#this post sponsored by i saw a post and wanted to bitch in the tags of a post but not in the tags of op's post since it would be a tangent

[spirit-shroud]

constantly mad about how food allergies r labelled

[noa-nightingale]

Gay Oar!!! ✨💖 - second post

After I wrote my nerdy little text about the appearance of Oar Oar in the Mansa Musa PH ep (you can find that post here), I naturally also had to write one about Sword Oar appearing in the Smallpox ep.

I honestly should have expected him to show up sooner or later after his boyfriend already did but it still caught me off guard. ✨

I’ll use my beautiful “autisticwatcher” tag for this (and if you also have to say things about Watcher-related autism stuff or autism-related Watcher stuff, feel free to use it too). Here is an attempt to justify it even though this topic probably is not inherently autistic: a) I experience every part of life through an autistic lense and b) the ways I express joy are... let’s say, atypical.

Here’s what I mean by that (and don’t worry, this is going somewhere): I am not a very outwardly expressive person. My face is kind of neutral most of the time (you could call it resting bitch bastard face), I have a voice that is often monotonous, and I don’t like showing strong emotions.

And this is what I did when Sword Oar showed up: I sort of jerked back in my chair and clapped my hands once. Then continued watching the episode with the biggest autistic grin (i.e. with what probably looked like a mild smile from the outside). ✨

Let’s get into it! Once again, it brought me great happiness to write this, and - be warned - some of this stuff is pretty specific. And once again, I did not expect that I would spend my time writing about a sponsorship part. ^-^

Enjoy! 💖

“Okay, moving along! Oh-” - “Oar are we!” Never stop with the oar puns, please. I live for the oar puns.

I think I already talked about Oar Oar’s voice and how much I like it but Sowrd Oar’s voice is equally amazing (sometimes a bit hard to understand but I can live with that - I love that voice). I also enjoyed his soft little laugh in the beginning. It was sweet.

We get a little more info on the Professor who apparently smells like “rotten cotton candy mixed with expired vinegar” (also, the sound effect after that killed me lol). Oof. Didn’t have to expose him like that lmao. I like that Sword Oar says to the Professor “I like you but you are a smelly guy” - confirming that he indeed likes him (I have one or two headcanons about this but I am... not going to mention them here, for reasons I will write about below).

The sponsor for this episode is Scentbird, and Sword Oar starts talking about “smelling seasonally appropriate” which I like - we are transitioning into autumn, the leaves will change soon, it is almost Over the Garden Wall rewatch time (I usually start my annual rewatch in October), and I just like the autumn vibes, the thoughts of pumpkins and colorful leaves and little ghosts. It’s my favorite time of the year. 🍂

Here’s a quote from the episode: “put that light sexy summer fragrances on the shelf in exchange for a thick seductive scent for the colder months”.

Okay okay OKAY you... you can’t do this to me!! >:( I have Thoughts about this, okay? Again, I am not giving you any details here (see below) but I have one or two new ideas about Sword Oar’s and Oar Oar’s relationship, and all this talk about “sexy” and “seductive” is not helping.

Like... not to get too depressed in a post about anthropomorphic oars and a sponsorship but there was a time when it was not even legal to be gay (and that time was not that long ago) and there was a time when I did not see any happy queer representation in any media. (I had Brokeback Mountain and that movie is sad as all hell; it breaks my heart every time I watch it, it is incredibly tragic, and that was pretty much the only thing I saw happening to queer people in fiction when I was growing up - struggle, suffering and death. It does something to a queer teenager, is what I am saying. And you carry that pain into adulthood, even if things do get better.)

And then look at these oars - openly gay, openly in love and openly sexual with each other. Yes I am getting emotional about a goofy little quote in a friggin’ sponsorship part, goddamnit!! Even considering all the things that are better now, queer people still get hurt and harassed and harmed and sometimes killed for being queer, and queer sexuality is still stigmatized, and it means a lot to me to have these puppets who are just so unapologetically gay and talk openly about it.

Maybe all of this is an overreaction to a tiny little quote. But it makes me happy (and sad), and I want to talk about it. ❤️

Moving on! To more queer stuff (it is more lighthearted this time, don’t worry)! :D

He mentions not having arms or legs, and that’s the bane of my existence tbh. You probably know by now that I draw a lot of gay oars art, and I have complained before about the fact that these guys don’t have hands. Do you know how many gentle things I could draw if they had hands? You can’t lovingly hold someone’s face without hands, you can’t intertwine your fingers with them, you can’t hug them without arms. So. Yeah. The audacity! /lh

(Come to think of it, Maizey and Gebra don’t have hands either. Shane Madej, sir, I am begging you, please give your LGBTQ+ characters hands!)

Here is another quote: “Let me give you a rundown of some of the sweet sweet sniffs I’ve been dancing with thanks to Scentbird.” Ugh it sounds so charming. It’s just such a charming way to put it. 🌻

He then lists some fragrances and I especially want to mention Confessions of a Rebell - Morning After, and the quote “hot nights never smelled so good”.

I AM ASKING YOU AGAIN

WHY

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME

And again, I won’t go into all the new headcanons and ideas and thoughts I have about these oars and here is the reason - I don’t know how many minors are following me. Like, I don’t want to make this stuff sound too lewd or crass because I think that queer sexuality is already too often seen as something “dirty” instead of something perfectly okay and natural. Still, I will keep some of my thoughts to myself. Let’s just say, I am very fond of... all of this. 😊

Annnnyyyyways, Sword Oar lists a whole lot of other stuff, and I know that he has to talk about the sponsor, but what I am getting from this is, the guy really likes his scents.

He mentions amber+leather, he mentions lavender, and he mentions Gendarme - Sky which is a “complex and sultry blend of bergamot, cardamom and aged leather”, and I now have a few more ideas about what Oar Oar smells like. (Personally, I like “masculine” scents. Wood, leather and the like.)

Watcher has a code again (you can get 30% off). ✨

The last thing I want to mention is this: “you delicious thing, you”. I am not entirely sure if he is talking to the Professor or the audience but I am okay with both. Because a) I already have a headcanon about the oars and the Professor (which I will not talk about here because, again, there are probably some minors following me) and b) ... oh to be called a “delicious thing” by an anthropomorphic gay oar. 😘

That’s it for now. I spent the better part of three hours with this and hey, if you want to do me a favor, be kind to a queer person today (and if you are any flavor of LGBTQ+, please be kind to yourself - you are wonderful). 💖

I did not mean for this whole text to be this emotional and sometimes sad but I don’t mind it either.

Thanks for reading! ✨💕

❤️ 💛 💚 💙 💜

Also, here is some of my older art. Seemed appropriate. ^-^

[justahopelessssromantic]

Finding Hope: Part 3

A/N: Hey guys here’s another update for you ❤️ I’ve honestly had this like 99% done for a while now so I thought I’d finish it up and get it posted. I hope you all enjoy and as always thank you so very much for reading, it means the world to me 🥰💖

If anyone would like to be added to the tag list or removed please let me know

Finding Hope Masterlist

Thank you so much @carlaangel86 for making me another wonderful and beautiful collage 😘

*credit to the original owners of the pictures*

Warnings: Angst; violence and mentions of drug use

Word Count: 4933

Daniella had spent the first few weeks of living in Santo Padre while working at Romero Brother’s Scrapyard just getting acclimated to her new life outside of prison and this crazy new role as guardian to Hope. She took to her job quickly, picking everything up with ease. The work wasn’t exciting but it was a job and most importantly a chance to get to know Bishop better. Plus she had a great view of the guys while they worked. If she was going to be around men so much she might as well get to enjoy it a little bit. She had spent the past three years surrounded by women. She deserved a little bit of eye candy. And boy were they easy on the eyes. Especially Ezekiel Reyes with his incredibly buff biceps. 

For her EZ was the safest option. He was attractive, had a body built like a god and she had no feelings or urges to pursue him in any way. He was simply just a pleasant view. Nothing more. 

Daniella rested her head against her arm as her other hand fidgeted with the pen between her fingers. Her focus was currently on EZ as he did the scut work around the yard. Just behind him was Angel, his sponsor, watching him as he worked and he had a cigarette break. Angel looked up catching Daniella’s eyes as they flicked from EZ to him. 

She bit her lip, quickly looking away and back down to the schedule which she was supposed to be filling out for the next month. She prayed he would not come her way but of course with Angel that never worked. 

“Working hard?” Angel asked as he stepped into the small office smelling strongly of cigarette smoke. Fuck Daniella could really use a smoke right now. 

Daniella ignored him as she tried to focus on the schedule. “Is there something you need? If you want time off you have to run it by Bishop fist.” It was best to keep things curt with Angel. If she gave him an inch he’d take a whole fucking mile. 

Angel also ignored her comment continuing with what he wanted to say. “I see you’ve been checking out my baby bro.” He wasn’t stupid, he saw it. How could he not when he was always watching her? He’d watch her watch EZ and feel that familiar resentment towards his younger brother. Of course Daniella wouldn't give him the time of day but would ogle over Ezekiel, the golden boy. 

“Don’t you have work to do?” Daniella asked, finally looking up at him. 

“Don’t you?” 

“What the hell does it look like I’m doing?” Daniella set her pen down giving up on getting anything done here. 

“Looks like you were too busy drooling over EZ." Angel leaned back against the wall. "I don’t think that’s in the job description.”

“And you drooling over me is?” 

"Well you're much better looking than all those assholes I've seen everyday for years." Angel stated matter of factly. 

Daniella rolled her eyes. She was about to ask Angel to leave when Chucky came in behind Angel. 

“There’s a man here for you.” Chucky said, ignoring Angel as he addressed Dani.

“A man?” Angel asked, looking between Chucky and Dani. Who the hell was this man looking for her?

Daniella’s mind began running around who all could possibly be here for her. She didn’t know enough people in Santo Padre for it to be anyone here which meant only one thing. Whoever it was was from her past. “Did he say who he was, Chucky?” She asked him, also ignoring Angel. 

“No, just said he was looking for you.”

“Well what did he look like?” Daniella was trying to figure out if whoever it was was someone she should face or if she should bail out the back. 

“Tall, muscular, blond hair, very handsome.” Chucky smiled describing the man. 

Angel did not like the description of this guy at all. He hadn’t even seen the guy but the mother fucker sounded like a real douche. And handsome? Fuck that. 

“Fuck,” Daniella muttered standing up from her chair. It was Reilly, her ex, had to be. Sooner or later someone was bound to find her. She was not surprised at all that it was him.

“Everything okay?” Angel asked as he watched her head for the door. She was already in a mood as she always was when Angel was around but she seemed even more upset, almost caught off guard by the surprise visitor.

“Yeah, just fucking peachy.” She mumbled before stepping out past Chucky. 

Angel and Chucky watched her walk away from the office towards the front gate. “Who the fuck is this guy Chucky?” Angel asked, not taking his eyes away from Dani.

“I think he’s Hope’s father,” Chucky informed Angel watching Dani as well. Based off of her reaction and the picture the man had showed him he was almost certain that’s who he was. “He showed me a picture of him and Daniella. They looked good together, happy.”

Angel didn’t like this one bit. 

Daniella made her way to the gate where she found Reilly waiting. Her blood was boiling as she stared him down. He just grinned at her smugly, his dimples showing. She wanted to smack them and that smile right off his stupd face. 

“You look good.” He said looking her up and down. It was true, she looked better than he had ever seen her. Prison was hell he knew that but it also got her out of her toxic life. If she wasn’t going to let him help her at least she got out somehow. 

“What are you doing here?” Daniella asked, crossing her arms. She wanted to make it very known to him that he was not wanted nor welcome here. 

“I’ve been looking for you.”

“Yeah? Well you’ve found me.” 

“Your mom sent me to find you. She’s in rehab. They found her in her home after she OD’d.” Reilly watched Danilla’s expressions carefully looking for anything that may give her away. “They also found Billy at the bottom of the stairs in rough shape. He’s in a coma, for now.”

“And?” Daniella raised her eyebrow. “Is there a reason you’re telling me all this?” She already knew all this although the part about her mother and Billy being alive was new. 

She was there afterall. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” Rowena asked looking at Daniella as she stared at the home she grew up in, the place that held so much pain for her. 

“I’m sure. Thanks Ro, but I have to do this alone.” Daniella looked back giving Rowena a smile before exiting her vehicle and making her way up the cracked sidewalk to the front door. 

Without knocking she opened the door entering the house the stench almost knocking her out. She stopped in the doorway, her body filling with dread. She hoped to never step foot in this place again but here she was. 

Just get in, get your money, and get the fuck out she reminded herself. 

She pushed through making her way down the hallway. She tried to push the memories to the back of her mind. She didn’t want to remember the time her mother first shoved the needle in her or the time when Billy broke her arm or when Reilly told her he loved her. She didn’t want to remember any of it. The house held pieces of her she wished were dead, things she longed to forget. 

The TV played faintly from the living room, she could hear the Price Is Right’s theme song. Cigar smoke billowed out from the room. She assumed Billy was in there. He was a creature of habit. Every day he’d watch his show getting high. If she was lucky she could make her way past him without him even knowing. 

Unfortunately she wasn’t lucky. 

“Daniella, is that you?” She heard his gruff voice call out. 

She should have ignored him. All she had to do was keep walking but no she stopped to entertain him. “Who else would it be?” 

Billy smirked spreading his legs open as he leaned back into his recliner. “Come sit on Daddy’s lap.” He said, patting his leg. “If you’re a good girl and do as I say I might just give you a treat.”

His smile was sickening. 

She gulped, swallowing the bile that creeped up her throat. How many times had she heard that before? No she wouldn’t think about that right now, couldn’t. She wouldn’t go there. “Where’s my mother?” 

“How the fuck should I know?” He snarled, putting out his cigar. “Doesn’t matter. She never minded sharing before.”

Daniella squeezed her trembling hands into fists. Just breathe, she reminded herself. She should have never come here. She wasn’t going to do this. She made her way further down the hall and to the kitchen. 

The smell was much worse there. 

The small room was filled with used dishes, trash, and needles. How anyone could live like this was beyond her. She couldn’t believe she used to live in these very same conditions. 

Never again, this wasn’t her life anymore. This wasn’t who she was. 

She opened the drawer beside the sink that was filled with dirty disgusting water. She scrunched her nose up at the sight before pulling all the junk out of the drawer. 

“It’s not in there.” Billy was now standing in the doorway watching her, his eyes on her ass. She really had grown into quite the woman. 

Daniella tried to ignore the chill that ran through her body as the hair on the back of her neck rose up. Of course she should have known that they would have found her hiding space eventually. Taking a deep breath she turned around to look at him. “I want my money Billy. I earned that shit.” 

“After everything your mother and I did for you, you come in here expecting more?” Billy took a step towards her. If she wasn't already backed into the counter she would have taken one herself. ”You always were an ungrateful little bitch.”

“Just give me my money and I’ll be out of your hair.” Daniella said through clenched teeth. 

“You should have been out of my hair already if only the stupid bitches had done their job,” Billy smiled as he approached Daniella loving how she instinctively tried to make herself smaller as if she could disappear. “You know what they say. You want a job done well, you gotta do it yourself.”

Billy lunged for Daniella. Daniella barely dodged him before he caught her slamming her against the counter before shoving her head into the sink full of water holding her under. Daniella gasped and sputtered as the water filled her lungs. She grasped onto the side of the sink desperately feeling around for anything. Her hand finally felt something. She grabbed a hold of the handle swinging the object back colliding it with Billy just enough to get him off of her. 

Daniella gasped and coughed as she clutched onto the sink. She had never been so thankful for fresh air in her life. She didn’t nearly have enough time to gather herself. Before Billy could have the mind to try again she quickly fled past him where he had been clutching his head. 

“Get back here bitch!” Billy called out coming after her. 

Daniella frantically made her way through the house stealing a glance back every now and then. Billy wasn’t far behind. She quickly rounded the corner and rushed up the stairs taking them two at a time. She was just at the top when she felt Billy’s large hand grab her shoulder yanking her back. Daniella grabbed onto the railing to keep herself from going down. Her back slammed against it as she heard the loud thud from Billy going down, tumbling down the stairs. 

Looking back she stared at his still body for a moment in shock. The adrenaline was pumping through her body as she tried to determine if he had been breathing or not. She really hoped he fucking wasn't. 

She stared a little longer in disgust before heading back up the rest of the stairs. She was here for her money and she'd be damned if she left empty handed. 

She made her way down the hall before she reached the second to last door and stopped. She looked at the beat up door. The paint was chipping and the handle was still busted from Reilly. 

Just more shit she didn't want to remember. 

There was no time for taking a trip down memory lane. 

Daniella finally made it to her mother’s room. It was quiet and no one came out after Billy so she assumed she was either not home or just so out of it she didn’t hear or care about the noise the two created. Slowly Daniella opened the door peeking in. She cursed as she saw her mother’s figure across the floor by the foot bed with a needle still in her arm. 

She nudged her with her foot once and got nothing. Next she leaned over looking for any signs of life but didn’t find any. “I told you that shit would kill you one day.” She spat glaring down at her mother’s lifeless body. 

Stepping over her mother she opened the closet in search of Billy’s money. What she wasn’t expecting to find was the soft brown eyes of a small girl who couldn’t be any older than three.  

“Jesus Christ,” Daniella muttered, squatting down to be level with her. Hope just stared back at her, thumb securely in her mouth with her bear wrapped in her arms. Her eyes were puffy and full of tears. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” She told her, reaching out towards her. It took a moment but eventually Hope removed her hand from her mouth and took Daniella’s hand. 

Daniella couldn’t just leave her there, so she did the only thing any decent human being would do. She got herself and Hope the hell out of there.   

Reilly sighed running his hand through his hair. “I’m telling you this as a friend.”

Daniella scoffed. Reilly had some nerve coming here and claiming to be her friend. He didn't care about her and never would. He proved that a long time ago. 

“Don’t be like that Dani. You don’t exactly have a lot of friends right now. If I were you I wouldn't drive away the few you do.” He warned her. She may not be able to see it but he loved her. Everything he did was for her, to protect her. 

“I don’t need anyone and I certainly don’t need you Reilly. I’m just fine on my own.”

 “And you’re on your own?” 

“Are you asking if I’m seeing anyone? Because our ship sailed the fuck away a long time ago and it’s never coming back.” She wasn’t stupid. She knew Reilly was still hung up on her. In his mind he was just the hero, rescuing her, but at the end of the day he fucking used her and Daniella does not forgive easily. 

“No, fuck no.” Reilly chuckled. He knew there was no one. Daniella wouldn’t let anyone in enough to enter her life like that and certainly any poor sucker she did wouldn’t last long. “I’m asking about Hope.” 

“Hope?” 

“Don’t play dumb Dani. I’m not stupid.” Reilly stuck his thumbs in his belt loops switching his weight on his feet. “Look Joselyn doesn’t know she’s gone yet but when she does she’s going to come looking for you first and Billy, well you better just pray he never wakes up and finds out about the missing money.” 

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” 

Reilly nodded seeing right through her. Daniella was stubborn, he knew that better than anyone. “Just so you know I’ll be around for a while. I like Santo Padre. It’s a good change of scenery.” 

“Do whatever it is your cold dead heart desires. I don’t care.” But she did care. The last thing she needed was Reilly around watching her. 

“I’ll see you around Dani.”

“Hopefully not.” 

“Who the fuck is that?” Bishop asked nodding towards Dani and the man who was talking to her. He squinted his eyes trying to see him better in the bright sunlight. 

“No idea,” Creeper said leaning forward onto the picnic table. All the guys were outside watching, trying to get a read on the guy and the situation.

Angel came over to the guys with Chucky just behind him. Pulling out his pack of cigarettes he looked back at Daniella and the man before addressing his brothers. “Chucky says he’s the father. Dani didn’t seem too happy to have him here.” Although Angel was sure he was more upset by the surprise visitor than her. 

“The piece of shit?” Bishop asked, staring down Reilly. “Did he tell you anything Chucky?”

“Nope. Just that he was looking for Daniella.” Chucky watched the tense expression on Bishop’s face and then looked over to the two as well. There was something there Chucky just wasn’t quite sure what yet. 

“What are they saying?” Angel asked leaning down next to Coco who was watching intently as well.

“Does it look like I can fucking read lips to you?’” 

“I don’t know. You’re the fucking sniper.” Angel shot back. “You’re supposed to have good eyesight and shit.”  

“Maybe if you two idiots would shut up we could hear.” Hank told the two taking a smoke from Angel. 

Taza patted Bishop on the shoulder leaning down to his ear. “You okay brother?” 

“Just fucking peachy.” Bishop muttered, not taking his eyes off Reilly who he could see just past Daniella whose back was to the men. If looks could kill he’d be a dead man. 

Daniella watched Reilly leave until he was completely out of sight. She finally relaxed a little having him gone but she couldn’t shake the gnawing anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Her mother and Billy were supposed to be dead. Everything would be so much easier if they were dead. Now she was really fucked. 

Why couldn’t they just fucking stay dead?

Daniella shot a quick text to Letty telling her to stay in today and keep Hope home. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was going to do now with Reilly here. She couldn't hide Hope forever but she couldn’t trust him to not betray her again. 

Shoving her phone back in her pocket she turned around to find all the guys looking her way. Just as soon as she caught them they all turned away pretending to be preoccupied by anything at all, well all except Bishop, Taza, and Angel. They didn’t care if they got caught watching. 

Daniella’s eyes met Bishop’s for a second. There was something there, something that made her uneasy. She wasn’t threatened or put off by him. He just looked caring, loving, protective even. He made her feel all the things a father should and that made her nervous. 

Fuck she was making things up in her mind. It was a terrible idea to work for Bishop. She should have gone somewhere else, anywhere but here.

She didn't feel like talking to any of the guys right now. She knew what they would have a million questions and she needed some time to clear her head before she talked to any of them. She headed back towards the office and sure enough before long Angel was beside her. 

"You okay?" He asked her. He watched her face as she kept her eyes dead ahead refusing to look his way. "Who was that guy? Was he bothering you?" 

“Not now Reyes.” She snapped, slamming the door to the office behind her. Leaning back against the door she ran her hands over her face. She wanted to scream but was afraid that would draw even more unwanted attention to her. Instead she just muttered another fuck plopping down in her chair before burying her face in her arms on the desk. 

Of course when she finally felt like she was settling down, like her and Hope could make a home here, that’s when everything had to go to shit. 

Daniella looked up as she heard the door to the office open. She was sure she would see Chucky or Angel but to her surprise it was Bishop. 

“That guy giving you trouble?” He asked her, walking up to the desk. 

“No he’s harmless.” It wasn’t Reilly she was most concerned about right now but her mother and Billy. They were the real threat. Reilly was just a pawn to them. “Do you mind if I go home early? I got everything done for the day.” 

“Go ahead, take the rest of the day.” He gave her a smile. Even though she said Reilly wasn’t a threat he could see she was rattled by him or whatever it was he said. “Chucky can handle the rest. I’ll have Angel escort you home. Just to make sure there are no problems.” Angel had already approached Bishop about taking her home. 

Daniella couldn’t believe he was sending a babysitter with her, especially Angel. “That’s really not necessary. I’ll be fine.” She insisted. 

“He’ll just make sure you get there alright then head back here.” Quite frankly he didn’t care if Dani wanted this or not. He didn’t like that asshole out here today. Maybe he couldn’t protect her all those years ago but he sure as hell was going to do all he could to protect her now.  

“Why? I can handle Reilly.” 

“Because that’s what we do around here Dani. We look after each other.” Yes there was a little more to it because of their connections but he wasn’t doing anything he wouldn’t do for anyone else who worked with them or were a part of their family. “Just do this for me. It’ll give me one less thing to worry about.”

Dani didn’t have the energy to argue right now. She weighed her options a moment thinking of any other possible person who could escort her home but she assumed that if Bishop suggested Angel that he already went through the options himself. “Okay, fine.”

“You know you really don’t have to walk me all the way to my door.” Dani told Angel as they climbed the steps to her apartment. She was annoyed enough that he had to follow her all the way home. She figured he would keep going as soon as she parked in front of the building but nope he pulled in behind her and here they were now.

“Yeah, well Bishop will have my ass if I don’t make sure you are inside safe and sound.” He said smugly. It was more for him than Bishop but it was a good enough excuse. Really he wanted to make sure that asshole from earlier wasn’t waiting there and he wanted to know exactly where she lived. “How’s Hope?” 

“She’s good.” Dani smiled a little thinking of Hope. Hope still hadn’t completely warmed up to Dani but they were getting used to having each other. Dani had learned a lot about the young girl. She learned the things that Hope liked and disliked, she learned how to understand her more even though she still wouldn’t really talk, and she learned how to comfort her on those heartbreaking nights when Hope had nightmares. 

She was getting used to having the little girl around. She was all in with her. Dani had never loved as deeply for another as she had Hope. That’s what made Reilly being around, having Hope’s parents alive so much scarier. If it was just her that would be one thing but now she had Hope. She couldn’t let anything happen to Hope. 

“Are you okay?” Angel asked her again, noticing how her smile turned to a frown. 

“I’m fine. It’s just been a day.” 

Angel didn’t really care if he was prying. He had to confirm what Chucky had told him. “That guy today, is he Hope’s father?” 

Dani was taken back a moment. She wanted to laugh at that but it wasn’t a bad assumption. Reilly was going to be around anyways. “Yeah, he’s the one.” 

"What's he doing here? Is he giving you trouble about Hope?" Angel stopped behind Dani as they reached her apartment. 

She turned around looking up at him. "A little, but he's harmless. Trust me I can handle him." It wasn't a complete lie. He was asking about Hope. "Now is this good enough or are you going to have to do a whole sweep of my apartment?" 

"I mean it wouldn't hurt anything." Angel shrugged. 

"I was being sarcastic.” Dani crossed her arms. Angel smirked, he loved when she did that. “I’ll see you tomorrow Reyes.” 

“I’m not going anywhere until I see you get inside safely. Orders are orders.” Angel smirked. She was stubborn but so was he. 

Daniella gave him a cheesy smile before turning back around and opening her door. Once inside she looked back at him and held her arms out. “See? I’m inside safely now so goodbye.” 

Angel glanced back past Dani to Hope and a young girl on their couch watching a show. The girl looked over at them furrowing her eyebrows at him. She looked like she could be related to Dani. The two had matching attitudes and all. “Call if you need anything.” He said seriously. As much as he enjoyed flirting he was more concerned for Dani and Hope’s well being right now. “Someone will always be around if you need them.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind, goodbye Angel.” Dani watched as he turned around and headed back down the stairs. She stepped out the door so she could see him leave completely. 

Angel smirked, feeling her gaze on his back. He turned around the smirk still all over his face. “See ya tomorrow little mama.”

Fuck did he irritate her. 

“Who was that?” Letty asked from behind Daniella startling her. “He’s hot.” 

Dani turned around giving her a look. “He’s too old for you so don’t even think about it.” 

“Does he have a brother?” Letty passed Hope to Daniella following her into the house, closing the door behind them. 

“Also too old for you.” Dani rolled her eyes. “Look we’ll find you a boy. A boy your own age.” She stressed. Letty didn't need to be messing around with any older men.

“Do you like him?” Letty pried following Daniella into the kitchen. Her mind was stuck on the hottie with Dani. There was definitely something there and Letty wanted to know everything. Dani set Hope on the counter before going into the fridge pulling out the leftover take out they had from the night before. “Is there something going on there?” Letty smirked hopping onto the counter with Hope handing her the blue sippy cup full of orange juice.

“What? With Angel?” Daniella placed the food on the counter and pulled out a couple of forks. “No, absolutely not. There is nothing there. You’re crazy.” 

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Letty teased. “He obviously likes you and you’d be crazy to not find him attractive. You can at least fuck him. I bet he’d be really good in bed.” Letty opened one of the containers grabbing a fork to dig in. 

Daniella glared back at Letty. “Would you please just shut the fuck up and eat your damn food?” Daniella picked Hope off the counter, settling her on her hip. 

“Come on after so many years locked up with no dick you deserve a little something... or a big something.” Letty smirked thinking about Angel. “He’s definitely packing.” 

“Oh my god Letty. Shut the fuck up.” Daniella laughed pushing Letty playfully. 

“I’m just saying.” Letty hopped off the counter grabbing the food before walking after Dani towards the living room. “Would it really be so bad?”

“With Angel? Yes.” Daniella set Hope on a pillow in front of the coffee table. She then settled next to her dishing some of the food onto a plate for Hope. “That's exactly what a man like him wants. I can't give in." 

"So you do want to fuck him?" 

Dani glared at Letty. "I never said that."

"You haven't said you didn't want to either." Letty pointed out with a smirk. She leaned forward grabbing the remote as she ignored Dani's stare. She figured she'd drop it for now. "What do you want to watch?"

"Anything." Dani shrugged as she turned her attention to her food. It’s not like her mind would be all there to enjoy a show anyways. She smiled down at Hope as she watched her pick the carrots out of her food to eat.

"Okay." Turning on the TV Letty decided on Friends. She sat back enjoying the light show as she dug in herself. Anything was better than being at home. As long as Dani didn't mind her hanging around she would often stay a little longer after Dani got home. At least here she felt welcome and safe. With Dani she felt accepted. It was something Letty wanted to enjoy but also not get too comfortable in. For now though she wasn't going to worry about it. 

Tagged List: @jad3djay​ @fairygardenss​ @carlaangel86​ @starrynite7114​ @agirllovespasta​ @gemini0410​ @naytraydr​ @knowles-morgan​ @woahitslucyylu​ @everyhowlmarksthedead​ @ktiz90​ @brothersofmayhem​ @ifoundmyhappythought​ @vsfavs​ @scuzmunkie​ @chibsytelford​ @sadeyesgf​ @blessedboo​ @multiyfandomgirl40​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @toni9​ @briana-mishell24​ @cind-in-real-life​ @sammskellington​

[cohentm]

✮     ∷     ╰  𝖈𝖔𝖍𝖊𝖓  &  𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖜  :  

a connection  /  plot masterlist  .

              oof hey babies! i’m making this post so y’all know exactly how i’m breaking down the plots i have so far. i jotted down fulfilled connections, followed by the people i know i’m still in the midst of plotting with ( labeled “tba,” will be updated once we’ve decided on a backstory ), & at the end i listed some wanted connection ideas! even if you see your character on this list, though, and you’re like miss bri.... i want to change / add to / alter / etc that paragraph u wrote... especially if u see a wanted connection and you’re like whew i kinda want that now.... puhlease lmk. i’m down for absolutely anything & everything. mwah. x

𝖋𝖚𝖑𝖋𝖎𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘.

parker  ,  ride or die  .  

these two could be a tag team duo if they wanted to be--and practically are when it comes down to it. cohen isn’t scared to get into a fight just because parker’s already there. parker’s hotheadedness and cohen’s will to throw a punch have been melding since the earliest of days, when parker was getting into abrupt locker room fights with their own teammates, even. cohen, being the type who can’t avoid starting shit with those same teammates, never found himself pooling more blame into parker’s bucket. instead, cohen sympathizes the only way he knows how: by holding out his hand and letting parker know that cohen doesn’t need a rhyme or reason to have parker’s back. for cohen nowadays, it’s just on sight. 

olivia  ,  meeting in the middle  /  opposites attract  .

the truth is, olivia should absolutely hate cohen, and cohen should absolutely hate olivia. she’s all warmth & sunlight and he’s all hasty reactions & tunnel vision. but for some reason, olivia has managed to penetrate his demeanor without even trying. he tries to be marginally “better” whenever he crosses her path. when they speak, he finds himself thinking things out a fraction deeper before he throws the whole idea / person / situation in the garbage like the pessimist / self-acclaimed “realist” he is. at parties, he’s the first to jump into a fight, but with olivia’s soft touch, he hesitates. he doesn’t know what it is about her, but she makes himself second guess himself ( often for the better ).

finn  ,  chaotic neutral  &  neutral evil friendship  .

if there’s one person cohen can stand for extended periods of time, it’s finn. finn’s chaotic neutral personality melds with cohen’s neutral evil personality seamlessly. oftentimes, finn and cohen are the duo at the party nodding at each other from across the room because a situation is escalating and cohen’s already rolling up his sleeves prepping to knock someone out for the hell of it. no matter what, finn’s a non-team member cohen’s constantly catching himself leaning on a little. he doesn’t feel like he has to watch his mouth around finn, let alone feel guilty for something like a consistently dirty car ( LXFMDFG ), which is a refreshing feeling cohen doesn’t often run into.

leo  ,  harsh truth-tellers  .

it isn’t uncommon for cohen to bump into leo, given his record for getting called off the field. coach tended to send him to the locker room with a physical therapist just to hide the fact that what cohen was actually getting called off for was excessive anger during a game. leo’s a hardass just like cohen, though, which makes speaking to her simultaneously easier and harder--since she’s bound to knock heads with him, but also give it back just the way he takes it. if there’s one thing cohen’s an expert at in their tedious relationship, though, it’s judging leo for all she’s worth. part of him loves the fact that she keeps herself so upright, after all, so when she’s simping hard and cohen feels she’s dwelling or losing track of herself just to appease people who treat her like shit, cohen’s never been afraid to let her know. this gives their relationship a rocky little twist, but cohen doesn’t shy from the truth.

summer  ,  no strings flirtationship  (  ft. mild to severe seemingly unrequited pining  )  .

summer and cohen have always been oddly close in a way that cohen isn’t close with anyone else. in high school, in a dramatic effort to push summer away after too many a repeated fling, cohen invited summer to his chaotic home. however, poised as she was, she remained entirely unphased by his chaotic living situation & family. since then, cohen has felt more uncomfortably comfortable around summer than he has around anyone else. she continuously manages to seep into his life all on her own. they sleep together casually on occasion, often fight “playfully” in an effort to egg each other on, and tend to open up to each other entirely unprecedently.

clara  ,  ex-girlfriend circa cohen’s sophomore year of college ( two years ago )  &  family friends  .

cohen and clara have been linked via their love for each other’s sibling since high school. clara was always best friends with his sister natalie, and he was always best friends with her brother cam. although clara was a consistent aspect in cohen’s life, they never got together until clara’s senior year of high school, which was subsequently cohen’s sophomore year of college. cohen was convinced he’d make it with her ( which is a rarity in & of itself ) much longer than they actually ended up making it, since cam died a year into their official relationship, sending both cohen and clara spiralling in entirely separate directions. 

renee  ,  PLOTTING ENSUING  !  TBA  .

tyler  ,  PLOTTING ENSUING  !  TBA  .

rafael  ,  PLOTTING ENSUING  !  TBA  .

devon  ,  cousins  .

georgia  ,  PLOTTING ENSUING  !  TBA  .

𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘.

childhood best friends  and/or  cousins  :  someone cohen knows very deeply, and vice versa. maybe they lived in the same trailer park, maybe your muse’s rich family is related or connected, somehow to his poor cowboy redneck family ( maybe his construction worker dad was drunk on the job and now ur muse’s family thinks of his alcoholic messy parents as nuisances? maybe his parents think ur muse’s parents are too posh and hate their guts? ), maybe their families don’t get along.... maybe their families DO get along and ur muse is someone his parents ask after and talk about constantly! the possibilities are endless. regardless, though, this muse and cohen grew up playing together, smoking cigarettes ( or ur muse watching 12 y/o cohen smoke a cig MVLKFDG ), pretending to be grown because cohen FELT like he was grown by the time he could speak clear sentences, etc. cohen’s family’s a mess but they’re a family all the same. they may fight and drink constantly, but at the end of the day you can find them outside their trailers sitting in camping chairs drinking budweiser around a campfire and making fun of each other.

unrequited  /  secret  /  forbidden crush  :  maybe your muse secretly liked cohen and never said anything, maybe cohen secretly liked your muse and never said anything, etc. bonus points if your muse’s family knows cohen has a whole ass petty criminal record a la ryan from the o.c. and would absolutely throw a fit if they saw their kid even looking in cohen jetson’s general vicinity for too long. LKMDFK how they each deal with their crush today is totally up to us.

bail out  :  someone who vouches for cohen even when he’s getting into the worst kind of trouble. maybe they’ve caught him coming down from a high ( he used to take athletic stimulants for energy & performance, and is currently eight months into his most recent recovery / rehab attempt ) and have kept the fact that they saw him using on the dl in an effort to give him a chance to be better without getting kicked off the team. maybe they’ve given him a ride home from jail after getting picked up for fighting or public drunkenness and his parents weren’t picking up bc why would cohen’s parents ever.... LMDSFLKFG. maybe cohen bails ur muse out too and secretly helps them even when they should be left to suffer in the SAME way that cohen should be left to suffer. but they’re too close. it’s almost like they coddle each other. maybe it’s due to some romantic subplot or something like a sibling inkling. OOF maybe they’re exes. kill me now u know?

sponsor  -  esque relationship  :  basically someone who can cool cohen down when he’s craving a high, craving alcohol, when he’s getting irritable because he’s not performing well enough, when he’s going workout-crazy and needs someone to be like bitch.... can u sit down for like five seconds? LDMDFLKGKFG someone who doesn’t care when cohen cusses them out for no reason because they’ve got a tough shell and know he’s just getting irritable w them because he’s having a moment. someone patient w him. someone he has probably cried to before because he’s...... tired.

party friend  :  self-explanatory! maybe they’re infamous for ditching parties and heading straight to bars together. LDFMKD absolutely iconic of them. they’ve probably at least made out upwards of ten times because that’s.... cohen. SKDFJ unless ur a straight male, in which case, he politely flirts with u and that’s it. x basically this muse has seen him get into unwarranted bar fights just because he’s a bitch who will ALWAYS throw the first punch, this muse has walked home with him when they’re both way too drunk to drive, this muse probably goes back to cohen’s apartment PLASTERED with him after midnight and stays up to cook a meal and play a game of uno with him, etc, etc. we love nothin’ but warm-hearted fun in this house. 

exes on bad terms  /  hateship  /  enemies that detest each other  :  oof someone cohen has screwed over multiple times? more likely than u think. which is very likely. LKDSMFLKDF maybe they were exes? maybe cohen cheated on your muse? maybe cohen cheated WITH your muse and your muse didn’t find out until the break-up? maybe cohen beat your muse’s brother’s/dad’s ass and now there’s bad blood? maybe cohen broke things off with your muse before things could ever get serious? maybe cohen’s general demeanor just pisses your muse off? we’ve all been there KDNFDLKGN. basically these two hate each other and don’t even TRY to hide it anymore.

[wetookanoath]

god so much makes sense now!! like everything after season 5 of supernatural ended makes sense. do you remember when we got that pic of three of them at buzzfeed offices? i do hope that they'll tell us more about how and when they decided to do this in the future. i think everyone is interested in hearing about that. also you said that you called it (in your tags), do you mind sharing how you figured it out? if you want of course.

I really hope we get to know more of all that, too. For the log Ryan started yesterday, it seems that we will be getting a few bits of info before the first show is online, which is amazing.

Now, my tags. Well, earlier this year I think we all noticed a lot of things were changing and sometimes, during the hiatus mostly, they would not even show up on social media. And as someone who has been in this fandom for a while and has been following them on socmed as long, it was just a bit odd.

I never commented about it online, just in private with a few friends, because… well, I never thought it was this huuugeee thing or any conspiracy theory or anything, and more important– these kind of things at the time, when we didn’t knew what was actually going on, would actually make other people panic and I dind’t want to scare anyone or anything. 

Continuing in that, there were another few things: the show being shorter and only two seasons a year when we were used to even four season a year. The lack of them in other buzzfeed material and videos, how they didn’t show up in anyone’s socmed stuff, the amount of “free” time they seemed to have because when they actually posted something, they were always in their respective homes at office hours and I just *eyes emoji*.

But when I really started to suspect they had at least left the company was when both changed their socmed profiles to “host of BFU!”, having taken down their “buzzfeed producer!” credentials. To me it was like MMMMMM INTERESTING because we haven’t seen them at the office AT ALL in all the year.

(And again, they used to post A LOT of the office back when they were there, like they would annoy each other so constantly and film each other, it was funny dfjgndinfirgi. BUT NOW WE KNOW WHYYY, they couldn’t post themselves annoying each other because they were working, djnfdinfir)

So by the time we saw Ryan tweeting to so many companies for collab and sponsored stuff, it was strange. I remember thinking about if he wanted, like, the money, or the experience, or just the exposure, and that made me think of “for what?” and that’s when all the shit started to go crazy, because back then not only I was suspecting things, but again– nobody talked about it in public to not panic anyone, most people I knew was talking about it did it on private and it was never in a negative way. We were just curious! And genuinely interested because we all agreed on one thing: wherever they go, we are following.

In addition to that, Shane and Ryan started to follow interesting brands and people. Other kind of producers and marketing companies, and companies and independent studios no other buzzfeeders were following. The marketing thingys was more *eyes emoji* here, and the last thing was Ryan’s “we are trying to move onto other things which is why it will be two season per year” in an interview for Supernatural Season 6. It made me think of like-- “oh, so we are gonna see them somewhere else”, but Shane wasn’t really doing much that we knew, so I wondered if maybe Ryan had left and he didn’t, or if maybe whatever they were working on was something joined again since Ryan did use the word “we”. I thought it was just like “oh yeah, we are both interesting on working separatedly” and it turned out, it was actually a WE.

Finally, I do remember our long nights awake saying stupid things and going WHAT IF THEY START THEIR OWN COMPANY, and WHAT IF THEY CHANGE COMPANIES and some other shit. Hell, one of us was actually drunk and someone was high in cold meds (that was me, by the way lol), but hey– It was fun to get into the GC and go “I TOLD YOU SO, BITCHES, I TOLD YOU!” when they announced Watcher, because I was the one that went, very sure of myself and I don’t really know why, “look, whatever they do… they are gonna work together. I just know they are gonna work together, they have found their working spouse and they aren’t letting him go” and hey. I was right lol

[dyscrasia-eucrasia]

Part 3

<<Prev | Next>>

"So how was that show you went to last night?" Javier asked as he preened in front of the mirror. 

"Oh my god, it was so, so good," Angel replied as he peeled off his shirt and folded it. "Totally worth taking off a Saturday for. I actually got to talk to the lead singer for one of the bands and he was so gorgeous." 

"Yeah? Tell me you got pictures." 

"I got a couple when they were playing, here, come look." He motioned Javier over and retrieved his phone from his locker. 

Opening up his photo gallery, he'd already pushed the photos from the show down under a wall of selfies, most of the same angle and expression, with only the most minute of differences. 

"Girl," Javier said, clicking his tongue as he looked over Angel's shoulder, "you are so conceited." 

"Shut up, I am not. This is advertising." 

"Sure it is, Miss 'I'm a thousand followers away from ten K.' I saw your post begging for brand deals. Hey, if you get those flat tummy teas to sponsor you, you can do a post about how they flush out your system so you can take a ton of dick." 

"Oh my godddd," Angel laughed. "You are such a bitch! Do you want to see these pics or not?" 

"Yaaaas, show me!" 

"Here," Angel tapped a photo and it expanded to fill the screen. It was probably the best picture he'd gotten at the show, one of Demie as he'd growled into the mic, his long hair cascading on either side of his face, which was half cast in shadow by the stage lights. Angel was especially fond of the way the shadows highlighted Demie's long, gaunt face, and the way the fake horns curled up around his ears. 

"...Girl," Javier said. His tone didn't sound like he was impressed. More like he was being judgemental. 

"What?"

"That is like, one of the ugliest dudes I've ever seen." 

"What? No he isn't, he's hot A.F." 

"Giiiirl, you can't be serious. Look at that ratty-ass beard! Oh my god, could you imagine trying to kiss someone with one of those?" 

"Oh whatever, you think bald old men are hot." 

"Nooo, I think Daddies are hot, not every old guy is a Daddy." 

"Ugh, gross." 

"You won't think it's so gross when I'm married to a hot rich old guy who dies and leaves me his mansion," Javier said, giving Angel a little shove and heading back over to the mirror. 

"That's right, I forgot your idea of romance is murder," Angel shot back. Javier shot him a look, pursing his lips, and gave Angel the finger before heading out of the locker room. 

Angel laughed to himself. He took another look at the picture of Demie. He'd taken surprisingly few photos of the show - something about the music had just taken such a strong grip on him that he'd forgotten to document the experience. In a way, it had felt too intimate to post on Instagram with a long-winded caption about how much he loved music or whatever. 

Plus, he preferred to tag artists in his posts, and despite doing a lot of digging, he hadn't been able to find any social media presence for Bacchus at all. No Instagram, no Twitter, no Spotify, not even a Bandcamp page. He'd even scrolled back through nearly a hundred of Marius' Instagram posts, looking for a picture of Demie or Elaine, but both were notably absent. 

That tracked, he guessed, considering Demie had said he didn't have a phone, but he could've sworn he saw Elaine on one. Surely she posted something about them, at least to let fans know if they had a show coming up. But all he'd been able to find was a post on a heavy metal Subreddit with a low-quality recording of the band, asking if it was true that Marius used to play for them. There were only two replies - one reporting that Marius had said in an interview that he used to play bass for an indie band, and another saying that Marius' music sucked. 

Angel sighed, thinking that he should've gotten a selfie with the band, to memorialize the show for himself if no one else. With that thought, he put his phone back in his locker and stripped down, changing into a g-string and heading out onto stage. 

He liked his job, for the most part. He enjoyed the freedom of being openly, luridly sexual in front of others. He enjoyed feeling like he had a power over the men who came into the club. It was a power he didn't really get elsewhere. Sure, he was tall and muscular for an Asian man, but in comparison to the average American, he was still short, and in the local gay scene he was expected to be a submissive little bottom. 

Not that there was anything wrong with being a bottom. He definitely was one. But he didn't appreciate the way he was expected to be a doormat for tops. 

When he was dancing, though, he held the power. And he loved that feeling. 

He didn't love when drunk guys tried to get handsy, though. And he didn't love having to pay to work the club, nor did he enjoy how unreliable the pay was. Some nights he could pull upwards of $600, others he struggled to get $100. Taking a Saturday off for the sake of a concert was an especially unwise move, since weekend nights were the best financially. 

He didn't really regret it, though. He was glad he'd gone to the show and had the opportunity to meet Demie. The singer occupied his mind the entire day, so much so that, after the club closed for the night and he got home, he pulled out his phone and dialed Demie's number, already saved to his contacts. 

The phone rang four times, and he was ready - albeit let down - to accept that Demie had given him a fake number when a female voice finally answered. 

"Hello?" She asked groggily. 

"Um… is Demie there?" He asked. 

"Who the fuck…" He could hear her say, though it sounded like she'd held the phone away from her. Her voice came back louder and asked, "Can I ask who's calling?" 

"This is Angel, Demie gave me this number after the show last night?" 

"Jesus fucking…" Her voice got muffled, but he could make out that she was shouting Demie's name. 

After shouting Demie's name twice, Angel could just barely make out Demie's voice shouting something back. 

"Phone! It's that guy from the show," Elaine shouted. There was some weird feedback, like she was rubbing the mouthpiece of the phone on her shirt, and then a clatter as the phone was handed over. 

"Hello?" Demie asked. 

"Hi, this is Angel. We met the other night." 

"Dude, it's like four in the morning." 

"Oh! Oh shit, you're right. Sorry, I work nights. I can call back later…" 

"Nah, it's cool, I was already up." 

Angel could hear Elaine shout something that sounded like 'I fucking wasn't.' Demie grumbled something and a few seconds later there was the sound of a door slamming shut. 

"What's up?" Demie asked. He made an 'oof' sound, like he was flopping down on a bed or chair. 

"What's your band's Instagram handle?" 

"Oh. We don't do that shit." 

"Seriously? What about Spotify? Or Bandcamp?" 

"What are those?" 

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Never heard of them." 

"Where do you sell your music, then?" 

"Uh… I've got some cassette tapes that we used to sell at shows. They're old stuff though, back when Mar was still in the band. Why, do you wanna buy one?" 

"Holy shit," Angel said with a laugh, tossing himself down on his futon. "What fucking decade did you walk out of?" 

"What? Tapes are cool. I don't know why anyone would want some e-file digital copy on their iPod or whatever when they could have a physical copy." 

"God, you sound like a hipster."

"I don't really know what that means but I'll take it as a compliment." 

There was a brief lapse in the conversation. Angel wasn't sure what to say. The more he found out about Demie, the more quaint he seemed. It was oddly endearing, knowing that there was no way Demie would've seen his Instagram. He never would've seen the airbrushed photos or the flirty stories or the pics of beautifully crafted breakfasts that he never actually ate because he had to maintain his abs for the sake of his job. 

In a world where everyone had to put their best self on display at all times for a digital audience, Demie had no expectations. He didn't see Angel-the-wannabe-micro-influencer. There was something beautifully vulnerable in that. 

"So what are you doing up at 4am?" Angel eventually asked. 

"Eh… I was writing some music. Haven't really done much since Mar moved out, but I dunno… I just kinda got this flash of inspiration. Just gotta see where it takes me, y'know?" 

"No, I get it. Back when I was in school, I just couldn't write essays during the day, somehow the words only came to me when I'd been up past midnight." 

"Hm. Yeah." 

"Can I ask what the song's about, or is it like… trade secret stuff?" 

"Yeah, no, it's cool. You ever heard of Orpheus?" 

"Oh, yeah. A friend of mine is in love with that one musical, what's it called? Hadestown?"

"Oh shit, they made a musical out of that? I thought it was just an album." 

"See, I didn't know it was an album first." 

"That's cool. So this song's more about the original myth…"

[msjr0119]

Hold my girl

Part 5

No one really knows about TRR Main characters past …. Most of this series is based on flashbacks from her childhood. I’ve changed the main characters name to, Freya Johnson as Riley Brooks is used in my other series.

Freya is in love with Drake, but he hasn’t returned the feelings- instead just acts horrible towards her. Will Freya return back to Cordonia with the court or will she stay in the USA after the UN party.

Tags:

@annekebbphotography @burnsoslow @drakesensworld @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bbrandy2002 @butindeed @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @pedudley @captain-kingliamsqueen @duchessemersynwalker @insideamirage @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @kozabaji @texaskitten30 @ibldw-main @kimmiedoo5 @nikkis1983 @dangerouseggseagleartisan @gnatbrain @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @addictedtodrakefanfic @angi15h @liamxs-world @rafasgirl23415 @notoriouscs @whenyourheartskipsabeat @jovialyouthmusic @nz1091 @yukinagato2012 @indiacater @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @beardedoafdonutwagon @dcbbw @qammh-blog

*****

“What do you mean you’re not coming back to Cordonia? Is it because of me? Because of the others? We all love you. I was going to ask you to be a Duchess. You came into our lives like a whirlwind. You brought us all together, you are the glue to our friendships.” Liam felt as if he couldn’t breathe- they had all failed her, he believed.

“No. I love you all. I truly do. I’m moving away- I’ve been offered a job. I’ll keep in touch with you all. I need a new start Liam. I’m so sorry.” Liam now felt as if his heart had stopped, not knowing at how the others would react to this news. A job is a job. She wouldn’t need a job if she returned with them- she was a close friend, he could provide for her or she could get a job in Cordonia.

“Please come back with us. We will all miss you.” His usual sparkly baby blues, were pleading with her to reconsider. Feeling guilty she was still in a dilemma about what to do.

“Liam, I can’t. I need a new start. Please don’t make my decision any harder than it already is. I will come and visit Cordonia every so often. I’ll keep to that promise. I need to pack my things and move them to Daniel’s. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Liam didn’t want to argue, he thought about cancelling the Coney Island trip- instead he would just meet up with the others and explain what was happening. Between them all they could brainstorm how to change her mind.

“As long as you promise to visit us, and we will visit you. How about we cancel Coney Island. I’ll talk to the others. You can pack your things, we can meet up for a last super around five o’clock?”

“Sure. Let’s make it a night to remember.”

******

Freya left Liam, feeling guilty but also relieved after her heart to heart with him. Packing her belongings she had with her, she was willing to pay Maxwell to post the rest of her belongings from Cordonia. On route to meeting Daniel, she felt sad that she was not only leaving her new friends, but also Daniel and her parents.

“You ready?”

“Sure. Let’s go.”

Freya met Daniel at the bar, they were short on time but Freya knew they could do it in the short break Daniel had from work. They both got in his car and drove up to the grave yard.

Freya started crying as she walked up to her parents graves, holding the folder Daniel had given her. In it was pictures of her and Daniel she had taken when she returned to New York and then pictures of her and her new friends from Cordonia.

“Thanks for printing these off for me Dan, where would I be without you?” She smiled softly at him, he took her hand into his as they walked up to the headstones.

Grace and Paul Johnson

Beloved parents of Freya

They loved their second home- New York

Tragically passed away 19th February 2007 aged 38 and 39

Hey Mom. Hey Dad. Sorry I haven’t been to visit sooner. I miss you both so much. You would not believe what happened to me in the last few months. You always said I was smart. Would you think it was smart to go on an adventure to a different country with four men you’d only just met? More like crazy I’d say.

So the story begins when Daniel, ditched me at work to go on date with Lola. You remember Lola? The bitch at high school, the biggest mean girl. Well when he first mentioned he was going on a date with her a few years ago I nearly hit him to wake him up. But she started to hang about with us, and she really has changed. She’s lovely and she’s perfect for Daniel. I can’t wait to be godparents to their children ha.

Anyway Daniel ditched me and left me a rowdy table to serve. I looked over and there was three men- they were all so different. I was ready to kill Daniel at this point. He owed me. He owed me big time. I walked over and took their order when another man approached the group- I had never seen someone so handsome. He was so polite towards me, at the end of the night he asked how I was doing. What customer asks how the waitress is? He wanted to thank me for taking care of them all (maybe I do make a pretty good damn waitress- maybe better than my original fantasy job). It wasn’t until then that I realised they had come to New York as tourists for his bachelor party but they hadn’t really planned what to do. He asked for recommendations about clubs in New York and that he would want me to join them, so he could thank me for that night by buying me a drink.

Clubs are boring I thought. Or maybe I was just bored of them because I went every weekend with Dan and Lola- feeling like the third wheel. I suggested going to the ‘secret spot’. The guys loved it. They all let loose. The bachelor- Liam, didn’t seem to be having as much as a good time as the other three. He told me the only thing he wanted to do in New York was to see liberty - typical tourist! Then I had a crazy thought- I’d only just met him and the others and then I was pulling out all the stops to get him there. I contacted John the guy who owns all the boats, asking him to take myself and Liam there. We snuck away from the beach and met John. On the boat Liam’s eyes lit up like he was a kid in a candy shop. He kept mentioning how he wished he could have freedom like liberty- that’s when he told me he was the crown prince of a country called Cordonia. It was a small country in the Mediterranean. We stayed there and admired the view. Just before we left he said he admired my adventurous spirit and that he would never forgot this night or me. That’s when we kissed. And that’s when I left him to find his friends and I walked back to my apartment.

The next morning I went for my usual run around Central Park before making my way towards to bar to start the early shift. I’d offered to work it as Daniel would have been hungover after his date with Lola. I walked into the bar and saw Daniel there. He explained that he was fine to work and to stick to the original rota. So that gave me the day off. As I left, I heard a man shout my name as he ran up to me out of breath. It was Maxwell, one of the men from the previous night. Maxwell reminded me so much of Daniel, fun, always up for a laugh, just genuinely a nice guy.

He explained how in Cordonia all the noble houses could sponsor a girl to win Liam’s heart and become his princess. Maxwell and his older brother Bertrand didn’t have anyone to sponsor as they didn’t have a sister. What have I got to lose I thought? Only my job, and Daniel but we are like glue. It wouldn’t be losing him it would be a ‘see you soon’. Without hesitation I agreed with Maxwell’s suggestion. He seemed so happy. I thought this would be an adventure of a lifetime. I could make new friends, Maxwell would make a brilliant friend. I was intrigued to get to know about the noble life. For me it wasn’t all about Liam even though we had that connection.

After months of shit in the royal court, it was finally the coronation ball when Prince Liam would become king and choose his bride. In those months, I honestly felt like giving up and returning back home. I just wanted to be near you both. No one heard me, but I would cry every night in my room- who would have thought this was so hard. I am a strong person, I don’t take any shit. I had bitches fucking with me, a man practically try to rape me, and then the former king screw my reputation up,throw me out of his country and make everyone hate me- everyone that is except my my closest friends. At the airport, I had guards surrounded me as if I was some criminal- it was suffocating. I just wanted the airport to announce that we was boarding on the plane back to home. Finally the call was announced and I grabbed my bag and went to the queue, that was until the Beaumont brothers begged me back- I mean practically in tears begging me back haha. I was doubtful about returning, seeing everyone, everyone making their own assumptions up about me. But then I remembered everything you taught me- to never give up, be strong, and never lose those close to you. I am Freya Johnson, I will never give up!

On return to court, I had to endure the engagement tour. I couldn’t care less about the engagement, all I wanted to do was clear my name! The only good thing about this tour was visiting cities in Europe and spending time with my friends.

The reason I am here writing this is because the end of the tour ironically is here at home, in New York. Yesterday, I finally cleared my name. Found the man who was responsible, he did a statement and now everyone is up my arse. I feel so relieved. And I hope you are proud of me.

Freya ended reading what she had written, Daniel was next to her and put his arms around her.

“Bloody hell freya, you don’t do things by half. The last few months have been like you’re staring in a movie. They would be so proud of you. As we all are.”

“Thanks Dan. I’ve missed you. In a way I will miss this shitstorm and the entertainment. But I’m ready to be free and move on.” She laughed.

“So now that’s done. Where are we placing the other things? Is there an order you want to put them in?” Freya retrieved the photos that she had asked Daniel to print off and placed them around the graves.

The photos I am leaving are of people that have come into my life and changed it. They all are so different and I love them all. Who’d have known that little Freya from London would have grown up to have the most incredible people look after her and care for her. I don’t know in what direction my future is heading, but with all these people in it even at a distance, I know it’s going to be a brighter one.

I don’t know when I will be back or how often I’ll be back. But don’t either of you ever forget that I love you both always. You’re both forever in my mind and my heart. You have both turned me into the woman I am today and I am grateful for you both letting me into your life’s twenty years ago.

I know that I am going to cherish my children as much as you did me- you’d both spoil your grandchildren so much and pour all the love to them. I wish you could walk me down the aisle dad when the time comes. I hope- no I know for a fact you are looking down on me as I am always looking up at you both.

Your loving daughter,

Freya Johnson xoxoxox

“Thanks for coming with me. I needed to do this.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for them don’t worry. So when can myself and Lola visit Vegas?”

“Whenever, you want. Hey, why don’t you both get married at the chapel?” Daniel cocked a brow, knowing she was joking- or so he had hoped. “I need to meet them all. Only Liam knows, I owe them all an explanation. I’ll see you tomorrow morning before I leave.”

******

Liam explained that they were all meeting for an early dinner- the others all went to Coney Island regardless of Liam’s and Freya’s absence. Meeting at the restaurant, they all noticed Liam and Bertrand looking defeated.

“What’s up? Where is Blossom?” Maxwell barely said as he was scoffing his face with candy floss.

“I don’t know Max. Liam told her five o’clock. If there was anything that she was taught from her time in Cordonia it would be to be punctual.” Liam shook his head, this was no time to criticise Freya.

“So, I called my engagement off with Madeleine. I met up with Lady Freya before. Informed her that I was going to ask her to marry me. Her face faltered, I knew deep down she would refuse. Then she opened up to me about a lot of her past....” Liam had informed Bertrand prior to the others arriving about the heart to heart with Freya. Drake and Maxwell looked at each other concerned, Drake whispered “I told you he would propose”, Maxwell swallowed hard knowing he was now involved in this possible love triangle even if Liam technically didn’t propose.

“Lady Freya isn’t returning to Cordonia.” They all gasped at Bertrand’s statement. When she mentioned it to Maxwell at the UN party he honestly thought she was bluffing.

“If anyone can convince her to come back with us it’s Daniel. Liam, Drake do you remember how to get to the Dive bar?”

******

Daniel stared at the clock at work, it was 7pm. He had taken a late lunch break to meet Freya to visit her parents. One more hour left, he thought. In an hour he would have to find that person to give the note from Freya.

“Please just find them and give them this. I couldn’t bare to face them all at the restaurant. They probably won’t remember how to get there. That night was a bit of a blur. They will be at this address. If they aren’t in the hotel bar, their room is 36 on the ground floor. I can’t keep this from them anymore.”

“Don’t feel pushed into telling them all now if you don’t feel ready Frey. They will understand.”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it if I don’t do it now Dan. I’d be grateful if you tried to help me. I’ll be waiting in the usual place. I’ll see you before I leave for Vegas, okay?”

After what Freya had told him that morning, Daniel knew he had to do his best to help his friend. She deserved all the happiness in the world. If it didn’t work out, he had assumed that she would return back home to New York and he would be there to support her as he always had done. He began to clean the bar, when the doors swung open.

“Daniel! Where’s Jono?”

“Drake? Hi.”

Shit. What is he doing here? Has Freya backed out of her plan?

Just then a beautiful lady smiled at Daniel. His heart sank.

“Hi. My names Hana. Have you seen Freya?” She asked softly.

“Hi Hana. I’m Daniel. I haven’t seen her since this afternoon. I met her for an hour earlier on. She er... she.”

“Is she okay?” Maxwell asked, his lip began to tremble.

“Er, why don’t you guys take a seat I’ll get you all a drink.”

Drake, Liam, Maxwell and Hana all sat down in the same booth that the gentlemen did that night. If Daniel didn’t have a date that night, none of them would have met Freya.

“Thank you Daniel. My names Liam and this is Maxwell. Is she okay? I’m worried that this may be all my fault?”

Daniel put his head down. He knew exactly what Liam meant. Liam had confessed that he would have proposed to Freya earlier on this morning and that he was considering asking her to become a Duchess. Of course he would think that there was a possibility that it was his fault. She had told Daniel she was distant with all her friends when she dropped of the spontaneous letter, not meaning to be she was just thinking about her parents as well as her past and her new beginnings.

Daniel felt bad knowing the truth as to why she didn’t meet them and the guilt when he saw these four people worrying about her. He didn’t want Freya to push them away because she was only used to Daniel and his family caring for her once Grace and Paul had passed away.

“Liam. It’s not your fault. She er. She.” They all looked at him worried and confused- waiting impatiently for him to elaborate.

“She had things she had to do. Things she always did when she lived here.” Maxwell looked extremely upset and started to think.

Things she always did when she lived here? Is she missing it here? Did I drag her away from a family? From more friends? From a life?

“I finish at seven. I will elaborate then. Okay?” They all nodded in unison, wondering what he was keeping from them. Drake walked over to the bar to order another round, Daniel was due to finish in ten minutes. Daniel poured a whiskey, a scotch and two cocktails. Whilst he was doing this Drake whispered to him.

“Hey Daniel, what are you keeping from us? We just want to know that she’s okay? Why is she thinking about not coming back with us? If so we’d like to say goodbye at least.”

“Drake it’s nothing like that. I swear. It’s not my business to tell you what we did in that hour but I feel like I need to betray Frey and show you all.”

“What do you mean betray her?”

“Oh drake.. She..had to visit some people. I will take you all there. There’s something you all need to see. Is a lady called Olivia with you all? I think she needs to see this too?”

Olivia? Wtf is going on?

“Er yeah. She is. I’ll text her to come now.”

Daniel hated doing this. But if Freya wasn’t going to open up to her friends he would help her.

Please don’t hate me Freya. I’m doing this because I care for you. No one will judge you. We all love you.

[marmolady]

“It’s his favourite movie...”

Book/Series: Endless Summer

Main Pairings: Estela x MC/Taylor (f)

Summary: Post-ending (Endless ending). Recalling a most intriguing creation of Rourke’s from the Endless’ memories, what kind of friend would Taylor be if she didn’t indulge Diego in some well-intentioned Freaky Friday shenanigans?

Warnings: Coarse language, sexual references. A lot of silliness. Much stupidity. 

Word Count: 5518

Tagging: @brightpinkpeppercorn @sceptilemasterr @bbaba-yagaa@edgydepressedchoicesthot @endlesssummerfan @blightarts @princessstellaris @acidsugar0 @taramitch96

“You’re telling me you’ve never seen Freaky Friday? What have you even been doing with your life?”

“Taking out fascist dictators and demanding justice for good people. What have you been doing with your life?”

Diego spluttered. It seemed someone had forgotten to put on her sense of humour when she got up in the morning.

“That’s what I thought. So, are you gonna tell me what you two are up to?” Estela looked from one suspicious face to the other. She’d caught Diego and Taylor whispering in a corner, talking about some movie and looking extremely shifty.

Taylor took out the device and handed it to her. “This thing I picked up from MASADA. It’s basically a body swap machine. It can put the mind of one person in someone else’s body.”

The grin had returned to Diego’s face, the anticipation all too much for him. “Basically, it makes for the best prank in history. We’ve just gotta pick our targets and -boom!- Freaky Friday time! And that, my friend, is how you win April Fools’ Day.”

Estela raised an eyebrow. “And you think this thing actually works? If Rourke had a weapon like that, why wouldn’t he use it?”

“What? No! It’s not a weapon! Taylor, she’s taking the fun out of it…”

Taylor shrugged. “Well, she’s got a point. In the wrong hands, this could be really dangerous. But I think Rourke made it just for fun. When I saw it used in the Endless’ memories, Aleister said it was his favourite movie.”

“I found the DVD in the VIP lounge, and it’s had some serious playback. Rourke was a psycho and all that, but even he had to nurture his inner movie nerd.”

“So, it worked in this alternate timeline you saw?”

“Yup,” Taylor nodded. “And we’re being careful. I checked with IRIS. She says it’s fully functional and ready to go. We’ve just got to test it out and get the hang of using it.”

Diego’s hand shot up in the air. “I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!”

Estela gave him a look that dashed his hopes and dreams in a second. “Nope. I don’t trust you with my body or the body of the woman I sleep with every night. Besides… that’s my line.”

“I love you, Diego, but I don’t really wanna get stuck married to you either,” Taylor admitted.

Crestfallen, he sighed. “Well, I guess that makes sense. So, you guys are gonna…?”

Estela frowned, but nodded. “Of the possible worst-case scenarios, that would be the least screwed up.” She looked at Taylor with an expression that could only be read as, I hope you know, you owe me big for this.

“Haha! I am gonna be so hot!” Taylor laughed as she saw her wife’s cheeks go a little pink. It was all too easy, but she loved having that effect on Estela. “Come on, let’s do this thing.”

Diego took the device and began to fiddle with it. “Okay, this should be on ‘safety mode’, so you’ll be able to see that you’re in range of the machine. Just make sure you stay in the glowy area, and I’ll have you switched in no time.”

Taylor took Estela’s hand with a playful smile. “Aren’t you so glad you checked in on what shenanigans we were up to?”

“I’d rather be on the inside than one of your victims, so yeah. But tonight, we get to do something I want to do, all right?”

“Thankfully our favourite night-time activities tend to align.” Taylor gave a cheeky wink. “Better hope we don’t get stuck…”

There was a small flash.

“Did it work?” asked Diego, shaking with anticipation. There had been no need, the looks on their faces told him all he needed to know.

Taylor, or at least, a person who looked like Taylor, wore an expression that would have been appropriate should she have been clubbed over the head.

‘Estela’ burst out laughing. “What’s that face for? You look cute! This is so weird…”

Estela, who looked rather like Taylor, shook herself, trying to avoid eye contact with her partner. Being stared at by your own face was creepy as all hell. “I don’t like it.”

Diego, in contrast, was jumping up and down, clapping his hands. “Why am I not filming this? If it wasn’t for the accent, we could have seen how long we could fool everyone!”

“Uh, the accent and the fact that ‘I’ve’ suddenly acquired a resting bitch face. Besides, then the jig will be up before we can indulge in some well-placed mischief.”

“How are you not more creeped out by this?”

Taylor shrugged her shoulders… Estela’s shoulders?... whatever. “I guess I’ve already seen myself through the memories the Endless gave me. And, you know, looked at the Endless. I’m pretty unflappable with the weird and wonderful these days. But maybe we should switch back… just so we know it works. I feel like this is gonna be awkward in the bedroom if we’re stuck like this.”

Estela shuddered. “God! Please.”

Pouting, Diego fiddled with the device. “You people are no fun at all. But as unofficial sponsor of your romantic relationship, I guess I’ll zap you back.”

There was another flash. Seeing Taylor --as Taylor-- in front of her, Estela pulled her into a hug.

“Thank fuck,” she said. Releasing her wife, who was doubled over laughing, she roughly took the device out of Diego’s hands. “It’s not that I don’t trust you with this, but…”

“Welp, there goes the brightest spot in my life…”

“I’m gonna tell Varyyn you said that-“

“Wha- No! Taylor!”

“So,” Estela stashed the device in the inside of her hoodie. “What’s your plan?”

  Before sun-up on April Fools’ Day morning. A positively giddy Diego was let into Taylor and Estela’s suite.

“So, we’re 100% set on our targets?” Taylor queried.

Diego shrugged. “I’m still all for a hotel-wide complete mix-up, but I guess this is fine.”

“Right. You keep an eye on the surveillance cameras, and if you’re sure they’re both asleep, give us a call over the radio, and Estela goes in.”

“Wait- won’t their door be locked?”

“Estela has the master key. Obviously.”

Diego looked at Estela with his mouth hanging open. “When did you get that?”

“The day we arrived.” Estela shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s a lot easier to search the place when you can get into every room.”

‘It’s nice to get a little reminder to always stay a tiny bit scared of you…”

Sometime later, Taylor and Diego waited in the atrium, having overseen Estela’s successful zapping of a sleeping Craig and Zahra. Diego would be switched too, for he would have it no other way, but wanting to be surprised, he decided that the unsuspecting victim should be whichever unfortunate person wandered downstairs first. And then there was Raj, strolling down to make breakfast.

“Taylor! Kitchen- kitchen, now!” Diego spluttered, and the two of them ran to lay their trap.

While Diego stood by the stovetop, doing his best attempt at nonchalance, Taylor lurked behind the solid counter, out of view from the doorway. She waited for her target to step into the room and then, adrenaline pumping through her, she activated the device.

For a moment, Raj -in Diego’s body- blinked rapidly and swayed on the spot, his eyes on his on form which was inexplicably standing before him. Instinctively, he reached for his pocket, only to find he was wearing Diego’s pants. “Where’s my…?” he mumbled.

Diego, trying not to squeal with excitement, pulled a packet out of Raj’s pocket and handed it to ‘himself’. “Maybe you should lay off that stuff for a while…”

“Yeah… yeah, I think I’ll sleep this one off…” Staggering a little, he turned back towards the door. “Thanks, Raj!” he called to Diego.

With Raj gone, Taylor came out from behind the counter. “Huh. That was kind of a non-event,” she said. “Though, to be fair, this being a weird drug trip is more believable than ‘got zapped by a Freaky Friday machine’.”

Standing by the reflective surface of the shiny metal fridge, Diego did a twirl. “Taylor, look! I’ve been Freaky Friday-ed!”

Estela stepped into the room and scowled. “You switched with Raj? There goes breakfast…”

Diego immediately deflated. “Ah.”

“And where is he?”

“Uh… back to bed I think…” It suddenly occurred to Diego that he’d better keep an eye on where his body was actually going.

“Hey, I’ll go after him,” said Taylor quickly. “If he sees himself chasing after him, he might do a runner. You can, uh… make breakfast?”

She made a beeline for Raj’s room and hammered on the door. Furball made an appearance, watching her with curiosity. “Raj, my man, you in there? It’s Taylor- just checking in, nothing to worry about.” Crap, girl, could you sound any more suspicious?

For several more minutes she banged on the door, until she was joined by Estela.

“Estela-“ Taylor hissed. “I don’t think he’s in there! Where would he go? He can’t just disappear with Diego’s body…”

Estela’s brow furrowed. This piece of harmless mischief was turning out to be more trouble than it was worth. She made a mental note not to leave Taylor and Diego unsupervised with each other for too long in the future. “He’d just woken up, he wouldn’t have gone far.” She threw the master key to Taylor. “Check he’s not in there and just completely out of it. I’ll keep an eye out for Craig and Zahra getting up.”

Leaving Taylor to search for Raj, Estela sat down and waited. Zahra wasn’t much of a sleeper- she’d be rummaging in the kitchen seeking out coffee soon enough. Or she would have been if she were herself… in Craig’s body, she was probably blissfully unconscious. With that in mind, Craig was probably already awake, but Estela suspected he’d be slow on the uptake.

A skittering of tiny claws on tile suddenly caught her attention. Trusting her gut feeling, Estela stood up and followed the footsteps into the lobby. There was Furball, bouncing around merrily, holding in his jaws… the device.

“How did you…?” Goddammit, Diego! Having left the device with him in the kitchen, it seemed the idiot had been distracted enough by his situation to let his guard down dangerously low. Estela approached cautiously, giving a low whistle to try and entice the fox closer.

Furball eyed her suspiciously, and readjusted his hold on his exciting prize. All he knew was, this weird metal box was interesting to the humans, so it had to be something good.

Then, strolling in from the atrium came Grace, greeting the day cheerily as ever.

“Good morning!” she said brightly.

“Uh, hi,” Estela replied after a long silence, preoccupied as she was with getting at Furball, who’d turned out to be a slippery little creature. As she reached for him, he scampered underneath a table and chewed on the device with gusto. “Furball!” she hissed, crawling after him. “Drop that!”

There was a bright flash, and a loud stream of fruity language.

‘Estela’, or rather, Grace, stood up, an expression of frightened confusion on her face. “Wh-what happened?” Her eyes grew wide as they laid on… herself?

“Get hold of the fox!”

But Furball had taken off at a run. Estela took Grace’s hand and hurtled after him. In the rush, Grace tripped and fell, and in the time it took Estela to pull her to her feet, the quick fox had vanished.

Estela huffed. This was just excellent.

  Having had no luck finding Raj in his room, Taylor was on a mission. The elevator door buzzed open, and standing inside were none other than her first victims, making her all but jump out of her skin.

“Look who it is,” ‘Craig’ said, his tone uncharacteristically icy. “Our friend, Taylor.”

“Hello, you two!” Taylor cried, excessively enthusiastic. “How are you this morning? Sleep well?”

Receiving a hard nudge from ‘Craig’, ‘Zahra’ spoke. “Uh… I never sleep well,” she said. “I’ve got that… not… sleeping… thing.”

‘Craig’s’ gaze was pointedly on Taylor, searching for weakness. “Obviously, I could sleep through the apocalypse…”

“-That’s not true!-“

“But Z was awake. Noticed a disturbance. So… any reason why your wife might have been creeping around our room at four in the morning?”

Taylor contorted her face into an expression that she believed to portray sweet innocence. How successful she was could be debated.

“You must have dreamed it. She has a way of getting inside people’s heads… it might be the staring, to be honest… I should talk to her about that…”

‘Craig’s’ eyes narrowed, while ‘Zahra’ was looking over herself with an air of amusement, poking and prodding her own body with clear fascination. She was taken by surprise as ‘Craig’ smacked her over the head.

“Hey! That’s not fair; you’re bigger than me!”

Taylor couldn’t hide her smirk. “Is something the matter? You two… don’t look like you’re feeling yourselves.” Oh god, Zahra is actually gonna murder me.

“Actually-“ ‘Zahra’ began, before receiving an elbow in the ribs. “You know you’re only hurting yourself?”

“Worth it. And shut your dumbass face.”

“It’s your…”

A look was all it took to silence ‘Zahra’. ‘Craig’ cleared his throat and continued to stare Taylor down. Clearly, she was behind it, but she stood firm under what should have been a withering gaze.

To Taylor’s relief, the elevator touched down in the atrium, saving her from a glare so scorching it would have impressed Estela. And then, there she was, just outside the elevator as it opened up.

“Oh, good morning!” she said shakily, a look of nervous confusion on her face.

Immediately, ‘Craig’ surged forwards. “I don’t know what you did to us, but you’ve got an hour to fix this bullshit or…”

‘Estela’ cowered away, eyes wide with fear. “Please- I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no…” Taylor stammered. There was no way on earth that was Estela.

After the briefest moment of realisation, Zahra and Craig roared with laughter.

“Ah, Tayls, ain’t karma a bitch?”

Taylor ignored them, focused instead on the poor imitation of her wife. “Shit…” She rubbed her forehead, thinking that she’d need a stiff drink before the day was out… and Estela would be needing an even bigger one. “…Okay… who am I talking to?”

“Grace,” came the meek reply, which was met with howls of mirth.

“Oh, Grace! I’m sorry! Wh-where’s Estela?”

“She went after Furball; he ran off with your body swap machine.”

“Wait, what?” Taylor’s eyes bulged; the device… Diego had hold of it… surely, he’d not been so careless?  “Double shit. Shit, shit, shit…”

Quick on the uptake, Zahra, who was in Craig’s body, grabbed him by the hand… her own hand?... and pulled him along after her.

“Hey- you can’t just run off!” Taylor protested, falling on conveniently deaf ears.

Zahra paused momentarily to give her a sly grin, something which looked rather bizarre on Craig’s face. “We’re going fox hunting. And just a warning, Tayls, my good friend, when I get hold of your body swap machine, you are screwed.”

As Taylor made to chase after them, raucous shouts rang out from the kitchen. “Diego!”

She turned and bolted to the sound of the kerfuffle, to find Diego-in-Raj-form cowering behind a worktop while his own likeness angrily waved a frying pan at him. Upon seeing Taylor, Raj-in-Diego-form pointed the pan accusingly at ‘himself’.

“Taylor, you’ve gotta help me… it’s an imposter! I thought it was me, that I was just tripping- I’ve seen that before. But then I smelled it- whatever that thing is burned our breakfast! That’s not me… that’s not me…”

“Raj…”

He kept on muttering to himself. “I’ve seen some weird stuff on this island, dude, but an evil-breakfast-burning twin… nah, it’s too much… too much, dude…”

“Hey! That’s not an evil twin. That’s Diego. Have you looked at yourself?”

“Die-wha?” Confused, Raj looked down, then back at Diego. “Ohhhh. Huh. That’s new.”

Diego hung his head. “Sorry about breakfast. When I Freaky Friday-ed us, I forgot that I’m like the guy in Ratatouille who can’t cook- but I don’t have a cooking genius rat to save me.”

A little stunned, Raj looked at his reflection in the door of the shiny, metallic refrigerator, watching his movements taking place in Diego’s body as a vessel, fascinated.

“Happy April Fools’ Day, Raj!” Diego cried, now confident that he wouldn’t have his friend’s lucky pan lobbed at his head. “Did we bring it, or did we bring it?”

“You most definitely brought it, my friend! Except for breakfast. That’s the saddest thing I’ve smelled in months. It’s borderline offensive, and you created it while wearing my innocent face.”

Taylor could breathe a sigh of relief. One missing person, found. If it wasn’t for the unfortunate Grace-Estela incident, the missing device, and the fact that a dangerously beefed-up Zahra was now on the warpath, she might call the ‘harmless’ prank a success.

“Right,” she said, “why don’t the two of you stay here, and fix breakfast up. I know Diego’s crap, but he doesn’t need a cooking genius rat… he has a cooking genius Raj.”

Her companions looked at her with wonderment.

“He’s not gonna sit on my head and…?”

“No, you dope. Raj is gonna follow you around offering advice and marijuana. Just… roll with it.”

Taylor left them to it, satisfied that she’d put out at least one of the fires she and Diego had unleashed. By the time she returned to the atrium, though, Zahra and Craig were long gone, and Grace was nowhere to be found either.

  Estela had tracked Furball all around the lower floor of the hotel, getting close only to have him shoot out icicles defensively the second he felt she was too close to getting hold of his new toy. Furball was quick, and Estela’s new body was unfortunately, rather a downgrade in the physical fitness department, and not nearly as agile as what she was used to. Finding herself out of breath, the little fox seemed to find it all a great game, throwing out streaks of ice as he gambolled through the Celestial. Estela was patient, though. If the fox kept that up, he’d soon become dehydrated; she’d just keep on his tail until he could no longer put up a fight. It was simple, or at least it would be if she could just be left to get the job done.

“Grace?” Aleister called from the lobby. “Are you coming for breakfast?”

Wincing, Estela cursed her own misfortune. Of all the people the damn fox could have switched her with… and, of course, Furball was trotting right towards the sound of the voice. Little shit.

Aleister’s face brightened as he laid eyes on Estela. “Ah, there you are, my dear-”

“I’m busy.”

Taken aback by her abruptness, he immediately became concerned. “Anything I can help w-“

“No.”

As Grace came into the room, it occurred to Estela that she might not appreciate outright hostility towards her lover. Her gaze pointedly averted from her brother’s simpering one, Estela at least made an effort.

“You should… go enjoy… breakfast. Sweetheart.” Feeling as though she might throw up, she turned to see a most horrifically sappy expression on her own face. She shuddered. If the experience had been creepy before, this was something else…

A hand touched her arm, and she impulsively swung a fist round, colliding with Aleister’s startled face.

“I said ‘go’!”

He ran.

“Estela, you can’t just hit him!”

“Sometimes, you’ve gotta be cruel to be kind. I think all three of us will be less traumatised by this fiasco if I can make him stay away. I do not need him trying to stick his tongue down my throat. Besides, it wasn’t as if I could hit him hard, not with these fists.”

With Aleister safely out of the way for the time being, she could resume her pursuit of Furball, now with Grace around to guard potential escape routes.

“Just make sure we don’t lose the fox, and don’t let him get near water. Sooner or later, he’ll give up, and we can fix this. In the meantime, can you please not look at Aleister like that while you’re wearing my face.”

Disturbed by his encounter with ‘his girlfriend’, Aleister wandered towards the restaurant looking appropriately punch-drunk, when he bumped into a rather frazzled Taylor.

“Sorry- could I… borrow you for just a minute?”

“Al, I’m really, really busy. Is it important?”

He scowled. “Do I make a habit of seeking help from you people? Yes, it’s important!”

Taylor raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… Grace. I’ve done something wrong. I can’t for the life of me think what, but she’s absolutely furious, and it’s something I’ve done. Taylor, she looked at me as if I was a leper…”

“You know, I think Grace is the sort of person who’d be kind to the sick and downtrodden…”

“You’re missing the point! Taylor, you’re skilled at handling… people problems…”

“Okay. Grace isn’t feeling herself today. It’s nothing personal-“

“She punched me in the face.”

“Uh, wrong place, wrong time.” Taylor was not fool enough not to realise that their April Fool’s prank would not appeal to Aleister’s sense of humour… certainly not once he’d been socked in the face by his supposed lover. “This isn’t a good time for her.”

A lightbulb appeared to go off in Aleister’s head. “Are you saying that this is a… er… delicate… ladies’… issue?”

Eh, that’ll do. Can’t be pinned on me, can’t be blamed on himself. “Yeah… something like that. Just give her a little space.”

“Are you sure? I always thought it was at such a time when attentiveness was…”

“Aleister! I told you, I’m busy. There are, like, five other people in this hotel who you can chat menstruation with. Find one of them- but not Grace. Leave her alone, okay? You’ll thank me for that piece of advice.”

She made a move before he could protest. Jesus Christ on a cracker… Well, at least Diego’s having fun.

Diego was, indeed, having fun. It turned out, making breakfast was a lot less stressful once you’d smoked a couple of joints. If he was to pull off a morning as Raj, he was going to do it properly. Now rather more relaxed, and finding himself singing for no apparent reason, he fried up the eggs, wild mushrooms, and giant La Huerta peccary bacon to near perfection under the guidance of his mentor. For his part, Raj was having a whale of a time now that his imposter was no longer seemingly intent on sabotaging his culinary reputation.

A voice came over the intercom… Taylor’s voice.

“We are experiencing a small crisis situation. All residents, please gather in the restaurant where breakfast will be served as normal. Please don’t freak out- all will be resolved shortly. Just… go eat breakfast.”

“Ohmygod!” Diego cried. “An emergency? We’re all gonna die! This is gonna be our least meal- I can’t handle that kind of pressure!” He took a long drag of his joint, and his expression slackened.

“Maybe this is the end…” Raj put a hand on Diego’s shoulder. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. And I say we go out in a blaze of breakfast!”

“Did you just Gandalf me?”

“I’m Diego now, of course I Gandalfed you!”

Diego put a hand over his heart, touched. “You are me! And look at this breakfast… I’m you! This is just…” he sniffed… “so beautiful…”

“Aw, dude… you’ve got so much bottled up in here. Worry, anxiety… you need to get it all out! See, this could be the therapy the world always needed. Isn’t that what Freaky Friday’s all about? Improving your relationships and becoming the best you by seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.”

“Holy epiphany Batman! You’re right!” Diego wiped a tear from his eye. “I’m gonna go out there and serve breakfast like the Raj I am.”

Raj sniffed. “I’m so proud… I love you, dude!”

“I love you too, dude!”

When Taylor returned to the kitchen, both men were lying on the floor, watching a fly buzz around above their heads, rapt.

“Er… everyone okay in here?”

“Taylor, I’m better than okay- I’m Raj…” Diego murmured. “…Look how pretty that fly is… It doesn’t have expectations to meet… It’s just doin’ its thing… like a fly… flying… bzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

“Yes. Yes, it is. All right down there, Raj?”

Raj’s eyes crossed as they tried to follow the fly as it landed on his nose. “I understand everything… we all need to escape… whether we’re getting stoned and watching pretty bugs… or getting lost in a fictional world… we’ve gotta escape, my dudes… we’ve all gotta escape…”

“…Wooooow, we really are the same… bzzzzzzzzzz….”

Something told Taylor that neither of them would be much help. “Right,” she said. “Thankfully, everyone who we haven’t brain-zapped is still in the restaurant finishing breakfast. Thank you, by the way. You two make a surprisingly effective team… or, you did… might be too far gone now. But I should be able to wrap up this fiasco with no more unintended participants being dragged in.”

  Furball ran, tripping up over the device that was fast becoming heavy in his small jaws. He skidded out to the poolside and hid in the bushes, Estela hot on his heels, Grace futilely holding out food as a bribe, and Craig following along with interest.

“He’s getting dehydrated- just don’t let him get in the pool-“

Craig’s, or rather Zahra’s eyes grew wide. “Does Furball multiply if he gets wet?”

Estela turned and gave him a look. If there had been any doubt that they’d switched, it was now gone. “Craig, can you grab hold of him? I dunno… pretend he’s a ball or something. That’s what you do, right?”

“I do. But I’m Z now. I feel like I should just stand here with a face like this…” Craig pulled the most exaggerated scowling face he could muster. He pulled out his phone. “I’ll get it all on video… look at me with your best Estela face… yep, just like that!”

Grace, at least, understood the gravity of the situation. “Please, we have to be careful… if Furball drops that in the water, we could be stuck…”

“Grace- Grace! Say ‘Aleister has a sexy ass’ for the camera…”

“No… I- Craig, please don’t antagonise her…”

“What’s she gonna do? She’s in your body. You stole her Ferrari and left her driving a Volvo. I know the feeling… now Z’s got the brawn and the brains… what does that make me…?”

Furball darted out, making a dash for the cover of a deck chair… and heading dangerously close to the water.

“Fuck,” said Estela with Grace’s voice, amusing Craig immensely.

By that point, a curious audience had gathered by the window. Seeing Grace outside, in the midst of an announced crisis, Aleister had no choice but to throw caution to the wind and bring her back to the restaurant -at least until Taylor explained what the hell was going on.

He hurriedly strode over, heading for the person who appeared to be his girlfriend... and ignoring the frantic head-shaking warning from the actual Grace.

“Grace, I…”

“Nope!” Not today, Satan. Estela had had just about enough. She shoved him with all of Grace’s might, sending him flying backwards into the pool.

Fully clothed and utterly bewildered, Aleister hit the water with a colossal splash that brought everyone who hadn’t gathered at the window rushing to watch.

“Chyeeeaaahhh boi!!! Caught! On! Film!” Craig went to high five Grace, but she was too busy rushing to the aid of the unfortunate Aleister.

In the ruckus, Furball bolted- straight into Zahra’s arms… or Craig’s, actually. Startled, the fox dropped the device, and a smug Zahra looked from one panicked face to another.

Taylor burst outside, her eyes round.

Smirking, Zahra inspected her new toy. “C’mere, Craiggers, first thing’s first.”

“Z- I got Grace on video saying ‘fuck’!”

Poor Aleister was still flailing in the water, fighting as Grace tried to pull him up, apparently convinced that ‘Estela’ was trying to drown him.

A few twiddling of buttons, and a bright flash that was visible even in the warm sunshine.

Craig reached down and touched his own chest, dropping the device into Zahra’s waiting hands. “Aw, man, I’m back… Dope trick, Taylor!”

“…Thanks, Craig…” Taylor replied nervously.

Zahra watched with satisfaction as her spectators squirmed. “Yeah… dope trick, Taylor.” She let the device fall to her feet with a metallic clunk. And then she brought her foot down on it, hard.

Grace dropped Aleister unceremoniously back into the water. Taylor gave a strangled yell as Estela looked at her with pure horror. At the window, Raj and Diego cheered… and then Diego went back to doing his fly impression.

“Zahra! Are you out of your mind?”

There was a spluttering sound as Aleister once again tried to haul himself out of the pool. “Will someone please tell me what in the name of sanity is going on?”

Her face a picture of sweet triumph, Zahra dipped her hand into Craig’s jacket pocket, and pulled out a second Freaky Friday device.

“April Fools’, bitches. I won, right?”

  The Freaky Friday Incident would no doubt go down in lore, at least if the buzz that followed was anything to go by. All who contributed to the creation of such chaos were lauded as April Fools’ heroes, and most who’d been ill-effected were now seeing the humour in the situation. Appreciating the genius of the original prank, Zahra bestowed the second device, which she’d found in Rourke’s V.I.P. room after having quizzed Iris, to a still totally stoned Diego.  Craig’s precious video of Aleister being walloped into the pool by ‘Grace’ was playing on almost constant repeat, to the victim’s increasing annoyance. From Aleister, Taylor and an oblivious Diego received a long and thorough ear-bashing.

Finally set free from a tedious and angry lecture on the dangers of such childish pranks, Taylor wandered back to the restaurant, catching the last of her friends as they dispersed. Out of the corner of her eye, she was certain she’d seen Zahra fiddling with the original, broken device while she walked out towards the pool with Craig. She shook it off. The thing was smashed up, caput. Zahra might be a genius, but that machine was beyond repair… wasn’t it?

Taylor’s brief concern was forgotten the second she laid eyes on Estela. Their spot of mischief hadn’t exactly gone to plan, but all was well that ended well.

She ran to her, a broad grin across her face, and took her in her arms with a heady kiss.

“Holy shit, Princess! The hell ya doin?”

Her blood running cold in an instant, Taylor jumped back as if zapped by a bolt of electricity, her hands flying to her face. “Jake?! Ohmygod… holy crap… hooooly crap… I didn’t… oh shit, oh shit…”

Unable to keep a straight face any longer, Estela collapsed into uncontrollable giggles.

“Estela!” Taylor repeatedly smacked her wife over the head as she cried with laughter. Slowly, her body recovered from the shock, and she almost saw the funny side. “There’s a special place in hell for people like you! I think I almost had a heart attack…”

Estela slid onto the floor, clutching her sides and clearly not remotely sorry. This, Taylor supposed, was fair payback for dragging her into the whole mess to begin with. With her heartrate recovering, she began to laugh, and took her lover in her arms.

“When did you learn to do a southern accent, anyway?”

Estela wiped her eyes, high on the simple feeling of being back to normal… and no longer having to look at herself making goo-goo eyes at Aleister. She peppered Taylor’s face with kisses. “To see that look on your face? You’d be amazed what I could do.”

Shaking her head; relieved and only a little exasperated, Taylor made a show of studying Estela’s face carefully. “You’re you?”

“I’m me. And I’m confiscating Diego’s toy and throwing it in the volcano. Never again…”

Taylor giggled and hugged her. “Do it now, while Diego’s still high as a kite.”

“Or…” Estela ran a finger slowly up her wife’s thigh. “you can start working off that debt you owe me for helping you with all this Freaky Friday nonsense. My fees are high -especially after Aleister started following me around with heart eyes. But… I figured you wouldn’t mind paying in instalments?”

“Just one thing... “

“Hmmm?”

“If you do another Jake impersonation while you’ve got your head between my legs, I swear I will divorce your ass.”

With a snort, Estela doubled over once more, before coming up to peck a kiss to Taylor’s nose. “You’ve got a deal, mi amor.”

[seenashwrite]

Conversations With The Commissioner: Crappy Monsters In Barber Shops, a.k.a. Nash's First Headcanon + Wine = The Image I’ll Never Be Able To Top

@lipstickandwhiskey kindly thought to tag me when she saw a jovial post that reminded her of my disappointment in the lack of dinosaurs in the *alternate world and hoped to cheer me, but little did she know [mainly because I completely brain farted on posting this way-back-when] this had been addressed. In an objectively bizarre way. Admittedly.

FYI: Spit-take warning in effect, also cursing, should you choose to carry on

Preamble

* Dear SPN Writers' Room*: I'm not calling it The Bad Place, because I'm done with y'all ripping from other stuff, in this case, a beyond phenomenal show - hey! you do recognize carefully crafted season arcs when you see it! - even if y'all thought it was a homage, it's not since viewers of the show "The Good Place" already know about The Bad Place and it's not a physical nightmare, it's a psychological nightmare.

Pay. Attention. Stop ripping from well-known pop culture shit without (1) making sure the “homage” is used correctly, (2) double-checking that something similar hasn't been done before and, if so, (3) adding your own cheeky-sneaky spin. Not doing so makes you look, at best, like hacks, at worst, like doofy dipshits, particularly when it is from shows in your same genre - like a renowned show from the same fucking network that hadn't even ended their run but a year and a half prior to when yours started - and wrapping up *your* season with a title that was an iconic element from an iconic show [it was iconic, for several reasons, that's an essay for another time] which was the basis for everything from a/possibly *the* pivotal moment in the series and which was tied to many of the composer's pieces for the soundtrack, as it was a central thread. TV Tropes is your friend.

Tangentially related, while we're here:

[Shep as Romo Lampkin]

I digress.  

The Background

The Commissioner and I pop a cork, start talking about the Wayward pilot. We don't say a word about the scripting or the acting [because if we do, I go down a Dolly Deadeyes road, and nobody wants that]. Rather, we do a deep dive on the things that resemble other things and postulate how this came to be. Not in the minds of the peeps behind it, no, the dive comes via what the youths call a "headcanon". I've never had one before, I don't think, and I'm proud this is the first.

Oh, and a housekeeping side note: While my observations/the conversing began that night, the main convo/legit start on the image at the bottom happened later on. This has been run through the Nash snark filter for funsies, which is why the tone is the same for the whole conversation as, in truth, I have little clear memory of a lot of this, and the time taken for the assemblage of the image took longer than a conversation's worth, since the beginnings were sponsored by wine but it had to be done, it's how I combat insomnia and after seeing the monsters, I needed to purge my feelings of.... well....

The Beginning

After a verbal review (an accosting-of, really) of both Well-Coiffed Predator in a Bane Mask and Dollar Store Doomsday from the Wayward pilot, we begin discussing theories on how exactly this came to be in the alt world. Everything below is based on (a) the fact that New!Kaia's outfit denotes the presence of some sort of killa shopping and/or a hella talented Matrix-obsessed seamstress in the alt-world, therefore why not additional styling like a salon, and (b) the fact that we were lit on wine.

And the Predator rip - who, in the concept art, does not appear rippy-offy, it should be noted - got that mask somehow. He's either homaging Bane all over his face [his own face, not the other-way-'round] or he's gotten hold of one of the real things, modded it a touch to account for the spread of his general mouth region. Seems their temp name is the generic supernatural/folklore catch-all that I was vaguely aware of - "Canid" - and that some dude who's apparently of import on the show hates it, and I concur because all I can think of when I see the name is Candida. The Commissioner asked for a reminder, and I explained what that infection was and that now upon learning the creature’s name, I looked upon it as a yeast infection made sentient. The copious amounts of viscous discharge helps that along.

This then got a general science light bulb to pop, and we again consulted the googles, and boo-yah:

It's a dog. That. That up there, that I linked to. A daaaawwwwg.

No, not a if-this-is-a-dog-then-what-does-the-owner-look-like, maybe-they're-just-disgruntled-puppy-mill-alums type of WTF. The WTF is because I, once again, am wondering if at any point people over yonder are bothering to check shit out with this cool new thing called google. I know. It's a novel suggestion.

Somebody sure as shit used said googlins for squid beak - it's a touch birdy beak, but nah, slimy squid goes better with the aesthetic - and I guess they had to, as they already gave the far superior on the creepy scale pacu teeth to the Dollar Store Doomsday.

Because we were sneery and feeling gross at this point, we needed something fun, so we refilled on wine, and decided to make a mash-up image of the “inspirations” [to be clear: The Commissioner decided I should make a mash-up]. We were also feeling gross after looking at all that above, so for an eye sorbet, we needed some pretty, and STAT. We both instantly knew what would do the trick.

We start the conversation with Bane.

The Conversation

[looking at still from that Batman movie Bane was in; neither of us have cared to clarify which of the Nolan B-mans it was, because we don't care]

The Commissioner: He is so smooth, like, everything, even the fit of the clothes.

Nash: I'll never forget his turn as young Picard in that shit 'Trek movie, what was it called?

[we do not look it up; digression discussion of the awesomeness that is Sir Patrick Stewart]

TC: What's in his hand? Is that a riding crop? Or a shuffleboard thing?

N: Yes, exactly, Bane took a break from beating up Batman to shuffle. Nooooo. He got drug away from riding his horsey----

TC: YOU MUST MEAN HIS STALLION - if he rides horses, they are buff

N: ---to bring the mask, and is he pissed about it?

TC: No. No, because he is a dollbaby - he loves dogs.

N: You're mixing Tom Hardy with Bane.

TC: NO.

N: [realizing] BECAUSE THAT IS A DOG THING, THAT CREATURE IS DOG

[digression googles to look at pics/vids of Tom Hardy with pups]

N: Oh, no, wait - can we make it a putter? Like he was on his way to golf?

TC: But he still doesn't mind, because he's good guy Bane? And golf sucks? Oh hell yes.

[putter image sought; we go back to staring at Hardy, sip wine for untold moments]

N: And Preddie's all - Oh Bane, no! I couldn't possibly! Aren't these custom made? But he's gripping the shit out of it, like, pry it from my hands, bitches.

TC: And he takes a sniff when nobody's looking and swoons. *SWOONS*

N: Freaked-out stylist saw, though, and a touch of pee slips out, because it was weird before, but now shit's kicked off.

TC: Oh, she's already wet her pants at least once, absolutely. Do we need to add her?

N: No, she's in the bathroom.

TC: But you know who we should add.

[Image of 1990s Leonardo Di Caprio is immediately sought; we love the R+J still too much for words and select it with zero pause]

N: But why?

TC: You know he's gonna end up bopping  around to other worlds anyhow, and for Bane to be here, there must be other rifts----

N: Low-Sugar Low-Fat Low-Calorie Eye of Saurons?

TC: ----so they're babysitting.

N: THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE [gulp of wine]  Hey, you know who should be his foster parents if he’s bopping around to all points?

TC: Is it some side-character who's off-show at the moment? So we can get the show back to, um, Sam and Dean?

N: Chuck and Amara.

TC: You remember they're brother and sister, right?

N: [side-eye] Okay.

TC: They are. It's canon.

N: OKAAAY.  [stares at Leo] Alright, what are we having him do? Satan's crotch goblin?

TC: [possibly disgusted with me] Pencils.

N: YES I KNOW WHAT TO DO they need to keep him busy so they just keep giving him piles of pencils to sharpen, and he's distressed because there's no more and the sharpener’s motor burnt out.

TC: [touch of a spit take]

[we stare at the collection of images; it is a bitch to find a clear shot of a Pred sitting, but we need him in a barber chair; I will ultimately cobble it from three separate images; it was worth every goddamn minute]

TC: Okay, now what about that thing? The thing? Deadpool?

N: No he was something else, that's Reynolds. Deadshot? Wait, hang on.

[we watch the Bob Ross Deadpool thing, maybe twice, I have no idea]

TC: What'd you say?

N: I dunno.

TC: Me neither I just remember thinking you were wrong.

N: [looks it up, or we'll be here all week] DOOMSDAY

TC: Stop, stop, stop - didn't we also say Lord of the Rings cave troll?

N: I can't remember if it was me or somebody else.

TC: Do cave troll.

[we search]

N: Holy shit. He's in the club.

[image chosen; best one is of him pointing; I later add the touch of a framed photo of King Kong that's inexplicably hanging in the barber shop, also next to it a photo of Captain Shitty Render]

N: But Doomsday.

TC: Do it.

[image chosen; this was also a bitch, I had to blur and cobble and blend and hide part of his bottom half because ZACK SNYDER LOVES SHOOTING EVERYTHING LIKE WE'RE IN A DANK CAVE]

N: They're so glad Bane pulls through, because Preddy won't shut the fuck up about him.

TC: It's because his last boyfriend was garbage, keeps hanging out with humans, and Bane's loyal, like he was to that chick from Inception, like----

N: LIKE DOG

[the bottle is empty; we are sleepy]

The Results

I regret not adding an aquarium with a squid.

The Aftermath

Both TC and my Tumblr wife @butiaintgonnaloveem had reactions that can nicely tuck under the umbrella of [in concerned tone] Nash are you okay, like, is life beating you down somehow, this is crazypants which I appreciate from the latter, but as for the former I pointed out that they are my enabler/dealer/peer-pressurer in every bit of this.

There is no end to this post. 

[aliciameade]

I was looking for the video you posted on the pp insta and couldn’t find it. Saw that you tagged it as a sponsored post which is interesting because those are targeted so they could be programmed to target specifically bechloe shippers. Interesting move universal. Grateful to have seen it though hope it’s not the only scene we get! Want to think we are looking forward to something too!!

They are likely targeting users who follow certain accounts or have certain online browsing patterns. I haven’t been served it yet - but I did get one with Anna Camp telling me to buy tickets.

They definitely made this for “us” though, and while people are already bitching that this is more queerbaiting, the fact that they saw this community as important enough to create an ad and put money behind it to target us means we’re actually significant enough in numbers to warrant it.

And THAT’S what’s cool about this.

[lottieandlouise]

how to make it in the beauty industry by lou teasdale

From the death of the make-up artist and the rise of the beauty influencer, to cultural appropriation, contouring and boys who love make-up, Lou Teasdale offers some sage advice for all those looking to break into one of the biggest industries in the world.

A post shared by Lou Teasdale (@louteasdale) on Mar 22, 2017 at 3:05am PDT

Lou Teasedale is the make-up artist with the enviable task of keeping the 1D boys looking beautiful. Starting work in the industry 15 years ago, Lou has become one of glammest and most in demand make-up artists working today. She reflects on a changing industry and offers some tips to help guide you through it…

Everyone always asks me how to break into the make-up industry, what steps I took and what advice I can give. Well, how I did it is useless to all of you now because so much has changed. The old school beauty path vs. the new school beauty path isn't the same, but hopefully I can still help. I started my career 15 years ago, when YouTube was just for watching music videos, and the now editors of British Vogue were writing the first fashion blogs on Myspace. There were no beauty tutorials, and contouring was only taught as theatre make-up.

I went to London College of Fashion and studied Fashion Styling and Make-up before going on to work as an assistant. The beginning of most make-up artists' careers consist of over-priced courses, maybe some time as a counter girl for minimum wage, assisting on shoots that you'll get no money for and living in crappy flats in the city desperately hoping to get a break. But from working as an assistant, I managed to join the X Factor glam team, and from there got taken on by One Direction when they signed a record deal.

Fast-forward to 2017 and with Instagram, YouTube and vlogging it's a brand new industry! This generation of make-up artists are self-taught and self-employed, all from their bedrooms. They are more accurately described as "beauty influencers", and they are walking advertisements for both their skills and the products they are using. Selfie culture has introduced a multitude of faces that can move product. The digitalisation of the beauty industry demands that companies use influencers to create brand awareness and sell their products for them. Social media now dominates how we use and understand beauty and lifestyle. Not only that, beauty influencers have the ability to make serious money through sponsored ad posts. Much like when I started, and had to take assisting jobs for free, in the beginning of your beauty influencer career you need to tag loads of products and use tons of hashtags to get your content noticed. Once your profile begins to get traction, brands begin approaching you. Now, they have truly embraced the idea that girls trust their social media feeds more then they trust celebrity-endorsed adverts.

So the question is, in 2017, how do I become a beauty influencer? Here are some tips and tricks to be social media savvy. 

A post shared by Lou Teasdale (@louteasdale) on Mar 20, 2017 at 1:15pm PDT

Content, content, content... We used to have to go "testing". Shooting in our free time, for nothing. And then the only people who saw those shoots were the people we dragged our portfolios around IRL. Long. How hard is it to be constantly curating some easy beauty content for your followers to consume? Your Instagram, YouTube, vlogs, etc. need to be constantly spitting out vids and cool images. And that's easy compared with how we did it. The more, the better. If anyone tells you less is more, check their followers and I bet they have none. Contour your content and keep a consistent aesthetically pleasing theme on your social media pages. Even down to cleaning your tools, no one wants to see a filthy beauty blender on YouTube.

No trolling... Social media is your beauty community. I use it to meet other make-up artists or assistants on shoots and to keep in touch with everyone... but then it's easy to be super nice to real life people. These days you need to be sending love and emojis back and forth on each others tutorials. Be interactive, follow and support each other. 

A post shared by Lou Teasdale (@louteasdale) on Apr 7, 2017 at 8:38am PDT

Basic bitch problems... Social media has demanded that the industry check themselves before every photo shoot, catwalk or selfie. Ten years ago when images of white girls in cornrows or wearing bindis simply graced the pages of Vogue, the reader was silenced and we, the makers of the content, could produce whatever we wanted. By definition, cultural appropriation is the use of the elements of one culture by members of another culture. And the internet is reminding us stealing from other cultures is just not cool. Culture isn't a fashion statement or a beauty moment for us to use as we please. Make sure your content is not offending anyone please!

Brush up on boyfriend make-up...

Boys have been wearing make-up long before David Bowie transformed into Ziggy Stardust, or KISS ever took to the stage, but it seems recently make-up is finally on the way to becoming totally genderless to society. Images online of guys rocking a smokey eye or a bright pink lip better than you has made make-up on boys the new normal. This is not to be confused with the idea that boys wearing make-up is a hot new trend, it's just refreshing to see the internet and the beauty world breaking another barrier between the genders through exposure. Make-up as an art form should never be left just for girls or famous rockstars, and I truly believe it is because of social media that it is becoming more socially and culturally accepted to see make-up on boys. Finally. So don't be afraid to give your feed some gender-bending glam.

Your next IG selfie make-up how to… Prep and clean your face. Mix in a drop of liquid illuminator with your foundation for dat glo. Apply foundation evenly with a wet beauty blender -- wet it loads then ring it out, these are NOT meant to be used dry! With a darker foundation stick, sharply contour your cheekbones, temples, nose and chin with prominent lines. Blend. Contour those cheekbones one more time. With concealer and setting powder, pack that lighter, brighter colour under your eyes. Also, apply lighter colour under cheekbones and middle of the forehead and down the bridge of the nose. Blend. Liquid highlighter and powder highlighter on tops of cheekbones and tip of your nose. Bit more highlighter. Bit of bronzer. With a good pomade, shape and fill your brows. Now eyes (we've only just started you know). Take a warm, rich red / copper colour and apply all over the lid and buff into the crease. Sweep the red under your waterline as well. Take a true gold pigment and dab the pigment onto the centre of the eyelid, making it the focus point of your eye. Grab some falsies and glue them on for that dramatic lash game, Cheryl Cole's are actually surprisingly good. Finish off with mascara on both your falsies and lower lashes. Use a light-brown liner and liquid lipstick to finish the look.

A post shared by Lou Teasdale (@louteasdale) on Nov 24, 2016 at 8:59am PST

Your next Raya date make-up (no make-up make-up) how to… Prep and clean your face. Cover up any spots (don't panic and pop the big one that grew over night) with concealer. Hold tissue to your bleeding spot because you popped it. Take an elixir and mix it in with your foundation. Apply foundation evenly with a wet beauty blender. Conceal under eyes. Lightly contour your cheekbones with a darker powder or bronzer. Lightly apply highlighter to cheekbones and cupids bow. Fill in eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil. In the crease, blend in a nude taupe colour to define your eyes. Apply a couple layers of mascara. Carefully apply red lip liner, fill in with a matte liquid red lip.

Your next festival look where you won't culturally appropriate how to…. Prep and clean your face (make sure it's water in that bottle, not vodka). Apply a tinted SPF moisturiser all over your face. Lightly fill in brows with a pencil. Grab a red eyeshadow (or red lipstick) with lots of pigment and apply all over the lid and crease and under waterline. Apply an iridescent glitter highlighter generously all over your cheekbones. Apply a couple layers of mascara… red mascara is even better. Put your hair in space buns.

[ready-for-tea-time]

Package Thief

Okay, so, Amazon theft is not uncommon. I mean, delivery drivers have a schedule they gotta adhere to so they go to the stop, they drop, bang the door, and run. They don’t got time to make sure you answer the door or that they hide the package for you. Today’s society is too fast for that. So if someone sees a nice lil Amazon package, they’re gonna be like, “shit, I want stuff. I wonder what stuff they got.” Easy pickings. I get it. Not cool, but I get it.

Anyways, I usually don’t have this problem cause, number one, my apartment’s upstairs. You have to make some real ass effort to get up there to steal a measly package. Number two, my apartment is behind a huge hedge, so even if they were willing to go all the way up the stairs to get it, they have to be able to see the crap first. Sometimes I don’t even see the door until I make my way to the bottom of the stairs. And number three, I don’t buy much. Broke people problems.

HOWEVER, I happened to be buying a few things these last few days because Black Friday sales, of course, but also my friends and I decided to sponsor a low-income family for the holidays. ❤ Nothing says the true meaning of Christmas like giving to those who don’t have life as good as you are lucky to have. Well, I’m in charge of getting a baby blanket and the plastic bins we’ll use to put the other gifts in. I’m ready for this. I wanted to get these earbuds on sale anyways. So I go buy the earbuds and blanket first, and then I spend $40 on a pack of 6 plastic bins.

Let’s hit pause for a second. First off, when the blanket did come in, it was fucking tiny. It was way smaller than what I thought and what they had pictured. Like, Amazon, really. Luckily, It’s a baby blanket, so I can be like, I got it like that on purpose, but seriously. Second, why the actual fucking hell are plastic bins $40?!?! and those were the cheap ones! But, chilling out, it’s for a good cause. Back to the story.

So the blanket and earbuds come in, no biggie (sort of 😒), so my boxes are supposed to come in the day after. Chill. Well, I forget about it cause so much stuff has happened and then the day after, I’m like, oh yeah, my bins. I check my account.

“DELIVERED YESTERDAY.” 

I did not receive a package. For sure, I did not get anything. I was home all day. And like, a box full of boxes is not small. I can’t just “miss it.” So I’m like, okay, let’s just call the house real quick. I text my housemates, T and S. T’s home, so I ask if he can check outside for me real quick. Gets back and is like, nope not there. S chirps in and is like, you check downstairs? Yup, it’s not there either. So I’m pissed now, cause the options are, A) never actually delivered, and B) stolen. My packages have never been more than a day late before. And even when it is, it does not show “DELIVERED” on my account before it’s actually delivered. So I know it’s been fucking snatched like a hot piece of ass.

So of course I call Amazon and go through the whole BS of “well, it says it was delivered”, “Well, I didn’t get it” and I’m livid. Of course you don’t steal a package with earbuds and a blanket in it. You steal the one with boxes to hold the actual fricking gifts. Like, what is that crap? I’m so livid and petty, I turn to my friend and am like, yo, I’m gonna post this on that one page with all the students, cause it’s likely someone our age or they’ll know who. Do it, she says. And do it I did.

So I go, “To the asshole who stole my package yesterday, I hope you're happy with yourself when you find out that big box was full of other boxes. And to add onto that, those bins are supposed to be gift boxes for low income families. Your life has resorted to stealing a box full of boxes that were supposed to be for charity. I hope you're happy with yourself. 🤬👎”

Of course I tag my friend in it too, and she’s like, lowkey funny. And I think to myself, yeah, it kinda is. And I look at my post, and imagine their faces when they open the box, like, “Ohhh what did I get??”

Boxes, bitch. You got BOXES.

Anyways, status is an instant fucking hit; people are feeling for me, livid at the nerve, especially since it’s for charity. One guy calls out his friend and he’s like WASN’T ME (Boo, even if this one wasn’t you, rethink your life, plz). But it’s getting around. I’m content; even if someone took the boxes, Amazon sending a replacement, people are laughing at my boxes bitch comment, life goes on. I get home and what do I fucking find at the bottom of my stairs?

The neighborhood cat, Mushin!! ❤🐱❤ 

LOL, I kid, I kid...Mushin was standing next to a huge ass box. A huge ass box that’s cut open. A huge ass box that’s cut open with Amazon Prime tape. A huge ass box, that’s been cut open, with Amazon Prime tape, and my fucking name on the top. So I bring it inside. Pull it open, and lo and behold, it’s the fucking boxes. The asshole was actually on the Facebook page and felt guilty. And if not, he (or she) saw it was some boxes and was like fuck that crap and gave it back. Oh well, whatever. I got what I needed, don’t care that much.

Anyways, that’s my tea for today. Thank you for coming to tea time. This was your Tea Master. Gnite luvs ✌❤

[fiercelyfat]

*This is not a sponsored post.  Dia&Co did not pay me to write this post, all of my opinions are my own. 

Happy Friday everyone! I’m bringing you a very special post today because Dia&Co have a brand spanking new Try-Day-Friday initiative that encourages everyone to step out of their comfort zone and to wear something they wouldn’t normally wear. I decided to finally bite the bullet and (no pun intended) try it for myself.

Today, I’m wearing a dress that has been hanging in my closet for years unworn and unloved. It’s a very lovely dress that I saw at a consignment shop and immediately fell in love with it. However, when I tried it on later I wasn’t all that comfortable showing all that skin because of all the spots I have all over my body due to a skin disorder I was diagnosed with shortly after I graduated  High School.

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When I was in my early twenties, I wore this halter dress and even then I was uncomfortable with it. However, I was rebellious because my Dad didn’t want any of his daughters to dress sexually revealingly. I basically used the ‘I’m a grown-up even though I’m still living in your house card’ stupidly as all young adults do.

So I wore this dress, and on the bus, this little old lady comes up to me out of the blue and tells me that vanishing cream will magically clear up all of my scars. In hindsight, I know the little old lady wasn’t trying to be purposely mean, but I was still so embarrassed and I vowed to never wear anything physically revealing ever again.

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However, Dia & Co’s initiative challenged me to move past my earlier humiliations and my insecurities about my scars to wear this gorgeous gown. As always,my rolls were on fleek, but I didn’t care because in this dress I looked like a fierce Greek Goddess. I think I got a little too into the scenario because I had a resting bitching face through this whole photoshoot!

As for my dress, I literally can’t remember who the designer was and the tag on the back is so eroded over time that I  can’t read the label anymore.  However, I was glad that I wore this dress. It’ such a fun little number that I can diffidently see myself wearing again if I go out to a fancy dinner or event.

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With this dress, I decided to wear my gold flats that have also been in my closet forever. If I really wanted to go full greek, I would wear some lace-up sandals. However, I think my legs are just a little too fat for me to be comfortable wearing them all day.

The jewelry I wore in the photos is actually real gold, and not costume jewelry for once! Both the necklace and the cuff bracelet were kindly loaned to me by my mother, Bernise. The woman is a jewelry hound and has an addiction to HSN and thus she has every jewelry piece known to man.  The gold cuff is my favorite and reminds me of Wonder Woman’s bulletproof cuffs! All I’m missing is the golden lasso of truth and I would be all set.

Thank you so much, guys, for reading this very special post.

Before I go, I have an announcement to make. I am going to take a month-long hiatus to rest up, relax, reflect, and figure out what stays and what goes starting on Monday. There are going to be some changes, I’m will be totally changing the theme of this blog, my posting schedule, and tweak the content it. I’m always want to know what you guys think, so please feel free to email me at gigi@dressthemup.com. I will be back from hiatus just in time for the Christmas craziness on December 4th.

Shop This Look

All of these are similar items because I can’t figure out who designed a majority of this outfit.

  [carousel_slide id=’1372′]

Gold Plate Half Train Dress $28.98 // Asos Lassie Ballet Flats $7.50 // [most similar item] Christian Dior Dior 2-way Handbag Lambskin Off-white Gold Metal Leather Ladies Shoulder Bag  $728.14 // [cheapter alternative ] LC Lauren Conrad Lili Large Frame Tote with Coin Purse $62.30 //

  [Gigi’s Corner] Special Post: The Midas Touch *This is not a sponsored post.  Dia&Co did not pay me to write this post, all of my opinions are my own. 

[promomagazine]

Who is the man behind GucciGhost?

By: Kyle Johnson

After a successful stint as a professional Olympic snowboarder for Burton Snowboards, the elusive man known as Brooklyn’s GucciGhost (aka Andrew Trouble) has gained international notoriety thanks to his graffiti-style artwork. From re-creating Gucci’s iconic GG logo to developing a “Real Love” logo of his own, his street-style tagging brought him front and center with Gucci and high-street fashion. And, as evidenced in his collaborations with his wife Santigold, Diplo and now Gucci, he is a lover of music and art serving as a reminder that, what was once all a dream is now “Gucci.”

In this exclusive interview, which first appeared in the pages of the 12th issue of ODDA Magazine, Trouble talks about his life before “Ghost”, how skateboarding help him become more creative and what it is like working with Gucci’s creative director Alessandro Michele.

Q: To start, take us back to the pre-GucciGhost era and describe what life was like for you leading up to, and including the moment when the moniker and persona of the “ghost” came to life. Tell us about your time in Canada, your former career as a professional snowboarder and how you got to where you are today, including the Halloween of 2012.

A: My life has always been about just creating and making stuff since I was a kid. I was never really into sports, I was into drawing… my mum gave me paper (and I would draw pictures of Superman and wrestlers all day). Besides drawing, skateboarding has always attracted me and somehow it’s been the entry to the artistic world. Becoming a pro-snowboarder was the beginning of we getting to travel the world and understand the process of creating my own signature products for brands that sponsored me (snowboards, outerwear, goggles, sunglasses etc.) I think skateboarding gave me a whole different way of thinking, a wider perspective, and DIY attitude. A lot of what I was discovering at a young age was through skate and snowboard videos my older friends exposed me to. That’s been such an important time in my life. The process of making my own products for brands and all that, getting involved in every single phase of the process, bringing ideas into reality, creating ads and filming videos… just another extension of the creation that brought me around the world. Being a skater & snowboarder to me was more of a martial art than only ‘a sport,’ I love that there is such creative side to it; it’s all about individuality.

Once the GucciGhost project started, the collection came together so fast. It was super fun and easy working with Gucci because they have the best materials and creative team in the world. Alessandro made it super easy for me because he did not give me any rules or guidelines to follow, he basically told me he loved what I was doing and gave me free reins to create whatever I felt. He gave me a studio to work at the Gucci headquarters, I basically transformed it to feel like my studio space in Brooklyn and just vibes out, played music and painted. He would come in with bags, jackets, and materials for me to paint on and once I was done he would take what I completed up to his office and build on them more.

Alessandro took everything to another level whenever he touched it, it was amazing to see him take some of the pieces that I had hanging on my walls for years before Gucci discovered my work and make them feel brand new again. I brought two suitcases full of GucciGhost samples I had created over the years (jackets, prints, bags sketches, etc.) When I started drawing the GucciGhost it opened my mind to a lot of things. I wondered how far could it go and was intrigued by how people reacted to it. It was fun to strip things down and create a less perfect image of a symbol that to a lot of people stands for perfection.

The logo itself affects people in such a strong way, and for me it was fun to play with the GG logo and Gucci word mark, using slogans like “Life is Gucci” to highlight the fact that the brand has transcended fashion and become a part of English slang to describe something as good or great (Life is ‘Gucci’=Life is Great). I added the ‘ghost’ part of the name because I felt no one could see me and not a lot of people believed in what I was doing so I thought it made sense to create a kind of ‘ghost brand’ that would haunt the real brand until someone noticed or believed in me.

People started to think I was crazy for what I was doing. So many people including friends, business associates and family told me ‘Gucci will never going to talk to you,’ ‘What are you doing? If anything they are just going to sue you!’ I kept transforming all of my surroundings, my whole wardrobe, studio, walls and trash cans anything I could find that seemed undervalued or overlooked I would add value to it by making it Gucci. It felt positive, I was salvaging things that were thrown away and turning trash to treasure as well as projecting the idea of believing in an idea so much that it could become real. For a while every post on social media, all my music projects and video I was incorporating this idea and somehow promoting the GucciGhost idea as a brand. It became sort of an obsession, I said literally ‘I am going to do this until Gucci sues me or hires me.’

Q: Alessandro Michelle, Gucci’s creative director, said of your work, ‘I saw the way Trevor was using the symbol of the company and I thought it was quite genius. It’s completely different than the idea of copying. It’s the idea that you try to [take to] the street, through language like graffiti, the symbols of the company.’ For our reader, explain the creative process behind using the Gucci logo in your work and describe what personal connection it has for you. Then, if you don’t mind, illustrate how the collaboration of your street driven messages and imagery came about with the high-end fashion retailer.

A: It was very surreal when Gucci contacted me. I always felt it would just take the right person at the brand to understand what I was doing and how it would apply and Alessandro was that right person. From then I just went straight to Milan and brought two suitcases full of canvases, jackets, hard drives… all that kind of ideas. When Alessandro and I met we went out for lunch to get to know each other a little bit, then got back to the office and opened the suitcases. I wanted to know how he and the team were reacting to all the stuff… it was so exciting for me and also gave me direction just based off the reaction I got from each piece.

A beautiful part of working with Alessandro was he’s so free, he put no limitations on what we were creating, and that’s why I think it’s been as successful as it has. You have to take risks if you want great results; Alessandro is fearless and works with his heart. You have to have the strength to believe in your vision and love what you’re doing; we both had that in common from the start. Besides, the three years I had been doing the GucciGhost project on a street DIY level.

Once I was at Gucci everything happened so fast! We built the first GucciGhost pieces in two weeks, leading up to the Women’s Fall/Winter show in Milan last Feb. was a very proud and surreal feeling to watch the show and see how the pieces were brought to life. From Women’s Fall/Winter collection, our relationship has kept growing organically. We made some GucciGhost pieces for the Cruise Collection as well the Men’s summer with the jewellery line. From there we did a worldwide tour launching the GG collection at Gucci retail shops around the world.

We built out installations in the shops and threw parties celebrating the collaboration: NYC, Barcelona, Berlin, Rome, Tokyo, Dover Street Market installation, Chicago, Chengdu. Street-driven messages happen I guess because that’s been my surroundings and a major part of my life. I’ve spent a lot of my life skating around in the street, playing in punk bands and listening to rap. I’ve always been attracted to things that challenge ‘the norm.’ Alessandro discovered what I was doing and understood it. Whatever medium I’m working with I always make it feel raw and honest…a new fresh feeling to it.

Q: Spearheaded by a Fashion Week party held at Gucci’s Fifth Avenue flagship store on Sept. 14, your first collection hit the racks this past fall. Tell us about the collection. What was it like working with Gucci and Michelle? Was it what you thought it would be? What are three things you cherished most from the experience?

A: I like that people don’t think I’m crazy anymore. It’s a great feeling to see people’s excitement and curiosity about GucciGhost. It’s amazing how this all came to life! I really enjoyed the process once I was at Gucci but I also really enjoyed the chase. Sometimes the chase is even greater than the glory but, in this case, I value both experiences equally.

Q: Now that you’ve had your artwork and fashion designs worn by celebrities like Rihanna and Elton John, what social responsibility do you feel you have as an artist? What is your message?

A: I think GucciGhost is all about believing in something and making it real even when others tell your ghosts are not real. It’s all about love and creating your own value and ownership. I’m just projecting what I’m feeling and what I want in return. ‘Life is Gucci, Life is Great!’ I totally don’t listen to negativity. A big part of me starting the GucciGhost project was to prove that anything is possible with love and the ability to truly believe and take risks.

Q: When speaking of artists having a deep connection to New York, Michelle made note of Keith Haring and his work. He then went on to mention that you were ‘one of his [Haring’s] sons.’ How does this make you feel?

A: That is the hugest compliment ever; it made me cry when I read that quote from Alessandro.

Q: In addition to your GucciGhost creations, you directed the music video ‘Bitch’ for Zoe Kravitz and her band, Lolawolf. You’ve also released two albums under the alias, ‘Trouble Andrew,’ called ‘T.U.P.A’ and ‘GucciGhost EP.’ In regards to Lolawolf and directing, how did your relationship begin? Were you always into directing videos? Where do you see your directing career in the future? Then, in regards to your band, how did it get its start? What are its creative influences and how would you describe your music?

 A: Zoe reached out when her bandmates from Lolawolf saw some of the videos I had been creating for my record & GucciGhost propaganda posts. So we got together and clicked so I started making all of these music videos. I’ve always made my own videos as a kid skating and snowboarding in 90s so I just applied the same lo-fi raw formula. I keep it very simple and real.The Bitch video with Miley I shot when we were all at South by Southwest (SXSW®) festival in Texas. I went to the dollar store and bought some Miley Cyrus [Hannah Montana] playing cards and just had them hang out in our hotel room partying having fun together… In general, making music, videos, clothing or painting I try to keep it simple and honest. I’ve never been classically trained in any of these fields or went to school for art or music or fashion, I have just taught myself. It’s fun to find my own way of expressing myself. I think not being trained to do things ‘correctly’ has helped me developed my own style. Regarding influences, skateboarding is where it all started for me. It was my entry to art, music, fashion and a way of thinking. Skateboarding is also how I discovered snowboarding and that is what got me around the world at a young age. This exposed me to so much and expanded my mind because I got a chance to experience first hand how other people live their lives. Traveling is the greatest influence to me, it’s played such a major roll in who I have become. Music is everything to me. It has always driven me to create and inspired me to push myself. The power of music is magic, it’s amazing how it can change your emotions, that’s why it’s kind of godly. When I came to discovering creating music it kind of happened by accident, although I always felt the desire to try just never seemed to find time because by that time I was snowboarding as a profession. I had gotten knee surgery because of a snowboarding injury that had me out of commission for about 9 months so I could not really do much but stay in at home.

My wife Santi and I had just moved in together and she had some instruments around the house. I would just mess around playing little punk riffs and she would come in the room and sing over what I was playing.I ended up writing on 6 songs for her ‘Stiffed’ project at the time. Doing that really opened my mind to the fact that, even If I was not trained to play well I could play enough to make a song and express my emotions and even if it was in the most simple way it could still be powerful.

I have worked with Santi a lot of the years. I was featured on I’m a Lady from the first Santigold LP and most recently directed her video Who Be Lovin’ Me feat I Love Makonnen and some others. We always collaborate since we are partners, we share ideas and encourage one another but we definitely give each other a lot of independence when it comes to creating as well. Also, we are parents, that’s the best collaboration ever! I have major A.D.D, I usually jump from project to project, one minute I’m painting, the next I’m filming or designing then back to recording music and so on. I think it helps me not get bored of one thing and keep staying productive. I will drop some new music in March as well as some other special visual projects on Guccighost.com

Q: You’re married to Santi White, the American singer and producer who goes by the name, Santigold. How did you guys meet?

A: We met in NY through mutual friends and immediately clicked. We fall in love, and then moved to NY together.

Q: Having given up a career as an Olympic snowboarder to delve deeper into your obsession with art and music, how do you see your creative work influencing the snowboard culture? Are there any similarities between the two? 

A: I think there are similarities between skate, snow, music, fashion and art. Skating and snowboarding taught me about commitment and originality. I discovered a lot of the music I love and developed my sense of style through that scene. Art, music and fashion play a major role in the culture and vice versa.

Q: Give three words to describe each of the following events:

– Leaving Canada for New York

Whole world, one city …

– Meeting your wife, Santigold

Meant-to-be

– Receiving a phone call from Alessandro Michelle

at Gucci

Surreal, perfect-timing

Q: Your YouTube page says that you’re ‘a Nova Scotia born, Brooklyn artist whose genre bending style permeates his music and designs.’ With our 12th issue paying homage to ‘unexpected perceptions,’ describe your genre-bending style’s influence on modern culture. What misconceptions did you have about fashion before working with Gucci?

A: Regarding misconceptions about fashion, hmmm… I think that people in the business are having more fun than people might think. Traditionally I think it may have been more rigid but me being there just proves that something is changing, roles are changing… we are bringing in new vibes.

Q: Finally, in terms of success, describe what it means to you. What are your goals and future plans?

A: Success for me is to be able to keep creating, exploring and expanding my mind and spirit. Just dream and make those dreams my reality. Making something out of nothing, that’s success.