#this post is mainly to hold myself accountable

[its-stupidhours]

ok so the plan is:

OCTOBER: try and get the big smir fic to at least 40k to 1) get back into the swing of writing a lot and 2) lighten my load for November

NOVEMBER: nanowrimo hell. try and get big smir fic to 100k words, but more realistic goal is 75k. If I hit 40k by Halloween, then that's 2k words a day through November, which is a LOT, but fingers crossed. fingers fucking crossed. I believe in myself.

DECEMBER: don't look at big smir for until like 2024 bc I'm sure I'll be sick to death of it and instead work on some smaller things. try and get some stuff published bc I said I would be posting something for every chapter of the big smir fic I write and by this point I would theoretically have ~4 or 5 new chapters done. maybe do something for one year anniversary of the first smir fic. oh yeah and survive this semester of college I guess

JANUARY: edit nanowrimo hell stuff bc I'm sure a lot of it will be rough. I honestly have no idea when the big fic will be done, but I'm certain that nano will not be the end of it, as much as I wish it would be.

[petricorah]

what should i draw this weekend

[lavenderfairiez]

New valgrace art tomorrow!

(I just need to shade the hair and clothes which arguably is most of it but I think I can finish it by tomorrow)

[darby-rowe-archive]

sarah cameron fic tonight queen?

yes actually 🥰

[gucciforasushirestaurant]

Writing Update :)

More writing today! I'm really gonna focus on this vampire!reader one (if you fuck with TVD you're going to love it, i can't wait) its sitting at about 15k at the moment (and that's free writing it, no real editing or even as descriptive as i want it to be so...she's a big gorl lol)

I'm going to edit the 6k smut. because sub space featured, i was going to treat that as a request fill because someone specially asked for a subspace fic, but i think I'm just going to write another one because this one has like....every kink in it and i don't think the person that requested subspace wants all that lol Plus that way i can leave the 6k one up as like a 'mini-verse' of sorts that i can add onto as i see fit? if that makes sense?

I am changing how i post. I usually post and write simultaneously and it never ever ends well, i just get burned out and never come back for a while. and I want to keep going (I'm proving something to myself okay let me have this lol) So what I'm going to do is stock pile a few different things, have at lest 4 done, and 3 or so in the workshop phase before i start posting stuff, so I can remain consistent.

[hazelnut-u-out]

Rick and Morty does an awesome job at highlighting generational trauma cycles. The fact that Beth adopted Rick’s parenting style and approach to marriage (and even IDOLIZED him/the abuse) without realizing that her biggest character flaws come directly from him is super interesting.

I honestly think splitting her into two different versions of herself— one who chooses to be more like her mother and one more like her father; one who stays and one who leaves— was a good choice. As someone who relates a lot to sentiments like ‘my parent idolizes their parents/I’m angry with my parents for what their parents did to them/when I’m angry with my mother, but then I remember she’s just a girl’, the Beths are a powerful representation of not only what I see in myself, but also an experience of motherhood I have little insight into on my own.

With all of their parallels, I like to think Beth has moments where she— like her father— says to herself, ‘Holy shit… I’m a terrible mother.’

I’ve never thought about it before, but Beth truly resents feeling ‘trapped’ in motherhood. She views it as something Jerry did to her instead of something she also partook in. I’m not saying that Jerry didn’t do that intentionally, but I am saying that Beth made choices there, too, and it’s unfair of her to hold contempt for her children (mainly Morty) because of that.

It makes me wonder what her relationship with Diane was like. Diane might have felt like Rick trapped her into motherhood and then took a backseat, too. Did Diane resent Beth for taking away what her life could’ve been? Did Diane blame Beth for her decision to be a mother?

On the other side of the coin, we have Morty. He’s like his dad in a lot of innocent ways, but that concept terrifies him because he’s seen the malice behind that harmless facade.

Part of him hates his mom for never wanting him— for never caring for him or protecting him— but that’s a part of himself he buries. He knows, at the end of the day, his mom is just a girl who desperately wanted her dad to love her.

‘I love Daddy!’

People talk about how much Morty is like Jerry all the time, but I’ve NEVER seen a post about how similar he is to Beth. (Please tag me if you have, so I can hype it up!) He spends all day everyday cripplingly aware of just how little his parents want him. He feels their rejection and neglect. He buries those feelings to protect them; or maybe because he’s so aware of their disdain for him that he believes they just might discard him if he’s too much work.

…Sound familiar?

Sometimes I wonder how much of Morty’s efforts to protect Beth from Rick’s actions and people pleasing to make Beth and Rick’s relationship just a bit easier comes from a certain relatedness he feels to his mother’s experience of rejection/abandonment.

‘Rick, I can handle it if you go, but you’ll break Mom’s heart, and I won’t forgive you for that.’

He loves who some may consider unlovable.

But, holy shit, is that kid angry.

Angry at people he can’t justify holding accountable because… Fuck, they’ve been through a lot, too, haven’t they? How could he possibly justify hating someone he could so easily become?

I can only hope we get some more of Rick’s relationship with his parents. I’m dying to know about it.

[warblogs17282]

Don't understand the 'character flaw = bad writing' crowd at all, like the point is that the characters are flawed, like I've straight up seen people say that a character flaw (such as Stolas' line 'I don't look down on you' when he has accidentally in the past, the racism/classism issue basically) get called bad writing because the show isn't holding Stolas accountable, like it isn't black and white, both Stolas and Blitz have deep rooted trauma and such that is a core part of their character and why they act like they do.

Like where did you even get that take from, like even the pro Stolas people (myself included, just to be clear I am not taking a side in the Stolitz breakup with this statement, I think it's a both sides issue, besides the point though) know Stolas is in the wrong when he says that, but that doesn't automatically make it bad writing, the description for apology tour literally says 'Stolas still not quite being self aware enough at times' and 'continued miscommunication while two people with trauma are upset with each other' like this bit in the description shows that these character flaws are very much intentional and will be addressed eventually, we have plenty of episodes left, please give it time I beg.

The post is mainly about the 'character flaw = bad writing' crowd I've seen, only used Stolitz issues as an example to get my point across since most of the discourse rn are about them, you could apply the general formula of the post to most character flaws tbh.

[a-little-revolution]

Do you know of any resources where I may be able to find visual references of people with proportionate dwarfism, particularly of the pituitary variety? I keep mainly finding medical diagrams of children while trying to search myself, which is a bit frustrating while trying to figure out how to accurately draw a character who is not only an adult but, yknow, a person..?

Hello! For any unaware, while most types of dwarfism are disproportionate (such as with Achrondroplasia - where some parts of the body like the arms and legs are short, while the trunk is average sized), proportionate dwarfism is usually caused by a growth hormone deficiency and is either a primordial dwarfism or seckel syndrome. See my previous post on types of dwarfism for more info!

So indeed it is hard to find good references for primordial dwarfism, particularly in adults, but I did find Shauna Rae!

Image Description: Shauna Rae, star of TV 14's "I am Shauna Rae" sits on a blue plush chair during an interview. Her small frame takes up only a third of the chair, and legs are just the length of it. She is white, with wavy brown hair and blue eyes. She wears a pink long sleeve shirt, blue jeans, and brown lace up boots. Her frame is small but proportionate, skinny, and her height is 3 foot 10.

Image Description: Here Shauna Rae sits next to a statue of young girl wearing a dress and holding a present in her lap. Shauna sits with her legs crossed and her hands on her lap, looking to her left into the distance as the statue is. She is the same size and height of the child statue at age 25. She wears black leggings with horizontal slits up them, with an oversized grey t shirt with similar slits on the chest. She wears golden flip flops and a turquoise anklet. Her hair is dirty blonde and shoulder length.

I cannot speak to her as an individual, but she does have an instagram account that could be helpful for photo references. Hope this helps!

[randomquadballpun]

Knitting beige cabled socks Johns jumper inspired socks?

A while back I read @calaisreno fanfic 'Ravelling' after stumbling across it on Tumblr. Apart from being beautifully written, it also really hit a chord for me, since knitting is what kept me somewhat sane over the last 2 years and has been a massive help just by keeping my hands and my mind busy.

Ever since I got into knitting bigger projects, I have been flirting with the idea of doing more fandom inspired knitting, since fandom is another big part of my everyday life. But knitting materials are expensive and I only want to knit clothes that I truly love and will get a lot of wear out of, and so far no bigger fanish project has ever appealed to me enough to make the commitment.

For some reason - before reading Ravelling - it hadn't even occurred to me that socks are right there! So just like John in this fanfic I too want to slowly start a fandom inspired sock collection, because that just sounds like a lot of fun.

I am starting off very beige. I found a pattern for an oatmeal jumper inspired sock and the same weekend I went out to shop for some groceries and came across the ideal beige yarn for the purpose. It was basically faith.

This has been my first time knitting a sock from the toe up (if we ignore the at least three times that I unravelled parts of this sock before I was happy with it) and I really like doing it this way! The yarn, while inexpensive and nice to look at, was a bit of a pain to work with though.

Overall I am not 100% sure how much this really resembles the actual oatmeal jumper, but even if it doesn't, it's still a very comfy and nice cable knit sock, just in time for the cold months and it has a special meaning just for me.

The problem with socks, he decides, is that people have heels.

John in Ravelling

While I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment (even though this heel really wasn't that bad), there is an even bigger problem ... which is that people have TWO feet.

So I will post this here mainly to hold myself accountable to actually starting and finishing sock number 2 at some point (even though my mind has already merrily skipped further down fandom knitting lane and is now ogling 221 B wallpaper patterned socks or a Moriarty skull tie pattern). But I am sure I will return to oatmeal sock number 2 in 2-3 business months, just to discover that I have completely forgotten how I made the first one!

Wish me luck!

(And go and read Ravelling if you haven't yet. Go reread it if you have! And if you have the time and the spoons for it, go and create something!)

[goo-berz]

Talking about Vivziepops' weird art of minors

I've never been the biggest fan of Vivziepop, I've always knew about their weird behavior (since like 2018 ~ 2019) before they were as popular as they are now.

She has done a lot of weird stuff but the thing I mainly wanna focus on in this post is their character Addison. Addison is a 17 year old gay effeminate fox humanoid from Zoophobia, he's in a relationship with a 19 year old Teacher's assistant named Gustav. Many people get confused by this but Addison has been CONFIRMED to be 17 years old by Vivziepop. Someone had changed Addison's Fandom Wiki page back in 2019 to say they're 18, when this is not true, Vivzie has confirmed they're 17. I did go back and change the age to 17 on the Wiki with the correct age in hopes that people stop believing incorrect information.

Vivzie confirming their age: https://twitter.com/vivziepop/status/1128064633166712832

The tags in this post brings up the fact that Addison is nearly 18 - not 18 yet - They're still 17.

Edit: Oh yeah, I want to add on context to this tag: "I should mention the characters canon ages are higher then when I first made them because as I wrote the story any big age gaps were uncomfy"

I've heard multiple older fans of Vivziepop say that Addison was originally meant to be 14-15 years old, and I've heard that Gustav was originally meant to be in his 30s.

Addison was created 2010, She began shipping Gustav with Addison in 2011, and Zoophobia began in 2012. So the fact she shipped a 14-15 year old character with a 30 year old one to begin with, and encouraged her friend to draw intense NSFW art of them together is so.. weird.

Anyways, Vivzie also hints at Addison being a minor, using wording indicating how young they are in age in their Blogpost introducing the character

"I finally created a few concepts, but the one I have been toying with the most is a young character much like Gale. An albino boy, with an identical albino sister"

If you need more proof, Addison is also preyed on by Mirage, a character that SPECIFICALLY goes after minors... that's basically her main personality trait, that she's a p3d0. She goes after Addison because he's a young submissive boy and easy to manipulate.

Anyways, back on topic. I personally I don't see anything wrong with the age gap of 17 & 19, however I do think it's weird to have this relationship between Addison and Gustav.. he's not exactly a teacher, but he still holds power over Addison due to the fact he's the voluntary teacher's assistant. Back when Zoophobia was popular there were people who found this dynamic weird & creepy considering the fact that Addison is basically a student under Gustav. Also, I just wanna bring this up because I find this weird, Gustav was originally under the impression that Addison was a year one student and much younger than he actually is, yet he still tried to flirt with him.. erm..? Yeah..

Anyways, that isn't the main point. The point is that Vivzie DREW NSFW OF HER 17 YEAR OLD CHARACTER AND HIS 19 YEAR OLD TEACHER... erm.. holy cracker balls? Literally how can anyone excuse these?

Vivzie also drew Gore of Addison too, but I won't post it here cus it's very graphic and weird and idk why she drew it!!

And .. possibly the worst drawing of them all.. Holy titties what is this... If you're wondering, the stuff under the censors is ACTUAL NSFW. It's not suggestive, or implied s3x, It's their ACTUAL WEE WEEs.

These accounts are poorly archived, so it's hard to find the original post and what it originally said. However after some digging I was able to find out the original text said

“ dollcreep: “ i can only see ‘dark-Günter’ exposing him and addi to a public area like so…so. yeah. Günter says; merry Christmas. god this question is super old. vivz reminded me about it"

So, I'm assuming that Dollcreep drew this, not Vivzie. However I was also able to find out from the limited resources there is that Vivzie reposted this to her accounts Vivzie-zp (unarchived) and ZPanswers, which are also now deleted, but if you view the accounts tumblr archives over the Wayback machine you can see that she did indeed repost this. http://web.archive.org/web/20120801182958/http://zpanswers.tumblr.com/archive

If you don't know, Dollcreep and Vivzie used to be best friends, however aren't anymore. Dollcreep originally designed Gustav, originally named Gunter, and Vivzie bought the design from them. Vivzie designed Addison back around 2010, and taking into account the old caption, this means that Vivzie.. allowed Dollcreep to draw NSFW art of their underaged character ;-; oh my gawd!!! Whatthe heck guys... like I said at this time Addison was still 14 - 15 and Gustav (Gunter) was in his 30s.

Also I want to mention that this drawing was from 2011, so that means Vivzie had this pedophilic ship with Dollcreeps OC for years, & after she bought the rights to the character she decided to.. keep the pedophilic ship and write it into Zoophobia by making him Addisons teacher. That's crazy..?

Anyways, because I brought up Mirage. Mirage is written pretty bad. She was a character meant to be in.. or scrapped from Zoophobia, she was meant to be a villain who preyed on the kids, mainly Addison. Her main trait is that she likes kids

Vivzie's made a bunch of drawings of Mirage preying on kids which I think is pretty weird, especially considering how poorly some of them represent it and make it seem like a joke instead.

and yeah, we all know about this infamous drawing she made of Mirage preying on Kestrel, a 14 year old. Pretty weird

Also when I looked at the web archive of Vivzie's ZPanswers blog (a Zoophobia ask blog) she accepted many weird asks about Kestrel, 14, and Addison, 17, like an ask asking if Kestrel had ever been fucked by a horse & how Kestrel, Addison & others would act when they were drunk. Which is also pretty weird to me I won't lie

Anyways that's all for now. Sorry if this is all over the place its 4am and I just wanted to get my thoughts out that vivziepop is kinda a weirdo

[knightyoomyoui]

[SMUT] TWICE Nayeon x Male Reader - “Is There Someone Else?”

Surprise, surprise! This is my first full smut work that I will only be posting here in my Tumblr account knowing how strict Wattpad is currently with mature contents like this. I hope yall like this especially those readers of mine who are familiar enough reading smutty fanfic works. However, I wouldn’t consider this being my first time to attempt writing such completely out of my usual only fluffy/angsty one-shots formula and challenge myself on creating something different as I already did it with my other fic titled “Catching Feelings” ft. TWICE Jihyo from the Set 5 line-up of my TWICE: Book Of One-Shots X Reader book (look it up on my masterlist) although that is mainly fluff and the smut is only very short but please understood me if yall might find this boring since I’m still a beginner. Enjoy reading and have a nice day everyone! (A/N: This is inspired from the song "Is There Someone Else?" by one of my all time favorite artists The Weeknd from his awesome album ‘Dawn FM’.) WARNING: Contains mature R+18 content.

The cold, silent night just reached the 9:00 PM mark. You were sitting in the couch, legs crossed and sporting a strict demeanor staring at the door, waiting for your girlfriend who just knocked and made her way inside by opening it.

"I'm home." She said as she saw your figure already prepared to welcome her as she entered the house. Nayeon didn't even bother to notice at your strange aura at first, not until when she removed her shoes and shoulder bag off her body.

"Where did you go?" You asked her in a monotonous tone.

"I went out with friends, why?" She asked you while raising her brow.

"Plural. You sure there's more than you and whoever guy it may be that you're with earlier?" Now your arms crossed and glared at her weakly, shifting your presence to an authorative image.

"Jihyo and Jeongyeon were also with me and Junghee when we went strolling at the mall." She clarified, but that didn't satisfied you enough. You have another plan in mind to play with your rules, to ensure her glory of you believing her words.

"Oh okay then. But I assume that despite they are around, he's still stuck on your side through most of the time; isn't it?"

"YN, where are we heading with this? A-are you suspecting me?" She questioned confusingly, her brows are now knitted to one another.

"You won't answer my question?" You didn't responded to her own concern, throwing back the same treatment to her. Standing up from the couch that shortly became uncomfortable for the first time as you're facing her with all these worrying what ifs in your head, you slowly trailed across her.

"YN?"

Towering at her frame, inches close against each other; you pursed your head in her collar and sniffed. "I won't mind not receiving any answers from you, I already can tell it anyway based from his smell lingering your clothes.", you said; mentioning that familiar expensive perfume only suitable for men like you.

She stepped back, separating herself away from you with judgmental look in her face. "What the hell? So you really are thinking that I'm secretly meeting up with him without your knowing?"

"How can you blame me so, Nayeon?" You didn't circled the topic any longer, revealing your side and what urged you to confront her like this tonight. "It's been days since you keep on leaving the house with all your short and lacking excuses, and you just take my permissions I give to you as your advantage, without having any idea that I'm holding myself to beg you not to go Nayeon."

"Don't you see? We almost had a little amount of time to spend alone together, and I just want you to stay with me and enjoy having you on my side everyday but... what you're doing just starts to fill up these... doubts and uneasiness in me that you- you're hiding something from me that I don't wanna know." Nayeon frowned as she finally realized and understood why you suddenly became observative and moody with her. It was all her fault, she owned. She knows that she didn't do it with all intention or want to find ways not to have you moving around from her because of the thought that she maybe-

Oh no. She halted from processing your words in her mind, but it didn't prevented her for hearing additional question that you have in store for her.

"Nayeon, is there someone else? Was there a chance that this person is trying to take you away from me?" You asked her straightfully. Staring deep into her eyes that widened as she heard that huge question setting your relationship with her on line with it, she wandered at your pityful state. Eyes are droopy, lips curved in reverse, sadness visible in your face.

"N-no, no! YN! Never. Don't think of that, okay? I love you and only you! Ask Jeongyeon and Jihyo, they’ll tell you that I’m right!" She frantically said as she cupped your cheeks with both of her big, slender hands.

You remained unmovable with the entire view of Nayeon's beauty that you don't want to lose, desperately assuring you that she don't want the same either.

From the tone of her words, she is nearly getting you believe from it. But, you still don't want to disregard what you prepared for her to do tonight. Take it as something you and her definitely need. It has been a week that both you and her won't share any intimate moments together, and this is opportunity laid in front of you tonight to do so.

You gently removed her hands from pressing your cheeks, much to Nayeon's shock especially when she had contact from your head movement doing a disapproving shake.

Stepping away from her this time, Nayeon nervously hops in her feet as her body began to shiver in fear. "W-what? YN! No, please! What do I need to do for you to believe me?"

That question perfectly activated the go signal to do your plan. Slowly glancing at Nayeon who seems to be almost emotional in front of you, you tried to compose your bland expression to her. You want her to submit for you tonight, she is playing your game... and you're the one in charge of her.

You sat back from your couch. "Take off your clothes."

Nayeon looked at you puzzledly. "W-what?"

"Don't make me repeat again, I said, take off your clothes. Turn around as you do it."

Nayeon gulped at your unexpected request. If she's eager to earn your forgiveness and this is the solution you require, she won't protest at all to follow; you're her boyfriend anyways and to be honest, she's been wanting this to happen with you since from the start when you and her became official.

She turned around, her back figure is now facing you. Starting off with her belt, she began to unlock and dishevel it from her waist; hanging it at the back of the chair.

Her hands went to the zipper behind her rose designed red and white colored blouse and unzipped it, allowing the clothing to adjust for her to pull it upwards slowly from her top area. Her white laced bra aligning at the width of her gorgeous back is now open for you to witness and began enjoying it.

Half-naked, Nayeon proceeds with her skirt that matches with the apperance of her blouse; detaching the button and slip it down from her feet. She bended down, her brown hair fell and nearly reached the floor but you didn't cared that much when there's a more distracting part of hers that you have to focus on rather.

Her plump round ass hidden by her matching white panties effectively got you aroused. It would lose eventually compared to the other sight made by Nayeon when she turned around and present you her front side. You can definitely see her B-cup sized breasts encapsulated by her white bra which caused your dick to began harden on your shorts.

Nayeon saw the formation of tent done by your erected shaft, the lust in her barging to take control. She unawaringly grinds her thighs together as you stood up in front of her.

You wrapped your arm around her small waist, pushing her closer to you. Your hidden friend bumped at Nayeon's abdomen which made the woman whimper. "God, you're so heavenly attractive Nayeon."

You kissed Nayeon on the lips, tongue engaged on dancing to the rhythm with each other's movements. Breaking off your make-out session with her, you carried her up by lifting her ass; her legs locked around your waist.

Entering to your bedroom that is now willingly shared with your girlfriend, you entered and laid Nayeon on the bed; dropping her weight without care; as if it would hurt her crashing down to your bed's soft mattress.

Positioning on top of her, you kissed her again on the lips; caressing the locks of her hair from the side while she does the same from the back of your head.

"Tonight, I just want you to show me that I'm all yours."

Nayeon only nodded, she didn't want to speak for now. All she wants is to anticipate the incoming pleasure to be sent by you and her from each other's bodies.

You leaned away from her face before removing your shirt and throwing it aside. Lowering down and kneeled beside the bed, you began praising her godly sculptured body by showering kisses through her legs, knees, and those healthy thighs.

Nayeon huffed in the air as the sensation arises when you matched your kisses with gentle touches from your hands roaming in her smooth skin.

Your face meets her shielded treasure. Annoyed at the distraction, your fingers dug onto the bands and pulled her panties away as she helps you by raising both of her legs.

Her juicy, pink pussy that is now obviously desperate of your attention has now freed. Your thumb and the rest of your fingers first massaged the underside and the corners of her ass, thighs and her pussy to take your time teasing her.

"P-please eat me, baby. Don't tease me any longer, it needs you."

You obliged at her pleads. Your active hands paused for a while to hold her thighs open for you to comfortably move as you began licking her slit with your tongue, earning a sexy alluring moans and heavy breathing from your lover.

It continues as you savor the taste of her delicious pussy, biting and sucking off her flesh and nub before you entered your two fingers inside her walls as you stimulate her clit.

"Mmmhhh Y-YN yes, right there. Oohhh yeah keep eating me please."

Her hands leads to your hair as she gripped it to push your face closer on her needy and horny pussy, already dripping wet from the tongue and finger fucking you're giving to her.

You began increasing the speed of your fingers inserting in and out of her tight hole along with your flicking and wiggling of your tongue to her bloated clit.

"Ooohhh yesss Y-YN oh my god I'm cumming I'm cumming!!!"

Nayeon shouts as slimy and sticky juices of her sprayed all over your face in response to the orgasm you elicited on her. Her squirt took a little longer before it stopped, you tasted her own sweet fluid first before heading on next to other spots that deserves appreciation too.

You left a trail of kisses to her nicely built torso, over and under her belly button. She watches your head arises until it finally stops right in front of her cleavage.

In the assistance of your slick hands, you unclipped the front of her bra between the cups before taking it off, letting those small but handful and round breasts slightly jiggle in your eyes.

Licking your lips, you groped those mounds with every random directions, massaging those firm pillows as they gave a marshmallow feeling in your hands.

"Them also, YN. You can suck those tits, baby."

With regards to her command, you began sucking on her nipples and circle your tongue around those brown areolas. Giving those bosoms fair treatment, you switched side by side; one hand playing while the other being sucked carefully by you.

Nayeon moaned at how actually good it feels of your mouth tasting her delicious orbs. She begged more and more for you to keep doing it until you decided to finish worshipping her body by kissing her chest, shoulder, neck, cheeks until it brought you back again to her candy lips.

"You can't be the only one being pleasured, baby. Help me too with this. Hang your head at the edge of the bed for me."

She listened, pushing her body more to let her upsided head flailing out of the bed's surface. You get out from her and stood in front of her as you removed your short, making her gasp and sprung her eyes out at your engorged length of your big cock now escaped from your clothed prison.

Directing your shaft at her lips first to ready herself, you slowly pushed forward and successfully entered her mouth as you slowly fucked her upside down face with your pair of full balls dangling above her nose.

You moaned and whimpered at how awesome her mouth and that soft tongue rotating around your girth to add the satisfying sensation which encouraged you to got faster on your fucking.

Gurgles and slurps from Nayeon sucking your cock echoed in the bedroom. You grasped her bouncing breasts for attention as you continued drilling her mouth until you reach your end.

"Nayeon, I'm cumming! Take it all!!!"

Three last strokes is all it takes for you to gave up and release your streaks of pearly white cum to flood Nayeon's available mouth. You pumped your cock a little bit more to ride your orgasm before you slipped off, allowing Nayeon to easily swallow your cream.

Going back to business, you kneeled in front of Nayeon's body still laid on her back to the bed. Giving each other trusting nods, you inserted your dick inside her pussy. It made Nayeon's lower half shiver as she willingly takes all of your length until you're balls deep inside of her.

Slow and careful rhythm is what you gave Nayeon to let her indulge the feeling. You leaned forwards and kissed Nayeon passionately while you remained grinding on her.

Soon your pace became faster, her legs now encircled around your body not wanting to let you go. Her moans and groans gets louder to join you too as both were now in a midst of a wonderful sensation.

"Oh God, you're so tight Nayeon! You're gripping my cock so bad."

"Mmm ughhh yes yes YN pound me faster, harder! You're filling me up inside."

"I'm about to cum, Nayeon!"

"D-do it outside, babe. I'm not safe yet."

Her support and encouragement has what led you to chase the impending finish of your composure as you finally fired the shots of your second load straightly aimed on Nayeon's valley between her breasts, her torso and above her pulsing pussy.

The adrenaline cursing in your veins, pressure and efforts you poured in to assure that you are indeed pleasing your girlfriend's desires has what led you to tire yourself down, sending your body to lay beside Nayeon who is now resting after giving her a great missionary fucking.

"I'm still up for one last round. Care to join me, love?"

"Yeah me too. With you and this great sex were having? Always." She turned her head at you and smiled gracefully.

"She's indeed loyal to me. I have to apologize for her later."  You took a mental note for yourself. Those choice of words that she replied at you fulfilled the reassurance of your trust and safety of your current relationship with her.

Your happiness and gratitude outranked all emotions that the entire 2 years and counting of having Nayeon as your girlfriend won't get interrupted and ended up getting wasted because this woman beside you will remain sharing the same undeniable and unmatched love with you.

You kissed Nayeon again as a gesture on behalf of everything that fills in your heart solely because of her before turning her body sideways, her back is now facing you again as you slapped one of her asscheeks emitting a gasp and hisses from your pretty lady.

Groping her petite breasts while she reaches for your cock to harden again, it didn't last long for your wood to reaawakened before aligning it on the crack of her ass and inches by inches you managed to bury your dick inside Nayeon's rear.

You instinctively felt her move a little to adjust herself at your size so you remained frozen for seconds, not wanting to do it if it'll only result hurting Nayeon. Your main purpose was to have a good time and catch up with all those times you and her haven't got to enjoy being together as couple.

She gave you a few pats on your wrist to signal you that she's now okay, so you hold one of her legs and hooked it up while your other one went beneath on her curves and caressed her breast as you started fucking her in a spooning position.

Claps, moans, grunt and squeaks of the bed were the only noises audible inside the bedroom as you and Nayeon would perform one last make-love and vanilla sex in the middle of the young night.

Her ass was even tighter than her pussy, enveloping and pumps your entire length where at this point you don't know if you can last longer of pounding her from behind.

She reaches for your head and pulled it closer against her, kissing you head while you sync it with your fingers tugging her nipples, squeezing her soft flesh and increased pace of your cock jamming her occupied hole.

Few more strokes is what all it takes for you to meet the brim of your end as you released another batch of your load for the third time inside her reddened peach and fill it without dispute.

You slowly removed your beaten and throbbing cock stained with both of your fluids out of her used, gaped asshole that is now overflowing with a few amount of your cum, dripping down to her ass and thighs.

Nayeon is now cuddling beside you, still both naked in the bed, resting from the effects of engaging such great sex from both lovers. She looks up on you which you noticed from your peripheral vision.

"I really do love you, YN. I hope what we just had tonight speaks it all. D-do you believe me now?"

You looked back at her and flashed a timid smile. "I am. And I'm sorry that it crossed my mind to bring you into this. I-I just missed being close with you, Nayeon. I really thought there's a man out there that is now close to your heart as much as I do.

I got scared, Nayeon. I didn't want to lose my spot. I wanted to keep you close and I don't wanna be hurt and left alone. If ain't gonna be with you then I don't wanna be like that anymore."

Thankfully, Nayeon smiled at your understandable reason; caressing your chest then your hair. She was touched and softened at your frown knowing how sincere you were at your explaining.

"I'm sorry too if I made you feel like that, YN. I didn't meant to do it, I swear. Maybe I got too caught up on hanging out with my friends because I haven't seen them for months. For Junghee, I have no interest in him okay? In fact, he's already seeing another woman."

You looked at her in surprise. "Oh, wait. Really?"

She nodded innocently. "Yup. His smell that you noticed on me a while ago also, well we discussed it in dislike with Jeongie and Ji too that his perfume is very strong our noses couldn’t handle inhaling it too much whenever we get near to him. It kinda annoys me now that when he slipped on the mall and I catched him from his back, his smell passed onto me.”

"Damn it, now I even feel bad that I didn't even let you speak your side." You said with regret as you facepalmed.

Nayeon laughed and slapped your chest not so harshly. "I don't mind about it. Atleast you gave me a great first time sex with you tonight. That's what matters to me now."

"Can't wait for more of this next time." She added as a hot whisper to your ear. You smirked, remembering what she said and definitely you would love to share that level of intimacy with her all over again.

"Oh you don't know how much I look forward to it."

She squeezed herself more into your body, her breast is now compressed to your arm. "I love you, YN. Every single time. I would never look for other, why would I if I have the best man with me that I can cherish for the rest of my life. So please, I'm sorry and don't be afraid anymore babe. I'm staying with you until the end."

You kissed her in the forehead and hold her hand. "I know, and so am I. I forgive you, Nay. I love you too so much that I would literally want to be with you forever."

Both of you kissed again on the lips before none dared to speak after. You observed that Nayeon already slept within your arms.

Tracing the features of this exceptional beauty that chose you out of all the guys around in this world, you can help anymore but to release a few streams of your tears filled with joy based from what Nayeon entirely told you earlier.

There's really no someone else other than you. To think that you would gladly spend the rest of your life with Nayeon, her heart and soul in safe hands; you began to form a new plan in your mind that will place yourselves one step closer to the next chapter of your love story with Nayeon: prepare for your engagement ring and proposal that you will give to her soon.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

HELLOOOOOO

I have been semi stalking and poking my head into this account a lot since I adore fanfic anons content. And I would like to propose my own little AU and maybe fanfics for a later date (keyword, maybe since I may also post these onto my ao3) BUT LE CONSIDER:

Based semi on the AU from user AppleParty on Twitter, mainly just one idea, the one where Alastor is Lucifer’s personal guard, the rest is my own.

Basic gist: Alastor makes a deal with Lucifer. Lucifer grants Alastor all the power he desires, but Alastor has to vow to protect Charlie with his life and try and help parent her as Lucifer knows he is not in the right mental state to do so anymore. So Alastor ends up vanishing for 7+ years to help raise and protect the Princess of Hell, while also having a budding friendship with Lucifer (So Hell's Greatest Dad turns from dad off to a tongue and cheek teasing match).

Everything is fine and dandy, some of the same plot points from the pilot happen instead with the inclusion of Alastor. Vaggie and Alastor also have a more mutual respect but not friends yet relationship. The interview goes horribly wrong and Vaggie has to hold Alastor back from ripping Katie Killjoy’s head off. The scene in the limo is more tense as Angel is avoiding the piss off guard dog that is the radio demon now. Alastor tries to cheer Charlie up by cashing in some favors by calling up Nifty and Husk, probably in this AU, Husk is still not an overlord as Alastor owns his soul still, but Husk has more power and having to raise Charlie probably has matured Alastor more so him and Husk are more on even ground and Alastor looks at Husk as more as an advice giver when he needs it. Nifty is just Nifty. The two agree to work at the hotel as they are doing Alastor a favor and they believe in Charlie’s dream. Alastor is up for debate as he may only be doing this because he has to since he is her personal guard or he actually believes in it. The only thing he will say on the matter is he finds it entertaining and he can’t wait to see the chaos start.

All things are going good, they plan on celebrating and everything until a knock comes to the door. Alastor excuses himself, shooing off Vaggie to tell her she should be with her girlfriend, he will handle the matters. He goes to answer the door, being speaking in a manner tone until he opens his eyes and is greeted to

Vox

BECAUSE YEAH SPOILER ALERT THIS IS A STATICRADIO AU HAHAHAH

Alastor’s smile drops and he hisses in anger and slams the door shut in Vox’s face, not even giving the Overlord a chance to speak as he storms back into the lobby. Cue Charlie having to rush over and mediate everything and bring Vox in, who saw the interview on TV and wants to sponsor the hotel. Because well, hey it would be good money and it would be funny to see Charlie try and redeem sinners. But everyone can TELL there is tension between him and Alastor, like the scary kind of tension when you have no clue if person a is gonna lunge and rip out person b’s throat. But you know its there since they have a history together.

Cue all the hijinks that ensue as Alastor and Vox have to try and repair their relationship while also helping Charlie out with her dream. Also more chaos than normal since Alastor probably accompanies Charlie to more places than in canon.

But that is all hehe. Am gonna give myself a sign off so people know who I am soo

-⚔️aka “Hotel’s Radio Guard AU” (work in title au name) Anon!

I love your energy my friend, on this blog we appreciate fanfic anon, spamming, and all kinds of AUs

The beginning of this is similar to dadstaticradio au (except lucifer instead of lilith ofc) but there is no issue I take with that bc I love it

Also referring to Alastor as guard dog and "Niffty is just Niffty" made me laugh, if you ever do post on Ao3 pls tag me in it or sent a link in asks and I'll share it on your behalf

[armandaughter]

like i didn’t just say this. something absolutely nasty coming for resident evil ada and leon enjoyers tn <333

i want to make an ao3 specifically for my nsfw fics i don't want my irls knowing me like that sigh

[spookyquill]

Hi! Saw you're taking JJK requests and here I am. I'm sick and just not getting out of bed so kind of wanted a fic with Satoru where hebwas away for a mission and got back only to find his wife sick (like, nothing life threatening. Just a cold or fever or something) so he decides to take care of her but she feels bad because he's so busy and has to 'deal with her being sick', especially after he just got back from a mission. Thank you so much if you decide to do it! I'm on a different account right now but please tag @ladyodpandemonium if you write the fic so I can catch it. Big thanks!!!

Apologies for the delay, trying to focus on myself and that includes letting some requests go. But I have some drafts ready to post so look out for them.

@ladyodpandemonium

~•~

Bleary eyes open, your head pounding despite the long rest you just took. Snot drips down from your nose and onto the pillow you rest on. With a disgusted groan, you reach over to your bed side table and pull out a couple tissues from the box. As you hold the tissues to your nose, you take notice of the other things occupying your table.

A couple boxes of pills and a glass of water sit there idly next to the box of tissues. They had not been there when you collapsed on your bed. You didn’t even think of those things. Which really meant only one thing.

Gojo kneeled in front of you, his concern etched on his face as he gently tucked your hair behind your ear.

You groan in contentment. “You’re supposed to be on a mission.”

“I’ve completed that. I came home expecting you to be doing pointless chores or something, but instead I’ve found you cuddled up sick in bed.” Gojo sighs, moving his hand to cup your cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve left the mission early to come take care of you.”

You lean into his touch, his palm cool against your flush skin. “I didn’t want to disturb you- wait.” You lift your head up, looking for your phone. “What day is it?”

Gojo gently guided your head back to your pillow, silencing your search. “It’s Thursday. How long have you been sick for?”

Panic washes over you. “Shit. I came to bed on Tuesday. Shit I overslept!” You sit up, ignoring the pulsing headache beginning to take shape. “Why didn’t my alarm go off?!”

Gojo is quick to stop your attempts to get up, standing and keeping your ass on the mattress with his hand on your shoulders. “You obviously needed the sleep. Stay in bed, you need to rest.” When you stop fighting against him, mainly because of the overbearing headache, he moves to sit on the side of your bed, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead and grimacing. “Have you eaten anything?”

You tried to eat something before you went to your bedroom, but everything in the fridge made you nauseous and you couldn’t think enough to cook or heat up some food. Your growling stomach answers gojos questions before you can verbalise any response.

Gojo nods. “Stay here. I’ll heat up some soup for you.”

You shake your head, which protests angrily at the movement. “No, I don’t want to get you sick. I’ve already bothered you enough. You shouldn’t have to deal with me being sick. You’ve been so busy and I don’t want to get you sick because of me.”

Gojo lifts a finger to your chin, tilting it up to look at his sparkling blue eyes. “Nothing matters but you at the moment. I’ll never be too busy for you and I don’t want you to think that you’re a bother to me at all. You take priority over everything else in this world.” He presses a soft kiss to your temple. “Now stay right here, lean against the head rest while I go prep some soup for you. I want you to have something to eat. Keep your energy up.”

You sigh in defeat, mumbling an agreement as he walks out the room. It doesn’t take long for him to come back, but he walks back in to find you almost falling asleep again.

“Baby, I know you’re tired still but I would really appreciate you having something to eat.”

You grumble, eyes lifting lazily to stare at the soup in his hands. Even the thought of lifting your hands exhausts you. And Gojo sees this.

He walks around to the other side of the bed, soup still in hand, and carefully climbs on top of it, nestling himself beside you. He nudges your body to lean upright against him, your cheek pressed to his chest and one arm falling into his lap. He hears your sigh of relief and can feel your muscles relaxing into him. He brings the soup over to you, spoon sitting in it. He holds the bowl with one hand and grabs the spoon with the other, encasing you with his embrace as he does so.

You watch as he scoops up some soup into the spoon and carefully brings the spoon to your lips. As soon as the soup trickles down your throat, you let out a soft hum.

Gojo continues to spoon feed you the whole soup, thankful that your eating something at least. Once the bowl is empty, he places the spoon down in it and puts the bowl on his bedside table. When he looks back to you, he finds you already snoring softly against him.

He lets out a light chuckle. “Get some sleep babe, I’ll be right here when you wake up, ready to take care of you.”

[stoopid-turtle]

the art of being a skeptical turtle

So this is a personal post more about my experience as a turtle. If you just want to get to the fun list of candies I totally buy into regardless of evidence, just skip down to where the asterisks are. (Consider this like a recipe attached to a blog post)

For those interested in the whole nerdery going on here, let me share that I had a lot of trouble coming to terms with bjyxszd. I wrote a whole series of posts about it to get my thoughts in order. Now I'm fully on the turtle train, but I find myself skeptical of some candies.

This is gonna get super-nerdy so hold on to your butts.

I'm a generally skeptical person. I come by it honestly. My parents literally subscribed to Skeptical Inquirer and Skeptics magazines. They (well, my dad mainly) were capital-S Skeptics. My family talked about logical fallacies, perceptual oddness, and the fallibility of memory over the dinner table.

Please don't back away. I know self-identified Skeptics are typically insufferable. I didn't know this as a kiddo, though, so the whole "thinking about things skeptically" became just my default way of processing stuff. Nowadays, I wouldn't call myself a Skeptic in the way that some in a particularly obnoxious subculture do. But I do tend to be a skeptical sort. I just don't...you know...think it makes me smarter/better/cooler than other folks.

(Actually, it makes me way less cool bc I can single-handedly ruin a fun party by expressing skepticism about something. Nobody likes a wet blanket. I know this)

My bestie in high school always called me Scully to his Mulder. He would believe anything he saw or read, whereas I didn't. Usually, I was right. Like when he totally thought that the Blair Witch Project was real found footage (It's not. Nobody thinks it is now, I know, but it was part of the promo at the time). On occasion, he was right. Like when he told me that some gray clouds we had overheard were from wildfires in Mexico. I scoffed bc, really, we weren't that close to Mexico. But he was right and I learned a valuable lesson on large-scale weather phenomenon. (He's still wrong about there being a picture of a light bulb in the pyramids though)

So, yeah, that's just how I process things. It's second-nature for me. But I reached a point with my generally skeptical outlook where I considered 2 things to see whether I really cared if people were buying into something I thought was false.

The stakes. If a person believes X, what does that lead to? If I don't believe Y, even though it's true, what does that lead to?

There's a whole bunch of political stuff that heightens the stakes. To take a ridiculous (and outdated one), when I was growing up, there was a common story that AIDS hopped from apes to humans because a gay man had sex with an ape and then had sex with other humans. Thus, the AIDS epidemic.

The stakes of other people buying into that homophobic nonsense were (and are) life and death. (If you believe that...uh...bye?) It's something that's worth me being the obnoxious Scully if I hear someone buying into it.

The stakes of, say, my high school bestie believing that The Blair Witch Project was real found footage was...nothing. It just made him want to see the movie more. Nobody was hurt. It didn't matter.

I argued with him at the time, but I probably wouldn't anymore.

The stakes for believing that bjyxszd, here in international fandom, are perhaps higher than the Blair Witch thing. But only barely. If somebody believes in a particular rumor/candy that I don't think is real, it affects literally nothing. We're both still turtles. We have a lot more in common than we do difference with regards to YiZhan. Likewise, the effect of me not believing a candy that may be true is nil. Gg and dd are not impacted in any way.

(I think things may be different for c-fans, but that's not at all a thing I'm qualified to delve into. I can only account for myself in my context)

2. The other thing I consider is the context. That is, how likely are we to know the actual truth?

Scientific claims have a method to test them (and claims that can't be tested are just...not something science addresses). Claims about current events can be researched using journalism methods or whatever. For that homophobic AIDS story, there's ways to prove that it's not true. For the Blair Witch thing...well, the actors went on the talk show circuit for promo so, you know, the real footage myth was quickly lifted.

Celebrities exist in a different context. Like most people, they have a private life that is not accessible to people on the outside. If they choose to open up about that life, then cool. But if they don't or can't do so (like is the case with YiZhan), then they'll try to keep their private life out of sight of fans.

It really hit home to me when I was doing the bts thing how little of dd and gg we saw in the Untamed bts. We see even less of them now. I'm at peace with the fact that I just will never know much about these guys (I wrote a whole post about it). But the fact that there's a big mass of the unknown means that the possibilities are endless. We don't know and we'll never know.

So I don't have any more authority on anything gg or dd related than anybody else does. So why would I attempt to question or dismiss candies that other people find compelling? At the end of the day, there is a truth, but it's not accessible to us, so anything we come up with is just extrapolation.

Which is fine. It's fun. I think there's real stuff going on. (If I didn't, I wouldn't be here) But it means there's no real point arguing about the specific candies.

(and to be clear, I don't see turtles doing this, really. so this is all just me reiterating my own approach to things bc I'm a person who processes thoughts through long tumblr posts apparently) (and it's not a reaction to any particular candy. this post has been in my drafts for ages)

I think I'm a hard sell on a lot of candies, and I'm definitely the fuddy-duddy who just squints and asks a bunch of obnoxious questions about things.

But I ask those questions of myself and don't feel the need to annoy other turtles with them because, honestly, we're all in this boat together. Some candies appeal to particular turtles more than others, and I think we all kinda have our personal preferences for which ones resonate with us. I'm not here to rain on anybody's parade, especially as we all have way more in common just bc we all believe in bjyxszd.

This is all a long-winded way to explain how I think about candies, honestly. Or more, how I assess candies that are new-to-me and figure out whether to buy into it or not. With anything involving bjyx, I also leave a lot of room for there just being an unknown and unknowable. Again, the stakes are low, and if I'm wrong about any particular candy (in either direction), then...oh well? It affects literally nothing.

************************************************************************************************************************************************

So here's the fun part! The list of candies that I fully admit don't have a whole lot going for them (by my stupidly exacting standards) but that I totally buy into just because I like them.

Basically all lip-readings, but especially this one

(if you don't want to click thru, this is the moment from the Nanjing farewell concert where dd and gg seem to flirt about photos while on-stage)

Okay, I know, rationally, that lip-readings are always gonna be shaky. I mean, I've seen Medieval Land Fun-Time World. If I'm honest with myself, I know that the lip-readings are basically fluffy candy.

But whatever. I choose to believe them. This moment, especially, I adore (and it does come with dd posting a bare-faced photo after!). I think their big grins while openly flirting with each other on stage just jazzes me enough to pretend.

It's all true. I totally believe it.

Related to this is:

2. Any and all CPN about dd and/or gg seeing turtle signs and smiling or otherwise reacting positively.

I've seen such CSI-worthy analysis of sight-lines to try to establish with precision where dd or gg is looking at the moment they smile/look happy. I have no idea how much any of it holds up, and it's not worth the bother to try to confirm any of it.

But whatever. I like it. I believe it. I'll probably believe it everytime it happens.

3. Advanced Bombology.

So there's some things that aren't in dispute here. We definitely know that gg suddenly cut an Olay commercial ad from a 2 day shoot to a 1 day shoot, and it's a reasonable assumption that he did so to be at the DDU anniversary episode with GG.

The rest is a little fuzzy. The video details dd being kinda grouchy in interviews before the DDU shoot, and it also shares an anon rumor from a person who claimed to overhear dd in a studio restroom arguing on the phone with gg. This rumor came out a year after the event.

The rest of the video is some interpretation of the boys' behavior/mood in the DDU anniversary ep.

So, like, I get that anon rumors a year on maybe aren't the most solid evidence for anything. But whatever, I buy it.

And the interpretation of the boys' mood seems true to me, especially the moment where the interviewer asks gg if they'd discussed his visit ahead of time. Gg def does a sweatdrop, panic pause, look at dd moment and waits for dd's lead to answer. I find a lot of mood interpretation from videos a bit much, but this feels real.

In fact, the whole thing just feels real. Maybe that's why it's easy for me to buy. It feels like a real argument a couple would have.

4. The 5/22 fight during CQL shooting.

I talked about this back when I was doing the bts in order.

In tl;dr, dd gives gg a bit of a brush-off response to something. gg responds by cold shouldering him and then doing some passive aggressive sniping about how dd doesn't want gg to care about him. dd gets upset, then he apologizes, then they go on to watch something on one of their phones.

The basis of this one is some gossip plus a video shot from a distance that requires reading lips. So we know that's already fuzzy, and I know I approached this with some skepticism in my earlier post. That was just to be rational about things so as to be honest with myself.

In truth, I buy it. I buy the argument. I buy the lip-reading. Again, it feels real.

5. GG's card to turtles

This is one of those frustrating ones I'm having trouble refinding. Darn.

The upshot, and I'm going from memory, is that there's a CPN about a card written to turtles ostensibly from gg. This came with some handwriting comparison to try to match the signature to gg's known signature.

This isn't something I'd place bets on, because...seriously, it's so fuzzy.

But in my heart, I believe it for no reason other than that I want to.

6. DD as gg's mystery driver

Okay, there's a couple such incidents. One quite recently. Where gg's driver is mysteriously masked such that you can't see their face.

And, truth, it could be literally anybody under there. But for me, it's dd. No need to give me painstaking comparisons of hands or whatever. I'm fully in on this one.

7. The bone necklace.

Ack, don't hate me for this one!

When I was doing my posts about stuff that had convinced me that gg and dd were still together, I stumbled with the bone necklace. To me, it's the main thing that convinces me, but if I'm honest, it really is kinda a leap of faith thing.

With the ox-head necklace, we have the fancam footage to back it up as being from gg. All we have for the bone necklace is the timing and the precedent of dd having already worn a necklace from gg. That's shaky, really.

In fact, I think I saw some other dd CP claiming the bone necklace as theirs (I saw them also claiming the Leica camera). I think they're wrong, but I don't have any solid proof to say so.

I think the most I can say is that there are much harder evidences that gg and dd are still together. But these typically involve massive privacy violations so I'm not eager to spread them around (I kinda hate that I stumble upon them, tbh). But in any case, it has me convinced, so if I already know gg and dd are a couple, then of course the bone necklace is related.

But on its own, the bone necklace is a leap.

Okay, that all said, since I (finally) had a photo of dd last time I posted, I'm dropping a random gg photo here. Not my favorite, cause pls don't make me choose, but one that hangs out my head throughout the days.

[sagelasters]

to whoever stumbles upon this

this certain video popped up on my youtube feed just in time when i needed it. i just spent an hour crying in the bathroom, and i felt like there is a lot i want to let out. i've been into loa for a while, this account was created mainly to scroll through tumblr. i never plan to actually post something but...it just felt right to. the philosophy of our mind and ego fascinated me, multiple philosophers from classical and contemporary times have talked about it, they just defined it in their own terms (Plato, Aristole, etc).

Our world is build on limited beliefs and i know people will call me crazy, especially when i told them that everything starts within us. we are consciousness, we still consciousness without the five senses, what we assume to be true, it will show up on the physical realm. it took me two years to realize that and looking past my doubts. life is hard, i find that living is pain but it doesn't have to be that way. i was born in a chaotic, angry family where bitter adults tried to live through me because they couldn't achieve their dreams. they are always comparing themselves to their friends and relatives, why are other people thriving while we're suffering? i would ask myself that till i realized they had that horrible mindset in the first place.

Their mindset influenced me, i spent my childhood and teenage years shaming my own body. i confined myself in a shell of fear, never wanting to take risks and putting myself out there. i became cynical to avoid the disappointment i already had to face from dead-beat parent and abusive family. now i am 18, a month away from high school graduation, and 4 months away from attending university. i mourned for my teenage years, i regret not realizing sooner. but it's okay, i can start over, i can change my life. it doesn't hurt to try, im tired of holding myself back, im just so tired. persisting in my assumptions despite not seeing it in the 3D, doesn't hurt as much as trapping myself in this cycle of suffering. i know i was built for more, i know this reality isn't for me so i am changing it. i am in control.

if you allow your mind to be a place of war, constant fear and sadness, it'll reflect on your reality. now i know it's not easy to just be happy, staring at the reflection in the mirror, the smile forcing itself on your tear-streaked face. it takes a while to realize, to figure it all, but i promise it'll eventually hit you. when it does hit you, that's when you learn to practice, to make new assumptions.

i know this is pretty long, thank you for your time if you're still reading this. i really just had to get it out, ive been holding it back or didn't know how to articulate my ideas well. but for some reason clarity hit me and i couldn't miss the opportunity. we are limitless. we are not confined to suffering, as much as i am grateful for the life lessons it gave me. we are limitless. be kind to yourself, we were built to care, to be nourished in love for as long as our souls are tattered to this Earth. i know you can do this <3