#this post is literally so leela no one understands her like i do

[theladyfae]

SO REAL and that is because of. her.

(as @hanaasbananas and i screamed about a bit ago)

character who is sun-coded but not in the traditional ray-of-sunshine way. character who is sun-coded in the sense that they burn hot and bright and powerful, that they're a raging fury of fire and passion, and that maybe, just maybe, they are destroying themselves as they do so.

[recycledbeercans]

Good god I can’t do this. I gotta break my personal rule to not make txt posts on the internet because I GOTTA say something or I’m going to burst.

I cannot, cannot, for the life of me understand Freela as a ship.

I think most ppl are more willing to give it a pass or just shrug and say it’s cute because no one dislikes Fry or Leela as characters, and hell, I don’t even dislike Leela (she’s awesome, I love her, 11/10) but I cannot wrap my head around WHY this ship is canon when it’s written so fucking badly. I’m not even against het ships bc I have plenty I absolutely love, but this one just hits a nerve in me and it grates me even more every time I rewatch Futurama. The older I get, I’ve gone from initially finding it cute to just, loathing it.

Hhrgh ok before people point pitchforks at me, lemme try to explain… my thoughts are kinda all over the place but my biggest gripe with Freela is that it is so ONE-SIDED and FORCED. Leela NEVER shows interest in Fry unless her other options (literally anyone else) don’t work out. She views Fry as childish, immature, and bosses him around much to Fry’s dislike. Most of the time (if not exclusively) whenever she shows any appreciation for Fry, it’s over what he does for her, but she never shows interest in doing anything back for him. You never see her make any grand gestures of love or affection towards Fry.

And ok, yeah, when Fry is saving her life by giving her his oxygen, or jumping in front of a killer bee to try to protect her, it’s easy to go “aww” and want them to end up together. But, at least for me, I realized most of that was directed at how I found it sweet that Fry cares about Leela, not that the two of them are a good couple. Fry loves Leela enough to give his life for her and try to protect her, (but he also feels similarly about Bender, in godfellas really the only reason he even eventually gave up in looking for Bender was because Leela convinced him it was time to move on), but it’s, genuinely something that makes me sad because when does Leela ever return that energy? She doesn’t. Fry pines over her for YEARS in the show timeline and she just constantly turns him down and rejects him, and shows blatant disinterest, until she almost seems worn down because none of her other options are working out.

And maybe you want them to end up together, because you want Fry to be happy, but it sticks out so sorely that Fry isn’t the kind of person Leela wants. Without even getting into how uncomfortable the writing is with Fry constantly pestering and pushing himself onto her and whining that she won’t date him when she explicitly tells him no over and over (the way Futurama treats consent wigs me out but that’s a whole different topic), whenever Leela does show interest in Fry, it’s NEVER because Fry is someone she would pursue or even sees potential in.

This is constantly reinforced throughout the show, such as in the episode where the parasites allow Fry to express his feelings for Leela in a romantic way, the climax/takeaway is that Leela is won over by Fry’s romantic gestures that fit what she wants, but has no interest in him as a person or his gestures when it comes from himself, and even feels grossed out by him at the end.

In The Devil’s hands are idle playthings, ok, yeah, Leela let’s Fry finish his song at the end, and you can say it’s sweet that she listens, but if anything it just feels sad because Fry is trying to express his love for her, and because it’s not ~good~, she’s not even watching with the intent to date him or return the feelings, she just lets him pour his heart out to her I guess, just because, to be nice? is it pity?

Everything about it makes me sad at how empty it all feels! You see a character like Fry be so affectionate and loving, and Leela on the other hand is clearly more independent and goal oriented so she’s not really the kind of person Fry would really get to have his energy matched with.

Not to mention in The Sting, throughout Leela’s whole fever dream after being poisoned, she never expresses missing or wanting to be with Fry because she loves him, she just constantly states that she feels responsible and guilty for his death, but her subconscious has Bender state that Fry is the one person he always excluded from “kill all humans”.

Even in Bender’s Big Score, Leela isn’t interested in Lars (older Fry) because he is like Fry. Lars is a completely different personality, much more mellowed out, completely lacking in basically every characteristic that makes Fry, well, Fry (can you even consider Lars to be Fry when he doesn’t even express anything towards his first friend he made in the future, Bender? lol). I think the point the writers were trying to get at is that Fry still had some growing or maturing to do, but honestly, it’s presented in the worst way possible. Fry is, what?, in his late 20s/early 30s in the show timeline by this point, is he really supposed to wait until he’s like 40 so he’s finally “good enough” for Leela? Is he supposed to become a completely different person so she’ll finally see him as dating material? Like, everything about this is basically just saying that Fry can have Leela, but only if he stops being Fry. Meanwhile, in this same movie, Bender cries for a thousand years because he was forced to kill Fry, and immediately runs and jumps into his arms as soon as he sees Fry is ok. Then to make it even worse, after Leela realizes Lars WAS Fry, she still didn’t decide to try a relationship with Fry, making it apparent she does not see Fry as Lars. They may as well just be different people. Plus, Lars was just, being romantic and suave and wooing her, and once again there wasn’t really anything she was doing to pursue him...

The whole series focuses on Fry having to change himself to be what Leela wants in a romantic partner, never Leela actually liking Fry for being himself. She can’t stand most of his habits, and it throws me even more for a loop that the focus is on Fry having to figure out the right way to win her over, as if if you perform a certain amount of steps properly, you can get someone to like you. It’s just, bad.

Like why is their relationship written SO BAD?! It’s so so so bad.

You can’t tell me that Fry and Leela are supposed to end up together when their romantic chemistry is in the negative, Fry has to both push himself onto Leela, make constant one-sided grand gestures to win her over, give his life for her multiple times, and change his entire personality to be appealing to her over YEARS, and she has to fail with everyone else to finally consider him.

MEANWHILE, Bender, fucking Bender, is so happy to be Fry’s roommate, considers Fry the most important person in his life, is always hugging him, throwing himself at Fry, shows open affection, cries over him, becomes sober when Fry doesn’t give him attention. Even Bender’s negative traits, like his possessiveness, jealousy, are directed at Fry in such an intense manner, that regardless of whether or not it’s healthy, it’s just, precious? sweet? The lengths he’ll go to for Fry’s attention and approval. The entire ending of Beast with a billion backs is Bender being unable to handle not being with Fry and so getting him back, and Yivo feeling cheated on because Fry sent a letter to Bender, meanwhile Leela wanted nothing to do with Fry and even said she needed space from him. Bender loves Fry just the way he is. Fry doesn’t have to change himself to be with Bender, they already live together, they have the same interests (I don’t even think Fry and Leela share interests), they love to goof off and laugh together, Fry is just, himself around Bender. He’s happy around Bender. All these things that make me throw up my hands and ask why Fry and Leela weren’t written this way if they were supposed to get together.

In the episode where Fry is a mutant, Leela wouldn’t even touch him, while Bender just threw himself into Fry’s arms.

And like, here’s the thing, Leela and Fry as characters don’t even have a bad dynamic on paper. Like, I get it! The tough girlboss type character and her dorky idiot bf IS a cute dynamic, but the writers just, wrote them so badly? Like, even if you try to argue it’s to follow the trope of “will-they-won’t-they”, you could easily do that without Leela showing negative interest in Fry? Without Fry having to force himself on her? It could have just been that she DOES want to date him but has hang ups about relationships, or that Fry is too scared to confess to her, if they could have just have, a natural progression of growing closer without all the forced shit inbetween of Fry begging her to date him and Leela saying no and showing her blatant disinterest a million times.

I know some people like to poly ship Fry, Leela, and Bender also but even as someone who is 100% on board w/ poly ships, I can’t see that here either because neither Bender or Fry really are what, Leela wants.

But don’t get me wrong, Fry, Bender and Leela have a great dynamic, those three interacting is WHY I watch the show, but Leela very much exudes mom-friend energy, like she has to chaperone these two dorks and so it’s not really about her getting her needs met...

So uh yeah, i think there’s more I want to say, I could pick out so many specific examples but I’ll stop this here because it’s getting long, maybe i’ll write an essay. But,,

Freela sucks.

Actually the ship just pisses me off I’m not even going to give it the “well they are cute” treatment. I want to see Fry have his clingy, affectionate energy matched because it just makes me sad to think about the fact that he wouldn’t get that from Leela, but Bender would absolutely baby and smother him in affection and return his energy 110%, as he should. Bender loves Fry exactly as the idiot manchild he is.

Those two should have ended up together, or at the very least Freela shouldn’t have been canon. But whatever, I know ppl will say it’s a product of its time, but good god it still pisses me off how mediocre the writing is.

I’m FUCKING FERAL I’M FOAMING AT THE MOUTH OVER THIS.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

idk how many people would even want to see this BUT i wanna yell about Leela and Brax so here's a list of all their scenes togethr/scenes pertainng to them that i can recall (pLEASE add on if i missed anything/ you have any additional thoughts!! i could talk about these two all day!)

right off the bat in Weapon of Choice when Leela is on the outskirts of the Citadel and Brax goes to bring her back (which is interesting in and of itself, bc usually i would imagine a chancellery guard would go do that so what made Brax decide to instead??), Leela kinda goes off at him bc she's hurting and instead of trying to actually explain what's going on Brax doesn't even try to argue he just says "we need you" which is great bc Leela has that instinctive desire to be needed and to help people and he's speaking right to that -- also as far as we know, this is Leela and Brax's first actual meeting in canon? it's implied that they know of each other, which makes sense, but it doesn't seem like they've ever directly interacted before: Brax seems almost slightly uncertain, and Leela is combative, but when he's gentle with her she's actually quite receptive

the literal next scene after that, where the OT4 is all in one room for the first time (they still kinda hate each other at this point but still !!!). Narvin explaining Gryben and being a real jerk about it and Leela (understandibly!) questions if Gryben is a prison world, and Brax (who to this point has been mostly quiet as Narvin and Romana brief Leela) jumps in to both clarify Narvin's previous xenophobic statements while also maintaining the inherent questionable/negative connotations

(btw it's actually pretty important to note that Romana self-edits herself a lot when talking to Leela, especially in the earlier seasons; you can actually hear her revising the things she says to put it in terms that she thinks Leela will better understand. and i mean she does it out of genuine consideration for her friend associate but it often comes across as varying levels of patronizing. Narvin also obviously "dumbs things down" when dealing with Leela early on, but like... Brax never does that on any level. the only difference i can tell in how he addresses Leela vs how he talks to anybody else is that he seems much more kind with her than almost anyone else???)

their conversation about the Matrix in The Inquiry: this is REALLY important (and if you've ever talked to me on ao3 i've probably gone off to you about it lol) because it's layered. they're talking about the Matrix but they're also not because in answering Leela's question Brax is making a very thinly veiled allegory (which he outright states a minute later) to Time Lord society/politicians/most importantly HIMSELF -- he's actually strangely open about his morals/beliefs in this scene and i'm living for it tbh -- and i find it very interesting that even though he does directly explain what he means ("how do you know all this?" / "because i am a politician.") he also leaves it for Leela to work out the implications. like it's a very nuanced conversation bc there's double meaning in it and most people on Gallifrey seem to think that Leela is tone-deaf and can't pick up on that stuff (even Romana sometimes oversimplifies things to her) but Brax totally just lets her take from it what she will bc he believes her intelligent enough to understand. he doesn't think her any lesser because she's human.

ALSO on a secondary note to the above: the fact that Leela has a question/needed clarification (sorry, haven't listened to this in a while i forget how it actually happened) and actively sought out Brax to talk to about it?? like she knows Romana better she could have gone to her but i feel like Leela kinda imprinted on Brax and someone she can go to for help if she needs it; maybe it's partly bc she knows he's under marginally less pressure than Romana is but also the truth of the matter is that Brax was the most genuinely helpful person to her in the previous stories and that probably means a lot to her (esp. bc he acts like the essence of everything she hates about Gallifrey but he doesn't treat her the way she would expect from that). btw this topic is gonna come up again in a hot minute

that part where Brax gives her that information that might help her re: the Andred thing, even though he really probably shouldn't have done that -- it kinda makes me think about what he must have been like with Theta tbh???

actually this is mostly my own conjecture but there's some neat stuff in Spirit bc during the *waves hand vaguely* bodyswap dream sequence thing, Romana is very "!!!! Brax can help us !!!" which is tecnically Leela brain talking, so like there's the implications of the stuff i've said above about Leela having this idea of Brax where she knows he's someone she can go to for help

can u tell i'm soft for them

Leela sounding really sad/distracted when she talks about how Brax isn't there YES i'm grasping at straws but a lot of this relationship really is conveyed through the voice acting bc of how little direct focus there is on the characters. there's actually several scenes in Mindbomb where she mentions him and she outright says that she misses him during her discussion with Matthias

that implied scene with them in Mindbomb!! i have a Lot of thoughts about that!!! it's all conjecture and fanfic fodder!!! but the reason i mention this is because it seems pretty meta that out of the whole Gally Gang, it's Leela who first sees Brax when he comes back to Gallifrey and in turn she's the first person (besides Matthias, i guess) that he sees upon his return?? idk i just feel like that's somehow a meaningful detail??? also her reaction of utter shock after spending the entire episode missing him and how worked up she is when she tries to tell Romana, like I desperately need to know what happened in this missing scene MR RICHARDS PLEASE TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED

Leela insisting on going with Brax when Pandora starts hurting him and their whole conversation there is just. so good. like they're both just so soft and then when Darkel comes in Leela instantly goes into protective mode. like they just have such an open relationship bc Brax doesn't even try to be all pretentious with her, like he doesn't even try to keep up any facades when he's with her he's just very genuine and it really says a lot about both of them -- Leela is so good at seeing people, like getting down to the core of who people are and what makes them them (which is why she's good for Romana, btw, bc Romana has a lot of identity issues) and Brax is so tangled up in who he presents himself as that he barely knows who he actually is anymore but Leela can see that and she makes it so he can truly be himself and he doesn't have to hide. also she's so gentle with him when they talk about Pandora, she's very caring and empathetic and wants to make sure he's okay and i am WEAK

it's been a hot while since i listened to Panacea but I think i remember Brax being really soft with Leela when he first brings the gang to the Axis, like just sounding really glad to see her

ok other than the fact that Brax is lowkey relatable in Reborn (daydreaming fanfic about yourself/people you know? simping for Mary Tamm Romana? yeah mood, my man) there's that scene where they're first appraoching the Citadel on the alt!Gallifrey and it seems like none of them, and Brax specifically, have seen it from the outside in a good long while bc he's very in awe and he tells Leela that he wishes she could see it and he sounds sO hEcKiNg sOFT oh my word-

and once again with Leela thinking of Brax as someone she trusts for help: in Dissassembled when everything is going to crap she straight-up says that she wants to go find Brax bc he'll know what to do/be able to help

at the beginning of Annihilation when Romana is depressed and questioning if Brax truly was her friend and Leela INSTANTLY, NO HESITATION assures her that he was; i lost where i had her exact lines written down but she actually kinda goes off to make sure Romana gets the point

literally forcing myself to talk about this bc it makes my brain stall out but like,,, the Brax Hound in Annihilation,,, Leela being like "goodbye, Braxiatel... again" she sounds so sad and like UGH i always kinda forget how sad it actually is for them to lose Brax in Dissassembled bc like, it was so sudden and they didn't get to say goodbye and Leela is always losing people and i have many many feels about this scene and how all that emotion is made very clear in how they each respond to the Hound (might make a separate post abt this later if anyone is interested ::eyes::)

Enemy Lines is utter bullcrap about these two and I will never stop being salty about how they not only sidelined the very good, very subtle friendship they had in s1-4, but they??? made Leela acutally not trust Brax??? when literally this entire time she's been the one person who probably genuinely trusts him the most?? what the heck, David

I haven't heard TW3 or 4 yet but i'm assuming there's nothing worthwhile in those with regards to this duo (correct me if i'm wrong tho lol, i would love to be mistaken in this assumption)

TL;DR Leela and Brax mututally imprinted on each other and have probably the most open and healthy relationship within the OT4 and it is an absolute CRIME that nobody besides Gary Russell and Justin Richards cared enough to actually build on it in canon

[magicofthepen]

Gallifrey Relisten: Spirit

This reaction post is almost 4,000 words long, which, given the episode in question.....is very on brand for me. So here have a whole lot of ramblings, in which I go back and forth between “I love this so much” and “hmm yes I do think Spirit is overhyped by virtue of being The Romana/Leela Episode,” and back and forth between “I will be objective and not get overtly shippy about this” and “I’m definitely getting overtly shippy about this.” 

(Includes discussion of The Apocalypse Element, the rest of Series 2, Intervention Earth and Enemy Lines, also a bit about Time War 3, but only in the last section.) 

Things that are absolutely not overrated and deserve every bit of the hype:

1. The premise

Like, hold on. Hold on. Here we have an entire episode resting on the premise of “Romana wants Leela to stay on Gallifrey so badly that in spite of being y’know, the President of a planet, and specifically a planet currently undergoing major social changes and dealing with evil eldritch beings, the #1 most important thing for her to do with her time is take Leela on a private vacation off world to convince Leela why she should stay on Gallifrey.” (Hint: it’s. it’s for Romana.) 

She also then proceeds to be very bad at using her words when it comes to this premise because Romana is all into grand gesture and very little into actually talking about her feelings. Of course. But in an episode that rests on the idea of Romana as the Rational, Logic-Driven One, and Leela as the Instinctive, Emotion-Driven One, it is very good that the premise of the episode is entirely driven by Romana’s emotions. (Wait. Am I going to talk myself out of the idea that Spirit creates these overly simplistic contrasts between Romana and Leela by arguing that it also muddies them at the same time? .....I still think the “overly simplistic” thing is true to an extent. But stay tuned.)

2. The core emotional story

I’m deeply into Gallifrey for the relationships between the main characters, so Spirit is vastly appealing on that front. 

The central question of Spirit is: can Leela trust Romana? Leela’s been deeply betrayed by her husband, she feels lost and adrift and she’s doubting her own ability to judge people. (“He stood before me as Torvald, and I did not know him. I had thought myself to have a keener eye.” / “But is his the only trust I may have given in error?”) Leela’s doubting her own instincts specifically, which is why it’s so important that this episode has Romana move from being more dismissive of Leela’s instinctive, emotional approach to the world, to understanding where Leela’s coming from and appreciating her instincts and worldview. Leela needs to trust not just Romana, but also herself.

And it is 1. important to explore this! Shoutout to Gallifrey for not brushing aside the emotional repercussions of Andred’s betrayal on Leela’s close relationships in general and her own image of herself! and 2. intersects in super fascinating ways with Romana’s trust issues.

Romana gets a hard time for the “valuable asset” thing, which. Fair. But I think it is important to acknowledge the premise here — the whole vacation, everything Romana is actually doing screams “I care about you very much on a personal level,” and just because she isn’t saying that doesn’t mean she isn’t showing that. Because she has her own baggage when it comes to friendship and trust, and a lot of that does loop back around to “being imprisoned for twenty years and having no one come to save you really messes you up. on so many levels.” 

(Also I have to mention the end of The Apocalypse Element because that last scene with the Doctor and Romana really established how I looked at Romana and her close personal relationships moving forward. Because yeahhhh maybe having the one (1) person who is specifically your Friend (and not your colleague, or advisor, or anything related to The Presidency) go “yeah you can clean up this mess right! cool bye!” after you’ve gone through decades of trauma immediately followed by needing to repel an invasion of your planet....maybe that might make you distrust that anyone in the universe is actually going to care about you as a person anymore, and not see you as The President of Gallifrey first and foremost). 

Bottom line: Romana really, really likes Leela (.....we all can decide in what way....), but also has a whole lot of doubt that other people could care about her as a person, doubt that it’s even worth letting herself be that emotionally vulnerable with someone else, because what if they throw her trust and care back in her face? And so this whole episode, there’s this undercurrent of wanting to trust each other and wanting to care about each other simmering under the surface for the both of them, but they’re both having trouble really seeing and believing what each other is feeling and I love it. I love this kind of interesting, complicated relationship struggle so much, and I love how Spirit has a positive ending, where they both manage to convey to each other in one way or another that they really do want to be around each other. ( “I was so alone in the world of dreams when you left. The wildlands were dark and so quiet. I do not wish to be alone.” / “There will be a place for you with me, for always. Whatever face I wear.” ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) 

(Sure, the later episodes of the season fuck everything up again, but we are Not Talking about Insurgency/Imperiatrix here.) 

(We are also Not Talking about Intervention Earth/Enemy Lines....okay I’ll talk a little about IE/EL, but only because when relistening to Spirit there’s this sort of elephant in the room with “There will be a place for you with me, for always. Whatever face I wear.” And that elephant is the writers deciding that when Romana regenerated, she would abandon Leela, which...hmmm. To be fair, I have lots of more complex, specific thoughts about what might have happened emotionally and literally in that thankfully jettisoned timeline, but the bottom line is that I was and still am very *side eyes* at that writing choice.) 

3. The chair scene

Oh my god. Oh my god. This scene is actually brilliant and delightful on every relisten, I want it framed please?? 

I think it’s probably iconic because it’s just so happy, and it is so so wonderful to have a moment like that, with the two of them making up a silly story to Hallan about what happened to the window and laughing about it. And it is good! It’s so good! (A side note: Romana in particular in this episode has that “audibly smiling” tone of voice so so much more than usual, in addition to her overall tone having very clearly shifted away from “presidential” for the majority of the episode and y’all.....it’s so excellent to hear, that is such a rare thing.)

Also specifically, it’s the fact that Leela is like ugh this room is too stuffy :( and Romana immediately is like “I must fix this, I need to make her happy” and does something so ridiculous and impulsive just to please Leela.......again, this episode is pulling a Romana Has Too Many Feelings and is acting on her emotional instincts thing......yes. 

“You’re a breath of it yourself in the Capital.” “Oh Romana, nice words will not make me stay.” I’m sorry but Romana’s delivery of this line is so flirtatious? (And Leela going ah no, you can’t flirt your way out of this.) 

Things that are......not good:

1. The science vs. spirituality dichotomy (and how it makes the characters look)

The whole evolution vs. creation discussion thing not only feels too simplistic for the characters, but it also feels like it’s deliberately painting Leela in a negative light? To have Leela specifically going I don’t believe in evolution when the audience is going to disagree with her and bounce off of that....yeah. It also feels like the whole exaggerated ~super in tune with nature, doesn’t know or believe things about science~ thing is leaning into the racist indigenous stereotypes her character is too often linked to.

And on top of that, it doesn’t feel in character? Classic Who episodes don’t stick in my brain that well so my memory isn’t super clear on the details, but Leela was banished from her tribe for questioning their beliefs. Plus she learned that her society’s social divisions were based on misinformation and forgotten history (having more information was important, it changed things for her world). And she was the one who wanted to leave and travel, and also has always showed a lot of interest in learning new things. To have Leela so deeply clinging to the beliefs she learned when she was young, without any of that questioning or the nuance of weaving in new things she’s learned with the old......it feels reductive. (There could be so much more nuance here re: how living so long away from the Sevateem and having to defend her background so much on Gallifrey has affected her relationship with the culture and beliefs she grew up in, but Spirit has none of that.) 

2. The mindswap’s lack of nuance 

There’s a similar issue here with the mindswap, where Leela especially comes off as over-simplified. I don’t know if this was an acting choice or a directing choice, but the over-the-topness of Lalla’s performance during the mindswap really feeds that (the way Romana’s voice sounds so different when she’s “acting like Leela”, while Leela still sounds fundamentally like herself when she’s acting more like Romana — why the difference?). Also, Romana is a lot more helpless and distressed when she has part of Leela in her mind, which again, does not make Leela come off as especially competent (even though she is). There are times when this episode feels like it’s trying harder to put Romana and Leela into these boxes than it is at trying to break down those boxes and yeah, all around I wish there was more nuance.

3. The interrupting of the vacation date, damn it, do you think I care about a “plot”?

Alright, alright this one is not in the same category as the other two. It is absolutely not a valid criticism, it is purely the “I want this audio to cater to me, personally” part of my brain getting disappointed every time I relisten when Wynter crashes the vacation. Specifically, when they’re all alone in the woods together having important personal conversations and Leela’s decided that they’re camping out for the night....maybe I just wanted to hear the overnight camping trip, y’know. Maybe I just wanted them to cuddle beneath the stars. (Also this will come back big time next episode, but I very much back away from horror of Wynter’s mutilation, I am a squeamish person and the Wynter thing is not my favorite plot.) 

Misc liveblogging things: 

“I’m sorry I had to have you dragged here to my quarters. I have requested an audience with you several times on a matter of security but have received no answer.” — It’s unclear exactly how much time has passed between Lies and Spirit, but not too long(?) and Leela’s been trying to track down Andred a lot during this time (which means that once again, Romana’s specifically taking Leela away from looking for Andred....).

Leela scathingly calling Romana “Madam President” oof. (I think this moment may have been what I was thinking of re: Leela only uses Romana’s title when she’s annoyed or angry, will have to note if/when it happens again.) 

“It is your world and not mine. Although I have lived here for many years it has never been my home. And I am unhappy.” I know I’ve said this before, but Leela’s concept of home is very much the people she cares about and hhhhh so many feelings about this throughout the series.

Oof Darkel’s got Romana pegged with the “how far will she go” thing.

Is Narvin......being nice re: Romana having a trying time? Or sarcastic? Or is he just like oh thank god she’s off the planet for a hot sec I can take a breath. 

Brax saying it was him that recommended Romana leave and insisting they don’t talk about it — he’s sooo covering for her, but also I want to know how that convo went....how exactly did Romana explain the “I’m going to take Leela on a private vacation off-world for.....personal reasons.....please cover for me slash be my emergency contact” thing? 

“So I can only conclude from your recent behavior that you’re experiencing a considerable amount of pain.” — I mean, Leela did explicitly say earlier that she was unhappy. Still, it is a really good moment here — Romana saying I see that you’re hurting and I want to help. 

.......and that’s right before “valuable asset” line. You were doing so good, Romana. (She does say friend though! I mean, she says it like it’s an ordeal, but she does immediately course correct to admit that Leela’s her friend.) Also....I’m having some kinda thought here about the “asset” line — how she compliments Leela in terms of her usefulness is icky, but I think Romana often judges her own worth based off of how useful she is to Gallifrey? I think there are several moments throughout the series that point to Romana basing her worth as a person off of her work and how successful she is at protecting her world and making it better, which is just an overall unhealthy mindset to be in (and this says something about the toxicity of Gallifreyan culture possibly but also something about the lingering trauma of Etra Prime and living for decades in a place where her life itself (whether she survived) was directly tied to her usefulness...going to mull this over more, but I think there’s something here). 

Hallan is so awful about Leela, and he goes on for a bit about how he should be watching the president at all times — aka there is definitely resentment within the Chancellery Guard towards Leela for taking the role of bodyguard to the president. And this is mixed in with nasty comments about Andred, former member of the Chancellery Guard, for marrying an alien. 

“A marriage is about maintaining the power of the chapters, strengthening alliances between houses” — it is interesting how more than once in the audios they talk about marriage as primarily a political thing in Time Lord culture (at least among the elite), with love being an exception and something disapproved of. 

The “Leela’s been on Gallifrey for twenty-five years” math......does not work. Between The Invasion of Time and the Gallifrey audios, Romana left Gallifrey, ended up traveling with the Doctor for a while, stayed behind in E-space for a while, returned from E-space to Gallifrey, became President, got captured by the Daleks and held prisoner for twenty years, and according to Square One I believe it’s been “years” since The Apocalypse Element.......and apparently only twenty-five years have passed on Gallifrey? Even if we pretend that no time passed on Gallifrey during Romana’s adventures with the Doctor and in E-space, that timeline is still questionable. Leela has to be on Gallifrey for a lot longer than that. 

“I’ve searched for [my purpose] in many places.” — It’s interesting that Romana lists off the places she’s tried to find purpose, but doesn’t say anything at all about Gallifrey — Leela is the one to say that Romana has found her purpose on Gallifrey, Romana never actually says that. (I have...lot of feelings about Romana’s very complicated relationship to Gallifrey.) 

Romana mentions Pandora predicting that she would rule over Gallifrey, and predicting that Romana would let that happen — Romana is worried about Pandora in particular, and also there’s the implication that she wants Leela to stay to help her hold onto herself and prevent that future. 

Just ahhhh the scene by the fire where Leela decides, after avoiding too much discussion about what she’s feeling, to be emotionally honest: “It frightens me to think that I have spent so much of my life with another in a trust that I believed was true and strong, one that could not sicken, and that I was wrong.”; “You are my friend. I know that, for all we disagree on. And yet, if tomorrow you grew sick, you could throw off your form like an old sheet and be a person I would no longer recognize, not with my eyes nor with my heart.” It’s a good scene!!

The whole “who is the broken man?” mystery is good on first listen I suppose, but I’ve never quite bought that they can’t ID him. Can the Time Lords not do a quick DNA test or something? (To be fair, these are the same people who missed that Andred was impersonating someone else for months, but at least here they actively know that they need to be figuring out who he is.)

The herbal remedy — “The outsiders use it when in pain or distress.” Confirmation that Leela does hang out with the outsiders on Gallifrey. 

“I’ve been inside these things I don’t know how many times and I assure you nothing could go wrong.” Post-Etra Prime Romana trying to get some sleep for once tbh (also okay she does have some healthy coping mechanisms apparently). 

“It speaks to your innermost wishes and wonders and indulges them while you dream” “There is a wild woman inside me” I’m so sorry but did they really not intend to making the sensory tanks and mindswap sound incredibly erotic because

“It is winter here.” *eyebrow waggle*

I do not like hearing stabbing sounds! (Also apparently this season has a thing for Romana kinda sorta killing people with knives.) 

Leela wakes up a bit later than Romana (she stays in the dream space longer), and she says she heard Pandora’s voice — Romana dismisses that, but I do wonder what exactly happened in the dreamspace after Romana woke and what additional things Leela might have heard/seen??

Hallan is so shitty, kick his ass Leela.

I do wonder why the subplot with Melyin and Hallan was included? Was it to introduce Hallan as a character and flesh out the side characters so we know them a bit better when they’re around with the Wynter subplot? (Personally, I don’t enjoy how earlier in the episode they keep cutting away from Romana and Leela’s really important and interesting conversation to those two sides characters, so I’m not sure they needed that storyline?) But there is this sort of interesting moment where Melyin talks about freeing herself from this place where she’s isolated and Leela sympathizes — and yet at the same time is choosing to go back to Gallifrey. There is potentially an interesting parallel here, but I’m not exactly sure what the parallel is supposed to be saying about Leela.

“And what about you? Back to Gallifrey and your husband?” “I am returning to Gallifrey, yes. It is not yet time for me to leave.” Leela expertly dodging mentioning Andred in her response or referring to him as her husband. Actually I kinda want to pay more attention to when she does or doesn’t refer to Andred as her husband. I’m pretty sure she calls him her husband after he dies because that is who she’s grieving, but in this episode she talks about wanting to confront him and hurt him or make peace with him, and in A Blind Eye she was all “my husband is dead” (and I think there are some things in Insurgency about this) —there is a question here about whether or not she still considers herself married to Andred at this point.   

How did the knowledge of events get out on Gallifrey? Brax says if people were watching his movements closely it wouldn’t be hard to put things together — but also he probably knows that Romana needs to return for Gallifrey for events to play out, so it seems quite possible that he essentially leaked the info himself (knowing that the events of Pandora are coming....oof). 

Leela talks about returning to Gallifrey avenge the broken man — in series 2 and 3, she frequently turns to vengeance as something to give her motivation and purpose when she’s unhappy and grieving, but I forgot it came up as early as Spirit ahhh yikes. 

The (shippy) elephant in the room:

(Includes vague mentions of Time War 3.) 

As a final thing, I do want to mention that while this episode has a reputation of being really gay (because yep it so so subtextually gay)....I do always remember that it is only subtext. Specifically in a “isn’t it interesting that other ships between main characters get clearly teased as romantic possibility, but when it’s the core relationship of the show that just so happens to be between two characters played by women, they would never explicitly hint that there might be anything romantic going on there” way. (For a long time, I tried to convince myself this didn’t bother me. It does.) 

Like don’t get me wrong, I adore their friendship and I am very cool with their relationship being entirely platonic in the audios. However, my feelings are also very context-dependent, and the context is an audio drama series in which the only explicitly queer characters are side/minor characters who die horribly (and also only exist in the very recent releases). There are no canon f/f relationships or canonically queer women in the entire series (no, Leela/Veega doesn’t count, they were pretty explicit on that being not canon), in contrast with plenty of canon m/f relationships. This is also why I say that I’d be 100% unbothered if Gallifrey really was equal-opportunity devoid of romance (I really genuinely enjoy the friendship-centric narrative of this series, it’s so good) or even had significant canonically queer side characters, but when there’s such a pointed ignoring of any queer subtext and a general ‘would never ever make any main character canonically queer’ vibe throughout the whole series (I am looking at you Unity) it’s.....hmmm. It just doesn’t feel good, you know? 

To end on a lighter (ish) note, going to talk about shippy things for a sec — so I have many headcanon universes that float around in my brain, but generally speaking when I’m writing Romana/Leela fic or thinking about the possibility of their relationship being romantic at some point, I tend to go for things happening between them later in the audios (ideally post-Enemy Lines), with the early series just being endless unresolved tension. But gosh there is a part of me that’s interested in the disaster universe where they do get romantically involved with each other post-Spirit (because as far as the early series go, it does feel like it has to be post-Spirit, when Leela does make the choice to stay with Romana/for Romana on Gallifrey) because oh god that’s so emotionally messy. (It’s only been six months and change since Leela’s husband first disappeared! We’re only two episodes away from Andred’s death! She’s not in a healthy emotional space to be doing this right now, and neither is Romana, frankly! Especially given what’s going to happen in the next several episodes.....but oof wow there’s certainly a story to explore there). 

This was not a lighter note, I’m so sorry. Anyways, friendly reminder that I’m always down to go on and on about Romana/Leela, I have....so many feelings about them. Also if you’ve actually read through this entire post, wow and thank you??

Previous Episode Reaction: Lies

[isagrimorie]

@glompcat

replied to your post

“I was listening to “Talking Who to You” and their review of Diary of...”

They sometimes almost seem to have a hint of an interesting idea to explore with her in that regard, but then since they refuse to actually examine these things just abandon it. Like in Legacy of Time, when Benny started to question what River really *means* when she talks about being married. Or in Eight of March's Emancipation where River expressed envy for two seconds that Leela lived on Gallifrey with her Time Lord husband. Which also opened up the fascinating whole subject of how much River really knows/understands. She studied the Doctor, she learned about them and their friends from academic texts and third and fourth hand accounts. She clearly doesn't actually *know* most things, and I wish we could see more of her coming up against the fact she doesn't actually understand everything, that she is clinging to these assured ideas and yet the reality of the situation still surprises her etc

Instead of like... constantly needing to write stories where River's odd view is affirmed as right. Like in Emancipation she comments that she understands Time Lords just as well as Leela, and that just... continues to stick out to me. Because obs Leela didn't challenge that as she had no idea who River was, which meant that just went on by without comment and just... confused the shit out of me. She isn't a first hand expert and authority on everything. She's an academic, an archaeologist. She's still never met any Time Lords other than the Doctor and the Master, and most of what she knows is based on a lifetime of academic study. That *could* lead to hilarious misunderstanding/vulnerability in her stories when she does have to meet up with the Doctor.

Oh man. Yes, those two stories! 

I was especially disappointed with the Legacy of Time story with Benny when it suddenly became ALL about Eight. Here are two awesome women, who are so similar to each other and all the writers could think about was put Eight into the story. 

And then doesn’t even delve deeper into it. I figure Benny’s expression the whole time was mildly confused and ‘seriously?. 

And you bring up a good point! For the longest time all River knew about the Doctor is what Madam Kovarian taught her, she is an academic! Also, of all people to say she knows Time Lords as much as Leela... who has lived with Time Lords, and not just one outlier renegade Time Lord. 

I was also pretty annoyed with majority of the story until the last part but man, I really need a writer to really push more into River’s story and dig deeper. They could go for a more comedic effect with it too! 

 It certainly would be a more interesting thing to explore than jokes about how because she's married to the Doctor it is magically ok for her to strip them naked and have her way with them when they're unconscious, like we got in the boxset where she met Five. Which was just... such a rollercoaster for me as it is the one where she gets to confront Kevorkian! 

Oh. God. That boxset. 

I know what you mean. I was so uncomfortable, and clearly Five didn’t know what was going on nor did he want to participate with anything River was trying to initiate. 

It also goes to my point of -- just because The Doctor married her, doesn’t mean it travels back to the Doctor’s other lives. I can maybe accept this up until Eight because he straddles the line of Pre- and during Time War, the catalyst that changed the Doctor into the person River fell in love with. 

Moffat might be all into the Time Traveler’s Wife story but I’m a firm believer of ‘right time, right place’. The Doctor pre-Time War isn’t the exact same person that becomes the post-Time War Doctor/Post-almost recovery Doctor who falls in love with River. Pre-Time War Doctor isn’t ready to fall in love with River, the Doctor has a whole life before River, a whole family before River. Just as much as she should and does have her own life outside of the Doctor, the Doctor had a whole history before River. 

Yet even there, when Kevorkian is there and they are literally inside a copy of River's childhood bedroom there was no real grappling with what it means that River studied the Doctor-as-monster her whole youth long that she was training to kill them literally every day of her childhood, and yes, somewhere along the way things changed, so what happened, when did she start to see the Doctor differently, and what misconceptions does she still carry with her from her earlier studies and how do they inform how she sees the Doctor's actions/their relationship now? 

I can only nod here, because like I mentioned in the post, I wanted to know when exactly did River really fall in love with the Doctor and not just the idea of the Doctor or the things she knew about him? When was the first moment that didn’t have to do with any of those things did she realize she’s in love with him, for realsies? 

When she meets these people who knew the Doctor like Benny or Leela (or Susan or Ian or Barbara etc except I haven't heard that box set of Diaries yet unlike the others) how do their impressions contrast with her own? 

Not to harp on about that one off story too much, but it stood out to me due to its obvious positioning as both written and directed by women, but I do think about things like how in The Eighth of March Emancipation she kept insinuating that the Doctor mainly kept Leela around for eye candy and how that showed this MASSIVE lack of understanding of Four and what he was about and it really fascinates me, like what does it mean for an Academic to literally fall in love with the subject of her studies? Particularly an Archaeologist whose field is built on piecing together desperate remnants to create an incomplete idea of a whole? Like if her stories must all culminate in being about the Doctor (which based on some things said in Vortex I think may have been part of what Moffat told them to do with her) 

‘Like if her stories must all culminate about being about the Doctor’ AUGH. This is so frustrating. Especially the part about what River’s insinuating about Leela, who is awesome and fantastic. I mean, isn’t enough she still gets called Savage in Gallifrey? And River has to pile that on top too. Thankfully this rolls off of Leela, but honestly, that was uncalled for. 

why not actually explore how and why she reached the conclusions she did in Husbands of River Song, which is of course always in her future? It's set after all of these adventures we listen to, so why not - if a Doctor plot is needed - focus on how she reached the conclusions she did there if that speech was sincere? 

THIS THIS THIS.

IDK. There is so much they could explore with her but they just don't seem willing to challenge her... authority? In a way that ultimately undercuts her, because she is constantly positioned in a mold that removes any actual work needed to gain information/the upper hand/her level of skill. So rather than being the result of hard work and effort, it's just... how it is. Which de-powers her. IDK, I kept trying with Diaries I really did, but it actually was the one with Tom Baker in it that made me give up.

“they just don't seem willing to challenge her... authority? In a way that ultimately undercuts her, because she is constantly positioned in a mold that removes any actual work needed to gain information/the upper hand/her level of skill.“

Yes, this, exactly! It’s like the writers are way too afraid to handle River with anything but reverence and care. And for a story to work, characters shouldn’t be handled like they’re made of glass! 

In the end, what happens is, it feels like the stories are all telling not showing. 

The start of it (Diary of River Song boxset with Four), long before the story with the Doctor in it, had people who knew her as students at Luna University in it, and the way the story dealt with them and their relationship to River, it was honestly insulting, not just to the characters but to anyone who has ever been in graduate school. Like they kept fundamentally refusing to either understand or care to understand what being in an Academic institute means. By claiming it was all so easy for River and removing the effort and skill needed, they are de-powering her PhD. By making the other students all so incompetent in comparison to her, they are again... - her PhD. Hell, now that they've established Benny was her tutor, they're depowering Benny (ED: emphasis mine) in the process. And that is not even starting to touch on the dynamic of having the other academic in that story ultimately hating River because her Husband had been in love with River and asked her out one time in Grad school before River rejected him and he is still hung up on River? Like who thought that was a good dynamic?

... 

Which is I guess a lot of words to essentially say that Big Finish often refuses to take River off this strange pedestal of hyper-competent perfection, where she is always the most clever person in the room, always knows the answer, and even in her fucks ups and failures is still ~the expert~ in full. But in so doing the value in her expertise, the hard work, the real strength it took for her to get to where she is... well to be deemphasized it has to even be a factor which it never is, as it just doesn't seem to exist for them at all. She just knows everything until the plot demand she doesn't so things can move along, and when she knows it she knows it best, and if you question this in any way she'll respond with a joking quip and won't you look silly than, and that is that.

☝️☝️☝️

Whole heartedly agree, Big Finish isn’t doing the work they should be doing to really explore her character, and we know from other stories that they can actually deepen a character’s back story and add more insight to them too! 

I mean, my favorite BF Doctors (other than Eight) are Six and Five with Peri and Erimem! 

BF has had so many opportunities to do better by River but they always end up going the easy way instead of doing the hard work to explore a) who River is outside of her programming, how much it’s affected her and b) make River face up to questions about her feelings for the Doctor. 

c) Also, just like with Kate Stewart in UNIT, I don’t want to hear the Brig’s name uttered in the presence of and around Kate. I don’t want River to run into the Doctor in the next couple of boxsets. 

[srinithyananda]

7 SEPTEMBER 2020, 09:01 PM, MONDAY - IST, NITHYANANDA SATSANG - ENGLISH GIST *PARAMASHIVA’S MESSAGE DIRECTLY FROM KAILASA: *MIND IS A MECHANISM BUILT IN YOU BY SOCIETY TO CONSTANTLY DRIVE YOU AS IT WANTS. *ANYONE UNCLUTCHES TO THE LEVEL WHERE THE FAULTY MECHANISM CALLED MIND INSERTED INTO YOU BY DEFAULT, STOPS TRIGGERING YOU, INSTIGATING YOU, LIVES IN THE STATE OF PARAMASHIVA. *MIND IS THE FAULTY MECHANISM INSERTED INTO YOU BY DEFAULT BY THE HUMAN SOCIETY TO TRIGGER, DRIVE YOU, AS IT WANTS. *CONSTANTLY, ANYONE WHO DECIDES TO UNCLUTCH TO THE DEPTH, TO THE LEVEL SOCIETY CANNOT TRIGGER YOU ANYMORE, DRIVE YOU CRAZY ANYMORE, CANNOT CONSTANTLY INSTIGATE YOU IN THE DIRECTION IT WANTS TO ANYMORE - THAT LEVEL OF UNCLUTCHING MAKES YOU MANIFEST THE STATE OF PARAMASHIVA. *I WILL GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE TRUTH AS IT IS. IF THERE IS A FACT, AND YOU ARE INFORMED OTHERWISE… FOR EXAMPLE - THERE IS A GREEN LIGHT, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD, THERE IS RED LIGHT, IT IS CALLED FALSE INFORMATION - LIE. *BUT, EVEN THE EVIDENCE PROVIDED TO YOU WHETHER TO PROVE SOMETHING IS A FACT OR FALSE, TRUTH OR LIE, THAT ITSELF IS ‘ANITYA’ (अनित्य) *THAT ITSELF DOES NOT HAVE THE SANCTITY OF TIME. THAT ITSELF DOES NOT HAVE ITS INDEPENDENT EXISTENCE. THE WHOLE THING, THE CONCEPT GIVEN TO YOU THAT THERE IS A GREEN LIGHT, THE FACT, THE STATEMENT GIVEN TO YOU, EVIDENCE PROVIDED TO YOU THAT THERE IS A GREEN LIGHT, MAY BE FACT, FALSE, TRUTH, LIE - BUT THE WHOLE THING DOES NOT HAVE ITS EXISTENCE ON TIME. *REALIZING THAT AND WAKING UP FROM THE MAYA, FOR EXAMPLE, YOU SPEND LITERALLY YOUR WHOLE LIFE ONLY TO DIG OUT WHETHER SOMETHING IS FALSE OR TRUE, FACT OR LIE. YOU DON'T GO MORE THAN THAT. YOUR LIFE IS JUST SIMPLE BINARY OF TRUTH-FALSE, FACT OR LIE - VERY SUPERFICIAL! *BUT UNDERSTAND, THE IDEA GIVEN TO YOU, AND THE EVIDENCE PROVIDED TO YOU, AND THE EYEWITNESS WHO TELLS YOU THERE IS A GREEN LIGHT AND YOUR PERCEPTION OF THE GREEN LIGHT - THE WHOLE THING IS DELUSION! LIFE IS A PRANK PLAYED ON YOU BY MAYA! WAKE UP! *IF YOU SEE THE PRANK SHOWS, YOU WILL SEE HOW AT THE END OF THE SHOW, THE FELLOW WAKES UP AND SEES HOW THAT IS A PRANK! *EXACTLY SAME WAY, WHEN I UNCLUTCHED MYSELF, I WOKE UP AND SAW ���O GOD! THIS WHOLE THING IS A PRANK!’ *WHEN YOU UNCLUTCH, YOU REALISE THIS WHOLE THING IS A PRANK! *USE THIS TIME OF PRALAYA - PANDEMIC, TO REALISE THIS WHOLE THING IS A PRANK! *ONE INCIDENT FROM MY LIFE: MY COUSIN BROTHER, HE DIED WHEN I WAS YOUNG. IN TAMIL, WE DON'T HAVE TWO SEPARATE WORDS FOR BIOLOGICAL OWN BROTHER AND COUSIN BROTHER. THERE IS ONLY ONE WORD - ‘BROTHER’! THE IDEA THAT ONLY KIDS BORN FOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER ARE YOUR BROTHERS, AND THE KIDS BORN FOR YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE ARE NOT YOUR OWN BROTHERS - THIS IDEA I LEARNT ONLY WHEN I CAME TO THE WEST, AND I LEARNT THE WORD - COUSIN BROTHER. TILL THEN I KNOW ONLY BROTHER-BROTHER! TILL THEN, NEITHER WE HAVE THE WORD IN TAMIL, NOR DO WE HAVE THE IDEA IN THE FAMILY. THE LIFESTYLE IS A JOINT FAMILY! *MENTALLY I NEVER HAD THE SEPARATION OF KIDS BORN TO MY FATHER AND MOTHER AND KIDS BORN TO MY AUNT AND UNCLE. THERE IS NO PRIORITY; EVERYONE IS EQUAL. *THIS KID, MY ELDER BROTHER, MY FATHER’S ELDER BROTHER'S SON - HE DIED IN AN ACCIDENT. HE FELL IN A VILLAGE WELL. WHENEVER WE HAVE SUMMER VACATION, WE GO TO A RELATIVE’S HOUSE IN A VILLAGE. IT WAS A STRONG SHOCK FOR ME. HE WAS NOT JUST MY BROTHER, HE WAS MY FIRST ASSISTANCE, MY FIRST SECRETARY. HIS NAME WAS SRINIVASAN. *THE HOUSE IN WHICH I WAS BORN AND BROUGHT UP IS A LARGE JOINT FAMILY HOUSE. ONE KID WILL DO ‘1’ IN THE HALL, ONE KID WILL DO ‘2’ IN THE HALL ITSELF, ONE KID WILL ROLL OVER THE DOG IN THE HOUSE…! *WHENEVER I AM DOING PUJA, HE WILL BE MY SECRETARY AND BODYGUARD. NO ONE SHOULD COME AND DISTURB. NO ONE SHOULD SWITCH ON THE FAN WHEN THE LIGHT IS LIT FOR THE PUJA. IN THOSE DAYS THE FAN WILL RUN LIKE A GENERATOR WITH A BIG NOISE! THESE OLD LADIES AND THEIR ELDER SISTER WILL COME TO REST AT THAT TIME AND THEY WILL SWITCH ON THE FAN. IT WILL CREATE SUCH A SOUND THAT IT IS LIKE A GENERATOR! HE WILL MAKE SURE NO ONE SWITCHES ON THE FAN WHEN I AM DOING PUJA! *HE USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD PROTECTION FOR ME. MAYBE THAT PUNYA, HE COMPLETED ALL HIS KARMAS. HE USED TO BE DEAF AND DUMB. FROM MY OWN PERCEPTION, I FEEL HE IS A SIDDHA WHO CAME TO PLANET EARTH JUST TO SERVE ME, AND AFTER COMPLETING HIS KARMAS AND TASKS, HE DECIDED TO LEAVE THE BODY. HE USED TO BE TOO SWEET AND TOO CLOSE TO ME, AND VERY BRILLIANT! *WHEN HE DIED, I COULD NOT HANDLE IT, IT WAS TOO MUCH. I WENT TO RAMSURATKUMAR, MY GURU. BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO HAVE GURUS TO TAKE CARE AND PROTECT DURING THE CRISIS OF LIFE. *JUST FEW DAYS BEFORE, ONE OF MY DISCIPLES MESSAGED THAT HER FATHER AND MOTHER ARE HAVING FEVER AND THEY ARE TESTING THEM FOR CORONA. I SAID, ‘NO CORONA. DON'T WORRY. I WILL TAKE CARE’. SHE MESSAGES AFTER A DAY, THAT DOCTORS HAVE CONFIRMED IT IS CORONA POSITIVE. I SAID, ‘NO, RELAX. I AM SAYING I WILL TAKE CARE, TELL THEM TO TEST AGAIN.’ NATURALLY, WITHIN FEW HOURS, THE TEST CAME: CORONA NEGATIVE! *WHETHER I CAUSE A MIRACLE OR NOT, HAVING FEELING CONNECTION WITH THE GURU IS THE GREATEST MIRACLE YOU WILL EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE! *IT IS NOT THAT I WENT TO RAMSURATKUMAR AND HE REVIVED THE CHILD, NO! BUT HE GAVE ME THE REALISATION. HE SPEAKS VERY LESS WORDS. HE HELD MY HAND FOR FEW MINUTES AND AS USUAL HIS BEEDI AND CIGARETTE IN ONE HAND AND MY HAND IN THE OTHER HAND... *HE IS SUCH AN AMAZING BEING! ALWAYS HE WILL SMOKE BUT I HAVE NEVER SMELT SMOKE EVEN ONCE IN HIS PRESENCE. *I WANT TO TELL ALL THE TROLLS: YOU STOP ALL YOUR ABUSAL AND ATTACKS WITH ME. DON'T GO TO MY GURU PARAMPARA. *THERE ARE 1000S OF PEOPLE WHO ARE WITNESS FOR WHAT I AM CLAIMING. I AM CLAIMING THESE FEW STATEMENTS: *ONE - YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR WHETHER HE SMOKES BEEDI OR CIGARETTE, NEVER THERE IS NEVER SMOKE SMELL IN HIS PRESENCE EVEN THOUGH HE CONTINUOUSLY SMOKES. *ANYONE, BEFORE TROLLING THIS STATEMENT, GO AND SPEAK TO ANYONE IN THE STREET OF TIRUVANNAMALAI! I AM NOT THE ONLY DISCIPLE OF YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR! GO AND TALK TO ANYONE IN THE STREET! THEY WOULD HAVE EXPERIENCED THE PHYSICAL PRESENCE OF YOGI RAMSURATKUMAR! HE LIVED A LIFE ON THE STREETS OUTSIDE THE TEMPLE! THERE ARE 1000S OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEEN WHAT I AM SAYING AND EXPERIENCED WHAT I AM SAYING. *STOP YOUR ATTACKING, TROLLING, VENGEANCE, VIOLENCE WITH MY LEVEL AND NOT MY GURU LEVEL. *I WILL TELL MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY TEAM IN TIRUVANNAMALAI TO GO AND TALK TO MANY DISCIPLES OF RAMSURATKUMAR AND MAKE THEM RECORD AND UPLOAD IT. RAMSURATKUMAR IS LITERALLY INCARNATION OF PARAMASHIVA WHO WALKED ON THE EARTH. *HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR GIVING ME THE VISION OF AUROBINDO. HE USED TO INSIST I READ AUROBINDO’S BOOK. *THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY TEAM IN TIRUVANNAMALAI SHOULD GO AND TALK TO HIS DISCIPLES AND RECORD THE STATEMENTS OF HIS DISCIPLES AND PUBLISH IT SO THAT WE ESTABLISH THE AUTHENTICITY OF WHAT WE ARE CLAIMING. *SECOND STATEMENT I AM MAKING - HE USED TO EXHALE THE SMOKE THROUGH HIS EYES, NOSE, EARS, AND DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE BODY - THIS ALSO WE HAVE ENOUGH EYE WITNESSES. *THIRD - HE USED TO INHALE AND PUT HIS HAND ON HIS PET DOG, THE DOG WILL EXHALE THE SMOKE! I AM MAKING THIS STATEMENT VERY RESPONSIBLY. THERE ARE MULTIPLE EYEWITNESSES EVEN FOR THIS STATEMENT I AM MAKING. *HOW MUCH THIS WORLD IS TRUE, THAT MUCH THE STATEMENT IS ALSO TRUE. THERE IS A SPACE WHERE THIS WHOLE WORLD IS MAYA, THEN IN THAT SPACE THIS STATEMENT IS ALSO MAYA. *ONE MORE UNDERSTANDING: TROLLING ME, COMMENTING ON ME - ALL THESE ARE DIFFERENT. BUT TROLLING OR DISRESPECTING MY GURUS OR GURU PARAMPARA IN ANY WAY... ANYONE WHO TROLLS AND DISRESPECTS MY GURU PARAMPARA, ACCUMULATES TOO MUCH OF BAD KARMA. IT IS UP TO THEM... *BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO HAVE A GURU DURING THE CRISIS OF YOUR LIFE. *ONE OF THE BIG CRISIS I FACED IN LIFE IS MY OWN BROTHER’S DEATH. I WENT TO MY GURU, RAMSURATKUMAR. HE HELD MY HAND. HE DIDN'T SPEAK, HE WAS JUST SMOKING BEEDI/CIGARETTE AND HE HELD MY HAND. BUT I COULD SEE VERY CLEARLY: HE WAS RAISING MY CONSCIOUSNESS. *AT ONE POINT, HE JUST PRESSED MY HAND AND UTTERED THE WORD: ’KOOTHU DA!’ MEANS ‘THE WHOLE THING IS ‘LEELA’! *I TELL YOU: I LITERALLY SAW THAT THIS IDEA OF BIRTH, LIFE, DEATH, EVERYTHING IS JUST LEELA! *MY COUSIN BROTHER DIED IS A FACT. BUT ULTIMATELY, THE WHOLE IDEA OF LIFE, BIRTH, DEATH, EVERYTHING IS FALSE! SO THIS IS A DELUSION! I JUST WOKE UP! *THIS WHOLE IDEA OF BIRTH, DEATH, LIFE IS JUST A PRANK PLAYED ON US BY MAYA! *ESSENCE OF TODAY’S SATSANG: UNCLUTCH TO THE LEVEL YOU GO BEYOND THE DELUSION AND BE ESTABLISHED IN THE STATE OF PARAMASHIVA. Read the full post here: https://www.facebook.com/ParamahamsaNithyananda/photos/a.321615927926264/4325893867498430/?type=3

[annakie]

A Post about Patchy

Hey would you like to read a lot of words about and see some pics of this cat?  Because I’m going to do that below this cut.

Don’t worry, longtime followers, this is a happy post.

Those of you who have been following me since 2014 or before may remember Patchy.  I don’t talk about her much on the blog, but I think it’s time. 

If you were worried this may be a post-mortem post, don’t be.  She’s happy and healthy.

The pic above was taken in October 2010.  It’s the earliest picture I have of Patchy.  By this point I had already known her for about a year.

Back in like 2009, around the time I got Cebu, when I started actually looking out in my backyard, I realized that there were several cats who hung out back there at night.  I just have a chain link fence in my yard so it’s not surprising they could easily jump it from the alley or side yards, and I have a pretty large patio with some comfy patio chairs, so I guess it seemed like a good spot for them to hang, since I wasn’t out there much. 

I wouldn’t know that TNR was a thing for awhile, and since I have a soft spot for cats, I’d leave them out some kibble, I’d just buy a bag of the cheapest stuff at the grocery store and throw a cup out a night to keep them from starving to death back then.  There were often 5 or so cats back there, and if I’d have known then what I know now, I would have started TNR way earlier. 

The cats would come and go, and there were so many that I just called them by identifying characteristics.  “Brown-nosed tabby” and “Tuxedo” and “Orangie” or whatever.  So this Calico just became “Patchy” since she has patches of color.  For awhile, she was just one of that gang.

Cats would disappear, new ones would show up.  Patchy and Moustachio, a shorthaired B&W cat with a mustache, were around the longest.  I’m not sure what happened to most of the other cats, I’m sure they got hit by cars and picked up by the pound and other unpleasantness.  I had to dispose of a few myself.

Patchy, somehow, kept surviving.  Although there were a few times when she’d disappear for weeks at a time and I guessed that was the end of her, but she’d show up later all skin and bones, and then I’d switch her to my cats’ expensive, grain-free food and even give her wet food to get her back on her feet.  Once she even showed up bloody with a very scary gash on her head.  Not being able to touch her to put like, neosporin or something on that was killing me and I did what I could to help her recover, which was mostly just making sure she had plenty of good food and water.  She made it.

And in these first few years, several times, kitten litters showed up in my backyard.

Cebu... get out of the way.  (He was always real good about knowing exactly where to be for being in the way.  I miss him so much.)  (Pics taken in May, 2013.)

Ah, yeah, there’s Patchy with two litters of kittens, one of which was hers and the others were her own grandchildren.  I rescued two out of those eleven and still kick myself for not doing more.

After having to clean up a few of her messes and over a few years saving over a half dozen of her kittens, and not saving many more, I decided it was time to do something about this.  I started by getting her to trust going into my house.

My master bedroom has a sliding glass door to the patio.  (The door you see there goes into the garage, sliding glass door is to the right.)  So I started trailing food into the house and into the master bathroom to get her to explore there, and under the bed so she saw a safe place to hide.  I’d then hanging out in the bedroom reading and letting her come in to explore the inside.  I got her to understand there was food and clean water, and shelter there.  

I thought I wasn’t far enough along with trusting me when she was pregnant once again in spring, 2014.  But one night she did run right inside the house when I opened the sliding glass door to let Cebu out, climbed into the lining that had been ripped out a bit under my bed, and set up camp.  For the next few months, she lived there.  I contacted a feral rescue group in my area who agreed to let me foster the kitties and they’d get them adopted, then loan me a trap to get Patchy TNR’d.  So that was a relief.

Also?  Patchy picked the spot where she wanted to “go”, and after I cleaned up that first mess I put a litter box there and she took right to it, have NEVER had a litter issue since.

The long, and complete story about the next few months can be found on my Rescue Kitties tag, with many many pictures and updates.  But I’ll still post a few, and a summary.

She never came out from beneath the bed if I was in the room, but I would go hang out with her when I got home from work every day, lay on the floor and sing to her and talk to her, give her yummy wet food, and sometimes, if she felt frisky, she’d play laser pointer with me when I would lay in bed before sleeping at night, always on the floor, never daring to get on the bed.  That’s fine.

In April 2014 one morning I awoke to kitten noises.

She was such a good momma to those kittens.  After the first day & night in the birthing box I set up for her, and she did even let me change out the towel (but got real mad when I tried to move the food bowl slightly away), she brought the babies back under the bed and I’d have to peek and use my camera to even see them.

Eventually, they got old enough to get curious, they came out to play, and she let me play with them and socialize them. 

And after a few more weeks, the babies went to the rescue group, and found their forever homes. 

It took TWO MORE WEEKS of making Patchy very unhappily live inside before I could get her into a trap, so she could be TNR’d.  Although she was OK with me touching the babies, touching was strictly off-limits for HER.

But hey!  We did it!  She went and got TNR’d, got a clean bill of health... and went back outside.

I didn’t see her for like two weeks, and when she came back she was skin and bones, and decided that maybe it was OK to be back here and let me give her food again, after all.

And then for the next year or so, well, if it were really hot or cold or storming outside, when I’d let Cebu out before bed, maybe she’d decide to spend the night under the bed, after all.  But she wanted to go back outside during the day.  That’s fine.  The other cats hated being locked out of the bedroom sometimes, but they got used to it.

Slowly, throughout 2014 and 2015 her inside stays got a little longer and a little longer.  It was too hot or too cold out for days at a time, then weeks at a time.

The worst part about this time is that she’d get fleas.  And then Cebu would get fleas, and then Jim, Leela, Fry and Pemily would have fleas.  And then I’d have to do an expensive round of flea meds on all 5 of the inside pets, and not being able to touch Patchy to give HER meds was a problem until I found some like, garlic pills online that I’d mash into her wet food and give to her.  Luckily, between that and flea-powdering (the vacuuming) the carpets, the fleas would be taken care of.  I think I went through this three times.  Eventually I just started giving her a flea pill once a month.  I didn’t love doing it because apparently some cats have bad reactions, but it was that or... stop letting her into the house because I couldn’t keep exposing the rest of the pets to fleas.  Luckily, it worked.

Of course when Cebu died at the end of 2016 I had a lot less reason to ever go to the backyard, so, she had a lot fewer chances to try and go outside, anyway.  But it’d been awhile before that since she’d go out.  I used to leave the door open enough for Cebu to go out and come back in during nice days, and she wouldn’t bother most of the time.  And usually, even when she did, she’d be back inside for bed.

She did get out for like two minutes once last year, but she made it to the end of the backyard, saw I was going back inside, and ran back to me and inside all on her own after that.

She’s at least ten years old now, I think she’s happy to be settled.

I feel bad that she lives her entire life in one room.  I’ve tried a few things to see if she wants to integrate.  Pemily is my most social and outgoing and friendly cat, and also she is literally Patchy’s granddaughter, and several times Pemily has managed to sneak her way into the bedroom, she’s very wiley.  Patchy DOES NOT LIKE IT.  Usually within 10 minutes there are growls, spits and hisses.  Once or twice Pemily has made it into the bedroom without me noticing, and I’ll find her sitting by the door VERY READY to leave when I go back in.  Patchy and Fry would never get along, and she’d probably bully Leela, so... she’s a bedroom cat.

We still play laser pointer, I made sure we has a few hunting-type toys, which are the only thing she responds to.  I’ve tried several “enrichment” toys that the other cats like, stimulation toys, hiding toys, a mini-cat tower that she only uses the brush on, special places to lay down... whatever.  I also bought her a life-sized stuff cat for companionship and NOPE, she hissed at it.  I left in in the room just in case she gets used to it and she ignores it. She doesn’t really care. She likes to hunt fake mice and the laser pointer, everything else is “Meh.”  

She used to dump her water out all the time and I realized she likes to drink moving water, so I put Cebu’s water fountain in there and she loves it.  She has the view of the backyard from the sliding glass doors she spends a lot of time looking out at.  She has crunchy food always and gets some wet food when I get home from work, I spend a few minutes with her when I come home from work every day and at least an hour hanging out in bed watching shows and playing laser pointer... and she seemed happy.

In January, 2016 I woke up one night and found a warm lump next to my feet.  

It may have been a little earlier than that, but not much.  Patchy figured out that it’s more comfy ON the bed (well, she had been sleeping up there when I wasn’t in the room before then, but never while I was there) and hey, humans are warm!  Actually now that I look at it, I think this pic was taken in the afternoon, so maybe this was one of the first times she came onto the bed when she knew I was awake.  (Hey, I’m big on weekend afternoon naps.)

Further strides.. were slow, but measured.  The first time she’d come up on the bed while I was sitting up.  The first time she walked on me when I was laying on my side.  The first time she walked on my stomach and smelled my face.  Figuring out that sleeping higher up on the legs is even warmer.  Figuring out that purring and making biscuits on the human’s leg was really nice.  Oh man, I cried the first time she made biscuits and I heard her purring.  That was probably early 2017.

I had a few aborted attempts at trying to touch / pet her, including thinking she was Pemily while I was still half alseep.  These always lead to setbacks that took awhile to get that trust back.

After awhile, she’d sometimes even do stuff like... this.

This was a huge deal because it was the first time I had even thought to record her and she just came right up and said hi, and she laid there for like 20 seconds while I talked to her.

And then I asked her if she wanted pets, and she immediately backed off.

But hey, she backed off to go do this...

So it wasn’t so terrible.  A little biscuit making before settling down to hang out.

I decided about a year ago, that to move forward, what I needed was to get her used to my hands. So I began Operations: Hands are OK!  For literally the last year, every day I just try to spend a few minutes with my hands somewhere near her when she settles in.  And I started trying TINY PETS on her paws when she was relaxed.  This was a gamble because most cats hate having their paws touched.  But she could see my fingers touching her paws, and tiny gentle paw strokes that did not hurt were something she could control, and remove her paws from.  Which usually she did, and at first she’d get up and move, but eventually, she’d just tuck her paws under.

Sometimes... even something like this would happen...

See?  You can touch MY hands, too!  It’s OK!

I also let her sniff my hand any time she was close enough, and she got used to that, I started using it as a greeting.  She was totes OK with touching any part of me that was covered up with a blanket at this point.  So I’d also put my hand under the blanket sometimes and then under her paws or side.  She didn’t like this much, either, but would tolerate it in small bursts. 

I was patient with her and tried to not push her boundaries too much.

The thing is, though, she has not been to the vet since getting TNR’d in 2014, and she’s now at least 10 years old.  I don’t want to take her if it’s going to set her back, and I don’t want to someday have her be sick and still terrified of my hands, of touch, so... I pushed forward.

The last few months... I started feeling like she knew she wanted something else, but she didn’t know what she wanted or how to ask for it.   So I went for pets with the back of my hand a few times, slowly, letting her know where my hand was at all times and she’d... run away after a short brush.

She’d hang out... close, like this, though.  Looking at me like... “I need something.  What is it that I need?”

Less than two weeks ago, on June 12, I had to wake up at 4am for a work thing, made it back to bed at 6:15ish, then woke up, oops, an hour later than I meant to around 9am.  I really needed to get up and get to work, but woke up to Patchy laying with me, then when she saw I was awake she climbed up to my stomach, purring.

“Okay, we’re gonna try pets again,” I said to her, and showed her the back of my hand.  She sniffed it, then I lightly brushed it against her side.  She didn’t move.

“Okay, we’re gonna do that again,” I said, and for 4 or 5 strokes, she let me.  So I got bold, and went for the regular front-hand full body pet down the spine.

She let me.  I held my breath and looked at her and she didn’t move.  I tried again and she let me.  And after a few seconds... I was just... petting her.  Like you would any other cat.  I literally got teary eyed as I told her what a good girl and brave girl she is.  She... leaned into it.

After about a minute, I got really bold and tried a neck scratch.

SHE.  LOVED.  IT.

This was after about five minutes of neck-scratch / body pets switching.  I grabbed my phone off the nightstand to capture the moment, and she was totally cool with staying still while I shifted a bit to take the pictures with my left hand.

I probably hung out with her for ten or fifteen minutes and actually had to push her away to get up and run into work and not miss a meeting I was supposed to run at 10.  I’ve been so. damn. happy. about this.

It took ten years you guys.  Or damn close to it.  A decade of knowing this cat, of getting her to trust me bit by bit.  

And now, when I hop in bed at night, whenever she’s ready she’ll jump up and hang out.  A few nights ago she even let me pet her while she was standing up and I was sitting up for a moment, and once while I was sitting up and sitting cross-legged, she laid down on the pillow in front of my legs and just let me pet her that way.  

She even woke me up in the middle of the night last night going “Uh, hey, that thing you do now?  Do that some.”  She lays there and purrs and lets me pet her for a long time.

She still mostly runs under the bed if I’m in the room and not on the bed, but the last year or so she’s been lazy about it, instead of jumping up terrified and running under the bed it’s more like “Oh... you’re here.  Ok.”  More like a routine than a necessity.  The last few days she may even be outside of the bed under the nightstand or just... NEAR the bed if I’m walking around, but I haven’t pushed that boundary yet.

My goal is now, by the end of the year, have her tolerate me picking her up, or at least pushing her around.  Get it so I can get her into a carrier and... if I’m real lucky, get her to the vet before 2019 is over.  We’ll see.

Maybe, but not likely, someday I can open the bedroom door again, sleep with the other cats (I do occasionally sleep in the guest room so they can hang out with me, but that bed is nooot as comfortable.)  For the last few years I was doubtful we’d ever get this far.  So who knows.

Thanks for reading this far!  I have been wanting to just record this story for awhile and made myself sit down and do it tonight.  I’ll post further updates if warranted. :)

[ladybender]

Fry / Lars parallels 👥

(that was the best emiji i could find lmao)

@spaceacepearl @barelyanyswag

okay so, fist off, i have no idea at all of how to write this post, but i thought it could be a very useful set of info to put on paper so im gonna give it my best try

so we know Fry and Lars's parallels are either a "direct effect" (they are feeling the same things, making the same decisions) or a "seesaw effect" (when one is feeling down the other is happy, and so forth), so let's start:

👥 i think it's safe to assume everyone here has seen bender's big score (couple hundred times even), so it's no news when i say Lars had 12 years head start to do a big  character development. until the moment he found out he was Lars, then the "it's enough to know leela is happy" immediatly became the "bitch, i am what will make leela happy waaaa". so that was kinda cut short.. it also doesn't help that Lars's 12-years-old realization only took original-Fry like 5 hours to accomplish (Shut In wasn't kidding when she said he would get the faster more radical character development of them all 😂)

👥 so by the flashback scene at the hospital (where Lars was in a coma? i can't remember but he was not doing well) Fry and Lars are emotionally at the same point.

👥 but that quickly moves forward, because we know Fry gaving Lars his blood, royally messed up the rules of the "time paradox duplicate is always doomed". that's maybe why lars not only lived this long, but is also said that the universe doesn't know anymore who it shoud get rid of, if fry or lars (maybe that the big why of all the injuries after all 🤔)

👥 the actual story begins with the seesaw effect: the first time we see Lars he's happy and his marrige with Leela is on its highest note. while the first time we see Fry, he's on his lowest point, longing for Leela like a crazy man, and even on the edge of alcoholism.

👥 the next thing i noticed is a direct parallel: when Amy is complaining about Kif being too perfect and driving her to another man, Fry's response is "how can you be too perfect?". literally in the same chapter, about the same thing, Lars says "how can the guy be too perfect?" (lmao Leela should have taken some hint just then imo😂)

👥 another seesaw effect could be when Fry was chilling on the beach with Leela while Lars was busy working at the head museum🤔

👥 then there is the fatidic hangar scene!!! we all know that was the literal dawn for Fry, because the sun was rising right then. but as if that wasn't enought, the next we see of Lars is when he's saying he had a rough night at work, not even knowing the first thing 😂! (poor guy tho...)

👥 i'll skip a few chapters here and go to when Leela finds out, starting a sequence of direct parallels: mainly them being plain miserable all the times.

👥 all this to get to where the Big Stuff happens: after Fry leaves, he and Lars basically parallel eachother to the core of their plots.

👥 Fry on mars and Lars still on the surface trying to help Leela is a transition part. the ends are the opposite (Fry want to forget Leela by getting drunk every single minute of every day / Lars want to be near leela to see if he can still have a role in her life) but they start at the same time.

👥 the next phase of their connected plot (which i suspected happened at the same time too but apparently not so never mind that), is when Fry gets run over by Glottus / Lars goes with Leela in the sewers (which is also where the first injury happens for the both of them! Fry breaks his ribs / Lars breaks his leg).

👥 this ALSO leads them both to their designeted Leela mirror (for Fry is Glottus / for Lars is Skreem). who are gonna help them get though a huge change and a better understanding of their porpuse, both with Leela and with themselves.

👥 but their injuries did not heal well. in fact Lars gets a limb / Fry keep breaking the same ribs two more times. now, i've thought about this a lot, and Kat said it so much better already, but i think these wounds are connected to their emotional wounds. the fact that they keep troubling them and that they're straightly connected to leela (lars fell from the leader because he followed her and wanted to go down first / fry was just thinking about going back to earth when glottus hit him) (plus! it was their respective mirron leela character that tried to heal them but falied).

👥 now this next point is a big leap, but i think Lars finding out he's doomed / Fry realizing he can't run forever and hope his problems would disappear are also connected. idk if it's a seesaw effect, but it's close to it? Fry's going a step further into admitting his faults, and that is making him grow so much, and getting closer to Leela. while Lars is getting further (he decided to let her go, and kept from her that he was going to die). so it's like they're going in opposite directions now 😥

👥 the next things that happens (which i strongly suspect happened at the same time, at least this! but idk😫) is Glottus's death / Skreem's disapperance. important events, because they bring Fry and Lars to a shift. to the end of the equilibrium and comfort they had created with them, and into the cold cruel reality.

👥 this is what opens the next phase of their plots (the one we still have to see (oh boyyyy)).

👥 one more Big Thing i noticed is about the baby. how it was actually lars's desire, the very first conversation he has with leela in the story, and he's not the father. while fry doesn't even know anything about it, the only real contant with it was when he kissed leela's belly that one time, when he was out of it (but he didn't even know she was pregnat 😟 unfair), and yet he's the father. this is like, the saddest irony 😟😟😟

[janeturenne]

NnnnnnOPE

Final thoughts on Desperate Measures

tl;dr: I’m pretty furious, y’all

Gallifrey has always been a female power fantasy.  Always.  Romana and Leela were the central dynamic, more important to one another than anyone else.  Their choices drove the action.  They were independent, and they were leaders.  They were and are brilliant, strong, flawed, and wonderful heroes.  Their best antagonists, Pandora and Darkel and Livia, were also women*.  In a show like this one, that was an astonishingly rare and wonderful thing

And in this season--at a real-world moment when, as the oh so deliberate parallels to modern-day politics, specifically American politics (sorry y’all, but the LITERAL SLOGANS) made obvious, WE COULD USE A FEMALE POWER FANTASY MORE THAN EVER--we had a whole series full from top to toe of female characters being defeated, dismissed and literally murdered by male characters.  We had precious little female agency of any kind, and not one moment of real triumph from any of our female leads.  We watched them, instead, quite literally vanish one by one.  No female character either killed or saved another person (male characters did both).  No female protagonist character drove the plot to any significant degree--and the female antagonists specifically were having their stings pulled by, or acting for the benefit of, male characters.  

Ace, despite seeing through Brax almost immediately, still couldn’t get the better of him.  Leela, despite knowing full well that the Master was bad news and being on her guard around him, was likewise outmaneuvered.  Romana’s biggest single decision of the whole series, the choice to run for President, happened  only at Narvin’s urging, and with the aforementioned results.  She only talked with the Daleks (what the fuck was that  about) as part of a plan of Brax’s, and behaved wildly out of character by remaining inactive at times she never usually would.  Romana’s greatest flaw is her need to do everything herself.  SHE could’ve accompanied Leela to interrogate Valentine--what was the point of sending the Master?  And in what universe would she possibly not go searching for a missing Leela?  I can just about accept she wouldn’t be able to justify leaving Gallifrey to search for Ace in the middle of a war, but it would not matter in Leela’s case--she would move heavens and earth to rescue Leela from danger.  As opposed to apparently forgetting her existence almost immediately, and barely even mentioning her in Desperate  Measures.

I understand that by virtue of being a Time War story, this was a series about things falling apart.  I do.  I can hear you say “that was the point: that in a world where female voices are not heard or respected, things go to hell.”  Guess what: we KNOW that.  We do not need to be fucking told.  And that would be a more believable framing if this season had been full of attempted plans on Romana, Leela and Ace’s parts that were then thwarted.  It was not.  It was full of all three of them playing almost purely reactive roles, coasting along in other people’s narratives, and suffering for it.

It is literally 5 AM, and I’m not coherent enough to do this post justice.  But I am so, so angry and disappointed that I literally want to throw up.  And I will no doubt have more to say about this on the other side of sleep.

*Or female-coded nb folks, for all the mentioned characters.  However you read them, they challenge traditional cis-male power structures.

[popcultureliterary]

Verbal and Situational Irony: Putting the Funny in Futurama

Narratives of all types, from books to cartoons, utilize multiple literary devices in order to craft engaging experiences for their audience. Today, we’re taking a look at one of these literary devices, irony, and we’re using Matt Groening’s Futurama to do it!

Why Futurama? Comedy shows offer many great examples of irony, often taking advantage of this literary device in order to produce hilarious or unexpected outcomes. Futurama is especially good at using it, and even talks about it by name in the episode “The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings.”

What is Irony?

You’ll often see irony defined as a situation where the outcome is the opposite of what was expected, or as a difference between expectation and reality. I personally have never found these particular descriptors to be overly helpful. The Oxford English Dictionary offers a fairly comprehensive definition:

“A state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what was or might be expected; an outcome cruelly, humorously, or strangely at odds with assumptions or expectations.”

The OED also offers wording that calls it a type of “feigned ignorance,” if that helps you get a better grasp on this slippery definition.

Authors and creators use this device in order to add layers of meaning and interest to their work. It is especially useful for creating humorous situations, emphasizing truths, or implying contempt for a situation, concept, or person. Irony also creates situations in the work that make the audience think and use their imagination in order to understand the truth. Sure, the creator of a particular work could come out and say what they actually mean without using it, but that wouldn’t be as fun for the audience.

There are a few different types to familiarize yourself with, the three most common being verbal, situational, and dramatic irony. These three literary devices are similar, while also managing to be fairly distinct from one another. Remembering the differences is where it gets tricky for many people. Today, we’re tackling verbal and situational, but keep an eye out in the near future for a post about the dramatic type!

Verbal Irony: Saying What You Don’t Mean

The Encyclopedia Britannica offers an excellent definition of verbal irony, calling it wording where “the real meaning is concealed or contradicted by the literal meanings of the words.”

Bender also offers a fine definition in this video: https://youtu.be/-x0vMpFMQF4 (which you can find at the bottom of this post!)

Verbal irony is when someone says one thing, but they really mean something else. The “something else” is usually the opposite of the literal meaning of the words used. If I say that my friend’s hands are as warm as frozen lake water, I’m using irony to let you know that my friend’s hands are freezing cold (bonus example: they probably don’t need to see a doctor about that, it’s a completely normal temperature for human hands). As you might have guessed from the(se) example(s), this literary device can take many forms, from  things like metaphors and similes to statements.

What About Sarcasm?

Earlier, I mentioned that irony is often used to imply contempt, which really comes into play for sarcasm. Sarcasm tends to be a point of division for many people, however. While some people consider sarcasm to be a form of irony because it is language that means the opposite of its literal definition, others argue that it isn’t related. You’ll have to make up your own mind on where you think sarcasm belongs.

Situational Irony

A situation where you expected (or desired) one outcome, and an opposite one resulted is an example of situational irony. It is a reversal of expectations, in a way. As mentioned before, Futurama does an excellent job of using it to pull off memorable gags. Just think about all of the times that Leela suddenly goes from fighting for a good cause to fighting against that cause, or the times when her good intentions result in an outcome that is opposite to what she was aiming for. (Think about the time she tries to save the Popplers and ends up on the menu herself, or that time she made a “save the fox” sign and then tried to murder the fox with said sign after the little furball wrecked her hand-crafted sign.)

In “The Deep South,” we see another example when Dr. Zoidberg finally gets a home of his own. The Planet Express crew is trapped at the bottom of the ocean, but things are finally looking up for Dr. Zoidberg (Hooray for Zoidberg)! Unfortunately, his triumph is short lived. His home mysteriously burns down despite being under water. Of course, an underwater home burning down is the opposite of what anybody might have anticipated.

The episode “In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela” offers an example using Zap Branigan. Throughout the whole series, Zap tries his hardest to entice Leela to his bedroom. His efforts are generally always fruitless because Leela has no interest in the captain who is as misogynistic as he is unqualified. When he manages to trick Leela into believing they’re the last humans in the universe, he finally almost succeeds in seducing her before she catches on.

As Zap’s plans fall apart, the V-GINY spacecraft arrives and threatens to destroy the planet unless they consummate what it believes is a relationship based on love. At this moment, Leela begrudgingly accepts, but Zap suddenly develops stage fright despite getting what he’s always after. Given what we know about Zap Branigan, we as the audience would have expected an opposite outcome, where Leela says no and Zap is ready and willing to do what he must to protect the planet.

Let’s once more give a nod to the episode “The Devil’s Hands are Idle Playthings” to see a few other fine examples.

When the Robot Devil grows tired of watching Fry’s opera, he leaps up onto the stage and exclaimed “You can’t just make the characters say how they feel!” It is apparent that in addition to disliking being made a mockery on the stage, Robot Devil holds a fine appreciation for the arts and might tell Fry a thing or two about how to write a play. That is the expectation, at least, but then the Robot Devil follows up his statement with “That makes me feel angry!” His outburst demonstrates situational irony because the audience likely didn’t expect him to express how he feels after saying that characters shouldn’t do that.

My favorite example from the whole episode occurs near the beginning. As Fry and Bender wait for the Robot Devil’s massive wheel of misfortune to finish spinning and tell Fry what poor robot he will get hands from, there are many hints that Fry will receive Bender’s hands. Audiences familiar with this type of scenario might assume that Bender and Fry will switch hands because that’s usually what happens when this type of plot plays out. The expectation is further solidified by the verbal and visual hints dropped throughout the scene.

Unfortunately for the Robot Devil, an ironic twist leads to him switching hands with Fry instead. Frustrated with the whole outcome, he shouts about the irony of the situation, to which bender responds “that’s not ironic, it’s just coincidental.” Bender’s line here adds multiple layers to the irony that’s just been dropped.

Bender is both correct and mistaken when he says it is just coincidence. From a narrative perspective, Bender is wrong. The situation is absolutely a reversal of the expectations built by the episode and other stories following similar plots. The audience likely expect Bender and Fry to swap hands, and the results are the opposite of what is anticipated.

In what way is Bender right, you might ask. Let’s imagine being in Bender and Fry’s shoes. The pair have no expectations about the outcome of the Robot Devil’s wheel because they are unaware of the narrative techniques and hints telling the audience what to expect. They don’t have any expectations, so the outcome isn’t ironic in any way for them, and comes off as mere coincidence. This detail might say something about the Robot Devil’s awareness of how their narrative-driven universe works. (For audience members who didn’t pick up on the hints about Fry receiving Bender’s hands, or who thought that Fry would receive the Robot Devil’s hands due to the title of the episode, this scene might not come across as ironic either).

That’s Not Ironic, It’s Just Mean!

Keep in mind that irony isn’t just the occurrence of something unfortunate as the result of something else. It is important to remember that situational irony is specifically a situation where there is a reversal of expectation, and the result of a situation is the opposite of what was expected.

Let’s take a look at an example from “30% Iron Chef,” where Bender tries to turn his horrible cooking skills into something noteworthy. While on his quest, Bender meets an elderly hobo who used to be a well-known TV chef. Bender makes a meal for this man that ends up killing him.

If this was all there was to the scene, this would not be an example of irony at all. It’s just a depressing outcome of a situation. There is no reversal of expectations to be had here, other than the expectation that eating food won’t usually kill people.

There is irony to be found in the scene, however, when you add in the details that I left out! Prior to the deadly meal, the elderly ex-chef trains Bender on how to be a better chef. Usually, a lengthy montage like this brings about improvement in the trained skill, which leads audience members to expect this type of change to occur. The fact that Bender’s skills don’t improve at all (and might even have gone backwards) is a reversal of what we would ordinarily expect. The hobo’s death is not ironic on its own, but it is ironic that even after all of that training from an experienced and confident teacher, Bender’s food is deadly.

I Was Being Ironic

People often use irony in the real world as well. It is most often used in order to prove a point or make a bold statement. If someone wrote a song about how horrible music is, their song would be purposefully ironic because they used music to make their statement. Likewise, someone who creates an infographic about how worthless infographics are is purposefully using irony to make their point.

Take a Breather

Irony enhances narratives so that creators and authors can express comedy, contrast reality and expectation, or make memorable statements about what they believe to be true. It’s a useful tool, and does a lot to engage the audience and make them think about the intended meaning.

Today, we looked at two common types: verbal and situational. These forms appear often in narratives, but they can also be used in real life. These aren’t the only types of irony that you’ll need to know, however. Keep an eye out for a future post talking about a third type: dramatic irony.

In the meantime, if you’re looking for other resources to help you gain a stronger understanding of this literary device, I’d like to point you in the direction of a clever infographic by The Oatmeal.

Do you have a favorite example of irony from Futurama or other pop culture works? Share them in the comments! You can also connect on Twitter at @Popliterary, or send a message.

[isagrimorie]

@glompcat replied to your post “Re-listening to Legacy of Time, Big Finish’s 20 year anniversary audio...”

One of the things that frustrates me with Collision Course (I have a loooong list, although ultimately I do love it) is how okay Ten was with dealing with Leela, who LITERALLY was a War Doctor companion. He's just casually hugging someone he last saw during the war! Like at the very least they didn't let Ten actually see or interact with Romana there (way too much was already happening to even start to properly deal with that) but that casual hug really bothers me. Ten was so very defined by his war related trauma, and this was the first time we see him really encountering someone who knew the War Doctor (aside from seeing War himself in the 50th anniversary special, of course), and he just... hugs her and says hello like it really is no big deal for him at all?

Ah! See, I didn’t even know that Leela becomes the War Doctor’s companion! I’m only in the first boxset and that actually makes it worse! 

And yes, I agree, Ten was defined by his war trauma! So Ten just casually waltzing into a time that time ship and watching his pasts and Leela and being happy about it without a hint of his self-loathing nor epic Ten Angst... doesn’t ring true of the character. They should have held off from getting Tennant. 

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should, writers! 

@joest-ross replied to your post “Re-listening to Legacy of Time, Big Finish’s 20 year anniversary audio...”

The one thing that's both incredibly charming and often frustrating about Who is that so many of its creatives today were fans of the show yesterday. Lots of deep understanding of the show, but also sometimes cheesy fanfic you wrote with your friends

Agree! It’s one of the things I agree with with Chibnall, in one of his podcast interviews he mentions how sometimes the fan takes hostage of the writer and all you want to do is write that self-indulgent fanfic you’ve been writing in your head. 

I mean, not all fanfic is bad but there is a specific self-indulgence in fic that won’t fly in a show that needs mainstream appeal.

IMO it’s why a lot of Virgin New Adventures doesn’t have a wider appeal, it’s all so deep into lore, navel gazing, and convoluted stories. 

I have issues with RTD but how he brought Doctor Who back in 2005 -- without really dipping into the Doctor’s time and mythology, worked. I guess he learned from the mistakes of the TV Movie where it threw the American viewers into the deep end of the pool and then tried to hit all the check boxes of Doctor Who lore: Daleks, Skaro, regeneration, Gallifrey, eye of harmony. 

It became a mess. 

And much as Doctor Who fans wanted to be pandered to in s11, that approach throwing everything in and the Time Lord kitchen sink won’t work. Their mandate from the BBC was clear: They need to recruit new viewers.