#this pose was so fun to do I can’t lie

[sevenofdiamondsart]

dazai for @lotus-pear ‘s dtiys! congrats on 5k (well 6k now ahaha)!!!

[esote-rika]

Red is Your Color | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!bau!reader

Category: smut 18+ MDNI

Summary: You just committed perhaps the most atrocious wrongly sent message ever. By some trick of nature, your coworker is more than willing to play along. (This is from @imagining-in-the-margins Wrong Recipient prompt list. Character receives scandalous selfies from a coworker; check out her prompts, they're really fun!)

Content: softdom!spencer, fingering, multiple orgasms (female receiving), p in v, creampie, reader is on the pill, Spencer calls reader a naughty girl and pretty girl, tenderness and lots of checking in, vaguely Christmas themed. 

Word count:  3.1k

A/N: I read something really poetic and profound yesterday and it inspired me to write, but my mind was in the gutter, so this happened. lmfao happy holidays. UNEDITED, I wrote this at 2 in the morning T.T

Do you think Santa would bend me over and punish me?

Spencer Reid was almost too scared to even open the following messages—he’d already made the mistake of opening this one. And there was a barrage of them, sent a few minutes after the very first one, in quick succession, one right after the other. His phone buzzed and buzzed, matching the distracting hum in his brain at the moment. He should probably read the next messages, because surely, surely those contain the explanation to this one.

Unfortunately, his eyes were glued on this first one—it seemed like it was the only one that contained a picture, after all, and what was that they said about a picture saying a thousand words?

What could it mean then, this picture his coworker had sent to him? What did it mean that he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from it? (What did it imply if he didn’t want to? That he liked the picture? That it made his pants uncomfortably tighter?)

He stared at the picture, his eyes greedily taking every inch of smooth skin exposed by the short, strapless sexy Santa dress his coworker was wearing. It wasn’t explicit—she was fully dressed, after all, but the caption, paired with the way she had been posed… Sitting on what he presumed was her bathroom counter, her legs artfully crossed, the fabric of the dress hiked up to reveal long, luscious thighs. With her pursed lips painted crimson, it was obvious what the message was meant to imply and Spencer felt his mouth grow dry. He shifted on his seat, both hands gripping his phone because he didn’t trust them not to wander down, to give himself relief.

No, he should not be jerking off to his coworker. He shouldn’t even be fucking looking at this photo. He should delete it, call Penelope and ask her to rewire his cloud or memory or data or whatever it was called. Just to get rid of it from his phone. That would be the decent thing to do, and Spencer had always prided himself on being a gentleman. 

He knew that would be futile; knew his mind would be treacherous and have the image of her with those supple thighs, and red mouth in his dreams, his nightmares, in every fantasy—

His phone was ringing.

He stared at it, wondering how she was sending so many messages so quickly, before he realized that she wasn’t texting anymore.

She was calling.

His thumb found the answer button without his consent. The next thing he knew, her voice was pouring from his phone’s speaker. Soft. Contrite. Embarrassed. He frowned. What on earth was she embarrassed about, he wondered. She, who looked stunning, who looked good enough to be worshipped—

“—Please say something, Spence.” she was saying, pleading, and something in his gut clenched. That nickname, coming from her lips. That nickname, coming from her lips, while she was wearing that dress.

“Spence—”

“It’s all right,” his voice was strangled. He cleared his throat, “It’s all right. I’ve deleted it.” Lie, what a liar, she deserved better than hastily told lies.

“Okay,” she sighed, relief palpable even without seeing her face to face, “I just didn’t want to get in trouble with HR, on top of everything.”

HR. He almost laughed. They wouldn’t care (unless someone blabbed, like what happened with Derek and Penelope, but he would never do that to her, not in a million years.)

“You wouldn’t, I promise… it wasn’t even that explicit, if I’m being honest.” he heard himself say. He rubbed his eyes in frustration—why did he have to add that?

Her laughter floats from the phone, nervous and low. “I guess not. I wasn’t about to send a complete nude to my friends.”

He straightened up, confused. “Your friends?”

“Yeah,” she replied, her voice still wavering nervously, “Like I said in my texts, it was wrongly sent to you, I was talking to my friends.”

In other words, it wasn’t for him. He would have known that, had he opened her texts, had he not been too busy ogling the picture she had mistakenly sent, the picture that wasn’t even for him. Something unpleasant burned in his chest, but he ignored it in favor of the curiosity that lingered.

“You send explicit pictures to your friends?”

“I thought you said it wasn’t that explicit,” she chuckled, “But, uh, yeah I do… I dunno, maybe that’s weird, but we were joking around.”

That was something new he learned today. That friends could casually send sexually charged photos to each other. The words flew out of his mouth before he could stop them. “So you don’t actually want to be bent over and punished?”

Dear heavens, sometimes he understood why his teammates gave him weird looks. If he had a mirror, he would give himself a weird look. Still, he held his breath for her answer, surprised by the wave of disappointment at the thought of her saying no, it was just a silly text.

The pause grew between them, and Spencer was almost about to apologize, when she spoke again.

“I mean, if someone were willing to do it…”

He swallowed. His pants felt tight once again, and he had to force himself to take deep breaths. This was not an invitation, he thought, she had not asked him, she was not saying if you wanted to do it (which, he does, desperately so.)

“Right.” he managed to croak. Another pause, as if she was contemplating. 

“Spencer,” she was whispering now, “Do you want to?”

“Yes.”

“How fast can you get here?”

“Give me fifteen minutes.”

You’re not sure what possessed you into inviting your coworker over, but you did. And now, you’re sitting in your living room, in that blasted sexy Santa dress, panic texting your friends about it. He had said fifteen minutes. Eight minutes had gone by, and you knew he would fulfill his promise. He would be here in seven minutes.

Perhaps you weren’t expecting him to agree. Your perception of Spencer Reid has always been of a sweet genius, wholly brilliant and too preoccupied with academics to even give a second thought to sex and romance. He was a germaphobe, for crying out loud, you had thought it would make him have some sort of aversion to the inevitable sticky, sweaty mess of two bodies coming together. 

But you’d heard it in his voice. Strained, low, and riddled with desire. 

So you had mustered enough courage to ask. And now—

Your doorbell cut through your thoughts. Taking a deep breath, you shoved your phone into a drawer, not wanting to see the offensive piece of technology for the rest of the night. You looked out through the peephole, and there he was, still in his office clothes. Tall, and slender, and dishevelled and yours for the night.

You pulled the door open, ignoring the heavy thump in your chest. 

He smiled. “Hi.”

“You’re early.” You teased, standing aside to let him in. His eyes were glued to you, pupils dilating as he took you in.

“You’re still wearing the dress.”

Right. Once you had realized you sent the text to Spencer instead of your friends, you had spent the next several minutes in agonizing anxiety, sending text after text to Spencer in an effort to explain. In your utter mortification, you had forgotten to change out of it.

He seemed to like that. It gave you enough confidence to surge forward, blindly, recklessly.

“I am.” You said, red lips tugging into a smile you reserved for handsome strangers at a bar. You lowered your voice, just enough for the next words to come out breathless, “Honestly, it’s a little itchy.” 

“Is it?” He stepped forward, crowding you into the door. It creaks as it moves with your weight, the knob clicking in place. He reached forward, and you held your breath, anticipating his hands on you, gently running over your skin, but instead they closed over the doorknob, locking it. He didn’t miss your reaction, though, his eyes a glittering night sky of sweet, utter want. “Maybe I can help you with it.”

You nodded, mouth parted in silence, whatever words you wanted to say have died in your throat.

He brought his hand up, caressing your jaw, and you marvelled at how large his hands are, long fingers reaching the nape of your neck. “Red is your color.” he murmured, before leaning in to capture your lips.

His lips were cold and chapped, and you returned his kiss eagerly in an attempt to warm them. Your mouth opens at one swipe of his tongue, moaning as he leans his whole body into you, pushing you harder against the door. Tonight, you learned that Spencer Reid, the sweet, unassuming genius, kisses like he wants to crawl into you. It’s a sloppy mess of tongue and teeth, and a whimper escaped your mouth as he bit your lower lip.

“Too much?” he asked, pulling away for a moment. 

As an answer, you wrapped your hands around his neck, and returned the fervor of his kisses. You heard him chuckle, felt it on your own tongue as it happened and it made your knees buckle from sheer want. 

His arms wrapped around your waist, hoisting you up into his embrace. You felt him move, stumbling across your apartment before setting you down again. The blunt edge of a drawer hit your lower back, just as he pulled away. 

A whine left your lips. You didn’t know if it was from the pain, or the loss of his kiss.

“Turn around, darling.” he murmured, but your brain was so damn distracted you just stared at him blankly. He grinned, hands at your hips gently maneuvering you to face away from him. “You said you wanted to be bent over.” 

Chills went down your spine as he pushed you forward, elbows landing on the smooth, wooden desk. 

“Y-yeah, I did say that.” you managed to reply. This time, the breathless quality in your voice was not an affectation. You felt his nose on your neck, pushing away the stray locks of hair, before his mouth landed over the skin, open and wet, traversing the expanse of your flesh with reckless ardor. You moaned, craning your head back in a wordless plea for more.

You felt teeth, the sting of it clamping over your flesh. You didn’t even realize you’d yelped until he stopped.

“Sorry,” he whispered, soothing the bite with his kisses.

“It’s okay,” You replied, one hand reaching up, running through his hair. “Do it again.”

The rumble of his laughter made your stomach warm. He sunk his teeth into your neck again, sucked at the spot he bit, and you would have face planted into the desk had it not been for his hands holding you up. 

“You’re a naughty girl,” he purred against your skin, “Aren’t you? Sending that picture to me, I bet it wasn’t even an accident.”

“It was,” you protested, but then he grinds his crotch into your ass and any indignation was stifled by the feeling of how damn hard he was. “It was - I didn’t mean to—”

“You didn’t mean to make me this hard?” he asked, rolling his hips against you, “I think you knew exactly what you were doing, naughty girl.” Before you could answer, you felt something digging into your ass. He was tugging at your panties. To the side, as if he couldn’t even be bothered to strip it off of you. 

It was hot as all hell.

“My god, you’re absolutely soaked for me.” he groaned into your ear, and you gasped as the rough pads of his fingers ran through your cunt. Somehow, his fingers have remained cold, and the sensation sent a shudder down your spine.

“S-Spencer,” you whined, knuckles finding leverage at the edge of the desk you’ve been sprawled over.

“Mhm? What is it, darling?”

“M-more.”

His laughter filled the room once again, “And I thought I was being needy.” he said, but he obliged your request easily, slipping two fingers into your pussy. His breath fanned over the overheated skin of your neck as he buried his face against your shoulder, “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” you moved your hips against his hand, chasing the rhythm of his fingers. You’d never enjoyed this by yourself; your own fingers were thin, too short to cause any sort of pleasure when you touched yourself. But Spencer’s hands were large, his fingers long and elegant and perfect. They curled inside you, hitting a spot you’ve never been able to with your own hands, and you cried “Oh, fuck yes!”

It was everything. Quite literally. His arm was holding you against him, his body a solid, lean mass behind you, pressing into the slopes of your own, digging in wherever your softness yields to his hard angles. You moaned and moaned again, as his fingers quickened, as his thumb found your clit and rubbed fast circles until your arms gave out and your entire upper half was splayed on the desk. 

He didn’t stop, cooing soft words into your ear, his tongue and lips and teeth a whole other dangerous territory of its own. You knew you would have hickeys tomorrow. You knew the team would ask questions. You didn’t particularly care.

“Can you take more?” he asked, and you nodded, eager to take whatever he was going to give. A third finger slid into your dripping cunt, stretching you in ways you haven’t felt in a long time and you groaned, head buried in your arms. He paused, his other hand rubbing circles on your hip, “Are you all right, darling?”

“Yes.” you sobbed, and you knew he wouldn’t believe you because you sounded sad, and everything that Spencer has done up until this point proved that, despite it all, he cared. 

“You can tell me if it’s too much, you know.” he murmured. His lips laved featherlight kisses along your shoulder.

“I’m fine,” you insisted, bucking your hips. The idea of being slightly incoherent from the pleasure he’s been giving you was a little too enticing, and you were in no mood to stop, “Please.”

“Okay,” he resumed his ministrations, slower this time, dragging his fingers in and out of you with a precise rhythm, now that he’s figured out your weak spots. “You are so pretty like this, darling. Dress hiked up, your lipstick smudged.”

A mewl came out of your throat, and you would have been embarrassed if you still had the presence of mind to feel an ounce of shame. He coaxed a second orgasm from you, and you marveled at the fact that he could elicit responses like these with just his fingers. It seemed unfair, but a large part of you reveled in it.

“That’s it,” he whispered, slowly pulling his fingers out, “That’s my pretty girl.”

You lifted your head from your arms. The sight that welcomes you is a blurry one, impeded by the clumpy eyelashes and messy tears that had gathered in your eyes. You knew you looked a mess, far from the pretty girl he kept repeating, but you ate up the praise all the same.

As if by their own accord, your hips move back, grinding into his erection. You wanted more. You wanted him to be in the same daze you were in right now, wanted to be one. “Spencer,” you whined, and he laughed, and you wondered if it was possible to get drunk off of a sound.

“You’re insatiable, aren’t you?” he replied, playfully chastising, but the sound of his belt buckle reached your ears and you grinned.

“Just wanna make sure you get something too.” you mumbled.

“Is this a bad time to tell you that I had forgotten a condom?”

Now it was your turn to laugh, bracing yourself on your elbows again, and looking over his shoulder.

“Wow, isn’t your whole thing the complete opposite of forgetting?”

“I was a little distracted.” he said, his smile sheepish.

“I don’t mind,” you replied, “I’m on the pill.” 

“You’re sure?”

“Mhm-hmm.” You nodded, one arm moving and blindly grasping for the zipper of your Santa dress. His hand gently encircled your wrist, placing it back on the desk.

“It stays on,” he said, as the blunt tip of his cock pushed past your pussy, “I told you, red is your color.”

Your mouth dropped open as he sheathed himself inside you in one thrust, and wordless expression of pleasure. He had spent a large chunk of time fucking you with his fingers, and the necessity of it dawned upon you now.

He was big.

The stretch made you groan, eyes squeezing shut as your pussy fluttered around him. He pressed his body over yours, pushing you into the desk as he began to rock, in and out of you. Involuntarily, you clenched around him, earning a sharp hiss.

“You feel so good,” he groaned, holding you tightly around the waist with one arm. The other went to the desk, steadying himself as he found a rhythm that made you writhe beneath him, “Oh god, yes.”

You couldn’t even respond, your body moving on autopilot, meeting his every thrust with your hips. The sounds your bodies made were obscene, wet, sloppy noises of flesh meeting flesh. It filled your head, made you dizzy with pleasure. 

“Spencer,” at this point, you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve repeated his name. The world has anchored all meaning to that one sound, and you said it, over and over again, “Spencer.”

“Mhm,” he responded by snapping his hips, pushing his cock so deep into your toes curl, “That’s it, darling, say my name.”

“Spencer,” you said in your broken voice, every repetition turning higher and higher in pitch, and it seemed like the higher your voice went, the harder he fucked you. Your desk banged against the wall from his rough thrusts, joining the cacophony of sounds from your coupling. 

His pace grew rougher, faster, his grip on you reaching the point of painful and bruising, but it made your head spin in the most delicious way possible. You clenched around him, squeezing his cock in an attempt to find your peak, and instead initiating his.

“Fuck—” he groaned, as his load exploded inside you, somehow filling you even more, and you dropped your head to the desk again as your own body shuddered with release. 

Panting, and exhausted, you both stayed there, bent over the desk half upright, like a tower about to topple. He kissed the back of your neck as you fought to catch your breath. Looking over your shoulder, the sight of him fills your vision, hair tousled and sticking to his forehead, his lips smudged with your lipstick, and you couldn’t help but think that red is his color too.

[pinkhoodi]

bat dads or girl dads ? girl dads !

✎ᝰ — bat boys as girl dads !

♡⃕ — bruce wayne, dick grayson, jason todd x reader

♡⃕ — genre + warnings: fluff + children ??

♡⃕ — a/n: dick as a father would make me- nvm that !

꒰ BRUCE WAYNE ꒱

Ꮺ “no” rarely exists and he realized that a while ago. when his beautiful daughter was first born, he would be stern (still loving) and make sure to deny any of his daughter’s requests. as years go and his daughter gets older, it becomes harder to say no to his precious child

Ꮺ he won’t admit it but it’s something about her adorable features that make it harder and harder to say no. even if it’s the most wildest request, he’ll try to accomplish it or tell her “I’ll think about it”. the cute pout, the ways her eyes widen, and her adorable going please please please dad. how can he say no :(

Ꮺ BUT if he can’t obtain that request, his favorite excuse is “I’ll think about it”. even when his daughter catches onto his games, he’ll continue use it and just throw on an extra lie to help out

Ꮺ bruce is the dilf that everyone flirts with and it’s exhausting for him. he tries to avoid pta meetings at all costs but can’t cause his daughter loves those meetings. while the women flirt, the daughter gets free cookies ;p

Ꮺ this man bruce is studying long and gruesome hours on how to raise a girl. raising his eldest son at ten years old is the closest thing he had and it wasn’t helping. prepare yourself for the “am I doing this right?” “is this good for her?” “are you sure this is what we should give her?”

Ꮺ surprisingly, he became quickly accustomed to his bat cave and his office being glittered and glammed. the buttons on the monitor have stickers and his batmobile having a bow on it

Ꮺ learning from his mistakes from his other children, he will try to leave little to no detail about his night activities to his daughter. she knows about the bat cave (due to exploring and being bored in the mansion) but he refuses to take her on missions and don’t allow her to be in the bat cave if the mission is extremely dangerous

Ꮺ daddy-daughter days is something bruce prioritizes! he doesn’t care what is planned before or after that, he’ll make one day every month to spend time with his daughter. whether it be going to the mall, the movies, spending the day at a kids play center, or even napping. that day in his calendar is meant for his daughter and his daughter only

꒰ JASON TODD ꒱

Ꮺ the most laidback father you could ever meet BUT he knows when it’s time to be concerning and when it’s time to be the fun dad

Ꮺ the man almost passed out when his gorgeous daughter was born. he couldn’t take how adorable his lil girl was in the room, he had to step out and started crying. he couldn’t believe he’s a father now :(

Ꮺ it does take jason time to adjust being a father. his patience isn’t the best but he is learning ! he tries as much as he can to unpack all his bad qualities and become better for his daughter before she was born

Ꮺ as much as he is laidback, he is also very cautious and makes sure to have all his weapons away and locked up from his daughter. he refuses to let ANY incident happen just cause he was being careless

Ꮺ he is one to always allow his daughter to decorate his face, no matter how ridiculous he looks. he’ll gladly pose with stickers on his eyelids, three bows on his head and one tied on his wrist, and heart glasses on if it makes his daughter happy

Ꮺ his daughter is lowkey his mood maker. he won’t admit but however his daughter feels is how HE feels. but he won’t take it out on her, absolutely not ! if she’s grumpy, he’s grumpy with her. she’s hungry ? he’s hungry as well. even if he’s feeling fine, he’ll play along with her so she can get what she want from YOU (mischievous mfs mmcht)

꒰ DICK GRAYSON ꒱

Ꮺ the most girliest dads of all girl dads <333. he’s there for any and everything and is NEVER one to say no to his daughter. though sometimes he doesn’t realize when to be a disciplined dad and a fun dad

Ꮺ he’ll make sure to never, and I mean never, have his daughter follow into the life that he is in. as much he enjoys saving gotham and bludhaven, he refuses to let his daughter lead into a life of danger and being unsure of whether or not he’ll be home soon

Ꮺ he has an endless amount of pics of him and his daughter. his lockscreen is you and him holding her at six months old, his homescreen being his daughter at one years old, and even his voicemail is him and his daughter saying hi and sorry to miss your call

Ꮺ being a dad is something dick cherishes so much and he’ll gift everything his child wants and more. he’ll do any and everything to have his daughter be happy, even if he can’t get it

Ꮺ between him and his daughter, the exchanges of “I love you dad” and “I love you more” happen more on his side. many “I love yous” as the two of them giggle and he kisses her forehead. they’re so cute :(

Ꮺ unlike bruce, he loves going to pta meetings. he does get uncomfortable with the flirting from other moms but he’s really only there for the free treats and how to better improve his daughter’s education

Ꮺ the biggest gift giving dad as well ! he likes coming home with a surprise in his hand and hearing his daughter gasp and smile at the gift in his hand. it warms his heart when she says thank you and hugs his leg tightly, nearly squeezing it with the gift in her hand

Ꮺ the two nap a lot together. it’s one of dick’s favorite pastime when he’s relaxing with crime fighting

♡⃕ the bat boys as girl dads ☹️🫶🏽. it would be uber cute seeing jason walk into his helmet decorated in barbie stickers

𝐕𝐎𝐓𝐏 💗: 2 thessalonians 3:3

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦 𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗄𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽𝗂. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[leclercstars]

ROCKSTAR [pt. 2]

Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Things heat up in your hotel room after Lando and Oscar signed your tits at COTA. It’s okay to drunk text a celebrity… right?

Warnings: 18+ alcohol, sexting, masturbation implied

this one is so fun i cant even lie

You flopped lazily onto your hotel bed. It was almost 1, and you were basically hammered after spending the night in downtown Austin. You got plenty of wide-eyed stares when people noticed the famous signatures prominently displayed on your cleavage. You were still in shock about that whole situation- and it felt like a dream in your drunken haze

You opened your phone to give your best friend back home an update on your weekend- when you suddenly saw the unsaved number in your phone. Fuck. You had ACTUALLY forgotten about that part of your day. You groaned with exhaustion and confusion. What the hell were you supposed to do with Lando’s number? Especially after that comment he made about “saving the pictures for later”

Whatever. You could worry about that in the morning. The vodka sodas spilled all down the front of you coupled with the faded and smeared signatures had you looking like a wreck. You stumbled to the bathroom to get in the shower- hoping that would help you clear your head.

You stripped down and then turned to face the mirror- the signatures now even more visible in your nakedness. You were feeling bold.

“Finally about to wash you off of me lol” you texted Lando. You hastily set the phone face down on the counter- but it buzzed back at you almost immediately.

“Oh yeah? Let me get one last look before you do” Lando responded.

“Is he asking me for nudes right now? What in the actual fuck is my life,” you thought.

You posed in the mirror- leaning forward to push your tits together so the signatures were extra visible. Your nipples were piqued from the coldness of the hotel- but you were so drunk you couldn’t really tell if you actually looked good. Fuck it. You hit send.

A minute passed. Two minutes passed. Your heart was thumping.

“Fuck baby,” was the response you saw on your glowing screen.

“Baby? I can’t believe he’s just coming right out of the gate with the pet names,” you thought.

Was he touching himself right now? You sort of hoped so. You put your phone on silent and jumped in the shower. Why not leave him wanting more? Besides- your drunk brain was not fit to be sexting a famous person.

Part 3 from Lando’s POV???

part 1

[yujinnieswifeu]

Can you do sassy insolent baby girl dramatic princesse tomboy reader × who you want

(Reader always make fun of her girlfriend but that's just that she kow her girlfriend to well and that's one of her way to say "i love you" not that she can't say "i love you" but yk. Reader is a good observer too and is in high school, reader is known for laughing a lot and making fun of her friends,classmate,teacher her girlfriend and even her girlfriend friends/members reader is a real troublemaker and quite bad at school too that' swhy she need her girlfriend help too do her homwokrs that doesn'thepl her case too)

i'm sorry i'm just rambling my bad you don't have to read it all

And g!p idol×bottom reader

thank in advance

-🎀

pairings: sub!fem reader x dom g!p Ahn Yujin

warnings: smut, cock warming, p in v, Yujin has a cock, cumming inside pussy (don’t do this irl)

a/n: hi 🎀 anonn~, tq for the request, really had fun with this plot heh and ofc everyone know im gg to write for Yujin when you said any idol 😋 also i tried to add in all the things u said but im pretty sure i missed out some, hope it’s still fine tho😣 enjoy~~

———————————————————————

Another day of school, and you thought it would be any usual day. It started of the same, you waking up later than the alarm you set the previous day, groaning as you groggily make your way to the bathroom to bath, getting dressed for school before rushing out of your apartment when you realised the time. It was only when you reached the gates that you looked at your phone, seeing multiple texts from your girlfriend.

7:35am

Hey cutie, good morning ;). Can’t wait to see you later🥺

8:02am

Baby? Why aren’t you awake yet 😞, miss you sm :(

8:33am

Don’t tell me you’re late again uh? Or are you still sleeping? 🤨

It makes you smile, and you quickly reply to her text, letting her know you just reached school. “Hey Y/n!” You heard a familiar voice, looking up as your face lit at your best friend. “Liz!” You went up to her, giving her a quick hug which made some passer by’s stare but you couldn’t care less. You and Liz were always like this, heck, if you weren’t dating Yujin now, people might think you two were a couple, but of course, word spreads fast in campus.

“Where’s your one and only?” She teases, which you react with a playful eye roll, raising a brow and your hands at your waist as you attempt to make a pose to act all cool. “Well obviouslyyy, she’s later than me!” Liz just laughs, her laughter dying down when she looks to someone behind you, only for you to hear the person cough and you bit your bottom lip. You were definitely in it now if she just heard that. “What did you just say Y/n L/n?” That voice.

It makes you shiver inside, a cheeky chuckle escapes your lips before you turn to pout at your girlfriend, which she rolls her eyes at. “You know, this girl here only replied to me now, and look at her hair, she was obviously rushing, weren’t you Y/n?” You look to Liz for help, watching as she slowly backed away and mouthing a ‘sorry’ before heading off first. “Babeee, why you need to embarrass me like that?” You whine when your best friend had gone, and Yujin smirks, her head tilted slightly with her brow raised.

“And why did you lie to your best friend hm?” You could only pout, your hands tucked in your pockets as your head was down. “I’m just playing with you love, i knew why you did that.” She was softer this time when she sees how you were acting and you gave her a wide smile. She boops your nose with her index which makes you giggle slightly. “Hey lovebirds, class is starting soon you know?” It was Wonyoung this time, her hand slung around your shoulder as she attempted to tease your height again.

“Wony! I’m not that short!” Wonyoung and Yujin laughs instead, and you glare slightly at Yujin who purses her lips together to stop her own laughter. “Sorry babe, you just look so cute.” “You mean when i’m this short?” You retort immediately and she couldn’t stop the smile appearing from her face. “You know why.” She winks, her attempt to flirt with you when Wonyoung was still here makes your face beet red and Wonyoung just blinks her eyes, not understanding a thing. “T-that doesn’t mean i am one!” You argued, and Wonyoung suddenly understood it. “Ohh, we learn something new about Y/n everyday hm?” She joins in and you just rolls your eyes. “We both know Yujin is the bottom!” You try again, sticking your tongue out at them before wiggling your way out of Wonyoung’s grip, before heading to your classroom. “Shall we see later?” Yujin shouts a little as you walked off, and you waved them off, feeling the hotness in your cheeks when you think about it.

。。。

“And that concludes today’s lesson!” Your last period finally ended, and you were so glad it didn’t last any longer. You quickly gathered your things, not forgetting the homework of course, thinking of only one person who can help you with it during the weekends. “Y/n? Can you stay back a little while?” The teacher’s voice makes you stop packing, your heart suddenly racing as you knew it was probably something to do with your grades.

“Sure.”

“So…i’m going to assign someone to be paired with you to help you with learning this topic, is that fine?” You were anxious on who it was, just hoping it wouldn’t be a guy as you nod your head yes. “Okay, hm let me think. I do have a student who is really good in this topic, it is a girl so don’t you worry.” She says, seeing how you were less tense after hearing her say that it would be a female. That was until you found out the student that she mentioned was Yujin, and you suddenly grew all tense again.

“A-and you didn’t tell me about this? You know your grades are important right?” Yujin was frustrated, combing her hair back with her fingers. It was after school when she just dragged you back to her place, her grip tight on your wrist with no explanation whatsoever. It was only when you two were in her room, and she sits you down on her chair rather forcefully that she spilled her frustrations, which brings you to the situation now. You were screwed.

“I…I can explain.” She glares at you, which makes you shut up. You knew in this situation to not talk back, after all, you were weaker in your studies. “I’m not doing your homework for you anymore.” She snaps coldly, a shiver runs down your spine, Yujin has never gotten this upset before so it scared you a little. “Yujin…” “You need to learn to do it yourself.” She continues, her arms now crossed as she looks down at your state. She knew you were feeling tense at the situation, and her chiding you would not be enough to help you. “I’ll help you.” Her tone was softer this time as she kneels, her arms on your thighs as she takes your hand, giving you a reassuring smile that catches your breath every single time.

You could feel your cheeks turning hot, and you let your hair cascade down your face to hide the blush as you bit your bottom lip. “Thank you Yujin ah.” She brushes your hair back behind your ear, and pinches your now red cheeks. “Cute.” You swat her hand away, suddenly feeling even more shy as you cover your face to hide the smile. She laughs, attempting to remove your hands to plant kisses all over your face making you squeal as you melt into her touch.

。。。

“What does this part of the sentence mean?” Yujin ask you for the countless time today, and you just stared at her with a blank face. She groans into her hands, clearly understanding this wasn’t working. “Baby…” she drags, and you pout, playing with your fingers instead. “It’s hard to understand.” You whine out loud, which makes her tilt her head at you, her palm against her cheek as her elbows are against the table. “You were distracted, thats why.” Your girlfriend says sternly, and you knew she was right.

But how could you control that? After all, you get easily distracted by everything, especially when it comes to your girlfriend. Yujin suddenly had an idea, a smirk plastered on her face and you cock a brow at her. “What?” She bites her bottom lip, taking you by the waist over her lap, it makes you gasp, feeling something poking between your asscheeks as you attempt to grind yourself against her even more. “Mm..how about if you’re able to get all the exercises right by the end of today…” You could feel her hand slowly undoing your sweatpants, as it drops down to the floor. “Then i will reward you hm?” You whimper softly, your lips pursed as you gave her a pleading look but she just glares at you.

“Be good, or nothing at all hm.” She wraps her fingers around your neck, not strangling you, but letting you know who was in charge as you gulp slightly. “Y-yes Yujin.” She smiles at your reply, contented with your answer as she asks you to stand, removing her pants. You immediately feel yourself salivating at the sight as she removes her boxers along with her pants, watching how her cock immediately springs up against her tummy, some pre-cum forming at the tip. You wanted to lick it so bad, to kneel and let your girlfriend fuck your mouth like the slut you were for her cock, but you knew she wouldn’t give you what you wanted just yet. “Sit down baby.” She spreads her legs a little, and you understood the assignment.

You sit down slowly on her lap, your back against her front, her hands spreading your asscheeks slightly as you slowly slide her hardened cock inside of you. It makes you moan loudly, hands gripping the desk, your breathing coming out in short breaths when you finally settled on her lap with her cock fully inside of you. Yujin bites her lip to suppress any sounds from escaping her mouth, her hands now pushing the exercise in front of you as she pases you a pen.

“Start.”

。。。

You were almost done with the exercise, and you do not know how long it has been, but it definitely felt like hours have passed. You were sure her chair was now ruined considering how wet you were, your juices were dripping down yours and her thighs. Sometimes, when Yujin shifts, it makes you whimper and you try to grind more against her which she stops immediately as her hands holds your hip in place, her breath fanning hotly against the back of your ear where she warns you to try again. Yujin’s voice was low and sultry, she was getting painfully hard by now, with the way your walls flutters around her when she would shift just the slightest, or when she touches you, it was a torture for her too. She really couldn’t wait to ruin you after this.

“I-i’m done Yujin.” You say rather breathlessly, and Yujin looks over your work, her chin on your shoulder, hearing how your breath hitches and your walls fluttering around her again as her front presses against your back. “My good girl, these are all correct now.” She lets out a satisfied sigh, and feels the way your hips move against her lap, it makes her groan, her head against the back of the chair. “F-fuck, you have no idea…how much i want to ruin you now.” Her voice deep and filled with lust, hands gripping your hips, nails slightly piercing your skin as you continue to ride her reverse cowgirl style. “Please…Y-yujin ruin me please.” You took her hands placing them under your shirt hearing her groan.

“Get up.” You were reluctant to do so, but listen to her instructions as you get up, your legs were weak when you try to stand, your hands gripping the edge of the desk for support. You feel her turning you around, her lips on yours almost instantly and you moan softly into the kiss. Your legs wraps around her, pulling her closer to you and her tip accidentally bumps at your clit. It causes you to jolt, you were sensitive from warming her cock for so long and so was she, another groan leaving her lips. Within seconds, she has your back on the sheets, her hands removing her shirt and bra as you did the same to yours. She strokes her now painfully erect cock, pupils blown with lust as she lines herself up against your sopping cunt and you swore that has to be the hottest thing your girlfriend ever did.

“S-so wet for me..fuck.” She pushes herself in almost forcefully, your walls greedily sucking her in as she moves at a feverish speed. It makes you all breathless, eyes rolling from all the pent up teasing earlier. She has your hands above your head, her head diving down to hungrily attack your bossoms with hickies and licks. You moan even louder for her, pulling at your hands weakly which she has them pinned over your head still, your back arches into her touch, the feeling of her tongue rolling over your nipples makes you clench around her even more. “Don’t..don’t s-stop please..!” Your orgasm was approaching with the way her tip hits your sweet spot with each thrust. You could feel her twitching inside of you, knowing she was close as well, her hands finally leaving your wrists, going to your hips as she pulls it higher up against her legs.

The new angle makes your body squirm, eyes pooling with tears from how her tip drags along your sweet spot, and she pistons even faster, mouth agape. “F-fuck, this pussy was made for me.” She speeds up her movements, feeling how your walls closes around her even more, it makes her breathe heavily, as she watches your body react with each of her thrusts. The sight of your breasts jiggling and teary eyes sends her over the edge as she paints your walls white. You come soon after, head tilting back, eyes rolling as your vision turns white, body spasming as you come all over her, screaming her name. She slowly thrust herself this time, prolonging your shared orgasm as her body comes into contact with yours. It makes you whimper, arms around her bringing her closer to you if that was even possible. “I-i can’t stop love, i’m sorry.” She mutters, and before you knew it, she turns your front against the sheets, your back against her front as she has her arms locked over yours, moaning and breathing against your ears as her cock slides back inside your now puckered hole, and you knew that she was not going to stop anytime soon.

This was definitely not just another usual day.

[deadghosy]

I am in desperate need of more chibi!reader.

What if chibi makes mini cakes in their little mini kitchen and decorates them to the characters colors, and possibly flavor preferences?

Thanks if you do this

❤️ anon

AWW THATS SO CUTEEE!!!💗🦆

CUTE HEADCANNNONS ABOUT CHIBI!READER

WARNING: FLUFF💗🦆

You sometimes snuggle with husk as if he was a mother cat as he purrs having his arm over your small chubby body.

Imagine you and Angel having your own poses with Angel. You and Angel definitely have a whole bunch of photos which is so cool.

Imagine you and your bad ASS HOT PINK PRETTY PRINCESS CAR GOING FOR A JOY RIDE! with of course Lucifer beside you as he controls a toy car that has duck designs on it. I mean shittt you guys race as if you are depending your lives on it

Your car broke down…(Angel forgot to change the batteries for you) you sniffled “depressed” until Angel came back to shown you your new HOT GLAMOUR HOT PINK CAR WITH SPARKLES!?

Yeah….you definitely used it to run over someone’s toes as you smirked with your shades on like a badass bitch.

You have an easy bake oven…

NOW CMONNNN YOOU CANT LIE CHIBI! READER BE COOKIN OUT HERE😭

Literally the crew bought you a mini kitchen set and let you decorate it to your [aesthetic] as you smiled having your hands to your hips as you smiled at this.

Vaggie and Charlie sleeping with you beside them like a baby as you twitch 😭ima cry because that’s actually do adorable imaging a baby chibi reader who sleep so cozy to the point you wanna squish their cheeks.

You feed the crew your mini dishes from your mini kitchen which makes them smile at your effort. You accidentally burnt yourself but you huff with a determined squeak as you kept cooking for them.

You were the one who would put bows in alastor’s hair…and Alastor smiled softly at your affection towards him.

A chubby chibi reader who rubs their cheek against the cast’s thumbs with a soft squeak needy for attention for once as they were getting ignored.

A cute headcannon is that, the cast makes a Day schedule who youvwokd be with every week as it’s just fun tk see you come out of the person’s room with a new attitude and clothing choice.

You patted a toy duck thinking it was real as you made a “quack” sound with a squeak as it was heart aching to Lucifer as he grabs where his heart is and recorded the whole thing

You are having a bubble bath tired in a toy tub like I said before as Charlie coos at how cute you are as she scrubs your soft hair

Your favorite cartoon is hello kitty + SpongeBob as it showed how childish you are and were

I headcannon reader to waddle up against to sir Pentious to show how much you love him. That made him tear up a bit as he shows you off to his eggs

You yawn as you snuggle against anything….ANYTHING! You freaking name it-

You definitely get babied like a real baby but you don’t complain as you just be spoiled rotten by affection. They sure damn know

Imagine reader holding a small toy duck as they softly snooze. Like and there is a this ambience music in the background which makes the reader pass out faster.

Alastor has you on his desk as he makes a broadcast as a victim who tried to stomp on you has been murdered…not like you know anyways.

You are definitely the one people can’t leave for a minute as you would piss anyone off in a second. But you are so cute anyone could forgive you.

THATS ALL I HAVE FOR CUTE HCS🦆💗✨

[littlespoonevan]

Would love to hear more about the Miss Congeniality Au!

ahhh miss congeniality au, my beloved!!!! 💖💗💞💕🩷❤️ truly, truly, truly i feel like this au could be so much FUN if i could find the discipline and motivation to just sit down and write it lmao. but i will say i v much enjoyed fitting all the pieces together for this snippet so here's hoping it awakens something in me askdjhf

i hope you like it 🥰

~

Eddie never imagined becoming a special agent. Then again, he never imagined becoming a single dad either.

But FBI work actually keeps him chained to a desk a hell of a lot more than regular police work used to and the pay’s better.

He’s regretting that decision right about now.

“Eddie, it has to be you.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, quickening his step even as Chimney continues to keep pace with him.

“It absolutely doesn’t, Chim.”

“The whole office agrees-“

Eddie stops short, whirling around. “Just because the little simulation version of me you drew up on the computer had an eight-pack-“

“My computer does not lie, Diaz-“

“I don’t have time,” Eddie cuts in. “I can’t be away from Chris that long.”

“It’s one week. Less, if you do your job right.”

Eddie makes a face.

It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. A charity firefighter competition that he really thinks sounds a hell of a lot like a beauty pageant. Sure, there’s obstacle courses and stuff to complete but he’s not sure what a speedo competition has to do with being a competent firefighter. The cause is noble, he guesses, but there has to be a better way to raise money than deciding who’s the most specialist firefighter in all of Los Angeles.

Especially when the host – Captain Bobby Nash – is the target of a bomb threat.

It wouldn’t even have landed on their desk if not for the fact that three people with ties to Bobby Nash and the LAFD had received bombs in the mail over the last two weeks.

Athena thinks their best chance to take down the mail bomber is to have someone on the inside, to infiltrate the competition and investigate the contestants while also being the FBI’s eyes and ears throughout the week.

Hen and Chim, of course, volunteered Eddie for the job.

“I don’t like undercover work.” It’s an oversimplified version of the truth – that Eddie hates having to perform for an extended period of time and that this competition sounds like his own personal version of hell. Also, as much as he knows he’s in good shape, he doesn’t actually want people ogling his body for a week straight.

Chim gives him an incredibly unsympathetic clap on the shoulder. “Just use those big, brown eyes of yours and wow the judges with your salsa skills and no one will be any the wiser.”

Eddie opens his mouth to argue back when another voice cuts through their conversation.

“She said yes!”

He and Chimney both look up to find Hen running towards them, a beaming grin on her face. “Athena said yes! Better start practicing your poses, Firefighter Diaz.”

Well, shit.

-

Captain Bobby Nash has got a made-for-TV smile that has Eddie understanding why he got the hosting gig over every other fire captain in LA.

“Special Agent Grant,” he says, shaking Athena’s hand with a warmth to his expression that Eddie doesn’t expect.

Athena clearly doesn’t expect it either because she clears her throat as she pulls her hand back. “Captain Nash. This is Agent Diaz.”

Nash redirects his attention to Eddie, extending his hand once again. “Great to meet you. And please, call me Bobby.”

“You too,” Eddie says, flashing a polite smile and following Athena’s lead to take a seat in front of Bobby’s desk.

“So I take it there’s been some progress in the case?” Bobby asks, settling into his chair.

Athena purses her lips, exchanging a look with Eddie. “Not as much as we’d like. Given that we still don’t have a trace on the letter the bomber sent and the LAFD’s reluctance to cancel the competition, we’ve decided to send one of our agents in undercover.”

Bobby’s eyes immediately flick to Eddie and Eddie feels the ridiculous urge to straighten his posture. “I’m guessing that’s where you come in, Agent Diaz?”

“Not that we want to undermine the integrity of the competition but it will be imperative that Eddie makes it to the final,” Athena says. “It’s the best chance we have of catching the bomber if we can’t determine a suspect before then.”

Bobby leans back in his chair, regarding them both with an unreadable expression. Finally, he cracks a smile. “Well, he certainly looks the part.”

“He gets that a lot,” Athena snorts and Eddie ducks his head to hide the heat in his cheeks. It’s bad enough when it’s Hen and Chim ribbing him; he didn’t actually think Athena ever overheard them.

“Which firehouse is he representing though?” Bobby asks. “All of the contestants have already been chosen.”

Without missing a beat, Athena hands over a file that Eddie knows contains the fake details of his new identity. “Apparently the 133’s entry came down with an awful bout of food poisoning.”

Bobby accepts the manila folder with a faint smirk. “Well, that’s a shame.”

-

“Diaz. Diaz, do you read me? Over.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as he steps onto the bus ready to ship the contestants to the opening luncheon. “Yes, Chim,” he mutters under his breath. “I can hear you; stop yelling.”

“Remember to smile, Eddie.” That’s Hen.

How Athena thought they were the two best suited to oversee this, he’ll never understand.

He scans the length of the bus, looking for an empty seat. The whole place is overrun with burly men in too tight t-shirts talking animatedly to each other. It takes him a second to realise one of the men in question is waving at him.

He’s got curly hair and a golden retriever-esque eagerness to his smile. “Edmundo?” he asks. “From the 133, right?”

Eddie clears his throat and rearranges his face into a smile as he makes his way to the empty seat. Though calling it an empty seat feels generous when the firefighter all but shoves himself against the window to make room.

“How’d you know who I was?” he asks, genuinely curious. They only finalised the details of Eddie’s position in the competition yesterday and they made sure to leave any of his information off the official competition website.

“Oh I did a little deep dive on the other contestants but you were the only one who didn’t have a picture so I figured it had to be you.” He shrugs with an affable charm before offering Eddie a hand. “I’m Evan Buckley, with the 118. Everyone calls me Buck though.”

“He’s cute,” Hen says in his ear.

“Like a puppy,” Chim adds.

Eddie ignores them and shakes his hand. “Uh, you can call me Eddie,” he greets. Changing his last name was necessary; he refuses to go by Edmundo for the next week. It’s only then that he clocks the station number Buck said. “You’re part of Nash’s team.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, beaming with pride. “Bobby’s the best captain ever. You know some of these guys have it out for me because they think he’s gonna play favourites even though he’s not a judge. He’s just the host. But whatever, it’s not a big deal.”

The dejected look that creeps onto Buck’s face suggests it very much is a big deal even if he won’t admit it. Eddie feels a pang of sympathy. The guy seems harmless, even with all the rippling muscles. Then again, he’s not surprised a competition this testosterone-fuelled has people acting territorial.

“They just want an excuse for when you beat them in the first round,” Eddie says, mostly to fill the silence but also to get this Buck guy to stop looking so downtrodden.

He definitely doesn’t expect the way Buck’s whole face lights up in awe.

“You think I’ve got a shot at making it to the finals?”

The earnest hopefulness in Buck’s voice catches Eddie off guard and Hen and Chimney in his ear don’t help.

“Aww Eddie’s making friends!”

“Forget friends! Eddie, he’s cute; keep flirting with him.”

Eddie bites down on the urge to tell them to fuck off and makes himself smile at Buck instead. “’Course you do. Some of these guys are lucky they even made it this far.”

Truthfully, Eddie hasn’t even taken the time to look at anyone else on the bus all that much yet but the words tumble out of his mouth without permission. And in the face of Buck’s delighted grin, he can’t find it in himself to take them back.

“Thanks, man,” Buck says bashfully. “Hey, you have anyone to share a room with at the hotel yet?”

“Please tell me there’s only gonna be one bed,” Hen squawks gleefully in his ear.

“Uh I don’t know. Are they assigned or-?”

“They figured since most of us know each other we could pair up however we want but- um…” Buck trails off, making it clear no one has offered to share with him and well, it seems like he knows a lot about the other contestants. That could be good for Eddie. To get information and close the case. Obviously.

“Yeah, man. We can share.”

“Awesome!” Buck declares, slumping more comfortably in his seat and bumping his shoulder –probably accidentally – against Eddie’s. The bus gets moving then and Eddie takes the opportunity to scope out some of the other contestants.

It’s unlikely their suspect is another firefighter but not impossible.

“So how come I’ve never seen you at a scene before?”

Eddie blinks, redirecting his attention to Buck who’s looking at him curiously.

“Oh uh, I just transferred in the last couple of months.”

“From where?” Buck’s expression doesn’t look suspicious and Eddie has to remind himself not every conversation with a stranger needs to be an interrogation.

“Um, El Paso,” he says, immediately cringing on the inside. This man does not need to know any of his real life personal details.

But Buck only smiles again. “Cool. I’ll have to look out for you on calls from now on.”

And it’s not said flirtatiously or anything like that but Buck looks bashful again and Chimney is cackling his ear about how, “Eddie’s got a fan,” and Eddie’s stomach does a strange, traitorous flip.

But this is fine.

Everything is fine.

It’s just-

It’s going to be a long week.

-

[pearlfeline]

a peter parker halloween

peter parker x spider!fem!reader

word count: 1.6k

a/n: i quite like this actually lol this is the first thing i’ve written where i think i ended things quite organically however since i like it so much please let me know if you’d like a part two because i’m willing to try but also would like some ideas! thanks for reading! happy halloween!!

Like many, Peter enjoys Halloween. The problem is, Spider-Man does not. He liked it at first. All the cute kids dressing as him and how proud it made him. Nowadays, his costume is so mass produced that there’s people in the subway wearing his face with no pants on.

Patrolling on Halloween kind of felt like he was being mocked. Also wearing what he would consider his uniform on a day where he’s supposed to literally wear anything else wasn’t as exciting.

Peter’s schedule was always scattered but never to his disadvantage. He could afford to be spontaneous by getting slammed by a bus and make it to class in twenty minutes.

This Halloween night, he had gotten his classes out of the way, finished his extra-curriculars, and submitted all his homework right before it was time for his nightly sweep across New York.

Peter reached his front door, weakly shoving his key in spots that weren’t the keyhole.

You hear his keys jingle and rush to the door, unlocking it yourself.

“There he is!” You teased. “Happy Halloween! Who are you dressed as? Percy Jackson?”

Peter smiles tiredly. “Thanks for cleaning my room but you really didn’t have to.”

“Well it would've been mostly for May, considering she’s picked up after you for years.”

Peter sheepishly picks up his backpack that he tossed on the floor.

He notices you brought your Adventure Time blanket and draped it over the couch. There was fresh popcorn and you left your stuffed turtle posed to look like he was eating from the bowl.

“What’s this stuff?” Peter didn’t wait for a response but rather walked to his room to suit up for the night.

You waited for him to come back to the living room before giving him an answer.

“It’s a set up. For a lazy Halloween night in watching scary movies.”

“Lucky you.” He chuckled.

“No. Lucky you.” You corrected, grabbing his suit from over his shoulder.

“Since I know how you usually get worried on Halloween because people like to be irresponsible and sometimes just plain evil, I thought maybe I could give you the night off.” You tug on the collar on your shirt, exposing your suit underneath.

Peter gives you an incredulous look.

“Oh and the room cleaning thing wasn’t real I hope you know. White lie.” You added.

“..Yeah it’s still kinda messy in there.” Peter scratched the back of his neck.

“Understatement of the year.” You mumbled.

“Y/N.. I can’t just let you go do that alone if anything I’ll come with you.” Peter reaches for his mask in your hand.

You groaned.

“Stop being selfless just for tonight.” You pleaded with your eyes. “I can handle this! I’m just as cool and possibly cooler than you!”

“Fine.” Peter hangs his head and made his way to the couch.

“Hell yeah. Okay, I left a sandwich in the fridge that I picked up before I got here. Soooo have fun with that and enjoy your movie.” You pull off your shirt and pants and shoved them in your bag.

Peter gives an appreciative smile, watching you pull your mask over your face and leap out of his fire escape.

What you did was a very sweet thing. Peter was finally able to do something Halloweeny on Halloween. He picked out a few movies to watch in order, but two movies in he was hyper aware he was alone in a dark apartment. Excluding the stuffed turtle he was talking to.

“The CGI sucks.” He muttered, squishing the turtle close to his face, his eyes locked onto the screen.

What if he saw a scary figure in the dark? And if he got up to get the light would it move and attack him? Would he see something he doesn’t want to?

He peered over the couch to stare at the darkness in every corner of the dimly lit living room.

Peter cautiously paused the movie and quickly climbed onto the wall, scattering to the light switch before flicking it on.

He landed back on his feet and still felt upset.

Not only was being alone scary but even if it wasn’t it was just sad. He could’ve complained about the bad CGI to you instead of that little turtle.

You handled your patrol pretty well. Not much was happening except one little kid got separated from his group and didn’t want to walk back home alone. He gave you a piece of candy as a thank you.

As you sat on the edge of a building, you took a bite of your sandwich you packed for the night, watching the busy streets below.

Swoosh. A figure lands behind you and sets your stuffed turtle next to you.

“Timmy? Peter why are you here?” You were muffled by bread in your mouth.

Peter sat beside you and unwrapped his sandwich.

You tuck the turtle in your arms so he doesn’t fall off the ledge and give Peter a look.

“It’s… lonely back there. Plus, I got all the Halloween celebration I needed. I’m ready to get back at it now.”

You stare at Peter with a suspicious expression.

“You can just say the movie scared you.” You took another bite and swung your feet.

“C’mon can’t I just help you? I thought I was selfless?” He smirked proudly.

“You would never leave Timmy Turtle to fend for himself in a paranormal situation! You brought him because you’re scared of the monsters!” You pointed an accusing finger at him.

Peter lifts his mask up half way, taking a bite of his sandwich to avoid confrontation.

“It wasn’t a monster it was a spirit out for revenge.” He sighed.

“Mhm.” You rolled your eyes.

“Busy night?” He asked.

You shake your head. “Oh, but this kid gave me a KitKat.” You dig in your bag to find it.

“Dessert.” You tap it on your temple like you were being clever.

Eventually, you both finish your sandwiches and split the chocolate.

“Is this gonna be a lesson later about how I don’t need to patrol every Halloween night like this?”Peter crosses his legs and accepts his fate.

You shake your head. “No. I mean, you shouldn’t be overworking yourself like that. But, if no one was here tonight, that kid would be going home alone and probably super scared.”

“And that’s the best case scenario, you never know what’ll happen.” You added.

You jokingly punch Peter in the in the shoulder. “You’re a hero Peter. I just thought you needed some rest.”

“Thanks Y/N.” He chomps on his half of the KitKat and leans back, the palms of his hands supporting his weight.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“I should let you go out more often. It’s not that I don’t trust you I just…” Peter trailed off.

“I don’t want you to get hurt is all.” Peter turns to you.

You shrug. “That’s part of the job. But yeah I understand.”

“Though, I’m not opposed to helping you out more. The kid that I helped today called me spider sidekick.”

Peter snorts. “He’s not far off.” Peter pretends to stretch and flexes his muscles very unsubtly.

“Uh, I prefer apprentice and hopefully later on, partner.” You regret your choice of words as soon as ‘partner’ came out of your mouth.

Peter’s grin twitches a little, giving a small opened mouth smile that screamed “No, it’s okay I know what you meant. Don’t be embarrassed. Let’s pretend that never happened!”

Instead, he gives a small laugh.

“You’re already a great partner.”

You give Peter a short glance. That damn mask. What does that mean? Those dumb bug eyes were unreadable. The only thing you could see was his smile.

“A-Am I getting promoted?” You joked.

Peter takes his mask off. There they are. His eyes.

Were you crazy or was he being really forward all of the sudden?

“Truthfully Y/N, you’ve proven yourself a long time ago. You’re just as selfless as you think I am. I just needed to make sure… Even if that meant stalling the inevitable.” Peter takes a dig at himself.

“You’re pretty much faster than me at this rate, but stronger? Eh, I dunno.” He teases.

“I’m sorry I was being stubborn. You’ve been a partner for a long time. Training is officially over since tonight.”

Your heart sinks a little. Of course. He was just talking about work. Peter never flirts with you, he’s never done that before. Plus, this is a serious thing it’s never about flirting.

“Thanks Peter. You’re a real good mentor.”

Peter raises an eyebrow. “Man, I thought you’d be more excited.”

“No! No. I am excited it’s just.. It’s nice to hear you care about my safety and all that. Nice that you trust me with sharing this… duty.” You clear your throat.

Peter nods, satisfied.

“It’s hard.” He repositions to sit crisscrossed.

“But I know you can do it. And… sorry for making you go out here when it’s nothing happened. I swear I trust you to do the crazy dangerous things too.”

You nodded. “I know. But you didn’t make me do anything. This was just a favor I wanted to do for you.”

“Happy Halloween.” You smiled.

“Happy Halloween Y/N.” Peter returns the smile. He knew this whole thing was a lot for you to adjust to. The silence he created was nice. Not awkward like it used to be. He watched as you curiously peer over the busy street in fascination. He thinks to himself that every night is going to be like this for you from now on. Like it was for him. Maybe the company would do him some good.

[katsu28]

hiii request for jamie tartt here🫡 i loved ur recent fic sm!!! could you maybe do the acacia flower or sunflower prompt? in my head i see hiding their relationship bc reader is a teammates sibling, but oopsie someone got heart eyes and started rambling haha

or literally anything else is fine too if this doesn’t strike your fancy lol<3 tysm!!!

hello!! i loved this so much, u are a gem for requesting it <3

acacia: a hidden relationship + sunflower: drunken rambling about their adoration, jamie tartt x kent!reader (no physical descriptors so imagine whatever sibling type u want!), 2k

“Are you sure we can’t tell him about us?” Jamie’s voice from where he was fixing his hair in the mirror pulled you away from your book and you glanced over at him. 

This was a question he posed to you all the time, and every single time, your answer was the same—though getting more creative with the details with every occurance. 

“Do you want my brother to gouge your eyeballs out? Cut off your dick? Possibly murder you?” 

Jamie paled, freezing in place. “Not particularly.” 

“Then no, we can’t tell Roy we’re seeing each other.” You picked up your book again, ready to resume your reading, but Jamie let out a noise resembling that of a kicked puppy’s whine. His shoulders slumped and he trudged over to you, throwing himself down on the bed in front of your crossed legs. 

Setting your book aside for good this time, you watched him make himself comfortable with his head in your lap, cheek pressed against your thigh as he looked up at you with the puppy dog eyes to match his previous whine. 

“I hate all the secrets. I have to lie to him, straight to his scary face, every fuckin’ day. D’you know how stressful that is? How stressed I am?” He huffed. You bumped your knuckles against his chin affectionately.

It wasn’t fair, Jamie having to face Roy and lie everyday when you had to do it a tad less often, but it was a necessary evil. One day, you’d tell your brother, but first you had to figure out how. 

This, among other reasons, were the downsides to being in a secret relationship with Jamie. There were tons of upsides too, no doubt about it. 

You had the privilege of seeing a softer, sweeter side of him that was reserved only for you, but you couldn’t go out in public with him. Nights in were your favorite dates, but sometimes you wanted to go to a fancy restaurant and eat expensive food and share a dessert with your boyfriend without needing to worry about the tabloids having a field day of it all. 

You could already see the headlines if the press ever caught wind of your relationship—AFC Ricmond Star Jamie Tartt Bags Manager Roy Kent’s Sister. They’d stir shit up, claim that Jamie was only with you because your brother was in a position of power over him and who knows what else. 

Most of all, you certainly couldn’t let Roy find out you were seeing one of his players, especially not Jamie fucking Tartt. They were friends now, but he’d always been overly protective of his sisters ever since you were all kids. He’d throw a fit and probably kill Jamie, then you. Well, he probably wouldn’t go that far, but you’d definitely be on his bad side until he got over himself. And you loved your brother to death, but he was a dickhead sometimes. 

“I’m gonna get early wrinkles, love. You don’t want me to have those, do ya?” 

“I think you’d look adorable with wrinkles. Like a cute little old man.” You dotted a kiss to his forehead, attempting to smooth out the crinkle between his eyebrows with your thumb. 

“That’s not funny.” 

“It’s a bit funny.” 

“Right, since you obviously don’t appreciate my problems, I’m off.” Jamie heaved himself off the bed, forcing out a rather overexaggerated sigh. You smiled innocently at him and he rolled his eyes, his own soft smile still on his face. He leaned down to press a kiss to your lips before heading for the door. “Dunno when I’ll be back but don’t wait up for me, yeah?” 

“Have fun, my love. I’ll just be here, thinking about you with wrinkles.” 

“Still not funny!” 

The Greyhounds were out in full swing tonight. Colin had somehow managed to book an entire pub for a whole night so they could drink and have a good time without being swarmed by the press vying for any morsel of gossip about one of the best up and coming Premier League clubs. Good friends, good food, even better beer—what more could anyone ask for? 

Jamie had been taking full advantage of it. That, paired with the fact that he no longer had to follow that god awful diet that deprived him of his beloved ice cold beverage, had led him to where he was right now, leaning heavily against the bar, drunk off his ass due to some sort of drinking game Jan Maas had insisted on teaching him. 

See, tipsy Jamie was fun. Very generous, would offer to buy a round or two, good for a few funny stories the next day. Absolutely pissed Jamie was a textbook oversharer. He didn’t make much sense, so everyone just mumbled a ‘very cool, mate!’ or something of the sort, made sure he didn’t topple over—those kinds of things. 

Roy was nursing his own beer next to Jamie tonight, half-listening in contained amusement as the Mancunian babbled on and on about someone. Who the fuck it was, Roy had no idea, but it was good entertainment and had soon garnered the attention of the rest of the team. Maybe this could be another one of those funny stories they could joke about in the locker room tomorrow. 

“She don’t look anythin’ like you, thank god. Imagine—imagine that! A lady Roy. Shit’s mad!” Jamie mused, amber beer spilling over the lip of the pint. “Nah, she’s the prettiest and the funniest and the coolest person ever and I love her.” 

“Who the fuck are you talkin ‘bout, bruv?” Isaac asked incredulously, looking just as amused as everyone else.

“Mate, I’m talkin’ ‘bout me girlfriend,” Jamie said very as-a-matter-of-factly, like they should’ve known that. “Duh.” 

“You’ve got a girlfriend? Since fucking when?” 

Jamie counted off on his fingers, scrunching his nose in thought. “Erm…four, five months? Maybe six?” He shook his head quickly, correcting himself. “No, not six. Would’ve done something special for six, wouldn’t I?” 

“First I’m hearing of it. How ‘bout you boys, did you know Jamie had a girlfriend?” Isaac asked, looking around. A chorus of ‘no’s and similar answers sounded amongst the others. Jamie’s brow furrowed. “It’s settled then. Who’s got the heart of the great Jamie Tartt?” 

“Good rhyme, boyo!” Colin chimed in, clapping his best friend on the back. 

Isaac looked proud of himself. “Whoa. I’m a fucking poet and I didn’t even know it.” He accepted another few praises before turning his attention back to Jamie, who looked like he was thinking really long and hard about something. “Okay, back to you. Tell us about her.” 

“I don’t even know where t’start, man,” Jamie sighed happily, resting his chin in his palm. “She’s kind and warm and—and she knows me better than anyone. It’s like…it’s like she’s an angel.” 

It was kind of weird, hearing Jamie be so open about his feelings for another person. He’d always been one to play things close to the vest, so that’s how they knew things with this secret girlfriend had to be serious. 

Sam beamed, happy as ever that his friend had found someone special. “Surely the angel from above has a name? Maybe one of us knows her?”

“Y/N.” 

The room fell silent. Everyone turned to look at Roy, who looked like he was about to start punching dicks. 

“Y/N, like…Roy’s sister, that Y/N?” Sam replied hesitantly, drawing pointed looks from every single one of his teammates. “I’m just confirming! There are other people named Y/N in London, you know.” 

Jamie pointed in his teammate’s general direction, nodding aimlessly. “Yep, her. That’s my girl.” 

Roy stood from his seat without a word, grabbing Jamie under the arm and dragging him towards the door. 

“Hey man, what the fuck are you—” 

“Just fucking shut up, will you?” 

“Okay.” 

You were about to call it quits on finishing your book and turn in for the night when the doorbell rang. When you went to open it, you definitely weren’t expecting to see your brother standing on your doorstep, practically carrying your half asleep boyfriend and looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. 

“Your prick boyfriend got proper pissed. Where do I put him?” 

So Roy knew. And judging by the way Jamie was swaying on his feet, you guessed that he’d been the one to let the cat out of the bag. 

“Erm, couch is fine. I’ll get him settled later.” You opened the door a little wider to let them in and Roy grunted his acknowledgement, hauling Jamie over to the couch and promptly dumping him onto the cushions.

Jamie didn’t even flinch when his face hit the pillows, instead just letting out a dreamy sort of sigh and smacking his lips together without even opening his eyes. You were the one to roll him over onto his side, nudging the dustbin right near his head before covering him with a blanket. 

“How much did he drink?” You asked, smoothing the walnut mist strands away from his eyes. 

“Too fucking much, that’s how much.” Roy grumbled. He wandered over towards a different area of your flat, not wanting to wake Jamie. “Jan Maas taught him a Dutch drinking game, except that fucker can actually hold his alcohol.” 

You cast a fond glance back at your boyfriend, smiling softly at his peaceful face. “Yeah, this one can’t really drink much anymore. Said it’s because of your training regimen, the no beer thing.” 

“Of fucking course you’d know.” 

“I assume Jamie told you about us.” You said quietly, picking at a loose thread on the sleeve of your jumper instead of looking at Roy. Another vague low noise of acknowledgement from him, though it sounded a bit more strained this time. “If it helps you come to terms, Jamie’s been wanting to tell you for ages. I was the one who wanted to keep it under wraps.” 

“Why?” 

You let out a humorless chuckle, shaking your head. “‘Cause I knew what you’d think. Knew what you’d have to say about it.” 

“Are you a mindreader?” 

“No.” 

“Then how would you know what I’d think?” 

“Oh come on, Roy, you don’t think I know how you are? You get…dickish. I still remember you scaring off poor Billy Montgomery in year nine!” 

“Billy Montgomery was a fucking wanker, that’s why.” 

“Yeah, I know that now,” You huffed, scowling. Roy raised an expectant brow at you. “You’ve always been outspoken about the people I date. I just—I didn’t want you to be that way with Jamie. I know you’ve had your differences, and I know you’ve made up, but…I dunno, I was just worried about what you’d think of us.” 

“Do you love him?” Roy asked stiffly. There was a tic going in the hard line of his jaw when he forced his gaze to yours, and it almost looked like he was in the middle of shitting a brick. If you hadn’t been so nervous about his reaction, you probably would’ve laughed. 

“I do. A lot, actually. He’s…everything I could’ve asked for. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.” 

“Then it shouldn’t fucking matter what I think.” Roy said. “Jamie makes you happy, and that is the only thing that matters.” 

To say you were taken aback was an understatement. You’d been so worried about how you thought your brother was going to react to the news, you never stopped to consider that maybe Jamie wasn’t the only person who’d been working to change for the better. 

“Thank you, Roy.” 

Caught up in your heartfelt sibling talk, neither of you had noticed Jamie had woken up and stumbled over to the two of you until he gathered the two of you into a rather squished hug.

“My two favorite people, the Kent siblings! You guys are the best!” He slurred, nuzzling into the embrace. Roy let out a growl, but he patted Jamie’s back stiffly nonetheless. You had to stifle another laugh at how utterly uncomfortable he looked right now. “Oh fuck, I think I’m gonna throw up—” 

“That’s it, I’m fucking leaving.” Roy shoved Jamie away from him, wiping his hands off on the front of his jacket and heading for the front door. “Make sure he doesn’t choke on his own vomit and tell him he’s still got training tomorrow, I don’t care how shitty he feels!”

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[theerurishipper]

Superbat Week Day 4: Undercover

For @superbatweek2024

Just as Clark flies into the Batcave, he can hear the telltale signs of Alfred’s disapproval, directed at the only person foolish enough to invoke them constantly. The subtle inflections in Alfred’s voice, and the dry, sardonic tone indicates to Clark that Bruce has done something reckless, though not exceptionally so. Alfred would not have held back otherwise.

“What did you need me for, Bruce?”

The man in question lifts one eyebrow upon his arrival. “You’re late.”

“Nice to see you too.”

Bruce grunts, and turns to Alfred, who picks up a fancy suit, handing it to Clark with not a small amount of disapproval, though it is not directed at him. Clark can only stare bemusedly at the fancy suit that probably costs more than his entire salary. “If this is your way of telling me— again— that you don’t like the suits I own, I’m sorry to tell you that this is not going to change my mind.”

“Ah, I suppose it was worth a shot, sir,” remarks Alfred, the very picture of sarcasm.

“It’s not a commentary on your fashion choices,” Bruce responds, still typing away at his computer. “It’s a bodyguard uniform.”

Clark stares at the sleek, shiny fabric. “And you’re giving this to me because…?”

“You’re now Bruce Wayne’s official new bodyguard. Congratulations.”

--

“I can’t believe you just sprung this on me without asking me if I would agree!” Clark huffs, even as Alfred makes final adjustments to the suit he’s now wearing.

“Are you saying no?”

“…No…”

“Then I don’t see a problem. Besides, I checked your schedule, and you seem to be free enough to assist me.”

Clark blinks. “You what?” Beside him, Alfred sighs as he adjusts Clark’s sleeves.

“I see that our previous talks about boundaries have entered through one ear and escaped through the other already, Master Bruce.”

“I don’t remember any such talk.”

“As I said,” Alfred intones, waving a dismissive hand towards Bruce, who responds with a childish pout. Or as he would call it, a dignified silence.

“Aw, it’s alright, Alfred,” Clark consoles. “I don’t mind. It’s kind of sweet, actually.”

Alfred directs his eyes to stare down Clark judgementally. “You both certainly are made for each other.”

“Thank you.”

The details of the case are simple enough. Bruce Wayne is being targeted by a fellow competitor, a man by the name of Maxwell Steele, who wants him gone. Batman is currently looking into this competitor to find out why. Bruce is to be meeting with this competitor in an hour, and wants Clark to tag along as a lie detector posing as his bodyguard.

Clark can’t say he’s displeased with the idea, or the thought of helping Bruce out in this way. It’s even kind of exciting. He’s only ever seen this happen in movies.

“You’re a superhero, Clark. You can fly and shoot lasers from your eyes.”

“But I always preferred the secret agents over the bombastic superheroes,” Clark responds, grinning at his reflection in the mirror. “And now I get to be one for real! It’s cool.”

“If that is what ‘floats your boat,’ Master Clark.”

Clark grins, and slips on the shades the Bruce hands him. “So, do I look the part?” he asks, and listens with great satisfaction to the uptick in Bruce’s heart rate.

“…Yes, you do.”

Clark grins. This just might be fun after all.

--

Maxwell Steele is a man who is very much not upending the stereotypes this evening. He is as suspicious looking and sleazy as one would expect when they think of an evil businessman. Clark feels like he is way more excited than he should be; after all, he is standing right before someone who is trying his hardest to kill Bruce.

The man in question is rambling about his latest business ventures, while Bruce sits before him pretending to be someone who is only pretending to be interested. Clark finds it almost baffling how well Bruce can embody the spirit of the character he puts on.

“And, of course, we intend to finalize our dealings, of course—”

“I just have one question,” Bruce interrupts, leaning forward. “Your company has come under fire— several times, in fact— for your alleged involvement with some of the more… notorious criminals of Gotham. I must admit, I find the idea of doing business with someone involved in those kind of affairs rather frightening. Wouldn’t you think so too?”

Steele gives his sincerest effort to put on an expression of affront. As is, he just looks nervous and guilty. “Mr. Wayne,” he sputters, “I must tell you that everything you have ever heard regarding that is unsubstantiated!”

Lie.

“I would never support criminals in such a manner—”

Lie.

Steele leans back in his chair, and takes a deep breath.

“— and I have always tried to use my wealth to deal with them.”

Truth.

Clark frowns. That can’t be right.

“Honestly, Mr. Wayne, I take offense to your assumptions about me! Why, certainly you must have experience with having the vultures assume the worst of you. The most uncharitable tabloids are always looking for something to invent to disparage the characters of good men, and—”

“Yes, yes, I understand, Mr. Steele,” Bruce interrupts. “Thank you for meeting with me. We will get back to you with further details.”

Once the man leaves, and Bruce returns to his office, Clark closes the door behind them with a grin. “Who’s gonna tell him that being accused of sleeping around and being accused of colluding with criminal masterminds aren’t exactly in the same ballpark?”

Bruce grunts. “If he doesn’t know that by now, then no one’s ever going to be able to change his mind.” He levels Clark with a look. “What did you learn?”

“Well, he’s definitely lying about almost everything. But he did seem to be telling the truth when he mentioned that he was dealing with the villains, even though I don’t quite buy what he said.”

Bruce taps his finger on his chin, deep in thought. “Dealing with the villains… perhaps his phrasing is where we need to look. He’s making some sort of deal with one of them.”

“To kill you?”

“Possibly.” He looks back at Clark, eyes steely and focused. “I will pay him a secret visit tonight, and see what I can find regarding any unsavoury dealings. Maybe then—”

As it turns out, Bruce doesn’t even need to go looking for the trouble. The trouble just comes to find him. Clark throws himself over Bruce, rolling him across the shiny floor of his office as fire shoots in through the now shattered windows. Clark lands over Bruce’s body, and they watch as Firefly comes barrelling in through the window, spraying pieces of glass everywhere. Clark surreptitiously blows away some of the stray pieces before they can hurt Bruce.

“I gotta thank you, Wayne,” Firefly goads. “I just got a massive payday for trying to get rid of you. It’s almost too easy to make money these days, huh? Where’s the challenge?”

Clark rises to his feet. If he finds a way to get Bruce out of here, Batman can come and clean up this mess. But it wouldn’t do to break his cover, either…

“Get back, Mr. Wayne,” Clark growls, putting on a deep, intimidating voice. Behind him, Bruce does an excellent impression of a cowering puppy. Clark reaches out a hand as though shielding him. “I’ll protect you.”

Firefly bursts into laughter. “That’s rich. You think you can take me on? With what, your dopey sunglasses?”

You’d be surprised, Clark almost says. But he doesn’t. Because he’s a bodyguard, and they aren’t really supposed to quip around. That’s what the movies say.

Instead, Clark jumps for Bruce as Firefly unleashes another spray of fire. He shoves himself over Bruce, and then pushes him towards the window. “You’re toast, you asshole!” rages Firefly, flying towards him, flamethrowers at the ready.

In the three seconds it takes for Firefly to reach him, Clark takes the time to observe the crowd gathering outside the building, watching with bated breath. He watches Bruce’s expression twist into one of utter exasperation, the look of fear falling off his face once he is sure that Firefly is focused on Clark completely. And he watches the wires connected to the tank on Firefly’s back sway with the force of his flight.

As Firefly shoots towards him, Clark grabs onto the wire, pulling Firefly with it before the man can use his flamethrowers. Using the one on the left, Clark deftly spins the man around and around, wrapping him up in his own weapon. And then he knocks him out with a solid right hook.

Clark secures Firefly to Bruce’s fancy desk, which is bolted into the ground, making it a convenient restraint. With Firefly taken care of, Clark turns back to Bruce.

Only to find him teetering on the edge of his own building, hanging on to the edge of his destroyed wall. People are screaming, outside, and Clark just gives Bruce a judgemental look, knowing that no one can see him. “Don’t you dare.”

Bruce, for his part, just gives him an expression of utmost satisfaction. “Whoops,” he says, completely deadpan, before he lets his fingers go lax, starting his descent towards the pavement below.

Clark doesn’t even think twice. Grabbing Firefly’s flamethrower— the one connected to the wire on his right— he jumps after Bruce, and grabs him by the waist. Bruce, steady heartbeat belying that he is quite unconcerned despite the expression of fake terror on his face, turns to face him as they hang midair, and wraps his arms around his neck.

“My hero!” he simpers, loud enough for people to hear, and then he kisses him. And despite the sheer audacity of the man, Clark lets him, because he really does feel like he deserves it today.

--

“Hey, listen to this,” Clark says, laughing. “Bruce Wayne seduces new bodyguard after near death experience. Bruce, you’re famous again!”

“Very funny,” Bruce grumbles. “Of course they’d report on that instead of on Maxwell Steele’s arrest.”

“I guess being arrested for colluding with Firefly isn’t juicy enough for the Gotham Gazette.”

“Hm.”

Clark lets Bruce type at his computer a while longer, happy to just sit there and soak up the feeling of satisfaction of a job well done.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” Bruce finally says, cutting through the silence. “How did you manage to speak in such a… different voice?”

Clark grins. “Extremely precise muscle control.” He lets his voice drop lower into the deep, silky baritone he’d adopted for his role. “Do you like it, Mr. Wayne?”

Bruce turns to face him, and Clark grins. He speeds off, and returns dressed in the suit, just in time for Bruce to give him a once-over. “I suppose I do,” Bruce replies.

“Which does remind me,” Clark vocalizes, slipping the shades onto his face. “We haven’t yet discussed the terms of my payment.”

“How much would you like?”

Clark stands, and stalks over to Bruce, keeping a serious, emotionless expression on his face. He rests his hands on the armrests of Bruce’s chair, and leans into Bruce’s space until their lips are only a few inches apart. “I believe,” he rumbles, “that we can come to some other arrangement.”

Bruce licks his lips, otherwise expressionless. But his hands come up to run all over Clark’s chest, over the muscles of his arm, around his neck. They come up to his face to trace around his eyes, or rather, around the shades covering them.

“So do I.”

Clark just grins, and kisses him. Being disguised as a bodyguard really did have its perks, even if it was only for a day. He got to have the whole movie experience, down to getting with a hot love interest in the end. It doesn’t get much better than that.

---

Read on AO3

[torturedblue]

There are so many fun Disaster Twins parallels I caught the last time I binged Rise

I’m mainly going to start with lines before I get into some deeper stuff in part two, but as far as I’ve seen this pair seems to have the most parallels and I love it

Both the sillies have a line about sounding naturally sarcastic: “And I know everything I say sounds sarcastic, but I’m being completely genuine… This time.”

“Oh sure, let me just load my Tap Into Every Security Camera in New York app! I’m sorry if that sounded like sarcasm it wasn’t I am in.”

They both land on Warren in his first episode 😂

These sillies in Bug Busters:

Also LOOK at these guys in their matching cutesy pajamas

Donnie teasing his brothers and hitting them with the tennis balls all smug in Smart Lair feels very Leo of him

Leo being the naysayer of the group in The Gumbus and constantly insisting there has to be some kind of logical/scientific explanation is very Donnie of him

“There has to be a simple answer. Earthquake, magnets, giant prankster mice. There’s no such thing as ghosts!” “A model train. Simple answer.” “Aha! Right? The simple answer!”

Donnie has a funny line about Dragons (and their teeth) not existing, both these moments being ironic since discovering yokai, the Hidden City and the whole mystics world makes dragons and ghosts not just possible, but proven real

Their iconic weird showing-off-clothes poses in Purple Jacket and Late Fee

These lines:

“Can’t we get new brothers?!”

“We have to go back for our brothers! Or are you gonna replace them, too?!”

“Guh-ee…”

They are also the only two characters with lines mentioning they think Splinter would’ve been cooler specifically as a tiger 😂 While I love the Eric Bauza/Tigerclaw references to ‘12, otherwise the comments are rather random other than saying tigers are cooler than rats. It made me realize how much they really do think alike. “You’re just a rat, we need a tiger.” “Yeah sure you’re a rat and it probably would’ve been cooler if you were like a tiger or something.”

More similar lines when they both break the fourth wall: “One season later and I still have full battery!” “If this isn’t the poster shot, someone’s getting fired.”

Leo’s chosen last words: “With my last breath I told you sooooo!”

Donnie’s chosen last words: “At least I shall perish knowing I was the better brother.” (a lie)

I believe they’re also the only ones to call Splinter Papa whereas Raph and Mikey use ‘Pops’ more

And last but not least, their shared aversion to Staten Island

Bottom line, the rottmnt writers practically made their twinship canon without realizing it sooo it’s pretty much undeniable now 😊

[implalazz]

Waaaaaaaaa I’m back with more yokai fusions & also a comically small Buchikoma

L-R: Blazitina, RoboGrapenyan, Damonono, Buchikoma, Komajisan, Pandatina

Again more design thoughts under tha cut ✌️

My fingers always feel sore after typing this much….. Lots of learning about the details of traditional clothes this time. I chose these pairings cuz I felt lazy & wanted to draw the simpler ones first lol

Blazitina: Lion girl 👍 First thing I can think of in my thought process was making the belt an obi sash. Tattered at the ends to batch Blazion’s & with an obijime for fun. I didn’t super feel like giving her the same kind of Miku-esque kimono sleeves that I gave Lord Lie-In so I just made them weird kinda arm warmers. Did the same for her pants too, I’m not sure what they’re called but they’re inspired by the leg warmer kinda things in PLA on the fancy kimono. Also gave her a juban cuz idk I made her gi dip too far under her arms & yknow she’s a little lady she’s gotta stay covered up. I know all of this traditional kimono gear isn’t conductive to good karate but whatever…… She doesn’t get boots cuz I like drawing paws & her ahoge mimic Blazion’s scar (I didn’t have enough room to fit it in). I was thinking of giving her an x shaped hair clip but I thought it’d be too busy on her head. Overall despite some things I’d change (the way I shaped the obi I know realize the shape is TOO stylistic) I think this is my favourite design of the bunch

RoboGrapenyan: Very much inspired by the pkmn Violet paradox mons* (*See the bells & eyes.) Not much to say it’s a pretty straightforward fusion. The tail onibi are lightbulbs because it feels more robotic & I thought it’d be cool. The jet exhaust is grape soda……. That was a choice. LOOK I’LL EXPLAIN, uh….. grape….. grape exhaust? Grape vapor? Grape soda????? Sure. Also I think in the back of my mind I was thinking of that soda gun from that one episode of SpongeBob. Naughty Nautical Neighbors. I had to google it I had to know what episode it was….. yeah.

Damonono: YAAAAYYYYY FIRST TIME DRAWING HAKAMA THEY’RE WEIRD BUT I’LL GET BETTER AT IT!! They’re supposed to be split leg hakama but in every reference I looked up they’re so wide that they just look like the skirt kind rather than having two leg holes. I gave them hakama cuz bootleg jeans would be weird with a kimono. And I like hakama. That’s it. The sleeves….. Let’s talk about those. I didn’t wanna give them the heart guns/cannons cuz idk…. I liked the way Damona’s hands were posed & I wanted to keep that. So instead they have weird fucked up heart shaped kimono sleeves. I wanted to keep Damona’s long obi too but I thought it might mess with the silhouette already having the sleeves & also that’s just not a thing you do with hakama. So….. her sleeves are kind of like the end of her obi…….. I’m only now realizing she could’ve had them tied up normally & they could still hang that low….. whatever. In my mind they go under the obi, get tied up so they can put on the hakama, & then untie them & let them hang over the hakama. Look I don’t think of fashion in terms of is this normal? Is this practical? If it looks good I do it. Not much else to say. I had to look up a tutorial on how to put on hakama cuz I wanted them to be as accurate as possible……. And now I know how to put them on so that’s cool I guess. I LOVE LEARNING!!!!!!!!

Buchikoma: Again pretty simple. I gave him a little tuft of hair to emulate Buchinyan’s wispy hair tuft. I forgot to draw the spot of the side of the right thigh, lol. His eye spot is shaped like an onibi cuz it’s cute 👍. His haramaki has the patterning of Jibakoma’s tummy spot cuz I can’t not give him the haramaki that’d be a crime. His ears are farther apart & smaller like Jibakoma’s, & his tail onibi are shaped like that cuz idk I tried to imagine what Jibakoma’s tail looked like & I thought of that. Overall another one of my favourite yokai fusions I’ve done. That’s my son

Komajisan: SPLIT EARS!!!!! Inspired by a fandom design of a certain character from a certain comic I won’t name….. IYKYK. Split ears cuz 2. Also extra swirly bits on the swirls cuz 2. I was thinking of adding blue spots to his bindle but I didn’t like how it looked so I didn’t do it. Fun paw spots cuz it’s cute. Forehead onibi are kinda angry lookin cuz idk….. I just felt it. Also mini onibi in between the forehead ones cuz 2. Some makeup accenting cuz……. IT’S CUTE!!!!!!!! I was also thinking of making the onibi half brown & half blue but it looked bad so yeah, I didn’t do it.

Pandatina: Probably my favourite in terms of lineart. I actually got noticeably better at drawing kimono particularly the sleeves. I’m proud :]. I honestly didn’t feel like giving her a haori/cape/whatever so I didn’t (also I just forgot to lol.) So she has a good sewn into the collar of her kimono. Clover shaped obijime like Slimatina cuz it looks cool & I like it, also I needed more clover shapes lol. She’s got one in her hair because of that too, I was thinking of making it blue but I thought nahh. She’s intentionally very pale cuz I wanted her skin tone to really match the snake part of her body. And she has eyeshadow on to emulate the spots around Pandanoko’s eyes, same with her pupils. Again just a simple fusion

[cozage]

The Daughter's Return Part 3

Chapter 7: Redirection

Start From Beginning | Next Chapter | Table of Contents | Read on AO3

Characters: female reader x Portgas D. Ace Word Count: 3.1k

“That was so cool!” Luffy cheered as you jumped back onto the ship. “You have devil fruit powers too?!?”

You gave a boastful smile and nod, but that trick had really drained you. Your body felt fried, and you could feel another wave of nausea coming on. You knew you had pushed your limit and you were coming up on the 15 minute mark. 

“My bracelet,” you said. “Has anyone seen it? It should be over by the mast.”

You walked over, scanning the deck for a glint of green.

“We can always get you another one!” Sanji swooned, his pupils practically turning into hearts. “We have plenty of bracelets you can choose from!”

“Like hell she can!” Nami yelled, smacking him on the head. “Those are our treasures! You can’t just give them away!”

“No,” you said, getting on your knees and searching among the ropes. “I need this one.”

“Is it this one?” Luffy asked, holding up a leather bracelet with a sea green stone and examining it closely. “It’s not very pretty. Ace, you’re a bad gift-giver.”

He put it around his wrist and froze, his eyes moving around cautiously. “It makes me feel weird.”

“Weird how?” Zoro asked, walking over to him and looking at the bracelet. 

“Luffy,” you said, your stomach churning with anxiety. “Give it back.”

“But it’s not even cool!” He said. “And it makes you feel really strange and droopy!”

“I want to try!” Chopper yelled, holding his hoof up to touch it.

Your panicked gaze turned to Ace, unsure of what to do. You didn’t want to be rude, but your body was starting to get uncomfortably hot. 

“Oi, Luffy!” Ace called, the normal gentle tone removed from his voice. “Fun is over. Give it back.”

Luffy pouted, but he handed you back the bracelet, and you quickly slipped it onto your wrist and fastened it tightly. The heat vanished instantly, but your stomach still flipped in rebellion.

“What kind of stone is it anyway?” Nami asked, peering closely at your wrist. 

“Sea Prism.”

All of the crew exchanged nervous glances and took a step back. 

“Why would you use Sea Prism if you have a devil fruit ability?” Zoro asked, eyeing you. 

You couldn’t blame them for the skepticism. If you had encountered the concept a few weeks ago, you would be cautious too. 

You glanced at Ace, trying to find the right words. Normally you could think on your feet, but the nausea was making your head foggy.

“Her ability makes her sick,” Ace said. It wasn’t exactly a lie. That was the reality of it at the moment. 

“Are you not feeling well?!” Sanji cooed, his ocean blue eyes examining your face closely. “Can I make you something? Perhaps tea or a light snack? Do you have any allergies?”

“Tea would actually be great,” you admitted. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

“It’s never any trouble at all!” He shouted, racing off to the kitchen. 

Everyone else grabbed a tankard full of ale and sat around the deck to celebrate and pass the time. You needed a quieter place, so you walked into the kitchen to see how the tea was coming along. 

When you walked in, Sanji was preparing a platter of fresh fruit and some kind of cold custard. 

“Oh!” He seemed alarmed at your entry. “I didn’t mean to make you wait! It’ll be ready in just a minute!”

“I’d actually prefer to be out of the sun for a moment, if that’s okay.” The harsh sunlight was starting to make you even more queasy. It was always something making you feel ill these days. 

“Of course, my love! Please, take a seat!”

Your eyebrows knitted together in irritation, but you didn’t say anything about his words. He seemed to be a hopeless flirt, but he didn't pose a threat. 

“I can make iced tea, since it’s so hot out.”

“Oh no,” you rushed to say. “I don’t want you to do that. Whatever you made is perfectly fine.”

“It’s only another step or two,” Sanji said. “I don’t mind, I swear.”

You really didn’t want to inconvenience him, but ice tea sounded heavenly at the moment. 

Sanji seemed to notice your hesitation, and a smile danced across his lips. “I’ll make both, and you can decide.”

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He worked silently for a few minutes while you sat at the table, fiddling with your sea prism bracelet. You found comfort in the kitchen. You guessed Thatch was to blame for that. 

“So Sanji, are you also from the East Blue like Luffy?” you asked, looking up at him. 

Sanji’s smile fell for a quick moment, and you could tell he was trying to pick his wording carefully. He was hiding something, but you could tell by his body language he would never speak of it. It reminded you of Ace whenever someone mentioned birth parents. 

“I used to work as a chef on the Baratie in the East Blue, but Luffy convinced me to join his crew and search for the All Blue.” His smile returned just as quickly as it had left. 

“The All Blue?” You had heard that story a hundred times, mostly from Thatch. He had always told magical stories about it to you when you were a kid, but Sanji seemed to talk as if it were real.

“It’s an ocean where-”

“I know what it is,” you said. “You’re trying to find it?”

He nodded enthusiastically. “It’s out there. I know it is.”

You nodded, giving him an empathetic smile. You had sailed the seas your entire life and never found a place remotely close to what he was describing, but you didn’t want to crush his dreams. “I hope you find it, then.”

“How long have you been on the Grand Line?” Sanji asked. He poured the iced tea into a glass and passed it to you “It’s chamomile, peppermint, and ginger. Let me know if there’s anything not to your liking.”

“Thanks.” You took a long drink and could feel the cool liquid travel through your body. It was a perfect blend of herbs and sweetness. Sanji really did take pride in everything he prepared and it showed. 

“I’ve been on the Grand Line since I was born,” you admitted. “I’ve been traveling the seas since I was young. I’m not really sure when. All of my memories have been on the sea.”

“Amazing! Are you a part of a pirate family?”

You bit your lip, not sure how to proceed. You were always hesitant to tell people your heritage. It rarely went the way you wanted. 

“My dad is a pirate,” you said cautiously. “I’ve been traveling with him for my whole life.”

You heard the door swing open, Nami and Vivi walking in. “Sanji! Can we-”

They both stopped when they saw you. “Ace!” Nami called out. “Y/N is in here! Sanji, can we get something sweet and cold? We’re dying out there!”

“Coming right up, Nami-swan!” Sanji pulled out a few ingredients and utensils and began to get to work. “So, Y/N. Your father’s a pirate. What’s that been like?”

Nami looked over at you, intrigued with this information. “Your father is a pirate?” she asked. “Does he have a big bounty?!”

“Uh-”

“Sanjiiiiii,” Luffy called out, walking through the doors. “I’m hungryyyyyy!”

“Wait your turn!” Sanji snapped, and you chuckled at his demeanor change. He really did remind you of Thatch. 

“What’s this about bounties?” Luffy asked, looking at you and Nami. 

“Y/N’s father is a pirate and has a bounty,” Nami said, looking at you. “So what is it?”

“I don’t remember,” you said truthfully. “It was pretty high last time I checked.”

“Higher than mine?” Luffy asked. “I’m at ten million berries!”

“I saw!” You were eager to change the subject. “That’s impressive for a rookie!”

“Well, what’s your dad’s name?” Nami asked, refusing to let the topic go. “Maybe we can look it up the next time we're in a town.”

You stuttered, trying to think of some way to derail the conversation to avoid answering the question. 

“Do you have a bounty?” Luffy asked. “Does Ace have a bounty?”

“Ace has a bounty!” You ignored the first part of his question. “550 million!”

“Five hundred million!?!” Nami screamed, her eyes only seeing money signs. 

“What did you expect from the second division commander of the Whitebeard Pirates?” Zoro said. You hadn’t even seen him come in. People were crowding around you now, obscuring your view of the door. “He’s not even the highest bounty on the ship. He’s not even the highest in his division.” 

“Not even the highest in his division?!” Nami yelled. “He’s the commander! Who could be higher than a division commander?!”

“He’s got another high ranking, influential member under his command. Big problem for the Navy. The two of them equaled well over a billion berries together.” Zoro’s eyes flashed at you to indicate that he knew your secret, but he didn’t say anything further. 

Vivi nodded in agreement, equally as surprised. “If that’s an individual’s bounty, I don’t even want to know how much it is for their captain.”

“It was around 5 billion, last time I checked,” Ace said casually, coming into the kitchen. “Though nobody can touch him. He’s an emperor for a reason.”

“An emperor?” Luffy didn’t seem to understand the term, but that wasn’t surprising for someone who just entered Paradise. 

“Ace!” Nami shouted, running up to him. “Who is worth more than you in your division!? Are they really that strong?!”

Ace laughed, his eyes flitting over to you. “Strong and smart. You wouldn’t want to cross her.”

Everyone gasped. “Her?!” they shouted, each of them shooting off a new question. 

It was getting too crowded in this room. Everything felt cramped and the voices felt too loud. People were asking too many questions, their voices rising with excitement.

“Okay, everyone out!” Sanji ordered. “Food will be ready soon! Until then, wait on the deck!”

You started to get up, but Sanji grabbed your wrist. “You don’t have to go,” he said gently. “Everyone else was just too damn noisy.”

“I-”

“Hey!” Ace came over to you and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I was looking for you. Everything okay?”

You nodded. “Just tired,” you said. “Stomach is a little uneasy.”

“Aw,” Ace pouted at your stomach and pinched your sides, causing you to giggle and squirm under his touch. “Your stomach needs to behave.”

“I’ll prep some food that should help it settle,” Sanji offered, giving you a sweet smile. “If there’s anything else that I should accommodate for, just let me know.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’ll let you know if I think of anything.”

“Come join the party,” Ace whined, pulling you off the seat. You didn’t want to go, but Ace dragged you back onto the deck with the others.

You gave Sanji a quick apologetic smile as the door swung shut, and then turned back to your boyfriend. 

“Portgas D. Ace,” you purred in his ear, low so only he could hear you. “Are you jealous?”

He gave a cocky laugh, but didn’t answer your question, and you giggled in delight. 

“I just want to spend time with you,” he pouted. “And he’s a major flirt with all the ladies.”

“You’re one to talk,” you teased back, holding his hand a little bit tighter. 

“Do you want any ale?” Luffy asked, holding out a tankard for you. 

As much as you wanted to say yes, you politely declined. Alcohol sure would be nice right about now. You were too nervous for your own good. But alcohol just wasn’t possible right now. 

Thankfully, Ace worked to control the conversation, keeping people away from asking questions about you and your past. You tried your best to pay attention, but you couldn’t bring yourself to focus when you still felt so sick. Until Vivi spoke.

You learned that Vivi was the princess of this island, a Nefertari. She explained why she was with the Strawhats, and how she had asked them for help to save her country. 

“I’ve heard of this before,” You muttered to Ace as Vivi continued to tell her story. “All of this sounds very familiar.”

“Really?” Ace asked, looking at you. “Did you read about it in a book?”

“No…” you wracked your brain, trying to remember. “It was a report,” you said. “About the warlord here and something with the weather.”

“Yes!” Vivi said, interrupting your thought process. Apparently she had been listening to your conversation. “Crocodile. I think he’s been doing something to ensure it doesn’t rain in Alabasta.”

“The Navy report!” you cried, looking at Ace. “From the night at the Ball! Those files! One of the ones I read was about Crocodile and how he’s been using some kind of chemical to stop the rain. The Navy was monitoring it, but that was six months ago.”

Vivi looked at you, her face full of horror. “Are you telling me that the Navy knew about this? The whole time?”

You nodded. “I think they said they would monitor it for a year or so before they made a decision to revoke his warlord status.”

“A year?!?” Vivi screamed out in frustration. “People are losing everything! People are dying! And they want to wait a year?!”

“Maybe it was an old report.” But you knew that was a lie. That one had been newly created, you remembered the report date. 

“It wasn’t,” Vivi said. “We tried to tell the Navy about it years ago, and they just didn’t care!” 

“We’re going to help you, Vivi,” Luffy promised. “We’re going to take down Crocodile and save Alabasta. I promise.”

It was a big promise, but you had a feeling Luffy would be able to deliver on it. 

“Lunch is ready!” Sanji finally called, and you all filed into the kitchen to eat. 

“Once we eat, we’ll need to start moving if we want to reach Yuba before the rebel army heads for the Capital,” Vivi said, sitting down at a seat. 

“We’ll join you, if that’s okay,” Ace said, pulling out a seat for you and then sitting down in the one next to it. 

“We will?” you asked, looking at him in confusion. That hadn’t been the plan.

“Sure,” Ace said. “The Bounty Hunter Gallant Scorpion is supposed to be in that desert. It’d be helpful to have a knowledgeable guide to lead the way.”

“Ace, I told you-”

“It’ll be fun,” he said, looking at you and nodding encouragingly. “We have to check it out anyway.”

You didn’t have to check it out, you wanted to remind him. But Ace seemed determined to check off all his boxes, even if it was only a fraction of a chance.

“Bounty hunter?” Nami asked. “Why are you searching for a bounty hunter?”

“He claims to have caught a guy we’re looking for,” you explained. “Marshall D. Teach.”

“Why are you looking for him?” Zoro chuckled “He need rescuing?”

“No.” You gritted your teeth, staring down at the extravagant meal. “He needs to be killed.”

You couldn’t stomach the idea of saving Teach. He was a traitor, worse than scum. 

You pushed your plate away and left the table without another word. Your appetite was gone again. Sanji was an amazing cook, but food was harder to eat when it wasn’t prepared by Thatch. 

You sat in the shade on the deck, staring out across the ocean. You wondered what Marco was doing now, or even Whitey and Brew. Were they keeping their ears open for any sign of Teach? Or had your father told everyone else to forget what had happened and left it entirely up to you and Ace?

“Hey,” Ace came and sat next to you, looking out across the sea. “Is this too much for you?”

“What?” You sucked in a breath, offended Ace would even ask that question. 

“A lot of things have happened over the past week. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m fine,” you snapped. “We just need to find Teach and get this over with.”

“I agree,” Ace said. “But he’s not going anywhere. He’ll be hanging around Paradise for a while. He’s forming a crew. We have time.”

“No, we don't!” You cried. “Thatch can’t rest until we-” You choked out a sob and wiped at your eyes, trying to stop the tears before they started. 

“You haven’t really had time to process this,” Ace said. “Any of this. Maybe we just need to take a few days and relax, okay?”

“I don’t want to relax!” Tears were pouring out of your eyes now, and you abandoned your attempt to keep your face clear. “I’m running out of time! We have less than two months to find him before I become useless!”

“You’re not useless,” Ace assured you, but you only cried harder. 

“Yes I am!” you sobbed. “I can’t think straight or come up with plans. I can’t even use my ability for more than fifteen minutes or I get sick! I can’t do anything!”

“Hey.” Ace sandwiched your face between his hands, forcing you to stare at him. “You are smart and strong and so, so powerful. You’re having an off week, for many good reasons. This one week does not define you, okay?”

“You just don’t get it,” you grumbled, your cheeks puffed out as you pouted. 

“You’re right,” Ace said, smoothing down your stray pieces of hair. “I don’t get it. Nobody really gets what you’re going through. It’s unimaginable.”

You sniffled, wiping the tears and snot from your face. “I’m so tired,” you whispered, your voice cracking with despair. 

“So let’s travel with Luffy to Yuba. We’ll find whoever it is who says he has Teach. Maybe he’ll know something we don’t already know. Okay?”

You nodded, resigning yourself to his advice. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your lips, still holding your face still so you couldn’t break away. 

When he finally pulled away from you and released you, you wiped your cheeks again, trying to get all of your tears off your face. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder. Your only solace in these moments was knowing that whatever you were going through, Ace was there with you. 

“You’d figure it out,” Ace said softly. 

“I’m glad I don’t have to.”

Ace hummed in response, a soft smile on his lips, but he said nothing. His mind had to be racing just as fast as yours was. 

Maybe it would be good for both of you to take a desert detour. 

--

Tag list! @taeyoge @teiza @tojislawyer @trafalgardnami @bloopbopsblog @dancingnewcat @dxestyi @flooofity @nyxthedragon01 @deadsnothere @h-rhodes1598  @morgyyyyyyy @trafalgardvivi  @fiestynatureweeb @frogpogjoghurt @beepboopcowboy @ms-portgas @luvyallbabes @appalost @zuchkaa @saybeyonce @stray-npc @kitsunechan707 @theyluvmesblog @heartysworld @aira-needs-sleep  @mothmomjay @ophelias-flowerss @aqualein

[posarmeklen]

Don’t you hate when you turn your back for a minute at your dead-end copy job (sorry, dead-end desktop publishing job), and all of a sudden, one half of your sister’s cool teen quartet along with your horndog conspiracist friend are holding paper products (er, helping with a big job) and flapping their lips about the latter’s fairly new unplanned pregnancy?

It was just a coincidence that Goat swung by to visit Alex at Repro Man’s shortly after Fruity and Matt came in, and even though they had heard through Chaka (who, naturally, knew because of Alex) that the older man was in a “delicate” condition, it was their first time bumping into him in person since.

Hearing Fruity’s compliments, Matt turned around from the poster in his hands. “Oh, hey, Goat,” he greeted him.

“Hey, Matt, what’s up?”  

“Probably nothing compared to what’s up with you, right?”

“Yeah, I’ve been busy.” Goat coughed.

“Yeah, you know, my cousin just had a baby a couple months ago,” Matt offered up. “I’m not gonna lie, it wasn’t easy for her, but she said it was totally worth it. You know, yin and yang and all that.”

“Hey, I don’t think this situation calls for the poetry.” Fruity made a disapproving smacking sound with his lips.  “Man, can’t you just leave this beautiful thing be?” Goat smirked.

“Chill out, alright?” said Matt, gingerly transferring a large stack of paper from Fruity’s hands to his own and placing it by the copier. “I was just going to ask how he’s taking it.”

“Well,” Goat said emphatically. “Do you want the miracle-of-life Demi Moore Vanity Fair edition, or the cold unabridged truth?” His words conjured an image of himself, au naturel and assuming the pose of the actress, which subsequently splintered and fell away like a broken pane of glass.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less than the second one from you.” Matt smiled.

“Oh, it’s fuckin’ brutal,” he asserted. “Imagine the most head-splitting zombifying hangover, with none of the fun from the night before.”

Fruity raised his eyebrows. “None?”

“Oooh, rough…” Matt mumbled sympathetically.

“My back hurts all time. Everything’s sweaty. Plus, on top of that, I can’t really see my junk. It makes for a challenge when women’s volleyball is on and I wanna –”

“Alright, alright…” Matt’s laugh cut the description of his plight short. “I think we get the picture.”

“Hey, we’re all guys here!” grinned Fruity, giving an open-palmed shrug.

“I will say, it’s not a total loss,” Goat went on. “I seem to have unlocked a brand-new level of savoring life’s pleasures.”

“Oh, because you had trouble with that before, right?” teased Matt.

“Eh, I don’t know, but this baby must love Ring-Dings and Bud Light.”

“Hey, and at least the ladies eat up this stuff,” Fruity said. “You know, feeling the baby kick and comparing its size to a dill pickle and crap. They must be all over you.”

“Uh, yeah, yeah, right on.” Goat looked past him, letting out a sigh. “Is there a bathroom in this place? I gotta take a leak.”

“Yeah, right over by the back wall,” said Matt.

“I won’t keep you,” Fruity added, motioning in the general direction of the door.

So anyway, when it comes to Fruity’s comment re: the “fairer sex” and pregnancy, I would be remiss not to mention the kindred spirit Goat hit it off with, the child’s second parent (seen in my Downtown posts of yesteryear. However, I did change her name for some reason. Friendship ended with “Jackie”, “Kasey” is my best friend now). *clears my throat and shuffles flashcards* There came a point of awareness that despite their similarities, they were at really different life stages (Goat had been doing his own thing for years, but Kasey, a trans woman who was Goat’s age, had been living as herself for a fraction of that and was relishing her freedom) and while Goat initially hadn’t changed his lifestyle a bit to accommodate the pregnancy, she didn’t want to live like him forever and begrudged his seeming lack of trying. Words were exchanged, and the pair went their separate ways. Not to worry – they would soon rekindle, and both put forth effort to be healthier (in Goat’s case, he was mostly propelled by the knowledge of his physical condition; in Kasey’s, she was inspired to show a sort of solidarity with him, plus she would soon be a parent as well, despite not physically being pregnant).  But given their respective issues, neither swayed the other in a positive direction, and they soon reached the disappointing yet amicable conclusion that they were perhaps too alike to remain close. And in the midst of that, they just knew neither of them were cut out to raise children (what were we thinking?) – so wish granted for a lucky adoptive parent(s). But I digress… I wonder if some of this diverted him from regaling Fruity and Matt with salacious tales when given the opportunity.

Also, by the way? Even though Fruity was being facetious in my picture and Goat wouldn’t name his offspring after himself, he and the aforementioned second parent did discover at an ultrasound (the first and only; Goat completely forgot about an appointment scheduled earlier in the pregnancy 😑) that the fetus was male. Goat after he and Kasey exchanged an overwhelmed glance and muttered fragmented agreeable noises upon being asked if they were interested in finding out the baby’s sex today: “Rock on! Built-in apprentice and wingman, here I come…” *medical technician politely chuckling intensifies*

[eschergirls]

It's been 2 weeks and it's almost Halloween so it's time to announce the winners of the spooky October caption contest!

We had a lot of submissions and they were all really good, so like last month, I'll pick 3 winners (in order) and 3 honorable mentions.

Each winner will get to choose a prize if they wish (but you don't have to, you can just participate for fun too.)  The prizes are extra Steam codes that I've acquired through bundles over the years and I figure that giving them out for contests would be fun.  If you won and want a prize, please contact me. Honorable mentions can get a prize if any of the winners decline (I will contact you if that happens).  

Anyway here are the entries, as usual, grouped by the platform they were submitted on:

Fedi/Mastodon:

Dollcomics: Even with insurance, a comic book heroines back surgery always cost an arm and a leg Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Disqus:

Demma10: "... But it's the pelvic thrust, that will make you go insane (and lose your hips or limbs). Let's, do, the (battle) time warp, again." P J Evans: "Die, cursed arm, DIE!"

Tumblr:

atomicmosaic: perspective so bad I can't even tell whose ass is supposed to be whose atomicniire: "thank god this flying body part is covering up my massive boner" auronlu: "Internal organs!" she thought, hacking and chopping in such a frenzy of despair that her vertebrae rattled like the overtaxed joints of a 1980a snake puzzle. "If I can't have any, why should they!?" elkian: Gloria hates it when the sound stage gets double-booked, but she is scheduled to rehearse 2 hours of opera practice and no amount of zombie gorefest is going to stop her, goddammit! fyrenwater: "No, I said PUMPKIN carving, not bumpkin carving!" glidingisindeedfaster: "I’LL BE THE FIRST ONE IN THE WORM POSE CONTEST AND YOU GUYS CAN’T STOP MEEEEE" harukami: The halftime show got weirder every year. karltface: But it was just as she had feared: despite adopting ever more ridiculous fighting styles, her skill was so great, there was no threat, no challenge, no pride in any fight. The genie had been right to laugh. milkawa-and-co: "Come on ! Killing 1200 zombies with the Butt Thrust Spell and the Golden Sexy Armor is the last succes I need to platinium this game !" silveraptor: “TV Tropes calls this the ‘Interplay of Sex and Violence’ I call this ‘what happens when a comic book artist mixes up their Work and “Taxes” folders’.” swanfink: "And it's the pelvic thruuust~ That really drives you insa-a-a-ane~!" thecomicsrack: Plasticine Lass v The Evil Dead thevikingfish-nimhrodell: "Ohhhhh, I'm in the fight,  my hips don't lie, I'm stabbin' to kill this guy.  Put him in traction, after i hack him. Mauling zombies, yes, this is perfection!" vis-a-vi: "Please turn your attention to the figure on the left wielding a club. Note that he has no nipple on his left side. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk." zombiemollusk: me and the boys havin a wild gore-gy

The honorable mentions go to: Dollcomics, @fyrenwater, and @zombiemollusk

The runner-ups are:

In third place: @thevikingfish-nimhrodell

In second place: @harukami

And the winner is... Ordinating Aether Show: Sex (as depicted in an abstinence-only textbook)

Congrats to the winners and thank you and a Happy Early Halloween to everybody who submitted a caption!  The captions were also really good this month too!

Please stay tuned for a new caption contest in November!

If you won and would like a Steam code as a prize, please message me with which prize you would like.  If you came in 2nd, message me with 2 choices in order of preference...  I'll give you your top choice that hadn't been taken by the other winners. (To clarify, every winner only gets 1 prize, but winners other than the one in first place should give me their list of games in order of preference so if one is taken, I'll give you the next on the list.  It makes it easier for me to hand out the prizes.)

If the winner or the runner ups don't claim a prize, then the honorable mentions get a prize if they want one.

The Steam codes I have available as prizes are for: Aragami, Cook, Serve, Delicious! 3, Hotel Giant 2, I Am Fish, Ittle Dew 2+, My Time At Portia, Riot: Civil Unrest, Shadow Tactics: Blades of the Shogun, Survivalist, Trifox, Tunche, and Uncertain: Light At The End.

[6okuto]

idk if ur reqs are open but I would love to hear your thoughts on Vere 👁️👁️ hes literally dominated my entire headspace I can’t go ten minutes w/o thinking ab how I want to bite his forearm

GENERAL VERE HCS

gn!reader | back 2 knocking these guys out of the park. also i realized these are shorter than my hq bf hcs so. if anyone wants a pt.2 for anybody.. u know what to do

i think u Should bite his arm. For Fun. vere w bite-y partner who he bites back. 'gently' considering he has fangs though

congratulations on being one of 2 people he'd let touch and brush his tail. sometimes he swishes it against your face and then pretends he didn't. "i have no idea what you're talking about," he says before making direct eye contact and doing it again

he likes drawing. ok. have we considered him drawing you. you ask him about it and he says he won't show you. you tease him and ask "what? did you draw sparkles and hearts surrounding me?" and he plays along, "yes, i even checked what i'd look like with your last name and drew us kissing."

It's actually quite a nice sketch of you though. like of you smiling or asleep or something because you fell aslep near him. oh man...

vere knows all the ins and outs of the city which means he can give you a personalized tour that caters to all your interests!! you can ask him to take you to his favourite spots too of course but he feels very accomplished watching you grin in the store he purposely walked by

shocked if you get him a gift. acts nonchalant and is good enough at accepting things but internally, especially if it's something he's been eyeing for a while or has sentimental value,, he . He....

like yeah okay vere...act all cool...as if your eyes don't flicker over whenever you walk past it...as if you don't catch yourself smiling subconsciously...whatever

definitely tries cooking your favourite meal. doesn't go very well, especially if it's something he's never had, but he'll keep practicing until he makes something decent. don't ask how many attempts he did because he won't tell you unless he somehow started a fire and even Then the truth is debatable

if YOU know how to cook it Please for the love of god teach him, or write down the recipe for both your sakes. for the kitchen. plea

everyone tells him/the both of you to shut the hell up whenever you start flirting back and forth/competing to see how many innuendos you can feasibly say. the both of you team up only to bully everyone else for being single before continuing

asshole if you played uno. i'm not competitive nor do i give two shits if i lose at uno but even i would lose it watching vere push for whatever stacking rule he needs to get someone a +20. watch your cards or he'll manage to look over at them. do not trust a single deal he tries. watch his ears and tail i'm sure he has a tell

really good at helping build confidence . what ais said about him being honest but also not trusting anything he says yeah well this is when he'd be completely honest. easily reminds you how capable you are of something, knows what makes you confident, etc etc. and you just ? know you can trust him? it's the vibe. how he says it so plainly as if it's obvious

don't try to lie to him about things. like if you're upset about something it is So obvious to him no matter how hard you try and he'd really appreciate it if you would tell him why or ask to talk about it later when you're ready.

^ as someone who wants to piss her pants at the thought of being direct or whatever,, he'd also be very good at knowing when to push or not. if you respond better to a lighter/gentle reminder i'm sure he would do so :heart:

i have a feeling this guy would be incredibly incredibly incredibly into you asking to post him on any socmed. do you want his face in it. do you want it to be a little spicy. should he pose. actually he probably pouts a little if you want a faceless pose but bro why does it matter if there is not a cm of space between us. why is your hand around my neck rn /lh You know the poses