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theawkwardterrier · 5 years ago

Text

Beneath the Flap

Steggy Week 2k19, day 4 Prompt: AUs and crossovers

Summary: The serum doesn’t work out as planned. Steve gets a new role in the SSR.

AO3 link here.

With Dr. Erskine dead, no one can entirely explain why the serum worked, or why Steve woke up the next morning to find that it had entirely stopped working and left him just as he had been before. The vein in Colonel Phillips’ neck gets a worryingly energetic workout as he moves between yelling at Steve (again) for getting himself on the front page, and yelling at Howard for having created a single super soldier for about twelve hours and now not even that.

“What’s done,” Agent Carter says firmly from her place against the wall behind the desk, “is done. And I think, sir, that we all just need to move forward. We’re still meant to fly to London, I presume?” She doesn’t give Steve more than a casual glance, but he still appreciates her speaking up on his behalf.

“The three of us are,” Phillips says, moving on to a more businesslike crabbiness. “But now I don’t have many options for what to do with this one.”

Steve stands as straight as he can now that his scoliosis is back. “Sir, I’d like to reiterate my request to come to London with you.”

Phillips gives a snorting little laugh. “‘Reiterate your request.’ Son, I’d like to remind you that I turned you down yesterday during your fifteen minutes of being Charles Atlas. Now you’re back to being a shrimpy little thing who barely survived basic? I’m sorry, but the senator doesn’t want you on his plate, and neither do I. We’ll just have to see if the lab boys will still take you.”

Stark steps forward. “Actually, I’d like to keep looking at him. At this point, I’m the most familiar with the process. Maybe by figuring out what went wrong here, I can figure out how to get it working again.” Phillips still looks dubious, so he adds, “Might be able to make it more broadly applicable, get the whole program working like we had wanted.”

There’s a split second where Steve thinks the answer will be no, but then Phillips says gruffly, “Alright, pack your bags. But Stark, this had absolutely better not interfere with your other work.”

“It’ll be a side project,” Stark swears, raising a hand.

“And perhaps when Private Rogers is not being a test subject, we could find him some other duties,” adds Agent Carter, and while it’s phrased as a suggestion, it borders on an order. Phillips looks amused so briefly Steve isn’t entirely sure he saw right, but then points a finger at Agent Carter.

“You’re right, Agent. I suppose I can find him something else to take care of.”

“Like I said, most people are pretty good by now about keeping it clean,” says Private Allen, “but if you catch something…” She snips her scissors through the air over the shared square desk in their back office in demonstration.

Steve eyes his pair warily. Sure, he’s had his own mail censored, he knows that. But being the censor is different. Time of war, he reminds himself, and winces at what a slippery slope that is.

Once he gets started, though, he finds that it is pretty easy, just as Private Allen had said. Most of the folks detailed to the SSR know how to keep a secret, and the stuff they write to siblings or sweethearts or fellow soldiers is pedestrian - about the food, or how they're feeling, or the guy in the next bunk who talks in his sleep. Steve snorts reading through the half dozen letters Corporal Daniels has copied out exactly to different girls at different addresses, and rolls his eyes at the way Private Ellerby describes his duties to his mother with a sort of loftiness that is entirely unearned by the guy in charge of divvying out new boots.

He hasn't even touched his scissors, and hasn't entirely realized the morning has passed when Allen says, "One more each and then we'll go have some lunch?" and he agrees.

Dear Kitty, says the letter that he opens next

The weather isn't exactly welcoming, but it is nice to see familiar scenery again. I know things might wear for you a bit, seeing the inside of the same four walls most of the time, but it wears on me sometimes not to always know where I'm going to hang my hat from one night to the next.

(Not that I wear my uniform hat very often - it gives me a bit too much of a jaunty recruitment poster look - but you'll forgive a turn of phrase, I hope?)

Steve laughs a little, and Allen, not looking up from her own letter, asks, "Is that one of Patterson's? If he's trying to hint again about what he’s packing down below, I'll tell you that he's certainly exaggerating." Steve waves her off and continues.

Things haven't been going quite as smoothly as I'd wished - we lost an excellent man recently, and in some senses more - but we go on. I'll be travelling a bit and I'm not sure where, but I'm sure the service will do its best to make sure that your letters find me. I know that you enjoy a good chat more than sitting down to compose a letter, but I'll ask your favor in continuing to write. Since Michael— the writer censors herself, a thick black line drawn through whatever she had written next. Steve refrains from holding it up to the light to try to identify the words.

Hearing news from old friends always brings a smile to my face, and reminds me that we aren't fighting alone. And, of course, your care packages are always appreciated. The one you sent last time was a treat. The Body in the Library and a pair of your hoarded Dairy Milks were just what I needed - bless you, and twice again!

As for the issue we spoke about last time we were together, I'd ask that you remember to speak up. I know you think that you were brought on only because you are excellent at adding numbers together in your head, but I'll remind you that the skill is more than that and I wasn't the only one who noticed. Mr. G can certainly build a head of steam, but steam is simply the venting of heat and we’ll all be better off if you hold your ground, wait for it to dissipate, and make sure that he understands what you're saying. I appreciate knowing that people like you are helping us work through our problems, and I'll sleep even better at night if you would push through the stubbornness of others and allow your solutions to truly shine. You are brilliant, you've been right more often than nearly anyone, and if they aren't going to listen, you must make them.

I'll leave off my scolding here (I am still holding out for something sweet next time, after all) but remember that I'm thinking of you even through everything else. Speak out, Kit!

Much love,

Peggy

When he comes to the signature, something in him isn't surprised. It isn't that he and Agent Carter are best friends - little could be further from the truth - but the letter shows the tenacity and intelligence and subversive bits of humor that he has already noticed in her. The handwriting is clear and readable, although there's a bit of a patchwork quality to its composition, a smudging to the ink in some places, that makes him think that it was dashed off in odd moments, pieced together as she found the time, and that touches him too: the thought of her remembering to jot down advice and comfort to a friend even with everything he’s seen her taking care of. He notices the places where she'd done her job for him too - "the issue we spoke about last time," “Mr. G” - and his eyes move again to the thick black slash in the center of the page. There's still a place or two where he should probably do a bit of a snip (the reference to Erskine's death is on the borderline), but he decides to let it slide. Steve was chosen for this job, as much as Phillips had chosen him for anything, because he had knowledge of some of the SSR's most top secret work and would be able to pick up references to it. Someone without that knowledge, though, wouldn't understand what was truly being said.

Or at least that's what Steve tells himself as he slips the letter, whole and untouched, back into its envelope, marks it with his censor’s label, and places it in the box set aside for mailing.

"Time for lunch?" Allen asks, getting to her feet, and Steve, considering whether he’ll have time to eat and still run out to find a bookshop with Agatha Christie, agrees.

Kitty -

Just a brief note to wish you a happy birthday. Imagine me singing if you’d like, though I think we both know that it isn’t truly a strong point of mine.

Considering geography, weather, battle lines, the whims of fate, etc., I’m not entirely certain that this will reach you before your next birthday, but hopefully my gift will arrive in a timelier manner (it needs some more particular handling than a letter; you’ll understand my meaning when you receive it).

I hope everyone there is planning to celebrate you properly. And if they’re still reluctant to have a real party there after the one they threw for me and Fred, please pass on from me that I don’t actually consider what happened between us a tragedy and that things in fact are looking even better for me now than they were then - in more ways than one, actually.

I know it seems a bit defensive, but speaking honestly, Kit, I look back on the person I was then and it’s as if I only dreamed being her.

Anyway, you can pass on my official lifting of the curse, along with my greetings to everyone (except Noreen - we both know why). But many happy returns mostly to you, Kitty. I hope things look even better at this time next year for all of us.

Best, Peg

“So why did they pick you for this detail?” Steve asks as they sit at their traditional table in the mess.

“I’m usually in the secretarial pool,” says Rainy. Maybe it’s not professional and he should still be calling her Private Allen, but she’d told him her nickname and he figures they’re friends now. “It was in my file that I speak French, and after the last girl who did got married, they asked me to step in. You know that we can’t just pass through letters because there’s no one to understand them.” Steve is meant to be taking a similar role for the SSR’s secret and science-related assignments - last week he’d finally been given some heightened clearance, and several encyclopedias worth of classified files to read - but sometimes he wonders if assigning him the letters not actually written in English would be more effective.

Rainy pushes away her plate, the little leftover lump of stew, with its approximate meat and perhaps once potatoes, jiggling slightly. She examines her bread, crinkling her mouth, but butters it anyway. Steve doesn’t take any such issue. Meals here are served on time and in what he considers plentiful quantities. Plus the doctor who’d done his physical when he’d arrived had put him on some sort of extra milk ration in an attempt to “get some heft on these bones of yours” (and given him the glasses he’d known for years he’d needed and also known he couldn’t afford). Steve can still sometimes grasp the feeling of those hours of having been taller, broader, of not struggling to breathe, of having a straight spine and eyes that just worked. But even without all that magical science he had hoped would change things, being a little guy in the army he’s in some ways better off than he’s ever been.

“Everyone from secretarial who has the night off is going to the pictures after supper, if you want to come,” offers Rainy. “They want to see Mrs. Miniver, but I have the feeling I’ll end up crying. I’d much rather see Yankee Doodle Dandy, but I’ve been outvoted again.” She puts on a little pout, which makes Steve laugh.

“Getting your performance ready?” he asks, and Rainy sticks her tongue out at him.

“The girls are much harder to convince than boys ever were,” she reflects, sighing as she tosses hair that Steve can now see clearly is a bouncy and beautiful blonde wave. With the glasses to help him actually pick up on details, he itches for his sketchbook and pencils more than ever. Rainy really does have a fascinating face, beautiful if not classically so, brimming with confidence and a bit of mystery. He wonders if he could get her to sit for him.

“Steve, are you going to answer the question, or are you just going to stare?”

“Sorry.” He decides to ask her later, maybe after the film and the inevitable follow-up visit to a pub. “I’d love to come. Thanks for asking me.”

She stands to clear her dishes. “Well, everyone’s been wondering about you, so coming out tonight and meeting them might settle the questions.”

He knew that he stuck out among the staff here. The only surprise is that no one’s confronted him yet about how he’d gotten in. “So what’s everyone been saying?” He gulps down the last of his prescription milk and stands too.

“Top theory is that you’re the secret son of some higher up,” she tells him seriously, and he almost drops his tray.

“Which one?”

“Most people are split between Marshall and Nimitz, and there are some who are sure it’s actually Phillips, but I think Hap Arnold’s the best looking, so that’s where my money is.” She elbows him as they finish scraping and sorting their plates. “Want to give a pal the real story so I can get a jump on things?”

He shrugs, a little uncomfortable even as he’s amused by her matter-of-fact tone. “Someone took pity on me, I guess. Not a general though, and certainly not Phillips.”

There’s that theatrical nature again: Rainy looks disappointed only for a beat before she perks back up again, says, “We’ve got to come up with something better than that by tonight,” and starts proposing stories as they walk back to the censorship office.

Agent Carter is seated at a table by the back wall. For a second, Steve thinks he sees her eyes following him, and actually considers waving to her although they haven’t spoken since he’s been here. But then he blinks and she is just eating absently while paging through a file on the table in front of her.

Maybe the glasses just don’t work as well as he thought they did. He goes back to work, trying to forget the moment that he had apparently just imagined.

Steve starts saving her letters until the end of the day. He knows that it isn’t exactly professional of him, but he can't help but want to savor them. He tells himself it's alright - he doesn't give special treatment to all her letters, only those to Kit. The dutiful missives to her parents, those that go to the other relatives and acquaintances with whom she occasionally corresponds - they are all read and processed in the order he comes across them, just as he does with all the rest of his load. But when he comes across one addressed in her now-familiar handwriting to Katherine Moore, he tucks it aside, uses it as an incentive to get through another day of the work that wears and weighs on him more and more.

He is angry at himself, that all he wanted to do was make a real contribution to the war effort and here he is in the heart of it all and still it isn't enough for him. He is angrier that he has given up asking Phillips for more that it seems he will never receive. And he lies guiltily in his bunk at night thinking about how much he loves reading over Peggy's writing, hating that he thinks of her as Peggy now only because he's listened in on her talking to a friend. Sure, it's his job, and sure, she must know that someone would be doing it, but it doesn't give him the right to take so much joy in it. No one else would give them more than a cursory glance - they're perfectly ordinary letters on the face of it; whoever reads Kit's letters on the other end probably doesn't remember them by the time they're through - but Steve can't help it. When he forgets himself, he wonders what she is going to say the next time, what little turn of phrase will make him laugh, what observation will make him think, what detail she will reveal about her life that will only make him fall for her further.

Dear Kitty,

When I said that you should speak out, I had no idea that I would be encouraging you to do so against me. I am proud of you, however. Excellent preparation for the next time someone tries to speak over one of your ideas (and we both know there will come a next time).

You say that you're ashamed that I'm happier now during wartime than I would have been otherwise. Sometimes I'm ashamed at it myself. But then I remember that it is not my choice to make it better for many women in Britain now than it was when we were at peace. Yes, the franchise has been extended by a lordly and reluctant hand, but I'll remind you that it was through strenuous efforts on the parts of our mothers (well, not mine, perhaps) both in civil protest and in another time of war. Do you truly think you would have been allowed to learn higher maths, the advanced calculus over which I despair and in which you so revel, to truly exercise your brilliant mind, had the opportunity at B— (she's blacked out the name, although Steve has read enough of his classified files to insert "Bletchley Park"; he snips carefully to take out the redaction completely) not been opened to you? Do you think that I would have been allowed to show what I was truly made of in a world where women were meant to aspire only to a man, home, and family - and where a nice man, a fitting man, was neither required, nor encouraged in developing?

This war has devastated me, Kit. I've seen its ravages more closely than you can imagine and they terrify and sicken me, and make me even more determined. I am doing absolutely everything in my power to make sure it comes to as clean, fast, and righteous an end as can be hoped for at this point. But I would make myself a liar to my own mind and to you if I ignored the ways that it has given me things that I never would have had, showed me things I might not have discovered until too late otherwise.

I would trade my life for the war to be over. I would trade my life for it to never have started. But it has, it is here, and it has opened doors that would have remained firmly shut - and I know not only for me.

Peggy

P.S. Had a report from Hew that you're in high spirits, and that you were very thankful for the birthday gift - I will politely refrain from imagining how you might have showed your appreciation. Don't worry, it wasn't hard to have him reassigned to courier duty in line with your special day, and I’m sure I’ll have another urgent message to send along with him. Perhaps just around New Year’s?

“What are you sighing about?” Rainy asks, eyes almost crossing as she focuses on cutting out some single incriminating word inconsiderately placed in the exact center of the page.

Steve hadn’t even realized he had been sighing. “It’s nothing,” he says, thinking about how Peggy had so perfectly, so precisely and vehemently, expressed something he had felt himself and felt terrible for feeling, something he had never been quite sure how to say.

It made him feel a little less lonely. He wonders what she would say if he went up to her and said, “That strange and awful kind of lucky feeling? I understand it too.” Probably she wouldn’t say anything, just wonder who in the hell he was and get him shipped back home.

It might be worth it, though, just to see her in real life again, instead of the vague paper outline he has to conjure up every time he reads her words.

“Now I’m not calling this a solution,” Stark says as Steve buttons up his shirt and smiles at the nurse slipping out of the exam room. “But I’ll comfortably consider it a breakthrough.”

“A breakthrough that came totally by accident,” Steve points out.

“So did X-rays and the Toll House cookie.” Howard grins unconcernedly and claps his hands together. Steve’s been coming to see him every week or two for the last three months and he’s never looked this delighted with the progress. And it wasn’t even Howard who did anything: apparently a lab tech had brought one of the portable sun lamps which are so popular at headquarters over to his work station where he had a couple of vials of Steve’s blood.

“And you’re sure the ultraviolet in there caused some sort of reaction?” Steve asks.

“That’s the theory as of now. We’ll keep running isolation tests but,” Howard smacks a file gleefully against his palm, “the samples that were exposed to the UV look almost identical to the ones we had taken right after the procedure.”

“And you think you’ll really be able to get things back to how they were?”

For a minute, Howard looks more cautious. “I don’t want to get your hopes too far up, pal. It’s looking good, real good, but this really was Erskine’s baby and I’m just the understudy here. I don’t want to make any promises.”

“How much longer are you looking at for testing?”

“If it goes well, maybe another month and we’d be ready to try again. You still willing?”

Steve tries to give a simple nod, nothing overeager, nothing to jinx it. Last time had turned out to be too good to be true, but maybe this time… “Come find me when you’re ready.”

“Good enough.” The door opens, and Howard’s secretary enters. “Good to see you, sweetheart,” Howard tells her in that smarmy tone of his as she hands him a stack of papers to sign with a smile. He nods to Steve, who says, “Hi, Millie,” and sees himself out.

He’d told Rainy a couple of weeks back that he didn’t understand why girls like Millie put up with that kind of stuff from people like Howard or worse, and she’d just laughed and said, “Of course you don’t. The thing of it is, Steve, when this war finally gets done, most of us are going to have to go back to the way things were, which means that this is a perfect time to find a half decent husband. You have to keep smiling to keep the options open, even with the beasts around base.”

“Why would you want to settle for half decent?”

Her smile turned slightly brittle at the corners. “It’s not really about want, more about what’s going to have to happen. There aren’t as many nice men as you might think. I have standards - I keep my ear to the ground, so never anyone with a wife or a fiancee or a steady, and no one who’s given another girl a problem - but I have to jump on it, or I’ll be back home with a dud or everyone whispering about what I might have gotten up to with all these men here.”

Steve didn’t even feel overly affronted by the remark - he’d spent his whole life firmly in the dud category when it came to women, and at least Rainy was his friend - but something must have shown in his face because she’d pointed a finger and said, “You’re lucky I haven’t jumped you, honestly, but it’s pretty obvious that you’re taken, considering all the sighing and mooning you do when her letters come through here.”

“What do you—I’m not—I don’t moon.” But she was already grabbing a letter off her desk and staring at it with big dopey blinks, heaving her shoulders about and taking in huge, dramatic breaths, occasionally letting out a little ha-ha-ha chuckle. He guessed that it was probably a pretty decent impression of him reading one of Peggy’s letters, but he wished he wasn’t so obvious about it.

He’s not exactly being subtle now, but he never is on the way back from his appointments with Howard. He doesn’t get many other opportunities to wander around with his eyes casually peeled - usually he’s meant to either be working, at chow, or in his bunk, not moving through the more essential and top-secret SSR areas where people like Howard and Phillips and Agent Carter do their work.

He’s distracted from thoughts of getting a glimpse of her when he comes across the huge map that dominates the tactical room. He tries to just peep from the corners of his eyes as he strolls through, but even with his new glasses he can’t see quite that well. Then again, no one’s around at the moment, the last of the SSR personnel striding out with a stack of folders and not even a glance at Steve. He takes advantage, placing his hands at the edge of the massive model as his gaze sweeps over the little markers that represent troops and bases. He frowns, and not only because those little wooden figures are too insignificant for what they’re meant to stand in for: Bucky and his friends, people who Steve grew up with, millions of exhausted and foolish and jubilant soldiers, each with their own past and future. How can a war ever end when all the people fighting it are reduced to game pieces? How can a war ever end when the people in charge are overlooking something so major?

“That’s not right,” he mutters to himself.

“What isn’t right, Private?”

He spins, not quite believing that she is here, that he didn’t sense her behind him or at least hear her heels approaching.

“Your map’s wrong,” he blurts, thinking of the way Bucky would cover his face in embarrassment because even after all that tutelage Steve still couldn’t get a simple sentence out to impress a lady.

Her mouth twitches upward, just the left side, and she lifts a meaningful brow at him. “I did well at geography and I’m fairly certain that we’ve labeled everything correctly.”

“It’s not that.” He gestures to the Alps between Italy and Austria. “Why isn’t there a fortress marked there?”

“Why should there be?”

She is studying him intently now and he stumbles a bit with his words before getting back on track. “You’ve got a half dozen units which have encountered Hydra troops in a pretty small area and a short time span. They have to be coming from somewhere, and I’d say the likeliest place given the information is about here.”

“I’ve been informed by experts in six different disciplines that it’s absolutely impossible for someone to build anything there because of the bloody great mountains on either side. And until we can get further aerial surveillance of the site, it’s known around here as Agent Carter’s magical base theory,” she says with a wry bit of challenge in her eye. He just shrugs.

“I don’t know about magic, but I do know that logic dictates an enemy base around that location. And besides, isn’t this a rogue Nazi science operation we’re talking about? Maybe they could come up with a way around the problem of...what was that? ‘Bloody great mountains?’”

"Cheeky," she says quietly, but she's smiling as she does, and the affection in her tone startles him and turns something sour in his belly. Because she's here talking to him as an equal without knowing that he's been peering into her private thoughts, mulling over and coveting them in a way he doesn't with anyone else's feelings. If she knew that, she would probably never look at him with politeness much less friendliness.

"I should get back," he says abruptly, and he shoves his hands into his uniform pockets and finds the first exit he can.

Kit!

The news came through the grapevine before Hew arrived back - I should have known that soldiers would be such massive gossips, but honestly - which is how I've gotten this letter out in the early post.

Congratulations to the both of you. I know you have that lovely rose-covered church back home that will make the perfect spot for the ceremony - even if you decide on a winter wedding, everything will look absolutely picturesque all draped in snow. And while Hew might argue for Edinburgh, I do encourage you - as always - to put your foot down. Although goodness knows you would merely have to think about a trinket you saw on holiday as a child and the man would already be crawling on his knees over the ocean to fetch it for you. He really is a darling where you're concerned, and I say you couldn't be luckier.

I certainly have no wish to intrude on your happiness, but you did ask about my own romantic prospects, and I'm afraid to report that they're a bit stalled at the moment. (I don't wish to ruin things further, but "grim" might be putting it better, if I'm to be frank.) I wasn't actively seeking a single thing in that area, and I think you’re well aware how thin on the ground suitable prospects are, especially someone who would find me suitable in return. (If Fred was frightened off by a bit of light introductory work, he would barely give me the time of day in my current position.)

But then the man I’ve been writing about came across my path and I could suddenly think of little else. Do you recall the letter your sister sent years back describing the Ideal Man, the one we all laughed over that night until we couldn't breathe? I know it’s a silly old thing, but I keep thinking to myself that he ticks each box: kindness and compassion, intelligence, respect for who I am and what I stand for, looks (it must be mentioned), and that special something that works its magic on you in particular...Things are a bit sticky, given our relative positions, and he seems rather dense about the whole thing, but those factors could be overcome. We had a conversation recently that made me think he thought of me in the same way. However, it ended with a definite rejection, and I have seen him many times in close company with a woman, so I wonder if he is perhaps very privately spoken for. I'm nearly ready to give up, if you'd like the truth.

I know. You're the romantic of the two of us, Kitty, and I can practically hear you telling me to seize the day and not rest until I've properly done the job.

I suppose that attitude is why you are the once announcing an engagement and I'm the one moping over people who don't seem to notice a thing.

I'll take the advice, if I can. After all, I would never want to upset the bride before her nuptials.

All my love and best wishes,

Peggy

Well, Steve thinks, swallowing hard as he sets the letter down. That's that. She's had her eye on someone else this entire time and he was a fool to think he ever had a chance. This man is a fool, too, for not seeing the chance he has.

He still finds a smile for Kit: he's never met her, never even read one of her letters, but Peggy's warmth for her has sparked the same within himself. He hopes that she and Hew are happy, that they both make it through and have a chance at a life together.

"Take a walk, Rogers," Rainy tells him kindly. "You're going to fog up the windows with all your sighing, and it's still first thing in the morning."

"No," Steve says, biting down on the wave of sadness inside of himself. Even the letters, illicit as they were, aren't safe anymore. "I can work." He’ll have to get used to it sooner or later.

He starts looking out for the man who has Peggy’s heart. He doesn’t even notice he’s doing it until he catches himself staring with furrowed brow at a letter from Corporal Lewis, who he thinks he’s seen talking to her a couple of times. He tries to recall whether he’d noticed between them that particular magic she’d mentioned. He imagines he’d know what it looks like: it’s what he’s felt looking at her, all the way back to Camp Lehigh. With a precision that surprises him, he can recall the quiet amusement, the perfect red upturn of her mouth as she’d smiled at him when he’d climbed into the back of her jeep. The memory of it still makes him smile now, even as he knows that it’s the sort of thing that will have to keep him going from now on.

“Private Rogers.”

He snaps to attention, dropping the letter and saluting from the crisp, commanding tone even before he quite registers who’s addressing him.

“Agent Carter.” He flounders for a minute. “This is Rainy. Private Lorraine. Private Allen, I mean.”

“Private.” Peggy nods at her, but Rainy is too busy letting her eyebrows climb into her hair and mouthing “Is that her?!” at Steve as he tries to subtly wave her off. Unbelievable that he once thought her sophisticated and composed.

“Perhaps we might speak in the corridor? I wouldn’t want to distract Private Allen from her work.”

Steve can practically feel Rainy’s wide eyes on his back as he holds the door for Agent Carter and follows her out into the hallway. He expects that his friend will have her thumbscrews waiting when he comes back.

“Rainy would have let you distract her all day,” he says, trying for a laugh as they find a quiet place around the corner, but Peggy only presses her lips together and says, “Indeed.”

After a space of silence, still waiting for her to speak, he suddenly has an inkling of why he’s been called out here. She’s smart, Agent Carter, and she’s somehow figured out that reading her letters is the best part of any given day, that he sometimes reads them through two or three times before sending them on. She’s probably letting him stew in it, waiting for him to confess. “Was there something you wanted to speak with me about?” he asks through the clenching of his lungs and throat. He stands very straight even as a thread of sweat slides slowly between his uniformed shoulder blades.

“I did.” She gathers something within herself and starts, “Steve—” before he cuts her off.

“Yes, I’ve been reading your letters,” he blurts, barely registering the use of his first name. “It’s my job, but just doing your job is no excuse, and it certainly doesn’t let me off the hook for the way I read them. So I understand if you won’t ever trust me, but I just wanted us to both know.” He lets the last of his breath go as he trails off and faces her like a firing squad.

“Of course you’ve been reading my letters,” she says with what he thinks is a little smile on her face. “All of the higher level SSR correspondence is distributed to you.”

“You knew?” It feels as if he’s six steps behind and he doesn’t quite know how to make his brain catch up.

“Yes. Just as I know that you aren’t particularly good at the job. Agnes who empties your wastepaper basket says that the others in the department are full while you barely ever seem to have anything thrown away.”

“People don’t speak out of turn too often,” he says uncomfortably, but then adds with a bit more fire, “And there’s also the little matter of free speech, unless we just decided to hell with the whole Constitution around the same time we locked up all the Japanese folks.”

“Not quite,” and she’s certainly smiling now, eyes softened at the corners. “It sounds, however, as if you aren’t entirely satisfied in your current position. I was wondering whether we might put your skills to better use elsewhere.” She holds up a file folder he hadn’t even noticed before and flips it open to show far off shots of snow and dirt and trees and an incongruous steel fortress. “The surveillance flights came back. The Hydra base in the Alps is no longer simply my pet theory.”

He can’t help the way his voice picks up, turns serious and strangely professional, as if he’s really part of it all. “So you’re formulating an attack plan?”

“We have something in the works,” she says briefly. “And I actually— Well, I was here to offer you a chance to be involved.”

“In strategy? With you?”

“It would be nice,” she says slowly, “to work with someone with a mind of his own. Someone who can listen.”

Steve’s instinct is to glance around to make sure there’s no one else there she could be referring to. He smothers it, but ends up pointing stupidly to his own chest, which isn’t much better. “Are you sure—Do you really mean me?”

“Who would I be speaking of otherwise?” She tilts her head at him, a bit of hesitance to the motion. That’s not like Peggy, he thinks, and it’s so strange that he knows that she is cautious only in a tactical way when this is one of a bare handful of conversations between them. “Steve, you have been reading my letters, haven’t you? Even the most recent ones?”

A disbelieving little snort escapes him. “You can go back and ask Rainy that question and she’ll laugh herself sick.”

“Is she—Are you...in a relationship?”

“No,” he says in careful confusion, and then adds recklessly, “She says she wouldn’t even take a chance on a guy as hung up as I am on...someone else.”

He remembers the way that remade body of his had reacted, careening around corners, rushing too fast for control. That’s how he feels now, on an edge too rapidly, recklessly, approached. He’d always accepted that he wasn’t exactly a catch for any girl, no matter what Bucky had insisted, and he’d made himself stop caring about it all, given up reaching. Except for now, apparently. Except for her.

She says, “If you’ve read the letters, why would you assume I meant anyone else? Unless—” and something is dawning on him, terrifying and bright and impossible: the idea that she is reaching back.

“Why wouldn’t you just say something?” It’s bewildering to even ask the question, to even be entertaining the possibility that this is what she meant, but she acts as if it isn’t.

“I thought I was, after a fashion,” and he thinks he sees a bit of a blush rising in her cheeks. “Apparently I hadn’t taken into account your obtuseness.”

“And you still want someone that obtuse on your team?” The words contain too much yearning hope for them to simply be about a new army assignment.

“A little obtuseness can be charming, under the correct circumstances,” she says, and he hadn’t noticed that they were so close until a door slams down the hall and they shift apart as if they’re being chaperoned.

“Why don’t we say you report to me at 0800 tomorrow?” She folds the file against her chest with one arm. He has a sudden, delightful image of Peggy as she would have been at school. “I’ll have you officially reassigned by then.”

He nods. “Rainy’s going to be furious. She says it took long enough to break me in, she’s not going to be pleased to have to do it to someone else.”

“Yes, well, I think it’s someone else’s turn to break you in.” Even with her bland, businesslike tone, he feels the tips of his ears glowing from the insinuation.

“Just so I’m aware, how does—” He clears his throat. “How does Colonel Phillips feel about his people becoming...friendly under his watch?”

“Oh, he takes it about as well as you’d expect,” she says casually. “If he finds out about it.”

“Then I guess I’m lucky to have a crack SSR agent on my side.”

Her eyes meet his, and he sees his foolish grin echoed in hers for the moment she allows it. Watching her tuck it away and become professional again only makes him smile wider.

“I’ll see you in a timely manner tomorrow, Private, or I’ll be sending you a strongly worded letter.”

“That doesn’t give me much incentive,” he tells her honestly. “I’d love any kind of letter of my own from you.”

A week later he gets back to his bunk and finds an envelope tucked beneath the blanket addressed in familiar handwriting. He doesn’t even know how she got it there - he’d just left her after a strategy session and her announcement that they would be traveling to visit troops on the continent - but he sits and tears it open before he can think of anything else.

Dear Steve...

#steggyweek2k19 #Steggy #Steggy fic #Steve Rogers #Peggy Carter #Attachments by Rainbow Rowell ft. Steggy

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overdrivels · 5 years ago

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When applying to a curated artist alley

Portfolio should be an actual portfolio, not your entire (non-filtered) tumblr page or instagram with only your face.

I can’t tell what is your art and what is a reblog or what isn’t especially with some of the formats. Make it easy on the judges.

I will also be a little concerned if it’s a Google drive folder. Only because I don’t want you seeing me. I’m about as scared as you, okay?

This goes doubly for twitter without filters; I can’t look through your entire twitter trying to figure out which is your art and which is a retweet.

If you have set-up pictures from previous years, I am so happy.

If you don’t, don’t worry too much. It just makes it easier for me to know what to expect. I also like seeing marked improvement, but that’s just me.

Make sure your portfolio is public.

It sounds silly, but it happens. I don’t have the password or logins. Don’t make me hunt otherwise I will likely auto-disqualify.

Actually put in a portfolio.

I’ve seen people who put N/A for a portfolio link. Anything to tell me what your art looks like would be excellent, or what you even plan on selling would be great. I can’t just take your word that you’re a great artist, I need to see your art.

Test your link before you put it into the application.

I can deal with broken links every once in a while, but I usually see people forgetting the colon after http. Just check it with a quick copy and paste, it only takes a moment but it saves the judges so much time.

If you link your shop and you go on hiatus and close shop or something, boy do I have news for you.

Make your portfolio easily accessible.

If I have to click through about 4 or 5 different links just to get to your images, I’m going to be very annoyed. Some other judges might not even bother since they literally have way more portfolios to look through. Please, make it easy on your judges.

If your art takes forever to load from one picture to the next, I’m going to be annoyed. I have a 400 MBPS connection and if that isn’t working for me, I have some questions (for a lot of people).

I know it can’t be helped but please have your friends test it and see how long it takes for you to load the pictures. I have hundred to applicants to see and a very short window to see them, please help me out here.

Please keep your content mostly appropriate.

A portfolio is anywhere from a casual to a professional representation of yourself and your art. If you have r-18 stuff, please put it under another link or just don’t link me directly to your twitter.

I know a judge who does not like being surprised by that stuff. I know there are warnings on twitter in your bio, but I need to curate this shit so I have to dive into it. But holy fuck dude.

Listen, I have to go through a large number of portfolios (in the 4 digits) in a short amount of time while juggling my day job and other personal obligations. It takes me about 12 seconds to review your portfolio before I review the next one. I see about 5 pictures to get an idea of your skill and then move on--I’M ON A CRUNCH. I’m looking for many, many things. Anatomy, flow, coloring, composition, product type, definitely style, variety, etc. If I’m going to fill up an AA, I’m going to look for variety. It all depends on each judges’ individual taste and the con in general.

I want you to present your best foot forward. Be proud of what you’ve done. Change it up when you’ve reached another level or found another piece you’re proud of. While most of the stuff up there seems obvious, it will doesn’t hurt to review it. It could literally mean a world’s difference between getting in and not getting into an AA. So when you apply, don’t be shy about it. Don’t worry if it’s your first time or 80th time. Just go apply. Have fun.

#drivels drivels #adult drivels #I'm also really proud when I see old displays and newer displays and notice improvement in the art #sometimes it's not you but it's the judges who have very different tastes #keep trying #why am I talking about this you ask?#don't ask #shit i also have to consider marketability in a way #do you accept someone to give them a chance but know they likely won't sell and ruin their time #or deny them and give them some time to improve but possibly crush them #who knows

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gg-astrology · 6 years ago

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Hi gg..how have you been? Are you into asteroid astrology? I'm familiar with asteroids like Chiron, Juno, Ceres but are there any that relate to music/arts or fortune? Do any of the planet placements give insight to arts as well? Sorry if it's too many questions at once! :)

Hey there!! 💕 Thank you for dropping by!! 💕 I’m not that familiar with the more obscure ones… I think I’m still in the process of learning about them, but I did find something interesting that might be relevant to your interests?💕

[Below Cut: Asteroids - Nine Muses ]

Note: I can’t believe this is coming from me but this is a long post so please be warned

There’s this thing called the ‘Nine Muses Asteroids’ that might be what you’re looking for (in terms of arts/music) – the asteroids themselves are daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne (if you scroll down, it might give you a better idea of where it applies).

Since they are muses that– through definition might seem like it applies to the more archaic type of entertainments/artistry, it can still be relevant in our society today.

I think the most significant thing to take from it is that while we may excel at our artistry/expressions (natural talent in such fields) it doesn’t lead us to success/financial wealth in those fields/industry (or it can, this is just something to be wary of but it doesn’t indicate your success/not, you have to do that yourself!💕)

The Nine Asteroids

Kalliope [22]

The asteroid starts with a ‘K’ instead of the ‘C’ it was supposed to be (also: Klio/Clio) – Kalliope is like the General of the muses, she strategizes, take action, blend elements together to create mixture of intelligence and creative expressions together.

I personally think of her similar to Athena in some aspects, although most of these muses are blessed with incredible charm and beauty (in what they reign over) like Aphrodite as well.

With Kalliope, I think of her as sort of a mix between Athena, Aphrodite and Ares. She’s known as the Muse of Epic Poetry, but is also regarded as one of the biggest influence on eloquency, self-assertiveness, wisdom, skills and harmonious influential voice (charm). She’s powerful in her own rights, despite rumours about whether or not she bears children – she teaches them how to use their gift to their benefits.

Kalliope can be associated to writing, singing or the teaching of others of creative skills through her own wisdom and action. She’s great at explaining, and with that is wisdom/action-taking influence she often points to areas in which the individual might find them creatively transforming technical information into something that others can access/enjoy/learn from.

She’s like a story-teller of sorts, she can also indicate dynamic/power or impactful speeches/writings the user utilizes. See where Kalliope is in your chart and if it’s aspecting anything (signs/houses/other placements) to check if it’s taking effect to anything specifically (*orb should be around 1′30 or less)

*If you want a more material example of Kalliope : articles, non-fiction writing pieces, researches/essays, reports/documentaries, journalism pieces, life-reflective art pieces, singing, news reporting, etc.

Erato [62]

Muse of Love Poetry. This is like inspiration (muse) that shifts the narrative, it may come from love/passion for something/someone. Think of eros but with more fever – with Erato, it indicates both the need for space (in order to creativity to transpire) but also ‘freshness’ of love (not infatuation, but really just love).

However, Erato doesn’t always have to indicate (through aspects) that these individuals write/speak about their loved ones (at least not always in synastry). They may however find that they inspire others by their speech, impacting others through their emotionality/passion and the dynamic of their love

(Contrast between Erato and Kalliope is where the inspiration comes from. With Erato it’s often clear that it’s coming from a place of emotional impact– love, inspiration, desire, passion. While Kalliope might talk more about the manifestation/transformation of the technical into self-asserted creativity/impact of the material/subjective forms.)

Nor does Erato indicate that it can be successful venue for work. Although personal popularity might be implied– the individual might have to choose between their love/desire/passion and what it is they have/can do (sort of like being separated from their one true love – if this is badly aspected)

To my understanding, it can also talk about music, writing or the arts (or all three) depending on the user themselves (and what it’s aspected to). It’s more associated with feeling love/passion and creativity for it, rather than the actual action-aspect of the asteroid.

Erato is described as being charming, so this might indicate a harmonious (almost venusian) impact on others as well. She might become the muse to those around her if you think about it like this (in the context of popularity).

*If you want a more material example of Erato: novels, particularly fictional ones that includes themes that may or may not involve adult contents. Mostly though, just an overlying theme of romance in the works themselves.

Euterpe [27] -

Muse of Music, Song, Lyric and Poetry. With Euterpe this is less about harmonious/subdued form of expression (personal popularity) but more about the thrill and joy of expressing the self.

In this case, Euterpe asteroid looks at where the person may experience a desire to give their self-expression at a core level; particularly as a performance or a ‘sharing joy with others’ kind of way (space for it to manifest if it makes sense, I think of her kind of like Artemis in a way).

While Erato may be more personal (sometimes it happens one on one basis) and Kalliope may concern more of the masses (if it’s aspected towards ‘public’ sphere where it can reach it’s audience)– Euterpe doesn’t have a ‘set’ public, it’s more about sharing this self-expression however it can.

Which in our context, can point to self-publishing mediums/hobbies (i.e. youtube, blogposts, twitter, soundcloud etc.)

Euterpe’s role is mainly concerning composition of the arts, the creation stage where you combine both your desire, ability and goals together. It’s an experimental spirit almost, in which if you think about composing a song– you have to mix a few things together and ‘test’ it out until it makes sense for you.

The same applies to writing, where you might follow the ‘progression’ of a story– but the content inside is something of personal interest/dynamic to you and your readers. Euterpe’s role is both experimental in nature (creative freedom) but also and alignment of goals together.

Most of the time, her desires doesn’t have to be traditional. It’s often unconventional or progressive, sometimes can even ‘push’ the envelope a little if that was her desired ‘goal’ she wants to experiment towards.

Another thing to note is that she can sometimes be depicted wearing a laurel wreath, this can indicate the prosperity (and what you might consider ‘success’) or fame if it’s aspected well.

The Aulos (kind of like flute) she plays can also indicate/symbolize the voice of the user being heard at a wider range without them noticing. (*this is just my own interpretation of it). Which– if you take that as popularity/success, can also be indicated if you read how she’s aspected.

*If you want a more material example of Euterpe: musicians, producers, composers, lyricists, DJ, radio hosts, classical musicians to musical performers. Playing in a rock band to youtube covers.

Thalia [23] -

Muse of Comedy. May often offers wit, sharpness of tongue and a keen sense of humor that may throw others off-guard (in a good way) as a form of self-expression.

This makes for a great TV personality (variety shows) as well as personal thinker/trainers who finds inspirational yet unconventional ways to help others achieve their goals.

Thalia’s comedy/sense of wit also talks about the impact of their effect withstanding the test of time. Success in this case may come in being remembered for their phrases/original thinking.

Imagine being between Mars-Jupiter, on one hand she doesn’t hold herself too seriously (thus sometimes she’s depicted as kind of mischievous). She prefers the sharpening her wit/skills with those who truly has skills– not someone’s statues/popularity/fame that got them to her.

Thalia doesn’t talk about popularity through society class or advancement of classes in order to be considered successful, it’s success in terms of getting to flourish in her own ways. To experience and learn and the active sharpening of her skills.

*If you want a more material example of Thalia: comedian, personalities, performers, comedian, sit-com writers, comedy writers, comic writers, cartoonists, satirical writers/pisces

Terpsichore [81] -

Muse of Dance, particularly the range/movement of the body and our ability to interpretate gestures/expressions in subtle charms – whether we’re dancing or not. Her charm lies in how effortlessly she makes it look, as well as her dominion over schoolings over the same discipline as hers.

She made it look effortless because she has mastery over the craft through hard-work/experience.

Terpsichore embodies creative freedom that comes from layers of hard work and control over her own body. In some cases this might also talk about flexibility, agility and the body expressing a translation/interpretation that came from other mediums (into it’s own self-expression).

Terpsichore has subtle charms even when she’s not dancing, it’s a sense of power/charm that comes with innate controlling of the body– maybe through posture or the way they walk that shows adequate/knowledge over their form (a good aspect)

The main thing to remember about Terpsichore is that it’s not always harmonious, the end result may resolve in power/peace– but the path to it is through hard-work/leading the self through those transformation with a focused mind.

Terpsichore doesn’t necessarily indicate solo/independent successes (by itself). Since Terpsichore can often talk about accompanying others with their skills, the Terpsichore may experience successes through collaborations (with a music/muse/artists/sponsor) or within the same group of Terpsichore as them.

*If you want a more material example of Terpsichore: dancer, physiologist, physical therapist, massage therapist, chiropractitioner, fitness trainer, musical director, musical performer, dance teacher/unit, choreographer, producer (*to something physical related, maybe even martial arts), martial artists

Polyhymnia [33] -

Muse of Hymns, Geometry, Meditation, particularly those that may be hidden behind a ‘veil’ of sorts (like in a studio, through a screen/youtube, actors behind camera– as well as rhetoric and mimicry– recitation of lines/roles and critical thinking)

Polyhymnia has many stories to say, residing over songs, patterns, mathematical shapes, contemplation but also agriculture/gardening and spiritual secracy. Often she is known for many things, just the same as the user who may have many different interests.

She may deliver the indicator of someone who may be able to pursue different mediums in their careers, based on a stable ‘pillar’ they’ve built at their core/for themselves (regarding what they want to express).

The main thing about Polyhymnia is that she is less– extroverted than her sister Thalia or even Terpsichore– she’s often a lot more collected, serene, sometimes even meditative in her posture/demeanor.

It talks about strength in the self, that doesn’t have to be necessarily shown off. But through that modesty, also comes many mysterious praise from others around her (deriving from her name).

Because she’s kind of — collected and secretive (without frivolity) she often’s more about the sophisticated arts/thinker between the realm. This makes great actors particularly when they need to ‘break’ into a character/roles, or those who may require to ‘embody a certain emotion’ for their singing.

She also does well for behind the scenes work, such as those running the industries. Writers, producers, poets. Anything that needs a little more control and focused work into the details. She has the gift of diving deeper into things with steady mediation.

Polyhymnia is mostly seen making aspects to those who have been writers in their formative years, because she brings praises– this often indicate successes in which their thinking/mind and the pillars they’ve built for others having been carried through in time. (Past their lifetimes/history)

*If you want a more material example of Polyhymnia: writers, poets, actors, therapists, screen-writers, play-wrights, think-pieces.

Klio [84] -

Muse of History, but most commonly Fame.

I think this might be what you’re pointing to when you mention success, but in Klio’s case it’s more about the immortalization of the person’s work/body of work that makes it through history (or learning from history in order to make success work – it could also indicate the area of which the person may come across fame as well)

The name Klio derives from ‘to make famous’ – thus, the expression in this case isn’t about the artistic but more about the self (non-personal sometimes).

It could talk about the person themselves, or manifestation of marketing/advertising that lead them to fame (by modern association to the term).

Klio celebrates the success of themselves as well as the success of others, it’s a celebration that doesn’t have to do with personal (emotional) satisfaction so much as recognition from others that their work is successful (as a group/whole– think of like those annual award ceremonies)

Klio can talk about academic success, or ‘formal/official’ success if it’s aspected significantly/nicely. Academic texts/studies as well as declaration of the person’s success from others can also be part of what it could indicate (*this is my own interpretation).

*If you want a more material example of Klio: writers, researchers, academics, journalling (creative kind– like Anne Frank or Pliny the Younger who recorded events) poets.

Melpomene [18]

Muse of Tragedy, but in this case it’s more like Thespian in nature than actual tragedy befalling on the person.

Melpomene and the way I interpret her is like the other sister to Erato (to make it easier to think about).

She deals with the manifestation/actualization of the work as well as the self-expression that mirrors the depth of Erato’s passion – but more towards the tragedy-kind (And what comes with it: sadness, anger, disappointment– layers and depth of emotions)

Melpomene is also talented in singing, because she used to be the Muse of Chorus (thus, reflective of those around her/empathetic and uses their expressions to vividly ‘play’ back what they go through for entertainment )

The thing about tragedy is that it’s memorable, comparatively the mundane or certain ‘happiness’ may be less prone to sticking into our conscious than the experience we’ve had when we befallen.

Melpomene doesn’t just indicate learning from the experience, she talks about transforming the pain/mundane/happiness into art that sticks.

Graphics creators (like mood boards/photographs) that sets these solemn moods are part of what might be applied by Melpomene (although it could largely just be another asteroid as well).

But mostly, the ability to inhabit emotional depth of others and use it actively (*important) to transform/translate into our self-expression is where Melpomene’s strength lies.

*If you want a more material example of Melpomene: writers particularly horror/thriller or tragedy (angst)/drama writers. TV series producer/writers, graphic designers (reflects the human psychology) architect/designers, actors, singers, psychologist/therapists or those who works to reflect/help others.

Urania [30] -

Muse of Astronomy which back then is also Astrology, what this indicate is not just the scientific pursuit of knowledge but also the creative interpretation and freedom of such expressions as well.

Urania is the oldest of the daughters, she embodies both wisdom but also unconditional/universal love and patience/love for philosophy.

In a way, think of Urania as part of a universal force. If you put in time to study and really transcend your ideology/expressions into something, she’ll make sure your vibration for the imaginary to transcend material expectations (like that ‘transcending mind’ meme)

She governs mostly in the liberal arts area (as well as the more traditional/entertainment arts) but this might have more to do with the individual minds and the creative pursuit inside one self (similar to the moon, the subconscious/spirituality within the person)

She offers healing/refugee to those in needs (like shelters) and thus– she can often be found in prophetic or sometimes religious individuals.

*If you want a more material example of Urania: spiritual speeches/writing pieces, self-care/self-help, predictive writings, astronomy/astrology,

Alternatively

You can also check:

Melete [56]

Mnemosyne [57]

Bacchus [2063]

Apollo [1862]

(Note: Becareful of Apollo because it can also indicate areas in which you may become obsessive/imbalanced onto something, so that you may have natural talent for/mastery in the area– but that may lead you to ignoring the obvious lessons it’s trying to teach you to have. Be more humble, basically.)

For beginners: check for where Taurus/Pisces/Leo is on your chart, as well as Pars Fortunae and aspects to Pallas if it’s relevant.

This is very broad, but it’ll help with learning how to interpret the basics for someone else as well.

More specific asteroids, try:

Harmonia [40] - Musical talent

Photographica [443] - photographs, visuals, graphic designs

Daedalus [1896] - designers, craftmanship, architect (*but also be cautious, because Daedalus was the one who created wings for Icarus’s flight)

Poesia [946] - poetry, lyrical thinker (musing), composers

If you have any signs/indicators pointing towards these, please be sure to check the aspects being made with it. This is important because it can point to success as well as oppositions, so make sure to take note of those.

The Nine Muses might help you understand the direction/creative force that you’re being pushed towards, but you make the choice on what you want to pursue. It’s indicating talent/vocation that will help you in your career/muse so use it to your benefit. 💕

Also sorry for the long explanation and notes. There’s really no way out of this. To really understand the asteroids you might have to look up at the lore and study the characterization of these daughters, they all symbolize similar messages – but the way they embody them is different.

How To Read

Try to see if these asteroids lands in important areas of your life (houses) and what aspect it’s making to your axis (ASC/MC) or your planets (within a 1′30 orb preferably)

It could also indicate other people’s musical-artistic influences on you (i.e. it’s aspecting your IC) and also you may become a muse to others as well. Make sure to read aspects thoroughly.

Ending Ment

I know this is very long and lengthy and probably doesn’t make much sense. But I hope you can gain something out of it ;; Honestly I’m not too strong on this topic as well, so definitely try to study on the asteroids yourself as well if you have time 💕

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rapperkookz · 6 years ago

Photo

Rush!BTΣ — college!au, borderline crack au w/ @cynoirsure

 a story about three friends and their obstacles of relationships, academic probation, and figuring out that international kids aren’t all that bad.

 22/35 

word count: 2.8K

 genre: fluff  

warnings: swearing

—

 Narrator’s POV

Seokjin squinted at his texts, reading them once more as he walked over to the music school. It was already kind of suspicious that Jinhee was out practicing late considering the girl never practices and only uses the practice rooms to get away from people. It was also weird that Yoongi opted to practice this late when Seokjin knew very well that he loved his sleep and his cat so he never made plans past 10 unless it was a Beta Tau party. After getting out of the elevator to the practice rooms, Seokjin pursed his lips, scanning his own ID in order to open the doors to the practice chambers. No one outside of the music major could have access to the practice rooms unless they were enrolled in a music course so Seokjin was thankful that he picked up that guitar class as a blowoff course for his last semester, although he could play guitar pretty well.

Seokjin walked through the halls of the practice rooms, his senses heightened. Given the fact that most of the practice rooms had no light on or there was someone packing up to leave, he felt that anyone could sneak up on him and scare the living daylights out of him. Seokjin sighed, reaching the dead end of the practice chambers. He still didn’t hear anything, the only sound that he had heard along the way was some low brass fudging through a Hank Mobley piece that’s played every year at the jazz showcase.

His nose crinkled. If his best friend and his line brother weren’t in the practice rooms, then where could they be? Something clicked in Seokjin’s head. Maybe they were back in Yoongi’s dorm doing god knows wh— Seokjin turned on heels, immediately beginning to make his way out of the practice chambers and over to the elevators in order to go barge into Yoongi’s dorm to catch them in the act. It wasn’t until he got to the elevators that he heard a whine coming from a classroom adjacent to the practice rooms.

 “Yoongi, I tried! Stop clocking me for these small things!” Seokjin had never been so thankful that his soulmate was loud. He followed the younger’s voice to a nearby classroom, whatever creaking that would’ve been caused by the music school’s floors covered by the youngest’s protests. He looked through the patio-like glass doors to see his soulmate and his best friend in front of one of the whiteboards with a music staff on it, two different colored music notes written on it. The composition in blue was a lot more neat than the other one written in black, so he could point out Jinhee’s writing compared to Yoongi’s easily. It looked as if they were doing some macroanaylsis work for music theory, Yoongi testing Jinhee on her skills.

 “I’m not being mean. You got this wrong, it’s a secondary dominant, not a major minor second inversion.” Yoongi put the correct answer on the board, Jinhee only crossing her arms and scrunching her face in a similar way to how Seokjin does when he’s fake upset. He could only tell the girl wasn’t upset since her soft eyes betrayed the rest of her seemingly upset expression. Yoongi clicked his tongue at the whiteboard, making a large circle around one of Jinhee’s notes. “Come on, Jinhee. You’re smarter than this, aren’t you? A careless mistake such as a parallel octave? That doesn’t even make sense for the next chord! You really just want the tenors to make that large jump don’t you? Their line doesn’t even move around all that much in the first place.”

 “WELL TENORS DON’T DESERVE SHIT MIN YOONGI, BASSES ARE THE SUPERIOR RACE!” Jinhee exclaimed loudly, making Yoongi flinch at the way she suddenly raised her voice. Seokjin also jumped in the hallway just slightly, before he realized what Jinhee had said to him.

 “Wait Jinhee, isn’t Seokjin a tenor?”  

“And what about it? Seokjinie can suck my toes.” Yoongi scrunched his nose at this statement, tilting his head confusedly at how Jinhee had switched over from Korean to say that last sentence in English. “What? The sentence doesn’t translate right in Korean.”

 “… I guess so.” Was all Yoongi had to say back, going back to grading her analysis. “Well, luckily those were the only two mistakes this time around. Good job, Jinhee.” Yoongi patted her head, her expression brightening.

 “Oh thank god! Thank you so much for helping me out with this! I was super stumped on this for like the last few days and I have a quiz like, tomorrow on this.” Jinhee’s smile brightened, going in to hug him. Yoongi’s ears turned red, awkwardly patting her back when he noticed the clock.

 “Ah, it’s 11:30, we should get going soon, yeah?” Yoongi pulled away first (much to his own dismay, as well as Jinhee’s), the younger one turning to the clock and nodding. “Don’t want you being late to your 7AM.” Yoongi added on as an afterthought, making her laugh a little.

 “I mean, I don’t sleep anyways so I guess it’s fine?” Jinhee went over to her bag, shoving the manuscript staff paper back into her bag. She stilled for a quick second and Seokjin almost thought his cover was busted because she was looking out the classroom. He tried to look closer at her without revealing his spot, a blank stare in her eyes instead of one of intent. He exhaled silently, watching her pull out a repurposed Starbucks bag decorated with hand drawn cherry blossom petals and wrapped with a red ribbon. “Hey, Yoon…” Jinhee’s nickname for the pianist almost fell from her lips, “..gi?” Jinhee turned to the older man, her hands hiding the gift behind her back.

 Yoongi perked up from where his bag was, tilting his head. “Hm, what’s up, Jinhee?” Yoongi scanned her for anything weird, Jinhee walking towards him and tipping back and forth on her feet when she stopped far enough for Yoongi to still have personal space, but close enough that they only had a few steps before either one of them could collide into the other. Seokjin could see the telltale signs of nervousness written all over Jinhee, the youngest one turning a light shade of pink.

 “W-well, I just really wanted to thank you? For everything, at this point, but mostly the fact that you’ve been a really great accompanist and a great tutor for theory as well…” Jinhee reached up to run a hand through her hair, her other arm moving to show him the gift bag. “So I got you a little something?”

 Yoongi’s eyes widened, accepting the gift that was extended out to him. “It’s nothing, really, is it okay if I open it now?” With the confirmation of Jinhee in the form of a small nod, Yoongi peeked into the bag. Staring back at him were two highly sought after MIDI controllers, the OP-1 and the OP-Z in mint condition. His jaw dropped in shock, eyes going up to Jinhee and then back at the controllers. “How’d you know I wanted these two? Also, these cost a fortune, how’d you manage to buy these?” Yoongi picked up the bigger controller, shocked at the condition of it.

 Jinhee only smiled shyly, looking down. “Oh, I think I saw you talking about it on your Twitter the other day? Also my friend was selling them for ₩793,000 so I just bought it off of him.” Seokjin snorted inwardly at this statement, remembering how a few weeks ago, Jinhee lazily pulled out her black card and propped it up against her laptop, casually adding both devices to the online shopping cart while they were doing homework on the couch in his apartment.

–

 “Seokjinie, is ordering both the OP-1 and OP-Z like… Overkill? Or should I just get one? I mean it’s only $2000 after shipping?” Jinhee bit her lip, looking up at Seokjin and then back at her screen. She threw her head back, laying on his lap and groaning. “God I mean… The OP-Z is like almost out of stock so it’s totally okay to get one, right? I’m gonna buy both.” Jinhee nodded, typing in her home address and her card number.

 Seokjin looked at her bewildered, mouth gaping like a fish. “Choi Jinhee, how much is that in KRW?” Seokjin watched as she pressed order, the younger one shrugging as she sat up to put her card away in her wallet. She hummed for a quick moment while putting her card away, looking over at him.  “Uh, ₩2,267,760? Not that mu–”

 “Do not finish that sentence. Why are you spending so much money on equipment? You don’t even compose and you barely passed music tech.” Seokjin pointed accusingly, Jinhee only laughing uncomfortably.

 “O-oh… Haha um…” Jinhee stalled, but it was only a few seconds before Seokjin realized where he had heard of the equipment that Jinhee had just bought.

 “Jinhee. Did you buy all of that for Min Yoongi after seeing him tweet about wanting new equipment, specifically those two MIDI controllers this morning?” Seokjin shook his head. “Just confess to him and suck his dick already, you’re so whipped for him.”

 “Oh my god, shut UP Seokjinie!” Jinhee whined, covering her face in embarrassment. “Also please don’t tell him! I swear this is the only gift I’ve gotten for him! I swear I’m still a broke bit–”  

“Don’t lie, you literally just pulled out a black card??”

 “SEOKJIN, seriously! I will do anything for you to play along with this, please?”  “Pay for my college debt and use honorifics around me all the time instead of whenever you want something from me, you brat.” Seokjin grinned, much to Jinhee’s dismay. She shut her laptop and placed it on the coffee table, groaning as she fell back into his lap.

 “I’m already kinda helping out with that first one, and the second one, over my dead body.”

 –  

“This is seriously unbelievable, I could kiss you right now… Is that okay…? Can I kiss you?”

Yoongi’s voice brought Seokjin back to reality, the question itself shocking both Seokjin and Jinhee. God, if this was how Yoongi confesses to Jinhee, Seokjin cringed a little. Yoongi had more class than that, right? Jinhee was silent for a little, her heart and mind racing with a million and one thoughts. She considered all the possible outcomes before deciding one kiss—with the person she’d been crushing on lowkey for almost 4 months—wouldn’t hurt.

 “I-I mean, sure?” Seokjin fumbled for his phone, checking about 5 times if his ringer was off before positioning the camera to point at the scene before him. In the classroom, Yoongi cupped Jinhee’s pink cheeks that almost matched her hair, leaning in for a small kiss that ended as quickly as it began. Seokjin was lucky enough to catch a picture, a quiet victory as he walked to the elevators to catch a ride down. He trusted that Yoongi could keep Jinhee in good company walking back to their dorms, so he just hummed softly to himself, riding the elevators down to go back to his apartment.

 “Do you wanna head back together, Jinhee? It’s late so…” Yoongi shrugged his backpack on, the singer shouldering the cross body bag. Jinhee shook her head.

 “No no, it’s okay! I just remembered that I need to make copies for a class, you can go on ahead! Besides, if a creep comes up on me, I’ll just hit them with my hydroflask.” Jinhee grinned at Yoongi, holding up her water bottle. Yoongi only nodded almost skeptically, but knowing she wouldn’t budge, he reached for the door.

 “Okay, well text me when you get back to your dorm, yeah? See you later, Jinhee.” Yoongi nodded to her, earning a smile and wave from her as he opened the door. As soon as the door closed, Jinhee let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding, pulling out her earbuds and picking a song to play while she walked along the lake walk for a little.

 “Ah, seriously, why does life have to be like this…” The girl made her way down with the elevator, walking along the lakefront. It wasn’t long before she spotted two familiar figures, a grin spreading on her lips before she lightly jogged over to them. “Tae! Kev!”

 The couple looked up at the pink haired girl walking over to them, wiggling in the process as she usually did when she saw someone she knew. “Oh? Miss Choi Jinhee? What are you doing out this late?” Kevin raised his eyebrow at his best friend. “You didn’t work tonight, did you?”

 “No, I was rehearsing with Yoon!” Jinhee smiled, but immediately regretted telling the two because they started wiggling their brows at her. “You two are gross and so mean to me! I’m gonna head back to my dorm so goodnight!! Have fun on your date or whatever!!” Jinhee immediately followed up, storming past the two.  

Kevin only laughed at her reaction, him and Taehyung walking past campus to the beach nearby. “Choi Jinhee is such a character, isn’t she?” Taehyung joked lightly, following Kevin to the rocks on the point of the beach.

The nights were getting warmer, signaling the end of the very long winter in Korea and the beginning of summer. Kevin helped Taehyung sit on the large rocks that loomed over the edge of the water, the water itself being at low tide so it barely touched either of the boys as they dangled their feet over the edge. Taehyung had gone silent after that, looking over the lake. He leaned into Kevin, sighing a little.

 “Kev, what are your plans for the future? I know we were talking it the other day, but I don’t think you ever got to answer before Jungkookie and y/n had their sexual tension bleeding into the group chat.” Taehyung joked a little, watching how the moon reflected over the lake. He closed his eyes, listening to his favorite sounds around him, the melodious sounds of the waves and the slow breathing of his boyfriend. Kevin hummed, his hand coming to play with one of Taehyung’s.  

“Me? I want to become an anesthesiologist.” Tae pouted a little, his eyes making contact w the younger one who was only smiling a little by telling his dreams to his boyfriend.

 “Is there space for me in your future, too?” Taehyung asked quietly, the hand that Kevin was playing with tensing for a slight moment. He stroked the bigger hand softly, smiling.  

“Of course, why wouldn’t there be?” Kevin’s other hand ran a finger through Taehyung’s hair, the boy falling silent in his arms. Kevin stopped, sitting up properly and sitting Taehyung up as well so that they were making eye contact. “Are you okay, Tae?”

 Taehyung was refusing to make eye contact with Kevin, which only made the younger one anxious. “… My parents are coming to visit in a few weeks and I want you to meet them.” Taehyung exhaled, finally making eye contact with Kevin. Kevin’s eyes widened a little in surprise, his mouth forming a little o.  “Actually?” Kevin blinked, stroking Taehyung’s cheek. Taehyung nodded, leaning into Kevin’s touch with a little pout.

 “They don’t really know that I’m out yet, but I mean… They love me so much and maybe if I show them how happy I am with you and that it’s not just an act, they won’t be disproving of me being bi…? You know how Asian parents are, and it doesn’t change even if I’m from overseas and from Paris, the biggest LGBT+ community in Europe. I’m just scared they won’t accept that I like boys as well as girls…” Taehyung’s eyes became distant once more, the worry evident in his face which only made Kevin frown. Kevin leaned in to leave two kisses on the apples of Taehyung’s cheeks, which brought him back to meet Kevin’s eyes.

 “Don’t be scared, okay? I’d love to meet your parents, if they’re as lovely as you tell me they are.” Kevin smiled, stroking Taehyung’s cheek where he had just kissed it. The two fell into silence, one that didn’t seem awkward or stiff. Taehyung rearranged himself, pulling away from Kevin’s endearing hold. His knees awkwardly bumped into Kevin’s before he reverted back into his old position of sitting inbetween Kevin’s legs, leaning back into his chest.

 “… Thank you for loving me, Kev.” Taehyung’s gratitude was quiet, but didn’t go unnoticed by Kevin. The younger one could only smile, his hands that were once at Taehyung’s side supporting him tilting Taehyung’s head to the side so he could dip down and kiss his temple.  

“I love you, you know that? You mean the world to me.” Kevin stifled a yawn, swaying the older one in his arms. “I think we should start heading back, yeah? It’s late.”

Taehyung nodded, swinging his feet over so that he was leaning towards land, his feet landing in the soft sand. Kevin landed right beside him, extending his hand to Taehyung. The older one’s hand slid comfortably into Kevin’s, the both of them gently swinging their arms while they headed back to their dorm.

 4-15-19

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alexswak · 6 years ago

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From Castlevania to Boruto: Spencer Wan Interview

I myself had all sorts of questions after watching Castlevania, and seeing that Spencer Wan was so active on Twitter I thought I might try asking him, what resulted in a long interview. The scene he is best known for is the abstract black-lines-only part of the opening, but he had remarkable participations in many other known projects despite his young age. Other than Castlevania, where he animated, AD’ed and directed episodes even, he also worked on Boruto and Invader Zim among others. My notes are in bold. Conducted on behalf of AnimeTherapy and originally posted on their website.

First tell me a bit about yourself and how you started with animation.

Spencer: You know, that might be the only question I wasn’t prepared to answer. I’m not great at talking about myself. Okay, I’m 25 years old and I’m from a small town in the Deep South. I got into animation after seeing Norio Matsumoto’s work on Naruto. I used to watch it with my friends in high school and I’d never seen anything like it before. I’d intended to major in illustration when I got into college, but I ended up swapping to animation at the last second because I couldn’t get his work out of my head. I thought maybe I could learn how to make animation like that at school.

Where did you start your professional career and how?

Spencer: So after I dropped out of school I spent a year sort of just wandering around and doing very little with my life. I was having a hard time finding any sort of work, let alone artistic work. I ended up working in a tire shop for a while, actually. Dana Terrace was the one who dragged me out of that. She’s the creator of the show I’m working on now(The Owl House). I’d helped her with one of her student films when we were in school, and she was doing way better than me as a professional artist. She gave me a sort of a pep talk and told me about this animation studio called Animation Domination High Def that was looking for animators.

It's worth mentioning that there aren't very many studios in the United States that hire traditional(hand-drawn) animators anymore. We were even told in school not to pursue traditional animation as a career because those jobs didn't exist. Anyway, I applied the next day, they had me do an animation test, and few weeks later I moved across the country to work for them.

The work I did there was very different from the work people expect from me now. It was mostly parody cartoons, and we had to animate 2-3 scenes a day so it was hard to make anything look very good. It was a difficult job, and it wasn't what I wanted to be doing with animation, but it taught me how to draw very fast.

An interesting backstory, really. So you stuck with traditional animation because you wanted to create something like what Matsumoto makes?

Spencer: That's how I started anyway, but he was just my first exposure to this sort of animation. When I got older I came across the work of Yutaka Nakamura, Mitsuo Iso, Toshiyuki Inoue, etc. They're all incredible in different ways, but I could feel that they were also drawing on something similar. There's a sort of feeling I used to get looking at the work of a really talented Japanese animator, and I really wanted my work to illicit that same feeling.

It would've been a lot easier to change tracks to storyboarding or design. I had enough technical skill to do it, and there were many more opportunities available, but I stuck with traditional animation because I was chasing that feeling. I knew I couldn't be satisfied as an artist until I understood it.

Alright, now to more specific stuff. How did you get involved in Castlevania?

Spencer: Well after working at ADHD, I ended up moving away from LA because I couldn't find anyone who wanted to hire me for animation. I went back to my hometown and spent a year freelancing for scraps. I actually tried to go to Japan for work at one point, but my visa was rejected because I'm a college dropout. It was around this time that Sam(Samuel Deats), the future director of Castlevania, had been emailing me to try to get me to work for Powerhouse. Actually, I rejected him the first time and tried to get my visa through again…

Obviously that didn't work out, so I told Sam I'd changed my mind and I moved to Texas to work for Powerhouse. He'd been telling me the whole time about this awesome secret project the studio might acquire soon. I completely wrote him off because as a freelancer you hear that sort of thing all the time and it's never as good as it sounds. That project was Castlevania. It ended up getting greenlit after I'd been working at the studio for a couple months. Sam plucked me off the animation team to work on it and I started storyboarding on the first episode. It was actually my first time storyboarding, so naturally I was given the scene where the crowd gets attacked by an army of creatures in an elaborate gothic city.

I see. Then can you give me a quick overview of the workflow the staff followed while working on Castlevania? From finished storyboards to finished scenes. I'm interested in the workflow you followed since Castlevania is obviously not your run-of-the-mill project.

Spencer: *laughs* Well in season one it was a constantly changing process. Powerhouse had never handled a TV show before, and so we were sort of creating the process as the show went on. We didn't even manage to standardize our storyboarding process until episode 4. Our background team doubled as our incidental and prop design team, with one of the background artists serving as a part time storyboarder. Sam was the director, but he was also storyboarding and designing all the main characters. His brother Adam, who's meant to be supervising compositor, became our editor. It was all over the place, but it allowed for a lot of experimentation. That's how I came to animate on the show instead of just storyboarding.

I'm getting kind of off topic though- the way it would usually work is that we'd receive an approved script and we'd have a few weeks to storyboard it. We didn't have any revisionists working with us, so if there was a problem, we'd address it ourselves and then Adam would cut together an animatic and add sound. It's worth mentioning that we didn't have any voice acting to work with in season 1, so we sort of had to guess at how the actors would read their lines.

After the animatic was approved we would ship it along with the designs and key backgrounds to MUA Film, our outsourcing studio in Korea. And then in some specific instances we would leave a note telling them to exclude a sequence, because Sam or I had planned to animate it ourselves. After storyboarding was done I jumped right onto animation. We were working with a pencil and paper animation studio, so even though I work digitally, I would have to write x-sheets(equivalent to time sheets in anime) for my work as if I'd drawn it on paper. At some point in the process we decided we wanted to do a much more specific compositing job on the show, and so we had the studio ship us back their cleaned and colored animation, and our in house compositing team would polish it with a mountain of after effects work. A lot of why the show looks so cinematic is because of them.

So I take it this is how it went with the average scene. But your scene in the OP, that got a lot of attention, is clearly exceptional. Can you tell me more about how you came up with this style and scene? Personally I have to admit, it’s one of the best and most striking animation pieces I have seen in a while.

Spencer: Thanks! We really slaved over that opening. It actually wasn't meant to exist- there was no time or budget set aside for it. Sam had done the storyboards for it in his free time and pitched them to the producers. They said we could do it if we could somehow find time for it. I think Sam originally intended to handle the entire thing himself, but when the time came to animate it, I was the only one available. So Sam pulled me into his office and showed me the storyboards, specifically the part at the end. He said something to the effect of, "I know I want this to look like fire. You can do it in whatever style you come up with, as long as it's done quickly." Never in my career had someone put so much trust in me. A lot of people like to compare the sequence to the music video for Take On Me, but when I was trying to come up with the style, the first thing that came to mind was one of Yutaka Nakamura's animations. It's from an anime I watched in high school called Soul Eater where the character goes to draw his sword, and the entire scene turns into this abstract looking sort of river of pencil lines on a red background(this scene). I thought maybe I could do something similar to that. It took me about an hour to realize I couldn't do it the same way, and my imitation of it was coming out far too abstract to tell what was going on. I ended up doing another pass on it, but instead of trying to copy Nakamura's abstract linework, I tightened up the drawings focused on the shadows. I thought I could try to mimic the look of how light shifts around on an ember, and that's where I got the shadows that constantly roll across the characters. The finished result still bears a lot of his influence, but I think I managed to put my own spin on it.

I remember that Soul Eater scene! Now that you mention it, I can definitely see similarities. But the Take on Me? Not really. How much time did you spend on that scene, if I may ask?

Spencer: It was something like two weeks? I don't remember that well anymore. I worked entirely through the last four nights, so it felt longer than that. I remember losing an hour to daylight savings time, and that put me in a really foul mood.

I've never mentioned this before, but it's unfinished. I ran out of time in the end, and so the part with Trevor and Sypha is just my rough first pass. I was devastated when we shipped it that way. At the time I considered it to be my biggest failure as an artist. Ironically it's the piece of work I'm known best for now.

youtube

Sypha's scene in the 2nd season is also yours right? Glad to see the same style made it into the show.

Spencer: Adam had wanted to have it in the show for a while, and I really didn’t want to do it. I was so upset about the opening before it aired that I swore I would never draw in that style again. But then the opportunity presented itself and I thought, “Well I guess it would only be for a second or so”. I felt the second time I did it it was a lot less inspired though.

Can't complain myself, it was pretty cool.

Spencer: Well I had more experience the second time *laughs*. I didn’t have to feel around for what the style was.

So moving on. The problem with your Alucard fight scene, that you had problems translating your digital motion guides into paper, you said that also happened for the Cyclops sequences. How widespread was this problem then? Did it only affect your work or the work of other animators as well?

Spencer: It would only affect animations that had large camera movements, that we sent overseas for clean up. It was a problem born from the fact that we don’t really do paper animation in America anymore.

When the camera moves around a lot, the field has to get bigger. You have to use something called panning paper in order for the drawings to maintain a proper size for clean up. But there was no one that I could learn that from. I had to teach everything to myself, and so my first instinct was to make the drawings smaller to fit them on the page. The clean up artists overseas fixed this by scaling the drawings up, but then they had to recreate my spacing from scratch and they didn’t have enough time to do it the same way. The result was that drawings would pop anywhere from a few pixels to a few millimeters out of position all the time. Adam ended up respacing everything, but it wasn’t a perfect match to the original, so drawings tend to pop around. Most people don’t notice it though.

Actually I’ve had a similar issue with other productions where if my spacing gets too tight, there’s a chance a drawing could pop out of place too. I’m still learning how to solve some of those problems.

I see! Shame you found yourself in this situation, but this is a nice segue to another traditional project I want to ask you about, Boruto. You worked on Boruto a few months ago, episode #65 specifically. How did you get involved in this project? You were an interesting case because you are not affiliated with studio LAN like most of other foreign animators in that episode, as far as I know at least.

Spencer Wan: *laughs* I could see why it seemed a little out of nowhere. It's because Chengxi and I had already been talking on twitter for a while. I consider him a close friend. He asked me to animate for him and I agreed. It was as simple as that.

Looking at your original work and the final version in Boruto, I see that it went mostly uncorrected. Why is that? Were you just given a lot of freedom in that episode? Because of Chengxi and your aforementioned good relation with him?

Spencer: Oh, it was nothing like that. I was a lot more concerned with doing the work properly than trying to stand out or show off. Chengxi's storyboards and the model sheets for Boruto were very clear. I followed them to the best of my ability, and my work ended up going uncorrected aside from a light fill being added. I should've anticipated the need for that light fill, actually. I wasn't thinking about how it would look in color.

Boruto is more of a traditional animation(paper) show, right? Didn't you have problems with that this time? I'm not too knowledgeable when it comes to Boruto specifically, so I don't know how much of its production is digitalized.

Spencer: The process was actually very similar to what I used on Castlevania, only this time there was no complicated camera movement to worry about, and I had Chengxi to help me with parts of the paper process that I didn't fully grasp yet. Some of the other foreign animators helped me out too- namely Guzzu. It was my first time not having to figure it all out on my own, and I was really grateful for that. I feel I learned a lot.

You are right, the nature of this scene is different. I thought maybe it was the Japanese industry being more used to this dual nature of digital and paper. So generally working on Boruto, although a Japanese show, wasn’t different from Castlevania and other shows you worked on before?

Spencer: There are differences in style when it comes to x-sheets. For example, the Korean x-sheets I've written list the layer order completely backward from the Japanese ones used on Boruto. Americans will write "truck out" when they want the camera to pull out, but the Japanese shorthand is apparently T.B for "track back" instead. It's a lot of differences like that, but the idea behind them is mostly the same. It was an adjustment, but not a very big one, and I was told I did an alright job writing them... I hope they weren't just being nice.

I was just watching Castlevania and now that you mentioned him, Chengxi did some animation! Also others such as Hero. Were you the one who invited them this time?

Spencer: I was the one who invited Chengxi. Sam invited the others after I’d left the production.

And you inviting Chengxi and working on #7 was after boruto, I suppose?

Spencer: Actually it was beforehand! He had to cut his work short to start working on Boruto. He did such a brilliant job regardless. That guy is a genius.

Aha, interesting. That was the last of my questions, I'm very grateful for the chance you gave me and for your amazing, detailed answers!

Spencer: No problem! I hope my answers weren’t too boring. That technical stuff can get dense.

#Spencer Wan #Castlevania #Boruto #Interview

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artinterviewmagazine · 6 years ago

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Conversation With Taj Bourgeois On Selling Their Paintings Online For A Living

Marius Larsson: So first of all how long have you been selling paintings? About 2 years now? Taj Bourgeois: Yeah I quit my job driving taxi in December so a little over 2 years. I had a week where I made negative $70 and that was that. I had to do something different. ML: What made you think you could make it as an artist, and how did you initially get started? TB: I didn’t think I could make it lol, but also felt like it might be my last chance to give it my all. If I didn’t at least try once in my life I was concerned I’d feel like a hypocrite if I were to tell my daughter to follow her dreams. Pretty much I just posted on Facebook “Would anyone like to commission a painting?”. I got five responses, one of which was for $600. Honestly I don’t know if I would’ve felt the drive to commit if it weren’t for that, but also my strategy was and has been basically to just make paintings everyday, so people would see I was taking it seriously and in turn take me seriously. ML: And had you been painting much prior? TB: I had made like 7 or 8 paintings in the months leading up to it, so people were aware what I was getting into and I guess displaying some level of skill. Prior to that I hadn’t really painted since around the time my daughter was born in 2012. ML: What kinds of things did you start off painting? TB: In 2012 or in the months before doing it full time? ML: Tell me about 2012, why you took a break for 4 years and then what got you back into it in 2016. TB: When I found out I was going to be a father I had been in college for just a couple semesters taking random art classes. I was just there for the school loans... ya know.. didn’t want to get a job. Anyway I was in a painting class, and it was pretty much my first time painting. I watched the Basquiat documentary “The Radiant Child”, and it made me think about painting in a very different way. A few months after my daughter was born and I won a couple awards for paintings I did for the college’s annual art show. Then I enrolled at the Pacific Northwest College of Art for the Fall semester, but by that point I was learning about hundreds of artist’s on my own time, and was becoming inspired to try all kinds of things other than painting. I felt I did so well that semester that I decided college wasn’t going to be a good use of time or money, so I dropped out and just followed my train of thought for the next 4 years which led back to painting. ML: How did it lead back to painting? TB: I had been driving taxi for a year and a half, and during that time I felt more and more disconnected from any of my previous modes of art making. I was pretty much sitting in the cab making memes and digital collages. Toward the end the collages I was doing started to become more refined, and I started thinking about the merits of painting the imagery I was putting together. The first thing I painted after all that time was an image of flaming goose which was a meme that had been going around. I decided to painted it very large. It was just something I thought would help test the waters again, and also something I figured I’d like to have on my wall. Of course painting a giant meme is going to get a good response online, so I did a couple more, and then painted some scenes from photos, and then from my imagination. Tried to paint the collages I had made but didn’t quite feel right to try to change their medium. ML: Ok so you had a few commissions and then what? You’d post your paintings for sale and people just kept buying them? TB: Yeah although the first 6 months were pretty rough. In April I only made $500, so I was cutting it close, but I was still in the mindset that most artists have, which is like their art has some mysterious value to it and should be expensive, but then I realized it would make more sense if I took it more seriously as a job and charge by the hour, so I started painting more small funny stuff. Like for me it made more sense to sell a bunch of little humorous $50 pieces than cross my fingers on a $300 piece cause it would take me the same amount of time to do 6 of the $50 ones. It wasn’t until around 6 months that I made my first piece that multiple people wanted, and so what I did was make it multiple times, and that’s when things started to pick up. ML: And what was that piece? TB: It was spider man on the floor of an art museum looking up at a painting of a goofy fish with a human face, and spider man is saying in a thought bubble “That Painting Looks The Way I Feel!” It was originally from an old comic and spider man had been looking at some kind of parody Picasso portrait, but you know with memes pieces get replaced, and the mood changes. The fish’s face was a better mood than the Picasso probably.

ML: How many paintings had you made by that point? TB: Around 70, but had sold maybe 20 ML: What materials were you using? TB: During the taxi days I was in the store (Fred Meyer) and saw this canvas that house painters just lay on the floor to catch the paint drips, and I was like damn 4x15ft for $13? I should get some in case I feel up to making some big paintings someday, but I have always been such a frugal person that it wasn’t until I saw the apple barrel brand paints that I was like damn ok lemme just buy a couple of every color and see if I’m into this. I also bought a gallon of white house paint to “gesso” the canvas. I still use this method on big pieces, and can always stretch later, but lately have been buying a lot of canvas already prepped and stretched. ML: So do you only sell through Facebook and Instagram? TB: Yes oddly enough that’s like 95% of sales. A few every now and then from irl shows where I live here in Portland (Oregon).

ML: I want to go back to something for a second. You mentioned you started painting in 2012, but then you won a couple awards a few months later. How old were you. How did you excel so quickly considering you said you hadn’t painted prior and what were those painting? TB: I was 24. I think painting is one of those mediums where “ability” is far more subjective than most things. You can view enough of it without trying it yourself to the point that when you do try you’ll already have a grasp of it. I have been interested in painting my whole life, so picking up the brush I already had thousands of hours of experience just thinking about it ya know, so like with that show at the college I knew I wanted to make something big and bold. So I cut myself a 4x7ft canvas and ended up making this multi-colored deer looking straight ahead with sort of hypnotic gaze. That was a people’s choice award, and the other got me a scholarship offer, but for that one I basically had just copied Twombly lol.

ML: How would you describe your style today? TB: Hmm I try not to, cause I try all kinds of stuff. I feel my technical skill level is mediocre but maybe my creative level is high? Different people are going to appreciate different things, and I’ve always been more interested in what the painting depicts over how it’s made. I mean skill aside I think most paintings are pretty umm I want to say “derivative” haha are people still using that word in serious? I’m having fun though, staying curious, and I think that comes across. What’s the point of describing my “style” anyway?

ML: I’m curious about how you view your own work. TB: I view my own work with my own eyes lol. I view my art like a loving father or maybe more like an observer, a bird watcher? No, ok I think I understand this question now. My approach to painting is often like a mix of writing, drawing, and making memes. Often I have the idea and it doesn’t really matter how I get there unless the technique is the content itself as with a lot of abstract art. Like, I will entirely base a painting on a sentence describing the image itself with little concern about how i will make it. Like “a shuriken stuck in the back of a smiling man”, so I’ll paint some sky, a fence, some grass, blue jeans, man has no shirt, shuriken, blood, he’s holding a beer, he’s smiling alright i did it… nice. That’s one way I view my work as a route to an image. I used to do this all the time before painting. I have an art book from 2015 where I used this method a lot like I’d write down ideas, and then go out and make them happen. Some elements of the end result were arbitrary although I always tried to have good composition and quality documentation. I didn’t think of myself as a photographer though I certainly was and was good at that aspect too, but it was more the means to document my performance, sculpture, installation… sentence made real. I also view a good portion of my paintings as elaborate pages ripped from children’s books that don’t exist (yet) and they’re filled with weird cute characters I never really had any intention to keep making in the first place, but I’m still doing it for some reason maybe because I like the idea of an overarching narrative, but mostly I think cause they give me a deep nostalgia for illustrations in picture books I saw as a kid or like panels from graphic novels.

ML: That answer is all over the place! I guess that’s what i get for asking such a broad question, but there’s a lot to work with there. Tell me about being a Father. You said it was kind of the catalyst to start making art. How do you think it’s affected your work? TB: Naturally it changed everything. Before my daughter was born I was just so much more aloof, timid, uncertain about making anything. I’d spend so many days just floating around “hanging out” drinking, smoking etc. Maybe I’d draw a little, write a little, play some music, but always felt like I was just killing time waiting for something to happen, and then it did. Suddenly I felt obligated to be at home most of the time, ya know, like a good dad. Other than that I was still in school making the most of it for the short time being. So for that first year I was either home with her or at school. I was just making stuff every day all the time, and it became an insatiable habit especially once I started sharing it online. Yeah honestly I felt the pressure was on. Like I had waited too long to pursue my passions so I had to make up for lost time. I’ve been addicted to making and sharing things everyday ever since. As for my daughter’s influence, yeah I love watching her grow and the things she makes inspire me as well. I’m a bit of a romantic when it comes to modern art and its mythos. I still vibe off what picasso said about how it took him his whole life to paint like a child, so I feel really grateful to work with her. I have literally thousands of her drawings stacked all over the place. She’ll sit down and do fifty drawings in an hour so I’ve gotten a white board lol. Also like I mentioned before it was kind of insane of me to quit my job to become a painter, like I have a kid, rent, bills, a car, and I’m just going to suddenly start painting happy devils to pay for all that? Well, yeah it felt like my last chance to make my dreams a reality. I just wanted to be able to say I did my best and tried to make it work, for myself, and to be a role model in that sense as well. So far so good.

ML: There seems be a big disparity between artists who make a living off their work and artists who don’t, and what I mean is that when you think of an artist making a living off their work you usually think either they have gallery representation, some kind of branding, or business making the same kinds of things again and again, and yet you seem to have been able to find some middle ground and do all of those things without a business, a degree, or a gallery. What’s it been like overall/how is it going? TB: I still got my foodstamp card haha, but to be honest things are better than ever. I don’t know I just keep at it every day. My belief has been that if I just keep making stuff the right people will notice. I’ve never submitted my work anywhere or asked for opportunities. I let them come to me. I just want to make the art not deal with the other stuff. If a big gallery wants to make money off me they most certainly will but for now I’ve just been doing small independent spaces, and cafe’s which bring in a little extra money but pretty much all my sales are online where I talk to every single person directly. The most surprising thing has been how many people are interested given that I have less than 5,000 followers/friends. To me that’s a pretty good sign that as my reach grows so will opportunities and I’ve been going hard these past two years. I think I’m just going to be making bigger, better things as more people become interested. I don’t know any artists doing it this way or any way really. I’m not sure Portland is the place to make it happen, but god bless the internet! Getting a college degree makes no sense whatsoever except for becoming a teacher, and I think we know how that’s playing out these days, so I’m just grateful to be doing what I’m doing even though teaching would be pretty cool. Technically you don’t need a degree to teach you just need people who want to learn.

ML: One thing that seems to have helped you gain momentum is the price of your pieces. I don’t think I’ve ever followed an artist pricing their work so low that wasn’t just really kitschy stencil art or something. I see some of your pieces for $600 that I’d see in a gallery for $6,000 no doubt, but then I see a great deal of $50 pieces. What made you decide to price your work this way? Has it changed over time? TB: Yeah and it’s always the “artists” that comment on the prices being too low which is ironic cause usually all you ever hear from the average person is mocking how ridiculously high the price of art is generally. Basically I think other artist’s scoff because they’re projecting their insecurity regarding the real value of art, and maybe a little envious they can’t let go of their own pieces as though the abstract painting they made in a few hours should be worth thousands when they could be making a dozen similar pieces in a single day. But um yeah I pretty much think of my stuff as like $30-$50 an hour and really like that’s fucking amazing for a job. Yeah idk I have worked some shitty jobs, and it doesn’t make sense thinking that my work should be above what a person like myself can afford in the first place. When I first started though I still had the mysterious art value notion and was pricing things around $200 that I’d price $70 now, and didn’t sell much at first. It wasn’t until I started doing smaller pieces and gauging my time that I started selling a lot more and trying a lot of different things. It’s not like i’m making art specifically about making money but I can understand why people are so interested in this aspect. I don’t think it’s very common huh. When I first started I tried to justify it as a performance piece called “The Painter” haha. I used to title all sorts of things in my mind as a means to cope with the daunting reality of the situation “Working Construction”, 2014. Even during some of the lowest points I think it helped me maintain the peculiar sense of an artist identity I didn’t want to let go of even if I was letting go of everything else like “Burning All My Journals & Paintings″, 2015

ML: Haha what is that last one about? TB: Around the time I stopped living with my wife and moved into my own place I decided to not bring much along with me. I think the title is self-explanatory. ML: I’m wondering if you could talk about any reoccurring themes or characters in a lot of your paintings like the blob fish or spicy boys. TB: Ya know I think most everything just comes to me on a whim and if it works out or holds my interest I’ll keep playing with it. I guess blob fish and spicy boys are like representative of the comedy/tragedy masks or something. I think I’ve simplified a lot of themes in my paintings just so I can keep the flow going. I’m looking forward to spending more time and space on pieces in the future and elaborate on certain things I’ve wanted to express but didn’t know how to put into words. ML: How so? TB: Well, for example. Sometimes I will paint something I’ve seen in my mind, like, dreamed or hallucinated, but not often because a lot of the time I feel I can’t do it justice even though a lot of my stuff is very much informed by these things that I don’t exactly control. It’s like I take video stills from the internet except they’re from my mind, and the screenshot is something I only had to opportunity to view briefly, but even with a split second hallucination I will think about it for weeks and often will just paint its most basic components. Anyway I’m gearing toward eventually elaborating on the more complex ones because lately I have had some visions that have come to the forefront of my interest. Hopefully will get to them after a few more pet portrait commissions haha. ML: What do you mean by hallucinations? Is your inspiration mainly inspired by dreams or do you mean drugs as well? TB: Most things I just write down as interesting ideas to play with, but I guess I don’t want to get too much into talking about drugs. However there have some recent experiences I’ve had with substances like dmt and the things I saw during that I have been thinking about ever since. So right now I’m just trying to get to the end of commissions and then give my attention to some new projects. Have a show in March. Don’t know what I’ll do for it, but certainly no shortage of ideas.

ML: Where do you see yourself going or where would you like to go, and any other thoughts on painting/selling/art in general? TB: I want to go to the top haha. Well in most ways things are better than ever, and I’m incredibly grateful and I can certainly tolerate having things going at this pace at least another year, but would like to make more serious/invested work that I’m really proud of, get some more money and attention and access to better time/space/materials. At this point though even if I had to get a day job I feel I’m completely committed to doing this work. It’s pretty much how I gauge my self-worth for better or worse. Just hope I can find my groove within the process and better understand myself, inspire others, and I wish I had something more insightful to say, but at the moment I’m a bit preoccupied hustling and just having fun with this upcoming show. Thank yaaaa.

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patriciachanbct · 6 years ago

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Reflective Journaling

Reflecting

Whilst studying the ‘Bachelor of Creative Technologies’ I think the most meaningful learning curve for me in this course has been the project Cards for Play. This project for me was the most important as it gave me a taste of what group work is like in this course, it also demonstrates how throughout the design process there will be a conflict with yourself as well as team members. We were also trying to design with a very vague process which broke most of us out of the step by step method we were all exposed to in high school. By doing so, it breaks down the design process alongside the paradigm shifts within the outlook of how it works. By doing this project we were also exposed to different people and how they worked, as well as how they managed their time during the project. With that, we discovered the difficulties we would face when we traversed towards the final product.

Conceptualization

For Cards for Play, we got into teams of 5 – 7 and my team consisted of – Jordan Bryan, Sophie Matthews, Bhumika Patel, Ciara Robinson Huggins, Max van Dijck, Thomas Woodfield and myself. As a group, we went straight to designing and planning out our project.

Our group’s values were not in the same place and were not on the same page. Therefore, we were faced with a lot of dead ends which resulted in us killing our baby on multiple occasions. It was very chaotic trying to think of a concrete idea and it proved to be difficult until we pieced together our statement of intents into a single sentence. This really helped with voicing the opinions of the people in our group who were quieter. If we had not done this then I don’t believe our group would have been able to connect as well if we did not combine our statements into one.

By doing this, we had created a common ground as to where we could work from and having fewer conflicts, due to our clashing personalities, as we could relate back to this statement. Bringing all our divergent ideas into one to prevent unnecessary conflicts in the future.

As the project went on we were faced with many situations where we needed to backtrack and work on things we had already finished. Every time we made progress, we were sent back to the beginning to re-evaluate what we had done previously so we could refine it over again. I wondered why we needed to redo aspects of our project again and I then realized that if we didn’t we could not develop more ideas in the future.

Working back and forth really helped us create discussions and gave us ideas on the prototypes we needed to make. By using that we would conduct play tests with different groups within our cohort and could research the finer details as to why it worked and how it could be better. With every test we could see we needed to improve, therefore, we needed to build something up again from the bottom up and avoid the mistakes we had made before.

The design process was messy, and I was not used to it as it wasn’t ingrained in me to work in different areas at different times. The whole experience created a paradigm shift to what my group and I thought previously about the process.

The Experience

The conflicts in our group were inevitable, however, I believe it was good for us to progress. The composition of our team was important as it should be positively related to our performance, because of the variety in our skills, opinions, and things we can and can not do. (Christian, et.al. 2006) This was shown as our conflicts within opinions also helped us find solutions that weren’t exactly presented to us at the start. Because the solutions we came up with satisfied all the people in our group, it helped us with finding the best solution for our target audience as well. Due to the diverse thinking in our group, we could come up with a final product that everyone could be pleased with as it created an interactive experience for the user.

The whole design process was completely new to everyone in our group. The backtracking, rethinking, killing the baby, etc. Because of this, we felt like we were thrown from one place to the other. The design process is best described as one of those chaotic party games where the players dash from one room of the house to another simply in order to discover where they must go next. (Wong, Siu. 2012) As explained, everything that we did in this project was very hectic. It didn’t seem like we were getting anywhere but as time went by it gradually came together and we saw how the process we went through backtracking and re-evaluating our concepts helped us a lot in the process. The more we did, the more it came together, and it really encouraged us to keep going until we were satisfied with the outcome of our project. It’s still quite a new concept we, as a group, because of the paradigm shifts from high school to university. It was because of those paradigm shifts that we were able to create the product.

Experimentation

In my opinion, the internal conflicts that we faced as a group helped us immensely. Because of these, we were able to communicate and figure out the differences between us as people. It helped us contribute more into the group as we all had different intentions, by joining them together was a great way for us to start off the project. Maybe next time, we could establish these statements of intents and combine them, so we didn’t need to agonise over it like when we did for Cards for Play project. However, I wonder if the project would have gone in a different direction had we not joined our statements together. If we didn’t face this conflict would we be as pleased with our outcome as we were currently? If there wasn’t a divergent idea would the project be as polished like our current one due to the variety of skill and similar technique? I believe that there would be a similar outcome but not the same, as it lacks the different ways of thinking our final product had.

Although, the design process did help us the quality shift in our project. By going back and forth with the design process, we could refine and develop our ideas more through playtesting and receiving feedback from our playtesters and peers. For my current project, data objects, we had to go through many ideas to reach our end goal. It was not as concrete as my last group as we do not really know what we want to achieve but through asking our peers it helped us with the deeper understanding of what we needed to do. I believe that currently, we needed to keep backtracking as we did not with our initial prototype which led us to become stressed as we had to change our idea a few weeks before the deadline. I do wonder what would have happened if in our Cards for Play project we never backtracked back to the beginning, would we be pleased with the outcome? Would playtesting with only the members of our group be beneficial to our product? Would we still be able to play it? I believe it would be quite an experience to see what would happen if we were to compare the different feedbacks we could get from the different user experiences. As Cards for Play was mostly user experience-oriented project.

References:

Christian, J., Porter, L. W., & Moffitt, G. (2006). Workplace diversity and group relations: An overview. Group Processes & Intergroup Relations, 9(4), 459-466.

Retrieved from:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1368430206068431

Wong, Y. L., & Siu, K. W. M. (2012). A model of creative design process for fostering creativity of students in design education. International Journal of Technology and Design Education, 22(4), 437-450.

Retrieved from:

https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1007%2Fs10798-011-9162-8.pdf

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noblecrumpet-dorkvision · 7 years ago

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Dungeon Design: Guiding Player Movement Part II

This time I’m going to go over some factors that guide movement that are less about visual composition and more about content. I am using the same map from Part 1, a map of an icy cavern frost giants are using as a lair. An entrance to a hero’s lost tomb is located within.

Mechanical Design

Since this is not just an art piece but a living, breathing world, we also have to consider game mechanics when trying to lead our players.

Skill Checks

Anything that is going to require a skill check will either draw players to it or cause them to avoid it and seek an easier route. Generally, this is modified by risk/reward. If there is a high risk but low reward, players will avoid trying to make such a check (like leaping across a pit of acid for a gold piece on the ground on the other side). If there is low risk but high reward, players will gravitate towards it and test their luck. A locked door is a good example. There's no visible downside to trying to unlock a door unless players think it's trapped. But if there are no signs of a trap, might as well, right?

The map here shows where skill checks are required, marked in red. In the west and northeast, stealth checks are required. In the center, two easy Athletics checks are required to climb some cliff-like stairs. In the southwest is a giant boulder that would require a nearly impossible Athletics check.

Interactive Objects

Objects are something in D&D that need to be described to the players by the DM. A circle on the map could be anything: a barrel of wine, a statue, a golden bowl of gold coins, or a pillar. Putting ANYTHING in a room will cause players to investigate it unless they believe it is of no use to do so. Never assume that those objects you carefully placed as leading lines won't just cause players to stop and investigate them instead of following them. Basically, if you want to attract players use interactive objects. If you just want to use objects as leading lines, make them useless for anything but cover or trash (like a pillar or broken table)

NPCs

Non-player characters are always points of interest unless the players don't want to be seen. Players will gravitate towards NPCs to interact with them, barring them thinking it might be an illusionary setup for a trap. Players can be very neurotic given enough abuse.

Monsters

Enemies are different than NPCs in that they are sometimes points of interest and sometimes points of resistance. Players that are at full health that believe they can take on a monster or group of monsters will head towards them. Once players start to get low and use some items they start to feel more vulnerable and try to avoid combat. Knowing the status of your adventuring party in the moment will help you place monsters to guide players to where you want them to go. Players healthy? Put monsters in a line toward the goal. Players bloodied? Put monsters blocking a path you want them to avoid.

This will, of course, change mid-combat as monsters and players move. Don't worry about it too much mid-combat unless you absolutely have to. Otherwise, the first impression when players enter an area will do just fine.

The above map shows the monsters in my dungeon marked in blue, mostly Frost Giants, Hill Giants, and Ogres. The lines represent patrol paths. My players were underleveled for facing Frost Giants. They could take them down about two at a time when forced to, but otherwise they had opted for the stealth plan. Assuming a patrol path is only occupied by a monster some of the time, can you guess the path my players took? They took the northeast corridor to avoid the western feast hall and took down frost giants commando-style.

Narrative Design

There are things you can’t always see in a map that guide the movement of your players. These are purely narrative aspects that arise from your description of potential pathways. Always make sure that there is a good reason to travel one path over another or else your players will check doors at random. As far as visually guiding your players goes their decision will ultimately fall on reason. And reason is guided by the information you, as a DM, provide. I’ll go over what I intended to be the narrative influences of the three hubs in the map above: A, B, and C. I’ve bolded the path I wanted the players to take to get towards their goal.

Hub A

This area usually has 2-3 giants in it eating or talking, but after a raid or at night every chair is filled while they feast. Clockwise starting from western path:

Snoring is heard from the other side of the door. This meant there was likely going to be a stealth element. What’s behind the door is unknown. Risky players could try and sneak past this unknown number of giants, and would be rewarded with a valuable treasure I placed there. There’s no reason to go there otherwise, but I wanted to reward exploration.

This narrow path leads back to a cliff face overlooking the entryway for guard to throw javelins at intruders. The players could see the path heading back the way they came and had already dispatched the guards. Players can intuit there’s no reason to go back here.

This area has plenty of barrels and crates to hide in, but sometimes two giants can be heard conversing as they patrol this hall. There is a smell of raw salted meat which hangs from the ceiling, likely a storage area. Stealth here will be easiest and there’s the most objects to immediately explore.

The back wall of this small room is visible. It could be used to sneak past the giants in this area, but doesn’t fit much else. There is a foul smell of entrails here. This is where they clean their stolen meat. Overall, not the best place to explore.

The last path is past (usually) several giants in an open area, and a large throne overlooks all imposingly. There’s a giant set of stairs in this path, which might require an Athletics check. This is the riskiest route and could only lead to more giants.

Hub B

Clockwise starting from the northern path:

This path is closed by a makeshift door with wide gaps between the planks. Inside, two patrolling giants can occasionally be seen/heard. Otherwise the room is well-lit and loot gleams in the barrels that are open. This must be where they store their looted objects other than food. Players will go here first if they didn’t come from here, but in all likelyhood they came from this room already.

This path has two Winter Wolves fighting over a piece of leather. There are weapons here, but not much else. There are other doors here to explore. Since there aren’t any giants here this would be a good secondary path to explore. A potential path to the next dungeon level is through this way.

Beyond two stone pillars 3-4 frost giants are wrestling or fighting. This is apparently quite common because the area has been smoothed into an icy patch that’s difficult to walk on. There is a chest on the north wall. This is likely the riskiest path to take because of the difficult terrain and number of giants. Thankfully the pillars can be used to hide.

Hub C

The frost giant jarl and a hill giant tanner patrol this area at intervals, meaning players are constantly on alert with few escape routes. Clockwise starting from the northwest path:

This path overlooks the great hall. Here, players can check on it from afar with relative safety. However, it’s still not the best path to take as it is usually backtracking.

This path leads to the aforementioned icy patch.

This path leads to the jarl’s chamber. There is a red dragon pelt for a rug and carvings can be seen all over the walls. Although this area is safe unless the jarl is present, it still speaks to the danger that lurks when the jarl returns. A potential way to the next level of the dungeon is here.

This area has a horrific smell from a tanning area. The giants steal most of their belongs from raids, but one thing they do craft is leather. There are pelts of just about everything from owlbears to yetis. Unless the tanner is here, this area is also relatively safe and has more places to hide.

This last path is blocked by a huge boulder that usually only giants can move. There is a crack that a small character could fit through, however. Inside is a frost giant shaman writing a scroll. Within are many unusual objects to interact with, including a dragon skull covered in runes, a cabinet of potions, a chest of treasure, and other things. This area is the most difficult to get into, let alone undetected, so there’s plenty to reward players willing to go through the trouble. This alone can entice players to make this room a priority.

#dungeon design #D&D #Dungeons and dragons #level design #map #dungeon #DM #DMG #D&D 5e #DnD #DnD 5e #cave #giants #narrative #storytelling #game mechanics #monsters #map making

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somecynicalanimator · 4 years ago

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Module - Showreel and Engagement

Industry Scoping Document

Over the course of this project, I have been looking at different animation studios and trying to decide which ones I would be interested in working for once I graduate, with studios that interest me leading to greater research. I viewed a lot of showreels from different companies to sample their work, such as Factory Create, Fuzzy Duck studio, Flipbook Studio, Studio Liddell, Studio AKA, and others. These are the studios that caught my interest the most. The companies I looked at largely fit with my specialism, 2-D animation/storyboarding, with some opportunities for mixed media that would utilise my 3-D animation skills too. Other aspects of a studio’s output was taken into consideration, such as how my video editing skills could apply to studios that also function as editing agencies. But my primary goal with my choices here was to pick companies that would enable me to create storyboards and/or 2-D animation.

Bearded Fellows

Bearded Fellows Creative Agency is an animation production and video editing studio based in Bridgeworks, Manchester city centre. Watching showreels of their work, I have found that their work mostly consists of one half 2-D and 3-D animation, other half live action video editing. Many of their pieces of work are commissioned by companies as advertisements, explainer videos, educational videos, etc. Although they do produce a number of different types of stories too. The audience for their work varies from project to project, however given that they often work on advertisements, they tend to stick for general audiences, or at least the broadest audience possible. One potentially contact I found via LinkedIn was Mathew Stanners, who is a co-founder of the company and who has sat in on lectures at our university before, which I attended. When producing portfolio work to show to this company, I would have to demonstrate via my work the ability to create a forward-facing piece of work that can appeal to its intended audience. Based upon the showreels I have seen, I think the skills that would be most desired by this studio is 2-D animation, such as Toon Boom Harmony, and After Effects, given that most of their animated works are either traditional 2-D or composite shots using 2-D images. Video editing skills, such as Premiere Prom would also likely be highly desirable.

Kilogramme Animation

Kilogramme Animation Studio is a production studio based in Tib St, Manchester city centre. From watching one of their showreels, as well as watching a number of their animations on their website, I have gathered that they mostly produce 2-D animation, although they have also produced a lot of 3-D animation. They produce a range of different animation work, a number of examples from their website include: technical works they’ve produced for companies, informative works produced for local and national organisations (Transport for Greater Manchester, London Fire Brigade, etc.), commercials they’ve produced for companies (Ben and Jerry’s, BBC1, etc.), and children’s shows and shorts they’ve worked on (CITV, BBC Bitesize, etc.). A unique aspect of their company is how their employees are able to produce personal work, which get uploaded and spread via the company website. The audience for their content varies depending on the project, although they have categorised much of their work for the sake of organising it on their website, and from these I can draw some conclusions about their audience. Many of their works have to target general audiences, such as informative pieces and adverts, although they mostly seem to produce these with adults in mind. As mentioned earlier, many of their works are produced for children. I’ve been able to connect with Jon Turner, the creative director at Kilogramme, over LinkedIn. The skills I would most likely need when hoping to work for this company include being able to use 2-D and 3-D animation programs, such as Toon Boom and Maya. However, examining they broad range of their work, I’ve noticed that a lot of their work involves either motion graphics-style animation or animation that appears as if it were made using Adobe After Effects, so I thinking that learning the basics of this program will be helpful to me as well. Given the volume of work on their website that consists of short, animated loops, I thinking creating a portfolio filled with short looping animations can help bolster said portfolio immensely.

Seed Animation

Moving beyond local studios, I have also looked into studios outside of Manchester but still within the U.K. for potential. Seed Animation Studio is a London-based studio located on Brewer St, Soho. Watching their showreels, as well as an assortment of other works, I’ve found that they’ve worked on a number of different projects, from adverts to studio films and online campaigns, using an array of techniques such as: 2-D, 3-D, Mixed media involving mixing live action with animation, as well as 2-D/3-D hybrid works. One aspect of their work I think is unique is their chain animations, when the staff each creates a few second looped animation, which can then be stitched together into a larger animation conveying a particular theme or message. They’ve produced work for companies and organisations such as Gas Networks Ireland, NHS, Island Records, etc. While their audience varies depending on their projects a lot of their work, particularly their chain animations and in-house briefs, tackle subject matter that would generally draw young adult and teenage audiences, although much of their work for companies plays to more general audiences. I’ve found one potential contact over LinkedIn, Morgan Powle, a co-founder and creative director at Seed Animation. I could also contact staff members who I spoke with in the past, when I participated in the studio’s Tales from Lockdown brief. I think the skills I would need to work for this company comprise of 2-D and 3-D animation skills, with Toon Boom, Maya, Adobe Illustrator and After Effects being of particular interest. I think that given the amount of chain animations their company produces, I think creating a collection of short, looping animations will help me immensely if I were to include them in my portfolio.

Aardman Animations

Aardman Animations is an animation studio based in Bristol, which is renowned for creating well-known works such as the Wallace and Gromit franchise, Morph, Creature Comforts, as well as movies such as Chicken Run (2000), The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012), Early Man (2018), etc. Their works are well known for being stop-motion animations that have a particular style to them, with the clay figures having a common style to them, particularly the eyes and mouths. In recent years, they have also gained recognition for producing a greater variety of animated works, working with other studios, teams outside of the company, and other people to create a variety of works, such as 2-D animations. Their audiences vary depending on the project, but they often aim for general audiences, making content appropriate for younger audiences while having clever and inventive writing that can hold the attention of older audiences. One potential connection I found on LinkedIn is Gavin Strange, a director and designer at Aardman. Given their greater use of 2-D and 3-D animation, I feel a good way to boost my portfolio for Aardman would be to focus on developing those skills, as well as possibly improving my stop-motion skills too. Animation tests utilising these skillsets would likely be best for my portfolio.

Rareware

Looking beyond the animation industry, there are many different corners of the entertainment industry as a whole that incorporate animation into their output, with animation playing a particularly large role in the video game industry. One such company of particular note is Rare. Rare Limited, also known as Rareware, is a video game company based in Twycross, Leicestershire. They are famous for having created beloved games such as the Donkey Kong Country series, Conker’s Bad Fur Day (2001), the Banjo-Kazooie series, the Perfect Dark series, and others. In recent times, Rare has produced Sea of Thieves (2018) as well as Battletoads (2020). Ever since they began using 2-D renders of 3-D models for the character/environment sprites in Donkey Kong Country (1994) they have focused on implementing 3-D into their games, before it became standard practice to create fully 3-D games, although they have continued to produce 2-D design work for their games, with their recent Battletoads remake being full 2-D animation. The games produced by Rareware have often targeted younger audiences, including their Donkey Kong and Banjo-Kazooie games, while some of their games, such as Conker’s Bad Fur Day, Perfect Dark, Sea of Thieves etc., have appealed more to teenage and adult audiences. When it comes to finding contacts, I managed to find one on LinkedIn, Louise O’Connor, an executive producer at Rare who’s open to talking over e-mail about hiring people to work on Everwild, a game currently in development at Rare, as well as discussing the environment and culture of the studio. Their hiring page mentions many of the positions currently open at the studio, and the skills expected from someone applying to these jobs. This involves learning how to work with animation and code, which is a skill I would need to develop if I wanted to fulfil certain jobs within their animation department. They’re also calling for art designers, which encompasses 2-D design too. I think that if I wanted to focus on applying for a job here, I would be best focusing my portfolio work on character animation and art design work.

#animation #showreel and engagement #reserch

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causeandeffectessaytopics723 · 4 years ago

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rowingchat · 7 years ago

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Jim Joy versus the Rowing Stroke part 2

What are we looking for when we are observing someone out on the river in a single shell? For me, whether the person is a sculler or a slugger depends on two major qualities. Does the shell pause momentarily in its sliding forward and does the bow sink below the horizontal at the release.

Vince Reynolds Sculling with Jim Joy

These are two important tell tale signs of something that is not efficient is occurring with the run of the shell.

The correction method for the stop in the shell run is simply eliminate the pause above the water at the entry point: the blade should just drop in. Eliminating the bow drop is equally damaging to the shell run because now you have a vertical component. This is eliminated by sitting slightly beyond the perpendicular and imaging that the bow is running level at the release. Your hands should complete the drive phase by finishing slightly above the navel. This will keep the movements of the trunk and arms horizontal. So, you have both a physical and mental aspects to the correction. This approach is attempting to analyze the sculling before us. It is not assuming that the successful scullers in the world today are good boat movers. It is using information both from the past and the present to make these judgements. It is giving full weight to the person and his ability to move a shell effectively and not simply to rely on his training numbers on the erg, with the weights or any other tests. It is purely how the organism interfaces with the shell and is able to get the boat to slide effectively through the water.

The search for the correct movements in the sculling stroke must begin somewhere. It deserves so many questions and I am so filled with wonder and awe over the magnitude of this sport and this particular endeavour. Many of these questions were answered during my first session with Robert Fitzpatrick, as he took me through the journey of the 32 movements of the cycle. It left me with a huge headache for my 5 mile bike ride to home in West St. Catharines.

The philosophy of the sculler begins with trying to achieve two things, a smooth muscle action, and a sound, clear mind over the course of the training. We can observe the muscle action and should become sensitive to whether it is fluid or not. The observation of the mind is an aspect that takes some training to perceive. In our immediate viewing of the sculler, we can observe if the facial features show strain. Keep in mind the 100 meter dash runners have no strain on their faces: they are totally relaxed.

The mind begins its work by focusing on the smallest muscular action. If the small part is fluid, then the whole will be fluid. It is the free, smooth, muscle action that is the goal. This smooth movement is the precursor for Flow. In sculling, we try to have flow in the body and in the mind and spirit in the shell. The body actions are directly connected to the workings of the mind. This is a wonderful composite action when all of these components are present and come together. Integrative action is beautiful, inexplicable and a wonder to behold.

Our mental state must return to our childhood play. We must attempt to remember those years when we played hard and long. We played with a clear mind fully concentrated on the activity at hand. We must view the world of sculling with fresh eyes; the eyes of wonder We must strive to touch our sense of wonder, our sense of curiosity because there is so much to learn and to discover as we sit on this seat of wisdom. It is a return to our primal self. When we meditate and sit in the shell, we are sitting on the ageless earth of our forefathers. It is with the eyes of the inquisitive and curious child that we discover that there is so much to take in with our sculling. There are so many questions to ask, as we progress deeper and deeper into the skill. For this reason we do need a competent mentor as a guide in our journey. Someone that we can work with on on our travel into the region of wonder. With proper imaging, we will see our free flowing bodies in total engagement. This state of action is what we will explore in this little book. How do we bring it about, how do we reinforce it and maintain it?

Vince Reynolds sent this, “I think the child like mind is lost when curiosity is replaced with a need to succeed and supplement ones Ego self. Kids are by and large only curious critters and as such they are not driven to attain a certain level of greatness and as such they do not behave in manners to support some ego driven nonsense. They are doing to have fun and enjoy and if they discover neat things along the way this is a double plus.”

The enjoyment aspect of the skill training should be paramount and the improvement becomes part of a natural process. You certainly can observe the difference in the performance of the Olympic skaters when they are performing in the post Olympics period in comparison to when the medals are at stake.

Percy Cerutty, the old Australian track coach, wrote, “If we study the movements of child from three or four to eight or ten years we will see, in most cases, free uninhibited movements- no tensions, no pose, no false assumptions.” Cerutty would include the study of animals along with children in his investigations on training his athletes. This approach was in evidence in the work of the French painter Edgar Degas with his paintings of fine racehorses and young dancer. A child’s exploration of the world is fresh and new and beautiful, full of wonder and excitement. It is our misfortune that for most of us that clear eyed vision, that true instinct for what is beautiful and awe-inspiring, is dimmed and even lost before we reach adulthood. It is an emphasis on the person’s athleticism that we must promote. The child has this quality. We must as coaches rediscover and promote theses primitive qualities in our young athletes We should take an integrated approach to the training of the whole body including the mental and spiritual aspects. This approach should be foremost in the mind of the coach. In rowing these qualities are eliminated from the young athlete by the overuse and over testing on the ergometer and by taking a numbers approach for evaluating the progress of training. The young imagination is stifled. The fun and enjoyment aspects are overlooked. We then become separated from the shell. We lose our sensitivity to its movements. We forget our overall posture in the shell. We forget our posture as a person. Our carriage becomes misaligned. This childlike mind is what I remember about my old friend Marvin Bram, professor Emeritus of History at Hobart and William Smith Colleges. On campus walk with Marvin he pointed to a lamp post and stated that the structure came with a cost. I thought about his comment for a while and realize that he was right. Our world of nature had been disturbed.

James Dundon a teacher and sculling coach wrote me this note recently, “your writing about discovering and sustaining a child like innocence with sculling is something we focus on at 612 Endurance. For example, we play a game called predator/prey on our steady states where we adapt rating to hunt one another down or to evade capture. We also use gamesmanship on our drills by challenging ourselves to take the most number of strokes on the square without losing our balance (I do not recommend square blade sculling). Mostly, we work on being aware of the larger circle around us; bow and stern and the tips of each blade. Your focus on discovering a childlike pleasure in that pursuit is definitely what it takes to find deeper meaning in the endeavor… absolutely beautiful. I need to read more about the quantum sculling approach to fully comprehend your reference. I also really appreciate your reference to St. Francis as a guide to gently sharing. We try to embrace that approach by sharing what we see in one another. We’re attempting to create an atmosphere that attracts folks who believe in gently sharing and helping one another, as it will hopefully benefit the other person and ourselves. The process of teaching, a challenging concept to another person, can somehow result in the teachers gaining an advanced improvement in their own work.”

The pursuit begins with our childlike love of the Earth and the Universe beyond. We must observe closely, engage, and embrace, wonder, and understand the natural world around us no matter how simple or elaborate that settling maybe. It maybe the city park, the farmland or the small town. We must discipline ourselves to really see the living trees around us. I remember when we left Connecticut years ago I embraced the large and beautiful maple in our backyard and said goodbye to it. It was my friend. On so many nights I can remember sitting under this beautiful tree with a sense of wonder and appreciation for its beauty. I was being childlike in my relationship to the tree. Recently, there was a large Black Maple in Boston that was to be cut down and the inhabitants of the city made an effort to hug the huge tree before it met its fate. The hugging brings us closer to the earth and our real experience. It touches our deeper spirit and the flexibility of our bodies and mind/spirit. You look at the world around you differently, with different eyes and different sensing mind. After our hill runs at Hobart and William Smith Colleges the students would terminate their runs with hugging a tree.

Jimmy Joy leading quiet sitting

On a daily basis you have the athlete return to his sensing state by having him sit on the floor on a regular basis. As he feels his butt on the floor he moves a little closer to the earth and the natural world. We do the same when we sit and play in our shell.This is a good starting point for returning to his childlikeness. I was encouraged to take a few moments to reflect before doing a piece on the water. The regular practice of quiet sitting is essential for achieving the clear mind of the child. With modernity we seemed to have lost our capacity to sit on the earth on various occasions. This is unfortunate because as we pointed out this could be the beginning of our childlike wonder. We must take every opportunity to sit on the earth. The Japanese sit on the floor for their meals and we in the west sit on chairs.

Plotinus felt that this practice of meditation is where you come to realize truth from the inside and not from the outside. He felt that the spirit develops until there is no difference between the “knower, the knowing, and the known.” Plotinus is directing us to a higher purpose and a higher mind that can be begun at an early age. However, we must on a daily basis return to our prayer cushion for precious moments of silence.

For Percy Cerutty, the great and unconventional coach of 50 years ago “athleticism had to be adult play. Children will play until exhausted.” So we have to return to the role of being a child with our sculling and hopefully with our training in general. It has to be a form of play and enjoyment.

The other day in an AT&T store I was treated to a TV display of playfulness watching the long-tailed macaque monkeys. They are so fluid, and flexible, simply great athletes. Children have the same capabilities.We cloud this development with too much programming, drilling and not enough free play and exploration. We must give our young athletes an opportunity to breathe.

From a small Ontario town I began my voyage into Nature at an early age.as I was constantly outside in all types of weather. The Western hill section of St. Catharines became my playground for sandlot football, for baseball and softball, for school soccer, and for lacrosse with the “Hill’s” Shamrocks. We also had our own skinny dipping swimming hole in the old Welland canal. We usually played our pickup games in our stocking feet and it was a great experience to feel the cold, fall grass under our feet. We felt that we were connecting directly with the earth.. We were part of a greater universe.

On the Western Hill it would be on the Station Park field and our football games that our expression of flow would really take place. In the immediate post World WarII period we would try to emulate the moves of two football heroes, Joe Krol and Royal Copeland. They became our models for flow. Being a pre-tv era, we had to rely and hang on every report of their exploits in the Toronto newspapers. We could only imagine their fluid movements for the Toronto Argonauts and we allowed our young imaginations to run wild. Our mothers did not particularly welcome our dirty wet socks from our shoeless play on the park.

We played from ages 10-15 against the local private school, the famous Ridley College. I had the responsibility to arrange the games through the Ridley school and to closely monitor our urchins that they did not steal any equipment from the Ridley boys after the games were completed. The Ridley boys were completely outfitted and we were in our everyday clothes. It certainly hurt when they stepped on our feet with their cleats. We progressed in this play through the various grades Looking back it was a great learning experience for me in leadership as I served as the organizer, coach and disciplinarian for our young team. It certainly provided me with an opportunity to grow and experience.

Trillium flower

So, the summer months were idyllic as we were constantly on the move. My contemplation of nature came a little later with my Sunday visits to the old dam that was situated farther upstream from the swimming hole. Here I could bask in the sunlight, watch the meandering stream and spend time with my young consciousness. In the early spring the opposite bank was filled with gorgeous white Trilliums the official flower of Ontario. We realized that we could not pick the Trillium .. We could only admire them and feel the pride of knowing that this was our Provincial flower. The total scene by the stream was a wonderful example of Flow. Observing the quiet continuous flow of the stream became a beautiful metaphor for the concept of smooth movement that I would try to duplicate in two sports over the next few years, in wrestling and in sculling. The moves and movements had to become instinctual and continuous. It was a struggle to achieve this state because the academic mind and thought kept intruding into the picture. It was definitely two distinct ways of looking at the world around us. To achieve the smoothness in the muscle action you had to think with more feeling. You had to think more instinctively. My childlike mentality prevailed over the more rigid and arid academic approach to learning the skills. I would playfully try new moves and concepts. There had to be a high degree of exploring and play involved in your skill learning. Fortunately, my coaches in both sports were supportive, and so, I did achieve a degree of Flow in both sports. So, my attachment to the natural world began for me over 60 years ago. I recall that I was slightly out of the mainstream with my peers and their thinking at the time. Sometimes, I feel the same today. People fail to see the connections between things.

My meditation practice would not surface until much later. When I learned to free up mind and have it work with my body and spirit. When I flowed, my whole body flowed. In the following years I refined my thoughts on the subject of flow by recognizing the importance of smooth muscle action. And I tried to carry these concepts into my everyday life, well beyond the sphere of my sporting activities. My subsequent coaching permitted me to expand my understanding of the flow concept even further. It became part of myself and the quest for understanding became an intimate part of my coaching. I looked for Flow everywhere.

The Flow of the Body begins with a careful monitoring of your own individual movements, while standing, walking, sitting, running, lifting or sculling. Whatever the action is. It involves how you get into and out of the shell; every move has to be athletic. Entering a shell hold one hand holding the handles and the other hand on the gunwales or rigger if possible. Place one foot on the dock and the other foot between the tracks, shove off and step into the shoe and sit down. Then bring your other foot forward into the shoe. You had to recapture the flexibility of your early teenage years. Entering the shell was part of your return to a state of Wonder.

Work over your handles to tie your shoes. All of these movements should be completed fluidly and with a distinct mental sense of focused purpose. It was by replicating the movement that flow was developed. You followed the same pattern over and over until it became part of you. This physical patterning plus the mental concentration on the pattern of the movement was what consolidated the flow and the ability to be able to call it up immediately.

Our approach to the sculling training should also be one of curiosity and wonder. We have to have the eyes and feelings of the child. You are fully aware of every movement, even carrying the oars and placing them in a deliberate fashion onto the dock. Each movement has to be carefully examined for smooth motion. So you have to thoroughly embrace the movements of the body. Every action has to be deeply felt in your physical and mental body no matter how small the movement may be. You are operating as a whole person, aware, conscious and concentrated. You see yourself. You are an athlete, operating as an athlete at all times. Your movements become who you are. The flow of the body becomes intrinsic. I recall vividly how I would employ a slow motion in approaching the dock at the end of each practice session and would effortlessly slip alongside the dock’s edge. So a major ingredient of Flow is the consistency of the movement. So simply do the same movement over and over.

It would be a few years from these playful moments that I would explore the literary works of excellent guides connecting me to nature. I found my guides in the literature of Heraclitus, Thomas Berry, Wendell Berry, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, and David Bohm,and the old sculler and master builder, George Pocock. This odyssey began for me with my coach Bob Fitzpatrick urging me to visualize the stroke cycle with “The Mind’s Eye.”It was around the same time that I discovered two little books, Eugen Herrigel’s, Zen in the Art of Archery and Shunryu Suzuki’s, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind. These two gems would remain an integral part of my thought and library wherever I landed. The reading is so important for discovery of new ideas and for the expansion of one’s knowledge.

I have thirsted for more of this type of reading over the subsequent years. Recently, I have returned to the work of Rachel Carson. It is a deliberate attempt to connect the workings of my mind with the movement of my physical body. I want to achieve flow in my mind and in my writings. Great writers and great writing assist with this cause. From Plotinus, it was seeing the oneness in everything. He adhered to the adage of “living in the world without being of the world.”

Again today we can find excellent guidance from our ponds, rivers, lakes and even our oceans. We should recognize the living nature of water. This is particularly important for our sculling and connecting the blade to the water. It is powerful bonding. We seek to engage the Earth on our hikes to the countryside and to the nearby glens and ravines. Our spirit is renewed and the plasticity of our minds permits us to include wholeness and integration. We embrace the Natural World. We seek a special resonance with it. Today, we have our own nature sanctuary across the street from our apartment complex and we plan to spend a good deal of time there in this coming year. It is where we can find the silence on a daily basis.St. Francis reminds us of the benefits from simplicity and gentle sharing as well as the experience of solitude, stillness and silence. All of this practice and thought can easily be woven into the fabric of the sculling stroke.

Vince Reynolds, my friend and devotee to quantum sculling, has extensive observations on the movement of the stern when he writes “It seems as soon as I become the least bit attentive to detail and start “ pulling or yanking” at the change of entry then the wake reflects an immediate loss of continuance of movement. This effects the entry and the release movements and the levelness of the pull. Watch the bow and make sure that it is running level. Do not rush or yank any part of the body. We must become lighter in touch.”

Here he is directly applying the movements of his body to the movement of the shell. Yes, you have to go lighter, especially with the fingers. There is potentially so much power in the fingers. I think that this was an excellent observation on Vince’s part. He is engaged with a childlike approach to investigation of the various movements. I recall telling him in the fall to take more time with the end of the drive, your release and the follow through. Don’t rush or yank the handles.

Lately, I have been very aware to live and act as a Quantum person and the work of David Bohm has become hugely important to me. Bohm expressed this same sense of wonder as he explored the world of quantum physics. Being integrated and connected, has taken on special significance for me So, it is an internal odyssey that is never ending or complete. It is our consciousness that we must explore and come to know more deeply. It is here inside of us where our being really lies. This short book will try to explore the various strands of this consciousness, the childlike wonder, the emphasis on smooth movement and how these qualities apply to our sculling. As we explore the workings of each movement we should operate with a sense of wonder and we must keep our minds open and curious. How do you develop a child like mind in our present environment? This is a profound question. My only answer after much soul searching is to live with honesty, curiosity, and simplicity. These are the qualities required for approaching the learning of sculling. What do you think? We must attempt to be childlike.

The process involves our love of the Earth and the Universe beyond. There are excellent literary guides found in Heraclitus, Thomas Berry, Wendell Berry, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, David Bohm,

Our spirit is renewed and the plasticity of our minds permits us to include wholeness and integration. St.Francis reminds us of the benefits from simplicity and gentle sharing as well as the experience of solitude, stillness and silence. All of this is woven into the fabric of the sculling stroke. Our return to the stroke is an occasion to vibrate at a much different frequency than is usually found in our every day lives. It is the wholeness of the operating cycle and the closeness to primeval nature that provides us with this profound opportunity

This philosophy began for me over 70 years ago on the banks of the headwaters of the 12 mile creek in St. Catharines, Ontario. It led me to observe my own body movements as I was looking for smooth muscle action. At the creek side the setting was the slow, meandering of the stream. It was a beautiful introduction to flow that I would employ in two sports over the next few years, in wrestling and in sculling. The moves and movements had to become instinctual and continuous. It was a struggle to achieve because the mind and thought kept intruding into the picture. However, I did achieve the flow in both sports. In the following years I refined and learned more about this phenomenon. It has been my life’s pursuit off the mat and out of the shell. I have tried to witness the flow in my everyday life. I have attempted to act and proceed as a Quantum integer. So the works of David Bohm, Michael Talbot, are very important to me. As well, Sri Aurobindo and Plotinus have taken on a special meaning for me. The writings describe the connections between people and things. To actually see this we must operate in the present. So, it is an odyssey that is never ending or complete. In many ways it is a return to the land of wonder, to the land of being a child again.

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