#this piece was completely experimental btw

[baconcolacan]

He needs a hobby.

GOOD LORD REMEMBER THIS WIP?? AUGH JUST TAKE IT MAN I WANT IT GONE FROM MY FILES. THIS THING- explodes.

auch, anyway, I think Tord can benefit from having hobbies so he doesn’t turn into a weaboo incel that wants to blow up his friends’ house. Why build one giant robot when you can have fun building a bunch of tiny ones??

[mysumeow]

HIII IS IT ALRIGHT TO REQ A YANDERE ALBEDO X READER SMUT N ANGST? I've been trying to look ALL over socials to find a good piece but I couldn't😭 would be wonderful for you to make one! BTW LOVE UR WORK UR DOING SO GREAT!!!!!💟💟💟

ꗃ ENSNARE

Warnings: afab genitalia, gn pronouns. YANDERE albedo, reader is forced to drink a potion, reader experiences memory loss, may be considered as dubcon, PIV unprotected sex.

Summary: Albedo isn't fond of the idea of you being away from him indefinitely. He proceeds to take matters into his own hands.

Word count: 3.3k

A/N: ANON TY TT_TT ILY <3. I think that Albedo as a yandere is a strange mixture of both being sadistic if pushed enough in that direction and being a gentle lover. He's just ironic like that. He can also be manipulative if he considers he needs to be. >:()

MASTERLIST

Being granted a chance to study at Sumeru's Akademiya was an achievement worthy of celebration.

Sucrose and Timeus congratulated you.

Albedo, on the other hand...well, he did too; however, not before a strange look settled in his eyes before he cleared his throat and congratulated you.

One week away from your departure, you still have one more obligation to take care of before you leave.

Albedo and you had been researching an experimental mix for memory loss. Not for getting rid of it, but rather for the opposite. Albedo did have a hidden streak for coming up with quite questionable ideas, but he claimed it's all for the sake of innovation and research.

He was quieter than usual as you worked on preparing the final touches to the potion. He even avoided your eyes, and that, of course, stung.

You were about to go abroad for a couple of years, and he was giving you the cold shoulder...?

"For how long will you be away?"

When the alchemist voices his question out of the blue, it took you by surprise. You bit your tongue to avoid answering with a passive-aggressive comment about his distant attitude. Instead, you answered with sincerity.

"Two years. Maybe more if I get a job there," you watched the bubbles form in the liquid. It was almost done.

"Hm, I see."

Is that all you'll say?

You couldn't help but be a bit annoyed.

"Although I am overjoyed about your promising future, I fret that I have to remind you that we aren't done with this research," the liquid stopped bubbling, and Albedo took the glass to shake it side to side. "And your duty, as a fellow alchemist, is to follow through with it,"

"..." well, he wasn't wrong. You did promise that you would complete this important experiment in a way to show your gratitude to him for taking you under his wing. "I was hoping that you would...excuse me, this time,"

Albedo's gaze seemed to stray off into deep thought.

"A reasonable assumption on your part," his voice was calm, even if that serenity didn't translate into his eyes. "I'll concede. You mustn’t delay your departure for the sake of testing and re-doing the formula in case it doesn't work,"

That relieved a weight off your shoulders.

"Nonetheless, I do ask for assistance in fetching additional ingredients in Dragonspine. It's less work, is it not?"

"Thank you, Albedo," you said, forcing a smile. Although you were hoping he would just let you go, you figured it was way less work than you had to do. "I'll be here tomorrow,"

"I'd like to depart at seven. I'd recommend you be ready by six at the latest," he nodded. He seemed to be in a better mood.

"Will do. See you tomorrow. Have a good rest."

"Goodnight.”

Once in your home, you had time to reflect on Albedo's attitude during this last meeting.

From the time you had known him, you never felt like he was dissatisfied with something you did. Not even when you first began dipping your toes into the field of alchemy and committed various mistakes that ended up in explosions, would he get as displeased as he did these past days. He was a patient teacher, guiding you towards the path of a successful alchemist. And, as a friend, he was also gentle and nice.

So, that's why you couldn't ignore the shiver that crawled up your spine for a reason you weren’t sure. He was just acting odd...

Uncertainty gnawed at the back of your mind while you prepared your equipment for tomorrow's trip. The more the clock ticked, the more it grew.

The longer you thought about the cold, difficult way up to Albedo's lab in that forsaken mountain, the more you doubted if you were willing to go through with it. You had a lot of preparations to do yet, and a trip to Dragonspine would take up at least two days.

Your arms went limp as you stared at the half-full suitcase on your bed. You were still in time to tell him about your change of heart. You could look for him in his office at the Knight of Favonius's headquarters if you went right now.

You finished putting your shoes back on and went ahead to open your door.

Your heart almost jumped out of your chest when the person who was occupying a good portion of your thoughts was standing right in front of you.

"Albedo...?"

"May I come in?"

You blinked twice, still recovering from the unexpected visit.

Albedo's teal eyes widened a bit as he raised his eyebrows and looked at you with confusion. "Is everything alright?"

"No-! Yeah! I mean, good timing. I was about to head out and talk to you," you stepped aside to let him in. "What brings you here?"

"Wanted to check up on you and make sure you packed the right supplies. You don't go up there as often as Sucrose and Timeus do," he gripped the strap of the bag on his shoulder.

"How... considerate," you planned to think about what you were going to say to him on the walk to the headquarters, but his sudden appearance left you unprepared as to how to approach the topic.

He glanced at your suitcase for a brief second before he spoke again: "You might reconsider the boots you're taking. Do you, perchance, have one with better insulation?"

"Albedo," you interjected more impulsively than you should've. Albedo turned to draw his attention to you. "I was thinking, maybe I can't do that trip. You see, I'm a week away from my departure. And I have lots of stuff to take care of before I go. I'm sorry that I'm sort of abandoning the project before its absolute completion, but..."

"I understand," Albedo's faint smile almost put you at ease. "You're busy. Everyone is, including myself,"

You just nodded, hoping this conversation would end already.

"So, let's skip the trip and go straight to the testing phase."

Weight placed on your hips and wrists, pain on the back of your head as you laid on the floor—it happened too fast. Soon, you began wrestling your arms, trying to break free from his grip but failing at it. You didn't understand how someone of Albedo's build and height could have such strength.

Your arms trembled, and you gritted your teeth, trying to push him off you. Fed up with your resistance, Albedo shoved you more against the floor, as if trying to prove a point—you're not going anywhere.

"I'd advise against making this harder than it already is," Albedo furrowed his eyebrows, his other hand pulling out the concoction out of the bag he had brought.

"Are you listening to yourself? You're asking me to stay calm in a situation like this?" your efforts to break free didn't falter for a single moment. "Are you out of your mind, Albedo? What the fuck is wrong with you!"

He didn't even seem to be listening to you; he unscorched the flask and poured the liquid into his mouth. He leaned down towards your lips, and you didn't need a second more to understand what he wanted to do.

He discarded the empty flask and took the opportunity to use his now free hand to pinch your nose, forcing you to open your mouth out of absolute distress and forcing the liquid into you.

You tasted blood, and at the same time, Albedo grunted from pain. You had injured his lip out of spite without thinking twice, but rather than angered, he had a pleased look instead.

"Why," you cried, your heart aching from having your trust broken by someone as important to your life as Albedo.

"Isn't it evident enough already? Ah, my apologies. You have your moments of being dull, needing aid from me to spell it out, don't you?"

Albedo was mocking you.

How much crueler could he be?

"There are reasons aplenty for these actions. One of them is that I can't stand the idea of letting you go. I hope you can find the possibility of forgiving me before you forget everything."

Seeing you were slipping out of conscience, Albedo finally let you go and cradled your head, resting his cheek against your temple, murmuring soothing promises that you didn't believe.

The place where you woke up was soft and comforting. It smelled of fresh linen and the faint aroma of cecilias.

Coming into your senses, you rose from the bed and looked around, recognizing you had no recollection of why you were here or who you were...

Your first instinct was to head to the door, which you did. 

A cold gust of wind blew straight into you, your once warm cheeks felt chilled at the drastic change in temperature. You shielded your eyes and squinted, discerning a pair of boots advancing in your direction.

"You're shivering," a pale, blond stranger with azure eyes guided you back inside with tender hands.

The stranger closed the door behind him with his leg and set down the stuff he was carrying. He brushed off the snowflakes left on your hair, not yet meeting your eyes.

"I know you have a lot of questions…”

You interpreted that as an invitation to ask away, which you did. The basic information about yourself, what's in this place, and about him.

Albedo wasn’t one to opt for easier ways out when it came to his work. He pushed himself to his limits, neglecting his commodity for the sake of advancing with his studies the most he could; he broke that habit with you. He chose the easy way out to avoid losing you; he chose the easy way out to trick you into feeling safe with him now.

“You can’t leave this place. There are people out there who want to hurt you.”

 Himself, being the first one to wound your trust.

“The moment they see you, they’ll want to pounce on you.”

Not for the reason he was deceiving you to believe in. They’d run to you to hug you and ask why you had disappeared.

“I still must go down the mountain to bring what we need to live here in relative tranquility. Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle it,” he rubbed soothing circles with his thumbs into your shoulders, his voice’s timbre akin to an analgesic. “Whatever you need, let me know,”

Albedo’s soft gaze was the first one you met back then, and as the days went by, not once did you sense any danger or discomfort within his presence. Considering that he was the only person you interacted with, you soon found yourself growing more attached to him.

Albedo sat down on the bed you shared, shrugging off his coat. He just came back from one of those trips he made to bring water, food, and other indispensable supplies. You watched him in silence, wondering if it would be alright if you acted on your heart’s whims.

He took off his boots too and undid his braids before he laid down next to you, facing the ceiling. His eyes were half-lidded from exhaustion. His chest rose and fell at a languid pace, his cheeks red from the cold.

He must've noticed your prolonged stare because he spoke up: “What did you do today?”

“Oh, I just stared at the wall,” you joked.

Albedo smiled, glad that you had at least retained some of your personality.

“I went through your sketchbook. The place where you go to fetch our stuff appeared to be warm and bright,” you sighed, longing to feel the sunlight on your skin and not the cold breeze trying to fight off what little warmth the sun provided. “I also tidied what I could, but there’s not much stuff to organize anyways,”

He hummed, his eyes still not meeting yours.

“Albedo—” you called out for him before you could stop yourself. You covered your mouth afterwards, but it was already done. You had the entirety of his attention on you.

“Yes?” he turned to face you; his cheek squished against the pillow.

Now that you thought about it, you realized you rarely glanced at his face, at least not with this amount of clarity. He was close; you could appreciate in detail every feature of his, like how the locks of hair he braided framed his face in a different way now that they were untied.

“I noticed there’s something worrying you,” he uttered.

Calling him was one thing your heart ached to do, and placing your hand on his cheek was another. The latter, however, you acted out on.

His face was warm. You expected it to be the opposite, but you were happy that it wasn’t the case. And it grew warmer the more you left your hand there and the more you approached his lips.

And the kiss heightened in intensity whilst his hands found your hips, and you positioned your leg over his. You wondered if his heartbeat was as fast as yours did now or if he had fantasized of something like this occurring. He didn’t push you away. In fact, he pulled you in closer. He locked his arms around your frame, loving you with a desperation not usual of him.

It was evident in his eyes how much he yearned for this, for your love. Despite that, he took his time to undress you, caress the expanse of your abdomen, and kiss every inch of your skin. His hands went from your hips towards your chest and gave you a gentle squeeze. Your body’s response occupied his keen observation; thumbs rubbed on your nipples, and more arousal pooled between your thighs. His index fingers joined to pinch them carefully—a moan left you, and his heated attention shifted towards your face.

Albedo swallowed hard before he shifted positions to sit between your parted legs. His kisses went to your neck, and a hand slid down towards your glistening folds. He prodded first, marveling at how slick you already were, and then glided a finger inside. You hugged him closer, unused to that sensation. You were hiding your face in his hair, but Albedo didn’t mind.

A finger became two, increasing the tempo little by little. Even though the stimulation wasn’t directed to your clit, his palm rubbed the spot anyway.

“More,” you panted, your arms tightening around his lean frame. You could feel the muscles on his back tense and release from his movements, and his hot breath was fanning your neck. Albedo, always responsive and pliant to your wants, rubbed his thumb faster against your clit, the thrusting of his fingers inside of you became sloppier. You’d be embarrassed at the amount of slick sticking to your inner thighs, but right now, you don’t have the mind for it.

Just before you reached the edge, he stopped.

“Albedo,” you whined, tears forming in your eyes from your ruined orgasm.

He didn’t seem guilty in the slightest when he cupped your face and swallowed any other complaints you had by claiming your lips with his; tongue slipping against yours, and softly groaning into the kiss. You felt him suckle your tongue a bit and pull away. You almost whined from the loss, but your thoughts vanished once he stroked your clit with his dick. Albedo’s interest piqued each time you twitched from pleasure, taking in your reactions.

“Put your legs on my shoulders,” he asked, waiting for you to come back into your senses to do so. With uncoordinated movements, you managed to follow through with the request, and he pulled you in closer.

Hot.

It was ardent when it made contact with your stimulated and sensitive hole. Albedo had trouble controlling his heartbeat, and after some seconds of preparation, he eased in. It was an enjoyable stretch, reckoning Albedo’s intent on satisfying you.

Albedo filled you to completion, the tip poking a vulnerable spot inside of you. The tremors in your body didn’t subside when he touched it, and he could feel it himself. Gripping your hips with a firm hold, Albedo began thrusting. In and out—a coordinated and gradual pace. You were getting used to the sensation of having something of that girth inside of you, and Albedo was trying not to cum so fast.

“Your body reacts so beautifully when I touch you here,” Albedo’s fingers went back to your clit, and you arched your back when he began stimulating it in tandem with his thrusting. He was about to say something else until a groan cut him off, feeling you clench around him.

Whatever self-restraint he preserved left his movements closer to fucking than lovemaking, with how fast and hard he was yanking your hips in his direction. Not like you would complain, anyway, since his sleek fingers (from your wetness) were rubbing on your clit. You were treated to the airy groans and gasps that emerged from his bitten lips and the unusual sight of the collected alchemist losing his composure, thanks to you.

You approached an orgasm faster than you thought you would, stopping your body with spasms and blanking your mind. You managed to hear Albedo’s own groan of pleasure and hot, thick spurts of cum inside of you. Albedo hurried to kiss you, ensnaring your body taut to him, making sure everything went inside.

You were tired, and you didn’t even care that Albedo was still resting on top of you. After a few minutes, he pulled out and laid next to you, hugging your shivering frame to his.

“Do you want me to prepare a bath?” he kissed your temple.

“That sounds like a good idea,” you mumbled, clinging to him.

The next morning came, and Albedo found he had to go back down for an emergency. You couldn’t help but stare at him as he prepared himself to go out, wishing you could go along with him.

“I’ll be here as soon as I can,” he said, putting his coat on before going away. “If I’m not here by nighttime, expect me to arrive in the morning,”

You nodded, considering whether you should attempt to ask him to tag along.

By the time you made up your mind, he was already gone.

Last night, as you were drifting off to sleep, you recalled some information regarding Albedo: he’s an alchemist.

You had no recollection of him ever telling you the precise field of his work, but for some reason, you were convinced it was a fact.

The more you fell down the rabbit hole with the question of why you were so convinced about it, the more you began remembering bits of information before you were brought here.

You glanced at the pile of research notes, notebooks, and sketchbooks left on the desk. Amongst the notebooks, you recognized one he tends to take with him whenever he heads outside of Dragonspine. For a moment, you entertain the idea of running after him to give it, since it’s important. You decide against it, given that you don’t have the appropriate equipment to stand the unforgiving temperature or something to guide you.

Days like this were boring, so instead of looking through his drawings, you went through the notebook.

A particular page catches your attention.

You skimmed through it, the mumble-jumble of words not inspiring you to stop and analyze it. However, the moment you identify a series of daily records detailing who worked to create this experimental potion and the progress made with each study—

You found your name.

[sawyerconfort]

fire(and)place | jackie taylor x fem!young shipman!reader

TWO POSTS IN A ROW, I'M GETTING BETTER!

Ok, just want to let you guys know that this is an experimental post, because I really want to start watching Yellowjackets and I decided to write oneshots about it...

So, I'm sorry if there's anything wrong with this story regarding the context of the series, I didn't really watch it and only watched snippets of the episodes to cheer myself up and see if I liked the atmosphere of the series.

Btw, it's a story with a character played by Ella Purnell, I think there's no way to go wrong, right?

Hope you like it!

Enjoy!

Requests open but taking things slow!

----------------------------------

Prompt: After your older sister has a nasty fight with Jackie in the woods, you decide to take matters into your own hands and confront her. It would all go down too well, though, if you didn't have a crush on her.

***

You didn't expect things to get to this point. In fact, you didn't even want things to get to this point. You knew better than anyone else how much Shauna liked Jackie, considered her her best friend, and how close Jackie actually was to you because she was best friends with your older sister.

Which is why, when you woke up to the screams echoing in the cabin that middle of the night, after accidentally falling asleep and snuggling into Natalie's shoulder - she was warm, in your defense - you wondered why Jackie wasn't there, and the way Shauna looking at you as soon as you opened your eyes was completely decisive.

"Why the hell are you yelling this time?", you asked, your voice coming out low and rather sleepy. "Where's Jackie? I thought we'd go hunting when we were all together, didn't we?"

"Not anymore," Misty blurted out unintentionally. "Your sister decided to fight Jackie, and she's outside now, who knows where, in the cold maybe."

Shauna rolled her eyes. "She started it!"

"Shut up you suckers!" you yelled, standing up and brushing a few strands of Natalie's gorgeous blonde hair out of her clothes a little bit before heading for the door. "You shouldn't have done that, you shouldn't!"

"Where are you going, (Y\N)?"

"Do what you didn't do. Apologize to Jackie and save her from dying of hypothermia at least."

You rolled your eyes as you left, slamming the cabin door slamming and leaving the girls exchanging skewed looks. Misty stopped Shauna with her arm and your sister had to watch you go, against her will, outside in the snow, just when she should have been protecting you.

***

It wasn't too hard to find Jackie, knowing at first that even if she was intensely hurt by Shauna or any of the girls, she wouldn't go far. The girl was as scared as you were about navigating the forest alone, so she could be anywhere, just close.

It was practically freezing outside, and you found yourself picking up your pace several times to keep your shoes from sinking into the icy white snow - sometimes it was quite pointless and you practically froze just by dipping your toes a little bit. But it helped you to locate yourself, when the fog gave way to a figure turned on its back, hugging its own legs, with that varsity jacket that you knew so much, and that, dammit, she never took off her body!

It didn't take much for you to know it was Jackie and, relieved to see her, you walked over slowly and sat down where she was, beside her, avoiding eye contact.

"Please don't tell me Shauna asked you to come after me as a consolation prize," she said, rolling her eyes, still hugging her legs. Her voice emitted a little air from her lips, and when you looked up, her mouth was purple.

Quickly, you needed to take action. You dug with your hands until you couldn't dig anymore, but eventually you found some sticks and stones, which were more visible in the middle of the snow. By rubbing the two together, you created a little bit of fire and arranged some lighter pieces of wood to create a fire. Jackie sighed in relief and another little smoke came out of her mouth.

"No, she didn't ask. I came at my own risk," you finally replied, taking a deep breath as well. It was nice to feel something warm as you sat on the icy ground. "May I know what happened between you two? Why did you fall out so quickly? Everything was so good…"

She didn't answer, and you decided to play with the situation.

"It's only when I fall asleep that you decide to let go, right? That's serious, Jackie, it's a lack of a worthy mother figure."

Jackie laughed, and dammit, you loved it when she laughed. You loved when you could make her laugh, when you could see her little eyes close as she turned her head towards you and looked into her eyes like she was looking at a little sister.

That's what you were to her, a little sister. And that was all.

"I don't know why Shauna is mad at me. Sometimes I thought it might be Jeff, but now that I've broken up with him, I…I don't know anymore," Jackie sighed. "I thought you knew, since you're sisters, and she should tell you everything…"

"Uh, one point less for you…", you chuckled nervously, sighing. "Shauna never tells me anything. She pretty much hates me, I think maybe she'd rather I was a Barbie doll instead of a normal flesh and blood person…" you huffed. "Seriously, I had to beg her to let me on your team, really."

"But she was right, (Y\N), you were still too young. It could cause problems in your class, because you're a year below us."

"I'm not a kid anymore, Jackie, I make my own decisions, and I've decided I want to make the team," you replied in an authoritative voice. "No one can change that now, I also wanted to win, I wanted to help you on the team, not just watch from the stands…"

Jackie nodded, smiling and pursing her lips. She looked at you, and again, there was that annoying little "big sister look" thing she always gave you. You pretended you weren't affected by him and tried to ignore it, but it was impossible.

"If I ask nicely, will you go back inside and make up with Shauna?" you asked in a whisper, looking at Jackie again.

"(Y\N), it's no use. Shauna really hates me now, there's no going back."

"But that can't happen! How am I supposed to be if you guys are fighting forever? How am I going to convince my mom to let me go to your party without Shauna around to babysit me?"

Jackie shook her head. "I'm sorry. Really."

"But that couldn't happen! It's so unfair!"

"(Y\N), stop whimpering like a baby!", Jackie complained, turning to you. "It's irritating, okay? It doesn't help at all!", her voice was different, and it was clear that she was very irritated with the situation.

You widened your eyes, an intrusive thought running through your mind as you stared back at her, your voice trailing off. "You find me annoying? Really?"

"No, that's not what… Ah, (Y\N), come on, I'm sorry, okay?", Jackie clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth and looked at you, her voice becoming quiet and calm, like she was talking to a puppy. "That's not what I meant, I swear, it's just…I'm really pissed off right now, and if you keep forcing me to make it up to her, I'll…"

You nodded, holding back tears, but didn't say anything. Then, there was a moment when Jackie surprised you by cupping your chin with her fingers and forcing you to look into her eyes. Gorgeous, huge, but gorgeous, you could easily get lost in the whole pool of charisma that was inside them.

"Come on, give me a smile please, (Y\N)…", she whispered, still holding you by the chin, and you smiled, blushing slightly. "That's it. I love seeing you smile, (Y\N), really. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude to you, but this whole situation is killing me."

"Everyone is nervous, Jackie, it's normal…", you explained, whispering, too lost to focus on one thing. "We should be playing right now, winning medals, lifting trophies, but here we are, stranded on a shitty island."

"Hey, at least we still have people to count on…", she whispered back, smiling. "People we like, that's what matters to me at least," Jackie laid her head gently on his shoulder and looked into the crackling fire. "Like, I like you a lot, (Y\N). I don't know what I would do if we had a fight…"

You were taken aback by the revelation. You were already used to Jackie's surprises and her nonsensical phrases, but this time, it rang true. Too bad you felt more than just a liking, and that you couldn't truly tell her that for fear of losing the friendship.

"Me too… I like you, Jackie…", you whispered. "But…"

"But you really want to dump me now, don't you? Yeah, I know. I figured my lack of affection would hurt someone one day…"

"No!", you said, kind of loudly, startling her too. "No, what I meant is… that I like you. Like hell. But it's not just liking… a friend. You know… I'm…"

She quickly pulled her head away from your shoulder to look at you, laughing in disbelief.

"Are you telling me that… you're in love with me?", Jackie asked, confused, frowning. "I mean, like, you? In love with me?"

"Yeah, I think that's right…", you replied. "I'm sure, actually. I'm in love with you, Jackie, and I've never felt that way about anyone in my entire life.

"Damn, (Y\N), that…that was cute, you know?"

Your smile faded, and Jackie saw it right away. It made her laugh, and when you least expected it, she kissed your cheek, then leaned in a little closer to kiss your lips, and you were taken aback by the feel of icy, frozen lips pressed against yours.

Jackie didn't seem to regret the impulse. She was clearly nervous, but she was shivering too, from the cold, and as you kissed, she touched your face with trembling hands over and over again, sometimes hesitating between your cheek and your shoulders.

Her lips were cold, because of the ice, and they were soft, because they were a girl's lips. The girl you were in love with and had kept that secret for a long, long time.

"Was that your way of saying you like me too?" you asked, afraid that this was more of a threat than a genuine question from someone who was confused when she pulled away from you.

Jackie smiled, nodding and blushing as she kissed you again. This time, the touch lasted a little less, and when she pulled away, her face was hidden in the crook of your neck.

"I don't know why it took me so long to figure this out…" she whispered. "It was literally in my face the entire time. That's why Shauna hates me. Because of you, (Y\N). She's so jealous because you guys are sisters, and because I'm her best friend…"

You smiled. "And that makes you regret liking me?"

"Never, I swear…", Jackie whispered. "I actually love the fact that I like you. It's comforting because I knew I'd never have to say it out loud since the two of us are inseparable…"

You smiled again and it was your turn to hide your face in Jackie's neck. She hugged you with both arms and breathed in your scent, sighing. She was clearly warmed by the touch of you on her body.

"Now, if I ask nicely, will you go back to the cabin?"

"(Y\N)!", Jackie sighed, before kissing you again, only this time, all over your face, laughing every time her lips meet your skin. "God, will you stop being so cute? This way I won't convince you that I'm mad at your sister!"

"It never convinced me, to tell you the truth. You two are failures to disguise that, deep down, deep down, you still like each other. And I'm happy about that, because I know that, no matter what, you'll have to put up with me for the rest of your days!"

The girl smiled. "Yeah, not that I'm complaining, either."

And there you two idiots were, giggling by a poorly made fire for the rest of the night, after an awkward but completely adorable confession.

[independent-variables]

HELLO !!!

Having now finished binging all of your star wars fics, I come here asking for some recs. Just any of your favourites, bonus points if it will cause emotions (and tears).

Also can't stress enough how much I love your writing, it's so so brilliant <3

(this is neptunesenceladus btw, tumblr hates me and won't let me send asks with a side blog so you get this one)

HI!!! Good to see you, good to see you <3 Always happy to provide recs <3 <3 <3

I want you to know I went through my bookmarks and pulled like sixty fics and had a brief moment of panic, so this is not all of my recs just the first... thirty, or so. If none of these are appealing, oh boy, do I have more!

This list is not in any order other than bookmark order, most are on the shorter side, most are Gen and I am pretty sure all are complete. I tried to warn for stuff that could be a squick when I remembered.

False Dichotomy by nsmorig

Starting off strong with my favorite Cody fic of all time. If you read nothing else on this list I encourage you to read this (if the tags are not a squick) because it will re-shape your brain and shatter your heart into tiny pieces. Basic premise is Force Sensitive Cody gets captured by Dooku and survives torture, experimentation, and imprisonment while trying to figure out his relationship to the Force and to his personhood, and the ways those things are connected. 

What's in a Name by Sankt

This is about Fordo post war and it’s phenomenal characterization. 

The Last Poem of Jedha by schweinsty

How Bohdi Rook becomes a rebel and writes a poem. 

you're like a loaded gun by kazhan

Ok this is E and also Underage, so maybe it’s a skip, but it’s teen Boba/Cal trying to navigate sex and love and secret identities and it’s so fucked up and so good. 

chicken, cattle and cat by deniigiq

Obi-Wan and Maul living in domestic dis-harmony on Tatooine. What more could you ask. 

Little things [are the reason to live] by i_will_bite

Clone medics navigating a slightly hostile working environment and trying to make it less hostile T-T

Two brothers (and a kid) by meerlicht

What if. Waxer and Boil just stayed on Ryloth, with Numa. What then? 

with poise, with grace by andeemae

Stone falls through a hole in a roof and falls in love. Beautiful clone/OC romance and very cute kids, doesn’t shy away from the difficulties of being a clone in love with a civilian. Very much an inspiration for me.

second time around by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters

This is another one I wasn’t sure I wanted to put on here because it deals briefly with rape, but it’s such a wonderfully fucked up take on Anakin and Rex’s relationship. Or, how Vader views Rex. 

The Desert Storm by Blue_Sunshine

If you are looking for an epically long series to get invested in I highly recommend checking this one out. This series and its sister-series are some of the best characterization and worldbuilding for Jedi I have ever had the pleasure of reading and it is a fix-it in all the messy, hard, terrible ways people don’t usually write fix-its. 

Shape-Changer by Fialleril

This is a foundational fic for me. Incredible Tatooine worldbuilding. Inspired me to write the way I write. 

The Sun Is Bright, The Sun Is Blue by ambiguously

CUT AND SU ORIGIN STORY!!! 

most things may never happen: this one will by jaigeye

This is brutal but what if you were a droid and you had to dissect a person. 

Bad Deal by FettsOnTop (GTFF)

Boba/Lando my beloved. A brief look into their relationship and into Lando’s thoughts leading up to Han and them’s arrival. 

and the Force is with me by sauntering_down

Rex and Ahsoka and the way the war changed them, and what they can and cannot do in the aftermath. 

Twilight on Owl Creek Bridge by yellow_caballero

The Fox fic of all time. What if you were trapped in a time-loop with a ghost from the future but your life is so monotonous and simultaneously bizarre you don’t even notice. 

Fishhooks by yellow_caballero

The Boba fic of all time. This author does not write much for SW but every time they do it’s iconic. What if you were a teenager running away from home but also a perfect clone of your father created to be him but better but also his because you will never escape his body and his ownership and his love. What then. 

Staring into open flame by SLWalker

This is such a beautiful and heartbreaking read, it’s basically exploring what would have to happen for Maul and Obi-Wan to have a genuinely healthy and happy relationship post murder and bisection. 

Energy Drink Fox by carrinth

The crack comic of all time. What if Fox had space Monster.

lost cause by catboydogma

The foundational Dogma fic. The fic that got me wondering about how clones spend their time on Coruscant. 

the married au by dharmaavocado

Clone rebellion my beloved. Basic premise is the clones took over Kamino and then went out into the galaxy as a mercenary army of sorts. Rex and Cody are finding their place in the world, creating business partnerships, falling in love, manipulating public perception of clones. (Background clonecest, not between Rex and Cody.)

[t1meslayer]

hey! i’ve been reading a handful of ur fanfics (which r rlly gud btw!) and i was wondering how you were able to resize and edit the text like this

and also like this

i’d be rlly interested to know because i’m unsure if it’s even possible through normal means on ao3!

Hey hey! I'm very glad you're enjoying my work <3

Thanks so much for taking the time to give me a read!!!

The text editing stuff is actually a basic function on AO3, you can do it too! When you're looking at the text editing/posting page, you'll see at the top that you can utilize "plain text with limited HTML"

Clicking the question mark icon there shows you all of the HTML functions that are available, with a basic explanation for how to apply them in your text:

The TL;DR is when you've picked one you want, you can start that section of text with the HTML signifier in diamond brackets <like this>, and then end that section with diamond brackets using a forward slash </like this>

(Be sure to include the ending set of brackets otherwise you'll accidentally make the entire rest of your story in italics or somethin - not speaking from experience I swear)

However, I found a "story" posted in 2015 that was particularly helpful with visualizing the major elements. It's called "A Complete Guide to 'Limited HTML' on AO3" by CodenameCarrot. In particular, this highlighted stuff like being able to do sub- and superscript text using <sub> and <sup> that I used (I think) to great effect in my Pokemon Scarvi piece "Paradiso" - where a lot of my experimentation happened under the guise of nightmare bs.

The way I made text look almost like the "Chat" option here on Tumblr was through "Special Types of Text."

They all produce the same result when published on AO3, but I personally use <tt>.

I've also been messing with image embedding like the text message thread in "Peaks and Caverns" and my Author's Notes in "Stone-Cold Lovers (ch. 3)," there should be more of that coming in pieces that I'm writing now! I learned a good practice for how to do so from the 2014 piece "Super Awesome Learning How to Embed Place" by leftennant.

Tbh I've been a bit surprised at how many people have asked me about this text editing stuff in my comments, because it's one of the first things I noticed is available compared to, say, fanfiction.net. I like that you can use the basic tools of the service to tailor your stores to a vision in even small ways, so I've even been testing things like pseudo-graphic design like recreating RIAA record plaques using just HTML features on my Splatoon fic "By Moonlight":

Hopefully these explainer pieces can help you out with it too!! They're the only things I currently have bookmarked on my AO3 'cause I refer back to them so often.

[zoannearts]

Happy wip wednesday everyone :3

Recently got inspired by fantasy again of course so did some quick drawings of my original characters

I thought it’d be a fun art challenge to draw some of my fantasy oc’s in the style of Fear and Hunger so I am currently working on that right now alongside other things just chipping away at it in the background when I need to take a break from other things, the two characters I have sketched so far are Rosa and Cora they are sister witches from the same academy Cora being an elf battle witch while Rosa is a bunny girl (need a name for her people) whose focus is on hexes, wards and healing, she is more academically minded as opposed to someone who goes in to battle

My next piece is my original character main focus character I did for OCtober last year, she’s my little bunny witch girl i should do a whole bio for her soon tbh. I also want to do a write up of the witches academy she is from and other characters that are from it.

Even though I got completely distracted by my fantasy stuff (again lol…yes it happens all the time yes it’s a real problem) lol but I still made progress on my Signalis fanart, enjoying how it’s coming along so far but still not done yet i really feel like that piece has helped me with my colour theory though making a more unified colour palette

Recently finished showing my boyfriend the 10th doctors Seasons on doctor who he loved it btw we’re already on to Matt Smith and he loves him too!) and so I got inspired to do a little experimental painting of the 10th doctor but I am so struggling with capturing David Tenants likeness I’ve got to keep trying but there’s the rough sketch for now

[shmypko]

havent really drawn anything these days bc of my mental health and whatnot so have this little piece of text that i wrote like.. two weeks ago (it does not feel like two weeks) and cant finish because i didnt write it all at once so my writing powers left me. translation is under the image, i want to leave the russian version too bc i think the original pieces language feels better(?) AND YES I LIKE FANCY FONTS btw i hope its not too ooc,, i tried to portray the characters the way i feel them(?)

" Raskolnikov suddenly rose and clung to Vrazumikhin's lips. The movement was so unexpected and impulsive that even he did not fully understand what he had done. Well, let it be - it's too late. The kiss felt like something experimental, almost like the first kiss of a boy, of which he would later feel ashamed. For Rodion, it was true. He has never kissed a woman in his life - meaning kisses on the lips; those that pierce to the middle of the soul and warm it - not to mention people of his own sex. Raskolnikov grabbed Vrazumikhin's shoulder with his weak hand. He sloppily clung to others lips with his own, while breathing heavily: both from illness and from the moment. This whole gesture caused Vrazumikhin worry and misunderstanding. He couldn't make sense of what was happening - it seemed to him that Rodya was trying to say something, but because of the illness, he was just whispering and muttering into his lips. Dima, still not getting over from the surprise of the action (so typical for his Rodion), worried about the well-being of a person close to him, held Raskolnikov by the head and gently lowered him back onto the bed. "Rodya, you-" but as soon as Vrazumikhin pulled away from Raskolnikov, the latter got close to him again and now tried to kiss his friend with renewed strength.

------- second fragment

And then the cold took him: it all felt so disgusting, so unnecessary and distant for him. Rodion quickly turned to the wall and stared at its patterns, breathing sharply. "What's wrong? What's the matter with you?" Vrazumikhin startled. There was no response from Raskolnikov, one could only observe how his body jerkily rose and fell. Dmitry quietly, tenderly lowered himself and hugged Rodya, who was so dear to him - he surprisingly did not twitch, only breathed softly. It seemed that he was overwhelmed by pity, despite his mixed feelings about everything that was around him and happening to him now. Vrazumikhin did not move - it was too scary to hug Rodion tighter or let him go completely. One would think that they both fell asleep if they looked at them from the side. Suddenly, Raskolnikov slowly shifted, forcing his friend's attention to himself. He slowly took his hand out from under the blanket and put it on Vrazumikhin's forearm, stroking him in his own way - as if he was afraid. Dima broke into a warm smile, which Rodya felt as the head with black hair moved at his back, trying to "caress" him. "

btw i took this from a translator(with some of my edits) so sorry if something is wrong, it just felt like it did a better job that me😭😭

[fraternum-momentum]

Okay, so let me ramble abt making the last comic, cause that was an absolute behemoth to work on, and I have a lot of thoughts in my head. Man, I don't know how those webtoon artists do it every week. They scare me now.

This is super long btw, so get cozy if you want to read :]

Starting off, I actually got this idea from my lil 'ol diary I keep by my tableside :] I like writing down what I feel so I can see it in a more concrete(?) manner, helps me cope i think. One time, I really did cry for someone because I guess I just really liked them a lot. Having crushes is fun, but catching feelings isn't.

I always get this giddy feeling of being head over heels for someone. Every interaction is so exciting. Intoxicating even. And I couldn't get enough of it, but after that few seconds of bliss I immediately think to myself that all these scenarios in my head will never happen, not in a million fucking years. I just preemptively reject myself without ever telling the person what I feel. I know what the outcome will be anyway, and I'm afraid of what will happen if I did say anything. It's just too risky.

The second half is completely made up tho, I will never ever kidnap someone... unless? (For legal reasons, I will have to clarify that this is a joke, Thank you.)

Now onto the comic itself!

The composition is probably the easiest and the most fun part. I love, love, love, how versatile you can be in the webtoon format. Figuring out how to transition the panels is super fun, and it sucks that most of the webcomics I see on tapas or webtoon, etc. are just sticking to those boring box formulas over and over again when it has so much potential, although there are exceptions like, for example, Lore Olympus. While it has it's fair share of flaws when in comes to other aspects, you can't deny the artist's talent esp when it comes to knowing how to place the character in an illustration, (again) the compositioning etc etc. (ep. 8 is p good. They stick to the box stuff during dialogue but gets more experimental in some parts. I haven't been keeping up with it, so idk any other good eps)

One of my only big regrets is that I wish I had made the space between the '...but I love it." and "And soon..." parts longer. I think it changed scenarios way too fast and your eye immediately moves onto the next piece of text,, but eh, it is what it is, and I can't be bothered to edit it so ig I gotta learn to live with it.

It's still messy in,, a lot of parts actually, and I still can't do lineart to save my life, but i kinda tried just cleaning up the sketches instead???? I mean, it kinda works, but it isn't really smooth so,, And there are small mistakes here and there that I could've fixed or colored stuff in properly or whatever. But at that point, I'm just done with it. No more. Am tired and want to draw other shit now. Maybe boobs n dicks n pussy-

Oh actually i have another comic in my wip folder that I started before the sad Kylar crying one. Here's some of the thumbnails for it:

the fucking lisa simpson looking ass face just cracks me up every time I see it LMAOQJSJQJ I just wanted to show it to u but stay tuned for that ig

I eventually want to make little comics like this for other characters as well! Like Sydney, who is also one of my favorites cause of the whole religion aspect to them, and I would like to tackle that topic with yet another super personal experience of mine that for some reason I'm comfortable with sharing with a bunch of ppl lmao

I also really want to make a full on nsfw one, like gut rearranging, carnal fucking, hardcore banging,, ok ill stop. But I do need to do more,, uh, "research" on that,, i swear it's research, i have no clue how im gonna draw it. Hell, I already struggle with drawing people fucking and imagine adding cool transitions to that. Guess even my masochistic tendencies extend to this shit too.

And I think that's pretty much it? I'll probably just stick to b and w or monotone with a few accent colors because i just know that it would break me if i did a fully colored one.

Okay, thank you for reading this ramble, I'll go ahead and answer some asks now,, Here's your prize though!

[the-sinking-ship]

May I ask why you are posting the (absolutely mind boggling, overwhelming well written, soul crushingly phenomenal, best piece of absolute artistry I've ever had the delight of ingesting with my own eyes that makes me thank the universe every day for allowing me the pleasure of being able to read) spideypool fic anonymously on AO3?

Idk if I mentioned it but I am enjoying it btw

omg anon, i'm BLUSHING. Thank you!!!

And I put it on anon for two reasons.

If it sucked and either no one read it or everyone absolutely hated it, I would have plausible deniability.

99.8% of my subscribers follow me for a different ship (which is probably pretty easy to guess based on my tumblr and AO3). I didn't want to inundate them with updates for my experimental foray into a different fandom, or have them think I've jumped ship completely (I haven't! I swear!).

But the anon thing is temporary! I'll take it off as soon as I finish posting the last chapter. I doubt it'll be my last spideypool fic, so if people want to follow me for more, they can!

Big props to the Spideypool fandom for being so nice to me and reading a fic from an unknown author because although I've been a long-time reader, I haven't written out of my fandom comfort zone in a few years and it feels SO REFRESHING to write something different.

thank you for the ask, anon!!!

(and if you're wondering wtf i'm even talking about, you can find my spideypool fic Love Is Only a Feeling right here!

[fainthedcherry]

PARAMORE RELEASED THEIR A24 TRIBUTE COVER TODAY. AND I GOT INSPIRED BY THE LYRICS AND THE VISUALIZER.

IMAGE CREDITS BC VERY OBVIOUSLY THIS IS AN EXPERIMENTAL PIC COLLAGE PIECE PRIMARILY BELOW DESC (I DID NOT TAKE THE COOL PICS OBV.)

OK GIANT CREDIT BLOCK GO (Freepik and pexels my beloved saved my entire college year lmao):

1 OCEAN WAVES

2 OCEAN WAVES AGAIN

3 YES A THIRD OCEAN WAVE

4 VERY COOL DROPLETS

5 FLAME. OO FIRE PRETTYYY /POS

6 BG I CHEATED YOU INTO BELIEVING IS RAIN

The drawing though is made by my acoustic arse /lh

THE LYRICS ARE TAKEN FROM THE VID I LINKED. HAYLEY'S VOICE MY BELOVED AND FOREVER DEAREST ENTIRE BAND /POSPOSPOS. I wanna sing like Hayley so badly, she is such an idol to me, when it comes to vocals and I wish to sing as expressive as her some day 🤧✨💖

--

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY, OTHER THAN I'VE BEEN EXPERIMENTING WITH SHORT DRAWINGS, THAT TAKE UNDER A DAY TO COMPLETE TO FIGURE OUT SOME THINGS I WANNA DO AS AN ARTIST AND POSSIBLY COMMISSIONS. + These drawings genuinely kinda de-stress so it's been free therapy too, oops. I wanna do more of these vector-style drawings, that are just me taking lyrics and creating these fun collages, of things that inspire me or I like. It's a chill practice and lets my creativity actually do the work for once, instead of my usual need to outdo myself in every drawing and improve lmao. Improvement is cool and all, but dear god did I not realise how hard my need for perfection last year stress and strangle me tf out. I seriously need to re-evaluate the way I approach art as this massive, intimidating medium, when most artists literally draw for fun, and for me it's been like...A Sisyphean task.

--

If you enjoyed seeing this, I might make a sequel with C'est Comme Ca and w/ Marco in it instead and a red BG,, if I want to, I might turn these into a series, just like those aesthetic icon drawings I made of my 2 boys, started Lotta, and IMMEDIATELY lost that sketch due to my USB's death back in 2022 and lost all motivation for art due to that massive loss /neg

--

Not sure what else to add here other than my thoughts that I already did!! Other than ofc, the usual, MASSIVE thank you to my friend Hollowed-Hartlocke for introducing me to Paramore back in 2019 <3

Think I'm done rambling now tho!! OH WAIT. I can add, that I had to actually pull out Adobe Illustrator just to add stretched text for aesthetic purposes. Then I got so impatient with the effects panel not showing me the usual layer-effects and me being too lazy to look up, whether InDesign was the one, that had the usual layer effects I use in an Adobe program or not. Btw still mooching off my college acc that shoulda been dead long ago but just isn't??? LMAO I'M STILL GONNA USE IT IF I CAN ALRIGHT.

OH YEAH BTW. This drawing took 3 hours. NO I'M NOT KIDDING. PEOPLE WOULD PROBABLY BE SHOCKED THAT SUCH A LAZY LOOKING PIECE TOOK SO LONG. BUT I GENUINELY AM RATHER SHOOK THAT I TOOK SUCH LITTLE TIME TO CREATE THIS. TBF I threw MOST proportion checks and canvas flips I do out the window, so there's a BIG chance I will hate this, if I flip the canvas xD ANYWAY I RAMBLED LONG ENOUGH I THINK NOW. JUST ENJOY EXPERIMENTAL ART

^Before-bed edit; Yeah his torso's a TAD too much leaning to the left, it's off-center to the rotation of his pelvis to be in fact, but maybe? I'll roll with this mistake. It kinda gives the piece its abstract nature..I kinda like the mistake?? This is the first time in my life I ever tolerated a mistake I did and now declare it on purpose and will probably build one into the next piece as well. Hell, maybe it'll yield an interesting result. Anyway, it's 12PM as I write this, and I have to get up at 4AM for my train soOooo, yeah, gotta sleep ASAP for school.

I have NO clue again what to 100% accurately tag this, so forgive me if the tags are wrong LMAO, I just will believe what I believe it has overlaps w/ within art-genre.

This piece kiiinda gives pop art??? So I'm gonna tag it as such as well, but but might be incorrect. If a pop-art enjoyer wants to correct me, PLEASE DO. I'm going off the definitions of pop-art I learned in high-school. So I could most def be wrong about me adding this tag in particular. How tf do people confidently tag their posts when I doubt almost every tag I add man. Tagging is the worst part of uploading art to me due to how hard it is to label art really, not meant to be in a genre. xD

Def adding Paramore tags tho bc I NEED to know more Paramore fans out there bc we feel like such a tiny community, when they're literally one of the most influential rock bands of the 2000s and 2010s imho AUGH

[groovylittleclown]

I am at a sleepover and we're talking about childhood and playing with lps, so I need to tell you a story that my past best friend and I made. Prepare yourself.

So this spanned over the time of multiple weeks and I am confident that there are plot points that I do not remember.

So I played as I think a dog. My favorite was a cocker spaniel named Butterscotch. So I'm just gonna assume it was her. And my friend played as Ariel because we had those princess dolls. And my brother joined a few times as barbie.

Butterscotch was a spy who worked for a cat lps (I think) and we needed these documents for our spy operation to save all of littlest pet shop planet. (we're aliens btw) So Butterscotch who was the best spy, was sent down to earth to carry out the orders and sneaks into a princess party. She breaks into Ariel's office and demands to know where the documents are. Ariel says no and kills Butterscotch which starts a giant war/alien invasion to honor Butterscotch. Ariel has to sneak away and hide the documents and have a low profile during this whole thing. I remember a jail arc somewhere around here but not completely. And also an Ariel falls in love arc and there was a whole side story with her and Tinkerbell. And something revolving them being lost in the land of mlp. But that was a side story off of the main one. So the war wages on, pets are falling, princesses are falling, we're having to recruit the ponies and fairies to help the princesses, and then the stuffed animals to help the pets. There's also a whole kidnapping and experimentation thing going on too. But eventually Butterscotch gets found and is given a life flower, which revives her. So she's back in action. Then there's a whole other stew of unimportant side plots like Butterscotch going to school and Butterscotch turns into a mermaid and other stuff. She dies again at some point in time but she's back.

So she breaks into Ariel's apartment while her and Tinkerbell are having a date night. And she starts a fight with Ariel, but this time is occupied by Barbie!! Ariel shoves Tinkerbell in our closet to keep her safe because she can't let anyone know she has found love or something. Halfway through the fight Barbie decides that she's done taking orders from Butterscotch and does her own thing, claiming she needs the documents because her dream house needs to eat, I think? That was its own whole thing, my brother and I made up our own stories when I couldn't play with my friend. So then Tinkerbell says she's going to take the documents to her place to keep them safe, and then drops them on her way out. So we all dive for the documents and I don't remember who got them. I just remember writing some stupid message on a piece of paper and Ariel saying that the real documents were stolen. So they had to work together to get them back.

But then I moved away and we never got the end of the story. So... That was that. I know I'm missing so much but it was so many years ago, I just don't remember.

I had to give Butterscotch away a few years later and I still want her back, but oh well!

[falsebooles123]

Finding The First Gay Kiss - Diary of a Big Ole Gay 1/7/23

Edit: Yes I know that I published this three days late, suck my dick.

Hey Whores, Today I am sad, not because of movies but just because being unemployed is depressing and I am someone who deals with ... that sort of thing.

(also thank you tumblr for checking on my mental health, you real for that)

I don't like to talk about my depression because honestly its not that bad like compared to some peoples, like I can always get out of bed in the morning, I'm not suicidal. Its just sometimes even when everything in life is fine I just have no energy and I want to cry for no reason. or I sleep for 10 hours everynight and I still feel tired.

and I know that my pain and sickness is valid as much as everyone elses but I feel that I'm stealing valor for being someone with like mild depression symptoms. What I'm saying is that I'm a fake emo.

(go on fuck me emo boy go on fuck me emo boy, wait what was I doing...)

Its Day 4 of the job hunt and I'm typing this up before I go job hunting today but its just so hard when life sucks not to catasphize I hate this feeling of freefall, of feeling like you have slipped off of the tight rope of life and you are just falling

falling

falling

falling

sure at any moment you will either hit the net or feel every single bone in your body break simultaniously. The body eletric, a petit mort of estatic orgasmic pain before nothing.

and I know that that isn't true, i know that I am capable that I am strong, that I am more then the obstucles that get put in my way. and even if thats not true I could always be a nihilist and know that the human desire to keep on keeping on will keep my mortal flesh in pained wretcheness for awhile longer.

Well now that i was a little emo about this shit lets actually talk about the movies I watched this week. BTW I rented a bunch from my local library so thanks taxes.

Glen or Glenda (1953) dir. Edward D. Wood Jr.

Glen or Glenda is something else. On its surface its almost the transsexual Anders Die Al Aldern, complete with a psycologist and plee for sympathy, on the other hand it is a bizarre acid trip of imagery that is impossible to discribe outside of 1940s experimental film, on the third hand it is a anderson-esque autobiography work where wood confronts his own desires for transvesticism to the point that it greatly misreads the room.

This film greatly misunderstans transness, it conflates crossdressing, (which is presented as a fruedian fetishism for lace and fur), with being trans and it doesn't spend a lot of time exploring either of these ideas well. Psuedo-anaylsis is applied to find the roots of their GNC and tbh a lot of this films messaging is outdated.

However I have also had the good fortune of reading a book on the subject, (the name escapes me and I'm to lazy to look it up), and a lot of the way that transness is discussed is period accurate. A lot of people that were getting medical care, (including the influential christina jorgensine), were doing so because of hormone inbalances or because they were intersex. transmedicalism has been the bread and butter of trans health care and while I absolutely don't support it political for a variety of reasons it is the framework people had at the time. The notion of gender identity or even dsyphoria, (are modern transmedical metric)), are woefully modern.

that being said it should also be noted that a lot of people really didn't care about the distinction insofar as it purtained to being part of the queer community. The desire to be GNC was seen in itself enough and our distictions of queer identity are also more modern in the same way that before the 1970s bisexual wasn't a weirdly used label or the notion of asexuals, (who were under the bi umbrella), didn't politically branch off until the 1990s or later.

I don't want to excuse the politics of this film but I do think it is a queer work, dealing with one mans experience of bigotry and trying to heart-felt make an acceptance piece. The fact that this film is so deragated, not by a trans audience, but by a mainstream one, to me comes off as aggresively queerphobic.

I am not going to say that this film gets to be in the cult status of problematic faves like RHPS or its even more problamatic cousin Hedwig and the Angry Inch but I do think that it is being cut from a very similar cloth.

The Detective (1968) dir. Gordon Douglas

At some piont around the 60s and into the 70s Crime Prods went into this almost ACAB era, where instead of explicet copaganda, (y'know like the post-9/11 stuff), they were shown as almost anti-villians and this film is no different.

Usually this gets compared to Serpico or Victim, I don't watch a lot of '60s films so it reminds me of Cruising(1980) which came out later on.

Basically ol blue eyes is a third generation pig and he's investigating the murder of a gay man. but see hes one of the good guys because he doesn't think its nice to call the queers f*ggots, oh and be clear the pigs are very homophobic in this. they love calling us fags and fudgepackers and fairy queens and who the fuck knows what else.

But see Sinatra is a good guy so he only emotional abuses his unfaithful wife a little, and also totally didn't beat a confession out of a innocent man and get him sent to jail.

Its differcult with these films because on one hand pigs are pigs and its at least honest but on the other hand these films do glorify this violence. I don't know i'm not a film scholar, (I say as I write my academic ass essay on this subject).

I do want to rewatch Cruising at some point one causes its very hot.

(i literally had to type in the year and director because tumblr won't let me search for Cruising. What if I want to see a man get sucked off in the bushes tumblr-bumbly thats my progative)

and second because the film I feel has a more neutral idea of cops. I think that depicting them as all racist pigs and all good guys as a gun is a disservice. Being the jack boot thug of the regime is obvious a moral gray area and while I refuse to sympathize with shit like "The boy in the stripe pajamas" I do have some interest in see people deal with a corrupt system.

Rope (1948) dir. Alfred Hitchcock

There Lesbians Harold.

so first before I discribe this film let me first discuss how gay the origins of this are. For those not in the know Rope is based off of a 1929 play Ropes End, (well in the broadway run), which in turn was inspired by the case of Leopald and Loeb.

There were two young students, (teenaged at the time I believe), who murdered a 14 year old boy because they had read too much nietzche

Not only were the two murderes but it turned out that they were indeed gay lovers, with the sexual relationship feeding into the more toxic dom/sub aspect of the killing team, (OK I watched a lot of criminal minds and they fit the model to a tee).

this of course was tawdry and shocking and of course it feeled the fucked up imaginations of people and so the gay codependence of these two murderers found there way into Ropes End which dramaticised the events.

This was then picked up somewhere by Alfred Hitchcock and given to Arthur Laurents, also gay, (btw according to wikipedia he got set up with his partner by Gore Vidal of all people).

Also both of the main actors in this John Dall and Farley Granger were MLM. Another fun fact was that the Prof, (who was explicitely a daddy in the play), was originally offered to Cary Grant, a man who has never been accused of liking other men. He turned it down supposedly to the queer intonations of the work, (I want to be clear that Grant has stared in other queer works but thats not the point).

Laurents discusses in Rope Unleased (which was nicely enough included as an extra on the DVD I borrowed from the ibrary), how the whole movie was about "It" and everyone was in on it. And it kinda is.

The Murder scene is sexual, with the men holding up Davids prostate body, one with there hands around his throat, the other having his hand inside the jacket feeling his heart beat slowly stop. This death is in someway Le Petit Mort.

Laurents says once again in the doc

"Hitchcock was fascinated by the fact that they were gay murderers, if they were gay he wouldn't care, if they were murderers, but both"

(I'm paraphrasing here)

and this film conflates murder with sex in a way that is palpable. The body becomes almost this symbol of there homosexuality something that can be revealed and outed. Theres another prescient quote by Dom Prof along the lines of

"You Know Phillip, I wish I could come Straight out with what I know

Unfortunetly I don't know any, I merely Suspect"

and lets be clear there is a lot of lines in this work that have that kind of double meaning.

This Movie is gay, it is so fucking gay and everyone knew what they were doing. Good Shit.

Michael (1924) dir. Carl Theodor Dreyer

Michael as has been stated before on this blog is based off of the 1902 novel by Herman Bang. This film is a lot more explicet in the plot probably for the fact that this film wasn't mostly lost. Theres more drama with the characters and overall its basically about a guy whose boyfriend/little starts getting bamboozled by this scammer and ruins his life because of it. Its in a weirdly weird way Its about toxic queer love but like in a way thats not problematic. Which is nice.

What I mean by that is that in modern queer storys tend to have a lot of gay trauma, its a lot of repression and homophobia and people being called faggots and dying of aids.

(you get what I'm getting at)

However in this film its more that these gay people just have like a toxic relationship that has fuck all to do with being gay. Its straight people nonsense but for people who are not straight. Which is honestly kinda refreshing.

[bkblaise]

hello. hi. I have to tell you ur nski cartoon style art has indubitably changed my view on how to draw ness completely

like. COMPLETELY, and I thank you for it because the way you drew her like. idk. so round is so beautiful it made me draw ness like that whenever I throw him in my canvas to be my muse

ESPECIALLY FEM!NS. I LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER NOW, kis being so sharp and ns being so round or like a circle is so GLORIOUS I want you to win the lottery a thousand times because it changed my view and my ways on how to draw him and I FAWKIMG LOVE IT !!1!1!1!1!1!1!1!

it suits him so much. SO much. #BlessYouOp and havw a good kins day Lovebyour art so much btw. my no.1 fav artist evaaaaaa #ThumbsUp #SorryIfIDontKnowHiwToDescriveYourStyleOfYourFemNsCorrectly #ItsSoGorgeousTh9

THANK YOU SOSOSOOS MUCH?? WHAA THAT WAS SO NICE OF YOU ... are you talking about my kiki/bouba drawing?!?! I really liked how that turned out, I normally never draw cartoony things so i really amd surprised and very much appreciate how you liked my experimental piece!!!!! I'm so touched and reading this message makes me CRY THANK YOU ANON YOU'RE SO VERY NICE AND I HOPE YOU ALSO HAVE A KAINESSFUL DAY.. I HOPE TO SPREAD THE NEWS OF MY GODDESS FEM ALEXIS NESS HEHEHEHE.

[fashionlandscapeblog]

I think it's more the way the outfit fit. They just often don't fit, especially in the bist area. I also think that especially back then people wore a lot of outfits in that style because of Kanye, Celine, Alexander Wang etc. but do you

Oh you did mean to be rude and very. First off, that is not completely true and you can see it through most my outfits in the past two years. Maybe there are a couple pieces that don't fit so well anymore and I should replace, since my body has changed now that I'm older and I rarely buy anything anymore for a couple of years, but that has nothing to do with my overall style. However, I will take your criticism in a constructive manner, even if it's evidently not how you meant it.

Secondly, I am NOT a fashion influencer anymore and I very ocassionally post outfits here, not in any serious way whatsoever, only having fun with 95% of things I've had in my closet for many years. I am honestly surprised that someone even cares about the looks I'm posting here since I stopped using Instagram.

And lastly, big NO: most people who wore minimal outfits then were wearing normcore and that is a fact. I do not remember Kanye being an influence on anybody (not a hip hop fan , but punk, on the other hand, has been an inspiration), but mostly, I do not remember anyone with an overall elegant, experimental minimal style other than Centenera who was my biggest inspiration (she was Kanye's influence rather than the other way around and I hate streetwear BTW). There were people like Elin Kling, Columbine Smile, Camille Charriere, Ivania Carpio, Charlie May and a few others with their own brand of minimalism, but none looked like each other differently to today's influencers. There might have been people who wore here and there elegant minimal outfits, but it was overall not a thing. Everyone wanted to wear casual, relaxed, and effortless was a key word back then. I know it because I was there. There wasn't even one single Tumblr blog solely dedicated to elegant minimal style and collecting those brands and designers back then. Besides, if you are telling me that there was anyone in the blogosphere then with an overall style wearing all the exact elements I've continously worn since then (asymmetry, dresses over pants, skants, subversive clothing, puff sleeves, barely there sandals or mules, etc) then I can just laugh.

You very clearly do not understand what style is (general problem with the Instagram generation) and that it is a very personal thing about the very specific things one likes and one's experiences and personal background (I studied architecture and I put together outfits in a similar manner I would design). My style was formed in the Y2K era (Helmut Lang style) and the influence was always there. I even met my husband back in 2003 in an outfit similar to what I wear today: white capris, pointy kitten mules, and a black plunge halterneck.

Please find a better hobby than to troll people on the internet. If you are so bothered by the looks I post, ignore them, it's very simple. I don't even earn a cent by doing this.

[lovejustforaday]

Shoegaze Classics - Flying Saucer Attack

Flying Saucer Attack - Flying Saucer Attack (1993)

Main Genres: Experimental Rock, Shoegaze, Noise Rock, Lofi Indie

A decent sampling of: Space Rock, Ambient, Noise Pop, Post-Rock, Neo-Psychedelia

So initially I decided to start this rundown of classic 90s shoegaze records with an album by the band Lush, one of the most melodic and accessible groups of the original first wave of the "scene that celebrates itself". Naturally, I've decided now to write about a band fixed somewhere on the complete opposite end of the spectrum. So let's take an inter-stellar ride into the raucous, illusory "rural psychedelia" of Flying Saucer Attack's self-titled LP.

The Band

Flying Saucer Attack (Fucking marvelous band name btw) formed in 1992 during the height of the original British Isles shoegazing scene.

The only real band members consisted of a duo, made up of lead guitarist and vocalist Dave Pearce, and bassist Rachel Brook. The two hailed from Bristol, a city more famous at the time for being at the epicenter of the emerging trip hop sound, and not exactly the primary hub of the growing "scene that celebrates itself".

But beyond that, the shoegazing sound was already reaching what would become its definitive peak in popularity around the time that Flying Saucer Attack was just starting, just as indie bands in the U.S. of A. were becoming conscious of the UK scene, taking notes and creating their own mesmerizing shoegaze records. As far as UK groups go, Flying Saucer Attack were late-comers. Hell, I even thought these guys were an American band until I went and did the research.

It's also noteworthy that most of the first wave shoegaze bands got their momentum started by releasing a series of EPs before doing the big debut record; meanwhile Flying Saucer Attack's first major release was their first full-length LP.

EPs were often of equal importance to LPs, and often just as celebrated in the world of shoegaze. They were the necessary steam needed to run the engines of the hype machines that helped to make bands like Slowdive, Lush, and Swervedriver become legendary acts in their very insular scene. Comparatively, Flying Saucer Attack were not a big name at the time, but I'd argue that they are one of the A-tier bands of the first wave.

I'd also say that early Flying Saucer Attack were also every bit as much of a lo-fi band and noise rock band (and sometimes a space rock band) as they were ever a shoegaze band. If I had to make comparisons to get the point across, I would say that their early signature sound is very EVOL era Sonic Youth, meets the harsher early output of Jesus and Mary Chain, meets shoegaze's heavy reverb, muted vocals, and blending guitar pedals. If Lush had a cleaner sound as a shoegaze band, then Flying Saucer Attack's sound was the antithesis of clean. Moreover, like Slowdive and especially Lovesliescrushing, Flying Saucer Attack also had a penchant for including more ambient pieces in their catalogue. The band did not limit itself to one sound, not even for the span of a single record, as you can clearly see based on how many 'main genres' I had to tag this particular record with.

The Record

Flying Saucer Attack's self-titled debut Flying Saucer Attack, sometimes also referred to by its alternative title Rural Psychedelia, is a very noisy, raw, and experimental undertaking. It is a vast and open twilight wilderness of crunchy guitar sounds guiding through an eerie, tepid, liminal atmosphere. It also really has the potential to ruin your speakers and quite possibly your ears if you play it at full volume.

As far as the general trend goes of burying vocals in the mix that is common to the shoegaze formula, this is definitely one of the more extreme examples that I can think of. Dave Pearce is hardly a whisper to be heard over these profoundly opaque, crackling, impressionist guitar paintings. The whole experience is something I would describe as oddly comforting and even sleepiness-inducing, despite sounding at most times incredibly abrasive. In this way, the record is almost like a soft bed of musical sandpaper. If the band had just came on to the scene and released the self-titled today, I can't help but feel that it would be an almost instant classic to a very specific, mostly online crowd that adores bands like Have A Nice Life and The Microphones. Then again, these bands themselves had to gain their reputation over a long time, so I suppose it could always a possibility in the future for Flying Saucer Attack as well. And for the what it's worth, I enjoy this considerably more than Deathconsciousness.

"My Dreaming Hill" is a fantastic opener. It immerses the listener in an electromagnetic solar wind of raucous, psychedelic shoegaze fuzz. I could practically disintegrate into dust just listening to this track, and slowly disappear into the night.

"Wish" is as kinda poppy as this record gets. It makes a beautiful, decaying mess of its upbeat melody, with razor sharp haze jutting out in all directions like a accretion disk. "Popul Vuh 1" and "2" are two parts of an ambient experimental rock song placed in different parts of the album, not immediately following one another but instead serving kind of like intermissions from the rougher noise rock timbres of the rest of the record.

Neither of these tracks have very much to do with shoegaze at all if I'm being honest, but they are both some of my favourite moments on this record, particularly the enchanting extended 10 minutes of "Popul Vuh 1". If reincarnation existed, I would like to think that the time spent in between lives either sounds or just feels something very akin to the atmosphere on these pieces. its as if in this moment, nothing exists but your consciousness and the vastness of the universe.

The somber closer "The Season is Ours" is probably the track that most perfectly evokes the very kind of imagery chosen to be the cover art of Flying Saucer Attack's debut. It is soothing, but also has this mild unease of dread. An entirely solitary feeling permeates.

I totally get that to some people, this will just sound like loud shoegaze recorded on a potato, especially if you aren't paying attention to the background textures. I readily admit that this is certainly a grower as a record, with maybe one or two tracks that are probably a bit too noisy for their own good.

And if you're the kind of person to get headaches from loud noises, then I'd steer very fucking clear of this one If I were you. But I love this project. There's just a really immaculate balance struck between the unyielding, grainy, scratchy guitar fuzz that dominates the record, and the very restrained vocals and glum atmosphere created by Rachel's bass.

It's one of those records that sounds exactly how you'd think it would sound based on the cover and the title, but definitely in a good way. Flying Saucer Attack is one of the most wholly complete album experiences of the original first wave of shoegaze, with a clear and bold artistic vision to match its marvelous blend of guitar sounds, making the band feel very ahead of their peers at the time.

What Came After That?

Flying Saucer Attack is supposedly still an active band, but Rachel Brooks left decades ago around the time of the second record, and releases have been few and far between ever since the 2000s.

Dave Pearce's focus and output has increasingly shifted away from shoegaze to the more of the spacey, ambient stuff on tracks like "Popul Vuh 1" and "2". He released the most recent LP under the bands' name in 2015, simply titled "Instrumentals 2015". Not exactly a genius when it comes to naming his projects, but I'll give him a pass cause the record I just reviewed kicks plenty of ass. Check it out.

9/10

Highlights: "My Dreaming Hill", "Popul Vuh 1", "Popul Vuh 2", "Wish", "The Season Is Ours", "A Silent Tide"

[realwaldojeffers]

oh no worries about answering late, i understand you completely - i'm getting ready for my finals too, finishing all assignments i was supposed to do during the year but ignored until now 🤣 glad you're free now!

we're actually studying in pretty similar fields i think? i used to be a languages major but dropped out, now i'm majoring in marketing. and english isn't my first language either. i used to write in my native one exclusively, now it's the other way around haha. what other languages do you speak?

ooh i love when you discover artists thanks to other artists! so some more basic questions: what are your favorite albums/eras/songs?

and also have you seen velvet goldmine? i'm really not sure how i discovered bowie and lou but it could've been through this movie tbh!

-❄️ (i sign like this so you know it's me since you have two santas! and my name is daniel btw!)

Hope all your works are going well! And also wish you have the best holiday season after you are finally free from all the assignments 😅

Woah that’s niceeee! Exciting to know that you are doing marketing cause I’m pretty bad at it lol. I have never studied any other marketing except the linguistic branding one which is compulsory courses but from what I see I know that my brain is not made for it

Anyway, my first lang is Thai and I do speak a bit of French and Spanish but quite badly. Wby?

For the question ~ I think 70s is my fav music era as I feel like it was very bold and experimental in a strange way that fit just right to my taste, especially with Bowie! My fav Bowie era would be The Plastic Soul 74-76, around the late Diamonds Dog and Young American/Thin White Duke. And ofc my fav album is Station To Station (i am basic hahaha)

For VU if I have to pick one album out of four (I just expose myself that I count Loaded as VU and I do not count Squeeze 😂), I would say White Light/White Heat as i think this album is VU at their rawest form. Personally, I think the banana album is better both lyrically and musically but WL/WH just has the kick that I prob wouldn’t find on other bands

Okay enough about VU lmao

Yes I LOVE Velvet Goldmine!!!! This movie never failed to delight me. Idk if it’s because I get so much entertainment from picking up bit and pieces abt Bowie, Lou, and Iggy Pop rather than actually like the plot but still… I enjoy it and that’s enough 🤣

Plus it is really a ao3 -style Bowie/Lou/Iggy fanfics and who wouldn’t love that hahaha

Thank you for all the great interaction and questions! I have no clue who you are but I enjoy talking to you so much my friend.

So before I end this, here are some questions and requests from me to you 😙

What is your 3 favorite artist/bands

Which albums/song/live-show (could be anything) of them you would recommend to me?

Best,

Tawan