#this piece takes like like 3 yrs mostly bc i put it down at one point and Forgor

[fat-rolls-frictions]

check my pinned for commission info, and find my tip jar at buymeacoffee.com/mt110304 !

[dastardlydandelion]

So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)

oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!

two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:

horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.

billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.

baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.

max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂

susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.

she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.

billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…

yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.

neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.

nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.

so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.

once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.

nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.

billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.

nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!

max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.

nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3

horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.

one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.

sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.

neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.

max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.

but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?

that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.

max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.

this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.

the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?

they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.

he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.

it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.

max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.

neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.

his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.

max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.

in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.

“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”

quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.

neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?

it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.

she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.

but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?

up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.

horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.

killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!

this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅

this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.

how does the rest of the fam get it on this?

max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.

billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.

after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.

horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).

billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!

needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.

hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.

he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.

max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.

there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.

“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.

max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.

speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.

albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.

max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.

sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.

but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.

max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.

then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.

max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.

when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.

[skin-slave]

Why I love the Hatchet series:

Kickass music, esp in #1 and #2, but mostly #1

Complimentary Chips Ahoy

Tony Todd

Victor Crowley did nothing wrong. He is the only true innocent. The disconnect of a completely pure "monster" and revenge-seeking, selfish, asshole "heros" (esp in Hatchet 2) is delightfully jarring.

Kane Hodder

Excellent transitions between movies, perfect for marathons (slightly less so for the last one, but it's 10 yrs later, so they get a pass)

Sid Haig

Interesting deaths, not just chopping

The idea of a person trapped in the night of their death for eternity, frightened and in pain, is ptsd visibility

At least one complete piece of shit per film, so there's that one death that's sooooo satisfying

Leslie Vernon reference

Danielle Harris and her rbf

When Jack hands her a warm drink to help her calm down but it's piss. I know that doesn't sound that funny, but it is.

Dude can flip a plane

Victor's design is very much a "deformed" body horror play, which has the potential to be really ableist, but considering that his design is so exaggerated and his humanity is clearly shown, I'd say it's pretty decent overall.

Guts are nice quality

The fact that Perry Shen plays Andrew in the first one, Andrew's brother Justin in #2, and the completely unrelated Andrew Yong in 3 and 4 (VC), and they wait till the third movie to make a "hey this guy kinda looks like you" joke, countered by "why, bc we're Asian?" Which is an artistic move in and of itself. Bc yeah, it's funny, bc it's the same actor. But also, if you didn't notice it was the same actor, and had to look it up, it calls your biases into question. Did you not notice bc you aren't good with faces, or bc you subconsciously dismissed his characters as less important? If you did, then why? Did you put these movies in to be reminded to unlearn racist beliefs? No? Too bad.

The theme of childhood violence and accountability

Robert Englund

Vernon's stupid song

Laura Ortiz iykwimaityd

The fact that older Victor was played by Kane Hodder, bc of course he was, but young Victor was played by actress Rileah Vanderbilt in the first 2 films, who also had an unmasked role in #3.

That moment when Trent has Victor pinned and you're like, "shit, maybe this guy can take him."

Dillon, King of the Himbos

Blood fountains

"Tell me this is part of the tour" as the boat sinks

Kathleen's pill organizer full of various habit-forming prescriptions

Kathleen's justification for having a pill organizer full of various habit-forming prescriptions - "I get migraines when I do things."

Rev. Zombie's fake-ass snake-handler intro

The lesson on the dangers of improper use of fireworks

Joel David Moore

The pilot's tone of voice

Posthumous reveals of even worse shit that makes you even happier that Doug is dead

The guy who goes to the book signing, whips out his dick to be signed, and says he's gonna tell "the facebooks" that Yong is homophobic for not signing it like wtf is happening

Sets are really good actually

The fact that they didn't even come close to making their budgets back and they still made 4 of them and are teasing a 5th. That is art for the joy of art, folks.

[borom1r]

ilja asks!!!! th one who inspired me to create my own disciple oc!!! I would like to hear abt like. how he operates as a disciple perhaps? like what he does primarily if that makes sense (kinda like lawrence w his medical procedures). I also wld like to hear abt him + lawrence - their dynamic, how their relationship develops/what led them to becoming romantic, and what they do after john's death if they do anything at all? (also whatever his relationship is w hoffman and mandy if all of that isn't too much bfjdjshs. It doesn't have to be super in depth I just love yr ocs!!!)

YESS YES YES ok he was a metalworker so he rlly just. welds shit n actually builds th parts of the traps. John n Mandy design them, Ilja builds the bigger pieces (Mandy will build smaller/more delicate traps; for Ilja, think things like the motel trap), and Ilja n Hoffman will assemble them (or just Hoffman if it needs to be transported to an outside location first). Ilja is also just. the most awful little shit and he relishes in the fact that he gets to spend extended periods of time around Hoffman while fully aware of th fact that Hoffman hates him. he has Almost died many MANY times. it is Always worth it.

which is a good springboard for his relationships w Mandy n Hoffman! hehe..

Ilja LOVES Mandy to bits. he views her as a sister and would genuinely go out of his way to protect her from harm. thts part of the reason Hoffman hasn't just choked him th fuck out before— bc it would bring Mandy AND Lawrence's fury down on him n yknow what? Hoffman's smart enough to know he Doesn't Want That. Ilja's also more likely to act out in front of Mandy bc he does genuinely enjoy having an audience; if he's alone w/ Hoffman he's more likely to just put his earbuds in n completely ignore Mark, which is the only reason any work gets done.

As far as Hoffman goes, all u rlly need to know is that Hoffman hates Ilja with a burning passion and Ilja thinks this is just fucking hilarious. Ilja also has just. an extremely rancid sense of humor. (in a world where Amanda survives III, just imagine all of them in the kitchen at Jigsaw Central one morning n Ilja asking, completely deadpan, what Mark is using Strahm's hand for— "'cause, y'know, guys have needs. and if I had my dead crush's hand in a cooler, well... I can think of plenty of ways t'take care of those needs! he sure didn't give ya a hand when he was alive!")

as far as Lawrence goes.... ok the best way i can explain th juxtaposition between Ilja with Lawrence VS Ilja with Hoffman is this. except Ilja is chasing Hoffman w/ a portable welding torch (which can cause VERY deep burns bc they're high-pressure) while Lawrence drinks tea and reviews the latest Elaborate Jigsaw Game ("GET YOUR FUCKING BOYFRIEND UNDER CONTROL" "he's harmless." "NO THE FUCK HE'S NOT!!!")

it does actually take some time for Lawrence to.. warm up to the idea of befriending Ilja? because genuinely Ilja shares a lot of personality traits w/ Adam (hello OC i made in th process of questioning Adam <3). which means for a while Lawrence kind of held Ilja at a distance— except Ilja is persistent and brings him Starbucks and happily listens to Lawrence talk about his interests and, slowly, Lawrence warmed up to Ilja's presence. When they grew closer, Ilja asked Lawrence out n he was Very happy tht Lawrence said yes! Ilja is essentially a very affectionate cat w/ Lawrence— he loves to just plop down in Lawrence's lap n distract him to goad him into taking a break from work when he thinks Lar's overdoing it, or if Lawrence is on the couch Ilja will lay down w/ his head in Lawrence's lap n just fall asleep Right There. Lawrence.. won't Admit it but he does love th casual affection (it makes him feel.. i don't want to say more human but it certainly helps ground Lawrence. they are both bastard disciples but also Lawrence Isn't Alone Anymore and that.. that's big for him)

n as far as what they do after John dies, Ilja mostly follows Lawrence's lead— Hoffman hated him so it's not surprising that Ilja dips out as soon as Lawrence does, and when the opportunity comes to KILL Hoffman? oh Ilja is DELIGHTED. Ilja is actually the one to handle freeing up that shackle for Hoffman, to minimize the amount of time Lawrence wld have to spend in the bathroom. once that's taken care of they do just settle down fully, but as far as like. immediate aftermath, it does shake Lawrence to be back n that room n see Adam's corpse... he's very grateful Ilja is there + helps him through the resurgence in nightmares.....

[brvdleymilligan]

HLO slinks in thru a bead curtain.......... truly sry this took me so long to concoct bt i’m here now, hand on hip, smiling coyly at u all...... i’m nai n i’m rly excited to b here so i’ll just dive right in!! u can find bradley’s pinterest board here n her muse tag here. like this or hmu for plots!

[ cis female, she/her, margaret qualley , twenty-four ] i can’t be sure, but i think i just saw BRADLEY MILLIGAN drive onto the parkway. don’t they know we’re not supposed to be driving on that haunted road right now? maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re so +RESILIENT and -VOLATILE that makes them feel UNPHASED about everything going on. i guess we could also chalk it up to the fact that they’re always reminding me of LEMON IN A FRESH CUT, THE AMBER BLINK OF AN ANGRY ALLEY CAT, GRINNING WITH BLOOD ON YOUR TEETH. either way, i hope they get back safely. [ nai, she/her, 24, gmt ]

aesthetics: singeing a hole in your fishnets with the cherry of a menthol, spitting a pistachio behind the bar just to hear it ping off the nozzle top bottles, lemon in a fresh cut, a war torn poppy standing alone in an empty field, pressing thumbs to yellow bruises, stomping over flowerbeds when there’s a path right besides it, dangling over ledges just to feel your chest jolt, a snarling rottweiler that needs muzzling, limp feet poking out behind a door, ‘I PROMISE I DON’T BITE’ scrawled on a name tag, slapping a bald head in front of you at the cinema like it’s a bongo, not owning a single jacket that isn’t stolen, driving a stranger’s car down the wrong lane against the screaming traffic, hair more feral than a wolf cub and eyes smudgier than a coal mine.  

BACKGROUND:

ok SO. her father owns a strip club in crescent hill named no angels. it’s kind of.... a seedy establishment i won’t lie. hs a red glowing sign like it’s lighting up a window in amsterdam. cigarette butts floating in oil slick puddles outside. unsavoury characters crawling all over like rats in a sewer. despite this it’s a legitimate business on the surface of things n it does pretty well in trade. it’s like.... that place people warn u NOT to have ur bachelor party at unless u fancy urself the type tht willingly enters a lion’s den bt tht almost??? adds to the allure in a way??? ppl r like wow so sketchy it’s the thrill of a lifetime........ i mean run while u still can bt go off i guess

it isn’t Confirmed Public Knowledge bt it’s pretty heavily implied thru the rumour mill that bradley’s father is the head of a gang of rly............ Not Nice people. all the ppl that work for him u would hands down NOT want to run into in a dark alley. while things seem legitimate on the suface it’s pretty clear they’re into shady dealings n the townsfolk that suspect that would indeed b correct! the club’s a front for a drug business n they’re also washing n running counterfeit cash thru it. they probably also have their hands dipped into a few other local businesses to run their cash thru these too n keep it all seemingly by the books so nobody comes sniffing around. they even r friends with a member of local law enforcement that’s working w them for a cut so they honestly have all bases covered to keep things airtight n foolproof. perhaps a business in reed too which bradley oversees bt i haven’t given this Too Much thought as of yet??

so ya she’s grown up fairly local most of her life n would maybe be known around town as such.................. the milligans r certainly Interesting as far as families go so like. it honestly wldn’t surprise me if ppl nudge elbows when they see one of them coming n immediately walk in the opposite direction. just quite an intimidating presence...... they’re like caged animals where ur specifically instructed NOT to stick ur fingers between the bars bc they WILL bite

on a more personal note her dad is pretty much the worst human being alive n bradley hs like….. a lot of issues with herself as a result of years of toxicity n abuse

in terms of more family bkground info her mum’s name was alyssa n she vanished when bradley was 12. jst like…. into thin air. nothing. no note. zilch. gan! n when bradley asked her dad abt it his response was essentially “guess she didn’t love us enough to stay”. as bradley’s got older tho n become (without intention) more involved in the business side of things, it’s become pretty clear there was far more to the story.

(abuse tw) they had a horrible marriage n tony ws emotionally manipulative at the best of times, violent at worst, which didn’t help the fact tht alyssa ws struggling a lot w severe depression n rly just… not in the mindset to b dealing w anything else, even where motherhood ws concerned. bradley p much… would look after her a lot n they’d both b scared of her dad n it was just a whole unhealthy mess.

(death implied tw) anyway im rambling bt basically tony (bradley’s dad) gt wind of alyssa sleeping w men tht worked fr him n he just… got rid. bradley’s kind of worked out over the yrs tht her mum didn’t jst leave on her own accord n tht something must hav happened to her bt she’s too scared of her dad to ever directly accuse him

when her mum went all of her dad’s cruelty pretty mch got channelled straight onto her. it ws diluted between two before bt as u can probably imagine her upbringing was jst…. a steep downhill decline

(drugs implied tw) she learnt ways 2 deal w the incurring trauma bt they weren’t healthy ones at all! bsically jst. will do or take anything fr the distraction. chases a thrill like it’s the only way to remind her she’s alive. has absolutely no regard fr her own wellbeing n often gets other ppl in trouble too bc she’s so insatiably reckless

(hospitalisation tw) she hd….2 separate stints of psychiatric hospitalisation n she never tlks abt it. like ever. acknowledging she’s been vulnerable is her worst nightmare n bc of the way her dad raised her she always thinks any sign of struggling within herself is weakness. truly does…. not kno how to properly emotion

CUT TO!!!! the present. she’s currently living at the motel which is like. the least homely place she cld ever live rly but bradley loves making her life uncomfortable n doesn’t rly believe in growing sentimentally attached to anything if she cn help it <3 probably gets into arguments all the time w her neighbours it’s a whole thing.... atrocious at feeding herself has breakfasts frm the vending machine like her organs aren’t screaming fr vegetables.... plays music too loud n sometimes vanishes for days at a time without a word. she’s a lot.

i honestly feel like the murders haven’t rly phased bradley too hugely....... i won’t lie she probably genuinely is like. oh maybe it’s smthn to do w my dad. n just blinks the other way not rly that phased. on some subconscious level i think she rly just thinks........ death follows her wherever she goes n is like. this is just life for me! kind of depressing. holds her hand bt then screams n pulls away when she inevitably bites me.

PERSONALITY:

the kind of sour cherry only certain people have a taste for

once drank a bottle of whiskey, insisted she could still do a cartwheel and accidentally kicked an old man’s front tooth out in the process. proceeded 2 collapse into a flower bed and laugh so much abt it that she cried

barely takes anything seriously 50% of the time and is angry the other 50%

if she was a coffee she’d be black with five grains of sugar that you couldn’t taste until the last sip

(alcoholism tw) high functioning alcoholic. if u ever see her w a coffee cup u jst kno tht one sniff will confirm high alcohol percentage. honestly idk hw she does it her liver must b yellin

loyal to a point of fault. if she cares abt u (rare) and u murder a man in cold blood (not so rare in the broad scheme of bradley’s life) she’ll brawl anyone that says ur guilty

honestly wld probably fight a person over anything. sometimes she’ll jst be having a bad day n she’ll burst n take it out on whoever says the wrong thing. minefield!

has the worst luck in romance…. ever. ALL her past bfs hav been absolute beasts n as a result she has the ‘romance is dead n love is a lie’ mentality. definitely NOT a romantic. very cut n dry abt these things. sex is mostly just sex n she’d kind of scoff at anyone that wanted more from her

mostly wears stolen clothes from strangers and jackets that swamp her. huge chunky stomping boots with steel toe caps that would RLY bruise if they gave u a kick. hair is p much always a wild mess n she usually hs kind of smudgy/smoky makeup bcos apparently she’s allergic to combs and generally looking presentable… relatable content. the only time she rly looks put together is when she has to do something/go somewhere/see someone on behalf of her father....... he kind of uses her as a sort of. honey pot sometimes fr shit his gang get up to it’s like. not! a way u should ever utilise ur daughter but :/ i cannot stress enough how much i wna drop kick him in the neck

she’s v sarcastic. blunt. kind of has a habit of…. assessing a person n she’s quite perceptive bc she’s been trained to b by the way she always has to monitor her dad’s expression fr the slightest emotion change. she’s very confident n can p much mke a conversation out of whatever if she feels like it. independent too like she hs a bunch of (predominantly surface connection) friends bt she doesn’t care abt going out places alone n does this often. she’s probably kind of known around town bt itd b a 50/50 balance between bein known as intimidating n bein known as that one girl tht always gets into anarchy

likes: drunken snow angels that drag on so long they flirt with pneumonia, stealing cars, throwing watermelons off rooftops to watch them explode, shooting pedestrian’s with bb guns from hidden spots on rooftops. 

dislikes: telling the truth, tulips so yellow it’s like they’re gloating, playing music loud enough to fry your brain and serve it on a piece of toast, going home.

PLOTS:

someone tht works at the ‘no angels’ strip club?? either as a dancer or bartender or whtever. just a forewarning it’s probably gna b a pretty….. seedy and Not That Pleasant environment bc it’s like. a crime hotspot inevitably bc it’s a gang hangout so. ur chara wld truly be in fr a rollercoaster ride to say the least

(drugs tw) she deals coke fr her dad’s gang so perhaps ur muse buys off her

anyone….. she’s brawled in the past like. she’s literally a menace i cnt express this enough. wil jst randomly throw a drink in someone’s face fr no reason bc she’s bored. she’s probably pissed off 1000 diff ppl in 1000 diff ways. the possibilities r endless n i jst think tht’s a sexy prospect!

fwbs perhaps??? exes??? (probably ws a tumultuous relationship honestly bradley is. a handful...... it’s also rly not often she ties herself down tbh so this would maybe have to b discussed/be circumstantial/kind of rare)

mayb someone tht she met at an aa meeting when she hd to go fr a court mandated thing one time after bein arrested fr public indecency. i feel like there’s probably a rly expensive statue somewhere thts fancily sculpted n she like. did a flying kick n broke the dick of it off n gt arrested fr it

ppl she……. Goes Wild Goes Crazy w. truly jst the most self destructive person alive so anyone w a similar mindset wld b a hellish bt fun combination

on the contrary a gd influence cld b nice perhaps? like someone tht genuinely cares abt her n she jst doesn’t kno hw to compute it

maybe people who r her neighbours that live at the motel too??

OH it could b fun if ur muse runs or works at a local business maybe like. a bar? idk? n bradley n ur muse have developed a rapport bc she frequents the place n is................ a Character

um. honestly the world’s our oyster. hmu n we cn brainstorm if none of tht catches ur eye!

[strvwberryblcnde]

👫 preston & scout

send a 👫 and I’ll write four headcanons i have about our muses’ relationship.

i cn imagine them somehow being wrangled into babysitting fr her sister bethan one time n.... she has three kids who r all young (like 6, 7 n 7 bc she had twin boys then a girl) n they’re all a handful in their own way. the boys r SO boisterous n loud like they’re truly feral n the girl is very.... like scout bt..... an outspoken n absolutely fearless version...... the only time she’s quiet is when she’s reading a book. anyway. i cn see scout n preston being run RAGGED hving to look after these demons like the boys wld slap mud prints onto the wallpaper..... they’d pull drawers out looking fr their confiscated toys when they misbehaved n cutlery wld crash bc it’d fall on the floor... they’d run away frm the scene of this crime after..... bebe scout wld be like..... UR THE UGLIEST BOYS I’VE EVER KNOWN..... AND I HATE U!!!!! hurling crayons at her brothers fr their mischief... n scout n preston wld have to somehow neutralise all of this chaos. it wld be exhausting. i cn anticipate it mounting frustrations n tensions to the point where scout n preston might even bicker between themselves jst over stupid stuff like scout being like preston u can’t give them chocolate before they’ve had their dinner n preston being like cmon.... let them live a little...... this isn’t a dictatorship... n scout being like do u WANT them to b bouncing off the WALLS???? literally like a married couple.... they’d finally manage to put them to bed in bethan’s room (which ws renovated into a room w three beds fr them to stay in when bethan needs help aka needs scout to babysit) n scout wld usher preston frm the room to let them settle n once she thought he wasn’t watching she’d tuck each in n kiss their heads n be like love u hell spawns. then she’d go dwn n eye preston on the couch frm the doorway like >_> bt still go to get them a beer each..... i cn picture literally by the time she returns frm the kitchen preston being asleep bc the children r relentless.... n even if they’d been bickering a bunch scout wld roll her eyes n kind of smile abt it n swig her beer then put it dwn n grab a blanket n carefully tuck it over him so he didn’t catch a cold in their drafty house w a faulty boiler.......... sickening.

this is related to scout’s nephews n niece again bt in summer they always play in the yard w the hose n i can picture scout n preston having like.... a fight in the morning mayb n her storming dwnstairs n leaving him to get dressed n leave or whatever jst childishly........ n then by the time he got down if it ws summer the kids wld be prancing around outside n shrieking up a storm as scout sat angrily in a fold out chair watching over them........ mayb they’d all b like PRESTON PRESTON STAY N PLAY n he’d be like i’m gna head home............... n they’re like NO PLAY W US PLAY W US n one of the boys even sprays him w the hose. mayb preston wld join in playing w them just picking him up n pretending to fling him around n they’d all be laughing n screaming n scout wld be a tiny bit mellowed by this bt still stubbornly clinging to being mad...... her niece is like SCOUT PLAY WITH US PLAY WITH US n she’s like maybe in a bit. i cn imagine preston spraying her w a little bit of water frm the hose to b childish kind of joining in w the kids being a nuisance n scout being like WTF??????? n then snatching the hose off him n spraying him bk n it just breaking into an all out war where they’re trying to get the hose off each other n both end up soaking wet n she breaks  n laughs n he’s picking her up as the kids all cackle n scream. their fight jst somehow resolved in the space of half an hr when they were jst on the verge of another stupid breakup............. this tumultuous relationship........ no wonder their friends r sick of them.

scout’s dad is...... certainly a character n she hasn’t heard from him in yrs bt he made a big reputation fr himself in town to say the least.... was just in w some rly shady ppl n always fucking everyone over fr his own selfish agenda.... truly jst a liability to b associated w nvm to have as a husband/father so the wilders rly.... went thru it a bit w him. it ws like being buckled into a rollercoaster. nw he’s been gone a few yrs they’ve managed to pick up some of the shrapnel he left behind bt there’s still pieces n tht’s evident in the fact tht every so often guys he used to run w will come knocking trying to shake them dwn fr debts Poppa Wilder still owes them. he’s on the run frm the law nw n they hv no idea where he is bt they still have to deal w these repercussions. anyway. scout is very much like... I Will Deal With Everything In The World On My Own bt with luca in prison, jasper out n about all the time n rarely home sometimes bc he’s a free spirit, her mum working long night shifts n sleeping thru the day n her sister bethan being moved out w kids a lot of the time it’s..... just scout in the house which she wld never admit gets rly lonely after growing up w a big hectic family. i cn imagine one of these guys waiting fr scout after her shift at the diner n just asking her again when he’s gna get his money n her being like fr the last time idk where my waste of space father is!!!!!! n he wouldn’t make a threat or anything bt he knows where they live so tht night i feel like scout wld be kind of nervous n peering out of the curtains a lot jst On Guard in case he shows up to take wht he’s owed by fleecing the place or smthn. mostly paranoia idk if he actually wld bt. scout wld just be kind of scared sleeping there alone n even if she’d wna deal w it on her own i feel like she’d put off contacting preston until pretty late when she’d eventually snap n just be like. can u stay over tonight? n she wouldn’t text it either which is kind of unusual fr her bc she mostly texts bt she’d wna hear his voice to calm her a little i think. again none of this wld b verbalised she wouldn’t even tell him abt this situation bc she tries to be independent as possible n not rely on anyone else fr anything bt......... it would calm her down a lot when he arrived n ws sleeping nxt to her. i feel like his laidback attitude is quite gd for her in tht respect like it has a soothing effect at times..... others perhaps not bt <3 miley cyrus life’s a climb.....

i feel like her ex............. wld not be happy abt scout dating preston. he’s quite a loose canon / volatile character n jst............... scrappy.......... n antagonistic sometimes...... not the worst bt definitely not the best! honestly i feel like if he ever bumped into preston he wld maybe even pick a fight w him except he wouldn’t mention scout he would just act like it wasn’t related bt it Would Be. if preston ws injured in any way via this then i can’t even express hw furious scout wld be she’d actually lose it a bit.... KJGFKHFKGHSFKGHS hell hath no fury like a scout wilder scorned <3 she’d nurse preston better if he had a bust lip or whtever (she’s quite gd at doing these things after yrs of living w reckless brothers who were always getting into fights n also hving a mother who’s in nursing n taught her first aid etc) n she literally wld refuse if he tried to be like i can do this myself she’d b like SIT. DOWN. stomping around the place grabbing her supplies n being so angry until it actually came to like.... dabbing his face where she’d b extremely gentle. stark contrast. she’d keep ranting abt how she was gna confront her ex fr it n even if preston was like just leave it she’d refuse at first then eventually be like ok :) w a tight lipped smile bt. the next day bc she knows where her ex hangs out she’d storm up to him on the street n jst fking RIP him a new one she’d b fully shouting at him unleashing such an ungodly rant w no fks given to who was watching..............if it was in a tv show i’d imagine her rampage all silent as opera music plays over the top n she’s jst yelling in slow motion as a child across the street gasps so loud at the multitude of swear words raining in his direction.... honestly i cn imagine this getting bk to preston w how public it was bt i get the feeling tht even tho he might’ve been like nah leave it he wld find her unbridled wrath funny n know it ws rooted in hw protective she is of those she loves which. as reluctant as she ever likes to admit it definitely includes him at this point.....

[ask-shakespearehigh]

Q&A post with the Mods!!!!

This is going to be a long one oh boy

How strict is the delineation of creative control vis-a-vis characters/plays between the mods? (@pedanticlecturer)

We generally have the plays split up along lines of “what we know”— we have a list at the very beginning of the blog. Sometimes we’ll draw the others’ characters (mostly me drawing some of Star’s…) but even then the final say on characterization is up to the “main” mod for that play — mod aster

what aster said -- mod star

What is your favorite play? What is your favorite character in terms of how they were written in the source material? (@pedanticlecturer)

I think my favorite play overall is Macbeth, just because I like the vibes (and the fact that I too could kill Macbeth), the fact that you don’t say it’s name in theatres, and the fact that it’s a play I did a full read through and analysis of in class. Favorite character? Puck from Midsummer. — mod aster

uhhhh,, hmm. ive always had a soft spot for midsummer since i saw it with aster esp bc of how fun the costumes were. of the comedies it has the largest potential to be the most visually pleasing bc of the concept of fairies,,,and im gay and dramatic so i love that. id die if i got to costume design for midsummer,,,or be in it,,,yeah. fav character. hmm. probably mercutio?? i recently saw a version of romeo and juliet where mercutio was played by a woman and oh my god it was amazing!!! not to mention mercutio’s portrayal in baz luhrmann's INCREDIBLE version of r n j!!! (I based my mercutio design on him) he just spends the entire time making dick jokes. love that. -- mod star

How do you answer asks so fast? I mean it's great but I'm impressed 😂 (Anon)

Personally, it’s a mix of: notifications on, quick drawing speed, and using the blog to avoid my class work — mod aster

aster is fast and (as you can see from all of my answers) im lazey -- mod star

Are there any elements/characters of the plays you're covering that you would have liked to work into this blog's plot, but couldn't due to the constraints of the setting or the synthetic nature of the blog? (@pedanticlecturer)

I wanted to make everyone gay but unfortunately due to plot constraints we have to have some hets but that wont stop me from making it lgbt as possible. -- mod star

I did want to make The Tempest more of a central play, but it just didn’t translate well. Similarly, other supernatural elements like the witches in Macbeth. This isn’t so much a constraint mentioned, but my own time/energy means that I want to show the Macbeth backstory, in a specific format, but I can’t right now— mod aster

Is there a hierarchy of import when it comes to each play's individualized impact on shakespeare high's general arc? If so, what plays are crucial to the foundation of the story? Which ones did you do mostly for shits and giggles? (@pedanticlecturer)

This is phrased like an ACT question and i might not answer it right so sorry in advance but: mod aster and i only selected a few plays for each of us to do given we dont know all of shakespeare’s works, but we tend to put more emphasis on the the more well known. But it also comes down to 1. How much we have plotted out for each play and 2. What the followers ask about most. Our two most popular are hamlet and macbeth bc people are familiar w those but around march caesar always becomes relevant again. I didnt even have designs for some of the characters until someone asked about them. -- mod star

I would say the same as star— it generally comes down to what people ask about. I will say that the overall plot is sort of separated into “has happened” and “is happening”. Like, the human potion of Midsummer, Julius Caesar, and Macbeth are all in the “aftermath” portion, while Twelfth Night, Hamlet, and Romeo and Juliet, among others, are happening. We’re trying to incorporate as much as we can, and I don’t think any of them were really put in without some thought.— mod aster

What personal significance does shakespeare hold in ur guys' lives? (@pedanticlecturer)

I go to a theater school rn and so ive dealt w shakespeare (although not all of them) it also helps that i was in loves labours lost last year as moth and that i read hamlet and r n j. Theres also a theater in my state that always does One Big Shakespeare per season and they always do them super well!!! My love for shakespeare probably started w seeing midsummer at that theater w mod aster!!! So. Theater kid rights!! -- mod star

To be honest, I got back into Shakespeare Because of the blog. I’ve been friends with some people that got really Pretentious about Shakespeare, and it kinda put me off of it. I did have a book of abridged plays (the plays’ plots written out in prose, basically) that I read as a kid, which is what got me into not only the plots of a lot of the plays, but also the idea of having them illustrated. And, same as star, the theater in state does the One Big Shakespeare— and they tend to do some really cool things with the costumes, setting them in diff time periods. I haven’t been able to see any lately since I’ve moved, but they still slap. — mod aster

🥰😘💙🥰🥰💜💟🥰I 😍💗💚😍😍LOVE🖤🖤 YALL ♥️♥️🧡💛💚💝❣️💕💘💖💗💓💞💝❤️💛💜 okay now i have a question i swear— how long have the two of you been doing art??? and what were your first shakespeare plays??? (@hellaghosts)

Uhh i started drawing when i was like idk 12 and i have the giant boxes of sketchbooks to prove it!!! I moved to digital art at abt 14-15 but mostly stayed traditional until this yr when i got a Neat New Tablet so some of my sketchbooks are sitting abandoned rip. My first shakespeare was either romeo and juliet or midsummer nights dream and i love both of them v much!!! I have a very old piece of art that i did for r n j for my freshman class assignment on it and it hasnt aged well alsdjfjafd circa 2016 i think??? -- mod star

Oh man. I started drawing when I was about 10, but it was Bad. I don’t think I got much into drawing again until I was about 14? Sometime around the end of middle school/beginning of high school. I would say I started getting into drawing as more than doodling/coloring edits sometime around 2015-16? I would draw on my iPad with my finger, then I got a tablet for my computer, and now I pretty much stick to my iPad with an Apple Pencil. My first Shakespeare play was….. uh…… probably Midsummer???? I have No idea. We would go to plays when I was little, so I honestly don’t remember if I saw others before. It may have been Romeo and Juliet— I had that book where it was the original and the “modernized” with the little dog that explained things— which, if you know it makes sense, but if you don’t is probably a bonkers answer. — mod aster

Do you think this blog has like? An overarching thesis (be it b/c intentionally or simply b/c ur own take on the world has bled thru to the point where u believe it’s central to the piece at this point)? (@pedanticlecturer)

Not gonna lie, I had to read that like three times AND dm you to figure out what you were asking from us and all I have is “be gay, respect women, write your own happy endings”. — mod aster

This blog started with an ides of march shitpost and you think we have enough brain energy to write a whole thesis? I projected feelings of found family onto my half of the blog but idk if that counts. Be gay do crime 420 69 -- mod star

What’s the nature/rough dynamic of ur relationship? How do y’all know each other? (@pedanticlecturer)

Met mod aster when i was like 4 and even tho we didnt live close we became like, best friends although the Best part didnt start until we were like 13-ish and eventually we talked like non stop (about anime and homestuck. Yknow. 13 year old kid things) and we didnt see each other a lot bc of Distance and now its even worse bc aster is in colleg.,e but we consider each other siblings regardless of family bc we’re adopted into our own respective families so that bled over into our friendship and it would feel weird calling him anything other than my brother now. We’ve seen each other at our best and worst and if you really want a good insight on what we’re like as siblings watch griffin and justin mcelroy’s overview video of catlateral damage wherein i am griffin and he is the long suffering justin. -- mod star

Star is basically my long distance sibling and functionally the only cousin I recognize bc like their parents are basically an aunt and uncle and like our dads look enough alike that we’ve both accidentally gotten the wrong dad for a hug or similar so like. Anyways yeah Star is the Griffin to my Justin, complete with our absent middle brother who we love dearly— mod aster

Dubiously relevant q but what kind of music do y’all listen to when u do art (if that is indeed a habit either of u partake in) (@pedanticlecturer)

It can depend on the piece? I was working on some (unrelated) oc prints that were song-focused, and for those I just listened to said song on loop. Sometimes I have playlists. Sometimes I’ll just be in a Mood and throw a song on loop. But a lot of time for the blog, I’ll listen to The Adventure Zone for the billionth time, because I have Too Much Attention. I’ve also, on request from Star, linked the most recent “loop song”.— mod aster

I tend to obsess over the same like 3 songs every few weeks so those get listened to on repeat but it also depends on the tone of what im drawing or who im drawing i might genre switch bc of that. If im drawing ophelia i stick to lana del rey and if im drawing hamlet its the neighborhood, horatio is sufjan stevens etc. i have categorized,. Most of the characters i draw into different songs/genres/energies of music but not like i ever follow that. Sometimes i just pull up a really long nonsense video and forget to draw. Essentially: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ -- mod star

How’d y’all come up with ur pseudonyms? (@pedanticlecturer)

I love space so much and my main blog is starryeydsailor space gay rights!! Im also tiny and full of energy and bright so basically i;m star -- mod star

Uhhhh i was like “hey i want to do uhhhhhh flower?” And then I google searched flower names until I found one I liked —- mod aster

How did you end up deciding the rough timeline of events in canon? (@pedanticlecturer)

It’s mostly determined by like. How we choose per story? If that makes sense. Like, we just take story by story, and decide “is it happening, has it happened, and when?” And then we fit them together in relation to each other just by dint of. All existing at once. Like, I knew I wanted Macbeth to be in aftermath, because like, even though there’s no murder, the way I’ve translated it to the AU is still kinda heavy, and it’s something that I don’t know that I could do properly if it were happening right now. Also, it’s more interesting IMO to have them at different times. Tl;dr we wing it per story and slot them together— mod aster (mod star agrees I just can word better, in theory)

If you could tell the story of shakespeare high in a different format than an ask blog, would you? Obviously y'all are making very good use of the format, but would you want to write this as a animated series or like? a comic book? or is the form inseparable from the story? (@pedanticlecturer)

I kinda wanted to do a webcomic or maybe to plot develop through like, animatics but the element of surprise comes from the asks we get and really makes us think so the blog is a good start. We didnt think we’d get this far -- mod star

Pretty much what Star said— there are certain elements where it’d be neat to do as a comic or as an animatic. Like, the fantasy dream is like, an anthology webcomic of each story, where you can like, see other characters in the background and stuff. But to be honest, we develop a lot by what we’re asked— there was a post about developing worldbuilding by being asked questions and then pretending you’ve thought about the answer, and it’s not far off. Personally, it’s hard to just lay out a story, because I have a whole WORLD and what’s relevant? What are people interested in? It’s by getting questions that I can then focus in on an area to develop. And yeah, we Super didn’t think we’d get this far lmao — mod aster

Any headcanons about your characters that you don't think will ever come up on the blog through asks or plot posts? (@pedanticlecturer)

I could make a whole separate post for this!!!!! Mostly its voice headcanons (and by mostly i mean like 1 or 2) or relationship hcs!!!! -- mod star

Honestly same. I don’t think I have voice headcanons for mine, though I bet I could find some. I’ve got a bunch of miscellaneous headcanons that just kinda float around, but like they’re scattered, too numerous for this post, and also not always things I’m sure are canon yet.— mod aster

[crafiet]

1-50 of the writers ask thingy, tell me everything :D

D:

1 : What age-group do you write?adult! ive always written characters my age or a few years older

2 : What genre do you write?sff, mostly fantasy

3 : Do you outline according to big ideas or small details?hmmm, i guess small details? when i get an idea, i get an idea for single scenes or pieces of dialogue or a certain character, so i piece together an outline from that. but i have trouble with a overarching plot lol

4 : Which do you prefer–line-editing or plot-revisions?line-editing, i love editing. revisions suck bc it takes me 10,000 yrs to come up with an idea and now i have to replace it with another??? blasphemous

5 : Do you write better with or without deadlines?ive written my whole life without deadlines except for when i tried nano last year and failed. so without i guess, but then i dont have anything to convince me to write more lmao

6 : What would be the biggest compliment you could hope to receive on your current WIP?idk probably that its someones favourite book, or to see fanart *.*

7 : How long is your current WIP?26,305 words, its a rewrite heh

8 : What author would you be most excited to be compared to?hummmmmm,,,idk when people call new fantasy books “the next game of thrones” it sounds so fake lol but idk who my favourite author is...

9 : What do you struggle most with as a writer?writing

10 : Do you brain-storm story ideas alone or with others?mostly alone but YOU, ASH, help sometimes. its good to get an objective ear

11 : Do you base your characters off of real people?nah lol, im not good at characters

12 : Is your writing space clean or cluttered?clean

13 : Do you write character-driven or plot-driven stories?plot-driven. my writing is extremely fast paced, and i dont tend to like reading character-driven works

14 : Do you have a favorite writing-related quote?ive answered this in previous ask. the 'drunk on writing’ one by ray bradbury

15 : If you transport your original characters into another author’s world, which world would you choose?everyone else’s worlds are so harsh lol maybe id put them in atla so they can fuck around w bending

16 : Would your story work better as a movie or tv show? Why?miniseries ﾟ*｡(･∀･)ﾟ*｡ but it would lend itself to a movie yeah

17 : Do you make soundtracks for each story?nah, lazy ass

18 : If you could assign your story one song, what would it be?unbecoming by starset

19 : Would you rather live in your characters’ world, or have your characters come live in our world?honestly? i wanna escape capitalism and wield a sword

20 : What book would you love to see adapted for the big or small screen?zero world by jason m hough!!!! its a pretty big book i think a movie duology or a tv show would work!

21 : Do you finish most of the stories you start?no

22 : Has your own writing ever made you cry?no lol 

23 : Are you proud or anxious to show off your writing?anxious cz im bad

24 : When did you start considering yourself a writer?i meannnnnnnn do i even now thoooooo

25 : What books are must-reads in your genre?sff is so broad, read whatever tf u want

26 : What would you like to see more of in your genre?diversity, not just in race gender sexuality but in fucking plots like damn give me something w a twist

27 : Where do you get inspiration from?real life, books, movies

28 : On a scale of 1-10, how much do you stress about choosing character names?about a 2, i just search on a generator until i find one i like im not a stickler for names nd i dont usually have placeholder names or anything

29 : Do you tend to underwrite or overwrite in a first draft?chronic underwriter hence the only 20k words

30 : Does writing calm you down or stress you out?calm me down, i have no control over my own life so its good to have complete control over my oc’s lives. i dont tend to have the ‘characters run away from me’ thing, but probably bc i dont see it like that lol

31 : What trope do you actually like?ride-or-die, charas who are knowledgeable and badass from the beginning, i hate following the character learning to do something lmao im impatient

32 : Do you give your side-characters extensive backstories?depends on the side character, every character is fleshed out to an extent but i dont do a massive family tree or anything

33 : Do you flesh-out characters before you write, or let their personalities develop over time?i tend to create characters before plot so i would say i know them pretty well before starting but i do let them develop naturally within the story without forcing them into any box

34 : Describe your old writing in one word.tryhard

35 : Is it more fun to write villains or heroes?mmm both have their merits, i went through a phase where i loved villains but a warped heroes journey or a morally grey/anti-hero can be super good too

36 : Do you write with a black and white sense of morality?nah, murky

37 : What’s one piece of advice you would give to new writers?try anything. anything it doesnt matter if ur nervous or you ‘dont write in that genre’ or you dont even like that genre. its good to train yourself and go out of your comfort zone, makes u a better writer imo. also dont read this and think ‘im not writing an entire historical romance novel bc i hate it’ i mean just one shots. a paragraph or two. try out writing prompts, it really flexes ur skillsalso dont feel like everything u have to write will be published, thats what i mean by try out little paragraphs or prompts. let go of this idea that any of this work will see the light of day [unless u rly want it to] and just have fun, go wild, go crazy, go stupid

38 : What’s one piece of writing advice you try–but fail–to follow?its mostly those ones that help u have cleaner, more beautiful writing. i write really beige-like and its hard to be poetic or flowery

39 : How important is positive reinforcement to you as a writer?probably super important

40 : What would you ask your favorite author if given one question?when ur next book out

41 : Do you find it distracting to read while you’re writing a first draft?nah

42 : Do critiques motivate or discourage you?ive never really had many, so i would say discourage bc i dont have a thick skin with my writing

43 : Do you tend to write protagonists like yourself or unlike yourself?unlike myself, i like to write bold, confident characters and im not that lol escapism much

44 : How do you decide what story idea to work on?whichever interests me the most at the moment, i can jump between projects easily so i dont have a problem 

45 : Do you find it harder or easier to write when you’re stressed out?harder, i cant look at my writing if im stressed else ill absolutely hate it and might do something drastic like delete it all lol

46 : What Hogwarts house would your protagonist(s) be in?ary is slytherincyri is ravenclawash is gryffindorcaena is slytherin [i dont know how to spell the house names]

47 : Where do you see yourself as a writer in five years?still writing id hope

48 : Would you ever co-write?nah

49 : Are you a fast and rushed writer or a slow and deliberate writer?i used to be fast and rushed bc i was so impatient i just wanted to see the end product but i realised that i really love being in the world of my wips as long as possible so i draw it out and really mull everything over

50 : Would you rather be remembered for your fantastic world-building or your lifelike characters?both lol? i do love worldbuilding but i think characters make a greater impact

[chelsanitys]

anon post

for all 3 of my fans

i live for ur wit and sass

thx n same

Dont fuck with the best! Kate works hard to get the craziest anons to post in her yard, and I've got nothing but respect. There's no fan in the fandom as genuine and earnest as she is. Wishing her and her cats a long and healthy life!

lmao yall need to quit

you've probably answered this already but what do you think will give vm the best shot at the OG?

a good short dance + a good free dance + gui missing the catch-foot on his twizzle again

Are you taking the bar exam this summer?

no i just finished my first yr

I will cry if T&S end up together, They would be a horrible match. Surely I'm not the only one who sees this??

i am ashamed that this is the level of trollin i get. step up ur game!!

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" Poor Alex! Marrying him would probably restore his self confidence and prompt a return to the cfl! Still holding out hope!

honestly alex was the hottest of all her bfs. fedor is balding, has a dad bod n is wearing khakis on the beach now. and semple was always fug. also rl talk i didnt know canada had its own football league until this guy came around. thats so cute for canada

"i hope tessa marries semple so i can see all the shippers cry tbh" I want her with the Bitove guy. His family looks like the type that will post tons about them on sm afterward.

lmao yall know his grandfather started the toronto raptors?? i knew this brodie’s last name sounded familiar. also apparenty he and his fam golf at trump’s resort @ mar-a-lago VOM. tessa is 500% going to end up with a smarmy, filthy rich trust fund kid like him like its not even a question

Hey now. I want shippers to get overthemselves, too, but Tessa marrying Semple, god no. Basically, Tessa, open your eyes and save yourself.

lol i actually wish she was still dating him so all this mindless speculation rn would stop

Bitter and hateful is what I come here for. Anons should just fuck off and go to the Disney website if that's what they want.

vm fans are so damn soft n sensitive about everything lol, i rly wish some of yall would stop taking everything i say so seriously

Please come back, without your snark the fandom is controlled by the most delusional shippers.

i’ll post more when there r actually things 2 talk about. being around here when nothing is happening and ur all screaming into a vacuum about the same things over and over is like being institutionalized in a loony bin

why are you always up so late?

nhf for this east coast bias, it is a perfectly reasonable time in california

Which of the current/rising juniors do you see making tbe most impact next quad?

carreira/ponomarenko are going to win a olympic medal in 2022. even if the shibs, h/d and bock don’t retire, i see them easily rising through the pack - they just have the Look and aren’t without talent. i’m iffy on the rest - mcnamara/carpenter are too creepy and weird, parsons have no height difference and are siblings, both are coached by an unproven staff, everyone else are varying levels of mediocre. hawayek/baker will go to worlds 2018 if they’re lucky and prob never again if no one else retires.

i wouldn't take h/d's music choices as an indicator of what vm will have. they are the c team and vm are the a team in that camp. look at last season... h/d got stuck with marie-france's lame ass idea of the evolution of music and vm got prince.

true..... altho i think personal taste is important too. tessa would die b4 she ever approved an ‘evolution of dance’ sd

I want Tessa to steal Fedor back from Meryl. All that drama would be hilarious. Fedor lost his looks and is butt ugly now so he is exactly Tessa's type, even more so than in 2009.

i nvr thought he was that cute but he literally looks like he goes door to door selling pool cleaner now

I noticed that when Tessa shakes hands or kisses someone on the cheek (like during medal ceremony or interviews) Scott often puts a hand on her lower back even though there had not been any physical contact between the two of them before said handshake or kiss. It just always surprises me and I'm not sure I understand why he'd do this. What's your take on it ?

lmao ik u want me 2 say its bc his subconscious is screaming out in jealousy and he wants to covertly claim her and show the world she still belongs to him but i rly think they r just touchy ppl who like to touch. or hes makin sure she doesnt lose balance and fall off the podium as she’s leanin over

moulin rouge would've been a much cooler choice in 11/12 for their musical fd instead of funny face, but i don't see them doing it for their olympic fd. it's a bit tacky and overdone. i figure they'd want to do something that's a little bit more special and unique then that.

ia it wouldnt have been a bad filler fd for an off year. i just dont see it doing it for their Last Ever and for the olympics. its such a warhorse - what could they possibly say with it thats original? and its such a character piece - they r such overly emo, earnest ppl, i dont think they’d want to do something that different from themselves for their Last Ever. 

huh what, vm don't stand a chance against moonlight sonata?? Pls... that would be a flop, such an overused piece of music everywhere, it's like Für Elise - hearing the first notes of it makes me vomit in my mouth a little

ya bc no one’s ever won a gold medal skating to a warhorse before

it sounds more believable to me than vm and moulin rouge tho

What interpretation? PC will just float around. They can do that in any key and judges will eat it up.

true, gui gui is a demon

No way. The judges will think they're watching Gordeeva/Grinkov again and just hand the gold to them immediately.

remember when pc said they didnt even know who torvill and dean and g/g were lmao

If scott doesn't cut his disgusting gutter frat boy hair I'm renouncing my Canadian citizenship and moving 2 Peru

was legit lookin @ pics from autumn classic n skate canada and i cant believe how short his hair was then, i can not believe i was complainin so much. i am honestly such a whiny bitch lmao this is my punishment

i have mixed feelings because Prince is the best short dance of VM's career so far but then Latch was one of the worst lol. It dragged in a lot of areas, especially the middle, and it never felt complete. I don't hate it by any means but considering we only had 2 free dances left and that was one of them... :| so I'm torn between trusting MF, and then thinking she's one misguided song choice away from ruining VM's swan song.

the thought of mf picking out the music for vm’s last ever fd makes me kind of sad. like yall have no ideas? at all?? ur relying on instagram suggestions and mf’s adult lite fm spotify playlists for inspiration? im surprised n disappointed tbh, like they arent kids anymore, i thought they would take more ownership of their careers. 

but idk we’ll see. whenever i complain a lot, i usually like their material later lol

why do i feel like vm are gonna come out in their sd with despacito... the justin bieber version...

ok who is this person who keeps sending me despacito questions?? you sound like you want it to happen more than anyone else and are trying to will it into existence

It's funny because Tessa is SO cautious about everything she/they say, that she comes off/is rehearsed--I don't understand why she cares so much. They are not politicians or even super famous. Plus most people who watch (excluding Tumblr fans bc they're all extra) watch during high times like Worlds and Olympics. Most people don't watch interviews and press conferences. If they do watch one, it's usually only the fun "game" interviews or the mainstream ones like etalk which they are not tons of

idk what this is in reference to but ok lol. it prob matters to her bc its her life and she cares bc its happening to her? just spitballin here

Oh no what has Max Trankov said I'm scared to know now. If he's a Trump fan I might have to #nopeout lol he’s russian and a male chauvinist pig. he once said he wouldnt do a quad with tati until she had a baby for him...”and then maybe we try”

still gonna stan his trash ass to the end of time tho

Speaking of bad music cuts I could not stand the way HD's music was cut this year. Like I like all the songs they used individually but it just felt so weirdly put together like the songs didn't flow well into the next. The only part I liked was the last part with earned it.

really? i thought earned it was the part that seemed completely out of step with the first 2 pieces of music. the transition was way off and the tempo was so much faster than the other 2

The Facebook q&a is the first time I felt vm are actually compatible enough to be a couple.

should’ve published this steaming hot take when u sent it a month ago bc i have no idea what this is in reference to now

what do you look like?

tired mostly

haha funny how we went from vm are in a relationship to they hate each other.

dont ‘we’ me bitch i have nothing to do with this fandom’s daily emotional yo-yo-ing

Can you explain the Tessa/Kaitlyn Weaver friendship? Are they really friends? Kaitlyn seems like the kind of girl Tessa would make fun of behind her back.

more like kaitlyn weaver is tracy flick and is trying to bring down everyone in her path tbh

I get a bit of a superiority, cold vibe with Tessa, don't you?

no but i dont have self esteem issues

I think people who find Tessa cold and snobby do not get her at all. Yes, she is far from perfect and her feminism is all (...) but to call her cold and unfeeling means you haven't been paying attention at all. Like get off her dick and/or stop following her career.

i dont think shes cold either. standoffish maybe, but i dont feel like thats from superiority or aloofness. some ppl just want to mind their own business and chill?? not everyone’s a chatty cathy like scott

Music stresses me out. The only thing I've gathered from all of the various discussions is they should be exciting but not too exciting because it's an Olympic season. But they shouldn't also be too safe. Like I know you have mentioned various choices that would be good but what would be in your mind the ideal program, both SD and FD. It's their third Olympics, so how do they build on the past while still being fresh but also them. Or do they just not and give the audience what they want?

something original thats not a warhorse but is also audience friendly and is instantly musically palatable to a lot of ppl

so basically mahler

Which songs from moulin rouge should they use?

if they were doing mr (which i doubt), the orchestral score is 500x better than the cheesy ass nonsense from the soundtrack. like come what may with nicole kidman’s tremulous bird vocals and ewan mcgregor literally straining not to pop a vein would almost be too dramatic and Too Much. i think that kind of thing only works for a v specific kitschy, performative kind of team (a la russians) and wouldnt vibe with vm’s super earnest approach at all. but the orchestral score is genuinely moving and effective in a less garish way

but i dont think they’re doing moulin rouge lol

"the movies honestly made it hard 4 me to interpret hermione’s undying loyalty and devotion to harry as anything other than latent sexual attraction tbh lmao" Hahaha, pretty much. Plus, the whole Harry and Ginny thing, even more so in the movies, seemed to come out of nowhere and was cliche as fuck.

is bonnie wright still acting? i’ve seen dead fish more alive than her on screen

LMAO someone posted a clip from VM's show when they were having dinner with WP and they were talking about how WP live together and they ask VM how they deal with one another and LOL I stg I started loling cause their reactions were #priceless. S literally just had a WTF look on his face while he said something hella awkward & T looked like she wanted to slap him. Her follow up that she doesn't think they could ever spend all their time together just cements why they'll never date for me.

lmao that whole scene is so stupid. kaitlyn n andrew r such good friends i swear

Thanks for setting that anon straight. Set some boundaries so that they don't egg on shippers?? WTF. They're fine with doing what they're doing, and if they're dating others, those others are obviously fine with it too. Besides, it's not like they're filming porn or something. If you can't handle it, stop watching them.

idek what these r in reference to anymore but it sounds dumb as hell lmao

Wow I cannot believe that people actually think VM owe fans any explanation for their relationship/partnership. Like we don't know them, we're never going to know them or be friends with them? Why the fuck do they owe fans a detailed explanation of their personal business? I stg these shippers have lost their damn minds. As long as VM continue to put out good programs and do well I couldn't care less what they're doing off ice. Whatever it is it's clearly working for them. You do you VM.

the entitlement of some fans is insane. its STILL happening now with tessa’s ig now too. why dont yall just let her live n let her white-girl post to her hearts content. she is literally doing nothing differently to what every other skater does, idg this absurd criticism

Fr tho both of them have such nice teeth and I've never seen pics of them with braces, like how??!?!

tessa’s r so nice i cant believe she’s never had braces. and they r such a natural white? like u can tell w most skaters that they get it professionally whitened but hers dont have that artificial look at all

Are you in college? Your bio says 23 but it said that last year too.

i actually turned 24 a while ago im just 2 lazy to change it. im in law school currently

I just read an ancient interview with vm where they said Mahler was about getting married or something... WHAT

ya i cant remember if it was them that said or marina that said it tho. i remember a story about a guy who wrote them saying he and his gf were watching mahler at the olympics and once it was over, he was so moved he got down on one knee and proposed to her and marina was like ‘thats what that program is meant to do’ lol

Do you think Zach is a good skater and partner? I keep changing my mind on him.....

he is such a bland, wet noodle - no taste, no flavor, just empty white carbs. its up to madi to add any spark to the team bc she’s the real star, he just stands there and is tall and can lift her

Why the fuck are so many people freaking out because Tessa did not attend a wedding with Scott. 1. They are not dating so there are no reason for Scott to bring her. 2. She has people visiting 3. I bet they don't even hang out off ice 4. I think Scott has a secret girl in Ilderton. 5. TS not dating. I wish people would claim down.

this is so far back in my inbox i have no idea whats happening

I love it that whenever Tessa posts an IG story the fandom goes crazy analyzing and speculating about Scott what there even when he is clearly not Then there there are talks about TS wedding. WTF Soon it will be TS having babies. I am wondering if maybe the fandom (new fans) are mixing reality with those fanfics.

honestly no clue

I know this has been discussed before but I don't get how Scott and Jess even communicated. Jess could barely seem to understand English back then and Scott couldn't speak French. I wonder if them not being able to speak to each other is part of why they lasted so long actually

lol bryce davison actually learned french so he could communicate w/ her. not scott tho lol

I don't think T cares too much about fs friendships the way other skaters do. Of course she's friendly with a lot of them but she's not really close with anyone except her partner, which doesn't really count lol. She has her own friend group outside of skating and that's what she seems to stick to. It's funny you mention Meryl, Brooke, Tanith, and Lauren because they're all still really good friends.

honestly i think skating stressed (stresses?) her out so much back then that she really hated being in that world for too long. i dont blame her for wanting to disconnect and not having to hang out with skaters who just talk about other skaters and skating 24/7

I don't mean this in a mean way. Watching Avatar.  If you paint Meryl's face blue she could be in the movie 

it kills me when ppl say she looks like a disney princess? ya the ant queen from a bugs life maybe

I think Tessa sometimes forget that Scott is a huge part of why they are successful and she wouldn't have all of these deals w amazing brands if they weren't so strong+didn't win everything. it's easy to put her on the pedestal bc she's gorg and can dance, but he should get/deserves just as much credit-- i mean he is the one lifting her and she could not do any of this by herself. sometimes i get the vibe that she thinks she's too good for him. maybe he's not as fancy, but he has a heart of gold

i’ve literally never gotten that she thinks she’s too good for him...? they go out of their way to pay each other compliments all the time and dont even jokingly diss on each other. its actually kind of weird that after knowing each other so long their relationship isnt just one long roast section where they talk shit about each other bc thats what my relationship w/ all my lifelong friends r like....but then again im a flinty bitch and they’re super earnest and emo like all the time. like i bet they both cry during sex

i find it kinda gross, disturbing and a bit pathetic that so many people feel the need to write erotic fan fiction about Tessa and Scott--like they are real people not characters, and it's kinda creepy that people spend so much time writing and reading them. Also, i would pay a million dollars to have someone show TS what people write about them--they would literally die and so would i--some fans are kinda extreme crazy

u know how on graham norton when he’s always showing celebs really erotic fanfic and fanart of themselves and they’re just dying of embarrassment?? i would literally pay everything in my bank account (so like....twenty dollars) for someone to do that to vm

omg it's gonna be so awk when tessa and scott have to see klawes...poor klawes, she just could not hold a candle to tessa. still don't know why klawes still follows tessa's insta--like i would unfollow and would not wanna see some of the pics t posts of TS giving each other lovey looks/touchy regardless of whether ts are together or not. also, it's never like t and klawes would actually be friends bc they're polar opposites

v disappointed that the olympic summit did not deliver on this #drama

tessa and kl were real friends tho, i think its sweet. and its nice they still keep in touch even tho scott is a dog

Are you a fan of tessa's style? She wears so much expensive yet ugly shit in my opinion.

lmao no. i think some of her casual wear is cute, but she wears some of the most hideous high fashion shit ever when she’s going out. like that blue carpet jumpsuit? yall know wht im talking about. those hideous trousers??? also she wears an unbelievable amount of boring black dresses

also gf needs to do smth with her hair. tired of her high bun and slick pony. she looks way cuter w/ her hair down imo

Do you think Tessa pays for all the Adidas stuff she wears?

no she def gets it for free. i was a walk-on my freshman yr of college for half a second and even i got a bunch of free shit from nike

How do u as an ed sheeran unstanner feel about ts doing these songs their obviously using him for the sd next season and i wouldnt be suprised if they use him for the fd as well

reading this made my cholesterol go up

really hope they're exhausting all the ed sheeran options now so they won't actually use it for comps lol

ngl i do kind of dig that embarrassing white boy rapping galway girl song but that cld prob just be my girl saorise ronan hypnotizing me like she always does

Minus the horrific man bun, do you think Scott's hot? Also, do you think Tessa finds him attractive?

no and probably yes now that hes so fug

Do you think Scott's attractive?? Also, do you think Tessa being told she's beautiful constantly on sm has made her get a big head--she often comes across as a bit cold and stuck up prancing around in her $1000 + outfits? Love her and she's gorgeous but...

some of yall need to stop projecting your shit onto tessa for real 

Power plays of the figure skating journalists. Inside Skating does a very literal interview and article with P/C which blows up and then they go to Jackie Wong so he can basically write up a damage control press release. Kind of fascinating to see both journalists doing their thing with the same content. Hard to believe Inside Skating didn't think their article would create a storm. Interesting.

speaking of jackie, skaters r really going to him for their exclusives now huh? dying that ashley gave him her big la la land fluff piece instead of tsl. pays 2 be nice and kiss ass

Doesn't look like KH/JLB will have much of a chance to advance cuzis so crowded with the current seniors not retiring and juniors moving up. KH/JLB needs to work on their twizzles, thier lines, skating skills, chemistry looks promising. Some of those junior and senior teams should consider representingif they want a chance at aCanada doesn't have any promising teams once VM-WP retire. I feel like CB, SS, HD ain't retiring till they win Wch or OG which may never with PC around.

hawayek/baker could prob skate for gb because jean-luc has citizenship and carreira/ponomarenko could prob skate for canada bc she’s from montreal but i doubt the us fed is letting either of them go. they’ve invested way too much at this point. i don’t think c/p need to move tho, i think they’re talented to rise organically through the ranks. i think they’re more likely to be us #1 instead of not tbh

I don't understand the whole David and Tessa affair; like some people say it happened after he was separated and others talk like it was a full blown affair. The only thing I do know is that her being called a "homewrecker" or anything else of that nature makes me want to punch something because it's disgusting, and it's society go-to response. Be cruel to the woman and basically give the man a free pass. But maybe he received shit, too? I just never heard about it.

i think he was basically separated but not divorced when it happened

Do you think if TS and Cappelini and Lanotte switched partners they would be a good team?

lol no. anna’s not a great skater and luca looks like he’s shorter than tessa

Wait is that Tessa's ex Semple in that photo you posted of her pre and post nose job? Cause if so damn does she lowball herself. Like she could have such better looking guys I do not understand. Girl is very pretty she needs someone to help her pick better guys.

~we accept the love we think we deserve~~

I think T is cringeworthy as a speaker bc she's sooo gd rehearsed. Not a things she says comes across like she didn't practice it in the bathroom mirror 75 times that morning. She would be pretty good if she could lose even half the pretension in her delivery and tossed out the eye rolly words she keeps littering the sentences with like privilege and journey.

they honestly both suck. she’s worse than he is, but they’re both super stiff. and they always do this forced banter bit at the start which just seems so awkward lol

That one anon pointing that some have denied the nose surgery - this is exactly what annoys me about those shipper blogs, not that they are shippers (you can want them two to be together- that by itself doesn't bother me), but their ways and how they always have to insist on vm's perfect image - they all get so upset and aggressive when you point some issue out, like why would you deny Tessa has done a nose job... so out of touch! vm are interesting exactly cause they're real people with flaws

i can not believe ppl r denying her nose job. like yo its right there. it does lend credence to my theory that all shipprs r just hallucinating n seeing things that arent there tho

If Tessa and Scott did hook up while officially with SOs I have a feeling they wouldn't consider it cheating.

ok lmao??? im sure something extremely profound i said provoked this

how rich do u think scott and tessa are???

prob millionaires by the time 2018 comes around if they get their sponsorships

-

i might do part 2 later if i can be bothered... but nothing really makes sense out of context lol, its like watching charlie kaufman do slam poetry