#this person is also fat btw. they hate fat people expressing love for being fat and not loathing themselves to death

[laikinz]

when your entire brand as a youtube personality is going after fat people who just want to live their lives and maybe change the climate for other fat people existing in this stupid world i think youve just become the most embarrassing person in existence

[aeimygdala]

I understand it can be at least a little annoying sometimes for people to constantly to go "I'm ace, but-" regarding every time they want to say something about someone attractive or something sexual, so I personally shy away from doing that, but it is also SO obnoxious to have ppl go "aren't you ace-" whenever you express An Opinion. it's like people simply Can't Conceptualize that anyone could care about bodies or something without being physically attracted to them.

and half of why I don't do it much anymore is bc I dislike the idea that I need to justify myself or what I say in a way that forces me to spoonfeed someone constantly about how "attraction" works and how i define it (spoiler: I don't because I don't know and don't Care) bc its stupid. I'm not going to waste time telling anyone the intimate details of Attraction. (Also, no hate, but I find the IDEA of rly niche aspec attraction microlabels somewhat uncomfortable as something to use in casual conversation, but lbr: I don't see anyone ACTUALLY doing that irl so I'm not gonna make up a guy and say they do that lol)

can't be gay and go "fat and hairy women are hot btw" without someone eying you, and it's even worse for lesbians saying Literally Anything about men. (I feel it often happens in a more predatory than annoying sense in those cases, too) like people can just express things that deserve to be said without it having attraction or intent behind it lmao at what point does "I think this is attractive" mean "I am actively attracted to this." one is an opinion or statement, another is an action or feeling

what if we all just sat down and said hairy and fat people are hot and should be appreciated. what if it just personally matters to you to say certain people are hot bc of how often theyre told theyre not. maybe uplifting others and expressing appreciation for the spectrum of human existence rules and can and should go past physical attraction

Not that people should be reduced to those traits or have their value based on attractiveness, but isn't it also simply just Fun and Feels Good to talk positively about others?

anyways from now on, im personally hitting reblog on any we love fat bitches and anti-shaving posts

[couldibeanymorechaotic]

What I Think About Some Canon and Fanon Ships!!

Canon:

Romione (ron x hermione): Cute!! they have been through so much together and just fit together. Their fans are also really nice and pure (except for some Lavender haters)!! I do have different characters that I ship with them more (fanonically) but for canon, they are really good together!! 8.5/10

Hinny (ginny x harry): Meh.....not my most favorite ship ever but still pretty cute.....I think it was just kinda too stereotypical (his best friend’s sister has a crush on him) blah, blah, blah! I think it would’ve been better if Ginny was just more confident and independent (like she was in the books) but overall it’s a pretty decent ship. 6.5/10

Remadora (tonks x remus) : Pretty good but I ship wolfstar!! I honesty think Tonks was lesbian or aroace or something like that, and Remus was prolly bi/gay. It still was a cute ship and we got Teddy Lupin out of it, so no complaints there. I wish it would've been developed more because it didn't have the best storyline/backstory. Overall a pretty good ship tho! 6.8/10

Bleur (fleur x bill): I really liked this ship!! Especially how Fleur said the whole line after Bill became a werewolf (cuz that was perfection)! I'm kinda sad we don't get to see a lot of this ship in the books/movies but it's still great! 9/10

Charry (cho x harry): One of my least favorite canon ships tbh......cho wasn't (emotionally) in the best place after Cedric's death so I have no idea why she would want another relationship so fast!! also, she was quite jealous and untrustworthy of harry (after the whole harry/hermione debacle) which isn't the best thing to be in a relationship....3.9/10

Voldytrix (voldemort x bellatrix): ugghhh yuckkkkk.....this is like one of the main reasons I hated the book cursed child....also, voldy-moldy had no "heart" so he couldn't "love" and Bellatrix only "loved" him not her own husband.....this ship was kinda just one-sided so was just a horrible ship.....why was this even a thing?! -∞/10

Deanevra (dean x ginny): I think this was a pretty cute ship while it lasted. The only thing that was kinda weird was how they broke up......ginny broke up with him because he was helping her get through a door....it kinda looked like j.k.rowling (who I do not support btw) was trying to make it misogynistic but it just ended up weird...nonetheless, it was a nice ship while it lasted. 7/10

Jily (james x lily): This is one of the best canon ships out there, everyone knows that.....the only thing I really didn't like about this ship was how James kept pursuing Lily, even when she said no......it's supposed to be romantic but it kinda edges the line of harassment.....and James was a bully soooooo......but I liked the ship when they were out of Hogwarts....then it was cute and pureeee!! 8.3/10

Marthur (molly x arthur): this ship is freaking awesome!!! it really highlights was a good parent should be to their children (not all the time tho.......*hint, hint*, percyyyy) overall a 9.1/10

now for Fanon

Perciver (Percy x Oliver): THIS IS MY FAVORITE SHIP OF ALL TIME!! and it has sooo much potential!! it could be enemies to lovers, jock x nerd, muggle au, fake dating, friends to lovers, soulmates, there was only one bed, etc.....and omgtheywereroomatesssss.....they probably aren't the very most affectionate in person but just by themselves they are!! overall, I think they compliment each other very well and are just two adorkable boys!! ∞/10

Deamus (seamus x dean): such a pure ship oml.....I think it would've taken some time for them to realize they were bi/gay/queer and liked boys, but when they did, they would be really affectionate and stuff 10/10

Linny (Luna x Ginny): such a pure ship too!! this gives me jock x nerd vibes kinda like percy and Oliver, and is probably such a cute ship. I doubt they would be overly affectionate like deamus but probably would be more affectionate then perciver. I think this would be the start of ginny's bisexual days 8.9/10

Rarry (Ron x Harry): kinda like a friends to lovers thing going on!! I think they would compliment each other very well (even tho they had their differences) and would be a great ship!! 8.7/10

Dramione (Draco x Hermione): No, just no. I don't think I would want by bully to be my boyfriend/crush unless he completely changed himself (which I do not think Draco did)......so no.....but it's better than like Snamione/Snarry/Sneville 1.2/10

Snamione (Snape x Hermione): No again. He bullied her a lot, and was like 2-3 times her age (I get that some people like that thing but I don't so sorry) so nooo 0.9/10

Snarry (Harry x Snape): he bullied him even more than he bullied Hermione....not my ship so sorry about that 0.5/10

Sneville (Neville x Snape): No, no, no, no!! no way.....Snape bullied Neville the fucking most out of everyone else and Neville was deathly afraid of Snape (Snape was his boggart in 3rd year) so no 0.1/10

Percivercus (Marcus x Oliver x Percy): finally!! a poly ship!! I think ship would be really cute cuz it has friends to lovers and enemies to lovers all in one!! it has lots of potential, much like perciver, so cute ship!! I think this is a really good poly ship and I rate it 9.5/10

Dreville (Neville x Draco): eh....I’m not really sure how to feel about this....if Draco is the same brat he was at school then it’s a big fat no, if he’s “redeemed” or trying to, then maybe? It’s better than Drarry and Dramione, at least. 4.3/10

Wolfstar (Remus x Sirius): Absolute beauty of a ship. It’s probably my 2 or 3rd most favorite fanon ship! they really complement each other and are just so cute!! Though it must’ve hurt for Remus when he thought/realized Sirius was a spy (cuz he didn’t have all the facts)!! 9.1/10

I’ll post the rest later because I’m bored so if you have more ships u want me to react to ig, just reply/reblog!! Byeee! Have a good day/night!!

@pluto-the-planet1 wanted me to do pavender (Parvati x lavender) so here you go!! pavender is so cute!! just two lesbians being queens! I literally love them, so adorableee! and I love reading fics about them that include deamus (dean x seamus)!! I rate it a 8.9/10

@princessdiana1967 wanted me to do roneville (Neville x Ron) so here ya go! roneville is really cute! two shy boys being adorable tbh! I feel like both of them would have a hard time expressing feelings but when they did, it was genuine! They’re literally so pure oml! I rate it a 9.2/10

[justzawe]

Hey, I'm a little critical of the Loki series and I have my reasons for it, but I'd rather not be lumped into the category that sends Tom and the creators hate. Yes, I'm disappointed and sad about what I had to watch, but I don't hate Tom for it and would rather not be lumped into that category of crazies that sends anyone hate. For the record, I've been begging for the expression of opinions without sending anyone hate, as I've been on the receiving end myself including someone asking me to kill myself for it. I think that any negativity expressed about the show, even though it is valid and done safely on our own blogs is gathering an unnecessary amount of hatred. It's just a different opinion and it's not a testament to our feelings for the real life people, even though some of us have a slight problem with the direction the writing and story went. I think it's a little presumptuous to assume that anyone negative of the Loki series is immediately a deranged fan who would also hate Tom's personal life. I personally don't and feel like Tom and Zawe would be perfect together. And I think it would be a little sane for some of your anons to at least consider that maybe a lot of the people attacking Tom's personal life may be pro Loki series too. There are toxic people everywhere and just because they're pro Loki doesn't make them angels and just because we didn't like the series, doesn't make us evil. If some of the pro Loki fans I've had the displeasure of meeting really did care so much about mental health and avoiding toxicity, they wouldn't have sent me the hate, the death threats and "you're probably lying about your mom beating you up for attention, shut up and accept that you hate the show because your personal headcannons didn't come true". It's pretty upsetting. Could you please be a little more sensitive in the future, when discussing people with different opinions? Some of the things I've heard from your anons are really just so invalidating and looks over everything I've said as someone who's critical of the Loki series. Once again, no hate (I feel like I need to make it clear that there is no misunderstanding, so that no one thinks I'm attacking anyone) and I just think it's a little silly to consider things so black and white. "I liked the show, that makes me the good guy, you didn't like it, so it makes you bad". Please don't encourage that way of thinking, because all I'm trying to do is express my different opinion in peace without being attacked for it. I'm sorry, but the way a lot of your anons speak reminds me a lot of the people who came into my dms and literally asked me to kill myself for being a "hater".

If Tom and Zawe are getting hate, it's because people are jealous of her, and I very much doubt it has to do with his series. We can love Tom, and still ask for better content. And we'd rather not like to be compared to that person who threatened to send out Tom's address. Harassment of any kind is bad, including hopping onto anyone's blog when they're peacefully bonding over disappointment to send them hate, just as much as it's wrong... To hop onto someone's blog when they're peacefully expressing admiration for the show, to send them hate. All opinions are valid and deserve to be expressed... Without it being considered hate mongering.

(so, sorry for making it so long but I just had to say it. Love Zawe's ring btw)

Damn, ma.

It’s fine if you don’t like the show. I just hate that people on twitter are throwing tantrums about it and harassing everyone involved with the show. It’s so disgusting to me that Kate got called a fat skank and women(!) are attacking Sophia’s appearance because they’re mad Tom/Loki kissed her and not Owen/Mobius. You may be the perfect Loki series hater that doesn’t do all those things, but let’s not pretend your pristine behavior is the majority. The majority of people who hate the show are LOUD and obnoxious, so of course most of us can’t stand y’all. At the end of the day, it’s just a damn show. Nobody should be so hostile and emotional over this shit. And I’m talking about both sides.

Now, I’d like this to be the end of this discussion, please.

[burnedbyshoto]

Toyomitsu Taishiro (Fatgum) - HC

a/n: so I realized just how indepth these things really are, so scheduling I had is a joke, but whateva! happy four months lovlies :D

SFW:

A = Affection (How affectionate are they with an s/o?)

HE IS A BIG PHAT LIVING TEDDY BEAR DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? HE IS AS AFFECTIONATE AS YOU WILL LET HIM BE!!!!!!!!

B = Breath (What could their s/o do to take their breath away?)

If you, his s/o, ever learned how to make takoyaki. You don’t even have to be an amazing chef, this small act of cooking his favorite food will make him worship the ground you stand on (as if he wasn’t already doing that!)

C = Cuddling (Do they cuddle? If they do, how and when do they cuddle?)

You know those huge fluffy stuffed animals you wanted as a kid and you’d just lay on top of their big poofy stomach and just hold on because you were living the life??? That’s cuddling with Taishiro and you can’t convince me otherwise. Also, he loves it when you do it??? It just makes him feel super amazing???

D = Dream (What do they dream of doing with their s/o?)

He would love to open a poor kitchen with you. The two of you are that couple that everyone respects because of how kind and generous you are, and this kitchen would mean so much to those in the community that needs it.

E = Effort (How much effort do they put into a relationship?)

He’s very busy as a hero, and most nights he is very tired, but he will always dedicate his free day to you. Of course, it’s surrounded with errands, but just being with you is enough. He puts as much effort into his relationship with you as he can.

F = Fear (What do they do if their s/o is scared? How do they handle it?)

He will give you his hero hoodie. The soft and warm extremely large fabric of the jacket drowns you, but also makes you feel safe. He’ll wait for you to want his physical help, but for now, take the hoodie.

G = Gifts (What type of gifts do they give their s/o? Do they want a gift in return?)

Taishiro is the boyfriend who buys the rose from the local flower shop and brings it back with him on his way home. He gives you little gifts that make you smile, not really into really big and extravagant gifts unless the occasion calls for it. He enjoys the small things because you remember them just as well. He never expects a gift back and is genuinely shocked whenever you bring something home for him.

H = Hugs (Do they hug their s/o? How often?)

He is a big hugger. He will hug you more than kiss you, not even going to lie about it, but you enjoy it. Taishiro is an amazing hugger and it makes you feel safe, soft and warm.

I = Intimacy (How romantic are they? Do they have problems with intimacy?)

He is a huge romantic and is never ever afraid to demonstrate that to you or anyone. Never misses an important date, always texts you happy anniversary! Even month 18 he will send a heartwarming message as if it was a huge one!

J = Jealous (Do they get jealous? How do they act when jealous?)

He’s a bit of a jealous man because you are amazing. Of course, this jealousy doesn’t drive him to do anything, but he knows that many men scoff at him because he is in his large form! But he never fights anyone unless provoked into a fight; instead, he just glares at them which is super scary because he’s typically such an easygoing man.

K = Kiss (Are they a good kisser? Do they like to kiss? How often do they try to kiss you?)

He is a good kisser!!! His lips are never chapped, and he loves peppering kisses all over your face!!!!!!! He loves kissing you and will kiss you as often as you want him too.

L = Love (When do they say they love you? How often do they say it? Do they prefer to say or show it?)

He says “i love you” at a year. He fells it well before, but he felt that those words hold a lot of meaning, and he wants to express these genuine feelings to you at a special moment in your relationship because you mean the world to him. Afterward, he will continue saying it every day. If he had to choose between expressing it or saying, he would always show it.

M = Marriage (Do they want to get married? If so, what kind of ceremony?)

He wants to marry you, for sure! The ceremony would be small and intimate with only people the two of you love going!

N = Night out (What type of dates do they like to go on? How often do they like to go on them?)

You two visit a lot of restaurants together! Cooking classes!!!! Weekend trips to some taste-testing place!!!! wALKS THROUGH THE COMMUNITY?!?!?!!? They happen every week.

O = Out of the Ordinary (What’s something they don’t normally do with/for their s/o?)

He will not change his form for you. If you prefer FitGum over him, he won’t ever change himself.

P =Playful (Are they playful in a relationship? If so, how do they play around/mess with their s/o?)

He’s actually a very serious lover. Don’t let the wide grin and pleasant personality fool you. He is very very serious, that’s not to say he won’t play around with you or not joke around, but he likes being as straightforward and clear as he can be.

Q = Questions (Do they ask their s/o their opinion on things? Do they share theirs?)

He will ask for your opinion on things, he wants to hear your thoughts because he respects your input and ideas. He is also a very open and honest person; he shares his opinions even if they contradict your own.

R = Random (How spontaneous is their relationship? Do they do things on the spot or plan ahead?)

He’s not predictable but also not spontaneous. Like, you expect things from him because he’s a very routine guy, but he still manages to make every single routine something new for you.

S = Sleep (How do they sleep with their s/o?)

You can sleep on top of his belly, he loves it and he doesn’t move in his sleep so it works out! It also makes sharing the blankets easy!

T = Trust (How much do they trust their s/o?)

Taishiro trusts you completely. He never doubts what you say, and even if he thinks you’re lying he trusts you’ll come around and tell him the truth eventually.

U = Unique (What makes them unique as an s/o?)

His compliments. I know, compliments aren’t special or anything new, but there’s something so strangely different, so warming about the way he compliments you. It strikes your soul and warms you up whenever he praises you. You may not have a praise kink, but maybe you do now.

V = Vulnerable (How long until they can be vulnerable around their s/o? What are they like in this state?)

Taishiro actually really really hates being vulnerable in front of you. As a hero, he thinks that it isn’t correct for him to be breaking at the seams. But, when he has to be, it can be at any point because hero work is so fucking exhausting… he’s just… sad. The smile on his face is shakey, his appetite is gone, he’s a shell of who he is, and you both don’t like it.

W = Wild Card (Get a random domestic headcanon of the character of your choice)

Taishiro and you have a long-running game of throwing food into each other’s mouths in the most creative ways possible. The best one so far was when he threw a takoyaki from his stomach hundreds of meters into the sky and you caught it. LEGENDS ONLY!!!!

X = X-Ray (What would they do if their s/o got injured?)

He will cater to you without even blinking an eye. Taishiro will overfeed you because you need the energy to heal! He will giVE YOU HIS JACKET AND I JUST REALLY WANT TO WEAR IT OKAY

Y = Yuck (Do they have any pet peeves about their s/o? Are there any habits that might bother their s/o?)

Super picky eaters. Now now, i know there are picky eaters out there, but i’m talking about picky eaters who won’t let him try any new foods. No, he does not care if you only want chicken tenders for the rest of your life, but if you won’t let him try a new restaurant because they don’t have anything it does bug him.

Z = Zeal (Are they passionate as an s/o? Do they want or like passion?)

He is a super intimate and passionate lover!!! He will try his best with what he has to give to you, and he loves it when you return it to him on every level.

NSFW:

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

He lays there for a while, trying to capture his breath again. When he gets up, he always makes the two of you tea, and he returns with some food and whatever you need.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite feature is his legs, they’re just super strong and goddamn do you look hot as fuck when you’re sitting on his lap. His favorite body part on you is your mouth. Your pretty little mouth that can suck him off, kiss him like no one else, and whisper the most sinful things in his ear… yeah, he loves your mouth.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum is… a weird taste. He has a good appetite, but he does sometimes eat questionable things, and it… is evident. But he loves watching you swallow his thin yet full load.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has kept a pair of your candy panties that he didn’t get to finish and ate it in public one day because he was able to pass it off as a candy bracelet… you don’t know that though...

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He is actually not that experienced... unfortunately most people see his fat form and scoff at him because of that, even if he is a kind man. Having sex with these women was especially hard, and since he was busy for a long time he never let it bother him, but he was sort of a natural. He knows how to move his body.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

The standing pretzel (this one is fucking amazing btw) and loves fucking you when you’re on a swing.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He is more serious in bed, but will always be smiling. It’s passionate and meaningful to him, so he tries to avoid joking around. But if you’re into it, he doesn’t mind. 

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

It’s surprising very well-groomed. Almost to the point where it’s shaved off completely. (it’s for less friction with his hero costume)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…) 

Loves to be super intimate and romantic. He is the kind of guy to hide flowers in the room and present them to you after fucking when you’re about to pass out.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He doesn’t masturbate often. When he does, it happens more typically in the shower because he thinks you can’t hear him… you can… every time

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

FOOD PLAY FOOD PLAY FOOD PLAY!!!! Hairpulling, thigh-riding, overstimulating (giving), and blindfolds

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

In his office… oh my god, he loves bending you over his desk and making you come whenever you visit for lunch or something

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You. in. a. candy. bra. and. panties. Also, just sending him a very small thirst text/provocative picture is gonna get you some Daddygum dick.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Anything with humiliation. Do not ask him to be FitGum for bed, he literally will ignore you for the rest of the week. There are times he comes back with his low BMI so if you want to seduce that very tired and drained hero, be his guest, but never ever ask for it.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Loves giving it more. But goddamn you just look so fucking delicious going down on him that he doesn’t mind when you beat him to oral.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Isn’t too slow isn’t too fast. It’s why sex with him is so exhausting because you’ll come twice in ten minutes but it’s such a painful yet pleasurable ten minutes.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Not into quickies unless he’s in the office, then, by all means, let’s make each other come in 3 minutes.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

He is into experimenting as long as the two of you take it slow while introducing it into the bedroom. Like, don’t dial it up to 15 until you both are comfortable.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He can last a few healthy rounds but nothing more than four rounds in one night.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He owns a fair share of toys that he much would rather use on you. Like he bought you a vibrator that does it’s job fucking right.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Will never ever say he likes to tease, but he’s a natural fucking tease and just isn’t aware. He will be fucking you at such a slow pace, his words teasing promises as he makes sure you can’t fuck him any faster. He’s a goddamn tease okay.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He’s quite vocal. He thinks words are very powerful and so will make sure he praises your every damn move if he must.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Really really really fucking loves being called hero in bed. He takes so much pride in his work that hearing it being slipped from your mouth… big phat nut.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

He’s a big dick daddy. There’s no way he isn’t. Like nine inches with a considerable girth to it. Not veiny though, pinker than the rest of his body, and has a leftward curve.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

He has a good sex drive… oh yeah, he can push himself to stay up every night to fuck you if needed.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Having sex really reenergizes him! He will definitely go finish up with last minute things afterward if you don’t fall asleep/want to cuddle.

[bi-rising]

Sometimes I have such trouble with wondering if I’m trans or not or if there’s just something wrong with me, I’m female btw. Last year I had a whole ass depressive crisis freaking out rather or not if I really feel comfortable with my gender or if I’d rather be the opposite gender, I don’t know if it’s just I’d rather LOOK like a boy than actually be one or if it’s just me wanting to express myself in that because I still love wearing skirts and dresses. Honestly a part of me thinks I’m just uncomfortable with my body because of other reasons like, I mean I’ll wear a regular short sleeved shirt and I suddenly feel like I’m “exposing” too much of my body and i feel bad.

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me, I wonder if I’m just uncomfortable tab with my whole body/image for personal reasons or something, sorry I rambled.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through such a rough time. I wish I could offer advice but I’m aware that there’s very little I could do, both bc I lack experience and because my gender questioning phase (I had to call it this, but idk another word for it—just like, the general period of time I guess? not meant in a derogatory/insulting way) was very short and I came out cis on the other side of it. however, I can tell you that I support you and that I do truly believe that you’ll make it through this rough time, and things will turn out great for you in the end <3 heaven knows you deserve it

also, just a reminder that there’s nothing wrong with being a feminine man, regardless of trans status :3 how you choose to dress and act and the way you present yourself does not override your gender

and, if you do end up being cis, there’s nothing wrong with that either!! I know it can feel like being cis makes you inherently worse or less interesting or less in general when you’re around a lot of lgbt people, especially in online communities, but there genuinely is nothing wrong with questioning your gender and realizing that you’re not trans after all

lastly, regardless of whether you’re cis or trans, I hope that you can start your journey towards treating yourself with kindness, especially towards your body. I know how it feels to hate the way you look and to be afraid of showing more than absolutely necessary, and I know what a living hell it is. but if there’s one thing you listen to me about on this blog, please know that your body is special and good because it holds you. and I say that as someone who is fat and has maaaany health problems, both physically and mentally. your body does the best that it can to care for you, so that you can experience the world, spread love and kindness, and receive love and kindness in return. be gentle with yourself and remember that it’s okay to have bad days, so long as you eventually get up and keep moving forward

hoping the best for you <3

[callsignjxde]

Later or Now?

It was on a cold Winter’s afternoon that Alora, a mediocre girl with a big heart and deep insight of the world was sitting on the curb just outside of her high school, a little after the last bell had rung for the day. The clouds had started to gather and darken overhead, casting a grey shadow over the town and dimming the world. Like insects, the ice-cold air bit at her skin. Her ears ached as the cold embraced them; she shivered. Alora took out her phone and took to scrolling on Instagram. Nothing out of the ordinary appealed to her; not the short anime clips or fashion tips and tricks. She scrolled and scrolled until something caught her attention. She slowly scrolled back up and saw a picture of someone’s legs. They were skinny, long legs styled with black jeans and red converse. They were angled upwards, as if the person were stretched out resting them on the windowsill. … Do I know this person? I don’t remember following them, Alora thought to herself. She lowered her gaze to the caption, which exclaimed, “My aunty and my mother kept calling me fat today. When will I ever be enough for anybody?” Alora sighed in pity. What a horrible thing to say to someone, she expressed in her mind.

Alora wasted no time in wanting to leave a comment. She gazed up toward the sky, whose clouds had started weeping, and tried to think of something kind and thoughtful to say. She furrowed her brows and let out a small sigh. Alora decided to type as she thought:

S1NS: “Hi! We’re not close, but I noticed that we’re following each other! If you ever need anyone to talk to, I’m always going to be right here for you. We don’t know each other, but I promise you that you are so special to me, and that my love for you runs deep. Also, for what it’s worth, you are beautiful.”

Alora hit send and took a deep, heavy breath. She hoped that she wasn’t out of place and didn’t sound too weird or creepy.

Deep in thought about this person, she trudged home while the crying clouds watched over her, as if her mood and the weather were one and the same.

Ping! Her phoned chimed as she sat in her room procrastinating that night, doing her very best to avoid her assignment that happened to be due very soon. She peeked at her phone screen and saw a direct message from Instagram user 69.shadesofblack. Ah, it’s that person whose post I commented on earlier, she thought. Alora excitedly opened the message and began to read and respond accordingly.

69: “Hey, I’m Caia. I saw your comment under my recent post, and I just wanted to say that I appreciate it very much.”

S1NS: “Oh hi! I’m Alora. I mean it! If you ever wanna talk, I’m always ready to listen without judgement.”

It wasn’t even to Alora’s knowledge that this was going to be the start of a beautiful, yet tragic friendship.

Days passed, then weeks, and eventually months. The two girls messaged every chance they had, conversing about all the things that made them smile and cry. They shared their dreams and hopes, and even their fears, too.

Caia had some good days, but her bad days unfortunately outweighed the good ones. She would message Alora exclaiming her desire to die and leave the world, to which Alora never failed to present Caia with hope, even if it was just a little bit.

In the beginning, Alora was happy that she could be used as Caia’s strength to hold onto life, in the hopes of her discovering something more in it, something better, something that she would find… worth living for. However, as the months passed and the world around Alora became colder and darker, she began to feel scared. She knew that if she failed to comfort Caia or make her feel better, she would slip right through her fingers. Despite this, Alora knew that there was only so much she could do, since they were oceans apart, yet she felt deep down that she would feel responsible for Caia if anything were to happen to her. Alora lost sleep and her grades plummeted. Her mind, her heart and her soul were with her friend. On the nights where she’d finally fall asleep after hours of haunting thoughts, she’d awaken from nightmares, a crying and hyperventilating mess. Covered in cold sweat and incredibly weary, Alora would unlock her phone to check and monitor the activity of user 69.shadesofblack, much like a hawk, eyeing its prey from above.

On a warm and sunny Winter’s morning a little before 8:30, Alora and Caia were deep in pleasant conversation. Alora smiled to herself as she sent her messages. After the conversation slowly died out, Alora slid her phone back into the pocket of her pants and lifted her head so that the sun caressed her face with its warm and lively touch. It was cool, but the warmth of the Winter sun warmed not only Alora’s skin, but her soul.

Ping!

The girl took her phone back out, unlocked it, and read:

69: “Also, btw before you go to class”

S1NS: “Yeah, C? What’s up?”

69: “Don’t ever leave me okay?

Never.

Ever.

Don’t even think about it.

I’ll come after you.”

S1NS: “Never in my life will that ever cross my mind.”

69: “Promise me.”

S1NS: “I promise, C. I promise that I’ll come and get you soon. I promise to get you out and take you far away from there. We’ll go places, you and I. I promise that you’ll be happy with me. You can be friends with my friends! I just know that they’ll love you. And my parents would love you too!”

69: “Thank you. For never giving up on me.”

S1NS: “… Thank you for being so brave.”

Alora felt her eyes well up with tears; she quickly wiped them. The bell rang for first period and, with the heaviness in her heart lifted ever so slightly, she marched off to class. It was the first time in awhile where she could breathe properly, where she could relax a little.

She was happy.

That evening, when she was free of hassle from her family and school assignments, Alora messaged Caia to see what she was up to:

S1NS: “Hiya bestie, I’m back!”

Minutes passed, then hours, without a response from Caia. She must be busy, Alora thought, so she put her phone down for the night.

Alora messaged again the next day, but there was still no response from Caia. Days eventually passed by in a blur, and Alora’s nightmares had become more frequent and more powerful. Eventually, Alora stopped sleeping altogether. She would camp under Caia’s profile, waiting for a sign that she’s safe and sound.

About 2 weeks had passed without a message from Caia. Frustrated, Alora decided to message as many of Caia’s followers as possible, questioning her possible whereabouts. No one knew where Caia had gone.

Feeling defeated and hopeless, Alora began to sob. Hot, salty tears started to stream down her cheeks. She watched her tears fall from her face to her lap. They reminded her of how the sky wept on that cold Winter’s day where she initiated a conversation with Caia. She remembered the cold air biting at her olive skin, numbing her. She remembered the lonely roads and the mist like rain that fell from the clouds. She remembered the sadness and worthlessness she felt from Caia’s Instagram post.

And then, in the darkness, her phone lit up as it chimed. Caia, Alora exclaimed happily with a sense of relief.

Wasting no time, she opened the message, only to read words that would shatter her heart into a million pieces:

69: “Hi, this is Erin. I’m Caia’s little sister. I’m messaging to let you know that my sister committed suicide last week, and that we recently just had her funeral.”

Alora’s heart sunk to her stomach. She felt her heart stop, and then felt it race faster and faster. She couldn’t breathe. Even so, she mustered up enough strength to message back.

69: “Hello?”

S1NS: “What the hell do you mean? You’re lying to me. STOP FUCKING LYING TO ME. THIS ISN’T SOMETHING YOU JOKE ABOUT.”

69: “Why the hell would I wanna tell people that my sister killed herself?! Whether or not you believe me, she’s DEAD.

And I’ve seen the messages you two sent each other.

You were supposed to protect her. You were supposed to make her happy.”

With tears streaming down her face, Alora clenched her fists and gritted her teeth.

S1NS: “My fault?! YOU’RE HER SISTER. I’M ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD FOR FUCK SAKE. YOU’RE HER SISTER.”

69: “Goodbye. I’m closing this account now.”

S1NS: “WAIT DID SHE SAY ANYTHING BEFORE IT HAPPENED?!”

Erin deactivated Caia’s account, leaving Alora alone with no one but her thoughts and the night’s darkness, which was a very dangerous thing to do, most especially when Alora is angry with herself.

Alora couldn’t figure out why.

She sat in the corner of her room and let out a cry so hard, it rung breathless and soundless into the night. She pounded her head with her fists, unable to figure out where she went wrong. The silence of the night was loud and menacing. It frightened her to death. She beat the carpet beneath her in agony; she felt betrayed.

“You made me promise… You made me promise to never leave you so why.. Why did you leave me? Was it something I said? Was it something I did? … I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry.. But.. Why didn’t you come to me..? Why didn’t you let me help you..? Did you hate me that much? Did you even care about me at all?”

Alora wailed and bellowed into the night, with nothing but that menacing silence to answer her. She cried and cried until she cried herself breathless. Eventually, with hot, salty tears still falling from her weary eyes, Alora passed out.

An hour or two had passed, and the moon shone in the dark night. Its light seeped in through the crack in Alora’s curtains and caressed her tear stained face. She slowly awoke, praying to God that this was all just a terrible, terrible dream. Feeling empty and hopeless, she let her gaze be guided by the night sky through the gap in her curtains.

As she stared into the night, thoughtless, she made out Caia’s smiling face in the stars. She was angry, miserable, and felt betrayed, yet somewhere in her shattered heart, she felt a sense of happiness for her friend. I promised that… I’d save you from what made you miserable… But… It seems like you did it yourself, Alora thought. I just… I just wished you had more faith in me.

Alora let out a slight snicker, “I’ll see you again. You’ll wait for me, right?”

She reached out and rummaged through her bag which was only a couple of feet away and pulled out a bottle of tablets.

Alora let her gaze rest on a dust particle in a group of many that she spotted sailing through the air, thanks to the white light of the moon. With no one but herself and the universe present, Alora murmured into the unforgiving and silent night,

“Caia... Should I come and see you later… Or now?”

[celestianstars]

I always see you help people so I think this is the best place to vent, sorry for doing it btw but I just need to let it out, I am a very self conscious person with a very low self esteem even when I pretend I am the exact opposite, I moved out of ny country because I got a great job opportunity so I have no family here but met my boyfriend who I love very much, 3 weeks ago I had an accident and has to get surgery and while my health is fine I am not able to walk because my both my legs +1

Are broken so I have to use a wheelchair but it's exhausting, my boyfriend moved into my apartment to take care of me and that's great but he has never seen me without make up or my hair done until now and he hasn't said anything about it but I feel disgusted and ashamed that he is seeing me this way, I also can't exercise and I am afraid to get fat as a girl who has interned as a teen for anorexia this is a really disturbing time and my boyfriend has started to feel I feel weird because I +2

Always shy away when he is helping me take a shower or get dressed or even helping me go to the bathroom (very embarrassing thing considering we were dating for just 4 months before this) and he is being so good to me but I heard him talking on the phone with his friend saying how he thinks I don't want to be with him anymore but thats not the case I just hate myself and how I look and I don't want him to see, I don't know what to do but I feel really sad (sorry for my bad English)

———

Hi my love, don’t worry about your English, it’s great! And I’m sorry about the accident but glad you’re ok and recovering 💖 and don’t worry about venting to me, sometimes, a lot of times, you have to let things out and talk about them and I’m here to help!

So as someone who’s also very insecure about my appearance I really understand how you feel and sometimes even now in my relationship of two years I can sometimes shy away and try and hide from my boyfriend because I dislike what I see so much, I hear you and feel your struggle and I’m sorry you’re probably at your lowest right now about everything.

I think you and your man have to sit down and talk about everything you’re feeling.

As scary as that may a sound and as much as you might want to do the exact opposite, telling him how you’re feeling, exactly as you told me is really key. I think that’s gonna allow you both to get some comfort and reassurance and understanding from each other which your heart needs right now.

You can start by saying that the reason you shy away is because you’re really struggling with your body image and don’t want him to see you how you are and I promise you he’ll understand where you’re coming from and offer you some comfort.

He seems to be really sweet and I’m so glad he’s with you to take care of you. Let him know that you do want him around and do want to be with him and by expressing that I’m sure he’ll see that you do want to be with him, it’s just that you’re dealing with low self esteem in addition to still recovering physically.

Once you get this out in the open with him I think your shoulders will feel a lot lighter because it’s weighing you down and stressing you out and by communicating, you and him can find a way to grow stronger together and to clear up things and turn the page essentially so you both know that you’ve got each other and that this is solid.

I also want to say that I really applaud you for being vulnerable and despite how much you dislike your body, you’re pushing through it, you’re brave my love. I know it’s not easy letting people, especially romantic interests, see that vulnerability but you’re doing great!

You may dislike yourself but his eyes are looking at you with a different lens, he sees things in you and beauty in you that seem impossible but I promise you, you’re more than the negative things you see in yourself and he sees and knows this too 💖

He’s got your back and I think if you talk to him about the sadness you have and everything else you’re feeling it’ll allow you to feel better about the situation.

And if you can, try and make a list of things you do like about yourself, it doesn’t have to be physical, it can be about your personality or your interests. And maybe ask your boyfriend to list things he likes about you both physical and non so you can look at that whenever you need as a reminder of what’s there

I hope I this helped and idk you but I love you and think you’re amazing and I understand how you feel so very much.

You can do this! And I’m always here if you want to talk more or tell me how things go! 💝

[amnachil]

To the Perfection Chapter 1 Part 11

I’m a little late (like always) but here is the next part !

Thomas Friday February 22

"To me, it looks like hazing." mumbled Cody.

Will you shut up already ? He was so annoying.

"We made a bet." replied Joël. "And I lost. Thomy wants me to carry his stuff for a week, and I'll do it. I'm a man of my word."

It was what Thomas had demanded after the bet. To be honest, it was just a way to humiliate the cocky lad. Maybe this way, he would understand he wasn't that great.

"You sure are a stupid and exploited person. Like a slave." retorted the dark-haired lad. "And where is Ilhan ? We are supposed to work on our assignment together..."

"You're always exaggerating." smiled Thomas. "I will go get Ilhan, just wait here."

Their friend was still in the lockers room. The ginger joined him in silent, and watched him discreetly. Apparently, he had some troubles to close his pants. Ironic. Thomas had more than succeeded with Ilhan. This one looked out of shape, with a soft and doughy belly which was hanging over his clothes. Most of his t-shirt were too tight now, and showed pretty well his new curve. All their classmate had noticed the gains, but since Thomas had asked them to be quiet, no one had made fun of Ilhan. Not even Joël, now that I think about it.

"Are you coveting me ?" asked his friend when he glimpsed him.

"Not really. Cody is starting to get impatient."

Ilhan mumbled something inaudible. He wasn't really happy about his growing waistline. But he couldn't control himself anymore. He was completely under Thomas's control. A true piggy slave.

"Dude please stop joking with all that..." begged the poor feedee. "You don't realise how bad this is, do you ? It have been one month and I'm up to 79 kg (174 pounds). I gained 6 kg (13 pounds) ! My grades are dropping, coach told me to get back in shape, my parents made me see two doctors and I feel like a piece of trash. This is not funny, stop smiling please."

The ginger only laughed. A warm, sweet laugh which could appease even the angriest person alive.

"You're freakin' out for nothing." he explained cheerfully. "As long as you please me, what's the matter ? You're here to make me happy, got it ?"

Since Ilhan didn't answer, Thomas came closer. His face became scary. His eyes shows rage. Around him, the atmosphere became terribly frightening.

"Your whole purpose is to fulfill my desire." he repeated slowly. "Do you got it ?"

"Su... Sure." whispered a more than scared Ilhan. "I'm... I'm fine and I'll please you, whatever you want."

"Nice."

On his way home this evening, Thomas thought about what happened during this month. He was fond of Dan, there was no doubt about that. At start, he had thought it was impossible for him to be in a relationship with his crush. But now, he was seriously considering it. First of all, Raphaël was far away most of the time, and he couldn't control them. Besides, Thomas was learning to be more dominant, because he understood it was the kind of personnality Dan liked. He's a submissive guy. I can get him, I know that. So he was bossing Ilhan and Joël around. He started to appear more in class event, and to lead the whole 12th grade. They were all licking his boots. As a bonus, Dan couldn't stop himself from eating. He was always stuffed. I can't even imagine the amount of calorie he's gobbling daily. Needless to say, the junior was now fat. He had said yesterday he was weighting around 90 kg (200 pounds), that was to say a gain of 8 kg (18 pounds) in one month. That's impressive. But Dan didn't show any will to stop, and Thomas neither. Usually, he wasn't in favor of too much fat, because it was kind of unhealthy, but now he hoped Raphaël would be disgusted. Thomas's phone rang suddenly. He picked up when he noticed it was Cody.

"Thomy." this latter began with a hesitant voice. "Can we talk about something ? I'm worried about Ilhan. He looks really down these days."

"At this hour, for real ? Look, I know you're always worried about our friendship and all but c'mon, you're starting to get annoying."

A silent followed.

"Sorry..." whispered his friend. "I just wanted to talk with you since you are..."

"I'm not a shrink or whatever." cut Thomas. "If Ilhan or you have problems, go see someone else, I don't care. Stop being such a leech Cody, and just leave me be. Clear ?"

"O... Okay."

Thomas hung up, pretty upset. What a waste of time. Ilhan is perfectly fine, and you're just being annoying. And Raphaël who is coming back tomorow. Damnit, that make me so mad !

Dan Saturday February 23

I look like trash. He didn't find a single shirt pullover loose enough to hide is belly. He had to worn sweatpants, since only they fit. He had shaved and dressed his hair, but he still felt ugly. Since Shirley had told him the harsh truth, he was seriously thinking about it. Why on earth Raphaël, a national player loved by tons of people, was dating someone like him ? He's handsome, bright and gifted. Everything he tries is always a success. I'm nothing in comparison. His boyfriend was coming back today, but these thoughts prevented Dan to be excited. Besides, to get distracted, he hadn't found any other way than stuff himself until he was barely conscious. He started the day with a more than copious breakfast which left him unable to move. Afterwards,he would gorge himself as much as possible in order to not think about anything else. Thomas helped a lot. His friend was always reassuring and sweet. He also encouraged him to eat more. No wonders I'm almost obese. Dan hadn't attend his lessons since wednesday. He didn't visit Darren, nor went outside the house. He just stuffed himself. And the more he was doing that, the more he felt unworthy of Raphaël. And of course, the more he thought that, the more he ate. He heard the door open. He's here. His boyfriend was here. Raphaël entered in the room with a smile, but when he saw Dan, he frowned.

"I know." mumbled miserably this one. "I'm out of shape and downright fat. This is bad because it's dangerous for my health and it's wrong for your public image."

The ginger opened his mouth, but his boyfriend continued.

"I know, the place is a mess. I didn't do the housework and there are wrappers everywhere. Plus it smell awful. You hate it, I get that."

"Dan..."

"I know, I skipped most of my class and I gonna fail this year. I'm a stupid lazy fatass and you definitely deserve better."

"Dan."

"Yeah, I know, my sister is doing illegal stuff and I'm having her back. It makes me a criminal, and this is very bad for your career. And I know I've been spoiling Thomas too much and he does litterally whatever he wants. I'm an horrible brother, an horrible babysitter and an horrible boyfriend. I should just leave."

Raphaël suddenly put his cold hand on his belly, and Dan let out a not very manly cry.

"Dan, can you stop that ?" he asked (ordered). "I don't understand what is going on ?"

It took two hours for the junior to explain what he had in mind for a few days. He decided to be honest with his feelings, and told everything to Raphaël. Thanks to his boyfriend, this moment went well. They went to the bedroom, and lied down onto the bed. There, the ginger gently cuddled his lover while this one confided. Once he finished, Dan felt relieved. Get all this off his chest felt nice.

"I'm sorry." commented Raphaël. "I was so focused on Thomas, I didn't pay enough attention to you. I should've see you were feeling overwhelmed..."

"But I just spent about two hours telling you I'm not worth enough to..."

A cold stare made Dan quiet. Okay, not my turn to talk anymore. His boyfriend definitely was authoritarian.

"Let's be clear." stated Raphaël. "I love you, and I want to be with you. Nobody else. We're together for more than one year and half and I loved you for even longer. I never thought you were unworthy. Please trust me."

Dan nodded slowly. He knew his boyfriend was sincere. He also noticed his hands were freezing.

"Besides, I feel way better when you're around and I miss you too. I mean, I'm happier with you, because you made me feel comfortable. And to me, you're not stupid or lazy. I think my family counted way too much on you."

The junior lowered his eyes. I know you're trying to confort me but... Seeing Raphaël so nice made him feel even worse. He was here, complaining and whining like a baby, while his boyfriend was already an accomplished celebrity.

"Dan stop that please."

Surprised, the junior glanced at Raphaël. This one was impassive. He had a cold look, but he seemed hurt. Or annoyed, Dan couldn't say.

"Stop what ?" he prudently asked.

"Thinking of me like if I was perfect. Please, don't do it."

His tone was deeply honest.

"Just... look at me." he ordered. "I want to comfort you but I can't show any facial expression. I'm as cold as ever, just as an impassive doll. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm not a moving statue just because I can't express my feelings like everyone else. But I do feel. Right now I feel helpless, insensitive and aloof. I don't like that."

Dan looked at him, surprised. He had never voiced his feelings like that before.

"I know what people say : I'm awesome, smart, good-looking and all..." continued Raphaël. "But does that mean I must always be perfect ? I can't do it Dan. For real, I can't. Don't think that of me too."

The brown-haired lad put an hand on Raphaël's head.

"Hey love. It's okay."

His boyfriend seemed tired. Really tired. He slowly closed his eyes.

"You're right, you're not perfect and neither I am. But we truly are better together. I'm sorry I worried you. I'll do better from now on, and when I have doubts, I'll talk to you okay ?"

He noticed Raphaël had fallen asleep. Dan decided to let him rest, reassured to know their relationship was fine. I'm very lucky to have him... Maybe he doesn't want to be perfect, but to me, he's truly the perfection.

To be continued

Some feelings here. Dan is one self-conscious dude, but Raphaël is here to make him feel better. Btw Raphaël only wants to be treated like a normal person. He knows he’s different (who the hell can emmate such a cold aura ?) but he doesn’t want to be considered special.

As for Thomas, his ambitions are getting the best of him... Beware of the unleashed feeder !

[darkfire1220]

Godzilla: King of the Monsters SPOILER Review!

WARNING! SPOILERS BELOW! IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS YET, GO AWAY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

I made a post just yesterday defending Godzilla: King of the Monsters from the harsh criticism the film has received since it’s release over the weekend. I stand by what I said: I think the critical reviews have really hurt the film’s reception in an extremely negative and undeserved way. Now, that’s not to say the film is a perfect one! It has its positives and negatives, and I’m going to go in-depth into them in this review. I’m also going to be making theater experience comparisons to other movies I’ve seen in the past to help you understand where this film falls under my spectrum. This is absolutely my sole opinion, but I just want to clear some of the air and really give everyone my thoughts on this film.

I’ve gotten to see the film twice now, the first on opening night, and the second about five hours ago. The first time I went in as a huge Kaiju nerd, excited and anticipating the film which I hoped would be the blockbuster of the summer. I’d even go so far as to say that I was more hyped for this than Avengers: Endgame. I watched Ghidorah: The Three-Headed Monster, Kong: Skull Island, and Godzilla 2014 prior to going to see this movie. I was prepared to witness glory incarnate. 

And I did. Can confirm, my mind was blown. I walked out of that first showing with a stupidly huge grin, possibilities whirling in my mind, and a fierce excitement to see it again. We got a bunch of easter eggs in addition to seeing some of my favorite Kaiju on the American big screen for the first time. I got everything I wanted and I felt very positive about it all.

Godzilla and Ghidorah OWN this movie. Not only did I get way more Godzilla than in 2014, but I got to see Ghidorah shine. That dragon is such a savage, showing every bit of maliciousness he’s known for and even when Godzilla gets juiced up towards the end of the film, he takes every hit thrown at him and pays it back. This Ghidorah takes no bullshit from anybody. He deals it out, and he deals it out with extreme prejudice. Everything from his design, sound effects, the unique behavior and interaction between his three heads (I LOVED that, btw) is so goddamn good and I can’t express enough how much you should go see the movie if only to see the kaiju do their things. 

Now Rodan, my boy Rodan! You were once one of the goofiest looking Kaiju I’d ever set eyes on, but my god you got a makeover in this movie. Legendary’s Rodan is a monster in the skies, and you can see that without any trouble. When the planes start to fire missiles at him, he shrugs it off and seems to be more annoyed than anything. Actually, he kind of just plays cat-and-mouse with the jets when he’s pursuing the Argo (The big jet, kind of like a stealth bomber. My dad would disown me for just calling it that because he works in aerospace XD) and only when they completely surround him does he eventually get fed up with the jets and executes a mean barrel roll to essentially bitch-slap all of them (yes, all of them- he kills the entire squad) out of the sky. That was an awesome shot. 

Last but certainly not least, Mothra. This incarnation of Mothra is by far the most aggressive, but still retains a lot of the classic kaiju features. She’s beautiful to see and when they started playing her music theme I got so excited. This Mothra also has a few tricks up her sleeve! I was very, very surprised when she whipped out a stinger of all things! But she showed a lot of loyalty to Godzilla in protecting him from Ghidorah and eventually transferring her power to him after Ghidorah kills her (of course she dies, it’s Mothra :(  BUT there’s another egg in the end-credits, so maybe we’ll get more Mothra in Godzilla vs Kong!). Another detail I didn’t actually notice the first time watching this was when Godzilla went Thermonuclear and blasted Ghidorah with atomic pulses, the pulses sounded like Mothra’s cries and gave off patterns similar to Mothra’s wings. I thought that was very cool!

Also, one thing I wasn’t expecting to enjoy were all the kaiju Legendary made up for the movie. As much as I would have loved to see more Toho kaiju, (I wanted Anguirus so bad lol) the designs for these kaiju, brief as they were, were awesome to see. We got a number of new minor kaiju with their own unique designs, ranging from the mammoth-ground sloth hybrid Behemoth, the mountain-backed Methuselah, and even a massive MUTO similar to the ones from the 2014 film, but with her own unique features. I’ve heard some people call this one MUTO Prime, but I think that might be a reference to a Godzilla comic that was released not too long ago. I think it was called Godzilla: Aftershock. Don’t take my word on that, I haven’t gotten to check it out yet. I could be totally wrong. 

But anyways, I loved all of my kaiju, even the new ones! I’d love to see more of them, even if it’s just little bits and pieces!

Onto the human characters. Yes, your favorite part of this review. Yes, I am being absolutely sarcastic, but to be fair, I personally think the actors did a great job. Of course it’s a Godzilla movie and the plot line is a little wacky, but everyone from Millie Bobby Brown to Kyle Chandler (and especially Ken Watanabe) played their characters very well. The acting was spot-on. I couldn’t really bring myself to truly hate any of the characters. There were some questionable choices, yes, but the actors themselves played their characters very well, I think. 

Now of course, I’ve had time to sober up a bit and the second showing let me think a bit more about the movie and its problems. I’ve boiled it down to three main issues: First, the humans take up too much time. Two, I wanted more kaiju (specifically Mothra). And three, the fights kept getting cut in the middle of the action.

King of the Monsters struggles with the same issue that Godzilla 2014 had in that it actually doesn’t have enough monsters. I’m not talking about monster battles- it has that in spades, (though I found myself wanting even more of that, as well) but I found it lacking when it came to some of the kaiju themselves. The first half of the movie rolls out exactly like I wanted. It starts with a bang and just immediately starts to move. It’s fast, catastrophic, and visually stunning. 

That visual awe, by the way, is something that is maintained throughout the entirety of the film. If you want to see some of the most amazing shots you’ve ever seen in a movie, then this is the one. 

The problem with King of the Monsters starts mostly in the second half of the film, just after King Ghidorah rises from the ocean victorious in his latest battle against Godzilla. At this point, the film slows down and focuses far, far too much on the people. We know that the Titans are rampaging around the world, but we don’t see much of them. Even Ghidorah and Rodan (the latter of whom submits to Ghidorah’s authority after getting his ass beat) aren’t given much screen time to show what they get up to, which apparently flying over to Washington D.C and turning it into Ghidorah’s personal crib.

I would have LOVED to see Ghidorah and Rodan fly up to the capital and basically lay waste to the place, if only to add to their danger factors. They both present an immense threat, but it feels a bit subverted given how little screen time they have together while Rodan is under Ghidorah’s authority. 

But we slowed down and focused on the people, who were sent on a mission to heal Godzilla after the Oxygen Destroyer missile almost killed him. Granted, that is important, but it felt too stretched out for me to really enjoy it. I would have liked to see Mothra partaking more in helping Godzilla, especially since she gets so little screen time in the movie. 

That’s one of my biggest nitpicks as I stated before- I didn’t get nearly enough Mothra. We actually got more Rodan than we did Mothra. Don’t get me wrong, Rodan is one of my favorite Kaiju and this movie scales his baddassery level up so much, but I NEEDED more Mothra to really make the movie work better. Her design is gorgeous and her brief participation in the final battle is fine, but I wanted MORE of her. More of Mothra interacting with the people, with Godzilla, and with Madison (Millie Bobbie Brown).

Just more of Mothra. For a kaiju that plays such a key role in rebelling against Ghidorah’s Alpha status and protecting Godzilla, she doesn’t get remotely enough screen time. 

But let’s get back on track. The movie slowed down after the battle in Mexico concluded and Ghidorah became the Alpha kaiju. And in this, I felt in my second viewing, is really where the crux of the problem lies. Some of the human actions were very necessary and provided the meat of the plot, but a lot of the fat could have been cut out and replaced with kaiju instead. 

The scene with Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and Godzilla was masterfully done, though. For those of you who aren’t diehard kaiju fans, Serizawa was the scientist way back in the original 50′s Godzilla films that killed Godzilla with the oxygen destroyer. In this movie, Ken Watanabe’s character, who is also named Serizawa, sacrifices himself to save Godzilla by detonating a nuclear bomb beside the Titan, which helps him recover his radioactive life force. 

“Goodbye, old friend.”

There’s something tragically sad about that quote and it was the most powerful moment in the film for me. Not just because it pays homage to the original Serizawa character, but because that really takes you back to the original Godzilla roots, when the kaiju was used as a metaphor for nuclear devastation. Serizawa is of Japanese origin and his father was killed by the bomb in Hiroshima (in the storyline). He sacrifices himself to save Godzilla and is killed by the nuclear bomb they use to jump-start the Titan. That echoes hard and reminded me where Godzilla came from in the first place. 

Godzilla gets juiced by the nuclear bomb and goes on the hunt to track down and slaughter Ghidorah once and for all. Cue one of the most epic monster fights you’ll ever see on the big screen...or it would have been, if they didn’t cut away every few seconds to focus on the people. It’s this repetitive sequence in the film that hurts its score the most for me. I don’t care about the people scrambling on the ground, or at least I don’t care enough to want to focus on them when Godzilla, Ghidorah, Rodan, and Mothra are scrapping in the background. 

Like hello??? Can I look at THAT please??? More, please!!! 

What action sequences we do get are great, but god they would have been so much more satisfying and powerful if we just got to see the kaiju duking it out while the humans scrambled in the background, and not the other way around. 

Walking out of the theater this time, I felt like I stated before- I didn’t get enough kaiju, or at least the kaiju I did get kept getting cut off by human nonsense. I still enjoyed it, absolutely, because for me, the pros of the film outweigh the cons. I got to see my favorite kaiju duke it out amidst tolerable human actors with CGI that Toho couldn’t have even dreamed of seeing back in the day. I got my Godzilla movie, and while it wasn’t perfect, I liked what I liked more than I hated what I didn’t. 

To put this in comparison, I think this film falls into a healthy theater experience, but not an outstanding one. For example, I am a Jurassic Park nut, and when Jurassic World came out, I saw that movie more times than I can even count. Every opportunity I could have to go see it, I saw it. I think I saw that movie in the theater something like eight times? Not even a joke, I saw it that much. I loved it so much. That was probably my favorite theater experience ever. King of the Monsters makes me want to go see it again and again, (even now, after seeing it twice!) but maybe I’ll refrain from seeing it quite that much lol. 

But it doesn’t deserve to be thrashed with criticism the way it is. Another example, my most negative theater experience, is when I went to go see The Last Jedi. Oh my god. Now THAT movie made me wish the new trilogy had never happened, and I love Star Wars. Even in my first viewing of The Last Jedi, I walked out of that theater with two of my friends (both of them hardcore Star Wars fans) and we all said out loud, “What the fuck was that garbage?” 

Oh my god we hated that film, but we went to go see it twice regardless because that’s what we do to really determine how much we like or hate a film. The first time is for initial reactions as fans, the second time we go see a film to be more perceptive about it. And The Last Jedi sucked even more the second time, which is why I will never touch that movie ever again. I could go in-depth about it, but that’s not what this review is about. This was simply an example to compare King of the Monsters to. 

If I had had the kind of reaction to the film that I did with The Last Jedi, I would absolutely understand the box office numbers it is currently being pounded with, but I didn’t have that reaction. I loved the movie both times I went to go see it and for the life of my I can’t fathom why it’s receiving so much heat. This film is pieced together BETTER than that horrifying Star Wars movie, for god’s sake, but it’s doing so much worse. Let that sink in for a second. A Godzilla movie’s plot is pieced better than a Star Wars movie. Will wonders never cease?

All in all, I think King of the Monsters is a sold 7.5/10. It’s not perfect and it has its problems, but I think it’s a solid entry into the kaiju franchise, and at this point I’m just praying that the negativity it’s receiving doesn’t hurt the Legendary Monsterverse later on down the line. I want to see more Godzilla movies after Kong vs Godzilla, thank you very much! 

Whew, that was a lot to write. Anyways, my final advice to anyone thinking about going to see it is to just go take a crack at it in the theaters. I can understand why people didn’t like some parts of the film, but I found the positives outweighed the negatives. Long live the King!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #176

rape tw

Do you like to have croutons in your salad? Noooonononono. It's a texture thing. Which do you find more irritating - sunburn or bug bites? Sunburn. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Like... 116? How many contacts do you have in your phone? 16. Do you carry any means of protection on you while out in public? No, but I wanna get pepper spray. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? No, I'm too paranoid of strangers. Do you know anyone who does cocaine? Not to my knowledge. What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I used to be a super in-shape 117 lb. queen that even then felt slightly fat. :') What’s a quality that your sister has that you absolutely can’t stand? One has a serious temper, the other's... well I dunno. I don't see my older sis enough. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Something you would NEVER buy? Uhhh the first thing that came to my head are snakes that aren't directly from breeders. Both snakes I bought from PetSmart were sick, so. No thanks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No, deal breaker for me. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes, Nicole. Do you think your first love still loves you? No, but the feeling's mutual so np. Are you a money saver or spender? I've never had a consistent source of income, but when I do get some from gifts or photography, I've actually proven to be great at saving it for whatever my target is. Hopefully I stay that way when I do have a job. Has a member of the opposite sex ever seen you naked? Yes. Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yup. If you have any piercings, who did them? Claire's did my earlobes, then various people from Garry's Skin Grafix and mostly New Addiction did my piercings. Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailer? No. Have you ever been pulled over, but just let off with a warning? Never been pulled. Have you ever taken shots? (of alcohol) Noooo, been offered to take part I think twice, but it's not something I think I ever want to do considering I loathe the taste of alcohol, hence why I only ever drink fruity things with tiny amounts of alcohol. Do you like mash-up songs? Occasionally, I guess? None even come to mind. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? No, because I have a plethora of my own and don't want to put a child under the supervision of someone with conditions like mine; as well, I'm sorry, but I need to take care of myself. Took me damn long enough to get here, and I'm not going back to how horrible my life was before out of stress and having to handle a child with a severe mental illness. And oh, did I mention the main reason is because I don't in any capacity want kids? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. Do you listen to classical music? Not intentionally. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not? No. I'll admit I like someone if they ask, but otherwise I just don't see it necessary to walk up to your guardian and just randomly inform them that you have a crush. Are you due for a haircut? Getting there, maybe almost two months from now. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? My OCD's been exceptionally bad lately. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Both like certain artists that I do - a lot, really. I do know I also like heavier stuff than them, though. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? Don't live in one. Name one of your psycho exes? None. I was honestly the psycho ex. I was very rightfully broken, but I shouldn't have done many things I did. Why were they a psycho ex? ^ I wouldn't leave him the hell alone and would pester him on Facebook too much even when I was ignored and, most regrettably, make just enough time to blame him for my ER visits before leaving until he finally blocked me. I sincerely don't blame him if he does consider me "the psycho ex." What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I don't care in the slightest about revenge to even think up a situation where I got any. I've never deliberately fished for it. What screen name did you use in 6th grade? FlowerOurQueen ew. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? ih crihmus What’s the last movie you saw? Halloween. Who was the last person to call you? This fucking car insurance agency that calls like every goddamn day. I've answered a couple times thinking that it could be VR and promptly hung up upon finding it wasn't. By now, I recognize the three digits after the area code to just ignore them. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? VR. Where is your least favorite place to be? Hospitals. Where is your favorite place to be? Sara's house. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman? lol no, grow up, 0-19-y/o me denying your own sexuality in fear of a "loving" god sending you to Hell. :^) Would you like to learn to play the drums? Nah. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Types of people. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Motivation to live, again. Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Always with close friends. Have there ever been floods where you live? Oh yeah. Do you listen to K-Pop? No. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Ummm idr, but not very long ago. Sunshower. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV anymore, so I don't know any current ones. But it will probably /always/ be the sexy Mr. Clean one because memories fuck me up. Have you ever tried writing a song? Yes. For one of the Nintendogs tracks. I even moved their heads around to the tune of the song. kms What is your favorite type of juice? Peach/mango. Whose birthday did you last celebrate? My nephew's. When you were a kid, did you have a treehouse? No. We didn't have trees built for that, just very tall pine trees. What was the best school year in your opinion? 7th grade; ironically, the year my depression began to seriously manifest. Do you know (of) anyone who has committed suicide? Sadly. When was the last time you flew on a plane? This past October. Take me back. Do you eat meat every day? No. Who taught you how to ride a bike? Dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. How do you cook your rice? Steam, boil, other? I don't cook. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Nope. Some of his policies I side with, but his personality absolutely destroys him for me. Do you wear skirts? No. I absolutely hate my legs. What color is your house? Like this khaki sorta color. How many first cousins do you have? I have zero clue. I don't even think I've met some first ones. Off the very top of my head, I know there's at least... nine? Have you ever seen a pop star in concert? No. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, not a fan of most. It doesn't put me in the "Christmas spirit" anyway. Where would you like to vacation to? The Bahamas baby, Sweden, Japan... What time do you set your alarm to? I don't use mine. Nothing to use it for. Do you like ginger ale? No, unless my stomach is upset. What time does the sun set at the time of year where you live? Like 5, and I hate it. Have you ever been skiing? No. When was the last time you moved house? Feb. of last year. What did you last feel nervous about? How in god's name am I blanking here??????????? Over something incredibly trivial, I'm sure. Do you find yourself saying mean things to people over the internet that you wouldn’t say in real life? No. Who is the last person to text you? Sara. Does the person you like know it? HAHA she's got a pretty good idea. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the hospital after hearing about my OD, so my mental state was obviously shit, but Jason saw me in more obvious, externally-expressed emotional breakdowns. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I've been waking up much too early lately. What was the last movie you saw that you really liked? Really liked? Probs Jumanji. Do your best friends live near you? Ha, no. Do you have any stuffed animals saved from when you were a child? A LOT. When is the next time you are traveling outside of the state, province, or country? Where to? I'm sure sometime next year to Sara's. What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them? I live with just my mom and pets. It's fine, though I wish I was emotionally prepared to move out. Hell, and obviously financially. Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? N- oh yeah yes, in the Jenna situation. Though I don't truly recall what *kind* of feelings exactly I had. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? No, surprisingly. How was your first kiss? Super cute. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No. Are you the oldest of your siblings? No. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No; that's a deal-breaker for me. I am not being a mother figure to any child, especially when it's not my own. Have you kissed someone 4 or more years older than you? No. Were your parents married when you were born? Yeah. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No. Do you live within 20 miles of where you were born? Yeah. What is your opinions on Valentine's Day? Cheesetastic, is it not? No no no no no I LOVE it!!!! I can't stand that "ugh every day you should appreciate love" shit 'cuz like, why not have a day specifically wrapped around it? Is it hurting anyone in any way shape or form?? What is the last thing you wrote? (typing is not writing, btw) My signature, probably? Do you have an outfit that you consider your "seduction outfit"? lul no. What is the last fruit you have eaten? Uhhh good question. I'm only just back on solids. What was the last injection you received? Was it sore? At the dentist when I had to get a cavity filled. They had to give me no less than 6-7 shots in the same spot to numb me properly, so yeah, it was sore. Have you ever been badly bitten by an animal? No. Favorite sandwich? I'll never turn down a ham, cheese, and mustard one. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance, manipulative, lack of compassion, anger, two-faced, entirely insensitive, rudeness, raunchiness, the inability to accept one is sometimes wrong and that that's okay, BEING A DRAMA NEST HINT HINT, and I could go on... Where would you retire to? The mountains. What was your most memorable birthday? My 21st. Supposed to be your greatest celebration, yet I was in the mental hospital. It still means the goddamn world to me how my peers and employees tried to make it special. What did you want to be when you were little? First an archaeologist, then a vet. I think I only changed my mind upon realizing the original would've been extremely difficult. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. I'm actually not a big fan of the latter, it's too dry and tough. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I don't know, I didn't take Spanish. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have zero clue. Do you like coconut flavored things? nooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I really don't like coconuts. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't believe so? I know many who've been violated or molested, but I don't believe I know a rape victim. How often do you get a fever? Like never. What makes you lose your appetite? Unappetizing scenes or smells and feeling/being sick. Are there any childhood habits you are grateful for or regret? I was taught good manners, for one. I wish chores had been more enforced upon all of us. At what age did you start to wear makeup? Did your mom object at first? I think 9th grade was when I "officially" started? It was freshman year and I had that "it's a new start and you're (this old) now, at least try to look pretty for once" mentality with how my self esteem was on the decline. I did it every day for a long time, until one day I didn't put on anything because I was tired of it and my art classmates (I was close to them) literally asked if I was okay lmao. From then on out, it was sporadic; eyeliner, shadow, and mascara some days, other days, nothing. But anyway no, Mom didn't have a problem. I think I recall her worrying about how it was all black, but she in no way objected. Would you consider yourself an adventurous person? This reeaally depends on the situation. I can't say which I lean more towards... maybe no? Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? No. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater? No. Have you ever been drunk at work? No. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? I dunno. One thing you really want to learn? Digital art. What is your favorite piece of art you own? I don't own any other than my own work. The most expensive bill I paid last month was ____? N/A What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? @ the Silent Hill wiki, I wasn't understanding why a certain member was giving particular information that appeared irrelevant to me, but he got me to understand. I am extreeemely nit-picky over there, having been active there since '12, and now being a staff member, I'm even more specific. What is the largest TV screen in your house? We only have one, in the living room, but it's been the biggest. What has challenged your morals? Wondering if I was bi in middle school, frustration when I was trying to be abstinent in a serious relationship, pirating (which I still know is wrong asjfawouow), mutually being a flirt with my then-best friend's boyfriend, considering abortion at a much more open-minded angle, the justification of eating meat, my experience in life in relation to religion... Those are the ones that stand out. Who was the last female you hung out with? Mom. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? No. Do you want to get married? Yes. Does the thought of moving out from home scare you? A bit. Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? The latter. I'm not paying for superfluous space and spending a gross amount of unnecessary time cleaning. Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I did, but stopped for a few reasons. Do you have any tattoos at the moment? Yeah and NOWHERE NEAR DONE. What about piercings? ^ Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? Natural. What color is your bedroom door? White. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No, give them back to me. Have you ever been to a rave? No. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? Two? Do you think you’re the best thing that’s happened to someone? No. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? No. Do you have a protective father? No. What’s the biggest misconception about you, personally? Uhhh probably that I don't try hard enough, specifically with work, adulthood, socializing, etc. when I'm sincerely doing my best. Are you disrespectful to a lot of people? No. Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? No. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Family" by Mother Mother. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? That'd hurt like hell; he's like a bro to me and is the last close friend I have here. I don't know what I'd say. If someone you wanted before came back now, would you take them? Nope. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Sara and Girt. Jason and Juan. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as? Good question. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? Cheese, mustard, ketcup, pickles, a little bit of minced onion. Idk which I prefer. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Economics. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? N/A What is your highest level of education? Some college. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid? Idr. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? Traffic. I'm afraid of elevators. The last thing you remember dreaming about: Everyone I loved left me, so I tried to suffocate myself. Why do I only recall nightmares, ugh. The last place you went: The parlor to get a new bar for my tongue ring. The last alcoholic drink you consumed: A margarita. The last time you felt insulted/offended: I'm unsure. But I feel it was recently? The last time you kissed someone: October 17th weeps. The last time you held a baby: Months ago when Colleen needed me to hold Keegan. The last time you gave up on or quit something: Vegetarianism. The last video game you played: I finally got a new disc of Shadow of the Colossus!!!!! :'D I'm replaying it and doing both Time Attack modes to get Agro's white coat. The last television show you watched: Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. Are you afraid of shots? No, I just anticipate it being unpleasant. How many times have you donated blood? Once. Would you date someone 15 years older than you? No. What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? An awful stomach virus. I wouldn't stop vomiting. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? I couldn't tell ya. Something in high school. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross? I hate it. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I personally think Outlast is overall the scariest game made thus far, but one I can't play because of the intense jumpscares is SCP Containment Breach. What about your life concerns you the most? Future financial position. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have? Ummm Severin. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced? Certain clothing and makeup brands, like half the shit doesn't even look that great. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart? At least six. Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Definitely the former. If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No. Do you trust your gut instinct? I try to, but don't always. Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom. What are some things that initially attract you to the preferred sex? CHARISMA, kindness, concern for others, a love of animals, and being a gamer oops. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? The breakup and eventual suicide attempt are definitely the saddest. The happiest, easily the last day of Holly Hill when everyone was telling me goodbye and I felt like I was ready to really live again. When was the last time someone scared you? Sara had me worried something was wrong involving me, but it wasn't. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Silent Hill 3 is so fucking weird but also one of the best horror games ever. Name something that you saw within the past week that made you smile: Probably Teddy being cute. Name something within the past week that made you frown: I don't think I have physically frowned this week. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: My mom. Name something that you hope is different by this time next year: My social anxiety has improved. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: Um I have no clue. Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Drawing anthro characters. Name something that you strongly believe in: Gay rights. Do you like pudding? Chocolate pudding. Do you tend to use a lot of big words? No, it's unnecessary. Just talk so people can understand you and not wonder what five words you said mean. Do you fall for guys/girls easily? NOPE. When someone copies you, are you more flattered or annoyed? Annoyed. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips. Flat soda doesn't bother me very much. What’s one show that you wish was still on the air? Deadman Wonderland. Have you ever used a port-a-potty? Omg yeah I know I have at sports practice or games as a kid. I absolutely never would again. What was the last stinky thing you smelled? Teddy's pee; he wet his diaper, and we know he has some kind of infection with how rancid it is sometimes, but we don't even bother anymore because it's recurring. What’s your favorite outdoor activity? Photographing nature.

[oldmonstermusings]

This poem reminds me of us. Has, maybe, put into words what I haven’t been able to say for years. Our relationship was not always closed. There was a time we were open. 

I remember growing up with you caring for me, big sister. You sang to me that time I got surgery. I remember that pretty vividly, actually. Wrote about it in a few other stories I made. Sometimes, you protected me from mom or bullies. We made mud pies a lot when I was a child. My favorite times were when we would celebrate holiday traditions together. 

Believe it or not, but there was a time in my life where I idolized you. I thought of you as this can do no wrong, beautiful being. I never told you, but, sometimes, people would bully me and call me ugly and compare me to you. They would remark how you were the beautiful sister and I, the ugly one. I was never phased by their words. I would actually agree. You are beautiful. I loved you. When you talked over me, I let you. Surely, your words were more important. If something had to happen, I’d hoped it’d happen to me. Surely, your existence was so much more necessary than mine. I showed you deference. 

I remember when you taught me photography. It was because you needed a hand, but it was maybe one of the first activities we had done together in so long. Maybe you think I hate it, but, in actuality, it is a gift that I will always treasure. 

If you call me, you know I will drop everything for you. Still. Even after everything. If you ask, I will indulge (spoil, enable) you. Still. Even after everything. 

A nine-year difference is a bit of a bitxh I have learned.

Our relationship changed--multiple times. Each with a resounding closed door. 

When you went to high school, you were busy. Most always, it seemed. It seemed like I came second to your friends. I don’t remember us--you--making time for me. But, in your defense, mom made you the second parent. You were only trying to finally live, have a childhood. I’m upset. I felt like I lost you. 

Before I went to high school, I met a man. I was 12. He was 21. When you noticed our “friendship”, you showed me attention. tbh, everyone did. (By then, I had been through a lot. I wasn’t dumb. Not in that way. I was cruel. I treated this man as a distraction, a convenient plaything. I didn’t love him. I was only using him for a year until I entered high school. The ending of our “friendship” meant nothing to me.) I put on an act to pump up the attention on me. I pretended I loved him. And missed him. I loved it. (I missed it. I missed the connections with my family. I wanted them back. I was so lonely. I just wanted to be noticed.) When you (and then everyone), found out I had snuck him in the house, multiple times, you cried so hard. Made such a scene. I instinctively felt bad. Maybe cause I made you cry like ugly cry. I felt bad too, I suppose. I betrayed the trust of everyone in my family, but I was lonely. I thought I was doing this right (do something bad, family pays attention, problem solved). I thought after this incident my family would aim to meet me in my loneliness and be with me more. Instead my family distanced themselves from me, I didn’t lose anything so much as my family thought I was a dirty liar and backstabber and rebel instead of focusing on the fact I was lonely and “troubled.” I didn’t get attention or help or even therapy. I got nasty and hurt looks. Silence. I got blamed for this, turned into the villain, instead of being seen as I was: a lonely, hurt, individual asking for help. (My actually asking of help went unanswered too btw). 

You told me a few years later how when you first came back from college, you noticed I changed. I was demure, quiet, introvert, sad. You mention, “I didn;t know how to connect with you. It was a stark change. (It wasn’t.) So, I left you alone.” You never reached out. What I was exhibiting were signs of trauma. I had lost a lot. But you hardly visited, hardly hung out with me, and so when we started speaking different languages, I didn’t know how to connect to you.

When I was in junior year, you moved back in. Gradually, you became like our mother. You are, to some degree, a narrcisstic sociopath. I could tell because without prompting you would announce yourself as the best, favorite, number 1. You would lord it over me. You began to make unprompted and unwanted comments on my life--one in which you know nothing about nor deign to listen or care about. The comments were (are) degrading: the way I dress displeases you because I will never met a guy looking like that--unkept, no makeup, hairy legs and arms and crotch, long toenails, wearing men’s clothing, wearing loose clothing, having acne; the way I never help around the house displeases you because it just proves that I’m spoiled, lazy, a waste of space, slow, no purpose; the way I needed a job because I can’t live off our parents forever, followed by, mooch, freeloader; (And when I got myself a job, oh then I needed a real job at 16. I needed something that would get me out of the house everyday, work long hours, etc. Some arbitrary bullshxt.), the way I express myself displeases you because I just haven’t met the right people yet--the people who will make me straight again, less “confused”, be “real” with me, won’t take “advantage” of me, will repeatedly beat me down with how I need to get my shxt together; the way I live displeases you because you wish that I would grow up--mature, be a functioning human who stops faking their mental illnesses, who gets out of the house, stops talking in a whiny voice, who goes to therapy because they’re the only ones with major issues, learns to drive, loses weight, gets a job, and moves out. You also, like mother, have her temper and violence. If I talk back or don’t, If I am guilty or innocent, you tell at me, deny my truth, chase me, hunt me, and hit me. You traumatized me, and still, I forget it counts as trauma. 

You told me once that I would never be your maid-of-honor. Truthfully, it did hurt. I thought we would somehow become close again. I don’t know you. I don’t care for you. I don’t remember what it is like to have a sister. 

You told me once that no one gives a flying fuckabout me being queer, and that I need to stop shoving my homosexuality down your thoart. I was shocked, more angry though. I hate hypocrites. Y’know what you did after that? You ordered chick-fil-a, booked tickets to a local drag show, bought some pride gear for pride so people would think you’re all for equality, and watched rupaul’s drag race that evening. You love queerness. You “love the gays”. Except when it’s me, your “sibling”, then it’s toxic, nasty, my sex life is taboo, I’m not good enough for women or there’s something wrong with them to like me, or I’m too fat and I can’t keep up with people I like. I’m sorry I ruin your chance at normalcy. I’m not actually sorry. 

When I was in college and you worked close, you would never offer to give me a ride. You only give me rides if it’s convenient for you and/or I can pay you for the gas. Usually, you tell me to ride the bus because you had to. I remember the day it stormed and rained so hard, no one was out on the street, and still you wouldn’t give me a ride. It was dark, I get lost. It took me three hours to get home. I came home soaking wet. I rode the bus like that, the subway, and the walk home. Sometimes, I forget how easily you will abandon me. 

I joined the sorority for your approval. To finally get it. To finally have you approve of something I did in my life for once, and also to stop your constant harassment. I liked it at first. But, I wasted so much money. It may disappoint you, but I’m glad Ieft. 

Every Christmas, you don’t listen but somehow you usually get me the most thoughtful gifts. I appreciate the things we’ve done, but I also remember that I keep you at arm’s length. 

I’m still learning to forgive myself, I wish someone had told me that everything I did for approval, for validation, for calming the storm would never be enough for the wrong person/people. I have murdered myself trying to do right by people who will never see, know, me and my work and my love. 

I worry a lot about the kids you will bring into this world--ones you are incapable of raising. I worry what trauma you’ll inflict on them as you inflicted on me. But maybe, you will treat them better. Maybe they will be normal, and so they will be loved. 

My mom told us that she made sure to have two children, so that we would not grow up lonely like her--the only child. She said we have to take car of each other and depend on each other. I don’t think she understand how impossible that is. I have many siblings in my chosen family. Friends, hyenas, who love and have continued to love me so much better than my sister. What was the point of two children if I still grew up lonely? My chosen family is all that I need.

[aja154ever]

GRANRODEO LIVE TOUR 2017 Pierrot Dancin’ Zepp DiverCity Tokyo - 08/11/2017 (谷山の日)

Set List

Pierrot Dancin’

TRASH CANDY

ナミダバナ

Glorious days

FAT SHAPER

君に one way love

日常ホライゾン

Fake lover’s true heart

バラライ

Shake the Fake

Can Do

月に抱かれて眠りたい

BIG SUN

Darlin’

NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE

ROSE HIP BULLET

modern strange cowboy

UNDER THE SKY

Once & Forever

move on! イバラミチ

Y.W.F.

Punky Funky Love

So here it is again, my GRANRODEO live fan report. This is again coming from someone who is so into Taniyama Kishou but is relatively new to the GR fandom so my feelings are just overflowing. Ok, you’ve been warned. This is again based on my memories and people’s tweets. Long post under the cut!

In the last PieDan live, I was on the 2nd floor but this time I got to be on the 1st floor. Overall, as an audience it was honestly better to watch from the 2nd floor because you can see everything. No matter where Kiiyan goes around the stage, I can see every move and that was favorably pleasing. But this time, I landed in the 4th row in the center, and yes I was freaking out the moment I got there because damn, this is the nearest I’ve ever been to in all the events (GR and not) I have attended in my whole life. And this is Taniyama Kishou so this is 100% hazardous to my own being.

Pierrot Dancin’ - It was the third time I heard this live and this was the best vocal performance so far. Just near-perfect.

Kiiyan always does ナミダバナ really well. 

Again, Glorious Days and BIG SUN are best heard live. Idk why but these two songs really stand out to me as a CD and live listener.

Kiiyan was nearest to me during 君に one way love so I was like, “この愛に気付いてくれ! (Please notice my love)” LOL

日常ホライゾン  - Good vocals not only for Kiiyan, but for e-zuka-san! Yey! Really good “dududududu.” He actually sang some intro lines before they performed the song like, “Today is the last day” “Are you having fun?” “Next will be Budokan” “Will be waiting”

Kiiyan went off-tune at some parts of Fake lover’s true heart. Just mentioning because almost all songs were near-perfect. Btw, Fire Horns joined the performance from here.

バラライ OMG バラライ. This is one of my favorite GR songs ever and this is the first time I heard this live so I was soooooo happy AAAAAHHHHH. He was talking about life as intro then he asked what’s the color of life then I lost it

Shin-kun’s drum solo was quite short this time but he performed tricks as in throwing the drum sticks and having his eyes covered with the towel while playing.

Takita-san’s solo - OMG he went so near the center and I was just staring at his fingers that I think I can see his callouses lol. How can bass sound this good???!!! Uhhh

e-zuka-san’s solo - He performed tricks like playing the guitar on the back of his head, and “biting” the strings. I also fixed my eyes on his fingers while crying internally because these hands have produced such good music for years.

Can Do - Kiiyan came out with a weapon used for throwing wristbands (lol idk how to call it) but I remembered Kurobas Cup 2015 because SuwaJun did the same there and Can Do is basically KuroBas’ iconic theme. 

月に抱かれて眠りたい  - Surprisingly, I didn’t cry. It was my first time to hear this live, and I already expected that it would sound so beautiful. But no, Kiiyan once again surpassed my expectation because it was so, very, uhh, really, sorry, just out of words  ❤ 

Darlin’ - NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE - ROSE HIP BULLET - modern strange cowboy - Ok so GRANRODEO was trying to kill us with this energy-sucking line-up. And again, this was my first time in the very front where people are expectedly the wildest. You didn’t need to jump because the crowd is bringing you with them. Head bangs, body bangs. Don’t mind the feet stepping on you because you also do step on others’ without your intention. I cannot say it enough but for me, NO PLACE LIKE A STAGE WAS DEFINITELY THE BEST SONG OF THE NIGHT.

Kiiyan thanks the crowd for GR is only able to accomplish all these things because of the fans, who he calls their sun and darling. And he can only wish to see more beautiful sights with the fans, under this sky. And cue, UNDER THE SKY.

Once & Forever - Y.W.F. - The crowd was obviously ecstatic with this two in the encore. Kiiyan’s singing skill was superb.

The crowd did better engaging in move on! イバラミチ today than the first time (in Mezamashi Live).

Punky Funky Love - I’d always be biased towards Can Do for encore but PFL was also lively and great as hell esp with Fire Horns.

MC and Other Points

Ok wait let me just say this sorry, back from the first break, Kiiyan appeared looking so fresh that I got captivated again. He was all sweaty earlier, not that I didn’t want that. You know I’ve seen a lot of people look best wearing red, black, or white and Kiiyan is one. But how dare you look so good in blue why just how

Idk what song this happened and I don’t even care anymore, but Kiiyan was on the center rubbing his wristband on his thighs, groin, on himself. Uhhhh how am I still alive

Kishomi appeared at some point after 月に抱かれて眠りたい.

e-zuka was glad with the tour and in the last day, he can see the crowd’s faces as beer. He also felt like wanting to do G12 the following week.

When Kiiyan asked Shin-kun for his thoughts regarding the tour, “How was it with GRANRODEO? Isn’t everybody good? Especially me?” And Shin-kun just awkwardly smiles and nods in agreement. Shin-kun claimed that today especially left an impression on him. He shared that backstage, when he went to GR’s dressing room, Kiiyan was really loud today; he even imitated Kiiyan’s laughter. As it turned out Kiiyan was watching a baseball match on TV.

At first, Kiiyan was having a hard time segueing from MC to UNDER THE SKY so he called out “e-zuka-san, tasukete! (save me).” e-zuka-san then goes like, “Live shows are different every time. The people who come, the songs, the weather, the color of the sky, the mood.” Then he proceeds to sing 慟哭ノ雨 instead!

Kiiyan said that out of all the 18 performances for the PieDan live tour, today was the most fun. 

Kiiyan called out the crowd to say “kawaii”

“Kiiyan is?”

KAWAII!

“The Kiiyan who just became 42 years old is??”

KAWAII!!

“That Kiiyan is??”

KAWAII!!

“You guys are more kawaii!”

KYAAAAAAAAAAAA

Calling them back for encore took some time like my throat was already dried up from the exhausting line-up but there I was still shouting “RODEO” for how many minutes already. Now this is the reason why. When they came back, Kiiyan was blindfolded, with e-zuka-san holding his two hands guiding him as they walk. (That was really cute!)

A birthday cake was presented and then everyone sang him a happy birthday. And Kiiyan’s smile was precious. 

e-zuka-san and the rest wore white shirts with a doodle of Kiiyan’s face which turned out to be drawn by e-zuka-san. The words 「紀章愛」「きーやんラブ」(Kishou love, Kiiyan love) were also printed on the shirt. When the staff also went out wearing the shirt, Kiiyan exclaimed, “That’s creepy!” When the crowd shouted that they also want to have the shirt, e-zuka-san responded, “Okay that’s 20,000 yen!”

Kiiyan ofc expected that something would come up since it’s his birthday. When he removed his blindfold, he somehow thought that his parents would actually be brought there in front of him. “I was prepared to cry. I, who has never cried in front of people even once.” LOL Kiiyan who are you kidding

Kiiyan describes how his feelings of gratitude couldn’t be put into words. That really, love isn’t something expressed through words.

He ate one strawberry saying it was sour but delicious. He wanted to throw strawberries to the audience but ofc that couldn’t be done lol.

They also wanted to cut and give out the cake to everyone in the crowd. Lol there were 2000+ people

When they returned for the last encore, they went out jumping (not walking) in line towards the stage. This time Kiiyan was also wearing the Kiiyan shirt. He said, “A shirt with your own face on it, just how much do you love yourself?”

Kiiyan shared that when his mother found out that Punky Funky Love was by GRANRODEO, she said that it was their best.

They all hugged each other in the end. And apparently, OMG (I just saw this on Twitter I wasn’t able to see this live bec I got pushed back wth), Kiiyan actually removed his shirt and threw it to the crowd. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Photos/Posts from Official Accounts:

The GR classic line-up was the best but frustratingly, this was also the time when I started getting pushed back from my satisfactory view from the front row. So half of the live, I got to see well but then half of it, I was mainly seeing the hands and head of RGRB (and I was almost eating the hair of the RG in front of me). Which was really sad, because I came here to watch Kiiyan, GR, so PLEASE. I’ve never hated my height this much. I should've come wearing the highest heels. And this is why I’m not sure anymore if I would prefer to be on the 1st floor in the next live shows. I am now torn between seeing Kiiyan up close for a few times then totally not seeing him for a couple of songs from the 1st floor, or seeing him all the time from a far from the 2nd floor.

ANYWAY, of course overall, it was again a very, very fun and gratifying night. It was the last day of the tour, and more than anything else, it was Taniyama Kishou’s birthday. I got to personally sing Happy birthday to this year’s most important person to me. I was constantly yelling cheers, but I shouted my loudest when I said “Omedetou!” and “Arigatou!” even if those words will never be enough to express how happy and grateful I am to have met Kiiyan.  ❤ ❤

Next comes G12!! 

[somuchkdrama]

Bride of the Water God Ep1 Pt3

We’re back with the third and last part of our review of episode 1!  

That One Scene - Part Two

dramajib: So my main big thing - that wild boar scene

rocknghorss:  lol I was wondering what you were going to make of it.

triangularlily: Yeah I was curious too

dramajib: I kinda skimmed through you guys talking about it, and I had no idea what to expect, but I laughed hysterically when it happened. Like I'm pretty sure I was laughing for all the wrong reasons. What the hell was that?! I legitimately feel like the second hand clasp (where he adjusts to take the lead and it becomes more "intimate") is probably WAY more uncomfortable for running away together. Also that pig was so cute. And non threatening, apart from being massive.

triangularlily: It also just occurred to me they must have put so much effort into doing the cgi of that… Like that of all things

rocknghorss: Right?!

dramajib: Also also, I've never actually tried to get in the boot of a car (do you call it a boot or a trunk? I get confused with British and American English because we use both here) but I'm very certain my car would NOT fit two people that comfortably, let alone leave room for snuggling.

rocknghorss:  Maybe in like an SUV that would've been possible, but in her little four-door Hyundai no way.  Especially considering how massive JooHyuk is!

triangularlily: Yeah that whole scene was so strange

dramajib: I don't know, maybe it's like the odd-end of korean humour that I never seem to get. Like the gag concert stuff

rocknghorss:  I call it a trunk btw, but wouldn't be confused if you called it a boot.

triangularlily: Same

Vanuatu and Fruit

dramajib:  Is Vanuatu Tourism a sponsor or something? Because that seems oddly specific. Also do dragonfruit actually grow in Vanuatu, or was that just like token exotic tropical fruit? Am I just ruined to fruit-fantasies because I live on the equator?

rocknghorss:  LOL probably you are ruined for them. But yeah the Vanuatu thing was very, very strange. It actually kinda reminded me of Healer and his obsession of going to that whatever island it was

dramajib: Oh God I forgot about that. Did they actually name the island??

rocknghorss:  I don't think they ever did!

Representations of Mental Illness

dramajib:  I foresee some poor representations of mental illness. Like when she repeatedly mentions how he looks perfectly normal on the outside but is clearly suffering from delusions. I want to believe that it's their way of saying "oh you never know who's suffering, it could happen to anyone" but I have doubts

rocknghorss:  Yep.  Also, the whole "are you really hungry thing?" kind of pissed me off.  I was like really, we're going to do fat jokes, really?

dramajib:  omg I didn't even realize it was a fat joke. I thought maybe his fly was open and they didn't do a good job with the camera work or something

triangularlily: I didn't realize either but I was confused with that whole scene

Speculation on who racked up those loans of hers

dramajib: Obviously some family sob story there, she brings up family like fifty times while talking to suspected patients.

rocknghorss:  I’ve perhaps missed something, but where is her family?

dramajib:  I'm thinking dead? Or abandoned her and left the country. Or in JAIL for DEBT. because of stupid Korean laws which is why she hates Korea!

rocknghorss: Lol

triangularlily: I feel like that's a new thing I haven't seen in a lead before.

rocknghorss: Ooh. Hating Korea you mean?

triangularlily: Yeah saying it so explicitly “I hate Korea”

dramajib: Yeah I don't think I've ever seen it expressed unless it's like a... war scene or something, by the opposite forces. Like even in Healer, since Marie mentioned it, he doesn't want to leave Korea, he just wants to leave everything behind, which just so happens to be in Korea.

rocknghorss:  Yeah, perhaps it's only because of the genre of show that we're watching. Like in Secret Forest (because I'm obsessed with that show right now) it's pretty blatant that nobody likes Korea but that's to be expected in that kind of show. Versus this kind of show where it's supposedly a fantasy romcom so you don't expect to hear people giving opinions on the state of the country. But who knows.

dramajib: Definitely something I'm gonna be keeping an eye out for, I don't think it's the sort of thing they'd just throw in there for the heck of it. Also you're doing a really good job of making me want to binge watch Secret Forest lol

rocknghorss: I'm trying real hard!!  Also, going back to her nurse. I actually really liked that he was super whiny. I mean it was irritating, but at least it was new and different

A Brief Digression

dramajib: True I guess. Speaking of supporting cast - was the portrait guy in heaven that musician? The one who's married to the singer who does ridiculous jazz? pause while I google this…. Jo Jung Chi, and yes, yes it was him

triangularlily: Wait in real life or the drama? I don't remember a singer.

dramajib: So like you know when we first see him in heaven, and he's getting his picture drawn? The guy doing the drawing is Jo Jung Chi, a musician. He's married to Jung In who sings really well. it's a weird cameo, because I'm pretty sure he's not an actor. Like at all.

triangularlily: Ahhh I see

rocknghorss:  Ohh lol. Maybe he's friends with some of the cast

That Buried Ring

dramajib: Why did she bury that ring? Why not just sell it at the time

triangularlily: Maybe she was better off before?? I mean her house looks nice but idk if that's just the typical kdrama "I'm super poor" but don't look like it

dramajib: I think her family was probably rich as hell and then she's started getting poor while trying to sort it all out by herself? There's some backstory with the nurse too, when she tells him at the bar that she doesn't want to talk about it. That probably plays into it somehow.

Overall Thoughts

dramajib: I'm confused, to be honest. Sometimes I thought the writing was really good. Like in her first scene with a patient, where they kinda twist it so we think for a moment that she actually understands alien speak, or that she can hear and interpret messages from other beings, because she's the god-servant-person-thing. but then they turn it around and it's just grammar and made up languages. I thought that was kinda smart, and a level of detail I don't usually expect to see from this sort of a romcom show. But then they do this whole pig-hand-holding-thing and I just... what?!

triangularlily: Yeah I think that's why I was so meh about it

dramajib: I'm not captivated by the show, but I'm not dying to drop it either. There are so many little questions to be answered. and also it's just SO PRETTY. That final scene by the road, where every time the light is on her and it's all colourful, but when it's on him it's dark... I bet we'll see so many photosets on tumblr

rocknghorss: Exactly. Also, because it was actually fairly OK, that makes it fun when talking about it with you guys.

dramajib: Yeah! I'm so glad we decided to do this, because I don't think I would keep on with it if I were watching alone. I can't imagine NOT having someone to thrash out that pig scene with. That would be tragic.

triangularlily:  Lol and I mean the writer and pd do have a good reputation so I'm optimistic

dramajib: I loved arang and the magistrate.

Next up: Bride of the Water God Episode 2 Part 1

[groundramon]

Let me be very clear:

- it is homophobic to say gay people cant be villains

- it is racist to say POC can’t be villains

- it is transphobic to say nonbinary people cant be villains

- so on and so forth

To say “no, gay people cant be *insert non-sexuality-based thing here* in fiction” is homophobic.  You are saying a gay person cannot be something a straight person can be.  You are saying that on the basis of sexuality, gay people cannot be something straight people can be.  This applies to stuff like...being attracted to the opposite gender (unless they’re bi or pan, in which case they can be attracted to both and still call themselves gay) or heteronormativity, but other than that?  No, a gay person can be anything a straight person can be.

Am I saying that a gay stereotype isn’t offensive?  No, not at all.  But you need to have context to the show and context to the creative process.  A flamboyant gay man who is clearly demonized for his sexuality is offensive.  But a gay man who happens to be flamboyant, as well as many other things (perhaps nerdy, overly enthusiastic about his interests, ect), is not an offensive stereotype - ESPECIALLY if he’s in a story with a bunch of other gay men.

My point is, Joseph in Dream Daddy?  Call it a missed opportunity if you’d like, avoid the game if you’re personally uncomfortable with it all you want (seriously if someone tries to shame you for personally being uncomfortable with it then slap them, you’re by no means required to like the game), but for christ’s sake, demonizing the game and the creators and saying to steal from them is fucking ridiculous and gross.  First off I dont think turning into FUCKING SATAN is a gay stereotype, but if you’re arguing that “oh he could’ve been a great example of a religious gay person”/”homophobes often view the LGBT community as a cult of sorts” then yeah I see your point on how he himself could have some bad implications but...he’s in a game full of single men and single dads?  Were it him on his own then yes, he could unintentionally spread some harmful assumptions about gay people.  But any homophobic mindsets he’d spread are immediately canceled out by the fact that he’s IN A DATING SIMULATOR FULL OF GAY DADS, said gay dads are also well-rounded and lovable characters.  He basically cant contribute to homophobia because he’s locked in a cage full of gay positivity.  Also, a bunch of LGBT+ people worked on the game, so you’re literally calling LGBT+ creators working on an LGBT+ game homophobic and saying that stealing from them is okay.  Nice.  See it’s people like you that are the reason we dont have more LGBT+ creators, but I digress.

I am SO TIRED of hearing “dont make fat characters like food!!” because I know the people who say these kinds of things have good intentions, but you’re focusing on the wrong issue.  The issue is when it’s their only defining trait, or their main defining trait, or one of their main defining traits.  The issue is NOT that they like food.  I’m sick and tired of hearing “Steven and Amethyst are fatphobic” because no, no they fucking aren’t, please stop.  Steven isn’t even shown to like food that much and Amethyst has a lot more to her than the fact that she eats everything.  Amethyst’s love of food is used as a comic relief every few episodes.  That’s it.  And Steven?  The first episode happened, but after that...?  He’s not shown to like food anymore than any other kid.  You’re making me feel bad because I’m a fat person who likes food.  Like I’m all for fat characters having personalities that dont include that personality quirk, but you need to not immediately get up in arms just because a fat character likes food and instead focus on the fat characters that ARE no more than stereotypes.

I get that homophobia and fatphobia are on two different levels as far as stakes go (to the point where I dont even like calling it “fatphobia” but whatever I’m too lazy to not use that term) but it’s the same mindset.  Saying that a character of a certain minority group cannot be a certain vague thing without it being racist/sexist/homophobic/transphobic/fatphobic/ect is bigoted against said minority group, and I will defend that mindset to my grave.

“Oh but you shouldn’t speak over gay people1!!!”  Listen.  You’re are FREE to be uncomfortable with the game.  I am completely okay if the concept makes you uncomfortable, and I apologize if it’s plastered all over your dash and your blacklist feature can’t get it, or whatever else. (BTW I dont tag Dream Daddy half the time so if you follow me and the game makes you uncomfortable, or any other game/show makes you uncomfortable for that matter, feel free to ask me to tag it!)  You shouldn’t be forced to be exposed to something that you dont like.  But you also shouldn’t force people to not enjoy something just because you find fault with it, and you ESPECIALLY shouldn’t encourage people to FUCKING PIRATE IT.  As I mentioned earlier, YOU ARE TAKING AWAY FROM THE VERY LGBT+ CONTENT CREATORS YOU CLAIM TO BE SUPPORTING.  And besides that, I’m not going to fucking call up my gay friends and be like “uhhh hey can you support what I’m saying so I dont look like a homophobic prick?” because that’s 10x more homophobic than anything I’ve said here.  I’m not speaking over gay people, I’m just agreeing with gay people that disagree with you.  “Listen to gay people” applies to gay people that disagree with you, you know; it’s not a free pass to shut up straight and ace/aro people.

I’ve seen people call Steven Universe homophobic for falling back on too many stereotypes that could give viewers bad impressions of lesbians.  Steven Universe.  And you know what?  Those people express their concerns in a fair, understandable way, and they are 100% allowed to do that and I encourage them to continue dissecting SU as such.  Even overanalysis is beneficial to the content creator.  But SU is also created by a bisexual woman and loved by millions of LGBT+ fans, many of whom have said they’ve become more comfortable with themselves because of SU or have otherwise been helped by the show.  To say that it’s 100% homophobic and enjoying it as pro-LGBT is wrong and that people should be shamed for doing such is taking away other LGBT+ people’s right to enjoy something they love.  Again, “listen to gay people” applies to gay people that disagree with you, too.  You need to listen to them to the same extent that you expect them to listen to you.

But point being, the fact that people are analyzing Joseph’s arc as problematic is okay.  My problem is forcing that on other people.  Making people hate a game even though it brought them some joy at one point because of how you interpreted something, ignoring how revolutionary said game or piece of media is.  Something can be revolutionary and still have problems, so you’re allowed to nitpick and analyze.  But don’t force other people into the same bubble of overanalysis that you’ve found yourself in.

Let people enjoy Dream Daddy without accusing them of being horrible mlm fetishists.  I know for a fact that while I’m sure there are some fetish fans out there, there are plenty more who are in it for the representation and the cute storyline.

[nightcoremoon]

I felt really uncomfortable at pride only because of a tent with a giant sign that said "foreskin feels SO GOOD, stop circumcision today!" the reason for this is, well... that feels really kind of... antisemitic. and also, I feel a bigger issue than male circumcision is female circumcision so it was also kind of buying into the misogyny in certain sects of radical Islam by being silent about that. and also I still have issue with public pride stuff being so overtly sexual when queer kids are present, and it really fucks things over for them when society is already so ready to take anything they can to support their vitriol; same reason why I feel uncomfortable by seeing dildos and shit. I mean, I know that allosexual queer people wanna be proud of their sexuality and stuff but equating gay pride with dildos is not only ace erasure but also buying into the false belief that kids and young teens shouldn't be able to self identify in the queer community because it's directly associated with fucking. which isn't AT ALL the intention, but it makes it so much harder for them because they've got to deal with society's bigotry in a way that adult queer people don't have to deal with. it's kind of ageism in that regard; adulthood privilege, if that's a thing. which I believe it should be since the fat community (if that's what they're called; body positivity movement isn't really linked to that in an intrinsic way, it's just a popular part of it) are tacking fatphobia onto queerphobia & racism & antisemitism & misogyny & ableism (as if they're equatable to systemic oppression (which is a different topic entirely that I'm not gonna get into now)). children aren't able to make the same decisions adults are when it comes to their gender identity and expression and other stuff like that, even though identity as a concept is brought into our psyche way before a lot of other things: before our fucking TEETH come in, for christ's sake. but i digress. [edit- read this passage with a critical eye plz] in the long run, it maybe would be best to stop circumcision. it doesn't affect hygiene, and the Torah/Quran/Bible passages that talked about circumcision are all in the bits that the (alleged in the Jews' (and maybe Muslim's, honestly idk very much about Islam) case) messiah Jesus said were no longer relevant, and even if the books genesis leviticus exodus et cetera old testament stuff were still relevant today, we're all going to hell because tattoos and trimming facial hair and women speaking in churches and being born gay and eating pork and shellfish and wearing clothes of mixed fabrics and being raped or sexually assaulted are all equally bad, which is a bunch of fucking bullshit. this could sound like I'm being an antisemitic piece of shit for saying their belief system is wrong, BUT... those books are 60% translation error and 30% editing by the corrupt as all hell papacy/vatican, at least as far as the western world knows, so western jews and catholics and baptists and a whole host of outdated, broken, and worthless systems of belief are just flat out wrong anyway. but only certain sects of certain parts of certain faiths. circumcision should definitely be a choice that adults can make for themselves, but infants do not consent. I feel you must be at least of legal age to at least vote or get a tattoo or buy lottery tickets to consent to any kind of surgery performed on your body (aside from life altering things like cleft palate, appendicitis, kidney transplants, sexual reassignment surgery for people old enough to have a gender identity strong enough to induce gender dysphoria, etc), the exact same way I feel we should handle any baptisms or things like that. because I fucking hate seeing 5 year olds get baptized when odds are they might not even still be christians in a few years, because I can guaranfuckingtee you that the kind of parents who would let their kids get baptized that young are the kind of parents who coerce their kids into doing so, inducting them into their religion turned cult. and I feel the exact same way when conversation turns to circumcision. do you know why? because I was. and I wish I wasn't. I deeply, deeply wish that I had my foreskin, because as much as I've told myself I should be comfortable with my penis as it is, I wish it was easier to tuck, which it would be if I still had my foreskin. tmi warning, btw. and I get that it's part of Jewish upbringing and culture and heritage to circumcise their babies and have a bris because their God says that it's encouraged to force your kids to being raised in a certain way and take away all of their potential future autonomy and brainwash them into also being Jewish, but god damn it, I disagree with it wholeheartedly and would not choose to follow Jewish belief myself. however if anybody would dare to tell them they can't do it themselves or are less of people and deserve to die because of it, those people can go fuck themselves since you can disagree with a person's lifestyle and not be bigoted against them in some situations. religion is a lifestyle choice, but sexuality is not. [Keep in mind that most of my knowledge of Jewish culture is through my grandmother's Christian lens so I probably talked out her ass for the majority of this whole entire passage.] so I mean. I agree with the sign. I also disagree with the sign. I'm torn in two. I've got points of view that will probably draw the attention of a lot of Discoursers™ who will all call me a nazi and tell me to kill myself again. I'm literally saying that entire systems of belief for a lot of religions are bullshit. I'm criticizing some logical faults in certain fundamental aspects of cultures I don't have the authority to speak about. I said things that can and WILL be taken the wrong way. but do you know what separates me from bigoted assholes? I know that I could be- and more than likely am- wrong about at least one thing I said here in this post. If I am wrong about something, anything: if I misunderstand, and don't have the correct information for anything at all, please let me know. My experiences are NOT universal and I have experienced the world through a very very VERY narrow scope. I'm only human; my brain is only capable of operating on information it has. So if something said here strikes a chord with you, please tell me so that I can unlearn that particular piece of ignorant bigotry. I don't want to be prejudiced against, discriminatory against, or aid the oppression of, any group. But if you know what's good for you don't just attack me because that's not how to talk about shit like adults. Ask for clarification, don't just take all the things I say out of context. Let's have a civil and rational discussion about intersecting bigotry, and how things aren't all just in black and white, and how opposition for one type of perceived bigotry can, in the right lens, be framed as being supportive of another type of perceived bigotry. To summarize: I'm conflicted about a sign. I'm conflicted about sexualization the LGBTQ+ I'm conflicted about fatphobia inclusion I'm conflicted about ageism I'm conflicted about the autonomy of children I'm conflicted about many religions I'm conflicted about religious corruption I'm conflicted about baptizing children I'm conflicted about aspects of Judaism I'm conflicted about my opinions but I'm NOT conflicted about the way to talk about things rationally online also I wrote this coming off of a suicidal depressive low at 4:00 in the morning while hopped up on caffeine after a very emotionally turbulent night and full of shitty non-food, so I may come to regret saying a lot of this later on in the morning, and apologize in advance if I super offend anybody over a misunderstanding of what I said, or a lack of foresight on my part, or having an opinion reinforced by society's love to brainwash us into being really bigoted against minority demographics. this surprise rant is also not even mostly written by me, I dissociated like two minutes into writing half in the middle of the first paragraph hence the probably reason why it went WAY off the tracks and I didn't get back until writing this current sentence you're reading now. [bracketed remarks got written right now]. don't send hate anons, we're all hopefully more mature than that. in all honesty this whole post might get zero attention whatsoever because my followers clearly don't care much about my personal life since I have to guilt trip them into validating me most of the time. I'm gonna wrap this up because it's just so fucking long right now and I'm STILL FUCKING WRITING MORE and it's 5:15 in the morning and I have to be awake in three hours. all because I hate myself.