#this part leveled me i stg

[wraithsoutlaws]

for lack of a better term, i really feel like ive lost my mojo

[hainethehero]

So I made the mistake of stumbling onto the NOT STEVE ROGERS FRIENDLY tag today and..

You have to be a special type of delusional to be this obsessed with a character you don't like!??

Over 2k fics have the tag and are almost entirely Tony Stark-centered fics. I'm assuming these are the "fans" who totally buy into the MCU canon and don't know any other Captain America lore outside of what Feige and Whedon have done. Or, they're the "fans" who refuse to understand the politics behind Steve's character and how he was inherently undermined throughout the entire ten years of the MCU by the directors and writers for most of the films.

Because the arguments in most of these fics for being "not Steve rogers friendly" are really surface level shit like:

1) "Steve refused to sign the Accords and broke up the Avengers" (he was right & he didn't break them up, an overemotional Tony did when he refused to listen to Bucky's side of the story).

2) Steve fought Tony and almost killed him (yeah, like Tony didn't blast Bucky's arm off and shoot his repulsor rays directly at Steve).

3)Steve is homophobic (y'all are just making up reasons to hate this man atp)

4)Steve is racist (Steve hated racists & you'd know that if you read the comics, or you guys are just that deluded that you're making Steve racist & trying to project it as canon and therefore a "reasonable" explanation as to why you hate him)

5)Blaming Steve for Rhodey's accident (WHICH WAS TEAM TONY'S FAULT!)

6)YALL, THEY MADE STEVE THE BAD GUY IN A BROCK RUMLOW/BUCKY FIC! I stg I cannot make this shit up💀 Steve's bad for wanting Bucky to be Bucky again, but somehow Brock's the good guy for wanting Bucky to be the Soldier...

Steve left Bucky for Peggy (we'll get to this soon)

There's a hundred more irrational reasons for the Steve Rogers hate, but let me get to the WORST part.

THERE ARE BUCKY STANS WHO ARE ANTI-STEVE ROGERS.

And I'm sorry, no. I don't accept that you love Bucky Barnes but hate the one person he loves the most in the world.

They argued in a couple fics that "Bucky also went rogue after Siberia but he didn't want to associate with Steve, Nat & the rest of the team- WHO HELPED RESCUE BUCKY & EVENTUALLY EXONERATE HIM- but rather, he went off on his own & eventually Tony finds him, they hash it out and become friends to lovers."

Helppp???? Wdym Bucky isn't gonna stick with the one man he's been keeping diaries about to try and get back his memories? But he'll go to the one guy that re-traumatized him by blowing out his arm again?

Not only that, but Bucky absolutely hates Steve in some of these fics and the reason will be, "he left Bucky to go back to Peggy." Like, you cannot be a serious fan if you're still going with the Endgame canon. For a majority of us, we recognize Endgame as being nothing but terrible writing and mischaracterizations. Why are yall not analyzing and interpreting media critically? The MCU has never been on Steve's side and have always diminished his character in an attempt to make Tony the ultimate hero of the OG 6. Don't yall know the discourse? It's embarrassing atp.

And this is my stance on the entire thing: there's nothing wrong with writing fics about characters you don't necessarily like or aren't interested in. It's OKAY if you don't like Steve Rogers- but you've gotta be rational about him, instead of hateful. Most, if not all of these "anti-steve" fics are written in bad faith. Bad understanding of the character and pure, shameless mischaracterizations which just makes these types of fics fickle and weak- hilarious to read though cos that Brock one had me deadddd😭💀.

[putyourhanddownmy]

Your pinned said to send an ask if i was jerking off to your blog… so.. Hi👉👈

Your posts about needy boys make me feel so wiggly and happy and wanted, and your posts about wanting to hold a boy’s dick while he pees make me really flustered cause i would LOVE to get so comfotable around someone to let that level of intimacy happen, to let each other into a normally quite private part of ourselves… I of course would also love to watch/hold you in return~

But mostly I wanted to send an ask about a post of yours where you were talking about bulges; specifically, do you have a favorite positioning of bulge? Favorite angle? Favorite materials to view them through? Cause bulges can go tucked forwards, which makes an outward bulge supported by the balls, or it can go down and to the sides which is easier in boxers, or it can go up and to the sides which really shows off the shape in tight underwear.

Uhh… anyway, sorry. I’m autistic as hell if you couldn’t tell, but you seem really pretty and that scrambles my brain a bit so uhh, keep being horny? (Affectionate)

-LLB

i will keep being horny no one can stop me 😤 thank u for the long ask bby it was a lovely read!

honestly? i love bulge in all its forms. literally anything. just bulge. it looks so pretty in like every way i stg. obsessed. addicted. gimme bulge!!!!

same as most people i do have a preference for bulge in grey sweatpants bcus i just...ugh what is it about them?? esp if there's a bulge AND a lil wet spot from precum!!! i just wanna rub my face against it-

also yes i wanna hold a guys dick while he pisses so so bad!!!! it would be so fun!!! like super hot to me bcus, well, piss kink! but also just yeah that trust and intimacy is 🫠

[vegannerdgirl]

wait riding a horse is exploitation to you 😭 pls be fr. theres a dif between forcing your horse and harming them (which im not saying isnt common with equestrians honestly We need to put so many of those ppl down i stg) and riding them for fun or going on a trail or smth. riding your horse is not inherently anything, you dont have to! but its literally what we domesticated them for, its like saying working your border collie is exploitation. (horse racing, rodeo etc does not apply we need to kill people)

You freely admit that abuse is possibly common in the equestrian world, and in the next thought admit these people should be killed. But you seem shocked that I believe a system in which horse riding for pleasure is inherently exploitative. This confuses me a little.

Working my bordie collie for what, exactly? Herding sheep I plan to sell to slaughter? I'm not sure you want me to say here. I am against any system that exploits both humans and non-human animals. Saying they are "working" when they have no control over their lives nor do they have consent, whether or not they enjoy it, is not a system I wish to support.

"There's a difference between forcing your horse and harming them" That is exactly what breaking entails, forcing young horses to accept being ridden. It is force. We do not ask them politely, we force them to accept a rider until they no longer fight them off. A horse that does not accept being ridden is a horse with no monetary value, and is therefore useless to the market. How long do you think such horses last before being put down?

In terms of domestication, horses did not willingly submit to being used by humans. Do you freely admit this as well? When we captured them and rid them, did they simply comply? Or did they buck and struggle and fight to get away? Just because we have historically used them for a purpose does not mean we should keep doing so. Part of growing up is learning the behaviors you do that are harmful, and choosing to change them. We do this individually and on a societal level, and we look at this as progress.

There is nothing wrong with reevaluating our relationship with animals, and realizing in most cases, it is entirely one-sided. Which is not, inherently, a relationship at all. It is exploitation.

Adopting a horse to care for them, giving them space to exercise and socialize, is not exploitation. Buying a horse to ride for pleasure is, and always will be, an inherently exploitative system. Because every step along the way was a human forcing a horse to obey.

[hrodvitnon]

Just got out of my first viewing (spoilers so tag accordingly)

Yeah that was the most ridiculous shit ive ever seen and i had a blast lmfao.

--

To get the few negatives out of the way: Syclla and Tiamat got COOKED. That's crazy. Especially Tiamat. I had no idea she was in the movie and like choked on popcorn when they said her name. First onscreen appearance and she dies in like 3 seconds... sucks to be her. But honestly... this is probably one of those moments where Fan Content messes with the perception of a canon thing, at least for me. It hurts a lot more because of the emotional attachment from stuff like Ozymandias's story, Shamhat, and other adjacent stuff. If I had never seen those and watched her die I'd probably think "oh she had a cool design, but whatever". But yeah, my only serious complaint is her being shafted and I don't even really think I can call it objective because there was definitely an attachment there.

Ok besides that this might be my new personal favorite Monsterverse. Could be recency bias but I don't think so. Every human is at the very least entertaining. Everything Trapper did in this movie made me crack up, hearing Bernie say the words 'Discord chat' and 'Ghidorahstan64' (i stg this was a callout of some kind) onscreen gave me terminal whiplash, and although Jia and Andrew's story was sorta surface level, it was still endearing. I'd rather have a good human storyline, sure, but if we can't have that I'll settle for entertaining.

Here I thought Suko was gonna be an annoying marketing ploy to sell toys... I physically snorted in the theatre when Kong slammed him into that one ape. MVP of the film lmao. Mothra was... also there. Yeah, it really shows that she was a last minute addition. But DAMN she sent Godzilla ROLLING with a single attack. Speaking of, I don't think the Tia-Zilla form was as underutilized as I've heard people say it was. Especially that new Atomic Breath effect. Holy eargasm.

Oh man though, Shimo and Skar are fantastic. Skar hits the same beat as like a Celestial Dragon or Vladimir Harkonnen with way more grace than I would've expected from a big monkey. They go shockingly dark with his treatment of the ape-slaves and Shimo... especially with that female ape insinuation.

Holy shit poor Shimo, man. I honestly thought the Skar controlling her aspect would be kinda downplayed and just regular mind control, not genuine torture of some kind. I love that they let her have characterization by resisting him at every chance she gets, and that the pain control isn't always active (i'm assuming that's the insinuation of keeping her all chained and behind magma, it depowers and restrains her when Skar's not actively using her), further insinuating she gets merciful breaks from hellish enslavement only to be yanked back into it whenever Skar needs something turned into a popsicle. I think my favorite moment in the film is right after Suko shatters the crystal and the light blue luminescence fades to reveal her actual eyes for the first time. Eyes are used throughout the film to show subtle humanizing features, like Godzilla falling asleep in Rome, Kong's wide eyes when he sees his kin, and shock when Shimo realizes she's free. Having her eyes glowing the whole film makes her seem way more monstrous and inhuman, so when that suddenly goes away she starts getting framed as just an animal. Also her eyes are pretty. Also, I lied, that wasn't my favorite part of the film. My favorite part was Kong giving her chin scratches and that cute half-hug. This needs to be normalized. He needs to hug Godzilla next film. I will pay someone a king's ransom for this to happen. Final little detail, I like that Kong doesn't do his final roar from on her back but standing next to her, on the same level as all the other apes. He doesn't look to elevate himself over her or everyone else like Skar did, which is a great touch.

Also also also: Think it's time for a Doug solo film where he tries to steal all the Titans' food. Make it happen Legendary.

Much agreement here! I'd love for a solo Mothra MonsterVerse film to really capitalize on her lore and give her stuff to do (without dying at the end preferably); maybe establish some connection between the Chen family and Jia. Also, I need a little shot of Mothra going to visit Godzilla while he's sleeping in the Colosseum and just cuddle up to the big lug.

Andrews and Jia were a welcome breath of fresh air after GvK reversed Mark's characterization and Madison became... that. There was still some slight tension between Jia not feeling like she belongs and Andrews wanting to do right by her, even if it means possibly giving her up, only for Jia to go "you're my mom, you're my home, stop being dramatic". You love to see it.

Adding to the Doug solo film idea... Shimo adopts him because he's cute and she thinks his shenanigans are hilarious. Let us have fun wholesome times!

[wetcatspellcaster]

In a very weird, but sweet way I feel like the Ascendent still lives on some how in Astarion. Not in a way that would make him a threat to fully come back out but I feel like his experience of the last decade and his love for Rosalie (even if it wasn’t healthy) shines through and he’s finally able to have the feelings again that have been impossible to have. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I like to think that he finally felt peace before being Wished out.

hey anon!

that's not weird, I entirely agree. the whole point of 'little love' being reclaimed in Chapter 26 - and the fact that I didn't have Wish undo Ascendency or turn him human, etc. - was that I wanted to have an ending to Pieces that combined both game endings. Bc I am god's specialest princess, and if I'm not going to give myself the exact story I want to consume, who is?

I don't think the Ascendent felt peace before being Wished out - he felt a lot of fear, in fact. But... that's kinda intentional. The Ascendent feared being entirely erased, which is why he never put his own soul into his own body - like Rose says: his problem was simple to resolve, if it wasn't for the level of fear involved. That's because the Ascendent is Astarion's survival instincts and trauma responses walking around and talking. Of course he wouldn't want to fix the problem, bc then he wouldn't need to exist anymore. Astarion wouldn't need those instincts. The trauma is resolved, thus the Ascendent *was* erased.

But on the flip side... for me, the actual truth of this kind of situation is, that letting go of your fight or flight after a period of recovery doesn't mean that part of you goes away. You carry it forward into everything you do. And that means you are correct, anon: the Ascendent 'died', but Astarion does in fact have part of him there with him.

Idk man, not to make everything I write about depression or anxiety or anything, but I remember when I got out of rock bottom, this new daunting arena of possibility opened up of: what will I be next? "Now I'm recovered, I have to make new goals for myself, and I have to decide what those are going to be." And I chose to give that dilemma and that decision paralysis to something that's literally scared to be anything other than what it is. I described the Ascendent multiple times as stagnant, frozen, etc... bc change is fucking scary, I made a monster that is literally incapable of it.

I view Astarion's personal quest as a choice between either getting locked into a cycle of trauma, or doing the scary thing to break free, even if what comes next isn't perfect and you have no guarantee it ever will be. The fact that in Pieces, Astarion didn't break free the first time that choice was offered, makes it harder for him to try a second time. The barriers feel even higher and even more impossible. Does that resonate with anyone who backslid after a period of depression, or didn't make it out the first time? Or is that just me?

anyway that's a bit of a ramble, but yea, he's both! If he was just spawn!Astarion characterisation by chapter 20 onwards, um... they'd have fucked so much quicker, i stg :')

[baladric]

Favourite quantum rule and dreamworld glitch? (in terms of creativity, the experience you had finding it out and actually using it)

the way i "OOOOH"ed out loud at this ask, oh i'm DELIghted thank you for this jolt of glee a;ldkfwa

hmmMMM fave quantum rule has to be entanglement, bc the grander connotations are just absolutely buck wild!!! like by the time we figure it out, we've gotten semi-acquainted with inanimate objects moving in quantum ways along with the shards, and i def took it on a surface level at first (for a WHILE) until!! i noticed solanum's body moving around on the moon, pieced together that it's bc she exists in 6 different states simultaneously, and then got EXTREMELY wigged out about what that means about me, the hatchling ;alkfawf like in all likelihood, the hatchling still being alive and conscious means they're collapsing the quantum possibilities and only exist in the one place, even when entangled on the moon—but we can't know that for sure, huh?

(part of that wig has to do w my general horror about iterative time loops/duplication but it's also Very fun to think about)

also i know you mean canonical glitch, so i'll answer that first—it's honestly a tough call, bc i love what leaving the artifact's render distance does for traversal and the ability to map an area better, v cool and useful mechanic. but. again w the connotations!! bc the external death glitch ruins me!!!! like just the act of crossing that bridge to blow out the vault seal, and seeing the bell ring and ring and ring and just hearing nothing?? that's fucking haunting!!!! even moreso when you parse that the reason it takes blowing out the lights in the starlit cove to alert the strangers, and not the simple act of the bell over the well ringing is because they've been dead for hundreds of thousands of years and can't fucking hear it, just. idk it breaks my heart in the best way.

(also fun fact re: the death glitch—bc it's designed for you to not be able to pop back awake after freeing the prisoner, there's a wretched lil easter egg in the waking vault if you look up the codes for the seals and wake up after freeing them ;alkdfaw :'((((( highly rec doing this bc it's Ghoulish and very sad)

caveat also, bc again, i know you meant CANONICAL glitch, but there's a glitch speedrunners use where you park your ship at a certain spot just inside the stranger's cloaking radius and ditch it there, and like 13 minutes later, it lands in the dreamworld and i stg. the first time i saw a runner do this, i lost my ENTIRe mind. it's so funny and so cool a;fkdaj

[dragonflight203]

More on the ME1 replay, catching up on the Codex and first return to the Citadel:

-The Asari are centrists. Natural enough conclusion, I suppose. Once you get comfortable, you become leery of change. Change might mean things getting worse. And the Asari have a long time to get comfortable

-Why did the Salarian Union betray the League of One? It can't be just to make a good show to the Asari. Those were their secret agents. And how could it possibly be a surprise that their top secret agents would retaliate by murdering the inner cabinet?

Interesting to note that the STG already existed.

-The fact that Turians - well, presumably good hierarchy Turians - will own up to their failures, including murder, if directly questioned will never not make me laugh. I maintain that the Council's trial of Saren by asking him politely if he had committed treason in a public venue was the culturally sensitive way to try a hierarchy Turian.

-I suspect that the Volus might consider themselves to have the better bargain their hierachy-client relationship with the Turians. The Volus have no interest in combat and are excellent merchants. The Turians are horrible with money but excellent at hitting things. It's a classic thug-geek relationship.

And just how much influence do the Volus have on the Turians? The Turians know they're dependant on the Volus to manage the economy. Even if that's not critical within the hierarchy, it certainly is with maintaining relationships outside it. I suspect the Volus have quite a bit of sway on high levels.

That's probably one of the major reasons why the Asari and the Salarians don't want to have a Volus Council member - it essentially would give the Turians/Volus two votes.

(Why the Volus didn't have a seat long before the Turians showed up is an entirely different story.)

-Why did Garrus, the quintessential Turian, leave his military service early? Most stay in the service until the their 30. Garrus isn't 30 but has been with C-Sec for years, and to all appearances is in good standing with the Hierarchy. And no one would accuse Garrus of not being loyal.

You could argue the Turians consider C-Sec service. The Hierarchy military basically is their government, and they founded C-Sec so it wouldn't be a stretch that serving in C-Sec is considered part of one's voluntary service until they're 30. But confirmation would be nice.

And none of that changes that Garrus left C-Sec to run around with a spectre before he's 30.

-Turians recruit from "conquered or absorbed minor races". I would love to see these races in the future. Just want relationship do they have with the Hierarchy? The Volus and the Hierarchy are on good terms, but the Volus voluntarily became a client race. What about one of the races the Hierarchy conquered?

And when was the last time the Turians conquered a race? Before or after joining the Council? Do the Asari and Salarians have to regularly step in to prevent species from being absorbed to prevent the Turians from growing too strong? Is hitting the Turians on the nose with a newspaper to prevent them from absorbing another race just something done every century or so?

-Just in general, I love how the Turians are low key being an empire in the background.

Humanity is very willfully denying how close they came to being absorbed while quietly having severe PTSD about it and building up their military so they'll be on more equal terms if it comes up again.

The Asari and Salarians are just chilling as long as they're on good terms with the Turians and taking steps to prevent them from becoming too powerful. You bet the Salarians have a long list of countermeasures if the Turians start making eyes at them.

And everyone else is just ignoring the elephant in the room, because what can they do about it?

Meanwhile in the game it really only comes up in the codex, because Garrus is your BFF/love interest and loyal to hell and back. You're not going to discuss Turian expansionism while Humanity's brawling with the Batarians in the Atticus Traverse over hospitable worlds and Reapers are coming for everyone.

-Humanity created the first stable AI in 2172. That was way after first contact. AIs are banned in Citadel Space. What is the story here?

-The Armeni entry states that Council law holds grave sites as sacrosanct. How did that happen? Which race? I'm leaning Turian - fits their belief in spirits. Salarians are too practical. Could be Asari; they revere their elders.

-Shepard, to Rear Admiral Mikhailovich: They still serve the Alliance as a spectre, because they can advance Alliance interests as a spectre. I'm sure the Council is thrilled to hear that report.

-I suspect Mikhailovich was testing Shepard in that discussion. The anger at the loss of the ship was genuine, but not all the criticisms he threw out. Those were to see how Shepard would respond. I'm half wondering if Hackett put him up to this.

-Mikhailovich brings up the same criticisms as Ashley about giving Aliens access to sensitive information. Again, that's not an inherently wrong argument. Nor is Shepard's response that at this time collaboration is worth the risk.

-Me, speaking to Liara and Tali on the docks (paraphrased):

Tali: The first time I came C-Sec questioned me for three hours. They think all Quarians are thieves and beggars.

Liara: Did you know C-Sec is the largest multi-species law enforcement agency in Council space?

The irony. Garrus isn't the only one that needed a bit more worldly experience in ME1. Liara isn't wrong, but the lived difference between the culturally dominant Asari and the minority Quarian...

-The I Remember Me quest is brutal. This is some quality writing. With very little Bioware demonstrates just how awful Batarian slavery is.

Interesting that Talitha suicides if you take all the upper right or lower right choices. She lives if you take the upper left or all neutral choices. Rare for netural to do better than paragon/renegade.

I took the Space background last run through, and combined with Old, Unhappy, Far-Off things these two quests provide crucial background to understanding the Alliance's relationship with Batarians. I remember being surprised at how enlightening that quest was.

Meanwhile, the Earth background Old Friends quest is an entirely different beast. That was my first run through and a long time ago, but I don't recall it tying into Batarians or slavery at all.

[separatist-apologist]

Thank you for being so nice!!! I think my main goal right now is to figure out which parts of the city are most comfortable to walk in alone? I live in an area now where I’ve had really uncomfortable encounters on my own street and like I don’t let it stop me from living my life but I’d like to be somewhere with a higher level of foot traffic if possible, I would feel much more comfortable if there were more people around! This will ofc be my first big kid job though so I’m really not going to be all that picky. I’d say my biggest complaint about Atlanta is that if you really want to do anything besides hit up the aquarium and some museums you have to leave the city- the surrounding burbs have waaaaay more to do for entertainment and shopping. So I definitely want to live somewhere a bit more dense. But I’m also not into like night life at all so really I’m looking for like bookstores and park vibes ya know? And what would you say the general vibe is of the culture there? Atlanta is so diverse and wonderful and the Chinese food is out of this world (very important to me) but people are so mean, I stg you walk into an establishment and they do not mind telling you they hate having you LOL I miss midwestern charm so much. I miss the Great Lakes. I miss Meijer 😩

I do think Chicagoans are VERY nice in comparison to other big cities. You should see me in LA HAHAHA- I know Californian's won't like this but they are SO rude in comparison. I had a man cut through a group of people walking slow (annoying), slam into me, and just keep going without even saying sorry even though he knocked me down. It's why I can't leave the Midwest. People are genuinely nice.

Chicago is also VERY diverse- you get all the benefits of living in a big city in terms of food. Chicago is filled with incredible food- whatever you like to eat, you can find it with relative ease (including a Chicago style hotdog).

In terms of where you want to live, I think it really depends on just what you're hoping to get out of the city and what you want to be close to. That'll also influence cost. I don't think I'd ever want to be in the main part of "downtown" or the more touristy areas because traffic is always a nightmare and people are confused + all over the sidewalks.

I'm linking THIS guide here for safest neighborhoods (ignore the first part about the 'burbs) so you could google them and see what's nearby and then kind of go from there? Take it all with a grain of salt, but if you see some neighborhoods you like you can check out whats around them and also visit and get a feel for the area!

[starvels]

Cw: Fatphobia, body shaming, disordered eating, suicidal ideation

We talking about that “””banter””” in Marvel’s Avengers when the team bullied Tony about his weight and he talks about being on a juice cleanse?? Because I hate that so, so much. Like. Tony was depressed! and isolated for 5 years!!! And like, Not Doing Ok!

@blossomsinthemist was talking about it and like :(((((( https://www.tumblr.com/blossomsinthemist/721606463816105984/nat-may-claim-she-never-broke-cover-to-help

Plus the fact that it’s heavily implied Nat, that takes part in the bullying, KNOWS Tony was depressed and suicidal https://www.tumblr.com/blossomsinthemist/721588267817025536/i-need-more-fics-out-squareenixs-steve-coming-to

And like you said, he is still thin in the game, but like, so what if he wasn’t? Tony can be any shape and he wouldn’t deserve that! He could still be any shape and still kick ass in a literal power suit. Like. :(

(I kinda liked how I’m the game Tony seemed to have a bit of a hunch to him, man’s a workaholic that is either typing or leaned over a work table and I liked seeing that in a character design (tho it might just be a bad rig and all the characters have it, it’s just hidden under their costumes), but -11000099999 points for the ““banter””. EG Thor all over again)

yeah! that is what i was referring to in this post. as i'm watching playthroughs to make MA content for STG, i found this scene so off-putting and it reminded me of a lot of other ones i've seen in comics. & feeling just the general vibe reading a comic that i am never gonna get to see fat people be heroic. especially not at least, without emphasizing that they're a fat person sure, but they are still heroic, don't worry!

fat heroes' heroism always comes as a caveat to their body shape and weight.

nasty!!!!

but yes blossoms' point here abt tony and perception of self and internalizing a lot of judgement values about his appearance and how fun it is to explore that are so apt!

blossoms always handles tony's relationship with his own body in such compelling and intricate ways that are very tender and vulnerable. and i agree! i also like exploring these themes and playing with how tony relates to being a public figure, as well as how he relates to himself and the ways in which he feels pleasure or contentment or beauty or pride.

to blossoms+anons second point, abt nat knowing, yeah. if you read it just in-text, it can be really complicated by their own individual and combined relationships to trauma and processing and how much info they are sharing between them. that's always very interesting to eke out of interactions w the two of them -- two people who can guard their hearts and heads so intensely.

but taking a meta-textual approach to it, i flat out think when people ascribe their own -isms to characters, they are not thinking about how it fits a character's personality or interpersonal relationships.

we, as the fans, do the labor of asking how it can be internally consistent for a character that grew up without bodily autonomy, that knows intimately how loss and trauma affect your bodily functions, who knows exactly how tony fights and what it takes to do that, who knows that bodies are only one tool in a whole box -- makes fun of someone who trusts her, on her team, for potentially gaining weight. we hypothesis and convolute the relationship and infer from the absences of a canon text. the writers don't have to do any of that work. and that more than anything generally proves to me how shoehorned in all the -isms people apply to characters are.

they're not thinking three levels deep. and to be honest, i like our collective 3 level thoughts better than there, so ! phooey on them!! they don't get a seat at our table.

it literally doesn't matter what your body looks like if you're designing a metal suit to go around it that is based on non-physical input to function. and tony's found family should abso-fucking-lutely not be (even jokingly) shaming him for disordered eating and suicidal ideation, esp not during a battle lol. but yes, tony should have a hunch and neck problems and whine and use a heating pad and tiger balm too much <3 beloved greasemonkey sun.

[cynicalneoprincessism]

just read your latest blog post - and as usual, i'm bookmarking it into my coord inspo folder ^_^ i'm also super happy to hear you like psychonauts ! do you have a favourite level or character in the game ?

Ahh thank you that's so sweet, I'm so happy you like my blog!

I love Psychonauts! I used to play it on the Xbox when I was younger so I was so excited to discover it was on Steam for cheap. My favourite characters are Raz (ik I'm basic for that) and Mila.

And tbh my favourite part of the game is exploring the campgrounds with this banjo music playing lol. I think because I wasn't great at the game when I was younger I spent ages trying to avoid finishing Sasha's shooting gallery and so this piece of music is burned into my brain in the most comforting way lol.

I also love Mila's dance party, waterloo world, black velvetopia. Honestly just most of the mental worlds. Except the meat circus. Theme-wise it's cool but I literally haven't finished the game because I can't save little Oly from those fucking rabbit monsters and I stg if I have to hear him say "ow" one more time I will go insane.

I also just got Psychonauts 2 this summer and and really enjoying it. Though I've had a bit of a break from it for a few months because Compton's Cookout is stressing me out with the timer lol.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

As a person that greatly enjoys ruined orgasms I want to voice my excitement at seeing you talk about it!!

✨Excitement!!!!✨

And because I also really can't help myself I want to put my mustard into the mix too.

Absolutely love the way you described a ruined orgasm, because it really is all about the feeling that keeps going but without a real conclusion. The body shakes and spasms, the moaning, the throbbing and pulsing - It all just keeps going but you don't do anything about it. I mostly do it when I'm feeling torturous and like edging myself (or during phone sex but I'll get back to that), and at some point there will be an edge that I know I won't get through. Where I get way too close way too fast and I know that I'll have to ruin the orgasm. Because in my head and my fantasy I'm not allowed to cum yet.

So there's this small moment of bliss where I can't pull my hand away fast enough right before everything comes crashing down. It feels like eating your favorite dish but the one ingredient that pulls it all together is missing. It's still your favorite dish of course and it's not bad, it just feels a little empty and unsatisfying.

Like someone telling a joke and accidentally dropping the punchline before they finish the set up.

For me personally, a ruined orgasm leads to some of my favorite noises that I make. And it will probably make me cry too, which is also really hot to me. So in combination the ruined orgasm feels incredible to me. It also makes me more frustrated and ensures that when I do let myself cum it's gonna be a fucking big one that'll probably go on for a WHILE.

I've also found that it's even more fun to do with someone else, the best way for me being over the phone. There's something incredibly hot about a person not being with me physically, but still getting to control me like that. When my FWB tells me to edge and then hears me accidentally coming he immediately tells me to ruin and it's one of the hottest fucking things to me. In those moments I also tend to apologize for accidentally going over the edge even when he told me not to, and doing that while still in the throws of a ruined orgasm is such an intense feeling.

I really hope this wasn't too TMI I just couldn't hold myself back from dumping all of this, I got too excited haha.

I hope you have a wonderful day/night Bex! :]

- 🦇 (hope no one's claimed that one yet)

Hey, hey Batty! So this is not TMI at all! I love, love, love this kinda talk and you coming in here with it is just, a breath of fresh air. Someone who truly GETS it! Who understands this part of me on a deep level, it's awesome, I feel so seen. Thank you so much for throwing your hat into the ring.

All your reasons are ones I have seen other people who regularly practice claim and I neverrrr get tired of hearing it! I am so glad you shared, people being open about what they love, esp the sexual is like half the reason I am here stg, you are ALWAYS welcome in here!

[firespirited]

seriously trying to do research is a circular nightmare and I can’t tell if it’s current search engines or just a complete disconnect between the research and the people. I keep running into age regression is a regularly used coping mechanism also used in therapy [citation not provided] or worse [citation Freud and Jung - are you kidding me?]

Age regression therapy was part of a subset of damaging therapies highly warned against and completely off limits for treating minors due to high vulnerability and suggestibility. We had to rewrite the rules on how children are questioned in criminal cases because of therapeutic hypnotic or suggestive age regression.

All medical pages say that if you do age regression as a coping mechanism voluntarily you should be speaking to a therapist about it and also exploring other options and involuntary regression is a sign that something is very wrong.

The few therapists online talking about it offer hypnosis and some of them offer past life or corrective attachment therapy. I grew up during the satanic panic, during “refrigerator mothers", you have no idea how many red flags this throws up.

I have experienced age regression in person in mentally ill people and it wasn’t something they’d want to do voluntarily but an unpleasant trauma response more like a meltdown, self-care did not involve infantilization quite the opposite, it was about giving them the space and grace you’d give a child (which was more about forcing the ableist/NT caregivers to understand that adults can experience distress on a level that requires the grace you’d give a child).

3 of my grandparents experience/d age regression as part of dementia or adult autistic meltdown: to care for them is/was to never lose sight of their adult dignity, giving them whatever they need without ever codifying an item or want or fear as childish. You want your bedsheets tight and a song, you need me to go to the loo with you because you’re scared? this will happen with ZERO baby talk because part of you is 6 right now but another part hasn’t been 6 for 70 years. STG there was no infantilization allowed at the care home for Down’s syndrome and autism, it wasn’t policy, it was enforced by the patients who would shun disrespectful carers.

Feels like I’m being played on all sides. I can’t find information about self soothing behaviours vs controlled role play vs therapeutic grey zones. Just a mishmash of people all using the same terms and demanding to be seen as legitimate: obvious quacks and people who allow themselves to be in a childlike mindset (which is fine so long as it’s part of a healthy mindset that allows you to treat yourself nicely when an adult too) but who are all using this highly controversial clinical term.

[troglobite]

two thoughts

first i currently feel like i'm dying & don't quite understand why or how so i'm naturally panicking about it which is making me feel worse (i'm using mild hyperbole here)

and second i think i really need to be less afraid of trying to kill my players in the miss frizzle campaign.

e.g. under the cut (don't read if you are one of the players in the campaign)

one of the players got swallowed by a beastie last session on sunday

it required 30 damage in one hit and a failed DC 14 CON save from the beastie in order to spit them back out

i had an npc manage to do 29 damage in one hit

and i said to myself "eh that's fine, that's good enough"

i don't remember if i even had the monster roll the CON save or not

all i did was make the character take 15 acid damage while being spat out.

i should've stuck to my guns.

they could've gotten there. they're all level 10. even though there are only 4 of them on this mission/class session.

case in point, our deeply, scarily, freakishly overpowered druid cast a fireball and did 30 damage like literally the very next turn. i didn't need to fudge the damage there. i could've let the player sit in the beastie's mouth for another turn or two, or even another round.

and if i didn't get so overwhelmed while running combat (i SERIOUSLY need an assistant to help with combat) i could also be doing the fun Extra stuff to make things even scarier and more intense.

but--a player did note. "we're probably not gonna die. we're with miss frizzle and nemeia--it's why they're here."

and that is true, and i didn't confirm nor deny it. i haven't said it out loud. but that is absolutely true.

i mean. up to a point.

once again if you are in the campaign stop reading.

but i have

plans

so it'll be interesting to kinda slowly turn things around them

"ah yes miss frizzle keeps you all safe" get them feeling like. Confident in their security, right?

i've currently laid the groundwork for "wow something fucky is going on in the world, i wanna know more"

and miss frizzle is bouncing back now after the attack on the festival and so we're getting into the swing of things and it's more like her normal classes

and i'm gonna get everybody used to that

and then when things start getting...deadlier

well. y'know. that'll be interesting.

but legitimately if anyone wants to help me run combat during these games i would be forever grateful

i can track: conditions/recurring saves and rolls, locations, everyone's movement and reactions, rounds, hp for beasties, etc.

you would track: monsters/combatants, npcs, do their turns and rounds for them, strategy, lair actions and effects, custom rules for critical hits, etc.

bc it's so silly--as a player i was ALWAYS tracking that stuff^^ that i listed as stuff that i can do. idk why. it was second nature.

as a player i'm always like "hey don't forget your ability" or "is that concentration?" or "it hasn't been a full round yet"

as a dm i stg i'm like "wait what happens? fuck thank you for the reminder. oh god what's going on?"

bc i'm panicking trying not to take forever to make npcs and the beasties take their turns and make their moves.

i wish i could hire someone who was good at running those elements of combat bc it's the most difficult part for me--

and it's also the stuff where, when i get overwhelmed, i just fudge things in the players' favor and i really fucking shouldn't bc i need it to feel deadly and like there are consequences!

anyway like i said i feel kinda like i'm dying so my arms hurt in really strange ways so i should stop typing and try to find a way to stay awake i'm. freaking out. lol

[rayatii]

I think we have reached the point where I am supposed to start the plot of the opera (well, it's still winter in my save, but I can advance the season to summer; should I?) But anyway...

I purchased 3 mini goats and 3 mini sheep through Giannetta's household! (this means that I unfortunately cannot make Nemorino milk the goats or shear the sheep 😢) (also Gianni is tense bc his daughter was spying on him in a very obvious manner.)

WHY does Duane have to follow me EVERYWHERE I go??? ESPECIALLY during a date!

I got Belcore and Ash (yet another one of Adina's former classmates) to WooHoo in the supply closet at the gym.

Nalani you're making things awkward (btw Belcore had tried to hit on her at this same gym a few days prior during his kissing spree but failed. Probably bc she was stuck in a convo with other people.)

Show off them moves, Belcore!!

LMAO Adina's dad is at this same nightclub 😂

It's Winterfest, and Adina has decided to gift a rare stone to Nemorino (she has a spare one in her inventory). He loved it!

Now that I think of it, I should have had Nemorino gift something to Adina instead, it's more fitting with the plot of the opera... 💀

LMAO I took Adina to the ice skating rink in Finchwick, and Dulcamara was present, clumsily practicing figures 😂 (I also cheated her skating skill to level 3 bc it's a hidden skill.)

Wait, Sanook is back..?

I had Adina organize a Winterfest dinner party for her tenants (with a tofurkey for Gianni, of course.)

Father Winter showed up, and here's Adina opening her present (a new tablet!)

And she asked him for another present, which she got (a coffee machine exactly identical to the one she already has in the kitchen. But I replaced it anyway.)

Looks like Principessa is afraid of the toilet flush...

Adina made a garden salad to try and get gold for the dinner party event (she only got silver), and Nemorino ate it :) I just find that sweet...

There was some sort of glitch that made all the guests stay long after the party had ended, and no option to send them home. But awww Julie Brock bring nice to Principessa 🥰

Nancy has been crying in the bed in that one spare room. Probably bc she had a bad Winterfest.

awww sheep and goats and chicken :) (I wanted them to stay within the cow's fence but I had no way of keeping them contained, so free they are. At least they don't seem vulnerable to foxes.

Adina autonomously pulled out her new tablet to read an e-book. Very in-character.

Nemorino hugging a mini-goat 🥰🥰🥰

Okay, that is so cute.

This is truly a livestock daycare right here. (yeah, that's every single mini-animal here!)

oh DAMN Belcore, that's one couple costume choice right here! (also the WooHoo option is called "Put out [a] fire".)

(Belcore has conquered Yuki Behr as part of his eighth and final conquest for the Serial Romantic aspiration. He completed it, and has switched to the Bodybuilder aspiration.)

WHY are you two cockblocking me?!!! (that's Loario, Dulcamara's (and formerly Adina's) butler, and the father of Jeb Harris, one of Adina's exes.)

OH SHIT, Yuki's older sister is there.

Nemorino decided to ask about his love life to his Future Cube again, and got the same, terrible prediction. Don't you worry, Nemorino, your dreams of love will soon come true!

It's Night on the Town, so I had Nemorino, who at this time has zero simoleons to his name, treat himself to his favorite drink at the local bar. (it's Juice on the Rocks. Surprisingly a much more sophisticated taste than Adina. wtf, game mechanics?!!)

Wait, now Loario is back at Adina's place?!! This game is truly broken, I stg.

Tune in next time to see the plot of the opera actually in motion!

[elendsessor]

the worst part about specifically dds camazotz is straight up just doing the same fight repeatedly. i like the gimmick in theory (landing equals pelt with ground) but like he takes forever to go down. i stg bat forever ruined camazotz in everything else because atlus saw that and went “we’ll make him be everywhere and also make him a tank.”

just in my experience with the ds/3ds megatens where camazotz existing as an encounter is a normal occurrence in early/semi mid game was already a problem but after finishing dds for the first time like a year ago his presence gives me ptsd. shooting him does nothing he eats that shit up. idk how he was in the og soul hackers but in the 3ds version he also sucks mainly bc demons can’t level up so i dragged his sorry ass around only for him to die. he’s only a tank when he’s fighting against you.

i blame bat for this

at least his dds design accurately depicts him in a special way.

his head looks like a penis

he’s a literal dickhead

atma avatars truly represent the people who turn into them