#this only took me 5 weeks to finish (and that's including the almost a week off for my wrist to heal)!

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

Part 2 of the Loft Series❤️❤️❤️

Part 1 here

[takumiraine]

Once Upon A Time chapter 5

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Jason Todd knew it was only a matter of time until his bubble burst and one of his brothers found out what he was getting up to. He was just hoping he could pull it off for a little longer. Even though the pit still reacted at the strangest times, he felt calmer, more normal, than he had in years. He wanted to hold it close and make sure nobody could take it from him.

From Replacement: you went back to college? Does B know?

Fuck.

—

Danny had been wary at first. Rich boy Jason Todd-Wayne in his college classes. The man was older than Jazz, though not by much, and a freshman with him. Either the guy was a bad influence or Danny just had really shitty luck.

He and the universe both knew the answer to than one really. But 60 bucks a week to reteach the guy basic math and Jason always gave him dinner in the deal? Danny wasn’t going to look that particular gift horse in the mouth. If there was one thing Danny had forgotten during the past almost two years it was how hungry his human side got. Not having money and being on the run meant opportunities to eat were few and far between.

What Danny didn’t expect was how sarcastic and assholish the rich guy could be. He loved trading snark. Danny assumed that it came from them both having older siblings. But between that and the half formed core that was slowly shoring up, Danny found himself growing attached. He had missed having friends. Getting to talk to Sam, Tucker and rarely Jazz through a conspiracy message board wasn’t enough. Most of the time it was just a way to make sure that nobody had been captured by the GIW. They had a way to pass longer messages but to do that too often would be suspicious.

“So I don’t get it,” Danny said, gesturing at Jason with some fries almost a month into tutoring, “What do people actually do at Galas? The tabloid pics just show a bunch of people in uncomfortable looking suits standing around with champagne.”

“….thats really it. It’s boring as shit.” Jason kicked his chair back on two legs, leaning against the wall. “If I liked you less I’d invite you.”

“If you liked me less?”

“Oh yeah. Because then you’d have to meet my brothers, the assorted not quite adopteds, my dad and scarier yet, our butler.” Danny choked on his laugh.

“Your butler is the scary one in that situation?”

“Alfred is like a ghost. Always there when you turn around.” Jason put on the accent “Master Jason, you really must come home more. Nobody quite enjoys my cooking like you.” He let the chair legs settle on the floor. “Now imagine that from behind you in a dark kitchen at two am while you’re half drunk and trying to make a sandwich.”

“Okay, yeah, I could see it being that scary. My sister was….” Shit he hadn’t meant to mention Jazz. “She was the only one who cared sometimes.” May as well rip that bandaid off.

“Yeah?” Jason asked, taking a drink from his coffee cup. “Didn’t know you had a sister.”

“My family and I don’t see each other anymore. It’s for the best.” He hoped Jason wouldn’t ask more questions, because ‘my parents sold me out to the government that only knew where I was because of the Justice League which is why I hate them and by association your dad, and now my sister is in hiding in a different state with a new identity’ was way too difficult to explain. “I left before they could kick me out.”

Danny watched Jason’s face twist into a frown. “Bigots suck. Sorry man.”

“Yeah…. Well…” Danny busied himself with finishing his burger. Then, once he chewed and swallowed. “Wait. Is your dad the one that fell into the champagne tower last year?”

Jason groaned, “he’s not always like that I promise.”

“No I get it. A weird ‘Family Friend’ invited us to his fancy party so he could hit on my mom once. I accidentally on purpose took out the entire buffet table including a cheese fountain so we had to go home.”

“Cheese fountain?”

“You know those chocolate fountains?” Danny asked. Jason nodded. “Like that, but with fondue cheese instead. And before you ask why, all I can say is it was in Wisconsin.”

Jason watched him with an unreadable expression for a moment, and Danny assumed he was processing it, because when the expression broke, Jason was laughing.

He looked so much younger when he laughed like that, and Danny remembered that they had both had, in their own ways, a rough life. “Yeah. I know. I was finding cheese in the weirdest places for weeks.”

“Did you get invited back?” Danny’s heart ached with the fact that a month or so later, Everything Fell Apart.

“No… I…” he cut himself off, remembering the horrified looks his parents gave him as their weapons, the ones he fixed, were turned against the ‘beast’ that ‘possessed’ their son. The looks mimicking the ones they gave him when the party screeched to a halt as he did his best impression of a Scooby Doo villain being unmasked. The screams of shock turning into ones of horror. The -

“-anny? Danny?” He blinked and shook his head.

“What? Oh, sorry.” He took another drink from the coffee, emptying the cup. “No. I never was asked back. You done?” He looked at their empty plates and grabbed the tray. “We should get to the library. Though I’m sure someone as good looking as you has plenty, these x-es won’t find themselves.” He was overcompensating for zoning out now, words coming out faster than normal.

“Yeah… are… you okay?” Jason asked, as Danny bussed their tray and grabbed his backpack, a backpack bought by his tutoring money. A tutoring gig he desperately did not want to fuck up with his own bullshit.

“Me? Fine. More than. I just zone out sometimes. Come on.” Danny’s words were still coming out too fast. He took a few breaths during the couple seconds Jason took getting his things, trying to ground himself as much as possible. He was going to be normal. He was going to be normal if it killed him. Again.

The walk to the library was quiet and Danny was thankful for that. He needed to get his head on straight if he was going to be any help to Jason and he still had his own homework to do after. As they walked in, both Danny and Jason instinctively looked towards the desk where Barbara usually worked, but she wasn’t there, some other guy was checking in books with quiet beeps.

Danny had learned over the last month that while Dick, Tim and Damian were Jason’s official siblings, Barbara was an unofficial one and he liked her the most.

It made sense, since she didn’t seem to pry into Jason’s life the way Jazz would have if she was here. Not that he would have minded her prying for how much he missed her, but four years ago he would have hated it.

—

Jason knew the haunted and hunted look that had settled into Danny’s eyes. The way he trailed off into something vacant. How his breathing seemed to get stuck in his chest. Which is why he tried to interrupt the cycle before he could spiral. Something big happened to him, and Jason knew he wouldn’t want to break down in a cafe in front of people.

Thankfully he seemed to snap out of it quickly, instead overcompensating into energetic. The message was clear. ‘Don’t ask about what just happened.’ Carefully, Jason let Danny lead him into the library, aware of his positioning and making sure not to follow too far behind or loom too much. Considering he had at least six inches on Danny, that last part was hard, but he tried.

He could feel the pit spiraling in him, circling and coiling like a dragon deep in his chest. Itching to do…. Something. It wasn’t punch or claw or fight. This was new. He didn’t like it in the slightest.

He looked over to where Babs usually was, then remembered she had a class, criminal justice degree, how apt, as he and Danny went towards what was now their spot. Jason found he had the sudden impulse to pull Danny’s chair out for him, and shoved that particular useless idea back down into the abyss it belonged in.

—

Danny looked over at Jason who stood at the edge of the table looking…. Angry? Confused? and pulled out his own books. “I promise, my zoning out isn’t contagious.” He said, looking up at Jason and kicking the chair across from him out from under the table for Jason to sit. He gave a wry smile, “if it was, I don’t think anyone in my high school would have made it.”

Jason snorted a laugh, snapping out of whatever thoughts he had been thinking. Jason pulled the chair out further and sat, sitting more comfortably than he used to. More of the true Jason, Danny was realizing, less of the person he was supposed to be. In another lifetime…. But no. He couldn’t… not while he was being hunted. It wouldn’t be fair to Jason to have to hide such a huge part of himself and his past.

Not to mention he hadn’t ever come out to Jazz and his friends. Well he had…. But more in the ‘hey I’m dead but not really’ way and less in the ‘so I like guys’ way.

But in spite of those barriers, this tentative friendship with Jason was enough to keep him happy.

Which made the next kick in the teeth from the universe completely expected.

All he had wanted was to walk home in peace. Sure it was almost midnight, in Gotham, but still. He made it most of the way, and was slinking through the Bowery when it happened.

Guys with dark clothes and weapons were suddenly in front of him. He turned only to see more at his back. There had to be five in total? Or was it six? Danny didn’t have time to count.

“Hey guys.” He hedged, muscles tensing as he raised his hands to show he wasn’t a threat. “Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to get home. Long walk and all that. If I could just…. Scooch past you?” Danny took a step to do just that and the lead goon swung at him with a baton.

He hopped back slightly, dodging the hit when it came. “Not a chance. Boss needs some…. Help with his latest ideas. You’re coming with us.”

Danny ran through his options in his head. Option 1: get kidnapped. Option 2: get the shit kicked out of him. Option 3: beat the shit out of them and get labeled as a possible bat to be or possible rogue to be. Option 4: go fully ghost and either escape unscathed but wind up more firmly on the GIW’s radar.

Option two or three would wind up happening, because he wasn’t going to put himself at the mercy of the Bat-ass again, and he wasn’t going to offer himself up on a silver platter to the GIW.

The moment one tried to grab him, Danny dodged out of the way, and that seemed to bring the goons on him en masse. They seemed well practiced, but considering it was Gotham, there wasn’t a big surprise there. The next few minutes were a flurry of elbows and knees, punches and kicks, batons and clubs.

Danny would dodge and counter, disarm one and fling their weapon across the street. He would have sore ribs and bruises from his elbows to his knuckles come morning but he was slowly winnowing them down. He had a brief thought about the conservation of ninjutsu, as the fewer goons there were the stronger they seemed to get. The realistic answer was they were less concerned with hurting each other when there were fewer of them, he knew that. But everything was more fun with ninjas.

When there were three left, one threw a punch that connected with his nose. There was a pop and crunch and a hot rush of blood down his face even before the pain set in. He spat out the blood that collected in his mouth from the way his head snapped back when he was punched. Another one came at him, and his own years of training caught the guy’s arm, judo throwing them into another look and sending them both careening into a wall. The move was trickier with gravity, but he made it work.

Danny looked up at the last remaining goon. He grinned, teeth too sharp and stained with his own blood, eyes glowing just the faintest green. “Run.”

They did.

Unfortunately for the goon, they ran smack into the chest of one Batman.

[biisexualemma]

guts pt.7. bucky barnes

word count: 4.5k

warnings: triggers, trauma, ptsd, mentions of blood and injuries

requested: i guess so

plot: bucky is awol and you have to navigate without him

a/n: this series is pretty intense sorry for all the angst but also i live for it lol also this is preeeettyy long but i promise it's worth it... just stick it out to the very end...

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / masterlist

you walked into the kitchen, expecting the room to be empty, instead you caught steve with a mouthful of cereal sitting at the kitchen island alone. you hesitated, about to walk back out and return when you didn't have to face any of them.

you were exhausted, physically and mentally, you'd had nightmares every night for nearly a week. you were getting next to no sleep, you felt like a zombie in the day time, bags under your eyes, brain fog, your body felt physically weighed down. you tried not to let it show when you were around the rest of the team, but you were struggling the longer it went on.

just as you took a step back to head back to your room, steve spoke up. "i'm nearly finished," he glanced at you for a second out the corner of his eye, before scooping another spoonful of cereal into his mouth. "so don't run away on my account."

"i wasn't running away," you clarified, trying to snap back but honestly you were too tired so it came across a little more pathetic than you'd intended. "i... thought i forgot something but then i realised i... didn't."

"sure," he mumbled in between scoops, rolling his eyes. "just eat your breakfast, training starts in 10. don't be late again."

"you don't have to instruct me, i'm capable of keeping my own schedule," you were just arguing for the sake of it at this point. you didn't really care about any of it. you had to numb yourself to your surroundings and that included the people constantly in your vicinity that hated your guts. the avengers hating you had become the least of your concerns in the last week. you were too busy trying to function as normal when you felt so far from it.

"10 minutes, y/l/n," he repeated, placing his empty bowl into the sink and walking out of the kitchen.

you shook your head, trudging into the kitchen to make yourself something quick to eat when you were startled by the sound of another voice. "you should get some coffee in your system, you look tired," you'd recognise that voice anywhere, anyone would.

"be careful, you almost sound concerned for my welfare, tony," you regained your composure, ignoring his suggestion and making yourself a round of toast. "did pepper tell you to speak to me or something?"

"don't speak to me about pepper," he was short with you. nothing new. "it was an observation, we need you on top form if you're to be beneficial to us at all. so, take some sleeping tablets, go to your mandated therapy sessions and drink your coffee like the rest of us."

"so fucking dramatic," you rolled your eyes, taking a bite of your toast, speaking without swallowing first. "i'm fine. not that it's any of your business."

he gave you a look, like he knew something, and for a second you thought that maybe he did know something. had bucky told him about the other night? about the mission? you hadn't said much, but you thought that was between the two of you. bucky was supposed to be keeping an eye on you, did that mean he also had to report back to tony about you?

no, he wouldn't, would he? you didn't completely trust him, but you thought there was some kind of mutual understanding. a complicated mutual understanding.

"just show up and don't fuck up, ok?" he raised an eyebrow at you before turning to leave the room. what was up with everyone today?

"you know, coffee doesn't solve all your problems, you fuckin' boomer," you mumbled that last part, scoffing as he walked away.

you ate the rest of your breakfast in relative peace before heading to the training rooms, on time.

there were a few people missing, leaving only you, tony, steve, wanda, and natasha. bucky was nowhere to be seen, you couldn't figure out if that was a good or bad thing. he was usually your sparring partner, you hadn't trained with anyone else since you'd been here.

you wandered around, getting yourself situated and stretched out when steve walked over to. you glanced over your shoulder at him while stretching out your arms.

"you're with natasha today," your arms dropped to your side when he spoke. you opened your mouth to protest but he had anticipated your reaction and held up his hand to stop you. "bucky's out of action— natasha is subbing in for him. they have a similar technique, and i want you to continue the repetition of your usual training sessions."

"out of action?" you couldn't catch yourself before you said it aloud, your eyebrows furrowing for a split second. bucky always showed up. he was always here. you thought it must be something serious to keep him, bucky was a stickler for routine and repetition, he hadn't not shown up before. something you'd picked up on unconsciously by being around him. "what does that mean?"

"it means out of action," he repeated, he looked you up and down, noticing the expression that flashed across your face for a split second before you hid it. steve liked to think he was good at reading people, but he struggled with you. he thought he'd known you better than anyone way back when, but you proved him to be wrong. and now, now he didn't even recognise you, never mind knowing you. your expression could've meant everything or nothing. "he'll be back in tomorrow."

you avoided steve's eyes that were piercing into you, he was trying to get a read on you. you immediately put your guard back up, not even realising till now that you'd let it slip. "a break from mr routine, what a treat," your lip curled into a weak smirk but it quickly disappeared when natasha joined the two of you on the mat. "never mind, this is worse."

nat didn't say anything, she hardly looked at you, her eyes on steve. her eyes were always on steve though so that was nothing new.

"work on your hand to hand combat, both of you," steve said, eyes lingering on you before a second before turning to natasha. "stick to the training sets that bucky's been running with you, y/l/n."

"don't you think we should switch it up a bit? bucky's not even here to—"

"stick to the set, romanof."

you'd never really heard steve be stern with anyone other than you before, his eyes lingered on natasha who was glaring at him unmercifully. "sure thing, cap'n," she rolled her eyes before briefly looking over at you, unable to hold your eyes for long. "c'mon then, y/l/n. sooner we start, sooner we finish."

"you sweet talk all your partners like that, nat?" you cocked an eyebrow, watching how hard she was trying to avoid meeting your eyes. you let out a scoff.

"shut up and start," she mumbled quickly before taking a swing at you.

you pulled back just in time, her fist ghosting past your jaw. "jeez, alright, lets go then."

you sparred back and forth for what felt like forever, neither of you getting anywhere. your fighting patterns were too alike, you had been trained the same way after all. so you knew every punch and swing she was going to throw and she knew yours. it was exhausting.

you were a little slower to react than usual purely based on your lack of sleep, but you still managed to keep up with natasha, practising like you would normally with bucky. you thought about what was keeping bucky out of action, he never mentioned anything and as far as you knew he didn't have any missions lined up just yet.

you'd have to remember to bug him about it next time you see him in order to curb your curiosity.

you felt steves eyes on you as you continued to fight, mindlessly you swung in all the right places, ducked when it was natasha's turn to fight back. it was nothing you hadn't practiced a hundred times.

"keep your mind sharp, y/n," steve hollered at you from across the room where he'd been watching your every move. "you're lagging."

"i'm keeping up just fine," you snapped back, not appreciating him calling you out in front of everyone when you were doing the exercises he'd instructed you to do exactly like he'd asked. "keep an eye on romanoff why don't you— we all know you prefer to keep your eyes on her—"

"y/l/n," he raised his voice sternly. "shut up and concentrate."

you rolled your eyes as you swung at natasha's head and she caught your wrist like she was supposed to. "maybe if i didn't have you nagging me i could concentrate better—"

natasha caught your fist in her hand, pushing you backwards, throwing your fist back at you. you huffed, jabbing at her as she slapped your hands away every time. "i don't want to hear your excuses, y/l/n."

you were caught off guard for a second, your attention turning to steve who was oblivious to the words that held so much weight to you. in a second you were transported back to that night, you felt it all.

that was until natasha's foot smacked into your face, silencing all the noise and knocking you with a spin straight onto your ass. 

"nat," you just about heard steve scold her over the ringing in your ears. "i said hands."

"she was getting too comfortable," she defended, not even concerned. "you said it yourself, i just did something about it."

you held your hand to the side of your face where it was beginning to throb. "you're such a bitch, romanoff," you gritted through your teeth.

she looked down at you for a second before rolling her eyes and looking back over at steve. "you're too soft."

"take five, romanoff."

you pushed steves hand away when he tried to help you up, instead pushing yourself up onto your feet yourself.

"i suggest you take a break too, get some ice on that," steve was trying to be civil, he could see your cheek burning up already.

"i'm done for today," you said in hurry, permanent frown now stuck on your face. "fuck this and fuck you both."

-

it was later that day, you hadn't seen or heard from anyone, not even bucky. you had showered and proceeded to sit in your towel on your bed and stare at the wall for what felt like hours until you finally were able to pull yourself out of your trance and change. truthfully, you had no idea how much time had passed, you were in and out of your head since your training session with nat earlier, you were finding it harder and harder to distinguish between what was real and what was a memory. being in this place, being around these people dredged up memories you'd suffocated and buried for years. you weren't sure how much longer you could keep up the act and go along with all of this.

there was a knock at your door, your eyes refocusing as the noise pulled you back to your room, your hands laying on your thighs, nails dug into your bare skin. your head turned to the door but it didn't open, it wasn't bucky, he would've let himself in. nobody else ever knocked at your door. 

you dragged yourself over and snapped at the handle, pulling the door open to reveal steve on the other side.

you eyed him up and down, "i told you i was done for today."

he was fixated on something, you didn't know what it was, but having spoken you seemed to snap him out of it. he cleared his throat. "that's not your call to make. i need you on a mission tonight, no fuss or mess," he stiffened, his shoulders straightening and his eyes glued to your forehead, he wouldn't look you in the eyes. you were a machine to him at this point, to all of them, not human, not capable or useful unless you were in the field. "it's you, nat and me, and we gotta go now."

"i don't think that's a good id--"

"i don't care how you feel about either of us, leave your shit at the door and do what you're here to do. i need you suited up in ten," your hollow eyes stared up at his but he didn't meet them, he turned and walked away, calling over his shoulder, "don't be late."

you were suited and down in the hanger in ten minutes, head pounding when the mission brief was read aloud to the three of you.

-

you were supposed to be in and out. 

your eyes were empty, you stared ahead, the thudding noise of the helicopter muffled in your ears as you sat across from nat and steve. you stared at their feet, eyelids heavy, you needed to land and get out of this metal box and away from them as quickly as possible. you couldn't take another lecture, you couldn't hear how you'd fucked up again. 

neither of them had looked at you since you narrowly escaped the mission you'd been sent on hours ago. nat was being tended to by the medics on the aircraft, you had slapped anyone away that had dared to come near you to clean you up. you needed to get out, you needed to get away from them now and yet you dreaded what was to come when you landed. there had already been a debrief on the failed mission passed along to the team back at the compound, so they could do damage control and prepare for the return of you three.

your body rocked as the aircraft came to land, the hanger doors began to open and you unbuckled and got to your feet. you were so dissociated at this point you could hardly feel any of the pain, just a throbbing all throughout, but that didn't mean you didn't know that it was bad. you felt your leg lose out under you, a medic came to assist you but you swatted them away and dragged yourself out of the helicopter with a slight limp.

your ears rang, you could hear their muffled voices talking to each other, nat and steve had marched on ahead of you not even looking back. you just walked straight, eyes unfocused and unclear, you were in a daze, unable to come back around. you just needed to get away from everyone, that was all you could think when two hands grabbed either side of you and physically halted you in your stride. the cool metal touching your burning skin pulled you out of your head, you eyes refocusing on him now standing in front of you.

you studied his face, eyebrows knitted together tight, his stoic blue eyes darted around your face and further down your body where your clothes were torn, and blood soaking the fabric in places. you were relieved to see a familiar face and soft eyes after being glared at and scalded for the past twenty-four hours.

"woah-- woah-- what happened to you?" you had a gash above your eye, bleeding still because you hadn't let anyone touch you or clean you up on the flight. your eyes still glossed over and slightly unfocused, but you felt yourself soften and ease up at the sound of his voice. behind him out the corner of your eye you watched the rest of the group angrily marching off in front of you.

"don't," you mumbled, barely audible. you were beginning to come out of your daze, he was pulling you out. you were starting to feel the full extent of your injuries. everything hurt, sharp shooting pains in your shoulder, your ankle weakening on you as you continued to walk.

bucky was looking you up and down, more concern as he watched you in real time start to feel your injuries and come back to your surroundings. he glanced ahead at the team who didn't even look back at you, his eyebrows furrowed tighter, confused. 

"c'mon," he held his arm open to you, offering himself up as a crutch for you to use until he could get you to a medic room. you glanced at him for a second, your head pounding, looking on at the team again who'd carried on without so much of a glance, and then back at bucky who had stopped with you, his arm still hanging open. "c'mon, i can help clean you up."

"you don't have to do that," your voice was low, embarrassed even that he was once again seeing you at your lowest point.

"i know," he gestured with his hand for you to come over and, though reluctant, you let him hold you up as he took you to the nearest medic room.

"bucky," you mumbled quietly, unsure what you wanted to follow with.

you didn't often use his name, it caught him off guard a little but he covered it quickly, clearing his throat.

"i know, it's ok."

-

"careful," you hissed, tilting your head away from him when he applied too much pressure to the cut above your eye. "that hurts."

he took a deep breath, holding his hand away from your face, waiting until you gave him the ok to continue. you moved back towards him, a small frown on your face as he moved to carry on cleaning out the wound.

"do you want to tell me what happened yet?" his eyes flickered down to your eyes for a split second. he wore a soft frown of his own, trying his best to keep his emotions in check.

"there's not much to tell," you mumbled, eyes now focused down on your lap, where your hands sat fidgeting.

"tell me anyway," he was trying to keep you occupied while he cleaned you up to keep you from pulling away again. he didn't want to keep you longer than he had to, he could tell you were tired. 

"i just lost my focus for a second, that's all," you shrugged, playing it down. bucky could tell there was more. "i'm human, it happens."

"like when you lost your focus in training?" he watched as you shifted with his eyes on you, redirecting his gaze when he realised you were becoming uncomfortable.

"you weren't even there," you mumbled. "you don't know what happened."

"you could tell me," he paused, letting his hands drop, falling opposite to where yours still sat in your lap. 

your eyes were cold, uncertain when you lifted them to meet with his, your eyebrows knitted softly together. "how am i supposed to trust you?"

bucky sighed, putting down the supplies he'd been using to clean out your wound.

you didn't know where you stood with him. he acted as if he cared about what happened to you but you couldn't figure out if that was genuine concern, or if it was a tactic to get you to open up because he had people to report back to about you.

repeating it to yourself in your head, it sounded ridiculous, you sounded paranoid, but you had every reason to be with this particular group of people. you knew this team well, inside and out, all the good and bad. except for bucky. you'd heard of him, you'd encountered him in your past lives but you didn't know him like you did the others. 

"not everyone has it out for you, you know," was his response. "i definitely don't."

"your job is to get me to trust you though—"

"my job is to make sure you don't go rogue," he cut you short, he shook his head. "you don't have to trust me— i get why you wouldn't want to. but i'm here and not just because i have to be."

your eyes flickered back and forth between his while he spoke, trying to absorb everything he was telling you and his meaning. you looked over at him a little bit softer than before, reminded that his history was just as grey as your own.

he let out a sigh when you didn't budge, straightening his back out and pulling his gaze away from you for a second. "alright, if i tell you a secret, will you tell me what happened?"

you rolled your eyes, out of habit you said, "a secret? how old are we—"

"y/n," he warned you to stop teasing and you did. you huffed, looking over at him sternly and nodding.

"fine," you spoke. "tell me."

he took a deep breath, exhaling through his nostrils. your eyes squinting ever so slightly, watching as he rubbed his palms against his thighs. "everyone walks on egg shells around me," he started. "they send me to therapy, give me a routine to stick to, only put me out on the safer, straightforward missions— they want me to be better," he spoke with a slight shake in his voice. "but they watch me, hover, waiting for me to slip up — it's a constant remind that everything's not normal— that i could lose it at any given moment."

you were hanging onto his every word, your eyes locked onto his which moved around the room as he spoke, your lips parted slightly. you wanted to say something, anything, but nothing seemed right.

"you don't don't do that," his eyes met yours when he said this and your breath caught in your throat slightly, catching you off guard. "you hold me accountable, you don't make excuses for any of the shit i've done."

"bucky—"

"you make me feel more human than i have in years," he cut you off, shaking his head when you tried to speak. "you don't treat me like a ticking time bomb— you don't hold back—" he exhaled, like he'd let a weight off his shoulders. "and even though you're a pain in my ass— i feel more myself around you than anyone else."

"interesting," you stretched the word out, your eyes glossed over as they wandered away from him in thought.

it'd been a while since someone had enjoyed you being around them. you'd spent the past decade or so on your own, you had gotten used to it, but the past couple months you'd spent with bucky had been different. whenever he didn't show up, though it wasn't often or without good reason, you found yourself lost. you had been navigating everything here with him there every step of the way, whether you appreciated that he was there or not. subconsciously, you had grown used to having him two steps ahead or behind you. 

"don't let that go to your head, i also said you're annoying— and i meant it," he quickly cleared up, clearing his throat. "i also meant it when i said that it was a secret."

"ok, i promise i won't tell anyone you think i'm super annoying," you joked, the corner of your lip twitching upwards only for a second as you teased him. you swore you saw bucky's eyes flicker down to your lips. you narrowed your eyes at him but before you could say anything he'd beaten you to it.

"you're really funny," he rolled his eyes, before nudging his knee against yours. "it's your turn anyway. 'fess up."

you huffed, rolling your eyes. "it's really not as interesting as your little confession," he didn't respond, only waited patiently for you to carry on. his eyes didn't move from yours. he wasn't going to let you off. "ok i'll tell you but quit the staring competition, sarge."

he straightened his back, creating a bit of space between you two, his eyes wandering down to your fidgeting hands.

"i was paired with natasha, because you weren't available and someone had to watch me," you began to explain, he watched as you pulled at your fingers while you did. "you should probably keep in mind that since the nightmares got particularly bad i've been skipping my therapy sessions," he looked up at you disapprovingly, opening his mouth to protest but you cut him off. "i know, i don't need to hear it," you pleaded with him, he sighed. "anyway, i haven't been sleeping, at all, which you kinda know, i guess," you struggled to hold eye contact with him. "and i don't know-- i jumped the gun, ignored natasha's direct order to hold my position and as a direct result, tipped off the guards that we were supposed to take out discreetly, who then set off the alarms and disrupted the entire mission."

your head was hanging low at this point, unable to meet his eyes again. you ran your hand over your face, letting out a tired huff. "i got my ass handed to me, because i'm not on top form right now. tony tried to tell me and i didn't listen, steve told me to get my shit together and i didn't listen, nat tried to keep me in check and i didn't listen."

"if natasha hadn't been so quick to act, i'd probably look a lot worse than i do," you sighed, your forefinger and thumb trying to unknit the crease between your brows. "they're all super pissed at me. pretty sure tony is ready to give up on this whole thing, and maybe that's not the worst idea."

"tony's not going to give up on you," was the first thing bucky said. 

you shook your head. "he's done it before, he'll do it again."

"trust me," bucky shook his head, his hand moving to sit on your knee, giving it a squeeze. "it happens, for one reason or another, missions never go exactly the way we plan them to. tony knows that better than anyone."

"we're supposed to be better than this."

"you know better than anyone that we're not."

you chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying to keep yourself in check. "i'm just tired," you mumbled. "really fucking tired of all of this."

you felt your throat tighten, immediately dropping your head when you felt your eyes grow wet. bucky's hand moved from it's place on your knee, grabbing onto your fidgeting hands and giving them a squeeze. your eyebrows knitted upwards at the contact and before you could restrain yourself, you had closed the gap between you, desperately wrapping both your arms around him. you tucked your head into his shoulder, letting out a sigh of relief when you felt him wrap his arms around your torso and squeeze just enough so that he didn't hurt you.

"i know," he breathed out, a little bit taken aback from you initiating the physical contact. "it's ok, we'll figure it out," you nodded slightly, sniffling, tucking your face further into his neck, your breath ghosting his skin. his breath hitched in his throat, goosebumps running up his arms. he gave you a squeeze before encouraging you to pull back. he was more confused than ever.

your eyes stung red, wet with tears but none had spilled, you used the back of your sleeve to wipe under your nose. your cheeks were flushed, blood beginning to trickle down again from the cut that bucky hadn't finished cleaning. his lips parted, unable to move his eyes away from your face and the state that you were in. he just wanted to make it stop. his eyes lost on you, he couldn't form a coherent thought, he just found his body involuntarily leaning closer to yours.

your eyes darted back and forth between his blue orbs, they were soft, full of concern and warmth. your eyebrows twitched together in a small, fleeting frown, you felt yourself pull back from his lean in. almost brought back to reality from the small movement you'd made, bucky faltered, his eyes refocused from where they had been glossy and locked in, he paused. he opened his mouth to apologise but before he could say anything your hands were either side of his face. you hesitated, the scuff of his stubble under your fingertips was new, it was rough but somehow a comforting reminder that he was real, he was in front of you and he wanted to kiss you.

you moved closer to his face, eyes now meeting directly in front of each other, noses inches apart, your chin tilting upwards to ghost your lips in front of his. "are you--?"

"it's ok," you barely got the words out before he closed the gap, his lips against yours. your hands travelled to the back of his neck, his moved to your waist. he was kissing you.

tag list: @caillouthebabywitch @alanis-altair @the-obelisk @seabass17 @bqnners @jihyunncho @inpraizeof @angelpirabbit @the-chocoholic-writer @cjand10 @paintlavillered @leviathanspain @luckyzipperscissorsbat @g1g1l

[thegimleafs]

Rose Quartz chapter 4 is now out!

I’ve included a snippet of the new chapter in this post. Thank you guys for the patience, this fic is my baby and i’m determined to finish it! Chapter 5 should be out by the end of the week! Enjoy <3 :D

Legolas turned and leaned back against the cupboard behind them. Gimli mirrored the action. He settled almost close enough for their shoulders to touch.

Legolas sighed, clearly trying to find the right words. “The delivery was a disaster. I should have known, it came so late. Of course something had gone wrong. The orchids were unsalvageable, but I stayed up all night trying to make something presentable. I failed.”

Gimli frowned. “No, Legolas. None of that was your fault. And you didn't even give up, you tried to make the best of what you had. Could your father not see that?”

Legolas gave a bitter, humourless laugh. They turned slightly, their eyes locking onto Gimli’s.

“My father sees only what he wants to see, and it feels like all he wants is for me to fail.”

Gimli didn't know what to say to that. Legolas’ eyes were too piercing, too full of emotion, too sad. Gimli never wanted to see that in their eyes ever again.

An idea struck Gimli, and abruptly he took Legolas’ hand, tugging them up and leading them through the shop aisle.

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain Part 26

Hello, and we have got to the end of the massive arc that culminated the last four chapters.

I also wrote this part before 24 and 25 because I couldn't figure out how to write Eddie having a hard time on tour, but the aftermath flowed from my fingers.

Also as a reminder this story is finished, I'm just posting on a regular schedule. This story is the longest fanfic I've ever written. Topping out at 58165 it's definitely longer than 50K fic I wrote for NaNoWriMo last year (Sandman, never finished or published.)

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24 Pt 25

****

“You’ve been sitting on that sofa for an entire week,” Wayne growled. “Steve has called three times, your bandmates at least a dozen times each. Hell, boy Miranda has been calling concerned. So want to tell me what’s fucking got you so twisted?”

“I was given a choice out there on the road,” Eddie said, twisting his rings around his fingers. “Stay in Indy and play small time gigs for the rest of my adult life or go to LA and get an album and the chance at super stardom.”

Wayne sat down next him. “Sounds like a big decision to make.”

Eddie leapt to his feet. “That’s the problem. That’s what makes me so angry how fucking easy the choice is.”

Wayne cocked his head to the side. “Sounds like you’ve got a lot on your plate again, boy. Start talking.”

Eddie started pacing back and forth. “As much as I loved playing for so many people, I didn’t like that I could only connect with a handful of them and not even the good kind.” He rubbed his chin angrily. “I didn’t like how tired we all were. It was set up, sound check, play, break down and move on to the next fucking town. And that wasn’t including all the parties, interviews, and all that other shit.”

“That does sound exhausting, Ed.”

“I didn’t like how easy it was for them to tell me to drop Gareth as drummer just because he had trouble adjusting to the increased volume. The price of fame they said. Like it was so simple to throw away almost two decades of friendship for the sake of adoring crowds and hearing our music on the radio.”

“Oh, darlin’,” Wayne said softly. “They didn’t...”

“Oh they absolutely did,” Eddie raged. “I didn’t like how they thought that because me and Steve’s relationship was new that I would be able to find someone better. Someone who liked metal, someone who would be down for the ride.”

Wayne furrowed his brow. “That doesn’t sound like good advice.”

Eddie grabbed his hair pulled at it frustration. “The last straw was when they offered to let their tattooist to finish my back tattoo, because while my artist was good, theirs was better.”

He stopped abruptly and turned to face Wayne. “I picked Steve to do my tattoo on my back because he was the only one I trusted to make it meaningful. To understand the symbolism of making something of yourself when everyone is rooting against you. I made the decision before I fell in love with him and now that we’re a couple– and for them to just dismiss him like that? It made me so angry.”

“So what’s the problem? What’s got you so twisted around the bend?”

Eddie took a deep breath and let it out slow. “I’m fucking furious because I always thought that when fame and fortune came knocking I would throw open that door and march right through it. But now? Given the choice? I’m slamming the door in its face and walking away.”

Hot tears ran down his face. “And I don’t know why.”

He dropped to his knees and began to sob.

Wayne stood up and put his arms around his nephew’s shoulders, gently pulling him to his chest.

“Did that band you were traveling with say that?” he whispered into Eddie’s curls. “Because if they did, I swear to god I will burn every record and CD you have of theirs. Don’t think I won’t. I’ll delete them off your phone too.”

Eddie chuckled weakly. “No, no. They were kind. It was everyone else we met. Agents, managers, roadies, groupies, the people around Metallica every day.”

Wayne nodded.

“I was just constantly bombarded with hateful messages and the constant running at one hundred percent...” he whimpered. “I don’t want to do it.”

“Have you told your band that?” Wayne asked.

Eddie shook his head. “I don’t dare to. I was the one that was gung ho about the touring and everything. How do I tell them I don’t want to leave the comfort of Indianapolis and home?”

“Kinda like that,” Jeff said from the doorway. His arms were crossed and he was leaning against the frame. Peaking around him was Miranda with a concerned look on her face.

Eddie scrambled to his feet and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I’ve been a brat.”

Jeff took three giant steps forward and hugged him fiercely. “You’re not being a brat. You’re scared and trying to figure it all out on your own, but you don’t have to, okay? We’ve all been worried sick about you. But Steve especially. I’ll call all the boys down for a chat and you call Steve, okay?”

Eddie nodded.

He dialed the number he knew by heart.

“Baby?” he asked, unsure of the reaction he was going to get. He deserved to be yelled at. Cursed at. Broken up with. He’d hurt Steve the most with this little temper tantrum he’d been having.

“Eds?” Steve breathed. “Sunshine, are you okay? Wayne said you hadn’t been eating well or sleeping much. Say the word and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

Eddie’s lip began to quiver and tears spilled out of his eyes. “I need you. More than anything.”

“I’m on my way,” Steve said fiercely.

Eddie looked over at Jeff.

“Tell Steve Brian will swing by and pick him up.”

Eddie nodded and relayed the message back to Steve.

“I’ll be at my apartment,” Steve said. “I’ll have Robin arrange my schedule, don’t you worry about thing, baby.”

“Mm��k.”

“I love you, Eds.”

Eddie closed his eyes and breathed in the warmth of that simple phrase. “Love you, too, pretty boy. Come quick.”

“I promise.”

*

Steve piled into Brian’s car. It was the newest, having bought it right before they got picked up by Metallica. He had finally saved up enough money to replace his beater.

Gareth and Gethin in the backseat. Gethin had come up to Indy to watch his twin’s apartment while he was gone and just ended up staying. He was currently looking for a job so that he could move in with Gareth full time.

At least that what they said on the trip down. The twins and Brian were intent on filling the air with talk and Steve let them. He let them fill him in on the tour and everything that had been going on since they’d left.

Steve couldn’t be for certain, but it sounded like that touring hadn’t been fun for anyone. Even after a week of rest, he could still make out the circles under their eyes and how hunched over they were with just sheer exhaustion.

A feeling Steve felt all too well.

Gethin was pressed against his twin’s side and was rubbing his neck soothingly.

Steve looked at Brian.

His face was set, hard and unflinching. He was going to make the drive to Hawkins as fast as he could and still avoid the cops.

Steve was grateful Brian was driving because he didn’t think he would have made the distinction to avoid breaking the law. He would have gunned it and flipped off any cop that tried to catch him.

After awhile, Steve was getting the oddest feeling that Brian was used to speeding down this stretch of highway because there were points where he would slow down for a few miles and then speed right back up.

Soon enough they were pulling up to Wayne’s trailer and piling out the car.

*

Eddie sat on the sofa with Jeff and Miranda on either side of him, just hugging him.

Wayne was busying himself in the kitchen, getting ready to feed the hoard that was about to descend on his home.

The door opened up and Brian, Gareth, and Gethin all stumbled through the entryway. Eddie was on his feet in an instant, Jeff and Miranda not far behind.

And then the trio at the door parted and there stood Steve. Looking just as tired and worn as Eddie felt.

“Stevie?” Eddie asked, taking a step toward him uncertainly.

Steve threw open his arms and Eddie ran straight into them. They wrapped their arms around each other and just sobbed.

“I’m here, Eds,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “I’m here. I love you so much.”

Eddie lifted his head and kissed him hard. “I love you, too. I regret leaving you behind, sweetheart. It nearly killed me. Every song I wrote was about you. About missing you. I don’t even want to leave you ever again, I can’t.”

The silence that followed that statement was deafening.

Steve led Eddie back over to couch and sat them both down. “Tell us everything, babe.”

And so Eddie did. He told them everything. Everything he had told Wayne, everything that had been weighing on his mind since they started touring. It all just came out in a flood.

They all listened patiently.

“Why didn’t you tell us you felt like that while we were on the road?” Gareth asked. “I knew what they were saying about me, but I also knew you guys wouldn’t drop me. If you had me about that I would have been able to reassure you that I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Eddie flushed with embarrassment. “I didn’t know how to bring it up, it was so vile, man.”

Jeff gave his hand a squeeze. “Well, I think that you did a bang up job telling us now and that’s what really matters.”

“Someone offered to ship me out to LA and record an album,” Eddie finally admitted. “Not the band, just me. I told him that I wouldn’t go without you guys and he laughed in my face. Told me to cut the dead weight and be a star.” He dragged his hands over his face.

“But there were other offers. Good ones. Ones that included the band, well most of it, anyway. Always under the proviso that Gareth be replaced either on tour or all together. They didn’t want to make any accommodations for him even though there is a drummer with one god damn arm!”

“So the options are,” Brian said, “stay in Indy doing what we’ve been doing, only better because of the money we got for doing this tour. Go to LA without Gareth. Go to LA with Gareth but only as a studio musician and take some person we don’t know on tour with us. Does that sound about right?”

Just then Gareth’s phone went off. He looked at it with a frown. It wasn’t a number recognized so he let it go to voicemail. He pulled it up after the notification popped up.

He listened to message with wide eyes. “Hey guys, I think we have another option.” And he played the message so everyone could hear.

“Hey, Mr Hughes,” the tinny voice said through the speaker. “This is Murray Bauman, I’m music producer, we spoke in Las Vegas. I think I have the perfect deal for you boys. You were telling me that touring was really hard on you and that if there was an option you wouldn’t do that. I know you weren’t speaking for all your band, but I could tell that they would do anything for you, all four of you being such good friends.

“So the reason for this call is that I own a small music company in Bloomington and boy do I have a deal for you all. You would make a record through us, we would sell and distribute the record, keeping a portion of the sales, of course. But you wouldn’t have to tour. You have a steady gig as I understand it. If your fans want to see you play, they’ll know where to find you.

“But give me a call, we’ll hash out the details. My phone number is 555-555-2080...” and then message beeped, signaling the end of the voicemail.

Eddie looked down at the phone and then back up at Gareth. “Oh.”

Gareth grinned. “We don’t even have to take his offer, but I vote we listen to it. Brian can bring Cecil.”

Brian nodded. “He’s only got a semester left of law school, but I’ll have him brush up on his contract law to be on the safe side.”

Jeff raised his hand. “All in favor of hearing Mr Bauman out raise your hand?”

Eddie, Brian, and Gareth’s hands shot up.

“Sounds good,” Jeff said. “You call him back and set it up and if it doesn’t work out we can vote again.”

Brian shook his head. “Nah. I think if it doesn’t work, we stick to Nightmare Holes. We took a swing at it and if it’s a miss then we tried. I thought I wanted the touring and everything that came with stardom, but like Eddie I learned I wanted the romanticized version of it. I’ll be happy playing in front of our friends for the rest of our lives.”

The rest of the band nodded.

Soon everyone getting up to go back to Indy, but Steve stayed behind, he would go back up with Eddie in the morning. They had things to discuss that went deeper then the band.

****

Part 27 Part 28 Epilogue

I told you I would fix it.

Also a little BTS, the reason in my head for why things went wrong on tour but immediately righted itself when Eddie and Steve met up again? Steve still has Eddie's lucky pick. ;)

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@bookworm0690 @chaosgremlinmunson @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @emly03 @aizawa-emma @yikes-a-bee @redfreckledwolf @thesuninyaface @bookbinderbitch @archermightbegay @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @hallucinatedjosten @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @bestwifehaver @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @oldwitcheshat @nightmareglitter @tinyplanet95 @novelnovella @jonesn4coffee @slowandsteddie @awkwardgravity1 @steaddie-on

[buckets-and-trees]

Hi and happy weekend! I was wondering if you would be willing to open your creative process a little. You are publishing a lot of incredible stories at an amazingly fast pace, and I am curious about how you are able to keep both the quality and the quantity at this level?

Would you be willing to share what a typical writing week looks for you, and if you tend to finish writing any longfics before you start publishing them? How/how much do you typically edit; do you have a workflow of several steps including outlining, a first draft, and edit rounds, or are you more "go with the flow" type writer?

Anyway, you're an incredibly talented writer and amazing!

Stella, it's been a hot five minutes since you sent me this ask, but I'm finally here to pounce on it now! The past few weeks have been on and off with my brain energy, and I've been working to keep to my twice-weekly posting schedule with my self-imposed Countdown to Chris-mas and keeping weekly updates for Red, White & True, and I know those aren't mandatory things, but... even a posting schedule actually goes into part of the method to my madness.

THANK YOU for the compliments! I do know I'm writing a lot this year - mostly since summer - and it's absolutely not always that way. Plus there are people who I feel like write way more than me/more quickly, and I just have to remind myself that that's them and I'm me, and even my own muse has come and gone. From 2005-2008, I wrote A LOT of fanfic, then from 2008-2012 I wrote a little bit of fic here and there. In 2013, I started working on an original story concept more diligently than I had before.

Then I wrote two fics between 2014-2016, and then nothing until 2021. I dabbled just a little bit in 21, and then in 2022 I realized I had really lost almost all my hobbies, so I went on a journey to reclaim hobbies in my life. That summer I decided to start writing just an hour each evening - and that it was okay if sometimes writing was "writing" (rereading what I'd been working on, researching elements for my ideas, adding to an outline, writing down bits of dialogue or storylines that I didn't have a purpose for yet but that I liked the idea of). That got the wheels going.

I don't adhere to strict every night writing anymore, but I do write most nights. I now find it a way to really unwind while also indulging in the energy you can get from creating something. I also write a lot on the weekends. I have very little social life right now. It's half something I've chosen, half friends moving/getting married/having kids/some differences in political beliefs and our lives just drifting.

Long fics... The only chaptered fic I wrote a lot of in advance was Chosen, and that was because I'd written the story up through the content of chapter 5 and say how high up I was in the word count and hadn't even gotten to the main action yet, so... I decided to break it up into chapters and start posting. Devour and Warm Shadows I knew would be series, but I didn't write chapters in advance, only had an outline, and those both took a year to finally complete. Most of my series started off with only one story or drabble, and then I got an idea to go back to with a couple or AU.

The inspo? It can come from anywhere. Songs, watching a show or movie and liking that genre, experiencing something in my own life that I think should go into a fic... Sometimes asks have inspired story ideas. I also really enjoy participating in challenges! Some of my friends and mutuals around here host writing events and those prompts can be motivating and/or inspiring. Sometimes a bit of riffing with @vonalyn, @stargazingfangirl18, @biteofcherry, @witchywithwhiskey, @navybrat817, @vesearlee...

And then my actual writing? Not super organized. Some people use software or apps specifically for writing, and I'm just mildly ghetto and use Word, a private Discord server, and Apple's Notes app. Word is for actual writing. On my private Discord server, I've got channels for each thing I'm working on, and that's typically where I dump inspo (photos, links, etc), and sometimes I'll write actual story bits there if I'm typing on my phone (because I don't love Word or Google Docs typing on my phone). Apple Notes is where I outline because I can bring it up across devices from my phone to my laptop to my work desktop, which makes it easy to just dump an idea into the outline so I don't lose it and then can go back to whatever I'm doing. Sometimes my outlines have quick records of dialogue that I work out in my head.

OH MY GOSH, THIS GOT/IS GETTING SO LONG, I'M SO SORRY!

Last is just working on a schedule now. In summer 2023, I relized that I had signed up for three challenges AND was part of a community with monthly writing events AND had a few friends hosting writing events, and I realized that if I wanted to have any chance of getting done all the stuff I wanted to do, I needed to map it out - especially due dates and where I could double or triple up on common themes/ideas. It totally revolutionized how productive I was that summer. I'd never been that prolific, and I didn't hit EVERY goal or deadline, but I hit so much more than I would have simply because I made a plan. I like lists, I liked the challenge of trying to make the deadlines, and because I liked the ideas that I had dreamed up to try and make it all happen, it was a huge amount of fun.

That died off in the fall, and more in the winter. Spring this year I realized I really wasn't writing as much (and I did move/was busy February/March), so going back into summer, I thought about that again. I didn't make the elaborate spreadsheet list like I had in summer 23, but I had Hot Bucky Summer to get me back into that groove, and then I decided to do my own Countdown to Chris-mas thing since I felt like I'd done SO MUCH for Hot Bucky Summer and wanted to pay attention to the CEvans characters. The spreadsheet scheduling specifically came out again because I wanted to try and balance out the characters and new fics versus sequels in the schedule of posting.

Having the list now has been helpful in keeping my writing going because instead of trying to think about what I want to write, I just look at what I thought I wanted to write, and then go to the notes I may or may not have, and then type away at the story. I give myself liberal permission to switch things up - Viking Steve wasn't on the list for Chris-mas when I made it in September, I got the idea/itch for him on a Thursday night, thought about him Friday and Saturday, started workig on him Saturday/Sunday and then I think finished him late Monday night? And so he bumped Tattoo Ari and Curtis back a week and one of my other Steve ides off the 12 weeks entirely.

Lastly, you asked about editing. I like the spelling and grammar help in Word. I do tend to do a lot of re-reading when I'm writing, because I'm typically writing a chunk of story each day, so I have to go back and review where I left off from. I've worked with a beta/editor or sometimes just asked for someone to read something to check that it's on track only a handful of times in this fandom era (in my 2005-08 time, I had three beta readers who ended up some of my best online friends, and they whipped me into writing shape). Part of it is that I want this to be my hobby. I don't want to take too much of it too seriously. But some stories I either have some doubts/know I need feedback OR feel like it's so important to me that I want another set of eyes on it to make sure it's living up to its full potential.

tl;dr I am half planned, half vibes. I have a schedule right now because I want to sty on target in somehow trying to write all the ideas in my head. Ideas can come from anywhere for me. I'm enjoying the ride right now, but I don't expect it to last indefinitely.

And, genuinely, I decided to just brain dump my chaos because hopefully anyone else writing or thinking about writing sees that there's NO ONE WAY to write, even for one author.

OMG SORRY AGAIN THIS GOT SO LONG - probably could use an editor scenario here, but ASKS ARE FOR FUNZIES!

THANK YOU AGAIN, STELLA, FOR ASKING/SORRY FOR THE ESSAY YOU DIDN'T ANTICIPATE RECEIVING IN RESPONSE!!!!

[clementineofmine]

For the ask game :)

Same Weird Family (the series): 1, 4, 5, & 9

Thanks, @assaily, for the ask! I'm going to answer this based on Same Weird Family, the first in the series because I haven't gotten to talk about that one yet. It's the first fic I wrote (that you know of, lol) so while I now find parts of it a bit rough, it'll always be near and dear to me as it came about due to a visceral need to word vomit about these characters.

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

I started this fic a few weeks after S2, and like many I was absolutely inspired by the absolute savagery and increasing desperation of Five in that season. From killing the board to rewinding time, Five did so much for his family that season and none of them knew about it. Plus, the season ended in a new timeline, so the "what's going to happen next?" opportunities were almost endless.

I was also deeply inspired by those who took a stab at post S2 before me, including but definitely not limited to NonLinear Theory for Dummies, The Walls Kept Tumbling Down, Creeping Towards Extinction, and Tangled in the Hanging Tree. If you haven't read these and you like my fic, you're going to love these. They are all angsty and excellent.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

I'm gonna call out Allison here, because while she didn't get a lot of focus in this fic, I think she deserves a chance to yell at her brothers more often.

“Well, if we can’t take him to the hospital-” Allison’s words returned them to the practical matters. She looked around as Diego and Luther both shook their heads at her as confirmation. Vanya looked torn but didn’t disagree. Klaus remained focused on Five. “-we’ll have to watch him. We’ll take shifts.” “Oh boy, Five’ll just love that,” Diego scoffed. “He’s unconscious. He’ll deal,” Allison pointed out, closing the discussion. She finished cleaning up Five’s injuries and straightened his clothes. “And if you guys are done with playing pissing contest,“ she gave a pointed look to both Diego and Luther, “you can help me get him upstairs to the bedroom."

5: What part was hardest to write?

Chapters 1-6 and part of 7 came at me fast and furious, but I floundered a bit trying to get through 7 and 8 to the end. I think the writing is a bit awkward and it does make me cringe a bit.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not alternate versions so much as I did a lot of rewriting (I'm a pantser; I try to let my characters speak and sometimes they surprise me)

If you'll permit me to tag onto your ask, I'd also like to answer 3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I spent a lot of time dissecting Five's internal emotions during this fic, trying to make sense of what drives Five - the anger and frustration and desperation that we saw on screen in S2, and beyond. I'm quite proud of some of it. Here's a snip:

“FIVE!” The shout cleaved him violently from his thoughts. Five blinked, confused, and looked up. His mind registered that his name had possibly been said more than once.  Oh, he remembered, almost absently. His siblings were pestering him.  Five sighed. All of the energy that had once fueled his rage was gone, drained away as quickly as it had spiraled up. Anger merely simmered now, rather than burned. He no longer felt dizzy, just…tired. In the clarity of hindsight, Five knew he hadn’t ever really been angry at his siblings. Annoyed, sure. Frustrated. But anger was reserved for the fact that Luther and Diego’s questions dragged things out of the little box, things that snagged and pulled at the cracks and exposed his weakness. For the memory of the light fading out of Klaus’s eyes, reaching for Five but still dead before he hit the ground. For the way that Vanya’s body crumpled like a discarded paper doll. Mostly, Five’s anger was directed at himself. For being played, and not figuring out the only possible end to the Handler’s deal until it was much too late. If he had been thinking clearly. If he only… Stop, Five. There’s no good destination down that road. “Five, we just want to help you” the soft voice said. He still didn’t care to pick out its owner. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t bear to keep listening. His siblings had died because of him. Again. And everything that happened afterwards – his survival, his thoughts, his actions – he could give them everything and still would never be enough to make it up to them. Never. 

fic ask game

[youredreamingofroo]

Long winded rant of me talking about NSB, doing a new series, storytelling and whatever else I talked about under the cut, feel free to read it's just me rambling, I don't really care if ppl read it or not it's VERY long 😭

I've been painfully itching to start a new series, I know I'm doing NSB rn, and I do plan to at least finish the normal NSB legacy (up to Gen 9), although I might finish or take a break at around Gen 5 or 6, just because I don't wanna lose motivation and also because it takes A LOT to make some of these posts (for example, the last NSB post... took a lot out of me), and I'm only on Gen 2, almost Gen 3 rn, and I was originally planning to do all 30 or 40 Gens in the updated ver of NSB, which def doesn't seem like it'll be happening right now, because at the current rate at which I post, and how fast things in my game move, Sims 6 will be out before I even finish Gen 30 😭😭

Anyways, I don't know what the series would be about, if I were to do a new series, it would definitely be a lot more story based, if not completely story based, I don't know if I'd do/include gameplay, but I really wanna dive into more storytelling and setting up scenes, I'm not a film or theatre kid by any means, and I really don't know much about writing and setting up scenes and stuff, to be honest, i don't even know how I storytell, I guess it's just regurgitated content molded to shape the statue of my story if that makes sense lmao, I guess it's also the art of using so many fucking metaphors and similes that doing something like comparing love to drowning in a cold ocean comes sorta easy to me? I'm not grammatically inclined and don't know a lot about punctuation, my teachers all kinda gave up on me in English class, so all of my writing is basically self taught, which I guess is the case for a lot of things I do- I feel like starting a new series would help me learn how to write better, even though it seems like a lot of ppl love my writing, I still feel like I could improve so much and do so much better. I already have a couple ideas in mind for a new series, I don't think I'll say much rn just in case I decide to make them a series, but as for right now, I've got plans for Gen 3 NSB (aka Calico), and if I were to start a new series, I would not stop playing NSB, but due to how I function and shit, I would have to put NSB on hiatus, I kind of have a hard time doing two stories at once, hence why Sharkie's story got put on hiatus, because it was too stressful for me to double up, especially with how often I post (at least 3 or 4 times a week), I would like to go back and play Sharkies story and share her story up to this point where I last played her, her story is a lot more gameplay centered (for example, I am more inclined to make a blender scene for NSB, then Sharkie, for Sharkie, I'd do stuff like go to the bar and see how it plays out and take screenshots and just edit those) which I like more, but that's not to say I don't enjoy NSB, because I equally LOVE storytelling as I do gameplay.

While writing this, I did think of something I could do, which would be posting NSB every other week (so one week I do Sharkie or some other series and then the next week I do NSB, then a diff series, so on so forth), the only problem is that usually when I get an idea, and I finish that idea, I like to post it asap, I'm not good at scheduling posts lmao, but it might be worth it if people want to see another series (that is if anyone is still reading up to this point lol), I'd like to channel my storytelling into a more story based save/story, but idk! I'm just kinda doing my thing rn and I'm at a point where i wanna do something different. I especially wanna start doing more in blender, it just takes fucking forever to do some of the stuff I wanna do, and some of it means learning new stuff which is thrice as hard and takes thrice as long compared to normal posing and stuff 😭

[sweettjrose]

Detective Mickey Pilot P.4

Hey everyone. Hi... Hello... So it has been quite a while since the last part... Okay, so I ended up being extremely busy these past couple of weeks and really struggled to find time to finish writing. It doesn't help that this ended up being another really long part. I think the parts from here to now on will continue to be long. I'll try to get part 5 out next week, but no promises. I should still have 2 more parts left. Though I may add an epilogue. I'll have to decide once I write the final part.

I am so thankful for all of the support I've been getting. Part 3 got the best response which makes me so happy since it was my favorite part, but this part may be a close second. Tbh this is my first time writing "fanfiction" and I can already find myself improving. I wonder if maybe I should figure out what else to write after I finish this. But I'll discuss that late.

I will warn you that there are few somewhat tense situations in this part. For those who read the "Mickey Mouse Outwits the Phantom Blot" comic, you'll get an idea of what I may be talking about. But I did add my own twist to it. I will try my best to add triggers for it, but please let me know if I am missing something.

Now with all that out of the way...

Previous Part: X

Next Part: X

So Close. So. Close. He was about maybe 20 feet from his car until he felt the metallic muzzle at his neck. Instantly able to tell what it was. He slowly raised his hands and froze, doing his best to avoid sudden movements.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

A chill went up Mickey’s spine. That cold but velvety voice was all too familiar and Mickey knew he was in the presence of that cloaked nightmare once again. Memories of their previous encounter flickered in Mickey’s mind, including those eyes. Those frightening white eyes. Mickey quietly took a breath, finally able go calm himself down. He better respond soon. Thankfully though, with help from Horace, he had a backup plan for this exact situation. In his best old-person voice Mickey tried to tell the threatening man behind him that he thought that this was his house and that he made a mistake and would be heading home. He hoped that the shadowy figure would buy that he was just a senile old man and not find value in dealing with him. But that hope shattered when he heard his cruel horrid laughter snake into his ears, growing and growing each second. The Blot paused his laughter every couple of seconds asking the mouse if he thought he was stupid enough to buy his little disguise. He is literally the master of disguise and yet this amateur journalist thought he could outwit him with a fake beard and a hat. Mickey blushed, feeling silly that he thought this would work. Getting the sense that the mouse was feeling embarrassed the Blot faked trying to console him by saying to not feel too bad as he thought that the little costume was “adorable” and if there was a next time he could see the mouse able to pull a more convincing look. Unfortunately, there wasn’t going to be a next time.

The Phantom Blot sighed, adding that he was rather hurt that the mouse didn’t accept his very generous gift. He feigned hurt, going on about how he used up all the kindness in his heart to give this mouse a benevolent second chance, only to have it thrown back into his face. Oh Well. That’s what he gets for showing kindness to others. I guess he’ll have to heal his broken heart by torturing this little pathetic mouse. The Blot poked Mickey’s neck again with the gun, this time partially lifting the camera around Mickey’s neck with the barrel and then picking it up with his other hand, leaving the gun still touching Mickey's neck. He jokingly asks what it is and remarks that this doesn’t look like any of the missing cameras. Almost out of instinct, Mickey tells him to stop and pleads to give it back. Only to freeze again after the gun touches him again. The man laughs before noting that this must be the mouse’s personal camera and questions how he must be concerned about all the incriminating pictures…Or perhaps it is something a bit more intimate than that. Mickey then hears a thud and a loud crack that causes him to rapidly turn to the source of the noise… Did he… Before he has a chance to see, a swift hit to the head quickly knocks him out, leaving him once again vulnerable to whatever the Phantom Blot has planned for him.

Mickey's eyes instantly shot open and he tried to get up. Unfortunately, he found that a bit of a challenge as he noticed that his whole body seemed to be tied up with ropes. From what Mickey can gather he is tied to some kind of bench facing upwards. He tries his best to move any muscle or joint, but can’t even wiggle a finger. Frustrated Mickey looks up realizing that right above him is a giant sharp circular saw aimed right at his neck. He let out a large yelp before seeing a note that was attached to the blade of the saw...

“Hope you rested well little mouse,

Wish I could stay and watch this play out, but unfortunately I had other things to attend to. Do not worry, nothing bad should happen, lest any of our new friends decide to wake. I cannot seem to remember if I fed them or not. I advise you to avoid making too much noise. Nothing good will come of it. 

Your Dear Friend… ”

 The letter was signed with some splotches of ink. He looks around cautiously, noticing dozens of cats dozing on the floor. Thankfully they all seem to be in a deep sleep. But for how long? As Mickey tries to investigate the saw, he notices that it is attached to some kind of mechanical device. At the end of the device, there is a thin wire with a… Fish wrapped around the end? Mickey is confused by the fish until he remembers the sleepy and probably hungry cats over the floor. He puts together very quickly that if that fish is moved too much, that will most likely signal the device to turn on the saw and… Cut right through his neck. Crap. Mickey was unsure what kind of “torture” the Phantom Blot would put him in, but he wasn’t expecting this. This is a bit odd, but still extremely morbid. Bet this would make an interesting headline. Mouse gets his head cut off thanks to starving cats. What a way to die… Thankfully Mickey isn’t one to quickly give up. There is too much at stake. He survived the Phantom Blot before and he can do it again. Mickey stops to think a little and quickly realizes that the Phantom Blot has given Mickey a very powerful tool at the moment. Time. Ha, the Blot could have easily killed him while he was knocked out and yet he gave Mickey plenty of time to figure out how to-o… to-oh… A sudden tingle hits Mickey’s nose… Oh No. Mickey tries his best to hold in a sneeze but finds it near impossible until he is finally forced to let it out. Ah-Choo!

As the sound of the sneeze echoes around the room, about half of the cats perk up. Shoot. Shoot. Mickey feels another tingly sensation under his nose and instantly looks further up. He notices a pepper shaker dangling above him slowly dropping pepper flakes. Crap. He doesn’t even have time. The awakened cats start to wander around the room, getting a better look at their surroundings. A white long long-haired cat jumps on the table, gets near Mickey’s face, and starts to brush his nose with their tail causing him to sneeze more. Not. Helping. Mickey tries his best to shoo away the cats, not afraid of making noise anymore. But they don’t seem to care. A small black and white kitten tries to jump up to the fish and misses. However, now the other cats are aware of the fish. No. No. Mickey uses every ounce of energy he has to try to scare away the cats. Screaming and moving the bench enough to wobble side to side… Wait, wobble the bench. He can wobble the bench! He uses all of his strength to wobble the bench from side to side. Getting more powerful with each swing. Come on. Come on. A much larger orange-striped cat looks at the fish and gets in a position to make a jump. Crap. Come On. Hurry. Swing. Swing. The cat bends back. Hurry. Swing. Swing. And leaps instantly catching the fish in their claws causing the wire to go down as well and turning on the mechanical machine. Within a couple of seconds, the circular saw turns on and swings the powerful and sharp blade downwards right at Mickey. Making a loud buzzing sound as it cuts through something. But miraculously in that very last second, Mickey managed to swing hard enough to get the bench on its side facing away from the whirring saw. 

The saw instead cuts straight through the legs of the bench and stops right before it hits the floor. The noise and vibrations are enough to scare all of the cats causing them to rush around the room, avoiding the saw, looking for any exit. Mickey tries to move and finds that the rope tying him down was sliced through, allowing him to pull himself free. He stands up, rushes to the nearest door, opens it, and lets a flood of cats rush right out the door… He survived. He really survived. Mickey lets out a large breath, relieving the tension in his shoulders. He could feel tears start to build up in the corners of his eyes. Okay. Focus. Need to Get Out of Here. Mickey looks around, instantly recognizing that he is still in the mansion. At least the Phantom Blot didn’t take him too far.

He starts rushing out the door over to where he remembers parking his car, hoping it is still there. Little did he notice a small white and black kitten following him. On his way he spots some trash cans not too far from his path. One of the lids seems to be partially open, held up by something. He feels a strong urge to check it out. Might as well since it is on the way. As he opens the can, a small smile creeps onto his face. Little Korker V39 cameras. A whole bunch of them. They all seemed to be broken into, but quite a few of them don’t look too hard to fix. An idea pops into his mind as he starts taking out as many of the least broken cameras he can find and placing them in a convenient burlap sack that happens to be nearby. As he picks up the last camera he notices something colorful on the side of the trash can. It is probably the thing that was holding the lid up from before that dropped when he opened it. He decided to take a deeper look at the object and in an instant his heart breaks. 

Ol’ Reliable. In this mess he completely forgot about Ol’ Reliable, his faithful camera. He sees it currently lying in a pile of mud shattered beyond repair. He instantly remembered the thud and loud crack from his previous encounter with the Phantom Blot. He did this. Memories flood his mind of the time  he first bought it, Felicity helping him develop the photos, and all the care he put into repairing and cleaning it … It’s gone. It’s really gone. Mickey can’t help but feel a huge hole in his heart. That camera meant so much to him and it was destroyed by that evil man like it was nothing. Mickey then remembers that the camera also held photos of the evidence he found earlier. Not caring about the danger within, the mouse heads back into the mansion and retraces his steps to the secret door. He heads down and looks at the now empty circular room. Crap. Seems like the Phantom Blot cleaned out the place before he left. Mickey sighs. Now he really doesn’t have any evidence left. He somberly exits the mansion with a depressed expression on his face. Now what is he going to do?

As he heads back to his car a little black and white cat comes up to him and starts to meow. Almost as if he is asking Mickey if he is alright. Mickey smiles a bit, picks the kitten up, and starts petting him. As Mickey heads over to where his car might be, the cat meows again, almost as if he is asking what’s the matter. Mickey laughs and tells the cat that he is just going through a tough time, I mean he did almost die, and it seems like it will only get tougher. After a quick pause, the cat purrs and rubs his head on Mickey’s chest, seemingly trying to tell him that it will be alright. It will be alright. Mickey could feel his broken heart mend a bit as his new friend comforted him. He is really glad to not be alone right now. He miraculously still finds his car where he left it and starts placing the broken cameras, including his own, into the car. When he opens the door the kitten immediately jumps in and sits in one of the seats. Seems like his new friend wants to come with him. Hmmm… Minnie talked about wanting a cat. 

We cut to Mickey in his house as he carefully places Ol’ Reliable on the table and can’t help but feel hurt looking at the unfixable state it is in. He has experience fixing small dents and replacing missing pieces here and there. But it is completely crushed and Mickey is at a loss on whatever could be done to save it. Mickey sighs and starts to move over to a chair. Pluto notices and instantly lays his head on Mickey’s lap. Mickey smiles at him and thanks him for the support. The little black and white cat also tries to wobble over to his lap, causing Pluto to growl, which Mickey stops by reminding Pluto that he should be nice to their new friend and that he will only be here for a little while. Pluto begrudgingly ends the growling, deciding that it was best if he didn’t cause any trouble for Mickey at this moment. 

Mickey stops to think a bit. He has to continue this case. He can’t let the Phantom Blot get away with that weapon blueprint. He would never forgive himself if he did. But what can he do? Well before he was hoping to be able to have some evidence to show the police. I guess he could go back to the mansion and check for more clues. But what if the Phantom Blot is there. Mickey shuddered at the thought of seeing him again. It’s possible he hasn’t returned yet. Is it worth the risk though? He already cleaned out the secret room. It’s possible he could find nothing and waste his time. Maybe he doesn’t need clues. If he could just talk to O’Hara, he would know Mickey wouldn’t lie about this. But then again he did mention being really busy.  Mickey continued his internal debate, as Pluto raised his head once more to look at the annoying feline that invaded his home. Only to notice that the kitten is completely gone. The pooch perked up looking all over the room only to spot the mischievous cat playing with something on the table. After peering closer the hound realized the cat was messing with the now-broken item he knew Mickey loved a lot. He instantly got up and started barking at the cat. Trying to get it to leave the special item alone. This broke Mickey out of his deep thinking as he went to calm Pluto. The barking however still managed to spook the cat, as it attempted to run pushing the camera to the ground. After telling Pluto to halt, Mickey went over to the camera to pick it up and noticed that the canister holding the film had fallen out. The canister looked pretty beat up… But not as bad as he thought… He wonders… 

Mickey quickly heads over to the extra bedroom he has been using as a film studio. He pulls out the film in the dark room and sees that it was definitely damaged… But maybe…  He goes through each step of developing the film taking great care to be careful. Mickey follows each process perfectly, clearly the result of doing this hundreds of times. As he removes the film from its final rinse, he braces himself for the moment of truth. He looks through each photo carefully trying to see if any would be usable. Unfortunately, it seems that for most of them, it is as he expected. Too damaged from when the Phantom Blot crushed it… But then he looks at one photo. It actually is pretty clear compared to the others. And it is of the… Chemical. He got a good one of the green chemical he saw before. Hot Dog! That will surely be enough to convince the police. He hangs the film up to dry and carefully exits the room. Here he thought he lost everything, but it ended up being okay. As he thought that he looked at the young cat who was cuddled up next to Pluto in his dog bed. Mickey quietly laughed to himself, glad to see the two finally getting along. He looks at the time and realizes how early in the morning it is. He probably has a couple of hours before the station opens up and he can meet O’Hara there when he is more in a work mood. Well, this gives Mickey time to organize his findings to better explain what is going on. Also, he looks at the bag of broken cameras, this could also give him time to work on the plan he came up with before.

We see Mickey run into the police station carrying a laptop and a tote with a couple of items inside. He looks pretty disheveled and exhausted. It is debatable how much sleep he got last night, but he must press on. He rushes up to the unfazed secretary and tells her that he needs to speak to Chief O’Hara immediately, making sure to add a please this time. She bluntly tells him that O’Hara is too busy to see anyone today and that he will have to try another time. Mickey tries to emphasize that he has really really important news to share and that it’s an emergency. Only for the lady to roll her eyes and repeat what she said before verbatim. Frustrated Mickey then frantically asks if there is anyone he can talk to as he really needs to talk to someone now. As he said that, two dogs, a shorter one in a green suit and a larger one in cowboy boots, entered the main lobby from the front door. Mickey instantly recognizes them as the same dogs he bumped into when he came here earlier. The lady calls out to both of them, referring to the smaller dog as Detective Casey and the larger dog as Detective Brick. She tells them that someone is here to see them. Detective Casey mumbles under his breath as the mouse quickly scurries up to him. Mickey tells him that he has very important information to share and needs the help of the police immediately. Casey doesn’t seem to buy it and tells the mouse that they are very busy, only for the other detective to mention that they should hear him out given how freaked out Mickey looks. Casey grumbles and asks if they have to and Brick mentions that it wouldn’t hurt. He then tells the mouse to follow him and leads Mickey to an empty conference room with an annoyed Casey following closely behind. 

Mickey immediately starts setting up his laptop with the conference projector as the other two settle down into their seats. Once everything was all set up, Mickey started to go into an explanation about how Chief O’Hara sent him on a case about a missing camera so that he could write a story about it. Casey tries to question why a missing camera would be worth a story, only for Mickey to ignore him and continue his explanation. As Mickey went on, a police officer or some other staff would noticed the presentation and started to trickle into the room, giving Mickey more of an audience. He brings up how he thought it was a common thief, but then realized that this was all part of a large conspiracy. Mickey then shows the picture of Jimmy Korker, the article, and a somewhat fixed Little Korker camera. He then starts going into the details about the Little Korker V39 cameras and how a couple of shipments of them were used to smuggle a chemical to a foreign country, pointing to the photo of the chemical. Brick asks if Mickey knows what country it was being shipped to and Mickey mentions that he doesn’t know. Casey peers into the picture closer and asks if it is a glow stick. Mickey explains that it is not a glow stick, but is some kind of chemical. Another police officer asks what kind of chemical, and Mickey says he doesn’t know he just managed to get a picture of it. Another police officer blurts out that it sure looks like a glow stick only for Casey to add that he doesn’t know why he needs them to look for a glow stick, Mickey patiently replies that it wasn’t a glow stick and explains that it is an important chemical that is connected to some kind of weapon. There is a brief pause before another person pipes in asking what type of weapon.

Mickey discloses that he doesn’t know but knows that there are blueprints for it hidden in one of the cameras and they need to hurry and find this blueprint or else… Before he could finish, Casey stops him and tells him that it isn’t that he doesn’t believe him, though he clarifies that he doesn’t believe him, but that Mickey hasn’t really been able to substantiate any of his claims so far. These pictures don’t really tell him anything and he needs to see something a bit more… substantial. Brick asks Mickey if he could take them to where he took a picture of the chemical. Mickey says he could, but also regretfully adds that everything is gone. Casey shakes his head and points out that is the problem. Mickey has been telling them all these wild ideas and nothing he has seems to support his claims. The picture of the glow stick could be photoshopped for all he knows and Mickey doesn’t even know what this chemical or weapon is. Brick adds that while this seems very interesting, they don’t really have the resources or time to waste and if Mickey manages to find more evidence they may be more willing to check it out. As he says that the police officers start to talk amongst themselves, seeming to agree with the detectives, with a couple even walking out the door. Mickey frantically does his best to get everyone to stop leaving. Stop. Please. I know this seems far-fetched. But you have to believe me. Listen, I can show you the mansion. I have a plan I’ve been setting up. I need your help. I-I… Unfortunately, as the mouse looked around he realized he failed to convince anyone as more people started to pour out of the room. No. This can’t be happening. He needs them. They have to help him. “YOU HAVE TO HELP ME STOP THE PHANTOM BLOT!”

Everyone instantly stops, turning to the mouse. Someone repeats “The Phantom Blot?”. Mickey confirms, “Yes the Phantom Blot.” Mickey adds that he met the Phantom Blot face to face and that he is also looking for the blueprint for the weapon. If they don’t hurry and find the other cameras before he does, the Phantom Blot will... And with that, the room erupts into laughter. Between his chuckles, Brick asks Mickey if he is truly saying that he met the Phantom Blot. Mickey reconfirms and someone else pipes in asking if he met Negaduck as well, causing the room to go into another fit of laughter. Mickey gives a confused no and tries his best to plead with everyone that he is telling the truth. He really did meet the Blot. Twice actually. The Phantom Blot tried to kill him. There was a fish and a bunch of cats. Unfortunately, he continued to be drowned out by all the chortling from the crowd. Casey adds that he thought the mouse was looney before and now he knows for sure. Frustrated, Mickey glances around the crowd, seeing if he is reaching anyone. He looks out the conference window and spots Chief O’Hara walking by and talking with some kind of lioness in a fancy suit. O’Hara. He’ll believe him. Mickey starts speeding through the crowd trying to get to him. Only for the two detectives to stop laughing and charge after him, though they struggled to get through the giggling crowd, due to their larger size.

Mickey manages to reach O’Hara and shouts that he needs his help. O’Hara stops his discussion with the lioness and greets Mickey, though a bit caught off guard by the sudden outburst. He looks at Mickey noticing his exhausted appearance and asks if he is okay. Mickey quickly adds that he is and that they don’t have much time. He needs O’Hara’s help to catch the Phant-. That is when Brick and Casey finally catch up to Mickey and start grabbing onto him. Casey mentions that this mouse has been raving about a bunch of baloney wasting their time. Mickey tries to defend himself as Brick adds that he thinks that the mouse may be feeling a bit under the weather. Mickey tries his best to struggle out of their grasp to look straight at O’Hara and plead that he really needs to talk to him. O’Hara looks at him and spots the bags under his eyes. The other figure gives a cough at O’Hara, seeming to indicate that they should get back to their conversation. O’Hara apologizes to Mickey that unfortunately he is really busy and can’t talk now. He adds that Mickey looks tired and should take some time to relax and they can catch up another time. 

This seemed to be the breaking point for Mickey and he stopped struggling against the two detectives. Even O’Hara doesn’t believe him. O’Hara. The two detectives easily carry the mouse out to the lobby as another police officer brings over Mickey’s stuff which they hand back to him. They drop Mickey on the floor and Casey communicates that since Mickey seems like he has a positive relationship with the Chief, they’ll let him go. But they are way too busy to deal with pranksters like him and can’t waste time following some made-up nonsense. They have real crimes to work on, not some mumbo jumbo about the Phantom Blot. Mickey tries to protest, but he stops himself realizing it isn’t worth it at this point. Brick gives the mouse an empathetic look and tells him that he should probably head home. He asks if the mouse needs someone to drive him home and Mickey angrily responds with a no. He then tells Mickey to drive safe and to not worry about it, as it was all probably a bad dream, before he leaves the lobby closing the door behind him. Defeated, Mickey gathers his stuff and exits the building. That didn’t go well at all. He didn’t know why they didn’t believe him. Ugh… This is constantly happening to him. Every time he tries to talk about something important. Nobody ever trusts him. Everyone treats him like a child. Nobody takes what he says seriously. What did he ever do to be treated like this? He sighs, usually he would brush this off if it was just affecting him. But lives are at stake now. A lot of lives. Who can he turn to now?

As if nails to a chalkboard, Mickey could hear a very familiar and annoying snicker behind him. Not Him. Not Now. Mortimer clasps his hand on Mickey’s back. Mortimer adds his typical “Ha-Cha-Cha” and chuckles out that he can’t believe the fact that THE Mickey Theodore Mouse has finally cracked. I mean claiming he met the Phantom Blot. THE Phantom Blot. What a riot! He gloats that he can’t wait to tell everyone about this. Mickey angrily rebukes that he did meet the Phantom Blot and that lives are in danger. Mortimer continues to crack up and tells Mickey that he doesn’t know what has been going on with Mickey lately, but he needs to step up his game. He’s making Mortimer embarrassed to still call him a rival. Mickey could feel his insides boiling before unleashing an uncharacteristic rage at Mortimer. He shouts that he is not joking and doesn’t appreciate how everyone is treating him so badly. There is a big threat in Mouseton right now and no one seems to care. So unless Mortimer wants to help him, he better get out of his way. With that, Mickey shoves the other mouse away and stomps to his car. Mortimer stands there completely stunned. He has never in his entire life ever seen Mickey so angry, and he has known him since Kindergarten. Eventually, Mortimer gave a huff back. What’s his problem?

Mickey drove away in his car, not even knowing where to go. He just had to go. After taking a couple of random turns, Mickey could already feel himself calming down. Alright, now what. Since the police are a bust, Mickey could already feel himself running out of options. Mickey also is afraid to bring any more of his other friends in, as that could just be putting a target on their backs. He shuddered thinking about the odd contraption he was stuck in last night. He wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. Ugh, what can he do? He parks his car at a gas station and looks at his phone. He sees a message from Minnie pop up. Minnie. He opens the message. She’s asking if he has been doing okay. Even though it has been a couple of days since he last spoke to her, it feels like months. Mickey doesn’t really like to share his problems with anyone as he doesn’t want to be a bother. But with Minnie, he always felt like he could truly open up to her. She really felt like his second half. Maybe he should tell her. No. This situation is much different from his other problems. He wouldn’t even know how to tell her about the near-death situations he’s been in. He really doesn’t want to worry her. She’s been working hard running her boutique. She shouldn’t be worrying about her boyfriend’s life.

Mickey spots Horace’s name under Minnie's message and realizes he hasn’t checked in on Horace yet. Maybe he found something that could really give him an edge. He presses the call button and waits for Horace to answer. After a couple of rings, Horace cheerfully answers the phone and Mickey asks if he has found out anything else about the cameras. Horace is just about to respond when there is a loud crashing noise and a grunt and the phone call ends. Oh No. Mickey instantly turns on his car again and rushes over to Horace’s house as fast as he can. This can’t be happening. Please. How did he know to go after Horace? Was it because of the social media post? Did he see him at Horace’s house? He shouldn’t have brought Horace into this. This is all Mickey’s fault. Mickey prays that he isn’t too late as he haphazardly parks at the Apartment Complex and bolts his way to Horace's door. He promptly turns the handle only to find that it is unlocked. No. Please No. Mickey rushes in and calls for Horace, searching every crook and nanny for him. Landing in his bedroom. Mickey falls to his knees. How could he have let this happen? Now the Phantom Blot has gotten to his friends too. Horace could be some kind of weird death trap or even already dead and it is all his fault. Mickey’s phone rings and he quickly grabs it out of his pocket. It is from Horace. Mickey takes a deep breath and braces himself as he takes the call. Mickey then immediately tells the person on the other line that he doesn’t know what he did to Horace, but that he will not give up and will save him. 

Only for a very confused Horace to respond unsure of what is going on. Mickey could feel a large weight drop from his shoulders the moment he heard Horace’s voice. He’s okay. Or at least he thinks he is. Mickey asks Horace what is going on. Horace assures him that he is okay and that he had to leave town to help a friend with a plumbing emergency and when Mickey called, a pipe broke causing the whole house to fill with water. He’s a bit waterlogged, but mostly okay, and should be back tomorrow. This explanation causes Mickey to laugh a little, mostly to relieve the stress that is building up. Horace asks if Mickey is doing okay based on the weird introduction and Mickey responds that he is doing fine, he just noticed that the door was unlocked and was afraid something bad happened. Horace responds that the locks at the apartment aren’t that great. He really needs to find a new place to live. Mickey reminds him that he has the extra room at his house, and the horse responds that he’ll keep that in mind. Horace then asks if Mickey has any more updates about the missing cameras. Mickey tells him a brief explanation of what he learned about the cameras and that he found the cameras broken in a trash can. Horace then asks if Mickey saw the Phantom Blot again. Mickey paused for a second. Oh yeah. He told him about the Phantom Blot. Mickey then chose to lie, not well but good enough, about not seeing the Phantom Blot and adds that he actually thinks he may have just imagined him before. Horace doesn’t need to be too involved in this. He shouldn't have to worry over Mickey. Horace seems confused but a bit relieved over the call and congratulates Mickey for technically solving the mystery. He knew he could do anything he put his mind to, especially since Horace taught him everything he knew. Mickey laughs a bit, feeling much better, and thanks Horace. 

Quickly remembering the fright he had before, Mickey asks Horace if he wouldn’t mind staying out of town for a little bit longer. Horace inquires as to why and Mickey responds that he thinks the Horse deserves a break after helping him with the camera case. Horace gladly agrees, mentioning that he would never turn down an offer for a vacation. Besides, his friend has been showing him how to Bull Ride and he thinks it is his true passion. With that, the two say goodbye to each other and end the call. Horace is safe. What a relief. Mickey heads out of the room to leave, and he notices some black spots on the front door. He did not see those black spots before. It looks like… like… Mickey touches it. Ink. It’s Ink. A shiver ran through the mouse’s spine. Is he losing his mind? Why else would ink be on the door? Is this a warning? Maybe it was always there and he hadn’t noticed it. Maybe Horace just happened to spill it. But why would Horace have ink? Or at least not attempt to clean it up. Mickey breaks out of his wandering thoughts before opening the door to leave the apartment. He needs to focus on what he is going to do next. If the police aren’t going to help and he can’t risk any of his friends getting hurt, then Mickey will have to do it alone. He can’t stop now. Just as Horace says, he can do anything he puts his mind to. Mickey thought about what his next steps should be. He could try to see if he could find any more cameras left. Maybe if he gets the blueprint before the Phantom Blot does, he can destroy it and prevent him from ever using that weapon. 

Mickey gives a heavy sigh as that would be quite the task he would have to take, but what else could he do. Mickey spends the rest of the day going from pawn store to pawn store, going to any camera-related store he could find on the Waddle Maps, and even checking antique or any kind of odd store in hopes that maybe one of them may still have a Little Korker V39 left behind. Unfortunately, just as Mickey suspected, he couldn’t find a single one as they don’t have any in stock or they “mysteriously disappeared”. As Mickey left the last store he looked at the clock and realized how late it was getting and the chances of any more stores being open is probably minimal. Shoot. He was really hoping to get something, but it seems like this was a bust. Mickey feels at a complete loss of what else he could possibly do. I mean there was that one idea earlier. But he would be completely mad to try and do it alone. But what other choice did he have? He had to do it. He had to do the unthinkable. He had to capture the Phantom Blot. 

He decided to head home before he started as he should probably check on Pluto and his new cat friend and gather a couple of things. When pulled into his driveway, he quickly noticed that the lights happened to be on. He did not leave those on. As he went to the front door he picked up a rake that was lying in the grass and slowly crept through the door. Prepared to attack anything that might jump out at him. He peeked in the small window that was next to the door. He saw Minnie who appeared to be making something in his kitchen. He gave a large sigh. This isn’t a surprise. Minnie often would just come into his house whenever she wanted, as she had a key. Usually, she would surprise him with dinner. Though normally she would tell him first. He dropped the rake and opened the door. Minnie greeted him and mentioned how she was making spaghetti for dinner. Mickey tells Minnie that he wasn’t expecting her to come over and Minnie responds saying she sent several messages. Mickey checks his phone and sees that she is correct. He must have somehow ignored them in his search for the camera. Minnie adds that she also wanted to talk to Mickey about something. As she finishes stirring the sauce she goes up to Mickey only to notice the giant bags under his eyes and his general exhausted demeanor. 

She immediately questions whether Mickey is feeling alright. Mickey quickly blurts out that he is. He notices the little cat walking by and picks him up, handing him over to Minnie mentioning that he found her a cat, hoping he could change the subject. She thanks Mickey and places the cat down. Though continues to press on, aware of what he was trying to do. She asks Mickey again if he is truly okay. Mickey doesn’t respond and sits at the dining room table. She sighs and mentions that Mortimer messaged her earlier and said that he was at the police station making a fool of himself. Mickey rolls his eyes, of course Mortimer would tell Minnie that. He says that it is nothing to worry about and that he has it under his control. Minnie drops a plate of spaghetti in front of him with the noodles perfectly swirled, the sauce right in the middle, a couple leaves of basil on the side, and the meatballs in the sauce oriented to look like Mickey’s head. He smiled, she always did cute stuff like this for dinner. She sits down with her own plate. Minnie thinks for a bit and then asks how the camera heist was going. The last thing she heard was when Mickey told her about the successful meeting with O’Hara. Mickey looks down and plays with his food a bit, again not responding. Minnie assures Mickey that he can tell her anything and that she will support him no matter what. Mickey stares at his plate. He wants so badly to unload like he usually does, but this is way beyond what he usually struggles with. But he knows that if he doesn’t say something, Minnie will continue to try to get Mickey to talk to her until he does. She’s persistent. He normally loved that about her, but at the moment…

He decides to start slow by explaining how he thinks who knows who takes the cameras, causing Minnie to quickly congratulate Mickey. But then he explains how he realized that the cameras were part of something… A little bigger than he expected. Minnie tries to pry more into what he means, but Mickey doesn’t answer. He instead talks about how he tried to go to the police to get help, but they didn’t believe him. This seems to upset Minnie as she asks if he tried talking to O’Hara. Mickey looks down and mumbles that he is busy. Minnie pauses for a second and then complains about how she doesn’t know why the police wouldn’t help Mickey. Their job is to help people correct. Mickey sits there silently as Minnie continues to rant, bringing up that there is no reason for them to not give Mickey a chance. She looks at Mickey and notices an expression she isn’t really familiar with. She has known Mickey for almost her entire life and has become all too familiar with his quirks. But when she looked at him she saw something she hadn't really seen. He looks shaken to his core. He’s terrified. Really terrified. But of what. Something happened to him. Something changed him. He’s hiding something. She asks Mickey who the thief was. And Mickey freezes. After a second he says that it is not important. She gets up from her seat and heads over to Mickey again asking who the thief was. He tries to look away and instinctively says that he doesn’t want to worry her. It’s fine he got it. She goes over to grab his hands before noticing something on his wrist. There are red markings on his arms that she didn’t notice before. Is that… Rope Burn… She pleads to Mickey “Mickey… What happened”... Mickey pulls away his arms, realizing what she saw. He got up from his chair and crossed his arms. “Was it the Phantom Blot?”

Mickey turned around, extremely surprised that Minnie knew. Oh wait, she said Mortimer told her what happened. Darn that rat. She stared at him with a completely distraught look in her eyes. She expressed that she thought that Mortimer misheard Mickey, but now she can see… She freezes. She has no idea how to even respond. Mickey looks at her, unsure if he is happy that he finally has another person who believes him. Mickey adds that the Phantom Blot is trying to find something dangerous and he was hoping the police would help, but they didn’t believe him. But he can’t stop. The Phantom Blot is an evil man and if he found what he was looking for, thousands could die. He glances at Minnie to see how she is taking this. Unfortunately, she was unreadable and Mickey had no idea what she could be thinking. The both of them just stand there, until she finally speaks again. She slowly admits that she isn’t sure if Mickey should do this, being very careful with the words she says. Mickey asks why. She stutters that the Phantom Blot is really dangerous and a threat beyond anything they can handle. She doesn’t know if Mickey should be the one solving this. Mickey responds that he has to stop him. No one else can and there isn’t much time. Minnie starts to tear up. Mickey quickly comes up to her and starts holding her. Through her tears, she blubbers about what if Mickey gets caught. He could be killed. She could never see him again. She then erupted into a bawling fit, clinging onto Mickey. Mickey just stands there, rubbing her back. He thinks about the moment in the alleyway when he thought about the very same thing. He doesn’t have an answer. For a while, they just stand there holding each other as Minnie sobs. 

One thing about Mickey that Minnie has always loved is his compassion for others. He always seemed to do what would be best for everyone even at the cost of what would be best for him. Minnie always felt like she had to be the one to stand up for Mickey and make sure that his own needs and wants weren’t ignored. But she didn’t mind. She loved Mickey. She would always support Mickey. Or at least she thought she would. And yet now Mickey wanted to make the ultimate sacrifice and risk his life to protect others as usual. She can’t lie. She wanted so badly to beg him to drop this case and that someone else would take care of it. She felt bad since she knew how much this meant to Mickey and the possible lives lost. But she can’t lose him. Not now. They were each other's soulmates. But she knew that Mickey had to do this or he would regret it forever. She had to let him go. But she really didn’t want to. Eventually, Minnie gets out of the hug, gives Mickey a kiss on the cheek, and heads over to the front door, picking up the little kitten on the way back. She apologizes adding that she knows that she can’t stop Mickey. But she isn’t sure how she feels about the situation and needs time to think. She then pleads to Mickey that before he goes, he will go to sleep first. He looks tired and shouldn’t be doing this with little sleep. Mickey nods and promises her he will. And with that, she closes the door. Leaving Mickey. Alone. Part of him is glad that she didn’t try to stop him. But at the same time, he doesn’t know if he exactly got her support. He was unsure how she would respond and had a feeling she wouldn’t react well. Minnie wasn’t the only one who was scared. Mickey was scared too. But he has to see this through. He thought about the promise he just made. To get some sleep. He could at least keep that. He needed to be in top shape if he really wanted to stop the Phantom Blot. But he’ll have to wake up early so that he can get started on his new plan. He held on tightly to the red bow with white polka dots around his neck. Making one more promise in his heart:

I swear that I’ll come back to you Minnie. We will see each other again.

[myhicalintrovert]

The Sims 4 Adaptation of the 100 Baby Challenge Final Hope

Sims 4 100 Baby Challenge Final Hope (Originally Sims 3 100 Baby Challenge Final Hope by XSimSugar and Sims 3 Symbiote) I have updated this post to include recent traits added to the game.

*Trigger Warning Description of Fictional Illness*

Backstory of the Challenge: In the year 2020, a virus named “Bloody Frost” almost drove mankind to extinction. Bloody Frost took its victim swiftly commonly culling the victim within a week. Those with Bloody Frost appeared to have the skin color of someone who suffers from being dangerously cold, blood seeps into the lungs, and those inflicted with the disease had frequent coughs and often suffocated. By the time the Bloody Frost was finished only 6% of the world’s population remained. Those who survived Bloody Frost were immune to the virus. It took a short while for the leaders of the world (politicians, military commanders, rich people) to gather together and come up with a solution to repopulating the planet. The first thing the founders and leaders of Final Hope did was gather all remaining sims and evaluate them. Once the survivors were evaluated they were either sterilized and exiled or received treatment to increase fertility and put into compounds throughout the world. The ones sent to compounds are called Life Contractors; most of the Life Contractors were moved into cities and fewer were dispersed elsewhere. The women who were the most fertile and gave birth to the most healthy offspring were given precious prizes (almost always cash)

-The Challenge Rules-

Move the founder sim to a lot with no houses or apartments, this will start out similarly to legacy challenges. Keep in mind your founder will be able to build their own house after the birth of the first child. For every child born perfectly healthy, your sim will receive 25 simoleons. Every time a child ages up with the unlocked achievements your sim will receive 25 more simoleons a child. For infants, it would be gaining all of the infant achievements, toddlers gaining at least level three in all skills, and children + teens age up when they get an A in school. However, if a child does not pass the requirement to receive the simoleon the child never qualifies again.   I will list an online spinning wheel to decide if the child was born healthy or not (I do not know if the link will work if it does not please tell me). If you have the adeepindigo health mod or Lumpinou's pregnancy overhaul mod that affects the risks of the sim's pregnancy then it is not mandatory to use the wheel link.

https://wheeldecide.com/?c1=Baby%20is%20born%20perfect%20and%20healthy%20&c2=Baby%20is%20born%20healthy%20even%20with%20the%20rocky%20birth&c3=The%20Baby%20is%20fine%20and%20the%20birth%20was%20worrying%20for%20a%20bit&t=Sims%204%20100%20Baby%20Challenge%20Final%20Hope&time=5

Supernatural sims are allowed though the scientists may select them for testing and there may be consequences to the testing.

https://wheeldecide.com/?c1=The%20scientists%20found%20nothing%20wrong%20you%20keep%20the%20child&c2=The%20scientists%20found%20something%20wrong%20you%20do%20not%20keep%20the%20child%20%28it%20dies%29&c3=The%20scientists%20are%20suspicious%20and%20are%20keeping%20a%20closer%20eye%20on%20the%20family%20%28to%20determine%20if%20other%20children%20have%20an%20anomaly%29&c4=The%20scientists%20change%20something%20about%20the%20child%20%28I%20will%20leave%20that%20up%20to%20you%20to%20decide%20what%20they%20change%29&c5=The%20scientists%20want%20to%20keep%20an%20eye%20on%20the%20child%20and%20keep%20them%20for%20a%20few%20days%20for%20observation%20%28roll%20again%20after%20a%20couple%20days%29&t=Sims%204%20100%20Baby%20Challenge%20Final%20Hope%3A%20The%20Offspring%20Had%20an%20Anomaly%20Detected&time=5

If you have the University Pack, your sim is allowed to go as long as they have the money to go to university, live at home to have children, maintain the best grades, and are going for a degree that would be utilized at home. Think of it as Final Hope training sims for their roles. It is up to the Life Contractors to raise the children. Final Hope seeks the most healthy and perfect children with minimal or no undesirable traits. You must randomize the traits. Too many neutral traits and the sim would be undesirable, and one undesirable trait would classify the sim as undesirable according to Final Hope. This includes but does not limit deformities and genetic issues. Once the children reach young adulthood, Final Hope will process and sort them. If the children are deemed “undesirable” they must be “gotten rid of”, and the children deemed acceptable will have to be moved out like young adults in the normal 100 baby challenge. Other than the already listed rules, this will pretty much follow the traditional rules for the 100 baby challenge.

-List of Traits According to Final Hope-

Desirable 

Cheerful

Creative

Genius

Goofball

Romantic

Self-Assured

Dance Machine

Maker

Recycle Disciple

Foodie

Geek

Loves Outdoors

Active

Child of the Islands

Child of the Village

Neat

Overachiever

Perfectionist

Rancher

Animal Enthusiast

Bro

Family-Oriented

Generous

Good

Insider

Loyal

Non-Commital

Outgoing

Proper

Neutral

High Maintenance

Squeamish

Unflirty

Childish

Clumsy

Paranoid

Gloomy

Art Lover

Bookworm

Child of the Ocean

Freegan

Glutton

Green Fiend

Kleptomaniac

Lactose Intolerance

Materialistic

Slob

Vegetarian

Cat Lover

Dog Lover

Cringe

Horse Lover

Loner

Party Animal

Snob

Undesirable

Hot-Headed

Erratic

Ambitious

Adventurous

Lazy

Evil

Hates Children

Jealous

Mean

Nosy

Self-absorbed

Socially Awkward

If you have custom traits in your game, it will be up to you if they are desirable, neutral, or undesirable.

-Recommendations-

I do not recommend playing on a short lifespan. Mods are allowed as long as they do not speed up skill-gaining or violate the rules of this adaptation of the original challenge. MC Command Center and Wicked/Wonderful Whims would be good for this challenge. With Mc Command Center, you can go into the settings, and sims could have up to 6 babies at a time. Mods are really up to your discretion. I recommend playing with Growing Together, Parenthood, and Eco Lifestyle, though they are not required. 

Let me know if I need to rearrange the placement of some traits' placement.

[astranauticus]

post mortem for my orv animatic bc i have lots of thoughts and yall are gonna hear all of them (that is a threat)

first is the obligatory special thanks/plagiarism declaration section but a lot of the shots in this are inspired by the original changgwi lyric video which like. please watch it there's a reason this song is a classic animatic song on bilibili like the music is good but the video definitely helped. also speaking of bilibili, special shoutout to this arknights chongyue animatic that introduced me to the song that will haunt the next 8 months of my life!

the original inspiration was the thought that the verse of the spirit telling the story of its own death felt very yjh coded but it took like another week of stewing on it to have the idea of using the final chorus for the dkos arc which was the moment i decided i have to actually make this thing

going strictly by when i started putting pen to paper (pencil to ipad screen? whatever) this took almost exactly 5 months since i created the first drafts in february but the first 3 months ish from february until may were also my school semester so. most of the progress (id say about >60%) was done in the last two months of me working on this every moment i wasnt at work (or playing project sekai, for some reason)

also! funny little detail but counting the drafts and some discarded frames my procreate stack for this thing has exactly 49 artworks in it! neat little easter egg i guess (yeah 51 wouldve been more fitting but whatever)

this fully slipped by both me (at 2am) and my friend whom i sent the finished version to (fighting the flu) but in the final edit i didn't actually include the second half of the last lyric?? it's 'i will take you to the mountain god' i apparently just wrote 'i will take you' and never finished the rest LMAO

speaking of the lyrics i dont speak korean and im not a huge fan of most english translations of this song that exists so on multiple occasions i was so tempted to just use the chinese cover someone on bilibili did because then i'd at least be confident i know where the fucking line breaks were (there's one line at the end where im pretty sure i didn't edit on the line breaks correctly but that was more of an intentional compromise because the timings would've been off otherwise. anyway) tbh the only reason i didnt do that is the atmosphere and delivery of the original song is. really unbeatable like the cover's also pretty good but it doesn't quite achieve the same effect

also speaking of things i fucked up im aware i drew sys in the wrong outfit for the dkos fight but like. ok full disclosure my orv reference folder is a complete mess (theres like 400+ images in there. for some reason) so on net ive gotten character outfits wrong while working on this thing like at least 3 times bc id just grab a random webtoon screenshot from my folder and go w it. it's just that by the time i realised i fucked up i'd already finished drawing all of sys's frames and i was too lazy to go back and change all of them LMAO

anyway yeah some other random things i wanted to whinge about:

there's a lot of effects i wanted to do that didn't quite come across due to. lack of skill/time/patience/all of the above but the one im really annoyed about is the yhk postchorus bit with the 3 circles bc. first off i think i drew those while halfway dozing off on the train to school once because uh. yeah

anyway poor drawing aside id really wanted to recreate the sort of. drawn-in effect on the circles and lines that the original lyric video had but i could NOT for the life of me figure out a way to execute that in capcut so. here we are (also you cant put transitions on overlays in capcut so that's why those also looked so bad. youre welcome)

honestly my timeline for this in capcut looks pretty ridiculous bc if you want to do word by word animations/effects you need to pay for the pro version so my workaround was just to have like five thousand text layers with 1-2 words on it each (do not recommend btw)

speaking of the text im a moron so i kinda forgot to account for the text when drawing frames and wow you can tell. yeah next time im just hand writing the text fuck this

and i have some more thoughts that are. mild to moderate webtoon spoilers so past this will be the spoiler warning line

__________________________________________________________

actually my original plan was to upload this the day dkos dies in the webtoon but a. i genuinely did think it was gonna be yesterday like i dont pay for the early access episodes so i was just kinda going off orvtwt LMAO b. i could feel myself burning out on this like the last few frames i drew for this were fucking dogshit so i figured either i finish it soon or i wont finish it at all

i will probably still draw something for dkos' death day though for those who celebrate (basically when i was thumbnailing for one of the frames in this i ended up with one that didnt fit the video aspect ratio at all but still looks pretty good so im promoting it to a full drawing. so look forward to that)

like for an idea of how fucking sick of this shit i was by like. last week pretty much like for the last few frames of the dkos fight i straight up forgot to draw dkos' wings and had to add them in halfway through editing last night. like that's how fucking out of it i was by then lmaoo

looking back its actually kinda funny cuz the whole put this up when dkos dies thing was my plan since february but i had literally no way of knowing when that would be especially since the webtoon stopped going with the novel chapter numbers exactly (i could.. guesstimate but my original estimation was in june so yknow. real useful) but like i can find evidence of me panicking about that deadline since may. why did i do that

given that deadline i knew i cant really include stuff from the novel past the dkos arc but man. the amount of times i wanted to use something from later (ESPECIALLY 1863 arc). i actually have another idea i want to test out thats like full epilogue spoilers partially because working on this for so long made me realise i really want to make more epilogue content <- what

yknow how i mentioned discarded frames yeah i had to draw dkos' death 3 times because the first two compositions just never quite panned out. i mean the current one is also pretty unreadable with the colour scheme but trust me the previous ones were way worse christ alive

[shipcestuous]

The Fall of the House of Usher

Anon #1: I first read Poe's 'The Fall of the House of Usher' 15 years ago as a teen and I have been in love with it ever since. When I saw the promo stills and read the synopsis last month for the show that just came out, I was a bit weirded out by the modernized vibe in the stills, but seeing it called an 'anthology' and that it would explore multiple stories by Poe, I thought that we might just get the actually story of the House of Usher in one or two eps, just a bit quirky and... well, modernized. So I was still excited. It took me 5 min in the tag last week to realize they had completely screwed up the story. I didn't even doubt my assessment to go 'oh look, I was right after all' now that I've read on this blog that people who watched it were hugely disappointed.

I am still baffled that they could mess this up. It's literally one short story involving a mansion, the owner, his dead sister, the first-person POV guest, and the irrefutable incest in the owner and his not-so-dead-after-all sister's family tree. I'm sure someone served the owner and the guest dinner. I don't even remember their existence for them to be an important presence in the story. Seriously how can you screw this up?

Anon #2: When it comes to House of Usher, I’ve only seen the Vincent Price one. They don’t have the incest be canon (made in 60s and all), but it did seem to be implied. Also, wow, I didn’t realize how many adaptations there were of that story!

@leopard-skin-pillbox-hat-ok: I was watching House of Usher thinking about the future ship (Madeleine x Roderick) that I would be obsessive about it… imagine my surprise when there’s absolutely nothing there! 💀

@winterborn-muse: Netflix's "Fall of the House of Usher" may not be canon but in my opinion it's definitely shippable. Especially in their younger years/flashback scenes. One in particular... phew.

----

Previous discussion here.

I finished watching The Fall of the House Usher so I can finally answer these asks.

It's crazy how different it is from the original story. I almost wonder if Flanagan came up with the story and then added in the Poe elements later, maybe even after it was already written. I think it's only called "The Fall of the House of Usher" because that's such an awesome title and everyone knows it. And also because Hollywood is scared no one will watch something original. There was obviously no attempt made to adapt the story itself (or the other Poe stories), except superficially.

I didn't mean that to sound too negative, because although I am disappointed this wasn't what it might have been, I thought it was fairly entertaining and well written. It just wasn't what I was hoping for, and what I made the mistake of expecting. The premise of solid, I just wish it hadn't masqueraded as something else. Also, the "House of Usher" title just doesn't have the same power or vibe when Roderick and Madeline are really the first generation, and then there's Roderick's kids and 1 grandchild and that's all.

The Vincent Price version being coy about the incest is understandable. Why Mike Flanagan didn't take the opportunity to include incest here is baffling. I can only think that he didn't want anyone to accuse him of copying Game of Thrones. But even leaving the original story aside, in which incest was implied, look at the potential here: rich, decadent family with lots of siblings? Sibling matriarch and patriarch bonded by a traumatic childhood and murder?

Roderick and Madeline are definitely not canon at all in this version (if it can be called that?), but I completely agree that they were shippable. They were very close, life partners really, and seemed to love each other more than they loved anyone else.

I love the gift of the jewels that Roderick got for Madeline because it was so thoughtful and showed how well he knew her, on top of how expensive and difficult it was to get. He basically called her a goddess.

But the flashbacks were agreeably the best stuff. Obviously when Roderick and Madeline were sharing a bed:

Not that that's the craziest thing in the world after what they had just been through.

Then you've got Madeline not liking Roderick's wife, and Roderick's wife not liking Madeline.

I think they were also called "king and queen" once and Roderick is referred to as Gatsby and Madeline as Daisy.

Plus just the whole deal, the way Carla Gugino's character makes a deal with them together, and treats them as a single unit, and says they'll die together just like they came into the world together.

So at least there was some very shippy stuff.

But man oh man, the wasted opportunities here. smh

[ghostly-penumbra]

20 Qs for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag, @summerssixecho!

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

Thirty-six as of now! Most of them are still from events (I put all the filled prompts in one work per event, don’t @ me), but when I really like one of these I post it as a stand-alone :) and I have a few fics outside events too! Woo!

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

132,746 as of right now, but I’ll still finish Ectober so that’ll change quickly. (and as I said before, some fics I post "twice", in the event's work, and as a stand-alone)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Danny Phantom almost exclusively, the exception are the CrossOvers :p

I love The Sandman and Supernatural ones. I’m into DPxDC as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Seven Ways to Summon the Ghost King (1,187 kudos): Seven different ways in which a tired, stressed and sleep-deprived King of Ghosts can be summoned!

Results may vary.

Holiday Gift 2022 (439 kudos): ALL ghosts need to honour the truce. Including those who don't know they're considered part ghost.

Poison Blood and Weighted Crowns (408 kudos): The Justice League asked for help to the Ghost King.

The King demanded Jason Todd in exchange.

Jokingly, Robin accepted.

King Plasmius had the deal be honoured.

Ectober Week 2021 (365 kudos)

DannyMay 2021 (243 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments?

YUP. Sometimes I forget and only see it years later tho. But I do like answering comments so I try my best! If I don’t answer is ‘cause I can’t think of anything else to say but I still try! (I don’t really answer in FFN anymore tho, because I forget if I’ve already answered and I don’t remember how to check that, and I don’t want to accidentally answer twice lmao)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Uhh… not a big fan of angst, and even though I tried my hand at it in the past don’t remember where I put it anymore

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Dragon :') Danny gets dental! (lol ok, I can’t really tell, idk)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My fics ain’t popular enough to get hate I believe lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

LOL. I WROTE LEMON ONCE. YEARS AND YEARS AGO (almost ten year now. I was fourteen). After that, I haven’t, but I have an idea for a fic and if I actually get to write it I know it would be explicit.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

asdfghjjklñ I fucking love CrossOvers so much. I’ve written some "niche" ones but I believe the craziest/crackiest was Doors :))

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

None that I know of. (Again, not popular enough lol)

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Other than ramble with the discord buddies, nope I haven’t.

13. What's your all-time favourite ship?

None tbh, I do like some ships but I’m aro and I don’t really have an OTP.

14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Not much in the way of WIPs but I do have several plot bunnies I entertain before discarding.

On DPxDC I had a demon twin AU where Damian killed Danny as a kid with pressure from Ra’s al Ghul, and they met again after many years, with Damian as Robin and Danny as the Ghost King… and Danny didn’t forgive Damian. I had a lot planned and wanted to include a lot of worldbuilding, but ultimately I decided I couldn’t give Damian’s character justice as I was projecting heavily on my broken relationship with my abusive brother, and Damian deserved better than to be compared to my brother.

Also DPxDC, the aforementioned explicit work, which would be Danny/Valerie/Jason, with them dealing with being ecto-entities with the ecto-acts in place, Danny dealing with being King and trying to be an astronaut, Valerie coping with her feelings on her nature and her Wayne scholarship, and Jason being a crime lord with a family of vigilantes, and their broken yet existing relationships. As they navigated the complex ensuing dynamics, they dismantled the GIW and took down the Ecto-Acts.

I would also like to do more for Dragon, but I really don’t feel like it rn

16. What are your writing strengths?

Instrospection and mindscapes, if I can say so.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything that isn’t introspection and mindscapes.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Naruto :)

20. Favourite fic you've written?

aughdabdsufsda, I don’t really know, I love several of them for different reasons, but maybe Father and Sons? I love Clockwork and I love my Sandman crossovers, so I liked mixing both.

I’m not tagging anyone, but I encourage anyone to try! It was really fun!

[ratsoh-writes]

[Are you gonna kill him?]

"Of course I will. He knows too much"

Sea had dragged her cousin's unconscious body and had dumped it in a nearby dumpster. After that, the two sat on a rooftop, not too far from the dumpster.

[I mean. If that were my cousin I would have already killed him long ago. That guy's mind is creepy]

"Hah, you and almost all my family. He would be already dead if it wasn't for his mom- did you just... say that his mind is creepy?"

[Yeah?]

"You read his mind?"

[What? Like it's hard? He wasn't using anything to protect it when he was awake]

She was... speechless. Everyone knew, everyone thought that Oscar always put a shield around his mind, like any other flayer mage. But Maverick was saying that he wasn't?

"What did you-?"

"Nope. I'm not telling~"

Maverick had switched from telepathy to sound magic again. Sea remembered that she was supposed to put another shield on her mind again, and yet she let this monster talk to her through her mind. A mistake on her part.

"If you were looking for ANYTHING while talking to me..."

"Nope. Nothing of interest from you. I might randomly read people's minds without any shame but even I know when to stop. I'm not stupid"

"Well, at least you have a brain. And what were you doing here anyways, you don't even live near."

"Your gramps send me looking for you. And I just followed the mass destruction until I found you"

.

Sea returned to the apartment after telling Maverick, in a less hateful tone than usual, to fuck off. She didn't talk to Herald, and only put a bunch of groceries on the table for them.

She didn't go to the apartment for five weeks after that. But threatened Maverick into giving her any updates three days a week.

She still felt angry, true. But also felt... she didn't know what to name that other emotion. But she felt bad because of the things she said right before Oscar spoke.

Oh. And speaking about Oscar...

"YOU HAVEN'T FOUND HIM!?"

"No aunt Lilith."

"Ugh! You are USELESS! My poor baby is out there alone and none of you care!"

"Can I go now?"

Sea dodged a flower vase as she exited the room. Her aunt has been on a hysterical rampage since her son disappeared 5 weeks ago. And despite everyone's "best" efforts, nobody could find him.

What a shame.

.

She couldn't wait any longer. If she didn't act now, then it was going to be a matter of time before someone else, less impulsive, found out about her plans.

Sea had already finished planting the last "bomb". This was the hardest to plant because it included planting some of the Intel she got on Empress in one of the cults bases, and pin it on the uncle that was colluding with them. This was going to be the first warning shot.

.

Chaos ensued in the house. Everyone was working to cut ties with the fool that dared to share Intel about Empress' executioner with those crazy humans.

It took hours to cut all ties. Many calls, many resources, but it was done. And now, all there was to figure out was how the idiot got the information.

"Pfff... wow. You all looked like headless chickens"

Work sea!!! Also maverick is a crazy mf for real. And Oscar? Wonder how he does finally get found

[nessaprower2000]

Okay,i made AU of John Krisfalusi and Spümcø.

John K/Spümcø AU

When John created his studio,which was named Spümcø. In 1990 he released his pilot for Ren and Stimpy, which was called "Big House Blues". In the end, everyone liked the cartoon. And Krisfalusi began his full production with his team on a cartoon called "The Ren & Stimpy Show" . Of course, Nickelodeon, which did such a thing as "NickToons",he noticed this and decided that he should have a contract with Krisfalusi. And now the era of “The Ren & Stimpy Show” begins to develop in the Spümcø studio. After the first season, which was not touched at all by censorship. The team began creating the second season of this show, and it began. Some episodes were closed from Nickelodeon and from television, and some moments in the episodes were completely cut out, and the full episodes can be seen on DVD.

And there was one thing. In August 22 1992 John K released an episode, which called "Man's Best Friend",aired on Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon already wanted to fire John for cruelty and such things. But John said that he did it because the audience wanted it and in the end Nickelodeon spared him,giving him one last chance. And in the end, John and his team were not touched by the dismissal.

In 1992 John Krisfalusi once secretly created an episode of Ren and Stimpy called "My Poor Stimpy". And half the team and even Billy West himself took part in this. After finishing this episode,John and his half of the team were very excited with joy, especially John himself. This episode was watched by literally all viewers, children, teenagers and even adults. After the episode, Nickelodeon was very shocked, because in this episode there was cruelty, the theme of abuse and a severe beating. Therefore, Nickelodeon could not stand it and fired John Krisfalusi and literally the entire Spümcø team was fired from Nickelodeon,And the release of new episodes was entrusted to Bob Camp, and Ren and Stimpy themselves were voiced by Billy West. This is how the Games Animations era began. Well, of course, after this, John was not upset. And myself with half the team that didn’t go to Games Animations - remained. And they themselves watched episodes from Games Animations,and according to John himself said the fact is that seasons 3, 4 and 5 are a stupid waste of money.

And finally, this era of the 90s has passed, and the era of the 2000s has begun.

In 2002 Viacom I wanted an adult version of Ren and Stimpy to be broadcast on SpikeTV. And Krisfalusi, of course, agreed to this, and he started his own business. He was bringing his team back to make an adult version of Ren and Stimpy,which is called "Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon". John had everything under control. We wrote scripts, sketches, and so on. So far everything was fine, until Billy West got involved with John K. He didn’t want to participate in this because his career in this will hurt. John tried to persuade him but in response. Billy West broke him badly. He mentioned that because of the episode "My Poor Stimpy" the team was fired. Because of this, Nickelodeon had to check episodes and seasons 3,4 and 5. So that they can be shown normally on Nickelodeon. And Billy West himself almost lost his career because of this. And so, Billy West screamed at John:

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!! IF YOU WASN'T DOING THIS. THEN THERE WOULD BE NO TROUBLES!!!"

And Billy West finally said to him last words:

“And you know what... I don’t want anything to do with you anymore... Forget about the fact that we were friends... Your junk will be closed in 4 weeks, and everyone will hate you,Including me. So...You are now a monster for me, who ruined everything." And Billy West left.

John was shocked and devastated by his "buddy's" words. His team tried to reassure him that everything would be fine. But John barely calmed down, and everything was fine. Only he had to find a replacement actor Stimpy. And he found it, it was Eric Bauza.

And finally, in 2003, the cartoon Ren and Stimpy Adult Party Cartoon premiered on SpikeTV. Shown late at night. And after three episodes such as "Onward and Upward","Ren Seeks Help" and "Fire Dogs 2", the ratings were 3.6/10.

Since the audience reacted differently, either someone liked it or they didn’t. And because of this, SpikeTV allowed three more episodes to be released, such as "Naked Beach Frenzy", "Altruistis" and "Stimpy's Pregnant". And the rating for this was 5.8/10, which surprised John and his team. And because of this, they were very happy that people liked it.

And they released 3 more episodes such as "Life Sucks","The Big Switch","The Wilderness Adventure" and a film in which episodes of "Life Sucks", "Ren Seeks Help" and "The Big Switch".

And the rating was 6.2/10, so John was very pleased, and in honor of this he releases the second season of the adult version of Ren and Stimpy. And there were a little more episodes than in the first season.

And John’s life was good, he liked the adult version of Ren and Stimpy himself, saying that it was “An unexpected favorite cartoon for viewers". Currently the rating is 7.5/10,The show was truly loved by fans and viewers.

And now, John Krisfalusi and his team are living well. And they forgot about the bad things that had ever happened to them…

[claireelizabethsblog]

~May's Books Reviewed~

May saw some highs and lows in my enjoyment of books! I largely was still making my way through some old books I hadn't had the opportunity to read, but I also read a couple of newer ones. I was also on holiday for a week in May which meant that I had a couple of easier books thrown into the mix too. All in all, I've been enjoying my reading, especially as the weather has been nice and I'm able to read outside more!

Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li

(369 pages)

I actually started this book at the end of April, but I finished it at the start of May so in this post it goes! I really really enjoyed this book! I picked it up at the book shop because I have an unapologetic love for heist films, but had never actually read a proper heist book that I could think of. This fulfilled everything u wanted it to be as a heist book though. It was light and fun and a fairly easy read. It completely held my attention and remained believable (bizarrely!) while being compelling. It brought about the same feelings of investment and fun that I get while watching heist films and I would highly recommend it to people.

I gave this book 4.5 stars ⭐⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

The MouseTrap (70th anniversary edition) by Agatha Christie (arranged and introduced by Sophie Hannah)

(245 pages)

This is a bit of an odd one to include, however I saw the play (finally!) and absolutely loved it so felt I had to locate the book now that I was part of the secret! Obviously seeing it was indescribably better, however it is still a fun story and I enjoyed all the behind the scenes bits and history that this book went in to. I cannot recommend going to see the play enough and would in fact not recommend reading this until after you already know the story so that you can enjoy the plot twists and mystery in real time with the rest of the audience.

I gave this book 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗 (but as a play it was 5!)

The Book of Dust by Philip Pullman

(546 pages - this was a hardback)

I had owned this book for several years, having got it when it first came out with every intention of reading it, only to never get around to it! I loved the His Dark Materials trilogy when I was younger which is why I was really wanting to read another book from the same universe. That being said, while I enjoyed this book, it did not quite live up to the original trilogy (at least not in my memory). This was probably mostly due to a lack of nostalgia and attachment to the characters considering it is set like a prequel to the original books. The world and the writing remains incredible so I would highly recommend all Philip Pullman books, including this one to anyone who is perhaps a younger reader and wanting to get into a good fantasy world.

I gave this book 3.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy by John LeCarré

(367 pages)

So I read this primarily for its reputation as this incredible espionage book.... I have to admit, I do not get the hype. I honestly could not tell you anything that happened in this book, it kept my interest that little that I have already forgotten genuinely everything. I found that there were too many characters and the plot and language was long winded, meandering and unnecessarily complex. It's supposedly a classic, but unfortunately I'm still not sure what I even actually read. I therefore did not exactly enjoy it. It's definitely not the worst book I've ever read, but I doubt I'll find myself reaching for any more LeCarré.

I gave this book 2 stars ⭐️⭐️

The Help by Kathryn Stochett

(451 pages)

Very different from the other books that I rated this highly, but no less enjoyable. It took me a surprisingly long time to read for the number of pages it is, but this was in no correlation to the writing, which was simple and effective, but rather down to the content I think. The book deals with a lot of heavy themes around racism in particular, especially as it aims to by historically accurate and so it would have felt disrespectful almost to have read it much quicker. The writing and story were addictive and despite the heavy themes, I genuinely enjoyed reading this book and at no point felt weighed down by the responsibility of it. I would really recommend this book.

I gave this book 4.5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌗

Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty

(434 pages)

This was the start of my holiday reading and it was indeed a total "airport book", ironically enough about an airport book author! I did strangely enjoy this book and was definitely desperate to finish it and find out what was going on the whole time. Although, that being said, the ending was a little anticlimactic and sudden in my opinion which did drag the rating down a little. I would also say that there does need to be a bit of a content warning here for eating disorders and very casual references and descriptions of them at that. It is set at a wellness retreat so a lot of the characters internal monologue does end up focusing a fair amount on body image and dieting.

I gave this book 3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell

(461 pages)

The second of my holiday books! I mean.... it's been read before, and it holds up as being exactly what it says on the tin - a classic teen coming of age book that while horribly cringy at points is still generally enjoyable. I loved this book when I first read it (almost 10 years ago!!) and I still loved it this time through, even if it was no longer quite as relatable! I have not much else to say about this one other than I would recommend it, but know that this is not the highbrow literature but simply fun and light and easy.

I gave this book 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Icebreaker by R.L. Graziadei

(314 pages)

The last of my holiday reads. My kindle recommended this one to me based off other books I have read I suppose and I have to admit that unfortunately I was a little disappointed, especially by the end.it felt like it was just beginning to pick up and get interesting, only for all the resolutions etc to happen and feel kinda rushed and kinda unrealistically unsatisfactory. That being said, it was still a mindless holiday read and I really did enjoy the representation, both of multiple sexualities and relationship types; and more so perhaps of various mental health struggles.

I gave this book 3 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

(382 pages)

I really really enjoyed this book, was definitely a high to finish the month on! I found it highly engaging as I was so desperate to find out what had happened through out. The protagonist/speaker was incredibly unique and well written, with her trauma and experiences clearly affecting her thought patterns. This made it really interesting and cool to be reading from such a clearly unreliable narrators perspective, but also to watch with front row view as she herself slowly unpacks what has happened to her and come to terms with what other people see and how she could be living her life. The ending was perhaps a tiny bit too abrupt for my liking, but I really would recommend this book to people.

I gave this book 4 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️