#this one wouldnt have seen the light of day in full otherwise so ^_^ you saved it from the void

[pyrriax]

trick or treat?

as a treat, a little oneshot i remembered exists! though, i do warn it isn't canon in the slightest, and it fucks up pandora's actual views && intentions. so, take it with a pinch of salt ^_^ its a little something on the horror side of things along with the warped perspectives i love so much

Pandora feels like he's met God, standing atop the walls of this mechanical death trap. It lures him in, whispering promises of freedom and forgiveness for his nature, for who and what he is and has become. Monster, monster, monster, it whispers to him, words twisting in his mind and threatening to break all rationality completely.

There's something almost peaceful about the silence, as the divine beast rests in the middle of empty space. Horns and halo, wings and tail, a creation unlike any other. Its gaze amaranthine, silent in its observation of him. Practically beckoning him from his perch, as close to the not-quite sky as the invisible force it holds will allow.

"Come, come rest with me. Come sit, let the pain fade from your mind, dear monster. Join me." Its voice is soothing, gentle, warped.

Anachronistic as its presence is, the juxtaposition between a natural entity, something flesh and blood, and the deadly unfeeling of the stone and metal all around, it's comforting. Maybe, somewhere in the back of his mind, where he's hidden it away from sight, too unsightly to be even looked at any more than it has been, there's a part of him that craves this.

Be it finding God, or l'appel du vide, it's a comfort that disgusts him deep in his heart. Just like the fire that started it all, that brought him to this infinite hell that he'll never know freedom from.

Horns and halo, wings and tail, soil and blood, roots and ash. Night is here, and God is with it. Beckoning, and he lets go of that small thread of rationality. There's nothing to return to, home nothing more than naught, friendships long severed by his own foolish mistakes (though really, was the mistake his intention, or was it stemmed of the hatred and destruction of others?)

Welcomed by the only thing that remains, it's a gentle thing. Being held by something unfeeling, something that's beckoned him forth to join it in the space between reality and fiction. Horns and halo, wings and tail, a creature between angels, demons, and humanity itself. Between it all, something far greater than all that he's seen.

It hums a quiet tune, a familiar thing that distantly reminds him of his sister. He wonders for a small moment what her name was, and why she was so important. Because all he remembers really of her is that last moment, scorn and hatred on her face and words full of anger.

A quiet sound fills his ears, one beyond God's humming, and it's that of a metallic hiss, something clicking and chittering. Something that should scare him, though he can't quite remember why. Tik-tik, it almost whispers, like the ghost of a heartbeat. Tik-tik, tik-tik.

Oh, god, not God, not you, he can taste blood. He can hear his own heartbeat in his ears, feel the quiet pain in his chest and the ache in his leg. Breathing is difficult, Pandora realizes all too late.

God holds him with love, with the care he realizes he doesn't deserve as his chest feels tight, and he blinks away the haze at the edge of his vision.

Looking a hungry beast in the mouth, it's painted a beautiful shade of crimson. One of his own making.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, finally, something of My making that deserves such a thing. Beautiful. Perfect. They'll see, they'll know, My creation will remain.

He can smell iron, taste it where it sits heavy on his tongue, breathe it in with every gasp, even though his body rejects such a movement. Focusing so intently on this divine destroyer ahead, he's made silent peace with the white painted red of his canvas, as messy and perfect as the beast's destruction is.

And the haze returns, moonlight filtering through clouds as God holds him in its arms once more, lets him rest his head and allow the pain to fade.

Watching in silence as the beast devours, the stone infinity fades away into red oblivion and the echoing sound of fire's crackling and the divine's beating heart.

Infinity, infinity, infinity. Your infinity, My infinity, you've blessed me. Blessed me so, please, create me as I should be. Let me shed this exuvia and become the angel you seek. I won't doubt you again, God, I will never doubt you.

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

[angelsswirl]

Vellichor

The One With Shit and The Fan

A.N. Yall are about to be very mad at me, but it must be read.

~•~

Oh and I know

And you know that we've been here before

I think I know how it should end

We got an audience calling us crazy

You feel like a white suburban mom.

The ones that hoot and howl over every little thing in preparation for company.

You feel like that, because that's exactly what you're doing right now.

Hooting and howling over every little thing in preparation for company.

"If you move a pillow to sit on the couch, what do you do with the pillow when you're done sitting on the couch? YOU PUT THE PILLOW BACK! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS?!"

You had finally managed to convince Jisoo to agree to a civilized dinner with Taylor's parents. It involved a lot of placating and a lot of sex.

So naturally, you had to make sure the house was spic and span, because you wouldn't be caught dead in a filthy home.

Luckily, your children had pulled their own weight and helped, you were now just doing the finishing touches, like putting throw pillows in their proper place and screwing the cap on the milk jug tighter.

You also made sure to keep an eye on Jisoo just in case she decided to booby trap the place. At this point you wouldnt put it pass her.

Ryland came bouncing into the kitchen excitedly, "What did you make for dinner tonight, mommy? You got my text about the Bae-Park's dietary restrictions right?"

Despite being the second oldest, Ryland still called you 'mommy' occasionally. Especially, when she was excited or wanted something.

"Yes. Suzy and Jackson are allergic to peanuts and Taylor won't eat anything with a face. We'll see how long that lasts because you're a carnivore like your mom. And I passed it along to Lia because she cooked." You fussed around the kitchen. Dusting and swatting at imaginary dust.

"But what if mama convinced Lia to poison Chaeyoung?!"

You rolled your eyes. Did your daughter really think her mother would do something like that? Or better question. Did she really think you would let her mother do something like that?

"Jisoo has been here all day and I have her phone. I talked with Lia about everyone's needs and she made something suitable for everyone. Everything is going to be okay. Calm down, baby."

Ryland pouted, "How do you know if Chaeyoung has any restrictions? I didn't text you about her."

"We dated, remember?"

"No. I wasn't there."

"...Everything is going to be okay. Now, get out of my kitchen and set the dining room table. You might have to bring some more chairs in from the garage."

Ryland nodded.

~•~

Jisoo stared at her wife with a partially unreadable expression on her face.

She had been tricked into this. Bribed, if you will. Maybe even conned.

Sure, she was more or less fine with Taylor dating her daughter, but she wasn't really fine with spending more than an hour in a room with one of the only other people on the planet who knows what her wife looks like naked.

Great.

Her wife looks great naked. And Park Chaeyoung knew that.

She was doing her best to hide her blatant jealousy and anger but Jisoo wasn't an oscar winning actress for a reason.

"Are you getting all primped up for me or for her?" It sort of just slipped out. You had been putting on makeup for the past hour and Jisoo couldn't help but wonder.

You had never rolled your eyes harder in your life, "I'm not about to start this with you."

"You're avoiding the question."

"Because you should know the answer by now."

"For me?"

You put the finishing touches on your dark tinted red lip. Smacking them dramatically, then placing the tube of lipstick back onto the vanity.

You turned toward Jisoo with a smirk, "Oh no. For me."

Jisoo could only watch you walk out the door and into the main living area of the house.

Jisoo would try to keep the snarkiness to a minimum. If only because she's sure if she doesn't she'll never get to see your great nakedness again.

~•~

Dinner, to everyone's surprise, isn't that awkward. Probably due to the fact that Taylor easily dominated the conversation, you're a bit preoccupied with fussing over Kaleb, and Jisoo has had a full glass of red wine.

"Tay tay! How did your parents react to you telling them Ryland was your mate? Did they throw a tantrum like mama did?" Peyton asked, her mischievous smile poorly hidden behind her glass of lemonade.

Sometimes, you think Peyton forgets she still lives with you unlike her older siblings and can most definitely still be grounded. You had to resort to your signature glare, but it did the trick as Peyton slumped into her chair, thoroughly frightened.

Taylor looked confused at the question. Peyton knew the answer. They're literally best friends. She was the first one she told.

"No. Mom just mumbled that it probably made sense and then I went to go play soccer."

Ryland smiled lovingly across the table at Taylor. Lia made a gagging sound.

You thanked whatever being was listening that Peyton's chaos energy hadn't prevailed. If you thought, Ryland was your demon child while you were pregnant with her, you surely hadn't seen anything yet.

"Okay, why don't all of you kids, go do whatever it is you do in the livingroom. Mom doesn't need you to see her scarf down an entire bottle of merlot in one gulp." You mumbled that last part under your breath.

Everyone but Lia left the table, happy to be excused.

You stared at her blankly.

"I'm 22."

You're not exactly sure why but your patience is wearing thin quickly.

"Did I ask how old you were?"

"No, ma'am. Excuse me." She bowed her head dramatically before grabbing Kaleb and scurrying from the table.

"Kids. So....interesting." Chaeyoung said in an attempt to break the silence.

"Yeah. I keep telling myself that my reward for not killing them are future grandchildren. Well, actually. I'm already terrified of whatever Peyton procreates."

Both Chaeyoung and Suzy laugh at your joke.

"So, how'd you two meet?" Jisoo asked inbetween sips of her wine. She wasn't even looking in Chaeyoung and Suzy's direction, if only because it was sort of hard to peer around you in their positions.

You tried to listen for answers, you really did, but your reasoning for the irritability comes to light. You're sweating and almost slumped over into Jisoo, but you somehow managed to keep yourself upright.

Jisoo and Chaeyoung's eyes snapped to you at the same time. And the last time you felt this much dread, was when you found out that Jisoo and Chaeyoung found out about each other.

It's almost like you see Chaeyoung's mouth move in slow motion. You will her not to say anything, just let you silently excuse yourself from the table and take your suppressants, but no. Things were never easy when it came to Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

Chaeyoung offhandedly mumbled "That's familiar." She doesn't really mean anything by it. You knew that, hell even Suzy knew that.

But you can see the glass in Jisoo's hand start to shake.

"What did you just say?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. I didn't mean anything by it, Jisoo. I swear."

"Chu...let it go." You do your best to calm her down with a light touch to her thigh.

"It's no big deal. It was stupid I shouldn't have said it."

"You fucking my wife isn't a big deal?"

"Jisoo! What the hell?" You stared at your alpha who seemed to be looking right through you to Chaeyoung. The pent up anger in her eyes was quite astonishing.

"What's your problem, Jisoo? It's been years and the only one who still fucking cares is you." Chaeyoung said with a shake of her head.

"My problem is you."

Chaeyoung rolled her eyes, "I'm married with two beautiful kids. I don't want y/n and she doesn't want me. Grow up."

Chaeyoung gathered her belongings and gestured for her wife to follow her. Suzy did so reluctantly, she shot a glance of sympathy toward you but otherwise didn't say anything.

The family left, two confused children in tow.

You swallowed harshly, it was surprisingly easy to fight off your heat instincts considering you wanted very little to do with the person that's supposed to help you through that.

"Well. Congratulations."

Jisoo's brows furrowed, not in the least bit surprised when you dont elaborate.

You got up from the table without a word. You headed to the livingroom and poked your head in, "Peyton, do you mind cleaning up the table. You don't have to do the dishes, just put them in the sink. Thank you." Abigail and Ryland stared after you.

Peyton set about doing the task without any fan fare.

You then hurried into your bedroom. Wiping at your eyes and your makeup.

You knew Jisoo had followed you. Probably wanting an explanation about what you said.

"Why can't you just let it go? It's been twenty years. You said you were over it, but every time you're even slightly reminded you blow up. You know how sorry I am but it feels like I'm still being punished."

"You slept with her. You're mine and you slept with her." Jisoo looked at you like she didn't understand how you didn't get that.

"I'm yours now. I wasn't back then. Even if you imprinted on me I wasn't your mate. I wasn't even your girlfriend. I didn't cheat on you. Why does everything I did have to be some slight against you?"

Jisoo huffed, "You knew I loved you. You led me on you made me think that it was only me. That you were only going to choose me."

"What did I ever say to make you think that? Was marrying you not enough? Is being your mate not enough? Those three beautiful babies not enough?"

"We have four kids."

"Oh, hop off it. You know that's not what I meant."

Jisoo doesn't say anything further. She only stares at some point passed your head.

"Am I not enough for you, Jisoo? Because I don't know what else I can give you. I gave you my life, my love, my womb. But it's still not enough for you. What else do you want from me?!" You tried not to raise your voice too much, but it was sort of a hard feat to accomplish around your tears.

"To go back in time and not sleep with her. To say she never meant anything to you."

"Oh. You want the impossible." You nodded slowly, not agreeing in the slightest. But you got it now.

"Say it."

"You know I can't."

"Say it, y/n."

"We told each other that we would never lie to each other, and I'll be damned if I start now."

"...Then tell me to leave."

"Jisoo."

"I need to go, but I can't do it unless you tell me to."

You choked on a sob, "Fine. Go. Just know, if you walk out of that front door everything that I have said tonight, will be proven right."

That got Jisoo to hesitate. To rethink breifly. But the alpha is telling her to go before she does something she really regrets. So, she leaves. And the pain that encompasses her heart is nothing like she had ever felt in her life.

You heard the door slam shut and with it, Peyton walked into the room. You pretend that you dont see the tears in each other's eyes, "Mommy?" Her omega is calling out to yours, probably more than she realized.

She's technically a pup and she needs comfort, so even though you felt like curling up into a ball and dying you give it to her.

She practically falls into your lap and she sniffled. Your and Jisoo's bond isn't broken by any means, but even the children can tell there's something not quite right.

"I didn't mean for you to hear that, baby girl."

"Are you two going to be okay? I've never seen mama that mad before."

And that question coming from her daughter seemed to hurt the most, "I hope so, Pey. I hope so."

[gaymergoose]

Favourite food for everyone - or if that gets asked before me, favourite article of clothing!

you are the first to ask, so I will do both! warning: i went off a bit oops this is long

Malika - her dwarf mom’s famous (in Malika's eyes, at least) dumplings, which are literally just bits of dough boiled and then sauteed with some butter, onion, and a pinch of salt. thats it. they are bland as all heck but Malika loves them more than any fancy food she's had on her adventures. / her prized set of Adamantine full-plate armour, which has seen her through so many near death experiences (and a few actual deaths) and have become synonymous with her sense of self as the group's shield, literally and otherwise. now that it's been enchanted to always be comfortable to wear no matter what, she never takes it off if she can help it, even sleeping in it!

Thalia - sweets!! especially those lil sponge/jam cakes they have at parties that are just tiny cubes cut from big cakes. most of her life spent as a member of a noble family and being forced to attend boring parties was spent squirreling away these little treats to her own hiding nook where she would spend the whole party out of sight munching in a less-than-ladylike fashion / speaking of fashion, her favourite item of clothing is her favourite pair of boots! comfy enough to adventure in, but still nice enough to justify wearing them during her everyday affairs as baroness of Irinia. she hates being made to wear high heels, the most she'll tolerate for formalwear is a low stable 1-inch heel

Zeegs - m....mm.......m e a t s............ (as much as they're reluctant to admit to anyone, human flesh is by far the tastiest thing they've ever been able to snack on. probably dont wanna to ask for elaboration on that) / they don't say it, but it's easy to tell that they love their new cloak of resistance, this white cloak is by far the nicest article they own, it's soft and warm and more than once has been used as a blanket in a pinch and by morning Zeegs was cuddled up with it like a child with their blanket (don't tell them that though - they'll likely bite your arm off)

River - grilled or smoked fish, the good shit. they're not hard to please, clearly / if they could have it their way, they wouldnt even wear clothes at all, but public decency n all that jazz, so they stick to a minimal unobtrusive wetsuit-like shorts and throw their armour on over their bare chest, or over some mesh fishing net that they don when they get the "no shirt, no shoes, no service" talk

Soleil - beer-BBQ sauce-slathered pheasant wings, and other pub food most often found at her favourite temples of Cayden Cailean, and of course, her own signature brewed beer and spirits that are disgusting to anyone but herself, though she won't turn her nose up to any alcoholic drink (its the alcoholism babe) / a nice long, flowy skirt is comfortable and mobile, and whoever says pants are better is a damn fool

(keeping the rest shorter since I ranted far too much on those first ones)

Azure - food from her homeland of Qadira always brightens her day / anything that's light and breezy and twirls so she can dance in it!

Fern - used to be she only liked her own home-cooked druidic recipes passed down from her parents' extended druid clan, but she's developed a sweet tooth for her gf Seren's baking ;3 / she used to treasure the silver pendant bearing the holy symbol of Gozreh that her parents gifted her when she moved away to Absalom, but for the last year ever since her brother came to live with her, she hasn't been seen wearing it once.

Tallis - only the most expensive and luxurious seafood dishes can truly satisfy this discerning palette! (aka anything with shrimp) / only the finest finery and glamourous gaudiments are fit to be tailored on the finest of forms! (aka anything with excessive amounts of glitter)

Rienna - she likes spicy things, the hotter the better, especially if it hurts / black leather and lace. that's all you need to know.

Zara - prefers her food cold, and raw. you don't want to know any more than that / a sensible set of laboratory-safe apparel suitable for performing unethical experiments in the name of scientific discovery

Ritu - anything her lovely gf Marie makes!! also spinach pizza, and sprite with lots of ice / anything with lots of rainbows or bright colours, the world needs to know that this superhero is gay!

[exhaustedarts]

Spreading Like Poison Ch.2

Ch. 1  Ch. 3  Ch. 4

Virgil and Janus have been dating for over a year now, and the fans were demanding a Q&A after it finally was announced. 

Janus had gotten a spot near the beanbag chair, which was opposite of Virgil. There was one question for the ‘Anxceit ship,’ as the fanders called it. It was directed at Virgil.

Thomas asked, “Is Deceit a shitty boyfriend to have?” He looked up at Virgil, surprised.

Janus had stood there in shock, his mouth gaping open. The others were put off by it too, but Virgil didn’t skip a beat. 

“I mean, I wouldnt say shitty, but he isn't a great one, either… He lies duh, he'siterally the personification of deception, but he also doesn't listen to me.  I make a point, he doesnt like it. I don't really get why he always contradicts me, though. Its kind of.. Well, illogical. And I know logic isn’t his forte, so..”

Janus sputtered. “Wh- b- I-”

Patton frowned. “You do do that. I mean the contradiction. Well, I assume also the lying. Maybe you should try to agree with each other more! Agreement is the key to a healthy relationship.”

Roman raised an eyebrow, his hand sliding to his katana. “What do you lie about, Janus?”

Janus felt his sasy, sarcastic video persona crumble. “I- I try not to,” He said, looking around the room nervously. “I’ve been trying not to mess up, honest!”

Virgil shrugged. “It doesn’t really bother me.”

Logan had adjusted his glasses in that, ‘I’m about to spout a few facts,’ way. “It seemed to me that it did seem to bother you, at least a little. In fact, according to recent psychologists, lying in a relationship destroys self esteem, and it develops trust issues between people. As humans, we need to be able to trust someone, and usually someone who is deceptive is someone we don’t need to trust. Perhaps Janus is not the best partner.”

Janus felt absolutely sick. Thomas’s Logic had proved that he was a bad boyfriend. “I- I- I-” He couldn’t force a proper sentence out. After a couple failed attempts, fully aware of the others watching him, he forced out some kind of sentence. “I don’t want to be, I don’t mean to,” He hiccuped. “I’m- I’m so sorry,” he said, and with a choked off sob, he sunk out before he could hear a reply. 

The room was silent for a moment. 

“He seemed genuinely upset,” Thomas said, shocked. “That wasn’t his lying tone, I think that he really didn’t know he was hurting Virgil like that.”

"The poor kiddo.." Patton said. "I'm gonna go check on him." 

"He actually kinda likes to deal with things alone.. learned that the hard way." Virgil chuckled. 

"The hard way?" 

"Yeah, he hisses at me then ignores me. It's fine though."

Patton made a concerned nose at the back of his throat. "Kiddo, it sounds like a bad relationship. Maybe you guys should break up?"

Virgil shrugged. "Maybe." 

Janus sighed heavily. He was looking back at the footage in the present, and he honestly couldn't care less at this point. Virgil had made it evident that he'd fucked up everything. But he loved Virgil! He didnt want to break up with him, and he hadn't brought it up.

At this point, he was just feeling depressed.  He didnt really want to do anything anymore unless it was sitting on the couch taking up as little room as possible. 

After he had heard Virgil say how he lies and how it made a bad relationship, to ensure he didnt lie, he talked as little as possible. 

He had even given up his self care days. Those were the days where he sat in his room in a Scooby Doo onesie, binged all of the What's New Scooby Doo's, and ate an entire pot of Mac n' cheese. Logan highly protested those days, since they were bad for his health, so he just quit them to avoid discourse. 

Earlier in the week, he had taken his box of 'special' memories and given them back. Logans old tie, Roman's old sash, and one of Patton's stuffed animals. He remembered presenting them to the sides with a look of shame on his face. 

The hardest to return was Virgil's old hoodie. He had been nervous about it for an hour before he had finally worked up the courage. He had said, “I.. I kept this after you changed your style. I know it was weird, but you hated me and.. I didnt know what to do.”

Virgil was silent for a full minute before answering. “Creep,” he said, and hung the hoodie in his closet.

So here Janus was now, laying on his bed and watching the latest Sides episode for the eighth time in a row.

He felt a tug on his navel and he flinched. Someone was lying. 

He sighed again, putting his phone away. He needed to get some food, he knew that. But he just couldn’t bring himself to care. So he just laid there, staring at the ceiling. 

Someone knocked on the door and Janus groaned. “Come on in,” He said, rolling over.

Virgil opened the door. “Yo, snakeface. Haven’t seen you in a while, so get your ass downstairs before I drag you down.”

“I don't really want to..” Janus’s bed was soft, and he was comfortable and warm. 

“I know that we dont need to eat or do anything, but stop being lazy. Its really not the good kind of selfish.” Virgil said pointedly, sitting down on Janus’s bed. 

Janus sighed. “But-”

“Just come down before everyone is more stressed out. Remus had a whole cake for breakfast, now hes chasing down the others going, ‘IMMA FUCK YOU’ and you know how to deal with it. Also you should eat something otherwise Patton’ll die from the stress.”

Janus twisted the sheets. “Okay. Um, who let him have a whole cake?”

“He got up and made one at 3 in the morning. It actually looked edible. Then he just started ripping out chunks of it and eating it. Theres frosting everywhere.”

Janus chuckled. Virgil was just sitting there with him for once, and he felt content to just stay like this, with Virgil and his snake plushes. But he had to go downstairs. 

“Hey Virgil?” He said, sitting up. “Do you hate me?” He lifted his eyes to Virgils.

“Why do you ask?” 

“Well, I was rewatching the QnA thing, and- and the one question about if I’m a shitty boyfriend.. And I was just wondering if you.. if you hate me.” Janus stared into his lap. 

Virgil scooched closer, putting his arm around Janus’s shoulders. “Is it because I dont hug you enough? I can be more affectionate!”

Janus’s skin was lit on fire and he smiled softly. “Yeah… this is nice..” 

Virgil gave him a light squeeze and stood up. “We can cuddle later. Right now, lets go downstairs.”

Janus groaned and pushed himself off the bed. “Remind me again, why do I have to go?"

"You know how to calm Remus down. Now come onnnn," He tugged on Janus arm like a child, smiling.

Janus laughed. "Okay, okay!" He grabbed his hat and allowed Virgil to drag him out.

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cottonwren]

Man I really feel like a woman | A.S.

hi there! whenever you’re able to could you write an ada shelby x fem!reader where they’re hiding their relationship so whenever they want to go out in public reader just dresses like a man but one day ada’s brothers interrogate the reader in her guy clothes and she’s just like ‘look im a lady we’re lesbians pls don’t kill me’ cause no one writes for ada and i looooove her sm!!! thank u so so much <3  (Taken from the original ask on @multi-fandom-fictions  /they allowed me to use it/)

“And there comes my handsome love” Ada grinned, walking towards you in the dark street. She wrapped her arms around you, gentle not to squeeze your binding and kissing you softly, a hand going to your jaw.

You kissed her back, holding her waist. There were very little things better than kissing Ada, and the things that were better also involved Ada, and sometimes involved your shitty single bed. Upgrading your living status was a priority as soon as you could move away from your family, and the hope was that you and Ada would buy a little place together. God, how you longed for domestic life.

“Come on, let’s go before my brothers see us.” Ada grinned, looking at you in the eyes and then dragging you down the steps by the canalside to go to your usual haunt, the little tunnel passage. “You know, you make a very attractive man.” She told you with a giggle, pulling you into the little nook.

“And you, as always, look like the most gorgeous girl that I’ve ever even been able to imagine.” You sat down on the little brick ledge, wrapping an arm around her waist as she sat sideways across your lap “You’re my favourite girl, you know. Do anything for you… anything” You told her gently, kissing her cheek. It was true - you really would, and you were very well aware that plenty of other men would too. Good men. Who could give her everything, things that you couldn’t, like marriage and children.

“And you, underneath all that bandaging and cap, look like the hottest woman in the world. Over that bandaging and cap, you manage to look like the hottest bloke in the world. Witchcraft, I reckon” Ada hummed, resting her head on your shoulder and watching the canal. “Halloween costume sorted then”

“Ada, love, it’s January” You laughed, gently holding a forearm over her thighs to help her balance on your lap “But thank you, I’ll come as a witch if you want”

“Mhm. You’d look good in a pointy hat.” Ada smiled, then cursed under her breath as she heard hollering voices and her name called out amongst the ruckus. “Fucking family - can they not let me have a relationship in private? I’ll see you soon, yeah?” She sighed, standing up and giving you a parting kiss before walking off.

You laughed as you heard her hollering back, aggressive in tone and fiery to touch. She was the most dangerous girl in Birmingham - the most dangerous anything in Birmingham, actually. Arthur was second to her - Ada Shelby was unexplainable, angered at the smallest of things, and unexpectedly powerful fighter. That, and the fact that she cut her nails jagged when she was about to go into a fight - ever since the accident that happened in the school bathrooms, Ada remembered to cut them normally when they went on dates.

Walking out of the other side of the canal, you smiled to yourself and then a fist collided with the side of your head. Before you could react, or even feel the pain, everything went black.

Light filled your vision as you woke up, identifying that you were in one of the industrial warehouses that filled Small Heath. Taking a deep breath, you let out a yelp - your binding had been on too long, and it was beginning to hurt. The pain from the binding almost masked the pounding of your head. Trying to get up, you moved your arms to find that you were indeed tied to a chair.

Who would do this to you?

Well, for one, the pastor, probably. You refused to apologise for telling the children that being gay was alright and that no-one should touch them like the pastor very obviously was. More obviously, though, the Shelbies. No way had they seen her and Ada, though - oh god, was Ada alright? Fuck. You had to get out.

You moved your hands slightly,  rubbing the rope against the wooden chair, trying to use friction to your advantage. Quickening your pace, you looked for exits. Which there were absolutely none of. Scaling the corrugated steel was not an option, otherwise the windows would  be an idea. Fuck.

“I wouldn’t think about escaping if I were you” Came a voice that you recognised as Tommy Shelby’s - third most dangerous man in Birmingham. He walked towards you, glaring at you with an intensity that you had only seen in similarly blue eyes.

“Well, if I knew why I was here that might help” You groaned, then cursed under your breath. When they kicked you out of sunday school for being too lippy, you reckoned it wouldnt be an issue anywhere else. You were wrong.

“My sister, Ada. What makes you think you have any fucking right to touch a Shelby? She is a child, no fucking man should be going anywhere near her. Especially not you” Tommy told you, taking his hat off and walking closer.

“I’m not a man. Is Ada alright?” You informed him, desperate for an answer to your question “Kill me for all I care, but I will not have Ada suffer for something I did”

“Is Ada alright? Is Ada fucking alright?” Tommy repeated, getting even angrier, “What the fuck do you mean you’re not a bloke”

“I mean, I’m a woman, who has bound her chest daily and now has her ribs sticking in awful places because the bloody bandages have been on for god knows how long just for the chance to be with your sister in public. Because I love her.” You told him, pretty much putting his razor on your neck yourself at this point. “And if that somehow makes me a threat to Ada, then you should probably shoot me.”

“What’s your name, then, if you’re a woman”

“Y/N. Now, I don’t know how many male Y/N’s you’ve met, but you can probably tell from the fact that if you bothered to take my hat off, that I am discernibly female” You told him “Is Ada okay?”

“Ada’s… Ada’s going to fucking kill me is how she is” Tommy groaned, pressing his hands against the wall “Fucking hell. Stay there, fucking hell”

It only takes a few seconds for screaming to fill the hall, an older woman’s voice was loudest, and then there was angry screaming that you could recognise within seconds. Ada came through the doorway and barrelled towards her brother, stopping in front of him, slapping him and then letting her eyes drift to you. The side of your face was black and blue, and your breath was laboured from the binding.

“Oh, fucking hell” Ada gasped. She ran towards you, dropping to her knees to untie your legs, fingers fast and fumbly, angry at the situation. Once your legs were free she untied your hands and helped you stand. She wrapped her arms around you, kissing you passionately. You kissed back, but struggled to breathe after a while.

Ada noticed and glared at Tommy, then back at you, reaching up your untucked shirt to rip the tape off of the binding bandages - she had done it many times, but this was the fastest she had ever done it. Breath returned to your lungs as she unwrapped your chest underneath the shirt. There was no time for words, she was too busy being caring and full of rage.

“Ada” Polly tried, not sure of what to make of the picture of you two.

“I’m busy” Ada announced before lifting you into her arms and walking towards the exit. She then turned to her only two authority figures and glared with the force of a thousand suns. “If you don’t like it, don’t fucking come home. I’m going to look after Y/N, because you” Ada huffed at Tommy “Have managed to give her a black eye and fuck up her ribs at the same time.”

[flower-of-the-desert]

I’ve seen some interesting interpretations of the scene between Magnus and Underhill saying that it wasnt bad because Underhill was just concerned about the security - which is his job - and wasnt happy about his boss breaking the rules for personal gain, and that he wasnt actually doing anti-DW, etc etc. Which is all fine and dandy but here’s why it doesnt work for me:

1) Underhill being concerned with security. This one I get. It makes sense, it’s his job, he’s supposed to keep outsiders outside. But Magnus isnt some random stranger Alec picked up on the street. He’s a close confidant of the NY shadowhunters, he’s the former High Warlock, he’s a DW leader. He’s proven his loyalty more than once and saved shadowhunters left, right and center. He’s also responsible for the goddamn wards protecting the place! If he’s considered safe enough to be allowed to ward the entire Institute, Underhill shouldnt have no issue with him staying there however long.

Otherwise this just reads as typical shadowhunter bullshit where they’ll tolerate a downworlder as long as he’s useful to them but once he’s not - out on the street you go!

2) Underhill not being anti-DW. Well, yes he says he personally doesnt mind but immediately afterwards he follows it with “it’s just there are protocols against this sort of thing...”.  What thing exactly? Shadowhunters bringing their partners over? Warlocks living there? Any DW? Mundanes? Like the context of this particular exchange is just really... I dunno, clear? Full of implications? Like Magnus asks if it’s because he’s a warlock, Underhill denies but then proceeds to say that the rules dont allow it without really explaining what it is in this context so it just comes back to Magnus’s assumption that it’s about him being a warlock.

So then the scene reads like Underhill supposedly not having an issue personally with a warlock staying at the Institute but at the same time trying to enforce a rule that says he isnt allowed to stay there. You cant have it both ways. He’s either lying about not minding or he feels he has no choice but to follow the rules even if he personally disagrees with them but in that case we should have seen him be reluctant about it and unhappy to have to say that to Magnus or explain that he’s got no choice but to obey the law although if it were up to him he wouldnt say anything. Or something. Instead we get him giving Magnus nasty stares and acting all petty and making remarks behind Alec’s back which to me clearly points to the fact that he does have a personal issue with it after all.

3) Underhill being unhappy about his boss breaking the rules. Again I can see how that makes sense. And it ties in with the previous point. But again, Magnus isnt a stranger, he’s a trusted consultant of the NY Institute, he’s a friend to more than just one shadowhunter and he’s clearly been trusted with a lot of things around there even before he got involved with Alec. And Alec isnt breaking any rules that would harm his people, he’s not being reckless, he’s not making bad decisions that would affect the Institute or whatever. He had his boyfriend stay a few days till he finds a new place to live. Like if that’s not allowed then Clary and Simon should have never been brought to the Institute at all or allowed to stay. So Underhill being unhappy about it again comes back to SH vs DW in my opinion.

And both he and Alec fall into this mess and I think this is the first time I’ve seen a backwards character development of sorts? Like usually in this kind of plot lines the character would start the episode/season following the Bad Guys(TM), obeying the rules they’ve set for him and in the process hurting the people he loves because he’s making the wrong choices. Then by the end he’s got his moment of truth and realises these people/organization/whatever are Bad(TM) and he should break away from them and stop obeying their terrible laws. This is usually accompanied by their lover helping them see the light and all that jazz. Here instead we get the opposite - Alec starts out being like oh, the clave’s rules are just suggestions, nobody would mind one bit and ends it with I have to follow the clave’s rules. And in our context the clave is the Bad Not Good Evil Organization that our hero is supposed to break away from and stop following their laws. Except he cant even do as little as letting his boyfriend spend a few days because the clave said so.

Like ???? Why do you keep telling me he’s one of the heroes of this story when he’s got his head so far up the clave’s ass that I dont know how he’s still breathing tbh.

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2018/2019 Day 4

@lilanette-week

This one was quite funny to make, especially as I wrote Adrien’s ability for delusions-and has the most awesome Lila scene I’ve written so far, my little attempt to top the Lila of The Grand Deception. Tell me if what she pulls is comparable, ok?

Day 4: Akumatized

After the ball, things had changed drastically in Marinette’s relationships. After taking advantage of the opening provided by their common friend, Lila had done her best to impress her-and had done a good enough job she could have had her way with her, had she not showed more restraint than even Lila herself thought (it had been obvious in hindsight that the Italian girl had really wanted that), impressing Marinette even more in the process. Enough that, before they kissed (and Lila had given her more than enough time to move away), Marinette had proposed they exchanged their hair ribbons.

Now half the school was likely convinced they were dating, something that Marinette would have once been dreading due the chance of Adrien joining the group too… Except she wasn’t minding too much, she had noticed a couple days previously while she and Tikki put up a few pictures of Lila in her room. She had even started talking more smoothly to Adrien and transferred some of the stutter to Lila-especially whenever the fox girl would suddenly come too close with her face.

On the other hand she had been growing a bit irritated with Alya and Nino, as they seemed to have made their mission to keep her from staying alone with Lila and pushing her into Adrien’s arms. And she wasn’t the only one growing irritated, considering the previous day she had seen Lila venting by going to the two guys who had been bullying Nathaniel and Marc over their relationship and tricking them into punching each other’s fist-sure, it had ended any homophobic bullying at their school for the time being, but Lila still had got two guys to shatter their hands.

Thus, given she had a date with Lila planned for after the school, she had decided to confront them on that as soon as they arrived to school before her very irascible love interest got Akumatized again-and of course they were denying everything.

“Guys, I’m not stupid.” Marinette replied.

“But I’m starting to fear they are.” a strangely familiar voice pointed out. Marinette looked to see and, much to her, Alya’s and Nino’s very understandable surprise and shock, they found Rena Rouge. “I mean, they should know that this way they’re far too likely to bring back my superior death-tailed counterpart…”

Just as Marinette registered that “Rena Rouge” had repeated the pun made by the Minefield while Alya wasn’t there but Lila was, a fist suddenly became visible through her and an orange glow dissolved Rena Rouge-and revealed Volpina, wearing Lila’s jacket over her costume.

“What did you say about Rena Rouge and Volpina?!” and of course Alya had to take offense at being called inferior to Volpina.

“I’m saying that Rena Rouge, differently from me, can’t actually play the dizi flute, must remember to tell Ladybug I can give her some lessons.” Volpina replied. “That and, no matter how good she’ll become with the power of illusions, she just isn’t ruthless enough to use it at its fullest-I mean, I doubt she’d even think to use an illusion showing her taking someone hostage like I did.”

“Mmmgrr…”

“But that’s not important right now. What is important, Marinette, is that right now I’ve got the power of illusion and I’m fully in control, and can think of quite a few things to use it for in our date before I call Ladybug and give it up.”

While Marinette tried to guess if this time Volpina was a supervillain or was indeed her Lila with superpowers she saw a familiar mask of light appear before Volpina’s eyes-and her reply was the most awesome thing Marinette had ever seen since her first Miraculous Cure washed over Paris.

“Listen up, a’ stronzo ’ncorvattato, I’m not giving up my plans for the day for your sake, so you’ll better take a day of rest because if you do take away my powers or otherwise interfere with my date I shall scour the world searching for the cheapest copies of the ugliest jewels and pieces of clothing ever made for the Bling-Bling fashion, use them to assemble an outfit so tacky that Adrien Agreste could have his father wrapped around his finger simply by threatening to wear it in public, force you into it, and lock you into a closet with Madame Bourgeois!”

And with that, the light that signaled Papillon talking with an Akumatized villain disappeared while Volpina dusted her hands off, much to the shock of the entire class-both at the threat (because even Chloe could admit her mother was an incredibly nasty person, especially when confronted with a horrible outfit) and the fact it had scared Papillon away.

“Again, Alya, this is why Rena Rouge is inferior: considering half the things I’ve heard about that woman she would never think to make such a threat. Then again, maybe that means she’s a better person.” Volpina continued. Then she turned to Marinette, put a finger under her still open mouth, and asked: “Is this an invitation?”

“Uh? Agh! No! Yes! I mean-! STOP DOING THAT!”

“I just can’t get enough of that. Anyway, still going out with me today?”

“Yes! Yes! My god, that was awesome…”

Volpina smiled… And then the purified Akuma popped out of her left hair ribbon, leaving behind a rather bemused Lila. ____________________________________ As he returned home for the day, Adrien was in a strange mood. On one hand he was happy f0r Marinette and that Lila had turned over a new leaf, but on the other hand he didn’t like that it wasn’t him at Marinette’s side. If he wasn’t already in love with Ladybug he’d swear he was jealous.

“Welcome home, Adrien. How was your day?”

Adrien turned in surprise-his father never came to greet him at the door. That, and he looked strange. Probably some trouble on the job again.

“Just a bit strange-Lila was Akumatized again.” he replied, and feigning to have missed his father’s twitch-he didn’t exactly like Lila, ever since she had admitted her part in the book trouble. “But it was a strange Akumatization, she kept full control and even scared Papillon by threatening to dress him horribly and lock him in a room with Chloe’s mom if he took away her powers.”

“He threatened him with Audrey?! I wouldn’t do that to my worse enemy.”

“She can’t be that bad…”

“She’s worse. Enough I thought Papillon wouldn’t dare to Akumatize her-that’s the whole reason I gave her that second row seat.”

Adrien took a moment to digest the fact his father had dumped Audrey Bourgeois with serial killers and other people that Papillon was too decent and/or intelligent to Akumatize, then continued relating what had happened.

“Anyway, right after that Lila became so happy she accidentally purified the Akuma, and-father? Father?!”

Adrien wondered why did his father just ran and locked himself in his office before activating the security system-it wasn’t like he was Papillon, and even then Lila didn’t have the means to actually enact that threat. Or did she, and his father thought she’d come there believing they had information useful to track him down? After all, they had a book with information on the Miraculouses and Lila had seen it…

What Does the Fox Says

As many of you guys may have noticed, just as Rena Rouge’s design includes nine “tails” (two in the tuxedo-like tails of her costume and the rest in her hair), so Volpina’s design has four (the belt, the side locks and her immense mane of hair)-and given how terrifying Volpina was, a certain someone obviously had to make a pun with the fact one of the Japanese words for “four” sounds like “death”.

Returning with the phrases in Romanesco: this time it translates as “tie-wearing piece of shit” (as many of you guys know, I use “Papillon” rather than “Hawk Moth” because in Italy a “papillon” is the bowtie and allows me to use that pun). I guess that the side effects of Akumatization impaired Lila’s ability to come up with better insults…

[missjackil]

A Dose of SPN Positivity!

For those who know me, they know I love this show.... flaws and all! im critical sometimes, but not overly. Bottom line, I am addicted to the story and Im in love with Sam and Dean.  With Season 14 about to start, and we’re all getting antsy, too much negativity has been flying around, so I want to share some things i love most about the show, and maybe make some of you reflect for a moment and think “Yeah, that is pretty great” and smile.  Supernatural has been referred to as “The Little Show That Could” and to me, its such a fitting description. Logically, on the surface, it looks like it just can’t. I mean, how can a fantasy/horror show, survive with such a low budget, light special effects, and not very scary most of the time. I mean hell, they dont even have that many monsters that look like monsters, so why has it lasted longer than a season or 2? Let alone, 14 seasons with no signs of stopping yet. First and foremost is obvious. Sam and Dean and the actors who play them.  This essay will be full of gushing about these boys, so if you dont feel like enduring such a hardship, scroll on past. if that interests you.....

Yes these 2 fabulous men are the life blood of this show. Without them, we’d have nothing. THEY are the reason, this little show can, and does. Even those who like one and not the other, even if they dont realize it, the one they prefer is who they are because of the other. Both of their qualities and flaws can be directly linked to their influence on each other. If for some reason the other was gone for good, the one left will change drastically. As we see when one is dead or in grave danger, albeit temporarily, the other changes. Sam is no longer sweet, laid back and practical, and Dean is no longer funny, charming, and nurturing.  In fact, they both seem to become an amplified version of their brother. When Sam dies, Dean gets quiet, sometimes too quiet. He also gets methodical and focused. You may get lucky and just get shot in the back, but if he chooses to speak, he chooses his words to let you know shits gonna hit the fan. “You have my brother, and you have one chance, just one, to hand him over, and if he isnt in one peice, when I find you, and I WILL find you, I will take you apart” Sam on the other hand is boiling over with emotion. My boy becomes savage. He doesnt always choose a lot of words to say, he gets his whole point across most of the time with “WHERES MY BROTHER???!!!!” This... my friends, is good stuff! These things couldnt be done with such beauty without Jared and Jensen. Their offscreen relationship, whatever it may be, is wonderful. Theres no denying the love and respect they have for each other. They are very supportive of each other, and help make the other better at their job. They’re not typical actors who have a work relationship but otherwise spend time with each other. They genuinely enjoy being together, and this shows on screen. When two people are this good at their jobs, and with each other, you just have to keep watching. Other things I love about the show, are kinda small. Some maybe youve never noticed, but maybe now you will and enjoy them too, like... Brains vs Brawn: At first glance, we all go Sam=brains, Dean=brawn right? But thats not actually the case. Dean is far from stupid, and Sam is nowheres near a wimp. Dean teases Sam about being a nerd, and Sam doesnt mind, he kinda wears his nerdiness like a badge of honor. Dean will never admit to being a nerd, but he is. He’s read Vonnegut, knows every old west cowboy statistic, and likes LARPing. Sam, though a bookworm, is one tough mofo. hes tall and muscular and has shown to be a little freakishly strong. He can also take a great deal of pain. And though Dean is known more to be the fighter, he can be very warm and nurturing. And nerdy Sam can make you shit your pants with just a look if you piss him off just right. I absolutely LOVE this balance!! Its one of my favorite things! Old school vs New; A lot has changed in 14 seasons. The brothers have grown, as well as the story, but their roots are never forgotten. They’re still driving around in the same car. Hell. Baby has become the 3rd lead! Even though they have mom back, they never forgot her, or dad, and both were spoken of often throughout the series. They refer back to old days often, so we can all get a feel of nostalgia when we remember too. Most episodes bring the deep past up in one way or another, I love this! Loss and Death: I know so many of us complain that they die and come back too much, but I have a real appreciation for it, The circumstances are always different, and so are the methonds of coming back. Sometimes the death isnt serious, or they dont “seem” dead, like in First Blood or Dark Side of the Moon, when there may have been an initial “wtf?” we got to see them in heaven, and in first blood, they came right back. However there was deep seriousness in All Hell Breaks Loose, No Rest for the Wicked,  Do You Believe in Miracles, Swan Song, Red Meat and Beat The Devil that you felt the dying brother’s physical pain, and then the emotional pain of the surviving brother.  No matter how many times they die, they still hit these types of episodes out of the park. WE may know theyre coming back, but they dont. it still crushes them and I love this! Sam and Dean’s Sexuality: I love that their sexual natures are different, but theyre both okay. Dean is sexually active, enjoys porn and vocalizes some fantasies, Though Sam can tease him a little, its just brotherly ribbing, its not judgemental or trying to make Dean feel bad. Sam isnt overly sexual, he’s gone many seasons without sex at all. He doesnt appear to enjoy porn, we know he doesnt like strip clubs, and its NOT because he’s unattractive!! Dean teases him but he doesnt try to make him feel bad. When he has heavily suggested that Sam get laid, its just because he wants him to have fun. Dean even said he appreciated that Sam wanted to stay pure and waited. Otherwise, its okay that Sam is (at least kinda) asexual. Neither are shunned or judged because of their sexuality. Winsync: This is one of the greatest things. if they didnt do this, we wouldnt care, we would never say “It would be a much better show if the brothers mirrored each other, or did the same thing at the same time” but for whatever reason, TPTB wanted this, and it works so well! Its an intimacy we can see without the show going OTT bromantic. Its the connection, the closeness, and being soulmates. I LOVE this! Soulmates and Brothers: Normally a show will make soulmates out of lovers. It’s not often they do it with siblings. It helps justify their deep love and devotion. It adds an additional layer to their relationship. It makes them so tied together that they will share eternity in heaven together, and not just in their memories. This was a very good decision made by Kripke and crew, so we will all know they cant live without each other, even if they just lived in different homes. I love this! Meta Madness: Though I dont like all the meta episodes, I do love the fact they can do them, and DO do them. Because the whole premise is the supernatural, nothing is impossible, even AUs and cartoon worlds. Sometimes I might roll my eyes, but its awesome to me that they can experiment this way and see how it goes. I Love this!! The Bros are Oblivious: Sam and Dean have been through basically everything, and have seen and done everything, yet they seem shocked when people say theyre famous, or when they heard people tell stories about them. Occasionally they grasp their importance, like when they tell people they save the world, but they were impressed that Asa fixed killed 5 Wendigo, and had an Angel Blade, and Father Luca met the Pope. I mean God hung out at the bunker and made them pancakes! Their Heads Dont Get Too Big: Every once in a while, TPTB make sure we, and the boys, remember that they are only human. Even if they lock away Satan, kill Death, save God’s life, they’re just men. Remember when Bobby died and Dean was sure he wouldnt because “its just one bullet!” ? I can see how it would seem so silly to Dean, and even to us, that someone who has lived through so much, could die from a stupid little bullet. I think that one of the smartest things the show has done in ages, was to have Sam tortured by Toni and friend. Sam was so bold and cocky (and need I say sexy?) telling Toni he’d been tortured by the devil himself, and what could she do to him... He soon learned Hell torture or not,  cold showers still suck, blow torches to the feet still hurt like hell, and a mortal human can still fuck with his head. And Dean, well he can still be put on the injured reserve list from a jacked up leg. IMO S12 was great for re-humanizing the Winchesters. I love this! Comedy to Tragedy: Some of the best episodes, started out funny and ended in a tear jerker. Mystery Spot, Just My Imagination, and Beat The Devil top my list. I love the emotional rollar coaster, Coming away exhausted from an episode is the bestthing I can ask for! They havent tried it the other way around, tragedy to comedy, and thats good. If you are crying at the beginning and laughing later, it doesnt justify the grief and you may feel let down and hollow after. SPN is great with having some humor in even the most depressing episodes, but they know when using it and leaving it out is best. I love this! Brohugs: My #1 favorite thing, aside from the hug in 6.1, they have all been beautiful. Not once, have the boys lost the love, or even repeated the same hug. Each one conveys a different message, a different emotion, but all say “I love you more than everything” and I wont ever get tired of them! I would do anything for a single hug in my whole life that had such love in it, as any Winchester bro hug! I.LOVE.THIS!! Now I hope if you read this far, you got to smile a few times, and a spark was added to the fire that you fell in love with 14 seasons ago. Here’s to S14, i hope its filled with all of these wonderful things!

[iesharael-blog]

1/5/19 Happy New Year

ok im gonna be honest... I dont remember the past 5 days other than i’m sick and can barely breath and i mad the mistake of going to the movies with some friends. i wanted to see mary poppins again so me and 4 friends were gonna go, well after we already planned that, one made me really uncomfortable when he was drunk messaging me and not accepting that i did not want a relationship with him. even going so far as to say he hates my ex simply cause he got me first. so im gonna call these friends A B C (as well as D and E to explain backstory) and explain who they are with a little key so i can give the story without being revealing of identities and what not.

Me - [fem] myself. I’ve know them for a little over 20 years and they tend to be a complete child and was treated as the child of friends back in high school and cared for as such. highly susceptible to emotional manipulation especially from people they trust

A - [fem] my best friend since 5th grade who i fondly refer to as my mama bear. my amazing protector of both physical and emotional battle grounds. the very person who’s house i ran to when i needed time away from my parents to figure things out before asking for therapy.

B - [male] twat i met my junior year who i started calling dad at some point and has since become completely unstable. very egotistical and leaves arguments if he isn’t winning constantly playing the victim card.

C - [male] guy who i was randomly introduced to through his younger brother adding him to a discord server i run as an attempt to shut down my ex for daring to call the unholy texts that are The Harry Potter Series “mediocre” (i also have his phone number randomly cause i used to know his twin) and has been friends with B for a while even going so far as to have a running joke of them being in a relationship even tho they are both straight.

D - [fem] B’s ex who i refer to as step mama and who tends to be fairly motherly towards me

E - [male] dude i was friends with in highschool and who was good friends with B

My Ex - [male] still on very good terms and he is very caring towards me. he tries to make sure im doing whats best for me and not letting anyone manipulate or harm me

ok that was bigger than i expected but im sick im not thinking straight so this gonna be a bit weird and long... ok heres the story:

so im all like “hey i wanna see Mary Poppins again!” and B and C are like yeah lets go! with B immediately stating how he had planned to see it with B before they broke up, already putting a slight damper on the thing but we got past it. a day or two after i end up with me and B agreeing (timestamp 9:30) to message on discord between 11-12 as well as set up a server for us and his little sis to play on. (the wait was for him watching doctor who with his family) so i shower and puzzle and finally with no word by 11:42 i message him asking for when he thinks he will be on to which i get the message “I don’t know I’m really drunk it’s gonna be a blast “... and now a transcript of what followed next copied word for word (well privacy edits) time stamps (and spelling errors) included:

ME Last Sunday at 11:44 PM

but i guess mary poppins day discusion will wait for tomorow

me and your sister agreed on doing ftb sky adventers

B Last Sunday at 11:45 PM

Ok

Btw

Hehe

I shouldn’t say it

ME Last Sunday at 11:45 PM

say it

cant say btw then not say it

dick

B Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

Well

Uhm

ME Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

yes?

B  Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

I’m unhappy with [MY EX]

Because I was maybe going to ask you out

I can say this because I’m drunk

ME Last Sunday at 11:47 PM

omg lol (in the this is a funniy situation way, not laughing at you)

thought you were repulesed by me? yeesh [B] keep your story straight

after all i did like you a bit before i met [MY EX], but hes always nice and youre... drunk nice

so eta for server mister cassanova?

B Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

No I want to be nice to you sober too but for some reason I get scared so I hide behind lies

Idk a while

Tonight

ME Last Sunday at 11:51 PM

you dont have to be scared, im just shocking

B Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

Well if we go to Mary poppins

Even with [C], who I’d like to be there

Maybe a mini date?

ME Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

no.

B Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

Aqwww

ME Last Sunday at 11:52 PM

sorry but i cant date again not yet

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

I’m gonna be sad

ME Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

i told you why me and [MY EX] broke up

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

But when I’m sober I’m going to regret most of this

ME Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

its not good for me to be in a relationship rn

B Last Sunday at 11:53 PM

I know

Well

Actually

ME Last Sunday at 11:54 PM

look if things dont work out with [MY EX] once my brain is on the path to fixed then we will see, until then dont wait up for me

B Last Sunday at 11:54 PM

I think you do need to be with at least someone because when you are depressed and thrown out of it you need someone to relate to and talk and make you feel comforted and loved

Time alone isn’t the answer

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

except i have friends for that hon

B Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

Yeah

You dooo

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

you dont need a relationship relationship

i have a [A]

B Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

Well

Is she helping

Are you loved

ME Last Sunday at 11:55 PM

i talk to her about everything mental

i talk to [IRRELEVANT MALE FRIEND] about physical questions

creepy right? well this kept going with me getting more and more uncomfortable and refusing to accept that i dont want a relationship (a quote from B in reference to my ex: “ He might be your daddy, but I’m your daddy” tf? and yes he bolded) to the point that i was just sticking around so hed put a server up for the pack. then a bit before 2 o’clock i say that im gonna get off at 2 cause that when i had planned to, to which he (im not sure if intentionally) manipulated me into staying on till 3 o’clock because he would tell me about a personal thing i was curious about. finally 3 o’clock comes around, we call and i hear the story and once the server is up he tells me hes gonna go play league with some people (note random online people not irl people he supposedly likes) and will be back in 20 mins. i figure what the hay ill wait. 40 mins later he says hes not getting back on... obviously im furious. (screen shot of convo i sent to someone day of to explain without having to retype - im red)

next day comes and im uncomfortable and C ends up buying minecraft so he can play with me on the server, we get in call with a now sober B when he gets on and i confront him about the messages even sharing screens for proof (i learned its best not to 1v1 argue him cause im easy to manipulate) and he claims to not remember it but whenever C is away during the call he says things that sound slightly suggestive. at this point id like to note that i have a full recording of me scrolling through the messages as an unlisted video on my youtube channel and have sent it to people who with no prior suggestion have described it as “rapey” and warned me against him. my ex in particular warned me that i am very susceptible to an abusive relationship rn due to my mental state and that he seemed very unstable. at this i decided to invite A to go to mary poppins too since she would be a good protector of me should anything happen and to have a more familiar presence there. 

now here is the juicy part. so D was talking to C where C was complaining how clingy B was becoming and how creepy he was being towards me so she quickly messages me on snap warning me that he is a ‘manipulative possessive jerk who will see me as nothing but an object to conquer and get mad when you are unhappy’ after hearing this i rembered B’s story about D cheating on him with E before D and E got together and started to wonder how true that was. me and D had a lovely conversation following that about my singular past relationship and her current one and blah blah blah.

MOVIE DAY: (C canceled the night before so now it is just me B and A going) we get picked up by A and all seems well with everyone being friendly and B seeming kinda cautious. i think hes regretting the convo so i decide to be nice. the movie was great and we decide to hang in the mall after (i made a build a bear). so while we were hanging at one point he scared me when after he provoked me into my light face wacks (cat play pretty much, wouldnt damage the most fragile ice) he grabs my hand to stop me and me thinking “oooo game fun!” i start to dig my nail into his hand to get let go of but instead of him reacting how i expected (letting go so i can escape) he looks at me with the scariest most serious face ive ever seen and (this part still scares me) says “you dont want to go down this path” he finally lets go and i go sit by the hot topic earing displays while A and B look at buttons then when B sits next to me while A waits to pay he basically called my claw abuse. (like what? you grab my hand hard enough that it hurt when i was doing the same playful banter weve done for years and apparently im the abuser cause i do my standard get away strategy of hurting the hand thats holding me? what did you expect me to do? just comply and calmly stand there with my hand held above y head in yours?) after we leave hottopic we are in the car and somehow we get to the topic of the drunk conversation.

so im talking and trying to explain how uncomfortable he made me( and how i was afraid to be alone around him and how i had been scared remembering that he not only knows where i live but where the spare key is!!!!) and i dare use the word “rapey” ... lets see if i can get a definition for yall but first ill say how i use that word - “rapey. an adjective to describe a situation in which one party becomes uncomfortable and afraid to the point that they feel if this continues they could be raped or otherwise hurt/abused in the future” - and now the second definition from urban dictionary:  “Rapey A guy who's creepy, and hugs or kisses inappropriately. He has a rapist lure. You don't think he would do it but definitely gives off that vibe. i.e. creepy hugger at the office.” - now i apparently  made a huge error in daring to use that word to describe the conversation where he would not accept me saying no to a relationship (and at one point asked me my ex’s dick size - which i did not give) and continously stated how using words liek that could end up getting him in jail. A and i look at eachother incredulously and try to argue with him a bit but ultimately decide to just get back to the point and bring it back to how uncomfortable i was and how he needs to change his attitude and appologize but he keeps bringing it back to that word. fianlly im close to tears and mutely hugging my yoshi in the front seat and the whole car goes silent. A offers that i sleep over tonight which i decline knowing im sick and need my bed and we talk a bit about my ex and goign out for ramen with him sometime. once i was home i removed B from discord snap and steam and will remove him next time im on league as well. he was removed from my server and i left any i had in common with him. i am done trying to forgive him.

on a brighter note i got sims 4 cause C bought it for me since i couldn't refund his ticket i prepaid for and im learning how to get better from this stupid dry throat. hopefully ill be better by Tuesday so i can go back to work at the library!

thanks for reading! <3 

i know this was a long one and probably makes half sense cause of the code letters and the fact that i am writing this while very light headed <3

[imagine-darksiders]

I'm guessing since the Horsemen are as independent as they are they show few people their homes without necessity, but what would it be like for their s/o to actually visit the Horsemen's home for the first time? What are all their homes like and can we get a quicl tour scenario? What would it take for them to actually open their homes to the person they care about most? I'd hope such a display of trust wouldnt be lost on their s/o! How do they feel about it... etc. etc. Hope your day is great!

FINALLY SHE GETS TO SOME OF THE OLDER ASKS!!! (O0O) xx

Death: He had actually asked you! 

There was something in the looks the horseman had been sending you that day that probably should have clued you into the fact that he was thinking. Deeply. ‘But,’ you reason with yourself, ‘When is Death not thinking?’ 

Death’s thoughts had been circling around in his head for more than just a single day, however. He found himself contemplating how trustworthy you’d proven yourself to be. Time and again, your loyalty had moved, humbled and even enthralled the horseman. ‘If not Y/n,’ he speculates silently, ‘Then who?’ And at last, he’d asked. 

“Y/n?” The sound of your name makes your ear twitch and you spin around with an earnest smile, meeting Death’s extraordinary eyes with your own. He notes how his mood rises significantly whenever you look at him without fear, hate or indifference. But complete, and total admiration. Even, dare he hope, adoration. Focusing on the utterly obvious soft spot he has for you, Death continues… 

“I’d like to show you something…..” 

All you can think of when he finally allows you to accompany him home is, ‘Wow, someone’s a minimalist.’ 

And it’s true. The eldest horseman’s home is modestly furnished, having only the bare essentials in way of comfort. There’s a four poster bed, built from old, dead wood. The same goes for the odd chair like structure in what you can only  assume is the sitting room. The walls of the house are a very odd, dark grey, resembling stone, but the surface is far colder than the stuff you’re used to. 

At least you can’t complain about the footing though. Throughout Death’s home, you discover that everything you walk upon feels as though you’re treading on the finest carpet in existence. Raising an eyebrow at the horseman, he shoots you a vaguely quizzical look before you ask him, “What is this?” Indicating the floor, Death follows your gaze and hums thoughtfully. 

“Fur,” he states simply. 

You blanch a little, “What?….All of it?” you demand incredulously, sweeping your eyes over the entire expanse of the ‘carpet’ that easily extends to the entirety of Death’s home. The horseman’s responding shrug does little to satiate your curiosity. 

Letting him get away with his incessant need to be cryptic, you place your hands on your hips and appraise the home around you. 

“It’s certainly….cozy,” you tease, earning a soft hum of laughter from Death as he catches your sarcasm. 

“What can I say,” he quips, “I’ll only adorn my home with the things I need.” 

You flash him a wide, devilish smirk. “Is that why you finally brought me here?” However, this time the horseman’s response makes you wipe the smirk off your face. 

“Perhaps,” he murmurs quietly, turning to stalk through the house into the arsenal, leaving you staring at him in wonder. 

War: Eventually, curiosity had overridden your overall uncertainty on the topic.

“War?” you call to the enormous horseman as he strides along behind you, “Where abouts are you from, anyway?” The casualness of the question takes him by surprise and you can almost feel the ground shake when he missteps. With a grunt, he responds, “I thought you knew? The Nephilim did not have a world of our own. So we-” 

“No, that’s not what I meant…” you interrupt, “I meant, where are you living? Now. Specifically. Like, if you were to say ‘my home is…’ where would that be exactly?” The horseman matches your stride so that he can properly give you a look dripping with suspicion. You, in turn, match his glare with a perfectly innocent one of your own. You know how mistrustful War can be. Even more so after the events that led to his false imprisonment. But slowly, you’ve begun to feel that he’s offering you more and more of himself the more you give him good reason to. Even though you’d helped him out exponentially after he came to Earth 100 years after it’s demise, he was still slow to trust.  

After a long moment, he seems to come to the conclusion that you’re worthy of such a trust, so he nods in understanding. 

“You wish to see the place that I call home?” he guesses correctly. Your eyes shine excitedly when he voices the question you’d been longing to ask him. 

“Oh yes! Yes please, War!” you clasp your hands as endearingly as possible and it doesn’t fail to drag a huffy laugh from his chest. 

It’s damn hard for the Red Rider to refuse you when he’d only just admitted to himself, albeit begrudgingly, that you are possibly the greatest friend he has. When you see his home for the first time, you’re struck by just how military it is. 

‘Well duh,’ you muse, ‘His name is War.’

The home itself boasts a grand entrance hall, trophy room, an entire floor upstairs for the bedroom, an armoury (of course) and an absolutely monstrous training room. You find that he’s laid down rugs of sorts, one in almost every room. They all belonged to both familiar demonic beasts and some you’d never seen before. His trophy room is full of heads, horns and even full sized, magically petrified creatures that War, at some point, had fought and slain. 

You take in the strong stone floors and high, sturdy walls with ardor whilst War watches. At last, you peer up at him with a wide smile on your face. “War, this place is amazing! I can’t believe I’m only just seeing it, did you build it yourself?” The horseman scowls, snorting at the assumption that he might have had help, so you throw him an apologetic look. He eyes you for a moment, his next question giving you pause.

“Do you…really like it?” He sounds so unsure of himself, like he really values your opinion on this matter. It’s enough to floor you. Grinning brightly and reassuringly, you nod enthusiastically. 

“Of course I do, War,” you promise. 

“Good,” he states, losing any trace of doubt that lingered in his voice moments before, “This is your home now as well.” 

Strife: He wouldn’t describe himself as a ‘home bird.’ The horseman would probably most attribute himself to the nomads of Earth. Those who wander and rarely settle, if ever. Yet…

“Surely you have somewhere to go when you’re not on Council business?” you  ask him, head leaning against his shoulder thoughtfully as he sits beside you on your sofa. Strife kicks his legs up and crosses them over one another on the coffee table, earning himself a glare from you. 

“Eh, I got a place,” he states nonchalantly.

Immediately, you perk up. “You do!? Where? Can you take me?” The horseman casts you a sidelong glance with a confused eyebrow raising at your sudden excitability. 

“Sure, I guess?” he says carefully, “Dunno why you wanna go though. Not much to see. I don’t spend a lot of time there-” 

“C’mon c’mon c’mon!” you squeak, ecstatic that he was so willing to show you his home. You leap up from the sofa and grab his hand, struggling to pull him up as he laughs and heaves himself off the cushions. 

You step through a portal and arrive at a place that…..honestly isn’t that overwhelming. 

“W-woah?” you stammer uncertainly, taking in the lush green landscape and half-built house that’s shadowed by thousand foot trees. If you didn’t know him better, you’d swear Strife was building on the Maker’s home world. The horseman shrugs at your reaction, undeterred. 

“I told you it wasn’t anything special.” He scuffed a steel toe at the stone scaffolding that holds up a particularly eye-catching pillar of marble. You’re 48% sure it’s marble. Strife watches you with a bored expression as you step forward and raise a hand to lay it flat against the smooth surface of the pillar. Your head swivels from side to side as you survey the interior of his home. Although only half finished, the foundations are strong, the walls are bright and eye-catching and there’s a very distinctive Strife flare. Perhaps in the way the whole thing’s direction is still so unclear, so unfinished and unwilling to be completed. Not even the house knows what it could be. 

Sadly, you turn to face the horseman and quirk a smile in his direction. His eyes roll but he doesn’t comment on your soft look. “I could help,” you ask timidly after a minute of quiet. Strife scoffs. 

“Oh yeah? Why?” His abrasive response causes you to frown slightly, but you remain otherwise steadfast in your own reply. 

You offer him a casual shrug. “Because I want to? Even you deserve a place to call home Strife,” you finish. The horseman’s eyes flash brightly in surprise for a moment before he chuckles deeply. Slinging an arm across your shoulders, he stands with you and stares up at the husk of a house. 

“Don’t need a place to call home when I’ve got you,” he flirts, making you grin widely and look away with a hot blush creeping up your cheeks. 

Fury: Like her eldest brother, Fury had been the one to ask if you wanted to see her home. Although, unlike Death, she hadn’t turned the decision over in her mind for days on end. Instead, one day she simply said to you ‘Oh! I’ve yet to show you where I live, Y/n.’ Not five minutes after she’d offered, you were strolling up to her front door. 

Of course her home is the most intricate place you’ve ever seen. You really oughtn’t have been so surprised at the sheer magnificence of it. Letting out a low whistle, “This place rivals the White City!” you nod decisively,  recalling the times when Azrael had kindly indulged you in your love of exploration. He’d been more than happy to give you a tour of his own home. 

The horseman claps you amiably on the back with a light laugh. “I should hope so,” she smiles, “I am glad you like it, Y/n.” She watches you with an all too fond grin as you skip through the enormous pearl coloured archway that leads directly into a lobby, framed by the most intricate Imperial staircase you’ve ever seen. She graciously shows you her home on a room to room basis. You see something akin to a kitchen, with a large open fireplace and ebony surfaces that decorate the back wall. She shows you her personal library, making you nearly faint in response. It almost makes up for half of her house, books lining each wall and stretching up to the ceiling high above you. Next, she shows you upstairs, where, curiously, you notice she’s installed devices that closely resemble those that might be found in a human bathroom.  

Quickly, Fury ushers you on, ignoring the questioning look you throw her way. 

“And this,” she declares, sweeping a wide arc with her hand at the final chamber, “will be our bedroom.” Fury turns to you and smiles down kindly, “What do you think?” 

Instead of answering straight away, you venture further into the room and marvel at the interior. There’s a wondrous, silken sheeted, queen sized bed laden with deep, wine red pillows. Velvety, purple curtains billow gently in the breeze, let in through a curved archway that leads out onto a wide balcony. Candles flicker, even now on every surface, creating a pleasant, warm light that makes you feel indescribably peaceful. 

“Your home is beautiful, Fury..” you breathe, finally turning to face her. The horseman’s face twists wryly when she realises you didn’t catch her earlier hint. With a flamboyant wave of her hand, she gestures around the room. 

“Our home, Y/n,” the horseman corrects you gently, revelling in the way your eyes light up in realisation and elation. Suddenly, the bathroom makes sense.

[nickatnightwalker-blog]

@bythepowerof4  in depth discussion of daisys every weakness and the responsibilities of power

bythepowerof4 hey question that ive been too nervous to ask in public: do people eat people here cause thats uh pretty mega fucked up?

nickatnightwalker honestly ive been running on the assumption that they do since theres like vampires and shit?

bythepowerof4 not to bring the mood down lol ill keep it light when we're hanging ;) oh

bythepowerof4 yeah shit

nickatnightwalker yeah shit

bythepowerof4 i havent been out here at night much so i havent seen em whoops

nickatnightwalker im familiar with a few but ive been trying to get my room to swiss bank status so we can chill there if youre worried

bythepowerof4 that sounds very excellent do you not have a roomie?? i got saddled with another newbie like straight away

nickatnightwalker nah, no roomie there's still a lot of empty dorms in my hall too

bythepowerof4 youre in the humany dorm right?? thats not very comforting lol

nickatnightwalker yyyyyyyyyyyyeah i know right where are you?

bythepowerof4 uhhhh proteus!!

nickatnightwalker which one is that

bythepowerof4 with the shapeshifty people i think?? total bull

nickatnightwalker doyou shapeshift?

bythepowerof4 uh not really? only once but i guess it looks like i am to everyone else? im not sure on the specifics

nickatnightwalker thats baffling you said stuff but to me it still means nothing

bythepowerof4 when we meet up you can judge for yourself, tell me if my form looks permeable and mutable to you or whatever lmao i was told we werent supposed to ask about this stuff :p

nickatnightwalker fromwho? i always wanna know

nickatnightwalker ort you woah sorry i hate tumblr

bythepowerof4 ???

nickatnightwalker yeah i didnt mean to send that lmao

bythepowerof4 lol uh i think it was, headsarolling, whoever that is, and the guy with the little cartoon smoker for an icon?? who got all defensive abt their supermatural shit

nickatnightwalker oh the headless kid is kind of a dick

bythepowerof4 hey also this might sound weird wait what

nickatnightwalker yeah?

bythepowerof4 headless????

nickatnightwalker headsarolling has no head

bythepowerof4 is that a thing oh my god

nickatnightwalker yeah yep thats what i said

bythepowerof4 ok for my own sanity im not gonna dwell on that ok ANYWAY

nickatnightwalker yeah bring it

bythepowerof4 could you. bring me my shoes back

nickatnightwalker sorry what

bythepowerof4 my shoes. daisy took my shoes

nickatnightwalker i am not surprised

bythepowerof4 which was ok at the time because she mustve had a pretty shit night with the uh, fire, and being propositioned by count freakmeout, but its been a while and i still dont have my shoes

nickatnightwalker ok yeah i can do that

bythepowerof4 ok cool thanks im sure she was kidding about her room being some mysterious death chamber but i dont wanna risk it

nickatnightwalker nah it kinda is but i can get through

bythepowerof4 lol spousal privilege does wonders ;)

nickatnightwalker actually we decided to not get married and live in sin for a while

bythepowerof4 best way to live obviously

nickatnightwalker i mean, you're only young once right

bythepowerof4 right!! enjoy it while you're both young soon enough youll be sitting in a dive bar complaining bout the ol ball and chain. time flies its a drag

bythepowerof4 hey we can real talk for a second right??

nickatnightwalker yeah im

nickatnightwalker kind of baked but hit me with it

bythepowerof4 ok obviously youre not actually dating daisy or if you are its like?? some weirdo casual shit so like my concerns are twofold 1. what is she like, into 2. is she actually as fucking terrifying as she was at that fight or was that like, for show

nickatnightwalker 1.  idk who she's into atm she's mysterious like that 2.  yes shes always like that you just kind of learn to roll with it sometimes she chills

bythepowerof4 ok. um

bythepowerof4 you know what i actually dont know what to do with this information but thanks

nickatnightwalker youre welcome she likes unicorns

bythepowerof4 not sure how to figure that into my approach but thats weirdly cute?

nickatnightwalker shes cute her eyes are far apart

nickatnightwalker she spins when shes happy

bythepowerof4 yeah wow

nickatnightwalker sometimes shes happy for bad reasons she was sitting on ins

bythepowerof4 thats not ominous at all

nickatnightwalker you just have ot tell her no very serioiusly it's hard

bythepowerof4 yeah i can see how that would be difficult youre like her little jiminy cricket tho thats so sweet

nickatnightwalker it's a heavy burden to bear

bythepowerof4 we gotta do what we gotta do does this burden come automatically with asking her out though id kinda wanna be more casual

nickatnightwalker no one can do it but im im the chosen one

bythepowerof4 on behalf of the student body id like to thank you for your sacrifice

nickatnightwalker youe welcome it's hard to be bufy the vampireslayer

bythepowerof4 oh, all those beautiful vampire boys lusting after you and your tight leather pants, must be such a nightmare!!

nickatnightwalker it is truely truely a nightmare andas far as i  know  leatherpants are not a part of this equation

bythepowerof4 youre such a poser dude did you even make it to season six?? early 00s fashion disasters abound, leather clad legs akimbo

nickatnightwalker rihgt no thats right season 6

nickatnightwalker i watched that????

bythepowerof4 lmao, if you need a refresher im ready and willing

nickatnightwalker i marathoned it l ast week it suddenly got so relevant\

bythepowerof4 lol ur telling me

nickatnightwalker listen listen i tried to kss one

bythepowerof4 wait a fucking second im slow ok but are you?? referring to mr byron?? FUCK

nickatnightwalker whom

bythepowerof4 dude!!!

nickatnightwalker o h what everyone makesmistakes everyonehas those days

bythepowerof4 you dont wanna be dinner right youre doing a piss poor job of staying away from vampires aka the most likely people to kill you everybody knows what what im talkin bout everybody gets that way

nickatnightwalker thank you you get it i didnt know how can thi sbe bmy fault

bythepowerof4 didnt he brag on night one how good he is at like, rending flesh from bone or something like i figured he was full of shit but its still a red flag mate

nickatnightwalker didnt know who he was trust me i wouldnt have com neAR that face

bythepowerof4 lmao youve got some shit luck huh

nickatnightwalker unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnbelievably daisyll kill hiim if hekills me though

nickatnightwalker vengeance from beyond the grave

bythepowerof4 hey bro pact if im ever about to get all up on someone who wants to taste my still beating heart or whatever please stop me aww cute!! avenging each others death is some really good bonding shit very um

nickatnightwalker i will absolutely stop you

bythepowerof4 hamlet i think

nickatnightwalker that was his dad

bythepowerof4 oh thanks (: oh ok gotcha

nickatnightwalker mnot related to daisy

nickatnightwalker not my dad or my uncle

bythepowerof4 bro pact if i ever misquote shakespeare in front of ur not dad or uncle please stop me i get the feeling its a deal breaker

nickatnightwalker oh my god is it ever if you dont know what shes saying sometimes its quotes she quotes a lot when she doesnt know what to say also cute

bythepowerof4 lmao very

nickatnightwalker very

nickatnightwalker you know what she

nickatnightwalker also makes this face like when you fuck up a quote?? her nose

bythepowerof4 im guessing you do it constantly and unapologetically then lol

nickatnightwalker no i dont misquote

bythepowerof4 woow sorry mr walker!! how dare i suggest otherwise

nickatnightwalker its ok i undersatnd

bythepowerof4 youre so forgiving!! damian is a very lucky undead creature of the night (:

nickatnightwalker why

bythepowerof4 i was kinda saying like "hes lucky to have you" but that might be a bit mean sorry :/

nickatnightwalker he has nothign

bythepowerof4 lol glad to hear it

nickatnightwalker youre welcome ame same

bythepowerof4 wait a fucking second am i the only person both awake and sober how did you let this happen

nickatnightwalker things progressed byond my control

bythepowerof4 suck it up chosen one!! power is control or something like that

[hekigankiseki]

apparently your 'selfless' act wasnt enough to stop future events from having loopholes. like the fog in Inaba, you wouldnt be able to stop that as people turn into Shadows in that fog. and then theres the whole steal your heart thing, where people become even worse. your wish for humanity doesn't seem to do anything... is this what you wanted? ( this isnt anon hate just a curious headcanon like question, how does he feel about this?)

                         “…I never did say change will come immediately, now did I?”

                         The heart of man was always the hardest thing to sway within a person. The mind can be tricked; the soul can be manipulated, but the heart stays true to what they believe in. Experience and memories tell the tale, and each beat lies a page eager to be written with the story of life. He remembers his own story very well– one filled with strife and depression (the number of hurdles he faced should’ve been enough to drive any sane man to insanity), but one also traced with goodness and trust and love. One year was enough to convince his heart to open itself to be written by others; to not give up on living and see the beauty the world and humanity may bring along.

                        Everything has a beginning and an end; Memento Vivere, Memento Mori. It was the key to him realizing his own answer to life, hence doing what he had to do. Beating Death was just not possible– how could he take down an ideology that drew the mother of Shadows in the first place? Something that existed since the dawn of time? All Minato could do was hold it back. He was hoping for a miracle, until realizing that he had to be the miracle itself. Equivalent exchange.

                      He enjoyed life: the sights, the sounds, the sensations of it all. He loved his remaining family, his friends. He loved the world, and learned to love it once more. And in a beat, the Great Seal was made through a godly whim.

                      “…Kirijo said it herself the best– for malice to truly be destroyed, everyone’s feelings must change… and that’s not an easy job to do.” Recalling how his silent demeanor and apathy for the events around him thaw into warmth and love, Minato can say hat he’s seen what change can do. The difference of his demeanor now to when he first arrived at the dormitory is astounding. Sure, the silence is there, but he’s come to love the world as it is, flaws and otherwise. If only the rest of the world would follow suit; but alas, the stubbornness of man is displayed in its full terror. They are the most stubborn creatures in the world.

                        Life strips people into their bare essentials; the will to live, the will to survive and the will to love. Trials and tribulations test these, and at the braking point it is astounding what people would do to cling onto what their heart has embraced as the truth. What happened several years ago, when The Fall was all but imminent, it was then Minato had the struggle to realize on beating death. How exactly are you supposed to stop something that was there since the dawn of time? If this was humanity was collectively wishing for, who was he to deny it? Even now that thought permeates the mind; despite holding the Universe Arcana, he wasn’t exactly one to speak for all of mankind. He was just one person.

                        “It’s not a loophole… It’s basically the truth. I can’t stop them from wishing something to come… But I loved the world and my friends too much to see it end just like that. It’s like… they needed more time to realize there’s a lot of things to live for.” All he could do was delay it. Borrow time. In exchange for his life, he made the Great Seal; all so that the world could not wish for untimely fate to end all life.

                        Certainly even he didn’t foresee what humanity would do to itself.

                        What made life so beautiful that it was not to last forever. It was up to the people to make the most out of their time walking the Earth. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. This is what he admired the most from watching over the Investigation Team and SEES (now the Shadow Operatives), and the up-and-coming Phantom Thieves; seizing the day and making change for the betterment of the world. On a global scale it didn’t seem much, but they were putting their heart and soul into it– even putting their own lives on the line. Doing something for the sake of humanity despite the rest of the world being kept in the shadows of who or what they are… Absolutely selfless.

                        “I can’t… really control what people do. I don’t have the right to micromanage that. Sure; I have the Universe as a power source, but I’m not exactly God either. Who am I to say that I can dictate what is right and what is wrong? People have reasons; some of which are valid, despite crossing a moral compass. I mean, look at me– had I not been influenced by my old teammates in SEES, who knows what would I have done if I found out that Death was inside me for a decade?”

                        The thought of such sent shudders down the spine of the Persona-user, but it was a kind of shudder that makes people even more curious, albeit worried as well– perhaps he may have done a heel turn and joined Strega? Or perhaps he would have gone rogue and disconnected himself from everything in sight, alliances and bonds be damned. The Fall would have happened uninhibited, and the world may not have looked as beautiful as it is now. Thankfully, things went the way they did, and here he is now with a better resolve and a purpose once in the dark being slowly brought into light.

                        “Perhaps… that’s why I was brought back by the Arcana?” Such a mysterious, omnipotent power bringing back its sole owner for one purpose; it has to be it. He may not have the right to be the one to lead all of humanity by the hand, but… “If I can’t guide them, as far as being deity-like goes, maybe I can protect them from the shadows. As far as what I’ve been doing lately, that’s been the top priority– everyone’s safety, that is.” Blood, sweat, tears and everything in between; despite those being shed for a sake he’s bound to get nothing in return, there isn’t much of a reason he can think up of to stop. Not because he has a duty to uphold after the miracle, or because he’s obligated to in return for letting him fall in love with the world again.

                       Sometimes, you don’t need a reason to help, after all. “I don’t care if people don’t see what I do. As long as I can protect the world and the people I love, it’s fine. This wasn’t what I wanted, but I’ll make do.” Somehow.

[mikesdeath0819azulsbirth0320]

Thought it was gone i

Thought i was good like

Happy or something but

I guess i was wrong its like

It was hiding or dormant thought

I wouldnt feel this bs again but i knew all along it would always come back home

Drugs are pointless ive done not every thing but like 70 percent of wats out there and it was a huge waste of time nothing helps but the thing that causes whatever had caused u to set out out of yo mind...

not sane or crazy or insane or physical is what I would hear an i started to believe it.. ive done alot of things these pass few months that im not happy for at all some u kno alot u dont but wen that man came and gave me a letter to show up un court i felf weird idk man like something wasnt right so i kept reading and re-reading an noticed alot about how it was wrote how the (D) and the (G) and a few other letters in different words i noticed at that moment u became my enemy.. and i know my enemy very will ☹️.... u say u know how this feel then why havent u left me be4 u dont know heart ache.. u dont kniw how it feels to watch hear and feel the person u love say ----

NO IM NOT GONNA STOP TALKING TO Him

You dont know how it feels to read a message from the person u planed so much with to say ILY to someone thats not you.

Playing around with that love spell is not good if u dont know what your doing.. but what gates say

Women are smart she was tryna hit him wit that woo tryna catch him she wqs tryna put it in his food tryna trap him maybe underneath the full moon light of passion thinking he'll fall deeply in love..

And the sad part is i still wanted u back why?

Why was it easy for you?

Did I deserve the abuse?

I can't believe I let it

Not what I wanted

See through your bullshit

You're so dramatic

True to your form of

Every consequence

Unintimidated

Til the very end

It'll never happen

Was it all a lie?

(Many motherfuckin'

That's what you do best

Lie That's what you do best

Lie That's what you do best

That's what you (did) best

And please dont bring up my pass to make yo self feel a little better at wat u did because u lied from the very start u tried so hard to keep it away from me and then get mad at me wen i would comfort u on it suga all i wanted was the truth an it was no were in yo mind even to this day u wont tell me the truth... and dont act like I making a big deal because u remember trey right?? I didnt act like this when u did this a few yrs ago because I believed u and didnt have any reason to think otherwise.. but yrs later I wonder if u was telling the truth back then.. all i can say is yes i still love u but unless u can be a man/woman an tell me wat u did this is how our lifes will end.. never wannted that but im thinking you wanted that the whole time.. maybe in the next life time we will get it right idk but... at this moment ima let you do u have fun do yo thang lest see if we can survive a yr wit out each other 😙 and please know the things ive said some i meant but i was angry sad and confused and all you said was how were the dogs when i read that it killed me i wanted to kill my dogs and then put the....(save that for another time) u wouldn't have recognized me if u seen me.. u taught me alot and i will forever love u.. and this is just on my mind stop saying if its meant to be it will be to me that bs cuz itsnt that somewhat of the reason why u left me.. if it happens its cuz that person make it happen right ... its so much we need to talk about but will u talk naw i dont think u will.

Stop running away because u will start to do that with every thing or every one u dont care about.. i bet if that bullshit on fb with that girl would have never happened yo mom still wouldnt know about wat u did because u dont wanna be judged u care sooo much about what other ppl say but why... u compared me to every dude u seen or met and thats not fair.. but u made yo decision so stick with it I guess..

[isaacathom]

also i spent most of last night accidentally trying to figure out the logistics of how the ghost-y things work in the light realm and then accidentally how the fuck a ghost could actually have a child????? because like. surely Losa doesnt actually let that happen. she finds the souls of the dead, gives them a small fragment of her soul, and carts them off. she doesnt let them have children????? for obvious reasons?????? surely ghosts cant have kids. so then how the fuck does alexa bear calar’s child????? she is a ghost?????

which then lead into a fucking rabbit hole.

the ultimate conclusion was that Losa gives fragments of her soul to the dead because otherwise they cannot survive in her realm (with the identical being true of Dalace, much to her dismay). but, well, royals already have god souls. quartaian royals have elra’s soul, and the Lune kingdom royals have xen’s soul. then the southern isles have caliyos. those are the major royal groups. there are technically ‘dalace royals’, which are her cultists, but thats.... a whole different matter.

so if you’re a royal with a tie to any of themajor deities, and you die, you then have TWO god souls. which is hardcore. So Alexa isin fact a minor royal from Lune, who died in an explosion of its capital city alongside her entire royal branch, neatly severed from the royal tree. this partly explains whyCalar has absolutely no idea who she is - she’s just a faceless noble. and she doesn’t exactly disclose this information to him, because she’s somewhat reasonably concerned he’ll treat her differently if he knows she’s part of the old nobility.  So she has a fragment of Xen’s soul.

in addition to this is Calar. Calar is just a peasant. he would have a latent magic, most humans do, but its either non-god originated or excessively diluted. he’s just a dude. however, he’s on a year long expedition in the light realm, which losa has actually consented to. But the light and dark realms are toxic to mortals. and so, in order to keep tabs on him and make sure he doesnt fucking die, losa has loaned part of her soul to calar. so on thetable we have a fragment of Xen’s soul and two fragment’s of Losa’s soul.

which is great and all. but, yknow, alexa died young, and she was a sheltered noble, and calar is a nice young man, annnd before anyone really thinks too hard about potential consequences the two have slept together. and i mean. hey. souls physicall manifest in heaven. something about losa’s soul. i dont know.

and thats fine. its probably not the first time a living person has fucked a ghost. i imagine a lot of people in the more magical eras ventured to the land and tried to have one last night with their dead lovers, to varying degrees of success depending on how nice they were to Losa beforehand. but in those cases, the love making was often the explicit purpose of the trip. theyve come to see their loved ones and have one last night before going back to the mortal realm. its not real bother. go for it! fuck the ghost! and they’ll explain this to losa beforehand. losa goes ‘hey the fuck are you doing in my kingdom’ ‘i wanna fuck my wife one last time’ ‘yea alright just leave before noon tomorrow alright?’ ‘sweet’.

but calar is here for a different reason. and losa did grant him that ability. she said ok, you can stay for a full year, gathering culture and knowledge. but then hegoes and fucks a ghost. a royal ghost. god dammit.

so losa’s kinda peeved when she does find out about it, but she decides its not really that big of an issue - humans fucked ghosts all the time back in her day, yknow - and so everyone moves on with their day.

except a few months later, its obvious that this ghost is pregnant. what the fuck do they do?????????? they go to losa, and she’s dumbfounded. h-how??????? uhhhhh. in essence, alexa having two god souls gave her a higher degree of ‘corporeality’. losa specifically tailors her soul fragments to not confer that sort of trait. but xen’s soul, which alexa also possesses, does not have that feature. so when xen’s mixed with losa’s, they sorta..... messed with the settings. which mean alexa was, for all intents and purposes, a living immortal. and this is true of most royal ghosts, or the ghosts of anyone who has been given more than one god soul for any reason (champions and dalace’s cultists, or ryaris’ wife Evelyn are good examples). and thats usually not an issue, because their partners arent also living immortals. like, theres a slight difference, i guess. even two royal ghosts getting it on probably wouldnt end up having a kid. because theres that slight element missing - being actually alive?? or a desire for kids. or smth like it.

but then calar comes along. a living hunk. unlike most ghost fuckers, he has a fragment of losa’ssoul because he’s staying long enough that the light realm would fuck him up if he didnt. and so you combine the two and suddenly Whoops???? ohdear.

its really uh. ill defined? it probably works on a rose quartz sort of logic. that gods arent naturally designed to bear children, but they CAN. this is true of ryaris, who did the magic bullshit so that she and evelyn could both have kids. and for a weird living immortal ghost, like any of the royal ghosts, that same thing is true, to a degree. but they usually dont know how to consciously manipulate that. alexa definitely do it deliberately. it was.... more a subconscious thing. see, two royal ghosts could fuck, but they likely wouldnt bear children because they know that ghosts Cant. the two both being ghosts means they subconsciously know its impossible, and they basically cock block themselves. everyones working off the logic that ghosts cant have kids, and so no ghosts can have kids. but alexa just sorta.... forgot??? in part because living humans coming to the light realm became exceptionally rare after all the gods decided to leave the realm of man alone, which actually wouldve happened shortly after Alexa died. so Alexa hasn’t actually learned this fact? when it comes to living humans??? because it wasnt explained to her. Losa never told them not to get nasty, and so never warnedthem. thats part of it, too - whenever people in grief came for a last night, Losa would explain some rules. and that kept shit orderly. but calara and alexa didn’t get those rules, and alexa has never heard them before...... so........ you know........ accidentally pull a rose quartz and make yourself capable of bearing a fully living child??????? whoopsies.

its extremely ill defined. which is half the point. like......... its a fucking weird occurence. like oh, GREAT, a fucking ghost is going to give birth to a living child, alright, fantastic, just what we’ve all wanted. losa’s really not into it. but she saysits fine as long as the news doesnt get out. which means basically as soon as its safe to take the kid away, calar must do so. even if it means cutting his year long expedition short, he MUST leave with the child as soon as possible. alexa won’t be punished, per se, but she’s not allowed to tell anyone about it. which really sucks for her, honestly. die in your twenties because your kingdom was taken over by a vengeful fire goddess and then the city gets blown up, then spend 200 years as a ghost before meeting a cute boy, accidentally getting pregnant and then never being allowed to see your child??? shits fucking rough. like, damn. losa probably let her leave to watch him a little, but his signal basically vanished after calar’s house burnt down. and while alexa has seen calar, and calar has explained what happened, neither of them have actually seen Skye since them. Naten’s arrival like 5 years later explains that, to his knowledge, his brother is still alive. but when naten (specifically naten) gets leave to go see if he can actuallyfind him, he finds that he’s run away fromhome and his signal is still dark. so thats nice.

its a big mess forthe whole family. not to mention that after Calar’s house burns down and everyone except Naten+Skye die, Calar rocks up in heaven and wow. its his wife and his girlfriend. his wife pre-deceased him by a few years, and she’d come across a concerned Alexa. and now theyre here for some.... explainations. alexa didnt even know calar had a wife and kids????like she had NO idea. and his wife genuinely assumed thatSkye was an orphan whom Calar had bonded with. so...even though alexa isnt supposed to like. say anything??? she kinda has to. mostly because she’s kind of pissed about not being told. given shes from 200 years ago, the culture was sorta different. cheating? noooo dude. so you feel that.

uhhh tl;dr alexa has two godsouls and accidentaly rose quartz-d a womb because she didn’t really think about it? and thats how skye became one of, if not the only, known light demigod. thanks and goodnight