#this one just ran under my bed and I am stood in the doorway with a can of hairspray wishing I was dead

[vcrnons]

second night in a row there’s been a massive fuck off spider in my bedroom and i’ve been left to fend for myself

[storiesforallfandoms]

making amends ~ bucky barnes;marvel

word count: 2528

request?: no

description: in which she finds out that their three year relationship started by him trying to make amends for his brainwashed past

pairing: bucky barnes x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty angst, use of y/n, mentions of bucky’s winter soldier past, mentions of an incident that left the reader in critical condition

masterlist (one, two, three)

(Y/N) placed the basket of clothes on her and Bucky’s bed. Bucky was away, and she had the day off, so she decided to do a clean of the whole house. She had just finished a load of laundry that had been waiting to be washed for at least two weeks. That included Bucky’s laundry, which he usually did himself but he had also let it pile up the last few weeks.

After folding it, (Y/N) turned to Bucky’s dresser to put his clothes away. When she opened the top drawer, she noticed something tucked away. She pulled it out and found it was a small moleskin journal. She hadn’t seen it before. Before she could consider what it might be for, or why Bucky might be hiding it away, she opened it.

It was a list of names. (Y/N) didn’t recognize any of them, but they were undoubtably written in Bucky’s writing. There were pages of names, some of which were crossed out. (Y/N) knew about Bucky’s past - about being a man out of time who was once a brainwashed weapon for Hydra. She began to wonder if these names were people he once knew. Maybe family of his old friends from the 40s, or whoever was still alive from then.

That seemed like a reasonable explanation, until she saw her name was one of the ones crossed out.

She backed up until her legs collided with the bed. She fell back to a sit, staring long and hard at her own name.

Why am I included in Bucky’s journal? she thought. Was he looking for me? And if so, why?

She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear Bucky coming home. Suddenly, he was stood in the doorway to the bedroom. (Y/N) looked up at him, still with a look of confusion on her face. Bucky had been smiling, but when his eyes fell onto the book, his smile faded. His reaction made her heart sink. She would feel guilty for looking through his stuff under different circumstances, but now all she could think of was what the journal was for.

Bucky broke their silence first, “Where’d you find that?”

“It was in your top drawer,” she replied. Quickly, she added, “I found it while putting the laundry away. I didn’t think...” She trailed off, looking back down at the book. “What is this?”

Bucky ran his hand through his hair and sighed. There was no use in lying about it. He had to come clean eventually. “You know how we’ve talked about my time as the Winter Soldier? All the bad I did while I was under their control?”

She nodded. Of course, how could she ever forget? He had opened up to her very early on in their relationship about what he had gone through under Hydra’s control. He told her because he said he didn’t want to keep secrets from her, and he wanted to give her the opportunity to leave before the relationship got too serious if what he did changed her opinion on him. It was a shock, especially since she was a former SHIELD agent who had heard plenty of stories about the infamous Winter Soldier, but she assured him that her opinion on him hadn’t changed. “You are not that person,” she ahd told him.

“When Shuri deprogrammed me,” he explained, “and when I started going to therapy, my therapist suggested finding a way to make amends for all the bad I did. That book is a list of people I hurt...or-or killed as the Winter Soldier. I’ve met with most of them, or their remaining families, and done whatever I could do to make amends.”

(Y/N) looked at all the names again. All people from Bucky’s past. People he hurt when he didn’t even have control over his own body and mind. The crossed out names were people he felt he had made amends with.

Her name was one of the ones crossed out.

“Why am I here?” she asked. Her voice was so soft he may not have heard it if he didn’t have enhanced hearing.

“Do you remember that mission you went on that resulted in you leaving SHIELD?”

(Y/N) tensed. She remembered, although very slightly. She had some gaps in her memory from that night, but she remembered the most important part: that she had almost died.

The details of the mission were one of the foggy things. All she could remember was being sent to a supposed Hydra base with other SHIELD agents. She had gone off by herself. She was moving down what she thought was an empty hallway. That’s where her memory stopped. Next thing she knew, she had woken up in a hospital bed days later. Fury didn’t tell her many details, just that she was attacked and nearly lost her life. Another agent had luckily found her before it was too late.

Fury had offered to let (Y/N) be off as long as she needed. He assured her that her job would be waiting for her when she was ready to come back. Instead, (Y/N) quit on the spot.

When she finally dared to look up at Bucky, she saw that he was crying. She had been holding back her own emotions, but seeing Bucky break was enough to make her finally break too.

“It was me,” Bucky admitted, his voice breaking. “I did that to you.”

(Y/N)’s hands clutched the journal. She was tempted to rip it to shred and leave the pieces scattered all over the bedroom floor. Their bedroom floor. The bedroom in the house that they had bought together nearly a year ago.

“Was any of it real?”

She didn’t mean to say it out loud. It was a thought that slipped through her filter before she could stop herself. But it was also a question she needed an answer on. She had already spent three years of her life with Bucky, and had planned to spend the rest of it with him, too. But if all of this was just a way for him to “make amends” with her...that would’ve hurt her worse than finding out that the man she loved was the reason she almost died.

Although, that wasn’t Bucky. That’s what she had been telling him since he first told her about the Winter Soldier. He wasn’t in control, he didn’t know what he was doing. He was made to think he was a weapon to be used against anyone Hydra viewed as an enemy, and at that point in time, (Y/N) was the enemy in question.

But it was Bucky who had lied to her for three years. Post-brainwashed Bucky, who knew this whole time that he had hurt her when he was under Hydra’s spell. Who had sought her out to “make amends”, and just so happened to end up in a relationship with her.

Bucky seemed hurt by the question. “Of course! Of course, all of it was real. All of this is real.”

“You say that like it’s an outrageous thing to ask, but how can I not think that maybe this is how you decided to ‘make amends’ with me?”

She was standing now. She didn’t even notice she had stood, but now she was looking Bucky in the eye.

“Three years, Buck,” she continued. “We’ve been together for three years. You had so much time to tell me this, and you never did. Were you ever going to? Or were you just going to let me believe that we met by chance in a grocery store and fell in love and it was all happily ever after?”

“I tried to tell you,” he said. “When I first told you about my past, I wanted to tell you then. That was the whole reason I told you. But then you were being so understanding and kind, and you were making me feel less like a monster, I just...I couldn’t. I thought if I told you then...that you wouldn’t have been as understanding.”

“Bucky, I’m not upset or mad or scared of you because of what happened. I know that wasn’t you. That’s what I’ve been saying for ages, that you’re not the Winter Soldier. What I am upset about is that you didn’t tell me about this amends thing. You didn’t even mention that it was something you did. I had to find out three years into our relationship, which now has me questioning whether or not this whole thing was just a way for you to make amends with me.”

“No! No, (Y/N), it’s not - ”

He reached out for her and she took a step back. They both paused as (Y/N) realized what she did. She had done it out of anger, but the look in Bucky’s eyes told her that he was afraid she was doing it out of fear, too. That one look was enough to make her anger turn to sympathy. She was still angry, and she was sure that anger wasn’t going anywhere, but she could understand Bucky’s hesitance in telling her about the attack. That just wasn’t the issue she was currently having.

“How did you plan to make amends with me?” she asked. “Because if taking me out on that first date was your plan, I’m going to be so upset and hurt - ”

“No, not at all,” he cut her off. “We met ages before I asked you on a date, remember? You said it yourself, it was at the grocery store.”

“Had you been looking for me, though? Was that actually a chance encounter, or did you look for me?”

He hesitated before responded, “I had looked for you. You were one of the few people who were already in New York, so I went looking to find out where you lived and figured out which places you were likely to visit in that area. I didn’t follow you or anything, but I did go to some of those places frequently to try and run into you.”

(Y/N) didn’t think about the slight creepy and stalker way that sounded. She had to remind herself he was saying he didn’t do that to try and start a relationship with her.

“We got to talking, and you told me about the issues you were having in your apartment,” he said. “You said your landlord was a piece of shit and didn’t offer any help whenever you needed it. So, I offered to help. Remember, I was there basically a whole day just fixing whatever issues you had?”

She remembered. She had been hesitant to accept the offer from a strange man she had only met moments before in a grocery store, but her old apartment was basically falling apart. She had done the best she could to fix whatever she knew how, but there were still so many issues, and her landlord kept blowing her off whenever she had talked to him about it. She was desperate. Not to mention she still had her SHIELD training if Bucky had ended up trying to pull anything while he was there.

“That was my amends,” he told her. “I knew it could never measure up to what I did to you, but it was something you needed done and I helped you. I crossed you off the list then and there, and I completely left you alone. I hadn’t thought about you for months after that, until...”

“Until we ran into each other on the street,” she remembered.

It was three or four months after Bucky had fixed up her apartment when she saw a familiar face walking the packed sidewalk of New York. She had been the one to initiate the conversation then. Bucky hadn’t even seemed to notice her until she waved him down and called out his name.

“And you basically begged for my number so we could keep in contact,” he reminded her. “I tried to stay away. I knew it was wrong, sick even, for me to get involved with you at all. But you had these big, pleading eyes, and you wouldn’t really take no for an answer. And then we got to talking, and one thing led to another and I found myself asking you on a date.”

When Bucky stepped towards her, reaching for her again, (Y/N) didn’t pull away. Instead, she let him take her into his arms. He was slow, giving her the option to pull away if she wanted to, and when she didn’t he pulled her all the way to him. She rested her head on his chest as he put his chin on the top of her head.

“I’m so sorry I never told you,” he said. “I know I should’ve. It’s eaten away at me for so long. But at time went on, I just fell more and more in love, and I was scared. I was selfish. You never should’ve had to find out this way.”

(Y/N) sighed. “No, I shouldn’t have. You should’ve told me when things really started to get serious. Especially about the amends stuff.”

“I know. I’m sorry, doll.” He kissed the top of her head, his lips lingering against her hair. “I understand if you need time to process everything. Like I said, I know it was wrong to pursue a relationship after what I did to you - ”

“How many times will I have to remind you that you are not the Winter Soldier?” she asked, pulling away so she could look at him. “Honestly, knowing that doesn’t affect our relationship. I fell in love with Bucky Barnes, the kind man who is carrying such a large burden on his shoulders because of other people who are actually evil. That part of the story isn’t what upsets me. It’s finding out that I was on an amendment list and not knowing how much of this relationship was actually real.”

Bucky cupped her face with his flesh hand, almost like he was afraid of her reaction to his metal arm now that she knew the truth. “All of it is real. I love you so, so much, (Y/N). I can’t imagine my life without you.”

She leaned into his touch. “I love you, too.”

He pulled her in for a kiss, but she pulled away. “You’ll have to add me back to that list.”

He looked at her, confused. “What?”

“After learning about all of this, you have to make a new amendment with me. Say, breakfast in bed? Oh, or maybe that puppy you keep conveniently forgetting we agreed to get?”

He smiled and pulled her to him again. When he kissed her, she didn’t pull away.

“I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll give you the whole world if it proves to you how much I love you.”

(Y/N) giggled. “Let’s start smaller with the puppy instead.”

Bucky chuckled. “Deal. We’ll go to the pound next week.”

“Tomorrow.”

He sighed, resting his forehead against hers. “Fine. Tomorrow.”

[ha-rinrin]

Come to Bed, Jinx

summary: After days of sleepless nights and drowning herself in Silco’s unfinished business, Jinx’s exhaustion is overwhelming. 

wordcount: 1.2k

jinx x f!reader

masterlist

The low hum of the lamp in the room was the only sound breaking the suffocating silence. Papers were scattered across the wooden desk, some crumpled with frustration, others barely touched. Jinx sat there, her legs pulled up into the chair, her head resting heavily on her arms. The soft, pale light cast shadows beneath her eyes—dark crescents born of sleepless nights and relentless work.

You stood in the doorway, watching her. The vibrant energy that once pulsed through her seemed drained. Jinx, who used to crack mischievous smiles even in the worst situations, now sat still. The absence of Silco had hit her hard, harder than she let anyone see. His death had carved a deep wound inside her—a wound she was trying to mend with paperwork and endless hours at his desk.

But no matter how much she buried herself in his unfinished business, you knew that what she really needed wasn’t more work. She needed rest. She needed to let go, even if just for a moment.

You approached slowly, careful not to startle her. “Jinx?” your voice was soft, almost a whisper. She didn’t stir. “Babe, you’ve been at this for days… You need to rest.”

“I can’t.” Her voice cracked slightly, strained from too many sleepless nights. She lifted her head and rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand. “There’s still so much to do. I can’t just stop now…”

You frowned, your heart aching for her. You walked behind her chair and gently placed your hands on her shoulders, feeling the tension knotted beneath her skin. “You need sleep, Jinx,” you whispered, kneading softly at her muscles. “You’re pushing yourself too hard.”

Her shoulders tensed further, but she didn’t pull away. “I can’t stop,” she murmured again, her voice quieter this time. “If I stop… I’ll think about him.”

You knelt beside her chair, lifting a hand to brush away the strands of blue and purple hair that fell over her tired face. You could see the way she clenched her jaw, the tremble in her fingers. Silco’s death had shaken her, robbed her of the one person she had relied on for years. Now, she felt like she had to carry his weight on her own.

“I miss him too,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “But you don’t have to do this alone, Jinx. You don’t have to be strong every second of the day. I’m here… I’ll always be here.”

Jinx let out a shaky breath, her eyes blinking down at you, the purple of her irises glimmering with unshed tears. “I don’t know how to do this anymore…” she confessed, her voice fragile. “He always told me what to do. Now I just… I don’t even know who I am without him.”

You reached out, cupping her face gently in your hands. Her skin felt cool under your touch, and the weight of her grief hung in the air like a storm cloud. “You don’t have to have it all figured out,” you said softly, brushing your thumb across her cheek. “And you don’t have to keep going like this. Silco may be gone, but that doesn’t mean you have to break yourself trying to hold everything together.”

Jinx’s lips quivered, her breath catching in her throat. “I just… I don’t want to lose control. I feel like if I stop, I’ll fall apart.”

“You won’t fall apart,” you whispered, your heart aching for her. “Not with me here. I’ll catch you, I promise.”

Her eyes met yours, shimmering with the kind of vulnerability she rarely let show. Slowly, she nodded, her body slumping further into your touch. “I’m so tired…” she admitted, her voice barely a whisper.

“I know, my love” You ran your fingers through her tangled hair, the familiar blue strands soft between your fingertips. “Come to bed with me. You need rest.”

This time, she didn’t argue. With a small, almost defeated nod, Jinx stood up from the chair, her legs wobbling slightly from exhaustion. You wrapped an arm around her waist, guiding her towards the bed. As you helped her climb under the covers, you slid in beside her, immediately pulling her close.

Jinx curled into you, her head resting on your chest, and you could feel the tension slowly draining from her body. The silence was heavy, but comfortable—a quiet moment where you could just hold her, remind her she wasn’t alone. You ran your hand gently through her short hair, your other arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

“You’re not alone in this,” you murmured into her hair. “I’m here, Jinx. I’ll always be here.”

She didn’t respond for a moment, just let out a shaky breath as her fingers clenched lightly at your shirt. “I miss him so much,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “Everything reminds me of him… It’s like I can’t escape it.”

“I know,” you whispered back, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. “But you don’t have to carry this pain alone. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

Her body trembled slightly, but you could feel her starting to relax into you, the exhaustion finally catching up to her. You moved slightly, hovering over her, pressing your forehead gently against hers. Your fingers traced the curve of her cheek, down to her neck, where you placed a soft kiss against her skin. Jinx shivered beneath you, her breath hitching as you continued trailing kisses along her neck and collarbone.

With each kiss, you poured every ounce of love you had for her, hoping to ease her pain, even if just for a little while. You found a sensitive spot on her neck and lingered there, gently sucking at the skin, leaving a mark. Jinx gasped softly, her hands reaching up to tangle in your hair as you continued, feeling her body relax further beneath your touch.

When you finally pulled back, you saw the faint outline of a hickey on her neck, your mark. Jinx blinked, her eyes half-lidded with exhaustion, but there was a flicker of amusement in them.

“Did you… make a hickey?” she asked, her voice hushed but holding a hint of surprise.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you leaned in close, whispering into her ear, “I did. So you can remember how much I love you.”

Jinx’s tired eyes softened as she stared up at you, and for the first time in days, you saw a faint, almost imperceptible smile tug at the corners of her lips. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. She exhaled a soft, almost relieved sigh, sinking deeper into the mattress as she wrapped her arms around you.

“You’re ridiculous,” she mumbled, but there was no venom in her words, just quiet affection.

“Maybe,” you whispered back, kissing her gently on the lips, a tender, lingering kiss that left no room for doubt. “But you need to know that I’m always going to be here for you. No matter what.”

Jinx didn’t respond, but she didn’t need to. Her body relaxed fully into your embrace, her breathing slowing as sleep finally started to take over. You held her close, your hand resting gently on the mark you’d left on her neck, a reminder of your love—a reminder that she wasn’t alone.

And as she drifted off into sleep, her body soft and pliant in your arms, you stayed awake just a little longer, pressing another kiss to her hair. You would be there through every sleepless night, every painful memory, reminding her of your love in every way you could.

For now, all that mattered was that she was here, with you, and you weren’t going to let go.

[gurugirl]

Can We Start Over | Ch. 5 The Coincidence

Series Summary: From the first day you and Harry meet, your relationship is beyond complicated. A one night stand leads to hurt feelings and then a job opportunity that you simply can't pass up is offered. But can you handle working for a man like him? rich!harry x plus size!reader | enemies to lovers

This is a 5 part series commissioned by @justfattiethings (thank you hon!).

Chapter 5. Summary: Things have changed for you and Harry but when you see him at a meeting, you are taken by surprise. It feels like destiny. Maybe this time things will work out for you two.

A/N: This is the final part to this series! Thank you everyone who stuck with the story and gave it a shot! Appreciate all the love!

Word Count: 12.7k

Warning: 18+ only, angst, smut, fluff

Can We Start Over? masterlist

Mr. Allen was on the phone again. He’d called you into his office but the moment you stepped in he got a call and told you to sit and wait. That it would only be a minute.

And it was only a minute. But then he got another call and now it was 23 minutes later while he was still yammering about some person who was just the worst.

You were used to it, though. Mr. Allen was retired so nothing was a rush for him anymore. Which also meant he held other people up. But waiting for your boss was the least of your worries.

His wife and her ever-changing personality was your biggest concern. She was, to put it mildly, a monster. And to make matters worse, she ran the whole household so you were often seeking her out for things. Mrs. Allen also handled her husband’s schedule and if he was running behind guess who got the blame. That’s right. You did. Every time.

And it was the same thing over and over again. You started your day trying to keep Mr. Allen up to task, failed, got reprimanded and degraded by a nasty human, held back tears and then took a long drive with loud music to clear your head with a quick stop for dinner, probably at a drive-through.

Needless to say, you were already planning on quitting. You’d gotten really lucky with Alfred. And even working with Harry hadn’t been as bad as it was working for Mrs. Allen and her husband. But you tried not to think about Harry if you could help it.

By the time Mr. Allen got off the phone he was running late for his physical therapy appointment. You got him moving along quickly and sent him on his way but not before Mrs. Allen started poking around and making comments under her breath.

“What was that?” You turned to look behind yourself at the wicked witch as she stood near the edge of the foyer.

“He’s late again.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“That is correct.”

She rolled her eyes, “What’s the point of having a personal assistant who can’t even keep the boss on schedule?”

You smiled, holding back your true thoughts, “Well, being as my job description doesn’t entail using physical force on the boss, which is what it would take to get Mr. Allen to keep on time for anything, I’m certain you’ll find that once again, this isn’t my responsibility.”

“Lazy,” she spoke under her breath.

You tilted your head and squinted your eyes at her, “That’s the last thing I am. Now, if you don’t mind, my workday is over. Have a good evening.”

You walked past her to go into your room to pack up your laptop and leave. You’d stay at your own place that night. You hated staying at the Allen’s house. Not only was the room they’d given you a tiny spec of a thing with no windows, no closet, and not even a single rug to cover the cold tile floors but being anywhere near Mrs. Allen made your skin crawl.

“I don’t know why we bother with the room for you,” she was standing in the doorway when you turned around.

“You really didn’t bother much with the room in the first place. That’s why I don’t stay here. My house has a better bed with a big window looking into my backyard. I just feel better in my own bed at night.”

You walked past her and held your breath so as not to inhale her disgusting, pungent perfume. You used to like the scent she wore. But now you loathed it. Whenever you smelled it, even on another woman, it made you queasy. You very much did not like Mrs. Allen.

You turned up the volume on your car radio the moment your front tires hit the road. You always looked forward to going home after work. This day wasn’t as bad as you’d had before and tomorrow you’d do it all over again.

And instead of stopping at a drive-through for fast food, you decided you’d stop at the grocery store and pick up ingredients to actually make something fresh.

Typically you didn’t cook. You didn’t have time for it. Picking up groceries would put you home at almost 8 pm. And then you still needed to cook so you wouldn’t be eating until close to 9 and then you could finally relax with a glass of wine and a good book or something trashy on television. Which was why drive-throughs were your go-to dinner plans. It meant you were home by 7:30 and dinner was already cooked. Not the best use of money and certainly not the healthiest way to live but you wouldn’t be doing it much longer.

You had a meeting to attend with Mr. and Mrs. Allen the following week that piqued your interest. It was for a piece of art that they’d been looking for. And someone found it for them. From an art dealer who was not too far away. You didn’t know for sure but you had a feeling. And you wanted to find out if that feeling was right.

Maybe you were a masochist and just wanted to pour salt onto the wound of your split open heart one more time. Or maybe you did have some hope that it was Harry and that maybe you could try and receive his feelings for you once and for all.

But it’d been just over 9 months since you’d seen him and you were sure he’d moved on by now. There would be no reason for him to still be pining over you the way you were over him. And what were the chances that it was him in the first place? You didn’t know but you needed to find out.

Yeah. You regretted what you’d done. Pushing him away like that. But once you’d done it, it felt like it was too late to go back. Maybe it was your pride. Or that little voice in the back of your head that told you men always leave and they always lie. That anyone that might love you would probably just disappoint you in the end.

But now you were in therapy and talking to someone opened your eyes to your self-sabotaging ways. You had been certain that the way you felt couldn’t be helped. That you were a prisoner to your trauma and all the hurt and that it was for the best. You’d been wrong, though. You could help the way you processed feelings and the way you responded when things got hard. You didn’t have to push away the notion that a man could love you or keep running away from your problems.

After picking up ingredients to make a nice little dinner for yourself you arrived at your cute house.

You loved the place. Loved the neighborhood. You found it a few weeks after you told Harry to leave your apartment. It wasn’t that far from your old place but you felt like it was good enough for a new start. At the time, you were ready to take the plunge. To move on. It was just a rental but it felt like your own place.

Though, not long after moving in you started feeling like getting rid of every trace of Harry had been a bad idea. You missed him. However, you didn’t recognize how you were feeling for him until you began therapy. The more you spoke honestly about everything and without any judgment, you began to peel off layers of yourself that you had unconsciously piled on to protect yourself. But that only wound up making things worse.

And one night, almost six months since you’d seen him, you decided to drive past his big, gated home. You still had the fob to his entry but of course, you wouldn’t use it. You only wanted to just drive past. To your surprise, there was a For Sale sign stuck in the grass in front of the gate.

You parked across from the house and tried to see if there was anything that indicated he’d actually moved out but seeing inside was impossible. You could see the top level of the house and that was really it.

The sinking feeling in your chest that you’d probably never see him again started to settle over you slowly. You’d moved away and blocked him from everything and then deleted his contact and now he was no longer living in the only place you knew where he might be. He was gone.

But then when you helped set up the meeting with the art dealer there was the smallest tinge of hope there. You felt like this might be your last chance. You had just been about to quit when Mrs. Allen gave you the number to an assistant of a dealer who had access to a painting they wanted. You never learned the name of the art dealer, only of the assistant who worked for them.

So you’d stick it out until after the meeting and then you’d give up your hope for ever seeing Harry again if it wasn’t him. And you’d also quit your job once and for all.

Of course, it’s not him. Don’t get your hopes up.

You had to remind yourself of that over and over again. The chances were slim that you would actually be seeing Harry.

Either way, you were looking forward to that meeting. Even if it wasn’t Harry, you’d be free of Mr. and Mrs. Allen once and for all after you quit.

But the days dragged on slowly. The only thing that was good about the time that led up to the meeting was the little secret that you were quitting. It was something you were excited about.

The morning of the meeting you woke up well before your alarm went off. You’d been unable to fall back asleep as you remembered the last time you and Harry slept together. The words he spoke to you that night haunted you every day since, “Want to make you feel so good. Want to make you smile, Y/n. Want to make you happy.”

You sighed. You hoped it was him at the meeting. You hoped there was still some way to salvage what you’d done. Hoped there was still something there. If it was him, that is.

Your entire morning routine had turned into a spa event. You turned on your coffee pot and then got into the shower, getting yourself ready for the possibility of anything and everything. You had selected your outfit days prior and put on a full face of makeup. You were going to look your absolute best.

And no matter what the outcome of the meeting was, today was a good day. Because at the end of it, you’d be a free woman. You’d never again step foot in the Allen house. You took all of your belongings from the spec of a bedroom over a few days so no one would notice. You rarely stayed over anyway so it wasn’t like you needed to keep much there in the first place.

You had a taxi take you to the Allen’s on that day. Because your plan was to quit the moment the painting was purchased and you weren’t going to be going back to their house with them after the meeting just to get your car. You’d get a taxi home. It was quite dramatic but you couldn’t wait to quit. Couldn’t wait to tell Mrs. Allen you were done and then walk off. Only a few more hours.

When you arrived at the Allen’s your first stop was the kitchen to make Mr. Allen’s coffee (skim milk and stevia) and Mrs. Allen’s chai green tea with raw honey. This was always the best part of your day. Things were usually quiet, Mrs. Allen wasn’t raging just yet, and the morning light that came into their gorgeous kitchen felt peaceful. While the coffee was perking you brought Mrs. Allen her tea drink where you knew you’d find her and placed it down on its coaster next to her. As usual, she did not acknowledge your existence or even say thank you.

Mr. Allen was always cordial, however.

“Morning Mr. Allen. Here’s your coffee.”

“Thank you, Y/n. Have you seen my wife this morning?”

You smiled and stood next to his desk, “I just gave her some tea. Why?”

“I think she wanted to make sure we had wire information set up to pay for the painting today. She’s very set on making the purchase. Can you double-check we have everything we need?”

“I’m certain we have everything we need but I’ll definitely do a quick check.”

As you suspected, everything was ready to go. When you confirmed as much you went to find Mrs. Allen to tell her.

“Mr. Allen told me you wanted to make sure the wire instructions were ready and I just wanted to let you know that we’ve got everything we need and it’s all ready to go for when it comes time to pay.”

“Good. Now,” she turned to look at you, “this is a meeting we cannot be late for so I’d appreciate it if you could have everything ready for us so there are no delays. I don’t want any excuses.”

You nodded, stifling the small laugh before it could make it out of your mouth, “Of course, Mrs. Allen.”

But as always, Mr. Allen was dawdling. You did remind him of the meeting but he assured you he was going to be on time. He wasn’t. You weren’t surprised.

When it was time to leave he was still in his office in his slippers on his third cup of coffee talking to his brother about sports.

“I told you this is a meeting we cannot be late for. This is unacceptable!” Mrs. Allen was red in the face as she barked at you. Somehow, she always seemed shocked when her husband held things up. You didn’t know how it was possible that she was so surprised.

You blinked your eyes and sighed, “He doesn’t need to be at the meeting with us. I say we just go. He’ll be fine here by himself.”

She nodded and mumbled under her breath about your incompetence, “Tell him we’re leaving without him. I’m going to get the driver to pull the car around.”

You poked your head into the office and waved at Mr. Allen and he pulled the phone from his ear to look at you with his brows raised. As if he didn’t know what was going on.

“We’re going to leave now for the painting. You can stay behind. No need for you to be there. Okay?”

He smiled at you and nodded before getting back to his call. You knew he didn’t care. This painting wasn’t for him. It was for Mrs. Allen. It was something she’d been wanting. She’d just hang it up alongside the rest of her collection of exotic animal paintings and artwork.

The car ride was silent. Which you preferred. You tried not speaking to Mrs. Allen when you could help it. Luckily she wasn’t interested in having a conversation with you.

And 30 minutes later when you arrived, your mind was swirling with thoughts of what could happen and what probably wouldn’t.

Your nerves were all over the place. If you were about to walk into a room with Harry Styles, being nervous was warranted. You hadn’t seen his handsome face in so long and wanted so badly for it to be him.

It was unlikely. At least that’s what you kept telling yourself. No reason to get your hopes up.

You and Mrs. Allen got out of the car once the driver had let you both out at the front.

It was a public gallery so everyone could just walk in to admire the art. You noticed there were people inside looking at the sculptures and paintings as you followed behind Mrs. Allen toward the desk at the side of the room where a young woman sat.

“Hi. I’m Delia Allen here for a meeting to view the Ghaui piece.”

The young woman smiled widely, “Yes. Of course! Just follow me. We have it moved into a special viewing room just for you.”

If there was ever a moment in your life where you thought that one small step toward a physical room could forever change your life, it was this. What if he was there? What if he wasn’t?

The gallery wasn’t a large space but there were temporary walls placed around the room to act as dividers and a spot for more art to hang. You wove around the walls and into a hallway where the young woman stepped into a room with Mrs. Allen just behind her. You paused for a moment before stepping inside. This was it. It either was or it wasn’t.

Placing your hand on the frame of the door and taking a deep breath you breached the space to enter the viewing room and found that there was no one else inside. It was the painting that Mrs. Allen had been so keen on buying, hung up with lights aimed at it, a table and chairs.

You didn’t know what to expect but it wasn’t this. You imagined someone would be inside the room waiting for you.

“The dealer will be right in. He’s finishing up something with someone else. Five minutes tops.”

The painting was of elephants in an African wildlife scene. It wasn’t your taste but you had to respect Mrs. Allen for her interests. If there was anything about her you could say you liked, it was her love of animals and how much support she’d given African wildlife sanctuaries. She’d also gone on many safaris (without Mr. Allen you learned) and helped fund conservation parks that helped employ people and protect the land and animals. Honestly, when you found out this was her thing you felt like you were looking at a different woman.

She was still a bitch, though.

“I thought this meeting was set up and ready to go, Y/n,” she turned to look at you. As if somehow the dealer running late was your fault.

“It is set and ready. The girl said the dealer would be right in. We just need to wait a couple of minutes.”

You didn’t look at her face as you responded. You were done looking at her face. After this meeting, you’d never have to look at it again.

“Sergi could’ve come if I knew this was going to happen.”

You rolled your eyes, back facing her as you looked over the lines and the paint on the canvas. It was a well-done piece of art.

When the door opened only a moment later you felt your heart stop for a split second, a chill ran down your face, over your shoulders, and through your spine as you slowly turned around when Mrs. Allen spoke, “Finally.”

Your vision grew spotty, like tiny particles floating around and mixing up the scene before you. Fuzzy like a grey screen on a television. You blinked your eyes to clear your sight as you looked at him for the first time in over 9 months. It was him.

And his reaction to you appeared much the same, with him pausing in the doorway, mouth agape, eyes wide.

“Hello? Are you the dealer?” Mrs. Allen was great at ruining a moment.

Harry’s eyes blinked as he shook his head and finally peeled his sight from you to look at the other woman in the room. He cleared his throat, closing the door behind himself, and stepped forward to Mrs. Allen with his hand out, “Yes. I’m the dealer. Harry Styles,” he shook her hand and then shot his eyes back to you, taking in your outfit quickly before moving toward you, his hand outstretched in silence.

You hadn’t moved from your spot next to the painting. You hadn’t closed your mouth or peeped a single word because you couldn’t. And even though you had a feeling that it was him before the meeting ever took place, the surprise and shock you felt was overwhelming.

It was really him. It was Harry. And you couldn’t believe it was him.

You placed your hand in his to shake and the moment was eternity. Your eyes pinned together, palms warm to the touch, searching gazes, and a million little thoughts dancing around your heads. It was real. He was real. You were real. The moment was real.

But of course, as Mrs. Allen tended to do she interrupted the odd reunion and began speaking, “Please go over the details with me. I think I’d like to know a little more and then we can talk price.”

Harry’s adam’s apple bobbed as he released your hand and straightened his posture and he handed a folder to Mrs. Allen and began to go over everything she might want to know.

Your heart was racing and you were unable to listen to anything he said regarding the painting. It all sounded like gibberish to you but you could hear his smooth deep voice as he spoke, and the occasional glance in your direction had your skin sparking in delight.

“Earth to Y/n,” Mrs. Allen waved her hand in front of your face and you slowly drifted from your reverie back to reality and looked at her.

“Jesus, it’s like herding cats with you,” she pointed, “Let’s get this part ready. Open your laptop.”

You reached into your bag and pulled out your laptop, placing it on the table so you could begin the wire payment. You looked from Mrs. Allen to Harry and then back to your screen as the bank sight loaded.

Of course, you had to log in and the internet connection wasn’t as fast as you’d have liked so Mrs. Allen let out an annoyed sigh.

“Always like this with her,” she looked at Harry with her arms crossed, “Slow. Lazy–“

“Are you serious?” Harry sounded perturbed. Aghast.

You looked from him to Mrs. Allen and the look on his face matched the sound of his voice as he looked at her with disdain.

“Of course I am. You don’t know her so you have no idea what–“

“I do actually know her,” he glanced at you softening his gaze. “Don’t speak about her that way or the deal is off.”

You blinked and smiled gently as you opened up the bank wire screen.

“What? You can’t treat me like this. I’m a paying client. I will walk out of here without this painting if you dare–“

“Then leave.” He looked at her with his brows raised in a dare.

She huffed and clutched her purse, “Fine. Just… do the deal, Y/n. I’ll be right back. I need to use the restroom and get some air. When I return I want this to be over with.”

She walked out of the room and slammed the door rudely and Harry stepped in front of the computer as you looked up at him, “Y/n. I can’t believe it’s you. Are you working for her?”

You stood up straight and nodded, “Yeah. It’s a disaster. I’m quitting as soon as this is over. It’s been my plan for a month.”

He smiled, “You’re quitting? Now?”

You nodded again, “Yes. As soon as this deal is complete I’m done.”

“Can I see you? Like, after this? Dinner maybe?”

You sputtered a tiny laugh. It was like music to your ears, “Okay. Why not?”

Harry grinned widely and pointed at the computer, “Let’s get this over with then. Push that payment through and let’s get out of here.”

There it was again, the blurred vision, grey and colored specs floating around you as if you were in the grey screen of a TV. You couldn’t believe it. Perhaps it was only a dream. Perhaps you were about to wake up and it was all going to have been just a wild dream that you’d never recover from.

You called the bank with a smile on your face to begin the wire transfer. Everything was set as you entered the details into the account on your laptop and spoke with the representative.

But of course, there was one thing holding the whole thing up. Mrs. Allen had to be there to verbally give the go-ahead to the man on the phone. You were not authorized.

So when she came back to the room and the payment wasn’t yet completed she was furious, “How can you mess up the simplest things, Y/n?”

“All you need to do is tell the man this wire transfer from your bank to the owner’s is authorized. You’re holding this up. Not her,” Harry spoke.

She pulled the cell phone from you with a sigh and spoke into the receiver as you smiled at Harry.

“There. It’s done.” She handed the phone to you and the transaction was finalized. Emails went out to all the parties involved in the sale with the receipt and you closed your laptop.

“Good. Now, have someone wrap this so I can bring it back without getting scratched.”

Harry nodded, “I’ll have Laira get someone for you and they’ll bring it to your car.”

Mrs. Allen looked at you and snapped her fingers, “You can go wait in the car for me. No need to have you standing around and gawking like an idiot.”

You stuffed your laptop into your bag and looked at Mrs. Allen, “Delia?” You made it a point to call her by her first name, which you knew she hated, “I quit. Working for you has been hell. You’ll go home without me as I’ve already made other arrangements. Tell Mr. Allen it was lovely to work for him. I’ll send him an email explaining why I quit tomorrow. Also, the agency won’t work with you again after I share details and proof of the way you treated me.”

Her mouth dropped open and the look of surprise on her face was quite hilarious as you pushed passed her with Harry following behind you.

You felt exhilarated and your heart was pumping blood through your body and your limbs rapidly as you smiled and made your way to the front of the gallery.

Harry kept in step with you as he waved at the girl at the desk, “Please help Mrs. Allen get the painting wrapped and put into her car. I’m done for the day. Call me if you need anything.”

You felt the warm air hit your cheeks when you stepped outside into the sun with Harry behind you.

“Y/n, I’m still kind of in disbelief that you’re here. I must be dreaming,” he turned toward you with a wide grin.

“I feel the same way. Like I’m just going to wake up and it’s all been a dream.”

“Pinch me,” he put his arm out and pushed his shirt sleeve up to his forearm, displaying the tattoos on his skin.

You laughed and put your thumb and pointer over his skin and gave him a good pinch and he let out a deep breath, “Do it again.”

You couldn’t stop the small chuckle that fell from your lips as you pinched him again and he grabbed the tops of your arms tightly, “Y/n I’ve missed you so much. I’ve wanted to talk to you so many times. I have so much to tell you.”

“Me too, Harry. There’s so much to say.”

He led you to his car and you both got inside. It felt so surreal to be climbing into Harry’s car with him, “Where would like to go eat?” He looked at you from the driver’s seat as he started up his car.

You shook your head, “I don’t know. Don’t care really.”

He nodded, “Yeah I don’t care either. Just as long as I get to go there with you. Okay, we’ll go to this spot I found some months ago. They have great crab cakes.”

When he pulled out to the street you looked at him, “New car then?”

He nodded, “Yeah. The lease came up on the other one and figured something different would be nice. I’ve had this for a few months.”

“And did you move?”

He licked his lips and glanced at you, “Yeah. Not long after you left. A lot has happened since you’ve been gone. I… did a lot of thinking about what I want in life and how I want to live it. The place was too big. Not sustainable for me any longer. Too expensive.”

“Really? That’s surprising.”

He breathed out through his nose as he nodded, “I stopped dealing with stolen items. It was dumb of me to get involved in all that in the first place. I never started off being an art dealer with the idea that I would be wealthy. It began because I genuinely love the art world and discovering new pieces. I lost that somewhere along the way and you leaving like you did remind me of what was important in life. Money is not all there is.”

You were surprised to hear this. It made you wonder what else had changed.

The restaurant was a small, hip-looking spot. You had both arrived before the dinner crowd, it was still a bit early for dinner, but to you, it didn’t matter. You were with Harry again and even though you weren’t quite sure what to expect things were going better than you imagined.

You and Harry were seated at a small round table for two by a big window looking out over the parking lot. It wasn’t fancy but it felt amazing to get face to face with him after all that time.

“Y/n, I hope you don’t mind me saying, but you look incredible. I know I said it already but I really missed you. I hope you and I can keep in touch after this. If that’s something you wanted. It would mean so much to me to be able to see you again.”

You picked at the corner of the laminated menu that had been placed on the table in front of you and looked up at him, “Harry, I missed you a lot too. I regretted the way I ended things. Moving away and blocking you. I thought it was the right thing to do. I deleted every part of you from my life and by the time I realized it was a mistake I didn’t have your contacts anymore,” you shook your head as you looked into his eyes, “I’m sorry I did it that way. I’m sorry for walking away from you.”

Harry reached across the table and put his hand over yours, “I’m glad you did. Y/n, I don’t know if I would have had the kind of self-reflection and epiphany I did if you’d stayed. But you leaving like that made me rethink everything I thought was important. Made me realize that dealing in the black market and jet-setting all over the world to do something that goes against my very core… I hated it. I hated you leaving but it opened my eyes.”

“So you really don’t do any of that anymore?”

He shook his head, “No. Now I bounce around from gallery to gallery to view pieces and check the legitimacy, the provenance. I work for myself still but now I’m not making as much money. Which is fine!” He laughed, dimples digging into his cheeks, “It’s better this way. I sleep better knowing I’m doing things right now.”

“Where do you live now?”

“Like twenty minutes from here. Bought a regular-sized house with a garage and an ugly entryway,” he grinned, “But I love it. I love it because it makes me feel happy. It’s not so much to maintain. Had to let go of all the staff I had but other than that, I haven’t missed the income as much as I thought I would.”

You were impressed with him. You never imagined he’d stop dealing in illegal items because you knew the money was so good.

The waiter stood at your table and you both told him what you’d like to drink. A sparkling water with lemon for you, and a hot black tea for him.

“So you were working for that woman. She’s awful. How long did you stay with her?”

You laughed and shook your head, “I worked for the Allens for just over seven months. Hated every minute of it. She only got worse as time went on. I thought once she got used to me she’d lighten up be she was truly evil. Would just talk down to me and blame me for everything that went wrong.”

“Why did you stay there for so long?”

“At first I stayed hoping it would get better. You know you kind of get into a groove and can look past bullshit and then everyone starts to get used to one another. But that never happened. I tried to stick it out. But then of course I needed the money too. Well, on some level. The security of having a job is nice and the rent at my new house is a lot more than what I paid at my apartment. Figured I’d wait for the right moment. Then about a month ago I found out that Delia wanted to buy this piece of art she’d been wanting and she was going to go through a dealer and I was just about to quit. I really was but,” you shrugged and smiled as you looked down at the menu, “Though it would be funny if maybe you were the dealer,” you brought your eyes back up to him.

He squinted, his brows pulling in as he looked at you, “You continued working for them when you thought maybe I was going to be the dealer on the sale? So you could see me?”

You nodded and smiled, “I mean. Sort of. I really didn’t think it was going to be you but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to just see. So I stuck it out. My plan was to quit the moment the deal was over. That’s why I was saying that at the gallery. It was like, one last thing, just to see if it was you and then I was done working for them.”

Harry laughed and pulled his lips into his mouth, shaking his head in amazement, “I can’t believe you wanted to see me. I was certain you were done and wanted nothing to do with me. I did go back to your apartment one day, maybe like two months later. But you’d already moved out. And you never responded to any of my texts or calls. Figured that was that. What made you want to see me?”

You tried not to feel bad how you ended things with him but it was hard not to, “I really did like you. It was just hard for me to admit how much. And then Brandy, my best friend, talked me into going to therapy. And honestly? Just talking about how I process things and my emotions with someone else helped me a ton. Helped me see how I self-sabotage. Anything that might make me happy, specifically romance, was a big block for me. I didn’t even realize it consciously. I think I knew I pushed people away when I didn’t need to. And I realized I did that with you.”

Harry nodded as he listened and the waiter placed your drinks down on the table before taking your orders for food.

It felt like you had so much to tell him and you could see Harry felt the same with everything he admitted to you. You loved listening to him and watching him as he spoke or the way he gazed at you as you recounted the last 9 months to him.

While so much did happen in those 9 months, you felt comfortable sitting at that small table talking to Harry about it all. Everything felt so familiar and nice with him. It felt like you were both exactly on the same page and this time around maybe you could really have something special with him. If he wanted the same thing as you.

“So you missed me? What did you miss about me?” Harry smirked at you as he took a scoop of the dessert you were both sharing.

“Hmm… I think I liked it when you were nice to me and vulnerable with me. Our late-night kitchen chats. How you took up for me with that one lady. And even today you did it again with Mrs. Allen. I think there were times when I hated you but mostly I liked you. And those things I missed.”

His smirk didn’t fall from his lips and it looked like he was holding back what he wanted to say.

“What? What’s that look?” You pointed your fork at him.

Harry laughed and looked down at the table before putting his eyes back on yours, “You didn’t miss… like my body or something?”

You laughed and grinned at him, “Oh my god, Harry,” you rolled your eyes and shook your head.

“I mean you have to admit, Y/n, we are very good together. Aren’t we? Like… just fit so well me and you.”

You inhaled and let your eyes trail over his features as you tried to keep the grin off your face.

“You’re insane.” You licked your lips.

“No, I’m not. You know it’s true. Tell me you’ve had better with anyone else and I’ll tell you you’re lying. You missed me but you also missed all those dirty little things I did to you.”

“You’re way too confident and cocky still,” you laughed.

“Am I?” His smile was something that always got you. The grin, the dimples, the crinkles at the edge of his eyes.

“What do you want me to say, Harry? That I missed little Styles down there?” You sputtered a laugh.

“Little? Is that what you’d call it?” He placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward closer to you, “You said otherwise when–“

“Anything else for you two?” The waiter broke the tension as Harry shot his eyes up to the man.

“I think we’ll take the check. Thank you.”

You laughed as the server walked away and Harry cocked his head with that smirk still plastered on his face.

The sun was beginning to go down as the check was laid on the table and you insisted on splitting it with Harry. He grumped about you paying anything at all but you weren’t taking no for an answer.

You were surprised you’d been at the restaurant for so long. Hours had gone by but it didn’t feel that long because you two had so much to talk about. So much lost time to make up for.

“So where do you live, Y/n? Should I drop you off at home?”

You bit your lip and shrugged, “Not too far from here. Off Coalfax and the interstate. Do you want to drop me off?”

Harry’s smile softened, “I don’t want to drop you off. No. I want to continue this. I’m not ready for you to disappear again.”

Swallowing you reached your hand toward his and rubbed your fingers over his knuckles, “Then you don’t have to drop me off. Come with me. I’ll invite you in.”

Harry stood up quickly, taking your hand in his as you both walked to the exit and toward his car. You laughed as he pulled you along.

“Coalfax? Just North of here?” He spoke as he started up his car.

“Yeah. Exactly. You’ll take a right on Coalfax. I’ll tell you where to go.”

Harry kept glancing at you and the smile on his face stayed throughout the entire drive. You were sure he was feeling the kind of excitement you had bubbling in your tummy. Still not quite sure of what to expect but nearly certain of what could happen.

Maybe you were jumping in too fast but maybe… just maybe the timing was exactly right. You couldn’t tell but you weren’t going to let yourself overthink it. That wasn’t going to happen with you anymore. You already regretted too much of what had happened with Harry and this time would be different.

Harry parked his car on the street in front of your small house and you both walked up to your door, “You’ve still got the same car,” he noted.

“Yup. Runs well. No payment other than insurance. Cheap maintenance. I love the old thing. Hope I never have to get rid of it.”

Harry followed behind you through your front door and you switched on the light before you felt his hand tugging at yours.

You turned to face him and the reality of everything was clear suddenly. You’d reconnected with Harry. The one man you couldn’t stop thinking about. Couldn’t stop replaying his words to you, couldn’t stop imagining the way he kissed you and took care of you.

“I can’t believe you’re standing here in my living room,” you smiled at him and Harry shook his head.

“I can’t believe I’m here either. I can’t believe I’m looking at you and that you were there today and…” he swallowed as he squeezed your hand, “I don’t want to scare you off, Y/n, but you have no idea how happy I am right now. How this all feels like destiny. Like we were meant to be here right now.”

You laughed through your nose, “I don’t really believe in stuff like that, but it doesn’t kind of feel that way, doesn’t it? Like another chance.”

He nodded, “Another chance. Exactly.”

“Do you want to sit? Or would you like some wine?”

Harry looked around the space of your living room. He hadn’t taken his surroundings in until then as he was too focused on you.

“Maybe a glass of wine. If it’s not too much trouble.”

You grinned, “Of course it’s not. Come. It’s in the kitchen.”

The light flickered on overhead as you flipped the switch and then opened your cabinet to retrieve the bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Y/n, this place is really nice. I like it.” Harry looked around as he spoke.

“I like it too. It’s why I moved here. Felt like home when I walked in to view it for the first time. It’s just a rental but it’s perfect for me.”

You placed the bottle on the counter and handed him a glass of wine.

Harry held his glass up, “Thank you for inviting me in and for humoring me with your kindness.”

You laughed, “Humoring you? Harry, I am fully genuine right now. I wanted to have dinner with you and I wanted you to come into my home. I’m not just being nice. I want you here.”

“I like hearing that.”

You both took a sip of your wine as Harry kept his eyes on you.

It was warm. Searing hot in fact. Harry was gorgeous and he was in your house and he was looking at you with those green eyes that had looked at you so many times before.

“Have you…” He paused as he placed his glass down and cleared his throat, “Have you seen anyone since? Like dated? Are you dating?”

You laughed at the way he fumbled his words. He seemed nervous suddenly, “No. I haven’t.” You placed your own glass down and suddenly felt that flutter of nerves, “And… I’m a little nervous to ask you the same.” You raised your brows at him.

He shook his head, “No.”

You nodded, “Surprised to hear that. But relieved I have to admit.”

“Why are you surprised?”

“Because I thought you’d have your pick. In fact even today when I thought there was a chance I might see you, felt like it was silly because surely you’d moved on and found someone.”

Harry’s brows stitched together, “I had a hard time feeling okay after that day when I left your apartment. Have actually never been so depressed and distraught over anyone before. I couldn’t just move on. Even when I started to feel a little better about it all. I just missed you so much. I know you blocked me on every platform out there. I got the hint when you didn’t text or call back. But I still missed you.”

You smiled, “And you’re not on social media at all. I did look but I kind of felt like if I did find you it wouldn’t have been good for me. I know I could have tried harder to reach out. I think I was a little scared of what I’d find.”

“What did you think you’d find?”

“That you were dating someone. I don’t know.”

The air shifted when Harry brought his hand up to your chin and gently gripped your face, “You’re the only woman I’ve had my mind on all these months. The only one I could ever think about. I don’t want anyone else.”

Your lips parted and you blinked your eyes as you took in his words.

“Do you understand what I mean? I don’t know if you feel the same way about me but just to know that you missed me and want me to be here with you right now means everything to me.”

“I don’t want anyone else either, Harry.”

“Does that mean you want me? I just need to hear it if it’s true, Y/n.”

You gulped and nodded, “Yeah. I do.”

The hand that held your chin released you and moved around to the back of your neck while his other hand landed on your hip and he pressed his lips to yours.

At last. At last.

You closed your eyes and drew your hands up to the back of his neck and moaned as he opened his mouth and you opened yours. Lips winding and smearing and pushing…

It felt like you were looking down at yourself, watching as you kissed Harry in your kitchen. And it was a beautiful sight. The two of you joined, grasping onto the other, hearts thrashing in your chests, bodies alight.

Harry’s grip on your side tightened, his fingers pinching around your clothes. The hand at the back of your neck squeezing and holding you in place as his lips slid against yours

You allowed yourself to be pulled in closer and moved your hand into his curls. You missed his scent. You missed his touch. His warmth. His care.

He parted from the kiss and moved his hand to your jaw, “Can we start over? This time, Y/n, you’re not going to regret it. This is it for us. Understand me?”

His words were almost a threat. Or maybe a promise. Both perhaps.

“Yes, Harry. I’m not going to regret it this time. I promise.”

He nodded, still holding you close, and then softly ghosted his lips over yours, “Because I can’t lose you again. I want this with you.”

You were gonna lose it. Everything was too much and not enough. You wanted him and you wanted to go slow but you wanted to tear his clothes off and feel him all over.

“I want you, Harry,” you breathed out against his lips as you clung to him, “I want this with you.”

You felt the vibration of his moan against your mouth as he dropped his lips to your chin and then along the curve of your jaw. When his lips pressed into the skin on your neck you gasped and hugged him tighter. His mouth drew your flesh in as he sucked a spot and then lowered to the curve of your shoulder and neck, suckling again at the skin where you knew it would be bruised.

“Fuck…” he whispered as he pressed his nose against your jaw, “Where’s your bedroom, Y/n?”

That was easy. The house was small. You led him down the hallway to your bedroom where you turned on your lamp and he began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Take your clothes off.”

You were surprised by his sudden command but you didn’t want to ask questions. The only thing you wanted was him and his hands and his body…

You pulled off your top before unzipping your skirt and kicking it down your legs. Harry’s eyes were dark as he continued taking his clothes off while he watched you undress.

When you were only in your underwear and bra he pointed, “Off. All of it.”

You swallowed and did as he said. Taking your bra off first and then your panties slowly as you used your bed to keep balance.

Harry was left in only his boxer briefs as he stalked toward you like a predator. You’d seen him in action before, you’d seen him a little dominant but this was different. It was like he had something to prove.

“On the bed, Y/n.”

You gave him a curt nod and sat down before scooting back into your bed. He climbed between your legs and moved your thighs apart, “You want this right? You want me? Want us?” He looked at you.

You nodded, “Yes, Harry. I do.”

That seemed like all he needed to know before he finally placed his lips on your chubby thigh, dotting wet kisses down and toward the soft inside near to your crotch and then he switched to the other side, kissing upward gently as he looked at you and then gripped the back of your thighs to push your legs apart, switching his sight from your face to your pussy.

“Y/n I missed everything about you,” he lowered himself, putting his stomach down onto your bed as he held himself over your core, “I know I only had you twice like this but I missed your body. Your smell,” he let go of your left leg as he pressed his fingers onto your mound and slowly dragged them downward, “The way your thighs part and how your skin looks right here,” he pressed a kiss over the spot right next to your labia.

But then he pushed himself up and climbed over you releasing your leg, his hands finding your breasts, “Your perfect tits,” his lips wrapped around your nipple, tongue laving over your sensitive bud and kissing over your soft skin toward your other side, lapping at your plush breasts before dragging his mouth upward to your neck, “Your skin, your voice,” hot peppered kisses up to your jaw until his mouth met yours again.

“Your mouth, this mouth,” he licked against your lips and pushed his mouth against the edge of yours and ran his nose against yours, “You. I missed you. Everything. Your heart and your laugh. I can’t do it again. I can’t go through that again.”

You felt his hands on your face, cupping your cheeks as he looked down at you, “Don’t leave me. Not ever again.”

You shook your head and lifted a hand up to his jaw, “Never. I don’t want to, Harry. I won’t.”

He grinned dreamily at you, his eyes wandering over your features slowly before he lowered himself down your body again, pressing his shoulders to the back of your thighs, and hooked his arms underneath to keep you in place.

The moment you felt his mouth on your core you clenched your eyelids closed and sighed. It had meant so much to you to have him loving on you, touching you, needing you. And Harry was the only man who’d ever worked an orgasm out of you with his mouth.

And even then, his tongue dragging through your pussylips and up to your clit, over and over again in a teasing, slow build it had you unwinding and unfolding for him. You wanted to give yourself to him fully. And that felt so good.

It felt good to trust yourself for once. To allow yourself to trust him. You could push past your feelings of inadequacy and thinking that no one would actually want you for you. Because that was a lie. You had been lying to yourself for so long and even though you knew it was your own hangup, it was hard to get past it. Until now. Because now you weren’t going to undermine yourself anymore. You learned it was okay to question motives but that it was also okay to accept kindness and love where it was offered.

You felt as he applied open-mouthed kisses to your clit and finally began to push over it, the pressure and the slide of his tongue right where you needed him had you moaning. Had you getting his face all wet.

Harry’s mouth and tongue worked at you strategically; slow teases of a gentle lap at your bud and then a harsh suck and flick to make you shiver. Every wet drag of his muscle against your clit drew you closer to your end as you gave in to the feeling.

And just like the other times he’d eaten you out you reached down to push your fingers into his hair and arched your back into him as a signal for him to keep doing exactly what he was doing. And he seemed to understand your nonverbal cue as he dug in and continued lapping and sucking exactly like you liked.

He watched your tits wobble and your body jerk and convulse as he kept his mouth suctioned to your pussy with his tongue wagging and slicking over your puffy clit until he felt you pressing his head down further and you coughed out a loud groan when your thighs started to shake.

His moans into your pussy vibrated through to your guts and it felt like you were going to explode.

“Fuck, Harry!” You were grinding yourself into his mouth and nose as you felt your release snap and you lost control of your volume and the sound of your voice and your limbs as he held you down so he could press broad strokes of his tongue over your pussy back and forth.

Harry closed his eyes and let you use his face and mouth to grind your clit on as you orgasmed. His cock was so hard; just tasting you and hearing your gasps and pleas of need had him spinning in the clouds. It made him happy to hear how good he was making you feel.

And that’s what he wanted the most. Was to make you happy. He wanted your smiles and laughter. He wanted you to enjoy his company and to feel happy with him. He wanted your heart and your soul and everything that made you who you were because he’d already decided he’d give you everything he could. His heart was yours already.

Ever since that day you kicked him out of your apartment, he hadn’t stopped thinking about all the things he did wrong. How childish he’d been with you. He hadn’t meant to fuck up so badly but he would make sure that his old ways were in the past. Now he was yours and he would prove to you that you could trust him.

When you gently released his hair and pushed yourself up to look at him he lifted with a grin, “Felt good?” His mouth and chin were glistening with you.

You laughed and nodded as you watched him slide his underwear down his sturdy thighs and toss them onto the floor. His body was even better than before. You weren’t sure why. Maybe he’d been hitting the gym harder. Or maybe it was just that now things were different. And you were seeing him in a different light. Looking at him in a way that you never had before. But you were still focused on his strong build and dark tattoos as well. That glorious cock, bobbing and heavy was all yours. You loved the way he felt inside of you and how perfect it looked hanging between his thighs like it was.

You sat up and got to your knees to adjust yourself and laid a palm on his thigh as you looked at him and licked your lips. He understood your hint as you moved your hand up toward his cock and he looked down at your fingers before placing his hand over yours, “We’ll do that later. Plenty of time to get to all that. I just want to make love to you, Y/n.”

“But you ate me out. I should at least–“

“No. Later,” he got to his knees and pushed you gently back to your bottom, “You don’t understand. I can’t wait one more second to be inside of you. We’ll have plenty of time for that other stuff but I haven’t had sex since in 9 months. If you put your mouth anywhere near my cock it’s gonna make me come too fast. A little out of practice,” he smiled with a small laugh as you laid your back into the mattress and he settled himself between your legs, hips tucking against yours.

You could feel his rigid, girthy cock slide through your labia as he rolled his hips down and up, wetting his shaft, “Want to fuck you now. Okay?”

You moaned and nodded. It was okay by you. You knew there’d be time for blowjobs later so you didn’t mind having him inside your cunt, stuffing you to the brim like you knew he would. There was plenty of time for all that, now that you weren’t going to be running off from him again.

“Want this cock, honey?” He continued rocking his hips. Sliding himself up and down, the tip of his cock collecting your arousal and pushing it up to your clit.

“Yes, Harry. Please.” You bucked upward to catch him at your entrance but he pressed your hip down and grinned at you playfully.

“Love hearing you say please. Such a good girl for me.”

You groaned when he wouldn’t push in right away, still teasing you with the drag of his thick shaft up and down through your labia and against your clit. The sound of it was lewd. Filthy.

“Please fuck me!” You whined.

Harry paused his motions, keeping his eyes on yours as he reared back and took his base in his palm to line himself up to your hole. He kept one hand on the inside of your thigh as he began to press himself inward slowly, the snap of his bulbous head entering you and pushing through your walls was the first act of confirming everything.

Confirming that this was it. That now you were connected and there was no turning back. That all the promises spoken were sealed.

You both kept your eyes pinned on one another as he bottomed out, balls tucked against your ass with a whimper from his mouth and a deep sigh of relief.

He slowly pulled back before inching his way back into the hilt and repeated his languid strokes as your wet pussy blossomed and opened wide for his girth until he was rocking down into you with a force that had your tits bouncing and harsh breaths punching from your lungs.

Harry’s strong abs clenched as his thighs flexed, working into you, exacting strokes deep into your cunt and skin colliding every time you felt the dip of his crown nudging into your tummy.

He sat back to his haunches, knees bent with the back of your thighs draped over the top of his. He watched as he sunk into you and pulled back to his tip, his shaft glistening and coated in you before he thrust back in until you were gasping and reaching for his arms to keep yourself grounded. To remind yourself of who’s cock was fucking you so good.

“Love this pussy, Y/n. You take me so well. So fucking juicy and plush,” he pounded into you, putting everything he had into it, muscles working and pushing him further and further as you bounced upward on the mattress every time he crashed into you.

“Hear that, baby?” Harry used a hand to squeeze at your tit, “Your bed squeaking, your pussy creamy and wet around me, those desperate whimpers from these pretty lips?” He pushed his hand up to your mouth, pressing his thumb to your bottom lip.

You moaned in response and nodded as you stitched your brows together in bliss.

“That’s right. That’s the sound of me fucking you and we’re gonna do it again and again and again. Yeah?” He spoke through clenched teeth.

You nodded, “Fuck! Yes, Harry!” Your words were punched from your lungs as he continued railing ito you, his hips rocking against yours.

Your whole being was lit up. From your racing mind to your tingling skin and toes, the bones that kept you solid, your pumping heart, and your pussy gripping onto Harry’s fat cock as he slid into you, back and forth, bumping through your inside walls into that hard-to-reach little dip that had you breathless.

Every stroke he gave you put you closer and closer to your second orgasm. The delicious emergence and unraveling of your end made you delirious.

When he leaned himself over you he thrust down harshly, pushing your thighs wider apart, the sound gushy and slick as he drove into you. You could feel his cock sliding through your guts and his pelvis grinding against your clit making you quiver.

“Oh my god…” you panted as you reached up for his shoulders where you could feel the taught muscle keeping himself up and aligned as he fucked into you, your back digging into the mattress underneath.

“Yeah? Feels good huh? Told you we fit together perfectly. Pussy deserves to be filled and stuffed every day. Want you to feel so good, baby…”

“It’s so fucking good,” your whimpered words were shaky and breathy.

“I know baby… So good… gonna give it to you every fucking day like this. Make love to you and treat you like a queen. Be so good to you…” his strained words were breathy as he was feeling the heat with you.

His lips pressed into yours and your brain short-circuited as you fell into that hazy, floaty space of ecstasy and need. Need for Harry and his body and his heart. Need for happiness with him. The need to feel happiness with someone you could trust.

When you sucked on his tongue and he rocked into you, keeping his hips smoothe against yours you began to whine and moan as your orgasm approached.

But then Harry stopped. He pulled back from the kiss and looked down at you with that evil grin you’d seen before and you gasped at the loss. You had just been on the cusp of coming.

He quickly pulled out as his own chest was rising and falling rapidly, his cock swayed and you pushed yourself up to see what was happening before he grabbed your sides and rolled you over to your tummy.

“Harry!” You yelped at the sudden maneuver and felt his palm land harshly on your bum. And then again and again. You jumped and crooned out as he issued your ass a handful of spankings to each side and then heard him moan when he kneaded into the meat of your bottom as if he couldn’t get enough of you. You suddenly felt him pushing your legs apart and fitting himself between them as he forced his hard cock back into your wet pussy, his heavy tip pushing past your small opening and you gasped at the suddenness of it all.

You moaned at the relief of finally having him tucked back inside. He slid through you smoothly, his hands holding your ass cheeks apart as he worked himself in over and over. You had your face smushed into the blankets as you sighed.

His hips rocked against your ass and you could feel him swiveling himself in every time his balls pressed into your skin, grounding himself deep through your tummy. The sounds he was making had you grinning. It felt just as good for him. He needed your body for relief. You were happy to let him get whatever he needed from you.

Slow languid strokes of his long cock, splitting you open with every thrust felt so good. It reminded you of how big he really was. How bulky and long his cock was as it disappeared inside of you and nudged its way into your depths.

“Stick your fingers over your clit, Y/n. Go on baby.”

You gurgled a moan and lifted your hips slightly to allow your right hand access to your pussy. And it was more relief. The feel of it all coming together was perfection. His fat cock taking up every inch of your insides, his tip crashing through your guts, the weight of him behind you and fucking you into the mattress, and your fingers on your clit, slipping and pressing…

Harry gave himself a moment to bask in the view of his cock spreading your vagina apart. He dragged a thumb over the spot where he was fucking into you, feeling himself move in and out, watching your pussy wrapped around him, glistening wet until he felt his balls tightening and constricting and your walls clamping down over him.

He could see your hips moving faster as you ground over your hand to get to your orgasm but then he pulled at your hand, moving your fingers away from your clit and you felt his chest against your back and his lips against the shell of your ear as he mumbled something you couldn’t quite hear.

It caught you off guard. The second denial of your orgasm. You angled your neck to try and turn toward him, “Harry, what?”

You felt him press his cock in hard, hips stilling against your ass, his lips pressed over your ear, “Put your fingers back on your clit but don’t move them til I say.”

In confusion, you slid your hand back to your core and he continued, “Good.”

He reared back and then thrust forward again, “Do you want to come, Y/n? Wanna come on my cock?”

You moaned a yes as you secretly slid a finger across your bud making you shiver.

“Then tell me you’re mine. Say you’re mine, Y/n, and I’ll let you come.”

You had no hesitation in telling him just that, “Harry I’m yours. I’m yours…”

“My girl. That’s right. Rub your pussy, baby. Get yourself off,” his breathy words were warm over your ear and neck as you began to slip your fingers back and forth to get you back to that spot that would have you tipping over the edge.

Then you felt Harry shift behind, his chest no longer pressed into your back as he started pounding into you, “Fucking come, baby. You’re mine now…”

You grinned in elation at his words and the way he sounded totally fucked out himself. Much like the way you were feeling. Like he was out of his mind with lust for you.

Every smack of his hips into your bum had you jolting up and you ground down into your hand, rolling your clit over whatever you could reach when you started to feel that melting, unraveling sensation. The electrical charge that made your pussy quiver and your back arch and your vision go white.

“There it is! Fuck!” Harry’s thrusts were harsh but every stroke felt like a sparking and exhilarating charge going through your body. His tip plunged into your cervix and fingers gripped your bottom harshly as you heard him choke out a loud moan.

“Gonna fill you fill you up baby… fuck… stuff you with my come…”

You could hardly hear your bed creaking and clanking as your ears began to ring and you gushed around Harry, your walls spasming and constricting around him tightly.

He moved into you, gliding in and out until finally his balls squeezed and pumped sperm through his cock directly into your wet hole. He stilled his hips as he whimpered a groan, throwing his neck back with his mouth dropped open, his cock throbbing inside of you, coating your walls with his come.

It seemed to last forever. He moaned and twitched, his body connected and pressed into yours as he drained every bit of himself into you. He pressed inward further, stuffing your pussy with his come, making sure every bit of it seeped through your cunt and soaked your insides.

He hadn’t had sex in 9 months. Jerking himself off didn’t do it like the real thing and when it was with you it was even better. The best. He hadn’t come so hard ever in his life he was certain as his body flushed in heat and his heart thudded wildly in his chest when he crumpled over your back, tucking his arms around you and kissing your neck softly.

You moaned quietly at the feel of him on your back. The post-orgasm glow was never so good before. It felt like you were in a different realm of existence, floating and glowing in bliss.

“You’re mine, Y/n?” He wanted reassurance. Which was understandable after the way you handled things the first time around. But this time was going to be different. You two were starting over again. This time with a better understanding of what the other needed, with a better understanding of yourself and what each of you needed to do to be a good partner. Things were different this time.

Harry pushed himself up and looked down at his sensitive cock still inside of you. He drew himself back and watched as his creamy come leaked from your hole and he pressed himself back inside. You felt him pumping himself in and out shallowly and turned your head to look at him. His eyes were glued to your cunt where he was fucking his come back inside of you. A natural urge he couldn’t deny.

When his eyes found yours and he finally pulled himself out, he helped you roll to your side as he laid next to you, his hand on your cheek and you placed your palm on his chest, “I’m yours, Harry. I was back then too I just didn’t realize it. Couldn’t admit it. But I’m yours.”

You both smiled at one another. His eyes were bright and clear and you could trust him. You knew you could. He made you feel so comfortable about yourself. Made you feel like you could make him happy and that he’d want to stick around for you. That he would make you happy in return.

He took your hand and pressed it harder over his chest, “I’m yours too. I was since the day I first met you. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful, Y/n. And I’m not letting go of you again.”

You grinned and pushed yourself up to his mouth to kiss him. You felt his palm slide down your side and to your bum, as he squeezed you, causing a laugh to puff out from your lips against his.

“Sorry, I love your ass. Feels so good in my hands. Just wanna bite it and stuff my face against it. Can’t help it.”

You rolled your eyes at him still grinning but when he swatted at your bottom your mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me, young lady. When I tell you I love your ass, I fucking mean it.” He gave you another good squeeze to emphasize his words.

So you slid your hand down to his nipple and squeezed at it, “And I love your nipples and these tits,” you laughed.

Harry’s wide grin and dimples were suddenly hidden when he nuzzled his face into your neck and you heard him inhale deeply.

The afterglow with him was something out of a romance novel. It was beautiful and precious. Almost too good to be true.

The sound of a cellphone ringing had both you and Harry lifted out of the sweet moment. He sat up, “It’s me.”

He hopped out of your bed and you watched as he crouched down to his pants where his phone was in his back pocket. His strong back flexing as he pulled it out and then stood up to answer the call.

“Hello?”

You frowned as you watched him disappear into your hallway, still nude. Turning to look at the clock on your side table you noted that it was paste 10 pm. You wondered who was calling at the late hour. Couldn’t have been work. What could be so important that he had to leave your side after he’d just given you the best orgasm of your life?

“I’ll be there! I’m booking a flight as soon as I get off the phone. Yes..”

You could hear him pacing and talking. You picked up most of what he said as you sat silently on your bed waiting for him to return and explain himself.

“I missed you too. I can’t wait to finally meet her. I know. Me too.”

You slid off your bed and pulled a t-shirt from your drawer to put it over your body as he ended the call with an I love you.

Harry walked back into your room with a huge grin, “My sister just had her baby!”

You smiled at him widely as he took three long-legged steps toward you, his cock swaying as he was still completely naked before he wrapped you in a tight hug, “Today is like the best day I’ve ever had. First you,” he kissed your cheek, “Now my sister...”

You laughed when he twirled around with you and then he let go, a sudden look of realization on his face, “Come with me to London. I want everyone to meet you!”

You blinked your eyes and stuttered your words, “Are you serious?”

He grabbed your hands, “Dead serious. Come with me. It’s not like you have to ask off for work. We can go for a couple of weeks. God, it’d be so fun, Y/n. Me and you… My mom’s going to love you.”

Your head was spinning from everything that had happened that day. From the moment Harry walked into that room at the gallery to now having him standing naked in your bedroom asking you to take a trip with him to see his family and his sister’s new baby. But, spinning or not, there was no part of you that would turn down the offer.

“That sounds amazing. I’d love to, Harry.”

He pulled you in for another hug and pressed his face into your neck, “This is going to be so good, Y/n.”

You laughed as he squeezed you tight and then his hands cupped your cheeks, “Now, let’s get you cleaned up, and then we’ll book our flights. Yeah?”

You nodded as your cheeks burned hot when he pressed his mouth to yours again.

It was a funny thing to you. That the first time you had sex with Harry the post-orgasm afterglow was interrupted by a phone call. And this time another phone call had broken the moment too. Except things were not the same as they were then. Now you knew who Harry was. You trusted him and this time everything was going to be different.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this!! xoxo

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[cxrdycxps]

God’s Favorite/Devil’s Choice • Ellie Williams

☢️ religious trauma • child abuse (emotional and physical • mental illness • physical illness • emotional trauma • death ☢️

Main Masterlist • Ellie Williams Masterlist

“Momma?” You asked quietly, watching out the window at the back yard. The winter had hit Jackson hard which left the entirety of the town covered in snow and frost. It looked like someone had forgotten to draw in the details of real life.

“Yes, Baby?” Your mother hummed from her spot in the living room, feet up on the coffee table and book in her hand.

You looked down at the water your hands were in and the dishes you had just washed from dinner. You weren’t sure if you should ask but the question was eating you up inside. “Was all that really true?”

“All what, Baby?” Your mother asked. You released the water from the sink and clambered down from the chair you stood on carefully. You returned the chair to the dining table and moved slowly towards the living room, half hiding in the doorway.

“Am I really going to hell?” You asked her softly and she chuckled, patting the space beside her on the sofa. You joined her, climbing up on the cushion beside her.

“I wish you weren’t.” She sighed, pulling you onto her lap and holding you close. She rocked you slightly as you sniffled. “I’ve been trying to save your soul since birth but some people, well they’re just damned.”

You cried into her chest and she rocked you quietly, shushing you. Her hand ran up and down your back slowly and you had almost drifted to sleep when she tapped your leg. “You can’t sleep yet.”

You blinked at her sleepily before nodding, climbing down off her lap and stumbling towards the little cupboard under the stairs. You were five now. You had to say your prayers for an hour every night before bed.

The door to the closet closed behind you and plunged you into darkness. You didn’t like this part. You were afraid of the dark but your mother told you that you had to pray in here. You had to try and save your soul from hell.

///

“Well this just fucking sucks, doesn’t it?” You winced when Ellie dropped herself at your table, her arms crossed. She looked around and then looked back to you. “Why do you sit on your own? Are you the town freak, am I committing social suicide on my first day of school?”

You didn’t want to tell her. In fact you would die for just one friend that your mother hadn’t run away with her Bible rhetoric but you knew this wouldn’t last long. She was rough, always swearing and she seemed to be more world weary than you. Your mother didn’t like you to know a lot about what went outside the walls of Jackson because it opened your mind to sin.

“You kind of are.” You told her quietly. She looked around again at the other tables before shrugging and picking up her sandwich. “Dina is pretty cool. You could sit with her.”

“I’ve never been cool. I was a loser back in my old school and I met my best friend that way. Don’t want to break my lucky streak now.” She spoke with food in her mouth and grinned at you. You winced but couldn’t help the little laugh you gave her. It would be nice to have a friend for a little while again.

“Have you ever heard of Savage Starlight?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. This launched her into a massive spiel on what had to be the greatest comic book ever made and she informed you about all the characters and story lines she had gotten to read.

“‘Course I don’t know how it ends which is fucking annoying but I suppose that’s my little taste to understand how surviving the outbreak was hard. What about you?” Ellie asked and you blinked at her before shrugging. “Got any hobbies?”

“Not really. I got a lot of chores to do after school. I don’t really get time.” You explained and Ellie scrunched her face up. “It’s just me and Momma. I gotta help her out cause she’s not able to get around that easy.”

“Oh. Was she hurt?” Ellie asked softly and you smiled at her thoughtfulness but shook your head. “What then?”

“She’s getting old, she says. So I have to help. That’s my job as a daughter, you know?” You explained and she seemed to be pondering the thought before shrugging.

“I mean I’m an orphan, so not really. Joel doesn’t make me do chores because he’s boring and likes doing them. Says it reminds him of before.” Ellie explained and you nodded. It made sense.

“Were you always an orphan?” You asked and she nodded, sipping at her water. “My pa died before I was born too.”

“Nice. I don’t actually know if my dad died but I’ve been in an orphanage since basically my birth. Joel is kind of like my dad except not, you know?” Ellie asked and you shook your head. You hadn’t really ever had a dad around so you couldn’t really relate.

“Not really but I’m glad you have someone.” You told her and she smiled brightly at you.

“I think now I have two someone’s.” You shared her smile a little reluctantly. Ellie was nice, you knew that made it hurt more when they didn’t want to be friends anymore.

///

“That girl, with the swearing? Is she in your class?” Your mother asked. You were stood at the sink, staring out at the back yard. Summer had come and the flowers you had planted in the spring were all in bloom. You were rather proud of them.

“Ellie?” You asked for clarification but you knew it could only be her. She had been at the Tipsy Bison with Joel for dinner and she had been swearing up a storm. “The new girl?”

“Yes, the new girl. Don’t be daft on purpose, it doesn’t suit you.” You ducked your head focusing on the warm water your hands were in. “Is she in your class?”

“There’s only one class, Momma.” You sighed and heard the sofa creak as your mother stood from her seat. You counted the foot steps it took for her to get to you.

“That sort of cheek is the reason you’ll never get past the gates of heaven.” Your mother snapped and you winced in preparation when she took a handful of your hair and pulled you towards the cupboard under the stairs. “I don’t know why I even try with you anymore. Get in there.”

The closet had gotten cramped with age but still you were supposed to fit in and pray for at least an hour when your mother got like this. She didn’t pray with you but she did expect you to pray out loud without any pauses or noises of shuffling around.

Your eyes would adjust in a few minutes and you would have to find a cramped position in which you could be comfortable because any sign of stiffness or soreness would be seen as a regret for having prayed and earn you another hour.

“I can’t hear you.” Your voice raised in level and you counted the prayers out on your fingers hoping you didn’t miss one. She wouldn’t tell you until after and you’d have to start all over again. Tears of frustration pricked at your water line and you did your best to keep your voice steady.

You hadn’t been cheeky. You were just answering her question. She was so convinced of your damned soul that she took any chance to try absolve your sins immediately after you had committed them. You weren’t sure why you weren’t able to go a day without sinning but you knew deep down your mother was right. You were awful and you would go to hell because you had been lying to her.

You and Ellie had been friends for weeks now and she had understood when you told her that your mother didn’t like you having friends. She never approached you outside of school when you were with your mother and it had turned into one of the longest friendships you’d ever had without her to get in the way.

So you prayed a little harder for your lies and begged god not to remove the first good thing that had happened to you in years.

///

“Joel is teaching me to play guitar.” Ellie told you quietly. You were supposed to be filling out your math worksheets together but both you and Ellie were very good at math and had finished them in the first five minutes. “He wanted to be a singer when he was younger.”

“Is he any good?” You asked, laughing at the idea of big Joel Miller singing the gospel music your mother played for you when she was in a good mood.

“I think so. He’s good at country at least. I don’t know about all those old pop songs that he sings while he’s washing dishes. He just looks and sounds stupid then.” Ellie told you with a grin and you laughed again.

“He seems really fun. Me and Momma don’t have fun like that.” You told her, hand reaching up to sooth your scalp that had been burning. Four times this week she’d dragged you by your hair to pray.

“I wish you could come over to our house. Joel could make dinner and you could see the garage. I basically live on my own.” Her chest puffed out and you were in awe. You’d like to live on your own you think.

“I wish I could too. I could see all your comics and posters.” You sighed wistfully and she bumped her shoulder against yours.

“I’ll just bring them all in one by one for you to see.” She promised and you smiled brightly at her, swallowing against the almost sick feeling you got in your stomach when Ellie was nice to you.

“I know you’re gonna say this is sappy but you’re my best friend, you know that?” You asked her and she laughed.

“I’m your only friend, Angel.” That nickname seemed like it was gonna stick. Ellie had chosen it when she asked why you always paused before eating your lunch. When you had explained that you were praying she had tagged you with the nickname despite your protests that you were far from an angel.

“You’re still the best.” You promised her and she laughed, resting her head on your shoulder for a minute before straightening up again. Ellie didn’t like saying sappy stuff so she chose to touch you in some way instead, it was how she showed she liked someone. “Yeah, I know. You love me too.”

She laughed and pushed you away but you noticed her cheeks turning pink and you knew you had hit the nail on the head. You were her best friend too. You’d never had that before.

///

“Momma?” You climbed the stairs slowly, surprised to not find your mother in the living room when you got home from school. There was no reply to your call and you found the bathroom door wide open along with your mothers bedroom door.

But yours was shut tightly.

You weren’t sure why your heart was pounding as you stepped closer to the door, your hand reaching for the door knob. You took a deep breath and turned it, pushing the door open.

Your room was destroyed, everything pulled out of place, all of your books open and tattered on the ground. Your dresser drawers were overturned on the ground with your clothes spilled everywhere. “Momma?”

She was sitting on the edge of your bed, just waiting and watching your reaction. You looked around again and then back to her for explanation. “Are you okay?”

Your stomach was sinking and your lungs were constricting. She knew something she shouldn’t know and you only had one secret when it came to your mother. There was only one you couldn’t share. Ellie Williams.

“You’ve been very careful.” Your mother noted casually. Like she wasn’t in the middle of your upturned room, like she hadn’t made this mess. “Not even a trace of her.”

Of course there wasn’t. She had wanted you to bring home some of her comics but you had denied her. All the little notes she had written you were tucked away in your workbook in class. You knew better than to think you had that level of privacy at home. “Trace of who, Momma?”

“Ellie Williams.” Her tone was cold and you stayed in the doorway, not daring to get any closer to her when she was like this. It was a long way down the stairs to the cupboard if she got your hair now.

“I don’t know what you mean, Momma.” Your voice shook and she laughed at you. You didn’t know how your mother made such an expression of joy manage to be the exact opposite, cold and unfeeling.

“If I didn’t know better then I’d believe you.” She said and you swallowed, looking around again like you had been careless enough to forget something. “But when Joel Miller approached me to ask could you have a sleepover, promised it wouldn’t interrupt your chores. I had to pretend to know that you’d been talking to his girl.”

You felt faint. Your hand reached out for the door frame to steady yourself when your knees buckled. You had been so careful but not careful enough.

Your mother lifted her hands and settled a long black belt over her lap, smoothing the leather of it with her index fingers. It was your belt and you suddenly had to fight the urge to vomit.

“I always knew your soul was damned.” She sighed like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. “But I never could’ve guessed to what extent. You’ve broken two commandments.”

“Momma, I didn’t.” You spoke quickly, fear pulsing adrenaline around your body. “I didn’t lie to you. I promise. I never told you that we talked because we sit beside each other in class. We aren’t friends, Momma. She just doesn’t understand that I have other priorities, Momma.”

The words burned you to speak them. It felt a greater sin to forsake Ellie’s friendship than to lie to your mother and when the tears pricked your eyes you knew it to be true. “I’m sorry, Momma.”

“You’ve just lied to me again, haven’t you?” She asked and you nodded slowly. There wasn’t a god on this world or the next that would have you deny Ellie.

“She’s nice to me, Momma. She doesn’t treat me mean the way everyone else does.” You explained through your tears. “I just wanted one friend. Just one.”

“You have one friend. The only friend you need. Jesus Christ who died for your sins.” Your mother stood and walked towards you.

“It’s not a sin to love Ellie, Momma. She’s my best friend.” Your mother froze in place, her eyes narrowed at you. You realized your mistake a second too late. “Not like that, Momma. We’re just friends.”

“Praying ain’t enough for you, child.” She handed over the belt and you stared at it in confusion. You had expected her to hit you with it. Maybe you were too harsh on your mother. “Go on, ten lashes.”

“You want me to-”

“Over your back. You’ll have to take your top of but self flagellation will work better than prayer. Don’t go easy either, if it don’t hurt it ain’t working.” She urged and you stared at her, bile crawling up your throat. “Come on now.”

“Momma, I didn’t do anything wrong.” You sobbed but she didn’t move, watching you with those cold eyes. “Momma.”

“Ten. I’ll count.”

///

“Dude, where the hell were you?” Ellie exclaimed when you took your seat next to her almost four days later. She wrapped an arm around your shoulders and you fought the hiss of pain, leaning into the comfort of her embrace.

You had suffered for this sin, you might as well commit it now.

“Got sick.” You explained and she let you go, looking you over. You knew how you looked. Your eyes were puffy and you were walking with a stiffness that came from being on your knees praying for almost three days straight.

“Damn, you look like hell.” She whispered and you couldn’t help the laugh. Hell was only the half of it. You had been through it all and back again in the last four days and you had made a decision.

You were choosing Ellie. No matter the pain or the punishment, you weren’t going to lose Ellie. You’d rather face an eternity of Hell in the afterlife than choose a moment without her in this one.

“I missed you.” You told her quietly and let your head rest on her shoulder. It pulled at your back but the comfort outweighed the pain you were feeling and so you didn’t move. “I missed you a lot.”

“I missed you too.” Ellie promised quietly, her head resting against yours. “And don’t be mad but Joel totally put his foot in it the other day. He asked you mom why you couldn’t sleep over. He didn’t know it was a secret.”

“Oh.” You tried to keep your voice steady. “She never said anything. Probably thought he had the wrong person.”

“Thats a relief. I didn’t want you to get in trouble over me.” Ellie sighed and the pair of you sat up when class began. Ellie kept her leg firmly against yours though and you were grateful for the comfort it offered.

When lunch came about Mrs Collins called your name and held you back while everyone else went to get food. You made you way up to her desk and she gave you a gentle smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Better.” You promised her. Your mother had told everyone that you had been sick. You weren’t sure why it wasn’t a sin when she lied.

“Your mother told me you got a pretty nasty case of food poisoning?” Mrs Collins asked and you nodded, wondering was this another sin to pray for. “She also made a strange request.”

Your heart dropped and you looked back over your shoulder to where Ellie was waiting for you in the doorway, her back to you both. “Please don’t.”

“You want to tell me why she wouldn’t want you sitting by Ellie?” Mrs Collins asked and you shook your head, tears in your eyes. “If Ellie is hurting you or being mean to you then you can tell me.”

“No. She’s my best friend. Please don’t. I’m not allowed see her outside of school.” You explained in a rush, knowing you shouldn’t be sharing this much.

“Okay. It’s okay.” Mrs Collins insisted and you wiped at your face to dry the tears you didn’t mean to shed. “You and Ellie can stay beside each other. I’ll tell your mother I separated you both.”

///

“Only two weeks left.” You and Ellie were sixteen now, sitting with your backs against the school house. Well, Ellie was sitting back, you were a little more mindful of how the rough stone might hurt.

“What are we going to do then?” Ellie still didn’t understand the extent of your reasoning for why your mother couldn’t see you both being friends. She thought that you were old enough now to just make your own decisions.

“Well we could work together right? Your mom can’t stop that. You have to work in Jackson.” That much was true but you knew Ellie wanted to patrol just like Joel did. She had the urge to always be trying to save the world and you knew your mother wouldn’t allow it.

“You want to patrol. I’ll probably end up a waitress or in the greenhouses.” You sighed and ran a hand over your face. Ellie laughed a little and reached for your hand, tangling your fingers together and you paused, staring at them.

Ellie was turning steadily red but she didn’t let go, she tightened her grip and tugged so you’d turn to look at her. “I do want to patrol. But I want to spend time with you more. I can clean dishes or something if needs be.”

You stared at Ellie, your head tilted slightly as you studied her. She didn’t hide from you but she was blushing fully this time. You stared a second longer.

Oh.

Oh.

“Ellie.” You sighed before laughing. She attempted to free her hand but you held on tighter. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“How?” She exclaimed and it seemed like she had been holding this in for a long time with how it burst out of her. “I know you’re like super religious and most religious people hate gay people and we’re best friends and I don’t want to lose you.”

“Ellie.” You laughed again before reaching out and clasping her face in your hands. You didn’t give her a second, pulling her in and kissing her firmly. “I would walk into hell gladly knowing that I’ve held heaven in my hands.*”

“Oh you’re so fucking gay.” Ellie laughed and kissed you again, her fingers tangling in your hair. Those words should’ve terrified you but you had come to terms with it years ago while you willingly took lashings for punishment. You knew you’d take any form of torture to get to this point.

“I can’t tell anyone. Not yet. My momma will find out but Ellie, I’ve got a plan.” You promised and she smiled, her hand moving from your hair to cup your cheek.

“I haven’t told Joel yet. It’s okay.” She promised, her forehead pressing to yours.

///

You’d had a plan. It had been a good plan. Your best plan yet. Your plan did not factor Ellie and her teeth into account. The small mark she had made, definitely an accident, had given you away. Your mother had always been more than suspicious of Ellie and it seemed that even though a small bruise could be from any number of things it only made sense that it was her when paired with swollen lips and a light in your eyes.

“No.” She held the belt out to you and for the first time you refused it, shaking your head and crossing your arms. Fire burned in your mothers eyes and her jaw clenched.

“You have sins you need to repent for. You’ll burn in hell.” She cautioned and you felt the tears finally fall from your eyes, your bravery slipping away.

“Momma I love her. I’ve been in love with her since before I knew what it was.” You sobbed and she looked even angrier if possible. “How can this be wrong?”

“No child of mine will embarrass me like this before God himself.” Your mother insisted and you lifted your hands in desperation. “I won’t stand for it.”

“What more can you do?” You asked her quietly, desperately. Your love for Ellie wasn’t a flaw and it couldn’t be a sin. You didn’t want to be fixed or cured or healed. Something that felt this pure couldn’t be anything other than a blessing.

“I told you. I won’t have it.” Your mother insisted and you stared at her, unable to understand her threat. “The Lord says suicide is a sin but surely he’d understand I just couldn’t be tainted by your sin.”

“Momma, don’t do that.” You couldn’t help your tears. “It’s not bad. It’s not!”

“It is and you know it. You wouldn’t have hidden it if you weren’t ashamed of your sin.” She told you and you choked back on your sobs. “You knew that you’d never be without sin but to go and do this. I knew since you were born that you were filled with sin but I didn’t think it was cause you were one of them!”

“Momma! You know I can’t change it. I can’t. I love her.” You were choking on the tears and she only shook her head. “You can’t do that, Momma. You can’t.”

“You want me to stay alive then you stop seeing her.”

///

“Hey Angel, you okay?” Ellie asked and you blinked at her before shaking your head.

“I can’t do this. I thought I could but I can’t.” Your back was raw from the amount of repenting you had required the evening before.

“Can’t do what?” Ellie asked, unsure.

“This. Us. I thought I could reconcile it but it’s not something I can allow myself to do.” You told her, tears already flowing down your cheeks.

“What? Allow yourself to what?” Ellie asked. “Be fucking happy?”

“I won’t be happy if I move out of my Momma’s. I’ll never forgive myself for leaving her there.” You told Ellie honestly. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise this before.”

“You can’t be serious.” Ellie stared at you, her face guarded like you were going to laugh and tell her it was a sick joke. “You are serious.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You wanted her to understand but she was too heroic. She would try help if she thought this wasn’t your decision.

“Yeah. So am I for not taking your fucking word for it the first day I met you. I should’ve sat with someone else.”

///

“Saw your girl started patrol today.” You looked up from the soapy water in the sink to where your mother was standing by the back door. You blinked at her, coming out of the daze you had been in. “That ain’t no job for a woman.”

She had been horrible the last few weeks. Telling you all about Ellie’s coming and goings when you refused to leave the house for anything other than work. Washing dishes down at the Bison. Everyone had to do their part, you hated doing yours.

It wasn’t a bad job per se. You could zone out and let muscle memory take over as you scrubbed the plates clean. No one talked to you much on account of your mother and it got you out of the house for a few hours every evening.

The problem was Ellie came to the diner every night with Dina and Jesse. She didn’t linger and you doubted that she even knew you were in the back. But you always found a second to pause when you heard her voice, as familiar to you as your own heartbeat.

“You never had anything to say when any other women go on patrol. Maria’s been doing it since the walls went up.” Your head jerked back with her grip on your hair and her hand pressed to the spot between your shoulder blades causing you to hiss.

“I didn’t ask for your sass.” She warned and you blinked back tears from the pain. “I think you oughta get to praying.”

“I got work, Momma.” You told her and she gripped your hair tighter. Her hand dug into your back, nails pressing deep.

“Better go get the belt then if you’re in such a hurry.” Your mother spat and released your hair. “Every time you talk like that I get reminded that you’re a child of the devil.”

You had a hard time believing that having the devil for a mother would be any different than the Momma you had.

///

It was years before you saw the signs. You had turned twenty one under your mothers watchful glare. She threatened harm on herself if you so much as came home late from work. You wondered why you cared so much that she remained unharmed when you hadn’t been able to lie on your back for years.

It all became clear one night when you followed the noise of her downstairs. She was standing in the kitchen, looking around in confusion. “Baby, what’re you doing up so late?”

She hadn’t called you Baby in years. Not since before you had met Ellie. She claimed that no baby of hers could be full of sin. “Just checking you’re okay, Momma.”

“I’m fine. Just a little lost.” She told you, an airy laugh on her lips. “I can’t find the bathroom.”

She was standing in a puddle.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Dealing with her was both harder and easier after your discovery. Maria let you stay home and care for her when you went to her and explained what was happening. There wasn’t exactly a nursing home you could send her to.

She began to pass through phases, a different version of your mother every time you talked to her. Sometimes you had your Momma back, a sweet woman who told you how pretty you’d grown to be. Sometimes you had your mother, the one who remembered Ellie.

Then one morning, the month you were turning twenty two, you had no mother. She had fallen asleep in her rocking chair and that was where you found her.

You sat with her for a long time. Just staring at her and wondered when it had gotten to the point that you stopped caring about her. Her death didn’t seem to have done anything besides giving you a sense of freedom you had only ever felt once before with Ellie’s lips on yours and her hands in your hair.

You found it within yourself to change her and wash her. She wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to do it. You laid her out in her own bed and then made your way down to the clinic to get a doctor to finally free you from her.

///

You had elected not to have a funeral service for your mother. You hadn’t even attended her burial yourself. No one had liked your mother, not even you. Maria had tried to sympathize with you but you hadn’t let her. She was the only one who tried.

You found yourself moving out of her house and into a small one bedroom cottage Maria had offered up. You returned to the Bison to wash dishes. You lived a boring life without prayers or belts or a constant ache on your scalp from having your hair pulled out by the root.

You could read books and leave the dishes overnight and play music that didn’t mention Jesus. Your back healed up but would forever be scarred but you knew without a doubt that your pain was at an end.

It had ended alongside her heartbeat and you knew for sure it was a bad thing to think but you no longer punished yourself for bad thoughts.

You no longer punished yourself.

///

A knock on the door gave you a pause and you looked up from your book to the living room window but you couldn’t see your front porch from the angle you were sat at. Just the pouring rain that had washed into Jackson a couple of days ago.

You pushed yourself up and answered the door, expecting Maria who came to check up on you monthly to make sure you hadn’t succumbed to madness while being so isolated.

It wasn’t Maria. It was Ellie.

She was soaked, rain water running down her hair and face into her clothes. You couldn’t say anything and chose instead to just stare at her as she left a puddle on your porch.

“Your mom died?” She asked and you marveled in how you had gone from speaking to her every day for almost four years to have gone longer without her words aimed at you.

“She did.” You answered slowly after a few minutes of just the rain for background noise. You continued to stare at her.

“I’m sorry.” You blinked, falling out of your trance at the condolences she offered. You folded your arms across your chest.

“What do you want Ellie?” You didn’t mean to sound harsh but you didn’t want her apologies. You wanted her to leave so you could get on with your quiet life.

“I want to know if she was the reason.” Ellie stopped pretending the second you did, grim determination on her face.

“We were kids, Ellie.” You sighed and she wiped the water off her face and clenched her jaw. “You can’t be still thinking about it.”

“Still thinking about it?” She exclaimed. “I ain’t stopped thinking about you. I’ve spent the last six years wondering if your mom wasn’t around would we be together.”

“Ellie.” You sighed heavily, stepping back from the doorway. She looked panicked for a second and you opened the door wider. “Come in before you catch your death.”

///

You got Ellie clothes to change into and a towel to dry herself off. When she returned to your living room she was wrapped in your clothes, toweling her hair dry. You had lit the small fire in your living room and now you were standing by the window, watching the rain.

“I didn’t know she had died.” Ellie spoke quietly and you looked up at her, releasing a sigh. You took a seat on your sofa, inviting Ellie to sit next to you. “Maria mentioned it in passing while we were at dinner. I came straight over here.”

“She had dementia or Alzheimer’s. One of those. It was bound to happen.” You explained to her and she nodded slowly.

“I know you really loved her.” Ellie sighed and you turned your head to look at her.

“I didn’t. Not really. I had a really tough life with her.” You explained to Ellie and she nodded like she had always known that. She didn’t get to nod like that. She didn’t know the half of it. “I think she had her sickness my whole life. She was batshit insane.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Ellie asked and you shrugged. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t been able to tell anyone. Mostly, you reasoned, you hadn’t known she was sick. How could you tell Ellie that you thought you were the problem? That you were so full of sin even your own mother couldn’t love you?

“It was my problem to deal with.” You told her honestly. “What are you really doing here?”

“To see if your okey. To see if there’s a chance we got it wrong at sixteen.” Ellie turned to face you, drawing her knees up to her chest. You couldn’t look at her.

“We?” You asked, picking at your nail beds and ignoring how close she was, how your body lit up in response.

“Yeah. We. You for calling it all off and me for letting you walk away.” You turned to look at her, incredulous. “I shouldn’t have given up.”

“That’s exactly what you should’ve done. Anything else would’ve made it so much worse.” You told her, pinching the bridge of your nose to ward off the headache you could feel coming.

“I could’ve helped!” Ellie insisted. “I could’ve given you the support you needed.”

“You couldn’t have made me straight!” You yelled, standing up from the sofa. You paced back to the window, staring out at the rain. “I needed to not be like this. You couldn’t have fixed that. She hated me.”

“She was your mother.” Ellie argued and you scoffed, fighting the urge to turn and look at her. “She had to have loved you.”

“She told me she’d kill herself if I went back to you.” You turned then, wanting to see the look in her eyes. The look of disgust because you gave in, you let her control you. But Ellie didn’t look disgusted, she looked horrified. “I came home one evening with swollen lips and this tiny mark on my jaw and she knew what we’d been doing. She told me that if I kept talking about loving you that she’d kill herself to not be stained by my sin.”

“She was sick. She didn’t know what she was-” your hand went to the hem of your T-shirt, pulling it up so that she could see your back. The criss cross of scars that overlapped. Years of torture and abuse. All of it culminating in this. “Angel.”

Ellie breathed that old nickname and you dropped your shirt but she caught it, having moved closer without your knowing. Her fingers ghosted over your skin and her breath came out shaky.

“When did this start?” Ellie asked and you laughed bitterly. “This isn’t a fucking joke. When did it start?”

“The day Joel asked for a sleepover. I told you she couldn’t know. I guess you just didn’t understand why.” She let your shirt drop and you turned around to find yourself face to face with her. “She told me that I was damned at five years of age. She used to make me pray in the dark for hours at a time. When I was twelve she made me hurt myself to repent for the sin of loving you. I never could. I repented for not being sorry instead.”

“I could’ve helped. I could’ve gotten you out.” Ellie sighed, her hand coming up to your cheek. You leaned into her and closed your eyes against the emotions that were welling up. “I could’ve fucking killed her for you.”

“I would’ve taken you up on that. Isn’t the awful?” You asked her but she shook her head, wrapping her arms around you. “I was so relieved when she died.”

“Guess I don’t have to feel bad for feeling the same way. I always knew it was her. Cause this, what’s going on with us, we might’ve been kids but I know what I felt, Angel. This was the real deal.” Ellie whispered against your neck and then you let it happen. You let the tears fall. You held her tightly and you sobbed for everything you could’ve had for the last six years.

///

You were sitting on the sofa, curled up against Ellie’s chest. Her hands softly stroked your hair and you were struck silent by the parallel of your mother doing the exact opposite, hurting you so violently.

“So you gonna cut me loose or keep me this time?” Ellie asked quietly. You looked up at her and without speaking cupped her cheek in your hand and pulled her down to your level. You pressed a sweet kiss to her lips and she smiled. “Not afraid of Hell any more?”

“If loving you leads me to hell then I’ll sit at the table with all the others who gave up the idea of an eternity of heaven for a short time with the true meaning of paradise.”

*Lyra Wren on tiktok

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

See what happens

Dark!yandere William Afton/Steve Raglan x f!reader

Dead dove do not eat - You'll get exactly what's in the tags!

Tags: Punishment, Smut, failed escape attempt, threats, deep throating

Note: this is based off my yandere William Afton headcannons

You woke up, eyes adjusting to the dim light in the room you were in. Your head ached, propping yourself up on your elbows you quickly realized you were inside a bedroom "What the hell?" you frowned. You stood up and walked towards the window, looking outside you noticed it was already night. Suddenly you heard footsteps approach, so you quickly climbed back into bed. The door opened and you saw William standing in the doorway, "Ah, you're awake. How do you feel, bunny?" he asked and slowly walked towards the bed "William? Where am I?!" you asked still feeling lightheaded from whatever had caused your unconciousness.

William chuckled and gave you a lopsided smile "Well, you're here at my house. I brought you here, so we can be together. Forever." his tone was gentle yet there was a hint of possessiveness behind it. "You see... this could have been avoided, but you simply rejected me after I have done so much for you." William sat down on the edge of the bed as you quickly scooted away.

"You kidnapped me because I rejected you?!" You sneered as William's expression went serious, "Oh yes. But that's not all, you rejected my offer to ask you out and walked out of my office like I was a pile of shit."

"Listen William... I'm sorry.." you replied with fake symphatism "That's not gonna work, sweetheart." He chuckled dryly.

"Please let me go William, we can try it fresh.." you begged but William only shook his head, "Not a chance, honey. You belong to me now." William said in a darker tone as you thought about a way out. And without thinking twice, you grabbed a pillow and pretended to place it in your lap when you suddenly slammed the pillow into his face, catching him off guard as you rushed out of the room.

Hearing William curse, you looked around and spotted the staircase to the first floor and quickly went to run down.

"Come back here!" William called out and quickly emerged from the bedroom and went after you "You better come back here!"

He was fast but you had the head start and ran out of his house, the night breeze hit you as adrenaline started to spread through your system. Instead of just running and screaming for help and potentially revealing your position to William, you dashed behind his house as you heard William run out but stopping infront of his door, looking ahead. William knew you didn't ran straight ahead, all neighbours had small fences so he would saw you climbing over them and the only way for you would be straight. He knew you were still here, he didn't see you running, so he slowly made his way behind his house and onto his backyard. You had to think fast - so you hid inside the little hut since the wooden fences he had were too tall for you to climb up.

"You stupid little brat." William muttered under his breath and walked towards the hut. Meanwhile you looked around and found a closet, went in there and sat down and put all the clothes in there ontop of yourself to prevent being seen instantly. As you heard William's footsteps approach you clamped a hand over your mouth to keep quiet.

The door slowly creaked open and William began searching for you "I know you're in here. Just so you know, when I find you, you're about to get it!" he threatened and after a while of searching, he slowly walked towards the closet and put his hand on the doorknob "This is your last chance to come out, and maybe I'll go easy on you..." William opened the door and frowned when he saw you not inside only seeing the pile of clothes in there.

William growled in frustration and just as he was about to turn around to leave, he paused and thought for a moment.

"Thought you would be a sneaky one, didn't you? Well, think again... many people before you have done this trick to escape me..." William set his eyes on the pile of clothes and abruptly reached inside as you started to squirm as he roughly grabbed you by the hair and revealed you as he yanked your head back and leaned down "Gotcha." he grinned as you tried to get his hand off of your head "Fuck you!" you snapped but it only made him chuckle, "You have such a dirty mouth on you, hm?" William then roughly pulled you out by the hair and dragged you back inside his house.

Once back inside the bedroom, he threw you onto the bed and pulled you in a sitting position on the edge "Don't struggle or this will hurt ten times more." he threatened as he let go of your hair and stepped back.

It's only then you catched a glimpse of the bulge in his pants and your eyes widened in realizasion at what's going to happen. William noticed it and grinned "What? Did you really thought I would punish you by locking you inside a room, hm? Oh no, we will sort this out the right way." William slowly unzipped his pants and stepped closer to you "You have no idea how hard you made me when you ran away, sweetheart. And now we are going to do something about your dirty mouth. Open." he ordered and pulled his big cock out. When you didn't open your mouth willingly, he roughly grabbed your hair and yanked your head back. The second your mouth was open, he rammed his almost too big cock into your mouth making you gag at the sudden intrusion.

William groaned and guided your head to suck him off slowly at first, his tip scratched the back of your throat but with each stroke he penetrated your throat deeper, stretching your throat. As your throat contracted around him he stopped and held your movements, "Ahh, fuck- see where your bratty mouth has gotten you?" William then pushed his cock deeper into your throat, your throat felt so stretched you gagged around him but he didn't stop, he held your head still and thrust slowly. His cock then left your mouth to let you breathe for a moment, but William wasn't done with you "Take off your pants." he ordered and you did.

As soon as your pants and panties were off, William spread your legs and his hand went for your pussy and rubbed your clit. You bit your lip and tried to stay quiet, when a small whine escaped and William smirked, "You like this, don't you? Don't worry, I will make sure to fuck any further escape ideas out of you."

William rolled your shirt up, exposing your stomach and positioned himself between your legs and and his tip pressed against your cunt, you hissed at the size of him but William slowly pushed inside you, stretching your tight hole, he groaned deeply "Fuck, you're so deliciously tight around me... I'm going to stretch you so fucking good, honey." he started moving slowly, the size of him was a little painful but after a moment your body adjusted to his almost too big cock as he started moving faster. You tried to stay quiet but every now and then small moans escaped your mouth making William pount your poor little pussy with his big cock.

"I'm about to cum, honey." he warned as his breath became ragged and his movements even more intense, you felt like his cock would explore your guts and a moment later William pulled out of you and let out a loud groan, thick ropes of hot cum spilled over your stomach.

William's cock grew soft again as he leaned over you, "Are you going to try escaping again? Because if you try that shit again, see what happens." William pulled back and left the bedroom, leaving you there with your thoughts.

[forever-rogue]

Hey babes, can you do a Mando x reader where the reader is a bounty hunter and leaves the ship to complete a mission and is only supposed to be gone a few hours but they’re gone all night and Din starts to panic and the next morning they show up slightly injured sand Din completely loses it and he was so scared then feels guilty? (fluff and angst) (sorry this is long!)

AN | This! It’s everything. Enjoy🥰

Warnings | Mention of injury [blood, bruising, cuts - nothing descriptive]

Pairing | Din x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.4k

Masterlist | Din, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm going with you."

"Umm….no?" You looked up at Din and found him in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest as though he had any kind of authority over you. Sitting back on your haunches, you momentarily stopped packing your bag and shook your head, "wait - are you asking me or telling me?"

"Telling you," it was a simple but assertive statement that he clearly wasn't going to expand on. With you a huff, you stood up and walked over to him, stopping just in front of him. He was slightly intimidating but you'd never admit that.

"Well, Djarin, I hate to tell you this, but you are not going with me," you reached up and patted his helmet right where his cheek would be, "I'm going solo."

"It's not safe."

"Nothing we do is safe!" You waved your hand around, gesturing vaguely, "we're bounty hunters."

"I am a bounty hunter," he insisted with a sigh as you rolled your eyes dramatically, "you are an enemy of the new republic."

"I prefer the term pirate," you couldn't help the way the corner of your mouth tugged up in a small smile at his heavy sigh. You'd learned early on that it was a common theme in his daily life, "and, in case you forgot, I'm on the up and up and my charges were cleared. So."

"So," he repeated, almost mocking but lacking any real malice, "you've still got plenty of enemies out there. The government might forget but scorned criminals rarely do."

"You don't think I'm capable of handling myself."

"No," he sighed in exasperation, "no. It's just…dangerous."

"I can handle a little danger, Din Djarin," you insisted softly, annoyed and slightly touched by his concern, "I wasn't the pirate queen for nothing!"

"I don't-" you turned on your heel before he could say anything else to go back to your packing, "why are you being so stubborn?"

"Why are you being so overbearing?" You countered, slipping the last of your supplies and your trusty blaster in your bag. He remained silent and you knew you'd caught him weaving a web he couldn't quite explain, "I'll be okay. Don't worry about me, Din."

He remained silent for a moment and you could practically hear the gears turning in his head. You zipped up the bag and tossed onto your bed. After a few tense moments of silence, he exhaled heavily and gave you one, sharp simple nod, "you'll be back soon."

"A few hours tops," you promised softly, "but you know how these things go. Hostile negotiations and all. I'll do everything in my power to keep it short and sweet."

"Good," he grunted in response, "just watch your mouth. That's always what gets you in trouble."

"It's kind of touching that you care so much," you smiled coquettishly, wishing you could see his expression under the helmet. You just knew that he was probably stammering and blushing, "one might almost think you have feelings, Mandalorian."

"I don't like you like that!" He insisted nervously and you grinned like a loth cat.

"I never said you liked me like that," you teased, "I just said you have feelings, generally speaking. But it's good to know that you definitely don't like me."

And you were beaming as he stood there slowly dying on the inside. 

"Just…be careful."

"I will," you smiled softly, "I'll be back before you know it."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It turned out that you were a liar.

It turned out that Din's feelings ran even deeper than he had anticipated.

Because when you didn't return home by the end of the evening, he was starting to panic. You'd promised it would be a few hours.

A few hours had come and gone. And you weren't back. 

Din was going to wear a path into the floor if he kept pacing as he was. Grogu was on the floor, cooing in concern as he watched his father grow increasingly worried. 

"I know," Din turned to him and sighed, "I know there's no use worrying."

More babbles reached his ears. He listened to them and nodded in understanding, even if he didn't completely understand what his son was saying. He got the general gist.

"I'm sure she's fine," his hands found his hips as he nodded thoughtfully, "but then she should be back."

There were a few beats of silence before Din threw himself onto the couch. If he was going to stress and worry, he might as well be comfortable, right? Truthfully, he was anything but.

He tried to watch a few holos, skipping between channels every few seconds, his mind light-years away. 

"It wouldn't hurt to go and see if I can find her," he wasn't even sure who he was trying to rationalize with. Himself? Who knew at that point. Grogu gurgled at him before waddling over to the couch and climbing on top of it. He clambered slowly into Din's lap and made himself comfortable. He reached up and gently stroked his big green ears before exhaling slowly, "I don't know exactly where but I could just…look around and see?"

Big, inquisitive blinked at him. How was his small, young son going to be the logical one?

"Fine," Din agreed in a haughty tone, "I'll stay here. But if it's much longer I'm going out there to look. But you'll have to stay here."

Grogu's eyes widened as his ears drooped sadly.

"Fine…I'd take you with me."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

At some point with his worrying, Din managed to fall asleep. Granted, it wasn’t a very deep or comfortable sleep; he was half sprawled on the couch, startling with every sound that seemed even remotely out of place. Unfortunately, none of those noises turned out to be you. You, who had managed to worm your way into his heart despite his best efforts; you, that were the bane of his existence and one of the best things in his life. 

Eventually he sat up with a heavy sigh, trying his best not to wake Grogu. At least the little one didn’t seem to have any trouble sleeping. Din slowly stood up and started to pace around the kitchen, debating if a fresh caf would soothe his worries or ramp up his anxiety. On second thought, he decided against it, opting instead to straighten everything up. The small home the two of you shared on Nevarro was generally kept tidy but it was something to keep his worried brain occupied. 

He got so wrapped into what he was doing that he almost - almost - didn’t hear the telltale creak of the front door. Din froze for a moment before he heard your familiar footsteps start to shuffle into the house. Something was off. 

He left the kitchen so fast that he almost ran into you in the hallway, your name rolling off his lips in surprise at the same time as you said his. You laughed nervously as you felt him take you in, mentally counting down the seconds before he realized you were hurt. Not gravely so, but still…you knew DIn and you knew that he’d have a conniption.

“H-hey,” your voice was small and nervous and it was painfully obvious that you were trying to deflect him, “sorry, I’m late. It took a little longer than anticipated.”

“You’re hurt.”

It was even a question, just a simple statement. You shrugged before giving him a noncommittal shrug, “you should see the other guy.”

“I don’t care about the other guy!” his tone took a sharp edge that had your eyes widening in surprise. It was the closest he’d actually gotten to admitting his feelings for you. You blinked a few times before swallowing thickly, “kriff.”

“‘m okay,” you insisted but you could tell that he didn’t believe this for a moment. He was regarding you with intense scrutiny and it made you almost squirm, “Din…please say something.”

“You’re bleeding,” he tried to mask the worry in his voice as he took off his glove and brushed away the blood from the cut on your cheek. You froze at the feeling of his skin on your skin, his touch surprisingly gentle. You’d forgotten all about the knife cuts on your face and shoulder. You had no doubt he could see the blood that had soaked into the fabric of your. He made a small sound of concern and part of you really wanted to jump into his arms and let him hold you, “where else. Show me.”

After a moment of hesitation, you nodded and slowly lifted your top, thankful for the fact that you still had your bra on. Your shoulder was almost done bleeding, but there was a gnarly gash there with the sides already bruising. Your left wrist was sore and bruised, the color radiating into your forearm. You weren’t sure if it was broken or sprained, but you did know it was painful. 

Din sucked in his breath before shaking his head. You hated the churning feeling in your stomach; it was an odd combination of joy that he clearly held some modicum of affection for you, and the other part was upset that he was so worried. His hand rested on your cheek for a  moment before he brushed his knuckles along your jaw. 

“C’mon,” he reached for your hand without waiting for an answer as he gently pulled you to the refresher. You silently sat down on the edge of the tub and watched as he gathered the supplies that you normally used on him. Oh how the tables had turned. He reached you gently before kneeling down, the black T of his visor intently trained on you, “this might hurt a little bit.”

“Okay,” you nodded slightly before closing your eyes, finding yourself leaning into his touch, seeking it out like an animal seeking out the sun’s kiss. You couldn’t hold back the hiss that escaped your lips at the contact of the alcohol he was using to clean your wounds. 

“I know,” he cooed softly, his voice so low and gentle. You bit the inside of your cheek as he tended to your wounds, but you knew that the pain and discomfort was written all over your face, “I know, cyar’ika. You’re doing so well.”

Your heart leapt with affection at his gentle words and touch. You’d known that deep down he was a soft-hearted and kind man but having him display his affections so openly was an entirely different thing. 

It didn’t take the Mandalorian very long to take care of your wounds; years of practice on himself had taught him a thing or two. He just hated the idea that it was happening to you instead of him. He should have gone with you…he shouldn’t have taken no for  an answer. 

When he was done, he patted your knee gently and slowly straightened back up. You looked up at him with a soft smile, “thank you, Din.”

“The cuts will heal just fine,” he held out his hand to help you up. You tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the butterflies in your stomach, “your wrist is sprained. It’s not broken. But you’ll have to take it easy with that hand.”

“Okay,” you felt so small next to him, sheerly from his height and the bulk of his armor. You swallowed thickly, “guess I should have let you come after all.”

“Hmmm,” he hummed quietly, neither agreeing or disagreeing with you, “who did this?”

“I don’t know,” you admittedly honestly, “it was some man, I didn’t get a good look at him. He caught me when I was running out.”

“I’ll go back and find him-”

“But I got what we were looking for,” you reached into your pocket and pulled out the stolen pieces of kyber crystal you had retrieved, “now it can go back to the rightful owner.”

He nodded, taking one of the pieces and admiring it with curiosity. But, like always, his attention shifted back to you, “I’m coming with you next time.”

“I expected nothing less,” you laughed softly, the sound going straight to his heart. It was like every little thing you did had become something he loved, a small piece of his soul. 

The two of you remained silent for a few moments, a shift rifting through the air. Din’s hands found your face as he gently cradled it, studying you intently. Your face felt like it was on fire, and you wanted nothing more than to be able to kiss him. But you couldn’t - wouldn’t - do anything without his permission. 

He brushed his thumb along your bottom lip, causing every fiber of your being to hum in content. 

“Din…” you almost whispered his name and caused gooseflesh to burst all over his skin. It would be so easy for him just to lift up the helmet enough to kiss you. It would be so easy and simple, and he yearned and ached for it. 

“Cyar’ika,” his breathing was stunted and he was so close to doing it, to doing what he’d been dying to do since he realized he’d fallen in love with you. He reached up and started to push the helmet but you grabbed onto his wrist and stopped him. 

“No,” you whispered, surprising both of you. Despite how much you wanted this, you didn’t want him to do anything just because of the intimate moment, “not like this.”

He seemed to know what you meant and he dropped his hand, but nothing before lacing your fingers through his and gently squeezing it. 

Before either of you could say anything else, a soft, gentle babbling caused both of you to look towards the doorway. Grogu was there, happily looking between the two of you. You and DIn took a step apart, and he cleared his throat. 

Grogu padded his way over and plopped down in between the two of you. You’d never been more thankful - or annoyed - for his interruption. 

You met DIn’s gaze and offered him a small smile. 

You knew he was returning it under the helmet. 

It held a small promise of soon.

[simplydannie]

Based off: “The Runaways”

Inspired by and written for @zephyrmars. Based on their ask:

“Remember the "Under Rageous: The Runaways what if" I ask? In No More segment, I wonder what will Velvet's reaction if she went home and finds out that Veneer accidentally killed Cressida and finds out what she did to him throughout the years?”

TRIGGER WARNING ‼️ REFERENCE TO SA && DEATH ⚠️

Velvet comes home to find Cressida lying lifeless on the ground…. The only one around was her brother…. Secrets start pouring out… and Velvet is left horrified.

Velvet was gone…they were sixteen at the time…

Cressida sent her to run some errands. Once Veneer found out, he made sure to lock himself in his room. Fear entered his body like it always did when he was left alone with his aunt. He never told Velvet, never mentioned anything to her. Why would he? Why stress her out? Why worry her? Veneer didn’t want Velvet hating their aunt either…Right now, they were all the family they had, all the family that connected them to their mother…

Veneer tried to justify what Cressida would do to him. He’d still try to paint her in a light, sympathize with her….but as time went by, it was getting harder and harder. Four years of this…he couldn’t anymore. He wanted to run, he wanted to convince his sister to run with him. But where? Where could they go? Back? No, they weren’t going back.

Veneer sat on his bed hugging his knees, tears stinging his eyes. His heart was pounding…waiting for the knock on his door. What would happen if he didn’t open it? Maybe if he just ignored her? Ignored everything….

KNOCK. KNOCK.

Veneer’s body began to tremble…

“Veneer…I know you’re in there. Open the door, darling.” His aunt called out.

“….I’m not feeling too good Cressida.” He lied.

He could hear the conniving tone in her voice, “Well let me see. Let me check.”

“…….no……” He said. Please Velvet, please come home.

“What…What was that?” She demanded.

He hugged his knees tighter, “…..No…. Please just leave me alone.”

“…You’re in my house. You do as I say. And I am telling you to open this door. NOW.” Her tone was growing angrier.

“….Please Aunt Cressida…I don’t ask for anything. I just want to be left alone for once…Please….” Veneer begged. The door began to shake and tremble as she attempted to open it. She turned the knob desperately.

“OPEN THE DOOR!” She screamed.

Veneer lifted his hands and covered his ears. Go away, go away. He begged, he prayed the door wouldn’t open, that it would hold. The door continued to shake and tremble.

“VENEER!”

Go away, go away.

SNAP! CRACK!

Cressida appeared at the doorway, her eyes fuming. Veneer backed away to the corner of his bed.

“Please! Don’t do this anymore!…CRESSIDA STOP PLEASE!”

Velvet reviewed the list that was given to her. Why the hell did she need all this? She hated running errands for her, it would take forever. Velvet never knew why Cressida couldn’t do it herself, why it always had to be her to go and not Veneer. There were a few things on the list Velvet couldn’t find and she knew she would get an earful from her.

She marched up the steps to their home, pulling out the keys, Velvet unlocked the front door.

“Okay I got everything you asked for Aunt Cressida.” She called. There were no noises, no screaming, no nagging from her, “Cressida?” She must have gone out.

“Ven! Ven, did Cressida leave?” She asked aloud….silence….

“Ven?”…..silence still…..

This was strange…to strange…something in her gut began to settle in telling her that this wasn’t normal….that something was off. Setting the things down on the counter, Velvet made her way up the spiraling stairs.

“Ven? Cressida?” She called out. Velvet stood at the foot of the staircase….She tuned into the silence, and that’s when she heard the soft sobs, the cries coming from Veneers room.

Oh my god, she hurt him! That was her automatic thought. Cressida was not shy in beating her brother. Velvet ran straight to his room….The door was broken down…..

…..She gasped….Her hand shooting straight to her mouth….

“Oh….my….god…..”

….Cressida lay on the floor, blood flowing around her body. She turned to face her brother who was hiding under his desk, knees to his chest, tears flowing from his eyes. Velvet ran to him.

“VEN! Are you okay? Oh my god! Who broke in? Are they still here?” She asked. Velvet attempted to pull him from under the desk, but he didn’t budge. He pulled his hands away from her as he kept crying.

“It’s okay. Stay here I’m going to call the cops.”

“No!” He yelled.

“What do you mean no? Someone killed our aunt! They might want to kill us too!” Again she attempted to run off, but Veneer pulled her back.

“VELVET NO!”

“Veneer stop it! We have too-“ She was cut off.

“I didn’t mean to! I-I….I was trying to tell her to stop! I wanted her to stop! She wouldn’t stop! She wouldn’t!” He cried.

Velvet was stunned. She kneeled down to get at eye level with her brother, “What….What are you talking about Ven? Was….was she beating you again?”

Veneer hugged his knees tighter, closer to his chest, “…No….No she wasn’t…”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I can’t Vels….I can’t….I can’t!! I’m sorry! I couldn’t control myself! I wanted her to stop…I wanted her to stop…But she kept touching me…”

“Touching…..” Velvet’s mind wandered. She turned to look at Cressida lifeless body on the ground, then turned to face her brother. He was clawing at his skin, tears falling like a waterfall down his face. He wasn’t bruised…not beaten….But he said “touching” him….

…Oh…my….god….

It hit her, after all these years, it finally hit her. Cressida separating the twins saying how rooming together was child’s play, always sending Velvet off to run errands and never her brother, the way Veneer would stiffen when she put a hand on his shoulder….After all these years, and he never said a word to her..

“….Ven….Why? Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Tears began to fill her own eyes. He finally looked up to her.

“….What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me what she was doing to you from the beginning!” She yelled. She was mad, she wanted to be mad at him, but she was more angry at herself, for never realizing what was going on behind closed doors.

“….She was family….I didn’t want…”

“FAMILY DOESN’T DO THAT TO OTHER FAMILY! SHE WASN’T FAMILY! SHE WAS A MONSTER VENEER! A MONSTER!” She hugged him tightly, her tears dripping onto his shirt. They both cried, their bodies shaking…

…..I’m a horrible sister… The words kept repeating over and over again in her mind. How could she let this happen for so long? How could she not realize what was going on? She clenched her brother tighter. They held each other in silence, in tears. Finally, Velvet grabbed his hands and stood up.

“Let’s go.” She began to pull him.

“Go? Go where?” He asked.

“Let’s just get out of here Veneer!”

“But….but we don’t have anywhere to go! This is our home.”

“No…no it’s not. Not anymore! Not after what she would do to you. Me and you stick together got that! No one separates us. We’ll find somewhere…someone….But as long as we’re together, as long as NO ONE I repeat, NO ONE, splits us apart, we’ll be safe! Do you hear me?” She grasped her brother’s shoulder’s tightly, giving him a small shake. Veneer stared at her wide eyed, nodding his head ever so slightly.

“Okay Vels.”

“Now, let’s go. Let’s go before anyone figures out anything.” She pulled Veneer out of the room, down the stairs, and out of that prison. Once they stepped outside, it was as if a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Velvet held Veneer’s hand tightly….

…..No, this wasn’t going to happen to brother….She’d watch him closely. She would never let him out of her sight again….Never ever again….

[king-of-the-underworld-hades]

You could do It wednesday x male ivar the boneless reader (vikings)

The Boneless. (Male)

Ivar is the 3rd best Vikings Character(in my opinion) Bjorn Ironside 2nd, Ragnar Lothbrok 1st

^ by Abimanyu on pintrest ^ link

The morning light hit your face and caused you to wake from your slumber. You grunted as you sat up, grabbed your legs, and swung your legs over the edge of your bed. Grabbing your walking cane, which you kept by your bed, using it to help you stand. The cane was a black ebony wood with Nordic runes running down it, the handle was the head of a silver raven with sapphires as its eyes. You gritted your teeth and groaned as you stood up stumbling slightly, you inhaled before letting out a sigh as you walked to your bathroom. You leaned on your bathroom counter and looked in the mirror. You had slight bags under your eyes and your neck long hair was slightly disheveled. You changed into your usual street clothes running your hand through your hair you looked in the mirror you heard your dorm room doorknob turning Instinctively you grabbed the one-handed axe that you kept in your bathroom, and you looked out the bathroom doorway and saw the door opening. "It's me," the monotone voice of your girlfriend, Wednesday Addams was heard as you sighed and put down the axe. "You almost ended up with an axe in your head," you said, your Scandinavian accent slightly showing, as she walked to you. She leaned on the bathroom door frame her eyes scanning and studying you. "What's wrong?" She asked in her usual tone of voice. "Noth-" "Don't lie," she said cutting you off. You sighed and ran your hand through your hair once more. "It's just..." "It's Parents Weekend or for you the weekend your brothers visit. And in turn some of the army," she states as she grabs the fold-up chair nearby, opens it, and forces you to sit as she starts to braid your hair. "I'm aware that your relationship with your brothers isn't the best but you can't be as Enid says "A Debby Downer" because of that fact," Wednesday says as you sigh once more. Ever since you two met she was probably the only one who could read you. And when you two started dating she was able to know why you were upset. Whether it be, because it's Parents Weekend or it's the anniversary of your mother's death. Wednesday finishes your braids and walks around the chair to get to the front of you cupping your face. "I am aware it's hard to see your brothers. Especially, Bjorn, but you can't let that affect you, Every. Single. Time," She said looking into your directly into eyes. You nod silently before she leans down and kisses you softly, you kiss her back matching her softness and love. She soon pulled away and helped you to your fest handing you your walking cane. You took it from her hand as she grabbed your free hand before leading you to the Quad.

Most of the day had gone smoothly. You met up with Pugsley, Uncle Fester, Morticia, Gomez, and Uncle Itt once again. You spent most of your day with the Addams Family but then you heard the steps of multiple soldiers coming into the Quad. Many of the families turned to looks as twenty Vikings emerged and lined up shoulder-to-shoulder. Then your three brothers walked down the path. Bjorn at the head, Ubbe to his left, and Hvitserk to his right. You stood at the end of the row... staring... and waiting. All eyes were on you and your brothers and Bjorn was the first to speak. "ᚺᛖᛚᛚᛟ, ᛒᚱᛟᛏᚺᛖᚱ,(Hello, brother)" he spoke in your native tongue. You simply kept staring at him. Not saying a word. Hvitserk was the one to break the silence as he walked past Bjron and grasped your shoulders smiling. "ᛁᛏ'ᛋ ᚷᛟᛟᛞ ᛏᛟ ᛋᛖᛖ ᚤᛟᚢ Y/N,(Its good to see you Y/N)" He said smiling. You smiled back. "You to Hvitserk," You said smiling until Hvitserk moved away leaving Bjron and Ubbe in front of you. "Well. Shall we sit?" You ask motioning to a free table. Bjorn and Ubbe both walked to the table Hvitserk followed soon after patting your shoulder as he passed you the soldiers soon following after. Letting out a sigh you felt the familiar cold hand of Wednesday cup your cheek. You looked at her for a second a small smile gracing your lips. "How was that?" "Good. You're keeping your anger under wraps," She said softly as she grabbed your hand and led you to the table where the other Vikings were. You sat down across from Bjorn, Ubbe, and Hvitserk with Wednesday to your right. Ubbe observed her for a second before turning to you. "ᚹᚺᛟ ᛁᛋ ᛏᚺᛁᛋ?(Who is this?)," He asked you before you could answer Wednesday answered for you. "ᛁ'ᛗ ᚺᛁᛋ ᛚᛟᚡᛖᚱ,(I'm his lover)" Your brother each looked at her surprised as you took a sip of ale.

The first day went fine but the second day was when all things went to shit. While conversing and eating with Wednesday's family you caught sight of someone... a blond blue-eyed woman. Anger surged through your veins as you stood up grabbed a knife and threw it at the woman barely grazing her shoulder before she could react to reach her axe in hand you tried to strike her but Ubbe got in your way stopping your axe and throwing you back with Hvitserk catching you. You tried to break free but both Hvitserk and Wednesday held you back as you screamed. "What the fuck is she doing here!?" The woman was still behind Ubbe staring at you and Bjorn checked the cut you caused. "Lagertha has every right to" "Bullshit!" You yelled cutting him off as you freed yourself from the grasp of your brother and girlfriend. "Y/N you need to forgive her," Ubbe spoke hand on your chest keeping you from getting any closer. "I can never forgive Lagertha for murdering our mother so how you, hm?" You asked as Ubbe shook his head turning away angering you more as you shoved him back. "Our mother! Of course, I'm going to kill her." "You can try," She said looking eyes with yours. "Oh, I will. That I can promise."

Reasonably they all left afterwards to avoid any further issues with you and Lagertha. You were sitting in your room sharpening your axe when Wednesday walked in. "Why did you never tell me Lagertha killed your mother?" She asked anger lacing her voice. "I thought you said no secrets." "It's not something I like to think about... it didn't matter to me because Hvitserk had said she stayed in Kattagat with no reason to leave. I don't know why she came," you said throwing your axe into the target across from your bed. "Doesn't excuse you for not telling me," She said as she grabbed your chin to make you look at her. "When my mother died and I found out it was Lagertha I tried to kill her. And failed. Over and over. My mother was a seer and said she would be cursed if she killed her," you said calmly. "I will kill her," she has no reason to even be although in your head. Wednesday sighed and caressed your cheek. "Let this be the last secret you keep. Understood?" You nodded as she climbed into bed with you putting your head on her chest and began to stroke your hair as your anger subsided.

[faghubby]

Never

"Paul, will you rub my feet?" Cindy pleaded. I made a face and groaned.

"Alright I said reluctantly." She was well aware of my dislike of feet. But as we sat on the couch I rubbed my girlfriends feet. Knowing thst she would owe me. After a few minutes there was a loud knock on the door. It was after 9pm who could that be. I went to check and found my friend Andy drunk on my doorstep. I bought him inside. Andy was going through a rough divorce. His wife of three years had left him. Cindy invited Andy to sir down and got him some water. We sat in the living room. Andy started to break down. I felt very uncomfortable watching my friend cry and found an excuse to leave them alone. Andy crying on Cindy's shoulder. I left them alone for awhile and when I returned Andy drunk was hugging Cindy but also his hands slid over her body. Cindy stopped him gently several times. I stood in the doorway and watched. Cindy saw me watching. The next time Andy hand slid under her shirt she just looked at me. I did nothing but watch. She allowed his hand to cup her breast under her shirt. And watched as I did nothing. Boldened Andy kissed her. His tounge plunged into her mouth and she kissed him back. Watching me the whole time. Andy removed Cindy's tee shirt and kissed her now exposed breasts as Cindy held his head. I adjusted my growing cock in my pants. Cindy smiled and let Andy do whatever he wished.

Cindy reached down and ran her hand over Andy's crotch. She whispered in his ear and led him to the bedroom. I paused then followed. As she closed the door she gave me a look. I stood outside the door and listened to the obvious sounds of thier lovemaking. Injust stood in the hall. Cindy appeared about 30 minutes later. She smiled as she opened the door to find me standing there waiting. She quietly closed the door and pushed me against the wall.

"You wanted that to happen" she said her hand reaching into my sweat pants. I just moaned as she grasped my throbbing cock.

"He is much bigger then you" she giggled. "I think you need to sleep on the couch tonight" she told me. As she removed her hand and let me go. As she walked into the kitchen I noticed she only wore her tee shirt. She had not even put her underwear back on. I grabbed her and pulled her close kissing her.

"Like that?" She asked "I sucked his cock real good" she told me. She just laughed and got a glass of water before she returned to Andy and our bed. I did sleep on the couch that night. I woke early and made breakfast. Andy appeared first. He was hung over.

"Paul, um I mean" he mumbled.

"Don't worry about him, I think he really liked it" Cindy said as she walked up behind him she kissed him. Right in front of me. Then walked over and reached into my pants again grasping my erection.

"Didn't you?" She asked I just looked at the floor and nodded. We all ate and as they finished Cindy looked at Andy.

"I need that big dick one more time" she said grabbing his hand. Andy looked at me and I just nodded. He rushed after her. Again I heard the animal sounds of there lovemaking. I did the dishes thinking Cindy and I had never had sex so ,any times in such a short span. I mowed the grass. And spent time looking at cheating wife pornnon the internet. Before The bedroom door opened again. Andy came out showered and dressed and just left. It was already after 3pm. I was so horny I had wanted to play with myself but had stopped myself. I found CIndy naked wet from a shower changing the sheets. I rushed in to help her. Cindy watched as I made the bed. She had stopped helping and just let me do it. When I finished she pulled my pants and briefs down in one motion. I was still hard as a rock.

"I am really tired, but go ahead jerk off" Cindy said sitting on a chair she spread her legs. "Andy fucked me so good baby" she told me. As I started to jerk off. She pinched her niplles and crossed her legs. As she she told me everything they had done. How big he was, how she had made her cum so many times. Then as if a light bulb went off.

"You can rub my feet" she offered. She stood and pushed me on the bed. Then laid down offering me her feet. Her foot pushing my hand away from me continuing to jerk off. She handed me lotion and I rubbed her feet. As I rubbed one she raised her other to my mouth. This was too much I turned my head. But she looked at me disappointed and I turned back and sucked her toes.

"Kiss it show me how much you love me" she teased switching feet. I focused on the foot in my mouth. The other rubbed against my erection. I found myself dry humping against her foot. I came all over her foot as she pushed her other foot in and out of my mouth.

"Quick a towel or you will send the rest of the night doing laundry" she told me urgently. I grabbed her towel off the floor before any of my mess could spill the the bedspread. I cleaned her and myself up. Cindy pulled my close and cuddled.

"I like to see Andy again" she said "but it has to be your decision" I got hard again. I tried to initiate sex.

"Paul, I am not a slut, as long as I am fucking Andy we can't" Cindy explained. She raised her knee alittle. "Put the towel down you can hump my leg" Cindy told me. I stopped but kept kissing and touching her. Before she pushed me off and went to start dinner. For the next week Cindy kept me denied offering me her feet and leg to hump, suck and massage. But I resisted. It was all she was willing to give me. Till Friday rolled around.

"Be nice if you invited Andy over tonight" Cindy said over breakfast. I signed. "I have seen what you been watching on your phone." Cindy told me. I blushed I had been watching alot of cuckold porn. And Cindy knew the password to my phone. Cindy looked up at me.

"Would you like to jerk off while we talk?" Cindy asked with a smile.

"You been doing that alot haven't you?" Cindy continued.

"Do you want me to Cuckold you?" Cindy asked her foot slid between my legs pressing against my raging erection. "Call Andy" I picked up my phone.

"Andy could you come by today?" I spoke into the phone.

"Tell him why?" Cindy smiled pressing her foot harder.

"Cindy needs you to fuck her again" I moaned. I heard Andy laughing then just said "be by around 6" he said and hung up. Cindy got up and sat in front of me on the table her legs spread in front of me.

"Now, what else would you like, want to eat my dirty pussy after Andy is finished?" She asked I just shook my head. She raised her foot to my mouth and I sucked her toes.

"Yeah that's what you like to suck my toes" she laughed. She knew I didn't but I couldn't say noanymore, i did'nt want too,

Andy arrived right after dinner. And immediately took Cindy to the bedroom, where they didn't come out except for a drink or a snack until morning. Andy again left in the morning. I found Cindy naked on the bed. She had laid down a towel.

"Strip and come get your relief" she told me. I stripped and without even trying for anything thing else I dry humped her leg as I sucked on her feet. As I came I collapsed on top of her. My head between her breasts. I kissed her. She didn't stop me rather encouraged so I licked and sucked her tits.

"Andy came all over them this morning, can you tell?" She asked. I was horrified. But she pushed my head down towards her stomach. I kept kissing and licking. I paused just above her pussy.

"It's okay our secret" Cindy said rubbing my head. I lowered my face to her pussy. I instantly got a glob of Andy's cum on my tounge. I jumped back. Cindy giggled and gentle pulled me back to her.

"Just try" she encouraged me. But I resisted

"Okay taste yours tell me who's is better" she raised her leg. I stuck out my tounge and tasted my own.

"Andy's isn't it?" She smiled I nodded in agreement.

Andy spent at least one night a week fucking Cindy. Cindy found new ways to excite me about it. Once leaving the door open so I could listen. She had me massage her feet while she sucked Andy's cock as they watched a movie. But I wasn't allowed to look in thier direction. After two months i stopped even trying to have sex with her. Andy took her away for a romantic weekend. Cindy was so pleased with me when she got home she let me dry hump her ass.

"Do you touch yourself when I am not here?" Cindy asked.

"Sometimes" I admitted.

"Why? What are you looking at when you touch yourself?" Cindy asked. She picked up my phone not waiting for an answer. She went to my history and the first pic that popped up was a man bent over a woman's lap being spanked. With a butt plug in his ass. She started to stroke me. My penis growing in her hand.

"This what you want?" Cindy asked. I didn't answer she kept going.

"Do you want to be punished?" She asked.

"I can't please you" I moaned.

"But you do, just because you can't touch my pussy" she laughed. But you can rub my feet" Cindy told me. "I can't have you touching yourself anymore" Cindy told me. "You need to promise me you won't touch yourself with out my say so." Cindy told me. "If I do this will it help you to not touch yourself?" Cindy showed me another pic on my phone of a woman pegging a man. With a strapon.

"I was just really horny" I tried to explain.

"Grab me the lube from that drawer" Cindy told me. I reached into her nightstand.

"Andy uses that to fuck my ass" Cindy smiled "you never fucked my ass did you" Cindy teased. I handed her the lube. She patted her lap. I laid across her thighs. She held my erection between her legs. She spread lube on her fingers. Then on my ass. She worked a finger into my ass.

"I can't believe you are the same man I married" Cindy teased as she slid her finger in and out of my ass. She worked in a second finger into my hole. "Is this what you deserve" Cindy asked. I felt humiliated. Then her fingers turned a bit and I felt a shot of pleasure race thru me. A moan escaped my lips. Cindy moved her fingers again. And again i jerked and moaned.

"Someone is enjoying this" Cindy laughed and continued to move her fingers. She rubbed against my prostate a few more times just teasing. Then removed her fingers and smacked my ass.

"I would never have thought months ago that you would prefer me to finger your ass and let your friend fuck me then being such a pervert." Cindy told me. "You will never put your little dick in anything ever again. And you love that don't you?" Cindy teased.

Something happened between Cindy and Andy. But that just let Cindy start to seek out other men. She took pleasure in telling me just enough to get my imagination running wild. She also liked giving me taste of thier sperm. Always asking who's tasted best. Or tease me about liking my ass played with. It was two years later Cindy informed me we where going to have a baby. And I had some hard decisions to make. Did I want to raise another man's child, or move aside and let him marry her. Did I want to be a nurse maid. And let a real man raise the child. After beating around the bush Cindy laid it out.

"I want to lock you in chastity and make you my sissy house husband. You would stay home with the kids. And I would find them a real man to be thier father." She told me. Handing me a velvet bag with a chastity cage in it.

WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? HOW FAR WOULD YOU GO? FILL MY COMMENTS LET ME KNOW? I KNOW SOME OF YOU WOULD JUST GRAB HER AND FUCK HER LIKE A WHORE, AND OTHERS WOULD BEG TO BE HER SLAVE. BUT MOST ARE SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN

[nerdieforpedro]

Did you say Raspberry Beret or Tea?

Dieter Bravo x plus size female reader

This blog is 18+ MDNI

This fic is for general audiances.

Word Count: 777 (Go buy a lotto ticket! 😎)

Summary: You're having a horrible period day and Dieter makes it better. No raspberries were harmed in the making of this fic.

Warnings: mentions of periods, discomfort, fluff

Notes: Not beta-ed. I wrote it at work and tired out a moodboard I think. I'm playing around with them. I blame my uterus for this fic as today sucked while I worked. 😑

“Ugh….I roll and I roll and it does nothing.” Your oversized t-shirt rides up under your breasts which adds to your annoyance. You’re sweating and having chills at the same time. Sprawled across the bed, you’ve tried both of your sides, laying on your back which led you to curve it in pain and on your stomach, you had a few minutes or relief before another heat wave came and made it too hot to stay face down.

Sitting up at the side of the bed, your hair is lopsided and your silk bonnet is on the floor. You don’t remember taking it off or hearing it fall. “I took my Midol, I kept chugging water and peeing. I’m still sore, hot and cold…this sucks. What am I missing?!” You rub your palms on your thighs to try and take your mind off how uncomfortable you feel. The floor feels cool though, maybe you should lay on it. It is a beautiful dark hardwood floor, you can see your reflection in it. Your body has a sheen of moisture from your sweat. “Become one with the floor…” You whisper to yourself and then start feeling cold again from so much exposed skin. “My body hates me.”

“Honey Pot, you don’t look too good.” A voice that you’ve missed the last few days as he’s been out of town. Dieter stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee. You love your coffee with four creamers and sugars with some dashes of vanilla extract. “Do I need to call someone? You’re sweaty and you feel cool. That’s really weird.” He handed you the coffee and pecked your lips as you accepted it. His palm touched your forehead before traveling up to smooth down your hair which was sticking up. “You’re on the losing end of a fight huh?” You quickly finished the cup, warming your body from the inside out, then you were again overheated.

“You were so sweet with the coffee and you had to ruin it Dee. It’s one of my heavier days so it’s so much worse. My meds and usual positions aren’t working. It’s horrible. Fix me…” You whined, rather uncharacteristic for you as Dieter was used to you listening to his complaints. He sat next to you on the bed and put his arm around you, the fluffy fabric of his ever present gray robe tickled your neck. 

“Aww…my poor sweetheart. What do you need from me? Anything you want I can order?” He asked, you shook your head and sighed. Patting his thigh before intertwining your fingers with his.

“No. I finished the coffee. I think I should have my raspberry tea. That should help, and then play some music, maybe moving around will help instead of just rolling in the bed.”

“Raspberry I can do honey pot. I’ll go start it now!” Bravo jumped up excitedly and ran out of the room. You were surprised to see him that enthusiastic to make you tea. He always said you brewed it too strong. You placed your feet on the cool hardwood floor again and stood, letting the cold travel from your feet, your head flew back from some relief. Your body had once again decided to change temperatures on you.

“Oh god that feels good. I should have gotten up sooner.” You laughed at yourself for not hopping up sooner and walked toward the doorway that led to the living room. Music filled the room as Dieter had turned the Bluetooth speaker all the way up and was shaking his hips with his arms extending out. It looked like he may start doing some kicks any time. “Dieter, what are you doing? Did you make the tea?”

He continued to dance over to you and pulled you toward the center of the room, placing a hand on the small of your back and leading you around in a circle to the rhythm. “I don’t know why you wanted to listen to ‘Raspberry Beret’ but it’s always fun to listen to Prince. Personally, I would have picked ‘I wanna be your lover’ to dance to.”

You stared at Dieter’s bright face as the two of you danced, his face with the same half grin and smirk he normally had. Your head rolls back as you erupt with laughter, forgetting for a bit that your uterus has chosen violence this week. “Another fun one is ‘I would die 4 U’ you know you can’t hit those high notes Dee.”

The two of you continue to swing around the living room to the jovial sounds of ‘Raspberry Beret’ the tea forgotten over the melody.

Trash Panda Pals 🦝: @katw474 @readingiskeepingmegoing @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @sp00kymulderr @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @titlee78

[eddiesgorlie]

Eardrums

Dad to be!Austin x Mom to be!Reader

Summary: Austin helps reader through labor

Warnings: Birth

Word count: 837

Why did I ever think this was a good idea? I was currently in labor with mine and Austin’s first child, that was a great idea, the bad idea was the home birth. As Austin sat on the edge of our bed, I was sitting on his lap, holding onto him for dear life as another contraction began. I tucked my head into his shoulder and let out a powerful scream as he tried to coach me through it. “You got this, baby. Let’s take some deep breath’s together.” He calmly said as I basically blew his eardrums out. “Get this baby out of me!” I yelled. My midwife immediately walked over. “Let’s check you, Y/n.” She said as she checked my cervix. “You’re just about 6 centimeters.” She said. “6?! Only 6?” I cried as my contraction slowly mellowed down. “Sadly, yes.” She sighed. “I think I’m going to pass out.” I said dizzily, looking at Austin with wide eyes. “Lay her down, now Austin.” My midwife said, obviously she saw the panicked look in my eyes. He followed her instruction and laid me down on the bed, I was humiliated as she put a “Puppy pad” under me. “I’m so embarrassed.” I said as tears clouded my vision. “Honey, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Your about to bring our child into the world, and you look so beautiful doing it.” He said as he kissed my forehead. “Y/n, he’s a keeper. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve heard dads say before.” She said with a laugh. “Oh I know he is.” I said, smiling. “Aw, you two are going to make me blush.” Austin said jokingly. “We better stop before his head gets too big.” I said with a laugh.

“Austin, lay with me please, I feel another one coming on.” I said with a deep breath. He crawled in bed next to me. “I’m right here.” He very gently stroked my belly through my contraction, doing everything he could to try to ease my pain. “Next baby we have, I’m having a hospital birth and getting that fucking epidural.” I said through gritted teeth as my contraction became stronger. “There’s going to be another baby?” Austin asked with a smile. “It depends on how big this one’s head is, from the way it feels, it got my big head.” I said. “I love your head, it has room for all of your thoughts a great ideas.” He said lovingly. “Fuck you.” I choked out. “I’m sorry…” He said, dragging out the Y. “Can she check me again? It’s been a while.” I said. “Baby, it’s been 15 minutes.” He sighed. “Can she still check?” I asked. He got out of bed and returned with the midwife a second later. “Let’s see where you’re at now.” She said. “You look at be about a 9. It looks like it’s time to start preparing.” She said with a smile.

Austin looked at me with excited eyes as my midwife left the room to get the supplies. “I’m so scared.” I said. “It’s okay to be scared, I’m going to be with you every step of the way and we’ll have a beautiful baby in our arms soon.” Austin said as he stroked my hair. “Who’s ready to have a baby?!” She said as she walked in the room with a big bag of things. “I definitely am, are you, baby?” Austin asked as he looked at me. “Me too.” I said with a smile. “Well perfect. I’m going to see how dilated you are and if you’re a 10, we’ll start pushing, if not I’ll get set up.” She said. I nodded. “Well, it looks like you are at just about a 9. Are you still having bad contractions?” She asked. “They’re horrible.” I said. “I’m going to get set up, if you feel the need to push, just tell me and we will get started.”

It was another hour before it was finally time to have this baby. “Austin, it’s time.” I said, my breathing becoming unstable. He quickly stood up and ran to the doorway, calling for the midwife. She sped into the room and walked over to me. “Feel the urge to push?” She asked. “Mhm, very much so.” I said, my voice shaky. “Ok, let’s try something to get you comfortable. Austin lay behind her and have her lay against your chest.” Austin immediately laid behind me and I leaned against him, she was right, this was very comfortable. “Spread your legs now, please.” My midwife said. I spread my legs and saw her shocked face. “You’re crowning, give us a big push.” She said excitedly. I wailed as I pushed. “It burns!” I yelled. “It’s the ring of fire, you’re doing so good! The head is almost out.” She said with a smile.

“It’s a boy!” She said as she carefully laid my newborn on my chest. “I’ll give you three some time.” You three, I loved the sound of that.

[supervillain-smut]

Garrett x Forbidden Relationship/General's Daughter Reader Fluff

I've been back playing Thief again, and I landed on the most comfortable looking bed, and I just thought about Garrett actually being comfortable and at peace just ONCE and then this. Enjoy!

It was as it always has been the last week outside; rainy, dreary, and cold. Your father, the Thief-Taker General, comfortable in his uniform, completely forgot his only child was stuck out in the rain with him as he instructed the guards posted outside of your home. The guards who cared threw you brief apologetic and sympathetic glances as your father either didn’t notice or didn’t care that he hogged the umbrella, the keys to the house hanging off the hip closest to you; so close, yet so far. 

You contemplated making a grab for them and letting yourself in, until you could take it no longer and decided to follow through with your plan. As soon as you tugged, your wrist was snatched by your father, a brief expression of fury crossed his face before he realized it was you. 

“Oh! I am so sorry, my lovely daughter, I forgot to let you in first. Here, allow me.” He put on what was obviously a mask to you, a simple change in demeanour to anyone who didn’t know him enough, the signs he was still upset showing in the way he never let go of your wrist, even after he opened the door. He sharply tugged you towards him before you could get through the doorway, whispering with a seething anger. “I thought I raised you better than to even think about stealing from me; next time, you use your words.” His grip tightened for a moment around your wrist as he spoke, before throwing your hand out of his grasp and turning back towards his men, leaving you to shut the door, something you swiftly did as you breathed to calm yourself; your father’s anger was not to be taken lightly. You retreated to your room, locking the door behind you, only to see the best thing you’d laid eyes on all day. 

There lay Garrett, one of your many secrets from your father, but most certainly your most loved and cherished, sprawled out on your bed atop the covers, completely asleep. Based on the covers, it seemed he was waiting for you and fell asleep. Anxiety spiked for a moment before you realized he had taken off his shoes at the window and locked it behind him like you asked, and his usual leather armour was not on his person, only the clothes you’d bought him, meaning he’d locked it in the designated chest. You stood still, not even wanting to breathe as you watched him. He looked so peaceful. You deduced he must have been cold and wanted a warm place to stay, because he was curled into himself with his arms tightly wrapped around him. 

His pose reminded you of your own chill as it ran down your spine, and you were as quiet as you could be, moving so slow a tortoise could beat you in a race to avoid waking him. You successfully got the fire lit and changed out of your gown into your sleeping gown without so much as a stir from Garrett, even remembering to grab and place the batteries in the clock you had bought specifically to help Garrett sleep. You took great care climbing into bed beside him, deciding now would be a good time to briefly wake him. You lightly shook him, whispering his name, and he stirred with a groan, to which you quickly shushed him. He opened those gorgeous eyes, and the smile that graced his features upon seeing you could’ve chased away all the cold in the night with how warm it was. 

“Hi.” He greeted tiredly; his voice slightly hoarse from sleep. “Hi. Let’s get you under the covers, hm?” You whispered before kissing him. He sat up, noticing the fire you’d lit and the clock, before stretching his entire body out, groaning then sighing as he made his way over to the side of the bed, lifting the covers and crawling in to cuddle with you. He kissed your head as you laid it on his bicep. “Can’t believe I fell asleep. What if one of your guards decided on a whim to check your room?” Garrett sounded disappointed in himself. 

“Well, if it’s any consolation, they won’t be doing that anymore. Not after I framed one of them for stealing a necklace I sold and accused another of spying on me.” Garrett chuckled in amusement at your antics before kissing you. “You’re a real work of art, you know that?” “Yes, yes, I love me too.” You joked and Garrett scoffed. “I do love you.” Garrett whispered as he cupped your cheek. “I love you too, Garrett. Now go to bed, in a nice, soft, warm bed like you deserve.” “I can do that.” 

[starstruckzine]

Another sneak peek into some pre-tour antics!

りんご飴 (Ringo Ame)

"Dad!"

"What?"

Shota and Hizashi poked their heads out from rooms on opposite ends of the upstairs hallway as they answered her call.

"Have either of you seen my lucky charm?"

Eri stood in the doorway of her bedroom. The bed behind her was strewn with clothes and shoes and makeup. She'd been told no less than a dozen times to only pack the necessities, which suited her perfectly - all the more reason to shop - but there was no way she was setting out on a trip around the world without her lucky charm.

The small candy apple keychain was a gift from Shinso when Ringo Ame auditioned for their first gig. He was her big brother; maybe not by blood, but he'd been around to offer his support since the day her dads adopted her.

Shinso also introduced Eri to Ochako and the other girls that made up the rock idol group Ringo Ame. She was just a child back then, but they took her under their wing. They spent countless hours learning the choreographed dances Mina developed and making up songs. It was just for fun at first. Jiro, the girls' friend and a member of a new local band Shake Down, taught them a lot about music, and their desire to perform grew.

Since both of her dads were members of the lengendary rock group The Vigilantes, they - along with the other members of the group - offered guidance as the girls worked hard to bring their vision into reality.

Now, they were living the dream!

"In the studio by the soundboard, I saw it there this morning. Forgot to bring it up." Hizashi said before ducking back into the storage room where they stashed the luggage.

"While you're down there,* Shota added, "grab the red notebook off the stand by the door. It has the set lists we were working on last night."

"Got it!" Eri hurried across the hall, bounding down the staircase, mind buzzing with excitement. Ringo Ame had completed two small tours since their popularity skyrocketed about a year and a half ago, and growing up, she'd frequently gone on tour with her dads. This time, though, she was nearly eighteen, and they were traveling all around the world. The list of cities on the schedule left her breathless.

The doorbell stopped her in her tracks. She glanced at her phone to check the time and then made a beeline for the front hall. When she threw open the door, she braced a hand on her hip and shook her head.

"Uncle Oboro, you were supposed to be here an hour ago! You know you're gonna get an earful."

Oboro put his hands up in surrender, flashing a grin. "You've got my back, though. Right, Eri?"

She grabbed his hand and pulled him inside, laughing. "Don't I always? But when you get your sentence, you're serving it alone. I have to finish packing, or I'm going to be in trouble."

"I only asked you to c9ver for me that once - twice... Okay, a handful of times, but tonight wasn't my fault. There were villains -"

Eri arched a brow. Since Shinso had gone on to become a pro hero, her dads often kept the news playing, and they hadn't heard a thing all day. "Sure you want to go that route?"

"Okay, okay." Oboro laughed, completely unfazed by his niece calling him out. "It's practically the truth, though. I stopped to get a coffee and ran into a crowd of fans -"

"Attractive fans?"

"Hey, is that really relevant?"

She gave him a look. Her uncle wasn't a player, but he did tend to get distracted by pretty faces. It'd been the cause of the band getting delayed on more than one occasion.

"Maybe one or two," he admitted with a sheepish grin, "but that really wasn't the problem. I swear. The group in general was pretty... How should I put it? Fanatical.  Our popularity has really skyrocketed again since Miss Yaoyorozu announced this tour. "

He was trying to sound put off by the The Vigilantes' resurgence in popularity, but Eri saw his grin and the way his eyes gleamed as he went on about all the interviews they had lined up and all the new fans that were going crazy on the band's Discord. After twenty years, they were considered rock legends, but the hype had waned since the earlier days of their career.

They were halfway down to the basement when Shota's voice came from the top of the stairs. "Oboro, is that you?"

"No?"

Eri rolled her eyes. "That's such a lame joke."

"Can't blame a guy for trying."

"We're already behind because you're late. Pack the extra mics while you're down there, and then you can start loading the van. We have to meet up with Nemuri and the crew at the hotel then try to get some sleep. Our flight leaves early tomorrow."

"Uncle Oboro didn't mean to be late. He had something of a, ah, a villain run-in -"

"Oboro," Shota interjected, "quit making my daughter cover for your irresponsibility," he crossed his arms over his chest, smirking, "and our fans aren't villains."

"That's what you think. I'm pretty sure one of them clipped a lock off the back of my hair."

A faint smile ghosted over Shota's lips. "Don't worry. We'll have Hizashi trim it in the van on the way to the hotel."

Eri glanced up to see the look of horror on her uncle's face, most likely recalling a story she heard about Oboro asking for a quick trim before a show, and her dad butchering the job so badly that her uncle had to wear wigs for the rest of the tour.

"Don't worry," Eri whispered, "I'll hide the scissors."

Art by: UNIfied Creations Art

[nocasdatsgay]

The Price You Pay for Power Ch. 2

Pairing: Neris

Word Count: 1741 | Warnings: None | Chapter rating: T

Story Summary: Eris revises his bargain with Rhysand: Nesta for Autumn Healers. He agrees and Nesta is sent to Autumn under the guise as Eris’s new bride in order to assist with removing Beron for good. Now she has to navigate a new court and also decide just how much she will trust her new husband

Chapter Summary: Eris retrieves his bride.

Master Post | Read it here on AO3 | Previous Chapter

Or read below

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The morning came too soon. Nesta woke with puffy eyes in the dress she wore the day before. Instead of getting ready for training, she changed into her favorite simple pewter dress and packed what little she truly owned. At one point she turned to see the house had placed books she read repeatedly on top of her folded clothes. She tried not to cry. 

“I will miss you,” she whispered. The house replied by adding another book to the stack. 

She thought of Gwyn and Emerie. She wrote a quick letter to them both. Explaining what happened and that she would write again when she could. She tried to not let her tears ruin the paper. The house took the letters; she would need to learn how to do it on her own once she left. She doubted Eris would teach her. 

A knock startled her. “Come and eat, Nes.” Cassian. 

If she hadn’t gone to bed so distressed without supper she would have ignored him. She ate in silence and refused to look at Cassian even when he tried to start a conversation. He was steadily getting annoyed with her until Rhysand walked in. She did not see Azriel before she left and wondered if he had avoided her on purpose. She quietly followed Rhysand and Cassian out of the kitchen. 

“I want to see my sisters. To tell them goodbye.” Nesta held her chin up and looked Rhysand in his eyes. She hoped the shadows under his eyes meant he suffered from a lack of sleep. “You owe me that much.”

He did not argue with her. She did not want either of them touching her, but ultimately allowed Cassain to carry her down. They arrived at the River House first. Cassain didn’t follow her as she quickly went inside. She found Elain and Feyre in the main sitting room. Feyre stood when she entered, a hand on her belly to steady her. 

“Nesta.” Her brows furrowed with what Nesta thought to be worry. So Rhysand had told her. At least whatever version of events he concocted. “You’re really going through with this?”

“I am.” 

Elain appeared beside Feyre, the same frown on her face. “Is this really what you want?” 

“No.” The command did not stop her from answering that question truthfully. 

Feyre’s head tilted. “Then why are you agreeing to marry Eris?” 

Nesta could not respond. She fought it; mentally clawing and trying to pry her mouth open. The words were stuck in her throat. She wanted to scream that she didn’t want this. That there had to be other ways. But nothing allowed her to speak. What felt like an eternity, Nesta found the words. 

“That is a question only your mate can answer.” 

“No.” A semblance of understanding flashed across her face. “I won’t allow it.”

“Nesta.” A chill ran down her spine as she heard Rhysand say her name with such disdain. 

“Rhys,” Feyre, with one hand on her stomach and the other on Nesta’s shoulder, stepped beside her. “What have you done? Why have you agreed to marry Nesta off to Eris? Without consulting me.”

“Feyre, darling,” his tone was so much softer with her. “I didn’t want to worry you and add stress to the baby. It’s only until Beron is dead. She isn’t officially marrying Eris.”

Nesta turned so sharply, it knocked Feyre’s hand off her shoulder. “That is not what you told me.”

A flash of red. “You didn’t tell her?” Cassian was standing in the doorway, eyes focused on the back of Rhysand’s head. 

Nesta refused to feel guilty for the grief she felt last night thinking Cassian would let her go without a fight. She hoped he felt guilty for his response considering he knew now she thought it was permanent. Judging by the harsh look on his face, that seemed to be the case.

“I thought it was implied.” Rhysand sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s for you, Feyre. There are healers in Autumn. Healers who can help Madja deliver the baby. Safely. Healers we can trust.” 

“And the marriage will be fake?” It was Elain who spoke up, meekly from behind her. 

“For all intents, yes.” Rhys waved his hand towards Nesta. “She helps Eris kill Beron. Then she comes home.”

“Promise me,” Feyre narrowed her gaze at her mate. 

“I promise.” He walked up to Feyre, lovingly taking her hand and kissing her cheek. 

Even with that reassurance, something deep in her soul told her it was not as simple as he made it seem. 

***

They arrived at the moonstone palace to find Eris waiting in the hall. Nesta wished she could run, burn the whole place down. She kept those feelings to herself. Despite what they thought of her, she cared about her sister. She didn’t want Feyre to die. As they approached, Eris looked at Rhysand and Cassian with contempt, before his gaze fell to her. He grinned. 

“Nesta Archeron,” his eyes raked over her and she bristled. “I knew you had a good head on your shoulders.”

“I’m doing this for my sister,” she glared. He didn’t seem deterred. 

He looked at Rhys, ignoring Cassian completely. “I had her things sent ahead. Edith will arrive in Hewn City two days from now to converse with your healers. I’ve already sworn her and her assistant to secrecy. As per our bargain.”

“If anything happens to Nesta, I will not hesitate to kill you.” Cassian with his wings tucked tight, the siphon flashed on his chest. 

Eris rolled his eyes. “I think she’s more than capable of handling herself. If you don’t mind, I want to speak to my bride alone before we depart.”

Cassian clenched his fists, but Rhys put his hand on his arm. 

“Cass.” He looked between Nesta and Eris. “Don’t overstay your welcome, Eris. The wards will only be down for less than an hour.” Hand still on Cassian, he winnowed them away. 

“Insufferable,” Eris muttered. He turned to Nesta. “There are rules you should be privy to before you enter Autumn.”

“Let me guess, females are to be seen not heard.”

Eris did not seem amused. He ignored her comment. 

“Unlike this court, open affection isn’t expected and honestly frowned upon. There isn’t a need to keep up appearances through physical displays.” 

“Good. I don’t want you touching me.” 

He again ignored her jab. 

“You already dress more modestly than the rest of Night, so that will not be an issue. Clothes will be provided to you in your chambers. As my wife, you’ll be expected to coordinate with me. Mostly for dinners. We will meet in the evenings to discuss our plans in my chambers. They’re warded.��

“At the moment, Asher is the most trustworthy of my brothers that live in Autumn. He will not harm you. His wife is also trustworthy and I’ll introduce you when we arrive. The others are fascinated and terrified of you. I would still avoid finding yourself  alone with them. Do not mention Lucien or what your sister is to him. My father doesn’t know and it needs to stay that way. 

He paused and narrowed his gaze. “You will be respectful to my mother. She will want to get to know you. If you are rude to her in any way, I will send you back. Bargain be damned.”

From what she expected, those were reasonable requests. She realized he was waiting for a response. 

“Understood. And what is the plan in place for our false engagement?”

“False?” Eris laughed coldly. “Our very real wedding is tomorrow.”

Nesta felt like the world tilted under her feet and the breath left her lungs. “But he said-“ 

“He said what? That we wouldn’t be wed?” Eris’s smile was condescending. 

“He said it was pretend.” She tried to remain calm despite the worry building inside her. “Until Beron is dead. Then I could come home.”

“I told Rhys I would delay it as much as possible but my father is too suspicious and wants you locked in for the court. He sees no reason in an engagement period. When he is dead, I’ll work on an annulment.” Eris said dismissively. Then he wrinkled his nose and looked down at her. “In the meantime, you will need a bath and a change of clothes before you’re introduced. You reek of that animal.”

“Don’t call him that,” she said through her teeth. 

“I call him what he is.” He stepped forward so close she recoiled. In a hushed tone he leaned in and said to her, “If you want to make it out of Autumn alive, you will not argue with me again. The moment we step into that house, reluctant or not, you will play the part of my wife. Everyone will be watching and listening. They’ll be waiting for you to falter.” He took a breath, almost like a sigh. “There is no doubt in my mind that you can do this. You have power straight from the cauldron itself. So act like it.” 

He stepped back and straightened up. His cold amber eyes ran over her again and she held back a shiver. He held out his arm, wordlessly willing her to take it. She looked back down the hall of the moonstone palace. She wondered if Cassian came back and was still here somewhere, waiting for her to depart. She steeled herself and looped her arm around Eris’s. She didn’t remember him being this warm when they danced. 

“You've winnowed before, correct?” She nodded. “Good.” 

No other warning was given as she was swept away. The world moved quickly without her even taking a step herself. It was like she was dragged into flames, smoke billowing about them and she clung tighter onto Eris’s arm. As quickly as it started, they stopped. She exhaled loudly. 

Before her was the most beautiful place she’d ever seen. Trees as far as she could see, covered in bright oranges, yellows, and red. Much brighter than any she’d seen in the human realm or even in Valaris. The house before them was more like a castle; and looked to be made of a tree itself, the stone a deep brown like bark. There were a series of steps in front of them with two guards posted beside large entryway doors. 

Eris removed his arm from hers. “Welcome to the Autumn Court, Nesta.” 

Next Chapter

[cameronprincess]

Hot Showers and Cold Bleach

Warnings: Strong Language

Authors Note: this has been sitting in my drafts for 2 months now and i’m so proud of this one!! i simply can’t wait for this universe to have its moment. hope you all like it as much as I do!!

——————

April 11th 2019

Kalani already had a strong regret facetiming her mother and father Anna and Marcus back home in New Jersey as she packed for her trip for Coachella with her longtime boyfriend, Micheal and his bandmates along with Luke and Ashton’s girlfriends Sierra and KayKay.

Roy, one of Calum’s friends is tagging along as well with the group.

Kalani and Micheal have been together ever since the infamous Bali trip the boys took in 2016. Even though he was secretly subscribed to her youtube channel from 2014 and she was his celebrity crush. He made that apparent in every interview he was asked that question.

She knew some of her good friends who were going and gave her a free ticket to go. Kailani and Micheal originally just wanting to hook up that whole week and never talk again until they realized their feelings and have been together ever since.

Her old youtube vlog of that trip has clips of the two shamelessly flirting with one another that they look back upon now and laugh.

She held up one blue bikini, one red one, and a pink one and quickly shoved them in her bag until her mother’s Jersey accent rang through.

“What the hell are those pieces of fabric??” She demanded.

“‘My bathing suits?” She shrugged walking over to her vanity to pack her makeup in her travel bag.

“Those are not a bathing suits. That’s rags colored in dye.” She said making her brunette haired daughter chuckle and roll her eyes.

“Mom, no one in Coachella is gonna see my birthday suit.” She responded looking at her mom’s disgusted face on the MacBook screen.

“Well other than Micheal!!” Her dad’s voice interrupted her trying to figure out what shade of foundation to bring. She never knew how tan she’d get in the different climates and it would be a monstrosity if she posted on YouTube or Instagram and her face was 4 shades lighter than her whole body.

“Shut up.” She chuckled as she packed a Fenty Bottle and Makeup Forever bottle.

‘Praying these are right’ She said a silent prayer.

Ana waved noticed Michel standing in the doorway holding Southy in his arms with Moose and her cocker spaniel, Sadie trailing behind him. Kailani turned around seeing him.

"You're like a cat. How did I not hear you." She smiled at her boyfriend who shrugged taking a seat on their shared bed.

"Hi Mrs. Smith" Micheal waved with Southy's paw making Kalani smile.

"Micheal honey you can call me Anna. I've told you this for 2 years now. The whole Mrs thing makes me feel older than I am."

“If the shoe fits then wear it momma.” She joked making Anna give her the bird.

They bid their goodbyes as she had to go, tired of hearing Micheal trying to wrestle the dogs to do what sounded like a trick.

“I’ll finish packing tomorrow before we leave. I have all my clothes packed just not bathroom stuff but it’d be pointless to pack them now.” She ran her fingers through his fringe as she sat on his lap.

“We should bleach my hair again before Coachella.” He suggested squeezing her ass. She knew what he really wanted.

“You just wanna fuck me under the shower.”

“Not completely, I also want my hair washed but that doesn’t sound bad either.”

“Fine.” She climbed off his lap and sauntered into the connected bathroom.

****

Kalani and Micheal stood underneath the warm shower water as she lathered some sort of deep conditioner with keratin and special oil designed for faux blondes in his hair before she could bleach it again if she wanted to make sure it was completely clean.

"The bottle said to wait 5 minutes before you can wash it out." She repeated the instructions on the purple bottle.

His hands wandered down her hips and close to her ass as she gave him a pointed look.

"That’s not what we're here for." She pointed her finger at his chest

"Y’know you could wash my hair since I was such a good girlfriend by washing yours and about to bleach it." She batted her full lashes at him who playfully rolled his eyes before turning Kalani towards him and lathering shampoo to wash her curls.

Small talk was the only thing that you could hear in the bathroom other than the running water.

They washed out all the product out of his and her hair before wrapping herself in a warm towel while Micheal stepped out of the bathroom to grab the hair dye and another towel.

He's been dying his hair ever since he was 16. He would consider himself a pro but likes when Kalani does it for him.

She grabbed the t shirt off of the counter that she stole from Micheal and her panties while she squeezed the water out her hair and threw in some deep hair mask to throw it up in a curly bun.

Micheal rolled the chair in front of the bathroom mirror and placed the dye in a bowl as Kalani read the instructions.

She placed some gloves on for protection of her skin and got to bleaching his hair. "This may burn." She warned him as she was splitting his hair into sections while he was mindlessly scrolling through Twitter when she was starting.

"I've dyed my hair probably 20 times in my life. Trust me it's fine. I’m immune to the burning sensation now.” He joked.

*****

After an hour of the smell of bleach and the sound Kalani and Micheal's laughter , they were finally in bed watching some episodes Chicago Fire that they've been missing out on.

She had one leg propped up and the other across his lap as he stroked her thigh making her bite her lip as to make it seem like his fingers brushing across her thighs didn't have a affect on her. As it very well did because of how she felt the dampness pool in her black panties.

"If you wanna eat my pussy all you have to do is ask." She finally spoke up during a boring scene in the show.

"I was waiting on those exact words." He said with a cheeky smile.

With that Micheal maneuvered himself to be in her thighs, facing her panties. He licked his lips in anticipation.

Kalani whined softly as he was teasing her clit with his tounge through the outside of her panties. "Please Mikey." Her doe eyes silently begged him.

“Someone’s impatient.”

He tugged them down her smooth legs and tossed them somewhere behind him as he was face to face with her swollen clit as his eyes got wider in adoration.

"Shit your pussy is so pretty my love." He kissed the insides of her thighs as she giggled. "Thank you."

With one lick, she was a moaning mess for him. He was maintaining eye contact with her and every time she wouldn't look at him he would go slower with eating her out. It wasn't long before she started pulling on his hair as he was sucking on her clit making her eyes close in pleasure.

"That feel good baby?," He asked huskily as she could visibly see her own wetness on his beard.

She shakily sighed. "Fuck it feels so good."

With his middle and ring finger he started to slowly finger her while sucking on her clit, her hips jutting up every time he curled his fingers against her sweet spot.

"Shit I'm gonna come." She panted. She pushed his head deeper into her trying to get more of his mouth.

“I know." He cooed, the vibrations of his voice sending her over the edge.

She screamed his name in pure ecstasy multiple times as he pulled his fingers out of her and slowly licked her clean, avoiding her clit as he knew it was too sensitive. He gave her clit one last kiss before laying back next to her.

"I love you." She stretched over her to peck his lips. They kissed for what seemed like hours.

"I can't wait to fuck you at Coachella. To a weekend of great music and even better sex." He said excitedly running his hands over her ass.  

"And spending time with your band members while I have girl time!" she playfully hit his tattooed arm as they both went into a deep sleep tangled together.