#this mv in particular right after having read live

[knightzp]

they do things to my brain

[bonefall]

I've never understood why people wholly blame Maple for making the clan think her kits were Birchface's. I mean, I'll admit it's been AGES since I read MV (or any actual WC book lmao) but I swear she did nothing to start it? Frecklewish just Assumed they were Birchface's for whatever reason and Mapleshade just didn't confirm or deny. A lie by omission, if still a big one. But people act like its some vile, actively manupulative lie from Maple alone??? like yeah its manipulative but A. who cares let her girlboss and B. it entirely started with Frecklewish assuming??? it wasn't even Mapleshade's idea in the first place???????

You're correct; it was a lie of omission, completely suggested by Frecklewish. Mapleshade didn't fabricate this lie.

In fact, something often left out of discussions about Mapleshade's Vengeance is that it decided she was VERY pious. In the early half of MV, she believes that it's StarClan that's providing all these opportunities for her.

She thinks she's special, that her kittens are destined to bring peace to their two halves, and that the code applies more loosely to her because she so strongly believes she's right and that her love is beautiful. I think it's meant to come across as Mapleshade being "delusional" and disconnected with reality, but I can't help but feel like a fair amount of it is naivety.

Mapleshade is quiet, and Frecklewish rolls into a long, earnest monologue, thanking her for giving her hope with her brother's kittens. It reads to me like Frecki was in a depression after Birchface's death, and being able to help raise her nespring is like being given a new purpose in life.

It's gutwrenching on both ends, for me. Mapleshade is actually super uncomfortable several times around her "in-laws" during these lies, like she knows that she's in a dangerous position, and never really wanted them around to begin with. She clearly doesn't like Frecklewish very much and is actively intimidated by Oakstar. She doesn't WANT to have to lie forever, she eventually wants it to be known they're halfclan.

(and... why shouldn't she want that? This law SUCKS and it SHOULD be challenged. I'll go to bat for Silverstream and I'll go to bat for Mapleshade too.)

But meanwhile, Frecklewish in particular is being mislead. This means everything to her, it gave her a purpose when her brother had been taken from her, she thinks Birchface is living on and that Mapleshade shares in her grief. But it's a lie, Mapleshade doesn't want her anywhere near her children, and at the end of the day her love of these kittens is being exploited for their safety.

So... yes. It is manipulative, but the alternative was to actively tell Frecklewish NO and open up more questions about who the possible father was. Mapleshade is in a dangerous situation and she interpreted the opportunity as StarClan providing a way for her kittens to become accepted by their Clanmates.

I just find this situation is compelling. And they're both neat

[jiminsass-istant]

SMERALDO GARDEN MARCHING BAND : NOT JUST A FUN SONG

One thing you can expect before listening to any Jimin song for the first time is that NO TWO SONGS WILL EVER BE THE SAME.

Naturally I had too many questions when I watched the SGMB Track video!

Face was about inner reflection and tragedy, while MUSE is apparently about Jimin's artistic inspiration. Since the entire Muse album is not out yet, I kept wondering how SGMB fit into the 'artistic inspiration' concept. What do we learn about Jimin in SGMB? But most importantly, who is Jimin's muse?

********************************************************************

To answer, let's look at Jimin's intents. I divided them into 2 parts:

"Tell things we/he couldn't before"

A recurring thing we have seen in chapter 2 Jimin is his desire to "tell everything he couldn't before", and this started right from 2022 Festa dinner:

True to his words, he started being more honest and telling us his story in Face. That's how we knew he had already started expressing more truth than he ever had before. Not only that, in the BTS documentary, Jimin even opened up about his depression while dining with JK.

But was that ALL he had to say? NO! Because he says this in Closer Than this which was released in dec 2023 ->

Since CTT is clearly a fan song, he is addressing fans here when he says that he wants to reveal everything to his fans. Going by the bangtan lore, I think we can safely conclude that here 'spring day' for bts refers to the day they are reunited with their fans again (2025), that is - post military. Meaning, Jimin will keep revealing things through his music well after MS is over.

A wonderful army pointed out that the english lyrics of SGMB are not entirely correct. The line "I'll tell you everything now" should actually be "i'll reveal everything on your behalf", which brings us to Jimin's second intent-

2) "The truth untold"

The BTS unit song TTU speaks about how the protagonist is unable to confess their feelings to their love because they consider themselves ugly and unworthy (due to lack of self-love).

In the first teaser for Muse, Jimin found the music sheet for The Truth Untold inside the purple lockers. And then he releases SGMB which is basically the positive (and happy future) version of TTU.

The twitter thread i referred to previously explains this very well and all of you should read it:

Let's now look at some of my personal observations in the MV before i put on my delulu cape.

Jimin's showmanship:

Jimin is basically a host, a presenter, cupid, and the lead of Smeraldo Garden marching band. It's like he entered the Smeraldo garden of thorns and despair along with his band to help the protagonist reveal their true feelings to their loved one. The garden is now lively with all positive elements- dance, kids, butterflies, bubbles, confetti. It showcases Jimin's change in attitude and how he has truly begun to love himself. That's why when Jimin says :

" Ooh, I love you babe I'll come closer to you I love you, babe (Yes, sir) Ooh, I want you, babe I wanna hold your hand I want you, babe"

He's saying this on behalf of the protagonist. That's what Smeraldo Garden Marching Band does- it helps people in despair, helps them to express love.

2) Jimin is NOT homophobic!

People really used the scene of Jimin separating the sapphic couple as him being anti-gay. Let me show you the scenes where Jimin took the flower from a guy. Look at the guy's stance, look at the lyrics. The correct translation for the lyrics in the image is " the truth untold". He is indeed referring to a hidden truth in this particular scene, 'hidden' being the keyword here, which i'm sure the lgbtq+ community is more than familiar with.

To realize the importance of this scene, just go to any reactor and see their face when they see Jimin accepting a flower from a man. They hold their breath only to release it when they see him playing matchmaker to hetero couples. Don't you just love Jimin's brain? lol.

Let's look at the 2nd scene of Jimin giving a flower to another man-

Again, Jimin is bowing down this time, while the adlibs go "just for you". Jimin is not just being a 'wingman' here as some might think- a wingman doesn't 'present' flowers like this. He is subtle and this is him recognizing all sorts of relationships.

3) The sunflowers face the viewer, not Jimin or his band. The sunflowers face the...SUN. I think I am starting to wear the delulu cape here (yes i mean cape and not cap). We all know from Jimin's innumerable moon references that he associates himself with the moon, not the sun. The sun tattoo haver has always been the sun from the sun-and-moon duo. Just like the moon tattoo haver is the moon of the duo.

So this whole time Jimin has been talking to the protagonist of TTU- is it Jungk-

NO NO WAIT! Didn't Jimin just sing -

"Since we're together now"..together as in...

("Yes Sir!")🤷‍♀️

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we clarify last time that being 'together' means 'dating' in Korean, as in most other languages of this world?! Ahem.

Look like someone is getting 'serenaded' as in 'serenade' version of Muse.

*sighs very loudly*

Disclaimer: Just because i made a jikook interpretation of the song doesn't mean i don't recognize and agree with non-shipping interpretations. *sigh*

Anyway, there is another interpretation of SGMB by andy-wm. I really loved the pantomime comparison:

And another by jimin-bangtan:

Trust that if Jikook make 'yes sir' jokes in the travel series, I'm gonna lose it. Just a little bit.

I cannot wait for the rest of the album! These are all love songs. We are getting happy-sappy Jimin you all ! The Jimin who went through so many struggles is finally loving himself and has learnt to be happy with his loved ones.

[fangirlmedstudentblog]

Ok, so now that I've watched the msp our skyy eps and slept on it, my thoughts are finally a bit more than indecipherable sobbing at every tinngun scene lol.

Spoilers for anyone who hasn't seen the our skyy 2 my school president episodes yet

Me after just looking at tinngun pics yesterday after the ep ended

But i will say one thing they've done well in these 2 eps is UNDERSTAND how to do a life swap au. It was one of my bigger fears about the our skyy msp episodes. Because life swap/role swap aus are often hard to get right. And I'm happy they understood the assignment 😃

Because i absolutely LOVE how they've swapped the lives of Tinn and Gun and how you can see it's changed so much about them, but yet at the core they're still the same tinn and gun we know and love!

I really appreciate how they've just kept the fact that Tinn is still so much more confident and ready to *go* for something despite the fear of rejection and Gun's still more hesitant, still the same boy who is still afraid of *why* he's so loved. (I have a feeling that his dad isn't alive even in this universe, though I'll be happy if that's wrong)

I've seen meta saying how Gun not having that creative outlet as in the original universe has kinda made him more subdued (he's still bratty). And it's so true.

Also there's something to be said around Gun's willingness to pine away from afar and just be happy in the moments he gets with Tinn that is so *him* but also a little nod to those in real life who are not as bold as the original Tinn. Gun's insecurities are something MANY of us have irl.

Gun always has been the one who's a bit more hesitant and it's always been Tinn who quietly but steadfastly just patiently waits for Gun, has always seen Gun and just aaahhhhhh it's so GOOD the way these two ALWAYS support each other 😭😭

Like how @bengiyo says it in their our skyy ep 2 recap, these eps show just how much of Tinn's trust and confidence in himself and his feelings were critical to the way the og msp unfolded and gave us so many of the moments we squeal about.

Also credit to @lurkingshan and @distant-screaming for their thoughts on this episode who are articulating what i feel much more concisely and without ending up writing a mini essay lmao

With that who talk of Gun and Por in the school bench scene (Never Let me Go school I see ya!) it's such a beautiful talk. The whole sequence is such a nudge to Gun and to those of us who are hesitant in real life to do a particular thing that there's not much use just thinking about what your alternate universe self will do and instead just try to go for it in your *own* universe.

I also loved all the references to aof's past works in the mv and the ost as usual are bangers. (Someone please buy me the ost album 😭)

If I had to say, maybe there's just three things I'd complain a little about these eps:

One, there should have been more i absolutely LOVED it

Two, i would've liked TinnGun to maybe have (1) new scene and a small cheek kiss at least (this is a bit more of a personal thing) maybe at that 1 year point ? I would've liked to see it at that point at least but that hand holding was also excellent 10/10 sobbed a lot

Three, I would've liked a glimpse into the lives of the original universe and how they are doing now (I miss them so much MY BABIES) and if that time skip scene had been for the original universe TinnGun somehow i would've loved it even more

Anyways that's all i have to say about these our skyy eps for msp (for now) and thanks for reading through my ramblings 💜

[iguessitsjustme]

Be My Favorite - Episode 5 Thoughts

Looks like I’m doing this again. I have the time, energy, and inclination to watch and liveblog my thoughts tonight and I’ve been told Pisaeng has a wonderful arc this episode so I might actually be a little excited for this. Never thought I’d say that about a Jittirain show. 

-I still love this opening. Wait I remember watching the MV for this. I didn’t care for the MV but I like the song itself. It’s so very Thai BL. 

-I am also laughing that Not slept alone. He deserves no one and nothing. 

-Oh Pisaeng. I remember that feeling. Not being sure what you’re afraid of but still being afraid. 

-I don’t think Kawi likes Pear actually. Cause if he liked Pear, his crush would have fizzled out after 12 years. I think he likes the idolized version he has of Pear in his own head. 

-You know what Kawi, I haven’t written in a long time too and I want to get back to it. I might just find my journal after watching it. 

-Can someone tell me what those books are because those covers are GORGEOUS. Now I also want to read. I’ve read 6 books in the last two weeks. Granted they were all easy reads but still. These books are beautiful. 

-Are they even talking? I thought they were literally just friends. 

-I love Max. Kawi does not deserve a friend like him. Max deserves better. 

-I want to squish Max’s cheeks. No particular reason why. I just love him a lot which means cheek squishing. 

-I need Kawi to stop hanging out with these assholes. Like I get they’re kind of the perfect friend group for Kawi but since he’s the main character, whenever he hangs out with them that means I need to see them and I’m with Pisaeng here. They suck. 

-Did Pisaeng just stare longingly at a gay bar? That was such a good moment. 

-Not and Pear’s friend better not end up together. Not better not (lol) get a redemption. 

-Hey, um Not, fuck you: 

-Pear should have said “if you wrote it, I’m sure it won’t be that difficult” and annihilated him on the spot. But she’s too nice for that unfortunately. 

-Not gonna lie, I just skipped the scene of Kawi attempting magic. It’s boring. Also Kawi is so judgemental. 

-Max said “you’re the problem” to Kawi and he is correct. 

-YES PISAENG YES. GO TO THE GAY CLUB. 

-Noooo Pisaeng don’t run away from Max! Max is good! Max is kind! Max isn’t judgemental!

-So Kawi let one asshole remark from Not influence his perception of literally all of the kind people around him and then befriended the asshole who made him feel so small. Okay okay I got it. Kawi is an idiot. 

-Max is the best. What a good person. More Max. Less Not. Why am I forced to see so much Not when Max is right there. 

-MAX. I love him. I adore him.

-If Kawi is about to sing, I’m gonna cry

-*tears*

-The fast forward button is my friend. 

-I can see the messaging the show is going for with Kawi’s character in learning that the world isn’t such a nasty place and you shouldn’t judge it as such but I think they’re executing it poorly. I don’t know how exactly it’s not working for me but I think it’s the immaturity. I honestly think this message would work better had it been Kawi getting shown his future so he works to fix the present instead of Kawi living 12 additional years and travels back in time because he never grew up and is just now learning these things.

-Look and precious baby Pisaeng. So afraid and so brave despite it. 

-I am so incredibly proud of Pisaeng. This was probably the hardest thing he has ever done. It would have been much easier for him to repress and run away and never think of it again. But he didn’t. He faced it despite his fear. And not just fear or rejection but the fear of what it would mean for him to acknowledge this truth. He’s searching for his answers and I am so so proud of him for finding the courage to admit his feelings for Kawi out loud. 

-This feels a lot like a straight friend rejecting his gay friend. 

-PISAENG AT THE GAY BAR. PISAENG AT THE GAY BAR. I love this so much. 

-Why did Pear sniff kiss him? When did that happen? This really feels like a het show with Pisaeng being the interesting side character on a journey of self discovery. And I love Pear so I wouldn’t mind that. Kawi could be better though. 

-I actually think Krist has a good voice. I thought it in the MV and I think it whenever I hear him sing. But it isn’t “be constantly singing in this show” good but I am biased as I want minimal singing in all shows always. 

-That preview scares me

[vaidatriedwritingonce]

Haegeum bitch, Haegeum.

First off all, Min Yoongi is a fucking genius.

The parallels between Daechwita and Haegeum MVs are quite literally bookhshawbakhow.

Daechwita is set in the Monarchy time period. Both the Yoongi's were power hungry. The thing though, King Yoongi (Yes I will be referring to him just like that, bear with it.) was born into it. Also, I have read that having a scar, is supposed to be associated with criminality (Someone said that on the internet when I searched up Scars and Koreans, please I swear). King Yoongi having a deep scar on his FACE nonetheless, something that a diplomat has to show to the public as a leader, is a lot.

The other Yoongi in Daechwita, he fought his way up. Dug his way up from hell, came up to the top, right from the bottom. Common man-hardened-from-fight- Yoongi craves power. He craves freedom from the oppressive rule of the king. Daechwita is set in the time of a king, in a time where the society is so setback, that the only people who are born into the power, who are influential right from the beginning are at the top. I like to believe, his lyrics reflect that too, I am no good with korean though. Yoongi who fought challenges and says that he has outshone the oppressive rulers and whatnot, and that he will continue to do so, even if that means spitting in the face of the rules that keep him binded.

Haegeum now, god.

Haegeum, I like to believe, is set in a time where the people have way before realised their freedom and have acted on it. But the thing is, here's the thing: It's too much.

Haegeum, according to me, is set in a time where everyone is racing to be at the top, to a point where there IS no top.

Second, the two Yoongis is each video.

The King and Police Yoongi both have scars. Though, the scar that police Yoongi has, is lighter. Or rather, somewhat more healed than the King. There are two sides to power, the darker side (The King) and the "Virtuous" side (The Police) who only step in after the poor, or rebels (Tropical shirt Yoongi) start posing a threat to the set of oppressors that control a particular sect of living.

In the end, just like Daechwita where the want to overthrow the oppressive rule won, in Haegeum, the want for greed, power, overthrew the constraints of the society.

Lastly, Yoongi coming back to the place where he started it all in a police car, that was sent to bring him in, I think it's a message of how the rebellion has spread to all levels, irrespective of the 'Right' or 'Wrong' side.

Also, in both the MVs, the King, the Police and the Common Man, all played by Yoongi also show how we're are own chains that are very, very opposing to what we actually want, what we are for the people, and what we are for ourselves.

It's a cycle of greed, corruption, want to rule, power and the need for fiery victory, but goddamnit, if I am gonna go out, then I will go out with a bang and I will do it all over again if I have the chance to.

Also, I do not encourage smoking, but I will pay Min Yoongi, in both cash and tangerines to smoke in my face UwU.

That is all, thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[9w1ft]

alright all that’s left now is to hit post and

*record scratch*

oh wait, what? whats that? i can't reblog with more content on the main post? it’s technically too big?!

oh well well well then okay. hey :leans in close: did i… ever crash your app with the op post? i wanted to apologize for that. truly sorry. the truth is, the original post also crashes my app! wild! yes, well, as big of a fan of push media as i am i’m going to have to break away from the original post to get the job done this year but if you’re new here and don’t know about the eye theory please for the love of god click the below link to read through the original. it’s required reading.

(click for the op)

…

…

yes ok. welcome back! did i make you dizzy? jeepers my eyes do hurt, just after putting together this update! but i come bearing gifts…! frankincense, myrrh, gold, and a *plump* 2021 eye theory update for the remaining bakers dozen or so of us left hanging in this manger… because apparently that’s just the way things will be 😘 again, i’m far past proving this thing and more into sharing, yeah, sharing the fun memories over the past year living with this theory so that’s what i’ll do. and this requires more than the ten picture limit so in lieu of that i will be updating only once but with links to each finding. my demarcation is the same as last year:

so without further ado, here comes our…

2021 year in review

JANUARY

★ kimby posting the eye mirror thing at the beginning of the year (which i posted about at the end of the last update)

★karlie liked a tweet (a rarity at the time) from henry hall promoting his new album… that had an eye and the number 13 on the album cover.

-we found another great photo match example

☆ we noticed something up with a new carolina herrera ad that ended up showing up again later in the year

☆ we noticed taylor covering her eye during rep tour while singing even in my worst lies you saw the truth in me

-we noticed an oft forgotten appearance of the evil eye ring in the rep promo material, photos of her on the beach

FEBRUARY

☆ we found a potential easter egg in the end game mv

★ one of the lyric videos for fearless TV had a fun synching moment ..that taylor then put in her instagram stories

★ taylor posted a bleachella era pic of her and the haim sisters that had the sisters covering eyes with their hoodies, and then honest to god this is just one of those thing i can’t quite conscionably explain but there are two boxes of pizzas being held and the cheese only pizza looks like the “blank” of the two pizzas and it’s to the right of the picture

★ kayda and kai did some eye funny business

MARCH

★ the grammys… so, taylor’s performance included choreography that covers her right side eye along with the line “guess i should have known from the look on your face” and i know this is one of the things people particularly do not like but i’m such a sucker for prop comedy: i think the shape of the lean-to cabin itself is the shape of an eye and also the belted waist part of her dress looks like an eye, i said what i said

-and this can’t help but feel like chance, but, we got this red carpet press photo of her grammy covering her eye

-something also feeling serendipitous, karlie got papped by some eye graffiti

APRIL

-The Vault reveal left me wanting to get my eyes checked 😂

☆ we realized one could make the argument that there’s a eye isolated by the mask on her male counterpart in willow, and that the mask has a drooping daisy embroidered on it

-i got the chance to talk a little bit more about my thoughts on the editing that went on with the mert and marcus rep photoshoot photos, and my thoughts on computer graphic manipulation as it relates to other things, in particular lead time

★ taylor seemed to have more fun with synching up the fearless tv clip to music 🙈

★ taylor’s mother’s day merch included a postcard with a daisy and the lyric “i love you for giving me your eyes”

MAY

-not for nothing, austin posted a picture of him at the Oculus building in NYC (oculus being a word that means eye, austin being someone who rarely updates his instagram these days)

★ karlie got back in the saddle with posting an eye out of frame

★ some preview photos of karlie’s green adidas collection were released, and they included this amazing shot

and wouldnt ya know it she made it her profile pic after the collection release

JUNE

★ more kayda funny business (i feel like there were a lot more of these but i wasn’t able to keep track)

★ karlie got papped wearing a prada jacket with a print of a one eyed beach babe

-taylor mixed up her words during a thank you speech while accepting an award and said “she helped me to edit my eyes” which i mean i don’t think it was intentional but it certainly made my year 🙈

★ karlie wore this versace blazer that inexplicably has a hole cut out of it to the right?? which was made even more meaningful given the fact that i had been spiraling over the tie with the hole in it in the lwymmd video a few months prior idk 😆

★ the how long do you think it’s gonna last album was announced with an… eye collage… 🙈🙈 and kept the promo coming into july with eye cutout moments like this

JULY

★ then the Renegade music video was released and it was just chock a block with eye manipulation! singled out eyes, taylor covering her right side eye with her hands, with her hair, the eyes on her face cut out and zoomed in on. like, i’m sorry, it’s 2021 and we are really doing this ladies???

-and i came up with a funny (/emotional)

-karlie met with schiaparelli in paris, who had just come out with a collection full of gilded eyes among other body parts

★ karlie blocked an eye for estée lauder —a true pastime— and thus began the formalization of the tradition of me waking up to karlie having posted something ocular to instagram

AUGUST

☆ adam rippon posted a little ode to karlie’s “looking camp right in the eye 👁 ” moment, which normally id just chalk up to it having become a meme but at the same time, bobby berk liked the post and they were both in the yntcd mv, so it’s sorta amusing

★ karlie posts “filed under baking inspo” moodboard which included a pic of a face made of food with one eye 🥴🥴🥴 like i’m sorry, is this not proof of acknowledgement 😆

★ karlie posts a photoset of her in workout clothes and she’s covering the left side eye in a lot of the pics

★ karlie wore some eye-like rain and sunshine earrings from two jewelers that also make custom lover’s eye jewelry

SEPTEMBER

★ taylor covered an eye on the tiktok

-i noticed that each of karlie’s adidas collections had their own moments

-also like this is simply an act of god but somehow taylor and karlie got a photo taken at the 2014 met gala where karlie is standing to the right next to a woman with an eye purse…?

☆we noticed two things about the UPS commercial she did during rep era

★ karlie hid an eye while getting ready for the met gala which was the start to a crazy crazy day here on kaylor tumblr

☆ someone kindly pointed out to me that birch feat. taylor swift just as names of trees goes is also sus 🥴

-we listed up some of the possibly eye theory -aligned taymoji

★ karlie posted a promo clip of her designing her met dress at carolina herrera and it had an eye moment

-taylor has sort of established winks as a Taylor’s Version easter egg gesture so i don’t really count things like this in the grand scheme of things but i can’t help but feel this wink was exaggerated in post which would mean the eye could have been edited, and for that i’ll mention it

-this is just an it’s a small world moment having to do with researching the band of outsiders brand

★ taylor using an eye covered pic of shania twain on her tiktok

★ karlie blocking eyes again in a photoshoot make that two

OCTOBER

✦★✶ karlie went to mert alas’ gin release party in paris I REPEAT she went to the party being held by the guy who took the rep album photoshoot photos aka the guy who took the actual eye theory photo and not only did she get a pic with him, she drank out of the gin glasses that had an eye like pattern cut into them???

★ karlie woke me up again and chose violence

-i forget how i ran into this but it’s this old photoshoot of karlie in a daisy full body suit with her arms and head in the shape of an eye idk lol

★ karlie posted a photoset with some eye blocking moments going on

NOVEMBER

-in a moment of meta, karlie got the chance to post a pic of bert and ernie to her instagram stories as she was also a part of the WSJ innovators issue

☆ taylor’s grammy dresses went on display and the waist fabric looked even more like an eye so sue me!

★ karlie really made it christmas morning every morning 🥴

★ RED TV lyric videos also got a moment

★ the IBYTAM video had us all reeling for plenty of reasons but i made sure to have my fun …kinda cool how it fits though 😂 this stood out to a lot of us and this too

-it’s the little things

-blame it on the vault crest and red dresses but i allowed myself to lean in to the crazy a bit more than usual and tbh i had the best time with it

☆ i had a thought about So It Goes as it relates to rep tour

-The Missing Eye Puzzle Piece it turned out that the missing capital one red bundle puzzle piece was simply missing, and it has been found, **but** i had an amazing couple of weeks imagining the ARG possibilities. oh and i still love that the right side eye is the 11th puzzle piece across, 8 rows down (karlie numbers)

DECEMBER

★ karlie posted again blockin an eye 😂

★ shes so good at finding an opportunity

★ karlie wearing a sweatshirt with an eye on it because why not i guess 🙈

-surely coincidental but i did laugh at where her music choice in this post led me

★ and it turned out the eye glassware at the mert alas gin release party ended up being used in the promo photos for the stuff

★karlie did a ‘comeback’ -esque spread for WSJ and she delivered

-add this to the list of potential cross-media tie in opportunities that surely weren’t intentional but i would point to in terms of what she could potentially do should she want to bring back this level of easter egging for reputation TV

★ waking up again to some uncanny carolina herrera hijinks

★ karlie blocking an eye again 🙈

-i talked a little bit about the evil eye ring making it’s appearances with the angel wing ring

★ like i said, this karlie post waiting for me when i woke up thing, it became a morning ritual

-there was a red tv album print mishap… istg the way i moved (is this what the kids say)

★ taylor blocked an eye in her new years reel

so there you have it, folks! 2021, a kaylor year that had me throwing my hands up and deciding to bend with the wind and roll with the punches… paid dividends?! i included the ephemera (the winks and out of frames) just because i see them as a sustainable avenue for the dreary new parent, but all these aside it still blows my mind how many distinctly significant things happened in conjunction with the theory this year and i hope very very deeply and earnestly that each and every one of you may have had the chance to crack a smile or two as well 😌

its weird… seeing karlie and mert photographed gave me this lavish sense of… coming full circle! but 🥰 who knows what next year will bring. what can i say, as if it was my greco-roman destiny, i know i will always beat the drum for this theory if they will have me. eye can’t help myself!

have a happy new year🥳

[jeongvision]

make a wish

synopsis. jaehyun loves you very much; so much that he came over to your place at midnight to wish you a happy birthday. meanwhile, you also love jaehyun very much; so much that you think that he deserves a very special present from you even on your birthday.

pairing. boyfriend! jeong jaehyun ✗ fem! reader

genre. smut, fluff if you squint a little, established relationship au

word count. 2.9k

warnings. cursing, sexual themes (marking, fingering, choking, grinding, dirty talking, degradation, cum play, power play), some religious analogies

author’s note. make a wish english ver. is making me feel some type of way and jaehyun looking expensive in the mv is not helping me so i had to let it out somehow, so enjoy this thirsty work of art lmao

Today is your birthday, and all Jaehyun planned was to come over to your apartment at midnight with cake and sing you a happy birthday. After that, he’s all yours for the day. You’re free to do whatever you want, whenever you want with him for 24 hours. He was thinking maybe all you wanted to do is just stay in and cuddle while binge watching some netflix shows. Maybe order takeout if you’re feeling a little lazy to cook, and perhaps a few makeout sessions together here and there if you were feeling it. He could tell from your voice how exhausted you were from your work schedule based on the past couple phone calls.

What he did not expect however, is for you to be straddling his hips as you mark his neck up with purples and blues right after you blew out the candles.

And neither did you.

But that’s what makes it all fun, right?

You arrived at your apartment earlier close to 11 at night. work was tiring today. You work as a full-time cashier at a huge department store down the street. It was decent pay, enough to pay for your expenses and live life a little. You didn’t mind how demanding it could be sometimes, how customers can go from being exceptionally patient with your work to customers being absurdly rude to you for just breathing.

However, some of your coworkers called out for a week due to ‘personal reasons’, whatever that may be. Because of that, your manager has been scheduling everyone to work more to make up for all the missing shifts, including you.

You honestly didn’t mind it.

The only time you do is when it doesn’t allow you enough time to regenerate your social battery that you’ve been draining every night for the past two weeks. And every night before your shift ends, without fail, you always think to yourself how much you can’t wait to go home, take a nice, warm bath, and drift off to sleep, only for you to repeat the cycle again the next day. Oh, and maybe call up your boyfriend, if he was still awake, and talk about each other’s day for a bit.

But today is a little different— you finally get a day off to yourself.

You did your nightly after-work ritual: dinner, shower, bath, doze off a little, rinse, dry up, all that good stuff. But once you got dressed and finished blow-drying your hair, your doorbell rang exactly at midnight. You weren’t expecting any visitors this late, so it was reasonable that you were suspicious.

Who the hell? You were on high alert when you walked over to your front door, a wooden baseball in hand. When you went to take a look through the peephole, there was nothing but confusion all over your face. Why is Jaehyun here? As you pondered on, you noticed he held a beige box in both of his hands. As you peered closer you caught glimpse of the familiar label on its right side: it was from none other than your favorite bakery shop.

And that’s when it hit you.

It’s midnight.

You boyfriend is standing right outside your door, holding a box from your favorite bakery shop.

It’s your freaking birthday today.

You didn’t expect Jaehyun to be at your doorstep with a box of cake in his hands. In fact, you didn’t expect to see him at all on your birthday. You remembered him mentioning he had to work on your birthday. He felt bad that he couldn’t spend time with you. There’s always another day, love, you said to him.

And here you two are in the present: the candles have already been lit, birthday song have been sang, and the tiny smoke from the candles wafts through the air after you blew them out. Jaehyun told you that he called off work to spend the day with you and you were free to do whatever you wanted to do with him. You initially thought that spending the whole day inside lazing around would be the most perfect idea ever after all those strenuous hours at work.

But you had another idea in mind, an idea that stayed in the back of your mind after he sent you a scandalous text last week, stating all the things he wanted to do with you behind closed doors, away from public’s view. Of course he had to conveniently send it during your work shift and your nosy coworker just happened to peer over your shoulder reading the contents. It was all pure jest, my love, he said to you.

A joke it may be, but there’s no harm in making them come true, right?

Your arms are circled around his neck, legs stationed on either side of his legs with your ass planted firmly on his lap. You’re both sat on your living room couch, bodies pressed against each other with the cake long forgotten on your coffee table behind you. His hands are tucked underneath your shirt, caressing your soft skin.

As you continue to nip all over his neck, marking him up, he maneuvers his hands down to your rear, giving them a light squeeze. You sigh at his touch.

“Baby girl,” he grunts, “just what do you think you’re doing?”

You nip at a particular spot on his neck and he groans out loud. God, just the sound of him is enough for you to wet your panties. After licking down on his skin, you pull away from his neck and look down at your creation— there are blue and purple galaxies all over his throat, his lips are red and had a little swell to them from your sloppy makeout session earlier, and the eyes he looks at you with are filled with nothing but carnal lust for you.

You can’t help but feel pride burst in your chest because you did that. You made him, Jung Jaehyun, your boyfriend, look like that.

You gave him a lopsided grin, and he thinks to himself how he can’t wait to wreck you apart inside and out. “What does it look like I’m doing?” you cooed. You can feel his clothed erection poke at your thigh, pulsating underneath, so you grind on it teasingly, watching as his eyes roll back with his mouth open. “I’m just doing what my boyfriend wished for me to do through our text messages the other day. I wanted to show how appreciative I am that he came over and wished me a happy birthday.”

You face moves closer to his, your lips a breath away from his own. You lower your voice down to a whisper, “Is that wrong for me to do?”

He releases a throaty groan. You can feel him bucking up to gain some friction on his dick but you lifted your hips up a little from his lap. “Fuck,” he grunts.

You giggle softly at his reaction. You were never the one to take charge in bed. Jaehyun was always the one to initiate something and follow through with it. You didn’t mind it. In fact, you loved it. but the power you felt over him now was But you feel drunk on the feeling; you savored it, you felt intoxicated, and you wanted more.

Fuck it, screw those text messages. Let’s change it up a little, shall we? How about you take charge for the night?

But little did you know, that is exactly the opposite of what he was going to give you. It may be your birthday, but there’s no way in hell that you’re going to top tonight. You already mentioned those text messages he forgot about, and there’s no way he’s going to make you turn your words back on it.

Before you could even register anything, his right hand that was planted on your ass moves to your front where he cupped your clothed sex. You gasp, eyes blown out, hands now gripping onto his shoulders.

“O-oh!” you mewl.

And so, the reins have been handed over to him. As it should, he thinks. He smirks a little. His fingers rubs against your core at an agonizingly slow pace just to tease you a bit. He could feel the heat radiating off your body and wanted nothing more than to bask in it.

Just as he was about to move his hand away, you grab his wrist to hold it in place.

“Mm.. more..” you quiver.

He clicks his tongue. “Dirty little whore.”

After feeling how your thin shorts were starting to get drenched, he pulls his hand away from your grasp and shoves them inside your panties. Immediately, he can feel you dripping, his fingers and palm collecting all of your essence. His fingers deftly circle your clit before gliding them back and forth on your soaked folds.

Your mind is in a spiral.

“Holy fuck!” And holy, his fingers are, especially when he inserts two fingers inside your pussy. “O-oh my god, Jaehyun-n!”

He sadistically thrusts in and out of your entrance, his thumb stimulating your nub, your moans getting more fervent. “Acting all spoiled just because I’m letting you do whatever you want with me for your birthday. Just who do you think you are? Should I remind you who’s the one in charge here?” he growls.

You whimper at his words, shamelessly grinding yourself onto his hand as his other wraps snugly around the back of your neck.

He grins, face dangerously close to you now. “Now look at you, all fucked out from only my fingers. This pussy just can’t wait for me to fuck you nice and deep, huh? Is that what you want?”

You didn’t answer him, your mind too preoccupied from the bliss his fingers are giving to you. The sweat forming on your skin created a glistening sheen on your exposed collarbone, and all he wants to do is to just ravage it.

And he just might.

His hand wrapped around your neck tightens a little, sending more pleasure through your body and core.

“Answer me, slut.”

You cry out a little, “Y-yes.”

“Yes, what?”

You fail to swallow back your moans. “I-I want you to.. fuck me nice and- oh!”

His fingers hit that delicious spot inside you, your body jerking in response.

“Fuck you nice and what?”

Your sighs come out shakily, “Nice a-and.. deep, with your c-cock- oh my god!”

“God can’t save you now, fucking slut.”

He feels you tightening around his fingers, sending him to fasten his pace. Your grip on his shoulder intensifies, enough to painfully indent his skin. After a few more thrusts from his fingers, a coil inside you snaps, stars blurring your vision as a shockwave overtakes you. You did nothing to suppress your screams as your juices flowed out your core. His fingers continue to thrust in and out of you throughout your orgasm but finally stops as he sees you start to calm down.

Your breathing is erratic, trying to catch up after that earth-shattering orgasm you just experienced. After he feels you relax in his embrace, he lets go of your neck and rests it on your waist. He pulls his fingers out of your pussy and you shuddered at the loss of contact. Your cum slowly drips out of you onto your panties and shorts, some of it gliding onto your thighs where he can visibly see it.

God, does he want to have a taste. You’re definitely going to need some new shorts and undies now. With your half-opened eyes in a complete daze and your breathing evened out, he brings his fingers to your lips, staring dauntingly at your orbs.

“Suck.”

And you obliged. He pushes his fingers past your mouth and you suck on his fingers, tasting yourself. Your tongue swirls around his digits, all while maintaining eye contact with him.

He gravely groans at the sight. “So naughty..” He pulls his fingers away and takes hold of your chin, ravenously capturing your lips with his own, tasting a little bit of you in the process. Your tongue glides past his as he dominates your mouth whole. Your arms wrap around his neck once more, pulling him closer to your soul. His lips are always soft, and yet he kisses you as if he wants to devour you up until your knees buckled.

He breaks away from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting the two of you, and he maneuvers his way down to your throat.

Now it was his turn to paint your neck pretty.

“So fucking naughty for me,” he moans. As he assaults your neck, you rack your nails through his hair, gently pulling on its ends. You could feel him sigh onto your neck as a result of it. He honestly loves it when you pull onto his hair, almost a little too much.

After he was satisfied with his artwork, he looks back up to you and delicately pecks your lips. The corner of his mouth lifts, his dimples now on full display. “Happy birthday, baby.”

You tiredly giggle at the complete change in his demeanor. You were so in love with this man, and you would do anything to make him happy.

“Thank you, my love.”

He grins at you. And he was so in love with you, he would do anything to keep you happy.

He kisses you once again, this time with much more passion and purpose. He held onto your waist as you held onto his neck, enjoying each other’s presence. Afterr staying in each other’s embrace for some time, foreheads touching, a thought popped in Jaehyun’s head.

“You know, you never told me what you wished for.”

Oh, but what is there to wish for when your present is right in front of you?

You shrug your shoulders, “It’s nothing really.”

He tsks out loud, “Baby, we both know that’s a lie.” He moves away from you and leans forward to the side of your face. And all of the sudden, you feel him nibbling your earlobe, kitten licks in between.

You bite down on your lip, struggling to keep your composure together. Surely, you were still recovering from your last orgasm— the attention he was giving to you got you feeling aroused for him again.

He snickers gravely.

Oh how fucking sinful the sound of that is.

“Come on, baby girl. Just tell me. Maybe I can make your wish come true.”

The moan you just released was lecherous to him.

“Answer me, then you shall receive.”

The devil works hard, but Jaehyun works harder.

You quiver at his command. No matter how many times you were intimate with each other, you could never get used to all the dirty talk. Jaehyun was always clear-cut about his wants and needs, but you never were. Mot until you’re pushed on the spot like now.

You swallow down your embarrassment and meekly respond. “I-I.... suck you..”

He stops his teasing and backs up to look at you. “Hm? What was that?” His smirk returns. “I didn’t quite catch that. Speak up, baby. Use your words.”

You refuse to answer, but he pays no mind. You’ll eventually cave in, you always do.

“Baby, I’m waiting.”

You close your eyes and let out a sigh. “I didn’t wish for anything.”

“And why is that?”

You eyes opened up but you look away from his gaze, humiliation all over. Hou stammer over your words, “B-Because.. you’re my birthday wish.”

He lazily grins, bringing his left hand to cup your cheek. That’s when you decided to look up into his eyes. “And what do you wish to do with me?”

You gulp. “I want to.. suck you.”

“Suck where exactly?”

Fucking hell. He’s enjoying this way more than you are. Just who is getting their birthday present here? You groan out in a frustrated manner. To hell with this.

“Your cock. I want your cock in my mouth. O want your fucking dick in my mouth and I want you to use my mouth and fuck it like your own personal toy.” After realizing that you just said, you gasp and covered your mouth with both of your hands. You’re now embarrassed out of your mind, completely wanting the ground to just swallow you up.

You just said that to him, but Jaehyun found it quite adorable that you were capable of saying such things.

And so, he removes your hand from your face, grips on your wrist, and kisses you, a loud smooch throughout the room. After that, he places one of your hands onto his prominent bulge, painstakingly waiting for you attention this entire time. “Baby, you don’t have to say it twice.”

And you couldn’t have been quicker. You step off of him, assuming position with your knees on the floor. He hastily stands up from your couch and works on unzipping his jeans with your help. After pulling his dick out, your mouth waters. Veins aligned along its sides, red at the tip with precum leaking out.

He chuckles at you. “Aren’t you an eager little whore?”

Your eyes shoot up to his, eyes sinfully taking you in. “Just can’t wait to have my cock in your mouth, huh? Greedy little whore. zi bet all you want is my cum in your mouth.” He clicks his tongue.

With one hand on his member and the other holding onto the back of your head, you look down at his shaft. You feel him guiding your head towards him. With your mouth wide open, tongue splayed out for him, you could hear the grin in his voice.

“Happy birthday, baby girl. Now make a wish and blow.”

[jikookuntold]

Jungkook and His Cover Songs: Is “10000 Hours” about Jimin?

Disclaimer: The following post includes theories, lyric and numeric analysis, plus my personal opinions, so please don’t take anything seriously. I’m too lazy to upload photos and videos for the moments I mentioned here, but I’m sure you know about them all. Any Jikooker must know. And I’m not Korean or a Korean culture expert, I just know as much as any Stan Twitter ARMY knows about their culture.

Anyone?

Maybe one of the biggest Jikook moments of 2021 so far, is where Jimin jumped into Jungkook’s hug, in Lee Hyun’s Vlog. But the other moment on that Vlog was even more significant; Jungkook was singing “Anyone” from Justin Bieber’s new album, and Jimin was harmonizing with him while holding on his shirt. I don’t want to mention their interview moment singing “Peaches” because I know this song is super popular in South Korea right now and somehow it doesn’t count as a moment. But it’s safe to say that Jikook has something special with his songs, and JK in particular always was invested in him. 

JK & JB

The reason behind Jungkook’s devotion to Justin Bieber was always a big question for me, and I got my answer not long time ago. Jungkook’s playlist for Melon Radio Station included a song from JB’s new album named “Lonely”. This is one of the most personal songs any artist can ever make, and JK recommended it to his audience. Here are the lyrics of “Lonely” by Justin Bieber:

Everybody knows my name now

But somethin' 'bout it still feels strange

Like lookin' in a mirror, tryna steady yourself

And seein' somebody else

And everything is not the same now

It feels like all our lives have changed

Maybe when I'm older, it'll all calm down

But it's killin' me now

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

I'm so lonely, lonely

Everybody knows my past now

Like my house was always made of glass

And maybe that's the price you pay

For the money and fame at an early age

And everybody saw me sick

And it felt like no one gave

They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid

What if you had it all, but nobody to call?

Maybe then you'd know me

'Cause I've had everything

But no one's listening

And that's just lonely

These lyrics made me think of one specific thing, the thing that JK and JB have in common: They started their careers at a very young age, and their lives have been under the scrutiny of so many people. These people judged and criticized them but never tried to understand them. The lyrics are straightforward and leave no place for interpretation. By recommending this song, JK showed that he had (and probably still has) the same experiences in his life, and I think the reason he recommends or covers JB’s songs more than any other artist is that he has many things in common with him, and feels connected to his songs. 

This can lead us to another theory: By covering a Justin Bieber song, Jungkook shares something about himself with us, something that he can’t express directly.

Jungkook is interested in JB’s songs, but he is not the only one. As I said earlier in this post, Jimin shares the same taste with Jungkook, and my receipt is not just that “Anyone” or “Peaches” harmonizing moments, but also Jimin’s Spotify playlists. Since 2017 (or earlier, I’m not sure about this part) he has added some JB songs to his official playlist, and even his current playlist (July 2021) has two JB songs. And also let’s not forget the fact that Jikook as a subunit started in 2014 with a JB cover. Yes, I’m talking about “Mistletoe” and as you may know, Jimin translated the lyrics of this song to Korean. 

10000 Hours

Nearly 700 words and I haven’t started yet! The subject of this post was supposed to be the connections between “10000 hours” cover and Jikook but this prelude was necessary to clarify all the aspects of the topic and we find out how JB is special for JK and Jimin and how they (especially Jungkook) feel connected to him. Anyways, back to 10000 hours:

Dan + Shay and Justin Bieber released this Grammy winner song in October 2019. Here are the lyrics: 

Do you love the rain, does it make you dance

When you're drunk with your friends at a party

What's your favorite song, does it make you smile

Do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Do you miss the road that you grew up on?

Did you get your middle name from your grandma?

When you think about your forever now, do you think of me?

When you close your eyes, tell me, what are you dreamin'?

Everything, I wanna know it all

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

Ooh, want the good and the bad and everything in between

Ooh, gotta cure my curiosity

Ooh, yeah

I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more

Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that

Sweet heart of yours

And I might never get there, but I'm gonna try

If it's ten thousand hours or the rest of my life

I'm gonna love you

And I'm gonna love you

As you can see, the lyrics are 100% romantic, and the singers including JB, have dedicated this song to their lovers. Also, their girlfriends/wives have a cameo in the MV, which leaves no place for speculation for the context of the song: Even though the uncertainties always exist and no one knows about the future, our love is strong and will stay strong regardless of time. 

The Cover and the Theories

Nearly one year later, on July 28th, 2020, Jungkook surprised ARMYs with a short video he tweeted at 11:56 AM. That video was a 49 seconds cover of 10000 hours. A few minutes later, he deleted the tweet (apparently with the advertisement excuses, because it was tweeted from an iPhone and they have a contract with Samsung). Later that night, Jungkook released the full version on Sound Cloud and tweeted the link at 11:47 PM. 

Jikookers discovered numerous theories that day about the times of both tweets; if you add the digits of the time, the result is “13” for both tweets 1+1+4+7=13, 1+1+5+6=13, and as you already know “13” is Jikook’s magic number. Also, the first video he tweeted was 49 seconds and 4+9=13. But in my opinion, this theory is not strong. I know that numerology is very popular in Korean culture but still, all of this can be coincidences, but the other things I’m going to bring up are most likely not. 

28th July 2020 was the 7th anniversary of the first Jikook selca posted after debut. This also might be a coincidence and to be honest, it cannot be a strong link to make a connection with Jikook, but worths sharing. 

The next thing that many Jikookers also pointed out, was related to the title of the song. The lyrics say “10000 hours and 10000 more” and 20000 hours after the 28th of July is 8th November 2022. As you may know. Jikookers believe November 8th is a significant date for Jikook. I believe this can be a coincidence either, and it’s very unlikely of Jungkook to do such calculations (Koreans are interested in numbers when it comes to days and dates, but counting hours is not usual in any culture. Other than that, I’m still doubtful about the origins of the November 8th theory because we have nothing other than two tweets and G.C.F Tokyo release date and their hotel room in Tokyo which still can be coincidental). But I don’t deny these theories because even as a coincidence, it’s still very interesting. 

And the next theory is connected to the “Red Moon”. On 27th July 2018, a total lunar eclipse happened all over the world, which became known as the red moon. At that time, BTS were in Malta, and on the same night, Jikook were watching the red moon on a boat. They shared plenty of photos and videos of that moment and I’m sure as a Jikooker you have seen them all and you know that night had a very romantic mood (BigHit words, not mine) for Jikook. So, a second anniversary for that night and the day after that night can be a significant date to release a very romantic cover. Is this a coincidence too? I think we had many of them already.

And last but not least is something connected to Korean culture. You probably know that 1000 days anniversaries are very important for Koreans and they celebrate them along with real anniversaries of the important dates in their lives. And guess what? 27th July 2020 is 1000 days after 31 October 2017. This day is the day Jikook’s travel to Tokyo ended and they posted their couply mirror selca on Twitter with flower bouquet emoji. Despite the one-day difference (the same case for the red moon anniversary), this is not a minor event or small coincidence. I believe Jungkook posted “10000 hour” cover for this reason and based on this, the other theories I mentioned earlier can be true either. 

The lyrics hit different if you read them again, after knowing this fact. Right? I don’t want to make this post much longer but before wrapping up, I want to talk about the lyrics of “Anyone” by JB (the song Jikook were harmonizing in Lee Hyun’s Vlog):

Dance with me under the diamonds

See me like breath in the cold

Sleep with me here in the silence

Come kiss me, silver and gold

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

So, just hold on like you will never let go

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone (anyone)

Not anyone

Forever's not enough time to (oh)

Love you the way that I want (love you the way that I want)

'Cause every morning I find you (oh)

I fear the day that I don't

You say that I won't lose you

But you can't predict the future

'Cause certain things are out of our control

Yeah, if you ever move on without me

I need to make sure you know that

You are the only one I'll ever love

Only one (I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (I've ever done)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

It's not anyone, not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, oh

If it's not you, it's not anyone

Oh, oh, oh, yeah, whoa

Yeah, you are the only one I'll ever love

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

(I gotta tell ya, gotta tell ya) gotta tell ya

Looking back on my life

You're the only good I've ever done (ever done, oh, yeah)

Yeah, you, if it's not you, it's not anyone

If you read the lyrics, you will notice that the context is very similar to “10000 hours”. It talks about the uncertainties of a beautiful love or in other words: No matter what the future brings to us, this love will last forever. 

This context of uncertainty and unknown future for a romance is a common concept in many of the songs Jungkook has covered and it’s not limited to the Justin Bieber covers he has done and maybe this concept can be the topic for my next analysis. 

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

What do you think of JM’s updated Spotify? I don’t normally read into things, but his song choices makes me sad. “At my worst” “I can’t be myself (excuse me while I cry) & “When was it over?” With the lyrics “was it that fight we didn’t have when I came in? Was it the first time you saw me drunk? Second time I said I’m sorry?” It sounds like a replay of Vmins dumpling incident and it worries me. JM looked off in the recent live, almost sad and pouty lately. Do you think I’m over analyzing it?

Admin 1: The short answer to this would be: yes, you are over analyzing things.

The longer one would be that, for example, Pink Sweat$'s At My Worst isn't a sad song, it's actually the exact opposite. It's a very cute and romantic song. Just look at the first verse:

Can I call you baby? Can you be my friend? Can you be my lover up until the very end? Let me show you love, oh, no pretend Stick by my side even when the world is caving in, yeah

I'd actually argue this kinda sounds like a mixture between Sweet Night and Friends when it comes to the sentiment of those words. I’ve seen some people even claim that this will replace Ed Sheeran’s romantic songs that have so far been used at every wedding ever because of how sweet it is.

Then we have Justin Bieber’s I can’t be myself which I believe you probably only looked at the title and jumped to conclusions because, again, this isn’t a sad song either. The lyrics are more about how Justin (or whoever) cannot be himself when you (I’d guess he likely means his wife) isn’t by his side, thus wanting to say that he is happiest and most himself when they are together. It’s sweet and lovely, not sad.

I could travel any place But without you, it's just runnin' around (Girl, I'm just runnin' around) They could open Heaven's gates But without you, I'm just stuck in the clouds (Yeah, yeah)

Lastly, from the songs you specifically highlighted, is Sasha Sloan’s when was it over? which yes, I’ll admit this one is a sad song about not being able to let go even though you know there is nothing left. The song though has a very calm sound, something you’d listen to in the evening, and something I could see both him and Tae like listening to, not because Jimin relates to the lyrics but because it’s simply a pretty song.

On my current playlist I have Stromae’s Formidable, a song about a heartbroken man getting wasted after a breakup. I’ve neither gotten my heart broken nor am I sad and yet I still love this song because it’s just a really good song. Sometimes that’s the only reason we need to listen to a song. Nothing more to it.

All that to say that I don’t believe there is any correlation whatsoever to be made here, especially since Tae and Jimin look more than happy in recent months (did you notice Jimin happily smiling at Tae during their most recent performance of Butter for Colbert at the beginning of their subunit dance?) and there is nothing that could indicate to us that something went wrong between them, or that Jimin could be sad or something bad going on with him. I mean, look at JKs playlist and the fact that he has Billie Eilish’s Your Power on it, applying your thought process, does that mean that JK is trying to tell us he went through something similar to Billie? That he is sad? Or do you think he simply recommended that song because he likes Billie’s music? The last one seems the most likely, doesn’t it?

So, to sum it all up, there is absolutely no need to worry, seriously.

Admin 2: In the evenings, when it's very quiet and my big city has fallen asleep, I really enjoy listening to Sweet Night. I also like to go back to 4 O'Clock from time to time (although I know I will cry). Does that mean I missed my chance in life to be with my beloved? No and no again! I've never been in a situation like this, I wasn't unhappy or "fragily" in love, no one abandoned me or cheated on me. I listen to these songs because I love them. They match the mood of the evening and calm me down despite the sad lyrics and let me fall asleep peacefully.

I am a person who listens to a lot of songs from the past; Songs that remind me of situations, remind me of years of studying, enable me to relive certain situations.

Dear Anon, thank you very much for your question (confession), but I admit that I see it as "looking for some kind of backdoor" so to speak, a way to create a loophole and deny everything after all.

I don't know who you are, I don't know if you really are a Vminnie, but I think you are clinging to any possibility of a situation to undermine the reality or existence of Vmin. That's how I see it, if I offend you, I apologize. The more we get new materials about Tae and Jimin every day, like them being cute in the McDonald's behind the scenes, the more such "sad thoughts" we get sent to us through asks every day.

Firstly, I'm not sure if Jimin (and Taehyung) is fluent enough in English to capture the accuracy of the lyrics and understand its message. Of course, you can translate it, but for that to happen first the song has to catch your attention, and usually it's the melody and the overall feeling of a song that does it, and not the lyrics. And that is the point!

I think Jimin picked these tracks because he simply likes them. Perhaps he first paid attention to the melodies and the mood and only then understood the lyrics sometime later.

A lot of people (including me) hear some kind of song instead of another because they are intrigued by the melody or the association with a particular situation. The mood that fits the moment, the weather, the time of day or many other things which lead us to choose this song and not another.

Maybe Jimin and Taehyung were driving at night and listening to the song on the radio, maybe they were in a romantic mood back then, just having dinner together or taking a half bath together. Ha ha, I know I am deceiving and romanticizing what I am saying to reflect the vast possibilities and reasons why you listen to music like this and no other. Jimin putting together this list of songs for his spotify playlist doesn't mean he listens to it all the time, every day, but that he has the songs he likes on his list and chose the ones he wants to hear right now, or that he thought ARMY could like.

Of course, I'm sure he listens to very different songs during exercising than the one lying in bed before falling asleep. Maybe he's listening to this list, just like we hear the songs from BTS? We know individual words after repeating them several times, and we generally know (as we decide to read translations) what is going on in a particular song, but we don't understand all the words accurately. Not all of us are in the same situation as described in a particular song, but still we listen to it because we like it, because BTS sings it, because we are waiting for a solo from Suga etc. etc. etc.

For some time now we have been seeing (I see) Vmin happy, even very happy, as if "after the night the day came and after the storm came peace" (by the way, these are the words of one of my favorite songs), I have the impression that Vmin have finished fighting all their fights and they are just happy now, finally. Taehyung looks like a million dollars, he's literally glowing and far more lively than he was a year ago.

To him, Jimin is like smooch like butter and someone he likes the most. Taehyung is a handsome and hot chingu for Jimin who he also likes him the most as well. Tell me dear Anon, where is there room for fear and doubt in the love they share? Why and on what basis do you suspect that Vmin has broken up, or is having problems, or that either of them is unhappy? Besides, if one of them has an off day or is simply tired after a packet schedule and thus doesn't look as animated, why is that immediately read as "Jimin and Tae aren't together anymore" or "they are drifting apart" when chances are far more likely that it has nothing to do with their bond? Based on the playlist, or based on Vlive, or maybe based on both of these events, what is the correlation?

I've seen the Vlive. To tell the truth, I didn't see a sad and pouty Jimin there. Instead, I saw Taehyung smiling and content, and Jimin smiled and admired Tae's new hairstyle. I watched the latest BTS interviews. Vmin stared at each other, Jimin stared at Tae with a big smile that only grew in size and the two communicated with their eyes.

Jimin caressed Taehyung's back/butt in the Butter MV making Episode and said there’s butter here (though it wasn’t translated in the subs).

In the McD ad they were together and standing next to each other, even with Jimin resting his head on Tae's shoulder and then Jimin eating Tae's chicken nugget from his hand.

Honestly, I don't know what else Vmin would have to do to keep people from doubting their bond and happiness. They have shown us so much, I think they have reached the limit of what can be said without saying it bluntly.

Most importantly, this is a very interesting situation as we have never had as much "dubious news/content" (not meant negatively at all) as we have now after Taehyung's interview with his ‘confession’/clarification about Sweet Night. To me it smells a bit like someone wants to cause fear or plant the seed of doubt, or be like a trojan horse with the underlying idea of course being that "well...we must be wrong" even though there’s no reason for us to believe/think that.

[nightswithkookmin]

Hi Goldy! I am curious about your take on how Jikook are edited in the behind the scenes clips since October (such as the ones for the Life Goes on music video, ABC Holiday Dynamite, and the Japan one (search on youtube for BTS japan shoot || behind the scene of Japan)). Do you think Jikook are interacting less, being just friends, being more professional, or is BigHit editing their interactions out? It just seems so different from the ones before Oct (FILA, Dynamite MV, Season's Greetings 2021)

Huh???😲😲😲

BigHit is doing what what now?😥

Do you mean that as a fact or theory?🤔

Why though?👀 They are not Tae Kook? 😥

There's Bangtan video of Jimin with his third leg dangling loose in the air somewhere on the internet, I don't think BigHit is that savvy.

Lmho. I mean I see what you mean but they are editors and cutting is what they do for a living. But this is Jikook sis. I don't see BigHit's incentive for 'cutting' Jikook's moments and you shouldn't assume that-

Unless...

You don't think Jikook's been groping eachother homoerotically on set lately have you? Cos, chile I'll believe that! I don't trust Jikook anywhere near eachother's vicinity and personal space.

I've seen enough to traumatize the devil himself. Chilee. Lol.

Bighit, in recent times, mostly tend to cut scenes and moments if they are a bit risqué. Like JK shoving his butt in Jimin's groin face, sliding his hands down Tae's chest...

Often times too they cut moments if its redundant. If a part of a scene is already in the main content they don't bother showing it in the behind scenes. From my observation.

When an interaction is awkward they skip it too, I feel. I mean I am still waiting to see JK touching all over Jimin and feeling him up in Run 106- honey, I'll pay to watch that shit with my kidneys. Lol.

Often too they save some scenes for memories or some other shit that they use all those pent up footages for. Lol.

BigHit is a business, they produce content that per their research and analytics garners more engagement, audience retention and a whole other metrics. They put a lot of creativity into what they do as creatives and artists- I mean if the baby noises is anything to go by. Those bites are tired!

But often times too, they're tired and they're lazy, and they just put anything together and toss it out there without giving it much thought- isn't that how they leave Jin or Tae out of packages, how certain Jikook moments that should have never made it into screen time ended up in screen time- how JM's third leg made it to the internet? They should have cut that shit before uploading it with those subtitles and yet here we are.

I think people give BigHit too much credit- talking about JK shouldn't gay panic and run away from certain moments with JM if he knows BigHit editors are going to cut those moments.... JM's dixk begs to differ. Chilee, Jimin you should have just worn pants. Can't trust these phony ass editors my guy.

The editing is really not a big deal. Not to me. But I love your question anyway. Especially the bits about what's different about Jikook and the content BigHit has been putting out since October.

Well something sure did go down in October, I don't care what anybody says.

I keep saying BigHit banks on the bond and intimacy of the boys, and the boys are more than happy to showcase their bond for the cameras just as Tae said and confirmed in a recent interview- Tuktukkers y'all did an Oopsie on the whole Taekook don't like to show their bond on cameras! Lol

Tae said it himself not me- he lives to showcase his bond with the other members. *where is my skull head emoji. Lmho.

I think what has changed since JM's birthday in October to now, to me where BigHit is concerned, is the general marketing strategy of the company.

It seems to me the company is adopting a marketing module opposite of the strategy they had been using before the pandemic. I think I've talked about this though...

Hate to say I said it, but I said it. Lol.

They are limiting access to the boys to drive sales as and when. BTS dominates the internet and have amassed greater reach and attention partly due to the free content they put out on the internet. But those were never monitised- not in a direct or significant way.

In the wake of the virus, they've had to monetize their online presence. A single tweet from their Twitter account is a phone brand promotion as I pointed out in past posts. There's been an increase in their sponsorship collaborations, in Soop and many of the content they've put up this year. They even turned on ads on their YT channels it seems.

Like I've been saying, this situation is global and novel, they are going to experiment with means and methods till they find that sweet spot and that is what I feel we are experiencing- amongst other things.

Unfortunately for us, our access to Jikook is gonna take a hit like I said before because the numbers are in their favor. I mean go to their YouTube page and see the metrics for yourself.

Jikook's holiday remix pulls way ahead of their counterparts. If their going to monetize any ship brand in BTS it's Jikooks. Trust. But that doesn't mean any ship in BTS is spared.

Someone asked me a while back, when I talked about this, whether all these changes the company was going through was going to affect the way Jikook interact on camera and I couldn't answer that with conviction then.

But I mean we are seeing a subtle, if not drastic change in the way Jikook interact with eachother and with their glass closet.

What that means for us, I think, is the company is going to choose when and where to show us content and certain interactions but that doesn't mean Jikook aren't interacting- know what I mean? I mean they have them. The juicy moments that's gonna make us slap our mamas. BigHit has it all. They are just gonna save it for as and when based on their marketing strategy, if you know what I mean.

I mean we all saw that blackswan performance, we all saw the holiday remix performance etc.

And you are right about the less interactions post October and I've shared my thoughts on it so I won't go into it. But I will state again that they are not broken up either, not to me. Lol.

I think we need to examine what interacting less means. To me, I consider Jikook interacting less if they have an opportunity to interact and they don't interact in a way that is usual of them.

Majority of the content we've gotten in recent times are pretty much very official contents, interviews, etc. The entire BE era, as I said is not about Jikook or even BigHit.

It's about BTS, all seven and Jikook can't monopolize the shine like they tend to do in other BigHit marketed contents in my opinion.

Jimin tried to be funny and chill in the dynamite mv and RM nearly went ninja turtle on his ass when he called him out for not taking things seriously enough during the shoot- Left to grandpa Joonie, the kids will sleep at five. Lol.

Seriously though, there is a huge gap between what BTS views as marketing and marketable and what Jikook or even BigHit views as marketing, in my opinion. And conversations like that between RM and Jimin goes to prove it.

Another interesting thing about this whole marketing approach is how BigHit isn't substituting any other particular pair in Jikook's stead. I see them giving equal screan time to the individual members- well not in a technical sense but I think you know what I mean.

Are Jikook required to be professional in certain situations, absolutely. And in previous years, I think they took too many liberties with it. But as I said, now more than ever they are learning and need to learn to read the room because they wouldn't be able to get away with much if they don't.

BE is a self produced project, after Soop- after when they were isolated to help them bond and repair fractures in their bond. If there were anything they were not happy with that led to Soop, trust that they are going to fix it post Soop and it's going to reflect in every sphere of their interactions.

RM for example has chilled on his monitoring and censorship of Jikook, Jikook have been pretty considerate of the group and have tried not to do anything to have RM pop a vein, Tae has been stepping up too- with the members going out their way to praise him and push him to the fore front of the group unlike in previous years *cough cough I don't want trouble but chilee.

I mean Jimin pointed it out in the Be behind when he said Tae was working hard and putting his best foot forward because the members had been showering him with lots of compliments in recent times and he wasn't kidding.

In the LGO comeback live, RM praised Tae for working hard forgetting it wasn't just Tae and JM's reaction was telling. Of course he backpedaled to compliment JM too.

Suga did the same thing in the Be behind video when he was talking about JM and praising him- I mean it's Suga and his Jimin, uWu. But then he too backpedaled to compliment Tae when he realized what he was doing and I was like CAN SOMEONE PRAISE KOOKIE TOO PLEASE AND THANK YOU. Lol.

Anywho, the company is equally chilling on their Jikook agenda which I have speculated on several ttimes so won't get into- it's all so very kumbaya and God, I hate it. Lol.

Give me the chaos goddammit!

I feel Jlkook loosen up in contents that aren't like super official business moments and that's when you see their domesticity. Lol.

You see them having their me time in the background of some of the content, and in one of the interviews where they were sat a good feet apart but they kept moving closer and closer till eventually after their lunch break cut, they were sat very close to each other.

I'm not a fan of the cameras being shove in their faces during their private moments- Kookie certainly doesn't appreciate that either.

But they are working for a living nonetheless and making content is what they do for a living. So we are definitely gonna get the content from them alright, the fanservice, the organic moments passed off as fanservice, the moments that should never make it to screen- all nine. Lol.

We are just not going to get them in a way we are accustomed to. And it certainly doesn't help that they are each on their own personal growth journeys- gradually disconnecting from their fanbase, I mean Jk's been long gone duh, and Jimin did say he has come to the realization not everyone in the fandom loves him and he is learning to react less strongly to them; which to me translates as bye bitches you don't deserve me. Lol.

I mean dude didn't bother posting for new year this year- y'all Jimin is done with our ass. We might as well pack our bags and join him in Kookie's Casa. I call dibs on the broom closet under the stairs. Lol.

Jikook gets called fanservice and other creepy slurs in this fandom but people forget all of this is their choice too. They choose, are choosing to share all the bits of them they share with us, with us. Inspite of all the hate and insults, they choose to do that- if they did it for the fanservice don't you think they would have called a time out on it long ago because it's not worth it?

I hate it here.

I guess what I'm saying is, you are right about these observations you've made and some of the things you've pointed out are facts.

But we have talked about all of that so it really shouldn't be anything new? Kindly check my previous posts. I think I shared my point of view on what I think is going on with Jikook, BigHit and BTS.

Other than those, I don't think there is anything major up with Jikook honestly. I keep saying I don't think they are broken up. I don't see either of them closed off, emotionally open to connecting with the others.

If anything I said I feel Jimin is falling in love all over again with Kook. I mean when he looks at him he looks to me as if he is seeing Kook in a different light.

And it's funny how all through out 2020 he kept reiterating how his friends and family and relationships were important to him, shading the ef out of Kook during the Japan Stay Gold promos claiming his relationships were important to him and was what was Gold in his life.

He even went on to talk about picking an accent spending time around his friends and talking with his friends around his birthday but suddenly in the Be behind scenes he was talking about how he's come to the realization BTS is his only true friends and how friends come and go.

Clearly he's had an epiphany of a sort and has been through something post his birthday that has him setting his priorities straight in the aftermath.

In his Weverse magazine, he mentioned how he's recently discovered something about himself, about how he loves to be loved. He then went on to clarify that when during festa he talked about having a desire to perform with the members for a long that that he meant to say he wanted to be with them for a very long time.

But then JK said Jimin said that bit to him first. And if this is the interpretation Jimin is giving to that statement then- one plus one is two honey. Numbers don't lie.

Dude don whispered those sweet empty nothings in JK's ear telling him he wants to be with him for a very long time and shit.

And now homeboy out here setting up roots in gay boulevard. I don't think their well is drying up any time soon. Lol.

They are in a honeymoon phase again and they are not showing us. Stingy bastards! Lol

And when JK said to JM in response, that BTS is his home- wow. He really said that...

He is Jimin's home. Literally. Please, my heartu😭

Jikook is real. Please support them.

Signed,

GOLDY

[sunflowerghostvol06]

No judgement - breaking through the mv

This is my intake and analysis that I've done for No judgement by Niall Horan, feel free to comment and differe! But don´t forget to be kind ♥

We all as a colective assume that this song was written for H, right? In a instagram live that Niall did on May 28, 2020 he explains that No judgement is about someone he's known for a long time, mentioning that the lyris are very self explanatory.

You can see it at minute 30:52

Why this is important? Well, because there are a few "coincidences" in the music video that when I first saw it made me think it was full of H references (and possibly Louis/Larry too, but that's just a wild guess, so pinch of salt on this, as I will try to make it as neutral as possible). So I'll explain what I can see.

1) At the very begining of the music video we can see this little figurine right next to Niall, it's right there on top of a pile of books (out of the ot5, H is the one considered as a reader, there are bookstores out there that put up a Harry Styles' book section)

now, this is a hint to me because it takes me back to this moment in the Kiss you mv (2:52)

2) Right after that we have a fishbowl with two fish which had me thinking about William the fish and the Adore you mv (also, something extra, Changes by Cam mv also features a fish and there's a whole theory about that x and x) mind you this music video came out exactly 2 moths later than Adore you mv:

3) The amazing representation of 'Bring back manly men' photoshoot Harry did for Vogue and as a response to the hatred he was receiving, in the music video Niall did this:

We also know that while in 1D H almost always had a thing with eating a banana mid concert, there are memes made out of this, it's just so funny: a quick search on google and you have this as a result

4) Video continues and now we have Niall with his banana and a beautiful couple in front of a bear holding a sunflower. I'm so sorry, I try to make this neutral, but this is just too loud to go unnoticed: a) because there is a fricking bear, and we all know that Louis' nickname is boo bear, H actually called him that a few times (que to the happy birthday, boo bear and thanks boo bear interview) and b) the sunflower, H has a song called Sunflower, vol6 and it's one of the songs that just screams longterm relationship, and there are loads of sunflowers in this mv for it to just be a coincidence

What kills me about this is the fact that as soon as this couple comes in the shot, all of a sudden there's blue everywhere, but not any type of blue, oh no no no, a specific type of blue. And you'all know exactly which one:

And how could I not mention the deliberated use of blue and green here, everything else in the shot is neutral colored but not those in particular. Why? Give me a non-Larry explanation, please, I beg of you

5) we have loads of fruits everywhere, they're there and who in this world is forever associated with fruits? No other that the kiwi, watermelon sugar, cherry, banana guy

6) The fact that there's a fricking birthday cake in the music video, just 5 days after H's birthday. Look at the number, yes, it's one year off because this is 2020 and H turned 26, but still, too much of a coincedence if you ask me (also, it's right in the middle of H's age and Louis' favourite number, just saying)

Something to add, notice how the old man is wearing blue and a bowtie with a hat, we've seen H wearing that type of hats before, and notice how the old lady is the one holding a cigarette.

Anyways, this is as much as I could post, this is what I saw and read from the music video. All in all I'm in love with the song, with Niall's voice and as he said: "No Judgement is one of my favourites I’ve written. Loved writing this song as I knew exactly what I wanted to say. And from blank canvas idea to the most colourful and most fun video to make with my guy Drew Kirsch. What a day with the wonderful Pimm and Barbara, the real stars in this clip. Let’s stop judging each other, life isn’t about that. Enjoy it and enjoy this video! Go and dance like no one is watching."

Hope you have a great day! And happy pride to everyone!

TPWK ♥

[aconstantache]

MY FAVOURITE ROMANCE NOVELS OF 2020

HM: The Minute I Saw You by Paige Toon; Fair As A Star by Mimi Matthews; You Deserve Each Other by Sarah Hogle 

10. Take A Hint, Dani Brown by Talia Hibbert - loved, loved, loved these MCs. They were both so well-realised and multi-faceted. Zafir may be one of my favourite heroes ever and the depiction of a South Asian family here is also an all-time fave?? No boring, tired, sad diaspora vibes? No overused tropes re: Muslims? MIRACULOUS. So Zaf is a romance novel-reading lover of love and Dani is Not About Relationships. Unstoppable force meets immovable object etc etc.

9. Two Rogues Make A Right by Cat Sebastian - the ultimate in hurt/comfort decadence. Literally the entire plot is one person is really sick and the other person spends the entire rest of the book looking after them. LIKE, MAYBE THAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENS?  It takes a bit to get into it but also the sick one is kinda villainous and the one looking after him believes there’s good in him despite all evidence to the contrary. V good dynamic! 

8.  Wild At Heart by K.A. Tucker - I read and LOVED The Simple Wild last year and was so happy the author decided to write a sequel. I would read ALL the books about these two characters just living their life in this universe. I know Tucker is branching out and writing about other characters in the ‘verse and: eh. I only want to read about Calla riding snowmobiles and Jonah telling her how competent she is I’m sorry!!! Wild At Heart focuses less on romance and more on Calla getting used to Alaska but it’s still satisfying seeing them work out how to compromise and start a new life together. 

7. Beach Read by Emily Henry - I love when a romance novel has a lot of hype and it lives up to expectations (see The Roommate for the opposite, ugh that book was bad.) Honestly I get off just on the blurb of this book: he writes pretentious literary fiction! she’s a bestselling romance author! they help each other write and slowly fall in love at the same time! It also deals with slightly heavier themes and there is focus on a recent death and some other stuff which I know a few people struggled with but there’s plenty of humour and light-heartedness so it all works imo

6.  A Dangerous Kind of Lady by Mia Vincy - It is so rare for me to like every book in a Historical Romance series but Mia Vincy’s Longhope Abbey is 3/3 atm. I loved the first two (as mentioned last year) and this one is an A+ addition (ngl I have qualms about the fourth book but I think MV has won some trust at this point so.) We originally met these MCs in the first book when they were introduced as very happily married and devoted so rewinding to them being conflict-stricken and angst-ridden youths was great.

5. You Say It First by Katie Cotugno - So I simultaneously adored this and also found it irritating. This book focuses on ‘liberal’ Meg who has progressive values and is very involved in things like voter registration phonebanks. She ends up on the phone with Colby who is her age and struggling with his family’s lack of money, his dead-end job, etc and has no time to discuss how the electoral system could help him. From a political point this had the potential to be really interesting but I think it’s pretty mishandled by the author. I think she could have done a much better job at writing a character who has no faith in the political system for valid reaons but like, some of Colby’s opinions are just nonsensical? Also Meg often feels ‘liberal’ in a way that is twee and annoying and superficial. Why did I place this so high when I have such a list of complaints??? Despite all this, the relationship between Meg and Colby is so sweet and satisfying and well-built. Most it it takes place over the phone and I love that liminal space that exists just for the two of them. It managed to outweight my negatives!!!

4.  If We Were Us by K.L. Walther - I know people have had qualms with this book but I still loved it. The boarding school vibes; the friendships; the siblings. Quintessential YA things done well! Sage and Charlie are best friends and would be perfect together (valedictorian types) except Sage is far more into Charlie’s twin brother (v not valedictorian type) and Charlie isn’t into girls at all. Two good, satisfying romantic relationships found here folks!

3. Boyfriend Material by Alexis Hall - FAKE DATING EXCELLENCE. I think every year I need something new to fill this particular category and Boyfriend Material is a really stellar entry. That being said, I don’t think there’s much actual fake dating going on in this book apart from premise-wise but we move! Luc and Oliver have a good mix of awareness and conflict so you get the Good Stuff TM of them being together and sweet and wonderful while still having to wait for their climactic Get Together.

2. Today Tonight Tomorrow by Rachel Lynn Solomon - I’m obsessed with “I’ve hated you all along! Wait... have I?” narratives and it’s executed so perfectly here. Rowan and Neil are two massive nerds and competitive rivals who end up spending their last hours of school together. There is very little plot to this book - it is almost 100% relationship development and hangout time - which is almost always all I ever want from romance.

1. Mix Tape by Jane Sanderson - I read this all the way back in January (what a completely different time in the world!) so it’s a testament to how good it is that I still feel strongly enough about it to give it pride of first place. This is the kind of book - because it’s not reeeeally genre fiction - that seems destined for a sad or, at the very least, ambigious ending but (HA!) it provides a warm, wholly satisfying happily ever after. Anyway if you’re into second chances after decades and decades apart and people communicating through songs and yearning and never being able to Let Go - this is for you!

[becomewings]

Hi! What do you think is the significance of the umbrella/Jimin? It's being mentioned again. We recently saw it again in bbc live for Boy With Luv. We saw it before when he received an umbrella in exchange at the magic shop, and when Hoseok took the girl to hospital.

CW: contains mentions of trauma, blood, & drowning

Hello dear anon and thank you for your question! I will do my best to explain my interpretation and also provide a little more context for those who may be less familiar with the references you made.

I’m guessing that when you say it’s being “mentioned again,” you’re referring to the new third story of the Smeraldo Blog posted on July 15th, in which the florist Testesso witnesses a young man with an umbrella standing outside his unfinished shop during a typhoon. (If that wasn’t what you meant, please let me know!) The identity of the young man is unconfirmed, but plausible options include JiMin, due to the umbrella connection, and SeokJin, who is the only character so far who has definitely interacted with the florist in previous timelines. (Side note: if anyone would like to learn more about the contents of the Smeraldo Blog and the different versions of the stories, this post is a wonderful resource and is currently being updated for the 2020 revisions.) Second, I admit that due to the time difference I was unable to watch BangBangCon Live, so I had to search for some footage of the Boy With Luv performance. It looks like they all dance with umbrellas, though it’s perhaps a little striking that TaeHyung tosses his umbrella to JiMin at the beginning of the song. Regardless of the young man’s identity in the Smeraldo post and whether the BWL umbrella prop is a coincidence or a loose reference to BU (it certainly wouldn’t be the first time they incorporated such elements in their live shows and VCRs!), yes, JiMin’s connection to the umbrella is significant.

As you mentioned, in the Fake Love Teaser 1 we see JiMin exchange a photo of the arboretum for an umbrella in the video’s imagining of the Magic Shop. According to the teaser, “‘Magic Shop is a psychodramatic technique that exchanges fear for a positive attitude.” Psychodrama is a form of psychotherapy that engages clients’ self-reflections and insights with dramatizations and role-playing. Some Googling reveals that the real Magic Shop technique is broader than what is defined in the teaser, but it suffices for our purposes right now in considering BU.

JiMin’s fear is rooted in the truth of what happened in Grass Flower Arboretum on the day of his school picnic in Year 11. There are two forces that led him to witness/experience this traumatic event in the arboretum warehouse: first, the absence of his parents because they “were too busy to make it.” The mothers of JiMin’s friends praise him for being “mature and gentle.” JiMin seems determined to live up to this impression of maturity, rather than revealing how “down” he felt as the only unaccompanied student. So rather than waiting for his teacher, he sets off for home alone, confident that he can find the way on his own. The second force that leads him to the warehouse is the weather’s turn to rain. It is this element in particular, rather than the neglect of his parents, that stays with him for years to come.

“I began to run, holding my backpack over my head with both hands. The rain kept falling harder and harder. My pants got soaked in the rain after only a few steps. No shop, house, or bus stop came into sight. In the far distance, I could see a gate. I ran towards it without thinking. My hands felt numb from gripping the backpack. I was soaking wet, and my teeth were chattering. On top of the gate was a sign that read Grass Flower Arboretum. It was the back gate. There was a small warehouse just inside the gate.”

— JiMin, 6 April Year 11. The Notes 1.

Young JiMin does not have an umbrella and is forced to seek shelter at the first opportunity, which happens to be the warehouse. Later, he is found unconscious at the arboretum and taken to the hospital. When JiMin reflects on this in the May 11 Year 22 entry of Notes 1, he adds that his parents “didn’t ask any questions” about that or when he eventually developed seizures. There are many “what ifs” surrounding the event of April 6 Year 11. What if JiMin’s parents had accompanied him to the picnic? What if they had paid more attention and provided him an umbrella? What if they had been more present in his life, so that he did not feel the need to mask the disappointment of their absence from his peers and attempt the journey home alone?

But they didn’t, and they weren’t—and young JiMin sets off without an umbrella that day and lives with the consequences. We essentially experience the absence of the umbrella in some of the water imagery connected with JiMin in the MVs. The rest is connected with drowning and cleansing, both literally and metaphorically. As I note in my post Harboring Waters, “throughout the MVs and the Notes, we see that water, the element he uses to cleanse himself, is also the visual metaphor for his trauma. JiMin attempts to wash away his past rather than acknowledging his pain, only to drown again when his memories resurface.” In the years following the incident, he also conflates blood and mud: blood from what he witnessed/experienced in the warehouse and mud from the rain and his lack of umbrella.

“I closed my eyes and wished that this was all a dream and that, when I awoke again, I wouldn’t be able to recall anything.

That wish was just a wish. Instead, a cycle of seizures, injections, and injection-induced sleep that felt like falling off a cliff continued. After I awoke from that sleep, my whole body felt like it was covered with mud. Mud that looked like blood. No matter how hard I tried to wash it off, that warehouse smell lingered. I scrubbed until I bled, but it still felt dirty.”

— JiMin, 11 May Year 22. The Notes 1.

Even though JiMin presumably follows through with his plan on May 19 Year 22 of returning to the arboretum to face his fear (accompanied by YoonGi), he is still vulnerable to the triggers that recall the trauma of his past. On July 4 Year 22, JiMin collides with his dancing partner (HoSeok’s friend) and both are injured. The sight of his own blood nearly shuts him down as he desperately tries to wash it off. This leads to the scene you referenced, which is depicted in the Highlight Reel: JiMin chases after HoSeok and the unconscious girl with an umbrella but soon stops and turns around, realizing he won’t be of any help.

“Every time I took a step, rain splattered onto my sneakers. The headlights of cars swished by me. It’d rained on that picnic day a long time ago, just like today. On that day, I’d run away from the Grass Flower Arboretum. My body was covered with mud that looked like blood. I hadn’t grown up one bit from that little eight-year-old kid.”

— JiMin, 4 July Year 22. The Notes 1.

Now, back to the Magic Shop. JiMin exchanges a photograph representing the source of his fear for an object of protection that might bring him a more “positive attitude.” I think it is worth noting that all of the objects the characters receive from the masked seller are far from representations of lasting joy, and I believe that this was carefully calculated. They are temporary fixes or reassurances in much the same way that SeokJin’s manipulations of the timelines are largely reactive and short-sighted in his efforts to save his friends. An umbrella is only a temporary shelter until the stormy weather has passed; it does not banish the storm itself.

As I have mentioned in my recent JiMin-focused posts, his journey of healing is portrayed, realistically, as a complex one. It is not as simple as facing one’s fears and carrying an umbrella. There are progressions and setbacks, twists and turns on a road that might never truly end. Sometimes the umbrella may shield him from the storm, and sometimes it won’t. When that umbrella takes the shape of friends who accept and love him for who he is, then perhaps they will help guide him one step closer to accepting and loving himself.

I’ll end with one of SeokJin’s narrated quotes in the Highlight Reel, as it feels appropriate and is quite lovely:

“Though many seasons pass, there are places that cannot be reached. Yet another storm to be faced and to be weathered head-on. Loving without fear, hesitating and parting, merely living as the person I am.”

— SeokJin, Love Yourself Highlight Reel '起承轉結'

I hope that gave you some food for thought and wasn’t too long-winded! To anyone with their own ideas and interpretations, I would love to hear them! Please feel free to send them my way along with any other questions or feedback. ♡

[9hwa9joong]

My Top Songs [2020]

Hi all!

As 2020 comes to an end (thank whatever higher power there is), I wanted to share a list of my favorite songs! (the following are songs RELEASED this year) (I’ve included a list of songs that I heard this year, but weren’t released in 2020, after it). These are mostly korean/chinese.

Alright, this is in NO particular order, just my favorites. I’ve mostly included one song from a group/solo act and added their other great releases in description. It is mostly music that I listened to, so if your favs are not here, feel free to rec me good music! ENJOY!

(the list ended up becoming quite long, so read under the cut)

Black swan(orchestral version) by BTS

BTS had a great year musically. 2 korean albums, 1 japanese and lots of solo stuff. My most played songs are Dynamite (listen, she did what she had to do), Stay Gold (if gold had a sound, this would be it), Black Swan, Blue and Grey (i live for melancholy), Life Goes On (spring day’s successor), Filter(park jimin is a threat), Friends (my feels!), Louder than bombs (TROYE SIVAN), UGH (murder music), 00:00, Moon (jin solos are beautiful always) and Your Eyes Tell (honestly, show me one bad japanese single, i dare you).

Ghosting by TXT

I got into TXT a lot more this year, as opposed to being a casual listener that I was last year. Many people say they have a no-skip discography and I believe it’s true. My most played songs were Blue Hour (i ADORE this song), We Lost the summer, Wishlist, Can’t you see me (the song that made me a stan), Fairy of Shampoo (ethereal), PUMA (choi yeonjun is a threat), Eternally (an ATTACKK!) and their f2020 cover.

Answer by ATEEZ

Ateez is another group i really got into this year, mesmerized by their performance abilities. My most played : Star 1117 (i’m very soft for this song), To the Beat (a true bop), Inception (holy jongho vocals), One day at a time and Good Lil Boy (does hongjoong ever have a bad rap verse?). Their Black Cat Nero cover also blew me away!! (i’m lowkey obsessed).

God’s menu by Stray Kids

I’ve been keeping an eye on Stray Kids ever since hellevator came out and this is my favourite song by them, so far (yes, i had a heart attack when i first saw Hyunjin). Most Played : Back Door (the beat drop gives me life, the choreo is probably my fav), All in, Easy (do they ever have a bad chorus?), GO LIVE (the beat??!! killer), Another Day (i am a slow jam hoe) and My Universe.

Pacman by eaJ   

I didn’t think it was possible to love him more after day6 but Jae’s solo music has proved me wrong. Yes, i love Pillows (with Keshi) to bits but pacman is my first love. Most Played : It just is (Seori and their golden vocals), LA TRAINS (vocals!!!), Pinocchio (the mv is adorable, the beat is so fun), 50 proof (the vibes man, it's the VIBES) and TRUMAN.

Left & Right by Seventeen

Another group with amazing releases this year, I’m slowly getting into Seventeen more these days. Most Played : Fallin’ Flower (so beautiful, the vocals), 24H (the beat change?!!???), 17 (Joshua, DK and Pink Sweats) and HOME;RUN (this is a brand of fun that is entirely their own).

Not by the moon by GOT7

I am no stranger to GOT7, i’ve liked their music for years now but this is one of their more lyrical releases this year and i adore when GOT7 does this type of music. Most Played : Poison (jackson opens it and the vibes are immaculate), Last Piece (the way the vocals flow into the rap) and Thank You, Sorry.

So Beautiful by DPR IAN

This is literally the first song i’ve heard from this artist, please rec me more. I also adore No Blueberries with DPR LIVE and CL.

Eight by IU, Prod. SUGA

IU is an indisputable vocal queen, and her music always comforts me greatly so when i heard she was having a song produced by Yoongi, i promptly lost my shit. It was everything I expected and more and embodies sorrow and pain with great grace. Give you My Heart from the ‘Crash Landing on you OST’ was also a loved song this year.

Cry for me by TWICE

How do i talk about the queens? TWICE is the group i go to when I want fun music with good vibes but this song has such bad b*tch vibes that i am in love. Most played : More & More (a bop), Don’t call me again, I can’t stop me (i love the way it flows), Handle It (the vocals??? How pretty this song is???) and Say Something (seriously, eyes wide open is an amazing album).

Criminal by Teamin

Where do i start with Lee Taemin? I love almost all his solo stuff. He grabbed me by the neck ever since ‘Move’ and hasn't let go. Criminal is SO taemin that i don't think anyone else could have delivered the concept with such grace and grit. Most Played : 2 Kids (the chorus is so good), Clockwork, Idea (i love the vibe) and Pansy (i'm a ballad hoe).

Maria by Hwasa

Listen, i loved Twit when it came out but i love Maria as her sound so much more. Most Played : I’m bad too (feat. DPR LIVE) (i love the beat, the vibe and the flavor), LMM and Orbit from ‘The King: Eternal Monarch OST’ (as soon as her voice comes in, i loved the song).

Breath by DEAN, Rad Museum, Mokyo

I’m not aware of many DEAN releases this year, please feel free to rec me if I missed any.

Dear my friend by Agust D ft. Kim Jong Wan (NELL)

D-2 was everything expected from the second mixtape off Agust D and yet it brought a fresh wave of singing and melodies, once again proving the man’s production genius. This song is so reminiscent in it’s lyrics and still so real, its my favorite off the record.Other songs I loved : People, Deachwita and What do you think? (i DID love the complete mixtape though).

Given - Taken by Enhypen

Yes, I watched  I-LAND. Given-Taken was a better debut then I expected at first. 10 months (the chorus and beat) and Flicker off their debut album were also played a lot. 

I just want to stay with you by Zion.T

The King: Eternal Monarch was a much awaited drama for a lot of people and it’s OST is one of the best ones this year. Zion.T’s amazing vocals really did an amazing job of expressing the love in the story. Other songs I really liked from this album were Gravity by Kim Jong Wan and the Hydrangea Instrumental by Lee Geon Yeong.

The purge by Jay Park, pH-1, Woodie Gochild, Sik-K, and others.

H1GHER: RED TAPE is my hype album of the year. All artists involved did an amazing job. Seriously, get yourself some bomb ass beats, as a treat. Other loved tracks : Telefono Remix (Woodie Gochild is great at his flavour of delivery), Closed Case and The Arrival.

Soul by Lay (zhang yixing)

Yixing’s album LIT was his best project till date, no arguments. He’s really evolved into such a refined musician, especially with how well he merges traditional chinese instruments into Hip Hop/RnB beats and I adore the vibe of this album. Although the album is great entirely, Soul is my favourite for how softly and prettily it flows. Other loved tracks: Eagle (the BEAT), Fly, Boom (bops on bops on BOPS) and Call My Name.

100 ways by Jackson Wang

It is astounding how well Jackson has formed his own style of music ever since starting off with Papillon. He’s also sort of come into himself as an artist and it has birthed some great music. Other loved tracks : Pretty Please (i love the vibe of the song!) and Should’ve Let Go (ft. JJ Lin).

SUGA’s interlude by Halsey 

Idk how else to explain it but Halsey and Yoongi have great music synergy. There’s something about their song/lyric writing that matches very well and needless to say, I adore the song. Blueberry eyes by MAX is also another great Yoongi collab.

In Your Time by Lee Suhyun

It’s Okay to not be Okay had an OST that was dreamy, gritty and very fairytale-esque, much like the drama itself. Among a bunch of great songs, this one is my favourite. Other loved songs: You’re Cold by Heize (always delivers!), Breath by Sam Kim (OST angel), Hallelujah by Kim Feel (chills!), In Silence by Janet Suhh (literally how angelic is her tone??), I’m your Psycho by Janet Suhh (it’s creepy in a dreamy way) and Brother | Her World | Through the dark Tunnel of time | Butterfly - all amazing instrumentals by Nam Hye Seung and Park Sang Hee (seriously, go listen to the album).

By my side by Junny

Another great discovery towards the end of the Year, Junny has vocals for DAYS and admirable delivery. Other loved songs: AURA ft. pH-1, edge (this is so hypnotising in it’s beauty) and I will. Please feel welcome to educate me more about this artist!!

Make a Wish by NCT

NCT always provides bops and NCT U is my favourite sub-unit, for their unique style of music, so when they came out with this song I was ready and they delivered! Most Played : 90’s Love  (the old boy band theme was so well done), From Home (i’m a sucker for slow songs), Nectar (yes, i adore WayV’s music), MAD DOG by NCT 127 and Kick It by NCT 127 (this is the flavour of NCT i LOVE).

Zombie by Day6

Day6 has always been in my daily otations and as always, they put out good music after good music. I loved both the original Korean and the English versions of this song (they do rock well, what else is there to say?). Other loved songs : Tick Tock (oh the vocals, the way the beat moves!), Love me or Leave me, Day and Night... actually the whole Album is great, go listen to ‘The Book of us: The Demon’.

Fearless by Ma Di [other chinese songs]

Chinese songs have been a surprisingly pleasant addition to my daily rotation. Fearless from the “Go Ahead” OST takes the top stop because of how well it embodies the struggles of stepping into adulthood, the melody and MaDi’s amazing vocals. Other Chinese songs I loved: Praise for Red Plum Blossoms by Xiao Zhan (the perfect welcoming of spring paired with  such expressive vocals), Remaining Years by Xiao Zhan (Joy of Life OST) and his OST for the Oath of Love.

 ____________________________________________

The following is the list of songs I heard in 2020, but were not released in 2020. Please let me know if you like them, or if you know other similar music! (I know, I know, I’m late to the game) Enjoy!

DEAN - Sometimes I hear Howlin' in my head 

Zhang Jie/Zhang Bichen - Simple Wish 

Li Ronghao - If I were Young

JJ Lin - What I Miss

Ateez - Mist | Twilight | Wonderland | Say my name | Thank you 

Stray Kids - voices

Seventeen - Trauma

Loona - Hi High

Day6 - Shoot me 

GOT7 - You calling my Name 

RADWIMPS - Is There Still Anything That Love Can Do?

Baekhyun - UN Village

Taemin - Goodbye | want

Aquillo - Silhouette

Talos - To Each His Own

Cigarettes after sex (literally everything)

__________________________________________________

I know this was long, if you read it till the end, I hope you all enjoyed it still.

Have a smooth year in 2021,

-love, c.

[putschki1969]

H-el-ical//’s First Online Interview (English Translation)

Note: Here’s my English translation of H-el-ical//’s first online interview with SPICE. I hurried to finish my translation because I wanted everyone to read this awesome interview. I think there are so many gems in this, especially for us Kalafina fans. Hikaru is talking quite a bit about Wakana and Keiko and their respective solo careers. Please be sure to check it out! As always, take everything you read with a grain of salt, my Japanese is by no means perfect. CREDIT me if you share my translations or use parts of it.

In her first online interview H-el-ical// talks about a new world ~ “I want to discover this world together with everyone”

Solo project『H-el-ical//（ヘリカル）』 by Kalafina’s Hikaru//. Although many songs have already been released on her official YouTube channel, her major debut single 「Altern-ate-」will be released under NBC Universal on May 20. In this interview she has told me about stepping forward on a new musical path with the help of this song which is currently being used as the opening theme for the TV anime "Gleipnir". What is Hikaru// 's “relationship with music” at this moment?

I already know the happiness of being able to incorporate the things I love in my work

―― We did a SPICE live broadcast together recently but it feels like it has been a while since our last interview. First of all I would like to ask how you are dealing with the current situation?

I am simply staying at home. Before all of this  I was forced to leave the house for work but now I am really just at home all the time (laughs).

―― In the past you have often said that you like staying at home.

Yes. I have always been a hikikomori but I used to go out for work or to visit a collab café or maybe some bookstores. Now all of that is not possible. It has gotten bad, there are times when I don’t leave the house for an entire week or longer.

―― Under such circumstances you are celebrating your major solo debut as H-el-ical// with your single 「Altern-ate-」. How did you feel when you heard that you would have your major debut under NBC Universal who you are now affiliated with?

Well ... I was beyond happy! Of course, my work as part of Kalafina is very important to me and it’s an experience I will treasure forever but receiving the great honour to make myself known as a solo artist made me incredibly happy and I am very grateful. I felt a strong sense of wanting to do my very best.

―― I get the impression that your song 「Altern-ate-」 is tied very tightly to the anime “Gleipnir”. You have always had a strong desire to "be involved in anime" haven’t you?

That's because I really like anime. That's not the only thing I want to do of course but I already know the happiness of being able to incorporate the things I love in my work (laughs).

―― How so (laughs)?

By being in charge of an anime song I feel like I can surpass myself. I think it’s because I have so much love for the work, more so than even for myself. It’s something I have always loved so I am also able to put a lot of love into my work. I think I am able to sing anisongs because I have so much love for anime. That’s how I see myself and how I want to be.

――「Altern-ate-」is definitely an anisong. Watching the opening one cannot help but notice that the video and the song are very strongly connected. Was the song produced before you saw the anime?

Well, after hearing about the plot and receiving some reading materials, I asked Gushimiyagi-san to write the song in advance. Of course we also sought out the opinions of everyone involved in the creation of the anime. Finally I added the lyrics and then I asked all of them to review the song. When I got their OK everything fell into place, they added the OP video. If you feel like the song and the images are matching it's thanks to the anime creators.

―― Didn’t they request anything from you regarding the song?

No one told me to do anything particular for the song. However, I heard them mention that they would like an up-tempo song so I kinda knew that would happen (laughs). When I got the song, I immediately thought it had a catchy tune.

―― So your first impression was that it had a catchy tune?

Yes, since it is my first single  I thought that kind of catchy melody was great for me. Personally, I am the type that likes listening closely to the lyrics but first-time listeners who don't know H-el-ical// will most likely pay more attention to the melody so I think the song I received is perfect for this occasion.

―― The lyrics which are tied to this melody were written by yourself, right? You have been writing the lyrics for all songs released under your project H-el-ical//. I had the impression that you read through the manga "Gleipnir".

I read all of it (laughs). After all, I felt the need to get as close as possible to the original work since I was creating music for it. However, there are also lots of people who don’t know anything about the manga listening to the song so in order for those people to be able to identify with the song I also included many aspects of our daily life.

―― It's not just a song for fans of the work?

I made lyrics that I associated with scenes and dialogues that impressed me in the manga. It’s about conflicts and frustrations we all experience in our everyday life. This song is meant to push you ahead, to provide strength, it’s supposed to support you in moments when you feel like you need and want to become a stronger person. 

The responsibilities of working solo

―― In the lyrics you are saying twice 「この物語の主役じゃない | I am not the protagonist of this story」, I think those lines are leaving a strong impression. This leads right to a line saying 「でも逃げない | But I won’t run away」. I think that very much encapsulates the essence of “Gleipnir”. 

Yes, it really screams “Gleipnir” (laughs).

―― I thought those lines reflected the feelings of the main character Shuichi very well but in a way I also felt like somewhere within those lyrics you also put a lot of yourself in there. 

When I was reading the original work there were lots of things I could relate to, it’s those aspects I worked with…how do I say this? The manga might be fiction but in some way it feels very real to me. 

―― So it is a fantasy but it’s also real?

Yes, there are definitely many things that resonate with me. I like manga and anime because you can escape from reality but at the same time they can offer solutions for your everyday problems.

―― So there really is a lot of yourself in those lyrics.

For example, let’s talk about the lyrics 「主役じゃない | I am not the protagonist」,  I think we are all the leading characters of our own lives but when we do something out of respect for someone else we are no longer seeing ourselves as the main character. I think what motivates people in life is thinking about others. However, when we are taking action while thinking of someone else it is necessary for us to make up our minds, to be determined, after all, we are responsible for our behaviour... So yeah, these were the thoughts going through my mind while reading the manga (laughs).

―― That’s very deep ...

Yes, “I want to share this feeling with everyone”. Having that in mind I wrote these lyrics (laughs).

―― Watching your daily activities and talking to you on broadcasts I feel like there are not  many artists these days who take their fans’ thoughts and opinions into consideration as much as you do. I wonder if that is because you are also a fan of anime and manga.

I think the feeling when I really like something about an anime or manga is the same feeling when people who support me say things like, “I love this and that about Hikaru, I would like to see more of it!” I appreciate it and I really want to cherish that. So yeah, that may be the reason why I am valuing those thoughts and opinions so much, it’s because they are born out of love.

―― It got more noticeable once you became a solo artist. I think it was a great chance for you to use social media to convey your thoughts and to put more of yourself out there. 

Yes, you are also in charge of what you say and what you do because you are the only one around. You may upload something and regret it later, since it’s all your responsibility you have the option to correct your mistakes and to explain yourself.

―― The responsibilities of working solo

Well, as member of Kalafina I was part of a unit so I always had to worry about the possibility of my personal actions damaging the image of Kalafina. But now everything I do is my own responsibility. It can be quite daunting but it's also very rewarding.

―― All mistakes are your own.

Yes, it’s all my own doing. All the good things and all the bad things are my responsibility. Of course there are advantages and disadvantages to being responsible for yourself but it helps you to become more aware .

―― So you actually want to take on all that responsibility? Do it all your own way and take responsibility for your own actions?  As you mentioned earlier, there are advantages and disadvantages. I wonder, during your Kalafina days, did you ever want to be that kind of person?

Hmmm...I don't know ... I never really thought, “I want to be that kind of person!” I think balance is very important when you are part of a unit. After all, you always have to be aware of the consequences of your actions regarding your group. It's a good thing to have some individuality but for the most part we always made sure there was some sort of balance.

Rather than standing all on my own I would like to borrow everyone’s strength

―― You also shot a MV.

Yes, all you see in the video is me (laughs). It’s quite surprising. I was wondering, "Can I handle this on my own?" Until now it has always been the three of us ... (laughs).

―― You are the only one standing in the middle of the forest and on that cliff.

That's right. There are many parts of the song where I am not singing so I wondered about how fast I should be moving. I was really confused and lost. We used a drone to shoot the video and I was asked to do multiple takes. Since it would be boring if all my movements had been the same, I changed little details during each take but gradually I ran out of variations, there is only so much a single person can do (laughs).

―― You are worrying that the impressions given by the MV will remain boring and one-sided (laughs)?

Yeah (laughs). I felt good while shooting the MV but all the time I kept wondering what kind of MV it would be.  I felt very grateful and constantly had to remind myself that, “wow, this is the MV for my first single…!” Even when we did a final check I was very happy with the result, we only had to fix one little thing. 

―― I would like to ask about the title of the song, did you come up with it? 

Actually, I was asking members of the staff to help me with that. I eventually went with my manager’s idea.

―― Your manager’s idea!?

Yes. I first proposed a few of my own ideas but I wanted to hear other thoughts on it as well so I discussed different options with everyone. “Please share your wisdom with me!” We all put our heads together and eventually came up with the title 「Altern-ate-」.

―― Since your manager is also attending the interview why don’t we ask him? How did you come up with the title 「Altern-ate-」? 

Manager: Well, the story is about the two main characters becoming one so I investigated a bit and came across the word “オルタネイト | orutaneito” which has the meaning of "alternate/mutual". After further investigation I realised that the final part of the word “ate” is actually the English past tense of “eat”. In this anime world, the two protagonists meet early on but they don’t have a lot in common. Surviving and defeating all your enemies is the most important thing for them, I felt like the word really fit into the world that was created here. That’s how we ended up with 「Altern-ate-」.

―― I see, it really is fitting.

As one would expect from the H-el-ical// team! I've said it a few times already but H-el-ical// is not made up of just one person, this project is a group effort.

―― Yes, you have mentioned that before.

Of course it is very important for me to do things myself but I have spent 10 years of my life as part of Kalafina and if there is one thing I learned during this time, it’s to rely on others to make up for the things that I myself am lacking (laughs).

―― Very significant words.

You should never force something that’s not possible. Of course there will always be things that will be impossible for you but those things still have to be done, that’s why you have to do your best and cooperate with the people around you in a way that is satisfying for all parties involved. Rather than standing all on my own I would like to borrow everyone’s strength from time to time. That’s what I learned during the past decade growing up (laughs).

―― Inner growth?

Yes, I definitely grew up in those times. Before I became a part of Kalafina I had never really relied on other people. Of course I am still hesitant when I need to rely on others but I allow myself to ask for help more often now compared to before. So this is something I have learned as a member of Kalafina.

―― Now please tell us about the second song. The title is 「Clea-rly-」. I felt this song was also very reminiscent of “Gleipnir”, when I listened to it for the first time I had the impression it might have been sung by the heroine Clair-chan.

We thought a lot about what kind of coupling song to make for this single. Originally we had the plan to make it a ballad that would be the exact opposite of 「Altern-ate-」but since this is my major debut single we decided to go all out and use the momentum. Once we had decided that the B-Side would also be an up-tempo song I worried a lot about the lyrics.

―― I see.

My producer Akihiro Tomita-san said that 「Altern-ate-」incorporated Shuichi-kun’s feelings very well but I guess the lyrics may also be interpreted from a different character's point of view. Either way, it was quite the challenge to come up with something fitting for the B-Side, I ended up writing the lyrics with Clair-chan in mind. 

―― I think it's interesting that both songs are up-tempo, the B-Side「Clea-rly-」 has a sharp 8th note groove. So I feel like people who are watching the anime might think this kind of groove is very Clair-like.

I guess so.

―― I think the personalities of the hero and the heroine are reflected very well in the rhythm of these two songs.

I haven’t asked Gushimiyagi-san whether that was his intention or not. But we were definitely thinking about creating a balance when we recorded these two songs.

―― During your Kalafina times there weren’t really too many crisp rock songs likes this. I wonder, did you have a hard time recording this song? 

We recorded 「Clea-rly-」super quickly.

―― Oh really, you did it quickly?

We were finished very quickly (laughs). I think I've always liked such songs, I like it fast (laughs). So I don't think there was any difficulty.

―― Is that so?

I usually have the song separated into different blocks and I will record each block at least three times, out of these recordings we will extract the best takes and use them. I didn’t feel any hesitation this time around so the recording was over in no time. But generally speaking, every song takes about an hour or maybe two hours to record.

―― I guess that can be attributed to your growing abilities as a singer?

Maybe so. Tomita-san and Gushimiyagii-san listened outside the booth and made some decisions but basically the recording was left to me, I had full control. That may be the reason why I was able to finish so quickly.

―― Once again we are back to the "responsibility" that you mentioned earlier. I guess you are starting to take responsibility for everything.

Until the time of the recording I will think of various patterns and singing styles. I have to choose among them. I am in charge of the lyrics and vocals but of course there are things that I have to leave to others like the arrangement or mixing but I will occasionally ask, “can you maybe do it like that or change this a little?" My team has a lot of respect for the production process and they make sure to include me so we always make smooth progress.

I want to give back back as much as possible to the people who support me abroad

―― At this point of time you have released two albums independently as H-el-ical//, your first album “H-el-ical//” which was sold at your live and the mini album “elements”. Now you are releasing 「Altern-ate-」.  Your major debut is a tie-up, does this feel different than your two previous releases?

Hmm. The degree of freedom is different. After all, when you are writing a song and lyrics for a specific work that adds a certain kind of responsibility, you have to respect creators of the work and the people who love it. With these added feelings your attitude changes quite a bit.

―― Are you going to continue releasing your music on Youtube while you also release physical albums?

I don’t just want to do tie-ups, I want to find out what kind of songs I can create as H-el-ical//  and just sing for the sake of singing, that’s my individual pursuit. I want everyone to listen to this and feel like we share the music. I definitely don’t want to lose this platform so I plan to continue posting music on my official YouTube channel.

―― When you are looking at the YouTube comments, you get the impression that your foreign fans are very happy. You are providing lyrics in multiple languages and you always add an English translation to your tweets.

Yes. I know that there are so many people out there who support me, I can't just ignore that. Of course I know that there are also many of them who are studying Japanese and trying to understand my Japanese tweets and even doing their best to understand the lyrics.

―― I think overseas fans are very happy that you are always thinking about them.

People will listen to music for all sorts of reasons, they like the melody or the sound or the voice of the singer. I am happy if I can share my thoughts with the people who listen to my music. Depending on what you know or don’t know your impression of a song is very different after all.  

―― Yes, I think that is the case.

I am that kind of person. I would like people to think, “ohh, she is singing that kind of song, how interesting!” I will do the best I can to return the favour and give back as much as possible to the people who support me, not only in Japan but all over the world. I don't know how much I can give but I would like to show my appreciation as best as I can.

―― More so than taking your fans’ thoughts into account it’s almost like you are taking a fan’s perspective.

Yes, I guess I am seeing it from a fan’s perspective (laughs).

I am very much looking forward to everyone’s solo work

―― In this long-awaited interview I would also like to ask a little about your past and the future. We've talked about it many times but I think the existence of Kalafina is still very important to you.

Yes of course.

―― First it was Wakana-san, then it was you. Keiko-san has also decided to make her solo debut. All three of you are now being active as solo singers. As ⅓ of Kalafina I would like to hear how you feel about this?

I'm incredibly happy. Of course I am more than happy and grateful for ten years worth of singing together as a trio as a part of Kalafina, there is so much significance in that experience. But I think the three of us as singers have the will and power to express music by ourselves.

―― You each have pride as a singer?

Yes. In the interviews I have done in the past I always talked about not just wanting to be part of Kalafina, I have never abandoned my wish to work as a solo artist, I had never forgotten about that dream. Back then I was the only one who had expressed that wish but I am happy that now each of us is determined to do solo work.

―― Yes, I remember, you always said that it was your wish to sing solo.

At that time I thought it would be best to do it alongside my activities as member of Kalafina. Nowadays I am filled with happiness because I know we all have the opportunity to pursue our own music, our songs and all kinds of other things. I love Wakana-san and Keiko-san’s voice and I'm looking forward to what kind of music they will be creating. Among everyone who has been involved in Kalafina they have always been the closest to me so I am just really looking forward to what they are doing. I love them as a fan just like everyone else (laughs).

―― You were always singing together and now there is this new situation where each of you is listening to the others from an outsider’s point of view, right?

I have seen Wakana-san and Keiko-san singing non-Kalafina songs during many Yuki Kajiura Lives. However, there was no such thing as them performing solo. Right now I am just cheering for them and very much looking forward to what’s coming next.

―― As singers isn’t there are some sort of rivalry between you?

I guess that’s par for the course in this line of work.

―― I see.

When I am talking about rivalry I mean it in the sense of a healthy competition, they are worthy opponents.  We are able to bring the best out in each other. For me there is absolutely no negative connotation to the term “rival”, I have no wish whatsoever to beat them or kick them down. I think every singer feels that way. It’s not about being jealous or wanting to be like that person.

―― By being aware of each other you can bring out the best in each other.

At the end of the day when it comes to our relationship with music it is the most satisfying thing to express what we want to express. I am more than happy when the people who listen to my music can find something they like but if they don’t like it they should find music they can enjoy. During my Kalafina days I think there were many people who didn’t particularly like my singing but they loved Wakana-san and Keiko-san’s singing and expression. It makes me very happy that the three of us now have the chance to play an active role in our respective fields and to deliver music to as many people as possible. 

I think music has always been rooted in people's lives

―― This interview is conducted online at the beginning of May during Golden Week. I feel like the world has changed a lot recently. After the lockdown period has ended, I think it will take quite a while until we will be able to hold big lives again with thousands of attendees. At the same time things are changing drastically when it comes to how we express art, our viewpoints have changed, everyone is exploring various new things.  

I agree.

―― I would like to hear what you think about this.

Hmm...well, I think music is something we can’t live without. Music has always been rooted deeply in people's lives. For example, praying for rain by beating the drums or singing a song. People have been doing this for centuries.

―― Yes, dancing and singing are often considered to be offerings to the Gods.

Yes. When you wanted to celebrate something or feel healed, music has always been what people turned to. With that in mind, I think music will never disappear. There will always be people who will crave it and when that happens I want to be able to provide my own music.

―― As someone who has chosen music as their path in life, you want to provide what is required.

Yes, I have chosen this job as my profession and I am doing the best I can but it is a profession that can only exist when there are people who listen to the music. So I want to keep singing and stand before you as long as there are people who want to listen to me. Honestly though, I will probably sing for the rest of my life even if no one is listening to me (laughs).

―― Unfortunately, your acoustic live that was scheduled for April was cancelled, it would be nice if the world got back to normal soon so public lives were possible again.

I think it’s also important to find a connection through the screen, that’s what we can do right now ... But I always say that lives are like a "conversation" for me, meeting you in person and being close to each other provides a lot of warmth, we can share our thoughts with each other, so I hope that we will be able to do that soon again.

―― Finally, please leave a message for the fans.

Thank you for reading this article to the very end. I often think about my position as a singer. I decided to do the best thing I could and launched the H-el-ical// project. Now, with the help of all kinds of people, I have been able to release a major debut single as a solo artist, the day I watched the first episode of "Gleipnir" I cried like a baby. This brought so much happiness, I will never forget it. H-el-ical// is something that I want to create with all of you. Of course it's my solo project but there are many more people involved in this project, including everyone who is reading this article. I would like to discover and see new sceneries, new places and a new world together with all of you. Therefore, I would appreciate your continued support for H-el-ical//.