#this movie wrecked me even more the second time around

[lovely-v]

Sobbing at everything everywhere yet again

[lymtw]

Toji invites you over with a simple text of:

You busy tonight, doll?

To which you respond with:

I don't think so... Not that I know of. Why?

He laughs through his nose when he reads your message. Even the way you text him has your timidness imbued into it. It's precious.

Come spend the night at my place. You told me you're off tomorrow, right?

I am, but are you sure? Driving home is not a problem for me. I can hang out and go home after.

You're staying. I wanna try something with you and it requires you to stay the night. You can't go home.

Oh okay! I'll be there in 10.

Drive safe.

Toji likes that you're very precise about the time you'll be arriving somewhere, and if you're ever late when it comes to spending time with him, you apologize profusely, nonstop. You won't stop blubbering about why you're late and how sorry you are for making him wait, even after Toji's expressed that he's more than understanding. He's the king of showing up late to plans, so he can't be a hypocrite and scold you when you don't do it often at all.

You're so sorry, though, and you don't shut up about it until he makes you shut up with a kiss. You're helpless, and you can't for the life of you figure out where to put your hands when you're so focused on the grip he had on your waist to pull you up against him.

He releases your lips, cracking a grin at the look of wonder on your face. He can't deny the pride that swells in his chest at his ability to disarm you and prevent you from having a total meltdown over a three minute delay.

Toji has gotten so much better at handling situations like these with you. It's only fair for him to gain satisfaction out of making you feel better. After all, you are a first for him. You're emotionally fragile, you're a nervous wreck, and your voice competes with the wind just to be heard. Toji doesn't set aside the fact that you're also beautiful, warmhearted, and you try for him. He sees your attempts to be affectionate. You'll slowly reach your hand out to hold his and then bail the second he catches you. He ends up having to interlock his fingers with yours because your embarrassment doesn't allow you to try again. He still appreciates that you leave your comfort zone for him and allow him to guide you towards new experiences.

"Stop with the guilty feelings, ma. We have all night and all day tomorrow. What's a couple minutes to ensure you get to me in one piece?" He says, comforting your droopy self. You look like a sad, abandoned puppy, now sporting rosy cheeks from his surprising gesture.

"Okay," you say, feeling a little more at ease. "What did you have in mind for tonight?"

"Follow me," he says, leading you through his living room to his kitchen. He pulls out a stool for you and points at it. "Sit." You want to laugh at the way he says it like he's teaching commands to a dog, but you know he doesn't mean it that way, so you obediently sit down like one anyway.

"Have you eaten anything?" He asks, silently hoping you have because he doesn't have anything to make you dinner. He would have to order in or pick something up.

"I ate a couple hours ago. Still pretty full," you respond, watching him reach up for something in his cabinets. There's now a tall glass bottle with a red label and matching cap sitting on the counter.

"How 'bout it?" He says, a large hand wrapped around the neck of the bottle. "We could go to the couch and watch a movie or something."

He's never seen you under the influence of anything, but based on your reaction, maybe he'll get a show tonight. He's always wanted to know what you would be like if you were more extroverted and outspoken. There's nothing wrong with the way you are, but if things keep going the way they're going between you and Toji, he's bound to meet your chatty alter ego at some point in the future. What better way to have this experience than in a secure place with someone who can handle their alcohol and take care of you if it turns out that you can't.

"Okay, sure." You giggle, excitedly.

You're a lightweight. Even the fruitiest, sweetest alcoholic beverage will quickly take a toll on you while you're sipping on it. Wine is a step up, so you'll have to try your best to keep it together for the sake of not looking sloppy in front of Toji.

Toji brings down two glasses, and pours out the deep red liquid into them. One for you, one for him. He hands the glass to you, and nods at your quiet "thank you".

Toji watches as you immediately take a sip. He sees the way your nose scrunches at what you consider to be a funny taste, but the second you put the glass down, you smile like nothing. You don't like it at all. You hate the bitterness, and the fact that it's made with fermented grapes lives in the back of your head.

"How is it?" He asks, holding back a chuckle. You're too sweet for your own good, pretending to enjoy this for him.

"I like it," you say, pressing your lips together.

"Yeah? I think it's kinda gross. Guess I was expecting more from a fancy ass bottle, but brands are gonna brand, huh?"

You giggle, almost involuntarily. You're one gulp in, and already you're starting to feel the effects.

One of your worst habits includes chugging drinks that don't taste good, just so you can get them over with. You even do this when your drink is messed up at coffee shop. You're too nice to ask the barista to remake it, so you suck it up and drink the incorrect beverage solely for the caffeine you hope it has in it. This time is no different. You hate the taste of alcohol. You don't do plain shots, you can't stand hard ciders, and wine is no exception, but you're doing this for Toji. He cracked open the bottle to share with you, so you're going to drink every ounce of the liquid in the glass, whether you like the taste or not.

You bring the glass to your lips again, taking a much larger sip. The glass is a little less than halfway now, and your eyelids are starting to feel a little heavy. Not in a sleepy manner, but you can't seem to hold your eyes open as wide anymore.

You exhale through your nose, shut your eyes, and then blink them back open to take note of your altered state.

"That was a lot. How are you feeling?" Toji asks, noticing a shift in your demeanor. You seem a little more sluggish now. You turn your attention to him, your eyes rolling when they turn to meet his.

"I'm good, how are you?" You ask, like it was the start of a conversation rather than an ongoing one. Your eyes almost shut completely when you smile at him.

"You're tipsy already, aren't you?" He asks, with a grin on his face.

"Pshh, what? No, i'm not," you say, contradicting yourself with a giggle. "Answer the question, baby. How are you?"

"Fine," he responds, lingering on the pet name. You've got loose lips, now. In any other circumstance, you would address him by his name. Most of the time Toji is the one giving you pet names, for the sake of flustering you. He loves the way you look at him when he calls you doll or sweetheart, somewhat shocked every time the words leave his mouth.

"Yeah? That's good." You pick up the glass one more time, sighing before you mutter, "'scuse me. Gotta finish this."

With that last sip, the glass was now empty. Even Toji thinks you drank that too fast, but he still has the courtesy to ask you if you want more.

"Mhm, I'll have a little bit more. Just a tiny bit." Toji pours as much as he did the first time, chuckling when you nod in approval of the quantity. "That's perfect. Absolutely, perfect. You're a genius, my love." You flash him a smile before starting on the next glass.

Toji was considering having another glass, but that was before you called him "my love" in a tone so warm that he felt like he just had a bowl of hot soup that was now settling in his stomach. That was before you smiled at him in such a free spirited manner. It was too late for him to see you in this state while completely sober, but he sure as hell wouldn't be adding anymore alcohol to his system. He can't miss something like this, so instead he leans forward on the counter, and intently watches your every move.

"I got something on my face?" You ask, dragging your sleeves all over your face. You examine your sleeves and they're clean. "You liar. You're looking at me like that for nothing." You squint at him, a slight scrunch in your nose to define your defensiveness.

Toji laughs, his focus now on the small pinch in your brows. "Don't go picking fights over nothing. It's not a crime to look at my pretty baby."

Your faux tough exterior immediately crumbles, the irked expression on your face dropping to the ground, at the sugary words he uses on you. Your face feels very warm, and now there's an indefinite blush on it. You can't stop smiling at the look on Toji's face. He's so focused that he's gone speechless, and you eventually break into a laughing fit because of it.

"Hey... i'm usually the quiet one. Why aren't you talking, pretty boy? Need me to shut up?"

The pet name has Toji glancing at your glass, noticing that it was full for less than five minutes. This was new— you being flirtatious towards him. He didn't have any complaints about it whatsoever.

Once again, the quantity of the wine in your glass was below the halfway mark. "Nah, baby. Talk to me. You must really like the wine, huh?"

"Mmm..." you lean forward towards him, with your elbow on the counter and your chin in your palm. "What makes you say that?"

He actually snickers this time, earning a sly grin from you. "You're chugging it like it's water. It's either you love it or it tastes like ass and you're dying to spit it out."

You pick up the glass again, one last time. "Let's find out if I like it," you say as if you're not on your second serving. You let the liquid hit your tongue, and you are instantly repulsed by the flavor. The glass is tilted all the way up, signaling that you've finished two cups of wine in less than fifteen minutes. Your cheeks are filled with the drink, blown up like a puffer fish, which makes Toji smile softly with anticipation for your reaction. Your tongue stays on the roof of your mouth, keeping the wine in your cheeks separate, to give you a break for a few seconds. You release the bubbles of your cheeks and your mouth is flooded with the bittersweet liquid. You swallow the burgundy mouthful and smile with your lips pressed together once it's all gone. The mouth drying effect of wine is your least favorite thing about it.

"So?" Toji prompts.

"It's-" you gag, clasping a hand over your mouth with wide, slightly teary eyes.

Toji's chest and shoulders shake as he contains his laughter, his lips pressed together tightly to stifle the smile threatening to show itself, but his eyes tell you everything.

"Wooo, sorry about that," you say, chuckling through the embarrassment. "It's good," you repeat, still muffled by your palm.

"Yeah? Want more?" Toji asks, holding up the bottle with a teasing grin on his face.

You almost gag again but manage to control yourself. "No, thank you. Any more and I'll doze off, and we both know that's not what i'm here for." There was a hint of sultriness in your tone, something Toji was not sufficiently familiar with. It was a completely welcome shift from your normally tentative way of speaking to him.

"I know why you're here, but I wanna know what you think you're here for."

You stand from your stool and lean more of your body onto the counter. Your hand reaches for his, and for the first time, you don't pull back before making contact with his skin. "To love on you, of course," you say, with those pretty rosy cheeks. Your eyes remained glossy and your nose was still red from trying not to bring the wine back up earlier, but Toji thought you looked so cute.

"Is that right?" His thumb brushes over your knuckles, feeling the softness against his rough fingertip.

"Let's go watch that movie you were talking about and you'll see what I mean."

Toji was loving this. Your confidence, your lack of holding back anything you had to say, it was truly baffling how you could be someone else entirely with just a couple glasses of wine.

You keep his hand in yours, and as if it were your house, you say, "come on," and drag him along to the living room.

This time you say "sit" and point at the couch. This time he's the obedient dog and does as you say, sitting on the exact cushion you were pointing at with a smirk on his face. He moves the couch pillow aside to make room for you, but you had another seat in mind. You take two steps towards him before slowly dropping yourself into his lap, straddling him.

"I see you're finally taking your seat on the throne, hm?" He grins, resting his hands on your waist. This is the closest Toji's been allowed to watch you giggle without you burying your face into his neck and it's a trip. He can see the details of the creases around your eyes and the lift in your cheeks as you smile. He feels fuzzy, and he didn't even finish his glass of wine, so he knows it's not that.

"Stop making me laugh and pick a movie, will you? I'm here for that, too."

He picks up the remote for the TV and turns it on. "How are you gonna watch the movie while facing me?"

"Actually,.. can I tell you a secret, baby?" You ask, wrapping your arms around his neck. Your fingers play with the hair that reaches towards the nape of his neck, combing through it gently.

"What's that, princess?" Toji asks, vert eyes flitting between your eyes and that sweet smile of yours.

"I don't wanna watch a movie. I... wanna look at you... and that's it." Your nails gently scratch the back of his head, eliciting a tingly sensation that makes chills run down his spine.

"That's cool, too," Toji says, turning the TV off again, not caring that it was on for less than a minute before you changed your mind. He sighs, adjusting his position beneath you. Your thighs are secured around his hips, your knees touching the backrest of the couch.

"You're so handsome, my baby. God, look at those eyes," you whisper in awe, before giggling and bringing your hands to his face. You trace the bags under his eyes with your thumbs while admiring the haunting shade of green that scopes on you. Toji's hand comes up to loosely wrap around your wrist. He's not there to stop you, he just wants to move along with you as you observe his face.

"I know I don't say this to you enough, but I find you..." you sigh, blinking slowly, "enchanting..." You lean in and kiss the left corner of his lips—his right, and feel the smooth, tattered skin beneath your warm lips. "and I love you," you mumble into the cicatrix. "So fucking much, baby. And i'm sorry that you'll never know exactly how much because you aren't me." You're looking at him with so much adoration and touching him with a delicacy that can't be put into words. It's a deadly combination, one that has Toji in a chokehold and forces him to soften up even more for you.

He tightens the hold he has on your waist, pulling you closer until your stomach is pressed to his, as a result. You being so affectionate towards him is making him feel really good, and you have no idea because you're too focused on appreciating him. He's subconsciously leaning into your touch, his softened gaze meeting your lovestruck one.

"Fuck. I love you, too, princess," he murmurs, squeezing your wrist in his hand. He pulls your hand down to his chest. "Want you to aim for my lips, this time."

"Okay," you say, smiling before closing the distance between your lips and Toji's. He can still taste the remnants of the wine you inhaled minutes ago, but it tastes much better and a lot sweeter on you. Toji can hear your high pitched little hums as you kiss him, happiness pouring into your kisses. You're trying so hard not to laugh in his face, and trying is the best you can do, right now. You never were good at hiding your smile from Toji. He can't see it, but he can feel the way your lips widen, and he's occasionally kissing your teeth when your sluggishness keeps you from matching his pace. With little pants leaving you, you drag your lips away.

He sighs, frustrated by the loss of your softness against him. "Baby..." he groans, the sound almost whine-like to your ears. He wants more, so much more of you, and you're ignoring him. You're too busy kissing his chin, and his cheeks, and the tip of his nose.

You drag your other hand down to his chest and keep your hands splayed out on it as you let your lips trail his jaw, lightly sucking on the skin. Toji can't help but think about how this version of you will be gone in the morning. You won't be as outwardly affectionate, you'll go back to second guessing every move you make with him and shrinking every time he steals kisses from you, instead of confidently kissing him back like you did a minute ago.

You make your way down his neck, pressing kiss after kiss on him before you move towards his ear. "I love you, Toji," you whisper, kissing the shell of his ear after. "Love you, love you, love you soooo much," you barrage, before throwing him off with a bite to his earlobe. You giggle like a menace into his ear, the warmth of your breath luring goosebumps out onto his skin.

He chuckles, repeatedly squeezing the soft skin of your waist between his hands. "Yeah? Tell me again," he murmurs snaking his hands beneath the back of your shirt. Your skin is very warm, and there's nothing to blame but Toji and that shitty wine for making your body react this way.

With uninterrupted hands, you course your fingers through his hair and lean in to bite him again, this time on his neck. Toji chuckles at how you instantly rush to soothe him with your tongue and a warm kiss, even when you inflicted zero pain on him.

"I love you, Toji," you repeat into the wet indentations you left behind. "My love... my handsome man... I cherish you, you know?"

Toji is practically purring at all the affection you're showering him with. The slurring of your words is blocked out and they remain clear as day to him. He manages to hum a deep little "mhm" to your last statement.

"It's just so hard to talk to you sometimes. You... you're so intimidating, sometimes. I don't expect you to understand..." you divert your gaze to his shoulder, not able to look him in the eyes as vulnerability takes sudden control of your emotions. "It seems like I don't appreciate you sometimes—all the time, but I do, Toji. I do appreciate you, and I can't ever say I love you enough to show it. Words aren't always enough."

Toji catches the waver in your voice and his eyes dart to yours. You're tearing up, and you're trying to still your quivering lips by pressing them together.

"Shit," Toji mutters under his breath. You have the saddest expression he's ever seen and it's messing with his heart. He pulls his hands out of your shirt so that he can swiftly pull you into his warm embrace. "Hey," he coos. You're shaking against him, holding your breath to avoid sobbing. Your lungs burn, but you'd rather feel that than make a scene of your tears. "Don't be sad, mama. What's with the tears, hm?" he murmurs. He can feel your tears dampening his shoulder, but the fact that you haven't made a sound is concerning. "Breathe or you'll die," he says, only half joking. He rubs a soothing palm against your back, his other arm around your waist.

You let out what sounds like a mixture between a choked laugh and a sob, slowly but surely regulating your breathing. You don't even feel like saying anything anymore because you know your voice will give way to even more pity.

"You're more than enough for me," Toji says, his chin resting on your head. "I know how you feel, you know how I feel. We're complete." He can feel the way you scrunch his shirt up into your fists. As if he would go anywhere without you. "I get you and you're stuck with me. Got it?" You silently nod against his shoulder in response. "Sit up and let me look at you."

You really don't want him to see you this way. Your eyes feel swollen and you don't feel presentable.

"I can't..." you say, barely audible. You release his shirt and let your hands go limp behind him.

"Why not?"

"I'm not pretty right now. Don't look at me."

"I'm gonna look at you," he challenges with a teasing grin.

"Toji, don't look at me."

"Too late, it's happening. Plan's already in motion," he says, sliding his arms onto your shoulders.

"Toji, don't-" He effortlessly pushes you off his shoulder and gives you a once over. You look defeated and you're unable to look him in the eyes, but at least he can see you now.

"Don't know what you were so worried about. You look the same but more blush-y." You finally give him your slightly reddened eyes, a soft smile appearing on your face. You look like your sober self. "Yeah, you look the same."

"Are you lying?" You ask, still not regaining the full strength of your voice yet.

"I wouldn't tell you if I was, but no, i'm not lying. You're so pretty." Toji wiped away tears that were stuck beneath your eyes, and you giggled. He washed away your sadness within a couple minutes. Toji always did this for you in exchange for your love and affection. He lifted your spirits when you didn't feel deserving of him, and with time, he got much better at recognizing the signs that came with this ridiculous idea you planted in your head.

"You're done loving on me? Already?" He asks in playful disbelief.

"You're not done with me? Do you actually want more?" You ask, hesitantly.

"Don't want more, I need more," he corrects, returning his hands to their rightful place on your waist. "Get all up on me, princess."

You giggle, leaning closer towards him to peck a kiss onto his cheek.

"Mhm, like that," he says, contently, when you pick up the pace and start smothering him. "Yeah, baby, there you go." His forearms go beneath your shirt, encircling around your bare waist and pulling you close to him like before. "Who's getting spoiled like me?" He says through a grin. You're holding back laughs as he continues to praise you for your affection.

"S-Stop," you say through a wheeze, not able to contain the sound any longer when you looked at him.

"What are you laughing at, huh?" He chases you this time, pressing his nose into your cheek before planting a light kiss into your jaw.

"You're so unserious," you say, turning your head as he keeps going with the kisses.

"Mmm... I'm serious about you," he says, feeling the vibration of your laughter against his grin. "So serious."

Your cheeks feel incredibly hot from how much you've been smiling. In this little drunken haze, things are so good. You're so happy, you're so affectionate, and you talk so much. This isn't like you at all, but it's not hurting anyone, especially not Toji. There was one minor slip, but you moved past it so quickly like the words never left your head to begin with. You're just so simple... so easy to take care of.

Toji notices the way your eyes are starting to lid with tiredness, and while he would love for you to doze off in his arms right then and there, you'd probably prefer waking up in a bed.

"Let's go to bed, yeah?" He suggests.

"What? No! I just got here... We can still talk, and kiss and- I'm not even tired."

Toji grins at the way you fight him on this, and he has half a mind to indulge you when you look so adorable, but he has to stand his ground. He's right.

"But, you are. You can't even hold your eyes open, anymore."

You feel sad again because the rest of the night would be going to waste if you both go to sleep early. You're there to spend time with Toji, and yet you feel like it's your fault your time is being cut short. You're thinking you shouldn't have drank the wine so quickly, if at all.

"Listen, doll," Toji says. He doesn't like the sadness that resurfaces on your pretty face. He doesn't think you should look that way because of him. "We're just gonna go lay in bed. We don't have to go to sleep. We can stay up as long as you want. Light on or light off, whatever you wanna do, let's just move it to the room."

You sigh, still not completely convinced that the night isn't over, but Toji managed to persuade you. "Will you carry me, please? My legs feel like jelly."

"Of course. What kind of person would I be if I let you stumble into the room on your own?"

You sigh, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, your face buried into the crook of his neck. "You'd still be my favorite person, but i'd be a little upset..."

Toji stands from the couch, humming in response to your quiet mumbles.

"...but not really upset. Just a little bummed. Not for too long, though, 'cause I love you, but I would expect an apology from you if I fell down," you draw out.

Toji cracks at your little ramblings. It's a ten second walk from the couch to the bedroom, and the whole time you were working through a hypothetical conflict.

"Yeah? You'd want me to say sorry?" He asks, setting you down on the bed.

"Mhm, and then I wouldn't be upset or bummed anymore," you mutter to yourself as you roll onto your back.

"That's fair. Want the light on or off?"

"Off," you blurt. "Let's tell scary stories," you trill, enthusiastically. You pull the blanket over your lower body until it reaches just below your chest.

Toji makes his way to the bed after turning off the light. He takes his shirt off, and out of habit lets it fall to the floor. "We're not telling scary stories this late at night," he says, joining you beneath the blanket.

"But, they're funny," you say, turning to face him. "I don't get scared, either."

"Depends on who's telling the story. I'm sure as hell not gonna feed you a nightmare, doll."

"Boo," you say, lowly. "Whatever, i'm over it already," you mutter, rolling your eyes.

Toji watches you grow more and more tired as you throw random, nonsensical topics at him. You're taking longer to respond by the minute, and you're dozing off while humming in thought. You shake awake each time it happens and try to keep the conversation going, but Toji just shushes you and tells you to go back to sleep.

"I can see the moon through the window," you mumble, looking past him.

"I know, shh..." he hushes you, again.

"There's only like... one star," you whisper, in awe.

"Baby, come here," Toji says, like he's about to lecture you about the rules of sleep, but really he's just thinking that if his body heat doesn't put you down, he's gonna have to stay up with you until you fall asleep on your own.

You scoot closer towards Toji, tucking your arms into your chest when he reaches out to pull you into him the rest of the way. His body exudes so much warmth, you feel like you don't need the blanket at all.

There was nothing left for you to say when you couldn't see or feel anything but him. It was as if you were gone the second he enveloped you in his arms. You were small to the brink of nonexistence, no longer there to tell him what your surroundings were, or to ask him thoughtless, silly questions. You were no longer there to fight off the sleep he only seemed to bring closer towards you. Feeling his warm skin against you made you change your mind about this invisible fiend that was pulling your eyelids down. You now welcomed the calls to rest from your steady heartbeats.

Your silence gave him the answer he needed, but for good measure, he poked at you with a whisper of, "Ma?" and waited a few seconds for your response. Nothing. He sighed and coiled around you tighter. Thoughts of the night ran through his head. Your soft, yet, occasionally bruising kisses and the imprints of your teeth on his skin, your unapologetic laughter, your certainty in using the pet names that claimed him as yours. He was weak for the amount of times you openly told him you loved him. It was a psychedelic dream, to say the least. One he hoped would continue once he followed you into slumber.

You woke up hours later, completely smothered by your bear of a man. All you could do was stare up at the ceiling, while you waited for Toji to wake up because he was literally breathing down your neck. His arm rested over your chest, his legs were tangled with yours, and his face was right beside your face. You weren't feeling the effects of the wine anymore, and luckily, you didn't have a headache or any signs of a hangover. You were back, which meant...

"What are you staring at?" A deep, raspy voice jolts you out of your thoughts.

You look at the handsome face next to you, and as if your heart can hear and see, it wakes up. "Nothing. Just woke up," you lie.

"Mm... you were staring hard at the roof. I thought it came to life or something," Toji chuckles. You smile, briefly, before looking at the ceiling again.

Toji releases you and flips onto his back, wanting to know what's so fascinating about the space you're looking at. "What are you thinking?" He asks, when he discovers nothing but blank space.

You take your time, not wanting to stumble over your words. Your heart skips a beat when he turns his head to look at you. In the time it takes for you to respond, you both could have gone back to sleep again.

"A penny for your thoughts?" he finally says, following the idiom with a question. "Did I even use that correctly?"

You can't help but laugh, nodding your head to answer his question. "I'm thinking about last night. Sorry if I said anything stupid."

Toji turns his body towards you again, thinking the only thing that's stupid is that he's still staring at the roof instead of staring at you. "You didn't. You were calm, from what I got to see, at least."

"So... boring."

"Not boring," he instantly catches. "You were perfect. You didn't have me running around chasing you, you weren't a brat—it couldn't have gone better, ma." He purposely missed something in his less than brief recount of the night to you. He can think back to the emotions that seeped through your little daze, and your insecurity about outwardly showing him love, all he wants, but there's no way in hell he's bringing that up to you, now. "You ramble a lot," he adds, a soft smile emerging on his face.

You can feel your cheeks warming up. "Oh god," you groan in embarrassment. "That's not- Sorry, that sounds... not so fun. Annoying of me, actually."

"Stop, it was cute," he assures, adding more fury to the blush creeping on your face. "Then you wouldn't go to sleep 'cause you kept seeing stuff outside the window."

You wanted to drown yourself in the blanket. Shame and embarrassment were winning their battle against you, as always.

"That was also cute," he says, watching the way your lips twitch as you bite back a smile. "You know my favorite part, though?" He says, grinning as he leans towards your ear.

"N-No, what?" You ask, trying so hard not to giggle.

"When you kissed me and told me you loved me," he murmurs into your ear like it's a dirty secret.

You snicker, the short sound of amusement evolving into laughter within seconds. You throw the blanket over your face and partially over Toji's face. The sight of your veiled body shaking with laughter lured out a couple chuckles of his own.

"That's funny?" He asks, pulling the blanket down, allowing you to see the sly grin he's sporting.

"A little bit," you respond, smiling— a remainder of your laughter.

"Silly girl. Come here," he says, dragging you back into his arms. "There's no reason you should be awake at six in the morning on your day off. Let's go back to sleep," he murmurs into the crown of your head. "We can go out for breakfast, later."

"Okay," you mumble, eyes shut already as you embrace the natural warmth of his body.

"One more thing," he murmurs. You don't raise your gaze, but your ears are open and you're listening closely. "Tell me you love me."

You didn't expect that, but you weren't going to deny him of such a simple thing. The words were easy to recite because you meant them with every fiber of your being. "I love you, Toji," you comply, immediately.

He sighs, contently, almost like hearing those words revitalized him. "Love you, too, mama."

That went out to every version of you.

[seungfl0wer]

*Seungmin Calling You Clingy*

Pairing: Seungmin x Reader (GN)

Genre: Angst

Warning: Not Proof Read, Idk if there’s any real warnings for this if you think so please message me🩵

This is part of a series find the others here:

Bangchan, Minho, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, Jeongin

-🩵

Sitting in the living room getting ready for a movie seungmin came and plopped right down beside you. As you watched the movie you couldn’t help but get annoyed by the person in it. “Why’s this person so up there boyfriends ass?” You said shaking your head “she’s just being clingy no wonder why he’s getting upset with them.”

Seungmin laughed a bit “you know you’re like that sometimes” he teased not meaning anything bad by it however it hurt hearing. “Are.. you saying I’m clingy?” You said looking back at him. “Yeah you are sometimes.” He shrugged. He didn’t seem to see why it might hurt you which was even worse. Seungmin was always blunt with his words but this time his words really dug deep into you. “Do you really think I’m clingy?” You said your voice a bit shaky. “Well yeah I mean you can be clingy sometimes maybe not like that person but definitely can be.”

He saw how you looked upset and continued with “it’s not a bad thing just sometimes you can be a bit much.” Those words hurt even more. ‘Do I really bother him a lot? What if I’m being too clingy and push him away?’ Your head was running about a mile a minute. All you could do is just nod and go “oh” softly. Laying back just zoning off as you watched the movie.

After a few minutes sung kept his eyes on you looking over once in a while “you ok?” He said pulling you a bit to him. You nod “mhm.” He sat there studying your face “I’m sorry if I upset you with what I said you know I don’t lie to you.” He said his voice soft. “It’s fine” you said looking over at him giving him a fake smile. He sighed a bit “well if you wanna talk I’m here ok?” He said kissing your temple.

After that night you started to distance yourself a bit, every little move you made you second guessed yourself. His words just circling in your head. It felt like you were being beaten up by your own brain. You sat in your room crying feeling like you weren’t good enough anymore. Your messages had become short with Min making him feel bad as well, he knew you were upset but didn’t know how to help. He was afraid of pushing you away even more or saying something worse.

Seungmin had went to talk to Chan, to get advice about what exactly to do. “You said what to them?” His voice almost a yell. Sung lowered his head “I didn’t think it would hurt them like this though.” Sung said shaking his head. “Seungmin, they’re giving you what you want. They think they’re being clingy so they’re giving you space” he sighed “you know how much they’re probably hurting right now?” He said shaking his head at him. “You need to fix this before it ends your relationship.”

Seungmins head shot up “you think they’d leave me because of this?” He cried out. Chan shrugged “I don’t know man but I do know you need to go make this right.” He said patting his back. Seungmin nodded getting up, almost running out the door. He drove fast running a stop sign to get to your place.

You were lying in bed curled up in a ball, blankets covered you as you sobbed hard into your pillow. Everything just hurt it hurt so bad you felt like you were gonna throw up. Seungmin didn’t know he got his key and just ran in. He searched the house for you looking around, until he heard you crying. Opening up the door to your room his heart sunk.

It completely shattered at the sight of you. “Y/n” his said his voice low as he walked towards you. You didn’t move at all, as you felt him sit in the bed. You buried your head into the pillow as seungmin rubbed your back. You didn’t wanna look at him you felt like a wreck, I mean you were a wreck. You felt the bed move Sung making his way to your bathroom, you could hear water running as he moved around.

A few minutes later he patted your back softly “hey come here” he said softly helping you up. He wiped your face with a nice cool cloth before leading you to the bathroom. He kissed your forehead softly as he took your clothes off leading you into the bathtub he had filled for you. He took the shower nozzle wetting your before he started to wash it. He softly hummed one of your favorite songs as he washed your hair.

You felt your body finally relax the feeling of the warm water on you. His hands running through your hair massaging your scalp as he ran his hands down your back a bit massaging your shoulders as well. “Do you want to talk right now or do you wanna wait till we get back in bed?” He said softly as he rubbed your shoulders. “Bed” you said your voice raspy from crying so much. He hummed at your answer rinsing your hair before kissing your head again. “You stay here and relax a bit ok?” He said before leaving walking back into your room.

He grabbed some clothes out for you before he took your sheets off your bed. He wanted to clean everything and make everything fresh for you. He changed the sheets, your pillow cases and your blanket out. As he made your bed he also grabbed a glass of cold water and a cup of warm tea for you and sat it beside your bed. He also grabbed a few snacks to sit with the drinks he had grabbed. Placing your favorite stuffie on your pillow he heard you getting out. He placed your clothes on the sink for you and sat at the edge of your bed.

You walked out feeling a lot better than he had been, you smiled a bit seeing all the things he had done for you. Seeing you he stood up motioning you to come to your side of the bed. You nodded laying down in your spot chugging some of the water he had sat for you. Your curled back up in bed feeling Seungs arms slink around you, you both laid in silence for a few minutes before Seungs started to talk.

“I’m sorry your boyfriend is dumb and can’t stop saying jerky things.” He breathed out squeezing you tightly. “You don’t deserve the words I said, but I really didn’t mean it in a harmful way.” He continued trying to find the right words to say “I enjoy how clingy you are, I love that you want to be around me all the time, that you wanna talk to me about everything. I didn’t want you to stop.. I never want you to stop..” his voice trailed off hearing him sniffle a bit “I want you to always cling to me it makes me feel so loved by you like you cherish every moment with me.” He said his voice cracking.

You started to cry a bit burring his face into your back “I can’t believe I hurt you though, I’m sorry it took me so long to come to you I thought you needed space. I thought-“ he stopped you could feel his hands start shaking “I thought my words made you hate me and you’d just end up breaking up with me when you’d see me next.” He cried harder into your back. He’s never really cried infront of you especially not like this. You turned your body to face him wiping his tears away “Min” you said softly kissing him.

“I could never do that, I just- I wanted to give you space and not be clingy. I didn’t wanna cling to you and end up pushing you away. I’m sorry.” You said running your hand through his hair. “No im sorry im the one that said the stupid stuff i did, I love you y/n with all my heart I need to start explaining myself more.” He said softly looking up at you. “I love you babe I love you so fucking much” you said pulling him tightly. “Let’s lay here and calm down hmm? I’ll order some food and we can talk more later if you want.” He said mumbling through your chest.

You nod kissing him again “sounds perfect my love, can we cuddle for a bit before we order?” You smiled making him smile too “of course” he said kissing you lovingly.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[hyewka]

choi yeonjun. | c.yj

PAIRING ▸ bsf!yeonjun x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ fluff, smut, a bit of angst

SYNOPSIS ▸ in which getting your male friend prettied up for a party goes weirdly left.

WARNINGS ▸ sub!jjun, femdom, grinding, protected, dacryphilia 

NOTES ▸ parenthesis around an event refers to the past!! anyway its been like, a hundred years since ive gone ghost but i promised to come back with a fic and here i am!! its a silly best friends fic lol nothing more to it but i always enjoy any semblance of feedback, it'll motivate me greatly <3 enjoy this meal hehe.

tags: @soobhns (hope you enjoy it babes ^^)

"THE HELL'S YEONJUN DOING?"

You swirl your cup, tilting your head as you watch the new topic of your conversation touch up his hair a little too much, running a hand through his unruly strands as his legs barely work to have him stand up straight when a girl approaches him.

Mark looks concerned as he adds in, “And who the fuck got him in those bunny ears? Is it easter or something, geez”

You snort, your drink sputtering out of your mouth, spraying some of it on Taehyun. “Oh my god, Y/N, gross!” he groans loudly, jumping back as if he’s been hit by a water balloon.

“Sorry,” you giggle, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, your eyes still glued to Yeonjun. He’s fumbling awkwardly, trying to maintain a conversation with a girl who’s very clearly interested if the finger trail down his bicep was anything to go by. The rooftop air is especially chilly today, and you wonder if Yeonjun’s goosebumps are any visible to her. He looks like a deer caught in headlights, completely out of his element.

“It’s probably some stupid hazing shit, he never backs down from those.” Hyejoon mutters, scrolling away on her phone.

“But bunny ears? For hazing that seems weak as shit.” Mark responds, seemingly as interested on the train wreck thats about to ensue as you are. Then suddenly, he turns to you, eyes still trained on Yeonjun and the pretty girl. “Dude you’re practically his twin sister—why’s he acting like that?”

You cringe internally at that, smacking Mark’s arm. “Ow! The fuck?” he hisses, rubbing his arm. Twin sister? Oh god, you do not like that one bit.

Not at all. “Shut up Mark.” He only grumbles as he backs away.

You would rather shower in spoiled milk than be referred to as Yeonjun’s sister in any capacity—and it has absolutely nothing to do with what happened a few hours ago.

...It does add on to the grossness of it all though.

—4 hours ago …[5:21 PM]

The moment you step into his flat, you dash down the narrow hallway and into his room, launching yourself onto the bed with a triumphant yell. The plush mattress bounces slightly under your weight giving you a fleeting second of bliss before Yeonjun bursts in, diving towards you. "Not with your outside clothes!" he whines, trying to wrestle you off. "You're contaminating my sacred space!" he adds with mock seriousness, his efforts both frantic and hilarious.

You stick out your tongue childishly, and it serves the job to tick him off. “Man, you’re such a pain,” he groans.

“What should I do anyway? Change into PJ’s I haven’t brought along? Besides!” you retort, struggling to pull your makeup bag out from your tote while Yeonjun’s weight presses down on you. With a triumphant grin, you finally free it and wave it in front of his face. “Where are we supposed to do this then?”

He snorts. “The couch, duh.”

The mere thought of that dark green monstrosity, old and beat-up, sends a shiver down your spine. The last time you sat on it, its worn fabric had felt like sandpaper against your skin, and the patches of stuffing poking through made it seem like you were sitting on a nest of lumpy scars. You couldn't even sit through twenty minutes of the movie with Yeonjun before you had decided to move to the floor.

Your upper lip curls in distaste. “No chance. You need to switch that thing out ASAP.”

Yeonjun shrugs nonchalantly, clearly not as repulsed as you are. “What’s wrong with it? I mean, yeah, it’s seen better days, but it has character.”

“Character? More like a biohazard waiting to happen,” you say, grimacing. “I’m not risking sitting on that thing again. Also, get off, you're killing me.”

Yeonjun lets out a long, resigned sigh, knowing that arguing any further would be a losing battle. "Fine," he mutters, shifting his weight off you. "But at least take your shoes off. You're genuinely a psychopath," he adds.

You relent, rolling off the bed and kicking off your shoes with exaggerated care, just to appease him. Yeonjun narrows his eyes, silently watching you with a playful glint in his gaze, his arms crossed over his chest. You can almost see the gears turning in his head as he observes your antics. "What?" you finally ask, catching him off guard.

He blinks, momentarily flustered, then quickly averts his eyes, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Just counting down how many more years I have to deal with this," he says, gesturing vaguely at your exaggerated movements.

"Yeah, yeah," you say, waving your hand dismissively. "You know you love me."

"Keep telling yourself that," he replies, but his tone is light, the grumble fading away. You click your tongue, making sure to stick out a solid finger behind his back when he stands up to head to the bathroom. Prick.

But you can't keep up the act much longer when you look down at your outfit. It's not overly complicated but you still haven’t thanked him for helping you feel a lot more confident in it than you would've if he wasn't by your side ranting about silhouettes and all his other (not-so) stupid fashion advice.

With a sigh, you allow yourself to flop back onto his bed, your fingers sinking into the soft duvet. As you lay there, you take in the new decorations he's put up on his wall. He only recently moved here, and it's already looking a lot more like him than the last time you paid him a visit. The posters of his favorite bands, the quirky art pieces, and the sleek record player that sits atop a vintage-looking stand, surrounded by stacks of vinyl records—everything screams Yeonjun. Even the smell your brain finally registers as his signature scent subtly creeps up your nostrils; sandalwood, fresh linen and hints of citrus. It calms your nerves—like your body's trained to associate anything about Yeonjun with feeling safe.

You reach out for a familiar-looking photo strip on his desk, your finger stretching as far as it can until you manage to snatch it.

It's a sequence of three pictures of you and Yeonjun back in... high school? Freshman year considering you're sporting a terrible bowl cut that looks like it was done with a soup bowl and a pair of dull scissors. Yeonjun, on the other hand, smiles big with his braces, the metal gleaming under the photo booth's flash.

And just like that, you're suddenly reminded one thing; Yeonjun's always been there with you, for you.

("She's a total bitch anyway."

You gasp, hitting his arm. "What?!" he exclaims, affronted. "I'm starting to think you really enjoy abusing me."

"You just- you can't say that about women!" You try to sniff back the snot running down your nose, but it's futile.

He rolls his eyes. "She slept with Heeseung behind your back. Shes’ earned the title."

You shut your mouth and turn from him, not believing you're seriously trying to defend the ex-friend that had taken enough of a liking of your crush to sleep with him. It isn't the worst offense in the world but considering she's done it behind your back instead of telling you upfront...it leaves a bitter enough taste in your mouth to end the friendship altogether.

"I...really liked her, and I really liked him," you mutter, the admission feeling heavier than you'd expected. "Do you think I'm being childish? It's not like I was dating him or anything."

Yeonjun wraps his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in as he taps his hand rhythmically against your arm.

The summer heat lingers in the air, the warmth from the sun-baked concrete seeping through your clothes. You can feel the rough texture of the sidewalk under your palms, gritty and familiar. "Nope. Feelings are valid."

A silence overtakes you both as you watch the fifth car drive by you. Distant chirping of crickets mingle with the occasional rustle of leaves in the slight breeze. The neighborhood is alive with the soft, ambient sounds of summer nights: a dog barking in the distance, the faint laughter of kids playing a few houses down, the low murmur of a television through an open window.

Suddenly, he tightens his arm around you, providing a comforting squeeze. You lean into him, finding comfort in his presence.

"You know I'd never do that to you, right?" he says softly, breaking the silence.

You look up at him, narrowing your eyes playfully, "Sleep with my male crush? I've always questioned, I don't know."

He gives you a betrayed look and you burst out laughing.)

It's weird how often you reminisce about the past...especially these past few months; sappy and overly sentimental shit that you try not to dwell on every time you hang out. Is this how old people feel?

There's always a time and place, it's just not when he farts into a pillow and practically Dutch ovens you with it. Now, that memory you'd rather attempt to forget as you close your eyes, throwing the photo strip back on his desk exhaustingly.

You don't notice that he's out until you feel water dripping onto your skin. Your eyes shoot open in horror, seeing his face inches from yours, freshly washed and hair slightly damp. He's leaning over you with a look of resignation mixed with amusement, a towel slung over his shoulder. "Enjoy your nap?" he asks, a mischievous grin spreading across his face before he shakes his head vigorously, sending a shower of water droplets from his hair onto your face.

You yelp and scramble up, swatting at the water droplets. "Yeonjun, seriously?" you sputter, wiping your face. "You're such a child!"

"That's ironic because you're even more of a child!" he rebuts with a pout, mimicking a petulant toddler. Talk about ironic. You narrow your eyes at him before exhaling sharply out of your nose, sitting up to make room for him on the bed.

He plops down beside you and it takes you a second to take your eyes off his face—freshly scrubbed and still slightly damp—before remembering why you're here in the first place. Makeup.

Right, makeup.

—3 hours and 12 minutes ago …[6:09 PM]

It was over seven months ago when you and Choi Yeonjun, slightly drunk off soju and beer, were giggling uncontrollably over the dumbest jokes in the dead of night with Beomgyu, his (now ex-) roommate, passed out on the floor. Turns out, shaky hands proved to be absolute dog shit when it came to drawing a straight line. You had silently panicked as you attempted to clean up the eyeliner that you've horrendously drawn on. You had really, really wanted him to like it.

Originally, it started off as a way to tease him, begging to apply eyeliner and some eyeshadow on his lids because you think he’d look gorgeous with them, to which his lips quirked up to, whining about how no man wants to be called ‘gorgeous’ and oh how emasculating it was. Plus, Yeonjun had an inkling your intentions were far less innocent than you let on.

When he finally surrendered around... the sixth time you bring the whole thing up, you admit that your idea of making him look like a clown and getting a good laugh out of his reaction moves itself out of your thoughts the moment he ushers you to scoot next to him and work your magic... whatever that meant.

But hey, it all worked itself out. Oddly enough, from that day on, you think putting makeup on Yeonjun quickly became one of your favorite pastimes beating your recent liking to duck herding (yes, it's a real thing you've spent way too much of your time investing in).

You like to think he enjoys it to some extent too, given the number of times he's let you practice on him, even if he would never admit it outright. But regardless of how relaxing you think it might be for him, he seems to go out of his way to make it as tedious as possible for you.

Every time you start working on his makeup, he fidgets and squirms like a restless child. He'll make funny faces just as you're about to apply eyeliner, or he'll suddenly sneeze, causing a puff of powder to explode into the air. Thankfully it doesn't last long, he either tires himself out or feels too bad to continue torturing your patience. Either way, you appreciate doing this for him a lot more when he's half asleep and relatively still.

Like now for example.

You're like, 99% sure he's dozed off. Considering he's spent the week cooped up in his apartment studying his ass off for two exams, it's not very surprising the all-nighters are catching up to him. Which is exactly why you're wondering the reason hes' chosen to go out to this party anyway.

His breathing is slow and steady, and his head lolls slightly to the side.

Just as you start to apply a touch of blush, his voice breaks the silence. "Don't make it look too obvious."

You’re caught off guard that he's in fact not asleep. "I won't."

"And no crazy blue tint."

You groan, pulling away from his face. Not this again. "C'mon, I only did that once and you've been holding it over my head for three months dude."

He cracks open one eye, peering at you with a mix of exhaustion and amusement. "You made me look like a smurf."

"It was artistic!" you splutter, not believing you're back to arguing about this again. "And you looked good!"

Suddenly, his mouth closes and he cocks his brow. Then his lips twitch into a suppressed smile.

He closes his eyes fully, trying to hide his amusement. "There's absolutely no way you just let that get into your head." you whisper, truly astonished at who you've chosen to be acquainted with for more than half of your life.

"Blah, blah, blah," he mutters, waving a hand dismissively before settling back into the pillow, a small smile playing on his lips. "I know I'm handsome, thank you for the reminder."

You open your mouth to retort, then close it…open it again…and close it once more, dumbfounded. Yeonjun's insufferable when it comes to anything that has to do with his face. His ego is practically impossible to pop.

But if you had to be completely honest with yourself, you don't blame him. You especially don't now as you try to ignore the fact that he's staring you down while you apply tint to his infuriatingly perfect shaped lips. You would never admit that one out loud.

Or the fact that you've thought about kissing Yeonjun a dozen times in the past. You seem to have some weird fixation on them. You would even go as far as to replace thought with imagine. Hell, you’ve been friends for ten years, it would’ve been odd if you hadn’t at least once...right?

It's normal.

("You're weird."

You snap your head around to him, frankly offended, "What?" Is there even a chance of enjoying a party with this nuisance by your side?

"Don't act dumb, you've been staring at my lips the entire night." Yeonjun tilts his head, puckering his lips, "Trying to kiss?"

You're horrified as you blink rapidly, your cheeks burning red, completely caught off guard. "N-no? How drunk are you?"

"That was a no with a question mark. We can try it out if you want." He shrugged, leaning in closer to you, of course with his lips annoyingly puckered and his eyes closed.

You're standing in the cramped kitchen of a typical frat house, the air thick with the smell of spilled beer and cheap cologne. The counters are cluttered with half-empty bottles, red solo cups, and discarded food wrappers.

Without thinking, you had grabbed the nearest drink and thrown it at him. The cold liquid had splashed across his chest, soaking his second favorite shirt. You know it's his second favorite because he's managed to pester you about it two years after this incident.)

You don’t necessarily like Yeonjun; hell no, you just absolutely appreciatively despise how well he's grown. He’s always looked cute—you distinctly remember the countless girls who handed you notes for him in elementary school or some who've befriended you in high school to try and get his number. You just never reckoned you’d be one of the girls checking him out.

As you finish applying the clear gloss to his lips, you can’t help but let your gaze linger. His eyes are closed and his lashes casting delicate shadows on his cheeks, and those lips— god damn it are they stupidly inviting.

You gulp down the irrational thoughts bubbling up, trying to focus on anything but the quickening of the beating in your chest. You’ve always been the one in control, the one who didn’t fall for his charms like everyone else. Is this a side effect of being under a dry spell for longer than a month? Being stuck in the unfavorable position of lusting over your long time best friend?

That must be it because when he flutters his eyes open, the world seems to pause. Just for a second, all that fills your thoughts is just how absolutely gorgeous he looks. It hurts.

“Done,” you whisper, your voice barely steady. "Went with the au naturelle look, per request."

“Thanks,” he replies softly, his smile warm and genuine. But then you're sitting there longer than you intend to and the silence stretches out longer than appropriate, and he snorts lightly. "What?"

You blink out of your daze, shaking your head, laughing airily. “Nothing." You clear your throat, awkward. "You just look... pretty.”

But then his reaction to that pulls you right back in your trance. For the first time, a cheeky reply doesn’t leave his lips. Instead, he’s silent and he looks…shy. That's new.

“Gorgeous,” you correct yourself, nodding. “You look pretty gorgeous.” Can you say that? You don't have a clue.

“Aren’t you just complimenting your makeup skills?” He teases, though it doesn’t nearly have the same effect as it usually does when his eyes are so doe-like, giving him a weirdly innocent look. 

You would never describe Yeonjun as a puppy, but if you had to before this, he'd be more like an annoying chihuahua. Right now, he's anything but. He looks innocent. Innocent and beautiful, like a hybrid mix of an angelic, golden retriever. "Besides, maybe not the ideal impression I want to make tonight. Does that whole pretty boy thing work with women? We're probably not that advanced into the world yet. Hey! You're a woman so you should know; do you think it's going to be a little threatening or—"

His rambling fades out by like, the first word— you think you might as well just be under a spell. Because once again, you find your gaze's zeroing in on his plump, pink lips.

Fuck... should you just go for it?

Your heart races, pounding in your ears, and every rational thought slowly slips away to go knows where, leaving behind only the burning desire to close the distance between you.

Just as you lean in, a phone dings, shattering the moment. Yeonjun’s eyes flicker towards the sound, subtly breaking the spell.

He pulls out his phone, glancing at the screen with a slight frown. “Taehyun said in the group chat that he’d pick us up.” He whispers. “Meaning I don’t have to drive or anything, yay.”

You smile in response, or try to as you try to gather your scattered thoughts.

“When’s he coming?”

“Uh, hold on. Let me ask.” You should move away, just a little further—you really, really should. Take your chance now and go to the bathroom to calm yourself down. It's the combination of Yeonjun being unfairly attractive, the fact that you haven't had sex in ages, and the proximity. If you eliminate one of those factors, you won't make the huge mistake you're so, so close to making.

But…you don’t want to. You don't want to ignore the burning desire of jumping his bones right this moment...for lack of better words.

“He hasn't even showered yet, Jesus christ.” Yeonjun snickers, looking down at his phone then back up at you. His squeaky laugh dies down pretty quickly when he notices you aren't sharing the humor, silently putting his phone face down on the bedside table. “What?” he says again. The shy expression’s back, his eyebrows tilt up and he looks like a damn kicked puppy…exactly your type.

Your eyes twitch and narrow with hesitation as you bite the inside of your cheeks; this feels wrong. You could stop it from going any further, keep your juvenile attraction from altering anything between you and Yeonjun. But when his tongue flicks out to wet his pink lips, you curse the gods for making the forbidden apple irresistibly tempting.

"Your teeth are pretty."

He furrows his brows, clearly taken aback. "That's an odd thing to—"

"I like it when you smile," you blurt out, your voice barely above a whisper.

"...Th...ank you?" He stammers, confusion mixed with curiosity in his eyes.

You take a deep breath, then out. "Yeonjun. Can I fuck you?"

He blinks. It’s silent as his eyes dart around like this is some elaborate prank, expecting a group of people to pop out with a camera in his face. You can see the visible gulp in his throat, his fingers hesitantly toying with the hem of your shorts, showing that he absolutely knew jack shit what to do with his hands. “Can you what?” He laughs nervously.

You've always imagined how it'd be like to kiss Choi Yeonjun.

And now that you’re experiencing it, all thoughts about this being a silly little thing you’ve entertained ever so rarely, hits the fan.

He feels against you like everything you imagined and more; the pillowy softness of his plump lips that feels so comfortable as they open slightly more each time it could lull you to sleep. His breathing that comes out in short gasps the harder you press yourself against him, having you dig your nails further into his face. His pitched whines drowned out by your feverish lips as you kiss him over and over again, feeling yourself get hooked by the minute.

You should stop. You should.

That’s what you plan to do when you finally pull away from the kiss, wipe your lips of any remnants of him, get off the bed and sprint the hell out of his house, then preferably find a way to blame it on female hormones or whatever. College guys never question that, do they?

But for the second time tonight, your mind draws blank and your eyes are stuck to his face, the slight smudge of the tint you applied and his heavy lidded eyes, his rising chest, the print of your nails showing up red on his cheeks…God, you’ve got absolutely no self control. “Um, do... that?” You breathe out.

You haven't entertained the idea that he might reject your advances, until now that is. And then what you've just done would probably be counted as assault. And it'd be too awkward to speak ever again and oh god, what the fuck have you done—

Your reverie's broken when Yeonjun suddenly leans in, capturing your lips in another kiss. His hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer before he finally moves you to straddle his lap, the initial hesitation gone. The intensity of his response takes you by surprise, but you quickly melt into it, your body responding to him with an urgency that matches his own. The makeup kit gets knocked off the bed in your fervor, and neither of you care.

“Yeonjun. We—we won’t do this again right?” You ask, breathless, as you start to roll your hips slightly into him in an attempt of reliving that incessant need at your core.

“Yeah…yeah.” he sighs out, seemingly a goner when you increase even just a bit of friction.

“This is like, totally a one time thing that we’d just randomly bring up in a game of truth or dare as a fun anecdote and—and we’d be like those cool best friends with a cool little platonic relationship that’ve hooked up once. Totally normal.” you ramble, your resolve breaking as you grind against his rapidly growing boner. “Right?”

“Mm, totally.” he whines, his eyes heavy with lust. He looks completely consumed by the sensation he’s feeling and it fuels your desire for him tenfold. You kiss him again, your noses bumping against each other as you take his pretty lips in yours over and over again. You pull away slightly enough to catch your breath, a thin string of saliva connecting your lips, glistening in the dim light. Your faces are only inches apart, so close you can hear the gulp he takes, his breath warm and ragged against your skin.

"Whatever you say." he murmurs, his voice husky.

Oh. Oh.

This is totally unfair.

You brush your thumb gently across his bottom lip, savoring the way he shivers under your touch. "Whatever I say, huh?”

He nods slightly, “Yeah.”

You bite your lip before deciding to trail kisses down his jawline, your breath hot against his skin. You can feel his pulse quickening beneath your touch, the small gasp escaping his lips as you press a lingering kiss just below his ear is something you can only describe as maddening to your state. “You’re sensitive,” you note lightly before continuing your journey down his neck. 

You gulp when he decides on finally gripping your ass, taking a bit of control on your pace. He rolls his head back slightly, chuckling, “Fuck, gonna make me nut in my pants if you keep goin’ like that.”

You need to hear more of the whining, more of his cute noises and more of his pathetic display. You want to hear him beg.

“Hands off.”

Clarity washes over his eyes a little more as he falters, his hands lessening its grip, blinking perplexed. The innocent looks back almost immediately and it drives you insane. “Keep them above your head, you don’t get to touch me unless I tell you to.”

You don’t wait for a reply before immediately sinking down to nip at his neck again, soothing the spot with your tongue, and he gasps. Yeonjun whines like earlier and it’s so …primal. Actually you don’t even think he would’ve protested in the first place because he seems entirely fine like this, completely at your disposal as his moans start to pick up intensity way quicker than you anticipated. 

"Holy shit," he breathes, his voice barely a whisper. "You’re driving me crazy."

You smile against his skin, leaving one last kiss before pulling back to meet his eyes, which he visibly pouts at. You cup his cheeks. "I know. But don’t get too excited just yet.”

He lightly scoffs, “Way to stroke your ego.”

“Learned from the best.” you retort, your hands moving quickly to unbuckle his jeans.

His breath hitches as he watches you. “Are we really going... all the way?”

You pause, raising a brow, searching his eyes for any hesitation. “...Do you not want to?”

“Condoms in second drawer.”

—2 hours and 1 minute ago …[7:20 PM]

“P-please...please. Please. Move. Just a little." he hiccups the last plea, his tear stained face buried in your neck. "You're s-so fucking cruel," he says, his voice muffled.

"Sorry, I kinda like it when you're crying."

His breath shudders against your skin; you can feel his desperation, his need, and it sends a thrilling rush through you. You gently pull back, just enough to see his face, his eyes wet with unshed tears, his lips parted in a silent plea.

Slowly, deliberately, you let your hands trace the lines of his body, feeling the tension and desire coiled tightly beneath his skin. You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, savoring the soft gasp that escapes him. "My jjunie's such a good boy," you drawl.

He trembles under your touch, his hands gripping you tighter, silently begging for more. You move your hips up slightly, just enough to elicit a strangled moan from him, the sound raw and needy.

"Do you like it when I make you cry?" you murmur against his ear, your voice a sultry whisper.

He nods frantically, unable to form words, his breath hot and ragged. The sight of him so vulnerable, so utterly at your mercy, ignites a fierce desire within you. You bite your lip, relishing the power you hold over him, the way his body responds to your every touch, every whisper.

"Are you usually like this?" you suddenly muster to ask, finding too much enjoyment playing with this poor boy.

He only whines as a response and you laugh, increasing your pace on his cock as you go up and down. "Y'know...so pliable."

Yeonjun bites back a sob of pain, feeling like he's going to die from the power he’s exerting to hold back. He grips onto the sheets, his fingers turning white from the strain. "Aw, look at you, poor baby. Am I going too slow?"

He nods again, more vigorously this time, drool seeping out the edge of his lips as his mouth hangs open, thinking you're going to spare him just a bit.

If you're going to do this once with him, you'd rather do anything but.

His face falls when you suddenly stop, his eyes blown wide, hair a disheveled mess; he looks absolutely debauched. This time more closely resembling a fallen angel. "Fuck me on your own if I'm so bad at this."

"I didn't- you're not bad at-" even when he tries to respond, he doesn't hesitate to try and switch positions, but you immediately put a stop to it, pressing him back down firmly. "No. I'll still be on top."

He furrows his eyebrows in confusion, eyes wide. "Then... how?"

You shrug, a teasing smirk playing on your lips. "Figure it out."

You gasp when he starts massaging your breasts, not expecting the sudden touch. "You're the worst," he moans against your tit once he engulfs your nipple in his mouth, suckling rather roughly while simultaneously raising his hips off the bed, struggling to slam his cock in a fitting pace.

His bangs fall over his eyes, and his lips are swollenly red from how hard he's bitten them. You would label his determination adorable if it wasn't for the fact that you currently had him stretching your pussy out.

"Yeah— but probably the best fuck you've had in a while." you manage to grit out.

"You humor yourself."

You can't take him too seriously when his words are so slurred and barely coherent with how eager he is to bury himself between your tits and lather them with his spit.

"You're such a dog," you purr, "C'mon, don't give up on me doggy. I can tell you're just desperate to let it all out."

He groans, sucking harder as he starts up again, frantically fucking up into you. You can tell hes already a goner when his eyes start to roll to the back of his head, the moans of your name short and incessant.

"Don't get dumb on me already."

He whispers sorry's over and over again, nodding his head.

"Fuck--f-fuck, why're you doing this to me?” his breath hitches, whining like a baby. What you're completely unaware of as you get lost in your pleasure— the last thing Choi Yeonjun wants is to get out of this looking like a desperate bitch. Especially to you.

But he simply can't help it.

Hes' never been under these circumstance. Hes never sounded like this for any girl, hes never let himself get this vulnerable. And for it to be during sex? It's the closest thing to a nightmare.

But he can't dwell on those thoughts when you lean over to his ear, showering him with praises on how pretty he looks and oh how well he's doing. That he's just getting you so fucking close.

When you pull away again, the only thing that's on his mind is just how...pretty you look.

“B-bet you tell other guys that all the time,” his smirk twitches at that, getting himself worked up.

You tilt your head. “Calling them pretty?” you implore, rolling his nipples between your fingers just to elicit that perfect reaction from him; he gives you just as much, half gasping half moaning against his better will, “A few, yeah” you tease.

That doesn't seem to be the right thing to say because his face immediately falls and your intention of having light banter goes to the back burner as you slightly panic, feeling bad and kissing him in attempt of making it up to him non verbally. But that doesn't do the job because the moment you pull away, he's still frowning.

You sigh, rubbing your thumb on his cheek affectionately, "But you're the one I'm most honest about."

He doesn't hesitate to lean into the familiar touch, and you can't help but coo at how cute he's acting. "You mean that?"

You press your forehead to his, your breath mingling with his, and nod. "Mhm, the prettiest."

That does it.

Slowly, he starts to thrust upward, trying to match the rhythm he had previously set. You can feel his desperation, his need to please you, and it sends a thrill through your body.

"That's it," you purr, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Show me how badly you want it baby."

He groans, the new angle allowing him to hit deeper inside you with each thrust. His hands find their way to your hips, guiding you to move with him. You can feel the tension in his body, every muscle working to bring you both closer to the edge. You purposefully clench around his swollen cock and he buries his head against you again. You let him as you thread through his hair.

"You feel so good, you smell so good, you—" he breathes, his voice trembling with the effort. "Please, let me—fuck, cum please—c-can't hold it any longer."

You press your lips to his neck, sucking lightly as you murmur, "Not yet, baby. I want to feel you beg for it."

His thrusts become more frantic under you, the sound of skin slapping against skin being proof, his breath coming out hot and ragged against your skin. "Please," he begs sweetly, his voice a desperate whisper. "I need it so bad. Please, let me cum. I'll do anything."

Your own desire reaches a fever pitch as you watch him unravel beneath you. "Anything?" you tease.

"Anything," he repeats, his eyes locking onto yours, filled with a mixture of desperation and adoration.

With a wicked smile, you finally relent, moving your hips in sync with his thrusts, the friction building to an unbearable intensity. "Cum for me," you command, your voice low and sultry. "Now."

His body tenses, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he finally lets go, the release hitting him with shuddering force. The sight of him coming undone beneath you pushes you over the edge, your own climax ripping through you, leaving you both breathless and trembling.

"Holy shit."

You chuckle, collapsing to his side, both of you now staring at the ceiling. But slowly, the realization starts to set in.

You just...had sex with Choi Yeonjun. Whatever bliss you were stuck in, dissipates as nut clarity takes over. You just fucked your best friend. And even worse, you dirty talked. Suddenly, you feel shame and embarrassment course through your bloodstream, making your cheeks burn and your stomach twist.

"D-did you... like, cum?"

You avoid eye contact, preferring the staring contest you're having with his stupid ceiling as you wrap your naked body with his sheets. "Yep."

An awkward silence hangs between you, the air thick with unspoken emotions. You can feel his eyes on you, searching for something, but you keep your gaze fixed on the ceiling, counting the imperfections in the paint.

"Splendid," he finally says, the word hanging in the air.

Splendid...splendid?

You burst out in a fit of giggles, unable to hold it back. The look of disbelief on your face is mirrored by the amusement in his eyes. "Splendid? Really?" you manage to say between giggles, your body shaking with laughter.

He blushes, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "What? I use big words when I'm nervous."

"Splendid's a big word to you?"

"Okay, low blow."

"Man, just pass me my clothes," you laugh, shifting to sit up on the bed. The blanket is draped over your chest, and you look at him expectantly as he fetches the ones that got on the floor.

He watches you, a slight smile playing on his lips, but confusion clouds your eyes. What's he expecting? "Turn around."

He looks even more puzzled as he says, "But we just had sex. Like penis in vagina sex. I saw it all."

"Yeah, and never again, Yeonjun," you retort, still giggling as you reach out for your clothes. "Just turn around."

He rolls his eyes but obliges. "Fine, fine. I’m turning around."

You quickly gather your clothes, slipping into them while keeping an eye on his back. "Damn, so that really was just a one-time thing."

"Mhm," you hum, then get off his bed fully dressed to go to his bathroom and at least make your hair look presentable. As you run a brush through your hair, you glance at your reflection, shaking your head at the state you're currently in.

Meanwhile, Yeonjun is still in bed, naked and absolutely spent, watching you as you step out of the bathroom, heading to his closet to fetch him some pants since ...there's a big wet spot on the ones he was going to wear to the party. As you rummage through the closet, something catches your eye, and you pull out a pair of familiar bunny ears.

Your bunny ears from high school.

You come out of the closet, holding the ears up with a look of surprise. "You still have this?"

Yeonjun glances over, his eyes widening in recognition before he breaks into a sheepish grin. "Oh, those. Yeah, I found them a while back and couldn't bring myself to throw them away."

You break into a grin, walking over to the bed, playfully placing the bunny ears on his head. "You look ridiculous," you laugh, pulling out your phone to take pictures of him.

He groans but doesn’t stop you, knowing it's futile. "Great, now you're going to have blackmail material for life."

You snap a few photos, giggling at how silly he looks. "Oh, absolutely. These are going to come in handy."

He chuckles, shaking his head slightly as the ears flop around. "Just promise you won't show them to anyone. My reputation can't handle it."

You laugh, tucking your phone back into your pocket. "Don't worry, these are just for me."

See?

You and Yeonjun are just fine. Was it a little awkward the first few seconds? Sure. But there's absolutely nothing in the world that can get in the between of you two.

—present …[9:24 PM]

Noticing how much more comfortable he seems now, everything else fades into background noise— he’s almost right back to his usual self. Something about that bothers you as you take a big gulp of your drink, feeling the burn as it slides down your throat. Suddenly, you stand up, blinking away the dizziness. “I need to sober up. Hyejoon, come with me to the bathroom.”

“Huh? Oh, okay.”

It’s a hassle to find the bathroom, but when you do, you quickly lock the door behind you and your friend. You rush to the mirror, staring at your reflection before turning on the water to wash your face.

What’s wrong with you? Is there something wrong with you? It must be the alcohol.

“You feeling alright?” she whispers, her brows furrowing in concern.

You splash your face with freezing water over and over again, trying to snap out of it. The one question that plagues your thoughts over and over again feels dooming; did you make a mistake?

“Hey,” she pulls you back to face her. “Are you okay?”

You stare at her in silence for a bit until you end up cracking a firm smile, “Yeah, just needed to get my head out of the gutter.”

[idleoblivion]

"Yes, Professor" Crewel x GN Reader

Synopsis: The allowance Crowley gives you just isn’t enough. Maybe you can convince your alchemy professor to assist you somehow…

Part 2 Part 3

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: Literally the first smut I've ever written so I'm so nervous to post this, I don't know what possessed me to write this but here we are lol.

Warnings: Teacher/student relationship, gn reader, shy/nervous reader, semi-public sex, mutual masturbation, dirty talk, unprotected sex, overuse of the word 'puppy'

You knock on the door to his office three times and hear shuffling for a moment on the other side. 

“Come in.”

You open it and take a few steps in before spotting him at his desk. Divus Crewel, your alchemy professor, as he sorts through a stack of what you assume are the lab reports you turned in earlier that day. He stops what he’s doing and motions you to a chair in front of his desk. 

“You said you wanted to speak to me, yes? I hope you weren’t lying about it being important.”

You swallowed and tried to straighten your posture as you sat down. “No, I wasn’t. Thank you for meeting with me.”

He looks you over and you feel your resolve weakening. Maybe this really wasn’t a good idea after all. 

Crewel meets your eyes expectantly. “Well, what is it then?”

You can barely continue to make eye contact with how tight your chest feels with anxiety. You play with your hands anxiously in your lap. After a few seconds of silence, he continues. 

“I don’t have all evening, pup. Tell me what you’re here for, quickly.” His tone became more sharp, prompting you to nervously begin. 

“So you know, about my…. um, living situation and uh, money… I, uh, I don’t really have a lot and m-my clothes and uniform are a wreck, and…. and my friends talk about seeing movies and going out but I-“

“Puppy,” he interrupts you, “I am aware of your circumstances. However, I am also aware that the headmaster does supply you a small allowance for food and clothes, even if they may be….” He stops himself from finishing his sentence as he looks at your uniform on you. “Never mind. I won’t lie and say I feel no sympathy for you, but if you’re about to ask me to start funding you as well, the answer is no. I could not allow myself to freely spoil every puppy who is less fortunate in my class.”

“I…well, I-“ you stutter, but will yourself to continue, “I didn’t say it would be for free.” The last part barely comes out as a whisper, but the look on his face tells you he heard it well. You shift in your seat at his change in expression. 

“Oh? Well, it still wouldn’t be considered appropriate of me to take bribes or favors from students, but…” he trails off for a moment, and you notice an increasing intensity in his gaze, “I suppose I can hear you out.”

If you were anxious before, you were almost panicky now. You hadn’t expected to actually get this far, for him to actually consider your offer and not just scold or report you, but you couldn’t deny the building excitement inside you either. 

“If… if you help me, I’ll, um… well, uh, what would you want me to do?” Struggling to find the confidence yourself, you try to make him spell it out, but he must realize what you’re doing as his smirk only grows. 

“I think you had something in mind to offer me, puppy, and if you really want my help you’re going to have to say it.” He stands up and removes his oversized fur coat and lays it on his chair behind him. “That’s an order, from your master. Tell me what you’ll do for me.”

He leans over his desk, looking at you smugly. Part of you wonders if he knew this is where your conversation would head, but you quickly disperse that thought and stand up yourself. 

“…Anything. Anything you want, I’ll do it.” You hesitantly step towards his desk and lean in. 

He laughs lightly under his breath, then looks back at you. 

“We’re just going in circles, aren’t we? Alright, puppy, I’ll be generous today and help you. Come here.”

You walk around the desk to stand in front of him directly. His gloved hand comes up to your face and holds your jaw gently. He leans down some, and speaks to you in a low voice. 

“You know, there’s that Al-Asim boy and Kingscholar, among others, who have plenty of wealth to throw around at this school. So, what brought you to my office and not their dorms, puppy? If you can say that, I’ll give you a reward.”

His hand on your face forces you to keep looking at him. You take one more deep breath before quietly answering. 

“I…I want you. Not them. You.”

He smiles at that and gives you a quick peck on the forehead. “Good puppy. Now sit on my desk.”

You lift yourself onto his desk and he walks forward, caging you in with his arms. He leans down and kisses you gently at first. Just his lips on yours has your body burning up as you wrap your arms around him. You let him slip his tongue in and he groans into your heated kiss. 

“You know,” he pauses and takes a step back, “I think I’ve still let you get your way too easily.” He pulls his desk chair back up and sits down while removing his gloves. “So, be a good puppy and get rid of these.” He grabs and tugs on the pants of your uniform. 

You feel your face get even hotter but comply, taking them off with your underwear and tossing them to the floor. You instinctively try and keep your legs shut, but he tsks at you and pries them open. 

He bites his lip as he looks at you, then meets your eyes with a predatory look. “Touch yourself for me.” 

You begin slowly, nervous and self-conscious under his stare, but the bulge straining against his pants tells you you have no reason to be. You try to look away from him but he calls your attention back immediately. 

“Eyes on me. That’s an order.”

You hesitantly obey and fix your gaze back on him. He undoes his belt and frees his cock from his pants. Your hands slow as you watch him intently. 

“I didn’t tell you to stop, puppy. Keep going.”

You’re both touching yourselves now, his eyes following every desperate movement of your fingers as you get more and more aroused. Watching him stroke himself to the sight of you adds to your embarrassment and pleasure. You bite your lip to stifle your voice. 

“Puppy, you want to me to fuck you?”

You’re ashamed of the whimper you let you out when he says it, but nod vigorously anyway. 

“Say it.”

“Yes professor, please fuck me.”

“Stop then. Hold your legs open for me.”

You obey and he walks back over to you. He kisses you again, deep and passionate while he undoes the tie of your uniform and opens your shirt. He gently pulls it off of you before his hands come up to grope your chest. 

He pulls your hips closer to the edge, and you can feel him start teasing you with the head of his cock. You bury your face in his shoulder as he starts inching himself into you. You moan feeling yourself stretch for him. He grunted as he bottomed out in you, then held still for a moment. 

He pulls you back away from his shoulder to look at you, and smirks at your lustful, blissed out face. He gives you no further warning before he starts moving, feeling you clutch onto him as he thrusts. 

You can no longer stop yourself from moaning loudly, with how deep he feels inside you and him nipping at your neck while his hips never slow or stop, he fucks you steady and hard. 

“Look at you, getting so loud. Is it good, puppy? You like it?”

“Ah- yes, yes professor, so good I-“

You nearly squeal as a particular thrust leaves you reeling, and he moans as he feels you tighten around him. He sped up, fucking you faster and harder until you felt tears welling up in your eyes. 

“Crying for me, puppy?” He smiled and licked a tear that had fallen down your cheek. The pressure building inside you was getting to be too much. 

“Professor, p-professor I’m-“ you gasped as he bit you on the shoulder and grabbed your hips roughly.

“Cum for me, puppy. You can do it, be good for me.”

With a wail, your orgasm hit you hard, making you keel over and grab onto Crewel for support. Your body was on fire and he didn’t stop for a moment, he just kept holding your hips with a tight grip you while he pounded into you harshly. He cursed under his breath, praising you in your ear as he chased his own release.

“Fuck puppy I’m close, take it, fuck-“

He finally releases and you feel his cock twitch as he cums inside you. The warm feeling has you softly moan again, despite how absolutely exhausted your body was. 

You both took a few moments to finish coming down from your highs. He makes you look at him again, and smirks at how fucked out you look. 

“So, we’ll get you some new clothes this weekend, puppy? That sound good?”

You tiredly nod, and he kisses you again.

[fxrmuladaydreams]

choices and livestreams (sv5) (dr3)

pornstar!seb x pornstar/camgirl!reader , pornstar!daniel x pornstar/camgirl!reader

summary: seb wants you back in his life, but have you already put him in the past?

notes: i know i said no more posts until after the holidays but i got this done early so here it is, also i felt bad leaving you with the carlos angst then saying peace out

warnings: !! CONTAINS SMUT, MINORS DNI !! masturbation (m & f), sex toys (dildos)

prev part next part

Sebastian sat at his computer and watched as Daniel played with you. He brought you over the edge again and again and again, and Sebastian couldn’t even get hard. He tried to tease himself, to slowly stroke his cock up and down, when that didn’t work he tried just wrapping his hand around himself and just jerking himself off, but still nothing.

The only parts where he would feel himself twitch with interest was when you had the vibrator taped to your leg. His cock would stiffen as he watched you come undone, then immediately soften when Daniel walked back into the shot.

He groans as he rests his head on his desk. He glances back up at the screen when you scream out during your last orgasm. He feels himself stiffen as the camera moves to show all of your release leaking out of you. He could get off if he just replays this four second clip over and over.

His jaw clenches when he hears Daniel’s voice.

“You were so good for me, my good little bunny.”

His words make Sebastian want to throw his computer against a wall.

He rolls his eyes as he sees all of the likes the video has, but feels a sense of pride wash over him at some of the comments.

where is sebastian?

daniel fucks her fine, but sebastian really knew how to wreck her

this will be fine to jerk off to until we get more videos with bunny and sebastian

Sebastian glances at his phone next to him. For what must be about the twentieth time today, he thinks about texting you. You’ve gone radio silent since leaving his house last week, and he’s started to really miss having you around.

He types out a quick text, just something saying hello, and that he enjoyed your video with Daniel. He stares at it for a moment, then huffs and deletes the message. He very much did not enjoy your video with Daniel. And what kind of masochist would he be if he told you he enjoyed watching someone else fuck you?

His phone buzzing pulls his thoughts away from you. There’s a notification from the girl he had recently filmed with. It’s got a link to their mew video, and a few flirty emoji’s.

He feels his stomach churn, remembering their filming day. It didn’t come as easy as filming with you did. She was trying way too hard to please him, and he seemed out of it almost the entire time, but with some skillful editing it made a half decent video.

He swipes the notification away, and opens your messages again.

Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a bit, how is everything?

He presses send before he can overthink it, deciding that even a sliver of attention from you is enough to make up for any consequences that could come from trying to get closer to you again.

You’re with Daniel when you see the text from Seb. He’s leaning back on his couch, with you sitting between his legs, your back resting against his chest. He’s got an arm thrown over your shoulder, while his other hand draws patterns along your arm. He put on a movie for the two of you to watch, something that you really hadn’t been paying much attention to.

Daniel doesn’t want to seem nosy, but the scowl on your face is worrying, especially because you’ve been staring at your phone for the past few minutes.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, shifting slightly.

You shake your head and sigh. “Nothing.” You toss your phone to the other end of the couch and bury yourself further into Daniel’s chest.

“C’mon sweetheart, I can tell something’s bothering you.” He says.

“It’s nothing. Seb just texted me.” You tell him quietly, your eyes locked onto his tv.

“And it was a bad text?” He strokes your cheek softly.

You turn so that you’re now laying on him, chest to chest.

“He said he hasn’t heard from me in a while and wants to know how everything is.”

Daniel hums. “And how is everything? If one were to want to know.” He feins disinterest in your answer, but holds his breath waiting for a response.

You slowly start to smile. “Everything is going well, I think.”

He lets out a breath and flashes you his own grin. “Good, I’m glad.”

You spend the evening with Daniel, cuddled up on his couch. You try to focus on him, but you just keep thinking about Seb. He’s made himself within reach again, but it could end up the same way it did last time. Is risking your blossoming relationship with Daniel really worth taking that chance?

A part of you feels guilty when he asks if you want to stay the night and you turn him down. You can see the disappointment flash across his face, but he quickly hides it.

You bid him goodnight with a quick kiss on the cheek, leaving him alone as you drive back to your own home. You throw your things down on your couch and pull your phone out of your pocket as you make your way to your room.

You type out a reply to Sebastian, then set your phone face down on your desk.

I’m good, how are you? I can’t really talk right now, I’m about to film a livestream.

It’s meant to be a harmless text, but a part of you knows that you want his attention.

You change into a pretty baby pink lacy lingerie set. You set up your camera and laptop and check to make sure you’re camera ready. You start your stream and watch as your usual viewers start to join. You make a few flirty comments, telling them how much you missed them.

Sebastian doesn’t seem to join, or maybe just hasn’t read your text, so you start with your stream without him. You tease yourself through your underwear, letting out breathy moans when your fingers brush against your clit.

You pull your panties to the side and push a finger inside of yourself. It does almost nothing for you, so you push a second in as well. It’s not at all comparable to Seb or Daniel, but your viewers seem to be enjoying it from the tips they send you.

After a few minutes you pull your hand away from your cunt and reach next to you for a dildo. You’re drawn to your purple one, the length reminding you of how deep Sebastian was able to push inside you. But you spot your blue one too, the girth would stretch you out and really give your viewers a show.

You hold the blue toy in front of your camera, showing it to your audience.

i can’t wait to watch her fall apart on that dick

there’s no way she’ll be able to take that

You set the dildo up on your floor and raise yourself above it. Your eye catches a comment before you lower yourself down.

be a good bunny schatz - sebv

You flush at the comment. A new wave of arousal rushes through you as you lower yourself onto the silicone toy. It’s a struggle to take it, the head stretching you out more than you have before. The pain quickly turns into pleasure as you ease yourself lower and lower on the toy, until it’s fully sheathed inside you.

You pause as you look back up at your camera. You look wrecked already, your eyes half lidded as your mouth hangs open.

“‘S so big.” You moan.

You read another comment from your computer that makes you clench around the toy.

such a good bunny, taking that dick all the way inside you. now bounce on it sweetheart - dannyric

You bounce up and down on the dildo, moaning out as it stabs at your soft spongey spot over and over again. Tears fall from your eyes, the pleasure is too much.

“Please, please, may I cum? I want to cum so bad!” You beg.

You don’t know who you’re asking, you mind far too cloudy to be thinking straight, but your eyes search for the two usernames that send you over the edge.

cum for me bunny - sebv

you’re so pretty when you beg, you can cum now bunny - dannyric

You cry out as you reach your peak, your body losing control, and all sense of pace as you ride the toy through your orgasm.

You clench around it as tips come flooding in. You slowly lift yourself off it, whimpering at the empty feeling between your legs. The dildo is coated in your milky white release. You lift it up and lick a long stripe up the side, moaning at the taste of yourself.

You flirt a little more with your viewers, then say goodbye and end your stream.

The clean up process is lonely, you try to keep your balance as you lean against your bathroom counter, wiping up the mess between your legs. You change out of your lingerie and throw it in your laundry pile. You reach for a sweater in your closet, but pause when you see what’s before you.

Folded on one of the shelves is Seb’s sweatshirt, the one he let you use the first time you filmed with him. The grey fabric is soft between your fingers, begging to wrap you up and keep you warm.

Hanging up on the rack is Daniel’s hoodie. He insisted that you hold onto it for a while after your night at the diner. It still smells like his cologne, well his cologne and a slight smell of the diner food you shared with him.

Your heart aches as you look back and forth between the pieces of clothing. You reach out and grab a sweater of your own, refusing to make any decisions tonight.

You grab your phone from your desk to see two text notifications.

From Seb

That was a fun livestream schatz, you really know how to put on a show

From Daniel

You could’ve done your livestream at my house sweetheart, I would’ve enjoyed a live show

You leave both boys on read, and climb into your bed. You hope that tomorrow you’ll have a clearer mindset about what to do next.

[sunshineandspencer]

Cowboy hat rule, Part 2 (Tyler Owens, Twisters)

A/N: I wrote both this and the first one in one night, in the car on the way home from watching the movie. I was gripped, and there was nothing on AO3 so this was my only respite from getting nout from the general public. Enjoy, I was very tired when I wrote this.

Pairing: Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader.

Summary: In between butting heads with Javi’s team and running a successful YouTube channel based entirely around tornadoes, Tyler Owens is introduced to the most interesting woman he’s seen in a good while - and her sister.

Word Count: 680

Warnings: kind of suggestive (literally just flirting for two seconds), very limited knowledge of America (I’m English).

Parts: Part 1, Part 3, Part 4

I have redone the form for the taglist now that I’m apparently expanding from Criminal Minds

That run had gone a lot smoother, her sister able to get the sensor set up without going into a panic attack that Javi conveniently doesn’t notice. 

He better just be completely ignorant of how panic attacks look, or else he’s ignoring her sister. 

And she’ll have to kill him. 

But then they drive into town, and it’s horrible. Houses completely wrecked - there’s barely a main road anymore but they make do. 

Before they’d even parked, she pulled her belt out and shoved the door open. 

Hurrying over to help lift a beam off an older woman. Suddenly being much more aware of the cut on her arm - damn tornado throwing shit everywhere. 

It’s Scott’s fault. Javi had put them together and it’s clear the man doesn’t like her in the slightest. So even after they’d put the sensor out, he had her driving and was stressing her out the entire time about the tornado despite the fact they were driving away from it.

Once she was out, she joined the people helping any survivors. 

Nearly running into Dexter, who laughed happily at seeing her and threw a heavy arm over her shoulder. Tugging her along to the team. 

Lily and the others - whose names she definitely knows - were handing out free shirts. Along with water and food. 

With a small nod, acknowledging what’s happening, she takes off at a brisk jog back to the car. 

Making sure Scott isn’t looking as she pulled the door open and reached in. Nicking the first aid kit from underneath the passenger seat and pulling away with a grin. 

Then the door closes by itself with a slam and she jumps, whipping to face the man of the hour himself. 

Tyler Owens, leaning against the car as if he owned the world and he was merely allowing her a place to stand upon it. 

“Sorry ‘bout that Alpine, didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“No big deal.” She can still feel her heart stretching against her ribs, letting her know she was scared shitless. “Thought you were Scott, I have a feeling he’d throw a fit if someone took something from the car without him knowing.”

Lifting the first aid kit with a grin, she went to walk around him. But he just softly kissed his teeth, quickly looking around to make sure no one was watching. 

Taking a gentle hand to her bicep, he guided her back to the car. Leaning her onto the door and stepping a little more into her personal space. Bracing a hand above her on the car roof and leaning in, flooded with thoughts of her in his cowboy hat all over again.

It’s kept him pretty distracted all day.. and all last night.

“Thought we’d have a quick conversation, now that we’re here.”

“Oh~ and do you frequently flirt with people after a natural disaster, or is it just me?”

Patting his chest, she walked away again and he let her. Knowing wherever she was going with that first aid kit was much more important than his flirting. 

Only just more important, but he’ll let it slide this time. Besides, he needs to get back to looking for that puppy. 

Leaning on the hood of the car, he watched her walk away, something gnawing at him at seeing the stain of red on her arm. Not the one he’d grabbed; but she should’ve said something. 

Unfortunately, head and heart don’t usually have control over what comes out his mouth. 

“Only you Alpine! No one else is pretty enough to distract me from the storms!”

Lifting her hand up, she didn’t bother looking back, clicking the button to lock the car and set the alarm. 

His pressure on the hood immediately setting it off and freaking him out. 

Hearing her laugh he looked around again, extremely glad that no one else had seen anything. Smoothing his fingers through wet hair and going back to looking for that puppy. 

He’ll take her a beer later, get back on track with their flirting when he has the upper hand again.

Want more?! Good!

[aperrywilliams]

I Need You Now (Spencer Reid x Ex!Girlfriend!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Ex!Girlfriend!Reader.

Summary:  After the break up with his girlfriend, Spencer isn’t taking it in the best possible way. Memories flood his mind and the guilt of what he could have done differently. When everything is lost, there is no more to do than to go on, even if the only certainty in his heart is that he needs her now.

Word Count: 2.1k (a little thing)

Warnings: Angst. Spencer overthinks over and over again. The reasons for the breakout are not explicit, but you can infer them. Alcohol consumption. Open ending (hahahahahaha). I’m sorry (I’m not).

A/N: Full inspired by I Need You Now by Lady A. Please don’t sue me.

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Pictures perfect memories

Scattered all around the floor

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It’s late when I unlock my apartment door. As soon as I open it, it is the darkness that welcomes me and not you.

At other times, you would have jumped from the couch to greet me, throwing your arms around my neck and kissing me all over my face. And even if I always complained about you being up late for me, I silently loved it.

Sometimes, when I returned at dawn, I found you asleep on the couch with a book open on your chest. Those times, you looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn't like the idea of waking you up.

That isn’t happening tonight, though.

You’re not on the couch. You’re not home.

And the worst part is that you said you are not coming back.

---------------

Reaching for the phone cause

I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me, it happens all the time

---------------

Our love story started pretty close as a romantic movie would do. I bumped into you on my way out of a coffee shop. You were going to go inside but were distracted by your phone. You didn't see me coming out until you were stumbling, and before touching the ground, I secured you with my arms.

I was the one who apologized profusely, even if you were the one who didn't watch your way.

When I finally looked at you, words left me. And to hear your voice telling me not to worry didn't help my cause.

I would have asked for your number if I were bolder.

I didn't and let you go instead.

But luck must have been by my side when we crossed paths again.

The same coffee shop, two weeks later.

I got inside that morning and saw you at the counter waiting for your drink. I recognized you immediately.

Without a second thought, I walked up to you. Before I could say anything, you looked up and recognized me, too. A smile tugged your lips when you saw me.

“Hi,” I greeted you.

At that moment, I realized I had actually spoken to you. Why did I do that? What was I going to talk to you about?

“Hi. Glad you haven’t got a coffee yet,” you quipped. Making me stutter.

“Oh, no, no. I wasn’t thinking of spilling my coffee on you. I mean-” I stumbled over my words.

“Don’t freak out. I was joking,” you hastened to explain. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

“A joke. Yeah. Uh. I knew that,” I said, trying to sound casual.

Why was it so hard to sound casual?

“Yeah. I figured,” you chuckled. “Will you tell me your name this time?”

That day, my fate was sealed.

We exchanged phone numbers, and against the odds, I was the one who called first.

That was followed by text messages and some coffee dates.

We both were pleasantly surprised at how naturally the conversation flowed between us and how much fun we had together. Forgetting our first encounter where I couldn't stop stuttering, as the weeks went by, I relaxed enough to be myself.

I can recall the time I told you I loved you. I was a nervous wreck, and as the words left my mouth, I only wanted to take them back because I couldn't stand the idea of being rejected by you, of losing you.

You were the one who told me not to be afraid of telling the truth because you felt the same way. I can swear it was one of the best days of my life. A passionate kiss sealed our confession as we vowed to be each other forever.

Nothing of that remains now, though. And I know that the one to blame is no one but me.

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It's a quarter after one

I'm all alone, and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control

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Why did things go down between us? We were perfect for each other. People told me that often, and I believed it, too.

After dating for over a year, I asked you to move in. I was excited to begin a new phase in our relationship, although you were a bit reluctant. Not for lack of love or wanting. You said you were head over heels for me, but you have been cautious about your love life. The last time you had a serious relationship, things ended pretty badly for you. That time, you swore not to go through something like that again, so you were careful about protecting yourself.

I knew that, too. You told me what happened to you a few months after we started dating. I swore I would never hurt you. I loved you, and I would never do anything to harm you.

I’m now sitting on the same couch where we spend so many movie nights. The same where truths were told, dreams were discussed, and we planned a future.

With a drink in my hand, I glance at my phone over the coffee table and feel the urge to hear your voice. I want to grab the device and dial your number even if you told me not to call you again, even if I agreed not to contact you again.

But I miss you, even if every day I tell the world I'm doing better and I will get over it.

The truth is I don't know how to do it without you.

I need you now.

---------------

And I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

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Never did the silence overwhelm me as much as it does right now. It’s past midnight, and I can only think about what I should have done differently.

Maybe I should have opened up about what was happening before. You always knew I had a hard time expressing my feelings, but with you, that never was an issue. That’s why I can’t figure out why I did differently this time.

You told me I didn’t love you anymore, and that’s farther from the truth. I couldn’t stop loving you even if I tried.

Why did you say that, though?

Because I stop nurturing our love.

Because I took it for granted.

I made you doubt your worth and how important you are to me. I stopped listening. I stopped seeing. You gave me the signals, and I overlooked them.

Yeah, the job seemed more important at the time.

Of course, lives were on the line.

It's funny because none of that matters to me right now.

Missing you is something I never thought it could be a reality. How could I think about that when you were by my side to stay? Even the times I hurt you, you said you were to keep up no matter what. It was an unconditional love until it wasn’t. And I can’t blame you for leaving. It's all my doing, and I deserve to be alone. I deserve it, but I can’t stand it.

---------------

Another shot of whisky

Can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me, it happens all the time

---------------

There are times when you think of me. I do think of you every day. When I wake up alone in my bed or when I drink my first coffee in the morning, you are not teasing me by pouring all the sugar from the container.

I think of you when I check my phone, and there are no texts from you. When at night I don’t want to go to bed because you are not with me to let me love you.

I can still hear your footsteps on the hardwood floor of this apartment.

I can recall, like yesterday, the times we danced in this very living room. The time you build a fort with cushions and blankets just because I told you once I loved that as a kid.

The nights when you let us watch foreign films so I could translate you whispering in your ear. The same nights when the movie ended were long forgotten because we were making out just like the first time.

I don’t think I can stop recounting every single memory we shared: the good ones and the bad ones.

Because, of course, I, too, remember the fights, the arguments, the silent treatments. But above all, the talks and our agreement of never going to sleep mad at each other.

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It's a quarter after one

I'm a little drunk, and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call, but I lost all control

---------------

With the alcohol running in my blood now, I can’t stop thinking about if your affections belong to someone else now.

Of course, I can’t be mad or blame you for it.

But my heart aches when I think about it.

I know I lost you the moment I allowed you to walk out that door.

But the damn phone is still there, tempting me, pushing me to call you. Even if I don't know what I could tell you.

Or maybe I do: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I fucked up. I love you. I miss you. I need you.

Would you believe me this time?

It’s wishful thinking. A naive one?

I don’t think any word I could say right now can do some repair to the pain I caused you. But I could try.

I grab the phone with trembling hands and start typing the first three numbers: 8-6-7...

I can do this so that I will continue: 5-3-0... just one more digit.

But I know you’ll not answer. And if you do, it’s unfair to you for me to do this. I should respect your wishes. It’s the bare minimum I can do.

So I toss the phone again over the coffee table, and the tears run freely this time.

---------------

And I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Guess I rather hurt than feel nothing at all

---------------

If anything, I feel jealous of the person who will love you the way you deserve and will call you his.

In the same way I did a time ago.

Maybe I just need to get used to the idea. I lost you, and there is nothing I can do even if I still need you here.

I had the privilege of you letting me love you, and I’ll be grateful for having the chance.

Curling on the couch, I see the damn phone watching me again, defiance me. I’ll not give in this time. I owe you that much.

I was so immersed in my new determination that I could barely register the two knocks on my front door. It’s past one am, so I just assume it must be on a neighbor's door.

But then I hear another two knocks again. It is louder this time and impossible to ignore.

Grumbling, I stood from my spot.

I already know who it is. Derek Morgan has been adamant about pulling me out of my misery in the way he only knows: going out.

I could pretend to be deaf and pretend I didn't hear anything. But I know Derek; he won't settle, and he will use his spare key to get in anyway.

I open the door, ready to scold him for showing up at my door at this time. But words kept stuck in my throat when I confirmed Derek was not the one who was standing at my door.

“Hi. I’m sorry for showing up here without warning. I guess I didn’t think this thoroughly.”

My mouth opens and closes several times with nothing to say. At the lack of words, you continues talking.

“I thought I should call you first. But I wasn’t sure if you would pick it up. But if it’s a bad moment, it’s okay; I can go.”

Does telepathy really exist? I don't know, but I don't want to question it either.

“No, no. It’s okay. Would you like to come in?”

Your face shows something similar to relief. A bit of anxiety, maybe? I’m sure I’m not doing better.

What kind of test is this? I don’t know, but if it is the last chance I’ll get to do things right, God helps me to doesn’t fuck up.

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A/N2: Bonus point if you know where her phone number comes from.

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers

[dbnightingale24]

React

A Stepcest Love Story About Jim

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Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

I think my internet has finally stopped hating me, but I can't be too sure. We'll see what happens.

Word Count: 5,531

Warning(s): SMUT (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Stepcest, Infidelity, Step-Daughter/Step-Father relations, Family Drama, Forbidden Love, Lying, Sneaking Around, Emotional Cheating, Drinking, Self Loathing, FLUFF, Crying...I think that's it?

Summary: You and Jim have discovered that you don't want to stop, and don't even want to entertain the idea of it.

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I do not give permission/consent for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior/relationship, this is for entertainment purposes only.

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Chapter 4

You and Jim are horrible people, there’s no other way to put it. Jim woke you up the next day with his head between your legs, and you didn’t even attempt to stop him. Nor did you stop him when he told you get on top of him and get yourself off on him. The first two hours of the day were spent getting lost in one another and, for a moment, you forgot why it was wrong.

Then, you heard your Mother the second you opened the basement door.

“Well, why did ya sleep on the sofa, Jim?!” she snapped.

“My kids are still asleep, Y/M/N,” he huffed as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “You were a mess yesterday and-”

“I wasn’t that bad.”

“I had to carry you up the stairs in the middle of the movie.”

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I got nervous and they seemed to take more to-”

“That’s been your reason for every time your shit faced now, and it’s always Y/N’s fault.”

“I don’t say that it is-”

“Yes you do, and she’s only here because you asked her to come! Jesus, where’s the woman I met? The woman I fell in love with?!” he snipped and your heart broke.

You wished you’d never come back.

“And you? What do you think?” your Mother asked once she spotted you trying to creep out of the kitchen.

“Please, leave me out-”

“What do you think?” she snapped.

You let out a heavy sigh, because you knew how the rest of the day was going to go.

“I think I should’ve never come back,” you sighed as you leaned against the entry way. “I feel like you do better when we don’t see each other, and I’m not even mad about that. That’s how things have always been between us, and I don’t know why I expected it to change. Since I’ve been home, you’ve been drinking non-stop and an emotional wreck. You asked me to come back and I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t have done. I messed up your progress,” you finished softly as you toyed with your fingers, avoiding her hurt and irritated gaze.

As far as she was concerned, you and Jim were ganging up on her. Hell, if you hadn’t spent the previous night and that morning fucking her husband, you would’ve been able to feel like you weren’t ganging up on her. However, the guilt was eating you alive instantly, and it only got worse when she grabbed a bottle of whiskey off of the top of the fridge. 

It wasn’t even 10am and she’d snapped.

She was drunk off of her ass by 12pm, which meant that it was up to you to save the day for your...step-siblings. 

The day wasn’t even hard because you didn’t like them, it was hard because of what you’d done. With their Father. It didn’t help that they really had seemed to take a liking to you, and they wanted to do everything with you. Especially after your Mother passed out at 1:30pm.

“You alright, Angel?” Jim asked softly once he’d closed the door behind him to your bedroom.

The room that was right next to your Mother’s.

“It’s fine. They go back tomorrow and I’ll go to Ciara’s-”

“I want you here-”

“We already had this talk. Once was enough, Jim.”

“Angel-”

“It’s wrong! You’re married to her! Even if you get a divorce, she’s still my Mother! We can’t just...no, this can’t happen again.”

“I’ve been thinkin’ about ya all day, Angel,” he confessed softly as he made his way closer to your bed.

“You’ve been thinkin’ about fuckin’ me.”

“No, I’ve been thinkin’ about you,” he confirmed softly. “Your smile, the way you laugh, the sound of your laugh, how caring and sincere you are, how thoughtful-”

“Jim-”

“I’ve been thinking about you,” he promised as his right hand cupped the side of your face. “Have you been thinking about me?”

“Jim-”

“Have you?” he asked sincerely as he focused your gaze on him.

It slipped out before you even had a chance to stop yourself.

“Yes.”

You honestly hadn’t meant to get so caught up in the kiss, and you hadn’t meant to give him a blowjob. However, both of those things happened, which led to him fucking senseless in your bed.

Which is, once again, right next to your Mother’s bedroom. The bedroom that she shares with your Stepfather.

You couldn’t get out of that house fast enough the following day. However, when you got to Ciara’s, she wasn’t proving to be much help either. 

“I’m sorry, you two did what?! How many times?!” she squealed before she took a sip of wine.

“We only did that position once, but we had sex.. a few times,” you mumbled, very clearly ashamed of yourself. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“You’re in love,” she shrugged as if it was the most simple thing in the world.

“I’m in love with my Stepfather. He’s married to my Mother-”

“Your Mother is awful.”

“Be that as it may, she’s my Mother. She wanted to start a new chapter with Jim, and her new found sense of-”

“She did this, love. She created this fake version of herself, then let it all come crumbling down when you came home. She invited you back, then had a meltdown on the both of you. Is this right? Of course not. However, do I understand it? Of course. I know you feel terrible, and I would too, but lets not pretend you meant for any of this to happen. Hell, you didn’t even know she’d gotten married. Yes, it’s wrong, but you both did your best to fight this and seemed like the harder you two fought against it, the more she went out of her way to be problematic,” she sighed as your phone went off again. “What’s goin’ on there?”

“Jim and my Mother have been messaging me all day,” you muttered with an eye roll. “She wants me to come back because she feels awful and is tired of driving me away. He wants me to come back because he misses me and wants to fall asleep next to me. I’m staying far the fuck away from both of them.” 

“You’ll be goin’ back soon enough, and that should help,” she smiled mournfully.

Honestly? It should’ve. It should’ve been enough to keep you focused and your thoughts away from all of the other bullshit. It’s your final year, and you have so many things to figure out. You need to decide on a job, figuring out living arrangements, where you’re going to live, and a million other things. However, Jim was persistent. If he wasn’t calling and texting, he was sending you flowers with the cutest notes attached. 

By day four, you’d crumbled and told him to come to Ciara’s. 

He took you out to dinner at a cute little restaurant outside of town, and spent the entire time picking your brain. He wanted to know if you were excited or nervous about graduating (you told him that it’s an evil mixture of both), he wanted to know if there’s anything in particular you’re excited about getting back to (you told him about the cute dog adoption center that’s not too far from campus that you visit when you’re feeling too overwhelmed), and he wanted to know your favorite things (that had you rambling longer than you meant to).

Yes, the whole thing was sweet, but you rightfully had your reservations.

“Jim, how do you know this is real? No to be a total fucking cunt, but this will be your second failed marriage. What makes you so sure this will work?” you asked softly before you took a sip of your drink.

“This isn’t like what Yvonne and I did. I was in a good marriage and I fucked it up. I fucked it up for selfish reasons and looked for everyone to blame but myself. This...I honestly never knew this side to your Mum. If I had, I wouldn’t have married her in the first place. Yvonne and I...it started for all the wrong reasons. It started for selfish reasons on both of our parts, but this isn’t wrong or selfish, I promise.”

“Your wife made you unhappy-”

“Don’t. This isn’t something I started because I was havin’ a bad day. You just...you’re so beautiful, Angel. I don’t just mean on the outside. You step up when you shouldn’t have to, you’re thoughtful, you’re so damn funny, you’re witty, you’re patient, you’re painfully considerate...I could go on for hours. When everything started to fall apart, you stepped up and kept a level head. Between the two of us, you were the more mature and calm one. Hell, this whole thing started because I can’t control my feelings for you.”

“What about when I make you mad?” you asked timidly as you toyed with your fingers. 

“You’re not your Mum, Angel. We can talk things out and make it work. We can have an actual relationship that works.”

“Your kids-”

“They love you-”

“As their step-sister.”

“They’ll get used to it.”

“Jim-”

“Angel, I love you and I want this with you. I know I have a lot to prove, but I’m willing to try if you are. We’ll...test this out for a few months and you can decide-”

“A few months?! Jim, she’s my Mother-”

“I’m filing for a divorce, Angel. No matter what we do, I’m filing for a divorce. Things aren’t what they were and they never will be again,” he confessed with a scoff, but you could hear the pain in his voice.

He really thought he got it right with your Mother.

“We can’t...we have to take our time with this,” you told him softly as you tried to force yourself to come to terms with what you were saying.

What you were agreeing to.

“We can do whatever you want, Angel. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“We should wait until we have sex again.”

“If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do,” he promised with a nod as the waiter came over to ask if you both if you wanted anything else.

You folded like a lawn chair the second you and Jim were in front of Ciara’s house. You pulled him to the backseat of his car and had him until you were both spent. He ended up sleeping over Ciara’s that night, and he held you so close, as if he were afraid you’d run off in the night.

No, none of it had gone ideally. You and Jim spent every moment you could together, and he made it so easy to ignore the guilt. Every kiss, every touch, every date, every laugh...he made you forget how wrong all of it was. He made you forget that the both of you were committing the worst kind of betrayal.

Which is why you’re now pacing around your dorm room, waiting for his phone call. It doesn’t matter that you have an essay you need to start on, or that you have job applications to fill out, because you miss him and he makes you feel like a lovesick idiot. It also doesn’t help that he sent you a beautiful bouquet of pink peonies earlier in the day.

The second your phone goes off, you almost pounce to answer it.

“Baby?” you ask breathlessly, a smile coming to your lips.

A horrible way to answer the phone for the current situation you’re in, honestly. 

“It’s me, Angel,” he chuckles softly. “I miss you too.”

“In my defense I ‘aven’t been this excited to speak to someone...ever,” you giggle softly and he laughs. “How was your day?”

“A bit stressful, but it was good. I hate drivin’.”

“Why were you driving?”

“Had some things to take care of,” he sighs as someone knocks on your door. “Who’s that?”

“I’ve no clue. I didn’t make any plans with anyone,” you shrug as you make your way to the door and unlock it. “JIM!” you scream, throwing your phone to the side and jumping on him as your legs wrap around him, and he laughs softly. “Why are you here?! How?!” you giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Hi to you too, Angel,” he laughs, carrying you inside with a smile, before kicking the door shut behind him. “I missed you, and I wanted you to have a good few days before...”

“Before what?” you question with a cocked eyebrow.

“When I go back....I’m filing.”

“Jim...”

“I want this, Angel. I want us. I’m not gonna regret this and I hope you won’t either.”

“I just...Jim...”

“Do you still want this?”

“You know I do, but...you have to really commit. You’re leaving your wife for her daughter. Are you truly sure this is something you want? Are ya sure you want me?”

“Get dressed,” he smiles once he sets you down, “I’ve got somewhere to-”

He’s cut off by a knock on your door, “Y/N, are you in? It’s Mum,” your Mother proclaims from the other side of your door.

FUCK. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“What are ya doin’ here? Give us a moment, I just got out of the shower!” you panic as both you and Jim try to find a place to hide him.

“Well, Jim is gonna be gone for a few days to go and see a friend, so I figured I should come and see you. We didn’t end on the best of terms.”

“Mum, I really don’t have any issue with you or Jim. It’s just better for you if-”

“I know I haven’t always been the best Mother, but I want to change that. With time, you and Jim will grow to like each other and get along. I know I don’t always act like it, but I want all of this to work. I want us to be a proper family,” she confesses, remorse painfully clear in her voice.

By the look in his eyes, you can tell that Jim wants to say something, but he can’t without giving himself away.

“I don’t hate Jim,” you prattle on as you push him into your bathroom and motion for him to lay down in the bathtub. 

You’re quick to run to the sink and wet your hair, while trying to swallow down all of the anxiety and guilt.

“I don’t hate either of you,” you continue as you look yourself over in the mirror, “I just felt that it would be better if I finished holiday with Ciara. Let you two work on things.”

Lie, lie, lie.

“I just feel like me being around only makes things worse for you, and I don’t want that,” you explain, making your way back over to the shower. “Silence your phone,” you whisper before closing the shower curtain.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door to your room, “I really wish you would’ve called.”

“I figured it would be fine since you didn’t get back too long ago. You don’t have too much work, do ya? We could grab a quick bite,” she smiles hopefully.

You truthfully don’t know what to do, because it’s not like the trip from Dublin to London is an easy one, but Jim also made the same trek and is currently hiding in your bathroom. Seeing as he is about to file for a divorce just to be with you, maybe you should go to dinner with her.

However, Jim did get here first.

“What are you doin’ tomorrow?” you ask, hopeful that she won’t be too hurt.

It’s not as if you’re saying no all together, just not right now.

“Leaving,” she laughs awkwardly. “I figured I’d head back early tomorrow. I’m hoping Jim will come back early and we can talk things out. We got into a bit of an argument before he left, and I’m afraid I’ve really made a mess of things,” she admits shyly.

Fuck.

“Let me grab my things and we’ll go,” you smile solemnly.

Quickly grabbing your phone, you text Jim a quick ‘I’m sorry’, before grabbing your purse and key to your dorm.

“Is there any place in particular that you wanna go to?” you ask, locking the door to your bedroom.

“I figured we’d go somewhere you love. My treat,” she smiles and it only makes you feel worse. 

“We can go to Chez Jules, and don’t worry about me, I can pay for-”

“I’m surprisin’ ya, I should at least pay for dinner. Besides, I put you through a tough Summer-”

“It’s alright-”

“Just let me be a proper Mum for once. Please?”

You hate yourself. You hate yourself to your core. Yes, you and her have always had a turbulent relationship, but never in a million years did you see this scenario playing out as it is. Hell, you honestly didn’t think you two would be in each other’s lives at this point. You and Jim falling in love isn’t even a result of you being angry with her, it just happened. Hell, you fought it so hard because you do actually love your Mother.

Now, it’s just a big mess. You don’t want to hurt her, but you can’t pretend your feelings for Jim aren’t real. You honestly wish you never came home for the Summer.

“How does it feel to be back?” your Mother asks once you’re both seated.

“It’s weird,” you laugh awkwardly, “I can’t believe this is my final year.”

“I’m so proud. Ya did what I couldn’t.”

“You can always go back whenever you want. You know that.”

“It was never for me. I don’t think an of this was ever for me,” she laughs softly.

You don’t even catch yourself as you mumble, “don’t I know it,” slips out.

“ ‘m sorry, Y/N. I really am.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“You’re hurt and you’re angry. You have every right to be. This past Summer...I don’t know why I reacted like I did. I don’t know why I always react the way I do to you. I do love you, I just don’t know how to be a Mother. I never have and I never wanted to be one. I just...I really thought it was a role I could grow in to. I’d like to think I’m better now, but we both know that I’m not and it doesn’t even matter now. You’re an adult all on your own and your own person.”

“Can we not do this in public? I’m too sober for an argument-”

“I don’t want to argue, I want to be honest. I’m trying to...I want to apologize. Ya didn’t know about Jim and for me to react the way I did...I just felt like he was taken with you more than I would’ve liked,” she sighs as the waitress comes over.

“Y/N, I already know your order,” she laughs before turning her attention to your Mother, “for you?”

“Gin,” she smiles.

“Do you need a moment for food?”

“Um, I’ll have the pork loin steak.”

“Mum!”

“Jesus, I can afford it, as can you,” she laughs. “What do ya want?”

“I don’t-”

“She’ll take the braised shoulder of lamb,” your Mother nods, grabbing your menu and handing it back to the waitress.

“Mum, we can’t-”

“It’s a girl’s night!”

“I have class in the morning,” you lie with a giggle. “I can’t be out too late.”

“I won’t keep ya too long,” she smiles. “I just felt like this would be good for us. I was afraid if I called, ya’d say no.”

“I just...time apart has always been best for us.”

“That’s not how it should be. Jim loves ya, his kids love ya, and I just...I got jealous. You getting to the house before me...I should’ve waited, because I knew you would’ve been hurt. It was a big decision and I didn’t even take you into consideration. I was just so in love with Jim and I felt like...I figured I could finally do it, ya know? Be a proper wife and Mother. Be someone everyone could finally be proud of. I didn’t tell Jim much about my past, because it’s not anything to be proud of, but I did tell him about you. I told him that you’re the only thing I’ve done that’s right. I knew you two would get along, but I still had my reservations. The way I had been with him was a side of me you’d never seen, and I was afraid you’d resent me for being better with him and his kids than I ever was with you.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me about him?” you ask, swirling your drink in the glass.

“I don’t know. We were in our own little bubble, and it was nice. I didn’t want to ruin it, and I know you’ve never been a fan of the men I’ve been with, which I can’t blame ya for. I was just scared. It got so bad so fast, and I know it’s on me. I’ve never actually committed to this part of myself and failed before I even gave myself a chance. I let you down, again, and I’m sorry.”

You say nothing as a new wave of guilt washes over you as your dinner is delivered. How could you fuck up this badly? How could you let yourself end up in a situation that will end so horribly?

“I know it was all in my head though,” she continues after the waitress walks away. “Jim barely knows you and you don’t see him like that. You don’t know him well enough to look at him in that light. It was just my own insecurities getting in the way, and I’ll do better. I’ll be better for the both of ya.”

“What did you and Jim argue about before he left?” you ask, doing your best to fight back your tears as you cut up your lamb,

“He’s rightfully angry with me. The drinking, the way I acted around his children, the way I treated you...he said he doesn’t know how to be with me anymore. I was drunk, we both raised our voices, I threw some things...it’s not lookin’ good,” she chuckles humorlessly as she wipes away a few tears. 

“What do you think-”

“He wants to leave me,” she interrupts with a shrug. “He didn’t come right out and say it, but he said it in so many words.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t, but I can tell that he really is at his end. Even with sex-”

“Sex?” you eagerly cut off before you mean to.

You hate that you care so much. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not goin’ to give you too much information,” she laughs softly. “We barely ever have it, and I feel like I have to beg for it anyway. When we do, he never seems to be...in the moment. He always feels a million miles away, and it feels so empty. It was never like this before, and I know it’s on me. I made such a mess of everything this Summer.”

“Maybe you two just need some time apart,” you suggest, knowing damn well that, that won’t solve anything.

The man is waiting for you in your dorm room.

“He seemed pretty put off before he left. I tried to talk to him, but he just...he walked out. He doesn’t love me anymore, and I have no one to blame but myself.”

“Well, why do you do this shite? Huh? You finally had what you wanted-”

“I know, I know,” she sighs, throwing her fork down and drying her eyes with the backs of her hand. “It was goin’ too good. I got too nervous and I just...I let my fears win. I took it out on you, I took it out on him...I can’t fix it,” she sniffles, drying her eyes.

“I can talk to him for you,” you offer quietly.

You fucking idiot.

“My estranged daughter pleading my case for me? That’s even more pathetic,” she scoffs, before taking a sip of her drink then picking up her fork. “Anyway, tell me about school! Are you more excited to be back, or to be graduatin’ soon?”

For the rest of dinner, you try to keep up appearances, but your mind is going a million miles a minute. You know what you need to do, but you also know how much it’s going to hurt. You and Jim have spent so much time trying to build some form of a relationship, and you’re about to destroy it. 

To be fair, the relationship should’ve never happened in the first place.

“You’ll tell me when you’re home and safe?” you ask once you two are back at your dorm.

“Of course,” she smiles, wrapping you in a tight hug, “thank you for this. I really needed it.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll let you get back to your studies,” she laughs awkwardly as she lets go of you. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you smile with a nod before unlocking your door, “let me know when you’re at your hostel, yeah?”

“I promise.”

“Well...goodnight,” you nod once you’re in your room.”

“Night.”

You wait until you see her turn the corridor down the hall before finally closing the door, and letting out a heavy sigh. You know what comes next is gonna break both you and Jim’s heart.

“I know that sigh,” he comments as you close the door.

“Ya can’t leave her, Jim. Make it work.”

“Angel-”

“She’s so in love with you and she’s so sorry-”

“Stop it.”

“She’s my Mother! What do you want me to do-”

“Why do you keep trying to spare her feelings? She did this!”

“Jim, please-”

“I love you, Angel. I’m in love with you-”

“She’s your wife, Jim. She’s your wife and I’m her daughter. Your stepdaughter!”

“I didn’t even know you until I met you! This isn’t some relationship that we built up over years! I met you and we just-”

“Jim...please,” you sob.

He lets out a heavy as he wraps his arms around you, “please don’t cry.”

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be the reason you walk away-”

“She did this! She lied, she drank herself into a stupor, she lied-”

“You married her,” you sob softly, looking up to meet his heartbroken gaze. “I can’t hurt her like this, Jim. I can’t be the reason something else-”

“You’ve never taken anything from her!”

“Jim...”

“I love you! What’s the point of staying with her if my heart isn’t in it? What’s the point of faking it-”

“You two can find that happiness again-”

“I’ve found it with you, Angel,” he husks as he pins you against the wall.

“Jim...stop,” you moan as he kisses down your neck.

“No.”

“Jim-”

“Say it like you mean it. If you really want me to stop, I’ll stop,” he promises, unbuttoning your shorts and pushing them down along with your panties. 

“This...this is the last time,” you whimper as he starts teasing your clit.

“Sure it is, Angel,” he chuckles as he hoists you up and forces your legs around his waist. “Whatever you say.”

“Fuck...Jim!”

“I know, Angel. I need you too,” he groans as you undo his jeans, and force them down.

“I love you so much!”

“Do ya? Do ya want me?”

You know where he’s going with this, and you know it can’t go any farther.

“You know it’s wrong, Jim! We can’t keep on as we are!”

“Lets see how wrong we can be tonight, shall we?” he chuckles as he thrust himself inside of you, barely giving you a chance to breathe before he starts loving you hard and fast.

“Jim...don’t stop!’

“That’s a good girl.”

Yes, you’re going to end things with Jim and do your best to move on from this completely fucked up situation, but for now? For now you just want to live in this moment.

You just want to be with him. 

“I want to be with you,” he pants as he lays you on your bed, before resuming his pace and fucking you brutally hard. “I love you!”

“Oh my God!”

You don’t care if you two wake up the whole damn building.

“Tell me you don’t feel the same! Lie to me and tell me you don’t feel the same!”

“I fucking love...Jesus...Jim! Don’t stop!”

“That’s right, Angel. Take everything I’m givin’ ya,” he husks, pinning your hands above your head as starts biting and sucking on your neck.

“Oh fuck!”

“I’ve missed you so much, my Angel,” he grunts, the feel of his breath on your neck making you clench him tighter. “Fuck, just suckin’ me in!”

“Jim...aht...please!”

“Give it to me,” he groans as you ball your hands into fists.

You squirt hard as you lull your head back and arch your back,”fuck!”

“So good for me, Angel,” he groans as he pulls out.

Before you can whine in protest, he flips you as if you weigh nothing, and you’re instantly ready to go again.

“Hands and knees for me, Angel,” he demands gruffly, and you instantly comply, arching your back and curling your toes in anticipation. “You think we can just stop?” he asks rhetorically, gripping your hips tight before thrusting into you.

“Ah shit!”

“You’re mine, Angel. You’re mine, just like I’m yours,” he whispers seductively against the shell of your ear, thrusting harder and faster.

“Jim...I love you! Fuck, I love you so much! God...that’s it!” you cry out, strangling your pillows as he hits that spot he’s only ever been able to find. “Right fuckin’ there! Don’t stop!”

“Say it! Fuckin’ tell me what I need to hear!”

“ ‘m yours, Jim! All yours, always!”

“Fuck, not gonna...cum with me Angel! Please!” he husks pathetically, resting his head in the crook of your neck, kissing it softly as he coats your inner walls with his desire.

You have no choice but to obey, and you yell his name in the process, as mind numbing pleasure washes over you.

“So good for me, my Angel. So sweet,” he coos as he rides out both of your highs.

You’re quick to collapse onto your bed, trying to clear the euphoric clouds out 

of your head. You don’t know why you thought you’d be able to think clearly 

around him, especially when you’re already so emotional. You know what the 

right thing to do is, but it’s not what you want. It’s not what either of you want.

You hate this so much.

“We can figure this out,” Jim promises softly as he gets in bed next to 

you, instantly pulling you close.

“Jim...what we’re doing is wrong. What we’ve been doing is wrong-”

“I want to be with you.”

“You’re her husband and she’s my Mother. Jim, it should’ve never 

gotten this far. We’re horrible people.”

“Are you afraid of her hating you?”

“I can deal with her hating me. Shes always resented me a bit and 

that’s fine, I’ve always been able to handle it. What’s hard to handle is me 

being the reason she’s heartbroken. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“It wouldn’t be-”

“Jim you may have been the one who initiated everything, but it’s not 

like I ever tell you no and meant it. I want every part of ya just as much as you 

want every part of me.”

“I don’t wanna stop, Angel. I don’t want you with anyone else and I 

don’t wanna be with anyone else.”

“I love you and I’m so happy when we’re together. So fuckin’ happy, 

but this isn’t right. You leaving her for me...Jim, we can’t.”

“So, this is it?”

“We don’t have a choice.”

“We do, you just don’t like the other option.”

“Jim, for as angry as ya are, I know you don’t wanna hurt her.”

“I don’t, but you’re who I’ve always been lookin’ for. We were made for 

each other.”

“Jim...we have to let each other go.”

“After this week,” he sighs heavily, pressing a kiss to the back of your 

neck, “I’ll stay away.”

“Jim, I do love you, it’s just that...this is the right thing to do. Give it a 

few months, and everything will be back to how it was. It’ll hurt for a while, but 

it’ll be alright.”

“How it is now is how it always should be,” he mumbles into your hair 

before pressing a soft kiss into it. “Lets sleep, you have a lot of work to do in 

the morning.”

It’s not like this isn’t ripping your heart up. You want to be with Jim more than 

anything, but you can’t handle hurting your Mother like this. The ultimate 

betrayal. You have to get over this, because what’s the point? Your 

happiness shouldn’t have to make your Mother miserable. No, this is for the 

best. Yes, it’ll hurt and drive you insane for a while, but it won’t always be like 

this. It’ll get better.

Or so you hope.

~~

[viburnt]

First kiss || MHA headcanons

Characters: Iida Tenya, Shigaraki Tomura, Kaminari Denki, Mina Ashido

Trigger warning: Self-esteem issues on Shigaraki's part.

Iida Tenya

• Iida is just too much of a proper and decent guy to initiate a kiss, even if his lips are itching to have a taste of yours. He thinks, thinks, thinks, and thinks... but no matter how much his brain tries, Tenya simply can't figure the right way to approach something like that.

• He wishes his brother could give him advice, but since he is not there for him anymore, he guesses his friends could help him out. Izuku suggests to watch a romantic movie and copy what they do there (the dork), while Ochako tells him to simply invite you for a date and let things be. Shōto outright says Iida should ask for one.

• Iida takes you to a little movie date, carefully picking one that would give him the right mood to make a move. Your head rests on his shoulder while his arm is wrapped around you, and when the moment comes... soda. Iida accidentally spills his soda over your clothes.

• He feels so dumb and clumsy, apologizing over and over as the people around shush him quiet. You go to the bathroom to clean yourself and he follows suit. Iida is slowly entering into a manic episode, blaming himself as if it was the end of the world.

• When you come out, he just looks at you ashamed. You assure him there was no problem, that it was an accident but Iida doesn't listen and stammers his thoughts out (including how he just wanted to kiss you).

• You blink once, twice, and thrice, asking him to repeat his words as he covers his mouth. It is then that Iida reluctantly confesses he'd asked his friends for help, but that he had screwed his plan up.

• The smile on your lips calms down Iida, and you tell him he should've just asked (props to Shōto! He was right for once). Tenya's cheeks turn into a deep hue of red, splashing his ears and neck too; you step closer, hold his hand and tell him to go with the flow.

• His first kiss is brief, chaste and sweet; befitting of Iida. You're not surprised of the softness of his lips, and while you wanted to continue, the kiss comes to an end soon to avoid overwhelming him. The way his smile trembles after it is simply adorable, his hands doing robotic movements in nervousness; you take his hand and go back to the movie.

"I'm still sorry for spilling my drink over you. Please, let me send it to the cleaners." Iida offered, holding your hand as the two exited the cinema. "There's no need, really! I'l just wash it later." You declined, smiling at him with enamored eyes. "Then I'll make sure to buy you another shirt."

Giggling, you shook your head. "Iida Tenya, stop that. There's no harm done, plus, I think there are more things to care about than a soda stain," you winked. Iida looked at you a little puzzled, just to then realize what you were talking about. "Oh..."

"How about a second kiss?"

Shigaraki Tomura

• He is very self aware of his body and quirk, often thinking of himself lowly even when you reasure him there's nothing about him you wouldn't like. Tomura frequently shies away from your touch, limiting his interactions with you to verbal affection (the only moments where he allows you to be physically close is when there's a barrier like clothes, but even then he is very reluctant).

• Shigaraki fears that you could find him gross and allows his thoughts to cloud his mind, but you take it as a challenge to gradually wreck the walls he's built around him. He is your boyfriend after all, and you want to share all kind of things with him.

• Tomura's releasing his nerd rage over the microphone of his headset when you have the brilliant idea of kissing him for the first time. The man's sitting on the floor while you sit on the edge of his bed, your thighs around his head as the screen of the T.V turns black: Game over, retry? He groans, tossing the controller nearby as he turns off the console in frustration.

• You tell him you know what could make him feel better, patting his head with mischief; he looks at you and rolls his eyes, listening closely whatsoever. When the word kiss leaves your mouth, he sees himself out of the room; you don't take offense of it considering it wasn't the first time a reaction like that happened (bear with him, his heart just can't). Tomura returns a minute later with the most flustered face you've ever seen.

• He asks if you're for real, and you nod; he asks again, and you continue nodding. Before he tries to ask for a third time, you stop him and explain that you do want to kiss him. Tomura simply can't grasp the idea but he guesses he could try. You ask him to close his eyes and let you work.

• The kiss is tender, you can feel him tense and gradually relax as time passes. You caress his cheeks, play with his hair and when he least expects it, you finish. Shigaraki is speechless and refuses to even look at you for a couple moments, but he asks if you can do it again.

"You know you are a freak for even liking me, right?" He snarks, resting his head on your lap many kisses later. You just laugh, brushing the mess you made on his hair while making out, "Am I now?" Tomura looks away flustered and then returns his gaze to you. "No... But I still think you're weird for kissing me that much." Raising a brow, you clean some lipstick marks off him, "I'm not the one losing videogame matches to get kisses"

Kaminari Denki

• To say Kaminari is a bundle of energy would be an understatement. He is touchy, expressive, and often likes to hang out on your personal space; it's his form of showing how much he likes you, and that includes "joking" about kissing you (he is not joking in any way, he just panics and disguises his words as playful banter).

• Denki is just scared that he might not be a good kisser, which is why he stops himself from being serious about his words. He wants his first kiss with you to be special, something nice that you remember with joy not embarrassment. Sero just tells him that he should relax and let things flow, otherwise the chances of really ridiculing himself get higher.

• It is during a date to the game arcade that Kaminari decides to finally let things happen. He is hitting all the high scores in the machines to earn a decent prize for you at the shop (which considering how exorbitant the amount of tickets are needed for a simple candy, it's an achievement), winning some time to mentally prepare for what's bound to happen.

• You are having a blast, laughing and having fun to your heart's content when Kaminari suggests taking pictures in a nearby photo booth (he just wanted to be in private with you). He pulls you close to him, looking at the camera lens and throwing silly faces and poses; Denki looks at you while your attention is on the screen and places his hand on your cheek. The photos forgotten as you look at each other, heart's beating in unison.

• The kiss is clumsy, his lips practically crashing against yours as he basks on the softness of yours; you can feel a slight zap on your lips too. The moment reminds you of how sometimes puppies make a mess when they are offered food, scattering it everywhere in a desperate attempt to take everything they can. You don't mind at all.

• It's effervescent, natural, genuine, all the words that describe Kaminari to perfection. You giggle a bit, making Kaminari worry, but after you assure him everything is more than fine, he continues. The moment is so real to you two that even Denki starts smiling and chuckling against your lips.

• Yes, it may not be the perfect kiss to others, but it is to you and him (and the people outside the booth that had to awkwardly wait while you two finished). Oh, and you have it on pictures too!

"Ah, look at this one! We look so dumb, haha," you laugh, sharing the photo strip with Denki. He snorts and cackles at the picture, placing it in his wallet. "We should really make an album of all our kisses", he suggests, watching you nod in agreement. "Sounds like a great idea, not gonna lie. Just don't keep me waiting for the next kiss, I was starting to worry there was something wrong with me!" You chirp, teasing the blond; his cheeks just flush in response, "Sorry, I just didn't want to screw up".

Tag list: @doumadono @trickster-kat @dabislittlemouse @angelshimaa @shonen-brainrot @imaginationmess @shionancientsblog

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Corpse Bride

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Dead!Reader

Word Count: ~6.6k

Warnings: marrying the dead, if you've seen the movie, then you know what to expect. if you haven't seen the movie, then go watch it. it's amazing

Summary: Your hopes and dreams were taken from you in the blink of an eye. You're destined to spend eternity in the viel, waiting for your Prince Charming to show up. When he does, he claims it was a mistake. How can you convince him to stay? Will you get your second chance at love?

Square Filled: character death (2022) for @cmbingo

Author’s Note: this is one of my favorite movies, so I decided to write a story based on it.

x

Spencer paces the forest floor nervously with the engagement ring in his hand. He’s been a nervous wreck ever since he asked his short-term girlfriend to marry him. He’s not ready for marriage whatsoever but his parents and her parents think this marriage is a good thing and will benefit both families. His family is well off while hers is a bit poor. Her family owns a business Spencer’s parents want a part of, so if he scratches her back, she scratches his.

No matter what he does, he can’t seem to get it right. The vows are pretty easy to remember but he can’t seem to get the words out. He likes Maeve a lot and there is potential for love later on down the road but his parents want this to happen now. He left the rehearsal wedding to be on his own to gather his thoughts and feelings about this whole thing.

“I can’t do this. I’m not ready to be a husband. What were my parents thinking?” he thinks out loud. “I like Maeve. I like how she makes me feel but is she ready to be a wife? Does she even want this?”

Spencer paces back and forth with the ring in his hand.

“Come on, Spencer! What am I saying? I can’t do this to Maeve. She deserves everything good coming her way. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I were to walk out on her now? I can do this. Just take it one step at a time.”

Spencer straightens and fixes his tie to make himself look more presentable even though there is no one around but him. He raises his right hand confidently and begins his vows.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrow.” He grabs a branch nearby and pretends it’s Maeve’s delicate one. “Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.” He breaks off the branch and pretends it’s the cup of wine he’ll have to lift and drink from at the actual wedding. He walks over to a small stump and pretends it’s a candle that he will have to light. “With this candle, I will light your way in darkness.” He drops the branch and looks over at a set of vines that looks like a human hand. He grabs it gently and takes out the ring so he can slide it on one of the small sticks protruding from the base. “With this ring, I ask you to be mine.”

He slides the ring onto one of the sticks and pulls away with a satisfied smile. This is it, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for. You’ve laid to rest in this forest for almost half a decade just waiting for your Prince Charming to finally come save you. The one you were with did you dirty but you were okay with waiting for the right one to come by, and he’s finally here. The ring he slid on your finger is shiny and delicate just like your feelings.

Spencer looks around the empty forest and decides it’s best if he goes back to his family and does the wedding rehearsal right. Just as he is about to grab the ring, the branch crackles to life. He jumps back in shock as the ground shakes with vigor. The ground cracks and opens to give you enough room to crawl out of your shallow grave.

Spencer yells in shock when he sees a deadly hand shoot up from the ground. It’s like a scene from The Living Dead coming to life. You claw your way out of your grave and stand to your full height, and you grin at the ring on your skeleton finger. Your entire left arm is just your bones as the flesh had been eaten off previously. Your right arm is covered with sickly grey flesh that hasn’t yet been devoured. Most of your body still contains your flesh with holes showing your bones. You’re wearing a dirty white wedding dress that was your mother’s. It goes all the way down to your feet but has a slit in the front of it that goes up to your mid-thigh. It shows off both your legs when you walk--one flesh and one completely bare to the bone.

If Spencer didn’t know any better, he might have thought you were someone from a movie with a bunch of makeup on you. However, he just saw you claw your way back to the surface of Earth like it was nothing.

“My, oh my! What a beautiful ring!” you sing and dance happily around your new husband. Hearing you speak breaks Spencer out of a trance. He quickly gets up and starts running away from you, scared for his life. “Wait! Where are you going?”

Spencer is fast when he thinks his life is in danger, but you know these woods like the back of your hand. You used to sneak out here with your fiance to get away from your lives. That’s back when you thought you were going to be happy for the rest of your life. There are plentiful shortcuts to get to the entrance into the forest, so you take those to catch up to Spencer.

He pants heavily and decides to take a break right on the bridge that separates the town from the forest. He looks behind him but you’re not there. He thinks he’s safe so he turns to walk back into town but stops when you’re right in front of him. He yells and jumps back but you’re not letting him go this time.

“I do. You may not kiss the bride,” you smile.

You grab him and lean in to kiss him but he faints in your arms. You’ve never seen a person faint before. There is someone who can help so you use your deadly powers to summon yourself back into the underworld with Spencer in hand.

“Y/N! New arrival?” your best friend Marcy asks.

“No, it’s my husband.”

“Husband? That dick returned?”

“No, silly. His name is Spencer. He said his vows perfectly and gave me this ring.” You show off the delicate diamond that shines brightly against your white bones. “Isn’t it pretty?”

“What happened to him?”

“He fainted as soon as I kissed him. I’m trying to get him to Dr. Hubert. He’ll be able to help him.”

“Let me help you.”

You two take Spencer over to the doctor’s office even though none of the dead need to be seen by the doctor. He’s often stated it keeps him tied to his humanity. The doctor’s office is located right next to the bar everyone hangs out in so you’re not surprised to see the doctor taking shot after shot.

“Dr. Hubert!”

“Y/N, darling! We’ve missed you. How was the surface?”

“Riveting. I got married,” you grin and show off your ring.

“Splendid! Where is he?”

“Right here,” you say and show him Spencer who is still out cold. “He fainted when I kissed him. Is there something you can do to help him?”

“Oh, my. He’s living!”

Everyone stops their chatter to look over at Spencer. As soon as they hear a living is among them, they all get curious. No living people visit you so it’s amazing when someone does.

“Yes. Can you wake him up?”

“Let me at him!” The small bartender scatters across the bar table using his tiny bug legs. He was decapitated many centuries ago, so the only thing keeping him moving is the bugs that live inside his head. “I can tickle him awake.”

“I don’t think so, Pierre. Let Dr. Hubert handle this one.”

“Yes, I see the problem. Charger, your finest bottle, please.” The other bartender gets the best bottle of alcohol and hands it over to the doctor. He downs a shot before hovering the top of it underneath Spencer’s nose. Spencer gets one whiff of the stuff and shoots awake, like smelling salts. “Works like a charm.”

“Hey, whoa, you’re okay, darling,” you grin and calm him down.

He sees all kinds of dead people in all different stages of decomposition which freaks him out. He scrambles to get up and backs into someone who has a gaping hole in her throat.

“Are you sure he’s the one you married? He looks so scared,” Marcy asks you.

“Yes. He said his vows perfectly. Spencer, please calm down. Let me explain.”

Spencer doesn’t give you a chance because he’s already trying to get away from you. He pushes past many skeletons without knowing where he’s going. All he knows is he needs to get the hell out of here. You sigh and look at everyone who is staring at you.

“I’m sorry. He’s new at all of this. Let me go talk to him.”  You follow in his footsteps but calmly. “Spencer! Come back, darling!” Spencer weaves in and out of the crowd, taking left and right turns haphazardly without knowing where it’s going to take him. “Spencer, darling, where are you?” You turn to see his legs disappear around the corner and when you go investigate, you see a set of stairs leading up to the cliffs above. Spencer is sitting on the bench trying to catch his breath. “There you are, silly.” He jumps at your voice and is about to run again but you hold your hands up. “Please don’t run. Let me explain everything.”

“Fine,” he sighs, mostly because he doesn't want to keep running.

You walk to the railing along the cliff’s edge and look at the city below.

“Isn’t this view amazing? It takes my breath away. You know, if I had any,” you chuckle. You walk over to Spencer and join him on the bench, and you smooth down your dress. “I’ll answer any questions you have.”

“What is going on? Who are you? Where am I? Who are all those people down there? Is this a joke? Is this real life?”

“Calm down, love,” you giggle. “One question at a time.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re in the Underworld. It’s the place where everyone goes when they die. There is no Heaven or Hell. It’s all one place where we all reside.”

“So, you’re dead?”

“Yes.”

“How did you die?” Spencer’s eyes widen when he realizes how inappropriate that question is. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“Spencer, you’re my husband. You can ask me anything you want. I was once in love with someone else. He was much older than I was and he told me everything I wanted to hear. He treated me like I was a princess and roped me in. When I told my parents about him, my father wasn’t thrilled I was with someone like him. He told me to stop seeing him but I wouldn't listen. This man and I decided to elope and run away. The only thing he told me to bring was cash and all the gold I could grab. I thought he wanted that to start our future with.”

Telling this story to someone in such an intimate setting brings you to tears but you refuse to let them fall.

“My mother’s wedding dress fit me like a glove. I waited at the base of the tree where you found me but he didn’t show up. I waited for what felt like hours. I was about to leave when he finally showed up. The last thing I saw was him charging at me. The first thing I saw when I woke up was my wedding dress was torn, my cash and gold were missing, and my skin was cold as ice. I was dead. I laid at the base of that tree for years, waiting for my Prince Charming to save me. Then you came along, and everything fell into place.”

“I‘m sorry,” Spencer sighs. “No one deserves that.”

“It’s in the past. You’re here now. Everything is better.”

“What about all those people down there? Are they all dead?”

“Everyone here is dead except for you. I had to bring you here. You fainted when I kissed you.”

“Can you blame me? The dead don’t rise where I’m from.”

“Fair enough,” you chuckle. “There’s good people down here. They’re super nice. If you allow it, I’d love to introduce you to some of them. Will that be okay?”

Spencer has had some time to wrap his head around this. He’s not panicking anymore, and his breathing is under control. He feels like he can address this with a calm head. He looks over your entire body and sees the ring on your skeleton hand. How the hell did he get himself in this situation?

“Yeah, that’ll be okay,” he nods.

You get up and grab Spencer’s hand that he doesn’t immediately shake off. You take him back down to the bar where everyone is having a good time. Marcy is doing shots with Dr. Hubert, and she waves you over when she sees you.

“That’s my best friend, Marcy. Next to her is Dr. Hubert. None of us need medical help, but he still likes to be called a doctor. It makes him in touch with his humanity.”

“Am I allowed to ask how they died?”

“Marcy’s story is even sadder than mine if you can believe it. I’ll let her tell you if she wants. Dr. Hubert drank himself to death. He wasn’t a bad doctor and was always sober when he was treating patients. He just had too much to drink one night and died.”

Pierre scatters across the bar counter with a tray on his head, passing out shots to people.

“Is that just a head?”

“Yeah, he was decapitated. We can’t find his body, but he’s happy like that. Come on, let me introduce you.” You take him over to the group and tap on Marcy’s shoulders. “Marcy, this is Spencer. He’s calmed down a bit.”

“Spencer! It’s so nice to meet you. You better make my girl happy.”

“Yeah,” Spencer chuckles, not knowing how to respond to that.

“Ah, he’s awake. Would you like a drink?” Pierre offers a shot.

“No, he doesn’t,” you quickly say and lean into Spencer. “You don’t want to drink this stuff.”

Spencer looks around the bar to see skeletons drinking. The liquid passes through them since they are all bones but they still enjoy it. There are others who are cut in half, so he can see the liquid slide down their bodies. Some are completely covered with flesh that looks like humans if not for the sickly grey skin. All these dead people but none of them look scary. In fact, everyone is having a good time just being in each other’s company.

If he’s being honest, this looks like a better time than most humans have up top.

“Come on, let’s sit.”

You take him over to a quiet spot in the corner where you can hear him if he talks. Spencer takes a seat and looks at the band on the stage. They’re all skeletons but they’re using their bodies as part of the instruments. One of them is using their legs as the base for a guitar, one is using a couple of heads as drums, and a bone trumpet. This is so weird but it seems to be working for them. Spencer has always thought there is some sort of life after you die, and this just so happens to be it.

“So, Spencer, tell me about you.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Why were you in that forest in the first place?”

Spencer thinks about the vows he’d been saying and his mind suddenly goes to Maeve who must be worrying crazy about him. He can’t possibly tell you about Maeve. He’s not sure how you’re going to react to that. He thinks of his parents and tries to think of a way to get out of this place.

“I needed some space to think, I guess.”

“By saying wedding vows?”

“My parents wanted me to marry young. I wanted to practice before I needed to use those vows.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you said them perfectly,” you smile.

“Thanks.”

“What are your parents like?”

“Overbearing at times. They come from money so they often forget what it’s like to live in a world where people don’t have money. Be thankful you don’t have to meet them.” A lightbulb goes off in Spencer’s head. This is how he’s going to get out of here. “You know what, you should meet them. After all, you are my wife.”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea! Where are they buried?”

“Oh, um, they’re not… dead.”

“Oh, they’re still living? My, that does pose a challenge. One that isn’t impossible. I have an idea. Come with me.”

You take him to the one person who knows how to get to the land of the living. He’s been here the longest, one of the firsts. He’s known to many as the Caregiver because he takes care of anyone who seeks him out. His house is located on the other side of town in an old library. His love for books is unmatched by anyone who is here. People from all over come to see the kinds of books he has.

“Wow, I’ve never seen a library quite like this one before.”

The library is run down and has pieces of the building missing but Elder Henry finds it endearing.

“Elder Henry loves this place. Won’t part with it,” you whisper as you walk in. “Elder Henry? Are you around?”

“Whose there?” Elder Henry hobbles out from behind a stack of books and adjusts his glasses to see better. “Ah, Y/N. What a surprise. It’s so good to see you, my dear.”

“Likewise. I’d like you to meet my husband, Spencer.”

“What’s that? Husband?”

“It’s nice to meet you, sir,” Spencer nods politely.

“What brings you two here?”

“We’d like to go to the surface. I know you have a spell for that.”

“Ah, the surface. I’ve never seen the appeal of the living even when I was among them.”

“Is it possible? Can you do it?” Spencer asks eagerly.

“Yes, I can. There are rules, you know. Rules you must follow or else you’ll be sent back here.”

“Which are?”

Elder Henry walks around his area and gathers the things needed for the spell. He never inserts himself in other people’s business so if you want to go to the surface, then he’ll help you get there. He doesn’t need to know why, he doesn’t need to know your intentions, and he doesn’t want to know.

“For one, if you wish to come back, you must say the secret word. Hopscotch.”

“That’s fun to say,” you grin. “Hopscotch!”

“Yes, but you must abide by their rules. After all, you’re a guest in their world. Whatever they say goes, so you must be careful who you talk to.”

“Don’t worry, we’re just going to meet his parents. I’m sure they’ll love me.”

“Are you both sure you want to do this?”

“Yes,” Spencer says a bit too quickly. He clears his throat and says it more calmly this time. “I mean, yes. We do.”

“Alright then.” He takes out the ingredients and mixes them together to create a golden cloud. “Remember, to come back, you must say Hopscotch.”

Elder Henry dumps the cloud onto you and Spencer, and you’re immediately transported to the forest where he married you in the beginning. The moonlight is especially bright this time of night, and you enjoy the smell of fresh air. It’s been so long since you’ve been up here and the thought brings you to tears. You hum happily and start to elegantly dance in circles around Spencer.

“I’ve spent all my time in the darkness, I’ve forgotten how beautiful the moonlight is,” you grin.

He can’t believe he’s going to betray you. He’s wanted nothing more than to get out of that hellhole since arriving. He’s gotten to know you a bit better but not enough to want to love you. There is potential in you, for sure, and you’re such a sweet woman who wants nothing but love. You’re kind, intelligent, free, and you don’t let the bad things that have happened to you stop you from living your life.

How can he walk away knowing he’s not going to his parents?

“Okay, I’m going to go get them. You heard Elder Henry. It’s best if you minimize your contact with the living as much as possible. Just stay here and I’ll go get them.”

“Okay,” you nod and sit down on a tree stump.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t worry, I’ll bring them.”

“I believe you,” you smile. “I’ll wait right here.”

Spencer walks away from you and when he’s far enough away, he looks back at you. You’re dancing and swaying in the moonlight, your dress flowing all around you. His heart is heavy with guilt but he turns back around and continues walking. Only until you’re out of sight does he sprint all the back into town.

He runs by a wall of fliers and stops short when he sees his face on one of them. It’s a missing poster sign with a reward of ten grand on it.

MISSING: SPENCER WALTER REID. IF SEEN, PLEASE CONTACT DIANA AND WILL REID. MISSING SINCE SEPTEMBER 29TH.

That’s more than a week ago. What the hell? Time must pass differently than it does in the Underworld. He passes by his parent’s house and heads straight to Maeve’s parent’s place. He doesn’t want to alert her parents of his arrival so he goes to the back of the house where her bedroom is. Her bedroom has a balcony where she can relax that has glass double doors that lead into the room.

He jumps over the fence and knocks on the window lightly. Meave is sitting on the couch by the fireplace knitting. She jumps at the sudden noise at her back door and turns to see who it is. Her eyes widen when she sees it’s Spencer.

“Spencer!” she gasps and sets her knitting down to approach him. She unlocks the back door and opens it to let him in. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you alright?”

“I can’t really explain,” Spencer stutters.

Maeve reaches out and touches his hand and pulls away with a gasp.

“You’re as cold as death. What happened to you?”

“Listen, I was very apprehensive last week about getting married to you. We just got into a relationship and I thought I wasn’t ready. I freaked out and left. I guess I needed time to wrap my head around sharing my life with someone. Then something clicked in my head. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband. I want this wedding to happen. I really really like you.”

“Oh, Spencer,” she smiles and caresses his cheek. “I really like you too. Maybe even love.” She leans in to kiss him but Spencer notices something moving outside on Maeve’s balcony. When he sees the white wedding dress, he gasps and staggers back. “Spencer? What’s wrong?”

Before Spencer can say anything, you open the door and allow a huge gust of wind to enter the room. Your veil flows over your head, and you cough as you move it out of your face. You look at Spencer and notice a young woman standing next to him.

“Darling, I just wanted to meet--Spencer, who is this?” you ask and slink up to his side.

“Who is she?” Maeve asks.

“I’m his wife,” you say and show off the ring he gave you. 

She gasps when she recognizes it as the one he was supposed to give her.

“Spencer?”

“No, Maeve. I’m not married to her. She’s dead.”

He grabs your skeleton arm to show her and your heart breaks at the thought of him going to another woman’s home after marrying you. You yank your arm from him and step away with a deadly look on your face.

“Hopscotch,” you growl.

Just as quickly as you came to the land of the living, you returned just the same. You appear in Elder Henry’s library where you departed from. You push Spencer away from you with hot tears running down your face.

“I can’t believe you! You lied to me! You didn’t want to visit your parents. You wanted to go to that other woman!”

“Don’t you understand? You’re the other woman.”

“No! You married me!” you cry and turn away from him.

“She’s got a point,” Elder Henry shrugs.

“I thought things were going really well,” you sniffle.

“Look, I’m sorry but this can’t work.”

“Why not?” you ask and turn to face him. “It’s my bones, isn’t it? You don’t want to see them.”

“No, it’s not that,” he sighs and runs his hands down his face. “Look, you’re an amazing woman. You’re kind and sweet and I hate what that man did to you. Under different circumstances, I’d honestly want to be with you, but we’re too different. You’re dead.”

“You should have thought of that before you asked me to marry you.”

“Why can’t you see that it was a mistake? I would never marry you.”

Silence falls in the library. If your heart could break, then they would hear it. You’ll never be someone’s bride. Always the bridesmaid. How could you expect someone as good-looking and amazing as Spencer would want you? He realizes what he said but he can’t take it back. Your shoulder sag and you sigh sadly. You turn away and walk away to be alone. Spencer opens his mouth to say something but nothing comes out.

He lets you walk away.

You don’t know where you’re going just that you’re walking wherever your legs carry you. You find yourself at the park with a nice gazebo that is romantic most of the time. You take a seat under the middle of it and look at your wedding ring. He never wanted to marry you. This was a mistake. Who would want to marry you? Maybe you’re just damaged goods and too broken for anyone to love.

“Hey, are you okay? Where’s Spencer?” You look up to see Marcy walking over to you. It takes everything in you not to break down crying but you tell her the entire story. “I’m gonna beat his ass.”

“No, don’t. Maybe he’s right. Maybe we are too different. You should have seen her Marcy. She’s beautiful. Maybe he does belong with her. Little Miss Living,” you say in a sad, sarcastic tone. “With her rosy cheeks and beating heart.”

“Those girls got nothing on you. You’re so much better than them. Looks don’t matter. You’re such a kind and beautiful soul.” Her pep talk doesn’t seem to be working so she tries something else. “What does she have that you don’t? I don’t need to know what she looks like to know she doesn’t hold a candle to your beautiful smile.”

“How about a pulse?” you sigh.

“That’s overrated. Plus, she’s not wearing his ring. You are. She doesn’t compare to you.”

“She still breathes air.”

“Who cares? That shouldn’t matter when he knows the kind of person you are… how special you are.”

“I don’t want to be dead,” you whisper fearfully. “I never wanted to be dead. I wish I could be alive again. To feel the sun on my skin. To feel pain. Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone down here, but I can’t feel pain. Physical, that is. The pain I feel now… my heart hurts but it doesn’t beat, it’s breaking.”

Marcy puts a hand on your back and rubs it soothingly. She knows how long you’ve waited to find your Prince. You were a young girl in love just looking for someone to love you back. Is that too much to ask?

“What you just told me, it seems like the only redeeming feature about her is that she’s alive. You know that’s just temporary. Down here is forever. Down here is more than a lifetime.”

“I guess,” you sigh sadly.

“Y/N?” You and Marcy look up to see Spencer standing at the edge of the gazebo nervously. “Can I talk to you?”

“You’re about five seconds away from getting an ass-kicking,” Marcy growls and stands up.

“Marcy, it’s okay,” you calm her down. “I can handle this.”

“Just call if you need me.”

She walks off and Spencer takes her seat next to you.

“Listen, I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

“I get it, Spencer. She has what I don’t. A beating heart.”

“That doesn’t… Look, it’s no secret you’re amazing. Even dead, you’re very beautiful. I don’t know how that other guy let you go so easily. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. Just know that whatever our differences are, it’s not because you’re dead.”

“Do you mean that?” you ask and look up at him.

“Yes, I do.”

Spencer tucks your hair behind your ear delicately. This is the first romantic moment you two have had in weeks but it’s everything you could have wanted and more. Spencer notices someone walking in the distance and recognizes it as someone he knows.

“Excuse me.”

He gets up and leaves you alone on the gazebo bench. You’re not sure who this person is or what he is talking about, but Spencer leaves abruptly with an upset look on his face. 

“Spencer?” you ask but he doesn’t look at you.

You get up to follow him but decide against it. He might need some time to himself, so you go searching for someone who might be able to help you. Marcy is in the bar where you first woke Spencer up, and she is playing a game of darts. When she sees you, she drops the darts and heads over to you.

“Is everything alright?”

“I don’t know.” You pull her off to the side so you can talk to her privately, an alley between the bar and the doctor’s office. “He apologized for what he said. We were having a moment but he saw someone he knew and went to talk to him. He walked off without another word. Are all men like this?”

“Sweetheart, be thankful you never had to deal with those kind of men. None of them are very bright.”

“Y/N, we need to talk.” You look to the right to see Elder Henry walking over with a book in his hand. “I’m afraid it can’t wait.”

“What’s going on?”

“There is a complication with your marriage. The vows are binding only until death do you part.”

“What are you saying?” you gasp fearfully.

“Death has already parted you.”

“No! If he finds out he’s gonna leave. There must be something you can do.”

Elder Henry puts the book on a trash can lid and flips a few pages.

“There is one way. It requires the greatest sacrifice. Spencer would have to give up the life he had forever. He would need to repeat his vows in the land of the living and drink from the wine of ages.”

“Poison!” you gasp.

“This would stop his heart forever. Only then would he be free to give it to you.”

Spencer is around the corner listening to the entire conversation. His eyes are wide in fear of what you’re going to say. He looks around the corner and sees you fall to your knees in sorrow.

“I could never ask him. What kind of person would I be if I took that away from him?”

Spencer really likes Maeve and could see a future with her, but he’s also torn with choosing you. All you wanted was for someone to love you unconditionally, and you will have that if he chooses you. He’s been spending all his time with you.

“You don’t have to,” Spencer says, making himself known. “I’ll do it.”

“My boy, if you choose this path, you may never return to the world above. Do you understand?”

Spencer holds his hand out for you and pulls you to your feet.

“I do.”

Looks like a wedding is happening. Everyone in the Underworld is excited that their own Corpse Bride is getting the moment she finally deserves. Spencer is kind of excited to be living down here after seeing so many people bond over being dead. Elder Henry works hard to create a spell that will transfer everyone down below to the world above. This will be the wedding of the century for both the living and the dead.

Because you’re going to the world above, you have to abide by their rules. The living weren't thrilled to have the dead roam the streets. In fact, they were mostly horrified to see skeletons walk down the street. Still, you and the others make your way down to the church for the ceremony. The pastor wasn’t too happy to have the dead knocking at his door, but you won’t allow him to spoil this evening.

Everyone settles into the pew as you and Spencer sand at the altar. Elder Henry walks behind the table and lays the book down with the bottle of poison. There is an empty cup next to Spencer while you have the whole bottle. Spencer has to admit that seeing your happy smile is bringing him joy.

This is it. This is what you’ve been waiting for since you were murdered.

“Dearly beloved and departed,” Elder Henry begins, “we are gathered here today to join this man and this corpse in marriage. Living first.”

Spencer turns to you and raises his right hand.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.” He grabs the empty cup and raises it. “Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine.”

“Now you,” Elder Henry says to you.

“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows.” You grab the bottle of poison to pour into his cup. “Your cup will never empty.” You pour the poison into his cup. “For I will be--” As you’re pouring, you notice someone standing next to a pillar behind Spencer. You do a double-take to confirm it’s Maeve. She’s dressed in a wedding dress. She must have gotten married to someone else and didn’t want that, so she came here in hopes of seeing Spencer. “I will be…”

“Go on, my dear,” Elder Henry says.

You take a deep breath.

“Your cup will never empty… for I will be…”

“I will be your wine,” Spencer finishes for you.

He raises the cup of poison to his lips to drink, but you can’t let him do this. You quickly put your hand over the top so he doesn’t drink a drop.

“She’s having second thoughts,” someone whispers in the crowd.

“I can’t,” you say and look at Maeve again.

“What’s wrong?”

He goes to look at what you’re looking at but you put a hand on his cheek to stop him. Your heart hurts again but not for you. It’s for them. You had your chance. Now you’re taking someone else’s chance.

“This is wrong. I was a bride. My dreams were taken from me. Now I’ve stolen them from someone else.” Two tears roll down your cheeks. “I love you, Spencer, but you are not mine.”

You hold your hand out to Maeve who walks into the light. Spencer turns and gasps when he sees her. Everyone in the crowd gasps as she joins you on the altar. You grab her hand and place it in Spencer’s before letting go of him.

“Oh, how touching,” someone says from the church doors. Everyone turns their head to see who it is, and when you catch a glimpse, your face goes ghostly white. You take a step back in shock and put a hand on the table to prevent yourself from falling. “I always cry at weddings. Our young lovers together at last. Surely now, they can live happily ever after.” The man walks down the aisle closer to the altar. “But you forget,” he grabs Maeve’s arm and pulls her into him, “she’s still my wife! I will not leave here empty-handed!”

“You,” you gulp.

The man looks at you and his eyes widen.

“Y/N? No, I left you.”

“For dead,” you say quietly.

Everyone in the church gasps loudly at the realization that the man who stands before you is your murderer. He backs away with Maeve in his arms just as everyone stands in anger for what he did to you. There is a corpse with a sword hanging out of his body that Justin grabs. He places the sharp end over Maeve’s throat with a glare.

“Take your hands off her,” Spencer glares and walks toward them.

“Do I have to kill you, too?”

Justin shoves Maeve away and goes to swipe at Spencer but he jumps out of the way. Spencer is not equipped for hand-to-hand combat so he’s easily outdone by Justin, but you’re not going to let Justin take away something else from you. Spencer trips and falls, making him an easy target. Justin raises the sword to bring it down on him but you quickly step in the way so that the sword ends up in you.

Everyone gasps in shock and backs away but the sword does nothing to you. You grip the handle of the sword and take it out of you before pointing it at Justin.

“Touche, my dear,” Justin says.

“Get out,” you give him a deadly glare.

“Oh, I’m leaving,” he chuckles darkly and walks around you to the table with the cup of poison. Although, he doesn't know it’s poison. He grabs it and holds it in the air. “First, a toast to Y/N! Always the bridesmaid, never the bride. Tell me, my dear, can a heart still break once it’s stopped beating?”

You want to cry. You want to scream and yell and kick but you’re not back home. All your friends get up to defend your honor but Elder Henry holds them back.

“We are in the land of the living. We have to abide by their rules.”

Justin raises the cup and drinks the entire glass. He walks away with his head held high but before he can get to the door, he chokes on nothing. He grabs his heart and staggers, and Elder Henry steps aside knowing that Justin is no longer part of the living.

“Not anymore,” Marcy smirks.

“She’s right. He’s all yours.”

All of your friends gather around the man who killed you to give him a taste of his own medicine. You turn to Spencer and Maeve who are overwhelmed by what happened.

“Spencer, I never thought I’d see you again,” Maeve smiles up at him.

You smile tearfully at the happy couple and turn to leave. You reach the doors to the church when Spencer stops you.

“Wait, I made a promise.”

“You kept your promise. You set me free.” You take off your wedding ring and place it in his open hand. “Now I can do the same for you.”

You turn and walk down the steps of the church only looking back once at Spencer. A white light encases your body as your soul is released to be whatever it wants to be. After years of being in pain, you’re finally able to take a deep breath in without it hurting.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[chvoswxtch]

Hi Court!! I saw your requests were open and I SPRINTED here :) I love your Frank fics and I wanted to switch to angst, because I’m a mean woman sometimes. I watched that movie called southpaw with the death scene and I thought that it’d be amazing with frank. Like he is in love with a very cute woman but in secret, she’s a friend and doesn’t know that frank is pining for her, but one of his enemies find him while they’re hanging out together and they start a fight and a stray bullet hits her. This is the scene (maybe it inspires you and also the acting is brilliant): https://youtu.be/bPL13UXFGr8 (minute 3:30)

nonnie...

nonnie nonnie nonnie nonnie. I am also a mean woman sometimes (so thank you for making me feel seen) and when I tell you this movie was an emotional trainwreck for me...like there wasn't a single second of it that didn't hurt. I switched it up just a little in a way that made more sense for me (I hope that's okay) and absolutely wrecked myself in the process. 🙃 I don't even know if I should tell you to enjoy or not...but...happy crying??

psa: this one is rough. if y'all thought violets was bad...this one might not be for you. this is all angst. all pain. no comfort whatsoever. if you are on the more sensitive side & need to skip this one, you will not hurt my feelings! my inbox is open if you wanna yell at me, or if you need tissues or hugs. I am profusely apologizing in advance (pls don't hate me for this one).

warning: swearing, mentions of blood & violence, death, mentions of gun violence word count: 1.7k

let that go.

He should’ve walked away. He should’ve just fucking walked away. You’d asked him to, begged him to, but he hadn’t listened. Instead he was reckless, and let that violent storm of chaos that always lingered in his bones take over, clouding his vision and dulling his vigilance with blinding shades of rage. They were just words, they didn’t mean anything. They certainly weren’t worth losing you over. But how could he just stand by while that asshole talked about you like that? 

C’mon, baby. You ain’t been with a real man before. He can’t take care of you like I can. 

You can’t handle a woman like that, bro. She’s way too damn fine for you. How about we play for her?

He was just another drunk shithead talking out of his ass, looking for a fight. You had grabbed onto Frank’s arm the second he had started mouthing off, giving him a soft smile as you shook your head slowly and squeezed his wrist.

He’s just trying to get a rise out of you, Frankie. Don’t listen to him. 

C’mon, Castle. You promised me a night with no fighting.

You had told him to leave it alone. To focus on you, and continue telling the story about how he and Curtis had snuck into Billy’s bunk one night and shaved off his eyebrows. Why didn’t he finish the fucking story? Why didn’t he leave when you asked him to?

You know what, let’s just go. I’ve got drinks at my place, we can order a pizza or something. Come on, let’s just go.

Let’s just go.

Let’s just go.

He was so close. Your hand was so soft as you held his, guiding him towards the exit of the dive bar you two hung out in all the time. The door was right there. Less than ten feet away, just a few more steps, and you two would’ve been out of there. Frank would be on your couch, right now, cold beer in hand, admiring you as you spoke like he always did. Laughing along with whatever joke you were telling. Smiling as he enjoyed how animated your hands were as you painted him a picture of whatever story you were telling. Maybe tonight would’ve been the night he finally worked up the courage to tell you he loved you. Maybe he would’ve kissed you. Maybe you would’ve kissed him.

What’s up man, I gotta fuck your bitch to get your attention?

The butterflies that had filled his stomach from the way your hand fit perfectly in his were immediately incinerated with rage as those words hit his ears. He abruptly stopped, dropping his hand from yours as he turned around swiftly to face the man, jaw setting in a hard line at the way he and his buddies were laughing.

Oh shit, there he is. That got his attention. What’s up, man?

Frank barely registered the feeling of your palms futilely pushing at his chest, trying to force him closer to the door as you pleaded with him. He only tore his eyes down to yours when you grabbed onto the back of his neck, cradling his face in your other palm as you stared up at him with an expression of pure concern.

Frankie, please. Let that go. Please, keep walking. Come on, come home with me. Don’t listen to him. Just let that go.

Let that go.

Let that go.

He should’ve listened to you. He should’ve just done what you asked. He should’ve fucking listened.

Don’t worry, bro. I’ll film it for you. That way you have a little tutorial on how to treat a piece of pussy like th-

Your voice sounded miles away in the back of Frank’s head as he charged forward like a vengeful bull, seeing nothing but red as his fist cracked across the man’s jaw, sending a rain cloud of blood from his mouth onto the floor. It all happened so fast. Frank’s fury completely took over, and anyone that dared to deter his merciless path of revenge was treated with the same unrelenting violence that surged through his fists. He could barely hear you screaming in the background, begging him to stop, pleading cries of his name leaving your lips.

But he couldn’t stop.

That bloodthirsty thing inside of him he thought was gone had only been lying dormant all this time, waiting for that first taste of crimson to reignite its craving, and now it wanted its pound of flesh. Everything passed by in a blur, and Frank had lost track of who exactly he was fighting at this point, but it didn’t even matter. His inner demons weren’t prejudiced about where their offerings came from.

Bang.

The entire bar went silent the second a gunshot rang through the small space, and everyone immediately dropped to the floor. An ear splitting scream cut through the eerie stillness, and the sound seemed to snap Frank out of the haze of wrath he had been stuck in.

Frank?

Frank had never heard your voice sound so small. He instantly whipped his head in your direction, seeming to sober up as he took in the twisted up look of pain and confusion on your face. 

Hey. Hey, sweetheart? What is it? What’s wrong?

I…I don’t…I don’t know…

Frank was over to you in two short strides, cradling your face in his large bloodied hands as he searched your face with furrowed brows. 

What happened?

Something…something happened…

As he glanced down to scan your body, he noticed the way your hand clutched at your side. Fear suddenly sent an icy chill down his spine seeing the hints of deep red that started to seep through your fingers. Tugging your wrist away gently, Frank’s entire body went rigid seeing the maroon stain on your shirt that was beginning to spread like a wine stain on white carpet. 

Am I…am I okay? Am I okay?

Fuck…fuck you’re alright, sweetheart. You’re alright. I got you, yeah? I got you, just hang on. 

A loud cry of pain pierced through your chest when Frank pressed his palm firmly against your side to apply pressure, wrapping you up in his arms as he glanced around frantically for help.

I know…I know, baby, I’m sorry. I gotta stop the bleedin’, okay? I know it hurts, just stay with me, alright? Fuck…someone call a fuckin’ ambulance now!

You gripped onto the collar of Frank’s shirt like a lifeline, staring up at him with wide panicked eyes as you started to hyperventilate. 

Here, let me lay you back-

No…no no no no, I don’t wanna lay down. I don’t wanna lay down!

Okay…okay, you don’t have to. You don’t have to, baby. I got you…I got you sweetheart, it’s alright. It’s gonna be alright.

Tears formed in the corners of Frank’s eyes hearing the fear in your voice. He held you as tightly to his chest as he could, keeping pressure on the wound. The bartender knelt beside him and handed him a rag for the blood, informing him an ambulance was on the way. 

Frank…Frank…

Yeah? Yeah, what is it baby? 

I wanna go home, Frank. I wanna go home-

Okay, okay baby. We’ll go home. We’ll go home, I promise. Yeah? 

I wanna go home. I wanna go home, Frank. Please…I wanna go home. I wanna-

Frank hugged you tightly to his chest when you started to cry, nodding quickly as his frantic eyes quickly scanned over your body. His bottom lip trembled as he leaned in to press a kiss to your forehead, reaching a shaky hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

Just stay with me, sweetheart. It’s not that bad, yeah? 

Lot…lot of blood…it’s a lot of blood-

It’s not that bad, sweetheart. Just stay with me. Hey…hey c’mon, look at me. Look at me in my eyes, baby. C’mon, look at me honey.

Frank felt panic start to rise even higher in his chest as you coughed, blood spluttering out of your mouth and staining your lips and teeth a bright cherry red. Shaking his head quickly, Frank cradled your face and distraughtly tried to wipe it off of your lips.

Oh baby…fuck, baby baby baby-no, no no no, c’mon. Here-

It’s okay…it’s okay, Frankie…it’s…it’s okay-

It’s just a little blood, sweetheart. S’alright, it’s not that bad.

Frank leaned into your touch as your shaky hand cradled his face, staring down at you with glassy eyes as his lips trembled with regret. He shook his head slowly, mumbling endless apologies as your mouth pulled into the faintest of smiles, tears turning the lingering traces of blood on your face into transparent shades of pink.

I love you, Frank.

Pressing his forehead against yours, Frank let out a choked sob as he cradled the back of your head, tasting the familiar metallic tang of blood as he gently captured your lips in a soft kiss.

I love you, baby. I’m sorry. I’m so fuckin’ sorry, sweetheart. I’m sorry, baby. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I can…I can go home…we can go home…

We’re gonna go home, I promise. We’re gonna go home real soon. It’s just a little blood, that’s all. Just a little, yeah?

Full blown panic set in when your hand slowly dropped from Frank’s face, and your grip on his collar loosened into nothing. There wasn’t anymore fear in your eyes as your lids became heavy, and your chest didn’t shake as it struggled to take in oxygen. Frank pulled you fully into his lap, holding your head against his chest as he kept a light grip on your face, searching your face fervently with denial.

No no no…no no no wait wait wait wait. Baby…c’mon, look at me. Look at me in my eyes. C’mon sweetheart, let me see those pretty eyes. No no no no, please…please baby…stay…stay stay stay…c’mon baby stay…baby wait please…no no no…

Frank squeezed his eyes shut as he buried his face into your neck, hugging onto your lifeless body as tightly as he could. A howl of pain ripped through his chest as he sobbed, rocking you back and forth in his arms, repeatedly pouring apologies into your ear.

He should’ve listened. 

He could’ve been holding you in his arms, saying hello to a new life with you.

But instead he was holding you in his arms, saying goodbye as you took your last breath.

tags: @day-dreaming-goddess @neverlandcity @charmedkim @queenofthenoobs @stilldreaming666 @messymissy @dark-academia-slut @strawberry1042

[calisources]

THE ONE WITH THE FACE OF AN ANGEL. all sentences and quotes were taken from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series. all lines are by Angel and his soulless self, Angelus, so be warned a few of these are explicit or allude to sexual acts or have double meaning. change names, pronouns and locations (and ages) as you see fit.

That Slayer...she's a pistol.

I wanna torture you. I used to love it, and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured someone, they didn't even have chainsaws.

Hey! Who's a guy gotta kill to get a drink around here?!

How sweet that virgin tasted, the fresh smell of a newborn's neck. My first nun - now that's a great story.

As for you, you luscious thing. I mean, you were going to let me out of that cage, so, let's see. I'll give you, what, a ten second start.

Don't be jealous, kitten. She's just the warm-up. I'll save the good stuff for you.

Angel,I love you,but I can't be with you...you ate babies...chicks.

The rumors are true. Angel has left the building, and I am back.

What won't I miss? The moralizing. Soul's already in the ether, boyo. I can smell it.

Tell you what. I'll torture ya for a few unbelievably long hours, and you can tell me if this is the lifestyle for you.

Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments.

If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank.

Kill you? Why would I kill you when I can live off you for a month?

I don't want to share my feelings.I don't want to open up. I want to find the guy who killed Tina and look him in the eye.

Are you mad at me for being around too much or not being around enough?

I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise.

I hated the girls back then.especially the noble women...they were just incredibly dull.

They have no taste for the undead. Not that a sting would do me any damage, it's just... tonight's special.

There's a lot I don't understand. I do know it's important to keep fighting. I learned that from you.

My people, before I was changed, they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring.

Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody.

I'm sorry. I wanted to take you out somewhere fun. It's been a long time since I've been to the movies. They've changed.

How can we be together if the cost is your life, or the lives of others? I know. I couldn't tell you. I wasn't sure - if I could do it if I woke up with you one more morning.

Don't mistake me. I do love the ladies. It's just lately... I've been wondering... what it'd be like... to share the slaughter of innocents... with another man.

Don't... I don't think that makes me some kind of a deviant, hmm? Do you?

Sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you, it's... Actually, it is that I don't trust you.

I can walk like a man but I'm not one.

I'm weak. I've never been anything else.

I wanted to lose myself in you. I know it will cost me my soul, and part of me didn't care. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy, it's the man.

For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart.

You're a wreck! She's stronger than any Slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl... you have to love her.

Let me guess, you summoned back the true Angelus because you need a new boy toy.

Oh, my cure? No, thanks. Been there, done that, and deja vu just isn't what it used to be.

The elders conjured the most perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul.

When you become a vampire, the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul; that's gone. No conscience, no remorse, it's an easy way to live.

You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done...and care. I haven't fed on a human being since that day.

See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing.

Gave her the puppy dog "I'm all tortured" act. Keeps her off my back when I feed.

Listen, if we date, you and I both know one thing's going to lead to another.

This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.

I did a lot of unconscionable things when I became a vampire. Drusilla was the worst. She was ... an obsession of mine. She was pure, sweet, and chaste.

Killed everybody she loved. Visited every mental torture on her I could devise. She eventually fled to a convent, and on the day she took her holy orders, I turned her into a demon.

She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive.

Spike, boy you never did learn your history.

If I was blind, I would see you.

A demon isn't a man. I was a man once.

Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you.

Am I a thing worth saving, huh?! Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!

I watched you, I saw you called, it was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps and ... I loved you.

Because I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see, and I was worried that it would get bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life, I wanted to keep it safe.

I can stay in town as long as you want me.

I never was much for preachers.

God, I missed watching this.

I’ll start working on the second front. Try not to use it.

Hm. You smell so good. So warm. I miss that.

You're wrong. You don't know what it is you're asking me to do.

Oh, what's the matter? Look a little nervous.

They always mistake me for the character I play. They never see the real me!

When you kill them. Some just stand there frozen while others.. . 

This was about saving somebody's soul. That's what I do here and you're not a part of it.

That's great, it's nice you moved on; I can't. You found someone new; I'm not allowed to, remember?

I see you again, it cuts me up inside, and the person I share that with is me.

You don't know me anymore, so don't come down here with your great new life and expect me to do things your way. Go home.

Buttering me up. Getting me all relaxed, hm? Not the most innovative interrogation technique, but... OK, I'll play.

Well, now that's a question. Not a great question. Not even an insightful question. 

So much for stand by your man. Then again, you probably like her on her knees.

The more you piss me off, the longer I'll keep you alive.

Oh, something tells me she's a screamer.

Hey, you remember that time you tried to get Angel to kill you because you felt all weepy over being such a bad little girl. Huh? Do you still feel that way? Do you still wanna die?

Well, it's not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends.

I don't need to see movies to get worked up. Just being around you does that just fine. It feels nice, just to feel.

You still my girl?

I know what you're thinking. Maybe there's some good deep down inside of me that remembers and loves you, if only you could reach me.

You know what I just can't believe, all of our time together and we never tried chains.

Dream on, schoolgirl. Your boyfriend is dead and you're all gonna join him.

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 18th: Journaling | Twin Size Mattress - The Front Bottoms | Introspective a/n: eddie first-person pov, stream of consciousness, post-canon fix-it, canon-typical injuries and recovery, pining, pre-steddie. this one will get a second part the week of halloween! un-betaed because I'm challenging myself to write these in under an hour. read on ao3 + masterpost | tumblr masterlist

October, 1986

It’s been awhile, huh? So many blank pages between March and now. It’s kinda weird because so much has happened— things I can’t even write because of the stupid fucking NDA— but blank pages are fitting because I don’t know what to write anyways. 

The hospital sucked. That’s probably obvious, especially when you’re innocent of something for once but everyone’s convinced you’re a murderer. Thank God for Wayne and Steve, pretty sure they would’ve accidentally pulled a plug or something before I woke up from the coma. I don’t have all the details, but I guess after Max woke up, Steve moved his cot into my room and struck up a pretty weird friendship with Wayne. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but he’s been around a lot more. Even now. Not sure how I feel about that yet, either. 

Our trailer was wrecked but the government gave us a new one for those NDA-related reasons. Being in Hawkins is still fucking rough, kinda feels like I’m drowning most of the time, but I got a queen sized bed now. That’s a plus. Be better if Steve someone shared it with me but that’s asking for too much, right? 

Survival’s a tricky thing when you make peace with the fact that you’re about to bite the dust. If I ever start writing songs again, I oughta save that line. But it is. I’m home now, the town’s rebuilding, the kids are back in school, and life moves on but what the fuck do I do with myself?

They gave me a diploma and shoved me out the door, which is great and all, but no one wants to hire the Freak Murderer. Trust me. I’ve tried. Wayne tried getting me in at the factory and was laughed damn near out the building. Robin and Steve tried getting me in at the video store but not even those two could convince that asshat, Keith. And selling is out now. That’s a given. 

So what do I do? Hell if I know. But at least I’ve got pen and paper, and a new guitar to replace Sweetheart (RIP). Steve said everyone pitched in but Dustin can’t keep his mouth shut, so I know that was all Steve… 

Shit. I’m writing his name a lot. That’s a bad sign. I should stop. 

So yeah, pen and paper, new guitar, I’ve made so many fucking mixtapes to pass the time. And at least I’m home in time for Halloween. I wonder if horror movies will be as much fun now that I’ve been the victim of a real life slasher flick. 

Guess I’ll find out.

[idunnoficsorsumthing]

While you were sleeping

Bobby Nash x reader

Summary: Bobby makes a confession when he thinks you are sleeping.

Warnings: none, just a bit of fluff

The sound of the movie playing in the background as you were asleep on the couch. The laughing tape of the silly sitcom kept your subconscious awake. You knew you should open your eyes and go find your bed. Your body was too tired after the night you and the team had. You didn’t consider yourself the daredevil of the paramedics at the 118. Bobby did. Now paying the price, the shift wasn’t even over and your limbs felt like they were going to fall off, and the dull pain in your shoulder. The sound of talking from some people in the background stirred your deep slumber to wake you up. "She's wrecked.” You heard Chimney's voice in the distance. “ She was reckless.” You heard Bobby snap. Every word started to sound more clear, a sign of waking up. This also started a stream of thoughts. Recaps of Bobby being mad at you for pulling a stunt like that flooded your mind. You decided it would be best to keep your eyes shut in case Bobby wanted to give you an earful for falling asleep during the shift. “She should’ve just gone to bed.” Bobby huffed. You could hear the irritability in his voice. “Well, she’s stubborn.” Chimney argued. You heard the disappointed breath. The sound of footsteps got quieter. Someone walked away. Another pair of footsteps was heard, though these got closer. “Let’s get you to bed.” You heard Bobby say. You felt his strong arms pulling you up in his arms. You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do. Wake up and tell him to leave or continue on pretending to sleep.

He carefully laid you down on one of the beds. You felt the fabric of a blanket slide up till your shoulder. You were sure he hadn’t realized you were awake. “You’ve got to be more careful, honey. I love you too much to have to bury you.” He said, you felt his hand move a piece of your hair behind your ear. It finally clicked the whole time he had been yelling at you earlier wasn’t because you were disobeying. But because he was worried. For a second you almost opened your eyes. However, you knew you shouldn’t. It would ruin his confession. His footsteps got fainter, it wasn’t till you heard him walk out of the room when you opened your eyes. Goddamn. Your mind was spinning as you stared at the ceiling.

Your pretend sleep time didn’t last long. Within a half hour the station's alarm bells were going off for an emergency. You quickly race to the truck with your gear in tow. “I can tell your beauty sleep did nothing.” Buck teased as you sat next to him. You punch him in his arm in retaliation. “At Least I got some sleep.” You said, the heavy gear weighed you down, and you played the pain off with a laugh. You didn’t realize how bad of a day you were having till that alarm rang again and you realized this wasn’t the end of the shift. The truck came to a halt, and the team jumped out. You run to do your task but get pulled back by Bobby. “Are you okay?” he asked. His look was stern again. “I’m okay.” you answered which might’ve been a lie. He also didn’t believe you. “I am” you lied. He let you go.

Thank god this was the last emergency of the shift. Your shoulder was now officially starting to become a real pain. You started walking to the door with your bag on your shoulder. “Y/n, let me take you home.” Bobby said also on his way out. You let him take you home. It was way better than taking the bus. The ride towards your home wasn’t quiet. It never was that you loved talking with Bobby. He was actually very fun if he didn’t have to boss people around.

He stopped his car near your building. “Hey, can I ask you something?” you ask. He nods, giving you a smile. “ I can’t reach my fire alarm and I know the batteries are going to run out soon. Can you take it off the ceiling?” you ask him. He wouldn’t have come in if you asked him in for coffee. It would go against his morals as the captain. “ Yes of course, “ he said after hesitating. He followed you up the stairs waiting in front of your front door as you unlocked the door. He was uttering to you that you needed a better lock on your door. You let him in, and he stood tall in your living room. “You want something to drink coffee? iced tea?” you asked. He looked around your living room, spotting the fire alarm in the corner. “I shouldn’t.” he said, as he walked over to the fire alarm. You turn on your coffee machine. It wasn’t long till the aromas filled the room. “You have batteries?” he asked. He opened a random drawer in your kitchen. Probably hoping to find a junk drawer. “It’s the other one.” you said, gesturing to the one near the fridge. You get some cups out of the cupboard and turn around to see Bobby working the fire alarm. He quickly put the fire alarm back on the ceiling and returned back to you. “I should go.” He told you. Instead you moved a filled coffee cup over to him.”please stay.” you ask. You gave him a pleading look. “I’m starting to think your batteries weren’t empty.” he said, you shrug. He got close to you. “I thought you were asleep.” he said, a worry washed over you. He put his hand on your side. “ You know we can’t, right?” he said, you nodded your head. You still moved closer, inching forward waiting for him to stop you. He didn’t stop you. He pressed his lips against yours. You felt a rush of excitement as his lips moved against yours. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it quickly became more passionate. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you. He responded eagerly, his hands pressing into your back as he deepened the kiss.

He broke off the kiss. You looked into his eyes, it showed you the man he was. Restraining himself from what he really wanted. “I should go.” He said again. You didn’t let go off him. “Stay longer,” you said, you hugged his body, and placed small kisses along his jaw while he tried to make his decision. It took a minute before he even said anything. “This is unfair.” He said: “how much longer are we talking about?” You stopped, and looked him in the eye. “How about forever?” You asked. He chuckled. He tightened his grip on you.

[scoops-aboy86]

Not Dating, part 2

part 1, part 3, parts 4 & 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 - also on ao3

This is 1949 words and it was excruciating to write because, like. That internal struggle of how to bring up an out-of-the-ordinary kink with a partner is, uh, yeah. Hm. So, here it is.

cw: panic attack, robin worrying about internalized homophobia, steve worrying about internalized fatphobia

Robin flings her front door open to stop the frantic pounding on it. “Jesus Christ, what—Shit, what’s wrong?”

Steve pushes past her on the right and into the house, swiping his left shoulder against his cheek to buy another few seconds of pretending he even kind of has his shit together. He’d been practically shrieking through the door though, and he’s still breathing hard. “Your, ah. Your parents are still visiting your aunt, right?”

“Yeah—Why? Steve, what’s happening!?”

She’s practically running to keep up with him as he charges up the stairs to her room. It’s not until he’s reached it that he turns around, both hands scrubbing over his damp, reddened face and up into his hair. “It’s not a code red, I just… Fuck, I fucked up, Robs!” 

Robin finally catches up and grips his shoulders, peering hard into his puffy eyes. “Dingus, breathe. You look like you’re having a panic attack.”

“Of course I’m having a panic attack, I fucked! Up!”

She’s never seen him like this before, not even after nightmares about being trapped back under Starcourt listening to Dustin get tortured. 

Steve almost never cries—it’s like his parents had berated it out of him at a young age, which personally she thinks is short-sighted and dumb and one of the many, many things wrong with the patriarchy. But he’s crying now, tears running down his cheeks as he blinks furiously and paces and kicks at the carpet every few steps. He winds his hands into his hair and tugs on it so hard she’s almost worried it’ll come out. And his lips keep moving like he’s trying to work something out, or berating himself, or both on top of heavy, too-fast breaths. 

“Steve, can you talk to me? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

He glances at her, then drags his hands down his face and throws himself down onto her mostly-made bed with a muffled scream into the nearest pillow. Which is probably as close to a ‘Okay, just give me another minute and I’ll tell you everything Robs’ as she’s going to get. So she sits cross-legged on the bed next to him, passes him one of her childhood teddy bears because he likes soft things when he’s upset, and waits. 

After a while, he lifts his head, says, “Eddie,” and drops his face back down. 

Ah. 

Robin has been trying to gently prod Steve into talking about the way he and Eddie have been dancing around each other for months. She’d clocked Eddie’s crush on her best friend all the way back in the Upside Down and silently empathized with the hopelessness of his position, knowing well the pain of falling for a straight person. It was the way he and Steve had both gravitated to each other since Eddie’s release from the hospital, though, that had caught her by surprise. She’s witnessed them cuddling on the couch, for god’s sake. Multiple times! And that’s considered so much weirder between two guys than two girls. But Steve has always shied away from the topic… until now.

“Okay,” she says slowly. “Did something happen with Eddie today?”

Steve shakes with something she first takes for more crying, but he peels himself up again with a peel of croaky, slightly hysterical laughter. “Yes and no. We were going to hook up, but… I didn’t say what he wanted me to, so I guess that’s done.”

“You were—” Robin rests a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Really? Wow, I didn’t realize you—”

“We’ve been hooking up for a couple weeks,” Steve interrupts bluntly, sounding absolutely wrecked to have to say it. 

… Last week she’d been trying to coax him towards realizing that draping himself all over Eddie or pulling Eddie half on top of him during movie nights had to mean something. When he hadn’t taken the bait, she’d made some comment about how they lived in each other's brains and were incapable of keeping secrets from her, “You know that, right Steve?” And he’d nodded and agreed. 

So. Wow. 

“Oh,” she says softly, and despite her best efforts some of the hurt creeps into her voice. It’s not like she doesn’t know how hard something like this can be to talk about, how saying the words can make it terrifyingly real. The only reason she’d told Steve had been the temporary death-defying insanity of both escaping actual, literal, pee-yourself-in-terror-a-little-bit torture and whatever lingering truth drugs said torturers had shot them up with; bringing it up a second time, after all that had worn off, had been scary even knowing he was safe. 

But he has to know that she would’ve understood, right? That she could have helped him figure things out so neither Eddie nor him would’ve ended up getting hurt?

And weeks. Steve is her soulmate, her other half, her Platonic with a Capital P, had been doing gay stuff with another boy and she’d had no idea! The guy she only has to look at to know when he’s hoarding the last of the Red Vines for himself, or that he did forget to rewind something before reshelving it, or that the kids put him up to something really stupid that’s going to take up half their day because it involves driving to the game store two towns over or something. How had he kept up that good of a poker face for so long?!

Robin takes a deep breath and tries again, because her best friend is upset and that’s way more important than feeling left out of the loop. 

“Steve, it’s okay.” She reaches out and starts rubbing his back the way he likes when he’s just thrown up from a migraine, in the hopes that will help now. “It’s okay if you like boys. Instead of or in addition to, whichever, both are totally fine and allowed and only make you a freak in the eyes of small-minded bigots who feel trapped in their own lives and hate joy!”

He rolls onto his side and stares at her with red, watery eyes with a little sniffle. “I know,” he says sadly. “I know, that’s… that’s that Eddie thinks the problem is, because I fucked up when he asked me. He asked what we were doing and I couldn’t… I couldn’t think of any words, Rob.”

She shuffles around to lie down facing him from the other pillow, and Steve automatically positions the teddy bear between their mouths because he knows she has this thing about feeling other people’s breath on her face. 

“I still like girls,” he continues while she’s still getting settled. “And guys, sometimes. Or maybe just Eddie, I don’t know. I know liking a guy doesn’t make me a freak, but I’m—Part of what I like about him isn’t—If I tell him, he might think it’s… weird. Or insulting, maybe.”

“Okay,” Robin says slowly, trying to think through the utter blank she is drawing. “Uh, do you wanna maybe walk me through exactly what you’re talking about? Tell me what we’re working with here.”

Steve hesitates, his gaze sliding away to fix blankly on a loose thread from her quilt that he’s fiddling with. “Yeah, uh…”

Maybe he still can’t think of any words to explain himself. Robin nudges the bear aside and pulls him into a hug, scooching up on the bed a little so he can tuck his head under her chin. “Hey, it’s okay Steve. I'm on your side no matter what, alright? I one thousand percent promise you that nothing you say will make me look at you any differently, no matter what, because you’re my dingus and we’re platonically bonded together by fate and that shit is forever.”

A weak, muffled laugh tickles wetly at her neck. “What if I killed a guy and cannibalized him to hide the body?”

“I’d get you mouthwash and an antacid,” she replies promptly. “Your alibi is that we were watching Flashdance again and I had to wrestle the scissors away from you before you made irreversible surgical corrections to your own sweatshirt.”

Steve snorts. “Fuck, okay. But stop trying to tell people I did that, I was joking about that.” He pulls back, chewing on his bottom lip, and then takes a deep breath. “You know how Eddie’s… gained weight since he got out of the hospital?”

“Yeah?” She does, because at first everyone in their monster hunter club had been worried about how stick-thin the bat attack and subsequent coma had left him. Since then he’s filled back out at then some, definitely no longer underweight and with a good amount of color finally back in his cheeks. 

“I like it,” Steve admits in a small voice. “I like touching him where he’s… soft. I don’t know how to tell him that without calling him fat, though. No one likes to be told they’re fat, right? I don’t really like someone telling me I’ve gained weight, because most of the time people only say that when they’re being critical assholes. But… he looks so happy when he’s eating, you know? All relaxed, and he deserves that after everything he went through. And we get high together and I can’t stop touching him, I… I see skin where his shirt rides up I want to bite it. And I actually have! I’ve been freaking out that he’s going to notice and call me on it, but instead he said he doesn’t want to be ‘just’ anything with me and I choked. Bad!”

“Oh,” Robin says, understanding dawning. Not that she gets the appeal of what Steve is talking about, but she doesn’t get the appeal of guys in general so it kind of falls in the same category… And she could’ve done without that fun biting fact. “Oh, Steve…”

She can definitely agree, though, that after a town-wide manhunt and helping to save the world, Eddie Munson deserves to relax and unwind however he wants. They all fucking do, but Eddie nearly died. 

The way Steve’s face crumples up hurts her heart to see. “H-he asked me what we were doing and all I could think about was what I was doing and I just… sat there. I fucked it up.”

She hugs him tightly again. “No no no, this is fixable. We’ll come up with a way for you to tell him, okay? It’s just a misunderstanding, that’s nobody’s fault.”

“We’ve been hooking up for weeks and I’ve kissed him everywhere but the mouth,” Steve mutters miserably into her shoulder. 

“…Okay, that bumps it up to like, sixty percent your fault,” Robin admits, frowning. That doesn’t sound like the Steve she knows. The Steve she knows loves kissing, he’d literally been known for that back in school; everyone had always gotten to see him and his girl of the week (or Nancy, during the twelve or so months they’d dated) sucking face in the hallways between classes, by their lockers, in the parking lot before and after school. “Why the hell not?”

“Because I was already being weird about it, kissing him felt like it’d be… Fuck, what’s that big word Dustin likes to use? Oh, presumptuous. And… he didn’t try to kiss me either, so I wasn’t sure…”

“Dingus,” she sighs, and hugs him tighter. Then—knowing that when Steve gets going about his trysts he does so comprehensively, no detail spared, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but she mentally braces herself to hear more talk about penises in the next hour or so than she has before in her entire life—she says, “Alright, from the top. Tell me everything so we can figure out how to get you your man.”

Part 3, parts 4 & 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

Tag list: @steviewashere (since your ask kicked this off in the first place 😘), @hotluncheddie