#this movie just beggars belief like genuinely

[magstorrn]

okay yeah now i understand why the 2021 j&h film has such bad reviews lmao. that was one of the worst things ive seen in my life

[avelera]

I am never going to be over what the movies did with Steve and Tony's dynamic, because- listen, listen. The reason Civil War was (supposed to, it was kind of a hot mess) hit so hard in the comics was that these two were *best friends* and had been for decades of comic time. In the movies, they never are friends, so Civil War is just two colleagues who never really got on, and not the devastating tearing apart of a long-established friendship group.

Dude I literally burst out into like... outraged, furious laughter in the theater when Tony said, "I thought I was your friend?" because, umm, footage not fucking found?

I completely get and respect the comic readers here for whom Steve & Tony and Steve/Tony were, in fact, the best of friends! But the MCU never ever actually showed it.

To cram that line, which felt lifted from the comics, into the MCU was genuinely laughable. How could Tony possibly think he compares to what we've seen of Steve and Bucky's relationship, since childhood even if you don't ship them, as the only person Steve has left from his entire life pre-WWII? How could Tony possibly think he compares except through the lens of a galaxy sized ego and being totally self-involved to the exclusion of all else? How could any work colleague, since that's what they are at best when not outright antagonists to each other in the MCU, think they'd compare to a childhood friend in danger, that Tony is actively putting in danger? Who Tony is blaming for the death of his father despite the fact they've got piles of evidence that Bucky was a mind-controlled prisoner of war being actively tortured at the time?

It's literally staggering, it beggars belief that this line was uttered. And wildly enough, it's not even my least favorite line in Civil War. (That one goes to Vision's stupid fucking comment about how strength invites challenge, basically victim-blaming the superheroes for having villains, which only possibly makes any sense if you ignore Thor, the greater galaxy, all of the infinity stones, and basically every other part of the MCU timeline before Steve Rogers got the serum, Christ that line makes me mad.

Oh, and the line about Tony just handwaving signing the accords because their lawyers can fix it later as the most boneheaded line of insane privilege I've ever heard. Kids, never fucking sign something just because you can supposedly fix it later, christ it's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.)

ANYWAY, I have major beef with Civil War's logic. It never should have happened where it did in the MCU. Cap 3 should have been dedicated to its original plot before they found out RDJ was staying on in the MCU and they had the pieces to make Civil War (the original was the hunt for Bucky and an examination of Captain America's legacy through the lens of Bucky killing off the pretenders the US government set up to be him over the years, and I still weep that we never got it) But I do honestly, deeply, have sympathy for comic fans and why they're mad about the Steve and Tony friendship never actually appearing on screen in any meaningful way.

Civil War shouldn't have happened then. Civil War is a plot you run now, when you've got the rights to the X-Men and too many damn characters running amok. Civil War would be perfect now for pairing down some of the ballooning MCU nonsense. The cast was literally not big enough circa Cap 3 to make Civil War. And I'm eternally bitter that they pivoted away from the smaller-scale Cap-centric movie we should have had and instead made another Avengers movie in its name.

[fangirlshrewt97]

Story Summary - RamBheemJenny Canon Remix

Ok again with story summaries, this is a story that can be much longer, but I do not have the energy to write it. If any of you feel inspired, feel free to run with it. I initially brainstormed this story with @ronaldofandom who wanted a love triangle story. (Except I hate love triangles, so I came up with this instead).

///

Ok so the start of the movie stays the same. Malli is captured while Bheem is absent at the village, the British perpetuate their violence against the tribe, and leave with a child already traumatized beyond belief. Ram is still pig headed about his ideals, so sure they are right, and that there is no other way but brute force against his fellow brothers and sisters. Despite the emotional and physical toll, the promotions are al given to White soldiers. But. Come on. An Indian THAT willing to beat up other Indians and THAT brutal about it? That CO was sweating buckets, and definitely reports the incident to Scott.

Who is dumb and arrogant and so sure of British supremacy but also not a complete idiot. He has a niece visiting, and he does not trust her among the mongrels of this country. He meets Ram, and well, at least this brown monkey knows how to talk civilized. As much as he would prefer Jenny stay in the palace, she is coming on holiday to see the country, so keeping her sequestered makes no sense. He tells Ram he is getting a special job: Bodyguard to his niece.

Ram grits his teeth, blanks his faces and salutes the man. Inside, he is seething. He has better things to do than to babysit a child. Babai advises patience, tells him how getting to spend time with the Scotts will still let them get valuable intel, if not the guns Ram so desires. Ram begrudgingly accepts, even as he snarls at having to take a snobbish brat around the country and hearing them whine about his country. Hopefully the girl is just stupid enough to let Ram manipulate her.

Except...when the girl arrives, she is nothing like Ram expected. She doesn't have the vicious air her uncle and aunt do. She seems naive beyond compare, and is clearly way over her head and unaware about it. She's also so full of questions, and barely spends time at the mansion, which means Ram does not have the time to snoop that he had been hoping for. Some of her questions make him grind his teeth, forcing himself to breath, instead of demanding if she expected India to be a country of beggars.

He also sees as a little girl, barely 10 or 11, clearly kidnapped. He eventually learns her name is Malli, and sees how the "lady" of the house uses her as a singing toy doll, brought out for the amusement of her friends. The first time his opinion of Jenny changes is when he sees her sneak a piece of cake to the girl. He can't remember the last time any Britisher showed that kind of thoughtfulness towards one of his people. He spends the night punching the sandbag until his knuckles are all split open as punishment for his traitorous thoughts.

And yet, it keeps happening over, and over. He realizes Jenny's questions are not mean spirited, but genuine curiosity. That this is the first time she has been away from her parents, the first time she has had her own taste of freedom. Jenny notices Ram's boredom whenever she goes to the city outskirts to paint, and brings him to the mansion's library. It's the first time she notices his eyes widen in wonder. From then on, she always makes sure he is armed with a couple of books during their excursions. She laughs when she notices he has an even mix of adventure stories and military tactics books.

There is also Jake and his special posse to consider. Jenny ... doesn't like them. Finds them callous and doesn't understand how they cannot see what a lovely country they're in, why they always choose to complain about things. She also notices how ... overt Jake is about his position as heir to a small duchy and how Uncle Scott always sits him next to her. She wishes she could have Ram as a conversation partner, at least he lets her speak, instead of Jake who barely lets her express her opinions, or ridicules them when she does. The first time Jenny notices Ram is a good looking man (really notices, beyond the first impression) is when he easily shows up Jake but does it so professionally, even Jake cannot take offence without admitting he lost to him. Jenny's heart skips a beat when she notices the twitch at the corner of Ram's mouth.

Their friendship deepens. Instead of each doing their own thing during their excursions, conversation is more open. Jenny pours her heart out, her growing love for this country, sadness at the thought of having to return home. Ram doesn't share much, but he listens and he also starts to see the girl beyond the position.

He forces himself to remember just who they are to one another.

Of course living in the Scott residence, he hears all about the trouble that they are having with the elusive Gond Protector, and launches his own private investigation in his free time (yes because he hopes that capturing him will get him the promotion, but a smaller voice that he tries to shut up also tells him the singing girl is the same age as Chinna, and what would his mother say if he let a child continue to suffer and then also took away her only chance at freedom?).

Jenny notices Ram being more distracted and distant, and tamps down the disappointment in her heart.

The next few events happen quickly, with Ram chasing after Lacchu, getting caught up in that freak train accident, meeting Akthar, and befriending that man. Dosti happens, and Ram has not had many close friends, only Seetha really, but Akthar means so much to him.

Jenny notices Ram is smiling more nowadays and asks if it's a girl. Ram laughs it off and says he's made a new friend.

One day, Scott calls in Ram to ask about how Jenny is doing, and general status report type of situation. Jenny had planned to go to the market, and debates abut waiting for Ram, but honestly its only a couple things... in her car it will barely take an hour...

Bheem is still terrible at flirting but that is cause he is really not thinking of romance at the sight of this white girl. She lives in the house where Malli is. Bheem could use her to get inside. But she isn't cruel like the others, and Bheem has always been able to make friends within a few heartbeats, so what's new here?

Ram panics when he notices Jenny is missing, and Officer Harry is all too happy to rub it in his face as he brings her back.

Let's push back the timeline so instead of that very afternoon, it takes another two weeks for the garden party. Ram smiles more freely around Jenny now, and she has to control herself not to blush when she stops rambling about the party to notice him looking at her with something akin to fond indulgence. She of course wants to invite her new crush, because if Ram is pretty, the other man, Akthar is stunning. Broad and wide and strong and kind. So unlike the arrogant English boys and men she is accustomed to. She also knows that Ram is a safe fantasy that will never amount to anything, but with Akthar...she'd like to at least be able to talk to the guy! She asks Ram to start tutoring her in Hindi/Telugu, and Ram is confused but agrees.

Two weeks also gives times for a few more encounters between Bheem and Jenny, conveniently when Ram is not around. It's not that Jenny does it intentionally, but ok she doesn't want Ram to tell her uncle. More importantly though, she doesn't know how she'd react if both her crushes were in the same room together. She invites Bheem to the party anyways.

Anyways, the party happens, and two events take place. 1, the trio realize they all know each other and have a minute of tension that is thankfully interrupted by a belligerant Jake, annoyed that Jenny is more excited about two brown men than him. 2, Naatu Naatu.

In this iteration, Ram was not aware of Akthar's affections for Jenny, and he is wary but hey they are both sweet souls, and deserve happiness, even if it is temporary. He doesn't think about why his heart feels like its breaking twice. He takes comfort in the pain, uses it as a wake up call about his mission, and his promise to his father.

On his day off, Ram is walking around the city and spots Lacchu, gives chase, still tortures him, and ends up with a snake bite. Bheem saves him, reveals his identity, causes an existential crisis for Ram, and goes off to invade a party with a truck full of dangerous animals.

Ram wants to kill. Even more, he wants to die. He thought the worst the universe could do to him had already been done with the death of his family.

He was wrong.

The interval fight happens, with even more angst because at the end of it, Jenny looks just as betrayed and disgusted. Whatever bit of soul Ram had left shrivels up and dies.

Next is Komuram Bheemudo. For Ram it is the realization that he has been approaching everything through one small narrow way of looking at things. That words and ideas and spirit can serve as inspiration and weapons just as much as weapons.

If only this epiphany did not come at the cost of the life of the best man he has ever known (and the best friend he has ever had). Jenny throws up as soon as she returns to the room, summarily tells her uncle she never wants to see Ram again, and spends the next few days in bed, crying.

How could Ram have done such a thing to Akthar...Bheem? Akthar-Bheem. He was only trying to save Malli.

Except.

Except Bheem didn't die? He saved Malli and they have escaped? Ram aided and abetted them?

Jenny's head spins at this turn of events and she wishes desperately to talk to either man but is not given the chance, instead questioned thoroughly about Ram. She truthfully says she has no idea about anything about him.

Ram is scheduled for execution. Jenny makes plans to return home. She cannot stay here. Cannot watch him die.

She convinces the guards to look the other way for a single night, and goes to see Ram. Is horrified by the beatings and injuries he has sustained. She asks him why he captured Bheem. Why he let him go?

Ram doesn't give her his whole backstory. Just says he was tired of seeing his people and culture being erased by the British and he couldn't sacrifice his friend. He's ...somewhat redeemed in Jenny's book (aka she sees him as a friend again).

And when Bheem approaches Jenny (with Sita in tow), revealing the whole story, she immediately joins them in breaking Ram out. Sita gets her far from the city, so she is only distantly aware her only family in this land is dead when she sees the smoke from the debris of the mansion. Eventually the boys rejoin them all, and Bheem fulfills his promise of reuniting Ram with Sita.

(We haven't really spoken about Bheem's feelings in this iteration, but I think it's because it is the most consistent of them all. He always falls for Ram, and is betrayed, and then finds it in him to forgive his friend.)

Now which romantic and which platonic relationships spring from there, I'll leave to your indulgence. Personally, I'd like for Jenny to realize that a relationship with either is only ever going to be a fantasy. And for RamBheem, I want them to find a true friend in Jenny, beyond just her use as an ally. RamBheem themselves? Well, theirs is a bond forged in the heart of a star, born suspended over the Yamuna with an exploding train over their heads. Their souls and hearts are intertwined. Romantic readings are up to reader's discretion.

///

@rambheem-is-real @budugu @bromance-minus-the-b @hissterical-nyaan @obsessedtoafault @hufhkbgg @yehsahihai @rorapostsbl @fangirl-from-discord @fadedscarlets @alikokinav @chaotic-moonlight @rambheemisgoated @rambheemlove @jaganmaya @burningsheepcrown @lovingperfectionwonderland @rosayounan @iam-siriuslysher-lokid @thewinchestergirl1208 @dumdaradumdaradum @ronaldofandom @jjwolfesworld @jrntrtitties @kashpaymentsonly @jeonmahi1864  @stanleykubricks @m3gs1mps4a @tulodiscord @teddybat24 @sally-for-sally @ssabriel @jadebomani @stuckyandlarrystuff @veteran-fanperson @ohfuckoffpls @bheemaxrama @chaidrivenwhore @gifseafins @keyhunter04 @umbrulla

[gaiahypothesims]

50 Questions for your Sim

I was tagged by TWO people but I can’t scroll back far enough to see who the second was!!! I’m so sorry! @ultroslovesyou Thanks for the tag that I CAN find.

Ash would LOVE to answer these himself. And its LONG because .... Ashley. (Its like... so long I’m embarrassed)

01. How old is your sim? Isn’t age subjective? I’m as wise as an elder, but youthful in looks as a young man in his absolute prime. 

02. When is your sim’s birthday? On the most perfect day. My Mother said the sun was shining and all the birds were singing. My newborn cries were met with tears of joy and happiness. 

03. What is your sim’s zodiac sign? This is a complicated question, as the Zodiac horoscopes you see popularly don’t take into account so many details. For one-... No I can’t answer this without explaining everything-

04. What is your sim’s ethnicity? I’m a child of the world. Fine, my parents are originally from India. Though I’ll have you know this kind of question is very narrow-minded.

05. Does your sim have any nicknames? Ash. That’s it. NO you may not ask my brother if I have any others.... or Evelyn... or Rosie. Just take my word for it.

06. Do they have a job? Travel Writer and a professional student in the teachings of the world. In fact, I do believe that being an avid learner in all things-

07. Where does your sim live? Its rude to interrupt someone every time they try to answer a question. AS I was saying, being an avid learner has taught me that there is no such thing as having a ‘job’. We have a responsibility to cultivate our PASSIONS. In that way you will never once be trapped by a ‘job’ or by one ‘place’, a box really, to call a home. 

08. Who does your sim live with? I’ve lived with so many different, unique, and beautiful individuals. I’ve been really helping my amazing friend Evelyn out. She’s very dependent on my mental fortitude. I don’t find it trying at all, though there are some days I do feel an imbalance in my Chi due to her constant bitching about my hair shedding. I tell her that just because she can SEE my hair better because its black doesn’t mean that she isn’t shedding as well. The OTHER day I found a long, thin, sad, brown hair in my soup, and I know for a fact that I have only the most luxurious raven black hair. 

09. What environment did your sim grow up in? (strict, loving, cold etc.) I have the most loving of parents. My brother on the other hand... well let’s just say he’s embraced Capitalistic conspiracy. 

10. What are your sim’s favourite food? I’ve found that the most healing and ethereal foods are what my body craves. Something like Lotus blossom water, I feel could sustain me for years. .. hmm?.. Oh no, I’d never TRY to live off of it. It is just water...

11. What is your sim’s favourite drink? I adore a good Oolong tea, I have an interesting story about how I was introduced to this-

12. If they have one what is your sim’s favourite color? Well that was rude, I wanted to explain the Oolong. Very well... moving on. How can one choose a favourite colour? The spectrum is SO vast. Can you believe that human eye can perceive approximately 10,000,000 colours? How can I choose a favourite?

13. Does your sim believe in any clichés? (love at first sight) Of course! There has to be a basis of truth if so many can relate to cliches. 

14. What is your sim’s sexuality? I would say that I do mostly enjoy the company of women sexually, but that’s not to say that I think men are unattractive. Sexuality isn’t a be all- end all. We are constantly learning new things about ourselves. I’ve recently discovered that I don’t mind a bit of anal play. I’ll tell you exactly how I discovered this, and it might surprise you-

15. What is your sim’s gender identity? How can you NOT want to learn more about my experience? It might change your life. I’m going to be writing about it for my next article. It has something to do with... a bath house.. and that’s ALL you’re going to get from me since you so rudely interrupted. Again.

16. Is your sim type a or type b? I don’t believe in types. Like asking me if I’m a square or a circle. I’m an entire sphere, unable to be bound to your strict typist ideals.

17. Is your sim introverted or extroverted? I would have to say that I am thoughtfully introverted. 

18. What is your sim’s favourite woohoo position? Oh so NOW you want to hear about my sexual exploits? Well its too late. I’ve been through the entire Kama Sutra, and NO that is not because I have Indian heritage, and it would have shocked you. 

19. Is your sim a pet person? If so what is their favourite animal? Not so much. I like Jonah’s dog actually. In fact he is likely more loyal to me now than he ever was to Jonah. An animal can sense things. 

20. Does your sim have a best friend? Rosie and Evelyn.

21. What is/was your sim’s favourite school subject? I quite enjoyed creative writing, which I think is why I turned to Travel Writing. The absolute best of both worlds. 

22. Is/was your sim a high, mid or low achiever in school? Every child has their own strengths and I find it unfair to measure one against the other when everyone is a unique learner. 

23. Are they planning to go or have they already been to college? If so, what would be or what was their major? I did go for a few years, but I never graduated with a degree. The classes that I took were all for my own interest, not to pander to organized academia for a worthless piece of paper.

24. What are your sim’s political beliefs? (if they have them) Politics are a construct to keep the individual from reaching their full potential. 

25. What is one thing your sim wants to do before they die? I’d like to share my travels with someone that I love, and that loves me back. 

26. Does your sim have a favourite TV show (cable) and/or movie? Watching television stunts a persons cultural and creative growth.

27. Is your sim a Netflix viewer? If so what are their top 3 shows. No.

28. Does your sim like books? Absolutely. I try to pick up a new book at every new location that I get to. I then leave my old book. Its a wonderful way to associate a certain story with a specific location. The feel and smell and tastes seem to stick better, for me, that way. 

29. Does your sim enjoy video games, if so what is their favourite one and do they play on PC or console? Well, I don’t love video games. But Evelyn owns one of those game systems, and sometimes we play together. Its purely for her therapeutic benefit that I join in.

30. What is your sim’s personal style? I wouldn’t dream of limiting myself to only one style.

31. Does your sim have a lucky charm? I make my own luck.

32. Is your sim religious? I’m an acolyte of all religions, including no religion.

33. What kind of music does your sim listen to and who is their favourite artist? There was a beggar woman in Romania that played the most beautiful violin. I gifted her talent with a hand-written poem. She didn’t seem to appreciate it, but I still remember her music.

34. Is your sim a festive person? If so what’s their favourite holiday? I love celebrating all the holidays, and festivals, as long as they aren’t attached to the shilling of Corporate greed. 

35. What is your sim’s favourite type of weather? All weather is beautiful and should be appreciated.

36. Does your sim prefer to start fights or finish them? I don’t prefer either.

37. Does your sim have a dream job? I am living my dream, doing something I love strictly for the passion of doing it.

38. Does your sim have any siblings? .... ugh.. one brother. Raj. 

39. Does your sim get along with their family? I love my parents very much. My mother is the most beautiful and loving woman, and my Father is generous and giving. 

40. What is your sim’s favourite hobby? Nothing, I don’t believe in hobbies. I believe in passion and doing. If you’re doing it and you love it, it isn’t a ‘hobby’ its a passionate endeavor. 

41. What does your sim look for in a romantic partner? I’m not very good at making things work with women. I’m not entirely sure why. It could be because I move so frequently. I have no schedule, no concept of time and plans. I suppose I’d love someone that also could be as flexible. 

42. What is a secret about your sim? I have no secrets, I’m an open book. <He’s extremely vain. His nonchalance is extremely cultivated>

43. What is a wish your sim has? To share my adventures with someone that loves me. 

44. What is a flaw your sim has? Is there really such a thing as flaws? Are we not like the kintsugi in Japanese pottery, “flaws” make us beautifully unique.

45. How do others generally perceive your sim? I would say that some are threatened by my complete oneness with the universe. They might see it as something else, arrogance... perhaps. Though if I could have a moment to explain it to them, they would understand and appreciate it.

46. Does your sim have a greatest achievement? Every achievement is a great one. For a person to get up in the morning, is an achievement. The will to say “yes! another.” and to make it through the day happily, unhappily, to have an adventure, to stay home and self-care, its what life is about. There is NO greatest achievement. Every action is great in itself, no matter how small.

47. If they have one, what is your sim’s greatest regret?  That I tried to follow in Rajan’s footsteps for too long. Instead of embracing who I really was. 

48. Does your sim have a favourite emoji? Emoji’s can’t properly convey all the feelings that I have. I feel that a wordy text, or a phone call is so much better. A long text is something the person can treasure over and over, but a phone call can contain so much more warmth and genuine conversation.

49. Does your sim use simstagram? <under his breath> Yes. 

50. What is the last text your sim sent (and who did they text)? Oh do I have to share? This isn’t exactly... fine.. its to Evelyn and it says: You’re a dirty tramp. <cough> ... I’m sure she’s treasuring the words right now, yes thank you. 

[lezliefaithwade]

Faith, Hope & Charity

At Vatican City, I overheard two American tourists with distinctly southern dialects discussing the beggars asking tourists for change.

“You’d think they would do something about it,” the man said to the woman, who nodded in agreement while admiring her recently purchased crucifix.

Visitors waiting for their designated museum times can sit in the square or stroll through any one of a dozen souvenir shops that sell religious artifacts for exorbitant amounts of money. Things that generally sell on Kijiji or Amazon for next to nothing are priced three or four times higher in the square. And these tourists beside me had opted to give their money to thieves in suites rather than beggars in rags. Interesting. I have to assume they were religious; hence, why the crucifix? True, it could have been a gift for someone else, but even so, it seemed so biblical, me sitting at the Vatican beside two reasonably well-dressed people who were loudly condemning the poor.

I’m not against people with a belief. I’ve known some incredibly kind Christians and some indecent ones too. I’ve dated Jews, Greek Orthodox, Coptics, atheists, and agnostics. Sometimes I meet people who tell me they’re spiritual, and I take that to mean that they believe in a higher power but not an organized religion. The thing about organized religion is how desperate they are to recruit you. I’ve made the mistake a few times of accompanying a friend or boyfriend to their church or temple of choice only to be cross-examined at “friendship hour” afterwards.

“Don’t forget to sign the registry” “Be sure to leave your e-mail?” “How did you like the service?” “

I’m always so tempted to say, “I didn’t like the service at all. I thought the little speech in the middle was boring as hell. In the theatre, you’d never be able to get away with so little effort.” In fact, during a few of those boring lectures, I’ve actually wondered what it would be like to review them. Can a person be a homily critic?

Last Sunday at St. Thomas Episcopalian, Reverend Porter spoke on the story of the Good Samaritan in what can only be described as a futile effort to instill any empathy whatsoever. His monotone delivery showed no sign of excitement or interest in the very subject of which he spoke, and his overuse of gesticulation could be better served as choirmaster. I highly recommend any churchgoer avoid this Liturgical season until Easter, when things will hopefully become a bit livelier.

I’ve often made the mistake of expecting more from those who claim to believe. After all, the general consensus (and I don’t think I’m going out on a limb here) is that someone who follows the word of God is most likely going to practice kindness, love, compassion, forgiveness, and understanding.  It’s like a person who boasts of being a great chef and then serves you store-bought pasta with a lumpy Béchamel. “I don’t wish to offend,” you might say, “But do you really expect me to swallow this crap?” If Catholic school taught me anything, it was how rarely one saw the word of God put into practice. Not that everyone was mean, but the “Do unto others…” doctrine wasn’t generously applied. Sadly, more often than not, I’ve often been disappointed by those who claim to be followers of Christ. I think, if Jesus were around today, He’d be disappointed too. Sometimes I imagine Christ with a Twitter account and millions of followers towards whom He’d constantly have to correct in a never-ending stream of tweets like:

“I cannot be held responsible for everything the prophets said,” or “I didn’t even know Leviticus.”

People who have no religious beliefs whatsoever can also be surprisingly horrible. I’m always slightly taken aback when they denounce religion taking the stance that this makes them somehow better than everyone else. I’m easily tricked into thinking they are, then let down when they behave just as badly. These are the people who fight for climate control while driving an SUV. They’re firmly against bullying, then bully you when you disagree with them. I kind of subscribe to the whole: Let he without sin cast the first stone. As advice goes, it’s pretty good.

My belief system runs somewhere between Spiritual Deism with a side of Christianity and a strong desire to be Jewish.  My Jewish boyfriend for seven years reminded me of what it meant to be part of a family, something I always wanted.  I looked forward to Friday Shabbat dinners where we’d gather over brisket and discuss important issues like the colour of the car Bernie was going to buy.

“It’s red.” He’d nonchalantly say while savouring the dinner.

“Red?” his Mother would announce. Fork down, dinner halted. “You’re not a red car sort of guy.”

“What does that mean?” Bernie would ask, oblivious to where this was going.

“You’re a blue car or a gold car-- not red. You’re brother here; he’s a red car driver. Mr. Flashy. Mr. Look-at-Me. But you…you’re definitely not red.”

“I can be flashy!”

“Never!”

“Sure, I can.”

“Not going to happen.”

“There are plenty of times when I’ve been flashy.”

“Name one?”

“Aunt Zelda’s birthday party?”

“Aunt Zelda’s birthday party? What are you talking about?”

“I did that impersonation of Lenny Bruce.”

“Oy vey. Shut up and eat your brisket. And tomorrow, change the colour of your car.”

My first husband’s father, Ezzat, was completely the opposite. A proud Egyptian, he’d grill me over dinner with questions like, “Do I or do I not ALWAYS ask you about your father?” to which I’d cautiously reply, “Well…I wouldn’t say always.” The next thing I knew, I was being called a liar, and he’d refuse to cross the threshold of my home. Once, while I was still suffering from dry sockets after having my wisdom teeth removed, he blended lamb, lentils and carrots together in what can only be described as vomit. It was a lovely gesture, but he was deeply offended when I couldn’t drink/eat it. I offended him a lot. Looking back on old journals, it strikes me now that no fiancé in the history of the world was more disliked. At night I’d pray, “Dear God, what have I done to make everyone hate me?” And all I heard back was, “Who’s everyone?”

Christian or not, it isn’t easy being a good person. When people run a stop sign, then give me the finger when I honk, I’m apoplectic, ruminating all day on what an asshole they are. If someone cheats me or slights me or makes me the subject of a lie, I brood and stew, giving away too much power to those who wish to hurt me. I aspire to be most like my father, who was always kind and courteous. Walking down the street in his later years, he would say hello to everyone and mean it. He was genuinely interested in people. I was grateful that he didn’t seem to notice women blanch when he called them “dear” or, after exchanging pleasantries, would leave someone with a “God bless you.” As his dementia grew worse, he appeared to become more and more beatific. Whether playing monopoly or eating a sandwich, he relished every moment accepting his fate with grace. As I sat beside his hospital bed and watched him pass from this world to the next, I believed he was embraced by something.

I think about my friends who have been oppressed yet still find the ability to forgive, celebrating at Baptist churches with a kind of joy I rarely see anywhere. I have learned a lot from my Black friends, and colleagues about what it means to be, if not Christian, then Christian like. I’m humbled by the love I’ve received when I probably didn’t deserve it.  

Hollywood would have you believe that Christians are either assholes or saints, and regardless of which category you fall into, you’ll suffer in the end. The assholes are hoisted on their own petard, and the saints are martyred.  I have a famous writer friend in L.A. who once said to me, “It was easier to come out as gay than Christian in Los Angeles.”

When I was seven, I saw the movie Song of Bernadette based on the true story of a young girl visited by the Virgin Mary. As a result of her miraculous visitations, Bernadette is rewarded with tuberculosis of the bone, suffers terrible pain and eventually dies—all while being persecuted by a nun who is jealous of her visions. At seven, I put two and two together. If that’s what happens to you when you’re humble and devout, then count me out. The last thing I wanted was for God or Mary or Angels to appear before me. And it wasn’t just Bernadette. Saint Afra, Saint Aggripina, Saint Basilissa, Saint Cecilia, Saint Dymphna, Saint Eurosia, Saint Susanna, Saint Juthwara, Saint Noyala, and Saint Winifred were all decapitated for their faith. To make matters worse, Faith was my middle name. What was my Mother thinking when she saddled me with a Christian moniker?  From what I could tell, since the basis of sainthood appeared to be suffering under horrible circumstances, I was eager to abandon the idea of being good altogether.  As long as I had a little larceny in me, I could stave off being burned at the stake or decapitated.  When misbehaving, my Mother would ask, “Why are you so bad?” And I would answer, “So I don’t become a saint.” I could see no situation in which becoming pious was worth it.

Back in the Vatican museum, I stood beneath the Sistine Chapel ceiling with hordes of other tourists feeling a bit like I was in purgatory waiting for judgment. Guards constantly chastised us to be quiet as we craned our necks to catch a glimpse of God. “There’s so much nudity,” I heard someone say, “God doesn’t look like that.” I was tempted to say, “It’s not a photograph. It’s an interpretation.” But I wisely kept my mouth shut. As I stared at the Delphic Sibyl, I remembered the legend: …born between man and goddess, daughter of sea monsters and an immortal nymph; she became a wandering voice that brought to the ears of men tidings of the future wrapped in dark riddles. It sounds like Sibyl might be pretty busy these days. Finally herded outside, most of the people around me had already put Michelangelo’s frescos out of mind. It was just one more thing to cross off their bucket list. Instead, their attention was now on the line-up at the Vatican pizzeria where for 10 Euros you could have a slice with cheese. 2 more Euros, and you could have water add an extra Euro and you could have it blessed.

As my time to visit St. Peter’s Basilica drew near, I lined up like a good little pilgrim to enter the “Holy Door” and passed into the atrium. I didn’t feel the presence of God there, just tourists who couldn’t resist a good selfie in front of the Pieta. Michelangelo’s sculpture masterpiece conveys the sorrow of the Virgin Mary, her right hand clutching her dead son while her left-hand falls limp at her side, resigned. I was contemplating the gesture when the woman beside me asked her friend,

“What do you suppose it means?”.

“Maybe she dropped her cellphone,” her companion quipped, and they laughed. It echoed shrilly through the chamber like hyenas. I sometimes feel the same way about women as I do about Christians. I expect them to be better and disappointed when they aren’t. I’m sure they feel the same way about me.

[deborahdeshoftim5779]

Responses to “The Marvel of Trelsi Part XI”

Response to this post by BoltonEvans here: 

“The biggest issue with Troyella honestly isn’t just that their relationship is unequal, which would be an indictment in and of itself, but that it’s unhealthy. When we break it down to brass tax; Troy’s future isn’t as important as his and Gabriella’s relationship, but Gabriella’s future is more important than their relationship. Gabriella is always right, and Troy is always wrong. Gabriella is entirely above reproach. Troy’s every action is open to criticism and rebuking. Gabriella sees fit to punish and scold Troy when he fails to meet her ludicrously high expectations, but Troy can’t so much as question Gabriella’s failings and shortcomings as a partner without receiving an icy look from Gabriella, herself, and the justification that Gabriella “always” does “the right thing”, and is “one step ahead, as usual”. When Troy confides his concerns about his future and his insecurities in Gabriella, Gabriella scarcely pays his words any mind before bringing up her own (comparatively less serious) problems, as if she needs to one up her boyfriend. Gabriella can toy with Troy’s feelings and ultimately determine that he isn’t worth fighting for, while Troy scrambles to do everything in his power to keep Gabriella content and at his side.”

Great points. I agree. 

“Yet, it’s Troy the characters in these films, and, consequently, the fandom, see fit to demonize and write off as “not good enough for Gabriella”.

The fandom’s vindictive cruelty towards Troy beggars belief time after time. I conclude that they were watching a different version of the film. 

“Ryan was originally conceived as having a crush on Gabriella, in High School Musical 2. Which, definitely was a byproduct of writer’s bias- two male leads lusting after the same girl? Yeah. Extreme bias. Anyway, in both the junior novel adaptation of the second film (which was based on an earlier draft of the script), and a deleted scene, Ryan attempts to flirt with Gabriella in an outrageously uncomfortable manner by mentioning the previous lifeguard at Lava Springs having awful back hair; implying that Gabriella is far easier on the eyes. This concept, however, seems to have been by and large abandoned in the final cut of the film. Instead, several lines of dialogue, as well as Lucas Grabeel’s performance, indicate Ryan having a preference for the Troy half of Troyella.”

I see no avenue for Ryan having feelings for Gabriella. And I don’t like to imagine what an “earlier draft of the script” would look like, given the final product. What I see in this scene is Ryan walking into a trap with his naiive eyes open, and then Gabriella leaving him to take the flack. He thought Gabriella was being friendly, thought her compliments were genuine, and it turned out that she was a stage prop in a plan to humiliate someone he had no intention to hurt. It’s a disgusting scene, because if you wiped Gabriella out of the picture, clearly the two of them (Troy and Ryan) could have had a nice chat. 

Personally, I don’t think Ryan had a more than platonic interest in Troy, but I do think he got on better with Troy than with Gabriella. He also admires Troy, because Troy has what he longs for: recognition and popularity on his own account. I suppose it is easy to interpret that admiration as being more than platonic. That said, he approached Zeke with a compliment long before approaching Troy. (Not to mention that scene in HSM III “I Want It All” and at graduation between them). Anyway, he does not admire Gabriella, apart from being impressed with her academic abilities. Ryan may also be grateful to Troy, who signed his yearbook-- almost everyone else ignored him when he tried to sign theirs, which gives the impression that very few people signed his. 

Ryan eagerly and without any hesitation declares Troy as having the “category” of East High School’s Absolute Primo Boy “pretty much locked up, don’t you think?”, a large grin playing across his face...

Sharpay asked him a very silly question, which he appears to have taken literally. His tone is sort of “Come on, Shar, you already know the answer to that!” It strikes me that he is very much used to hearing about how much his sister wants Troy, and silently amused that Troy so clearly does not reciprocate those feelings. Ryan’s later annoyance, resentment and eventual anger with Sharpay for using Troy as a tool to replace him tends to make me feel that he would be favourable to Gabriella’s place in Troy’s life because it means Sharpay doesn’t get her way for once. If Troy is unattainable, then he’s not going to be kicked aside. Ryan is a very practical guy. He looks out for Numero Uno. In HSM III, he does not mention that Troy would not like to perform with Sharpay, but that Sharpay can’t fulfil Gabriella’s role: “You... are not Gabriella.” In HSM II, he pretended that Sharpay was “East High’s Primo Girl”, whilst clearly believing it to be Gabriella, hence that funny stare round the corner.

His mood quickly sours, however, when Sharpay begins daydreaming about herself and Troy, leading to Ryan having to take a minute to compose himself before exiting the school building on Sharpay’s heels. 

Actually, he kind of gave her a “get real” look there, by snapping his fingers. I imagine that Ryan is always having to compose himself around Sharpay, given her high drama capacity, and her always roping him into her schemes.  

“...takes issue with Troy potentially performing in the Lava Springs talent show only on the grounds that he doesn’t want to see Troy sing with Gabriella, stands off to the side, beaming, as Troy is introduced to Mrs. Evans...”

I personally think that Ryan didn’t want Troy and Gabriella upstaging him and Sharpay: “What about our song?”. Ryan never actually stated that he wished to see Troy perform in the Lava Springs Talent Show; he even went so far as to tell Sharpay that Kelsi had written a song for him and Gabriella, calling it “a problem”. “Now it’s an amazing song, but Kelsi didn’t write it for us.”-- “us” being him and Sharpay. Along with his incredibly sarcastic behaviour at dinner (which was hilarious), it doesn’t look to me like he appreciates what appears to be yet another dinnertime with him being shunted into the corner, whilst all the focus is on Sharpay, and this time, Troy. His anger when Sharpay announced that she’d be performing in Troy was based on him feeling betrayed by her, and the waste of his beloved “Tiki Warrior Outfit”, not to mention the time and effort he poured into rehearsing a song that he clearly enjoyed-- not least because he got to be the Handsome Prince. His annoyance with Troy at the end of Humuhumu was both hilarious and telling; even though Troy did nothing wrong, he snatched the necklace thing from him and stalked off. :D When Sharpay confirms his worst fears, that he has been replaced, he snaps. Later on, he sarcastically tells Sharpay, “But you and Troy have a good show, sis.” Back in HSM I, he was worried that Troy and Gabriella, referred to as “they”, sounded good-- worried and impressed, rather. When Sharpay ranted against the injustice of Gabriella signing up for the Talent Show, Ryan just pretended to agree with her. He also eventually became good-natured when he saw that Troy and Gabriella performed “Breaking Free” so well. So I don’t think that he was jealous of Troy and Gabriella, but resentful of how Sharpay used Troy as a replacement for him, thus making him feel replaceable. I think that when he was upset about the “Troy and Gabriella” show, he was referring to their popularity and how that would mean no attention for him. We already know that he secretly longed to win the Star Dazzle Award. Ryan seems to me to be incredibly practical. 

I’ve seen the scene where Troy is introduced to Mrs. Evans, and he’s pulling that same face the entire time at everyone, which must take some muscle effort. :D

then, not subtly at all gives Troy’s behind a once over as he passes by.

Maybe it’s just me, but his cap is too far down for me to see anything. It looks to me as though they’re all just getting out of the way. Ryan keeps pulling that face for the entire scene, and sometimes doesn’t even look interested in what’s going on, because almost everyone gradually forgets that he’s even there (as usual). 

The binoculars scene was funny. Ryan looks to me like he’s watching a very good film. However, he is only there because Sharpay forced him to be: later, when Sharpay yells at him to “keep an eye on those Wildcats”, he has snapped and stalks off. I would be more convinced if he decided to keep watch of his own accord. Besides, since his parents own the club, there’s not much for Ryan to do from day to day. So why not spy? :D 

“This is veering into headcanon territory, but… if you factor in the lyrics to “Everyday”, lyrics that Ryan and not Kelsi penned, lyrics that describe both feelings the speaker believes they have only one chance to act on, and Troy’s internal conflict over the course of this film… Ryan likely came to the conclusion that he had blown his one “chance” with Troy.”

Because I hardly ever watch this scene, too pissed off with movie events to stomach the sweet reunion part, I don’t know what the lyrics are. This is a plausible interpretation. But if this song is so important and personal to Ryan, then why doesn’t Ryan, who can play the piano, teach Troy the song? If they’d had that scene together, that would have definitely had more potential for romantic interpretation. 

Obviously, I’m biased, but I just don’t see anyone having the same dynamic as Troy and Kelsi; and Troy is almost completely dependent upon Kelsi to perform “Everyday”, from what I remember-- at least until Gabriella appears. She’s the one giving him the moral support throughout there. I don’t feel that he and Ryan had that unspoken understanding through music that was shown between him and Kelsi. 

What I’d like to know is who taught Gabriella the song. Neither Ryan nor Kelsi are shown to know her that well. Ryan hands Troy the new score and then when Troy confronts Sharpay, Ryan dashes off, whilst Troy is off to rehearse with Kelsi (who manages to teach him an entire song within an hour or so). Where does Ryan dash off to? Is he going to fetch Gabriella? Is he therefore the one who preps Gabriella? So many unanswered questions. 

“Ryan never attempts to approach Troy throughout the rest of this movie, even while orchestrating a scheme to reunite Troy with Gabriella (something Gabriella obviously didn’t want, as she was the one who terminated their relationship) and get him performing in the talent show for the boosters from U of A with a song actually in his range, and a partner he’s comfortable with. It is Troy who seeks Ryan out.”

Ryan helping to orchestrate a reunion between Troy and Gabriella is definitely significant and a very decent thing to do. I think it was a completely naiive idea, but his heart was in the right place.

“And, Ryan’s faces during that sequence say it all. He thought Troy would never have anything to do with him, again, but…. here Troy is, right in front of him, saying his name, apologizing to him, and offering his hand in friendship.”

Yes, I like that scene. Ryan does act as though he is meeting a celebrity. Again, I can see how this might be seen as more than platonic. 

“He can hardly believe it. But, he’s certainly not going to refuse it. He even attempts to ameliorate Troy’s (completely unwarranted) guilt over the talent show by assuring him, “Hey, truth is… we’ve all had a lot of fun. At least I have.”

I approve of Ryan not taking an apology that was never warranted in the first place. 

“I could go on, incorporating graphics from the third movie and break downs of the context of them to illustrate further proof that Ryan has decidedly not platonic feelings for Troy, but I’m sure you’ve got the gist, by now. (And, I don’t want to detract from the point of this analysis, which is intended to be a celebration of Troy/Kelsi, not my preferred ship.) With this knowledge in hand, Ryan’s silence in regards to Troy and Gabriella’s relationship is suddenly painted in a new light.”

I’m happy to discuss all ships. I base ships on their plausibility and level of interest, and though I don’t ship Troy and Ryan, this is quite obviously a superior pairing to Chyan (implausible), Ryella (nonsensical) and Ryelsi (implausible, nonsensical and offensive). All of those three have next to NO evidence in their favour-- I don’t care about “I Don’t Dance”, because it’s a waste of minutes. 

I think Ryan holds Troy in high esteem and they become very good friends, which I think is a positive thing. 

It would certainly be a very interesting headcanon for Ryan (who deserves a more prominent role in some capacity), and one with more proof than for the central couple. But again, I’m biased: for me, Troy and Kelsi are unique (the “Playmakers” *squee* :D) and extremely well-suited for each other, as well as being reliant upon and devoted to each other’s success. They both have something that they need and value in each other that is, to me, a lot deeper than with Troy’s other relationships with other characters. Which is what I’m babbling about in this series, LOL! 

However, I do agree that there are a lot of unappreciated dynamics in the movie series, that deserved far more attention than Troyella.  

“As of the end of High School Musical 2, Ryan and Troy are friends. This is not up for debate. This is a fact supported by their interactions in High School Musical 3: Senior Year. Ignoring the transparent Pro-Gabriella/Troyella bias the entire narrative of that film is steeped in, Ryan has likely come to terms with the fact that Gabriella is the one Troy’s heart is set on. He doesn’t necessarily like it...”

To be honest, I don’t think he looks unhappy there at all; everyone behind those doors looks wistful and impressed at the performance. They always seem to me to be in the middle of a daydream. (Which they are, because this performance is in no way a reflection of Troyella’s actual relationship). Besides, we can’t actually see the bottom half of Ryan’s face in that pic, LOL! I’d certainly like Ryan to be unhappy with Gabriella, but then his later victory air pump during the final Musical performance would contradict that. He doesn’t even look unhappy when Troy shows up halfway through the musical with Gabriella on his arm, and even helps give them another chance! I wish he hadn’t, because Troy should have turned up on his cue, and Gabriella should have fucked off back to California, since she had no intention of performing, but there you go. 

- but he keeps his opinions and personal feelings to himself and tries to support whatever makes Troy happy.

I’d like to see more information about Ryan’s feelings on anything, let alone Troyella. He gets almost no airtime when it’s not convenient. 

With that said, I doubt he’d manage to hold his tongue if he knew the full details of the prom debacle.

Again, I’m hesitant on deciding how he’d react, because I don’t know enough about his feelings, overall. 

I’m really looking forward to further analysis of Kelsi. You do such an excellent job breaking her character down and exploring what makes her tick. It’s given me a renewed appreciation for her. Keep up the amazing work! You’re fighting the good fight. ^___^

Thanks! Kelsi is a marvellous character, who just isn’t appreciated enough in the fandom, so really, she just gives me the material to explore. 

Thanks for the responses!