#this months bad lacroix post

[garygoldenbignaturals]

now listen to me young fledgeling, i am talking directly in your ear now. i need you to do me a favor. you will do this for me. i need you to go to the elizabeth dane, and i need you to not kill the bastards guarding the ship when gathering information about the ankaran sarcophagus. if you come back empty handed youll be in big trouble fledgeling. you will be seeing the light of day.

[bucketbueckers]

MESS ME UP

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader wc: 6.1k content warnings: language, abuse of italics, grammatically incorrect past tense flashback, smut robbery(?), pretty mature but nothing graphic synopsis: your friends invited you out to a frat party to celebrate the men’s team winning the NCAA tournament where you bump into paige bueckers, the girl who you're in love with and who you ghosted for a month after hooking up with her. a much-needed conversation at the party forces you to revisit difficult memories and give her the closure she’s been seeking. notes: idk what this is! based loosely off of 'friends' and 'mess me up' by chase atlantic. unfortunately the smut robbery line is for real, like it's smut in the way lacroix tastes like real fruit (which is to say it's not smut, but like concepts of smut... 😝 (i've never had lacroix idk if this is accurate)) side note i hate writing in past tense but doing a traditional flashback scene is corny as hell! idk if it matters but this is set april 2024 (w/ a february 2024 flashback); doesn't really affect anything, so... anyway, second post on tumblr, lmk if we're rocking w it 🙂‍↕️

For the record, you didn’t want to come to this party.

It’s hot, sweaty, loud, and all you can smell is the same brand of men’s cologne and weed. The air is both stale and somehow feels wet and all you can think about is getting back to your apartment so you can shower and go to bed. You had a mock trial bright and early the next morning and your law professor was a stickler for punctuality and presentability – showing up with wrinkled clothes and smelling like a frat party was a sure-fire way to fail, and you had too much riding on your grades to let that happen.

The frat (whose name you’ve already forgotten) was celebrating the NCAA tournament win for the UCONN men’s basketball team. They’d apparently gone back to back, which you guess is cool, but you swore off basketball a long time ago. If you had your way, you’d be at home, three steps into your skincare routine, but you let peer pressure get the best of you and allowed your friends to drag you out.

It’d be fun, they said. You never come out with us! You’re spending all this tuition money and you’re not even taking advantage of it. How can you say you don’t like it if you’ve never tried it?

You only remember that your friends are law students, too, in the most unfortunate of moments when they put their persuasiveness to the test. In the most unfortunate of moments, you’re also reminded of the fact that they’re college students, too, because they’re leaving you at the door and rushing off to find something to drink. You weren’t upset they dragged you out. Not necessarily. You were grown enough to say no. Perhaps you’d simply set your expectations too high when they begged you to come out and you thought they would spend at least a little bit of time with you before doing their own thing. But sure. It’s whatever.

So, here you are – standing alone in the corner of a frat party, watching as drunk college students grind against each other, laugh, and have a good time. A part of you feels like you’re missing out, but as you watch somebody throw up into a plant, you feel like you’re just fine where you are.

You’re drawn from your thoughts when a man wearing a backwards cap suddenly shows up next to you. “Yo, you thirsty?” he yells over the music, thrusting a red solo cup into your empty hands. You don’t have the time to say anything to him before he’s grinning at you, eyes red and hooded. “Come dance with me. You’re too pretty to be standin’ here all alone.”

You hear her before you see her.

“She’s good, bro, trust,” Paige interrupts smoothly, throwing a casual arm around your shoulders. You feel too much like a damsel in distress, but sensing the gravity of the situation, you flash the guy a light smile and lean into Paige slightly. Her grip tightens. You try to not let it bother you.

He raises his hands, surrendering. “My bad. You got it.”

Paige hums, unconvinced, as he leaves. When he’s out of your sight, you wrench yourself out of her grip. “Thank you, but not necessary,” you tell her sharply, red solo cup still in your hand. If this was how your night was going to go, then you need to be a little tipsy to survive it. You barely have it halfway to your mouth before Paige is pulling it out of your grasp, pouring its contents into a potted plant and chucking the cup into a nearby trash can. “What the fu–”

“First of all,” she begins, arms crossing protectively, “never accept a drink at a party that you didn’t pour, didn’t see someone else pour, or a drink that’s already open; matter fact, don’t accept a drink unless you opened it or brought it in yourself.”

You roll your eyes slightly. “This is Storrs, Paige. Do the frats really get down like that here?”

Her gaze is unimpressed. “You’re the law student, ma, you tell me the numbers. Second of all, you’re welcome. That was Kylin. He doesn’t take no for an answer in the first place but he’s all kinds of fucked up right now. I’d say I did you a favor but I wanted to talk to you, anyway.”

“Funny,” you deadpan. “Here? Now?”

“What are you doing here?” she asks you, ignoring your snippy words. “Thought this wasn’t your scene.”

You pause. “It’s not,” you confirm. “Jos and Chelsea wanted me to come out. Figured I should be a good friend once in a while.”

Paige raises a brow. “Jos and Chelsea are too busy playing strip poker with dudes from Kappa Phi to keep an eye on you, and you’re worried about having to be a good friend?”

“First of all,” you say in the know-it-all tone that Paige had used on you, “I don’t need them to keep an eye on me.” The blonde hums again, not entirely convinced, and the heat of her gaze makes you stumble over your words slightly. “Second of all, why do you even care?”

“We’re friends,” she states.

“We were once,” you correct, voice softening. It’s no secret that you and Paige had fucked up whatever you had going on. It’s never been clear whose fault your fallout was (it was yours), nor could the two of you ever agree on what destroyed you (you would argue that you shouldn’t hook up with your friends, especially not the ones you were in love with). It was a messy situation that you were sure the two of you couldn’t recover from (you didn’t want to be friends with someone you couldn’t have; Paige just wants you to give her the chance to prove you otherwise).

“Sure,” she agrees half-heartedly, knowing your spiel by heart now. “Kinda fucked up you think I need a reason to care.” You don’t dignify that with a proper response, feeling something strangely like guilt corroding your heart. “Come outside and get some air with me? Please? Just wanna talk, no funny shit, I promise.”

You sigh, feeling yourself fall back into all too familiar routines. You had a near inability to say no to Paige most times – it was the reason why you had to put a stop to your friendship. And here you are now, undoing all of the progress you’ve made since you’ve been apart (a small part of you knows better; you’re moving forward but you’re not really doing any better. You’re not progressing. You’re just stuck now, only this time, you have less than you did before). “Jos and Chelsea–”

“–made their choice,” she finishes for you. “And their choice was strip poker with a guy named Anthony,” she adds solemnly. You can’t help but quirk a smile at the absurdity of your life right now. “C’mon, please? It fucking reeks in here. They’ve got a porch swing outside and it’s all quiet and shit.”

“You’ve always had a way with words,” you tease.

“You comin’ or nah?” she asks, but you shove her forward (she lets you) and she leads you through the crowd to the door. They part like the Red Sea and you can’t help but admire the way she silently commands the room, feeling a flutter in your chest you try desperately to stomp out. It’s like a fire; all it takes is a small spark before it eventually grows out of proportion. You know better now.

The door shuts behind the two of you and you sit on the porch swing. You can still hear the music’s pounding bass, but it’s muted. You feel like you can hear your thoughts now. The tension in your shoulders eases as you take in the crisp night air, the crickets’ chirps, the occasional owl’s hoot. For a moment, you forget all of the complicated history between you and Paige; the way she held your hand as she kissed up your thigh, the way she stayed afterwards, cleaning you up and bringing you water. It almost seems as Paige is reliving all of it, too, as she looks at you, and that thought is sobering enough to bring you back to the moment.

You finally get a good look at what she’s wearing. It’s nothing outstanding; a gray Nike tech suit and a pair of dunks, although she’s opted to leave her jacket unzipped, revealing the crop top underneath. She’s dressed for comfort, though the most unfair part of it all is how good she looks when she’s not trying. Her cheekbones are sharp, eyes blue and wide and alert, and you can’t help but notice how fitting a slick-back bun is on her.

This was precisely why you needed your space. You couldn’t control your thoughts or feelings. It was manageable when you minded your business – the phrase out of sight, out of mind did wonders for you and you were usually busy enough that she only crossed your mind once or twice a week when the student population was buzzing about a recent game. But now? Now you’re fucked. You’re inches away from her and you’ve allowed her to pull you back into her orbit. She’s the Earth and you’re a meteor – any closer and you won’t be able to come back from the damage you would do to each other. She would survive, you’re sure, but you’d be destroyed in the process.

“So,” she says slowly. You avert your eyes, staring at anything but her. “How you been?”

“Good,” you lie. “Keeping busy.” That part was less of a lie, but it wasn’t her business to know.

Paige has always been good at reading you, so she gazes at you like she’s not convinced. “I think we’re overdue a conversation,” she says, surprising you. “A real one. No more of this running in circles bullshit.”

“Okay,” you agree hesitantly. You finally meet her eyes. They’re strikingly blue, disarming, and you feel an odd mixture of guilt and longing eat away at your insides. She looks like she’s drinking you in, like she’s trying to understand why you did what you did; her eyes soften in the dim glow of the porchlight and you can’t help but flush under her gaze. She always understands you in spite of how often you push her away – she seems to understand why you keep her at arm’s length, too, and it’s then that you fully understand how overwhelming it is to be known.

“Why did you leave?” she asks finally. You have to swallow back the bile in your throat. “The morning after.” Her clarification does nothing to soothe the turmoil in your stomach. “I thought…” Paige’s throat bobs as she tries to find the words. “It wasn’t a hook up. It meant something to me – everything to me. So why did you leave like that shit ain’t matter to you?”

That night in February comes back to you in the blur of a memory. You’ve thought about it so often that you could write a play-by-play of it; every single unremarkable detail comes back to you in a flourish of vibrant color – the way the floor felt beneath your feet as Paige guided you into her room, the slight scratch of her nail against the base of your neck as her hands found purchase in your hair. Paige was wrong. It meant something to you, too much to you. You often remind yourself, if it meant that much, why was it easier to run away? Jumping off of a diving board into a pool conceptually means the same thing as jumping off of a cliffside into beach waves; the jump isn’t the hard part, it’s the reminder of the distance between your feet and the surface. Your feelings for Paige are too consuming. It’s easier to not make the jump at all than it is to worry if you’ll be able to come up for air.

She was in high spirits, drunk off of their win against Villanova. They weren’t an opponent you’d typically call home for, but the Huskies were having a tough season with several injured players and a lot of underclassmen. It was close, 67-46; Paige had contributed to a little less than half of their points overall with a solid 31. She was happy, the rest of her team was happy, and she’d begged you to come over to her apartment for the post-game festivities – which was usually games and snacks as they weren’t big on drinking during the season. You’d nearly refused at first. It was supposed to be a small team get-together and you had some work to catch up on. You eventually gave in, like you always do. Paige had flashed her typical, charming smile, looping an arm around your waist, and you were a goner.

The team accepted you like you were one of their own, too. That was new. You didn’t spend as much time with them as you did with Jos and Chelsea, but it felt like you knew them better than you knew Jos and Chelsea, anyway. Ice and KK were two menacing peas in a pod – they were like sisters separated at birth and whenever they were together, something chaotic was bound to happen, but they loved and protected fiercely despite the way they teased each other and the team. Caroline was like the team mother and many of the girls called her such. Nika was intense on the court, but off of it, she was Paige’s twin through and through – they always had something to say to each other and their banter often brought smiles to everyone’s faces. Azzi was sweet and well-loved by the team (and the student population in general). She introduced you to her and Paige’s son Ines, which confused you at first, but Paige threw her arm over your shoulder and assured you that they’re only co-parenting because Carol has enough children and they didn’t want Ines to be a ward of the court. You couldn’t help but smile at that, leaning into Paige – something about the team’s dynamic healed you a little, and Ines joked that Paige went out and got her a stepmom.

You felt the blush creep up your neck as Paige tightened her grip around you slightly. “I didn’t want you to find out like this, son,” Paige had said somberly, pretending to look sad as Azzi rolled her eyes. “Your mother was havin’ an affair–”

“Oh, bullshit!” Azzi cried. The entire room broke out into fits of giggles.

“Now I understand why Paige wifed up a lawyer,” KK said in between laughter. “Tryna get a discount on that divorce, huh?”

The team had tears in their eyes from their excitement – you didn’t have the heart to tell them you were hoping to specialize in civil litigation, so you just laughed along. The conversation continued to flow as games were played. Nika was exceptionally bad at UNO and Paige never let her hear the end of it. You guys only managed to play a couple of rounds before Nika suddenly got good and played a +4, prompting Ice and KK to stack +4s of their own onto it – Paige stared in disbelief for a solid thirty seconds before picking up 12 cards and rage-quitting one turn later when KK skipped her.

“There, there,” you’d said, lips trembling as you tried not to laugh at the look on Paige’s face. You rubbed her shoulder comfortingly, and she pushed you off her gently, her own lips quirking in amusement. “Show this card game who’s boss.”

“Bro,” she grumbled, but she couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she leaned back into the couch, her arm finding home over the back of your shoulders once more. You remember wondering if this is what normal felt like, what finally finding a community was like – you fit in too well with Paige’s teammates and they made you feel at home. Being near Paige made you feel at home. She was talented that way. She had an uncanny ability to make people feel at ease, regaling them with jokes and an endless supply of charm. When you realized you were in love with Paige Bueckers, you weren’t surprised about it. If anything, you might have been a little upset with yourself – you were sure you weren’t the only person she’d drawn in unintentionally, ensnared in a web whose latticework was meticulously shaped like basketball netting.

As the night went on, more and more laughs were shared until the clock reached midnight and many of Paige’s teammates got up to leave. Everyone shared hugs and affectionate goodnights. All of them even looped around to hug you – which was… nice. Paige shared her apartment with Azzi and Aubrey, so they retired to their own rooms after curious glances to you and Paige, still curled up together on the couch.

The apartment was quiet. You could hear the ring of silence as it enveloped the two of you, Paige’s gentle breathing, and the tick of the clock. It was oddly comforting; normally, it would have lulled you into a drowsy state, but you couldn’t focus on anything but the heat of Paige’s body next to yours, the brush of her thumb against your shoulder. Feeling both unmoored and tethered, you shift next to Paige, gathering her attention. “I should go,” you’d whispered. Her thumb halted.

“Stay,” she requested. She tilted her head. Her gaze met yours. You expected her eyes to be half-closed, dim with sleep. The rasp of her voice was attributed to a tone you knew she’d adopt when she was exhausted, but her eyes were wide, alert, dilated, a blue so dark you were sure you almost mistook the sheer want for something else. “Stay,” she murmured again. “Please.”

“Yeah,” you agreed almost breathlessly, feeling her hand squeeze your shoulder gently. “Sure.” She untangles from you and stands from the couch, offering you her hand, and you take it. She led you seamlessly through the dark of her apartment into her bedroom, where she released you long enough to rifle through her drawers, having found you a pair of shorts and an old t-shirt for you to wear to bed. Paige pointed you towards the bathroom. You changed into her clothes. Your fingers had shook with anticipation at the sheer domesticity of it all as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. Your – her – t-shirt read HOPKINS GIRLS BASKETBALL. It had all felt so different now. You hadn’t been sure at the moment if it terrified you or excited you.

You exited the bathroom to find Paige’s back to you, adjusting the band of a pair of basketball shorts around her hips. Her hair was out of her bun and it cascaded down her back in loose, wavy strands; you’d felt an inexplicable urge to run your fingers through it, to find out if her hair was as soft as it looked. She was wearing a dark black sports bra. The two of you were friends. Granted, you were in love with her, but the sight of her wearing nothing but ball shorts and her Nike bra shouldn’t have done the things it did to you.

“Which side is yours?” you’d asked, mostly to break the silence. You ignored the crack in your voice. Paige paid it no mind as she turned, which forced you to avert your eyes, trying not to glance at her abdominals.

“Don’t matter,” she responded. You watched the way she moved, sitting low on the bed, legs long and stark against the purple of her comfort. “You gettin’ in or what?” You hoped she couldn’t see the flush on your neck. You slid into bed next to her, hoping to maintain some sort of distance, but she refused to let you get too far. She slung her arm over your waist, fingers brushing against your skin where your shirt rode up. Her breath was even against your neck and the heat of her body nearly turned your brain into mush. “This okay?” she asked, tone softer.

“Mhm,” you hummed, afraid to speak or you might fuck up and tell her just how okay it actually was. Paige was just a touchy person, you tried to remind yourself as you felt the tickle of her hair against the nape of your neck. This doesn’t mean anything to her. It was all for naught. It did little to quell the way your heart raced, the way the heat pooled low in your belly.

“You looked good tonight,” she said casually. You tried to stop the goosebumps as they rose on your flesh. “You always do.”

Unable to think of something smart to say, you shifted your body slightly, your fingers splaying over the arm she held tight around your midsection. “Oh, yeah?” Her fingers brushed a little lower on your stomach, grazing the waistband of your shorts.

She hummed an affirmative, pulling you tighter against herself, and you could barely breathe. It was overwhelming in the best way – she was all around you. Physically, you felt as though you were in her skin as she greedily pulled you in. The scent of her was everywhere; the shampoo that seeped into her pillows, the cologne on her neck. Your hair stood on end as her lips brushed almost imperceptibly against the shell of your ear. “‘M glad you came tonight,” she whispered.

You flipped on your side, face-to-face with Paige. Her arm moved enough for you to get situated and once you were, her hand found the small of your back, her palm warm against your skin. You can’t help the way your breath hitched, even as Paige’s eyes seemed to take in the stuttering rise and fall of your chest. Having found some courage, you poked her cheek, drawing her eyes back up to yours. “What are we doing?” you asked finally, feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. Her brow raised slightly, the dark blue of her gaze illuminated by the streaks of moonlight through her window. “No funny shit, Paige. You touch me like you want me, claim me in front of your friends.” You searched her eyes as she fell silent. “What are we doing?” you repeated, voice firmer.

“I want you,” she confessed after a few heartbeats of contemplation. She leaned in closer to you, your noses nearly brushing, and she continued, “I want you so fucking bad. Don’t wanna do anything you’ont want, but–”

Your lips were on hers before she had the chance to finish. She responded eagerly, one hand firm around your waist as she flipped the both of you over, pulling you to straddle her waist. You leaned down, your chest against hers, hands on each side of her neck. You felt the thundering of her pulse under your fingers. It was stabilizing in a sense – words were one thing, but to feel how badly you’d been able to affect her, too, did wonders for your growing ego. Paige’s hands had found your hips, keeping you pressed against her body.

You parted briefly to catch your breath. Paige’s chest heaved, her lips shiny and swollen. She was hard to look away from. For a moment, you’d wondered if this was worth it. Your heart had raced, beating uncontrollably; it felt like too much and not enough at the same time. Everything would change between the two of you. Was one night with Paige worth the risk of losing your friendship? You feel too strongly, too much, overwhelmingly. You’ve been told by an ex or two that you were simply too much. You wouldn’t want to subject Paige to that.

Her right hand met your face, tracing the line of your bottom lip. “You want this?” she asked. Her eyes were blown wide, more pupil than iris, but something about it entranced you. The desire in her eyes had brought fresh heat to your stomach, but coupled with the fact she’d be willing to stop made your heart beat a little faster. She was enough to quell your worries, settling the irregularity of your thoughts. You nodded, leaning down to connect your lips again, but her hand was insistent against your jaw as she held you back. “Words,” she commanded.

You’d barely resisted an eyeroll. “Yes, Paige,” you affirmed. Her hand loosened, eyes searching yours. “Want you.”

Her smile turned smug. “Yeah? How bad?”

The tease sent white-hot desire straight through your body as your hips rolled against hers, trying to find some relief. Her hands fall back down to your waist, helping you rut against her thigh as a shared flush creeped up both of your necks. “You gonna touch me?” you breathed against her lips. Her breath came out a disjointed stutter when you guided her hand to the swell of your ass. It was unnatural – Paige was so sure, so confident. To have her nearly at your mercy was like a drug through your veins, but you didn’t want her there. You wanted Paige fully in control; you wanted her to take care of you, to give you everything you’d fantasized about for months on end. You wanted her so bad it rewired the coding in your brain. There was something about her that broke down all of the walls you spent years building.

Your actions and words had been the only permission she needed. One of her hands gripped the flesh of your ass as the other one cupped the back of your neck. Her nail scratched you inadvertently as she dragged you back down to connect your lips – the slight echo of pain caused you to whine against her lips, a sound she swallowed greedily before she flipped the two of you over once more. Your head fell back against her pillows as she rucked up your shirt, finding that you’d opted to not wear a bra. She groaned indulgently, one large hand coming up to squeeze one of your breasts and her mouth finding the other one.

You ran your fingers through her hair, gripping it tight as she lavished you with attention. “So fuckin’ pretty,” she murmured against you, voice dripping with want. She pressed her knee against your core as she found her way back to your lips, kissing you deeply and drawing another whimper from your parted lips. It sent a jolt through your body. “You gon’ let me do what I want, huh? Get you right?”

“Paige, please,” you begged, all of the shame having left your body as you ground down against her knee, feeling the pleasure and relief simultaneously. “Fuck, do what you want, I don’t care – just please fucking touch me.”

She shushed you, lips back on yours, tongue brushing against your lips like she was trying to take whatever you’d give her. And at that point, you would have given her anything if it meant she’d stop teasing you. “I got you, ma, jus’ relax,” she whispered against your lips. She trailed a blazing path down your chest, leaving hickies as she went. Paige reached the waistband of your shorts; she pressed a sloppy kiss to your navel before bunching her fingers in and pulling them off, throwing them haphazardly into the room.

The air was cold against you. You were breathing heavily by then, eyes squeezed shut in anticipation. Her hand untwisted yours from the bedsheets, linking your fingers together, and that touch alone was enough to bring you back down to earth. “I got you,” she promised again, reminding you, pressing diligent kisses against the inside of your thigh. You relaxed ever so slightly against her, feeling as though you could breathe a little easier, but your body was still incredibly high strung. Paige squeezed your hand. Then her mouth was on you, and you were done for.

She held your hand as she went down on you, talking you through it until your orgasm reached its peak and you sunk into the bed bonelessly. She didn’t release you when she came back up, her smile a mix of smugness, pride, and quiet adoration. Paige kissed your knuckles, your cheeks, your lips, drawing a contented sigh out of you. “You good?” she asked, brushing your hair out of your eyes, hand cradling your jaw.

Exhausted, all you could do was hum an affirmative. Paige flashed a small smile again, pressing a kiss to your forehead and crawling off the bed, much to your surprise. “Lemme get you some water,” she said. “‘M coming right back, I promise.”

You nodded wordlessly, closing your eyes and sinking back into the pillows as your breathing evens out. She left her room, the door shutting with a silent click. In the silence of Paige’s bedroom, curled up in her purple comforter, all you can think about is how the future of your friendship has inexplicably changed forever. She said she wanted you. Did she just mean sexually? Paige was always intentional in her communication, a byproduct of her media training. Tears brimmed your eyes when you considered the idea that you might have just been another Wednesday night fling for her. Here you are again, feeling stupid about the overwhelming feelings you harbored for Paige despite your better judgment. The worst part was that it wasn’t her fault. You got your hopes up.

You wiped your eyes when you heard the door open again. Paige crossed the room, cracking open a cold bottle of water for you and pressing it to your lips. You nearly forgot about your inner turmoil when she smiled at you again, having thrown her hair back up into its bun. “Gonna clean you up, okay?” she informed you. At your nod, she runs a warm washcloth between your thighs, getting rid of the lingering stickiness. She carefully redressed you, squeezing your hips gently, and you’re left feeling so incredibly conflicted that you’re breathless with the anxiety. Paige disposed of the washcloth and curled up next to you in bed once more, an arm wrapping around your midsection. You’d told each other goodnight, but as her breath evens out against your neck, your mind races.

You slept fitfully through the night. And when morning light rolled around, you extracted yourself from Paige’s grip, sliding a pillow into her arms. The nervousness and all of your overthinking thoughts made you queasy with grief. You were in love with Paige Bueckers. That much was true. You were too head over heels for her to return to normalcy; you couldn’t. At that point, it would be easier for you to not be friends with her at all than to pretend like she wasn’t everything you’d ever wanted.

As she slept, you casted one last guilty look over your shoulder and you ran.

But that night in February has long since passed, and on the porch swing on a much warmer night in April, Paige stares at you in desperation, seeking answers to the questions you’ve withheld for over a month. “Why did you leave?” she asks you again. “Fuck, tell me the truth, lie to me, whatever, just please give me something to work with.”

“It was overwhelming,” you finally admit, twisting the rings on your fingers. You feel terrible as you glance at Paige, whose eyes soften when she takes in your expression.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I shoulda seen that something was wrong.”

You close your eyes, lips trembling. You’re touched at how she instantly takes responsibility for your fuck ups, thinking she’s done something wrong. “No, Paige,” you correct her. “Fuck. It wasn’t you. It was never you.” You pick at a loose string on your shorts. She stares at you, waiting for you to continue. “You were so gentle. That night meant everything to me, and that was the problem. I wanted you so bad – Jesus Christ, I was in love with you for months. I don’t do casual. I always feel too strongly and I loved you so much that it was fucking overwhelming. I woke up and nearly lost it because I couldn’t handle the idea of having you like that and having to pretend like I didn’t want you like that forever. It was so much easier to run and not face the possibility of having to be your friend when all I’ve wanted was more.”

When you finally look back to Paige, her eyes are wide with something that looks strangely like grief, like you’ve pulled the rug from under her feet and watched as she fell. As you think about it, that’s probably what you’ve done, anyway. She spent so long thinking that your fallout was her fault, that it was something she’d done, but the ugly truth of the matter was that you were too scared of the way you felt for her that you ran from it instead. Paige runs a frustrated hand over her jaw, her expression nearly unreadable. You frown. “I’m sorry,” you say quietly, knowing that your apology is long overdue. You fucked up so incredibly bad with her. Your brain remembers her prior words, the ‘It wasn’t a hook up. It meant something to me – everything to me,’ and you suddenly feel like an idiot. God, it was mutual this entire time and you were too caught up in yourself to realize it.

“You think too fucking much,” Paige says finally, and you hardly have the time to react before she’s kissing you, her hands gripping your hips. You nearly gasp against her lips before you fully register what’s happening. Sinking into it, you wrap your arms around her neck, feeling suddenly like everything is finally aligning, that all of your blurred focal points sharpen. When she pulls away, her eyes are alight with understanding. “So, lemme get this straight. You pushed me away ‘cause you’re in love with me, then we fucked, and you thought I wouldn’t wife you up?”

You frown, feeling stupid all over again. “Well, when you put it like that…yeah?”

Paige sighs. “Fuck. Look at my lawyer – you’d send dudes to jail left and fucking right ‘cause you jump to conclusions too early. Thank God you’re not going into criminal defense.”

You shove her away from you, feeling the embarrassment bloom on your cheeks. You can’t help but laugh as you say, “You’re an asshole.”

She guffaws, reaching for your hands, intertwining your fingers. “Says you! You ghosted me for a month and let me think I fucked us up. Jesus Christ.” She twists the ring on your finger mindlessly as she searches for the right words. “Okay, lemme be really fucking clear. I’m in love with you, too. Like, I’m fuckin’ crazy about you. There is nobody but you. You aren’t too much for me – I love you for you, no ifs, ands, buts, whys, hows, nothing. I know you thought you were protecting us by pushin’ me away, but you gotta let me make that choice, too. I want this with you, alright? Will you gimme that chance?”

Her words leave the two of you in silence. You can still hear the chirp of the crickets, the thrumming from the party indoors. You can feel the way her thumb brushes over your knuckles, the way her eyes bore into yours, patiently waiting for your decision. But distinctly, you can see the plea, the desperation for you to just give into what she knows the both of you are feeling. Your anxiety and constant overthinking never ruined the two of you. It may have set you back, but you and Paige found your way back to each other. Maybe you’re not a meteor, dangerously crashing into her and disintegrating on impact. Maybe the two of you are something simpler – the moon and the tide. She was never going to let you get hurt if only you’d give her the opportunity to show you that.

So, you take that leap – whether it’s off the diving board into the pool or the cliffside into beach waves, you don’t care. You know now that Paige is waiting for you at the surface. “I want this, too,” you affirm, watching the smile bloom on her face like springtime flowers, and you seal the deal by pressing your lips to hers. She responds eagerly, her arms tight around you. You loathe that it took the two of you this long, that it was your fault for not trusting Paige with your heart when she’s given you no real reason to doubt her; despite this, her lips taste like forgiveness and yours like atonement. In spite of everything, you made it here in the end, and it was worth it.

[epersonae]

I wrote this originally as a reblog of something else, but after letting it sit in drafts for a while realized it needed to be its own thing. (but do go read that post, it was what got me thinking in this specific direction) I have not edited it much, other than to remove some intro about the kind of shitty day(s) I was having in my non-online life that were part of why I wrote something and then sat on it.

I have been thinking about

Don't like, don't read

(I saw this with rainbow text, and I asked how the fuck to do that, and frankly I don't have that level of patience, so just imagine it rainbow I guess)

And..........

Sure? We're all just here to have a good time or whatever, and Just Like Stuff, and it's exhausting being a hater (but also [stares at people I know who I've seen say all that and who are also ABSOLUTELY haters in private])

But I want something more nuanced than that. I mean that as both:

a writer of things I know other people have taken issue with (including, I remembered today, something that I heard secondhand about, in addition to the vagueblogging I've mentioned in an earlier post about my older fic)

and a reader/art appreciator who has some issues with things I've tried to read and art I've seen.

I don't what it is or how it works or how to get from here to there. I don't even really know how to do this with people I'm close to! (with the exception of having been a thoroughly obnoxious beta constantly saying "make me believe this could even happen", or pointing out conflicts with canon or whatever) I tend to silently nope out and then change my opinion of the person without ever telling them, because yeah, I'm horrifically conflict averse.

Which is why this might sit in my drafts for a long time.

And then, outside of friendships, and Difficult Conversations or whatever

I don't like pile-ons. I don't like a couple of people trying to articulate what bugs them about a piece of writing, and maybe being awkward or clumsy about it, and immediately getting drowned out by "you're being mean to my friends". (and I say that as someone who has had friends' writing receive this sort of critique! Multiple friends!) Maybe the immediate answer is, yes, the back button, but it has to be possible to dissect what's bothering you about a piece of writing (or a trope, or a ship) without it being negativity or an attack.

Here, I'll go first, because these are two things in OFMD fic that bug me endlessly, that writers I like have written, and I think they exhibit a subversion of the source material that is counter to the actual themes of the show.

Note: since I wrote all of this, I have written a little bit about my sort of complicated feelings about a fic that imho is an original novel in a trenchcoat, a sort of fic lacroix despite being very good. these examples are in the same vein as that.

Inevitable fucking disclaimer: I don't think people are wrong or bad for doing these things, I'm not going to try to make anybody stop, I practice don't like don't read (and I have some exceptions that I've enjoyed despite it being something I don't like generally)

Enemies to lovers: the whole point of Ed and Stede is that they click perfectly and immediately. They like each other! From the very first minute it's friendship and mutual admiration and delight and attraction. Enemies to lovers is a cliche that belongs to a different story entirely. I wish people would think more before jumping to that trope. (I've had an AU in my head for months that I absolutely cannot write until I solve this problem from the AU's source material) It's an interesting question to me, actually, why it seems to be so easy to write characters who don't like each other and then somehow fall in love, when the source material shows them liking each other SO MUCH right away.

Younger than middle aged: again, the whole point is that they are changing their lives, that their midlife crises brings them to the point where they can find love. I think it's a djenks Themes and Motifs thing, to have a story about getting to this point in your life and really looking at it and going "am I where I need to be?" Also it's incredibly unique and special to me after the last few years of my own rolling midlife crisis. (petty thought that I have sometimes: it is a failure of imagination about or knowledge of actual middle-aged people) Tbh, this goes double for age difference, I will nope out of that even faster than both of them being young.

And I think there's something about being able to not like something and still not be a dick about it, to know enough about what you do like to look at something and say "this doesn't work for me and here's why", to engage thoughtfully and critically (and yeah occasionally in public) while still having respect for the other person.

I am thinking also of @emi--rose and @frommybookbook and music, and their efforts to find kpop and Taylor Swift, respectively, that I might enjoy, because I don't like most of either, and I think this thing we've been doing is helping all three of us understand more about what we all do and don't like.

[pausing to think]

It occurs to me, also, that I spent a lot of time griping while editing for the benefit of all the broken hearts, about having to go back and do a lot of set up/rewriting to make some of what happens in that read plausibly. And I was soooooo bitchy about it and also that critique was all correct and it made the story stronger even aside from making it more "canonical", whatever the fuck that means in that particular setting.

And that was in the particular creative intimacy setting of working with a beta, which is different, admittedly, from random critique on the open internet.

But then I spent a while, back in the day, immersed in the TAZ questions of "is Lucretia a lesbian?" and "can Magnus ever love again?" and I wrote my rarepair (and associated polycule shipping) very much from my id, and a certain amount of "you can't tell me that didn't happen" that was based on overidentification and personal experience, but there were definitely people who were pretty publicly "ew" about it, and I had to think through my position, and both decide what felt true about and also decide to write from my weird heart, but not blindly.

Idk, I've written all of this and I'm just landing on

I think introspection is nice.

I think it's good to do, I think it's worth thinking about what you like and don't like, and maybe where that comes from, and not in a puriteen way but with sincerity and curiosity. I would like to support and encourage that spirit of artistic introspection.

[lifeexperience]

We are vengeance.

It has been almost three month since Lila Rossi came back from her fabulous trip from Achu. And since she arrived again she enjoyed the glamour. Enjoyed how everybody - who was someone, of course, - danced as she moved her strings. Even that Capitano della Moralità, Adrien was doing what she was saying.  

Just lonely, little Marinette stood on the other side.

The Italian grinned confidently. If she had some plan like that day, she was going to ruin that little girl.

Anyway she had to take prioritization of her tasks. Firstly it’s time to make a Wikipedia page about herself for future reference. She couldn’t be sloppy from here because she could meet more forceful people than Dupain-Cheng.  

Okay, so she would list her accomplishments: modeling with Adrien Agreste      , best friend with Shaytan, knowing Jagged Stone… When she finally finished, the sun already went down and it was dark. Lila disinterestedly looked at her door, his mother again worked overtime.  

Nevermind, she would eat something then collect links of her publications. Yepp, after some pasta all'Ortolana the work would be so much easier.  

However when she went back to gather her online mentions she didn’t find anything. There was nothing about her on the Ladyblog, or on Adrien’s Instagram. Someone deleted them? Who? Maybe it’s just a bug? She would know more if she asks Alya first.

Yeah, don’t need any panic.

“Ciao Alya! I have a question.” she said immediately as that wannabe journalist answered. “Yeah, yeah, così accidentally you didn’t delete my interview from your blog, right?” She nervously patted her laptop as she waited for Alya to look at it. After two minutes there was the answer. She tried to disguise her anger, but she didn’t have the patient at the moment for that stupid girl apologizes.  

So somehow her interview was lost. And she didn’t have to call Capitano della Moralità about their model photo, she knew he didn’t have too much control on it.  

Lila unconsciously started to chew her nails. It was a bad habit of hers since her childhood.  

Who had enough knowledge to hack two different websites to mess with her? Marinette was too morally high for this. And Max, who had the skill, was already under her thumb.  

“Argh!”  

She had to calm down. She couldn’t become an akume because of this since she planned a bigger performance for the next week.

Breath! In! Out!

Okay.

Maybe tomorrow she could make a new interview with Alya and drop some seemingly accident infos about the new adult heroes. Then at the weekend photoshoots she could force Adrien again.

Yeah. Why was she nervous at all? She could use this to grow her territory.

*

It has been almost six days since Adrien reluctantly posted a new photo about the two of them. There were fewer likes and more comments then before, but she was happy because she could continue to build her Wikipedia page. It would be her first thing when she got home.  

And tomorrow she would start her small shame with poor Marinette again. The little girl already was alone most of the time in the school, but Lila knew it was a matter of time to find new friends outside of their class. And she wanted to prevent every attempt of it.

I am great at ruining others.    

She smiled sweetly as she pretended to listen to another rabbling from Rose. That pink fool rarely shut up about her disgusting viewpoint, and Lila sometimes thought she would be a perfect next target after Dupain-Cheng. And if this little pink wannabe would be destroyed, her loser girlfriend would fall with her.  

Yepp, she will be an excellent following after the shit show Marinette will go through.

“Lila, it’s not your phone?” Alix poked her. She turned to her in confusion and listened to the ringing.

“No.” she shook her head. “My ringtone is different. I don’t like metal music.”

The skater tilted her head. “You sure?” Lila nodded, starting to be annoyed. “Because it’s coming from your bag.”

“What?”

She hurriedly got her phone out, and indeed it was ringing with that strange growl music. And the number also was foreign, yet she picked up. “Hello?”

“It’s Lila Lucrezia Rossi?” Everybody in the classroom jumped at once.The voice from the other side was much louder than she thought and now every one of her classmates watched her with wide eyes. She fastly tried to turn down the volume as she answered in agreement. “So your appointment was moved to the next with Doctor Lacroix.”

“Wha...What appointment?” Lila asked. She didn’t remember any medical thing. Of course she told a lot of tails about her health problems, but she was completely healthy.

“So for the farting irritation.” The woman said with a monotone tone. And of course, because Lila couldn’t turn off the speaker everybody in the room heard it.

She blinked.

“I… I think you… you called the wrong number.” she muttered as now she tried to end the call. With no success.  

“But you're Lila Lucrezia Rossi, age fourteen, Italian, aren’t you?” Lila looked around embarrassingly. How did that woman know that about her? If… If she denies it her little puppets' trust would crack. But if she continues this conversation… She didn’t even want to know.

And as she stood there in panic and listened about her supposed condition she wanted to be killed. Every fucking eye was on her. She even saw that goodie-two-shoe tried to hide her giggle with Adrien grinning next to her. And of course she noticed how her circle slid away from her.

Fuck.    

*

She skipped two weeks of school again after that… THAT phone call. Of fucking course almost every one of her classmates called her almost daily to ask about her health. And she had to answer with a lot of information for Every Fucking QUESTION.

It was irritating.  

However she couldn’t stay at home for more days because her mother. It would be too suspicious if there would be some supposed akuma without any TV gossip about it.  

So she had to go to school.  

Fortunately most of the kids were understanding and didn’t bring up the topic. But there was  Kim. Of FUCKING course.

As many times as he saw her he faked a fart with a disgustingly loud moan. She tried to cry about it, though everybody said to bear with it. Kim was just Kim and if she didn’t react he would let it go.  

At first Lila didn’t want to believe it then Alya patted her shoulder sympathetically and left her to stand alone. And because of these really annoying events she couldn’t start her plan with Dupain-Cheng who - of fucking couse - got closer to Adrien. To her key to the famous-rich-carefree life.  

They were chatting cheerfully in the classroom without any glance at someone other than each. They were in their little world, and every girl in the class blissfully sighed at the sight.

And if that day was not enough of a bother to her somehow her school tablet started streaming porno when she tried to project out her presentation. She was mortified just like everybody in the classroom. And she didn’t even have luck with teachers. Because of - fucking - course that lesson was with Mendeleiev.

*

It was already December when she finally served her detention time because of that… THAT incident. She couldn’t go any photoshoot with Adrien due to her attendance problem.  

She didn’t even see Batman, yeah THAT Batman when he saved Shaytan and Chat Noir. She was at a detention with others. Although she could tell Alya a little story about her knowing the American hero and how he called him to help Paris.  

However she only had ten minutes to bask the light because her mamma called her home. Immediately. At first Lila found it strange, but she shook the confusion down. She said goodbye to the wannabe journalist and went home. She blissfully entered the elevator then with a big smile greeted her mother.  

“Lila!” her mother nodded sternly. The woman waited as she - not so happily anymore, dropped her things in her room. “Why did you use your emergency money?”

Lila furrowed her eyebrows. “But I didn’t.”

“No?” her mamma asked.

She shook her head. She didn’t use her emergency card because her mother could check it anytime. That’s why she asked her payment in cash from Gabriel.

“Then tell me mia figlia, why your debit card is in the minus?” Her mamma held a tablet with an account statement in front of Lila. She slowly read over the document. And indeed, her debit card which was only for emergencies was in minus. The description list showed a lot purchasing from different sites that she didn’t even know.  

“I didn’t do this.” she said franctincly.  

“No?” her mother glanced at the numbers. “You know how much money it was? We kept it for your university years.”

“We?” Lila whispered as she became aware of the gravity of the situation.

“Yes. Your father was the one who drew my attention to it.”  

At first Lila only just gaped then she felt how her blood started circulating. Of fucking course that bastard was the one who spying after her.  

“You are a grounded signorina!” she heard her mother voice through her anger. “After the school ends you have to come home then do your homework. I take your phone and electronics too.”

She didn’t even have time to protest as she saw a dark butterfly. She quietly waited as that insect landed on her phone. “How unfair to blame something on others when she is not at fault.” She heard the well-known tone. “Finanza I’m giving you the power to punish everyone who sinned against you. Your only task to bring to me their Miraculous.”

“Of fucking course.”

*

She was defeated again. But one day she would destroy the fame of Shaytan. That girl would taste the fall and humiliation.  

“LILA!” A loud yell cut her from her plans as she sat at the ground. “Lila!” Someone shook her. She looked up to meet Alya irritating face. “Are you okay?”

She blinked some to win some precious moment to calm down. Then she nodded with a fake whimpering. “What happened? You shouted about some money then forced everyone to admit their sins.”

“Oh… I… I didn’t want to hurt anyone.” she sobbed while she tried to hide her dry eyes.

“It’s okay.” Alya hugged her. “Can you stand up?”

She shakely raised on her foot. They silently walked along the pavement for some time when she finally looked around. They were not far away from the school. And of course it meant they were near to the Dupain-Cheng's bakery.

At first Lila didn’t even notice the bakery, then she heard a shocked gasp from next to her. Alya with wide eyes pointed forward. She also turned the direction and her jaw also dropped. There stood Marinette, little innocent Marinette, embracing a tall, muscular man. After some moments they let go of each other and with a big smile Marinette got in the car with the stranger.  

“What… Who was he?”

*

Next day Lila wasn’t able to forget that stranger with the baker girl. He was gorgeous, but most important, older than them and a little dark. Plus he was clearly an adult. Alya tried to claim he was surely a cousin of Marinette, however Lila wasn’t that certain about it. They didn’t look alike. And if she remembered correctly Alya never told about any relatives of Marinette except her great-uncle chef and grandparents. Nobody else.

“Hm.” If she could twist it somehow then she would be on advantage again. But how? Alya was adamant about the family thing, but what if… Perhaps some well aimed stab about gang members. Perhaps.

Although she needed to conceal her mirth as she eyed her classmates. They all stood at the bottom of the stairs and were themselves like stupid sheeps they are. Lila forced a shy smile on herself and carefully stepped between them to tell a new tale about her time in China. And of fucking course it was not a coincidence, she knew well if she use any rather distinct - nevertheless linked to Marinette, - facts then Dupain-Cheng was much easier to upset.

However that stupid girl didn’t bother to pay any attention to her. She just stood beside Adrien and chatted happily with him.

Lila frowned.  

“There is a problem?” someone poked her shoulder. It was Mylene.

“No… No.” her smile was strained. “I just… Why are Marinette and Adrien avoiding us?”

And everybody simultaneously turned their way. The two blissfully laughed at something as they ignored everything else.  

“How sweet!” she heard Rose’s murmurs. Yeah, like pineapple on pizza. Bhrr.

She started to open her mouth to say something though she wasn’t able to voice any sound. A darker than black and really long limousine parked in front of them. It was not Adrien’s one, neither Chloé’s.  

And the most surprising thing was Marinette jumping up and down for the sight.  

All of them including Lila watched as their class president pulled Adrien to the car and after some debate with the driver they got in the car.  

What did she just watch?

“Oh!” It was not a shocked ‘Oh!’, it was a ‘I realized what was happening’. And Lila also wanted to know what the fuck happened before her beautifull eyes.

“You know something, Nino?” She really tried to conceal her angry curiosity.  

The DJ nodded with a relaxing smile. “Marinette’s family visiting from America.”

“You mean she has relatives in America?” Alya asked, more interested than a few minutes ago when she listened to Lila’s gossip.

“Oh, hell!” Kim shouted. “The brothers, right? I almost forgot about them.”

Alya tilted her head as he turned to the swimmer. “Brothers?”

“Yeah.” Nino talked again. “Dick and Jay, and Timtam… and… Who was the one who pissed Chloé off?”

“Some Da… De… Demon!”

“No. His name was…”

Lila tuned out the conversation. So Marinette had a family in the States. And they most certainly rich drawing that conclusion from the limo. Why didn’t she do better research before she transferred?

*

In the middle of the week was the career day and Lila was really lucky to talk her mamman down about coming to it. Of course she didn’t want her here. It would be a disaster.

She had a quite good feeling about the day. If she heard correctly only a few parents agreed to participate and after the school for the day would end. And naturally she kinda forgot this particular information when she told her mother about this ‘really awful’ day.

Yep, I am a genius.

She confidently walked through the hallways and winked at some cute boy because not only Adrien was appreciable in this school. Maybe if Monsieur Agreste would appear she could negotiate for a new line just for herself. After all she always paid attention to his handsome boy.

Humming the newest XY’s song Lila happily stepped in the classroom. However her mood dropped exactly that moment when her foot touched the room’s floor. Since there, in the middle of the room stood with her fake innocent Marinette and that gorgeous foreign man. And from closer he was more handsome than she first thought. Even Madam Bustier blushed and she had a husband.

Why has this girl this kind of luck?    

Lila forced a charming smile on her face and with a friendly wave she sat down. She would not risk her status in front of that man when Marinette is nearby. She had to calculate carefully so for the time she just waited for the start.

When everybody arrived the teacher began her really boring speech about the importance of work knowledge and connections. Lot of the guests nodded in agreement. There was Rose’s mother who was a florist, Nino’s father was a doctor and Alix’s historian father. And of course Marinette’s mysterious man.

She was really curious about him. He wore a perfectly fitted suit and was fucking handsome, nevertheless he looked young. Maybe twentish. It’s maximum six year age difference between them. It’s not too bad.

She patiently waited as every one of the guardians did their presentation when finally the man stepped forward.  

“Before I introduce myself I would like to clear something up.” His voice was a pleasant baritone. Even Adrien didn’t have that kind of sexy voice. Lila already enjoyed the show.

“I would like to ask everyone present to turn off the phones, tablets and any other smart device.”

Lila indifferently watched as everyone reluctantly got their device and turned them off. She didn’t get back hers since her mother grounded her. How lucky, she grimaced.

“In the next step please read through the confidentiality agreement that Marinette hands out. If you don’t want to partake in it or don’t agree to the terms I have to ask you to leave the room.” he continued as the baker girl gave everyone a copy.  

As Lila looked around some of her classmates without thinking signed it up. And surprisingly it was Chloé and Adrien who handed back among the first. She also saw how after that some other looked at their paper with more bravery and signed it. She didn’t even bother to read it, just scan the logo at the top and the stamp at the bottom. She didn’t know this company so she also wrote her name on and handed it back.

Nobody left the room.

“Thank you, and I am apologizing for that little inconvenience, but this is necessary in today’s competitive sphere.” he said as he and Marinette counted and rechecked every one of the papers.  

After a few minutes they finished. “Since today we also published an article it’s not that big of a harm if I introduce myself.” he smiled a little at Marinette and pulled her next to him. “My name is Damian Wayne and I am one of Marinette’s siblings.”

Lila straightened. She heard it right?

“I work at the Wayne Enterprise as a co-CEO beside my brother Timothy Drake-Wayne.”

It can’t be!    

“After our Father decided he would like to spend more time with his family, I took over his position. Some of my...”

How the fucking hell?    

Lila kind of lost herself and didn’t hear anything other than the slowly repeating ‘Wayne’ echo. That rascal was a Wayne heir?

And Lila targeted her?

Oh fuck.    

*

It was Friday when Lila finally understood Marinette’s real power. It was never her connection or her skills. Not even her so-called friends.  

No.  

It was her family.

She of course knew about the Waynes. Who not? They were celebrities, start managers, philanthropists, fucking Gods. And of fucking course every one of the students also knew about them. So for the next couple of days went by like a couple of seconds. One moment she was the center of the attention then suddenly everybody wanted to be friends with Marinette.

Everybody.  

Even the fucking street-sweeper.

And of course there was the media attention. The police had to be called because of the sensation. Lila even saw how two journalists quarreled about which one hid in one the bushes in front of the school.  

Naturally she wanted to take advantage of the situation, however as the article with her name was published her mother’s phone started ringing. And the caller was Lila's worst nightmare.  

On Friday she and her mamman head to the Wayne Enterprise’s Parisian branch. It was a modern building with clear glass windows and a big dark gold W letter. They were hurriedly ushering in an empty meeting room where there were too many chairs for Lila’s liking.  

Her mother - of course, - was enraged. She almost learnt everything about Lila’s school life. Just almost. Unfortunately it was enough to lose her trust in her daughter. Lila was grounded kind of permanently. She wouldn’t get back her phone kind of ever. She only could use her mother’s computer and just for homework. She was not expelled from Francois-Dupont, however she had detention for a year and had to repeat this school year.  

And now she would learn what the Waynes cooked up for her.

She grimaced.  

“Good morning Madam Rossi and Mademoiselle Rossi.” greeted them Damian Wayne himself as he steeped in the room. He was followed by Marinette, her parents - or they were even her parents? Lila wasn’t able to read any article about the family ties. -, a petite Asian woman, then some other more business-like men and women. Surely the lawyers.

“I think you know why you are here.” Damian stated as he sat at the head of the table. Marinette went to his left side with her parents (?) and the petite woman sat down at his right side with the lawyers.  

“Yes.” Her mother nodded.  

“We would like to sue your daughter, Mademoiselle Lila Lucrezia Rossi, for breaking our confidentiality agreement. Furthermore ask a restraining order to prohibit her from approaching my little sister, Marinette Athanasia Al Ghul Wayne.” This man spoke with a really unconcerned voice that Lila almost thought he was not even interested in his sibling’s life.

“Yes.” Her mamman agreed without any protest.  

“However” his voice steeled, “because my sister is a really kind soul she will not sue for the physical violence, a mental and physical harassment and the defaming.” he stared down at her with dark eyes. “Nevertheless we, as from her guardians who are presented” he pointed to the stranger Asian woman and himself, “decided to put on the blacklist Mademoiselle Lila Lucrezia Rossi in every business in which we owned the majority.”

The air got stuck in Lila’s body. Every business? Every? The Waynes owned half of the planet.  

“But” spoke the petite woman, “we would ignore this blacklisting if the Mademoiselle successfully participates in various therapies.” She passes toward a paper. “It’s a list of some advised areas to search for good specialists. We don’t want to break a young child's career so we are ready to compromise.”  

Lila almost believed her then she glanced at the man. At first she thought this Damian Wayne was gorgeous. And indeed his look was perfect, however she didn’t meet more horrifying people than him. His eyes screamed for murder.

She turned back to her mother who kind of looked relieved. “We… I thank you.” she breathed.

After that were just formalities. Signing up that or this. Lila wanted to run home and curl up. And cry.  

She worked for her fame. She worked hard to destroy those lives in her way. She didn’t think she would meet someone who could destroy her with just a flick.

However the paper said otherwise.

Her fucking status said otherwise.

She didn’t remember a lot from the meeting after that. She barely registered when they arrived home. She almost didn’t hear her father's disappointed voice on the phone.

And Lila almost missed the little note on her desk. With a photo about herself as she moves to get an akuma.

We are the night. We are vengeance. We are a family.

[its-sixxers]

Video Game Questionnaire

Tagged by @slothssassin!

Tagging any of y’all hoes (or non hoes) who wanna talk about some got dang VIDYA GAEMS

Rules: Fill in your answers below and tag some buddies!

-Games-

First game you ever played: Pokemon Red on the OG game boy. Hell yeah.

Favorite game: Don’t make me do this. D: Probably a toss up between:�� Heroes of Might and Magic III, Knights of the Old Republic (1 and 2), Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines aaaand Fallout New Vegas.

Game you hated at first but now love: Darkest Dungeon! I found out my gameplay groove and now really really like it. I didn’t hate it before, just found it frustrating.

Game you used to love but now hate: I don’t really hate any game that I used to love (even World of Warcraft), but I can’t ever go back to the Mass Effect Trilogy for reasons that are probably obvious to anyone who’s played it. I got hurt too bad man. :(

actually just recalled and this is gonna be a SPICY opinion: FFXIV. I had a lot of fun with it but the RP scene drove me off really fast. WoW’s Moon Guard gets a lot of shit, but FFXIV was miles worse for general grossness. I don’t begrudge anyone who has fun with the game or RPs in it (there’s a lot of fun lore!) but I don’t have the energy for trying to sift through that amount of nightmare to find like the dozen cool people lol.

Game with the best group/companion(s): This was a hard one. There’s games that have my favorite characters ever but also have some really annoying companions, there’s games with characters I like across the board but the execution is weak. I’m just going to say VTM Bloodlines for easiness’ sake. A great cast and I actually think I like them all for specific reasons. Yes, even Ming Xiao. Maybe especially Ming Xiao, actually.

A game with your favorite ending:  Bloodlines even though I had to turn godmode on for the last combat portions teehee. I just love the twist. :D

A game with the WORST ending: See Mass Effect above. Yes it’s been like a decade, no I’m still not over it.

Best character customization?: HRMST. With mods, Fallout 4. Without - I played Black Desert Online for a whole 3 seconds and it had an insane amount of options but I found it overwhelming lol.

Also putting a cut here cuz long post.

-Hero and Companions-

Your favorite playable character:  Jedi Exile or the Courier.

The funniest playable character: Garrett from the Thief series is a smartass and I love him for it. The Courier also gets some great options, naturally.

Your favorite companion(s): Oh christ here we go. Carth Onasi, Jolee Bindo, HK-47, Atton Rand, Kreia, Bao-Dur, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Legion, The Entire New Vegas Gang, Butch DeLoria, Charon, Deacon, Preston.

Companions you could live without: This is a difficult one since even companions I’m not super fond of have their place and purpose in the narrative, usually. I’m going to say G0-T0 and Hanharr from KOTOR 2 as they kept that game from the Best Companions title lol. I don’t play dark side and both of them just felt a little underdeveloped for me.

oh and skadge from SWTOR, fuck skadge

-Relationships-

Favorite game friendship(s): Shepard + everyone, Morrigan and the Female Warden,  Josie + Inquisitor, The Courier + everyone, Sole Survivor + everyone, Female Revan + Bastila, Exile + the new Jedi gang.

Favorite companion banter: This might make me a basic bitch but Deacon. The interplay between goofiness and sadness is just perfect.

A relationship you loved but went bad: Revan and Carth. It went bad because Revan fucked off to the Unknown Regions and left him behind, then we find out why in SWTOR (and they canonize Revan as a dude BOOOO) and it’s dumb lol.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Kaidan and Shepard when Mass Effect 2 rolled along. Being railroaded into working with Cerberus had me VERY annoyed at the time and Kaidan’s 100% right to also be mad about it so I was like oh god yeah I’d break up too. Mass Effect 2 has the best companions + side story but the worst main quest fight me. (Actually don’t pls)

A character you wish you COULD romance: Let’s list em off, shall we: D E A C O N, Nick Valentine, Glory, Nathaniel Howe, Bao-Dur, Nines Rodriguez, LaCroix, Beckett. Let me do it you cowards.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: Harding in Inquisition, Glory (actually most of the Railroad would be nice), Scout Haylen, Fahrenheit.

-Fun-

Shoutout to a random NPC: All the Jawas in KOTOR I love them. Oh and Officer Chunk in Bloodlines, that stupid, stupid man.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: I don’t actually seek out more than one let’s play of a game. :V I’d say the old Call of Cthulhu game though - it’s really neat but buggy as all hell and the one time I tried starting it up it ended up breaking real big time. It’s fun to watch people luckier (or more tech competent) than I am play it and I wish I could do the same.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: My boyfriend and I sometimes do this thing where he’ll stream a game he’s playing and I’ll sit in voice chat with him while I work with the stream in the other screen, so probably the games he’s done there. Most recent ones have been: Metal Gear Solid, FF7 and FF9.

Online gaming or solo?: I looove solo games but I love online more. Being in an LDR, playing games together online is really good. I enjoy having fun with friends, and I also enjoy the competitive aspect that comes along with online games. It really pushes me to be better at things and improve. Usually I’m in some kind of MMO - it’s looking to be WoW for the forseeable future right now. Sometimes I’ll get dragged into games like Planetside or Destiny and have a fun time for a month or two as well. :) I had a ton of fun with Sea of Thieves a few months ago too! Living our Captain Jack fantasy.

Why do you play video games?:  More than ever recently - creative inspiration. I like poking into weird games or games with a really strong art direction or good writing. (EYE Divine Cybermancy, Pathologic, Sunless Seas/Skies, Cultist Simulator, Dishonored, Darkwood, and Darkest Dungeon being a few of them). I also just really like a good story and good characters. Being able to immerse myself in another world is great. I also play them for that little cookie of accomplishment - beating a hard boss (LOOKING AT YOU NAMELESS KING) or figuring out a puzzle (Cultist Simulator is chock full of those) or surviving spookies (Darkwood big time). Video games are great and they hold my attention better than TV or movies as I actually have to engage with them lol.

[profoundnet]

Profound Member Post - August 2019

Header by @cryptomoon​​​ and is available on merch from her redbubble store. You can use all those fancy emojis (and more!) on our Discord server!

The Masterpost is open for all creations by ProfoundBond members which are posted in their entirety during that month.

MEMBER CONTRIBUTIONS FOR AUGUST 2019!

Masterpost below the cut.

goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Don’t Look Back (E, 36k)

While Mary was alive, she would tell Dean that soulmates were chosen by angels. When the right time came, he would hear his soulmate’s voice in his head, and he would know, wherever they were, they were singing just for him.

But Dean never heard a damn thing. Not at 12, when most people heard their first soul song. Not at 15, when Sammy heard his. Not at 17, when only two-percent of the population heard their first.

And definitely not at 28, when Sam leaves to be with the love of his life, and Castiel, deaf professor of rock music history at KU, moves in.

Tags: Soulmates AU, Deaf Cas, Professor Cas, Mutual Pining, They Were Roommates, Dean has self worth issues, Slow Burn

nickelkeep - @nickelkeep - nickelkeep

Some Pacific Wind (E, 11k)

When a storm comes through and tears away the roof of Dean's beloved night club, Nereid, he believes all is lost. But can the anonymous donations and the attractive new guy, Castiel repair all the things that have been broken?

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, Strangers to Lovers, Bartender!Dean, Businessman!Cas, Dom/Sub Play, Body Worship, Sub drop, Angst/Hurt and Comfort with a Happy Ending

Edge of Paradise (E, 3k)

Cas started to fold the panties when a thought crossed his mind. Dean always put the panties on himself, but had he ever wanted to see Cas put them on? Would that be something that turned on Dean? For a moment, Cas unfolded Dean's panties and held them out in front of himself. He looked at them, imagined the feel of the fabric wrapped around his skin instead of Dean's.

Tags: Canon Compliant, Established Destiel, Panty Kink, Dom/Sub Play, Porn w/ a little Plot

Faithfully (E, 7k)

"I have an idea!" Charlie giggled as she stood up. She stumbled a little, but Dorothy shot her hand up and helped steady her. "I saw a new game in the closet. It's a game we all know, but they put it on cards."

Dean shot a look at Cas who shrugged in return.

Charlie opened the closet. "I know I saw it. Oooh! Here!" She picked up the game and held it over her head triumphantly. "Never Have I Ever!"

"No, no, no, no." Dean stood up and intercepted Charlie. "Red, no one wants to know everything about everyone."

"You're a spoilsport, Winchester." Charlie pouted. A few other people agreed with her, causing Dean to roll his eyes.

"Do you all seriously think any of you are sober enough to play this?" He looked around and saw a mixture of heads nodding yes and heads shaking no.

Tags: AU - Modern Setting, They Were Roommates!, Idiots to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Platonic Cuddles, Ensemble Cast, Alcohol Use, Minor Drug Mention

Nothing You Confess (E, 5k)

Slowly, Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean. "Dammit, Cas. I told you to not go dying me on again. Don't scare me like that." Dean hugged Cas tightly before helping him sit up. "Are you ok?"

Cas nodded and attempted to speak. When no sound came out, he squinted and looked at Dean. He pointed at his lips and then his ears while trying to speak.

"Cas, are you saying something?" Dean leaned in close, getting his ear closer to Cas' mouth. "There's nothing come out." Surprise and fear flashed across Dean's face. "Cas, did that spell do something to your voice?"

Cas' lips moved some more without sound before he resigned himself to the fact that he couldn't speak. He nodded at Dean.

Tags: Canon Compliant, Witches and Curses, Cursed Castiel, Mutual Pining, Love Confessions, Sammy Ships It, Cas/Dean First Kiss

Wargurl83 - Wargurl83

Call My Name (And Save Me From The Dark) (M, 31k)

Wardens and Vargar have long existed in sync with each other. Each Pack has an Alpha and a Warden that are bound together that makes the other stronger. The Novak pack was the first Vargar pack in Kansas, and remains the largest in the state- but that may not hold true for much longer. The Pack’s Warden was ripped away from them by murder, and her son stolen in the night before he could complete the ritual to formally become the Pack’s Warden. Now, the Novak Pack is being ground down by Demons and a rival Pack, one who’s Warden uses dark magic. Now, Castiel, the Alpha’s son, strikes out on a desperate search for his Warden- Dean Winchester. Can he find the man he’s loved since childhood? And even if he can, will it be enough?

Tags: Graphic depictions of violence, magic users, creature Cas, Destiel harlequin challenge

rauko-is-a-free-elf - @rauko-is-a-free-elf - FeaRauko

The God of Laundry and Hipbones (T, 1.8k)

This is a drabble for the prompt: Destiel - I’m sorry you caught me moving your clothes out of the dryer but in my defense I’ve been waiting for one to open up for about an hour now

Or...

That one where Dean catches Cas moving his laundry, gawks at him like an idiot until he leaves, and then spends the next several months not being able to find him

Tags: College!au, fic with art, dorm life, Dean's pink panties

MaggieMaybe160 - @maggiemaybe160 - MaggieMaybe160

Forget Me Not (T, 2k)

The angels aren't a fan of Dean and Cas having a relationship. They find a way to sabotage the relationship.

Tags: Major Character Death, torture. 

andimeantittosting - @andimeantittosting - andimeantittosting

The Winchester Affair (E, 34k)

Castiel Shurley has emerged from self-imposed exile to help see his sister safely wed. But when Hael discovers a priceless diamond brooch at the LaCroix ball, a villain finds the opening he needs, and Castiel finds himself in a nightmare.

Blackmailed by the odious Zachariah Adler, he is given one mission: to spy upon Dean, the handsome Marquess of Winchester, or see his entire family ruined. As he’s running out of time, Castiel has to make a choice—save his family, or risk it all to protect the man he has loved in secret since childhood.

Tags: Regency AU, Friends to Lovers, Friends with Benefits, Mutual Pining, Blackmail, Harlequin Challenge

Jemariel - @jemariel - jemariel

Witness Protection (E, 5.5k)

At first, it was an inconvenience. Now, it's their lifeline.

True mates from rival Families, Dean and Castiel fight to escape with their lives.

Tags: Mafia AU, Background Dean/Abaddon, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Dean, Alpha Castiel, No mpreg, Knotting, True Mates, star-crossed lovers, Dialogue Heavy, Clothed Sex, Little bit of graphic injuries

Head Over Feet (E, 9.5k)

Castiel's brother is getting married, and Cas's ex boyfriend is in the wedding party.

Putting an ad on Craigslist for a wedding date seems like a terrible idea at the time, but one of the responses is... very intriguing...

Sparks fly, boys dance, and everybody lives happily ever after.

Tags: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Past Castiel/Inias, Strangers to Lovers, First Kiss, Slow Dancing, Frottage, Clothed Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Fluff and Smut

insominia - @a-insominia​ - insominia

In The Air Tonight (E, 3.5k)

It had been sixteen days since Dean Winchester had last made headlines. Not that Castiel was counting. Not that he had given it any thought at all.

Tags: Graphic Description of Violence, Murder Husbands, AU - Serial Killers, Blood and Gore, Masturbation, Psychopaths in Love

P.Cas. I Love You (G, 2.5k)

Dean Winchester is not a man of words and declarations of love do not come easy to him. Castiel is an angel and is so assured of his place in Dean's life that he does not need such affirmations. This is what Castiel understands to be true. Until Dean goes away.

Tags: Canon-verse, Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic fluff, Dean Winchester needs to use his words

shealynn88 - @shealynn88​ - shealynn88

Another Day, Another Demon (T, 800 words)

Dean gets called in to handle a demon problem. The demon is…not what he expected.  (endverse!Cas as a demon, meet-cute. Or at least a meet.)

Tags: humor, fluff, meet-cute

Make a Deal With the Bad Wolf (M, 1k)

Dean is bitten and becomes something new. If only he knew what, exactly, that something new was.

Tags: A/B/O, alpha Dean, monster Dean, canon-level violence

MalMuses - @malmuses​ - MalMuses

The Shadow in the Corner (E, 48k)

As a high-ranking member of the Men of Letters, Lord Dean Winchester is overqualified to be investigating strange phenomena at a seaside photography studio. But since the photographer is related to the organization’s most powerful sorcerer, Dean reluctantly boards a steam dirigible to Brighton.

Castiel Novak is haunted by a shadow that appears in some of his recent portraits. In each case, the subject died within days of the sitting. Does he have his grandfather’s gift of foresight, or has he somehow caused the deaths?

As Dean and Cas search for answers, their investigation draws them together in a most improper way—but it seems the evil presence in the studio may not be their only enemy…

Tags: Alternate Universe - Steampunk, Canon-Typical Violence, Case Fic, Period-Typical Homophobia, Crossdressing Castiel, Strangers to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Lovecraftian Monster, Panky kink, A Ridiculous Amount of Sexual Tension.

Down to Suck (E, 5.5k)

Castiel and his vampire boyfriend Dean have been together for a couple of months, and Castiel is very happy with their relationship. But there is a little something else he'd like to add to their dynamic...and he has a sneaky, fluffy plan to get his way.

A timestamp in the Bat Dean 'Verse.

Tags: Bat Dean, Anxious Castiel, Vampire Dean Winchester, Miggles the Cat - Freeform, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, First Time Bottoming, Love Confessions, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Additional Timestamp

Usarechan - @usarechan

Sunset

Postcard for Profoundzine Vol. 1 (SFW)

Angel Baby

My submission for the Profoundzine Vol. 1 (SFW)

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: episodes 3x06-3x10

Continuation of my post here

This post includes reviews the following episodes:

3x06 Bitter Harvest

3x07 Thirteen

3x08 Terms and Conditions

3x09 Stealing Fire

3x10 Fallen

3x06 Bitter Harvest

The Arkadia plot in this episode is quite interesting because it doesn’t go the way you expect.

It’s all about Pike’s plan to conquer some fertile land to grow food, so the Grounders couldn’t starve Arkadia out, but his plan requires them to “clear” a Grounder village in the area, as he already explained in 3x05. Bellamy was obviously horrified by the realization of what that would probably mean, but it ends up being one of several frustrating moments of this arc where he fails to change Pike’s opinion and then goes along with Pike’s decision in spite of his misgivings.

The story seems like it’s going to be all about the small armed Arker force victimizing helpless Grounder villagers – especially when it becomes obvious that Hannah and resident bigoted a-hole Gilmer would be ready to kill a child to prevent him from telling other villagers. And about Octavia saving the villagers by warning them to leave before they come. But there’s some moral complexity thrown in when Miller points out that the situation is tricky as warning the villagers, they might end up causing deaths to their friends, though Octavia also rightfully points out that an attack on a village, aside from being bad in itself, would be likely to make Lexa reconsider her decision and decide to attack Arkadia after all.

But I really like the twist that the villagers weren’t a bunch of helpless folks just waiting for Octavia to save them, and that, instead, they don’t want to leave their homes (why the heck would they?) and decide to defend themselves – and that they do it successfully, by releasing poisoned smoke. Because, guess what, Grounders aren’t “Noble Savages” or whatever nonsense some think they are. And it’s funny that Monty – who had pointed out “they are Grounders, they will fight” - actually had judged the situation better than Octavia, who thinks she’s so well versed into Grounder culture. If the village leader, Semet, hadn’t gone on to act like such an idiot in 3x07, I would have a lot of respect for him and the rest of the villagers (they showed themselves to be more competent than their soldiers). And just to be clear, I’m on their side here – as always, people have the right to defend themselves. Arkers here underestimated them and got smoked, just like Grounder army and Commander underestimated the Delinquents in season 1 and got burned.

In the end, Octavia had to warn her brother and the rest of the Arkers so they wouldn’t all die – and it still took two lives. It ends up with Octavia getting tied up by the villagers and brought to Polis, setting up 3x07, while Hannah blames Octavia and “traitors in the camp” for the two deaths, which sets up the conflicts in 3x08.

The first time I watched this episode, I was so terrified that they were going to make Bellamy’s group commit war crimes in the village  – because of all the brouhaha I had heard about Bellamy’s controversial actions in season 3, the supposed “character assassination”, or even haters calling him “genocidal” (?). So it was a huge relief none of that happened. But it would have been interesting to see what he would have done if they had indeed run into villagers. I think he may have been able to proceed with the mission as long as the villagers were either defending themselves, or if they took them captive, but it would be different if one of the group tried to harm someone defenseless, and he definitely would have snapped if anyone tried to harm a child. And that would likely cause conflict with the more extreme members of the group, and maybe prompted him to break away from Pike earlier. But it didn’t get to that.

But the other plot, the one in Polis, drives me nuts, because it makes no sense on so many levels.

King Roan gives Emerson as a “gift” to Clarke so she could get her revenge. Instead of of enacting one himself or giving him to his people. And then Lexa and Titus act as if their people have no reason to want revenge against Emerson - and that Clarke and the Arkers are the only ones that the Mountain Men have hurt. Lexa even says “So it is Blood must not have blood only when it’s my people who bleed?” Wait, what?! Her people did bleed at the hands of the Mountain Men. For decades. In all sorts of horrible ways. They said in season 2 that they lost thousands of people. We saw it: they were killing them with acid fog, keeping them in cages, draining them and throwing them out like trash, or hooking them on drugs and torturing and turning them into controlled cannibalistic monsters and sent them against their own people. And Emerson is not some random Mount Weather resident, he was one of the leaders in their regime, he was Cage’s right hand and led the Ground Unit. Clarke knows it, Lexa knows it - because she directly negotiated with him in season 2.

Did the writers forget what happened in season 2, or do characters on this show have super short memory? Is three months the statute of limitation on “Blood must have blood”? It gets worse because we’re later supposed to believe that many Grounders are unhappy with Lexa’s decision to not take revenge on the Arkers for killing 300 of their warriors…which is somehow, apparently, much worse than everything the Mountain Men had done to them? First Nia, then Roan, now Lexa, none of them tried to get revenge for the crimes of Mount Weather against Grounders, but apparently there were no riots over that. The crowd just murmurs and talks at the end of the episode, when Lexa let Emerson go, after handing over the decision of what to do with him with Clarke. But that’s all.

The whole dilemma Titus and Lexa put in front of Clarke here is based on a ludicrous premise that Clarke punishing Emerson would be the same as Lexa and the coalition waging war and trying to kill all the Arkers. I guess you could just ascribe that to Titus being a manipulative d*ck (which he is). But committing genocide of an entire group of people in retaliation for actions of a few is very, very different from punishing one person for his own crimes. To be fair, Clarke points that out to Titus. But then he shuts her up with another false analogy bringing up Mount Weather. And it’s especially grating that it’s Grounder leaders, or even Emerson himself, who give Clarke crap about MW, which is incredibly hypocritical. They know damn well that she had no choice but either kill all of the Mountain Men, or let them kill her and all her people. And why was she left with no choice? Because Emerson and the other Mountain Men tried to kill all of her people (and they didn’t have to - they could have started by asking them to donate bone marrow. There’s a few thousand Arkers, no one needed to die to save the Mountain Men) and because Lexa and the Grounders betrayed Clarke and her people and left them to be killed by the Mountain Men. So Emerson is like “How dare ypu defend yourselves when we tried to kill you all?” and Titus is like “How dare you defend yourselves when we left you to die and they tried to kill you?” F*ck off.

Then there’s the stupid dichotomy of “either death by 1000 cuts, or let him go”. Come on, guys, surely you can think of other options in between? From killing him fast and without torture, to not killing him but keeping him locked up? This is not like that time in season 1 when the Delinquents exiled Murphy instead of killing him. They had a camp with tents, few people, few resources, they were not able to keep anyone imprisoned for any longer period. But in Polis, they have buildings and facilities (we later see cells in 3x13) and enough people to keep prisoners. Why would you let Emerson go free? Forget even justice, forget revenge - this guy is obviously a threat. Let him go, and he’s going to make trouble again. Who cares if he suffers? The primary concern should be stopping him from doing any more damage.

Clarke has always been pragmatic, so only way I can make sense of her actions here and not consider them OOC is that she’s been in this position where she is risking peace if she doesn’t let Emerson go, and she doesn’t have emotional energy to argue the case and point out the stupidity of it all, so she just opted for the lesser evil/lesser risk.

At the beginning of the episode, Lexa wakes up and says that she hears past Commanders talk to her in he dreams (setting up the chip reveal in the next episode), and that they’re not happy about her decision. So, past Commanders were really into killing and revenge. (Does that include Becca?) Lexa is clearly still unsure about her new policy at this point, though by the end of the episode, she gives a rousing speech about peace being the better option. Most of the episode’s plot in Polis revolves around Titus’ attempts to change Lexa’s mind, so I guess we’re supposed to think that Clarke’s decision to let Emerson go helped solidify Lexa’s resolve? This is dumb, for all the reasons above.

We see Clarke as an artist, again – she draws Lexa’s portrait while she’s sleeping, and this and her awkwardness while showing Lexa her drawing is an indication of her growing feelings for her. And that’s the only one-on-one scene they get in this episode, everything else is political stuff about Emerson, so 80% of the development of their romance is all in 3x07.

Another development setting up the next episode: captured Murphy is brought to Titus.

Timeline? Not sure, this time. One of the few times in the season where we don’t know

Body count: Two victims of poisoned smoke.

Monroe, one of the original 100 (leaving 45 Delinquents that are still alive)

 another Arker – Lacroix, minor character introduced this season. 

Note: There’s a huge continuity error in this episode. Emerson says that Clarke killed 381 people: “182 men, 173 women, and 26 children” That’s not true. Tsing said there were 382 people in Mount Weather in episode 2x11. Since then, a bunch of people had been killed before Clarke and Bellamy irradiated Level 5, so the number of people still alive in the finale were probably just a bit over 300. Many died long before Clarke came back to Mount Weather – killed by Bellamy or the Delinquents, some died fighting the Grounders and Arkers, some of them (like Vincent Vie) were civilians who were murdered by the guards for helping and hiding the Delinquents. Obviously, I have paid a lot more attention to these things than the writers ever have.

Rating: 5/10

3x07 Thirteen

And here we are, this infamous episode again. The title presumably refers to the 13th station, whose fate we find out in the flashbacks, but since 13 is supposed to be the unlucky number, it’s a very fitting title for the most unfortunate episode in the show’s history, the one where the writers had the romance between Clarke and Lexa happen for 15 minutes just to immediately kill Lexa, which it wrecked the show’s reputation and made a mess out of the fandom.

The present day events in this episode happen only in Polis, and Clarke Octavia and Murphy are the only ones out of the main cast who appear in it.

But to start from the beginning –the villagers from the last episode come to Polis for an audience with the Commander, and Titus introduces them. They give a redacted version of their story, with Titus claiming that their village was attacked and helpless. Which is not what happened – they defended themselves successfully. Semet also says Skaikru killed various members of his family. Which I guess might be true, but only if all of them were soldiers in Lexa’s army… but that’s not the story they’re trying to present, they’re making it look like their village was attacked and helpless civilians actually killed. And Octavia is there as their captive, tied up and gagged so she can’t say anything. And then, when Lexa reiterates that she’s not going to be going to war, Semet acts like a complete idiot and tries to assassinate her, in front of everyone (WTF) before getting stabbed by Titus. I always thought this was an incredibly stupid and unconvincing moment. But on rewatch, I noticed that Semet looks at Titus with a look of huge surprise and shock as he dies. Now why would he be surprised that the Flamekeeper killed him to protect the Heda? Either he’s an even bigger idiot than I thought – or Titus was the one who put him up to it in the first place (he was the one who brought them in and controlled the narrative they presented) in order to demonstrate to Lexa that her new policy will turn her people against her. He is maybe the only person with enough authority that he may have convinced Semet that he could get away with an assassination because he would support them. So, maybe at least this plot point was not that bad as I thought, but only if my theory is right. That would also solve the issue of “why are the people suddenly ready to rebel against their Heda over this, when they were OK with her deal with the Mountain Men and with letting Emerson go, and when they generally have a semi-religious worship of the Commander and value obedience and hierarchy” –if there was no spontaneous riot after all

Lexa makes the decision that every Sky person caught beyond the line would be killed. Which creates obvious problems for Octavia and Clarke. Octavia uses her remaining time in Polis to convince Indra to come with her, and to not retire because of her injuries, and to call out Clarke, making a snide remark about how she must be enjoying the comfort of her quarters in Lexa’s castle-like tower, and telling her that she has an hour to come back to Arkadia, or “you are not the person I thought you were”. Clarke says that she’s staying because she was needed for political reasons, but Octavia is not fully convinced, and Clarke seems unsure at this point. The fact she is even considering both options shows how much she’s changed. How much of it is being drawn to staying with Lexa because of her feelings for her, because Lexa is giving her comfort and making her feel good, and how much because she’s still scared of facing her friends back in Arkadia and the painful memories that would bring up, especially after that intense and painful confrontation with her Not=Boyfriend that reminded her of all that history and no doubt convinced her that he hated her, it’s up for discussion.

Good acting and the fact that the actresses have a lot of chemistry helps sell the romantic scenes between Clarke and Lexa in this episode, and on their own, they are really well done, with romantic music and soft lightning – but it all comes off as too soon, considering how poorly this has been set up and developed in the previous episodes. They both know they are going to go their separate ways, which prompts them to show their feelings for each other. Lexa suggests that Clarke could decide to stay with her, and Clarke avoids an answer, instead implying that Titus would have a problem with that (without naming him).If Clarke were to accept Lexa’s proposal, they could have an actual romantic relationship – all that Clarke would have to give up is: her identity, her freedom all of her remaining power, and all her family and friends, and live surrounded by people who dislike and distrusts her, with Lexa as her only protection. Seasons 1-2 Clarke wouldn’t even have considered that, but post-Mount Weather Clarke had already given up most of that, even before Lexa re-entered the picture. Still, she chooses to be herself again, and get back Arkadia. The best written CL moment in this episode is when Lexa show she expected that decision – she is aware Clarke would never choose her over her people - and comes close to telling Clarke she loves her, for being that way – “That’s why I… that’s why you’re you”. They are both aware that their respective roles are too much of a part of both of their identities and that they could only, perhaps, have a real relationship one day if they were free from leadership responsibilities (would that ever happen, if Lexa hadn’t died? We’ll never know, but it’s hard to imagine the Grounder society without a Commander, or a Lexa who retires and isn’t Commander anymore), before they kiss and Clarke initiates goodbye sex.

Two of the show’s many repetitive catchphrases get referenced- Lexa’s line “Love is weakness” from 2x09 and Clarke’s “Life should be about more than just surviving” from 2x14. Here we learn that “Love is weakness” wasn’t just something Lexa believed because of her horrible experience with what Nia did to her lover Costia, but something that Titus, her mentor, had always taught her. Later, in season 5, we learn that it is what all Flamekeepers teach Commanders. It makes sense: not just because of the Grounder views of what strength is, but also because, if a Commander doesn’t fall in love or get close to anyone else, the Flamekeeper can continue to be the main influence in the Commander’s life. It seems that Nightblood novices typically become Commanders as children, who are taken and separated from their parents– and Flamekeepers are quite older and their mentors, and the ones who can shape who they are. Titus is something like a father figure to Lexa, and also her subject, so while she has all the power, he has shaped her while she was growing up, and still has a lot of influence on her – and he hates someone else having more influence, especially someone from Sky people, who is making Lexa abandon the traditionalist views that Titus had taught her. He worships her, but he wants her to be who he made her to be, and love can be abusive (including the platonic, mentor/father-like love). Lexa had shown a tendency to try to control and isolate Clarke, and Titus has been manipulating and trying to control and isolate Lexa. In that way, her death, while problematic in many ways, isn’t random as people say – even though it’s a stray bullet, it happens because of Lexa’s choices and Titus’ toxicity, and it is tragic and both ironic and fitting that he is the one who ends up killing her. She ended up a victim of the traditions that shaped her and made her Commander but that she was starting to move away from.

Where I agree with Lexa/CL fans is that her death - the way it happened - was extremely poorly written and ended up playing into some bad tropes - Bury Your Gays and Death by Sex. Where I disagree with most CL fans is that I think the relationship between her and Clarke leading up to that was rushed, underdeveloped and poorly written. Both the CL romance and Lexa’s change of policy were incredibly rushed – and would have required a lot more episodes (probably an entire season, at least) and way better writing than what was there.

The weird way they wrote their relationship in season 3 weakened both characters in different ways.  As a Clarke fan, I’m far more interested in her, and I’m not sure what exactly they were trying to do with her arc here, except give her another short-lived, tragic romance that ends in the other person’s death (because Clarke must suffer in her love life and never be happy or be in a committed relationship). There are interesting interpretations that Clarke falling in love with Lexa was symbolically about her learning to accept a part of herself that she hated – but I’m not sure that her overall arc really fits with that so well, since Clarke still feels guilty and hates herself over various things she has had to do as a leader. In any case, I wasn’t enjoying watching her spend almost all of season 3a as a literal Princess in the Tower, no more really a leader but just a court favorite, staying in Polis as a symbol and putting all her energy into convincing Lexa to do or not do things and having to depend on Lexa to do or not do things to save her people.

Maybe that arc was better if you look at it from Lexa’s POV or as Lexa fan, since a lot of her fans seem to enjoy it. But I don’t think her arc is great, either. Her transition from adhering to “Blood must have blood” to deciding to be a peaceful leader happened very quickly - she was going to go to war against Arkadia in 3x05 and changed her mind at the very end of that episode when Clarke told her she should be a peaceful ruler. She still wasn’t sure about it in 3x06. And they kind of made it all in the end about her romance with Clarke, which made it a very muddled arc: did she really change her policy mostly because of Clarke’s influence (as Titus and everyone around her believed) or did she start to really question everything she had been taught and believe in another way? How would she have dealt with the opposition to her new policy among her subjects? Would she continue to rule as a tyrant and use violent means – as she was taught a Commander should –or would she come to the conclusion that, in order to attain peace, you need to use peaceful means, too? We should have had more time with her struggling with that and making those decisions without Clarke and without the context of Clexa romance. And definitely a different death would have been a much better writing choice - either in battle or something else that was about politics and war, not right after sex with a bullet meant for her lover.

Another, most unexpected Luna mention happens – in bed, when Clarke is looking at the tattoos on Lexa’s back, and hears about the Conclave for the first time, and the fact Luna was one of the kids she was meant to fight.

My favorite moment of the episode is when Clarke finds Murphy tied up – certainly the last thing she expected to see in Polis – and yells “He is my friend!” That was kind of funny and unexpected, since they were hardly what anyone would call friends in seasons 1-2, but they do become more friendly in this episode, where Murphy later even offers her sympathy for Lexa’s death.

Finally, the Becca flashbacks… The first time I watched this, I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly bothered me about them, but I just found them boring and annoying. The second time I started to realize, and now I’m sure: it’s because Becca’s actions make no sense to me. Are we supposed to like her or be on her side? She comes off as an insufferable megalomaniac, the savior complex gone wrong. The android you created destroyed the world, and you think an improved version of that same android is going to save it? Really? And you get a bunch of people killed just to preserve it?

And this is the big revelation about the Flame, and Becca as the first Commander. This is probably my least favorite plot point on the show, ever. What were the writers smoking every time they came up with some new element of the Grounder culture? None of it makes sense, but the chip, in particular, creates a bunch of plot holes. The fact that Grounders managed to forget all the technology, history, culture, just after 97 years (in fact, less – they’ve been like that for a while, presumably) never made any sense – but it is even harder to make sense of if the Commanders all have memories of a genius scientist from before the apocalypse. I have no idea if the show expects us to take the Grounder tradition and belief seriously, and why it romanticizes it so much. From what we can see, having memories of past Commanders never helped any of them be any wiser. So how exactly did the chip help anyone? Unless it was all just about the prospect of ALIE 2.0 one day helping put down the original ALIE.

Timeline: How much time did the villagers need to get from their village to Polis? That’s the amount of time that passed since the end of 3x06. This should mean there have been about two weeks since the beginning of the season, give or take a couple of days.

Body count:

One minor character death - Semet stabbed by Titus

The most infamous death on the show: Lexa, shot and deadly wounded by Titus

This does not exactly count as it happened way in the past, but the flashbacks covered the deaths of most of the population of Earth (six and a half billion people, according to what Becca says in 3x16), and then later, everyone from the Polaris station minus Becca.

Rating: 3/10

3x08 Terms and Conditions

Timeline: This episode seems to take place approximately at the same time as 3x07, in a different location and with a different set of characters, taking place fully in Arkadia, which is under Grounder blockade that they are promising to lift only if Pike is handed over to them.

While 3x07 didn’t feature any of the main cast characters other than Clarke, Octavia and Murphy (and was the first episode of the show that Bellamy didn’t appear in), this is the first episode without Clarke or Octavia. It’s a pretty solid and intense episode that focuses only on the growing tensions inside Arkadia, especially the mistrust and schemes as the two sides are spying on each other and luring each other into traps. It’s like a little political thriller about what happens when a community living in the state of war and isolation and increasing paranoia starts looking for enemies not just outside but inside, with sharp divides between friends, families and lovers.

This is also most of all a Bellamy-centric episode, which starts with him doubling down on his loyalty to Pike, and ends with him finally making the decision to turn against him – maybe not yet to the point of being ready to hand him over to the Grounders, but certainly enough to go behind his back in order to save his friends. Bellamy has looked unsure about Pike’s policies since 3x05 when he told Pike “We went too far” about the killing of the Grounder army, and after that he was obviously increasingly uncomfortable whenever he realized how far Pike was willing to go, but whenever someone (Kane, Octavia, Clarke) would try to change his mind, he would bring up some of the reasons why he joined Pike in the first place (mostly their history with the Grounders and the resulting distrust) and double down on his allegiance, maybe because, to admit to himself he was wrong, he would also have to admit that he’s made a terrible mistake again and killed people he didn’t need to kill. Monroe’s and Lacroix’s deaths in 3x06, apart from being Pike’s reason/justification to start looking for traitors within Arkadia – or rather, prove that the ‘traitor’ was Kane, and find those helping him – also seems to have convinced Bellamy to go along with it. Another thing that made him double down even more is the Grounders delivering their terms with threats and heads of the dead Arkadia guards who got caught over the line. Shooting them on the spot is certainly one of Bellamy’s most impulsive violent moments, but it’s not surprising he wouldn’t react well to that. But when Pike decides not just to keep Kane and the others imprisoned, as Bellamy thought he would (and as Pike first said he would do, after arresting Sinclair), but condemns Kane to death for treason and attempted murder (for trying to deliver him to the Grounders), it’s the crucial moment where you can see Bellamy start changing his mind: “Are we killing our own people now?”

Pike’s policy certainly escalated from 3x04 when he argued to the crowd that they shouldn’t look for enemies among their own, inside Arkadia (and counted Lincoln among those their own). Bellamy’s attempts to pacify Pike up to an extent rarely worked, - maybe the one time it did was when Bellamy managed to convince Pike that the sick Grounders who tried to escape should not be punished, because they just didn’t plan an escape, just saw the door and run, “just as we would do”. But he can’t prevent Pike from sentencing Sinclair and Lincoln, as leaders of the failed escape, to death alongside Kane.

So many Finn references in season 3 – by Raven, Jasper, and now Pike (just none from Clarke since season 2). Arguing with Kane, Pike – who doesn’t believe Grounders would keep their promise if he gave himself up - brings up the time when, as he says, they gave Finn to the Grounders in similar circumstances: “You surrendered one of the young lives you were sworn to protect…” but it ended in Grounders betraying them. I guess that’s the idea he got from the short summary he heard from Monty (who was in Mount Weather when everything with Finn went down), but that’s not what happened. Finn gave himself up, after everyone had been protecting him as long as they could. Why didn’t Kane correct him? This may be one of those times when the writers forgot the details of what happened in season 2. Anyway, considering his genuine desire to protect the teenagers from the Ark, which we later see in the flashbacks of 3x13, I wonder what Pike would have done if he had found out that Miller and Harper were one of the “traitors”, and if he would go as far as to cross that moral event horizon or if that would make him stop, but we won’t ever know. He did find out about Monty’s betrayal in the following episode, but in that case he had to promise Monty’s mom he wouldn’t hurt him.

The strain that the political divide puts on relationships is best seen in the familiar relationship between the Greens – Monty eventually helps his friends behind his mom’s back – and the romantic relationship between Miller and Bryan, because Bryan is from the Farm Station and loyal to Pike because he feels he owes him his life, and because Bryan plants a bug on Miller. Bryan doesn’t feel about himself for doing that to someone he loves, but Bellamy tries to reassure him that this kind o deception and betrayal is OK ���if you are doing it to protect him”. Bryan isn’t sure: “What if I am the one he needs protection from?” Parallel to Bellamy’s actions regarding Clarke in 3x05.

Kane was initially against Harper’s suggestion that they knock out Pike and give him up to the Grounders to lift the blockade, citing moral reasons – that it would practically be murder: “This is not who we are” = “Maybe it should be”, replies Miller. Two seasons ago, Kane was the one arguing for ruthlessness in the name of survival, but now he’s on the opposite end. However, he eventually changes his mind and agrees with Miller and Harper, and tries to hand over Pike himself.

The big argument between Kane and Pike after Kane’s arrest is a clash of two different views of the world. Kane calls out Pike on having become a dictator, and points out to him that the world is not the way he sees it and that his way of doing things is destructive and has no future. But Pike is convinced that he is being realistic and doing what is necessary for survival of his people, and his arguments, including invoking the Ark laws, must remind Kane of his old self back in early season 1.

The City of Light stuff in this episode is really strong. Having this storyline focus on Raven, who is incredibly strong but has suffered so much both physically and emotionally, and Jasper, who has been broken the most by his suffering, was the best idea of season 3. Raven, under ALIE’s influence, recruits Jasper to help her to look for the second AI that ALIE is focused on finding, but instead, Jasper ends up being a catalyst for Raven to finally understand the nature of ALIE’s brainwashing and turn against her. Raven is still wearing Finn’s necklace, but it turns out she has forgotten everything about him, including nice memories, like her first kiss. ALIE doesn’t just remove the pain, she removes all important and emotional memories (Jaha has forgotten Wells, Jackson has forgotten his mother…).

Is this the first time we see Maya’s music player, which Jasper kept, or was he already using it in 3x01? Was that what he was using to play Violent Femmes? This time he’s playing Algiers, the song “Remains”. Maya had good taste in music.

Body count:

4 Arkadia guards killed off-screen by Grounders, who delivered their heads,

2 Grounder warriors (the same ones who delivered said heads) shot by Bellamy

Rating: 7/10

3x09 Stealing Fire

This episode is much worse than I remembered it. It’s not even bad, it’s just mediocre.

That’s in large part due to the Polis storyline (again), which is particularly bad here. In the aftermath of Lexa’s death, we finally find out the details about the way that new Commanders are made: we had already learned in 3x07 that what was described as something mystical and similar to reincarnation, is actually more of a Dollhouse thing, with people having computer chips in their heads with memories of dead people< and now we find out that the romanticized story about the Commander’s “spirit choosing its successor” is actually about kids being forced to fight and kill each other until only one remains. That’s extremely disturbing. (It also makes the line about the Commander’s spirit nonsensical and probably referring to superstition.)

In addition to being messed up, the Conclave is also a really stupid idea. Best line of the episode – Clarke pointing out to Titus just how stupid their succession plan is (Nightblood people are so rare, let them kill each other). It’s terrible that Ontari kills all the children, but, as Roan explicitly points out, those children were all (but one) going to die anyway, except it was going to be by each other’s hand.

This is where Ontari really gets into focus as the new villain. She’s my least favorite character on the show – what a trashy, one-dimensional, over-the-top, badly acted villain, and on top of it all, she’s so sexualized, that her scenes, especially every time she interacts with Murphy, look like I’m watching some trashy exploitation movie fantasy. They even show her bathing and acting seductively towards her future rape victim. WTF is up with that? She manages to bring down the quality of the show several notches every time she’s on screen.

Roan, now King Roan, also comes back, and is in his usual maybe-ally-maybe-not mode, and saves Clarke and Murphy, but also supports Ontari, because she’s Ice Nation, so he doesn’t care that she’s batsh*t. He justifies it by throwing Mount Weather into Clarke��s face, and I’m really sick and tired of everyone (Lexa, Titus, Roan) making that comparison WHICH DOES NOT ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE to justify their BS.

Speaking of bulls*itting, Titus is a piece of work: dude actually tries to blame Clarke for Lexa’s death: “I may have pulled the trigger, but you killed her”. Yeah, Clarke, how dare you be my intended murder victim and not die!

Clarke, of course, desperately tries to ensure that Ontari doesn’t actually become the Commander, because she’s made it clear that she wants to kill all Sky people (and is generally awful), so she finally manages to convince Titus to give her the Flame to go and find Luna, who they all think is the last Nightblood (how lucky that Clarke remembered that and that she asked Lexa about that in bed). Before that, there’s a lot of talk about how the Flame works – according to Titus, if a bad person like Ontari gets the Flame, it only enhances those bad qualities, all the more reason not to give her that. (Does that mean it works kind of like Dr Erskine’s serum?) According to Titus, Lexa was the “wisest and purest” of the four Commanders he’s served (and Titus is not even super old, so that gives you an idea that Commanders tend to die violently). I really don’t know if this is supposed to be objectively true – Lexa made quite a few really bad decisions, from starting an unnecessary war against the Delinquents and losing, to making a deal with the Mountain Men and betraying the Sky people, to expecting Sky people to accept her as their Commander afterwards; but she was said by Emerson to be different from most Commanders because she was making alliances, and we don’t know anything about the earlier Commanders, except that they probably constantly waged wars between clans, killed a lot of people through the “Blood must have blood” motto, and failed to mount any serious resistance against the Mountain Men…. So it’s entirely possible that most Commanders were terrible leaders. So having the Flame didn’t exactly help them, did it? The one thing that would have been useful, Becca’s technological and scientific knowledge, they somehow didn’t know about.

On the other hand, Titus is hardly objective – dude is very genuine (and rather creepy) in his pseudo-religious adoration of his mentee/daughter figure/Heda Lexa (who, we learn from Luna later in 3x14, was his favorite even as the novice in the Conclave), He even kills himself with Roan’s sword, refusing to give Ontari the Flame, with the last words “For Lexa”. I don’t doubt that he really did love her in his toxic, controlling and manipulative way.

Throughout seasons 2 and 3, Murphy’s role was basically to be thrown around between various random storylines, and have bad things happen to him, while making snarky remarks and talking about being a survivor. Murphy ending up as Ontari’s fake Flamekeeper – just because he happened to be there and see when Titus took the chip out of Lexa - is one of the most random things that’s happened on the show. You’d think that Grounders would make sure that there would be more people who knew to do that, since the position of the Flamekeeper is so important.

The storyline in Arkadia is more interesting but also really frustrating in many ways.

The one good thing that happens is the Kabby development. Faced with the likelihood of Kane being executed, Abby indirectly admits that she loves him, by saying: “I can’t do this again” (see the man she loves die), and later, when he has to escape from Arkadia for the time being, Kane kisses her. Most romantic relationships on the show are either rushed or developed off-screen, so it’s good to finally see one that can be called slow-burn = their chemistry was obvious back in season 1 -and has had genuine development, but hasn’t been endlessly dragged out (slow-burn by TV standards – it’s actually just normal-burn, since it has been less than six months since the Pilot).

The episode starts as a follow-up to the resolutions from the end of 3x08 – Bellamy and Monty come to Miller and Harper, offering help and trying to convince those two they are on their side now because they want to save Kane, Sinclair and Lincoln, though Miller and Harper are unsure if they should trust them – trust between the Delinquents has really been damaged by the events of the previous episodes. Harper teases Monty about his mother, apparently not believing that he could oppose her or go behind her back, which Monty indeed does to help his friends. Bellamy opts to set up a meeting with Octavia to help her save Lincoln.

The Green mother-son relationship is pretty complicated – Hannah knows Monty ‘betrayed’ Pike to help his friends, so she warns Monty to get away but claims she didn’t give him up… although she actually did, she just asked Pike to promise not to hurt Monty. (This reminds me of Abby turning Jake to Jaha.)

The relationship between Miller and Bryan has been strained due to everyone spying on each other, especially since Bryan put a bug on Miller, and Miller found out someone did it, since Bellamy had to remove the bug first when he came to talk to him. And it wasn’t hard to guess who put it there. Miller makes Bryan reveal it, or maybe his intent was more to see if Bryan would choose him over his political affiliation and loyalty to Pike. Which he does, but that was when the stakes were as high as Miller’s life. The relationship was surprisingly fine after this point, I guess Miller was fine with Bryan making his choice at this point.

On the other hand, the Blake sibling relationship doesn’t heal so easy but gets worse, because Octavia meets Bellamy’s offer of help but nothing but distrust and anger, electrocutes him and chains him up in a cave and declines his help, saying that she doesn’t need his help “for the first time in my life”. Not a good decision on her part, since Bellamy’s plan was much more likely to work without alerting Pike, since he still had Pike’s trust and could have used that, unlike Octavia’s plan to be the lone hero – which was a lot more dramatic, but resulted in Pike using the interned sick Grounders to blackmail Lincoln to come back, under threat of the others being executed instead. Was that a deliberate parallel between Octavia electrocuting and handcuffing Bellamy, Bellamy handcuffing Clarke, Clarke electrocuting him to escape, and between Octavia electrocuting Bellamy and Lincoln knocking out Octavia with a syringe at the end of the episode, so he can go back to save his people and stop her from coming with him? Very different situations, but there has been a lot of that going around between people who love each other.

Lincoln’s death was a heroic, martyr-like one; he chose to sacrifice himself for others, which is fully in-character for him. His last words and the choice of music (“Cloud” by Elias) were really good. But it’s really hard to talk about Lincoln’s death without thinking of all the ugly BTS drama connected to it, and the fact that he barely had any screentime or development in season 3, makes me a bit bitter, as does thinking about the interesting storylines he could have had.

It’s interesting that one of the things Ricky said in his post-season 3 interviews was that he thought moving the death of his character from the finale, when it was planned, to this early, undermined the story, because, in his opinion, it made Pike too much into a villain. I thought the show was already going maybe too much in that direction, and Pike is actually not portrayed in muhaha villain fashion at any point, not even here (his attitude is more like that which we’ve seen, for instance, in Lexa – I don’t particularly want to do this, but I must do it to demonstrate my authority - but it’s true that the one thing audience doesn’t forgive characters is killing a beloved major character. However, in hindsight, Lincoln would have to die at some point even without the BTS drama, so Octavia would start her dark development.

Timeline: The episode starts almost immediately after 3x08.

Body count:

Seven Nightblood children/novices, including Aden,

Titus - suicide

Lincoln, executed by Pike – this is first death of a character billed as main cast member since Finn in mid-season 2, and third overall (the first one was Wells, another infamous death of a black character on The 100)

Rating: 5/10

3x10 Fallen

This is one of the episodes that’s really tricky to rate, because it has one storyline that’s great (the confrontation between Raven and ALIE), one storyline that is really good but where I have some issues with how certain things are portrayed in the long run (Blake siblings), but the third one is worst thing the show has ever done.

The City of Light scenes in this episode are really strong. I’m amazed to realize just how often in season 3 that storyline was the best thing or one of the best things about an episode, even though I found its conclusion in the season 3 finale really underwhelming. ALIE messing with people’s minds and characters either succumbing or fighting her was the most interesting part of that plot (way more interesting than everyone eventually joining to fight the evil robot). Raven’s storyline in seasons 3 and 4 is generally pretty strong and original, you don’t often see a character fighting a battle with and in their brain.  Here, she tries to defeat ALIE, first by blocking her from her mind, and then she finds a way to block her permanently – through the wristbands that the 100 wore in season 1. (I’m not even going to pretend to understand Raven’s explanation how that’s supposed to work, it’s really not my field.) But Jaha finds and destroys them all (of course, there’s where the detail from 3x01 – Clarke noticing that Niylah had one of the wristbands – is going to come in).

This is where ALIE achieves her victory in Arkadia, managing to chip almost everyone. She wins the battle against Raven by making her relive all her most painful memories, from physical torture – like being drilled in Mount Weather, tortured in Tondc, her operation, to seeing Finn die. This kind of thing can break even the strongest person, and Raven breaks.

We learn that Jackson has also already taken the chip. We also get a bit of backstory on him – his painful memory that he forgot is the death of his mother Mary from an illness, and he became a doctor because he wanted to save people the way he couldn’t save her. (I’m still confused why everyone on the Ark, which was supposed to originate from 12 different nations. has English first names and why almost everyone has English last names as well, with rare exceptions like the Jahas, Raven Reyes and John Mbege, but that’s a part of this show’s problems with worldbuilding.)

ALIE forces Abby to take the chip, too , by making Raven cut her wrists and almost kill herself. Lindsey Morgan’s performance as Raven and ALIE in Raven’s body is amazing.

Jasper is the only one in Arkadia who isn’t chipped at this point, and he manages to escape in the Rover and save Raven, before he bumps into Clarke, which is very fortunate since Clarke is the one who knows where to find the wristbands. These are some Jasper’s last heroic moments, before he breaks and has an antiheroic role at the end of the season.

But thanks to the other two storylines, I tend to think of this episode as the one where engage in physical and sexual abuse of men, to questionable and varying portrayal on the show/responses from the fandom.

The Blake siblings relationship has always been dysfunctional, but it goes to another level here.. I get that Octavia is grieving and I have sympathy for her, but that does not excuse beating the crap out of your brother, and then not showing any remorse. Some people argue it’s not abuse because Bellamy allowed her to do it, asking Miller and others not to interfere. Just like he later let her treat him as a “hostage”, even though he obviously could have overpowered her any moment, since he did it immediately when he wanted to - after Pike told people to shoot Octavia in the leg. But if the genders were reversed, I very much doubt that the viewers would be that blase over a grieving male character dealing with his issues by brutally beating his sister bloody, or that they would be OK with it because she allowed him to do it because she loves him, or because “she deserved it” (yikes!). That justification is wrong and disturbing even if Bellamy were actually responsible for Lincoln’s death. Which is highly questionable at the very least. He did come to her and offer to help get Lincoln out, but she chose to distrust him, treat him as a villain and chain him up and went to rescue Lincoln on her own - but Bellamy’s plan was better and he had an opportunity to use Pike’s trust in him, just as he did in this episode. So, one could argue that if Bellamy should be considered partially responsible for Lincoln’s death (for unintentionally setting the chain of events in motion that ended with his death), so should Octavia. But I’m sure it’s much easier for Octavia to blame Bellamy than to blame herself or not have a punching bad to take out her pain on (since Pike is not there), and Bellamy also prefers it that way, both because he cares about Octavia’s well-being more than his own, and because he’s always feeling guilty over things.

This pretty much encapsulates the dysfunctional Blake sibling relationship, which never had a chance to be normal, due to the circumstances they were raised in. He is always doing things to protect her and being self-sacrificial, like a parent towards their child, and she’s blaming him for everything that goes wrong, assuming the worst of him the moment he is not only doing things she is in favor of, and taking things out on him at least half of the time

Unlike something else from another storyline in this episode, I don’t have a problem with how the beating is dealt with in the scene itself – it’s portrayed as a dark and disturbing moment, and Miller and the others are obviously upset. But the fact that, after this, it’s still all framed as Octavia having to forgive Bellamy things and having nothing to feel about or be forgiven for, really bugged me and made me unable to like Octavia again for a long time after this

I don’t know if the show was trying to fool the audience into thinking that Bellamy was really going to hand over Octavia to Pike and betray the rest of the group – I always found it really obvious it was a ploy. Anyone who knows Bellamy would have known he would have never prioiritize Pike over Octavia -  at the time he probably wouldn’t prioritize Octavia over anyone (it took six more years for him to be able not to always put her first), but it wasn’t obvious to Octavia, since she actually believed his ploy.

Octavia wasn’t the only one who treated Bellamy as a villain throughout 3x09-3x10. Kane was also doing that, calling him an enemy an insisting he couldn’t be trusted, and the rest listened to him. Which is interesting, since Bellamy and Monty came to Miller and Harper to offer help after Kane, Lincoln and Sinclair had been condemned to death, and Bellamy has been trying to help since, while everyone is apparently cool with Bryan, who only switched sides after Miller figured out that he was the one spying on him, because he wasn’t able to sacrifice his boyfriend. Maybe Kane, Octavia and the rest were hanging out in The 100 fandom in 2016 too much…    But I guess that’s just the way this show works – the more important a character is, the more blame and punishment they get from everyone and themselves and the more they need to work for redemption, so Clarke gets blamed the most and Bellamy gets blamed for things he didn’t do together with Clarke, while supporting and especially minor characters can get away with much more because the show doesn’t care enough to focus on them.

When Bellamy turns over Pike to the Grounders, which is to ensure peace and lifting of the blockade, Kane asks if he did it because it’s the right thing or for his sister, and when he doesn’t get the answer, points out that it matters, and „Until you understand that, you will still be lost“. Which is a good point, Bellamy does still need at this point to work out some things and not just make his decisions on the fact that he wants to protect Octavia… and Kane, and Lincoln, and Sinclair, and Harper and Miller (because the lives of all of those that made him decide to turn against Pike, though protecting Octavia is what made him decide to give up Pike to the Grounders. It should be about general principles rather than just protecting those you care about… So why is this one of the moments where I find Kane kind of irritating? There’s something about the way he gives his mentorship advice that grates on me at times, even if he’s making good points – he sometimes comes off kinda of condescending.

Unfortunately, this episode has another plot – everything in Polis with Ontari and Murphy. Even after everything else that I had a problem with this season, everything involving Ontari in this episode is utter trash and feels like it comes from some much cheesier and worse show. If that was the only thing I was judging this episode by, it would get a 1/10. Ontari in general is a terrible character – not because she’s evil, evil people can be good characters, but she’s not.

But that’s not all - he premise is completely nonsensical: she has to prove that she’s a real Commander by… reciting the names of all previous Commanders, which they said only a real Commander would know? What??! That’s like saying only a President of USA would know who the previous Presidents were. You don’t need to have a freaking chip with the memories of dead Presidents to know their names, LMAO.

After the show went two and a half seasons without any rape, but now we get that with Ontari/Murphy… Which wouldn’t be a problem, if the show really acknowledged that and treated it accordingly. But that doesn’t seem to be the case? On the one hand, they make it clear that she has full power over his life and she makes it clear she will kill him if he refuses to have sex with her (what exactly do people think that is? Yet I’ve seen articles describing Ontari as „Murphy’s former lover“!), and he will reiterate that a couple of times later… but the way the scene is portrayed is at odds with that – tit’s all sexualized, they even use the same music as in the Clarke/Niylah consensual sex scene in 3x01..it all feels very  It can’t be rape when it’s a dude being forced to have sex with hawt chick, har har, right? Ugh. The worst scene in show’s history.

Timeline: The amount of time that passed between since 3x09 and the end of this episode is the amount of time that Clarke needed to get from Polis to Arkadia - so probably about a day, which is the case with most episodes (except 3x03, which took place a week after 3x02, and I don’t know how much time passed between 3x05 and 3x06 – a day or a few days). I guess this means this takes place some 16-18 days since 3x01.

Body count:

Three Arkadia guards who were with Pike, shot by Grounder arrows

Shawn Gilmer, stabbed by Octavia – because of course she was going to take a chance to finish that dude.

(Not really body count since the poor guy didn’t die – I guess – but there’s a scene where Ontari gets to be Ontari and gorge out an emissary’s eyes, after he has questioned her authority.)

Rating: 4.5/10

[segadores-y-soldados]

Null Point

Part 3 of “Retribution and Reapercussions” and “Those Who Rise Up”: exploring the consequences of “Retribution” on the characters of Overwatch.  The timeframe for this covers the Null Sector’s uprising and Akande’s arrest by Overwatch agents.  This is an unknown timespan but likely covers approximately several months to maybe a year.

This part will cover Null Sector’s uprising, including how they were likely backed or supported by Akande’s “new” Talon, and how Talon (in the present day) intends to help start another Omnic Uprising in King’s Row.  It also covers Akande’s arrest by Winston, Tracer, and Genji, and explores how he was likely betrayed by Vialli (either to Overwatch directly, via Moira, or through other parties, such as Helix Securities).

A follow-up to “Long Reasons Not to Trust Moira in Retribution”, “A Clash of Kings,” the post about the declassified Blackwatch memorandum on Venice, a post about Overwatch and Blackwatch investigating their own organization, “The Immortal Soldier?”, and other essays.  The ones linked above are the most important at the moment.

Additional essays and posts related to this topic: “Tal Pai, Tal Filho”, a write-up on the new Lúcio story and interactions between Lúcio, Symmetra, and Doomfist; a reply to an ask about if the attack on Antonio was planned or not; “An Eye for An Eye”, hypotheses on the new Soldier: 76-Moira interaction and if Soldier is “in” on Reaper’s plan.

Warning: Like “Retribution and Reapercussions” and “Those Who Rise Up”, this essay will be long.  As always, a “Read more” link/cut will be provided, but tumblr mobile is a buggy app, and you may encounter problems with opening this or other links on the app.

Jack: This is Morrison.  London has been attacked!  King’s Row has fallen.  We’re on the brink of open war. Ana: Hundreds are dead, and thousands injured! Jack: Team, it’s up to you.

In terms of the timeline of the fall of Overwatch, the year has “rounded” to the next.  “Retribution,” Akande’s rise to power, Widowmaker’s creation, and likely Tracer’s Slipstream accident all occurred approximately 8 years before “Recall”, and about 2 years before Overwatch’s official disbandment.

It’s difficult to place when in the year (seasonally) Null Sector launches their attack on King’s Row in London, but we can estimate that it roughly occurs in spring, 7 years before “Recall” and 1 year before the official disbandment of Overwatch:

The weather is mild in both Switzerland and England.  Lena’s Slipstream accident (or sabotage) has occurred fairly recently - we can see in the comic that Winston and Mercy are checking on her to make sure her new chronal accelerator works properly.

We know that, internally, Overwatch and Blackwatch had been enjoying a newfound equilibrium, with Gabriel and his trusted Blackwatch agents investigating corrupt or compromised agents.  Overwatch had continued to work on external missions, such as investigating the Shimada clan.

However, relatively recently, the internal balance in the organization has shifted.

Talon has just recently made a horrific and effective assassination against the prominent Blackwatch agent and lead anti-Talon investigator, Gérard Lacroix.  Internally, Overwatch and Blackwatch believe Talon has kidnapped - and possibly killed - his wife Amélie.  However, “we the audience” know that Amélie has returned to Talon for further conditioning and training, to be recrafted into the sniper Widowmaker.

With Blackwatch losing their “leads” on Talon, and with Overwatch decommissioning the Slipstream teleporting fighter jet due to its rather convenient “accident”, Akande’s revitalized “war-creating” organization is poised to launch a conflict which will engulf the world -

Into a new Crisis.

As the new Doomfist, Ogundimu rose high in Talon and helped to orchestrate a conflict that the organization hoped would someday engulf the world. - Doomfist’s Hero Profile

---

Doomfist on King’s Row (present day):

Omnics will not be kept down forever. The ashes of the Crisis still smolder. This city is a powder keg that could ignite the world. And Talon is the flame.

(A LOT more under the cut!)

Zero-Sum: Null Sector’s uprising

“Retribution” has a number of lines which - when taken together with other pieces of evidence - point to the complexity of the mission (particularly the “masquerade” of emotions going on between Gabriel and Moira, who are trying to outplay and outwit each other).  

“Uprising” has fewer interactions which show the complexity of Null Sector, instead relying on the comic to tell us why the situation in London is complicated: Jack’s hands are tied against sovereign rights, Blackwatch is already suspended, how did Null Sector “[catch Overwatch] off guard,” etc.

If fact, if you don’t pay close attention, Uprising looks extremely straightforward: the Strike Team goes in, takes down the anti-air defenses, brings in Torbjörn’s specialized bomb, and then assaults the Null Sector base before rescuing the hostages.

A much more “heroic” mission than “Retribution.”

But again -

Perspective matters.

Just like how Retribution has narrative shift from Gabriel (comic) to McCree (game), Uprising has a parallel narrative shift, from Jack (comic) to Tracer (game).

Just like how McCree is unaware of certain events that occur in the Retribution comic (e.g. Gabriel meeting with Jack to discuss the possibility of conducting an “off the book” “snatch and grab” mission for Antonio), Tracer is unaware of certain events that are brewing in the background of Uprising: in Overwatch, in Blackwatch, in Talon, and in London itself.  These include the events of “Retribution”, Moira’s betrayal of Blackwatch, Gabriel’s “negotiations” with her (and his masquerade to infiltrate Talon), Akande’s rise to power in Talon, Amélie’s kidnapping and brainwashing, and possibly the “truths” about Tracer’s own Slipstream accident.

In fact, Tracer in Uprising - both the comic and the in-game playable event - fulfills a very classic storytelling type: the Heroine’s Journey.  She is young (approximately 18-19), relatively naive to the more sinister elements of the world around her, brightly optimistic, eager to try out her new abilities, and enthusiastic about doing good in the world.  She is surrounded by older “mentor” and “guide” figures - Reinhardt, Torbjörn, Mercy, Winston, even Jack, Ana, and Gabriel themselves.

While “Retribution” fits the role of a “spy thriller”, with a full-on conspiracy about Moira’s role and her actions that the player is encouraged to uncover, “Uprising” appears to be relatively straightforward as a “rookie’s first mission” tale against a (pretty clearly) immoral or ruthless group, Null Sector.

However, there are a few interactions in “Uprising” that imply it is much more significantly tied to the rest of the events happening around it than it initially appears:

As you play more Uprising, you can come across a very telling interaction between Tracer and Torbjörn:

Tracer: If we don’t stop Null Sector, I don’t know how humans and Omnics could ever live together in peace. Torbjörn: When are we going to learn - you just can’t trust an Omnic. Tracer: Not all Omnics are the same!   Torbjörn: You don’t know what they’re capable of!  Look around you!  This has happened before!  And it’ll happen again!

(source)

At first glance, it appears to be “character-building” - flavor text that demonstrates Tracer as optimistic and hopeful, and Torbjörn as more bitter and jaded.

Except that Torbjörn’s last line is rather...prophetic.

While Uprising-era Torbjörn is obviously biased against Omnics, what his last line actually implies is that the elements which made Null Sector and led to their revolt against the human population of London will coalesce and try again...and again...and again.

Until eventually -

They succeed.

Torbjörn’s line is a follow-up to another set of lines that “we the audience” saw in the “Uprising” comic:

Gabriel: Call them what you want; they have support, especially when you consider how people treat Omnics in the U.K.  Omnics built their cities and did the jobs humans didn’t want to do.  In return: no rights and no citizenship.  What did we expect?  The Magna Carta was written a thousand years ago.

“Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.”

What Gabriel and Torbjörn are both getting at is that the elements and events which led to Null Sector’s uprising are the true issue at the heart of the Omnic revolution.  It is not merely a situation of “terrorists” emerging from the ground to lead a revolt, but, as with everything:

Actions have consequences.

And decisions have repercussions.

While the decision to send in the Overwatch Strike Team into London against sovereign orders was the right choice, it is - and will be - as effective as putting a bandage on a missing limb.

Because the actual elements which helped create and support Null Sector are still present, even after Overwatch is disbanded:

Reaper: Tensions in London are boiling over.  Hasn’t been this bad since after the uprising. Akande: That was a missed opportunity. But who would have thought Overwatch would get involved?

Akande’s line effectively implies that Talon either supported Null Sector by arming them, or possibly created the Omnic group as a sort of shell or staged uprising to spark a war.

This is confirmed by his voicelines on present-day King’s Row, which “occurs” after Mondatta’s death in “Alive”:

Omnics will not be kept down forever. The ashes of the Crisis still smolder. This city is a powder keg that could ignite the world. And Talon is the flame.

Notice that he does not specifically name Null Sector as the “flame” to ignite the world, but Talon.

Even after Overwatch has fallen, both the Omnic discontent in King’s Row and Talon still exist.  Talon has taken steps to set fire to the Omnic discontent by assassinating Mondatta (it is not known if someone on the Talon council gave Widowmaker the order, or if she took the initiative for the mission herself).

However, even at the time of “Uprising”, Talon had taken great, often painful steps to basically prevent or actively hinder Overwatch from getting involved in the Null Sector uprising.  Everything about the uprising points to Talon masking their efforts and involvement while also attempting to stop Overwatch’s actions:

1. Killing Gérard Lacroix.

Assassinating Gérard had a bigger impact than I think many people - both “in-universe” and among the fans - fully realize.  As I wrote in Part 2, “Retribution” actually barely slowed Overwatch down.  While there were internal elements in the organization that may have changed a few things - such as the Blackwatch suspension -  the organization as a whole continued to conduct investigations and missions seemingly without problems.  This includes the on-going investigations against the Shimada clan and likely an investigation against Akande Ogundimu himself:

A lot of this - especially tracking Talon both inside Overwatch and out - was probably due to Gérard’s abilities and his influences.  As a trusted member of Blackwatch, and likely the lead investigator against compromised Overwatch and Blackwatch agents, Gérard was probably very crucial at tracking Talon’s members and their movements.  After all, he is the one who managed to track the seemingly “random” bombing of the Oslo base back to Antonio, a whole continent away.

Removing Gérard changed things, probably significantly and certainly not in a good way for Overwatch and Blackwatch.

Without Gérard, Gabriel likely had to pare down his operations considerably, limiting them only to trusted agents like Jesse McCree and Genji Shimada.  Cutting back the scope of his mission almost certainly impacted Overwatch, which relied on Blackwatch intelligence reports to help handle problems before they “evolved.”  With no one actively tracking or monitoring Talon’s movements past being aware of Akande in Numbani or Oyo, Talon would’ve been able to slip into King’s Row and help build Null Sector’s base of support and weapons’ stockpile.

Which brings me to:

2. “Uprising”-era Talon’s specialty was creating armies and trading weapons.

At the time of “Retribution”, approximately one year before “Uprising”, Talon had already begun experimenting with creating genetically “enhanced” and cybernetically “augmented” soldiers and armies.  While the Talon forces in “Retribution” are all human at their core, what their composition and abilities show is that Talon had adapted to making different paramilitary “classes” capable of working together to destabilize and militarize at the drop of a hat (or the drop of a body).

A point almost never brought up in discussions on Null Sector is:

How did Null Sector get decommissioned Bastions and OR14s?

But during the Omnic Crisis, [the Bastion units] were turned against their human makers, forming the bulk of the omnics' rebel army. Following the resolution of the crisis, nearly all of them were destroyed or disassembled. - Bastion’s Hero Profile

---

Originally put into service before the Omnic Crisis, the OR14 "Idina" line of security robots was built in Nigeria's massive manufacturing omnium. After the war, they were taken out of production, along with many of the other models used during the crisis. Twenty years later, Numbani revived and recommissioned the OR14 program to protect the city from external threats. - Orisa’s Hero Profile

The reveal of the OR14s among Null Sector’s troops should be a pretty solid clue as to who was backing Null Sector:

Orisa, Null Sector skin description: During the King's Row uprising, Null Sector employed redesigned and upgraded OR14 Idina bots to secure the power station.

And who has a long history of fighting Numbani defense bots like the OR14s?

The brand new leader of Talon.

All it takes is capturing a few of the OR14s.

Without Gérard tracking his movements and with Gabriel scaling back Blackwatch operations, Akande is free to start moving some of his “pieces” around in his grand conflict.  Talon agents are able to enter King’s Row and begin bringing in weapons, armaments, and reconditioned Crisis-era bots for Null Sector.

Talon has also learned a pretty significant lesson from the events of Rialto a year before:

3. Anti-air defenses

While the anti-air defenses in-game are mainly just a gameplay mechanic (e.g. capture this point and hack the air defenses), they represent a drastically different approach to tactics and control than Talon showed in Rialto a year earlier.

The whole event of “Retribution” is “mission goes wrong - run like hell to the evacuation point” so that a Blackwatch dropship can rescue the team.  The mission - for both Blackwatch and Talon - is messy, resulting in Blackwatching being revealed to the public, but also resulting in massive losses for Talon.  Antonio’s entire force is basically decimated by four people, and they successfully escape on the dropship.

A year later, Talon and Null Sector aren’t taking any chances.

The anti-air defenses are massive and effectively prevent any forces - Overwatch, the U.K., any allies, etc - from entering London’s air space.  It allows the siege of the city to go on for nearly a full month.  With the anti-air defenses around, not even bombs or EMPs can be dropped, because the defensive turrets shoot them out of the sky before they land.

It is also interesting that the Null Sector uprising occurs after the Slipstream has been removed from Overwatch’s project docket.  Again, while a lot of this is designed around gameplay over story, it very conveniently fits together as the backdrop for Tracer’s first mission.

Akande: That was a missed opportunity. But who would have thought Overwatch would get involved?

Uprising-era Akande and probably several of his Talon allies and followers likely believed that they had an ace in the hole with Null Sector: Blackwatch was suspended, the major Blackwatch agent investigating them was dead, the UK refused Overwatch’s help, and the situation in London was reaching “critical mass”.  They had total control over the city, Null Sector was armed to the (metaphorical) teeth, several valuable hostages had been taken, and with the entire situation stalling out, it was only a matter of time before the conflict boiled over into other Omnic-tense countries or locations, such as Russia or Australia.

Except:

Someone had his own plans.

Remember: with Gérard’s death, Gabriel has likely stepped up his own personal “plan” of bringing retribution on Talon and Null Sector.  Unlike Retribution, he has learned his lesson and will not be hasty or emotional in his movements.  He is much more patient this time, calmer, more methodical.  He recognizes, however, that he has to risk someone, but instead of risking 3-4 people on a reconnaissance mission, he sends in just one: McCree.  Gabriel also acts as one of the commanders leading the Strike Team through Null Sector’s defenses and base.

The truly ingenious part of Gabriel’s involvement in Uprising?

Moira and Akande likely have no idea.

Akande, Masquerade: “That was a missed opportunity.  But would would have thought Overwatch would get involved?”

If Gabriel has actually started infiltrating Talon under the guise of “Reaper,” and/or he has some sort of “compromise” with Moira, it is likely that neither Moira nor Talon realize what his role was during the course of Uprising.

After all, Gabriel doesn’t actually want recognition of his work:

Moira: Antonio was right about one thing - you will take the blame for this. Gabriel: Always have.  I don’t need the statues and medals anyways.

---  

McCree: Is this what we’ve become, Gabriel? Gabriel: Blackwatch has always had one purpose: to do the real work of keeping the world safe.  I thought you had the stomach for it.  Looks like I was wrong.

What’s also very important here is that we get a glimpse into some of the leading relationships and partnerships in Overwatch, one year after “Retribution”.

Things are terse but not angry nor bitter.  The stress stems from the situation in London, not the situation in Overwatch itself:

Important in both “Retribution” and “Uprising” (the comics) is that both Gabriel and Jack innately and instinctively trust each other.

And before it gets brought up:

Yes, the parallels in both art and story between the two comics is 100% intentional:

From Gray Shuko’s Art Station, his alternate cover designs for the “Retribution” comic show that callbacks to the “Uprising” comic were absolutely intentional in how the second comic was designed, drawn, detailed, and written.

I know it is tempting to read Gabriel’s actions in “Uprising” as being unfriendly, unhelpful, or sarcastic:

But what’s important to remember is that this is an exact mirror of how Jack displayed his trust and faith in Gabriel’s decision a year before:

Jack: I’ll leave the final call to you, but ask yourself...in the long run, will this help Overwatch keep the world safe?

As an addition here, we also have to remember the influence of characters such as Ana and Tracer in “Uprising”, and Gérard and McCree in “Retribution”.

Both comics feature at least one character “pressuring” the respective commander into making “the right choice” but for reasons the commander considers unwise or hasty (even if those reasons are morally or ethically correct).  

In “Retribution”, this character is McCree:

McCree: We should be sending a stronger message!

In “Uprising” -

This role is split between two principle characters:

The first is Ana.

Jack: You think we should get involved. Ana: I didn’t say that.  But in the end, it should our choice.  Your choice.

It’s interesting and very insightful that Ana is the “hotheaded” and reckless character in the “Uprising” comic (a personality point we will see come back to severely haunt her later).  While she certainly stands for justice - just as McCree does in “Retribution” - she advocates for intervention for a moralistic reason, not necessarily the...honest one.

The second character who fits this role is Mercy:

Mercy: This is what Overwatch was made for.  Instead of wasting time sitting on the sidelines, we could be saving lives. Jack: I don’t disagree, Doctor, but my hands are tied. Mercy: Well, that’s not good enough Jack, and a lot of people are going to die.

While Ana tries to argue for intervention in favor of justice or righteousness, Mercy argues in favor of ethics and humanitarian efforts.

Jack, however, knows neither Ana’s sense of justice nor Mercy’s sense of ethics  will be “reason enough” for Petras, or the U.K. Prime Minister -

Or even Jack’s own personal sense of duty.

In fact, it isn’t until Lena “Tracer” Oxton arrives that Jack is finally reminded of the real reason Overwatch exists...

And what it stands to protect.

Tracer: It’s because I believe that if I could figure this out, I could be an asset.  I could make this world a better place.  I fought to survive, and I’m willing to fight for the world, too.  I might be out line, sir, but I won’t apologize.

Jack: I remember when the Crisis broke out aross America.  It’s why I enlisted, and why I signed up for the enhancement program.  They were willing to try anything.  Commander Reyes and I... Well, they tried everything.  But politics, mismanagement, egos... At the end of the day, Overwatch was the only way to win that war.  But we had to be given a chance.

Tracer: You still have one, sir.

---

Tracer is the one who gives Jack the reason that actually gets under his skin and into the core of his character:

A willingness to try to make the world better -

And the people he must take that risk for.

Which very strongly parallels:

Again, I believe it is tempting to read Gabriel’s lines and his actions in “Uprising” as sarcastic or as uninterested, but given the context of “Retribution” and the nature of Gabriel and Jack’s partnership, it is not particularly surprising for one to provide the other with information, advice, or insight, and then let the other make his choice as he needs to.

They have faith that the other commander will make the right decision not out of justice or ethics or tactics -

But for personal reasons.

For reasons that affect the core of who they are - both individually, and together.

We also need to remember that Gabriel returns to the Swiss Base situation room a day later, fully prepared and willing to help guide the Overwatch Strike Team through Null Sector’s base - 

By Jack’s side once again.

The “year” spanning Retribution to Uprising is an interesting one - one with a lot of gaps in “our” knowledge, one where we don’t know everything, nor do we know why the different events happen the way they do.  We do not know if Jack is aware of Gabriel’s own plans or his actions, or vice-versa.

However, we do see that other characters put pressure or vocalize arguments that may not cut the commanders to the core, but instead, Gabriel and Jack are able to - and continue to - influence each other in small and deeply emotional ways.

For Gabriel in “Retribution,” it was Jack asking him if his decision would keep the world safe...or for Gabriel, if doing this would help keep Jack safe.

For Jack in “Uprising”, it was Lena reminding Jack of why he had joined Overwatch at all - a decision he had made with his “Commander Reyes” nearly twenty-three years before.

Iron-y: Akande is arrested

We are shown Akande’s arrest by Overwatch in his Origin story.  Once again, like the other Origin stories, his narration is from his own perspective, and tells us about his ideology that conflict makes humanity (and Omnics) stronger.

However, we are also shown facts about his arrest:

It occurs after Akande has “become” Doomfist, thus occuring after he overthrows Akinjide.

It takes place in Numbani.  The three Overwatch members who conduct the arrest are Winston, Tracer, and Genji.  Therefore, the arrest occurs after Uprising (Tracer’s first Strike Team mission) and before Genji formally leaves Overwatch.

However, we can also surmise and guess at a few things.

The Origins video shows what appears to be Akande “counting” Tracer’s Blinks (and her Recall) or at least very quickly discerning a pattern in her movements.

Akande appears to be the first person to ever correctly target Tracer’s chronal accelerator as both her major strength and her major weakness.

However, what Akande quickly discovers is that when Winston is furious -

He becomes exponentially more dangerous.

Akande’s emotions barely show on his face, but we get a split second of him realizing what he’s done.

In the present day, this fight is jokingly referred to as an “embarrassment” by Sombra, to which Akande replies (only partially joking):

Sombra: Isn't it a little embarassing to get beaten up by a monkey? Doomfist: Have you ever been hit by a giant, genetically engineered gorilla? I could arrange it for you...

And Akande appears to have a very personal vendetta against Winston in particular:

Doomfist: I didn't forget about you. Winston: I stopped you once. I can do it again!

We are shown that, in prison, Akande keeps articles on current events, especially ones focusing on Winston's movements.

However, while we can state a few clear facts about Akande’s arrest, there are some intriguing elements that are more...perspective-based.  These come when we compare Akande’s arrest to two things:

Antonio’s monologue in “Retribution”

And the events of the “Masquerade” comic.

Akande’s perspective of his arrest is...very different from the “audience” perspective of it.

You remember the part of Retribution where Antonio says that his “friends” would get him released from prison within a week?

Akande doesn’t need friends for that.

Akande can literally punch his way out of prison.

Nothing is keeping him locked in there.

As the new Doomfist, Ogundimu rose high in Talon and helped to orchestrate a conflict that the organization hoped would someday engulf the world. However, before their plan came to fruition, Ogundimu was defeated and captured by an Overwatch strike team that included Tracer, Winston, and Genji. He was imprisoned in a maximum-security facility for years, where he waited patiently for events he had incited to play out.

Finally, he sensed that the time had come for him to return. He broke out of his prison and recovered Doomfist's gauntlet in a one-sided battle with Numbani's newly unveiled OR15 defense robots.

---

So what exactly made Akande sit in prison and wait for 6-7 years?  After all, Overwatch was likely disbanded within months to a year of his initial imprisonment - wasn’t that what he wanted?

I think the explanation is two-fold:

Externally, even though Overwatch has collapsed and disappeared, the Second Omnic Crisis - which was actually Akande’s true goal - never fully materialized.  The “aftereffects” of Overwatch’s peace - protected and maintained for so long - continued to linger, and it took another slow “build up” of tension, chaos, and struggle to create the tinder required to make that peace burn again:

Internally, however -

Talon likely went through a second major shift in alliances just before the fall of Overwatch.

And this time:

Akande took the fall.

All throughout the “Masquerade” comic, there are hints and implications that Vialli - the man who took over Antonio’s faction of Talon forces - either betrayed or set up Akande to go to prison.

Maximilien is surprised that Akande “looks well.”  When Akande calls him out on it, Maximilien replies with:

Maximilien: Prison is a hard place.  Accidents happen all the time. Akande: I’m very careful. Maximilien: Apparently.

The implication being that an “accident” (or several) were likely set up for Akande throughout his time in prison, but Akande either “avoided” them or managed to stop them.

Immediately after that exchange, Maximilien effectively warns Akande that his return will not be entirely welcome to everyone in Talon:

Maximilien: There are those in our organization who will be quite pleased to have you back, but some have concerns...about whether you will keep the money flowing. Akande: I will deal with them.  They need to be reminded about their parts. Maximilien: I wonder, my friend.  You’re not as popular as you used to be.  Many were happy to see you go away. Akande: Not you, of course. Maximilien: Of course not.  We have history.  And I respect a man with vision. Sombra, on comms: Heads up, boss.  Company headed your way.

Vialli’s men then proceed to attack Akande and Widowmaker in the casino.  When Akande asks, “Who are they?” Maximilien simply repeats:

As I said...many were happy to see you go away.

Akande’s arrest, his time in prison, the fact that his “war” never fully materialized even when Overwatch was gone, and the events of the “Masquerade” comic likely confirmed Akande’s suspicions that someone (or several someones) in Talon had set him up for a battle with Overwatch.

Which parallels this moment

A lot.

Someone - almost certainly Vialli - set up Akande to be arrested by Overwatch.  

We don’t know how Overwatch got this information: whether it came from Vialli to Moira to someone like Gabriel, or if Gabriel himself started tracking Akande’s movements, or if Vialli and a third party - likely Helix Securities - gave up information to Overwatch and/or the United Nations in exchange for future favors.

Often unnoticed in the discussion of the fall of Overwatch is Helix Security International (or Helix Securities): a private military and security company that secures a very lucrative and profitable contract with the United Nations and individual countries after Overwatch is disbanded:

Questions have been raised about the effectiveness and methodology of Helix, which in recent years, has greatly increased its profile as the world's security force. But after a number of high profile incidents, including the breach of a similarly top-secret facility in Egypt, those who have objected to the increased privatization of security following the shuttering of Overwatch will have been dismayed that Helix has requested, and been granted, additional funding by the UN to cope with rising threats.

(Source)

It is not a coincidence that the prison where Akande is confined is either owned or managed by Helix:

NUMBANI —Three months after initial reports of an incident at Helix Security International's classified maximum security installation, a more complete picture of what happened has emerged. Information and details of what happened were scarce as has been any news from the installation, said to be a prison for the world's most dangerous threats. However, after recent events in Numbani, it can now be confirmed that what occurred was an attack by the Talon organization with the express purpose of freeing one man: Akande Ogundimu, better known as Doomfist.

It is also not a coincidence that (in the present day) Helix is currently in charge of the confinement of the Anubis A.I. in Giza, Egypt - a facility that a certain bounty hunter has some intense interest in watching - and is also the employer of Fareeha Amari, Ana Amari’s daughter.

While the story of Overwatch so far has really centered on companies like LumériCo, Volskaya, and Vishkar, it is Helix Securities who is the “big winner” after the fall of Overwatch, gaining control over the majority of Overwatch’s old Watchpoints as well as gaining access to the organization’s technology and military gear.

What “Masquerade” shows is an added complexity to the Helix puzzle: prior to the comic, even though the company was shady as all hell, it was possible to write it off as a slightly incompetent private company up against “threats” much bigger or smarter or more sophsicated than itself (whether that’s Talon or Reaper or “Soldier: 76″ or “The Shrike” or Sombra, take your pick).

However, with the addition that someone (again, almost certainly Vialli) sold out Akande and he conveniently ended up in a Helix-run prison - which he had the physical power to escape from but not necessarily the social or political power - there’s the implication that Helix Securities (or people within it) were cooperating with Vialli for some sort of reward.

Like say:

Advanced Overwatch military weaponry?

Or possibly

Experimentation on Artificial Intelligence Programs?

Whatever the case may be, Helix Securities profited from the fall of Overwatch significantly.

And Akande’s arrest is a suspicious part of that.

Vialli (and maybe a few others) don’t particularly care who wins in the battle between Akande and Overwatch: if Akande wins, three major Overwatch agents are dead.  If Overwatch wins, Akande is sent to prison, where an “accident” can take care of him.�� Vialli becomes “king” of the Talon castle, Helix Securities’ reputation goes up, Overwatch still falls, everyone in Talon “wins”.

Except for Akande, of course.

And for a time, Vialli probably thinks he gets the best of both worlds: Overwatch still collapses, and Akande stays in prison.  Sure, those “accidents” aren’t killing him, but at least he’s “stuck” inside, out of Vialli’s way.

When Akande and Vialli finally meet face-to-face several years later, Vialli is confident enough in his position within Talon to make pretty transparent “threats” towards Akande.  What Vialli doesn’t realize is that all his security has been, uh, “disposed of”:

And there is no one who will come to help him.

However, the same can be said for Akande in “Masquerade”:

He has appeared to walk right into “Reaper’s” hands talons.

What Akande apparently doesn’t recognize is that his new “ally” Reaper is very interested in Akande’s own “future downfall.”  Reaper appears to position himself quite well here - he’s “in” with the most powerful leader in Talon, newly returned from prison, he’s got “tabs” on the troublemaker (Sombra, whom Reaper may actually be secretly cooperating with) which buys him some “trustworthiness” to Akande and Moira, he’s got a working relationship with Moira where he may eventually be cured -

And now he has a seat on the Talon council.

If Reaper’s goal is the destruction of Talon, or usurping its powers and armies for himself, he’s now poised in a very nice spot for that -

Which will allow him to hurt Talon the same way Talon hurt Overwatch...

However...

Although Null Sector fails...

Although Talon’s greatest leader is arrested...

Overwatch still falls.

And it is because -

Even if you have the best intentions -

Actions have consequences.

And decisions have repercussions.

For better.

Or for worse.

[orbemnews]

Janet Yellen Drops Hints What Janet Yellen thinks The Treasury secretary opened the DealBook DC Policy Project yesterday, one of the few media interviews she has given since taking the job last month. Although she was typically understated in her conversation with Andrew, she dropped hints about some of her biggest priorities. Here’s what we think she’s planning: On jobs: Ms. Yellen said that the goal was to “get unemployment down to the levels we enjoyed prior to the crisis.” But she’s looking beyond the headline unemployment rate at bigger, broader numbers, and believes that the government has capacity to take on even more debt — suggesting she’ll push for more stimulus and other policies to goose the economy. On taxes: Don’t expect Ms. Yellen to support an Elizabeth Warren-style wealth tax. But the Treasury secretary suggested that she might support closing some loopholes in the tax code, including carried interest and, intriguingly, the “stepped up” basis of estate transfers. On crypto: Ms. Yellen dismissed Bitcoin, calling it an “extremely inefficient way of conducting transactions.” But she said it “makes sense” to consider a so-called digital dollar run by the central bank, in the first comments she has appeared to make about the idea. This could lead to “faster, safer and cheaper payments,” she said, an important statement of intent for crypto regulation in the coming years. Highlights from the other sessions yesterday: “It’s not my objective to run Amazon out of town.” The attorney general of New York, Letitia James, talked about protecting people against powerful business interests, including her recent suit against Amazon over workplace safety during the pandemic. “These big tech companies stifle competition, innovation, creativity,” she said. “Our product is missed.” The C.E.O. of Delta, Ed Bastian, spoke about the future of travel and about when the airline would start selling middle seats again. “The pent-up need and urge and desire to travel is like never before,” he said, though he noted that virus fears would make international travel slower to recover than domestic flights. “It is troubling to me — very troubling — that people don’t believe government numbers.” Microsoft’s former chief, Steve Ballmer, founded the nonprofit USAFacts to make economic data more accessible and understandable. In a chart-filled chat, he ran down the numbers on economic growth, jobs and more in an attempt to identify priorities for stimulus spending, minimum-wage policies and the like. To watch video replays of all the sessions, visit our live briefing. HERE’S WHAT’S HAPPENING The U.S. reaches a grim pandemic milestone. More than 500,000 people have died from Covid-19, the worst absolute death toll in the world. President Biden marked the moment with a solemn ceremony at the White House. Donald Trump loses a final bid to shield his tax returns. The Supreme Court rejected the former president’s effort to prevent Manhattan’s district attorney, Cyrus Vance, from obtaining his financial records. Just as important, Mr. Vance could get access to additional records from Mr. Trump’s accountants. Facebook and Australia reach a compromise over sharing news stories. The social network agreed to restore users’ ability to post news links after Australia agreed to minor concessions on a law that would require tech platforms to pay for articles that appear on their sites. BlackRock clarifies its climate change goals. A spokesman for the money-management giant told The Times’s Peter Eavis and Cliff Krauss that its “ambition” was to have its entire investment portfolio reach net zero emissions by 2050. But many corporate giants either haven’t set emissions targets or are struggling to meet their stated goals. SoftBank nears a settlement with Adam Neumann of WeWork. The Japanese tech giant is close to an agreement to buy half as much of Mr. Neumann’s stake in WeWork than previously agreed. A deal could help pave the way for SoftBank to sell WeWork to a SPAC. Victoria’s Secret reaches out to private equity again Less than a year after the pandemic doomed an effort to sell Victoria’s Secret to the investment firm Sycamore Partners, the lingerie chain’s owner, L Brands, will again test private equity’s appetite for the business, DealBook has learned. L Brands’ bankers at Goldman Sachs will begin formally pitching buyout firms about a potential takeover as soon as this week, according to people with knowledge of the matter. L Brands said this month that it was weighing a sale or spinoff of Victoria’s Secret by August, as it focuses on its faster-growing Bath & Body Works division. In a statement, L Brands’s C.F.O., Stuart Burgdoerfer, said that Victoria’s Secret had “substantially increased its valuation” and that L Brands was still evaluating all options for the business. Victoria’s Secret has embarked on a turnaround since the Sycamore sale collapsed. A priority has been overhauling its brand, as younger customers shunned its overtly sexy products for alternatives focused on comfort and criticized its marketing as exclusionary. The lingerie market is in demand. A recent investment valued Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty brand at $1 billion, for example. For prospective buyers, Victoria’s Secret remains a well-known label with a sizable market share. But potential acquirers may have one lingering concern: the continuing investigations and shareholder lawsuits about the ties between L Brands’ chairman, Les Wexner, and Jeffrey Epstein. “It’s just embarrassingly bad.” — Jennifer Doleac, an economist at Texas A&M, who co-wrote a study that found women presenting research at economics seminars faced more questions than men and were more likely to receive questions that were patronizing or hostile. A record SPAC deal gets the cold shoulder Wall Street has wondered for months what Churchill Capital IV, a nearly $2 billion SPAC, would buy. But after it finally confirmed that it would merge with the electric carmaker Lucid, investors soured on the news — a potential turning point for the blank-check boom. The deal will take Lucid public at a $24 billion valuation, one of the biggest SPAC transactions to date. To finance the deal, Churchill Capital IV set a record for a so-called PIPE, raising money from Saudi Arabia’s sovereign wealth fund, BlackRock, Fidelity and others. But Churchill Capital IV’s shares tumbled 30 percent in after-hours trading following the announcement. That wasn’t down to surprise — news reports about a merger with Lucid have been around for weeks — but may instead be rooted in the financial terms of the deal: The PIPE investors paid the equivalent of $15 per share, a premium to the SPAC’s net asset value, but nearly 75 percent below where Churchill Capital IV’s stock was trading before the announcement. (That said, shares in Churchill Capital IV had soared in recent weeks, thanks in part to recommendations on Reddit forums.) Andrew’s take: “Hey CCIV investors: You realize the PIPE investors, who actually got to see the books of Lucid, paid $15 a share while they literally watched retail buy at $40 and $50 and $60 a share? I’ve mentioned before these structures can create misalignment. Not always. But sometimes.” The big question: Is the bloom coming off the SPAC boom? The Lucid deal may turn out to be a good investment in the long term. But any increase in skepticism about blank-check funds could endanger the stratospheric growth in the sector. In other SPAC news, DealBook’s Lauren Hirsch writes about today’s $8.5 billion deal between Ardagh, which makes cans used by drink brands like LaCroix and White Claw, and a blank-check fund run by the serial SPAC founder Alec Gores. Bitcoin’s bad energy Among the reasons Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen is skeptical of the promise of Bitcoin (see above) is its energy use. As she told Andrew yesterday, “It’s an extremely inefficient way to conduct transactions and the amount of energy consumed in those transactions is staggering.” The more Bitcoin is worth, the more energy is burned. “Bitcoin is energy inefficient by its very nature,” Charles Hoskinson, the C.E.O. of the blockchain engineering firm IOHK, told DealBook. “The more its price rises, the more competition there is for the currency, leading its energy requirements to rise exponentially.” So-called miners use computers to solve increasingly complex mathematical puzzles to verify transactions, earning Bitcoin for the work. This consumes huge amounts of energy, equivalent to a midsize country’s power use. One Bitcoin transaction has the carbon footprint of 700,000 Visa payments, said Alex de Vries, an economist who created the Bitcoin Energy Consumption Index. (Smaller estimates still reckon it’s in the tens of thousands of equivalent credit card transactions.) “The Bitcoin network already requires half the amount of electrical energy to operate as all global data centers combined,” Mr. de Vries asserted. Miners could migrate to renewable power sources, but he cautioned that such operations need cheap and consistent power. And there is an electronic waste issue: Bitcoin mining requires highly specialized equipment that has a short life span and can’t be repurposed. At the time of writing, the price of Bitcoin is down sharply, nearly 20 percent off the high it set this weekend. THE SPEED READ Deals Politics and policy Dominion Voting Systems sued Mike Lindell, the C.E.O. of MyPillow, for $1.3 billion over his public touting of baseless election fraud claims involving the voting machine maker. (NYT) Tech What “nonfungible tokens” are, and why people are paying thousands of dollars for them. (NYT) Remember Long Blockchain, the onetime iced-tea company that refocused on crypto technology? It was delisted by the S.E.C. for failing to report its financials. (Bloomberg) Best of the rest Just one U.S. company went public with an all-male board last year. (Bloomberg) There’s a glut of luxury New York City homes being put up for sale by hedge fund tycoons moving to Florida. (WSJ) “Is McKinsey losing its mystique?” (FT) We’d like your feedback! Please email thoughts and suggestions to dealbook@nytimes.com. Source link Orbem News #DROPS #Hints #Janet #Yellen

[mitchbeck]

CANTLON: HOCKEY NEWS AND NOTES VOLUME 4 PART 1

eing t: Gerry Cantlon, Howlings HARTFORD, CT - The Hartford Wolf Pack hockey season stopped suddenly but is still getting awards from across the hockey universe. Wolf Pack captain, Steven Fogarty, was named the winner of the Wolf Pack's IOA/American Specialty Team Man-Of-The-Year. He and the winners from the other 31 AHL Teams became eligible to win the AHL Yanick Dupre Award. Over the past five seasons and recently as the Wolf Pack team captain this year, Fogarty is one of the most admired players both on-and-off the ice. Fogarty is a Notre Dame grad and always expresses his calm and friendly demeanor toward fans, teammates, and media alike, and always willing to participate in ways to help the community. He's attended several fan-related events, volunteered his time at shelters, worked with youth programs such as the Police Athletic League (PAL), the annual Bowl-a-Thon for Special Olympics, and many other team-related community initiatives. Fogarty, of Edina, MN, was actively involved in youth/school reading programs, has made several hospital visits at the Connecticut Children's Medical Center in Newington, and has been a leader behind the commitment and participation of Wolf Pack players at community and team events. Fogarty is now one of 31 finalists for the AHL's 2019-20 Yanick Dupre Memorial Award, honoring the overall winner of the IOA/American Specialty AHL Man-Of-The-Year. The naming of the Yanick Dupre Award is after the former Hershey Bears forward and AHL All-Star who died in 1997 following a 16-month battle with leukemia. The announcement of the winner of the Yanick Dupre Memorial Award will be later this spring. The first winner of the award was defenseman John Jakopin from the Beast of New Haven in 1997-98. Jakopin played one season for the Wolf Pack 2003-04. Some other team winners include Sound Tigers winner, goaltender, Christopher Gibson, former Wolf Pack, Daniel Walcott (Syracuse), and former Yale University Bulldog, Kenny Agostino (Toronto). Another milestone day would be this Good Friday. It would have been the last regular season home game for the Wolf Pack scheduled against the Lehigh Valley Phantoms. The day was to be the celebration of the 2000 Calder Cup Championship team complete with the Calder Cup, autograph and picture signings, and a post-game party at the Tavern, but, like everything else, the COVID-19 pandemic caused its cancelation. Those scheduled to attend included Derek Armstrong, Brad "Shooter" Smyth, Terry Virtue, Todd Hall, J.F. Labbe, Tony Tuzzolino, P.J. Stock, Daniel Goneau, Mike Harder, Chris Kenady, Stefan Cherneski, and head coach John Paddock. Also on the invite list would have been Medical trainer Tim Macre and equipment manager Jason Levy, then Wolf Pack GM, Don Maloney, and Rangers president Neil Smith. Former Wolf Pack reporters, Bruce Berlet (Hartford Courant), and George Dalek (Meriden Record-Journal) were also going to take part in the festivities. TOM WEBSTER Sad news for New Englan / Hartford Whaler fans was the passing of Tom Webster, 71, of brain cancer at his home in Windsor, Ontario, with family at his side. His wife, Carole, passed away earlier in the past year. His daughter, Stacy, and his son, Brent, as well as grandchildren, survive him. Webster was "Mr. New England Whaler." He played six-of-their-seven WHA years, and his number 8 brought many a cheer at Hartford Civic Center in the glistening early years of professional hockey in Hart City. Bruce Landon, the then goalie for the New England Whalers, was complimentary in praise, "Tom was a great guy and good teammate, tremendous player. It's a sad day for hockey," Webster finished first with 215 career goals and 425 points. He was third in assists with 205, just behind Larry Pleau and Rick Ley. Webster was fourth in games played at 352 games behind only Rick Ley, Brad Selwood, and Larry Pleau. He finished as the 13th all-time leading goalscorer in the seven wild years of the WHA. The WHA elected him to their Hall-Of-Fame in 2012. He hung with the best of the WHA, including Real "Buddy" Cloutier, Robbie Ftorek, Anders Hedberg, and eventual teammate, Andre Lacroix. Webster topped the Whalers as their only 50-goal scorer in franchise history (53) and 103 points in their first season in Boston winning their Avco Cup title and first and only franchise title. "He was a dynamic player," commented former teammate, Tim Sheehy from Florida. "He, Terry Caffery, and Brit Silby were an excellent line. Silby was an NHL Calder Trophy winner (with Toronto in 1965-66), and Caffery (WHA Rookie of the Year) set him up so many times. He was a great finisher." In Webster's second season, he didn't lead the team in scoring. He was second by two points behind John French with 43 goals and 70 points. In the first year in Hartford, 1974-'75, he finished second to Wayne Carleton but tallied 40 goals and 64 points. In 1975-76 Webster was limited to just 55 games due to injuries but still managed to lead the Whalers with 33 goals and 83 points for the Kelly-Green harpooned logo Whalers. In 1976-77 he scored 33 goals and 85 points behind only Mike Rogers in assists. In 1977-78 his last active season in Hartford, his severe back injury limited him to just 20 games, but he was a point-a-game producer still with 15 goals and 20 points. The Whalers knocked off Edmonton and Quebec before losing in four to the mighty Winnipeg Jets in the Avco Cup final. He missed the entire last season of New England Whaler 1978-79 because of third back surgery. Many New England Whaler fans felt Webster's number eight should have been retired instead of the late Johnny "Pie" McKenzie's 19. Howard Baldwin, Sr. strictly did it, to antagonize the Bruins. The Bruins led by owner Jeremy Jacobs never voted for the Whalers to be a part of the NHL and forced them to abandon New England from their team name as a price of admission into the NHL. It was then and still is, a glaring oversight that it was never retired. After a low-ball post-career job offer, Webster ended his playing days in Glen Falls, NY, with a brand new AHL team, the Adirondack Red Wings as a player-coach and got in his last NHL game with Detroit. Before landing in Hartford, Webster was drafted by the Boston Bruins with the fourth pick, 19th overall, in the 1966 NHL Draft. They were the last six team draft before the first NHL expansion in 1967. He led the Niagara Falls Flyers and then OHA (now OHL) ins scoring 50 goals and 114 points in 54 games winning the Eddie Powers Trophy, but was voted only to the OHA Second All-Star team. The team won their second Memorial Cup in three years by downing the Estevan Bruins in five games with Webster scoring the double-overtime winner in Game 4, still the longest game in Memorial Cup history. Webster posted 18 points in 10 games of the tournament In 1965, they beat the Edmonton Oil Kings in five games as well in Edmonton. The 1968 team would feature three future New England Whaler teammates in Gary Swain, who finished number two behind him in scoring, Rick Ley and Brad Selwood and two future NHL'ers, Phil Roberto and Phil Myre. He played at the beginning of the early big, bad Bruins before they won a pair of Stanley Cups, but only got 11 games in three years. He played two years in Oklahoma City (CHL) before being involved in a merry-go-round of transactions. The Buffalo Sabres took him in the 1970 NHL expansion draft on June 10, 1970, but before he ever got to wear a Sabres sweater, he was dealt the same day to Detroit for Roger Crozier. Webster took advantage of the chance with the Red Wings and, in 1970-71, led them in scoring in 78 games with 30 goals and 67 points. Webster played on the last Gordie Howe Red Wing team that also featured Alex Delvecchio, Garry Unger, Red Berenson, and future star a rookie named, Mickey Redmond. He would play against Howe in the WHA when he was in Houston and was reunited with him on the New England Whalers in 1977. In 1971-72 his back problems first surfaced that saw him limited him to five games with the Red Wings and was traded again to the California Golden Seals for Ron Stackhouse on October 22, 1971. Then four months later, on February 12, 1972, he was taken in the WHA General Draft by the New England Whalers, and his hockey course was set. Webster had an even longer coaching career starting with an AHL Calder Cup championship for Adirondack in 1980-81 in just their second year of existence and the first of four the franchise would have. After two years, he went to coach the Tulsa Oilers in the old Central Hockey League, winning the title with future Whaler Dave Barr and future Ranger and current Vegas President of Hockey Ops, George McPhee. He then migrated to Salt Lake City (IHL) and was hired by the Rangers, but he coached just 15 games with Rangers in 1985-86 before resigning, because an acute inner ear infection prevented him from flying. Webster then spent two years with Windsor (OHL) in a bus orientated league from 1987-89, leading the Spitfires to their first OHL championship. The team had a 21 game playoff winning streak in 1988, getting to the Memorial Cup final in Chicoutimi, Quebec, but wound up losing in heartbreaking fashion 7-6 to the Medicine Hat Tigers coached by Barry Melrose. The team featured Ranger great Adam Graves and two current NHL coaches Peter DeBoer and Paul Maurice and NHL playing brothers, Darryl and Darrin Shannon. Maurice, who collected his 700th win this season, holds Webster as his primary coaching role model. "Tom Webster would be the guy," he said." He was my junior coach, who I eventually hired as an assistant coach in the NHL. He would absolutely be the man who influenced me the most. Really, really intense guy, but a big family guy, very emotional guy. Systems. That was kind of the first time I heard of the word systems, like, 'Hey, we've got a plan here.' After coaching the 1989 Canadian National Junior Team at the WJC tournament in Anchorage, Alaska finishing fourth, Webster returned to the NHL. He spent four years as the head coach of the Los Angeles Kings from 1989-1992 amassing, a solid record of 115-94-31 helping the Kings win their first franchise division title in 1991. Ironically, he was replaced with Barry Melrose. Webster coached the Detroit Jr. Red Wings (OHL) for one year in 1992-'93, then the next five seasons, he was as an Assistant Coach in the NHL for the two years in Philadelphia, the last season of the Hartford Whalers in Connecticut and their first two seasons in Carolina with the Hurricanes. He concluded his coaching career back in Windsor with the OHL Spitfires for four seasons till 2002. He was a long time pro and amateur scout with the Calgary Flames from 2003-2014 before retiring. Webster is the seventh member of the 1972 championship team to pass away being preceded by Mike Byers, John Cunniff, Teddy Green, Rick Jordan, Al Smith, and Tommy Williams. Read the full article

[glitchinthesystemspiderbyte]

[4] Glitch in the System - Together?

By K. Uncomfortable gelato happens.

--

“You’re coming out with me,” Sombra demanded over the back of Widowmaker’s chair. The sniper, seated at the kitchen table, glanced upwards, meeting her colleague’s gaze with marked disinterest.

“I am not,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“I’m bored. You’re… whatever you are. Come on. It won’t be long. Just a walk.”

“I’m busy,” Widowmaker muttered into her teacup. “Clearly.”

“One hour,” Sombra pressed, holding up a finger where the other woman could see. “Just one. Promise. It’s not a date; so it won’t be any longer.”

Widowmaker looked past the shorter woman to the stovetop, its digital clock proclaiming 1900 in ostentatious neon red. The gesture, in truth, was empty; she had nowhere to be and even she couldn’t justify the necessity of another hour’s jog around the atrium perimeter. Try as she might to maintain it, her aversion to her proposal was fading in light of alternatives or excuses.

“D’accord,” she shrugged.“Let me change.”

November’s coolness settled over Venice, its streets a little emptier with the end of summer’s bustling tourist season. What remained were mostly locals, human and omnic alike, and a smaller, savvier handful of visitors from overseas. Widowmaker hardly noticed the chill, the thin, exceptionally tailored black peacoat thrown over her shoulders a hallmark of form rather than function. Sombra, on the other hand, walked determinedly against the slight chill, head down and hands buried in her coat pockets as if bracing against an impending arctic blast.

“It’s not so bad,” Widowmaker noted, a mocking smirk tucked into the corner of her mouth.

“Shut it, Lacroix,” the hacker grumbled, ducking into a narrow alley cutting across the block. Widowmaker followed, keeping pace only by virtue of the length of her stride.

“It is, literally, fifteen degrees,” the taller woman quipped.

“Yeah, Fahrenheit maybe.”

“Celsius. You’re such a child.”

Sombra stopped precisely long enough to shoot her accomplice a cutting glare over one shoulder before tugging the collar of her jacket flush against her neck. Widowmaker’s grin broadened; it was rare that she got under Sombra’s skin, and these fleeting victories were as precious as they were few.

They continued in silence, the comfortable default of their partnership - for the sniper, at least. Sombra always seemed intent on breaking it, either through provocation or nagging attempts at conversation. It never ceased to be an annoyance, though Widowmaker found herself minding it less as their weeks stationed in Italy stretched beyond a month. She came to expect it; peace and quiet punctuated by the hacker’s haphazard attempts at - what was it, exactly? Entertainment? She couldn’t quite tell what the other woman was after. On occasion, she wondered whether it was research, but Widowmaker, finding the thought conspicuously uncomfortable, was always quick to dismiss that particular suspicion.

Sombra stopped at the edge of the alleyway, glancing to either side of herself before cutting the right corner and pointing to the building before her. Widowmaker tilted her head.

“Gelato?”

The ombré-haired woman nodded. “What about it?”

“I thought you were cold,” she observed dryly.

“You want gelato or not?” Sombra asked, her smile betraying her attempt at impatience as she opened and held the door.

“Insieme?”

The shopkeep, an apron-clad omnic whose articulation suggested - intentionally or otherwise - a permanent mask of concern, inclined its head from behind the register.

Sombra glanced to Widowmaker, who returned her puzzled expression with raised eyebrows.

“Ah,” the hacker began, averting her gaze. “You want me to-”

Widowmaker scoffed, shaking off her hesitation by bumping her partner out of the way with her hip. Never mind that they both faltered at the question. Silly, she thought, suppressing the observation with an urgency she was far from willing to unpack.

“Insieme,” she nodded, producing her wallet from her coat and sliding a few credits across the counter. “Grazie.” She accepted the change offered her with a thin smile, tucking it and her wallet back into her pocket before accepting the gelato from the omnic.

“Buonasera,” the owner called from behind them as Sombra held the door for her companion.

“Altrettanto a te!” Widowmaker replied over her shoulder before shoving Sombra’s cone into her unexpecting hands.

The pair elected to continue their stroll, walking side by side along cobblestone sidewalks smeared with the sun’s final, golden rays. The gelateria behind them, Sombra seemed infinitely more at ease than she was minutes prior. Widowmaker noticed but elected not to comment, lest she draw attention to her own unplaceable discomfort.

“Italian, huh?” Sombra asked after a spell, peering over the edge of her cone in search of any last remnants of gelato. Raspberry, of course - the same for both of them. Embarrassing, the sniper had sighed inwardly.

“What was it?” she asked airily, recalling an earlier conversation. “‘Romance languages and shit’?”

The hacker grinned. “Romance languages and shit.”

They came to a stop along a footbridge, stopping at its center - the nexus between two of the city’s hundred islands, all separated by its famous network of canals. On either side of them, life persisted, its denizens unaware of the assassin and the spy mere inches, feet, and yards from its collective doorsteps. Here, Widowmaker noted, they were just people.

Her phone buzzed from within her pocket. She checked it idly, cradling it in the palm of her hand at an angle that allowed her to read the notification blaring across the screen - a message from Gabriel that simply read, “CAT???”.

She sighed, noting the time as she relinquished her grip on the device. Nearly 2100.

“Hm.”

Sombra looked up, her uncharacteristic silence subsequent the omnic shopkeep’s innocent question as telling as the sniper’s own over-compensation. “What?” she asked.

“Over an hour,” Widowmaker observed with a transient half-smile. “I thought this wasn’t a date.”

*Read from the beginning or check out our intro post! All stories tagged under #glitchfic

[widow-faker]

I'm curious to hear you thoughts about what happened to Reyes and why he's with Talon now. I find it very hard to believe that he'd willingly join a cause that he fought against his entire life. Because his friend got promoted over him? Because he was tasked with dirty work? Like.. back during Uprising his relationship with Jack was at the very least "okay". So in the span of one year he turned into a murdermass and now wants to find and kill the people who considered him family? Willingly??

oh, I don’t think he did so willingly

I genuinely believe that the ‘reaper’ is a sort of persona, an infection, if you will. Gabriel might be reaper now, but he wasn’t always. I think there were reapers before Gabe. michael chu alluded to the “wording in reapers’ bio being worded that way for a reason” and it says that the reaper has been around for decades. we know that the fall of overwatch happened six years prior to the game’s events, and the uprising event would’ve been a year before that. 

I think that talon infiltrated overwatch. I think blackwatch started to turn corrupt (not as a result of Gabriel, though) and Gabe noticed it and reported it to Jack, who, at this point, was so stressed and fucked with bad press and the threat of the petras act on the horizon that he just didn’t want to believe it. 

I genuinely do not think that Jack and Gabe hated each other or had much bad blood over the promotion. they were on fine terms in the comic. Jack is the only one (I believe…aside from Sombra, who does so jokingly) that has canonically referred to Gabriel as Gabe. Ana has always called him Gabriel. Pharah refers to him by his full name while talking to Jesse McCree in game. names mean a lot. there’s a difference between referring to someone by their last name vs their first name, or a nickname or a title. you have Jack call him Gabe directly, but when he’s speaking to Tracer later on in the comic, he refers to him as ‘Commander Reyes’ - this is a sign of respect. Tracer does not know him as Gabe - she knows him as the commander of blackwatch

meanwhile, in game, Soldier 76 refers to him as ‘Reyes’ when he bemoans the fact that the deadlock gang is still an issue in route 66. this shows resentment and disappointment. Gabe was his best friend for decades. to refer to him by his last name when we’ve only ever heard him refer to him as ‘Gabe’ or ‘Commander’ is important. it shows a lack of faith. he’s given up on his former friend by this point

(let’s get back on topic though) I think Gabe got frustrated with Jack right before the fall of Overwatch. Gabe tried proving to Jack for months that something wasn’t right with blackwatch, but Jack was too focused on overwatch and his own issues to deal with Gabe’s. at some point, we know that both Jesse and Genji leave blackwatch. we can assume that they discovered the corruption too and decided to bail. this probably sent Gabriel into a deep obsession to uncover the corruption, to the point where he didn’t sleep, eat, etc…

then Amelie Lacroix is kidnapped and brainwashed. Ana is shot. Gerard Lacroix is killed. overwatch rips apart at the seams. with blackwatch corrupt and the world shunning the entire organization, Jack crumbles under the pressure. he reaches out for the only one he has left - Gabe. but Gabe is pissed that Jack waited so long to take him seriously, he’s pissed that Jack ‘left’ Ana behind (which he didn’t - reread the comic) and is also so consumed with saving blackwatch (and overwatch) that he doesn’t really give him the time of day. until talon succeeds in destroying overwatch HQ

at this point, it’s too late. Jack has absolutely no idea what the fuck is happening. finally he’s like hmm…probably should’ve trusted Gabe. but the building collapses, “kills” Jack and Gabe in the process. but they’re super soldiers. Jack survives and goes into hiding, ashamed of what his leadership amounted to

Gabriel survives but doesn’t get far. I think talon kidnapped him too and infected him with the ‘reaper’. they brainwash him into thinking Overwatch was the enemy and all of his friends were liars. the reaper begins to consume him until he becomes it. I think it’s kind of like a possession. I think Gabe is still there, imprisoned in his own body as Reaper does terrible things, but thinks his friends abandoned him and left him to suffer, as he told Ana in the old soldiers comic. he probably assumed Jack had survived and was incredibly hurt that Jack didn’t try to help him

you know why I think he’s still in there? why he can be redeemed? because Ana and Jack are hellbent on tracking him down. not to kill him. they want to save him. they know that it’s not his fault that he’s acting the way that he is. they know that he can be saved. but talon has already proven they can brainwash quite effectively (a la Widowmaker) so it’s not too much of a stretch that they brainwashed Gabriel too

sorry for this long ass post that turned into like, the most massive headcanon ever, but yeah. those are my thoughts

[alynshir]

1, 3, 8, and 15?

1 has been answered!

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with. (for contrast I’m gonna add favorite character as well! so like ID character / favorite character)

A Court of Thorns and Roses: Feyre Archeron / Amren

Throne of Glass: Celaena (but not Aelin), Elide Lochan / Manon Blackbeak

Overwatch: Lena Oxton / Amélie Lacroix

Kingdoms of Amalur: my own protagonist, Niamh. if that counts / ALYN SHIR

Dragon Age: Alistair Theirin OR Leliana OR Merrill this was hard / Morrigan

Mass Effect (trilogy): Miranda Lawson / JANE SHEPARD

Mass Effect (Andromeda): Peebee / Vetra Nyx AND Jaal Ama Darav

Book of Deacon: Deacon and Ivy / AYNA WHO ARE WE KIDDING HERE

The Witcher: Dandelion / YENNEFER OF VENGERBERG

8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?

Jasmine Thompson, Florence + the Machine, Mandy Harvey, Alanis Morrissette, Halsey, Alessia Cara, Marina and the Diamonds, the original cast of Wicked. all of them

15. five most influential books over your lifetime (in order from earliest in life to latest, a bit about why they’re influential, and if it’s a series it cOUNTS AS ONE).

Harry Potter (J. K. Rowling) - the catalyst to me becoming a voracious and lifelong reader, gave me friends where I didn’t have them, literally was where I learned most of my social cues from?? is that bad?? maybe

The Enchanted Forest Chronicles (Patricia Wrede) - had all of the elements of a fantasy story that I loved: princesses, dragons, swords, magic, fairytales - but instead of a typical damsel story, it gave us a badass princess protagonist who did not want any part in being a damsel at all. introduced me to feminist fantasy! the best kind!!!! inarguably!!!! also so many dragons!!!!!!!!!! I also discovered them at a library. if you ever get them make sure it’s with the old fashioned, harsher cover art and not the cartoony one. just do it. for me

The Book of Deacon (Joseph Lallo) - I found this on Amazon after literally typing in ‘fantasy’ in the books category, in like…middle school. AND HERE WE ARE GUYS. Another awesome example of feminist fantasy, with badass ladies EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK. including when you look at dragons. and the author is a super cool, stand up dude, and really my first experience with an author interacting with his readerbase? which I thought was extremely cool. ALSO!!!!!!! had a massive massive impact on my art skills improving - the first fanart I ever drew and posted was of Ayna, one of his characters (AND STILL MY FAVORITE, WHERE IS HER STANDALONE NOVEL), and ever since then I’ve been drawing like mad. tru story. Please go check his stuff out! if I recall correctly the first book is free on Amazon for kindle/the kindle app on your phone!

The Witcher (Andrzej Sapkowski) - what a fuckin INCREDIBLE world this man has built. honestly has inspired me with my worldbuilding with something like The Witcher as my end goal. His protagonists are truly characters who interact with the world, someone who could have been selected at random to tell stories about - the world is that fleshed out and rich and well done. Also has YENNEFER OF VENGERBERG, who aside from being a badass sorceress, is every bit as developed and complex as Geralt (as she should be), and is not nice and appealing for the audience!!! She’s selfish and dismissive and brusque and can be cruel and manipulative and she IS NOT FUCKIN SORRY!!!!!!!!! I love her!!!! what a gal!

A Court of Thorns and Roses - completely just re-lit my creative bonfire. What characters. W h a t c h a r a c t e r s. Talk about a romance done fuckin WELL! Where I love the love interest just as much if not more than the protagonist! Not to mention, the raw emotions addressed in this were always things I was like, afraid to talk about in stories? Nervous how they’d be received if I discussed them for more than a few seconds? Realistic relationships (if u look past the soulmates stuff come on it’s high fantasy shh) and FRIENDSHIPS!!! ARE SO GOOD!!! the characters fuck me up in summary. So wonderfully done. I’ve reread them 2.5 (on book 2/3) times in three months.

[jonasmaurer]

San Diego Adventures

Hey hey! How’s the morning going? Hope you’re having a wonderful day so far. This morning, the girls are off to camp, I have a podcast interview, and I’m looking forward to catching a barre class later. 

For today’s post, I thought I’d share some San Diego adventures. It’s still one of our favorite places to visit, and we love it even more after living there for 2 1/2 years. We don’t have the “see everything, do everything” pressure that often accompanies visiting a new place. We hang out at our beloved spots and don’t feel rushed or hurried. It was a *real* vacation: lots of downtime on the beach, eating at incredible spots, and watching the pure joy on the girls faces.

We got into San Diego on Wednesday afternoon, and after dropping the dogs off with our favorite dog sitter and groomer (the dogs had a vacation, too!), we headed to our Airbnb. It was our first time using it as a family, and I highly recommend it. (We used it for the Beautycounter LEAD conference and it was such a great experience, I couldn’t wait to try it with the fam.) We dropped off our luggage, and then went to OB Noodle House for dinner. Betsy, Jeremy, and the kids met us there, and we had the best dinner of spring rolls, lettuce wraps, dumplings, and pho. No one makes pho like OB Noodle House. We often order it at other restaurants and it’s always good, but it’s never quite as good.

We took the kids for ice cream at Baskin Robbins and then went back to the Airbnb to call it a night.

Thursday was 4th of July, so after an easy breakfast at the Airbnb, coffee from Better Buzz (decaf best drink ever, half sweet), we headed to Betsy’s mom’s house for an epic 4th of July BBQ and pool party. The kids swam for about 3 hours, only taking breaks to eat a hot dog or s’more and immediately jump back in. We sat on the grass, enjoyed amazing food – the spread was out of control – and chatted with everyone. It was perfect.

We left late afternoon for nap time, and after P was awake and ready for party #2, we went over to Betsy’s to hang out by their pool. We got pizza delivered, roasted s’mores over the fire pit, and the adults drank wine out of solo cups while the kids swam again. The girls were in the pool pretty much all day and couldn’t be happier.

Friday, I took an early Cyclebar class, and then we packed up the crew for a day at Bonita Cove. We put out our pop-up tent and set up beach chairs. I was surprised by how cold it was! It was in the 60s, which was freezing to me, but didn’t stop the kids from splashing in the water. We built sand castles, the kids played on the playground, and they got ice cream from the ice cream man. 

Friday night, we had dinner at Crack Shack downtown. I’m not even a fried chicken person, but I LOVE their fried chicken. I’m so glad I didn’t know about Crack Shack while I was pregnant with P because I’d probably have grease marks all over my stretched-out lululemon tanks. It’s that good. I got the Baja chopped salad with smoked chicken, had a piece of fried chicken, and we all shared deviled eggs and super soft biscuits with sweet and salty butter. 

(Got a couple of questions about this dress! Stitch Fix sent it to me when they sent the kids’ boxes and the brand is Free People. It’s on sale right now in coral here.)

After dinner, we headed to Belmont Park so the girls could ride all of their favorite rides. We got them wristbands and they both went on every ride they were tall enough to do. My face hurt from laughing so hard at the Vertical Plunge ride. Liv was an absolute statue and P would shriek and giggle at every single drop. I’m kind of terrified for the future when they’re dragging me on scary roller roasters. 

Sunday morning we had brunch at our favorite spot (Great Maple! Get a spot on OpenTable if you go!) and spending the afternoon hanging out with Betsy and the crew. I was so glad we got to spend so much time with them on this trip. We decided a month is about how long we can go without all getting together.

(We were in Alaska with them not too long ago!)

Of course, it’s not a trip to San Diego without a stop at Tiki Port.

(This is the Drifter bowl + peanut butter)

We had the best time on the trip, and also managed to save a bit of $. We’re trying to be more strategic with our finances this year, so here are some things that helped:

– Staying in an Airbnb (<— my referral link gives you $40 off!). In the end, it was about $100 less per night than we would have spent at a hotel, and it was so much more convenient with the kids. We had a full kitchen, laundry room, dining room, a sofa bed, and while P napped on the master bed, we could all hang out in the living room together. The link to the one we used is here! It had a great central location and was perfect. I highly recommend it.

– We didn’t go out to eat for every single meal. Before we hit the road to San Diego, I packed a small cooler with items we had on hand (and a giant thing of blueberries that would have gone bad while we were gone), and a grocery bag with lots of snacks. We had breakfast at the Airbnb most days (I brought berries, apples, bananas, cereal, oatmeal, and when we arrived, we grabbed some almond milk and eggs, which we hard-boiled). On the 4th of July, we had lunch at the party, and the following day at the beach, I packed the cooler up with snacks. (A loaf of Dave’s Killer bread with peanut butter and jelly to make sandwiches for all the kids, trail mix, Clif bars, dried mango, fruit pouches, and LaCroix.)

We had about 1 *good* meal out each day, and it was perfect. There was also something magical about not having to hurry up and get the girls dressed to head to a restaurant first thing in the morning. We had relaxing breakfast at the Airbnb and got ready for the day.

– Enjoying experiences that didn’t cost a thing. The beach day was completely free (minus a trip to the ice cream truck) and we were all living our best summer lives.

Do you have any hacks for saving money on vacation? We like to travel (a lot), so I’m looking forward to reading your tips! 

Have a wonderful day and I’ll see ya soon.

xoxo

Gina

The post San Diego Adventures appeared first on The Fitnessista.

San Diego Adventures published first on https://olimpsportnutritionde.tumblr.com/

[intercal]

callout post for tumblr user virescent-phosphor

@virescent-phosphor​ why did you do this to me

A (age): well nobody likes me, so logically, that must mean I’m 23

B (biggest fear): car accidents, and being forgetten for the most part

C (current time): 6:23

D (drink you last had): Orange LaCroix

E (easiest person to talk to): the majority of people who hang out on IRC. They’re my buds.

F (favorite song): Africa, by Toto. No question.

G (grossest moment): insert “your mom” joke here

H (horror yes, horror no): usually not. I’m pretty fragile in just about every regard

I (in love with): Rust, sorry C++

J (jealous of): people who can just get up and do things. like, without 25 days of anxiety and planning and amping themselves up

K (killed someone): the fuck kind of question is this? nobody’s gonna answer it truthfully, I just think the person who came up with this literally had no idea what to put for this one

L (love at first sight or should i walk by again?): uhhhhh I think I understand what the question is asking. i’d believe that a lot of people who have good chemistry will hit it off immediately after talking for a little bit. 

M (middle name): I mean I’ve posted my first and last name here, I’m not about to completely dox myself

N (number of siblings): one older brother

O (one wish): to be “quirky” instead of “batshit insane” in the private life department

P (person you last called): I think my future landlord, as I scheduled an apartment viewing. spoilers: I rented one of them

Q (question you’ve always been asked): “where’s your name from?” answer: my parents saw this Ukranian guy playing basketball for U of Oregon and liked the spelling (true story)

R (reasons to smile): because life is genuinely not that bad unless you’re in a really shitty place (which I know a lot of people are in - not discounting your struggles). plenty of good things - just as well as bad things - take place in the world. generally we’ll count the red lights on the way to work, but maybe you’ll see things a little differently if you try counting the green lights tomorrow instead.

S (song you last sang): ....probably Africa, by Toto

T (time you woke up): 8-something, gotta be to work by 9 every day.

U (underwear color): free ballin’ it today

V (vacation destination): I’d like to visit a place for a week or a month and just living there, as a guest and not doing AS MANY THINGS AS I POSSIBLY CAN and just take the time slow. vacations are more about the atmosphere to me than the activities planned, and I’ll generally spend many of them reading or doing computer stuff.

W is for “what the fuck, why didn’t they include W?” so instead I’m going to say W (wisdom teeth?): I was not born with them.

X (x-rays I’ve had): bunch on my right leg after I jumped off a bed and my brother pulled out the cushion underneath me just before I landed and I wrecked my ankle (twisted it, I think) on a thinly-carpeted concrete floor. that, and dental X-rays.

Y (your favorite foods): I gotta say one of my loves is jambalaya. my mom has a great recipe for it, and it’s less of a soup and more of a rice “casserole” (what’s a casserole without the breading?) and thick and delicious. Beyond that, I love artichoke (I haven’t had some in a while), corn, caramelized onions, any color of bell peppers, rice, bread, cheese... I dunno, I like a lot of stuff. It’s hard to play favorites.

Z (zodiac): Scorpio; or Virgo on the zodiac including Ophiuchus.

I’m going to tag @twentygototen​ and @syntaxcoloring​ and @lockrum​ and @altlast​ and @thegreatjackal​ and @schwulerschakal​ so fuck you and do the damn post

[zippdementia]

Part 13 Alignment May Vary: Combat and Character Hooks

Welcome to another Journey Log! This week takes my three players through an intense combat as they wrap up some loose ends. It is the climax of the first act of Tomb of Haggemoth, after which they will truly strike out across the Moon Sea to follow the Oracle’s cryptic instructions. In this post, I’ll be focusing on how to build effective encounters in D&D 5th Edition and also the importance of using character hooks in your game. But fist, some catch up with the story...

Return to Ottoman’s Dock

The Butcher of Skago now considers the players to be his “investment,” and he intends to ensure that they make good on their promise to bring him the treasure of Haggemoth. So he decides to sail alongside their ship, while his sniper (Haymish) sails onboard the Mankey Bastard with the players.

The journey to Ottoman’s dock has one event: Abenthy has not been feeling well ever since leaving the LaCroix mansion and now the players discover why. The key they picked up from the Ooze house was actually the last piece of the Ooze and has been hiding on board their ship disguised as Abenthy’s belt. From there, it has been slowly draining him of his life! The group works out what has been happening and destroys the Ooze, once and for all, completing a sidequest and ending a possible plotline if the ooze had made ity back to civilization...

At Ottoman’s dock, the players discover that Marcus, the priest they had left to deal with Rose the Slaver, has been murdered. They are presented with a plan for revenge by Lisa, one of the slave girls they freed last time who was living with Marcus. She tells them to either help her burn Rose’s establishment to the ground, or enter by stealth and try and find evidence of Rose’s wrongdoing to present to the mayor of Ottoman’s dock.

The group vacillates over what to do. Twyin and the half-orc Rhazel are in favor of the burning—it’s simpler and, to Twyin’s mind, cleaner. But Karrina thinks it is riskier and when Abenthy realizes burning will mean the death of the innocent slaves who are still working the establishment he refuses to go along with that plan. Majority rules, and they move in via stealth, through the basement passage they found last time.

This doesn’t go quite as planned. Rose is transporting a special “guest” this evening, and so has the basement under guard by Ratzotto pirates. The players try to dispatch them quietly, but let one get away. He instantly runs upstairs to warn Rose. Worse, they try to take the special guest, a young girl, with them. This goes incredibly bad when the girl suddenly turns on them (Rose’s mind controlling orders) and attacks them with the power of her mind, killing Rahzel (their half orc, colorblind mercenary) in the ensuing fight. During this, Rose arrives with reinforcements and a massive fight breaks out that nearly kills Twyin (he becomes the target of Rose’s imp, who takes spider form and continually bites him, while Rose holds Twyin still with her spells). This battle also presents a problem for Abenthy: Rose sends her enslaved bodyguards at him. He knows these are innocents under mind control, so he tries to hold back and knock them out, but thanks to a couple HUGE damage rolls, he accidentally kills one of them, cracking his skull open like an egg. Falling to his knees in the midst of combat, Abenthy begins to pray for his salvation while the others desperately try to fight off Rose (for two whole rounds he prays, an excellent bit of roleplaying)!

In the end the players persevere and force Rose to flee in the form of a dark green magical mist (she quaffed a potion of mist form). Where she departs to is unknown to the players. In fact, she makes her escape to a ship that is waiting for her and from there across the sea to answer to her master, a person far more devious than she. How that goes you may discover in a future blog.

Defeating Rose breaks the spell on the psychic girl, a mysterious young human named Jade, who has come looking for her brother, Targaryen. Remember him?

This unexpected revelation gets more complicated when the players head back out onto the open seas, searching for the ice land that the oracle hinted at. Halfway there, they are attacked by Ratzotto pirates, and they seem to have a new leader—Targaryen himself, revived from the dead or saved from its brink, commands the pirates from the bow of the ghostly Red Hand ship Karrina helped sink over a month ago. Holding the Jade Figurine Karina recovered from the watery temple aloft, he seems to use it to gain control over some monstrosity of the deep, a tentacled horror that tears apart the Butcher of Skago’s ship while the players fight off an attack of pirates.

The battle ends with Haymish gripping the rails of the Mankey Bastard, watching his master’s ship sink below the waves as the players make their escape from this frightening new Targaryen. 

Lesson: Building Encounters in Fifth Edition

Despite its dual emphasis on story and gameplay, D&D has never truly left behind its roots as a one-shot tactical battle game. Which is great, when you play out a battle and then go home at the end of the day with a winner and a loser, back to do it next time y’all meet up. But when you mix character and story into that mix... well then things get a little complicated, don’t they? There are times you don’t WANT your party to die, because it would wreak havoc on your story. Yet, if every battle is a guaranteed win, then your game suffers, because there is no more risk.

I struggled with this for years as a GM, until one day I came to a very simple conclusion: it is okay to let your players die. In literally any situation, it is okay, because you can’t predict what those players are going to do. This is a roleplaying game, which means if your players are doing it right, they are following an internal narrative you won’t always have access to. That narrative may dictate they run head first into certain doom (”Barbarian smash!”), or that they do not take an opening to escape when they have the chance (”My creed is that I will never flee from justice!”), or they bring the proverbial knife to a gunfight (”Die fire elemental! Fear my fireball!”), or they provoke the Brass Dragon into eating them alive (”Damn, but you are hideously ugly!”). Your job isn’t to hand hold the players, improvising ways for them to survive against all odds. Leave that to the natural 20s they roll!

However, it is your job to roleplay the monsters as well as they play their characters. Do that, and you will find that instead of your story coming to a dead halt when you unexpectedly get a total party kill, it will feel like a part of the story. When your monsters act like monsters instead of figurines with the knowledge of the Dungeon Master, it won’t feel unfair if your players fall to them. This also lets you change the difficulty of encounters on the fly.

In the pirate battle in our session, for instance, Abenthy leapt immediately onto the pirate ship and taunted all of them. They chose for many rounds after this to focus their attacks on him, even after he retreated—which worked in the party’s favor because Abenthy is a tank who is hard to hit and can soak up damage even when he is. The players took further advantage of this and used clever positioning to keep Abenthy in front while Karrina gave rear support as an archer and Twyin came in from the side, doing devastating damage with his multiple attacks. 

The pirates lost that battle, badly, but things could have gone differently. What if I had rolled well enough to take Abenthy down and suddenly the remaining players were faced with overwhelming odds? If I felt the battle was no longer fun, I could have used in world explanations to slightly make things easier—given courage by their success, perhaps the pirates split up and start rushing heedlessly into battle, spreading out where their sneak attack damage isn’t as useful.

In fact, I did use tactics to make things harder: once Twyin started taking down a pirate each turn, they started focusing their attacks on him, which did make things more tense. By doing this, I was able to break away from pure statistics and use changing tactics to keep our battle balanced throughout the fight.

To go along with this, here is some mechanical advice I have found in the last two years of tinkering with the D&D 5 system:

Go harder than you think: The Unearthed Arcana encounter builder does a much better job of giving appropriate challenges than does the complicated CR calculator that the DMG provides. That said, any kind of guideline someone publishes is based on average characters. It can’t take into account a player who rolled above average stats, or who selected powerful feats, or who took the best options their class has to offer, or is playing perfectly in synch with the rest of their party. It also can’t take into account items, magical weapons, and improved armor. Thus, I find that players tend to outperform these charts. It has often happened that combats I thought, on building them the day before a session, are far too deadly for the players to take on end up dealing no damage to them at game time. So, don’t be afraid to make combats hard! If the fight comes about and it is truly brutal, you can always use the above mentioned “change of tactics” mid fight to tone things down. Don’t underestimate the tendency of your villains to stop and give mighty speeches on their turns instead of attacking, when they realize they are wiping the floor with the players. After all, what villain can resist a good taunting of fate? In all seriousness, though, it is easier (and more acceptable to players) to describe how some of the goblin horde they are fighting back off because things got too hard (”a hush suddenly falls over the goblins as their champion comes forward, chuckling darkly that he will take down these fools himself”) then it is to scramble to roll up reinforcements when the players are making what you wanted to be an epic fight too easy. Oh, by the way... if they do make the epic fight too easy, don’t try to “fix it” and take that victory away. Just make a mental note that future fights will probably need to be tougher because you underestimated your players, and prepare the next session accordingly.

Action economy is king: I say it, designers say it, players say it, and it is worth saying again—in D&D it is the character who gets to strike the most who will win the most. Not all bonuses are built equal. High health points don’t matter much when a team of players can easily dish out 60 damage a turn. The damage your monsters can deal doesn’t matter much when the players can heal it all in a single cure wound spell. And the players will eventually get these powers, if they don’t have them already. But what never stops being powerful is when one of your monsters gets six attacks per turn. Do you want TPKs? Because that’s how you get TPKs. D&D 5 does a great job of making it harder for players to get seven attacks a turn (in Pathfinder, this tendency led to many monsters having ridiculous resistances and ACs just to stay alive) and instead gives such powers to the monsters. I’ve talked in the past about how doing this effectively brings back the “boss monster,” meaning that a single higher CR monsters can take the place of what in older versions would have been a horde of high CR monsters. I like this a lot, as I think it lets individual monsters have more personality. Some DMs dislike it, because it gets harder to build hordes with higher level monsters. And that is fair, because it does get much harder. And so, that is my advice—as you start to look at higher level monsters, just keep in mind that their multi-attack ability, if paired with high damage, can wipe a party in the first round of combat. As your monsters get more attacks, things are going to start scaling upwards in difficulty exponentially. So pay attention to these monsters when horde building. Similarly, remember that your players have access to extra attacks and will get exponentially tougher as they get them. If you have a party with a lot of fighters or other classes that grant extra attacks, you may need to adjust your difficulty higher.

Magic is a wild card: Somewhere on Reddit I read a great thread about all the ways a CR 5 enchanter could kill a party of higher level adventures without ever entering combat. Once you start getting into enemies with spells, you can really start messing with your game’s difficulty. On its basest level, magic in combat can buff your monsters, debuff the players, or deal damage. But think outside of the box, and the possibilities become far more interesting—and deadly! Picture the mage who follows after the players, taking on their appearance using disguise self, and visibly killing guards in every city they are to visit, so that when they arrive, they are immediately targeted by the King’s best men. What about the divination mage, who scries out the seas the players are sailing on, and uses her powers to summon a storm the likes of which hasn’t been seen on those seas in ages? There is the warlock who plants an item in the bag of holding the players carry with them, an item stolen from a powerful demon, a demon which will kill anyone who it thinks has the item... there is the illusionist who makes it look like the bridge across the chasm of doom didn’t collapse last week... there is the crazed evoker who has placed a rune of blasting on every door in his tower, and who has rigged the entrance to be one way only, emptying players out onto the elemental plane of fire when they try to leave...  Some of these possibilities go far beyond simply rolling a dodge in combat and using your massive reflex score to avoid damage. Magic is unpredictable. Because of this, there is really no good way to give a CR rating to a magician based purely on what magic they have. More important is to think about how they will use that magic in your game. A magic who is going to stand in one place casting fireball... well, you can easily factor in their added damage per round to their CR using the DMG and figure out their difficulty rating is. But far more deadly may be the mage that the players don’t even know is targeting them...

Lesson: When to Use Character Hooks

Short answer: whenever possible.

Anyone who has ever been a player in D&D knows that there are two characters you build when you make a new character. The first is one of stats and numbers, a list of abilities. The second is a story, a reason to journey, a purpose, a personality. The first is easy to bring into play—any time there is combat, or an obstacle requiring a roll, you get to use this character. When you level, you directly affect it, adding to stats and gaining new abilities. The second is harder. It doesn’t level up at specific milestones, or gain experience from killing monsters. There aren’t monsters that are weak to it, or campaigns pre-built to favor it. The first character will never go away. It will always be there on paper, easy to access and analyze until it falls beneath the axe of some crazed Drow. The second character, if not tended to, often is dead long before the axe falls, forgotten after a session or two of not being used.

This second character, the story of a character, is often what has separated memorable games from forgettable ones in my player experience. When I build a character, I am building a set of hooks and suggestions on the kind of story I want to play out. If I say I am a gunslinger searching for his father, then I am telling you (a) that the easiest way to get me to go anywhere in your game is to drop a hint about my dad, and (b) that I’m hoping this search will be a part of the game. Maybe not a huge part, but at least get enough of a focus that I will feel like I’m really playing a man on the hunt for family. Because obviously I have some interest in that, if this is the story I’ve come up with. Here’s an example...

I remember one game I played where I built a thief (Xaviee) whose village had been burned down by werewolves. One of the werewolves Xaviee remembered, because the beast had bitten his mother and turned her into a werewolf. It was a simple back story I just came up with for fun, in the hopes that if we ever ran into werewolves or any supernatural creature, I could roleplay treating them with extreme prejudice, maybe even attacking them on sight. I figured, too, that my mother might be used sometime as a hook—for instance, if the GM needed us to go to Phandalin, maybe a werewolf attack would be reported in the area. My player would easily agree to go, just on the off chance that the attack involved his now lupine mother.

With all this, I was pleasantly surprised to learn the GM had actually selected a werewolf campaign for us to play. Good fortune! Except in twelve sessions of the campaign, my mother was never mentioned. I mean, we FOUGHT werewolves. We came across tribes of them. At first, I just waited for the GM to throw some hint in, like “that werewolf over there, you recognize from the attack!” As time went on without any of this, I started asking for it: “Xaviee asks the tribe leader if he recognizes the name of his village or of his mother...” without hesitation the DM would say, “nope.”

We had fun at the table. It was a good game. But by the time it was over, I had stopped caring about Xaviee’s werewolf mother and, in doing so, stopped caring about him, too. When he eventually was killed by a quagmire troglodyte, I rolled up a dwarf who hated elves and liked getting drunk a lot. The DM seemed much more comfortable working this into the game.

This is why I like to work in as many of the hooks my players have given me as possible. I will add new scenes to bring their bonds into the campaign. I will replace blah NPCs with people from my players’ history. And I can’t think of a reason NOT to do this. It doesn’t take much time, and the sense of involvement it will bring your players is incredible. Otherwise, you really might as well just be playing a tactical battle game with their stats.

Stats are fun to play around with. They are what make your character feel powerful. But story is what makes your character feel alive.

And now, some news. This post will mark the end of the adventure blog... for a while. The game continues, but I am currently trying to design and publish the Ooze adventure for DriveThru RPG and I want to devote my attentions to that in the free time I have for writing. When I complete it, I may well return to the blog—either weekly again, or as a once in a while thing, if I think a session has some particularly good lessons in it for GMs. Until then, happy gaming!