#this might be the only male in all of creation i would allow to dominate me

[faecaptainofdreams]

Listen. It’s fine. I’m totally normal about this.

Genuinely not a big deal, it’s really—

oh my GOD—

fine. Everything is fine and i am in total control of my faculties.

Actually 0% distracted by this, it’s all good.

Totally normal!

I came. 😐

[sanjoongie]

21~ Mutual Masturbation: K. YS ft S. MG

♡Pairing: Kang Yeosang x Reader (f) ft Song Mingi ♡Genre: non-idol au, vampire au ♡Word Count: 1,302 ♡Warnings: mutual masturbation, orgasm to relieve cramps, period blood, f and male orgasm, aftercare, slight mxm ♡Rated: 18+ MDNI, smut with no plot ♡Masterlist link~ | Previous Day~ Seonghwa | Next Day~ Mingi ♡Dedication~ @mejuii​ @downtoamagicalland​ the unholy trinity beta team

“Yeosang,” You whine to the man sharing the king-sized bed with you currently, “You know we’re not allowed to masturbate while our master is gone.”

You were Mingi’s human servant, and Yeosang was his newest creation. Living in a vampire’s kiss had a lot of rules that restricted the age-defying immortals and kept them from at each other’s throats, sometimes literally, most of the time figuratively. But this rule was a personal rule. 

Mingi had gone to a meeting of vampire masters in the country. They were to discuss some human/vampire politics and also dole out punishment if any severe rules had been broken. So, smartly so, Mingi had left his human servant and his newly-created vampire with two simple rules: you were to not masturbate while he was gone and you were to not have sex with each other and absolutely no drinking blood from you.

Except Yeosang always had a high sex drive, and it was driving the both of you crazy with lust. And you were on your period, which wasn’t helping Yeosang all that much, seeing as how he was a new vampire. His control over his blood lust was not as good as Mingi’s was. Perhaps if your period hadn't come early, Mingi might not have let you two sleep in the bed the three of you shared. He had thought the scent of him would console you both since you couldn't engage in any sexual activities. Instead, you two were both on your backs, you whining about your cramps and Yeosang making a tent in his pants because all he could smell was your period blood.

"I know," Yeosang says quietly, "But he didn't say we couldn't touch each other."

"Yeosang! We can't have sex with each other!" You turn and curl into the fetus position. Your cramps wrack through your body again.

"No but he didn't say we couldn't touch each other." 

A pin could have dropped and you would have heard it. You slowly reach over and trace Yeosang's birthmark. Yeosang shakes his bangs into his face. He's trained himself to cover his birthmark since other vampire's ridiculed him for his 'lack of perfection' but you thought it only made him more beautiful. 

"Your loophole is going to get us into a lot of trouble, Sangie," You murmur.

Yeosang's eyes meet your own. "Let me touch you. Let me rub you through an orgasm. I know it'll help you with your cramps."

"It's gross," You deny him, wrinkling your nose.

Yeosang grins at you, flashing his new canines, a habit a lot of new vampires did. "It's not. I promise you. It's taking everything in me to not dive in between your legs. As long as we work between the lines, we can do this without getting in trouble with our Master."

"I can see his confused expression now," You can't help but giggle at the image.

"And his beautiful anger." Yeosang shudders, squeezing his eyes shut. 

So that's how Yeosang's pajama pants hang off one ankle and your hand is wrapped around his length. Your oversized shirt that belonged to Mingi was pushed high up above your breasts, a towel under your lower half and Yeosang's hand under your panties. 

Yeosang was rubbing slow but sure circles into your clit. You were already whining and bucking your hips to search out more pleasure. His fingers dips back to your core, pushing into you at a snails pace and once he's two knuckles in, he finger fucks you slowly. "Like that?"

You're mewling for more, you just wanna feel good instead of pain. "Just like that. Your fingers are so--"

You squeeze your non-dominant hand and Yeosang's ass lifts off the bed as he thrusts into your hand. "--Oh please play with my head, I'm so sensitive there, fuck just like that!"

The two you time the thrusts and strokes to work together and the simulation is enough to get the both of you groaning. "Yeosang, if I come--"

"You better paint my fingers red because I want to lick them afterwards." The statement knocks the air out of your lungs.

"Back to my clit then, fuuuuuuuck." Yeosang pulls his finger out of you slowly and you draw out the last word said. "When you circled my clit, it felt great."

Yeosang does just as you say and it makes your hand stutter on the head of his cock. You stroke him quickly and his body strains. "You gonna make me come first so I can focus on enjoying your cunt? Because I'd be more than happy to accommodate you."

"That's not hard. Our master always makes you come first. You're just that easy of a lay, Sangie." You tease and then laugh while groaning. Yeosang's finger is wet enough and is applying the right amount of pressure to get you to come pretty soon, however.

"Come all over my hand too, Sangie," You coo, "I wanna taste you too."

That, with the combination of the twist on your wrist and your thumb tracing his slit, makes Yeosang come. He spurts all over your fist and also onto his thick waist. 

"So pretty, covered in your own cum," which was exactly something Mingi said to him. In fact, it was Mingi who said it.

"Master!" You exclaim.

Yeosang's fingers slows down and you lose your impending orgasm but he doesn't stop touching you completely. "Hello, Mingi."

"I'm impressed. Putting my familiar's needs before your own at your age is quite impressive," Mingi says, nodding his head to his own words. "Dumb because your fingers have been in her and I smell blood, but certainly very brave of you."

"Master, please, don't punish Yeosang. We both agreed to this."

Mingi grabs a hold of your jaw between his fingers but he is very gentle with you. "You were seeking a way out of your pain. You are not to be blamed. Yeosang, however, is cheating and consuming blood from your body. Your blood is only mine, love."

"Master," You whine, "Kiss me while Yeosang finishes me off. Let him have this. He was here for me."

Mingi’s features soften and he nods. "I'll allow it. You know I'd do anything for you."

Mingi gives you soft kisses full of adoration for you, careful of his fangs on your lips. His large hands encompass your breasts and massage them gently. Yeosang rubs you through an earth-blowing orgasm that makes you cry out into Mingi’s lips. Your legs shake as the pleasure zooms through you and then you sigh in contentment. 

Mingi sits up and watches with hyper focus as Yeosang’s fingers come out, covered in your cum and your period blood. He grabs Yeosang’s hand before the new vampire can suck on on them, however. Yeosang whines and pouts as Mingi takes the fingers in his own mouth and cleans them of any taste of you.

“I told you, Sangie,” Mingi grins boyishly, a way to disarm his victims and always meant danger for anyone, “Only I get to taste her sweet blood.”

You attempt to disarm the situation by bringing the attention back to you. "I need cleanup," You whimper.

“The both of you, in the bath. I want you clean for tonight's festivities,” Mingi commands.

“Festivities?” Yeosang raises an eyebrow in question but nonetheless scooping you up in his arms, much to your dismay of this cum on his stomach smearing on you. 

Mingi grins slowly. “Why, to celebrate my return of course. You think I’d let the two of you come without me?”

Yeosang and you exchange glances. Neither of you knew if that meant he intended to punish you or not, but the slight fear only added to the excitement of what would happen after your bath. Looks like you two were cleaning quickly.

Masterlist link~ | Previous Day~ Seonghwa | Next Day~ Mingi

[the-bjd-community-confess]

So Idk if ANYONE in this whole wide world will relate, but the reason I as a cis woman have gay dolls, or prefer M/M pairings, has always been because the 1st time I did so it was to explore my sexuality, bi and my approach to my own gender. I felt very insecure about myself as a woman bc I'm GNC, but back then I didn't have a word for it. Where I live almost every girl is very gender role conforming because of the culture here.

I started with gay pairings because it was "different" I'm a woman, and that's a man, so it's "not actually me" I'm exploring when doing this. But in retrospect every pairing I looked at, or even created myself, was clearly "me". Either in the dominant masculine male character, or even in the more feminine male character, they'd always show some very obviously "ME" trait, something that was a part of me. But also, because men were/are allowed to be sexual by society. Men are expected to like sex. Men can have sex without constantly being shamed for it. The saying "A man is a stud if he has sex with many women, but a woman having lots of sex makes her a slut." Is still the standard mentality, so exploring the same thing with a female character would have brought me back to square 1.

I wanted to explore how standards imposed on women would play out put on a male character. I've also done vice versa, doing it with female characters in recent years, but often some of these things just weren't really me so I stopped. These days I'm more secure in that part of me, and also have a lot of female characters and dolls who're GNC and bi to more accurately reflect myself in my creations.

Only recently I accepted that, and my dolls kinda reflect that exploration and at this point, I just like to use them as a "mirror universe" version of what I view as my more "masculine" traits taking human form. Or how would my feminine traits affect a male character? How would I have deal with my life had I been a man, but with my current mindset I've collected growing up as a woman? In a lot of cases I think it isn't even about actually "gay men" when it comes to women reading M/M pairings, it's that women grow up with a certain expectation, and some times it's just easier to explore your sexuality with something that "isn't you". I know men, especially gay/bi men have their own issues so it might seem fetishistic, but I think it's more a case of ignorance and "just not getting it" rather than actual malice by any woman who does enjoy M/M stuff. They don't get how it actually is to be a gay man, so they have an idealistic view on it. Also sidennote, I'm not trying to protect actual fetishistic women, or people, who fetishize real gay/bi men, this is all about fictional characters.

~Anonymous

[jaskicr]

let’s talk about fandom racism

i have seen so many people say that they don’t like yennefer, or they don’t vibe with her, or she isn’t compelling, or she is irrelevant to their fics/art/creations...

yes. everyone is allowed to like and dislike characters. everyone is allowed to have their preferences. and i’m not disputing that. but when people brush yennefer off, justifying it some of the reasons above or other reasons they come up with, i question whether there’s something rather dodgy behind this, especially when those very same people really, really stan white male characters (geralt, jaskier, the wolves etc)

some people are going to come at me, ‘why are you making everything about race??!??’ or accuse me of calling them racist, when they aren’t racist, how dare i say stuff like that. but it’s interesting, isn’t it? the way fans justify their dislike or their dismissal of female characters of colour with excuses like they’re not ‘compelling’ or they’re ‘problematic’ - when their fave white dudes are arguably just as bland and problematic, but those fans continue stanning their faves anyway.

it’s important, i think, for many fans to take a step back and evaluate their preferences. ‘fandom is for fun,’ you might say. ‘why do i need a reason to like a certain character? can’t i just like them because i do!’

you can! what i want people to evaluate, though, is how their preferences have been shaped by unconscious bias. unconscious bias is created as people grow up, shaped by people around them, shaped by the structure of society - and in society, white-dominated ones in particular, racism is embedded deep within, and it influences the way many people perceive and treat media, the way they interact within fandoms.

that is what i want people to examine and evaluate. you might reject it - because no one wants to be told that they’re racist, that they have unconscious prejudices that they don’t even notice. everyone wants to think that they’re open-minded, that they’re inclusive, that they are completely accepting of every minority group ever - when in fact, the way they’ve been brought up, the way society has influenced them, has created biases within them that shapes their preferences and perception.

i’m not saying people are being intentionally malicious and sidelining characters of colour like yennefer on purpose. i’m saying that there are unconscious prejudices that influence their views in a way that they likely aren’t aware of, leading to them dismissing characters of colour, or demonising them, or magnifying the flaws that a character of colour has while excusing a white character (usually a white man) for similar flaws. 

this can very clearly be seen in how so many fandoms have white male characters as the most popular amongst fans, with many white mlm ships being the centre of those fandoms. meanwhile, people of colour, whether or not they have a compelling or interesting story arc, are relegated to the side, either ignored or used as a facilitator to help the two white men get together, or acting as a side character who has no life outside their connection to the white man.

sound familiar, fandoms?

i’m not telling you that you have to like characters of colour. i’m not saying that if you don’t like yennefer, you’re racist. i can’t make you like them, and it would be wrong of me to make you. but i am imploring that you examine and evaluate your preferences, and see if you have any unconscious prejudices and biases that you might not have noticed before, and become aware of them and how your prejudices might affect the way you treat others, the way you engage with fandom content.

then maybe - maybe, poc like me won’t feel so unwelcome in fandom. we all recognise that representation is important, and the fact that characters of colour are so often pushed aside in fandom tells us that you want to push people like us aside. it tells us that, because of your internal biases, you prefer white men over us, and for me? it makes me feel unwelcome, sometimes, the way i see characters like yennefer and triss and fringilla ignored or dismissed in favour of geralt and jaskier and the wolves.

and i get that people have preferences! i too enjoy writing and reading about geralt and jaskier. but sometimes i bring up yennefer or triss or fringilla and i simply get talked over - this really doesn’t make me feel welcome, and though i can’t speak for every poc in this fandom, i can imagine that at least a few of us feel the same way. 

geraskier is still one of my favourite ships, but i’ve noticed that i tend to gravitate towards white mlm ships, and i wonder - what does that say about me and my internalised prejudices? what can i do to improve and evaluate myself?

not liking yennefer or other characters of colour doesn’t automatically make you racist. you don’t have to like them in order to not be racist. i’m merely asking that you be conscientious of your preferences, and be mindful of how you engage with fandom especially regarding characters of colour. 

consider whether you hold characters of colour to a different standard than a white character - if a character of colour were white, would you dismiss them in the same way? would you demonise them for their flaws? 

consider how you write and interpret characters of colour. do you fall into harmful stereotypes? do you use characters of colour to uplift white characters, and do characters of colour only have significance in relation to white characters?

consider how you treat fans of colour. do you listen to us when we express our concerns, or do you talk over us and try to speak for us, rather than amplifying our voices? consider your white privilege, because there are parts of fandom that impact on real life. 

there is so much more i want to talk about, so much more i could talk about in this post (going into women of colour specifically), but the post would become far, far too long, and i’ve answered quite a few asks regarding this issue, so do check them out if you’re interested in knowing more about my take on different issues regarding fandom racism. 

(and here’s an ask where i link several posts about fandom racism in the witcher fandom, and in fandom in general)

feel free to send me asks or dm me about this! this is just my take on things and i’m speaking from my limited experience, so i might not be the best equipped to talk about this. i’m open to discussion, i’m still learning and developing my views on this, so please do talk to me if you find an issue with what i’m talking about or want clarification on anything<3

[dailymeruem]

Royal Guard Nomenclature

You might know the Royal Guards for having some creative names, and if you’re anything like me, you’ve probably read HxH Wiki trivia on where the names came from. However, I haven’t seen any comprehensive post getting right into it, so lets have some fun research time and look into the origins of the Chimera Ant Royal Guard’s namesakes and how they might have affected Togashi’s characterizations of them! 

While i’m trying to keep everything as brief as I can, this will be a longer post so if you want to gain some knowledge and kill some time, read on! I’ve linked sources throughout the post for further research!

Naming Origin Sources

All three of the Guard’s names - Neferpitou, Shaiapouf, and Menthuthuyoupi, respectively- were chosen by the Chimera Ant Queen prior to their birth in the story. They are mashups from two sources - Ancient Egyptian mythology, specifically the pantheon of traditional gods and goddesses, and a French children’s book series entitled Caroline et ses amis (Caroline and her Friends) written by Pierre Probst. 

The Guard x Egyptian Gods

In Ancient Egyptian life, people worshiped a large number of deities which represented natural forces and phenomena (sunlight, life, childbirth, etc). The people regularly offered sacrifices and performed rituals to please the gods so that these forces would continue to function according to divine order (ma’at). Each god or goddess had complex relationships, characteristics, and symbolism associated with them. {x}

Neferpitou x Nefertem

The first half of Neferpitou’s name, “Nefer-”, is derived from the Egyptian deity Nefertem. A very ancient god by Egyptian mythos standards, this god is associated with the lotus flower, as he was believed to have emerged in a water lily from the primal waters at the creation of the world. He also represented the first sunlight and the lovely smell of the Egyptian blue lotus. Nefertem is usually depicted as a young, beautiful man, and sports titles such as “He Who Is Beautiful” and “Water Lily of the Sun”. {x}  {x}

In HxH, Neferpitou is the first Royal Guard to be born, which ties in nicely to Nefertem’s being a very early god born from the creation of the world as well as being associated with the first sunlight. As for the beauty aspect, Neferpitou’s androgynous appearance could play into this factor, as some gods in the Egyptian creation myths were depicted as androgynous.

Nefertem’’s mother is often credited as being Bast/Bastet, the guardian goddess of cats, or Sekhmet, the warrior goddess of healing (both goddesses are often considered to be two aspects of the same goddess). These goddesses are both depicted with cat or lioness heads, and so Nefertem is often depicted with a lion’s head or as a lion. I needn’t say more about this tie to Neferpitou! Aside from the cat aspect, Sekhmet’s being a goddess that both goes to war and heals is reflected in Pitou’s dual nature- both a ruthless killing machine in their own right and with their Terpsichora ability making instant armies, and a reliable healer using the Doctor Blythe ability, showcasing a compassionate side. {x} {x}

Shaiapouf x Shai

Shaiapouf’s Egyptian name component comes from Shai, which, interestingly, is not so much an entity as it is a concept- the deification of the concept of Fate. The name Shai is usually translated as “that which is ordained”. This god was said to determine the span of each person’s life; he was with each person at their birth and remained with them through their life until their final judgement in the underworld (duat). Shai would offer the true life story of the individual at their judgement, and could either protect or damn them. This deity has so much power in the Egyptian mythos that even pharaohs and other gods were subject to it.  {x} {x}

Now, although Shaiapouf as a character doesn’t have an omnipotent power over fate, the concept of fate runs really strong in Pouf’s characterization. Pouf, along with the other Royal Guards, was present at King Meruem’s birth, and intended to stay at his side throughout his whole life, guiding and protecting him. This is a role that Pouf seemed to take to heart, almost to an extreme. As we know, Pouf saw the King’s destiny of becoming the ruler of the world and dominating all other species as being absolute, and began to actively work against the Guard and even the King himself when he began to stray from the fate that Pouf had “preordained” for him. Going so far as to attempt to kill Komugi, who was the most important person to the King, Pouf’s actions, although out of a motivation to protect the King, would have been damning for the King had he succeeded.

Shaiapouf’s nen ability, Spiritual Message, gives us a hint as to his namesake as well. The god Shai hid nothing from Osiris (god of the underworld) at the final judgement of that person’s life, and so does Pouf’s ability allow him to see the absolute truth about a person’s emotional state by reading their flow of aura. This gives Pouf the ability to come to conclusions about that person’s personality, thoughts, and possible course of action, seemingly allowing him to predict their “fate”. {x} 

Also, this may be a trivial fact, but Pouf has the habit of ending his sentences with, “That’s all there is to it”. A very final and fateful statement indeed.

Being a concept, Shai is neither male nor female, but is more often depicted as being male. In this form, he is often said to be married to Renenutet (cobra goddess of child rearing who gave newborn babies secret names), or Meskhenet (goddess of childbirth). These three are often depicted together which gives us a definite picture of the cycle of birth and death. {x}  {x}

In HxH, after Meruem is mortally wounded by the Miniature Rose Bomb, we get the lovely and terrifying experience of seeing Pouf and Youpi feed themselves to the King in order to revive him. In this scene, both guards are ecstatic as they have ascended to the level of a Chimera Ant Queen and are filled with an unconditional motherly love for their King. The ties here between this occurrence and these trifecta of gods associated with birth and life are pretty strong.

A few final small factoids: The Greek people associated Shai with their god Agathodaemon, a god of fortunetelling that was considered to be a serpent. As well, the word Shai was also an Egyptian word for “Pig”. Thus, Shai was sometimes depicted as a serpent-headed pig, also called the Shai animal. I am reminded of the time Pouf was shown to be able to rearrange his cells to impersonate a certain blind Gungi player.

Menthuthuyoupi x Montu

The final Royal Guard, Menthuthuyoupi, bears the name of Montu, a very powerful and ancient god in the Egyptian pantheon. Montu (also written as Monthu or Menthu, the latter which Youpi uses in his name) originally was a manifestation of the scorching effects of the sun (Ra), but over time this was modified to mean destructiveness in battle, which led to Montu being known as a god of war. He was said to attack the enemies of cosmic order (ma’at).Montu is usually depicted with a falcon head or a bull head. Falcons were a symbol of the sky, and bulls symbolized strength and war. {x}  {x}

Montu was often linked with other gods and is depicted as a fusion of those gods. For instance, because of his association with Ra, he often appears as Montu-Ra. Occassionally he is linked to Atum (another creator god) and Set (god of scary natural phenomena and deserts). Over time, Montu was also linked to Horus, a god associated with the pharaoh, and therefore Montu is sometimes seen as being a symbol of a Pharaoh as a ruler and conqueror.

In HxH, Menthuthuyoupi definitely embodies the warlike aspect of his namesake. Being the only guard not made from human genetic material, he is able to act on instinct and devote himself completely to being a soldier for the King, attacking anyone who threatened the King’s divine rule. Being immensely powerful, Youpi was capable of immense damage with his Rage Blast and Rage Incarnate nen abilities. As well, just as Montu gradually evolved over time to represent more complex aspects of life in Ancient Egypt, so too did Youpi evolve over the course of the Chimera Ant Arc, which gave his life new and more complex meaning.

The many forms Montu can take reminds us of Youpi’s unique Metamorphosis ability, which allows him to change any part of his body at will to suit his needs. Youpi’s Rage Incarnate form, in which his body takes the worm of a winged centaur, is a callback to Montu’s two most common depictions; as a Falcon (Youpi’s wings), and as a Bull (Youpi’s hooves). {x}

One of Montu’s wives was thought to be Tjenenet, another goddess of childbirth, which has ties to the event of Meruem’s rebirth discussed in Shaiapouf’s section above.

An interesting tidbit of info is that Montu was sometimes though to be a guardian of family life. He is sometimes mentioned in marriage documents to enforce commitment; infidelity is described as “the abomination of Montu”. While this doesn’t really have anything to do with Menthuthuyoupi aside from maybe reflecting in his loyalty to the King, the next time you feel tempted to cheat on your significant other, imagining a frowning Youpi may dissuade you.

One thing that each Royal Guard has in common with all of their Egyptian namesakes is that all strive to support what they see as the Divine Order using their individual strengths, even if their methods of supporting this order greatly differ.

The Guard x Caroline et ses amis

The Caroline series is a series of French childrens picture books, or albums, written and illustrated by Pierre Probst. There are 44 books in the series, which were written from 1953 to 2007. They follow Caroline, a little blond girl who is independent and active, and her 8 mischievous animal friends, who talk like humans. The series was adapted into an animated TV show titled Caroline et ses amis in 1994, which is most likely the source Togashi got the names for the Royal Guards from (and you can find on youtube!)  {x} {x}

Neferpitou x Pitou

Pitou is one of the 8 animal characters in Caroline. Pitou is a panther, and he appeared in a collection called “Les Albums roses” (The Pink Albums) in 1952, which were a precursor to the Caroline books, thus making Pitou the first character of the future Caroline series. Pitou is characterized as being lazy and cunning.

In HxH, our Neferpitou was the first of the Chimera Ant Royal Guard to be born, just as Pitou was the first character that began the Caroline series. Both of them being a cat is also a very obvious connection that both share. While there are other cats in the Caroline series, Pitou being a panther harkens to Neferpitou’s wild nature. Caroline’s Pitou being both lazy and cunning are character traits that show up in HxH’s Pitou as well; we see them exhibit extreme intellect in science, military strategy and manipulation, but at the same time they are the most playful of the Guard and get distracted very easily.

Shaiapouf x Pouf

Pouf is a white kitten that wears a blue bowtie. He is characterized as being elegant, snobbish, and eccentric. He is prone to going on rants about his dreams of greatness, much to the annoyance of everyone else, and he has little quirks such as hating water and the cold.

If it weren’t for the physical description, you might have thought I was describing HxH’s Pouf- he too is elegant, snobbish and eccentric and often goes on long, intellectual rants, which are mostly never followed by the rest of the guard. Shaiapouf is also always wearing a flowy white dress shirt that features a bowtie-like collar which is reminiscent of Pouf’s white fur and bowtie. While Shaiapouf isn’t known to hate water or cold, he does manifest peculiar quirks such as melodramatic monologues and playing his violin when he is upset.

Menthuthuyoupi x Youpi

Youpi (also spelled Yupi), is a cocker spaniel dog. He is naive, turbulent, and a little bit grumpy, but also generous, devoted and affectionate. He can be fearful and prefers staying home to going out on adventure. He really likes being cuddled by Caroline, the main character.

Menthuthuyoupi in HxH displays a lot of similar characteristics to his namesake: naive, turbulent, and devoted are all adjectives you could use to describe him. Because of Menthuthuyoupi’s lack of ego, he is solely devoted to the King and his divine destiny, not bothering to give a thought to other courses of action, which could be a reflection of Caroline’s Youpi prefering to remain in the safety of home. After Meruem’s revival, when Youpi and Pouf share a affectionate spiritual bond with him, Youpi is shown to cherish the new bond he has with his King, just as Caroline’s Youpi is affectionate towards Caroline.

~~~

One thing that all the Royal Guard share with their Caroline namesakes is that both sets of characters unquestioningly follow an independent leader character that they love and support. As well, in the case of Neferpitou and Shaiapouf, their manner of dress is a homage to Caroline- Pouf dresses in a very elegant and frilly ensemble, very French of him, in my opinion- and Pitou’s outfit is reminicent of both an old school French military uniform and a child’s school uniform.

A bonus Caroline homage in HxH: The titular character Caroline is famously depicted with her pigtail hairstyle. A certain blind Gungi player is also famously shown sporting a similar hairstyle.

Bonus Section: Meruem’s Name

Although not containing as much lore as his Royal Guard, the King’s given name can give us a few fun tidbits in keeping with the etymology of the Guard.

As you know, in-universe, the Chimera Ant Queen states her son’s name, Meruem, to mean “the light that illuminates/shines on everything”. His name is very close to the common Arabic name, Maryam (مريم), which has multiple romanized spellings. The most notable use of this name is in Biblical history as a form of the name Mary, who was the mother of Jesus, and Miriam, who was the sister of Moses. 

It is thought that the name might have roots originating in the Egyptian language; the words “mry” (beloved) and “mr” (love) are thought to have been derivatives of the name.This root meaning would work in portraying the love that the Ant Queen had for her son, even before birth.

Other scholars have thought that the Hebrew root words “mr” (bitter) or “mry” (rebellious) were the basis of the name in the case of Miriam, as she was born at a point in history when the nation of Israel was subject to bitter slavery by the Egyptians. “Bitter” and "Rebellious” might be words you could use to describe Meruem, at least when he is first introduced to us. {x} {x}

Other fun tidbits: Meruem’s characteristic “neutral” face expression, young and feminine facial structure, and characteristic “cat eyes” is very reminiscent to a lot of ancient Egyptian art. One that stands out in my mind is the famous Head of Nefertem statue, found in the tomb of King Tutankhamun, which depicts the Pharaoh in question as a child in the form of the god Nefertem (remember him?). Interestingly, both Meruem and Tutankhamen were kings that ascended the throne (and died) very early in their lives. I’ll let you look at the piece and notice the similarities yourself!

~~~~~~

And that about does it for all the conclusions I’ve drawn. I hope you enjoyed reading through this and that it prompted you to do some reading and research of your own! Togashi chocked HxH full of fun little references to things in our real world, and it’s so much fun to do a deep dive to find all this trivia. If you think of/find any other fun things too add to this post, feel free to reply/reblog with additions. Cheers!

[continuations]

Progress vs. Categories

As humans we like to put things into categories. It makes communicating and thinking easier. Scratch that. It makes communicating and thinking possible. Categories go hand in hand with words as providing us with crucial compression of reality. Just like a 1:1 map is completely useless (it is the terrain itself), so would be a need to describe every detail of every person or object before being able to make a point. We would never get anywhere.

Not surprisingly then, categories are everywhere. For instance in venture we tend to put things into boxes such as "B2C" or "enterprise software." Or in academia people study a discipline like "physics" or "chemistry." The government classifies workers as "contractors" or "employees." But here's the tricky part: the world isn't static and progress undoes categories.

The admonition to "think out of the box" when it comes to innovation is apt. Such thinking is both a source of progress and necessitated by progress. Here are just some examples. As we have deepened our understanding of what matter consists of, some of the historic boundaries between chemistry, physics and biology have stopped making sense. With computers dispatching labor we have erased many of the distinctions between contractors and employees. Self-service consumer grade software is taking over the enterprise market with product-led growth companies outperforming sales-led companies.

If you are trying to invent the new (or fund it), it helps to let go of existing boxes, instead of trying to jam innovative ideas into them. One of the reasons really disruptive startups often have a hard time raising money is because they often don't fit an existing category. At USV we have benefited greatly from having a thesis-based rather than category-based approach for that reason.

People and institutions who derive their power from controlling one of the existing categories will fight progress that might undo the importance of the category. For example, in academia the chairs of existing departments resist the creation of "inter-disciplinary" degrees (a coinage that by itself is meant to appease the existing disciplines). They also resist the creation of new departments that represent categories that make more sense on a go forward basis. For example, Information Theory, despite its importance, tends to be spread out and shoehorned into math, economics and physics departments.

The bigger and more important the categories, the more vicious the fights to protect the status quo at all cost. And that is at the heart of the gender and sex wars we are now finding ourselves in. With progress we have started to understand that these categories don't have the clear dividing lines we imagined -- for example, the biology of sex in humans is far more complex than simply what chromosomes you have. And progress allows us to make profound changes, whether that's hormone therapy, cosmetic surgery, or reproductive technologies. Even without these changes, technological progress has often rendered historic reasons for the category distinction mute. For example, soldiers used to rely on brute strength a lot, but that matters not one bit if you are remotely flying a drone.

The ultimate intervention here will be based on technologies such as CRISPR that allow us to manipulate the genome. It is only a question of time before athletes will show up crushing it in various sports who have been designed to be dominant at those sports (e.g. lung capacity for swimming). If you don't think that will happen, I suggest reading up on the sordid history of "performance" sports programs anywhere in the world. Any edge that could be had has been exploited in the past and that won't be any different going forward (especially when the interventions will be extremely hard to detect).

There are people and institutions who derive their power based on a clear distinction between the male and female categories today. They will fight progress all the way. That's why change will be hard and take a long time. Categories everywhere persist far past their usefulness because of vested interests. Anyone interested in inventing the future instead of clinging to the past will need to overcome that. The work of establishing new categories is hard and success in doing so a huge accomplishment that moves all of us forward.

PS Someone asked me how we could have new categories in sports. To answer this it is important to recognize that we already have some sports that have a single field, such as dressage or ocean sailboat racing. It is equally important to note that other sports have categories in addition to sex, such as weight classes in boxing and wrestling. We simply need to be willing to experiment with categories in other sports as well. One approach could be to have classes based on direct measurement of a key attribute. For example, I love tennis. We now have the tools to measure the speed of balls at all times. Imagine tournaments based on speed classes. Slow, Medium, Fast. If you want to compete in a class you have to stay within the speed limit of that class. It's just another rule, not really different from that you have to stand behind the baseline to serve. I believe we would have many more interesting matches with these categories than we have today!

[woman-loving]

Early Gay Male Terminology in New York

Selection from Gay New York: Gender, Urban Culture, and the Making of the Gay Male World, 1890-1940, by George Chauncey, 1994

This book argues that in important respects the hetero-homosexual binarism, the sexual regime now hegemonic in American culture, is a stunningly recent creation. Particularly in working-class culture, homosexual behavior per se became the primary basis for the labeling and self-identification of men as "queer" only around the middle of the twentieth century; before then, most men were so labeled only if they displayed a much broader inversion of their ascribed gender status by assuming the sexual and other cultural roles ascribed to women. The abnormality (or "queerness") of the "fairy," that is, was defined as much by his "womanlike" character or "effeminacy" as his solicitation of male sexual partners; the "man" who responded to his solicitations--no matter how often--was not considered abnormal, a "homosexual," so long as he abided by masculine gender conventions. Indeed, the centrality of effeminacy to the representation of the "fairy" allowed many conventionally masculine men, especially unmarried men living in sex-segregated immigrant communities, to engage in extensive sexual activity with other men without risking stigmatization and the loss of their status as "normal men."

Only in the 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s did the now-conventional division of men into "homosexuals" and "heterosexuals," based on the sex of their sexual partners, replace the division of men into "fairies" and "normal men" on the basis of their imaginary gender status as the hegemonic way of understanding sexuality. Moreover, the transition from one sexual regime to the next was an uneven process, marked by significant class and ethnic differences. Multiple systems of sexual classification coexisted throughout the period in New York's divergent neighborhood cultures: men socialized into different class and ethnic systems of gender, family life, and sexual mores tended to understand and organize their homosexual practices in different ways. Most significantly, exclusive heterosexuality became a precondition for a man's identification as "normal" in middle-class culture at least two generations before it did so in much of Euro-American and African-American working-class culture.

One way to introduce the differences between the conceptual schemas by which male sexual relations and identities were organized in the first and second halves of the twentieth century (as well as this book's use of terminology) is to review the changes in the vernacular terms used for homosexually active men, and, in particular, the way in which gay came to mean "homosexual". This does not mean reconstructing a lineage of static meanings--simply noting, for instance, that gay meant "prostitute" before it meant "homosexual." In keeping with the methodology of the study as a whole, it means instead reconstructing how men used the different terms tactically in diverse cultural settings to position themselves and negotiate their relations with other men, gay and straight alike.

Although many individuals at any given time, as one might expect, used the available terms interchangeably and imprecisely, the broad contours of lexical evolution reveal much about the changes in the organization of male sexual practices and identities. For many of the terms used in the early twentieth century were not synonymous with homosexual or heterosexual, but represent a different conceptual mapping of male sexual practices, predicated on assumptions about the character of men engaging in those practices that are no longer widely shared or credible. Queer, fairy, trade, gay, and other terms each had a specific connotation and signified specific subjectivities, and the ascendancy of gay as the preeminent term (for gay men among gay men) in the 1940s reflected a major reconceptualization of homosexual behavior and of "homosexuals" and "heterosexuals." Demonstrating that such terms signified distinct social categories not equivalent to "homosexual” and that men used many of them for themselves will also explain why I have employed them throughout this study, even though some of them now have pejorative connotations that may initially cause the reader to recoil.

Gay emerged as a coded homosexual term and as a widely known term for homosexuals in the context of the complex relationship between men known as "fairies" and those known as "queers." According to Gershon Legman, who published a lexicon of homosexual argot in 1941, fairy (as a noun) and queer (as an adjective) were the terms most commonly used by "queer" and "normal" people alike to refer to "homosexuals" before World War II.[26] Regulatory agents--police, doctors, and private investigators alike--generally used technical terms such as invert, pervert, degenerate, or, less commonly, homosexual (or homosexualist, or simply homo), but they also knew and frequently used the vernacular fairy as well. In 1917, for instance, an agent of an anti-vice society reported to his supervisor on a "crowd of homosexualists, commonly known as 'fairies.’”[27] Another agent of the society reported ten years later that he had noticed a "colored pervert" in a subway washroom, but added that in identifying the "pervert" to another man in the washroom he had used the more commonplace term: "I said, 'He is a fairy.’”[28]

While most gay men would have understood most of the terms in use for homosexual matters, some terms were more likely to be used in certain social milieus than others. Fag was widely used in the 1930s, but almost exclusively by "normals" (the usual word then for those who were not queers); gay men used the word faggot instead, but it was used more commonly by blacks than whites. An investigator who visited a "woman's party" at a 137th Street tenement in Harlem in 1928, for instance, reported that one of the women there told him '''Everybody here is either a bull dagger [lesbian] or faggot.’”[29] The investigator, a black man working for an anti-vice society, appears to have believed that the term was less well known than fairy to the "normal" white population. When he mentioned in another report that two men at a Harlem restaurant were "said to be 'noted faggots,'"[30] he quickly explained to his white supervisor this meant they were "fairies.” While gay white men also used the term faggot (although less often than blacks), they rarely referred to themselves as being “in the life," a phrase commonly used by black men and women.

Most of the vernacular terms used by "normal" observers for fairies, such as she-man, nance, and sissy, as well as fairy itself, emphasized the centrality of effeminacy to their character. In the 1920s and 1930s especially, such men were also often called pansies, and the names of other flowers such as daisy and buttercup were applied so commonly to gay men that they were sometimes simply called "horticultural lads." ("Ship me home," said a “nance” to a florist in a joke told in 1932. "I’m a pansy.")[32] The flamboyant style adopted by "flaming faggots" or "fairies," as well as its consistency with outsiders' stereotypes, made them highly visible figures on the streets of New York and the predominant image of all queers in the straight mind.

Not all homosexual men in the prewar era thought of themselves as "flaming faggots," though. While the terms queer, fairy, and faggot were often used interchangeably by outside observers (and sometimes even by the men they observed), each term also had a more precise meaning among gay men that could be invoked to distinguish its object from other homosexually active men. By the 1910s and 1920s, the men who identified themselves as part of a distinct category of men primarily on the basis of their homosexual interest rather than their womanlike gender status usually called themselves queer. Essentially synonymous with "homosexual," queer presupposed the statistical normalcy--and normative character--of men's sexual interest in women; tellingly, queers referred to their counterparts as "normal men" (or "straight men") rather than as "heterosexuals." But queer did not presume that the men it denoted were effeminate, for many queers were repelled by the style of the fairy and his loss of manly status, and almost all were careful to distinguish themselves from such men. They might use queer to refer to any man who was not "normal," but they usually applied terms such as fairy, faggot, and queen only to those men who dressed or behaved in what they considered to be a flamboyantly effeminate manner. They were so careful to draw such distinctions in part because the dominant culture failed to do so.[33]

Many fairies and queers socialized into the dominant prewar homosexual culture considered the ideal sexual partner to be "trade," a "real man," that is, ideally a sailor, a soldier, or some other embodiment of the aggressive masculine ideal, who was neither homosexually interested nor effeminately gendered himself but who would accept the sexual advances of a queer. While some gay men used the term trade to refer only to men who insisted on payment for a sexual encounter, others applied it more broadly to any "normal" man who accepted a queer's sexual advances. The centrality of effeminacy to the definition of the fairy in the dominant culture enabled trade to have sex with both the queers and fairies without risking being labeled queer themselves, so long as they maintained a masculine demeanor and sexual role. Just as significantly, even those queers who had little interest in trade recognized that trade constituted a widely admired ideal type in the subculture and accepted the premise that trade were the "normal men" they claimed to be.

Ultimately men who detested the word fairy and the social category it signified were the ones to embrace gay as an alternative label for themselves. But they did not initiate its usage in gay culture. The complexity of the emergence of the term's homosexual meanings is illustrated by a story told by a gay hairdresser, Dick Addison, about an incident in 1937 when he was a fourteen-year-old "flaming faggot" in a Jewish working-class section of New York:

“A group of us hung out at a park in the Bronx where older boys would come and pick us up. One boy who'd been hanging out with us for a while came back once, crying, saying the boy he'd left with wanted him to suck his thing. "I don't want to do that!" he cried. "But why are you hanging out with us if you aren't gay?" we asked him. "Oh, I'm gay," he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air like an hysterical queen, "but I don't want to do that." This boy liked the gay life-the clothes, the way people talked and walked and held themselves--but, if you can believe it, he didn't realize there was more to being gay than that!”[34]

Gay, as the story indicates, was a code word. Gay men could use it to identify themselves to other gays without revealing their identity to those not in the wise, for not everyone---certainly not the boy in this story (unless he was simply using the word's protean character to joke with the group)--knew that it implied a specifically sexual preference. But it did not simply mean "homosexual," either. For all the boys, the "gay life" referred as well to the flamboyance in dress and speech associated with the fairies. Indeed, it was the fairies (the especially flamboyant gay men), such as the ones Addison associated with, who used the word most in the 1920s and 1930s. Will Finch, a social worker who began to identify himself as "queer" while in New York in the early 1930s, recalled in 1951 that the word gay "originated with the flaming faggots as a 'camp' word, used to apply to absolutely everything in any way pleasant or desirable (not as 'homosexual'), ... [and only began] to mean 'homosexual' later on.”[35]

The earliest such uses of gay are unknown, but the "flaming faggots" Finch remembered doubtless used the word because of the host of apposite connotations it had acquired over the years. Originally referring simply to things pleasurable, by the seventeenth century gay had come to refer more specifically to a life of immoral pleasures and dissipation (and by the nineteenth century to prostitution, when applied to women), a meaning that the "faggots" could easily have drawn on to refer to the homosexual life. Gay also referred to something brightly colored or someone showily dressed--and thus could easily be used to describe the flamboyant costumes adopted by many fairies, as well as things at once brilliant and specious, the epitome of camp.[36] One can hear these meanings echo through the decades in Finch's comment in 1963 that he still "associate[d] the word with the hand waving, limp-wristed faggot, squealing 'Oh, it's gay!'”[37] One hears them as well in the dialogue in several novels written in the late 1920s and early 1930s by gay men with a camp sensibility and an intimate knowledge of the homosexual scene. "I say," said Osbert to Harold in The Young and Evil, perhaps the campiest novel of all, "you look positively gay in the new clothes. Oh, said Harold, you're lovely too, dear, and gave him a big kiss on the forehead, much to Osbert's dismay.”[38] A chorus boy gushed to his friend in another, rather more overwritten 1934 novel, "I'm lush. I'm gay. I'm wicked. I'm everything that flames."[39] And Cary Grant's famous line in the 1938 film Bringing Up Baby played on several of these meanings: he leapt into the air, flounced his arms, and shrieked "I just went gay all of a sudden," not bceause he had fallen in love with a man, but because he was asked why he had put on a woman's nightgown. The possibility of a more precisely sexual meaning would not have been lost on anyone familiar with fairy stereotypes.

The word's use by the "flaming faggots" (or "fairies"), the most prominent figures in homosexual society, led to its adoption as a code word by "queers" who rejected the effeminacy and overtness of the fairy but nonetheless identified themselves as homosexual. Because the word's use in gay environments had given it homosexual associations that were unknown to people not involved in the gay world, more circumspect gay men could use it to identify themselves secretly to each other in a straight setting. A properly intoned reference or two to a "gay bar" or to "having a gay time" served to alert the listener familiar with homosexual culture. As one gay writer explained in 1941,

“Supposing one met a stranger on a train from Boston to New York and wanted to find out whether he was "wise" or even homosexual. One might ask: "Are there any gay spots in Boston?" And by slight accent put on the word "gay" the stranger, if wise, would understand that homosexual resorts were meant. The uninitiated stranger would never suspect, inasmuch as "gay" is also a perfectly normal and natural word to apply to places where one has a good time. ... The continued use of such double entendre terms will make it obvious to the initiated that he is speaking with another person acquainted with the homosexual argot.”[41]

Will Finch provided a similar example in 1946, when he described how a young man tried to determine whether Finch's friend Edward, whom he had just met, was also homosexual. The youth, obviously very interested in Edward, "acts all right," Finch reported, by which he meant the youth did not act like a fairy and make it clear he was homosexual by camping, "but throws in a few words like 'gay' for Edward to follow the lead on, but Edward plays dumb."[42] And in the early 1930s a speakeasy on East Twenty-eighth Street seeking gay patronage noted suggestively that it was located "in the Gay 20's." Similarly, in 1951 the Cyrano Restaurant let gay men know they were welcome while revealing nothing to others by advertising itself as the place "Where the Gay Set Meet for Dinner."[43]

While such men spoke of "gay bars" more than of "gay people" in the 1920s and 1930s, the late 1930s and especially World War II marked a turning point in its usage and in their culture. Before the war, many men had been content to call themselves "queer" because they regarded themselves as self-evidently different from the men they usually called "normal." Some of them were unhappy with this state of affairs, but others saw themselves as "special"--more sophisticated, more knowing--and took pleasure in being different from the mass. The term gay began to catch on in the 1930s, and its primacy was consolidated during the war. By the late 1940s, younger gay men were chastising older men who still used queer, which the younger men now regarded as demeaning. As Will Finch, who came out into the gay world of limes Square in the 1930s, noted in his diary in 1951, "The word 'queer' is becoming [or coming to be regarded as] more and more derogatory and [is] less and less used by hustlers and trade and the homosexual, especially the younger ones, and the term 'gay' [is] taking its place. I loathe the word, and stick to 'queer,' but am constantly being reproved, especially in so denominating myself.”[44]

Younger men rejected queer as a pejorative name that others had given them, which highlighted their difference from other men. Even though many "queers" had also rejected the effeminacy of the fairies, younger men were well aware that in the eyes of straight men their "queerness" hinged on their supposed gender deviance. In the 1930s and 1940s, a series of press campaigns claiming that murderous "sex deviates" threatened the nation's women and children gave "queerness" an even more sinister and undesirable set of connotations. In calling themselves gay, a new generation of men insisted on the right to name themselves, to claim their status as men, and to reject the "effeminate" styles of the older generation. Some men, especially older ones like Finch, continued to prefer queer to gay, in part because of gay's initial association with the fairies. Younger men found it easier to forget the origins of gay in the campy banter of the very queens whom they wished to reject.

[divinaes-bookofsecrets]

Hello! May I please request a spirit guide reading, if you are accepting those at this time? My initials are NS, Sagittarius. Thank you in advance, and I hope you have a lovely day/evening.

HELLO , DEAR SAGITTARIUS ♐ 😘You travel with a great many Spiritual Guardians ; The one that's most important 😊 and most prominent is an enchanting witch goddess.

Her name is Wendolina‐Lynn aka Linà-Lynn but ýou may just call her WENDOLINA

Her sex: female

Her age: 44

Her lucky numbers: 4, 7, 19, 22, 300

Element: FIRE ELEMENT

Zodiac���Symbol: ♈ Aries, ♌ Leo

(Her horoscope sign mixes with yours impeccably!!! She is your exact perfect match for friendship, even for a relationship in love 😍 but I do not, as a Shamanic Healer, suggest that you pursue any thing romantic with this highly mystical being )

PLANET THAT RULES HER: MARS , and THE SUN

Her Greatest Strength: Dynamic Energy, Motivation, Drive and Willpower, Passionate, Achiever, Enthusiasm

Her Weakness: Desire, Sex Drive,Temperamental

Magick Powers; Cleansing and Purification, Hexes and Banshment and Protection and Prosperity

Moon Phase: Full Moon, 🌙 🌔 🌖 🌛 Eclipse 🌑 Moon

SEASON; YULE

Her Energy is Tied To ACTION !

Time of Day: Noon

Direction: South

Tarot: Wands

Although Goddess Wendolina is eternally a Fire Sign 🔥 😍 She flows like 💧 Water She was born from her ancestors 🌟 in the 🌟 stars !! & She is currently 44 as of this year; She ages one year each and every decade! Lady Wendolina the ♈ Aries woman has been, by the Creator and Universe, molded for you. Ĺady Lina-Lynn iis not ýour typical witch, she's more of a witchesss! And her beauty knows no end. Your Witchess is dark looking if you choose to see her that way, but if you choose to see her fertile enlightening light 😉 ✨ you'll soon see how you are connected 😏 to this mystic enchanting goddess .

Here is she. 🍒🍀🌼🍇🐛🌷🦋🕸🕷🕸🌺🍂🍃

Lady Wendolina-Lynn , is an Aries Goddess of mystical ethereal feminist ♥ ✨ power. She believes in equality--- She thinks that men and women should be sharing more and have equal rights ✅ but of course this sounds a lot like Lilith story does it not🙄 well, there's a reason for that too. Lady Wendolina is actually one of Lilith daughters ! This explains how her down fall is her sex drive. Well, she's deffinitely an amazing Aries specimen isn't she?

Lilith gave her daughter Wendolina the Witchess all the glory, beauty, and powers to behold. She is, like Lilith, demonized 😈 by the men of Earth 🌎 ♥ and the Church.

Wendolina uses her witchy ways to look dark but subtle enough to still practice white magick with her powers. She is the most powerful ✨😈 demon spawn and we should all be proud she uses her powers for only good not evil ever 👏 she's such a sweet darling demonness spawn !!

She has two major looks that are her main makeup choices she (like above) dresses and does Lilith inspired makeup ---Then Wendolina-Lynn does space effect warpaint; representing the stars and the moon where she came from 🌟 🌙

Next ill explain the story of her Mother, Lilith, story as it ties into also the independent woman that your Spirit Guide is plus the independence she represents!

Lilith is an extremely controversial figure within Jewish folklore. Lilith's name is not included in the creation story of the Torah but she appears in several midrashic texts. Her symbolism, history and literature are debated among Jewish scholars, feminists and other intellectuals. There are multiple origin stories for Lilith but the most popular history told views Lilith as the first wife of Adam. According to the "first Eve" story Lilith was created by God from dust and placed to live in the garden with Adam until problems arose between Adam and Lilith when Adam tried to exercise dominance over Lilith. One story tells that Lilith refused to lay beneath Adam during sex. She believed they were created equal, both from the dust of the earth, thus she should not have to lay beneath him. After Adam disagreed, Lilith fled the Garden of Eden to gain her independence. Adam told God that Lilith had left and God sent three angels, Senoi, Sansenoi, and Sammangelof, to retrieve her. The three angels found Lilith in a cave bearing children but Lilith refused to come back to the garden. The angels told her they would kill 100 of her children every day for her disobedience. In revenge, she is said to rob children of life and is responsible for the deaths of still-born infants and crib deaths (SIDS). Male children are at risk of Lilith's wrath for 8 days after birth (until circumcision) and girls are at risk for 20 days. Although Lilith stole children's lives in the night, she agreed not to kill the children who had amulets of either of the three angels.

After the angels' departure, Lilith tried to return to the garden but upon her arrival she discovered that Adam already had another mate, Eve. Out of revenge, Lilith had sex with Adam while he was sleeping and "stole his seed." With his seed she bears 'lilium,' earth-bound demons to replace her children killed by the angels. Lilith is also said to be responsible for males' erotic dreams and night emissions. Another theory says that Lilith is impregnated, thus creating more demons by masturbation and erotic dreams.

🐉🌸ĹILITH AND WENDOLINA HAVE AN APPETITE FOR EARTH MEN🌸🐲

The open-ended nature of the Lilith symbol has allowed different groups to use her as a destructive female symbol or a symbol of female power. Many feminists see Lilith as not only the first woman but the first independent woman created. In the creation story she refuses to allow Adam to dominate her and flees the garden despite the consequences. In order to retain her freedom she must give up her children and in retaliation she steals the seed of Adam. In one account of this story, Lilith is said to "mount Adam" (click here for this version). This version of the story implies that Lilith sexually violated Adam; however, other stories portray Lilith as a demoness who kills children and takes advantage of men while they are sleeping. Jewish halakhic law forbids the spilling of a man's seed and Lilith takes advantage of this, during masturbation and erotic dreams, and uses it to replenish her own offspring.

Although Lilith is controversial some feminists have used her as a symbol of empowerment. For example, one Jewish feminist magazine is called Lilith labels itself as an "Independent Jewish Woman's Magazine." The publishers use Lilith as a title because they believe she is a symbol of independence. However, those who still think of her as a demoness could turn it around and once again label feminists as male bashers or men-haters. They see Lilith as wicked and vengeful towards men and children. With any symbol or icon used by feminists, especially within a religious context, there will be controversy and opposition. Whether or not the story of Lilith is accurate is not the main issue. The "first Eve" version of the story gives Lilith a role that many women can identify within Judaism and other religious traditions. She is an independent woman who challenges the oppressive system in which she is placed. Stealing the lives of children represents a certain madness that accompanies her solitude and exclusion. Despite Lilith's downfalls, she still remains a symbol of power simply by her survival and mysteriousness. She is open for interpretation and therefore allows women to reinterpret her symbolism and power within the tradition.

Picture Lilith's daughter the demoness 😈 spawn sort of like Mortisha Adams from the Adam's Family tv. Show. She's sweet, sultry, she could seduce you, and she's pale but deffinitely dark in a cheerful fun way !

Wendolina's mystical senses have brought her to you at this time to bring you a very important message ;

Here's your messages

Sagittarius predictions for May 17 - May 23

You may be lamenting that there don't seem to be any exciting new opportunities coming your way. You may feel bored and stuck in a rut, wishing that some unique proposition would be yours for the taking. Maybe there is something out there for you, but if you are stuck in a mindset where you are expecting something very specific, Sagittarius, you might not recognize a good thing that is different, even if you metaphorically trip over it. Be open to any chance that comes to you this week, even if it doesn't meet with your preordained idea of what can bring you the success you want. A positive change of circumstances is in the stars for you now, and this week, you may get a good glimpse of it. This could have to do with your home, your work, or your money - and may range from a change of residence to an increase in income or even an unexpected windfall. But this may not reach fruition this week - however, the tempting idea of it may come to you with the promise of fulfillment soon. This is a good time to seal deals, negotiate contracts, or ask for investors if you are in such a position. You should be brimming with energy and initiative right now.

-- Wendolina-Lynn aka Lina-Lynn

So watch out for your financial situation is about to change dramatically or you'll be moving residents please take this as a good thing that you've been waiting for this might just be the changes you need.

IF YOUR LOOKING FOR A GOOD SHAMAN , LOOK NO FURTHER: I AM HERE!!

All Spells..... $18 depending on what you wishing for or desiring as result

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroes (Updated) by DarkChild316

“Guess who’s back…back again! DarkChild’s back, with 10 more friends!” LOL, sorry for that lame-ass joke, but I was listening to some Eminem earlier today. Anyway, my terrible sense of humor aside, I thought it would be a good time to give my list of “My 10 Favorite Anime Heroes” an update, figured since I did one for the villains I thought shit, might as well do one for the heroes too! Now once again, this list is strictly for the men only, if you want a list of my favorite anime queens, check out my list of “My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines”. But in the meantime, enjoy this updated list of my favorite anime heroes:

#10. Izuku Midoriya (My Hero Academia): One of the newest (and quite literally) entries on my list, Deku is a character who dreamed of becoming a hero in spite of being born without a Quirk or any kind of powers in a world dominated by heroes with them. Only to be chosen as successor to the greatest hero of the age, All Might. A humble yet caring fanboy at heart, if All Might represents the Golden Age of heroes, then Deku represents the future of heroes in the Modern Era. He may be a socially awkward cinnamon roll at the best of times, but don’t let that fool you into thinking that he’s not willing to stand up and do what’s right when the chips are down and the world needs a hero to stand for, no matter what form of villain is in the way! The only reason he doesn’t rank any higher on this list, is because he’s still relatively new to the scene and time will tell where he stands in the Patheon of anime legends.

#9. Inuyasha (InuYasha): He’s half dog-demon, half human: put it all together and what do you get? A sword-wielding hybrid who knows how to take care of business. Originally wanting nothing more than to become a full demon, his human heart trumped his selfish desires, leading him to fall for the modern-day schoolgirl he vowed to protect. Fighting through feudal Japan to recover fragments of the Sacred Jewel, InuYasha can be both cold and rude, yet heartfelt and compassionate. Plus, he makes us all laugh whenever we see this happen.

#8. Alucard (Hellsing): There have been a shitload of vampires in modern anime, yet all of them owe their debt to this tall, dark, well-dressed man. There has never been a vampire as delightfully sadistic as Alucard but unlike most vampires, there’s a method to his sadism that makes him truly brilliant. He isn’t truly evil, he’s just a monster who revels in destroying other monsters in any sadistic way he sees fit. And he truly revels in it, making his victims (most of which are evil Nazis and powerful demons) believe they actually have a chance by damaging them before regenerating and wrecking them in devastating fashion. This isn’t to say he’s totally heartless though, as he’s shown a great deal of fondness for the members of his team who are just as devoted to ridding the world of the evil forces that threaten it. Even though the anime version of Alucard mentions that he doesn't entirely understand humans anymore, he seems happy to work in the service of them, and to protect them from devils who aren't as honorable as he is.

#7. Kenshin Himura (Rurouni Kenshin): When I was a kid, Rurouni Kenshin was my favorite anime growing up and Kenshin was my favorite character. Having had a chance to revisit this anime recently during lockdown reminded me once again why that is, Kenshin is easily the most compelling character I had seen growing up as a kid and he was a refreshing change of pace in the samurai genre. Firstly, he was quite feminine to the point that many mistook him for a woman. He was also one of the politest characters in anime history, frequently putting others before himself and speaking to them with the utmost respect and patience. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think the guy would be better suited as a florist that a samurai. But underneath that smiling exterior hides a dark secret, Kenshin is a man haunted by the demons of his past. A former mercenary who killed countless foes, he makes a vow to never kill again, and is repeatedly tested on that vow time and time again as less virtuous people endanger the country’s peace. When Kenshin's hand is forced, he can go to incredibly dark places and fall back into the habits that made him known far and wide as the most fearsome swordsman in the land. Although Kenshin’s momentary lapses make him a complete badass and set the stage for some of the most epic sword battles ever animated, Kenshin always goes back to his sweet persona once the danger is gone. But in his solitary, quiet moments, he's gripped by his greatest fear; that one day he will permanently revert to his former self and become a manslayer once more.

#6. Spike Spiegel (Cowboy Bebop): I’ll admit, it had been a long time since I’d seen Cowboy Bebop, so naturally I had forgotten about how cool a character Spike Spiegel was. Thankfully, this pandemic has allowed me to revisit it, and I find myself being just as in awe of Spike as I was when I was kid in the 90’s, he’s that awesome a character folks! Spike was an amalgamation of influences (from Bruce Lee, to Lupin III, and a little dose of film noir), and the result was a creation greater than the sum of its parts. In a series like Cowboy Bebop, which was itself a combination of cultural influences from around the globe, Spike was the essence of the story. Voice actor Steve Blum launched his career into new heights when he gave the performance of a lifetime in the English dub of the series, giving Spike a sense of smooth, effortless cool that many argue surpassed the original Japanese version.

Spike proved to be a versatile character; he was an expert pickpocket, a gearhead who worked on his own spaceship, a clever detective, a badass fighter, and even a bit of a philosopher. But what made Spike most interesting was his past as a gangster, and a man hopelessly in love. His relationship with Julia, and the tragic end of that relationship, haunts him throughout the series and shows us what truly mattered to him all along. When Cowboy Bebop reaches its powerful conclusion, Spike goes out in a blaze of glory that is unmatched in the history of anime (all I have to say is “Bang”).

#5. Ichigo Kurosaki (Bleach): The first of the shonen “Big 3” to appear on my list, you’d think being born with the ability to see ghosts would be enough, but not for this high-school bruiser. After a fateful encounter with a Shinigami, Ichigo gains the power of a god of death, and is tasked with defending his home from the malicious spirits known as Hollows. As his seemingly endless battle stretches to other planes of existence and some truly frightening enemies, both Quincy and Hollow, this orange-haired swordsman will keep fighting to protect what matters most to him no matter what.

#4. Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece): The second member of the shonen “Big 3” to make my list, this straw-hatted rubber-man takes my vote for his carefree spirit and his big heart. With the dream of grabbing the title of Pirate King, Luffy is a man who thinks with his stomach and fists rather than his head. Always in the pursuit of adventure, this happy-go-lucky guy may be the last person you consider when you think pirate captain. But you’d be wrong: You mess with Luffy’s crew and he’ll declare war on the entire world to save them.

#3. Naruto Uzumaki (Naruto): Talk about a rough childhood. After having a powerful demon sealed inside of him, Naruto was a social outcast in the shinobi village he grew up in; even though people despised him for being the vessel for the Nine-Tailed Fox demon he did not take the darker path in life nor did it deter him from pursing his dream of becoming the village leader to gain the respect and admiration of those who once shunned him. Naruto’s growth as both a ninja and human can be seen throughout the series,  as it was this good nature of his and the will to protect everyone close to him that slowly changed the attitude of people towards him as the bonds of friendship he forges make his dream worth fighting for.

#2. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist): Wildly ambitious, wickedly smart, and wise beyond his years, Edward Elric entered the stage with a fresh, but interesting take on the modern shonen anime hero. Unlike those who came before him, he wasn’t this lovable idiot with a heart of gold. He was smart, calculating, arrogant, and shrimp sized. But most daring of all was the fact that Edward is technically handicapped, having had both an arm and a leg lost in a tragic accident fueled by love and hubris. In Edward we had a character who unlike most anime heroes was truly multidimensional. He could be comedic and pull off wild takes and sight gags. He could be placed in the most tragic circumstances and portray the deepest kind of sadness. He could be a complete badass, but he could also be the nicest guy on the planet. And most of all we saw Edward discover harsh truths about the world and learn that he didn’t know nearly as much as he thought he did.

#1. Son Goku (Dragon Ball): With the greatest respect to those like Luffy and Naruto, none of those characters would have ever been possible without this man (and the creators of One Piece and Naruto have even admitted this themselves). The prototype for shounen lead characters, Goku was somewhat of an anomaly back in his day. When the plucky, pint-sized kid Goku first appeared in Dragon Ball, the trend for male heroes was to have larger than life muscle heads (which Goku ironically turned into in his adulthood). Goku also grew up; another drastic change in a time when characters rarely changed much. But Dragon Ball Z is where Goku truly earned his fame. Goku isn’t even the most popular character in DBZ sometimes, but he is the foundation of the series. His heroism, strength, and dedication make him the perfect core for a kid’s show where the themes are meant to be pretty simple. He may not be the most complex character in anime history, but he’s perfect for the goal he was meant to accomplish. But Goku isn’t my top hero so much for his character complexity; it’s his influence that cannot be denied. He was, in many ways, a character that bucked the trends of his time and defined the direction of shonen manga/anime for decades, and that's why he's my #1 anime hero of all-time.

So that's my list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroes are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[path-of-my-childhood]

"Miss Americana" Director Lana Wilson on Capturing Taylor Swift, Mid-Transformation

By: Chris Willman for Variety Date: January 31st 2020

Lana Wilson was taking a risk - albeit a pretty good bet - when she set out to make what turned out to be “Miss Americana,” her new Netflix documentary. As Taylor Swift told Variety: 

“When I began thinking about maybe possibly having a documentary-type thing happen, it was really just because I felt like I would want to have footage of what was happening in my life, just to have later on in my life, even if we never put it out, or even if we put it out decades down the line. When we brought Lana on board, I was pretty open with her about the fact that this may be something that I wasn’t actually ready to put out. So I think we began the process without a lot of pressure, because I didn’t necessarily think that it was an actual eventuality to put out the documentary.”

Wilson was too fascinated by what she was getting early on to worry much about whether her subject would sign off on releasing it. At the outset, she was catching Swift at the end of the “Reputation” album/tour cycle, when Swift was finding a more contented place in her personal life and finally exorcising Kanye-gate from her system. The star quickly moved on to the making of “Lover,” her most upbeat album, with Wilson getting fly-on-wall footage that captures the joy of creation and eureka moments in the writing process in a way few films ever have. And then things got more interesting altogether when Swift decided that the days she could afford to be standoffish about what was happening in the country had come to an end. The movie - and by now, it was a movie - had its third act.

Variety spoke with Wilson for the magazine’s cover story last week on Swift, prior to “Miss Americana’s” Sundance premiere. Here’s a breakout of more of that conversation.

There is some footage in the movie that goes back a few years that clearly predates your involvement. When did you start filming - was it during the “Lover” writing and recording sessions or the “Reputation” tour before that? I came on during the tour. She had been collecting bits and pieces of footage; she often filmed stuff with her own cell phone - songwriting stuff. Netflix introduced us, and we really hit it off the first time we met. She had watched my previous work, and I had admired her for years, not just for her music, but also the fact that she had written all of her own songs since she was 15, and that she’s the sole creative force behind the whole shape of her career. When we met, I remember being excited that she didn’t want to make a traditional pop star documentary. She knew that she was in the middle of a really important time in her life, coming out of a very dark period, and wanted me to collaborate on something that captured what she was going through that was raw and honest and emotionally intimate.

When we first talked about it, she immediately wanted me to bring my perspective as a director to what was going on with her now and to make a film that really had something to say. I think the first time we met, we talked for 20 minutes about narrative structure in documentaries, and we even talked about film score in documentaries. At one point she said that she didn’t like documentaries that are like propaganda, and I was thrilled to hear that. In my work, I take stories that are often told through sound bites and headlines and bring depth and complexity to them. My goal is always to reveal the humanity that’s beneath the oversimplification. And to me, there are few things more frequently diminished and reduced by others than female creative forces.

It could be seen as a feminist statement, or at least some kind of intention on her part, that she picked someone who’d made an abortion documentary (“After Tiller”). It could also mean that she was just more comfortable with a woman. I think that’s totally true. When I started filming, it was before she’d come out politically. But that said, even before meeting her, I could only imagine how much pressure and scrutiny she’d faced as a powerful and successful female artist. And I definitely sensed that those pressures would be ones that other people and especially other women and girls could relate to. Obviously, yeah, I’m a female artist working in a male-dominated industry. So although Taylor and I inhabit very different worlds, I figured that we’d have some shared experiences. And I also worked with an all-female crew, which I do think helped her feel comfortable right off the bat, and a small crew. When I met her, she hadn’t done an interview in almost three years. The first one she did was an audio (-only) interview with me for this film. So it was a big deal, and trust was a big part of that.

You had an all-female crew, but Morgan Neville’s name is on there as a producer, and he’s not a gal. [Laughter.] What’s his role in it? He was a part of the creative process, and it was wonderful to get to work with him, as a creative sounding board, from start to finish. On the crew, I will say that we did always have male production assistants, because I like trying to show people that men can fetch coffee for women, and not just the other way around! So that was the only exception to the all-female rule.

It had to have been a small crew, when you were filming the fly-on-the-wall creative stuff in the recording studios, sometimes in very small control rooms. It was often just me and one or two other people in the room with her, trying to keep the footprint as small as possible. You know, no one had filmed her writing songs before. That was some of my favorite stuff to film, but it was also the stuff where we tried to really be the most low-key presence possible. You’re just in a tiny room, and it feels so amazing to watch her get in the zone creatively. One of the most fun parts for me as a director is when it feels like you’ve been in the studio for enough hours that everyone is so relaxed that you really feel invisible in a wonderful, exciting way.

When she’s having the talk with her team about wanting to make endorsements for the midterm elections, which is maybe the most important scene in the film, it’s not clear if that is something you shot or if that was something that was on the spur of the moment, where she had someone get a camera in your absence. That was spur of the moment. So that was something someone on her team shot who was pretty good with the camera. That was very last minute. I’d been starting to work with her and talk with her before that, and I’d say, “If something’s happening last-minute that could be at all important or meaningful, film it with your cell phone, of if there’s someone around you that has a little DSLR camera or something, they could film it.” It allowed us to get really powerful, crucial scenes like that one that might’ve been hard logistically to get otherwise. And I love the personal quality of that material from especially the few little bits of stuff from her cell phone.

She told us she wasn’t sure she wanted to actually make or release a movie when filming started. Did she make that clear to you when it started? Like, this might be on spec, and might not come out? Well, it was less talking about the end result and more, honestly, just talking about what she was going through emotionally at that time and the kind of things that were on her mind. Then we’d brainstorm stuff that could be cool to film. I love the idea of filming really quiet, almost more mundane moments, because I think that ordinary/extraordinary contradiction that’s so central to the life of someone in the public eye is really interesting. I loved that moment early in the film where she’s alone in the car in the dark after the show riding to her hotel room - the idea of going from being on a massive stage in front of tens of thousands of people to being an ordinary person alone just going to bed at the end of the night.

She’s already been pretty candid with her fans. There are moments in the film where she’s shown as being annoyed with the fans and photographers gathered outside her door and that sort of thing. Do you think she felt okay with being portrayed as not being happy at all times? Oh yeah, totally. She’s a complex human being, and I think whether you like her music or not, if you watch this movie, you really get to know her as a human. And as you say, she writes so candidly in her lyrics about the hardest times, the times when she made mistakes. And that is what her fans love her for. But a lot of people don’t share their hard times. The most popular photos on Instagram are of weddings and babies, when what’s really relatable and what’s meaningful is connecting with someone over that time things weren’t perfect, or the friendship or relationship that didn’t work out, or the argument you had with your mom or something. You know, everyone wants to feel less alone in the more difficult experiences in life. And that’s one reason why they turn to art. And I think it’s why people watch movies. And the happy moments are meaningful when you’ve also been through the sad ones. Young girls need to see that their heroes are just as human as they are. And I think girls and boys of all ages could benefit from that reminder.

I want people to be surprised by it because I think that Taylor Swift is someone who everyone thinks they know. But I think if people start watching this film, they’ll realize they’re watching a film about this iconic artist deciding to live life on her own terms, and it’s a feminist coming of age story. I think they’ll be surprised by her sense of humor and her self-awareness, and they can appreciate the craft of songwriting, for instance. So I hope that even if people are not fans, that they’ll watch the movie and be really surprised and also feel like they’ve just met a complicated, layered human being.

Very few people at the superstar level have the gift of healthy self-awareness that she seems to have. Self-consciousness, yes, but self-awareness, that’s more rare. Yeah, it’s so true. I’m sure you’ve seen bits of the home movies in some of her videos in the past. When I looked at the home movies, what struck me the most about them is that she really always has been the same person. She’s been kind and generous and smart and imaginative and very hardworking since she was a girl. At age 11 she knew exactly what she wanted to do with her life. One of my favorite moments in the archives in the film is this clip of her, where she’s like in a diner and it’s just after the release of her first album, and she’s 16. Her childhood dream has just come true. And she tells the interviewer that she wakes up everyday being like, “Yes, this is happening.” But then she tells herself, “Now you have to figure out how to make it last.” That is so her. She had so much maturity and pretentiousness then, and she knew she wanted this to be her career and her life, and she wanted to write songs forever. It’s incredible to see a person at that age that self-possessed and cognizant.

At one point she says she wants to use her platform to speak out because she’s aware she won’t be in this position forever, where her opinions have some kind of import. Not that she’s predicting a major downfall, but she knows she won’t always have this attention. That’s undoubtedly true, but at the same time, she’s one of the only ones besides Beyonce that we would imagine being almost as big a star in 20 years, and not necessarily subject to the normal standards of diminishment of interest. She’s conscious of the historically short lifespan of female pop stars, and it’s so poignant when she says that. But it’s hard to know what will happen, though, because she issuch a trailblazer. I mean, there’s just been no one like her, and her fan base and the relationship she has with her fans is so unique, and, I mean, she’s already done so many things that no one else has done before — who knows what will happen in the future? She is cognizant of what’s happened in the past and what’s going to happen in the future … but it could be anything, because she’s different than anyone that’s come before.

We can hope we all live long enough to find out what a 50- or 60-year-old Taylor Swift is like. I love that idea too. I want to go to the arena tour of a 60-year-old Taylor Swift. I want to know what the songs she’s writing then are.

The last third of the film focuses on her decision to make a political statement and what comes after. It was a profound decision for her to make, and a multilayered one. In that, I saw this feminist coming-of-age story that I personally connected with, and that I really think women and girls around the world will see themselves in.

You didn’t actually have the “Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince” song in the movie, but that’s the song on the album that most speaks to her political turn. So it seemed like a good thing to title the movie after? It was cool because it’s obviously, yeah, a reference to this song she wrote that has political themes. It was interesting that when the documentary was announced, her fans instantly understood some of the themes the film would have, because of the song title. And then for me, even if you don’t know the song, I see the movie as in some ways looking at the flip side of being America’s sweetheart. So I like how the title evokes that, too.

You have the twin moments of disappointment in the movie. Early on, you have the Grammy disappointment, and then later there’s the midterm result disappointment. Those are the parallel scenes, almost, where she’s having to deal with the results not turning out as she planned and one of these ultimately being more important than the other. I’m glad you noticed that. That means a lot. One thing that I think is amazing about her is that she goes to the studio and to songwriting as a place to process what she’s going through. I loved how, when she got the Grammys news, this isn’t someone who’s going to feel sorry for herself or say “That wasn’t right.” She’s like, “Okay, I’m going to work even harder.” And I think it’s amazing how you see her strength of character in that moment when she gets that news. Then with the election results, I loved how she channeled so many of her thoughts and feelings into this song (“Only the Young”). It was a great way to kind of show how stuff that happens in her life goes directly into the songs. You get to actually witness that in both cases.

Were you surprised that she addressed having had what could be described as an eating disorder? She seems hesitant to use that term but finally does. She’s been open about so many things, but that’s not something that she’s revealed. No, that’s one of my favorite sequences of the film. I was surprised, of course. But when you hear her talk about it, I love how she’s kind of thinking out loud. And yeah, she’s an icon of beauty, but even for an icon of beauty, as she articulates so beautifully, women are in this double bind situation. It’s impossible for anyone to meet every standard of beauty. It’s an impossible situation. And every woman will see herself in that sequence. I just have no doubt. And I do think people will be really surprised by it.

I tend to be clueless about these minor shifts in weight or body size, until people point them out en masse. It never would have occurred to me that she was any less thin on the “Reputation” tour until I started seeing comments about weight gain. But there are those who have their antennae out for the slightest change, and often it’s women, maybe it’s because you’re under that scrutiny yourselves. But you can also just not notice people being really skinny, because we’re all so accustomed to seeing women on magazine covers who are unhealthy skinny, and that’s become normalized. I think it’s interesting what you say about what you read during “Reputation” about her weight, because you really can’t win. There is a moment in the film where you see that part of the media backlash she experienced during 2016 was people saying, “Oh, she’s too skinny.” People complain if you’re too skinny, and if you’re not too skinny, you’re too fat. It’s incessant, and I can say this as a woman: It’s amazing to me how people are constantly like “You look skinny” or “You’ve gained weight.” People you barely know say this to you. And it feels awful, and you can’t win. So I think it’s really powerful to see someone who is a role model for so many girls and women be really honest about that. It’s a brave thing of her to do, and I think it will have a huge impact.

Her interactions with Kanye West are such an essential part of the story, but that’s not a name that has really ever escaped her lips publicly since 2010; she’ll say “a person” or something euphemistic if she has to address it. So I was in suspense to see whether or how much it would come up in your film,  given how little capital she wants to give this guy in her life. It’s a crux, twice, of her journey of self-acceptance, but it’s easy to imagine her not wanting it in the film. I think it’s an important part of the story, but I wanted to position… Like, with the 2009 VMAs, what was surprising to me when I asked her about it was that she talked about how the whole crowd was booing, and she thought that they were booing her, and how devastating that was. That was something I hadn’t thought about or heard before. And it meant a lot more to me because it made more sense in the context of her being this extraordinary young artist who is doing so well, and who, like so many performing artists, loves applause. And then she is on stage [still as a teenager] and it felt like all these people were booing her. When you put it that way, it’s so much more relatable to me, and it’s understandable to anyone, because we all want people to like us. And being on stage with a giant crowd booing would be horrible for anyone. So we tried to use it in a way that showed it in a slightly different light than people have seen before... We all care about what people think about us. It’s not a celebrity problem. It’s a universal one. It’s something everyone goes through, and I think the difference is that with Taylor, it plays out on a massive international stage.

At the outset, you’ve got her in voiceover talking about how she wanted to be the good girl and be accepted. And in the end, she is a good girl, so maybe that’s not a bad thing to want to be, but there are gradations of that. She’s played around with bad girl archetypes in the “Reputation” imagery and songs, but it was role-playing to a degree. Where do you think she ended up on the scale of all that? She starts out as a good girl and she ends up as a good girl who’s decided to speak out. You know, we live in a society in which girls are taught that other people’s approval is of paramount importance to our self-worth. “Do they like me? Was I nice enough? Are they mad at me?” Every woman I know is constantly asking herself these questions. So it’s so relatable in that way. But it’s not about not being a good person. I think that the arc in the film and what Taylor went through was letting go a little bit of what other people think of her, deciding to live on her own terms, and to put her own values first. The transformation that you see is going through this period where she lets go a little bit of that. She’s a good girl speaking out now, in a way. You can’t win everyone over. No one can. I think she’s really accepted that in a deep way.

[blogbyliv]

Personal Reflection

Liv Gardner 

Women’s Writing Worldwide

Prof. Richard

30 July 2021

Personal Reflection

Growing up as a young woman in a conservative town where feminism is seen as an outlier, devil-made, radical set of ideals, my understanding of the term has always been mixed. From birth to age 14, the concept was somewhat foreign. What little I knew about it did not bear a positive connotation and it seemed to always loom in the background, an uncomfortable topic, like race or sex, that no one seemed to want to discuss. As I moved into a different high school, one away from my hometown, one advanced and labeled as a college preparatory school, things changed. I was exposed to new teachings, new ideas, new people, and the connotation and anonymity of the word in my life changed. As we fast-forward to today, I look at things like this course, one that my pre-teen self could have never imagined would exist or let alone would be one that I was taking, and I admire the impact it has made on my overall body of knowledge. While the world around me has not changed, the community still bearing the same traditional and sexist sentiments as always, it seems as if I have, undoubtedly for the better. 

As I searched for inspiration for such a project, I tried to look back through the TedTalks we often annotated this summer. Many struck me again with the veracity of their messages, but there was one in particular that moved me just as it had the first time: a young woman who was speaking about her Indian heritage and culture. I listened as she talked about the traditions that involved the garments and accessories of the women. She explained how Indian women took pride in their beautiful bangles and colorful saris, but how this would so quickly change once their husbands passed. Their saris would only be allowed to be white and their bangles would be broken. Their lives were seen as irreparable once without a man. This struck me then, just as it did again recently. The clothing, shoes, and accessories that women wear can often say a lot about their culture, how their culture views them, and what they value. At the same time, there can also be heavy misconceptions about these garments that can mark a group of women indefinitely. In my commonplace project, I wanted to explore all of these things. There are countless cultures across the world that are often overlooked, or, conversely, noticed, quickly misunderstood, and then passed by. Coming from a household where my mother owned her own boutique, I knew this was a topic I wanted to explore. Through my blog, I worked to highlight specific garments of different groups of women and look at what each said explicitly about their circle. In my choices of cultures and clothing, I also sought to find pieces that represented various topics and concepts that we had learned and explored throughout the last eight weeks. 

There were various objectives I wanted to meet with my writing for this project. The first one was to highlight misconceptions that we commonly have about certain cultural garments. One example that I used for this was the hijab. Through our unit on Islam and our extensive readings on the wearing of the hijab, I was drawn to highlight its ability to be a fashion statement just as much as it is a religious one. Society, because of media misrepresentation and single stories of the culture, has often linked the hijab to the idea of subjugation. Many see it as the antithesis of feminism. In reality, it is quite the opposite. Musliim women who choose to wear a head covering do so by their own free will. While some states do still exist that make it a mandate to cover, most are progressing away from this traditional and sexist way of operating. For the majority of Muslim women, covering is seen as a privilege and a religious duty that exhibits their dedication to their faith. This dedication, as mentioned before, does not mean it has to be unfashionable. I wanted to highlight through my blog the many prints and styles of hijab that exist for Islamic women to dress and have fun with. Another misconception surrounds the kimono of Japan. For many, the depiction of the kimono often stems from some form of fighting movie that was Americanized and popular in the states. It also typically pictures only a male wearing such garments. Through this blog I wanted to show that traditional garments do exist for women and in actuality are much more complicated than the males. While this might simply be a stylistic detail, it seems to be the culture’s own reflection of how they view women as a whole, touching on another objective I sought to meet within my project. 

Throughout this project, I also wanted to achieve a series of connections between the garments and some of the specific topics we learned throughout the summer. One of these was colonialism and post-colonialism. We can look specifically at the dress of the Herero women to see this illustrated. Mimicking much of the 19th century Victorian women’s dresses, the Herero women are known for their clothing called the Herero dress. The garment that identifies the women are not of their own creation, but yet a piece of German socialization that was left behind following their early 20th century invasion. The Herero dress still exists today, but not for the reasons one would assume. In their pursuit to convert and conquer the Herero tribe, the Germans were the perpetrators behind a mass genoicde that wiped out a majority of the tribe. Not only did they leave behind trauma and pain, but also their style. The Herero women of today wear the dress not to show that they were products of cultural diffusion, but rather as a symbol of rebellion. By wearing the piece on their own terms and in their own styles, they believe they have taken back a bit of their history and made it their own. Another piece of clothing that we can see through the eyes of post-colonialism is the maasai shuka. The Maasai are a group of semi-nomadic people residing around the area of Kenya in Africa. Brough to the area by both Scottish missionaries and colonizers, the shuka resembles a blanket and can be draped in various ways to cover and protect the body. It is known for its bright colors and prints that can vary based on location in the region and the group of people within the Maasai that wear it. 

Aside from connections to our learning topics and exhibiting the misconceptions of some cultural pieces of clothing, I also wanted to highlight basic garments that were traditional in some popular nations, but are often overlooked within the eyes of Americans. These are pieces like the Ao Dai in Vietnam and the tichel in Judaism. While the garments can be interwoven into the themes and objectives mentioned prior, the emphasis on their existence is what I really sought to highlight within the blog. 

Growing up in a household dedicated to profiting off of and maintaining what you look like, I have always understood the power, both positive and negative, that clothing holds. Fashion gives us confidence. This can be confidence in ourselves, confidence in our faith and religious ties, or confidence in our culture and nationality. Regardless of its form, it gives us a boost, a push that allows us to feel empowered in all that we choose to do. Yet, there is another side to its power. Fashion also creates divides. It can separate one class from another, one nationality from its neighboring state, and even one age group from those above and below it. Regardless of its purpose or the role it plays for the women and other individuals who wear the pieces, all fashion can be united under one word: beauty. Each piece featured within this project shows dedication to a variety of things. There is dedication to the garment itself, dedication to a nation of origin, and even dedication to a specific religion. Each of the pieces show intricate designs and bright colors, all of which represent those who wear it and the regions from which they originate. They also embody the strength of the women who wear them. For the Herero women, we see the capability to overcome cultural subjugation and persecution. For the Muslim women, we see the power to separate themselves from society and profess their faith and beliefs through the covering of their hair. For Jewish women, we see the fortitude to break a tradition long dominated by men, and the slow and progressive adoption of the tzitzit into daily wear. Each has their own story, their own origin, their own connection to those who wear them, yet all embody beauty and promote the strength of the females who are fighting for a place within their own cultures and within society as a greater whole.

[those-garsh-darn-homos]

My encounter with God

I used to be a person of high faith, and I believed there was a higher deity looking down on us. The question of whether that deity is a man, woman, or not even human at all, had always plagued me, or the reasoning for their indecisiveness on so many issues in the world. Just like so many others, I would sit awake on nights and ask, how could a God allow such evil to flourish in this world? Such injustice to go unchallenged and unresolved. My first encounter with God, came just I did.

It was a late, sleepless night. The day had been long and hard, and the week had been worse. Life was moulding together into a miasma of daily tasks that I completed with no true accomplishment being felt by the end of any of them. So, there I lay, looking at the ceiling, asking myself questions that I did not have the answer to such as “why was I here? What purpose do I even have anymore? Would anyone miss me if I disappeared tomorrow?”. I had ostracized myself from social circles in order to distance myself from any further stress and conflict in life, but the decision had only brought me more pain and misery. Nothing could help me get out of this pit of despair I had dug myself into, not drugs, not sex, not even the fucking tube. I was well and truly hopeless, in every sense of the word. Despite my internal philosophical conversation, I still felt natural urges that needed satisfying, as my thoughts suddenly shifted to a pair of double-D breasts I had saw on the bus that particular day. I sighed and reluctantly unzipped my fly, preparing to charm the one-eyed snake like so many nights before. First, I envisioned touching them, feeling them up like one might do to the melons in the fruit aisle. I slowly moved up to rubbing my face against them, feeling my airways being blocked by sacks of colostrum. Finally, the fantasy involved me hotdogging the two globes while twisting the mammary glands sensually, since it wasn’t only my enjoyment that mattered at the end of the day, right? I could feel the climax on the horizon, the body tensing, mind racing, breathing manic, until it happened, and my life was changed forever. As the semen ran up the urethra, time slowed, what was seconds, became a minute, and my sense of reality shifted momentarily. My dark, humid, piss scented bedroom, was filled with an overwhelming light, so much that my eyes began to water. A figure stood in front of me, and as strange as the situation was, I did not feel scared, but more as though I was in a familiar old family home. The figure stood, illuminated and shadowed by a beam of light emanating from behind them. They outstretched their arms to me and began to speak, but as I heard their first words, it all disappeared, the light, the figure, the vision, it was all over within a minute. I grabbed my chest as I felt my heart racing from the incident, thinking I had gone mad or had some sort of stroke. I cleaned up my cum covered body and went to bed, thinking of the figure, and why the vision had affected me so deeply. It didn’t concern me as much as I thought it should. Words at the time could not explain my feelings or emotions towards the event. For such a bizarre event, it didn’t feel out of place in the slightest, in fact I felt oddly calm and understanding about the vision.

I woke up the next morning and went about my day, feeling far more peaceful and fulfilled then I ever had. I had thought of myself as a hopeless case for so long that the feeling of peace was so foreign to me. I had conversations with people, I enjoyed what I was doing, thinking of that figure the whole time. I was never really a believer in the paranormal or anything of the such, but any rational explanation that I tried to tell myself, I found it was all just so unsatisfactory, it didn’t explain it. It wasn’t in my head, it was real, somehow, it shouldn’t have been, but it was. The workday ended and I was left to walk home. Once there I partook in the usual time wasters, TV, food, reading, but as midnight neared, I felt the urges again, like clockwork. I held my manhood in one hand and stared into the ceiling, waiting for the climax, and when it did, my eyes were met with blinding lights once again. I felt as though I was the deer in headlights, taking aback by the incandescent glow, body frozen in time as it’s beauty shun upon me. The figure stood before me once again and I asked “who are you?” and as the light dimmed and the vision weakened, I heard their reply “God”. It didn’t last as long this time. What was a minute last night, only felt like 30 seconds this time. It was definitely shorter.

Fears related to my own sanity began to rush my thoughts. I really had gone mad if I was talking to God, but it didn’t feel like some sort of imagination, it attacked all my senses. Incense burning, light shining, angels singing, my mind couldn’t have possibly created that, could it? I went to get a CAT scan the next day. When they slotted me into the machine, I was expecting them to find some sort of brain bleed or tumour that was inducing visions but they assured me there was nothing on the scan. While it was relieving in one aspect, at the same time I was no closer to understanding the reason for these visions, and I was apprehensive to disclose that I was seeing God every time I orgasmed to a phycologist, knowing they’d probably lock me up in the looney bin.

Weeks passed and fear of seeing God had gripped my soul tighter than a virgin’s ass. I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing them for seconds, all those questions I would have, all those arguments that I wouldn’t be able to have in that little time we do have together. Their glow, it filled me with feelings I hadn’t felt since I was a child. Such feelings of safety and protection I had thought I had forgotten so long ago, and yet came back to me like familiar tunes in the back recesses of my memory. Why me? Why would I be visited by God, when there are those on the verge of death that need guidance from such a figure. I don’t even go to church. Motivation filled me however, I felt imbued with creativity, to fulfil my dreams and do what I wanted to do, not what I was told. I created art, stories that I was proud of. I put them out for the whole world to see, to share in my pride of my creations, and for once in a long time, I felt happy with myself.

The solutions to my problem had been narrowed down to divine intervention. I would have to enlist the help of the Catholic clergy if I wanted to understand any of this madness. I visited a church and asked the Priest for guidance. We sat and he asked what was troubling me. I responded to his question with one of my own. “Father, have you ever actually met him?” I said, he bowed his head in assurance and replied, “The lord watches over us, there is no need for him to speak to us” which I took as a no. If he had never met God himself, then why is he a fucking priest? What is holding his faith together? “I did, last night Father, as I pleasured myself, I saw them, there was a light and they spoke to me. I keep seeing them but only for seconds now, not even, I see them in a glimpse now. I have tried to stop but every time I see them I feel at peace with myself, their glow is just has ineffable effects on my soul, it gives me faith in myself, more than it does in God” He once again understood and wrapped an arm around me in comfort, “Do you believe God has come to you for a certain reason my child?” yet as he said it, I didn’t have an answer for him, “I’ve lost my faith? Could that be why they came to me? I’ve also been stuck in a cycle of self-loathing, it’s hard for me to love myself Father, I try so hard, but life keeps seeming more pointless by the day. I ask myself why we’re here, why I’M here, but I never have the answer. I have lost my purpose for life. Do you think God visited me to help me re-follow the path of righteousness?” He assured me that God had a plan for me, as did he for all of us. “Your worries are needless my son, God does not put us here for no reason, there is always a bigger picture just beyond our view. We may never fully see it, but the important thing is we are always contributing to it”. His words did comfort me, and his guidance did assist me. I knew I would have to find a way to ask God what his plan was, if I had any hope of understanding anything in this world or my future. I could not sit back and know that the answers to everything were in my grasp, I could only see them for mere seconds that was the problem. Like a dog being teased with the scent of fresh meat, I was salivating and in desperate need of sustenance, only of the mental verity instead of the digestive.

In desperate times, desperate measures become viable options, and in this time, I had only one. My interactions with the Holy ghost had become flashes, missed if I so much as blinked. I would only get a syllable out to them if I was lucky and then the light would fade in an instant. For months I hypothesized ways to achieve a state of orgasm for longer since I had narrowed that exact moment as I achieve climax to be the one moment where they come to me. I had come to the realization that women achieve longer orgasms than men thanks to the large amount of nerves in their clitoris which was specifically intended for pleasure and nothing else. At first, I was worried about the implications of becoming a transgender woman, leaving behind my previous sex for a life filled with the hardships of a female in such a male dominated world, but I couldn’t miss my opportunity to help the world, if it meant waving farewell to my magnum private eye, then so be it. It took a few weeks but once I had begun taking the estrogen to start the process, my body became far more sensitive to any slightest touch. Soft breezes against my skin tickled the hairs on my arm and gave the sensation of feathers running up and down my back. I knew the treatment was working when the light returned, this time for at least ten seconds. He knew how much joy I felt seeing him again and did not ruin the emotion thick in the air by speaking, they only outstretched their hand, and placed it in my own. I closed my eyes as I held on tight, and while the light may have faded, I felt their hand in mine for all of that night, giving me more love than I had ever experienced in my life, just from their hand alone. I refused to open my eyes, to see them gone, so I simply lay, holding on until I fell into unconsciousness.

Time passed as it does, and I had refrained from pleasure of any kind until I would finally have my clitoris. With this golden ticket to speaking with the lord of all life, I would be able to right the world of all wrongs, to answer questions long thought to be forgotten and impossible to comprehend. I would have the knowledge of Gods and save the world from itself, to rectify humanity and all of it’s selfishness and greed. People would look up to me, they would see my wisdom and share in it, bringing about a new age of humanity. I would be a prophet, the next Moses or Muhammed, come to set the world on it’s proper path.

The day of the surgery came and before I went under, I envisioned speaking with him, I thought of every question, I would bring the worlds woes upon his shoulders and make him fix it. As our creator he would have to do exactly that. The surgeons began their procedure, and I could feel the beginning of my new life had started in this very moment. No longer would time be a hinderance to my meetings with God, no longer would I have seconds to speak with no words spoken in that time, no longer would their omnipotence go unnoticed, they would have to answer to me, they would have to fix it all. My prayers could no longer be drowned out when I was the only one standing in front of them, they would have to bring my father back, they would have to fix my finances, they would have to make all sickness cease and death an afterthought of the human condition. Perhaps they had simply been ignorant to the cries of help from humanity and all those in desperate need to divine intervention. The amount of people they simply watched die, and for what? Joy? How could they sit and watch that every day? Never feeling guilt upon their shoulders. It’s sick to think of God as some sadist, but to not do anything for these people, why else would they do it? He can help them, can’t he? If God is good, how can he simply watch us suffer? Is he really omnipotent, or have we just assumed that he is in fact a God above man? Every horrible thing done onto me throughout my life, flashed in my head as I underwent that sex change surgery, everything that God sat back and watched happen, and in that moment, I hated God, I hated everything he stood for, silent observation in the face of suffering.

When I awoke from the surgery, I inspected my newly bequeathed meat curtains. The wonders of modern science did not fail to amaze me. I ran one finger over the clitoris and knew in an instant, I would have more than enough time to speak with God after this. I was discharged and sent home, and on that night, I took the leap, and met my maker. I began to ring the devil’s doorbell, and after much ringing, he answered. Weeks of pent-up sexual pleasure had led to this moment, and as the endorphin release began, so too did the turning point of my entire life. The light engulfed me in all it’s beauty and for the first time, God came to me, not shadowed any longer, showing their true self. It was a woman, the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Long pristine brunette hair, eyes green like fields of fresh grass, skin as soft and smooth as silk. This was God? “I know you’re surprised, and I know why you’re here, you have some questions for me don’t you?” her voice, it was, so soothing, how could I feel so much hatred for someone so perfect in every way? “You’re God?” I asked, giving her a smile on her own face from my question “They played me as a black man in Bruce Almighty, is it that surprising that I could be a woman?” She had a point, no reason why it could be impossible. “My child please, ask me anything you wish to know and I will tell you” for months I had waited for this moment, and not even the first expectation I had about this encounter was right. If God was a woman, what else about her was a lie? How much did we really know about God? Had I really just imagined all of this? I sat down and asked my first question, “Why?”. She understood it perfectly, crossing her legs in preparation for a long chat. “Why are you here? Because I created you, long ago, I had a plan for you, just like everyone else. When I created the first tiny little organism that would later become you, I knew I was creating something perfect”. Her answer rattled my brain, I had been planned for all of time? “You don’t understand, why are humans here God? Why do you watch them suffer? How come you don’t help those in need?” and as much I wanted her brow to furrow and her expression to be one of anger, she remained calm and began to speak once again.

“You see, humans are not like many other creations of mine. When I created you, humans that is, I gave you something that no other entity has had before, the knowledge of the Gods. You’ll find it referenced in the Bible, when Eve ate the apple, but most of that is all metaphors. There was no garden of Eden, but it did represent the beginning of humanity. I couldn’t explain to people two thousand years ago the process of evolution, so I had to explain their purpose in another way, in a way they would understand. Humans are wiser now, but it did serve its purpose. As for your second question, it’s very simple, you are all Gods in your own right. I gave you my knowledge so that you could prove that good can prevail over evil. You might be thinking, and yes, it’s true, God is capable of evil, greed, anger and hatred too, I am just like you. The only difference between humans and I, is your mortality, which is a blessing that I was never given. I have been cursed with immortality, for a sin I am unaware of.” As she said that, I thought about God’s creation, did someone give her life? A God above Gods? She continued “Your mortality is something I gifted you with to see the importance of life. While you may see death as something to fear, it gives you reason to strive for greatness. If you knew you would never die, you would never see a point to life, you would never want to use your time for anything meaningful, since there would be so much of it. Your mortality gives you reason to do the right thing, to respect life in all it’s beauty. If all sickness and suffering was healed by me, you would have no reason to live. You would not see life for the impermanent thing that it truly is, you would become complacent, ignorant to the good in this world. The capacity to save life is within you, all of you, every human has the capacity to do good, and just as much of a capacity to do evil. You know right from wrong, not because I told you, but because of your respect for life. Evil is in you too, just as I am not one woman, the devil is not one man, you are all Gods and devils yourselves, it is simply up to you whether to do good or evil. You say I do not help those in need, but every doctor, every nurse, every helper in this world, they are me and I am them, we are two sides to the same coin. That is divine intervention, when an ordinary person like yourself, decides to do what is right and help those around you.”

Everything she said resonated with me, it all began to make sense. The world was never so black and white, we were always living in this symbiotic relationship between our maker and ourselves. She wasn’t cruel, she could’ve been, but she decided to give life to something she did not need to. She could have made us immortal, made us loath our own existence, but she empathized, and gave us what we needed, not what we wanted. If it was not for the constant looming fear of death, I most likely would have given up before I started this life. “But what about death? Is there heaven or hell?”

She held her hand in mine and began to explain the true nature of our demise “It is not so simple, when you die, you’re not really dead. Physically yes, you’re decomposing, but spiritually, you live on in everyone you knew. Humans have developed such an amazing connection with one another that it transcends death. I didn’t understand it when I saw it, since it’s in your nature, but I have observed it closely, and while I might not feel it myself, it is a powerful thing that you can’t fully understand yourself. While you can’t affect the world yourself when you die, your life could affect the course of the future for decades to come. Generations, still feeling affects from your life, your actions have ripples in the waters of humanity that you can’t see, but I can. People may not know that it’s you that has affected them, but you are still alive in that time. That is true immortality. While you rest, your life continues, long after your heart may stop, but it does keep beating, just a little smaller, in another person’s heart.” Not only was life symbiotic but so too was death. It all made such clear sense that I didn’t understand why it wasn’t so obvious before. The suffering is there for us to stop, not God. The death is there to give us reason to end the suffering. It wasn’t cruel at all, it was the most loving thing that a mother could give to her child.

“But why can I only see you after achieving an orgasm?” The light began to dim as I asked her this, and I knew this would be the last thing she would say “Euphoria my child, I gave humans the gift of pleasure between each other. It is a beautiful thing, sex. I created it in a way that anyone can partake in it, and I made it so it would be a celebration of life. Every time you orgasm, it is a reminder that life can be good. People will try to stigmatize it, but everyone knows how good it is, and everyone has done it, it doesn’t need to be said, but no humans would be here if it wasn’t for sex. It is for those few people like yourself that have lost their way. You are not bad, but you simply need some guidance. For a few moments in your orgasmic euphoric state, you are able to transcend into my plain of existence. For those few seconds, everyone becomes a being of pure love. You have simply fallen into loneliness, you are not bad or evil, you are just confused with life. I only come to those that need me but do not know it, not those that want me but don’t need me. I have talked to many people like yourself, you might meet one or two of them but it is very unlikely. They don’t talk about me because they do not need to. That priest you talked to does believe in me, but he does not need to meet me to believe in me, he only needs to see the good in the world, and see that God is within him and so many others. Go now, live your life with purpose and do the right thing in the face of evil. Respect life, and show people that God is within everyone, they only need to believe in themselves”

With that, the light faded, and I was back to my mortal life. No more than thirty seconds had passed in that elongated moment in time, but that is all it took for me to see that it wasn’t about worshipping God or praying for the good in the world to appear. I was the good in the world, I was everything I was always looking for, and now I had to prove it, to show others the true meaning of life. Look out world, cause here comes Christine Weston Chandler. NOW STOP FUCKING ASKING ME WHY I’M TRANS!!!

[atariince]

You know it is interesting that Galadriel fantasied with which she will do with the one Ring if she had the chance. When Frodo actually offered her the Ring she loomed about him as a Dark Queen that would rule not only a kingdom but all Middle Earth. Such were her ambitions

Yes indeed, and that’s a very important element;don’t forget that her mother-name,Nerwen, means “Man-maiden”, because she displayed features that are usually ascribedto males. Among those features, her pride and her ambition are not the lesserones: “She was proud, strong, and self-willed, as were all the descendants ofFinwë save Finarfin”, says the ‘Shibboleth’, and her pride is constantly mentionedin both the ‘Shibboleth’ and the UT.

Besides, in The Silmarillion and some other texts, she’sdescribed as a true aspiring queen, who craves power and domination. During therebellion of the Noldor, she “yearned to see the wide unguarded lands and torule there a realm at her own will” (The Silmarillion Ch. 9), “she had dreamsof far lands and dominions that might be her own to order as she would withouttutelage” (UT Ch. IV).

Don’t forget that if she remained in Middle-earthat the end of the First Age, it is, depending on the versions, because

 the Valar wouldn’t allow her to return

 ”The Exiles were allowed to return - save for a few chief actors in the rebellion, of whom of The Lord of the Rings only Galadriel remained.” (UT. ch. IV), 

she had other ambitions, and refused it.

She was not the only one though, as Tolkiennoted in his letter to Milton Waldman (letters 131), when he said about the Eldar who remained in Middle-earth that “they wanted to have their cake without eatingit. They wanted the peace and bliss and perfect memory of ‘The West’, and yetremain on the ordinary earth where their prestige as the highest people, abovewild Elves, Dwarves, and Men, was greater than at the bottom of the hierarchyin Valinor”.

As for the climax of those ambitions in Galadriel’s narrativearc, which appears in ‘The Mirror of Galadriel’ in LOTR, Tolkien wrote quite alot about it ; in a draft for another letter (246) he said that “it appearsthat Galadriel conceived of herself as capable of wilding the Ring andsupplanting the Dark Lord […] In any case, Elrond and Galadriel would haveproceeded in the policy now adopted by Sauron: they would have built up anempire with great and absolutely subservient generals and armies and engines ofwar, until they could challenge Sauron and destroy him by force.”

And although “It was part of the essential deceit ofthe Ring to fill minds with imaginations of supreme power”(letter 246), at first,Galadriel nonetheless “refuse[d] the pardon of the Valar for all who had foughtagainst him [Morgoth] and remained in Middle-earth. It was not until two long ages morehad passed, when at last all that she had desires in her youth came to her hand,the Ring of Power and the dominion of Middle-earth of which she had dreamed,that her wisdom was full grown and she rejected it, and passing the last testdeparted from Middle earth for ever. (UT. Ch. IV)

Galadriel is one of the rare Elves with a completeredemption arc (with Finrod and to a certain extent, Celebrimbor), that is the meaningbehind what Tolkien called her “rejection of the temptation”. That leads us tothe question of redemption which is crucial for the Noldor (not only). 

“ Her personal ban was lifted, in reward for her services against Sauron, and above all her rejection of the temptation to take the Ring when offered to her.” (UT, Ch. IV)

In LeDictionnaire Tolkien (unfortunately it exists only in French so I’ll do my bestwith the translation), for the entry “redemption”, Annie Bricks wrote:

“ The inner reversal which brings this repentant Elf [Galadriel]to retrace her steps, comes from her own understanding of the way Arda works, andthis understanding allows her to wilfully accept Iluvatar’s laws, and not justobey them. Her former desire to contribute to the greatness and beauty of Arda throughthe creation of a kingdom has materialised, although not as was intended. Yet, similarlyto the Valar who have already noticed it, Galadriel knows then that her role andthat of her people is coming to an end, and that it would be vain to keep ontrying to revive the ancient beauty. She frees herself from her own illusions,which are hindering her, and in line with the original meaning of atonement ( at-one-ment),her redemption offers her reunion and reconciliation.”

So yes, her ambition (from her youth) was to governand to be an independent queen in a beautiful world which she would improvethrough her own government. When Frodo offers her the Ring, this ambition comes back, stronger than ever, enhanced by the will to defeat Sauron. But she understandsthat it’s not how things work, she understands her role is no longer in Middleearth ; she gives up on her ambition and humbly accepts her fate, and can thusreturn to Valinor.

Galadriel is not a flawless character ; she’s verycomplex and her motives deal with fundamental questions, theological and philosophical,and that’s what makes this character so fascinating and the story soenthralling.

In extremely later texts, Tolkien altered the story ofGaladriel, and questioned the idea of the ban of the Valar and her motives to leaveValinor, but that’s another point. Actually many other things could be saidabout Galadriel and the parallels we can draw between her and Finrod, or evenFëanor, about redemption in Arda, etc. but I think we should leave it at thatfor the moment.

[subrapture]

It appears it's time to post this again, for the newcomers and the curious.

THE OLD GUARD, HISTORY, ORIGINS AND TRADITIONS.

By Guy Baldwin M.S.

Guy Baldwin, M.S. a Los Angeles psychotherapist, served as International Mr. Leather and Mr. National Leather Association during 1989-90

While reading a recent interview with Brian Dawson, I came across some of his comments about that '0ld Guard' In the leather lifestyle. Although I used that label in a piece I wrote almost three years ago, I only recently realized that there was a strong likelihood that large numbers of leather guys don't quite know for sure what the phrase, '0ld Guard' really means. I'm sure that I have never seen a description of the style (and it is a style, so I want to offer one now. I have carried my own '0ld Guard' card in my wallet right next to my Selective Service Registration card (draft card) for long enough that I probably qualify to offer what follows so, here goes...

First, a bit of historical perspective will be more helpful than you might guess. '0ld Guard' is really a misnomer - a misapplied name - for the earliest set of habits that jelled by the mid- to late 1950s in the men's leather community here in the U . S. It is very important to remember that the modern leather scene as we now know it first formalized itself out of the group of men who were soldiers returning home after World War ll. (l939-1945).

For many gay men of that era, their World War ll. military service was their first homosocial experience (first time being thrown together mostly in the company of other men for significant lengths of time), their first time away from their growing up places, and their first experience of male bonding during periods of high stress. War was (and is) serious business; people died, buddies depended on each other for their lives, and the chips were down. Discipline was the order of the day, and the nation believed that only discipline and dedication would win the war and champion freedom: (Ever notice the especially strong patriotic feelings that happen at leather events?)

Anyway, these gay war veterans learned about the value and pleasure of discipline and hard work in the achievement of a noble purpose. They also learned how to play hard when they got the chance for leave time. Indeed, military life during wartime was (and is) a mix of emotional extremes born out of sure knowledge that one could literally be 'here today, and gone tomorrow. ' Lastly (for these purposes), the gay vets had the secret knowledge that they fought and served every bit as well as straight soldiers, and this information strengthened their self-esteem. All of these things came to be associated with the disciplined, military way of life as it existed during the wartime years.

Although not all gay men of that time served in the military, those who didn't were exposed to the military attitudes through their contact with the vast numbers of military men who were everywhere to be seen and cruised both during and immediately after the war years. In any case, all these things greatly influenced the shape of masculine gay sexualities. Mars

Upon their return to the States about 1946, many of the gay vets wanted to retain the most satisfying elements of their military experience and, at the same time, hang out socially and sexually with other masculine gay men. They found that only in the swashbuckling motorcycle culture did such opportunities exist and so the gay bike clubs were born. It was here that they found the combination of easy camaraderie, the stress and thrill of real risk taking (the riding), and the masculine sexuality that they had known during their military days.

Since one can tell who is and is not in the military only when uniforms are worn, these gay men unconsciously (in most cases) transferred their loyalties to their own uniform-the leather gear of bike riders with a few paramilitary touches thrown in. Club insignia often recalled hose insignia of special military units: Thunderbolts, Warriors, Blue Max, and Iron Cross to name only a few. Club members would exchange their insignia with members of other clubs in friendship; christening rituals were transferred from tanks, ships and airplanes to motorcycles and piss was substituted for champagne; the military dress uniform hats became the leather bike caps-all these elements were just as had been during military service.

Incidentally, during the war, the soldiers would often put on skits for their own amusement. Since women were not allowed at the front, some of the men would play the parts of women by doing a kind of mock dress-up (as in one scene from 'South Pacific'). Later, this tradition would be expressed in 'drag' shows during bike runs. So, masculine men pretended to be pretending to be women-not truly 'drag' at all. (lt. still happens in a few places.)

In any case, being in the military also meant following lots of rules. And just as in the military, there were (unspoken) rules about what you did and did not wear, how you handled your personal affairs, who you could and could not socialize with and more. All this was overlaid with a kind of ritual formalism just as in the military. Those men who were really into dominance and submission, SM, or leather sex tended to take these rules rather more seriously than those guys who simply thought of themselves as butch. The butch ones wore just enough leather to be practical when riding, and those into the exotic sexualities tended to wear more gear than necessary to signal this fact about themselves, but they all hung out together in the same settings. As you might guess, in some cases, any particular person might be into both riding and the exotic sexualities.

Just as an aside here, before and during the war, kinky folks seeking to identify each other would sometimes defensively ask, 'Do you play the mandolin or the saxophone?' to discover which of them was the masochist or the sadist by the first letter of these instruments. All this while wearing street clothes! The creation of a butch subculture by the gay vets began to allow people to specialize their sexual interests in a way that had been impossible earlier. Prior to this development. it was not apparent that there were very many ways to be gay.

The bike clubs and the bars where they hung out became the magnets of their day which attracted those gay men who were interested in the masculine end of the gay spectrum, but it was the leather men who defined the masculine extreme at that time. (Nowadays, we know there are many ways to be masculine.) This meant that those who had an inclination to kinky action pretty much felt compelled to explore kink in the context of the leather SM scene since it was the only game in town. If motorcycle riding or black leather itself was not 'your thing', that meant one felt obligated to visit the hang outs and look and act the part as much as possible to find one's way into the inner circle of those who looked like they knew something about the exotic sexualities. This meant finding out what the rules of inclusion were (how can I be included?) in order to gain access. To some extent, all this is still true because the attitude still prevails that the 'uniform'' indicates experience and social access to the Knowledgeable People.

And so, the Scene became EX-clusive rather than IN-clusive, meaning that the people in the Scene understood the rules and tried to keep outsiders out-to exclude them. An outsider became defined as anyone (butch or not) who did not have a primary interest in and experience with the exotic sexualities or at least an interest in motorcycles. (This excluding attitude was probably also reinforced by guilt about being kinky.)

I know that this combination of kinky men mixed in with motorcycle riders may sound a bit odd now, but that's how the Scene worked and, to some slight extent, still does. All through the 80's, with the emergence of kinky organizations and specifically leather/SM events, the motorcycle riding community and the kinky leather community have grown apart such that now those in one group are pretty much ignorant of or indifferent to the events happening in the other.

This growing separation is more true in larger cities which have the numbers of people that are necessary to support each of these two communities, each with separate needs and agendas. Consequently, many old and venerable bike clubs have experienced a drop in membership and some have disbanded altogether.

But for the most part, kinky people have segregated themselves out from the riders as the process of erotic specialization has continued. Generally, the riding community seems not to have minded this development perhaps because many of the members of riding clubs are either turned off or embarrassed by the erotic visibility of the kinky crowd "Birds of a feather". But for this discussion, it is noteworthy that many of those kinky people retained the paramilitary trappings, manners and attitudes of that early, core group of returning World War ll. gay vets.

Most importantly, these features of the military mind-set joined with inky interests and became erotic in and of themselves became fetishes. These men then were the original '0ld Guard', and so it will come as no surprise that their quasi-military rules of inclusion and exclusion still influence kinky society today.

So what exactly were the (unspoken) "Old Guard' rules? Here are a few of the more important ones that had prevailed by 1970:

About Attire

Always wear boots, butch ones, and preferably black.

Always wear a wide black leather belt plain, not fancy.

Never mix brown leather with black leather.

Never mix chrome or silver trim with gold or brass trim.

Long pants only, Levi's or leather, and no shorts.

Chaps indicate more commitment than Levi's, and leather pants more commitment than chaps, especially when worn consistently.

Leather Jackets must have epaulets (bike riders excepted).

Head gear is reserved for Tops or experienced or heavy bottoms only.

Bottoms may not own collars unless a particular Top has allowed that bottom to be the custodian of the Top's collar. A bottom wearing a collar is a slave, and belongs to the owner of the collar who, presumably, has the keys. Other Tops are not to engage a collared bottom in conversation, but other bottoms may do so. Should such a relationship end, the collar must be returned to the Top.

Never touch the bill of a bike cap, including your own.

Never touch another man's cap (or head gear) unless you are very intimate friends or lovers.

Keep studs and other decorations to a tasteful minimum unless they happen to be club insignia.

Never wear another man's leather unless he puts it on you.

Leather, other than boots and belt, must be 'earned' through the achievement of successively challenging 'scenes.'

Wearing gloves is reserved for heavy players, glove fetishists or bike riders.

Always indicate SM preference, only with keys left or right.

If you are cruising seriously, wear the keys out; if not seriously, tuck them in a back pocket. Always indicate strictly leather sex or 'rough sex' interest by wearing no keys at all.

Those who 'switch' are second class players and not to be taken as seriously because they haven't made their minds up. If you must switch, do so in another town.

'Full' leather is reserved for after 10:00 P.M. only and only with 'our own kind'.

Respect the public by wearing less of it during the day--don't frighten old ladies (l did once by accident), or anyone else for that matter.

About Socializing and Cruising:

Experience in the Scene determines social seniority (Top or bottom) , not age, not size, not amount of leather worn, and not offices held in organizations, awards received or titles won.

Tops and experienced bottoms should be accorded higher respect and deference unless and until they behave rudely--all are expected to observe rules of social courtesy-bad manners are inexcusable and can lower one's status in the Scene (thereby reducing access to the Knowledgeable People for information or play),

Real Leathermen keep their word: they do not borrow or lend money; they conduct their affairs with honor and integrity-they don't lie.

Preliminary social contact should be on the formal side.

'Senior Persons' (Top or bottom) are not to be interrupted when in conversation.

Experience being equal, Tops lead the conversation.

Junior Tops defer to Senior Tops and Senior bottoms in social situations.

Junior bottoms defer to all others in the Scene but not to outsiders.

When walking together, bottoms walk half-a-step behind and to the left of Tops with whom they are involved or playing.

It is up to the Top or the experienced bottom to extend a hand to invite a handshake. (All touching is highly restricted during initial contact between strangers.) NEVER over-indulge in drugs or alcohol in public, or otherwise attract scornful attention to one's self--to do so brings dishonor on the men in the Scene,

Tops should always have the first two opportunities to make verbal or physical contact,

The more submissive one is, the less direct eye contact one makes-glance frequently at or stare at His boots only when cruising; less so in non-sexual conversation. The more dominant one is, the more direct the eye contact is unless there is no erotic interest (cruising only).

Men in the Scene do not discuss (or write about) the Scene with outsiders. All men in the Scene must be able to spot outsiders with the 'right stuff' and be ready to facilitate them into the Scene after they indicate sincere interest.

None of these rules are taught or explained to anyone except by innuendo, inference, or example.

Erotic technical information is only shared among peers.

Maintain formal and non-committal relationships with those outside the scene; avoid contact with feminine men. Women are not allowed although Senior People may occasionally have intellectual or brief social relationships with the occasional qualified kinky woman, but only in private.

Very few men maintained full compliance with all these rules all the time, and some, flatly refused to follow rules they personally objected to. But, to be included one was expected to follow at least most of these rules most of the time. Also, confusingly, there was some variation in some of the rules depending on what city you happened to be in at the time. The list above is not complete although it conveys the sense of the style.

Understandably, a certain stiffness surrounded the men who followed these rules, just as a certain stiffness surrounded the military men of the era. Those who sought inclusion had the challenge of finding a relaxed and easygoing way to follow rules. However, this required considerable social skill and many kinky people lacking those skills (or patience ) simply gave up and accepted a frustrated role on the fringe.

As time passed, there were more and more guys in their twenties whose early sexual development had not been influenced strongly by contact with the military. Therefore, they lacked the early raw material with which to fetish-ize the military features of the '0ld Guard' leather/SM scene. Still, they needed information and experiences to help shape the urges of insistent kinky longings.

These people were essentially without resources until the establishment of kinky organizations brought about new educational opportunities that were not bound by '0ld Guard' rules.

Consequently, there is a lot more support now for new people coming into the leather/ SM scene who have other ideas (non- military) about what is hot. Long hair, rockers with wild designs on their jackets, road racing bikers with brightly colored leathers, leather faeries, skinheads, women and others now are found on turf once dominated by the '0ld Guard' system'.

So, '0ld Early Guard' or perhaps thought of as 'Early Guard" or perhaps 'First Guard' because that style makes sense given the erotic influences that shaped the inner lives of the men who were coming of age sexually at that time. The Old Guard made some real contributions and made some real mistakes, and still does both.

It is more useful to understand than to criticize. And, perhaps most importantly, what the Old Guard did for the development and expansion of kinky life and butch gay male sexuality can best be appreciated against the backdrop of what had existed earlier--not much of anything!

But remember this, as long as we have a military, and a paramilitary police system, and as long as that military has traditions of initiation, ritual, inclusion/exclusion, honor and service, there will always be an '0ld Guard'. Its size and influence in the leather/SM scene will probably always be proportional to the role played by the military and other paramilitary organizations in society-larger following wartime and smaller during peace.

I thought maybe you'd like to know.

[xwestcoastwassyx]

Week #8 DUE - 14 OCT 2020

1) How does high-tech Western culture influence gender and race through the acts of dualism?

      Western culture – American culture – is one of the leading cultures that the world looks up to. Many Third World nations adopt the behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs of ancient and modern Western culture. Unfortunately, Western culture promotes the act of negative stereotypes among sex, gender, and race on both offline and online media sources. In the article A Cyborg Manifesto: Science, Technology, and Socialist-Feminism in the Late Twentieth Century, Donna J. Haraway brings the importance of high-tech culture – in the American nation – and claims that technology influences people of all genders and race to act as cyborgs (1991). In fact, Haraway argues that, with the rise of the technological revolution in modern age, people can now be classified as cyborgs. Haraway states, “In so far as we know ourselves in both formal discourse (for example, biology) and in daily practice (for example, the homework economy in the integrated circuit), we find ourselves to be cyborgs, hybrids, mosaics, chimeras” (1991). The act of “miniaturization” through a portable, hand-held video recorder shows to dominate people – creating a mixture of machine and organism; the birth of the cyborg. Donna is implying that technology has consumed our state of being through the act of dualism in Western traditions – therefore, creating a society of “cyborgs” rather than actual people. As a person who studies socialist-feminisms, Donna J. Haraway argues that she would rather be classified as a cyborg than a woman because cyborgs are labeled – by society – as gender fluid. Women in ancient and modern history continue to face discrimination because of the negative stereotypes of being labeled as “weak”, “delicate”, and/or “vulnerable”. When we have a world who looks towards the Western culture and its views – whether it be political, social, or economic – we have a world who believes that the “white man” is the superior of all beings and all nations. People begin to believe that technology is created to enhance the act of power, dominance, and control in a man’s world – leaving women and minorities to fight for their human rights.

2) How do White women participate in the White Supremacist “Movement” online when it is predominantly ran by power-seeking White men?

      It is widely known that women have constantly been belittled and harassed by men. However, White women do not experience racisms and hate like Black, Hispanic, and Asian women. The White-American race has been broadly known to express their acts of hate and humiliation to the minority race. In the reading Gender, White Supremacy, and the Internet, Daniels explains the ongoing issue of the globally corrupt White Supremacist Movement. People associate White Supremacists as White, male, Americans who practice the acts of hate, discrimination, racism, domination, and power when in all reality White Supremacists exist on a globally growing scale – involving all genders and all races to participate. It is crucial to note that any gender or race can partake in the hateful doings of the White Supremacist Movement. In the gendered form, I will focus on White, American women and their role in the White Supremacist Movement. Technology has allowed for individuals, and groups – such as the White Supremacists – to create social media blogs that allow for people from all over the globe to stay interconnected and practice their beliefs. Although the White Supremacists Movement has been seen as a movement led and controlled by men, White-American women – in particular – also have a major role in this hateful movement. Daniels mentions, “The majority of the women in Blee’s research found their way into organized racism the same way others find their way into movement organizations: by meeting people who were already in those organizations” (2009). This shows that women, like men, got involved in White Supremacist Movements by meeting and connecting with individuals who shared the same views on racism and discrimination against all races other than the White “neutral/raceless” race. In today’s day and age, women involved in the White Supremacist Movement create blogs and web chatrooms via social medias to stay inner linked with other women around the globe to share their racist viewpoints. These blogs and web chatrooms allow for women to freely vocalize their thoughts and opinions without being shut down by men.

3) How is involvement in the White Supremacist Movement during the “print-only era” different from the “online era”?

      As previously mentioned, the White Supremacists Movement has been an ongoing movement for many decades that involves all genders and races around the globe – not just practiced in the United Stated by White men. In fact, it has been around for such a long period of time that it evolved through the “print-only era” to the “online era”. In the reading Gender, White Supremacy, and the Internet, Daniels continues and notes the important role men had in the “print-only era” – where women had little room to grow and vocalize their opinions and views in the White Supremacist Movement. Daniels states, “…white supremacy online might be gendered in ways that are similar to and different from both white supremacy in the print-only era and other sorts of online communication beyond those white supremacist sites” (2009). This proves that, both, men and women had a lead role in the evolving growth of the White Supremacist Movement during the modern, online-era.

      In relation to the previous question, I bring the importance in noting that all genders and all races are involved in the White Supremacist Movement because of the success in the rapid, technological revolution. In the print-only era, White-American men were the face of the movement, while white women were hidden in the background and shut down for their vocalized opinions. However, that did not stop women from participating in the movement during the print-only era. Women had little room to grow and were continued to be seen as a joke. With the rise of the online-era, White Supremacist doings are even more chaotic than every because the internet – social medias – offer a space for all genders and all races to partake in this movement that is organized around hate, power, dominance, colonization, racisms, and sexism. Daniels brings up a great example to show the diversity in the involvement of the White Supremacist Movement online by mentioning the usernames as a way to distinguish between the races and genders (2009). In the example(s), Daniels mentions a male user by the name of DiabloBlanco14 – “White Devil” – to specify his White race. However, this user mentions the fact that he only dates WHITE Hispanic women – women who are not “too Hispanic” and are WHITE by their surrounding culture (2009). This is an excellent example to reference in showing the diversity the online-era has provided for all genders and races. Women have definitely benefited from the online-era because they have a “safe space” where they can vocalize their views and opinions as a part of participating in the racist movement. These blogs are organized from women all over the world – including all races – and allow for women to stay interconnected in every nation that believes in White Nationalism. The print-only era specifically catered to the White man as he was the one who demanded to be heard, leaving white women with little to no room to speak. Therefore, individuals involved in the White Supremacist Movement – regardless or race and gender – benefit more from the online-era because this era allows for individuals to stay interconnected and allows for women to speak their truth among themselves.

4) If male dominance seems to be the leading image in the social world – both online and offline – why do we place feminine voices and characterize technological simulations as “feminine”?

      The cyborg is explicitly known to be a gender fluid artifact, however, in the reading Gender, Technology, and Visual Cyberculture, Kate O’Riordan mentions the fact that technology simulations represent a modern, “womanly” figure through the representation of the feminized voice. Simulations are a growing artifact in the technological revolution and represent the act of “humanized” beings through the creation of avatars with “human-like” bodies and “human-like” voices (O’Riordan, 2006). Technological developers have created these “user friendly” simulation avatars to make others feel comfortable and rely on technology. O’Riordan states, “The obvious goal of such trends is to develop an interface (interface having the property of being between faces) that could be conceived of in the same paradigm as a friend” (2006). This shows that producers of such technological advancements are selling their products as “friendly” and something that a person can rely on. The developers behind this technology enhance the idea of “cyberculture” by merging the ideas of a cyborg and simulations. However, developers sell their simulations – in the “cyberculture” – as friendly female avatars who are dedicated towards assisting the individual. Kate O’Riordan notes, “The friendly female face is thus the future present of the convergence of cybercultural forms such as mobile telephony, computer games, hand-held devices, and the Internet” (2006). Although technology was once seen as a “genderless” asset, it now appears to be merging into a feminized product of human, global culture. In this instance, female avatars are created to navigate through cyberspace into cyberculture to be constructed into the heteronormative paradigm. O’Riordan argues, “This gendering of the interface as young (white) females invokes a familial relationship of fathering” (2006). This proves that feminine-female avatars are developed to fulfil the social constructs that our modern, global societies have created. Females are given the social stereotype of being limited to an attractive caregiver and a vulnerable being – which is why so many men conform to the ideas of these female avatars that are placed on technologies such as video games and the Internet. The female avatar give that familial relationship that men desire and are eager to have. These technological developers continue to use females – and the acts of “femininity” – as bait to sell their technological products.

Daniels, J. (2009). Gender, white supremacy, and the internet. Cyber Racism: White Supremacy Online and the New Attack on Civil Rights (61-86). Rowman & Littlefield. 

Haraway, D. (1991). A cyborg manifesto: Science, technology, and socialist-feminism in the late twentieth century. Simians, Cyborgs, and Women: The Reinvention of Nature (149-181). Routledge. 

O’Riordan, K. (2006). Gender, technology, and visual cyberculture. Critical Cyberculture Studies (243-252). New York University Press.  

[mwilson]

Shy girl - statement

Previous statement

 For this class and second half of summer quarter I want to engage in a performance and dialog with female archetypes on the internet. I have always found the platform of internet a rather hostile black hole, yelling into the void so to speak. It also has been a place where I have discovered a lot of things that have helped me feel less isolated and have brought much inspiration to my life, a great outlet for my maximalist aesthetics. So, I have seen as someone growing up with the internet being around for the birth of Facebook and beginning my internet career on Myspace, that the internet is a place of duality. I haven’t much in my work engaged in a particularly feminist dialogue in my work as to not be pushed into a realm of all my work being an expression of the female but I guess I have still done so but not as overtly. I have also never explicitly created a character for myself during a performance as frankly I found it a bit to campy. I have created a persona based of a mash of a type of alternative female archetype that has found its place on the internet specifically, the E-girl. A popular and at the same time very much mi lined persona mainly a great target of specifically a lot of sexist vitriol from other online born groups.it is also a female persona that is much outside of my expression so I am interested in placing myself in the uncomfortable position in such a blatant misrepresentation of myself as well as having that character engage with some of the worst aspects of online culture and addressing that place and stereotype of woman in it. I am also interested in differences in male and female performance and tropes of expression and discourse found online mainly YouTube and other video formats. My character’s name will be named, shy girl and to further disguise is from myself I will be altering my own voice for speaking parts mush of the performances will be bringing more Avant-Garde concepts of performance to the mainstream such as john cages water performance with audience participation.  Also, I want to produce short work more consistently which is a mode of work I have not done up to this point so I will be putting out longer video content once a week.  

 Add on:

To update my artist statement and to speak to my progress with subjects related to the creation of my alter though I’m not sure how much I want it to be viewed as persona but more of a way to remove myself. This alter , Shy girl,  has so far no set type of format or type of content other than videos at this point and photos and maybe live capture online as I progress with platforms but that will very much change the nature of the performances as they will move from being captured into film , to being performance again the temporality will change as well as the source of control. which will affect the performances greatly but that will be addressed when the time comes, I think live streaming is a huge new question and place for performance art.  Back from that side tracking so far in terms of subject my videos have in initial conceptions been touching on but not limited to, Para social relationships, hostile male communities such as Inscels, the gaze, make up beauty/ identity, Vtubers and anime subculture, the body, multiples and an exercise in thought on distance and new space relationships found in the online environment. There is much more intertwined with in all of the videos I have done up to this point but these are some of the starting points for my video concept drawings and shot lists which I will be posing. The biggest development of this alter has been my creation of not only a 3D model based on my outfit and make up created for my performance in my own body. But now also a 2D model, so at this point I have created this group of performers which has been an interesting way of layering levels of abstraction of the original persona created. My video “shy graces” was the first time we were all together as I have been working with green screen to place myself into my online gallery/performance space, though it has been a passing thought but definite one that being my irrelevance now that I have these digital avatars. Which leads to something I suspected might happen that being my own disenchantment with my body which in a way lead to the next video “skin study’s” based on the work of ana Mendieta “glass on face” and my own push to recess the nude and the body online. This video for the first time bought in anime references as well which I did so for the obvious reason that these alters made online where very influenced my anime culture and manga illustration. As a western fan and a reclusive member of the subculture I have always seen interesting territory for discussion about the role of women in the anime but also in the community, being as if suffers from much of many “nerd subcultures” suffer from, sexualization, fetish, nerd bro culture and so on. But in particular anime’s relationship to the female body and projection of female presenting people is rife with conceptual fodder that I couldn’t begin to pick at this is quite long but has been developing. But one of the biggest draws is anime has been the first to bring this type of idealized body and form they have created into a living space in the form of projected 3D models like that of the Vocaloid characters which were developed as mascots for products along with new figures like project melody on streaming cites as well her move into adult content as a Only fans personality, Adult subscription cite. There has even been the creation of objects of comfort mimicking a body in the form or body pillows, which I used in one of my “music cover” videos integrating my own limbs with this printed body. And the creation of silicon full dolls not always used for the purpose of being a sex toy but as recreation of characters from particular shows that people use for companionship not that there is not a sexual element at play. A lot of this rings true to what I think is happening online these things are rather inseparable as I have moved into looking into the Vtuber community for my models and “copies” which the collective element being that all the programs that I have seen or used all by default use this anime form and all Vtubers use this anime avatar weather that be the 3D models or the 2D models as I created mine from scratch based on my performance persona and examples of popular Vtuber forms. There is this whole new level to literally not only changing your persona online as most do but actually taking on a new form and based on anime which is about the creation of whole other reality’s and which has an element of as a lot of media, escapism. These works as of this past class have been as I have been speaking about very bodily and quite grotesque as is the history often is of female performance art which I had read of and reminded me of such in Vergine body as language which I will link. This writing hit many points in relation to my work and I think is a far better resistor of a lot of what is a part of my content currently. One of originators for these past few videos not only the most recent two skin studies and shy graces was when I published my 3D model on Vorid studios there was a pop up that askes you about the licensing the avatar and it asks who can use it but what most stuck out to me was it asked if the creator would allow sexual content or violent content which became a big influence on the tone of that video. As well the video “shy Graces” which addressed the fact to be able to inhabit my new bodies I needed to pay more money to be able to do something as simple as move the arms of my 3D model as you would need an add on called leap motion.my thoughts and conceptual development may seem rather scattered at the moments but much thought has go into them and as far as the writing about this work it will develop as the work has over time.  

As for more technical aspects and materials, I have been pushing myself as far as the structure of my production of these videos as I want to make them all in accessible places with tools that anyone can access and I am trying to produce content weekly as on YouTube the speed of videos outputted is key to that structure and algorithm. The sets, outfits I have been using are also something that its easily accessed or recreated by anyone I guess I am focused on using almost modern-day working-class materials. As I should have started with saying at the beginning of this re brief this project at this point has not end game as it were I have the content that I am expressing as I want to use this avatar to engage with an audience that is outside of say a space in an art institution as I was inspired much by the work of fellow art student and internet artist molly soda. These alters and accounts have become my new studio work place for me to work on a continuous performance practice which is something I have not yet undertaken and I feel that will push my practice outside of my own comfort zone and open me to a space of pushing myself and very making mistakes and gaining new understanding to developed my practice.

 Definition: Internet art (also known as net art) is a form of digital artwork distributed via the Internet. This form of art has circumvented the traditional dominance of the gallery and museum system, delivering aesthetic experiences via the Internet. In many cases, the viewer is drawn into some kind of interaction with the work of art. Artists working in this manner are sometimes referred to as net artists.

 Net artist may use specific social or cultural internet traditions to produce their art outside of the technical structure of the internet. Internet art is often—but not always—interactive, participatory, and multimedia-based. Internet art can be used to spread a message, either political or social, using human interactions.

 The term Internet art typically does not refer to art that has been simply digitized and uploaded to be viewable over the Internet, such as in an online gallery.[1] Rather, this genre relies intrinsically on the Internet to exist as a whole, taking advantage of such aspects as an interactive interface and connectivity to multiple social and economic cultures and micro-cultures, not only web-based works.