#this man is having a 0/10 time in new york and i love every second of it

[tracksdowna]

to no one's surprise dallas fuckin hates snow </3

[frontproofmedia]

Split Decision: Teofimo Lopez Edges Sandor Martin

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Published: December 11, 2022

Young stars Keyshawn Davis, Jared Anderson, and Xander Zayas remain undefeated. NEW YORK— Junior welterweight contender Teofimo Lopez (18-1, 13 KOs) headlined in the big room at Madison Square Garden for the first time with a hard-earned split decision win over Spanish southpaw Sandor Martin (40-3, 13 KOs) in a 10-round final eliminator for the WBC crown. One judge had the bout 95-94 for Martin, while two others had it 96-93 and 97-92 for Lopez.   The former lightweight king was originally scheduled to fight Jose Pedraza, but a non-COVID-related illness forced the Puerto Rican contender to pull out of the fight. Martin immediately accepted the opportunity on three weeks’ notice.   Lopez initiated the bout in usual fashion by taking the center of the ring and trying to control the action with his speed and power. But at the end of the round, the two accidentally clashed heads, which evidently broke Martin’s nose and bothered him for the rest of the fight.   Martin’s quick footwork also began to cause problems in the opening minutes, especially as he used his lead right hand to lure Lopez in. In the second round, Martin was successful with that strategy and even dropped Lopez with a counter right hook.   Lopez then spent the rest of the fight trying to attack Martin and counter him when he committed to his punches. Martin was successful in preventing Lopez from positioning himself to land combinations, but at times he was also more concerned with evading shots than exchanging with Lopez.   As the fight ended, Lopez appeared to fight with more urgency while Martin seemed to think he had the fight won.   Lopez said, “It’s so hard to fight somebody like this when they’re running the whole time. Every time this guy committed, I countered and got him every time. He just ran the whole time. It’s OK, though. We got a lot to work on. But first off, I want to thank God for this. No matter what it was. I apologize to everybody tonight. This is not how we perform. But, listen, our dancer partner was running the whole time.   “Every time that this man wanted to commit, I was countering him and tagging him. That’s why he was running the whole time. I felt great overall. I knew he was tired. He didn’t want to commit. He was staying on his back foot and just running around the whole time. But it is what it is. This makes it look good. These guys are going to want to fight me now. More than ever. Now this is great. Now I can actually have a good fight.   “We would love to fight Josh Taylor. We would love to fight Regis Prograis. Or even a rematch with George Kambosos. My whole thing now is just staying focused and staying devoted.”   Martin said, “It was a surprise with the judges. I won this fight clearly. For one judge, I only won two rounds? Really? There were two knockdowns. The referee didn’t count one of the knockdowns. He missed all of his punches. That’s a masterclass of boxing. That’s a robbery. But that’s the sport of boxing.   “In the ring, I controlled all the action. The timing. The moments. In the ring, controlled everything with my will. Teofimo was overanxious. In the eighth round, his corner told him, ‘Hey, let’s do it. You could lose this fight.’   “It wasn’t just the broken nose. I only had three weeks of preparation. The broken nose was from an accidental headbutt. But I didn’t worry about this. But I knew that it would hurt every time he punched me there.  But he didn’t punch me. Every time he punched me, I said ‘Ow.’ But he touched me three times? Four times, maximum? Really? You win with this?”   Anderson Destroys Forrest in Two Rounds Heavyweight contender Jared “The Real Big Baby” Anderson (13-0, 13 KOs) retained his 100% knockout ratio by scoring a second-round TKO victory over Jerry Forrest (26-6-2, 20 KOs). Anderson captured the WBO International and WBC Silver USNBC titles with tonight’s dominant victory.    Anderson tried to box calmly, but a few hard left hands from Forrest, a southpaw, forced him to step up the action after the first 30 seconds of the opening round. Anderson then began letting his hands go at full force, nearly stopping Forrest when he had him on the ropes and landing a total of 54 out of 114 punches thrown within the first three minutes of the bout.   In the following round, Anderson continued his dominance and landed a hard right hand that forced the referee to stop the fight at 1:34 of the second round.    Anderson said, “Like my corner said, once I get hit it’s a whole different ballgame. I switch up everything. My mindset. How I fight. Everything. I try to come in cool and calm. I see everybody kind of was expecting him to go out early. I didn’t want that. I did want to get all the way warmed up. But once he did hit me, as ya’ll see, something flipped, and all I saw was red. The 114 punches came and we picked it up.   “I learned to keep my composure even earlier. It shouldn’t have to take me to get hit for me to be able to do that. But everything was alright once I started to adjust myself and get my feet up under me. I have been kind of off for a little second, but I definitely think I came back and made it better.   Zayas Ends the Year in Style against Salazar   Rising junior middleweight prospect Xander Zayas (15-0, 10 KOs) defeated Alexis Salazar (25-5, 10 KOs) via unanimous decision following eight rounds of action. Zayas retained his NABO 154-pound title and captured the NABF belt in the process.   There was no feel out process as Zayas began to land shots in the opening round. Salazar was able to connect in the following rounds, but Zayas was able to make the proper adjustments in order to allow his skills to dominate his opponent. The 20-year-old Puerto Rican prospect was especially successful in landing shots to the body, implementing a relentless attack to his opponents ribs in the final round in order to stop Salazar. Scores: 80-72 and 79-73 2x.   Zayas said, “Thank you to all my Puerto Rican fans who came out and are watching back home. This one is for you guys. Thank you for all the support and the love. I got to go back and see this fight. But they told me that I looked good. There were a couple moments where I let down my defense. But I give myself a nice B+.   “Little by little, we keep improving, keep getting better. But I feel like we can still work a little bit on everything. My distance. My punch output. My defense. My angles. Everything. I feel like we can improve on everything.” Davis Shines in Tough Test against Burgos    Olympic silver medalist Keyshawn Davis (7-0, 5 KOs) passed the toughest test of his career by soundly defeating three-time world title challenger Juan Carlos Burgos (35-7-3, 21 KOs) via eight-round unanimous decision. Davis controlled the fight from beginning to end with his speed, power, and superior skills. Scores: 80-72 3x.   Davis said, “I felt great, man. He’s definitely a tough veteran. I was definitely trying to stop him in there. I had him hurt a lot of times, but he’s a veteran and knows how to survive. That’s what he did tonight.   “I would give myself an A, but I ain’t stop him. So, I give myself a B+. I felt like I was conditioned throughout each and every round. There were rounds where I was picking it up and some rounds where I was slowing it down just to catch him with a big shot. I give myself a B+ tonight.” Light Heavyweights: Irish southpaw Joe Ward (8-1, 4 KOs) scored an eight-round unanimous decision win against Frederic Julan (12-2, 10 KOs). Scores: 78-74 and 79-73 2x. Heavyweights: Undefeated Polish prospect Damian Knyba (10-0, 6 KOs) dominated Emilio Salas (7-4-1, 3 KOs) en route to a TKO win at 1:56 of the second round.   Junior Welterweights: U.S. Olympic standout Tiger Johnson (7-0, 5 KOs) scored a fifth-round technical knockout victory over Mike Ohan Jr. (16-2, 9 KOs). Time of stoppage: 1:29.

(Featured Photo: Mikey Williams/Top Rank via Getty Images)

[oops-aquarius]

NSFW Alphabet: Dacre Montgomery

warnings: pure smut, duh.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

dacre always makes sure you are as comfortable as possible. if he was rough on you, he would rub the red marks on your ass and whisper sweet nothings in your ear as he spooned you. making sure you always fall asleep first.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his favorite body part of himself is his abs. since he used to get bullied for his stomach. it makes him feel more worthy of being loved. it always irked him, the difference between the way people viewed and treated him when he lost the weight. so he likes being treated well by strangers. 

his favorite body part of his partner’s is their boobs. he cant get enough of how they bounce when you ride him. your cleavage never fails to turn him on. he loves to just rest his hands on them when you two are cuddling in bed. 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

he lovessssss cumming inside of you, but only if your on birth control. if you aren’t he loves to cum in your mouth and watch the excess dribble down the corners of your mouth as you swallow his seed.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

dacre once jacked off to your sleeping body, in bed, right next to you. it was the morning after and your beautiful, naked body wasn’t helping his morning wood. but you looked so peaceful, deep in sleep, he didn’t want to wake you. so he just jacked off next to you. you never knew it happened and woke up to him fast asleep, head nuzzled into your shoulder.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

dacre is so fucking attractive and so obviously almost every girl he’s ever met has thrown themselves at him, and before you, he let them. so definitely has a bunch of tricks up his sleeves on how to pleasure you just right

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

DOGGY MOTHERFUCKING STYLE. he just adores fucking oyu from behind and watching your ass jiggle with every thrust. and it gives him easy access to slap your ass when you are bratty :0

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

9 times out of 10 it is serious. most days sex is some sort of stress relief or somehow rooted in jealously. but sometimes, if it’s in a silly spot or dacre is in his mullet, he cant help but make stupid jokes and giggle under his breath.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

i feel like dacre is pretty clean shaven. he doesn't really like any hair down there, he always jokes about how it makes him more agile. in reality, he just thinks it looks better. he also might have a little happy trail, just cuz.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

it’s always some form of intimate. holding hands while you ride him, placing his forehead on yours while he fucks you missionary, etc.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

he only jacks off when he’s gone in australia visiting family or in atlanta filming or in new york for a press tour or any other time either of you happen to be travelling (without one another). he never jacks off to anyone but you. he has a hidden collection in his phone of photos and videos of you he masturbates to. he goes at the same speed your hand is fucking yourself in the video and he always tries to cum at the same time as you do in the video.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

orgasm control/denial. this also plays into his huge ass daddy kink. he likes to see you writhe on his cock as you beg him to let you cum. 

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

dacre’s favorite place to fuck is you is on the balcony, overlooking your pool and nice backyard of the house you bought with him. he likes the thrill of a neighbor possibly seeing you two in action.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

lingerie turns him on to the max. he loves you watch your breasts bounce in a pretty, lacy bra as he is fucking you with your pretty panties pushed to the side.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

he would NEVER do anything he wasn't 100% sure you were okay with. he always made sure you were as comfortable as possible in any given situation.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

he loves both, but he is always down to be on the receiving end. he just loves to have your mouth around his hard cock. you do this thing with your tongue and every time, billy feels like he’s ascending into heaven. he swears every time that he blacks out for second because of pleasure. but he also needs to have his lips sucking on your clit. 

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

it’s usually rough and fast. loving the feeling of his cock pounding in and out of you, while you scream his name.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

meh. doesn't mind the occasional quickie, but he prefers proper sex in his own space.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

like i said, he doesn't love the public setting, but he’ll fuck you all around the house. he loves to experiment with new kinks or positions.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

he can last 2-10 rounds. it all depends on the situation.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

he owns it all: dildos, ropes, vibrators, cock-rings, etc. but he swears they’re all for his partner, but he definitely vibes his thick cock when he’s alone. he loves to stick a dildo in your ass while he fucks you. or he leaves you tied up with a vibrator pressed hard against you clit as he gets himself off at the sight.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

dacre is an unfair cunt. he loves to tease and edge you. he loves when you squirm from all the teasing he’s doing.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

he isn't super loud if he’s dom, only letting out grunts and the occasional whimper. when he’s in a sub space? he doesn't care who hears him, he moans and whimpers and grunts and screams and makes so many damn noises. either way he’s always praising/degrading you. “you feel so fucking good princess.” or “you gonna cum on daddy’s cock? good girl.” or “god, you’re such a needy cumslut.” 

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

P E G G I N G  K I N K. he lovesssss to be dominated and call you his mistress and serve you. ofc he’s too much of a baby to admit it to you.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

9 and a half inches...he big big

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

with you? it never stops. this man is horny for you 25/8.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he always waits for you to fall asleep. there have been a few slip-ups, on paticularly rough nights, where he falls asleep almost instantly. and you cant help but giggle because of how adorable your baby is. 

[munstysmind]

WHAT ARE WE? - Maddison - An Original Story

WARNING/S: Mentions of Travis

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE USED IN ANY CAPACITY

Divider by @firefly-graphics

MAIN MASTERLIST

MADDISON MASTERLIST

please let me know if you would like to be added to a tag list

{OCTOBER 2013}

Thirteen days. That’s how many days passed from the time Maddie found out about Chris’ visit to the day he arrived, she’s counted it down like a kid counting down to Christmas. So had he. He isn’t ashamed to admit he’d set a daily reminder on his phone telling him how many days he had left until he came to New York.

Although they're both somewhat used to doing long distance it's the part they find the hardest, being separated for a week or more at a time. If they could spend every spare second they had together they would but they're in a different country from each other most of the time.

Right now though, the scheduling gods are shining on them. They have a whole week, minus the two days Chris is working, of uninterrupted time together. No FaceTime calls at night or messaging throughout the day, they're together, in the little bubble they've created for themselves.

They're currently relaxing on the couch, Maddie using Chris' lap as a pillow while they watch TV. She's introducing him to one of her all time favourite films, the Australian classic 'The Castle'. She knows it word for word, having seen it hundreds of times over the years. She'd stopped paying attention to it about 10 minutes ago, watching his reaction instead.

"A man, he come to my house and say 'stop with the court business', if no stop he have friend come and beat me and I say you have friend, I have friend. My friend come to your house and put bomb under your car and blow you to fucking sky!" Farouk says on the TV, causing Chris to let out a loud laugh. He's enjoying it way more than she thought he would.

"Scott is going to love this" he tells her, not taking his eyes of the movie as he starts to absentmindedly play with her hair. She closes her eyes when he starts to massage her scalp, remembering how she liked it that morning at Comic Con.

She's never had this before. With Travis everything was an uphill battle. The littlest thing like taking hold of his hand when they were in public caused a fight. He was pure chaos. Chris is the opposite, he’s calm. Everything falls into place with him. Everything feels right.

She can't pinpoint why but when she's with him... she's content, in a way she's never experienced before.

She looks up at him, biting her bottom lip as she reaches up and starts running her fingers through his beard. She can't help herself. She's only ever seen him clean shaven because of Captain America. This new look really suits him, really suits him.

"What are you doing?" he smirks. She hasn't said anything but it's obvious to him that she likes the facial hair. She's probably too nervous to say anything about it. She's nervous about a lot when it comes to him and their relationship.

"Sorry" she says quietly, quickly pulling her hand away thinking she's annoying him. She's not good at reading body language anymore, it's something she's having to relearn.

Travis would say one thing but his body language would constantly contradict the words coming out of his mouth. She doesn't trust her own judgement as a result. Chris gently takes her hand and puts it back on his beard.

"It feels nice" he tells her, giving her a soft smile before returning his attention back to the TV. She lets out a quiet hum as she continues to play with his beard, enjoying the feeling of the rough hair against her fingertips.

After a few minutes he turns his head slightly and places a gentle kiss her palm. The small sign of affection from him has her feeling very unsure all of a sudden

"What are we?" she says before she can stop herself, sharply inhaling as she braces for his reaction.

"What do you mean?" he asks, frowning slightly in confusion.

"What are we?" she repeats quietly as she sits up before looking down and fiddling with her nails as her stomach starts to form knots. He gently takes her chin between his thumb and pointer finger and lifts her head to look at him. He sees the look of uncertainty on her face and instantly realises what she's asking.

From the outside looking in Maddie appears extremely needy and if you look at it in a certain way, yeah she is needy. It makes him angry. Not at her, at Travis. He's the reason she's like this. He chipped away at her for two years and as a result she needs so much reassurance.

Reassurance that he's not upset with her, that's she's doing the 'right' thing, that he liked the way she cooked his hamburger last night.

Reassurance that she's ok, that she's safe, that she won't be hurt again.

As she's gotten more comfortable with Chris, and feelings have started to develop, her need for his reassurance has gone down. She still needs a lot of reassurance but he's noticed it's nowhere near as much as when they first started dating.

"Well, I've been seeing this amazing woman since July and I'm hoping she wants to keep it up" he says, smiling when he sees her face light up.

"Really?" she asks, almost as if she doesn't believe what he just said

"Yeah. Maddie I love where this is going, where we're going. I've never been big on labels but..."

"Is Captain America saying he wants me to be his girlfriend?"

"Well, I guess that depends on the answer"

"Hmmmm, I don't know"

"Maddie!" he says, pretending to be shocked at her words. He loves it when she's like this, confident. He wishes he could see her like it more but he know it's going to take time. It's yet another one of the things Travis took from her that she's slowly finding again.

"YES, of course it's yes you dag" she smiles, completely missing the slight frown on his face at the unfamiliar word as she climbs onto his lap, her knees resting either side of his hips as she sits back on his thighs.

"Hi" she says quietly, her fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. It's something he's noticed she does a lot, especially when she seems nervous or unsure about something.

"Hi" he replies with a small laugh as he tucks some hair that's fallen in her face behind her ear before running his hands down her arms and resting them on the top of her thighs.

She leans in and brushes her nose against his, something he started doing months ago as a non-verbal way of asking for consent before kissing her. It's something they both do now, a little thing that's just for them.

He tilts his head up and presses his lips to hers. She lets out a quiet moan as runs her hands up his chest to the back of his head, her fingers spreading through his hair, holding him close as their kiss deepens.

When they finally break for air she takes his lower lip between her teeth, pulling gently and letting it go. He looks at her for a few seconds before taking her face and pulling her back into him, their lips reconnecting. He shifts a little, trying to subtly move him crotch away from her.

Things had started to get heated between them the night before but she had frozen up and panicked after she felt him. He doesn't want to make her uncomfortable or feel like she has to do anything more than what they're already doing.

Too wrapped up in what they're doing to notice his subtle attempt to make her more comfortable, she moves closer to him, pressing her whole body against his as she starts kissing along his jaw and working her way down his neck as he tilts his head to give her more room.

He lets out a quiet groan when her teeth sink into his neck and feels her tense up in his lap. He knows whatever caused her to panic last night is starting to scare her again. He gives her hips a gentle squeeze, hoping to pull her from her thoughts. He lets out a silent sigh of relief when he feels her relax back into him, kissing the skin that was just between her teeth.

He wishes that he knew what was causing her anxiety so he could help, but he's pretty sure when she does let him in and he finds out the reason, he's not going to like it.

"I really like the beard" she says quietly, hooking her arms under his as she snuggles into him more, nuzzling her forehead onto the side of his neck.

"I know" he tells her as he wraps his arms around her and places a kiss on her temple, making her hum. He will never get tired of this, cuddling with her. Maddie actively seeks it out every opportunity she has. He knows it's because it helps her feel safe, she mumbled about it in her sleep a few nights ago.

He hasn't said anything to her about it, he knows she'll say something in her own time. He rests his head against hers and continues to watch the movie while she falls asleep on his lap.

TAGLIST

@aussieez

@littleone65

@jholdencook

@rookiemartin

[lukesperfectharmonyhair]

im rewatching jatp instead of studying for the 3 tests i have tomorrow and i thought i would share my thoughts and reactions with each episode so enjoy!!....

wake up

- hearing the “1, 2, 3″ at the start of the episode gives me more serotonin than my antidepressants ever will

- julie’s slippers...that’s it...that’s the thought

- that dry ass pasta the molina’s are eating for dinner??? someone needs to give my man ray some cooking tips or a cookbook... something

-the looks the boys give julie when she says it was an OLD cd she found. as if they could be old??

-the entire julie and luke kitchen scene i mean there are no words to describe how much i am in love with scene. the banter, the flirting, luke giving this girl he literally just met an actual PIECE OF HIS SOUL so she can get music back into her life. not a single time have i watched that scene and not felt my heart literally grow cause of how cute they are. 

-the entire scene when julie is singing wake up. that scene is what made me literally CRAVE watching the other episodes. like of course i was going to watch them cause i wasn’t gonna just stop watching a show after one episode, and yes the show was good already but seeing the lighting and her voice, and just everything about the scene,,,,*chef’s kiss* 

bright

-flynn drinking seven sodas....SEVEN??? i would be throwing up if i drank more than like 2 and she drank seven,,,no ma’am.

- flynn and her trumpet. talented queen

- “ i wouldn’t have given you the song if i didnt think you were gonna rock it.” lmaooo im crying:)

- i start tearing up every time julie goes to play the first notes of bright,,, and then i’m full on bawling when the guys come in and play with her cause...they weren’t playing to be seen they were playing to be there for her and play to comfort her. pls i love them<3

- nick vibing in the front row

- the tech guy deserves so much more praise

flying solo

- reggie’s little butt shake or whatever you wanna call it!!

- julie’s little laugh when she yells at the guys to stop it

- “and we’re on the runway again” GENUINELY one of my favorite lines of the whole show pls i love luke’s humor

-this is the first time i noticed this but reggie’s face after alex says “DONT TELL ME HOW TO GHOST!”

-WILLIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU<3333333

-the slow mo helmet take off,,,,me too alex me too

-willie’s little giggles:))))

- “oh-oh!”

- “no clue” alex i love you baby<3

- next season better give us a scene of flynn throwing eggs at someone’s house because i think it’s safe to say we were robbed of that experience. 

- the flying solo performance is just amazing

i got the music

- just the whole opening scene is so cute ....the dancing, singing, happiness RADIATING from julie 

-nick in an all white suit and fedora

-WILLEX MUSEUM DATE YEAH BABYYYYY

- carefree skateboarder bf and anxiety ridden drummer bf

- yelling. in. museums. 

-alex thinking he’s literally dying again because of the salt... zero braincells in this band.

- another scene we were robbed of that i need to see in season 2...reggie singing “home is where my horse is” while alex and julie sit patiently and attentively listen to him but luke looks like he’s about to commit murder

- i get SO MUCH second hand embarrassment for julie when she looks through luke’s songbook and says “ wow luke I didn’t know you were such a romantic” julie baby i love you but...eekkkkk

- “he looks like a substitute teacher”- where did he come up with that like so many other things he could be compared to but a substitute teacher??

- “luke introduced you to rock” heck yeah it did.. literal soulmates

- would like to see a picture of the raccoon in Flynn’s backyard

- wee woo wee woo police sirens://///

- julie’s outfit ughhhh i love it

- the poster that im pretty sure says “sexiest role” behind caleb... why was that necessary 

the other side of hollywood

- THE ENTIRE PERFORMANCE OF THE OTHER SIDE OF HOLLYWOOD 

- i lose my absolute shit over this song omg literal chills

- the cape grab i cannot physically do this rn

- willie being so excited the entire performance and looking over to see alex’s reaction

- reggie being in awe everytime one of the girls performing does something.. me too reggie

-”well i wouldn't really call it mAAgiCcCC bUT”

- nick and his fedora again

- alex has a crush, alex has a crush on.....WILLIE

-the boys eating food for the first time in 25 years is honestly so realistic

-alex shoving a whole slice of pizza in his mouth

- lukes ‘OH MY GODDDDD’

- reggie kissing his meatball sub that looks painfully dry but also delicious 

- the continuation of the other side of hollywood performance and everyone dancing

-reggie imitating caleb’s evil laugh and owen trying so hard not to break

-me getting mad at the boys for not showing up for julie and being sad with her but at the same time i’m obviously not mad at the boys just...disappointed?? idk 

finally free

- how did julie get to the school if she missed the first three classes?? wasn’t she still at flynn’s house from the night before cause she slept over so did she walk to school or was she just sitting in flynn’s house by herself and one of flynn’s parents was like you gonna go to school or???

-dance class with nicky poo<3

-reggie fixing his amp in the rain

-julie’s blue dress outfit in this episode is my ABSOLUTE favorite 

- the birthday candle scene makes me sob like a little baby,,,and rightfully so

- julie smart, smart to be taking calculus as what a sophomore??

- all eyes on me yes queen iconic

- alex dancing is how i dance in my brain whenever the song comes on 

- finally free as a song is NEVER given enough credit and why not?? it’s my favorite song they do as a band AND the madison’s vocals and the echoing part omg i loveeeee

- and the whole performance with luke’s heart eyes. i count this performance as the moment luke like fell in love with julie...like full on just blown away with how much awe and admiration he has for her in that moment and all the time.

 - julie and luke singing “and you’re a part of me” while staring directly into each others soul,,,yeah that’s love kids

edge of great

- carlos being the ghost hunter he is and tía being done with him

- luke’s pouting face 

- reggie and ray making breakfast together is so wholesome. reggie really loves and seeks comfort in ray and i love that

- luke just waiting next to julie’s locker and his little “hey”

- the first time i watch this scene i thought charlie was from new york cause of the way he says “ i can't do this without you” and then i watched the cast interviews and just realized he is somewhat joey tribbiani 

- jealous luke hehehehehhehehe

- “well dont you look shARrP”- yes he does luke thank you very much

- “uh oh i think someone has a crush on julie” yeah you do you little shit,,, now admit it to her

- the proud look on luke’s face when he realizes julie is still paying attention to HIM even though she’s supposed to be having a full on conversation with nick

- the shoulder push ( as someone who has had their own shoulder pushed in the middle of a high school hallway as a weird way of flirting,,,,i can definitely somewhat attest to how luke is feeling in that moment and i too continued to flirt with the person who shoulder shoved me while we were still standing in the hallway)

- the flow from whatever the hell dance nick and julie are doing and the perfect harmony dance is so special to me and i love it

-ADOANCLOBNAOVBCOAB THE HAIR PLSSSSS

- EVERYTIME THE SCENE COMES ON AND I SEE HIM WALKING THROUGH THE MIRROR I HAVE TO PAUSE THE SHOW FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES WHILE I DIE LAUGHING BECAUSE THE HAIR IS SO BAD EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE USED TO HOW IT LOOKS AFTER WATCHING THIS SHOW LITERALLY 30 TIMES

- i think people see my username and assume i like his hair in this scene but...ummm fun little fact i do not like it

- the dance is so good though ugh my babies

- the hair

- madison is gorgeous 

- another season 2 scene i need: julie teaching this dance to luke and they perform it in front of alex and reggie so they can see luke roll on the floor like that

-the hair

- the lift i loveeee

- the voices at the end of the song *chef’s kiss*

- the way julie spins out from luke and into nick omg so good

- “thAnKs pArTnER”

- luke denying his feelings for julie,,,babe pls

- the whole edge of great performance is so good and beautiful and the colors are SPECTACULAR 

-julie avoiding luke’s gaze lolz

- can't believe my mans really tried to deny he didn’t have feelings for julie like 5 hours earlier even though he’s getting upset because she hasn’t looked at him in 2 minutes

- THE. GUITAR. RIFF. SOLO.

- when i finally learn how to play the electric guitar well enough to learn the guitar solo... it’s over for everyone

-nick just came to watch the girl he likes perform not watch her flirt with a hologram plssss can we give this man a break next season.

- “we have to say goodbye to julie”- that’s literally more important to luke than not playing music anymore because julie is music to him now

unsaid emily

-already crying and the episode hasn't even started

-willex in the orpheum

- alex literally being OVER reggie

- nope too emotionally unstable to watch this scene right now

- my therapist will be hearing about this tomorrow

- show us the baby picture of luke cowards

- this is such a beautiful song that makes me cry every fucking time gosh damn it

- everytime i watch the flashback scene of luke on his bike i think of “christmas song” by phoebe bridges and i cry even more

- i tried to learn how to play this song on my electric guitar (because i dont have an acoustic guitar) and i ended up crying half way through so i do not think i will be playing it anytime soon:/

- the harmonies *chef’s kiss*

- THE POLICE LIGHTS ....i cry

- FAT tears rolling down my face

- there's literally not a moment i don’t cry during this episode

- interesting little relationship :0

- when i played percussion in 7th grade i used to lay down on the couch in the practice room at school ( which god knows what people did on that couch...ew) and stick my drumsticks up my nose too,,,, just another similarity between alex and i 

stand tall

- willie really drove a bus 200 miles into the desert for his crush

- WILLEX HUG 

- i love willie no last name so much,,,i just wanna hold and protect him

- alex’s ballerina dance

-julie’s overall outfit i love<3

- “im swimming”

- the way carlos hangs up the iPad on tía makes me CRACK UP he’s just lmao bye girl

- another julie outfit i love

- “anything julie. you know that.” AHHHHHAASIDSJFPACISN love bitches

- the suits

- luke’s hair in this episode is so much better than the perfect harmony hair pls

- YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOSE

- the way luke looks so restricted and confined in his suit... but at the same time he looks like a 10 week old puppy

-luke’s AGGRESSIVE but small foot tapping leading up to being on the stage

- the solos:)))))

- crying again over julie’s monologue to her mom

- julie really was brave enough to be ready to perform by herself

-the way Trevor looks at carrie when she says “been here before”

-ALEXXXXXX

-REGGIEEEEE

-luuukkKKKEEEEEEE

- this performance makes me cry

- especially the first time when i saw luke flickering...sobs

- he finally looks free in his suit:))

- alex’s solo is so pretty i love him

- reggie’s solo too 

- nick just straight up vibing the entire performance

- alex and luke holding hands...hehehe cute besties

- “thank you, guys” NO THANK YOU 

- the way julie begs for them to do something about the jolts for HER cause she knows luke would never say no to her

- “no music is worth making, julie, if we’re not making it with you,” I JUST SCREAMED AND IM PRETTY SURE I WOKE UP MY ENTIRE HOUSEHOLD...whoops

- going back to that line i could say so much about it but....for someone who’s life was literally MUSIC for the 17 years he was alive, and after finding out he could play music again even though he was dead and saying it made him feel alive, he would give that up- he would give up playing his guitar, playing in a band with his friends, give up writing and singing music- if he wasn’t doing that with julie. that’s more than saying i love you,,,that’s literally like saying i’d give up my ENTIRE LIFE and what i love to do if i dont get to do it with you

- i just made myself cry with that description...wow

-the hug<3

-also imagine how luke felt in that moment,,, hearing this girl, once again that he would give his life up for, saying in his ear that she loves them. i would motherfucking glow too, luke

- *passionately but gently holds each others faces*

-HANDS OFF MY BABY NICK, CALEB

- caleb’s outfit is....something

- the head turn plssss

this was so long and i am so sorry but if you read this far.....leave some of your own reactions or thoughts:)))

k goodnight im gonna, ugh, finally go study ://

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Ouroboros (S2, E8)

The hiatus almost killed me. So glad we have new content <3

As usual, my time-stamped thoughts for this episode are below. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:04 - That scarf is so extra.

0:26 - OH LOOK THE FIRST SUNSHINE SIGHTING OF SEASON TWO!!! It only took 8 episodes. *insert eyeroll*

0:40 - Ugh. This montage makes me hate Hoxley. He embodies the type of human I abhor: self-important, egotistic, obsessed with appearance.

1:19 - “No I didn’t.” LMAO. Mr. David is so done with Martin’s bullshit.

1:36 - That makeshift shiv in the dude’s arm.....that’s Daryl’s shiv from a few episodes ago right? Am I going crazy?

 2:25 - Sooooo Birdie hasn’t left New York? She’s moved into the Milton’s “Murrayville Building”. Huh. Wait. Was Birdie in the house when Malcolm and Ainsley fought? Do you think she heard?!? Birdie might become a problem for the Whitly’s later this season....I hope?

2:43 - Jessica doesn’t know about the contents of the fight. Interesting. How long has it been since the end of 2x7? 

2:58 - “I’ll be there at 8.” hahaha OMG. I swear Malcolm was a terror during his ‘rebellious teenager’ phase.

3:38 - Yep. This fog horn reinforces the fact that I believe Hoxley is a dick. 

3:40 - Awww.... the way Malcolm jumps/flinches at the fog horn is both hilarious and adorable.

3:58 - “And who the hell are you?” YES GIL. YES. Don’t let him talk like that to Malcolm <3

4:04 - Duuuuude. Gil looks pissed and scared. He does not like Europol snooping around his crimes. ALSO I’m like 95% sure that Gil knows (or at least has a hunch) that Malcolm is somehow involved with Endicott’s murder. I’m pretty sure Gil is scared that this dude is going to try and arrest Malcolm. 

4:07 - OMG. JT is adorable. “You’re that guy. The mind sleuth.” Personal headcanon: JT read Hoxley’s book to try and understand Malcolm better. 

4:22 - DANI IS MY QUEEN. SHE IS MY ICON. I LOVE HER SO FREAKING MUCH. “No.” This girl is fierce. <3

4:23 - <3 <3 Malcolm’s heart eyes, head tilt, and visible pride is so so so precious. THIS is why he’s attracted to Dani. She’s not afraid to assert herself. 

4:31 - “And then took in his son.” ....Okay, so this infuriated me. Nothing Hoxley is saying is untrue. BUT something about the way he’s saying it just gets under my skin. 

4:45 - I think Hoxley is pissing me off so much because he’s psychoanalyzing Malcolm in front three of the people Malcolm trusts and loves most in the world (3 out of a very very short list of people). He’s trying to humiliate Malcolm and I hate it. I hate that Dani, JT, and Gil haven’t told Hoxley to shut up. I hate that Hoxley is trying to drive stakes of doubt into the three people whose opinion Malcolm treasures. 

5:25 - “Aim a little lower, Whitly.” and and and.....then Hoxley looks to the team as though he wants them to laugh. I’m furious. 

5:32 - THANK YOU GIL. STEER THE CONVERSATION AWAY FROM MALCOLM

6:04 - Malcolm is so obvious. There’s no way that the team doesn’t know that he was involved with Endicott’s murder. If they didn’t before this episode - they HAVE to know now. Right? They’re detectives. Malcolm is a terrible liar. 

7:00 - Oh. So now Ainsley cares about the crime. Now it’s “how much trouble are we in”. And let’s be real. Ainsley doesn’t even seem very worried or scared. She’s concerned that the crime will get out - she’s not sorry she committed the crime. She’s not sorry that her big brother tried to take the fall for her. 

7:15 - “We said no more secrets.” ...when. When did you two say that? Was there a ‘fight part 2 - the tentative truce’ that we didn’t get to see?

7:33 - A mention of Sophie Sanders. Finally. I still hope she comes out of the woodwork and takes the fall for this. I want more closure on her. Did the team ever find out that Malcolm found her? How did the Eddie murder finally get resolved (I’m not satisfied with the “not every case gets solved” line)?

7:42 - Yo. I don’t care about the time constraint of a 45 minute episode. I don’t care that it was required to move the plot along. The fact that Ainsley starts typing frantically into the computer at about 7:42, stops typing at 7:47ish and has found at least 4 different articles relating to murdered random people (who apparently helped hide Endicott’s body?) is SO UNREALISTIC. I just can’t. I can’t suspend my disbelief on this one. The article headlines say nothing about ‘couriers’. It’s stuff like ‘Local fisherman found dead’. HOW THE HELL WOULD AINSLEY KNOW THEY WERE HELPING MALCOLM IN LESS THAN 10 SECONDS OF GOOGLING?!? Nope. I can’t justify this one. Fedak - you dropped the ball.

8:40 - Poor Malcolm looks terrified. :( 

9:04 - My first impression of Natalie was that she’s a beautiful young lady who seems really sweet and a little socially awkward. Kudos to the actress.

9:41 - Another mention of Sophie. God - I hope she becomes a twist in this season’s storyline. I’m not content with how her story arc ended. 

10:21 - “I didn’t have anything to do with Endicott’s death and neither did Jessica.” Yep. Gil definitely knows (or at least suspects) that Ainsley and Malcolm are somehow involved with Endicott’s murder. It’s killing me that we’re not getting the big “team and/or Gil find out and/or confront Malcolm about it” moment. 

10:31 - OMG. Alan Cumming’s eyebrow wag here. hahahahaha

10:35 - Look at how pissed off Gil is as soon as Hoxley suggests that he and Jessica have a romantic history. 1) Gil still has it bad for Jessica (and is hurt that she rejected him again 2) Gil’s a pretty private dude and probably doesn’t like his personal business being speculated upon by a total stranger with ill intent 3) Gil is also getting protective of the Whitly’s. Not just Jessica but Malcolm (and maybe Ainsley) too. 

10:58 - Europol agents aren’t allowed to make arrests?!? THEN WTF IS THE POINT OF HOXLEY’S CHARACTER?!? TO DRIVE DOUBT INTO THE MINDS OF THE TEAM WITH REGARDS TO MALCOLM?!? FOR REAL. WHY?! TO FORCE GIL TO ARREST MALCOLM AND AINSLEY?!?!

11:08 - “To watch you put the cuffs on Mr.Endicott’s killer. Deal?” “Deal.” oooooooohhhhhh no. I do not like the foreshadowing here. If Gil has to arrest Ainsley and/or Malcolm.....idek. Part of me wants to watch it for the emotional whump (of all parties - including Jessica). Part of me wants to ugly cry at the thought of it though.

11:39 - “How do you know so much about yachts?” ....THANK YOU JT. DANI HAS A STRANGE AMOUNT OF NAVAL KNOWLEDGE IN THIS EPISODE AND WE ALL KNOW “I watch a lot of Below Deck” IS UTTER HORSE CRAP. Ugh. I want to know more about Dani and JT’s personal lives. So. Badly. 

11:44 - <3 <3 <3 The look Malcolm and JT exchange when Dani claims that she watches a lot of Below Deck is absolutely precious. It’s like they’re best friends and/or brothers. They both knew Dani was lying. <3

11:54 - “At least he’s the real deal.” Ouch. I honestly can’t tell if JT is just teasing Malcolm here or if JT genuinely believes this. ....Is this JT’s way to letting Malcolm know that he has suspicions about his involvement with Endicott’s death?

12:06 - “Says the guy who bought his book.” HA. Dani is on fire this episode. The snark queen. Look at how pleased Malcolm is that Dani is defending him. <3 Warms my cold dead heart.

12:09 - annnnndd now JT is definitely teasing Malcolm. “What our boy Bright needs is a moniker.” hahaha watching Dani and JT come up with stupid profiler monikers was so cute. I love it when the team gangs up to (lovingly) tease Malcolm.

12:30 - “No. Nothing yet.” Again - Malcolm is a terrible liar. The team must know that he’s involved with this thing. They’re detectives. 

12:59 - Martin’s physical reaction to Malcolm saying, “No. That woman does not deserve to die.” Is HILARIOUS. Martin is so freaking desperate for Malcolm to become a serial killer that he doesn’t even care the Ainsley has already murdered someone. 

13:19 - “He has a perfect track record.”.....what? So does that mean he’s solved every case he’s ever worked on? Taken credit for solving every case he’s ever work on? Hand picked the cases he works on so he knows he can solve them? Probably a combination of the above. Sometime about Hoxley reminds me of Gilderoy Lockhart from Harry Potter. You feel me?

13:23 - The fact that Tom Payne (a Brit) is being told that Hoxley has “perfect teeth. For a Brit” by a Welsh man is hilarious.

13:34 - Does this fish packing joint have no security?!? Like Malcolm didn’t have to pick a lock or anything. He just walked right in (and he’s not being quiet).

13:51 - “I can think ruthless. I don’t know if I can be ruthless.” THIS. THIS is Malcolm in a nutshell. Think about Nicky Covington. Malcolm wanted to act ruthless but he couldn’t. He ended up saving Nicky because he couldn’t go through with his ruthless plan. That’s the difference between Malcolm and (quite frankly) the rest of his family. Jessica, Martin, and Ainsley can all be ruthless. All of them. Jessica on a lesser degree but Martin and Ainsley are confidently ruthless. Often.

13:57 - Ok. For real though. HOW HAS NO ONE OVERHEARD THESE PHONE CALLS BETWEEN MARTIN AND MALCOLM. THE PHONES HAVE TO BE TAPPED RIGHT?!? IN A SECURE MENTAL INSTITUTION FOR MURDERERS?!? and I stg that Mr. David knows things. That man is not a moron and he’s pieced stuff together (not from this scene obviously, but still).

14:13. - “Why don’t I break out.” The fact that Malcolm hasn’t mentioned that Martin wants to escape to anyone (since 2x4) is really stressing me out. I know Martin’s going to break out - the promos have made that very obvious but I’m still anxious about it. Mostly I’m worried for the health and safety of Malcolm (and Gil, Jessica, Dani, JT, Edrisa...).

14:17 - “We all go on the run together.” Martin is delusional. He thinks that the whole family will go on the run with him?!?!?  He might be able to convince Ainsley. He might be able to blackmail or threaten Malcolm. BUT Jessica? She’s not going willingly. Hell - she might kill him herself if Martin escapes and tries to come near her (which.....I would actually kind of like to see).

14:48 - The fact that Malcolm apologizes to a corps is so precious. Really reinforces the fact that Malcolm is not a killer. 

15:00 - Oh look. Another scene for Malcolm’s nightmares. “The time I cut off a dead guy’s thumb to protect my sister”

15:24 - annnndd Malcolm is really close to having a panic attack. Look at that face. :( Someone give this guy a hug. Please.

15:34 - Where the HELL is Edrisa!?!?!?

15:42 - Malcolm, you utter moron. What possessed your stupid ass to show up at a crime scene with a soaking wet arm and draw attention to your arm by shaking it?!?! WHEN THE BODY WAS JUST DRAGGED OUT OF A VAT OF WATER. AND YOU TAMPERED WITH THE BODY?!!? YOU DUMBASS. 

15:52 - This is Gil - terrified. He’s scared because 1) he knows Malcolm is lying , 2) he’s concerned for Malcolm’s mental health and 3) he’s starting to think that either a) Malcolm killed this guy, b) Malcolm knows who killed this guy and is obstructing justice, or c) Hoxley is going to pin this on Malcolm and Gil won’t be able to save him.

16:14 - “I’m never buying frozen fish again.” hahaha Dani is killing it this episode. <3

16:23 - Check out how Gil is staring at Malcolm. Gil totally thinks Malcolm has the thumb.

16:50 - “Older model” Shit. Seriously? Are finger print scanners on phones old?!? My phone isn’t that old......I got it 6 years ago? 

17:16 - MALCOLM IS A TERRIBLE LIAR. Honestly, the pure terror on his face throughout most of this episode screams “I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT THE MURDER.” If the team hasn’t pieced this together yet they’re not worthy of being detectives.

17:29 - I’m not going to lie. I had to fast forward through the Martin/Capshaw scenes for the rewatch. I find them so upsetting to watch. I just can’t do it more than once. Their whole dynamic is gross, creepy, and just ugh. 

20:00 - Jessica and Hoxley talking about Endicott’s death is so satisfying. 

20:35 - “Jessica Whitly. Played for a fool. Yet. Again.” Ok Hoxley. You are not allowed to disrespect my girl Jessica like that. 

21:10 - The biggest problem with Jessica and Gil’s “mock interrogations” by Hoxley is that neither of them mention Ainsley or Malcolm. It’s super suspicious. They mention other people by name. People who should be connected to Ainsley and/or Malcolm given the context of the sentence. Hoxley is a moron for not nailing Ainsley and Malcolm for the crime during this episode. It’s so so so obvious.

21:19 - hahahahahahahaha Jessica grabbing the martini out of Hoxley’s hands. hahahahaha I stan.

21:35 - annnnnd Jessica is a terrible liar as well. Seriously - why doesn’t she just say “ENDICOTT WAS KILLED OVER HERE!!”. Another parallel between her and Malcolm though. Malcolm + Jessica can’t lie well. Ainsley + Martin are expert liars.

22:54 - Again. Ainsley is intrigued at the fact that Malcolm has a thumb in his freezer. Much like Martin would be if he knew. Jessica on the other hand shares Malcolm’s fear and disgust about the situation.

23:00- “We”?!!?!? AINSLEY YOU HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING. MALCOLM HAS BEEN COVERING FOR YOUR ASS. YOU JUST HAVEN’T TURNED YOURSELF IN AFTER YOU REMEMBERED. THAT’S YOUR ONLY CONTRIBUTION TO THE “KEEPING ENDICOTT’S MURDER A SECRET” SITUATION. 

23:07 - “Do you even see what you are doing to him.” This line both terrified and delighted me. On one hand - I’m grateful that Jessica can see how much emotional pain Malcolm is in because of this situation. One the other hand - Ainsley looks pissed that Jessica is blaming her for Malcolm’s general brokenness. If Ainsley goes full serial killer - Malcolm is going to be on her list. “The brother that overshadowed her.” “The favourite child” “The reason she had to be a perfect daughter” “The reason she was ignored”

23:32 - “Got it.” Damn. Ainsley is bitter. She wants to control this situation. She doesn’t like taking orders from Malcolm. 

25:00 - MR.DAVID IS RIGHT THERE. IF HE DOESN’T BLOW THE WHISTLE ON THIS I’M GOING TO BE SO DISAPPOINTED. 

25:12 -”The Brain Fart” hahahahaha OMG. 

25:53 - “You’re being rude Hoxley.” ......Martin being the nice guy? I’m genuinely disgusted.

26:26 - “Your son Malcolm.” THIS. THIS is why Ainsley is so pissed off. Everyone has always thought Malcolm would turn out like Martin. Ever since they were kids. She’s pissed off that no one considers her to be a threat. They’re all concerned for and scared of Malcolm. Not her. She’s invisible. Why do you think she became a TV reporter? To force people to see her. 

26:50 - I’ve never wanted to Martin to kill anyone more than I have in this moment. I do find Martin’s protective love for Malcolm interesting though. 

27:37 - How long was that phone in water before Malcolm grabbed it?!? Anyone ever drop a phone in water? I don’t care how much rice you have. It’s toast 90% of the time. 

27:44 - Malcolm explaining murder to Sunshine is so cute. 

28:22 - And my heart rate has skyrocketed. 

29:10 - “To protect your sister.” Huh. I find it interesting that Hoxley has considered that Malcolm may have killed Endicott to protect Ainsley. It suggests that he thinks Endicott was a threat to Ainsley alive. Makes me wonder about what happened to Ainsley before Malcolm got back to the house in 1x20.

29:16 - “You all had something to gain.” Did they though? Martin had something to gain - keeping his cushy Claremont cell. Ainsley had something to gain - “A news story.” Jessica had something to gain - “safety”. But Malcolm? He didn’t personally have anything to gain. He wanted his Mom and sister safe but he never thought about himself. 

30:11 - “Perhaps the murder weapon is still among your mother’s silver.” I find it interesting Hoxley has pieced that together. I also find it highly unbelievable but that’s just me. 

30:15 - Hoxely, rich people don’t carve their own Christmas roasts. The Whitly’s have staff for that. 

30:24 - “You’re still just a scared little boy. Hungry for daddy’s love.” Ouch. It’s true but it still hurts. This is not helping Malcolm’s mental state. At all. Istg if we don’t get a Malcolm mental health crisis soon I’m going to have my own mental health crisis. Seriously. I want to see this boy lose it. I’m a monster. I know. I want ugly crying. I want panic attacks. I want him to go catatonic. I want someone to comfort him. 

32:35 - Nat’s a good liar. Very convincing. Too bad Malcolm’s a good profiler. 

33:53 - Check out Spider Monkey Malcolm. <3 

34:14 - Earlier this episode when Malcolm said he can think ruthless but not be ruthless? This is the proof. He could’ve sat back and let Natalie kill Hoxley. In some ways - it would be good for Malcolm. But Malcolm’s not ruthless. He values human life. He’s an A+ dude. For better or for worse he tries to help people.

34:26 - Really Hoxley? Do you plan on stabbing Malcolm?!? (FYI - this scene is very reminiscent of Lockhart pulling his wand on Harry and Ron in the Chamber of Secrets #justsaying).

34:45 - “I’m going to be killed by a millennial. What a twist.” hahahhahahahahhaa

35:22 - “I’m British.” hahaha I love this scene so much.

37:14 - FINALLY THE PAPA!GIL CONTENT WE”VE BEEN WAITING FOR. (it’s weak but I’ll take it)

37:39 - AHHHH the fact that Gil and Malcolm are both non-verbally communicating that Natalie didn’t kill Endicott is killing me. Does Malcolm think that Gil hates him? Does Gil really think Malcolm killed Endicott? Or just that Malcolm covered it up? I NEED TO KNOW.

37:46 - Concerned!Gil and a hand on Malcolm’s shoulder. <3 <3 <3 My icy heart has melted. 

37:54 - annnnnd Hoxley ruins the moment.

39:39 - I’m not content with this ending. It’s all too convenient. Hoxley still thinks Ainsley and Malcolm did it. Mark my words. This isn’t over.

39:53 - Ainsley is so smug here. I want to slap her. She’s elated that she’s getting away with murder. She doesn’t care about how it’s hurting her family. 

40:00 - Did they really do the interview inside Jessica’s house?!?! Gross. 

40:17- I might be the only one but I love that polo on Malcolm. Something about it is adorable. 

40:22 - ......is Ainsley really trying to take credit for “putting this Endicott mess behind us”?!?! Because - she didn’t. OMG. She absolutely didn’t. Even if she did - she’s the reason they’re in the mess to being with!!!!!!! I can’t. I just....can’t. 

40:45 - The episode ends right here for me. I know Capshaw and Martin kiss. It makes me want to hurl and I refuse to watch it again. I also know that Capshaw takes the scissors away from Martin. I think their whole dynamic is upsetting and creepy. I’m like 95% sure that Capshaw is a serial killer on the DL. Or at least some sort of psychopath. Martin and Capshaw are both manipulating each other and it’s too stressful to watch. 

I didn’t love this episode. It was a bit all over the place. If you stuck around this long - thank you. I’ll see you guys next week. <3

[gas-station-trackphone]

Fic Recs/Mandatory Reading for Reddie fans

Here is an incomplete list of some of my favorite Reddie fics on ao3, because i cannot get over the sheer talent of this fandom’s wonderful writers! A lot of these are the Greatest Hits that you’ll find on almost every fic list, but that’s why I consider them mandatory reading. like if you haven’t read some of these, what are you doing?

the years go by like days by georgiestauffenberg, rated M

the 27 years in between, but better because richie and eddie stay together. every time i think of this fic, i think of that lady gaga meme where she’s like “brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, etc” and maybe it’s bc this is one of the first reddie fics i ever read, but this one is always gonna be my favorite

broken record by spunknbite, rated E

the mother of all time loop fics. every reddie veteran gets chills at the phrase “the house on Neibolt was still standing”

literally everything by stitchy

like seriously just clear a few days bc you’re not gonna want to stop reading this author once you start. no other author has made me literally fucking cackle in one paragraph and sob in the next like this one, pls do yourself a favor and devour all their works like i did 

the night we met (take me back) by camerasparring, rated E

ch2 fix-it where eddie shows up at richie’s door alive and with no memory. great slow burn with a wonderfully conflicted richie, 10/10

let’s hear it for my baby! series by cloudings, rated E

OOOOOOOHHH boy! a modern teen!reddie grindr AU that’s both steamy AND sweet?? more like a fucking blessing amen hallelujah

a heart that laughter has made sweet by marjaani, rated E

another lovely teen!reddie fic that’s got it all! sweet, stupid boys, humor, a teeny bit of angst, and some 5-alarm fire smut with some top eddie, as a treat

keep talking. i’ll keep walking toward the sound of your voice. by theappleppielifestyle, rated T

angst with a happy ending is my favorite, and this one is just fantastic. so sweet, so sad! and stan is featured as eddie’s afterlife buddy and idk about y’all but i cannot get enough of stanley uris in my reddie fics. read this, then read all this author’s reddie fics, they’re all amazing

collateral by loosecannon, sheepknitssweater, rated E

a post-ch2 fic that i guess could be classified as fix-it, BUT with some very interesting twists. they beat the clown, everyone lives, but no one really gets the tropey happy ending. the WIP sequel is also incredible and i live for the updates.

the greater fool  series by mischiefmanager, mostly rated T with some E

this is a series i’ll reread a lot bc it’s so fucking good. follows young reddie into early adulthood, mostly a bunch of cute shit where they figure out themselves and their relationship. also contains the single best teen reddie fic in existence, he came in through the window, but reading the whole series is a must

brokeback derry and everything else by Amuly, rated E

27 years in between, richie and eddie reconnect in their 20s and meet back up in derry twice a year to remember and love each other before going back to their lives and forgetting. so much pain. there’s a lot of sweet stuff in there, but you can see shit’s gonna get complicated from miles away and the anticipation almost gave me stomach ulcers (in a good way). ultimate angst with a happy ending.

let me name the stars for you by playedwright, rated M

speaking of angst with a happy ending...Martian AU!!!!! this one fucked me up in the best way, i literally called my roommate at 2am to vent to her about my emotions after reading it. i go back and reread chapter 8 just to be overwhelmed by it, and it makes me cry every time. plus, there are awesome sequels/companion pieces in the series! read this, i beg you!

walk through fire for you by hyruling, rated T

unwind after all that angst with some cute, drunk, confused eddie being very upset when he finds out richie is engaged. richie only teases him a little before pointing out the matching ring on eddie’s finger. 

in the heat of the summer (you're so different from the rest) by kaboomslang, rated E

post-ch2 slow burn with tags that really say it all, including but not limited to: eddie moves to california and richie is a mess, Eddie Kaspbrak’s Hot Girl Summer, and cute middle aged man dates

pivotal moments by danfanciesphil, polypocket, rated E

high school reddie has a sort of fwb thing goin on, but emotions get in the way. featuring wonderful bevchie friendship, hella miscommunication, cute double dates, high eddie, and a happy ending

like a bullet in the back by jerry_duty, rated M

adult idiots in love! a personal favorite trope of mine! slow burn with a fair helping of angst but a really great ending. richie stays with eddie in new york while he’s there on business, and it takes these losers SO LONG to figure it out but the way they dance around it is very cute

no sense of living without aim [WIP] by liesmyth, rated E

richie and eddie meet on grindr in the 27 years between and hey, whadda ya know, they fall in love! i really love this fic but i’m pretty sure it’s been abandoned. i’ve had it open on my phone browser for like 3 months with no update but i still check it regularly bc i’m pathetic and this fic is just so good i’m DYING to know what happens next so read at ur own risk

a strange sense of familiarity [WIP] by Katranga, rated E

another “they meet and fall in love without remembering” fic, and even though it’s not complete yet, it gets regular updates. oh, also, i’m obsessed with it. they’re long distance fuck buddies who can’t admit they’re in love, and then they get hit with the childhood memories! and everyone lives! what’s not to love!  also PLEASE read kisses take like mint and every other reddie work by this author, they are all fantastic

adult friends by sudowoodo, rated T

AU where adult reddie meet at a first aid seminar for work (immediately fall in love), become friends, become best friends, and finally get to be happy. has some super repressed eddie and intensely pining richie, which is always fun, and genuinely made me laugh out loud. also please check out this author’s other reddie fics, there’s some super sweet kid reddie in there that really warms the heart

the mind's a funny fruit by joldiego, rated T

eddie wakes up barely alive in derry, has 0 memory, calls himself richie, and moves in with some lesbians. an absolute must read that ought to be on every reddie fic rec compilation. i read this a long time ago and just thinking about it makes me want to read it again.

now what i'm gonna say may sound indelicate [WIP] by IfItHollers, rated E

it took me entirely too long to find this fic since i joined the fandom, and it’s truly a fucking masterpiece. it’s almost at 200k now and still unfinished, and the slow burn is excruciating, but this is a legendary fic for a reason. eddie spends the first chunk of this fic in the hospital recovering from the massive chest wound, and then he and richie move the recovery to ben’s cabin in the woods. the author’s notes for each chapter are a story in themselves

signs of a new lifetime by swordfishtrombones, rated T

one of the sweetest, most romantic reddie fics i’ve ever read. a fresh take on a classic concept: post-ch2, they’re in love, they haven’t said/done anything about it yet, BUT!!! it’s not angsty! they are all cute and giggly like “you say it first!” “no, you say it first!” and it makes me fucking MELT

broadcasting tower by swordfishtrombones, rated E

back-to-back recs from the same author! bc i love these fics so much! sort of similar to the last one in that they both know what’s up and just haven’t said it, but this one’s got the angst! i didn’t know when i read it that it was the same author as the other fic, and i thought how funny, i found another reddie author that perfectly captures this pair in such a wonderfully romantic way! i also just noticed there’s a follow up to this so now i have to go read that immediately

eurydice; the original comeback kid by Vulcanodon, rated M

for the love of god please read this and the other work in this series. it’s a ch-2 fix-it with some intense action sequences and major pining, and it has haunted me since i first read it

love on the telephone by tempestbreak, rated E

okay this one is really just 30k of pure smut but it’s also so sweet and features a mini sexual awakening for eddie and some insecure richie with an emphasis on how much they love and trust each other. also it doesn’t hurt that the smut is fire, like does anyone else want that twink obliterated, or is it just me?

the boy who loves you by candlejill, rated E

eddie lives, richie confesses, things are chill and then they’re not. richie’s career flourishes, which is always nice to read and is what ultimately catalyzes eddie’s gay awakening and realization of his love for richie. it’s got some sad angsty parts and a very sweet ending, and it up there as one of my favorite reddie fics of all time

richie and eddie break up [WIP] by skeilig, rated M

a refreshing and realistic take on life ch-2 for the losers, because being in love at thirteen doesn’t mean you can fall into a perfect relationship at 40. i’ll admit, i’m hoping this will ultimately be a “richie and eddie get back together” fic, but it’s still a very good read (and often very funny in the second chapter) at the moment in the midst of their break up

september 1989 and everything else by pineapplecrushface, rated T

cute kid reddie figuring it out and making me smile. the follow up to this and the after derry series by this author are also personal favorites

go west by ssstrychnine, rated T

road trip fic! an absolute work of art slow burn with teen reddie in the 90s. it’s so beautifully written i just wish i could go back and read it for the first time again

the edification of eddie kaspbrak by tozier, rated M

character study with some incredible fucking prose, my lord it gorgeous. explores how eddie learns about love as he grows up, and it’s super fucking sad sometimes bc the poor boy doesn’t know how to have the things he wants and i just want to give him a hug, but it’s really a spectacular fic

circular motion by sinchronicity, rated M

soulmate!AU that follows book canon and even though it’s been a long time since i’ve read it and the details are fuzzy, i remember absolutely loving it and thinking it was incredible

tell me you know by RichiesToesHurt, rated E

college losers with some severely pining and jealous richie with a lovely ending 

predicament bondage [WIP] by dgalerab, rated E

i resisted reading this fic for so long, recently broke and binged all of it, and now i’m like frothing at the mouth for updates. richie’s a closeted actor/comedian who meets eddie, a professional Dom, when he needs help researching a role. they become friends, they develop crushes, richie realizes he’s a sub, and it’s just so much fun to read

there’s a lot more fics to rec so i might add on to this in the future, but in the meantime my biggest tip for for reading fanfiction that took me embarrassingly long to figure out: focus on the authors! if you read something you like, check out the rest of the work by that author bc odds are you’ll like that too. i mentioned it in a few specific works above, but check out the authors catalogues for these fics. if i included every work by these authors that i loved, this list would be miles long

feel free to add on any great stuff i missed, there’s sure to be tons of it!

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 16: The Job

Here are my time-stamped thoughts as usual.

WRITTEN THE MORNING OF April 20, 2020. EPISODE 19 HAD NOT YET BEEN RELEASED!!!!

SPOILERS AHEAD

0:10 - How much time has passed since the end of last episode? A week? A month? 

0:15 - You can see Mr. David sitting outside the door here. I can’t tell if he’s looking into the cell. BUT if everyone thinks that Jessica stabbed Martin - why is she allowed into his cell right now?!? 

0:17 - Malcolm looks so dead inside right now. Dang. This boy does not want to be visiting Martin. Jessica looks angry with Martin and done with his antics - as usual. 

0:50 - Martin is so proud that Malcolm stabbed him. This is peak dysfunction. 

1:20 - Ugh. Can’t Malcolm catch a break? Martin is manipulating him again.....wait. Did Martin orchestrate his own stabbing just to see Malcolm more often?!? That’s seriously messed up.

1:23 - ....This means that Malcolm had regular visits with Martin when he was a kid. Was it scheduled like some sort of twisted custody agreement? Like every Wednesday afternoon? 

2:15 - Why did Jessica and Malcolm go back to Malcolm’s loft instead of Jessica’s house? Is Malcolm’s loft closer? Does the house hold too many memories of Martin? 

2:30 - Malcolm looks so scared here. He knows that Martin controls him now. He knows that he’s doing a version of jail-time for his crimes. He’s scared of what his mother is planning. He’s scared that Martin won’t make a statement. 

2:48 - Anyone else’s heart break as you watched Malcolm realize that he can’t think of a single happy thing in his life? Mine did. It looks like Jessica’s did too. 

3:00 - Why is Jessica still riding the Eve/Malcolm train? Eve told Jessica that Malcolm is a good person “deep down” - hella insulting if you ask me. And they tried to date - it lasted one night. They clearly aren’t meant for each other. Their relationship didn’t last 48 hours!!! 

3:05 - Did Malcolm date as a teenager? Was Jessica this meddlesome in his love life then too? 

3:17 - OMG. Every child has had this experience with their parent. For me - it was/is every time my grandmother (who lives on another continent) called us. All she talks about is food. I love her but I don’t want a 3 hour conversation about the sales in the grocery store. 

 3:25 - Is Malcolm even still into Eve? It doesn’t seem like it. I think he just wants to make his Mom happy and make it up to Eve in general. I don’t think he’s in a good mental state to date anyone right now tbh. Even though I ship Brightwell. 

3:41 - OMG. Jessica looks like she’s watching her favourite reality TV show. I’m cringing. 

4:31 - I love watching Gil make a joke a Malcolm’s expense. It’s kind of adorable - looks how happy Gil looks. Watching JT laugh at it is great too. HOWEVER, I’ve only seen Malcolm wear one (1) watch. A regular looking watch with a brown leather band. I’m no watch connoisseur but it didn’t look like one of those super fancy expensive ones? So I assume Gil is just making a joke about Malcolm’s general wealth? 

5:28 - I don’t think Edrisa is making Malcolm uncomfortable on purpose. I think she’s just super socially awkward. She starts backing off as soon as she notices Malcolm’s discomfort. JT’s comment though - hahaha I love him. Give JT more screen time. 

5:43 - OMG. Gil, JT, and Dani look so confused and annoyed here. Vijay certainly makes an entrance. Not in a good way. I immediately hate him for being a pompous jerk. 

5:50 - Malcolm doesn’t look all that excited to see Vijay. Shocked and confused? Definitely. He even looks a little embarrassed. He looks back at the team as though he doesn’t want them to see Vijay. 

6:00 - Vijay is an overgrown bully. He is way too physical with Malcolm, who doesn’t seem to enjoy much physical contact. He doesn’t even like it when Edrisa (a completely harmless, socially awkward friend) stands too close to him. That first slap on Malcolm’s shoulder looked violent - not like friends greeting each other. AND he deliberately calls Malcolm “Whitly” after Malcolm asked him not to. 

6:04 - Awww look at how proud Malcolm is to be working with Major Crimes!!! My heart is so full. 

6:25 - Malcolm looks super uncomfortable when Vijay wipes his finger gun on him. 

6:30- Dani and JT look intrigued and confused that Malcolm knows this dude. They also look annoyed that Vijay is manhandling Malcolm and clearly trying to trick Malcolm into thinking that he and Vijay are friends. AND GIL. Oh dude. Gil has definitely heard stories about Vijay. This man does not like Vijay. Gil does not like Vijay touching Malcolm either.

6:40 - OK. A couple of things: 1) Dani showing up behind Malcolm like his guard dog is adorable. This is the friend Malcolm deserves. 2) Dani’s face when Vijay tries to flirt with her is a mood. This woman is hating Vijay more with every passing second. 

7:00 - “Aww. You were bad Dad kids” hahaha brb crying. 

7:01 - Seriously though, this is a cool moment. You can see that Malcolm isn’t sure how he feels about Vijay. Dani sees it too....ALSO can we get some more info about this boarding school? Was it in New York? Was it only for high school? Did Malcolm come home on weekends? How did Malcolm’s nightmares work in the dorms?! I HAVE QUESTIONS. 

7:17 - And here comes Papa Gil. Calling Malcolm loudly by his preferred name. As a subtle reminder to Malcolm that they’re working AND a subtle shot at Vijay the douchebag.

7:40 - I’ll say it. When the killer lifts up his visor it looks like Vijay. I spent most of this episode convinced that Vijay was the killer.

8:44 - Ugh. When Vijay (or anyone really) winks I just want to deck them. It’s so freaking gross. I hate him more and more with every passing moment. 

8:46 - hahaha this interaction between Gil and Malcolm is everything. Malcolm looks embarrassed, ashamed, and a little scared. Gil just looks concerned that Malcolm is falling for this dude’s act again. 

9:05 - hahaha guessing JT’s name is my favourite running gag on this show. Dani knows it - look at her face. AND Malcolm he just looks so happy to have a game to play with JT. JT even looks happy about it. It’s so cute. Malcolm is acting like the annoying little brother he is. 

9:20 - Inserting yourself into a murder is a RED FLAG that usually indicates the perpetrator right? ....why are we not investigating this douche?

9:30 - Dani and JT do not like Vijay. OMG. They’re both throwing sarcastic insults Vijay’s way. I assume it’s partially because Vijay is acting like a pompous jerk and trying to do their jobs for them. It’s probably also because they heard him be a dick to Malcolm at the crime scene. Dude wasn’t quiet. 

10:30 - “Please stop.” I honestly think Malcolm only said that because Gil was watching from the doorway (like the protective dad he is). Something tells me that Malcolm’s self-worth is so low that he would’ve just let Vijay keep talking until it was safe to leave if Gil wasn’t there.

11:05 - Again. Mr. David isn’t looking into the room. Why?

11:18 - Why does Martin know about Vijay? For some reason it upsets me to think that Malcolm and Martin talked about anything other than murder. 

12:07 - FINALLY. The epiphany of a lifetime. Malcolm has finally realized that his trust issues stem from his father. Ugh. It only took 20 years of therapy and the reappearance of Vijay. 

12:25 - I hate that Martin refuses to acknowledge that he caused Malcolm any pain. Every parent makes mistakes because no human being is perfect. Good parents sometimes cause their children emotional pain unintentionally but they at least acknowledge it. More proof that Martin is scum. 

12:51 - A couple of things. 1) I am so proud of Malcolm. Did you see the way he threw Gil in his dad’s face?!? Gold. Genius. 10/10. A+. BUT 2) The look on Martin’s face in reaction to Gil’s name (and Malcolm’s obvious respect and love for Gil) terrifies me. I’m so scared that Martin is going to find a way to injure/kill Gil. I’m terrified that he’s going to make Malcolm watch. 

13:55 - So...we’re all just going to pretend that this is medically possible? Ok. ALSO why is no one concerned about Dani?!?! All the victims have been pretty, young women with dark, curly hair. THAT IS DANI. Why has no one said anything?!? This episode would’ve been so much better if she was kidnapped and the team had to save her. 

14:30 - Gil throwing shade at Vijay. <3 Also - look at the way Gil looks at Malcolm when he leaves the room. It’s a look that says “Don’t do anything stupid. I don’t trust this guy.”

14:40 - Vijay called Malcolm “Whitly” again. I’m so mad. I will scream. 

15:40 - Vijay is a bad influence on Malcolm. I don’t like this. Malcolm is blackmailing a surgeon and making calls to his father for advice on blackmail. No no. Get Gil back in here - he’s a good influence. 

17:00 - ....why does Malcolm know the stats on facial blindness off the top of his head? 

18:15 - Gil and Malcolm don’t trust Vijay. Look at those faces. 

19:04 - Look at how hard Malcolm is trying to mask his pain here. Ugh. My heart is breaking. 

19:15 - Is Vijay really trying to blame this on Malcolm? Vijay is totally manipulating Malcolm. Malcolm is being super honest and aware of his short-comings and Vijay is using him. I hate it. 

20:20 - Aww.. Malcolm can’t cook (of course he can’t - boy barely eats). Why is this information still exciting to me? AND Malcolm with rolled up sleeves is attractive. Look at those forearms. ALSO he’s wearing a black watch now. This makes sense though because last we saw of his brown watch was in 1x10. When Watkins had him chained up the watch was gone. I assume it was destroyed in 1x11. This is the new watch? I assume? My headcannon is still that Malcolm doesn’t have more than 2 watches. 

20:35 - I feel really bad for Malcolm here. He’s trying so hard to make things right with Eve. He looks so nervous. 

20:47 - Soooo Eve isn’t looking for an apology? She’s looking to “talk about his problems”. Yo. Even if I didn’t like Eve before - I wouldn’t like her now. I’m getting the “I can fix him” vibe from her. Those relationships are never healthy. 

21:45 - I hate Eve but I will admit: I love that she told Malcolm it wasn’t his fault. That he was just a kid. People don’t tell him that enough. Plus, look at how anxious and sad he is when he tells Eve about the gitb. Ugh. My heart is shattering. 

22:30 - Does Gil ever go home? Why is he still at the office? ....also the man has his phone enabled to track Malcolm?!? hahahaha that is perfect. How much do you want to bet that that started after Watkins?

23:20 - Malcolm’s hair is a mess again. It’s time for manic, reckless Malcolm to appear. 

23:40 - Malcolm is angry at Vijay. Check out that shade he’s throwing. I’m so happy.

24:50 - Is Vijay paying for the watches out of pocket? Or is his company paying? Either way - not a fan. 

26:26 - Jessica is a vicious woman. I love her. “I should call Gil.” BUT now I’m even more scared that Martin will try to hurt Gil. 

28:45 - Do you know how I know that Malcolm is a good person? Vijay is a jerk to Malcolm. Malcolm doesn’t like Vijay. Yet, Malcolm saves Vijay. 

30:02 - I love this outburst of Malcolm’s. I see in hindsight how it was a coded message. However, I think it was also just a straight shot at Vijay. Malcolm’s smart enough to do both at once. I like Malcolm standing up for himself. It’s sweet. 

35:15 - I hate this. I hate that Malcolm’s subconscious tries to convince him that he’s a serial killer.  Yes - Malcolm is capable of manipulation. However - he does need friends and he isn’t a killer. Ugh. I feel so bad for Malcolm. Someone give this boy a hug. 

38:35 - Malcolm is high on adrenaline and mania right now. He has a concussion. He’s not thinking straight....but it is nice to see him so happy. Too bad it’s like watching someone you love fall into the wrong crowd though. 

39:10 - Was Vijay under arrest? He should be. Gil should do it on principle. Because Vijay almost got our favourite profiler killed. 

39:50 - I’m sorry. Doesn’t everyone know about Jessica’s search for the gitb?!? SHE BROADCASTED IT ON LIVE TV. She just didn’t call her the gitb. 

40:51 - WTF. WTF. No. No. I don’t like Eve. This was such a messed up, stupid thing to do. I don’t even feel bad for her. I just hate her for playing the Whitlys. 

Thanks for hanging out.

[starker-stories]

An Accord (WIS), Chapter 1

I’ll be re-creating my individual chapter posts for An Accord over here on the blog that replaces starkerstories. Until I hit the current chapter, I’ll be posting daily. They’ll have links to both tumblr and AO3 chapter links. I’m sorry if that bothers people who’ve seen this all before in the tag. I’m content to leave all my other fic as AO3 only, but this is my current favorite child, so I’m spoiling it rotten.

This fic is on a weekly update schedule. Hopefully every Friday. More chapters may appear sooner if the writing is going well. Because I have 0 self-control.

For those of you awaiting chapter 10... Have a nice little re-read while the author recovers from losing all his blogs and a short hospital stay. I’m fine now. I’m back to writing. Me and thestarkerisobvious are getting the next book of Messages ready to go for Sunday Feb 23rd. Then it’s back to working on Accord Ch10 for me.

Tumblr Chapter Links: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5, ch6, ch7, ch8, ch9, ch10, ch11, ch12, ch13 AO3 Chapter Links: ch1, ch2, ch3, ch4, ch5, ch6, ch7, ch8, ch9, ch10, ch11, ch12, ch13

Because this is for the MCU Kink Bingo, my usual posting format is different for this first chapter.

Title: An Accord Link: AO3 Square Filled: Clothed Sex (begins in ch6) Ship: WinterIronSpider Rating: E Major Tags: Underage Word Count: full fic will be approx. 35k Created for: @mcukinkbingo​​ Fic Summary:  “That’s the thing about forgiveness, Sergeant Barnes,” Peter said, putting a light kiss on Tony’s temple. “It’s given, not earned.”

Additional Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, Polyamory Negotiations, Polyamory, Cheating, Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Domestic Nightmare Tony Stark, Reconciliation, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, WinterIronSpider, Happy Ending, Clothed Sex, Domesticity, Peter Parker is legal age in the state of New York, College Student Peter Parker, Takes place about 2 years after Civil War. Closeted Character

Summary:  “You got a spare room up there, Stark? There isn’t room for me, Steve, and his self-righteousness in his bed.”  ——————————————————————————————

Chapter 1:  A Pretty Piece of Tail

“Let FRIDAY answer it,” Peter said muzzily, curling up tighter into Tony’s side. But Tony’s side wasn’t there anymore.

Tony was already half out of the bed. “That’s the penthouse buzzer, babe.”

“I know what it is. Come back to bed.”

“Yeah?” Tony said loudly as he pulled on his dressing gown. “Who is it?” FRIDAY relayed his voice down through the intercom.

“You got a spare room up there, Stark? There isn’t room for me, Steve, and his self-righteousness in his bed.”

“Barnes‽” Tony’s eyes went wide. He tried to stifle a giggle and failed.

“Stark?” Bucky sounded unsure, given the sound he just heard.

“Yeah, yeah. It’s me. Let him up, Fri.”

“No,” Peter said, stumbling out of the bedroom, his sleep pants only half pulled on straight, one hip bone jutting prominently out of the waistband. “No late night Avengers, Tony. I am not pretending to sleep in the guest room again.”

Tony caught Peter around the waist and settled him into his lap on the sofa. “I promised you that would never happen again. It’s not an Avenger, it’s Barnes.”

“What‽” Peter nearly jumped off of Tony’s lap, but Tony held him there.

“Let’s hear him out. This sounds good.”

The elevator disgorged Barnes with his standard Army issue (circa 1945, courtesy of the surplus store, circa 2018) duffel slung over his shoulder. He took in the scene on the sofa and shrugged, dropping his pack.

“So?” Tony asked. “It had to be pretty good to think you’d be more welcome here than there.”

Bucky flung himself into a chair that was at an angle to the sofa. “Might as well try here. Can’t get any colder than over there.”

“I thought you and Captain Rogers were…” Peter started.

“Were.”

“What the hell happened? He damn near killed me in your defense,” Tony said, a little more bitterly than he’d intended.

“Yeah, well, sorry. Information was kinda light on the ground back then and I’d only been me for a little while.”

“Wakanda get rid of the other guy?” Tony asked skeptically.

Bucky nodded. “I wouldn’t have left otherwise. I won’t put anyone in danger,” he said quietly.

“But you and Cap…” Peter tried to ask again.

“Found out that the ‘end of the line’ is the dotted line on which I signed the Accords yesterday afternoon.”

“Where is he, are they, were you, whatever,” Tony said with an eyeroll.

“Not here,” Bucky said. “If you taking me in is reliant on me telling you where they are…”

“Sit your ass back down,” Tony said. “I honestly couldn’t give a fuck where they are. I just want to make sure they’re not anywhere around here thinking about starting shit up again.”

“Sorry,” Bucky said again. “That was all my fault.”

“Yeah, no. You’re a pretty piece of tail…”

Peter leaned back and looked at Tony’s face with shock at both the assessment and the term.

Tony ignored him, well, almost ignored him. A little smirk might’ve crept out. “…and I can see why Steve chased you down, but Steve refused to sign before he knew where you were.”

“The ‘tail’ isn’t pretty enough apparently,” Bucky said. “I thought the reason you guys fell out was over me.”

“Nope. You’re the reason I won’t take him back into the fold.” Tony shrugged. “That’s not it, either. You…” Tony breathed in slowly, deeply, and his eyes closed a moment. Peter’s hand slipped around his shoulder and rubbed small circles at the base of his neck. After a moment, Tony opened his eyes. “You weren’t you. Cap? He has no excuse for lying to me.” He ran his hand over Peter’s thigh, soothing himself with the soft fabric and the solidness of the boy he loved underneath it. “You get to walk through that door and be heard. He doesn’t.”

“Thank you,” Bucky said. “I don’t deserve it.”

“That’s the thing about forgiveness, Sergeant Barnes,” Peter said, putting a light kiss on Tony’s temple. “It’s given, not earned.”

“Listen to the teenager who thinks he’s wiser than the old men in the room,” Tony said, smiling, teasing.

“Yes, listen to the teenager in the room who knows he’s wiser than the old men in the room. God!” Peter rolled his eyes.

Bucky chuckled. “He looks like you when he does that.”

“I do not!”

Tony laughed. “Yes you do. I told you you did. Now we have outside confirmation! So there!”

Peter ducked his head. “You don’t disapprove?”

“Of you and Stark?” Bucky asked. Peter nodded. “First, it’s not my life. I don’t get to approve or disapprove. Second, I’d be a fuckin’ hypocrite if I said anything about a kid getting his first experiences with someone older,” he added with a knowing wink.

“Oh my god! It’s not like that!” Peter said.

“It’s not? Oh. Sorry.” Bucky shrugged. “It was for me and Mrs. Goldstein in 23A. Lasted about three months until she said I was getting ‘clingy’.” He grinned. “Long enough for me to learn what I needed to. But she wasn’t quite as old as he is. And she still had her looks.”

Peter looked worried that Tony might take offense. He seemed to be considering it. But then he laughed. “Oh god, I bet Rogers loves your sense of humor.”

“A long, long time ago he did. Lost that fondness even before he went into the ice,” Bucky said, a little sadly.

“More wisdom from the teenager?” Peter offered. “Like I tell Tony. Going back never works. Only forward.”

“You gave me something to go forward to, baby,” Tony said, squeezing his arm around Peter’s waist. “But the kid’s right. Even if he hadn’t been there, it would’ve been nothing but bad news if I’d chased after Pepper yet again.” He sighed. “Letting go is hard, when someone’s become a habit.”

Bucky nodded. “It’s… I didn’t think it would be the same. It wasn’t even the same when it was. But… he’s,” Bucky sighed, “changed.”

“Look, it’s late. I don’t know where you came in from, but it’s late here and if you’re jetlagged, you need to get on East Coast time.” Tony kissed Peter on the cheek. “Let me get Barnes settled and I’ll be in in a few.”

“Okay Tony.” Peter turned to Bucky. “I’m glad you’re not upset about us.”

“No problem kid.”

“Ugh, another one to call me that,” Peter muttered as he padded off to Tony’s bedroom.

~~~~~

“Thanks for the room, Stark,” Bucky said when Tony showed him to the largest of the guest rooms.

“You’re going to be sharing a roof with me, it’s Tony.”

“Bucky,” he said, reaching out to shake Tony’s hand.

Tony took it. “You grandfathers with your odd rituals,” he laughed.

“Go fuck your child bride, Tony. I’m tired.” Bucky said grinning as he shut the door.

~~~~~

“Who would’ve thought?” Peter asked when Tony slid back under the covers with him.

“That Rogers would be unlivable with?” Tony raised his hand.

“Yeah, but Cap tore everything apart for him!”

“That’s a nice love story, babe, but Rogers tore everything apart for himself. Every single thing he did since…” Tony shook his head and gave a half-shrug. “Ever, has been for no one but himself.” He scoffed. “And he calls me a walking ego. Who’s stuck around to hold together Fury’s boy band with string and bailing wire while Rogers fucks off to god only knows where?” He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. It’s too late to fight the aftermath of Cap’s latest disaster. C’mere.” He smiled at Peter and held his arms wide.

~~~~~

“Dear god, pretty, you cook!” Tony said, stumbling out of the bedroom in nothing but boxers, scrubbing at his face. “Don’t touch the coffee!”

Tony ran to close the distance and grabbed the bag of beans out of Bucky’s hand. He ground them and started a pot of drip brewing. That was for Peter. Who no matter how hard Tony tried, was still a philistine when it came to coffee. Then he dug the good stuff out of the cabinet and started making his espresso. “Good coffee’s a little more difficult than boiling grounds with eggshells, pretty.” Peter emerged from the hallway, almost sleepwalking. “Mornin’ beautiful,” Tony said, planting a kiss on the top of Peter’s rumpled curls.

“You didn’t cook,” Peter said to Tony. He sniffed the air, his eyes still mostly unopened, as he sat at the counter.

“That would be me,” Bucky said, putting a plate in front of Peter at the kitchen stool.

“Are you complaining about my culinary expertise?” Tony said, miffed.

“Not at all, Tony. I’m sure you and May will open your own restaurant any day now.

“Shut up and drink your coffee flavored milk syrup.” Tony sat a mug in front of Peter.

Peter opened one eye fully and looked back and forth between the two men. “One to feed me food, one to feed me caffeine… I could grow to like this arrangement,” he said teasingly.

“There isn’t enough coffee in that to count as caffeine,” Tony said as he prepared his second espresso shot of the morning. “Want some?” he asked, taking a second cup of the shelf and putting it under the spout next to his.

“Italian coffee? Yes please.”

Food and drink arranged, the three of them spread out at the counter. Peter on one side of Tony, Bucky on the other.

Peter finished first. He put his plate in the sink. “He cooks, he can stay.”

Tony got up, glared at Peter as he very pointedly put his plate in the dishwasher. “He cooks like that every day, he can’t stay. I have a heart condition. That much bacon will kill me.”

Peter laughed and grabbed another piece. “I have no idea how long spiders live, so I’ll eat all of yours.” He stopped suddenly. “Oh fuck.”

“Spider’s out of the bag now, kid,” Tony said.

“You didn’t hear that, right?” Peter asked, ducking his head.

Bucky got up and added his plate to the sink, earning himself a glare that matched the one Tony gave Peter. “Hear what? That you’re Spider-Man? Been knowing that, kid. All the rogues do.”

“Oh god,” Peter said in a small voice.

“It’s okay, Pete,” Tony said, putting his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “They’re off the reservation, but they’re still Avengers. No one will tell.”

“Tony’s right. Your secret’s safe.”

“I’ve got class until four thirty today. It’s the stupid senior requirement for my early entrant program.”

“I’m sorry, kid. I got you into Columbia early. Got you into 200s in chemistry, but the state of New York requirements, those I couldn’t get you out of.”

“It’s okay, Tony,” Peter said, giving the man a kiss. “I just get bored.”

Tony turned back to the kitchen once the elevator door shut behind Peter. “Does no one know how to wash a dish in this place?”

Bucky plopped on the sofa. “I cooked, someone else cleans.”

Tony flung a dishcloth at his head. Bucky flung it back and Tony loaded the dishwasher. “So, you wanna tell me what happened?” he asked.

Bucky sighed and turned sideways, looking over the back of the sofa into the kitchen. “There’s dissension in the ranks of the rogues. Ever since Vision took up with Wanda. And no, I won’t tell you where they are.”

“Didn’t ask.”

“They’re leaning toward coming in and signing. Natalia too. Barton’s missing and presumed back with his family thanks to Fury. So that left Scott, Sam, Steve, and me. Scott’s taking the government’s deal of house arrest so he can be with his daughter. Steve thought he had me and Sam solidly behind him still. I signed yesterday afternoon with stipulations.”

“What stipulations?” Tony asked, sitting at the other end of the sofa.

“Better than I deserved.”

“What were they?”

“Regular psych evals, check-ins, and clearing by the doctors in Wakanda.”

“And?”

Bucky winced. “A full debrief by Ross.”

“No.”

“What?”

“I said — no.”

“It was part of the agreement I signed,” Bucky explained.

“And, I said, no,” Tony repeated. “If you’re brought in as an Avenger your debrief can be handled by Fury. I can track his secrets. Everett Ross? I can track him, but he’s a fuckin’ weasel. Fury’s an honorable man. Mostly. What’s in that pretty head,” Tony pointed at Bucky, “does not go any farther than Avengers HQ.”

“I signed, Tony.”

“I’m not saying you shouldn’t be debriefed, I’m just proposing an amendment as to who should do the debriefing.” He stood and patted Bucky’s metal arm. “And by ‘proposing’, I mean ‘demanding’.” He took out his phone and headed back to his room.

Bucky followed. “I didn’t try to hide when I came here. They’ll come to get me.”

Tony scoffed. “Let them try.”

Bucky looked about to object again.

Tony stopped him. “Do you know what I used to make for a living?” Bucky nodded. “And what opened up about three hundred feet above us?” Another nod. “Do you really think I would park this ass, of which I am inordinately fond, in just another shiny New York skyscraper?” Bucky’s eyes widened. “Let. Them. Try.” Tony smiled as he went to shut his bedroom door. “Go watch a movie or two. This might take awhile.”

[go-training-english-pro-blog]

S1E1

0:05

Kids, I'm gonna tell you an incredible story ;

0:08

the story of how I met your mother.

0:11

Are we being punished for something ?

0:13

No.

0:13

Yeah, is this gonna take a while ?

0:15

Yes. 25 years ago, before I was Dad,

0:19

I had this whole other life.

0:25

It was way back in 2005.

0:28

I was 27, just starting to make it as an architect

0:31

and living in New York with Marshall, my best friend from college.

0:34

My life was good.

0:35

And then Uncle Marshall went and screwed the whole thing up.

0:38

Will you marry me ?

0:42

Yes. Perfect !

0:42

And then you're engaged. You pop the champagne.

0:45

You drink a toast.

0:45

You have sex on the kitchen floor.

0:47

Don't have sex on our kitchen floor.

0:49

Got it.

0:51

Thanks for helping me plan this out, Ted.

0:51

Dude, are you kidding ? It's you and Lilly.

0:54

I've been there for all the big moments of you and Lilly :

0:56

night you met, your first date, other first things.

1:03

Yeah, sorry. We thought you were asleep.

1:04

It's physics, Marshall.

1:06

If the bottom bunk moves, the top bunk moves, too.

1:10

My God.

1:12

You're getting engaged tonight.

1:16

Yeah. What are you doin' tonight ?

1:18

What was I doing ?

1:19

Here Uncle Marshall was taking the biggest step of his life.

1:22

And me ?

1:23

I'm calling up your Uncle Barney.

1:25

Hey, so you know how I've always had a thing for half-Asian girls ?

1:30

Well, now I've got a new favorite... Lebanese girls.

1:34

Lebanese girls are the new half-Asians.

1:36

Hey, you want to do somethin' tonight ?

1:38

Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes. And suit up !

1:44

Where's your suit ?

1:47

Just once, when I say suit up, I wish you'd put on a suit.

1:50

I did that one time.

1:52

It was a blazer !

1:55

You know, ever since college it's been, Marshall and Lilly and me.

1:58

Now, it's gonna be Marshall and Lilly... and me.

2:02

They'll get married, start a family.

2:04

Before long, I'm that weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call Uncle Ted.

2:10

I see what this is about.

2:12

Have you forgotten what I said to you the night we met ?

2:16

Ted, I'm gonna teach you how to live.

2:19

Barney. We met at the urinal.

2:22

Oh, right. Right.

2:22

Lesson one : lose the goatee.

2:25

It doesn't go with your suit.

2:26

- I'm not wearing a suit. - Lesson two : get a suit.

2:29

Suits are cool. Exhibit "A."

2:32

Lesson three : don't even think about getting married till you're 30.

2:37

30. Right. You're right.

2:39

I guess it's just, your best friend gets engaged,

2:41

you start thinking about that stuff.

2:42

I thought I was your best friend.

2:44

Ted, say I'm your best friend.

2:48

You're my best friend, Barney.

2:49

Good. Then, as your best friend,

2:51

I suggest we play a little game I like to call

2:53

- "Have you met Ted ?" - Wait. No, no, no.

2:54

We're not playing "Have you met Ted ?"

2:56

Hi, have you met Ted ?

2:57

Hi, I'm Ted.

3:00

Yasmine.

3:02

That's a very pretty name.

3:04

Thanks. It's Lebanese.

3:09

I'm exhausted.

3:11

It was finger-painting day at school,

3:13

and a five year-old boy got to second base with me.

3:17

Wow ! You're cooking ?

3:20

Yes, I am.

3:22

Aw...

3:23

Are you sure that's a good idea ?

3:26

After last time, you looked really creepy without eyebrows.

3:30

I can handle this.

3:32

I think you'll find I'm full of surprises tonight.

3:33

So, there's more surprises ? Like what ?

3:35

Marshall was in his second year of law school,

3:37

so he was pretty good at thinking on his feet.

3:40

Boogedyboo !

3:41

And that's all of 'em.

3:44

I'm gonna go... cook.

3:47

I'm so happy for Marshall, I really am.

3:49

I just couldn't imagine settling down right now.

3:51

So, do you think you'll ever get married ?

3:53

Well, maybe eventually...

3:55

some fall day, possibly in Central Park.

3:59

Simple ceremony. We'll write our own vows.

4:02

Band, no DJ. People will dance !

4:04

I'm not gonna worry about it !

4:07

Damn it, why did Marshall have to get engaged ?

4:09

Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh ?

4:13

- Actually, I think it's cute. - Well, you're clearly drunk.

4:17

One more for the lady !

4:18

Oh, hey, look what I got.

4:24

Oh, honey ! Champagne.

4:28

Yeah.

4:31

No. You are too old to be scared to open a bottle of champagne.

4:36

- I'm not scared. - Then open it.

4:38

Fine.

4:39

Please open it ?

4:41

You are unbelievable, Marshall.

4:44

There are two big questions a man has to ask in life.

4:46

One, you plan out for months.

4:48

The other just slips out when you're half drunk at some bar.

4:51

Will you marry me ?

4:52

You wanna go out sometime ?

4:54

Of course, you idiot !

4:57

I'm sorry, Carl's my boyfriend.

5:02

'Sup, Carl ?

5:07

I promised Ted we wouldn't do that.

5:11

Did you know there's a Pop Tart under your fridge ?

5:14

No, but dibs.

5:16

Where's that champagne ?

5:19

I wanna drink a toast with my fiancée.

5:25

I don't know why I was so scared of this.

5:27

It's pretty easy, right ?

5:32

Why am I freaking out all of a sudden ?

5:34

This is crazy. I'm not ready to settle down.

5:35

How does Carl land a Lebanese girl ?

5:39

The plan has always been don't even think about it until you're 30.

5:41

Exactly. The guy doesn't even own a suit.

5:45

Plus, Marshall's found the love of his life.

5:47

Even if I was ready, which I'm not...

5:49

but if I was, it's, like, "Okay, I'm ready. Where is she ?"

5:57

And there she was.

6:05

It was like something from an old movie,

6:08

where the sailor sees the girl across the crowded dance floor,

6:11

turns to his buddy and says, "See that girl ?

6:15

I'm gonna marry her someday."

6:16

Hey, Barney, see that girl ?

6:19

Oh, yeah. You just know she likes it dirty.

6:22

Go say hi.

6:25

I can't just go say hi.

6:26

I need a plan.

6:28

I'm gonna wait until she goes to the bathroom,

6:29

then I'll strategically place myself by the jukebox...

6:31

Hi, have you met Ted ?

6:36

Let me guess... Ted.

6:41

Sorry, Lilly. I'm so sorry.

6:44

- Take us to the hospital. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

6:46

Did you hit her ?

6:49

Hit me ? Please !

6:52

This guy can barely even spank me in bed for fun.

6:55

He's all like, "Oh, honey. Did that hurt ?"

6:58

And, I'm like, "Come on ! Let me have it, you pansy !"

7:00

- Wow, a complete stranger. - No, no, no, no ! It's okay.

7:04

Go on.

7:06

So, these, uh, spankings...

7:07

you in pajamas or au naturel ?

7:11

So, what do you do ?

7:13

I'm a reporter for Metro News One.

7:15

Well, kind of a reporter.

7:17

I do those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news.

7:19

You know, like, um...

7:21

monkey who can play the ukulele.

7:24

I'm hoping to get some bigger stories soon.

7:26

Bigger, like, uh... gorilla with an upright bass ?

7:29

Sorry. You're really pretty.

7:34

Oh, your friends don't seem to happy.

7:37

Yeah, see, the one in the middle just got dumped by her boyfriend.

7:39

So, tonight, every guy is "the enemy."

7:42

You know if it'll make your friend feel better,

7:43

you could throw a drink in my face. I don't mind.

7:46

She would love that !

7:47

And it does look fun in the movies.

7:50

Hey, you wanna have dinner with me Saturday night ?

7:52

Oh, I can't.

7:53

I'm going to Orlando for a week on Friday.

7:56

Some guy's attempting to make the world's biggest pancake.

7:58

Guess who's covering it ?

8:00

That's gonna take a week ?

8:01

Yeah, he's gonna eat it, too. It's another record.

8:03

Hey ! What's takin' so long ?

8:06

Uh, I know this is a long shot, but how 'bout tomorrow night ?

8:09

Yeah. What the hell ?

8:17

Jerk !

8:20

That was fun.

8:22

De... wait for it... nied !

8:26

Denied !

8:28

We're goin' out tomorrow night.

8:29

I thought we were playin' laser tag tomorrow night.

8:32

Yeah, I was never gonna go play laser tag.

8:36

The next night, I took her out to this little bistro in Brooklyn.

8:41

That is one badass blue French horn.

8:44

Yeah.

8:45

Sort of looks like a Smurf penis.

8:48

Son, a piece of advice :

8:51

when you go on a first date, you really don't wanna say "Smurf penis."

8:55

Girls don't ordinarily like that.

8:57

But this was no ordinary girl.

9:04

Lilly ?

9:07

How long have you been sitting there ?

9:10

Stupid eye patch.

9:13

Mom, Dad, I have found the future Mrs. Ted Mosby.

9:19

Marshall, how have I always described my perfect woman ?

9:21

Now, let's see... she likes dogs ?

9:24

I've got five dogs.

9:25

She drinks scotch ?

9:27

I love a scotch that's old enough to order its own scotch.

9:29

Can quote obscure lines from Ghostbusters ?

9:31

Ray ! When someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes !"

9:36

And I'm saving the best for last.

9:39

Do you want these ? I hate olives.

9:41

She hates olives ! Awesome !

9:43

The olive theory.

9:44

The olive theory is based on my friends Marshall and Lilly.

9:48

He hates olives, she loves them.

9:50

In a weird way, that's what makes them such a great couple.

9:52

Perfect balance.

9:53

You know, I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever.

9:59

I could take 'em off your hands.

10:02

They're all yours.

10:05

Oh, it is on !

10:07

It is on till the break of dawn.

10:10

But wait.

10:12

It's only the break of 10:30. What happened ?

10:16

I gotta get one of those blue French horns for over my fireplace.

10:19

It's gotta be blue. It's gotta be French.

10:21

- No green clarinet ? - Nope.

10:22

Come on. No purple tuba ?

10:24

It's a Smurf penis or no dice.

10:26

There you are !

10:28

We got a jumper.

10:29

Some crazy guy on the Manhattan Bridge.

10:31

Come on. You're coverin' it !

10:33

Um... all right. I'll be right there.

10:37

I'm sorry.

10:39

I had a really great time tonight.

10:41

Yeah.

10:42

So ?! Did you kiss her ?

10:45

No. The moment wasn't right.

10:48

Look, this woman could actually be my future wife.

10:50

I want our first kiss to be amazing.

10:52

Aw, Ted, that is so sweet.

10:55

So you chickened out like a little bitch.

10:58

What ? I did not chicken out.

11:01

You know what ?

11:03

I don't need to take first kiss advice from some pirate

11:04

who hasn't been single since the first week of college.

11:07

Anyone who's single would tell you the same thing,

11:09

even the dumbest single person alive.

11:12

And if you don't believe me, call him.

11:15

Hey, loser.

11:17

How's not playing laser tag ?

11:18

Because playing laser tag is awesome !

11:21

- Oh, I killed you, Conner ! - Don't make me get your mom !

11:23

Hey, listen. I need your opinion on something.

11:24

Okay, meet me at the bar in 15 minutes.

11:27

And suit up !

11:29

So, these guys think I chickened out.

11:32

What do you think ?

11:33

I can't believe you're still not wearing a suit.

11:37

She didn't even give me the signal.

11:39

What, is she gonna, she gonna bat her eyes ayou in Morse code ?

11:43

"Ted... kiss me." No ! You just kiss her !

11:47

Not if you don't get the signal.

11:52

Did Marshall give me the signal ?

11:53

No ! I didn't. I swear.

11:58

But, see, at least tonight,

11:59

I get to sleep knowing Marshall and me,

12:01

never gonna happen.

12:02

You should have kissed her.

12:04

Oh, I should have kissed her.

12:06

Well, maybe in a week when she gets back from Orlando.

12:08

A week ? That's like a year in hot girl time.

12:11

She'll forget all about you.

12:13

Mark my words... you will never see that one again.

12:15

There she is.

12:17

Ooh ! She's cute. Hey, Carl, turn it up.

12:20

...persuaded him to reconsider.

12:22

At which point, the man came down off the ledge,

12:24

giving this bizarre story a happy ending.

12:28

- Reporting from Metro One News... - Guy didn't jump.

12:31

I'm gonna go kiss her.

12:33

Right now.

12:35

Look, dude. It's midnight.

12:37

As your future lawyer, I'm gonna advise you that's freakin' crazy.

12:39

I never do anything crazy.

12:41

I'm always waiting for the moment, planning the moment.

12:44

Well, she's leaving tomorrow.

12:45

This may be the only moment I'm gonna get.

12:47

I gotta do what that guy couldn't.

12:49

I gotta take the leap !

12:51

Okay, not a perfect metaphor,

12:52

'cause for me it's fall in love and get married,

12:54

and for him it's... death.

12:57

Actually, that is a perfect metaphor.

13:00

By the way, did I congratulate you two ?

13:04

I'm doing this.

13:05

Let's go.

13:07

- Word up. - We're coming with you.

13:09

Barney ?

13:11

All right, but under one condition.

13:15

Look at you, you beautiful bastard. You suited up !

13:18

This is totally going in my blog !

13:21

Stop the car.

13:23

Uh, pull over right here.

13:24

I gotta do something.

13:27

Excuse me. Pardon me. Just a sec'.

13:30

Enjoy your coffee.

13:32

Go ! Go ! Go !

13:36

Everybody brings flowers.

13:45

Okay.

13:46

Moment of truth.

13:50

Wish me luck.

13:51

Ted's gonna get it on with a TV reporter.

13:54

"This just in." Okay.

13:59

Kiss her, Ted ! Kiss her good !

14:01

Kiss the crap outta that girl !

14:05

Marshall, remember this night.

14:08

When you're the best man at our wedding and you give a speech,

14:11

you're gonna tell this story.

14:13

Why does he get to be the best man ?

14:15

I'm your best friend !

14:20

As I walked up to that door, a million thoughts raced through my mind.

14:22

Unfortunately, one particular thought did not.

14:24

I've got five dogs.

14:25

Not good. Not good.

14:27

- No ! - Get back in there !

14:29

You're wearing a suit !

14:34

Ted ?

14:36

Hi.

14:39

I was just, uh...

14:45

Come on up.

14:49

He's in.

14:51

So...

14:53

Ranjit, you must have done it with a Lebanese girl ?

14:56

Okay, that's my Barney limit.

14:59

I'm gonna see if that bodega has a bathroom.

15:01

Actually, I'm from Bangladesh.

15:05

The women hot there ?

15:07

Here's a picture of my wife.

15:10

A simple "no" would have sufficed.

15:14

She's lovely.

15:17

So, Ted, what brings you back to Brooklyn at 1:00 in the morning in a suit ?

15:23

I was just hoping to...

15:26

get those olives...

15:28

that you said I could have.

15:29

Would you like those olives with some gin and vermouth ?

15:32

Are you trying to get me drunk ?

15:38

For starters.

15:47

So, Marshall, this olive theory, based on you and Lilly ?

15:52

You hate olives.

15:54

Lilly loves 'em. You can't stand 'em.

15:56

Yeah. Hate olives.

15:57

Two weeks ago, Spanish bar on 79th street, dish of olives, you had some... what up ?

16:04

You have to swear that this does not leave this cab.

16:08

- I swear. - I swear.

16:12

On our first date, I ordered a Greek salad.

16:15

Lilly asked if she could have my olives.

16:17

- I said, "Sure. I hate olives." - But, you like olives.

16:22

Well, I was 18, okay ? I was a virgin.

16:24

Been waitin' my whole life for a pretty girl to want my olives.

16:28

Marshall, I'm gonna give you an early wedding present.

16:32

Don't get married.

16:42

I think I like your olive theory.

16:45

I think I like your new French horn.

16:48

I think I like your nose.

16:52

I think I'm in love with you.

16:53

What ?! What ?! What ?!

16:57

Come on, man, you said your stomach's been hurting, right ?

16:59

You know what that is.

17:00

Hunger.

17:02

You're hungry for experience.

17:04

Hungry for something new.

17:06

Hungry for olives.

17:07

But you're too scared to do anything about it.

17:10

Yeah, I'm scared, okay ?

17:13

But, when I think of spending the rest of my life with Lilly...

17:17

committing, forever, no other women...

17:20

doesn't scare me at all.

17:22

I'm marrying that girl.

17:26

Lilly.

17:28

Lilly, I like olives.

17:31

We'll make it work.

17:44

So, Orlando. You gonna hit Disneyworld ?

17:51

You love me ?!

17:53

Why did I say that ? Who says that ?

17:56

I should just go.

17:58

Hold on.

17:59

Wait a minute.

18:02

Promised you these.

18:05

Olives. Thanks. I love you.

18:07

What is wrong with me ?

18:11

Why are we still sitting here ?

18:13

Let's go. We can still make last call.

18:14

What do you say, Lil ?

18:15

Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum ?

18:20

'Cause you're a pirate.

18:22

Okay, eye patch, gone.

18:25

And we can't just abandon Ted.

18:27

If it doesn't go well up there, he's gonna need some support.

18:30

It's been, like, 20 minutes.

18:32

You think they're doin' it ?

18:33

You think they're doin' it in front of the dogs ?

18:34

Doggy style.

18:36

Hey, there was a girl in college, she had this golden retriever...

18:38

Okay, we can go to the bar. Just stop talking.

18:41

Hit it, Ranjit.

18:47

So, when you tell this story to your friends,

18:49

could you avoid the word "psycho ?"

18:52

I'd prefer. "eccentric."

18:55

Good night... psycho.

19:01

Great.

19:03

Um, how do I get to the F train ?

19:05

Oh, um, two blocks that way and take a right.

19:11

You know what ?

19:15

I'm done being single.

19:17

I'm not good at it.

19:19

Look, obviously, you can't tell a woman you just met you love her.

19:22

But... it sucks that you can't.

19:27

I'll tell you something, though.

19:28

If a woman... not you, just some hypothetical woman...

19:32

were to bear with me through all this,

19:34

I think I'd make a damn good husband.

19:36

Because, that's the stuff I'd be good at,

19:38

stuff like making her laugh and being a good father.

19:43

And walking her five hypothetical dogs.

19:47

Being a good kisser.

19:50

Everyone thinks they're a good kisser.

19:51

Oh, I've got references.

19:54

Good night, Ted.

20:01

And I'm a good handshaker.

20:04

That's a pretty great handshake.

20:09

And that was it.

20:12

I'll probably never see her again.

20:15

What ?

20:17

That was the signal.

20:18

That long, lingering handshake ? You should have kissed her.

20:23

There's no such thing as "the signal."

20:25

But, yeah, that was the signal.

20:28

Signal.

20:30

Ah, Carl, thank you.

20:32

Something I gotta do.

20:35

By the way, you should have kissed her.

20:36

Carl ! You guys weren't there.

20:41

I am so turned on right now.

20:44

Guys, trust me.

20:46

I've seen the signal.

20:47

That was not the signal.

20:49

Yeah, Ted, we're not on you anymore.

20:52

- To my fiancée. - To the future.

20:55

To one hell of a night !

21:00

That was not the signal.

21:04

I asked her about it years later.

21:06

And, yeah, that was the signal.

21:08

I could have kissed her.

21:10

But that's the funny thing about destiny.

21:12

It happens whether you plan it or not.

21:14

I mean, I never thought I'd see that girl again,

21:16

but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle

21:19

to see the picture that was forming.

21:20

Because, that, kids, is the true story of how I met your Aunt Robin.

21:26

Aunt Robin ?

21:28

I thought this was how you met mom !

21:30

Will you relax ? I'm getting to it.

21:32

Like I said, it's a long story.

[fenvincible]

the other day (like.. two weeks ago) @destiel-is-classic was like “Love the Way You Lie pt 2 is very much a Stony post Civil War song” and I was like “you’re right, you’re exactly right”. So I wrote a thing for it and now I’m considering turning it into a whole fic but I like this lil snippet a lot. 

On the first page of our story...

Steve pulls off the mask and breathes out a sigh of a relief because Tony is still Tony and he smiles up at him before suggesting shawarma.

So they go get shawarma because preventing the end of the world, and thwarting the plans of a trickster god do work up quite the appetite.

The future seemed so bright…

It starts slow. A sandwich left outside the lab, an extra blanket on the couch during movie night. A new song on Steve’s playlist, tickets to a Dodgers game.

And, just like that, teammates become acquaintances.

“Just don’t touch anything, Rogers. I’m creating beautiful science here,” Tony mutters. Grin spread across his face as he programs Jarvis to give Steve access to the workshop.

“I know it won’t be the same,” Steve’s voice is soft, but Tony still jumps. The shout echoing off the abnormally quiet walls of the shop. “But Jarvis directed me to a few of the recipes your mom used to cook? I- well, uhm, I noticed you had been down here awhile and I thought you might like some comfort food.”

And, just like that, acquaintances become friends.

It’s New Year’s Eve and maybe they’ve had too much too drink, or maybe it’s the post battle high, they wouldn’t be able to tell you if you asked.

A party rages inside the tower but Tony stands on the balcony, suit jacket abandoned at some other time and location during the festivities. Instead he’s wrapped a soft throw around his shoulders, the print of Cap’s shield billowing out behind him like a cape. Steve can just barely see the scotch glass dangling from the man’s fingers, ice clinking softly as Tony looks out on the city.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Steve asks, stepping gently out onto the balcony, drawing the jacket tighter around his shoulders in response to the cold.

“What does one get as a wedding present for his ex and the head of his security team?” Tony laughs but his laugh is mirthless, sharper than he had been expecting. Less real than he wanted. “Coincidentally they’re also two of his best friends”

Steve mules it over, he knows Tony and Pepper broke up two years ago, he knows Pepper and Happy started seeing each other a year ago.

“Well, it depends. What message are you trying to convey?” Steve joins Tony’s perch against the railing, a mug of Thor’s favorite asgardian mead held in his hand.

“I’m happy that you’re happy but why am I sad?” Tony grinds the words out, spitting them like they’re caviar.

“Get them bath towels,” Steve answers. “But they have to be scratchy. Get them expensive scratchy bath towels.”

Tony laughs, he laughs full and real. He looks so beautiful against the New York City skyline. The city lights paint him so he looks ethereal, almost like Steve’s dreams. His hair is so midnight black that it almost melts into the sky.

“I didn’t know you were so devious, Rogers,” Tony chuckles. Just as the countdown begins.

Years later Steve will say it was the mead, sweet as honey on his tongue and warm through to his toes. He’ll say he got caught up in the way the countdown started, Thor’s voice booming over the others.

10…

Tony finally stops laughing, he leans over the balcony.

9…

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Tony asks, Steve nods. But he isn’t looking at New York.

8…

Tony looks back up at Steve, his eyes wide and full.

7…

Steve wonders if Tony’s always blushed such a pretty shade of pink.

6…

Steve eyes are stuck on the shorter mans lips. He asks himself if Tony has always had such full lips. Wonders if they’ve always looked this pretty and pink, or if they’re just windbeaten.

5…

“Tony…” Steve starts, and his voice is tight, full of longing he didn’t know he had until this moment.

4…

“Steve?” Tony questions.

3…

Steve steps closer, looking down at Tony. Taking in how Tony’s lashes flutter across his cheeks. The black is his lashes contrasting beautifully with the red of cheeks.

2…

Steve questions for a moment, a full second how he didn’t know it was all pointing to this. Every late night conversation, every movie night spent huddled together on the couch, every early morning cup of coffee.

All of it, leading to this.

1…

“Tony,” Steve says again, leaning forward, closing the distance.

0…

And. just like that, friends become something more.

Then this thing turned out so evil…

“Til death do us part, huh, honey?” Tony spits at Steve. There’s venom running through his veins and his eyes are alight with anger.

Steve doesn’t know if Tony’s ever looked more beautiful.

“Tony you don’t understand,” Steve groans. Reaching out to his husband, his world, his everything.

He tries not to let his heartbreak, as Tony jerks out of his reach. He moves like Steve’s touch would burn. He tries to not to shudder with the cold that overcomes him as he looks into Tony’s eyes and still sees nothing but anger and betrayal.

“No Steve,” Tony spits Steve’s name like it’s trash, like it’s poison in his mouth. “I do understand, baby, I understand that it’s you and Buck til the end of the line, isn’t it? It always has been. I tho- I mean…”

Tony trails off, the sight of him crying breaks Steve more than he thought he could be broken. He didn’t mean for this to happen. He’s just doing what he thinks is right.

“You said you loved me. Tha- that I was your future,” Tony trails off. He takes a moment to put himself back together. When he looks back to Steve it’s with steely, frigid resolve. His brown eyes are empty, the warmth gone. “I-I’m trying to keep this family together Steve. Why won’t you let me help you?”

“You can’t help me,” Steve says, the words slip out of his mouth faster than he can think. The regret is heavy in his bones before his mouth is closed again.

Tony looks like he’s been slapped, like Steve has swept his entire world out from under him, and maybe Steve has.

And, just like that, lovers become enemies.

[cat-at-dawn]

IN DEFENSE OF THE DEATH OF  ████████ , AND AN ARGUMENT AGAINST SUICIDE

This one’s for the manga readers! Post-volume 19 meta, spoilers aplenty! read at your own risk

Though the literal iteration of the death of Ash Lynx can be viewed as a purposeful shuffle from this mortal coil, a specific decision made with weight to return to the New york Public Library to live out his last moments dwelling on Eiji’s letter only to intentionally fade away, here stands a lonely argument; out of the entire cast, no one person deserves death in the same capacity more than Ash Lynx does, and his death is not a suicide. Let’s break it down.

Out of all of the MANY problematic elements of Banana Fish, not even trying to hazard which offense is worse than the next, we can all simultaneously agree that one of the most heartbreaking twists of the series comes at the end of volume 19, when after receiving Eiji’s goodbye letter, which essentially amounts to an incredibly pure love declaration, Ash allows himself to be mentally distracted long enough for Sing’s brother Lao to deliver a killing stab to his intestines. Though Lao dies shortly after Ash’s retaliation, Ash continues to linger in a liminal place. The question hangs in the mind of the reader, if Ash approached a happy ending, why would he not seek hospitalization? Why would he allow himself to bleed out? The manga strikes back hard at the reader with a quite prolonged death sequence, in which Ash retreats to his favorite place to be alone, the New York Public Library, where, with a smile on his face, he falls into a peaceful sleep and dies at a reading table while clutching Eiji’s now bloody love letter. What is the nature of his mindset which dictates this course of action? Why, with Eiji hale and hearty, would Ash choose death instead of medical treatment and a possibly much happier ending to this tale of woe? At this point, I can only wonder if we, the readership, have read the same story. The ending of Banana Fish is hotly debated, and even though as a queer storyteller myself I fundamentally have trouble with gay death as a narrative element, I can’t help but question why people can’t empathize more with Ash’s decision. When judging the manga as a standing piece, I can’t think of a more satisfying, or simply more correct turn of events.

Directly out of the gate, Ash’s death is foreshadowed in the title of the series. A Perfect Day For Banana Fish is a short story by J.D. Salinger which follows the last day in the life of mentally ill World War 2 veteran Seymour Glass, who befriends a little girl while on vacation at the beach. He invites her to catch bananafish with him, and explains that the greedy fish enter holes to gorge themselves on bananas, but become too large to escape again and instead perish in the hole. Later, Seymour returns to his room where his wife is sleeping, and he kills himself. Salinger relates this as a metaphor for his own personal experience in the war, specifically to his time at the Battle of the Bulge and in Nazi concentration camps. He is quoted saying Seymour is an iteration of himself, and has gone so far as to say that he “found it impossible to fit into a society that ignored the truth that he now knew.”  The point of the story has always been to examine the irreversible damage done to the human psyche by war. The Perfect Day referenced in the title is exactly that; the quest of a broken man lacking the power to overcome his trauma to find exactly the perfect day to die. So it also is with Ash, we understand from the very beginning that making this direct analogy to Salinger means the manga will be the slow disclosure of someone who is irrevocably damaged by their circumstance as they come to terms with the moment of their own death. From the very first panel you see him, Ash’s death is already fated, and truly the most heart-rending struggle of the series is watching him grapple with this identity, up to nearly the very last second. As a reader, we continuously keep hoping and praying that he might, against all odds, find salvation despite literally every piece of contrary evidence suggesting otherwise. We have violent affection for Ash as a hero, and we want him so badly to live on, to make it to the other side. He both finds salvation and doesn’t find it, because like everything else about this manga, Ash operates thematically on contradictory levels all the way through the story and on to the bitter end. Let’s break it down even further, by considering exactly just how fucked Ash really is.

Ash is born Aslan Jade Callenrese, and then quickly discarded. He briefly experiences a short period of normalcy with the love of his brother and distant father before Griffin is drafted. Almost immediately after, Ash is raped by the Bluebeard of Cape Cod and then blamed for it, and from then on, his life is a progression of non-stop horror. He is kidnapped by Marvin who repeatedly rapes him over a period of years. He is sold into sexual servitude at Club Cod. He somehow  manages to avoid getting addicted to the opioids that all the child prostitutes were fed to keep them tame, and when Ash escapes, it is only because he is instead personally taken under Papa Dino’s wing, who specifically sexually abuses him while simultaneously not knowing or caring that Marvin continues to rape Ash, among presumably a handful of other people. Blanca is a small, bright focal point for Ash at age 13 when Ash lets himself briefly believe he has autonomy, and he is released to start his own gang. Ash’s fundamental humanity and inherent leadership magnetically draw people to him, and for the first time in his life, Ash briefly entertains the idea of having a private romantic relationship of his own. He is attracted to a girl he likes very much, but she is murdered almost immediately due to her association with him. He afterward throws himself into the business of his gang without ever fully extracting himself from Papa Dino’s hold. It is only with the discovery of the capsule containing Banana Fish that Ash for the first time in his short life discovers a bit of real leverage he can actually use against Dino. The subsequent drug war sees him beaten, sent to jail, raped many more times, and sent on a cross-country mission on the lam from the law, as well as from Dino’s goons, both Corsican and Chinese. Yut-Lung proves to be a worthy adversary in LA, and his teaming up with Arthur sees Ash murdering his best friend Shorter in cold blood who is forcibly high on banana fish in order to save Eiji from an especially savage disembowelment. Ash is later declared legally dead, sent to a private insane asylum to be experimented on, tortured with the mangled bits of Shorter’s brain, and then after escaping yet again, still forced into a corner when Dino tricks and threatens him into becoming officially adopted, once more in order to prevent Eiji’s death. Ash is drugged, literally blinded, beaten, and emotionally and physically torn down. He nearly dies from intentionally wasting away, and is hospitalized. When he eventually once again manages to escape, it is only to regroup long enough to prepare to engage with his men in actual guerrilla warfare. The mercenary Foxx kills nearly all of Ash’s remaining gang, and once AGAIN, Ash is raped.  Ash is ultimately deprived of his revenge when he then has to witness Papa Dino’s death by the hand of someone other than himself. These are the major plot points, and don’t even touch on the myriad of lesser cruelties Ash has dealt with over the course of his short life, of which there are many, many more.  (See: The death of most of his friends, that fucklord Arthur, everything about Cape Cod, the pain of using his sexual wiles as a weapon, the pain of knowing if he opens up to others that the lives of his friends will be in danger, the pain of being unable to give his loved ones proper burials, his one hundred issues with classism, his complete inability to trust others with important tasks, the list goes on.)

Around volume 10, I started, in a serious way, feeling like Ash deserved death. Not in the way that a dog is put out of it’s misery when it is sick, but more in the way that when the path is this hard, the reward at the end should be equivalent to the struggle. Being a CSA survivor all on its own demands a certain level of understanding, especially when approaching volatile, sensitive subjects like suicide. The act of taking one’s own life is so deeply personal and hotly debated that there is no true narrative argument legitimate enough to address it’s purpose. All of it is too subjective. However, in the case of Ash Lynx as the thematic hero, the case stands that he never, except for perhaps the small corridor between the ages of 0-7, lived a life anywhere remotely near average, so his many brushes with near-suicide are chillingly understandable. At one point, when forced to either shoot himself in the head or watch Eiji die, Ash even goes so far as to grab the gun and immediately try to blow his brains out. When the gun is proven empty, instead of breathing a secret sigh of relief, Ash only demands that Yut Lung give him a bullet. 

Though this emphasizes Ash’s near fanatical devotion to protecting Eiji, whose innocence he both disdains and canonizes, it also represents his constant readiness to die. This flirtation with the reaper is emphasized over and over in the official art, where a sexual element is often present in his interactions with death. Ash wishes for death to embrace him, he literally desires it. This is mostly on a subtextual level, but other times his desire is stiflingly surface-level.

 The extent of Ash’s damage is so severe and was inflicted on him so early that his ability to live a normal life was only ever subject to his situation. An argument can be made that his unusually high IQ kept him from the brink of emotional destruction for the majority of his life, but in spite of his incredible virility and strength of character, Ash’s prospects as he aged were always bleak at best. Ash the adult is almost unfathomable. He was literally never allowed to be a child during a key developmental period, and even the manga infers that Eiji’s presence as a romantic element is strongly tied to Ash’s desire to return to a time of innocence. Ash is permanently trapped in a never-neverland of sorts, sexually defiled to the point where his own sexual awakening has been completely obscured beyond his own recognition. His relationship with Eiji is painfully asexual, one, because literally everything about Banana Fish is painful, but also because it is unclear if Ash may have been naturally asexual in the first place or if he was made into an asexual as the result of his childhood trauma. Either way, he certainly doesn’t have a lot of choice about the way that he is, and that way is, fundamentally, morally, and spiritually exhausted. It is only his tenacious spark, his survivors grip to life, and his affection for others in his life whom he loves that are weaker than him, that keeps him stubbornly clung to his own mortal vessel until the very end.

Eiji’s presence as a guiding light is, in THE definitively heartbreaking turn, the permission Ash needs to allow himself to finally die. He has always known that he would die, probably even thought that he should have already died, many, many times over. He is permanently and irreversibly damaged by the course of his life, and though we scream and cry and pray in the hope that Ash can make it, that he can still pull through and come out on the other side living and thriving in love, he was ultimately just never meant to make it that far. Even when Eiji tries to convince Ash that he is not the leopard, that he can come back down from the mountain, we are distantly still aware that this is not true, despite how difficult it is to accept. This difference of character is most clearly seen in Ash’s foil with Yut-Lung; both boys are the savant products of rape-and-murder-riddled childhoods. However, where Yut-Lung lacked anyone to give him acceptance and affection as he grew, Ash ended his time knowing love. Where Yut-Lung survives to the end and goes on to an even higher position of strength, he still has an emotional arc to complete. Yut Lung must discover for himself the value of human life. Ash already knew this value from the beginning, because his moral compass, which sometimes admittedly became scrambled, more or less always pointed true by the end of things.

The argument can be made that as the embodiment of the concept of Salinger’s short story, Ash is fated to die. Eiji, who in many ways is the window through which we experience this world, refuses to bend to fate. He insists in innocence again and again that Ash can change his fate, and for a moment, when Ash finds the plane ticket to Japan in Eiji’s letter, we really, really want to believe him. So, of course, because this manga is singularly cruel, it is here that Ash is stabbed. Of ffffucking course, after everything, death comes for Ash in a fashion which is completely mundane against the grandiose, bombastic scale of the story. An old grudge settled by someone Ash didn’t even have the time to hate in the first place. Ash let himself believe in a real life with Eiji for a single moment, and that proved to be his downfall. When he let his guard down, he let death in. He realizes his destiny immediately, because he is not stupid. His death is not a suicide, it is an understanding. 

 According to Akimi Yoshida, fate always wins out, but what the manga adds to this sad experience is this; despite everything, unlike Salinger’s broken Seymour, Ash’s heart in the end is full of love. His perfect day to die is the day he reads Eiji’s letter, the letter that declares them permanently bonded. Falling in love allows Ash to let go of himself gently, instead of the infinitely more brutal end he would have met at a villain’s hand otherwise, if he hadn’t fought tooth and nail for his very last scrap of autonomy up until that moment. Eiji’s love as an act of compassion is most perfectly realized; because Ash’s Perfect Day is one of is own making. All the circumstances together form a perfect conclusion. He didn’t see the knife coming, and he didn’t need to. After Papa Dino’s death, after Eiji is gone, Ash can finally stop. He can accept that his trauma is greater than even him. In a life spent being forced back and forth according to the violent winds of his circumstance, he chooses to, (and that’s important, he chooses to,) retreat like a cat to a quiet place of safety to live out his last moments. In this way, Ash’s death is merely a setting down of something unbearably heavy. Because he is loved, because Eiji is safe and far away, Ash is at last released from the prison of his life.

Other Banana Fish Meta: CAPE COD AS PURGATORY AND ASH’S BREAK FROM INNOCENCE

[katherynhudsoncharity]

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Commentaires (22)

dam le 23/04/2018

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  lescoquinesdecoquin le 21/05/2018

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  porntostars2 le 23/05/2018

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  porntostars2 le 09/08/2018

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  aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 27/09/2018

24/7 0044+(0)1892891450 and cellphone 0044+(0)7950258026 My voicebox fell out and got stuck in my throat I could not breathe started to black out after an epileptic fit of laughter after supermodel taylor 13 told me to #speaknow and I opened up a landline number for Alison Hathor-Sekhmet and there was a fault and the telephone company rang me and my daughter Goddess Queen Persephone was tucking her old man into bed with @LizaSwift photo on my bedside table to try and mind read what my @KillaQueenSwift got up to in Are You Ready for it middle of the night dreams and I had to talk in a high pitch voice like a tranie eunuch and I said I was Alice in Wonderland as I made Taylor Aphrodite goddess of love, beauty and sex and Persephone turns humans crazy with a beauty greater than Aphrodite and my daughter reads my mind and said @MarquessdaDaDa YOU NAUGHTY OLD PERVERT AS I WONDERED IF READING TAYTAYS MIND WAS A GOOD IDEA WHAT IF SHE GETS UP FOR A NIGHTIME PEE AND MY PYJAMAS SUDDENLY WENT DAMP I HAVE BEEN CELIBATE FOR 10 YEARS AND I USUALLY ATTRACT LESBIAN BI'S AND I GAVE UP MIND READING WHEN MARRIED TO KATY PERRY SHE ATTRACTS BLACK MONSTER COCKS 2 AT A TIME AND I ONCE WENT TO A PORN SITE TO SEE IT MY IDOL TAY EVER DID TOPLESS AND FOUND 2 PICS ON THE DARK NET OF MY WIFE GIVING A BIG STALLION HORSE A BLOWJOB AND PENETRATING HER AND IN NEARLY 5 YEARS OF MARRIAGE SHE NEVER EVEN LET ME TOUCH HER BUT USED TO SEND ME SEXY SEMI NAKED SELFIES FROM HER HOTEL SUITES WEARING 6 INCH LABOUTIN'S AND PRADA AND DOLCE & GABBANA AND VERSACE IN AMERICA REGULAR AND I HAVE WRITTEN THE BASSLINES AND DRUMBEATS FOR PRISM AND WITNESS AND GOT HER THE 2015 SUPERBOWL HALF TIME GIG AND I AM THE ONLY WHITE WRAPPER IN @WUTANGCLAN I INVENTED THE GREAT ROCK N ROLL SWINDLE SEX PISTOLS AND PUNK ROCK AND MANAGED EARLY DAVID JONES WHO WENT ONTO BECOME DAVID BOWIE THEN I THOUGHT HOW IS SHE TAKING HER SELFIES AND IN FRONT OF A MIRROR I ZOOMED IN AND THERE WAS ORLANDO BLOOM A PAEDOPHILE MK ULTRA DIAMOND BETA SEX KITTEN PROGRAM HANDLER MASTURBATING HIS 2 INCH COCK WITH MY WIFE'S IPHONE IN THE MIRROR REFLECTION SO BROKEN HEARTED I RANG RIRI'S EX MY BF AND AS BLOOMS MUM LIVES 20 MILES AWAY FROM US I ASKED IF HE KNEW BLOOM AND HE GOT A GCHQ MI5 REPORT AND SAID HE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC SMACK HEAD WHO HAD HEPATITUS B AND HIV POS + FROM SHARING DIRTY NEEDLES IN HOLLYWOOD PUBLIC TOILETS WHERE HE WAS A GAY RENT BOY DOING UNPROTECTED ANAL DPS FOR SKAG BAGS FIXES AND HE WAS A DWARF CALLED PRINCE OF ELVES IN THE HOBBIT FILMS AND WAS MARRIED RECENTLY TO A HAS BEEN POP SINGER CALLED KATHERYN ELIZABETH HUDSON IN A PASSPORT SCAM IN PRAGUE AND HIS EX WIFE DIVORCED HIM FOR HAVING SEX WITH THEIR 7 YEAR OLD SON AND HAS A NEW YORK FLAT IN THE SAME BLOCK AS TAYLOR SWIFT IN NEW YORK AND JUSTIN BIEBER BEAT HIM UP IN AN LA RESTAURANT AFTER BLOOM WENT FOR HIM AFTER BIEBS BEDDED BLOOMS SUPERMODEL WIFE MIRANDA KERR (WHO IS ALSO MY DAUGHTER) AND JUST REMARRIED THE WHATSAPP CREATOR WHO AT THE END OF THE HONEYMOON SOLD IT FOR 7 BILLION DOLLARS TO MY SECRET SOCIETY FRIEND MARK ZUCKERBERGER AND BROKE BLOOM WHO SELLS HIS BODY FOR BOTTLE MONEY TO FEED HIS ALCOHOL ADDICTION AND THIS KATY HUDSON HAD COMPLAINED HER LOVE KORLANDO KABLOOM LATY BUBBADOO NEVER HAD ANY MONEY TO PAY TO WINE AND DINE HER HAVING FLOWN HIM TO ASPEN, CHILE, CANNES, SARDINIA, MALDIVES, NEW YORK, HAWAII, MEXICO, PRAGUE, PARIS, LONDON, TOKYO, BEIJING TO HOLLYWOOD LIFE SO KATY HAD TO PAY HIM $25 MILLION AFTER THEY GOT PAPPED BY LONG RANGE TELESCOPIC LENS ON A PADDLEBOARD WITH BLOOM STICKING HIS COCK IN KATY'S MOUTH IN THE MEDITERRANEAN SEA WHEN HE HAD CONTAGIOUS STAGE TERTIARY GONNEREAH AND THREATENED TO SEND THE NEGATIVES TO KATY'S HUSBAND IF SHE DID NOT BUY THEM FOR £25MILLION CASH WHO WAS AN EX TOP GUN RAF FIGHTER PILOT AND STILL IN THE PARACHUTE REGIMENT OF THE FRENCH FOREIGN LEGION AS A RESERVE AND IN 1985 WAS AWARDED THE HIGHEST FRENCH ARMY MEDAL LEGION D'HONNEUR FOR KILLING 148 CENTRAL AMERICAN GUERILLAS BEAR HANDED A DOUBLE BLACK BELT KUNG FU INSTRUCTOR OF THE SHAOLIN TEMPLE WHO 1983-87 REIGNED SUPREME AS THE BEST SHOT IN THE FRENCH ARMY 5 YEARS ON THE TROT WITH HIS SNIPER DESTRUCTEUR FR F1 7.6MM SHARPSHOOTER RIFLE WHERE HE CAN TAKE OUT AN EYEBALL FROM 1000 METERS AND WAS RUMORED TO HAVE BLOWN UP 300 IRAQI TANKS ON THE FRONTLINE OF THE OPERATION DESSERT STORM IN THE FIRST GULF WAR AFTER THE LEGION PARAS SPECIAL FORCES PARACHUTED BEHIND ENEMY LINES AND BEAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION BOXER JOHN CONTEH BY A KNOCKOUT IN ROUND 1 OF A CHARITY FUNDRAISER AND IS LICENCE A TUE (LICENCED TO KILL) AND HIS BIO OF PAST GIRLFRIEND INCLUDES THE COUNTESS OF WESSEX, CAMERON DIAZ, MEG RYAN, PRINCESS STEPHANIE OF MONACO, VANESSA PARADIS, ANNA FRIEL, MADONNA, BEYONCE, RHIANNA AND HAD A PARIS APPARTMENT WHERE MADONNA LIVED BEFORE SHE BECAME FAMOUS AND NICOLE SHERZINGER, KATE MOSS, CLAUDIA SCHAFFER, NAOMI CAMPBELL, KARLIE KLOSS, JODIE FOSTER AND HIS FRENCH PASSPORT IS SAWDY 'TAYLOR' AFTER HE CHANGED HIS NAME IN HONOR OF HIS IDOL SINGER SONGWRITER TAYLOR SWIFT WHOM HE VOWED TO MARRY IF HE EVER MET AND STALKS HER ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND CLAIMS HE WOULD DIE FOR HER HE LOVES HER SO MUCH AND SAID SHE IS PRETTIER THAN ANY OF HIS PREVIOUS GIRLS IN A PARIS MATCH EXCLUSIVE WITH HIS SISTER QUEEN OF FASHN KATHARINE HAMNETT @LAHamnett VIDEO DIRECTOR GRAMMY WINNER FOR BON JOVI AND YOU WERE A LEGIONNAIRE JOHN DID YOU KNOW HIM HE SOUNDS LIKE A PREMIER LEAGUE SUPERMAN HIS BF IS CRISTIANO RONALDO WHO SAYS HE IS A BETTER FOOTBALLER THAN HIM OMG LORD PADLEY KNOW HIM, IAM HIM I NEVER MENTION MY BIO I REMAIN MODEST AND HUMBLE BUT I AM GONNA RID MYSELF OF THE KILLER QUEEN AND PUT ON BAD BLOOD FULL VOLUME AND TELL TAYGOD 'I'M READY FOR IT, DOES IT HURT, IS IT FREE AND RING ME I FELL IN LOVE WITH HER ON FIRST SIGHT AND I HAVE PUT A $1,000,000 CONTRACT OUT FOR A KATY LOOSE HEAD BATHED IN ACID SO NO ONE HAS TO KNOW AND SHH I AM BIGGER DOWNSTAIRS THAN KATY'S DARK HORSE STALLION 11 INCHES NORMAL GOD KNOWS WHAT IT WILL DO ON MY TAYGODS HONEYMOON NIGHT CAN TAY PACK HER FUJI INSTANT POLAROID CAMERA AND GIVE ME A GAG ON A PADDLEBOARD AND SHOW ME INCREDIBLE THINGS I WILL GIVE HER THE WORLD HONESTLY.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

  John Rumary le 27/09/2018

The Worshipful Household Artillery company guarded Royal fan club blog in honour of Sophie Rhys Jones 'Queen of Brenchley and Horsmonden Gun and Spitroast Inn' SS secret society formed 33AD to guard the throne of King of Kent Joseph of Arimethea on behalf of Jesus Christ of Nazareth for his birthday present on the 4th of April Easter Sunday 2019 when GOD will descend from heaven to launch the second coming of Jesus Christ of Palestine the King of Kent JesusMessiahZeus Gorgas Zeus head gardener of the New Jerusalem the garden of England and guardian of the Katy Apple tree of knowledge Bulmer Zeus Abbot of Bayham Abbey

http://katyperry666pute.centerblog.net

  aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 01/10/2018

POSTS TSCTUKNET 13 ARCHIVE

 DON’T LET THEM RAISE YOUR CHILDREN! (EDUCATION 2017)

   image

@taylorswift @taylorswift13love Your majesty King of the Illuminati Jesus Christ Superstar ‘GODFATHER has made you the @illuminatizeitgeist @goddesshathorswift and the statue of liberty is now the Goddess Nemesis with @selenagomezgif-blog-blog as the blue flame of the torch of liberty to light up the dark of New York welcome 2 #1 track 1989 @1989 Album of the Century share and circulate please

 love dad

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

  aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 01/10/2018

POSTS TSCTUKNET 13 ARCHIVE

 DON’T LET THEM RAISE YOUR CHILDREN! (EDUCATION 2017)

   image

@taylorswift @taylorswift13love Your majesty King of the Illuminati Jesus Christ Superstar ‘GODFATHER has made you the @illuminatizeitgeist @goddesshathorswift and the statue of liberty is now the Goddess Nemesis with @selenagomezgif-blog-blog as the blue flame of the torch of liberty to light up the dark of New York welcome 2 #1 track 1989 @1989 Album of the Century share and circulate please

 love dad

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

  aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 02/10/2018

Play Video

 Self-described feminists Emma Watson, Katy Perry, and Sophie Turner team up to engage in hardcore sex in the feminist music video above.

 After pushing around the pathetically emasculated infidel men for decades, the feminist movement in the Western world achieved complete equality of rights back in the late 1960’s. Of course being women they were not happy with equality, and wanted to keep complaining until they had every privilege in society. With the effeminate kuffar men powerless to stop them, modern feminists like Emma, Katy, and Sophie degraded the West to the point were they now can claim that being tremendous whores getting plowed by strange dick on the regular is empowering.

 Thankfully the logical conclusion of the feminist movement will be the calling for Sharia law. For once women have every conceivable freedom and are openly indulging in every imaginable vice they will realize how empty and unfulfilled their lives are, and they will demand the one and only true woman’s right… Which is of course the right to be oppressed by a powerful and virile Muslim man.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

  aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 02/10/2018

Play Video

 Self-described feminists Emma Watson, Katy Perry, and Sophie Turner team up to engage in hardcore sex in the feminist music video above.

 After pushing around the pathetically emasculated infidel men for decades, the feminist movement in the Western world achieved complete equality of rights back in the late 1960’s. Of course being women they were not happy with equality, and wanted to keep complaining until they had every privilege in society. With the effeminate kuffar men powerless to stop them, modern feminists like Emma, Katy, and Sophie degraded the West to the point where they now can claim that being tremendous whores getting plowed by strange dick on the regular is empowering.

 Thankfully the logical conclusion of the feminist movement will be the calling for Sharia law. For once women have every conceivable freedom and are openly indulging in every imaginable vice they will realize how empty and unfulfilled their lives are, and they will demand the one and only true woman’s right… Which is of course the right to be oppressed by a powerful and virile Muslim man.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

  aliceinwonderlandgags13 le 02/10/2018

Play Video

 Self-described feminists Emma Watson, Katy Perry, and Sophie Turner team up to engage in hardcore sex in the feminist music video above.

 After pushing around the pathetically emasculated infidel men for decades, the feminist movement in the Western world achieved complete equality of rights back in the late 1960’s. Of course being women they were not happy with equality, and wanted to keep complaining until they had every privilege in society. With the effeminate kuffar men powerless to stop them, modern feminists like Emma, Katy, and Sophie degraded the West to the point were they now can claim that being tremendous whores getting plowed by strange dick on the regular is empowering.

 Thankfully the logical conclusion of the feminist movement will be the calling for Sharia law. For once women have every conceivable freedom and are openly indulging in every imaginable vice they will realize how empty and unfulfilled their lives are, and they will demand the one and only true woman’s right… Which is of course the right to be oppressed by a powerful and virile Muslim man.

http://aliceinwonderlandgags13.centerblog.net

  katyperrypute666 le 02/11/2018

[Act 1 scene 222:] Enter PA to Apollo: KATHERYN ELIZABETH II HUDSON KATY PERRY III

http://katyperrypute666.centerblog.net

  fakesetcumfakes le 04/11/2018

en exclu, katy perry & britney spears sont nues ensemble ...

http://fakesetcumfakes.centerblog.net

  Anonyme le 07/12/2018

J aimerai tellement voire ca face recouverte de mon foutre.

  porntostars2 le 22/12/2018

Reviendra tu un jour ?

http://porntostars2.centerblog.net

  lescoquinesdecoquin le 27/02/2019

A quand les nouveaux articles mon ami ?

  katyperry666pute le 01/04/2019

: http://ktperry.centerblog.net/4327-Katy-Perry

http://katyperry666pute.centerblog.net

  porntostars2 le 08/04/2019

une bombe sexuelle , dommage tu a abandonner ton blog

http://porntostars2.centerblog.net

  Anonyme le 05/05/2019

branle moi katty,

  https://twitter.com/i/redirect?url=https%3A%2F%2Ftwitter.com%2Fi%2Ftopics%2Ftweet%2F1125630359905783808%3Fcn%3DZmxleGlibGVfcmVjc18y%26refsrc%3Demail&t=1+1557251470571&cn=ZmxleGlibGVfcmVjc18y&sig=2ed63432355fcf82ad97c34aaecec2dbbdff47ec&iid=b15a250476a849ada7ab77c1254521f0&uid=2903768627&nid=244+272699392

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

HOT!!! Katty Perry [Katheryn Elizabeth "Katy" Hudson]

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 7

“Wait, you're flying to New York and then straight back the next day..for a painting? Really? Come on Jay, even for a quick lay, which is probably the real reason you're going back, that's just ridiculous! No wait, it's not, I'd do the same if it was Sean, we had the most amazing night..” Shayla got lost in her daydream “Anyway,..Is she nice? Come on, you can tell me!” she plopped down next to him on the bed, patting his leg. “Oh no no, no details of you and Sean, thank you very much! And she's not a quick lay..” Jared got up but Shayla cut him off, “Ha! 'she' so it is a girl!” and clapped her hands, “oh shut the fuck up! So what if the artist is a woman? Were you born in the dark ages?” he snapped as he zipped up his bag “besides I've never seen her or spoken to her, we're only corresponding by e-mail”. Shayla cocked her head “e-mail? Really? How old is she? 70? talk about the dark ages” she huffed, rolling her eyes, “for the last time, Shayla, get your mind out of the gutter for once, this is business, now let's go see if we have a LED- wall or not, and make sure my bag gets to the airport tonight” this bubblehead really had no idea, 70? whatever! A breath of fresh air with immense talent that's what Coco was, could this day be over and done with so he could get on that plane? He had a blind date...no no no..not a blind date, just a date with someone he had never seen before, how oldskool was that? Oldskool and so refreshing in this day and age of selfies, social media and instant gratification! “Will you just focus? Fuck's sake” Harper yelled at herself, and let her brush fall in frustration, the fuck was going on? She hadn't been able to concentrate on anything all day, just step away from the painting before you fuck it up completely, call him, get it the fuck out of your system and just CALL him! Yeah, that was exactly what she was gonna do! A loud crack as she jumped off the scaffolding, maybe next time if she was lucky she would break her neck! No, nope, no wallowing, ok now what? She shuffled around the table, like she was doing some sort of rain dance, eyeing the phone with a disgust on her face, will you just do it? What are you? A woman or a mouse? Before she could think about what she was doing, the phone was against her ear, but before it rang she pulled it away again and disconnected the call..would he know? That she called? pouring herself a cup of coffee, she sat down at her table, staring at the phone that she twirled around with one hand while she sipped her coffee slowly.

From: HCDeRobanio

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: Life is no pony camp

Joe,

Are you happy, Joe? I don't mean the average 'yeah I'm ok' kind of happy, but the genuine, deeply rooted in your gut kind of happy that washes over you at least once a week when you stop and see or do something that makes you think: “I am utterly and deeply happy and content with what or who I have in my life or who I am” kind of happy? Does that feeling actually exist? Or is it just a chemical reaction in your brain, kinda like all these endorphines and what not that create a runner's high? Are you where you want to be in life, Joe? Bouddhists say that life's a journey, but I think I've missed a turn somewhere along the way, to me life is a free fall from birth till death and there are no safety nets, all you can do is hope that you stumble across people who'll break your fall, do you have people like that in your life? Who break your fall once in a while? I hope you do..

I'm sorry for all this ranting, but my trust in humankind is at an all time low (I just tried to call my Dad but I chickened out, we don't have what you could call a healthy relationship, he just cut me out of his will, well not his will, although I'm sure I'm out of that too, I've got a letter saying he's cutting me off financially while I never got any support from him, not financially and definitely not emotionally, long story, bla bla, the black sheep of the family, rebelled against everything my family stood for while my older sister is the apple of my father's eye with her 500 kids and being the perfect housewife..bleggghh not interesting at all) so I can't begin to tell you how much I look forward to meeting you..I just feel I can trust you!

Maybe I've been inhaling too many paintfumes and that's probably why I'm in this funk I'm in, so I'm gonna get something to eat and then it's off to bed and then tomorrow I'll see you! Yay!

Have a safe flight!

P.S. I'll have your painting all wrapped by tomorrow, ok?

Regards

Furious Coco

“Got everything? Your bag is on the plane, hotel is booked..so, I'll see you in a day or three, ok? Or probably sooner if she turns out to be really ugly and 70 after all” Shayla handed him his carry-on and tickets with a giggle, “whatever Shayla, just make absolutely sure I get my daily updates , alright? And keep Shannon in the loop will ya? You've got the details of the promoter too, right?” Jared tried to connect all the dots, happy thoughts on, control freak off. “Will you just go, I've got everything under control here” she sighed as Jared followed her stare and turned to see Sean standing there, grinning at her beside the car parked on the tarmac. “Just don't get too distracted, ok? I don't want to be looking for a new PA when I get back” he mumbled at her and then turned on his heels and hopped on up the steps of the private jet. 'Beep' and his heart skipped a beat, he hadn't been able to send her an answer to her last e-mail all day, but he had 8 hours to read, re-read and answer her e-mails, if anyone ever prayed for wifi on a plane then it was him right now.

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: Re: Life is no pony camp

Coco,

I'm high above the clouds right now..I'm on my way to see you..in 8 to 10 hours or so..excited much? I sure am!

Ah, Daddy issues (not meant in a kinky way), I don't know if I'm the one to talk about stuff like that, I mean, I grew up without my actual father (I did have and still have a wonderful father figure though) so I don't really know or have experience with these kind of issues. I just thought of something, correct me if I'm wrong, but is that older man in your painting your Dad? I think I understand the ripped out heart and the sown up lips now..

I'll say this one thing though: your Dad is a real wanker if he cuts off his own flesh and blood, why don't you discuss this with me in detail tomorrow?

Ha no, I'm not the CEO of M&M's, I am the CEO of a couple of companies that are completely built around my dreams, and it's exactly those dreams that take me around the world. So yeah, I guess the answer to your question is that I'm a happy man, even though my job takes its' toll on my personal life..even though I'm surrounded by people almost every second of every day, I too can feel so alone in a crowd, not many people get me..except for you! I'm already dreading the day I have to fly back to Europe even if I haven't met you yet..

Listen to me, you're not a sheep, you're not a pony, you're totally unique! And on that thought I'm going to sleep away the couple of hours that seperate us so I'm not jetlagged out of my head in the city that never sleeps, which I hope you're doing too right now and sweet dreams are chasing those angry cobwebs in your head away.

Regards

Joe

Jared 1 – Shayla 0! 70? where did that silly assistant of his get those ideas from? Coco was young enough to still have a father, and old enough to have her own career and be his peer, but what had struck him was that rebellious streak he loved so much, a 'go-against-the-grain' kinda girl/woman, just the way he liked them! E-mail sent, goodnight Europe! Hello New York in a couple of hours, but first sleep, so he was on top of his game for when they were finally eye to eye.

This? Or maybe that top on those oversized pants with the camouflage print? Wait, what about a dress? Really? When you haven't worn one in years? Why conform to something as ridiculous as society's opinion on what women were supposed to wear? She put the dress back on the rack, today was all about being herself, feeling comfortable in what she wore was of the essence on this day where things were more than likely going to be awkward. What time was it? 1PM, time for a shower, get dressed and get on her way. The wheels of the plane finally connected with the tarmac, New York was dreary and windy, great, hoodie weather was his favorite season anyway, everybody dressed better as soon as the temperature dropped, there simply was more mistery, more to guess instead of more too see. What time was it? The screen of his phone remained dark, what?..no, no way, no more juice, fuck!. “The Bowery Hotel, please” he mumbled at the driver as he hopped in the waiting car, 2 o'clock, alright, time enough to charge this frikking phone and take a shower. Battledress pants, her sturdy Dr. Martens on her feet, a band T-shirt, hoodie and her leather bikerjacket, she looked at her reflection in the window of the moving train, all the paint neatly scrubbed away, except for the eyeliner, bright red lipstick and her nails painted black, her signature colour. 'Times Square Station', right, she got up and stepped off the train right in the hussle and bussle of the subway station, up the stairs where New York was raging. Rain, nice, she quickly pulled her hoodie up as she checked the time, 3PM, alright, more than enough time for a coffee to calm her rattling nerves. Within an hour, it was all gonna happen, what was she gonna say when he arrived? 'Hi, I'm Coco', “Hi, I'm Harper Coco', no Coco was better, 'nice to meet you', 'so we finally meet', she caught herself rehearsing her introduction, and giggled at her own silliness as she walked inside Starbucks.

[frontproofmedia]

Vasiliy Lomachenko to Face Unbeaten Contender Jamaine Ortiz

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Published: September 13, 2022

NEW YORK — Ukraine’s former pound-for-pound king, the man known as “Loma,” is back. Vasiliy Lomachenko, a three-weight world champion, will make his triumphant New York City return in the 12-round main event Saturday, October 29, against undefeated contender Jamaine “The Technician” Ortiz at Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden. The 10-round featherweight co-feature sees two-time Cuban Olympic gold medalist Robeisy “El Tren” Ramirez attempt to author a career-best win against former world champion Jessie Magdaleno. U.S. Olympic silver medalist Richard Torrez Jr. (3-0, 3 KOs), who is coming off a 44-second knockout over Marco Antonio Canedo in August, looks to make it 4-0 in a six-round heavyweight special feature. Lomachenko-Ortiz, Ramirez-Magdaleno, and Torrez Jr. headline a card that will stream live and exclusively on ESPN+. Promoted by Top Rank, tickets starting at $56 go on sale Thursday, September 15 at 12 p.m. ET and will be available to purchase at Ticketmaster.com. Lomachenko was set to fight then-unified lightweight champion George Kambosos Jr. earlier this year, but when Russia invaded Ukraine, he put his boxing career on hold to join a territorial defense battalion in his homeland. “Vasiliy Lomachenko is a credit to his country and the sport of boxing,” said Top Rank chairman Bob Arum. “When his country needed him, Vasiliy did not hesitate. We are thrilled that he is safe and fighting once again at Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden, his home away from home. Jamaine Ortiz is a young, hungry, undefeated fighter who understands that a victory over a living legend like Loma would be life-changing.” Lomachenko (16-2, 11 KOs) has a résumé that is unmatched in modern boxing. A two-time Olympic gold medalist for Ukraine, he had a 396-1 amateur record, won a world title in his third pro fight, and became a three-weight world champion in his 12th bout. Lomachenko unified three of the four lightweight titles before a loss to Teofimo Lopez in October 2020 derailed his quest for undisputed supremacy. Last year, he came back with one-sided victories over Masayoshi Nakatani and Richard Commey. Lomachenko is 5-0 at Madison Square Garden Entertainment’s venues, including the win over Commey and his one-sided drubbing over fellow two-time Olympic gold medalist Guillermo Rigondeaux. He arrived in Southern California last month to resume his career and work towards his goal of capturing the undisputed lightweight title, which is currently held by Devin “The Dream” Haney. Lomachenko said, “I love my sport, and I am so glad to be back. My goal is to win the undisputed lightweight title, but I will not take Jamaine Ortiz lightly. Madison Square Garden and Hulu Theater at MSG have been special places in my career, and I look forward to making more great memories on October 29. I want to dedicate this fight to all my Ukrainian people. I wear the flag proudly every time I step in the ring.” Ortiz (16-0-1, 8 KOs), from Worcester, Massachusetts, enters this bout hoping to stun another former world champion on the comeback trail. He last fought May 21 in Las Vegas, wearing down Jamel “Semper Fi” Herring down the stretch to earn a 10-round unanimous decision. Ortiz is a six-year pro who plied his trade on the New England club scene. Three months before the Herring triumph, Ortiz won the NABF lightweight strap with a clear decision win over Nahir Albright. Ortiz made his Top Rank on ESPN debut in April 2021 with an eight-draw against Joseph Adorno, surviving a pair of knockdowns in one of the year’s best action battles. Ortiz said, "I'm excited about this fight. Vasiliy Lomachenko is a great fighter, but I'm here to win. Once I win this fight, I'm targeting a world title opportunity. This is a dream come true." Ramirez (10-1, 6 KOs), from Cienfuegos, Cuba, starred at the 2012 London Olympics alongside Lomachenko. He won the first of his gold medals, while Lomachenko dominantly captured gold medal number two. Ramirez ruled the amateur ranks for another six years before defecting from Cuba. After a stunning loss in his 2019 professional debut against Adan Gonzales, Ramirez has been flawless during a 10-fight winning streak that has seen him avenge the Gonzales loss and crack the top 15 of all four major sanctioning organizations. He authored his most notable victory to date in June at Hulu Theater at MSG, knocking out the previously undefeated Abraham Nova with a left hand in the fifth round. That one-shot knockout propelled Ramirez into the title conversation, and he hopes to get that shot before long. But, first, a former world champion stands in his way. Ramirez said, “It is great to be back at the iconic Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden. I am particularly excited to do so as co-main event of the evening that marks the return of the great Vasiliy Lomachenko, whom I admire and consider one of the greatest talents of all time. It’s rare to have two two-time Olympic gold medalists on the same card, and it is an honor for me. As far as Magdaleno is concerned, he represents an important challenge as he is an excellent boxer, a southpaw, and a former world champion.” Magdaleno (29-1, 18 KOs) ascended to the top of the junior featherweight division in November 2016 with his decision victory over Nonito Donaire. His title reign ended at the hands of Isaac Dogboe in April 2018, but he is 4-0 since losing to Dogboe and subsequently moving up to featherweight. He shook off an extended layoff in May to shut out Edy Valencia over eight rounds. A native of Las Vegas who has showcased his talents at many of the city’s most storied venues, Magdaleno will be making his New York City debut against a recently unstoppable train. Magdaleno said, “I am coming to shock the boxing world. I know what a victory would mean for my career. My goal is to become a two-time world champion, and Robeisy Ramirez is in my way. Just know that I am ready.” In addition to Torrez, three of his Olympic teammates from Tokyo will see action under the lights. Tiger Johnson (5-0, 4 KOs) makes his New York City debut in a six-round junior welterweight bout, featherweight silver medalist Duke Ragan (7-0, 1 KO) steps up in his first scheduled eight-rounder, and Troy Isley (7-0, 4 KOs) tests the junior middleweight waters in an eight-rounder. Cleveland-born lightweight sensation Abdullah Mason (4-0, 3 KOs) will fight in his first six-rounder, while junior lightweight Haven Brady Jr. (7-0, 4 KOs) makes his division debut in an eight-rounder.

[loadfinger140]

Jeff Bezos Old Pictures

Amazon’s chief Jeff Bezos is the first person with a net worth surpassing $150 billion in the 3 decades that Forbes has tracked the richest people around the world. Here is Jeff Bezos Then And Now photos to show you the amazing transformation of Jeff Bezos. Bezos is now the richest man in modern history on an inflation-adjusted basis.

Jeff Bezos With Hair Images

Jeff Bezos Old Images

Jeff Bezos Old Pictures

Jeff Bezos Children Photos

Emma Mcintyre/Getty Images

By/April 10, 2020 4:08 pm EDT/Updated: April 10, 2020 4:08 pm EDT

2.8m Followers, 0 Following, 166 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Jeff Bezos (@jeffbezos).

Browse 3,460 jeff bezos stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. Showing Editorial results for jeff bezos.

Have you heard of Jeff Bezos? What about a little company called Amazon? The founder and CEO of the online retail Goliath is the richest man in the world as of 2020, according to Forbes. But the saying goes that behind every great man is a great woman, and in this case that's his former wife MacKenzie Bezos. The two were married for 25 years — from the early days before Amazon even existed — until the pair publicly divorced in 2019.

Throughout the years, MacKenzie has given only a few interviews, despite her husband's notoriety. A self-professed wallflower, she told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 'I am not a natural for big groups because I am such an introvert.' After the Bezos' split, MacKenzie's already almost non-existent online presence shrank even further. But that's easy to do when yo have the right resources — which she does thanks to a jaw-dropping divorce settlement.

Intrigued? Keep reading for all of the details we could uncover about Jeff Bezos' ex-wife MacKenzie Bezos.

MacKenzie Bezos' true passion

MacKenzie Bezos' is first and foremost an author. She attended Princeton University, where she earned her degree in English, and worked with famous American author Toni Morrison as a research assistant, according to Forbes. After graduation, writing didn't come so easily. 'There was so much trial and error and learning to trust yourself,' Bezos told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer of the writing process, adding, 'I did try to work on it eight hours a day, although there were times when I couldn't.' It was only 'fear and shame' the propelled Bezos to complete her debut novel, The Testing of Luther Albright. 'It took eight years, although there were kids in there with a little maternity leave,' she said. 'And it did feel like an awfully long time. There were so many different books on the way to this book — I probably did three or four complete rewrites.'

After the release in 2005, she got to work on the follow up. Staying consistent, Bezos released her second novel, Traps, in 2013. Ironically, Bezos went with traditional publishing houses — HarperCollins and Knopf Doubleday — for her two novels despite her husband's own publishing companies under the Amazon umbrella. According to The New York Times, 'When asked by an interviewer why Ms. Bezos wasn't publishing her books through Amazon's fiction imprints, Mr. Bezos jokingly described his wife as 'the fish that got away.'

MacKenzie Bezos took the pledge

Throughout her career, MacKenzie Bezos donated to various charitable causes. Per The New York Times, 'The Bezoses' charitable contributions have been modest in the past. In 2011, they donated $15 million to their alma mater to create a center to study the brain. The following year, they gave $2.5 million to support a same-sex marriage referendum in Washington' — their home state and location of Amazon's headquarters. A few years later, Bezos used her influence to fight back against bullies. 'In 2014, she founded Bystander Revolution, an anti-bullying organization,' according to her Forbes profile. The organization consists of tips, testimonials, and video campaigns featuring celebrities like Melissa Joan Hart and Jared Leto, before his uncomfortable interviews later on.

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Despite all the hardship that goes along with divorce, Bezos still found the generosity to give back to the world. In 2019, 'shortly after she announced the terms of the divorce on Twitter, she signed the Giving Pledge,' according to Forbes. This group consists of the wealthiest individuals in the world who have all promised to donate 'the majority of their wealth' to charity. Some of the most famous members are Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates and his equally impressive wife Melinda Gates. 'My approach to philanthropy will continue to be thoughtful. It will take time and effort and care,' Bezos said in her Giving Pledge profile. 'But I won't wait. And I will keep at it until the safe is empty.'

The Bezos' were just your everyday, next-door billionaires

In addition to all the writing and life as a billionaire, MacKenzie Bezos is a mom to four children. Residents of 'a $10 million mansion in Medina, Wash.' since 1999, the Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie also started their family that year. 'As they rapidly accumulated wealth, the Bezos family took pains to preserve the trappings of normalcy,' per The New York Times. According to author Brad Stone, via the article, 'Ms. Bezos often drove the four children to school in a Honda, and would then drop Mr. Bezos at the office.' That office, of course, is Amazon headquarters. Can you imagine Jeff getting out at the curb with a briefcase and bag lunch in tow?

Life at home for billionaire parents must come with many unique challenges. But according to MacKenzie, she said there was plenty of positivity in the mansion. 'All of our kids are big laughers, as you would expect with a goofy dad like that,' she told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. 'There is a lot of laughter in our household,' she added. MacKenzie also appears to deeply care about providing the most for her children. Speaking with The New York Times, ex-husband Jeff shared one of MacKenzie's go-to mottos: 'I would much rather have a kid with nine fingers than a resourceless kid,' reported The New York Times.

How MacKenzie Bezos met Jeff Bezos

MacKenzie Bezos met her future husband and later billionaire Jeff Bezos at their place of work. According to Forbes, the pair first crossed paths in 1992 'when they both worked at hedge fund D.E. Shaw' in New York City. She actually interviewed with Jeff and he offered her a job, although she took a job in another department. Eclipse java jdk 64 bit. 'But then as luck would have it, (I) got assigned an office right next door to his. And through the walls I would hear him laughing that giant laugh, all day long. And it was totally love at first listen,' she revealed in an interview with Charlie Rose.

The pair instantly connected. 'Within three months of dating, the two were engaged; they married shortly thereafter at a resort in West Palm Beach, Fla. Mr. Bezos was 30; Ms. Bezos was 23,' reported The New York Times. The newlyweds packed up everything and moved to Seattle, Wash. the following year in 1994. And what about Jeff's side of the story? 'I think my wife is resourceful, smart, brainy, and hot, but I had the good fortune of having seen her résumé before I met her, so I knew exactly what her SATs were,' he told Vogue in an interview. But good luck getting those scores. 'I'll never tell,' he confessed.

Life before the high profile

Long before attending college and marrying a future billionaire, MacKenzie Bezos (née Tuttle) was just a normal kid. She 'grew up in San Francisco, a middle child with two siblings' (via Forbes), with a 'father who was a financial planner and a mother who cheerfully stayed home to cook meals and decorate the house,' according to Vogue. The magazine elaborated that Bezos 'was bookish and shy, the kind of girl who would spend hours alone in her bedroom writing elaborate stories.' And these elaborate stories were no small task. According to her Amazon author profile, Bezos 'wrote her first book when she was six years old, a 142-page chapter book entitled The Book Worm.' Sadly, 'the sole handwritten copy was reduced to a soup of pulp' after a flood in her childhood home. Bezos elaborated about the incident in an interview with Charlie Rose. 'I learned my lesson and I was .. really good at backing up my work in college and I never lost anything again.'

According to Forbes, Bezos' parents 'sent her to Hotchkiss, the Connecticut boarding school, where she graduated a year early.' After, she first 'studied at Cambridge, then Princeton, where she majored in English.' One of her English professors at Princeton, Jeff Nunokawa, remembers that Bezos 'was generally a very poised and a quiet and brilliant presence.' Somehow, an English degree led to a job at a hedge fund, where she would meet the man that would completely change her life.

Amazon comments, by MacKenzie Bezos

Though she runs an anti-bullying organization — Bystander Revolution — it doesn't mean MacKenzie Bezos stood quietly by if someone trashed her husband. On Bezos' Amazon reviewer profile, she has only three book reviews. Two are from 2001, well before she published her own books. And a review from 2013 questions the content in the book The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon by Brad Stone. 'Everywhere I can fact check from personal knowledge, I find way too many inaccuracies, and unfortunately that casts doubt over every episode in the book,' she said as part of her one-star review. It's hard to question her criticism, when she claimed 'I have firsthand knowledge of many of the events.' She added, in summary, 'Ideally, authors are careful to ensure people know whether what they are reading is history or an entertaining fictionalization.' Best nation in war thunder 2.

Jeff Bezos With Hair Images

Though according to Stone 'most of the readers and reviewers have been inspired by Amazon's story,' he still felt obliged to respond, he said in an interview for The New York Times. 'To me, it's not an unflattering account,' he added. Stone also penned an article for Bloomberg News, because even though he said, 'negative feedback happens all the time' for books — the weight of a review from MacKenzie prompted his defense. 'Mrs. Bezos mostly took me to task for what she perceived were subtle biases in my story. I'll own up to that.'

Jeff Bezos Old Images

The multi-billion dollar divorce

Only nine days into 2019, Jeff Bezos posted on his twitter account a statement signed by him and his wife, MacKenzie Bezos. 'We have decided to divorce and continue our shared lives as friends,' the pair said. Immediately, the world began discussing this unprecedented split. As The New York Times noted, 'there has never been a divorce with a couple worth an estimated $137 billion, as Mr. and Ms. Bezos are.' What would happen to all that money? The Times also noted that 'the Bezoses' primary residence and business are in Washington State, a community property state where any income earned or wealth created during the marriage is to be divided equitably between spouses.'

MacKenzie provided insight into the arrangements in her only Twitter post ever. 'Grateful to have finished the process of dissolving my marriage with Jeff,' she wrote in a statement posted on April 4, 2019. The author shared that she gave Jeff 'all of my interests in the Washington Post' along with a big portion of her Amazon stake. But even with her remaining shares, MacKenzie landed a big pay day with the split. 'The couple finalized their divorce in July, with MacKenzie getting 25% of his Amazon stock,' Forbes reported in October 2019. At the time, the equalled $36.1 billion. Even with that absurd amount of money, some felt it was still too low. 'She should have gotten 50% of the company,' since 'MacKenzie was an equal partner to Jeff in the early days,' claimed Nick Hanauer, an initial investor in Amazon.

MacKenzie Bezos learned a lot about life in college

MacKenzie Bezos obviously wasn't born a multi-billionaire. In fact, this mom and established author worked hard through school, which led her to an ivy league education, and a pivotal role in building one of the biggest companies in the history of the world. Naturally, she faced difficulties along the way. As she explained to Charlie Rose, for all those challenges, whether seemingly big or small, people 'can look at them and say 'Ugh, this is a setback,' or you can know, 'This might be an opportunity. Where's this going to take me? What am I going to be grateful for? What's great about this problem?'

The author talked about her struggles and worries when applying to universities. 'I went off to college knowing I was going to have to work a variety of jobs to put myself through school. Maybe 30 hours a week on top of my course load,' she revealed to the host. After Princeton accepted the young woman, Bezos remembered thinking, 'I hope that I can juggle these jobs and still get the most out of my education.' Things fortunately worked out for the best. 'What turned out to happen is that the jobs and the juggling were half the education I got,' she told Rose, adding that, in the end, putting in the extra work really wasn't 'a setback,' but rather, 'an opportunity.'

Home sweet homes

Where would you live if you were one of the richest people in the world? Clearly, MacKenzie and Jeff Bezos reached a point during their long marriage where they could afford to live literally wherever they wanted. But before Amazon became one of the biggest companies in the world, the couple lived in simple accommodations after making the move to Washington state. Back in 1999, Wired reported that 'MacKenzie and Jeff, who've lived till now in a one-bedroom rental in downtown Seattle, also recently went shopping for a house, spending a reported $10 million for a rustic mansion alongside Lake Washington in a neighborhood littered with Microsoft millionaires.'

With a shared mansion, MacKenzie still couldn't find the space and peace of mind to work on her main career, writing novels. In 2013, Vogue reported that 'to make sure she gets in a full, undistracted day of writing, Bezos rents a one-bedroom apartment close to her family home.' Of course, her duties as a mom still came first. The article claimed 'when the school day ends, she is the one who picks the kids up and drops them off in her Honda minivan, the quintessential Mom-mobile.'

The famous mentor of MacKenzie Bezos

When choosing colleges to pursue a major in English, MacKenzie Bezos decided on Princeton University, in part for the famous author working on the staff. That was the late Toni Morrison, author of Song of Solomon and Beloved, who went on to win the 1993 Nobel Prize in Literature, which made her the first African-American woman to earn the honor, via The New York Times. Speaking about Morrison in an interview with Charlie Rose, Bezos said, 'Yes. It was a huge opportunity for me. I had always loved her work and you could take courses with her freshman year.' The two worked with each other throughout Bezos' education, and Morrison 'ended up being (Bezos') thesis advisor.' Bezos added, '(Morrison) was an amazingly supportive teacher, really good at bringing out the best and guiding you through that process, and very supportive after I left school, too.'

The Nobel laureate also spoke highly of her former student, calling Bezos 'one of the best students I've ever had in my creative-writing classes .. really one of the best,' reported Vogue. The magazine also revealed that Morrison connected Bezos to Amanda 'Binky' Urban, who became her literary agent. Morrison also wrote the cover review for Bezos' first novel, The Testing of Luther Albright, which she called 'a rarity: a sophisticated novel that breaks and swells the heart' (via The New York Times).

How exactly did MacKenzie Bezos help create Amazon?

Yes, Jeff Bezos is the founder and CEO of Amazon, but his ex-wife, MacKenzie Bezos played a big part in the development back when the company was a humble startup. According to The New York Times, 'She was an integral part of its origin story, driving to Seattle in 1994 while Mr. Bezos sat in the passenger seat, working on the nascent company's business plan,' The outlet also claimed she was the company's first accountant, and via an excerpt Brad Stone's The Everything Store: Jeff Bezos and the Age of Amazon, also noted that 'she helped brainstorm names for the company and even shipped early orders through UPS.'

In what Wired described as 'delicious irony,' MacKenzie and Jeff started building Amazon inside of a Barnes & Noble. You remember, that giant brick-and-mortar book retailer that was nearly driven out of existence by Amazon? Anyway, according to the tech outlet, '(Barnes & Noble) also served as a venue for business meetings with outsiders. MacKenzie Bezos even negotiated the company's first freight contracts there.' An early employee at Amazon, Tod Nelson, told Forbes that MacKenzie played a vital role in the start of the e-commerce platform. 'No one really had job titles .. so she did just about everything,' he claimed.

Billions on top of billions in net worth

Jeff Bezos Old Pictures

MacKenzie Bezos didn't marry a billionaire — she helped make one out of Jeff Bezos. She played an integral part in the early days of Amazon, became a mother of four, and published two novels along the way. When the pair divorced, 'she received 4% of the Amazon stake' so according to Forbes, MacKenzie was worth around $40 billion as of April 2020. Although she 'sold, gifted or transferred about $350 million worth of Amazon shares, equivalent to 1% of her Amazon stock,' Forbes reported, she is still one of the wealthiest women in the world.

What would you do with all that money? As the Bezoses' wealth accumulated, she and Jeff found creative ways to spend some money for quality fun time with the whole family. As Wired revealed, by 1999 life was already starting to get good. 'Jeff and MacKenzie's Christmas gift to everyone a year ago was laser-tag guns and vests, which, combined with the walkie-talkies his parents offered up, served as weapons in a nighttime game of laser-enhanced Capture the Flag on Amelia Island,' the enchanting spot off the Florida coast. And according to Jeff's mother, he had an unfair advantage with 'a pair of night-vision goggles MacKenzie had given him.'

Jeff Bezos Children Photos

Okay, admittedly laster tag doesn't really put into perspective exactly how well-off the Bezos truly are, so how's this? In 2017 and 2018, Jeff reportedly earned $8,961,187 — per hour.