#this man has a way with words
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GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY, THE NEXT BOOK 7 UPDATE FOR THE JP SERVER IS SET FOR MARCH 1ST.
HOW WE FEELIN LADS!?!?!
AHHHHHHHH NOOO I'M NOT READY, I thought we'd be getting the fourth anniversary first and then Sebek's birthday and then maybe some more episode 7, I didn't -- I didn't think it'd be Friday --
oh god and they're rerunning the story cards, they didn't say this was the final part but it feels like...maybe the penultimate chapter? could the end of episode 7 finally be looming in the distance?! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
#art#twisted wonderland#gif warning#gifs that accurately represent the inside of idia's brain whenever he has to have a social interaction#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#THE SHROUDS ARE BACK IN TOWN BABY#time to find out how the heck ortho managed to hack(?) his way into the dreamscape(????) via a couple of robot dogs(????????)#a-are they going to show us dream!ortho#i don't know if i want that or not. i mean i do but DO I?#(chanting softly) ortho fight ortho fight ORTHO FIGHT --#okay no we're cool we're all cool here#preparing mentally to get exactly zero answers to any of my burning questions#(i kind of suspect anything involving crowley-and-possibly-revaan is going to wait until the presumed episode 8....)#(FEEL FREE TO PROVE ME WRONG THOUGH TWST)#man i just want someone to say the words silver vanrouge at some point#60/40 on whether or not i think it'll actually happen but i want this for my BOY#HE DESERVES IT#he's been through so much just let him have this#...there is something a little bit hilarious about sebek's birthday coming AFTER a big episode 7 drop though#we're gonna be in the middle of like. sebek manfully clasping silver's arm and monologuing about how they are brothers in soul or whatever#and smash cut straight into sebek in a sparkly silver bowtie screaming at a picture of goofy falling down a toilet#my kingdom hearts brethren...i am beginning to Understand
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I want someone to write songs about me the way Hozier writes songs
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having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????
#listen I was forged in the fires of garrusmancing. I went through two whole games just to get a gentle headbutt and some tender words#before me3 comes along and rewards you for your tenacity more fully#me? the reyes romancer???? I have the strength and headcanon game to bear the relative lack of content before the end#when the endgame is this good I am willing to hold out for it haha the way he looks at rook towards the end......#I also really liked taash' (it's really sweet) but I don't think I have any rooks ready to go right now who would go for that vibe#emmrich for sure is going to be my either crow or shadow dragon romance it really is very good! and extremely goth not unrelatedly#undeniably that old man has the most game out of anyone in this story. the move with the flower??? I'm sorry????#I actually like that lucanis' romance blooms out of the safety of an established friendship more than anything (again. avowed garrusmancer)#but emmrich... he's got some next level romantic stuff going on and is being both so wholesome and such a freak about it lmao#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#all jokes aside I totally respect and understand that people are a bit disappointed and frustrated -- they're not wrong to feel that!#there really are some gaps in content there for the midgame#however I was personally custom built by experience to get the most out of this scenario as possible and by god I will#just as I feel that ryder and reyes go off and have some soul-shrivingly good sex after the first kiss#(it makes that arc make a lot more sense to me haha)#I think rook and lucanis Get Up To It after the second coffee date. weird of them to not show us that but okay I'll fill it in myself then
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Listen, I'm not here to dictate how you should interpret Dottore's character, I'm really not; but the one misconception about him that really kills me is the idea that he's a "sadist who experiments on people for fun". Where in the world did people even get that from?
Here's the truth: Dottore experiments on people because he thinks he should. Because, if experimenting on someone will get him the results he desires in his endless pursuit of knowledge, then he will not think twice before going through with the experiment regardless of how cruel it is. Tighnari, while recounting his conversation with Dottore, says, "he never came off as malicious, but an utter lack of compassion permeated throughout our conversation". That's who Dottore is - someone lacking compassion for people, someone who sees himself as greater than the others (whilst also seeking recognition in his homeland, but that's a separate can of worms that I'm not opening today). Dottore won't think twice about how his subjects feel because he does not care; there is no pity nor excitement, only a need for results, answers. So... the next time someone says he's a sadist, just keep this in mind: he's literally not.
#it's a needless rant but this has been on my mind for ages#it's one thing when haters misinterpret him but his own fans? guys. guys guys guys#we can't be into the man who's all about knowledge whilst being clueless ourselves#do it for him! see what he's really all about#but aside from that: everyone is free to enjoy a character in any way they desire. don't let my words stop you from making fun hcs about hi#or anything else for that matter#with that said: i'm off#dottore#il dottore#genshin impact
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(loosely) that scene from potc... its so Them i think...
#apologies for the low quality scribbles i simply couldn't be fucked!! <3<3<3#and they're a lil funky.... i havent drawn em in a while....#but geez. man. oof. ough#the potential of the pining + Names ouagshashjafkanvfla#THE RITUALS ARE INTRICATE#scribble salad#franklydear#welcome home#ever since finding out how they call each other by last names my brain has been Mush over that#the layers!!! the potential for development!!!#what would the transition to first-name-usage look like#i feel like they're gonna be on first name basis Before they actually refer to each other by their first names#and maybe frank will call him eddie first.... maybe....#leaving eddie to be the one maintaining a sort of 'professional' distance#but in the process making their interactions Way more intimate and emotionally Charged than they would've been otherwise#its about the suspense... about the 'am i allowed to know what your name feels like'....#the 'i want nothing more than to know what my name sounds like in your voice'#receiving your mail and waiting for the time he finally allows that little distance to be closed with one simple syllable#or delivering the mail and waiting for him to open both doors w/ hand & name#both an allowance and a confirmation and an answer and a promise wrapped up in one little word#Im Just Speculating & Rambling at this point#OUGH FRANKLYDEAR <3<3<3<3#i cant wait to watch them really go Through the Horrors while falling in love#bc when nothing is real or certain what else can you cling to but each other#so abnormal about them....#wh has opened my eyes to the inherent romanticism & pain of mail carriers#they will always come to your door but they will also always leave#and the gifts they give you are always from someone Else#all you can hope for are those Moments where your fingers brush as they hand over letters#where the only true words between you are the ones hidden away in ink and belonging to neither of you
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can��#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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The reason I keep banging the Jiang Fengmian drum so hard is not that he did nothing wrong--he's definitely in contention for best parenting in this book but that bar is in the ground--but because most of the takes I see about him are so extremely bad.
If you want to slag him off for trying to make choices that would hurt no one, and winding up properly protecting no one as a result, that's valid! That's an interesting and text-based critique, which opens into his parallels with Lan Xichen!
If you want to blame him for being weirdly over-invested in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being bffs, that's fair, that definitely contributed to the weirdness between them. If you want to say he was a poor communicator, that he fundamentally misunderstood his son, that he failed to be emotionally available in a way his kids could get much use out of, even that he should have figured out a way to stop Yu Ziyuan from creating such a hostile environment, all of that is fair game!
If you want to tackle how the worst thing he did to his kids was die I am so interested in how Wei Wuxian went on to abandon A-Yuan by going to his death, and how that might be tied to how his primary adult role model tied him to a boat and went off to a fight he knew he was going to lose.
After his parents had already left him like that once before, presumably less intentionally.
But no, instead I keep seeing that Jiang Fengmian didn't care. That he never expressed affection. That he actively participated in Yu Ziyuan's fucky game of forcing proxy conflict onto the boys instead of constantly trying (and failing) to shut it down, or that he ignored her bad behavior because it didn't affect him, or that he fought with her constantly, or that he was too much of an unmanly coward to stand up to her when she wanted something.
All of which are directly in contradiction to every scene he's in, and several of which manage to invert or erase the actual conflicts between him and his wife that were the source of all that tension.
And which are really interesting, because some of the most intractable elements are ideological--Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally a conservative and Jiang Fengmian seems to want to be an egalitarian, which ofc matched poorly with his hereditary authority as patriarch of a large sect.
The fact that the bit where we get to actually see him failing to parent Jiang Cheng consists of him gently and firmly trying to correct Jiang Cheng's ethics when what was actually needed in that moment was reassurance for the well-founded insecurities that were causing him to be a little bitch, only for Yu Ziyuan to charge in and make everything fifty times worse, is so much more interesting than literally any version of this family dynamic I have seen in fic. It's to the point I'm relieved when writers kill Jiang Fengmian off, because it means they probably won't feel the need to character-assassinate him too badly.
The number of people I've seen come right out and say some variation of 'men can't be abused' is killing me here. No, Yu Ziyuan wanting to hurt her husband does not constitute sufficient proof that he abused her first and deserved it! That's not how anything works!
#hoc est meum#a lot of this is people projecting cliches and daddy issues and gender shit onto cql#where jfm's characterization mostly didn't make the jump#but still it's like#wtf man#why are we taking yu ziyuan's word about fault at face value#when the fact that she talks a lot of bullshit is so firmly established?#you don't have to Let Him Off his own mistakes for the challenge factor of being married to an abuser if you don't want#but can we stop victim-blaming the guy for ten minutes???#mdzs#meta#jiang fengmian#spousal abuse#characterization#sometimes fanon is Worse#a very annoying part of this is it means really good jiang cheng pov that gets into his issues is super thin on the ground#because no one wants to wrestle with the complex layers of how he felt like his dad didn't love him#or at least not the way he needed to be loved#how he's sort of aware he's bringing his mother's interpretation to things#and that she wasn't entirely right BUT#how he has this deep dreadful certainty that in the most fundamental way she was entirely correct: that jiang cheng was just like her#selfish and violent and unable to manage his own emotions at all#and therefore didn't deserve to be loved#which yu ziyuan so clearly and tragically believed about herself and thus made true
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I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#idk man- i just see a lot of “Lan Wangji has always been protecting Wei Wuxian” posts and its like...#I mean... Lan Wangji has always certainly been trying to protect Wei Wuxian#it took him a long time to figure how to successfully do that though#rereading the books rn and noticing theres a lot of instances that could be read as lwj being frustrated over his inability to protect wwx#like he seemed ready to cry when wwx went missing for a while and then came back with the cursed leg#lwj has always been great at protecting wwx from physical threats (ex: waterborn abyss) but had no idea how to protect him from himself#meanwhile wwx has always been instictually good at saving lwj from both#like I'm 100% lwj would've become like Jiang Cheng if wwx hadn't snapped him out of the blindly following authority thing#and also like... 15 y/o lwj wasnt happy with his life. he was lonely and stressed and literally signing up to be flogged whenever he goofed#wwx is who allowed lwj to grow up by showing him what it was like to actually be a kid (shown in story whenever lwj gets drunk)#he led lwj to having a more flexible mindset. and it both let lwj relax and set lwj up to be a better parent#looking into lwj's dynamic with the juniors- he lets them break a fuck ton of the petty rules and encourages them to question authority#he also teaches them to not be married to any one meathod of problem solving#wwx is also able to save lwj from his own stubbornness#ex: carrying lwj when he broke his leg. getting lwj to cough up bad blood. getting lwj to keep the rabbits#wwx also tends to give lwj the words he has trouble saying himself. helps him communicate#wwx also protects lwj in fights a lot but thats narratively less important#except the various times wwx puts himself in danger to help lwj. those times are what made it so lwj could never move on from wwx#like with the cave incident#or when wwx helped surpress the arm instead of using the chaos to escape cloud recesses#tldr i guess: i think this fandom tends to treat lwj being the best like its natural to him when really wwx accidentaly rewired his brain#I'm looking directly at fanfic writers who act like the Lans would've treated wwx better than the Jiangs#lwj had to do so much work and self reflection post meeting wwx to be the way he is. he is not the sole product of the Lan teachings
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Shockingly underrated thing about Leo is that he’s legitimately charming when he wants to be?
He’s the Faceman! He’s persuasive! That’s not just some random title he gave himself with no backing to it. People will listen to him. Even if they think he’s being annoying or if they’re upset at him, people listen to him anyway! There’s a reason his bros push him out front to talk to people, and when this happens, that talking nearly always works.
Moreover, Leo knows people. He looks at them and takes into account how they act and what they’re like as he makes his way through the conversations. It’s easy to forget this aspect of Leo’s character because he only brings it out when he really needs (read: wants) to, but it really is a notable part of him that always love to see.
And I say charm in particular because he has a knack for not only getting people to pay attention, but for getting people to stay and listen to what he has to say.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#I feel like people equate Leo to a lot of loud gross boy behavior instead of looking at his actual accomplishments#which fair enough#he IS a loud gross boy a lot of the time#but his charisma really deserves a mention for how much it comes in clutch#that one cut animatic of the other people in the resistance wanting Leo to join them for karaoke like#and yes those inspiring speeches he gives his fam are also an example of charm#bro has! charisma! he can have his loser moments and at the same time show off how to manipulate through words#Leo knows people and if he really wants to he can talk them up#but yeah like - I see people calling him the face man a lot but not so much taking into account what that entails#he’s got a pretty face! and he’ll do the talking a lot! but that’s not all a face man is#another thing that is SHOCKINGLY underrated in fandom is Raph loving fighting???#I have no idea why but I feel like I don’t see this mentioned enough#he adores wrestling and roughhousing and training and just FIGHTING in general plz let my boy punch something#I have more I wanna say but it’ll have to wait until later it is very late haaa#anyway my main point behind this post is that Leo knows people and in turn knows what they WANT#it is this same perception that makes him REALLY GOOD at getting under people’s skin too#people skills and adaptability really make sense when you take into account the fact that he’s a red eared slider#it really is cool to see how much this part of Leo is addressed throughout the series#nearly always in very lowkey ways
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I love how supportive fit is when it comes to pac's english, it's 100% his teacher brain taking over but it's so nice to see if pac ever struggles with a word, fit'll pronounce it clearly for him and sometimes tell him more about the specifics of the word for fun. Things can sometimes come off as condescending when it comes to language corrections, but he always turns it into more of an informative moment, it's very cool :)
Same with fit asking abt portuguese words too, it was rlly nice to see pac sharing some stuff about minas gerais after helping w fit's pronunciation, I love it when ppl exchange language stuff man
#watching fit telling pac abt the origin of the word doppleganger spurred this on#this bald man will Not let pac shit talk his english levels#pac's english is incredibly good#good shit#and the way fit has just adopted some portuguese words into his streams#pactw#fitmc
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#not lasting more than 3 seconds MAX#that man has a way with words fr#george pls make new music#the greatest post beatles album of all times#I'm sorry RAM but it's true#the beatles#george harrison#paul mccartney#john lennon#ringo starr#beatles#all things must pass#wah wah is my favourite track of all time#he ate on that one#memes
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Colson Baker (aka Machine Gun Kelly) | December 2021
#colson baker#machine gun kelly#mgk#mgkedit#words of wisdom right here okay#I've never made gifs of him before... mainly because I'm not a strong enough soldier to deal with the intense hate this man gets online tbh#but this has just been sitting with me for awhile now#the way it seems like everyone (mostly online but also irl) expects other people to always be perfect#to always have the most correct and perfect opinion. or always put out the best image of themselves.#or share the most perfect version of their art#to immediately know how to properly execute a new skill#what happened to growing together and encouraging growth in others?#we shouldn't be scared to be seen TRYING#and responding to people who don't have it all figured out yet with just hate or mockery doesn't encourage growth or change#I'll stop now thank you for coming to my ted talk#my gifs#I’m gonna queue this up for a random day and forget about it I’m sure#queued post
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im not the biggest alhaitham/kaveh shipper (because im a rare pair ho) but it seems to me that in alhaitham/kaveh getting-together fics tend to be... unequal.
the beautiful thing about alhaitham and kaveh is that they're both equally right and equally wrong and equally dicks about it. but the writers for alhaitham/kaveh much more frequently seem to give alhaitham the burden change (the burden of the character flaw) instead of kaveh.
in any good character arc, the main character has a fatal flaw or misconception, and by the end of that arc they have addressed that flaw in some definitive way. scrooge was a scrooge and learned that being that way was detrimental; merlin from finding nemo was overprotective to a fault and had to learn that he couldn't (and shouldn't) control everything and to let go; the wolf from little red riding hood learns that you should stop while you're ahead.
stories centering around romance tend to lean heavily on character arcs, which makes sense. and since romance generally requires two individuals to be vulnerable and open and emotional with each other, it makes double sense that alhaitham/kaveh authors zoom straight into alhaitham's lack of emotional vulnerability.
this bothers me.
in society, individuals are expected to experience and present emotions in a specific way. if someone dies, you cry. if someone smiles at you, you smile back. if you're at a party, you're supposed to be having fun. if you don't do these things, you're seen as impolite at best and a inhuman freak at worst. when these behaviors are frequent it's often viewed as emotional immaturity, or a lack of ability to feel at all. the inability or lack of willingness to conform to societies emotional expectations of you is seen as a flaw and a reason for exclusion.
alhaitham is canonically disliked and avoided for being the way he is. he prefers it this way, but that doesn't mean the people perpetuating this avoidance are in the right. they are the societal pressure to conform that alhaitham blows off. alhaitham could be the way he is for a lot of reasons: avoidant attachment style, trauma, following someone else's example (eg. his grandmother), or just his base personality. it doesn't MATTER. he is the way he is. kaveh having to accept that should be part of the story.
putting the burden of the fatal flaw on alhaitham, making the way alhaitham treats kaveh and the people around him the problem, feels invalidating. it implies heavily that alhaitham's way of interfacing with the world, alhaitham's very SELF, is incorrect. my suggestion is to flip a larger portion of that burden onto kaveh. kaveh 👏 character 👏 arcs 👏
some examples/recommendations:
- make kaveh project his insecurities onto other people but especially onto alhaitham; he's overly reliant on other people for his own self worth, and he perceives alhaitham's lack of positive feedback as a direct reflection of how alhaitham feels about him. but learns along the way that alhaitham doesn't hate him, kaveh's actual struggle is with hating himself and being unable to his own self as worthy of love. maybe throw in how you are responsible for your own recovery, other people can help but you can't rely on them to carry you through self actualization.
- or, kaveh tries to make alhaitham behave more like a "normal" person, to be more pleasant and emotive and forthcoming, and then realizes he's in the wrong for trying to make alhaitham into something he's not, possibly for all the wrong reasons (not because he likes alhaitham better like that, but bc society says that's healthier and a better/more conforming way to be)
- or you could go ahead make alhaitham's issues the main problem but they're too complicated to overcome in a short period of time, so kaveh has to accept alhaitham is doing his best in his own way and not push for unrealistic and unhealthy changes. he could alter his own behavior to give alhaitham space and time and a safe place to land.
that got sappy so it's past time for me to dip out. go forth and ship things; but maybe consider letting alhaitham be a rude stone-faced bastard if he wants to be.
#genshin#alhaitham#kaveh#alhaitham x kaveh#kaveh x alhaitham#kavetham#haikaveh#fanfiction#fandom discussion#meta post#i finally used a readmore are you proud of me#as an avoidant attachment girlie alhaitham is my oshi#pls just allow him to not emote#let the man vibe#i feel certain there must be a real word for the concept of... socially enforced emotional conformity#unrealistic societal expectations and for your inner world which is none of their business#but i sure couldn't find it#if anyone has any words for this pls let me know it's kind of killing me#anyway#i get so mad when the avoidant attachment coded character is forced into (independently by themselves) the arc of:#i realize now that my way of interfacing with people is wrong and bad. yay! i will change that immediately for the big emotional finale#like! with what therapy!!#and why is THEIR world view the incorrect one!!#i have seen fics where it was all a big misunderstanding and actually alhaitham loves kaveh deeply#and kaveh just has to get over his insecurities and understand alhaitham's love language or whatever#and sure. good effort.#but i feel like a lot of those fics aren't very accurate to alhaitham's character#they're retrofitting alhaitham's core personality to better suit the traditional romance narrative#i also think part of the problem is that alhaitham is a pov that's divorced from regular emotionally well adjusted people#and it's difficult to understand or write povs that are drastically different from your own
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alex + looking at miles
#no words#absolutely none#these speak loud enough for themselves#(and also looking at them long enough to make this gifset has seriously impacted my cognitive capacity)#the way this man can wear a whole library of masks and personas so very expertly#but the SECOND he meets miles’s eyes everything falls away and he’s just *him*#i’m inconsolable 🥺#milex#alex turner#miles kane#tlsp#the last shadow puppets#my gifs#lulu posts
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colored some more things from my sketchbook! zelda edition this time
[id in alt!]
#loz#legend of zelda#food#specific games from left to right (more or less) are:#twilight princess#wind waker#skyward sword#ocarina of time#minish cap#it feels like i suddenly understand how to color when i do these.. i'm scheming ways to get digital art to click like this for me#but man i used to be obsessed with midna medli saria and vaati as a kid so drawing them again a decade later feels super weird#and adult me now has an additional love of telma ruto and for some reason fledge. i think his design is cute#i don't show my ocs on the internet so you're gonna have to take my word for this but#zelda actually completely sparked my love of character design! i'm still hugely inspired by the older games#plus the anthro designs from botw! i love teba very much#but fi specifically is probably my favorite character design from anything ever. she's perfect to me#fan art#my doodles#my art
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I struggle to find friends IRL and the major thing I have a hurdle with is like....connecting? Genuinely feeling something? Obviously this doesnt apply to everyone and there are people i feel comnected to but for vast majority i just feel like its surface level social etiquette.
I will go through the motions of comforting someone, of lending a hand, paying for lunch or getting them drinks, but I don't feel any emotional connection. I enjoy my time out, and I want them to like me, but somehow it just doesn't find a place to stick around within me. I move away and I don't feel any desire to talk to them again, even if I spent a significant amount of time together. I struggle with finding FRIENDS because most relationships have felt empty, even though I've always had "friends", they just feel space filler and I don't know why, because I earnestly try to connect with them, and do the things a friend would do, but it's just the motions. I don't feel anything by doing those things. I don't feel anything from their reaction, and it makes me feel horrible just even saying that lowkey.
I been thinking of how to bring this up to my psych because it's a major contributing factor to my loneliness but I also don't know how to word it.
#idk man has anyone else dealt with this#and if u have is there. a word for this.#ths more time i spent alone i also realize idk if i even want a relationship in the 'i dont want people in my house' way#i wouldnt mind it but also prefer a distance. its weird
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