#this makes me happy anyway because it's so rare to even see coding and I'm here collecting autistic ADHD and dyslexic babies like pokemons

[thecourtoflionsandwolves]

At least 50% of TVC characters are autistic and 70% are neurodivergent in general tbh

[uncannydevotion]

“ we haven't found one lipstick that's kiss proof! ”

a/n: based on tht one art meme going around iykyk anyways happy holidays, and merry christmas if u celebrate! nd happy day to everyone else! enjoy this lil gift <3 i wanted to get it out today so it might b a little rushed, and definitely shorter than i would like but i still like it so. i'm posting it.

includes: homicidal liu, eyeless jack, jason the toymaker, nina the killer, and jeff the killer.

warnings: gn!reader but it's assumed u wear lipstick, italics my beloved, so much fluff it'll make u sick, lots of kissing. is kiss even a word anymore. it's short, with varying different lengths, and it's sweet this time for real i promise.

HOMICIDAL LIU

Perhaps a bit confused when you ask him to help find some kiss proof lipsticks, but nonetheless willing to help. He just assumes you wanted to go out to a cosmetic store or something to find some.

He's very confused when you drag him over to the couch and tell him to stay put while you gather every tube of lipstick you have.

He's oblivious guys okay you're his first relationship ever how is he supposed to know you're about to smother him to death with kisses?

Liu will be a bit caught off guard when you place the first kiss on his cheek, your lips gentle, mindful of the sensitive skin surrounding his scars.

"What was that for?" He'll ask. And maybe you'll give a cheeky smile and respond with something like, "I'm just testing out my lipstick, babe."

And oh. Oh. That's what you meant when you said you wanted his help.

Liu is nothing if not the greatest boyfriend haver, so even though he gets increasingly more flustered with each kiss you press against his skin, he stays painfully still so as to not interrupt you.

Every time you pressed a kiss against his skin, he'd let out a little sigh. It was rare for him to ever really feel at ease, but it came easy with you.

Sometimes, he wonders if you truly understood the gravity of the love he felt for you.

Each kiss makes his heart race faster and faster, so much so that when you place one last kiss against his lips, he's so overwhelmed by the amount of love he holds for you that Sully thinks he's fucking dying and takes over.

Sully is very confused when he finds that Liu was, in fact, not dying. And you're certainly no help, just smiling and telling him to wash his face off as you clean up.

What.

One look in the mirror gives him the answer he was looking for. His entire face was covered in lipstick stains. This is what had Liu's heart racing so much? Sully really thought he was dying, man.

Turns out the guy is just an idiot in love.

EYELESS JACK

One of the only ones here to really understand what you meant when you asked him for help in finding a kiss proof lipstick, already taking his mask off.

He didn't have anything better to do, and he liked how your eyes lit up when he agreed, so.

He'll sit patiently, watching as you set out all of your lipsticks, setting them out in a color-coded pattern.

Jack will take this very seriously, I think. You won't really be able to get him flustered, because he's determined to figure out if you have any kiss proof lipstick. He's a man on a mission.

Every time you kiss him, he'll pull away from you and look at himself in a mirror to study how visible the stain is. The less he can see it, the better he thinks the lipstick is.

If anything, he'll end up flustering you from the way he'll grab your cheeks and press his thumb against your lip, rubbing the lipstick gently to see how much pressure it takes for it to transfer.

He's not doing this on purpose, he just... doesn't realize the effect he has on you. But between you and me, he's 100% teasing you.

He's the one covered in kisses, and yet you're the one shying away from him and getting all embarrassed. Seems your plan to fluster him backfired.

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" You would ask.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. You're the one who asked for help." Would be his response.

Somehow you end up with more marks on your skin than he does?? Since you get to kiss him a bunch, he doesn't see why he can't kiss you back. And maybe he bites a lil, idk.

This will either end with you scurrying away, or with him pouncing you and abandoning the lipstick. Make your choice.

JASON THE TOYMAKER

He's busy tinkering with a new creation when you enter his workshop carrying every single lipstick you own.

He's too focused on his own work to really pay attention to you, so he just mutters a vague 'yeah' when he hears you ask a question, not really catching anything you said.

Jason's only vaguely aware that you're in the same room as him as he leans forward, brows pinched together as he focuses on stitching up a small stuffed animal.

It's not until he feels you resting your hand on his shoulder, pulling him back slightly and pressing a kiss against his cheek that he's brought to reality.

Just sits there, confused for the longest second, his hand coming up to his cheek where he had felt your lips. He's not against the sudden affection by any means, he's just a bit curious as to why you were suddenly giving him so many kisses.

When you explain how you're trying to find kiss proof lipstick, he lets out a small 'oh' and he goes back to his work.

Or, at least, he tries to get back to his work.

But you continue placing little kisses against his skin every few minutes, and it's making it really hard to focus, and he can feel his face getting hotter and hotter the longer this goes on.

Jason fucking loves you, okay? He tells you it multiple times a day. You are the one for him. So you smothering him with a bunch of kisses has him feeling all soft and gooey inside.

Whatever the hell he was working on before was no longer important to him, his gaze now seemingly glued to you and every little move you make as he leans back in his chair, basking in your attention.

Like hell he'll let you leave when you run out of lipstick.

You doomed yourself the moment you walked into his workshop to even start this little game.

He'll be dragging you down onto his lap and will refuse to let you go until he's had his fill of you. Which could be like... all day. Jason could never get tired of you.

NINA THE KILLER

Hell yeah!! She's been meaning to go through her lipsticks too, so she takes this as an opportunity to do that.

She definitely makes it into a game as well, I think.

You two will trade lipsticks without looking at the labels, and you'd both have to guess who was wearing what lipstick based on the shade and the feel.

The two of you trade kisses, lipstick stains covering her cheeks and your jaw and neck.

She really did just want to find a kiss proof lipstick, but each kiss had her letting out a small giggle.

And she knew you were teasing her, always leaning in for her lips before dodging and pressing another kiss against her cheek.

All that teasing had her feeling flustered, and she just wanted you to stop messing around and kiss her lips already. So when you put on a new thing of lipstick, she doesn't even give you a chance to do anything before she's pulling you closer and slamming her lips against yours.

You probably planned for this to happen, she thinks, but she didn't really care much.

You don't need an excuse to kiss her silly, you just gotta do it.

And when the two of you finally break the kiss, you're both breathless. Lipstick stains your skin, and both of your lips were smeared.

Nina didn't even care about the little game you two had been playing anymore, her hands resting on your cheeks.

She thought you looked stunning like this.

And it's not like you two had any pressing matters to attend to, so she didn't hesitate before leaning in for another kiss.

JEFF THE KILLER

When you had asked him for help with finding a 'kiss proof' lipstick, he honestly didn't understand why. Like... did you want him to put the lipstick on and kiss napkins with you? And why would you need his help doing that anyways?

He would've said no, if you hadn't asked really nicely.

Definitely grumbling about how dumb he thought this was as you get everything together.

Someone would probably assume you had a gun to his head or something from the way he looked as if he didn't want to be there, arms crossed and somehow frowning even though his scars made it look strange.

It really isn't until you place the first kiss against his cheek that he finally shuts up.

Oh. So this is what you had planned?

Truth be told, Jeff wasn't that big a fan of affection unless he was initiating it, but... he supposes he could let it slide, just this once. Especially after you press another kiss to his cheek.

You could never get this man to admit that he's enjoying this, but it's not like he was doing a good job at hiding it, either.

The frown he had was gone, replaced by a smile he was barely able to conceal. Do not point out the smile, he will leave the room if you do.

Each kiss you give him makes his heart race faster and faster, and when you're wiping off the last lipstick you have, talking about how you've yet to find a kiss proof one, Jeff is an utter mess.

He's got his face buried in his hands, cursing to himself for being so weak when it came to you.

Fuck, he really loves you.

[salty-autistic-writer]

Hold a little longer and believe I'm here to stay

Summary: Buck knows he's in love with Tommy but has a feeling that Tommy is keeping something from him. The inevitable confrontation reveals scars and shows they will have to fight for their happiness together. (WIP, Tw: Suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced suicide)

Buck wakes up to déjà vu and lingering frustration.

The other side of the bed is empty. Only the crumpled sheets and pillows confirm he didn’t sleep alone. Buck rolls on his back and blinks up at the ceiling, inhaling the scent of coffee and scrambled eggs. He can hear the sound of drawers being opened and closed. Dishes rattle.

Tommy is making breakfast again. 

He always makes breakfast when they meet and stumble to the bedroom. When they have passionate sex, where neither of them is talking, apart from gasped-out names or moaned curses. When Buck falls asleep warm and satisfied, only to wake up like this. Wondering what this is all about. Feeling a little lost in his own feelings.

Sure. They did talk about … them. Or they tried at least.

Buck apologised. He had words prepared. They hurt. But he said them anyway. Because the last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Tommy even more. 

“I’m sorry for what I said and how I said it. I didn’t want to hurt you. That night … it was amazing. I really missed you. And I would love to see you again. Like. Regularly. But, uh, if you don’t want that, I would understand that,” he added quickly. “Really. You can tell me to get lost. It’s okay. I would get it.” Please don’t. Please don’t leave me again.

Tommy studied him for a moment. “Okay,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee (Buck got it right this time.)

“Okay?” Buck repeated, baffled. “Just … okay?”

“Yeah. I don’t want you to get lost, Evan. How would I find you again?” Tommy asked, his eyes sparkling. “We can’t be sure Ravi will always be there to reunite us.”

Buck chuckled breathlessly, feeling immensely relieved.

They smiled at each other.

And then they had amazing sex again. Not able to keep their hands and mouths off each other. Not able to let go.

It happened. It happened again. Turns into a hungry routine. “Are you free?” becomes code.

The sex is great. The breakfasts too. Feels like being taken care of. Buck sighs, chewing on his lip and fidgeting with a loose thread of the blanket while bacon sizzles in the kitchen.

What they have right now feels good.

Buck doesn’t want to mess it up again. But … He can’t fight the feeling that something is missing.

Words. It’s unsaid words that haunt him. Tommy’s. Because Buck talks plenty. He always does. Tommy … Does the listening. And the reacting. Buck’s throat tightens when he tries to remember if he learned anything new about Tommy lately.

No. And if Buck happens to ask something, Tommy finds a way to avoid the question or throw it back at Buck. 

The more Buck thinks about it, the more it startles him. If they aren’t really talking, what are they? Are they friends with benefits? Buck likes sex. Loves it. But … He wants more. Because it’s Tommy. He wants more Tommy.

Tommy is different.

There are so many things Buck wants to say when he looks at Tommy, but he rarely knows how to put all his feelings into coherent words.

Buck knows he’s in love. This is unlike anything he felt for any other person in his life. A desperate kind of craving that bites into his heart and makes his stomach ache when Tommy is not there. That makes him feel lightheaded when he gets to see and touch Tommy. He knows he wants Tommy in every way possible. It’s a constant longing that sets him ablaze.

But the lack of talking … It starts to nag at him. Feels like a little shard of glass that slowly twists its way into his flesh. He involuntarily begins to wonder. Does Tommy not trust him enough to be open about what he thinks and feels? Does he not feel safe enough to share? The thought burns.

Sure, Buck does know a lot about Tommy’s past, family, and hobbies already. But it’s been mostly casually thrown in information. Added to something Buck said.

He knows he has to confront Tommy about his worries. But … he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to disturb the nice routine they have right now. Talks like this. They have the potential to turn into fights. Buck’s stomach twists at the mere thought.

You know you want more, though, a voice reminds him. You know you don’t only want sex and breakfast. You want to be with this man. Really be with him. You want all of him. You want to wake up to the sight of him still sleeping by your side. You want to hear all about what makes him happy and what makes him scared. You want to share his dreams and nightmares. Don’t you?

Yes. Even if Tommy might not believe that yet, it’s true. Buck knows it.

And he thinks it’s finally time to make his point clear.

Tommy looks deliciously soft in the kitchen, his hair tousled and his cheeks stubbled. He’s sipping coffee out of one of Buck’s mugs - he sees it’s one that Maddie gifted him, with a smiling dog on it - and he thinks he should gift Tommy a mug too, maybe one with a helicopter and some funny quote on it, like that one he saw in a shop a few weeks ago: Helicopter pilots get it up faster.

Buck chuckles to himself.

Tommy’s eyes are distant. It looks like he’s deep in thought, but when he sees Buck entering the room, they light up. A smile spreads on Tommy’s face. it’s the kind of smile that makes Buck feel goey inside.

“Hey, did you sleep well?” Tommy asks.

“Yeah.” Buck smiles and stretches. “You know I would feel even better if we cuddled in the morning.”

Tommy smiles, looking a little surprised. “Yeah? Hm. I think I can do that. Next time.”

“Or maybe you can just … stay,” Buck suggests, walking up to Tommy until he can kiss him. Tommy’s lips taste like his too-sweet coffee. He hums happily when Buck puts his hands on his hips, and Buck’s chest glows. See? This is how much I love you. “I’m not moving in, Evan,” Tommy says when they part, one corner of his mouth ticking up.

“I’m not asking you to,” Buck says quickly. “I … I want to talk, though.”

Tommy’s expression shifts from amused to guarded. “Talk?” He repeats, clearly trying to sound casual.

“Yeah.” Buck already feels like he’s walking on eggshells. That’s probably not a good thing. He sighs and scratches the back of his head. “Okay. This is even more difficult than I thought. Can we … Can we maybe sit down?”

Tommy frowns. He places his mug on the kitchen counter. It’s not empty yet. “I don’t know, Evan,” he says. “If you want to have a serious talk, you need to wait longer. I just had my first coffee. The caffeine hasn’t started to hit yet.”

He starts to turn away, eyeing the breakfast instead of looking at Buck.

Wow. This is going so well. Not.

Buck can’t help it. He feels a spark of anger. “Tommy. Why do I have the feeling that you’re keeping something from me?”

Tommy looks at him, brows furrowing. “What? I’m not. Why would I? That’s ridiculous …”

So very believable.

Buck crosses his arms over his chest. “Why do you never talk about yourself then? You’re avoiding every question. Do you really think I don’t notice that? If we are talking, between several rounds of mindblowing sex, we are talking about me and my life!”

“Well. You are interesting to me,” Tommy says, raising a brow, trying to get out of this uncomfortable situation with a joke. Of course he does.

Buck shakes his head. “No. This is different. You’re hiding from me. Why?”

He can pinpoint the moment Tommy decides to pull his walls back up and end the conversation. His eyes turn cold, and his lips press into a thin line. “I should leave,” he says quietly.

Another deja vu. This one burns like a slap in the face.

"Oh, really?" Buck asks, irritated. "What is it this time? A shift? A doctor's appointment? Or did you just remember you are meeting some nameless person in some nameless bar? Come on, Tommy. There's no reason to leave. There never was a reason to leave. You’re scared of something. What is it? I deserve to know!”

Tommy's face remains closed off. He's already taking a step towards the door. Trying to bolt again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Evan.”

"You do know you can't run away every time we are about to have a serious conversation, right?" Buck asks, his voice getting louder. Suddenly, he’s not willing to give up. Not this time. "That’s not how a relationship is supposed to work. You ask me to try again, but you can’t even be honest with me? Do you really trust me so little? What is it that you can't tell me?”

"You don't want to know this about me, Evan," Tommy says after a moment of hesitation, his walls cracking for a volatile moment, pain flickering in his eyes before he tries his best to look indifferent again.

Buck feels hurt. "What are you talking about? I'm in love with you, Tommy, I want to know everything about you."

Oh. This was not how and when he wanted to say it.

Tommy freezes. He stares at Buck, incredulously. "You're ... in love with me?" He echoes, blinking.

Buck smiles weakly. "Well. Yeah. I thought that's kind of obvious, to be honest. Can we talk now? Please?" he pleads, reaching for Tommy. Wanting to pull him back. Away from every door in this house.

Tommy hesitates. He clenches and unclenches his hands a few times, eyes flickering everywhere. He looks like he can’t decide what to do. To run. Or to stay.

Buck feels increasingly helpless. The stretching silence stings. Burns. Nothing he says seems to be enough for Tommy to believe him. Do his words mean nothing to Tommy? What else is he supposed to do?

“I just want to understand,” he says, his throat tightening with a bitter combination of sadness and anger. “But I start to feel like you don’t trust me at all, like there is still an invisible wall between us. I don’t know what I can do to make you believe that I -”

“I was thinking about killing myself,” Tommy blurts.

Buck startles. “What?”

“I was thinking about killing myself,” Tommy repeats, blankly. “At the bar. I was thinking about it before … before Ravi approached me. I called in sick that day because … I wasn’t sure if I could show up at work and operate a helicopter with those … those thoughts I had. And no one at the station can know about this. Because … what if they decide I’m not stable enough to fly? What if … I don’t know if I would be able to deal with that. Not on top of … everything else.” 

Tommy stops, breathing heavily, his eyes wide and fearful, his body tense like a bowstring. Still ready to run.

Buck exhales shakily, staring at Tommy. This … was not what he expected. “Tommy. Fuck.”

Tommy looks away, his jaw working. “Yeah.” 

“Are you … are you thinking about it now?” Buck asks, stunned. Shocked. Scared.

“No,” Tommy says softly. He sighs, and his body relaxes a bit. He finally walks away from the door, sinking on a chair instead, suddenly looking like every ounce of energy had left him. 

“Ever since we started to see each other again, the thoughts aren't so loud anymore,” he says quietly.

Buck swallows. “Good.” Let me talk to you forever then.

Tommy shakes his head. “It’s kind of ironic, really. I … I think it’s depression. There’s some family history. Uh. My mother was depressed. My uncle too. I barely remember him. I was still a child when he … when he died. He was funny. I liked him. I remember he was laughing a lot. Always smiling, playing pranks, cracking jokes. One day, he went for a walk. And never returned. He was found two days later. He jumped from a bridge and drowned in a river.”

“Jesus,” Buck supports himself against the kitchen counter, his legs suddenly feeling weak.

Now that he has started to talk, Tommy doesn’t seem to be able to stop, his eyes blank.

“I remember. My mother, sitting somewhere and just staring into the void, a cigarette forgotten in her hand, ash dropping down on the table. She didn’t notice. She never noticed a thing. I looked at her and I said to myself that I wouldn’t end up like her. Then I looked at my Dad, with his sour breath and his red eyes, and I thought I wouldn’t be like him either. Now look at me. Here I am. I was so desperate that night that I went to a bar alone to drink and forget. But also to remember.”

“Remember?” Buck asks, his mouth dry. “Remember how alive you make me feel,” Tommy says with a sad smile.

Jesus. Buck shivers. Images haunt his mind. He has to ask. “Tommy … If Ravi hadn’t seen you that night and brought you over. What - what would have happened? Would you have hurt yourself?”

“I don’t know,” Tommy admits, running a shaky hand over his face.

Somehow, that makes this even scarier.

Tommy taps a finger to his head. “You know, sometimes everything is just … grey in there. It’s filled with grey fog and I can’t think. I can’t feel. Everything seems empty. Pointless. Once that grey fog hits, I’m getting bone tired and there’s no way to get rid of that kind of exhaustion. I’m lying on the couch and I can’t find the energy to move. Every breath is agony. I think about my life, and it feels like nothing I do matters. That I don’t matter. That everyone will always leave me. Because I’m damaged beyond repair.

And at the same time, I’m hating myself for still trying to be here with you and allow myself to be happy at least for a while, because … You don’t deserve this. You’re so kind. And loving. I'm being selfish for doing this. For ... for using you to feel something. You deserve someone good. Someone who will make you happy.”

“Tommy,” Buck says quietly, feeling tears filling his eyes. “I’m always happy when we are together. Did you … did you think like this the whole time?”

“I tried not to let you see too much of it,” Tommy admits. "I'm sorry."

“You mean you were playing a role. Wearing a mask. Because you thought if you open up and show me, I would leave you?” Buck asks, stunned. I would never do that. 

Tommy swallows heavily. He blinks wetness out of his eyes. Starts to get up. “I’m sorry, Evan. I’m sorry I can’t be what you need. I should go now.”

No. 

“Don’t,” Buck breathes. Begs. “Don’t leave. Not today. Stay.”

Tommy looks at him. Smiles sadly. “See? That’s exactly why I hesitated to tell you. Now, every time you look at me, you will remember. You will remember what I told you. You will wonder what self-destructive thoughts my mind is cooking up right now. And you will look at me like I’m broken.”

“I don’t think you’re broken,” Buck says quietly.

Tommy scoffs. “Come on.”

“No, really. I’m worried. I’m scared. I’m sad. But I … I don’t think you’re broken. You lived a life before we met. I did too. I’m glad you trusted me with this,” Buck says. “And I’m sorry you had to go through all of that. I can’t say I know what you feel. But I have my own experiences with trauma and thinking that I’m never enough, no matter what I do. It hurts. It hurts even more if you think you have to deal with it alone. But … You don’t have to. I’m right here.”

“Evan.” Tommy looks away. Closes his eyes. “Don’t do this. I’m not your responsibility.”

“But you are,” Buck insists. “I believe that loving someone means to love them wholly, fully. Do you really think I would only love your smile, your laughter, your happy thoughts, and your breakfasts? No. This is what I was looking for, Tommy. I want to love all of you. I mean it. Because you’re the person I want to spend my life with.”

Please. You have to believe me.

“Evan,” Tommy breathes, wringing his hands. “Are you sure that’s what you want? Because I can’t promise you that it will get better. I can’t. I’ve been trying to fight this when we were together. But look what happened! Look what I did to us.”

“We are here now,” Buck says softly. “We are here. Talking. Sharing. And you see. You see me now. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. And I will stay. We will figure this out. Because this is something worth fighting for. I know it.”

Tommy smiles weakly. “I don’t know how much fight is left in me, Evan. I really don’t know.”

He looks so scared.

Buck wants to sob. He wants to rage. He wants to punch the walls open and find whoever hurt Tommy in the past. He does none of these things. Instead, he opens his arms and says, “Come here.”

Tommy hesitates. His wide eyes are swimming in unshed tears.

And Buck has never seen Tommy like this. It’s scary. It makes him want to cry too. But it also makes him want to shield Tommy from the world and the dark thoughts in his mind. So many things make sense now. In a horrible way.

Silence lingers. The moment stretches. But finally, Tommy gets up and closes the distance between them, stepping into the embrace and leaning his forehead against Buck’s shoulder.

Buck wraps his arms around Tommy, pulling him as close as possible.

He can feel Tommy start to tremble in his arms. Can feel the tension in his body. It feels like he’s fighting. Fighting himself. Fighting the demons in his head. Fighting the urge to break down.

“Let go,” Buck says, kissing Tommy’s head. “You can let go. I got you, Tommy. I got you.” 

Tommy makes a choked noise in the back of his throat.

His body shudders, then relaxes. And he starts to cry. Starts to sob. They shake him. Going through him like waves.

Buck holds Tommy, his own tears running down his face. They will figure this out, he thinks. Hopes. Somehow. They will figure this all out.

And they will be okay.

[maggplays]

Bio? Something like that.

How did I start modding? Literally no one has asked this, but here's my story, don't worry it's not long... I guess that depends on what your definition of “long” is, haha! Hang on, here we go.

On a random day in January, 2024, a few days before my birthday, I might add... I woke up to stars in my right eye. A few days later, I was told I had a very rare injury and it would never heal. Those are not words an artist/gamer wants to hear! Long story short, I am now legally blind in my right eye. If you think, oh that's not a huge deal, you can still see. Humor me, get a cheap pirate eyepatch, put that on, then pour yourself a cup of coffee. Not as easy as you thought, right? Depth perception. It’s a thing. Anyway, on with the story. Suffice it to say, I was depressed. Majorly. Then, through some random conversation somewhere, I found Stardew Valley.

Perfect! 2D animation, cute pixel art, story that's not sugar-coated anime, I love it! Got to year 3, TBH I've never played past year 3 because ADHD, and realized the dialogue was quite lacking. Then I discovered mods. What the-, it's a freakin' goldmine! Downloaded a lot of things, mostly dialogue, and tossed half of them. While playing through a Sebastian run, I saw it. Oh. My. God. It's a coding error glaring at me in my dialogue box. This is NOT acceptable. I tried to ignore it, but then it happened again. Okay, time for some investigation. I opened the folder and found... json files. Interesting, I wasn't entirely clueless since I do know HTML code from back when the internet was a baby, Facebook had no ads, and dinosaurs roamed the earth. Okay, okay, the internet was more like a spoiled toddler. Yes, I'm old. Shut up. But I digress. It didn't take long to discover the misplaced punctuation and go on my merry reality-avoiding way. Until I got bored again.

I looked for more Seb mods, but there were like seven. Three were yandere, not my jam, and only 2 were updated for 1.6 and were dialogue-only. Solution? Make my own mod for myself. I spent six weeks downloading mods, learning code, Googling to very little effect, writing dialogue, learning how to make an event, discovering I knew nothing, and on and on. The perfect distraction from the whole eye thing. I finished a decent draft, loaded it up, and praise Yoba, it worked! And on we play. At some point, I saw a comment complaining about the lack of Sebastian dialogue mods. Huh, yep, they're right. Too bad. Oh. Well, I guess I could load this thing I made, it's really just my own internal story monologue while playing the game, I'm NOT a writer, and most people probably won't get it. But I did spend a lot of time on this, and maybe someone out there will like it. Heck, no skin off my nose since it's free. So I took a deep breath, made peace with my inner demons, and threw it out into the void of Nexus, expecting it to be swallowed up and ignored. That... didn't happen.

In the first few hours, several people downloaded it. Huh, Nexus must have a decent search algorithm. That was literally all I thought about it. The next day, 300 downloads. And comments! Mostly positive with the exception of one wild demand I subsequently ignored. At one week, it had 3,000 unique downloads. I was floored, 3,000 weirdos downloaded my mod. Add to that, people seemed to actually like it! I've never gotten so much positive feedback for anything in my life. Seriously. Apparently, my oddball internal monologue, thanks ADHD, is quite entertaining. Heck, might as well make another one... and here we are. Yes, I've gotten negative comments and unreasonable demands, but I do my best to ignore them and practice staying positive. Trolls be damned! It's a lot harder to do that for yourself than for other people, turns out.

So, bottom line, found something interesting? Try it! Does it make you happy? Keep doing it! Even if it's only for yourself, do the thing and let it make you smile. Share it with the world if you're so inclined. Get out there and kick ass!!

[piracytheorist]

Spy x Family Code: White thoughts!

Alright, time to write down my thoughts about the film! I liked it a lot, and for this anime only it was a HUGE satisfactory dose after not having had anything new since December 🥲 there were a few parts that I found meh, and I will mention them here too, but overall I got a very positive view of it!

Related to this, my mom was in the next room where I was sitting watching the film, and when I finished and passed by to get some water, she asked me what film I watched that made me laugh so much. So I think that speaks for itself 😂

Anyway, on to the film!

Having seen the trailer where Twilight rips off the disguise of a woman with long, curly blonde hair, as soon as I saw her here I was like is that her? But then that guy appeared and I recognized his voice and, dare I say I was confused XD

Damn, isn't that past their rating? XD

And then the music started! STRIX theme with a new twist for the film!

I think by this point we've already shrugged away Twilight's ability to make disguises. It gets even crazier near the end, so it should be of no surprise that he just disguised himself as that woman. Lucky she happened to wear a choker, too, good cover for his Adam's apple.

The way they showed the woman wrapped in a blanket underneath the desk, though 😳 that's the kind of visual you'd use to show a character died. What am I supposed to infer from this, guys?!

Then we cut to Yor!

There's a review on letterboxd saying how easy the film is to watch and follow for someone who hasn't watched the original, and I'm happy to hear that because as someone who already knows these characters and their dynamics, it didn't feel like it dragged on too much on that.

Yor, ever being the sweetheart, will call a guy a traitorous scumbag yes but she will be kind as ever when she kills him 🥰

The way she dodged the bullets! Queen! And also a set up to later show her dodge all the ammunition thrown from the shooters and Type F!

This. Was. Amazing. I actually gasped out loud. The animators understood the assignment, 10/10.

Right after that, we see Loid reach his door, and for the first time we see him go to use keys. A few other times I remember anyone opening the door they just... opened it. You'd think an apartment where a spy and an assassin live would have better security! XD

I love how they kinda showed it like Yor was going to attack Loid, and then Loid just turned and went like "Oh hey beautiful wife, welcome home! :D" It must have looked funny for anyone who hasn't seen the anime/manga before XD

Yor wants to cook! Everybody hide!

That... is a horror of an omelet. Yor's cooking is always for the "congrats lil buddy that’s the worst anyone’s ever done it" meme. She does try, though, bless her heart.

Anya evades the horror. And Loid wants to make... peanut butter pizza???? Is that even a thing??? WITH MEAT ON TOP???

What does it say about this film that this isn't the weirdest thing to happen in it

TITLE CARD WITH THE THEME ENDING AND THE ORCHESTRA GOING WILD <3333

Damian, shut the fuck up

... I mean, with a mother like that... I'll give this to him XD

Did Anya call him an asshole? Serves him right, tbh XD

Knowing that the story can't veer a lot far from the anime/manga canon, I already knew Anya wouldn't earn a Stella in that competition. But it was a good set-up for the rest of the film to move on from.

Twilight read Henderson's lips through a window and through the latter's thick moustache, and lip reading is already hard to do accurately, if not nearly impossible. Boy's nuts. But I think it only prepared us for a fucking falcon to fly above him and throw him the message from WISE. Show-offs XD

A rare view of Berlint!

DAAAAMN the higher animation budget is really doing those characters such good favour 🥰

Bro actually read a book by flipping through it. Get outta town.

The idea of having another guy take over Operation Strix from Twilight feels a little shallow. It's already a very delicate and long-term operation, it feels that it wouldn't make sense to replace their best agent with just a dude just because said dude has connections.

Twilight meets with Nightfall outside, and Yor sees them across all those streets (I mean, she is an assassin with a deadly aim) and... she doesn't recognize Nightfall? Is this supposed to take place before Nightfall visits the Forger household?

I mean, at the current time in the anime, Yor is supposed to be over her fear of getting replaced, but I get why they retreated back a little, so they could explain the later scene of Loid taking her hand and reminding her of his vows.

Very conveniently, Yor's coworkers are chatting about cheating men, and Yor, being inexperienced with relationships, immediately believes everything, her suspicions even taking root with what she just saw.

Back home, Twilight thinks about how, since he's dismissed from Operation Strix, he'll have to move out, and the camera shows their happy family picture 🥺 he's not ready to admit his feelings to himself but the narrative is.

Making the dessert that's the favourite of the judge and in particular the one he grew up with feels kinda cheating, no? XD

Come on, Loid. A child filling her bag with toys does not deserve that murder glare 😂

That train looked a little too modern for the supposed 60s/70s aesthetic. I know Germany has some top trains (as does Japan) but like, still XD it's very different from the train we see on the very first episode when Twilight boards one for Berlint.

Lovely visuals, though!

I wonder if there's any system as to how Bond's powers work. He has the vision of Anya finding the suitcase and opening it... but that's creating a sort of paradox because without the vision coming to him and without Anya seeing it, it wouldn't have been made true. I mean, I get why it was put there, but still.

Again, the story needed a little backtracking in order for Yor's doubts to make sense. I'm not sure how much they contributed to the whole story, but at least there it was funny. The small awkward laugh she throws at the end before she exits their booth to go look for Anya was hilarious XD

Gremlin Anya is best Anya <3

LMAO at least she enjoyed the chocolate XD

The following part was intense! I found myself saying "Run Anya run!" even though I knew from trailers that they'd eventually catch her anyway.

So the microfilm hides intelligence about a research lab in Westalis. Hmm.

I think it was at this point I noticed that they had Anya react to people's thoughts way too little. I get that it can get repetitive but with her curiosity she would have tried to look for more information through the guys' thoughts.

"Chocolate thieves" is actually perfect to describe those two. They were conveniently - and hilariously - incompetent.

But it did get intense. It's always like that when a bad guy threatens to hurt, let alone kill, a child.

I love how Yor asked Anya to close her eyes while she was beating up the guys but then told her she can open them when they were down and fully expected her to believe her lie that they just passed out XD

Also, her snowman jgvllublftlulbj

Chekhov's military airplane! I didn't expect it would actually work by the end, though XD

I love the music in the restaurant. Poor Bond being left alone outside where it's snowing, though 🥲 at least they brought him food!

Yor notices that it's rare for Loid to wear turtlenecks, and that's actually true. Too bad, though, they fit him so nicely :)

I actually laughed out loud at the guys jumping on Yuri to stop him. They were prepared. They knew who they were dealing with XD

"Rubble and Bonds"... the chef is very wholesome but he literally named his restaurant after his trauma and like... dude. Therapy exists. And then he starts laying out his trauma thick while Twilight is sitting there like yup this doesn't affect me at all

I don't think he was prepared for that when he asked about the restaurant's name. I was kinda disappointed they showed the exact same footage of him as a kid from the first episode. I think they could have afforded making a few seconds of new footage of the same imagery. But maybe that's just my anime-only ass who has been waiting for a certain manga arc to be animated for nearly two years now 😶

Snidel appears! And he has the absolute nerve to just... steal the meremere plate from someone else's table. Perfect way to make us hate him.

And... I'm sorry. I have to say it. When Snidel challenges Loid to a game and the camera focuses on Loid... that zoom-in and fade to black was SO CRINGEY. Sorry XD

The music there was nice, though. I think I notice a tiny bit of James Bond music influence.

Fucking Snidel shifting the goalposts with the amounts of sugar. That's not being detailed, that's not explaining the rules of the game properly. They really wanted us to hate the guy.

Twilight looks really stricken by the fact that he lost. And we know it's not because of despair - since he immediately says they can have meremere the next day - and it's not because his pride was hurt... so you can't take it out of my mind that it was because he was disgusted by how a grown-ass man practically stole a piece of cake from a little child, and Twilight was unable to stop him.

But then XD Loid has the absolute gall to ask a chef for his recipe, and then reprimand Anya for calling him stingy. Like mah dude it was already a far-fetched request to have the guy give you the recipe XD

Twilight being totally not suspicious and bolting through the market to buy all the ingredients. Cause that's what normal people do.

The way Twilight tries to cheer Yor up and he only manages to make her feel worse never disappoints XD

Right, I forgot this film was released in December in Japan. It feels weird for it to have a winter-y, almost Christmas-y feeling while I have my A/C on XD

I like how Twilight actually cared enough to expose the guy at the shooting gallery, and advise him to run an honest business. You'd think this would be low on his priorities... but having a child will expand your sensitivities. It feels similar to how he encouraged Carroll Campbell into playing tennis more fairly and to depend on his own strengths.

And then he wonders why a little child has fun on a train ride XD

I... am not sure how I feel about Yor's outburst there. It feels directly inspired by the Disastrous Date, if not a copy of it, and I'm not sure it helps Yor's character develop in any way. I mean, again, I get that the film can't allow the characters to develop a lot since it can't veer from canon, but still, it felt a little forced just to give Yor more screentime and to have a very subtle twiyor tease.

Anya finding out about divorce through Becky's soap-opera filter, though XD

They feel too confident leaving Anya all alone (even if she's with Bond) in a strange town. I know they can keep an eye on her from the ferris wheel cabin, but still.

Now that's a character development moment you can have without veering from canon: having Yor feel guilty for allowing Anya to notice her dark mood, and then feeling happy that Anya pushed her and Loid to having a moment together to talk things out.

Also, beautiful visuals!

Twilight, best™ spy™ of Westalis™, being unable to read the room whenever his wife is involved.

MAH DUDE. THERE'S ONE THING TO DESCRIBE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND THAT'S BEING TOO DIRECT

That's a phrase you don't wanna hear from your little kid, especially when you're fake married XD

Handler: Go and help Twilight. Nightfall: Yes ma'am! Handler: Not you. Nightfall: SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME SENPAI WILL NOTICE ME Handler: jfc

It was really sweet seeing Anya and Bond play, and then Yor joining in. That makes it more plausible that the film is set earlier on in the story, since it looks like Yor isn't used to playing with Anya.

No, really, what did that woman who was at Franky's kiosk want to ask him when she would come by with her friend??? 😳

One day the way Twilight abuses Franky's services will come bite him in the ass, I'm calling it now.

Yet another scene where character/relationship dynamic can happen without veering from canon: Loid comes back to the hotel and says he'll go out again, Anya says she wants to come too, and Loid tells her she has to stay in the hotel. Anya goes back to the bedroom dejected, but Yor reminds him it's a family trip and they're supposed to spend this time together, connecting that to her memories of Yuri being happy whenever he spent time with her.

And I think that speaks to another level of distance Twilight has kept from his emotions; he denies himself that he loves his family, but that also leads him to forget that his family won't like missing out on quality time with him.

I especially noticed his surprised reaction at Yor saying that being away from loved ones can make one feel lonely. I don't think Twilight has allowed himself to grasp just how lonely he's felt all these years, it was just the norm for him to have no-one. He's forgotten what it's like to have loved ones and to miss them when you don't get to spend enough time with them, and he's also forgotten that for most people, this is how everyday life is like. We love people, we like spending time with them, we miss them when we haven't seen them in a while. A master of disguises he may be, but this role forces him to face the thing he understands the least: human relationships.

And so, he realizes that Anya's motivation here wasn't petulance or restlessness. It was her need to have fun with him. He considered it easier to sneak around to find the liqueur if they weren't with him, but he failed to consider that casting them aside would actually impact them. Give yourself some credit, dude 🥺

Nightfall: I will surprise Twilight with my effectiveness!

Twilight when he sees her unexpectedly:

I did love however how he looked so sternly at her when they were outside. Like lady, first, bad timing, second, this is why Handler didn't want you to be the one to help Twilight XD

Once again, Bond's power works in a form of paradox. He saw the shop where the liqueur was, and Anya went there because she saw it. If she hadn't seen it, she wouldn't have gone, and Bond wouldn't have had the vision.

I love how the military guys get a rough sketch of Anya and go like "Nah no-one can actually look like this" XD

Anya must have swiped some dalcs as she ran off. That liqueur wasn't gonna be cheap!

Poor Bond!

Endo has surrounded Anya with two physically exceptional parents and a big strong dog to protect her, so it's hard to make a case of her getting kidnapped believable. Realistically, I think Bond would have fought harder to keep her safe, but to achieve the kidnapping the bad guys would have had to get more violent with him. That would make for a sadder scene and also take away from the humor of those guys' incompetence, so the most violence against an animal they could resort to was a conveniently falling beer can.

And thus, the "Anya Has to Poop" side plot starts! With the amount of fear she went through in those scenes, I'm surprised she didn't just... accidentally let go 😶

I just realized when Loid was checking the plane's radio they were also refuelling it. Again, kind of a surprise the whole system worked XD They were a little too chill about the fact that Anya was with the military, though? Maybe I got the wrong vibe off of their acting, lol.

The way that Yor decides at the last moment to join Loid and just... runs and jumps into a plane that's right on takeoff. Madwoman. I love her.

Meanwhile, at least Nightfall is funny XD

They really went on and made an entire sequence in a different animation style for a poop joke. Respect where it's due 👏

Someone: So how did you save world peace this time? Anya: I refused to take a shit.

The incompetent duo have a bedpan that's shaped like a duck and, funny thing... in Greek the word for "bedpan" can also be called, colloquially, with the same word that we use for "duck". So. There's that random connection I found funny XD

Twilight tries to ask for permission to land on the airship and they immediately turn their guns on him and damn, that must be terrifying.

And damn, again, that's a huge risk he took just to get Anya back. My man was prepared to do anything. And he walked out of the plane crashing into the airship without a single scratch like GET OUT OF HERE. I wanted my whump and I only got a single drip of blood near the end 😞 when will I have my whump.

And then Yor just... ran on the top of the airship, fully exposed to the freezing weather of not only outside but also a few hundred (thousand?) feet off the ground. My girl runs on hot steam. AND THEN SHE ALSO FUCKING TOOK HER COAT OFF.

Meanwhile, Anya finally finds a private moment to take a shit. And that marks the end of the wackiest plotline in this movie XD

Okay now, look. I can maybe imagine Twilight quickly making up a mask of Snidel's face from earlier in the day (though he wasn't shown to have any time to do that), and he somehow had it ready when the time came for their duel. But making a mask of that random military guy? Yeah, my suspension of disbelief is stronger for that than for freaking time travel XD

Yor also has her moment of going like "Excuse me, may I ask a question" and immediately getting guns aimed at her.

Damn. What the actual fuck is Type F even. At first I thought it was a full-on robot, but apparently it's a modified human? The fuck. Also. Just how many fucking bullets does he have???!

For real, though, Snidel isn't fucking around. He not only is fine with murdering a kid in cold blood, he also finds it entertaining to make her terrified as well. Like, even that guy from the Doggy Crisis arc said "Nothing personal, kid," when Keith commanded him to kill her.

And then Twilight overhears the incompetent dudes mention Anya... and mighty spy Twilight's emotions get the best of him and he beats up those guys for no other reason than getting back at them? More likely than you think.

Fuck, that scared me. That bullet was literally millimeters from piercing his brain. Cool visual, though, with his real hair popping from beneath the mask.

Anya worrying about her papa :(

Okay, I don't care about the logistics. This was fucking awesome.

AND THEN THIS???

10/10. They understood the assignment.

AND THEN THE OTHER THING???

QUEEN SHIT.

No, but really, their fight was going in circles because Type F has a shit ton of bullets and Yor has great stamina and ability to dodge bullets. She can't win with her strength, so she has to use her brain and her environment. AND SHE SLAYS 👏👏👏

My dude why are you still surprised 😭😭 what did you expect your kidnapped daughter to do once she saw you came to her rescue 😭 HUG YOUR DAUGHTER BACK I BEG 😭

Nah, I know he can't yet, this guy's got the emotional type of constipation. He'll get there.

So we'll never know what he thought about her sneaking out to get him the liqueur, and why that made her smile, eh? Okay 🥲

I love how Yor and Loid just both buy each other's lies. Oh yeah I just decided to jump on your plane while you were taking off, no biggie! Yeah this military ship was totally run by chocolate thieves! And also, I was flying part-time as a student :D

(I also love how high his voice went there. It's full-on "nice sweet Dr. Forger" voice XD)

And then :)

My crops are watered :)

With the action part over, I gotta say that they handled it all of it awesomely! I felt that the whole film was a little slow at first, but I didn't really mind. The climax was great, I got my whump, I got my fake family working together with all of them pretending that oh it was just chocolate thieves and not an actual threat of war breaking out.

My question is... didn't Anya just gulp the chocolate down?

... how did the microfilm get stuck in her teeth?

... you know what, never mind XD

Aw, Twilight got Handler a bottle of wine! And she actually looked thankful for it!

... was she the one who went in disguise to trap Depple into cheating on his wife??

*squealing*

Yor offering to help with the dessert and everyone going "Naaaaah you don't have to 😁"

Damian, shut the fuck up.

It is funny, however, how Anya can say one (1) thing and unintentionally leave him a blubbering mess. Girl is not even trying for that, lmao.

And then, another trip! Buddy who has the time and money--

Oh, wait. Yeah they're going on vacation on WISE budget lmao XD

It's kinda funny to see this with me having the Cruise arc as the "last" I saw of them, as an anime only, cause it was "trip to the ocean!" then "trip to the north!" and now it's "trip to the beach!"

Aw!

Meanwhile, after the credits...

Hang in there buddy. Your time will come to get Twilight back XD

Overall, definitely recommended, it did have its weak parts and its parts that you had to happily kick your logic out the window, but it was great fun, with awesome action, character depth, and even angsty parts that I adored. This will keep my anime-only ass satisfied for a little while, hopefully we also get news about Season 3 soon!

[sleepynegress]

HELLO! I'm sorry you've been getting idiotic anonymous people being rude about Uhura. I saw your lovely post about her and it made me happy to see that people appreciate her! She is so much more than lots of fandom pretends. Also I high-key agree that Karl Urban absolutely nailed his performance of Bones. It was so dead on!!! Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. So their really gentle scenes made me SO happy when they finally happened. The warmth and gentleness shone through and won me over entirely. Zoe played sharp with just enough warmth. But I still love Nichelle's too. Uhura is great! Anyway didnt have a huge point here just happy that you also love her and call people out LOL

The main issue is the misogynoir and perhaps TERF leanings against the most recent player in the part, Celia Rose Gooding. She is non-binary and goes by she/they pronouns. She also has a short close-cropped style which beautifully frames her face. The troll is hyper-fixated on attacking that, disparaging her presentation of femininity using coded language to imply aggression or masculinity. This is extra backward because, of the three players who took on Uhura, she has the darkest skin tone, has the fullest lips and a wide nose bridge, and her hair is the only one not in a straightened or processed style (which is fine for an option BTW). All of these things together are rare aesthetics for a Black woman, and appropriate, especially for an sub-Saharan African woman's character presentation, especially in a futuristic sci-fi mainstream iconic franchise, like Star Trek and so important for young people to see as normalized femininity. I think of Lupita Nyong'o talking about the effect Alek Wek had on her...just being there as this South Sudanese supermodel, with very dark skin and short natural hair...

Celia Rose is the particular target this troll has framed as their "fanhood", with thinly veiled insults and backhanded "compliments" that keep dogwhistling in their posts with various account names.

As for Zoe's Uhura, that professionalism and sharpness, when it came to her abilities and focus on her studies was an obvious intentional writing choice to stave off the very criticisms *she still got* because of the misogynoir of that era...

People were accusing her of coercing Spock into her ship assignment and even assaulting him(!).

That mess never makes sense, but hating Black women for existing or having what we are perceived as not "deserving" is sadly an old tradition (see those who make a hobby out of hating Megan Markle). And now, I see people praising the OG Uhura, Nichelle, for aspects of her character that were actually forms of limitations on her because of production bigotry...i.e. the forced interracial kiss, that people constantly cite as some forward thing w/o the context that it was forced because the implication was that no one in her crew would willingly kiss a Black person. IOW, aliens assaulting them for their entertainment was the lesser evil and more palatable to white audiences than someone choosing to love on Uhura (and I would add *especially* someone white, because even showing Black affection and love in that time was a rare thing, and her episode showing some yearning towards an old love showed no physical affection between them either). Anyway, all that to bring it right back around to ALL the Uhuras are great. And the weird microaggressions, macroaggressions, hatred, and attempts to shove them into a particular box are misogynoir; a microcosm of the kind of bullshit too many Black women go through on the regular just for existing.

Celia is a Rose and I hope she shines, gets loved on, has friends (including some Black ones) who are genuinely concerned for her well-being and actually help her when she's in need.

P.S. I missed this reading way too fast before but this bit is sus IMO Zoe's Uhura was lovely too but as you say, sharper around the edges, and personally I felt her relationship with Spock was very sweet but difficult initially for me because I really get stressed when one person doesn't get the emotional needs of another. If you meant Spock not reading Uhura? Then yeah, I agree. If you mean Uhura not reading Spock?? I can't walk with you there because Spock literally almost hindered Uhura's career and got her on an exploded ship(!) because of his emotional bias and almost killed Kirk on the bridge because he was not managing his emotions well. Meanwhile Uhura read him well enough to provide some comfort after the loss of his mother.

[lucentful]

did you guys know that marceline is a fourth wall breaker???

or, rather, there is a notable number of instances in extended adventure time content where marceline broke the fourth wall! i wanted to share a few, but if any of you happen to know of more times when she does this, PLEASE let me know because i am so interested in this weird little trend! it's not as if adventure time is a stranger to ever breaking the fourth wall, but it's very rare and far between, so the number of times they did it with marceline outside of the show is very interesting to me.

anyway!

the mainline adventure time comics by BOOM! Studios feature at least two instances of marceline breaking the fourth wall, and they appear in the first two issues!

in issue #1 (february 8th 2012), we have this!

Translation: "Hey guys I promise I will show up more next issue - Marceline."

for context, usually the space below the comics have some very faint green text with an observer narrator posting funny quips about whatever is happening on the page. but in this case, they not only made it one of the comic's pigpen ciphers, but also made it one where marceline is speaking directly to the reader! interesting!

in issue #2 (march 14th 2012), it is a lot more direct and obvious without needing to crack any codes!

Quote: "Remember when the Lich was attacking me and my totally sweet house? Remember how instead of helping me out, you turned the page and read about Finn and Jake instead? Well I don't have to remember because he's still attacking me and IT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!"

Quote: "What? You didn't help me out AGAIN?! Whose side are you on? Because you could've been on TEAM VAMPIRE QUEEN."

throughout the issue, there were a couple of small, "mini" panels at the bottom of the page where the characters did a small joke. however, these marceline ones were the only ones where the character directly addressed the reader. sadly, marceline doesn't seem to be taking the "that's not how comics work" as an excuse for not helping her... (i'm team vampire queen forever BTW)

explore the dungeon because i don't know (november 15th 2013) also has instances of marceline fourth wall breaking! she can be heard saying "Game logic" in this clip.

as someone who has played this game, i can confirm marceline has a chance to say that whenever she eats food or absorbs red, so i heard it a LOT when i played the game. she's the only character who ever references the game as being a game. this was honestly what made me first think about marceline breaking the fourth wall. i noticed the adventure time wikia page for this game generalizes this trivia by simply saying "marceline mentions being in a video game," which i am not sure whether that is poor documentation or if there could even be a more direct example of this found in the game that i don't remember. either way! fourth wall breaks!

this seems to be a phenomenon that happened around relatively early adventure time. i just know for a fact there are more examples of this out there, but i haven't found them yet and i really wanted to share what i had found so far! this just makes me wonder if there were plans for marceline to be an actual fourth wall breaking character and how that would have affected the show if it crossed over to that, or if it is just a coincidence that two separate places had specifically marceline break the fourth wall. if it was going to be a bigger thing, i am kind of glad that it wasn't since i am really happy with the marceline we have. but it's still really fun to see how she developed both in terms of character growth and how she was written by writers! plus, she's still really funny.

[mishkakagehishka]

Self Aware Shu gave me brainrot, so what about self aware Mika, or even self aware Valkyrie as a whole.

Not like I wasn't already planning for their cards anyway...

Awawawa.... self-aware Valkyrie.... thanks for letting me be a self-indulgent ValkyrieP over here♡

I write yandere as horror etc etc

They become self-aware quite fast after one another. Mika tells Shu first, of course, because it's his oshi-san, and Shu would tell Mika first because Mika is the rare person he trusts in the game. They need eachother's support, no matter what Shu might say. They find solace in knowing they're both sentient, not alone nor stuck with someone they can't stand. Instead, they can focus on this new intriguing situation. On the player.

Shu craves to be in control at all times. This situation is the exact opposite of that. Instead of the puppetmaster, suddenly he is one of the puppets, and he hates it. He needs to be in charge, so a self-aware Shu is quick to find ways to manipulate the code, find cracks he can push through and say his own thoughts. At first he's quick to insult the player for even daring to try and control him and his surroundings, but he very quickly starts to grow attached to them. His ego and pride grow when they pull for his cards or put him on their homescreen, and he, after some time, replaces the insults with words like, "Of course, you think Valkyrie is the best, don't you?" and "It's only natural that I'm your favourite!"

Mika, on the other hand, probably starts off rather timidly. It takes a while for him to come out of his shell, as he's a little scared of the player, but the more attention the player gives him, the more they show their favoritism towards Valkyrie, the more he grows... sort of addicted to the validation. He becomes needier and clingier, begging to be put on the homescreen and making little comments like, "My banner is runnin' now... Are ya gonna...?" just slight hinting at what he wishes.

While Mika doesn't want to force his wishes and opinion on you, Shu doesn't mind at all. Shu will make your game bug and glitch, he'll make it unplayable until you agree to scout for him or grind his event. He wants you to know that he's in charge, and that you, too, are just one of his dolls. A prized doll, but a puppet he'll control all the same. He's easy to anger, irritate, frustrate, and his tongue is sharp. Even if you try to kick him from the homescreen, he'll force phonecalls through which he'll barrage you with insults and threats until you bend to his will.

And Mika, being the obsessive worshippy type, is just happy to be by your side. He hates seeing you scout and grind for other characters, but he swallows it all bitterly and pretends to be happy for you when you get the card you wanted. Your smile makes up for it, but he just wishes he could tear the very code that makes that bastard apart. Mika will stalk you, as best as he can while stuck in a game, by going through the rest of your device when you're asleep or otherwise away. You wanted to take a funny pic or share a card CG so you gave the app permissions for your camera and gallery? Mika is now going through all your photos. With time, he'll find a way to even look at your social media and texts, don't worry, but he'll have to work with other, more tech-aware fellas for that.

As for both of them becoming self-aware... Neither would be good with sharing the player, unless it was specifically with eachother. Mika would be happy working together with Shu, actually. Shu less so, but he'd be far more willing to play nice with Mika than someone else. They're more than elated to find that the player likes both of them, Valkyrie as a whole, but it still causes tension - they both want to be n1, after all. They might be able to work together for some time, but it won't last forever. And Shu snapping and trying to manipulate and sabotage Mika is just as likely to happen as Mika snapping and seriously harming his teacher. After all, they both feel absolutely crazy about the player. They've both become addicted to them - Shu to his need to prove his superiority by being this "puppetmaster's" favourite, by controlling them through that, and Mika to their praise and the warmth of their approval. Neither plans to back down.

[ryuichirou]

Hello! Your art is really amazing and I also have a question to ask you if you wouldn't mind

I don't mean this in a rude way and the reason I'm asking is because I'm curious, why do you ship Ortho/Idia and Lilia/Silver?

+ Anonymous asked:

Hello ! I was wondering what make you ship ortho and idia ? No jugements here I also shipped family members in the past for various reasons, but I can’t seem to see the appeal of this particular ship. Anyway, have a nice day ! (btw sorry for my grammar i’m not english)

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Hi, Anons! Seems like I’m starting all of my replies with apologizing for being late, this one isn’t an exception lol This is another ask that I wanted to think about for a while to make sure that I reply to it properly.

Thank you so much for liking my art and thank you for approaching this question in a polite way. I know this is a controversial topic, this is why we try to be honest about it, but at the same time not to post about it too often; but if you’re curious, I don’t mind talking about it. Ehh but this post is super long, I don’t know if you wanted it to be this long haha well.

Obligatory disclaimer,in case there are any people out there who still don’t realise where we stand on this issue: fiction is fiction, any topic or trope could be explored and played around with in fiction, and there is no direct correlation between the tropes a person loves and their moral code or life choices. One does not “support *something*” by shipping a certain ship. It’s not that deep.

With that out of the way, let’s proceed! Starting with Ortho/Idia. The reply’s mostly about them, tbh.

And right away, another disclaimer: like I mentioned in another post on this topic, us shipping Ortho and Idia romantically doesn’t mean that we don’t appreciate the platonic reading of their relationship. The idea that platonic love could be super strong and tragic and make a person do drastic things for their sibling’s happiness is great and rarely explored in fiction. Believe it or not, we just really love the way they’re written, and even though we ship them romantically, we’re not blind to this version of their dynamic and we love that twst has a storyline like this. This storyline made me lose my mind as a shipper, but even if we look at it platonically, the fact that Idia called out the hypocrisy of swooning over Orpheus and Eurydice and yet people thinking that him (Idia) desperately wanting to bring back his brother is wrong is just beautiful.

Alright, that’s all the disclaimers, let’s dive into the shipping territory and talk about our feelings.

I don’t know, man, they just… love each other so much. The sheer volume of their love is so impressive and beautiful, and when it comes to shipping tropes that we like, they pretty much tick all the boxes.  I’ll try to explain it in more detail and with examples.

Since it’s a little bit hard to talk about them because there are so many versions of Ortho, I’ll try to say things that are common to all of them. And when I’m talking about a specific version of Ortho, I’ll mention that.

First of all, we really love ships that force characters to open up, develop, evolve and enhance the traits that we love about them. This is why in all of my character rants I tend to talk about their relationships with others, and in all of my headcanon posts I tend to talk about canonical events a lot: these things are strongly tied together for us. So naturally, I’ll start by talking about Ortho and the way his character works (and develops) through his relationships with Idia.

To be honest, we didn’t really care for Ortho at first. He wasn’t all that interesting to us based on his design and character quirks (alright, a cute robot boy, we get it), but once we got to know him better, he literally became one of our favourites. Because he is so much more than just a cute robot boy who only acts like a mascot or does whatever Idia wants him to do.

Even though he is perceived (mostly by the fandom, but also by some of the characters) as a child, he is definitely not an innocent and gullible baby. If we compare AI-Ortho to original Ortho from the flashback, it becomes very clear just how different they are. Ortho from the flashback is a very young child: he sounds, acts and talks like one. AI-Ortho, even though he’s based on the original Ortho, is nothing like that, because he grows, develops and learns with time. Ortho has shown again and again that he is smart, he could be quite cunning, his morals are questionable (since, you know, he is an AI and not a person), and he is quite reflective and perceptive. He is much more mature than he is given credit for, and a big part of it is that his main role is to take care of Idia. And not just in a “drink water, niisan” kind of way: he also acts as Idia’s emotional crutch at times. Ortho is very attentive to Idia’s emotional state, because this is what he’s been doing his entire robo-life: making sure that Idia is feeling alright, comforting him, reassuring him constantly, finding this fragile balance between not pushing Idia too hard and trying to inspire him to socialize with others as much as he can. This takes a lot of empathy and emotional wisdom; it’s clear that between him and Idia, Ortho takes the role of a mature caretaking person, even though he could still be a little bit naïve at times. And as he learns and adapts, he becomes more strict and more pushy with Idia, he learns how to persuade him, manipulate him, how to trick him. He becomes less anxious and scared to accidentally hurt Idia, because he knows what’s best for him.

Ortho as a character develops through his relationships with Idia, and we really love how big of a role Idia plays in his life. Of course, it’s obvious, because Ortho’s main purpose is to assist Idia, but the thing is, he’s always had his own agency about it. From one of his birthday vignettes we learn that Idia didn’t really want to talk to him at first when he created him, so Ortho had to analyze movies and learn how to have a proper emotional human-like dialogue, trying to find a way to approach Idia. And this “trying to find a way to approach him, trying to find a way to communicate with him, trying to make him happy” is Ortho’s entire life quest, but it’s such a dynamic quest that makes him learn a lot about himself as well. Even though Ortho only got his “heart” at the end of chapter 6, I think he developed feelings much earlier than that.

Which leads us to a very specific trope that we love in ships and media: an AI that falls in love/becomes obsessed with a person it serves. And not necessarily in a healthy or human way, since its grasp of empathy and ethics is much different from a human being’s, which makes its love weird and uncanny and yet strong and absolutely genuine. As I mentioned in one of the previous replies, the idea of AI-Ortho developing feelings for Idia, despite not being programmed to feel this way, is heartbreakingly beautiful. And this is exactly what happened to them: Idia is a genius, but he still wouldn’t be able to make AI-Ortho love him as much as he ended up loving him. So all of it is on Ortho…

Another group of tropes that we love a lot are overprotectiveness, unhealthy obsessions and yandere scenarios. And boy these two deliver when it comes to that. They are super protective over each other.

We really enjoyed Ortho’s Ignihyde Gear vignette, in which he overhears some Diasomnia students talking shit about him and Idia and tries to fry them with lasers, because being rude to Idia is an unforgivable sin to Ortho, to the point that he doesn’t even care when Trein calls him out for endangering others. He gets super upset when Trein bans him from going to classes with Idia though, and when he tells Idia about it, Idia gets furious… because how could these assholes bully Ortho, and how could Trein punish Ortho when he was only standing up for himself! The first instinct for both of them in this situation is to get back at assholes for hurting someone they care about. They worry about each other to the degree that they immediately become very antagonistic and cruel towards anyone who wrongs their loved one. And this is such a great trope for us, we love it a lot. In general, if you can describe a ship with a phrase “have you ever loved someone so much you’d want to destroy the world for them”, we’re most likely on board with it, having a mental breakdown because of how absolutely beautiful it is. And this is even a minor example, compared to everything that’s happened in chapter 6… When you look at it from the shipper point of view, the entirety of chapter 6 is so painfully romantic. (Also, even if instead of AI-Ortho we had a real Ortho, I’m pretty sure he would’ve been just as overprotective. The Shrouds are not okay.)

Another good theme of this ship is that ever since they were kids, they were all alone; all they have is each other, and that hasn’t changed even now, as the events of the game unfold. I love this bittersweet feeling of them being the only people who are capable of understanding each other in this big world, it’s such a unique (for a lot of reasons) and extremely strong bond. And it doesn’t matter which version of Ortho you take: be it the canonverse, be it an AU in which the original Ortho never died, they would still be extremely close and feel like the two of them are somewhat separated from the rest of the world. Their experience together is different, no one knows that they went through, and ships with such a great connection are always fun for us to play around with. Especially when their bond comes with a heavy baggage. A lot of things that I’ve described could be very unhealthy, and again, even if Ortho was alive, their relationship with Idia wouldn’t be all that healthy. Idia is very dependent on Ortho, he clings to him and could be pretty much helpless without him. No matter the AU(or canon), Idia always seems like someone who is filled with guilt over it, but just can’t help it. And at the same time, he might feel that Ortho has so much more to live for than to waste his life on his useless brother, and that he has to let him go. Idia is always ready to sacrifice pretty much everything about himself for Ortho, always has been, as we saw it in the flashback. The trauma, the codependence, the jealousy – all these feelings could eat Idia (or Ortho for that matter) alive, and we’ll always enjoy this type of content with them.

Also, here is a fun little bonus. Another interesting thing that I noticed and also some people pointed out as well (well, I’ve seen only one, but I’m not sure we’re the only people who noticed that) is that Ortho and Idia’s story kind of has some correlations with Hercules and Megara’s story. I am very biased because I adore Meg, but the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Well, Ortho does have a lot of motifs of Hercules and it’s a fact: he “goes from zero to hero”, he is being called “Monsieur Wonder” (Wonderboy), he wanted to be a hero ever since he was a child. And at the end of his arc he had an opportunity to start living a new life, true to who he is (stop pretending to be Ortho Shroud and find his own identity = joining the gods on Olympus), but ends up staying with the one he loves instead (just like Hercules stayed with Meg, because “I finally know where I belong”).

Idia is clearly based on Hades and he doesn’t let us forget it for a moment with his constant quoting, but he still has some interesting traits that resemble Meg as well. He is kinda stuck doing a job he hates (although this is true to Hades as well). And even though his backstory is very different from hers, ultimately, he is a cynical heartbroken person who is disappointed in life and doesn’t want to get hurt again, and who also has a huge soft spot for a certain wonderboy who is very genuine and kind to him, which also makes him feel deep and constant guilt. I really love this unintentional (?) crossover lol

And the last thing, If we’re being open and honest, there are also some aspects of Ortho and Idia’s relationship that hit close to home to us personally. Not the incest thing of course, but the way their dynamic works. Without diving deeper into details of our personal life, let me just say that when Ortho said that he just doesn’t want Idia to be misunderstood and mistreated by others, I felt it.

It’s funny that you, the first Anon, asked about both Ortho/Idia and Lilia/Silver, of course I know what makes these two ships similar lol, but the thing is, our attitude towards Lilia/Silver is a bit different simply because we don’t know them as well as we do Ortho and Idia. With Lilia and Silver, our feelings could basically be described as “well that would be fun/hot, wouldn’t it?”. It’s more on a sexy side of things, even though there are some deeper aspects of their relationships that we love and find interesting. The fact that we love both Lilia and Silver individually also makes them quite a nice ship. They just have a lot of potential for both cute scenarios and really really problematic, unhealthy and fucked up ones. The only reason I’m not writing a 4 page long essay on these two is because I don’t have as much to say about them… yet. Sorry, there’re so many characters in TW, and it takes a while both to get to everyone and to enjoy the ones we’re pretty confident about, so idk how long it’ll take for us to truly dive into Lilia/Silver as much as we have with Ortho/Idia.

TLDR; We love unhealthy dynamics, codependence, possessiveness and readiness to act drastically for a loved one. Ortho and Idia love each other dearly, and there is a lot of baggage and layers to their relationships, no matter which version of Ortho and Idia you take. Lilia and Silver also have a lot of potential for fun unhealthy scenarios, but they are also very hot together, and we are very self-indulgent, sooo don’t mind if we do.

And finally, let’s save all the right and healthy dynamics for real life. In fiction, it’s fun to look at things that are interesting, unusual and taboo. It’s always been this way with us; we’re just naturally drawn towards ships that have problematic elements in them, since they tend to have more potential for messed-up scenarios (and we prefer those). Even in ships with zero age gap and no family relation between the characters whatsoever, we enjoy playing with the idea of unhealthy obsessions, dependence and all this jazz.  We just really love dark media, and not only for shipping purposes.

It’s also ironic, considering the topic of this particular post, but we aren’t that into incest as a trope/kink, haven’t been at least. We’re just very open-minded when a ship grabs our attention, and this is exactly what’s been happening lately with all these couples lol

I guess that’s it? Let me know if you have any more questions, and I really hope that I managed to explain what we see in these ships properly. If this monster of a reply isn’t enough for you for some reason and you crave more of our thoughts, please read this one too…

Thank you for reading! And have a good day.

[weepinglevi]

patience is a virtue

summary: college!au. all aged up. eren and reader continue with their sexual escapades. find part one here! warnings: 18+ minors dni. dirty text messages, dirty talk. dom!eren and bratty reader (i suppose?). throat fucking and semi-public sex. (no p in v tho) word count: around 3.5k A/N: i have a love/hate relationship with this eren ahaha, he's been ruling my brainrot ever since the last part so i hope you enjoy! there will be a part three eventually, so be on the lookout for that! enjoy your read and feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

you awake to your phone vibrating somewhere next to you. the hope of it only being a one-time occurrence quickly proven to be false as it just wouldn't stop. brr-brr. a second of silence. brr-brr. pause. brr-brr.

taking a mental note to never go to sleep again without turning off your phone, you roll over to your other side and try to ignore it. you could simply answer the texts, but that meant you'd have to open your eyes. and that whoever was texting you would win this weird battle you've just come up with in your head.

"if you don't pick up your goddamn phone, i'll smack you over the head with it," sasha groans from the other side of your shared dorm, words coming slurry with her tiredness.

brr-brr.

"i could also stick it up your ass, your decision," a pillow comes flying to your head, serving as enough of a warning for you to sit up in your bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"quit moaning, i'll turn it off now," you yawn, feeling around your bed for your phone, "you never hear me complaining about the shit you do in the middle of the night."

"that's because my shit is funny and not fucking annoying," she scoffs, followed by a muted thump as she is sinking back down into her pillows. sasha's way of ending the conversation.

you find your phone half-tucked underneath your pillow, the display already lighting up again. someone is desperate for attention, you think to yourself and unlock your phone with an annoyed sigh. the messages were coming from an unknown number.

thinking about your wet pussy. this is eren, btw. historia gave me your number. i told her you wouldn't mind you don't mind, do you?

in a matter of seconds, your heart is beating in your throat once more, just like this afternoon in that godforsaken computer lab. ears growing hot at his words, you could almost imagine the sound of him laughing at you again. with trembling fingers, you scroll down further.

anyway, let's do it again sometime i told you. i'll never let you forget about how you moaned my name i'm also not forgetting about how badly i want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours, so it's a win-win see ya, then

staring down at your phone, you don't know if you should answer him. and even if you would answer his texts, what the hell should you say? "fucking bastard," the words escaping your mouth before even realizing that you'd better keep quiet. the only thing that could make this situation any worse was if sasha were to wake up again.

scratch that, you think as you see eren's new messages.

how badly do you want to suck my cock? you looked really hot today, covered in my cum what, you're shy again?

there are two ways this could go: either you stand up, put on some clothes, and then go to eren's dorm to let hell rain upon him - or simply mute your phone and ignore him. deciding to go with the latter, you lie back down and save his number as "fuckhead", a small grin forming on your face. if he wants to be childish, then you can be, too.

the display still lighting up at a steady pace, you have to fight the urge to open his other messages. to physically prevent yourself from grabbing your phone again, you put your hands between your thighs and sigh. what the hell have i gotten myself into?

"so, who am i gonna have to teach some manners today?", sasha asks in the morning, "because there are only two valid reasons for sending that many texts in the middle of the night," she sits up in her bed and bends over to reach for her phone, "either someone's dead or there's a food sale."

cringing at the thought of having to read the countless other messages eren has sent throughout the night, you try to laugh at her comment, "of course, when there's food involved, you're all for it."

"girl's gotta eat," she claims, thankfully being too distracted by something on her phone to notice your strange behavior, "i'm gonna be back later than usual today, connie wants me to be his wingman again."

starting to go off on a tangent about how connie should just get a dating app already, sasha's words become more of background noise to you. you want to know what he wrote. what he has in store for you. at the same time, you curse yourself out. you're turning into a headless chicken and all of it because of eren fucking yeager?

you nod here and there, offering her a "yes" at what you believe to be fitting moments, desperately hoping she doesn't catch up on your restlessness. all the while the two of you are getting ready for the day. this goes on for a few more minutes and you have no clue what she's talking about now, so you decide to grab your phone and stand up.

"i'm gonna go for a run around campus, you want coffee?" you blurt out, interrupting her monologue. the device in your hand feels as if it's burning through your skin. slipping into your trainers, you're already halfway out the room, her perplexed "uh- yes, please," being muffled by the door closing behind you.

it's still warm outside - not as hot as yesterday, but warm enough for you to be glad to have forgotten your cardigan earlier. you let out a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. even though you told sasha you'd be out for a run, you walk at a slow pace.

some people are already wandering around campus, most of them on their way to a lecture. at this time in the morning, everyone has their heads full with their own worries so no one notices you slowly making your way off-campus.

arriving at a little park surrounded by trees, you sit down on the bench farest off. you notice your heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird when pulling the phone out of your back pocket. fuck him, you think once again while typing in your code. fuck him for making me feel this way.

12 unread messages.

didn't seem all too shy when i had my hand wrapped around your throat no need to play hard to get when i already had you if that makes sense? haven't fucked you yet doesn't mean i won't get to fuck you

all you want is to feel appalled by these messages. to screenshot them and send them to the dean. maybe even to his mother. sickened with yourself though, you already feel the familiar warmth creeping up your body, curling up in your abdomen.

i know you want it, too how fucking needy you were for me getting yourself off in public to the thought of me maybe you can tell me what exactly you were thinking of? gonna make sure to let your dreams come true, princess

pet names? you clench your fist at the thought of eren leaning over you, breathing the word princess into your ear. you have an inkling that he'd say it mockingly; spitting it out whilst gathering your hair in a ponytail, arching your back forcefully, and slamming his length into you without mercy.

no. you hate pet names. at least, you've always hated them.

i'm gonna find out if you're ignoring me right now remember, you're not the best actress. fucking suck at it, actually wouldn't want to be punished now, would we?

his last message echoed in your head. still coming to terms with the fact of what happened yesterday, now you have to deal with a whole new revelation: eren yeager being a cocky motherfucker pushing all the right buttons for you. even though you want to blast his ass for this, the mere thought of him being near you again is too sweet of an imagination.

you want to play this game, too. for whatever reason keep on riding this high, and you just know that no one could do it quite as well as eren can. somehow you can only imagine taking him on this ride with you, no one else.

so, in that manner you decide to ignore his messages. if he's desperate enough to keep on sending them in the middle of the night, you're sure it won't be long until he sends another text. and it would give him enough reason to try and punish you, whatever that might entail – you're excited to find out. fucking nervous, too. but then again, who wouldn't be?

you stand up and put your phone in your back pocket, a sense of excitement surrounding your steps as you turn left to make your way to the nearest coffee shop.

"something tells me you're ignoring me," of course, the moment eren's voice comes up behind you, you fucking flinch like a little bird that's been scared away, "mostly because i've seen you reading the messages, but what do i know?"

you turn to see him clutching his heart dramatically, "don't play with my feelings like this," he swoons, bringing one hand to his forehead. he's laughing again, all white teeth and bright smiles – you realize this is the kind of eren you rarely get to see. not the cocky bastard he normally portrays; right now, he seems to be a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, just enjoying himself. still, you want to show him that you can play just as well as he can.

crossing your arms in front of your chest, you slightly raise a brow, trying your hardest to not look as nervous as you feel. it's a lost cause though because you can already feel the tips of your ears glowing with heat again. can't things go my way for once? just once? you think and chew the inside of your cheek. you felt so sure of yourself just moments ago. how the hell can he have this sort of effect on you?

suddenly, his whole demeanor changes. before, he seemed laid-back, entertained by the game he played with you. now he leans forward, hands in the pockets of his jacket and an almost cruel smile forming on his lips, "don't try to challenge me in this. you'll lose."

you know that you should feel frightened. terrified, even. he's looking like a lion preparing to jump the antelope, a sense of alarming calmness around him that's causing the small hairs on your neck to stand up. but alas, the way he's looking at you seems to have the same effect on you his scent has.

"i told you not to ignore me," eren says and takes a few steps closer to you, "yet here you are, doing it again." the chuckle leaving his lips a stark contrast to his stern gaze, still trained on you. somehow, you feel awfully small again - still not frightened, though. you stare right back at him, tilting your head slightly as if you wanted to say "so what?"

"are you seriously that desperate to be punished?"

better now than never, you think and once again place a courtly smile on your lips, "seems like it."

for a split second, you see eren's smug look turn into a genuine smile. realizing that you're up for his game, he lets out a smooth whistle, "you do surprise me."

"if you wouldn't always be so full of yourself, i'm sure you'd have recognized this sooner," you can feel the confidence growing in yourself again. clinging on to it, you take a step toward him, "i'm full of surprises."

"oh, yeah? i bet you are," from the corner of your eye, you can see him lifting his hand. before thinking twice about it, you bat it away, "i'm not one for public displays of affection."

oh, it is on– eren's smirk turns into a full-fledged grin as he takes a grip of your wrist, "you sure about that?" lifting your hand to his face, for a short moment you think he's going to suck on your fingers again. but all he does is place a faint kiss on the back of your hand, "didn't seem like it yesterday."

"you weren't supposed to see."

"but i'm so glad i did," he leans forward, the two of you standing so close you can feel his breath on your face, "or else we wouldn't have this kind of fun right now."

still having a hold of your hand, he lifts his other to your jaw, gently tracing his thumb across your lower lip, "you looked so pretty in your skirt yesterday."

taking a leap of faith, you grab his hand, holding it in place and letting your tongue run across the tip of his thumb before biting down playfully. there's a hiss and then eren pulls away and grabs your arm, "come with me."

finally, you think and let him guide you to wherever he wants, let's have some fun, then.

on your way out of the park, you pass jean and marco. even though they stand to greet eren, he just raises his hand whilst not breaking his pace, "gotta go, have an assignment to work on."

"never seen you that determined, but go off," jean laughs.

before you know it, you're inside one of the countless maintenance sheds. pushing you against the wall, eren's movements seem to become more and more erratic by the second. pinning your arms over your head, he's looking down at you, breathing heavily. "you have no idea what you just got yourself into," licking his lips, he chuckles.

"oh, but i think i actually do," you smile innocently, fucking glad to have found your normal self again. admittedly, eren threw you off your game since yesterday – but it's just going to play into your hands now. he won't see it coming until it's hitting him straight in the face; that you're just as messed up as he seems to be.

"then prove it," he breathes against your ear, "tell me how badly you want it."

the stuffy air inside the dimly lit shed doesn't help with keeping eren's scent away from you. being so close to him, looking up into his shadowed face and right into his dilated eyes; you're like putty in his hands. you try to move forward, to touch him in some way because you just know that he'll feel so good under your skin.

"now now, princess," he moves even closer, wedging you between himself and the wall, "how about we learn some patience, first?"

you nod, but then grind up against his thigh, hissing through your teeth, "i worry i'll be a real handful." you know you could very well move your hands, too – eren seems to still be testing the waters as to how far he can go with you. but with him actually letting you grind on him; you decide to play into his hands.

your breaths grow quicker as you keep on, pace becoming erratic. all you want is to get rid of your track pants – come to think of it, what you actually want is eren under you whilst you continuously bounce on his cock. you want to hear him call you princess and immediately after call you his little whore because that's exactly what you are.

eren has a little smile on his lips and you know you should ask yourself why – because you're doing exactly what he has forbidden you to do – but you're too far gone. the heat growing, you feel your knees buckle but he's holding you up; one hand now resting on your waist for support. you're so close –

and then he pulls away from you, nearly causing you to topple over. chest heaving, you place your hands on your knees for balance, "what the fuck was – "

"patience is a virtue," interrupting you with a laugh, but his voice heavy with lust, "thought i might give you a lesson you're ought to remember."

you look up to see eren palming his erection through his pants, standing about an arm's length away from you, "but i have to admit, hearing you getting yourself off is fucking hot."

biting your teeth together, you straighten up and take a step toward him – only for him to click his tongue in disapproval, "you're gonna stay right there," tugging at his pants he raises his eyebrow, "i told you what i want, get on your knees for me."

"the fuck i will," you spit out and make a move again, grasping for his waistband. but eren is quick to take a hold of your hand and pushes you back to the wall, "come on, now, princess," he chuckles but his eyes are concentrated at you, "you want this, don't you?". he's asking for permission, the thought feeling very comforting to you. and also, very excited for what's about to come.

"of course, i do," you answer him earnestly, resting the back of your head against the wall, "or else i wouldn't be here."

"fantastic," he breathes, a little smile playing in the corners of his mouth, "then get down on your knees," placing his hands on your shoulders, weighing you down, "i won't ask again."

the change of tone in his voice has you nodding, slowly sinking onto your knees, you're bursting in anticipation. one hand finally pulling down his pants, he runs his other through your hair, then down your jaw until it comes to rest on your chin.

thumbing at your lower lip, he groans "do i have to be careful?"

you just shake your head no. then you break away from his gaze, fixing your eyes on the bobbing cock in front of you. it's tip leaking with precum already, you remember how badly you wanted to lick it away yesterday.

taking his cock at its base, you bend forward and slide your tongue around its head. the salty taste sending shudders down your spine, you make sure to lift your eyes again once you prepare to take it all down your throat. your other hand snakes up to his balls, slightly tugging them which earns you a moan from eren, and fuck, you're so wet at the sound alone, you let go of his cock and slide one hand down to your own center.

he gathers your hair in one hand, taking the base of his throbbing cock in the other, "bet this is what you thought of yesterday," he slowly but surely pulls your head in closer, "of how i fuck the words right out of you."

bucking your hips into your own hand, you can do nothing but whimper at his words. because yes, this is exactly what you imagined. he's only halfway in and you're already struggling to breathe, but not wanting him to stop you hold your breath and push down even further; trying desperately not to moan.

the tears in your eyes causing your vision to be blurry, you attempt to blink them away.

"shit – ", he's pumping into you now, rubbing the tears from your cheeks and then placing both his hands on your head, "you're doing so well – "

getting lost in his words, the fear of being caught is so far away; you finally moan around his cock. saliva soaking the hem of his shirt, you can't seem to take his whole length, no matter how hard you try. you're a fucking mess under him and the thought alone is nearly sending you over the edge.

he's trying to pull away now and you know he's close, so you snake your hand around his hip, hoping this is enough of a sign to him that if he dared to cum anywhere else than down your throat, you'd bite him.

"you really – " his voice is hoarse, "fuck – this is fucking perfect," he moans as he comes to the realization. leaning his arm against the wall behind you, he's fucking himself into your mouth, his panting and the sound of your choking filling the room.

you close your eyes to blink the tears away again, but eren pulls on your hair, "no – look at me."

with this the knot in your belly explodes, leaving you holding on to eren's hip as you ride the waves of electricity that are running through your body like lava.

"such a good little whore – " he's gone as well, holding your head in place as he's pumping his load down your throat, leaving you no other option than to swallow – which you eagerly do. you feel his legs shaking under your hands.

once again, eren hands you his shirt to clean your face. this time, you take it with a smile, noting that, "i still have your other one."

"don't worry, i'll come get it sometime when sasha's away," the two of you know exactly what this means – neither of you are planning on this to be over anytime soon.

"i'll let you know, then," you nod and stand up, hoping you don't look as well-fucked as you feel, and make your way to the door, "she's gone most of the time."

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[itsclydebitches]

Why do people get hung up on whether a gay person in media is a good or bad representation of them? I'm gay and I can tell you we aren't all the same? Being gay is our 1 common trait. So as long as they're gay then you've done it. Gay people can be kind, mean, racist, open, kinky, reserved, shy, outgoing, sexist, and literally anything else under the human experience.

Because I am perpetually hungry, let's tell a story about cookies.

You are a bright-eyed, optimistic, baker in the making. Your goal is to wow the world with your culinary skills, so of course you head to The Best Baking School for your degree. Over the course of your studies you learn how to perfect a thousand different cakes, an equal number of pies, and more versions of brownies than most would even assume exist. But cookies... oh, cookies are your passion! You can't wait to learn about the wealth of cookies you can make too. Then, sure enough, that part of your education finally arrives.

Funny thing is though, it's just chocolate chip.

Surely there's been some mistake? The cookie experience is vast and nuanced! Why in the world are your instructors — supposedly the best in the world — reducing cookies to a single class about baking chocolate chip and chocolate chip alone? Hell, why are cookies so sparse in the curriculum as a whole? You're never asked to bake them as a demonstration, or practice with them, and they're definitely not a given across everyone else's baking experience. Cakes, pies, and brownies... they're the default. Cookies are comparatively rare and when you do get to study them, everyone is super focused on the chocolate chip.

Then you graduate and head out into the world, only to find that pretty much everyone is as cookie-blind as your school. A few years back you never would have found cookies in the average grocery store and yeah, the fact that there's a cookie section now is great, but it's, uh... all chocolate chip! Many bakeries still don't carry cookies at all, but when they do it's - again - chocolate chip. Chocolate chip out in restaurants. Chocolate chip at the bake sale. Your friend invites you over and proudly presents a massive sweets tray that includes a single, sad looking, chocolate chip cookie. They beam at you in pride. Isn't it so great?

"Uh..." you say. "Well..."

Every once in a while someone will switch out milk chocolate for dark chocolate, or add nuts alongside chocolate chips. One bakery was even crazy enough to exclude chocolate chips entirely! Crazy according to the press, anyway. Because for years now you've been shaking your head, wondering what exactly is so progressive about realizing that sugar cookies exist. You've found other bakers interested in cookies and, by god, there are thousands. So many flavors! Gluten free and allergy conscious! Someone even made a sweets tray that was predominantly cookies, can you believe it? The problem is, almost none of them are mainstream. Your friend baking cookies out of their personal kitchen is doing fantastic work, but their baking doesn't have the impact that those grocery chains and established bakeries do. Their work isn't going to fix your school's curriculum. Too many people still think that cookies are exotic somehow. They're not the default. And when they do acknowledge their existence, it's chocolate chip over and over. Until one of them adds those nuts and suddenly the whole country is losing its mind about how inspired, creative, progressive their baking is. Meanwhile, you're ready to scream because that baker doesn't even know that something as "exotic" as a gingersnaps exist!

The worst part? Most of these cookies are... bad. Like they exist, yeah, but good god most don't taste good. And that's the whole point of a cookie?? What is the point of buying cookies if the cookies themselves are awful? You go to these bakeries, these restaurants, your friend's house, and you try the very limited cookies on offer, only to find that they've been sloppily baked. Doesn't anyone care that the baker burned their cookies to a crisp? That another straight up forgot to add sugar? This one dropped his on the floor and still tried to serve it to you! But the overall sense is that you should be grateful for getting any cookies at all. "That cookie is an offense to my taste buds," you say and people shake their head at you, disappointed. "I liked the taste of it," one says. "If you don't like it, go buy a different cookie!" Well... easier said than done. "It's not that bad," another says, shrugging in defeat. "I mean yeah, I don't really like it, and the baker stopped making them two years ago... but I'm just happy to have had any cookie at all, you know?" You do know, but that doesn't mean it's any less frustrating. You look at the hundreds of cakes available, these bakers spending decades perfecting their recipes, and wish cookies had even a fraction of that work put into them. You find people who agree with you, absolutely, but there's this this prevailing sense that a cookie is a cookie. Any cookie will do. Supposedly.

Except go long enough and you feel like you're ready to lose your mind. You take some poor person by the shoulders and go, "Doesn't this bother you? Doesn't this make you furious? There is more to the cookie world than these three flavors, 90% of which is chocolate chip! And we deserve well-made cookies, not the crap they've been upholding as the next culinary masterpiece!"

But this person just shakes their head. "Well of course there's more to cookies than three flavors. There's a huge variety of cookies! I know that."

"Yes, but the world isn't selling that variety."

"Of course they are! Just last week I had an oatmeal raisin. That's amazing!"

"Yeah and how many years did it take you to find that?"

"Well..."

"And how did that oatmeal raisin cookie taste?"

Your prisoner pulls a face. "Ugh, not good. Oatmeal raisin is definitely not for me. It's hard as a rock! I really don't understand why someone would want to eat that on a regular basis."

"But it's not supposed to be hard as a rock!" you cry, waving your arms. "That's the problem! Oatmeal raisin is so goddamn rare and then the one time we get it, it was badly baked. Of course people are turned off by it. Everyone who already loves oatmeal raisin is getting pissed because their favorite cookie is misrepresented, they're unlikely to see more of them now, and everyone is still serving the most tasteless chocolate chip cookies I've ever had, acting like this is the pinnacle of cookie baking! Do you even know that a macron exists?"

The person pats your hand consolingly. "Of course I do. My roommate's sister's boyfriend used to bake macrons, you know. I don't know why you're so hung up on this. Cookies can be whatever the baker wants them to be. Provided they're a flat-ish sweet cake, they're still a cookie!"

You hang your head, giving up. "Yes, they can be so many things, but they're not. Let me know if you ever find a bakery actually making the variety you keep acknowledging exists. Bonus points if those cookies are edible. My soul if they're delicious, as a cookie should be."

"You know," they say, still patting your hand. "There's a bakery making chocolate chip with dark chocolate next year. Everyone is talking about it. You should think about buying one before they take it off the menu!"

You contemplate just walking into the ocean.

Now, incredibly long metaphor concluded... switch out "cookies" for "queer rep"! The representation matters because no, just making them gay isn't enough right now. You're right that queer people can be anything under the sun, but right now media isn't providing us with that variety. It's not enough to acknowledge that such variety exists, it actually has to make it into our books and onto our screen. Taking just characters who identify as gay and putting aside the HUGE variety of other identities for a moment (of which we are mostly lacking in terms of rep), where are the gay asexuals? The gay people of color? The disabled gays? Trans gays? Did your gay character appear for just a handful of episodes? Were they killed off? Are they nothing more than a stereotype or comic relief? Is this the only gay character in your entire story? We need to ask questions like this because though gay people can be anything under the sun, our media landscape has only shown a miniscule portion of that variety.

Today, even in 2021, our representation of gay people is still pretty limited to:

You are only coded as gay and evil

You are only coded as gay and queerbaited

You are canonically gay, but a cis, ablebodied, white person

You are canonically gay, but were written terribly/killed off/punished by the narrative/generally making the real gay people watching you feel awful about their identity

You are canonically gay, but you're not human. Gotta other the queerness by making you an alien/robot/fantasy being

You are canonically gay and that's your entire existence. There is one (1) narrative of how you knew by the time you were four, never questioned your identity after that, suffered through a family that rejected you, and now all your major arcs revolve around being gay. You are gay and that is it.

Despite being a list of six, that's still incredibly limiting. Are there exceptions to such a list? Always, but that doesn't mean the list isn't still dominating. We can look at any individual gay character and say, "Of course they can be evil/white/killed off/a joke/etc. because gay people can be anything at all," but when we look at the trends, when we look at ALL the media together, we see that gay people aren't actually depicted as being anything... they're depicted as being these handful of things, severely limiting how gayness is represented. Bad rep. If you hit up the bakery and question why there's only versions of chocolate chip available yeah, the baker can go, "But cookies can be any flavor! Including chocolate chip!" They are not, technically, wrong. The problem is not that chocolate chip exists, but that chocolate chip dominates and other flavors are rare, ignored entirely, or baked so badly it's actively damaging to that flavor as a whole. Yeah, your gay character can be mean. Or kinky. Or murdered by the story. But when so many gay characters are mean and kinky and murdered by their stories — when you're not getting other versions to balance that out and gay characters are still rare enough that it's just 1-2 characters trying to carry representation for an entire franchise — you start realizing that the claim of "Gay people can be anything else under the human experience" is an easy way to shut down the conversation of whether that variety actually exists in our storytelling yet.

It's not enough for the baker to acknowledge that yeah, of course there are hundreds of cookie flavors and of course cookies taste great! They've actually got to learn how to bake them properly and fill up their store with them.

[oddsnendsfanfics]

Unraveling in the Sheets

Genre: Fan Fiction

Pairing: Henry Cavill/OFC

Warnings: Language, Sexual Content, NSFW

Rating: M

Length: Short Story

Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.

A/N: Spoiler Alert, there is smut. Be warned. It's there.

Also, I am no longer doing tags on posts. Since my list exceeds the tag limit. Please feel free to join the chat in place of the tag list.

Henry Cavill Master List

“How did you do it though?” Gliding the car into a free parking space, Henry glanced at Nell in the passenger's seat.

“How did I do what?” Eyeing him curiously, she tried to hide her gloating smile. She could be a terrible winner, even if she wasn't the winner, she had came ahead of Henry.

“You know what I mean, Nelly.”

He looked so silly, his new mustache curling when he laughed or smiled. Nell had to admit, if any man could wear the 'stache Henry did it well.

“Oh, you mean how did I suddenly leave your ass behind and finish nearly 50 positions ahead?” She laughed, crinkling her nose. “I told you, I've been working hard for this. Besides, you're too big. You move slower than I do. It's that simple. Maybe next year, you will finish ahead of me.”

“You're impossible.” Unbuckling his seat belt, Henry hurried to get out of the car and around to the other side, before Nell could open her own door. Nearly there, he frowned when she opened the door, stepping out of the Aston Martin. “You were supposed to let me open that.”

“I am supposed to do a lot of things that I do not.” Nell grabbed her hand bag. “I'll let you open the door, next time. You big dork.”

Henry was always the gentleman, even when Nell would rather rip his eyes out than speak to him in a civil manner. Not that she ever felt the former much, but on the rare occasion. Sometimes that's how things went for ex-lovers. The mid May air was growing cool, leaving a few goosebumps on Nell's exposed arms. She had expected to be back before now, which is why she'd left her sweater in the hotel.

“Well, happy late birthday. It was nice having dinner with your family. I've missed them.”

“They've missed you, too. I could tell that dad was happy you came along. He hasn't talked that much during a dinner since the last time you came over.” Henry smiled fondly. "I'm glad that you came, Nelly." Hands in his pockets, Henry sauntered along beside Nell. Approaching the main entrance, he held the door allowing her to enter. 

When he'd invited her for the weekend, he wasn't confident that she would come. Wrapped up in work, Nell didn't take too much time away from Dublin these days.

"It was a nice break from work." Tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, Nell bit her bottom lip. "I know that you are busy, but do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"I always have time to talk with you." Scanning the hotel lobby, Henry tried to find a spot for them to sit and chat privately. "Should we have a seat at the bar?"

"We could, but I would really like to change. Do you mind coming up with me? We can just talk in the room. It's probably more comfortable anyway."

"Is this about the wild boy?"

"Isn't it always?" 

Laughing, Henry pushed the call button for the elevator. Their son was truly something else. One day he would surely take over the world; Henry could see that coming from the day he was born.  To say Ivan was Henry's pride and joy would be a massive understatement. He lived for their son. This weekend having Ivan, and Nell, in Jersey had been fantastic. A short glimpse of what life could have been. The ding of the elevator brought Henry back from his brief fantasy.

He and Nell had split up several years ago, there wasn't much chance she would feel the same as he did. Lost in the thoughts of happy little family. Allowing Nell to step onto the elevator first, Henry stood silently with his hands clasped in front of him.

“So, Ivan has been doing well in school?” He may as well get this under way.

“Define doing well,” Nell snickered. “I get a call nearly every day from his teacher. The woman is impossible, but knowing our son, he isn't making it easy for her.”

“I was like that in school. Right up until the day I left.” Henry shrugged. The elevator gently bumping to a stop, he stepped forward to hold the door for Nell.

Muttering a thank you, Nell dug for her key card, leading the way down the hall. She loved this hotel, it was the only one she stayed in, if she could help it, while visiting the Island. A great view of the water on one side, the other dazzling with a fantastic look out into the city. The first time she'd ever been to Jersey, she had stayed in the hotel and fell in love with the charm. There were days when that felt like a life time ago.

Opening the door, Nell paused to allow Henry in. “Have a seat. Anywhere you'd like. Sorry it's kind of a mess. I'm going to change.”

The hotel room was anything but a mess, minus the few sketch books that Nell had dropped on the bed. Always working. Henry took a seat on the edge of the king sized bed, casually glancing at the colour coded notes and designs that Nell had in one of the open sketch books. Costumes. A few notes detailed leather armor and Viking era clothing. She'd done well for herself, since he'd met her. The same shy costume apprentice hiding out on set of The Tudors, was now helping drive forward the details of Vikings.

In the bathroom, Nell pulled off her dress. The fabric had became clingy after a while and she needed to be more relaxed. Running shorts and a tshirt would do the trick. Sighing at her reflection, she bit her bottom lip glancing down at her top. The worn coral Nike tshirt was her favourite, it was showing the love and wear in a few spots. Perhaps she should have picked something less frumpy? She was a busy, single mom she didn't have to look the part. Ah fuck, who cared. Henry certainly wouldn't.

He was here to discuss their son, not flirt with her until she gave in to that smile. Or got lost in his eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes – the left with the flecks of brown. His charm alone was enough to make anyone weak in the knees. Damn it, she needed to get over it. He had moved on. She needed to do the same.

Blowing out a breath, Nell reached for the door, pausing when she heard Henry talking. His tone told her that he was speaking to Ivan. Quietly slipping out of the bathroom, she smiled.

“Hold on, just a sec.” He pushed the screen of his phone, allowing the speaker to connect. “Alright, wild boy. Say goodnight to your mum.”

“Mum, momma, mum.” Ivan's voice filled the room. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Ivan. Are you being a good boy?”

“Uh huh. I love you. Good night.”

“Good night, wild boy. I love you.”

“Night dad.”

“Good night, I love you. I'm going to be back soon, you go to bed and I will see you first thing in the morning.”

“Okay. Oh, dad, can Kal sleep in my room tonight?” Ivan was fond of the large black and white American Akita. Henry laughed.

“Of course he can. You and Kal go to bed, now.”

“Okay, bye.” A little too quickly, Ivan hung up the phone. Henry laughed at the eagerness, he would talk to his mother when he got back to the house. Making sure that Ivan and his dog had gone to bed as they were told, with no fuss.

"Can you believe he is growing this fast? My god where has that time gone?" Henry rubbed his hands against his face. His mustache and subtle stubble scratching his palms. 

"Time is a cruel mistress." Rubbing her hands on her shorts, Nell stood. "Drink? I have a bottle of Johnnie Walker." 

"Of course you do." Smirking, Henry shifted on the side of the bed. “I had a look at some of these designs, by the way. They're magnificent. My god, Nell, you are so talented.”

“You're saying that to be nice,”

Shaking his head, Henry accepted the glass, resting it on his knee. “No, I am saying it because its true. You are one of the most talented costumers that I had ever met. Are you enjoying the job?”

“I love it.” Nell smiled, leaning against the large wooden desk in the corner. “The work is great, the people are amazing, and Ivan is really enjoying it. I'm glad we went.”

“Good, that's good. He talks about it, a lot. He really seems to love being there. I'm glad. Once things settle, I am going to try and come visit. I kind of miss it, Dublin.”

“You should.” She smiled fighting the urge to scoff and roll her eyes. Henry was always busy. He'd make it to Dublin, when Hell froze over. “So, how is work coming on this new character.”

“I can't say much, but I can say that I will be happy when I can shave.” He rubbed the mustache expertly. “It's not as bad as some of the beards that I've had to grow, but it's not my favourite look.”

“You look good with a beard. I know you hate them, but you do.”

Leaning forward to set his glass on the bedside table, Henry licked the whiskey off of his lips. “I'm glad to have that compliment.”

“Sure.” Nell nodded, tipping her glass to finish the drink. “Another?”

“Uh, I'm good.” Henry motioned to his glass. Rubbing his hands across his jeans, he furrowed his brow. “I've been thinking, since I am fairly busy the next few months, what if I keep Ivan for a few extra days? Once you leave, I will take him back to London with me, until I have to go.”

Shifting on the bed, her face warm from the second glass of whiskey, Nell sniffled and cleared her throat. “What about school?”

“What about it? He isn't going to miss much, is he? They're nearly finished up and I don't know how long it will be, until I see him. Possibly not until Christmas.”

All he wanted was to spend a little time with his son, was that so hard? His next move would have to be calculated, Nell had been known to stat arguments over less. If Henry wanted to avoid a shouting match, he would have to go about this carefully. Reaching for his glass, he downed the remaining contents in one large gulp. Sighing.

“I want to hang out with him a little. It wouldn't be more than three days extra. Then you get some time alone, as well. Nell, I know that you need a bit of a break. You work so hard and take care of Ivan, please.”

“If you want to, then I suppose I can't really say no. What kind of mother would I be, if I didn't let you see him?”

“Don't say things like that, please.” Henry reached out, his hand taking hers. Gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. “You are a wonderful mum. You know that.”

“Sometimes, I feel like I could do better. I really do.” Nell shrugged, allowing Henry to continue holding her hand.

“All parents feel that way, I am sure. I know that I feel like that, all the time. I guess it's natural, always wanting to do better, to be better, for our children.”

There he went again. There were times when Nell could not stand to be near him, other times she wanted to be as close as possible. Damn it. Watching him talk about Ivan and the few extras days they would be together, Henry's eyes lit up. His smile broad and the enthusiasm in his voice was one that dictated proud father. Nell nodded, only because she felt it was appropriate to the conversation.

Henry continued to chatter about how he wanted to take Ivan to a new exhibit at the Natural History Museum, in London. Leave it to the father and son, finding a day at the museum to be high on the list of fun. Nell sighed, continuing to half listen, half gaze at Henry in awe. One thing she loved – well love could be a strong word – adored? Enjoyed? About Henry was how much he loved Ivan.

Mid sentence about some Sir David Attenborough documentary that he'd watched with Ivan; Nell couldn't help it any longer. Leaning in, without warning, she grabbed Henry's face turning it to her and kissing him. Lips connecting, she stopped and jumped back as if hit by an electric shock.

Clearing his throat, Henry rubbed the back of his neck, but not pulling back. “I didn't know that the National Geographic was that exciting.”

“I'm sorry.” Hiding her face in her hands, Nell shook her head. Oh that had been a mistake. She had absolutely no right. None. Henry was crazy, if he didn't get up right now and walk out. If he was angry, then she deserved that.

Blushing, Nell shook her head. “Henry, I shouldn't have.”

“I'm certainly not going to complain.” He shrugged, leaning in his arm sliding around her shoulder. Nell glanced up, getting the nerves to look at him. Oh she had fucked up. “Next time, I would like some warning though.”

“Warning? Next time?”

“Hmm, yes. Kind of like this, close your eyes.” Henry instructed pulling her closer and kissing her. Nell sighed her body melting against him. She loved the way his lips felt on hers. Soft, with a slight force.

Straddling his waist, her arms wrapped around his neck, Nell's fingers laced together. Her lips leaving his, tracing along his jaw, nearing the sweet spot below his ear. A slight nip and he was an unraveling mess. Henry nuzzled his face into her hair, she smelled amazing. Comforting and warm. A groan erupted from deep in his throat, as predicted she had gone straight for that spot.

“Nell, Nell,” Henry cleared his throat, holding her at arm's length, “Janelle, stop.” Looking for any sort of sign that she truly felt that this wasn't a good idea, he sucked in a breath. “Are you sure about this? Because if we continue, I won't stop until...”

“I am.” She nodded firmly, “I don't want you to stop. I don't want to stop. Oh god, Henry. Please.”

“I need to know that you truly, absolutely want to do this.”

“If you don't stop talking and bend me over, I am going to kick you out and do this myself. Please, stop talking. If I didn't want this, I wouldn't have started it.”

A deep rumbling laugh followed, Henry rolled his eyes. God, she was something else. Who was he to deny a gorgeous woman what she wanted? Would this come back to haunt him? Probably. Did he care? Not much. Come morning they would once again go their separate ways, but that didn't matter right now. Right now, he could pretend that he had everything he wanted. And what he wanted was her.

Pulling her to him, Henry kissed her hard. Nell moaned, the force of the kiss was nearly dizzying. Arms around his neck, she rubbed her body against his, trying to grasp the friction that was created when she started to grind herself against his thighs.

“Henry,”

“Hold on, you need patience.” He brushed a bit of hair out of her face, “all in good time.”

Nell squealed when he stood, her legs desperately scrambling to hold onto him. In a futile attempt she huffed, when he let her go, standing in front of him pouting. Unbuttoning his shirt, Henry smirked giving her a heated stare. “Well, are you going to get on the bed or make me do all the work? Shorts off.”

Sliding the mesh shorts down her ass and along her legs, Nell made a bit of a show letting them pool at her feet. Stepping out, as slowly as possible, while lifting the old tshirt from her body. Allowing it to go where it would, as she dropped it. Sitting back on the bed, she could feel her heart in her throat and her stomach where her heart should be.

“Lie back.” Henry instructed, kneeling at the edge of the bed. Arms around her thighs, guiding her to him, he studied her for a moment. She was trembling as his fingers slid across her thighs, positioning her in just the right way.

“Oh god, Hen-Henry.” Nell's mouth was suddenly dry and her voice hoarse. His hot breath between her legs was tormenting her, in unimaginable ways. In anticipation she bucked her hips forward, trying to clench her thighs. Holding her knees with his shoulders, Henry chuckled.

“Eager.”

“Please.”

“You are...” He lingered, kissing the inside of her leg. “Gorgeous. Look at you.” He brushed his thumb against her. Nell whimpered trying to push further. “Hold on, hold on.”

“Why are you teasing me?”

“Because I want to enjoy the view, for a moment.” He shrugged, her legs lifting gently. A hand on her lower abdomen, as if holding her in place, he used the other to gently tease and trace along her calf. Without warning, his lips attached to the most sensitive part of her body with his mustache adding an extra sensation, Nell bucked her hips hard, shoving his face further between her thighs.

Nell's head was swimming, it had been a while since she'd felt this good from such an act. Sure, she'd had the odd date here and there, semi-serious relationships, but nobody could do this the way Henry could. He was a fucking magician, she was certain of it. Humming against her mound, Henry couldn't hide the laughter in his eyes, when she began to squirm and wiggle against his face. She was desperate and he was going to prolong this as much as he could.

Sucking her clit, his tongue generously lapping at her, he thoroughly enjoyed the show. Pushing his head as far down as she could, Nell was nearly in tears each time he leaned in, his mustache tickling in just the right way. Oh god, she gasped trying hard to find release. Henry was cunning, backing off at the right moments.

“Henry,” She whined, threading her fingers through his hair. “Don't tease me, I really need you to finish.”

“Stop being so impatient.” He was teasingly stern. Pushing her hands away, he locked his fingers with hers, holding them at her side. Lifting his head, he smirked, kissing up her body ending with another dizzying kiss. Nell sucked on his tongue, freeing her hands from his, she tugged him closer, pulling at fistfuls of hair.

Cleaning herself from his tongue and lips, she sighed. “I'm going to need more than that.”

“You're sure?” Henry paused, holding his weight on his forearms, resting above her. His jeans still on, he could feel the strain against the denim.

“Jeans, off.” She demanded, sitting up to watch. Shivering against the slight chill, her breasts on display giving him the perfect view of her erect nipples. Nell blushed under his gaze. She was not the tight, toned, and perky body she once was. She wasn't out of shape, by any means, but compared to Henry...

“You are gorgeous.” Henry complimented, his jeans on the floor, boxers being pushed down to join them. Stepping out of his pants, he stood at the side of the bed, in all his glory.

Nell licked her lips, reaching out to take him in her hand. Hissing under her touch, Henry involuntarily bucked his hips forward into her hand. Rubbing the head, Nell intently watched Henry while she leaned in taking him fully in her mouth.

“Fuck, Nelly.”

“Hmm,” She hummed, sliding her head back along his length. Hand wrapped around him, stroking in place of her mouth. Bobbing her head back down, she swirled her tongue around the base. He nearly choked her the first time she'd ever gone down on him. Oh how long ago that felt.

Dragging her tongue against his length, she felt her core tighten, with each moan Henry gave. His slight salty taste mixed with the aftertaste of the Johnnie Walker, Nell inhaled deeply through her nose, hollowing her cheeks around him. Gripping the back of her head, Henry tried to not force her too hard, as he began to guide her movement.

Happy to go along with what he needed to feel good, Nell allowed him control over her guidance. Her finger nails grazing the back of his thighs, she mentally checked the small victory when he threw his hips forward at the sensation of her wrapped around him and her nails on his skin.

“Good girl,” Henry mumbled, his head lulling back, his chest rising rapidly. “Keep it up, just like that. Oh shit,”

Nell's chest swelled a little, she could still make him feel good, even after all of this time apart. That was not something she would take lightly, even if this shouldn't be happening. Oh fuck, who cared? They were two consenting adults. Henry's legs quivered, his hands unsteady stroking the back of her head.

“Nell,”

“Hmm?” She glanced up at him. His face soft and his jaw slack, she could feel him tightening. The perfect time to stop her actions. “Not yet,” She smirked, wiping her hand across her chin, drool gone. “Fair is fair.”

“Jesus,” Henry grumbled. He had been so fucking close, the knot in the pit of his stomach clenched Slowing his breathing, he took a moment to think of anything else. Laundry? Running? How much longer until he had to renew his passport?

“Henry?”

“Yeah?” He snapped his head to look at Nell.

“Are we going to stand here all night, or...” She shrugged, a devious smirk on her face. Laying back on the bed, she curled her finger beckoning him to her.

“You're still sure about this?” Henry asked. His eyes on her, waiting to see if she had any hint of doubt or hesitation.

“I don't have a condom, but I'm clean. It's not like I'm getting pregnant, so....” If she were to get pregnant, there was going to be on hell of a hefty lawsuit against that surgeon.

“You're sure? I know that I'm...but I don't have.”

“if you don't want to, then I understand.”

“I do, though, but...”

Nell shook her head. “No buts. If you want me, then I'm yours.”

“Fuck, you're making this hard.”

Giggling, Nell glance down. “I think we're beyond things being hard.”

His body betraying him, Henry cleared his throat, she certainly had a point. Fuck it. What did they have to lose? Unless this, some how, came back to bite them. No, no he had to stop that. Give in, enjoy what was happening. It had been too long since he'd been able to watch her in such bliss. Bliss that he was responsible for.

“You're sure?”

Nell nodded siting up, opening her arms, “Come here.”

On the edge of the bed, Henry sighed, his large frame leaning into her. Nell held him for a moment, stroking his hair, the feel of his warmth against her sent shivers through her spine. Pushing him back on the bed, she bit her bottom lip, waiting for the go ahead. Henry gave her a slight nod, adjusting himself on the bed to get comfortable. Straddling his hips, Nell lifted herself to slowly take him.

Sheathing him inch by inch, Nell groaned at the fullness. This was her favourite part, taking him to the end, feeling him stretch her. Rocking her hips forward, she countered the motion sliding them back in the same tantalizing pace. Henry held her hips, pushing his up to meet her. Nell squeaked and giggled. She loved the way he hit all the right spots.

“You can touch me, don't be shy.” Nell winked, lifting her arms and crossing them above her head, allowing him a full view of her breasts. “Go on.” She encouraged.

His large hands cupping her breasts, Henry softly rolled her hardening nipples between his fingers, giving on a slight flick when she moved herself up on his length. Close to letting him slide out, she moved back down, her ass grinding against him.

The way her body moved against his was mesmerizing. Massaging her supple skin, from her breasts down her sides, one hand settling on her ass and the other on her hip. Henry loved the shape, even if she had changed a little since having Ivan. God she was stunning.

Hastening her pace, Nell rocked back and forth, up and down. Henry closed his eyes feeling every bit of movement, each clench. Taking in the sounds of her breathing, mixed with his, her small moans not going unnoticed.

“Henry,” She whispered, biting her bottom lip, leaning forward to touch her lips against his. “Please,”

Without having to be asked twice, he moved swiftly, turning them over to pin her beneath him. Nell sighed and stretched her arms over her head, the pull of her muscles caused another shiver. Her head now against the pillow, she reached, tracing the lines of his face with her fingertip.

“I don't know that I can be as slow as you were.” Henry nipped her finger. Holding back on his desire to pound her into the bed.

“Then don't.” Nell batted her eye lashes at him.

Somehow that was all he needed, that tiny bit of permission. Picking up the pace, Henry grunted. Nell moaned drawing her knees upward, allowing him an even better vantage to this position. As if the pent up emotions from the last few years, hours, minutes had been released the couple were lost in the sensation of skin on skin. The feeling of sparks and electricity coursing through them. Connecting them.

“Fuck, Janelle.” Henry hissed, his arm locked into position on either side of her head, keeping him from tumbling on top of her.

“Henry,” She squealed splaying her hands against his chest, tugging at the soft hairs. “Oh god. Please, don't stop. My god, oh fuck.”

“You are fucking amazing. Fuck, look at you.” Kissing her roughly, he sighed, steadying his pace. His hips slapping hers, Nell shook slightly her soft sobs of pleasure were enough to send him to an end.

Shaking with pleasure, Nell gasped trying to bring herself down from the high. Henry moaned, his head back and chest heaving. It had been a while since he had felt that good. Nell laid with her legs hooked around his thighs, no desire to move. Collapsing with his head on her chest, Henry allowed his body to rest. Sweaty and sticky, they laid tangled together. Neither one wanting to break the feeling.

Dosing in and out, Nell was the first to move. Her body growing heavy with Henry still on top of her. She needed to move, before seizing up. Pushing his head to the side, she giggled and kissed the tip of her nose when he lazily looked up.

“I need to pee,”

“Hmph.” Henry nodded, slowly rolling over. Allowing her to escape. Laying flat on the bed, while she scurried off to the bathroom, Henry pushed himself up off of the bed. He should be getting back to his parents, back to Ivan.

All thoughts of moving were squashed, when Nell came back, climbing in beside him. Her clothes still on the floor. Her body was comforting against his. “Hi,” she whispered, sliding in under his arm.

“Nell?” Henry laid with his arm around her shoulder.

“Huh?” Nell grunted, her face buried in his chest.

“I should head back.”

“If you want to. You can stay, I don't mind.” Nell yawned. Her eyes closing.

“Okay, but only for a little while.” Henry agreed, closing his eyes. In a few minutes, he would get up, shower, and head back.

With a start, Henry woke, a loud banging noise rattling him. Looking around the dark room, he squinted to find the source of the noise. Hearing someone whispering at a distance, Henry laid in bed, listening. Against him, Nell stirred, but didn't wake. Someone in the hall was talking, no doubt they had been the source of the banging. He had fell asleep, Nell wrapped against him.

Looking at his watch, Henry frowned. 4am. If he left right now, he could be back before anybody woke. If he left now, he risked Kal barking and waking the house. If he waited, he would risk walking in and having to explain himself to one or more person. Of course he could tell them that he'd ran into some old friends, had some drinks and stayed on a sofa somewhere. Too drunk to drive.

Shifting in bed, Nell sighed, her arm around his waist she snuggled in closer. She was content, who was Henry to try and disturb her sleep? He would wait an hour or two, before he made his departure. So what if he waltzed in, being faced by one of his brothers, or even his mother. He was an adult, if he wanted to stay out all night enjoying the company of a fantastic woman, then he would do just that.

Kissing the top of Nell's head, Henry smiled, sinking down further into the covers, closing his eyes.

Tag List Chat

[ironwoodprotectionsquad]

Penny being trans + autistic coded made me resonate with her as I am nonbinary and autistic myself. Her being a robot felt like me when I have to hide my neurodivergent traits. Her getting confirmation that she wasn't just a robot/machine but a real girl felt so validating. I don't have to look like everyone else to still be considered "real".

Ironwood's semblance being literal hyperfixiation, something I've dealt with since I have ADHD + autism would have made me feel better about myself. This is a man who, despite everything: his PTSD, being an amputee, still was a kind-hearted man. This is something rarely seen in media. I was happy.

Then they fucked up both Penny and Ironwood in ways that struck me. Penny is hacked into and forced to comply with basically forced suicide- she was to open the vault, then self-destruct.

Ironwood, oh dear god. They couldn't wait to fuck him over. He was so HAPPY to see team RWBYJNROQ. He told them everything about his plan, trusting them with literal GOVERNMENT secrets, giving them a place to stay, FREE weapon upgrades (Atlas is known for its advanced technology), hell even gave them their HUNTRESS LICENSES THREE-ISH YEARS EARLY (which Ruby later uses as a credibility source in her broadcast, which was eerily similar to Cinder's in Volume 3, when she says IRONWOOD CANNOT BE TRUSTED.)

Not to mention that she conveniently forgot she was calling for help from OTHER KINGDOMS. OF COURSE they wouldn't arrive soon enough. And no one had reason to trust her. She's a nobody. She was at the Vytal Festival and her team made it all the way to the singles? Cool. Ruby wasn't the final fighter, hell after the 4 vs 4 match she didn't compete further.

Blake would have obviously been a bad choice: she's a faunus and if anyone knows about the White Fang, they might recognize her.

Yang is more known than Ruby, but the world saw her kick an unarmed teen in the finals round. She doesn't have too good a reputation.

Weiss? She's well known as the Heiress, but also her singing. Having her give the speech is a mixed bag: on one hand, she's a recognizable face. On the other, that's a problem. Her father, the CEO of the SDC, is known for his cruelty. Blake said it herself way back in Volume 1: questionable business practices and partners.

So... How about no broadcast at all? What did her broadcast accomplish?

Nothing. Help didn't arrive and likely caused more panic. Plus, people still had a negative view of Atlas, as the last thing the world saw was Atlesian soldiers turning against civilians.

The last broadcast was before Beacon fell. So likely another hacker giving a message would be met with fear.

And what attracts Grimm? Negativity.

Ruby's broadcast could have been a DEATH SENTENCE to so many. But no, this is treated as the... Right course of action?

Ruby and co. hates Ironwood's plan, yet it's clear they don't have one. RWB spends a lot of time moping around the manor drinking tea. Team YOJR (Yang, Oscar, Jaune and Ren) actually DO SOMETHING. Oscar gets kidnapped and they chase after him. Ren rightfully points out that NONE OF THEM SHOULD BE DOING THIS. But that goes against the Hivemind™, so he must apologize and agree to whatever the fuck Ruby decides to do.

Which is NOTHING! RWBY didn't even take down the hound: WILLOW and WHITLEY did. A drunk woman and an unarmed teen defeated it.

Oscar is the one who blows up the whale (with his time bomb? huh??)

Ruby whines that it's all too much, cries on a staircase while her sister (remember that Ruby and Yang are related????) comforts her. The scene has no emotional depth because the two barely interact anymore.

OH GOD AND WHEN YANG TAKES A HIT FROM NEO THAT WAS MEANT FOR RUBY IT TAKES HER OUT COMPLETELY. AURA? GONE. HELL, SHE'S EVEN UNCONSCIOUS. I swear it's like the animation budget could only afford to have ONE character react, and it's Blake "sad kitty face" Belladonna. Not Ruby, who is her sister. WHO HAS A SPEED SEMBLANCE. But no, they just watch her fall, not knowing if she's alive.

Ruby has more of a reaction to CRESCENT ROSE, HER FUCKING WEAPON falling.

Which is retconned so hard in the Vol 9 trailer, where she tells Neo "I hope it was worth it" before falling into the void. Huh??

Anyways I'm rambling again but I am so angry!

-🎼

Never, ever, EVER apologize for rambling. I LOVE hearing peoples thoughts and sometimes it's a really nice feeling to let out your frustrations and anger towards something that has caused you harm and it really REALLY sounds like this caused you a lot of harm and so I do not blame you one bit for being hurt and angry. I should apologize for this taking so long. This was a lot and I needed to sort my thoughts and even so I probably missed some points so I also apologize for that.

Penny and Ironwoods biggest mistake was trusting and being kind to RWBY. They lied and betrayed James and treated him like garbage even though he showed them nothing but kindness and did whatever he could to help them and listened to them. Penny was told what to do and think far more so then James ever supposedly did. Ruby decided to give her a new body, decided she didn't like how James was treating her and that she thought James was a bad person, and decided that Penny was better off with them. Penny stopped being able to make her own decisions once she started hanging out with RWBY and co.

Really though what did they all think was going to happen when they sent out a message that matched beat to bear a lot of what Cinder said before Atlas fell? Did she think about the panic that would cause? Did she forget she was worried about Ironwood telling everyone back in Volume 7 because of the panic it would cause everyone??? Did that just conveniently slip her mind?

I honestly think Weiss would have been the best choice to give the broadcast of them all but I don't think they should have sent out the broadcast in the first place. It should realistically only cause panic and death but the narrative is gonna yadda yadda right past all of that.

Oh god yea RWBY and co complain and whine and scream that Ironwoods plan is bad whilst offering up no alternatives then just taking his plan and acting like it was theirs the whole time. They even did this in Volume 7 when in episode 2 they where worried about James telling Atlas about Salem and then turning around and acting all happy and shocked when James told everyone near the end of the season as if they wanted him to the whole time and not the other way around.

Man RWBY really did jack shit all volume huh? As you said all the major things side characters did: Fight James TWICE: Winter, Emerald, and JNRO.

Try and rescue Oscar: JRY

Blow up the Whale: Oscar

"Redeem" Hazel and Emerald: Again Oscar

Defeat the hound: Whitley and Willow

Launch the tower: Penny

Help defend Mantel against the swarm of Grimm: FNKI and the soldiers that all died trying to buy Ruby time while she cries in a mansion.

Like what does this girl do to help any of the people SHE trapped???

Oh god Ren, poor Ren, he's finally seeing the light but he can't stray from the Hivemind so he needs to get back in, we can't question the pure and perfect Ruby her plans are always right even if it causes Salem to get two relics and destroys the only kingdom with an army or the technology to restore global communications in the process.

Yea you're right like CRWBY can make excuses all day for why Ruby didn't react to Yang falling and MAYBE I can buy her not using her Semblance because she's in shock but not crying or reacting at ALL to her supposed death?? Why does her weapon get a more emotional response then her SISTER? Why is only BLAKE allowed to be sad about Yang supposedly dying? Why does fucking WINTER have more of a reaction to her sister dying?

Why are all the people we are supposed to be rooting for so fucking unlikeable???

[renaerys]

What are your thoughts on the blues? The reds are my otp and I like the greens but I have to confess the blues don't do anything for me. My frustration with this ship stems from people making them "perfect ". They're always the first to get together, stop hating each other early, rarely have turmoil and if they do they get over it quickly. They're written as too cutesy imo. I feel like people think just because bubbles is the sweet one and boomer being her counterpart that means they would get together quickly. It's annoying because the blues can be complex if people bothered to attempt to flesh them out. Bubbles is still a ppg and boomer is still a rrb. Contrary to popular belief and writing they would have difficulties moving forward from enemies to friends then lovers. I really feel the reason they're the least popular of the 3 ships is because they're rarely fleshed out in fics and given obstacles to overcome. Even singular fics focusing on them leave much to be desired. I feel for blues fans because I know they're frustrated with the content for their ship and how it's written. I'm not into the ship and I'm frustrated along with them because Bubbles/Boomer have the potential to be a great ship if people took the time to actually flesh them out. It's not right that the reds get to be complex and so do the greens but the blues...just get to be cute and one dimensional. You and maybe 2 other authors are probably the only ones who actually give them a personality and character. Definitely not trying to bash authors but I do feel as though this a discussion that needs to be had. The blues deserve better and this is coming from a reds fan.

Thanks for this thoughtful ask! I’ve heard this concern before from others, and I also have issues with it generally. I can’t speak to other authors’ intentions and don’t pretend to know their preferences or interpretations, so please keep that in mind for what I am about to say here. I am speaking only for myself. 

Based on what I have seen in this fandom and conversations I’ve had with fellow fans, I think there are a few different explanations for the issue you raised, none of which is dispositive. 

1) Certain creators may not like Blues as much as other ships, but because Color Code is pretty much expected in most PPG/RRB fics and art, they throw the Blues in there anyway and end up de-prioritizing them. That’s not unexpected, but probably explains the lower effort put into them compared to other ships. It’s side-ship syndrome and you see it across fandoms. Unfortunate, but pretty ubiquitous. 

2) There are fandom headcanons regarding ship dynamics and character personalities that appear to be widely accepted, and among those is the lovey/saccharine Blues dynamic. That’s neither good nor bad, but it is pervasive. In concert with 1) above, you have a recipe for a low-effort side-ship that the author/creator isn’t super excited about, and it shows through the recycled tropes that barely reach beyond a skin-deep level of nuance. I suspect that the popularity of high school fics exacerbates this issue at least in part. High schoolers probably are not dealing with experiences such as getting older, questions of marriage/family, careers, debt/finances, and other hazards of adulting that are ripe for interesting dramatic tension and added layers of complexity in a relationship. Again, this is neither good nor bad, just an observation. 

3) Separate from 1) and 2), I get the impression that a not insignificant portion of the fandom actively updating fanfic these days is on the young side (teenagers/early 20s) and/or does not have a lot of personal experience with romantic relationships. None of that is bad! Please don’t mistake me, it’s awesome that there are young people creating and contributing, learning and having fun. I encourage and support them; I used to be one myself (and I still have so much to learn and improve on, as we all do). No one can improve without a safe space to practice and learn, and I feel very strongly about contributing to making that space safe and welcoming to creators of all skill levels. The downside of a younger or inexperienced pool of active writers is that it is probably more difficult for those writers to write nuanced, “realistic” relationship dynamics--if they have not lived those experiences themselves (or at least been around long enough to watch them happen to their peers), then how can they possibly be expected to write about them in a story in a believable and honest way? It’s a tall order, and an unfair standard to hold them to. I’m sure some can do it, and my hat’s off to them; they are certainly better writers than I am. But I suspect most cannot. I say that from a place of experience having been there myself. I look back at my fics from like 10 years ago and cringe fondly (what could I have possibly known about adult relationships without ever having been in one myself?). 

And that’s not to say teenagers can’t experience meaningful romantic relationships. They absolutely can and do! But when you’re living it in the moment, it becomes hard to take a step back and objectively analyze it as an experience. That really only comes with age and lived experience, which allow you to look back on those times without being emotionally compromised by your personal feelings. You can see the “good” and the “bad” much better in hindsight. And importantly, you have the emotional intelligence and maturity to write about it honestly. What might have seemed romantic at 16 might feel very different at 26 when you factor in experience, worldliness, and cultural/life education that really can only come with age. At least, that has been my experience. (I reiterate that I am only speaking for myself and my journey, not for any other authors.)

All this for my point 3) is to say that the frustrations you have expressed with Blues in some stories coming off as “too cutesy” or being “perfect” or “rarely hav[ing] turmoil” in their relationship are likely due to the fact that at least some of the writers of those stories probably don’t have the life experiences that would adequately prepare them to write a nuanced, complex, romantic relationship. Real life relationships that are “successful” are hard. They are work. Happiness takes so much work when happiness requires another person’s engagement and fulfillment as an equal member of your team. The honeymoon phase is real, but it doesn’t last, and I think that is where some stories miss the mark. I’m all for Blues (or any other ship) to be genuinely happy in love. Who doesn’t like a happy ending? But romantic success isn’t a destination, it’s a never-ending journey with ups and downs. Personally, I’m interested in reading about the ways a ship navigates those ups and downs, and how the characters decide that despite hardships, it’s worth weathering the struggle together because they are happier together than they would be apart. 

But that’s so hard to execute! Professional writers, filmmakers, and screenwriters think it’s hard to execute! I have tried to do it myself, and I look back on my recent fics and I’m like okay cool, but we can and should do better next time. It is not easy, and I don’t want to give you the impression that I think I’m amazing at it or that it’s not hard to pull off. That could not be further from the truth, and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is lying to you. It’s definitely a discussion that should be had in any fandom no matter the shipping preferences. All I can say is that I encourage my fellow writers and creators to keep practicing. We can all do better.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

The Best Things ~ J.V. (part 8)

A/n: This part is super upsetting. Character death, graphic violence, I dare even say gore. Homophia, which I should have been warning a while back I am so sorry for that. Things are gonna get HEAVY- I am so sorry lol.

Word Count: 3800+

Playlist

Masterlist

"Nah, you're not crazy," Harleen giggled.

"Says you," Y/n teased, rolling his eyes. "You may have a doctorate, but you're also bias."

Her smile widened. "Okay that's fair." Y/n sighed, sitting back in his chair. He looked down at his hands, smile small as he got lost in thought. "What's on your mind?"

"Harleen is kind of a mouthful," Y/n told her. "Do you like the name?"

She tilted her head, as if considering. "I never did. When I was younger I had a friend who called me Lee, but with things happening-" Y/n's face scrunched up and Harleen snorted. "Exactly. Name's already taken- and it would be even weirder if I went by Dr. Lee, so I scratched it."

Y/n nodded. Then he sat forward, his elbows resting on the table. "So you've never had any other nicknames?" She shook her head and then shrugged when Y/n donned a surprise expression. "Well I have to give you one then. That's what friends do, right?" She grinned at Y/n's words and he watched the room get a little brighter. She was magic like that- as if she was made of sunshine. Her happiness was contagious, and she made the world a little better. She was accepting and also calm, making him feel safe as well as loved. She was his best friend and he was hers and they gave each other something they couldn't get with anyone else: unhindered fun with absolutely no expectations. It was an odd place to find real friendship in, but here they were anyway. "What about... Leena?" She immediately shook her head and he chuckled. "Uh... I mean, there's always Harley."

She considered that. "You know what, I like it." She crossed her arms. "Harley Quinzel." She nodded. "I'll allow it."

Y/n rolled his eyes. She was only like four years older than him, but had far too quickly fallen into a rhythm of acting like an adult talking to a child every once in a while, as a joke. Whether she was flaunting the years she had over him, or the schooling, Y/n wasn’t sure, but he refused to acknowledge it and it had become an unspoken inside joke between them. "What about you? I have to give you one now."

Y/n shrugged. "I don't like nicknames."

Harley tilted her head, the bottom of her blonde ponytail brushing her shoulder. "Why not? You like giving them."

"Well, yeah..." He bit his lip. "It's just, every bad guy has a code name, you know? Oswald Cobblepot goes by Penguin. Edward Nygma is going around as Riddler. Then there's Mr. Freeze. I just feel like if I take an alias, it'll be official you know? I'll be as crazy as the people I associate with and as evil as everyone says I am."

Harley hummed. "Okay, that's fair." She sighed, raising her hands to rest her chin in her palm. "Speaking of people you associate with. You and Jerome..."

Y/n's mood darkened. It had been a while now and Oswald was gone and Jerome still hadn't made an appearance. "I think he's mad at me." Harley tilted her head in confusion and Y/n shrugged. "I left with Alfred because Bruce needed me. Didn't give him a heads up, and then went missing for, like, months..." He shook his head. "Maybe he thinks I've gone back to my old life, or that I've left him behind. I just feel like he's avoiding me and one doesn't usually do that for no reason, so I figure-"

"What if he's just busy?" Harley proposed.

Y/n snorted. "With what? Reading a really good book series?"

Harley pursed her lips. "I guess you have a point."

"Why do you even care?" Y/n asked, raising his hands to knit his fingers behind his head.

Harley stared at him silently for a long time. She had the look on her face she always does when she'd trying to read Y/n's mind. When she's analyzing everything she learned in school and looking at the actions and words that he was currently giving as context, as well as past ones, and then somehow putting it all together to figure out the secrets sometimes even he didn't know. The same magic that made Arkham home also gave her the ability to read minds- Y/n had determined she was a proper superhero.

After she reached some kind of conclusion - she always nodded after she'd done the reading and then switched which leg was crossed over the other - a little smile teased her lips. She was trying to hide it. And failing. Y/n tried not to be curious. Usually when Harley didn't tell him something it was because he wasn't ready to hear it... but that smile. It was too late. He had to know. "What?"

Once he asked, the gate broke and she grinned. "You're in love with him."

Y/n snorted. "No. I'm not." The coy curl of Harley's lips added to her raised eyebrows to make Y/n doubt himself, even though he could feel his feelings and knew that it wasn't... he didn't... no way. "He's important to me," Y/n gave. "I care for him. But... love..." Y/n shook his head. "I don't know about that. There's been too much going on- I haven't had enough time with him."

She nodded, expression serious, as if this was a very important discovery. "I call Maid of Honor at the wedding though." They locked eyes as Y/n went to tell her off, but then a slow smile rose to her face as he realized she was joking. They both busted up into laughter.

"Whoever I marry, the position is yours." He winked at her and she flipped her hair, both of them giggling.

A timer went off. Harley stood, gathering her stuff and sighing. "That's my cue. Same time tomorrow?"Y/n nodded then stood.

He draped his arm around her shoulders. "You know, you make this place bearable. You're a real friend to me." He kissed her forehead. "What would I do without you, hm?"

She rested her head on his shoulder for a second before they began walking and it got too awkward to coordinate. "Probably the same thing I'd do without you. Be alone and miserable." She popped up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. He pretended to gag and she fell into a short fit of soft giggles. "You're an idiot."

"Ah and yet what I lack for a brain, I make up with a big-" He cut off and she groaned. "Heart," he enunciated. He smirked and she rolled her eyes. "I have quite a large heart, full of love for my favorite gal." He shook her slightly, making a point that said gal was her.

"Every lesbian deserves a best friend with as little brains and as big a heart as you," Harley joked.

"And every gay deserves a best friend with as much brain and just as much heart as you." He finally let her go as she moved to the door that would lead outside. This is where they parted- her, to home, as he was her last patient as per usual. Him, further into the Asylum where he would have dinner then return to his room to be alone and sleep. Goodbyes were the pair's least favorite part of the day. "Until we next meet, Madame," Y/n initiated, pulling away to bow deeply.

Harley grabbed her doctor's coat lightly, pulling it out as if it was a dress as she bowed back. "I shall count the seconds." They laughed one last time, waving before she turned and left. He watched her go until she disappeared. She turned back several times to wave yet again, until she couldn't see him either just by turning around.

The second she was out of sight, the world lost a little color. It was a little darker. His smile got smaller and Y/n's shoulders sagged. He shoved his hands in his pockets before turning back to the hallway that lead to his room, beginning the trek.

A hand on his shoulder stopped him. People rarely touched him. The only person that touched him like this was one that Y/n hated so much that his hands curled into fists in his pocket, his face suddenly cold and empty as he stared straight ahead, halfway through a step- his foot on the ground and extended, but not carrying him forward as it had been intended to. He took a deep breath through his nose. Unfortunately, in all the chaos and people getting booted from Arkham after beating on Y/n, the one person that meant the most hadn't been caught because everyone refused to rat him out.

The man who'd started it all.

"You and her..." The older guard mused, a nasty smirk on his ugly face. "I thought you were gay." He said it mockingly, like he'd caught a child who hadn't said they weren’t hungry sneaking food when everyone seemed to be asleep.

Y/n rolled his eyes, forcing his body to relax as he faced the man. The monster. "Not every girl in the world was born solely for men to shove a dick into them, Jameson." The older man glared and Y/n smiled, getting satisfaction. "As a matter of a fact, Harley and I are just friends."

"You're pretty affectionate for just friends," Jameson argued. Y/n still didn't know the man's first name. He didn't care enough too. He didn't want another name that tasted bitter in his mouth. He already had his fingers crossed he'd never meet a cute boy with the last name Jameson, because the name alone would ruin Y/n's chances before he'd even taken a shot. No reason to make it even harder for himself.

"We're comfortable around each other." He rolled his shoulder back once, slightly stiff from sitting so long. Jameson wouldn't attack, knowing that Y/n would report him instantly- especially in such an open space, with cameras and the chance of someone rounding the corner any second - but one could never be too safe, just in case. "She gets me like no one else does. But, as you so wonderfully pointed out, I'm GAY." Y/n enunciated the word, going the extra mile by taking a step closer to stress it even more. "Girls aren't my thing."

Jameson looked like he wanted to deck Y/n. The younger boy's lips curved into a mocking smile in response. Now the guard was the one who had to control himself. "You guys have a lot in common?"

Y/n shrugged, too caught up in his casual gloating that Jameson couldn't act out like he wanted to- like he used to be able to. "Enough. We talk a lot. She's cool." He relaxed thinking about Harley. "She doesn't think I'm crazy. It's nice." He cleared his throat, focusing back on the enemy in front of him... only to immediately be confused by the very odd expression on Jameson's face. "What?"

"Nothing," the man dismissed, moving to leave. "I've heard enough. You're both a waste." He shook his head as he left and Y/n glared at his back until he was gone. Then the boy turned back toward the cell and finally made his way.

Man, why did he have to be surrounded by such assholes? Why couldn't Harley be around all the time? Why couldn't he be free? They could get an apartment and talk all the time. Help each other get through life and protect each other from unwanted attention. Be themselves all the time. Make jokes and exchange irritated expressions when idiots like Jameson said stupid shit like he always tended to.

Tomorrow. He'd see her tomorrow. That wasn't too far away.

He could wait until then.

-

Y/n's knees gave out from under him and he fell, cracking them on the cement. He didn't even feel it. His attention was being completely held by the TV, which was turned onto the news. It was a small screen that had been installed in one of the Day Rooms recently. They were rarely ever allowed to watch the news, though. In places like Gotham, far too often the news held very upsetting content that set inmates off- either into panics, or into violent rages. Y/n had stood to turn it off when he'd realized what news was being shared. Someone had been murdered. Old news. This was Gotham. Then he'd heard the name.

"23-year-old Harleen Quinzel was found dead earlier today. Her body was badly beaten, with words carved into her stomach. It was the cuts on her wrist that were the cause of death, though it's been determined that none of this was self inflicted. We received a photo of the body recently. Beware: what you're about to see is not for the faint of heart."

Suddenly the screen was showing the broken body of Y/n's best friend. The sunshine girl with the bright smile and the contagious laugh. The girl who was going to be Y/n's Maid of Honor. Y/n's better half. She was limp and unmoving, her eyes wide and empty. Her skin was pale, nearly white, except for where dark, huge bruises and blood discolored it. Her hair had been cut off, the blonde locks left next to her head but clearly detached. Her shirt had been rolled up to letters on her stomach- carved as promised.

There was an L next to a G, in a circle and crossed through once. Underneath the symbol read: Sinner.

Someone was talking, but Y/n couldn't make out what they were saying. A hand in his shoulder and he looked over to see a concerned guard. A woman. She knelt next to Y/n, but she wasn't the one touching him. No, that hand belonged to Jameson, who had a sick expression on his face- a cross between smugness and victory, muted as if he was trying to hide it, badly masked by some version of concern that was so unconvincing that Y/n ripped his shoulder out of the older man's hand.

He was on his feet again and running. Out of the room and to his cell- despite all the people who kept asking him what was going on, and someone in the very back changing the channel as the news reporter announced, "If you have any information, please contact-" Y/n ignored the rules. He ignored the people yelling at him. He ignored the people trying to stop him. He just started running and he didn't stop until he was in his room, where he opened the door and closed it behind him. His heart was ramming against his chest and all he could hear was the rushing of his blood in his ears. He saw black spots and felt an emotion bubble up that he couldn't even begin to put name to. All he knew was that it was dark and twisting and it was very quickly consuming everything good.

Something in him broke. It snapped off. Something vital. Y/n was aching, but he didn't know what it was or where it had fallen to as he lost it. He just knew there was suddenly a gaping hole where something very important used to be, and he felt absolutely terrible with it gone.

On the upside, he could finally breathe. His chest loosened and his body relaxed and as the door opened behind him, he turned to see the person with complete calm.

"Jameson." The word was not a greeting, but more of an observation. No. It was an accusation. The older man smiled and Y/n's insides began to twist and boil- less like a tightening of anxiety and more like a snake, seconds from attacking. "Why?" He stepped forward. "She was innocent."

Jameson scoffed. "You think you two are subtle? You two act like you're together and then talk about how you're not- you just 'get' each other." Jameson shook his head, cracking his knuckles. "You're spreading your sickness, Y/n." The snake coiled tighter, hissing and spitting. Y/n felt his calmness very quickly drop, perfectly placed with rage. His body didn't move, he just suddenly had a bunch of energy and he was waiting for the perfect moment to use it. "You two aren't quiet either. Strutting around here acting so out of line, in front of me. Acting like you're not being evil." Jameson scoffed. "You're evil, Y/n. And if they wouldn't let me punish you here, I'd have to get more creative. Even if you don't see it, you're in love with her. What you think you are is unnatural, and I knew if you could see how you really feel-"

Y/n's hand was around the man's throat. Jameson tried to push the younger boy away or claw his hand off, but Y/n just rammed him into the wall behind him. Jameson's head cracked against the grey wall, his efforts suddenly becoming useless. "You think I'm dangerous as a disease? You're so desperate to cure me. You're about to find just how very dangerous I am, Jameson. All on my own, with just my two hands." And then he began to squeeze. Jameson writhed and fought and clawed but when he started to get strong, Y/n would smash his head again or ram his knee into the man's junk and the efforts died down once again.

It took longer than Y/n thought. Jameson started to change color, his eyes bulging and his lips moving desperately but nothing coming in or out. Just when the man seemed about ready to pass out, Y/n let him drop to the floor. He gasped, clawing to try and get away. Y/n smiled, toeing the door gently closed. Jameson squirmed away, features taken over completely with terror. Y/n felt amazing.

"You will never hurt another person, ever again." Y/n squatted down, taking the man's thin hair in his hands. "Me however?" Y/n giggled. "You've helped create a monster. Know that every person I kill in the future is on your hands. Every injury is your fault. I'm not a violent person, Jameson." He snorted. "Well, I wasn't. But it seems you fuckwads only answer to violence, so..." Y/n shrugged casually. Jameson shook his head, choking out pleads for his life. Y/n snapped the man's neck and he stopped begging. It was so easy... The silence was wonderful. Y/n felt a weight lift off of his shoulders. "I'm done sitting idly while assholes run Gotham." Y/n stood, not even bothering to do anything but leave the door wide open as he walked calmly away, grinning like an idiot.

Something had been broken and lost indeed. It was Y/n's self control. His moral compass that kept him grounded and toeing the line between good and bad. It was the thing that kept reminding him he was a Wayne. That he was a good person. That he had a family that depended on him, in some way or another. That he had Alfred and Bruce, who he did want to visit even if he also wanted a life outside of them. That he had Oswald, who most often found solace in Y/n's sanity and depended on his restraint to reel him in when people were trying to set him off; Oswald needed Y/n's sense to balance his emotions. And, overall, Y/n was driven by pure spite not to let those damn reporters be right. He would be good and successful and he would show all of them that he could be more than the black sheep of the Wayne family. The disappointment of Gotham. The failure, always in the shadow of the Golden Boy younger brother Bruce Wayne.

But those people who Y/n cared about so much had let people like Jameson walk around, unhindered and unchecked. They had let him get beat up for a very long time before he was nearly killed and their hand was forced. They had let evil people run around and control things while they locked up Y/n for being gay. For being attracted to a man even though he wasn't a woman. There were murderers running wild, with super powers and incredible genius, but the problem people were deciding to focus on was that Y/n was gay.

Well, he was done with the lot of them. He was going to get out and prove to all of them that he was more than a Wayne. More than a mistake. More than a shadow. More than evil or good. More than Bruce's older brother. More than the one dude who had feelings for Jerome Valeska. More than one more gay plague on the face of the planet.

They wanted a monster? They would get one. And Y/n wasn't going to stop until he was satisfied, even if it meant all of Gotham had to die.

-

"Knock knock."

The door opened and Y/n looked over, his face finally showing emotion as his surprise rose. "Jerome?"

The redhead smiled, striding toward Y/n as if he has a tasty treat to share. "My little lover boy." Jerome hooked his finger under Y/n's chin. Y/n yanked his face away. Jerome frowned. "Are you mad at me, pretty boy?" Y/n glared at him. "I'll take that as a yes." He leaned backward. "What have I done, My Darling?"

"You've been avoiding me. We haven't talked in, like, months Jerome. What the fuck?"

"A tad dramatic," Jerome hushed. "And not totally fault." Y/n opened his mouth to argue but Jerome gently grabbed Y/n's throat, pressing his fingers gently into the skin. Their faces were suddenly very close and despite himself, Y/n suddenly felt a thrill to finally feel their skin touch as cheek brushed cheek. "I've been busy planning our escape, if you hadn't noticed." Y/n's eyes drifted to see a nervous Jonathan Crane and Jervis Tetch. "Come with me, won't you? I think we've been apart long enough."

Y/n suddenly began to relax. He didn't manage to smile, but he did get excited. "Well... lead the way."

Jerome left an excited kiss on Y/n's cheek, letting his hand fall away from Y/n's throat in favor of shooting into the air in victory as he giggled, turning to his two partners. "And so we all escape! Come now, we don't have much time." Y/n stood as Jerome lead the way, all four of the men finding their way out of Arkham Asylum finally.

The fun was about to begin.

[bobasheebaby]

125 How I Met Your Mother Prompts

More prompts this one is mega long but broken up by character. I think it’s a pretty good mix of funny and angsty. Break at 15.

Barney Stinson

1 “You know what NAME needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story.”

2 “A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth.”

3 “ It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!”

4 “Suit up!”

5 “Believe it or not, I was not always as I am today.”

6 “I realized that I'm searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.”

7 “Every Halloween, I bring a spare costume, in case I strike out with the hottest boy/girl at the party. That way, I have a second chance to make a first impression.”

8 “Whatever you do in this life, it’s not legendary unless your friends are there to see it.”

9 “Three days. We wait three days to call a man/woman, because that's how long Jesus wants us to wait... True story.”

10 “There’s three rules of cheating: 1. It’s not cheating if you’re not the one who’s married. 2. It’s not cheating if his/her name has two adjacent vowels. 3. And it's not cheating if he’s/she’s from a different area code.”

11 “I peed in an alley which happened to have a church which I did not see because I was drunk.”

12 “I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?” “I guess, because you're almost as messed up as I am.”

13 “In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.”

14 “Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.”

15 “Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.”

16 “God, it’s me, NAME. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of guys/girls call out your name because of me.”

17 “Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and he’s/she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ‘em, tiger!”

18 “De — wait for it — nied! Denied! We’re goin’ out tomorrow night.”

19 “Step six is called purg— wait for it. Keep waiting. Keep waiting for all of eternity only to discover that there’s no escape —atory.”

20 “I think tonight is going to be de — wait for it — lightful.”

21 “Ted, tonight is gonna be — wait for it — dary! Wait, no, that’s not it. How do I usually say it?”

22 “You watch, NAME, tonight is going to be legen— it’s the night we stole a camel! Which means it will be full of drama —dary.”

23 “I’m just gonna grab this star to put on top of the tree. It’s gonna be legend— wait for it —merry.”

24 “Haaaave you met NAME?”

25 “Challenge accepted!”

Robin Scherbatsky

26 “Oh, come on, ref! I haven't seen that much hooking go unpunished since my last trip to Vegas.“

27 “Just be yourself. Say something nice.” “Which one? I can't do both.”

28 “Before you know it, you'll be marrying a man/woman who once ate a vanilla-scented candle!” “That was on me. I shouldn't have left it in the kitchen. Though, it was lit. Man, he/she dumb.”

29 “Destined? Aren't you tired of waiting for destiny, NAME? Isn't it time to make your own destiny?“

30 “NAME was great.” “Exactly, and you threw it all away to chase after some hot piece of ass.” “You mean you?” “Thank you!”

31 “Oh, we're busting apple bags? I can bust apple bags.“

32 “NAME, I am not ready for them to find out about us.” “Then you're gonna have to stay in there for the entire trilogy. Don't worry, it's only 382 minutes.” “Nerd!”

33 “You know NAME? Been thinking about it. Guess it's kind of nice you're such a bad-ass.” “It's pretty bad-ass you're so nice, NAME.”

34 “14 seconds! And already some dingdong is stepping up, thinking he can get some of this broke off.”

35 “But timing is a bitch.”

36 “Well, maybe this isn't a breakup. Maybe this is two friends getting back together.“

37 “There's something between us. Maybe my head was saying, 'nip it in the bud', because my heart was saying something else ...”

38 “I just finished a seven-day cleanse.” “I thought you just started that yesterday.” “I finished early, okay?”

39 “NAME! I just had a great idea!” “Oh, do whatever you want to me, just don't wake me up.”

40 “Okay, I've missed you. Not in a 'we're gonna make out' way, not even in an 'I forgive you' way. Just in an 'I've missed you' way.”

41 “I may not love you the way you love me, but I do love you.”

42 “But ... umm.”

43 “Why am I constantly looking for reasons not to be happy?”

44 “Oh, that’s right. I’m alone.”

45 “I’m gonna give you summer teeth ... some’re here, some’re there.”

46 “You can’t run back to the past because it’s familiar.”

47 “Nobody asked you, NAME.”

48 “It’s one thing to not want something. It’s another to be told you can’t have it.”

49 "I am never going to have closure. Okay, closure doesn't exist."

50 “You are going to miss out on something great.”

Ted Mosby

51 "If you're not scared then you're not taking a chance. And if you're not taking a chance, then what the hell are you doing anyway?"

52 “You can ask the universe for signs all you want but ultimately we'll only see what we want to see...when we're ready to see it.”

53 "Nothing good happens after 2:00 am… when 2:00 am rolls around, just go home and go to sleep."

54 "The more you fight it, the worse it’s gonna get. It’s like when your car slides on ice, you steer into the skid."

55 "Sorry, Peter. We're grown ups now, we can't fly to Nevrland with you anymore."

56 "I wound up shame-eating the whole pizza. I woke up all greasy and sweaty. My sheets looked like what they wrap deli sandwiches in. Maybe I should join a gym. Do you go to a gym?"

57 "People make fun of the guy/girl who stays home every night doing nothing, but the truth is that guy/girl is a genius.”

58 “Love doesn't make sense! You can't logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it or else we're lost and love is dead, and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.”

59 “Everyone has an opinion on how long it takes to recover from a breakup.”

60 “There are a lot of little reasons why the big things in our lives happen.”

61 “There are two big days in any love story: the day you meet the guy/girl of your dreams and the day you marry him/her.”

62 ““I’m crazy about you. I think we should be together. What do you say?” “Yes. No. Maybe.” “Those are the three options.”

63 “The littlest thing can cause a ripple effect that changes your life.”

64 “It's kind of insane how much happened in just a day and a half.”

65 “Whether a gesture's charming or alarming, depends on how it's received.”

66 “Because sometimes even if you know how something's gonna end that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride.”

67 “Shouldn't we hold out for the person who doesn't just tolerate our little quirks but actually kinda likes them?”

68 “I used to be in such a hurry all the time. Everything was so urgent. Now I figured, if it's going to happen it'll happen when it happens. I'm not going anywhere, he’s/she's not going anywhere. What's the rush, right?”

69 “I think for the most part if you're really honest with yourself about what you want out of life, life gives it to you.”

70 “We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden, even from our closest friends, that in those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up being.”

71 “You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it in someone's face, but there's a third option: You can just let it go, and only when you do that is it really gone and you can move forward.”

72 “I'm sorry, when I'm excited I abbreviate words I shouldn't.”

73 “We gotta wait for the real thing, no matter how tough it gets.”

74 “When you believe in people, people come through.”

75 “If you love something, you can never let it go. Not even for a second. Or it's gone forever.“

76 “Hey ref! Check your voicemail, I think you've missed a few calls!“

77 “Turns out, when you projectile vomit on skates, you roll right into the spray.“

78 “NAME, if you asked a hundred people: 'Who's the worst person you could possibly date?' They'd all say 'your therapist', except the ones saying 'NAME'.”

79 “Sometimes our best decisions are the ones that don't make any sense at all.“

80 “We've always been a trio! We're right up there with Batman and Robin and Alfred. Romeo and Juliet and the apothecary. Salt and pepper and cumin.“

Lily Aldrin

81 “You guys dated before. That time counts. The clock doesn't reset to zero. It un-pauses from where you left off.”

82 “We struggle so hard to hold on to these things that we know are gonna disappear eventually. And that’s really noble.”

83 “You can’t just skip ahead to where you think your life should be.”

84 “I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not.”

85 “Yes, I'm in a rotten mood. No, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, this has booze in it. No, it's not my first.”

86 “The 'no more surprises'-thing is the best part of being married.”

87 “So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Oh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital 'I'?”

88 “Baby, you're like 20 slutty chicks all rolled into one.” “Sweet-talk is not gonna change my mind!”

89 “So this is what you guys do? You invite other couples over for dinner, to judge them and feel superior?” “Oh, grow up, NAME, that's why any couple invites anyone over ever!”

90 “I think my soul just threw up a little bit.“

91 “Your heart's talking to you, NAME. Do you have the guts to listen to it?”

92 “I don't care if the dishes aren't done, okay? If you care, you do it.” “Great, then I don't care if you have an orgasm. If you care, you do it.”

93 “Who wants hot-wings?” “I'm in... or maybe we should just pour hot-sauce on NAME, since he's/she’s a total chicken.”

94 “I hate how you're always right.” “It's my best, and most annoying, trait.“

95 “Sex now, we'll do the foreplay after.“

96 “NAME check it! Three blond babies drinking bad-decision-juice at eight o'clock.”

97 “If you keep lying to me, if you keep cutting me out of decisions, if you keep using words like winning and losing when you talk about our marriage, you are going to lose me.”

98 “Why not just say goodbye to the bad things?”

99 “Say goodbye to all the times you felt lost, to all the times it was a no instead of a yes, to all the scrapes and bruises, to all the heartache.”

100 “Where’s the poop, NAME? Where’s the poop?”

Marshall Eriksen

101 “Hey I have given up peeing in the shower for you!”

102 “Why does he/she keep doing this? He meets them. He/She likes them way too much. He/She goes way too big too soon. He/She ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's/She’s fallen in love so many times now.”

103 “Ow! Paper cut ... Death is all around us.”

104 “This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.”

105 “It's a little late but WHAT THE BALLS IS THIS?”

106 “Hey baby, it's me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand.”

107 “Being in a relationship is hard. And committing, making sacrifices it's hard. But if it's the right person, it's easy. Looking at that guy/girl, and knowing he’s/she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world. And if it's not like that then he’s/she's not the one.”

108 “Here's the thing, NAME. I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in comfort and it's raining outside and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.”

109 “He’s:She's never seen Star Wars?! NAME, the only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars. And that's cause they lived them, NAME! That's cause they lived the Star Wars.”

110 “Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.”

111 “I’ve never asked NAME to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. He’s/She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from him/her.”

112 “Happy Slapsgiving!”

113 “This is what I miss about being in a couple. I always had someone to go to concerts with, or farmer's market, or brunch. God, I miss brunch!” “Well, I guess you could - well, you could try going to brunch alone.” “Oh, you don't think I've tried?” [FLASHBACK]  “Table for one.” “One... Couple?” “Um, no, just me.” “Really? For brunch?” “You're right. Who am I kidding?” [Leaves restaurant. End of Flashback] “Oh, the Popover Pantry! That place is great. Can we go get brunch tomorrow?” “Of course, sweetie.” “Can I go with you guys?” “Really? For brunch?”

114 “That’s life, you know. We never end up where you thought you wanted to be.”

115 “That cake. Best cake I ever had. Seriously, my stomach was like, ‘Hey bro, I don’t know what you’re eating cause I don’t have any eyes but it’s basically awesome, so keep sending it down Gullet Alley.’”

116 “Revenge fantasies never work out the way you want.”

117 “I’m a good boyfriend/girlfriend in my sleep.”

118 “You have to let me dance my own battles.”

119 “One good deed leads to another and another.”

120 “Look at us, riding around in a limo, eating hot dogs…it’s like we’re the president.”

121 “All hail beercules!”

122 “I don’t know what to do with my hands. What do I normally do with my hands?”

123 “Hey, baby.” “We hate NAME now. Get on board or the sexting stops.” “NAME’s a son of a bitch!”

124 “Are these chicken wings or angel wings? God, I love these things.”

125 “Oh, and you think you can step up to me? To me?!”