#this link is worth $7! crazy

[foodfightnovelization]

ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight

Holy chips! It's an exciting time to be a Foodfight! fan, because ROTTEN: Behind The Foodfight is finally out! This really is THE definitive documentary on the insanity behind the movie, and it finally answers the question of just what was going on behind the scenes during production. Since I helped out with research (and I even get a short line of dialogue at 45:19) I've already seen everything that was shown off, but had to keep quiet until all the interviews were conducted and the documentary was finished. But now it's out and everything has been made public, the cat's out of the bag (the Fat Cat Burglar?) and I can talk about all the production material that's been shared.

Before I get into any of that though, I'd highly recommend you watch the documentary for yourself. It's insanely well researched and put together, and having worked together with Ziggy Cashmere (the documentary's creator) I know how hard he dedicated himself towards making this all possible. If it weren't for him, the most interesting Foodfight! discovery would've been finding the novelization, and we would have never gotten any real insight into how this movie came to be. It's also a documentary that really speaks for itself- I don't want to say too much about what it reveals since it's all expressed far better through its narrative and the interviews with people who actually worked on the project. My favorite is the interview with texture artist Mona Weiss- she tells such horrifying stories about how she was treated by Larry and other crewmembers, yet does it all with a sense of humor that makes it clear she's enjoying getting to talk about her crazy experiences. It's clear Foodfight! was an unmitigated disaster from start to finish, and there's nobody to blame for that but Larry Kasanoff himself. The movie was rotten from the top down and despite the countless talented animators and artists working on it, nothing could fix the fact that it was fundamentally mismanaged in the worst way possible. I think the quote from producer George Johnsen summarizes it best: "Foodfight! was a good idea that unfortunately lost its way during production. The technology, the art, and the direction were not in sync. Many very talented people gave their all to make the picture, but more understanding of process from the top was needed for it to succeed."

But if you saw the documentary, you already know all that, right? So instead, let's talk about the behind-the-scenes material that's finally been shared! You can find everything I'll talking about HERE on archive.org-

It's worth following the link and checking it out for yourself- there's so much it'd impossible to discuss everything. Artwork, storyboards, bloopers, models, a nude render of Lady X, an interview with Larry Kasanoff, the list goes on and it's still being updated! Despite the documentary already being out, people who worked on the movie are continuing to share new material! It's pretty incredible- for the past year I've ran this blog all I've really had to discuss are two tie-in books, and now there's so much Foodfight! material I can't even keep up with it.

I mean LOOK at all this, isn't it fantastic? The character art by Jim George showing off just how much better these designs originally were, the countless environments showing off just how stunning Marketropolis could've looked as well as the strength of the core idea "what if a supermarket came to life at night", and insanely detailed storyboards for a 7-minute pitch reel that was used to sell the movie to investors. Normally, I'd be ALL OVER this because it's all just incredible, but there's something far, FAR more fascinating than any of it.

There are even multiple drafts of the script (one from 2005 and one from 2007 respectively) and normally I'd be insanely fascinated by those too, making extremely detailed posts explaining the differences between the drafts and how they compare to the novelization, but there's something else that was found that blows ALL of this out of the water and is easily one of the most monumental lost media discoveries of ALL TIME.

That's right, a rough cut of the ENTIRE movie from 2005 has been found, containing nearly ALL the completed animation from earlier on in production. I mean, that's mindblowing right? We first got sent this around a month ago, a little while before the documentary came out, and I literally stopped everything I was doing at work to just sit and watch this. This is the closest we're ever going to get to the "original" version of Foodfight! after all- only 7 minutes of footage was ever actually made before they switched to mocap, made solely for the aforementioned pitch reel, and this workprint contains practically all of it! On top of that there are some great storyboards in here, as well as some truly hilarious ones cobbled together from 3D renders, and the plot is far better than what we ended up with, a lot of the more inappropriate jokes being absent. This rough cut is actually pretty similar to the novelization in that regard, and it also contains scenes that we'd previously only read about in there.

For example, in the novelization there's a snowmobile chase through the mountains, with Brand X soldiers on snowmobiles and a heavy avalanche close behind. This scene was completely left out of the movie itself, but in this workprint it's here! ALL the previously novelization-exclusive scenes are included, and this rough cut is seemingly based on an even earlier draft of the script than that- here Brand X are still defeated by a flood, whereas by the time of the novelization it'd been changed to a lightning storm. There are SO many exciting differences in this workprint, the snippets of original animation we get to see are SO good, and it's SO much better than the movie itself that I think it by far deserves the crown as the DEFINITIVE version of Foodfight! There's so much in it I want to discuss, that there's no way I can fit it all into this one post...so stay tuned, because in the next few days I'll be doing a FULL analysis of the 2005 workprint, pointing out all the extra brand mascots not in the finished film, and generally just gushing about how amazing it is.

I mean, this is it. Just take it all in for a second- the original footage was considered lost media for over a decade, and now it's practically been found in its entirety, embedded in an early cut of the whole movie...isn't that just phenomenal? All the mysteries have been unraveled, all the questions have been answered, and now we can relax, take a deep breath, and watch Foodfight!...the REAL Foodfight! Make sure to enjoy it, and join me next time for my analysis!

[ctrlhope]

Lily pleaseeee share your favorite ot7 hybrid fics, i can’t find any 😭😭😭😭

OMGGGG BB YOUVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE OKIEEE I LOVE OT7 FICS REAL BAD

I’ve been reading hybrid fics p much since I started reading bts fanfics so… I can hook u up dastardly style 🤩 links under the cut <33

so before I start listing ima be so fr and say I like most of my hybrid fics verryy formulaic. i p much only ready hybrid bts x human reader and I really enjoy the whole plot of ‘y/n inherits bts and doesn’t know what to do!’ Or ‘y/n sees 7 hybrids at the shelter who need help and doesn’t know what to do!’. It feels sooo chicken noodle soup to me and it feels good for my soul <33 so I hope these fics feel like chicken noodle soup for u too and that you love them as much as I do <33

Series

Abundance ✰ @angelicyoongie

HYBRID CLASSIC FICCCC actually one of the first hybrid fics I think I ever read?? Def the first hybrid ot7 which is kinda crazy 😭 perfect chicken soup for the soul <33 probably the basis for the way I like hybrid fics I read formatted now!! you can really see how the authors writing grew with this fic. Was the fic that made me fall in love with hybrids, actually. I love all of her work so bad man [last updated: 10/4/24]

Trouvaille ✰ @spookyserenades

on my main recs list for a REASON!!! MODERN OT7 CLASSIC FIC!!! if you like the slowest of burns… you’ll enjoy this fic heavily. once again my favourite chicken-soup style so I can’t help but recommend it <33 I have… so many words id like to say about coyote jimin and hoseok… but I will remain silent for my own dignity 😔love all of her work terribly <33 [last updated: 8/17/24]

SeVen Uncaged ✰ @/missing_min_meowmeow (ao3) and @/polaritae (ao3)

two part series (first half completed, second half not) detailing the difficulties of adopting 7 hybrids reader was completely unprepared for 🙂‍↕️ YESSS MA’AM!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!! I love how this fic goes into the details of how difficult mentally and physically this kind of change would be for the hybrids. I love the characterisation of each of the boys. I LOVE IT!!!! pls give this series a chance it is so definitely worth it even though it’s unfinished. A love it terribly, in its entirety. I LOVE FLAWED CHARACTERS!!! [last updated: 9/11/23]

Restitution ✰ @/cloudtea (ao3) @cloudteawrites (tumblr)

like I said I REALLY like fanfics where reader comes into a bunch of hybrids and has to deal with the consequences 😭 that being said, this has exactly everything I love in a hybrid fic, I absolutely love the concept, and the stories of where each of the guys came from before. THIS is exactly what I mean when I say a chicken soup fic— warm and comforting. Hopefully the author will come back to it someday <33 it’s so good even though it’s just the beginning [last updated: 4/19/21 — permanent hiatus]

Loving You Isn’t Hard to Learn ✰ @/arduouslove (ao3) @arduouslove (tumblr)

MANNN ITS SO WARM AND COMFORTING!!! like,, i know i keep saying chicken soup and IM SORRY BUT THATS WHAT THESE ARE FOR ME!!! I absolutely adore the concept of a motel for hybrids to go when they need help. And I really love the development we’ve seen so far between Hoseok and jimin. Another fic that was left at the beginning, but truly lovely. Another one I hope the author updates again someday <33 [last updated: 03/07/23]

Still Life ✰ @/king_myg (ao3)

OKAY NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS IS ACTUALLY LIKE,,, ONE OF MY FAVOURITE HYBRID FICS IVE READ!! The concept behind it is just so,, intriguing. It’s a yandere fic, so it has that edge to it but the way jungkook just *is* is so…. No you actually just have to read it to understand. I love this fic sooo bad actually. And Yoongi who pretends not to be a hybrid… and!! I really can’t express in words how exciting this was for me to read. I can’t wait to see how the rest of the guys relationships develop with the reader. [last updated: 5/22/24]

Home Calls the Heart ✰ @anonnie-in-wonderland

verryyy cute ot7 fic <33 the first chapter just feels very warm and soft. its adorable how tae wants to 'adopt' a human for his family even though he doesn't quite understand the repercussions of it [last updated: 12/17/22]

About love ✰ @mochiimac

One of my favourite tropes of reader coming into hybrids and them all hating each other right off the bat!! The writing style feels so safe too <33 [last updated: 04/24/3]

A Hundred Percent Human ✰ @/wrienne (ao3) @wrienne (tumblr)

Another CLASSIC ot7 hybrid fic!! I remember reading the first few chapters before I took a break from fanfics back in the day. Each of the characters (bts memebers) are so interesting and I love the personalities the author made around them as well as all the world building they did within the fic. The class system was so interesting to me and TAEHYUNG??? God, such a fun and dynamic story!! Highly recommend you check it out [last updated: 7/24/23]

Daddy’s Money Makes the World Go Round ✰ @/That_Author (ao3)

SOOO warm and comfortable. Guarddog Namjoon rlly just wants to keep the reader safe even though her parents are mean. Their relationship (as well as the rest of the guys that come into the home) is just SO sweet n gentle <3 [last updated: 10/28/22]

Oneshots

Secret Story of the Swan ✰ @purpleyoonn

one of the few yandere fics on the list and oh so sweet <33 the way they gently lure reader is so 🥺 and she gives in easily to their charms 🥺 v cute little oneshot <33 love her a lot

Beastly Gods ✰ @lemonjoonah

A CLASSICCCCCC one of the only (other) yandere fics on this list. mostly taehyung x reader w/ implied ot7 x reader ++ drabbles featuring ot7 x reader. I love this fic so much actually you don’t understand. It holds such a special place in my heart PLS READ IT!!

Tangled Hearts ✰ @writersrealmbts

Adorable look into readers life with 7 hybrids <33 truly love how this fic played out and the interactions the members had with eachother and the reader. ITS JUST REAL CUTE OKAY!!!! Makes me all soft nd gushy!! Very cute <33 i love it.

To Be Read / Currently Reading

Kindness ✰ @/angelaronin (ao3)

Stray Cat Strut ✰ @/typhloticharuspex (ao3)

Meritocracy ✰ @/saylilirose (ao3)

The Dog Days are Over ✰ @/mintedmango (ao3)

Redamancy ✰ @/dalgi_jungoo (ao3)

A Sweet Change ✰ @/kagsii (ao3)

Peculiar Pack ✰ @/dollremi (ao3)

If anyone has any reads I didn’t mention comment them or message me them!!

** I’ll update this as I read more / find more fics I’ve read in the past that I enjoyed!! By no means is it complete, these are just the fics I’ve read/reread recently nd enjoyed <33 Currently going through my tumblr likes to see if I’ve missed any <33 ✰ last updated: 01/19/25

Main Rec List | individual/poly hybrid rec list (coming soon)

[just-a-ghost00]

Who is your secret admirer? 👀

If you feel like someone’s been eying you and you would like to check if your intuition about them is right, then this reading is for you. There will be a part two covering whether you know them or not and what this person admires about you.

There will be three sections for each group :

1. Their physical traits

2. Their personality

3. Complementary info using key words based on the letters you get

Group 1 🌹

Their appearance - 10 of wands, The Sun, 9 of pentacles, 2 of swords, Queen of cups, The Fool, Strength, Death, Movement, with a special appearance of the 7 of swords

This person is a busy bee. They look really tired or like they’re constantly in a rush. This person tends to avoid your gaze. They are quite charming and cute, their body has a good balance. They are rather slender and slim. They look strong though. Like they lift weights or something. This person can be quite intense if they want to, especially because they are so athletic and well off financially. But they are super humble so even though they know they look good, they do their best not to brag about it. So this person tends to dress casually, they wear clothes that don’t always fit them or bring the best out of their looks. They wear sporty clothes often like some kind of camper’s bag or running shoes. Their eyes is a key feature of their looks. They’re sweet yet bold. A fair mix of flirty and shy. This person could be really versatile in how they look around you. They are the sexy cute type, the type of person that attracts people with their brains more than their body. Though they look like a snack in this case. This person could be a swimmer so their arms and torso/back could be something that stands out compared to the rest of their body. They look like they would give the best hugs ever. 🤩

Their personality - The Tower, 4 of cups, The Hierophant, The High Priestess, The Lovers, 8 of wands, The Sovereign, Dare to dream, Transmute

Let me tell you, this person is hot AF. There is a stark contrast between their looks and their personality. This person looks so innocent but deep down they are soooo horny and dominant. No wonder this person wouldn’t look you in the eyes : they were too busy looking at your chest. They love it to a fault! They fantasize about you a whole lot. When it comes to who they are on a more general basis, they are very confident. They are a leader. They are wise, they know their worth. This person is a loner and they have strong boundaries. They don’t lose their time with what they’re not interested in. Same goes for people. They only engage in conversations with people that can match their intensity or bring something to the table. If they deem you unworthy, they would have no problem cutting ties. This person is very clever. They are constantly thinking. They are also super intuitive. Like the Hierophant and the High Priestess combo is super connected. This person definitely believes in a higher power, no matter how they label it. With the lovers and the 8 of wands, this person is quick to fall in love and very passionate once they know where they stand with you. They enjoy the banter a lot. They’re a sapiosexual. Not only are they excited by your looks but they also love your sassy and witty nature. The Hierophant / High Priestess / Lovers combo makes me think that this person is engaged but would gladly have a sneaky link with you anytime. The Tower and 4 of cups combo tells me that they like to challenge perceptions of others but don’t like theirs to be challenged. Let me tell you this person was not mentally prepared to meet you. You have put their world upside down to say the least. They can’t control their desire but they try really hard to repress it.

Complementary info - G I E A T Z I C R Y D A P L U

Words I’m picking up on : gay, guy, crazy, day care, guitar, cry, play date, icy gaze, player, age, gap, duty, large, diaper, price, duality, cage, pirate, trail, page, trace, guard, place, Italy, palace, rule, party, lace, Gael, Gail, Gaelic, Zac, Celia, Alice, Alicia, Ciel, Dalia, Ali, Lyra, Lydia, Craig, Giulia, Caty, Zara, Algeria, cute, cutie, prize, prude, girly

Group 2 ❣️❣️

Their appearance - Two of wands, White Numen, 7 of cups, King of cups, four of pentacles, 9 of wands, Power, Fate, Get creative

Okay this can be quite specific but for some this person is a farmer or someone that creates with their hands in a more general sense. Their hands, arms and upper body area are key features of this person’s look. They look intimidating, a bit stern, guarded for sure. Like the type of person that shouldn’t be messed with. Everything about them is meaty and juicy, even the D / the C. Their sense of style is pretty flowy. They like oversized clothes. Things that are practical and that they wouldn’t mind getting dirty 😉😉 They have a daddy / mommy vibe to them. They look like they’ve been through a lot and they can’t be bothered. Like you can’t fool them. They look mature. We got some DILFs and MILFs here lmao If they’re a man they got the full beard and grey hair sticking out here and there, if they’re a woman they got the long lucious hair and flowy sundresses that enhances their beautiful clivage. I’m specifically picturing for women their beautiful fuppa born from the birthing of beautiful children. This person is very sensual. And their sensuality comes from years of experience and knowledge, of working on themselves and providing for their family. They look very trustworthy and clean. Very healthy. Those are the type of people that are active on a daily basis, either because of their job or because they indulge in a lot of outdoor activities. They could like running or gardening. We also have artists here. Painters, musicians, sculptors, writers even. They kind of have an other worldly appearance. Like a Greek god/goddess that would have decided to walk among the mortals.

Their personality - knight of cups, queen of cups, Hierophant, page of swords, king of swords, page of pentacles, Love, The Sage

This person is very sweet. They are understanding, kind, patient. They love everyone. They are very contemplative. They like to make their own mind when doing something for the first time or meeting new people. They aren't the kind to gossip or take gossip seriously. They value traditions and respect more than anything else. They were educated quite strictly but it has done this person good. If they're a man, they were taught how to treat women fairly and consider them as their equal. If they're a woman, they were taught to support and uplift other women. They have a lot of knowledge and like to learn. They like to be challenged and mentally stimulated. They enjoy psychology, reading, writing. They know how to set boundaries and be ruthless in certain situations but they're also empathetic, able to compromise and find solutions that are beneficial to everyone. They feel very feminine. They take after the feminine figures in their life, especially their mother. They are nurturing and protective. They like to value others but also inspire and be inspired. They aren't afraid of being vulnerable, of making mistakes or stepping into the unknown. They have a lot of love to give. They are very romantic, even idealistic and naive at times. This person coul be a teacher or a healer of some kind. They were taught never to judge nor to belittle, never to think of themselves as superior to anyone, never to deny anyone of their love, respect or help. They gladly share what they have, help people out, show the way when needed. They are a chosen leader. They don't aspire to be one but people end up following them because of their sincere and pure nature. They have a lot of charisma and natural charm that doesn't feel forceful. They're in tune with their emotions and understand others' well. I'm getting that for some of you, this person enjoys poetry and/or romance novels.

Extra info - S E L I M A T A I I T U I R A

Words I picked up on : Selim, Selima, Rituals, trials, meat, Islam, rate, mates, teams, salute, émirats (French for emirates), emails, Italie (Italy), sutra, tiramisu, restau ( short for restaurant in French), amitié (French for friendship), Mauri (people from Mauritania), militaire (French for military), Mistral, Australia, Lisa, Asia, Israel, serial, laser, taser, Semirat, Rasul (Arabic for Prophet/messenger), Sami, Sam, Salima, Salim, Salem, Salam, Ismail, Smail, Islem, Tiamat, Tiamut, Mali

Group 3 👑♥️

Their looks - queen of pentacles, 6 of swords, 10 of wands, ace of pentacles, Death, The Lovers, Get Curious, The Sovereign

They look athletic and agile, a bit like a monkey. I thought of pirates for this group. I'm kinda picturing Monkey D. Luffy. This person could be a One Piece fan. They may have some similarities with this character. For those of you that don't know who this is, here's a GIF of the character to kinda get an idea (it's the guy in red).

Their limbs could be super stretchy lmao They just appear very trustworthy but also a bit reckless. But more than that, they look like they've been through a lot of stuff. Despite that, they're still pretty optimistic and want to believe in humanity. Just like the character, I guess. They look like the world's weight relies on their shoulders. They could have dark hair and eyes. They also look really young and unique. Their style can be a bit surprising. Like maybe they wear stuff that's not considered typical for people like them. They like rather flowy clothes that make them feel at ease. They also like contrast. They experiment a lot with their clothing style. So they can switch from one extreme to the other depending on their mood. It's like everything suits them. There's always something regal about them. They have a long neck or the way they stand and carry themselves makes them look like they come from a noble family. They always walk or talk slowly, they have an intense gaze. Key features of this person could be arms and eyes. They have this mischievous glint in their eyes, one that says "life is fun and if you don't think like that then I'm gonna make sure you do when you're with me". Honestly they're mostly a goofball and people might not take them very seriously based on their looks.

Their personality - 4 of pentacles, king of pentacles, Death, 2 of swords, Wheel of fortune, King of cups, The Pillar, Compassion

This person is deep. What they show is nothing compared to who they are. They are so mature and wise people would be shocked once they know them. They hide a lot of their scars, their doubts, their wealth and abundance. They don't trust people easily. They have to make sure you're worthy first. But once they trust you they give you their all. They have a happy go lucky personality with the people they trust the most. But they are ruthless with the ones they don't like. They have a strong moral compass and support their loved ones whole heartedly. This really matches Luffy's energy. If they feel like someone was unfairly treated, they would do anything in their power to get retribution for them. They may have a savior complex. They think rationally and take everything seriously, even the little things. They are dedicated to their work and their loved ones. They are an example for people around them. They like to take under their wing people that have been hurt, left behind or misjudged because they know what it feels like to be rejected or misunderstood. Their mind can get a bit negative sometimes. They tend to be harsh on themselves but extremely kind toward others.

Extra info - M U R R A K E A A Z E Y O N B

Words I picked up on : bronze, key, year, Amazon, bear, aroma, Kobe, Azurro, Manabu, bee, Roza, Zakary, Zakarya, Ryuk, Ruben, Roy, Akon, Marzo(March), May, Bron, Ryan, Marny, Zayn, karma, Roma, mabrouk (Arabic for blessed/lucky/prosperous), amaze, amen (either the Latin expression to end prayers), aman (Kabyle for water), Mary, Mauro, Amano, Arman, Armen, Korea, Zara, armor, amore, Kenya, Keny, Mokran, Yen, Ben, zen, yakuza, Kurama, Yan

[paddlescuddlesbubblesgurgles]

so around the start of the summer I ate literally as much as my body could possibly handle every day, every meal. I got in the habit of gorging myself until I could hardly breathe, could not stand or sit or even lay down comfortably, and my belly was aching. I couldn’t even sleep, nor could I really do much of anything but sit there helplessly and gasp or groan at how big I’d gotten, and how full I’d become. This was exactly what I wanted.

I was consuming between 7000-12000 calories a day during this time. This lasted about 2 months or so, maybe 10 weeks. I rarely took a break, and this had…intense consequences on my capacity. I routinely ate things like: entire family sized dinner portions for each component(vegetables, starches, meats). Family sized fast food meal deals(usually about 5 combos worth). 7-8 combos from various fast food places(usually their entire menu). Party sized or tailgater tray offerings from restaurants(usually enough for 10-15 people).

I cannot become full now. No matter what I do, if I’m not eating literally family sized portions, I’m not filled. I can become comfortably satiated after 3-4 meals at once, but my belly constantly yearns for more.

I finally have started experiencing some of the crazy ‘feedism fantasy’ tropes I thought weren’t real (or at least greatly exaggerated due to ya know…writing lol). Things like

I literally can get hunger pangs WHILE MY STOMACH HAS A REASONABLE AMOUNT OF FOOD INSIDE. I’m talking I’ve already eaten a heavy plate that is literally 3-4lbs of food. Gone. Inside me. But my belly has the NERVE to growl around it and demand more food.

Sometimes I become anxious when the only amount of food available to me is a normal serving size (this is honestly the hottest. I’m talking whiny, worried, needy feelings because I only got enough food for 1 person.)

i crave eating 24/7, or for long periods. I catch myself daydreaming about sitting down with enough food for a large gathering, and stuffing it all inside myself for literal hours. I’m not kidding, I want to eat for 6-8 hours straight of almost nonstop consumption. I just want to sit down, lean back with my gut supported by my lap or my couch, and stuff it so completely full. I would prefer if my primary activity for the day was eating.

hunger and arousal are now so completely linked I almost cannot experience one without the other…which means I’m hungry and horny pretty much unceasingly. Constantly my mind goes back to sex and eating. I’m literally just daydreaming in the background about when I will get to open my mouth next.

I’ve now eaten many of the feeding fantasy portions. Family meals, party trays, entire cakes, multiple entire pizzas, entire trays of baked goods, entire boxes of cakes, a box of donuts, entire pies, and generally levels of excess that I can only describe as obscene.

This has caused me to really fatten up. I gained 40 or so lbs from the end of March to the middle of July. I also happened to do this without an encouraging, physical, coercive or forceful feeder, which means if I were to have these (what I desperately crave), I imagine I would reach new capacity heights. I primarily eat for fullness. I love that food drunk fullness feeling where my entire body stops functioning properly. I love feeling like all I can literally do is let my belly do its thing and process all the food I gave it. I’m desperate for it. I constantly crave it. The weight gain is an unintentional but welcomed side effect of my incessant gorging.

I cannot wait for my next opportunity. I have so many ideas. Will I finally try 3 pizzas? Will I try to eat more foot longs than I am tall? Will I make myself an entire family banquet and then greedily try and eat it myself? I need to do it soon. I can’t keep eating enough for 6-7 people each day…I need more, and I need it all at once.

[seeingivy]

brutal

eren jaeger x f!reader

**part of my canary mate fic

previous part linked here

--

[busstopbilly]: My song recommendation for the day is brutal by Olivia Rodrigo. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: i beg ur pardon….

[lizontopoftheworld]: first of all. CRAZY choice for 7:47 am. who hurt you? 

[busstopbilly]: Car troubles. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: second. how do u know this song…. do u talk to other girls…. 

[busstopbilly]: Does my little sister count? She’s the one who told me about the song. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: ok period never mind. so she’s basically a real one for 1. listening and 2. putting you on 

[busstopbilly]: Would it bother you if I did? 

[busstopbilly]: Talk to other girls? 

[busstopbilly]: :) 

that was always the line that the two of you toed. on a day to day basis – making jokes about the one thing that you never seemed to talk about. 

that things, at least on your end, felt dangerously real at times. that when someone at the bar asked you if you were seeing anyone, your first thought would always be yes. because it felt wrong to say no. 

you were convinced that if you knew him in person, he’d be your boyfriend. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: DO YOU? 

[busstopbilly]: I can say it again. Would it bother you if I did? 

[lizontopoftheworld]: tbh wait

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’re obviously your own person. i was obviously just joking AND if you are talking to someone else it wouldn’t bother me. that doesn’t affect the fact that we’re friends and talk to each other here and there AND i would be very happy for you if you did because you deserve it 

that was the other thing. anonymity always presented a certain fear. that one day, he would stop responding. 

and that he’d be lost to you forever because you’d never be able to find him again. no identifying features, a vague username, and the conversations left as a reminder. 

[busstopbilly]: Wow. It usually takes the 3 o’clock slump to get you rambling about how we as people are deserving of the good, honest love. What gives? 

[busstopbilly]: For what it’s worth, no, I do not talk to other girls. Besides my sister and my mom, obviously. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: YIPEEEEEE 

[busstopbilly]: What happened to “that wouldn’t bother me”? 

[lizontopoftheworld]: ….next question. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: your sister seems cool. can i meet her someday? 

[busstopbilly]: Hilarious. 

[busstopbilly]: Yes, you can. 

you’re thrown out of the conversation by three consecutive honks – and sasha waving her arm out the car door – as you shoot one last message. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: my ride is here! have a great day billy boy :D 

you close your phone as you climb into sasha’s car, noting the two iced coffee cups in the holder, as you shoot her a smile. 

sasha offers to drop you off at the hospital on the way to the lab. 

it’s something that she does often – suggest that you run errands with her, study with her at the cafe, walk together to the lab. there’s moments where you feel bad about it, that she dictates the friendship so much, because you’re never one to suggest it at first. 

it’s not your fault that this aspect of friendship felt like it was foreign to you. or that it seemed like something you’d never be able to overcome. 

you didn’t grow up with friends that functioned like family. they always felt more transactional – though that was almost by design, on your part. 

“good morning sash.” 

“nico made you a coffee!” 

you smile. 

“awful kind of him.” 

sasha gives you a smile as she hunches over the wheel, looking over her shoulder, as she turns on to the street. 

“he just feels bad about the party you know…when he…” 

“threw up all over my shoes? yeah. i recall.” 

“he’s sorry! and he made you a sweet iced hazelnut coffee to make up for it.” 

you smile, shaking your head as you reach for the aux cord in her car. 

sasha had a penchant for being indecisive, a little bit too stuck in the situation sometimes, down to the details. you knew deep down that niccolo probably didn’t care much about the vomit and hadn’t thought about it since – and that she was trying to save imaginary face by gifting you a coffee in his name. 

it was hard for her to participate in things normally, in her words, with people who felt like they were high stakes. 

it was one of the reasons that she loved to hang out with you. she said it was easy to tell that you didn’t care much about that type of thing in the first place.

you wondered if it was a compliment – that you were so palatable to people’s taste. or a comment on how you felt so adaptable that there was nothing rigid or cemented about your personality to warrant a second thought.

“oh wait. this is an olivia rodrigo song right?” sasha asks. 

“yeah.” 

“aren’t her songs like…like really sad?” 

“i guess. a good amount of them are.” 

“i hate sad music. it just makes me so….so…” 

you try not to laugh. 

“sad?” 

sasha rolls her eyes. 

“you know what i mean. i listen to the song and then i start thinking about how i relate to it. and then i start wallowing.” sasha comments. 

“i do that too.” 

“god, isn’t it such a waste of time? sometimes it’s like…so overwhelming that it takes over my entire day. i can’t do anything but sit there and just feel it all.” 

and there was the key difference between you and sasha. it always made itself apparent, in almost every interaction that you had with her, but it said more about the way your rotten mind was wired to work, than her temperament. 

she seemed to repel the idea of sadness. you wallowed in it.

it was something that you thought about often when you looked at sasha. when you looked at yourself in the mirror. that her smile seemed to fit perfectly on her face – bright brown eyes that lit up whenever she talked, two dimples that were always visible on her cheeks, and an infectious smile.  

sometimes you felt like light didn’t fully reach the center of your eyes. that your smile didn’t look right on your face – that it did, but it just didn’t look like hers. infectious. encouraging and warm. 

that sadness sat in all of your wrinkles and lines and that it was there to stay. that no matter how you tried, it would always be there. 

“yeah. i’ll change it. bad start to the morning.” you state. 

“plus, you need all the luck you can get.” 

you groan. 

“don’t remind me please.” 

eren didn’t seem too happy to have you involved in his project. and that made two of you. 

you could appreciate that he was organized – scheduling mandatory meetings a week in advance, letting you bring his undergrad since he was bringing his – and never sparing you a second glance beside it. 

what you couldn’t appreciate was that he didn’t seem to want your help at all. you understand why it was warranted, especially for someone like him. you knew for a fact that he would have zero shred of bedside manner, no way to interact with patients that was sensitive or appropriate – since he couldn’t even seem to do it with normal people. 

making comments about jean and sasha, refusing to talk to anyone besides levi and hange at dinners, being so arrogant about the entire thing that he thought he was above it. 

you wonder how him and grisha jaeger were even related. 

you reach for the coffee, trying to banish the thought and the impending irritation that arose from the thought of both of them combined, just for it to consequently spill all over your top. 

“oh my god.” 

one of the ice cubes slithers all the way down the bottom of your shirt, landing in your lap, as you miserably eye the horrendous dark brown stain coating your white button up shirt. it sends a wave of goosebumps down your skin – the stickiness of the syrup and the ice cold liquid, as you can’t help but groan. 

sometimes it felt like these types of things only happened to you. 

“sasha.” 

“he must have not closed the lid properly. he didn’t do it on purpose!” 

you turn to glare at her. 

“i mean, obviously not. do you have napkins? or a spare shirt by the grace of god?” 

“napkins are in front in the glove box. and no…niccolo just took all my shirts out the other day so he could wash them.” 

you give her a wry smile. 

“of course he did.” you joke. 

“i swear to god. he didn’t mean it!”

the napkins do little to fix the mark – except smear it farther across the fabric – as you give her a dry laugh. 

“i know. relax.” 

“you’re not mad right?” 

“no. just anticipating some comment from eren about dress code and professionalism, that’s all. if anything, that makes my entire thing easier since he can’t pick on something else i was doing wrong that i was seemingly blissfully unaware of.” 

you give up after two minutes of dabbing, most of the wetness drained from the shirt and the stick gone from your sing, as you turn to sasha. 

“what are you going to work on today?” 

“mikasa’s project. well mine, but hers, you know?” 

“yeah. does she at least seem excited about it?” 

“i mean, it’s insane experience to have as a project lead. i don’t know why she wouldn’t get in the next time.” 

“that’s true. plus, six spots and none of the people in the program are affiliated with the lab so, she has a good shot.” 

“i just hope she gets it. i would end up on the news if i got rejected as second time after putting in all that work.” 

sasha rolls right up to the front of the hospital – and you note that she awkwardly eyes the stain – as you give her a smile. you can see eren sitting at the front bench, gabi and falco sitting by his side, as you swallow down the contempt in your mouth.

you clear your throat, catching all of their attention, as you note all of their expressions. gabi and falco have a total pinch of pity in both of their eyes and eren just looks irritated as they eye the stain.

“you have to be kidding, right?” eren asks. 

“sasha drove me here and her…boyfriend didn’t put the lid on the coffee properly. it’s not my fault.” 

“do you have another shirt?” eren asks. 

“obviously not. you think i’d show my face before his excellency without it?” you ask. 

that earns you a laugh from falco and gabi, who you turn to give a smile to, before looking back to eren. he rolls his eyes, making a dramatic show of pinching the bridge of his nose, as he digs into his pocket. 

“this is your badge. maybe we can get you one of those bright pink shirts from the gift shop.” 

“eren. don’t be a dick. just give her your shirt.” gabi states. 

erwin had decided to pair gabi with eren and falco with you, just based on compatibility and interests, and it was one of the reasons that you had utter faith in erwin as a leader. 

gabi had a penchant to keep eren on his toes. she wasn’t exactly afraid of his bitter personality, but instead, very eager to win him over. 

it reminded you of when you first met eren and thought you could do the same. though unlike gabi, you quickly decided that it was a lost cause. 

“what?” 

“you’re wearing an undershirt, aren’t you? just give her the button up.” gabi states. 

“gabi. wearing a short sleeved t-shirt here isn’t exactly professional.” eren responds. 

“you know what’s even more unprofessional? letting one of your team members look bad when you can help them. no offense, y/n.” 

you smile. 

“none taken.” 

“they’re going to give us white coats that’ll cover up your arms. but it won’t cover up the stain, so just be a gentleman, and give her your shirt.” gabi states. 

eren gives her a menacing glare – though you think that he just looks like that, that it can’t intentionally be by design to look so hateful all the time – while he ponders the thought. he must have a soft spot for gabi or something, probably something that reminds him of the sister you’ve heard briefly about, as he reaches down and starts unbuttoning his shirt. 

“falco, gabi. go check in at the desk at the front.” 

you watch as the two of them scuttle off, giggling under their breaths as they run through the round-a-bout doors. you turn to eren, who hands you the shirt, as you shoot him a smile. 

“thank you, eren. i really appreciate it.” 

“next time, anticipate being prepared.” 

you roll your eyes. was it impossible for him to be polite? 

“do you want me to carry a spare of every article of clothing for me in the off chance that i spill something on myself?” 

“off chance is a little kind. it literally happened just now.” eren mutters. 

you bite down on your cheek as you put his shirt on, tucking in the excess fabric into your pants. you unclip his badge from the shirt and hand it over to him, as the two of you join falco and gabi at the elevators. 

eren clears his throat as the four of you enter the elevator, shooting gabi a look, as she drops her conversation. you turn to falco and give him an eye roll – your frustrations with eren well known to him – as falco steps back and joins you. 

“gabi. what’s a lesion?” 

“areas of damaged brain tissue. all the patients we’re seeing today got their brain lesions from injuries that they got, but you can also get lesions from certain diseases.” gabi repeats. 

you hate that eren does this. makes her learn through fear of disappointing him. falco told you that she spent all of her free time outside of the fellowship memorizing as much as she could to make sure that she would get all of his questions right. 

“what region are we looking at today?” eren asks.

“hippocampus this week. amygdala next week, but there’s a focus on the temporal lobe.” 

you spare yourself as you tap falco on the shoulder, lowering your voice. 

“how’s your brother doing?” 

falco gives you a shrug, as you reach forward and squeeze his shoulder. two week ago, you gave him the entire week off because his brother got into a car accident – and from what levi had told you, he had yet to recover. 

“same old.” 

“if you need anything, can you let me know?” you ask. 

falco awkwardly reaches for the back of his neck, pushing down the ends of his hair, as you exit the elevator. 

“i’ll let you know, okay?” 

you give him a nod as you catch up to eren and gabi, the two of them holding out the white coats to you as you pull them on and walk into the briefing meeting. 

--

the day goes well for the most part. you’re counting your lucky stars through the training that it’s mostly basic procedures, sanitation rules and the such, and you’re just going through the motions. 

it goes well for the most part, until the very end. and it’s almost like you can anticipate it – eren having a horrible interaction with someone that would put you off – that it’s almost laughable. 

you interact with one patient at the end of the day, just to screen if they wanted to participate in eren’s study. and of course, he has to push the limits and ask a question that goes too far. 

it just bothers you that it was gabi on the chopping block. 

“okay, the patient’s name is gabriela alvarez. she’s from the area, she got injured in a motor cycle accident. her family isn’t here since they all had work, so it’ll just be her. we’re just going to walk in, ask her if she wants to participate in the study, and then fill out screening forms. if she declines, we’ll just leave.” 

you all give him a nod. 

“gabi. what is it?” eren asks. 

“what? nothing.” gabi responds. 

“you made a face when i just said that. is there a problem?” eren asks. 

you hate the tone. he could have just asked her if something was wrong – not insinuating that she had a problem. 

“no, eren. i’m good. i’ve just never done this before.” gabi states. 

“don’t worry. that’s why y/n and falco are here. they have experience with this type of thing.” eren states. 

you and falco turn towards gabi, giving her a smile. 

“we can lead for this one if you wanted? just so you could see how it goes?” you ask.

gabi shakes her head, immediately turned off by the thought, as she gives you both a halfhearted smile back. 

“no, no. i got it, i’m here for a reason.” 

you swallow down the retort as the group of you walk in. that her not taking the lead wouldn’t insinuate that she wasn’t meant to be here. that she could learn without being put on the spot.

despite the fact, eren seems to lead the entire thing. gabi doesn’t have to worry about talking, because eren barely lets her get a word in – with a prerehearsed spiel you’re convinced he practiced in the mirror. 

“we would really appreciate if you could participate in the study. it’s totally optional, but it would really help us better understand the nature of the injury and help other people in the future.” eren finishes. 

arrogance. 

the lady’s barely forty years old, a kind smile like sasha’s – sweetness that melted into her skin – and it made your chest pang that she seemed confused. sitting in a hospital room, alone. listening to people like eren jabber all day, with no one to consult or talk to for advice. 

and there’s silence, an awkward silence where she’s supposed to respond, and after the fact, she turns to look at gabi. 

“you guys would take my information?” she asks.

“it’s all removed when we analyze it.” gabi offers. 

“but…but there would be record of all my information and such that i did it?” 

gabi sighs. 

“no one can have access to it. it’s just so that we note down who did the experiment, that the results weren’t falsified.” 

gabriella seemes turned off by the idea entirely, shaking her head. 

“i would love to help, but…but you know i can’t.” 

you watch as she bores her eyes into gabi’s – and shockingly enough – that she reaches forward and grabs her hand. 

“i know. i’ll talk to them about it. i’ll see you later, okay?” she murmurs, quiet enough that you can barely hear it. 

eren turns to you, giving you a questioning look, as you shrug. the four of you subsequently leave the room and eren doesn’t waste a single second in the hallway. 

“do you know her?” eren asks. 

gabi gives him a nod, barely meeting his eye. 

“yeah. yeah, she’s friends with my mom. they’ve known each other for a while.” 

“so you know why she won’t do it?” eren asks. 

you nudge him in the side. 

“you can’t coerce people into participating, eren.” you note. 

“i’m not coercing her. i just want to know so that we can keep it in mind for future patients. change up how i market the entire thing. why won’t she do it?” eren asks. 

you watch as gabi gives him a nervous look, eyes flickering in between him and falco, as she scrunches up her shoulders. 

“gabi. you obviously don’t have to answer. don’t feel the need to share anything too personal.” you offer. 

gabi gives you a smile before turning back to eren and it’s almost like you can see it in her face. that she’s folding. 

“she met my mom through the church that we go to. she also gave my mom a contact for an agent that can help her apply for...citizenship. she’s undocumented, like my mom is, and that’s why she won’t do it. if the reviewers look into the validity of the study and look into her status, she…” 

“they wouldn’t do that.” eren offers, voice almost quiet. 

gabi sighs. you swear there’s a glistening sheen in her eyes. 

“i know. but she doesn’t know that. there’s a fear that comes with this type of thing and…” 

it hits a nerve. it hits a nerve and you think it’s horrible – you think eren’s horrendous for putting her on the spot like that, for questioning her further – and you hate him for it. 

“okay, gabi. well, we’re done for the day anyways, so do you want to go get the car?” eren asks, holding the keys out in front of her.

she gives eren a smile, as she nods and takes them from him. you turn to falco, giving him a beckon to follow her, as he shoots you a grateful smile and speed walks behind her. the two of you watch as they wave from behind the elevator, before you note the empty hallway, and turn back to eren. 

“you’re an asshole.” you state. 

eren looks up from the file in his hand, eyes wide, as he looks up at you. 

“i beg your pardon?” 

“i know you heard me. you’re an asshole. you had no right to push her into sharing something that was obviously personal for her. and you have no right to be so hard on her all the time.” 

eren flips the folder shut, tucking it under his elbow, as he digs his hands into the pockets of his white coat. you can tell that he’s irritated – that he can’t hide the malice in his eyes – and it drives you insane. 

that he still has the audacity to be mad. 

“i’m hard on her?” he asks. 

“of course you’re hard on her. she spends all of her free time memorizing useless facts that teach her shit about what it’s like to do research. you should be supporting her, asking her questions that encourage her to explore what it is that we’re doing on our own, why we made the experiment the way that we did. you have to know that this does nothing for her.” 

eren rolls her eyes. 

“and you want me to do what? coddle her like you coddle falco?” 

“excuse me?” 

“you don’t need to walk him through every line of code that he writes. he can find articles to read and explore on his own, you’re setting him up with bad expectations that he’s going to find easy help when he has to do this on his own.” 

“is there something so wrong with that? getting help? god forbid i give him a good foundation on the things he has to know before putting him in the deep end.” 

eren rolls his eyes. 

“being helpless is how you learn.” 

you glare at him. 

“you might get off on that type of thing, but i certainly don’t.” 

“what type of thing?” 

you sigh, balling your fists at your side, as you try to stop your voice from wavering. 

“she’s been trying to vye for your approval since she met you – and…and you kept asking. you made her feel like she had to give that to you, so that she could get points. it’s cruel and senseless, using something like that against someone. especially when it’s something…a situation that’s so foreign to you. you have no idea what it’s like to struggle like that. and on top of that, you’re going to be an asshole and make her get your car? so yeah, you get off on that type of thing. acting like you’re better than people, like you have a right to know, because you’re important.” 

eren sighs. 

“and what makes you think i didn’t know already?” eren asks. 

“what?” 

“i know you heard me. what makes you think that i didn’t know already? because gabi actually told me one of the first days that she got here. i’ve known for some time because she’s actually trusted me enough to tell me – not because i cornered her into it for brownie points.” 

eren seems to lean closer, looming over you as he looks down at you. 

“i don’t coddle gabi, because that’s something that doesn’t motivate her. the same way it’s something that doesn’t motivate you. i know damn well from the way you look at sasha and hange, hange and annie, that you think that it’s something you want. being buddy buddy the way hange is with us. but i’ve known from the second i met you, that you live for that type of thing. proving yourself, having to work for someone’s approval, because it won’t motivate you otherwise, the same way it won’t motivate gabi. there’s a reason that you got paired with levi, y/n. there’s a reason you’re so pissed off watching her work for it – because you have some insecure sense of self worth that you don’t deserve to be here and you’re scared she feels that way too.”  

you swallow down the bile in your throat. 

“are you watching me or something?” 

“only because you irritate me just as much as i irritate you. don’t think that i don’t turn my nose up at everything you say and that i don’t notice that you do it to me too.” eren responds. 

you bite so hard into your cheek that you swear you draw blood. 

“are you done? how long did that one take to rehearse in the mirror?” 

eren clenches his draw. 

“no. i’m not the asshole that makes his undergraduate student get his car. i got a flat tire and she offered to drive me here. i had her key, because her pants don’t have pockets.” eren responds, stalking towards the elevator, as you begrudgingly follow. 

it’s an awkward elevator ride down, completely silent until the ding, as the two of you walk out to the front of the hospital. the suns dipping down into the horizon, as gabi and falco lean against eren’s car, quietly talking. 

you give them a wave, the two of them sitting up, as you and eren walk up to them. 

“eren. can i talk to you for a second?” falco asks. 

eren gives him a nod, gesturing for him to follow towards the left, as you take falco’s spot next to gabi. you eye the two of them, noting falco’s characteristically nervous hands moving rapidly as he talks to eren. 

“what are they talking about?” you ask. 

“falco’s going to ask eren if colt can do the trial. he has lesions…or…or falco thinks he might, he just can’t remember right.” 

you look over at him. 

“he isn’t getting any better is he?” 

gabi shakes her head. 

“falco says that colt doesn’t even remember him.” 

you nod. 

“listen. i wanted to talk to you about something, if…if that’s okay.” 

gabi looks over at you, eyes expectant as you look down at the uneven gravel. 

“my mom recently got her citizenship status. my dad’s is being processed right now and…and it’s because my brother married an immigration lawyer. she’s really good and…and she could help you. and i can cover it for you, if you need me to.” you state. 

“what?” 

“she is really good. i can’t promise anything but, it’s worked out well for us, if you want another opinion.” 

gabi gives you a smile, cheeks almost pink as she follows your suit, staring down at the ground. 

“i couldn’t let you pay for that.” 

“she owes me a favor…and she’s my sister. i know we don’t know each other that well but, i…i get that this type of thing can….i don’t know.” 

you pause. 

“i just want you to enjoy your summer here so that you can see if research is your thing, no stress. i know it can be a lot at times.” 

gabi gives you a smile. 

“i’ll think about it, okay?” 

“please don’t hesitate, okay?” 

“i won’t.” 

eren and falco trail back to the two of you – falco and gabi giving each other a smile – as you turn to look at eren. 

“i want my shirt back tomorrow.” eren states, giving you a glare. 

“i’ll dry clean it for you, your highness.” you respond, giving it right back. 

“do you need a ride, y/n?” falco asks. 

you turn to him, giving him a smile, as you nod. the two of you trail into the parking lot, as you quietly sink into falco’s passenger seat, and nearly pull at the front strands of your hair. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: you gave me a bad omen. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: truly is brutal out here. 

[busstopbilly]: Tell me about it. 

[busstopbilly]: In a shocking turn of events, the wallflower actually cussed me out today. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: HELLO? 

[lizontopoftheworld]: woah it’s been so long since i’ve heard about her. what gives? don’t tell me she did it again?

[bussstopbilly]: Oh, she definitely did. 

[busstopbilly]: I swear to god, I despise her because she’s just like everyone else. She thinks I’m exactly like my dad. It’s almost like she makes it a point to bring it up. That I don’t understand because everything came to me easily. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’re obviously not like your dad 

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’ll be out of this thing soon 

[busstopbilly]: What happened to you? 

[lizontopoftheworld]: stupid idiot asshole misogynistic ugly prick 

[busstopbilly]: But of course. 

[busstopbilly]: If it’s any solace, he only feels the need to put you down because he knows how great you are. It wouldn’t be a thing to him – he’s purposely making it into a competition becuase he feels inferior. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: i guess 

[busstopbilly]: Tomorrow is another day. 

[busstopbilly]: And you shouldn’t listen to sad songs when you go home. 

[lizontopoftheworld[: BOOOOOOOOOO

[lizontopoftheworld]: but it’s so fun 

[busstopbilly]: Maybe. 

[bussstopbilly]: I just don’t want you to cry or feel like you’re defeated. I hate thinking that you’re sitting there feeling like you don’t fit in. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: i don’t 

[bussstopbilly]: And that’s a good thing. Research, that type of career – it’s already filled with monotony. 

[busstopbilly]: You make things interesting. You’re there for a reason. 

[lizontoptheworld]: you make me sound so important 

[busstopbilly]: You are important. In more ways than one, obviously. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: chronic flirt….

[busstopbilly]: It’s good for your health. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: normal people eat vitamins. or like workout or something. 

[busstopbilly]: We’re not normal people, are we?

you can’t help but smile. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: no. of course not. 

[busstopbilly]: :) 

[busstopbilly]: You and me, Liz. 

[lizontopoftheworld]: my song is ribs by lorde 

[busstopbilly]: Because I’m the only friend you need?

[lizontopoftheworld]: so observant 

[busstopbilly]: Eh. 

[busstopbilly]: Only for you.

--

next chapter

an: hehe

taglist: @invisible-mori @multiplefandomthings @chericos @wheredidmycrowngo @chaoticpxnda @aizzon @stuffeddeer @butterfly-skinnylegend @najaemism @hellokitty-doll @constanciandrea @iblamesusy @jaegersdiary @f4irygard3n @misadear @fell-4-u @coyloves @sobbangchan @you-always-made-me-blush @th0tformikasa @yell0wdreams @itzmeme

[tin-wufborf]

Tin's Favorite Sterek Fics (Part 1)

Okay, so listen. A few months back, I mentioned the possibility of me doing a rec list of all the Sterek fics I like to re-read (basically my comfort library), right? Well, it turns out that what I thought was going to be a list of, like, 50 fics max is now, far, far, far, FAR longer than that to the point that I don't actually even have a number to provide due to the fact that I still finding more and more to add to the list. I really hate the idea putting them all in a single post--as someone who primarily engages with this site via it's mobile app, I personally find super long lists harder to navigate, especially when you lose your place and have to start from the top--soooo, I have decided to instead release my recommendations in a series of posts containing 15-20 fics/series each instead of dumping the whole library on you at once. This post marks the first of (almost certainly) many, so I hope you all enjoy!

List and links to next parts below the cut.

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DISCLAIMER: This is me warning you all that some of the fics I've included in this list may cover explicit, dark, and/or "taboo" subject matters. I cannot express enough how little I care what anyone thinks about any of that; all I want is for you to use caution when reading anything I've listed here and to please review and heed whatever tags the authors have provided in order to keep yourselves safe. Your experience from this point on is your own responsibility, not mine and not the authors'.

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20

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The Boy Who Loved Wolves by orphan_account (NR | 1/1 | 1,522)

Stiles always loved the tamed wolves his tribe used for hunting. When he finds himself face-to-face with an actual wolf, an alpha no less, how will it change him? And how will his tribe react to his change? Based on Paul Goble's The Girl Who Loved Wild Horses.

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Will of the Weakness by Cheshyr (G | 1/1 | 2,248)

Whenever Derek threw Stiles into walls, he always assumed that the teenager didn't fight because he couldn't. Not once did he consider the possibility that Stiles was holding back.

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Making a Memory by beenwandering (M | 1/1 | 2,702)

Stiles was prepared for what would come after the bite. He knew what to expect and, despite his worries, he was ready for his new life. Apparently very ready. Or, “that one where Stiles can’t be anything other than Stiles, even when he’s a wolf."

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A Cottage in the Woods by FaeryQueen07 (G | 1/1 | 2,960)

“There’s a cottage,” Stiles’ mother says, and then she presses a kiss to his forehead before turning off the light.

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Tell Me, Are My Words Worth Less? by Cheshyr (G | 1/1 | 3,830)

Stiles is proud of his words. He loves to talk and tell and share and speak. And he absolutely, deep in his soul, hates his stutter.

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Little Lion Man by lyllytas (T | 1/1 | 5,029)

Sheriff Stilinski has just been fired from his job and is at a loss for his son's recent behavior. All he wants is the truth, so when Stiles comes to him with another crazy story, he's had enough of the jokes and lies. Unfortunately for him, this time Stiles was telling the truth. And Derek Hale is very protective of his pack.

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Love in the Groves series by Sheepnamedpig (3 works | T-E | 5,706)

1. The Oak Tree (E | 1/1 | 1,533) A forest spirit decides to take up residence in Derek's forest. 2. The Cherry Tree (E | 1/1 | 2,170) Derek and Stiles get married. And then they get married again. 3. The Ash Grove (T | 1/1 | 2,003) Stiles gets sick. Derek watches him carve the infection out.

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Knotting Expectations by chase_acow (E | 1/1 | 5,722)

Stiles gets an eyeful and suddenly getting up close and personal to a werewolf is all he can think about.

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go home, or make a home by lady_ragnell (T | 1/1 | 7,437)

In a world where Derek lets Scott kill the Alpha and get the cure, he has to figure out how to rebuild his life, with help from Stiles.

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Communication (And the Lack Thereof) by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (M | 1/1 | 7,687)

Sheriff Stilinski has been waiting for this day for a long time. As he watches his visitor walking up the path, he thinks about everything that's happened in the past year and his fingers twitch for his gun. But he can't do that; he can't shoot this man, as much as he might like to sometimes. Maybe he can go one worse, though.

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Integral to Survival by placeholdr (M | 1/1 | 8,529)

Derek is in the cell for about ten minutes before the lone door opens and a new body is tossed in. The person hits the floor with a grunt, rolls, and stands as the door is clanging shut.

“That’s really not the way to treat a guest!”

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Ten Weeks by scarletsptember (T | 1/1 | 10,024)

They say no news is good news at a doctor's office. The news Stiles gets changes everything.

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adore to see your eyes fly by 1001cranes (E | 1/1 | 11,309)

stiles is a pyromanic, derek is a sociopath. a match made in some kind of heaven. teen wolf kink meme fill.

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Blood and Bonds by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (NR | 1/1 | 20,595)

Stiles wants to lose his virginity, so Derek sets him up with a nice female werewolf at a pack mixer. Nine months later, the pack gets a rather stark reminder, and with it comes realizations, feeeeelings, and danger.

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Heat of the Moment by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (T | 1/1 | 21,320)

I'm the alpha now.

Derek never wanted the alpha power. But now he could feel the alpha power thrumming through his veins, calling to him and the those it considered pack.

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The Wolfvengers (Are Not A '90s Boyband) series by someonelsesheart (2 works | T | 23,152)

1. Angry Birds Is Not Meant To Be Taken Literally (T | 3/3 | 12,917) Derek gets that he and Stiles are kind of on a Need To Know basis, he really does, he just thinks that Stiles' godfather being in the freaking Avengers counts as pretty Need To Know. 2. The Captain America Law (T | 3/3 | 10,235) For the record, Derek is not very fond of talking about feelings, up to and including discussing his personal life, anything that has to do with Stiles, That Time With The High Heels, and games that include having to convey feelings. On a completely unrelated note, who knew that Tony Stark owned a sexy nurse's costume?

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An Exercise in Trust by ProofOfConcept, wilddragonflying (M | 1/1 | 25,529)

Derek Hale hasn't been able to hold a steady job for quite some time, thanks to his past. When an ad is posted for a babysitting job, Derek(thanks to his experience with his large extended family) jumps at the chance to maybe start rebuilding his life.

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hyper heart alone by hito (E | 1/1 | 34,570)

When Stiles returns home to help his father recover from an injury, he discovers that things have changed somewhat in his absence: Derek is working closely with Stiles' father, around the house and underfoot, generally annoying and disconcerting Stiles with his presence.

Well, Stiles isn't sure you could call all the sex they end up having annoying, but he isn't really willing to call it anything else, either.

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By and By series by 1001cranes (3 works | T-E | 35,611)

1. hear his alibis (T | 1/1 | 6,628) creepy never looked so cute - or, how Sheriff Stiles accidentally adopted a juvenile offender. (another) pyromaniac au. 2. multiplied by seven (E | 9/9 | 26,340) Derek isn't exactly like other people. Stiles doesn't say that because he's in love with him, or whatever. He's not like Scott, who thinks Allison hung the freaking moon, or was the first girl to ever let a guy under her bra. Derek isn't like other people. Sometimes he's not exactly sane. psychopaths in love - the story from Derek & Stiles's side. companion fic to 'hear his alibis' 3. up to the highest high (E | 1/1 | 2,643) Kate takes a day to think it over, to plan her attack. She's good on her feet, but a little preplanning never hurt anyone. And if she's going to make Derek bleed, well - she needs just the right weapon. The right words. A thousand little pinpricks and cuts, because Derek isn't the type you can cut off at the knees so easily. You have to look for that dark, hidden place to plant a seed of doubt, and Kate? Kate's good at that. "He wants to be with a girl," she says. Like poisoned honey. "Or he doesn't not want it, am I right?" You think that curiosity won't get the better of him one day?" She's got her hands on him when she says it. She feels the beating of his heart, the firmness of his pectoral muscles, because, hey, this is precisely the way she swings. And Derek might keep it pretty well tucked up under his cap, but he doesn't exactly hate the female persuasion himself. Or at least he's attracted to them. Same difference in the end. "Better the devil you know," she says, and from the way Derek's gaze narrows she's got a feeling she's won.

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Blood in the Water, Fire in the Sky: A Love Story series by ahab2692 (7 works | E | 69,750)

1. God, How Things Change (E | 1/1 | 9,056) After killing Peter Hale, Derek and Stiles have to deal with the aftermath: Scott doesn't want to forgive Derek for taking away his chance for the cure, Jackson struggles with adjusting to his newfound powers, and Lydia remains in a coma. Derek has his own demons to wrestle, and the more time he spends with Stiles, the less sure he is that he'll be able to control himself.

2. The World Spins, Regardless (E | 1/1 | 11,006) Stiles helps Derek expand his pack, and the two of them take steps forward in their newfound relationship. Meanwhile, new enemies arrive in the form of a dangerous pack of werewolves from a nearby town, as well as a pair of mysterious hunters with an unknown agenda. (Sequel to "God, How Things Change.") 3. Cracks in the Foundations (E | 1/1 | 10,107) Preparing for the oncoming war with an aggressive werewolf clan, Derek and Stiles make efforts to secure their friends' safety. Derek put the pack through a rigorous training regimen, and Stiles convinces him to form a temporary alliance with the Argents. However, no one is able to foresee a shocking loss that has a devastating effect on the pack's stability. (Sequel to "The World Spins, Regardless.") 4. The Wicker Throne and the Werewolf King (E | 1/1 | 11,241) Stiles and Lydia travel to a distant mining outpost in the woods to try and kill the Alpha of the rival pack. Meanwhile, Derek and Chris Argent struggle to ensure the safety of the pack in the aftermath of Stiles' recent loss. (Sequel to "Cracks in the Foundations.") 5. Conversation (and Carnage) (E | 1/1 | 9,096) Stiles attempts to negotiate with the Alpha. Derek attempts to negotiate with Meredith Wakefield. Hidden agendas lie beneath the surface. Everything is not as it seems. (Sequel to "The Wicker Throne and the Werewolf King.") 6. ...And Hell Followed With Him (E | 1/1 | 10,080) Stiles emerges victorious as the new Alpha. Derek and Chris Argent launch their attack on Meredith Wakefield. Stiles and Lydia return home. (Sequel to "Conversation (and Carnage).") 7. God, How Things Change (Redux) (E | 1/1 | 9,164) Stiles and Derek pay a visit to their last remaining enemy. The pack recovers in the aftermath. Everything ends. Everything begins. (Sequel to "...And Hell Followed With Him".)

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************************************************************************

[criminallymoral]

Anyways, days ago my internet bitched and while I had no wifi I did some queerplatonic husband Alastor (from Hazbin Hotel) headcanons, I had let it sit in case I wanted to add some more (I had that feeling that I forgot something yk) but it's been like a week and I don't even remember what I had wrote soooo

Qp husband Alastor Headcanons

Qp husband Alastor! That likes to (and according to your style) dress you in the prettiest outfits.

Qp husband Alastor! That you could annoy to an explosion point and he'd still never raise his hand at you.

Qp husband Alastor! That cooks and cleans your shared home.

Qp husband Alastor! That starts listening to and even broadcasting some of your favorite songs, no matter what genre.

Qp husband Alastor! That likes to lay on you and will wag his tail if you massage his deer-ears. (You're the only one allowed to do so)

Qp husband Alastor! That allows pda at the hotel but gets embarassed when he remembers he has audience.

Qp husband Alastor! That allows himself to cry on your shoulder.

Qp husband Alastor! That links arms when you two walk.

Qp husband Alastor! That'll open doors for you in the beginning of your relationship but as it progresses he'll close them on your face just to play with you.

Qp husband Alastor! That goes from offering his coat to ask for the one you're not even using when he's cold (he gets whiny if you say no).

Qp husband Alastor! Who's actually a big jokester and likes a lot of modern stuff.

Qp husband Alastor! Who doodles you both with hearts holding hands on his work sheets.

Qp husband Alastor! Who confides in you (don't break his trust, he'll cry, then kill you).

Qp husband Alastor! That's protective of you in a non toxic/controlling way.

Qp husband Alastor! That invites you to troll Vox with him and giggles like a teenage girl.

Qp husband Alastor! That'll get YOU a pet just to end up cuddling with it 24/7. (He's a cat dad for real sources: voices in my head).

Qp husband Alastor! That's actually cuddly and affectionate.

Qp husband Alastor! That looks up to you and is so proud to call you his partner.

Qp husband Alastor! That'd try to kill god himself if you died in an extermination.

Qp husband Alastor! That hears and remembers everything you tell him.

Qp husband Alastor! That'd slow dance with you in a moment and have a pillow fight in the other.

Qp husband Alastor! That massages your shoulders after a long day.

Qp husband Alastor! That focus so much on your presence he sometimes forgets he's literally in hell and is an overlord.

Qp husband Alastor! That loves taking baths with you (in a childish way, on a side note, he'd love if you washed his hair / he'd also wash yours).

Qp husband Alastor! That'll be by your side as soon as you call him (he worries <3).

Qp husband Alastor! That'll take you to a nice classy restaurant but would let himself be dragged to a party/rave by you after.

Qp husband Alastor! That sings along with you.

Qp husband Alastor! That loves your similarities AND your differences.

Qp husband Alastor! That genuinely laughs at your jokes. (He dad-jokes back)

Qp husband Alastor! That tries to make you laugh when you're down so you feel a bit better.

Qp husband Alastor! That sews your ruined clothes and even gets you both matching outfits.

Qp husband Alastor! That seems polite and cold but is just a caring childish mf on the inside.

Qp husband Alastor! That freezes (even stops smiling) and blushes like crazy if you compliment him (especially his voice).

Qp husband Alastor! That takes you to the studio and even lets you be his co-host.

Qp husband Alastor! That was a hell of a slowburn but was totally worth it.

I wanna dance in the rain with pookie 😔 and share some jambalaya under candle light 💔

[inkbomber]

okay my spoilery [movie3 and my fic] chaos theory [not that one] + godhood scribbling on the wall of my cell [largely incoherent] rambling below the cut

CHAOS THEORY THOUGHTS — CHAOS ENERGY — FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, UNDERSTANDING ABLE TO TRIGGER CHAOS CONTROL MORE EASILY

THAT’S ALSO WHY HE NEEDED THE SATELLITE SHIT, ORIGINALLY THIS WAS A PURSUIT OF CHAOS CONTROL AS PERFECT ENERGY SOURCE

ROBOTNIK CAN’T SAY I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE WHAT IF HE’S LYING? WHAT IF HE SAYS IT, AND THEIR LINK DOESN’T HUM? IS HE EVEN CAPABLE OF LOVE? WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR STONE TO BE THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVES HIM?

OH MY GOD.

ROBOTNIK NEEDS TO MAKE MUSHROOM COFFEE AND LICK THE QUILL TO GET HIS MIND WORKING FAST ENOUGH TO LOOP ON IT’S OWN, LIKE SONIC HAD TO BREAK A KIND OF SPEED BARRIER WHERE HIS PHYSICAL POINT IN SPACE TIME WAS IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE - HE’S NOT CRAZY HE’S NOT FUCKING CRAZY FOR ANY OF HIS SCIENTIFIC DECISIONS HE IS IN FACT THE SMARTEST MAN IN THE FUCKING WORLD HOLY SHIT

THIS GUY WAS ABOUT TO BREAK RING TECHNOLOGY WIDE OPEN, THIS IS A MAN WHO NEEDED AN EMPIRE’S WORTH OF RESOURCES TO OPEN HUMANITY UP TO IT’S FULL POTENTIAL, DUTY IS LOVE IS POWER THEY REVERBERATE OFF EACH OTHER IN A WAY THAT ACTIVELY SPARKS ROBOTNIK’S ENTIRE EXISTENCE HIS TIMELINE PLUCKED HIS TIME IN EMERALD MODE A LITERAL INCARNATION OF [THE UNIVERSE] HE IS ALL OF HIM IN THESE MOMENTS

IT IS HIS [literal] GOD COMPLEX THAT MAKES HIM CRAZY.

STRONG EMOTION REVERBERATING THROUGH PEOPLE WHO ARE COSMICALLY LINKED CAUSES A FEEDBACK LOOP ON THE BEINGS THAT ARE CONNECTED, TRIGGERING [CHAOS POWER] USAGE

BEINGS THAT ARE ENTANGLED ARE CONSIDERED THE SAME BEING BY THE UNIVERSE, HENCE WHY SONIC AND SHADOW CAN GO GODMODE AT THE SAME TIME, AND WHY ROBOTNIK’S LIGHTENING DOESN’T INJURE STONE

ROBOTNIK YELLING AT STONE [stone seeking to understand him, as always] HAD SIMILAR EFFECT, WHICH IS WHY THE QUILL STARTED GLOWING IN STONE’S POCKET AT THAT MOMENT OH MY GOD

THE JOLT FROM THE QUILL SPEEDS ROBOTNIK’S MIND UP ENOUGH TO LOOP THAT FIRST TIME AS WELL BECAUSE HE AND STONE KISS AND MAKEUP AT THAT POINT, [STRONG EMOTION] HE’S SO FUCKING READY [THEY’RE BOTH EXCITED, THIS IS THE THING THEY’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS, IT’S UNBELIEVABLE THAT IT WAS DROPPED IN THEIR LAP LIKE THIS] HOLY SHIT

ROBOTNIK HAS BEEN FUCKING HIGH AS A KITE FOR MONTHS, SELF-ANALYZING SIX FUCKING WAYS FROM SUNDAY, AND COMING UP WITH INSANE NEW CHAOS THEORY STUFF, INCLUDING HIS FOCUSING, PURPOSEFULLY, ON HIS FEELINGS [LOVE, IDIOT] FOR STONE

AFTERALL, ATOMS THAT ARE ENTANGLED AGREE ON THEIR STATE, THEY THOUGHT ABOUT EACH OTHER EVERY DAY, ROBOTNIK DREAMED OF STONE EVERY NIGHT. I WONDER. IF. THEY EVER DREAMED TOGETHER? DID THEY HIT JUST THE RIGHT COSMIC CHORD, AND THE QUILL GLOWS IN HIS GRASP AS HE SLEEPS? FUCK.

STONE GETS KNOCKED OUT AND ROBOTNIK HAS TO RELY ON WRATH TO GET HIM THROUGH THE FIGHT

FUCK! SHADOW USING HIS LOVE FOR MARIA TO EXERT CHAOS CONTROL - I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS LITERALLY CANON OH MY GOD

THAT’S THE POWER OF LOVE BABY

7 EMERALDS, 7 SINS, EVERY BAD OR GROSS IMPULSE

ROBOTNIK REQUIRING BLOOD SACRIFICE LMAO, WONDERING HOW MUCH OF ALCHEMY IS ACTUALLY APPLICABLE, SCIENTISTS HAVEN’T ALWAYS BEEN CALLED SCIENTIST [fucked as any church] THEY WERE PHILOSOPHERS, MEDICINE WOMEN, WITCHES, SAINTS - half beloved, half reviled

THE EMERALD IS A CONTROLLER

HAVING LOVE IN YOUR HEART WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE OTHERWISE CATACLYSMIC EXPERIENCE OF BEING A HUMAN BEING

CHAOS USERS BEING LITERAL INCARNATIONS OF THE UNIVERSE’S WILL, ROBOTNIK FORCING HIMSELF INTO THAT POSITION THROUGH HIS LOVE FOR STONE AND ABUSE OF THE SCIENTIFIC METHOD, HE IS THE BEST, HE IS THE SMARTEST, HE WILL SURVIVE THE BLAST THROUGH HIS STRONG EMOTION, MANIPULATING HIS OWN LOVE OF STONE INTO A PURE SORT OF CONTROL, SHADOW SURVIVES THE SAME WAY

ORGANIC CHAOS USERS ARE SOMEHOW PROHIBITED FROM KNOWING THE NATURE OF GOLDEN GODHOOD

STONE REFINES THE BADNIKS ENERGY SOURCE, COPIES SONIC’S QUILL STRUCTURE, COLOR OF ENERGY GETS CLOSER TO BLUE THE CLOSER HE GETS [I LOVE YOU PURPLE BOY]

THE SONIC UNIVERSE IS A LOVING UNIVERSE

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - I'm Late, I know

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Feb 2024 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Sign (Sat YT) ep 12fin - we waiting 2 weeks I guess? Bah.

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 13fin - I wasn't impressed by the last ep at all. Trash watch happened here.

My final thoughts:

Based on alittlebixth's omegaverse novel #พิษเบ๊บ’ set in the world of car racing omegaverse. Thailand brought us the world's first omegaverse BL but then failed to lean into the courage of its a/b/o convictions by not emphasizing the difference between our world & theirs, adding & subtracting characters & allegiances + a weak ending. With earnest performances, enthusiastic sex scenes, a fantastic side couple, and some delightful scenery chewing - the actors tried… poor things. It's just the story failed both them and their parent genre. Frankly? I just wanted it to be more outrageous and trashy, since I never expected it to be good. Instead, it was just… meh. 7/10

(Imma remind all the newbies that this is not unprecedented from me with hugely popular BL.)

Cooking Crush (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - I like it but there’s a high % of this show that doesn’t interest me. Anything to do with the side couple, or the friend group, or the cooking competition drives me into a comatose state of UGH. That means that in this episode, I paid attention to about 5 minutes worth. 

For Him (Thurs iQIYI) ep 11 of 12 - I'm ready for this to be done. I think they were trying to be this year's Big Dragon, but they just aren't good enough. I really didn’t need a third couple.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - I'm warming up to FueangKrom a bit. It’s cute. I am finding the pacing interesting. That pacing might be bad, but right now it’s simply different. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Love For Love's Sake (Korea Weds iQIYI) 5-6 of 8 - I still love this show a lot, but this 2 ep installment felt a little disjointed. I’m not sure if that’s the narrative structure or the subs. The captions are shockingly bad for a KBL and I don’t have enough Korean to make up for their clear failings. 

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 5 of 10 - Oh the return of the manic pixie dream ex. This is all very high school drama for purportedly grown-up adults. But them both being jealous and then kissing was sweet.  

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - They remain adorable and the sunshine robot is very sweet. But it is a little slow. 

Perfect Propose (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - I prefer the episodes when we get more of them onscreen together. But this was fine. 

Happy Ending (Korea Tues YT) 3fin - The ending disappointed me (are you surprised?). What can I say, not Strongberry's best as far as I’m concerned. High school besties that many could be sweethearts. I don’t like an ending that’s left up in the air. 6/10

It's Done but...

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - will binge when I have any spare time. 2024 is crazy busy for me so far.

The Servant and the Young Master - from Vietnam, it's on YouTube. I will give it a try when I have a window of time.

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) - A Burmese BL? @heretherebedork vouched for it, so I will give it a watch.

It's Airing But...

[NO INTERNATIONAL] Cherry Magic (Sat YouTube) ep 3 of 12 - yeah Japan put the smack down on our boys. Sadness. You can use a VPN if you like. Read all about it here.

Ossans Love Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 5 years later, will anything have changed? This is Japan so… probubly not. I won't be watching this. I disliked Season one and actively hated the follow ups. No thank you.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 14 eps - Dear Playboyy, it's not you, it’s me… I hate you. You’re about as deep (and as palatable) as a shot glass of cum. While I'm sure you’re someone’s kink, you're my weakest link. Goodbye. I DNFed this at ep 5. Frankly I'm impressed with myself for getting that far.

7 Days Before Valentine (Weds WeTV) 12 eps - Gave me Luminous Solution vibes. It finished, is it worth it?

Dead Friend Forever (Thai Sat iQIYI) 12 eps - finished, horror, supposed to be very philosophical, I think I'll give it a go.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - dropped it at ep 4.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Up

2/16 My Strawberry Film (Japan Gaga) - not quite sure how much BL this one is, because... Japan, but we shall see.

2/17 A Secretly Love (Thai WeTV) - Khonprot, a third-year head hazer of the engineering faculty, has a secret crush on Pluem, a tsundere fourth-year head hazer. Over the years, he's seen Pluem cycle through many girlfriends. Recently, after a public breakup, however, Khonprot thinks maybe a boy has a chance. Unless this is really good I probably won't I hate the WeTV interface...

Still Coming in Feb

2/24 Unknown (Taiwan Youku) 12 eps - Older brother tough guy criminal breadwinner looks after his sister and defacto adopted little brother. Little bother falls in love with him and is sent away after a stolen kiss. But when he comes back…

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We gotta talk about LFLS this week. Look at Korea go!

Talking about a dead fish kiss, how meta! This will end up on one of my best of the year moments. I could not have been more gobsmacked.

Also something rarely directly addressed, particularly for same-sex firsts.

And then, a claiming trope, a personal favorite of mine.

Thank you Korea!

I just love them. (Pit Babe)

(Last week)

[trancylovecraft]

(KNY)(MASTERLIST) You, Shibou. I, Kokoro

☆♡☆ AO3 LINK ☆♡☆

YANDERE PLATONIC KOKUSHIBO x SISTER! READER

[F/N], A shrine-maiden that was brutally killed in the Sengoku era reincarnates five hundred years later as the strongest hashira alive.

However, Her older brother turned demon is haunted by her passing every day, Grieving over the loss of his little sister.

When they finally meet each other again, He really can't blame himself for what he does next.

GENRE(s): Tragedy, Slow Burn, Heavy Angst, Dark Fantasy, Classical Driven, Action, Drama.

RECCOMENDATION: While not necessary at all, I highly suggest listening to Achilles, Come down. While reading this fanfic as it a song that helped inspire the story and mood.

Thank you!

☆♡☆CHAPTERS ☆♡☆

1, Chapter One: "Michi-Nii" 2, Chapter Two: "You crazy-ass cosmonaut, Remember your virtue, Redemption lies plainly in truth." 3. Chapter Three: "Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, jump now. You are absent of cause or excuse. So self-indulgent and self-referential, No audience could ever want you" 4. Chapter Four: "Achilles, Achilles, Achilles, come down Won't you get up off, get up off the roof?" 5. Chapter Five: "These explanations are valid. But it should be known if the same day a friend of the desperate hasn't spoken to him with an indifferent tone.." 6. Chapter Six: "Loathe the way they light candles in Rome. But love the sweet air of the votives" 7. Chapter Seven: "The souvenirs of a lost country, the hope of a promised land. This divorce between the woman of her life-" 8. Chapter Eight: "You’re scaring us and all of us, some of us love you Achilles, it’s not much but there’s proof" 9. Chapter Nine: "Feel your breath course frankly below and see life as a worthy opponent" 10. Chapter Ten: "I witness that a lot of people are dying because they consider that life is not worth living." 11. Chapter Eleven: "He changed a lot after that and that this story had-" 12. Chapter Twelve: "Do not waste yourself on this roof" 13. Chapter Thirteen: "You will not be more than a rat in the gutter" 14. Chapter Fourteen: "..So much more than a rat" 15. Chapter Fifteen: "Soldier on, Achilles." 16. Chapter Sixteen: "You crave the applause yet hate the attention, Then miss it" 17. Chapter Seventeen: "But it's cool in a weird way that I wish I could be" 18. Chapter Eighteen: "Where you go, I'm going." 19. Chapter Nineteen: "Your act is a ruse."

(INCOMPLETE, MORE SOON)

-----

SIDE-WORKS

Mitsuri x Reader: You, Tsuri

You, 'Katsu.

Daughter of Ōkami (To Scorch The Sun)

[sissylittlefeather]

This is the Story

Chapter 7

A/N: AHHHH HERE IT IS! The long-awaited moment has finally come! I really hope it was worth the wait 🤞🏽 (special thanks to @elvisfatass and @ccab for their help with ideas for this one!)

ICYMI: This is the series with Elvis in 1973 and the OC Grace Dubois, author and single mom of 6yo Wendy. Need to catch up? Here are the links:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Warnings: 18+ NO MINORS, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (m&f receiving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie

Word count: 6k

Song:

They sleep this way for the next week and a half. And no matter how hard they try, they always wake up in the morning cuddled together in the middle of the bed.

******

On the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Elvis wakes up with Grace in his arms. He's back to feeling normal, but he's hesitant to let her know that. He pulls back a bit so that they're both on their sides facing each other and looks at her while she sleeps. Her hair is wild and she has no makeup on, but by now he's used to her like this. Somehow he finds her even more beautiful this way, which is not how he normally feels at all. Still, something about her raw vulnerability in the morning makes him crazy. The last three mornings he's had to roll away from her quickly in an attempt to hide his erection. He wonders if she's noticed at all.

Today, feeling better than he has since before Halloween, he has an overwhelming impulse to touch her in a different way. His eyes wander down to her breasts and he suppresses a moan at the thought of running his thumb over her nipple. He thinks about putting his hand on her hip and pulling her close to him as he kisses her neck, waking her with the feeling of him pressed against her. He wants to make love to her more than he's ever wanted any other woman before.

He settles for brushing her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. He's about to lean in and kiss her forehead when she stirs and opens her eyes.

"Hi." She smiles and he almost melts.

"Good morning. You want some breakfast?"

"Mmm I need a shower first." She turns over on her back and stretches. Elvis is dying to ask if he can join her, but he stops himself. She's been so kind to him while he was sick. The last thing she probably wants is for him to come on to her. He sits up, careful to keep his lap hidden with the covers. Just then she pops up in a panic.

"What day is it?!"

"It's Tuesday."

"Thanksgiving is this week!"

"Yes. It is. Why?"

"I'm supposed to go home tomorrow!" Elvis's heart sinks. He didn't realize she would be leaving.

"Home?"

"Yes. I go to my mom's house for Thanksgiving."

"Oh."

"What are you and Lisa doing?"

"Priscilla has Lisa. It's just me." He gets quiet thinking about spending the holiday alone. The mafia guys all have families to go home to.

"Come with me." He whips his head around to look at Grace. Is she serious?

"Really?" She nods.

"Yes, really. Wendy and I will leave tomorrow around noon. It's only about 6 hours in the car from here, I think." He thinks about what it would mean to meet Grace's family. And he'd have to travel without bodyguards.

"Where exactly are we going?" If it's a small enough place, he might be able to pull it off quietly.

"Tulsa, Oklahoma." He laughs, trying not to think of his character in GI Blues. He's been there before on tour and there's not much to it compared to some of the other places he's been. He could reasonably hide there. And even if he's seen, it's worth it to be with Grace.

"Well, alright then. Let's go home to Tulsa." She scoots closer to him in the bed and throws her arms around him. When she does, it changes the arrangement of the blankets, but Elvis doesn't notice as he's distracted by her pressing herself against him. When she backs up, she catches a glimpse of him and gasps. He quickly pulls the covers back up again.

"It's just because it's the morning..." He knows it's a dumb excuse. Grace starts giggling, which might be the cutest thing he's ever heard.

"I guess someone is feeling all better."

"I had a good nurse." They look at each other for a bit and the energy between them hangs heavy in the air. He's just about to throw caution to the wind and tackle her when there's a knock on the door.

"My boy, I need to speak with you." The door opens slowly revealing the Colonel and Grace launches herself out of the bed and into the bathroom. But she's not fast enough.

"What do you want, Colonel?" Elvis is obviously perturbed.

"Tell me that was not the ghost writer."

"And if it was?"

"My boy. You can have any woman in the world, except that one. Do you think she is interested in you for anything other than a good, juicy story to publish? I can see it now: My Time With Elvis: an Exposé."

Elvis feels his face flush, first in anger and then in embarrassment. Surely, that's not her motivation?

"Not Grace. She wouldn't."

"You are too trusting. You always have been."

"Colonel, just get out. You don't know what you're talking about."

"You will see." The Colonel turns to leave and closes the door loudly behind himself. Elvis looks at the bathroom door. Grace wouldn't do that to him. She opens the door carefully.

"Were you listening to that?"

"Yes. You know I would never-"

"I know, honey." He takes a deep breath. "So we're going to Tulsa tomorrow?"

"We are. I should probably go shower." She moves toward the door of the bedroom. Elvis was hoping to pick up where they left off, but the moment has passed. He sighs as she leaves to start the day.

******

"Daddy is coming with us to Nana's house?!" Grace nods as Wendy does a little happy dance.

"Yes, so we need to hurry and get the car packed. Let's go!" After hearing the news, Wendy picks up the pace of her packing, quickly throwing dresses and shoes into her bag.

Once they get the car packed, with Wendy settled in the back seat, Grace drives to Graceland to pick Elvis up. They decided to take her car because it would be less noticeable than any of his.

Her stomach turns over as they pull up. What was she thinking, inviting him to Tulsa? This is going to be very hard to explain to her family.

When she pulls up, he comes out of the house, suitcase in hand. She thinks about yesterday morning and how there had been a moment between them right before the Colonel came in. They had been in the same bed for so long without him making any kind of move that she was almost convinced again that he wasn't interested. And then yesterday morning, before the Colonel came in, the way he had looked at her...

"Do you want me to drive?" His voice pulls her from her fantasy.

"Oh! Sure, if you want to." She slides over to the passenger seat and he sits in the driver's seat next to her.

"Hi Daddy!" Wendy wraps her arms around his neck from behind.

"Hey, sweetie. Are you excited?"

"Yes! I can't wait for you to meet Nana. She's gonna love you." Grace laughs nervously. What she hadn't thought about is that her mother already loves Elvis. Having him in her home might drive her absolutely nuts. Wendy goes back to her spot on the back seat and Elvis pulls out of the driveway. At the gates, he carefully navigates through the crowd of fans, waving gently as Grace hides her face.

"What if they follow us?"

"They won't. Not that far, at least." He chuckles. "Or I hope they won't. I know my fans can be a little... enthusiastic... but surely they draw the line at a 6 hour road trip."

They drive for a while just chatting about random things. Eventually, Wendy calls from the backseat.

"Can we have some music?" Grace turns the radio on, humming along to whatever song is playing. The next song to come on is Suspicious Minds.

"Oh, no, we're not listening to this." Elvis reaches up to change the station.

"No, Daddy! This is your song! You have to sing it!" Elvis looks at Grace.

"Okay, but this is just for you, Wendy." He proceeds to sing the whole song in a full Vegas-style performance, complete with dance moves and fake microphone. Wendy giggles and cheers from the backseat and Grace does her best to suppress her laughter. The whole scene is so endearing that she wants to kiss him when it's done. Instead, she claps and cheers as he bows as well as he can while he drives.

Another hour passes and Wendy has to go to the bathroom. When they stop at a gas station, Grace goes to get out of the car.

"No, I want Daddy to take me." Elvis laughs and Grace puts her hand on her forehead.

"Sweetie, no, Daddy can't take you. He can't go in the girl's bathroom."

"Ha! You called him Daddy!" Wendy is ecstatic. She happily goes with Grace to the bathroom, leaving Elvis to pump the gas, a big smile spread across his face. When Wendy and Grace get back to the car, Elvis has a bag of sweets that he bought while they were in the bathroom. He hands it to Wendy and she takes it cheerfully. Grace looks at Elvis and shakes her head. He shrugs.

"What? I can't spoil her a little?"

"You're trouble, Daddy." Grace emphasizes the last word and smiles in an almost flirty way. Elvis clears his throat and Grace covers her mouth as blush rises in her cheeks.

"Oh God, that's not... shit." He laughs and speaks under his breath so Wendy won't hear.

"Honey, you can call me daddy any time you want to..." Grace meets his eyes with hers and it takes everything in her power not to jump on him and smash her lips against his. Wendy looks between them and blows a bubble with her bubblegum.

"Are you guys about to kiss?" Her little girl voice pulls them both back down to reality.

"No!" Grace grabs Wendy and puts her back in the car.

"Not yet." Elvis says under his breath again as he slides into the driver's seat.

******

The rest of the trip goes about the same, with everyone singing to the radio, stopping for gas and to go to the bathroom, and Grace and Elvis trying desperately not to flirt obviously in front of Wendy. About an hour before they arrive, Wendy falls asleep.

"So, what is your family like?" Elvis is a little curious about what he's going to be walking into.

"Well, it's just my mom. My dad died when I was young. And then my little sister and her husband and their three kids. It's not a big family, but we love it."

"It sounds perfect. How old were you when your dad died."

"I was 14."

"Oh. That must've been hard."

"It was." He notices that her eyes get glassy and she looks out the car window. He's all too familiar with the pain of losing a parent too soon, so he reaches over and takes her hand in his. She scoots a little closer to him on the seat and leans her head on his shoulder. He kisses the top of her head gently. They ride together like this in silence for a while.

"So is your family... will they know me?" She laughs, but doesn't move her head off of his shoulder.

"Yes. My mother loves you. She always has, since you first started doing things. My sister isn't crazy about you, but she knows who you are. They'll just be more shocked to see me with a man than anything else." She quickly corrects herself. "Well not with you, but you know what I mean." Elvis nods his head and takes a deep breath.

"Would it be so terrible if you were with me?" She lifts her head off his shoulder and looks up at him.

"Elvis, I... we..."

"I know we shouldn't. But what if we did anyway?"

"What about the book?"

"To hell with the book."

"Elvis. You know I can't just not write the book. And if anyone found out..."

"No, you're probably right." He pats her hand and then puts his back on the steering wheel. She scoots over to her side of the car and looks out the window, praying he doesn't notice the tears that slide down her cheeks, but he does. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries to focus on the road.

******

When they get to Grace's mom's house, it's after dinner time. The plan is to drop Wendy off and then head to their hotel. There isn't room for all of them to stay at Nana's, but Wendy always stays there with her cousins. Grace runs in to get Wendy settled.

"Hey, mom! We're here!"

"Come on in! We have leftovers, if you want some."

"No, I can't. There's... someone... in the car."

"In the car? Why don't you bring them in?" Grace looks around the room at her mom and sister.

"I need you to promise you won't freak out. I'm not bringing him in until tomorrow."

"Him? You brought a man home?" Grace's sister asks incredulously.

"Yes. And it's, well, it's Elvis Presley." Grace's mom drops the dish she was drying into the sink.

"I'm sorry; I thought you said Elvis Presley is coming to this house tomorrow."

"I did. You know I've been working with him on his book. He, um, didn't have anywhere to go for Thanksgiving, so I invited him here." Grace's sister laughs.

"Grace. Are you sleeping with Elvis Presley?" Her mother gasps.

"Maryann! That is not appropriate!" She turns to Grace and whispers. "Are you?"

"No! We're just friends! I just didn't want him to be alone for the holiday. So can he come tomorrow?"

"Of course!"

"And you will treat him like an everyday person? He's just a man. No autographs, no questions, nothing. Treat him like any other boyfriend- I mean FRIEND!"

"She's totally sleeping with him."

"MARYANN!" Both Grace and her mom holler at her sister at the same time. Then her mom chimes in.

"We will treat him like a normal person. We promise."

"No songs from GI Blues."

"I promise!" Her mom puts her hand on her heart.

"Okay. We're going to the hotel. TO SEPARATE ROOMS." Grace glares at her sister. "But we will be back tomorrow around noon."

She stomps out of the house and out to the car.

"Everything okay?" Elvis asks as she slides back into the passenger seat.

"Yes. Just my sister. It's fine." She guides him to the hotel, where they check-in and carry their bags up to the rooms. They laugh nervously when they realize they've been given adjoining rooms.

"I'll lock it." Elvis assures her.

"It's okay. It's not like we haven't spent the last week in the same bed."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess that's true. Do you want to...?" Grace shakes her head.

"Probably should try to break that habit, now that you're well again."

"Sure. Well. Goodnight." Elvis goes into his room and closes the door. Grace walks into her room, closing the door gently behind her. She walks to the door that connects the rooms and considers knocking. All she wants in this world is to crawl in bed with Elvis, but she doesn't trust herself anymore. Now that he's healthy, she would kiss him, and probably more. Her mind flashes back to Halloween and the things she thought about as she touched herself.

She wants him. There's no denying it.

******

Elvis stands on his side of the door connecting their rooms and considers knocking. He laid in bed for an hour just thinking about Grace and missing her in his arms. He's not sure he'll be able to sleep without her.

But he knows she's right. If anyone found out they were together and then the book came out, the press would never leave her alone. And maybe there was some truth to what the Colonel said. If they got together, what would the book say about it? He shakes his head trying to get the whole thing out of his mind.

At the end of it, all that remains is Grace and how much he wishes he could knock on her door.

******

Grace's heart is in her throat as she and Elvis stand on the front porch of her mom's house.

"It'll be okay. Whatever happens is fine." She turns to him.

"You say that, but you don't know my sister." She holds her hand up and knocks carefully. Her mom throws the door open.

"Maryann, Grace is here! And she brought company!" Grace leans in and hugs her mom, whispering in her ear.

"He knows you knew he was coming."

"Okay, sweetie, I just wasn't sure how far we were taking this pretending." Her mom holds her hand out to Elvis.

"I'm Ruth. What's your name?" Elvis looks at Grace and stifles a laugh. He takes her hand and kisses it.

"I'm Elvis. Nice to meet you ma'am." His southern accent is stronger than normal and Grace looks at him funny. He shrugs as they walk into the modest living area. The kids are running around playing some kind of cops and robbers game. When Wendy sees Elvis she runs to him and wraps him in a hug.

"Hi Daddy!" Ruth looks at Grace with her eyebrows raised.

"It's not... she just..."

"My daughter, Lisa Marie, said she could borrow me when she needed a daddy and she's called me that ever since. It's fine." Elvis gives Grace a reassuring look and she takes a deep breath.

Seemingly satisfied with that story, Ruth walks back to the kitchen to grab Maryann, whose husband is sitting on the couch watching football. She drags Maryann out to the living room.

"Hi Elvis. It's nice to meet you. I'm Maryann, Grace's prettier sister. I'd shake your hand, but I'm covered in flour. These are my kids Bobby, Chris, and Susanna." She gestures to the kids as they run around her. "That's my husband Ben." He waves without taking his eyes off the TV. Elvis smiles genially.

"It's nice to meet you all. Grace didn't tell me she had a prettier sister." He winks and Grace rolls her eyes.

"Can we borrow Grace in the kitchen?"

"Of course." He makes his way to the couch and sits down to watch football. He asks Ben how long they've been playing and they dive into a conversation about how Detroit just doesn't have it this year. Grace is surprised at how well he's blending in, but she knows she shouldn't be. She follows Maryann into the kitchen.

"Okay, he's way more attractive in person."

"Maryann, really?"

"I'm sorry! It's true! I never believed it but.." she wiggles her eyebrows. Then she leans in so their mom won't hear her. "If you're not sleeping with him, you should be."

"I heard that." Ruth turns back to her girls. "Now, we have a lot of food to cook and not much time. Let's stop ogling Grace's date and get back to work."

"He's not... okay fine." The three women go to work making dinner.

******

As they sit down at the dining room table, Elvis pulls Grace's chair out for her to sit in. He sees Ruth and Maryann both soften and makes a note that he's on the right track. He wants nothing more than to make a good impression on her family. He's not exactly sure why, but he cares deeply about gaining their approval as a man and not a famous person.

Ruth sits at the head of the table and blesses the food before they begin to eat. He's seriously impressed by the quality of the food.

"Ruth, these mashed potatoes are great!"

"I actually made them." Grace says quietly. Ruth laughs.

"I'm so glad you like them! Grace isn't exactly known for her cooking. It's just another reason she's been single for so long." Elvis's eyes widen.

"Mom!"

"Well, I'm sorry, Grace, but surely he knows you haven't exactly made dating a priority." Grace puts her fork down and covers her face with her hands. He watches the impact that her mother's words have on her and gently puts his hand on her leg under the table. Just when he thinks Ruth is finished, she keeps going.

"She's always been very pretty and very smart, she's just never been good with men. Wendy's father-"

"-Mom that's enough." Maryann tries to interrupt her, but she doubles down.

"Wendy's father wasn't the best. And since then she's been too focused on herself to worry much about it. She's not really family-oriented."

"She's been focused on Wendy." He says it without really thinking. "And she's been building a career so she could take care of Wendy. I would say that's pretty damn family-oriented." The room is silent. Ben gives Elvis a look of approval and Maryann looks like she could cry. Ruth sits there with her mouth partially open. Elvis turns to Grace nervously, thinking he's pushed this too far. Instead, she grabs him and kisses his cheek and whispers in his ear.

"Thank you." He smiles at her and gives her a small nod.

"Elvis, how are you liking Vegas?" Ben jumps in to start the conversation again, but Maryann kicks him under the table. He looks at her. "What?"

"It's fine, Maryann." He smiles. "I like it just fine. I'd like to do something more, maybe a show in London or Japan, but Vegas is not a bad place to play."

"A show in Japan would be groovy." Everyone goes back to eating and the conversation continues. Ruth is quiet, for the most part. At least, she doesn't go after Grace anymore.

As everyone finishes eating and Maryann and Grace fetch the pies, the kids go back to playing. The youngest boy, Bobby, comes out with a model train and starts playing in the living room. He hollers to Ruth.

"Nana, come play with me!"

"Oh, buddy, not today." She looks at Elvis nervously. Bobby's little voice breaks out into song.

"This the train the Frankfort special!" He looks at her expectantly, waiting for her to do the next part of the lyrics. As everyone sits awkwardly, Elvis stands up.

"Ain't this outfit something special?" His smooth baritone fills the room as he sits down on the floor with Bobby.

"You sound just like Tulsa!" Bobby looks at him incredulously.

"What if I told you I am Tulsa?" Bobby laughs.

"Nooo Tulsa is young!" Elvis laughs his contagious big-joy laugh and everyone at the table laughs with him.

Wendy rounds the corner.

"Is Daddy singing?! Watch this." She looks at him and sings. "Caught in a trap!" He laughs again and everyone erupts in more laughter. Grace jumps in this time, walking to Elvis and sitting next to him on the floor.

"I can't walk out!" He looks her in the eye and puts his hand under her chin gently.

"Because I love you too much, baby."

Ruth and Maryann make eye contact as Elvis and Grace continue the song.

******

After dinner, the women go into the kitchen to clean the dishes while the men settle on the couch to watch the kids and discuss football again.

"Elvis is nice." Ruth starts the conversation.

"He is." Grace looks out the window over the sink dreamily.

"He sure is in love with you." Maryann says tentatively, pulling Grace out of her dream state.

"No. He's not... we're just friends."

"Okay, sure. You're wrong. But okay."

"Maryann..."

"I wish Ben still looked at me like that." Grace stops her before she can say anything else.

"We can't be." This time Ruth chimes in.

"Why not?"

"Because we have to finish this book and... he's Elvis Presley, mom! I can't be another woman in love with Elvis Presley."

"Well, it looks to me like you are. Difference is he's in love with you, too." Just then, Elvis pokes his head into the kitchen.

"Do y'all need any help? I know how to wash dishes. I wasn't always... me..." Ruth and Maryann look at Grace and then at each other again. Ruth speaks up first.

"Oh, no, honey, but thank you. You're sweet to offer. You just go relax on the couch. We'll take care of Grace." He blushes a little at the suggestion that he only came in to check on Grace, even though it's true. He nods and goes back to the living room. This time it's Maryann who speaks first.

"He's got it bad for you, sis." Grace throws the dish towel at her and rolls her eyes, secretly hoping that her mom and sister are right.

******

Towards the end of the evening, Elvis notices Grace escape to the porch. When he follows her out there, he finds her on the porch swing with a cigarette in her hand. He pulls his cigarillo out of his pocket.

"Can I join you?"

"Oh, of course." She scoots over a little on the swing and he sits down next to her.

"I like your family." She laughs.

"Really?"

"Yes. They're very normal. I miss that."

"You know, I forget you weren't always... this." She gestures to him.

"I actually was normal for more years than I've been this." He laughs. He leans back against the seat and puts his arm on the swing behind her. When she leans back against him, his heart skips a beat.

"Are you about ready to get out of here?" She asks quietly.

"Whenever you are, honey." He checks his watch. Almost 8:30pm. A little early to go to bed, but he figures he can find something to entertain himself back at the hotel if she's ready to leave.

They sit for another ten minutes before she stands up. He stands up with her and puts out his cigarillo.

"Yeah, let's say goodnight to Wendy and then head out." She opens the door and they go inside.

******

Back in the car, Grace slides over to Elvis on the front seat and leans her head on his shoulder again.

"Thank you for being so great today."

"Of course, honey. It was important to you; I could tell."

They pull into the parking lot of the hotel and walk up to their rooms. Outside the door, she stops and looks up at him, thinking of what her mom and sister had said. Does he love her?

"Thank you for defending me... against my mom."

"Oh. I didn't like the way she was talking to you. I hope I didn't go too far."

"No, it was perfect. No one has ever stood up for me like that. I really appreciated it."

"Well I'm glad-" she cuts him off by pressing her lips against his, throwing her arms around his neck. She pulls back quickly.

"Oh God, I'm sorry-"

"Don't be." He puts his arms around her waist and pulls her into a deep and passionate kiss. Her stomach pulls tight and she feels like her heart is about to leap out of her chest. They stay locked like this for a while, tongues moving in tandem as the passion between them builds. He turns and presses her up against the hotel room door, rolling his hips into hers. She whimpers when she feels him against her. Somehow, he pulls back from her, breathing heavily.

"Is this what you want?"

"Yes." He kisses her again. But this time she pulls back. "But we shouldn't. We can't."

"Grace, please." She kisses him again, but pulls away.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." She turns to face the door and puts the key in the lock. He stands behind her, still pressed against her with his face in her hair. She slips into the room away from him. Before she closes it, she kisses him one last time, just a quick peck on the lips.

"I'm sorry." Then she closes the door.

******

He hits the door frame with his right hand and then backs away, moving to the door of his room. Once inside, he walks to the door between their rooms. He wants to knock so badly, but she said no. He's trying so hard to respect what she says. But he knows she wants it too and that's what is killing him. He has one hand on either side of the door frame, trying to talk himself out of knocking when the door opens. Grace is standing there with her shirt half unbuttoned and her shoes off.

"Fuck it."

She whispers and they finally come together with the full force of their feelings for each other. His lips crash into hers, his hands moving up to her breasts and down to her ass, pulling her hips into his. She jumps and he catches her with her legs around his waist, and he carries her to the bed in his room, never moving his mouth from hers. Both of their hearts are racing as he lays her on the bed, kissing down her neck to the middle of her chest while she moans desperately. He rips her shirt open the rest of the way, buttons flying across the room. He continues kissing down her stomach, leaving a trail of burning kisses from her neck to the top of her pants. She sits up onto her knees with him on his knees in front of her and pulls her shirt off, frantically unbuttoning his shirt as well, pushing it off his shoulders. He pulls her body in to his pressing their heated skin together. His hands fumble with the clasp of her bra, but he eventually gets it off, freeing her breasts to press against him as well. He moves his mouth back down her chest to her nipple, licking over it and moving across to the other, pulling it gently into his mouth. She leans down and kisses his forehead while he works. He lays her back down and unbuttons her pants, sliding them down her legs and dropping them on the floor. He kisses her right ankle and then moves back up to her dripping core, leaving soft kisses along her leg as he goes. He presses his lips to the inside of her other thigh and she moans and arches her back. Finally, he hooks his finger in the part of her panties that's in between her legs and pulls, dragging them down her thighs and off.

He stands up for a second and looks at her laying there completely naked. No amount of fantasizing could have prepared him for the beauty of her body there waiting for him. She looks like poetry and he wants to press his lips to every inch of her skin. He's never been this attracted to anyone in his life. It almost hurts how much he needs to touch her, to feel her body on his. He wants to give her the most unimaginable pleasure, so he pulls her hips to the side of the bed and gets on his knees between her legs. Leaning forward, he presses his lips to her pussy, letting his tongue explore her slit.

"Oh, fuck, Elvis." Hearing his name come out of her mouth like this just makes him want to give her even more, so he moves his tongue up to her clit, licking over and around it as he feels it harden in his mouth. He slides first one finger and then two into her, moaning when he feels how tight she is. She whimpers and arches her back at the sensation of his mouth on her, feeling the deep coil of her orgasm tighten between her legs. He continues pressing his fingers in and out rhythmically as his tongue works her clit, licking firmly and sucking it gently. He flattens his tongue against her and moves his head back and forth. She cries out as he tightens his tongue again and drags it over her clit, pushing her over the edge into the driving waves of her orgasm. She half-screams as the pleasure slams into her, radiating through her like heat that gathers in her fingertips, races back to her core, and spills out of her into his mouth and hand. He laps at her as she comes, soaking up every bit of her desire. She runs her fingers through his hair and pushes him back off of her.

"Come up here." She says, chest heaving. On his way up, he goes to wipe his face with his hand, but she doesn't seem to care, instead grabbing him and pulling him into a passionate kiss. Her hands go immediately to his pants and she unbuttons them, freeing his aching cock and pushing them down and off of him. She pushes him onto his back and slinks down his body, kissing and nipping him as she goes.

"Mmm." She whimpers as she holds his cock in her hand, finally appreciating the size and shape of it. She rolls his foreskin back and licks a circle around the sensitive head.

"Fuck, yes, baby." He says through gritted teeth as she pulls him into her mouth fully. She opens her throat and moves back and forth slightly to get his full length into her, pressing her nose into the soft patch of hair at the base of him. When she pulls back and bounces her mouth on him, pumping him with her hand, he cries out her name and runs his fingers into her hair. His hips buck up into her and she lets him thrust into her mouth for a while, massaging his balls with her hand.

"If you don't stop, 'm gonna come, baby." She pulls off and laughs.

"I'm not finished with you yet." He smiles and pulls her up to lay next to him. He rolls over on top of her and lines his cock up with her entrance.

"This is what you want?"

"Elvis, I want you more than anything." He presses his lips to hers and thrusts his hips forward, filling her entirely in one move. She throws her head back and moans loudly.

"Oh, God." He starts pumping in and out of her rhythmically. She's so tight and wet and the feeling of her around him exceeds everything he imagined. But something about this is different than any sex he's ever had. He looks into her brown eyes as he fucks her and all he wants is to stay connected to her like this forever. She wraps her arms and legs around him and pulls him in close to her, kissing his neck and shoulder.

Then, she pushes him off and rolls him onto his back. She puts one knee on either side of him and lowers herself onto his cock slowly, reveling in every inch of him. She's been with men before, but something about this is different. No amount of him could ever be enough. He puts his hands on her hips as she grinds him deeper and deeper inside of her, looking into his blue eyes as she does.

"Where should I?"

"Inside. Please." He nods. The last thing he wants is to disconnect from her at the most vital moment. As he gets closer and closer, she leans over onto his chest. He wraps his arms around her and thrusts from underneath.

"Oh, fuck, don't stop." She pleads and he does exactly as she asks. Finally, they both rush over the edge of ecstasy together. She presses her lips to his again as he shudders and pulses, filling her with his release as she feels herself throb around him. They stay connected this way for several minutes before she kisses his cheek and relaxes on his shoulder, with his arms still wrapped around her.

She sits up and he runs his hands in her hair, pushing it back behind her ears.

"I love you, Grace." She opens her mouth to protest, but he stops her.

"I've loved you for months. You know I'm telling you the truth. I'm in love with you."

Her eyes get wet and soft.

"I'm in love with you too." He holds his hand up to her cheek and catches the tear that falls with his thumb.

"I don't care about anything else, honey, I just want you. From now on. Just you and me. And Wendy and Lisa. I want our family." She nods her head as the tears continue to fall. He pulls her to him and kisses the tears on her cheeks. In between each kiss, he whispers.

"I love you."

******

Until Chapter 8...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @ashtag6887 @aliypop @your-nanas-house @dkayfixates @everythingelvispresley @xanatenshi @returntopresley @p0lksaladannie @deniseinmn @jaqueline19997 @that-hotdog @mykievolturi @18lkpeters @joshuntildawn13 @rjmartin11 @littlehoneyposts

[prompts-from-the-golden-wolf]

Prompts for the year 2025

All rules / guidelines are in the pinned post. This only has the prompts so I can link to it in the pinned post. =)

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Prompt # 1: “Make a wish for it will be your last words.”

Prompt # 2: “You call that a strike? Ha! Didn’t even feel it! How about you try again and this time you hit like you mean it.”

Prompt # 3: “I have no idea what you’re meaning but if that’s what you believe in then I doubt I have a way to change your mind.”

Prompt # 4: “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to jump down from here!”

Prompt # 5: “Live or die. Doesn’t make a difference. You’re still doomed.”

Prompt # 6:  “Hear me out before you shoot this idea down.”

Prompt # 7: ”I love you so much that it hurts but you deserve so much better than me.” (VALENTINE’S DAY!)

Prompt # 8: “I know I’m asking a lot but can you just hold me for a moment. Please?”

Prompt # 9: “By the time I’m done with you there will be nothing worth saving anymore.”

Prompt # 10: “Shoot that arrow straight and true if you wish to continue.”

Prompt # 11: “Anyone knowing where we are?”

Prompt # 12: “If you think that’s the right melody then you don’t know a thing about music.”

Prompt # 13: “Hero, huh? Not so grand now, are you.”

Prompt # 14: “No. No. No. Not that one either. No. Where is it? No. AAARGH! WHO THE HELL STOLE M—! Oh, there it is.”

Prompt # 15: “What can you create out of one third of red potion, too short rope to be much of use and one arrow but having no bow?” – “A way out of here.”

Prompt # 16: “W-when did you do this?! This gotta have taken insane amount of time!”

Prompt # 17: “Take my hand and close your eyes. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Prompt # 18: “NO! (insert a name)! LEAVE (insert pronounce) ALONE!”

Prompt # 19: “Day of celebration and I’m alone at home. I hope my family’s safe out there somewhere.” (MOTHER’S DAY!)

Prompt # 20: “Are we going in circles or is this some kind of loop thing?”

Prompt # 21: “Anyone having Ice or Water magic?”

Prompt # 22: “…Is there something you don’t have along or can you bring out absolutely anything imaginable?

Prompt # 23: “Test of strength, huh? With or without special things?”

Prompt # 24: “Please no! I can’t swim!”

Prompt # 25: “This heat is killing me!” (MIDSUMMER / SUMMER SOLSTICE!)

Prompt # 26: “Stop whimpering! That sound is so annoying!”

Prompt # 27: “ATTACK!”

Prompt # 28: “I’m going to enjoy listening you scream.”

Prompt # 29: “You’re going to look ridiculous wearing that.”

Prompt # 30: “The reason I love cursed items is the fact that you never know how your target will react to them.”

Prompt # 31: “Map or no map. Doesn’t matter. We’ll get out of here. I promise.”

Prompt # 32: “Swimming? After that incident? Not a chance!”

Prompt # 33: “Did you really think you could’ve gotten away from me?”

Prompt # 34:  “Slow down. I can’t keep up to your pace.”

Prompt # 35: “Do you believe in miracles? Because, to me, you are such.”

Prompt # 36: “I’m not worth it.”

Prompt # 37: “What the hell happened to leave you looking that awful?”

Prompt # 38: “What was that?”

Prompt # 39: “I hate this weather!”

Prompt # 40: “The time of monsters is here! Rejoice!”

Prompt # 41: “Where the hell is the backup when you desperately need it?!”

Prompt # 42: “No fairy is going to revive you while my curse flows in your veins.”

Prompt # 43: “You think you can see through the lies but you’re as blind as a bat.”

Prompt # 44: “If you think you’ll see the next sunrise then you’re sourly mistaken.” (HALLOWEEN!)

Prompt # 45: “Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop it! That hurts! Ow! Seriously! Knock it off!”

Prompt # 46: “Those traitorous bastards! I’m going to kill them all!”

Prompt # 47: “When you grow up… What do you wish to be?”

Prompt # 48: “Making decorations, huh? That’s so sweet.”

Prompt # 49: “Please don’t break. Please don’t break….. Crap!”

Prompt # 50: “And here I thought you were unbreakable. Wasn’t aware you’re capable of crying.”

Prompt # 51: “The darkness will not win.” (WINTER SOLSTICE!)

Prompt # 52: “Are you happy now?”

Prompt # 53 (1): “Even if the world comes to an end today I’m happy I had this life with you.”

Few extra lines which are more specific than the main prompts:

Extra 1: Time, LU: “No wonder you understood me so swiftly. This book’s in my Hylian.”

Extra 2: Bad guy to Legend, LU: “Legend, huh? How are you alive when legends are old stories rotting in ancient bookshelves?”

Extra 3: Time, LU: “Stay in defense! Don’t let them through! We’ll survive this as long as we do things wisely!”

Extra 4: Time, LU: “Harm them and you will find out the hard way why they call me Protective Alpha Wolf.”

Extra 5: Time, LU: “Why am I wasting my breath on this? None of you is listening to a word I’m saying.”

Extra 6: The Yiga, LU / BotW: “Care to buy some Mighty Bananas? They’re deadly good.” -> Don’t know if the Yiga’s still obsessed with the Mighty Bananas in TotK since haven’t yet played far. ^^;;

[himbopunk]

7, 12, and 17 for the Rook + partner asks please!! (Dissonant verses here hi!)

(link to the ask game list!)

hi i'm only 10 million yrs late. gonna try to be less longwinded than usual cuz i wanna do stuff for iktom And hakim a bit

7. Are they a physically affectionate couple? Are they fine displaying those affections in public or do they prefer to be in private? If they're not, how do they prefer to show their love instead? What does their ideal date look like? Do they go on much?

for hakim: in private yes very much hakim has to be pried off lucanis and neve with a crowbar. but in public? i think he teases pda sometimes but he doesn't actually do it that much. like he can be generally physically affectionate in the like. kinda way that you might think is pda before you see he's also like that with harding, taash, davrin, etc. that's just how he is with ppl he cares about. but in terms of like romantic pda i think most people would be surprised to find out that neve and lucanis prolly show more pda with each other than either do with rook unless theyre specifically messing w each other (neve and hakim are the worst offenders of this, esp in the endgame where their pastime is butting in on talon business to bother lucanis)

i think hakim likes dates that get Away from everything. rooftop dinners and people watching in treviso or dock town, maybe a walk or hike in rivain. its like, low pressure and not super social like a fancy date would be, and also very intimate in its own way. just him and them and the world for a bit.

for iktom: i think he's pretty average on the physical affection spectrum, but he seems like very much an acts of service focused kinda guy. or like. just being present With his partners ig. hes not shy about pda when hes feeling it, like picking up and kissing emmrich or davrin after an exciting/scary fight or something (cue get a room noises from taash lol). he's kind of just the kinda guy to get swept up in the moment but he's not crazy touchy feely on his own outside of that.

and with the date thing oh my god iktom is such a 'i wanna show you a place' guy. he will make you hike 4 hours and itll be worth it because you Will see the most amazing natural wonders in the corners of places you thought could only hold agony. granted he hiked around the anderfels professionally since he was like 15 so it makes sense he would be like this but like. yeah. there is often also an activity involved. like sledding or stargazing or some kind of game or something. he will see something beautiful or fun and instantly catalogue it in his brain to share with his loves later.

12. Any inside jokes?

hakim neve and lucanis have to have SO many. hakim and neve especially. unfortunately i am not very good at coming up with inside joke situations for characters on the fly but i know theres been many times where hakim just says A Phrase out of context to try to get one of them to crack up in a situation where it super isn't appropriate (that being said hakim is peak class clown he has inside jokes with everyone sdfghggf)

i think iktom and emmrich keep having this thing where they think they have an inside joke but the other didnt realize this was a thing they were gonna bring up around other people and they get kinda flustered. davrin and iktom definitely have more especially both being wardens i feel like you get a ton from that alone. all the weisshaupt training stories...

17. What is your Rook's favorite thing about their partner? What is the partner's favorite thing about Rook?

(me being like im not gonna be longwinded but then i polyship everyone so i doom myself w questions like these LMAO)

hakim: i think though lucanis does see himself as having been caged or molded towards something his whole life outside of his control (and he Is), i think hakim like. admires his ability to stay kind and such despite this. in that way he's always choosing to be the person he is and that's worth something. idk if that makes sense. but lucanis' thoughtfulness was the first thing that struck out to him.. i guess this is kind of true of neve as well. esp considering neve is hardened in his game its like...despite the hardboiled detective protector of it all, she never stops caring. she has a lot of conviction idk. which is part of why they butt heads sometimes but its good that she keeps him in check. they all keep each other balanced idk. theres a lot of more surface level attraction stuff he has with both sure but hes had that with dozens of people. its that stuff that endears them to him initially beyond the attraction and he holds onto that. says some corny shit like even if we weren't together thats something about you that will always be worth loving

them with hakim though....hm. hakim has this like. infectious like. positivity isnt exactly it but kind of? he's not wholly optimistic but he's always gonna look forward. always gonna find moments of joy or humor or something that can make the tension and fear kind of melt away. idk. thinking about lucanis's 'break apart my perfectly gathered clouds of doom' line w that especially. i think neve also likes this about him but the angles a bit different (and where lucanis is almost like dumbstruck by how much this mf brightens his day neve is almost like frustrated by it cuz like! hes distracting! but like its what she needs a lot of the time + she knows it. idk.)

iktom: i think theres a certain attraction iktom has towards someone who is ultra-competent in their field for one. which i think makes sense for both monster hunter davrin and fade expert emmrich (and also why he was having a constant bi panic with the group overall LMAO) but hm. i do know he loves to listen to them yap so maybe that Is part of it cuz he wants to do what he can to care about what they care about bc they care about them so deeply ykno? with emmrich its all tied up in his compassion. hes such a romantic but not in the literal romance sense like in the way he talks about things. it brightens something in iktoms soul. and davrin has Such conviction to make something of himself and do right by the responsibilities hes been handed and it makes iktom want to do the same. theyre both such fundamentally good people to him in ways that both make them good at what they do and make iktom wanna be better

their favorite thing about iktom though? hmmmm his chest i mean. idk i think davrin admires his strength like sure in a literal way but also in a mental/spiritual way. he's a bit of an anchor for him i think.... like. idk i think about davrins dialogues about being able to change your future and stuff and how he'd see iktom as having done that more than once and they both have this like. strength is shown in protection as much as might kind of thing + thats definitely like. part of it. (also i think in some way they're both each other's examples of why it is their place as wardens is so important/meaningful idk. i love a warden power couple.) for emmrich i think like. iktom has a thoughtfulness and cleverness to him that goes a bit under the radar esp considering hes this huge tank of a guy but emmrich Does catch it and always tries to encourage him to engage/acknowledge it cuz its this wonderful spark that doesnt get enough attention! its the why everyone keeps getting taken by surprise with him, himself included! (iktom is a tanky ass warrior but hes very kinda ranger-y in some ways hes very good in nature esp in the anderfels and is consistently surprising emmrich by just how much he can teach him)

[crazykuroneko]

IWTV Fanfiction Recommendations 🫶

I think I have read enough IWTV fics now, so I will list the ones I've bookmarked. All Loustat unless stated otherwise. And since I limit the number of on-going fics I read, you will find mostly completed, one shots, or serialized one-shot fics here. ❤️ means personal favorite. (Also, I don't always remember the author's Tumblr username, so if you know the ones I didn't link, please tell me)

AMC IWTV-verse fics

on brûlera toutes les deux en enfer, mon ange by Tash_ka ❤️

An Episode 5 divergent AU where Lestat's protective side kicked in when he looked at Claudia when she came back. Perfect serotonin and great resolution. Read the sequel as well

outcast of all this night by @puentera

Armand/Daniel, after Daniel came home from Dubai. A must read for Devil's Minion enthusiasts imo. Love the travelling and Daniel's daughters. Check other titles under the series as well.

fear death by water (what the thunder said) by @lgbtiwtv

In which Louis decided not to go with Claudia after Ep 7 and tended to Lestat instead. Or "Louis Phantom Thread-ing Lestat" as I affectionately call it. Love the language and Louis' internal conflict.

The Unreleased Interviews of Louis de Pointe du Lac by @fablesdelightme

Aka "extra" interviews Louis did to accompany his interview in the show. Personally, it's hard for me to read first person POV, but author captures Louis' voice well. Nice to challenge your interpretation of the show. My personal favorite of the series is Light of My Life, or The Lullaby ❤️. I love the romanticism in the words. But overall, a very beautiful series. Not all is Loustat, so mind the tags.

Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same (modern loustat series) by @thefairylights ❤️

The modern rock star!Lestat AU we all need where Loustat (finally) see a therapist! A mix between show and book-verse' canon. A fun light read with the perfect amount of fluff and angst. My personal favorites from the series are There is an indentation in the shape of you, made your mark on me, a golden tattoo and Here lies a heart that feels touched by fire, howling at the moon for you.

The Right Regrets by @dreamofme9 ❤️

You want to cry while reading the longest most romantic sex scene ever? This is it. I mean, fr the internal conflict Louis is having and all the love he feels for both Lestat and Claudia is 🤌

Basically, all fics written by @amc-iwtv

She has my favorite "voice" for both Louis and Lestat it's insane. My favorites are Valentine Medley ❤️, Bed Death (Loumand, with Loustat in the shadow), Familiar Taste of Poison (this fic is basically half canon for me idc), Written In The Stars Above (a very hot '80s rock star Lestat AU) ❤️, God Complex (Crazy In Love) (that Ep 6 scene from Lestat's POV).

Is It Too Much? by @thatgothicgay ❤️

aka what if Louis didn't say yes at the church and Loustat somehow found a way to communicate better. Love how the series handle the show's conflicts. Has a lot of de Pointe du Lacs feels. The sequel is on-going and worth the wait.

My Companion Heart by @mythicaltzu ❤️

Vampiric modern AU with satisfying murder mystery. Love the ending and Louis' characterization here.

Let the Tale Seduce You by (again) @mythicaltzu

Very different and intriguing take on the "unreliable narrator".

All the Ashes in My Wake by jeremystollemyheart

In the spirit of erasing Talbot from the show 🫡, what if it's Louis who's there with Lestat during the TOTBT suicide attempt? Short, but beautiful

Whispers in my mind by @nalyra-dreaming

It's written for me but idc lol. Beautiful fic of Louis' internal conflict in trying to free himself from Lestat's shadow post-Rue Royale until he realizes everything crumbling down again

These devils of yours, they need love too by (again) @thefairylights

In which Louis finally asked Lestat to kill Antoinette for him when Claudia was still away but somehow found it didn't change anything for him. The angst towards the end 🤌

your mouth and madness by @brightfelon ❤️

A non-vampiric modern AU of four-way Lestat/Louis/Armand/Daniel polycule aka Thee Polycule fic. Idk how to describe it except (insert that Lady Gaga's talented, incredible, amazing etc etc gif here). I think we should pitch this fic to Rolin so he would produce a spin-off series based on this fr. Light read, fun, right amount of angst, yet still tackling the conflicts the characters face in the show

Book-verse fics

Begin Again by @licncourt

My first loustat fic I read. Good for show-audience who haven't read the books but want to know loustat's relationship in the book-verse. Set after QotD (3rd book)

Experimental Methods by @zisurru

Loustat experimenting with Fareed's invention and everything that comes with it 😏

A Collected History of The Vampire Lestat (1968-1978) by @mutantmouse

it's rare for me to read epistolary fic, but I enjoyed this. very unique, and Loustat is all over the place. A glam rock and non-vampiric, but not really human either AU

Questions at Midnight by @sofipitch

A canon compliant AU from Prince Lestat era. I have to admit I like the idea of Rose, and this explores that in relation to Loustat.

L' Interversion by @calipsan

An AU where Louis went to Paris after being turned into vampire by other, found Lestat, and turned him instead. You don't really need to know the book canon for this.

[saucelys]

a masterlist of my gravity falls playlists

because why not :P the links for the playlists are embedded in the titles for those who are interested

FLAT DREAMS

MAKE IT WORTH SOMETHING 🔥 : a playlist based on bill cipher’s POV in the fanfic flat dreams. i have a doc explaining my associations with each song :0 i'm hecka proud of it, so go check it out!

2. BILL! BILL! BILL! : he’s just a little guy and it’s his birthday!! anything that doesn't fit in my other bill playlist goes here

3. liam cipher : this one's a WIP, but i generally tried to capture the feeling of feeling trapped yet hopeful

4. i thought heaven would glow : nora vigenère: flatland’s most spiteful piece of black licorice

CANON GRAVITY FALLS

5. lighthearted gravity falls tunes : exactly what the title says :p gravity falls is a huge comfort show of mine n i wanted to capture those cozy vibes here <3

6. a tale of two fords : fiddauthor angst, lol

7. lemon demon + gravity falls : i have an entire doc explaining my associations between his music and the show :0 HIS MUSIC JUST FITS THE SHOW SO WELL

GRAVITY RISES

8. ❄️ gravity rises : one of my fav gravity falls aus! the fanfic is CRAZY GOOD and i highly recommend givin it a read

9. vibing at gravity rises : lo-fi vibes to fit one of my biggest comfort aus

anyways, if you read this far, take a lil bill

[safeworksrender]

The Tears I Shed for You - A 7 Month-Long Labor of Love

I know I haven't posted any of my recent works on here for a long time, but I think I'm happy with just using this platform as a way to just dump my thoughts.

After 235 renders and ~7 months of chipping away at this thing, I've finally wrapped up work on my digital novel centered around Makoto and Mitsuru's romance path from P3R: "The Tears I Shed for You"

I'm kind of shocked that I was able to get this done without giving up or burning myself out throughout the process, considering that I didn't make a dime out of it. I didn't do this for money, or to get my foot in the door at getting some kind of gig as an artist. More than anything, I just wanted to make something that I could look back on one day and be proud of. And along the way, I was fortunate enough to have a following of people who genuinely enjoyed and looked forward to what I was making.

It's a bit crazy when I look back at how this whole thing came to be, because it initially started as just 3 separate renders (the ones attached to this post) that I had made for fun. But when I looked at them, all I could think about was how I could tie them together and tell some kind of story with it. And so what I ended up coming with was a story that has Mitsuru reminisce on the events of her social link, and how her relationship with Makoto has left an impact on her for the rest of her life.

From start to finish, all I ever wanted this to be was basically a love letter to Persona 3 and what I took away from the game. The most beautiful thing about art, or entertainment as a whole, is that everyone is going to perceive things differently - take something different out of it. And for me, what I took away from this game is reflected throughout the narrative I was trying to tell with these renders that I made. I historically never cared for romance angles in games, but this one with Makoto and Mitsuru really touched me for reasons I had such a hard time putting into words for a while. It wasn't just because "they are cute together", or because of the Romeo/Juliet-style of vibe they exude. It was because of how well Mitsuru's social link and her dynamic with Makoto encapsulates what P3 is all about for me, which are the little moments and things that are worth cherishing in life. It's very ironic in some ways that P3 is the only Atlus game (or video game in general) with romance paths that had this kind of impact on me, considering it has an incredibly low amount of romance events compared to other entries. It goes to show more than anything that romance angles can still work incredibly well if they actually complement the overarching narrative and themes of a game/movie/book.

I'll have a post sometime next week with a link to the PDF for the digital novel/comic, along with links to some HQ renders and other things that people may enjoy. After that though, I'm not sure what I'll be working on. I definitely won't be working on something of this scale again, but I may have some one-off stuff that I'll post whenever I feel inclined to do so. Besides, I still have a handful of cut renders and finished renders that I never ended up posting.

Anyways I'm not sure how I want to end what ended up being a pretty long ramble, but I'll be back on here next week to share the links for "The Tears I Shed for You". Cheers!