#this line was my fucking blog title back when I was 14

[1960z]

I need you to understand that the line “what’s crack-a-lackin’, homie?” has not left my mind in the 8 years since I first played this

[roseykat]

KINKTOBER DAY 14

TITLE: Some things are better left unknown

PAIRINGS: Bang Chan x Felix x reader

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won't be able to regulate every single interaction with those posts so please do not engage with my work or page whatsoever.

SUMMARY: a threesome with Chanlix where you’re yet to discover a very sobering truth about the pair of them.

TAGS: explicit language, threesome, oral sex (f!reader receiving), porn with plot, use of the name 'baby girl' and 'angel', swearing, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex but protected anal sex, double penetration, big dick!Chan agenda, praise, slight body worship if you squint, kissing/making out.

A/N: Aussie line fucks hard, bye. (If there are mistakes, I will fix them. Currently running on v low sleep)

KINKTOBER23 - MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @mal-lunar-28 @luneskies @queenmea604 @kibs-and-bits @kbitties @aaasia111 @fairy-lixie @dreamingaboutjisung

-

Milk, nori, rice, raw tuna, coffee, yoghurt, bread, and eggs. 

This was all Chan sent you to the supermarket for. All of which could have been easily picked up from the convenience store down the road. Maybe minus the raw tuna which has to be high grade since Chan wanted to make an attempt at onigiri for the first time. However, you would’ve saved an entire trip to the busy supermarket.

Not to mention, grocery shopping sucks in general. At least that is when you’re on your own. In your apartment that you share with your good friends Chan and Felix, two people are responsible for the shopping per week which rotates each time. 

If you’re with Felix, sometimes you both tend to muck around. Not to mention forgetting almost a quarter of things on the shopping list which ends in a stern lecture from Chan. On that matter, if you’re with Chan, it’s an in-and-out task at the store in less than ten minutes. 

Efficient and practically timeless.

Even though it’s no trivial matter, you manage to get through the pointless shopping before heading home to the apartment. These could’ve been picked up at the convenience store, you think to yourself again. A sigh leaves your lips as you unlock the door, bumping it open further with your hip as you slide your shoes off. 

“I’m back. Remind me to buy an umbrella next time-”

Your body freezes on the spot. The bag of items falls from your possession, collapsing onto the floor. Something inside it broke but it’s nowhere near enough a distraction for what is in front of your eyes. 

Maybe you need your vision checked because if your eyes weren’t deceiving you, then you wouldn’t have just seen Chan and a topless Felix who are both making out. The two of them sat on the edge of the bed, still lip-locked until they caught onto your presence.  

For the few seconds you stood there, rooted to the ground, felt the absolute longest.

Neither of them was as internally panicked as you when they noticed you standing there. Nor did they have hundreds of questions zapping around their brains in the span of a few seconds. It was like your entire vocabulary had turned to dust and were blown away because there were no words to describe what the hell was happening. 

Maybe it was a dream. 

“T-That was quick,” Chan stammers with an awkward chuckle, breaking away from Felix, almost pretending like nothing just happened. 

Felix looked like a complete mess. Dark brown hair mangled - clearly from Chan either running his fingers through it or tugging it - the air gets stuck in your throat with those two theories in mind, painting very interesting visuals and an odd sensation in your stomach. 

Chan looked equally dishevelled. There’s a dark red splotch peeking above his collarbone that you had no trouble guessing how it got there. On top of that, his pants were already half undone, and his lips were bitten red and wet, and they both looked so…so…

“What…the fuck…” you manage to speak once your mind has cleared the only one per cent of its capacity to grasp the circumstances.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Felix quickly says as he stands up from Chan’s lap and walks over to you.

It was useless for him to try to take advantage of your shell-shocked state because once your surprise had completely thawed out, your words started coming back to you. 

“Oh my god, what am I even doing?” You ask, clamping your hands over your eyes, ready to head right back out of the apartment. “I’m heading out.”

“Wait!” Chan calls out, arm outstretched towards your direction. “You don’t…you don’t have to go. If you want, you can maybe join us. If…if you like.”

Join them? Blindsided by those words, there was no trouble for the difficulty you had in trying to figure out if you heard right or just imagined what Chan said. Why would he ask you that question? But more importantly, why were they hooking up in the first place? It was evident that there had been something going on between Felix and Chan - unless this was just a new one-time thing. 

However, even if it wasn’t, you had been left out of the secret. Nonetheless, you quickly came to your senses. Whether they hook up or not is none of your business. 

“J-Join you?” You stammer. 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Chan emphasises. “It’d be rude to not let you in on the fun.” 

You definitely weren’t hearing things, and this wasn’t a dream. 

At first, you can’t understand why you’re even considering their request, but there is one piece of information that sprung to mind and that’s your sex life. It hasn’t been entirely sex-filled as you’d like it to be, not to mention your slight lack of experience with threesomes wasn’t vast - but it also wasn’t limited either, especially after that encounter you once had with two of their friends Changbin and Hyunjin on a separate occasion. Although, they didn’t need to know that at all. 

That being said, this takes the cake. You can’t even comprehend what Chan or Felix are like in bed but, the opportunity seemed too ridiculously hot to pass up. 

“You...you want me to-“

“Like Channie said, if you want,” Lix assures you, interrupting your babbling. 

You aren’t somewhat surprised that Felix would ever want a threesome. He’s had sexual partners here and there in the past, multiple ones at a time. However, Chan never struck you as the type to have sex with more than one person. Even after a year of living with him and getting to know him, he’s still pretty private and exclusive. 

With the matter at hand and the more you think about the prospect in front of you, you aren’t opposed to the idea. So with your brain taking full control of your body, you hesitantly step over the discarded groceries lying on the ground. This is happening. Felix picks up on the right cue and extends his hand out to you as you take it gently. 

He guides you over to the edge of the bed where Chan is still sitting, but as you’re led over, he rises to his feet. There were a few seconds where you’re a little bit bewildered by what’s going on, but when you look into Chan’s dark eyes and as he takes your free hand, you become more centred.

Before you know it, he leans down to kiss you and kisses you good. You’ve never felt anything like it and as Felix releases your hand and sneaks behind your body, your mind starts turning into jelly. He gently swipes your hair to the other side of your shoulder while his other hand freely roams around your waist, underneath your shirt to feel the heat of your skin. His mouth places chaste kisses from your shoulder up to your neck. 

It feels so heavenly to be sandwiched between them; Felix kissing, biting softly over your skin while Chan continues to explore your mouth. It was impossible to think that just a few minutes ago, you were at the grocery store and now a complete world shift just seems to be occurring within that time frame. 

Chan breaks away from you for a second, kissing you tenderly one last time before sitting back down on the bed and moving up to the headboard. God this is really happening. You’re too deep in it now to not follow him like a lost, yet obedient puppy. You can see that he’s hard and want to touch him so badly but-

“Sit between me and face towards Felix,” he instructs before you can even reach for him. 

Your cheeks burn. While you have no idea what’s entirely in store, your body is getting excited and very obviously, so is Felix. He crawls over to you once you’re snug in between Chan’s legs before he tugs your shirt up from the hem and tosses it aside. Then, he finds your lips and kisses you until you have to silently beg and chase him for it.

Squirming in place, you feel hot and subjugated by Chan sitting behind you - snaking and trailing his hands around your now half-bare body, and Felix in front of him, who’s now gone on to give his supposed man some attention too.

He’s up on his knees with his body so close to you that you can feel the heat from him. Chan tilts his head up from resting on your shoulder and lets Felix take what he wants. The slick wet sounds of them both kissing along with the tiny moans you can feel in your ear, makes you shiver all over. You’re only still comprehending this all, that this is still actually happening. 

“So needy,” Chan says as he breaks away from him, inches away from his face when Felix hears and feels you unbuckling his belt. He straightens back up and consumes how flustered you are, observing the way you blink up at him pleadingly, displaying how badly you want it now. 

Felix smirks, gently grabbing your face with one hand and lowering down just enough to kiss you senseless again. But he cannot stray away from his other plans so frees himself from your lips to help slide your pants off down and discards them to the side. 

Immediately, you can see where this is going. 

“Aw, look how bad you want it,” Felix comments, swiping his thumb over the damp spot of your underwear with enough pressure for you to muffle a whine by biting down on your lip. You do want it bad and already seem to be losing a fight to the pleasure Felix is barely giving you. 

“Don’t tease her too much,” Chan cautions. 

Felix doesn’t seem to hear the warning for him as he helps you shimmy your underwear down. From there, Chan takes over. He hooks both of his legs over yours and separates them to not just expose you for Felix but to hold you down for what’s about to unfold. 

Heat accelerates through your cheeks as you feel embarrassed. At this point, your brain hasn’t caught up with the fact that you never show this much skin, let alone any skin in front of either of them. But that was going to be an afterthought for you when Felix distracts your mind by gently prying your legs open from your bent knees.

Pathetic whimpers slip past your lips as Felix lies down on his stomach, his face inches away from your pussy while he pets and glides his two fingers in between your folds. 

Your head shoots back onto Chan’s shoulder, very narrowly missing his face, “f-fuck…oh my god.”

Without warning, you feel the tip of Felix’s tongue lap a few times over your clit. If it weren’t for Chan acting as a human restraint to hold you down, there would’ve been a solid chance of you lurching forward. His arms are still wrapped around your abdomen, preventing you from moving forward so that you can take what Felix is giving you. 

It’s cruel, but Chan thinks it’s necessary for you to feel everything. Which you do when your hands grip each of Chan’s thighs, nearly squashing him backwards between you and the wall. 

“How does it feel?” he asks you. 

“F-Felix, mmm-” you breathe out his name, unable to answer properly and feel some vibrations from Chan’s chest to suggest that he was chuckling. Mainly at the fact that you weren’t able to directly answer his question. 

But it’s not long until the room quickly fills with your whimpers and moans mingled with the beautiful wet sounds as Felix keeps eating out your pussy. Tingly sensations spread like wildfire throughout every cell in your body from his mouth. It’s gradually becoming impracticable to keep up with his tongue. Not that you’ve ever imagined it before, but he does give good oral, good enough to put your breathing pace out of whack when he sucks on your clit. 

He’s not afraid of enjoying himself either. You can hear and feel his moans reverberate throughout your lower half. It even adds to the sensation of bliss that’s forming a knot in the pit of your stomach. So even though you don’t know, this is as good for Felix as it is for you. To him, it’s like going to heaven. 

What you also didn’t seem to know was when Chan unclasped your bra from behind your back and placed it to the side. His hands went from just holding you to now groping and playing with your tits as your body continued to melt into Felix’s mouth. 

“You’re loud aren’t you?” Chan whispers in your ear, rolling both of your nipples in between his thumbs and fingers to make you mewl and squirm. The different methods of pleasure send interesting messages to your brain that only make that crest of ecstasy build higher. 

You can only mewl until coherent words appear in his brain and out through his mouth, “s-sorry.”

Felix’s head game is so ridiculously mind-blowing that it makes you forget what language you speak.

Chan chuckles, purring into your ear, “don’t be sorry. You just can’t help it can you?” 

His hand circles up to your jaw, tilting it towards his face. He confirms in his mind how much of a mess you are. Cheeks stained pink with a fucked up expression that reads ‘I need more’, to which Chan reaches down and kisses you, sloppy and lazy. 

The velvety feel of your mouth when you open up more is slick with warmth. It’s starting to become more obvious how close you are when you start moaning repeatedly into Chan’s mouth. 

“I’m going to fuck you after this,” he breaks away, just inches from his lips again. 

You never would’ve guessed that Chan was even capable of forming such a dirty sentence. Then again, you never would’ve guessed that you would ever be in the position that you’re in now - having a threesome with your two housemates. 

“I’m…you’re gonna make me cum,” you sob, turning your head towards Chan on his shoulder, almost as if you were trying to escape the expansion of euphoria. He couldn’t help but kiss your forehead, waiting for you to brace for that wave. 

“Yeah?” Chan rouses. “Want to cum for us baby girl?”

You nod, too helpless to form an answer when you’re on the cusp of a forceful orgasm. He underestimated the strength he needed to hold you down, especially when you’re about to cum. So just when he needed to add more force, your body stiffens. Your legs so desperately crave to clamp around Felix’s head to help triage the pleasure, but it’s no use when Chan has you completely locked in. 

Your eyelids flutter, head pressing back further into Chan’s shoulder, “yes! I’m cumming!” 

With ragged, heavy breathing, the all-consuming pleasure takes you by the throat as the pleasure surges without control. Even though you’re being held down, it doesn’t stop your body from quivering. It lasts for what feels like an entire minute – one of the best orgasms you think you’ve ever experienced. 

Felix’s tongue slows down to a snail's pace, licking a few final stripes before kissing his way up your body, from your clit, abdomen, and then up to the base of your throat. His chin glistens as he adorns a smug smile. 

“Fuck…” you sigh out defeatedly, the aftermath of experiencing a volume of pleasure was starting to take its toll. “Oh my god.”

Chan kisses the side of your head, “sound so beautiful when you cum. Lix, switch with me so I can fuck her, yeah?”

“Wait-“ you pause, trying to reorient yourself as you hold onto Chan’s forearm for support. “I wanna ride you.” 

Felix looks down at you, “you sure angel? Channie isn’t exactly small.” 

From that statement alone, it was obvious to you that Felix was speaking from experience, a strong indication that they had in fact mucked around at least once in the past if not multiple times. But it didn’t matter if Chan or Felix for that matter was packing twelve inches, you needed to have something inside you to tame that need of feeling full. 

“I want to ride you-“ you nod to Chan – “but I want you to fuck me at the same time-“ you indicate towards Felix.

Neither of them expected you to be into that. Then again, they didn’t necessarily expect you to join them in bed either so anything was a surprise to them at this point. Chan and Felix can’t deny how insanely hot it is to hear you not only ask for them to do something but specifically ask you to do that. 

“Are you sure baby?” Chan has to ask you for assurance. 

“I can…I can take both of you.”  

Still stunned at your answer, Felix ushers to Chan, “you heard her.” 

He cannot lie and say that he’s not excited, because he is – they both are. So while Felix goes into the bedside table for a condom and lube, you move yourself off of Chan, turn around and start unbuckling his belt and helping him take his jeans off, almost like you’re in a rush. The imprint of his hard dick is enough to make your mouth water, and as Felix said, Chan definitely isn’t small. 

“Easy, I’m not going anywhere,” he chuckles, reorienting himself on the bed so that his head is on the pillow.  

Felix returns with the items he needs to help prep you, taking it as a sign to straddle over Chan’s legs and slowly tug his black boxers down. His cock springs onto his abdomen, the dark pink tip reaching just under his belly button. He had to be at least eight inches. Maybe just under, just.

“Ready angel?” Felix asks, kneeling behind you as you straddle Chan. The position would allow you to not only ride Chan but to take Felix from behind too, a dream so delicious that you can’t help but wonder how it was still all possible. 

“Yes,” you mutter. 

“Okay then,” he replies. 

Chan then holds the base of his cock steady for you, watching you slowly take those eight inches. The tip of his dick gently slots into your pussy, taking your time with sinking down. The warm heat engulfs his length, already sending shockwaves throughout his lower half. 

“That’s it, baby,” Chan says encouragingly, his fingertips delicately massaging over the skin of your things. “Good girl.”

You bite down on your bottom lip at the extraordinary stretch. In the meantime, Felix squirts a dollop of the lube onto his fingers to warm it up a bit before applying it to your hole.

He thumbs over it, sending shivers up your spine. It’s vital to him to make sure that you’re prepped well for him to fuck your ass. So he starts small by slowly inserting the tip of his finger, before gradually using slow yet long strokes, enough to make your head loll back. 

Felix has to express in awe when he sees the result of your efforts to fully envelope Chan’s length, “look at that. You took all of him, angel.” 

You know very well that you have because you can feel him in places that other men in your past haven’t reached. The stretch still sings a bit but it could easily be confused with the gorgeous satisfaction of Chan filling you right out. 

“So…big,” you strain out, scratching your nails down Chan’s abdomen, almost like a cat, just not as painful. 

Meanwhile, as Felix has slowly been stretching your hole out with his fingers, he uses his teeth and his free hand to peel the foil back of the condom packet. He had already freed himself from his jeans when he went to reach for the lube beside the bed so was hard and ready to roll the condom down his cock.   

“M’ready Lix,” you say to him, unable to see the smile you brought to his face from how eager you are. 

“I know baby, just one second,” he replies before aligning his cock with your hole. 

Very carefully and slowly, he starts pushing his tip in. Your eyes flutter shut, steadying your breathing in the process in preparation to take all of him as well. Chan rubs up and down your arm, distracting you from the temporary sting. With the lube doing its job, Felix can continue to push in at a leisurely pace right until he has the majority of his cock wrapped up by you. 

“Doing so well Y/N,” Chan says reassuringly. “Just stay like this for a bit until you’re ready to move yeah?” 

You nod, allowing your body and muscles to relax and ease into the pleasure that’s starting to fade out the burn. It’s difficult to comprehend a fuller feeling than this; to have two cocks stuffed in you to the hilt, and after a few moments of getting used to it, you slowly start to move. 

“Mmm, yes fuck,” you sigh with satisfaction, using your hands on Chan’s abdomen to steady your body as you being to move your hips. “You both…feel so fucking good inside me.”

Your words were difficult for Felix to not listen to who was trying to ward off from thrusting for a little bit until you were comfortable with him starting to fuck you. It wasn’t until your movements became a bit quicker that he began to catch up to your pace. Very quickly did the room turn into a space brimming with moans, wet sounds, and the sound of skin slapping. It was plenty to add to the intense sensation you were hurtling towards.  

Chan’s eyes are fixated on watching your pussy swallow his cock with every long stroke you take on him, “oh my god.”

With his tank top still on, Chan lifts it by the hem and holds onto it with his teeth. It wasn’t just to make sure that your hands weren’t going to be slipping on him as you use his abdomen to support yourself when you rock down, but it was also to restrict a whole bunch of moans that were about to rip through his chest. But even that couldn’t put a lid on the groans and growls rumbling from him. 

“Taking us both so well angel,” Felix says exasperatedly in your ear. 

His deep yet velvety voice has you leaning back slightly so that half of your back is pressed against his chest. With the help of you turning your head towards his face, Felix’s mouth crashes onto yours, almost tasting the remnants of yourself from before. He kisses you passionately, moaning into your mouth like he’s going to die if he doesn’t. 

“Fucking perfect,” he growls, diverging from your mouth to dive into your neck to suck a few hickies in and groping your tits from behind. “Can’t get enough of you dammit.” 

You sob out as he pinches your nipples, but also when Chan reaches down to your pussy, finds your clit and begins to rub in perfect motions, “god – fuck, I can’t…s’too much!” 

Their cocks hit spots so phenomenally that each time they stroke over them, your holes involuntarily clench around them. Not to mention the total stimulation they were feeding you. 

Felix’s hips haven’t faltered since they started pumping forward into your ass. The upward curvature of his cock seemed to be scratching the part of your brain that is responsible for making your eyes roll back. Chan’s dick on the other hand had you shaking. The length and girth were sickeningly satisfying. 

“Not gonna last,” you whine, still keeping up the same pace when you rock down on Chan and feel Felix continue to thrust in and out. “So close…” 

The hem of Chan’s shirt is long gone from his mouth, already given up on trying to suppress whatever was going to come out, “gonna cum for us again, huh? Such a good girl, taking us both at the same time.” 

Chan couldn’t lie either, but he was close a long time ago, probably the second you decided that you wanted to ride him. Felix happened to be on the same page. He couldn’t get over this entire situation, finding it so fucking hot that even just a dream of it would be a blessing. 

Words start to slip away from your brain once more. Aside from your orgasm swimming towards an astronomical high, you try to cling to that amazing feeling before it eventually disappears. But all good things come to an end. Your nails dig into Chan’s thighs while Felix has one arm barred just under your chest as the other hand doesn’t let up on your nipple. It throws your pace off balance and staggers your breathing when you start reaching that very pinnacle of euphoria. 

“Yes! Fuck, I’m cumming!” You scream out. 

Your thighs clamp around the frame of Chan’s lower half, shaking and shivering in place as the pleasure reaches its apex. Felix didn’t let up on his pace, fucking you all through your orgasm as Chan replaces your motions by fucking upwards and into you. Both of your holes spasm and contract around their dicks, enough to actually make them cum by the time you’ve reached the height of your orgasm. 

“I’m gonna cum, holy fuck, s’too good,” Felix’s head rests on your back, watching his cock disappear in and out of you before he starts to bust inside of the condom. His fingernails brutally dig into your hips when he cums. 

Your moans easily fill up the room once more now that you have no choice but to succumb to the euphoria when your orgasm hits its hardest. Chan’s head tips back further into the pillow, eyes screwed tight shut as he’s hit with a tsunami of pleasure. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he exclaims loudly, his chest heaving up and down as he spills inside of you. He’s lucky that he did because as the pleasure reached a point where it was too much for you to bear, you slowly lean forward towards Chan, their cocks sliding out of you in the process. 

On each exhale your body shudders, like the surges of aftershocks while the pleasure slowly plateaus. From this angle, Felix can still see you contracting, watching Chan’s cum leak from your pussy. If he wasn’t so fucked out, he would’ve had the energy to eat you out again. 

In saying that, he is the first to recover and come to his senses a bit faster than either you or Chan. He takes the condom off, ties it, and discards it in the rubbish bin in the corner of the room before putting his boxers back on. Meanwhile, you’re still panting trying to catch your breath, resting on top of Chan’s body, you feel his hand run soothingly up and down your spine. 

“Such a good girl for us,” he says caringly. “Felt so good.”

Felix sits beside you both at the top of the bed. He cards a gentle hand through your hair, observing your distant expression, “you there baby?” 

You blink up at him and nod, your brain still trying to process that sort of orgasm. 

“When you’re ready, we’ll get you cleaned up yeah?” He smiles softly down at you. 

As the minutes ticked by, Felix lent you a helping hand to stand up when you were ready. Even though you were wobbly on your feet, he still guided you to the bathroom and ran a nice hot shower. Both Felix and Chan joined you in a bid to make sure you knew that they were there, dousing you with as much praise as an individual could get – and they meant every word. 

When you were ready to hop out, Chan fetched you one of his warm jerseys and placed it straight over your body before telling you to hop in his bed while he went to gather up the towels and clothes from the bathroom. Just as he was picking up the last items, Felix caught him right as he was about to walk out. 

“She okay?” Chan asks him. 

Felix nods reassuringly, “out like a light.”

“Alright then,” he sighs contently. “She’ll probably be asleep for the rest of the day.”

“Mm,” he hums, staring at a space just to the side of Chan who picks up on the subtle behaviour. 

“Is there something wrong?” Chan asks as a slight concern balloons in his chest. 

“When are you going to tell her?” Felix asks. 

Chan stares at him, trying to figure out what he means, “tell her what?” 

He rolls his eyes and chuckles, “that you like her, idiot. That we like her.” 

That had been a distant thought for Chan for some time. The possibility of that ever working out between the three of you seemed like a long shot. You only all slept together. There was no depth to it other than that even though deep down, Chan would’ve liked it to be for the sole purpose that he likes you. But it’s not just him.

It’s also the one standing at the doorframe, staring right back at Chan; Felix. 

[pinkkittysaw]

BUT I CAN’T STOP STARING IN THOSE EVIL EYES

title is based off a lyric in lady gaga’s MONSTER

my halloween night of horrors masterlist can be found here!

pairing: plaga leon s. kennedy x plaga f!reader

summary: while wandering through an ill kept factory, you and leon grow closer in unimaginable ways due to unforeseen circumstances

word count: 5,648

content: NSFW (minors + ageless blogs DNI you will be blocked!) minor dub-con (in the beginning), slightly rough leon, mind control, notes of voyuerism, fingering, male masturbation, boot humping, minor breast/nipple play, unprotected p in v, creampie, breeding, degradation, praise, petnames (baby, princess, sweetie) leon steps on you, reader is wearing a skirt

*some things to note: though saddler is willing leon and reader into having sex, they both want to sleep with each other of their own volition regardless of the plaga’s influence, it’s the circumstances surrounding it that makes them apprehensive

there are lines of dialogue from RE4R used in paragraphs 12, 14-15, 18, 23 & 39. i do not claim to own these lines or any media from Capcom

a/n: first time writing for leon so please be kind!!! i am just a simple mouse girl :( i thought it’d be interesting to write the plaga “overtaking” him and reader in a sense, watching his mood change drastically much like how it does in the OG RE 4 in this scene with ada (choking cw)

divider by @/benkeibear

You stare at the huge chunk of amber in front of you; it's pretty. The reflecting light gives it a soft orange hue, brightening the dull room it inhabits. After closer inspection, you notice what appears to be hundreds, if not thousands, of Las Plagas encased in the resin. You were almost too scared to be looking at them for so long, fearful that the parasites would jump out at you from their confinement once you crossed a certain threshold.

Cocking your head to the side, you think aloud, "I wonder if this is where they extract the plaga."

Leon, who's rummaging around the room looking for any spare supplies, pipes up, "Who knows? I certainly don't feel like waiting around to find out. Come on." He waves you over, walking toward the exit after determining that none of the scrap in the room was worth taking.

"Alright," you agree, beginning to move towards him.

Then, all of a sudden, your movements are halted, unable to continue forward. "Fuck, no no no,” you think to yourself. Leon looks behind his shoulder, noticing that you haven't moved from your position.

"What are you doing? Let's go." You can barely speak, clenching your teeth together as you force the words out.

"I can't fucking move." You demonstrate your lack of mobility as you attempt to force your body forward, but the most that happens is the slight twitching of your arm and legs.

"What?" Leon's about to stride over to you when the door opens behind him. He's quick on his feet, his gun in the air, aiming his pistol at the tall figure and a group of robed cultists that soon follow him into the room.

"Welcome, my children," he states as the two followers remove the hood of his purple robe, the rest filing around the two of you.

"I am Osmund Saddler. The speaker for our Lord."

Leon, obviously fed up with all the loony bullshit, shoots Saddler straight in the eye. "Tell someone who gives a shit."

Saddler reels back from the shot but doesn't die, staying hunched over due to the impact. "Foolish lambs," he scoffs. "Why do you deny grace?" The volume of his voice rises, and all at once, Leon keels over, taking a knee as he almost completely falls to the floor in front of you, now frozen in place while his gun falls from his hands.

You try to reach out to him, but your movements are stunted.

"Now, abandon your body." Your body is not your own.

"Obey, obey the voice of our lord," Saddler commands as your forced motions bring you closer to Leon. There's a ringing in your ears as he gives you orders; the noise is so piercing that you're ready to stuff your ears full of cotton just to make it stop.

Leon's now back on his feet, his veins turning black against his skin as his arm reaches out to you. His body trembles as he extends forward. You're compelled to move onward slowly, reaching down for Leon's pistol.

"Stop, please," you plead, your wrist swaying back and forth as the gun locks onto Leon. "No," you grit, resisting with everything you have while your arm continues to wobble. Tears stream down your face as you're forced to pull the trigger, shooting one of the cultists to Leon's side, watching them drop dead to the floor.

"Sweet child, do not resist." His commands turn into scolding. The ringing in your ears gets louder as your arm moves again. "Please," you wail into the open air, willing to give anything as long as it meant that he stayed alive. The trigger is pulled again, and the other masked figure drops to the ground.

Leon's face coils up, and his body jerks, trying to reach you, but to no avail.

"I'm sorry," you whisper as you pull the trigger for the final time, scrunching up your eyes, not wanting to witness his lifeless body drop to the floor. The gun clicks and falls in front of you while you collapse onto your knees, sobbing onto the floor beneath, your tears staining the dark concrete floors.

Leon is released from his own entrapment and rushes over to comfort you, placing both his hands on your shoulders. "Are you okay?"

It's funny, you think, in a twisted sort of way. You almost killed him, and here he was, asking if you were alright.

"Pray forgive these wicked sinners," Saddler exhales while shaking his head. Leon's about to lunge for his gun when you're both halted once more.

"Injecting one's blood with the plaga isn't the only way to diffuse it among the populous."

Both you and Leon are manipulated until you're standing in front of each other, his hand reaching out to grab at your hip.

"What are you doing?"

"It's not me, I-"

He gets cut off by Saddler. "The plaga can reproduce sexually as well as through implantation." And it's all of a sudden that you feel a certain heat growing inside you—desire, a sort of carnality—and if the crimson on Leon's cheeks is anything to go by, he's feeling it too. There's a certain glint in his eyes now, a hunger that wasn't there before. Both his and your irises turn a bright vermillion as the plaga fully takes control. It's overwhelming. All of your senses are heightened, now very much cognizant of Leon's hand on your hip, the warmth of his skin permeating through your skirt. All you want now is for him to bend you over and take you.

You shake your head in the hopes of clearing your mind. God, when did you start harboring such intense feelings for him like this? This can't be okay, can it? He saved your life. He's a government agent simply doing his job to rescue you from this hell hole. That's what these feelings are—just misplaced appreciation. You try to reason with yourself as the growing need between your legs calls more and more for your attention.

"What the hell's going on?" Your voice is harsh as it cuts through the air. Leon's grip tightens on your hip, almost as if he's holding himself back.

"Is it not obvious, sweet child? You two have perfect compatibility as sexual mates, and since you're both able to resist killing each other, I'll just have to change my line of thinking and make things easier for you."

"Don't be ridiculous," Leon grunts.

"Why deny it? It's quite clear that you're attracted to each other."

"I barely even needed to coax the plaga into doing anything."

As fucked up as this entire situation was, Saddler wasn't wrong, at least in regard to your side of things. You were intrigued by Leon from the moment he found you, rescuing you after being hog-tied and thrown into one of the wardrobes of an abandoned cabin. He was still incredibly handsome, even if you didn't trust him at first. From the subtle bounce of his soft ashen hair when he jogged to the bulge of his biceps whenever he slicked his fingers through the silky strands and how he was so protective over you, so kind. You could go on and on listing the things you found attractive about him. How he looked suplexing zealots, the slope of his nose bridge, his little smirk after roundhousing ganados, the thickness of his thighs, the swell of his **very** defined chest, and god, his ass. His cute, full-pert ass that you could just-

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

This isn't right. You shouldn't be thinking of him this way, but no matter how much you try to resist, you're always coaxed back into these feelings of sensuality. You'd be lying if you said you didn't think of him fucking you against one of the crumbling walls in the village, holding you so tightly against him while he tugs on your tits. Arousal pools in your panties as heat rushes to your face at the thought.

"Fuck," you murmur, and Leon looks over at you, his breath more labored than before. 

"Submit your bodies and release yourself from fear!" Saddler booms, waving his staff around in the air. It's then that you feel Leon's hand underneath your skirt, cupping your mound through your tights, his other hand still gripping at your waist. 

"Leon-" you say exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry, I just..." he leans into you, inhaling your scent. "I'm sorry." His lips press into the side of your neck, slowly moving against the sensitive skin. It's so gentle and kind, and if you close your eyes, you can almost pretend that you're somewhere else, not in a dusty room of an old factory, being coerced to have sex through the means of a parasite.

"You're so soft...smell so good," he mumbles into your ear. Even if you're forced to fuck in front of Saddler and his devotees, Leon at least wants his words of care and fondness to be private—to be yours.

You can't help but moan out loud at his ministrations on your neck, feeling your skin crawl with a newfound heat. Your nipples pebble in your bra, and how desperately you want his hands to be on your breasts, kneading them. You wrap your arms around his neck, curling your fingers into the smooth, pale tresses at his nape.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he confesses over and over. He knows this is wrong. He should have a stronger will than this. He shouldn't be sleeping with the hostage he was tasked with saving. This wasn't how it was supposed to go, if at all. He probably wouldn't have confronted his feelings in any other circumstances, seeing how wildly inappropriate they were. He would've rather taken you somewhere nice—maybe a fancy hotel—and do all the sappy, romantic shit you deserve—the candles, the music, the mood lighting. It'd be sweet and kind, but no. Instead, you get this, being made to breed like cattle. The only comfort he can offer is through his words, his mind trying to fight against the plaga, but you smell too good, your skin so supple and warm against his mouth; it's almost as if he can feel the blood pulsing through your jugular vein. He gently grazes his teeth over the area, biting and pulling the skin taught.

"Don't apologize. You feel good too," you exhale, pushing your chest against his.

"I shouldn't let this sick bastard have so much control over me, but god, you feel so good against me," he groans, worming his hand under the band of your tights and underwear. You loll your head back as his assault on your neck continues. He sucks the skin gently as the worn leather of his gloves makes its presence known against your mound. His finger swipes between your slit, gathering the wetness leaking from your entrance to rub soft circles on your clit.

"Christ, you're already so wet for me, baby," he groans against your neck, your breath hitching at his words.

"Oh, you like that, huh?" An amused tilt now present in his voice, the soft circles on your clit continuing as he speaks against your throat. "You like me calling you baby?"

"Yeah," you mewl, your hand reaching down to grip his forearm.

"That's it. Just focus on me making you feel good." Your cute noises cause blood to rush to his cock, making it stiffen in his pants. Your head rests against his chest as he continues to play with you.

"You want my fingers, baby?"

"Yes," you pant, pressing your face into the middle of his chest. He lets out a lighthearted chuckle, his digit circling your entrance before sinking into your warm cunt. "Oooh, you're so tight, sweetie. Squeezing my finger real nice."

"I can't wait til you're on my cock." he mumbles against your throat once again, smirking. His finger curls deep into your soaked pussy, thrusting in and out as you grind against his palm.

"Yes, yes, yes," you gasp, his lips resuming the suckling of your skin as he adds another finger, stuffing your cunt with their thickness, the leather of his gloves wet with your slick as it glides against your clit. You look down from his chest to see his hardened cock starting to poke through his utility pants. Your hand wriggling down to slowly palm him through the fabric, a soft moan rearing from his throat at your touch.

Through feeling him against your palm, he seems to be an impressive size, definitely girthy from what you can make out.

You slide your hand back and forth against the crotch of his pants, his hips lightly bucking into you as a grumbled "fuck" falls from his lips. He sounds so hot when he moans, and you want to hear more.

"I need you to come for me, sweetheart. I need your pussy on my cock so bad." He curls his fingers some more, hitting that soft, spongey spot that makes you see stars. A few more thrusts from his digits and nudges from his palm have you arching into him, his mouth swooping down to swallow your moans through a kiss. He's the only one that gets to hear you cum, despite the audience you both have.

He keeps his fingers stuffed in your cunt as you ride out your orgasm, the sensation of your pussy squeezing down on him making his head whirl in anticipation.

"That's it. That's a good girl," he murmurs, guiding you through the waves.

Despite having just came, you're still just as eager, if not more so, to palm him through his black cargos. 

"Easy, easy. You'll have me soon enough," he coos in an attempt to pacify you, removing your hand from his erection while you whine and grumble in response to the loss of touch, wanting him to mount you already.

He guides you onto the floor, laying you flat on the chilled concrete. The cold seeps into your clothes and skin, causing you to shiver almost uncomfortably so as you arch your back, spreading your legs as far as they'll go in your tight skirt. You take to palming your tits through your top, desperate for any kind of prolonged pleasure. 

"Someone's needy," he chuckles to himself while he looms over you, his broad shoulders casting a large shadow over your form.

"Come on, you'll be a good girl for me, won't you?" He moves to remove both of his belts, unbuckling them and letting them drop to the floor. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest decision to leave himself so exposed, but neither of you could be bothered enough to care.

The next thing to come off was his shoulder holster, the leather straps meeting the other discarded materials on the floor. It's only after his confines are removed that he begins pleasuring himself, reveling in your position on the floor, legs spread deliciously while the rest of you becomes utterly debauched, your expression filled with nothing other than need and want.

You whine out a little, desperate for his touch even after the fact. He smirks while walking toward you, his heavy boots echoing throughout the room with loud thuds til he stops just short of your cunt and sneers. Something about him is different. 

He plants his foot atop your mound, grinding the sole into your folds. There's no real force behind it, but it's oppressive and demeaning. He's not the same Leon. The Leon who told dumb jokes at every opportune moment, who ate multicolored herbs, both raw eggs and fish WHOLE, yet looked at you as if you were the crazy one for refusing, choosing not to believe him when he said they'd "mend your wounds." This was not the same Leon who pulled you aside after you ran off scared, giving you words of reassurance and encouragement just as he had throughout this whole endeavor. No, this Leon was more sinister.

Your whines and mewls get a little more pathetic, rolling your hips and grinding yourself on his boot in a desperate attempt for any friction that he'd give you—which wasn't much, but still, anything was better than nothing!

In the midst of your pouting, you catch Saddler's eye. His expression is blank, almost as if he were watching paint dry. His attendants were dismissed by this point, as they had no need to witness the impregnation take place. You can't help but stare at him, his eyes oddly captivating, unable to help but wonder what he thinks of this. Surely he’s the one controlling you both, but is this a last effort of sorts? Making two "subjects" fuck like rabbits just for the sake of spreading his message, his word, and his so-called "vision" Was sex something that he looked down on? Something shameful?

You're pulled out of your thoughts when Leon whistles at you. "Would you rather fuck him instead, princess?" He jeers in a mocking tone. You frown and furrow your brows, glaring at him as you deliver a bratty "no" in response.

"Then keep your eyes on me, yeah?" He sneers as he grinds his heel into you some more, swiping his foot from side to side, knocking the grooves into your clit. He laughs as you continuously mewl into the air, squeezing your tits through your clothes, begging for more attention. Instead of aiding you in your frustrated disposition, he decides to be a little crueler, reaching down to palm his cock through his pants. His head lolls back as he lets out a soft groan, the sound causing more arousal to flood in between your legs.

You moan, your eyes scanning his features—the bob of his Adam's apple, the softness of his jaw, the way his teeth dig into the plush of his bottom lip.

Deciding to prod further, he pulls out his leaking cock from his pants, and you can't help the gasp that escapes you at the sight. He has an adorable ash-blonde happy trail running down his navel that fans into darker, coarse curls at the base of his cock. It has a slight left curve to it and a pretty pink tip. The look of it is tantalizing and mouth-watering. Your mind is flooded with every memory you’ve had of wanting Leon to fuck you silly during this godforsaken nightmare. Now you have a visual to go along with your many fantasies—a pretty cock for an equally pretty man.

You expected him to be in a hurry to fuck you, but he does something unexpected. He keeps his foot on your cunt. You attempt to sit up, your abdomen contracting as you begin to move upward, when he plants his boot on your chest instead, right on your sternum, effectively pushing you flat on your back again.

"Did I give you permission to move?" He stares, cocking his head and quirking a brow, looking down at you as if he were scolding a misbehaving puppy. His carmine irises meet yours as you attempt to shove off his foot by his ankle, though soon finding it pointless as the boot remains firm and steady against you.

You shake your head with a petulant "no," grumbling as his foot takes hold of your chest, pressing lightly on your rib cage, making it somewhat difficult to breathe.

"Then don't get greedy," he chastises, moving his boot back to its previous position on your cunt, leaving a muddy footprint in its wake. Instead of providing you with the friction you wanted, his limb now lays idle against you.

You frown at the brown stain left on your top, glaring at him once more. "You ruined my shirt!"

"I'll tell you what: when this is all said and done, I'll get you a new top. How bout that princess?"

You roll your eyes, grumbling as his hand moves toward his mouth, yanking off his fingerless gloves with his teeth and tossing them among the pile of his other forgotten items.

Warm palms slither down his torso, making their way to his cock, where he squeezes the base, shaking it in the air a tad, teasing you with it.

It's well-known at this point how much you desire him. The plaga floods both of you with nothing but thoughts of you two fucking each other. He watches you eye his cock thoroughly, gnawing at your bottom lip with how badly you wanted him to fill you up.

He languidly begins to pump his hand up and down, precum leaking from his pretty tip all the way down his shaft, creating all the slip he needs. You start to buck your hips against his boot, desperate for your own pleasure, which he still refuses to give you. His hand continues to move along his cock; the rough callouses on his palm are a stark contrast to the glisten of his slick-covered dick.

You huff and puff as he continues to jerk off, growing tired of being teased and tormented. His thumb glides along the slit of his cock head, causing his hips to buck and shudder. You were like a rabbit on a treadmill, his cock being the carrot on the string you were being teased with, so close yet so far...

"Leon, you're being mean," you scowl, feeling grumpy and grouchy, tired of his damn games, your panties soaked through with your arousal, craving any sort of attention.

"Mean?" he asks, pressing his foot further into you, pumping himself a smidgen faster while his pectoral muscle begins to bounce with his quickened pace.

"If I were mean, I'd make you cum just like this while you watch me jack off."

"And since you want to act like such a little brat, maybe that's exactly what I'll do." He speeds up again, twirling his wrist as he fucks his fist, his grunts and groans filling the air among your whines.

"No, no, no, no," you cry, watching him buck into his hand as the slick makes his cock even more slippery.

A pink hue floods his cheeks as heat builds in his body, sweat gathering on the threads of his clothes.

"No?" he mocks with a feigned pout. "You want my cock that badly, huh? Want it to fill you up? Stuff you full?"

"Mhm," you nod incessantly, heat flooding your own face as well, the arousal so overwhelming that you feel as if you’ll burst.

"Why don't you beg for it? Beg for my cock."

You look at him apprehensively. Was he really gonna make you beg for him like a cock-hungry fool?

"I'm not joking about finishing you off with my boot. You'll get no dick and no cum." His efforts hastened, his hips twitching every so often. He’s serious, and so are you, so despite your "strong-willed bratty nature," you beg and you plead for his cock like a good girl.

"Please gimme your cock, Leon. Need it so bad. Need you to fuck me dumb; turn my brain into mush."

"I think you can do better than that princess," he smirks down at you, huffing slightly from the continued pleasure.

Your words turn into a slew of pleas and jumbled moans varying from saying you'll "die without his dick," "how badly you need it," and "how desperate you are for it," all of which boil down to you whining please over and over and over. When he's finally decided that you've made your case, he staves off his release, gripping the base of his cock so as not to finish right in his hand.

He drops to his knees, grabbing and pulling you towards him by your hips, your thighs settling on either side of his while he hovers over you. All his movements are quick and hasty in nature as he hikes up the bottom of your skirt over your pelvis, allowing you to spread your legs further and welcome him into the warmth between your thighs.

He stares down at your black tights below him, now transparent enough to see through to your pale-colored underwear from the fabric being stretched so far. He wastes no time in grabbing the crotch of your tights at the seam and effectively tearing a huge hole in them, his biceps bulging as he rips the fabric from your body. He stares down at the cute design of your panties as your tights lay in shreds against your leg, his eyes settling on the front of the fabric, the wet splotch soaking through from your previous orgasm.

He moves his hand over to your cunt, running his middle and ring fingers through your slit. He settles on your clit, rubbing the sticky fabric against you as he swirls the bundle of nerves in slow circles.

"I've wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I'm surprised that I held out as long as I did without fucking you."

"Leon," you groan. "No more… I wanna feel you, please," you mumble, reaching out to him as a final stand to get what you desperately crave.

He finally gives in, tugging down the waistband of his pants, landing on the swell of his thighs and below the curve of his ass, exposing the stretch marks that litter his hips and upper thighs.

"See something you like, princess?" he teases, pumping his cock a few times in preparation.

"Mhm, mhm," you nod eagerly as he begins to move toward you. Luckily, your panties are spared from his strength as he chooses to simply pull them aside instead of tearing them apart. He mumbles a grumbly "fuck" as he gets a look at your sweet cunt for the first time. The hair covering your mound shines as your arousal spreads throughout your folds. He doesn’t stop himself from running a finger in between the seam of your pussy, gathering the slick on the pad of his digit and sticking it in his mouth, groaning at the taste of your sweetness.

"Delicious," he mutters as he lays his cock against the warm heat of your sex, giving you a closer look at just how big he is.

He lines himself up at your entrance, and without so much as a warning, he thrusts into you down to the base. You arch into him, your breasts pressing into his chest as your back curves in his direction, a hearty moan coming from both of you. He stretches you out better than in your fantasies, your warm, wet walls clenching down on him as he twitches inside.

"Let's take care of this, yeah?" He asks, lifting your upper half into the air and placing you on your elbows. He lifts your top over the peak of your breasts, ogling the sight of your tits filling out your bra, trapped within their confinement, before he's reaching behind you to fumble with the clasp of the garment. A part of you is amused while watching him struggle, but it's not long after that the cups are falling from your body, your breasts free to Leon’s eyes and the open air as he pulls the straps down your shoulders, flinging the undergarment toward the pile of other forgotten items. He decides to keep your shirt on, enjoying the disheveled, fucked-out look you have with your clothes half on and half off, letting the top stay wrinkled above your tits.

"Perfect," he mumbles, moving his head toward your chest to mouth at it, planting open-mouth kisses along the swell of your breast as his hips begin to roll languidly. He gives you a few slow strokes, just to get acquainted with each other's bodies, before it quickly turns into a hurried fucking.

His hips knock into yours in quick succession, his girth smoothing over every ridge and groove in your tight cunt, leaving you panting into the air as he grunts and groans against your breast. His body pressed so tightly against yours.

His lips find your nipple, his tongue swirling around the areola before pulling the nub into his mouth. The roll of his hips and the suckling of your nipple add to your growing pleasure. You buck your hips in tandem with his, desperate to feel every bit of pleasure you can.

"So greedy, huh, princess? Just need your cute cunt, fucked huh? Anything goes as long as you feel good, right?"

You whine, clenching down on him, squeezing his cock tight as he fucks you thoroughly. He pulls away from your chest, grabbing your hips tight in his grasp, his fingers digging deep into your skin.

"God, you’re perfect for me," he mumbles, leaning back so he's standing straight on his knees, his hands pulling you down on his cock as he brutally thrusts back into you. "So perfect for me to breed." You swear you can see a glint in his eyes as he says that, and your pussy pulsates around him even more.

"You like that, huh?" he teases, punctuating every word in the sentence with a brutal thrust. "You like the thought of being all mine? being claimed by me? Me fucking my kids into you? Knocking you up?"

You mewl and wail, nodding and gasping and heaving; the only thing you care about at this moment is him fucking you full of his seed.

The snap of his hips continues to get quicker, your soft breasts bouncing so pretty as you lay beneath him, your worn and fucked-out expression giving him nothing but joy. His rhythm gets so quick that he manages to slip out of your vice-like grip, causing a low and extended whine to draw out from your lips. He chuckles, enjoying how desperate you are for his body, and leans himself into you once more while he guides his cock back into you, his thrusts regaining their previous speed.

His hand pushes one of your thighs toward your chest, rolling his hips deeper so he can more easily hit the spot that makes your eyes cross, the coil in your belly winding tighter and tighter as he fucks into you with more vigor. You can’t stop your hands from wandering as you grab the plush of his ass, squeezing the fat while you writhe underneath him. You pant into his mouth, trying to signal him for a kiss, to which he happily obliges, meeting your lips with his as he continues to drive you further and further to the edge.

"Gonna cum for me, princess?"

"Gonna cum on my cock like a good girl?"

"Want it so bad, please?" You moan, sneaking your hand down to the front of your body and rubbing quick circles to your clit.

"Go ahead, princess, cum for me," he mumbles, nestling his head in the crux of your neck, sucking on your pulse point. As his hips continue to thrust into you, you arch intensely into him, moaning loudly as you reach your climax, your eyes rolling into the recesses of your mind as your nails claw into the meat of his ass, leaving pretty, red crescent-shaped divots in his porcelain skin.

You run your hand through his silky blonde strands as you position yourself next to his ear. "Cum with me, Leon," you mutter, still reeling from the aftereffects of your high, the additional thrusting adding to the lingering pleasure still felt. "Cum in me, please. Wanna be stuffed full of you." You lick a stripe up his neck, the salt from his sweat lingering on your tastebuds.

It's a few short and sloppy thrusts later that he's grunting loudly into your skin while he cums, ropes of his seed traveling to your womb.

The door can be heard shutting behind you as Saddler makes his exit, Leon's hips slowing to a full stop once he’s left. With the impregnation going through, he no longer needs to bother himself with whatever the two of you do from here on out.

It’s a few minutes later that the both of you begin to feel normal again, or as normal as you can be given the dire situation. It doesn’t take long for Leon to recover, his baby blues greeting you once more as he snaps to attention, getting himself situated as he puts on his gear and adjusts his clothes, keeping a watchful eye on you as you start to do the same, picking up your bra from his things on the floor.

After getting dressed, he’s immediately at your side. "I'm so sorry. I-"

You cut him off with a finger placed on his lips and a shake of your head. Your face is tired and weary, and your voice a little strained as you tell him, "It's alright."

He’s not willing to argue with you on the ethics of what went down, at least not here, so he decides to put off the conversation til you’re both safe back home, hopefully having figured out some sort of plan by then.

"Are you good enough to move? We shouldn't linger around."

You nod, moving to fully take off your tights before making your departure, seeing as you have no more use for the tattered fabric. The torn material catches his eye, causing embarrassment to rise throughout his face, his cheeks taking on the same rosy hue as before.

"I'll make good on my word, I promise. I’ll get you a new shirt and some tights when we get back. For now…"  He walks towards the exit. "We need to get rid of these damn things," he says, pointing to his chest. He checks his jammed gun, ejecting the magazine and resetting the casing before gesturing you over toward him, readying the weapon in front of him before the two of you begin to make your way out of the factory.

Needless to say, this would NOT be going in his incident report.

[clatoera]

Always Remember We’re Burned for Better Chapter 14: Who You Are Is Not What You Did

Welcome back my friends! Not much to say this week, other than aren’t you proud of me for updating in seven days! Thats a big deal for me (who slipped into 10-14 day updates). 

AO3

Masterpost

Title from Innocent (Taylor’s Version)

Here. Have some Glim Glam. And Cato. With a gun. 

I feel like I shouldn’t even tag the besties this week because this chapter is so fucking random but. I guess I will. @ohhowwehavefallen cato with a gun is for you and you alone. @kentwells look i tagged the right blog this time. 

Time does not pass in District Thirteen. Well, of course it does but at the same time it does not. Monotony and Isolation do not make for the easy passage of time, when minutes blend to days blend to weeks. Glimmer isn’t even sure if it’s been weeks or if it’s been months. The only confirmation of passage of time is when she catches her reflection in a window, on the way to various mandatory (Mandatory for most, unless you are Cato who refuses and throws a punch at the first possible opportunity when someone attempts to grab him and force him) gathers. She can catch the roots of her hair, imperceptible to some, but to her she can see the shimmering platinum dyed tones in her hair growing out to the more natural golden tone. It wasn’t much but as a girl who grew up with the priority on her appearance– she could recognize it as at least four weeks since their initial capture.

This is what the world has come to. Calculating weeks of isolation based on the roots of platinum blonde hair.

That’s okay. He had always liked her golder hair better–

No, Glimmer, don’t think of him. You can’t live for the people who aren’t here.

She’s got her legs tucked under her again, criss crossed with her right foot atop her left knee, as she’s bent nearly entirely in half with a piece of thread and an old, blunted sewing needle in the other.  She stitches together her sheets, with an invisible seam she runs down the length of them.

“Are you trying to make a sleeping bag over there, Glim Glam.” Comes grumbling from her room (cell?) mate, the one the only Cato Hadley, who is quite literally doing nothing but laying on his back and staring into the gray abyss of the ceiling. “You need that comfort of feeling like you’re in the arena to be able to sleep?”

“You’re one to talk about sleeping, Cato.” Glimmer murmurs to herself, having been kept up by the constant thrashing, tossing, and turning, of the man throughout the duration of the night. If she had to guess he’s probably getting two, three interrupted hours a night. Ask how she would know.  “No. I need something to do, I’m just..practicing making a dress.”

Cato props himself up at that, craning his neck to look over at her across the dull room. “They gave you a needle? They won’t even give me a fork.” A knife, of course, is so far out of the question it isn’t even funny. It makes sense, of course, and neither of them had been given the privilege of more than a spoon at mealtimes. “Aren’t they afraid you’ll stab someone’s eyes out?”

“I guess they figure the worst thing I would do is stab my own eyes. Or, you . Which, who here would really complain about that?” Her fingers slide the thread through the low-quality cotton, bringing the makeshift hem to a proper, even line. “I can’t have a fork either, by the way. Seems stupid, doesn’t it? You kill people with your bare fucking hands.. like you need a weapon to do damage. “

“It doesn't seem to take much to be in charge here.” Cato remarked, before he lays back down on his flimsy mattress, which has to have an imprint of him by now due to how much time he spends laying there, lifeless on the mattress. “What do you mean you’re making a dress? Since when do you..sew?”

Glimmer nods, pulling the needle from where she holds it in her lips. “It would’ve been my talent. Dresses. You know, before they decided my talent was just my body.” She flips her wrist over, forming an elaborate loop on the bottom edge of the sheet in her hand. “Then, of course, Firegirl got to claim it. As if she even thought about those designs she was passing off on her own.” It was as if her eye roll was audible in her voice, from the way she heard Cato laugh over it. “I wanted to make pretty dresses. Wedding dresses..tour dresses for victors…like the ones Clove was wearing on her tour. That green dress she was in when you came to one–wow.”

“....that was my favorite one, too.” He admits, and the soft tone in his voice tells Glimmer he’s remembering it now, the ivy embroidery that had covered her skin. “The only thing Clove and I can stitch is each other. I guess that was our talent, too.”

“What would you have picked, if you had gotten to?” She continues, flipping her fabric over to reveal a fairly functional looking skirt. Immediately she rips out the seams so that she can start over with her fabric. She begins again, threading the dull needle with thread, before repeating her exact lace as before.

“No idea. I..honestly never gave much thought to life after the games, Glimmer. I just planned to be a trainer. Be with Clove. I dunno, have a couple of kids, I never gave much thought to what I'd do to entertain the masses.” Cato brings his hands behind his head, propping his head in the palms. This is all he does anymore, it feels like. Fidgets into new positions, slowly slipping closer to the edge of madness in this bare room, not knowing the fate of anyone he loves, not knowing the fate of the world. “Clove..hers would’ve been cooking. God she was so good at it.”

“Is. She is good at it.” Glimmer corrects gently, having forced herself only to speak in the positives, to cling to any semblance of hope that they are still alive out there. “I never understood the big deal with food.”

“You’ve never had hers, god Clove made the BEST breakfast, and she’d make this sauce for steak that was just so fucking good. She was just good at everything she ever did.” Cato nearly smiles, just barely, when he talks of her, when the memories of early mornings before her training slipped into his mind. “After the games, damn, we had the best time trying new things. She had this fascination with avocados, we never even had those before I won, and I accidentally bought a whole like..crate of them. One avocado seemed so small, I thought they were like a grape, I don’t know. She liked them a lot, though.”

“I wasn’t allowed to do all of that.” Glimmer explains, setting her pile of sheets and thread by the foot of her bed before leaning back herself, joining him in his staring at the ceiling. “I’ve been on strict, strict, strict diets honestly…my whole life. It seems funny, you know, that people in the lower districts don’t have enough to eat, but I just…wasn’t allowed to. Have to maintain the Capitol’s favorite product, you know?”

“Yeah, well, you still don’t eat anything.”

“Yeah, that’s on purpose, Cato.”

He snorts.  “Is that your grand plan? Starve yourself to death? I expected better from you, Glim Glam.”

“They can’t force me to stay alive.” She retorts, though she knew if they really cared to they would. Afterall, they do it to Katniss. Not that they’d care about her, a problematic career girl.

“Sure they can. They do it to us all.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you, Cato. You lay in that bed all fucking day, and sleep maybe two hours at night. You’re going to kill yourself by sheer fucking exhaustion.”

“What else am I supposed to do? Go play friends with Katniss? Have lunch with Finnick? Is that what you do? I don’t really want to live in a world without her, either, Glimmer, but at least I'm not actively starving myself out.“

Glimmer curls into herself, at that. This infighting, this bickering, it was not going to get them anywhere. They were each other’s only allies, now, and this was getting them nowhere. These childlike arguments did not serve them.

“....it’s hard to live for the idea of someone coming back, you know? When we have no proof that they’re alive. It’s not like I really want to live in a world after this, Cato, if he isn’t here.”

“And you think I want to go back to Two without her, Glimmer? Fuck no. But I’m not actively trying to slowly die while waiting for her. You’re the one who keeps telling me to talk about her in the present, but you’re the one actively trying to just..give up. I’m not telling you to live for him, but yeah, I am.”  Cato pulls himself to a seated position, facing her bed directly. He wants to be angry, he wants to be livid at her, but she just looks so..small? Pathetic? Hopeless? “If that is all we have we have to hold on to it.”

“She’ll kill you if you die before she gets back.” Glimmer half teases, though any playful edge is gone from her voice. It wasn’t like this was unusual. She slipped into a semi catatonic state once a week, it felt like. They managed to alternate days– who went off the deep end which day changed as quickly as the weather.

“Then how about we don’t die before they get back.” He gently teased in response, watching Glimmer roll onto her side, facing away from him.

If he had it in him, he’d comment on the way her shoulders are shaking softly, a tell tale sign she’s resigned to crying to herself again. It wasn’t uncommon, necessarily, he just didn’t have it in him to fight this time, to try to reassure her when he could not even reassure himself.

“When this is all over, when we’re back home.. You’ll have to let Clove change your mind about food.” He offers as a verbal truce, before laying back down on his own side. “I can’t wait to eat anything but the same dry, flavorless chicken over and over and over. They fed us better in the academy, and even that was fucking awful.”

Glimmer sniffles, wiping her tears out of her eyes, trying to catch her breath before she lets herself respond. “I’d like that. So would Marvel. He loves all things food.” She kicks the sheets up over her feet, turning her once makeshift dress back into the sheets that they are.  “He’s so funny, you know, everyone thought that would be his talent. And yeah, trust me, he could make anyone laugh but he’s good at so many other things! He used to make me these beautiful flower arrangements and he was so good at writing and you’d never know but he hates blood outside the games– he was a lot more than just funny, that's all.”

“....is. Glimmer. He is.”

-

A fingertip’s worth of roots have grown out of her hair by the time she can stomach talking to Finnick Odair.

He’s stored behind a door just like hers, only alone. For a second she wonders why Cato and Finnick were not boarded together, when she remembers that they'd probably rather she and Cato both be dead by this point anyway. They probably hoped they’d off each other before this point.

“You look terrible.” Is the very first thing she says to him following her attempt on his life a month prior. “So much for the prize of the Capitol.”

“I could say the same about you. I’ve never seen you without the fresh highlights.” He offers in response, though he does not even look up from his hands. She realizes almost immediately what he is doing, when his fingers twist over and over into each other.

“You gonna hang yourself with one of those?” Glimmer invites herself in, perching herself at the foot of his bed. “Seems like a waste of fabric.”

“It’s all my fault.” Finnick whispers, and for the first time Glimmer realizes he is rocking back and forth almost imperceivable. Well, imperceivable to someone who hasn’t spent hours and hours of their lives sharing traumatic experiences. “It’s my fault they got her.”

“Who? Annie? No, Finnick..they woulda got her anyway. It’s not your fault.” Now is it his fault the four of the careers had split up, not knowing what was coming? Yes.

“It is. They got her. If I had never said her name–”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. They would have gone after her, anyway, Finnick. She wasn’t going to be safe.” Her heart cried for the sweet girl. She wasn’t mad, no, not at all. Who amongst them hadn’t experienced severe trauma in the arena.

“I wanted to tell you.” Finnick croaks out, lacing his fingers together faster and faster, tying knots at record speed. “They told me one and two..you guys couldn’t be trusted. I wanted to tell you.” There's a shameful quality to his voice, as if he genuinely did feel terrible for not telling her sooner, as if he did in fact regret not inviting her into this secret alliance.

“After all we had gone through..you still believed I couldn’t be trusted?” Glimmer half whispers, reaching out to take the other end of the fabric, where she simply chose to braid it instead. “You were there the worst days of my life. You were there with me through all of it. You taught me about the meds to knock myself out, you warned me about–”

“I know. And I’m sorry, Glimmer. I am. It was bigger than me, but I'm sorry.” He can’t look up at her, cannot see the agony behind her eyes, the loss of joy that has been building for seven years finally coming to a head. “It’s my fault they’re there, I know.”

“It is. But you can’t change it now. I want to hate you, Finnick. I want to hate you, but then I remember being seventeen and terrified and in pain and you being the only one who could sit with me while I cried in the shower. I want to hate you but you were the one who carried me home after those terrible procedures, every time I cried because I thought I was bleeding to death, Finnick... I want to hate you but it’s hard to hate you when you look so pathetic.” Glimmer takes the risk, reaching her hand out to place it on top of Finnick’s. “How can I hate you, after we ended up in the same terrible sinking boat again.”

“I am sorry.” He repeats, and Glimmer starts to wonder if this is the broken record he’s been giving to everyone in thirteen recently. “I’m sorry to them, too.”

“You weren’t the one who left them behind.”  Glimmer concedes, dropping the other end of his fabric knot contraption. “You know, I’m impressed, Katniss is still putting up that little show for Peeta. Guess she’s a better actress than I remembered.”

“It’s not all an act, Glimmer. You weren’t there, you should have seen how she acted when that video of Peeta came on.”

Right. Peeta Mellark and his pro-capitol propaganda video. How could she forget? They had been in isolation, as usual, when it was aired. All they knew is they could hear the screaming from their locked unit. Whatever he had said had upset the masses, and had brought Katniss Everdeen to the proverbial edge.

“You shouldn’t hate her so much, Glimmer. She made the deal to pardon Clove and Marvel, too.”

Right, how could she forget. Part of her terms and conditions had involved the pardon of all living victors, which, if she didn’t hate her so much, she might actually thank her for.  Of course, this hell hole and this government would see them as a threat. It was probably the same reason her and Cato were even still alive– the Mockingjay conditions.

“She does everything for her sister, you know? It was all for her. But it’s about Peeta now too. I didn’t believe it either.” Finnick admitted, finally locking green eyes with her own. “You should have seen her when his heart stopped–”

“His heart stopped??”

“During the games. I brought him back, she never would’ve held it together without him.”

Glimmer thinks for a moment, back to the arena, that first night when there had been a dying scream and no following canon– “The first night, right?”

Finnick nods, flexing and squeezing his hands together to uncramp them after the intricate knot tying exercise. “She reacted..honestly like I would have. Or you would have. Or Clove would have.”

She scoffs, raising a single eyebrow in pure disbelief. “You think she likes him?”

“I think she loves him. She’s just as bad as we are, Glim.” Finnick admits, running a hand through his greasy, unshowered hair. The curls fall more as waves at this point, lacking the care and upkeep of even a basic shower. “She’s been sedated as often as Cato has.”

For a split second, Glimmer feels almost bad. She pouts, bottom lip out, as she thinks of all the jabs she’s sent Katniss’s way. It never looked real.

“well..I don’t believe for a second that she’s pregnant. I would- well, I think we’d all know, considering she’d have to be what? Like..four? Five? Months pregnant by now, there's no way–”

“I’ll give you that one, Glimmer.”

-

“You look absolutely ridiculous.” Glimmer reminds him freely, hands sitting in her own lap as she watches him across from her, a thin plastic spoon bending and snapping as he tries to shove it through the thin chicken breast with no avail.

“You try to cut this dry shit with a spoon, it would be easier if the chicken was still alive.” Cato rips a piece off, tossing it at the face of the blonde girl across from him. “Eat.”

“If you’re complaining about it, I'm not sure it’s worth the waste of calories.”

“Shut your stupid mouth and eat.”

Glimmer rips a piece of a bread roll off to throw back at him, hitting him straight in the forehead, but does relent and rips a tiny piece off to nibble on herself. “I bet this is what it was like to live in District 12.”

They’re isolated in a different way, now. Sure, they’re with the overall population of District Thirteen, but the two of them sit at a corner cafeteria style table, with noone within four or five tables from them. It’s like they had the capitol loyalist plague, and no one wanted to catch it. The murmurs of murderer, child killers, psychopaths didn’t bother them much, though sometimes Glimmer just wanted to scream back at them.

 We were children too. We wanted to live, too.

Whatever. At least they don’t have to play nice.

At least, until right now.

Beetee– who recovered from both their attack on their arrival– wheeled himself over to their table, not bothering to bother with niceties.

“Would you two follow me?”

“We’re a bit busy enjoying this gourmet, five star meal, maybe we’ll try again later–” Cato argues, intensely focusing on the garbage food before him. He tightens his grip on his fork, and Glimmer can tell he’s debating how to turn it into a weapon. Or rather, if he should.

“No. I believe you will be very happy to follow along.” Beetee urges again, nodding his head towards the door.

Glimmer and Cato lock eyes, distinctly debating if this was worth the possible trap. Sure, Beetee is not a risk to either of them, but there was no reason he wouldn’t be in on a reason to get rid of them, either.

Glimmer pushes herself up first, and Cato follows. It’s funny, for someone who declared himself the de facto leader of their career pack in the arena, he often seemed to wait for her cue, too. Maybe he finally saw her as an equal threat.

All it took was a few attempts at murder  to bring two people together.

They follow Beetee silently, through elevators and the deep depths of District Thirteen they had not visited before. Hell, they didn't even know it went this deep down into the Earth.

He leads them to a heavily armored door that he can only access through a scan of his eye.

“I had to fight to get you two privileges down here.” Beetee begins, as two heavy metal doors begin to part down the middle, giving way to a heavily armored room, both in terms of the heavy metal surrounding the room but also in terms of arms.

Weapons. They brought them to the weapons.

“Holy shit.” Cato grins, actually grins, for the first time since their capture and separation back in the arena. “You have to be an idiot to bring us here.”

LIke a kid in a candy store, truly, Cato half runs forward. He runs his hand over the array of shining metal weapons, sliding his finger over the sharp metal edges of hunting knives.

“Well. Katniss and the others are on a special mission. District Eight, trying to gather some footage. If all the other victors have access, you should as well. You can’t hurt anyone from inside here.”

“How the hell did you get them to agree to this?” Glimmer smiles, picking up the spare bow, weighing it in her hands. It was most certainly meant for Katniss, not her, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind.

“Think of it as enrichment time. If they think you two are useful to the cause– you may have some advantages on your side.” Beetee was no fool. Neither Glimmer nor Cato were going to support this cause, but at least they could be less of a danger if they were entertained.

Cato picks up a trident, clearly meant for Finnick, and twirls it between his nimble fingers. “ Don’t tell me you’re going to send Finnick into an active war zone with a trident. What moron goes into a literal battle with a Trident.”

The games were one thing. They were all trained in some sort of short ranged, low impact weapon. This, though, was different. This was war.

“Finnick and Katniss are…more for show.” Beetee admits, noting how Glimmer has discarded the bow in exchange for some of the other knives at their disposal. “It’s impactful, to display them with the weapons they were known for. It helps to bridge a gap. Besides, Katniss is very comfortable and proficient with a bow.”

“That’s suicide, to send them into actual war with those, you know that.” Glimmer mumbles, shaking her head in disapproval. “Bringing a knife to a gunfight. But somehow worse, when she is the actual symbol of your war.”

“Our goal is to never let her experience actual danger..”

“You don’t have Peeta. She’ll put herself in danger to get him back.” Glimmer counters, ignoring the perplexed eyebrow raise of Cato. Right. She hadn’t shared Finnick’s revelations a few weeks ago with him. Note to self, then. “I can’t believe we got access to the victor playground. We’re on suicide watch at breakfast.”

“Well..I assumed this would be a nice distraction, and you will keep access so long as you don’t go for the–”

A literal shot echoes through the metal room, and Glimmer and Beetee both whip their heads behind them.

Cato stands there, smoke coming from the actual gun he holds in the palm of his hand. “I’m not going into any fucking war, but I want one of these.”  He fires off a few more shots, that one after the other, hit the center of the distant target dummy. He’s aimed at one of those many times in his life–usually with a sword or occasional spear– but this..this was pure power held in his hands.

“Guns. I didn’t want you to go for the guns.” Beetee sighs, as Glimmer practically jumps over him to get to Cato. “Just don’t kill any of us.”

Glimmer holds out her hands excitedly, grabbing towards him. “Gimme, I wanna try.”

“Get your own.” He nods to the table behind me, where another similar handgun remains. “I don’t get why they never let us use these…”

“Oh please, we’d have ended the games in an hour flat.” She teases, twirling the metal in her hands and bringing her arms out before her.

Like Cato, she hits the dead center of the dummy, over and over and over, each shot as precise as the last.

“Not bad, blondie.” Cato compliments, giving her an affirming nod of her head. “I guess all that training carries over across weapons, huh?”

“You’re blonde too, idiot.” Glimmer rolls her eyes, firing off a few more shots before the clip runs out. “Beetee, I need more!”

“On the table.” The older man sighs, watching in contentment  as the two most unhinged members of the rebellion fire off countless accurate, precise shots.

They learn, fast, how to reload the clip without missing a single beat, firing off hundreds and hundreds of rounds of lead into the dummies around the room.

They never miss.

“Clove will love this.” Cato decides, for the first time genuinely speaking positively about the future without prompt. “I can’t wait to show her.”

“Do you think we could go after them?” Glimmer whispers for Cato alone, eyes flicking between the targets. They were incredibly accurate– but they’d need access to the weapons and transportation. There were logistics involved that they may not be capable of.

“...we could try–” Cato offers, before shaking his head. “It might be suicide.”

She understands, and gives a short nod of her head. It was probably a no. But the idea, well, it was there and shared between them.

“Beetee!” Glimmer calls, twisting blonde hair over her finger with a little coy look on her face, offering an abrupt change to the topic of conversation. “I am not going into this war, but if I had to, can you get me a pink one?”

Cato snorts, going back to his roots and picking up a long, serrated hunting knife. “Just what everyone wants to see, you take out President Snow with a pink, shiny little gun. Will you be fighting Miss Mockingbird on fire for that honor?”

Glimmer begins to giggle, then lets out a short, sharp gasp as she realizes what he says. He must realize at the same time, the implication of what he has said, for he looks up with a startled look on his face.

Such a statement is blatant support for the Rebellion. The implications that they would be part of a take down of the Capitol– well that's treason, in itself.

Of note does not try to correct himself, or change the topic. Beetee does not comment, but he does have a small smirk twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Cato gives a half hearted laugh, before he goes back to the array of weapons before them. Glimmer sets down the gun, the implication of holding it still a bit much.

When did they become treasonous little snakes themselves?

[terraliensvent]

Hi mod it’s Cass

I am also YOUR number one fan!!! I don’t plan to stay in Terras, just hanging around until I get my art for my trade and then I’m running for the hills basically. The NSFW jokes and the general atmosphere are too much. I’m an adult in a server full of children, and atp given the nonchalance of other members I don’t plan on being in a space that encourages that kind of behavior towards children. I’ll probably make a ticket about it and that’s that, honestly.

I hope you don’t stay any longer than you have to, that place is just a cesspool of toxic positivity. Good luck in there bud 🫡 you’re so much braver than I am. I never really looked at this blog until recently but you seem pretty chill so you’re cool in my book!

post related

omg im having my “senpai noticed me” moment lmao

glad youre taking the initiative to gtfo, it just sucks how that shows more evidence that the terra server is not an environment conducive to critique or serious discussion whatsoever.

the nsfw/suggestive “jokes” have apparently been a continued issue just going based off the stuff i get in my inbox, and mods dont seem to give a fuck since theyre all around 18-20 themselves and dont have the foresight to see how there is true danger in things they think is no big deal.

and actually i wanna elaborate on my issues with mods being so young; when youre a very young “adult” yourself (adult in quotes because imo 18 is only adult in legal terms and most 18-year-olds do NOT have the level of maturity that comes with the title of adult, something amazingly exemplified in the terra server) you kind of blur the lines on minor and adult. what i mean by this is: when youre 18, you tend to think of minors as 16-17 or older teens since thats the stage you were just in, you dont really think about the 13, 14, 15 year olds being as super-young as they are because you were just in high school with some of them. because of this theyll brush more things off as “not a big deal” because, hey, i would make jokes like that with my friends in high school, its not that bad. they dont really realize the different dynamics there are when its online, and just how bad it ACTUALLY is. again, it goes back to that immaturity thing. (theres also something to be said about the way that 17 year olds online are really infantilized while 18 year olds online are treated as just as mature as older adults, AND theres something to be said about the way 18 year olds are constantly pushed into believing theyre more mature especially in art and furry spaces by beginning to create and post NSFW the SECOND they turn 18, but thats a whole nother can of worms)

anyways, maturity rant aside and back to the actual topic of the ask, i appreciate the kindness abt me and my blog :) i plan to stick around in terras because i love watching a trainwreck, but if push comes to shove ill start disconnecting myself from it again.

[sunsetofdoom]

I posted 2,587 times in 2022

43 posts created (2%)

2,544 posts reblogged (98%)

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I tagged 1,186 of my posts in 2022

#our flag means death - 461 posts

#hzd - 38 posts

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#blackbonnet - 8 posts

Longest Tag: 121 characters

#aloy is like 'well i could proceed with saving the world. or' and lists off all the sidequests she could be doing instead

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Finally finished a fic for once in my life! You know how everyone makes “Avad gets pegged” jokes? Y’all better put your money where your fucking mouth is.

Let Her Be Soft, And Let Her Be Mine

title from this poem, swapped pronouns

It almost hurt to think about- probing the barriers he put up in his thoughts, not letting himself dwell on his trivial love affair when there were so many more important things to worry about. But Ersa was right there, the memory of her vibrant and shining. The lines on her skin, sun-darkened wherever her armor didn’t protect her and pale where it did, the calluses on her hands, the steadying way she touched him. Her scars- he’d spent ages over the years mapping them with his hands, his mouth; the whip marks on her back, the slave-brand on her shoulder, pockmarks on her thigh where the sparks of an explosion had caught her. The way she blushed, up to her ears and halfway down her chest, when he kissed every one like they were precious. She never made a sound- they had to be so careful- but often tangled her hand into his hair as her breathing deepened and stuttered. Always caught off-guard by his affection.

38 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

#4

it’s About the inherent eroticism of the title “Captain”

54 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#3

everybody knows cats are witches

(a continuation of the daemon AU I started here, though really all the context you should need, even if you don’t know the general concept, is that Stede’s familiar is a golden retriever)

-

“It’s quite ridiculous,” Stede complained. His teacup sloshed in his hand, half-forgotten as he gestured. “Half my crew honestly thinks you’re a witch! This can’t just be Blackbeard’s fearsome reputation, Ed. Really, what have you done to them?”

Ed narrowed his eyes, a familiar smile twisting the shaggy beard, and said, “Come with us.”

Curious, Stede did, settling the teacup back in its saucer and rising to follow with Polly clicking gaily along at his heels. Likewise, Asher padded down the hall in front of Ed, a bit further away than would be comfortable for Stede and Polly; they seemed to have a longer range they could inhabit before the symptoms of human and daemon separation, a tight chest and emotional distress, began to plague them. Ash held his black tail high as he sauntered coolly over the mahogany floors, the very tip flicking back and forth with princely pride. At the end of the hall he jumped up onto the railing of the stairs, perching with all four of his paws in a straight line, and Ed gestured Stede and Polly up the stairs ahead of him.

When they were halfway up the staircase, he flickered his half-gloved fingers in a quiet good-bye. He stayed standing at the base of the stairs, and Asher continued his way up the banister, unconcerned with the distance they were putting between themselves.

Polly froze, her tail tucking between her legs. “Ed...”

He waved goodbye more emphatically, sauntering away in his big enormous boots with his hands on his hips. He was almost ten entire feet from his daemon, and even looking at him made Stede’s chest feel tight with sympathetic pain.

“Come on, then,” Asher drawled from the top of the stairs, rising up onto the decks, his dark fur catching the sunlight. “We don’t have all day.”

With one more nervous flick of his eyes to Ed’s retreating back, Stede followed.

Emerging above-decks was still a novelty, after all this time. The wind, the sunlight hammering down, the salt in the air catching on the back of his tongue- it was overwhelming and beautiful and terrifying. Polly shook her head, golden fur flying, and let her tongue hang out as she panted with an enormous doggy grin.

In front of them was Asher, intimately familiar- his dusty black fur, his scarred, torn ears, the ready-to-pounce tension of him even as he groomed himself meticulously. His tail swished back and forth against the wood of the deck, and he looked as though the entire world would wait until he was done cleaning himself- exactly like Ed, that absolute confidence in his own ridiculousness right up until the flash of claws the second they felt ridiculous.

Except Ed wasn’t there.

“Ash!” The deck tilting like he might be sick, Stede grabbed onto Polly, fisting his hand in her fur. Like their closeness could make up for Ed and Asher’s distance. He couldn’t quite tell if he or Polly had said Asher’s name; perhaps it was both of them at once.

Ash licked his paw, scrubbing furiously at the graying jowls of his face, appearing totally at ease. Alone. Oh, God, he was alone, with no human being to lean against or depend on, a thing of horror and revulsion like a human without a head. One of his ragged black ears twitched, and he stopped abruptly, put his paw down, and trotted away.

Stede pulled himself up by the banister, and followed, his face screwed up in concentration and worry.

The upper deck was empty at the moment, Izzy and Buttons both apparently busy elsewhere, so there was no one to scream or faint at the sight of a daemon with no human- all the more terrifying and unnatural for Asher’s nonchalance. Seemingly without rhyme or reason, Ash sat down in the middle of the deck, his tail curling around his paws until he looked like a statuette. 

Dizzy, Stede leaned on Polly where she was a solid weight against his thigh. Where was Ed? Was he alright, was this hurting him? They ought to have been doubled over in pain, their bond stretched too far for anything but crumpling up into a ball of agony and grief. He looked out past Asher and onto the sea to the south, the expanse of blue sky, and wondered if this was the same scene Ed could see, out of the window of the cabin...

The cabin which was right beneath the deck.

Ash stared up at them, green eyes pinprick-small in the bright daylight, and blinked slowly.

“But you’re not far from him at all,” Stede said out loud, for Polly’s benefit; she was still held tense against his leg. “He’s just in the cabin below. You’re still within range.”

A pleased, husky trill quivered in Ash’s throat, and he stretched out of his picture-perfect pose to trot over and touch noses with Polly. She whined with relief, nuzzling him as his battle-scarred head bumped up against her muzzle.

“See?,” he said, his silky-dark voice wry and amused. He turned, brushing Polly’s nose just barely with the tip of his tail as he walked away. “Scares the shit out of people.”

“Hey, boss?” As if to demonstrate, Frenchie pounded his way up the stairs, sugar glider daemon riding on his shoulder. Technically, crewmen weren’t allowed on the upper deck without an invitation from the captain or mates; such a rule had never been something Stede enforced, though at the moment he rather wished he had.

Catching sight of the lonely black cat daemon, Frenchie froze, his eyes enormous. The sugar glider squeaked, scurrying up into his hair and hiding on top of his head, shaking all over.

Asher saw the twitchy rodent movement and his green eyes dilated. A throaty noise burbled from him as he crouched down, tail lashing and claws digging into the deck, ready to pounce.

Frenchie screamed. Not bothering with the stairs, he vaulted over the railing and fell the full ten feet to the lower deck.

Shouting, Stede rushed to the rail to make sure he was alright, Polly barking in distress at his heels. Frenchie seemed to have caught himself on a pile of boxes, and was struggling to get out of the one he’d broken, stuck in what appeared to be a pile of spare sewing rags from their flag contest that absolutely no one had bothered to put away. He was tangled in scraps of fabric and trying to fight his way free, still squeaking with panic, and right on comedic cue the sugar glider sailed in her small downward spiral and landed spread-eagled on his face.

Straining forward, Ash craned his neck and tilted his head, trying to see- he must have hit the edges of his and Edward’s range, what a relief to see that they had one- and began to laugh.

See the full post

79 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

#2

not one hair of you would I rearrange

“Who named you?” Ed asked, mumbling around the end of the pipe in his mouth. “Never met a nob that’d name their kids’ daemon something s’common as Polly.” Nobs always had long daemon names, the very devil to pronounce and never worth remembering, and they were always out of some book or play that no one in their right mind had ever heard of.

“Ah,” Stede said, looking a little bashful as he put his bookmark between the pages, Polly a liquid lump of dog where she was lying on his slippers. Before them, the fire roared, leaving the cabin an oasis of cozy warmth among the old, comforting sounds of the waves against the hull. “It is, I’m afraid, a short form- her name is Polyhymnia. For one of the Greek muses, I believe.”

“I like Polly better,” she murmured from the floor, her normally-cheerful voice subdued and relaxed from the heat of the fire, and Stede leaned down to ruffle the long, golden hair around her ears. Her coat matched perfectly to his blond hair, and she looked clean and soft and rumpled, just like Stede in his dressing-gown.

“And you?” He asked politely, sitting back up. “Why Asher?”

Asher, taking up space on Ed’s chest, heaved a toothy yawn. He matched Ed the same way- midnight-black in their youth, he had faded over the years to the color of stormclouds on the horizon, fur going gray towards the jowled sides of his face. A thick, ragged tomcat with one ripped-up ear and singed whiskers, he’d left scars on the noses of daemons from here to High Brazil.

“Dunno,” he replied, his voice as low and dark as the voice in the back of Edward’s head that told him when everything was about to go to shit. “Biblical, maybe.”

“Mum was a God-botherer,” Ed agreed, drawing on his pipe and letting the smoke flow away with the words. Stede was the first person he’d spoken to about his mother in more than twenty years.

Stede pursed his lips, brow furrowing as he looked at his bookshelf like the answer was to be found there; Ed wondered if he had a Bible somewhere in those unreadable shelves, just for the sake of having it. That seemed like the sort of thing Stede would do, even if he never said a word about God either way.

“Genesis,” Polly contributed from the floor. “Jacob’s son,”

“Joseph’s brother! Yes,” Stede completed her sentence like always, snapping his fingers. “Sold his younger brother into slavery for spite and jealousy... something of a, er, despicable character.” He leveled Ed with a look that was somehow both fond and guilty.

“That’s us,” Asher stretched out his claws, clinking them against the wood of the pipe with the absolute confidence of an animal who never gave a single damn about being a nuisance. “Despicable all over.”

His weight on Ed’s chest was unfamiliar. They spent twenty years stretching their range, step by step and month by month, slowly gouging out space in their heart-deep bond that let Ash perch above-decks even when Blackbeard was ensconced away in the cabin, scaring the absolute pants off of the crew. The throaty pang of grief and pain in his chest was a constant, and its removal left him feeling almost weightless.

Ever since Stede had come into their lives, Asher circled closer and closer, both of them falling helplessly into his orbit. Ed took tea with him. Ash left dead rats at his doorstep. Edward taught him sword tricks in the dead of night while Asher and Polly play-fought at their feet, Ash rolling on his back and inviting a dog three times his size to snap at his belly.

And now Asher was lying on top of him, self-satisfied as a housecat. He wasn’t even keeping watch.

“When’d you settle?” Ed asked. Their silences were comfortable, but God almighty there was so much he wanted to know about Stede Bonnet, how in the Hell he’d ended up here, at sea in general and within arms’ reach in particular.

Sighing, Stede ran his bookmark over the edges of his fingers; Ed had felt less guilt about cutting mens’ hands off than he did for keeping Stede from his peaceful reading. “I was fourteen,” he said with a soft regret. “It was just before we left school- that school, at least. It inspired as much mockery as anything we did.” He glanced up, his eyes glinting in the fire-light. “A dog, you know- servants’ animals.” He took on a ridiculous and terrible approximation of those fickle Frenchmen, leveling the insult at him.

“Fucking cunts,” Ed said mildly.

Shrugging with faint agreement, Stede smiled in that soft, sad way that made Edward want to fold him up and protect him from the world.

He stretched out to kick his boots up onto the arm of the sofa, jostling Asher, who glared at him with one poison-green eye. “We settled young,” he said, trying to distract Stede from whatever recollection he’d fallen into. “Before any of the other kids, at least. My dad said I was a fucking witch.” Aside from telling that stupid fucking Kraken story, he hadn’t spoken about his father in decades, either.

“Very witchy animal, a black cat,” Stede concurred, smiling at Ash, who preened. Nobody else would’ve thought it, from Blackbeard’s ghoul of a familiar, but Ed knew him from the torn tips of his ears to the pads of his little asshole feet, and Asher was glowing with attention. “Really quite frightening. My peers, though, quickly deduced that Polly was no threat.”

Ed turned over on his elbow, shoving Ash when his tail dropped down in front of his eyes. Polly, in her place in front of the fire, was an average-sized, heavyset dog with clear eyes and strong legs; her constant, dopey smile obscured the fact that she was mouth-focused and picked up or bit everything in sight, and she went to point whenever Stede showed interest in anything. She was almost as attentive to the scrape of a rat in the ship as Asher, and he’d been a ratter his whole alley-cat life. “She’s got to be a hunting breed, though,” he said.

Stede shrugged again. “Perhaps,” he allowed. “My father, though, bred hunting dogs his whole life long, and he could make neither hide nor hair of her.” His tone said quite well that his father had been just as baffled by Stede himself.

Polly shifted, going from her inelegant splay across Stede’s feet to a tight ball on the rug, her enormous tail- so furry that it flapped like a fan when she wagged it- slapping down tight over the tip of her nose. Duly curled up, she heaved a woebegone sigh.

With a splay of his claws calculated to land right on Ed’s bare arm, Asher stretched luxuriously. In a show of nonchalance, he sat up, shook his head, cleaned his face, and with a clink of his claws against the buckles of Ed’s jacket, leapt to the floor.

“Fucking ow,” Ed muttered, rubbing his fingers along the small puncture wounds on his bicep, Asher’s asshole love-notes a lifelong sensation.

Asher padded over to Polly where she was curled up, plopped his enormous black backside next to her, and set his head on her shoulders. The rest of his body followed like water being poured into a shaped glass, drooping contentedly to the floor with the peculiar grace of a cat who was exactly where he wanted to be.

The silence settled into comfort, mood returning to contented laziness as Ed watched his daemon’s chest rise and fall as he breathed. Jesus fucking wept, how long had it been since that cat touched another daemon in something other than violence? Decades. More, probably. Asher regularly stalked and threatened Izzy’s kestrel daemon, knocking her from her perches around the ship; anything smaller than a bear was fair game for menacing, really. He’d even once managed to get a solid strike on Fang’s enormous golden eagle, clawing his way up into the rigging to drop down onto her back and pin her to the deck when she fell, snapping one of her strong wings with a noise like a dry branch.

And here he was snuggled up against a kennel-club, blue-ribbon princess of a dog, her angelic curls sparkling beside his patchy, dusty, ragged black fur.

“Ed,” Stede said into his book, and his head turned so fast it hurt, “forgive me if I’m being forward. But since we’re speaking of it...”

See the full post

110 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

so unfortunately for you all the above post inspired a daemons AU for these idiots

“Who named you?” Ed asked, mumbling around the end of the pipe in his mouth. “Never met a nob that’d name their kids’ daemon something s’common as Polly.” Nobs always had long daemon names, the very devil to pronounce and never worth remembering, and they were always out of some book or play that no one in their right mind had ever heard of.

“Ah,” Stede said, looking a little bashful as he put his bookmark between the pages, Polly a liquid lump of dog where she was lying on his slippers. Before them, the fire roared, leaving the cabin an oasis of cozy warmth among the old, comforting sounds of the waves against the hull. “It is, I’m afraid, a short form- her name is Polyhymnia. For one of the Greek muses, I believe.”

“I like Polly better,” she murmured from the floor, her normally-cheerful voice subdued and relaxed from the heat of the fire, and Stede leaned down to ruffle the long, golden hair around her ears. Her coat matched perfectly to his blond hair, and she looked clean and soft and rumpled, just like Stede in his dressing-gown.

“And you?” He asked politely, sitting back up. “Why Asher?”

Ash, taking up space on Ed’s chest, heaved a toothy yawn. He matched Ed the same way- midnight-black in their youth, he had faded over the years to the color of stormclouds on the horizon, fur going gray towards the jowled sides of his face. A thick, ragged tomcat with one ripped-up ear and singed whiskers, he’d left scars on the noses of daemons from here to High Brazil.

“Dunno,” he replied, his voice as low and dark as the voice in the back of Edward’s head that told him when everything was about to go to shit. “Biblical, maybe.”

“Mum was a God-botherer,” Ed agreed, drawing on his pipe and letting the smoke flow away with the words.

318 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hex-catcher-jacket]

I posted 171 times in 2022

That's 171 more posts than 2021!

12 posts created (7%)

159 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@aerial-aceing-it

@eight-region-army

@cheri-berry-boy

@casseroyaltea

@friendball-irl

I tagged 129 of my posts in 2022

Only 25% of my posts had no tags

#unreality - 64 posts

#pokemon irl - 61 posts

#pokemon rp - 52 posts

#in character - 14 posts

#pokemon - 4 posts

#goncharov - 3 posts

#ask games - 3 posts

#see jacket make - 3 posts

#long post - 2 posts

#!!! - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#augh tell me about it. like sure they talked to folks abt their trevanant experiences but like... they did not hire a science consultant

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

[OOC: just finished scarlet maingame WHAT THE FUCK. If anyone wants to scream about it my dms are open]

4 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

Lmao back home my neighbour's surskit is trying to get to my room for skritches, my sister has had to block the stairwell off

5 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#3

have u seen those tentacool with. legs. whatever they r called. why r they sl fast.

-@aerial-aceing-it

Toedscool? Yeah, seen a few zipping around the bushes here... someone also released one in the cafeteria a few minutes ago. God knows, it's probably to avoid all of Paldea's flying types or t

5 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#2

OMG spoinktify wrapped is out yall.... and of course my top artists are Fall Out Baltoy, Parasmore, Falinksin Park,My Chimecho Romance and Wailorde

22 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Wow, I dug up this old VHS in my professor’s breakroom! Was honestly starting to think this film wasn’t real...

[Image description and cleaned-up non-gif under the cut, gif looks better when opened]

Image description: a poster advertising “Honcharov,” A pixel sprite of the pokemon Honchkrow repeatedly crows and throws back a wing against a grayscale cityscape.

The film is described as “The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made.” Its director is “Martin Scolipede” and it is “A Film by Meowtheo JWHJ0715.” Its tagline is “Winter comes to Whitestone...” The film is a “Domencio Procacturne Production.” The title, production line, and tagline are in red.

At the bottom of the poster the production information reads: “ROBERT DE SPEAROW as “Honcharov”; AL CINCCINO as “Marill Ambrosini”; HARVEY WATTREL as “Andrey “The Baker” Daddano”; GENESECT HACKMAN as “Valery Huntail”; JOHN CAZACIAN as “Joseph “Ice Shard Joe” Morelli”; AND PSYBILL SHEPHERD as “Cattya.”

“Written by MEOWTHEO JWHJ0715; Produced by DOMENICO PROCACTURNE; Directed by MARTIN SCOLIPEDE; Production Services by HXCJKT.”

The film is rated R for Restricted.

See the full post

85 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[syrinq]

sy's fun list of petty spite things for the most irrelevant shit in the world ever

i love being a picky hater and tuning things to meet my tastes a 100%. also making lists is fun

1) one of the first ever instances of me being picky as shit, is me individually handpicking textures from ~10 minecraft packs to merge them into my own custom one. this was so i'd like ALL textures and not be bothered by the majority of birch textures

I Would Be Nothing Without My Birch

2) another minecraft example is me at age 13 modifying and adding about 600+ skins to personalise my minecraft comes alive mod. because i LOATHED seeing the same skin for every guard in every village i'd encounter time and time again

3) reinstalling my entire sims 3 folder every few years or so, to once again have a hopeless attempt at running it smoothly. then realising the sims 3 camera just fucking sucks and everything else is mostly fine once optimised through bazillions of config edits and mods. also spending 4329320934820 years on sims resource and scouring tumblr blogs to find the most nichest and funniest types of custom content, resulting in 5gb of merged content. because merging packages is your best friend.

4) following an extremely particular naming + sorting structure for my folders, files, art wips, and so on and so forth. so it's all Cohesive And Good. if i catch myself misusing ONE single symbol or capital letter I Will Scream. downloads are never to be grouped by date. old-fashioned alphabet sorting my beloved

5) as a continuation to refine 4 further, currently i'm editing custom .ico files for my folders, because for some reason picked thumbnails from files-within-the-folder never stick. fuck you windows 10. I Will Circumvent Your Shitty Ways By Being Extremely Petty And Going Through Efforts Like These To Make Everything Cohesive And Nice For Myself. I Work On Visuals, Baby!

look at this. This Fucks

6) in this house we sort by 'the' and 'a' and similar title prefixes. no, i don't care i'll have a million names starting with 'the', IT STARTS WITH 'THE' SO IT'S INCLUDED FOR SORTING. one of the biggest reasons i hate the steam library sorting, because for some reason 'the' & whatever's included in the screenshot page. this makes 0 sense to me.

7) currently i'm also reigniting my love for character design and I WILL design these .png beasts as i and only i desire and not cater to whatever furries are popular right now. fuck the 'less is more' shit I'M SLAPPING PATTERNS ON THESE BEASTS

8) switched to android, because the biggest dealbreaker (besides iOS being shit generally) was the fact that iOS made song album art 1px by 1px on the home screen & that utterly devastated me. HOW ELSE AM I TO LOOK AT GOOD ART AND SEE WHAT SONG I'M LISTENING TO

This Should Be Illegal + I Only Stayed With The Brand Because I Was Already Used To It + Lame

9) I WILL revert your shitty border-radius images back to square. we LOVE EM POINTY, BOYS

10) changed default samsung keyboard to gboard, because the location of special symbols on the former annoyed the Shit Out Of Me. It Is So Unnaturelle. also gboard comes in cool colours that are unobtrusive enough to use

My Beloved Gradient

11) i will kill off whatever lore is canon if i make an oc based on some franchise. i will put a new jacket on them and suck them by vacuum into my own ocverse. because fuck them mafia hunting some 10-yo's electric mouse for sport

12) in 99.9% of cases ips, fics, whatever exists, always has something that irks me. i will crack my own knuckles and bend the ip so bad in my own files for my own entertainment

13) when a (prime) warframe's default skin is so god fucking awful to look at, 'cause of all the normal tex lines, I WILL put on a skin that's easier on the eyes. because fuck them details. fuck details in general btw i hate 4328943032 ornaments accessories etc

14) i will go out of my way where possible & fitting, to mod in an armour mod so my game protagonist can always be Cool & Unperceivable. because fuck them humans in fictional settings. fuck them relatable moments. i refuse to be a woman in monster hunter unless i can wear male armour without the need to show off my tits or anime-esque face. thanks

15) i will forever be a :P and :D and :] girlie. i Refuse to use emojis Unironically in 90% of cases. the remaining 10% of cases is using 😊 to convey gratitude to a boomer through text messages so i can be understood better. i'd rather unironically use the horrific lenny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) than stoop as low as 🥺

16) i used to type 'you' as 'u' circa 2016 and something inside me viscerally dies, whenever i witness another using it. especially in a serious convo context or they do pull some confession or whatever. in this case it's none of my biz tho so who care

17) shit like the fibonacci sequence can sound fancy and like some delicious pasta, but i will refuse to use it. ever. you'll catch me dead before i'll utilise the golden ratio in stuff like artworks to ''make a cooler composition'' or whatever other bullshit effect it theoretically emits. you'll catch me dead calling an important game location a weenie, just because that's somehow a term introduced in fun park design & it was used to link to game design. a fucking WEENIE. fucking wieners.

STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU SINNER

18) anyone who made a significant change in their lives, without being educated on it or prep as much as possible, eg. getting a shit-breather of a persian cat, immediately gets -100 relationship and -100 morality points with me but i'll never ever mention this. fuck you and your untaught swine ass prioritising cutesy bullshit above health

19) besides common courtesy 'n all that, a huge deal breaker for any housemate, is eating microwaved ready meal pasta. especially if it's got cheese in it. that shit reeks worse than whatever i shit out during my period, and it goes as far as the bahamas. use microwaved rice instead god fucking damn. EVEN SEAFOOD IS BETTER

20) i will Absolutely Not stand on a damp bathroom mat that was made damp by someone else. that shit is Disgusting. same goes for warm toilet seats besides the stank, after someone took a wicked shit. I Need To Wait At Least 15 Minutes To Ensure Stank Gone.

21) i always liked seeing the offspring of my flight rising but despised clicking through 84920328032 names in offspring lists. my solution? like most in the excel sheet fandom, i made a personal database that lists visuals of every. single. dragon. i've hatched. as well as another database that keeps track of lineages in a visual family tree. these things are several years old and still going and I Am Unironically Actually Obsessed With This

22) using surtitles (above text) to caption media is a Sin. i will break into your house and exterminate your ass. subtitles are Neatest below the media, in the Center. As It Should Be For Bottoms. i also despise subtitles moved below the character that says it, but this can stay as it's easier for the deaf and whatever. either way I Will Break Your Media by moving the subs or completely turning them off. Fuck You.

23) uneven numbers are far more superior than even numbers and it's a Great Bonus point when lists end on uneven numbers. hell yeah brother. bye

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. CXXIII

It was a love story from the very beginning

Missing Each Other

(15x06/15x07/15x08)

Hello my friends! We are still walking over the last Destiel breakup. I'm gonna talk in this meta about how they miss each other even when they're mad at each other. Because they're two dumbasses in love.

Remember this is a summary from my season 15 metas. You can find all the links from these episodes here: X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X, X and X.

Come Back Home

Previous episode we saw a visual reference that linked Dean with a fish. Now in episode 15x06 we have Castiel trying to catch a (hard) fish and walking around a fishing ship, mentioning Dean to let us know, the symbolism about that sneaking fish. Castiel misses him.

Another important visual element in this episode was the lady reading a book that pictures the Destiel breakup we are witnessing and writers are making it one of the centric topics.

I'm talking about the Destiel color coded lady, with a hint of pink (happiness)...

...reading a novel titled: "Lovers Quarrel".

An now, let's talk about the awkward Destiel phonecall.

Let me tell you that Dean didn't have to ask to talk with Castiel when he was speaking with the sheriff, but he did it anyway. Why? Because he missed Castiel.

Even so, he won't recognize it. Because he is still mad, and Castiel is still mad, then why is Dean asking for him?

Because he needed to scold him about not answering Sam's messages. Because Sam is messaging him, but Dean is not.

And then...

Look at this:

DEAN: Would you put my agent on the phone, please?

He can't lose the opportunity to talk with Cas.

SHERIFF ROY [handing the phone to Cas]: He wants to talk to you.

CASTIEL: Hello?

He wasn't happy about it, at all. As a parallel with that phonecall in season 14, in which Castiel said it was good to hear Dean's voice, this time it isn't.

DEAN: Cas. Sam's been trying to call you.

CASTIEL: I know.

DEAN: Did you check his messages?

CASTIEL: Nope.

Dean is behaving very childish here, and Castiel isn't checking the Winchester's messages, because he really wanted to move on from them, from Dean.

DEAN: Right. Smart. Why would you? Look, I don't know if you care or not, but, uh... God... Chuck... is back on the board, so watch yourself. And check your damn messages.

After this, Dean suddenly cut the call, and Castiel looks very upset about that. But thing about these words Dean told him has a hidden message:

And then... "Chuck is back in the game." Is the same as if Dean wanted to say HEY CAS YOU LEFT BECAUSE CHUCK WAS GONE, WELL, HE IS BACK, SO... YOU HAVE TO COME BACK BECAUSE CHUCK IS BACK. NOT BECAUSE I'M MISSING YOU SO MUCH AND I'M SO DEPRESSED SINCE YOU LEFT, BUT BECAUSE CHUCK IS BACK.

That's so Dean, right?

A miscellaneous point I repeated so many times in all my metas from this season was, Castieo was related to people dressing green and pink and Dean with people dressing blue and pink: THIS IS BECAUSE THEY'RE EACH OTHER'S HAPPINESS.

Another symbolic reference, this time related to Dean's behavior, it's the following piece of dialogue between Dean and Sam at the beginning of the scene:

DEAN: You know they still put, um, jokes on the backs of these things. Listen to this one... What's round and bad-tempered? "A vicious circle." (...)

This is self referencing over here, my friends, because is talking about how Dean is stuck in his toxicity, and his way to "solve" his problems and repress his feelings m is a vicious circle that never ends, and he's playing in the same line, and lying to himself. The bad temper, is a reflection of Toxic Dean, and he's trapped in this vicious circle, and he needs to MOVE ON to make things changing.

And because we had people moving in this episode, it's another symbolic analogy to what Dean must do to grow up.

Bi!Dean episode and Dean's attempt to fix things with Castiel

Episode 15x07 was full of Bi!Dean subtext.

Dean is praised by a male sheriff, and we had a waitress flirting with him. And Dean rejecting her all the time. Why? Because he behaves as a married guy, married with Castiel, if you know what I mean.

We had the whole bi flag lighting when Dean was singing on the stage, and this whole sexual tension with his old friend, Castiel's mirror.

Jumping from Bi!Dean to the Destiel breakup, we had this symbolic dialogue:

When Dean found the girl at the bar, he interrogates her, but Lee, his friend, called him, and the words he says: "She went without saying goodbye?" "Well, maybe she deserved it."

This was related to episode 15x03 when Castiel walked away from Dean. It felt as if he didn't say goodbye to Dean, 'but maybe Dean deserved it.'

Keeping the drama here, we had Castiel calling Dean the whole episode and Dean not answering the phone.

Castiel came back to the bunker because he had a plan, but when things doesn't work well, he calls Dean... A lot of times. But Dean didn't answer... Just like a cheating husband. Cas lost his temper and he even shouts WHERE ARE YOU!? At the phone.

Avoiding the whole Swayze's Bar and Rocky's Bar parallels you can find in my meta link on the top of this analysis, let's just go to the 'Lovers Quarrel scene and enjoy the failed attempt from Dean to fix things with Cas... à la Dean.

Gift credit @agusvedder

When Dean appeared at the bunker, Castiel's face is about surprise, relief, and a hint of heart eyes, Dean is acting as if nothing had happened between them, just like I expected to occur, because is his way to avoid things. But this time it won't work, because CAS recalls immediately Dean's hard words and the last call, and he recalls that THEY DIDN'T PART FRIENDS (this quote from episode 7x17 when they came back to see each other after the break up in season 6).

That's why I said Dean is trying to fix things à la Dean here, just acting as if nothing happened. It's the coward way to try to approach the love of your life.

Awkward, horrible and wonderful, Awkward silence. The romantic tension here! Even my dog saw it. This was deliberately written and performing to show what it is: ROMANTIC TENSION.

This was gold... because Dean's face is yelling: Uh, oh, wait, don't go, we still can chat a little... oh wait, right. Things are still bad... got it.

So, Cas changed his face, and he just threw a few words, and leaves, quickly. Dean senses this, and he just grimaced, okay... What did you expect, Dean? Things are not good. You need to use your words!

Imagine their hearts running fast, dry mouth, knowing they love each other so much and they missed each other so much. They're finally in the same room, but things are not good. Castiel is very hurt and Dean can't spell the magic words.

And now, it his wasn't enough Destiel pining for you... we had this last scene:

Gifset credit @agusvedder

Dean stares at Castiel, and Castiel feels that look, but he didn't look back at Dean. This is because Castiel is trying to show Dean how much he hurted him. The Destiel eye-fuck/eye-love making has been always their way of intimate communication. Well. Castiel cut it off here. Just like Dean did with that phonecall.

Time to Fix things. Time for Purgatory 2.0

The whole episode 15x08 showed how broken were Destiel. Dean and Castiel were shown in divided, separated, in all the frames.

We also had this...

Gif credit @agusvedder

Castiel didn't touch Dean to heal him FOR THE FIRST TIME. This scene was very meaningful to show things are not good.

We also had the scene with Rowena, in which they were sitting far away from each other, another empty seat in the middle, and Rowena noticing this, and obviously, giving that married couple a good speech. Almost yelling at them to fix their mess.

So, if Dean and Castiel had to fix their relationship, what better than go to Purgatory again. The place where Dean realized he was in love with Castiel. Because it was pure, and his feelings and thoughts alined into one spot: THE LOVE HE FEELS FOR THAT ANGEL.

After this scene, Dean and Castiel spoke with Michael, and did you know what Michael says in one of his lines?:

ADAM: What about 'I'm sorry'?

LEGENDARY MY FRIENDS! The whole Universe was yelling at Dean to use his words and ask for forgiveness to his angel, to fix things with him. That's why karma sent them back to Purgatory.

Miscellaneous: two things I want to point about Saileen: they were mirroring Destiel the whole time, even the goodbye scene and even Dean calling Eileen as the hot woman perfect for Sam, that understands him, it was a reference to Castiel, the perfect man for Dean, that understands him and is pretty hot.

Second is the fact that Castiel cockblocked Sam and Eileen. Again, karma. 🤣

To Conclude:

The 'Lovers Quarrel' was shown in the show as one of the centric topics. GA could see and be aware of the ROMANTIC TENSION between these two.

But don't worry, the breakup is coming to it's end in the next episode. One of the most beautiful Destiel scenes, and is happening in Purgatory of love 2.0.

I hope you liked this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @dizzypinwheel @horsez2002 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @belacoded @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @deancasgirl777

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 15, here you have the links:

Vol. CXXI, CXXII.

Buenos Aires, July 25th 2021 12:47 PM

[syrenki]

for the album asks: lanas "ultraviolence" and sky ferreiras "night time, my time"

oooh, thank you anon!! okay, i'm gonna be honest with you, i only know the title track from sky ferreira. i love it though, i really do, it's glorious. and hey, since you asked this, i'm guessing the whole album is worth listening to, right? thank you for the rec, i'll educate myself on her, hahah

and when it comes to lana, oh man. let's go. i'll actually go least to most favourite, it feels more exciting this way, tbh. so:

14. guns and roses, obviously. it's a shockingly unremarkable track for such a remarkable album, isn't it? just so... bland, frankly.

13. the other woman and yeah, okay, it kind of hurts to put this as my second most disliked song, because it's really good! it just doesn't hit all the right spots for me, i think, quite like the rest of ultraviolence does.

12. florida kilos, it's very sweet and summery! i don't think that i'm very obsessed with it, though. i think she has a lot of tracks that taste ripe like july too, but are more... unique - say 1949 or even the newer doin' time.

11. fucked my way up to the top - well, what can i say, it's sexy. and i love the trance-like feel it has going on. not one of my faves, but yeah, i'm putting it above the other woman and florida kilos because it sets a very... hmm. specific mood, if ykwim.

10. black beauty. it's funny, i actually mostly listened to a different version of it that i downloaded to my mp3 player years ago, only to discover that the real, officially released one sounds completely different now that i regularly use spotify. i do love the lyrics on this one, though. i used to listen to it so, so much in 2016 or 2017, i think!

9. ultraviolence - she was the moment, she was nicole before nicole, huh? i love the dreamy edgyness in this one! it actually took me a long time to warm up to ultraviolence, despite it being the title track, but as soon as i did, i fell in love. i love the wordplay, she really knew what she was doing with the name of this album.

8. money, power, glory - i could have never suspected that i'd put this over black beauty back in middle school, but at this point? yeah. i actually don't care much for the lyrics, as i'm not the type of person to strive for luxury a lot - you can call it being non-superficial, or maybe a lack of ambition, or lazyness. yeah, lmao. what i love most about this song is just the sheer sound of it, the drums, her voice in the ,,glory!" part, the ,,hallelujahs" - it's all so... orgasmic. plus the high pitched ,,i can do it if you really really like it" with the slowed guitar riff in the background completely sells me on this song.

7. brooklyn baby - i mean, what is there to explain. it's just brooklyn baby, you know? yeah, my girlfriend's pretty cool, but she's not as cool as me. i think it's a little bit too cute and positive for the edgy fucker that i am, otherwise, quality-wise, it could very well be in the top 3.

6. sad girl - it's sweet, it's edgy, it's kinda emo. a love child of pretty when you cry and brooklyn baby, i guess. it's not a masterpiece, but i'm putting it pretty high up the list simply for the ,,he's got the fiiiireee!" part and my own personal feelings for this song, yk? oh well, it's my ranking after all, and i can be as subjective as i please. ♡

5. shades of cool - it's just so good! yes, my baby sure does live in shades of blue! some really similar dynamics to black beauty, and again, god, just a year or two ago i would probably say this was my fave, or at least one of my faves, now i think my love for old money and cruel world has outgrown it, though. it really reminds me of dark blue, indigo and violet hues, you know? it's ultraviolet after all, i guess. the vocals in that instrumental bridge kill me every time in the sweetest of ways.

4. cruel world - man oh man, i would eat this if i could. i would drink it, or put this song into a heart-shaped locket to wear on my neck at all times. it's so unbelievably dreamy, and sexy, and the line about being happy that they're gone hits so hard out of nowhere in the context of the song, for some reason it sounds more like she's singing about someone's death rather than simply them not being a part of her life anymore. i got your bible, i got your gun, and i'm so happy now that you're gone. god. wow. some fatherhood themes for sure. i'm not entirely certain why, that's just how i feel it.

3. west coast. what can i say? newer lana is cool, but she wants what west-coast-ultraviolence-lana had. the tempo change every time she gets to ,,i can see my baby swinging", have you actually noticed how much slower the song gets? and those few guitar notes right before this line. agh, it makes me feel so strangely heartbroken for a love i never had. maybe it's because of this world heritage romeo+juliet music video, though. i can't really think of anything else now when i listen to west coast. oh, and also, i never thought a sexy, playful song like froot would work so well with the moody west coast, but it really, really does.

2. old money - look, this is a personal one. i know it's nowhere near as iconic as brooklyn baby or west coast or anything, but i can't tell you how bittersweet this song is to me, personally. one of the first songs i even know from lana. i used to listen to it at 13, laying in my bed at 3am, drinking some oversweetened coffee, reading about sigils or whatever the hell. some blog on here had an audio player built into its html and i remember, it played this song, among others. i spent weeks searching for it. it sounds like peaceful, quiet tragedy. the calm, almost resigned sound of it sends me right back to those spring nights. always, always.

1. pretty when you cry, judge me how you will for this choice. there's something so utterly exsquisite and heartbreaking about this song, it reaches into you and tugs at your heart with its bony cold hands. i cannot praise it enough, ever. even if it's fully because of my own associations and memories. i always come back to it. i used to cry to it when i lost the person that my 'and winters here are eternal' tag is about. there's just... god, there's something about this song. and also, hey, i really am pretty when i cry.

thank you for the ask and i'm sorry for getting so in-depth and, hm, suddenly writing in a weirdly pretentious way. that's just what lana does to you://

[iamwhoiamtmblr]

Title: Remember Who You Are

Story Rating: Chapter 14  18+ ONLY!!

Warnings:  Oral Sex (Both partners), Intercourse swearing. 

Relationships:  Nomad Steve Rogers x Reader; Steve Rogers x Reader; Dark Steve Rogers x Reader

Master List - Link to Other Chapters

New Mood-board for the series. (Captain America photos property of Marvel)

Chapter Note: This chapter was originally 600 words. It’s now over 2200. I wanted to make sure I captured the moment properly. Feedback and Re-blogs are welcome. 😃

***My work is to not be posted on any other site without my permission. If you see it anywhere other than Tumblr please inform me*** 

Steve can’t stop thinking about you, one particular though crossed his mind. He remembers the one of the most special days of your relationship at the Cabin.  He smiles...

You and Steve have now been seeing each other for almost 3 months. You tried to hide your relationship from everyone but somehow they all knew; after all they worked for a spy agency. For the first time since you started working for SHIELD, you finally had a whole weekend off. Steve told you to prepare for a short trip but he wouldn’t tell you where you were going. As a surprise, Steve showed up in a SUV instead of his bike, picking you up at the door of your apartment building.

“Where are we going?” (You) “For a drive.” He smiles. He takes your luggage.

After about 5 hour trip, you enter what looks like a logging road. About a ½ hr drive on the dirt road, you end up at a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It looks rundown.

“Huh, who owns this cabin?” “I do. It’s my retreat, a place of solitude when I need to be alone and recharge.” Getting out of the SUV, you walk around outside. “Ha, solar panels.” You laugh. He snorts, “Yes, I do need to have electricity; I still have to be available if anything happens; you know emergencies, that sort of thing. I have cell service as there is a new tower about 40 km’s away and the ability to use my laptop.” Upon entering the cabin, it’s only 1 huge room. You were surprised at the inside. Mini fridge, sink, table, fireplace, comfy chair and a king size bed in the corner. “Wow, I love it.” You smile. “I’ll be back shortly; I need to get some firewood.” (Steve)

Smiling, you run and jump on the bed, nice and soft. “Ooommmpppfff!!” You look around the cabin, you feel at home here. Now you know why Steve likes this place. It feels cozy and comfy. You decide to go outside to help Steve. Steve continues to chop some wood and you help lugging it into the cabin. After lugging awhile, you need to go… number #1.

“Potty break! Where’s the bathroom?” “Behind the cabin.” he smirks. “Oh well… can’t have everything.” (You)

Steve laughs... 

Steve brings some more firewood into the cabin and then unloads the groceries and the luggage. He starts the fireplace, generating some heat in the cold cabin.

“It’s nice outside, do you want to go for a walk?” (You) “No, later.” (Steve, serious tone) “Awww….” (You pout)  “What do you want to do?”

He turns and intensely stares at you with no emotion on his face. He approaches you slowly, taking off his sweater and shirt throwing them on the chair. You see his broad, magnificent and sculpted chest. You see the scars from all of the missions and fights telling tales of battles. You lightly trace them with your fingers, resulting in Steve getting goose bumps from your touch.

“Wow….” You look at him with awe; handsome chiseled features, dark blonde hair and beard, broad shoulders and lots of muscles.

He wraps his arms around you and starts kissing you tenderly, then passionately. “I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.” (Steve) He kisses your tenderly on neck and face. “What are your intentions Captain America?” “Naughty ones.” he whispers. He takes off your sweater and starts to unbutton your blouse and jeans. Steve kisses your shoulder and the nape of your neck. You give a soft moan. “I want you (Y/N). I’ve wanted you for so long”.

His eyes have changed; they are filled with pure lust and raw hunger. You close your eyes as he removes your blouse and jeans. He gives a smile seeing your matching purple lacy bra and thong. His hands roam all over your back and bottom. He continues to kiss you passionately, angling your head to get deeper kisses. He holds his forehead against the top of yours  looking down at you. His breathing is ragged. He scoops you up and places you on the side of the bed. You sit up and unbutton his jeans. He smiles down at you. His erection springs from his underwear, already hard as a rock. Whoa, you think. You marvel at the size of it; will it fit?

Smiling at him, you take the initiative; you begin to lick the length of it. Steve moans. “Baby-girl.” (Baby-girl was his nickname he called you) He puts his hands on your head. “Put it in your mouth please.” “Well, since you said please.” You tease.

You lick the pre-cum off the top. You smile at him. You try to put as much it in your mouth as you can. You gently tease it with your tongue. Steve closes his eyes and groans loudly. You continue licking and sucking on it, using your hand to sheath it, moving your hand up and down. Steve continues to moan, his hands never leaving the back of your head.

“That feels so fucking awesome!”  After a few minutes - “STOP!!!” (Steve)

The volume of his voice startles you “What?” You jump and back off right away. “Did I do something wrong?” “No, you didn’t; you’re too good in fact. I don’t want to cum this way, not for our first time together. I’m too close, I need to come back down.” Steve is breathing very hard now.

Steve pushes you back on the bed, lying on your back. Moving you to the middle of the bed, he sits in front of your legs. He opens your thighs with his leg, making it very hard not to notice his erection is still there and for him, he can see the wetness in your thong. He place kisses down your body as he removes your underwear.  He takes a finger and touches your wetness between your legs, then licks your juices off his finger. “Sweet.”

He kisses your stomach down to your warm spot. He gently starts to lick your folds. You giggle. “What are you giggling for?” (Steve’s a little annoyed) “Your beard tickles”. You smile. “Tickles huh? Un huh, we’ll see about that.” Steve dives into your pussy and attacks your clit. “Aaahhh!”

His tongue starts to hit your clit hard, sucking on it. He plays with your vagina with his tongue as if it was his shaft . You moan, “Oh Steve”.

He inserts two fingers, looking for your g-spot. Your orgasm begins to swell. Three fingers… He continues his assault on your clit. You let go of his hair for fear of ripping his hair out of his head. You grasp the bed covers as it your life depended on it. You scream his name out loud. You experience your first orgasm with him and you’re already out of breath.

He moves up to you again, wiping your wetness from his beard, he begins to kiss you tenderly. You taste yourself off of his lips. You put your arms around him and lift yourself right up to his face so you can see eye to eye.

You have never wanted him badly as you do right now. You thought about having sex with him before and wondered what it would be like with a super soldier. He acted like a gentleman this entire time but little did you know he was holding back. He didn’t want to scare you off. He’s been patient, waiting for the right time. You didn’t know this animal side of Steve even existed. You want him…. you finally have the nerve to say it.

“Please Steve.” “Please what?” he looks into your eyes. “I want you inside me!” you whisper. “You want me?” You nod.

Your request was music to his ears. He was wishing/hoping you would say it; it meant to him that you want him, you need him. You lay back down and he covers you entire body with his; leaving very little room for you to move. He grasps your wrists and holds them beside your head. “Ready?” he whispers in your ear. You nod.

He lines himself up with your entrance. In one swift thrust he bottoms out. “Ooooohhhhh Steve!!” He pauses for a moment; he’s scared he hurt you. “You ok?” You nod. Your core is stretching to accommodate him. It hurt for a brief moment, buy now your body is overcome with pleasure; it’s like electricity running through your body.

He thrusts are slow and tender at first; teasing you. He smiles down at you watching the pleasure in your face. You’re eyes are closed. He’s never felt the emotions he feels right now. Watching you, he’s giving you the love and pleasure you desire, what you crave, your body craves, what you need from him and only him. Seeing your body react to him gives him the greatest joy. He knows you’re the one for him and he’s the one for you. He wants to hold onto you forever; never leaving his bed…..our bed.

You feel so full. He pulls almost all the way and back in again. But he begins thrusting in you faster and harder. You squeal. He found your sweet spot and he makes that his target. He let go of your wrists, he pulls you into him with one of his arms, lifting you from the bed. You immediately grab a hold of him. You started moving your hips to meet his, wrapping your legs around his hips. You try to pull him inside you as far as you can. Steve moans deeply. You want him, all of him. You open your eyes, looking up at Steve, he’s staring down at you, his face full of delight smiling. You can’t stop squirming and you can’t keep your eyes open. You cling to him tightly and feel lost in the moment; your head is swirling. You put your head in the crook of his neck moaning softly. He feels your hot breath on him.

He stops suddenly. In surprise, you drop you head and open your eyes. He eyes are filled with love this time. He begins to kiss your passionately.  You open your mouth and Steve probes your mouth with his tongue. He lays you back down on the bed. He begins to play with your breasts; nipping at them; teasing them, sucking on your nipples. He slips his hand between the two of you and plays with your tender clit. He begins to thrust again, this time faster. Closer and stronger, your orgasm begins to build again. You core is beginning to tighten. Steve is now  you like an animal, hard and relentless. He pulls you up to him again, holding you skin to skin. ���Oh god, OMG” your 2nd orgasm hits you hard. You let go of Steve and collapse on the bed. You’re out of breath again and this time you almost pass out. The room is spinning. You’re filled with bliss. You look at Steve with love in your eyes. You think he’s all done but then you realize that he didn’t cum; OH NO….he’s not done with you yet! You gasp.

He flips you over so now you are on your hands and knees. Steve begins to take you from behind, softly and slowly. He knows you’re tender from all that he has done to you so far.

“Baby-girl! Love this so much!”  He’s panting into your ear. He starts to pound you with more vigor. “One more time…. Please Y/N.”

You feel like you can’t, your energy is spent and you’re overcome with tiredness. He continues the assault! Fingering your clit, massaging your breasts and nipping at your neck and shoulders to heighten your arousal. Harder and faster! More and more…. He wants to ensure you come again. You feel you orgasm building. Less than 1 minute later, you come again for the 3rd time. You moan softly as you have no more voice.

Steve screams your name! You walls grabs his shaft, squeezing him. His orgasm is just as powerful as yours. You feel his cum inside, warming you. He holds you for a minute as your body begins to relax.

He then lets go and you collapse on the bed. Steve falls on top of you but you don’t mind, you like his weight on you. It makes you feel safe, protected. After a few seconds, he lightly kisses your back, shoulders and your neck. He rolls over onto his back, gently pulling you towards him. “Come here baby-girl.” He covers you both with the comforter. “You ok?” “uh hmm.” “You want to go for that walk now?” “No. I want to stay right here.” You sigh, content as can be. 

You said the words he wants to hear. He feels the same way as you; he doesn’t want to leave the cabin either.  By now, you’re fast asleep in his arms.  He holds you tightly. He places soft kisses on the top of your head. You’re snuggled into him; your head on his chest and your arm draped across him. You fit in that spot exactly. He feels like you belong there, that you were meant to be there. It was for you and only you. Patience wasn’t his strong suit, but to him, everything you both experienced today was worth the wait.

“I love you” he whispers into your hair.

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 2x22 Chapter Fourty-Four

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) I get that it’s part of the Latino culture, but I kind of wish we would be done with this “women are obsessed over weddings and they dream about having the perfect wedding since they’re young and their whole lives revolve around this one goal”. I could maybe understand if it was about marriage, but it’s about getting married, having a dream wedding, and it all seems so shallow to me. I understand this is a wedding episode, but I wish they would’ve found a new angle instead of relying on the outdated “I’ve dreamed about this day since I was little” trope. It simply puts me off.

2) Will Jane really lose her virginity? Why do I feel she won’t? Like, I feel this is one of those shows that takes its title way too seriously and they will purposefully prevent Jane from having sex as long as they can. And I feel the only way she wouldn’t have sex is if she doesn't get married or if something was to happen to Michael, right?

3) Oh, damn, Luisa is going to be back? Not the moron, again!

4) Jane called Rafael over to share with him that Mateo had just taken his first steps, which was very co-parenting of her and I totally endorse it. Of course, the moment is ruined both for Rafael and me when he’s reminded that Mateo will walk down the aisle during Jane’s wedding to Michael…

And now he’s entertaining the idea of declaring his love to Jane and stopping the wedding? Are we really back to this? This is terrible writing, I’m sorry. Is this the only arc they can give Rafael? Forever pine for Jane?

5)

The cat is out of the bag.

6) Jane and Michael are fighting over the honeymoon arrangements and budget and I feel this doesn’t bode well…

7) Xiomara and Rogelio arrive late and set up in motion a chain of events that end up with Mateo nearly killing the priest during the rehearsal. Jane confronts them and tells them to get their shit together until after the wedding, and I find myself siding with her, for once.

8) Anezka and Magda are planning something sketchy during Jane’s wedding, right? But what, exactly? And more importantly, why? Just out of the evilness of their hearts? Or do they actually have some ulterior motive?

9) Well, for once, the moron didn’t act like a total moron. She actually told Rafael he should keep his mouth shut and let Jane go.

10) Alba ends up confessing that her wedding was actually a disaster and that the veil she’s given to Jane doesn’t actually belong to her family, and they all just... laugh it off? But if I were Jane I would be at least a bit peeved? I mean, this is the wedding story upon which all her fantasies and dreams were built? Alba’s retelling of her perfect wedding is the reason why she’s dreamed about her own wedding since she was a little girl? It’s the second time Alba’s fabricated stories have shaped Jane’s fundamental principles and goals in life and her personality, and I don’t understand why she’s not even slightly bothered by it? Am I crazy? Shouldn’t she be having an identity crisis? And how come Alba is such a hypocrite and no one calls her out on it?

11) Oh, Michael, just when I was starting to like you, you boil down feminism to this…

And this is shown as a very sweet moment between the two of them, they're having this all-nighter about all the important points to discuss before they get married, but… isn’t this a conversation they should’ve had way before the night before the actual wedding?

12) Now, Jane needs to pitch her new thesis on her way to the wedding. She gets her thesis approved, and she ends up having her professor get her into the wedding dress. And this is probably my favorite line in the show so far…

13) Rogelio left the car running with the AC on and now it’s broken down, and Rogelio is having a breakdown. Jane calms him down and they decide to take a bus, which I feel is the perfect way for Jane to arrive at her wedding.

14) And this is how she arrives at the church…

I just love that Rogelio is the one to be by her side throughout this whole ordeal.

15) Ugh, the fucker did it.

Such a selfish, asshole move.

16) Oh, nevermind, he really didn’t. I don’t take it back, though. I still think he’s a selfish asshole.

17) Michael learned his vows in Spanish. That’s very sweet. He’s going to die, right?

18) The choir and everyone in the church telling her to go have sex was a great callback to early season 1.

19) Okay…

How did this little show manage to get huge stars? Britney, Bruno Mars, fucking Charo! (I actually wonder how many people watching the show knew who the fuck Charo is before watching the episode where she had the cameo...)

20)  Petra breaks down after Jane’s wedding, thinking what she just witnessed is something she’ll never attain. Just as she’s crying, one of her babies starts laughing, and she’s instantly reminded of the only true love that matters.

21) Aw, Rogelio called Michael his son.

22) Jane and Rogelio got their own dance routine…

And I just remembered how she was crying while dress shopping with Xiomara after finding out she’d been lied to about her father her whole life.

Also, when exactly would they have found the time to learn and rehearse this little routine...? Makes no sense!

23) Is this… Anezka?

Or has she done something to Petra and taken her place?

24) Is anyone interested in this couple at all?

I mean, what role do they serve other than acting as the token lesbian couple, because there obviously can only be only one of those!

25) Rogelio and Xiomara have a very sweet, honest conversation in which they both admit they still want to be with each other but they haven’t changed their minds about wanting/not wanting to have kids. And again, they prove to be most mature and reasonable people in this show. They did act petty and childish at first, but they always find a way to have an honest, grown-up conversation about whatever is bothering them, and most importantly, they don’t let whatever that is draw them apart. They might not be together right now, but they will continue to care for each other.

26) Anezka is apparently paralyzed, except…

Called it. By the way, how does Anezka manage to speak perfect English when she pretends to be Petra but she reverses back to her broken English when she’s herself? It doesn’t make any sense. And what is the end game of this plan? Just woo Rafael? Get the hotels and his money? Well, I guess this is an answer…

27) Oops. I guess Xiomara got her wish…

Why do I feel Rogelio will end up raising the kid with her?

28) Jane and Michael are getting it on, and now he stops to go get some ice for the champagne, and I’ve got this nagging feeling he won’t be back…

29) Well, that happened.

(he looks like he’s about to sneeze)

30) And this is pushing my suspension of disbelief…

I guess this is why the moron fell in love with Michael’s partner.

I’m really not “wow, holy shit!” about this because I always felt they would bring Rose back, and it also doesn’t feel like an earned plot twist, you know? Usually, this type of plot twists work better when they shock you but you also feel like a fool because the clues had been there all along. This reveal? Not so much. They did plant the seeds in this very same episode, but that’s hardly good writing.

31) Well, that was an extremely soapy finale. There are so many loose threads it’s difficult to keep track – Michael got shot and we don’t know if he’s dead or alive, Rose is back, Rafael and “Petra” slept together, Petra is petrafied, AND Xiomara is pregnant. Although it was a very entertaining hour, I feel the show only manages to keep me thoroughly entertained during high stakes episodes like this, a finale. A whole lot happened in this hour, but not enough during the season, in my opinion. And we still need to see how all of these plots that have been set up will carry to season 3. There are many things about this show that I’m kind of done with, and to be honest, I haven’t really seen what everyone seems to see in it, why it is supposed to be so great. Two seasons in, and I’m still not sold. Except for Rogelio. Rogelio is a cinnamon roll and should be protected at all costs.

32) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi. Thanks!

[hpswl-cumbercookie]

Ballet!Lock Rec List

And we’re back! This week I would like to offer for your perusal, an amazing selection of ballet!lock fics! Ballet!Lock in my opinion is a vastly underappreciated trope that I happen to adore. If you’ve never read it, I urge you to give it a shot, because it is so much fun. If you have read Ballet!Lock before, I hope these recs help you find more amazing stories to read. Feel free to squee over these with me at any time, I will happily accept fanbuddies. Anyways, here are my searches that I used, although some of these recs did come off of my bookmark list. Search 1 Speaking of my bookmarks list, if for some reason, you cannot find a rec list of mine on my blog, every fic that I rec can also be found in my ao3 bookmarks list under the title of the list.

Brooklyn Heat, Summer Jazz by Zigster aka @zigster-ao3

Words: 42k Chapters: 10 Rating: Explicit

"There was, however, one thing that made it easier to stay on his piano bench every day. One thing that kept John Watson showing up to class on time, every morning at ten with a large thermos of honeyed tea and a conviction to see a job well done. His name was Sherlock Holmes and he was the most confounding and extraordinary thing John had ever come across - the most exotic of birds and the most unattainable of men."

A ballet and jazz-centric AU

Blond Barista Seeks Dashing Ballet Dancer: Inquire Within by prettysailorsoldier

Words: 44k Chapters: 1 Rating: Explicit

Between classes, his job at a local cafe, and being captain of the rugby team, John Watson's life is plenty stressful enough without the addition of a mysterious ballet dancer he can see through the windows of the dance studio across the street, but, somehow, he can't bring himself to mind.

For Dreaming and for Dancing by ReaderWriterPoet

Words: 1.9k Rating: Mature

Sherlock is retiring from the stage and only one thing is absent- his boyfriend of seven years, Captain John Watson.

ILYSB by Coldersongs

Words: 6.5k Rating: Mature

John's worked his entire life for his opportunity to become his full rugby-playing potential.

Sherlock's the graceful dancer that he falls in love with.

(Just another rugby playing John and dancer Sherlock fic)

Coming To See The Show by meandmybrokenfeels

Words: 719 Rating: Gen

Sherlock invites John to see one of his solo performances.

Sign Please by green_violin_bow

Words: 3.5k Rating: Teen

Sherlock lived in John's room on campus last year, and now John keeps having to sign for weird parcels from one Mycroft Holmes. One day, enough's enough, and he goes to find the intended recipient of two (separately-delivered) smelly old boots, a fake passport and visa, a highly professional-looking set of lockpicks, and a fresh human brain...

From a Tumblr prompt by @alexxphoenix42 - thank you so much, hope you enjoy!

Take Me To Church by Daziechane 

Words: 6.5k Rating: Mature

John’s days blurred. It didn’t even bother him anymore, that he wasn’t onstage. At least, that’s what he told himself every time he clocked in for another shift.

Sherlock’s days blurred. It didn’t even bother him anymore, that he wasn’t onstage. At least, that’s what he told himself every time he stepped into 221B.

Entree Adagio Variation Coda by tiger_in_the_flightdeck

Words: 10k Rating: Teen

Sherlock is injured on a case, and John blames himself. It's his job to keep him safe, and he failed. Determined not to allow himself to fall behind again, John takes up training.

Meanwhile, Sherlock follows suit and goes back to dance. The perfect way to communicate for two men who can't bring themselves to say the words they've been thinking for so long.

Props by LadyKailitha

Words: 16k Chapters: 8 Rating: Mature

When ballet virtuoso, Sherlock Holmes gets a table at the fanciest restaurant in town for his mother's birthday, he didn't expect the maitre d' to give his table away to rugby champion, John Watson. John, gracious as he is good-looking, offers to share the table.

Sparks fly.

Atelophobia and Arabesques by dreadpiratewatson

Words: 4.5k Rating: Teen

Sherlock Holmes takes ballet very seriously. He has an audition lined up with the Royal Academy of Dance, and he's willing to do anything to get the position, and be absolutely perfect, even run himself into the ground.

John Watson has something to say about that.

The Dancer and the Captain by Mssmithlove

Words: 17k Rating: Explicit

Ballet has always been Sherlock's first love, but when a certain rugby captain starts hanging around, well, that may just change.

Waldosia by milou407

Words: 2.5k Rating: Gen

(n) A condition characterized by scanning faces in a crowd looking for a specific person who would have no reason to be there.

Waiting for you outside - JW

Sherlock felt as though a weight had been lifted off his chest, and he felt an enormous smile break across his face.

Overture by dreadpiratewatson

Words: 29k Chapters:14 Rating: Mature

Sherlock Holmes, a shy, aloof ballet dancer, loves ballet, and ballet only. He tried it once, being in love, but after humiliation and heartbreak, he swore it off forever. Then, John Watson comes along, and turns his world upside down The kindhearted rugby captain sits on the studio floor just inches from him, laughs at his dry sense of humor, waits for him after dance, and drives him home afterwards. Sherlock wants him, but how can someone so undeserving and incapable of love think that someone as wonderful as John Watson would ever love him back?

Many Things by imaqualady

Words: 499 Rating: Gen

Watson's bringing his girl to practice, or, at least, that's what the boys think.

His First Bow by RoseGoldAmpersand

Words: 1.5k Rating: Explicit

Sherlock's just finished his first professional performance, but his high is sobered by his suspiciously absent boyfriend.

Relief in Breathing by Brokenpitchpipe

Words: 5k Rating: Teen

He can’t believe this- this is Sherlock Holmes, for god’s sake. The boy who can be found smoking the last of the day’s pack of cigarettes at lunch hour. The boy who rides a bloody motorcycle to school and back. For fuck’s sake, he’s pretty sure that Sherlock Holmes is in one of his classes, but hell if John’s ever actually seen him there.

And he does ballet?

Out of Step by prettysailorsoldier

Words: 13.5k Rating: Explicit

Prompt: Balletlock, with Sherlock dancing in The Nutcracker as the Nutcracker, and John is a stage guy, and they start a showmance or something - bestcoastisthewestcoast

Prompt: Nutcrackerlock! - anon

John is surprisingly at peace with the recent changes in his life, taking a job as the rugby coach at a secondary school after being discharged from the army, but, when he finds out being part of the school community also means helping out with the annual Christmas production, he's slightly less keen on the whole affair. That is, until an old pupil of the dance teacher shows up, a man by the name of Sherlock Holmes, but will their backstage romance be a box office hit, or a grade A blunder?

[its-oat-freaking-meal]

Planning to start tonight when I’m done with work stuff, but first I’m going to write down basic memories I have of the characters without looking stuff up or clarifying if I’m right: 

Jake, The Leader: Ax calls him “Prince Jake.” All these kids were going through some shit, but he was often the one who had to make the call on tough moral decisions. Had way too many feelings for just one (1) heart. A lot of what I remember about him besides his Heavy Burden Of Being The Leader stuff involved his brother Tom. Everything with Jake and Tom was sad and tense and some very good stuff if I recall. Also, that book where he temporarily got a Yerk in his head was one of my favorites. 

Marco, The Funny One: Source of so much terrible 90s humor. Honestly even as a kid I remember thinking his jokes were kind of cheesy a lot, but he did deliver a line that made me laugh so hard that it stuck in my head for over 20 years and is the title of this blog. He nearly quit early on after a really traumatic experience, (which stuck with me too. I can still remember the image of him crying in the shower after ): ) but came back when he learned his mom was a controller. Joined Jake in the “doin’ it for our family” boat. Honestly I think he used humor to cover his anger a lot. 

Cassie, The Sensitive One: Loves animals. I think her family does wildlife rescue or something? I remember there always being wounded animals around her that she was lovingly tending to. Also sometimes think that she was fighting more for them than the human race, which is valid. Is into biology and zoology and stuff, is also frequently the group’s hookup for access to exotic animals. I think the ethical dilemmas they dealt with were particularly heavy for her? There was one book (another of my favorites) where she got in an argument about the ethics of subjugating one species to help your own and turned into a butterfly as a compromise. Iconic.

Rachel, The Badass Fighter, Except It’s About The Horrors Of War So The Badass Fighter Is A More Complicated Figure, But Also She’s Still A Fucking Kid Give Her A Break: The others called her “Xena, Warrior Princess” (which I assume means she’s gay) I remember this because, if memory serves, they mention it in every single goddamned book. She was pretty and popular and into sports if I recall. Strong queen bee energy. I remember she was frequently accused of enjoying the fight a little too much, which, tfw you’re like 14 or something and your friends keep commenting on your thirst for battle.

Ax, The SPACE FRIEND!!: Little brother of the space prince that gave the others their powers, cannot fucking handle having a mouth and a sense of taste. Lots of good “alien fish out of water” and “alien trying and failing to act like a normal human” moments with this guy. Is kind of a snob at first but comes around, can’t help that his head is full of Andalite propaganda. Fun alien shenanigans aside, a lot of his story has to do with slowly and painfully realizing how much of Andalite society kind of sucks, while also coming to appreciate humanity and develop a friendship with the others. Lives in the woods with Tobias, where they bond over being the best two characters.

Tobias, The Sensitive One 2.0 This One’s A Hawk: TOBIAS!!!! Did I fall in love with characters who have an ambivalent/ relationship with their own humanity because of Tobias, or did my love for this trope make me love him? Either way, Tobias is awesome. Starts out as a Troubled Teen from Circumstances, then immediately got stuck in his hawk morph. A lot of “I don’t even know if I’m a human anymore, what is humanity anyway” stuff. Eventually acquires his own DNA via time travel, and after that there’s the knowledge that he could always change back and live as a normal kid without having to eat mice or commit war crimes, but he chooses to stay. Probably a combination of wanting to help the others and not being 100% sure being a Troubled Teen from Circumstances is better than being a feral hawk. A good listener, too. I remember him playing the group therapist a lot, probably because he has a lot of time to think.

Some particularly memorable stories that come to mind when thinking back:

The One Where Jake Gets Yerked And They Stuff Him In The Shed For A Week

The One Where Ax Eats All The Cinnamon Buns

The One Where Ants Cause Great Trauma

The One Where Rachel Is Allergic To A Crocodile And Goes On TV

The One Where War Crimes Are Contemplated With Maple Flavored Oatmeal

The One Where Shitty All Seeing Aliens Show Them The Future And It Really Really Sucks

The One Where Sharks Get Smart

The One Where There’s A Yerk Chat Room

The One Where Cassie Turns Into A Caterpillar Because She STICKS TO HER PRINCIPLES

The One Where Tobias Learns The Shocking Truth Of His Birth But Forgets How To Look Surprised

The One Where Tobias Almost Gets Eaten By A Fucking Raccoon And It’s The Most Terrifying Thing I Ever Read

The One Where Another Kid Joins And Is Just A Real Shit So They Make Him A Rat And It’s Morally Uncomfortable

The Andalite Chronicles: Where Elfangor Gets Freaked Out By Shoes, Drinks Dr. Pepper and Sees A Man That’s All Pimple Because There Wasn’t Enough Body Horror In This Series Already

[kyn19]

1 THROUGH 98! I WANT TO KNOW THE ANSWERS AND I CAN'T STAND GETTING THEM PIDDLING BIT BY PIDDLY BIT!!!!!

Lmaooooo what a fuckin Mood. Thank you!!!!! Also, you’re getting Drunk Kylie answers which are arguably the Best answers. For the courtesy of everyone’s dash, answers are below the cut!! <3 <3 <3

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Coffee mugs! I have a sizable collection lmao #WriterLife

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

omg such a tough one, both are aces. seriously I can think of so many combatting pros & cons!! the only fair way i can currently conceive is which i would want weed in. Which is lollipops bc (#UnpopularOpinion) pot makes chocolate taste bad.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

both are great, but def bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“Pleasure to have in class” in true Gifted Child fashion

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i’ll rate them in order: 1) can (absolutely preferred), 2) bottle if alone but plastic (lez be honest, Red Solo Cup) if with company, 3) glass (do not like)

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

#1 goth all the way. Pastel and Formal guest appearances

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphone, bc earbuds usually hurt my ears.

8. movies or tv shows?

first of all, how dare you. second of all, tv shows ONLY BECAUSE if all my fave movies were given tv shows so that they could last longer i would choose so

9. favorite smell in the summer?

idk i guess pool chlorine? dislike summer

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

bruh fuckin none. elementary school: too long ago to recall. middle school: escaped having to take gym at all. high school: had a medical excuse to take online PE. least athletic girl u know

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i don’t have bfast bc eating close to when i awaken makes my tummy upset

12. name of your favorite playlist?

hmm 4-way tie between “#motivate #bitch” (gets me pumped to work) and “Friends Of The Illness” (my playlist of songs about and/or artist who are mentally ill) and “Ominous/haunting” (speaks to my creepy side) and “Bad Bitches” (self-explanatory amirite)

13. lanyard or key ring?

Key ring. Straight up I use an extra shoelace as my key ring string, despite owning multiple lanyards.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

god another fkn hard one. Listen y’all, you dont understand how much of a sugar fiend i am. candy is my JAM. Starbursts, Sour Straws, Skittles, Jolly Ranchers...who can choose?!

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

“Ceremony” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Highly recommend!!!!!!!!!!!

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

laying down lol sitting is for suckers

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

combat boots like the gay i am

18. ideal weather?

low 70′s degrees (F*), intermittent showers during the day but clear starry skies overnight

19. sleeping position?

mostly fetal, mostly on my side but chest is towards the bed, one arm under the pillow under my head

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Laptop. I used to love writing in notebooks, but ya girl got weak fingy joints nowadays

21. obsession from childhood?

pfft as if they aren’t the same obsessions i have now

22. role model?

so many!!!!! Jameela Jamil is the first that comes to mind

23. strange habits?

lmao i am ass-deep in idiosyncrasies, if you ain’t read the blog title already

24. favorite crystal?

i don’t know anything about crystals. does blue topaz count? cuz that’s my birthstone and i like that one a lot. i even had the foresight to pick that as my engagement ring’s stone in my utterly preposterous & failed relationship

25. first song you remember hearing?

oh wow, no idea. music has always been huge for me. probably either a Britney Spears or Mary J. Blige song???

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

stay inside lmao

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

WEAR SWEATERS & DRINK HOT CHOCOLATE, BITCH!!!!!!!!!

28. five songs to describe you?

oof ok, hard, but here goes:

“Here” by Alessia Cara

“Wannabe” by the Spice Girls

“I’m Just a Kid and Life Is A Nightmare” by Simple Plan

“No Daddy” by Teairra Mari

“Brick By Boring Brick” by Paramore

29. best way to bond with you?

i am straight up not easy to make friends with (bc my own bullshit, not trying to be pretentious), so bonding is hard. the best way is probably a combo of queer + memes + loves food + correct morals + being the dominant talker

30. places that you find sacred?

Libraries, locally owned coffee shops, Walmarts at 3am, playgrounds in the middle of the night, side of a rural road at 12am, my bed

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Blazer + shirt with a titty window + high waisted plaid pants + platform booties

32. top five favorite vines?

OMG I LOVE VINES OK OK OK OMG I LOVE SO MANY SO HERE ARE JUST THE ONES I QUOTE THE MOST OK:

Josh Kennedy: “What’s up my name’s Jared I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read”

Sarah Schauer: [dont remember the beginning] “didn’t you..?” “sleep in this? yes. mama needs A DRINK”

Evan Breer: “What’s up my & my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker - give me my hat back Jordan, do you see Uncle Kracker or no - *gasp!*”

Drew Gooden: “Road work ahead? Um yeah, I sure hope it does...”

Nathan Enick: “Yo how much money do you have?” “69 cents” “Oh you know what that means!” “...i don’t have enough money for chicken nuggets :( ...”

33. most used phrase in your phone?

bruh like how even am i supposed to answer this?? like texts or Siri requests or????? bc if it’s Siri requests then it’s 100% for arithmetic

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Stanley Steamer. you kno the one

35. average time you fall asleep?

3:30am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

bitch i’m a 90′s child of the internet, i was around the web before YouTube launched, i was there when the first modern memes were fucking conceived. i will say the biggest repository of meme culture that i was a part of was YouTube and icanhazcheezburger.com & its side-sites.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel - Tie-Dye Girl from the Lindsey Lohan “Parent Trap” made quite the impression on me

38. lemonade or tea?

Lemonade! hate the leaf water

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake! Not a meringue pie girl saly

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

I’ve been to a lot of schools yo lol. My undergrad college was def the “weirdest” ofc, bc it was an art school lol. An instance that stands out was a string of “Solid Gold Clit” graffiti after a Sophia Wallace visit to campus right before i started there.

41. last person you texted?

My bff triad pals @backwardswriter and @bristarshine

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

damn tough call. Probably jacket pockets bc i’m more likely to have those as a lady who wears lady-targeted pants

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie

44. favorite scent for soap?

Plum!

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, though sci-fi is a solid 2nd. Not much of a superhero gal

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.....underwear only. Sometimes an oversized t-shirt too.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Mozzarella!!!

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

I would want to be like a pomegranate, but i’m probably a nectarine

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“If you hope for the best but expect the worst, you’ll never be disappointed.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

bitch i’m a giggle monster, i taught myself to be easily amused as a survival mechanism.

51. current stresses?

My own lack of discipline.

52. favorite font?

oooooof i have so many ok. too name a few: Centaur, Garamont, Book Antigua, Times New Roman, Montserrat.....mostly Serif fonts bc I’m an old books bitch

53. what is the current state of your hands?

I don’t love my hands (how homophobic of me, I know). Currently they’re kinda dry and full of sandwich

54. what did you learn from your first job?

what kind of boss I like. also that my customer service voice is frighteningly pleasant

55. favorite fairy tale?

Original tale: Thumbelina. Adaptations: Snow White.

56. favorite tradition?

uhhh Thanksgiving feast I guess? i am not a traditions gal

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

I am very very fortunate to not have a lot or a severity of these. The ones that I’ve had the worst of are: gender discrimination/harassment as a woman, hardcore emotional abuse in a relationship, and heavy heavy mental illness

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

Tangible talents: writing, lying. Intangible: A+ imagination, useless trivia.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“I support you!”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

like if Tokyo Mew Mew and Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni had a baby

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

Again, how dare you. Like literally, asking me to pick a favorite line from something is like asking what my favorite breed of dog is. Legit impossible

62. seven characters you relate to?

Ananka Fishbein (Kiki Strike series), Mermista (She Ra & the Princesses of Power), Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter), Gwen (Total Drama), Rori Gilmore (Gilmore Girls), Villanelle (Killing Eve), Andrea (St. Trinian’s)

so like all very- to semi-weird white girls lmao

63. five songs that would play in your club?

[by the term “club” i assume that i’m limited to pop and electronic music. even with the limitation, though, a super hard question]

“Talking Body” by Tove Lo

“Hot in Herre” by Nelly

“Because the Night” by Cascada

“Nails, Hair, Hips, Heels” by Todrick Hall

“Break Free” by Ariana Grande ft. Zedd

64. favorite website from your childhood?

pretty much any doll franchise’s site (Barbie, Bratz, My Scene, Polly Pocket, Diva Girlz, everGirl, etc you name it)

65. any permanent scars?

Yep. One by a dog scratch (it was honestly a weak/shallow/innocent scratch, i still have no idea why it scarred at all), and a few from a car crash last year

66. favorite flower(s)?

i don’t really like flowers? i usually just say Forget-Me-Not’s for ease

67. good luck charms?

bitch idk but i’m knocking on wood just from thinking bout it

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

you ever taste that chocolate Laffy Taffy? vile bruh

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

I am annoying enough to know how i learnt all my facts, but the funnest fact I like to annoy people with is that ducks have corkscrew penises evolved from their main form of mating being rape

70. left or right handed?

Right (like any ol’ simp)

71. least favorite pattern?

polka dots

72. worst subject?

MATH and also PHYS ED

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

One time whilst high, I put nacho cheese Doritos on a tuna sandwich. Winning combo, I’m telling you

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

My pain tolerance is straight up unpredictable, so like anywhere from a 3 to a 9

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

5 years old

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Mashed potatoes

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

I am not a plant person. Moss.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

fucking neither but i at least like coffee so i guess the former....

(i know, it’s tragic and barbaric that i dislike sushi, i wish i had another answer for you)

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

Neither lmao - I got them within a month of each other (six years ago) so they’re essentially the same photo.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I mean those are the same bug so I assume this is asking about which terminology I typically use/prefer. Which i would say both bc I’m a cultured ho

82. pc or console?

I don’t game so I guess PC lmao

83. writing or drawing?

Writing but I like both

84. podcasts or talk radio?

damn neither lmao I can’t focus on non-music audio only. I guess talk radio, just bc I can do like ten minute radio segments at least lol

84. barbie or polly pocket?

both were lit but I had more Barbies

85. fairy tales or mythology?

not to sound like a broken record but FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU? second of all, I essentially consider them in the same category at this point in modernity, so my answer is Yes.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cupcakes, but both are exquisite

87. your greatest fear?

spiders, heights, clowns, seeing bad things happening to animals, that my consciousness will exist even after death, y’know normal stuff

88. your greatest wish?

to transfer myself into one of my fave fictional worlds

89. who would you put before everyone else?

dogs, next question

90. luckiest mistake?

i make a lot of those honestly, so who knows

91. boxes or bags?

LISTEN I LOVE CONTAINERS OF ALL SORTS, YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE, IM PANSEXUAL FOR A REASON

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

FLASHLIGHTS, BITCH

93. nicknames?

Ky, KyKy, Moonshine, SugarTits, Goog Bones

94. favorite season?

Autumn (yes i call it that instead of Fall bc i’m a pretentious ass bitch lol)

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr, c’mon

96. desktop background?

Currently a digital art painting of a flowing stag in a swamp that I downloaded from DeviantArt. I change it every few months though (to other downloaded digital art from DA that I collect periodically lmao)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Seven - mine, my mom’s 2 numbers, my grandma’s, my pop’s cell and office (also my old office) numbers, and my childhood house phone number lol

98. favorite historical era?

Golden Age of Piracy, specifically bc the piracy lol

Thank you so much for the asks, this was so much fun!!!