#this kinda makes your game feel like a dollar store game idk

[kyriathanatos]

I just started an RPG (arc the lad 1) and this is maybe the 6th or 7th text box of the English release

I’m not trying to be a dick but cmonnnn typos this early? Especially for what appears to be a plot relevant item lol

[xxmaddyxx]

Hi!! I love your writing so much 💕 and I had a request, I was wondering if you could do kenma comforting the reader after she lost all her saved game data?

Basically my ps4 decided to try to off itself this week and I had to factory reset it, which ended with me losing all of my saved data, for every game I've ever played on there (including 500+hours in just one of those games 🥲)

Anyway I was just thinking who else would understand this pain better than the pro gamer himself <3

Thank you!

oh no :( im sorry you lost all your data ive had that happen and it's lowkey depressing. i gotchu with the headcanon though don't worry

Kenma x reader who lost her game data! masterlist

one day you were chillin and playing your ps4... nothing strange happening at all

sike

your ps4 just powers off

and the woman was speechless

you sat there for a second looking at the black screen lowkey confused

me personally my ps4 is on life support so this is normal but anyway

you leaned forward and powered it back on

a few minutes later literally none of the games were working

it either had the "internet connection loss" message when you were literally right next to the router

or it just closed the game -_-

you texted kenma and asked what you should do

babe i think my ps4 died

wdym died?...

like it's not working

did you power it off and back on

it shut off by itself...

you might have to take it down to factory settings...

i can't do that do you know how much time i have invested in these games

babe idk what else to tell you

and so with a heavy heart, you opened the setting and took your ps4 down to factory settings

hundreds of hours of gameplay gone... because the mf ps4 decided to fuck up

you faceplanted on your bed

when you heard a soft knock at your door

you already knew who it was so you got up and opened your door to see Kenma with a dollar store bag in his hand and a dq blizzard in his hand

"babe, what're you doing?" you smiled at him

"losing your game data sucks, it's happened to me plenty of times." you and him walked to your room

he set the bag on the bed and handed you the blizzard as he went on his phone

you dug through the bag and saw candy, chips, and your favorite drinks

"omg Kenma, how much did you spend?" you picked up the receipt that read-

he snatched it

"dont worry bout it." he showed you his phone

it was one of his past streams

"chat, what should we play next, kinda bored."

you could see he was reading the chat and sipping on an energy drink

"babe what did i tell you about the energy drinks"

"shh"

on the stream you saw the screen go black, like yours did

"oh shi-" he choked on his drink

"kenma what did you do." you could hear kuroo's voice on the discord call they were on during the stream

"my ps4 just decided to not work."

"huh, that makes no sense."

"shut up and let me try to power it back on"

kenma skipped at couple minutes of the stream and you saw that his games were all glitchy too

"kenma you good?" kuroo asked

"bro i gotta take the system down to factory settings."

"are you sure? that's a lot of progress that you'll lose."

"yeah i know it's gonna suck."

sure enough, he did it on stream and all his progress was reset

kenma put his phone down as you fed him a bite of your blizzard

"see babe, it happens. it'll obviously take you longer to get your progress back bcs you play a lot less than i do, but we can have little gaming dates maybe?"

you kissed his cheek, "sounds great ken"

thank you for the request!! feel free to request more <3

[deadgrantaires]

soooo as i worked up my courage to make a million calls this morning i also got the crushing news that my gov insurance has been ~*canceled*~ and as im trying to cope with that it goes hand in hand with now trying to rate my 20+ medications against each other and decide which ones im going to try stopping altogether bc i literally cannot afford to take them all, especially when my daily inhaler that i need to live/w0rk at all has no generic option and will ALWAYS cost me like $60/month. I have a month left to see doctors before i shut myself in and just live with all my problems forever bc all my problems need testing and all the testign costs hundreds of dollars, of which i do not have in spare cash with my measly p4ych3ck after yknow. rent and utilities and food. so thats out of the question. it also means if/when i get hospitalized again for getting ANY sickness i cannot afford the bill and will just be completely screwed. which is only BETTER because ofc nobody is taking covid seriously anymore despite still being in the middle of an unimporving pandemic. but no eveyrones ability to go to the grocery store without wearing a mask IS more important than my life, who am i kidding

but anyways im just. completley fucked and i guess its good i was always kinda prepared to be completely fucked and its really just a waiting game to see how much all my meds are gonna cost me and budgeting from there. but may have to say farewell to the dreams of seeing a therapist again since idk if i can afford it as a monthly/weekly expense with everything else. added to the fact that i have to keep switching therapists bc they "feel they arent helping me as much as they should" like yeah absolutley bud, the stress and frustration and panic of having to spend my obsolete energy shopping around for another therapist who takes my insurance and isnt meshing at all with me is surely BETTER than u spending the time to try and understand how to help me, as is literally. your job. so i think ill just give up on that!

like as if it wasnt bad enough that im jsut Not Eating half the time anyway bc i dont have any time or energy or will to make myself food. the ammount of times ive just gone to bed without eating bc i looked in the fridge 20 times and eveyrthing i thought about made me feel sick or exhausted me so i said fuck it and went to bed hungry. so like at this point saving money by not going to therapy would at least MAYBE give me wiggle room to buy more food i can actually eat. not that i can. leave the house at all any more since im so burnt out that even thinking about leaving the house on the weekend to get groceries literally saps away my strength all week trying to work up to it. and i STILL cant go out on the weekend. so i literally. dont know howim supposed to survive this other than just. see how it plays out and hope for the best or like. that i kill myself good enough that i just die and dont end up in the hospital with bills about it 🙄

.

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 5]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ? 

“You guys! I--you have to see this!”

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.

sleepy_wonu: holy hell

universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella

alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads

angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol 

You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y���know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.

dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)

tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast

hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss

dom.cheol has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”

dom.cheol: 5

universe_WZ: 4

sleepy_wonu: 6

angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5

alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!

gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3

tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck

kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!

xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!

therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….

chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear

hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky

Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”

Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”

dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?

xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…

The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.

“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

xcaliburDK has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum

Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.

dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute

therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now

angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao

“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.

sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar

gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol

“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.

kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting

chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it

dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get

“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.

You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.

tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh

therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE

Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.

Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.

He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.

Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.

“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”

Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.

Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.

angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging

universe_WZ: NO

dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)

You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.

hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out

artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this

xcaliburDK: goddamn same

The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.

You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.

Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.

alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby

universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck

universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk

You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.

“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”

dom.cheol has donated $400

dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)

universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON

universe_WZ has donated $150

angelhan has donated $150

therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close

hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/

You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.

You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show. 

Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.

Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think. 

He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.

You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.

Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.

The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.

His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it. 

All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.

Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.

The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.

In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.

Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.

And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.

“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either.  Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”

While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.

The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.

And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.

“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”

Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.

He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple  sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.

“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.

“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”

Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.

He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.

“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.

“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”

You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.

He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.

Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.

“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.

Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”

“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”

You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.

“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”

He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.

“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.

“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”

The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”

“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.

“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.” 

Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.

“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”

“It’s a deal!”

The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.

“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”

You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.

In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.

The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.

Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.

“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”

[blackberry-gingham]

The love language concept sounds interesting! I’d say George’s love language/the way he shows love is physical touch, Paul’s is receiving gifts, Ringo’s is positive affirmation mixed with quality time, and tbh I’m not to sure for John. maybe acts or service or quality time for him?

Mwahaha, you've fallen into my trap! The truth is I wanted to do this topic more or less for myself, but felt bad bc I still have a few requests left to do. So thank you for sending in a "request" for me so that I can do one out of order real quick >:3

Lol but really tho, thank you for humoring me and these are good! I could honestly see all of these, but for John I'd say acts of service with you, bc the "To Do" stuff just sounds like his character tbh, but maybe also I feel like there's some physical touch too???

Ik I've heard that John kind of actually didn't like being touched, but I mean... If you look at literally any picture of him with Yoko, he's always at least holding her hand, if not just totally draped all over her lol, so I'm assuming for an S/O it's totally different!

But anyway, here's some headcannons real quick and then back to requests. Thanks everyone!

---

George

Honestly? I feel like George would just not be able to keep his hands off you

Like, not necissarily in a sexual way (although that too, if you're in the mood lol), it's just that he loves to let you and everyone else know you're his

He's not all too shy about it either lol

I mean obviously he saves the more lovey dovey stuff for private places, but in public he still has a lot to offer

Everytime he sees you he kisses you either on the cheek, forehead, or mouth and then pulls you in for a hug

Always

Then the rest of the time, as long as he doesn't have to be working, he likes to hold your hand and play with your hair

And if he's feeling a little risqué, he likes to let you sit on his lap and cuddle against him

In private tho...

Oh, he is all over you!!!

You are his sanctuary and safe haven away from the public eye and the daily grind that comes with being a Beatle

I've seen quite a few quotes from geo lamenting the fact that he and the others had literally no private life thanks to their stardom

So yeah, believe me when I say he could live a thousand years and still never feel like he could repay you for giving him the rest and love he needs

He'd be like a long, giant cat. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, if he has an opportunity to snuggle up to you, he takes it

And if he's not exhausted, and if you let him !! he likes to just touch and kiss your body and face

Having that closeness and intimacy is so important to him, he wants to let you know how deeply he loves you

All of you

And of course, the best way you can return his love language back to him is by returning the intimacy he does for you!

When in Rome, after all

Honestly, just by accepting his offers when he initiates a request to hold your hand or hug or cuddle, he already appreciates that!

But if you initiate any of those things, he's definitely feeling the love!!

Although, one thing you like to do a bit different is giving massages

Of course George would certainly give you one if you asked!

But since he's usually tired, either mentally or physically, from always being on the go, you like to do him a favor lol

And he loves it

Seriously, you've never seen a man more blissed out then George gets over something as simple as a back or scalp massage

Assuming he doesn't fall asleep under the spell of your skillful fingers, he repays you with kisses or cuddles after :)

John

Ok idk if I'm like projecting, or reaching, or SOMETHING along those lines, but I feel like of all the boys, John is probably the one most looking for a true partner, as in like his other half

Paul is very close behind with his relationship with Linda, but for John it always came off as a need for him, more then like a want or nice thing to have

So anyway, all this to say that as far as acts of service goes, I think he gets a lot of security out of receiving this!

Like, whenever John's feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed having you there to approach the issues with an objective mindset is a HUGE relief

Really, like I cannot stress this enough

Phrases like, "What can I do to take some pressure off for you?"

Or, "Well what if we just focus on x for now, and then we can take care of y and z tomorrow?"

All give him such a powerful sense of relief

And of course, the way that you, you know, actually follow up on your word, makes him fall even deeper in love with you then he thought possible

Now on the other hand, is physical touch

While this is a part of his love language cocktail, John likes to express this one a bit more then he likes to receive it

You see, unlike George, John is a little more reserved with his PDA

He will kiss you and hold your hand of course! But unfortunately his anxiety is a thing, so as much as he hates it, he has to reserve his physical affection for more private settings

But when you two are alone, he's like puddy in your hands!

He likes to just hold you a lot

It doesn't matter if you're preoccupied with something else, like a book or the telly, he just wants to have physical contact with you

And if you can do any of those things cuddled up on his lap or against his chest, even better!

But also, John definitely loves to get that energy back

He likes it when you give him cute little kisses and pet his head

I think he'd also like it if you rubbed his temples or the bridge of his nose/third eye lol

Wearing glasses all day can get uncomfortable you know!!

I think if you can establish that trust and physical closeness, that's when you'd also get a return on his acts of service

Really, if you've bonded this deeply with John he'd do literally anything for you

Whatever you need, whatever you want, if he can do it he will and if he can't he'll find a way to do it anyway!

He'd be loyal to a fault and love you forever after

Paul

Please tell me why I could see Paul being your sugar daddy on the low 😭😭

Really, like he just likes to spoil you!

Honestly if someone showed me proof that the real actual, 78 year old, 2021 Paul McCartney uses stacks of hundred dollar bills as tinder for his fireplace, I literally wouldn't even blink

Like even back in the day, he's got that Beatles' money baby !!! and he.... Kinda doesn't care for it, actually

I personally don't think any of the boys come across as like money hungry or something like that, but I could see Paul especially figuring that he might as well use all this dumb money to buy you things you like!

It may feel overwhelming to be on the receiving end of so many random, but expensive gifts tbh

You might even tell him to stop or that he doesn't have to do all that!!

I think he'd be able to understand that overwhelming you with nice things kinda has the opposite effect of what he's intending, but....

He just gets a little carried away sometimes lol

I mean growing up he didn't have all that much, and even now, like obviously nice things are nice, but meh

What he really wants to do is make sure you're enjoying the high life too!

I could see him doing more of writing you songs and music instead so that he can still fulfil his desire to give, should you feel uncomfortable with the fancy gifts

But yeah, if you're uncomfortable he totally would get that and dial back the materialism, but if you don't mind, then he doesn't either!!

Now you might be wondering how you, a delightfully average person, could impress Paul McCartney with a gift giving love language...

I mean, what do you give the man who has everything?

Well I'd tell you this... It's simple!

You could bring him literally anything that you find meaningful and be like "This made me think of you!" or "I just thought you'd like this!" and he'll love it!

He would definitely run up some organized collections of the little things you've given him

He has some dedicated display boxes for all the random, shiny rocks and pebbles you've found

A little filing drawer of all the notes you've ever wrote him

And if you like art or photography, he'd decorate his personal spaces with your work!

Of course he'd appreciate traditional gifts too tho

Like a watch or bass strings or a new tie ect ect

But the thing for you to not get caught up on is the price!

That doesn't matter to him :)

He likes your gifts bc they came from you!

Ringo

Ok, positive affirmation is definitely a big thing for Ringo

He gets roasted a lot by the boys and even the media, and all in good fun I suppose, but after a while enough is enough you know?

Not to mention, he just feels a bit... Lesser then?? Compared to the others and their musical talent

So the poor guy really needs a break!

Literally, even just little one word sentences of encouragement mean sooo much to him

"I'm so proud of you Ritchie!"

"That sounded wonderful!"

"You've done a great job today at the studio, good work!"

Stuff like that makes him melt

Of course he also appreciates the more conventional things like "I love you" and when you call him handsome!

And as for the spending quality time, that comes easily!

Ringo looooves to take you out on dates!

Now yes, there's your typical movie date, dinner, dancing, all that

But his favorite things to do is go on little adventures!

He takes you to the park, the beach, out to explore thrift and consignment stores, and anywhere else you want to check out!

However, not everyone wants to run around outside 24/7

So in the house, he likes doing things that you two can do together!

Painting is a big one, seeing as it's his other hobby, but it could honestly be anything, like puzzles, board games, or just watching TV!

I'm trying to think of how he'd return the words words of affirmation side of his love language, but I think it would be a little harder for him to do then expressing quality time tbh

You just make him so darn shy!

What with all your good looks and kindness, he just feels a little overwhelmed

Have you ever seen a work of art, or architecture, or even a landscape so breathtaking that you don't really know where to start when describing it to someone?

Yeah, it's like that

He definitely wants to try tho!

I think he'd stick to simple things like complimenting your outfits and praising your work or personal projects you show him!

He's worried that that comes across as just common decency tho, so he says "I love you" a lot and tries to make up for his bad way with words with quality time

[rainwolfheart]

i've been playing lovelink for a few days and i have reviews

Adam/Dominic - total sweetheart. lil basic but I am absolutely spending gems on him. 9/10

Aesha/Samantha - I wanted to like her but I can't deal with the cringe. and mc being so oblivious to game culture. also I am not into the sexy videogame outfits thing. 3/10

Albert/Jonathan - no thanks I don't respect the troops. might match with Albert if I'm desperate to farm gems. 1/10

Alex/Calum - too forward, wish there were more "cool your jets bro" options like there are with Blake/Keanu. also just doesn't feel realistic. "couldn't afford canvas so I painted on myself"??? you can buy canvas at the dollar store, it's good paint that's expensive. try harder. 3/10

Alice/Eve - matched with Eve before I reset and I want her back. didn't get far enough to really get to know her tho. 7/10

Ana/Milena/Ruby - I'm not into the "born sexy yesterday and you're the only human she knows" thing. I think she's super sweet and interesting and I want to help her, but I want her to make real friends and do stuff without mc! the obsession makes me uncomfortable. 3/10

Angel/Emmalyn - super sweet but I want to have nuanced animal rights/veganism conversations with her every time 😬 5/10

Antoine/Noah - one of the only pairs who's never come up! I want to match with Noah and get dog pictures. 5/10

Austin/Damien - ehh could take it or leave it. probably gonna match with Austin to farm gems. maybe I'll be surprised. 2/10

Blake/Keanu - kinda enjoying it. I matched with Blake first with a more femme mc in mind and I was kinda creeped out, but after I reset I matched with Keanu with a more masc mc and I'm into it. he's cuter. wish his pics were actually covered in ink tho?? he's got a sleeve and like 2 big pieces, he's not even the character with the most lmao. 5/10

Charlie/Jake/Zayn - ngl Charlie was one of the reasons I reset. I had already matched with Zayn but I found out Charlie is probably trans and I couldn't not. honestly not super into the storyline, as a theatre major who is a terrible actor, but I can live with it. 6/10

Clementine/Grace - matched with Grace before I reset, gonna go for Clementine tho. Grace has too many "sexy nerd halloween costume" vibes for me. Clementine has the same name as my cat but at least she's less cringe. 4/10

Cpt. Muffin - BEST MATCH. BRING HIM BACK. 11/10.

Dahlia/Rose - I think Dahlia is the most like someone I'd date irl she's too fucking cute. I have spent gems on every single option so far. I am buying an engagement ring and all the snacks as we speak. 10/10.

Daniel/Ryan - matched with Daniel before I reset and probs will again. kept rolling my eyes at his story tho. you can't just breach your NDAs to a random person on a dating app!! 4/10

Didier/Mamoru - waiting patiently for Mamoru.... 5/10

Dr. Vile - I'm a lil disappointed he greyed out so early. I'm having fun with the story but not sold yet. 6/10

Eveline/Jade - had Eveline before I reset and I want her back!!!! possibly my fave after Dahlia and Adam. also the kind of person I'd be into irl. 9/10

Garrett/Rory - pls match with me Garrett. 8/10

Hazel - ??? 4/10

Hugo/Marco - unpopular opinion but I really really dislike him. he's constantly flirting with someone behind Sally's back, I'd call that cheating, and yet you can never be upfront with him. I choose the friendliest options every time and yet he persists. 1/10

Jaden/Skylar - everyone's obsessed with Skylar and I haven't found him yet. curious to see what the hype is about. 5/10

Jamie/Seth - I've heard so little about these two. curious but only vaguely. 5/10

Jasmin/Kayla - pleasantly surprised by how much I like her? I feel like both their profiles don't reflect how they are in conversations at all. wish she and mc weren't such dumbasses tho. 5/10

Julien/William - match with me pls Julien. 6/10

Liam/Min-Jae - matched with Min-Jae briefly before I reset and I'm curious about his story, not sold yet. I'm not into kpop so it's interesting for mc to also be an outsider. 5/10

Michael/Sam - you are a child!!! I don't want to match with them tbh. 1/10

Nicholas - I like the concept but because mc keeps worrying he's pranking them, he sometimes reminds me of those people who are really into historical rp to the point where they pretend to not understand modern life. that da Vinci pic is hilarious. I wish you had the option to talk about being queer in the 18th century with him!! 6/10

Nick - ??? 4/10

Oliver/Stefan - no. 1/10

Raphael/Wyatt - Wyatt looks too much like Shaggy for me 😂 curious to talk to Raphael tho. 4/10

Sage/Vitoria - big titty goth gf. love her. she's not a werewolf yet in my game but I am waiting respectfully. also wish mc wasn't such an asshole after she ditches the first date. 8/10

Sheng/Tomas - idk enough. curious. 4/10

Theo - so mad I missed them. come back. be queer with me. 7/10

Tiros - as long as you don't think too much about how centaur sex works he is so much fun. sexy constantly shirtless man lost on a beach trying to reclaim his honour. sign me up. 6/10

[dazed--xx]

Useless

Request: Can you do a one shot were you fight and he says something that really hurt you bc you were insecure about that and then you act kinda distant and idk can it fluff and angst pretty please 🥺 I love your blog 💜(tae)

Summary:  “Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

Member: Taehyung x Idol!reader

Word Count: 2,276

Genre: Angst, light smut, light fluff

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF ABUSE

A/N: Shout out to the reader who requested my first Tae one shot, hope you enjoy. I got some big things planned to come out so i hope yall follow make sure you check out my masterlist for other stories 

(Not my gif)

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“Y/N!!” Tae shouts from the living room finally acknowledging my presence for the first time today. Waking me from a dead sleep, that falling feeling startling. “Y/N!!!” His voice booming. Sluggishly, WHAT TIME IS IT?? 1:54 am the alarm clock reads I scream into the pillow and make my wake to the living room. The bright light blinding, Tae on the couch with Jungkook. “Yes?” the annoyance in my tone evident. “We’re hungry can you make us something please?” THE FUCKING NERVE!!!! I roll my eyes “Did you speak to me for the last 16 hours?” confusion creeping onto his face at my passive aggressive attitude. Jungkook’s face contorts obviously uncomfortable. “I was just asking you to make us food, no need to be a bitch about it ill just order out” He snaps back “and by the way if you have something to fucking say then say it I don’t appreciate the off handed comments especially when you could have come to me as well and speak to me..” his eyes roll, Jungkook eyeing the door “WELL!.... this has been......fun. I'm gonna head out. Sorry Y/N didn’t mean to upset you” I smile at his friendliness. “Goodnight Jungkookie, I'll see you next time okay I'm sorry to make you feel uncomfortable.” I escort him out the door.  

Tae’s eyes fuming as I turn around. “Look what you fucking did! You made him leave all because of you’re stupid fucking attitude!” He shouts, throwing his controller on the ground smashing it. “You couldn’t just say you didn’t fucking feel like it instead of pushing my friend out the fucking door” fear creeping up in my body. Me and Tae have fought before but he’s never raised his voice like this. He’s never been THIS angry before. “Tae, I’m sorry but I was sleeping and-” “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU WERE DOING?” his terrifying voice booming. Tears sting my eyes all my anger from the day boiling over as the confession spews out of my mouth “NO YOU DON’T BECAUSE YOU NEVER FUCKING CARE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK I DO TODAY WAS A CLEAR INDICATION OF THAT NO? YOU HAVE A FUCKING DAY OFF AND YOU LITERALLY SPEND IT IGNORING ME AND PLAYING YOUR STUPID ASS GAME. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A WALK WITH ME AND YOURE TOO TIRED. I ASK YOU TO TAKE A NAP WITH ME YOU WANT TO BE UP. SO, WHAT THE FUCK IS IT HUH? SO, WHEN I FINALLY, FINALLY FALL ASLEEP YOU WANT TO FUCKING WAKE ME UP TO ASK ME TO COOK FOR YOU AND JUNGKOOK?????????”  

“Maybe I wanted to have some time to myself for a change? Did you ever think about that? Maybe I didn’t want some clingy leach attached to my hip at every second of the fucking day... I finally wanted to be able to fucking breathe. Like damn I can see why your parents didn’t want you... you're fucking useless....” The foul insults like venom. Useless... He thinks you're useless...

*10 YEARS AGO,*

“Y/N! YOU RUINED IT! IT WAS MY FAVORITE AND YOU BROKE IT!!” My older sister shouts, as her hand harshly cracks along my cheek. Tears stream down my face, “I'm sorry, I didn’t mean to...” I whimper. The mirror on the ground shattered like my heart, my sisters rough hand shoves me to my knees. Glass stabbing at my skin like a thousand knives, her hand in my hair. “CLEAN IT NOW!!!” Her shouting alerts my mother. “Y/S/N? What's going on?” My mother's soft voice asks as she comes into the room. “Tsk....Y/N what did you do now?” Annoyance in her tone, her eyes rolling. “She broke my mirror. She broke my favorite mirror....she's so useless mom why is she here she needs to go.” My sister whined.  

“Let her go, Y/N pick this up and come to my room...” the tone dark. Fear taking a hold of my chest. Whilst cleaning the mirror my sisters torture did not end glass penetrated my hand every time, she shoved me over as I held each shard with care. Dread fills me as the mirror is completely clean. Slowly, I trek to my mother's room my 12-year-old frame trembling as I stand in front of my mother's door heart beating threatening to burst out of my chest.  

“Y/N LETS GO NOW” my mother shouts from the other side of the door. The beating didn’t last too long the pain only temporary; the lecture lasted a lifetime the pain forever. “Why do you have to be so damn useless huh? It's like you enjoy ruining our lives, you never seem to do anything right and I'm so god damn tired of fucking covering for you. SO, you need to go, I don’t care where it is you go but it's not here. I want you out by tomorrow and don’t take none of that expensive shit that’s mine”. I was out within the hour, terrified of what may come if I lasted until tomorrow. Rushing out of the door at 3 am with all of my essential belongings in hand, with no destination in sight.  

Months go by living all around Seoul at parks, bus stations, motels when I get really lucky. Singing in the street to come up with a few dollars to eat. Some days I didn’t make enough and I would slip items in my clothes, becoming quite the “artist”.  One day, I’m singing in front of a small store front 2 gentlemen dressed lavishly listening intently phone recording as my verse comes to an end. Their eyes burning holes into me as a blush creeps up onto my face. The crowd disperses at the top of my hat a business card BIG HIT ENTERTAINMENT. Confusion strikes me turning the card over. A small hand written note and address on the back ��TOMORROW 2 PM’. My heart races WHAT????

*TRAINEE DAYS*

“Y/N-AH STOP BEING SO DAMN USELESS AND PLEASE HIT THE BEAT ON THE RIGHT COUNT!” My groups dance lead, Hye-un shouts. Fury in her eyes, “Seriously we probably would have debuted by now if you could do something right like you can't sing, you can't dance...what can you do huh?? Stand there? Remember you’re only here because Namjoon oppa felt bad for you.” her words cut like knives. “Namjoon oppa thinks I'm good..” I mutter weakly, under my breathe as tears slide down my face. Every girl laughs, “No, honestly no one does like come on, you can't see it, He felt bad for you idiot. You were homeless and needed a place to go.” Jisoo snaps. Her words breaking my heart, grabbing my bag and dashing toward the door. They won't get to see me cry...not like that... not for them.  

Running down the hallway, hunting for the farthest studio away from them to release my demons. THUD! “Oof DUDE WATCH WHERE YO-” The loud voice cut off “LOOK IM NOT IN THE FUCKING MOOD MOVE” I shout as I stand up to run past the stranger. “Damn... Okay... rude... are you okay though you look like you’re crying” He says as I wipe my eyes getting a clear view of the man that I've collided with. A blush instantly creeping on my face as the familiar face becomes recognizable and my head shoots down, Taehyung oppa. All the anger in me fades quickly as the god like man shifted. My voice is shaky, “IM SO SORRY, I wasn’t paying attention. I'm just having a rough morning. I should get going, I'm so sorry... I..Um...S-Sorry” He chuckles “Ha, you said that already...3 times in fact” a small giggle escapes my lips.

“So, I know you don’t know me or anything but I’m a great listener. Maybe you can tell me what's going on, it might help” He says sincerely. Hesitant, I look down “um....-” “Look, don’t worry if you don’t want to physically tell me give me your number you can text it to me then that way you and I don’t have to be face to face and it can help you to get more out that sound good?” I nod as he pulls out his phone and asks for mine. His number in my phone as Tae<3. A smile creeps up onto my face as he pulls me into a hug. My body melts into his like I've known him for years. “Okay so I'll talk to you later” A smile on his face as he walks off.  

Blushing, as realization dawns on me as I pull my phone out to text him.  

*PRESENT*  

From there I told Tae everything, my fears, my past, insecurities. Useless....that's all I’ve ever been. My sobs no longer able to be held back as they barrel their way through my chest. “F-fin-ne then Tae you won't have to worry about me being in your way anymore” I whisper as I turn around and walk into the bedroom Tae and I share. Locking the door behind me I curl up in bed and let the tears take over me. Mama never loved you, the girls never wanted you to debut with them, they made you go solo because of how useless the group thought you were, You're so fucking useless to Tae. I ruin fucking everything I'm sorry Tae. The tears putting you to sleep eventually.  

TAE’S POV  

FUCK!! FUCK!! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK! YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO???????!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!! The regret fills my mind as the bedroom door locks in my face. Her sobs filling the apartment, my heart cracking at the sound. Sitting outside of the door listening to the love of my life cry herself to sleep in our bedroom, alone, because of me. Baby I'm so sorry...you know I never would mean anything like that, but the words never come out.  

Nothing can physically come out as my heart pounds in my throat terrified of what tomorrow could bring. Would she leave? NO! Tae don’t think like that Y/N loves you and she’ll know you could never mean that...right? Tears streaming down my face at the thought. You fucked up...you fucking hurt her in one of the worst fucking ways possible. There's no way she's going to forgive you. Trudging back to the couch as I let the tears consume me.  

Y/N’S POV

The sun beaming in my eyes, burning, as I blink myself awake. Eyes sore, Tae’s words resting at the front of my mind. Making my way to the restroom, the second the door is open Tae is in front of me on his knees. “Baby, I’m an asshole okay but I love you and-and I'm sorry” He pleads as he wraps his arms around my waist head resting against my stomach. Disgust filling me, “Move, I have to use the restroom” Tae’s saddened figure retreats back to the living room defeated. Tears stream down my face as the hot water from the shower soaks me. My pain evident, Tae shuffling outside of the bathroom door every few minutes whispering to himself before disappearing back into the living room.  

Placing one of my tank tops and sweat pants on, I make my way out of the bathroom. Tae rushing behind me as I walk back into the bed room. The saddened puppy looks still on his face. His regret in his eyes, his face is puffy and red proof he’s been crying over his words. The sight weakening my angry state as he reaches for my face and looks into my eyes caressing my cheek. His gaze drifting to my lips, slowly leaning forward he brushes his lips against mine looking for some form of consent. My eyes close as he presses forward and kisses me with so much emotion, his tongue delving in to my mouth and tasting me. A slight moan released from his lips as he presses me against the bedroom door slamming it shut. He lifts my right leg over his waist pulling me closer, as lips slide down to my neck. The way his tongue attacks my neck, drawing a puddle in my panties, his member grinding against me hard as a rock. The need for more grows inside me as Tae pulls his lips off of my body as he whispers in my ear his voice shaky and terrified “I-I’m so s-sorry, I love you and you’re not useless. I didn’t mean it. I could never mean it, you’re perfect I swear. And I'm such an ass for saying something like that there’s no excuse for what I said but please, okay, I'm BEGGING you don’t leave me.”  

A tear slides down my face as he shakes, crying into my ear wrapping his arms around my waist. Tae’s sadness washing away any animosity toward him at his words. “Baby... you hurt me but I'd never leave you. You're all I have and I'm never giving you up” I hug him back. His smile against my neck. “I don’t deserve you.....I'm sorry” I nod and run my hands through his hair. “SO! Were you just being a tease or are you gonna finish what you started?” I ask seductively as I put Tae’s hand in my pants, a smirk creeps onto his face.  

“Oh, Kitten, I have so many plans for us today”  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #288

“i never believed the devil was real, but god couldn’t make someone filthy as you”

When was the last time you drove or travelled for over an hour? Where did you go? Around a month back, I rode with Mom and my sister to my mom’s doc appointment. When you get old, are you going to let your hair go gray or dye it instead? Haha, I don’t see my desire to dye my hair wild colors ever fading. What genre was the last book you read? Was it any good? Fantasy. It was very good. Did you ever wear braces on your teeth? Yes. What’s your favorite condiment to have with sausages or hot dogs (or the vegetarian equivalent)? I just have ketchup and mustard. Which fictional character can you relate to the most? Is this a character from film, TV or a book? I dunno, there’s just so many to dig through. I’ve never felt a *strong* connection to any. Do you groom your eyebrows? If so, how? Not really anymore. Do you own any photo albums? Are they dedicated to special occasions or just a random selection of photos? We have old ones stored in a cabinet somewhere. I haven’t looked at them in a long time, but I think they’re loosely bound by time periods. What’s your favorite meal of the day - breakfast, lunch, or dinner? Breakfast, for sure. Who was the last person you texted? How do you know that person? Sara. She’s my best friend. What was the reason behind the last time you shouted or raised your voice? It wasn’t severe at all, but I raised my voice to tell Roman to stop clawing at the carpet. Are you a citizen of more than one country? Would you ever use that advantage to move abroad? No. Have you ever read any of John Green’s books? If so, which one is your favorite? I barely started The Fault in Our Stars, and that’s it. I’m quite sure I would if I actually read them, though. Are you a protective person? UM ONLY JUST SLIGHTLY. Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No. There’s been very, very mild ones here, and the one “big” one (which, mind you, was only big enough to make the pool water barely tremble) that’s happened in my lifetime I wasn’t even home for; I was hours away at the zoo. According to Facebook outrage much more recently, my area experienced a teeny-tiny one, but I sure didn’t feel it. Are you a fan of penguins? Omg yes, such darlings. So intelligent, too. I particularly love emperor penguins. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. Are you a good painter? I’ve been told so. Before buying a car, do you usually test drive it? I’ve never been in this position. When was the last time you met someone for the first time? Ummm I dunno. Maybe Nicole’s ex? Have you ever cooked with crab or lobster? Could you ever bring yourself to kill a live lobster/crab? No and no. I hate the taste of both. Squishy and just… ew. Which fast food restaurant do you go to the most? What do you tend to order when you go there? Being the cheapest, probably McDonald’s? I usually get a double cheeseburger and small or medium fry. Does it bother you when dogs jump up at you? Does it bother you less if it’s a smaller dog? Nah. I mean their claws can hurt, but it’s all worth a dog’s love, haha. What kind of animal did you touch last? Was this animal one of your pets? I pet my cat Roman last. How would you describe your sense of humor? Have you ever offended someone when you were only joking? Seeing as I don’t even find myself funny, idk how to answer that. I don’t believe I’ve ever offended anyone with a joke. When was the last time you cried - what caused it? It was literally last night when I was really deeply thinking about stuff I’ve been running from. What’s your favorite flavor of potato chip? You can’t beat the original ruffled kind, imo. Do you prefer fruit or vegetable juice? What kind of flavors do you like? I love fruit juice, but you’ll never see me even try vegetable juice. I enjoy lots of fruit ones: mango (my favorite), pineapple, strawberry, watermelon, orange, apple… Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? How did you meet this person? If you mean via a call and not texting, that would be my psychiatrist. I met him during my partial hospitalization. He helped save my life. Who was your first celebrity crush? Which celebrity do you like now? Jesse McCartney /swoons. Now I’m a l l about Mark Fischbach like jesus fucking Christ lord- Do you usually sleep with your closet door open or closed? It’s closed. What’s your favorite love movie? The Notebook. Afraid of heights? Kinda, yeah. Do you take a vitamin daily? Not daily, no, but I have to take Vitamin D once a week. Wal-Mart, Target, or K-Mart? Wal-Mart. Is K-Mart even still around? Cheetos Or Fritos? Cheetos; I don’t really like the latter. Are you patient? N O P E, not unless it’s really called for. Which are better black or green olives? I hate olives. Black aren’t as awful, though. Who was your high school crush? Ha, Jason surpassed “crush” by a lighyear. Have you ever had your computer or e-mail hacked? Did anything bad happen as a result? No to both, but I’ve had my Facebook hacked. Nothing too bad happened. Do you prefer the company of people or animals? Animals, for sure. I need human company sometimes too, though. When was the last time you went to the beach? What did you do there? A few years ago when Colleen and I were still friends. The water felt fucking incredible, so I swam a lot, and then I just chilled with her, her husband, and their then-infant son under the umbrella. I still got insane sun poisoning, though. What kind of milk do you prefer to drink (if you drink it at all)? 1-2%. Skim is gross and whole is too thick. When was the last time you wore some kind of fancy dress? That witchy photoshoot I mentioned in I think the last survey. Do you enjoy dressing up (ie. in suits or smart clothing)? When was the last time you did so? Ugh, no. Too much effort and usually not very comfortable. See above answer for the second part. What’s worse - being overdressed or underdressed? I think the latter would embarrass me more. What do you think would be the worst thing about being stuck in solitary confinement? Being alone with only your head for “sound.” And if you’re in solitary, odds are your head isn’t in a good place, so it just makes it worse. How old were you when you learned to tie your shoelaces? Idk, but I know I learned it the “wrong” way first from Dad. It always annoyed Mom because they weren’t tight enough, apparently. Do you enjoy decorating for the holidays? For the most part, honestly not really. I love SEEING places decorated, but hate doing it myself. So much effort for sometimes not even a month’s worth of enjoyment. Would you rather go into a restaurant or just go via the drive-thru? I prefer the drive-thru. Do you like having your teeth cleaned at the dentist? Yeah, even if there may be a bit of pain here and there. It feels nice afterwards. Have you ever had a gun drawn on you before? YIKES, NO. When was the last time you went to a petting zoo? I probably haven’t since I was a baby. How old were you when you first started using Tumblr? Have you had the same blog all that time? Idr, but I know I was waaaay late to the party. I’ve had the same since the start, though. Are you a fan of Reddit? What are some of your favorite subreddits? I’ve never used it. Have you ever watched those YouTube videos of people popping their own spots or zits? Do you find them gross or fascinating? EW EW EW EW NO. They gross me the FUCK out. What’s a food you hated as a kid but love now? How about vice versa? Hmmm… I only know vice-versa, really. I loved peas as a baby, but now it’s a “fuck no” from me, man. Do you prefer socks, shoes or going bare foot? Bare feet, at least where it makes sense. Are you currently in the second story of a building? No; my house doesn't have a second floor. Who was the last music artist you listened to a song by? Ozzy. Have you ever written or drew something on a dollar bill? No. What was your favorite childhood game to play with your friends? We played lots of things, but I guess "Categories" in the pool probably wins. Basically the person on one end of the pool had to guess somebody on the other side's favorite in a certain topic, and if they guessed it right, you raced the other person to the opposite side. Whoever got there fastest was the next guesser. Where did you get your favorite pet from? My favorite pet of all time, my old dog Teddy, we got as a puppy from a friend of a friend. Her cocker spaniel had a massive litter and adopted the babies out. Have you ever called animal control on anyone? Not me personally, no. I think my mom did when our childhood neighbor's two rottweilers got loose and killed at least one of our kittens of the time; she was livid because it wasn't the first time they got out and attacked our cats, and of course us kids were absolutely devastated. I think they got off with a warning. Do you prefer wearing hoodies to coats? Yeah, especially slightly oversized. Is there anything written on the shirt you are wearing? No, it's just a black tank top. Have you ever been to another continent? No. Do you ever go out of your way to avoid someone? Not really. What was your last voicemail about? I don't even have a voicemail set up, so. Are you currently wearing a belt?I haven't worn belts since high school. How much was gas the last time you looked? I think $1.99. Is there someone who would support you no matter what? My mom, probably. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?I REALLY don't want to think about this one. Do you still get carded when you try and buy things you’re old enough to? I very rarely order one, but I don't really get carded for drinks at restaurants anymore. Do you know anyone fluent in a really uncommon language? Not that I know of. Do you kiss on the first date? This would depend on a lot of things. Odds are though, no. When was the last time you slept on something other than a bed? I've got no clue. How do you feel about the last person you shared a kiss with? I love her. Describe your current mood: Hopeless. Confused. Aimless. Exasperated. Just depressed. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? I mean, somewhat, but also not really. I don't believe life exists by chance, so whoever/whatever made that decision obviously had some reason - but not for each person in particular, I believe. I highly doubt something/someone thought out extravagant stories for every single thing that lives. I believe we give ourselves a reason. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? Absolutely nothing, off the top of my head. What were you doing 10 years ago? I woulda been 14, almost 15... so starting high school. I was in school with actual goals and confidence I'd do great in life, despite my depression being in full swing. Did you ever have a MySpace? Yup... Still remember Natasha Bedingfield's "Pocketful of Sunshine" was the song on my meerkat-slathered page too, haha. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? I don't believe in breaks, period. You don't turn love on and off. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no, would you create one? If yes, what’s your content? Yeah, but it's not one that seriously produces content. Its primary purpose is just to like, favorite, and rarely comment on stuff while having recommendations catered to my interests. I used to make GMV/AMV-type things and mostly Meerkat Manor tributes, as well as various MEP parts because BOY could I only accomplish very short videos. I no longer have "professional" video editing software (I'd always pirated it before, anyway...) nor the necessary motivation and patience to make them anymore. Are you a math person? Heeeeeeeell no. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? No to both. When do you think things will be normal again? Who the fuck knows. It'll probably be a couple years, at least. Do you watch anime? If I'm watching television, yeah, I like some animes. Do you like TikTok? Never used it. Do you ever miss Vine? YO Vine was fuckin FUNNY If you're in school, are you doing it on Zoom or in class? I'm not in school, so. But if I was and in-person classes were expected, guess who the fuck isn't going with how serious I am about social distancing. Lives come before education. Would you ever have a pet rat? I've had a handful, but I don't think I will again. Their cages require so much cleaning, and they need more socialization than I'm able to provide. I fucking adore them, though. Favorite memory with your best friend? It's weird, we've "seen" each other for only like, a month's collective time, and I'm not sure of my answer because there's so many. Have you ever dated someone more than twice your age? No. Have you ever “dined and dashed”? No, I never could. Have you ever been cut off by a bartender because you were too drunk? No. Have you ever borrowed money from your mom & lied about why you needed it? I don't think so. Have you ever dated someone just because they had money? Fuck no. Have you ever lied to your spouse about the money you spent shopping? N/A, but I wouldn't. Have you ever flirted with a cop to get out of a ticket? No. Have you ever lied during a job interview? Me? Social? People person? Well duh, of course I am. Have you ever switched tags on an item to pay less for it? No, that's awful. Have you taken any pics of yourself that you wouldn't want your parents to see? Actually no. Did you ever get fired and tell someone you were laid off? No. Have you ever turned in a school paper that someone else wrote for you? Absolutely not. I liked writing papers anyway and am very serious about creative honesty. Do you feel accepted by your BF/GF’s family? N/A If you were an employer, would you hire someone with your exact work ethic? Well, what's the job? Have you ever trashed your ex’s car after an argument? No. The only thing I ever did to his car was decorate it for his birthday lmao. Have you ever done something because of peer pressure you are ashamed of? I don't think so, no. Have you ever been embarrassed to introduce your parents to anyone? No. Would you leave a note on a car claiming responsibility if you damaged it? Yes. The guilt otherwise would be unbearable. Have you ever used someone's handicapped parking pass to get a parking spot? Ew, no. Have you ever held back a well-deserved compliment because you were jealous? I wouldn't put me past it lately. For yourself, would you rather have a perfect body or high IQ? I hate my body so fuckin much that I'll take the first, please. Have you ever used a false ID? Nope. Are you embarrassed to tell people your job? I'm embarrassed to admit I don't HAVE a job. If you ran over an animal would you keep driving? Oh my god no, I'd have to stop to break the fuck down. Ever lie about you (or your kids') age to get a discount? Ha, I'm sure my parents would sometimes at restaurants when I was young. Do you really care about saving the planet for future generations? A LOT. Have you gotten close to anyone recently? Not really. Do you remember the first conversation you had with the person you have feelings for? No, but I can assure you it probably wasn't nice lmao. Have you ever gotten a D or F on your report card? Not until college. If you had twins, would you give them rhyming names? No. What are you listening to? "Radio" by Rammstein is on atm. Have you ever fallen into a mud puddle? Maybe as a kid. But that might'a been on purpose, lol. Are you scared of spiders? To a degree. Like, I want a few tarantulas but will scream and jump five feet the moment I see a huge spider beside me unexpectantly. I think they are very, very fascinating and important, but I also prefer to give them distance. Unless I have a camera in hand, haha. Do you think that crying is a form of weakness? Absolutely not. Have you ever slept on a couch with someone? Yeah. Last person to call you? Some number from Mississippi??????????? Ever feel like you have been replaced? Oh yes.

[vivitalks]

another one! i stole it from @bentylershook​ because i’m a self-obsessed punk and they said anyone could do it so WHATEVER

When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? well i TRY to have more cereal

Do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? NO I DO NOT, it makes me VERY COLD

How do you take your coffee/tea? coffee as a mocha frappucino, tea with milk and sugar (always english breakfast). i’m very particular.

Do you keep plants? nope, i would forget to feed them and they’d die

What artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? i write a lot, especially in a journal

Do you like singing/humming to yourself? so, annoyingly, much

What’s something that made you smile today? hmm well my pal grace kept texting me about her cool hotel, which made me smile. AND i got coffee with a kind of distanced friend, which was really really fun. 

What’s your favorite pasta dish? mac and cheese!

What’s your favorite eye color? i don’t have a favorite but blue eyes are pretty...although my sister has really pretty like...hazel eyes idk all eyes are pretty shhh

What’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? like...fruit flavored. bubble gum tastes too sweet and...bubble gum-y, and i hate mint flavored things

What is your opinion of socks? Do you like wearing weird socks? Do you sleep with socks? Do you confine yourself to white sock hell? Really, just talk about socks. My opinion of socks is they’re underrated and a great addition to the world. they’re like socially acceptably slippers. i only wear ankle socks, though. the other ones are uncomfortable. I do sleep with socks because my hands and feet get cold really easily, and i DON’T trust white clothing, socks included.

What’s your fave pastry? crepes or donuts

Tell us about your pet peeves! y’all don’t wanna know all of them but i hate when people who can’t sing well think that they can sing well. i know that’s a personal problem but it drives me CRAZY. also hate people who walk slowly in school hallways. also hate people who, uh, tear other people down just for the sake of feeling superior. also, people who make condescending comments about, like, attire? very unnecessary. also when my siblings (especially the younger ones) ignore me trying to reason with them. and so on

Think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? i’m wearing it right now! it is a gold-colored arrow with, like, rhinestones, on a gold-colored chain. my older sister and i went shopping one time and we bought matching ones from claire’s for like eight dollars. wait, maybe i can find a picture. yes, i found one!

Do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! yeah it’s starbucks lol what can i say i’m uncultured and have basic tastes. i also just...like, haven’t drunk a lot of coffee in my life yet

Do you trust your instincts? yes, but i also challenge them, and if they hold up under scrutiny, i tend to think they’re legit

What food do you think should be banned from the universe?

i’ll say tilapia because i really don’t like how it tastes

Do you like buying CDs and records? What was the last one you bought? i bought...oh man, it’s been awhile. i have no idea. i don’t buy CDs or records because i don’t have a record player and i like to have my music available on my ipod so i usually buy music on itunes

Think of a person. what song do you associate with them? my friend Sam Craig from Brazil, and Rather Be by Clean Bandit. i have a very specific memory.

Do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i like some poetry. my favorite two are: the love song of j. alfred prufrock by t.s. eliot, and the road not taken by robert frost. 

What’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever received? uh...my parents bought me this lightbulb that has a remote control and when it’s on your can use the remote to change the colors. that’s kinda dumb i guess cuz i don’t use it

What’s winter like where you live? right now it’s ENDLESS but it’s usually just cold and snowy. a regular winter.

What are your favorite board games? i don’t really like board games...like at all. i like word on the street. and the game of life. and pay day.

Is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? sleeping. also, finishing that quarter assessment thing for my chorus class. also, writing my newsies royalty au that i just started.

Are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? HATE

Are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? right now i have neutral plans on tattoos. luckily i have a whole lot of time to decide if i want one. i know they’re super permanent, and painful, so i’m hesitant. but if i found something truly, deeply meaningful, i might get a tattoo. i’m not opposed!

Are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i don’t know what this means. grace likes impressionism so that one

Talk about one of your favorite cities. okay, well, i’ll talk about rio de janeiro. it’s not my favorite city, but i know it well. where i lived, you could walk to the beach. in lower leblon, you could walk anywhere. restaurants, bookstores, grocery stores...everything was within reach. lots of my friends lived nearby. the beach is lined with numbered posts so you know how far you’ve gone - it’s a mile between each one. there’s a canal runs through it. everyone lives in an apartment and there’s always a doorman and an elevator. my apartment had a pool. it was a complex. and very awesome. it’s very hot in rio but everyone is friendly and you can wear flip-flops literally anywhere. if you’re so inclined, you can be barefoot. i know brazil is wicked corrupt now, but...i do love rio.

Where do you plan on traveling this year? this year this year? not school year? i’ll probably visit my grandparents in MA and i’ll definitely be doing college visits in pennsylvania, massachusetts, and new york. i will also be visiting new york for other reasons, shows and whatnot. we’ll see about going to israel, but depending on the schedule of our lives, i might go there this year to visit my sister who’s doing a gap year there.

Myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, i’m pretty sure; leo; ravenclaw.

i wasn’t tagged so i tag nobody and everybody! steal this from me! talk about yourself! attaboy

[hellyeahomeland]

HIDE YOUR DOGS. LOCK YOUR DOORS: In which Sara and Ashley finally recount what happened during last year’s finale

[Alternate title: GMTA.]

[Ashley and I have alluded to our whirlwind of a day during last year’s finale many times on various podcasts but we’ve never actually talked about what went on. Since we’re now a full season later, and once again watching the finale together, we thought we’d chat about that crazy night, and how we’re attempting to prevent another disaster from occurring this year (at least as far as we can control). --Sara]

Ashley: Okay, hello to my friend who is sitting 18 inches away from me.

Sara: oh hi!

Sara: i feel like we should be sitting on opposite sides of each other so you can't read what i am writing

Ashly: would you like a glass of wine or is it too early?

Sara: mm it's almost 4

Ashley: ok brb afk

Sara: what is afk

Sara: ty for getting me wine

Ashley: cheers!

Sara: Cheers!! 🙄

Sara: I meant that to be a 😘

Sara: they are just next to each other on my most used emojis

Ashley: i have not received an eyeroll emoji in a really long time

Ashley: times have changed

Sara: they sho have

Ashley speaking of times changing

Sara: and SHO

Ashley: you are very funny sara

Sara: ikr

Ashley: ya

Ashley: anyhoozles

Sara: i'm glad that word has caught on

Ashley: yeah with me

Sara: me too!

Ashley: ANY

Ashley: HOOZLES

Sara: ANYHOOZLES

Sara: today is the day of the finale, which you forgot about

Sara: and i want to talk about what we were doing LAST year for the finale

Ashley: we are coming atcha from across my friend’s kitchen table

Sara: this is a story we tried to tell on the podcast like 4 separate times

Ashley: last year for the finale was so good

Ashley: i know you think it was a disaster but it was a REALLY FUN DAY

Sara: that weekend started out kinda shitty though

Ashley: omg

Ashley: because my flight got canceled

Sara: remember your flight got canceled

Sara: JINX

Ashley: yep

Sara: it was v stressful but you ended up making it to chicago

Ashley: the weather had been horrific in boston all weekend, so flights were impossible. i ended up flying to indianapolis.

Sara: for some reason i had not internalized that you were vegan-ish then so i got like cheese and crackers for some reason idk

Sara: so much has changed in the past year

Ashley: did you? you got me cinnamon sugar pita chips from trader joes.

Sara: yes i did

Sara: later we got chicago vodka

Ashley: we did!

Ashley: but i think we did that on saturday

Sara: and remember you saw someone in trader joe's that was a friend of a friend? that was freaky

Ashley: yeah and i only knew him because i was wearing a t-shirt for the crossfit my friend owned

Ashley: and he was all, “do you know the lady who owns it?"

Ashley: no, dumbass, i just bought this random-ass shirt

Sara: in hindsight that was probably the beginning of your long con to make me believe this person existed

Ashley: anyway we got vodka

Ashley: and wine

Ashley: hahahaha

Ashley: i talked to her on the phone last night and you HEARD ME, i ignored you for 45 minutes because i am a good hostess

Ashley: i left you to the dogs

Ashley: do you think people are going to really want to read this sara

Sara: ok but saturday was brunch and hamilton and you went to take a nap but ended up sleeping the rest of the night

Ashley: i did!

Sara: SUNDAY

Sara: ok on sunday

Sara: finale day

Sara: LAST YEAR'S FINALE DAY

Ashley: we went to a white sox game

Ashley: and they lost

Sara: yes that was fun as fuck

Ashley: and we drank alcoholic root beer

Sara: that was delicious!

Ashley: which was the beginning of a D E S C E N T

Sara: yes

Ashley: your phone is buzzing

Sara: it was really hot that day too

Ashley: do you want to check it

Sara: i just did it's ok

Ashley: it was! was i wearing a hot pink running skirt?

Sara: idr

Sara: i have a pic from that day

Ashley: me too but it’s just our faces

Ashley: i was wearing a white sox shirt

Ashley: and we went to navy pier

Ashley: and rode the ferris wheel

Sara: look how long my hair is! look how red yours is

Sara: we went to navy pier and the ferris wheel on saturday

Ashley: oh i forgot i had that necklace

Ashley: REMEMBER HOW RED MY HAIR WAS IN THE SUN????

Sara: SUNDAY we went to two separate locations to buy a tv

Ashley: oh was that saturday?? yeah that makes sense.

Ashley: right, we had to buy a tv.

Sara: for anyone still reading this

Ashley: because the tv in our airbnb was not HDMI equipped

Sara: the airbnb where we were staying did not have HDMI hook-ups

Ashley: i was like “we can watch on my computer” and you were like

Sara: so we couldn't hook up a roku

Ashley: IT IS THE FINALE

Sara: yes, i don't play around with that shit

Ashley: you brought your apple tv too

Sara: we went to target first

Ashley: we were both prepared

Ashley: we just wanted to buy the shitty roku that has the AV cables but technology has advanced

Sara: and were like "do you have a roku that just hooks up with the red/yellow/white cables"

Sara: and the guy said they did but he was mistaken

Ashley: okay really we are the same person so like

Ashley: we’re just typing the same things

Sara: we're both telling the same story

Sara: ok i will finish

Sara: the story

Ashley: i know but we do this all the time

Ashley: SARA BOUGHT A WHOLE TV

Sara: we do remember when we both had the same question about why you would still PMS after you had a hysterectomy

Ashley: AND IT LIVED IN HER CAR UNTIL SHE MOVED TO NEW YORK

Sara: true story

Sara: I BOUGHT THE FUCKING TV

Ashley: that wasn’t the question

Sara: we went to best buy

Ashley: the question was where the eggs would go if you still had your ovaries but no uterus

Sara: oh yeah

Sara: i had to ask my mom

Ashley: shouts out to our friend who recently got de-utez

Ashley: ed

Ashley: de-utezed

Sara: the answer by the way

Sara: is that the eggs are just re-absorbed into your body

Sara: the human body is so silly!

Sara: BACK TO OUR STORY

Ashley: that entire quote is sara’s mom

Ashley: she was like “i don’t ask what makes my car work"

Sara: no my mom said the human body is amazing

Sara: and i said the human body is silly

Sara: OK BACK TO OUR STORY FOR REAL

Ashley: there is a dog outside

Ashley: the dogs inside are going crazy

Sara: much barks

Ashley: woofs!

Sara: dogs is going crazy*

Ashley: yes thank you

Ashley: BACK TO OUR STORY

Sara: so we get to best buy

Ashley: sara bought a tv and we had to uber it 12 minutes back to the apartment

Sara: and i ask the best buy man which of the TVs have HDMI hook-ups

Sara: and he's like "um all of them it's the year 2017"

Sara: and i said "ok i need to buy the cheapest tv because i really only want to watch one thing on it"

Sara: so i bought a tv

Sara: it was like $100

Sara: i intended to return it

Sara: but that did not happen

Ashley: i think it was $132

Sara: shit that's expensive

Sara: i'm so ridiculous

Sara: 132 american dollars to watch that shit ass finale

Ashley: i wonder if the best buy man’s ears are ringing

Sara: i'm sure he's reading this

Ashley: hi best buy man

Sara: anyway we uber'd back to the airbnb to drop the tv off

Sara: then went to the white sox game where they lost

Sara: THEN we went to the liquor store

Sara: to buy liquor

Sara: bc after 2 drinks at the baseball game that seemed like a good idea

Ashley: no we just went back to trader joe's

Sara: [we just had a verbal argument about whether we got the liquor at a liquor store or trader joe's]

Sara: [ashley was right]

Ashley: [ashley is often right]

Ashley: we also bought wine from walgreens

Sara: which is what i remembered as a liquor store

Sara: we bought cupcake wine in honor of carrie mathison

Sara: and some red bull

Sara: for red bull and vodka

Ashley: oh god the red bull

Ashley: because as you know ashley is sleepy

Sara: that was the first (AND LAST) time i ever had red bull + vodka

Sara: we pre-gamed with the red bull/vodka

Sara: by the time the episode had started we were drinking the pinot grigio

Ashley: and we got a bottle of whispering angel which i am also drinking tonight

Sara: ew

Sara: i can't drink that anymore

Sara: blech

Ashley: but i only have a little bit left

Ashley: i bought better wine for later

Ashley: remember? you were there.

Sara: ya i was there we got octopus wine too

Sara: AND PRETZELS

Ashley: how stoked were you when the OA said her fave food was pretzels

Sara: 

Ashley: and wtf kind of question is that to ask a woman who has been subsisting on fucking nutrition pellets for however long

Sara: i didn't feel like i drank that much

Sara: during last year's finale

Sara: but we somehow drank the entire bottle of pinot grigio despite me feeling like i had at most 1 glass

Ashley: wait am i going to have to tell the whole story of all of my adventures that night or can we skip it

Sara: you have to tell it but we're not there yet

Ashley: shit

Ashley: ok

Sara: i remember watching that godawful finale next to you so distinctly

Sara: like... i don't really allow talking during homeland unless i initiate it

Ashley: and you broke all your rules

Sara: yes, that's what i'm getting at

Ashley: well not the phone one

Ashley: gmta

Sara: when they showed quinn being shot i was like "holy shit. they killed him"

Sara: and you punched me

Ashley: and i was like

Ashley: NO THEY DIDN'T

Sara: ya you never believed he was dead

Sara: like

Sara: ever

Ashley: the past year has been remarkably similar

Sara: lol right??

Ashley: oh god that fucking finale

Sara: while i believed from the very second 100% he was dead

Ashley: as soon as it was over we decided to record a podcast

Ashley: but we were not allowed to release it

Ashley: and sara has deleted it

Ashley: sorry guys

Ashley: she failed you

Sara: i don't remember anything from the second half of watching that episode though

Sara: i also don't remember what we talked about on the podcast

Sara: it was SUPER drunken

Ashley: well we were so drunk

Sara: ya and i checked whatsapp

Sara: and it was in a full scale panic

Sara: and i just went to bed

Ashley: you went to bed pretty much right after the finale and i went into the bedroom to check in with everybody

Sara: i was like peace out homies

Ashley: and everybody was sad so i was like “i’m not doing this"

Ashley: sigh

Ashley: okay sara went to sleep

Ashley: and ashley, for once, did not.

Sara: at like 10 so right after the drunk podcast was finished

Ashley: i went and committed a crime

Ashley: the end.

Sara: that's a great teaser

Sara: COME ON you love to tell this story

Sara: it's really funny

Ashley: dude i don’t know if i’m allowed to publicly tell it though

Ashley: i almost broke up a relationship

Sara: use code words

Sara: or euphemisms

Ashley: okay so after the episode i really wanted to talk about ANYTHING other than homeland

Sara: [typing]

Ashley: dude stop it i’m telling it

Sara: i was typing to jordan not you

Ashley: HI JORDAN

Ashley: anyway i couldn’t really handle the whatsapp chat because everybody was sad

Ashley: and i was in denial. nothing has changed.

Ashley: sara just interrupted me to verbally spoil me about the homeland finale

Ashley: “I DIDN’T SPOIL YOU, FUCKING SHOWTIME TWITTER DID” - sara

Ashley: who is not obeying her own rules

Ashley: anyway i have a friend who watches homeland, and in fact got me into homeland, but he is what some might call a “casual viewer"

Ashley: he is usually 1-2 weeks behind

Ashley: that’s not really a problem anymore now that i have ALL YOU GUYS

Ashley: but i decided that i wanted to talk to him. also, he lives in chicago. this is pertinent information.

Ashley: so i tried to call him.

Ashley: no answer.

Ashley: i tried to call him like 50 more times.

Ashley: no answer.

Ashley: i sent a bunch of texts. NO ANSWER.

Ashley: finally i just decided to go over to his house.

Ashley: which was probably a ten minute walk from our airbnb, but i took an uber.

Ashley: and i got there and i rang his buzzer.

Ashley: no answer.

Sara: you also made friends with your uber driver who called YOU like 50 times over the next month

Ashley: i rang his buzzer again. NO ANSWER.

Ashley: i did. drunk ashley is retiring after the episode tonight.

Ashley: at least until season 8.

Sara: what? --me before you sent that last message

Sara: oh ok. --me after you sent that last message

Ashley: there were some people out walking their dogs, so i petted them.

Ashley: and eventually i just followed somebody who lived in the building into the building.

Sara: that's not suspicious at all

Ashley: walked up to his apartment

Ashley: and knocked

Ashley: NO ANSWER

Ashley: knocked a few more times

Ashley: NO ANSWER

Ashley: decided, in my infinite drunkness, to try the doorknob.

Sara: the thing that opens doors

Ashley: just fyi you guys, if you have a friend like me, you might want to lock your doors.

Ashley: because i walked into his pitch-black apartment at like 11:30 at night, because he is a grown adult and he had to get up in the morning.

Ashley: and ultimately walked into his bedroom and was like DUDE.

Sara: HIDE YOUR DOGS

Sara: LOCK YOUR DOORS

Ashley: and he woke up and was like

Ashley: i’m trying to figure out how best to describe his reaction

Ashley: he opened his eyes and was like, “oh, hi.”

Ashley: that’s it that’s all that happened

Sara: if you walked into my apartment in the middle of the night without warning i'd believe first that you were a ghost

Sara: a very lifelike one

Ashley: i spent two hours in his apartment in the middle of the night complaining about how carlos sanchez was going by his original first name, ‘yolmer'

Ashley: and apparently i told him straight up that quinn died

Sara: LOL

Sara: at the yolmer part

Ashley: he complained about some things of his own

ara: what kinds of things did he complain about

Ashley: surprisingly, not about the fact that i showed up at his apartment in the middle of the night.

Ashley: we had lunch a day or two later and i was like “what the fuck is wrong with you and how are we still friends,” and he was like

Sara: good friend

Ashley: “well i went back to sleep afterward and it’s not like you ransacked the place"

Ashley: anyway, this year i do not have anybody’s house to break into

Ashley: because i am already in the only  house i’d be able to break into easily

Sara: our tv has an hdmi cable

Sara: we have TWO DOGS

Ashley: TWO

Sara: one who is basically the dog version of me

Ashley: we are going to snuggle with both of them

Sara: the other who is a giant disaster

Ashley: don’t say what you’re typing

Ashley: oh

Ashley: never mind yes that is accurate

Ashley: i thought you were going to say that the other one reminds you of me

Sara: no

Ashley: but i can at least keep my tongue in my mouth

Sara: i've never met any human who is like the other dog

Sara: she is the happiest, most insane, most ridiculous dog ever

Sara: and we need to tire her out

Sara: before 9pm

Ashley: to be fair, i’ve met some insane and ridiculous humans.

Sara: same

Sara: but she is HAPPY

Sara: "her is a happy dog," as you would say

Ashley: yeah, and her crazy is nothing that can’t be dealt with by throwing a ball around the yard

Ashley: although her feets does get muddy

Ashley: anyway we have wine

Ashley: and only wine

Sara: i have pretzels

Ashley: and baked goods!

Sara: and bagels

Sara: this year, the key to not repeating last year is to eat something

Ashley: i have cookies shaped like unicorns and dogs and a few that are shaped like unicorn dogs

Sara: and also not be near houses you could easily break into

Ashley: didn’t we eat last year??

Sara: no

Sara: that was the problem

Sara: we ate some at the baseball game

Sara: but not for like 8 hours after that

Sara: despite the fact we continued to imbibe

Ashley: so i will blame it on the alcohol

Sara: i was feeling chill about the episode

Sara: until i just saw that time jump tweet

Sara: we should go play with the dogs now

Ashley: do you think you will stay up until 9:30pm

Ashley: or 10:30pm

Ashley: rather

Sara: yes

Ashley: i forgot what time zone we are in

Ashley: i also forgot the finale was on tonight

Sara: that happened

Ashley: what would you do if i was like “i’m gonna go take a nap"

Sara: i would say ok

Sara: go take a nap

Sara: you must be tired from driving literally all over boston and cambridge

Ashley: say what you mean

Ashley: “you must be tired from thinking you knew where you were going"

Ashley: “and then getting lost"

Ashley: “in the place where you live"

Ashley: “multiple times"

Sara: "getting lost all over boston and cambridge even though you have lived here your whole entire life except for a summer when you lived in canada"

Ashley: BULLSHIT i didn’t grow up in boston/cambridge, i grew up in the suburbs

Sara: "turn right then immediately turn left"

Sara: is basically google maps in cambridge

Ashley: also i didn’t tell you that i got a little bit lost on the way to the market after brunch, but i got there without any help.

Sara: HAHAHHAHAHAHAH

Sara: you handled it like a pro

Sara: i had no idea

Sara: i think because we were listening to a v funny recording of you reading fic dramatically

Ashley: to be fair though

Ashley: i didn’t JUST drive around cambridge and boston all day

Ashley: i ALSO went to CrossFit

Ashley: omg yes

Sara: this is so long we should wrap up

Ashley: and that’s when i forgot the finale was tonight

Ashley: because i attempted to schedule a personal training session for tomorrow morning

Sara: ok on my Things Carrie Wore This Week posts i always end with "IN CONCLUSION: _____"

Sara: so how would you CONCLUDE this conversation

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION what did YOU do this morning that was so strenuous

Sara: IN CONCLUSION NOTHING BUT I AM ALSO NOT ABOUT TO GO TAKE A NAP

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION I’m not either but I also wasn’t going to, I just wanted to know how you’d respond.

Sara: IN CONCLUSION: single-use TV, breaking and entering, DOGS, ashley take a nap what else is new

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION: why is almost all of that ashley stuff

Sara: single-use TV is mine

Sara: and DOGS is both

Ashley: IN CONCLUSION no charges were pressed

Ashley: Enjoy the show

Ashley: THE END

Sara: IN CONCLUSION

Sara: the goddamn

Sara: worst

Sara: $132

Sara: i ever spent

Sara: THE END

Sara: .

Sara: go take a nap

Ashley: I’m not tired I was just wondering

Ashley: GOODBYE EVERYBODY

Ashley: WE ARE GOING TO TALK IN OUR VOICES NOW

Sara: auf wiedersehen!

[insarations]

these are actually hella fucking cute y’all

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? oh yes :) but gotta  get me some hot chocolate or blanket

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually just a scrap of paper or whatevers close

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? i put soy milk and sugar in my coffee....just sugar in tea

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? ya :/ well at least if my mouth is open...I have terrible teeth

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? noo lol

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? painting/drawing/crafting..sometimes writing or poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? very much

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? usually side, sometimes back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? too many to name

12: what's your favorite planet? hmm...never thought about it strangely. saturn for looks. but mars cause idk..it holds the most possibility

13: what's something that made you smile today? my cats

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? uhhh....idk

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! A day on Venus is actually longer than a year on Venus... wrap your head around that ;)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? ooooh all of them lol but probably lasagna... ooh or alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? just darker...dark brown or black

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up when i made us play hide n seek in a hotel room and i hid behind a curtain. or when i peed on my friends foot cause she got stung by a jellyfish XD

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I used to :/ I dont' really anymore..probably should

20: what's your favorite eye color? um idk really it depends on the person..I usually like brown or blue. not that green isn't nice but again depends on the person lol

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. ugh I really don't use bags or purses or anything like that much. currently my black vans drawstring

22: are you a morning person? nah, never will be. i'm used to getting up early but still hate it

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yes..a few people

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? umm i dont think ive broken into anywhere

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? i got rid of all my own shoes but the ones ive had a while i wear the most are my black slipon vans

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? only she could do it, cant even explain lol

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? more than a few times

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I LOVE SOCKS lol absolutely not all white socks. I like fun patterned socks..especially my vans no shows... sometimes sleep with them on

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. oh gosh dont let me start

33: what's your fave pastry? uggghh too many. recently something amazing I tried... lobster tails from carlos bakery. but really..any pastry lol

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? lots of them. the main one I can think of is a small little grungy horse named Wickee lol...got him at this amusement park called Wickee Watchee... idk where he is atm :/

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? ooooooh yesssss...from time to time

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? 21 pilots

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I mean I like it clean.... but it's messy most the time anyways lol

38: tell us about your pet peeves! ugh so many. the #1 thing probably is when I'm walking like in a store and someone just stops right in front of me..like i'm tryna get somewhere please move haha but otherwise I just had selfish spoiled people and attitudes and people who think they're better than everyone else

39: what color do you wear the most? black and gray

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? um honestly I don't have any jewelry besides my liprings. There is this necklace that was my grandmas but I don't really wear it anymore

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? It's called Pawn by Robin Roseau

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! Starbucks. it's amazing. it's life. that is all.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? this girl

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? um hmm on and off lately and I think i'm getting there again...but probably really completely like...last spring

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? as much and often as I can

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. oh you don't want me to do that

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? donald trump. oh food. hahahahah omg. i thought it said thing. hahahaha. i cant even answer now.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? roaches. yes still same. I HATE THEM

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? eh neither like or dislike..rarely ever buy cds never records. But I did recently buy the Gwen Stefani Christmas album ;)

50: what's an odd thing you collect? nothing really odd. oh well.... unique boxes. I guess thats strange lol

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? so many songs.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? uh hmm.. probably the spongebob mocking one lol

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? honestly..dont kill me...no

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? myself XD

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? gotten out of the car and walked a mile home XD

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? just being genuine and truthful and sweet and trying to be funny even if you're not really

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? BEAUTIFUL. I didnt actually listen but I did in my head. BEAUTIFUL SONG

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhhhh..... dont really have a group of friends XD

59: what's your favorite myth? hmm too much thinking

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? depends, most the time...the Footprints poem

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? given um...idk I used to get a buncha stuff from the dollar store for my fam every year lol received? a rock from my ex bf -_-

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nah not really a juice person

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? yes organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? black

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? yesss....

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? uhhh eh..not for me

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? either calm or sad or sleepy or a combo

68: what's winter like where you live? it's florida. not usually cold. this week is as cold as it gets...low is like 38 but usually it doesnt even get there

69: what are your favorite board games? clue, monopoly is alright too

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? not huge on tea but I like mint, or something fruity like berry or lemon or peach

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? with certain things

73: what are some of your worst habits? leaving drinks or bottles half finished out or like letting my room get messy

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. funny. sarcastic. sometimes an asshole. good time. gorgeous. fun.

75: tell us about your pets! They're two cats, sister, Lamb and Rue...they're 2 and 1/2 years old..and sweet and mischevious and fluffy and soft and cuteeee  and I love them more than anything

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? not really

77: pink or yellow lemonade? dont really like lemonade much but they dont make much a difference to me

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? fanclub :)

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? wrote a song for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white..nah I didnt choose

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. honestly my minds going black lol im tired

82: are/were you good in school? yes for the most part..had my moments but overall good

83: what's some of your favorite album art? so many I could name. coldplays is always really colorful and abstracty. and imagine dragons.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? already have two. want a lot more..too much to name and i dont even know still what all i want

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? nah

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? YAS. many. but first came to mind, Skillets Rise

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Silver Linings Playbook. Paper Towns. Shrek. All the disney movies. Avatar. Wizard of Oz. many more

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? all of them haha... pop art, impressionism, renaissance..just all of it all special in they're own way

89: are you close to your parents? eh idk i cant explain..neither close nor distant. like we live together and talk alot but not really the close relationship as some do..im very different from them

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Knoxville. the city I went to college in... interesting place with lots to do..best of both worlds. beautiful mountains and hills and views. but also the downtown areas are cool..lots of fun stuff

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? going to savannah ga for my bday. not sure where else yet but i'm sure there will be other places. i'd really like to go to phoenix..boston..new orleans..california..portland ugh so many places

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? CHEESE AF

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? just up in a bun which is boring but its too messy and long to put up with lol

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? nothing really so far. probably will go to lunch or something with my friend

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? myer briggs- INFJ (advocate) sign- aquarius house- ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? legitimately...like 3 years ago...hated it...too much walking and pain XD

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. ugh sooooooooooo many. pretty much any song by skillet or gwen stefani/no doubt recently..dusk till dawn by sia, new rules by dua lipa... also songs by ben howard..lots of indie stuff

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 into the future... i've already lived my past, and i've made a lot of progress...wanna jump to even more progress hopefully

[surveysonfleek]

596.

What kind of makeup do you think is appropriate for church? just simple makeup i guess. or whatever you feel tbh. What would you wear to church? just normal, neat clothing? Would/Do you like having brown eyes? it’s okay. nothing exciting. Do you spend a lot of time on the internet? probably at least an hour a day. Could you live without the internet? haha tbh probably not. i’d be incredibly bored but i’d find a way to get over it eventually.

Have you bought anyone a Christmas gift? yes. i’ve started but i need to keep it going before it gets too busy. Do you have a Christmas tree in your house now? yes. How do you feel when someone hates on Apple? i don’t care. you do you. Do you have an Iphone? If so, which one? yes. iphone 7. Favorite flavor of jello? strawberry or raspberry. I see. Do you have long toes? nope. What’s something someone said to you that bothered you? probably insults. What is one of your favorite compliments to recieve? something unexpected. Do you compliment other random people? sometimes. Could you see yourself buying a truck as your go to vehicle? haha neverrrr. What kind of car do you want? Something less than $100,000. are teslas under 100k? What kind of gift would you appreciate for your birthday? perfume, makeup, something i can use idk lol. Can you type fast? i can but not as fast as office workers i’m assuming. Can you type without looking at the letters? kinda. it’s not perfect though. Did you take typing classes? not officially but i had those typing classes as a pc game. What do you use Facebook for? just to stay up to date with friends and family. oh, and memes lol. What do you look like in your profile picture? i’m in mid laughter a coachella lol. Do you love cartoons? i don’t love it. but i don’t hate it. Name a band that you like. boyz ii men. Name a band you don’t like. coldplay. lol sorry. Name a genre of music you don’t like? country. What genre of music do you listen to around the house? rnb.

You think it’s wrong to tell a person ____. something that will hurt them. What kind of compliments have you given? personality traits, physical stuff. Would you rather give or receive? both haha. Do you paint your own nails? yes. Do you like acrylic nails? no i hate them. every time i get them it totally ruins my nails. What is your favorite red lipstick? ruby woo or lady danger by mac. What are your favorite colors to wear? black or dark colours. What colors do you NOT wear? neon colours lol. Where do you shop for most of clothes? usually h&m. What are your favorite clothing stores/shops? h&m, myer, boohoo, kmart, cotton on etc. What kind of shoes do you like? sneakers. Describe your style in one word. comfy. Describe your current personality in one or two words. bored. What is your opinion on weed? i’m not against it, i just don’t do it. australia has really strict rules against it, it’s annoying. Are you afraid of child birth/pregnancy? slightly. just scared of any complications etc. What are your favorite bottoms to wear? leggings. Do you like dresses? yes. it’s all i wear in summer. Would you rather be called a geek, a nerd or a dork? whatever i don’t care lol. Do you eat cake with a spoon or a fork? spoon. What age will you be next? 27. Did you graduate high school? 2008. Do you make youtube videos? If so, leave your URL i do but i’m not leaving my url lol. Do you flat iron your hair? sometimes. What physical features do you wish you had? ( name 2 ). nicer lips, toned body. Would you ever get plastic cosmetic surgery? probably not. Ever broken a bone? no. What are your favorite youtube videos to watch? travel vlogs, beauty videos, documentaries. What is your favorite sex position? ;) missionary haha. yeah, i’m boring. Do you like red lipstick? yes. What color will you paint your nails next? idk, whatever i feel on the day. What is one of your favorite Disney movies? mulan, aladdin and the lion king. If you could meet a real life Disney character who would it be? jasmine. Are you afraid of ghosts/hauntings? kinda lol. Do you like to play computer games a lot? no. Are you a sore loser? sometimes but i keep it to myself haha. What is your favorite game to play with family/friends? a lot of stuff. the resistance, codenames, monopoly etc. What is your beer of choice? pear cider. What do you plan to buy next? clothes. Do you like shopping? yes. What is one of your favorite things to do on the weekend? hang out with friends. Here, I’m giving you $500 dollars to one store, where would you spend it? any clothing store. Would you look good in a Beatle car? no. Do you play slug bug? idk what that is. What kind of computer are on? macbook pro. You are attracted to ___. nice guys. Do you like glitter? sometimes. Have you ever owned a Quija board? nope. Do you like to text? eh, kinda. it’s not something i aim to do daily but it happens. If you had to be an animal for Halloween, what would it be? a panda lol. Do you have more dry skin or oily skin? oily. i hate it. What kind of shampoo do you use? Be specific. heads and shoulders. apple fresh. Do you have acne? no, just random zits every once in awhile. You’re glad that you don’t ___. have work today. You’re glad that you do ___. get to chill right now. Your favorite cuss word? fuck. Are you obsessed with any superheros? nope lol. Do you read comic books? no. Do you like the Sunday paper and why or why not? nah, i haven’t read the newspaper in forever. Do you have cable? no. What’s a show you wish that was still on air? the office. Do you listen to the radio at all? sometimes. Do you like hip hop? yes. Do you like pretzels? yes! Do you like snow? i don’t mind it. i’ve only seen it twice. What’s your favorite thing about your favorite season? Name the season. autumn: the weather, fashion and makeup. Name something that starts with the first letter of your first name. dandelion. Name something that starts with the first letter of your middle name? varsity. And your lastname. diamonds. Do you have pets? If so, what and what are their names? yes, a dog named sky. You want your next pet to be what? idk if i’ll want another one anymore. Are you a religious person? nope. Do you like pina coladas? yes. Do you like coconut scents? yes! What is your favorite Bath and Body Works candles? any. i like all their scents. Would you spend 20 dollars on a candle? yes lol. What is the goriest thing you’ve seen in real life? idk, don’t wna think about it. Do you look in the mirror a lot? yes. Do you brush your teeth twice a day everyday? yes. What brand of toothpaste do you use? colgate. What is a dessert that you DON’T like? fruit salad. And one that you love? waffles. Twilight or Harry Potter? harry potter hands down. Would you rather be a vampire or a mermaid? mermaid. About how many times do you fart in a day? quite a lot hahaha. I see… well… what is your favorite angry music? emo. Do you have a favorite number? yes. Had a crush on somebody that every1 around u thought was ugly? hmm idk. Are you happy with your physical features? not entirely. P.E or Math? maths. Math or Science? science. Creative Writing or Art? art. When you doodle, what are you usually doodling? stars, eyes, my signature lol. What is something that you like that is really cheap in price? chinese food. What is something that you like that is kind of expensive? perfume. What do you do when someone is really rude to you in public? ignore it or give it back to them. Do you argue with your significant other a lot? no. Have you ever had a really painful breakup? no. Which is better smoking or vaping? lol smoking. Do you write in print or cursive? i do both. Do you have neat handwriting? it’s legible. What do you like to write with? pen. Do you keep a journal/diary? no. You should. Do you eat salads? yes. What do you like in your salad? If you do. If not, what is 1+1? everything in a greek salad except olives. If you HAD to change your eyecolor, what would you change it to? green or blue. What would you not change it to? black. What is one of your favorite colors? turquoise. Do you prefer to be pale or tan? Don’t say in between. tan. Favorite thing to do on your phone? social media. What magazines do you like? i haven’t read magazines in forever. What is your favorite book? the harry potter series. What is your favorite thing about Christmas? food, family time, gifts. I’m giving a ticket to wherever you want, where would you go? japan. Here’s $5, what do you do with it? idk, save it for a random buy. Cool. Cool. Favorite flavor of Ice Cream? cookie dough. Least favorite flavor of ice cream? chocolate. Do you prefer white or black electronics? black. What is your favorite deodorant? lady speedstick. Are you a good kisser ( make out )? i guess so. A stranger comes up to you and gives you a big hug, what do you do? lightly pat them back. Do your eyes tear up when you’re nervous? no. Have you ever gotten the shakes in public? no. What do you like to order from Starbucks? iced coffee or a caramel frappe. Vanilla or Chocolate? vanilla. Apples or Bananas? bananas. Fruit or Veggies? veggies. Water or Milk? water. Regular Milk or Chocolate Milk? chocolate. Would you milk a cow given the chance? i guess so. What kind of underwear do you like? boy shorts. Where do you shop for your underwear? bonds. Chicken or Fish? chicken. Firm pillow or soft pillow? in between. What are you wearing when you go to sleep? old tees or pyjamas. Do you take any meds? If so which and why? birth control. Do you like this survey? meh. a bit long.

[clementinebarish]

i decided i just wanted to answer the rest of the questions from that list so i’m just gonna do it

i’ll put it under a read more so you guys can just scroll through it since it’s all garbage and nonsense anyway

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify. I listen to it on my phone, my computer, wherever and whenever I can.

Is your room messy or clean? It’s in an in between right now. Like I need to go wash some dishes but overall this is a pretty good state for it to be in at the moment.

What color are your eyes? Green! They kind of change, so sometimes there are little hints of brown. When I cry they tend to look more blue.

Do you like your name? why? I do. I feel like I look like a Jessica? I don’t really know, I guess at this point in my life I’ve just gotten comfortable with it and I don’t really see a reason to dislike it. 

What is your relationship status? In a relationship. A little over three months in. 

Describe your personality in 3 words or less. Emotional, empathetic, hilarious What color hair do you have? Currently red. Who knows what color it’ll end up next though.

What kind of car do you drive? color? Lol I don’t even have a license 

Where do you shop? Target. Amazon. Thrift stores. 

How would you describe your style? Comfortable chic sometimes. Usually just whatever’s clean tho. I clean up nice when I have the energy to put effort in

Favorite social media account? Of mine? Idk, probably here because I can talk about how I’m feeling with nothing held back and it’s recieved well. I posted about having struggled with suicidal thoughts and depression on Facebook/Instagram for World Suicide Prevention Day and distant relatives wanted to have me fucking committed so yeah, definitely not those.  Of someone else’s, I’d probably have to say @  _picolo on instagram. he’s super talented

What size bed do you have? I think it’s a king? I really don’t know

Any siblings? Two brothers. One older and one younger. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I think I would stick with California. It’s all I’ve ever really known but I love it so much. Maybe Florida though because it’s always been a dream of mine to intern/work for TWLOHA in some capacity.0

Favorite snapchat filter?

This one.

Favorite makeup brand(s)?: I only really buy eyeshadow palettes when I splurge so I’d have to say Too Faced, Morphe, Anastacia Beverly Hills (but only for their Modern Renaissance palette). I really wanna try the Naked Heat Palette from Urban Decay next.

How many times a week do you shower? It fluctuates. I take a shower when I feel dirty

Favorite tv show? Twin Peaks. Bob’s Burgers. The Office. Shoe size? 10-11 in women’s

How tall are you? 5′5 Sandals or sneakers? Sneakers. I own a lot of Vans or shoes that look like Vans that cost a lot less

Do you go to the gym? No, but I want to start soon.

Describe your dream date. Like a combination of all the dates my boyfriend has taken me on. We have a lot of the same interests and have the same low tolerance of other people so that’s really nice How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? No physical cash. But I have like 6 dollars in my bank account.

What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing any How many pillows do you sleep with? Minimum of two. I also have a stuffed animal with me too cause I’m adult and I can do what I want

Do you have a job? what do you do? I’m a customer service supervisor at Whole Foods and I work in our cash office too. Can’t wait for the holidays to be over so ya girl can look for a new fucking job How many friends do you have? Like maybe 2? I don’t know. I don’t really have many anymore

What’s the worst thing you have ever done? That I’ve actually done or that men just assumed I did because I’ve got big titties and a fat ass and they don’t trust me around other men? Cause my last ex accused me of cheating on him with multiple coworkers of mine and then used my thumb to unlock my phone while I was sleeping and went thru all my text messages/facebook messages/twitter and instagram DMs and when he couldn’t find anything he accused me of deleting the proof :) 3 favorite boy names. Thomas, Russell, Victor.

3 favorite girl names. Eleanor, Lucille, Chloe  Favorite actor? John Boyega. Charlie Hunnam. Hayden Christiansen but only in Life as a House. 

Favorite actress? I have a soft spot in my heart for Kate Winslet because she played Clementine in Eternal Sunshine. Amy Jo Johnson but because of Flashpoint.

Who is your celebrity crush? Charlie Hunnam & Ryan Hurst from Sons of Anarchy. Kyle MacLachlan in his Twin Peaks days. 

Favorite movie? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Dead Poet’s Society. Trolls. Nightmare on Elm Street. 

Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to read a lot. The depression I’ve been battling back and forth the last year has been stealing it away from me but I’m trying to get back to it. Reasons to Stay Alive by Matt Haig was a beautiful book. I also love Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. Money or brains? Brains. Money might make life easier but I’d rather have someone I can talk to. That knows how to do things on their own.

Do you have a nickname? what is it? One summer when I was about 15, I was camping with my family and my cousins had started calling me Jizzy. It slowly turned into Jessikee and then my cousin Melissa turned that into Jessikee Shitdick. I usually just go by Jessikee tho

How many times have you been to the hospital? Not very many for myself. Maybe like three or four times total in my entire life and it was when I was small and I would wake up sick and I’d have trouble breathing.

Do you take any medications daily? Besides birth control, I don’t take anything daily. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Dry as fuck. 

What is your biggest fear? Letting people down. Losing the people I love. Getting my heart broken. It’s funny because my biggest fears are things that have already happened to me and things I know that I can survive. But I still fear them happening.

How many kids do you want? I’ve never wanted to have kids. Adopting or fostering has always been on my heart but if it’s up to me, I’ll probably never have them. What’s your go to hair style? Usually either pinned back bangs and a messy bun or a headband and a messy bun.

What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) If 8 people didn’t live here it would be a pretty nice size. Kinda cramped atm tho Who is your role model? My Aunt Debbie. She’s been through things that I can’t even fathom and she’s just super fucking strong

What was the last compliment you received? My boyfriend told me that I brought back his faith in love when he didn’t think it existed. My fucking heart. What was the last text you sent? “What is that candle scent that reminds me of my dad called” to my aunt 

How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real? I honestly don’t remember. Probably right around the time my dad died and I realized that all the magic from my life was gone anyway What is your dream car? Literally fucking anything that would get me from point a to point b

Opinion on smoking? I smoke a cigarette when I get too drunk because I feel like it sobers me up. I don’t really drink anymore though and if I do it’s not to a point that I feel drunk so I told that secret for nothing. Anyway I don’t really care for it but people will do what they please. Do you go to college? No, but I’d like to.

What is your dream job? I’d love to be a published writer. Or a singer. I’ve dreamed of those since I was a little girl.

Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Rural would be more beautiful but if I’m about to get murdered, I don’t want to have to run 5 miles before you come across another house

Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? I don’t go to hotels enough to take them. So, no. Do you have freckles? Yeah, but not super obvious ones like my little brother.  Do you smile for pictures? No cause I hate my smile!!! I usually make a face

How many pictures do you have on your phone?  2,289

Have you ever peed in the woods? Literally the last time I went on a hike I had to pee in the woods because I thought I was never gonna see a bathroom again Do you still watch cartoons? I fall asleep to Adult Swim every night. I also love cartoons and animated movies so hell yes.

Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? McDonald’s I guess. 

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet n Sour What do you wear to bed? Depends. If it’s cold, leggings and a long tee. If it’s hot or in the middle, usually just underwear and a long tee. Have you ever won a spelling bee? No, but I always got A’s on my spelling tests in high school when I didn’t study when my friends would scrape by with C’s even though they stayed up the night before to cram so that kinda feels the same

What are your hobbies? I’m kind of relearning these. I love to write. I love reading. Playing games. Going to the craft store and finding little projects I want to undertake. Can you draw? Absolutely not

Do you play an instrument? I wish, but no.

What was the last concert you saw? I honestly can’t remember. Probably Being As An Ocean a couple years ago? Or I guess Warped last year counts Tea or coffee? Coffee. I hate tea

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Dutch Bros, y’all

Do you want to get married? I really, really, really do.

What is your crush’s first and last initial? VM Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yeah, probably. Maybe hyphenate if it sounds okay. My last name is one of the only things I feel that I have of my dad What color looks best on you? Probably green. 

Do you miss anyone right now? My boyfriend. He lives in Oakland and we only really get to spend the weekends together because of opposing schedules

Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Closed

Do you believe in ghosts? I don’t know What is your biggest pet peeve? People fucking chewing with their mouths open

Last person you called? My mom Favorite ice cream flavor? Ben & Jerry’s Chocolatta Cookie Core

Regular oreos or golden oreos? There was a limited edition Oreo that was cookie butter with golden oreo and I fuck with that heaaaaaaavy Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Fucking neither. 

What shirt are you wearing? A faux vintage looking Duck Tales shirt that I bought from the Hot Topic clearance bin a couple years ago

What is your phone background? It’s a little adorable poop emoji looking dude and a banner that says I feel like shit but I’m not going to let it stop me Are you outgoing or shy? I’m actually pretty fucking shy Do you like it when people play with your hair? To the point where I can only let my boyfriend do it because it definitely turns me on a little Do you like your neighbors? The neighbor directly to our left is a fucking shit for brains bitch. The lady to the left of her is an angel though and makes us food all the time and always offers us free wine Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I need to start taking better care of my skin yall Have you ever been high? Plenty of times Have you ever been drunk? A good handful. In March, I had an experience where I almost landed in the hospital so I’ve kind of stayed away from it Last thing you ate? Homemade chicken pot pie Favorite lyrics right now? directed @ all the men who hurt me and are now trying to wiggle back into my life

Baby, fineness is the way to kill Tell me how it feel, bet it's such a bitter pill And yeah, I know you thought you had bigger, better things Bet right now this stings 

Or basically all of Sorry Not Sorry by Demi Lovato cause that song is catchy as fuuuuuuuuck  Summer or winter? Wiiiiiiiinter 

Day or night? I’ve had insomnia since I was 7 years old, so night. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? White chocolate and I know it’s not real chocolate but suuuuuuuck my dick and get the hell outta town  Favorite month? October. I fucking love Halloween What is your zodiac sign? Gemini

Who was the last person you cried in front of? My boyfriend. He told me a really special story and I wept like a little bb

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 07.08.17 lb

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGG. WHAT A WAY TO START THE WEEK OFF. MY ULTIMATE BROTP. ALREADY SOBBING. 😭😭😭

of course shivaay would keep tabs on gauri. OF COURSE. like… there’s no way he’s letting bulbul just disappear off the grid like that. 💖💖💖

…. um what? it’s already the exhibition day????? i thought we’d get a fucking montage of om working furiously and shit? wtf bro??? why are they fast forwarding fuckingggg everything on this rikara track???? 😧😧😧

if rudra is the ultimate shivika shipper and anika bhaabi stan, then shivaay is totally the ultimate rikara shipper and bulbul behenaa fan. ugh my hearttttttttt. 😪😪😪

(un)fortunately absolutely no one cares about ruvya. *snort* 

from playing cupid for om, to taking his own relationship into hand, shivaay’s having quite the busy day. saumya kya chali gayi, shivaay is the new Love Angel of the house. 👼🏽👼🏽👼🏽

ohhhhhhhh boy. billu’s SMILING. meaning bad news for anika. kuch toh chal raha hai iske dimaag mein. 😗😗😗

“dealein”.  snort. 😂😂😂

i find it hilaaarious that billu’s trying to score a win against imaginary vikram. like, HE KNOWS she’s making all this shit up, phir bhi he just can’t resist. he has to win against this figment of her imagination. 😆😆😆

lmao these two fucking idiots, man. you’re both suchhhh losers. 😚😚😚

“i have a feeling ki vikram is a very boring kind of a guy…”

…… and you’re what, exactly???? like, take away all your daily family drama, and you’re a real snoozefest of a human being too. 🙄🙄🙄

“vikram ko bohut achcha lagta hai jab main unke USKO helicopter bulaati hoon.”

ok that sounded hella dirty #tharkiTT 😏😏😏

shivaay thinks so too. 😂😂😂

LMAO HELICOPTER AVERAGE KAM DETA HAI HAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣

my goddddddd, he’s like a DOG WITH A BONE. 😐😐😐

wazzzzzzaaaa vikram??? 😊😊😊

pft, pakka iska dost hi hoga. yeh teen naam waale raees praani sab ek dusre ko jaante hai. 🙄🙄🙄

lmaooooo anika’s faceeee. bechaaariiii. 😂😂😂

i want to both cackle and slap this smug smile off this idiot’s face. 😒😒😒

oh boy, is it wise to thamaofy paani into her hand right now, shivaay? 😬😬😬

vikram’s GIAAAANT grin in the bg, lol. another fan for shivika and their shenanigans. 😁😁😁

snorttttttt. syncronised spit takes. kya jodi hai. 😙😙😙

confusion and wtf ka itna perfect mishran. waah. i want to frame this moment. 😊😊😊

hee hee hee hee. glass tod ke chala gaya. 😆😆😆

waise vikram looks slightly more attractive today. good styling. again, not sure why he’s dressed for a northeastern US fall rather than august in mumbai, but whatever. 😘😘😘

lol oh boy rudra is gonna get it from bhaiyya. 😆😆😆

rudra ko toh bas bahaana chahiye shirt utaarne ka, lol. 😂😂😂

“mujhe teri t-shirt ki nahi padi hai ok!” “toh kiski t-shirt ki padi hai aapko? main SHIRT lagaake keh sakta hoon ke aap isi baare mein baat kar rahe the.” “just SHIRT UP ru! i mean… SHUT UP!” 

pun game A+. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

rudra be like waah anika didi ne humaare bina hi jugaad kar liya! 🤔🤔🤔

lol vikram being impressed by HIMSELF on the cover of that mag. 😂😂😂

“i was just wondering, main pictures mein zyaada better nahi lagta hoon?”

lmaooooo yes you do, my man. but i like your self awareness. something that hasn’t even remotely passed by anyone in this house. 😊😊😊

this is a different magazine from the other day though. this guy’s on a lot of magazines eh? wonder if he has a pile of the magazines with his face on display in his room, like shivaay does. 🤔🤔🤔

oh ho rudy, samjha kar. your brother and his gf are in middle school and abhi tak haath pakadne tak hi pohunche hai. as far as he’s concerned, kandhe pe haath rakhne se vikram got to second base with her. 🙃🙃🙃

lmao rudra being more concerned about the punching bag. 🤣🤣🤣

lage haath rudra is using opportunity to steal a hug from bhaiyya. poor thing. why don’t ppl hug him more? he wouldn’t have to do all this for some physical affection then. 😔😔😔

yaaaaaas, burn billu burnnnnnnnnnnn. 🔥🔥🔥

anika is suspicioussssssss about vikram’s niceness. and she’s right to be. coz everyone in this universe is a fucking asshole. 😐😐😐

aw. i like vikram. even though his mouth is… too full of teeth???? idk what’s wrong with his mouth area but… something’s off. 😕😕😕

ok now that he said “TRUST ME” i am definitely sure he has a maksad. and it’s that he’s working with shivaay. 😑😑😑 

where exactly is rudra’s room??? it would have to be OUTSIDE the main door, to have THAT view of anika/vikram. 🤔🤔🤔

ohhhhh boyyyy, billu’s done the hair move. oh boy. oh no. 😬😬😬

oh hoooo anikaaaa, you idiot, he already said FARAQ PADTA HAI???? SO MANY TIMES?????????????? 😣😣😣

itni jaldi pune se mumbai waapas pohunch gayi bulbul? 🤔🤔🤔

also she doesn’t have job or any money? can she really afford to just be travelling up and down like this? 😐😐😐

ok hiding your face accomplishes absolutely nothing, gauri. woh bangle mein se jo christmas decoration latak raha hai, its enough to give you away. 🙄🙄🙄

ok first of all, all these paintings are so different from each other in style. like SO DIFFERENT. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ARE YOU TELLING ME HE CHURNED OUT ALLLLLLL THESE PAINTINGS IN LIKE… A DAY???? COZ THIS IS HONESTLY MAXIMUM TWO DAYS AFTER SHE LEFT???????? WTF EVEN ARE THEY DOING WITH THIS FUCKING PLOTLINE MAN??????? COME ON. 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫

the recliner painting, which should be best, is actually the worst. doesn’t even look remotely like her? 😖😖😖

how is he not noticing her IN NEON FUCKING GREEN, RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM????????? 😩😩😩

lmao the height difference between vikram and shivaay. it’s fucking hilariousssss. 😂😂😂

ALLLLLLLLL must have dinner together. OH BOY. 😐😐😐

lmao billu’s VICIOUSNESS as he goes to organize dinner. (kahin vikram ke khaane mein zehar toh nahi daalne gaya hai?) 😗😗😗

5 minutes in and vikram is alreadyyyyyy beginning to kinda regret getting involved. 😆😆😆

waah kya romantic date hai. pati, patni, aur woh. 😶😶😶

ismein currently pati kaun hai aur WOH kaun hai??? unclear. 🤔🤔🤔

wine in a martini glass? i expected better from you, shivaay. 🙄🙄🙄

oh boy. billu ka interrogation shuru. 😣😣😣

“humaare divorce ke baad tum kahan thi, kya kar rahi thi, i have no idea.”

snort. uh huh. not like you were tailing her, or standing outside her window staring at her all night. nope. 😊😊😊

oh ho, these two are toh getting senti right from the get go. koi bechaare vikram ka toh socho. 🙁🙁🙁

oh vikram, run with your damn life. you really don’t know WHAT A TRASHFIRE this “relationship” is. 😬😬😬

10/10 to vikram for being a chill dude. i like him. 😌😌😌

IS NOODLES/SPAGHETTI ALL THESE PPL EAT? THERE ARE OTHER THINGS TO EAT IN THE WORLD PPL. WHY ARE YOU RESTRICTING YOURSELF LIKE THIS? 😕😕😕

shivaay, being a typical annoying desi aunty: “toh… shaadi kab hai???”

anika had not realized that an engagement usually leads to a wedding. because in this show’s universe, it NEVER does. 😐😐😐

OH NO VIKRAM! YOU MADE A BOO BOO! MICHMICHI NAHI JAANTE???? 😧😧😧

anika is literally not taking any of shivaay’s shit right now. she’s going down fucking swinging, determined to take his head with her as a trophy. i fucking loveeeeeeeee it. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

“just relax, aise bhadakne ki zaroorat nahi hai.” 

these words. coming from shivaay. SHIVAAY. 😐😐😐

THIS FUCKER. THIS FUCKING FUCKER. 😒😒😒

oh my god, the hope in his eyes as he asks “ya tum dono shaadi nahi karna chaahte?”  😥😥😥

*soft voice* “toh karlo na. toh karlo na shaadi.”

ahahahaha i’m dead. *weeping on floor* 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

LMFAO VIKRAM. kahaaa thaaaaa, bhaaag jao! 😂😂😂

“tumne meri shaadi ke saare arrangements kiye the, ab tumhari shaadi ke arrangements main karoonga.” 

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. i don’t think you ready for this jelly, billu. 😔😔😔

lmaoooooo vikram’s grin in the middle of that at anika’s slight snark. I REALLY LIKE THIS OFF-BRAND NAMIK PAUL 😂😂😂

(lol, i finally realised who he looks like/reminded me of. height bhi wahi, similar face too. bas… something is kinda off. dollar store waala namik paul he is.)

*disbelieving growl* “DID YOU JUST AGREE?” 

ohhhhh boy. 😬😬😬

will someone ask vikram about his preference?? vikram toh achcha khaasa prinku ban ke reh gaya hai is situation mein. 😶😶😶

oh finally. he sees her. 🙄🙄🙄

RUN GAURI RUN. ARRE DUPATTA CHODO. JUST FUCKING RUN. 😫😫😫

OUFF. too late. 😑😑😑

“GAURI TUM CHALI KYUN GAYI?” 

OMFG. THE GALL THIS MAN HAS TO ASK THIS QUESTION. THE FUCKING NERVE. 😤😤😤

whatever omkara. just whatever. fuck off. GAURI. JUST LEAVE. JUST FUCKING LEAVE, WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIS PUPPY EYES AND HANDSOME FACE. LEAAAAAAAAAVE. 😡😡😡

no actually, the paintings don’t give a damn jawaab at all? what is she? just a muse? 😑😑😑

OH HO. THIS IDIOT AND HIS ANDAS. WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF FOOD. 😠😠😠

bhavya’s here to put an end to all the food waste, thank god. 😑😑😑

why are svetlana and jhanvi sleeping like this, ek bed pe, ek sofe pe, like a forcefully married 4 Lions couple? 🤔🤔🤔

the spin off we deserve, but shall never get. sigh. 😭😭😭

MAN NEEND MEIN BHI SVETLANA LOOKS FIREEEEEEE. 🔥🔥🔥🔥

ugh. hate this stupid gaslight svetlana plot. HATE. 😤😤😤

back to omkara and his emotional constipation. 😒😒😒

god, i love gauri so much. she’s just so… graceful and dignified. 😍😍😍

whatever om. just… whatever. too little, too late. 😒😒😒

ugh gauri, why are you so selflesssss? 😣😣😣

good. now stay disappeared, gauriiiii. 😐😐😐

bhavya’s frustration with rudra - #relatable

lmao “pappu” 😆😆😆

“anika bhaabi ke wajah se poooore ghar ke dictionary ki OH MY MAATA ho gayi hai!!!!!” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

god rudra, she’s a COP. she can get a PROFESSIONAL PARTNER assigned to help her. 😒😒😒

“ab naachna mat shuru kar dena!” 😂😂😂😂

if only svetlana’s dimaag was as sharp as the wing of her eyeliner. 😔😔😔

“jab jaana hi tha toh aayi kyun?” 

omkara literally asking the questions that the audience has. 🤔🤔🤔

“dadi kehti hai ki dusre ki thaali ka ladoo zyaada bada lagta hai. waise hi, dusre ki problem choti lagti hai.”

actually wise words from rudra singh oberoi! 😊😊😊

IGNORE MAARO?!?!!?!?? OMFG THAT’S SO NOT THE SOLUTION. RUDRA YOU FUCKING IDIOT. 😒😒😒

om’s sarcastic slow clapping. *snort* 

“mere bhai, mujhe hamesha lagta tha ki tu ajeeb hai… lekin ab mujhe lagta hai… ke TU BOHUT BADA MANBUDDHI HAI.” “thanks bro!”

hahahahahaha. i fucking love omRu. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

great. these two stubborn idiots are still at it. fuck ‘em and their ego issues. i’m just worried about poor vikram. 😟😟😟

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #178

“for such a little thing, you sure are in your own way.”

What’s your favorite type of bird? Barn owls are actual deities. What was on the last sandwich you ate? Pb & j. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school? Same stuff I listen to now, although I had a mild screamo-ish phase. Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? No. How far away is the closest store to your house and what is it? Some cheap dollar store in the town, dunno names. What is your favorite Thai dish? Haven't tried any. When was the last time you made out with somebody? Over a month back. What month of the year was your mother born? August. Are there any candles in your bedroom, and what scent are they? No. What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? None. How many apps do you have on your phone? Six. My phone has so, so little storage ugh. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No to both. Are there any movies you’ve seen so many times? Yeah, sure. Of course a lot as a kid, Finding Nemo and The Lion King 1 & 2 especially, then I've watched both Blair Witch Project movies a lot, Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas... How would you describe your sense of humor? Sarcastic. What’s your favorite type of bread? Pumpernickel. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yeah. Have there ever been any brushfires/wildfires in your area? Yeah. What did you have to eat for dinner last night? Nothing (Thanksgiving was lunch). Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Do you know your significant other’s passwords? No, I have no reason to. Would you like to study abroad one day? No. Does someone have a crush on you but you don’t feel the same way? Idk. Who do you feel most beautiful around? Sara. /v\ What’s one makeup item you cannot live without? I could easily live without any. Is there one thing all of your ex’s had in common? All guys. Did you french kiss before you were 16? No. Imagine your spouse just died; would you get re-married? I don't know if I would. Like... I'd never stop loving her, so "moving on" to someone else just because she's no longer physically here would feel disloyal. What’s your favorite thing about life? New, fun experiences and creating strong bonds with people like you. Who pays for the first date? Idrc, but probably whoever proposed the date? Or split the bill? Have you ever had a friend that got a bf/gf, and then completely ignored you? Yeah. Do you play any computer games, if so, what ones? Not currently 'cuz my gaming laptop has to be fixed. :| When it is and I have my own income, I might return to WoW, but I'm not sure. I think the subscription is kinda high, and I have more important things to handle. What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? Idk why I find White Chicks so goddamn funny. What lyric means the most to you? Off the very top of my head, "A bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side" from "Free" by Mother Mother. Really makes me think of all I've been through but how I keep coming out stronger. Who is the smartest person you know? Girt. What’s the next movie you will see in theaters? Idk. Are you adopted? No. What band do you like that most people hate? You canNOT look me in the face and say you don't like at least one Nickelback song. I don't get the hate. Any new bands that you actually enjoy? Oh idk. What is your escape from reality? RPing. Do you have any self-inflicted scars on your arms? You can only just barely see them. Do you like “scene” hair? YEAH AND I ALWAYS FUCKING WANTED IT BUT I COULD NEVER POSE IT CORRECTLY 'CUZ MY HAIR WAS TOO THICK AND HEAVY. Have your parents ever been to jail? No. If your friend asked you to hold their drugs, would you? Definitely not. Does it scare you when a relationship moves too fast? Y E A H Would you ever consider hitchhiking? I don't know if I would even in a desperate situation... I don't trust people. Have you ever hitchhiked? No. Have you ever been to a music festival? No. What color car do you want to have? Burnt orange. Would you rather hike a mountain or explore a cave? Explore a cave!!! Would you rather wear a flower crown or veil? Probably a veil? Do you believe peace on earth is attainable? I honestly don't believe so. What type of tattoo do you want? s o  m a n y What is your favorite insect? Butterflies. Would you ever live in the desert? Nooooo. Fuck the heat. Is your town beautiful? I don't really live in one, but the closest town isn't. Which season do you want to get married in? Autumn. Are totem poles cool? YEAH! Favorite art forms? Conceptual photography. What kind of music do you enjoy? Plenty sorts of metal, rock, and alternative. Do you have any gay friends? Yeah. Where is your favorite place to go? The zoo, even though I have mixed feelings about them... Do you know your dad? Yeah. How often do you get on Facebook? At least once a day. Are you related to anyone who’s in prison? Don't think so?? What concerts are you attending in the near future? Y'ALL I MIGHT FUCKING SEE OZZY IN JANUARY. He and Megadeth are coming to Charlotte and the tickets aren't too bad. :') It's a loooong drive but Mom was like "hell yeah" when I told her and wants to buy tickets after she gets her tax return AH. Metallica is a possibility too, but Mom doesn't think she can afford it. If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first? Dad's. What are you currently looking forward to? Sara's b-day, Christmas, hopefully getting my laptop fixed, aforementioned concerts, and school. What was the reason you got grounded for last? Idk, that was a long time ago. But most likely for "talking back" to Mom. The last two people you kissed, are they virgins? Yes; probably not. Is there a guy that knows everything or mostly everything about you? Yeah. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? A bit to the left. If you could have anything delivered to your doorstep each morning, what would it be? Um,,, money?????? What is one vacation destination that many people think is just fabulous but which you personally have no desire to visit (or revisit)? New York City. Heard from my sister it's a shithole with the craziest and rudest people known to Planet Earth. I'm not big on cities, anyway. Which animated character is your all-time favorite? Uhhhhhh... Dory, maybe? If you could own a home on the shore of any body of water in the world, which waterfront would you choose? I WANT THE PINK BEACHES OF THE BAHAMAS. But I'm scared of the Bermuda Triangle so will probably never see them. :'''''') What serves as the greatest motivation for you in your daily life? MY RECOVERY. If I got through what I have, I can't ever give up and roll back down that hill. I'm focusing to always improve. If you could have any round object in the world, what spherical item would you want? t h e  g a m e s p h e r e ,  l a d s If you were left alone for one hour with nothing more than a pen and a notepad, what would you be inclined to draw or write during those 60 minutes? Practice eyes or start a poem. If you could witness anything at all in super-slow motion, what would you want to see? Hmmm... OH, maybe a big cat's tongue licking meat. See how it actually shears tiny bits off. Cats' tongues are cool. What do you forget to do more often than anything else? Take my anxiety med at the right time. If you could teach everyone in the world one skill, what would it be? Compassion. You’ve been offered the chance to paint a billboard along a highway with any message you choose, as long as it’s only 10 words long. What is your message? Oh jeez, I'd have to think too hard on this. Who’s the last guy to give you roses? Tyler. Did your parents do drugs when they were younger? Not to my knowledge, and I doubt they would've. Do you have any relatives who live on a different continent than you? I don't believe so. What are your religious beliefs? Were you raised with those beliefs, or did you develop them on your own? I'm a theist, entailing I believe in a creator, but I know nothing about him/her/it. I personally picture them as a peaceful and sage deity that allows life to go on without it intervening anywhere, letting the world evolve on its own and see how we adapt to our unique settings and handle life. In the end, I believe we are either given some form of paradise or a type of damnation depending on how you wrote your story. I like to imagine the good go to their personal vision of "Heaven," and I wonder if the paranormal activity some experience in life are the acts of the damned, apparently confined to remain on Earth or something. Anyway, I wasn't raised with such beliefs; they were developed. I was brought up Catholic, then I turned to just simple Christianity as I didn't agree with a lot of Catholic ideas, and most recently I abruptly turned away from that in favor of theism. How did you and your significant other celebrate your last anniversary? We went out for breakfast. What has been your favorite house/apartment/etc you’ve ever lived in? My last house for location, as a house itself, my childhood one. What’s something in your house that currently needs to be cleaned? I need to vacuum my room. Do you still remember any of the dreams or nightmares you had as a child? Yup. What’s the most bizarre conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of? The world is donut-shaped. Yeah. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not. At. All. Who was your first crush? Did you ever actually date them? Dylan, and no. What’s the weirdest, rudest, or most ridiculous thing a guest has ever done in your home? Who knows. Has anyone ever told you you’re manipulative? I don't think so. Do you know anyone who owns their own business? No. When was the last time you weren’t 100% sober? Uhhh maybe that movie night with Colleen and Chelsea. Is obtaining a college degree something that is important to you? Well, for my possible career future. Have you ever eaten at a vegan restaurant? No. Do you view substance abuse as a disease or a choice? I have... mixed feelings here. Starting something, that is indisputably a choice. Becoming addicted though, I'm not sure. Some people have addictive personalities so have a bigger inclination to become addicted, but isn't that just a personal trait/weakness you can fight?? I dunno. I know it's labelled as a disease by people way more informed than me though, so. What does the last text you sent say? Don't feel like checking. Does it bother you when people call you ‘ma'am’ or ‘sir?’ No. I live in the South, that's polite. Have you ever been obsessed with a television character? Does Dory count for movies? ha ha Do you ever wish you had powers of invisibility? Not really. What was the last thing that changed your life completely? Recovery. Do you have any step siblings? One. Have you ever been questioned by the police? No. In which state/country were you born? NC, U.S.A. Have you ever been to an amusement park out of state? Disney World. What do you normally drink when eating at a fast food restaurant? Coke or Mountain Dew. Have the police ever been looking for you? Not because I did something wrong; I've told the beach story a few times. If you chew gum, which kind is your favorite? I love the watermelon Hubba Bubba one asjfawoeu Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? Yeah. What was the last liquid that you choked on? Water, just this morning when I was taking my meds ah. How many times did you wake up today before actually getting up? Well, I woke up once in the middle of the night like usual, then I woke up at like, 6-something and went back to sleep. Who did you celebrate your last birthday with? Mom, sises, Ash's husband and kids, and Dad stopped by. Was your last kiss initiated by you or the other person? I think it was kinda a simultaneous thing. We were saying bye. Do you buy a ton of things at the store at once or just for that day? Mom does the shopping, but it depends on how much time she has and what's at the house. When getting dressed do you put your pants or shirt on first? Pants. When you kiss a person where do your hands usually go? I actually don't know if it's a consistent thing for me??? I don't kiss anyone regularly so I don't recognize a pattern. What is one song you listen to that you’re sure not many people do? "False Flags," probs. Massive Attack is so neglected of the attention they deserve. Do you use a handrail on stairs if there is one? Yes, I'm scared of tripping. What was the last thing you saw that made you smile? Teddy came right up into my face wanting attention. What is your favorite drinking game? Never played any. Do you have any tattoos that you don’t like anymore? I think I've mentioned why I don't love my "ohana" one now. I'm getting it covered at some point. My "perfectly flawed" one is probably getting covered by a much bigger piece; I picked a bad location for it to want a sleeve. I'd just maybe redesign it, put if somewhere else. Do you have a shower curtain or door? Curtain. Who was the last person from your high school graduating class you saw? Probs Colleen? Who was the last non-relative you hung out with? Sara. Are you listening to anything right now? I'm way too obsessed with "Black Wedding" by In This Moment (feat. Rob Halford). Rob makes it, and the chorus is awesome. How many keys are on your keychain? One. Who was the last person you took a photograph with? Ryder, my nephew. Are you left handed? No. What were you most scared of when you were little? Losing my mom/being separated from her. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you painted your nails? What color(s)? I couldn't even guess. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Thank fuck no. Have you ever overflown a bathtub? Don't think so. What’s at the top of your to-do list in life? Stay positive, never stop aiming to improve. What was the last thing you shared? Well, Thanksgiving food. Where are you most ticklish? Feet. Do not- Which cartoon character do you want to keep as a pet? Uhhhh how 'bout an Espeon. I imagine them to be calm and silently affectionate like cats and very intelligent. Have you ever considered a career in music/acting? No. When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? Getting food yesterday. Per usual, let things die down, but I still ended up crammed in a corner, unable to go in any direction while someone was trying to get past me. I was headed for an anxiety attack and felt like a total nuisance. I'm pretty sure it showed in how I was whipping my head around, shuffling in various directions, clearly wanting the fuck out. Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? No, lyrics can't ruin a song I like the sound of. What would be the icing on the cake for you this Christmas? A PS4, omg. I have to get my laptop fixed and a new camera, so I highly doubt I'm getting that or a tablet considering cost. I want to play the Spyro Reignited trilogy beyond words, like I refuse to even watch a let's play because I want to experience it all first-hand, but. Yeah, unlikely anytime soon. If you had the opportunity to live forever, would you take it? Noooooo. Do you like quesadillas? Only chicken and/or cheese ones. Did you like the show Invader Zim? I surprisingly never saw it. What’s the greatest/most influential song you’ve ever heard? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy always makes me wanna get off my ass and do something. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen in a grocery store? A HUGE BOX OF ANIMAL HEADS IN THE MIDDLE OF WAL-MART, BECKONING THE FURRIES INTO ITS DEPTHS. Have you ever bought yourself a present on Christmas? No. Well, I've used money I've been given on Christmas, if that counts. Have you ever been on a mechanical bull? No. Do you need a key card to get into the building you live in? No. Have you ever stepped in chewing gum? Yes. Name all the people you know that you’ve seen today. Just Mom.

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You’re lucky I love you so much

Sunrise or sunset?- SunsetAre you mentally ill?- Kinda?Are you physically ill?- Fortunately notWhat is the most expensive thing you have bought?- With my own money? Probably a gift for someoneDo you have a job?- Not currentlyAre you in school?- YesAre you a dropout?- NoAre you in college?- NoIntrovert or extrovert?- yeahWhat do you think when you look at your body?- Idk it’s pretty lit. I’m strong, I’m healthy, I’m a reasonable height… no issues reallyWhat have others said when they look at your body?- lol my girlfriend likes it but idk what anybody else has saidDo you have a particular song that you feel deeply?- There’s a looooot but maybe Stay by Mayday Parade?Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive?- this is always a difficult question because I’ve felt alive a lot of times, but I’ve gotta nerd out and say that I felt pretty damned invincible and alive when somebody hung a medal around my neck this past winterguard season idk judge meAre you confident wearing a bikini?- Ah no? LolCan you look people in the eyes while talking?- Yeah! I prefer toHas anything terrible happened to you?- yeahHas anything wonderful happened to you?- Yeah! I got guard captain for my final season!!Favorite part of your personality?- Incredulous sense of sarcasmLeast favorite part of your personality?- Speak my mind too often, hurtsFavorite part of your body?- Eyes? Stomach? Arms? Hands? IdkLeast favorite part of your body?- My hips? I guess?Favorite quote?- This too shall pass.Do you have friendships with all genders?- Basically lolDo you have a good relationship with your father?- VeryDo you have a good relationship with your mother?- Fairly? Meh?Do you have a good relationship with your siblings?- My step brother and I are literal friends, my half brother is a dick but I don’t hate him I guessHave you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member?- When I was younger that was how I learned hahaHave you ever had a near death experience?- I don’t think so but maybe? IdkDo you know anyone who has taken their own life?- YeahHave you ever tried to take your own life?- NoBiggest lie you have told?- I’ll be fineDo you follow any conspiracies?- If Shane Dawson makes a video about it than I’m all over that shitDo you believe in a New World Order?- blehDo you respect your government and the way your country is run?- that’s fucking hilarious my dudeIs there currently any strife in your country?- 🙃Have you ever been displaced within your country?- luckily notAre your friendships healthy?- Now they areAre you currently fighting with a friend?- NoAre you jealous of a friend? Why?- NopeDo you believe in the Illuminati?- kindaDo you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who?- Beyoncé? IdkHow can people tell you are nervous?- I look around the room a lot and my leg shakes and I don’t answer very quickly, also play with my hands or necklaceHow can people tell you are sad?- blank stare, quietDo you ever express your true feelings?- I really don’t know. The only true feeling I guarantee I express is the love I have for my girlfriend and color guardRegrets in your life?- Letting my best friend emotionally fuck me up and then let her think it was okayAchievements in your life?- CAPTAINNNNN and a bunch of writing awardsWhat did people say about you in school?- they called me fat and weird and gay but I never really gave a fuck I had my 2 or 3 friends so I was set What did you say about people in school?- nothing muchIs there something you have never told anyone?- I have to eat french fries in sets of 2Have you committed an illegal act?- plentyIf you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it?- Two days isn’t enough but with more time I would take @ununhexium to Disney World, going to Europe, and building a tiny house. Leftover spending would be put into savings.What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18?- Vet, Artist, Writer, Video ProducerDescribe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined?- lol so I went on a cruise at 13 and over the course of five days I managed to single out one cute girl, spend half of my time with her, and then she kisses me while fall out boy was playing on the last night. She fuckin knew she was my first kiss too haha, and honestly? I didn’t imagine it going down like that at all. When I was little I always thought it would either be at a school dance or like, outside of a convenience store, or over a game of spin the bottle. I was very burdened by cliches as a kidGrowing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household?- My dad was fairly wealthy, but I lived with my mom, and we were extremely low income. She only worked odd jobs at retail stores… luckily her boyfriend loves us like his own kids so he’s helped us since thenAre you from a broken marriage?- My parents were never marriedHave you been raised by a solo parent?- Technically? But no..? Haha idk how to answer, you get the gistDo you know both your parents?- YesWhat colour eyes, hair and skin do you have?- Blue/Gray eyes, natural blonde hair (currently blue), Caucasian/white skinHave you abused drugs or alcohol?- Nope.What languages can you speak?- English, .2% French, attempting to learn ASLDo you conform to your societies standards?- Not quiteDo you cry often?- VeryDo you tell people what you think of them?- BrutallyAre you comfortable accepting compliments?- No I hate themAre you comfortable giving compliments?- Meh I guess yeah. My girlfriend gets them all hahaIs any mental illness hindering your life?- Yeah. I’m recovering from some form of emotional abuse, and it kinda… really fucks me up weekly or so. Just ask my girl haha she usually has to witness itIs any physical illness hindering your life?- Luckily not. I bind daily so my ribs are always a little sore, but other than that I’m fairly healthyDo you keep up with current events?- Kinda?What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read?- This guy killed his wife while they were on a cruise to Alaska because she was laughing at himWhat have you done today?- went to get coffee for a friends birthday, went to the batting cages with my brother, came home to my dads and ate chineseDo you sleep well?- usuallyDo you sleep badly?- nahHave you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting?- yeah and I hate myself for it every minute of every dayHas anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting?- yeahHave you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why?- lol YUP, because after months of putting up with what I thought was just somebody with a temper, I realized that they were REALLY screwing up my head and manipulating me and abusing how forgiving I was to keep pulling me back in. I left because she only ever played the victim and put dents in my relationship. She’s done this to people before me too, and I’m not sure if it’ll stop following me eitherHave you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves?- yeah, said ex friendHas anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself?- yes? kinda? I don’t purposely hurt myself physically but I do have OCD from my mom and pick at scabs a lot when i feel them, and I scratch at the back of my neck when I’m anxiousDo you like your laugh?- It’s just a laugh idk lolAre you preparing for an apocalypse? And what kind?- ZOMBIEEESSSSS but not currently no lolDo you have any funny family stories?- one time when my brother was a toddler I told him to hurry up in the bathroom because I had to pee and when he came out he said “I left the seat up for you”… I don’t have a penis lolAre you religious?- mehDo you like to watch true crime shows or movies?- mehAre you interested in cults?- from a distance yesWould you like to raise a family in your country?- I’m not sureList some things you wanted in your childhood but never got?- A TREEHOUSE UGH I HAD ONE WISHIs there a large age gap between you and a sibling?- I think 4.5 years is the biggest one so not reallyAre you from a blended family?- NopeDo you believe in marriage? Why/Why not?- Yeah totally, just make sure you prenup that shitWhat is the nicest thing anyone has said to you?- I can’t recallDo you keep a journal?- I used to, and I plan on starting up againWould anyone be hurt by reading it?- MaybdDo you have children?- Just my hedgehogHave you been pregnant?- NooooList your favorite movies?- Zombieland, American Ultra, The Perks of Being a WallflowerList your favorite people?- Claire, Melissa, Kate, Danielle, Ceara, Lynn Gunn, TSwift lolTalk about the birthmarks and scars on your body?- I have a little brown birthmark on my palm, and a quarter sized pink scar on my left kneecapDo you look after yourself?- EhDo you put yourself or others first?- Others, to most extentsAre you happy today?- I have mixed emotions and anxiety lolAre you loved?- Very 😇