#this isnt what im saying and i hope i used the proper language | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itsjaywalkers · 4 months ago

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Hello Laurie! How are you? How are your holidays going?

I'm the same person who messaged you 2/3 months ago about the fic that I was writing and being scared to post it because it's not my native language. I was wondering how your writing goes, like how do you edit? What do you struggle with the most? I know you said it's not your native language either, and I just wanted to know what slows you down the most? Because for me personally it's grammar, structure of the sentences and its punctionation. I always wonder if my commas are in the right place and if I used right marks, obviously the placement of it differs in every language. And do you have any tips for me? ANYWAYS i'm so sorry this is such a long question bahahhaha, also I've read your new Bartylily fic and I love it. I'm on my knees for them, can't wait to see what you got in store for them. Hihi have a good day! <3

hi darling!! i'm okay, doing some writing!! and my holiday is going great <3 i've been at the beach all week, swimming and reading and eating delicious food. i missed my parents and my sisters like crazy, so it's been very fun to get to spend so much time with them <333

oh, yes!! i remember you!! i hope that fic is going well, and that you'll decide to post it someday. i feel like i already told u this, but i'm sure it's lovely, and if deep down u wanna share it, u should be able to do so, fear be damned (im aware it's not that easy but . u get what i mean)

and my editing process is . very boring and very long . i usually just write the whole chapter out, exactly how i have it planned in my mind, without stopping to check for mistakes, or letting myself get distracted by . a paragraph or a line i don't like, all that can be fixed during the actual editing. once it's done, i try to give it a day?? to let it breathe a lil. and then i reread it all!! i go scene by scene, and sometimes it means just fixing the grammar of some sentences and deleting a random line here and there, and other times it means deleting a whole conversation, or rewriting an entire scene bc it's not working how it's supposed to. editing can take me from a couple of hours to actual days, so it's not a process i really enjoy </3 writing can be a pain, but it's when i get to be messier and have fun and not worry about the end result. editing means polishing and rereading until you grow sick of the story. it's necessary but it's not my fav part of the process, that's for sure

i don't think i'm that bothered by grammar, but it's mostly bc this is just fanfiction and i kinda just . have fun with the language?? sometimes i'm aware i'm not structuring a sentence the Proper way but it looks more beautiful my way, and it sounds nicer, so why would i change it?? not a single one of my uni profs is gonna be reading it anyway. but as someone who isn't an english native speaker either, i totally get u, bc i used to be very insecure about this, and i still am a bit sometimes. i had this fear that ppl were gonna be able to tell english isnt my first language at a first glance. but so what if they do?? theres nothing wrong with that, and bc im bilingual, i speak and write in english in a manner native speakers cant replicate, bc i see and understand their language differently. and i think thats lovely!!!

the thing i struggle the most with is descriptions?? i feel like im not detailed or accurate enough, and like i lack a lot of vocabulary. i do my best to fix it during editing but it never quite works i fear.. i also write ridiculously long sentences, bc i use way too many commas when i should be using periods. and i think that my dialogues are pretty good, but at the same time im always . concerned about characters sounding real enough yk?? since, again, english isn't my first language

and i don't know about tips darling. i keep saying this, but i feel like i'm not the best person to ask about this At All, bc i'm not that knowledgeable, or talented, or skillful. i can tell you to remember that at the end of the day this is fanfiction, and we're supposed to be having fun and being self-indulgent. try not to worry so much about grammar and proper sentence structure or putting commas in the right place. bend the language until it sounds pretty enough for you and a sentence rolls off the tongue the right way. who cares if it's not Correct or Proper. it's not meant to!!! also, don't edit right away, let the story or the chapter breathe for a bit, otherwise you're gonna hate the whole thing and believe it's a Mess. it's usually not!! you just need a break and to put some healthy distance so u can edit more honestly, less unbiased

don't apologise!! my answer was even longer SIGH i hope some of this was at least a little helpful <3 and thank u so much!! more ppl than i thought are reading and enjoying the bartylily fic, and it fills me with joy <3 next ch is coming VERY soon and i can't wait

wishing u the best and sending u all my love MWAH <333

#asks #anons

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a-pop-of-korean · 3 years ago

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hello, im a total beginner so i just wanted to ask for clarification.

this has prob been asked before, but using 당신 as 'you' typically isnt proper right? such as if you use it with strangers or people youre not close with. and i heard that basically dangsin should be replaced with name or title?

maybe this is a stupid way of asking but i just wanted to understand more. is it basically sort of like the english equivalent of always referring to people in third person (like if youre talking to someone named john and you say 'is john busy' instead of 'are you busy') except it doesnt sound strange in korean like it does in english since thats just how the language is right? i hope the way i asked makes sense haha.

also because im a total beginner sometimes in a rush i plug stuff into papago to communicate with some people for now (which of course i know, a web translator isnt the best idea for communicating but i just dont know enough korean yet LOL and i just want to be as polite as possible and make the best out of the situation). papago defaults to 당신 a lot, is it possible just replace the two characters with the person's name or title without having to change the rest of the sentence? thank you!

Hi! This is NOT a dumb question; it took me a while to grasp this too! You're exactly right though! 당신 in most contexts is inappropriate -- you'll pretty much only hear it when people are arguing, or it could be used between romantic couples. Otherwise, you shouldn't use it.

Instead, as you said, you should use either the person's name or title with the proper suffix. For instance:

존 씨 바빠요? = Are you busy? -> directed at someone named John

언니 바빠요? = Are you busy? -> asked by a woman directed at a woman who is older than her (언니 is used between women who are close with each other; it's less formal)

선생님 바쁘세요? = Are you busy? -> directed at a teacher

바쁘세요 is a more polite version of 바빠요.

Even though this looks like we're speaking in the third person to someone's face, don't worry -- this sounds perfectly natural in Korean!

You could also just drop the name/title altogether and just ask 바빠요? or 바쁘세요? and it will usually be understood to whom you are referring.

What about in informal contexts, like when you're talking to someone your age or younger than you? You can use 너 or 네가 or stick with their name. I hope this clears stuff up -- it can def seem unnatural to an English speaker, but with practice it’ll sound more natural! Thanks for the great question! 화이팅!

#apok q&a #apok #korean #korean language #korean q&a

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delicrieux · 4 years ago

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im sorry abt the current discourse going on but i just wanted to provide my perspective. u obviously dont have to post or respond if u dont want to.

i was born and raised in america in a urban area and i had no fucking clue what AAVE was. i was raised by a african-american mom and hispanic father so i myself am mixed and i can assure u that there is nothing wrong with myso. the internet has spread AAVE like a wildfire to the point where ppl dont know that it is its own language. i did a bunch of research on it last night and from what i gather, to be genuinely offensive and malicious abt it ud say things like "aave is improper english," "aint isnt a word," "use proper grammar," etc.

i have ur post notifications on (& have for a while) so i see a lot of the things u post and u do use some of the language (more common ones like "ion" and whatnot) so i dont rly understand y some of these anons r upset. u werent putting AAVE down in anyway imo. u simply used the language that uve seen and absorbed in the internet.

as for the american anons that were upset, u have to understand that expecting ppl to understand topics like AAVE that isnt even taught to americans is absurd. AAVE is widespread on the internet (tumblr, tiktok, instagram, twt, etc) so for english language learners that learn the language through internet exposure, they dont necessarily know what AAVE is and that it is its own language. be understanding and have patience abt these topics. u literally couldve just said "hey i noticed u used a lot of AAVE in myso, was that intentional bc of yns upbringing in brooklyn or was it unintentionally done?" be kind. pls.

dee, i truly hope u dont let this discourse get to u and u continue writing myso. if u dont ill totally understand tho. sending love 💕

no, its completely fine! conversations as these need to happen, i think they are very productive, and everyone (besides a few exceptions, naturally) have been overwhelmingly kind & understanding, which i appreciate very much <3 thank you offering more insight. xx

#i am also very happy so many ppl still love myso despite its faults #alrightlosangeles-afi

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thoughts-of-the-unheard · 4 years ago

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oh nothing in a book has ever made me as angry as fucking pissed off as i am now about the end of chain of iron and i have a lot to say on it (i have more to say on the last few chapters of chain of iron than i did on the entirety of the folk of the air series)

ill start with being glad lucie was able to raise jesse but definite reylo vibes there and im ignoring the end of that so watch me ignore if lucie dies ill be like yea ya know shes just,,, somewhere else but i hated how many secrets she kept from fucking everyone i mean she didnt tell a single person the whole truth of anything shes got secrets on top of secrets and thats not good but hey matthews drinking isnt good either and no one but the lucie and cordelia ever really say anything about that so theres that and im not counting james’ you dont love anyone as much as you love that bottle or w/e he said bc that wasnt talking to him to try to help and get him to stop drinking that was just a hit bc they were fighting and i hate that i hate that they were fighting bc they wouldnt have been if it wasnt for that fucking bracelet and which has caused so many fucking problems that i could cry in indignation bc its not its not fucking fair james spent the last what three years of his life in a fog not being able to feel and not being able to notice his parabatai slowly spiraling into a drunken depression from something thats not his fault at all i mean yes it is his fault that his mother took the potion but it is not his fault that the baby died thats no ones fault but whoever sold him the potion and yea he shouldnt have bought it in the first place but he was kid and he thought that was the only way he could get the truth and its unfair its fucking unfair and alistair god alistair he knows what he did in school was wrong but he saw it as the only way and now hes trying to make up for it and apologise and be a better fucking person and thomas sees that and thomas loves him for that and alistair wont let himself be loved and its not fair and anna oh anna talk about not letting yourself be loved she put on such a good front she did but she shouldnt have ariadne loves her and wants to be with her fully with her but anna has to understand the stigma of that and why ariadne cant come out yet hell thats still a problem today but we wont get into that because anna clearly loves ariadne but shes too afraid of getting hurt again and frankly she should just go for it i mean so what if you get hurt again at least youll finally feel something because i know she feels nothing for all those other girls i know theyre just replacements for ariadne and it isnt fair and speaking of replacements fucking grace fuck grace but fucking grace just casually destroying james life listen i dont give a shit how she grew up i couldnt care less about how tatiana treated her and how scared she was of her because if shed just fucking helped then she wouldnt have to worry about a damn thing from tatiana i mean theres a number of things grace couldve done she couldve told the merry thieves everything and they couldve defeated belial like they are now and then no one would be around to help tatiana and grace couldve told anyone in the clave about all of tatianas shit and then they wouldnt have underestimated her and she wouldve been in a proper prison and thus unable to escape so damn easily and thus not fucking able to get to grace okay shes a fucking idiot and i hate her and i hate reading about her and im fucking disappointed in her for not taking the damn bracelet off okay i had very fucking low standards for her but i hoped she would take the bracelet off and at the very least i thought she could fucking not manipulate him further like god damn girl james is a much nicer and understanding person than i am and he would try to protect her from tatiana if he knew that grace was being threatened by her if grace took the bracelet off and told him the truth he would help her i fully believe that but since he had to find out on his own he was furious as he should be but i dont think he had to be nice to her when she showed up at the end there i mean i wouldve just yanked her in the house and started yelling at her right there fuck pretending his still under that enchantment fuck talking to her in private okay id chew her out in the entryway its not like cordelia doesnt need to know she fucking does and i think her finding out by overhearing james arguing with grace is actually a fantastic way to find out because she gets to hear everything all of what james feels and all of what grace did completely unfiltered not that james would try to hide it from her but hed definitely try to soften the blow and i just think she needs to hear the whole truth and AND i really fucking hate when characters overhear only part of something and assume the worst and run away its so common and i hate it so much and i hate how she ran to matthews because i knew it was going to happen and i knew matthew was in love with her and that it was already straining their bond because no one fucking realised that james was madly fucking in love with cordelia because of that fucking bracelet have i mentioned have i mentioned how much that bracelet pisses me off i dont think i have lets get into it so how james was unable to feel properly for three years and how his head was so foggy he was unable to think properly too and how because of that he missed matthew becoming a drunk and how the merry thieves look to james as their leader so if james isnt saying anything about it then there must not be anything to say and how james was already in love with cordelia before the bracelet and thats part of why grace couldnt control him and how he loved her for years how he was in love with her for years how no one knew this not even him because everyone thought he was in love with grace how cordelia was in love with him but thought he was in love with grace how cordelia got married to him knowing she was in love with him and thinking he was in love with someone else how she could tell he wanted her but thinking he just wanted her body and that he was still in love with grace how she’d rather have some of him than none of him at all how he picked out everything in their house with cordelia in mind how he remembered that she loves chess and she never thought he would how he learned a whole other language for her how he immediately checks on her after every battle how everyone, especially cordelia, just writes all this off as who knows what because he cant be in love with cordelia if hes in love with grace and hes obviously in love with grace how no one could ever notice there was something wrong because they were feeling the effects too how james was so in love with cordelia that that love unintentionally broke an enchantment made specifically for james by a Prince Of Hell one of the most powerful beings the entire species will ever meet and i think that covers the gracelet situation but i keep thinking of the scene where the bracelet cracks when grace first went to curzon street and kissed james and james’ mind literally thinking it was cordelia because who else would he be kissing and afterward grace saying ‘i dont know who you think you were kissing, james herondale, but it wasnt me’ and im like damn right bitch get fucked but back to cordelia running to matthews okay i know she didnt know matthew was in love with her so she wasnt doing anything wrong going to him but i kept thinking they were going to kiss or something because we all know matthews in love with her and there were a bunch of hints that cordelia might be attracted to matthew and she was upset about james and i just kept thinking something bad would happen and i was right but shit i didnt think id be like that i had no idea matthew was leaving for paris and even less of an idea that cordelia would join him and the thing is i cant even be mad i cant blame her i would probably do the same thing hell id probably ask to go with and im very proud of her for saying she’d go If matthew stops drinking i really appreicate that and i hope he gets better but the all those misses how james left the house only minutes after cordelia and arrived at matthews only minutes after they left and how he could see them at the train station could see them getting on the train and leaving and leaving him behind because his sister is missing and he shouldve ran and caught them and begged them to stay if not just to help find lucie because they both think of lucie as a sister and they absolutely wouldve stayed to help her and then there would be the chance for james to explain the gracelet situation and everything would be fine it would fine eventually and everything would be okay but NO and ive said a lot but i havent even mentioned cordelia being a paladin for fucking lilith yet where did that come from i was not expecting that ill tell ya see i thought it was odd that wayland the smith would still be alive and that it wasnt mentioned in any of the other books and i thought it was odd that some apparently god-like blacksmith would be wearing such an elegant jeweled necklace and i thought it was odd that magnus would be back from the spiral labyrinth for just a day and would be staying with hypatia instead of ya know his own place but shit id never have put it together as one person let alone lilith and i cant say it came out of nowhere because it said that edom used to be liliths so it would make sense that she would want belial gone so she could have it back but still that was unexpected but im not disappointed i mean im obviously upset that cordelia is now pledged to the mother of demons and feels like she cant even touch a weapon speaking of which what did she do with cortana where did she put it she said she dealt with it which makes me nervous but we know she couldnt have broken it or anything a) because i dont think she physically can and b) emma has cortana later but i think cordelia should keep cortana close since its the only thing that can mortally would belial and apparently he only needs one more before something happens im guessing before hes like gone gone so she definitely needs cortana and lilith wants her to kill belial so i think she should and if shes stuck as liliths paladin after that and never wants to touch a weapon again so be it but get rid of belial first ya know anyway i think there was something else i wanted to say but i cant remember so if you read all of this holy shit im sorry thats a lot i hope it was entertaining at least and i hope i didnt also get you pissed off

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elysianslove · 4 years ago

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YES I SAW UR REPLY AND I GOT TOO EXCITED TO THE POINT THAT IDK HOW TO RESPOND LOL IM SORRY 😭 BUT TYSM LOVE AND TO SAY IM OVER THE MOON IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT 😩💖

OMG DONT U DARE TAKE BACK UR QUESTION 😡‼️ im v honored to be asked by u and imma answer this wholeheartedly 😎🤚🏻

lil head ups : (1) english isnt my first language so im sorry if theres any grammar error or other type of mistakes (2) i dont hv that much of informations ab u so i wrote this based on what i personally like ab u & which hq boys would prob too (3) i put mini scenarios to spice things up a lil bit 🧚🏻‍♀️ so here u go!

HAIKYUU BOYS THAT I THINK SAL WOULD DEF BE ABLE TO PULL AND WHY

hanamaki takahiro -> he likes u bc ur a fun companion. he's abs head over heels ever since u laughed at his worn-out fave jokes and how u two can talk abt literally anything for hours — from the serious type of convo like idk some science theories or certain beliefs to the most random things like what would u do if an alien barge into ur house when ur in the mid of showering.

akaashi keiji -> he likes u bc ur a great listener. he is very used to being everyone's listener — not that it bothers him much but sometimes he wants to be heard and to earn proper respond to his story too. i'd like to think that he is also the class president bc nobody is as dependable as akashi keiji in the whole universe & he simply couldnt say no — so going back to class bc u forgot ur pencil case just to see ur composed looking class president screaming on top of his lung is one in a lifetime sight. u just stand there🧍🏻‍♀️and say “uh do u perhaps need someone to talk to?” he remains quite for a good minute to restrain himself from embarrassment then proceed to say yeah. since that day, he never misses out ur daily life-rambles session.

miya atsumu -> he likes u bc ur considerate and good with words. im a strong believer that my boy is one of the most insecure character in haikyuu — seeing him not that sociable in the flashback scene and how cocky he could be to maintain his defensive walls. so the one thing he needs the most is reassurance, constant reminder that he's doing great. not that u do it all the time, but u always there in the most needed time. he didnt tell u his feelings tho bc his ego doesnt let him — at least thats what hes trying to convince himself, but its actually bc he cherishes u sm that he doesnt want to lose u due to his own selfishness.

i had so much fun writing these so i hope they do u justice && as always im here to remind u : dont forget to stay happy & healthy & hydrated esp these days during ramadan 😻💞 i hope this ask wont get deleted by tumblr bc i actually responded to ur thought ab fasting with seijoh 4 but i think tumblr threw it away 😢

— 🐬

PLEASE I HAVENT OPENED TUMBLR FOR LIKE 2 DAYS AND I COME ABCK TO THISBEIENEJDJ

what do i even say i ,,, i genuinely wasn’t expecting all this 😭 the fact that you not only answered it but went in depth can i marry u like 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 pls 💍 and the fact that you think so highly of me im so honored :( this is my favorite ask i’ve ever gotten im gonna bookmark this so i could just come back to it whenever :( it’s gonna be forever special to me so thank you <3 and don’t even about the english thing. my first language isn’t english either :) and!!! the fact that you can speak it and another fluently (maybe even more) is impressive as hell.

ALSOJEBSJD IM GLAD U GOT THE REPLY!! may 1st baby 😼 and ill try to look for the ask about fasting w the seijoh boys bc :((((

anyways i love you and thank you for this it made my day a thousand times better. i hope you’re always well and happy, mwah <3

#asks #sal speaks <3

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chaoticgirl-writing · 4 years ago

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Shut up, Dumbass

Alrighty so here is another lil peek of a book im writing. Idk where im gonna post the finished product but that isnt gonna be for a long while. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this lil bit!!

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x Oc

Word count: 1905

Warnings: maybe some mild language, mentions of depression, mentions of su!cide attempt

“Alright, you two. Get some sleep. You both did great today.” The short haired woman smiled softly, lightly kissing her son’s head.

“Get off me, you hag.” The blonde groaned, lightly shoving his mother off.

“Goodnight, Mrs. Bakugo.” The two toned girl said almost inaudibly, laughing when the male lightly shoved her in order to draw her attention from the screen.

“Katsuki, be nice.” Mitsuki teased. “Kick his ass, Aki.”

The small girl grinned, shifting to her knees as her fingers moved quickly on the controller. The character she controlled, Sheik, landed a hit on Link, sending him off the platform. “Dammit!” Katsuki cursed, making the girl next to him laugh, earning another shove in response. Link respawned at the top of the screen and hopped back into battle against the female. She easily kicked the male, sending him over the edge once again.

“Quit it!” The blonde growled, attacking the female character once more. Akari simply giggled, easily evading his attack and sending him off the platform once more.

Game Over

“Damnit!”

“Ha! 8th time!”

“You’re not supposed to be talking!”

“Give me my prize, bitch!”

“Stop talking, dumbass!”

“Make me-” The blonde covered her mouth, silencing her.

“You’ll get ice cream if you shut up-Ew! Did you just lick me?” Snatching his hand back with a look of disgust, Katsuki wiped his hand on the multicolored girl’s sleeve. “You’re gross.”

“And you’re a sore loser. Pay up.” Akari signed, making the blonde grumble with a small smile.

“Tomorrow. We’ll go wherever you want and get ice cream.” He yawned, arms stretching above his head before laying on the girl’s lap.

“You’re a dork.” She whispered, playing with Katsuki’s hair as he put on a movie.

“Shut up.” She rolled her eyes, placing a hand behind her back and leaning back on it, continuing to play with the blonde stands.

The male relaxed on her lap, closing his eyes as soft music played in the background. The small girl silently studied the male’s face, losing herself in her thoughts.

Just months ago he had hardly even taken note of her existence, not even acknowledging the fact that she sat next to him in class. Simply staring blankly when his friends and classmates made nasty comments about her, or shoved her around. Even despite that fact, she decided to confess to him, not caring what happened.

Maybe he would say he liked her too. Maybe something would come out of nothing, ending the torment that plagued her everyday life.

Instead, he rejected her, saying he could never be with her and walking away. No one seemed to have found out though, and she was grateful that he seemed to have enough, if not respect, then something close to it, for her to keep him from telling the entire school about it.

Then, a mere week or so later, he found her on that rooftop and saved her life. When the school year started and Bakugo realized they were in the same class, he became more protective of her suddenly. He was always taking care of her and doing all he could to keep her safe.

Meanwhile, Katsuki was stuck in his own thoughts.

When Akari confessed to him, he was startled. He had never talked to the once dark haired girl before that, and hearing that she admired him despite that fact made him feel something that he didn't quite like. Guilt? Doubt? He didn’t quite know, and he wasn’t used to it. Sure, he was quite used to girls walking up to him and trying to flirt with him, or ask him on a date, but he always declined, they never piqued his interest. This girl however, did all that and more.

When she confessed to him, she began by stating the little things she had grown to find charming about him. Things he didn’t even seem to notice, let alone the other girls that had tried catching his attention.

“The way you furrow your eyebrows when you get lost in thought, or the way you gently chew on your lip before raising your hand to answer a question. The little nervous tic you have where you tap your middle finger and thumb together and bounce your knee, or the way you twirl your pencil while reading through a question on a test. Your eyes soften, you get this warm smile and the tension in your shoulders relax when you talk about becoming a hero. You act all tough, but it’s obvious that there’s a part of you that’s scared. Everything about you is quite.. poetic in a way, Bakugo, and I’m sorry for laying all of this on you, but I couldn’t just let it go without saying. I couldn’t let something like this just disappear into the void without even giving you a chance to hear it.”

His chest tightened as her words replayed in his head.

She had already made her choice when she told me.

Red eyes flickered to the bright green ones above him, clouded with emotion as she stared at the television.

Could I have changed her mind?

A lump formed in the blonde’s throat.

If I had realized my feelings towards her sooner-

He struggled to swallow the lump as he sat up slowly, eyes the color of peacock feathers on a sunny day flickered to him.

If I had actually waited before walking away, if I had actually put thought into it there and not after I had caught her from falling off of that building would things be different-

“Katsuki?” The soft sound of her raspy voice pulled him from the thoughts plaguing his head.

Ruby eyes remained unreadable as they searched her face for some sort of answer, his brows furrowed in confusion.

“Katsuki?” She tried once more, a soft hand gently resting on his cheek making his eyes soften. “Is everything alright?” He stayed silent, continuing to search her face as his larger calloused hand rested on top of hers. They stayed there for a moment, silently studying the other’s features, oblivious to the fact the gap between them was slowly decreasing by the second.

It was only when their faces were millimetres from meeting that the blonde’s ruby orbs glanced down at the girl’s slightly parted lips in a silent ask for permission. She didn’t respond, senses on overdrive as she allowed her eyes to close and the space between them to shrink even more. His lips gently brushed against hers, and-

Snapping her eyes open, Akari practically leaped from the mattress, the pillow on her lap toppling to the floor as she stood.

“I need to..” Her feet moved before she could think of a proper end to her sentence, leading her out the door to his bedroom and down the stairs.

“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” Their voices rang into the empty air around them in unison.

“Damnit, Katsuki, why did you try to kiss her?”

“Akari, why didn’t you kiss him?”

Their hands trembled as they each muttered curses to themselves. Him for doing something to, what he assumed was making her uncomfortable, and her for chickening out last second.

“He was right there you could’ve-” A growl escaped her lips as she held her hands out and attempted to strangle the air in frustration.

“Why the hell would she kiss you? She already told you how she felt and you being the dumbass you are told her no.” Bakugo groaned in irritation as he ran his fingers through his hair and glanced at the clock.

7:54pm

“I probably stink from the sports festival.” He stood, pushing his irritation to the back of his mind as he turned off the movie and gathered his things for a shower before making his way to the bathroom.

The multicolored girl sluggishly made her way back upstairs, hating the thought of being alone in such a big house without a voice if she were to need to use her quirk or call out for help.

You’re such an idiot. You’ve liked him for how long? And yet you still chickened out when given the chance to kiss him? You’re such a coward.

She paused for a moment at the door, mustering up the courage to go back in and face him, to apologize for freaking out over nothing, and maybe asking for a redo.

Opening the door, what was left of her voice caught in her throat and her hands stilled as she came face to face with an empty room. The remote Katsuki had been using was placed on the shelf with the gaming console below the television, the one she had been using on the bed where she had left it. The sound of the shower turning on across the hall answered the silent question of where the blonde had gone.

Moving over to her bag, Aki pulled out a worn hardcover black notebook and a pen, before settling down on the mattress and beginning to write.

It was moments like these where she would write down one of those “letters” that she usually had no intention of giving to the person it was directed to. Oftentimes, those “letters” turned into songs, ones that she would hope to be able to perform for someone, anyone, even the person she wrote it for.

This would be a lot easier if I had my guitar or something.

She sighed, writing down the rhythm in a mix of Morse code like symbols and music notes.

Katsuki’s shower finished sooner than he would’ve normally liked, often standing under the hot water until it turned cold, thus being the reason why he showered after his parents went to sleep. He was nervous to go back to his room in fear of what Aki might say, but he knew he had to at some point.

Steam filled the hallway as he opened the door, taking note of the slightly cracked door of his bedroom.

Why are you acting like this? It’s just Aki.

Opening the door, his heart fluttered at the sight before him. The small girl sat with a leg laid out straight, the other bent as she wrote in a notebook placed on her knee. The soft sound of her humming filled the bedroom as he stood in the doorway.

Gently twirling the pen in her hand, she tilted her head back, resting it on the wall as she thought of what to write next.

“My luck couldn’t get any worse.” She chuckled lightly, twirling the pen once more before sitting back up and writing something down, not seeming to notice the blonde standing at the door.

“Hey.” He called softly making the two toned haired girl jump and clutch the notebook to her chest as her face heated up in embarrassment. She opened her mouth to speak before opting for a simple wave. “Listen I-” Fists clenched at his sides as he sighed, looking towards the ceiling, searching for the right words to say.

Quietly setting her notebook down on the bed, Akari stood and moved towards him, her heart fluttering at the thought of what she was about to do.

“I’m sorry-” A small hand tilted his chin down, the small girl placing her free hand on the back of his neck and gently pulling him towards her as she stood on her toes to help close the distance between them.

“Shut up, Dumbass.”

#katsuki #bakugo #bakugou #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #bakugo katsuki #bakugou katsuki #x oc #bakugo x oc #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia x oc #mha x oc #boku no hero #sfw

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watchyourbluesturngolden · 4 years ago

Text

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

#annotations #ysijwa

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thereal-dj215 · 5 years ago

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I gave social media a break cuz it was really starting to look like a place where mostly everyone came to complain, cry, speculate, assume, showoff, and pretend to be something that we weren't, and I was guilty of it to. So if my 14 year old daughter doesn't even have a Facebook account by choice then I think I can give it a break for a lil. And it's not because she's not allowed to have social media that she doesn't participate. It's because she realized right away what it was, and even worse where it's going. And that's what made me take a real hard, honest look at myself, and what I been doing as far as the negative energy I been putting out into the world. And let me first be clear, I'm not accusing everyone of using social media that way, but let's be honest. I'm just guessing, probably 80% of what we post and see on social media sites is bullshit, lies, propaganda, fiction, and I can go on, but you get what I'm trying to say. That's what we're wasting our time on, instead of using that time to better ourselves, and the world around us. That's what we're filling our heads with, and even worse its what our children are filling their heads with, and we're allowing it, basically telling them that it's okay to believe everything you see on social media. It's okay to treat people the way a lot of people are treated these days on social media sites. I've heard parents try to explain to me their logic behind them thinking "social media isnt that bad for the children", And I'm overreacting, "it's really not that deep" they say to me. I'm just gonna give one example but I've heard worse then this but I heard a parent say "it's doesn't mean anything, or it's ok for lil Johnny to treat someone with evil intent, bully, or make fun of other people on social media because it's only a computer".............. If your jaw isn't already stuck wide open in shock I'll wait a little longer for that comment to sink in..........

Ok, isn't that just the dumbest, most naive thing you ever heard? What's even crazier then that is that a lot of people actually think like this. Their is another human being on another computer, phone, laptop, what ever smart device that is reading that. Someone else's daughter, or son. Please try and think about that. And definitely think about that with even more concer before whatever it is your about to post, share, or comment on because you really can't say how many people possibly are going to see it and we have to be more mindful of that. I'm gonna stop here cuz I can go on for ever on this topic, and all different directions with this. I definitely will continue to post more of my thoughts like this in the days to come. But I'm asking you to do just a couple easy things during these crazy times we ARE ALL going through.. Turn off the news, stop watching/listening to all the Coronavirus hoopla for at least a half hour. I would recommend more time but really this can help even if you do this for a half hour each day.

1st. Go on social media, and scroll down your wall and really try and pay attention to all the different posts, examine everything, the messages, the messengers, the reactions/comments, the language used, the ages of the people of some of the comments that catch your eye. Really pay attention, and do this all with an open mind and being true to yourself.

2nd. Now, ask yourself. And again really try to be honest, because your only fooling yourself in the end.. Is this something that is good for humanity? Should children be allowed to navigate on these social media sites freely and without any kind of proper training (that's a whole topic I'll get into another time), ask yourself is this really something that is helping humanity in a positive way, or is it hurting us?? Seriously, their is no right or wrong answers. This is all a matter of opinion, and who knows, (my ultimate goal) We can learn something from all this if we are true to ourselves, and respectful, and open to others opinions. Another question I almost always find myself asking when I login to my social media, Am I going to finally not see a negative, disrespectful comment or post today, because theirs never been a time when I logged on to social media sites at least for 10 mins and could say, Finally, a day where everyone was nice and respectful today. No one's feelings got hurt, and Everyone told the truth.(another goal I want to achieve).

Now this has always been on my mind. I have a lot of mixed emotions about social media, and let me say this, not everything on social media is negative. It has its moments, but let's be real. Their few and far between. Since this Virus,(I refuse to say the whole word ever again) has lead us to social distance ourselves physically from each other, and the government pretty much stopped and we were forced to stay inside. Here's another one of my wild guesses, I'm It's prolly just easier to say we have increased our social media use a lot more . So I've had a lot more time to really get to know myself, and others as well, and I'm including human beings as a whole in that. I'm guilty of this to. But we really need to take a look at how were acting, what were saying to each other, what were teaching our kids and that means what were letting them think it's okay for them to just log onto a site that you really don't know who's on the other end of one of them mean, disrespectful, or even positive comments aimed to lure them in for all the wrong reasons.

Ok ok I'm rambling.. . I think I heard this on Jerry Springer show ages ago..Lol

My Final Thought: "Be mindful of what we say on the internet, and how we say it. Pay more attention to what our kids are looking at on the net as a whole not just social sites. Let them know not everything, and everyone is truthful on there. But this most of all and why I originally started this post, WE NEED TO BE HONEST AT ALL TIMES TO OTHERS, OUR CHILDREN, but most of all, OURSELVES....

This was started mostly as a form of meditation for myself because writing is one of the few things that relaxes me. Another reason was Im always in protection mode for my daughter. And to take my mind off all the Coronavirus BS, and all while doing that I always hope I'm helping others in some way. Thank You,

D.J.

Feel free, I encourage you to comment, leave your thoughts, and share this with others please. If you wanna help others like I do then please share this, cuz that will help me to continue to write, and better myself and hopefully reach others that don't know certain things and get something from this...

#keepingit100 #meditation #howifeelisreal #realone #uownyourbrain #savehumanity #makeyourmark #scaredishealthy #pain=life

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juniemunie · 6 years ago

Text

HTTYD Books: How To Ride a Dragon’s Storm Commentary :P (w/text pictures!)

((shoutout to astrid-the-fearless that started the whole thing and giving me permission <3))

Yoooo this is how far I’m in the books right now thanks to the blessing of pdfs and I thought; “Hey? Lemme try reacting to this!!”

Mind you, this is ridiculously long and it’s all because of the pictures I added in lmao so peruse for your amusement ((I might continue this just for kicks :P))

So it begins!

-everything went wrong when the fire nation attacked

-OOh! Swimming competition?? Don’t count me in!! I’m terrible at swimming, in fact, I don’t know how to do it at all!!! :DDD

-of course the competition has to have a spice of suicidal bravery and possible death

-clueless, tf dude

-aRE WE GONNa TIME TRaVEL??? WHaTS THE WHOLE aLaRM THING OLD WRINKLY??? EXPLaINNNN HoW DID U EVEN KNOW????

-the judges are basically 99% old dudes 99% of the time

-aweeee toothless u cutie

-snotlout my boy, sometimes i really want to strangle u, u know

-yooo sTOICK U'RE DOING UR BEST THE BEST ISNT aLaWYS THE MOST OBVIOUS he's trying im proud that he's trying

-good ol teamwork

-nONONONONO DONT TRUST EM

-u got bamboozled

-only in the near end of his life, yeah

-oh man hes gonna kill em again

-same

-awe, she's just like meatlug

-uh oh

-bet y'all it gets worse

-damn straight

-sHOOT CaMI NOOO-

-i hear the Jaw's theme song guys

-tOOTHLESS KEEPS TRYING ;-;

-well you're a jolly dragon23

-how was this marketed for children again

-brUH U SERIOUS?? I JUST THOUGHT IT Was only nORBERT

-woh fist time getting a look on nobert and he looks cool

-whoops u gon axe him again??

-u mean an unfortunate series of events??? wink wink

-i wouldn't go there if i were you its completely messy there

-buddy this dude has survived so many times out of pure dumb luck

-theres still more to go hiccup so much more

-awww this is such a throwback to the first book

-norbert is a crazy inventive dude i wanna see how well he goes with movie hiccup in the right circumstances :/

-thats a problem

-im not sure whether to be terrified or impressed

-yoooo hiccup youre right youre prize is absolute misery

oh no

-whoops i guess this is where he became a slave??

-bitter grandma is bitter than all my mates when discussing love42

-oH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD THIS IS IT HES GOING TO BECOME a SLaVE HOLD ME

-nONONONONONONONO NOOOOOOOO

-my poor boy my POOR BOY

-oh man i knew this already but its still giving me shivers

-look at these drunk cuties lmao

-perfect excuse toothless hiccup totally believes u

-yOOO dragon nip exists in the books too!!!??

-This is one happy lot

-( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

-Uh oh

-Look at this happy boy <3

-U sure??? I don’t think so

-Oh shit.

-oHHHH shitTTTT

-u aint wrong tho

-hahahaAHAHAHAHA not yET

-well fuck

-YO. WATCH YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE.

-Oh. My fucking god.

-pHYSICS WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY US-

-Knock knock its death’s doorstep

-Chances are, it wont.

-yEP

-“dafuq, why the hell is he running at us??” “maybe he’s given up”

“is it just me or is that an eye back there? “oh sHIT-“

-Y’all these kids know the drill already

-Toothless’ still asleep during the whole ordeal lmao

-So that’s how it works…69

-Stuff like that usually happens boyo they’ll prolly be back

-Poor Ronald.

-Not anOTHER ONE

-Shouldve made a spare and changed it while you were still in the border smh *Cinema Sins Ding*

-same

-a terrifying but intriguing thought.

-These sweet loyal kids backin up their parents yo ((Poor Fishlegs))

-i like the books that they portray a more worrier Stoick but the movieversion is also great too

-DON’T BELIEVE IT STOICK

-This LITTLE SHIT

-what??? really?? That’s a dumb revenge excuse :/

-We DON’T

-Holy shit he survived ((just like his third son cOUGH COUGH))

-In short; “Sorry to disappoint the masses, but I AM STILL ALIVE”83

-YOOOOO OLD WRINKLY KNEW??? HE’S AWESOME aND INSaNE!

-Poor stoick, tbh if he was movie stoick he’d have a heartattack by now

-Shit I feel bit teary in the eyes-DON’T LOOK AT ME!

-True just like this post that has way too much pictures like tf

-Sweet, but WHY WOULD yOU LEaVE THEM BEHIND???

-tbh this is both true

-Basically every country that was going to pillage America

-Oh shit times up

-whA-AA-At???

-Hiccup u little shit

-Discrimination between hair color too??? Jesus. Just when I thought skin colors -were ridiculous

-Have I told y’all I love sword fighting hiccup?? Because I do

-Nooo not his poor beard agaIN

-Oh. Oh no.

-fuck.

-Godzilla??? That u??

-tHINK aGaIN

-Tbh cats are sometimes really cruel ; - ;

-Nope. Theres always a chance of death bro

-OF COURSE IT WaS.

-This ridiculously huge shit

-Geezus. You’re fucked hiccup.

-Press F to pay respect

-ToothLESS HICCUP IS GONNa FUCKIN DIE

-TOOTHLESS U LITTLE SHIT

-Tbh, he does have a point

-Friendly reminder hiccup wrote this himself

-Hiccup the Insane. Sounds about right

-Me procrastinating some stuff i cant procrastinate while everything is going wrong

-yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-yOOOOOOOO tf he doin??

-“yo bro”

“yeah loki?”

“some kid’s asking for your help. It’s getting pretty intense.”

“really? Lemme see”

“see?”

*whistles* “wow, he’s crazy. I like it.”

-“wtf is this dumb redhead doing??” everyone thought simultaneously

-oHHHHHH LIGHTNING LIKES METaL!!!!

-Benjamin Franklin can eat HIS HEaRT OUT123

“wow thor, you actually helped”

“¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

“how tf did you say that”

-Ship: If I die, I die with STYLE.((Like Grimbeard fucker sang to his death while burning his entire kingdom down))

-SWIM FISHLEGS SWIM ((wow he c an swim now amazing what near death experiences teach you))

-Poor toothless ; - ;126

-Itsss the cirrccccleeeeee the ciiirrrccclleeeee of liiiiiifeeeee

-Lets hope I wont learn to swim in this emotionally draining way 0-0

-Tbh this is kinda terrifying imagine if they died this way 0-0

-I KNEW THEYD BE BaCK YOU BETTER BRING HICCUP aBOaRD U LITTLE SHIT

-Oh thank god

-In short; “we have ship standards, peasants.”

-LaTE FOR a VERY IMPORTaNT DaTE

-G G. u did ur best lol

-yEEEE YOU BEST KNOW IT HICCUP Me BOYYY

-They gONNa FLYYYYY

-FISHLEGS MY BOY WERE GONNa DO IT WHETHER U WaNT TO OR NOT

-That’s THE TRUE CHIEFTaN WaY BOIS EXaCTLY HOW STOICK DIED- I mean shit uh

-Awww berk would love u back in their own way too

-*sobbing in the distance* ((fuckin alvin))

-yOU BET THEY ALL ARE

-“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” screamed the Reader.

-Happy sweet old senile future guessing dudes make me happy ; v ;

-How tf would it be deer

-Just like Grimbeard did.

-YOOOO IM SO PROUD OF YOU FISHLEGSSSS

-“IM SORRY TO DISAPPOINT THE MASSES, BUT I AM STILL ALIVE.”

-SNOTLOUT DO U WANT TO BE DEAD??? ((before your proper death))

-When Old Wrinkly is mad at u, you better be ashamed of urself.

-He really is Grimbeard’s Heir ain’t he? ; v ;

-Uhhh more common than u think boyo *turns to Harry Potter*

-oooHHH u done for gumboil

-My heart kindly says mercy, but my mind screams revenge

-SHit stop giving me ides to draWWWWW

-Somethings are often just found at home <3 like my MISSING PENCIL WHERE TF IS IT

-Summary of Httyd 2 Hiccup

-SO MUCH WISDOM IN THE EPILOGUE HICCUP SLOW DOWN

-Nooo HICCUPPPP- THE DRagONSSSSS

-DON’T REMIND ME OF THE SLaVEMaRK U CRUEL BEING

wow

that was a ride from start to end. (pUN INTENDED)

things are getting intensee

*scrambles to read the next book*

#httyd books #comments #this was fun #how to train your dragon #how to train your dragon books #httyd

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starrbomb · 7 years ago

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For your langst prompt thing, maybe Lance actually having major depressive disorder and starting to crumble under it. The team starts to notice and confront him. Then as a group they try to help him through it. It's not very original, I know...

honey, it doesnt matter if it’s not very original, its something that you want to see and that is all the reason i ever need to write for you. and as for this prompt, this actually hits quite close to home ( since i myself also have clinical depression and went years without proper treatment) so if you yourself are dealing with this, you aren’t alone darlings.

__________________________________________If anyone ever asked lance when all of it started he could never really pin point it to an exact cause or time in his life.

it’s just always been there.

thinking back on it now, he would say that the excessive amount of anxiety has been with him since first grade. a knot that formed in his stomach and wouldn’t go away, a knot that just seemed to weigh him down and make every movement forward feel like the wrong thing. something in his head telling him that going to school was a bad thing; that something bad was going to happen if he went to school. but when he tried to explain it to his parents, they just told him that it was probbly just a stomachache, that everything was fine.

but that unnamable knot came back every time he got ready to go out somewhere, or whenever he had to do something that he didn’t believe he would succeed in. it always came back and made things seem impossible to do alone; that if he tried something wrong would happen and it would be all his fault.

but he learned how to deal with it; albiet not in the best way, but it was better than being trapped in his own heartrate and short breaths. sometimes he could ignore the feeling, push through it to do mundane things like homework and chores. other times, all he could do to stop an anxiety attack was to just avoid the subject all together.

the depression came into play around high school; making friends was hard and the bullying for his accent and where he came from was even harder, it didnt help that he was pretty much the baby of the family; all of his siblings had already graduated back in cuba so there was no one to keep an eye out for him at school and struggling with both understanding the lessons he was given and the complex language barrier that he still had between himself and everyone else at the school, it all took its toll on him. whenever he came back from school, he woould go straight to his room and collapse on his bed, wishing for sleep to just take him away from all the hateful words and mocking he got from his ‘classmates’ day in and day out. he barely ate, even when it was his mother’s cooking that wafted into his room. he just couldn’t gather the motivation to go out of his room and be apart of the world. not while his bed was so safe and warm and judgement free.

it was after Lance had missed three school days in a row like this that his mother and father had realized just how bad things were for lance. they took him to a psychiatrist to see what was wrong and what they needed to do to get their old Lance back.

and thats when he was diagnosed with major clinical depressive disorder.

his doctors immediately had him start taking anti depressents and anti anxiety medication; switching between this one and that one before they finally found one that worked with him and his body. it was slow going at first, and many times it felt like it wasn’t doing anything at all, but then one day lance was doing his usual chores and realized that it didnt take as much energy as before to do it, he wasn’t wrestling with himself to get things done as much as he used to. he actually felt somewhat…..normal. he felt light.

Lance always made sure to keep some of his AD and AA on him at all times, just in case he had to rush to his classes or accidentally forgot to take them. he didn’t expect to be thrown out into space with just a handful of his medication on him and no one actually knowing about his mental problems. he didn’t expect to be blown up, destroying what little remained of his medications, protecting the one man who could have made him more of them if he had known about them.

but now, here he was in the middle of space with nothing left of his medication, and all he could do was hope that now that he knew what it was like to actually feel happy and carefree and……normal, he wouldn’t be as effected by the sudden stop of his meds. he knew it would take a few days for the medication to completely work out of his system so he took the short amount of time left that he had of feeling normal to make ways for hijm to try and find that normalcy again without the help of his meds.

but soon enough, the dark feelings came back. it was slow at first; taking longer to get ready for training, loosing the energy to go all out during sparring sessions. Lance could tell that the others were picking up on his weird behavior, how he didn’t really contribute to conversations anymore and that he even stopped flirting with the princess. it was as if they were watching their blue paladin slowly die right in front of their eyes; and they had no idea as to why. they all became so worried about their friend that they all met together during one of Lance’s now usual naps.

“ I’m sao worried, what if he’s planning on leaving? what if he just disappears in the middle of the night? what if- what if-” Hunk stammers out, tears threatening to spill as he works himself farther and farther into an anxiety attack. thankfully Pidge takes a hold of his hand and makes him sit down on the sunken couch and does her best to calm him down, “ Hunk, its okay. Lance would never just up and leave us. you know that he still loves us and even if he is acting like this, he cares about us too much to ever just leave……right?” Hunk isnt sure if she was trying to goad him into agreeing or if she was trying to find the answer to calm down her own worries about their friend, but he nods anyways, taking a look back up to his friends as a way of saying that he’s okay.

“maybe it is a bug that has number three acting so out of sorts; like the stomach one that number five got just a few weeks ago!” Coran suggested, getting a few spare chuckles out of Hunk and Shiro. “ while that is a good theory Coran, im not sure that’s what going on with Lance. it doesn’t seem like he’s sick with anything; it’s like the life is being sucked right out of him.” Shiro states, getting a gasp from Allura. all eyes turn to her as she whispers “ What if this is Haggard’s and Zarkon’s doing? what if they are actually draining the life right out of him.” everyone seem to pale at the thought of it, Shiro unconciously gripping the forearm of his artifical limb.

the tense moment is quickly intrupted as Lance runs into the room, sweat staining his undershirt and a terrified look of desperation painting his face.

“Lance?!”

many of the occupants in the room standing as Lance seems to heave a sigh of relief and almost collapses in the doorway, heaving in breath after breath as if he has been running for hours. Thankfully, Coran was close by and caught him from completely falling and helped him slwoly down to the floor, the others immediately rushing to his side.“Lance?”“are you okay?”“what’s wrong?”“are you hurt?”

everyone asking question on top of question at once, not sure what to do to help and yet wanting to do anything to try. once it seemed like lance somewhat caught his breath, he chokes out “sorry- sorry I-” Shiro takes hold of Lance’s hands, getting him to look at him. and Shiro was surprised to see such a sad and scared look in his eyes. “ Lance, you did nothing wrong. you just scared us a little. can you tell us what got you so panicked?” Lance doesn’t seem eager to share, but he manages to squick out “ it’s just me being stupid.” Pidge is the one to speak up this time, squirming her way to being face to face with Lance “ Lance, you aren’t stupid. trust me, I’m the smartest one around and i’m telling you the truth: you. are. not. stupid.” Lance can’t help but let out a breathy chuckle. “ but this part of me is.” Pidge puffs up with irriation and is obviously ready to speak up again, when Lance beats her to it “ i know, i know im not stupid, but this part of my brain makes me think stupid things” lance starts out strong, trying calm down the others, but the more he talks the quieter and timid he becomes, baiting everyone to barely breath so that they can hear every word, “ I thought that it was really quiet and then my anxiety kinda took over and made me start thinking that you all had just left me and that you didn’t care about me and i know that’s stupid; i know that you guys would never do that to me but i couldn’t stop thinking like that and i was getting scared that the stupid voice inside my head was right so i started looking for you guys and i didn’t find you guys anywhere and that just kept feeding my anxiety more and more and that just fueled the depression and i started running everywhere looking for you guys and i’m sorry, I know i’m ranting and stuff but it was just like before back home and i thought i had better control of it but I-” Lance is immediately cut off by Pidge throwing herself into his lap, knocking him out of his spiralling thoughts and back to his surroundings and noticed that all of his friends were on the brink or already crying, he can feel the small wet patch on his undershirt from where Pidge has buried her head into his stomach, clinging to him as if that would be enough to hold him together. man, he really was falling apart at the seams, huh? he thought he had it under control, but instead it caused him to go back into that dark and negative head space all over again.

“lance? do- do you honestly believe that we would-” keith whispers out, not even having enough strength to finish the sentence

“no! no, i know you guys would never abandon me! its just my anxiety and depression making me think stupid things that i know aren’t true and yet it makes things feel like they are. that’s why i said that that part of me is stupid.” Lance stammers out, clutching to Shiro’s hand and Pidge as he explains. “ it’s just been so hard to keep my anxiety and depression under control since i lost my meds.”

“then why didn’t you tell us that you were struggling and needed medinical help? you know we wouldn’t have judged you for needing help.” Keith counters, his sadness and betrayal leeching into his words.

Lance looked down at the ground at the words, knowing that they were true, even if Shiro was getting on Keith for being angery at him because of something that Lance couldn’t control. “i-” he whispers, catching everyone’s attention once again, “ i thought that you guys wouldn’t understand, or that you wouldn’t care. i know that it was just those dark thoughts spreading lies in my head, but they can be really persuasive when they want to be.”

Shiro looks back towards Lance’s hunched over form, unconciously protecting him from the outside world and the ominious what ifs that seem more like mountains to him than the mole hills they truly are.

“Lance….” shiro waits until Lance finally looks up, a look on his face as though he’s bracing for the worst. “ I’m glad that you shared this with us, it must have been really hard to talk about this. im proud of you.”

it was with those words that Lance felt like he was able to take a full breath again. they didn’t hate him for hiding this from them; they weren’t going to leave him. and for the first time in weeks, Lance felt like everything was going to be okay, even if its just for a little bit. and that’s all he could ask for in that moment. everything was going to work itself out.

#langst #voltron #Lance angst #depression #anxiety #did I put in my own experiences in this?#why yes I did #prompt #mental disorder #please if you are taking anti depressants #DONT QUIT THEM COLD TURKEY #Lance #voltron au #platonic paladins

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strawberryspeachy · 4 years ago

Text

K. I know alt stands for ASSITANT language teacher

But 2 things. 1) assitants fucking DO THINGS

2) the way they sell this job is like youre a teacher.

Constantly in this job i am treated like a clown.

And im gonna tag this and im probably gonna receive the same comments i get irl from rose tinted glassed ‘japanese people can do no wrong’ people

Thus far ive worked in 4 junior highs and 3 elementarys

Most of the teachers no matter where they are just seem so incompetent

Its no big deal that the teachers arent fluent in english - isnt that literally why alts are here??? So why don’t they ever take advice?!???

Im so fucking sick of being told how to speak my fucking language.

And not the ‘speak slower’ ‘speak simpler’ thats fine and ill accept criticism on my ability to communicate to people learning english as a second language. Not that.

Grammar, pronunciation, sentence structure - and what sounds natural

I hate the videos that are made for classrooms. And the fucking books

“A native speaker wrote it” - k no. Having worked here i know exactly how that went down. A japanese person wrote it, then went to either a business kiss ass ‘japan can do no wrong’ person. Or. Bullied someone into saying it was good by doing that annoying ass thing japanese people do

Where they ask the question over and over with “ok?” At the end. Cause they dont want an answer - they just wanna be told that theyre right or to do whatever they want. And they do not plan on receiving any answer besides “youre correct”

Its awkward cause ive literally been annoyed at my friend in the past for complaining about having a job where she does nothing and gets paid. Now i feel bad because i HATE going to work to sit and do nothing. But honestly - it has more to do with the fact that of all of my schools - only 1 has given me a nice place to sit.

Not a table that they store junk on and pretend to be surprised by me everytime im there like “oops sorry theres all this stuff (but like youre not a real person and we hate that youre here so just be happy we tolerate your existance and tell is your happy to have giant things all over your desk literally sticking in your face)”

Not the extra desk behind the printer that blows dust in my face as it goes off every 20 seconds

Not the desk under the aircon blowing on me/ in the corner next to the coldest window/door

Not a literal broken chair

Not a desk in the path of the class files where teachers have to constantly get to the spot directly behind me

And i was also that person thatd say ‘well if you dont like it - quit - theres plenty of people who WANT that job’

But like it fucking sucks. Cause i have experienced REALLY good teachers who actually team teach with you. I have had one school where i worked full time and got to see my students more than once a month - hence being able to actually get to know them and want them get better. I have been at a school with wonderful staff who welcome me into the school like im an actual person - not like ‘oh is today already the day we let the rat in the school to make the children smile again. Ugh.’

It fucking sucks. I linger on the hope of being able to work at a good school with good teachers full time

I cant find a better job because im a ‘beginner’ and corona

And im stuck getting treated like shit

I AM NOT a kiss ass. Never have been. It kills me to have to work with people who dont want me around

Most of the teachers i work with ARE NEVER PREPARED like wtf why??? Why dont you EVER plan ahead??? When im not prepared its because i have to wait to get instruction from you - you get to chose what you do

And they do basically nothing (not all like ive said ive worked with good teachers)

But most just

Read the book OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The students memorize the book passages - they have no clue about the context and if you ask them the same exact question but with a different subject like “do you have any shoes” instead of “do you have any bags” theyre lost. The teacher can get them to answer by saying the exact phrase from the book - but they dont know what theyre saying or how theyre actually answering. They just have it memorized

Then some teachers will have “conversation practice” where they take those exact sentences out if the book - put them together to form an awkward ‘conversation’ and then the students just read it.

Ooohhh look at them. Having a conversation!

Play fucking bingo.... why? They dont even make the students repeat the words for pronunciation practice - why the fuck do you play bingo everyday

Sing songs. UGHHHHH yea that could be fun if these 60 year old teachers would stop forcing shit from the 1940s on the teenage students. I cant decide if music too old for 30 year olds is worse or teachers who take japanese songs that have been translated into english is - lol you fucking hate english so much you cant find ONE english song to sing??? WHY are you teaching english?! - god forbid you let the students choose

Teachers who just give the students the day date and weather....??????????? Cool. Youve managed to ensure they cant come up with the simplest of fucking English questions on their own. Do you carry around those cards to look like you do a lot at your job when you dont? Oh yea probably

Because being in a school watching teachers is the way i learned that japan values looking busy over being productive. If you look stressed and busy all day - you are better than a person who got shit done but looked relaxed.

Why do you use the recordings when i am in the class?????????????????????????????????? THATS LITERALLY THE ONLY REASON YOU APPARENTLY HAVE ME THERE

K and like i said. I have worked with good teachers. In their classes the students are better at english (hur hur funny how that works) those teachers encourage the students to talk with me. Those teachers let the students try to come up with answers and questions on their own. Those students try and ask the teacher when they dont know how to say something to help with translation.

The shit teachers on the other hand - will jump in and stop a student who looks excited to try and trying to figure out how to say something. What does this teach them? Dont try. Just stay silent - the japanese teacher will just talk in japanese again soon - no need to try.

Jumping off that. Students who are good at english or go to juku - will dumb themselves down in classes with shitty teachers. Theyve learned its not good to know more or even nearly as much english as the teacher - pretend you dont understand. Pretends you don’t know how to say things - itll make my stupid teacher feel good. So. If i try to talk or do anything in those classes, even the students who understand will stop trying.

Speaking of just going back to japanese. WHY IS MOST OF ENGLISH CLASS IN JAPNESE???? Most of the teahers will jump at ANY chance to switch back over into japanese. English is just sprinkled into the class. Then they pretend to wonder why the students dont try and why theyre bad at english

And things ive been told in the last year

Dont ever be upset about anything ever

Lol yea just that for one

K but dont ever be upset about teachers doing ANYTHING because theyre just so GOSH DARN BUSYYYYYYYYY

Lol like intially i thought that was why ASSISTANT was in my title. I THOUGHT we were supposed to make them less busy by helping out with planning and grading and blah blah

Nope cause

‘Oh offer to help them! BUT dont be upset when they decline because theyd have to explain to you ANYTHING and.....’

So. Im a child?! I cant be trusted to do anything without proper instruction

Well yea exactly cause

“Oh! Hes probably your babysister haha! Japanese people are so nice! They usually have one teacher look out for you and help you with stuff - besides the head teacher- lol theyre kinda like your babysitter!<3”

K. So like. I need a bachelors degree for this job. Let me say again I NEEDED A COLLEGE DEGREE FOR THIS JOB. i had to move ACCROSS THE WORLD by myself. I have to ge able to fill out federal documents and find a house and pay my bills and follow foregn laws and figure out my way in a foregn country - but i need a BABYSITTER at work?!?!?!?? If im a minute late ill be docked an hours pay. If i do ANYTHING that slightly upsets ANYONE and japanese ppl are offended by EVERYTHING - i am liable for all reprucussions. But. I need a BABYSITTER.

Cant be trusted to be in a class alone (dont be offended its because your not a certified teacher) that would make sense except that YALL THROW ALTS IN WITH THE SPECIAL NEEDS STUDENTS ALL THE TIME - thats supposed to be an EXTRA certification on top of teaching. but Im too fucking stupid and untrustable to do anything with regular students alone, but because you dont like dealing with spefial needs - i can teach them alone.

You dont actually read their hw or check for correctness and most of their tests are just for fun it seems - but i cant be trusted to grade those either

You do the exact same lesson everyday and i only see each class once a month - but dont let me create any activity or lesson for them. Also dont tell me your plans until class is starting and then change it throughout the class and act surprised when idk what the fuck youre doing because you changed your mind while talking at them in japanese

Speaking of changing. I hate teachers who constantly change how they do shit. And again. Get annoyed at me when i cant follow their flow. Do i say hello first or do you? Are we even saying hello today? Am i asking how they are or are you? Are we letting them answer? Are we answering? Whose asking the day date and weather? Are we asking them for the day date and weather?? Whose saying goodbye? Are we saying goodbye? Which bingo version have you chosen today? Are they repeating the words? Yes? No? Am i saying each one twice? Do i have to spell out the fucking word today? Fast? Slow? What hell are you putting me through today

And when they ask me to take charge of an activity. But then change their mind. But then no no you go ahead please take charge. K no just kidding ill tell you and them what to do. Actually no you can keep going please be in control. K no too much english i wanna hear more japanese ill be in control - hey everyone thank the alt for doing that activity with you (me and the students look at each other visibly confused)

These teachers will ask me a question and no matter how i answer its wrong. I always answer shortly initially because... of course. But theyll tell me to GO ON!!! theyll keep doing that. So ill start answering questions with substance - then theyll cut me off - so i go back to answering shortly but NO! CONTINUE!!! im constantly caught confused exactly what they want me to say and now i barely ever tell stories to the students. I stare at the jte the whole time trying to guage by their face if i should keep talking or make it short. Its also awkward cause sometimes they jump in to translate and other times they want me to just keep talking in english with no translation. Regardless whatever way i choose is never correct and they always look at me like im an idiot

Yesterday a teacher did one of the things inhate that prompted this I WANNA WRITE ABOUT HOW MUCH I HATE THIS JOB

Hes a sub. Hes supposed to do the same lessson as the other teachers. He is NEVER prepared. And he does everything bad. So when he didnt have the stuff for the activity he said he wants the students to have conversations with me. GREAT! thats what im here for! Lets do it. So then he shows them videos he has of other students talking with an alt at another school for 5 minutes. Um.... k. Then we open the book to a page of 3 example convo starters. Except. Japanese teachers dont seem to understand that the book is meant to be EXAMPLES. he says ah like this but maybe change. Good ok! I think were on the right track. Lets read these examples and get to it. Nope. He has them have the example sentences with their partner saying its good practice.

No. Its not. Theyre just reading the book and then when they finish saying

“Do you know any good restaurants around here?”

“Yes i do! Theres a curry place over there”

“oh i love curry!”

Theyre not gonna make up more at the ......

Theyre just gonna talk in japanese about other shit.

Then he says ok lets have conversations. Finally

Nope.

He has the class repeat after him together as a unit to me “do you know any good restaurants around here?”

GFFEIWBAKDHWNDGDIEBS RAGEEEE

I said ive had convos in class before may i try like before

He feigns confusion

I ask a student “what kind of food do you like?”

She says sushi

“What kind of sushi”

The students in this class were excitable and chimed in each time.

This time (as usual because they dont know the fish names in english) She begins talking with the kids around her trying to figure out what the english word is for the sushi she likes

But the teacher jumps in and shuts it all down

Because the students are just way too shy to talk in front of the class. Their english is too bad. They cant.

Its extra aggrivating because the teachers at this school range from good to decent - except him. That was a second year class. The last time i was at this school the first years had a introduction 1 on 1 test - with me. And i was to ask them a question at the end. With the other 3 teachers when i asked the question if they didnt understand. I would try saying it in another way. If they still didnt understand - i would answer my question as an example. If they still didnt understand i would give them answers like

“What tv do you like” “do you like anime?” Wait for yes or no “do you like youtube” wait for yes or no (and so on)

If they still didnt understand (very few got here) the japnese teacher would translate the question)

And. If they still didnt understand. We would give them an answer and coax them into repeating after us.

If they didnt. Then they didnt get the point for answering the question.

This teacher. Him being the 4th teacher to do this test with me. Would IMMEDIATELY translate the question if the student didnt answer quickly after me asking it once and then talk to them in japanese and tell me their answer or make one up to me with something like “oh ahah they dont know when yet. So he doesnt know. Maybe he ate breakfast before school!” And then would shoo the student away and call in the next.

^^^ and this is how most teachers are

They sit during class. They play unrelated videos. They spend half the class acting like theyre too confused about their plan to even teach the class (but if i try to do ANYTHING like talk to a student while they sit in front of the class rummaging through their folder going “うーん」「じゃ」「じゃあー」「そして」「それから」「えーとー」 theyll instruct SOMETHING or play some recording over and over) have i mentioned how they never seem to want to talk in english or listen to students talk in english in english class?? Most of the time theyre just having aside conversations about nonsense in japanese. They read everything themselves despite me being there - in a way where they really just wannt hear themselves talk in english.

Just in general. I hate when teachers talk about me in front of me and dont tell me what the fuck theyre saying. And it’s annoying when students ask them stuff in japanese about me and then the students look at me waiting for me to respond/the teacher to translate their question- but the jte doesnt translate. Or they ask a question that im not in charge of the answer for so even though i understood the question they asked the jte i cant answer them because its not my decision and the jte doesnt wanna look like the asshole that gives them an answer they dont like so they just dont respond so that i look like the dick whose ignoring the students

They do this with regular questions too. Sometimes i hear the whole question and understand. So when the students look to me and the jte goes silent - i answer - then the jte gets all out of sorts because 1) they wanted me to look like an asshole who doesnt wanna talk to the students 2) they deemed the questions not important and didnt want it answered 3)ew! The alt knows more japanese than i thought and she knows what im doing and thats a little embarrassing also what else have i said in front of her today that she might have understand - awkward 4) oh no if students know she understands some japanese they might ask her stuff and i wont be the only means of the alt and students communicating 5) that awk silence just showed the students that i didnt plan to translate something to her and i wanted to blame her and say she doesnt wanna answer that but now i was made a liar of

These arent personal queations btw. For example a student asked why does the guy in one peice eat a lollypop in the america version instead of smoke a cigarette?

This is an incomplete liste. Just. Honestly being an ALT is draining.

I feel like im at a restaurant again just waisting my life away waiting tables.

I actually really like english so being forced to listen to people who are supposed to teach it - purposely teach it wrong and force me to use it incorrectly hurts

I hate watching people suck at their jobs....and be rewarded for sucking at their job

I hate feeling like an outsider in my workplace.

I wanna feel like a real teacher.... not a clown

I hate doing something where nothing i say, do, or feel matters.

That last one. I hate that i can be treated like shit in my workplace AND get in trouble for not thanking people FOR treating me like shit. Not just take it. Take it with a smile!!!

I try to focus on the good things... but its just so damn hard cause ther far and few between and honestly i just wanna feel like im actually an educator to my students and like i can actually be a teacher with the ones who like me and come talk to me and stuff. But its not like i have have a teacher student relationship with them - i cant be part of their school activities. I cant go to their school events. I wont be at the school with them for more than a year.

Even at good schools when the teachers like that you talk with the students - i always feel this vibe of ‘keep it superficial’ dont become an adult they would trust. Its like you can feel them watching - ready to jump in when they think the student should stop petting the stray before they get fleas

I have a lot of teachers i remember fondly. Who id talk to when i saw them even when i didnt have their class anymore. Id tell kids in grades below me that they were lucky if they got them. When i hear about things happening at the school after i leave im happy to hear they got something good. Teachers who helped me understand something better or were just nice to the obvious loser in the class or made me laugh

I wanna be one of them....

Not the police man that came into school a couple times. Or the guy with the birds. Or the nice lunch lady who let you take food when you didnt have money and pay it back the next day.

I wanna be a teacher with a name.

Or at least. Do one of the only things im actually good at

So this job is unfulfilling

#alt

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hideouspumpkin · 4 years ago

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hello léna!!! food anon here :-) its very cute that i got my own tag im touched! i hope you made yourself some nice comfort food yesterday and today!! ❣️ also im so sorry to hear that you lost your grandma just a few days ago, i really hope you're doing okay and that you're taking time to heal! learning more about different love languages helped me so much in deepening my relationships with the people around me because i always assume everyone shows love in the way i do (1/4)

food is a very beautiful love language and even if it isnt your own love language you can learn so much from the people who show their love to you through cooking and sharing. its so much more than just putting the ingredients together and serving someone, its a way of saying "i love you and i made this and i want to share it and i hope you love it because i put my love and effort into it" and thats very beautiful (2/4)

to so many people food is just an afterthought, you have a quick breakfast before you rush off to do work and you don't take proper time to prepare lunch and sit down and dinner is just a hassle, but food really asks you to use so many of your senses and enjoying a meal can be very therapeutic and meditative. it's about creating something that smells nice, looks nice and tastes nice while also offering a way to connect and that's just 🥺🥺🥺 (3/4)

so yes lets look at food as a way of showing your love, and making connections and self care to take a moment out of your day solely focusing on yourself and the moment and the food and the senses it stimulates, instead of just a way to fill us up with least calories as possible so you can fit into the small standard of society. having a good relationship with food has a way bigger nutritional value because it also feeds the soul ❣️ (4/4)

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omg hi again !!! i gave you a tag because your messages really impacted me and i want to be able to find them again ! I had a nice ratatouille with a lot of spices yesterday and today i went on a picnic with some friends so we had veggies and hummus and bread near a lake and it was great !! What about you ? Did you have a nice meal, a nic trip at the market, the store, did you bake or cook something you’re proud of ?

Thank u for your words abt my grandmom, it’s very weird because we really didn’t expect it so im struggling to fully comprehend what happened but i’ve talked abt it a lot in therapy and i have been writing about it so im slowly healing ❣️

I was actually considering reading about love languages because the concept of it fascinates me, how each person expresses their affection and care in their own ways, and how we adapt our languages so your own can articulate itself with other people’s !! I actually think food is one of mine, and that’s why i have issues with it, because making food and giving food both mean so much to me and i have like intimacy issues so y’know it’s linked ahdhfgs

i also completely agree abt the whole food being an afterthought. I think it’s because a lot of people see food as a necessity, something we have to consume to live but don’t actually think about it fully, and food isn’t just abt the energy it gives you, or how it will stop your hunger (even tho it is also that, because it’s a privilege to be able to see food not just as something that will make your survive) it’s the moment that surrounds it, the time you take to prepare, sit down and then eat the meal that makes it important ! Also, i read eat up! by Ruby Tandoh and she said that most times, when we remember a moment that mattered to us, we remember it throught taste, and it says a lot about the importance of food in our lives, how they shape our happiness and who we are, she wrote “our memories are patchworks of taste” and like shes right

But also, food is important and having a good relationship with it is important as well, i think food isn’t everything and shouldn’t be everything, it shouldn’t be put on a pedestal, because it isn’t an healthy mindset either, like romanticizing food sure helps associating something positive with food, but it also can become obssessive and, especially for peeps having disordered eating, it creates a sort of distance with food, which then becomes something almost ideal and perfect, only there for pleasure. We have to consider food as pleasure but also as something we do need to survive, we need some nutriments, and some vitamins so we cannot just eat whatever we want, its a need and a want which is actually pretty amazing but makes it hard to build a balanced way of consuming it (i have no idea if what i meant even made sense here ahzfdgqf sorry)

Also, love your last sentence it made me go full of love and hope and want to heal ❣️

Thank u again for your kind words anon hope u had a good day as well ❣️

#long post #sorry its a v long answer ahefdqhgf i had a lot to say but no braincells to express them #anyways im glad u sent me messages it makes me happy and don't ever hesitate to send anything !!!#also those are my own thoughts and opinions considering i've had issues with food for years so idk to what extend that has impacted #the way i see or think abt food #and also im not an expert on anything it's personal views and thoughts and im open to discussion if anyone wanna join !!#tw food #tw ed mention #nothing specific as always #food anon #oh also sorry for the typos as i said i have no braincells tonight

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demonecent · 6 years ago

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Having a really, really hard time

------RANT, TRIGGER, AND LANGUAGE WARNING-------

Today, or well this past month has been the hardest time i've been through in a long time and i feel stuck. My boss wont let me come into work, but she wont fire me or lay me off? Im technically still employed and i worked my ass off for this company and then one day its "oh the machines are broken" and then "oh there isnt enough people to operate" and then the "oh we arent working on a wednesday" like seriously what in the fuck is going on here? She complains about how they cant keep employees, cant get people to show up on time, cant find new employees, and cant meet production quotas. And yet i found her two registered millwrights willing to work for her and another person with 8 years in the industry AND SHE TURNED THEM DOWN SAYING WE WANT TO FIND OUR OWN EMPLOYEES WITH EXPERIENCE IN THE INDUSTRY. Oh heres a good story, I watched the current millwright get super pissed off and start smashing shit after trying to fix a machine that was ever so slightly out of line for like four god damn hours before i had enough and fixed for him in ten god damn minutes, or the other guy that couldnt figure out that he had high centered the forklift on a peice of concrete and spent an entire day trying to get it un stuck and then one of the other employees comes up, raises the god damn forks and drives it away... like guys, i am seriously tearing my hair out right now.

My doctor wont even make an attempt at making a proper diagnosis, like it was a 10 minute session and hes like "oh sounds like you have fibro go stretch itll make you feel better" and in my mind im thinking "well you dont think you enough about this shit that that would be the first thing i tried? And everything after it? No? No? Really? Cause totally not like i do that every day Kms" i have been doing these excersizes since the last time i saw you 6 damn months ago. And its like dude i wouldnt have traveled for and hour and a half in acute pain to be told some load of shit, go do some excersize, see ya in three months. A week later i pass out and hit my head AT WORK OPERATING A REMAN because of how bad the pain was and the fact that i could not get ANY AIR, like i couldnt fucking breathe at all i legit passed the fuck out, out cold. THIS HAPPENED TWICE, and then like a week ago it happened again but this time it was so much worse, i was out away from home with some friends and within the time span of a minute i couldnt see, breathe, walk, or move my legs and my entire body is screaming in pain but you know "excersize will make everything better" like bullshit this for 1 is not fibro you are a complete moron, for 2 generally when your patients current treatments are not working you dont just ignore it like its not a thing

GOD DAMN IM LOOSING MY MIND.

And like i had like some money saved to go to school but i had to use it for rent and now like, my computer just broke today for literally no reason it just stopped running, so thats all my schoolwork, chemical formulas, research, blueprints, lyrics, recorded music, million lines of code, an almost operational video game i made for my sisters, like so much, all of it gone in the snap of a finger for no explainable reason. My tablets BARELY useable, my "friends" ripped me off over a hundered dollars and left me broke, fighting with my parents everyday, over $1000 in debt. Like oh my fucking god what am I going to do, I've sent out hundereds of resumes and like i at least have work for tuesday but then i have two weeks that i have to keep myself going while being harassed for money by people who pretended to care about me and fuck i dont even have "friends" to talk to right now because everyone expects something from me that i cannot do and make me feel terrible about myself like fuck those arent friends. And then the few special people that are actual friends, more like family tbh, i havent heard from in like months, when all i want in the world is to see them... and i honestly feel like the entire world has forgotten about me.

I really just don't know what to do, i'm stuck back in depression, suicidal and like i dont even know what happened but im drinking again god DAMMNNIT. I tried so god damn hard and i feel like it was just slapped in my face, and its not like anyone will take me seriously.

So yeah welcome to Lili's Hell, Hope you enjoy your stay!

#text post #rant #tw #rough times #depression #hello darkness my old friend....#god damn im really loosing it

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nerdandabook · 7 years ago

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Logan Review (spoilers)

I want to do something interesting with this blog, and while it will predominantly be book related I do want to spread out to other types of media as well. So with that in mind I am presenting my review of Logan, the last outing of Hugh Jackman as the (seemingly) immortal Wolverine.

The movie starts off in 2029 to there being no more mutants being born. Apparently that evolutionary branch has finally snapped and were left with the stragglers of a dying race. Enter Logan, also known as wolverine, our “hero” who is found in the company of an aging and mentally ill Professor X and a young, silent girl who seems to have the same abilities as Logan. They are being chased by a government agency that created the girl named Laura using Logan’s DNA and trained her to be just as vicious as he was in his prime. Together they search for someplace safe from their potential captors.

I was hit by a wave of sadness as all the characters started to make their appearances. You are hit very quickly with the knowledge that these are physically old characters, even Logan is pushing 400 years at this point in time and he definitely feels it. He has a limp, his claws dont extend as easily as they used to and he just is generally tired. He is shot a few times early on and while he can still shake off the hits, you see it taking the better part of an hour for him to fully heal from the trauma. Professor X isnt much better, at this point he is suffering from a degenerative brain disease which for a person like him means that without knowledge or even really trying he can kill everyone around him within a mile radius. As such they must keep him constantly drugged to dampen his abilities and keep him calm. Two of quite literally the most powerful beings on the planet are reduced to a state that most people wouldnt want to keep living in and it only gets worse from there. In fact we find out that Logan is carrying around an adamantium bullet so that if he wanted to, he could end his life. This can be considered a small spoiler but not really much of a surprise so Im comfortable saying it here, the reason Logan is so worn down and dying is because of the adamantium in his body. After so long it is poisoning his body and again causing it to deteriorate faster than he can heal himself. Another thing I was not ready for was the language in the film. When I popped the film in I forgot that it was an R rating. The first time he drops a serious F bomb I was very taken aback and for some reason i never really got used to it. Something about these characters that have been around since my childhood suddenly not holding back shocked me. That being said if Logan acting so catches you off guard, hearing Charles dropping F bombs will really send you reeling. Im not one to be sensitive to profanity but it felt a little like they were given free reign of it and because of that over used it a little bit. Just my opinions.

MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING!!! PRETTY MUCH THE WHOLE PLOT OF THE FILM!!

So Logan, Charles and Laura are on the run from an agency that uses Mutant DNA to create soldiers similar to what the weapon X program did to Logan.... because it is the weapon X program helmed by Stryker’s son and doing the exact same thing (sans the horrible deadpool attempt like in “The Wolverine”, at least he learned from his fathers mistakes.) Turns out he has made X-23 who again is technically Logan’s daughter and X-24 who is an exact clone of Logan except subservient to Stryker’s wishes. After a fight that leaves wolverine injured, a family and Charles DEAD and Laura desperate to reach her friends (the other kids in the weapon X program) wolverine caves and agrees to bring her to them and they can head to Canada where they hope they can be safe. A lot of stuff happens but in the end of course they beat the bad guy, Laura uses Logan’s adamantium bullet to kill X-24 but the fight has left wolverine mortally wounded and as he finally begins to understand what it’s like to have someone who cares for him and he care for them in return, he passes away leaving Laura alone to grieve over his body.

All in all this was all this was a great movie and I enjoyed it a lot. It was a great close to two very endearing characters while introducing a few new ones to carry on the legacy. As I said in the beginning, mutants are no longer being born so the result of the new weapon X program is a new generation of mutants to carry on into the future. I felt that Charles’s death was too sudden, it was something they could have given a little more time to seeing as how this is one of the most important characters in the entire series, but alas it served its purpose and gave him a proper send off. Logan’s death was not unexpected but nontheless upsetting as he finally finds a bit of happiness and a family that he never really allowed himself to have and just like that it’s taken away from him and even sadder, Laura. I’m excited to see where the franchise will go in the future, however it will never be the same without these two. I believe next up is the Dark Pheonix story which should be interesting.... I’ll see you all again forthwith!

I truly appreciate you if you’ve made it this far as this is the first movie review I’ve ever done. It will take me some time to get fully accustomed to it and I do want to do the best I can with these. So if you’ve made it this far I truly appreciate you and I hope you’ll check in again next time... Till then...

Nautilus,

Suravye ninto manshima taishite

#x-men #old man logan #logan #spoilers #hugh jackman #patrick stewart #movie review

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