#this isnt really what i felt but. it is past midnight. not that sleep seems important in the face of whatever is possessing me

[clefdesoll]

an itch hit me past midnight

[anxiousgaypanicking]

okay so i recently watched the metal family (the english dub) on youtube and i sent my friend a ton of information on it - my thoughts, my theories, etc, and then i thought of a sanders sides related universe for it 

technically some things differ, as in the part i wrote glam and chive (who ive assigned to logan and remus) eventually end up together, but whatever 

and, because im a whore for attention im going to post here exactly what i rambled about because i was spilling out thoughts that just made my heart beat faster. so basically, the metal family: sanders sides edition 

spoilers for the metal family. 

basically i was thinking of logan and remus basically as these two characters, with logan as glam/sebastian and remus as chive, and logans parents putting a lot of pressure on him as their only child, and his dad is suffering abuse to so he cant even stick up for logan, and when he does bad he has to put out his arm and roll his sleeve up and his moms hits it repeatedly, and in the show glam doesnt react until he showers bc thats when it stings (until a certain scene where glams dad slaps it so hard he fucking bleeds a lot and starts sobbing and its like part of when he snapped) but thats probably what he does, and obviously the butler also gets mad and snaps on him a lot too, but when he goes to that music exam and gets second place to remus (who he met briefly on the way to the music exam - youll understand this more if you end up watching the series), hes shocked, and as remus walks him home he explains what he did on the guitar, and gives him the bach vinyl and logan squints but takes it anyway, and when he announces he got second he gets scolded, they mock him for who he lost too, and the back vinyl is taken by his mother, hes scolded for thinking he could ever be on par (logan plays the violen btw - he entered the music exam with a violen and its what his mouther abuses him for when he plays wrong or doesnt answer right/right away to note related questions) with bach, and then hes hit with the ruler and sent back to his room, where he plays the bach vinyl thinking it will be bach but then its metal and it sort of awakens something in logan and he sort of snaps

when he runs into remus again remus offers to teach him, steals an amp and guitar from the observatory, and then when he goes home then this is where hes hit until his forearm is literally dripping with blood and hes sobbing, but sort of that unhinged sort of sobbing where hes like :) while sobbing and bleeding, and his mom is saying hes no longer allowed to take walks because he was late, went through the park, ran in a suit, etc, and how logan will be studying with her daily from now on, and through gritted teeth, a sob, and a smile, as he clutches his bloody wrist hes like "yes mother, ill study under you every day. every day. every day." and he and remus had luckily agreed already to meet by the dumpster at midnight, and thats what they start doing

remus teaches him how to play, and logan literally gets no fucking sleep and becomes more and more sleep deprived as hes taught more and more and it makes him more and more manic and unhinged, and he has periods where he fucking snaps and can play the bass super well because hes fueling his anger and his trauma into how aggressively he plays and is actually super good, and eventually he and remus get a gig with these two other bandmates 

and that happens to be the day that the way he hides his diary (where he gets out his murderous thoughts over his father, writes about lying to him, and writes down notes for music he wants to make) and his model of the city (which hed spent a lot of time on and cared about a lot and made out of every day things like lightbulbs and pencil shavers and had to keep hidden) were revealed and his mother found them, and she threw it into the trash where logan saw it crumbled as he walked home in the rain, and while his mother is aggressively shouting at him she says something along the lines of "who are you going to choose. your family, or some vagrants!?" and logan sort of snaps, goes wide eyed, and walks the other way, despite the fact its rianing and his mother demands him to come back, and then starst screaming about how if he ever comes back to the door hell never be allowed back inside, and thats where that episode ends

and basically i was thinking that logan leaves, and sort of walks around in his suit with his violen for a while, before he goes back to the alley where he hides his guitar that remus stole for him and his punk clothes, and he grabs them both and sort of mindlessly wanders until he ends up back in front of remuss trailer

when logan shows up remus doesnt realize until he opens the door of his trailer and prepares to leave and logans just standing there staring, utterly soaked, and he craves his neck up when remus walks out and remus is like "holy shit dude, you scared me. its not even midnight here. how long have you been here?" and logan doesnt answer, and hess not used to tocuhing people or being touched gently, but he sort of falls into remus, and collapses against him, and he starts sobbing because he just lost his family, and he left his dad all alone, but ehs finally free from the abuse, and hes so tired and so confused and hes never felt so unsure of his next move but remus just pulls him inside, brings his stuff inside, they step over his sleeping and drunk parent, and remus takes logan to his room (possibly the one he shares with roman ?) and basically just hugs logan as he sobs and cries and eventually passes out against him because hes literally so fucking sleep deprived, and remus takes liberty to change logan out of his sopping wet clothes, but then both of logans arms are covered in scars, some of them still scabbed, and remus is immediately concerned but he decides hell ask about it when logan wakes up, and basically ust goes out and shoplifts some food or steals from his parent to buy shit, and when logan wakes up hes given low quality food that he accepts gratefully, apologizes for showing up unceremoniously and being so informal, but remus just hesitantly wraps an arm around him, and logan accepts it, and remus says its fine while cuddling with him and then again hesitantly asks what happened

and logan sort of goes silent and doesnt talk about it, but clears his throat and asks if its okay he stays here, and theres already three people living in this trailer so he feels bad for asking, but remus just pulls him closer and is like "yeah man! of course you can stay!" because obviously hes not going to tell logan no after what he just pulled, so he lets logan stay, and remus and roman bicker for it a bit when logan uses their small ass bathroom to shower, and by the end remus has basically bribed roman into going along with it

and logan has to adjust to not being a wealthy - althought not spoiled - person anymore, and sometimes he reacts to things on instinct. he breaks something and remus comes up behind him and asks what happened and logan just sort of stares straight ahead, rolls up his sleeve, and sticks out his arm, and remus is like  logan?? and it takes logan a few seconds to snap out of it and he sort of gazes at remus, goes wide eyed, and then apologizes as he brings his arm back in and rolls down his sleeve, and he seems really awkward but also quite relieved, and remus has never hurt him before, but it was just sort of that reactive thing, and that happens to be the day where remus decides to ask what those scars are, and asks to finally treat them properly because he hears logans whimpers and hisses in the shower

he and roman have their fair share of scars from their own shitty drunk parent, so they know pretty damn well how to take care of them, and how to steal bandages and shit, so remus helps clean them out and up while logan sort of quietly tells remus all about his life, why the music exam was such a big deal, and how remus basically changed his life, and how hes still confused and doesnt know if he made the right decision, and remus doesnt respond until the end where he bandages up logans arms and then gently grabs his hand and tells logan that hes safe now, and that being surronded by people who only put you down and more so hurt you isnt good, and that he believes logan made the right decision because hes safe here with them (the twins make sure to keep him guarded from the drunk parent) and roman seconds that from his spot on the bed, and so logan tries to put his past behind him and instead focus on playing music with remus, and playing shows at bars and stuff where they slowly gain a larger and larger fan base, and they make more and more money from the awesome music they play, and eventually use that money to buy their own house

i know its a lot, but just imagine. imagine

[adrianasunderworld]

🧡Dragon!RaihanxReader🧡

Drakes Keep

The townspeople live in fear of the dragon in the forest and have decided to make you the sacrifice to save them all. But perhaps the dragon isnt something to fear after all.

      This was how it ends. You thought to yourself as night descended. The only sound was the occasional breeze rustling the branches or the distant howl of a dog. You tried once again in vain to wriggle from the rope that kept you tied to the tree. Letting the back of your head hit the trunk with a thump, you bit your lip and finally allowed yourself to cry. This really was the end. 

       A dragons supper, that was your fate. The creature that called the abandoned castle home had returned, and the fear of what it could do had sent the townspeople into hysterics. Turning to the old ways once more to keep it appeased. Unfortunately for you, that had meant you were the one tossed to the beast. The old stories spoke of fair maidens and kings sons bravely sacrificing themselves for the better of others. But of course no one wanted to send their beloved children to death. But you? Orphaned and thieving,___? No one opposed that. And now you stood, hands bound to a tree as close to the Drakes Keep as they dared to bring you, waiting for death. 

     Night had finally fallen. The sound of crickets and the skittish steps of a rabbit your only company. Then as suddenly as it started, the forest was quiet and still as a grave. Even the breeze that blew the branches seemed to stop. Then the snap was heard. Then another. The crunch of leaves as if something heavy was being dragged across the ground. Then you saw it, a pair of teal blue eyes peeking out from between the trees. Tears continued to stream down your face as you locked gazes with the creature that would end. 

     "Just make it quick," you managed to choke out, throat raw from your sobbing. Not even sure if the beast could even understand you. "Please, be fast, that's all I ask."

     The dragon finally moved. It slowly stepped out of the darkness and you could see it in it's full view. It's dark midnight scales almost blended into the night, in stark contrast to the golden scales that went up its stomach and throat. It tilted its triangular head curiously as it examined its food. Your eyes snapped shut as it got closer and closer, until you felt the hot breath of your face. The wet sound of its jaws opening was heard, and you could not help but scream.

      Then the ropes went slack.

      "Relax." said a deep voice. "I wont do anything." 

     Opening your eyes, the dragon looked down at you, spitting out a piece of rope. "I...I… I dont understand." You shuddered out, wiping you tear stained face. "You arent going to eat me?"

     The dragon rolled its eyes. "Honestly, what's with these villagers and thinking I want to eat people? Of course not." 

     You removed the last bits of rope around your wrist, glancing at the dragon all the while. It wasn't going to kill you. What did it want? "So…" you began cautiously. "What now? 

       "What do you mean what now?"

       "If I'm not a meal, then what was the point of sacrifices? What is it that you want from the village."

       "Nothing." The dragon replied as if it should have been plain as day. "I never wanted any sacrifices ever. I untie them and let them go. I don't want anything from your village." 

       "But… but…" you stammered. "The missing livestock. And all those old stories about a dragon that burned the town centuries ago!"

      "My grandpa," the dragon replied. "Dont remember much about him, other than he was an old grouch. But that was a couple decades before I was even bored. as for livestock, sorry to say I was hungry. Large game have been scarce. Not my first choice, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Now," the dragon leaned down and sniffed at you, its warm breath blowing at your hair. "Who are you?"

       "-_" you stammered. 

      "And why, ___… did they decide to pick you to feed it the beast?"

      You looked down, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "No one wanted me." You answered honestly. "They were glad to have me gone."

        The dragon sniffed once more, like a hunting hound committing a scent to memory. There was the sound of thunder out in the distance. "Well, you're free of them now." Was his only reply. "Theres another town just south of here." He pointed a claw to his left. "I can only guess you wouldn't want to go back from where you came."

     You looked back between the direction the men who had tied up went,then the dragon, then to the direction he pointed. "So...so you'll let me go? Just like that?" 

     "Just like that." He assured.

It seemed too easy. The dragon letting you go and free to start a new life far far away.  The sound of thunder drew a little closer, and with it the wind returned to rustle the trees. You shivered. They had taken your cloak when you were arrested, and obviously did not bother to give it back when you had been left to die.

     The dragon seemed to take note of this, and tilted his head curiously. "What's the matter?"

      "Cold." You admitted. "Since I can leave, do you happen to know where I could sleep for the night?"

      The dragon eyed you once more and sniffed again as if looking for something of offense. When it seemed he did not find it, the dragon turned and nodded his head towards the direction he had come. "Follow me."

      "You know my name," you said as you followed the creature further into the forest. "What's yours?"

     "Raihan." He replied. "The Great Raihan."

    "Who calls you that?" You asked,trying hard not to snort.

    "Plenty of people." He said, twigs and leaves crunching under heavy feet. "I'll have you know, I have met many a knight and king that called me a great dragon."

     "What kings? Anyone I might have heard of?"

    "All sorts," he assured. "King Lance of Kanto. Queen Cynthia of Sinnoh. And most recently, your king Leon here in Galar."

     "So tell me then, great dragon Raihan, why are you out here in the back water forests outside of my nowhere village?"

    "Just as birds migrate, so do dragons." He explained. "We go from place to place, seeking spots of comfort to rest. Making a new home for ourselves or going to old ones."

    "I take it this is an old home then?"

   "Very old." He finally stopped and gestured to an ancient stone structure. With its half crumbled towers and vine covered parapets. "Very old indeed."

   "I've only ever heard of this place." You said in awe as you walked up the stone steps of the ancient castle. "My grandmother used to tell me about the dragons lair. She and all the other elders called it The Drakes Keep."

     "That's what you humans call it, yes." Raihan replied, pushing his large scaly body against the giant oak doors to open them. "But the true name of this place is Hammerlocke. Hammerlocke Castle."

     Walking into the grand entrance, Hammerlocke caslte was oddly well kept for not having a human inhabitant for centuries. Aside from the few cracks in the stone from age, the floor was clean of dirt and debris. There was even decorative tapestries that still adorned the walls. 

     Raihan pushed against the doors once more to shut them firmly, keeping the cold out. Then you realized something.

     "Um… not to sound rude or anything. But this doesn't look like a living space, and the doorways look far too small for you." 

     "Good observation. Sadly, castle life isn't very accommodating to this form."

     "Form?"

     Instead of elaborating, Raihan showed you what he had meant. In a flash of light you saw the large creature shrink down and take the form of a very tall and very handsome young man. He stretched out and let out a sigh. "Yes form." He grinned at your shocked expression. "There are many things about dragons you don't know."  

      It turned out dragons were very hospitable. Raihan had kept the fire in the sitting room going with ease, making warmer than you had ever known. He had a sorts of finery stashed away, including good coats and blankets of the softest materials. He had explained it was in a dragons to hoard things of great interest or value. Despite that he may not have a need fancy furs to keep him warm or nice bottles of wine, they were still soft to lay on and tasty to drink, and so he kept them. 

      "I'm still surprised dragons can take human form." You commented, swaddled up nicely in the furs Raihan had loaned you, stomach full of the food he had gathered the other day.

      "Oh yes, we are creatures of magic. Dragons,unicorns, the various breeds of fae." He took a sip from the golden goblet he poured the wine into. Unlike you he seemed to not be feeling the effects of it. "We were created by magic, neither human nor animal. So we are free to choose whichever form we please."

       "Do you appear human often?" 

       He shrugged. "I'd say it's fairly even. There is a time and a place for my true form, and I do enjoy visiting cities and what not, and that only really can be done like this." He gestured to his human form. 

       "I was always told dragons would sit in caves on piles of gold. Seeking princesses and young knights to drag away. Never that they like to be tourists."

       "Everyone is different." He said. "Truth be told, all those stories are rather old fashioned. Me? I like humans. Well...some of you." He flashed you a grin, seeming to imply you were one of the likeable ones. "I suppose I've always been a rather curious one. When I was a hatchling, I would sneak off to town and play with local children."

        "Now that does not surprise me," you said playfully while returning his grin. "You strike me as the sort who was a little scamp when they were young."

      "Oh trust me, you are not far off." He chuckled. "My parents could do nothing to keep me away. Everywhere we went, I sought out people, and when I was grown I went all over. I learned to read in many of your human tongues. Learned histories of every land I could. Befriended as many as I could."

      "That sounds amazing," you said wistfully. The life he described sounded like it could have only existed in a novel. You had never been able to venture out past the borders of the village. "I envy you, Raihan. I've never known such freedom." 

      "Well now you can." He replied. "All those townspeople think you won't return. You can start somewhere else."

      Looking down at your own golden cup, your reflection stared back in the red wine. Never go back...that certainly was not the problem. They would not miss you, and you would not miss them. But what kind of life could you have out there? "I doubt wherever I go will be much better."

      "And why is that?"

      "...Once a thieving urchin, always a thieving urchin." You said with all the resentment in you. That brand had followed you over half your life, and odds are it would follow you to the grave.

       "I take it that's why they tied you up to be sacrificed." Looking up, Raihans face portrayed no emotion. Part of you wondered if now he was disgusted knowing he let a thief in here, or maybe he pitied you. Honestly you weren't sure which would feel worse.

        You nodded. "When I was ten, my parents died. My grandmother long gone years before. My father's shop had caught fire, you see. And suddenly I was an orphan. No money, no home, no family. No one wanted to help. I had nothing, and so to the townspeople I was nothing.I did the only thing I could do: I stole to keep myself alive. I was arrested now and then, but I always got out. But the more I did it, the better I was at not getting caught. Well, until recently. And I think you know how that went." 

         "I wish I could say this is the first I've heard something like this, but it does seem like a sad reality to humans."  Raihans face then turned to concern as he reached out to put a hand in your shoulder. It wasn't until the tears were welling in your eyes a moment later did you realize it was because you were on the verge of crying. The events of today finally sinking in. Then he added. "But that doesn't mean you cant move on from it. Trust me, I've lived long enough to know what I'm talking about. Some of the best people I've known have lead similar beginnings to yours. I know it must feel awful now, but it'll get better. I promise."

      "You can't promise anything." You said, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. "What am I going to do in this new town? All I know is how to steal. I'll just end up back where I was."

      "I mean, you could add some flare." He said jokingly. "I'd say you'd make a handsome jewel thief that steals hearts along the way." 

      You couldn't help but snort. "That is absolutely ridiculous." 

      "It's merely a suggestion." He grinned. "All I'm saying is why not have some fun with your self fulfilling prophecy?" 

      You paused for a moment. "...What was it like? When you first left to travel?"

     "A bit frightful." He admitted. "But exciting. Often times lonely."

     "Lonely?"

     Raihan nodded. "Yes, dragons, though we live long, are few and far between. Besides my family, it would be a few years before I saw another of my kind. Those stories you talked about of maidens in towers, I can assure you the reason was never malicious. Those drakes did it more for companionship than anything else."

      "You make it sound like you speak from experience."

      "Well…"

      "Raihan, you didn't!"

      "Oh I assure you ___," he smirked like an absolute cad and winked. "All princesses under my protection were there willingly.  And treated very well, if I do say so myself." Your face flushed at what he was implying, and Raihan bursted out laughing.

      After a moment you began to laugh as well. It had been so long since you could sit like this and be friendly with anyone. Raihan was so good natured, it felt like it would be a challenge not to like him. "Are you going to stay in this castle long?" You asked. Wondering if it would be forward to ask if you could visit him from time to time after parting ways.

      "For a few weeks," he said, taking a long drink from his goblet. "Then off to Wyndon."

      "Wyndon? As in the capital city Wyndon?"

       "The one and only. Off to visit a friend for the spring."

      Part of you felt a bit disappointed for him to be leaving so soon. "I hope you enjoy it, " you said,meaning it. "I admit, I'll miss your company."

     "Then dont miss me."

     "What?"

     "Come with me, I could use a travel companion."

     "What would I possibly do in Wyndon?" Even as you said it, your mind raced with the possibilities. You had only heard in passing of the great city where King Leon held court. Of its beautiful building and the wealth of opportunities to be found there.

      "What couldn't you do?" He replied. "The better question is what do you have to lose? Be my travel buddy, ___. See lands beyond this forest. Hear languages you've never heard. Rub elbows with royalty. If you don't like it I can drop you off in that village south of here, how does that sound? Unless of course you're considering being a heartbreaking jewel thief. In which case I wholeheartedly endorse your decision."

        You thought it over and over. Be a dragons companion. Go to the capital and regions beyond. Or go to some other backwater town and possibly live in the mud once more. It wasn't a very hard decision. "I'll take you up on that offer."

       Raihan smiled, a small fang poking at his bottom lip. He tapped his golden cup against yours. "Cheers. We ride in two weeks time."

[magicflowershop]

one day kitty; Kita version

《inspired by movie A Whisker Away》

✿✿ you wished to be with the person you like and wish granted. whiskers, button nose, tail, four legs and ears on top of the head; you turned into a cat. with this, you are given the opportunity to be with the person you want to express your affections to. but as a cat. and only in one day.

― haikyuu characters x cat!reader imagines!

❀ masterlist ❀

the wheel of names have spoken.

kita was having a good time by himself in his grandmother’s rice fields, feeling the breeze like the precious farm boi he is,,, when he saw a cat sleeping on a wet patch in the middle of the field

gathering concern for the little cat, he brought him home and decided to clean it up 

then you woke up

you felt something scrubbing your back when you open your eyes you see a guy aiming a hose at you 

you scream bc obv, but that scream translated into a screech leaving your mouth and you see your hand

homie that was a paw

why do u have a paw?????

"stay still, you might hurt yourself”

and why is there a Kita Shinsuke spraying water at you lmao

you see that he’s kinda annoyed that you’re moving so much while he’s trying to clean you up but at the same time you arent sure since he isnt easy to read and that don’t know him too well rip so you let yourself be cleaned for free ig

but yo what the hell??? so you’re a cat now????

you try to remember what happened before all this and how in the world you suddenly turned into a cat and magically wake up in Kita’s place 

you dont know the exact location of his place so you have no idea how to get back home from here

Kita pulled the cat closer to him, and wiping the wet fur with a towel as generously as he could that the cat soon found comfort from his gentle caresses

okay maybe you could stay for a while yk huehue

“you’re having fun”

you hear a familiar voice from a mile away, you look back and see a fat, creepy cat standing on two of its hind feet

o wait

you saw that cat last night when you were watching the shooting star outside,,, you thought it’d be cute if you suddenly wished for something so you did then that thing appeared outta nowhere promising you that he can make your wish come true than compared to a stupid star

so he forced the wish outta you

that you wished to be closer to a guy you admired,, and you had a lot of crushes in your school ykyk,,, just that Kita takes the entire cake

“you have until midnight to remain as a cat. be sure to leisurely fulfill your desires, y/n.”

and so he vanished

while knowing full well you’re basically Cinderella now, you take consideration of your leisure time with Kita-sama

do you stay or do you go home first to check on your household

“oh what do we have here?”

Kita’s grandma entered the scene and you think that okay maybe this development is a little too quick since you weren’t ready to face his relatives yet

“i found this cat in the fields. it looked like it could get sick so i cleaned it”

o yea you were a damn cat

also Kita calls you freakin “it”

:) 

pennywise who

you chose to stay in Kita’s place bc grandma thought it’d be lovely to let you stay there for a while,, and that you looked like you were starving when you saw the food on the table

thank goodness you were a cat bc jesus were you actually drooling

so you spent time in Kita’s place big deal

but his place isn’t what you’re aimed for no?

“i’m leaving”

Kita says putting on his shoes, ready to leave and he’s wearing casual clothes,, you don’t think he’s going to school for volleyball practice

IS HE GOING ON A DATE????????????

lmao

as if thats actually true cmon Kita doesn’t even hang out with girls that much,,, even though he prolly has a bunch of admirers like the other Inarizaki Vball bois

but what if he swang that wae?

??????????

so you followed him right?

you wanted to find out where he’s headed also that he looked good in casual clothes you just want to keep looking at him like this 

Kita went to the grocery store

ah

and apparently he was buying ingredients to make food

ahh

so you begin to think that you were foolish for lowkey gate-keeping him

like sis cmon you’re a cat rn keep your head in the game,, what do you do with those paws of yours that cant even grab his hand and pull him away when he was about to bump into a girl as he was about to grab a bottle of tomato paste

heck you cant even get inside the damn grocery store and walk in between them cause you’re a fcking cat!!!!!!!!

you watch their mouths say sorries to each other

the girl was blushing

hm?

Kita looked worried that he couldve hurt her since the hag was coverin her face

hm

nani k

n̸̢̪̜͚͑́̾́̑̋ á̴̠̜̳͖̼̃͗̚͘͠ͅ n̵̼͙͇̻̹̓͜͜ i̷̥̲̻̪͈̞̙̩͛̾̅̓͝͝͠ ̶̨̡̜̞̟͆̿̈́͜ḵ̶̂̓̀̚ o̶͎͛̋̋̊͋̊̅̈̅ͅ r̶͙̮̱͊̎͠ ę̷̺̪͎͈̗̖̯̣͍͒͊̒͆͂̈́͛́̒̃

you started tapping the glass windows like mad SKSKD

and ofc since you’re a stray animal ppl wont let u get away with absolutely anything so one personnel saw you tapping the windows and shouted at you from inside the store

Kita and the hag saw you and yea that was enough embarrassment for the day, you ran away and let your feet take you wherever 

its a bit boring that since its a weekend there’s nothing to do,, you never expected that Kita’s weekends would be this boring too :(

so the creepy cat appeared

“what’s wrong you dont seem to be enjoying yourself anymore”

“turn me back to human i need to finish my homework”

maybe thats not the most liable excuse you have but it is true that you need to finish an assignment

“but i gave you a chance to be with the person you admire, no? is this not enough?”

“yea well its-”

“here you are”

you feel someone pick you up and you see that it was Kita:0he must’ve looked for you since you dont even know where you are

oh my god Kita Shinsuke looked for you ma’am eye- or mayhaps you took the route back to his house without knowing since you were busy staring at him when you were stalking him earlier ye

you watched how he looked at the creepy cat you were talking to and and judged it from head to hind feet lmao Kita

“do you have the same owner as this cat?”

he asked you and you gave out every ounce of your energy to shake your head as a no as well as to let out the most disgusted and disapproval meow you ever could-

“the hell would i want to be acquainted with that thing!”

a

what

no way did u just speak

so Kita stared at you for the remainder of the time but decided you speaking isnt physically possible and that he could’ve been real tired since he saw the Miya twins along the way

he took you back home since his grandma seemed to be real happy seeing a little animal in the house with them

but you didnt miss to see the little knowing smile from the creepy cat from earlier, you just knew from that alone that he was messing with you since as you said you were bored 

it was wrong of you to talk to that lil disgusting thing

since that moment you refused to speak with your mouth every again, if you were going to speak thought you would probably just purposely say meow only to not make anymore mistakes

also you’re spending a lot of time with Kita’s grandma than Kita himself

“i wonder what your future spouse is doing at this moment, Shin-kun”

Kita looked like he wanted to roll his eyes so bad lmao since he always hears things about his grandma wanting to see his wedding before she dies :c

and yk it makes you sad too just hearing about this

and you want to help 😔

and you would offer help 😌

they heard the cat speak and now you’re running away bc they heard you talk about wanting to marry Shinsuke 🤡

the day ended and you managed to go home before the sun set basically nothing happened and your transformation was all for nuttin, you were bamboozled by a demon cat you randomly saw one night

the next day you were back to your human self and it was a school day so ofc you have to live on normally in school as if nothing happened, as if you didnt just stalk a guy from your school but we’ll get to that

see, you’re friends are friends with a few of the guys from your school’s volleyball team,,, so you’re within vicinity of Kita’s attention 

when you explicitly did not want to see him atm

BUT THEN YOU REMEMBER YOUR FRIENDS KNOW YOU LIKE KITA

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU DO NOW

you decided to run away but you realize that’s useless bc you’re all going home together :D

now you weren’t the crowds type of person,, you had no idea how it come to this, you’re used to hanging out with your girlfriends yes but they were having fun altogether like this it was fun just watching them goof off and whatnot

“hey”

when i told you you’re almost dropped the second you hear Kita calling to you, you best believe

you said hey but in a different tone of voice bc it was too early for him to notice you had the same voice as the cat he saw yesterday,,, then you both walked in silence

you couldnt take it anymore and decided to go to the nearest convenience store since you had something you want to buy,, you went and whispered this to your friends but when they were asking you to let your voice out, you were deadass croaking

but then you clown yourself sum more bc Kita was concerned of you acting like this and asked if you were alright

now you’re stuck with him in the convenience store bc your friends and his friends thought it’d be a great idea for him to go with you :D

“you should eat something warm before going to sleep, and take a warm bath too”

:((((((

okay now you feel bad for actually making him worry lol

your alibi of getting sick works really well with not speaking at all around him so you used this till the end thinking you can escape him with this until it rained and you dont have an umbrella with you

aight y/n you’re one hell of a clutz

Kita was enough of a gentleman to buy an umbrella for you until its actually out of stock

you guys stayed in the convenience store for the time being

you were losing your mind

how much longer will you stay with him

you thought of an alibi to save you from the embarrassment so you told him you gotta jet and go back to school bc you forgot to bring your notebook with you 

but now you realize you realize you didnt have to tell him bc he’ll still follow you as if his life depends on taking care of you :(

after you randomly stormed out of the convenience store, he caught up to you and pulled you somewhere where there’s a roof over

“are you usually this reckless? or do you just like getting yourself sick?”

homie does not hold back

he pulled a spare shirt from his back and put it on your head,, proceeding to wipe your wet hair with it until he realized he’s subconsciously invading your personal space

he looked right at you, so you two were standing there,,, staring,, his hands on both sides of your head,,,,, both of y’all are wet hunni

he let go and turned the other way,,, the darkness wasnt dark enough to conceal his red cheeks and hunni you made him blush aight

“you reminded me of a cat i saw yesterday im sorry about that”

“you dont have to apologize”

o sis you did it now

you s p o k e

so Kita was beyond surprised to hear that voice again,,,, and this time from yOU,, ALL NORMAL,, NO FROGS

“i, i can explain”

he looked at you confused, hell was he so confused, that you sounded exactly like the voice he randomly heard yesterday which made him think that came from the cat,, he didnt think that was physically possible bc yk but the embarrassment from your face was enough for him to guess

“did you really say you’re willing to marry me”

gOD

“i mean,,, i don’t mind”

“grandma would be glad”

stay tuned for more!

[themoonandotherslikeit]

The Daughter of a Righteous Man- Chapter 30

*SEQUEL TO THE LOOK IN HER EYES*

After her husband is drug to Hell, Ava Winchester and her brother in law Sam try their best to do right by Dean and raise her daughter, only to find that good intentions aren’t always enough. Loving someone isnt always enough.

Chapter Thirty, The Time Has Come for Letting Go

Ella

About sixteen years later

"Hey, Dad," I said, poking my head into his bathroom. He was shaving, and cream covered half of his face. He quirked an eyebrow.

"Hey, kid."

"Sorry I'm such an ass."

"Me too, for the record." He winked at me, running the razor over his skin, leaving a line in the cream.

"I see where I get it." I grinned, walking past him. I sat on the edge of the bathtub, and watched him rid himself of stubble. He always looked younger when he was bare faced. "You mad at me?"

"Never." Dad smiled at me. "I made you, which means I'm never gonna be mad at you. Frustrated at times, but never mad."

"Hm." I looked down at my hands. "Even if I told you I was wasted when Claire found me?"

"Steal my good whiskey that I've been saving?"

"What? No."

"Then, nah I'm not mad. You're a good kid, El. The reason you're so upset is because of me, so I don't blame you for drowning it a bit."

I shook my head. I couldn't ask for a better dad. Claire was right. "They were setting up for the Halloween festival."

"Oh yeah? That time already?"

"Mhm. If you don't have any cases lined up I was thinking... maybe we could all go, like as a family. Dads, Jackie, Claire, the whole nine."

"What about the newest member?"

"What?"

"Clementine." He grinned at me, before splashing his face with water.

"Christ, Dad. No, the cat isn't coming."

"She's kind of cute, though. If you get past the initial shock factor. Actually kinda looks like you when you were a baby,” he teased.

"I'm so bad at rebellious activity. I'm failing miserably."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me, kid." Dad leaned forward and placed a kiss on my head. "I think the festival sounds like a great time. I'll talk to Sammy and Cas about it."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, and buried my face in his chest. "I really miss you when you leave, you know."

He wrapped his arms around me protectively, like he'd been doing all my life. "I know,” he murmured. "I miss you too."

"Did Mom go on cases with you?" I asked when we released each other from our hug.

"Yeah." He smiled. "She was damn good, too. Saved my tail multiple times. She had this way about her. She could put together a puzzle without lookin at the picture on the box. She was always finding the answer. She said she had instinct, which was true, but she also was fighting against her gender. The hunter world is like all the others, a mans world. And fuck did she make us all regret feeling that way." He laughed.

He seemed so effortless, lost in the memory. His green eyes seemed far away. He closed them for a moment. "Sammy and I walked into a trap, and she saved our ass. Us and uncle Bobby." He laughed lightly. "She put two and two together in a way I never could."

"Bet she didn't let you live that save down."

He laughed and grinned at me. "No way. She rubbed it in all the time. That was... that was the first night I spent with her." He met my eyes. "You probably don't want to hear about that. Your parents as people and all."

"No." I reached for his hand. "If you want to tell me, I want to hear it. I want to hear about how you fell in love."

Maybe it was the fact that we weren't fighting, or maybe that I knew he was going to die that made him crack open to me. He exposed his soft under belly, and I was going to poke it. I had to.

"I got hit real hard in the head. Kind of fucked up my inhibitions." He looked down, touching the back of his head, like he was in the memory. "She was watching me, to make sure I didn't die in my sleep. I told her I thought she was beautiful. Cute to be exact, and she didn't like that. Thought I was patronizing her. She chewed me out, and I had to explain... I meant she was cute. She was beautiful. Hell, kid, she was everything I didn't know I wanted."

"How'd she react to that news?" I asked, literally on the edge of my seat.

"She told me we couldn't have anything. ‘t was too dangerous. Not even for a night."

"But?"

"But I convinced her." He grinned. "I'm basically irresistible."

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help smiling along with him. "What then?"

"We stayed together all night. I think that was the night I realized that I was in deep. Before I knew I didn't want to live without her, and that was the night that I knew I couldn't ever lose her. So when she said it was a one night only occurrence I had to agree, even though it hurt like hell."

"It obviously didn't last."

He looked down bashfully and sighed a bit. "No. It didn't last. Nothing ever does." He looked back at me. "I'm tired. Raincheck, kiddo?"

"Of course," I said, quietly. A pang in my chest. I knew I hurt his feelings. I poked the wrong place and he curled back into himself, covering that vulnerable spot. I stood up and hugged him one more time. "Night, Daddy. Love you." I kissed his smooth, minty cheek.

"Love you too, Nel."

Dean

Present

"Where the fuck?" I was in my kitchen with my wife. She held baby Nel in her arms, and I was leaning in to kiss her. I leaned forward to press my lips to hers and I fell forward. She was gone, and when I opened my eyes I was in a weird, white, sterile room. There was a round table and two chairs. One door and no windows. I suddenly felt really fucking claustrophobic.

"Hello, Dean. It's almost time."

I turned, recognizing the gruff voice. "Cas? You literally ripping me out of the arms of my wife?"

Cas blinked numbly at me, and I turned again, feeling eyes on the back of my head.

Zachariah smiled at me. I'd met the angel a few times, and he always gave me the creeps. The gray whisps coming off his head seemed to float, like he was electrically charged at all times.

"Hello, Dean. You're looking fit."

"Well, how 'bout this? The Suite Life of Zach and Cas." I stared at the two angels. It was like talking to a fucking wall. I pinched the bridge of my nose with a sigh. "It's a... never mind. So, what is this? Where the hell am I?" I gestured to the room.

"Call it a Green Room. We're closing in on the grand finale, here. We want to keep you safe before showtime." He snapped his fingers, a few beers and a pile of bacon cheeseburgers appeared on a large platter. I raised an eyebrow. If things didn't smell so fucking fishy I'd be stoked. I realized, with a growl of my stomach, that I couldn't remember the last meal Ava and I had that didn't consist of just black coffee. "Try a burger. They're your favorite. From that seaside shack in Delaware. You were 11, I think."

"Not hungry."

"No? How about Ginger from season 2 of Gilligan's Island? You do have a thing for her, don't you?"

I gasped dramatically. "Zach, I'm married."

"We'll throw in Mary Ann for free."

I rolled my eyes. This dude was fucking weird. "No, no. Let's... bail on the holodeck, okay? I want to know what the game plan is."

"Let us worry about that. We want you... focused, relaxed."

I flexed my hands at my sides. Ava was going to be seriously worried. I felt my pants pocket. Empty, of course. My phone was on the kitchen counter. "Well, I'm about to be pissed and leaving, so start talking, Chuckles."

Zach clasped his hands with a sigh. "All the seals have fallen. Except one."

"That's an impressive score. That's... that's right up there with the Washington Generals."

"You think sarcasm's appropriate, do you? Considering... you started all of this? But the final seal... it'll be different."

I frowned, not liking being reminded of Hell. Keep me comfortable my ass. "Why?"

"Lilith has to break it. She's the only one who can. Tomorrow night at midnight."

I stood up a little straighter. It was time. "Where?"

"We're working on it."

"Well, work harder!" I shouted. This guy was testing my patience. I glanced at Cas who was silently pressed against the wall, avoiding me.

"We'll do our job," Zachariah promised. "You just make sure you do yours."

I crossed my arms. "Yeah, and what is that, exactly? If I'm supposed to be the one that stops her, how? With the knife?"

I lazy smile touched Zachariahs lips. "All in good time."

I narrowed my eyes. "Isn't now a good time? You know, before she breaks the seal?"

"Have faith."

"What, in you? Give me one good reason why I should." I took a step closer to him.

"Because you swore your obedience. So obey."

I looked to Cas again, this time I caught him looking at me, but he immediately averted his gaze. What the hell is going on here? There was something they weren't saying. Something Cas wanted to say, but couldn't. He was an open book, that kid.

"I do want something, after all."

Zachariah raised an eyebrow. "Of course. What can I get you?"

"I want to talk to Cas. Alone."

Zachariah glanced at Cas, and groaned. "Fine. Castiel you have your orders." He pointed before snapping his fingers, and disappearing into thin air.

"You wanted to speak to me?" Cas asked, not stepping any closer to me.

"Yeah, man. I do. Listen, I need you to take me to see Sam," I said desperately. Something felt wrong, and I was worried. Ava was right, of fucking course she was. If it walks like a duck, it's probably a fucking duck, and the confined spaces of my new digs were making me feel like this duck had teeth.

"I cannot allow that."

I walked to him. "What's wrong with you? Of course you can. I just need to talk to him, Cas. Bring him here. I don't care."

"You want to speak to him after how your last conversation went?"

"That's exactly why."

"He is dangerous, Dean. He has consumed a lot of demon blood," Cas said gently.

I winced. I was hoping otherwise, but I wasn't exactly surprised.

"We need to protect him. We need to stop him from jumping into the ring with Lilith. If I can take her down... we have to help Sam before he gets killed."

"I'm sorry, Dean. I can't do that."

"So what? Am I trapped here?"

"Of course not."

"Then I want to go for a walk," I said flatly, eyeing the door.

"I'm not sure that's wise."

"What the fuck is happening, Cas? Just be a man! Just tell me!"

Suddenly Zachariah poofed back into the room.

"Christ, man. You don't know how to knock," I complained. "Let me out of here," I said right to Zachariah.

He shook his head. "Can't. It's too dangerous out there. Demons on the prowl."

I laughed out loud and shook my head. "Yeah, I don't buy that for a second. I've been getting my ass kicked all year. Now you're sweating my safety? You're lying. I want to see my brother."

"That's... ill-advised."

"You know, I am so sick of your crap riddles and your smug, fat face. What the hell is going on, huh? Why can't I see Sam? And how am I gonna ice Lilith?"

Zachariah sighed and rubbed his temples. Didn't know angels got headaches, but it seemed like I annoyed Zach into getting one. "You're not going to ice Lilith."

"Excuse me?"

"Lilith's going to break the final seal. Fait accompli at this point. Train's left the station."

"But me and Sam, we can stop..." It was like someone turned the lights on. Like I'd been sitting in the darkness. "Holy fuck. You don't want to stop it, do you?"

"Nope. Never did. The end is nigh,” he said casually. "The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you."

I clenched my fists, my daughter's face flashing in my mind. I've been so stupid. "What was all that crap about saving seals?"

"Our grunts on the ground...we couldn't just tell them the whole truth. We'd have a full-scale rebellion on our hands. I mean, think about it. Would we really let 65 seals get broken unless senior management wanted it that way?"

"But why?" I glanced at Cas. He was avoiding my eyes again. Fucking coward.

"Why not? The apocalypse? Poor name, bad marketing ya know? Puts people off. When all it is is Ali/Foreman on a slightly larger scale, and we like our chances. When our side wins it's paradise on earth. Now, what's not to like about that?"

"Sounds too good to be true," I said smugly. "What happens to all the people during your little pissing contest?"

"Well... you can't make an omelet without cracking a few eggs. In this case... truckloads of eggs, but you get the picture. Look, it happens. This isn't the first planetary enema we've delivered."

Suddenly I was glad that my brother wasn't here. Maybe he was right. Maybe he was our only hope. "What about Sam? He won't go quietly. He'll stop Lilith."

"Sam... has a part to play. A very important part. He may need a little nudging in the right direction, but I'll make sure he plays it."

"What the fuck does that mean? What are you gonna do to him?"

"Forget about him, would you? You have larger concerns. Why do you think I'm confiding in you? You're still vital, Dean. We weren't lying about your destiny. Just omitted a few pertinent details. But nothing's changed. You are chosen. You will stop it. Just not Lilith, or the apocalypse. That's all."

"Which means?"

Zach smiled, causing my stomach to drop. "Lucifer. You're going to stop Lucifer."

I felt like the room was spinning. "Tell me something. Where's God in all this?"

Zach laughed humorlessly. "God? God has left the building."

I pulled back my fist, wanting nothing more than to knock this smug son of a bitch out, but he blinked away from me again, right as my fist was about to collide with his jaw.

I fell to my knees and shouted, slamming my fists into the stark white tile.

"Dean," Cas said weakly.

I looked up at him desperately. "What are you gonna do to Sam?"

"Nothing. He's gonna do it to himself."

"What's that supposed to mean? God, just say what you mean! For once in your fucking life be honorable. I know Ava talked to you about that. I know that's why you healed me. We have somethin, Cas. Don't act like you don't know it. You aren't like these cold bastards,” he said nothing. Blank, like a fucking statue. Maybe I was wrong all this time. "Yeah, well, fuck you too. Why are you even here?"

"We've been through much together, you and I. And I just wanted to say, I'm sorry it ended like this."

I pulled myself to my feet. "Sorry? That's fucking rich man!" I said, my fist colliding with his jaw. I needed to hit something. Anything. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hold my daughter. I wanted to say goodbye, because the longer I was here, the more I realized that I would lose that chance. "It's Armageddon, Cas. You need a bigger word than sorry."

Cas sighed, not even moved by my hit, even though my own knuckles throbbed. "Try to understand. This is long foretold. This is your..."

"Destiny? Don't give me that bullshit. Destiny, God's plan... It's all a bunch of lies, you poor, stupid son of a bitch! It's just a way for your bosses to keep me and keep you in line! You know what's real? People, families... My wife, my baby, my brother. Family. That's real. And you're really gonna watch them all burn?"

Cas finally broke. He raised his voice, poking me in the chest. "What is so worth saving? I see nothing but pain here. I see inside you, Dean. I see your guilt, your anger, confusion. In paradise, all is forgiven. You'll be at peace, even with Sam. Ava and Eleanor will be there, too."

"Don't you fucking say their names." I clenched my fist and shook my head, avoiding his striking blue eyes. "You can take your peace and shove it up your lily-white ass. 'Cause I'll take the pain and the guilt. I'll even take Sam as is. It's a lot better than being some Stepford bitch in paradise. Ava's always told me that anything worth having hurts. The idea of losing it can tear you apart, but that's what makes it worth having." I turned back to him. "This is simple, Cas! No more crap about being a good soldier. There is a right and there is a wrong here, and you know it." He turned away from me, and I grabbed his shoulder. "Look at me, damn it! Help me, Cas!"

Cas paused for a moment before answering. "What would you have me do?"

"Get me to Sam," I said, desperately. "We can stop this before it's too late."

"I do that, we will all be hunted. We'll all be killed."

"If there is anything worth dying for... this is it," I told him, but he shook his head and sighed. "So, what? I offer to help you. You fuckers lie to me, and now I don't even get to say goodbye before you blow up the planet and for some cheap ass promise of paradise. I've heard it all before." I shook my head. "It's never what they say it is, Cas. One mans paradise is another mans Hell, and you know that I know all about Hell."

"Dean..."

"No, you spineless, son of a bitch. I'm done. We're done here."

The room was empty again, and I fell to the floor. I closed my eyes, wishing I could reach out to Ava. To pray to her like I could to the angels. Baby if you can hear me, I'm so sorry. I did what I thought was right, but I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong... again.

I hit my head against the wall a few times, wishing for some clarity that I knew wouldn't come. It couldn't come. Sam was going to die hunting Lilith. The world was going to burn. I wouldn't see Nel grow up, or kiss Ava again. When was our last kiss? I couldn't even remember.

Great.

Squeak. I opened an eye, to see Cas shuffling across the floor in his cheap, brown dress shoes. They made this annoying rubber sound against the tile. "What are you doing here? I told you to go. God, let me just be miserable in peace."

Cas ignored me, rushing to the wall, he took a blade and sliced open his hand. I stood up slowly as he started painting in his own blood. "What are you?"

Zachariah poofed in, almost as if an alarm went off saying Hello Castiel is rebelling, again, wee woo wee woo. "Castiel what do you think you're doing?"

Cas turned to Zachariah, holding his hand up to the sigil. The same one Anna had drawn so long ago. "I'm choosing honor,” he said before pressing his palm to the sigil, sending Zachariah flying out of the room.

"Cas?"

"He won't be gone long. We have to find Sam now,” he said, his hand wound already healed.

"Where is he?" I asked, rushing to him.

"I don't know," Cas shook his head. "But I know who does. We have to stop him, Dean, from killing Lilith."

I frowned. "But Lilith's gonna break the final seal."

He shook his head, grabbing my forearm with a strength that I wouldn't expect from such a little guy. "Lilith is the final seal. She dies, the end begins."

—————

Chapter Thirty-One, We Would Always End Here

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Down for the Count

i wrote chaos earlier so here’s some angst.  this isnt my best im sorry uhhhhh forgive me and my jafl;kdkjfd;lkjfs;lakdjf i dont know yall im sdkja;ldsk its fine everythings fine akjdf;alkdjf;ls

warrnings: past minor character deaths, nightmares

ship: platonic ralbert

editing: do i ever?

Albert felt as if he was looking through someone else’s eyes as he watched his father seizing in the front seat.  Screams were erupting from his brothers, Elijah and Thomas’, throat as his mother desperately tried to steer the car to safety.  It was no use.  They were in the middle of the highway- there was nowhere to go.  Subconsciously, Albert fumbled to make sure his brothers were buckled.  He held an arm over Elijah’s middle and grasped Thomas’ hand tightly as they sped over the median.  The world seemed to distort as a black SUV barreled towards them.  His mother was screaming now as well.  He was certain that he was screaming too, but as the collision happened, everything went blank.

Albert’s eyes flew open, his heart pounding fast and heavy in his chest.  The lights in his room were still on and his phone was pinned underneath him.  He became aware of the fact that his socks were still on and he was not under the covers.  He must have fallen asleep on accident.  

Sitting up shakily, the images from his nightmare turned into vivid memories of that awful day.  No one had survived.  Not truly anyway.  Granted, it was only his mother who had been killed in the initial crash, but his father was pronounced dead at the hospital only a short two hours later.  This left Albert to take care of his thoroughly traumatized younger brothers, which was no easy feat considering he was dealing with his own baggage from the incident.

Scrubbing a hand down his face, he became aware of how lightheaded he felt.  He wrapped his arms around his middle, trying to calm down, but his breathing was gaining speed and he knew that if he wasn’t careful, he’d spiral into a breakdown.  He needed to calm down.  He needed to distract himself.  He needed Race.  

He blindly rolled out of bed, slipping off his socks in the process.  When he got to the hall, he noticed light pouring out from under Race’s door.  He was still awake.  As he reached for the doorknob, he hesitated, suddenly feeling self conscious. A wave of shame washed over him and he quickly withdrew his hand, reaching up to run it through his hair in order to expel some nervous energy.  What did he want Race to do?  Hold him like some child?  Rock him back and forth like an infant until he could breathe again?  No, he couldn’t ask that of Race.  He’d already done so much for him after the car crash.  He helped him with his brothers and listened to him as he screamed curses at the world for damning him with this life.  He didn’t need him to help him through some pathetic nightmare- especially since it had been literal years since these memories had plagued him.

He stared at the door blankly, feeling distantly angry at himself for being so weak.  His fists clenched at his sides and he dug his fingernails into his palms so hard they stung.  

He was just about to turn around and go back to his own bedroom when he heard footsteps behind him, then, “Al? What are you doing?”

He jumped and turned around, eyes widening as he made eye contact with Race, who was dressed in boxers and a hoodie.  He was wearing his glasses and holding a mug of something- most likely warm milk with honey: his go to midnight drink.

“Uh,” Albert swallowed around the lump in his throat, his heart rate rising again.

Race’s eyebrows furrowed in concern and he took a careful step towards him, “You okay? You look pretty spooked, is there a spider in your room again?”

Albert shook his head, looking down to his hands and wringing them together.  He took a shaky breath, “N-no, I just, uhm..”

“You just what?” Race asked slowly, “You’re kinda freaking out, man, which is freaking me out. What’s got you worked up?”

“I kinda had a bad dream,” Albert mumbled, refusing to look at Race.

“What, like a nightmare?” Race asked, confusion and concern evident in his voice.  Albert nodded and even though he wasn’t looking, he could feel Race soften, “What about? Wait, here, come in.” Albert stepped out of the way to let Race into the bedroom, then followed him to his bed.  They sat across from each other and Albert tucked his legs under him, picking at a thread on Race’s sheets.  He was aware that his breathing was still a little unsteady, but he couldn’t seem to slow it.  

“Hey,” Race said, breaking the silence, “Talk to me, man.”

Albert steeled himself and flicked his eyes up to Race’s.  He quickly felt overwhelmed and fixed his gaze back on the bed, “I had a dream about the accident.  It hasn’t happened in a few years and..I don’t know.  Kinda shook me up, I guess.”

Race hummed sympathetically, “I’m sorry, dude. D’you know if anything triggered it?”

Albert shrugged, “I dunno.  I don’t even remember falling asleep, which might honestly have something to do with it if that makes sense.”

“Yeah,” Race sipped at his mug, “If you were out of your usual sleep routine, your brain mighta flipped out a bit.  Do you wanna talk about the dream more?”

Albert pursed his lips, emotions rising in his throat as the dream played in his mind again, “No,” he choked, “I really, really don’t.  It’s too much, it’s-“

“Hey,” Race cut him off, hastily putting his mug on his bedside table and crawling over next to Albert, making sure not to touch him, “Hey, you don’t gotta say anything you don’t wanna.  How about this,” he bit his lip, considering his options, “It’s a Friday, so we don’t gotta be anywhere in the morning.  What d’you say we fuck sleep and go watch Phineas and Ferb, yeah?”

Albert felt his chest loosen and he looked up at Race, “Uh, yeah.  Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Yeah?” Race grinned, “Alright c’mon. I’ll go make you some hot cocoa while you set up Netflix.”

“Actually can I have some of that warm milk with honey you make?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Race bounded off the bed and Albert stood too, following him to the living room.  

“Oh and hey, Al?”

“Hm?”

“You can always come talk to me.  Any day, any hour.  Don’t feel like you have to hesitate.”

Albert blushed, warmth spreading through his stomach. He smiled, “Thanks, Racer.”

“‘Course.”

-

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[catmeme-moved]

all of the asks! >:3

god ok 

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

😏

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

i dont think i could date anyone who does any kind of drugs,, it makes me Very uncomfortable

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

its only 4 babey

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober...ive never been drunk

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

i guess?? it was in high school so i dnt think it rly counts since yknow, i was 16

7. What does your last received text say?

“jgdijgjfdivjdjdj me“

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

not enough times !!! i love kissing my gf

9. Where was your last kiss at?

in the parkinglot behind my dorm building

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i saw both my sisters when i was home for break a few weeks ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

coffey

12. Where did you sleep last night?

my bed 

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

not rly? i think if relationships r hard then they arent rly meant to be

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

god i wouldnt have spent so much money

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

none at all ;3c

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

i guess rainy....overcast weather is my fav

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

my mom ! probably lots of other people too shjkdh lee is a fairly common name i think

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

i hope so!!!

20. Does anyone like you?

god i sure hope my gf does

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nop

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

ya thats why i kissed them ghksdjs

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

no one that i know personally.. there r some like celebrities and other famous ppl i dont like

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yes i want a tattoo from a specific artist in my hometown!!!

25. In the past week have you cried?

i mean probably i dont remember though

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

a pug...i saw him in a donut shop

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

i dry off as im stepping out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no bc jocks intimidate me

29. Do you think you’re old?

not really in the grand scheme of things.. im only 20 i still have decades ahead of me !

30. Do you like text messaging?

ya

31. What type of day are you having?

its been ok! i spent time w my roommates downtown

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

i hav my septum pierced but a nostril piercing would b nice

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold..

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

i dont rly think theres such a thing as “opposite sex” since sex is also on a spectrum like gender

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship ! flings r nice i guess but i prefer the stability and commitment of an actual relationship

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

i thnik im fairly simple..idk

37. What song are you listening to?

when he died by lemon demon

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yea of course39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

my best friemd emily40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

theyre hot and funny and very kind!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?

idk maybe an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

im hungry and not being held by my gf43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

its my mom so fairly well i think44. Does anyone disgust you?

men45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no bc im already dating someone46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i feel...neutral47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my roommate !48. What color shirt are you wearing?

its blue pruple n green tie dye49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

ya my history professor told me i had to read books50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no one is coming to mind51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

i dont hate anyone!

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

almost gave up on ever being able to pet the raccoons outside the dining hall but someday ill be able to earn their trust

53. Do you like rain?

yes!!! 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

not rly ! as long as theyre safe about it ykwim55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

no i think ive told most of my crushes how i felt about them at the time 56. Do you like to cuddle?

god yes i love to hold and be held57. Are you shy?

its the social anxiety 58. Do you get along with girls?

i am a lesbian59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

we r dating !! 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and my peper spray 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

id do it for 10 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

ive been in my current one for 7 and my longest lasted 8 ! 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

yes! 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

anything my gf does is cute65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my cat yawned when she tried to meow and made a weird squeak sound

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

18 (or maybe 19 now idk), 19, 20

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

i do them myself bc i hate spending money68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

ghgdh,....neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

i dont have a car yet 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

neither...i dont rly like eithr of those music genres71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

im samsung bitch until i die72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

its been months. maybe years. i dont like pizza73. Do you like diet soda?    

i dont rly like any soda anymore tbh74. What color are the walls in your room?

plain white...f    75. Are you 16 or older?    

bitche im 2076. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

nop i dont even know waht its about77. Do you have a job?    

yes i work in a library !  78. What are your initials?    

ylb79. Did you ever have braces?    

no :^/80. Are you from the south?    

nope im a pnw bitch

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

something about voting82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

ya shes my best friemd83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

my mom.. fuck my dad !84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   

i vaguely remember attending a gymnastics class when i was like 5 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

uhh.. venom i think86. Do you smoke?    

no never !!!87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?   

flip flops. 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

god how old are these questions. who has a phone that isnt touch screen now89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

my hair is naturally curly !90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

a pool..... rivers and lakes r scary92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

not yet93. …Had sex in a car?    

no that seems. . difficult. theres not very much room94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

im in a luvly relationship95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

sleepin96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

new years i think??97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yea its pretty nice98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

no but ik i wanted one before i got into my current relationship skdgjhj99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

no but i did drink half a beer thing once and went to sleep bc i got a stomach ache100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

i dont even use facebook101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

when i was in first grade id play “family” w my friend sometimes and she’d pretend to be the dad and i was the mom so we would spoon each other bc we thot thats what sex was and i thought she actually got me pregnant bc i was 7 and didnt know anything102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

the song blind slaps103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

no its winter and i also dont go outdoors104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

 i hate wearing shorts

[riku-izanami]

2hrs 45min later

*jaune & cinder are both laying on each other panting heavily*

Cinder:...*huff* ..that......*huff*....was...*huff*....amazing...

Jaune:...*pant*...yeah.....*huff*.........you.....*huff*....really.....*pant*.....drained me

Cinder:*chuckled*......well....*huff*...you...really...*huff*...made me work for it......Tell me......*huff*......have you do this.....*pant*...before

Jaune:...*pant*...more times...*huff*...than you know....

Cinder:..oohh~~ you're a real stud....*huff*.... aren't you~~

Jaune:....well...just..started....it....seems...

Cinder: *tracung her finger on his chest* so~...how did your old job......handle you quiting so soon?

Jaune:..oh...i..didn't call my job....i...called my agent.

Cinder: *looks at jaune confusingly*...agent?

Jaune: yeah....he's kinda been forced to do this

*MEANWHILE, with ren the agent*

Ren: *at a desk with multiple phones* yes.....uhh.....we'll see what we can do.....he does a have regular, so we'll have to schedule this.......Saturday? Let me see.....Saturday is good.......what was your name again.....grimm studios....ok...interesting

*nora bursts through the office door*

Nora: HEY RENNY! A MS. HILL IS ASKING IF MR. ASTORIA CAN DO PRIVATE PARTIES

Ren:...one moment please....*mutes phone*...HMMMM...IDK.....I'LL CHECK THE SCHEDULE AND I'LL GET BACK TO YOU!

Nora: GOT IT.....*returns to her phone call* please hold mrs. Hill, we're checking his availability right now

*With jaune and cinder*

Cinder: my my~~ you seem to be becoming quite popular~~

Jaune:...he he..*rubs back of his head*....yeah

....i gues so....also can i get a ride to my job...I'd really like to keep this between us

Cinder: of course mr. Astoria....let's get dress first

*after jaune's shift os over*

Jaune: hey guys I'm back!

Pyrrha: *in her gym clothes* hello!

Ruby: *playing video games* hey jaune!....TAKE THAT...AND THAT...!

Weiss: *reading her dust books* arc

Yang: * player video games with ruby* Sup VB.....AWW WHAT?! I WAS BLOCKING

Pyrrha: how was work? Not to stressful i hope

Jaune: pretty good....i was a tad late but the owner seemed to understand. You going somewhere pyrrha

pyrrha: just going for a jog....wanna come? (Please say no...please say no)

Jaune: sorry...not today....kinda tired

Pyrrha: oh....that's fine...i hope you get well rested (OH THANK OUM)

Jaune: yeah...maybe tomorrow

Pyrrha: no its fine...oh look at the time! I should get going....oh and jaune

Jaune:...yeah?

Pyrrha: ren said he wanted to talk to you about something. He didnt say what though...

Jaune: oh...well I'll go talk to him..thank pyr

Pyrrha: of course *heads out the door, making sure she isnt being followed*.....not that that's out the way.....time to get that new anri astoria video...i hear this one is a limited edition witn a rreal scale toy of his......*her head glows red from embarrassment, but soon starts sprinting to the nears video store with pure determination*

*unbeknownst to her or anyone...ruby rose had the same goal in mind*

Ruby:.....damn it!...she got a head start....well ruby......TIME FOR OVER DRIVE

(Hey all, hope yall like this. I am also brainstorming for.the kidnapped.au, trying to find who gonna take him next so expect that sometime soon. i didnt put blake in 5his part because i can imagine she's setting something up with kali 😏. Also Ren & nora being jaune's agents just felt so right to me i had to make that a scene.

On a lesser note it's past midnight and i haven't been sleeping right so might not be as detailed.. but hey practice makes perfect. Peace

An opportunity has arrive V4

Ruby enters her dorm room with a big bag of cookies

Yang: Ruby did you spend your allowance on cookies again?

Ruby: Nop, this is a gift from Jaune.

Yang: A gift? Is he trying to seduce you?!

Ruby: What?! No, he didn’t “Seduce me” (I wish he did) I just help him get a job.

Yang: Oh, nice! Where?

Ruby: a part time job at the comic store downtown. I saw the sign and told him. So as thanks he give me this bag of cookies.

Yang: Ok, just don’t eat to much before dinner.

Ruby: *Annoyed* yes mom.

Meanwhile at the bullhead station

Jaune: Ok, now I just need to get a ride to the store. *Looks around* A taxi! *He raise his arm to get the drivers atencion*

An old looking taxi cab stop in front of him.

Cinder: Need a ride?

Jaune: Cinder! You are a cab driver?

Cinder:… Yes. Where do I take you?

Jaune: *Gets inside the cab* I need to go to the comic store in downtown. I got a new job there.

Cinder: *Start driving* Alright, let’s go.

Jaune: How long have you been a driver?

Cinder: Today is my first day. You are my first costumer.

Jaune: Nice *Looks around inside the cab* Why do you have a lot of cameras here?

Cinder: Is for… security. Yes security.

Jaune: It makes sense

Cinder: Hey Jaune, how much are they paying you?

Jaune: About this much $$$$ every 2 weeks

Cinder: You know, I know a job that can pay you more than that in one day. If you are interested.

Jaune: Really! Where?

Cinder: Is at my job. Let me take you to our office. Is that ok?

Jaune: Yes please! I just going to call the owner that I cannot work for them anymore. *Uses his scroll*

Cinder: *Evil smile* Excellent!

Jaune: How far is the office?

Cinder: Is not that far. Just relax and enjoy the ride. *quietly while Jaune is talking on the phone* Everything is going according to plan. *Quiet evil laugh*

Cinder then make a left turn onto an empty road.

[101scenes]

Wanna One Lai Guan Lin - The 24 Hour Challenge

 featuring: lai guan lin

genre: fluff

word count: 1,964 words

summary: a 24-hour experience with a newly assigned class, and a so-called crush

suggested: nah lmao

you were a junior in your high school

so as an annual tradition, each junior class has to conduct something special for their class to bond before the start of the school year

because in sophomore year you all were in different classes

so you kind off had to get to know each other

your newly elected class representative, lee daehwi, suggested a 24 hour challenge at a chalet

and it was somehow approved by the school

it was supposedly “innovative” and a “fresh idea”

anyways

everyone in your class managed to chip in a little fee to book the chalet for a full day

luckily in your new class you knew a few people from your sophomore class

you thought about skipping cause you thought it would be weird lmao

but your friend dragged you along because she loves exploring new things

so ofc you went

class spirit!

time skip

on the day of the 24 hour challenge

everyone gathered at the booked chalet at about 3pm

& our amazing class rep split the class up into small groups of 4 to their rooms to unpack

boys & girls rooms duh

at about 4pm everyone was gathered back at the common room

and he began explaining the ground rules

like no alcohol, no illegal substances etc

and no electronics

so he had to confiscate everyone’s phone lmao

he also explained the itinerary of the full 24 hours

and he said everyone could hang around until 6pm, where people had to gather at the bbq pit for dinner

after dispersing, you were left defenseless without your precious phone

so you went to the kitchen

isnt the kitchen everyone’s safe haven lmao

and started socializing with your new classmates

you made a few friends surprisingly 

and it was fun overall

stirring your cup of coffee, you looked over at the common room decked with kinect & wii games

you spot this really enthusiastic kid that dragged his friend to switch on just dance to play

seeing the slightly taller guy dance made you smile a little

he seemed like a really reserved guy, but he looked like he was having lots of fun with his friend

it was really cute

so you never thought you would do this

but you joined them

since just dance could play up to 4 people

you decided why not

you never tried just dance

and you played a game with them

yes, without asking their names

after this extremely long and strenuous song

you got second place

with the taller guy in last

you look over to expect a defeated look

but he was still smiling like how he did 10 minutes ago

he was panting yeah

trying to regain his breath on the couch

he still looked really smol

even tho he was tall

while you let your other classmates play

you learnt the guy who got 1st place was seonho

he was generally just a really happy guy

you kindoff guessed it when he entered the class on the first day and gave everyone a sweet and a card with a happy face sticker on it

& the other guy

who was still dancing away

was named guanlin

after chatting a bit with seonho you decided to help out at the bbq pit

and you saw daehwi & your friend chatting away

they were exchanging jokes and giggles

and you just pressed your hand against the glass pane and smiled

you sHIPPED THEM sO hard

bc class rep & vice class reps are shippable

then you heard someone next to you say,

“i ship them too, they’re cute,”

you faced him, to see guanlin pressing his arm against the glass pane as well

“oh, hello, i’m y/n,” you turned to him and greeted

and he did the same

as you threw him a towel from the drawer to wipe his sweat, you asked,

“should we disrupt their moment?”

guanlin shook his head

“nah, it’s their moment,” he said, smiling as he walked away

you watched him as he walked away

and that kindoff concluded your first interaction with him

the guy with the smile that needed to be protected

time sKIP

after some good dinner

(daehwi made sure eVEryone was full)

(class rep more like mother)

he said it was time for gamES!!

you could hear seonho frm the other side of the room squeal

& it was hide and seek

you swore you haven’t played hide and seek ever since you were 8

but you were convinced that you could find a great hiding spot

you kindoff saw a spot earlier that no one wld ever suspect (!!)

so once the seeker began counting down, you loitered a bit first

cause you wanted to see everyone scatter

maybe you could find a better spot

but you ultimately went to your spot

which was this camouflaged door under the stairs that led to a small storage area

you weren’t afraid of small spaces

so why not

you opened the door to see 

well

a tall fella

sat in the corner

before you could apologize and leave, the seeker had already announced he would begin

and guanlin grabbed your wrist, pulled you in and shut the door

uhh it was kindoff a small space

so it was just you and guanlin

in the dark

uncomfortably close

you were both sitting in silence

you wanted to say something

but the seeker could hear you guys talking if you did

so you kept quiet

you could still see some of guanlin’s face due to the fading light falling into through the thin walls

he had literally no flaws

how can a guy have flawless skin?!?

without thinking you blurted out,

“sO-”

before you could even continue tho

he grabbed your wrist again

his hand shocked you lmao

so you fell forward a bit & he caught you

& you could smell his scent

like

NO

you felt like you did injustice

and you backed up a bit and whispered sorry

thanks to the light

you couldnt see the red fading on guanlin’s cheeks

oh & god damn your ears were all red too

ugh just kiss already

anyways

the seeker was left with you two

and could not find you two

so you two crawled out of the little storage room 

everyone didn’t expect the two of you to be together

in an enclosed space

so there were a bit of murmurs

daehwi exCLAIMED,

“yOU hAVe vIOLATED THe RUleS of INdeCen-”

“NO” you blurted

daehwi started laughing

and everyone did too

except you and guanlin

you literally thought they were interrogating you

but it was a joke

haha joking

you fake-laughed

you turned around to see him

just looking away

occasionally rubbing his cheeks

after the game, it was curfew, & you managed to escape to your room as quickly as possible

and dug your face into your pillow

and you just lied there for 10mins

and did not notice your friend enter

“what was the deal with guanlin? are you all a thing?” your friend asked as she sat on your bed

“uughhhhhhh”

“so i take that as a no?”

you sit up and faced her

“it was embarrassing,” you said & covered your face

“pff, it’s okay, have a good nights rest okay?” she said, patting your back

after sulking a bit more, you decided to change into your pjs

as you walked out of the room door, you noticed guanlin walking to his room wearing his freshly changed pjs

it was a matching set of fluffy pjs

it was so adorable wtf

wait

wHy were you feeling these?!?

you shook your head vigorously

like girl

you cant fall for some guy you just met

you did a quick change and went to sleep

but through hours of tossing and turning

you couldnt sleep

you just couldnt sleep in a new environment

partially another reason you didnt want to come

you would naturally grab your phone and scroll around on instagram or something

but since you didnt have it

you just laid on your bed

looking at the clock

it was almost 3am

you sighed

you had nothing to do

so you decided to go down to kitchen and make yourself some hot tea

it was really soothing to you

as you floated down the stairs craving for your tea

you noticed the kitchen light on

you peeked in

and saw guanlin standing there with his own cup of drink

before you could run away from the embarrassment previously

he called out your name

“yo y/n! you up too?”

you found his raspy voice so bEauTifuL

you slowly spun around

and reminded yourself to not remember the incident previously

and you did

“uhh, y-yeah,” you stammered, and walked past him to make a drink

he saw you, it was impossible to just walk away again

“ahaha yeah, me too, i can’t sleep in new places,”

while the hot water was pouring into your cup, you turned around

“rEally?” you said too enthusiastically

you eyes literally shone 

and he was shocked

“o-oh sorry hah, i have the same problem,” you said, collecting your drink

looking out of the window, you said

“i just never knew someone with the a similar, yknow,”

guanlin hummed in agreement

the next hour was just spent talking

about anything tbh

about how you never really saw him in freshman and sophomore year because he was that timid

about grades

until you two finished your midnight drinks

you two walked up the stairs back to your rooms together

as you turned the doorknob to your room, he ruffled your hair and passed by behind you

“goodnight, y/n”

you could hear a smile from his voice

which made your heart melt ok

you returned to your bed and kindoff reflected

you would be spending two more of your years in school with your cRush

oh god u admitted your crush

aaaaaaaaaaaa

and you fell asleep to the thought that you would be able to see that smile everyday

fEw hOURs pass

9am!! sun rise!!!

breakfast!!

ofc u weren’t up because you slept at like 4am last night lmao

so you waddled out of bed at 11am

everyone already had their breakfast and are literally out of the door heading for the beach 

you were so behind time lmao

once you saw no one around, you realized you were late

as you opened the front door, you heard stomping behind you

it was guanlin

because he slept at 4am too

“lets goooo!!” you shouted, grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the door

jeez he didnt even put on slippers yet

once you reached the beach, you just ate the sandwich you packed for lunch and thats about it

while everyone else played

you werent much of a fan of the sun and outdoors bahah

but you saw guanlin playing in the water with the other guys

he had the smile again

the captivating one

you sigh and just look his way

for some reason

you had the urge to make him smile like that

and you really wanted to see him smile because of you

and you only

uhgh what were u thinking

time sKip

it was time to leave :(

everyone was one by one leaving the compound with their belongings

and you were one of the last ones

when you left, you saw guanlin waiting for you near the door

guanlin grinned, put down his duffel bag and opened his arms

you walked right into them, hugging him back

“see you soon, guanlin,” you said

“wait-”

you turn around

“uhm, i would love to talk with you again,” he said, handing you his phone with a new contact application

you smiled

“of course,”

[dunewizard]

Session 3: The Cutlass

I wrote a write up for the last D&D game I was a player for, we’re attempting a duet campaign, so I finally got to play my Evil Aligned Gunslinger Drow character Carric Do’Rae! (Level 4 Rogue with 2 Revolvers found from the Dungeon Masters Guide)

I wanted to post one of the write ups here, i’d keep it under a readmore, but yeah! I added Heroforge figurines to help visualise people and scenes. Carric is a bit edgy and definitely isnt the type of character I go for, I just realised a Chaotic Evil character isnt... fit for most party scenarios. Its got a killer end to the session so if you do feel like reading a session recap written in first person - be sure to read to the end! :D

Session 3: The Cutlass

  I surfaced in Southern Luskan, amidst the graves of the dead I rose as the zombies would. I knew The Cutlass was in the south side of town, and under the cover of the midnight moon I stepped out to the streets and hugged the darkness like a shield. I didn't get far before I felt like I was being followed, that hobgoblin from earlier was wreathed in an ominous shadowy cloak, I nodded to him but he seemed intent on getting me back on my mission. Fair enough.

Heading towards the wall I figured I must have been close to the docks, the stench of the muck I was in earlier has washed into the very cobbles that dot the ground in this city. Their stench brought in from seagoers and tradesmen alike, and speaking of them, a sextuplet of ne'er-do-wells approached me reeking of alcohol and rage. I kept to myself but I was more than ready to hit them up the moment they took a step in the wrong direction. They opted to call me out. "Oy! What do you think youre doing walking the streets at this hour?" they queried, slurring their words as they spoke. "I could ask you the same question, do you really want to do this? Incur the wrath of the mighty Spirton Baensek?" I bluffed. They seemed bewildered, the name was shared by someone I would care to forget from my past, but their name became a bit of a personal joke, so i used it. They seemed to ignore the name, and replied in turn with their own - I admit, I wasn't impressed with them in the slightest. At first I took them for a shift of Luskan Guards coming off work, I hadn't seen what they perhaps wore for a uniform so this was the best they had, I mean they appeared to be a Navy division perhaps. But it was evident from their demeanour and their willingness to slash me to death with their cutlasses implied they were Pirates to some degree, once they said they were the So-and-So Pirates, I knew they were little to no threat to me. “Oh! So youre not Luskan Guards? Well that makes this easy!” and With a quick flourish I doffed my cloak and drew my revolvers, I aimed them at the gang.

"Uh oh lads, he's a Wizard," they whispered among themselves "We'd better scram." They began to cower. "Uh - Sorry! Sorry Mr Baensek - we'll be on our way! Don't turn us inside out!". I put my cloak on once more, and motioned for them to clear off, and out of my way. I turned to watch them leave, and out of the corner of my eye I see the Hobgoblin was inches away from sending a deadly arrow into the eyes of their charismatic leader. At least I had a watching angel in case things go sideways. I reached the Inn, a brothel it seemed, brazzieres and bodies were being thrown everywhere upstairs, and stabbings were going on in the lower floor that contained the bar. Quaint. I didnt plan on staying long. There were two tough looking Grunts outside standing guard, I take it they wouldnt like drow - but I wonder about Elves in general. I posed as my Wizard persona Mr Baensek once more and held my tinderbox like a book. Without so much more than a "Get out of here you rapscallion - filthy - no good - snake in the grass - back biting - arrow slingin - stinking ELF" I was sent away like a street rat. Welcoming. Well, I needed to get in, and I didn't feel like waiting outside this location for the next 5 days on the hopes my man Morick wants to pay them a visit, even if I knew what he looked like I'd be up the River Rauvin without a paddle. So I needed a better plan. I took to the thieves highway up on the rooves, hoping to land a shot on one of the bouncers.

Hiding atop a roof, I aimed my Shortbow and took a shot.

His large frame was such a large and easy target.

He dropped like a feather brushed by the wind. Screaming in pain.

Noticing the noise I hightailed it out of there, I had a plan to circle the block and take a similar shot on the other bouncer, who hadn't moved from his post. Dedicated I guess. No one suspected a thing, noone was helping the sod on the floor - this town has been the first I can agree with in a long time. I couldnt quite find my mark on the second bloke, this angle was weird, but I wasnt going to risk being spotted here. I wedged my feet into the beams supporting a drainage pipe and attempted to fire a shot hanging off the side of the building, it was the closest to a sure thing that I had. Something shifted in my weight, and suddenly I realised I was too heavy - but it was too late. I began to fall towards the floor, I didnt want to miss this opportunity, so I aimed my bow while falling, and pincushioned the second bouncer. He dropped like a stone much like the first. But I was falling now, and I was falling fast. Reaching out I managed to grab onto a ledge, and met my falling speed perfectly. In fact It was so perfect that my momentum was held and sent me through the nearest window - waking up the resident of the house, an old man. In bed, barely awake, he begins fumbling for a broadsword under his bed, I was swift in taking his life. I drove my shortsword through his gullet, and he coughed blood everywhere, but it seemed he was not done dying - so to be sure I pulled his covers over him and made sure to stuff his mouth with his sleeping cloth. Meanwhile I could hear outside - the boucners were screaming about "Finding that damned Elf". Looking to the old man's meager table, there was some charcoal and writing paper with scribblings of death threats and extortion papers. I scribbled a note quickly: "Shut up about Elves" - a simple effective note. I tied it to another one of my arrows, and sent it into one of the bouncers who had began to stand. After reading the note he walked over to where I was, calling out to the old man - telling him to knock it off with his notes. This moron was creating such a ruckus, why didn't I just kill them and call it a day? Ugh. Searching around the Old Man's apartment I located the sword he was reaching for, I've never quite held something so hefty - let alone knew how to use it, I threw the sword out over my shoulder, not quite looking at where it would land. As luck would have it, the sword met the mouth of the bouncer quite well. In fact it slid down his gullet like a wet fish, killing him instantly. Bizarre  These encounters took me all the way to morning, as I approached the bar it was coming to first light, parting the nightly fog. Stepping over the bodies of the bouncers, I made my way inside The Cutlass. A crew were cleaning up the exploits of last night, a small crew of women in bodices and corsets were on cleanup duty - they quickly tried to shoo me out, telling me to come back at midday when they open again. I had to insist, I was in a hurry to find Morick. I announced my business, that I was after Morick, I had heard he frequented this bar, and that I could find him here. I would be willing to pay for the information, and flicked the Hostess of this Inn a lantanese golden coin. A hush fell upon the room, "oh no, theyre that poor" I think to myself. I reach for my gold bag, and can you believe it, one of the maids were already reaching to grab it! The nerve! I kick the swine in the stomach, and with her out of grabbing distance I draw my Revolver and point it at her head. "You don't want to see what this does" I warn.

With eyes crossed, looking at the barrel, she stands up and begins to shuffle away. The Hostess suddenly straightens herself up, asks her workers to leave us alone - and takes me a little more seriously. I mean, I've come in with some serious money by the sounds - and I am willing to kill on a single attempt at thievery in a town famous for it’s thieves? I'm glad I made that impression, because it was dead on. 

I sit at the bar with one hand on my purse, and the other hand on my gun, I couldn’t trust anyone except except my guns - that much I knew. The Hostess takes my measure and inquires what I'm looking for, I repeated that I need to locate Morick and that I was lead here, the rest was a mystery to me. I knew that money talked, so before she could land a deal I placed my price on the table. 5 Lantanese Gold Coins. The gold alone would likely have been enough but that crystal in the Lantanese made them a near collectors item this far from Lantan. I lay them on the bar and pushed them to her, I then made a case for her. "You don't really like this backwash town do you? With this sort of money you could sell this place and head as far as Baldur's Gate, if you fancy. Start up somewhere new, somewhere fresh, away from the grime of this city. I know I won't want to stay long, why should you?" She considered this for a moment, and the reserved look on her face knew it was enough for her, but for good measure to secure accurate information I threw in an extra coin anyway - she could have made an attempt on my life if she wanted, and then I'd have to kill her, so I'm working good faith into her now. In the true illuskan way, she sells her information of Morick as soon as she sees that 6th coin hit the bar.

She told me that he doesnt really come to this bar, but it was a bit of a trap to catch out those who wouldnt know any better, or learn how to be worth his time. Turns out Morick is a big time thief, assassin, and general ruckus-maker. His real haunt was a second location, across from the Winter Palace on the second floor. She warned he was known for his traps, so I should be prepared to dodge or disarm a bunch if I plan to break in uninvited. She then explained that If I were to flash a light at the 2nd story window facing the street, I may be granted entry but I'll need to learn the pattern as it changes every week.

Rats

She then explained that it'll take her a day and a half to skip town, so I'm not to make my move until she's ready. We'll see if I honour that with time. We’ll see if I honour that in time. This whole conversation was observed by the Bard who was sitting on the other side of the bar. I wasnt threatened by his stance, he was idly tuning a fiddle hoping I wouldnt notice him, I wager. He has been checking out the bag of Gold I have swaddled to my person. I turn to him, and address him directly. "Bard, I'll give you some of this money if you write a song about me - detail the fearsome might of the dreaded Gunslinger, Carric Do'Rae". 

"... Sir... pardon... but what is a Gunslinger?" he said, quivering almost. At this point, one of the bouncers who were bleeding out just an hour earlier came to, and woke up. " YOU! " he screamed, pointing at me.  He began to charge across the room at a breakneck pace. 

While not breaking eye contact with the bard, I raise my right Revolver over my shoulder, and with a BANG I plant a bullet between the eyes of the brute, killing him instantly.

"... That's a Gunslinger"

[rachelisnotatwork]

Iceland: finally we see the light!

The worst bit about flying to Iceland, or I should probably add flying to Iceland when you are too cheap to pay for a decent airline, is that you have to dress like you are going on a solo trek to the South Pole in order to reduce the weight in your suitcase. Luckily it was quite cold the day we left but we were still glowing, red-faced, as we headed to the airport wearing snow boots, scarves, big coats, all our heaviest stuff in our hand luggage etc.

The flight there was pretty uneventful and it was a beautifully clear day, which meant for good views over the sleeping tourist by the window. When we arrived we just had to pick up our car and go.

Now by this stage in the “life of constant holidays” game, we are pretty much Hertz deluxe members which means what normally happens is we book a smart car and turn up to be upgraded to a minibus. Often we have to scale back the excesses of the upgrade because we don’t want the hassle of trying to park a giant car/fuelling up a giant car. So we were pretty confident that whilst we’d booked a tiny and shit car, that wouldn’t be what we were given. Well that smugness came to an abrupt end when we collected our tiny and shit car. Turns out that Iceland isn’t one of those free upgrade locations...and car rental is expensive here so they had no desire to give us a freebie. So we puttered into town in our tiny and shit car, a journey made far more stressful than it needed to be by the fact that Marcel’s phone is an early adopter of Brexit and the GPS locator dot on google maps only seems to work in the UK. After a lot of swearing we did make it to our surprisingly chilly airbnb. It was in a converted garage and the host had made the interesting decision not to install an extractor fan but instead keep the windows open 24/7 (in Iceland electricity is pretty much free so no one cares about their heating bills). We closed the windows because the humidity definitely wasn’t our problem. 

We decided in the evening we’d go to the Pizza Restaurant we liked, so we headed into town, struggled to park (there’s a lot of snow, which means getting a tiny shit car into a space is quite hard) and skittered down the pavement in the -10c weather to the restaurant. Only to find it had stopped being a pizza joint last week and was now trialling its new menu. I wasn’t hugely keen as they didn’t have much of a vegetarian selection but Marcel didn’t want to re-park or go out walking in the cold so decided to stick with it.

I asked for a pearl barley dish, without the lamb that was supposed to be on top of it. Marcel selected their rutabaga dish. I advised him not to select this as vegetarian is always interpreted in expensive restaurants as “on a diet”. He said I was being silly and it would be a decent portion. He ended up with a palm-sized dish of pureed rutabaga with some crispy slices of it on top. Didn’t want to say “I told you so” but felt I had to, because that’s what life is like in a long-term relationship. 

The next day we headed out of town after a delicious breakfast somewhere that looked like a construction site, but was actually a decent cafe. We had quite a long way to drive so we decided we’d drive straight out to Vik and lunch there. As we headed out of town, the roads got pretty icy and once the wind picked up there were drifts of snow on the road. Always reassuring to see some people digging out a 4 x 4 that’s skidded off the road when you are in a tiny 2WD city car with about 4 inches of clearance.

We had lunch in Vik, which has got much busier since the last time we were there (it has 2 places you can lunch now rather than one) and went for a quick but windy walk on the beach, before setting off again.

We wanted to visit Jökulsárlón the next day in the morning and since there’s not much in the way of accommodation in those parts we had booked into a place called the Fosshotel Glacier Lagoon. It was surprisingly busy and we had to park right the other side of the car park. In my business putting on my gloves, I completely failed to notice Marcel getting out the car and immediately falling over on the ice, but thankfully he was uninjured and thus was able to complete his usual suitcase duties.

Our room had a pretty nice window seat overlooking the view down to the sea so we snuggled up on there and read books before dinner. The only option was the hotel restaurant and I decided I didn’t want to know how much I was going to pay for dinner so refused to do the conversions. It was an...interesting meal. My starter involved so much horse radish I spent the rest of dinner constantly wanting to sneeze. We’d decided we wanted to go hang out in the sauna after dinner so were slightly impatiently waiting for the bill, which they were tardy bringing. The delay was soon compensated for though by the announcement from the staff just after we’d paid our bill that the Northern lights were visible outside. We immediately stampeded onto the balcony to see a very impressive green streak of light across the sky.

We were torn between “this could disappear any second” and “I’m really cold and I want to go get my coat” so in the end we made a mad dash for our room, layers and my camera. Maddeningly, I almost always bring my tripod with me on holiday, but this time pressed for space and weight and with so many unsuccessful trips behind us I’d not bothered. I’m not sure I’d have photographed things much better with it though, because I hadn’t really appreciated that there’s nothing really to focus on through your view finder when what you are trying to photograph is green shimmering light on a black background. I tried though.

It did look amazing. We walked out to the front of the hotel (which incidentally involved us and a bunch of other guests stampeding past the sauna full of confused nude people to get out the quickest exit) and stood in the snow, watching the green waves slowly undulate and shiver across the sky. I hadn’t really got a grasp on the speed of how they move before. Sometimes they seemed like they barely moved at all, and indeed for at least an hour there was one solid green band across the sky that didn’t really change. In other areas you had to look at the edges to notice any movement at all. But occasionally something rapid would furl and unfurl and move across the whole sky in 10-20 seconds.

The other thing that I hadn’t anticipated is that I guess the light in the atmosphere warps our perception of the light from the stars so they looked very unfamiliar. Much bluer than normal and Sirius was swapping between flashing blue and orange so rapidly we thought it was a plane for a while.

Eventually we got cold so went back inside and sat on our window seat and watched it until about midnight. After that it had got pretty dim and we decided we’d better shut the blinds or neither of us would really get any sleep.

The next morning we rose with the dawn and headed over to Jökulsárlón. We did not want to pay 28 euros a head for breakfast in our hotel and we’d vaguely remembered there was a cafe there, so we decided to eat there. I don’t remember the food options being so basic last time. It has also got considerably busier so the indoor toilet is no longer open to visitors and we had to go out to the (thankfully perfectly clean) portaloos in the car park which were absolutely freezing. Climbing up a small hillock to look over the lagoon exposed us to such lacerating winds that my phone promptly went from 98% battery to 9% from the horrors of the cold. I had to tuck it inside all my layers to keep it alive. It was beautiful though.

There are two things to see at Jökulsárlón- the lagoon where ice bergs calve and you can see cute seals pop in and out between them and the so-called Diamond Beach where the ice bergs meet the sea and often get washed up on the shore. Last time we’d driven between the two sites but with the thick snow on the ground we didn’t dare take our car to the beach and instead plodded through the deep snow and strong winds over there.

It was beautiful, especially since unlike last time the sun was out and was glittering through the ice. However the wind was so cold it burnt my face, which ended up really painful and weirdly bright red on one side by the time we returned to the car.

We had gone to Jökulsárlón quite early because we had another 5 hours drive ahead to our Airbnb in Seyðisfjörður. The only reason we’d come back to Iceland was we’d loved our airbnb in Seyðisfjörður so much the last time we’d been there that we resolved we’d return one winter and just hang out there. And this was our plan.

The views as we drove east were spectacular. 

The road conditions driving out east were….pretty appalling. After Jökulsárlón, there aren’t many tourists which means there really isn’t much traffic. I think we saw more reindeers than cars as we fishtailed on ice and wondered why in the hell they only had crash barriers off the side of some of the roads that hooked around cliffs over the sea. At one point we drove past an abandoned van on it’s side with “accident” tape around it. By the time it was getting dark there was such a high wind driving over one of the passes you couldn’t see more than the 5m road marking pole in front of you. Which is when you really rue your car rental choices of a Kia Rio.

The winds had at least calmed down a bit by the time we arrived in Seyðisfjörður. All we had to do was get up our drive to our airbnb overlooking the valley. I said to Marcel I hoped the car would make it. He said he wouldn’t mind if we got stuck in the snow now because we could walk to our airbnb. He had to say that...seconds later our car gently skidded off the road and into the huge snow bank on the side of the drive.

Our hosts had apparently been supposed to email saying meet them in the town because the drive way had been blocked by a lot of snow, but they hadn’t. However they did use their monster truck to spend the next 45 minutes extracting us from the snowbank, so swings and roundabouts. In the end we ended up leaving our car at their house in town and getting a lift up to our cabin with our stuff. Thankfully we’d already done a shop and planned to self-cater so we could recuperate from the long and slightly terrifying drive with a soak in the hot tub and dinner.

Our hosts had been very emphatic that we could ask them for lifts in and out of town whenever we wanted, but a combination of Britishness and embarrassment about disturbing their dinner to get them to dig our car out meant that we decided to walk into town instead. It was a pretty gentle and pleasant 2.5km downhill and we felt very smug especially when we saw some locals “walking” their dog by driving slowly as the dog chased the car (later saw the tracks of someone who’d been driving their snowmobile to exercise their dog). 

The supermarket in town was...weirdly British. There were McVities digestives (Marcel discovered the chocolate and caramel ones on this holiday so I ended up having two packets wedged in my pocket for the journey home). Suede was playing over the tannoy. And a woman, who turned out to be the owner with a very strong midlands accent on the till. Apparently she met her Icelandic husband in Nottingham.

We pottered back up the hill (slightly less pleasant walk against gravity and into the wind when it is -12c outside) and spent the rest of the day living the dream eating biscuits, reading books and popping in and out of the hot tub. Just as good as I remembered it.

The next day we got slightly more adventurous and decided to go on a little snowshoeing adventure. It was -14c out and REALLY windy so I decided I didn’t want to venture far. Marcel wanted to go on the ridge behind our cottage but I said it looked avalanchy so we continued along our level of the valley a bit further. I love snowshoeing but our tracks were getting covered in seconds with the waves of snow blowing across the ground and it was incredibly cold so we only stayed out for about half an hour. When we got back Marcel said he was going to ask our hosts if it were safe to go up higher into the mountains but his conclusion was that it couldn’t be an avalanche risk area or they wouldn’t have built the town there. A quick google later and we discovered that the town is the site of Iceland’s worst ever avalanche tragedy with 24 people killed at the end of the 19th century and a factory flattened at the end of the 20th century. After that we decided to stick to the hot tub in safer activities.

The next day, despite stocking up on enough chocolate digestives to last several lifetimes, we had to go back into town to start our car because we’d forgotten that car batteries don’t really like it brutally cold. So down to town we pottered. Problem was, Marcel forgot that key fob batteries also don’t like it cold and he’d left the fob in an outer pocket. So when we got to the car we couldn’t remotely open it. We had to manually open it with the key in the lock, which triggered the alarm to go off. I think our hosts, whose house we’d parked outside, were fairly sure we were actually handicapped when it came to motor vehicles. We drove the car around a little bit and then tried to park it again, only to find ourselves menaced by a goose. I know this sounds like a joke but it was hanging out in our parking space, wouldn’t move and then tried to get inside our car. We had to lure it away with crisps (not sure if salt and vinegar crisps are good for geese. If anyone found a dead goose later that day, sorry[ish]). 

We pottered back up the hill and settled down to the rest of the day; an exhausting cycle of hot tub and reading in our beautiful cottage.

By the night time it had started to lightly snow. We decided we’d have a really long final hot tub soak so lazed in there like hippos. I was trying to catch some snowflakes on my tongue (sod’s law, none seemed to fall in my mouth but they kept repeatedly landing directly on my eyeballs) and suddenly we saw the northern lights again. Which was incredibly luck considering the night was reasonably cloudy. They whirled around for about 5 minutes and then disappeared, which was a very nice last evening at our cottage.

The next day we nervously checked the road conditions and headed off. Going south there was a huge storm forecast and the road was pretty much out of bounds. Luckily we were heading back to Reyjavik via the northern route. Step one of the journey was get over the pass to Egilsstaðir. No problem. The next step of the journey, which was between Egilsstaðir and Mývatn, is the least driven part of the circular road around Iceland, Route 1. We drove for about an hour. All was well. Then we noticed some cars slowing down ahead to find that the snow had drifted across an uphill portion of the road, where a little car had skidded and got stuck on the opposite side of the road (not dangerous, because there’s about 10 cars an hour on this road). This was unsettling to us in our tiny Kia as we clearly couldn’t turn around as the Southern roads were out, there is no other road ploughed at this time of year to get around this, and our car was clearly no better suited to it than the skidded car that a jeep was now trying to rescue. Marcel got out of the car and walked the hill to better look at it. We had zero phone reception (annoyingly we did at most places along the route but we had none there) to call the roads number to see when the next snowplough was due. So in the end we decided to risk it. We skidded and skittered but we eventually made it through!  Which was both good and bad as now we were aware that if we hit any further bad road conditions we’d be really screwed as we’d be unlikely to be able to go back the way we came as the snow was continuing to drift. We did however make it to Mývatn okay, which was good because after that the road is a bit more used so a bit more ploughed.

We had lunch in the cow restaurant we’d been to before and ate rye bread cooked in a lava vent and looked out the window at the 3ft of snow piled outside and debated thermal baths over further snowshoeing. 

There was however a road that wasn’t ploughed in winter but led up to a caldera, which we thought might be nice to snowshoe on as would have a level terrain under the snow and a decent end point. So we drove down there….only to find that some extremely optimistic/dim tourist had decided to drive their 2wd small car on what was clearly an unploughed road with several feet of snow on it and got stuck, and now the entrance to the unploughed road was filled with vehicles trying to rescue them. With our plans to snowshoe thwarted, we decided to head to the Mývatn baths.

The downside of this is that they turned out to be in a selectively extremely windy spot. We got out the car to find a wind speed best described as “scouring”. We are made of stern stuff though so headed bravely onwards. The pools are obviously hot, but the wind was so strong it was generating waves in the pool (fine) and then breaking those waves into spray in the air. Which meant the only tolerable thing to do was float on your back with only your nose and mouth above water. Unfortunately I suffer from a terrible affliction known as “extremely buoyant legs” so struggled over the next hour to stop them surfacing and exposing my feet and knees to a little light hypothermia. I ended up tucking them under Marcel’s legs which are incredibly unbuoyant (how lucky that of all the people in the world I found my leg buoyancy opposite).

We eventually got out and drove onto Akureyri. Our accomodation was right in the middle of town on a steep hill. So steep and so badly gritted (which I feel is a strange thing for a road in a pretty big [for Iceland] town in a very snowy part of the world to be) that our car got stuck trying to get up it. Eventually we got enough traction to make it into the car park of our hotel, but we decided to limit dinner choices to “restaurants within walking distance”. Luckily there was a burger joint in our street that we could totter carefully to.

Our final day was 6 hours of driving to get to the airport in time for our flight. Which was pretty stressful. Not going to lie. There seemed to be an uncanny (given how empty the roads were) link between where the snow was thickest and most slippery and the sudden emergence of a large lorry barrelling along in the other direction (the ring road is a single lane in each direction for about 99% of the road). But we made it! With just enough time to collapse with nervous exhaustion and eat some sandwiches before our flight home. Despite the terrors of driving and the discovery that renting a tiny car in winter is only a good idea 75% of the time, it was an amazing relaxing week and also FINALLY we got some decent northern lights!

[saintkimora]

well here is how the past 4 days have been w joel

we started talking on scruff like 5 days ago. it was actually really nice conversation. like i usually suck at talking to people on those apps but w him it came naturally so that was a good first sign

so our first cuddle date was on friday night. i drove to his apartment and i actually drove on the parkway! it was scary but i had to do it bc using the regular streets would have taken like an extra 12 minutes. i was not expecting much bc he said on scruff that he isnt looking for a relationship bc hes been going from relationship to relationship for a while and he felt suppressed so he wanted some time to just hoe around (ok caleb) so i went into it just expecting a decent one night thing. i got there around midnight

 so i finally got there and he was soooooooooo cute in person omg!!! he already looked cute in his profile pic but he was even cuter irl. so i got there and his 3 roommates were all in like the living room area so i had to meet them. it was hard and i was getting more nervous as the convo went on. but the first thing one of them asked me was if i knew who that poppy was and i was like yeah i do lol and they all went wild asfajkdfbheakdfkha they were so surprised that i knew who she was! and then one of them showed me her pet toad lmao 

so then we went into his room. we cuddled and talked and stuff and it was soooooo nice omg. he was sooooooooooooo cute and sweet and affectionate and funny and his voice is kinda dorky. and his hair is SOOOOOOOOO SO nice omg i was touching it like all night. and his ass is so nice omg i finally got a man with some ass!!! his ass is so fat and hairy and jiggly omg! and he had a really cute soft belly too and he has nice titties. and his eyelashes are so cute and he had nice eyebrows and a nice beard and soft lips. AND he likes me hairy and he told me i didnt even need to trim my pubes! now this is a MAN 

so we talked on his bed for most of the night. we talked about drag race (he has bad opinions on it though he hates all the messy iconic queens! like he doesnt like nina or trinity smh) and overwatch and ff and kh and also some more personal stuff. and he has anxiety too! which is good bc now i dont have to worry as much about my anxiety being a burden like i had to do with c*leb. he also told me about some of his past relationships which i will get to later bc i was not happy about this

 at one point we sat on his couch bc he wanted to show me all the playbills for the shows hes been to/been a part of. i do not care for theatre stuff but i still enjoyed it bc he seemed really excited to show off all his playbills lol. he also gave me his mcat book since he doesnt need it since hes already taken it and gotten an acceptable score lol

so we cuddled some more (hes a REALLY good cuddler btw omg) and we did some touching and kissing and oral obv and then we fell asleep. and this was like one of my fave parts omg i looooooooved falling asleep with him and waking up with him. it was such a cute first date! he did leave like 3 hickeys on me though :/

so then i had to leave and go back home to go to my cousins baptism party. it was boring but it wasnt as bad as it couldve been bc joel kept texting me all day telling me he missed me and stuff which was cute 

then he invited me over again that night. so towards the end of the party he was like “btw my friends and i just started watching rent live so take your time bc youll prob get here during the middle of it” and i was like ok that is not happening bc i was not about to sit there and hang out w him and his friends that i dont know at all bc i am not repeating my third date with caleb. so i really took my time and watched the newest drag race. then i got there around midnight again

so we went into his room and he was playing kh 2.8 but we turned it off and we played mariokart on the switch instead! 10th grade me WISHES he was current me omg it was super fun even though he beat me almost every time lol. then we went in bed and did the usual. but this is where a problem started. so we were kissing and touching and stuff and i accidentally moaned calebs name AJKSFADSJFAEJKF i felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad 

he was like “what was that?” and i was like “what?” and he was like “what did you say?” and i was like “nothing” and he was like “it sounded like you said caleb” so then i apologized like a million times lol he said it was ok as long as it didnt happen again. but still i felt sooooo bad about it. i apologized again later on in the night and he said its ok and not to dwell on it lol. idek why i said it bc joel is more attractive than caleb both in terms of looks and personality. i had the same problem when i was with caleb too smh whenever i was w caleb i had to fight the urge to say freddies name. so yeah that was the one mistake ive made so far

so then i tried to make it up to him by sucking his dick. then i also ate his ass and fingered him. now THAT made me horny omg eating his ass was so much fun and his hole was so pretty and fingering him was super fun too! he was nice and tight and he was REALLY enjoying it which made me like it even more! so then i basically fingered him while sucking his dick/jerking him off until he came and it was honestly a religious experience omg he looked SO hot

then we fell asleep again lol but this time i had to wake up earlier bc i had work. work was good bc i got 3 credit cards and my manager sarah was happy about it. but i got SOOOO angry towards the end like we closed at 7 and a whole crowd of people came in at 6:55 and the line was so long even after we closed and when i finally got my last customer she ended up being the most difficult one of the day i hated herrrrrr omg she had like a million returns all w dif receipts and it was even more annoying bc we have to put away the returns along w the go backs after closing so she just gave me even more work to do

then on sunday joel said we shouldnt hang out that night bc we needed to pace ourselves. i was fine w that bc obv i missed him but logically speaking going slow is prob the best thing to do so we dont burn out too quickly. he did text me a lot that night though lol he was not afraid to tell me how much he missed me lol it was cute. then on monday afternoon i saw my therapist and told her all about my new thing w joel and i talked about the doubts i had about it and we had a v good session!

then came last night/today. so this time i got there around like 9pm. i was happy bc it was so easy driving on the parkway this time i was like wow this is actually kinda fun but then i had so much trouble finding parking smh like i can never just have one completely good drive! so i got there and said hi to 2 of his roommates who were in the living room/kitchen area. we went into his room and we watched finding dory and it was so cute! i prob wouldnt have enjoyed it by myself but it was fun watching it while cuddling w him. then there was like a centipede type thing on his ceiling and i was about to die omg he sprayed it w lysol and it fell but he couldnt find it so he thought it would die soon but then later on in the movie it touched his foot and i had to get away while he killed it for good. then later that night when we were in bed there was another bug on his wall smh but this one was easy for him to kill

after the movie he pulled up these youtube videos from this dance show his schools theatre honor society did and made me watch all the songs w him in them. it was honestly really boring im not gonna lie akjfhadshfkfskdjabhd but it was nice seeing him dance and stuff i guess. there was one point where there was a guy in the performance and he was like “oh he had such a nice ass, when i first saw him i was like whoa” like...once again ok caleb like that is not really information i needed to hear. or when this other guy was in the performance and he was like “oh he was my roommate that year, he was one hot piece of ass” like again i really do not need to hear this

then we went in his bed and it was nice! i ate his ass again and this time he ate my ass as well and i ended up cumming this time and i started like laughing uncontrollably after i came idk why lol but it was fun. we fell asleep and this time we could sleep in so it was nice. we kept waking up and kissing and cuddling and stuff. we ended up getting up for real at like 2pm. then he wanted to watch friends so we did that and then he played overwatch while i watched and cuddled him and touched his belly. then we were just laying in bed again and then i had to go back home for dinner. he offered me cereal or oatmeal when he had a bagel for breakfast but im not comfortable eating in front of him yet and i also hate imposing on people so i lied and said i wasnt hungry even though i was starving ashjfadkfhdskjn

so now for the bad parts. so like joel has not shown any signs of being anything but completely 100% interested in me and he has shown no signs of stopping soon yet i cant stop feeling like he just likes me now bc this is new and then he’ll get bored and leave when he gets to know me better. bc thats basically what caleb did and like i have no proof that joel will do it too but i cant get over the feeling unfortunately :/ like honestly out of our 3 dates so far i was kinda tempted to just cancel and then never talk to him again for 2 of them just to end things now so it doesnt get messy later. but my therapist said im not psychic so i shouldnt try to predict the future without any evidence so i am trying to just push the feeling to the back of my mind

now for my next issue: our relationship status. so joel said when we first talked on scruff that he didnt want a relationship but his actions have said otherwise. like he said he wants to take things slow bc he wants to make this work and he keeps saying he wants me to be his and stuff like that and he seems v interested in me beyond just as a friend w benefits. so idk what exactly he wants bc even if he changes his mind and wants to be bfs w me idk if i want to bc i dont want to make him feel “suppressed” again like he said about his past relationship history. so yeah as of now im not taking it too seriously and am just trying to enjoy myself without really thinking of how our situation is going to develop

now for my next issue: his past relationships. he told me the one time he like REALLY fell in love w a guy was w this online long distance relationship. this relationship actually ended very badly for him. but the issue to me is how it began. joel said he met this online guy WHILE he (joel) already had a boyfriend and that he developed feelings for this online guy while he was still w his bf at the time. he said he felt bad about it which is nice i guess. but the way i see it is that if he did this once he can very well do it again and i dont want to be the current boyfriend when that happens. like i honestly cant relate at all bc im the type who doesnt even really check out other guys when im currently bfs w someone. not everyone is like this obv so i cant be mad at him if hes the type to still be attracted to other men. but like, to actually develop feelings for someone else (and not just have it be a physical attraction) while currently bfs w someone? that is just disgusting imo and when he told me this i told him like im ngl thats messed up. so yeah that makes me even more hesitant to be in a relationship w him since he might meet another guy when hes with me and fall in love with him instead. so yeah this is just another thing to note in the back of my mind

and now for something i have mixed feelings about. on sunday he texted me to let me know he deleted all his dating apps yesterday bc he wanted to to focus on pursuing me and he wanted to be preemptive about it bc he didnt want to have any “temptations.” honestly it was cute at first but then i went to delete mine and looked on scruff and it said he was online 10 hours ago but he said he deleted it yesterday! so i asked him about it and he was like “oh yeah i redownloaded them this morning just to check them one last time” like ????????? honestly it was just funny to me bc like why did he tell me deleted his dating apps like it was some big thing if he was just gonna redownload them the next day nnnnnnnnn and like he didnt tell me about the redownloading part so he just wanted me to believe he deleted them yesterday? like idgi what was the point of that lol i think he wanted to do something to look sweet but it just ended up backfiring lmao. also he said he deleted the apps but he didnt delete his profiles so idk what to make of that but honestly i really dont care ive known this guy for 5 days afhkjafkhdaskn it was just kinda funny to me

but this next part is worrisome. its what he said about resisting tempations. like it wouldve been fine if he just said like “i am pursuing you so theres no reason for me to still be on dating apps” but like saying he “didnt want any tempations” so its like...hes admitting that its possible for him to be tempted? like as i said im not tempted by other guys at all like if i am with a man it is just him and only him for me. so idk again it seemed like he was trying to gain points w me by saying that but it just made me even more suspicious. again im not making too much of a big deal over it bc its not that serious yet but its just something for me to keep in my mind bc my therapist said this is the stage where i should be doing research and making note of things that could be red flags and stuff. so *tiffany pollard voice* ive been doing a little research

like it doesnt seem THAT bad on its own but when you combine the temptations thing w his past relationship history stuff it does make it seem like its very possible for him to show so much interest in me now and get with me only to decide he likes another guy more. so yeah for these reasons i am not putting too much stock into whatever we have rn bc im not quite sure yet whether i want to pursue a relationship with him

and i have one more thing. as ive mentioned before joel is good at EVERYTHING. he is good at orgo, playing a bunch of instruments, choreography, makeup, studying, video games, staying on top of his career goals, cooking, and he has a higher gpa than me. i am trying not to be competitive but its honestly really fucking annoying that he is better than me at literally everything! like i wish i just had one thing i could beat him at. i dont want to let it get to me but regardless of how i want to feel the fact of the matter is that i dont like it when people are better than me at anything in general, so when someone is better than me at like everything it REALLY gets on my nerves

and another thing. like all 3 of our dates so far have just been us two alone in his room. i have yet to see how good we are together in like social situations. like w caleb we got along perfectly fine when we were alone just hanging out but the problems started w like going out and doing social things like that. so i need to see what his needs are socially and how compatible our lifestyles are before i can fully devote myself bc if he has the same needs as caleb i most likely wont be able to keep up which will put a strain on the relationship

so those are my issues with the situation so far. i said those first bc i wanted to end on a good note! so now i can move on to the good stuff

joel is honestly really really nice and he gives me soooo much attention and he seems very interested in me atm. he loves my appearance AND he loves my personality and for once it seems like we equally enjoy being with each other instead of me liking the other person way more than they like me. and we have so many common interests and like i dont feel nervous at all when im talking to him! and like he misses me soooo much its so cute! and his personality is just like my fave like it just makes me wanna squeeze him! and hes so funny and like its so cute like if i make a joke and he says like get out or leave or something and im like ok and start to get up hes like “no no dont!!!�� and like latches onto me and it is soooooooooo cute. and i literally cannot keep my hands off his hair (and also his ass and tum tbh). and since he lives w his 3 roommates theres no parents to worry about! and he just makes me really happy like i cannot be sad around him and hes so bubbly and he always uses so many heart emojis and calls me nice things like babe and my love and sweetheart and yeah just like he is literally checking off every box rn. all the problems i listed before are somewhat significant but overall i really like him so far so i def want to keep seeing him. and he already lives v close to his school so its not like i need to worry about him leaving anytime soon! and hes really nice like i really liked caleb at first as well (since the problems only really started towards the end of our relationship) but i already like joel way more than i liked caleb! and its nice bc like everyone kept saying when caleb broke up w me that i would find someone way better than him but it was kinda hard to believe at the time but everyone was right! i like joel soooooo much so far and if any guy ive met so far has been boyfriend material its definitely him

[meattick]

i feel like i should feel depressed, but i dont really. im not sure i feel much of anything. i rarely do, except when im depressed, or with other people. do other people feel this way when theyre alone?

i havent started counting calories again, but i have been trying to limit them. 400 cal at lunch, 80 cal for snack, no idea for dinner. i tried not to let that bother me. i tried to enjoy my veggie burger on a homemade brioche bun with mustard and pickles. i guess i did, at first. maybe another 60 cal for my tea with soy milk and rum. im almost out, i didnt have as much in the flask as i thought, and E doesnt have any more. ill have to swallow my pride and ask her to buy me some, maybe. tell her im off my medication anyway.

thats not too much of a lie. i only took one dose today. not on purpose, really. the time came and went and it was too late in the day if i wanted to sleep at a reasonable hour. its half past midnight now, so i guess that didnt work. ive been having headaches since the dose increase, too. and i realized i cant focus on things unless im active. i kept zoning out on the freeway unless i sang along to my music, i couldnt just have it on as background noise. i texted dr. d about it, and she replied at 10 asking further questions, but i decided to leave my response till tomorrow. she said she might call, and i didnt want to talk so late. i need to call the seattle psych back. it almost seems stupid, since ill be back in santa cruz in the fall. no matter what ill have to find a new psych though, since my school insurance will run out at the start of the year, since im taking time off.

i wonder if im doing the right thing, taking time off. i wonder if thats just my self doubt talking. i was miserable, doing online school, even when i had people around me. i dont think i liked it much in high school, either, but i dont remember. i mustve, since i was so desperate to go to north. i just dont want to put everything on hold i guess, and i want to keep learning. maybe ill feel better once i get a job. i have an interview on thursday, but i doubt theyll hire me once i tell them i wont be sticking around after the summer. i could just not tell them, i guess, but that doesnt feel right. i do need money though. if i want to move. if i want a car. i need a car.

i need cigarettes again. real ones. hand rolled just isnt the same. i wonder if dylan agrees.

i wonder how skye is. i could reach out. i really should have, when she left. any time after that. now. i just dont know what id do if i found out she isnt around anymore. maybe its better not to know. or maybe its better to find out and deal with the answer.

i dont want to think about that. when i thought newt had killed themselves... i mean, i cried for a full hour before they texted back. i was so worried, felt so guilty for not having been awake to do something about it. i dont think i can ever forgive mac. even if they forgive him, i wont. i dont care if it turns out it was paranoia or mania or whatever. you dont treat friends like that. you dont treat anyone like that.

i need another drink, maybe a cigarette.

[hiddenscars98]

Sometimes what feels like the end, might just be the beginning....

Sometimes, what is a nightmare for us now, can open up doors to lead us to our dreams.

I guess i should kind of start from the beginning, or rather somewhere in the middle. If youve been following my blog for a while, you know that ive been out of therapy for a little while after a recent move across the country. Therapy is hard for me in general because i tend to keep things inside, and find it very difficult to trust someone and open up. So after moving i did not change to a new therapist just because i didnt think i was ready. I thought it only made sense to wait until i felt ready to get into the shit of my life and work through what needed to be dealt with. My veiw is that if I am not ready, i can be in therapy for 10 years, but aint notin goina happen.

In addition, i am on anti depressants to treat my severe depression. I was seeing a psychiatrist in my old place, but after moving, i figured i would wait until i would finish my medication and need a new prescription to find a new one.

Well, things seem to be working out differently than planned.

Last week, i landed myself in the hospital. I was having suicidal thoughts for a while, it was really messing with my brain, but i managed not to act on them. But it came a day last week where i was feeling especially shitty. I have sleeping pills which i take every night, and feeling desperate to just stop the thoughts, and numb my pain, i began swallowing the pills, planning on finishing the bottle. After a nice amount of pills, i had this realization that as much as i was afraid to live, i was even more afraid to die. Realizing what i was doing, i began experiencing trouble breathing. Thats when my mom found me. Imediately, she checked my pulse, and called an ambulance. The paramedics came, hooked me up to an EKG, and monitered me, while making a couple of phone calls. They spoke with posion control and it was clear, i would be rushed to the emergency room. I dont really remember what happened next, because my world went black. I passed out, and pretty much remained unconscious until much later on, in the hospital. The rest i know only from what I was told. We were on the way to one hospital, but my heart rate dropped too low so the ambulance had to rush to a closer hospital to stabilize me. I was brought into the emergency room and imediately hooked up to an EKG and an IV for fluid. They took some blood from me, and then ran all the necessary tests (im not sure exactly what, being that i was still under) i woke up after midnight, and was transferred to a room in the crisis unit. The psychiatric crisis unit is probably the least pleasurable part of the hospital. Before being transferred, they strip you completely of everything you have. I didnt have anything on me being that they already changed me into hospital scrubs when i was brought into the emergency room. But i did have a fuzzy blanket that was keeping warm and feeling safe that was taken away. The rooms, just like in the psych ward, are completely bare. All there was, was a bed. NOTHING ELSE. There isnt even allowed to be a garbage can in the room, for fear that patients may harm themselves, or others with it. Of course though, there is a video camera for round the clock security.

The crisis unit is where a patient is placed when brought to the emergency room because of potential harm to themselves or others. Basically what happens in this unit, you will be questioned by a couple of psychiatrists as to what happened, why it happened, if you ever had suicidal or homicidal thoughts, wether you are having worrisome thoughts at that moment......you get the idea. As with everything in hospitals, you are asked the same questions so many times i thought i might give those answers next time i was asked my name.

When i was asked those questions, i should have answered honestly, but i didnt. Knowing that telling the truth about the thoughts going on in my head would land me in the psych ward, a very uncomfortable situation, i answered all the right things with the hope that thatll get me discharged. I told them i was not trying to kill myself, all I wanted was to sleep, i was tired. I hoped that they would let me go and i can just leave and put all this in the past. But that was not the case, after trying to convince me to get admitted to the psych ward, they made a deal. I would be able to leave, if i promised to meet with a team back at home. I promised, of course. And 48 hours after i was admitted, i left.

My story isnt over yet, i still havent met witb anyone, but i know that i will have to take care of that soon. Laying in bed today, i realized, that this is going to be extremely uncomfortable for me, but it is something that has to happen if i truly want to live. Right now, i am merely surviving, i am staying afloat, but headed nowhere. Right now, i do not see a future, but i hope that although this may not be the most pleasant way to be forced to take action to heal my pain, maybe this will help me to shed the darkness of the past and shine light on the future, bringing me closer toward a happy and successful life

I would like to take this opportunity to thank my dear friends on Tumblr who are always there to support me and give me some love. Thank you!!! I will keep you posted💕💕💕

[jess-oh]

Reflection

i need to stop getting distracted and procrastinating and “treating myself” bc i’ve been doing that way too often

i really want to just chat with someone rn. idk why im so hyper so late at night. i think staying up late is one of the things i define myself by. i almost dont want to sleep before midnight bc that ruins my character. no, not almost. i dont. straight up.

im just gonna try and write a quick thing here before getting back to homework. i think another thing is i know that i dont have a lot of homework to do do im avoiding my homework so that i have an excuse to stay up later. shoot. this is a deeper psychological problem. even when given the opportunity to sleep early, i dont take it. i think i just really need to ask myself if it’s worth it. to be losing sleep. to not be so in control. to have poor memory. and i know im writing these things in an effort to convince myself that i should make more of an effort to sleep earlier but i also know that im too stubborn for that and will probably just continue to sleep late but this doesnt define me! i do want to sleep earlier. there are so many other things that define who i am and theyre actually healthy. im just making life so much harder for myself by purposely staying up so late all the time.

i also want to make more of an effort to be more aware of other people’s feelings. i think i do speak without thinking sometimes and i dont realize how it’s affecting those around me. today, i remember i mentioned how i was so relieved to have gotten 100% on my graphic design project while my friend got a 64% and i didnt know how to respond. i do think i was bragging a bit but i really was proud of myself. i just set a really high bar for myself and feel bad when i dont reach it. but thinking in his shoes, i have struggled in the past. and being in an environment with pro graphic designer and me, a novice, it did feel like my best was never good enough a lot of the time. and i dont want anyone else to feel like that bc it really does suck. theres no way around that. John kept complaining again today and I could hear that he was a bit proud of his friendship with me and i just didnt have the heart to tell him that i didnt want to take graphic design classes with him next semester bc he’s been a burden to me lately. i dont want to keep taking care of you bc youre holding me back from doing more. i am your friend and will continue to be but im tired of babysitting you and spoonfeeding you all the time. i wish you the best of luck in your endeavors but please, dont sign up for the same classes as me. i know he isnt going to actually sign up until way later and im just gonna hope that his schedule wont work out with mine. and if not, it’s just 2 classes that im in with him. how bad could that be? right? i hope? i dont know if i should say something or not bc i dont want to be a bitch about it and i know hes going to talk hella smack about me and be mad at me but honestly, im not going to back down from this decision. bc it’s how i feel. and if it’s gonna cost me our friendship, then maybe it wasnt meant to be in the first place. im a blunt person and i will do and take what i want. and i dont think this is just a case of me being overly selfish. he literally made someone else do the classwork for him today bc he was “bad” at it. he didnt even try. he just complained the whole time. and i tried to call him out on it  but he also gets so defensive about it and comes up with a plethora of excuses. you cant live your whole life blaming the world for who you are.

finally, i was a bit touched today bc my dad messaged me, asking if i could come home for thanksgiving. he seems to really miss me, hehehe. he was even so willing as to sell his old macbook pro to help fund my homecoming and i felt so bad bc i really dont think im deserving of that much love and sacrifice. i eventually convinced him that itd be better for everyone i just came home for winter and not at all during thanksgiving. but i also just felt really shitty bc i didnt feel as bad as i wanted to feel. i was def taking it for granted and i dont want to do that. ive been getting more and more spoiled recently bc ive been getting what i want, when i want without having to think of the consequences. i think it’s bc i have the luxury of being able to freely choose what i want to sacrifice. i would rather starve than to get a bad grade. i would rather go days without clean hair so that i can eat. my priorities are all out of place. and i know that but i also dont know how to fix it. 

i also miss my free talks with andrew. i think im a lot more nervous now. i was blunt with him earlier and he actually responded positively to it, phew. but, yeah, idk. i think it’s in part to just time and us growing apart and hanging out in person and now being so many miles apart from each other. but it’s definitely different from before and idk if that’s a good or bad thing. i get that we’re both busy people but i dont think i consider him my “best friend” anymore which is a bit disheartening. we just grew apart. and thats that. and i am genuinely happy that hes doing better mentally and emotionally and im more than happy to be here for him. i think we’re just trying to figure our own shit out as we continue to grow but i also feel like theres this block or barrier that wasnt there before. and now im a bit afraid to say or do certain things around him. and i do want to feel free with him but i dont. not anymore at least. and it sucks. but i also dont think it’s his fault at all and i definitely dont blame him for that. it’s just.. what it is, i guess.

[paperok4-blog]

Rift Chapter-4

Gordon Throws A Temper Tantrum

-Cera-

If we hadn’t jumped into a pit to another world, if Kim hadn’t got poisoned, if Kim wasn’t possessed by a crazy spirit, if I wasn’t completely split up from Thomas and Kim then I might’ve been mildly happy.  But no I was sitting at a table with two weird guys, and one of them probably wanted me dead

“He`ll be back” Ace took a bite out of his ham without cheese sandwich “he ran off to get me a sandwich”

“Why would he leave when I told him to wait here?” I snapped at him “and you didn’t help matters when you came in here attacking us” Ace shrugged “now he's out there and the sun is going down, and were just sitting around!”

“if I hadn’t taken that demon bitch down she would’ve killed both of you, “Ace tossed his sandwich and it made a splat as it hit the floor “maybe I should’ve just let her”

“calm yourself Ace after this girl explains everything she knows about what happened, you will explain your coming here then we will head out and locate Thomas” he knows, he knows about Kim and the spirit, as long as I’ve known Kim she complained about a voice in her head making her do things. I tried to get her to tell the house parents or her therapist but she wouldn’t. Awhile after the Stranders adopted us Kim developed her ‘ability’ telekinesis just toys, moving them around but by the time we were twelve she could lift me more than ten feet into the air with ease. We`d managed to keep her ability secret up until now when she put Gordon through a wall. It took me a second to realize both Gordon and Ace were staring at me

“What was that?” I glanced between them nervously

“I said how long has that girl been able to use magic?” Ace growled I looked at the three plates on the table, Thomas was the only one who ate his waffles, Kim was too self-conscious about the cuts on her arm to expose them and I just wasn’t hungry

“About six years now” I admitted, the two of them shared a look of frustration but something told me it wasn’t directed at me

“we need to find that girl and check her out” Ace said “ we cant have news getting out about a Primion using our magic especially with things as bad as they already are” for once Ace seemed dead serious, it didn’t suit him, his grey eyes were locked with Gordon`s. I felt like I was missing a conversation

“we`ll have plenty of time to find her after we get Cera and her brother back to Primum” Gordon his finger across the table then looked at it as if he expected it to be dusty “Karen will be able to locate him” they stared at each other a few seconds longer then Ace spoke again

“But still, it’s Lord Fasper” Ace seemed very interested in his sandwich on the floor, I half expected him to teleport over to it and lick it off the floor,

“What about him?” Gordon asked seeming unconcerned

“he's been assassinated” after a few seconds of silence, Gordon roared his powerful voice seemed to blow me away wait that wasn’t it, it was probably the fact that he brought his fist down on the table with all of his might. The force of the impact sent me rolling across the floor toward the room we kept Kim in

“Calm down!” Ace was in the kitchen now I guess he teleported

“First I find three Primions then one of them uses our magic!” Gordon stood up, grabbed the chair he was in and threw it at the wall, the chair broke into pieces “and at the same time Fasper is killed!” he continued his rampage punching the on wall. It seemed to last forever there was now another massive hole in the wall

“Gordon!” Ace made his way toward Gordon “this isn’t going to fix anything we have to get rid of these Primions as soon as possible” I didn’t like how Ace said that but I knew Gordon wouldn’t let him hurt us

“Gordon” I decided to speak up “we have to find my brother, please calm down” Gordon stopped

“You are right” Gordon turned to face us, his eyes full of tears “one thing” his red eyes locked on mine “has she been here before, the girl Kim has she been to this world before?” I was tempted to simply say yes, but I decided against it

“No,” I lied “now how are we going to find Thomas” Ace appeared right beside me

“Weren’t you listening?” Ace laughed “were going to Karen’s place in the morning, she can find that little twerp no matter he's trying to find me a sandwich at.” I really hoped that sandwich thing was just a joke, if Thomas ran out on his own to get this bastard a sandwich, damnit just the thought of something so stupid made me want to vomit

“But shouldn’t we go now!” I demanded, “what if he dies out there?” I stopped when I saw their expressions, Gordon did not seem up to any kind of argument and Ace didn’t seem to care, if he did, he showed no sign of it

“Get some rest” Gordon’s words were almost inaudible, that was it they didn’t care if Thomas lived or died they had their own problems. My fists clenched it seems I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands

“Gordon,” I glanced around the room making sure the answer to my question wasn’t obvious “where do you have the water I can drink? I'm thirsty” Gordon nodded

“Follow me, and you Ace do not go anywhere I still have a lot to discuss with you” Gordon led me down a hallway there were about four doors and on the end a fifth door, we stopped on the second door to the left

“They’re stocked in here” Gordon unlocked the door “the next door over is a bedroom, you can spend the night there, the first door is a bathroom” he turned to walk away it was depressing to see him like this but I had to speak up

“Hey Gordon” he stopped

“Yes Cera” Gordon didn’t bother turning around

“Why did you stock up on this kind of water? Were you expecting someone from my world to come here?”After I finished I realized I should have asked how he got the water but I didn’t

“That’s not important” then Gordon walked away. I opened the door; behind it were crates of aquafina water bottles, I took three and carried them down to the door Gordon pointed out as a bedroom. If I hadn’t found the bag my plan probably wouldn’t have worked, it was by the bed, the room was strikingly similar to the room Kim was in. I sat on the bed, after drinking almost a whole bottle of water I picked up the bag, and emptied its contents onto the bed. A few bags of chips a pocketknife, and a card. I picked up the card and read it over

You think you have what it takes?

Show off your magical abilities to Vianna herself, and you might be lucky enough to be taken as a pupil.

June 18 starting 9:00 Am

@ The Lime gardens

Wow okay, isnt that tomorrow? I turned the card over it showed a woman wielding two samurai swords hovering in the air. I stuck the card in my pocket for no real reason, then checked out the pocketknife, it had a wood design. I flicked the blade and ran the edge against my finger the blade was kindve dull just leaving a red line across my finger. Kim taught me how to throw her bowie knife but that was all I could really do with it and I doubted this would do much damage to anything but stuck it my pocket anyways. I searched the room for anything else I could find all I got were a few old shirts under the bed one was plain yellow, the second had snowflakes, and the third had a single diagonal white stripe on a black background. I tucked the third one in my bag and left the others, I went out to the ‘water closet’ and stuck ten more bottles in my bag. Thomas will not last long without water; he had better not drink any of the natural water.  I looked at the clock on the nightstand, it was 12:57 way past midnight, I was kindve glad this world was so similar to the world I came from, months and time. I snuck down the hall I was not sure where Gordon was sleeping but no one was in the kitchen when I got there, I made my way to the fridge expecting Gordon to be anywhere I looked mourning pitifully but he wasn’t. I opened the fridge and stashed some nonperishables in my bag, then I closed the fridge as quietly as possible then snuck out through the hole in the wall that Kim put Gordon through I guess I should say yesterday since its past twelve.  Then I took off into the night

https://www.booksie.com/471581-rift