#this isnt hate btw just a personal observation lmao

[unagrancantidaddepanes]

HI THIS ISNT DIRECTED AT ME AND IDK IF THE PERSON RESPONDED YET AND IM NOT SUPER GOOD AT FRENCH AND I DONT KNOW WHO THESE PEOPLE EVEN ARE LMAO BUT THIS IS DEFINIETLY SINGULAR AND I WANTED TO ADD A BIT MORE !!! if i am just talking absolute bollocks, real french speakers pls come and correct me for anything wrong 😭❤️

je ne veux pas means 'i dont want' but i feel like MAYBE that phrasing is a little interesting, because you could also say 'je ne veux', meaning the same thing. im only vaguely familiar with how this works in french but ive always seen it as something similar that exists in spanish, where you would normally say 'te odio' ('i hate u' lol, te meaning you and odio being the i (first person) form of the verb hate) but if you wanted to had more force and deeper emotion you could say 'yo te odio' (yo = i, te = you, odio = i hate), its a bit hard to explain but thinking about it ig its exactly like how in english we normally say 'dont do that' but when were feeling really angry and want to emphasise what were saying with more serious emotional weight we say 'do not do that' ('do not' instead of 'dont'). in this case, its 'ne veux' vs 'ne veux pas'. i think this is less extreme with french, and maybe its just because its in a book/comic so maybe that would make sense if things were just written a little more 'properly', but to me 'je ne veux pas' instead of just 'je ne veux' sounds like its emphasising a deeper care for whoever this is and that theyr really worried about loosing them, i assume this is about some ship idk lol. its defiently not a lot since i dont think this distinction is at all as extreme in french, i think both are pretty commonly interchanged(?), but this line seems to hold more emotional weight than it COULD have, is basically what im saying. its more like.... vibes ???? 😭 idk im not good at french yet its just what ive observed from interacting with the language, i could just be wrong dfhkdjfhkj ALSO I JUST NOTICED THE ITALICIZED EXCLIMATION POINT ? yeah this guy is def really worried about loosing whoever this other person is, they should kiss or soemthing

i also know a french speaker too soo ill tag them and see what they think about about this 👍 @estellicss

anyways yeah this is def singular btw, 'te perdre' means 'loose you', te being a VERY SPECIFICALLY singular way of saying you, they are absolutely addressing just one person with this

Btw i’d like to note that in the official french translation, this sentence got switched from plural to singular. As in, Chilchuck’s saying « I dont want to lose you » the you here being Laios, alone.

So there’s that.

[ikusayu-no-hana]

ngl i took -1000 damage when i saw a favourite fic author recently post for my notp

[saltbaes]

Didn't you have an AU that was like GMW as children of The 100??! I know I didn't imagine that lol what happened to it? Gimme the deets, Feli. Gimme the feels. Gimme all the Murven, Bellarke and Rucas. GIMME.

i did but it was a looooong time ago and it wasnt a fic it was more of an edit thingy lol all i remember from it was that i made riley bellarke’s daughter which i still stand by btw !!!

but now that i’m actually into the show and murven is my #1 ship i have some more thoughts – here me out tia……. lucas as murven’s son. 

the rest will be under the cut cause….this is a long one haha.

anyway i realize this means having to racebend lucas (and riley) which i’m 100% down for – a latino lucas friar? um hi yes sign me tf up amirite ?!

and then i found out that blake jenner is half cuban and i had a galaxy brain moment cause i mean, look at him

THIS IS MURVEN’S SON. THIS IS LUCAS FRIAR MURPHY. ^

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okay so: murven never really talked about having children, theyre both pretty traumatized from their childhoods so the thought of bringing a child into a post apocalyptic world seemed…illogical? or at least thats what raven points out one night when theyre laying in bed and murphy’s like ‘so, no rugrats?’ and raven simply offers a ‘probably not’ and thats the end of that discussion. 

but see…the thing about raven is she’s observant especially of the man she loves – he’s never once pushed her to have children or even discusses having them after their one conversation, but she sees the way he interacts with the kiddos in their ‘community’ and how he took monty’s son under his wing, she sees how surprisingly good he is with children and it plants a little seed in her mind and suddenly the thought of having a family of her with the man she loves  doesnt seem so illogical after all

needless to say lucas is conceived shortly after.

lucas “friar” murphy is the perfect mix of his parents: he’s an intelligent, hands on, loyal fighter like his mother and a snarky, sarcastic, survivor like his father… he hates that people base their behavior towards him on how much or little they like his parents (specifically, his dad) his nickname “friar” was given to him as a joke when he was a child due to his unwavering devotion to whatever cause they were fighting at the time – lucas struggles with being his own person, he doesnt want to be seen as a raven or murphy 2.0, he just wants to be himself but he’s afraid that might not be enough for some people… 

___

as for bellarke, in my mind, their daughter riley would look something like this:

THIS IS BELLARKE’S DAUGHTER. THIS IS RILEY BLAKE. ^

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riley might have bellamy’s olive complexion and brown hair/eyes but everything else is all clarke – she’s headstrong, determined, dependable, intelligent, fair, selfless, caring, and loyal to a fault just like her mom (she also has her lips, chin, nose, mannerisms and even her beauty mark but thats beside the point lol) HOWEVER where riley differs the most from both of her parents is her naivety and relentless optimism. 

riley, unlike her parents, is extremely trusting of everyone she meets and more often than not it’s the reason behind all of her arguments with her parents and older sister madi – they just want her to be safe and riley just wants to prove to them that good people do exist despite you just have to give them a chance to prove that they can be good – clarke and bellamy are like ‘lol no’ 

___

ANYWAY as for the rucas of it all -- 

a new big bad something or another shows up posing a threat to them because of course it does this is the 100 after all and lucas is very much “must kill them before they kill us” and riley is very much “lets talk it out” and its the whole “wolves eat sheep” tlk from wot3 in gmw

lucas basically is like ??????? where are your survival skills????????????? how are you still alive rn??? 

and rileys just like ???????? youre a misunderstood soul who needs a friend to see you for who you really are

 and lucas is like !!!! accurate af but i’ll never ever admit that also how dare you

basically lucas is absolutely in love with her lmao joking but not really

their dynamic is a little reminiscent of s1 bellarke where theyre forced to work together for the greater good but its also reminiscent of murven where murphy is clearly enamored by raven but wouldnt dare speak it aloud, lucas is a pining from afar kinda guy just like his dad, he feels like he isnt worthy of riley so he does his best to keep his distance but of course it fails because riley sees right through him and its the first time he feels seen and its just

ugh i love them

also how cute, bellarke and murven being eventual in laws hahahaha

also also i realize how niche this au is for anyone who is reading this and has no idea who rucas is or worst, doesnt ship them but does ship bellarke and murven lol

sorry not sorry

look at how beautiful they are together -- wow, we stan. 

OH YEA FORGOT TO MENTION NONE OF THOSE GIFS ^ ARE MINE -- FOUND THEM ON GOOGLE AND AM BY NO MEANS TRYING TO TAKE CREDIT FOR THEM, JUST USING THEM AS AN EXAMPLE THATS ALL OKAY BYEEEEE.

[curioussubjects]

Non-jittery Thoughts on 15.01

Alright, had some time too calm the hell down, so I could have thoughts beyond a keysmash and a crying emoji. Chances are, too, that I’ll have more to say once I sit down with the episode again. Had to get these initial reactions/musings out of the way first.

This episode did a bang up job setting up the personal plot points for tfw. I’m super excited to see where this is going: Dean’s hell trauma revisited, Sam’s wound and its connection to his own darkness, Cas still struggling with belonging, Dean and Cas’s continuous wrongfootedness coming to a head. It’s going to be a killer of a season emotionally, and I am Here. For. It. 

Full disclosure: the biggest chunk is destiel related. In my defense, Dabb & co. didn’t have to enable me, but here we are.

More thoughts under the cut. 

General Thoughts:

My hype was not squashed! We got a really strong season opener and I’m so happy about it. Sure, we got running ghosts. But overall the episode was incredible; just a solid SPN episode all around. A+ job and kudos to all involved ♥♥♥

The new title card is gorgeous and full of meta potential goodness. See this post for more on that; op hit it on the head I think. For additional analysis, there’s this post from different op that is killer.

Opening sequence with tfw fighting zombie ghosts and running for shelter? Amazing. Showstopping. Breathtaking. 

Dean’s grief over Jack that’s embroiled in his grief for Mary. Just. “He was our kid.” That’s some complicated shit right there. 

Gotta love all the tidbits hinting at what is to come during 15.a, at the very least, if not the larger goal of the season. Reading y’all’s thoughts on the episode has been great so far, and I can’t wait to see what else crops up this week.

                                                              //

On Sam: Currently, Sam’s role in the more interesting aspects of the plot continue to not quite match Dean’s, which has been a problem for a while. I’m seriously hoping that changes some with Eileen’s return, Rowena coming in with some banter maybe next week, and whatever weird curse Sam got with that bullet wound. I’m loving the potential and I’m loving the prospect of having Sam brought back to the center of the plot. I missed some more emotional involvement from him this episode, too, but that should be addressed once things calm down and Sam and Dean can debrief. However, we got peak Sam in a crisis and it’s always a treat to see him do his job. Bless. Him telling the clown to shut up made my night. I love him so much. 

                                                               //

On Belphegor: First off, Alex did such a fantastic job. I giggled a ridiculous amount. Instantly invested in the character as bringer of shenanigans. Was not disappointed. Quick deliciously meta tidbits about Belphegor, some of which may not feature in the show, but are still *chef’s kiss* (x):

Moabite deity responsible for fertility and sexual power (in case the ep wasn’t clear on that lmao)

was worshiped in the form of a phallus (so glad that made it to canon jfc)

is a fallen angel??? hello???

he’s the demonic embodiment of sloth, BUT specifically negligence and apathy (i am screaming isnt negligence the whole ordeal with dean and cas atm...and apathy was the problem with jack’s soulessness) 

rules misogyny and licentious men (yeah ok no wonder he was a fan of younger dean oof)

the juiciest: emerged from hell to investigate marriage among humans (and is conveniently in the peanut gallery of dean and cas’s fight. funny how that happens. hilarious, even.) 

apparently after living as a man to experience sexual pleasure he was appalled and fled back to hell where sex between men and women wasn’t a thing i’m??? what?? (yet in the show he seemed ok with hot dudes ayy)

I’m glad my “horny on main” observation turned out to be so on point jesus. Can’t help but wonder how long he’s gonna stick around. His outside perspective is amusing, at the very least. However, the fact that he barely interacted with Sam, but was a lot interested in Dean as well as Cas (though to a lesser extent) makes me think that he’s doing more than just deus exing them out of zombies and ghosts or offering hell exposition. Seems like he going to expose SOME OTHER STUFF. ABOUT DEAN (AND CAS?). He is the “Lord of Opening” after all. And isn’t using their words and being honest the thing we’re all waiting for wrt to DeanCas?? There’s some opening up that is necessary posthaste. Listen, I know I’ve been saying they need a marriage counselor, but this is not what I had in mind. Pretty on brand, though, I guess lol

I’m also really interested about the coding work the character is doing in continuing to queer Dean’s characterization. Belphegor being himself associated with (male) sexuality, and the show clearly focusing on his attraction to humans of the man variety. I wouldn’t even call it subtextual at this point as Belphegor’s interaction with Dean in the car to was really overt. My hopes that the show might actually be explicit about Dean’s bisexuality is uhhhh getting high again *confetti.* Should also maybe at least note that using a demon to do this is probs not like the best strategy, but at least said demon was 1. not skeevy and 2. mostly sympathetic to the audience. 

This is all assuming, ofc, that Belphegor is not catfishing tfw (there’s precedence, after all -- and kudos to anon and op for the timely observations). 

                                                                  //

On Dean & Cas: I think it’s really damn telling that so much space was given to their relationship as like the most important thing going on with their characters? Obviously they have individual issues to deal with (their own struggles with Chuck, revisiting Dean’s stint in hell....which btw also eventually involves Cas too so *hands*), but my sweet baby jesus the validation feels good. Onwards. 

We actually have a weird amount to unpack here because, as others have said, the tension between them is coming from more than just Mary and Jack -- though Mary and Jack are absolutely the main stressors atm as well as emblematic of problems they’ve had for a long long time.  

I’m gonna start with Dean because boy do I love that dumbass; I want to shake him. So we have Dean: he’s grieving Mary, he’s angry, he’s scared, he’s lashing out. It’s a Thursday. We know he’s angry with Cas because he blames him for Mary’s death, even if indirectly. You know what that reminds me of? Dean hating Jack for causing Cas’s death, even though it wasn’t directly Jack’s fault. More importantly, though, both the loss of Mary and the loss of Cas were caused by the same catalyst: Cas going off on his own to solve a problem instead of asking Dean (and Sam, but really, mostly Dean) for help. Like, it’s the one thing Dean has very clearly expressed that Cas needs to stop doing (hi 12x19). It’s the same mistake Cas has been making for years. There was a false sense of security there during seasons 13 and most of 14, but alas. Again, here we have Dean losing someone because Cas couldn’t just come ask him for help. Like. It makes sense, and it’s understandable, despite Dean’s coping mechanisms being shit. In short, Dean’s actual problem with Cas is less that Mary is dead and more that Cas refuses to learn his lesson wrt them being stronger as a unit rather than doing their own thing and putting themselves and others in unnecessary danger. 

Meanwhile, we have a continuation of Cas just being really sad and heartbroken because not only is Jack dead, but he’s once again unsure about his standing with Dean. He wants to protect his family, he wants to protect Dean, he wants to come back with a win; once more, he goes off on his own to do it and it blows up in his face somehow. As much as I loved Cas getting mad at the end of last season, I get why he’s somewhat subdued again. He has his guilt and grief and doubt to deal with. He doesn’t want to be mad at Dean probably about as much as he doesn’t want Dean to be mad at him. So far I’m not yet seeing the return of the spark we got when Cas was defending Jack last season, but I’m sure Dean walking out rattled him beyond the hurt. I wanna see what else happens to make him leave “in a huff” (a bit of spec on this further down). That said, what I’m most excited about is seeing how Cas gets reintegrated into the family -- pretty sure that’s universal lol.

The juiciest part now, though: I was all about the interplay of distance and care that we saw between them; let’s pause here for a quick sec to appreciate how that same interplay has been such a central part of Dean and Cas’s relationship since always like ugh. So much of the larger plot points in the show have also been situations that kept them from being truly partners as well as being constant interruptions on their ability to USE THEIR FRIGGIN’ WORDS AAAACK. We give Sam a lot of flack, but everything has awful timing in this show. We’ve had moments of honesty and vulnerability, but they’re always always cut short before we actually get somewhere; before they arrive at a place where they can talk about their issues. If the “are you ok” scene isn’t a perfect microcosm of that idk what is  /sigh

So, yeah, the “Are you ok” scene oooh boy. I wasn’t as excited as some of you at this scene being an example that Dean still cared, as that was never a doubt I had in my mind (it was definitely a yes omg just talk jesus moments nevertheless). Dean couldn’t possibly just turn that shit off, no matter how much he thinks he’s done with Cas. Like, please.  What we do have is Dean indulging on his own need to know that Cas is, at least, immediately fine. Triage, if you will. Him walking off before Cas can either elaborate, or, most likely, tell him about Sam, is peak Dean passive-aggressiveness. The meltdown I had in the tags of a gifset of the scene is still relevant:

 #cas's little sigh of idk relief???#like he's so sad and physically fine but he's SO SAD and heartbroken#and here's dean finally not just being cold to him and ASKING ABOUT HIS WELLBEING#look at cas's face in tht second gif my heart#you can see him gd relax too i cant#and dean has his fucking check in during a break in the chaos face#im so mad#jdhakjsdfhklsd#and then dean just.........walks away and doesnt actually debrief or help or none of the things he would do#and cas is just...there all vulnerable and upset right before he clams up at the demon's quip#but it doesnt even last look at his damn face as he leaves IM SO#somebody hug him#skldjfhklsajdfa#he needs a dean hug#but noooo dean is being a jackass#this is awful#im not ok#i hate it when they fight#im over it that's enough drama dabb i take back everything i said about loving pain

I’ll definitely have more thoughts on this once we have whatever emotional payload next week.

All in all, I’m not actually concerned about the future of their relationship. They’ve been through much, they’ll be fine. I am, though, tickled that we’ll see these key problems in their relationship reach a point where they have to be dealt with. Also: I can’t wait for the catharsis that Cas leaving is bound to elicit. Both for us, the viewers, and the characters. Besides, Dean needs to go to a corner and have a think about his behavior and if pushing Cas away is really what he wants. And then maybe finally we can get that sweet sweet resolution of an affirmation about Cas’s place in Dean’s life. And in turn an affirmation that Cas does trust their family unit enough to depend on them. 

I think we got a good set up in this episode leading into whatever drama we get in the coming weeks. The tension was up to 11. Love it. Hate it. Personally, I think the empty deal might be what does sets off Cas walking out. Somehow, the deal is not a secret anymore. We have here another instance of Cas making a super important decision that affects The Family on his own and then keeping it a secret (to protect Sam and Dean, a pattern). Dean can be angry and think Cas is dead to him all he wants, he will blow tf up when he learns about this deal. Sam isn’t gonna be thrilled either, though he’s more likely to make puppy eyes of sadness and Disappointment than yell at Cas. Seriously, though, I can just see Dean saying some bullshit because he’s just so done and here goes Cas potentially dying again, which in turn will probably piss Cas off. Etc etc. Cue the violins. 

                                                               //

tl;dr: if episode 1 is any indication, we’re in for a wild fucking ride, kiddos. hold onto your butts!!!