#this isnt a defense for him but like. ppl learn to understand complex emotions challenge pls 🙏

[emulation-0]

ok i know nobody here probably cares about marriagetoxin but people's reactions to the latest chapter have really been bothering me and i cant leave my own comment cuz i have to download the stupid app so

ok so everyone's saying "ohhh teruaki got brother-zoned" "happy pride month" "hes gay" "hes just saying that cuz he didnt want hikaru marrying someone else" you guys are not understanding!!!! thats not whats happening!!!

i myself dont really like teruaki i was weirded out by his behavior and i didnt want to understand him or empathize with him but its not that at all and people reducing it to "happy pride" is grinding my gears!!! thats not whats happening!! proof that people dont talk to their families you guys dont get it. he's not angry because hes gay (even if maybe he is). its not even a brother complex thing even tho those kinds of feelings have something to do with it. its cuz he has abandonment issues

hikaru was like the prodigy and whatever and teru was always left behind right. he worked his butt off but he always got left behind and i guess in this kind of clan they cant show kindness to each other but hikaru helped him out and to him as a neglected child it must have seemed like the kindest thing in the world. it must have seemed to him hikaru was actually helping him a lot. and since there was no one else really around he got attached to him and i guess akari idk. mostly hikaru tho

so he worked his butt off trying to get to a place he knew hikaru would be cuz he assumed they would stick together in the clan and he wanted more of this cuz he was neglected. and then he receives news that hikaru is leaving and getting married and in his mind he probably thinks 'oh hes leaving me again' and that probably made him angry cuz that means all the work he did to make sure he could stand in a place he was sure hikaru would be was all for nothing cuz hikaru is leaving anyway. so he really doesnt care about the clan at all deep deep down, that became a priority to justify his feelings. in reality holding the clan as a primary value was more or less an incentive or an excuse to get hikaru to stay with him cuz im guessing teruaki is an only child so he doesnt have siblings that will be there with him. so it doesnt occur to him about hikaru's happiness or that hes getting married to get an heir for the clan. what he sees is that hikaru is leaving him, he'll be all alone, and everything he did and the pain he put himself through was all for nothing. thoughts of the clan became his values because he thought they were hikaru's values and he thought that would get him close to him and fighting hikaru was an outlet for all that anger. he simultaneously wanted to push him away and keep him close and hikaru wasnt understanding so that riled him up.

and ig these conflicting emotions are what makes him go like insane to crying to insane again cuz he himself doesnt understand what he wants here and disguises it with 'come back to the clan!! >:(' he gets close to the root of the issue when he wants hikaru to kill him (cuz if teru lives he would go back to the family and be alone and have to take up the mantle) but thats still not what he really wants. and by now hikaru is starting to understand whats going on here when teru od's and asks him to kill him

so its not that he got brotherzoned, being his brother is probably what teru actually needed the most, an assurance that hikaru was not leaving him, that his (familial!!!!!) love isn't unrequited, and that his efforts werent pointless. and mostly that hes loved and not getting abandoned again. because they were kids back then and hikaru is an adult now and hes still growing. now he sees all of this and just how bad living in that family was affecting teru. so him extending this invitation that 'yes i still love you yes im still going to be here yes i want you in my life' as opposed to teru thinking it was only him who wanted hikaru in his life is what he really needed to hear. its not brother-zoning. and thats why teru is relieved at the end. and like maybe there is some kind of other feelings going on but i dont think theyre truly romantic in nature. i think its kind of like the thing where youre in a bad situation and you meet someone good and you think its love but its really not and that leads to unhealthy attachment. i think its that

but people reducing this conflict to 'teruaki is gay' no!!!!!!!!!! noooooooo theres MORE to it than that!!!!!!!!!!!!! stoppppppppp