#this isn't me saying that criticism of these things is Never Allowed

[viktortittiforov]

yes, philanthropy benefits rich people more than just being billionaires does; that was kind of my point, but that's not a good thing. like. i don't want ultrarich people to even exist, why would i want them to find new ways to benefit from their wealth?

and i really don't understand how from that you get to the point that we should encourage philanthropy because "harm-reduction" and "lasting change". that is quite an argumentative leap, and ignores a large deal of what i said. i never said philanthropy can never do any good, what i said is that in terms of wealth redistribution, it is one of the least ideal ways to go about that, when like, taxation and/or making it impossible for people to even become/be ultrarich (through taxation, legislation, etc) are right there.

this isn't about motives. i don't give a shit why ultrarich people do philanthropy. this isn't about "they're not genuine so therefore anything they do is bad". no, the key point is that philanthropy is an enormously effective way to avoid accountability. it helps ultra wealthy people avoid economic accountability, in that they can funnel their wealth into foundations and charities which are minimally taxed or even tax-exempt, while they themselves drop a tax bracket because they "gave away their wealth". result: they still control their wealth and what happens to it, but now they're taxed less for it. and it helps them avoid political and social accountability, because they can use their "generosity" as a way to avoid criticism of themselves and of the existence of the ultrarich as a whole, while using that "generosity" to support their own agenda, significantly influencing many sectors without having to answer to anyone. they can make enormously influential decisions which they might even think are good, but which might actually not be very great at all (not unlikely given ultra wealthy people are basically never the experts in the fields they choose to influence, but their inflated egos make them believe they are), and no one can veto these decisions.

how is that not enormously troubling? how is your argument about "motives" and "harm-reduction" in any way an effective rebuttal of this? why even defend philanthropy when other ways of wealth redistribution, which are more transparent and offer more accountability for the decision makers, exist? and in relative terms, did the money carnegie "gave away" really do a great deal of good, when he got all that money in the first place by brutally exploiting his employees? is it really "harm reduction" when in order to do it, you caused immense harm in the first place?

also, crucially, and as my last point, allow me to paraphrase linsey mcgoey by saying that philanthropy thrives on its own ineffectiveness; that is, in order to exist (and keep existing), charity needs the problems it purports to address to persist.

in any case, below are a few sources that are not wikipedia or random folk stories to support my points. i strongly encourage anyone who has any desire to defend philanthropy to seriously engage with the arguments and information these sources offer.

Nonprofit History Crash Course: The Hypocrisy of Andrew Carnegie’s Gospel of Wealth

Philanthrocapitalism and the Separation of Powers

The trouble with charitable billionaires

No Such Thing As a Free Gift: The Gates Foundation and the Price of Philanthropy by Linsey McGoey – review

Episode 45: The Not-So-Benevolent Billionaire - Bill Gates and Western Media

Revealing the True Cost of Billionaire Philanthropy

Philanthrocapitalism and crimes of the powerful

Gosh.

Must be rough for them.

[kainabunny]

creative

Thought I'll post this here since been reading a lot. No, I never get exhausted on creating lore for any storyline. I've been in mcrp space for 10+ years, believe me when I say... I have ideas I really do. Issue is I'm not allowed to write that style of lore like im used to.

It wasn't a choice I was allowed to make but I make work with my writing. Especially since atm I love what I do. This is my job and I'll do my best to make a quality episodes.

Whether it's in the m c r p space or in v r or my own content. Please know that I we'll never run out of creativity for stories. I love characters.I love the environment.And I love how much i'm allowed to do. Certain careers, I work for allow me to write my own things that eventually become fan favorites. While others, I must listen to the rules since they are my clients. I never, ever run out of creativity, or else, how will I pay my bills🥺

I draw, Va, Body act,edit , make blockbench models and write. I do a lot since in the end of the say I wanna be supportive to my friends and clients. Many know me without even knowing me. I've been behind the scenes helping where I can since 2015 on projects with multiple people! So let's clear somethings up:

There seems to be a lack of communication with us.

TSBS fans of Femme:

I should paste here since im assuming majority are not not in the server. Femme Nights has shifted to Roblox. Was not by choice but unfortunately we roll with the punches. Davis is no longer at femme as writer. He is still around for other channels and for his health chose to drop femme. (Dude works on so many channels... so makes sense to drop one)

Flora and I have been the ones taking care of Femme since. So we'll support him same way he supported us. (I better not see a rumor that he hates us. My bestie is over worked plus I mod for him. So... we all friends who help each other. Also he is marring my bestie☺️) I've taken on the mantle as writer for femme while Flora has been overseeing my work and coming up with concepts( we are both figuring out our workload behind the scene🥺) I just got sick and tried of everyone just assuming we "ran out of ideas" or "oh this is a break bc they are overworked" Clearly we haven't met! 😈

Regardless, I promise each video isn't done with the intention of being "baby" we are trying our best with videos. Concepts that are wayyy more but we are hired to work here. So we have to listen to our boss. I can't promise lore will return the same way as VR. I can promise is giving a story and being entertaining. Flora and I hope everyone can understand that part.

Now with that said I know we will be losing a good chunk of the fan base. Hell ive read the comments and heard the hate you've posted about this. I do not blame anyone for leaving and dropping femme! I also don't know too much on roblox but I wanna be better! I wanna thank you folks for allowing us to grow in VR storyline. Now if you stick around please do it for Flora and myself. I promise you I'll do my best together. We just need some patience and positivity. Some actually good criticism then we hate it. We already talking on how we can add some certain characters. Storylines and expand. (Again we are trying so don't quote me. I wanna suprise you if I get the ok.) im excited, excited to see this through but Flora and I need your support.

Personal:

Now if you wanna see me more active please go to Twitter for me or join my live on twitch(Kainabunny). I really enjoying my time here and won't talk against fan bases I don't know. However, I'm trying to step up and understand the fan bases I work for. So please any questions about how I work or projects I don't mind💙 ( won't lie felt a little insulted you guys assumed Davis would leave a channel without someone who can keep up? Dude once I get approval on certain storylines I guarantee you'll adore what's to come!) Seriously, you guys should go do a little research on the projects ive helped. Most likely was the reason I've made you cry in the MCRP community 😅😅😅

Sorry for the rant hope everyone enjoys!!!

[folkdevilism]

I'm perpetually in awe at the number of people who are well in to their twenties and beyond who still think an on-screen portrayal of something, regardless of nuance or background context, automatically equates to inherent glorification or real-world endorsement of the actions being portrayed.

[scoobydoodean]

Before a wincest shipper or bibro so much as touches this post with some comment about how their corner would never be guilty of something like this: absolute bullshit. Handle the nauseating nonsense in your own house. Your community deals in the exact same pervasive dishonesty within your allegedly beloved epic love story. The bulk of the meta in your community favors Sam in every single conflict and is deeply protective of him but very few of you care for Dean as anything more than a scapegoat and a “little black dress for Sam to wear” when it comes right down to it and I wish you’d just admit it.

I guess I just don’t understand why destiel shippers are so goddamn dishonest about season 6. It’s not remotely hard to see that Cas repeatedly uses Dean without his knowledge throughout the season. But you’d think based on how 90% of destiel shippers talk that Cas was waiting on Dean hand and foot while having his own needs ignored by a callous asshole. That’s literally the story people try to tell you while Cas uses Dean for everything from spells to forced labor to a meat shield for Raphael and Virgil while only showing up when Sam and Dean having a lead on an angel weapon is mentioned.

Maybe I’d understand the laughably dishonest summaries of the season if they made destiel as a whole look better, but they don’t. They just erase Cas’s problems in order to misrepresent and reduce Dean down to a mean friend who doesn’t deserve him. Sick to fucking death of y’alls bullshit.

[yaut-jaknowit]

Left Behind Part 2

Pairing: Dai'stbaen (Male Yautja) x AFAB!Mother!Reader

Word Count: 3410

Summary: After escaping the facility, Dai takes you and his son to his planet. It's not the smartest of ideas but you have no choice. Earth is no longer safe for the both of you. Yautja Prime isn't either. Dai knows how to play the game though. The first obstacle was convincing the council to allow you asylum. There's not enough begging from you or Dai to crack them.

Author Note: I swore I had an ask about this but apparently Tumblr decided to eat it. Heads up, might got a bit MIA. Had things happen at work and trying to figure out life now. IDK

Part 1

Masterlist

Ao3

A warm plate of meat and a glass of light green juice was set on a counter. Austin was already sitting on the ground with his own food, clearly enjoying his first, real meal in about a month. A least, that’s how long you though you were there. There was no sun or clocks. Just the rotation of scientists for the day and night. You were beyond thankful to be out and saved by Dai.

Speak of the man.

Dai���stbaen’s yellow eyes were on Austin, carefully watching him with a critical eye. One you felt a bit uneasy about. Your motherly instincts flared to life despite that being the father.

“It takes time,” you murmured and picked a slice off of your plate. The sound of your voice snapped Dai out of his stupor. You took a bite of the unknown meat and did your best to hide the cringe at the sour taste. The meat was alien but that wasn’t what you were expecting at all. It was food though. After going so long without it, you didn’t let it go to waste.

The alien turned his gaze towards you. He studies you now. “I was sent to find and kill the hybrid… our son,” he says. All of your muscles locked into place. Then, you began to scoot towards your son. You knew deep down if Dai seriously wanted Autin dead though, he would’ve been long gone before getting on the ship.

“But, you didn’t,” you whispered and timidly gazed at Dai.

“But I didn’t.”

The question hangs between the two of you. Why? Why did he save Austin instead of going through with what he was sent to do? Why agree to help you with Austin in the first place? You observed Dai closely as he leaned against the nearest wall. It was hard to read his alien face and know what he was thinking.

He leans back and lets his head rest against the wall eyes closing. “You cannot return to your home but my home will be just as deadly for you and… our son. My tribe won’t agree to his existence.” You could hear something underlining tone though and waited for him to continue. “With my rank, I may be able to convince the elders to allow existence if I train him. He’s already behind but if he can best his chiva, no one could kill him for being a hybrid.”

You stopped mid bite to look at him in horror. “He’s just a child! Your kind will kill a child because he’s a hybrid?! What is so bad about being a hybrid?” you questioned and abandoned your food to march up to Dai. Heated anger burning in your eyes, a passion to protect your son. The very son who’s father had come to kill.

“Everything.” Your face twisted with hurt. “It is a taint on a bloodline. A hybrid will never be as strong as its full blooded other. They are seen as weak. The yautja who aided as well.” His eyes finally meet yours again.

Did he just call himself weak? Your anger spurted out to glowing embers. That you didn’t expect. “So, you regret it. You regret that night.” Yautjas, or at least him, don’t use emotions very often. Just facts and instincts to drive them. The opposite to humans. You drew away from him and hugged yourself. His next move surprised you.

Dai shoved off of the wall and reached out with a hand. His palm cupped you cheek, thumb swiping away a stray tear. “No. No, I don’t. I don’t regret you saving me I saving you. I enjoyed that night. I… I wish I stayed.” The unique alien was showing emotion. More then you’ve ever seen before. “I wish I helped you.”

Words you never expected from him. He’s so stoic but this?

More tears flowed freely. “I was so scared. I-I couldn’t have anyone over to help me. I had to give birth alone! In my apartment and hoped nothing went wrong because I wouldn’t be able to take him to a hospital. I was terrified,” you cried. Then, you lunged forward and wrapped your arms around his midsection. The Yautja tensed up, arms held up slightly, unsure what to do. A few moments past before he mimics you and hugs you back. You sniffed into his chest as he holds you.

.

Before stepping off the ship, Dai has to crudely attach a metal mask over your entire face. It was too large for you face but Dai was able to make it seal. Apparently, the air was more rich in nitrogen then oxygen for you to comfortably breathe. As for Austin, he had to bear the air without aid. He couldn’t show weakness. Even though he is just a child.

You’re lead down the ramp while holding Austin’s hand despite what Dai warned. This was your child. You didn’t care what others though if you seemed to be coddling him. Austin was only give. He’s still a baby to you and deserves to be coddled. Specially after everything the two of you endured at that… place.

Humid heat instantly smacked you in the face and made your clothes feel ten times heavier. You pinched the collared of your shirt and moved it quickly from your body to invite over movement. It didn’t help.

From the ship, Dai brings you into a small village. At the first sight of another yautja, you tugged Austin closer and tucked closer to Dai’s side. He stiffened for a millisecond but did nothing to produce space between the two of you.

Deadly glares were pointed on the two of you. Some eyes filled with confusion or even betrayal. Many kept a wide berth as if you were diseased. Others… were more daring and made attempts to grab at Austin. You reared around on the offender, ready to show how protective of Austin you were. Dai snagged an arm around your waist though and carried you away from the situation. Austin had to run after the two of you to keep up with Dai’s long strides.

He came to a sudden stop. A shadow casted over you. Your head snapped over to see a towering yautja glaring down at Dai’stbaen. This one was at least a head taller, easily more. Your anger washed away with hear freezing the bleed in your veins. This one could easily pop Dai’s head off it wanted to.

“You brough it back. Alive? With the mother?” it snarled viciously and crowded into your shared space. Dai slowly set you back down and guided with on hand to have you stand behind him. You realized the unknown yautja was speaking what must be their native language but the mask was translating to you. “The council will have your head for this. I should take care of the problem before it reaches them.” It steps even closer. Your beats loudly, threatening to explode. You hadn’t even been on the planet longer than five minutes and were about to be killed.

A growl tumbled out of the yautja protecting you. “You have no authority, Luc-ilio. This is an issue for the council, not you.” What parts of his back that weren’t covered, you saw the muscles rippling as he prepared for a fight. You clutched Austin’s hand tighter.

The newly named Luc-ilio stood tall and looked down at Dai. “Who knew an enforcer such as yourself would stoop to such levels to breed. I am glad you declined me for breeding rights now. No one wants your tainted bloodline now,” it sneered before spinning on its heel and strutting away.

Though confused on most of what it had said, you couldn’t help the guilt that pooled in the pit of your belly. Clearly having a child with his has tainted his image to his tribe.

Dai acted no different and carried down the stone path. You followed after him with Austin in tow. The child not understanding a word that was just said. At least the air didn’t seem to be affecting him.

A large pyramid-like building stood tall in the middle of what must be the middle of the town. Dai didn’t stop and marched up the first flight of stairs. You picked Austin up and placed him on your hip before going up the steps. Dai didn’t slow his stride. The steps were meant for someone of his stature, making the journey hard for you. Worst of all, carrying your fifty pound child wasn’t easy either. But you made it to an entrance about one-third from the base of the pyramid. You could feel the mask struggling to provide the necessary oxygen for you.

Two guards stood on either side of the entrance. Both geared up with fancy armor and large spears. Their eyes narrowed on you at first then darkened at the sight of Austin there. You held onto him a little tighter and turned your body away from them.

“The council is in a meeting,” one grunted after tearing its green eyes off of Austin.

“They will want to speak to me,” Dai’stbaen countered and squared his shoulders. The guards look him up and down then snorted.

“Yes. Yes, they will,” the other spoke in a hoarse voice that grated on your ears.

The guards allow you access into the building. You were thankful to get out of the direct heat and sun. It felt like it was cooking you alive.

Once inside it wasn’t much better. There was no breeze to help ease the stifling heat that threatened to suffocate you. More guards were scattered on other doorways leading further and deeper into this tomb. Austin tightened his grip on your clothing and huddled closer to you.

Soon enough, deep down, the three of you reached a grand set of doors. Another pair of guards stood on either side. These two were massive like the first yautja you had seen on the planet. You got a good look at them and realized… Are those breasts? Their woman are larger than their men. Holy shit. They were much larger.

Two spears came down and blocked the door by creating an ‘X’. “The council is in meeting. No entry is allowed until afterwards,” the one on the right, a rich brown hide, stated firmly and met your gaze. Disgust evident in them.

“I must speak to them. This is important,” Dai demanded and stepped forward, urging them to let the three of you in.

The sneer they gave Dai dribbled onto you and Austin. “Male, you have no rights to demand anything. That thing is your offspring.” How did they know? Austin has speckles of red scales along various spots on his body but besides that, you couldn’t see other similarities. You hugged Austin once more and watched them careful. It’s evident that everyone has something against Austin and you for just existing unfortunately.

“Just tell-“ Dai started.

The beige woman stomped her foot down with a growl. “No! Leave now before we finish the job for you and satisfy the council at your slackness.” You gasped and stepped back, ready to flee if need be. The rich brown yautja grinned at the fear you had for them. Who wouldn’t?!

Before either of them could get another word in, the large doors were pulled open.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Another massive Yautja appeared in the door way with a snarl on her wrinkly face. Her golden eyes roamed over the scene in front of her and landed on Austin and you. The center of attention at this point. “In Paya’s name, we ordered you to kill it, not bring the wretched thing here with its mother!”

Dai’stbaen fell to a knee and bowed his head. “Ma’dam Siln-taunh,” he greeted with great respect. Ma’dam Siln-taunh was highly decorated in armor, bones, and fur. Her status clear even to your clueless self. You started to tremble at the deadly look she gaze you. Even Austin whimpered and tucked into your side, burying his face into your neck. “Ma-dam, if I ma-“ he began but was quickly cut off.

“Don’t tell me you-you sired it!” she gasped, mandibles flaring either in disgust or anger or both. Probably both. You took a step back. Her teal blue eyes snapped towards you at the movement. The disgust tenfolded in the blueness.

Instead of cowering or bowing his head in shame. Dai stood tall, head level. “I did. The ooman had saved me but got injured in return. I let her stay with me until she was healed. We g-“ She interrupted him again.

“It should end there. You pay back that duty due to our code and left the soft meat immediately afterwards.” If Dai hadn’t kept you for that month… Austin wouldn’t extist. None of this would’ve happened. And you didn’t know if you would’ve wanted that.

When a pregnant pause entered the air, a figure appeared behind Ma’dam Siln-taunh. Unlink Siln-taunh, she stood there with mirth in her eyes. She found Austin tucked against you, gaze softening. Before you knew it, the rust brown pushed past Siln-taunh with a gasp.

“Oh my goodness!” she said and stopped directly in front of you. Dai’s shoulders tensed up but he didn’t come to your recue. You stared wide eyed at her and took a step away, turning your body away to hide Austin from her. Her overexcitement died off. She took a step back and immediately clamed down. “Apologies. I did not mean to frighten you in such a way. I have never seen a young hybrid before.”

“Calinork, do no,” Siln-taunh growled out. “Get away from them. They are probably riddles with diseases.” Calinork snorted and squatted down in front of you. Your protective instincts continued to flare to like. An unsure glare was set on Calinork.

“He is adorable, ooman,” Calinork stated, ignoring what Siln-taunh said to her. “How old is her? Has he began training yet? He seems big enough.” She was definitely different compared to the beige alien you began to slow relaxed, still on the edge. The lump in your throat was push down.

“He recently turned five… and, uh, no. We don’t do that. He’s not like you guys.” Austin may have half of their DNA, but you weren’t going to let him go fight monsters and aliens. He was going to stay safe under your wing until the day you died. No one was going to hurt him. No under your watch.

She smiled, at least you think it was a smile. “But he is. If he has a lick of his sire’s heart, he’ll do just fine here,” she told you with a confidence you didn’t have. You hugged Austin harder despite the ache in your arms.

Ma’dam Siln-taunh hissed and marched towards thee two of you. Calinork whirled around while standing up at the same time. Dai moved towards you as well, hands flying to his hunting knife at his side.

“That thing will not be permitted to stay here, let alone alive. It needs to be put down like the disgusting, soft meat hybrid it is!” Ma’dam Siln-taunh snarled and tried to get to you, almost bypassing Calinork. Dai pushed you behind him, knife at the ready. Calinork stares the Ma’dam down until she finally stopped. The two of them sizing each other up before Siln-taunh backed down.

“As the right hand of our empress, my word overshadows yours tenfold, little Ma’dam. The hybrid will get to live like any other offspring. He will be trained by the esteemed Dai’stbaen to overcome his chiva at the rightful age of fifteen solar cycles. His mother will wear my seal to ensure her safety. Should anyone come to harm either without reason, punishment will be the last of their worries.”

All four of you stared wide-eyed at Calinork. Her declaration firm in the air. Siln-taunh’s mandibles tightened over her mouth. It looked like she wanted to heavily disagree with Calinork but wasn’t in an position of authorityto disobey the command.

Ma’dam Siln-taunh respectfully bowed her head, muscles strained. “Yes, La’dam Calinork.” There was something in her voice that made you feel uneasy about the whole situation. More than before. You glanced at the back of Dai’s head want comfort and reassurance. The moment far too tense to allow any weakness to reveal itself.

“You’re dismissed,” Calinork sent Siln-taunh away. The beige woman staged for a moment longer, glaring daggers that promised death, then took her leave.

Not all the tension left the hallway. The guards still stood at their post watching the whole thing. Calinork shut the door and lead the two of you away from there and into a private room. The door closed with a soft click.

You finally set Austin down, your arm about to give out. You kneeled down to his height and checked him over, ensuring nothing had happened to him. Dai knelt next to you and gingerly placed a hand on your shoulder. Tears pooled in your eyes but you did your best to suck them back down for Austin.

“Why does everyone want to kill him? He’s just a child, an innocent kid. He’s done nothing wrong!” you broke into a crying fit and hugged Austin close. He was a bit confused but returned the gesture. You didn’t care if Calinork watched. Fuck everyone. “Your kind are monsters for killing children just because they are different.”

Calinork walked around to stand a few feet behind Austin. “Hybrid are looked down because they aren’t pure blooded yautjas. A taint on a bloodline. Only the strong survive in our society. It’s the way of life,” she explained and leaned back against a stone desk built into the ground.

You scowled at her through the tears. You could care less about her being the right hand of the empress. Their whole society sucked. “I don���t care. Let Dai’stbaen disown him and cut his ties. I will not let anyone take him away or kill him. He’s my child!”

Dai looked at you with a hint of hurt in his gaze. Calinork shook her head. “One, it doesn’t like that. Two, even if you could, I wouldn’t recommend you doing that. Dai’stbaen will have to defend you and your child until he can do it himself. All of you have painted a massive target on your back. Dai’stbaen will also have to work twice as hard to gain the favor of the elders favor again.”

At this point, it sounded like being back in that facility was better than here. At least they needed you alive to keep Austin somewhat calm. They just wanted you dead here. No remorse.

All you wanted to do was break down and cry. To sob to your hearts content. There hasn’t been a moment in the last six years that you’ve caught a breath.

Finally, you picked up your head to look at the rust colored yautja in the yellow eyes. “What am I supposed to do?” It feels like you’ve been backed into a spiky corner. Either to be slaughtered by a very murderous race or be impaled by spikes. Neither sounded pleasant or ever merciful.

She steeled her gaze on you.

“Survive.”

.

The cottage-like home that Dai brought Austin and you to was homy. In a way, it was both primitive and modern. The skulls and pelts decorating the walls gave you a cabin feel. Except it was a jungle where the home sat. Thick, possibly deadly foliage around you.

Dai’stbaen sets down the gear he brought off of his ship. “There is only one bed,” he stated and rummaged through the bag. A metal canteen was pulled out. “I do have plenty of pelts to craft another sleeping spot if you wish.” He seemed unsure, almost in a nervous way. After the day’s events, you wanted to just collapse. “You hadn’t gotten much sleep on the way here. All you could do was nod your head and follow after him to a bedroom decorated heavily with skulls. If you weren’t exhausted, you maybe you would’ve had a different reaction.

Instead, you went over to the low, massive bed and flopped onto it. Austin crawled up after you and made his own spot near the middle. The moment your head hit the mattress, you were out like a light.

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

I have so many feelings about Vander, he's such an interesting, flawed, sympathetic, tragic, and infuriating character. I'm obsessed with him.

He is introduced as this genuinely loving father and nurturing provider, he loves and wants more than anything to protect his kids. He is kind, he is stern, he is protective. The sheer devastation and fear in his eyes chained to a chair watching his little teenage daughter go to fight a man twice her size for his sake absolutely haunts me.

But looking back on his parenting objectively, it really was far from perfect. He parentified his oldest daughter and made her out to be responsible for the well-being of her siblings (Zaun seems to have a culture of free-range parenting, so his lack of supervision isn't a problem so much as the fact that he pressures his teenager to be the supervisor).

Furthermore, he's struck a deal with Grayson to keep enforcers out of the Lanes business in exchange for them not interfering with topside's affairs, but there is an obvious failure on Grayson's end to uphold her end of the deal. We see enforcers in the Lanes multiple times, in the Enemy mv, and also it's stated by Vi to Powder that one time enforcers chased Claggor until he got his foot stuck in a gutter, then proceeded to harass him and LEAVE HIM THERE where he wasn't found until morning. Like, Vander, the cops hassled your child and put him in a very dangerous situation, but you keep your mouth shut and do what they say? It's clear that his fear of another violent conflict has resulted in a problematic level of complacency where he allows violence to be enacted against his people but acts in fear of fighting back. Sevika was right to call him a coward.

But it's also clear that he does struggle with mental illness to some extent, which I truly truly wish was explored more because it's such an interesting aspect of who he is as a person. The way in which he lashes out at Silco is horrifying. Whether they were friends, lovers, or even just comrades at that point, it is clear that Vander did not have his mental health and his anger under control at that point in his life. And I think that's why he was so complacent. He wasn't afraid of the enforcers, he was afraid of himself. Afraid of what he would do if he let himself be involved in another conflict. Afraid of who he would hurt next, if he was so capable and willing to hurt people he cared about before. Benzo? Sevika? Vi? Powder? Mylo? Claggor? It is my genuine belief that when he said "there are worse things than enforcers out there," Benzo understood it to mean Silco or at least the other Chembarons, but Vander was fully talking about himself.

Then, in the main timeline, he is "saved" and turned into the very thing he'd spent the last several years of his life trying desperately not to be, even at the expense of his people's freedom-- a bloodthirsty, violent monster with no self control. In a way, Warwick is the person Vander used to be. The person who lashes out and hurts people he loves, but also is willing to go to any length of violence to protect them. I don't like the idea that Warwick's violence comes entirely from the animal or something external to Vander, it should be very clear that this monster is Vander.

I also think it's so interesting. When he finally becomes violent at the Cannery, and chokes Silco out again, it is only after his sons have been killed. In the AU, a lot of people criticize this idea that it depicts a "utopia" where Silco crawled back to his abuser after finding the letter, but I don't think that's what's being depicted. It's never stated or implied that he found the letter in the AU. What is stated/implied? Vander's daughter was killed. On a job that she took out of bitterness against topside. We know Silco didn't give a shit about Vi at that point, I don't see this triggering him to find the letter or come crawling back. But we saw in the main timeline, that when Vander loses his children, he's able to become the violent revolutionary he once was. Which is exactly what Silco wanted, so I reckon that's what happened. He came back to Silco, and they fought for Zaun together again.

Losing people he loves pulls violence out of Vander like nothing else.

He's just-- he contains such multitudes. He is all of these things. He is a kind, protective father and a nurturing provider. He is a flawed parent. He is a coward. He is a monster. He is a sick and violent man who is willing to hurt the people he loves. He is fiercely protective and driven to intense violence and madness when people he loves are killed.

Vander, the man that you are.

[ephemeralinstance]

Why is Rook so uncurious?

I've seen people complain that Veilguard changes Solas' motivations. And that's sort of true, but really it doesn't so much change them as just try really hard not to look at them. All of the things we were shown in previous games about the ongoing and serious harm done by the Veil still remain completely true, it's just that Rook is never allowed to ask or think about any of this stuff. Which is frustrating because it significantly weakens Rook's character: they end up coming off as determinedly ignorant and uncurious.

Take the information we're given about why taking down the Veil is bad - which seems entirely limited to Varric's claim that it would 'drown the world in demons.' Rook is constantly parroting this line, treating Varric as the ultimate authority on the matter. But this claim makes very little sense, because it surely cannot be the case that Solas wants to create a world filled with nothing but demons. From Inquisition we know he's greatly distressed every time a spirit becomes a demon, so that can't possibly be the outcome that he's expecting.

Of course, Solas could be wrong; he's certainly been wrong about many things before and he's not thinking very clearly. But even so, why on earth would we take Varric's word over Solas' here? Solas is an ancient and knowledgeable mage, the only person around who lived before the Veil, and he literally made the Veil. Whereas Varric is not a mage, has never studied magic or spirits, and is canonically frightened of the Fade and spirits: in the Lighthouse he mentions several times that he finds this 'Fade shit' weird. How could he possibly be in a position to know better than Solas about what would happen if the Veil came down?

Maybe I as a player can just accept that because Varric is The Narrator he must be right about all this. But Rook doesn't know that Varric is The Narrator. So it just feels like Rook is either incredibly ignorant or so devoted to Varric that their ability to think for themself has completely shut down. It's such an odd, anti-intellectual, anti-expert framing: don't do research or talk to anyone who has knowledge on the matter, just accept unquestioningly what your friend says.

Equally frustrating is the absence of any critical thinking about Solas' reasons for doing what he's doing. The only thing Varric and Harding tell Rook about this is that Solas is doing it because the ancient world was beautiful, but what does that mean? And is it really plausible that Solas is doing all this just because of aesthetics?

Rook hears Solas say 'The Veil is a wound on the world,' and never once thinks to ask - what did he mean by that? A wound is something that causes harm, that causes pain. What is the Veil harming? What pain is it responsible for? (From previous games we know the answer, of course. It's harming spirits, mages, and perhaps elves. But Rook never bothers to ask Solas, or to ask anyone else, or even to try to think about for themself about it.).

There's a moment right at the very end, where Solas is finally permitted to mention that he's doing this partly for the spirits. But in a perfect encapsulation of their whole dynamic, Rook immediately interrupts him. Doesn't even let him finish his sentence. Rook is so completely confident that they know best for the spirits and that this person who literally was once a spirit couldn't possibly have any insight into the matter.

At the beginning of the game Varric comments that he chose the name 'Rook' because Rook tends to think in straight lines. Which struck me as odd at the time, because 'thinks in straight lines' sounds like Varric is saying Rook isn't very smart. I thought I must have misinterpreted it, because why on earth would you choose to impose as a requirement on all players that their pc must lack critical thinking? But looking back I can see that's kinda exactly what they did, which - maybe they thought it would be more relatable? Still, if you're going to impose a fixed personality on the main character of a game, it's baffling to me that you would pick 'absence of critical thinking' as one of their main features.

[maxx-the-queer]

One of my criticisms about Dragon Age, and this isn't unique to Veilguard, is how antirevolutionary their narratives are. (Spoilers for Veilguard ahead, naturally)

Narratively, they're not adverse to all change (since stories have to have some change in order to exist) but they're hardly accepting of it either.

Any change that happens to the status quo has to happen within the system, otherwise it's deemed extremism and wrong in universe.

Contrast that with when Anders or Grand Enchanter Fiona take actions against the systems of the Circles that spark the mage rebellion - they're vilified for it by the narrative and everyone around them. They're painted as fools at best, malicious murderers at worst. All because their steps for change were taken outside of the system. (Anders blows up a Chantry, Fiona starts a vote to disband the Circle of Magi)

In a worldstate where Leliana becomes Divine Victoria and disbands the Circles to allow for the formation of the College of Enchanters, she's celebrated because she stayed within the Chantry, rose to the top through unconventional but still allowable means, yet achieved radical societal change nonetheless.

If Dorian becomes Archon, his anti-slavery views aren't seen as unreasonable or too radical because he stays within the system. His work with the Shadow Dragons - an anti-slavery group, who by all standards aren't that different from the mage rebellion in the south, is deemed different because their leaders are still trying to work with the systems for change.

Solas gets both versions of this anti-revolutionary treatment. In Inquisition, he felt honestly quite reasonable to me in his motivations to tear down the veil, but he can't escape that same vilification as when he's trying to fit the mould of a force for rebellion, he's treated like a monster or has significantly more flaws in the narrative. When his motivations are framed as complete systematic change, he's shown to not view anyone in modern Thedas as 'real people.' In one of his approval scenes in Inq, he goes out of his way to tell the Inquisitor essentially "you're one of the good ones." He's ignorant, racist, and singlemindedly focused on destroying the world to have a second Elvhenan but better.

But in Veilguard, in order for the narrative to consider him redeemable, his reasons for wanting the veil to come down get changed from wanting betterment for the elves and restoring the Elvhen people, into personal regrets he needs to fulfill. He's no longer framed solely as a political, rebellious force for change, but as a mere man who went too far for a woman he loved. Suddenly the narrative gives the player permission to give him redemption. Because he doesn't actually want change, it's just what he thought Mythal wanted, so that's fine and different.

Your player character protagonist can never actually flat-out agree with the vilified rebel characters either. I can't have my pro-mage rights Hawke say "hey, actually, Anders was right to blow up the Chantry, I agree with him," you always have to ultimately condemn his actions, even if you agree with the outcome.

I can't have my Dalish Inquisitor or an Elven Rook say "hey, actually, maybe Solas has a point, this world does suck for elves and maybe the veil coming down would fix that," they always have to ultimately believe that the veil has to stay.

The games do everything they can to avoid letting the player come to the conclusion that revolution is a good thing. Instead, they force the idea that the only way change is ethical is if you do it within the preexisting status quo.

[the-pen-pot]

Your all time top ten favorite Merlin fanfics you have read.

Oh it took me too long to get to this ask anon, but here you go. These are all in no particular order, complete, ratings are various, Merthur, read the tags 😁:

My Significant Bother by Leandra (96k) - Modern Royalty AU, no magic

Merlin's job as PR junior on the royal account isn't as glamorous as people believe: Most nights, he's saving Arthur, Duke of York and black sheep of the family, from possibly committing monarchy-shattering shenanigans. When tragedy hits and Arthur is now second in line to the throne, the public doesn't react too favourably to the new Prince of Wales. A solution has to be found and Merlin's contribution is key to the problem: Roped into posing as Arthur's fake boyfriend, he's supposed to make Arthur's popularity levels rise with his steadfast and relatable presence and elevate him from scandalous rake to romantic figure...

Fools of Us All by Adelagia (11k) - Canon Era

Merlin accidentally makes everybody in Camelot fall in love with him. Everybody except Arthur, that is.

All Things Loved and Lovesick by Horsecrazy (90k) - Modern Vet AU, no magic

In which Arthur runs a horse breeding farm, and Merlin is a livestock vet. B's note: Having to choose just one of Horsecrazy's fics is practically a crime, but this one has a special place in my heart I can't deny. That said, all of their Merthur is 10/10 and I particularly love the Modern AUs.

In Want Of A Wife by Syllic (43k) - Canon Era

When Merlin first hears that Arthur has been betrothed, his ribs pull inwards with an odd little hitch, and he only allows himself a second—which he needs in order to coordinate spinning in place without falling on his face—before he’s running to Arthur’s chambers.

Favorite by Astolat (13k) - Canon Era

Arthur was tipped back against the wall, his mouth open for breath and staring at the small arrow-slit window over Merlin's head, trying to work out how it could possibly be that good with Merlin, of all people.

The History of Two Conversations (On Paper) by Takadainmate (11k) - Canon era

Books are defaced. But it's all for a good cause. Really. (Arthur finds merlin's magic book)

Gadarene by Unpossible (76k) - Canon era AU

“You’re the Prince?” Merlin says, eyeing him. He hesitates, then adds, defiant, “The Mad Prince of Camelot.” Arthur doesn’t move. There’s quiet for a long time, then he says it. “I am.” “You don’t seem mad,” he says. The smile wells up from somewhere deep, and very sad. “Well, Merlin,” he says, “give me time.”

Charting Stars on the Stained Glass Ceiling by Mornmeril (80k) - Modern AU WITH magic

Merlin leads a relatively content life - or as content as is possible under the rule of a magic-hating King. When the arrogant son of said magic-hating King starts becoming a regular at his coffee shop, Merlin is a little puzzled. When said Prince prat then proceeds to ingest a love potion on Merlin's watch that results in him having to move into the Royal Palace as Prince Arthur's (fake) boyfriend, Merlin wonders which deity he has angered. Things only get more complicated from there.

We Are All Diamonds by Footloose (130k) -Modern AU with some magic)

As the precocious heir of a diamond magnate and a famous designer, Arthur lived his entire life sheltered, protected, nurtured and spoiled. He always knew that he would have to step out from behind the scenes and into the limelight to run the family business some day, but he never expected that it would happen so soon or that he would encounter resistance from a board of directors who believe that his disability makes him unfit to lead. Merlin has stood on every stage in every city in the world, performing to critical acclaim, but after years of globetrotting, he's well and truly burnt out. He didn't quit -- he ran away from stardom, dropping to obscurity in the blink of an eye, forgotten, just another face in the crowd. He's aimless and without purpose until a friend asks him to fill in on a job. Neither Arthur nor Merlin are looking for salvation. They don't think there's any for them, that things are just too rotten, too far gone. But in the end, Arthur's quiet strength will be a balm to Merlin's broken soul, and it will be in Merlin's steadfast faith that Arthur finds courage. (B's Note: Loaded March by the same author gets a lot of love and is also a fave, but this particular fic is just breathtaking to me. Well worth it!)

Dower The Stars by RurouniHime (40k) - Canon AU. Court sorcerer Merlin and King Arthur.

During a time of great prosperity in Albion, the Druids offer Emrys a precious gift. Arthur is not amused. (aka, "The Great Conjunction is at Hand, Everyone Kiss Merlin!")

You can also check out my AO3 bookmarks for more 💖

[aestherin]

KEEP MY HEART

goal 30: something wrong

NOTES: this took longer than i thought 💀 anw it was more tamed than i imagined omg yay!! ^^

Scaramouche thought the car ride home was plenty suffocating, but nothing could compare to how heavy the air was once he got home with his mother.

An extensive home that is reasonably far from other neighboring houses, with a spacious lot surrounding the house itself. It could've been such a perfect home — if not for the two broken people living in it.

As his mother remained silent while the two of them exited the car, Scaramouche thought he had at least the whole night to prepare for his mother's outburst. Alas, they haven't even made it to the front door yet, and he had already started hearing something.

"Kunikuzushi."

He merely turned to her, not even saying a word.

"Just what happened?" Scaramouche could not get something from his mother's voice at all. She wasn't yelling — it would be out of character for her to do so anyway. But she obviously wasn't happy either. But at least it wasn't that cold, too?

At a loss for words, the young man forced himself to focus his gaze on one random thing, perhaps the grass peacefully lying on their front yard.

'I'll just have to let her say anything and everything she wants to say, and I'll say nothing. And then tomorrow, we'll just continue like nothing happened,' he thought.

And so he did, letting his mother's words pass through one ear to the other. 'How can you let yourself play like that', 'how can you allow people to see you like that', 'just what would they say about you now', 'this isn't what we trained for'... Nothing he wasn't used to. It was all alright. He can go through another sermon session just fine.

Until he was knocked out of his stupor by a certain statement from his mother.

"Perhaps I should've gotten between you and that companion of yours I saw in the freedom wall. I think she is distracting you, maybe you should stay away from her."

A sudden surge of rage came over him, prompting him to finally meet eyes with his own mother. Ei was slightly taken aback, not used to receiving such a hateful look from her one and only son.

"What?"

The woman could not utter a response, still in shock at the state her son is in. She was so used to him being so indifferent whenever they talk, making it seem as if her advices and sermons have no effect at the slightest.

Meanwhile, Scaramouche, at the lack of response from his mother, could not stop himself anymore.

Scaramouche felt like a balloon — thinned, worn out, and keeping too much inside.

Much more than he could handle.

And his mother's words that night felt like a sharpened needle.

"Why the fuck do I always have to do what you tell me?" He finally snapped.

"What?"

"Can't you see that I'm trying?! And yet you always see something!" Scaramouche gritted his teeth.

"You always see something to criticize! You always see something like a flaw! You always see something wrong!" He yelled, shortly followed by a bitter laugh. "Heck, maybe you even consider my birth to be something wrong."

A swift slap cut him off.

Somehow, the physical pain inflicted by his mother got him out of his continuous outbursts, replacing his seething anger with shock. No matter how cold and strict his mother was, she had never gotten physical with him.

Refusing to believe what just happened, a wondering Scaramouche looked back up to his mother's face — only to see her eyes dripping and her cheeks stained.

'Are those tears?'

'My mother... crying?'

"How could you say something like that Kunikuzushi?"

"How can you treat your life so lightly like that?" Ei sobbed. "Your birth wasn't something wrong — it was the most beautiful thing that happened to me."

The young man just stared at her, probably in disbelief.

"You are my son, a part of me, something even more important than myself —"

"— and that's why I never wish to see you hurt."

"Hah," Scaramouche scoffed. "Really?"

The man could not do anything but laugh ironically. She doesn't want to see him hurt, she says?

'I hate to break it to you mom, but you've been doing that for so long.'

How many lies would she feed him tonight?

"I don't want you to suddenly commit a mistake while playing, put yourself to shame, and be unnecessarily criticized and judged heavily." The purple-haired woman said. "And if that happens? Then what? You'll be so affected by all the backlash, and then you'll finally lose yourself?"

Scaramouche swore he never expected to see his mother cry so hard. In fact, crying was one of the things he thought his mother was incapable of doing. But what was she saying?

Where is she getting all this from?

"What?"

"I don't want anyone precious to me to ever experience that again."

"What the heck are you talking about, mom?"

It was a slip of the tongue, unconsciously going back to what he once used to call the woman in front of him. A slip of the tongue that he failed to catch, but did not go past his own mother, whose memories of the days when he used to call her 'mom' flashed by her eyes.

But before she could even explain herself, someone else made their presence known.

"Your mother had a sister, you see."

It was Yae.

His mother's old friend.

“Have you ever heard of Makoto?” The pink-haired lady asked. Scaramouche could not see the relevance of her question, but he decided to humor her nonetheless. “Who?”

“My twin sister.”

“You had a sister?!”

Scaramouche thought he knew a lot about his mother. But really, is he even qualified to say that he knew her if he knew nothing about her past before having him? Everything he knew about Ei were memories of them together. Her being a loving mother to him when he was little, her having Yae as her only friend, her suddenly changing her parental practices once he started his soccer career — all of them were memories of her after his existence.

Only now did he realize he never knew anything about his mother’s past.

Yae sighed. “How is he ever going to understand if you never told him about Makoto, Ei?”

“It’s too dark of a story. He might not be able to handle it.”

“And you think he can handle your coldness and strictness forever?”

“What, do you want me to discourage my son from his dreams of being a top soccer player by telling him that my twin sister fucked up on a game just once, got so many backlash and became the people’s punching bag, went depressed up to the point that she couldn’t handle it anymore and eventually lost herself?” Ei spat out. “I don’t want to scare him off from achieving his dreams, but I can’t also risk the possibility of him having the same experience as my sister.”

What the fuck?

Merely processing the things he was hearing already required so much from the young man. He could not bear to disturb the conversation between the two ladies, lest there are still some things he should hear.

“So you set high expectations for him?”

“It was the only way I thought of.”

“Have you ever considered the thought that you yourself may actually be ruining his dreams for him?”

“What?” Ei turned her gaze to Scaramouche for a moment, allowing her to once again notice the state that her son was in. Trembling hands clenched into fists, focused yet glossy eyes, and brows furrowed — she couldn’t tell if they were out of fury or confusion. Perhaps it was both.

“You are making your son hate that dream of his that you sought to protect with the way you are treating him, Ei.” Yae walked towards the young man and lightly tapped his shoulder. “What this kid wants is to have fun playing, not play under constant expectations and strictness from his mother.”

Scaramouche looked up at her, who only smiled at him in return. “Isn’t that right, Kunikuzushi?”

He turned his face away from her and immediately swatted her hand from his shoulder. “What would you know about what I want?”

“Oh? But was I wrong?” She grinned. “No response? I must’ve been right then.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re just salty I’m right.”

“I am not?” The guy scowled. “Stop making things up you annoying hag —“

“Uh, excuse me?! What hag?!”

A certain purple-haired woman remained all throughout the banter between her son and her friend. When was the last time her son spoke to her without reservations like that? No, when was the last time they even had a proper conversation, one where he isn’t replying with words not even amounting to a handful?

“Ei, I want to ask you something.” A voice brought her out of her trance. “How do the other players on your team look whenever they practice and play?”

“Tired.” Ei described exactly how the boys on the team looked whenever they were on the field. Their whole beings drenched in sweat, their limbs trembling, their breaths hurried.

But despite everything, she remembered that they were having fun.

“But were they having fun?”

“They were.”

“And how does your own son look whenever he’s on the field?”

For the first time that night, absolute silence reigned over their abode’s front yard.

“See?” The pink-haired woman smiled. “Don’t you want Kunikuzushi to have the same experience as everybody else on your team?”

For the first time, Scaramouche heard the two words he thought he would never ever hear coming out from his mother’s mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau

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[raymurata]

Just scroll (or go ahead and block my #dav critical tag) if you don't wanna read me whining abt Bellara's Archive choice again, but I'm not done with the salt.

What bugs me isn't that the choice to destroy the archive exists, it's that the game frames it, through its UI (which is the closest thing we have to a nonbiased narrator in this medium), as equally weighted against the opposite choice.

If they had worded it like this:

"Free the archive (the knowledge will be lost)" x "Keep the archive (the knowledge will be kept)"

With no extra commentary, then that would be better. If you got to be openly racist against the Dalish or openly in favor of the Dalish, period. Just like in previous games.

Bellara says "(the archive would help us) get back what made us who we were," and "With it, we could be that again."

Which is funny because... People don't study history to return to the past. It's fine if Bellara is idealistic and saying whatever unrealistic, grandiose dreams she and Cyrian had, but the Dalish would never (could never) become like the ancient elves again. For starters there is a Veil now. So what it would in fact do is help them understand where they come from, what they've been through, and trace the changes in their culture.

Of course our modern historians and scientists have tried to reclaim lost technology, too. They've figured out how the Romans made their extra sturdy concrete, and scientists in Brazil have long been trying to replicate the extra fertile Terra Preta from indigenous peoples that lived in the Amazon basin, and several South American historians would love to know how exactly the Inca used the quipu as a writing system aside from counting tool, etc... And that's super cool!!! And maybe (but that's a big maybe) the Archive could give the Dalish a technological edge to carve a corner of the world for themselves without the constant struggle with Tevinter trying to enslave them or Andrastians trying to subjugate them.

But I personally don't think anyone's reading Aztec accounts of human sacrifices to replicate the same practices in modern cults, or that there is an army out there utilizing Roman decimation as a method of discipline. We're using different horrific methods of control now, lol.

But let's say a modern general does decide that the best way to punish a battalion for one man's insurgence is to force every group of ten soldiers to violently murder the 10th man.... Do you really think that the fault would lie with the historian who unearthed that information and put it on Wikipedia? Or the insane general that decided to do this? Would modern morality and laws allow for that punishment to be executed? Do you think that the existence of that article online is inherently dangerous and controversial, and that it should be taken down? Do you think this general would have been a good and non-violent general if he hadn't ever read about Decimation? Or is it clear to you that violence and ingenuity are both inherent to mortals as a whole and can't be so easily blamed on the spread of knowledge?

Because it's not clear to DAV. The game (not Bellara, not Varric) words it very unambiguously as a dichotomy: The only safe way to deal with this Archive is to destroy it. Keeping it is inherently dangerous because the knowledge could fall in "the wrong hands."

What Bellara says is "Cyrian is gone because of what that thing knew," and "what about the bad side, the other things we did?" and "We stole the dwarves' dreams."

Again, she gets to say whatever she wants because she's a character and she's an anxious, idealistic mess. Love her for it. I like that she feels guilt here too because she has been established (through her way of dealing with Cyrian's first death) as someone who takes the blame for mistakes she didn't even commit (She certainly isn't responsible for Solas' actions). She's someone who drives herself sick cooking up the most horrific scenarios in her mind, and she's so compassionate she can't stand the thought of being the one perpetrating violence against innocents. Her misplaced guilt and dread are the emotions that lead her to consider destroying the Archive.

But no matter how guilty a young german may feel about the holocaust, destroying knowledge about gas chambers is not what will prevent other genocides from happening around the world. Individual guilt is barely productive.

Furthermore, Corinne Bursche says that DAV gives you a choice between "destroying" or "sharing" elven knowledge, which is not how the game worded it. But the point still stands even if the Veil Jumpers, for some condescending plot reason, completely lost control of this knowledge, or were so flippant as to put everything on Thedas' wikipedia without curing it at all.

Let's accept, too, that the Archive contains knowledge of how to build something equivalent to nuclear weapons, which one could argue is in fact truly dangerous, but... Well. Do you think it's fair that the countries that have nuclear arsenals are some of the most vocal about the dangers of other countries ever developing their own?

Because that's what it feels like, to me, when the game calls elven knowledge dangerous without ever allowing you to question -- what about Tevinter rituals and magic? Tevinter's millennium of slavery, still in practice at present day? Should we destroy all their libraries too to keep the world safe from dangerous magics? Why do we only get to tell the Dalish, the nomad nations severely subjugated in present Thedas (If you ever played the previous games and have the context, at least, since this game that happens in Tevinter somehow manages to completely gloss over racism against elves as if it never existed) to destroy a one-of-a-kind, ancient trove of knowledge? And have it be framed as good and safe? As "moving forward"?

If you choose to free the archive, Rook says "The elves deserve the chance to chart their own course" to which Bellara answers "Right. Define ourselves by who we are, not who we were," but once again that writing just makes me question Bioware -- Do they not understand the point of history at all? Do they think indigenous peoples are monoliths stuck in the past if they choose to study the history they lost to colonialism? What purpose do they think that keeping that history and culture extinct serves? Who do they think it benefits?

If you step outside of what the game is telling you as fact and think for yourself, with the context of the other DA games in mind, do you still agree that it's inherently dangerous to keep the Archive? Do you still think these are equally morally weighted choices?

Or would you agree that DAV has to subtly convince you, out of character, that keeping this knowledge is inherently dangerous to make this dichotomy make sense?

Again. This wouldn't bug me if they just owned up to the fact your protagonist can, once again, genocide elves/their culture, just like in previous games. And scapegoat present elves too for the sins of their thousand-years-old tyrants, now suddenly returned (it would make so much sense for characters in the narrative to scapegoat the elves, and for us as heroes to fight against that. But no, they don't even go there except through Bellara's guilt.). It's just bizarre to have an elven historian guiltily agreeing with destroying the Archive and then telling us "The Evanuris broke us and kept us broken" without anyone, either Rook or her, ever mentioning a thousand years of Tevinter slavery and several centuries of Andrastian persecution and subjugation.

No. The Evanuris are the be-all and end-all of evil and everything bad that ever happened in Thedas, ever, can be traced back to them.

[freckliedan]

i'm sorry but if you've only been a phannie since the reniassance you really have no right to be criticizing dan gender posters.

i don't think anyone who got here post revival understands the distinction between "fans crossing the line" vs "fans listening to what dan and phil tell us even before announcing things explicitly and celebrating that". and the way people act like they need to defend dan from people who think he could be trans makes that abundantly clear.

dan especially has been so open about how this community's support is what made it possible for him to accept himself and come out, and that wasn't support that magically appeared the second BIG dropped. it didn't exist only after we got told officially.

the community support of dan and phil's queerness was the way people noticed and celebrated and understood the way they increasingly chose to be vulnerable with us over the years, and the way we shared how they made us feel safe in our identities.

they came out a million little ways before they said the words, but dan did especially: wearing nail polish, going curly, an earring in the gay ear, liking tweets that said he was gay, making increasing gay jokes. the winter before they both came out they tweeted about the bbc calling them a couple and didn't correct it. dan TOLD us in march of 2018 that he had a video planned for june that was relevant to the month but not because of his birthday.

they do the telling us with their actions before announcing it in so many other contexts too: moving, announcing tours, etc.

if you trust in and pay attention to their consistant patterns of behavior it's hard to be surprised by dan and phil.

so why is it that this one fucking thing—dan's gender—is not allowed to be posted about in the same way as everything else? those of us who do take so much care in what we say, too, if we ever do anything other than post jokingly. both for dan's sake (nobody forgets this is a public forum) and because the transphobic backlash is constant.

dan has been saying he sometimes wishes he was a girl since manchester. talking about gender since 2009. the gender conversation has been constant as long as dan's been online and we know it's been a constant since early childhood too.

dan said after BIG dropped in 2019 that he considered coming out in 2014 but then started thinking about gender and needed more time to figure it out. and you know how that ended? he did NOT say "i came out because i figured it out". it ended with dan saying that thinking about gender culminated in realizing it's okay to come out and change your mind. that you can be a formless blob. (quote)

and then sister daniel happened, and dan has been increasingly openly talking about questioning gender ever since. and hey: dan and phil commented on the possibility of a gender video from dan during dan's bday livestream. doesn't that sound familiar.

this isn't different from when dan and phil claimed heterosexuality and then were openly not in the lead up to coming out. this pattern of behavior is the same, and the way people are posting is the same, and i've never fucking once seen a dan gender poster cross the line the way people used to.

it's just a different subject.

would the people who get pissed at dan gender posters have been doing the same thing to people who thought dnp were queer before they came out? did you not realize what an rpf community is like because you got here after the fact, or are you being transphobic hypocrites?

why is the possibility of transness something dan needs to be defended from, anyways? it's a compliment and we know dan takes it that way.

figure your shit out. i'm sick of it, especially coming from other trans people. i've had so fucking many trans mutuals bullied off this website and out of this space for openly talking about the possibility that dan might not be cis over the years, and when the same transphobic talking points come from a trans sibling's mouth? it disgusts me.

you don't have to like it or agree with it or engage with it. but can you PLEASE stop acting like you have a moral high ground and are doing something beneficial to dan that he'd thank you for? just fucking block and blacklist and move on.

and know that if dan someday turns out not to be cis, you're gonna have to live with the knowledge that you made things harder for him.

us dan gender posters? we all know we might be wrong and we've had to think about whether we're happy with our actions if that's the case. and i know damn well we'll all be celebrating dan's gender nonconformity just as much for the rest of time if dan remains cis.

we're under constant scruitiny so we've had to self reflect. but i really don't think any of you have. think about your underlying biases. consider the impact a vehement defense of cisness would have on dan if he isn't. and please, for the love of god, let that impact your actions.

[erenstitanweave]

❥HOW WE LOVE III

pairing: various x reader (vi, caitlyn, vander)

rating: giving/receiving love language headcanons

a/n: so, this is officially a new series! please keep in mind this will be my first time writing for all upcoming characters, respectful criticism and advice on how to write them is welcome! SPOILER ALERT!! reblogs and comments are appreciated, hope you enjoy!!

VI

giving:

poor vi, her eldest daughter syndrome bleeds through every aspect of her life (relatable but we move on)

all jokes (are we joking though??) aside, i think vi would be hesitant to love quickly or even love at all

vi isn't someone who shows her love through words though, so i feel like if she really began to care and love you, she would show it though her actions

i feel like her main type of acts of service would be protecting you in some manner, whether it be verbally or physically

she's genuinely afraid of losing you, so the protective nature would be slightly overbearing in cases where she's on the edge, but other than that, it's pretty standard.

quality time is another big one for her, not just because it's also a way for her to trust you, but because she'd quite literally just want to get to know you better

i could see this being the case whether or not you live the same type of life (i.e: being a zaunite or not)

i feel like she's seen enough to know that regardless of what side you're on, experiences vary for everyone, and she'd just want to know yours and through that, open up to you

small side tangent, but she's TOUCHY.

once she's attached to you, so are her hands. they quite literally are always on you in some way, whether that be through subtle touches (i.e: letting her hand graze against your side when she walks past you, her hands lingering too long as she's holding you, etc.) or through much more obvious ones like an arm wrapped around your waist

receiving:

although she is a protecter by nature, this causes her to be very wary of people and not very trusting of just anyone

i feel like she wouldn't just prefer acts of service but she would need it in order for her to begin to trust you

acts of service, subconsciously or not, are vital to slowly letting down her walls and letting her become trust worthy of you, but once they're down, it's game over

we see in the show how she is once she trusts someone, she shakes off the shell she shows the world and just becomes herself.

i feel like she'd love someone who can't keep their hands off her (except in the obvious situations)

even lingering gazes would make this girl WEAK and she knows it, so just imagine what having your hands all over her does to her brain (short answer: she short circuits)

much like vander, i think a part of her craves words of affirmation because of how her past mistakes constantly haunt and consume her being

even though a part of her knows it isn't her fault things turned out the way it did, a part of her mind won't allow her to believe it

even if she never might truly believe or accept this fact, hearing you tell her good things about herself and praise her makes her head spin with this feeling she can't explain, but all she knows is that it's one she'd never let go

VANDER

giving:

vander to me is probably one of the more protective characters in the show and i think his love languages in terms of giving reflect that heavily

i personally think he'd adore quality time the most, being the man he is, he doesn't really get much time to himself outside of his kids and dealing with the Lanes

it doesn't really matter what kind of quality time to him either imo, i think he'd be most comfortable with just being in your presence, even if you two aren't saying anything

one of his favorites moments though, is seeing you with his kids

he adores seeing you with them, the sight warming his heart knowing the family he works so hard to keep together is happy

words of affirmation i can see being another huge one for him, he'd definitely let you know that you're doing good in whatever you may be doing or even just making it through each day

he'd often pull you aside to let you know though, wanting his words to only be for you and not the prying eyes of others (or the kids potentially listening in on you both)

i could see vander being into physical touch, but only very slightly if it's in public

if you were behind the bar with him, he'd ever so slightly graze the small of your back with his palm or subtly grab onto your waist as he cleaned off the bar

he's an asshole though (lovingly, of course) and would do this especially if you were talking to someone just to get a laugh out of it

he'd be extra careful with this though, as he knows that he constantly has eyes on him, ones that could be dangerous to you if he overdoes his affections

receiving:

i could see vander loving words of affirmation in return, he definitely needs to hear that he's doing a good job taking care of his kids (especially when he feels like they fuck up because of him)

i also can see him holding a lot of doubts about past decisions in all aspects, so just hearing you tell him that he's doing good and that everything will be alright grounds him more than anything

even just telling him that he's a good father, even with his faults and past mistakes will make him feel so much better, no doubt making him fall for you even more than he thought possible

he's the biggest sucker for physical touch too, especially really subtle ones just for the two of you

don't get him wrong, he loves big gestures of physical affection, but he's not alone with you often, making the subtle ones happen a lot more often

he definitely loves holding hands and interlocking fingers especially, the latter being the one you two do more often when around most people

but when the last drop is closed to outsiders and is usually just benzo, the kids, and yourselves, he's all over you

he'll mostly have you in his lap if you're not off with the kids, or just hugging you from behind

CAITLYN

giving:

this girl is a bit of a tough one for me i won't even lie, but she's very well meaning in most aspects

i feel like she'd be into quality time and gift giving honestly

hear me out though, living in piltover her whole life and only recently seeing for herself how the world is and how things can change in an instant makes me think she'd gravitate towards spending time with you in one way or another

it doesn't even have to be explicitly spending time together either, just the fact that you'd be near her would be enough, especially if you're close enough to where she could protect you if need be

her protective nature is one reason why time with you is so sacred to her, not only that she'd be able to cherish her time with you, but that she'd truly be able to appreciate life in it's entirety

the gift giving aspect simply stems from her being wealthy (well not really)

i just see her as someone who expresses herself and what she wants to say with actions, and those actions are gifts

doesn't matter what you like honestly, she'd get it somehow. luxurious clothes? boom, right there on your shared bed. foods or sweets? she somehow has the entire stock right in front of you with a small smile on her face

both of these, to me, just stem from her innate desire to make you happy

she wants to give her lover the world, and with all she's seen in such a short amount of time after being spoonfed certain things about the world, she wants to make sure you're happy with her for as long as you both live

receiving:

receiving is a slight improvement but honestly she screams physical touch and words of affirmation yearner

think about it, being as skilled as she is, she's probably gotten praise about it from everyone

from you, though? it's way different in her mind, especially if you actually talk about why you give her the praises you do

she's expected the praise by now, but to her, it'd feel different because with you, it didn't feel..obligatory or forced

it wouldn't feel like the stuffy, fake pleasantries she'd be used to being in such a high place of power all her life, but something much more sincere and loving

she'd crave it, even going so far as to push herself beyond her limits just to hear you praise and support her for doing so

physical touch to me is another big one for her, i could see touching being a huge factor for her simply because of the intimacy

she most likely has never had anyone as close to her as her lover, so the sheer intimacy with even the slightest of touches knowing that she will only allow this from you is mindblowing for her in the best ways possible

[creatorofarcadia]

It's been a while since I watched Supernatural, so don't take my opinions as gospel or anything. But I think Dean is self-hating to the point of narcissism in some ways. Don't get me wrong, I empathise with Dean and understand why fans largely do too. But his self-loathing warps his perception and becomes the centre of EVERYTHING and at times that really has ripple effects on those around him - particularly Sam.

Take their childhood, Sam has a right to mourn the fact that he didn't get a normal childhood. He's allowed to be angry that he didn't get a home, a present father, a stable community, and consistent education. But whenever Sam attempts to express his complicated feelings about his childhood, Dean immediately interprets it as ' oh I was supposed to look out for you. Are you saying I failed? Are you confirming I'm worthless?' which grinds the conversation to a complete halt. Because of Dean's intense self-criticism, Sam can never really be 100% honest with him or ask for support with his own issues, especially regarding their childhood. As anything outside of 100% gratitude just becomes another stick for Dean to beat himself with, and the conversation is immediately derailed.

Not only does Deans self-hatred mean that Sam's expression of his own experiences are pretty consistently shut down. In some ways, I think Dean strips Sam of his autonomy - he's so self-loathing, he sees every decision Sam makes as being about/a reaction to him. A good example of this is Stanford. Rather than understanding Stanford for what it was, an attempt by Sam to carve out a better life from himself and escape hunting. Dean views it as betrayal or abandonment, some re-affirmation of his own belief that he's not worth caring about. Rather than understanding it's a rejection of hunting, he sees it as Sam rejecting him. To Dean, Sam isn't attempting to find a better life, he's punishing the family.

Overall, it's interesting that people largely and rightfully sympathise with Dean due to his self-hatred. However, I don't see as much discussion about how his self-hatred doesn't just hurt him, it hurts those he's close to, as it colours his interpretation of their every action. Dean's self-loathing is always the biggest thing in the room and that has consequences.

[suevi-if]

Lying about what amount? What exactly are you referring there? - you said it was 5 female ROs and 4 male. It isn't - it's 7 female and 4 male.

And I didn't realize criticizing and pointing out unfair treatment counts as harassment, wow.

First off, I don't think you can really compare situations like that, but also... I have been through a lot in my life. Even if you were to somehow compare it, you'd lose. - try being gay in a country were it gets you killed if people find out. We have a literal death penalty, which my family fully supports. Our country is also extremely ableistic, which means that getting a higher education is out of question for me, meaning the only job I could get would be minimum wage. And I'm still passed over for those, because again ableism. So I'm fully dependent on my parents.

Also all the people saying "write your own stuff" or "just make a second account" have clearly never had abusive parents. I share a computer with my sister and everything we do on it is monitored. My sister tried to write some (family friendly, only straight characters and the furthest it went was kissing) fan fiction for a TV show and got banned from the computer for nearly 6 months, she was grounded and her phone was broken. Not to mention all the shouting and insults our parents threw at her for being disgusting and impure, or the physical punishment. She's 16.

What do these kind, supportive friends of yours think our parents would do to me if they found me writing something with gay characters in it? The people who will yell at, insult and hit someone for writing a straight couple kissing?And do they really think having an empty account would be better than anon? It's just the same thing but with a different username.

You're back. That's what I call commitment. Sweet. And it's still not even about my own IF. Damn.

Skip this post if you don't want to hear me yapping about a bunch of unnice and very private things.

Note that what I share I don't share lightheartedly. I share it to make you see that we are people with difficult experiences, too. That we, too, deserve basic respect and kindness. That we are not so different from eachother.

And I share my experiences to show that difficult experiences don't give you a pass to be an asshole.

you said it was 5 female ROs and 4 male. It isn't - it's 7 female and 4 male.

Uhm, no. Hate to be that person, you even said it yourself: if you choose both gender selectable characters in @haydenigmatic's AMAZING story to be male, you actually have 5 female ROs and 4 male ROs. (Sorry for tagging you again, Hayden)

criticizing and pointing out unfair treatment

You really think that a story that has more female ROs than male ROs in an environment where we have way more stories with more male ROs than female ROs is "unfair treatment"? Are lesbians not allowed to swoon over some more women for a change? Maybe lesbians should now complain about every IF that has more male ROs? Does everything have to be about you?

try being gay in a country were it gets you killed if people find out. We have a literal death penalty, which my family fully supports. Our country is also extremely ableistic, which means that getting a higher education is out of question for me, meaning the only job I could get would be minimum wage. And I'm still passed over for those, because again ableism. So I'm fully dependent on my parents.

Since we are in a pissing contest now, let me dig up everything I've been through.

My country might not go to these extremes, but my neighborhood might if they find out I am nonbinary.

I've been bullied for 5 years in school, and later I was bullied another 2 years at a job I had.

My mom had lung cancer; the tumor ended up pressing on her heart until it stopped beating. I was 20.

My father had an operation on an artery close to his heart when I was 12 years old. His heart stopped beating during the operation and he was technically dead for a few minutes. He was never the same again after this. He had memory issues as if he had dementia, but the doctors found everything was okay with him.

Speaking of my father, he was a choleric asshole that beat me; also, he gave me and my brother massive insecurities and was the most emotionally unavailable person I know (except for anger, he always expressed that very well in his own way).

My father also had pancreatic cancer. I took care of him for nearly a year until he passed away, even though he was such a massive asshole. Why? Daddy issues.

The tumor pushed against the walls of his stomach and caused internal bleedings. The bleedings got worse and worse until he passed away from blood loss. I was 24; he passed away only 4 years after my mother.

Did you know that you get hallucinations if you suffer from extreme blood loss? I didn't, until I visited my dad in the hospital one day before he passed away. I still have nightmares. It's been nine years.

My brother and me weren't allowed to pursue careers that we would have enjoyed; we were pushed into fields that were not suited for us.

It took me YEARS to get a diagnosis about my neurodivergence. Why? Because where I live, neurodivergence is seen as something only children can have. And if you are not diagnosed as a child, you might as well just live the rest of your life with it, even if it sometimes seems impossible.

My brother, who I live with, doesn't know about me being nonbinary, because I'm afraid that the only person I love will push me away and I will lose my home.

I was sexually assaulted multiple times in my life and raped when I was 21 years old.

I have had exes that manipulated and assaulted me.

I am severely depressed and have been living with suicidal thoughts for most of my life now, even though I never acted on them.

I am in financial debt.

I don't even have friends or a support system in real life.

Yet, despite all of this, I am not coming for random people on the internet who share what they love for free.

In fact, I'm not messaging anyone unless I have something nice to say, and if I have criticism, I word it in a nice and constructive way, so people don't take it the wrong way; I want to be constructive, not destructive.

Despite all of what I've experienced, I don't think someone treats me or a group I am part of unfairly because a story they write doesn't cater to my every whim. And I surely don't attack them just because their story might not be my cup of tea.

I share a computer with my sister and everything we do on it is monitored.

Interesting how you are allowed on tumblr. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt here.

My sister tried to write some (family friendly, only straight characters and the furthest it went was kissing) fan fiction for a TV show and got banned from the computer for nearly 6 months, she was grounded and her phone was broken. Not to mention all the shouting and insults our parents threw at her for being disgusting and impure, or the physical punishment. She's 16. What do these kind, supportive friends of yours think our parents would do to me if they found me writing something with gay characters in it? The people who will yell at, insult and hit someone for writing a straight couple kissing?

Yeah, that sucks. That sucks a lot. And I think everyone agrees with that.

But why are you continuing the circle of hate? The only difference is that you spew online at strangers you don't know. But your words are still hurtful.

And do you really think that bashing/harassing an author (or, at this point, multiple authors) who writes stories you might be interested in is the right move? We write the stories you want to read! We pour our hearts into it and share these stories with you, for free! What do you think would happen if everyone did what you do? Would we still have IFs to read? I doubt it.

So, why are you trying your very best to manipulate me into saying "Oh my god yes, you are right, your harassment is totally justified! It should at least be the same amount of male and female ROs!"

And don't even dare saying you're not. It's very obvious. You are not subtle.

But maybe you don't even realize what you are doing. I'm giving you another benefit of doubt here.

Lastly:

If what you're saying is true, I hope you and your sister get out of the shithole you are in. I hope your parents will see that you are still their son, no matter who you love. I hope your country changes for the better. And I hope you change for the better. Because it is very clear that your situation sucks, and you are hurting, and because of that, to hurt less, you hurt others you don't care about, when you should spread love and try to change something instead.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

Hi Skyen, hope you're well! I'm seeking some advice and since you used to work doing mainly art commissions I figured asking you was worth a shot.

I'm a furry artist and I'm looking into doing commission work as a side gig while I finish animation college, and hopefully acquire enough experience/clients/notoriety to turn it into a full time job once I graduate.

Do you have any advice for someone literally just starting out with fresh accounts and zero following? Especially when it comes to reaching people and getting your first clients, and anything that one should take into account when working with NSFW specifically. Also advice for pricing your work is always useful 😅

No need to answer obvs but I'd appreciate your viewpoint if you want to share!

Got 2 asks on this exact subject so I'll write up what advice I can. One big caveat: I haven't worked as a commission artist for like half a decade at this point, and this job has a tendency to change fast, do not take anything I say as gospel. This is advice from a limited perspective, be critical of what I say and trust your peers and the people you are in community with before you trust me.

building audience

Step one is getting people to notice the artwork you create. Literally nothing else can happen until you have eyeballs on your work, and the most consistent and reliable way to make that happen is fanart. Ideally you'd want to produce fanart in a fandom you are personally engaged with and passionate about and familiar with, and which also has a sizeable community whose attention can help you build recognition and a base of followers.

This isn't always possible, and there's many a working artist who creates work for fandoms not out of deep personal connection, but because the fandom is large and relevant and a good way to capture the goodwill of algorithms and content feeds.

This approach has some downsides. For one, genuine fans can usually tell when someone's engagement with Their Thing is shallow, and for another it can be deeply creatively exhausting to chase the algorithm. I don't recommend this approach, but it is a valid means of building a business.

Another important consideration, especially when you are early in your career, is that volume tends to trump quality. Every artist will eventually learn that their shitty joke-doodle they sh*t out in ten minutes on a whim will get a billion reposts, and their complex personal work that took eight weeks to finish gets 2 likes from their closest mutuals and a comment from a bot saying "wow!"

In the age of the algorithm, what machines and for you pages value is a consistent, high-volume of output that generates user engagement. You will generally get further, faster, by producing a lot of work than you will producing great work. Again, this can be rough on your mental state, and a fast way to burn the fuck out, so please be careful and mind your health before all else.

The best way to build something that will last is to build your audience in communities and around fandoms and themes and ideas you genuinely care about and enjoy exploring and interacting with. Being your authentic self and creating work from your authentic interest is generally both healthier and long-term better for your career than trend-chasing. Treat trend-chasing and volume > quality output as tools in your toolbox, as creative and business decisions you can make to achieve a specific purpose, never ever EVER let them become the center of your praxis or your philosophy. Never ever EVER allow the Numbers™ to be your source of validation and accomplishment.

building business

Ok, so you've got eyes on your work. You've got some followers. How the hell do you get them to commission you?

Well, again, by demonstrating a capacity to create kinds of art for which there is demand. In the furry community, there's brisk trade in things like ref sheets and character design, for example. For most fandoms, ship art is a product which tends to be in demand. Being able to do really good expression sheets is a marketable skill. Being able to create compelling and clear emotes for streamers and creators is a marketable skill.

Showing the capacity to work in a wide range of styles is valuable. Showing the capacity to work in a wide range of genres is valuable. If you can do both comedy and romance your appeal expands. If you can do shonen-like action and angst as well, it expands again.

Equally, being incredibly good at a specific niche is valuable as well. Focusing hard on an under-served niche of work can give you a lot of opportunities to be the Go To person for that specific kind of thing.

Perhaps the hardest part of all of this is marketing yourself. Not only showing that you have the skills, but actively informing your audience that you are available, eager and willing to practise your skill for a fee. You have to sell yourself. It sucks, but you have to do it. You have to advertise what you can do, and you have to suffer the rejection and annoyance that comes along with doing that.

You have to ask people to commission you. You have to raise your hand and demand attention. It's not fun, but it's business.

Walking the line between self-promotion and being a person is hard. I can't help you that much with it, it's a very personal balance to find. Stay in touch with your soul, but kill the part that cringes at yourself.

Ultimately, you best marketing asset is your portfolio. Every time you do work, show it off. Repost it, retweet it, spread it around. If someone is happy with what you've made for them, do your best to make sure that other people see that happiness. Ask your clients (politely) to tag you when they share your work.

Oh, and for the love of god, sign everything you create, slap watermarks on anything that's likely to get reposted, and make it impossible for someone not to find your business email on your profile.

building network

If you're a commission artist, you are in community with other commission artists. You share interests, you share experiences, you share needs.

Practise solidarity. Absolutely seek out professional peers to help your business, but equally seek out opportunities to help them with theirs. If someone comes to you for art and you don't have commission slots open, point them at a colleague who you know can do the work too. Gas up your peers and spread their work.

Be a symbiote, not a parasite. Respect the craft of your peers, and don't chase celebrities and big names in the hope of coasting on their coattails. It will fail.

smut

If you're a working artist, at some point you have to reckon with smut and r34.

These genres are excellent sources of income, and fertile ground to build a business and network of customers. BUT. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking that they are "the easy way" or a shortcut. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking you can simply offer to draw tiddies and rake in the cash.

It's work and graft same as literally any other form of labor, it's challenging on both a technical and creative level, and the audience can sense if you're looking down on them. If you approach this from a position of shame, of "eugh, I'm debasing myself by doing this for rent money," it will not work, and you will lose standing and respect in the eyes of every peer whose support you need to succeed.

Just as in all other forms of creativity, if you treat the audience as morons who will slurp up whatever slop you serve them, then you will attract clientele that agrees with you, and you will deserve the misery they will inflict upon you.

If you are going to work in smut, establish your boundaries and enforce them. Know that good clients will feel safer and more comfortable with an artist who clearly states their red lines and earnest interests than they will with someone who tries to attract more clients by pretending to be open to work that they are actually uncomfortable with.

Never, ever, EVER let a client push you to create work you are not comfortable creating. It scars your soul in both the short and long term.

Also, when working with this kind of content, know the rules of payment processors and know how to hide the nature of your business from them. PayPal should never, EVER know the details of the content you sell with their service. Frankly, neither should your bank, most likely.

Look to your peers for advice and best practises about this. And be meticulous about your bookkeeping.

money

I want to tell you to charge at least minimum wage for your time. I want to tell you to charge substantially more than that, because your labor is specialized and highly skilled.

But the economic reality of commission work is that there is a crushing downwards pressure on the labor price of art, which has only been made more devastating by the rise of generative AI, and especially when you are a young artist just starting out, you're going to find yourself in a position where charging even minimum wage for your time will turn away a huge proportion of your potential customers.

Again, your portfolio will be the greatest argument for the value of your work, but you have to build that portfolio first, and very often that means doing a f*kton of work for not remotely enough pay until the pressure of demand finally works in your favor.

I don't condone or justify this state of affairs. It is horrid and I hate it, but I don't know how to fix it either.

Making a living from content creation of any kind requires you to get lucky, on top of working obscene hours and foregoing rest and vacations. It's not a safe or sensible plan for a career or paying your bills.

My sensible advice is to get a "normal" job you can survive doing, and do your creative work on the side, and resign yourself to the possibility that the creative work may never actually pay your bills.

And that is soul-crushing, but I cannot stomach pretending that hard work and gumption will guarantee anyone a decent living if they just try hard enough.

There are people who are better at every aspect of my work than I am, and they struggle harder and work for longer, and they will never see half the success I have, because I happened to get lucky, and they happened not to. It's wretched.

I'm not telling you not to chase your dreams. I'm telling you to do it with your eyes open, and with compassion for yourself first before all else.

All of this to say: I can't tell you what to charge for your work. It depends on everything from your competition to your niche to your genre to your community to your economic situation. You have to figure it out on your own.

All I can tell you is never forget that your work is worth more than the market will let you charge, and to raise your prices as soon and as much as you can. Try to reach at least minimum wage for your time as fast as possible.

in conclusion

Again, I haven't been a commission artist full time for a long time, please do not take any of this as gospel. Listen to your peers before you listen to me.

But trust me about the solidarity. It will save you when all else fails.