#this isn't me saying that criticism of these things is Never Allowed
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I'm perpetually in awe at the number of people who are well in to their twenties and beyond who still think an on-screen portrayal of something, regardless of nuance or background context, automatically equates to inherent glorification or real-world endorsement of the actions being portrayed.
#nosferatu#nosferatu 2024#orlok#count orlok#robert eggers#this isn't me saying that criticism of these things is Never Allowed#i'm all for thoughtful and nuanced evaluations#but not when it's just boiled down to 'X character did disturbing thing on-screen and that's Problematic!'
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thinking Abt Suguru autism and struggling bc I have forgotten 1. Everything Suguru has ever done 2. Every symptom of autism ever and then I remembered Suguru fucking. Knows every curse he's swallowed. And it's like y'know what maybe I don't have to make an airtight case for this
#JJK#look at this now.#Genuinely I hc that while he hates curses he's also fascinated by them bc I feel like it'd be hard not to be when u eat em#Anyways the main thing that makes me go "🫵 autistic'' is his like. Moral compass stuff#Bc it's very relatable in black/white thinking and potentially issues with empathy (low and high). Which isn't to say the reason he's a#Horrible person w horrible worldviews is bc he's autistic but rather that bc he's in an environment that 1. Is very socially isolating#2. Supports very black/white worldviews and 3. Is obsessed with strength. I'm just saying he probably latched onto those ideas#Very strongly (esp bc this environment he feels Understood- grew up the only sorcerer in his family and prob like. Whole environment)#And in a lot of ways it feels like his morality is formed by ''going through the motions'' like how he keeps saying ''the strong should#Protect the weak'' and also being shitty to Utahime for being ''weak'' and also like. Y'know becomes a weird abusive cult leader#Who views the weak as subhuman. Like it feels like he was taught that and didn't have the context to fully critically analyze#Those ideas and form his own sense of morality and instead he just kept repeating it hoping it would stick or smthn#Also let me be honest. He gives off the vibes of an autistic person Overcompensating for flat affect sometimes. Idk how to describe it#Anyway knowing all ur 4k+ cursed spirits is. Nuts. Is he okay (no)#Also something Abt how. Even though he hates it. He still does his routine of exorcise/absorb even after his whole shit#Something something strong sense of morality + inability to change routine. Idk. And when I say the morality thing I don't mean#That he has a good moral code just that he has a very Intense moral code#Geto has ''girl'' autism#As in he learned to mask and internalize his symptoms#And Gojo has ''boy'' autism#As in he never really had to learn to mask (and likely wouldn't be able to)#Note girl and boy r in quotes bc. Gendered autism is bullshit but I'm specifically thinking Abt Geto being very internal#In a way Gojo isn't. And potentially some like... Resentment/judgement/jealousy bc of it#(like ''why can't you mask better you look like a freak'' internalized Ableism and ''i wish i could b weird the way ur#Allowed to be (bc of powerful family and position in jujutsu)'' beggining recognition of external Ableism#Anyway I could yap Abt Geto and Gojo and how I think they're both mentally and physically disabled#And how while Gojo's privileges (rich + powerful) let him mitigate some effects of Ableism (at the same time his position as a famous#Sorcerer connected to a family with a Reputation definitely is restrictive in its own ways) Geto probably internalized a lot of general#Societal Ableism prior to getting involved in jujutsu and has Not unlearned that shit and ends up externalizing Ableism (lateral violence#Is a term I've been thinking of w him). Anyway Shoko is also autistic and physically disabled and I hc that she isolates herself because of
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Before a wincest shipper or bibro so much as touches this post with some comment about how their corner would never be guilty of something like this: absolute bullshit. Handle the nauseating nonsense in your own house. Your community deals in the exact same pervasive dishonesty within your allegedly beloved epic love story. The bulk of the meta in your community favors Sam in every single conflict and is deeply protective of him but very few of you care for Dean as anything more than a scapegoat and a “little black dress for Sam to wear” when it comes right down to it and I wish you’d just admit it.
I guess I just don’t understand why destiel shippers are so goddamn dishonest about season 6. It’s not remotely hard to see that Cas repeatedly uses Dean without his knowledge throughout the season. But you’d think based on how 90% of destiel shippers talk that Cas was waiting on Dean hand and foot while having his own needs ignored by a callous asshole. That’s literally the story people try to tell you while Cas uses Dean for everything from spells to forced labor to a meat shield for Raphael and Virgil while only showing up when Sam and Dean having a lead on an angel weapon is mentioned.
Maybe I’d understand the laughably dishonest summaries of the season if they made destiel as a whole look better, but they don’t. They just erase Cas’s problems in order to misrepresent and reduce Dean down to a mean friend who doesn’t deserve him. Sick to fucking death of y’alls bullshit.
#y'all crawl on egg shells around deancrit wincest samgirls who clearly hate dean instead of doing a thing#criticizing Sam isn't allowed in your circles without a heaping side helping of deancrit#but you don't have that same energy when people say blatantly false things about dean#you'd rather try to address *MY* bias against sam than deal with your own community's barely concealed spite for dean.#some of you are so deeply bitter that I won’t coddle Sam to protect your delicate sensitivities#while people in your own community call dean a jealous controlling asshole and an idiot and a brute who can't function without his brother#spare me your alleged concern with “fairness”. it's never been real.
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One of my criticisms about Dragon Age, and this isn't unique to Veilguard, is how antirevolutionary their narratives are. (Spoilers for Veilguard ahead, naturally)
Narratively, they're not adverse to all change (since stories have to have some change in order to exist) but they're hardly accepting of it either.
Any change that happens to the status quo has to happen within the system, otherwise it's deemed extremism and wrong in universe.
Contrast that with when Anders or Grand Enchanter Fiona take actions against the systems of the Circles that spark the mage rebellion - they're vilified for it by the narrative and everyone around them. They're painted as fools at best, malicious murderers at worst. All because their steps for change were taken outside of the system. (Anders blows up a Chantry, Fiona starts a vote to disband the Circle of Magi)
In a worldstate where Leliana becomes Divine Victoria and disbands the Circles to allow for the formation of the College of Enchanters, she's celebrated because she stayed within the Chantry, rose to the top through unconventional but still allowable means, yet achieved radical societal change nonetheless.
If Dorian becomes Archon, his anti-slavery views aren't seen as unreasonable or too radical because he stays within the system. His work with the Shadow Dragons - an anti-slavery group, who by all standards aren't that different from the mage rebellion in the south, is deemed different because their leaders are still trying to work with the systems for change.
Solas gets both versions of this anti-revolutionary treatment. In Inquisition, he felt honestly quite reasonable to me in his motivations to tear down the veil, but he can't escape that same vilification as when he's trying to fit the mould of a force for rebellion, he's treated like a monster or has significantly more flaws in the narrative. When his motivations are framed as complete systematic change, he's shown to not view anyone in modern Thedas as 'real people.' In one of his approval scenes in Inq, he goes out of his way to tell the Inquisitor essentially "you're one of the good ones." He's ignorant, racist, and singlemindedly focused on destroying the world to have a second Elvhenan but better.
But in Veilguard, in order for the narrative to consider him redeemable, his reasons for wanting the veil to come down get changed from wanting betterment for the elves and restoring the Elvhen people, into personal regrets he needs to fulfill. He's no longer framed solely as a political, rebellious force for change, but as a mere man who went too far for a woman he loved. Suddenly the narrative gives the player permission to give him redemption. Because he doesn't actually want change, it's just what he thought Mythal wanted, so that's fine and different.
Your player character protagonist can never actually flat-out agree with the vilified rebel characters either. I can't have my pro-mage rights Hawke say "hey, actually, Anders was right to blow up the Chantry, I agree with him," you always have to ultimately condemn his actions, even if you agree with the outcome.
I can't have my Dalish Inquisitor or an Elven Rook say "hey, actually, maybe Solas has a point, this world does suck for elves and maybe the veil coming down would fix that," they always have to ultimately believe that the veil has to stay.
The games do everything they can to avoid letting the player come to the conclusion that revolution is a good thing. Instead, they force the idea that the only way change is ethical is if you do it within the preexisting status quo.
#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age 2#solas dragon age#anders dragon age#dorian pavus#leliana dragon age#bioware
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KEEP MY HEART
goal 30: something wrong
NOTES: this took longer than i thought 💀 anw it was more tamed than i imagined omg yay!! ^^
Scaramouche thought the car ride home was plenty suffocating, but nothing could compare to how heavy the air was once he got home with his mother.
An extensive home that is reasonably far from other neighboring houses, with a spacious lot surrounding the house itself. It could've been such a perfect home — if not for the two broken people living in it.
As his mother remained silent while the two of them exited the car, Scaramouche thought he had at least the whole night to prepare for his mother's outburst. Alas, they haven't even made it to the front door yet, and he had already started hearing something.
"Kunikuzushi."
He merely turned to her, not even saying a word.
"Just what happened?" Scaramouche could not get something from his mother's voice at all. She wasn't yelling — it would be out of character for her to do so anyway. But she obviously wasn't happy either. But at least it wasn't that cold, too?
At a loss for words, the young man forced himself to focus his gaze on one random thing, perhaps the grass peacefully lying on their front yard.
'I'll just have to let her say anything and everything she wants to say, and I'll say nothing. And then tomorrow, we'll just continue like nothing happened,' he thought.
And so he did, letting his mother's words pass through one ear to the other. 'How can you let yourself play like that', 'how can you allow people to see you like that', 'just what would they say about you now', 'this isn't what we trained for'... Nothing he wasn't used to. It was all alright. He can go through another sermon session just fine.
Until he was knocked out of his stupor by a certain statement from his mother.
"Perhaps I should've gotten between you and that companion of yours I saw in the freedom wall. I think she is distracting you, maybe you should stay away from her."
A sudden surge of rage came over him, prompting him to finally meet eyes with his own mother. Ei was slightly taken aback, not used to receiving such a hateful look from her one and only son.
"What?"
The woman could not utter a response, still in shock at the state her son is in. She was so used to him being so indifferent whenever they talk, making it seem as if her advices and sermons have no effect at the slightest.
Meanwhile, Scaramouche, at the lack of response from his mother, could not stop himself anymore.
Scaramouche felt like a balloon — thinned, worn out, and keeping too much inside.
Much more than he could handle.
And his mother's words that night felt like a sharpened needle.
"Why the fuck do I always have to do what you tell me?" He finally snapped.
"What?"
"Can't you see that I'm trying?! And yet you always see something!" Scaramouche gritted his teeth.
"You always see something to criticize! You always see something like a flaw! You always see something wrong!" He yelled, shortly followed by a bitter laugh. "Heck, maybe you even consider my birth to be something wrong."
A swift slap cut him off.
Somehow, the physical pain inflicted by his mother got him out of his continuous outbursts, replacing his seething anger with shock. No matter how cold and strict his mother was, she had never gotten physical with him.
Refusing to believe what just happened, a wondering Scaramouche looked back up to his mother's face — only to see her eyes dripping and her cheeks stained.
'Are those tears?'
'My mother... crying?'
"How could you say something like that Kunikuzushi?"
"How can you treat your life so lightly like that?" Ei sobbed. "Your birth wasn't something wrong — it was the most beautiful thing that happened to me."
The young man just stared at her, probably in disbelief.
"You are my son, a part of me, something even more important than myself —"
"— and that's why I never wish to see you hurt."
"Hah," Scaramouche scoffed. "Really?"
The man could not do anything but laugh ironically. She doesn't want to see him hurt, she says?
'I hate to break it to you mom, but you've been doing that for so long.'
How many lies would she feed him tonight?
"I don't want you to suddenly commit a mistake while playing, put yourself to shame, and be unnecessarily criticized and judged heavily." The purple-haired woman said. "And if that happens? Then what? You'll be so affected by all the backlash, and then you'll finally lose yourself?"
Scaramouche swore he never expected to see his mother cry so hard. In fact, crying was one of the things he thought his mother was incapable of doing. But what was she saying?
Where is she getting all this from?
"What?"
"I don't want anyone precious to me to ever experience that again."
"What the heck are you talking about, mom?"
It was a slip of the tongue, unconsciously going back to what he once used to call the woman in front of him. A slip of the tongue that he failed to catch, but did not go past his own mother, whose memories of the days when he used to call her 'mom' flashed by her eyes.
But before she could even explain herself, someone else made their presence known.
"Your mother had a sister, you see."
It was Yae.
His mother's old friend.
“Have you ever heard of Makoto?” The pink-haired lady asked. Scaramouche could not see the relevance of her question, but he decided to humor her nonetheless. “Who?”
“My twin sister.”
“You had a sister?!”
Scaramouche thought he knew a lot about his mother. But really, is he even qualified to say that he knew her if he knew nothing about her past before having him? Everything he knew about Ei were memories of them together. Her being a loving mother to him when he was little, her having Yae as her only friend, her suddenly changing her parental practices once he started his soccer career — all of them were memories of her after his existence.
Only now did he realize he never knew anything about his mother’s past.
Yae sighed. “How is he ever going to understand if you never told him about Makoto, Ei?”
“It’s too dark of a story. He might not be able to handle it.”
“And you think he can handle your coldness and strictness forever?”
“What, do you want me to discourage my son from his dreams of being a top soccer player by telling him that my twin sister fucked up on a game just once, got so many backlash and became the people’s punching bag, went depressed up to the point that she couldn’t handle it anymore and eventually lost herself?” Ei spat out. “I don’t want to scare him off from achieving his dreams, but I can’t also risk the possibility of him having the same experience as my sister.”
What the fuck?
Merely processing the things he was hearing already required so much from the young man. He could not bear to disturb the conversation between the two ladies, lest there are still some things he should hear.
“So you set high expectations for him?”
“It was the only way I thought of.”
“Have you ever considered the thought that you yourself may actually be ruining his dreams for him?”
“What?” Ei turned her gaze to Scaramouche for a moment, allowing her to once again notice the state that her son was in. Trembling hands clenched into fists, focused yet glossy eyes, and brows furrowed — she couldn’t tell if they were out of fury or confusion. Perhaps it was both.
“You are making your son hate that dream of his that you sought to protect with the way you are treating him, Ei.” Yae walked towards the young man and lightly tapped his shoulder. “What this kid wants is to have fun playing, not play under constant expectations and strictness from his mother.”
Scaramouche looked up at her, who only smiled at him in return. “Isn’t that right, Kunikuzushi?”
He turned his face away from her and immediately swatted her hand from his shoulder. “What would you know about what I want?”
“Oh? But was I wrong?” She grinned. “No response? I must’ve been right then.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re just salty I’m right.”
“I am not?” The guy scowled. “Stop making things up you annoying hag —“
“Uh, excuse me?! What hag?!”
A certain purple-haired woman remained all throughout the banter between her son and her friend. When was the last time her son spoke to her without reservations like that? No, when was the last time they even had a proper conversation, one where he isn’t replying with words not even amounting to a handful?
“Ei, I want to ask you something.” A voice brought her out of her trance. “How do the other players on your team look whenever they practice and play?”
“Tired.” Ei described exactly how the boys on the team looked whenever they were on the field. Their whole beings drenched in sweat, their limbs trembling, their breaths hurried.
But despite everything, she remembered that they were having fun.
“But were they having fun?”
“They were.”
“And how does your own son look whenever he’s on the field?”
For the first time that night, absolute silence reigned over their abode’s front yard.
“See?” The pink-haired woman smiled. “Don’t you want Kunikuzushi to have the same experience as everybody else on your team?”
For the first time, Scaramouche heard the two words he thought he would never ever hear coming out from his mother’s mouth.
“I’m sorry.”
KEEP MY HEART — scara x reader smau
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@kararisa @krnzysh @syriiina @your-kuya-pogi @xiaosonlybeloved @xiaomainlmao @cindywasneverhere @coquettemaiden @sunsethw4 @lunavixia @calickoh @arealistonao3 @youthingazi @zyilas @mondaymelon @yukiipc @heartswonder @st0pthatsgay @ozzierenato @astreaa-express @shewolfmiko @lovelyycherries @myaaones @countessqin @aloveablechaos @letthewindlead @lunaavity @local-blueberry-boy @luminestars @layla240 @useless-potatho @atlaszi @alatusorrow @lahsram2201 @sakiimeo @user11918163805279 @vqazx @neigesprincess @kunicrush @yoursockstinks @hotgirlshit5 @mikctp @crucnhice @apotatouwu @yuaenri @sammybeefangirls @miko1ly @deffenferofjustice @etherisy @sagegreenthinks
#ri.writes#aestherin#keep my heart smau#genshin#genshin au#genshin modern au#scaramouche smau#scara smau#wanderer smau#genshin x reader#scaramouche x reader#wanderer x reader#scara x reader#genshin smau#genshin fics#genshin social media au#genshin soccer au#scara social media au#kunikuzushi#social media au#keep my heart#scaramouche#scara#wanderer#balladeer#balladeer x reader#genshin x you#text fic#6nemo#genshin impact
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i'm sorry but if you've only been a phannie since the reniassance you really have no right to be criticizing dan gender posters.
i don't think anyone who got here post revival understands the distinction between "fans crossing the line" vs "fans listening to what dan and phil tell us even before announcing things explicitly and celebrating that". and the way people act like they need to defend dan from people who think he could be trans makes that abundantly clear.
dan especially has been so open about how this community's support is what made it possible for him to accept himself and come out, and that wasn't support that magically appeared the second BIG dropped. it didn't exist only after we got told officially.
the community support of dan and phil's queerness was the way people noticed and celebrated and understood the way they increasingly chose to be vulnerable with us over the years, and the way we shared how they made us feel safe in our identities.
they came out a million little ways before they said the words, but dan did especially: wearing nail polish, going curly, an earring in the gay ear, liking tweets that said he was gay, making increasing gay jokes. the winter before they both came out they tweeted about the bbc calling them a couple and didn't correct it. dan TOLD us in march of 2018 that he had a video planned for june that was relevant to the month but not because of his birthday.
they do the telling us with their actions before announcing it in so many other contexts too: moving, announcing tours, etc.
if you trust in and pay attention to their consistant patterns of behavior it's hard to be surprised by dan and phil.
so why is it that this one fucking thing—dan's gender—is not allowed to be posted about in the same way as everything else? those of us who do take so much care in what we say, too, if we ever do anything other than post jokingly. both for dan's sake (nobody forgets this is a public forum) and because the transphobic backlash is constant.
dan has been saying he sometimes wishes he was a girl since manchester. talking about gender since 2009. the gender conversation has been constant as long as dan's been online and we know it's been a constant since early childhood too.
dan said after BIG dropped in 2019 that he considered coming out in 2014 but then started thinking about gender and needed more time to figure it out. and you know how that ended? he did NOT say "i came out because i figured it out". it ended with dan saying that thinking about gender culminated in realizing it's okay to come out and change your mind. that you can be a formless blob. (quote)
and then sister daniel happened, and dan has been increasingly openly talking about questioning gender ever since. and hey: dan and phil commented on the possibility of a gender video from dan during dan's bday livestream. doesn't that sound familiar.
this isn't different from when dan and phil claimed heterosexuality and then were openly not in the lead up to coming out. this pattern of behavior is the same, and the way people are posting is the same, and i've never fucking once seen a dan gender poster cross the line the way people used to.
it's just a different subject.
would the people who get pissed at dan gender posters have been doing the same thing to people who thought dnp were queer before they came out? did you not realize what an rpf community is like because you got here after the fact, or are you being transphobic hypocrites?
why is the possibility of transness something dan needs to be defended from, anyways? it's a compliment and we know dan takes it that way.
figure your shit out. i'm sick of it, especially coming from other trans people. i've had so fucking many trans mutuals bullied off this website and out of this space for openly talking about the possibility that dan might not be cis over the years, and when the same transphobic talking points come from a trans sibling's mouth? it disgusts me.
you don't have to like it or agree with it or engage with it. but can you PLEASE stop acting like you have a moral high ground and are doing something beneficial to dan that he'd thank you for? just fucking block and blacklist and move on.
and know that if dan someday turns out not to be cis, you're gonna have to live with the knowledge that you made things harder for him.
us dan gender posters? we all know we might be wrong and we've had to think about whether we're happy with our actions if that's the case. and i know damn well we'll all be celebrating dan's gender nonconformity just as much for the rest of time if dan remains cis.
we're under constant scruitiny so we've had to self reflect. but i really don't think any of you have. think about your underlying biases. consider the impact a vehement defense of cisness would have on dan if he isn't. and please, for the love of god, let that impact your actions.
#jam posts#g?#dan howell gender truthing#im fucking sick of it i'm sorry. i usually don't see the people being weird about it but a friend mentioned someone that was on their dash#and i had to block 2 people.#one of whom has been vaguing me all year with absolutely no factual basis when i have 15 years of reciepts
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It's been a while since I watched Supernatural, so don't take my opinions as gospel or anything. But I think Dean is self-hating to the point of narcissism in some ways. Don't get me wrong, I empathise with Dean and understand why fans largely do too. But his self-loathing warps his perception and becomes the centre of EVERYTHING and at times that really has ripple effects on those around him - particularly Sam.
Take their childhood, Sam has a right to mourn the fact that he didn't get a normal childhood. He's allowed to be angry that he didn't get a home, a present father, a stable community, and consistent education. But whenever Sam attempts to express his complicated feelings about his childhood, Dean immediately interprets it as ' oh I was supposed to look out for you. Are you saying I failed? Are you confirming I'm worthless?' which grinds the conversation to a complete halt. Because of Dean's intense self-criticism, Sam can never really be 100% honest with him or ask for support with his own issues, especially regarding their childhood. As anything outside of 100% gratitude just becomes another stick for Dean to beat himself with, and the conversation is immediately derailed.
Not only does Deans self-hatred mean that Sam's expression of his own experiences are pretty consistently shut down. In some ways, I think Dean strips Sam of his autonomy - he's so self-loathing, he sees every decision Sam makes as being about/a reaction to him. A good example of this is Stanford. Rather than understanding Stanford for what it was, an attempt by Sam to carve out a better life from himself and escape hunting. Dean views it as betrayal or abandonment, some re-affirmation of his own belief that he's not worth caring about. Rather than understanding it's a rejection of hunting, he sees it as Sam rejecting him. To Dean, Sam isn't attempting to find a better life, he's punishing the family.
Overall, it's interesting that people largely and rightfully sympathise with Dean due to his self-hatred. However, I don't see as much discussion about how his self-hatred doesn't just hurt him, it hurts those he's close to, as it colours his interpretation of their every action. Dean's self-loathing is always the biggest thing in the room and that has consequences.
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i have all sorts of criticisms for 911 as a show overall, for the 8x06 bucktommy storyline specifically, and for tim minear as a writer and showrunner. all valid criticisms and things I'm allowed to do as a queer viewer, because it relates to the writing choices, regardless whether they are influenced by external factors such as actor availability, budgets, or network demands and restrictions.
but you won't see me turning on oliver stark like a fucking rabid delusional buddie shipper.
using my logic and basic knowledge about the world of television, i can't put any blame on him for this shitfest. you won't see me coming up with ridiculous theories that he hates lou (#1 buddie talking point since the beginning) or that he got tim to write the episode this way (he's just a bloody actor ffs), that he hasn't done enough to champion the ship (you want him to be a bucktommy warrior?), because guess what?
say he promoted the relationship on his personal instagram, say he hyped it up more in interviews, say he interacted with shippers online or showcased more bucktommy fanworks... and the pair broke up in 8x06? because he doesn't write the show? you could then argue oliver engaged in queerbaiting, because the show did not deliver the queer content he promoted.
and isn't that what he was accused of anyway, before he deleted his twitter? doesn't it make sense that he might want to be careful about this?
and given the harassment he's had to endure from buddie shippers, i find it perfectly acceptable to answer buddie questions diplomatically because we know what those people are fucking capable of. it makes sense to me that he doesn't want to anger them.
at the end of the day, i'm not defending him. i've said before i'm deeply disappointed with his comments in the TVline interview and the way he doubled down in that instagram post. he has lost my respect and i no longer think he's a good ally to bisexual people specifically, because when you are playing a bisexual character, you have the bare minimum obligation to listen when real bisexual people are telling you that you fucked up. yes, i would like to see him acknowledge his wrongdoing and show that he understands the issue and why the things he said were biphobic. no matter how badly he fucked up, he should be allowed to reflect and make amends... because he's a human being and that's what the weewoo show is about. redemption arcs and second chances all around, folks.
but - he's literally just an actor and a celebrity. i expect nothing. i'm not holding out hope. i spare him no mind. i don't hate him and i'm not angry with him because i never idolised him. because i don't know him beyond the persona he shows the world. no one does. we can infer things based on what we see and hear, but there's really no way to know how much of that is his authentic self.
anyway. just my two cents 🫶
#oliver stark#my goal at all times is to never act like a buddie#peace and love#bucktommy#911 abc#send post#911 discourse
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Hi Skyen, hope you're well! I'm seeking some advice and since you used to work doing mainly art commissions I figured asking you was worth a shot.
I'm a furry artist and I'm looking into doing commission work as a side gig while I finish animation college, and hopefully acquire enough experience/clients/notoriety to turn it into a full time job once I graduate.
Do you have any advice for someone literally just starting out with fresh accounts and zero following? Especially when it comes to reaching people and getting your first clients, and anything that one should take into account when working with NSFW specifically. Also advice for pricing your work is always useful 😅
No need to answer obvs but I'd appreciate your viewpoint if you want to share!
Got 2 asks on this exact subject so I'll write up what advice I can. One big caveat: I haven't worked as a commission artist for like half a decade at this point, and this job has a tendency to change fast, do not take anything I say as gospel. This is advice from a limited perspective, be critical of what I say and trust your peers and the people you are in community with before you trust me.
building audience
Step one is getting people to notice the artwork you create. Literally nothing else can happen until you have eyeballs on your work, and the most consistent and reliable way to make that happen is fanart. Ideally you'd want to produce fanart in a fandom you are personally engaged with and passionate about and familiar with, and which also has a sizeable community whose attention can help you build recognition and a base of followers.
This isn't always possible, and there's many a working artist who creates work for fandoms not out of deep personal connection, but because the fandom is large and relevant and a good way to capture the goodwill of algorithms and content feeds.
This approach has some downsides. For one, genuine fans can usually tell when someone's engagement with Their Thing is shallow, and for another it can be deeply creatively exhausting to chase the algorithm. I don't recommend this approach, but it is a valid means of building a business.
Another important consideration, especially when you are early in your career, is that volume tends to trump quality. Every artist will eventually learn that their shitty joke-doodle they sh*t out in ten minutes on a whim will get a billion reposts, and their complex personal work that took eight weeks to finish gets 2 likes from their closest mutuals and a comment from a bot saying "wow!"
In the age of the algorithm, what machines and for you pages value is a consistent, high-volume of output that generates user engagement. You will generally get further, faster, by producing a lot of work than you will producing great work. Again, this can be rough on your mental state, and a fast way to burn the fuck out, so please be careful and mind your health before all else.
The best way to build something that will last is to build your audience in communities and around fandoms and themes and ideas you genuinely care about and enjoy exploring and interacting with. Being your authentic self and creating work from your authentic interest is generally both healthier and long-term better for your career than trend-chasing. Treat trend-chasing and volume > quality output as tools in your toolbox, as creative and business decisions you can make to achieve a specific purpose, never ever EVER let them become the center of your praxis or your philosophy. Never ever EVER allow the Numbers™ to be your source of validation and accomplishment.
building business
Ok, so you've got eyes on your work. You've got some followers. How the hell do you get them to commission you?
Well, again, by demonstrating a capacity to create kinds of art for which there is demand. In the furry community, there's brisk trade in things like ref sheets and character design, for example. For most fandoms, ship art is a product which tends to be in demand. Being able to do really good expression sheets is a marketable skill. Being able to create compelling and clear emotes for streamers and creators is a marketable skill.
Showing the capacity to work in a wide range of styles is valuable. Showing the capacity to work in a wide range of genres is valuable. If you can do both comedy and romance your appeal expands. If you can do shonen-like action and angst as well, it expands again.
Equally, being incredibly good at a specific niche is valuable as well. Focusing hard on an under-served niche of work can give you a lot of opportunities to be the Go To person for that specific kind of thing.
Perhaps the hardest part of all of this is marketing yourself. Not only showing that you have the skills, but actively informing your audience that you are available, eager and willing to practise your skill for a fee. You have to sell yourself. It sucks, but you have to do it. You have to advertise what you can do, and you have to suffer the rejection and annoyance that comes along with doing that.
You have to ask people to commission you. You have to raise your hand and demand attention. It's not fun, but it's business.
Walking the line between self-promotion and being a person is hard. I can't help you that much with it, it's a very personal balance to find. Stay in touch with your soul, but kill the part that cringes at yourself.
Ultimately, you best marketing asset is your portfolio. Every time you do work, show it off. Repost it, retweet it, spread it around. If someone is happy with what you've made for them, do your best to make sure that other people see that happiness. Ask your clients (politely) to tag you when they share your work.
Oh, and for the love of god, sign everything you create, slap watermarks on anything that's likely to get reposted, and make it impossible for someone not to find your business email on your profile.
building network
If you're a commission artist, you are in community with other commission artists. You share interests, you share experiences, you share needs.
Practise solidarity. Absolutely seek out professional peers to help your business, but equally seek out opportunities to help them with theirs. If someone comes to you for art and you don't have commission slots open, point them at a colleague who you know can do the work too. Gas up your peers and spread their work.
Be a symbiote, not a parasite. Respect the craft of your peers, and don't chase celebrities and big names in the hope of coasting on their coattails. It will fail.
smut
If you're a working artist, at some point you have to reckon with smut and r34.
These genres are excellent sources of income, and fertile ground to build a business and network of customers. BUT. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking that they are "the easy way" or a shortcut. Do not ever make the mistake of thinking you can simply offer to draw tiddies and rake in the cash.
It's work and graft same as literally any other form of labor, it's challenging on both a technical and creative level, and the audience can sense if you're looking down on them. If you approach this from a position of shame, of "eugh, I'm debasing myself by doing this for rent money," it will not work, and you will lose standing and respect in the eyes of every peer whose support you need to succeed.
Just as in all other forms of creativity, if you treat the audience as morons who will slurp up whatever slop you serve them, then you will attract clientele that agrees with you, and you will deserve the misery they will inflict upon you.
If you are going to work in smut, establish your boundaries and enforce them. Know that good clients will feel safer and more comfortable with an artist who clearly states their red lines and earnest interests than they will with someone who tries to attract more clients by pretending to be open to work that they are actually uncomfortable with.
Never, ever, EVER let a client push you to create work you are not comfortable creating. It scars your soul in both the short and long term.
Also, when working with this kind of content, know the rules of payment processors and know how to hide the nature of your business from them. PayPal should never, EVER know the details of the content you sell with their service. Frankly, neither should your bank, most likely.
Look to your peers for advice and best practises about this. And be meticulous about your bookkeeping.
money
I want to tell you to charge at least minimum wage for your time. I want to tell you to charge substantially more than that, because your labor is specialized and highly skilled.
But the economic reality of commission work is that there is a crushing downwards pressure on the labor price of art, which has only been made more devastating by the rise of generative AI, and especially when you are a young artist just starting out, you're going to find yourself in a position where charging even minimum wage for your time will turn away a huge proportion of your potential customers.
Again, your portfolio will be the greatest argument for the value of your work, but you have to build that portfolio first, and very often that means doing a f*kton of work for not remotely enough pay until the pressure of demand finally works in your favor.
I don't condone or justify this state of affairs. It is horrid and I hate it, but I don't know how to fix it either.
Making a living from content creation of any kind requires you to get lucky, on top of working obscene hours and foregoing rest and vacations. It's not a safe or sensible plan for a career or paying your bills.
My sensible advice is to get a "normal" job you can survive doing, and do your creative work on the side, and resign yourself to the possibility that the creative work may never actually pay your bills.
And that is soul-crushing, but I cannot stomach pretending that hard work and gumption will guarantee anyone a decent living if they just try hard enough.
There are people who are better at every aspect of my work than I am, and they struggle harder and work for longer, and they will never see half the success I have, because I happened to get lucky, and they happened not to. It's wretched.
I'm not telling you not to chase your dreams. I'm telling you to do it with your eyes open, and with compassion for yourself first before all else.
All of this to say: I can't tell you what to charge for your work. It depends on everything from your competition to your niche to your genre to your community to your economic situation. You have to figure it out on your own.
All I can tell you is never forget that your work is worth more than the market will let you charge, and to raise your prices as soon and as much as you can. Try to reach at least minimum wage for your time as fast as possible.
in conclusion
Again, I haven't been a commission artist full time for a long time, please do not take any of this as gospel. Listen to your peers before you listen to me.
But trust me about the solidarity. It will save you when all else fails.
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Wild how when I call Shipping Culture oppressively pervasive and awful for any Aro/Ace with the gall to enjoy anything on the Internet, I get called a Fun-Hating Killjoy and told to just shut the fuck up or off myself, no matter how mild or polite my comment is. Wild how when I say a character either is textually Aro/Ace or is easier to read as Aro/Ace than Alloromantic/sexual, people start talking down to me like I'm a child who doesn't know anything, saying "Friendly reminder that Aro(s)/Aces can Date/Have Sex too, just like us Normal People!". As if I don't know anything about my own identity. Wild how when I do either of these things or even just say I'm not into a pairing or uninvested in shipping in general people call me fucking homophobic, even if the (at least popularly perceived - let's be honest, people are wrong half the time) genders of the characters is never once made relevant. Even though their reasoning for me being homophobic is lack of investment in a gay pairing they like, and nothing more. Wild how people throw little baby tantrums at even the gentlest criticism of Shipping Culture, or someone choosing not to engage heavily in it. Wild how they have the audacity to ask, with hostility, what the fuck Aro(s)/Aces are talking about when they say Shipping Culture is hostile to Aro/Ace fans, or ask what's wrong with them when they say that they aren't into Shipping.
It's almost like Bigots don't realize they're being Bigots when they do Bigotry, so just saying you're not a Bigot isn't enough. It's almost like Aro/Ace people know what the hell they're talking about. It's almost like we have a fucking point. It's almost like we're valid in expressing contempt and frustration with the constant expectation to engage with Romance and Sexuality at every waking moment, even if we're Romance and/or Sex Favorable. It's almost like we're tired of getting our identities erased, and we're tired of expecting to "act normal", and we're tired of just taking it when Allos use the Favorable members of our communities as a scapegoat for why they should be allowed to totally erase any of our representation just for their "Harmless Queer Fun" - deliberately, and I mean DELIBERATELY, failing to recognize or acknowledge the character's orientation, and how an A-Spec's personal relationship with and expressions of Love are going to look drastically different from an Allo person's - and call us the Bigots when we even glance in the direction of objection.
It's almost like Allo/Amatonormativity are oppressive forces.
Alloromantics/sexuals are constantly looking for any reason they can to call Aro(s)/Aces unloving, unfeeling, frigid, soulless, cruel. Inhuman. They're looking for any reason they can to call us whiny children, stupid, people who "just haven't found the right one", addressing us only as "Works in Progress", or someone who can have their sexuality corrected with the right stimulus - Conversion Therapy and Corrective Rape are okay when it happens to us, after all. Any reason at all to call us heartless monsters. AlloAces are confused children. They can be fixed. AroAllos are manipulative, unfeeling sexual predators. They can't be fixed - just kill them. AroAces are frigid, mean bitches. They can be fixed. God forbid you're Aplatonic. God forbid you're part of the Repulsed spectrum. God forbid you're one of the Loveless. God forbid you hold any pride in your identity, God forbid you don't keep your mouth shut, God forbid you critique the overinflated importance Allos place onto Love as a concept. God forbid you critique something as asinine and juvenile as fucking Shipping Culture. Do any one of these and you've put a bright red, blazing neon target on your back.
Wild how the only real humans amongst us are the Romance, Sex, and Friendship Favorable who put their head down and mask as Allo, and side with the Allos when their fellow A-Specs get too loud for the comfort of their Allo friend's delicate little fee-fees. After all, Vitriol and Harassment are warranted when an Allo's feelings get slightly hurt that an Aro person says, on their own account, to no one in particular, that they're sick of every tag being 80% Shipping Content. Which is a vehemently evil personal attack, clearly.
Wild.
#this whole post is absolutely teeming with venom btw.#if you take personal offense to this then yes this *is* about you actually. now fix it and dont make it any of our problem ever again.#shipping culture#aromantic#asexual#aroace#aphobia#nekro.txt
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Just scroll (or go ahead and block my #dav critical tag) if you don't wanna read me whining abt Bellara's Archive choice again, but I'm not done with the salt.
What bugs me isn't that the choice to destroy the archive exists, it's that the game frames it, through its UI (which is the closest thing we have to a nonbiased narrator in this medium), as equally weighted against the opposite choice.
If they had worded it like this:
"Free the archive (the knowledge will be lost)" x "Keep the archive (the knowledge will be kept)"
With no extra commentary, then that would be better. If you got to be openly racist against the Dalish or openly in favor of the Dalish, period. Just like in previous games.
Bellara says "(the archive would help us) get back what made us who we were," and "With it, we could be that again."
Which is funny because... People don't study history to return to the past. It's fine if Bellara is idealistic and saying whatever unrealistic, grandiose dreams she and Cyrian had, but the Dalish would never (could never) become like the ancient elves again. For starters there is a Veil now. So what it would in fact do is help them understand where they come from, what they've been through, and trace the changes in their culture.
Of course our modern historians and scientists have tried to reclaim lost technology, too. They've figured out how the Romans made their extra sturdy concrete, and scientists in Brazil have long been trying to replicate the extra fertile Terra Preta from indigenous peoples that lived in the Amazon basin, and several South American historians would love to know how exactly the Inca used the quipu as a writing system aside from counting tool, etc... And that's super cool!!! And maybe (but that's a big maybe) the Archive could give the Dalish a technological edge to carve a corner of the world for themselves without the constant struggle with Tevinter trying to enslave them or Andrastians trying to subjugate them.
But I personally don't think anyone's reading Aztec accounts of human sacrifices to replicate the same practices in modern cults, or that there is an army out there utilizing Roman decimation as a method of discipline. We're using different horrific methods of control now, lol.
But let's say a modern general does decide that the best way to punish a battalion for one man's insurgence is to force every group of ten soldiers to violently murder the 10th man.... Do you really think that the fault would lie with the historian who unearthed that information and put it on Wikipedia? Or the insane general that decided to do this? Would modern morality and laws allow for that punishment to be executed? Do you think that the existence of that article online is inherently dangerous and controversial, and that it should be taken down? Do you think this general would have been a good and non-violent general if he hadn't ever read about Decimation? Or is it clear to you that violence and ingenuity are both inherent to mortals as a whole and can't be so easily blamed on the spread of knowledge?
Because it's not clear to DAV. The game (not Bellara, not Varric) words it very unambiguously as a dichotomy: The only safe way to deal with this Archive is to destroy it. Keeping it is inherently dangerous because the knowledge could fall in "the wrong hands."
What Bellara says is "Cyrian is gone because of what that thing knew," and "what about the bad side, the other things we did?" and "We stole the dwarves' dreams."
Again, she gets to say whatever she wants because she's a character and she's an anxious, idealistic mess. Love her for it. I like that she feels guilt here too because she has been established (through her way of dealing with Cyrian's first death) as someone who takes the blame for mistakes she didn't even commit (She certainly isn't responsible for Solas' actions). She's someone who drives herself sick cooking up the most horrific scenarios in her mind, and she's so compassionate she can't stand the thought of being the one perpetrating violence against innocents. Her misplaced guilt and dread are the emotions that lead her to consider destroying the Archive.
But no matter how guilty a young german may feel about the holocaust, destroying knowledge about gas chambers is not what will prevent other genocides from happening around the world. Individual guilt is barely productive.
Furthermore, Corinne Bursche says that DAV gives you a choice between "destroying" or "sharing" elven knowledge, which is not how the game worded it. But the point still stands even if the Veil Jumpers, for some condescending plot reason, completely lost control of this knowledge, or were so flippant as to put everything on Thedas' wikipedia without curing it at all.
Let's accept, too, that the Archive contains knowledge of how to build something equivalent to nuclear weapons, which one could argue is in fact truly dangerous, but... Well. Do you think it's fair that the countries that have nuclear arsenals are some of the most vocal about the dangers of other countries ever developing their own?
Because that's what it feels like, to me, when the game calls elven knowledge dangerous without ever allowing you to question -- what about Tevinter rituals and magic? Tevinter's millennium of slavery, still in practice at present day? Should we destroy all their libraries too to keep the world safe from dangerous magics? Why do we only get to tell the Dalish, the nomad nations severely subjugated in present Thedas (If you ever played the previous games and have the context, at least, since this game that happens in Tevinter somehow manages to completely gloss over racism against elves as if it never existed) to destroy a one-of-a-kind, ancient trove of knowledge? And have it be framed as good and safe? As "moving forward"?
If you choose to free the archive, Rook says "The elves deserve the chance to chart their own course" to which Bellara answers "Right. Define ourselves by who we are, not who we were," but once again that writing just makes me question Bioware -- Do they not understand the point of history at all? Do they think indigenous peoples are monoliths stuck in the past if they choose to study the history they lost to colonialism? What purpose do they think that keeping that history and culture extinct serves? Who do they think it benefits?
If you step outside of what the game is telling you as fact and think for yourself, with the context of the other DA games in mind, do you still agree that it's inherently dangerous to keep the Archive? Do you still think these are equally morally weighted choices?
Or would you agree that DAV has to subtly convince you, out of character, that keeping this knowledge is inherently dangerous to make this dichotomy make sense?
Again. This wouldn't bug me if they just owned up to the fact your protagonist can, once again, genocide elves/their culture, just like in previous games. And scapegoat present elves too for the sins of their thousand-years-old tyrants, now suddenly returned (it would make so much sense for characters in the narrative to scapegoat the elves, and for us as heroes to fight against that. But no, they don't even go there except through Bellara's guilt.). It's just bizarre to have an elven historian guiltily agreeing with destroying the Archive and then telling us "The Evanuris broke us and kept us broken" without anyone, either Rook or her, ever mentioning a thousand years of Tevinter slavery and several centuries of Andrastian persecution and subjugation.
No. The Evanuris are the be-all and end-all of evil and everything bad that ever happened in Thedas, ever, can be traced back to them.
#dav critical#dav spoilers#bellara's main quest spoilers#solas' regrets spoilers#bellara lutare#sometimes i wonder if Bellara should really be a historian lol#sounds like she's thinking more about what they can create with the past tech#than about what they can understand with the past history#I watched what happens in the other path#and got bitter all over again and I had to vent again sorry yall
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the worst parent poll made me realize just how many ppl in the fandom are willing to jump straight into abuse apologia. bc on one hand you have ppl dumbing down crow's abuse to "him just being mean" and on the other end you have ppl saying that curlfeather didnt abuse frostpaw because she sacrificed herself and frost + her siblings love her so she couldnt possibly be an abuser. truly mindboggling stuff take these serious topics away from the fandom asap.
Part of me feels like it's because many in this fandom have a feeling that if a character's actions are abusive, it means you're "not allowed" to like them. Like there's an impulse where if you liked a character, it MUST mean they weren't THAT bad, because you'd personally never like "an abuser."
As if it reflects poorly on your own morality, as a person, that you connected with An Abuser. Understood them, even. Even if it was just a character.
If it's immoral to Like Abusive Characters, of course your reaction is going to end up being abuse apologia. To enjoy something isn't logical, it's emotional, so you will get defensive about it when questioned. When you do, it's not going to be based on logic because you didn't reason yourself into that position in the first place. It's an attack on you as a person.
I feel like that's often the root of abuse apologia in this fandom, and sometimes the world at large; "If I admit that this character/person IS abusive, it means I was doing something bad by liking them, so I have to prove to everyone else that they weren't or it means I'm bad too."
And to that I say... That's a BAD impulse! Grow up and admit you resonated with a character that did a bad thing! If that's an uncomfortable thought, sit with it!
Sometimes abusers are likeable! They usually DO think they're justified in their actions, or doing it for "a good reason," or were just too preoccupied to care. MOST of the time, people who commit abusive actions are also hurt or traumatized in some way. You might even empathize with them. None of this means their actions have to be excused or downplayed.
"Abusers" aren't a type of goddamn yokai, they're people just like you and me. You don't help victims of abuse by putting the people who hurt us in an "untouchable" category.
In fact, all it does is make you less likely to recognize your own controlling behavior. You're capable of abuse. People you love are capable of it, too. People who love YOU can still hurt you.
In spite of how often people regurgitate "It's Ok To Like A Character As Long As You're Critical Of Their Actions," every day it is proven to me further and further that no one who says it actually understands what that means.
All that said; I think it's no contest which one's a worse parent, imo.
They both mistreated their children, but Curlfeather did it through manipulation without verbal or physical abuse. She politically groomed her into a position of power so that she could use her as a pawn. It can be argued if this counts as child abuse-- but it's firmly still under the broad category childhood maltreatment, which is damaging.
(though anon I'm with you 100% at seeing RED when "but she sacrificed herself" is used as an excuse. Curlfeather's death does NOT CHANGE what she did to Frostpaw in life. I think it's a valid point to bring up when comparing her to another terrible parent for judgement purposes, such as in the context of this poll, but I really hate the implication that redemption deaths "make up" for maltreatment.)
Crowfeather, meanwhile, is textually responsible for putting Breezepaw through verbal AND physical abuse, as well as child neglect. His motivations include embarrassment from a hurt ego, revenge on his ex, and being sad because of a dead girlfriend. This abuse drives Breezepelt towards radicalization in the Dark Forest.
You could argue Curlfeather is a worse person for Reedwhisker's murder, but as a parent? It's not even a question to me. Crowfeather's one of the worst dads in WC.
#Recently I've been reading a book on verbal abuse by Patricia Evans#And something I really appreciate about it is the way that it explains the way that abusive people *think*#The way that victim and abuser typically have a WILDLY different view of the world#The most important thing about this book though it how much it stresses that *these impulses are still human*#They play these power games to keep a sense of control in their relationship. It feels GOOD to hurt and dominate their partner.#And even when it describes the worst of humanity and the behaviors that escalate into physical violence--#--the book keeps in mind that anyone could change. But not everyone will. And it is NOT your responsibility as a victim to change them.#Reading it is painful but also very validating.#I wish I'd heard of it several years ago when I was first leaving that relationship lmao#but. How do you reconcile it when one of the most traumatic experiences of your life was an act of love in their eyes?#When it *wasn't* part of a game to hurt you but something they legitimately did in the thought they were protecting you.#You don't even get the satisfaction of having it just be nice and simple. That it was bad and we allll agree it was bad.#Frostie girlie you and me are going out to Carvel's and I'm buying us both a milkshake#warrior cats analysis#child abuse
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Can you do (separate scenarios of course <3)Bachira, Nagi, Chigiri, and whoever else you’d like to add in a scenario where their chubby and soft girlfriend tries her hardest not to be insecure about her body but the insecurity really sneaks up on her a lot? So like, when the bfs find out, not only do they comfort her, but they show her just how much they love and adore her body if you catch my drift <3 Thank you so much!!
❝ ENDLESS ADORATION. ❞
FEATURING. BACHIRA MEGURU, NAGI SEISHIRO, CHIGIRI HYOMA, BAROU SHOUEI
CONTENT WARNINGS. body insecurities + self-loathing + body dysphoria + smut + mean barou + implied fingering + degradation.
NOTES. i'm so sorry it took so long nonnie. it wasn't deleted or anything but i hope you like it, nonnie. thank you for requesting!
SYNOPSIS. don't ever let them catch you being insecure about your body, they had plenty of ways to show you how much they adore your body and you.
BACHIRA MEGURU
“you could be so mean to me, baby.” he whispers. his hands roaming all over to the expanse of your soft body. his bright yellow eyes glowing more than ever at its reflection in the mirror.
he got you trapped from his grip. his arms snaking to your soft middle while his jaw rests on your shoulder. caught in the middle of you criticizing yourself and bachira wouldn't allow that. “how selfish.” he mutters. his teeth grazing at the shell of your ear and it sends the slightest of tremors throughout your body.
you can't help but to tear up a bit. “h—how am i selfish, megu?” you stammer. avoiding your reflection at the large mirror in front of you. you don't want to see yourself nor catch him staring at you with those round eyes of his. so full of life, enthusiasm. confidence. a thing that you will never attain.
“you're selfish for hating, keeping this body that is mine. who gave you that idea, hmm? it's not your place to judge this body that i dearly love and its owner.” he hums, chuckling that it reverberates to your skin and to your aching core. his palm gliding through your stomach lifting the pesky clothing to reveal the stomach that's far from being leaned nor toned. it is round, the excess fat protruding giving you the impression of a pouch but bachira could careless about it. his fingers sinking to the soft flesh, like paws of cat kneading and pressing the fleshiness of your skin.
“what if this cute stomach of yours is flat? i couldn't hold it. what i am going to do with my hands...” he mutters, pinching your stomach then his fingers glides through the skin of your thighs. “this thighs of yours, how is it going to crush me if this isn't that thick, warm me even. so selfish.” prying your thighs open and his hand settles to the mound between them. slender and nimble fingers brushing through your panties. rubbing your slit and a huge grin plastered in his face when the wetness of your fat pussy began to drench your panties.
“don't be mean to this body of mine, baby. perhaps i'll show you what i'm capable of to make those silly ideas forming in your head disappear.” he says, pressing a chaste kiss to your round cheek.
“i hope you can take me cause i ain't stopping.” bachira's eyes glowing more than ever and you know what it means when he get this riled up. his grin wider and you braced yourself. you know it all too well and you accepted it.
those thoughts of yours wouldn't be visiting you anytime soon after bachira had fucked you into oblivion.
NAGI SEISHIRO
nagi isn't insecure.
the word is foreign to him and the feeling of it. he's lazy, unmotivated and such unwanted thoughts isn't welcome and worth worrying over. why would he bother with such thing when in the first he didn't care. that's what he thought until he met you.
his soft, chubby girlfriend who had been nothing but loving and supporting to him. nagi didn't quite the gist when he caught you staring at yourself in the mirror with a frown in your lips. he only looks at you briefly before going back to his console. paying it no mind since when did nagi felt of being insecure.
then it began to affect him and yours. mostly yours. when you began to push his affections.
“seishiro, not now please.” your voice coming in a low whisper. gently pushing your white haired boyfriend in his head. shifting into more of a comfortable position in your bed. nagi groans, lips curling into a frown. a rare occurrence of him. he doesn't get upset since he don't like giving things the benefit of his time when he can give it to something more important.
he doesn't stop though. his huge build hovering above yours before putting his whole weight to yours. “sei!” you scolded him but nagi didn't listen burying his face in to your neck. nuzzling like a cat, he's almost purring from it.
he shakes his head. interlocking his fingers with yours. placing it beside yours and you were left powerless against your boyfriend's overwhelming strength. his lips finding refuge in your neck, tongue moving to lick the soft spot of your neck.
this isn't nagi who would make an effort to go down in you. well, at times when he's feeling it. the need to show you how much he loves you.
“pretty.” he murmurs. his hand now holding your thigh even though his large palm engulfs the majority of your thigh it wasn't enough to cover how big it was. placing it beside his torso grind his bulge to your cunt. “i always need you, want you.” he says. pressing a sloppy, lazy kiss to your lips.
nagi isn't good at words but he's willing to try for his soft, chubby girlfriend. it would be troublesome if he can't get his girl out of those thoughts of hers.
CHIGIRI HYOMA
chigiri's blessed with his looks that every people that within his eyesight cranes their neck to marvel at his looks. it didn't matter that he was rather feminine than other girls and he gets teased a lot by the guys around him. he just take after his mother.
there's no time to feel inadequate at things let alone how he perceive himself. he couldn't remember when the last time he felt insecure or been really insecure about himself and then he fell in love with you or it is that how being in love is. he have you and he was contented at that and being with you. he has to fight the battles that dwells inside you and chigiri isn't good at it. comforting another human being even it is his significant other.
so he tries. sees your eyes brimming with tears whenever he calls you pretty and he's confused.
“i'm not chigiri! look at you, you're beautiful and i'm not, you're lying.” he was taken aback at your outburst at him but he is quick to wipe your tears away while he whispers the very words that comforts you.
his sweet, crybaby.
“so, i am but you will always be my pretty baby.” brushing the loose strands of his reddish pink hair to see you better. he kisses you desperately like you were the air to fill his lungs to breathe again and you both stared at each other. he smirks when he sees you're already in a daze. mind spinning and only you can think is him.
his nimble fingers working through the garment of your panties. toying with hem before pulling at it downward to show that pretty pussy he's deprived of.
so he pumps his finger full in in your sopping hole. watch as it drips with slick coating his fingers. hear that delicious squelch while he stretches you. his ego inflating the more he hears you moan, call his name in the same breathy way that got you begging from him. all your insecurities dissipating like bubbles from the way his fingers stretches you out. he could do this forever.
wait until he fucks you dumb. you will forget those stupid insecurities along with your name.
BAROU SHOEI
barou doesn't play nice nor comfort you with those silly, sweet words that one needs to hear when in a struggle of battling with themselves. he simply doesn't need to play nice and comfort you and what only to question it again.
his actions says otherwise. he got you on all fours, your ass raised in a position you never knew you could. his hands gripping your round stomach so tight while he pounds you from the back. it is relentless. the groans and the moans mixing with one another while you hold tightly in his muscular arms his other hand cupping your jaw. forcing you to look in the mirror.
“you are nothing but my cocksleeve.” he says in between grunts. his red eyes glimmering, peering at his girlfriend who is currently sobbing, moaning like a broken record while tears streamed down at her round face. you whimper at what he just called you.
“you are. there's no denial in that. look at you, crying a baby and yet your pussy squeezing me like a whore.” the words stung and he spoke it the way he means it and barou isn't known to lie. his tongue made of barbed wires that is meant to hurt, talk about how awful everyone and you believed it that you are his own for him to use. your cries a little louder and thick droplets of your tears falling from your eyes.
it's funny how his words hurt you and it works like magic forgetting your earlier dilemma of hating yourself, of hating the body you live with.
you let him. bruise your body with his thrusts, with his touch. if this is the only way to forget everything so be it.
and so he did. he breathes in your cheek. growling at the way your cunt clenches tightly around him. you did feel so good to him. he cups your jaw harder, squishing it with much strength that you can't speak. your body reeling in sensitivity that you failed to notice how he pays attention to your soft bits. particularly to the parts where it leaves you frowning and he loves every part of you.
that's why he gives them the love, the care that you will never bother to give but available to scrutinize and he's filling out that so one day, you'll stop looking at them that they've wronged you and barou isn't the one to get mushy. he is still the hotheaded, competitive, bulky man that would not admit he loves you but his actions tells another story.
with the tight squeeze of your cunt around him, he finally reaches his high. yours and his orgasm hurling at you both that he can't help but to bite your shoulder and you — only a broken moan that music to his ears.
if this is the only way to shut you up and comfort, he'll do it over and over again until you can't speak no more and your eyes are brimmed with tears.
#♱ ⋮ shai's works⸝⸝#chubby reader#blue lock scenarios#blue lock x reader#blue lock smut#blue lock#blue lock x chubby reader#bachira x reader#blue lock bachira#bachira meguru#nagi seishiro x reader#nagi seishiro#nagi x reader#chigiri x reader#chigiri hyoma#blue lock barou#barou shoei#barou shouei#barou x reader
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I have gotten so many messages from folks who see what's happening to Jews right now, how literally any statement from us that isn't straight up "death to Israel!" "tear it down!" "river to the sea!" etc. - no matter how tempered in other ways or critical of the Israeli government it is - anything even mildly supportive of the terrorism victims/their families in their grief and/or Israelis deserving to live is getting dog piled to an absurd degree. And yes, that primarily targets Jews (because we're the ones primarily speaking on it) but it definitely is also hitting anyone not Jewish who says this as well. Immediately, overnight, the left has made any position that respects everyone's human rights and allows Jews room to grieve our murdered and missing family and friends without telling us they deserved to die in terrible ways completely radioactive. Like literally even the most milquetoaste statement attracts numerous hysterical commentators. And because it's so toxic, people are afraid to speak up.
And I've now heard from a lot of gentiles that they had no idea how deep the rot of leftist antisemitism went, how they've been seeing this unfold with horror, and are afraid to speak up.
Here's what I'll say: those messages give me a lot of strength, because they help me remember that I'm not insane, that this is horrendous, and we are seeing in real time exactly who would have helped the Gestapo find us if they were sufficiently convinced that this is "decolonization." That yes, the backlash really *is* that bad. I hear that affirmation and I appreciate it, and I understand your fear, because it was mine too. I myself strongly considered at the beginning not saying anything about this until I could do so without being harassed. (I decided against that because I am physically incapable of shutting up when it pertains to my people, but I understand the sentiment.)
Here's the thing: this is never going to end - those people who take seriously the question "are Jews people?" are going to be the vocal minority unless and until we all speak out. Jews are 2% of the US population and 0.2% of the world's population - there are literally more self-identified Nazis in America than there are Jews. I would honestly be surprised if there weren't more horseshoe theory leftists in the world than Jews also.
That being the case, we really do need our allies to speak up with us. I think if we all spoke up at once, it might be enough to break the silence-taken-as-agreement and shame everyone but the avowed antisemites (rather than the thoughtless and opportunistic ones) back into keeping their antisemitism under wraps. Which does have the effect of bringing the mob under control. Jews have faced a ton of mob violence in the form of pogroms throughout our history and backlash to Jewish victimhood. (Tl;dr - "How dare you make me consider how I might have benefited from or been complicit in hurting Jews? This is actually the fault of the Jews." is a disturbingly common thought process.) (You may also be wondering what I mean by "opportunistic;" I can explain in another post if people are interested.)
I know it's scary. I am well aware that you might lose friends from this. I personally decided that if those "friends" valued Jewish lives so little, they were never my friends to begin with, but it's different for non-Jews. They may genuinely be your friends. I'm not demanding you do this for me or my community, but I am asking you to consider what your line is for your friends. And if you are able to talk to them, to ask them what makes this group different from all other groups in terms of deserving compassion and human rights, it may just help us to quiet the mob.
And, if nothing else, just privately reminding those of us who are speaking about it that we are grounded in reality and compassion helps combat the mass gaslighting going on.
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If you'd allow me to be critical of arcane s2 for a bit, my biggest issue with the final battle is that if you analyze how things ended up the way they did you realize it's literally all Piltover's fault. Why did Ambessa manage to gain power within the city? Because Piltover eagerly embraced fascism rather than reckon with the oppression that caused Jinx and Zaun to strike back. Why did Ambessa team up with Singed? Because Piltover unjustly arrested half of Zaun which caused Singed to call on Warwick, alerting her to their existence. Why did Ambessa team up with Viktor and his army of robots? Because Piltover and Caitlyn led her right to them.
Piltover did everything wrong. Literally none of this is Zaun's fault and yet they're expected to 'be the bigger person' and team up with their oppressors against a common enemy-- who is only a threat because Piltover is so stupid and discriminatory that they fell into her trap.
Despite this, the Zaunites don't get the independence or liberation they craved. I wouldnt mind if this was commentary on how lower classes can do everything right and still get nothing. But it isn't because they don't even get scenes showing how they feel about any of these developments. They're not allowed to express thoughts or show agency.
The most egregious example is how Sevika ends up on the council. We know this is antithetical to her character since she despises Zaunites who roll over for Piltover, which is why she betrayed Vander to join Silco in the first place. I'm actually not opposed to this from a plot perspective because you can do something interesting with it. Was she backed into a corner or did she change her mind on how to achieve Zaunite liberation? Did Zaunites ask her to do it or did she volunteer herself? We never know because she doesn't even get a voiceline, not even a silent scene of her interacting with them. You can say "show don't tell" all you want, but they don't even show it.
I am aware that expecting the company behind League of Legends to be good at class commentary and sociopolitics is like losing chess to a dog. My expectations were low to begin with. However I didn't expect it to be this bad.
#the sevika treatment was just terrible im so sorry they did this to you beloved#arcane critical#my post#sevika arcane#arcane sevika
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I have to request again you keep me alive at this point!
Can we get some angst, maybe reader gets injured while Soshiro is away from base and he rushes back to base while she’s in critical condition praying she’ll be okay in the end and at the same time devastated he wasn’t able to protect her???
Hello again! Very pleased to be keeping you alive. Have some more life.
Whole World
You're Soshiro's whole world.
You're his whole world and at this moment, his world appears to be crashing down on him.
He can't even think straight enough to drive, and he doesn't want to drive anyway. Driving isn't fast enough. He commandeers a helicopter and pretty much kidnaps a pilot, trying his best to rush to your side. He'd grow wings himself if he thought it'd get him to you faster.
You're his whole world, and when they told him you had been badly injured and were now in critical condition, he felt that world trembling, he felt the ground splitting beneath him, the earth swallowing him whole, the magma eroding away at his body, at his heart.
He spends the entire agonizing flight fidgeting with his fingers, with his seatbelt, with anything he can get his hands on. He'd pull his own hair out if it'd distract from the pain throbbing in his chest. He wonders why this flight is taking so long. Why he's so useless. Why he's so far away from you. Why did he allow himself to ever be this far away from you?
He knew it would be difficult to be far away from you, from the moment he saw you waiting by the door for him in just his t-shirt, all drowsy and sleepy-eyed, but still eager to give him a proper goodbye kiss and wish him safe travels before he left, but he didn't know it would be this devastating. He wasn't supposed to be gone this long. And you weren't supposed to be gone by the time he got back.
Would you hold on for him? Could you hold on for him? Was it even physically possible? Or were you too far gone? Would he get to say goodbye? Would he even be able to bring himself to say goodbye? Would he just die right there beside you once he saw your lifeless body?
His thoughts grew louder and louder in his mind until he couldn't even hear the buzz of the helicopter's blades, just the deafening sound of despair echoing in his ears. He thought his eardrums might rupture from the devastation, might bleed from the heartbreak.
He gets notice while he's still in transit that you've fallen into a coma and may never awaken again. And now the only thing waiting for him in the hospital is a difficult decision- to keep you afloat, limp and lifeless, or to send you off to the paradise you deserve. He wonders if he'll go to hell for depriving you of heaven, because he doesn't think he can send you off. He doesn't think he can let you go.
He thinks about how selfish he's always been, how selfish he was when he first claimed you as his own and then kept claiming you everyday since, and how selfish he is now, even when you've almost passed, clinging to you until the very last second.
Will you forgive him if he can't live without you? Will you forgive him for not being able to save you? You always forgave him when he couldn't forgive himself. He doesn't want you to forgive him, he just wants you to be here. He just wants you to be waiting for him when he gets to the hospital, griping to him about how shitty hospital food is. He just wants to be able to say he'll take you home and cook you something even better, something fit for a queen.
He wants to hold you, spoil you, love you. If he could, he'd hold you more, spoil you more, love you more. He'd do better, he'd be better, he'd be anything you wanted, anything you needed, as long as you were still alive to need him.
When he gets to the hospital, he runs to you. As he takes sharp turns around every corner, sprinting down every hallway, he wonders what he's running for. You won't be there waiting for him, you won't be ready with a smile. But he runs anyway, desperate to just be near you again.
When he realizes that you are in a coma after all, that it wasn't all just some bad dream, he collapses beside your bed. He can't think of anything to say at first, and then all of a sudden he's rambling, and now he can't stop saying things. He sounds crazy and he doesn't care. You always liked his crazy. You always matched his crazy. He needs you to come back and be his again and he'll beg you on his knees if he has to.
"Please, I need you. I'll quit my job, I'll retire, I'll give you as many babies as you want. I'll buy you a nice house, the one that you wanted that I said was ugly. I'll teach our kids how to ride bikes. I'll cook every single meal. You don't even have to lift a single, gorgeous finger. I'll do it all. Just please, I need you. Come back to me. Please. Please. I'll do anything. Just please."
He murmurs please over and over again until he's forgotten what the word even means. Until he's forgotten how to say anything else.
He grips your hand tight, squeezing it to a beat, like the sensation will remind your heart what its job is.
Then his heart beats once. It beats again, this time louder. Then it gets louder and louder in his ears and he wants to tell it to shut the fuck up so he can just be in this moment with you but then he realizes it's not his heartbeat he's hearing.
It's yours. On the monitor. It's increasing.
He starts rambling again.
"I'll change my hairstyle, if you want. I'll get a new hobby. I'll learn how to use a gun right. I'll learn how to bake that dessert that you like. I'll fix the fence when it breaks, fix the pipes when they burst. I'll be dependable. I'll be there for you. I'll never leave you. I'll never leave your side ever again. I'll handcuff myself to you. I'll superglue myself to you. You'll be so sick of me and it will be fine because you'll be alive and I'll love the shit out of you every second of everyday, so just PLEASE."
He pauses but all he hears is the hum of the machines, the clatter of nurses running by. Nothing he wants to hear. Not your voice, not your laugh.
He thinks he might drown in his own tears and that would serve him right.
Then a weak voice splits through the thick air.
"I... I quite like your... your hair. Don't... don't change it."
His head snaps up.
He doesn't even bother to wipe the flow of tears from his face as he throws himself at you.
"S-still... injured... h-here."
He laughs and releases you slightly, though still clinging to you, still needing to be near you. "Injured is so very much better than dead. Thank god."
"Also... as much as I'd love to be handcuffed by you... I don't know how I'd like being handcuffed to you for life. And let's skip the superglue, yeah?"
He laughs again and when you laugh, though weak, the sound gives him hope and gives him permission to keep laughing, to keep enjoying this moment with you.
"So don't ever leave me again and I won't have to resort to such drastic measures, okay?" He kisses the top of your head and then he kisses your nose, your cheeks, your lips. He keeps kissing you all through the night but you never get tired of it. You don't even wave him off when the nurse comes in to check on your vitals and is shocked to see you sitting up in bed, with your husband's lips trailing paths all over you.
You're just glad to be alive and nothing makes you want to live more than he does.
You're his whole world.
But he's yours too.
#kaiju no. 8#soshiro hoshina#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina#anime#oneshot#hoshina soshiro x reader#hoshina x reader#anime fanfic#han's library
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