#this isn't even close to the worst take i've seen. thankfully this one only had abt 60 notes

[bronze-bell]

Aesop feels the gasps, the coughs, the tears, and he can't help but feel himself shaking. Can't help but feel so, so unprepared to help Victor with... everything. A hand moves behind Victor's back, slowly, softly. In Aesop's mind, however irregular one's work under a title, the title was still the same. Whether weapons or mail, a postman was a postman. Then again, the former had... much higher odds of being a shot messenger. Which appears to have happened, in the figurative sense. "...I understand what you mean."

At least he could understand the uncertainty of being a favorite. It was only himself and Jerry, yes, but... he knew all the questions that bubbled within him, the questions he choked down and forced into recesses he thought he wouldn't be able to reach. He learned all his skills there, he had made sure he knew how to please Jerry, the one constant in his life, he had internalized so much instruction. And yet... A favorite tool is still a tool, used more, chipped and damaged from all the times it sees action. "I... wish I knew. Even a favorite can... never be g-good enough..." Aesop's hand around Victor's back clings tighter, more desperately. These memories are uncomfortable, they scrape and create friction in all the worst ways.

Frederick sees the two breaking, sees the collapse of two instead of one, and awkwardly scoots closer, unsure if he's intruding, but fairly sure he should at least try to say something. "I... can't say I know who he is, but... I doubt he's here. I doubt... any of them are."

He forces himself to breathe, to pull himself back, to steel himself to talk again. They don't understand, can't understand when he stumbles over himself like a fool because his throat is closing up even without stitches to seal the inside off.

"I d-don't know- if you c-could..." he takes a gasp of air in before continuing, trying to clear his throat. "You h-haven't s-seen w-what I've— what I've b-been forced to- to read, b-been forced t-to tell people..." Every syllable is sharp, trying to be as clear as possible to stop himself from becoming completely incoherent. He doesn't think he could handle saying it again.

"I- I- I was g-good en-enough, once... He l-liked me, t-the others— D-didn't hate me... much..." he trails off, distracted, blinking tears from his eyes. To be honest, he really just wants to be buried in Aesop's comfort again, like a particularly clingy tap made to soak the poor gentleman through, but he restrains himself with difficulty.

"T-they seemed- t-to like messing... w-with me... Trying t-to get me to..." To crack. To break. Just like he is now. He makes a noise at the realisation hitting him again, a choked, ugly thing, not meant to be coming out of the mouth of a facade built up like this. His ears are buzzing with static as he buries his face in his hands, desperately trying to hide from the world. Frederick's words ring in his ears, and they dig their fingers into him, widening the cracks in his heart.

"h-he's dead, I killed h—" His brain seems to snap his vocal chords shut like a trap, and he is reduced to silence again. He thinks he's said enough, thankfully. Now to wait for the reaction...

Please let it be sweet. He can't handle it if it isn't.

[nassilove]

Comfort after S/O dies

-------------

Relationship status: Best friends

Age group: 30’s

Setting: Tetsuo visiting Arumi

Friends location: In Japan (Mitsuaki), in Britain (Goldie & Chihiro)

POV: Arumi

Word count: 2,4k

-------------

(NOTE: Nihonshu means “Japanese sake”, since “sake” is an umbrella term for alcohol.)

The news shook her, he could easily tell. She has been so quiet lately. It reminds him of the first few days after their meeting.

It's not like it didn't affect him either, he was friends with Leon too, it was pretty much mandatory. He was so charming and friendly, reminding him of another friend they have. That must've helped them get along.

It wasn't like everyone didn't know it could happen, everyone just tried to ignore it and hope for the best. He isn't a stranger to that. Far from it. Thankfully, Arumi seems to be in decent condition considering the circumstances. It's hard to gauge much considering her hand is halfway blocking his view of her face and her eyes are closed. Her body isn't blocked. It looks slack at first glance but is rigid in actuality. She seems tired but not that sleep deprived, she still eats, even if just a little, since there's a bowl of something on the counter.

All he needs to do is lift her mood. He isn't… good at this. He knows more than anyone how bad he is at this part. He's not bad at normal comfort but this is trying to help someone get over loss. He's not used to it.

“Hey Rumi,” At his voice, her eyes open to look at him with that blank judgemental gaze, he could feel the hairs on the nape of his neck rising. Remembering some of the worst mistakes he's ever made. He tries to shake it off and get his head together, it doesn't matter. It's in the past, can't change it now.

She must be in worse condition emotionally than he initially thought, normally she had control over that stare, only doing it as an intimidation tactic, he's surprised he can think about that, normally even people with more resolve than he's ever seen in his life ends up crumbling, but he's… Mostly fine. Maybe. Still a little shaky but okay. She must still have some control.

Tilting her head at him, her eyes widen in realization, “Ah…” she closes her eyes. “Sorry.”

Shaking his head, both to clear his mind but also to say that the apology was unnecessary, he goes over to sit in the chair across from her, just to see her face clearly. She's looking at him with her head tilted, eyes going back to normal.

Now that she isn't looking at him with the hair raising gaze and her hand isn't in the way, he can see how red her eyes are, her iris was already a deep red but now her sclera is too. Her breathing is normal but she looks so sad. Her head tilting, mouth partly open as she looks at him with wide puffy eyes and furrowed brows.

“Hello Tetsu… How are you?”

“I think I should be asking you that, Rumi.”

She laughs a little, “I'm sure it's obvious, I've never been good at hiding my feelings.”

“Well yes,” he pats her head, “but I’d like to hear it from you.”

Sighing, she lays her head on the table, his hand following to give her more headpats.

“I wish I could lie and say I’m fine, but to be honest I feel like shit. Been craving some nihonshu. I don't care which type currently but any of the Ginjo-shu or Daiginjo-shu ones would be great.”

“Maybe we’ll find some, not as good as the ones at home, but there might be some somewhere.” as he continues to subconsciously pat her head.

“Gasp!” She says dramatically, lifting her head while grabbing his wrist to stop the pats, “Are you trying to get me to drink when I have two children to take care of?” She smiles, letting go, “How dare you!”

Ruffling her hair, he pulls away, “Your alcohol tolerance is higher than anyone I’ve seen, one bottle isn't going to do anything. Especially if you drink it slowly.”

“You know I don't drink slowly.”

“I said especially. You do fine even on five bottles.”

“I was a young adult back then! I'm like… Almost 37 now!”

He pokes her cheek, “You don't look older than 20. Plus, didn’t you just drink 3 bottles worth at that party a month ago?”

She pouts, batting his hand away, and says sarcastically, “I’m asian, if I looked my age I’d be very sad.”

She's starting to act like usual. He’d leave it at that, but he's read that it's sometimes best to talk about it, plus he's no stranger to pretending and she isn't either, even if she sure makes for a convincing fool, he knows she can easily lie if she wanted to.

“Hey Rumi. You know what I’m here for right?”

She sighs, smiling sadly, “Yeah, I mean I did do the same thing with you, though hopefully I don't look as dead as you did.”

“I'm going to ignore that comment because I care about you.” Shifting his position to mimic hers, except his right hand is casually placed in the middle of the table, he continues, “We should probably talk about it.”

She sighs, looking to the side and grabbing his hand subconsciously, “We should, but…”

“It hurts?”

“Yeah.”

Squeezing her hand in reassurance, he spoke in a soft voice, “He was a friend of mine too, I still remember when he excitedly told everyone that he got a perfect shot 20 times in a row while training.”

She snickers, “pft, he was like a child showing you the gold star they got from the teacher. Actually I think that's exactly what he was.”

She smiles wider now, squeezing his hand back, “He's such a kid on the inside, it was so cute. This big buff demon is more innocent than me.”

“I still can't believe you're half Japanese dragon, you sure you're not mostly European?”

She pouts, “Hey! Only my mom was, and just a little! My dad was a full Japanese dragon.”

“Guess your personality took after your mom then huh? Your older sister said you were a pain to take care of and teach manners to.”

She lets out a squeak, squeezing her hand into fists, or she would if she wasn't holding onto his. Instead, she grabbed his hands with both of hers, “My sister said that!? Why? When?”

“A few years ago on one of our visits, she said she was lucky you didn't inherit the hoarding instincts your mom had.”

“My mom has kept everything anyone has given her, we’re lucky we’re well off and have enough space for it all.” She rolled her eyes, remembering that her mom would even be uncomfortable having her around ‘the hoard’.

She pouts at him again, “Still don’t know how you managed to get it out of her though.”

He only winks, “A detective never reveals his secrets.”

She pulls her arms back and crosses them, “You only count as a detective if you work for the police. Until then you’re a private investigator.”

He pokes her again, “You understand what I mean. Plus it rolls off the tongue better.”

He hums, “speaking of which, how did your parents feel when you introduced your husband?”

She leans back on the chair, right hand cupping her cheek and flushing in embarrassment, “Oh I was so scared you don't even know.”

“I did.”

“What?”

“Don't you remember? You were shaking and clinging onto me, babbling about how nervous you were.”

“I did no such thing!”

“Pretty sure you even began flying subconsciously, I had to call your husband to pull you down since I couldn't reach you myself.”

“He didn't hear it did he?”

“We might’ve stood and listened for a minute or two.”

“I hate you both.”

“And we both love you. You should remember that.”

Her eyes widen in surprise, arms uncrossing, putting her hand on the counter again, “Oh, you did not just use the opportunity to say that.” she tries to pout in a playfully annoyed way.

“I did, and it's true. I love you and I can tell your husband does too.” He grabs her hands, they're trembling, and looks into her eyes, “I’m here for you. I don't know how difficult it is, but loss is never easy. That much I know. Take your time to grieve. There's no rush.”

He would've been surprised at the wetness hitting his hands if he wasn't already staring at her. Her trembling has increased tenfold. When was the last time he saw her upset? When was the last time he saw her cry? If there wasn't a table in the way, he would've pulled her into a hug, she needs it.

He would say something, but it doesn't feel like it's the time.

She starts sobbing, hands gripping his like iron vices, body curling into itself. “I- I always had a feeling… it… I just didn’t want to…”

She tugs his hand closer, practically crying into them. Table or not, he’s giving her a hug. It doesn’t seem like she wants to, or even can, talk right now.

Klggh

The chair clatters as he stands abruptly, Arumi looking up in surprise and softening her grip on his hands. He uses one of them to lift himself up on the table and keeps the other in her hand.

Sitting on the edge of the table, he pulls her into a hug. Normally she’s the one engulfing him since she’s taller, but when sitting like this, he can do the same to her.

She nearly crushes him with the strength of her hug, as she clings onto him and cries.

No one talks as they both sit there. The only sounds are her sobs, which has now died down to hiccups, and his breathing.

“I… I tho- thought I’d b-be ready…”

She could barely finish a word before her hiccuping starts up, still trembling in his hold.

“You’re doing great Arumi… It hurts a lot. You’re doing so well. It’s okay. Take all the time you need. There’s no time limit to grief.”

He hears a whimper, feeling hands tightening on his clothes as she looks up into his eyes, her own red and glossy. “Ho-ow did yo-u s-stop griev-ving?”

He frowns, pulling her head back into his chest. “I didn't.” She tries to take deep breaths, hiccups interrupting her, but she's slowly calming down, her hiccups lessening and her trembling stopping.

Wiping at her eyes, she notices that his shirt is practically doused in tears. “Ha-haha! S-Sorry Tetsu. That shirt has drowned.”

He shrugs, smiling playfully, “It's been through worse. I fell into the river with it once.”

“Oh right!” She giggles and looks down with lidded eyes, “Leon dragged you with him to swim right? He thought you had already changed.”

Huffing, he crosses his arms, careful not to touch the tear stains on his shirt, which was difficult, “Just because I wore shorts and a t-shirt doesn't mean it's fit for swimming!”

She giggles at this, “I don't think he knows the difference at this point, people can swim in anything!”

Her giggles slowly die down as she sighs softly, looking up at him, hopeful, but with hints of sorrow and… Happiness?

“Can we talk more about him…?”

He feels his eyes widening, before he closes them and smiles sadly, “Of course.”

You took it so well, you seem happier now.

If only I had the strength to do the same.

[baekhvuns]

That Arsenal fan lawyer is me actually. I studied law for 1 year, I'm qualified enough 👀 Ancelotti 🍅🍅🍅🍅 get off the stage!!! My eyes are closed I refuse to see RM's stats....

Uhm I dislike Neymar, but what is this, a club acting like a bunch of bullies? Frenchies are back at it again. PSG isn't relevant enough for them to be that arrogant!

"they could unearth atlantis. they just choose not to. respect." true actually. Thankfully that photo isn't exclusive and I love that they use 🍙 for MBAPpe lmao, very kpop stan behaviour

Bestie you should be a Gooner already! Repeat after me "London is red". So many MU fans are against Gr**nw**d and Nike dropped him as well. He should go to Al Nassr, they probably don't give a fuck or maybe China. 💀

My friend won a London fan sign, she's not going to the concert though lmao. At least she has that, so I'm not mad at her! And Valenteez? Oh that Kaura thing had NFTs, hopefully there won't be any included this time....

If anyone comes for you for writing Seonghwa only I'll personally beat them up 🥰 plenty of people exclusively write for specific people, characters or ships and that's totally fine.

Take this quiz! I got Delancey

I feel so proud of the Skins cast, I grew up with them, and yes Dev, have you seen The Green Knight? I also used to live close to miss Kaya (she's an Arsenal fan too and we would see each other at the local pub). Lmao not PENG 😭 I don't say naur either, but I drink tea a lot, it has nothing to do with the UK though, I've drank gallons of tea since I was a child

Ewww I can imagine the body swap went into the worst direction in the Ryan movie, creepy shit. I read some reviews....

One thing about me is I'll choose a fictional cartoon man over a real one 😅 Tasir ❤

Boxer would get his hands bruised so easily, rip to that man! Y/N needs to mummify him

We still have no idea what's going on with Lookass, Chris Lee you fucking bitch. But Lee Sue Man??? huh how about he sues himself

Oh no wtf I had no idea Canadian schools were as bad as American ones :( I sincerely hope Mnet won't evil edit Hui or anyone... these poor guys have been humiliated enough

Wait Y/N and Hwa went to high school together in Mr & Mrs Park? I had no idea, I'm a fake Baeksussy fan.

Baekhyun looks cute, I'm glad he's back! TY the number 1 simp, he's the true user baekhvuns. And I heard Psycho, yes!

Someone said Seonghwa in the Spin Off video looked like a thundere LI in a fantasy movie, agreed <3

A much better version of Timothee akshuajaajhshsabsha. Yes Tamino is actual GOD, such a beautiful human and his deep voice ❤ ooohhh Baek I had no idea I'd awaken something in you 👁👁 perhaps his songs will inspire you to write! I'll let you know how he was in concert, I saw him once before, but sadly I was pretty sick that day so I couldn't enjoy it fully 😐 His cover of AM fucks too

They ditched my girl Kira even though she was the most relevant to the movie plot??? Fuck those werewolves! But no wonder, they didn't pay the actress enough (ekhm racist). What's the name of your avo baby?

Everyone's saying 2pm for the sex story thing?! An hour...god!?!?! Watch the story be fake though

Remember him 😭😭😭😭 - DV 💖

hello!!

That Arsenal fan lawyer is me actually. I studied law for 1 year, I'm qualified enough 👀 Ancelotti 🍅🍅🍅🍅 get off the stage!!! My eyes are closed I refuse to see RM's stats.... /// Uhm I dislike Neymar, but what is this, a club acting like a bunch of bullies? Frenchies are back at it again. PSG isn't relevant enough for them to be that arrogant!

LMFAOOO GET OUT WHDHDJCICJCK you in court “your honour, i have receipts to back my evidence up actually! going to eat my walls if he denies it tho!”

i will do the courtesy of showing the stats ☺️

i do be blaming it on ancelotti not putting vini in a better position to utilize his skills previously, he was on top of the world and now suddenly it died down 😭😭

yEAAAHH they have been doing this to both messi neymar and even verratti, booing them on pitch and their families! i think once it was messi’s wife w kids in the stadium it happened,, no srs they put psg on the map 😭 idk how much patience that man got but if it were me,,, on SIGHT! ON SIGHT SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN BESTIES!

"they could unearth atlantis. they just choose not to. respect." true actually. Thankfully that photo isn't exclusive and I love that they use 🍙 for MBAPpe lmao, very kpop stan behaviour

WAIT THATS SO TRUE 😭😭😭 utmost respect to them, tbh if kpop fans collectively got together they’d end up digging cleopatra’s tomb,,, LMFAOOO THE 🍙 IS SO CUTE AND FUNNY baby mbappe was rly cute,,, if he joined bubble 😭😭😭 his representative emojis is 🍙 😭😭

🍙: hello y/n!!!

i finished my training!!!

did you think of me???

thinking of you y/n 💖!!

Bestie you should be a Gooner already! Repeat after me "London is red". So many MU fans are against Gr**nw**d and Nike dropped him as well. He should go to Al Nassr, they probably don't give a fuck or maybe China. 💀

LONDON IS RED IM WAITING FOR IT TO BE BLUE IDC 😭😭😭 man utd fans for the first time have some brain cells and collectively hold someone accountable is so wild to me, never thought i’d see it,,, FJWVDJWHKCK doubt the chinese would take that mf in 😭😭 he should just go look for another career oh wait! how can he bdnwbddo i genuinely wonder how hard it is for football players to act decent, play ur game and go back to ur family quietly 😭😭

and spurs have been on a roll?? kane’s revival arc!

My friend won a London fan sign, she's not going to the concert though lmao. At least she has that, so I'm not mad at her! And Valenteez? Oh that Kaura thing had NFTs, hopefully there won't be any included this time....

that is very acceptable, crossed out the concert experience 🤚🏻OH THATS KAURA?? 😬😬😬 it better be some pieces of printed cardboard of his face and not some email confirmation 😭😭

If anyone comes for you for writing Seonghwa only I'll personally beat them up 🥰 plenty of people exclusively write for specific people, characters or ships and that's totally fine. /// Take this quiz! I got Delancey

tHANK YOU i would love to name drop but i will hold my silence fbwnbdnjc <33 right! writing for one person is completely fine but some people 🔫✨🔫✨✨🔫 omg delancey i haven’t heard that name since charm school, i got madison!! speaking of uquiz here’s one!

I feel so proud of the Skins cast, I grew up with them, and yes Dev, have you seen The Green Knight? I also used to live close to miss Kaya (she's an Arsenal fan too and we would see each other at the local pub). Lmao not PENG 😭 I don't say naur either, but I drink tea a lot, it has nothing to do with the UK though, I've drank gallons of tea since I was a child

I HAVE SEEN IT! what an art this man is,, his work selection is amazing! NO WAY FBWMDJWK ANON BAG HER AUTOGRAPH FOR ME PLS I GO A LIL 😵‍💫😵‍💫 WHEN I SEE HER IN THE MAZE RUNNER SERIES ☺️☺️ NO DO U SAY PENG JDVWBDBC OR LENG,, you’ve drank everything except water since u were a child what is this anon 🤨

Ewww I can imagine the body swap went into the worst direction in the Ryan movie, creepy shit. I read some reviews.... /// One thing about me is I'll choose a fictional cartoon man over a real one 😅 Tasir ❤

yEAAAAH it was like dad/lawyer vs unhinged best friend (ryan) who’s single and they body swapped the night they peed in a fountain together 😭😭😭 and ryan has to go be a lawyer and the lawyer has to take up the acting gig ryan had and it’s just a porno 😭😭 so ur saying no seonghwa only tasir? nO SOOHYUK? ALRIGHT AND 20 YEARS TO HOW TO LOSE A GUY IN 10 DAYS????? 😭😭😭

Boxer would get his hands bruised so easily, rip to that man! Y/N needs to mummify him /// We still have no idea what's going on with Lookass, Chris Lee you fucking bitch. But Lee Sue Man??? huh how about he sues himself

y/n on her way with the pointe ballerina shoes to save the poor guy <33 NOOOO BC CHRIS LEE IS ABOUT TO GET HIS ASS HANDED BACK TO HIM so basically! sm’s board directors + chris lee tried to push lsm away basically ask him to leave all together that’s why bro’s been in the states and arrived like a day ago

what sm did is that lee soo man didn’t give any of his shares to kakao ent (they tried to have sm’s share to take over them) and intrusted the shares with his nephew (chris lee) who went behind his back sold them! CHRIS LEE JAIL ERAAAAAAA

not the karina signs??? chris lee drops to a new low everyday

Oh no wtf I had no idea Canadian schools were as bad as American ones :( I sincerely hope Mnet won't evil edit Hui or anyone... these poor guys have been humiliated enough

yeah! tho most of it confined to one side of the city after rona tho it def got bitter, out downtown is in shambles and the police are trying their best to handle it so hopefully before the wc happens the thing’s all good! its in affect so it’s getting better <3 it’s mostly drügs and guys trying to be wannabe gangsters and then get surprised they have to face consequences <3 toxic 14-18yo mama’s boys <3 no yeah the guys have been humiliated enough 😭😭 they aren’t trained idols so they’d def have some inconsistencies 😭😭

Wait Y/N and Hwa went to high school together in Mr & Mrs Park? I had no idea, I'm a fake Baeksussy fan. /// Baekhyun looks cute, I'm glad he's back! TY the number 1 simp, he's the true user baekhvuns. And I heard Psycho, yes! //// Someone said Seonghwa in the Spin Off video looked like a thundere LI in a fantasy movie, agreed <3

THEY DID bdskdh it’s when the flashback of hwa hitting on the yn and yn explaining to Kai that they momentarily dated for a week until mf got heart eyes for some other girlie <3 FAKE BAEKSUSSY FAN FHWJD i am actually taeyong my pseudo was kira, im part time nct leader and full time baekhvuns! psycho supremacy actually 🤲🏻🤲🏻 HE DOES HE DOES him in a fantasy movie brb i will edit him in one rn,, he needs to be in a magically fantasy movie with a proper villain and he’s under this veil that the villain is the bad guy but then he realizes who it actually is!

A much better version of Timothee akshuajaajhshsabsha. Yes Tamino is actual GOD, such a beautiful human and his deep voice ❤ ooohhh Baek I had no idea I'd awaken something in you 👁👁 perhaps his songs will inspire you to write! I'll let you know how he was in concert, I saw him once before, but sadly I was pretty sick that day so I couldn't enjoy it fully 😐 His cover of AM fucks too

HE REALLY IS ANON IDK WHAT U DID IVE BEEN LISTENING TO HIM SINCE YESTERDAY!! his voice is omg, what a voice, so calming but so powerful omgg the talent really runs in his family, IT AWOKE EVERYTHING IN ME! EVERYTHING! HE HAS INSPIRED ME TO WRITE IVE BEEN WRITING TO HIS SONGS 😭😭😭 ur music taste i swear omg anon, u need to ppt format drop every detail of him at the concert, saw a few reviews abt it and it said he has like no voice cracks and it’s just his insane vocals and vibes omg 😭😭 he sings like lana but the male version get out the cover is sO GOOD ITS SO RUSTY ???? he sounds like if brown and emerald were a person

They ditched my girl Kira even though she was the most relevant to the movie plot??? Fuck those werewolves! But no wonder, they didn't pay the actress enough (ekhm racist). What's the name of your avo baby?

NAHH FUCK WEREWOLVES UR RIGHT DONT NEED THOSE TYPE OF FURRIES would accept hwa werewolf au- HER NAMES ACTUALLY AVOLINA!! and uh, speaking of avo,, live action 😀

Everyone's saying 2pm for the sex story thing?! An hour...god!?!?! Watch the story be fake though /// Remember him 😭😭😭😭 - DV 💖

AN HOUR??? OH MY LORD THIS DEF A DILF,, imagine going to the inkigayo bathroom and someone’s getting dicked down in the stall next to u 😭😭😭 the shit kpop idols must tolerate must be crazy,, ITS THE LEGS FOR ME FBWMDJWK

IM SCREAMING ANON FBWKDHW

😶😶

in a few days i might ask u if ur prefer a lighter dark aesthetic or a dark aesthetic for yunho if make it in the end <3

[hickeygender]

okay this is only part of their post but it's the part i take the most issue with. i screenshotted rather than reblogged because i don’t want this person catching flak for one stupid post. granted, the post irked me enough to write all this bullshit, but i’m not mad at this person in particular, moreso the overall direction that the disk horse is currently going in

i'm gonna break this down into points. 

1) “i want him to take off his helmet because i want to see his face, but i feel like w/ this new information if we get that kind of scene it's going to HURT” - so far the only time din's helmet has been removed was during a traumatic experience. he did not want to take it off. it was scary for him. why the hell do you want it to come off when he's adamant that it stays on? bc that means likely the only way we're seeing his face is if it's taken off against his will. either that, or he abandons his creed in a crisis of faith, which would also be traumatic. so i agree that if the helmet comes off, the scene is going to hurt to watch. why do you want that??

2) “...that he's in a cult...” - the children of the watch don't fit the definition of a cult. instead of being a cult, they're a diaspora with a shared creed. their 'isolation' stems from safety measures taken in the wake of the purge - face coverings for safety, only one member of the covert can leave at a time, and literally living in the sewers to avoid detection. these are all valid actions, considering that the covert is slaughtered as soon as they’re discovered, and that din has been accosted for his armor twice in three episodes, way after the purge ended. if that's how the galaxy treats mandalorians, then you bet your ass that their secrecy is justified, unlike the secrecy found in cults.

the children of the watch are not exploitative, either, which is a hallmark of cults. they saved din during the clone wars, came to din's aid on nevarro, and were systematically killed for doing so. they knew this was a risk, but they did it anyways, because it was the right thing to do to protect the child.

cults are also closed to outsiders. now, i'm extrapolating from legends here, so bear with me. bo-katan said they followed the 'old ways' or something along those lines. the most well known mandalorian code of conduct was the resol'nare, or the 6 tenants. they were: wearing armor, speaking the language, defending oneself and family, raising your children as mandalorians, contributing to the clan's welfare, and aiding the mand'alor when called to. anyone who followed these tenants could claim to be a mandalorian. anyone. that's why i said they have a shared creed, not a shared race. anyone can become a mandalorian in legends, and if disney keeps that canon, then that's the exact opposite of being 'closed off'.

3)”... as if it were his choice when clearly it wasn't” - okay show me where he was forced into this ~evil cult~. show me where he has no agency. din was rescued and taken in as a child, yes, but he currently upholds and defends his belief system, and actively chooses on multiple occasions to stay true to his creed. even if he abandons the way later in the season (which I sincerely hope that he doesn't), he was never forced into his belief system - he was raised with it. i wasn't forced into christianity*, i was simply raised with it. did i eventually leave the faith? yeah, and my parents were chill. there's a big difference between being forced into it and raised with it.

4) “he was robbed of getting to show his face to another person and being lied to. that's a shock to him and he's going to have to deal with it in his own way” - hoo boy. HOO BOY. how was he """robbed""" of anything? if you're talking abt omera in s1, he made the decision to keep his helmet on himself (sidenote: omera was not disrespecting him by trying to take his helmet off ffs) and so how could he feel """robbed""" when he was the one to make that call?

onto the next part - what was he lied to about? the origins of the children of the watch? why tell din about their links to an organization that they don’t even resemble anymore?

the last part, the part about this being a shock to him, is likely correct. anyone would be shocked if someone told them they were actually a member of a cult. din being shocked doesn’t mean that bo-katan was right, though. bo-katan is a liar. even if you don't take into account her own past with death watch that she conveniently left out, she lied to din about taking the ship, rather than just stealing weapons. she did this for self serving reasons - she wanted information on the darksaber. at the end, she asks din to stay. who's to say she didn't tell him his clan was a cult to drive him away from his creed because she wanted to gain another grunt for her team? do i think that this is her angle? no, bc i don't think she or the writers are smart enough for that. but could it have been her motive for the cult comment? anything is possible, especially in light of the fact that she's left out her own involvement with death watch when telling din his clan was a cult.

that’s it. that’s all. shit, i def put way more effort into this post than i should have, but what’s done is done. i’m tired of people calling any old religion a cult just because they don’t like it. words have meanings, you can’t just say whatever the fuck you want and not get called out on it. sorry if this comes off as aggressive, but i’m fed up with this discourse, and this will be my only post on it.

*the mandalorians are not coded as christian, and here’s a post on why. i’m using this analogy because i was raised with a belief system like din was, not because the children of the watch resemble christianity.

[sweetestlamb]

Flashlight

Author's note: Wasn't episode 8 just lovely? I just couldn't get this out of my head, they're becoming so dependent on each other. Be still my beating heart. They're reminding me of my MoonMun couple so much and I think that explains my obsession and the amount of fics I've written thus far lol.

Summary: Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"Are you okay now? Is there someone there?" He moves towards the dark alley that she came bolting from looking as frightened as he's ever seen her. He feels his muscles coil ready to protect her by any means possible. But before he can move she's tightening her hold on him, clinging to him now he can feel her warmth all around him like a blanket.

"No! Don't leave me." Hearing that scared plea causes a blurry memory to resurface in his mind, he can almost feel the words swimming in his mind but the memory is foggy and it evaporates as quickly as it formed.

Strange.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere. Let's go inside." He starts to maneuver her toward her house at first she moves with him but then she stills, letting out a small sound of recollection.

"My phone." She whispers into his chest, they are pressed so closely he can feel her heartbeat still pounding through her chest into his. He strokes her back in a lazy soothing manner, shocked when she melts into his embrace further. Nothing is making sense at this moment but he doesn't care enough to stop, this.

"What about your phone?" He redirects the conversation and she continues, "I dropped it in there when I ran away."

"Okay. I'll go get it, wait here." He starts to gently untangle her hands from his flannel but she lets out a whine, gripping his shirt even stronger and moving with him.

"I'll---let's go together."

She's trembling now, positively shaking in her spot and he wants to argue with her to just go inside and wait for him but her earlier plea echoes in his ears. He can't leave her alone not right now, so he steps forward feeling her move with him, one step after another until he sees the rectangular object on the ground.

"I'm going to bend down to get it." He can feel her shifting beside him looking around wildly but thankfully no ominous figure appears, they are alone.

After a moment she nods, letting go enough for him to bend and retrieve the device and he checks the screen noting happily that it's not damaged but when he touches the screen it doesn't turn on so he tries again.

"It's dead. I forgot to charge it." She admits, taking the phone from his grasp.

He turns to her with a sharp stare, "You stayed out late after what happened and didn't charge your phone? Are you that fearless?" He chides, frustrated with her lack of awareness and disregard for her safety. If anything ever happened to her he would.... He would.......

"It wasn't on purpose. I didn't realize. I know it was irresponsible."

It's not a response he's expecting, the Hye Jin he knows would argue back, hardly taking shit from him ergo her meek uncharacteristic reply makes him feel worst, he shouldn't be blaming her especially after seeing first-hand how scared she is.

"Let's go inside now, it's cold and you're shaking." They both know the temperature has very little to do with her tremors but she doesn't disagree and carelessly he enters the code when they reach the door, ignoring the jolt in his chest that erupts as he enters his own birthday and the door clicks open. He thought she would have changed it by now.

He's grateful she hasn't.

They both take off their shoes, standing side by side now her arm around his waist and his around her shoulder. It's a small space and they can barely move but they work around it, reluctant to release each other.

"Thank you." Her voice is barely above a whisper, he thinks that he almost imagined it. He had an excuse prepared this time, he was merely patrolling and happened to pass her house. That was the lie he intended to go with, but something in her voice stops him from saying those deceitful words. He's tired of hiding and making up excuses for being around her.

"You're welcome. Here sit down, I'll make you some tea." Thoughtlessly he moves towards the kitchen, taking two steps until he can't move anymore. She's holding onto him tightly, he turns around looking at her small closed fists and then her trembling pretty face.

With a soft sigh, he takes her hand rubbing a thumb across the smooth skin.

"Just come with me." Immediately she steps forward pressing into his back, he tries to calm his heart taking the teapot and filling it with water, then he opens the cabinet retrieving a mug and setting it aside.

"I like honey. And a squeeze of lemon." He smiles at her soft demands.

Now that sounds more like his dentist. The bottle of honey is in her top cabinet and he grabs a fresh lemon from the fridge cutting it in half.

They stand silently as the water boils and he finally feels his anger boiling away as well. Angry that he was almost too late and that his town isn't safe anymore, angry that someone was able to shake this immoveable woman.

The shrill ringing of the teapot breaks him from his impasse, on autopilot he pours the water on the tea bag, then squeezes the honey in the steaming water, "I like a lot of honey." She's attached to his back her voice vibrating straight through him, he freezes when she wraps her arms around his waist. Her closeness is messing with his mind, but he tries to finish his job and get them on the couch maybe with some distance between them.

For his sanity.

"Let's go sit down." He grabs both mugs walking over to her couch, placing her cup on the far right and taking a seat on the far left putting a sea of distance between them. But immediately she sits down right next to him, leaving no space between them she might as well be in his lap. He squirms in place, standing up to get some reprieve but she grabs his hand staring up at him.

"Where are you going?" Fear bleeds into her voice and he lets go of his hesitations, tonight is not about him.

Leaning over he grabs her cup, tugging it closer.

"Nowhere, I'm not going anywhere. Drink your tea."

She blinks slowly at him before nodding and bringing the warm beverage to her lips. Her hum of satisfaction warms him all the way down to his toes.

"It's good. You really are good at everything." He preens at the compliment, thinking of all the times this week he wasn't needed or was cast aside for Director Ji. He's been swallowing his jealousy all week. So her words fill a hollow space in his chest.

He watches her drink the entire cup, ignoring his own growing cold on the table.

"I need to charge my phone." She suddenly says and he stares before nodding, taking the opportunity to drink his lukewarm tea. But then he notices that she's not moving despite having the phone and charging in her hand.

"What's wrong?" He raises an eyebrow in confusion.

She looks embarrassed now, unable to meet his eyes and he's flabbergasted at her reaction.

"Come with me?" He stares at her, feeling the same pride bloom as when she sat next to him instead of her sunbae, she's leaning on him.

He spots an outlet across the room, "Okay let's go there." She looks relieved at his lack of teasing, together they walk over to the outlet and she bends to plug in the charger and puts the phone on the ground.

In seconds the phone comes to life and he feels a sharp pain in his chest as a barrage of messages light up her phone, the majority from one person. When she clicks to open the message he instinctively looks away, not wanting to witness their conversation.

"He messaged so much." Her voice is filled with awe and childishly he moves away. He'd almost forgotten that she didn't actually need him. He was just conveniently there.

"I should go now. You're safe. Make sure to come home earlier from now on, maybe ask him to walk you home." It hurts to utter those words but it's easier than being replaced later, it's okay if he's the one that pushes her away first. "I'll see myself out."

He stands ready to leave, pointedly not looking back before he changes his mind and stays forever.

She was just scared, tonight didn't mean anything.

He grabs his fallen bagpack thrusting it on his shoulder, hopping into his boots all ready to head out. But it's unusually quiet, the silence is so deafening that he can't stop himself from looking back over at her. It's a mistake, a huge one at that. The phone has fallen from her hands, abandoned to the side and she's looking at him with the most desolate stare he's ever seen, moisture pooling in her huge round eyes.

"What's wrong? Why are you cry--"

"You said you wouldn't leave me. Why are you changing your mind? What if someone is still there? What am I supposed to do without yo--u?" Her voice cracks on the last word and his heart follows, she needs him. Nobody else has this week but here she is breaking down because he tried to leave, she needs him.

His decision is made for him in that moment.

As soon as he's close enough to touch she's clinging to him once again, he only absently realizes that she's trying to lead them to her bedroom but even he's not saintly enough for that so he stops her.

"Let's go to the couch. You'll feel more comfortable."

She doesn't question him seemingly happy to follow his lead.

The couch is comfy but definitely not intended for two grown adults, leaning over the arm rest he tries to get situated and once he stops moving she's snuggling into his side curling around him like a cat.

"Whenever I was scared, my mom used to stroke my hair."

He stares at the wall in front of them, wondering if she's aware of just how many lines they're crossing tonight- no catapulting over. But he's tired of second guessing himself so he stops thinking and just listens, bringing the hand that is curled on her shoulder up to her head before dragging his palm down her soft hair, gulping when she moans at the ministrations.

Her breathing starts to deepen and he feels her body losing its tension, she's falling asleep and once she succumbs he can finally make his escape, that's his plan. But he doesn't expect her to start stroking him too, her hand delicate on his chest.

"You've worked hard. Stopping a scammer and saving me all while recovering from a cold."

It's nothing. It's what he's supposed to do.

But it feels so good to hear those words, words that he hardly heard growing up.

"Go to sleep." He says instead of thank you, instead of kissing her like he's wanted to since he saw her outside and she ran straight into his heart.

It's a miracle but she listens to him, drifting to sleep her head heavy on his chest and he knows that he should wait a few minutes and try to extract himself but he can't, not tonight. Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"You're making me want all sorts of things." He whispers to her sleeping face, terrified of her and all that she makes him feel. Feeling emboldened by their almost kiss initiated by her, he pushes her hair behind her ear taking a second to really looking at her face. She really is that beautiful. It doesn't seem fair. Leaning down he presses a soft kiss to her forehead, her skin is sleep warm and perfectly smooth. He presses a second one shamelessly. Her lips are right there and heavens knows that he's tempted but he can't take advantage, can't bring himself to do anything else. That's enough.

He doesn't know when he fell asleep but he wakes up to Mi-seon throwing a blanket over them, he keeps his eyes tightly shut mentally berating himself for that leaving when he had a chance.

"Just friends my ass. Just admit that you like him, look at the way you're clinging to him."

Somehow they traversed further down the couch in their sleep, both laying horizontal now with her body on top on his and her head tucked under his chin.

"I've never seen her sleep so peacefully though. She looks so young."

He tries not to think too deeply into what that might mean, listening to the retreating footsteps of her roommate and feeling himself losing the battle with sleep. She'll probably be embarrassed to find them this way tomorrow but that's a hurdle for another day.

Just for tonight I'll hold her. Until I'm not allowed to hold her anymore.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Happy new year everyone 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

I know 2020 has been hard for everyone.

And I want everyone to know, suffering isn't a contest and we all suffer in different ways. But I feel I should give my year in Review. Just some things that happened to me personally.

This was an intense, and long and spiritual and emotional journey for me...

I really discovered what it meant to have community, family and what my life means to me.

But I feel I need to get this in writing cause I can remember the year with vivid detail and I will probably forget if I don't get it down.

Do I have to share this publically online to my tumblr account for a bunch of strangers to see? not really.

Do I want to?

Yes. I think so. Just from how so many people on tumblr and real life have touched me.

This is kinda long and no one needs to read this.

(idk how to do a readmore on mobile. But this is where I would add it later. No one needs to read if they don't want to.)

January/February: (and some background on the last five years of my life cause.....well. it's important.)

As people knew, I got way into Invader Zim last summer. I spent most of my waking life working a dead end job at a grocery store. I lived a sad lonely life, going straight home to a single dark studio apartment. With not many material possessions outside of games, my laptop and my tablet to my name. Half of my material loves, such as home furnishings and books were still in boxes from when I moved in. In case I ever had to move again, or get some "big screenshot or copywriter" job in the city.

....

I lived in that city in the same dead end job and apartment for five years.

No friends. No social life. I often refused to make doctor appointments or attempt to establish myself in that city. I didn't even talk to anyone in my workplace.

Work. Go online. Go to sleep.

I lived like that for five years.

I thought it was good.

Even my therapist thought I was doing well.

When I really wasn't. My main character flaw I struggle with is motivation.

I can talk to someone about very detailed plans I have to fix a problem... But I tend to never follow through.

Just because I can describe in detail how to fix my personal problems, it doesn't mean I will do it.

(I have gotten better at this but it's a major struggle)

I might have been a Zombie during the day...

But by night I was pouring my soul into my AU and my analysis.

After being so thoughly ignored or overlooked by the Naruto fandom and the Undertale fandom, I felt like I had finally found my home and was settling into a community there.

I just loved that people loved what I had to say.

Especially my AU.

It's no secret that a lot of themes in my au revolve around found family, grief, and loss.......

Fatherhood, in particular.

What it means to be a father, how much do you need to try when you mess up, how willing should a child forgive their parent, especially those that have wronged you and how much of it is factually accurate and simply a self projection of what children want their parents to be and visa versa... What amount of forgiveness and change is nessasary...is it needed?

....

It's no secret that a lot of my AU is a giant coping mechanism for my Dad's death. Espessially the falling out and growing closer with a lot of my family members throughout the years following his death. (Most of the time I keep it ambiguous to how it relates to my personal life unless I include a readmore that states so outright. I feel my au can be enjoyed by a variety of people in the fandom who don't need to know me as a person or my life story.)

My Dad passed away in 2016 in February and my family still feels the aftershocks to this day.

It's part of the reason I moved to the city, alienated myself from my family and people that loved me and refused to experience life for five years.

My entire world was Zim, and I was okay.

March: When America finally realized and started to feel the effects of the pandemic....

A lot of people got scared.

Me included.

I didn't have any streaming services or access to the news. So I only heard accounts from my mom.

I didn't understand why the store was so dead quiet and empty for a few days, then it went into mass chaos and panic in the span of two days.

It felt like Retail black friday in the worst way. Everyone was packed like sardines. Everyone was yelling. The lines at the registers bled into the clothing department.

I was witness to customers shoving others for toilet paper, being rude to cashier's and just overall unpleasantness.

At the time, I didn't even fully grasp what the pandemic was, and I feel a lot of people at the time didn't either.

I ended up absentmindedly scratching my eyebrow in front of a customer and she screamed and villanised me for it. That they didn't want groceries touched by my "unclean hands"

I ended up breaking down into tears.

The customer behind me gave me a hug and told me I was doing a great job.

But the damage was done. It was the final straw, I couldn't stop crying and I was breaking apart.

Thankfully my Boss (the one who likes me) pulled me aside and asked what's wrong.

It was then that I quit. No notice. Same day. I had to get out of there.

I was planning to move to an apartment with my sister in the summer, but my Mom offered for me to move back in with her temperarily just so I can get out of the city and away from the pandemic.

So I did.

I got scared, broke my lease a month early and quit my job of five years that gave me nothing back.

He told me, "take care of yourself and your family, I won't keep you here, do what you need to do."

So I did.

April-June:

A very eventful few months.

My mom offered for me to live at her place, but for some reason she was acting like I would live there forever. That this wasn't a temporary arrangement, and that I didn't have an apartment set up already.

This was in large part to my sister, who had lived with my mom taking advantage of her for years.

Even though my sister and I were going to move in together, I was just never sure about it cause of how she never packed her stuff or made any effort to find a job.

My mom often acted like I was lazy and not searching and was treating me like... Well, an unruly teenager instead of a woman of 29 years. She acted like I was a failure for returning home when it was her idea in the first place.

I would have just been petrified in the city.

Like usual, I retreated to my au again.... And in the spring, something eventful happened.

In may, 8th 2020:

I was invited by @rissynicole to join an invader zim discord.

Now, I've never really used discord before. I always thought it's interface is too confusing.. and I'm a member of a few other iz discords and I usually don't follow them that closely.

Rissy assured me it was different cause some friends of thiers made it and it was smaller.

Before I knew it, I was sharing memes and getting to know everyone there.

It wasn't long after I invited my partner in IZ crimes, @paketdimensioncomic who was genuinely wary of iz servers due to a bad experience with the last one they were a part of.

But soon they were sharing memes and laughing with everyone else.

My eyes were starting to open and I was able to connect to fans of my work in an interpersonal way. And I was able to discover new artists and aus I never knew about.

I was also able to meet so many others of the community and invite them to the server myself.

The moo-ping 10 server kept me sane while I was living with my judgmental mother.

Not only that, the summer was very productive for my au.

Drawing was all I did, and it was a huge break from the job as a cashier I had.

Not only that, June came, and with it, me and Ceph's first collab fic:

A result of us just going back and forth in our DMs constantly about Professor Membrane and how he changed in ETF for the better and how much we adamantly stan "trying-to-be-a-good-dad-brane" and how much of his ETF development has to be implied off screen in order for the emotional resolution in the movie to matter.

The only reason I never professed my love for Membrane as a character in the fandom before the fic dropped was.... Well....

Membrane can be a decisive character in the fandom and I was so worried people would hate me if I did an analysis on him, simply because he's not the best parent in the world. (As an understatement)

Ceph and I really encouraged each other to scream our love for the science himbo loud and proud more frequently and so often.... I actually start to see less Membrane hate posts and breakdowns then their used to be.... I like to think it's a combination of Me and Ceph's influence, along with ETF and the Quarterly's painting Membrane in a slightly more nuanced light then he was previously.

I never wrote a collab fic before and it's such a rewarding and fun and unique experience that I don't think I'll ever have again. And I love working with Ceph on our fics so much.

So much so we did it again...

July-August:

I never thought I would be one of those people who writes NSFW IZ fic... But here I am.

The Brainbrane au started.... An au of my au where Membrane and the Computer fall in love and Membrane makes him a body.

This ship was based around the idea where we joked that Membrane and Zim's Computer would have funny interactions if they ever met, under the pretense Membrane thinks Computer is Zim's parent.

Our headcanons morphed and shifted until we just full blown started shipping them.

Just because Membrane and Zim's Computer have overall REALLY entertaining chemistry.

It's a character dynamic never seen in the show or comics (yet) and I imagine thier interactions to be nothing but entertaining banter.

The fic was also born from spite... Making fun of the troupes and cliches that we found personally destestible in some questionable zadr fics.

So an angry ace and a demi-bisexual collab on a porn and end up blessing the fandom with

Compapa headcanons,

Computer being recognized as a more common used fanon character,

The ship of Brainbrane.

The fandom having a crisis of "oh God, not only are we xenophiles we're technophiles too!!!" Or "why you gotta give Zim's Computer an ass"

More android Computer designs

It was an eventful summer.

In the midst of all this, I moved into my new place, got a new job, and I was able to see my friend (who is def my platonic straight soul mate) who lives in Indiana.

She came to visit, showed me how to decorate and how to take care of my body better! Things were looking up! It was great.

September-November:

My job was at a boat store. If was approaching the fall and my hours were being severely cut.

I was getting into a rut of depression again.

I thought things were changing but the same routine I was trying to escape from was the same thing coming back.

But instead of letting it take hold, I decided I was going to do something about it... I was gonna visit a museum and go with my sister. Just... variety stimulation.

Well that didn't happen.

I talked about this shortly in my au itself...but..

My sister had a complete mental breakdown.

She stopped taking her meds, went off the deep end and was in the hospital a total of five times throughout November.

A lot of it was acting out and the perfect storm of environmental factors that made her scream and act out so she would keep going back to the hospital.

It was traumatizing for me.

I just can't explain what it's like. For her and for me to be in that position.

I'm not telling the full story and a lot of bullshit things happened I won't share here.

She got diagnosed with bipolar one and my mom expected me to be a caretaker for her.

I threatened to disown my family and move away out of state.

It was just too much for me to handle.

So much I was a nervous wreck.

I tried to pick up a second job... Cause my sister was in the mental ward so frequently and couldn't pay the bills.

But I was fired within a week cause I was so stressed I couldn't retain the basic information they were training me for.

It was an office job.

My dream.

It could have been.

I was fired from something I really wanted.

I was only there for three days.

I could not retain any information.

I was a mess.

My sister was a trigger, my mom wanted me to live with her. I couldn't live like this.... I had to get out.

I had to get out.

December:

Remember my Indiana friend?

Well the first week of December is my birthday.

My 30th to be exact.

While I did pick up a seasonal position at Target (not my first pick)

I took the first week of December off so I could spend time with her. Cause she agreed, I needed a break from this crap.

Surviving 30 years is cause to celebrate and if I had to celebrate with my sister I would have cried.

I know there was a risk traveling out of state during a pandemic...

But I needed out, I needed a friend..

And I kinda wanted to look at the place since I was considering moving there.

My friend's mom was sick so she avoided me and her daughter and got us a hotel room.

It was fun! I got to swim in a salt water pool, we talked about Naruto, I showed her the iz and su art books I brought, also Computer and Membrane tea.

I also got to meet her other friends and get crunk. And her bf who is super nice and funny!

I had a super fun birthday....

Until her mom told my friend that her grandparents had covid and that was what she had. And my friend got sick within that same day.... As did I.

I owe so much to her family.

I was an entire state away...about a ten hour drive from home.... She let me stay at her house. "The covid house" we called it.

Cause everyone (except the father. He avoided everyone and booked a hotel immediately cus he was an ER doctor) had covid within a day.

I called in, the test results were positive and I had to stay with her family for ten days quarantine before I could work again.

Which would have been fine....

If my tumblr didn't log me out perminately of my old account. @dana-chan325 .... Which really sucked cause I had a constant headache and was too sick to engage with tumblr or much of the fandom. I didn't want to make a new account when my head was in a bad fog and I could barely breathe or smell.

It's not like I saw much of my friend either.... We all slept at different hours and she had more symptoms then I did.

It was just netflix, danganronpa v3 and cry.

I was miserable, but at the same time.... Not?

I really feel like God himself was the one who pulled me off from tumblr, and my living situation.

Maybe a whole extra week feeling like a bobblehead was what I needed.

It gave me some much needed clarity on my relationships with my mom and sis and friend.

Running away to Indiana was not the solution here.

Once I was better within ten days and no longer had a leave of absence, I drove home.

I am glad I fully recovered (but from how I understand it, my dear friend is still ill. I'm praying for her)

I might have gone to work a bit too soon, cause I had an asthma attack after trying to unload a single cart in the span of six hours.

My boss lectured that my speed was unacceptable, and even though I explained the covid situation and breathing problems many times, she threatened that I'd be fired if I'm that slow again.

Que the next few days of work where they put me on register.

Instantly I was sent into a panic remembering the last time I was on the register and how that panic attack caused me to quit.

I even asked if I could go back to stocking, since my breathing had improved. My boss assured me that I was put on the register cause they needed help and nothing to do with my covid thing.

Then as December concluded and the new year began, my boss said that this was the last shift for me cause my position was seasonal and they were letting a lot of people go.

I then asked why I was on the schedule for Sunday, and he told me to ignore it and I'm free to reapply for full-time.

I mean.... They can act smart about it...

But putting your general merchandise stocker onto register after she had an asthma attack and missed working the first two weeks of December due to covid.....

Not a good look.

So once again, I'm jobless once more.

Will probably continue to live with my sister for awhile.

But I do not feel as if it's a bad thing....

I met so many good people this year....

My friend's family even gave me 500 usd to cover my rent since I couldn't work for a majority of December.

I've seen evil and good from humanity this year. I've seen acts of god, good friends and what my real family means to me as well as friends I consider family.

This year really made me look back at the person in the mirror and say,

"I deserve better."

And actually worked for it this time.

Oh and after Christmas I got a horrible yeast infection that burns over most of my body currently.

Very accurate doodle to the pain I'm in right now.

(seriously my body is a fungus.)

But hey, good news, I respected myself enough to go to the doctor about it!!

So that's progress.

I really hope 2021 holds good things for me.

Thank you to the mooping 10 server for always being there and keeping me sane,

Thank you tumblr for liking my au and everything.

AND A SUPER SPECIAL THANK YOU TO @evartandadam and her family for housing me and my dumb diseased ass. Everyone, she is an angel and I can't express how much she means to me. Please check out her art and buy her stuff on redbubble.

Anyways... Byebye 2020.

I look forward to what I can accomplish for myself this year.

[romanceandnothingelse]

Paris, France.

10:43 pm

Dear Alice,

Its been twelve years since Renesmee was born. Twelve years since I married Edward. Twelve years in the face of forever.

If I were still to age I would be thirty now.

It's strange to think of such an amount of time both short in the reality of my having forever, and so long and everything I had feared such a short time ago. In three days time comes my worst nightmare. My thirty-first birthday. Edward tells me that I shouldn't count, but how can I not when I look at my life now, and see in it what could have been. What could have been if Edward had his way and made me age and get old. What could have been if I got to this day naturally and saw myself as a grown woman, standing next to my husband who looks seventeen. My husband who will look seventeen forever as I would have died a little each day slowly watching the creases on my face deepening.

Oh, Alice. I'm sorry. the trouble with letter writing instead of emailing is there's no way to undo what you've written- except for scrapping the whole thing and starting over, but I won't do that, you've waited long enough for my reply.

I haven't told Edward about your letter, and you know he wouldn't be happy with you if he knew in advance, but I think it's a good idea. I haven't seen Renesmee since she and Jacob visited two months ago. I still can't get used to the idea of my daughter being with my old best friend. But luckily I've got the rest of my life-which will never end- to come to terms with it. I've missed them while we've been here. I hate not seeing her so much but what can we do? Jacob lives with his pack and Renesmee is wherever he is. But maybe it's for the best, the less I have to see them together the less I have to think about what exactly that means.

I'm looking forward to seeing the old house again after so long. I hope you've stocked the kitchen for Renesmee, I've missed you all so much, Edward has too, despite what he'll say when he sees you all. We'll see you in a few days. But you already know that.

  

All my love,

                   Bella

Returning to our townhouse after sending my letter, I found Edward where he had been sat for the past 3 days straight; bent over the grand piano in our 'living room'. Without much need for typical human comforts we kept pretences for just that. Pretences.

Drawing closer I sat beside him on the small bench and tapped his arm gently. Nothing. I rolled my eyes; we needed to be back home at Faulks in two days, but he was completely absorbed in the new piece he was writing.

"Edward." I cleared my throat, raising my eyebrows.

He doesn't even know I'm here right now. I sighed, heading into the kitchen to resume by activities of the past week. Authentic Italian cooking. Every year since I became a vampire I've taken up a new interest and this year I was inspired by one of my moms old cooking books. She, of course never used it, or any other cooking book but when Edward and I 'vacationed to Italy' after we were married she gave me an old book full of Italian recipes when we returned. And so, after falling in love with the recipes I decided I wanted to be able to perfect them in the real Italian way; installing everything I needed into our modest French townhouse and buying every cookbook I found, and lastly being tutored by an Italian chef. It's been amazing. But I missed being able to cook for the people I loved who could actually enjoy it. Renesmee left too soon, I sighed to myself, but was gently consoled by the fact I was going to give Charlie a shock when I got home with a proper Italian meal for him and Sue. I couldn't wait.

After practicing my signature dish- which I was told by the locals was 'très magnifique'- I followed the music coming from the living room and found Edward, perfectly content, leisurely playing a composition I'd never heard before.

"You're done?" I asked.

He turned from where he was sat and looked at me serenely, his gentle smile slowly turning into the one reserved only for me.

"Yes." He smiled softly, rising to meet me.

"Would you like to know what it's called?"

"What?" I grinned, throwing an arm around his neck as he leaned down to meet me.

"I don't know yet." He confessed in a whisper.

I laughed, "Well, you can think about it on the way to Faulks." I said as I watched his face intently for his reaction.

To my surprise, he frowned and the rest of his features softened, eyes straying from my own, wonderingly.

"That's a good idea." He said slowly. "Yours?" He asked.

Oh god. I don't want to lie to him but...

"Yes." I tried to smile without wincing, but somehow I didn't think it would escape his notice.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Alice's?"

I straightened my already unnaturally straight back (vampire posture had me looking more graceful than I could ever feel. In this life or my human one), and looked him in the eyes challengingly.

"No." I said firmly. "My idea. It's almost my birthday and I want to go home for it. I want to see our family again."

A half truth. I thought to myself. An omission isn’t really a lie.

He arched an eyebrow casually down at me, obviously seeing through me, but pressing no further.

"I've packed for both of us already. You were busy." Thankfully.

"Okay," He said, dropping the subject before taking my hand and leading me to the piano. "Let me play for you before we leave."

"But we're not leaving until tomorrow." I objected instinctively. "Wait no." I laughed, "that doesn't matter.” I shook my head, smiling up at him. “Play for me." I corrected myself, sitting on the chaise opposite him where he sat at the piano.

He smiled and rolled up his sleeves and read from the creased papers standing tall above the keys.

"Pour toi, mon amour." He said softly as he began to play the most beautiful melody I had ever heard. It reminded me of one of my favourite chopin pieces he would play for me... something in E flat. I sat perfectly still with my eyes closed as he played, hearing his fingers stroking the keys, the quiet movements underneath the music adding something much more intimate to the practice.

As he stilled to a close, I opened my eyes only as I felt him beside me.

"That was beautiful." I breathed.

"I'm glad you like it." He murmured. "It was written for you."

"The next thing I take up after my Italian kitchen ventures, will be something that will benefit you." I promised. "This isn't fair, you being so perfectly considerate and me...learning to cook in a household where nobody has any need to actually eat food."

"Just because I don't need to eat food doesn't mean I don't enjoy whatever you make." He said softly. "And for your information... just you being here... just your existence alone... benefits me. I don't need anything else."

My heart fluttered as he slowly smiled down at me. I looked into his eyes and I blushed as I realised this was never going to get old. I was going to keep feeling like a teenager hopelessly in love forever. And, to my embarrassment, forever in our world really meant forever.

[rosengoddess]

Hi! I've been binge-reading your fics all day, and I was so happy when I saw that you take requests! The prompt isn't super-detailed, but I have a soft spot for injured Dazai, especially on crutches. Angsty or fluffy- reluctant to take it easy and give his injuries time to heal. I know it's sometimes hard to write something from this little, but I don't really have much else- Hope you're able to write it! Keep writing awesome fics^^

Ahaha I feel honoured to have you like my fics! And so sorry for the late response, what’s with school and all!

I tried to make something bordering flangst for your prompt and I hope you like it

Truth be told, getting shot in the leg was far better than having it been broken any other way. Though it becomes a hindrance when moving from location to location, not to mention the various advice on how to take care of his wounds.

How annoying…

“Oi, bastard, are you paying attention?”

Glancing up from his video game he sighed, shooing at Chuuya as he commented on the redhead’s boring lecture. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t had that repeated and drilled into his head by Mori beforehand.

‘Don’t overexert yourself, don’t put too much weight or pressure on the injured leg, don’t blah blah blah’

As if he ever listens to the man in the first place. Snorting, he pointed his crutch as Chuuya, watching as the redhead visibly flinched,

“12 o’clock, sniper.”

“Wha—”

Without a second to explain the situation, a bang was hurt followed by screams of horror by the people around. Though fortunately or unfortunately, nothing else happened. The bullet stopped in midair, caught within the parameters of Chuuya’s ability.

“Really, you’d think they’d use their brains instead of doing something so ridiculous.”

“Oh shut up, if you had said something earlier then none of this would be necessary.”

“Haven’t you heard of the idiom ‘beating the grass and startling the snake’? I would have alerted the enemy prematurely, this is why you’re an idiot. Idiot~”

“Damn Mackarel. Which building was the sniper from.”

Amidst the chaos of the streets, he looked up, squinting against the sun as he hummed,

“Which sniper do you want to know the location of?”

“Wha—”

“I’ll take the one on the right, you can take the sniper off on the left.”

Ignoring the redhead’s complain, he smiled and shooed Chuuya off on his way as the latter grumbled. Really now, if only Chuuya was more submissive…

Taking a deep breath he began to make his move towards the building, ambling his way through the crowds, one step at a time, what’s with his injured leg and the crutches slowing him down.

Ahhh, so annoying…

Taking the elevator up he grimaced, with so many things happening and his impaired movements hindering him so, he was tired. Leaning against the walls of the elevator, he wondered what his next moves should be. Provocation was a no-go, so maybe negotiation? But what could he use to negotiate; information? Resources?

But for someone to straight up send people to assassinate, what could they possibly want in return…

Tugging at his hair, he groaned. Reaching into his pockets, he felt around for his handgun, making sure he had at least something that he could use as protection, no matter how useless it may be.

As the doors opened, he smiled, taking slow steps into the floor, hoping that his actions would be seen as non-hostile. Being an abandoned building, he wasn’t surprised there wasn’t anyone in sight but to lack even furniture, something felt … off.

“How about we talk, you go easy on me and I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

At 12 o’clock, a man in black stared at him, his sniper rifle at one side while a pistol laid in his hand, one finger resting on the trigger. Maintaining his silence, Dazai began to wonder if the former was mute or just adamant on saying nothing. Either way, both spelt bad news for him.

Taking another step forward, as if to test the water, and almost immediately a shot rang out. If he had been any slower, his other leg might have been shot and what a mess it would have been, Mori would have grounded him from missions if that happens. Thankfully all he got was a graze, but he had fallen to the ground and now…

He was literally a sitting duck. And with his injured leg burning like nobody’s business.

Fuck, where is Chuuya-

He could take out his gun but there were only two paths that could go from there; one of which led to an injured arm and honestly, that was the worst scenario to have had.

Really, he had nothing he could do in this situation except wait for Chuuya to ‘rescue’ him.

Silently he watched as the man seemed to set up something similar to that of C-4, silence settling in as the atmosphere became more and more tensed as the minutes passed.

Really, what was taking the redhead so long?

Deciding on his next move, he made small movements to prepare for what’s to come. If the explosive was what he thought it was, he would have to throw himself out the window if he even wants the slightest chance of survival. He would either break most of his bones or die upon impact but at least that is better than doing nothing and being engulfed by flames.

He waited as the man packed his items, making sure there was no evidence of his existence before making his way to the elevator, not forgetting to grab at Dazai’s crutches beforehand.

Asshole.

As the doors to the elevator close, he tried to stand, quickly making his way towards the windows, trying to hobble on one foot in hopes he would make it in time. Partly hoping he would be able to break the windows in the first place as he neared.

To say he reached it in the nick of time was an overestimation, instead, he reached the windows just as the bomb exploded, propelling him through the glass.

Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck fuck —

“Oi, shitty bastard, I leave you for a few minutes and you got yourself into trouble again.”

Ah, Chuuya.

“It’s your fault for taking your own sweet time.”

“Shut up.”

Being caught in the redhead’s arms, normally he would be full of insults and jest but this time… he’s really thankful for it. In a way, he supposes he should have learnt his lesson…

To never injure his legs ever again. It really is a hindrance.

[iamcinema]

IAC Reviews #19: Wishbone (2000)

Hey, is anyone still alive out there? I hope so.

Coming off of last year was a disaster, and well, we didn't enter 2021 on the highest of notes. I guess you could say I've been burned out and not having a ton of motivation to do a lot, even with how much I've been grinding on Letterboxd over the past few months. I think I'm ready to come back, and since there's a storm is brewing outside, let's make today a movie night...and boy, do I have a treat for you.

I think I've made it kind of apparent that I have a weakness for terrible, low-budget, trash fires. There's something oddly charming about them where they always find a way to lure me in, and given the scene on Letterboxd, there's a bunch of SOV masochists out there waiting to get their next fix. While digging around for material to cross off my lists on titles to find and add, I was reminded of a terrible, low-budget film that was shot in my hometown over 20 years ago. I'm full of fear for what's to come, and you should be too.

________________________________________

Wishbone is a 2000 horror film directed by Timothy Gaer and co-created by Michael Fasciana, centering on a woman named Laurie who receives an unusual artifact from her eccentric aunt she acquired from a pawn dealer that causes those around her to disappear when they make wishes on it. Hmm, seems simple enough. Let's what we're in for, and I'm absolutely not ready because the IMDb page says this shit is over two hours long, despite a version on Youtube having it just a bit over 90 minutes. Let us pray.

Wishbone in One Gif:

This acting is might be the death of me, but I'm not sure what's going to be the catalyst that causes me to fall down the stairs and break my neck: the sound quality, the weird editing, or the music...oh, god what the fuck is the music doing? So much noise, noise noise!

Okay, so let's dig into this before I take too long of a break and I don't come back to this. I've already had to pause the movie a few times to catch my breath or just rewind and go back because there's a good amount that I keep missing because, apparently, the star of the film is the score and not Laurie. This is so, so slow. I've seen a lot of long horror movies, but at least with those, it feels like things are happening. Even Blood Lake had filler that did something to some degree, and with that, it was consistently bad. This movie doesn't even know what it wants to do. So, as a disclaimer, there's a good chance I'm probably missing some key details that I didn't hear because it seems that characterization isn't important if the music insists on talking over everyone.

________________________________________

So, to date, this might be one of the worst horror movies (and movies in general) that I've ever seen and it might be one of the slowest things in the entire megaverse. This is over 90 minutes of, somehow, nothing and something happening simultaneously - if that makes any sense.

This takes its sweet ass time moving along and there's so little pay-off. The majority of the characters are either nameless or we aren't introduced to them in a way that matters enough for us to care about them. It's kind of like with Violent Shit and other low-budget slasher films where the majority of the characters serve no purpose but to be disposable. Next to the two main leads, Laurie and Joe, and maybe a few others, everyone is just forgettable and even then I couldn't honestly tell you anyone's name if it was explicitly brought up. IMDb isn't helpful either, and at this point it just makes me care even less. I'm not sure if my patience has been tested too much with this, but it's kind of sad that I'm more invested in seeing what the background characters are doing than Laurie and Joe - even though I can't really hear what the hell they're saying.

Yeah, I really can't move on without talking about the sound and the music. Why is it always the audio with these movies? This has an estimated budget of $100,000, or $154,779.43 today in August 2021. How do you have the ability to somehow not make this look like a potato for the most part, well for the day shots that is, but you don't have it in you to get a good mic and someone who knows how to mix and edit correctly? I would sort of understand if you spent the majority of the money on talent to cut corners, but this is just ridiculous. Did they use the cameras' built-in mics to catch the audio here?

I feel like I need to interrupt the movie constantly to tell them to speak up because if I turn up the volume, I'm just getting bombarded with this really weird soundtrack that doesn't fit. I shit you not, during one of the kill scenes, the music booming over it sounds like it was ripped from Kevin MacLeod's "lounge" library and then the reverse happens where ominous music is playing over a more touching scene - and that's not even a dig at Kevin as an artist. That's just how inappropriate and unfitting this editing is. The weird fucking thing about this specific kill scene is that it sounds like the audio is stacked, so there are two different instrumental tracks going on.

How do you fuck something as basic as tension up like that? The audio choices are so painfully inconsistent and it doesn't know what it wants to do. There are moments where you can hear the dialogue just fine, but then the music comes in out of nowhere to segway us into the next scene and it starts to muffle things out. If it isn't that, then the dialogue is just so soft that you'd think there was a pillow on the mic or we're hearing them from the opposite side of a sound-dampened room.

This is what I meant earlier when I said I apologize in advance if I miss anything crucial because I can't make out half of these conversations. So, I'm having to keep going back if I care enough or just having to pause and take breaks because there's only so much I can handle. This means that there's a good amount I'll blank on because I have to keep going back because I can't remember the majority of these no-named characters. Who the fuck are you people? Why am I supposed to care?

If I'm understanding the non-existent rules of the wishbone, you're connected to whoever dies in some way. So, why is any of this relevant to what's going on? If it's random, then it's another reason for me not to care just because some frat kids made a wish at some point. Again, who the hell are you and why am I supposed to lament over them? Why is there so much useless filler here? Did I mention that this is over 90 minutes long and there are *three* fucking party scenes? Party scenes are to Wishbone as ten-minute-long jetskiing and beer game scenes are to Blood Lake.

Oh, speaking of other shit that's annoying. Let's talk about general editing because the sound isn't the only thing that's a mess here.

I swear that almost every single scene in this ends with a fade-out/fade-in shot. Only one or two scenes come to mind where this doesn't happen, and the first time it did I thought my browser was freezing because it abruptly cut to black and then smash cuts to a party scene. I've never, ever seen a movie that abused this that much before and it's on par with something I would have seen made by a bunch of high school kids. So, when we have a moment where this doesn't happen and it plays out normally, it feels like a breath of fresh air. I'm sure this movie's run time could have been shaved down by at least a minute or two if this wasn't a problem, along with all the useless close-up shots that serve nothing to the plot.

It's such a waste of time. I'm so fucking tired. How was this movie's budget $100k? Did they spend most of it on renting the Scranton Police Department for a few shots or did it go towards their impromptu trip to Party City? I'm so tired and I don't care anymore.

Do you want to know what the real kicker is? With just barely twenty minutes left, the whole lore about the monkey's wishbone paw comes back and that's when Laurie and her friend Karen think something is weird. Isn't this whole realization trope that happens within the first or second act, not now with your Great Value brand version of the Dream Warriors?

Also, it's not specified how much time has gone by since the start, but it has to have been at least a week or two. It's incredibly weird how they paint the main characters and the unnamed background ones as such good friends that they don't think it's weird how almost all of them have disappeared - especially one girl who doesn't seem off-put that her boyfriend (or ex) disappeared after getting into an argument at one of the parties and none of his friends could reach him either at his own house.

The final showdown is an utter pain in the ass to get through because the conflict ends as abruptly as it starts and it's so unsatisfying. We get to see the face of our villain, I guess, and then more or less cut to our leads holding hands down the street set to the same looping lounge music we've been dealing with for over 90 damn minutes. Is everyone else who went with them dead? Did they live? Who cares! That's one thing the movie and I can agree on since we never see them again. We end on a shitty cliffhanger that's supposed to prepare us for a sequel, which thankfully never happened.

________________________________________

And that was Wishbone. Holy fucking shit, I've never been so thankful for a movie to be over in my life. It's 11:07 PM as of tinkering with some minor revisions and I've been in purgatory with this for over five hours, and yet, it feels like an entire lifetime has gone by.

I've raved about how bad Blood Lake was with its incredibly bad pacing, but this is next level awful and a testament to bad filmmaking if I've ever seen it. I expect a lot of the things I complained about from super amateur filmmakers who are shooting on an actual shoestring budget, not people who had that much money to fuck around with. How did they have that kind of a budget, and the most they can give us is bad audio, Windows Movie Maker levels of basic editing, three wrap parties, and a few crumbs of gore that we could see?

This was physically painful to see and I'm in much worse shape having endured it than I would have been if I sat through something liked Boardinghouse, and that has a two-and-a-half-hour-long version tied to it. This is just a marvel and I mean that in a so-bad-it's-bad way, not like how SOV enthusiasts who love this stuff pine over. If I had to give one thing going for it, one single granule of gold that I enjoyed from this, it's the limited shots we get of the area so I could make a game out of seeing what local spots I recognized. If playing I Spy is the only way for someone to endure your movie, then I don't know what else to say.

Wishbone is a hot mess where shit's happening, but also nothing is happening at the same time. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. In fact, I wish this movie never existed or would die in the ether and never return to our mortal realm ever again. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go have a smoke and hope I don't get run over by a hearse tomorrow.

RATING: 0.5/10

[olivyh]

Into Wonderland Chapter Five: Pomefiore part One

TW: Violence and descriptions of death

Mc coughs and sputters, sand flying out of their mouth and landing on the soft grass in front of them. They gag as they spit more and more out of their mouth, recoiling at the foul taste it left in their mouth. 

"That..." They groan. "Was the worst one yet. He had good intentions, but..." They trail off when they hear a soft lullaby in the distance. Mc looks at the woods around them, then their eyes trail up the massive castle they woke up in front of. The old stone is cleaned to perfection, the large stained glass windows reflecting the bright sunlight and casting colorful shadows across the small garden they stand in. Even the vines seem to spiral up the walls and the flowers attached to them seem to blossom perfectly, not a single petal wilting or discolored. 

The voice continues to sing, the soft song turning into a melancholy one as Mc creeps through the garden, running their hand along the smooth stone. They turn and see a small boy, his delicate face twisted into a sad smile as he sings into an old wishing well. Despite his clothes being tattered and worn, his soft features remind Mc of a cherub, with his light brown eyes reflecting the water down below, dark hair contracting with his pale skin that sparkles in the sun. 

He was the prettiest boy Mc had ever seen. 

Turning the corner, they lightly call out to him. "U-uhm, hello!" They boy jumps up, face flushing a light pink before he smiles fondly at them.

"Oh, hello!" He slowly walks up to them, bowing his head slightly. He stares up at them with his doe-like eyes, making them stammer as something moves in the woods out of the corner of their eye. They jolt and look over, only to see the same forest that had always been there. Taking a shaky sigh, they decide to try to talk to the boy again. 

"Your voice is very nice to listen to..." They compliment. The boy beams. 

"You think so? That's so good to hear!" He chirps happily. The birds in the garden seem to mimic him with their own chirps, circling around the boy happily. "You look lost, though. Is something the matter?"

Mc smiles and nods. "Yes, I've actually been trying to find my way home for quite some time now-"

"Oh! I can help you with that!" They boy grabs their hands and leads them past the wishing well, pushing the heavy wooden door open and leading them through the castle. They stare at the various paintings on the walls. Flowers, vast, empty fields, sparkling gemstones. They pause when they see a painting of a regal looking man, his purple eyes staring down at the duo sharply, corners of his perfectly painted lips quirked up in a smile that would be friendly, if it weren't for the way the rest of his face appeared scrutinizing. They boy noticed their stares and smiled, pulling their hand and pointing up at the man. 

"He's very beautiful, isn't he?" Mc nods in agreement. "That's my stepbrother, Vil Schoenheit. He's been running this house since our parents both..." He trails off, lip quivering. Mc tries to comfort him by rubbing his shoulder. He smiles up at them and continues to leads them through the hallway. 

"Oh! I never told you my name!" He turns to them and ducks his head in another bow. "I'm Neige LeBlanche!"

"Mc Crowley," They smile at him. He nods and continues to lead them until they're stopped by a tall man wearing a large, wide brimmed hat. He smiles down at Mc, placing a hand over his heart and kneeling down. He smiles up at them widely, bright green eyes making them wary of the man's actions. 

"Pardon, dear guest," He turns back to Neige and smiles at the boy. "Ma reine requested assistance in preparing his robes for the meeting with the nobles tomorrow."

"Ah, right," They boy nods. "Uhm, Rook?"

"Hm?"

"Could you please help Mc here try to find their way home? I was just bringing them to Vil to see if he had anything-"

"Why of course!" The man exclaims rather loudly, making Mc shrink back a bit. He turns to Mc as Neige prances away. "Now if you'd follow me, mon petit oiseau."

Mc nods and scampers close behind the man, who's long strides make it difficult for them to follow. He leads them deeper into the castle, where the sunlight struggles to reach and the once welcoming stone interior feels cold and distant. They turn the corner and Mc notices a soft yellow light shining under a large oak door, followed by swearing and the sound of a mirror shattering. Rook freezes, holding his hand out to the side to stop them. 

They look up at him as he places a gloved finger over his mouth and motions for them to stay where they are. They gulp and nod, anxiety clawing at their chest as the man enters the room. Mc peeks around the corner, struggling to see through the small crack the man had left in the door. There stands the same man from the painting, except this time his perfect makeup is smudged across his eye as he takes deep, steadying breaths. His long purple robes sweep the floor  as he strides over to a large vanity, frustratedly running his fingers over the smudges and fixing it up in the large mirror. 

"Ma reine, whatever is troubling you?" Rook stands behind the man, delicately fixing the long braids that had come loose in the back on his head. The man continues to fume again, hands shaking as he slowly puts down the lipstick he was ready to apply. 

"My hunter-" The man begins, turning in his plush chair. "I need you to kill the boy." Mc covers their mouth with their hands, fear rising in their chest.

"Whatever for, mon chéri?"

"The mirror had said it again- I cannot let him beat me once more." He says simply. "I need you to end it here."

"Hear my pleas, I beg of you," The blonde tries to stand in front of the beautiful man, who scowls at him. "Can't you just lock him away? Why must you end his life so soon?"

"It would do no good for him to keep him in that kind of misery," Mc feels their eyes start to water a bit as they imagine the kind boy stuck in a cold dungeon, or his body laying cold in a coffin. "I cannot allow him to live the life I had until now, Rook."

"That is why you must end it now."

The man tips his hat again, emerald eyes turns towards and ground and lips twitching into a frown. 

"Of course, ma reine." He leaves the room and closes the door behind him with a soft thud, grabbing Mc's arm rather harshly and dragging them along in silence. They wince as the pressure becomes almost too much to bear and they try to pull it back. 

"Rook, please!" They yank their arm back, making the man freeze. He stares at them apologetically, ducking his head. 

"My apologies," He says, once bright voice hollow. 

"Rook, you don't have to do this! There had to be another way!" They almost beg. "We can- we-" They stutter, waving their arms around. "He-"

Rook's eyes light up and he grabs both their shoulders in his hands, holding them out in front of them, a relieved smile crossing his face. 

"That's it!" He cheers, rather loudly. Mc freezes, hoping they were far enough from Vil that he didn't hear it. "I'm begging you- take the boy and run into the woods..." He kneels in front of them, grasping their hands in his. "Take him as far as possible and never come back, keep him safe-"

Mc stammers and tries to get him to stand, pulling at his robes and trying to hoist him up. "O-of course! But..." They pause. "Will you be okay? What if Vil finds out?"

The hunter shakes his head. "What he will do to me doesn't hold a candle to what that poor boy would have been put through, so please, as fast as possible-" The man grabs them and leads them to a more desolate a run down part of the castle, pushing them into a small bedroom. 

Neige jumps and smiles at them, standing up from his position on the floor. Mc gulps and feels a bead of sweat form on their forehead as they grab the confused boy's hands and pull him up, stammering. 

"Neige, we need to go!" They grab a small bag that sits at the foot of his bed and hands it out to him. "You're in danger, so please, come with me!"

"In danger?" The boy yelps. "W-what about Vil? Is he okay?"

"Yes! Yes!" They push him to pack what little things he owned, throwing whatever food they could find into a separate bag. "Rook is taking care of him." Their voice breaks as they grab the boys hand and sprint out the castle, bags in hand. They jump over roots and under pathways, experience from the Savanah kicking in. Thankfully, all those hunting expeditions improved their endurance greatly. 

Neige on the other hand is panting and gasping for air by the time they finally settle down. He collapses to the ground, hands shaking as he chokes and coughs into his hand, face flushed and sweat drenching his dirty clothes. Mc hands him a flask of water they'd collected from a nearby stream and he gulps it down greedily, hands shaking too badly to hold it straight to his mouth. 

The forest around them is dark, and they hear all sorts of odd sounds coming from the trees above them. The boy seems to notice this, curling into himself and shaking. 

Mc climbs a nearby tree, scanning the forest for a place they could set up camp. They see a pillar of smoke rise in the distance and climb back down, seeing the boy's unconscious form slumped against an old stump, water canister spilling out onto the ground. 

"Neige?!" They yelp, reaching for the boy's shoulders and shaking him. He wakes with a gasp, features softening when he realizes that it was only them. He tries to sit up but his legs give out under him, too weak to stand on their own. 

"How much farther?" He whispers, voice shaking.

"Not too much. There's a house nearby we can stay in for the night-" The boy nods and, with Mc's help, stands, leaning against them for support. They hobble over to the cabin, deciding to open the door and sneak in after nobody answered their heavy knocks. They sit Neige down on a wooden chair, wetting a washcloth and handing it to him before getting another for themselves. 

They look over to see the now sleeping boy curled up across the length of all the small beds, taking up half of them despite being in a ball. 

Mc reaches over and lays on their side, back to back with the boy as they let exhaustion take over, eyelids heavy as they let sleep take them.

I’m linking the other parts here since for some reason it’s not letting me link them in the masterlist!