#this isn't a cry for help though im okay. like im not even disappointed this is pretty much how i expected things to go

[ellistocracy]

spent all your money on christmas and now have no money for my birthday present? not to worry! here is a short list of just some of the things you can give me for absolutely free!

a fucking break

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- when you're injured

SCOUPS:

he's speeding you to the hospital no matter how small the injury is. will lowkey make a big deal out of something as tiny as a cut. scolds you for not telling him sooner and for putting yourself in harms way. coddles you once you're home, refusing to let you touch a single piece of housework. he'll mother hen over you for at least a couple days before he accepts you're ready to be independent once again.

JEONGHAN:

laughs. (im so sorry) he will 100% start cackling first before he asks if you're okay. makes fun of you as he takes care of you and reenacts the moment for your viewing pleasure. scolds you for being so clumsy and will baby you as you recover.

JOSHUA:

the type of immediately jump into action. the moment you cry out in pain or he sees you falling, he's by your side as if he's teleported. holds you as he checks your injury, fussing over it and asking if you need to go to the hospital. will take you anyways even if you say no. holds your hand the whole time. tells you to be more careful cause he doesn't like seeing you in any sort of pain.

JUN:

if it's a particularly funny way you injury yourself, he'll eat that shit up. is too busy laughing to check if you're okay until you start crying and he'll be like oh shit it's real okay let me lock in. extra attentive once he realizes its serious.

HOSHI:

the type to let out a loud scream when he sees you go down with an injury - you'd think he was the one in pain. he wants to help, he swears - but he's just as lost as you are. the only thing he knows is to take you to the hospital for professionals to help you since he can't.

WONWOO:

is immediately playing doctor with the random bits of knowledge he's gained on the medical side of tiktok (why he's on the medical side of tiktok idk). he's meticulous and precise with it, taking care of you like it's his profession. will crack a few jokes (albeit quite poor jokes) to try and cheer you up. reads to you as you try to fall asleep, his attempt at distracting you from the pain.

WOOZI:

realistically, woozi hears about your injury over the phone. he's at work in his studio cooking up another massive banger, and isn't fazed when he picks up your call. you tend to call him at least twice to make sure he's eating anyways. worried when you tell him what happened and asks if you need him there with you. either way, he's packing up to leave asap, no longer in the mindset to work knowing you're in pain.

MINGHAO:

if your injury was your own fault, he'll look at you like: (¬_¬") he's sighing at your clumsiness and you can hear the disappointment as he tends to your injury, all the while nagging about how you've got to be more careful. calls his mom to ask which herbal medicine will fix you faster - jokingly comes back with ginseng tea, telling you its to fix your clumsy ass brain.

DK:

screeches when he sees you drop. gags at the sight of blood. he approaches you slowly, hands shaking to check if you're okay. he's inwardly very panicked and lowkey not hiding it well. this wasn't in the boyfriend handbook! he's ready to be there for you though, cheering you up with funny anecdotes about him and the boys, doing his best to make you laugh through the pain. he will do anything you need him to during recovery -- just far from blood and anything icky that might come with it.

MINGYU:

lowkey probably the cause of the injury (sorry gyu stans, yk i'm right tho) he apologizes profusely, stating that he is 'just a clumsy big boy' and cannot help that he just has a rougher hand with things. makes it up to you with snacks, cooking and cuddles. allows you to use this incident against him till the end of time, although he gets sulky every time you bring it up.

SEUNGKWAN:

complains that he's got to take care of you but does it lovingly anyways. "i'm doing this cause i love you. you're lucky i love you or i would've left you suffering ages ago." gives you that signature seungkwan side eye if the injury was your fault. chides you to be more careful.

VERNON:

his first instinct is to ease the pain with bad jokes. will ask you if you'd wanted it to happen 'is this the result you wanted, baby?' and will quickly stfu when you glare at him. follows your orders on how to take care of you cause he's lowkey very lost. puts on a movie once everything is done to help you relax and to take your mind off the pain.

DINO:

ya'll 100% were doing something stupid and got injured together. dino has that 'you say jump, i say how high' energy, and you're definitely both in pain because one of you was doing something for jokes and the other joined for fun. takes care of you while complaining about his own pain. is a big baby when its your turn to take care of him. tells you to never bring this up to his hyungs or else he will never hear the end of it.

[burby2007]

I need to apologize I need to take a break for a while I might occasionally post something Eddsworld related but yeah going to take a break I'm a very mentally ill person and sometimes during a mental breakdowns I do some not great things mostly just cry and wish death upon myself and tell people that they deserve so much better than me which sadly I still agree with I generally don't understand why anybody wants to do with me but they do the main reason why I wanted to take a break because of my disappointment in the team on Eddsworld

I don't dislike them but there's certain attributes about the team that I'm not a big fan of me and one of my friends agree that Matt's kind of seems a little greedy now I know especially one of my fans / friends will disagree and you know what she has the right to feel that way I like Matt but he's kind of seeming like he's a little greedy with certain things but that's just me no one's truly perfect I'm not a big fan though so they did the Yootuz thing with tord like the man just wants to be left alone you probably what about the end part 1 and 2 honestly yeah it's kind of the same thing but when it comes to that at least it actually has some married to it because without tord it really would have been the end.

Anyways here's my opinion about the crew the animators no issue with really honestly I like no issue with 90% of the crew the only ones I have an issue with is really just I think I'll have an issue with Matt possibly to be fair I can judge him completely though we truly don't know what's going on behind the scenes and I guess diei because I texted him and he has never responded for like 2 weeks and it really bothers me even though he said he's busy a lot but at this point I just gave up sorry that he doesn't like me or something.

Also another issue I have is Beyond's kind of slowly going downhill like the comedies kind of stretched out and honestly that's all it's more commercialized and it's ever been which that I'm nutshell isn't bad but the marketing is like so forced it's kind of annoying and honestly like Tom's voice actor like makes a kind of worse because it's like it's like such a marketing voice it's kind of sad but you know he's a good voice actor so I can't hate him too much now with all these criticisms towards the crew do I hate Eddsworld no do I need to take a break from them yes it does not help the fact I am still grieving over my father in my mental health is slowly decreased ever since his passing and I worry that I'm going to say something wrong so I should probably take a break.

That doesn't mean I'm completely done with Eddsworld forever though I think I'm forever stuck to it call me edd head addict if you will but I think it's time for me to step down for a little bit I hope you all be okay and understand it it might not be a long break to be honest cuz my attention spans like a nutshell so I don't know I do know one thing I'll never talk any of the Eddsworld members ever again Miuns if they want to talk to me or something which we all know they don't want to. But yeah um its edd day soo yeah im tried so gn

I love you edward

[gladdygirl18]

This one is gonna be somewhat of a quick TTS, but knowing me, its gonna end up being longer than expected

TW: slight angst, mention of sex

Blue me, orange BF

So about a few days ago, either Monday or Tuesday, my boyfriend went to the mall and I had gotten some pokemon cards. We have this thing where we would buy them and open them together.

well.... i got a little impatient and opened a few without him. in the end we opened the rest of them but on the drive back to his place, i could tell he was upset cuz the drive was too quiet. When we got back to his house, he had this upset and disappointed look on his face, and it was almost frightening. Making this clear, he didn't yell at me or strike me (he is not that kind of boyfriend at all)

after i apologized and said that if he was upset still, I was going to give him some space. he then had me sit on his lap and had a talk about patience, and i absolutely felt horrible because (side rant) my boyfriend and I are waiting to have sex on our marriage night because of my religion. I'm Christian and waiting until marriage to have sex is a deal breaker for me. If you are not willing, then we're not meant to be together, and my boyfriend is willing to wait however long it takes. Yeah, he talks about what he wants us to do on our marriage night, but have we ever did it? Nope. He always tells me im worth the wait, which is why he is waiting

This is something big that he is waiting for with me, and I felt awful cuz i couldn't wait 5 minutes for him to open pokemon cards. After he went upstairs to grab something to eat, I had basically curled up into the corner of the couch and kinda wept silently (i am a very emotional person and if i do smth that isn't "acceptable" or right or if i accidentally and unintentionally upset someone, I tend to let it eat away at me and i cry)

I then kinda fell asleep for a bit and then I just hear my boyfriend saying "Glas, I'm here. I love you. Don't apologize I'm here. It's ok"

I woke up in sweat and tears and laying in my boyfriend's arms.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, w-what happened?"

He just shook his head and pulled me closer. Then I started tearing up again, saying over and over "I'm sorry. I should've waited you. You're waiting with and for me for something big and I can't even wait for you to open pokemon cards."

"Hey hey, its okay. I forgive you. I was a little upset yeah, but I shouldn't have expressed it as if i was angry at you. I'm sorry. You have nothing to apologize for."

For like half an hour, I just kept crying and saying "I'm sorry" because I genuinely felt so bad for what I did, even though it was something so small, it was something we did together and i kinda ruined it by not waiting to do it with him.

After I finally calmed down, my boyfriend scooped me in his arms, "are you feeling better, honey?"

"a little..."

"good enough for me!"

he then starts tickling me all over (side rant but related) whenever I am tired or feel emotionally drained (especially after crying a lot) I literally become numb to tickles. Like its just a weird sensation that doesn't make me laugh, giggle, or squirm. My boyfriend is very persistent though, and always knows how to break through that numbness.

"Come on, baby, please laugh."

he then moved to my feet, tore off my socks, and started tickling them. I will say I was squirming a lot, but I wasn't laughing.

"I really need to buy you those cuffs.... that way I can tickle you mercilessly!"

AEUTUWNFNAFUGE I CANT WITH HIM 😭😆💖

The way he said that made him sound so silly and goofy. He then started tickling my thighs, sides, armpits, my neck, and he was just cooing teases at me.

"Tickle tickle tickle!" "Coochie coo!" "Tktktktktk!"

When he started tickling the spot near my waist and hip, I finally started laughing, and my boyfriend couldn't help but laugh along. I remember sliding off the couch with my top part hitting the floor, and ofc, my boyfriend took advantage of that and started tickling me until I fell on the ground.

After that, we went into the kitchen to heat up some late night dinner. I then reached up and hugged him, "Thanks for that, and again, I'm really sorry for not waiting."

"Again, you have nothing too apologize for. I don't even like the pokemon cards that much, but I like opening them with you because I know it makes you happy when you get the really rare ones"

I DONT DESERVE HIM 😭😭💖🥰😭💖

so yeah, not much tickling tickling in this but i needed to give the context. sorry if it was a bit on the angsty side, and i will say i was tearing up a bit writing this cuz even now, it still hurts a bit, even tho my boyfriend has forgiven me for it.

More to come, so stay tuned!

tagging: @giggly-squiggily @sunstone-smiles @otomiyaa @burningablaze @cutesmokes @jettorii

[mainfaggot]

summary of today (sept. 30th '24)

- admired the sunlight and shadows while sitting on the bus this morning. also, felt as though i was sticking out like a sore thumb due to my haircut and outfit. sat up straighter and lifted my chin up. #fakeittillyoumakeit

- couldn't concentrate on studying after my psych research lab. i was just so on edge. my face, ears, neck were all so warm and i couldn't sit still. my head was aching slightly and my jaw was all stiff. sighs were constantly escaping my mouth and i couldn't help it. i think the lack of sleep and being socially drained from last night were getting to me.

- managed to get some of my readings done for around an hour. linguistics was okay. experienced some moments of Satisfaction (teacher's pet moments. lol) followed by.... a sense of disillusionment. i caught myself wondering if putting all this pressure on myself was worth it; i stress myself out, and yes, i end up performing well in class ... but even that doesn't feel Good Enough to me at the end of the day. im always disappointed in myself because an 89 isn't a 90, a 94 isn't a 95, and a 98 isn't 100, etc. anyway, i felt so fucking stupid for allowing my performance in class to have such a grip on my mood and self worth.

- talked to one of the white gayboys (there are two!) after the spanish linguistics lecture ended. he seemed very eager to talk shit about the other white gayboy. funny thing (not funny)... i was the one who started the shit talking... i don't know why i did that. i think i just wanted to talk about anything but the actual course. still, i should have talked about idk!!!! coffee orders or the weather!!!! instead of shading some gayboy who glared in my direction one (1) time. it was childish on my part, i think.

- felt like crying on the bus home. felt better when i was finally home. felt like crying after getting changed. felt better when my mom said something nice to me. felt like crying while folding laundry. felt better after. felt like crying again. and now we're here.

[pepper-m00n]

hi i do not usually make posts like these but i am SUFFERING. sobbed for thirty minutes.

okay so i am in my schools top choir wich is a chamber choir/a capella group. its audition and upperclassmen only. everyone is fairly good except for ONE GIRL who we will call Grinch (because she is ruining my Christmas spirit.

here are my feelings and frustrations about Grinch.

-skips at least a rehearsal a week (we rehearse 5 days a week and everyone else shows up) without an excuse

-she is open to admit that she is singing the WRONG NOTES. CANT READ MUSIC. AND CLAIMS 'TRACKS DONT HELP HER'.

-her tone and vowels and rythym are so off that it sounds like she is the only one on her part (because she is also singing the wrong notes)

-one time during a concert she somehow got a solo (pity), started on the wrong note, and since we are an a capella group we all had to adjust to her so we were ALL SINGING THE WRONG PITCHES FOR THE WHOLE SONG AND HAD TO START OVER COMPLETELY FROM THE BEGINNING.

-our director has said that we are better when grinch is not there (she doesn't show up to half the gigs)

-she can't do any of the movements or dances right

-EVERYONE in the group can't stand next to her without also messing up. nobody know how she got in in the first place.

-she is bossy and nobody likes her.

-in the musical she had one line that she only said for one of the six shows. (she missed two of them because of the flu)

-she showed up for our last concert even though she had the flu (yet missed classes because she was 'fainting periodically'. you do not faint if you have the flu.) and got everyone sick.

anyway, I sobbed for thirty minutes tonight because we went on live tv this morning and she made us sound terrible. actually terrible I lostened to the youtube video of the first song and IMMIDETLEY started crying it was so bad, and so disappointing because we are so good when she isn't there.

i was standing right behind her and you could hear me singing the right notes in the recording and she was singing something COMPLETELY different for EVERY song even though we are supposed to be on the same voice part.

and now tomorrow we have to carol around the whole school and we are going to sound like shit just because of her and im so mad she has to sing with us when she misses half the rehearsals and doesn't know her notes and yet still sings so GODDAMN LOUD.

I am so embarrassed and mortified that my reputation will be ruined because of a random girl that cant pull her weight. i have been looking forward to being in this group for YEARS and she is ruining it for me.

im autistic and I love singing, it's something that really calms be down and brings me a lot of comfort but I can't honestly say that I enjoy being in this group if she is in it.

if anyone has any advice i am ALL EARS.

i have been looking forward to Christmas carol grams for years and she is going to ruin it for me.

[destinys-system]

This ones a big rant so like feel free to ignore im just getting it out of my system (no pun intended)

- has a complete and utter meltdown at 12am about my own sexuality, agency and internalized self hate over it and how that has manifested into being an extremely horny person who actively hates themselves for it bc i still haven't managed to fully convince myself that im not somehow horrible and evil for it. (Note this logic literally only applies to me for some reason. Everyone else is allowed to enjoy sex its only me whos evil and bad for it)

I literally split two different people because of this issue, and honestly, sometimes i feel even worse bc their whole thing is supposed to be helping me with intimacy and self-acceptance especially around my body and sexuality and yet im STILL having sobbing meltdowns because i feel so morally fucked.

I wish i knew how to explain the logic but also im aware this is trauma talking and thus there really *isn't* any logic, just circles my brain is running in to make it seem like it makes sense.

🖤♦️ is repeatedly (and god with so much patience, it's astounding) reminding me that being emotionally open especially about trauma is HARD but worth it if i want to actually feel better.

🩷🕸 is consistently reminding me sex is morally neutral and deeply enjoying it, yes even the more unhinged stuff, is *okay* and theres nothing evil about it

And idk, man, i just keep crying. i don't feel like i deserve any of this help. I feel like im wasting their time and effort. They could be a lot happier if they weren't dealing with someone so broken.

I am trying though. Im trying to put on a brave face and be proud of who i am and not shame myself out of shit but sometimes days like this hit me where i see everyone else in my fandom spaces doing like. Cool stuff. And i see nonestop posts about how sick of porn people are and i feel this gutting sense of shame and i gotta crawl into a corner and cry again.

And it sucks bc like I've tired to talk to people irl/out of my system about it but they just don't seem to grasp how much this is effecting me, my self confidence, how much i hate myself. It sucks.

I feel like a disappointment on all fronts. Disappointing for being gross, disappointing because i have nothing to bring to fandom, and disappointing because i can't seem to internalize the help my partners are trying to give me.

[chuluoyi]

https://www.tumblr.com/chuluoyi/739464723579437056/hello-chuto-you-its-your-cat-anon-here-i?source=share

Hi!

How's ur day?

Ur so right about LYK..the cheater role isn't for him. And that actress doing soomin also not it😭😷 please save me from this drama so disappointing BYE I wish there was someone else for soomin role 😭

I don't have any pets. I wish I had, though. I did have a dog around 8 -9 years ago, but we gave it away. It takes effort to take care of them. im still a student, so I don't have one. Besides, I'm living with my parents. I'll get a retriever and an orange cat🥹 when I start living on my own. Actually, I am scared of dogs.

Flashback to 5 years ago, I went out to get something from a local store, this dog they had was out. The dog kept barking at me (maybe because of my mask), and then it almost bite me. I was crying for my life. That shop owner just kept saying "shh shh." I was so pissed at him lol, but I just came home. I actually think animals hate me or something. There's some cows/ox on my way to college. I have to hold onto my dear life every time I pass them. One time, I got hit by one of those (thanks to my neighbor guy who saved me. It was embarrassing for me. The save was heroic, and I fell in love with him, my savior 😩jk) I took a different path one time when I saw a group of them standing, it felt like those bastards were waiting for me. I took like extra 5 kms to walk and to make the day worse, some guys(I hate) in my class made fun of me. The day is printed on my head!

I do keep attracting reptiles(hate em) and insects. Like snakes, all kinda lizards (they are ewww), skinks!

Story time 2:

2016/7, we used to live in a very foresty(I forgot the word) kind of area, the grass was tall as my dad (6 ft). Basically everything lived there. It's a place straight out of horror movies. Had to live there because of my parent's job there. One day, I was going to take my books from the shelf to study. This shitty huge ass skink jumped onto my lap. I didn't know it got there. IT WAS SO HUGE I didn't know they can get that big. Still gives me goosebumps and nausea. I seen too many snakes,centipedes and I'm not bothered by them atp. Oh and ants and other insects love me, they always kiss me on the lips[sarcasm] (istg they always bite my lips😭😭 I don't even know how they get there)

I had a spider as a pet. I loved it but someone killed it..probably they were scared of my baby.

That was long! We got diverted from the og path.

Do you have any pets?

cat anon!!🥹 i'm sorry for taking a long of time to reply, i just went back from my vacation and i prefer to answer long ask through my laptop :'))

my days are going okay lately! thank you for asking🥹 what about yours??

RIGHT?! omg maybe i'm biased but i still think he's best with comedic roles rather than serious... murder-y roles, like it doesn't suit his personality (or face) at all😭 HAHAHAH the way you scrapped it omg, and now i'm too because yeah... i can't take this farce any longer😭

ahhh i so relate!! my parents didn't allow pets because it'll take a lot to care for them and such, and my househelper isn't that reliable either so yeah, pets are banned in my house😭

omg... that's so scary😭 if i were you i'd be scared shitless too! that shopkeeper grrrrr why didn't he do anything to help🥲 cows?! okay... that's new... i never know that cows can be aggressive🥹 but isn't that sweet that your neighbor helped you out!? i'd swoon over being saved from cows too!!🥹 and experience like that would totally be printed in my head for as long as i live :')))

SNAKES JASDKA i know i hate them too they're scary and dangerous🥲 and insects! i think i also have this magnet for attracting roaches... ew i hate them so much, they look so dirty and what's more... can fly?! i was screaming my head off when i saw one flying over my head ajdsdsdas and centipedes... i'm so scared of them, is it true that they're poisonous?

the "everything lived there" took me out😭 omg cat anon, if i were to be put in your place, i'd do everything you were doing too ahahahah... but spider? i'm also scared of spiders too... (now that i think about it, there are many things i'm scared of lmao) i kind of admire you for having spider as a pet!🥹

pets that i had is limited to fishes and fishes only🥹 they are in an aquarium, you only need to sprinkle food and leave them🥹 they're peaceful and that's why my parents allowed me to have some...

[weadapt]

(I read your tags @cal-with-a-kesett-tape )

....here's the thing. I have two versions of the POSSIBLE story in my brain that IM NOT GOING TO WRITE. First one, like you said, his parents have reservations of giving him up because they heard the horror stories, and they love him, and there's the impact of, what @eddawrites said in the comments, well-meaning friends/family giving him hand-me-downs and making his life awful, but the seekers come, explain what's going on with him, his parents make the hard decision of saying farewell to Cal, Cal finally has some relief because the Jedi know what to do, end story. Overall light, kinda happy(ish) story.

The other version in my brain uh...................................... okay, listen, ....... it's not so light....... if there is a baby, from birth pretty much, who is constantly crying, suddenly scared for (from everyone's perspective) no good reason, nothing anyone does calms Cal down, he won't sleep, and if he does sleep it's more like he passes out from exhaustion more than actually sleeping but he's not unconscious for long, he's just constantly screaming and crying till there are no more tears, and they can barely get him on a normal eating pattern because nearly everything baby Cal interacts with causes a fit so no one wants to interact with him anymore, but his parent(s) try to take him to the doctor but they have no idea what's wrong, by all their scans he's fine, so the parent(s) are tired, they haven't slept, they're frustrated, angry, they're frankly losing their minds and this goes on for days, weeks, months maybe—how do parents in that kind of situation of dealing with a non-stop crying child, when they're at their wits end, often react/almost react? huh? you know the answer. and it's, to me, the most unfortunately realistic reaction in that situation because you hear a lot of stories of that kind of abuse happening to babies/young kids when they just can't stop crying. So before the parent(s) almost do that to Cal, someone has to come in, save him, steal him, they go on a journey across star systems to try and find him help but no doctors, know matter how many they go to, knows what's wrong with him, they don't know what's causing the seizures, the crying fits, the blank, thousand-yard stares, but this person who takes Cal in isn't going to give up on him, not like everyone in his life before gave up on him, there has to be a solution somewhere out there, but in the meantime, they try to find ways to help Cal cope, how to help him calm down, and try to find things which make Cal happy, try to find places where he can safely play and safely interact with the world, with nature or animals without having adverse reactions, they introduce him to things maybe like turbo dogs and other things and just try to find him a little relief until a solution for him can be found. Maybe a good amount of time passes on this quest, maybe weeks, months, maybe this character takes on a job maybe as a courier of some sort to have enough money to still be able to travel to different places, I don't know, but it's an ongoing struggle, and maybe there's a point where it's getting desperate, Cal is getting worse and worse and these sudden reactions, seizures, petrified moments where he's just paralyzed, can't get him to snap out of, it's all really really starting to affect his health more than before, he's refusing to eat, he can't sleep, none of the coping mechanisms are helping, he's withering away, there's a moment of hope though, some mention of a doctor who knows more than other doctors perhaps. so this character is willing to do anything, even something illegal, just to have the funds to get to this special doctor, but this is another fraud, another disappointment, cal isn't going to get help, in-between all of this the character trying to help Cal has been having this sense that they're being followed, makes them uneasy, the feeling is valid, they are being follow, and eventually it's revealed that the people following them are seekers for force-sensitives and they are willing/know how to help cal, but are they trust worthy??? can't just hand Cal over to these strangers, not after taking care of him for so long, Cal has to be protected from these people, they probably have bad intentions, so this is a matter of getting out of the star system as quickly as possible, Cal is in danger.... so they take Cal far away from that place, but this is still desperate, Cal needs help. These seekers track them down again and prove they can help Cal....... and this character who has protected and loved and taken care of Cal for all this time has to make the hardest decision, they chose to let him go....... they say goodbye....

and yeah that's the second idea in my brain

If I POSSIBLY (no promises) wrote a story of Cal having severe echos at a very, very young age and his parent(s) struggling to find a way to help him, what would you ultimately want out of the story?

[t0shii]

% comforting them when they're upset

.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.

.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩

oikawa

— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.

"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.

"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."

the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.

"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.

"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.

tsukishima

— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.

you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.

when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.

"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."

"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.

matsuwaka

— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.

"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.

"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.

the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."

you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.

[murdertoothpick]

would you consider writing something with tech & him teaching the reader in a way that makes sense to them? Maybe the reader is neurodivergent & hasn't had anyone really sit down & adapt to their learning style? I'm imagining Tech coming across the reader while they're upset bc the head mechanic just belittled them for not understanding something

our views

Pairing: Tech x gn!Reader

Warnings: crying, mention of supervisor being mean, FLUFF W/ TECH THOUGH

Word count: 561

A/N: i feel like this could maybe be a pre- one shot of my other tech piece (though there are some inconsistencies),, but anyways i went sort of in a different direction to this (as to avoid the teaching stuff because me trying to write about techy things is hard/maybe one day when im further into my engineering course)

Hyperspace was always beautiful. The blurring of stars and colours as you travelled across the galaxy was an escape to you, as were your assignments with the Bad Batch.

Sitting by yourself in one of the seats of the cockpit, you tried desperately to forget about your earlier meeting with your supervisor. Maybe, you could blame your blurred vision on the speed of the Marauder, rather than the tears in your eyes.

You hear someone take a seat next to you, pulling the chair up to the control panel. You don't want to look at them, not when your cheeks are flushed and stained with tears.

'Spectacular, isn't it?' he speaks, and you recognise it as Tech.

'Mhmm,' you agree, though you can't bring yourself to turn your head or say any more.

It's quiet for a while. He's thinking about what to say, but you are too immersed in your thoughts to really consider how awkward it is.

'How was your meeting today?'

It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, you didn't quite catch his question.

'...your meeting with the supervisor,' he clarifies upon your lack of response.

'Oh yeah, that...,' you shakily inhale, 'Could've gone better.' You nod to yourself, bitterness and disappointment marring your features.

'Is there anything you need help with?' he looks at you, even as you're turned away from him.

But when you finally look at him, sad eyes and lips quivering, he's not sure how to react. 'It's just that...they're trialling a new tracking beacon, right, and we're all meant to learn how to install them onto the older ships—'

'—but you haven't worked on hybrid mechanics,' he finishes for you.

You smile sadly at him, 'Precisely. And when I told him that he just yelled at me for not having learnt it at the academy!'

You huff, crossing your arms in exasperation.

'You know...this ship is pretty old,' he points out, but the way you quirk your brow at him shows him you already knew that.

'Oh really,' you laugh, pointedly leaning back into your seat to hear it creak, 'hadn't noticed.'

He lets out a light laugh at that. Okay, he's gotten you to cheer up a bit at least. It's encouraging.

'...And you know how to make this new beacon right?'

'Yeah, I brought the blueprints with me.'

He smiles at you, bringing his chair closer. 'Okay,' he breathes, 'how about, you make that beacon, and we can install it to this ship together?'

You can't help the smile that tugs at the corner of your lips. 'You'd do that?'

Without hesitation, Tech assures you, 'I'd love to.'

You spring out of your seat, latching your arms around his shoulders, 'Thank you thank you thank you!'

He's satisfied with himself, having brought your mood up without the help of his brothers. He's proud of being the one responsible for your new state of giddiness. It's so vibrant, he finds that he'd rather see you like this than watch the stars in hyperspace. 'We can have it done by the time we go back to base and you see your supervisor.'

An embarrassing squeal leaves you, but you're too ecstatic to try to contain your excitement. You plant a kiss on his cheek, missing the way he blushes below his goggles. 'This is why you're my favourite.'

Yeah, and you're his.

[baekhvuns]

Ahhhh shit I almost forgot about TTWHY 🙉🙈🙊... but Seonghwa pissed me off a bit more in that one. Bodyguard was dumb too, but I also understand his reasoning (bad way of dealing with the situation but still) lmaooo I wanted to send you that video, our sweet clown, a comedian <3333 he's got the spirit

Ok so just like I thought then! What the fuck Y/N was supposed to die... NOT ON MY WATCH! 💀 jsudjeudidheiueb it's okay I'm gonna instert Dumbles in their scenes myself, but ngl halfway through I was like "waaaait where's the cat?!" I hope he returned with Y/N! Y/N and ice cream, well sounds about right 😆 shit you're right some of his background was mentioned, I still need to know more details like how did he get there, what's his life story, his family etc, so please hook us up for a heart to heart talk <3

Baekhvuns x ateezmakemeweep crossover when? Lol yes fuckboy Hwa better do a full 180 and starts worshipping Y/N instead of just teasing her

It's a bit sad cause I usually love their titles and this is what I wanted: rock inspired, hardcore and noisy concept, but it just didn't hit? Everyone's so hyped and saying how genius the song is, but I'm not feeling it 💔 I was anticipating this comeback so much (I still am, I'm just worried the song will disappoint me). It's slowly growing on me, but I don't think I'll ever be obsessed. Kpop parties helped me "get" Maniac, I also listened to it like 11 times in a row cause my phone glitched and I couldn't change the song cause I was on public transport squeezed between people 😭 still not my fave though so maybe Guerrilla will be the same. It's funny cause people on twitter are like "you don't like Guerrilla? What did you expect them to lead a rebellion with Turbulence or Wave type of songs" and I'm like "I actually wanted them to go harder" (just remembered I hypnotised myself into like Don't Call Me too 😅)

Bestie Christmas Evel was my Christmas song I actually really like it 😭 FELIZ NAVIDAD FELIZ NAVIDAD I CAN FEEL THE EVIL COMING BUT FELIX NEVER BAD?! - so dumb I LOVE IT. I don't know what you heard, but I personally really like everything on Oddinary especially Charmer I even liked their slower song which is kinda shocking, from Noeasy (except Thunderous) my faves are Cheese, Ssick, Red Lights, Silent Cry, Star Lost. Some of my fave songs in general are Miroh, Side Effects, Victory Song, Voices, Spread My Wings, TOP, TA, Easy, Any, Levanter, Insomnia, Rock, Awaken, Hello Stranger. Alsooooo I loved Xdinary Heroes cb, the title isn't that amazing, but the bsides?! Aaaaaaand this boy continues to be a problem he's so cool and talented and pretty, but also a big loser and a baby so naturally I love him 🙄🥴

Yes I saw that Soo Hyuk show, but I need more, not just a web drama 😭

Yeah that "friend" of mine is so weird wtf, I was looking through qrts on some tweets and they were there?! How can I escape lmao maybe I should block them. But I like torturing myself so I went ahead and read a bit more and...wheew bestie, someone needs to go outside and leave twitter for a moment

Bandana Hwa so true 😍. Oh, he is looooooking

In the new photo Seonghwa looks like a rockhopper penguin kshsjdgakdhiddbsj (I know they went for 80s goth punk look, but that was my first impression) what are those fits 🤔 I like Seonghwa's jacket tho also Matz in riding boots, is San's back exposed?! Why are some of them wearing crazy clothes and others just... boring biker gang stuff, their stylists are all over the place 🙈

I got bastard (good) on the quiz lmaooo

Expensive man huhu, also BOOOOBS 👁👄👁 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Ahhhh shit I almost forgot about TTWHY 🙉🙈🙊... but Seonghwa pissed me off a bit more in that one. Bodyguard was dumb too, but I also understand his reasoning (bad way of dealing with the situation but still) lmaooo I wanted to send you that video, our sweet clown, a comedian <3333 he's got the spirit

IM SO VERY SURPRISED OVER TTWHY???? so very surprised with ppl liking this one better then other fics 😵‍💫😵‍💫 love making my seonghwa’s be there root of trouble <3 😳😳 JFBWKDB HE’D LOSE A FIGHT SO QUICK 😭😭😭

Ok so just like I thought then! What the fuck Y/N was supposed to die... NOT ON MY WATCH! 💀 jsudjeudidheiueb it's okay I'm gonna instert Dumbles in their scenes myself, but ngl halfway through I was like "waaaait where's the cat?!" I hope he returned with Y/N! Y/N and ice cream, well sounds about right 😆 shit you're right some of his background was mentioned, I still need to know more details like how did he get there, what's his life story, his family etc, so please hook us up for a heart to heart talk <3

JFBWKDBK YES SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE 😭😭😭 wrong person wrong time,,, seonghwa would’ve been absolutely devastated <3 can guarantee if that ever happened he would never not marry anyone and keep that ring on <3 omg absolutely i will quickly ask him for his schedule for this weekend so he can come and have a one on one with you! LMFAOOOO

Baekhvuns x ateezmakemeweep crossover when? Lol yes fuckboy Hwa better do a full 180 and starts worshipping Y/N instead of just teasing her

id PASS AWAY if that EVER happened 😭😭 absolutely he mf better bc what if like someone else tries to hit her up,,, 🔫🔫

It's a bit sad cause I usually love their titles and this is what I wanted: rock inspired, hardcore and noisy concept, but it just didn't hit? Everyone's so hyped and saying how genius the song is, but I'm not feeling it 💔 I was anticipating this comeback so much (I still am, I'm just worried the song will disappoint me). It's slowly growing on me, but I don't think I'll ever be obsessed. Kpop parties helped me "get" Maniac, I also listened to it like 11 times in a row cause my phone glitched and I couldn't change the song cause I was on public transport squeezed between people 😭 still not my fave though so maybe Guerrilla will be the same. It's funny cause people on twitter are like "you don't like Guerrilla? What did you expect them to lead a rebellion with Turbulence or Wave type of songs" and I'm like "I actually wanted them to go harder" (just remembered I hypnotised myself into like Don't Call Me too 😅)

maybe when you hear the song fully your mind might change! you ofc don’t have to be obsessed with the title track there’s more tracks you might end up liking! LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 I STILL CANT GET INTO MANIAC EXCEPT WHEN THEY KEEP SAYING MANIAC DBDB JFBWKDJWK tbh atp kpoppies just force ppl into liking music and omg i saw this twt the other day and ???????

isn’t the whole point of them having to grow as artists shown from criticism as well?? this tweet sounds tone deaf ???? isn’t music put out for ppl’s opinions on it 😭😭😭

STOP I LOVED DONT CALL ME THAT BASS KILLED ME IT WAS LIKE OBSESSIONS BASS

Bestie Christmas Evel was my Christmas song I actually really like it 😭 FELIZ NAVIDAD FELIZ NAVIDAD I CAN FEEL THE EVIL COMING BUT FELIX NEVER BAD?! - so dumb I LOVE IT. I don't know what you heard, but I personally really like everything on Oddinary especially Charmer I even liked their slower song which is kinda shocking, from Noeasy (except Thunderous) my faves are Cheese, Ssick, Red Lights, Silent Cry, Star Lost. Some of my fave songs in general are Miroh, Side Effects, Victory Song, Voices, Spread My Wings, TOP, TA, Easy, Any, Levanter, Insomnia, Rock, Awaken, Hello Stranger. Alsooooo I loved Xdinary Heroes cb, the title isn't that amazing, but the bsides?! Aaaaaaand this boy continues to be a problem he's so cool and talented and pretty, but also a big loser and a baby so naturally I love him 🙄🥴

JFBWKD I FIRST THOUGHT THAT SONG WAS LIKE A FANMADE THING UNTIL I WAS LIKE ���fuck??? that’s actually a song…???” SO DUMB DBDBDH YES BUT ITS SO CONTAGIOUS omg yes i listened to charmer and i love that song better than the title track 😭😭😭 my favourite has to be hellavator one of the best jyp debut tracks! ill def listen to them all!!! NO BC WHY ARE JYP SIDE TRACKS WAY BETTER THAN THE TITLE TRACKS 😭😭😭

HIS HAIR?????? JOOYEON NEW BAIS ALERT DBDB

Yes I saw that Soo Hyuk show, but I need more, not just a web drama 😭

what’s your thoughts on your favourite ceo kim meeting lee soo hyuk <3

Yeah that "friend" of mine is so weird wtf, I was looking through qrts on some tweets and they were there?! How can I escape lmao maybe I should block them. But I like torturing myself so I went ahead and read a bit more and...wheew bestie, someone needs to go outside and leave twitter for a moment

LMFAOOOO DBDBDB going through their tweets would be like looking through the morning newspaper 🤩🤩 nO BC IT DO SOUNDS LIKE THEY NEED TO GO TOUCH SOME GRASS 😭😭😭

Bandana Hwa so true 😍. Oh, he is looooooking

😭😭😭🤚🏼 HES SO CUTE pls stop me bc this series is burning in my wip and iwill take it out if this continues to happen 😭😭

In the new photo Seonghwa looks like a rockhopper penguin kshsjdgakdhiddbsj (I know they went for 80s goth punk look, but that was my first impression) what are those fits 🤔 I like Seonghwa's jacket tho also Matz in riding boots, is San's back exposed?! Why are some of them wearing crazy clothes and others just... boring biker gang stuff, their stylists are all over the place 🙈

NO BC HE FR DO FBWNVDKS their necklaces are the same as the hala hala ones and that blew me away 😳🤚🏼 IS HIS BACK EXPOSED ????? about to pass out,,, yes the 80’s goth punk,,, can’t wait for how their outfits on music shows look like!!! scared for the ending fairy hwa 😭😭😭 will start screaming

I got bastard (good) on the quiz lmaooo Expensive man huhu, also BOOOOBS 👁👄👁 - DV 💖

i got very complex fbenfbdn

THEY NEED TO CLOSE THE GYMS EVERYTIME I SEE THEM I AUTOMATICALLY GO THIS

quizie

also!!

yeah this guy’s never done anything bad

[elysianslove]

I wanted to ask to make sure I didn't make you uncomfortable! This turned out really long and all over the place 😭. You obv don't have to read it, since I just needed someone to talk to, bc I am very bad at expressing my feelings :'.

SoI took an important exam a few ago, and I heard some ppl got there results, so I went to go check if I got mine, and I did! But they were disappointing and not what I was expecting, bc the exam felt pretty easy. And so I was quite sad :(. And then I told my sister and she also got her results. But what made em really upset was that she got a higher mark compared to mine. And it's not that I was jealous or smn no i was very happy for her and im so proud of her! But when you keep getting lower than someone no matter how much you try, and how hard you work it makes you really upset. Especially if they didn't put in nearly as much as half the work you did.

I was just really disappointed in myself and it kinda made me question what I was doing wrong. Bc no matter how much work I put in, I still wasn't able to get close to the amount she did, even though I worked hard. It kinda made me think back about what i could've changed. And I feel like I am the problem. That I'm just dumber, or slower, or stupider. It really sucks to be thinking like that, but when it's not the first, or second, or third time it's happped, it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me.

And I only have one chance left for this exam which doesn't help :/. I also opened the results at the wrong time. Bc after I opened them i started crying (and I still am). An I opened them right before my final 😭 don't do that. Don't ever do that 😭

Self-deprecation isn't nice but sometimes you can't help but think that you're the problem when no matter what you do, or try to change,, you feel stuck and nothing changes. *sigh* I couldn't even sleep this morning or last nigh,, today is just not it

Thabk you for letting me rant! I seriously needed that!

hey lovely! i’m sorry i only just saw this but :( i’m so sorry that you’ve been led to think of yourself that way :( (had to put a read more cause this got long haha) 

 i promise that although something like one exam seems detrimental and catastrophic right now, but trust me, in the long run, it’s big results and achievements that matter. not to say that little successes shouldn’t be celebrated, because they absolutely should, but failures should never, ever put you down. i sound hypocritical because god knows i beat myself up for days when a bad exam happens, but honestly, i try to remind myself, it’s already happened. i did my best, and i did all i could, and this is the result. it’s not the best, it’s not me, but it happened, and i can’t change it. all i can do is aim for better on the next exam. 

i know it seems like all your chances have vanished, but i promise they haven’t. newer and maybe even better chances will arrive. and you’ll do amazing. 

take your study habits, and look through them. could there be something you’re doing that might not be 100% efficient? maybe you’re not studying in a way that best helps you. like for example, a lot of people are visual learners, so they require notes, watching videos, seeing things demonstrated, for them to fully understand. while some are auditory learners. there are so many different types to it. maybe try figuring that out first! it might help enhance studying. 

also i trust that you are proud of your sister, but comparing yourself to her will only make you feel worse. compare yourself to yourself. take a time where you’ve done really well, and analyze why. did your study methods differ, did you just understand the material more, did you get enough sleep the night before, etc. 

and i promise you, one bad day does not determine whether you’re meant to be happy or not. i’m really sorry it was bad for you, but i hope and pray that tomorrow’s better, or the day after, or the day after and then all the days after that. you’re going to be okay, i promise. everything will be fine, and you’re perfect the way you are, with your grades and everything. so long as you continue to do your absolute best, everything will soon fix itself, and you’ll be where you’re meant to be.

just trust in yourself, and in your capabilities. you’ll end up where you’re meant to end up, and hopefully that’s somewhere you want, and somewhere you deserve. i love you loads! and you can come to me at any time you need! mwah <3

[gamegrumpiess]

Don't Forget About Me PART ONE?

Its been a fucken minute. I've been working a lot really. Trying to get my place together since I moved and what not. I have free time again! So here you go. Also! If you want me to continue this, let me know!

Dan x Reader

Warnings? Might be a bit sad, but nothing worth crying over.

You can request some shit!

(y/m/n) - your mom's name

(y/l/n) - your last name

(h/t)- home town

~~~~~~~

~1992~

Young Danny's POV

"Dan! Dinners ready!" My mom yells from downstairs. "I'll be right there!" I pause my game and make my way down. It's been freezing in my room lately, New Jersey winter really taking a toll on our house. The heater isn't installed yet, though I wish it was. I only have so many blankets.

"Dana, Leigh, there's new neighbors across the street. They've been here for about a week, I met the woman and her fiance last night, but her kids weren't home. I think it'd be a good idea to welcome them all. After dinner we'll all go down together. Is that a good idea?" My mom and dad have always been really nice like that. I feel wave of anxiety rush over me, it's not that I don't want to meet them, I just feel weird going to their house just to introduce ourselves. Dana nods her head and goes back to eating her soup, so content with her life. I'm not looking forward to this...

After we all finish eating, my mother tells us to get ready and look decent for the neighbors. What would 'decent' be? A regular shirt with jeans? I'll be in my jacket so I guess it really doesn't matter. After I get myself together, I walk downstairs to see Mom and Dad waiting for me and Dana. "Alright, let's go guys!" Dana comes out of her room dressed and ready as well. "I'm ready!" She yells with her childish voice. At least she's excited, because I'm not.

*ding ding dong ding*

A woman opens the door with a smile. "Oh, hello Debbie! What brings you here?" My mom smiles back at the woman, "I thought we could all come welcome you to the neighborhood!" The woman looks shocked a bit before she opens the door wide and invited us all in. "So this is my husband, call him Avi, my daughter Dana, and my son Leigh. He likes to be called Daniel, though." The woman smiles and shakes my dad's hand and mine. Dana has gotten a little bit shy, so the woman kneels down to her height. "Hi Dana, I'm (y/m/n). I work with kids your age all the time! You know, we have a pet turtle, his name is Cheesy. Would you like to meet him?" Dana's eyes light up at what (y/m/n) said. She nods her head frantically as the woman points to a glass talk with rocks and a little bit of water. "He's right there. Go ahead and talk to him!" As Dana runs to look at, what I assume is Cheesy, the woman turns back to us. "My fiance is at work right now. But my daughter and son are here. Y/N!" (Y/m/n) yells upstairs. "I'm coming!!" A little voice yells back. A girl came downstairs into view. She looks my age, but I haven't seen her at school, is she new? "This is my daughter, y/n. My younger son, Jacob is taking a nap in his room. Shes been working on her room all day." My mom smiles at y/n, "hey y/n! How old are you? Do you go to school here yet?" Y/n looks down, clearly a little shy. "I'm 12 years old... I don't go to school yet here, I'm new, I kind of don't want to." She states truthfully. She's only a year younger than me, but she seems very mature for a 12 year old. Then again, I'm kind of mature for a 13 year old.

As time goes on, y/n and her mom start breaking out of their she'll a little bit. Ms (y/l/n) says they just moved here from (h/t), she left her husband a while back and met a man who lived here. So I guess the man who lives here now isn't y/n's and Jacob's actual dad. Something about that is really sad to me, I have both of my parents. I can't really imagine what it's like to only have one in your life. "Is y/n going to go to the same school as Leigh?" I knew that question would come up. And turns out, yes she will. I'm not really complaining. At least she'll have one person she knows. I'm not entirely popular at all, but at least she won't be alone. Y/n looks at me and smiles. She really does have a sweet smile.

~later that night~

"Debbie, she's out there again! Poor kid, I hope she's okay." My dad calls out to my mom. "She's out there almost every night. Do you think she's okay?" I get curious and look at the time. 10:18 pm. Who would be out this late? Sure, it's a Saturday, but it's so cold outside this time. It's probably going to snow soon. I walk out to my mom and dad to see what's going on. "Who's outside?" Mom points out the window and I look out to see a figure sitting in the empty driveway across the street. "Almost every night, y/n just sits on the cold driveway. Her mom works graveyard shifts a lot. I wouldn't doubt it if she's home alone, poor thing." My mom puts her hand over her heart and looks down, her motherly instincts kicking in. "Leigh, could you please go out there and see if she's okay? She's always out there for hours at a time." I comply to what my mom says, mostly because I don't want to disappoint her by saying no. Also, I'm a little curious as well as to why she's out in the cold so late.

Y/n POV

Space is so cool. I've loved the stars and planets since I was a baby. On the nights when my mom is working, Jacob stays with my stepdad at his place. He's only 5, I get it. At this point I'm used to being alone. It's not a bad thing. I like it. When I was younger my dad would always leave me by myself so he could work. I was old enough to take care of myself though, little 7 year old me. I would do this back then as well. Sit outside and look at the sky. Even on days when the sky would be covered by clouds, I'd still stare In wonder above.

I hear a door close across the street and a skinny boy huddled up in jackets walk out of it. I hope he's not coming here, I'm not good with boys one on one. They make me feel awkward. Plus, he's a good looking boy. That makes it way worse. "Y/n, right?" He's standing right above me. I smile slightly, "Yeah, that's right. Aren't you cold?" He's very skinny, probably doesn't have body heat of his own like me. Im on the thicker side of the wall when it comes to looks. I'll probably always will be, but that okay. "Yes I'm freezing. But I saw you out here and I thought I should ask if you're okay."

I look up at him, "I'm okay. I just like looking at the stars. I'd rather be out here looking at the sky than in a quiet house." I tell him truthfully. "Are you home alone?" I nod and smile. "Yea, my mom works at the children's hospital and my little brother is with my stepdad at his house. I dont go because my stepsisters don't really like me. Which is fine, I don't really like them either." He sits down by me, criss crossed and hands in his pockets. "Are you okay on your own, though? My mom is worried too." His mom? Why would she be worried about me? I guess I am out here a lot. "Tell your mom im fine, and thank you for worrying. I appreciate that." He looks back to his house and then to me again. "Do you want me to sit here with you for a bit?" I smile again, "Sure. Just don't get frostbite in my driveway." He laughs and I join in as well.

~1997~

Y/n POV

I've known Dan for almost 6 years now. Since that night he'd be sitting on my driveway with me any chance we could. He's grown up a lot, but so have I. I'm proud of him, really. He just graduated high school, the only thing is, he's leaving for college. I still have 12th grade left. It sucks, my best friend is leaving. In the 6 years I've known him, I've grown to have a massive crush on him. He's gotten a lot taller, his hair has grown more, he's just this tall silly nerd. I'm not one for cliche cheesiness... But I really do love him. The times hes had girlfriends, it's been pretty painful. There's been more than a few nights when I'm on the driveway alone, or I'd have to eat lunch with Joe and Dylan alone because he'd be out with his girlfriend at that time. I'd be in pain, but I would never let it get to me. If he's had other girlfriends, it's clear he doesn't like me like that. And that's fine, I'm okay with just being his friend. As long as he's in my life at all I'm okay.

But he's leaving.

Dan's POV

My last night here in New Jersey is tonight. The flight for Boston leaves tomorrow morning, early as hell too. I'd have to go to bed soon if I really want to catch it. My room looks so empty... All my memories of growing up are in this exact house. I went to go see Ms (y/l/n) earlier today and say goodbye before she went to work, even said bye to Jacob. Y/n wasn't there, (y/m/n) said she was at band practice. I told her not to worry, I'll probably see y/n tonight since I usually sit with her in her driveway at night. Luckily, it's not cold anymore. Summer weather keeping me cool enough to not wear shorts, though. I walk out and see y/n sitting where she usually sits. Except now with a cat in he shirt to keep the cat warm in the cool weather. She looks up at me and waves, and I can't help but smile a little and wave back before starting to walk over.

If I had a choice, I'd take her with me. She's my best friend, I don't want to leave her alone. Joe and Dylan are leaving as well, she'll be alone at school and she'd have no one to sit with at night in her driveway. 6 years spent with her, and I wouldn't want to change it for the world. She's a really good friend.

"Hey.." she says, careful not to wake the cat in her lap. "Hey, I'm leaving tomorrow morning.. I wanted to come say bye to the cat." I say jokingly. She rolls her eyes and nudges my leg as I sit beside her. "Shut up, Dan. I can't believe it, you're going to college." I can't help but agree. I shake out my hair a little bit. "Yup. I really want to be a musician, but my dad said hed pay for my college if I go into advertising. I really don't want to, but I cant pay for myself on my own." She pets the cat again and shrugs. "Soon enough, you will be a musician. You'll have thousands of fans, be on stage rocking out like you've always wanted. You'll have people recognize you in the street wanting a picture and an autograph. You'll be so successful, as long as you put your passion in it." I can't help but smile at her. That is my dream, always has been. "It's gonna be weird without you guys. Senior year... I have one more year before I leave too," she looks at the sky again. "It's kinda scary. I won't be a kid anymore. Growing up in general is scary." I grab her shoulder and look in her eyes. "Hey don't talk like that. You're gonna be a great voice actress like you've always wanted to be. You might even become a singer too. You have to put passion in it too. You'll be in all your favorite anime shows, and video games. You can do it too. Don't forget that." She looks down and nods. "I will. Hey promise me something though." I look at her and encourage her to go on. "Don't forget about me. I know you're gonna grow up and find all the success in the world, just don't forget about this time in your life. Our friendship, who you are. Don't forget, please." I give her a sad smile and lean in to hug her. "I could never forget about you. You're one of my best friends. Don't worry. I'll keep in touch as much as possible, I promise." She smiles and hugs back. I start to walk back to the house when I hear her call my name again, "Dan!......." I turn back to her and she looks down before looking back up to me. "Be safe out there." She stares at me and I nod. "You too, y/n.."

To be continued?~

[fiendfremd]

Okay I'm going to post my thoughts on this last year, upcoming year and upcoming 10th year anniversary of making games behind the cut. I want to be as honest as possible so it might be kinda sad down there. You have been warned.

2022 was a weird year for me. I started off strong and things just slowly got worse over time.

I was invited to the Tiny Games Bundle and had a blast making Tomorrow for Mar for that. I'm ultimately sad about what happened to the bundle bc I still think it's a fantastic idea, it just wasn't in the cards.

Next was nano and starting work on Butterblue. At the time this felt like a mistake, I was coming straight off the back of finishing Tomorrow for Mar and I was exhausted and I knew I couldn't finish it in time and was aiming for a demo.

In hindsight, this was one of the best things I could have done. Honestly, I just really really want to make farming sims crossed with VNs and I knew if I pushed that off any longer I'd be dying. So even though I only finished a demo and the response was pretty lukewarm, I'm glad I finally started on the projects I've been wanting to make for so long.

After nano I had a month off which was good because I then jumped into Otomejam with a team!

Aaannddd this is why this is behind a read more on my secret personal blog lol.

The jam ended with me having a mental breakdown as I sat crying on my garage floor sobbing unable to move as my neighbors were drunk karaoke-ing Country Roads.

I did not have a good time with this jam. It started fine but then took a bad turn for the worse at the tail end of development. I was told "its okay to ask for help!" And then when I asked for help I was ripped into. The whole process was extremely mercenary-esque and that just... isn't really what I was looking for.

I'm in a lot of pain and whatever it is I'm looking for with my creative passions, I'm not getting it from working in groups in gamejams.

I like making games. I like making bad games. I like expressing myself.

I'm not able to make games on a professional level. I am not a professional gamedev, despite the fact that I work on them like 3 hours a day.

This has continuously clashed with a lot of the gamedev spheres I've been in. So many people have approached me and its later come out that they saw me as a "charity case". That if I "just marketed myself more, polished off all these edges and be normal for one day" I would be a Viral Hit.

Uh. I can't be "normal" for one day. The stuff that makes my work so unique is also what fucks it up from finding any sort of mainstream success. And sometimes I'm okay with that. But a lot of times I'm sad not bc im sad about not being "successful" but because so many people see me as that "Charity Case".

If I ever work with a group again for a gamejam I will be ultra clear that at the end of it we will have: 1 finished game, 3 comments, and maybe 20 notes across the social media landscape. That's it. That's what is going to be made. And expecting more than that will make you disappointed and I sure hope you don't end up blaming me!! 💦💦💦

After otomejam I just. Imploded. I worked on butterblue but at a much slower pace. It was good to work on something just to keep my mind off of everything.

It's been hard this year. Coming into 2022 I thought I had a great lineup for the year, and I was able to finish all my projects (with butterblue pending) but it was extremely painful getting there.

Not only was "online gamedev activities" painful this year but "offline gamedev activities" was the worst yet.

I tried to restart my local gamedev club and during one of the meetings there was this guy just GLARING at me the whole time. I had to physically bring the textbooks I was cited in to get any sort of foothold in the room. These meetups aren't for creatives finding like minded creatives. It's for entrepreneurial tech bros to have dick measuring contests.

I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. People show you who they are. My biggest flaw is that I don't believe people when they show me who they are. I think "they can't possibly be that bad...." or "well I did say something stupid, that's why they yelled at me". I keep choosing to go to these same gamedev groups and finding the same people who are the same type of dismissive toward me and I keep surprised pikachu meme-ing. At this point, I've been through 4 different state wide gamedev groups that share roughly the same handful of people.

There's no place for me in the community that exists.

It's hard and I've been fighting it, thinking "well certainly one of these has to work". But it's been 10 years since I first started making games, and 6 years since I started attending local gamedev clubs in my area. I have searched high and low. Through valley and mountain. There is no place for me.

Maybe that's a death sentence. I certainly felt that way the last few years and was so desperate to make anything work. But I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm still here making games.

Maybe it's a death sentence. But it's not a quick death. It's a slow death, carried out over the years by progressive isolation.

But maybe that's also just life.

So as of now, I've stopped trying. I dropped out of all the gamedev clubs I've ever been in. (Save for one I'm waiting until after magfest to leave) Next year... idk. I don't know what my plans are, outside of finishing butterblue and working on a friend's game.

I want to chase things that bring me joy. If everything else is fucked beyond recognition, I at least want to have fun doing it.

I love making art and creative works. I love farming sims and I love strategy games. And there isn't a place for me at any of the "gamedev" tables but I'll make do anyway.

[t0shii]

hq boys when you're feeling anxious or stressed

suna rintaro, hinata shoyo, oikawa toru x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of anxiety, reader comparing themselves to others, mentions of food & hunger, driving. this is like all fluff no angst rlly tbh.

SUNA RINTARO.

he could tell something was up but conviced himself he shouldnt pry as he had already asked you twice if you were feeling alright, to which you reasurred him with a "yep" both times, it was suspicious but he thought maybe you just wanted to be left alone. meanwhile you weren't sure why you lied him, you obviously were not doing okay at the moment. currently he was driving you home and your anxiety was going absolutely crazy from the amount of school work that was piling up on you, it's unfair you thought to yourself, looking out the window. not only were you stressed from work but trying to keep up with your friend was hard, to say the least. they were phenomenal students, straight As in their transcript and though your grades were just fine, you couldn't help but feel inferior and insecure. it's unfair how effortlessly smart they are and how i'll never be able to catch up.... oh boy if your thoughts weren't running wild before they definitely were now, you hadn't even realized your boyfriend pulling into your driveway until he slightly tapped your shoulder. "are you sure you're alright? i don't wanna pressure you ofcourse but, you know you can tell me anything right?" ... and there were the water works! the little string holding you together had snapped just like that. you sat there in the passengers seat sobbing into your hands and suna rintaro hadn't a clue what to do in the moment.

"give me just a sec" you heard him mumble but not before he gave you a kiss as light as a feather on the top of your head. somehow you didn't notice him exit the car and rush to your side until he opened your door and hugged you so tight you honestly couldn't breathe. after a few seconds your boyfriend let go of the embrace which, to his dismay, only made you cry even harder. now, he knew he was known for being quite... stoic but he was definitely panicking on the inside and it was really difficult to remain calm on the outside. your boyfriend carefully reached over you to unbuckle the seatbelt that you had yet to unclasp. "lets go inside baby." his voice was so gentle it would've taken you by surprise had you not still been crying. you nodded in response and he helped you carefully out of the car, holding your hand all the way to the door, "d'ya have your key?" you nodded trying your best to unlock the door, after a few struggled and shakey attempts you finally had your door unlocked but not without rins help because he couldn't bare to watch you struggle any longer.

stepping inside rin helped you take your shoes off, removing his own after, "bedroom?" having calmed down a little you whispered "yes," with a small nod. he nodded with you in response and took you to your bedroom. after helping you change into comfy clothes he helped you into bed, crawling in right behind you. your back was snug against his chest and he held you super tightly, it was silent for a few minutes until finally he spoke up, "please tell me how i can help" you could feel your lip quiver. "well... you don't have to say anything right now, you know i can wait. i'll even leave if you want, i just wanted you to know that you can tell me whenever you're ready and that i'll listen." neither of you were sure when you'd be ready to admit what had gotten you so upset but you felt comfortable knowing suna rintaro would be there whenever you were ready, whether it be minutes from now or even months.

HINATA SHOYO.

your silence on the walk home was starting to concern him.. maybe im just talking too much... he thought, "hey... im sorry if im talking your ear off.. how was your day angel?" to say he was disappointed with your response would be an understatement. not thar you HAD to talk but usually you were talkative with him and the worry in his tummy was only growing more. a simple, "oh.. my day was alright sho," simply woundn't cut it! "hey, are you feeling okay?" it was silent for a few seconds before you answered a mumbled "i think so, are you feeling alright, sho?" he simply nodded with a "mhm" and you told him to continue on with his story from earlier.

he complied but only to fill the silence. hinata decided to trust you when you said you were okay because you know your own feelings and he knows for a fact he's made it clear before that you could and should let him know if something was bothering you. though you enjoyed listening to hinata's stories you only found yourself getting lost in your own mind whilst he rambled on.you could tell he was suspicious of your behavior but was grateful he had left his curiosity behind because you were sure you would snap if he had asked you if you were okay again, you really didn't want to cry in front of him. truth is, your thoughts were running wild, stressing over the smallest things; assignments due at the end of the week, what you were gonna get your boyfriend for your anniversary, how you were gonna make time for your friends surprise birthday party and helping sho with his studied all the while trying to take care of your own self and keep your own grades afloat. "y/n..? we're at your house.. are you sure your alright? you look a little pale, are you ill?" crap! how had you not noticed you were approaching your own driveway you wanted to slap yourself for being so clueless. you couldn't help but feel horrible for not listening to your boyfriends story also.

"yes sho i'm fine really, i just didn't have time to eat lunch today but i have food inside so don't worry m'may?" he looked at you suspiciously and you knew he was onto you, "y'know y/n, i'm not gonna force you to tell me what's going on but just know i'll always be here for you, okay?" he gave you a small smile before engulfing you into a tight hug, it honestly melted your heart. surprisingly, you didn't start crying on the spot. "y'know, i wanted to trust you when you said you were okay but now i'm not so sure if you were telling the truth," he mumbled into your shoulder. you sighed, giving up the facade. "sho.... i just don't know what to do honestly, i have alot on my plate right now and i'm really stressed with all the responsibilities ive piled onto myself," you admitted. he nodded lifting his head from your shoulder, giving you the brightest smile, "well, i can always help out! i might not be the mooost helpful person ever but i'll try my best, and if anything i'm good moral support!" you giggled at that but suddenly you felt your lip quiver from the sudden guilt you feeling, "i'm sorry for lying to you sho-", "hey! its alright! you dont need to apologize. especially dont need you crying on me now!" he smiled cupping your face in his hands, wiping away a few stray tears of whom managed to escape.

OIKAWA TORU.

you smile back at him and thought of how silly it was that you tried keeping your feelings a secret from your boyfriend of two years, hinata shoyo, feeling glad that you confided in him. he knew you were upset as soon as he saw you that very morning, he could read you like and open book and you knew that fact very well. still though, you tried your best to hide yourself from him, though it was hard considering you sitting right next to him in the passenger seat of his car. finally after a whole day of being worried sick, he was tired of leaving things left unsaid "babyyyy," he sang for you from the kitchen, "please come here a sec!" he yelled for you louder. soon you came trudging down the hallway, blanket wrapped around your body, he couldn't help but smile at how adorable his s/o looked.

"c'mere quickly," he said will a grin, opening his arms for a hug, which you gladly accept, wrapping your arms around his waist tightly. "now, i know you know that i know that you're not feeling well, so please tell me what's got my angel so upset?" he said softly rubbing his hand lightly over your back, his voice a little muffled from his cheek being squished against the top of your head. you let out a breath you hadn't even realized you were holding, "'m sorry tooru, i don't know what's wrong with me today.... just not feeling well." you felt him nod against your head in response, "well good thing your amazing boyfriend is here to make you feel all better huh?" you let a out small giggle at that. "you know you can tell me when you're feeling down right? you shouldn't keep things bottled up inside", "i know tooru... im sorry, i just dont really know wbat i'm feeling so down about though," you admitted shyly. "hey that's okay! there absolutely no need to apologize for that, here, look at me, angel," he tilts your face so you're looking up at him, his big soft hands holding your face, thumbs stroking your cheeks lightly, "i'm here whenever you figure it out, hell, even if you dont figure it out or there just isn't any reason at all. you know i'm always, always, always here. i promise you that, m'kay?" he finishes his little speech with a smile, smothering your face in kisses. you could only feel relieved, thankful and loved. because you knew that you would always have your soulmate, oikawa toru by your side.

( a/n ; ahh so im sorry if this has any spelling or grammatical errors it's sort of late as i'm writing this! and im too lazy to proof read.... also it might just all be word vomit and if it is im so sorry 😩 ++ i'm positive ive kept the reader gn throughout the whole thing but if there are slip-ups i promise i'll do better next time! i rlly wanted to write some hq boys when ur feeling anxious and beyond stressed because i have been MEGA struggling with my own anxiety lately, especially bc of school so i just needed to let my feelings go! anywhooo i hope everyone who reads this has an amazing day or night! ) p.s. im new to writing so be nice 2 me or whatever 😩🙄😌👍🏻