#this isn’t negative towards forever either by the way

[the-crimson]

Somethings been bugging me about Bad’s stream yesterday and I just realized what it is

When Bad was griefing the presidential office, the federation/cucurucho weren’t the ones that stopped him but the server admins

Bad built a machine that could destroy the presidential office and instead of cucurucho confronting him, the admins just made it disappear. Then when Bad started lava casting the offices, the admins stole his lava.

Idk if it was just me but that felt very underwhelming and inconsequential. Why did Forever get drugged when he built a world eater but cucurucho didn’t even show face when Bad built a machine that could demolish the presidential office?

Bad’s cold and calculated rampage felt like it had no weight because the admins just hand waved everything he did. If the federation had the power to disappear/steal any illegal machine they wanted then the whole thing with Foolish hiding Tubbo’s machine wouldn’t have happened. So many story beats in the past wouldn’t have happened.

It didn’t feel like the federation retaliating against Bad for trying to grief the presidential office, it felt like the admins telling cc!bad to stop which is… :(

This isn’t to nag on the admins or anything they’ve done spectacularly I just… I always feel like Bad gets the short end of the stick and as a bbh main, seeing the effort the admins went in for Forever then seeing what they did to Bad leaves a very bad taste in my mouth :/

[bookshelf-dust]

love and mandrakes

sirius black x gn!reader

word count: 5,220

warnings: swearing, fluff, i think that's literally it, but let me know if it's not

a/n: hi! so this is new!!! a new character!! sirius black is the loml, and i've been working on this for what feels like forever. i'm really proud of it, and i hope that maybe some of you will like it. it's been very fun to explore a new universe and the marauders as a whole. i hope you enjoy this!! love you 3000 <333

————

The greenhouse windows are frosty this morning, and you can feel the chill seeping in through the thin glass panes. You fight the urge to lift your finger, using the tip to draw a face in the condensation gathering on the one nearest you. 

You’re stood at the back of the greenhouse, like always. You’ve never liked to be very close to Professor Sprout–certainly not because of any disdain towards the woman–but for the fear that she’d have something negative to say about your work. This is despite the fact that she’s been nothing but kind to you regarding every plant that’s ever been in your care.

Really it’s just that you’d beat yourself up if you killed a plant that makes you so determined to do well.

You’re twenty minutes early for class today. Early enough that it’s just you and Professor Sprout in the greenhouse. Everyone else likes to stumble in within the five minutes before class begins.

But clearly, that’s not quite the case this morning. The greenhouse doors open, both rather than just one, and Professor Sprout turns to greet whoever it is.

“Good morning, Mr. Black.”

You look up. Sirius Black is never early to class. If anything, he’s usually either not there at all, or the absolute last one to find his way in, perhaps a half hour late, if not more. He sidles up to Remus Lupin, and suddenly they've got a lovely little group project on their hands.

“Remus won’t be in today, Professor.” Sirius gives her a look that you assume is supposed to induce sympathy on her part. “Seems he’s got a cold.”

Pomona has never found it in herself to be frustrated with the boy, unlike the majority of her colleagues. She’s one of the few professors at the school to not harbor particularly malicious feelings towards the boy. He might be a troublemaker, but who isn’t at that age? 

She’s been briefed on what his home life is like, too, and who he has to put up with. And since she was a young girl, Pomona has been determined to give everyone a fair chance.

"Thank you for letting me know," she tells him.

You watch as Professor Sprout heads to a supply closet and begins to pull out heaps of gloves and what look to be earmuffs, messily tossing away the things she doesn’t need. You're lost in observing her, so consequently the voice sounding a few inches from your ear startles you.

"You always in this early?" Sirius has materialized next to you, the beginnings of a smirk playing at the edges of his mouth. 

You glance at his hand where it lingers over the stem of a plant you’re not sure he should dare to touch. He’s got a ring on every finger excepting his thumb.

“Usually,” you say. It occurs to you that these are some of the first words you've ever spoken to the boy, if you don’t count bare minimum exchanges in the odd class. “I like it back here.”

You like it back there because less people can look at you. Because having to sit somewhere else stresses you out, not to mention throws you off. You feel safe in your little corner. 

Sirius withdraws his hand from the questionable plant and raises his head. His eyes bore into yours. They’re the strangest shade of blue. It seems to shift in the light, and sometimes they look almost gray. He grins, and then begins to scan the area around the both of you.

“Suppose it is nice. Maybe I’ll stay back here with you. Wouldn’t want you to be lonely, you know.” 

You snort at that and he quirks a brow at your amusement. Sirius pushes his hair behind his ear and you realize he’s got a silver industrial piercing.

“That hurt too bad?” You ask, gesturing towards the jewelry and hoping he knows what you mean. He does.

His thumb skips over the metal ball at one end, coming back to fiddle with a section of his robes. He leans forward, grinning at you. His smile is wide. The corners of his mouth tick up mischievously, smile lines conveying layers of mischief you know he must have hidden in that mind of his. 

“Probably wouldn’t have as much if I’d gone to a shop.”

You gasp lightly, thinking about it getting infected and Sirius having a bloody mess on his hands.

“You did it yourself?” You ask, eyes wide and full of concern.

He laughs. It’s a gorgeous sound, deep and friendly. Warm.

“I was prohibited,” he says, pressing a scandalized hand to his chest. “Remus did it for me over break, while my brother played nurse.”

“Well it looks nice,” you tell him, palms beginning to sweat. You find his presence to be slightly overwhelming. “I mean I think so.”

“Thank you, sweets.” He bends slightly at the waist, hand over his stomach, and it’s a gesture you might take as being that of an asshole, if it weren’t for his voice being so kind.

You hum in place of a you’re welcome, trying to will away the swarm of butterflies in your tummy. They’re being rather aggressive. 

“And for the record,” he adds, “Remus was very strict with my cleaning regimen, so I did not get any infections if that’s what you’ve been contemplating.”

“That’s good.” You smile. You’re not sure it’s anywhere near as pretty as his.

Professor Sprout claps her hands, startling you. Today is really not your day. Sirius snorts at your jolt, but when you glance at him he’s pretending to be intensely focused on your instructor.

“Morning, everyone!” she begins. “Today, as you may have guessed, we will start our lessons on Mandrakes. This particular lesson will focus on basic knowledge, as well as care, but come next class, your actual project will begin.”

“You’re going to need a partner, so I’ll give you a few minutes now to choose, that way you can prepare with one another prior to the main exercise.”

All at once, everyone turns to this person and that, chattering and deliberating. It seems everyone has someone.

Your heart starts to pound, and you wonder if maybe Professor Sprout might let you work independently. Pairs are forming, and you can feel yourself being left out, pushed to the edges of society. Maybe that’s dramatic, but it’s how you feel. 

You lean against the table behind you, hoping that she won’t call you out for not having a partner. That is until there’s a figure in front of you.

“What’d you think, huh? Shall we work together?” Sirius stands so that you have no other choice but to look back at him. It’d come off rude to not maintain eye contact at this distance. 

You feel yourself burn and can’t help but wonder if this is some sort of cruel joke.

“Wouldn’t you rather wait and join Remus?” You ask, fingernails picking at the wooden underside of the table.

“You think I’m using you as a fill-in?”

You shrug, rubbing your nose. “We’ve quite literally never spoken an actual conversation before today. I just thought you’d want to work with your friend and not some stranger.”

“Well there’s a first for everything, isn’t there? And you’re not a stranger. I see you all the time.” 

You sigh. He grins, ever pleased with himself. 

“You don’t want to be friends with me?” He teases.

“I—”

“No, it’s quite alright. I’ll see if good ‘ol Mona will help me out.” He turns like he’s going to march away, though his feet barely move. He’s not going anywhere and you both know it. 

“Holy shit,” you start. “Just shut up. Go and get the gloves then.”

Sirius grins. “Demanding, aren’t we?”

He does go and get them though, returning with two sets of gloves and a pair of shears, as Professor Sprout had instructed.

“Today, we will focus on tending to your Mandrakes. I want you, in your pairs, to check the soil and water as needed. I also want you to trim the leaves, as these have been left to run amok for a while. To work!”

Chatter erupts around you, bouncing against the glass walls of the greenhouse.

You fetch a watering can while the area is still free, and Sirius fills it up for you. You notice that your Mandrake is severely lacking the soil it needs. It’s not very well off at all.

“Do you see this?” You ask him, gesturing towards where the roots are showing, clearly dehydrated and with nowhere to sprawl out and grow. “She’s got us treating the wounded.”

Sirius crosses his arms. “That’s a damn shame now, isn’t it? Guess we better heal this thing then.”

“Are you fucking with me?” You ask, eyes darting up to meet his.

“No, I swear. I can tell you’re into this. It’s not my best subject.”

“Well you know what they say.”

“What do they say?” His eyes are gleaming. That’s the best word you can think to use for it. 

“Teamwork makes the dream work.”

He rolls the very same eyes. “I’d like a new partner after that one.”

You laugh, and Sirius feels a pang in his chest. Like he’s taken a blade to the heart, and he can’t do anything but let it happen. Your laugh is such a sweet sound and he worries it might be the death of him.

You slip your gloves on and start trimming the leaves that have to go. There’s quite a few of them, but luckily they seem to be towards the bottom of the stem, and you think once you’re able to water it, the Mandrake might have a chance.

You finish with the shears, and set them down. You look up at Sirius, and your eyes catch a group of buttons on the shoulder of his robes. His hair had been covering them before. You find yourself feeling warm inside, as one in particular tickles your fancy.

“I like your pin,” you say.

His brows shoot up, “Which?”

You use your pinky and tap the glossy finish. He watches. “That one.”

“The Queen one?”

You nod, shoving some more soil into your pot to try and save the roots.

“You listen to them?” Sirius leans down so that his face is next to the Mandrake and in your line of sight. He’s got this brilliant grin. It’s worrying you. For a moment you think he might say something cruel, but the look in his eye is almost boyish.

“Yeah,” you say. “My mom is a muggle. Fell for a dorky wizard boy. So she’s raised me on loads of good stuff.”

“Lucky duck, you.”

You snort and then look up at him, though he's already been looking at you. His eyes haven't left you the whole time you've been working. He finds the way you treat the plant as if it has feelings to be charming. He wonders if you take care of everyone like that. Or maybe even yourself.

You move the soil pouch towards him. "You gonna help me?"

He slips his gloves back on. They really don't match anything he's wearing, and frankly it bothers him a bit. "Of course, of course."

He starts tending to the plant and you watch, noticing the bumps left in the gloves where his rings are hiding underneath.

"Feed her, Seymour," you say, and Sirius whips his head towards you.

"Who the fuck is Seymour?"

"Muggle film. Musical actually. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry for exposing your nerdiness. What's the film about? Talk to me," he proclaims, wincing at the state of his soil work.

“This guy, Seymour, finds a plant, and he tries to take care of it, you know, as you do, but he figures out it only wants blood and meat to eat and that’s what he feeds it, so it keeps growing and growing until it’s big enough that it starts eating people.”

Sirius looks at you with wonder in his eyes, and starts to laugh. "Are you fucking with me, love?"

You start to smile, one that you at first try to suppress, but it ends up spreading across your face, softening your features. Sirius thinks maybe it's the prettiest smile he's ever seen. He can't get over the way the lines around your mouth form, or the way your cheeks bunch and your eyes light up.

"No, I promise."

The boy tugs his gloves off, having finished salvaging the soil for your plant. "Killer plants, huh?"

"Indeed," you say. "You know Mandrakes are killer too, right?"

"Stop."

You start to water the plant, trying your best not to drown the damn thing. "What do you think the earmuffs are for, dumbass?"

You immediately regret calling him a dumbass, thinking you may have crossed a line--it's not like you know him all that well, you've only been speaking for this one class period--but he only smiles at you.

For some reason, you find him easy to be around. He doesn't scare you.

"It's cold."

"Because it's cold? No. After we save the plants we have to re-pot them, and when we take them out they're going to scream. Their cries are fatal, Sirius."

He stares at you. Remus did not tell him this. Technically he could've read his textbook, but clearly he didn't.

"That seems highly uncalled for."

You chuckle and he grins again.

"I agree,” you say. “Have you got the time?”

Sirius pushes his sleeve up, glancing at the watch tight around his left wrist. “We’ve got five minutes left.”

You look up, and notice Professor Sprout removing her gloves. If you’d waited to ask for just a moment longer, she would’ve begun her everyone-get-your-shit-together-and-get-out-of-here speech. 

“Students, your attention please!” Professor Sprout’s cheeks are rosy, tufts of curls sticking out from under the brim of her hat. 

“Next class we’ll try and get the Mandrakes repotted, so that they may grow to their full potential and can then be used as needed for Madam Pomphrey. You’ll need to come and water your plants periodically throughout the week, as these tend to drink rather quickly, so I suggest you alternate days with your companion.”

When you’ve finished and you’re outside once again, it’s misty, your skin dampening with each step you take. 

You feel a hand on your elbow, and Sirius has appeared next to you. Frankly, you hadn’t expected him to continue contact with you. 

The both of you had discussed what days you’d water you plant, and you assumed that was that. 

“I’ve realized we’re co-parenting a Mandrake,” he starts, “and I feel as though I should at least know a little something about the mother of my child.” You raise your eyebrows at him. “You know, to ensure that they don’t grow up lacking proper guardianship.”

“You’re ridiculous,” you say, hopping over a puddle. 

He tosses his head back, laughing, and you feel your insides go all warm and gooey at how his hair moves with the motion. You can’t help but wonder what it feels like. 

“First, you don’t want to be friends, and now, you want our child to be one of divorce.”

You stop, resting your forehead against the cool stone of one of the courtyard walls. 

“Sirius, we haven’t even been married.”

He presses his forehead against the stone next to you, and you turn to look at him. “I’m pretty sure there are a good bit of people who’ve been married and know less about each other than we do,” he says. 

You smile at the wall and he catches it. 

“Besides, we’ve got the same music taste, and that means I’ve got to keep you around.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, that’s how this works. Didn’t you know?”

You brush at the side of your robes where you’ve now gotten moss remains on them. “I was not aware, no.”

“Haven’t you got class or something?” You ask him. His cheeks are pink from the cold, a stark contrast from the chill of his eyes, the sharp black of his hair. 

“Not for another hour. You?” 

“Yeah, actually.”

“So tell me something quick.” He spins a ring around his finger, a chunky silver one with something set into the center. “What’s your favorite color?”

“Seriously?”

He smiles. It’s gorgeous and full-fledged. You can’t believe he’s looking at you like that. It feels like some big error. 

“Sorry I set myself up for that one,” you say. “Um, it’s green.”

“Lovely. Now what shade of green are we talking?”

“Sirius.” You pout. 

“Come on now, chop chop.” He snaps his fingers. “Thought you had an excuse to ditch me or something?”

You roll your eyes. It seems that cocky ass grin never leaves his face. “Like a forest green. Trees and such.”

Sirius claps his hands together, metal clinking. “That’s fantastic. I’ll be sure to remember it. Mine’s purple, by the way, thank you for asking.”

“I bet you look stunning in purple, Sirius.”

He blushes. He actually blushes. You grab for his wrist and push his sleeve up to peer at his watch. 

“I’ll see you around, okay?”

For the first time in a long time, Sirius Black hasn’t got shit to say. No one ever makes him blush. 

————

“I don’t come to class one day, and you’ve made a new friend? Why couldn’t you have made a new one any other day? I think I need some time off. Maybe even early retirement.” 

Sirius smacks Remus on the shoulder where the latter lays stretched out in bed. The curtains are drawn one one side so that the only person they’re visible to is James, who is half asleep in the neighboring bed, glasses askew and tie on the brink of choking him. 

“It’s rude to abuse the wounded.” 

“You’re off your rocker, Lupin.”

Remus rubs his face, though he winces, his arms much too sore for any sort of activity. “Tell me about it.” 

“Feeling any better today?” 

“Yes, Sirius. I’m feeling fucking wonderful.”

“He’s being sarcastic.” James’ voice is muffled by the pillow he’s collapsed into. 

Sirius turns to look at his friend. “Yeah, no shit, Prongs. Thank you so much for enlightening me.”

James raises a weak arm, flipping him off. “Eat me.”

“You say that as if I won’t do it.”

James sits up, but only enough so that he may rearrange himself into a poorly structured child’s pose. “Stop being such fucking tease and do it then, babe.”

Remus rubs his eyes aggressively, like it might somehow rid him of his ever permanent longing for sleep. “Shove it, you two.” He peeks out from between his fingers at Sirius. “I thought you were saying how you’ve made someone else miserable with the joys of your friendship.” 

“Fuck you,” Sirius says.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“I did make a new friend. In herbology, since you decided to have a go with the moon and left me to perish.” Remus rolls his eyes. “They’re very kind, if you must know. We are co-parenting a Mandrake.”

James snorts into the mattress. 

“Is it really co-parenting if you’ll make them do all of the work?” Remus asks. 

James snorts again and Sirius leans over to smack him against the back. He lets out a pathetic cry that both of the other boys ignore. 

“I’m helping, asshole,” Sirius begins. “I’m supposed to go water the fucking thing in a bit if either of you need proof of life.” 

“Of your friend or of your child?” Remus reaches his arm out to grab hold of one of the bedposts and heave himself up. 

“Both.”

James slides off of his bed and starts to stretch, and a cacophony of cracking sounds follows, which is slightly concerning considering his age. “Sorry. I’m supposed to go and see Lils. But I expect a full report back, Moons.” He strips off his tie and pulls on a coat. The other two boys watch him bound across the room like they’re at a tennis match.  

James is gone so quickly you’d be amazed that he was half-asleep minutes before. 

“What a prick,” Sirius says from where he sits at the foot of Remus’ bed. He looks away from the door and at his friend. 

Sirius sets his hand on Remus’ knee. “You get any sleep this morning?” 

“Some. Not enough. Though it’s never enough, or whatever.” Sirius gets a pang in his chest. He wishes he could make it all better. 

“You want to get some fresh air? You can come with me to the greenhouses if you want, but you can stay here too. I’ll sneak down to the kitchens and get you something.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll go with you. Sun’s not out, is it? It’ll kill my head.”

Sirius stands and peers beneath the drawn curtains. It’s cloudy, like it might storm, a thick layer of cloud lying over the grounds. “Nope. She’s hiding from you today.”

Remus nods and his friend walks back over to his bedside. “Come on, Rem.” 

He removes the blankets from over his lap and scoots to the edge of his mattress. Sirius holds out his hands for Remus to take. Sometimes he gets really woozy when he has to stand after nights like the last. His knees shake, but he’s steady once he’s up. Sirius keeps an arm around his back when there isn’t anyone in the halls to question Remus’ condition, but has to settle for watching his friends footing otherwise. 

Sirius gets Remus on a bench and makes a stop by Madam Pomphrey on the way, feigning a headache. She gives him a little bottle of these chewable tablets with instructions on how often to take them and tells him to come back if the ache persists. 

He hands the bottle to Remus when he’s finished, and the boy’s had the medicine for an entire four seconds before he’s chewing. It’s one of those headaches that stays dull, but any sudden movement and your entire skull is throbbing and he thinks he might just die. Remus thinks this every full moon. He is not dead. 

The trip to the greenhouse takes longer than usual, mainly because of Sirius’ tendency to baby Remus during his moon hangovers. He claims it’s because he doesn’t want a death on his hands, something about living up to the Black name, but Remus knows it’s really because Sirius is much more caring than he’d ever admit. 

“See? Look at this fucker. My child.” Sirius gestures dramatically at the potted plant. Remus leans up against one of the tables, only slightly amused, much more out of breath. 

He’s only just gone digging for a watering can when he hears the door open and glances up, assuming it’s another student having to monitor their own dirt ball. 

But it’s you. 

“What’s up, love?”

Remus’ eyebrows shoot up. He hadn’t realized when Sirius said he made a friend he actually meant friend. He’s never really seen Sirius look at someone that way. 

You stand by the doors, kicking the one you came through shut behind you. Sirius pretends like he’s not attracted to the movement. 

“Hi,” you say. You step a little further into the room. “I know it’s not my day to water, but frankly I was kind of worried you’d forget to do it.”

Remus turns to face you and laughs, full on. You grin at him. He’s never really looked at you before, but there’s no denying how sweet you look. He bets you could kick Sirius’ ass if you wanted. He also thinks Sirius might let you do it. 

Sirius straightens and flips his hair back as he does so. “You wound me.”

You shrug. “I was also slightly panicked you’d drown the thing, so there’s that.” 

Sirius walks over to the sinks, filling up his watering can, though you both know he could easily use a spell to do it instead. “So you came to supervise?”

“‘Fraid so.” You chew on the inside of your lip. 

“I don’t blame you,” Remus says. “He’s kind of a flake.”

“Fuck you, Rem.”

“Yeah, sure.” Remus pushes off of the table, moving in the direction of you and the doors. His head is starting to feel better. He leans in next to you, though his voice is anything but a whisper. “I don’t know why you’re putting up with him. Would’ve asked for a different partner myself.”

“She picked me!” You laugh, seeing Sirius put his hands on his hips out of the corner of your eye. 

Remus raises a brow at you. “Oh yeah?” He smiles at you. It’s a knowing expression, an understanding one. He keeps his eyes on you, but speaks to Sirius. “I’m gonna go for a walk, Pads. Come and retrieve me when you’re finished.” 

The squeeze Remus gives to your shoulder is kind. It tells you you’re safe with Sirius. With him. That you’re welcome. The glass door rattles as it shuts. 

“You really have no faith in me?” Sirius asks, spritzing the Mandrakes leaves. You peer into the pot, noticing he’s watered it just right. It’s not going to drown after all. 

“No, I’ve got plenty. Maybe I just wanted to see you again.” 

Sirius sets the bottle he’s holding down. “No shit.”

“Well you see, last time you asked me a question, and I didn’t get to ask you one of my own, and I figured I’d better do that if I want to keep the friendship alive, you know?”

Sirius is smiling at you. He can’t believe this–your teasing. 

He runs the pad of his thumb along your cheekbone. “So what’s the question?”

“Do you like pie?” you question.

“I do.”

“That’s good. Because I feel the same way, and rumor has it you can get into the kitchens, so I thought we could work together on this...and get pie. It’s like a reward. I put up with you and you put up with me kind of thing, so we get something to eat.”

Sirius tosses his head back, letting out a bark of a laugh. Your eyes linger on his neck for a second longer than they should. 

“Well the rumors are indeed true,” he says. “Guess we’ll have to ditch Remus, then. Make it a proper date and whatnot.”

“That seems unkind,” you chuckle.

“He’ll live.”

————

“What’s happening here?” Sirius throws himself into one of the chairs on the other side of the table where you and Remus sit. 

“We’re reading,” Remus tells him. “Go away.”

Remus had shown you to this table. Said it was his favorite. There are a small group of them in the very back of the library, behind one of the last rows of shelves. You wouldn’t know they were there unless you went looking. 

He said it’s where he goes to hide when James and Sirius won’t shut up and let him work, which is more often than not. 

“You whined about me making new friends,” Sirius says, “so that I’d leave you alone, and now you’ve taken it upon yourself to steal said friend from me?” 

You cover your face with your book, sliding deeper into your chair and trying your very best to fight off a giggle. 

Sirius reaches across the table and snatches the book from your hands. He wants to see the shit-eating grin you’re hiding. He stands and moves in front of you just when you bury your face in your sleeve. 

He tugs on the fabric of your shirt. “Traded me out then, have you?”

You snort into your sweater, and Sirius watched the way your shoulders shake. Remus eyes his friend’s hand, trying to make sure he didn’t lose your page with his frenzied antics. He didn’t though, pale thumb tucked into the paper.

Remus sets his own book down, stretching over the back of the chair. He’s thinking about going to bed. 

Instead of looking at Sirius like you know he wants, you turn to Remus.

“Leavin’ me, Rem?”

Sirius scoffs. Rem his ass. 

Remus lowers his head so that it’s level with yours. “Sleepy,” he says, squeezing his eyes shut. You look at the scar that runs through his brow and across his eyelid. There’s another by his ear. You wonder if he’ll tell you about them someday. 

He bumps his forehead—the gentlest of taps—with yours, and then he’s standing. Sometimes you forget how lanky he is when he’s always so hunched over. 

“Goodnight, Lupin,” you say. 

“Goodnight, you two. Don’t get too wild. This is still a library.”

Sirius takes the chair Remus had been occupying. You look at him, and reach for his hand. He wouldn’t even think about denying you taking it, even if he is being a grump. 

“I have not traded you out, Sirius.” He glares at you, though his eyes are still much too soft for it to be anything malicious. He’s not sure he could ever look at you in a hateful way. 

“You could’ve read with me,” he argues, tickling your palm. You try and wriggle your hand away, but he only presses his fingers firmly into your skin, keeping you there. 

“Come on.”

“No, you could have,” he continues. “I can be very well behaved, if need be.”

“Oh yeah?” You’re the one smirking now. Sirius is afraid he might never get this image of you out of his head. 

“Yeah.” He leans in, nuzzling his nose against your temple. When he pulls away, you realize he has a smattering of freckles under one eye. You have the urge to touch them, and so you do. 

He relaxes against your hand. “You’re very pretty, Sirius.”

“Thank you.” He kisses your knuckle. “You’re very pretty, too, sweets.”

“Thank you.”

In the weeks since your Mandrake project has finished—and the plant did indeed survive—Sirius has grown increasingly attached to you. Frankly he finds himself shocked that you’re willing to deal with him at all, let alone that his friends like you so much. He wasn’t even a little upset that you’re spending time with Remus. You have a lot in common, actually. 

He just likes to tease you. And he’s very good at it. 

“So you come looking for me because you need something? Or are you perhaps attention starved?” You question, taking your hand away from his face, though your other is still within his grasp. 

“Most definitely the latter.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

He speaks close to your ear as if he’s about to spill the world’s most confidential information. “Is this a safe space?”

“Absolutely,” you assure him. 

“I want you to play with my hair,” Sirius says. 

You gasp, clutching at your nonexistent pearls. 

Your moment's pause makes him a little nervous. “Well let’s get on with it then,” you tell him.

You take Sirius up to your common room, it being much too late for anyone to be up. You slip your fingers into his hair, scratching at his scalp until he’s falling asleep and you’ve made promises of braiding it sooner or later. Eventually, you have to wake him, send him off to bed.

And he pouts. God, does he pout. But it’s okay. He’ll get you to do it again tomorrow.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[givethemsmut]

Dom Mysterio x Reader

Chapter Twenty-Six | Where It All Started…

I watched Dom make out with Liv until I felt my stomach fall down to my knees.

Finding security near by he saw the bracelet on my wrist and immediately came over. Whispering to him I asked for a quick exit when he jumped the barricade and ushered me safely backstage.

Once I was backstage everything became a blur until the fresh air hit my face. I could hear the crowd going wild and I knew his segment probably came to a finish.

That’s when the blur was fueled by my racing heart. I felt the panic and ache swell in my chest enough to force me to walk quicker to the bus. I was embarrassed, tricked into being front row for it, and tired of using other people to avoid being together. If we couldn’t do it in our personal life then I didn’t want to do it professionally either.

But Dom didn’t understand separation of work and me.

On the bus I packed everything up of my own, leaving zero trace I was there at all when I struggled to carry my oversized duffle bag and rolling suitcase. The fans waiting for someone to walk by witness me struggling and I felt pressured to be transparent about what I saw when all I wanted to do was hide.

“Sweetheart, let me help you.” Randy’s tall form jogged over and took over my bags for me before automatically hauling them in a random trunk.

“That’s not Dom’s rental,” I retorted.

“It’s mine. I’ll drive you to the airport. I’m leaving too anyways.” He watched me look more lost than ever. Suddenly all the other ways I felt silenced and all I felt was pain.

“Um… I should probably tell Dom. Maybe his dad? I’m not really sure yet.” I stammered and stuttered around each word.

Guiding me to the car I let him, “Just get in the car. Now isn’t the time.”

“He saw me there and he didn’t even come for me. Was him cheating the first time?” I felt stupid asking his enemy and expecting a true answer.

Pulling the door open I slipped inside only for Randy to round the car and get behind the wheel. “It doesn’t matter right now… Dominik only sees it from his point of view - work. He doesn’t understand how fragile you are.”

“Fragile?”

His hand squeezed mine, “How long have you been popping pills?”

I could feel my chest seize up altogether. I wanted to deny it, hell, I wanted to outright lie if it meant not admitting it. Swallowing down the lump of pride in my throat first, “Since I lost the baby.”

“Jesus. I didn’t know. Last thing you need is this bullshit.” Randy’s hand slipped from my hand to my leg before he pulled out. I fixed my eyes on the venue exit but Dom never rushed out to find me. There was no fairytale ending.

It was me knowing all along that you don’t find forever at fourteen.

At the airport Randy traded his ticket for a one trip to California instead of his home. He was determined to make sure I got home okay and I was arguing, not when I wanted to check out.

“No strings or expectations. Just trying to be a good guy,” his hand guided me to our seats and I let him. I tried to keep my eyes open but my body gave up when I leaned into him and let myself fall asleep.

Randy woke me up when we landed, got our bags, and even hailed a car when I realized he didn’t know where I lived. Leaning forward I gave up my address before sitting back into my seat. Letting myself lean against Randy’s toned body I felt the tears ruin my face when I saw I had one missed call.

Dom called me exactly once.

Maybe we didn’t belong together and we simply kept letting fate fuck with us because the sex was good. My head filled with negative thoughts until the car dropped us off in the driveway.

Randy spawned next to me and all of me tensed, “What are you doing?”

“Making sure you’re okay… kind of traded my ticket for this one. Let me hang out til I get a new one.” His charm was dangerous the same way Dom was.

Walking towards the door I breezed inside, dropping my bags, and b-lining it straight to some whiskey. Yanking the top off I helped myself to drinking from the bottle when Randy rushed to stop me. “My house. My rules. I don’t plan on being sober so if you’re staying you’ll be good with that.”

With his hands up he responded, “Okay. Got it.”

I gripped the bottle and my phone making it my mission to rot away in bed. I wanted to disappear, fade out, be too drunk or high to care that Dom wasn’t who I thought.

At the top of the stairs I stopped, “How many girls have there been?”

Randy’s hands on his hips I watched him exhale and avoid answering when I repeated the question with no patience. “A few that I know of. Liv’s been sharing a hotel room with Dom for weeks now. I don’t think it ends on screen…”

Pivoting on my heel I went to my room and slammed the door behind me. Skimming down the other side of the door I let myself sob and reach for my phone.

Me: How could you? We used people to make each other jealous. It was never us picking other people or cheating.

Dom: I want to explain. You weren’t supposed to be ring side.

Me: Why? Because if I saw you kiss her I’d know that means something? I’ve watched you kiss Marie for half our teenage years, I know the difference when you mean it and don’t. You used your fucking tongue, Dom.

Dom: I didn’t cheat. I told her nothing could happen until I talked to you. I never meant for this to happen… shit.

Me: What did you want to happen, Dom? You wanted to fuck her instead of faking it for TV?

Dom didn’t respond to my question but instead told me he would be home to talk tomorrow. No amount of talking would help.

I dragged myself to bed, sobbing and drinking until my eyes felt too dry to cry another stream. Laying there with the TV doing a bad job of drowning me out I heard Randy knock on the door. “I’m gonna come in and check on you. I ordered food, peace offering.”

Slowly opening the door I sat up watching him proceed with caution with every step inside my bedroom. “Why did you get divorce?”

His eyebrows went up in shock, “I had a pill problem and a keeping it in my pants problem.”

“You cheated? Like Dom?”

“Worse, sweetheart. I fucked everything that moved and pretended my wife couldn’t tell.”

On my knees I emerged from the covers, softly touching my own boobs and watching Randy for a reaction. “What if I want you to fuck me?”

“You’re incredibly beautiful… but I know this is just the pain and boozes talking. You and Dom can get through this.” Randy stood there on the side of my bed, watching me, unmoving.

My hand dipped between my own legs and I let out a small whimper. “I don’t want to get through it, I want revenge. Don’t make me touch myself…”

“You’ve know each other since what age? Fourteen? Revenge doesn’t exist anymore, babe. Even if it did, neither of you are willing to give up on each other.” I hated him for being right. I hated him for figuring out our games the way we should have. “I can touch you. Hell, I’ll have you screaming my name, but there’s no point when you’ll always choose him.”

“Then what do I do? Forgive him? Forget? This is just the life I picked when I picked him?” The sobs shook me uncontrollably.

“Talk to him, figure out why it happened and try to fix that.” Randy reached out and held me while I cried to the point where he got into my bed with me just to hold me.

“Why did you cheat?” I almost whispered like he couldn’t possible have the answers to my problems.

“I was on the road most of the year… I was frustrated with that, I should have went home more, I shouldn’t have called. I let things go too far then threw my hands up and let it since I was in trouble anyways.”

Cuddling into his side I felt his arm push my into him more. “He came home a lot. We were having sex. I wasn’t a prude. We had sex before his match.”

Rubbing my back we both knew no one had the answers. Dom wanted me to be his but he didn’t want to just be mine.

My phone buzzed on the sheets and a photo of us filled the screen. Sliding my finger against the answer button I felt the alcohol settle inside of me as I silently waited for my heart to kickstart.

“I’m getting in the cab now. You’re home, right?”

I couldn’t speak let alone think straight. Slurring my words I shouted, “Don’t bother! You killed us. There’s no more us.”

[cancerian-woman]

https://www.tumblr.com/cancerian-woman/742418693542264832/the-parallels-between-tyler-and-klaus-are-actually?source=share

I think both Tyler and Marcel get hate because people love the main characters of the shows that they’re in. In Tyler’s case, Klaus was a main villain and had that little stint with Caroline, so it really didn’t matter what evil shit Klaus did to deserve Tyler’s hate, he was gonna be hated regardless. Even in TO, because The Mikaelsons™️ were the main characters, Tyler trying to kill that werewolf girl is vilified even though she deserved it. Same with Marcel, even though he wasn’t always right, he was right most of the time and justified in his feelings towards Klaus and the family, but because he was against the Mikaelsons™️, people hated him. There’s also the fact that he’s black and Tyler also doesn’t look white, but the fandom isn’t going to acknowledge the racism at play, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Marcel, considering he was literally a slave and Klaus constantly used that against him, but the fandom ain’t ready for that conversation (they literally tried to gaslight someone who brought up the subtle racism in the way Klaus talks to Marcel, let me link it).

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheVampireDiaries/comments/1643ll4/klaus_was_lowkey_racist_for_saying_this/

But I think Marcel is a little less hated in TO compared to Tyler in TVD/TO due to the fact that he had better writing and an actual storyline going for him. Tyler was only there when convenient and I think Plec didn’t know what to do with him.

Reddit is hell. You aren’t wrong either. One TVDU fans will always deny racism ingrained in the plot bc godforbid their favorite show has some negative connotations. I want to add in Elijah and Hayley are just as guilty (if not all the Mikaelson’s) of having some racist/and or derogatory dialogue to Marcel.

Second point Tyler from season 1-4 alone had the development people think Damon/Klaus had. However, whenever you give Tyler any sort of praise for NOT taking that abuse from Richard/Klaus copying that behavior. People will mention how Tyler tried to kill Hayley and unborn Hope to lessen his development. As if Hayley and Klaus didn’t deserve that shit.

It’s irritating as hell Tyler was the introduction to werewolves. Most of that was off screen but we do see how adamant Tyler is about freeing these hybrids from their sirebonds and slavery to Klaus. Just for them to die and for Hayley to get a full push as this werewolf queen who cares about everyone. While never acknowledging her past.

Michael Trevino will forever have one of the best werewolf transitions I ever seen. Nobody compares 🤷🏽‍♀️.

[bestworstcase]

on rewatch, found it very interesting that jaune doesn’t care that the paper people overhear him insulting them (or at least doesn’t visibly show it), they aren’t truly people to him in some ways, he gave them the names of his friends but they aren’t his friends, they’re props so he can feel he has someone to save, they’re remnants….

anyways salem parallels first the years of isolation then this, the groundwork is real and they are laying it

wearily taps the sign. the story begins with salem tenderly describing humanity’s rise from the ashes the gods consigned them to, by strength of human passion, ingenuity, and resourcefulness. “they don’t know what they want! […] afterans are all either too clever, too stupid, or too crazy to trust!” isn’t a salem parallel—it’s an ozpin parallel.

specifically,

OZPIN: It is true that grimm are attracted to the relics. It’s faint, but undeniable. I believe it has something to do with their origin, but I’m not entirely sure; regardless, I feared that making you all aware would only add anxiety and negativity. It seemed like the safer option.

WEISS: You know, I’m getting real tired of people choosing what’s best for me.

YANG: Is that why you chose to to lie to everyone about Lionheart, too?

OZPIN: Yes, as a matter of fact! I believed the kingdom of Mistral deserved better than the truth!

[…]

YANG: Look, we’re supposed to be in this together. You can trust us! We’re not gonna turn our backs on you—

OZPIN: Do you really think Leo was the first? That he didn’t say those exact same words to me? I’m sorry, but you have to understand that my behaviors are backed by experience.

salem is not the immortal character devoting her existence to the holy quest of secretly shepherding humankind toward ‘redemption’—salem is not the one who weaves elaborate falsehoods to “protect” humanity from itself, and salem is not the one given to twisting herself in rhetorical knots to justify her obsession with maintaining the oppressive status quo or her refusal to put her trust in anyone but herself, and salem is not the one who treats the world like a fairytale

that’s ozpin’s bag.

the salem-jaune parallel in this episode is -> “i know i’m not okay, i’m- i’m not right, but what am i supposed to be? i’ve been alone… for so long. here. on that… bridge. i was the only one that could do it—i was the only one! and i—and now i have to live with that forever, in here or back home.” <- like i know I KNOW salem has not verbalized this feeling yet but

SO THAT’S HOW IT IS

while jaune is the antagonist, he’s ozpin. when he admits that he’s broken and finally allows turns around to face what’s hurting him, he becomes salem-but-surrounded-by-love again.

[melis-writes]

Hey Mel, hope you’re doing great ♥️

I’m seeing all these Victonny prompts and I have to just say…

It’ll always be Michael and Victoria for me. Can’t imagine either of them being unfaithful to the other ♥️

So I’ve got an idea for a Vichael prompt:

They both get home just a few days after they’re married from a dinner or something and Michael is super romantic towards her, praising her and holding her. The prompt could begin with:

“You know you looked so beautiful tonight, I couldn’t look at anybody else”.

Hiii, my beloved!! 💓 I’ve also seen/received your other lovely prompts and will get to them very soon too! Vichael is just… everything. 😍 I love Victonny too because it’s so scandalous, hot and very new, but my heart definitely ultimately belongs to Michael x Victoria forever. 🤞🏻 We know how very loyal they are to each other, soulmates forever! This prompt is taking us back to the late summer of 1949 when these two first got married!! 🥰🥰🥰

Five days ago you experienced one of the best days of your life, dressed in a custom designed wedding gown of your dreams, getting married to Michael in front of family, friends and colleagues as you officially became Mrs. Corleone.

One of the best days of not only your life but also Michael’s, it’s only been five days since the wedding and both of you are still mesmerized and in some ways, even shy.

Now as husband and wife and getting to know one another in that regard all over again, there’s nothing but hopeful optimism for your future with Michael, your marriage in general, and of course, the family you two are planning for.

There isn’t a inch of uncertainty, doubt or any negative feelings whatsoever in either of your hearts about one another, but an excitement for all that may come to and most certainly towards any kind of free time you and Michael have to spend with one another.

Michael could care less about attending social gatherings, restaurants or dinner parties to begin with although almost all of his business requires it one way or another.

When it comes to spending the night dining out with you, talking and continuing to get to know one another over a hearty meal in any setting so as long as you’re there with him, brings Michael a sort of peace and serenity he can’t quite explain.

Not only have you and Michael spent the entirety of the day alone with one another and still unable to get enough, your day comes to an end tonight with a evening spent at your favourite Italian restaurant with Michael as you both return home.

From the moment you step out of Michael’s Cadillac in your strapless, mermaid silhouette, black satin gown you have your husband in awe of every inch of you all over again.

Michael can neither take his eyes off of your beauty nor does he even realize he pays attention to nothing else while unlocking the front door to your newly furnished estate until the two of you are inside.

You turn the lights on in the foyer—the grand chandelier above the two of you illuminating your home brightly as you turn to face your husband while taking off your heels. “Thank you for tonight, honey.”

“Nothing to thank me for, darling.” Michael gently wraps an arm around your waist to hold your balance as you take off your stilettos, putting his keys back into his pocket. “It’s all for you.”

“I’m still thankful and grateful either way.” You blush, about to carefully hike up your gown a little to make your way up the spiral staircase only to squeal in surprise as Michael scoops you up into his arms bridal style.

Michael gazes at you in his arms momentarily, still stunned to feel the emotions he thought he’d never care for again or feel after all this time return to you just by looking into your eyes.

That look is enough for you, causing you to blush furiously and glance away out of striking shyness you still feel towards Michael.

Pushing open the ajar bedroom door, Michael carefully sets you down and turns on the lights, only for you to turn around and face him again as Michael holds onto your arm, sliding his hand down until its laced with yours—leaving you a blushing mess.

“You know how absolutely beautiful you looked tonight?” Michael gently pulls you toward him. “I couldn’t look at anybody else—anything else.”

“Thank you, baby.” Your cheeks flare hot with blush. “Maybe that’s why you took me home so early?”

“Perhaps.” You can see a faint smile over Michael’s lips as he leans in, kissing yours sweetly. “And I want it spent with nobody and nothing else but you.”

“I want that more than you can know.” Just as you reach your hands behind your back to begin to pull off your dress, you find Michael’s warm hands over yours.

“Let me,” Michael murmurs softly over your neck, helping you undress.

Your muscles relax against Michael’s embrace from behind, slowly tugging off the delicate fabric off of you.

“I’m going to miss you tomorrow,” you whisper, pressing Michael’s hands down on you as they reach your waist.

“You’re all that’s on my mind then and now, baby,” Michael speaks back to you in an ushered tone as you slip out of your dress with ease.

“You give me something to look forward to,” you can’t hide the shy smile growing over your lips. “I can’t help myself.”

“And neither can I.” Michael’s tone of voice becomes breathy and low as he begins to trail hot kisses over your neck, embracing you by your hips and showering you in affection.

“Mm,” a soft, barely audible whimper escapes your lips as you indulge yourself in Michael’s affection—the scent of his cologne surrounding you enough to turn you on all the more.

“As I said…” Michael murmurs, deepening his kisses and letting his lips linger over your skin. “I couldn’t get my eyes off of you. All I wanted to do was take you home…”

Michael’s hand slides underneath your bra, squeezing at your breasts before moving down your stomach. “And have you all to myself.”

“Michael,” you moan softly—already feeling your nipples harden from arousal.

Michael pulls back a curtain of your hair behind your ear, pressing his chest against your back a little more. “I want to make love to you again tonight, baby.”

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🌤️- December 2023 - Taurus

Singles:

Overall energy: The Fool

How you will meet: Knight of Swords

How they will treat you: 4 Cups

Long-term Potential: Queen of Swords

I assume you’re both single with this energy, but that doesn’t mean there’s a reconciliation here. One of you is taking a leap of faith towards the other person, not knowing what the outcome could even be - based on whatever had happened in the past between you. But they’re doing it anyway, you or them. Someone could be harshly communicating their judgement and negative perceptions of the other person or relationship as a whole, one/both of you speak in a way that can be like throwing knives at the other’s head, vicious & cutting in how your/their truth is spoken. There’s no real healing here. This is a Twin.

You’ve already separated one time, and it looks like this is the time period where you switch, whoever was the chaser has already gone through hell and because of that - is now the runner 🏃‍♀️ This person isn’t spiritually awakened, they aren’t feeling anything from a higher vibration, although their messages are encouraging and they’ll probably get there someday. Thus their message saying “Not Ready yet”. They’re not, they don’t get it, and can’t explain it either, but they know they hurt you, and will apologize. King of Cups shows they have a lot of deep feelings they don’t express, they’re not happy to be without you, or alone generally, but they can’t fix it either. You’re still upset at whatever happened in the past. Feelings on both sides, nostalgia on both sides, it’s still just a swap though. Long term potential is you feeling very guarded and protective over yourself & your heart where this person is concerned, feeling emotionally detached and happy you left them. They left you, you left them = Justice. Do I see reconciliation, no. No because you don’t want to. By the time this person is “ready”, you will have pulled yourself through this emotional & spiritual hell without them, successfully, and probably be on a whole other path (also meant to be). There lies the challenge of all Twin Flame journeys. Life happens ❤️ You will feel that everything has happened how it should though, Justice, and that’s a very positive outcome.

Messages -

Their side:

- I regret what I’ve done to you.

- Not Ready…yet

Your side:

- Questionable past/morals

- I need a BREAK from this.

Oracles -

Their side: TWIN FLAMES 🔥

- Yin/Yang & Balance

- Union & Duality

- Complement

- Polar Opposites

Your side: PICTURE 📸

- Looking at Pictures

- Missing You

- Nostalgia

- Make New Memories

Signs you may be dealing with:

Libra, Gemini, Leo, Scorpio & Cancer

Couples:

Overall energy: 6 Swords

Current: The Chariot

Challenge: The World

How they feel about you: Strength

How you feel about them: Knight of Wands

Outcome: The Hermit rev

Travel is all over this reading, and with The World being the challenge, there could be long distances in between you. A whole ocean even, different countries, or it’s possible one of you is from somewhere else and you’re both traveling “home” to visit. Or traveling away from home altogether, vacationing, doing something different than the usual routines and traditions in your family - whatever they are. Incorporating something new, this new start, is difficult for you to do, being a fixed sign especially, though it does feel positive. You have a lot of fear, if things are different for one year, will they be for all of the years? Is this the beginning of an end? Or whatever you’re not doing & leaving behind, is it Death forever?

You both show up as King & Queen of Pentacles, and it seems like you’re in this together, traveling together. Your person has the message that “they can’t stay” though, which leads me to believe you two actually live in different areas, and possibly interact online more than anywhere else - The World. They feel you holding back from deeply committing to this connection, because of the distance and any other variables involved. You’re The Hierophant, more old fashioned, maybe not in every way but some things just can’t be changed in your mind. We bake cookies in December and visit our families and it’s supposed to be this way, it’s the moral & traditional way for a reason - The Hierophant. Or your lover is supposed to be with you, not 5,000 miles away, and you’re questioning this relationship & how it aligns with your deeply ingrained beliefs, routines, personal preferences, and feelings.

The problem is your feelings for them, being Knight of Wands, you could feel like they’re just taking you for a ride, popping in for a quick visit just to go back where they came from days later, but nothing really changes. This situation is forcing you to see what you really want by making you see what you don’t, and the only thing you know for sure is that you don’t fully trust this person. They could feel you’re a sure bet and you feel they’re anything but. Whether that’s true or not, that’s how you feel, and you have past experiences that add to these feelings of doubt, whether it’s with this person or others.

Outcome for mid-Jan is this person coming back around again, hoping that things will work out between you. It’s like you don’t know why you even hope for this but you still do, and they do show up as your divine counterpart, The Star which lights the path you’re meant to be on, and “you are my path” for an extra sign, in case you missed the others. They are a soulmate, whether it works out in the long-run or not, whoever this is brings deep meaning to your life and illuminates your path when you feel left “in the dark”, fearful and confused - The Moon. For some this can be a Twin, they’re kinda impulsive & unreliable, you don’t see this ever working out. Twins don’t make sense, and you’re an earth sign that needs things to make sense. Aim for hopeful & leave the rest up to Spirit, Twin or not, they are something spiritually to you. Just be grateful for what they’ve brought to your life and move in your own way, towards the things you believe, want, feel, desire, expect - because you have to. If you’re just traveling for the holidays, or one of you are, it will feel good to see each other, visit, and come back home. You don’t have to commit to anything you don’t want to do, that feels important for you, feelings or no feelings, if you don’t want to commit deeply to some person in another country, or whatever other issues are between you…don’t. Don’t compromise your beliefs and also don’t force other people to abide by them, if it’s meant to be it will be ❤️

Messages -

Their side:

- Homebody 🏠

- I can’t STAY

Your side:

- You are my path.

- Gorgeous 😍

Oracles -

Their side: HEALTHY CHOICES 🥬

- Self-Love & Self-Care

- Being Happier

- Love & Life

Your side: BLOWING KISS 😘

- Unconditional Love

- Giving & Receiving

- Fairness & Love

- Affection Returned

Signs you may be dealing with:

Taurus, Aquarius, Scorpio, Capricorn & Sagittarius

[teenyweenyeenymeeny]

🧨 for everyone u can think of! This is always one of my favorites 2 know

everyone omg … okay !!!!! if I forget anyone tell me and I will reblog !!! + this is Kind of hard for me perhaps as someone who is kind of little All of the time without many specific triggers so if I can’t think of anything or wander off topic you have to be nice to me !!

🧨 - What triggers their regression? (Positive or negative)

Mystic Messenger

Jumin - mostly it is stress !! He is always a Little bit stressed he is very busy all the time !! But when things get to him on a Personal level [like if Elizabeth III is in danger or the RFA or when he has to interact with his dad’s new girlfriends… I think there is one more thing the game said bothered him Especially but I can’t remember what it is !! Oops !!!] ALSO if he is overstimulated he regresses too !! when he is more comfy regressing he has positive triggers too like being called certain nicknames or certain cat characters he might see OR actually this one is not really positive but Also it is not negative but he thinks it is. Very Inconvenient !! But wearing a mask starts to be something that makes him feel little just because it is something he does most often when he Is little and similarly !! Sometimes putting a diaper on for bed makes him feel small !!

Yoosung - if ANYONE babies him he WILL be a baby in response 🤍 including praising him and calling him cute OR teasing or worrying for him which !! Happens often hehe… SO much makes him regress like. Thinking too hard about regressing triggers it !! Talking about Rika makes him regressed and upset though :(

Seven - he doesn’t regress too often especially when he is Big Brother In Charge but. EXTREMELY easy way to make him regress is. Vanderwood getting frustrated with him jsjsjsj Vanderwood isn’t Exactly his caregiver but he definitely has a. Naggy mom role tehe

Saeran - for positive triggers… ice cream! It reminds him of the good parts of his childhood… but unfortunately that is kind f… the only good happy one 🥺 most f th time he regresses for a specific reason it is becaus of nightmares :(

Ray - he has a lot of similar negative triggers as Saeran but more positive ones !! He regresses when people are affectionate toward him 🤍

Persona 5

Akira - soso many once again… affection… praise… AND also when he feels like he did something wrong :( he ALSO regresses if he does stuff he does when he is little !! Like consuming kiddy media or colouring or playing games or I don’t know !! Wah !! Oh accidents too !! They make him feel Very little

Futaba - she regresses when she is scared or overwhelmed :( but more POSITIVELY she mostly regresses when Kira is already regressed !! She loooves being his cool big sister 🤍

Akechi - regresses when he is overwhelmed and when he is frustrated he throws BIG tantrums

Mishima - he !! regresses when he feels safe I think ๑❛ᴗ❛๑ like hm. After something scary when things are okay again !! he is. Forever Relieved he doesn’t regress IMMEDIATELY when things are scary he doesn’t like to think about what would have happened if he regressed in front of Kamoshida :( and being praised of course. He is a good baby ๑>ᴗ❛๑

Persona 4

Yuu - weh… difficult I was just about to say But perhaps not. As much as I first thought he regresses when other people baby him and this is Vague it. Includes even when Yosuke buys food for him and stuff like that !! Also specifically !!! Bunny apples because Ayane and he eat them when they regress together 🤍

Yosuke - often he regresses when he is anxious !! mostly in a jealous way like if he feels left out he is like 🥺🥺🥺 but Also when either Chie or Yuu are regressed he almost ALWAYS does he is their big brother !!

Chie - sometimes when she is watching kung fu movies and practicing her moves she is having so much fun and she regresses !! And also when Yosuke is regressed she is almost ALWAYS his little sister + when Yuu is regressed she likes to be his big sister but she doesn’t always regress to do that

Kanji - cute things 🤍 especially more “girlish” cute things because he is more comfortable presenting in a more traditionally “feminine” way when he’s little !! He loves soft things especially like stuffed animals and blankets AND he also loves cute little animal crackers 🤍 all of these things help him regress !!!!! AND also when his friends are gentle with him 🤍

Naoto - he regresses either when he is overwhelmed OR when he is having fun !!! Especially if he is solving puzzles !!!! He loves those 🤍

Teddie - it is kind of hard to tell when he is regressed or not because VERY little changes but he does it when he is having fun OR when he and Yosuke fight that is an INSTANT little brother trigger

Ayane - I think she is. Like me !!!! She is almost always kind of little she is just also almost always able to pretend she’s not around people she doesn’t trust [everyone but Yuu] the only triggers she has to make her feel so little she can’t as easily hide it are when she has to settle for things she doesn’t like for the sake of others’ happiness and also !!!! Bunny apples ๑❛ᴗ❛๑

Lookism (no one cares but me 🤍)

Jay - getting attention especially from Daniel !!! He is kind of easy to trigger most of the time it is not specific but when Daniel talks to him it certainly makes him regress

Vasco - ouuuu being taken care of and fussed over 🤍 like after he gets in a fight when Jace cleans him up Easy start to baby time !!! Especially if he gets a cool bandaid !!!!!!!

[bornfornothin]

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 .

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟷    :    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄.

NAME  :    job mendel pasternak EYE COLOR  :    brown, almost hazel HAIR STYLE  /  COLOR  :    black, and graying just a little, but he dyes it so no one can tell. it’s wavy and sort of long, but not as long as it used to be. he styles it in a pretty fluffy and dated style. he uses a lot of hairspray. HEIGHT  :    6'2″ CLOTHING STYLE  :    crop tops and button ups with loud patterns that are never actually all the way buttoned, if at all. he wears very tight jeans, jean cut-offs, and leather pants. sometimes he wears colorful little sports shorts; the very short kind. he owns one suit that he really only wears to temple, usually, and it’s orange plaid. BEST PHYSICAL FEATURE  :    his eyebrows or his nose. maybe his eyelashes.

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟸    :    𝐓𝐇𝐄    𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄.

FEARS  :    that his life is never going to get any better, only worse. being alone forever. GUILTY PLEASURE  :     there isn’t anything in particular that he feels guilty about more than others. he usually feels some kind of general guilt about most things he enjoys sometimes. BIGGEST PET PEEVE  :    when people assume he’s a christian. when people make fun of his accent. there’s a lot more that bothers him, but they’re less pet peeves and more things that make him really angry. AMBITIONS FOR THE FUTURE  :    he’s always just wanted to have a fairly normal life, and get married and have kids, but it’s really seeming like that won’t happen for him, so he tries not to think about it. he’s never been ambitious at all.

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟹    :    𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒.

FIRST THOUGHTS WAKING UP  :    "i'm never gonna drink again.” or “whose house is this?” (even if he’s home; he’s just disoriented a lot) THEY THINK ABOUT MOST  :    job is highly prone to negative self talk, and regularly criticizes himself, even just generally. he frequently thinks he’s not good enough, not smart, not all that good looking, and things like that. he also worries about and dreads the future more and more as he gets older. mostly, though, he thinks about sex. WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT BEFORE BED  :    if he’s alone, he thinks a lot about either a specific person or generally about wishing someone was there with him. if he’s depressed, he thinks a lot of self-deprecating things. WHAT THEY THINK THEIR BEST QUALITY IS  :    i know i’ve mentioned a few times that job doesn’t usually believe himself to be particularly good looking, but he does think he’s sexy (there’s a difference). he thinks he’s got a nice body. personality-wise, he knows he’s pretty thoughtful, or at least that he tries to be.

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟺    :    𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓’𝐒    𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑?

SINGLE OR GROUP DATES  :    it’s a toss-up. he does think it’s nice to see his friends make out with other people and all, but he likes the intimacy of single dates. group dates where everyone is with each other is great too. TO BE LOVED OR RESPECTED  :    loved, for sure. he doesn’t care about being respected, beyond basic human respect. BEAUTY OR BRAINS  :    honestly, beauty. he doesn’t care how smart someone is. and honestly, people who are particularly smart, in his experience, tend to be condescending towards him and treat him like he’s dumb. not that he would avoid someone just because they’re smart. that said, he finds a lot of physical traits beautiful, even if they’re not conventionally considered to be so.  DOGS OR CATS  :     cats. 

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟻    :    𝐃𝐎    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘…

LIE  :    all the time. a lot of it is just out of habit. there’s many times where the truth would be better in the long run, or even when it doesn’t really serve any purpose to lie. BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES  :    not really. sometimes he does, but overall, no. BELIEVE IN LOVE  :    yes, very much. he’s been in love a lot, but not had a lot of people be in love with him. WANT SOMEONE  :    always.

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟼    :    𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄    𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘    𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑…

BEEN ON STAGE  :    yes, many times. he’s sang in clubs. CHANGED WHO THEY WERE TO FIT IN  :    no. as much as he wants to be liked, he doesn’t see the point in people liking him for anyone other than who he is.

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟽    :    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒.

FAVORITE COLOR  :     he likes a lot of colors, mostly very bright or pastel, like orange, yellow, red, and pink. FAVORITE ANIMAL  :     he would say bugs bunny FAVORITE BOOK  :     he has never read a book (besides the torah) FAVORITE GAME  :    baseball, both playing and watching

𝙻𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁  𝟶𝟶𝟾    :    𝐀𝐆𝐄.

DAY THEIR NEXT BIRTHDAY WILL BE  :    idk i’m not checking HOW OLD WILL THEY BE  :    40, and he’s about due for a midlife crisis

TAGGED BY: i think i stole this from @sparrowsfall​ a really long time ago but i ain’t even sure TAGGING: steal it

[ignorethisblogplz]

I wish I didn’t have to exist. Not in the way of hating my mother for having me, it isn’t her fault I feel the way I feel. Existence is just tiring, I feel exhausted all the time. No matter if im happy or upset, im just so tired of being here, and the only other option is suicide. But my issue isn’t wanting to die, it’s with being alive. Life itself is a constant question of “Is [this] worth [this]?”and it has always been this way for me. Is cleaning my room worth doing, just to avoid argument? Is getting out of bed worth it, just to get through another day? Is life worth living, just to struggle through every second?

I cant even question if I want to die, because my answer is ever changing. Sometimes I just want to hurt, and to be upset and angry about it all. I feel like im stuck in some horrible situation with no solution. Sometimes I make myself hurt to take the edge off, sometimes I do it without reason.

The other answer is that I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to experience consciousness. It’s the expression of wanting to sleep forever, or to isolate and rot all day.

Another answer could be that I want to die to hurt others, just for interacting with me. This shows up the least, but occasionally I just want to die to be mourned. Maybe to take someone else with me, whether I love them or not.

The worst part of living is knowing I don’t have it that bad. I don’t have another mouth to feed, im not impoverished, im not sick. Im safe and fed and I can enjoy things. I haven’t experienced a real tragedy in my life, the worst thing to happen to me hardly affects me anymore. It could be so much worse, and yet I cant bring myself to enjoy living. I can hardly bring myself to want anything other than small distractions. I don’t want a future, I don’t want a home, I don’t want a family, I don’t want to create. I can’t even shake off simple things, everything that upsets me just eats away at me endlessly. Self awareness is the only real curse I have, I know most of my problems are self made, and I either don’t know how to solve them, or I don’t have the discipline to solve them myself.

There comes the issue of “If destruction of yourself meant destruction of others, would you?” and the flip-side of “If destruction of others meant destruction of yourself, would you?”

And the answer is that I don’t know. Im not sure I hate myself, and I certainly don’t hate everyone. I don’t think everyone deserves to die, I frequently find myself sympathetic to anyone I consider “followers”. Even if it’s a group of awful people, I can find sympathy for the lowest tiers.

But I would really like to cease to exist, I just would hate to live through the aftermath of the attempt, or live beyond death. I wish I could make others cease to exist, before they have to experience life at all. Once they are living, it is up to them what they want, but I wish someone would have saved me from existence.

Sometimes I get stuck in my head, frequently so. I think people are out to get me, and sometimes they are. Sometimes im correct. I can be logical and recognize that my own mother probably won’t want me dead, but sometimes I can’t help but think that the people I center my life around won’t end up hating me for some reason or another, or that they don’t already. Im almost certain that most people who see me without meeting me are either apathetic or negative towards me.

This feeling even reflects into straight apathy towards most things. The strongest example of this in my opinion is how lax my boundaries could be in some situations. Cheating? If you don’t leave me or give me a disease, sure. Hurting me? Just don’t rack up the bills. Breaking things? Id rather you not but if i really love you it’s okay. I know these are things I shouldn’t let people get away with, but I just can’t bring myself to waste the energy to care. Im constantly in a beaten down state, I could agree to pretty much anything as long as I don’t have to put in extra effort.

It’s only made worse by being transgender, I just can’t be bothered to pass sometimes. Anytime I feel like someone sees me as a man, it just feels fake and performative. The most relaxed I ever feel is when im alone, no mirrors, and with some distraction to drown out my thoughts. I can forget I am alive, I can forget I have a body. I can feel like there is nothing outside of my room, like im just a phantasm haunting the place. But being a ghost isn’t what I would want, that still requires existence, even post mortem.

[the-crimson]

I’m not sure how to word my sadness while scrolling through the qsmp tag this morning. There was only one person that I saw (well I saw other people mentioning them as id blocked them about a week ago lmao) stiring the pot and being negative/racist while most others were either reacting to the cesspool that is Twitter or that one person which was kind of creating an echo chamber of worry/negativity.

Unfortunately there isn’t really anything we can do about the assholes other than block and move on. Don’t engage with them as they are looking for that. They want outrage and drama.

The only thing we can do is be extra positive towards the ccs. Encourage them, make more fan content supporting their rp choices, engage in the fandom in a positive way to drown out the negative.

The qsmp is very special. Don’t let the ass holes ruin it for you. Take a break from Twitter if you need to. Block people and report them for hate speech if need be. Be a positive force to counter the negativity

Forever and Cellbit were talking about cross banning everyone shitting on Bagerah and I think that is the best way we can also proceed. Don’t give the assholes any attention. Don’t argue with them. Just block and move on/continue supporting the ccs.

Please don’t let this fandom turn into the dsmp fandom

[onggi]

Shatterpoint

I don’t have a mother, but if I did, she would be a tear duct. I don’t talk about it — I know there’s something a little alien about me, but that’s not exactly why.

Question: How can something born of sadness ever be more than the sum of its parts?

Answer: It can’t. It will always be the product of sadness, born from a dragon’s tear shed over the destruction of war and conflict and the loss of new life. That will mark it forever, inescapably so.

At least, that’s what I believed, but if there was a way to get closure somehow, things would be different. They’d have to be.

I land on the crystallised dustbowl of a planet approximately two days before the spring cycle. Seasons are different on different worlds, but the leylines keep time. They always do. I don’t know why I was drawn to this place, but there’s something magical in the air.

The town is colloquially referred to as the Edge of Nowhere for its isolation. It had a real name, once; one that was probably given with love. Now, it’s the bottom of the barrel, chugging along on the coattails of a crystal mining industry that has slowed down considerably. It’s remote, sparsely populated with travellers who will pass through once and then forget they’ve ever been. I spread my fingers against the dusty ground, feeling the hum of something discordant buzz through my body. Some strange resonance, like an oddly melodic song, seeps right into my bones.

When I sleep, I don’t dream. I think dreaming is for the living, and I’m not quite living, but I’m not dead, either — that would imply I was alive at some point. I’m more automaton than flesh and blood. That’s why it’s so odd when that night, as I close my eyes for my deadsleep, I find myself walking towards the desert. I know, somehow, that there is a brutal tear in the ground itself. I also know that I need to go there. I don’t know what awaits me, out there in the endless liminal sandscape beyond the Edge.

I wake to darkness. I’ve been told that the local pub and lodge, the Watering Hole, is where most people convene at this time of day. Or night. When I press into the throng of people, the acrid smell of booze washing over me like a sordid wave, it’s with my wings boldly visible. I’m used to the looks, so maybe that’s why I don’t notice him. At least, not at first.

Fact: This isn’t my first time here. I’ve returned here time and time again since my inception, each time hoping to find something different. Things have always, unfailingly, been the same — until now. This time, I don’t just feel the earth. I feel someone else, too. I haven’t realised that yet.

“Do you know anyone with a half decent motorskip who could go out on the betweenland?” I ask the bartender. I’ve asked every time, but I’ve never felt the imperative need to be out there before.

Out on the betweenland is the Tear. Tear as in torn, not as in shed, although it makes sense in a way that they’re such similar words. The few people who do live here avoid it like the plague. Too dangerous, they say. Well, maybe it is, for a living being. If I get hurt, I can just stick myself back together.

“Told you last time you was ‘ere,” the bartender replies, “ain’t nobody gonna take you to the Tear.”

Double negatives. It should make a positive, but out on the Edge, it doesn’t.

I haven’t paid the hulking mass hunched over the bar beside me any notice until now, but at the mention of the Tear, it seems to rearrange itself in its layers of black and leather. One huge hand, circled around a glass of amber whiskey, clenches as if to make a fist.

“I’ll take you.”

He doesn’t have that Edge twang to his voice. An outsider, then. Like me. There’s not a single inch of his body that isn’t covered in swathes of fabric. His hands are gloved.

I smile. It’s not really a natural expression for me — none of these mortal displays of emotion are. I don’t really know how to feel emotions the way they do.

“Thank you.”

He tosses back the drink and huffs out something that could be a laugh, but that doesn’t feel quite right, because I haven’t done anything funny.

“Don’t thank me. You’re going to your death out there.”

He tells me his name. I tell him mine. By the time I convince him to go into the Tear with me, we’re almost close enough that I can read the sadness and worn tiredness in the fibres of his muscles.

I wonder if I look that sad. He’s got deep, soulful eyes, filled with a life of regret and another life of denial. I wonder if his third life will be different. Maybe this will bring him as much closure as it will bring me.

I don’t know why I think that, but it doesn’t feel wrong. There’s something about him that tells my magic we’re kindred. I can’t figure out how. He’s not a dragon, but there’s a little bit of draconic aura around him, broken and diminished as it is.

When he finally tells me why, it makes sense. I don’t know how to reassure him.

He pulls off the glove, revealing a crystal hand. I place my smaller palms over his, barely pressing.

“You’re like me.”

It’s the first time anyone has said that to him. It’s the first time I’ve said it to anyone, too.

I kiss him. He kisses back.

It’s an egg. The whole planet is an egg, partially destroyed during the Void Wars, and at its centre is a dead foetus, bleeding amniotic fluid that the miners have been harvesting in the form of powerful crystals for centuries. But it’s drying up now. It’s been drying up for a long time.

When he sees it, he goes white with shock. When I tell him I’m here to destroy it, he opposes it vehemently.

Why? I thought we had an understanding. I don’t get why he’s reacting like this. It’s so human.

He shatters me.

“I can’t do it,” he says to me when I reopen my eyes, shatterpoints shakily reattached with a large and clumsy hand. “I can’t do what they did to me.”

I tilt my head to the side. “You were alive. This one is not.”

He shakes his head, running his crystal hand through his shaggy hair, and sighs deeply. It’s the sigh of an old, old man.

“It’s desecration,” he says.

I’m confused. “What do you mean by that?”

He seems frustrated. “Messing with the dead. Messing with the dead of dragons.” He reaches out to touch me, then retreats as if burned. “It’s not something that’s done.”

He’s scared, I realise. This hulking warrior of ages past is scared of — what? What is he scared of? The egg? The remnants of a dead foetus, life that never was? Or me?

“I can’t leave things as they are,” I say instead of voicing any of these questions. It’s unlike me. If I have a question, I ask it. But right now, I know that if I were to ask any of those questions, he’d shatter as easily as I did beneath the weight of his chains. Maybe not on the outside, but internally.

He lets out that deep sigh again.

“I know.”

When we lay it to rest, he cries fat, bubbling tears. In another world, he would have been a fully fledged dragon. I could have been born from tears like those.

When we lay it to rest, I feel nothing at all. I thought it would be different.

I thought it would be the end.

“No, Angel,” he whispers into my hair that night, camped beside a fire. “It’s just the beginning.”

[writingreadingdaydreaming]

what are your thoughts on the rumours that players from the bundesliga are planning to come out

Honestly? I have some complicated feelings.

Personally I feel like this generation (I mean like people born post 1995ish) are actually starting to regress in term of social development, I don’t think I’ve ever seen people - particularly white people, straight people, cisgender people and men - so hateful towards marginalised groups. If this does happen, the unanimous reaction will not be positive. Look at Josh Cavallo, he says he still gets death threats on a daily basis due to his coming out, and this is someone who is not an international name (as most people outside Australia/New Zealand don’t really engage in the A-League and Josh is yet to debut for the Australian senior men’s team). Obviously we don’t know how high profile the player who may be about to come out are, so we can imagine that they are probably more well-known than Cavallo, therefore the reaction will be doubly as severe. I’m not saying that them coming out is a bad thing, more that everyone involved (including us a queer fans) will have to be emotionally ready for that, because this will most likely be an emotionally draining event for a lot of people.

There’s also the possibility that this isn’t even real. It wouldn’t be the most insane rumours that has ever been falsified and we know the media will take something and run with it before fact-checking. We won’t know for another two weeks 🤷

However, as emotionally draining and challenging as this will be for a lot of people (provided it is actually real), it will be a historic moment in football history, and will probably change the course of the game forever, hopefully in a good way. I know a lot of people who played football to a pretty decent level that decided it was best for them to back out due to their queerness. I don’t want a generation of boys growing up thinking they have to sacrifice their dreams for their identity, and I would like to think that the positives of it would outweigh the negatives in the sense that a lot of young boys who may grow up to discover they are queer will not have to either live a life of regret for quitting their passion or a life of secrecy and fear by having to keep their sexuality under wraps. Hoards of new talent who don’t have to feel bound to heterosexuality to get to a high level, and don’t have to feel like football is a straight man’s game. I think that alone makes it worth it. If it can inspire one young queer boy who just likes kicking a football with his mates, then it’s worth it.

[cclearstars]

doing what you’re doing isn’t moving on or trying to move on.. it’s running and ignoring every feelings and the love that you opened up to me. it’s the fear of what you’ve been through. and to not look past the tragedy we’ve gone through and see it as an opportunity for an amazing comeback of faith is truly just making it all so negative when it doesn’t deserve to be. we deserve to give each other everything again and so much more. i don’t want to make you the villain. you fucked up. you did. you fucked up bad and i was able to give you grace. that should mean a lot to you. i don’t know when you’ll see this but being this way towards will do nothing but make 10 years and almost a year now looks like an absolute shamble of a story. we are strong. we deserve to change the habits of you and your families past. you deserve better in this life. you deserve to accept love. the funny, dark humor, loving, silly, unconditional love. and i know that you’ve been holding back in many ways but i can’t imagine it’s all what you want to be doing either.

please stop. stop blocking me. i haven’t blocked you on a single thing. even with how i feel. very rated that you’d treat me like K so easily to try and forget. don’t. don’t run. we were ready. what happened can be nothing but a bump in the road knowing that we are the best of friends and becoming more was nothing but easy, simple, and blissful. nothing changes those facts.

stop treating me like my long messages are bullshit and leaving them without response. that shows no respect. defend me and met worth… and my character instead of always looking for a way to leave so much out of the story to other people. vulnerability is strength.

give us that. we have a lifetime. of course trying to see forever during tragedy in many categories of life is hard. the best thing we could do is continue. it’s effortless to plan shit out every day we see each other. compatibility is not an issue. life goals are aligned so easily and not an issue. support is not an issue. having kids is not an issue. so take a moment. but things are coming soon. the ball is coming soon. being scared to be married hasn’t been an issue but a woman with unconditional love and support isn’t something to be scared of. just because you were raised to be so ready to run and forget doesn’t mean that you need to do it again. it’s clearly done nothing but corrupt in the past. i’ve expressed i’d be there for it all. you showed me so much that i deserve and more. so please, don’t go down the road of destruction like we mean nothing.

[woodedsilence]

The path to finding myself

I started this blog out initially with the title, “The path to finding my Coven” But, that isn’t where my path began, it did not start with finding a Coven. In fact when I first stepped foot on this path, I thought I would be a solitaire Witch for the rest of my life. I thought I would just have a best friend who accepted me as I was & although didn’t believe in the same thing I did, still supported my choices & even participated in some of my more down to earth rituals for the fun of it all.  Sadly, that didn’t stick either. So no, this path did not walk me straight towards wanting to find my Sister Witches. It began with me coming to accept who I am as a Witch, a Woman and a being & The first thing I had to accept was that it was okay to walk down this path I have chosen to walk down. That this path was not placed before me for you or anyone else to judge. This path was placed before me so that I could walk it until I found out whatever it was that I needed to find out. It is very true that I have wandered quite a bit to get where I am right now and that too is just how it was supposed to be, for whatever reason the universe had in store for me, the life I was meant to live, began with acceptance of myself.

Acceptance from the small and silly, like that I take month long journeys away from my studies or that I was born in Spring not Autumn, to the harder more difficult obstacles, like having to say goodbye to people I thought would be forever in my life simply because their religious beliefs, the same ones I grew up in, are telling them that I am now an evil person.  But, it was the in between issues, I believe, were the the actual test of my time. These in-between issues being that, I didn’t want to embarrass my family or put my Husbands job at risk. This is something I reflected on a lot, especially after someone who was clearly close to me “anonymously” commented on a post attacking me by mentioning personal details about my life that they believed coincided & contradicted my ability to be a Witch. Sadly, it didn’t simply end with the one attack, I would realize it was someone close to me when no matter how “private” or “Secret” I made my accounts, there was always someone to tell me I should kill myself or how it was laughable that I thought I was something greater than I could ever be. Sadly to this day, even though I no longer talk to anyone it could have been, the circle of people it could be is too heartbreaking to face head on.   These were women I trusted at very vulnerable times in life and they were now using those moments as a tool to try & destroy who I was. So, when your circle is small to begin with and it reduces itself in size because of a cowardly need to degrade you, you tend to step way back and reevaluate just how open you truly should be about such things in your life.

Which led me to the deep understanding that I need to keep this path separate from my personal life. My spiritual needs, wants, and desires are something I now choose to keep out of my children, my Husbands and any social life I need to be a part of to help them succeed in life.         Being attacked isn’t the only nor the main reason for this choice. But, I do believe it played a very important role in my personal growth and how I want to be respected & looked upon and how I never want my choices or experiences in life to ever have a negative impact on my families personal choices in life. I refuse to be the reason any of them are judged. Which honestly, works out the way I truly believe it was meant to be because when I take a moment to look at the big picture, I do not see myself being one of those extroverted loud bright Witches anyway. I never felt comfortable with that. I’ve always looked upon Witches of that sort with pure with admiration and respect. But, for me, It just simply isn’t my cup of tea.

Still to this day, I watch Witches who can twirl, laugh and play in their own lives with no qualms for anyone who may or may not be judging them because to them those people fall on the same line, no one of their concern. The freedom they must have intrigues me and I always end up wondering how beautiful life must be for them to be so open and free. But, I always come back to how even if I was given the green light to be as free as I wanted to be, it’s not who I truly am. Who I am is more recluse & conservative, for lack of remembering the actual word I wanted to use there. As mentioned above finding out who I was, who I am and what I want the future for myself to look like did not come to me over night. This acceptance of me has taken well over 25 years to come to fruition & I think it can be summed up nicely by saying; I have done more than enough in my life that I truly regret & it has ruined various aspects of life for me permanently & because I feel very in tune with the spiritual choices I have made, I don’t ever want them to become another source of regret for myself or my loved ones. So because of these & many other reasons mentioned above and others I kept to myself, I have chosen to walk the path of quiet secluded Witch who will maintain her beliefs in a quiet manner. I think, this is a good place to take my leave for the day & begin creating a place to lay the grounding of what I want  & expect of my future Coven. Until next time, – Wooded Silence –

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🦥 - September 2023 - Libra

Singles:

Overall energy: Ace of Wands

How you will meet: 10 Wands

How they will treat you: 4 Swords

Long-term Potential: The Chariot rev

Oracle:

Ship 🛳️

- Cutting ties

- Moving on

- Receive what you need

- Progression & arriving

Blowing Kiss 😘

- Unconditional love

- Giving & receiving

- Fairness & love

- Affection returned

There is heat & history between you and this person, probably an ex, or it’s just on & off, you could’ve already tried repeating with them and it failed once before. Or twice, thrice 😁, etc. They come with baggage of conflict, competition, maybe they’re a huge flirt or have other options. 7 Swords could show them being a cheeky sneak, especially with Knight of Wands following, this is a fkboy/girl with a repeated history of coming around and moving on. Do they have feelings for you…it depends on if this King of Cups is them or someone else, because how they treat you is completely shutting off, not communicating, gone from your energy at all & not even considering it, assuming because you’re with someone else, or they just assume so.

If this is them, then yes, they have very deep love for you, but they don’t express it because it’s over with and no one speaks in this connection. There could be a lot of drama between you, and other people are a big part of that. Long term, there’s no movement with them, one of you is forever pissed off that the other one walked away, maybe some nasty words have been said and actions have been taken to where they’re not making any effort. Ace of Wands can show passion, but it can show anger too. If not words to each other, because there isn’t much of that, eventually one of you just gets fed up and leaves.

Messages -

Their side:

- I feel so drawn to you.

- Could be a little gay/straight

Your side:

- Everything leads me back to you.

- You make me feel ALIVE!

Signs you may be dealing with:

Libra, Scorpio, Cancer, Aquarius, Leo & Sagittarius

Couples:

Overall energy: Temperance

Current: Knight of Cups rev

Challenge: The Chariot rev

How they feel about you: 9 Cups

How you feel about them: Justice & Strength

Outcome: Knight of Swords

This could be an ex, or you’re at the end of a serious connection and at that stage where it’s just…pain, avoiding things, which creates more pain, and things aren’t easily fixed. Maybe one of you wants to reconcile and the other doesn’t. I’m getting it’s you with the issue, per the messages, because from the feelings it’s hard to tell if you’re the one feeling this way, or you just know how they feel about it, maybe just assumptions on both sides and you are mirroring those assumptions back to the other person. If it’s switched, switch it. Temperance is an energy of coasting, trying to remain peaceful, trying not to make things worse, can we reconcile differences or is this over for good, and either you’re aware you’re going to hurt this person no matter what, or they are/have hurt you already and you just expect it at this point. Devil energy, assuming the worst or being trapped in negative mindsets that need releasing, the challenge is there is zero progress towards handling the deeper issues, individually or separately. Wheel of Fortune rev shows it’s not a good time, this is a negative karmic cycle, there is toxicity of some kind between you, and until deeper issues are addressed (and you figure out what you want via messages), there’s no hope for a new beginning. It’s stuck from going anywhere.

Knight of Cups rev being the current energy can be someone trying even harder, lovebombing, wearing rose colored glasses, blinding themselves to the reality of what needs to heal, and their own deeper feelings - King of Cups. Could be dealing with a water sign, doesn’t have to be, this can just show they do love you and have deep feelings, even if they don’t see that or you clearly. How they feel is 9 Cups, The World, and 3 Swords, which seems to solely reflect on you. They see you as indulgent, worried about pleasing yourself, whether that means the end of the whole relationship or not…and maybe you already have, with 3 Swords. Doesn’t have to be a cheating story, but it can be, it can also be partying, drug use, obsessive hobbies, outside people with too much influence or say in the connection. Anything excessive that makes YOU feel good, and them feel like it’s a whole 3rd energy disrupting the connection. Essentially, they’re calling you selfish.

How you feel is completely justified in holding back from this person, you don’t want to devastate them…could be inevitable with 10 Swords trying to be avoided, but still here. You saw them as 10 Cups in the past, there’s a lot of history and a very deep bond between you. It’s like you’re leaning towards ending it, and trying not to destroy them. 5 Cups shows you aware of what you’re getting into, but they may not see it so clearly. Mid-Oct, you both are communicating finally, this is an unrequited situation, or if that’s assumed then it’s being addressed. Judgement is make or break time, someone is sick and tired of assuming, they’re bringing light (Sun) to everything that pisses them off (7 Wands) and they want answers. Yes or no. You needing to figure things out is on a short timetable with this person. I think you know that you don’t want it to continue, and you just don’t want to say it, but you both pretty much see this as done now, it’s just being dragged out & delayed. Will it be 10 Swords, probably. There is heavy shadow work someone (I assume you) is putting off, that’s the real issue the reading is pointing to, but I don’t know if anyone is paying attention to that at all - Knight of Cups rev.

Messages -

Their side:

- Light of my Life ☀️

- Similar Values

Your side:

- I have to figure out what I want.

- Forever young

Oracles -

Love Call 📞

- Expressing love

- Messages of love

- Thinking of you

- Informing you

Teddy Bear 🧸

- Interested in you

- Blooming romance

- Flirting

- Want to date

Signs you may be dealing with:

Capricorn, Scorpio, Leo, Aries, Gemini, Pisces & Libra