#this isn’t even necessarily about the sex crying thing. not Not tho

[gothprentiss]

not to be a giant demilyhead but (sound of footsteps running away very very fast)

[spikesbimbo]

Their kinks/ Turn ons

- Gao, Hirugami, Suna

Cw: Harassment, pet play furry shit, *!degradation!*, *slight* cnc

a/n: i wrote a lot for suna bc we’re the same person

18+ Minors DNI

Gao:

Doesn't have a specific one so its usually a combo of them.

And as confident as he is that doesn't necessarily mean he's also intense/rough. (tbh its gnna be rough no matter what taking his dick but he doesn't mean it, okay?)

Size kink, duh.

He also likes to see your face.

To be more specific seeing the way its twists and turns, sweat dripping down it, your baby hairs sticking to your forehead, the way your eyes can't stay open while he fucks you. 

Also lovesss kissing all over you because it gets you wet enough to take him.

-

“Shhh baby I got you, look at me” he cooed coming up to kiss your lips, lingering on them for what feels like forever. 

He started kissing down your neck, all the way down your body until he reached your core, slightly pushing his fingers in, making you let out a deprived moan. Your arms immediately reaching out for him, grabbing onto whatever they could get their hands on, them ultimately landing on his arms and wrists. 

“You gotta let go if you want me to make you feel good honey” he softly said, pausing his movement, his fingers now resting on your needy cunt. “Its gonna hurt without prep” 

You whined, not being able to voice your wants, instead just dragging his hands away, to which he let you, and scooting yourself up under him under you were pressed against his erection.

“You want it now baby?” he asked, already knowing how drenched you were just from kissing him. The effect he had on you made him gleam, just praising you could turn you into a puddle.

You quickly nodded, with him listening, steadily spreading your legs apart, inching himself inside you. After a few minutes he was almost fully in, you were a sobbing mess, already crying from overstimulation while he told you how much of a good girl you were being.

He started thrusting after you started rocking you hips against his, getting faster with each thrust. He was going insane looking down below him, you tiny little body accommodating his fat cock inside you, fuck.

 You couldn’t focus just hearing him whimper and moan “ah fuck” getting to you, hiding the embarssing look on your face with your hands, letting you feel special that you were making him feel this good.

He dragged your hands away from your face finally letting him see those oh so cute expressions you made while he was fucking you, making him get a little too excited as he fucked your harder until he came, him already doing the same to you multiple times. He went limp on your body, cum still in you, you wrapping your arms around him playing with his hair before he muttered  “fuck baby you drive me insane.”

Hirugami: 

PET PLAY

Pls, put on some animal ears and watch this boy go crazyyy. pls why do you tolerate his furry shit

You can use it to your advantage too

Let's say you did something bad, and now hes upset :(

Go up to him in your little outfit with some puppy ears on accompanied by puppy eyes and boy will forgive you right then and there.

Not without having a little fun first tho ;)

-

“Your such a little greedy slut” he said, tugging on the tail in your ass making you squirm. Your ass was still sore, littered by his handprints. “You want some one else to fuck you huh? Fuck you with me?” 

“N-no daddy.” you cried.  “j-just want you, only you” you whimpered trying to prove your innocence, and that the guy you were talking to was just your classmate and nothing more.

“Really puppy?” He said now tugging on your leash pulling you off all fours until your face was eye to eye with his crotch. Did he already know you were telling the truth since the beginning, yes. But he also loved to play with you, getting a high out of the way you were acting.

“Mhmm” you said, nuzzling your check into his thigh, ready to do whatever it takes to make him happy again.

“I only want you daddy, you’re the only one I ever think of.” You said looking up at him with your big eyes, red from crying earlier. God you were too cute, always being his good girl, trying your best to not to disappoint him.

You were such a shy thing behind closed doors, dressing in baggy pants and jackets outside but as soon as you were home all you wore was little frilly dresses, barely covering your ass, cute little aprons, tiny tops with equally tiny booty shorts; striving for his attention in the most roundabout ways.

He turned you around, still on all fours, until your ass was facing him again. Sliding his finger down your slit before shoving them inside you, making you squeal, rocking your hips back into them.

He wasn’t afraid to show you that he was wrapped around your finger, he loved taking care of you just as much as you did him. He continued fingering you, roughly thrusting his fingers in and out of you, while tugging on your tail, suddenly hitting your g spot bringing you to an unexpected orgasm. 

Your arms gave out, him grabbing you before you fell, whispering praise into your ear while dragging you into his lap, not caring about the mess all over you.

“L-love you gami.” you muttered curling your head into his arms. One of your puppy ears falling off, the other one sliding down your hair.

“Love you too puppy.” he responded, kissing your forehead, slightly laughing at the state you were in, before taking you two to the bathroom to wash you up.

Is it obvs im a gami fucker?

Suna: 

Ok bby boy is most likely into everything, but doesnt care enough/ too tired to try it out

Sooooo, you have to bring it up

And hell glady follow

But deep down he just wants to get his dick wet most of the time.

So idk bout yall but that screams vanilla sex

Just sliding it in you in the morning and rocking you back and forth>>>>> some intense ass long freaky session

But this post is about their kinks so vanilla isn't enough…. sooo restraining if def one of them that you two frequently use. 

He’ll either tie up your hands, legs, etc., with whatever he can find or he’ll use his hands.

But dont think his attitude will leave with it. *!degradation!*

-

“rin” you sleepily groaned, not wanting to be awake at the crack of dawn, his hands working their way up your shirt grabbing your boobs. “Lemme fuck” he whispers into your ear, his chest to your back with his erection poking your ass.

“Rin” you say this time, letting out more of a moan than a groan, him sliding one of his hands down your shorts, resting his fingers on your embarrassingly wet cunt, smirking at the way he made you.

“You have a wet dream bout me princess?” he teased, his breath in your ear. No you didn't have a wet dream about him, you were just… always needy. 

You'd hate to admit it, but your boyfriend was quite the sight. You always took pictures of him instead of staring, not wanting him to “bully” you any more. In fact you've even got off to his pictures, but you'd never tell a soul, especially not him.

“Fuck off.” you quickly said, slapping his hands away while scooting away from him, hiding your now flushed face.

He doesn't take that well and moves to grab your wrists above your head with one hand while shoving his fingers in your mouth with the other to get you to shut up, not wanting to hear any more shit come out of that pretty mouth of yours.

“You gonna let me fuck you right now?” he questions, cupping your jaw with the hand that still has his fingers in your mouth, already knowing he was gonna get what he wanted. 

You couldn't respond, getting embarrassed again that this was getting you so wet, you only open your legs more letting him slide in, the burning feeling still happening even though you were dripping.

“Fuck, youre so tight.” he groaned rocking back and forth in you, his hand gripping your wrists even tighter making your whine, pushing your self back into him.

“Fuck, you’re such a little slut, arent you doll?” he said catching your movement, shoving his face into your neck. “Oh that's right, you can't talk because you were being a bad little whore earlier.” he continued shoving his fingers more down your throat making you gag, tears running down your face, your cunt swallowing him whole, being on the brink of cumming.

You body freezes, locking up as he continues fucking you, your cunt tightening around him making him groaning out a mantra of your name and curses. The both of you cum, his grip loosening around your wrists setting them free and his fingers coming out of your mouth wrapping his hands around your torso, borderline hugging you. 

You two lay there, seeing that the clock still says 6:35 am, both of you simultaneously deciding that you'll clean yourselves later, and the only thing you two want to do now is go back to sleep.

[milkacchan]

Request for anon: Hi! If your still accepting requests I was wondering how would the Bakusquad react to an omega s/o that in public is rather stoic and mature but in private they can get rather submissive and gets easily embarrassed when they get smothered in affection

• Bruh girl

• yeah I got you

• this is literally me

• just even in private I'm not as submissive unless its bedroom stuff

• SO

• tbh it amazes them

• bc in public ur like • _ •

• but in private ur like 😳

• That could be bc of family trauma

• or societal standards

• and not being able to particularly process affection the right way

• you'll never know

• anyway

• these fuckers can't get anything out of you in public

• they don't necessarily try to

• they've picked up you don't particularly enjoy being part of pda in lublic

• but at first they did try to pry reactions out of you

• and they never could elicite a reaction from it

• Occasionally you'll hold someone's hand, most of the time its Bakugou or Kiri. Usually its only if you're nervous around someone or something, a typical Omega response

• You know all your mates are capable of taking care if you if things go south- But Bakugou and Kiri tend to be scarier than the rest of them

• They serve has a good prevention if anyone has their eyes set on you

• But other than that, you're pretty independent in public

• you avoid hugs or compliments

• you avoid holding hands or kisses

• your face is usually blank, unamused or just void

• It was like a whole different person

• Because behind closed doors you were much more submissive

• They had a hunch it was because once you were in a position you didn't need to be in control, you liked to relinquish it

• Like a break

• N they were fine with it

• As alphas, they had the need to provide and protect

• And if they could provide you a place where you could relax, without having to worry about everything, they were going to do so

• You were a lot more affectionate behind closed doors

• If Kaminari asked for cuddles, you'd sit smack in the middle if his lap, arms around his neck

• You'd give Mina a soft kiss before going back to whatever you were doing

• You'd run your hands through Katsuki and Eijis hair

• You'd kiss Seros cheeks while he talked

• You were more open, more vulnerable

• More willing to laugh or cry

• they like that

• but you can't recieve attention as freely as you give it

• and they caught onto it very quickly

• the first time Mina kissed you (she was the first to do so) you were quiet. Like dead silent

• and at first she thought she fucked up, maybe you weren't ready and she goes to apologize

• but then she sees you blushing

• your face is bright red and you're trying to hide behind your hair and sleeves

• and she leans in to brush your hair away and everyone in the room LOOSES it when you s q u e a k

• they're going fucking feral

• "Shut the fuck up!" You huff

"Absolutely dutley NOT!"

Another huff. "I hate you,"

"Aw, princess, don't be mad." Kirishina grins, "it was cute."

"It wasn't fucking cute."

• so they use that to their advantage in the future

• and they SMOTHER you in affect

• and LOWKEY you live for the attention

• but it's hard to accept still lmao

• your heart always beats really fast

• You tend to be a lot more calmer behind closed doors too

• a lot more willing to participate in cuddles and movie night

Nsfw-

• S u b

• it doesn't take much to make you crumble behind closed doors

• Bakugou has a 'voice' and when he uses that voice you have no choice but to listen

• He only has to say one thing and you're on your knees for him

• They have plenty of little accessories for their little omega

• I'm talking collar, ropes, leash, straps, those leather cuffs, and many more 😌

• Most dominant in order

- Bakugou

- Mina

- Kirishima

- Kaminari (he lowkey a bottom sometimes tho)

- Sero (not a bottom but he's super laid back and he prefers his sex on the more laid back side)

• Bakugou is particularly rough (tho there are times he can be gentle. Get you a man that can do both)

• He's got his fair share of kinks and he's pleased (ecstatic really) that you can keep up with them. Enjoy them even

• He LOVES ordering you around

• He also loves asking what you what just so he can see you turn into a stuttering blushy mess. Of course he already knows what you want.

• His favorite parts to kiss during sexy time is your neck and the inside if your thighs

• Mina LOVES domming you

• However she's more of a soft dog and you're less bratty with her

• Like bakugou will spit in your mouth and make you tell him how much you enjoy it, Mina will hold you close and whisper in your ear what she's going to do while she pushes you face down into the bed

• Her favorite place to kiss is your ear and down your back

• Kirishima can either be a diet dom or rough. He usually leans to the soft dom tho. However sometimes he dies snap

• it when he does its glorious

• Mating press is his go to position, usually with your legs or hand tied

• Though other times he'll have you laying on top of him, back on his chest as he fucks into you, hands on your throat or on you hips

• And he'll deadass having you screaming in release

• He's very into body praise however, and he makes sure you know that he thinks you're perfect

• His favorite place to kiss you are your lips and your neck (he enjoys leaving hickeys)

• Kaminari isn't super kinky or very dom, as I said before, sometimes he likes to bottom or sub

• He definitely has a tongue ring 😌

• yall know what that means

• He likes to have you ride him, he likes the view of chest all swollen and red, and your head tilted back in pleasure as you tried to think straight

• he likes it when you stutter and he takes the opportunity to face into you and you're begging for him

• His favorite places to kiss you are your lips and chest

• Sero is a lot more mellow than the rest of them

• He's just really laid back and he wants to make you feel good

• And honestly its a great refresher

• because as much as you like being pushed around and gagged by your Alphas, soft, mellow, vanilla sex is what you need.

• He's soft, fingers tracing your body as his gaze flickers between your face and your sopping cunt

• he loves the feeling of your legs squeezing around his head

• he likes the feeling of his hair in being pulled when he's doing a good job (totally moans when you pull his hair. He 100% has a hair kink)

• He likes feeling the vibrations of your moans or sobs

• he's definitely an overstimulator

• 100% you'll come from he tongue alone at least twice before he'll even think about fucking you

• while he's chill and more on the vanilla side, he's an absolute tease which absolutely leads into the overstimulation kink

• Once you're BEGGING for him to just hurry up and fuck you

• He'll rise from between your legs and grip your thighs, pushing them to your chest and then fucking you

• He also do be a missionary boy

• will occasionally use his tape but not super often (mostly by your request)

• He has a really good knot, top 3 in the group

• I mean they all have good knots, but his is just so satisfying

• And when you're in heat you're definitely pleading for his knot

• That brings me to another aspect

• You're heats are always interesting

• its its only been recent that you've allowed them to share heat

• But when you get heat sick- and you want nothing more than to be stuffed and breeded and used, jts good to have all those alphas

• its good too bc they can shift if some of the others get too tired

• so you're left fucked out and satisfied and they get a break when they need it :)

[moonlit-han]

stray kids’ reactions when finding out that you’re pregnant ↠ all members

genre: reaction, fluff, angst word count: 3.3k warnings: discussion of pregnancy (obviously), mention of abortion, discussion of sex & kinks, swearing, suggestive request: yes (anon) a/n: i tried to make this inclusive of anyone who can and decides to bear children. this is in no reflects stray kids in reality, as this is purely a work of fiction. also, thanks to lin for the cheesecake and twirling bits~ reminder: respect a person’s right to choose whether they will have a child or not. it’s their business and their’s alone. if you have a problem with that, then perhaps this fic isn’t for you. and, please remember to practice safe sexual habits and always, always, get continued and enthusiastic consent!

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

↠↞

bang chan

a year after getting married

the two of you had decided to have children

and had been trying to conceive for maybe 5 months

for the first couple months, you’d both been stressed and so your bodies hadn’t exactly cooperated

but just this last time you’d tried, everything had been perfect

the mood was just right, you’d moved seamlessly together, it was exactly the right time of the month

everything was as it should be

so, a few weeks later

you’d called chan into the bathroom and taken the little test

having woken up feeling a little off

…..well, not necessarily off, but just different

you thought it’d be a good idea to take the pregnancy test

you sat on chan’s lap as the test slowly revealed the information

and since you’d done this several times before,

you leaned your head back against your husband’s shoulder, waiting with bated breath

after a few minutes, chan, who’d been looking down into your lap, rubbed your belly excitedly

“oh love, you’re pregnant!” he said,

you turned in chan’s arms and began to cry from sheer relief and happiness

you’d had a little nagging worry in the back of your mind that you might not be able to get pregnant

but it was just that now: meaningless worry

you couldn’t believe it

you were going to have chan’s baby

and honestly, you couldn’t think of a better person to be a father

chan was practically vibrating

because, oh my gods, he was so excited

i mean;;;

really!!

fucking!!!

excited!!!!!

he now gets to channel all his dad energy into

actually being a dad!!!

eeeeeep!!!!!

he’d been wanting to be a father and now he was!!!!

he was on cloud 9

and so he scooped you up to carry you to the bed, gently laying you down

“i’m not going to break like fine china” you giggled, and chan just kissed your nose

for the rest of the day, chan absolutely worshipped you (and your body)

making it extremely obvious that he was even more in love with you than before

that he would love you until the end of time and beyond

lee minho

you hadn’t exactly been trying to get pregnant

but pregnant you were

you’d used protection—two kinds!

and were careful

but sometimes that’s just not enough

you noticed that your period was late

only by a couple days but your cycles were freakishly regular

so, you went and got a pregnancy test

minho was at work when you called him

(he’d had to go in on a saturday to finish something ajhskjfh)

so you really just couldn't wait to tell him

when he picked up, you didn’t waste any time

“minho, i’m pregnant”

“WHAT??!!!”

you could practically hear minho’s look of shock through the phone

“i’m pregnant, minho. can you come home early so we can talk about this?”

“yeah i’ll be home as soon as i can!!”

you just curled up on the couch with the cats, waiting for him to get home

minho was a little panicky bc neither of you had planned for this

not now, if ever

the two of you were neck-deep in your careers

and had been doing perfectly fine without children

while the idea of it was nice, you knew that, realistically, you probably wouldn’t be able to support children

it seemed like you were being tested by the universe or something

as much as you didn’t want to admit it

the decision was fairly clear to you

so when minho came home

you’d been thinking about the situation for a long time

and had already cried once

“i can’t, min,” was the first thing you said when he sat down next to you

“i know, honey. it’s okay.”

“i feel horrible but i can’t have this child. we haven’t planned for this or anything. this wasn’t supposed to happen.”

your voice was a little shaky as you laid your head against minho’s shoulder

“so, what are you thinking you’ll do?”

minho’s voice is gentle and leaves all the space in the world for whatever answer you’ll give

“i— please don’t be mad?” you’re starting to worry now

“y/n, love, it’s completely your choice. you know that. i support you whether you decide to have the child or not.”

minho wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you closer

“i don’t think i can see this through right now, min,” you said quietly

he nods, knowing what your next words will be

“i’m going to get an abortion. it’s still so early—it’ll be fine.”

minho just held you as the weight of what you’d just said crashed down

but you knew it was the right choice

there was no way you were ready to have a child

minho was the most supportive and understanding he could be

you were glad that you’d chosen him as your life partner

and, if you ever did decide to have a child, you knew that he’d make a great father

just his reaction and support in this situation alone told you that much

maybe, just maybe, you’d try in a few years

seo changbin

you and changbin were kind of neutral on the whole “having kids” thing

you weren’t trying to get pregnant

but then again, you weren’t trying not to get pregnant

plus, you’d just found a new kink of changbin’s

he’d come home one night and was ~very much in the mood~

he was just praising you over and over, and telling you exactly how he was going to make you feel incredible

then one little thing slipped out, one totally new thing

“i’m gonna fill you up so well”

but there was no denying that it was insanely hot

especially in his slightly husky voice

he’d continued, over and over, his face buried in the crook of your neck

and by the end of the night, you’d felt a bit like an eclair with too much cream in it

it wasn’t your period that had alerted you

no, not that because your period was annoyingly irregular

it was when you started to feel a bit funny in the mornings

that you decided to take a pregnancy test

you’d been shocked (well, only a little bit) to find that you were indeed pregnant

you waited until changbin got home

and then sauntered up to him quite sexily

you trailed your fingers over his chest and whisper “hey baby”

changbin looked more than a little excited and was all “just give me a minute and then i’m all yours”

and then, you just dropped the news into the conversation like a child drops a particularly large rock into a pond

knowing there will be a splash but not really caring

“i’m pregnant” *y/n grinning like a fox*

changbin spluttered and had to lean against the wall for a moment

he finally got himself back under control

changbin: “well, i guess my impregnation kink paid off”

AKLJDHAKLDJFHGAKJDFH

y/n: “fucking hell bin, you’re not supposed to say that!”

changbin: “i’m right tho…..”

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yeah okay changbin was right

and it had been a hot several weeks in the bedroom since he’d realized that kink

you definitely couldn’t complain

the two of you decided that you’re ready to be parents

and that, of course, you’d stay together

the child would have two completely devoted parents

who, when the child turned 25, would insist on telling them the story of their conception

changbin was absolutely over the moon

he couldn’t wait to cuddle you while your belly grows

bc you’d be even softer than usual

and absolutely lovely

just knowing you’re carrying his child makes him even more in love with you than he already was

hwang hyunjin

mild panic

nothing major

just thE FACT THAT HE GOT YOU PREGNANT

FUCK

F U C K

…………..

what if his mother found out

he’d definitely be dead as a doorknob, then

aNYwAy

hyunjin would be nothing but incredible

yeah, he wasn’t expecting that he’d get you pregnant

and you’d been on birth control and being very careful

he also completely expected you to not want to have the baby

and, really, he was okay with that

it was your body, after all

but when you told him that you were pregnant

and that you wanted to have the baby

he immediately went into full-on support mode

telling you he’d never, ever, leave you

and that he’d always be there for the kid, too

he snuggled you for hours

(literally some of the best snuggling you’d ever had)

just talking about how you’d be parents

and what color you should paint the child’s room

hyunjin voted for peach, since it’s a warm color that would both brighten the room and calm the little one

you also talked about whether, now that you were pregnant, you wanted to get married

“while i’d be heartbroken if i couldn’t marry you, y/n, i understand if you don’t want to.”

you’d immediately shot down that idea

“nope, i’m marrying you, hwang hyunjin. you’re not getting out of that one so easily!”

hyunjin was extremely relieved, since all he’d wanted to do since you’d started dating was marry you

and now he was going to!!!!

you’d kissed him thoroughly and were well on your way to doing more

when hyunjjin remembered that he should probably tell his mother that

a) he was getting married

and b) he was going to be a father

you promised to tell your parents, too

everyone was surprised, but not too surprised

your mother actually said she’d been waiting for one of those two things to happen so the two of you would just get it together and be together for the rest of your lives

(ajfgakjdfghalkj moooooooom;;;;; )

you decided to have the wedding after the baby was born

after all, you were committed to each other

and there was no reason to think otherwise

all you could think of as you lay in bed that night was how your child would definitely be taller than you by the time they were twelve

as hyunjin lay beside you, all he could think of was that the baby would have your smile

he was sure of it

and he knew that everything would be okay

as long as he kept you smiling

han jisung

jisung’s immediate response was:

“oh my god, we need cheesecake to celebrate!!!”

and proceeded to drag you out the door to buy cheesecake

he’d be just as excited as chan

and had definitely been thinking about what it’d be like to have kids with you

so when you’d told him you were pregnant

jisung was ecstatic

he’d already been thinking about names

and wasted no time in telling them to you

the day after you told him

you spent an entire day in bed, just talking about what you’d name your child

how you wanted to raise them

what you’d like to be called as parents

if there were things that you were completely against in parenting, you’d discuss those, too

aaaand after a particularly lovely morning in bed,

jisung just kinda mumbled to you

“baby, you’re gonna be so hot”

“ji what’re you talking about?? i’m not already hot?“

“you’re gonna be even hotter. when you’re showing. like, holy fuck!! just knowing you’re pregnant with my kid is the hottest thing ever. you’re gonna be an amazing parent—it’s all you! there wasn’t, um, much for me to do…”

“hmmm, enjoy it while it lasts, because i’m gonna have dark circles under my eyes for the next 10 years”

“you’ll still be hot as fuck, though, baby”

AKFJLHALKDFHSJKFH

he’s just really sweet and excited hhhhhh

jisung would also try to learn everything he could to support you

and make sure that you and the baby stay safe

oh and then that one time you went to the obstetrician for a routine check early on

and welp you’re having twins

jisung kind of freaked out

but mainly around his friends

to you, he was nothing but excited and totally ready to take on the challenge of raising two kids at once

yikes

but he would be determined to do everything right for the kids

and would be such a fun and loving father

lee felix

felix hadn’t said anything about it to you before

but once you’d gotten married

he’d really wanted to have kids

felix, though, being a sweetie, hadn’t brought it up because he wanted you to have full choice over whether you’d have kids

but he’d secretly hoped that you’d decide that having kids with him was what you wanted

so when you told him that you wanted to go off birth control

bc you thought it was time the two of you should start a family

felix felt like it was his lucky day

when you told him you’d waited long enough for the birth control not to affect you

felix had texted your friends, who were supposed to meet you for dinner, that something unavoidable and important had come up

and that you had to cancel

then, he’d pulled you into the bedroom and you hadn’t gotten any sleep

two months later, you told felix that you were, indeed, pregnant

he picked you up and spun you around, squeezing you so tight!!

and then put you down quickly, a look of horror on his face

“what if i just hurt you and,,,,the baby,,,,”

“felix it doesn’t work like that, you know that”

“true, sorry. just paranoid.

BUT OH MY GOD WE’RE HAVING A BABY!!!!!”

he kissed you so deeply that you thought he must have some merman in him

no normal human could go without proper breath that long

felix then called every single one of his friends and family to tell them the good news

he called chan twice by accident

and chan just acted like he’d never heard the news before

(chan texted you shortly thereafter, wondering if felix was okay)

felix was all smiles for weeks after,

telling anyone and everyone that he was going to be a father

he’d leave little post-its around for you with baby names

or would add random things to the shopping list, just to see if it was something you were craving

on more than one occasion, your cravings found new and surprisingly delicious food combinations that felix managed to create proper recipes for

once the baby was born,

felix’s favorite thing was to fall asleep with the baby on his chest

he’d sing soft lullabies to them, usually putting you to sleep, too

all he wanted to do was show both of you all the love in the world

kim seungmin

you’d called seungmin a month after a surprisingly wild night together

you’d been seeing each other off and on

just casually, nothing serious

mainly just physical but with a nice friendship

it was the perfect thing for two graduate students who sometimes needed to take the edge off

but now he—

fuck

he’d gotten you pregnant

he couldn’t believe it, especially since the two of you were always careful

you sounded so bewildered over the phone

and seungmin insisted that you meet up to talk about it

when he saw you, he immediately wrapped you in the tightest embrace possible

and just whispered “i’m sorry” over and over again

then, you had a long conversation about next steps

you wanted to have the baby,

since you’d wanted to have a child someday

and thought, seeing as you could actually provide for the child, you were fine with being pregnant

but you also wanted seungmin to be in the child’s life

he wholeheartedly agreed

and then…

and then you suggested actually dating

seungmin, who’d “caught” feelings months ago, was overjoyed

he was all for becoming a couple

and being there for you and the child in all ways he could

he began by asking you out on a date

and all you could do was laugh

bc here he was, the man who’d gotten you pregnant, asking you on a date

it was mildly ridiculous

but you said yes to him faster than you’d said yes to anything else before

seungmin researched the things pregnant people should and shouldn’t do

and then made sure not to suggest any of those things for dates

oh and he always had a little note in his wallet with the foods you shouldn’t eat, too

he just wanted the best for you

and completely spoiled you

seungmin felt a little guilty, as if he’d somehow tricked you into dating him

but you insisted that it was nothing like that

you truly wanted to be with him

and had, honestly, just been waiting for a chance to broach the subject

even after you decided to be life partners

and even after the baby was born

seungmin still felt amazed that he’d been lucky enough to end up with you

you were amazing

and the baby had your laugh,

which only made his world all that more brighter

yang jeongin

jeongin absolutely smothered you in kisses when you told him

it was as if he wanted to show his purest self

totally and unashamedly in love

and intent on showing it at all times

he’d carried you to your bedroom and told you to just rest

you’d giggled, insisting that you didn’t have to be bedridden yet

meanwhile, he’d gone to the kitchen and made you breakfast

he was determined to do everything for you

after all, another life was growing inside you

it was the least he could do

later that day, he started dismantling his office so it could be the child’s room

and insisted on going out and buying you every single piece of maternity clothing you could ever want

he researched all the right foods for you to eat while pregnant

and make sure to do a lead test on the paint in your slightly older home

(it was all okay, but he just wanted to check!)

jeongin was so, so excited that he was having a child with you

he couldn’t stop talking about it when you went to a small get-together of friends

he definitely told all his co-workers

and was just glowing with pride

jeongin had a list as long as his forearm of all the different baby names he loved

and he hoped that you would want more than one child

he was incredibly excited for the whole experience of being a father

after being the youngest in his friend group and being babied so much

he wanted to show that he could be responsible and mature

(even though he was already 34 years old and mature enough)

sometimes he acted a little silly and giddy

but who could blame him?!

bc after months of careful planning and attempts

you were pregnant!

and jeongin couldn’t be happier

he would show you and the child (or children!)

that life was sweeter than ambrosia

and that he’d love you with his whole being

completely and utterly, as deeply as he could

[bratkook]

clairvoyant. (m) part ten.

 masterlist

pairing: jungkook x reader , taehyung x reader word count: 21.3k genre: smut, angst, fluff warnings: mentions of violence (jungkook gets decked), a series of very unfortunate events happen to jungkook i’m sorry lol, its cute at the end tho, penetrative sex, nothing too crazy  author’s note: hi i know this is like very overdue...but the writers block was gnarly with this chapter. nonetheless it’s here!! i’m gonna go bury my head under sand now that this is finished bc i can’t believe i actually finished this story...anyways i hope you enjoyed it, pls let me know what you think of the series! byeee ily

“Hey,” Jimin snaps his fingers in front of Jungkook’s face, only making the boys nose crinkle up but otherwise not stirring him from his slumber. Hazy dreams consisting of the potential child that could have been, wrapped up in a white blanket, cloud his mind too much to hear Jimin’s attempt to wake up.

“Wakey wakey.” He pats your cheeks this time, his fingers pressing into your face and squishing your cheeks until your lips are puckered out. On the flip side you’re too tired out to dream, your mind playing a nice little montage of pure white noise, showcasing that your brain was currently out of service.

To be fair, Jimin had given the two of you more than enough time to wake up on your own terms but he had been sitting in his own home bored beyond belief while you two snoozed away and honestly, neither of you looked comfortable.

Jungkook was slouched into the couch, his butt near the edge while his head hung forward, you were contorted into a pretzel with your limbs sprawled in unnatural positions. Your head still lay resting on Jungkook’s lap, your neck tilting up at an angle that bordered on painful but your face looked at ease while Jimin squished it.

His fingers move from squishing your cheeks to pinching your nose because desperate times called for desperate measures.

He counts slowly and before he gets to nine, you let out a strangled gasp, your eyes shooting open as you aggressively swat in front of you, smacking Jimin’s hands off of your face as your lungs search for oxygen.

You’re half asleep still, not entirely sure what happened so when Jimin stares at you innocently, a fake look of concern on his face, you don’t catch on to his bullshit when he asks whats wrong.

“Jimin?” You mumble out, rubbing at your eyes weakly as you push yourself up into a sitting position. The muscles in your neck ache considering you had slept half lifted up on Jungkook’s thighs. Your hand digs into the still sleeping boy as you push up, more specifically his crotch, the pressure causing him to groan before his own eyes are fluttering open.

“What’s going on?” He rasps out, his face screwed up while he tries to blink the sleep away, the throbbing pain in his crotch being momentarily forgotten.

“Wow, so weird that you two woke up at the same time. An absolute mystery.” Jimin shrugs, an unconvincing smile on his plump lips, the piercing you gave him months ago glimmering at the action. “But now that you’re up, anyone want breakfast?”

As you slowly come to, the dull ache in your head reminds you of the bottle of wine you and Jungkook downed last night, and with that comes the feeling of relief once more.

Jungkook on the other hand had focused his blurry sight on the last remaining test still on the coffee table. The two of you had celebrated last night but there was still the slim, slim, chance that those two tests were duds. Jungkook liked to think he had some good karma saved up but the chain of events of the last few weeks had proven him otherwise. Now he was partially convinced that someone of a higher power had it out for him, but he would pray to whoever would listen to give him another stroke of luck with this.

He raises one weak hand, finger pointing at the cardboard box in a way that resembles a horror movie and when you and Jimin follow the line and you sigh as you realize it was in fact a horror movie, “Right, fuck. It’s fine, it’ll be fine.”

When your eyes look to Jimin, a look in them making it clear that he had to say some comforting words right now, and he can only muster up a pathetic, “Right.”

Jungkook chuckles under his breath when you scoff, reaching out with his hand to rest on your shoulder to comfort you, “Yeah it’ll be fine, do you uh–“ he pauses slightly, not wanting to push his luck once more, “do you want me to go with you again?”

Jimin is merely an observer, his butt rested on his coffee table as his eyes flicker back and forth between you two, acting like shy teenagers as if Jungkook hadn’t blown his load in you, resulting in the pregnancy test drama of last night. 

Cute.

“No, I think i’ll be fine alone this time.” You turn to fully face him for the first time this morning and when you smile at him Jungkook smiles back. His eyes are puffy and his hair is ruffled up on one side and completely flat on the other, in return, you still have traces on your face of whatever makeup you hadn’t cried off, your hair tangled together at the side of your head. The two of you look like absolute messes but theres a small glow of happiness around the two of you.

“Im thinking eggs & bacon, do we agree?” Jimin speaks up, breaking the small staring match you two had going. He would’ve let you continue, really he loved watching the lovey dovey heart eyes or whatever, but his stomach was growling and the way you two are acting along with that has the tiniest twinge of nausea curling in his gut.

“Do you have hash browns?”

Jimin can only scoff, pulling out his phone to add as much hash browns as Jungkook’s heart desired, “Baby, its uber eats I can get you all the hash browns you want.” He reaches out and pats his cheek gently, “Don’t you worry.”

When Jungkook places a hand over his chest in dramatics, you reach over and grab the remaining test, wanting to leave the bromance swirling in the air. As your hands curl around the cardboard the initial nerves and pure panic you felt last night was missing, you had been reassured twice that you weren’t and you were blocking out the fact that todays test could be different.

You weren’t going to be a mother. Jungkook wasn’t going to be a father.

As you walk over to the bathroom Jimin watches you from the corner of his eyes as he fills out the order on his phone, he knew your breakfast favorites so he didn’t have the need to ask you.

The second he deems you far away enough his eyes look up at Jungkook and the boy looks nervous, his teeth nibbling on his bottom lip as his eyes bounce from staring at Jimin’s phone to the now closed bathroom door. It’s evident that Jungkook is no longer nervous about the idea of you being with child, no his nerves were on royally fucking this up a second time, because thats apparently what he did best.

Jungkook jumps slightly when Jimin places his hand on his bouncing knee, a reassuring smile on his face as he stares at him, “Relax Thumper, just don’t be an idiot and you’ll be fine.”

The look Jungkook throws his way has Jimin laughing, don’t be an idiot right like he had done such a good job before.

“Right, sorry. Just–“ he sighs and completes the order on the phone, “be honest with her man. I know you mean well but don’t be naive enough to think all you need to do is bat your eyes at her and she’s yours.”

In theory, Jungkook knows this, he knows that just because you two had cleared the air last night didn’t necessarily mean everything was golden now. He wanted to properly make amends, properly confess to the way he was feeling after having it bottled down and shoved so far down his throat he was surprised he could even speak. But he didn’t really want to do it over breakfast while Jimin watched the entire exchange go down like his favorite movie.

When you exit the bathroom with a giant smile at being confirmed once again that you were not pregnant, he can’t even get himself to match your cheers of glee as you clap, Jimin standing up and joining in on your frolicking, the two of you twirling around like school children playing games.

The only thing on Jungkook’s mind is last night, how thanks to the wine you were so quick to deny being with Taehyung even though it was half true, telling him he’s on thin ice but somewhat forgiven. He’s absolutely stumped on what is and what isn’t okay in terms of acting.

But the more he thinks of it the more he feels queasy, so he forces the thought away, focusing instead on the breakfast placed in front of him by Jimin, hoping the hash browns he had asked for were enough to settle his nerves.

You take note of Jungkook’s behavior, how he’s quiet as he pushes his food around with his fork, lost in his mind while you and Jimin joked around sat at his dining table. His ears only tune in near the end once Jimin states he has to leave.

“Wait why?” Jungkook mumbles out, pushing his half finished breakfast away from him as he stares at Jimin, already stood up and tossing the containers away.

“Damage control, my parents are pretty pissed we ditched their event so I need to go make amends before they cut me off.” He mimics a scissor cutting motion with his fingers, trying to make light of the situation but you can only cringe at his words, covering your face with your palms as you remember the slight scene you had caused.

You had surely did it now, crying in the hallway of some fancy event and only solidifying the hatred you knew his mom had for you.

“Im sorry.” You mumble behind your hands, dragging them down your face as you frown.

Jimin waves you off with a roll of his eyes, slipping on his leather jacket and pulling out his phone, “Don’t be, it’ll be fine. You guys can stay here if you want to.”

You sigh and begin cleaning up your mess as well, “No, I think I’ve used up my allotted time for refuge for the entire week.” The slight guilt you felt from last night not allowing you to overstay your welcome even though you knew that there was no such thing with him but Jimin had done enough for you already, you couldn’t hide in his apartment all day.

“Yeah, I should probably go too.” Jungkook speaks up, if you were leaving he wanted to go with you, desperately wanting some alone time when neither of you were inebriated to properly talk.

As you say your goodbyes and order the uber Jungkook’s nerves take over once more, standing in relative silence on the sidewalk as you wait for the car. He can see the way you stare at him in curiosity, your hands clasped in front of you as you wonder what was clouding his mind so much to turn him into this.

It only gets worse when you get into the car, and once he sees the campus approaching in the distance he feels that same anxiety seize his throat, wrapping around his tongue and weighing it down. His window of opportunity was minimizing, slowly slipping out of his grasp because he was too tongue tied, too nervous to say the wrong thing again.

It’s not until you two step out and onto the pathway leading towards the center of campus that he forces his mouth to start moving, “Wait–“ he practically chokes out, his tongue remembering how to form words after being held captive by his nerves.

He doesn’t even notice he had reached out and grabbed onto your shoulder in an attempt to stop you from walking away after saying goodbye. A curious smile is on your lips as you stare at his hand and follow it up to his face, the typical Jungkook look on it that softens you up.

When you raise your brow up in question he forces himself to sputter out the rest of his sentence, “Do you maybe want a coffee, you know, for old times sake?”

He finally feels his body relax when the smile doesn’t leave your face, a tiny nod of your head easing his nerves further, “Sure, I promise not to toss it this time.”

Jungkook matches your smile, “Deal.”

He shoves his hands into his jean pockets, inching away from you backwards towards the cafe, a tiny grin on his face as he motions you over with a flick of his head. He continues to step away, his strides getting wider when you start to follow him, a teasing lift of his lips that only increases when he speeds up, a laugh spilling out of him when he sees you run after him to catch up.

Your arm hooks around his when you reach him, a similar laugh leaving you when he knocks his hip in to yours, the two of you walking in calm silence up the path. Its still relatively early in the day, and considering it’s a Sunday the majority of students are still in bed nursing hangovers from the night before so everything around you seems untouched. The colored leaves on the floor laying in piles along the stoned path, the occasional squirrel shooting past in a haste to get to the next tree, not at all what you’re used to seeing on campus.

Its such a stark contrast from the chaotic events of last night, the both of you getting a chance to actually breathe, the small sense of normalcy returning and you didn’t realize how much you missed it until this moment, how much you missed just being around Jungkook in a casual setting.

Unfortunately that tiny taste of serenity doesn’t last for long, the minute the two of you step into the cafe, your arm still locked around Jungkook’s, you feel his body tense up instantly. His eyes lock onto Jisoo’s as she’s stood behind the counter, her lips pulled together tightly as she tries her best to keep a neutral face for the sake of her job, but when she sees the way your arm is holding onto his she can’t control the way her brows pinch on her forehead.

“Oh man.” Jungkook groans, stepping further into the building and you have enough sense to unhook your arm to prevent the situation from taking a turn for the worst.

“Hi, welcome to Java Brew, what can I get you.” She speaks through gritted teeth, a forced smile on her face as she glances at Jungkook before looking directly at you. She looks like she wants to combust, maybe have the floor swallow her whole while taking one of you with her.

Neither of you were on her good side, with Jungkook rejecting her advances and you verbally coming to his rescue and calling her out in this exact shop, it’s not a shock when the same coworker as last time swoops in as he senses the tension and tells her to go to the back.

When she enters the employee back room, slamming the door and having it echo in the empty cafe the other worker sends you an apologetic look, “Sorry, she’s not having a good day. What can I get you?”

Jungkook feels his body relax now that there wasn’t a stare down happening, being able to list out both of your orders and paying with ease, the two of you slowly making your way to the furthest booth from the counter, wanting to remain hidden if Jisoo came back out.

By the time your drinks are brought to you Jungkook has built up enough courage to do what he wanted to do. His hands cup his drink cautiously, his lips rolling together as he watches you take a small sip of your own. It was now or never and realistically the worst that could happen was flat out rejection and he was willing to accept that, especially after everything that had transpired.

“Hey Y/N,” he softly speaks out, “look I know we barely got on okay terms last night but I need to be honest with you.”

Your eyebrows raise slightly at his words, setting your cup back down as you stare at him inquisitively, “Oh, honesty? Thats a big change from before, sure Jungkook.”

He knows your words are teasing, especially with the way you grin at him, a roll of his eyes being sent your way as his mind tries to wrap around the words he wants to say.

“I’m just going to go ahead and say everything I wanted to say that one morning.” His voice is stern, not towards you, almost to himself in an attempt to prevent him from chickening out.

“Okay.” Is your only response, taking another sip of your drink as he lets out a tiny breath of air.

“Okay.” He repeats, pursing his lips, “First off, I want to thank you, for being a good friend to me even when I clearly didn’t deserve it, for going out of your way and offering to help my inexperienced ass out.”

As much as you want to chime in with a teasing joke you swallow it down, seeing just how much he was struggling to find the right words.

“It probably doesn’t seem like much to you because thats just the kind of person you are so maybe you don’t notice it, but you’ve helped me bring out a side of myself that I’ve always wanted to show.”

He takes a second to breathe, sneaking a small glance at you and seeing a tiny smile on your face as you wait patiently, “I know I have moments where I’m still stuck in my shell but more often than not the moments I have where I feel like the person I want to be, its when I’m around you. And after everything that happened I’m so–“

The word dies on the way out when he watches as your eyes narrow at him and he already knows why, the apology hanging off his tongue being the culprit, something you told him you didn’t want to hear. So Jungkook shoves it back, stomping it down his throat with cleated shoes to prevent it from ever coming back up.

With a slight clear of his throat he continues like it never happened, “I don’t want to lie to myself or you anymore, the crush I have on you is still here, growing even and I’ve been wanting to ask you this for weeks now. If you think you feel anything for me, even the slightest bit, can I please take you out on a date. A proper one.”

Its starts as a flutter in your gut, the sensation spreading until the warmth in your cheeks gives away to how you’re feeling. Jungkook’s confession made you feel the way you thought it would, the nervous glint in his eyes but determination set in his tone had words of acceptance itching to fall from your tongue.

Thats when the flashes of Taehyung’s words ring in your ear, talk of going on dates and figuring out feelings echoing inside your mind. Jungkook can see your inner turmoil, your eyebrows creasing your forehead, your lips pursed in a way that shows him you’re holding back and he knows rejections coming. He can just feel it in his bones, a sad smile on his face as he just waits for you to say it.

“Oh Jungkook,” you sigh almost solemnly, a slight frown tugging down your lips as you stare at him, “had you told me this the morning of I would’ve said yes, instantly. I know I’m not officially with Taehyung but we’re kind of in the middle of figuring it out and I don’t think it’d be fair for anyones feelings if I try to juggle the both of you.”

It was the truth, as much as you knew where your feelings lied with both of them, you owed it to Taehyung to be honest with him, especially after everything he had done to try to prove his feelings. Although the two of you were navigating this rather blindly, jumping ship just because Jungkook had decided to finally own up to his emotions seemed too impulsive even for you, no matter how much you wanted to.

Jungkook understood, you didn’t owe him anything, but at least now he had that weight lifted off of his shoulders. Being able to speak his truth without letting other people’s off handed comments influence him made a small sense of pride bloom inside of him.

This wouldn’t stop Jungkook from nurturing the seed of a crush he had, now blossomed into the prettiest petals, it didn’t matter how much space it took in his chest. If and when things with you and Taehyung moved forward or fizzled out he’d like to think that you and him would remain okay regardless. That was good enough for him.

So as he walks you back to your dorm he doesn’t feel the sting of rejection he anticipated, being able to joke and talk to you like he used to, no longer worried about looking into your eyes because he knew the fire you had in them from before was long gone. He lets himself smile along to the way you laugh at a stupid joke he had told, his eyes crinkling up as he sees how your head drops forward as your laughter fills the air.

It was the obvious heart eyes he was currently sporting that allowed any onlookers to know just how he felt, and unfortunately for Jungkook one of those onlookers just so happens to be Kim Taehyung.

That streak of bad luck Jungkook thought was cleared after this morning seems to make a u-turn and head right back his way, full speed, with no intention of breaking.

Whoever must be in charge of Jungkook’s timeline of events must be cackling from up above when they see Taehyung glance up from his phone by chance. He was currently perched on one of the benches outside of your dorms, nerves causing him to overthink everything as he scrolled through his phone. 

You hadn’t responded to any of his texts last night, and neither had Jimin, so he had assumed the worst. He found himself stalking your socials and his friends’, checked the morning news for anything and then forced himself to calm down because the rational side of his brain told him that odds were you were drunk off your ass and asleep at Jimin’s.

The very last thing he expected to see was you walking up to your building, a giddy smile on your face, with Jungkook right beside you and those dumb heart eyes on his.

Taehyung is somewhat regretting not having gone up to your room to wait if you’d show up because the minute he sees Jungkook he’s seeing red. It’s almost a blessing that you or Jungkook don’t see the way he stands up from the bench and swoops in, firmly pressing his hands against Jungkook’s chest and shoving him a little harder than he might have intended.

Jungkook goes from looking at you to the world spinning around until his back collides with the floor in a nasty thud, the air leaving his lungs in a whoosh, the burning feeling of being winded only leaving him more confused as he lays on the floor.

“Oh my god!” Your voice sounds warped from the way his blood pounds in his ears, your head whipping to the side when you see the way Jungkook gets tackled in a blur.

Taehyung says nothing as he hops onto the boy with a grunt, straddling his chest and swinging once, his fist colliding with Jungkook’s jaw, his knuckles swiping his nose, leaving a burning trail in its wake. Instantly Jungkook knows it broke skin, with the coppery taste of blood filling his mouth and the warmth of it dripping down his nose it’s not hard to tell.

“Didn’t I tell you to stay the fuck away?” Is all Taehyung snarls out, no longer fighting, one punch was enough to get his point across. Instead he just rests his weight on Jungkook’s stomach, his jean clad knees digging into the concrete. 

The anger he feels slowly starts to fizzle out until his tunnel vision widens and he realizes Jungkook is merely laying underneath him without saying a word, a dazed look on his face from just having been pummeled into the ground.

“Are you kidding me?” You shout out, your brows pinched together as you move to stand behind him, scooping your hands under his arms and hauling his body off the freshman with all your strength.

Taehyung doesn’t resist, letting you stand him up and away while Jungkook groans on the floor, having to shake his head slightly to try to see straight.

He hadn’t even realized who had been the attacker until Taehyung spoke, this just confirmed that Jungkook would have definitely not been able to stand his ground against him if he was actually getting jumped. Jungkook might have the up on him in terms of muscle and strength but where Taehyung lacked in muscle he made up is quickness, along with pure determination and rage on his side, and that always won.

“Fuck..” Jungkook wipes at his face, effectively smearing the blood around and making it worse, he pulls his fingers away from his face and see the mess on them. At least this time the shirt he was wearing was black.

“Taehyung,” you snap, twirling him around in your grasp and having to cup his face to get him to stare at you since he kept glaring at Jungkook, “what the hell was that for?”

His eyes immediately soften when he stares at you, even though you look absolutely livid his heart still melts at the way your nose scrunched up as you glared at him, anger swirling around in your eyes.

“Honestly, just had to get that out of my system.” He shrugs like its no big deal and has the audacity to try to go in for a kiss as if he hadn’t just plowed Jungkook down like a wrestling match. His eyes open up once his lips meet air when you dodge it and he frowns, “What?”

When you say nothing he sighs in defeat, eyes moving back over to Jungkook when the boy groans to life and starts to haul himself up, his hand coming to cradle his jaw, turning his head to spit out the blood in his mouth in a grimace.

“Fair, I think I’ve had that coming.” Jungkook speaks with a wince when his fingers touch his nose, thankful that his track record hadn’t resulted in it breaking, yet.

Taehyung motions out with his arm to prove his point and you sigh when you look back at him, seeing the innocent look on his face, “Is he bothering you?”

“Bothering me? What?”

“Yeah,” he leans in closer as Jungkook finally stands up, “I mean, why else is he with you...” he trails off, curiously turning his head to stare at Jungkook. The younger boy was a shit liar and pretender, all it took was one sharp stare for the guilt to be written all over his face. Taehyung could see that Jungkook had done something, what it was though he had yet to find out.

As much as you didn’t want to tell Taehyung about last night you felt like you owed him that much since you were loosely dating. However, you really didn’t want to tell him out in public after he had knocked Jungkook onto his ass once already.

“Its a long story, I’ll tell you inside.”

Taehyung wasn’t this alpha male that wanted to have a claim over you, he had just set Jungkook straight for the disrespect, but the slight guilt was growing inside of him when he sees the defeated look on the younger boy’s face. He was unaware that you and him had talked it out briefly so when he saw him strutting up with you after he had told him to stay away it seemed like he was pushing his luck. As he looks around and sees the tiny crowd that had gathered to watch what they thought would be a beat down he realizes he might have crossed a line.

Jungkook was currently using Jimin’s borrowed shirt to wipe the blood off his face, his arm waving you off when he saw the look of concern on it, “Really, I’m fine. I don’t blame him.”

“I’m sorry Kook.” You weakly respond, stepping towards him to make sure he was okay but he stops you, a shake of his head as he looks at Taehyung again. The last thing he needed was Taehyung swinging a second time because you had checked up on him.

When he wipes at his nose once more he hisses when he feels the burn of whatever skin had broken open, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you in class.” He doesn’t wait for a response, feeling a tiny bit of embarrassment at just being pummeled in front of you after you had a decent night, all things considered, and a pretty nice morning. Somehow the morning after never seemed to work in his favor.

You watch as Jungkook’s silhouette gets smaller in the distance, Taehyung finally relaxing when he can no longer see him, turning to you and taking the lead to walk into your dorm.

He wraps his arms around you, resting his chin on your head as you shuffle inside, his arms squeezing you until you’re laughing instead of trying to push him away, succeeding in momentarily distracting you of the small beating he had done. Joy just gives you a wave as you two walk on by, your arms digging into Taehyung’s side to get him to release you since his hold had become crushing.

Tae just laughs when you shove him away forcefully, his back hitting the side of the elevator as you gasp for air dramatically, “Jesus, you trying to strangle me?”

“Aren’t you into that?”

You scoff and press the elevator button for the second floor, “Usually not like that.”

He steps towards you again with a goofy smile, his large palm spreading open as he guides it to your throat like he knew you liked, “Oh, baby don’t worry I know how to do that.” He gingerly wraps it around you, pressing into your skin with a smirk on his face when your mouth drops open slightly in shock at the audacity he had.

He steps closer to you, his hand still on your throat as he looks down at you. But as he leans down, just about to press his lips to yours its never comes, your hand pulls his palm away from your neck as you step further away from him, “You think I’m gonna kiss you after that?” You question, your eyes narrowing at him and he gulps, not knowing if you were being serious or not but the elevator dings, the door sliding open.

“C’mon.” You shrug, stepping out of the elevator and waving him towards you. His long strides match yours, grabbing your hand and tugging you along in an attempt to lighten the mood. Success ringing in his head once more when he hears you giggling softly as you stumble behind him, but he only tugs you faster until you’re forced to keep up. It’s a playful race to your room, just for the sake of making a challenge out of it but Taehyung’s legs are too long and you’re barely able to keep up with his pace as he drags you along chaotically.

“You’re like fucking bambi.” Taehyung laughs out as you collide with his back when he reaches your door and stops abruptly.

“Dude, you’re hauling my ass around.” You swat at him before pulling out your room key, he takes it from your hand and slides it into the compartment until your door clicks open.

He’s expecting to walk in and see your room mate knocked out on her side but its spotless, her sheets neatly folded and the ever present sticky note pressed against your desk, announcing that she’d be gone most of the day cramming with her study group. You could picture Wendy now, a big gulp size of coffee in front of her and her jumbo framed glasses sitting on her face as she scrambles through her notes.

“So,” you start, facing Taehyung as he makes himself beyond comfortable on your bed, “you want to go ahead and tell me why the hell you decided to tackle Jungkook down like a wrestling match?”

Taehyung scoffs in disbelief, “You wanna tell me why you guys were chillin together all buddy buddy when you were icing him out just yesterday?”

“Not really.” You mutter out under your breath, setting your bag on top of your desk and slipping out of your shoes. You knew you had to tell him though, if things seriously progressed with Taehyung you’d feel guilty having never told him what transpired in the early stages of this.

“Does this require me tackling him down again?” He implores, a stupid grin on his face.

“No, definitely not. Please don’t ever do that again, need I remind you you’re not exactly on the administrations good graces, if you get caught fighting you’ll be kicked out Taehyung.”

He waves you off without a care, if Taehyung was kicked out it would be a blessing in disguise.

“I won’t, now can you tell me whats up? You look like you wanna barf.”

A laugh reaches his ears as you shuffle onto the bed with him, choosing to face him fully as you sat with your back towards the end of your bed.

“You should’ve seen me last night.”

His eyes widen up, a smile accompanying it, “Oh my god, did you and Jimin get shit faced? Did you finally destroy the stupid ice sculpture they always have?” Taehyung’s mind is already going into overdrive as he tries to mentally calculate the amount of money in damages you and Jimin could have theoretically caused but then he pauses. 

How did Jungkook fit into this?

“I wish we got shit faced.” Your voice lowers in tone, your fingers deciding to pluck at the exposed thread on your comforter, “We kind of had to leave early because I was having a panic attack.”

Taehyung just tilts his head in curiosity, choosing to remain silent because he still didn’t know how Jungkook came into the picture, how you having a panic attack at Jimin’s parents event resulted in you and Jungkook getting coffee this morning. It all seemed like a riddle and Taehyung really didn’t want to have to guess his was through it.

“I kind of thought I was pregnant last night.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me anything, should I go get a test?” The look on your face shuts him up entirely once more, the realization hitting him at once when he understands. It all makes sense now, Jungkook slotting into the missing piece, “Oh...it was?”

“Jungkook’s yeah.”

Its quiet for a moment, Taehyung briefly wondering if you were in fact pregnant with his room mates child and thats why you two had decided to make amends. His gaze lands on your stomach, wishing he could see through the fabric of your shirt.

“Are you?”

Your eyes practically bulge out when you look up at him, “No! No, I’m not.”

Taehyung joins in on your nervous laughter, finally feeling like he could breathe,  “Poor kid,” he jokes, his hand running through his hair as he laughs, “I bet he was in a hurry to tell you it wasn’t his or something huh?”

A frown replaces the smile on your lips and Taehyung catches it right away, the scrunch in your brows as you almost look offended by his comment, “No actually. He was very supportive, he was ready to replan his entire life and let me have the baby if thats what I wanted.”

Taehyung hadn’t been expecting that, he hadn’t thought the boy who had pretended you two weren’t friends anymore would be ready to become a dad after one night together. Hell Taehyung hadn’t been ready to become a dad the last time you had a pregnancy scare, he wasn’t sure he ever would be ready.

“Are you guys relieved then or?” He couldn’t gauge the tone, usually one would be ecstatic over not being pregnant but you just seemed nonchalant about it all. You sat on your bed like you had so much more you had to say and it makes him a little nervous.

“Of course we are, I’m not ready to be a mom just yet and Jungkook, as supportive as he was, isn’t ready for a kid either. We weren’t even talking before last night so can you imagine?” You try to tease but the tone drops too much for him to play along because he knows what he has to do.

Taehyung just studies your face for a minute, the way you’re refusing to look into his eyes as you talk to him. He knows more went on between you and Jungkook, a pregnancy scare was not the sole reason you two were walking back to campus with the biggest smiles on your faces.

He knew of Jungkook’s crush on you and it seemed like you knew now too, the guilty expression on his face couldn’t be hidden even behind the small trails of blood and it spelled it out for him.

“Can I ask you something?” Taehyung whispers out, waiting until you finally look into his eyes and nod before speaking again, “If Jungkook hadn’t done what he did after Halloween, would this,” he motions between you two, “be a thing?”

“Thats not fair to ask.” You defend, a blank look on your face.

“Yes it is Y/N.”

“No it’s not Taehyung, if that wouldn’t have happened with Jungkook you wouldn’t have confessed and you know that.”

He sighs, sitting up higher on your bed and reaching for your hands gently, “But would you have wanted me to? I remember the night of the party after it all happened Y/N, the way you were acting wasn’t just because Jungkook stopped being a friend.”

“Its–“

“No, it’s fine Y/N. I know you’ve liked Jungkook for a while now, you can admit it. Please admit it, because acting like you don’t isn’t helping anyone.” He pauses to take a breath, his fingers still rubbing your knuckles in his grasp, “But as much as it hurts to know, I need you to tell me if you’re only pursuing things with me just because of what Jungkook did.”

It feels like theres a lump in your throat that you can’t swallow, and as much as you don’t want to cry again you can feel the slight sting in your eyes. “I like you Taehyung.”

He laughs, a gentle laugh that lets you know he isn’t upset, “I know you do babe, but do you like me as Taehyung your potential boyfriend or Taehyung your good friend.”

He can see the gears churning in your head, your eyes focused on his fingers instead of his face again, “Do you like me as much as you like Jungkook.” Is the final blow he gives, the way your face falls is answer enough for him but he needs to hear you say it for his own sanity.

“Taehyung.” You breathe out, finally looking into his eyes with a defeated expression.

“It’s okay if you don’t know.” He lets go of your hands now, “but I think you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t try to find out.”

He moves to get up from your bed and you reach for him when he finally stands, your hand wrapping around his arm and keeping him next to your bed, the earlier conversation with Jungkook coming back, “That’s not fair to you.”

Taehyung shrugs solemnly, “It’s not fair to you if I expect you to be with me regardless of how you might feel for someone else. I’ll always be here and you know that.”

“I love you Taehyung.” You mumble out with a small frown, your heart only twisting more when he laughs as if he’s not hurt.

He knows when you say you love him it’s not in the way he wants it to be, you love him as a friend, you love the Taehyung that would go out with you until 3am, the Taehyung that forces you to blow up prints of his ass. Not as the Taehyung who wanted to introduce you to his parents, who wanted to have you be his phone background. But he could live with that.

“I love you too Y/N.” He leans down to press a kiss against your forehead, giving you a final smile before pulling away from your grasp and leaving the room. It’s not until the door shuts behind him that he feels his resolve cracking, the small smile he had forced onto his face falling off. This was definitely not the way he thought the morning would go. He felt a little naive in thinking he could ease you into feeling the same way he did, especially when he already knew how you felt about Jungkook.

Maybe that was why he had been so hell bent on making sure Jungkook knew to stay away from you, knowing how easy it would be for him to win you over if he had to chance to talk to you. Taehyung and your relationship seemed doomed to fail from the beginning and it stung a little more when he realized that he was the only person who hadn’t seen it coming.

The buzzing from your back pocket makes you jump, the nerves you currently have only aiding in your heart pumping erratically. You set the coffee down on the bench beside you as you pull out your phone.

Jimin 7:56am : Don’t pussy out.

You glare at the phone, wishing he could see your face through the device. Don’t pussy out? Really. Thats sound advice but what else could you expect from Park Jimin.

The phone gets shoved back into your pocket as you grab the coffee once more and continue walking to your morning class. You had a plan set, Jungkook was always early to this lecture but you hoped the seat beside him was still open, at least for today.

It had been a few days since the pregnancy scare but it feels like it happened so long ago, the roller coaster of emotions that coursed through you during that night and the morning after had been such an over load for you. Jungkook and you hadn’t spoken in between it all, he said he’d see you in class so thats what you were going to do.

When you enter your building the chatter of students roaming around before their class fills the space. A familiar set of eyes spots you when you enter, a smile lifting his lips when he looks down at his own hands and spots the same coffee you most likely carry as well. He’s a good distance away from you, having chosen to sit at a table in the main room of the building instead of inside the classroom but now that he’s spotted you he gets up as well.

Once you enter your class you see that Jungkook isn’t here but his usual desk mate is, she’s sitting in her spot with her notebook spread out as she scribbles on it. Your plan had met a tiny hitch in the road but its surely something a charming smile could fix. She only looks up when you’re stood directly in front of her, a subtle clear of your throat getting her attention.

“Hi.” You grin in the friendliest way you can muster, “I know we’ve never spoken but do you mind if we switch seats for the day?”

Her eyebrow cocks up, a little confused by your odd request, “Oh uh, sure?”

“Great! Thank you, I sit up there.” You point with your pinky towards the top, right beside Jackson who’s currently staring at you like you’ve grown a third head, “He’s single and flirty so have fun.”

A blush tints her cheeks as she packs up her stuff with a bit of excitement at sitting next to another cute boy and when Jackson sees her making her way up the steps he can’t find it in himself to be upset because the girls cute too, shooting you a sly thumbs up as he fixes his hair up.

“Thats not your seat.”

The voice startles you, nearly dropping the drinks as you try to sit down in your new seat. Jungkook chuckles at your flustered state, setting his drinks down onto his own desk before sliding into his seat.

“I know it’s not, I can move if you want.” You tease, your eyes widening when they land on the identical cups of coffee he also has. Looks like the two of you had the same plan.

“Please don’t.” Jungkook slides into his own seat, sheepishly smiling when he stares at your drinks as well. “Am I being bold by assuming one of those is for me?”

“No,” you laugh, your fingers toying with the lid of your cup, “I think we both had the same idea tho.”

He just smiles widely as he hands your coffee over, “Fine by me, I drink two cups in the morning anyways.”

The both of you swap drinks, ending up with two of the same on your desks but the action makes you feel somewhat giddy inside, hiding your smile behind your cup as you take a sip.

“Why are you sitting here though, really?” He asks softly as he sips his coffee, his wide eyes glancing around the room and seeing the students slowly start to fill it up.

“Just wanted to sit next to you today, can we talk after class? I have something I need to tell you.”

That instantly makes Jungkook nervous, his stomach turning and making him stop drinking his coffee. There was something you needed to tell him...that could go in so many different directions.

You take note of his anxious face and try not to laugh as you drink your coffee, “Nothing bad I swear.”

“Okay,” he hesitates, biting around his straw, “sure.”

Jungkook can honestly say anything said during the entire lecture went in one ear and out the other. His brain was too busy exploring the different scenarios regarding why you wanted to talk after class. A million and one different options came to mind but he couldn’t find himself thinking any of them would be good for him.

Maybe you were going to tell him you two couldn’t be friends anymore after Taehyung had slammed him into the concrete. Or maybe the realization that you two almost had a baby had sunk in and when the smoke cleared you came to terms with the fact that Jungkook was a horrible potential partner and friend so you would be kicking him to the curb.

“Jungkook?”

His eyes are glazed over as he stares at the floor, his lips pursed in thought while his mind ran like a tiny hamster on a wheel.

“Jungkook.” You try again, reaching out and patting his cheek with your palm, smiling when his eyes blink back to the present. “You were up in the clouds.”

His eyes stare at you for a moment before roaming the room, only a handful of students remain packing up their belongings while Jungkook, who normally bolts out, stays seated for the first time in forever.

“Sorry.” He mumbles with a grin, finally coming into motion and stuffing his notebook into his bag. “Where did you wanna go?”

You patiently wait for him, your hip resting on the side of his desk, “We can go to that crepe place you showed me near campus?”

His face brightens up at the mention of it, standing up with a smile as he hooks his backpack over his shoulders, “Okay! C’mon.”

In a turn of events it’s now you who’s full of nerves as you and Jungkook walk off campus, fiddling with your hands in front of you while you made small talk, the tiny nervous habits he had picked up on coming out to play but he doesn’t comment on it.

He forces himself to not overthink anything again, not allowing his self sabotaging comments to derail anything, for all he knew you wanted to talk about possibly having secret santa since Christmas would be approaching soon.

Even as the two of you step into the crepe shop, placing your orders and taking a seat at a small table in a corner he doesn’t speak first, he just sits there with a small smile as he watches the way you scrape the polish off your fingernails. 

“I’m really sorry about Taehyung,” Is what you blurt out, his smile falling from his face as he remembers being body slammed onto the ground with passing students watching in shock. Those were excellent first words for diving into this conversation.

“Please-” he chokes, thankful that your food gets brought out at that moment, “please don’t mention it. I’m okay, see, no bruises.” He motions to his face with a forced smile, eventually melting into a real one once more when he sees the way you start to giggle.

“Okay, sorry. I’ll pretend it never happened then?” Your pitch raises at the end and he nods in agreement. Pretending it never happened was fantastic, maybe it would help him forget as well.

“So was that why you asked to hang out?”

“No.”

Jungkook just blinks at you, slow and practiced, his mind displaying an error screen because he was at a loss. His mouth opens and closes once and you pity him, knowing he really doesn’t know how to respond to your vague answer.

“Is this about secret santa then?”

That has you at a loss too, your head tilting at him, “What?”

“Nothing.” He deflects, cutting up his banana and nutella crepe and stuffing it into his mouth just as quickly. It makes you laugh, your nerves momentarily fizzling out until it falls silent once more, the sound of his munching filling the empty space.

“Remember that conversation we had at the cafe before, you know.” You wave off, seeing him lick his lips and nod in confirmation, he definitely remembered that. Spilling his emotions out to you and getting a reality check in the form of rejection in return.

“Yeah,” he breathes out, pursing his lips as he stares at your untouched strawberry covered crepe, “sorry if it made you uncomfortable.”

“Jungkook, no, it didn’t. I just-” you wipe your sweaty palms on your thighs, begging your courage to not slip between your clammy fingers, “I was wondering if I could...maybe change my answer.”

The beeping computer noises in his brain quiet at that, his lips pushing out further in confusion, not wanting the excitement of the possibility that you might change your answer from a no into a yes to take over his rational thinking.

“But I thought you said no because of Taehyung?”

The slight sting of remembering Taehyung’s sad face flashes through your mind and you fidget in your seat uncomfortably.

“I did, but Taehyung and I had a conversation about all of it and we ended things.”

Jungkook frowns at that, not feeling the happiness he thought he would. He hoped it wasn’t because Taehyung had given him a gnarly right hook, he didn’t want that altercation to be what came between the two of you, “Wait, why?”

It was time for you to be honest, Jungkook had given that to you and considering these feelings had been clouding your mind ever since October, you owed it to yourself to finally admit to still having them. “Because I realized that I really like you Jungkook, a lot.”

He sets his fork down, letting the words process and fully sink in. The first inkling of happiness starts to creep up his spine, he feels a little bad that you and Taehyung ended things, especially because of him, but he can’t deny his feelings. 

The nerves you felt start to dissipate when you see his lips stretch into a smile, his wide eyes almost sparkling as he stares at you with hints of excitement that match the way you feel inside.

“Really?” He almost whispers, leaning forward in his chair as if you two are sharing a forbidden secret.

A grin is sent his way as you mimic his actions, leaning over in your own seat to meet him halfway, “Yes really, so is that offer for a date still on the table?”

“Of course it is.”

You sit straight in your seat again, finally cutting in to your food now that you didn’t feel like puking out of nerves. Jungkook feels like things were going in his favor once more, maybe his good karma just took a while to kick in, the string of unfortunate events just being hurdles to test his patience. 

“So, secret santa huh?”

He hums as he chews his food, wagging his fork at you as he swallows, “Don’t tell me you guys don’t do it?”

You stab through a strawberry as you think it over, you had actually never participated in secret santa before but it did seem like a fun exchange, “Can’t say we have, theres a first time for everything though.”

Jungkook wonders if your friend group would be civil with him if things with you progressed, sure Jimin seemed to be on okay terms with him but then again if Taehyung had plowed him down and Yoongi had sat him down for a talking, how the rest of them would act was currently a big mystery. Maybe Jungkook would have some ass kissing to do, but for now he found it was best to focus on ensuring your future date went exactly the way he wanted it to.

“I’m gonna need a detailed list of your favorite foods.”

That makes you laugh before you bring your food to your mouth, “Really, why?”

He just shrugs, “Because I want it to be perfect.”

Wendy sighs as she’s stood in front of you, her fingers gripping your jaw as she forces you to stop fidgeting in your chair.

“Can you stop!” She snaps, giving up on trying to apply your eyeliner. The last thing she needed was the right side to end up looking like a tribute to her emo days, raccoon eyes and all.

“Sorry, it tickles.”

She snorts at that, knowing that wasn’t the only reason you were wiggling around like a toddler. “Oh really, thats the only reason why?”

Your eyes flutter open at her teasing tone, knowing better than to open them all the way because if you transfer your eyeliner onto your lid you know Wendy will smack you.

“Yes you whore, why else.”

She blows you a kiss at the endearing nickname, motioning for you to shut your eyes again to finish up the eyeliner. Wendy waits until she flicks the wing, biting down on her lip as she forces herself not to say what she wants to say until the chance of ruining your makeup is in the clear.

You feel her fanning your face, your brows pinching together as she remains quiet for another moment.

“Because you’re nervous, you’ve had it bad for the greek god for a long time okay don’t front.” Her tone is confident and it makes you scrunch your face up.

“What is with you and comparing these guys to Jesus and greek gods, they really don’t need their egos inflated Wendy.”

Her laughs fills the room as she moves on to coating a pair of false lashes with glue, resting her butt on the edge of your desk as she waits for it to get tacky. “Oh hush, you know I’ll never say it to their faces.” She gives the lashes a blow, curving them in her grasp to help them shape to your lid easier, “Either way stop changing the subject, you’re way more nervous about this date than you were for your date with McDreamy.”

You couldn’t deny that, the jitters running through your body, your mind running through how the night would play out, the slight tingle in your lips when you wondered if Jungkook would be the type to kiss you good bye when the date was finished. Those were all the things that were missing last time.

“You seem to be rooting for this despite you claiming he was a pig last time Wendy.” You bite back, being defensive was your coping mechanism.

She hums as she starts to apply your left eyelash, securing the inner corner and pushing them up so they wouldn’t droop over your eye once fully dry.

“I may have spoken prematurely, you only give me rundowns when shit get catastrophic okay.”

That much was true, even though you two were room mates and friends underneath it all, you rarely told her every single detail of your life. She was always busy with course work and you didn’t want to swamp her further with every minuscule thing. Which lead to you dumping everything on to her when it became too much.

So, after things with Taehyung fizzled out you came to her and laid it all out once more. Her and Jimin had been the ones to push you towards accepting Jungkook’s offer for a date after you had already declined.

“Either way, you’re deflecting. Just admit you’re nervous because you want this to work out.”

You remain silent as she applies your other lash, rolling your lips together and not opening your eye until she deems it safe to do so. When your eyes flutter open and meet hers you see the smug look she has on her face, she could read you like a book.

“Okay fine, I want this to work out so badly. But realistically, I don’t think there’s anything that can happen that can make me not enjoy this date.”

“Really, nothing?”

Your mind sorts through every possible scenario that could make this date a disaster and comes up blank, “Well, unless he calls me some other girl’s name-”

“Please,” Wendy laughs out, “the boy probably has a notebook page filled up with just your name. Oh my god, he probably writes Jeon Y/N and circles hearts all around it!”

“Stop!” You swat at her arm with a playful scowl on your face, “Don’t poke fun at him.”

That image was swirling through your head now, picturing Jungkook hunched over his desk during class or in the middle of studying and instead of taking notes he’d be scribbling your name into the corner of the paper. It makes a stupid smile spread across your face and Wendy chuckles when she sees it.

“You’re such a simp.”

“Okay, give me that.” You snatch the brush from her hands, going to apply your own makeup since she seemed determined to make you more flustered than you were. There was about twenty minutes left until you were set to meet up with Jungkook and if you kept getting distracted you’d end up running late and thats the last thing you wanted to do.

She raises her hands up in defense and lets you do your thing, choosing to approach your closet instead to help you pick out a shirt for tonight. You were hell bent on wearing the black high waisted jeans you had on because they made your ass look good and also hit your ankles just right so you could wear the cute chunky black heels you had just bought. Wendy pulls out a few shirts and holds them up beside you as you apply your bronzer, weighing out the options in front of her.

“Whats the vibe for today? Super classy or classy with a dash of slutty?”

You hum in thought, setting the bronzer down and moving on to the finishing touches, “Classy with a dash of slutty never fails...”

She agrees wholeheartedly, hanging up the second option and handing you the first one as you give your makeup a final check. When you grab the shirt from her an approving nod is sent her way, the black lace corset top was right on the edge of classy and slutty, perfect.

Even as you slip on the black wool coat, something you absolutely needed to ward off the cold December air, the jittery feeling inside of you doesn’t lessen. In fact it increases, more so when your phone vibrates with a text from the man of the hour.

Jungkook 8:27pm : I’m ready whenever you are (:

“Do you know where you’re going?” Wendy asks as she plops back down onto her bed, her hands crossed on her lap with a tiny smile on her face, pretty proud of her makeup skills.

“Not the exact place, I’m pretty sure it’s a Japanese restaurant because I’ve been bombarding him with sushi places.” You smile to yourself when you scroll through your thread with Jungkook, seeing the countless screenshots of restaurants in the area, surely he was overwhelmed by how many different places you had sent him but you wanted to give him options while still allowing yourself to be surprised.

Y/N 8:28pm : I’ll be down in like 2 minutes!

You pocket your phone again, analyzing your full outfit in the mirror and ruffling your hair as a final check. Wiping your palms onto your jeans you take a brief moment to think about how nervous Jungkook was, remembering the way he had acted before his date with Jisoo, how he had been so unsure of absolutely everything including his outfit. He had needed your guidance to calm down, needed your opinion on which shirt to wear, had he asked someone else for guidance tonight?

“Everything’s gonna be fine okay? By the way, do you need me to vacate the room for the night?” Wendy questions from her spot on the bed, her eyebrows wiggling at you through the mirror.

“No,” you laugh, with the fear of the pregnancy scare still fresh in your system you highly doubt the two of you will be in a rush to repeat the actions of that night, “you’re safe in this room.”

Wendy doesn’t fully believe you but she doesn’t argue, just agrees and gives you a quick hug before waving you out of the room with a massive smile, hoping just as much as you were that tonight went well.

Right as you exit your building you spot Jungkook, he’s sat on one of the benches by the front door, his hands folded over his knees as he stares off towards the middle of the quad. He only looks your way when he hears the soft clacking of your heels on the concrete and when he takes you in he feels his heart skip a beat.

He stands up from the bench in a swift motion, his dark hair fluffing on top of his head from his haste action. For a moment he says nothing, his eyes fully giving you a once over and admiring how beautiful you look, its only once he meets your eyes that his slight slack jawed expression turns into a sweet smile.

“Wow, you look beautiful.” He breathes out, his hands reaching for yours and bringing you in for a hug. His arms wrap around you easily, pulling you into his chest and giving you a squeeze that invades all your senses, warmth spreading throughout you when you feel surrounded in Jungkook.

“Thank you.” You mumble out, your own hand placed on his back, your fingers rubbing the material of his coat. As they trail up towards his shoulders they catch on something and you pull back slightly, your hands turning his body around without a warning, a small noise of question leaving Jungkook.

“Kookie, your coats on inside out.”

His eyes widen at that, craning his head around to see what you meant, “What, really?”

“Yeah,” you laugh out, your finger flicking the white tag by the collar as you bit your lip, trying not to laugh more when he whirls around as if he’ll get a better glimpse at it that way, “here take it off.”

He stops his moving instantly, standing still with slightly red cheeks as you help slide the black coat off of him. When his eyes catch on to the tag he feels more embarrassment fill his system, his first date jitters being the sole reason for the slight wardrobe mistake.

You found it endearing though, picturing him in such a haste to get out and meet you that he didn’t get a proper look at his coat, shoving his arms through it without a care just as he exited his room.

“There, all better.” You ease his arms back into the jacket, your hands adjusting the collar of it, leaving them placed on his shoulders as you stare up at him. Your close proximity has Jungkook gulping, his eyes flicking down onto your lips, desperately fighting the urge to kiss you. He wanted to do this right, do it respectfully, no matter how badly he wanted to plant one on your nude colored lips.

“Thanks,” he whispers out, his breath hitching in his throat when you lean up and press a soft kiss to the side of his cheek, the gentle smack of your lips on his skin only flusters him further, “we should get going to make the reservations.”

“Okay, let’s go.” You pull away with a satisfied smile, absolutely loving the effect you had on him, the shy Jungkook that had taken your heart captive being shown once more.

The cold air keeps you walking close to him, needing the extra body warmth to stop the chill from creeping into your bones. Because of this, every step you took left fluttering touches on your hand as his grazed it. Jungkook keeps his gaze forward, his lips pressed together lightly as he contemplated what to do. His fingers twitched at his side, slowly spreading apart until the courage grew inside of him and he was reaching out to clasp your hand with his.

His large palm envelopes yours easily, dwarfing it in comparison and it leaves you feeling secure. He notices the extra pep in your step, the soft swinging of your intertwined hands and he sneaks a glance over at you, a smile spreading across his face when he notices the giddy expression on yours.

Neither of you mention it, you just enjoy the innocent sensation of feeling connected as you walked together, nearing the awaiting car Jungkook had gone ahead and ordered.

Everything was going just the way he wanted it, the antsy feeling he had the day before that prevented him from getting a good nights sleep, the frantic texting between him and Eunwoo as he asked for help on his choice of restaurant had left him so anxious.

But all of it was worth it, especially when he sees the way your face absolutely lights up once the uber approaches the restaurant of the night. You had snuck it in between the large batch of others, having never been there before but heard so much about it, you were secretly hoping Jungkook had looked into it a little deeper.

“You got reservations for Urasawa?” You finally speak up, your head leaning towards Jungkook as you duck to look at the bright sign.

Jungkook feels a little proud to have caused the marvel in your voice as your wide eyes peer up at the building, bouncing over to him and showing the elation you had when he nods at you.

Once again, everything was going just the way he wanted it to.

The pair of you enter the restaurant with excitement evident in your faces, you take a moment to admire the dim interior while Jungkook approaches the host’s booth.

“Welcome, do you have a reservation?” The brunette woman questions, a smile on her lips as she taps onto the ipad in front of her.

“Yes, it should be under Jungkook for 9 o’clock.”

Its at that very moment that everything starts to slowly go downhill, the mirage of perfection fading out, the light trickling of the sand that wasn’t noticeable before becomes increasingly hard to ignore when it seems as if the floor continues to sink underneath him.

The final avalanche that buries him under comes in the form of a sympathetic smile from the hostess as she scrolls up and down on the reservations list, Jungkook’s name coming up short.

“Sorry sir, there’s nothing here for the name you provided. Is it under another name perhaps?” She tries to find a solution for him, seeing the growing desperation in his eyes as he turns his head over to look at you, seeing you blissfully unaware as you continue to eye the decor around the waiting area.

“Uh, n-no, it has to be under Jungkook.” His brows pinch onto his forehead as his fingers begin to nervously fidget on top of the counter. “Can you check again?” He pleads.

The hostess, which he learns is named Tera thanks to her name tag, nods immediately, going back onto the ipad and typing his name once more. Just like before it pulls up nothing so she goes as far as typing it in every form she possibly could, hoping a typo was the reason behind this reservation being lost.

“I’m sorry–“ she starts, her own hands becoming clammy as she realizes she’d have to be the bearer of bad news and ruin whatever date plans Jungkook currently had. She flicks over to tomorrows date and checks there, her eyes widening when she spots Jungkook’s name in the 9 o’clock spot he had mentioned. It seems as if whoever had booked the reservation for him had officially fucked up and slotted him in for the wrong date.

“Oh, I found it.” She cringes more when Jungkook looks relieved, maybe she shouldn’t have said it in that tone. “But it’s booked for tomorrow.”

He’s about ready to slam his head down onto the wooden counter attached to the booth, a concussion would be a hell of a lot better than wherever the hell this situation would take him. How could it possibly be booked for tomorrow, when he had called and made the reservation he had repeated the date and time about fifteen times, going as far as spelling out his name to avoid any possible confusions.

This was just concrete evidence that someone of a higher power really did have it out for him.

Tera must sense the complete despair Jungkook was currently going through, if the blank look on his face as he tried not to let out a scream didn’t spell it out, the way he tenses up when you finally approach him does. When you wrap your arm around him and gently nudge his side, asking if there was a hold up because the restaurant looked fairly busy, Tera decides to try to throw Jungkook a rope to prevent him from sinking further into the sand.

Jungkook is at a loss, not knowing how to break the news that the reservations you two had been excited for had been booked incorrectly and you’d have to settle going to Mcdonalds instead. So much for a perfect first date.

After frantically scrolling through the current customers seated she manages to find one table that just cleared up, it’s meant to be used by another customer in half and hour but by then she’ll be off the clock and they’ll just have to wait. She didn’t get paid enough for this.

“Perfect, if you could just follow me, I’ll lead you to your table.” She speaks up as if she hadn’t just told Jungkook his reservation was fucked.

Jungkook looks utterly confused as he stares at the hostess, seeing the way she’s trying her best to communicate through her eyes so you wouldn’t know what was going on. Unfortunately Jungkook is not fluent in telepathy but he knows enough to understand that she had just done him a solid, absolutely saving his ass from further embarrassment and giving him another shot at redemption.

He mutters out a thank you and follows behind her, subtly wiping the sweat that had accumulated on his forehead from the stress, finally getting a second to admire the interior much like you had earlier and he’s pretty glad he had chosen this restaurant.

Once Tera shows you both to your table, placing the menus in front of each seat she retreats back to her booth with another thankful glance from Jungkook. He pulls out your chair and scoots you in to your seat before sliding into his own with a grin.

“Can I be honest?” Jungkook asks with a sheepish smile as he toys with the edges of the menu.

“Sure.”

His eyes roam the selection of options, placing the menu back down to stare at you across from him, “I’ve never had sushi.”

Your curious stare turns into one of disbelief as you set your own menu down, leaning towards him slightly, “Jungkook we’re at a sushi restaurant.”

He simply shrugs his shoulders, “Well this is the best place to try it then huh?”

Well, you guess he’s not wrong. You dive in head first as you start to explain every item on the menu to the best of your abilities, questioning him on his likes and dislikes to be able to advise him on what he’d most likely enjoy eating.

Jungkook just sits there with a goofy smile, nodding along as you point to each item, his eyes switching over from your own eyes and then your lips, tracing the way they move as you talk.

He honestly wouldn’t mind it if he ended up totally hating sushi, he just wanted to make you happy and to properly spend time with you on a date that he had probably thought about way too many times. In the end, he lets you take the reins as you decide on one of the assorted plates, letting him get a taste of a few different options and if he liked any in particular you could just order more of it.

“I hope you like it.” You breathe out once the waiter leaves with your order, your fingers playing with edge of the table.

“I will, I eat almost anything.” That much was true, Jungkook wasn’t a picky eater by any means. He enjoyed seafood and judging the few plates that have gone by your table he can’t imagine he won’t enjoy it.

“So, how are things are your job?” He asks after taking a sip of his water, he had missed hearing about the random things you and Yoongi got into at work. Most of the time it was mindless editing on the computer, the occasional drama happening with entitled customers, but he lived for hearing about the days you assisted on shoots. The way your face lit up as you talked about your passion made him want to listen to you talk all day.

“Pretty good, one of our usual photographers who rents the space actually asked me to assist her on a location in a few weeks.” Your smile says it all, finally catching the eye of someone who’s work you actually admired, it helped ease the thought of you being a nobody after you graduated.

“Holy shit thats great, does she do the same style you’re into?” Something about the genuine excitement laced in Jungkook’s tone has you sitting in your seat a little higher, unloading every tidbit of information about the photographer you had.

Jungkook lets you rant, watching the way you move your hands around as you talk, his questions only fueling your fire of talking about your career finally blossoming. It flows from one topic to the next, mentions of Jimin and Yoongi being brought into the mix, the two of you avoiding talking about Taehyung and Jungkook’s dumb friends, until the topic switches once more when Jungkook mentions his workplace.

“Wait, since when do you have a job?” You ask just as your food gets brought out, an assortment of rolls laid on for you to choose from and you hold in a cheer when you see how delicious they all look.

Jungkook eyes them curiously, seeing the array of different colors, your question leaving his mind when he spots one with a black and yellow coloring. You watch the way he visually picks a roll and smile to yourself as you pick up your chopstick and grab onto the sushi roll of choice, bringing it up to his mouth, “It has shrimp tempura, avocado and cucumber.”

It takes no convincing for him to open his mouth for the train of food, chewing the roll and savoring the flavor as you analyze his reaction, hoping he enjoys it. Jungkook presses his lips together after he swallows, a thoughtful look on his face as he looks up for a moment, “I think I’m a sushi fan now.” He laughs out, smiling wider at the look of relief on your face.

“Try out the others too, this is my favorite.” You plop another roll onto the single dish in front of him, hoping he’d also enjoy the spicy tuna roll as well.

Jungkook pops it into his mouth with no hesitation, enjoying the slight heat this one had compared to the previous one. You eat the same roll as well, the two of you smiling at each other as you chewed, no longer anxious on if Jungkook would have to settle with eating teriyaki chicken if the sushi was a fail.

“Oh, I got a job last month–“ he finally answers when he swallows, “nothing fancy, I just work part-time at a clothing store not too far from campus.”

“Any reason why you chose to get a job now?”

He hesitates as he reaches for another roll of sushi, his chopsticks pausing in the air for a moment, “I just needed a reason to not be in my dorm.”

That didn’t need any further explaining, after knowing the atmosphere Taehyung had created in their shared dorm plus the rundown Yoongi had given you on Jungkook and his friends, it wasn’t a surprise that he was scrambling for a reason to not be in his room at all. Choosing to focus on his new job, doing all of his school work in the library instead of his dorm, and only retreating into his room to sleep, had become his new routine.

“Well, do you like it?” You try to deter the conversation away from bringing up the past string of unfortunate events.

“It pays good and we rarely get asshole customers so it’s alright. Either way it’s only temporary until I land an internship or something.” You gasp when you realize that meant Jungkook had finally decided on his major. He breaks out into a smile when he explains he decided on computer science, eager to get his general education over with so he could dive into the best parts of his major.

Now its your turn to fire off the questions, dying to see Jungkook as excited as you were when you talked about your job and it works, the two of you finishing up your assorted plate and ordering more of your favorites while Jungkook gushes about a start-up company he had shown interest in. Wanting to get a one up and already contacting them for a potential internship for the following year.

“Why are you in ceramics and creative writing if you always knew you wanted to get into software development?”

Jungkook can only grin at you as he picks at the extra rolls on the table, his stomach nearing on being full but he just can’t seem to get enough.

“I needed extra units and I actually really enjoy ceramics, plus creative writing could come in handy with the story aspect of things if I decide to branch into video game development.”

You set your chopsticks down, not being able to eat any more or your pants would surely pop open, Jungkook on the other hand finishes off the remaining rolls with a smile on his face, completely satisfied with his choice.

“I still have the ceramic mug you made me by the way.” You admit, your lips curling up as you recall the jumbo mug Jungkook had so kindly hand crafted just for you. It was currently sitting on the edge of your desk, exactly where you always put it after you had your morning cup on the days you didn’t have early morning classes.

“Really?” He wonders, a slight burst of something he can’t pinpoint going off inside of him. He finally sets his own chopsticks down after obliterating the food, stacking up the empty plates in the center of the table.

“Of course Kook, although i’m really glad you made it as big as I asked you, I think it’s contributing to my coffee addiction because now I feel like the cup isn’t big enough.”

He quickly tells you he’ll make you an even bigger one, smiling when you start to laugh over the mental image in your head. Really how much bigger could it be before the cup resembled an actual pot.

As the waiter swings by to clear off the plates Jungkook shyly orders mochi ice cream for the two of you to share, definitely not something you’d ever dream of declining so you settled further into the seat as the two of you continuing mindlessly chatting.

It’s not until motion coming from your left grabs your attention, successfully losing your train of thought when your eyes land on someone you thought you’d never see again. He’s being brought to his table, right next to yours and Jungkook’s, with a pretty blonde as his date. You hold no special feelings for this person, just a mindless hookup that happened before summer ended, but just knowing they were seated right there while you were on a date with Jungkook made you uneasy.

Jungkook catches onto your change, how you started to subtly tilt your head away from your left, framing your hand by your face to prevent someone from spotting you. If it wasn’t for the small gasp of realization he hears, followed by a semi obnoxious whisper of your name, Jungkook would’ve asked you what was wrong.

Instead his own head follows the sound of the voice, landing a mere 6 feet away from the table, the boy seated almost parallel to Jungkook but his attention was clearly on you and not his date.

“Y/N!” The stranger tries once more when you squeeze your eyes shut and try to pretend you couldn’t hear him. He was on a date for fucks sake, why the hell was he calling out your name like you were old friends, you two had barely even talked after you hooked up.

Jungkook continues to watch in slight concern because you really didn’t look like you wanted to speak to him, even his own date looked slightly embarrassed, reaching her hand out to try to shush him in the rather quiet restaurant but whoever this was seemed very persistent.

“Uh Y/N, who is that?” He asks through his teeth, trying his best to be discreet to not grab his attention further.

“It’s no one.” You say with a slight clear of your throat, clear code for I’ll tell you afterwards so Jungkook nods in understanding.

Clearly the stranger didn’t think he was no one, because he had turned towards theatrics, extending his arm out to wave at you in such a chaotic motion you can’t stop yourself from finally whipping your head towards him and giving him a glare. 

Because of that you spot the exact moment his hand rams into the passing waiter who’s holding a tray of drinks, watching in almost slow motion as they topple over on the tray and the mixture of sake and soda spills directly onto Jungkook’s front.

Jungkook’s reaction is instant once he feels the cold liquid trailing down his skin, pushing back from the table in shock, the slight screech of the legs against the wooden floor catching the attention of the surrounding people.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” The waiter apologizes, frantically reaching into his apron for spare napkins as Jungkook stands up, the front of his light colored shirt being absolutely ruined, the strong smell of alcohol sticking to the fabric.

Jungkook can only sigh as he drops his head back, eyes looking up at the ceiling, practically piercing through it as he attempts to glare at the sky. Really?

“It’s okay.” Jungkook reassures the waiter, he knew it wasn’t his fault, so he gives him a soft smile as he take his own napkin off the table and tries his best to dab at the liquid soaking into his shirt.

The more guests grow curious the bigger the scene gets, eventually grabbing the attention of the manager as he makes his way towards the two of you trying to clean up the mess.

Try as you might the murky looking stain wouldn’t be going away with just your napkin but Jungkook still appreciates your effort, letting you pull at his shirt as you tried your best.

“Folks, I am so sorry about this!” The manager speaks up from behind you, nearly startling you as you set the soiled napkin down onto the table.

The poor waiter had already scrambled to the back, most likely worried he’d be getting fired so Jungkook feels inclined to clear his name, “It’s fine, it wasn’t the waiter’s fault–“

“Yeah, it was totally my mistake!” The same boy from before chooses now to speak up after having caused this mess and seeing the way he’s still comfortably sat in his seat is what makes you snap.

“Jesus Jaehyun take a fucking hint!” You hiss out, not missing the way his eyes widen at your tone. He takes that hint loud and clear, turning to fully face his now very uninterested date with his eyes not daring to look over at you again.

“Listen your meal is on the house.” The manager continues, choosing to ignore your little outburst that honestly has Jungkook wanting to laugh.

“Really you don’t have to do that.”

“No we insist, please don’t worry about it.”

You and Jungkook share a look before nodding because sure, who didn’t enjoy free food. With you now seemingly satisfied the manager makes his exit right as your mochi ice cream gets brought out.

By now Jungkook can say he has lost the craving for sweets, his cheeks burning in embarrassment at the lingering eyes who are no doubt talking about him under their breath. He really wanted to leave now and you catch on to that as quickly as it comes.

“You wanna go?” You ask softly, reaching for his hand as you stay stood beside him.

“Yeah.” He mumbles out, still choosing to slide out his wallet to at least leave a tip for your server.

“Okay, let’s go.” You tug him along after he leaves some cash on the table, watching as you give a final glare at the stranger dubbed Jaehyun.

Jungkook wonders if first dates always went this bad, his date with Jisoo failed to have any bumps in the road this extreme. Maybe it was the universe’s way of testing him, your relationship already had a handful of bumps so whats a few more to solidify that you both felt a certain way for each other despite the bad karma that seemed to follow Jungkook.

And as you two exit the restaurant Jungkook doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or cry when he sees, or more so feels, that its pouring outside. Neither of you are prepared, the forecast of the day never mentioning the possibility of rain at all.

“Oh my god.” You laugh out, ducking your head and practically running down the sidewalk as you yank Jungkook behind you, not stopping until you’re stood under a small area where the roof of the building hung over the sidewalk.

“At least now the wet stain will blend in with the rest of your shirt.” You joke and Jungkook smiles once more, bringing his free hand up to ruffle his now damp hair.

“Silver linings I guess.”

You slide your phone out and order an uber for the two if you, ignoring Jungkook’s voice of protest at you having done that. He had paid for the last uber and even though dinner was technically free he had also provided the tip, so it only felt right to spot the uber back.

Jungkook doesn’t start to feel a little defeated until you’re both stood there waiting for the car, his eyes are focused on the sidewalk, the splatters of rain being the next thing in line to put a hitch in the night. He had planned on going for a walk not too far from here, having seen a park that had sculptures that lit up once the sun went down. In his mind that would be the perfect place for the two of you to come down from the food you had eaten and Jungkook could get an idea on where your feelings stood.

That same defeated feeling lingers as you two exit the uber but Jungkook really tries to not let it put a damper on his mood when the night had been nice overall. You didn’t seem to be upset about anything, a giant smile on your face as you and Jungkook sprint towards your building to seek shelter from the bullets of rain. He had taken off his black coat and held it over the two of you as a makeshift umbrella, having to wring the coat out once you entered the dorm building.

“I thought monsoon season ended months ago.” You laugh out breathlessly, tucking your damp hair behind your ears and resting against the plain wall behind you.

“I’m telling you, i’ve got bad karma.” He grumbles as she shakes his coat off, walking towards you with a wry smile on his face.

You pout when you notice his expression, reaching for his hands once more and leading him towards the elevator, “Jungkook no you don’t–“

“Yes I do.” He playfully whines, resting his forehead on the cold elevator wall, feeling the rumble against his head as he makes a childish noise.

“Jungkook!” You laugh, pulling him away from the wall to face you as you cup his cheeks in your hands, “No you don’t, look I had a good time tonight.”

“You did?” He mumbles out, his cheeks still being pushed in your hold and puckering out his lips slightly.

“Yeah Jungkook, I did. I would’ve had a good time even if we would’ve stayed in my room doing nothing. I like spending time with you.” It was an honest confession, it didn’t matter where Jungkook had decided to take you for your first date you knew from the start that you’d have a good time.

But you knew Jungkook had wanted this date to go a certain way, from the way he emphasized how perfect he wanted it to be, so you let him playfully mope about it as you lead him towards your room.

When your door clicks open Wendy scrambles up from her laying position on the bed, her headphones hanging around her neck loosely as she yanks them off, “So, how was the date with the greek go–“ she freezes when she sees the state you’re both in as you walk inside, your hair is sitting in wet clumps on your head, your clothing looking damp but not as wet as Jungkook’s considering he had a massive stain of a questionable substance on his shirt.

“What happened?” She slowly asks, her eyes glued to Jungkook’s shirt and he feels himself bringing his arms up to shield it from view and Wendy averts her gaze to look at you instead.

“Just some rain.” You shrug as you take off your coat and hang it from the back of your chair, Jungkook takes a moment to stare at your exposed back, not realizing how revealing your shirt was since you’d kept your coat on the entire night.

“Yeah but his shirt.” Wendy tries again and when Jungkook makes a small noise of despair from the back of his throat she stops talking, pressing her lips together to stop from laughing.

“I got caught in the crossfire between some drinks.” Jungkook finally mumbles out, stuffing his hands into his cold and damp jeans with a slight grimace when he remembers the feeling of it all.

Wendy’s mouth drops open slightly in confusion, turning to you again for further explanation, “Well drinks and Jaehyun.”

At that she hums, having heard about Jaehyun considering he was the last random person you had casually slept with his name was on a list of fallen soldiers. She wanted more details, craved them, but she also knew it would be best not to ask right now. Plus with the solemn look on Jungkook’s face she kind of wants to give the two of you space to talk if you need to. “Oh wow, okay well I’m gonna head down to the student lobby and grab some snacks. You guys want something?”

You give her a pointed look, especially when she starts to gather her laptop up, clearly showing she would be gone for a while, “Wendy you don’t have to leave.”

“I’m not leaving, I’m going to get snacks.” She corrects you with a scoff, shoving her feet into her fluffy slippers as she approaches the door. She gives you and Jungkook a quick wave before she dips out in a hurry, no doubt going next door to hang out with Yeri.

“Okay so who was Jaehyun?” Jungkook finally asks as you take his wet coat from him as well, hanging it off the corner of the room divider you have propped open beside the wall. Your back is turned to him so you miss the teasing smile on his face, your tiny outburst at the restaurant had been kind of hot but Jungkook would keep that to himself for right now.

As you think of Jaehyun and the stupid scene he had cause it makes a soft groan leave you. You ebb the annoyance away when you sort through your closet to try to get Jungkook something to wear so he could get out of his sticky shirt, settling on an oversized university shirt you sometimes wore to bed.

“He’s some guy I slept with a while ago, it happened once, we never spoke again so I don’t know why he was so insistent on talking to me.” You really didn’t want to give him more details than that so you’re thankful when he doesn’t ask anymore questions about him. Leave it to the higher ups to plant Jaehyun at the same restaurant as you two, the perfect plan set in motion to lead to the chain of events resulting in Jungkook’s now ruined shirt.

He lets out a soft sigh as he starts to unbutton his shirt, his eyes focused on his fingers and missing the way you try and fail to look away from his exposed chest. “This is the bad karma I was telling you about.” He pouts as he slides off the stained shirt, grabbing the cotton tee from your hands and slipping it on quickly.

“Jungkook, you don’t have bad karma.”

“Yes I do, look I didn’t say anything but they fucked up the reservations today, we were this close,” he pinches his fingers for added effect, “to having to eat at Mcdonalds.”

That finally earns a laugh from you as you step out of your heels, “Wait really?”

“Yes!” He shouts with a laugh, his eyebrow cocking up when you offer him some black sweats, he highly doubts they’ll fit so he declines them.

You shrug and decide to slip them on yourself, along with a comfy shirt, sliding behind the room divider since you were currently braless. “Okay to be fair–“ you peak your head back out as you shimmy into the sweats, “I really wouldn’t have minded that, Mcdonald’s fries paired up with a soft serve would slap.”

Jungkook flops halfway onto your bed, his feet planted on the floor as his upper body splayed out. As much as he agreed with that, and now sort of craved it, he didn’t want that to be the route this date took.

“Why do you think you have bad karma?” You ask once you step out from behind the divider, looking cozy as you sit onto the bed next to him, your hands reaching out to trace on his arm closest to you.

“Because of the dumb shit I did I mean, first the pregnancy scare–“

“Okay but it was negative.” You chime in and he mulls it over before nodding. Alright, that one cancelled out like pemdas.

“Then it was running into Jisoo at the cafe, getting a light beat down from Taehyung, our reservations getting booked wrong, getting a sick mixture of sake and soda spilled all over me, not getting to eat that mochi ice cream!” He adds on with more emphasis, “And then we leave and it’s pouring so I couldn’t take you to the next part of the date.”

At that you pause, your head tilting as you stare down at his flustered face. He gives you a side glance when he notices your silence, seeing the way your lips slowly curve up, “Wait, there was supposed to be more?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook breathes out, he wanted to continue being honest with you and his feelings, not letting his nerves and doubt weigh his tongue down like it always did, “I was gonna take you to this park near by, they have these really pretty sculptures that light up scattered all around. I thought it would be a nice place to just walk around and talk, and if things went well I was gonna ask–“ he pauses to take a breath, the words jamming in his throat as he forces his eyes shut for a brief moment.

“If you wanted to be my girlfriend.” He finally gets out, his eyes fluttering open and looking over at you, seeing you already looking at him with the softest gleam in your eyes.

The simple question has you smiling like a giddy school girl, finding out your crush liked you as much as you liked them, the fuzzy sensation in your chest spreading the longer you stared at him. Jungkook on the other hand only feels his nerves flip in his stomach the longer you don’t say anything, his eyes widening up in worry at your prolonged silence.

“Yeah Jungkook, I wanna be your girlfriend.” You shyly respond, biting your lip when you see a smile replace his worried expression, his lips spreading out and revealing his teeth.

“Really?”

“Yes.” You laugh as he sits back up, his face now level with yours as he looks at you, and he can’t stop himself from planting one on you now, desperately wanting to feel your lips on his. His hands cup your face with a sense confidence you hadn’t experienced from him, guiding you towards him before he meets you halfway and presses his lips against yours.

His lips feel soft as they slot between yours, your eyes falling closed as your own hands come up and rest on top of his. The nerves Jungkook felt earlier fizzle away as you press harder against his lips, starting a gentle rhythm as your lips move together in a slow dance that he had grown to miss since the last time you kissed him.

The soft huffs of his breath escaping his nose as he kisses you fan across your cheek, a smile spreading across your face and making it difficult to properly kiss him back the way you wanted so you pull away with a light smack. Your teeth gently press down onto your lip as you smile at him, your noses still nudged against each other. His own eyes are still shut, being too scared to open them up and reveal he was actually dreaming, he had spent too many nights stuck in his dreams that all consisted of you.

They don’t crack open until you press another soft kiss against his lips, your hands moving away from his and going to cup his own face, your thumb softly caressing the skin of his cheek.

“I’d really like to go to that park you mentioned though.” You whisper out, not wanting to speak any louder and break the soft atmosphere created.

Jungkook kisses you once, twice, three more times before nodding, “I’ll take you, I promise.” He knew you’d love it there, maybe it’d be a good place for you to take picture of, find inspiration if you were in search of it. Whatever it may be Jungkook knew it’d make you smile and awe and he wants to give that to you.

“You wanna stay here for a while?” You ask as he leans a little further back so he can stare at you without going cross-eyed. Jungkook nods instantly, wanting to spend as much time with you, his girlfriend, as he possibly could.

He had another hour or so before they did rounds for the weekend and all you wanted to do was snuggle on your bed, maybe watch a movie– “Lets order delivery for some Mcdonald’s dessert?” He reads your mind, a playful smile on his face, he really had a sweet tooth and being robbed the enjoyment of eating that mochi ice cream still stung.

“Jungkook, you absolute mind reader, yes we can.” He manages to sneak another kiss from you before you stand up to grab your laptop, ready to search for something the two of you can watch while Jungkook places the order, grinning when you crane your head over the device to ensure he had gotten the mcflurry you wanted.

Maybe first dates didn’t need to be perfect if they were with someone you were meant to be with.

“So are ya’ll like doing it.” Hoseok questions, an innocent look on his face as he takes a sip of his water. You were currently gathered outside of a giant warehouse that Taehyung had demanded you meet him at. His birthday was nearing and all he had asked was for a friendly game of paintball. There was absolutely nothing friendly about paintball, you could already picture the baseball sized bruises that would litter your body but if thats what he wanted then so be it.

“Doing it?” You question right back, your eyes narrowing at him as he nods, looking at you before turning his head to look at Jungkook who was currently talking to Jimin while Chaeyoung and Wendy laughed at something.

“He’s my boyfriend, so yeah.” 

“Oh, so it’s official. You know, sex hits a little different when there’s a title on it.” He teases, a playful smile on his face when he sees the way your cheeks puff out when you scrunch your face up in slight embarrassment.  Hoseok knew you and Jungkook were officially together, your whole group knew, Taehyung included, he just enjoyed getting under your skin like an annoying brother would.

“Shut up.” You laugh out, swatting at his stomach with the back of your hand. He dodges your attack with ease, hopping to the side with a cackle that grabs the other’s attention.

All of you had come in groups in separate cars, Jimin, Chaeyoung, Jungkook, you and Wendy coming together in Jimin’s car; Namjoon, Hoseok, and Yoongi had come together and gave one of Chaeyoung’s friends, Chungha, a ride as well. You were all just waiting on Jin, Arang and the man of the hour, Taehyung.

“Where are they?” Yoongi huffs out as he leans against the metal benches set up outside the warehouse, his foot kicking up some of the rocks that littered the floor.

“Taehyung probably had some trouble with his hair, fifty bucks says Jin is currently lecturing him in the car.” Namjoon adds, laughing when everyone agrees with no hesitation.

Jungkook slowly creeps his way over to you, slithering his arm around your shoulders and tugging you into his side with a grin on his face. He leans down and presses a kiss to the top of your head, you can sense his uneasiness, having felt it the second you brought up the events Taehyung had planned and extended the invite to Jungkook. 

“You okay?” You ask softly, not wanting to grab everyone’s attention again as they all began their own conversations.

Jungkook just gives you a squeeze at the question, “Yeah, just a little nervous about being here with everyone you know.”

That was understandable, after everything went down it was only normal that all of your friends got the low down of what happened between you and Jungkook. Your friendship was very tight knit so it made sense that they all took your side and distanced themselves from Jungkook instantly. So far none of them had been malicious or cold towards him, greeting him as if nothing had happened, because if you told them everything was okay then everything was okay.

The main person Jungkook was uneasy around was Taehyung, and with good reason. The two of you hadn’t spoken at all since things ended, he had asked you for a bit of distance which you completely understood. So when he had texted you with the invitation for today, with an okay to bring Jungkook along, you had been a little surprised, not being able to decline because you knew it was for his birthday.

But Jungkook still couldn’t help but feel like he shouldn’t be here, add some guns to the mix and he can’t stop thinking he’d have a massive fucking target on his back the second he entered the paintball field.

Taehyung did in fact have a plan, nothing as aggressive as Jungkook was currently picturing, but it was sort of the reason he was running a little late. He had practiced the simple words he wanted to say in front of the mirror in the boys bathroom over and over, gaining himself some odd stares as he did so, before he knew it the time had flown by and he was scurrying out of the bathroom like it was on fire.

Seokjin was currently scolding him about being timely like Namjoon had joked, Arang sat in the passengers side trying really hard not to laugh whenever she saw the faces Taehyung made through the mirror. This felt like being stuck in the car with your parents after you got a bad grade in school, “Alright, I get it. I’m sorry, but can you blame me.”

Silence fell over the car at that, Jin taking a moment to think it over before shaking his head, no he couldn’t blame him. Taehyung had told him that he wanted to speak to Jungkook before bullets went flying. He knew deep down that you and him were going to be okay, he just needed time to get over his feelings for you, his main concern was clearing the air with his room mate, not wanting any awkwardness lingering.

When the sound of Jin’s tires rolling onto the tarmac creep up all of you turn your heads to look at it, the boys throwing their arms up in relief because finally! Now that they knew he was here everyone slowly starts to make their way inside the building, ready to sign whatever waivers and other paperwork was needed before they all got torn up by the paintballs.

Taehyung gets out of the car when he notices you and Jungkook trailing behind, wanting to get your attention, specifically Jungkook’s, before he was around everyone else, “Wait, Jungkook!” He shouts out, succeeding in having the both of you stop in your path, turning to face him with your brows raised.

Jungkook doesn’t think he heard him right until he waves him over. He feels like his feet are cemented into the floor, needing you to give him a gentle push before he jumps into action and slowly walks his way, a little unsure of himself. Seokjin was still outside so you felt secure that if a fight broke out, he could separate them, but hopefully that wouldn’t happen.

“Happy early birthday.” Jungkook starts first, cringing slightly at his words until he sees the way Taehyung smiles, something he hadn’t seen directed towards him in weeks.

“Thanks man, look I just wanted to say sorry-”

“No, you don’t have to.” Jungkook tries to wave him off because in his head everything was absolutely justified.

“Yes I do Jungkook, look we both fucked up okay but I took it a little too far. I never should’ve put my hands on you, or threatened you the way I did when the situation had nothing to do with me.” He knew he did it because he was protective of you but he had enough sense to know that maybe he could’ve let you handle it the way you wanted to without getting involved himself. All it caused was an uncomfortable atmosphere in their room when it used to be easy going, the two of them getting along pretty well despite their differences in personality.

“I still think it was well deserved but I appreciate the apology. I know it might not mean much, and I hope this doesn’t rub you the wrong way, but I promise I’ll never hurt Y/N again.” Jungkook means it, the way you had stared at him with so much hate in your eyes was forever burned into his mind, seeing you cry because of something he did or rather didn’t do wasn’t something he ever wanted to be the cause of again.

That makes Taehyung smile, the hollow feeling in his chest still being felt but all he wanted was your happiness. Beneath it all you and Taehyung were close friends and just because things weren’t meant to be between the two of you didn’t mean he didn’t wish for you to find it with someone else. If that person happened to be Jungkook then that was okay with him.

“Treat her right for her own sake, not to save your ass from getting plowed down again.” He teases, throwing a soft punch onto Jungkook’s shoulder.

The younger boy chuckles as he clutches his arm, “I will, by the way, was inviting me your ploy to shoot me with no consequences?”

Taehyung lets out his classic laugh as he makes his way into the building, Jungkook following him closely and watching as he shakes his head, “Hell no man, I need you on my team.”

“Fuck Jungkook.” You mewl out, your hands tangling into his hair and yanking him towards you for a kiss, your tongues gliding together messily, letting Jungkook swallow your moans down as he rolled his hips into you.

He knew he had to be quick but he wanted to relish in being inside of you, always loving being in this position with you, it didn’t matter how often of an occurrence it was now. Seeing you with your hair splayed out and messy, your lips swollen from his kisses and bites, the soft moans of his name filling the room as he fucked you, it would never get old.

The way your pussy pulses around his length has him gasping out, his fingers curling around his bed sheets as he rocks harder into you, your heels digging into his butt to urge him closer. Your hands release his hair and trail down his back, your nails digging into his skin and he hisses. Having discovered that Jungkook had a light kink for pain you lived for it, subtle scrapes of your nails,  harsh bites to his skin, pinching his nipples, it was all stuff Jungkook never knew he would be into until he got with you.

“You always feel so good.” He grunts out, his eyes squeezing shut when you clamp down on him on purpose, smiling when he lets out a guttural moan. “Ah, shit, do you want me to cum before you.” He snaps playfully, seeing the way you pout and shake your head.

“No, please make me cum.” You plead, a soft pout on your lips as you lift your hips up to match his motions, keening when his dick expertly hits your g-spot. Jungkook had more than enough time to get acquainted with your body during winter break, the two of you choosing to remain on campus and getting as much time alone together as you wanted since both Wendy and Taehyung had gone to visit family.

“Fuck, when you ask like that I can never say no.” He mutters out, his hips pulling back before snapping forward once more. The sound of your skin connecting from the force of his thrusts fill the empty dorm room and Jungkook knows he found the pace to get you quivering underneath him once your back arches up, your pebbled nipples grazing his chest as you moan out his name. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard his name sound so pretty.

The coil inside you tightens up as his pelvis continues to grind against your clit with every roll of his hips, your desperate cries raising in pitch and Jungkook smiles when he realizes he’s got you right where he wants you.

“Nngh, right there Kook–shit.” You gasp out when he chooses to bring one hand down between you, the pad of his thumb rubbing tight circles onto your aching clit. Your jaw drops open as your climax creeps up on you, only needing a few more flicks of his thumb until you’re unraveling below him.

Jungkook groans when your orgasm crashes over you, your walls pulsing around him as you gasp and moan his name out, your fingers digging into his skin further as you throw your head back into his sheets. He leans forward and latches his mouth onto your neck, suckling on the skin below your ear as he fucks you through your orgasm.

“Oh god,” you groan out when he leans back onto his knees, his large palms gripping onto your hips and fucking you with more force. His eyes are glued to the way your tits bounce, moving up to stare at the fucked out look on your face as you start to come down from your climax, “love your cock.”

You’re slurring your words now and he chuckles at the effect he has on you, shutting his eyes as he feels his own orgasm creeping up on him. It’s not until the constant buzzing of your phone beside your head starts that his eyes open up. Your hand swats the bed as you reach for it, quickly seeing that Jimin had texted you a handful of times and was now calling you, you were late.

“Fuck, Kookie you gotta cum.” You sigh out, tightening your sensitive walls around him, making him gasp and almost double over.

“I know, fuck. Almost there.” He groans, quickening up his pace when he feels the pleasure about to send him over the edge. His grip on your hips tightens up, his fingers digging into your skin as his thrusts become sloppier, losing the grace they had when he had made you see stars. No, now he was desperate, whines of your name leaving the back of his throat and his eyes fluttering shut as he finally spills into the condom.

He hunches over your body as he shallowly ruts his hips, milking his orgasm until he was absolutely spent. The two of you lay panting on his bed sheets, a sheen of sweat on your skin and dopey smiles on your faces.

Jungkook sighs as he pulls out of you, his eyes glancing at the condom covering his cock, he’d be damned if the two of you ever got a pregnancy scare again during college.

Your snort and nudge his hips with your knees when you notice what he’s looking at, “You love condoms huh.” You tease, laughing harder when he nods with a giddy smile.

“You’re gonna have to sign a contract if you want me to fuck you raw.” He jokes, slipping the condom off and tossing it into his bin by his bed. He grabs a towel from his desk before approaching you once more, helping clean you up before cleaning himself.

“I’ll do it, don’t temp me.”

He shoots you a playful glare as he slides into his boxers, he knew you would, “Stop trying to corrupt me.”

“Mm, you like it.”

He doesn’t deny it, a blush coloring his cheeks as he watches you get dressed in a hurry. You fight back a smile at his silence, choosing not to tease him further because you were really late.

“Okay we really gotta go.” You speak out, grabbing your phone and shooting Jimin a quick text saying you were on your way, all he sends back is the middle finger emoji and you scoff.

Jungkook reaches for your camera that was propped on his desk, double checking the memory card and battery before handing it to you. You don’t bother checking your appearance, trusting Jungkook’s thumbs up of approval before you both bolt out of his room.

The herd of students gets more dense the closer you get to the main quad, having to weave between everyone as you approached the area your friends wanted to meet up at. They’re all huddled near a corner outside of the literature building, looking totally inconspicuous, none of them noticing you or Jungkook approaching until you’re tapping Jimin on the shoulder.

He whirls around because he knows it’s you, the glare in his face softening up when he takes note of your hair, “Nice sex hair.”

“Fuck off.” You swat his hand away from your tangled locks, hastily pulling it away from your face and trying ti rake through it. “Also why the fuck is your hair blue now.”

He rolls his eyes like it’s obvious, motioning over to Taehyung who now also had blue hair, “It’s so they don’t tell us apart.”

“Wait, us? You’re doing this bullshit too?”

Taehyung lets out a laugh at that, nodding his head proudly at having roped Jimin into his antics, “I bet him the new iPhone if I could outrun him.”

Namjoon snorts, his fingers pinching his nose because Jimin is absolutely getting scammed and you knew this too, hell everyone knew it even Jungkook judging by the laugh he holds back.

“And what does Jimin get if he wins?” You ask, your hands coming to cross over your chest as you give Taehyung a pointed stare.

“The pride of having beat me?” Taehyung attempts, his pitch rising up as his face screws together at his plan being revealed.

“Tae you’re an ass.” You laugh out when Jimin finally gasps at the obvious betrayal. Admittedly the distance you had given him, along with the time apart during winter break had been good for your friendship. The two of you were now back to acting like you used to, no longer wary of any lingering feelings.

“Plus, did you two forget that Jimin has tattoos on his arm?” Yoongi drawls out, his head tilted as he stares at the exposed ink on Jimin’s skin. If they were going to go streaking again and had gone to the lengths of matching their hair color all it took was someone recognizing Jimin’s art work to snitch on him.

“We’re not amateurs.” Taehyung scoffs, yanking up the fabric of his hoodie sleeve and revealing the horribly fake tattoos on his own arm.

All of you choke down laughter at the chicken scratch on his skin, they were totally fucked.

“Right, my mistake.” Yoongi chuckles under his breath, “Here are the masks, good luck you idiots.”

Jin and Arang make their retreat with Yoongi, wanting to get a decent view since they had missed the time Taehyung did this last semester.

“We’re doing this for you Yoongi, it’s your last semester with us!” Tae shouts out.

The older boy turns around with an exasperated look on his face, “I don’t need to see your bare ass to celebrate my last semester Taehyung, don’t rope me into this!”

Hoseok sighs as he shakes Jimin’s shoulder, “I hope you can run man, Taehyung’s kind of a seasoned pro so best of luck to you.” Its not reassuring at all, Jimin feels like he got blindsided with this. Sure Taehyung had brought the idea up when he was a little drunk so maybe he had agreed too easily but now that he was sober he wasn’t sure why he had said yes.

“You wanna join us Kook?” Taehyung speaks up once more, beginning to hop in place as the nerves kicked in, wanting to get nice and limber to outrun Jimin and the security that would no doubt get unleashed on them.

“Yeah, no thanks.” Jungkook laughs, stuffing his hands into his jeans and looking at the two blue haired idiots. There was no way in hell he’d be joining them.

“C’mon, think of it as initiation into the group.” Taehyung winces out in pain when Namjoon smacks the back of his head.

“He’s already in the group asshat.” He mutters out and Hoseok nods along, giving him a shrug when Taehyung looks for back up. Instead he grumbles out in agreement.

“Whatever, just make sure you get all our good parts Y/N.” He points his finger at you and slides out of his hoodie, the less clothes he had on from the start the better. Namjoon holds onto it for him, beginning to walk away towards Yoongi with Hoseok by his side.

“Will do, is this gonna get blown up into a canvas too?” You question, hoping the answer would be no but you knew Taehyung too well, his head nodding along instantly and Jimin joins in. Of course.

You give them both a salute, Jungkook jokingly wishing them good luck as you leave them behind to go join your group in their spot. It was the start of the spring semester now, the mandatory rally being held to welcome the students back from break with news on exciting events happening in the coming months. The perfect time for Taehyung and Jimin to do what they wanted to do, a bigger audience than last time ready to witness it first hand.

The soft music playing through the speakers gets cut off abruptly as the two smurfs jump on stage, their black masks covering them from the nose down and judging by some screams of glee you realize that some of the freshman recognize the situation from last year.

“This is gonna be good.” Hoseok laughs out, hiding his smile behind his hands as Jimin snatches the mic off the stand.

“Welcome to the new semester!” He shouts out, slightly muffled by the fabric but his words get their point across.

Taehyung reaches forward and yanks the mic from his grasp, the rustling being heard as he places it directly on his mouth through the mask, “I see some familiar faces, here’s the rundown–“ he starts, turning around to double check his surroundings and when he spots the same principle huffing and puffing her way over, already knowing what was next, he continues, “you guys gotta help us get away, do what you gotta do.”

“Are you gonna help us?” Jimin asks as he leans towards the mic in Taehyung’s hand, laughing when the whole crowd screams yes in unison. That satisfies them both, the mic dropping between them and landing with a thud, the feedback ringing through for a moment and thats when they both strip out of their clothes.

When poor principle Kang sees the nudity she lets out a shriek, pointing towards the boys and sending off the guards in a wave of deja vu. Jimin screams as he yanks his clothes off, taking off the stage while Taehyung nearly trips while yanking off his sweats.

He grunts when he takes off after Jimin, the entire crowd whistling and yelling at their bare bodies. Your eyes are glued to your viewfinder once more, holding in your laughter to keep it steady as you followed their path.

Jimin still has the lead, weaving between students with grace as he looks behind him, shooting you a peace sign when he spots your camera. When he bolts passed you, you make sure to focus on his back side, snapping a few photos of the winner of this streaking race to later blow up.

The entire crowd gasps and you whirl back around, a laugh finally leaving you when you spot the security man that took a tumble trying to literally tackle Taehyung down. The shout that leaves Taehyung makes your whole group laugh, he doesn’t look as carefree as the first time, not trying to pose and dance with students. No, he had a brush with near-death at almost being caught so his main concern was getting the fuck out of there.

“Holy shit!” Namjoon laughs even louder when two other guards close in on him.

“He’s gonna get caught.” Seokjin groans, already imagining the hell Tae’s gonna face with administration.

But then a group of students slip in between them, causing the guards to ram into them and leaving Taehyung with enough of a gap to escape. His eyes spot your camera and he blows a kiss towards it, smacking his ass as you take a photo before being lost in between the cars. God they were idiots, but they were your friends and you love them.

“That was...amazing.” Hoseok whispers, starting a slow clap that begins to grow with everyone attending.

You’re still recording the whole thing, panning your camera around to get everyone’s reactions before it’s suddenly stopping, your nose bumping into the side of your device.

“Ow.” You wince, pulling back and gasping when you see Jungkook had his palm wrapped around the lens that was just about to pop him in the face like before.

“Listen, you won me over the first time you did that you don’t have to do it again.” He teases, smiling when you lean up to kiss him in apology.

“I’m sorry.” You laugh, letting the camera fall against your chest when he releases his grip on it.

“Is this where you tell me you hope I have a good first year in college?” His eyebrow cocks up, remembering your chosen words from the first time you had met.

You shake your head as you recall them as well, still somewhat thankful your camera had decked Jungkook’s face.

“No, this is where I tell you I love you.”

His smile matches yours now, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and bring you in for another kiss, “I love you too.”

[seiyasabi]

Hello! I hope this isn’t too much to ask but what are your Headcannons for Jotaro, Kakyoin, N’Doul and Polnareff where they force their fem s/o into marrying them + an nsfw of what they would do on their wedding night?

it’s no problem :)) This is with an AFAB reader, so I hope you enjoy these:

Jotaro:

-It’ll be a small wedding, only his closest family and friends

-He’d forced you to cut off all of your loved ones, so nobody on your side showed

-When you saw that, you sobbed uncontrollably

-Your one chance of getting out was foiled, and you’d never see the ones you care about again

-Everyone knew why you were crying, and it sure wasn’t because you were excited

-It’s a traditional Japanese wedding, and he can’t help but cry a little at the sight of you in your traditional garb (even though your loud wails make the entire thing a bit awkward)

-The reception is short, but it’s enough to make you feel even worse than before

-His friends will coo about how dutiful you are, how good of a darling you are bc you were excitedly crying

-After the food and many congratulations, the two of you will head to your shared hotel suite

-He’ll try to make you feel better by telling you that you’d make a good housewife, but for some reason you don’t like that??

-So, he’ll grow frustrated, and fuck you harshly w your own panties being used as a gag

-He’ll make sure to creampie you multiple times, muttering, “If you want a family, I’ll give you one”

Kakyoin:

-Ya’ll elope

-That’s it

-Just kidding, but seriously, there’s no reception or anything of the sort

-You’ll be married at a courthouse, Jotaro there as a witness

-He’ll then take you on a nice dinner date, complete with a tasty desert

-You’re not necessarily having a good time, mostly bc you have no one to save you from being lawfully tied to the red head

-Once home, he’ll try to woo you into having sex w him, but you’ll try to decline

-He’ll use pretty words to convince you to bed him, promising to let you visit your loved ones

-But, it’ll only really be him fucking a baby into you to tie you to him forever

-He’ll cry whist fucking you, bc he’s so happy to have you

-It’s kinda sweet in a fucked up way

N’Doul:

-Dio will literally walk you down the aisle lmao

-He’ll keep you in check to give N’Doul his dream wedding

-It’s a huge celebration, filled w only N’Doul’s makeshift family

-You have no one, and are constantly tossed around to be sneered and threatened into submission

-When the reception is over, N’Doul will practically drag you into the bedroom, excited af

-In his eyes, the entire thing is wonderful and totally consensual

-In your eyes, he’s delusional, but a giving fucker

-You cum like five times before he does, and when he does, he promises to give you many healthy children

-At that moment, you realise he slipped his condom off

-Ur totally fucked babes x

Polnareff:

-Wants a HUGE wedding

-Will only marry you when you’re fully in Stockholm syndrome

-Both sides will be there, and everyone is happy

-No one will know he actually kidnapped you and drugged you into forgetting

-Reception is long and joyful, everyone having a good time

-Once in the hotel suite tho, things get hardcore

-Mans will have you locked in a mating press, filling you to the BRIM

-He just wants another family to dote on and keep safe, and you’re the only one he wants to have one with :)) 

[thekinkpopstandsforkillme]

It’s been 109 days days since I asked hehe do you by any chance have the pairing written up yet? I’d love to finally be able to start your work..💕

Not gonna lie... I forgot this wasn't being posted... I really thought I had already posted it...

ANYWAY, part 1 of 5!!

This is being viewed as dom v sub relationships between them, so this is implied 18+ i guess???

chan/minho

* chan is minho's baby!!!! Minho caregiver 100%!!!!

* Chan needs someone to take care of him bc he gives and gives and gives bc he doesn't know how to Not Do That or Stop Doing That

* so Minho gently turns that into Chan being able to Let Go for a second, to Breathe.

* Minho makes sure Smexy Nights focus on chan recuperating and not having to deal with the responsibility of seven other lives

* but also, let's be honest!!! sometimes. things switch up. bc minho is Wine Mom of the group and deals with the Secondary Issues and things get hard!!!

* even then, tho... minho is still hyper aware of chan and tries to make it easier for him

* but yeah. minho absolutely just. takes away everything for chan. and chan loves him so fucking much

* i feel like their dynamic is very push and pull. stable in the way that they are each others rocks but fluid in the way the waves change and bend and fold.

chan/changbin

* changbin needs a good cry sometimes, ya know?? and chan gotta hug n smooch things better 🤷‍♀️ i don't make the rules, i just enforce them idk what to tell you

* chan has to be rougher with him tho. Like. Love wise.

* not necessarily rougher sex wise but definitely rougher love wise

* bc like. changbin is going to Need That Type of Reassurance.

* changbin is def the type of person (at least w chan) that can't always have the soft words

* chan: LISTEN!! TO ME!! 🗣🗣🗣 YOU ARE L O V E D AND B E A U T I F U L AND YOU DESERVE TO E A T AND STAY H E A L T H Y AND IF I HAVE TO BEAT UP YOUR BRAIN IN ORDER TO LOVE YOURSELF THEN I W I L L

* changbin, as his lizard brain activates: oh yes plz brain being dumb need hold

* i feel like their roles really don't flip

* changbin is very much in need of someone to take care of him in the way chan can and they love each other so v v much

* i definitely feel like chan would be more inclined to give his thoughts to changbin without sugar coating things and i think that's super important in their dynamic and it leads into their bedroom life as chan forces changbin to continuously communicate with him

chan/hyunjin

* okay listen. It changes. Hyunjin is too used to bouncing around in order for their dynamic not to as well

* in the way of: chan is still the dom whether he is top or bottom, but their positions change

* bc hyunjin needs control sometimes and je finds it in topping and feeling like he has the power in the situation without actually having the power.

* he's so afraid of it, of himself, and he and chan are working on it, but still

* it's hard.

* but also. Sometimes. Hyunjin just needs chan to wrap him in his arms and squeeze him and help him forget the rest of the world.

* chan is willing to give and give and give until there’s nothing left of himself, but he’s also willing to take and take and take until hyunjin doesn’t think life hurts as much

chan/jisung

* they're soft. so soft.

* and giggly.

* and touchy.

* neither of them would be able to take anything seriously. grinning like fucking idiots while their teeth bump, which only serves to make them laugh harder.

* chan would be the top (and dom), but if jisung is feeling spicy, who is chan to deny him?

* and jisung wouldn’t be able to let go of chan. they’d be touching c o n s t a n t l y. and chan 100% indulges him at any moment

* even so, jisung is Tired Constantly^tm, so he Does Not Do Work Ever^tm

* but he likes being babied :((( let him be babied :((((

* i just feel like it would be fun, ya know??? like they’re best fucking friends above all and they’re cute and in love and they just wanna make e/o happy

* and chan would be super good about making sure both their sex life and their non-sex life stay healthy

* by that, i mean: he would be super careful not to diminish his sexual relationship with jisung to a reward system attached to his mental health

* he'd be super careful that jisung doesn't think they're only having sex bc he isn't feeling well or bc he's feeling better and that he's undesirable when he's not feeling well

* and i think that's super important in all relationships but especially in a relationship like theirs (esp bc i think jisung has really bad rejection sensitive dysphoria)

chan/felix

* baby duckling imprints on mommy duck energy

* like felix does a little !!!!🥺!!!!!

* have you seen fruits basket??? where haruhi is watching over kagura??? and kagura just [is baby] and haruhi just [drops everything!! squeals, hugs, dotes!!]

* yeah that’s them

* felix: [says a single word]; chan: holy shit take my soul just- just take it, no don’t worry about it, here take my wallet too oh my gosh you want food??? i’ve got some in my backpack.

* chan = soft dom, felix = the babiest. like. THE babiest.

* and don't get me wrong-- i'm not trying to infantalize anyone in any situation, i just feel like this is the type of person felix is. he needs constant reassurance and physical affection and blatant, direct acknowledgements to understand that he is enough and doing well

* with this in mind, felix 100% wants to be called good and sweet and pretty and loved!!!

* and chan is INDULGENT. AS HE SHOULD BE.

* and the aftercare??? a straight fucking HOUR of chan holding felix n rocking them back and forth and promising felix that He Is The Best Ever

chan/seungmin

* okay, well, i have a l w a y s headcannoned seungmin as ace

* (shut the fuck up I'm not projecting, you're projecting.)

* despite that, nonsexually, seungmin= biggest bottom ever

* chan= biggest service dom ever.

* that man is wrapped around seungmin's fingerrrrr

* seungmin wants him to walk away from dinner???? Done. Bring him apple slices in bed???? Absolutely. Carry him through the house For No Reason??? Bitch you KNOW it.

* even so. Seungmin is too Good to (truly) abuse the power he holds despite knowing chan would walk to the ends of the earth for him

* so chan tries!!!! But seungmin says 🙅‍♀️ and chan says 🥺 and seungmin goes hhhhhhhhhh okay but just this once!!!! bc he is Weak As Well

* all this to say, i think they have a very give and take relationship

* and neither of them want to take bc they're scared so they keep giving and giving and giving

* and idk maybe sometimes those clashing personalities start a fight, but they work it out in the end and try to do better, to take as much as they give, to realize that it isn't selfish, isn't bad, to let the other take care of them.

chan/jeongin

* jeongin brat. try to tell me otherwise. SIKE! YOU C A N ' T!

* but in the way where chan goes "!! Take care of yourself!!" and jeongin goes "😂 that's cute that you think I'll listen to you 💕 make me."

* spoiler alert: chan does.

* sometimes, ya gotta pin your s/o down and get them to drink water and eat and love themself.

* it's kinda like holding a cat that likes being held but makes you fight for it (in a healthy and non-oppressive way)

* but you'll "fight" them for it bc you love them!! and you'd do anything for them!!

* and you know that they only fight you bc they feel like no one ever put them first in their life so they know if they make you work for it and you DO stay and keep trying, it means you actually do love and value them

* and that's on trauma 😎

* so yeah. Chan will take the challenge. Bc he loves his traumatized s/o

* and i think that's super important as well, recognizing your partner's trauma and taking it into account without diminishing them solely to their trauma

* and chan does a good job of that both in and out of their bedroom

[spockandawe]

Bingqiu

HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

Downsides:

I’m not a... huge fan of the pov character being like ‘i’m not gay, tho! i’m not!’ even though I do think it gets resolved in a fairly timely way. And it fits with Shen Qingqiu’s oblivious personality, haha. But in this case, how do I put this. It played not-great with the book’s pacing (uneven, but I don’t really mind) and a central conceit that I like a lot, which is that our main character spends quite some time convinced that his love interest wants him dead.

I don’t necessarily need the book to linger, directly over relationship development for me to be into it, and I absolutely LOVE a dynamic where one person is like ‘hah, you want me dead’ and has to realize they have things very backwards. But in this case, by the time Shen Qingqiu is coming around to ‘oh, you don’t want me dead!’ he slides right into the ‘but i’m straight!’ side track, and by the time he becomes willing to consider that maybe he’s less straight than previously assumed, we’re practically at the fuck or die climax of the novel.

Which isn’t terrible, I honestly adore this relationship. And I do think that binghe’s breakdown over seeing that he fucked shen qingqiu hits much harder if he still feels 100% insecure that his shizun wants him around, period. But I do sometimes wish that we’d gotten a little more opportunity for them to be... platonically-close-with-background-slow-mo-queer-awakening, if you know what I mean.

Upsides:

Oh lord, it’s hard to know what to say here, because the accurate response is Everything. Let’s see. Well, to start with, I adore the emotional high of reading a relationship that starts on such unstable footing (maigu ridge) and works itself out in the end (that marriage extra tho). Reading about Binghe being so unhappy and lonely and insecure and then being loved will never stop doing it for me.

Usually, a teacher/student dynamic would be not my favorite, but something about the shizunfucker genre clicks well with me for some reason. Especially for a student like Luo Binghe, where we’re told about how much he suffered as a child, and how alone he was, and all the ways that original flavor Shen Qingqiu mistreated him, because then, it opens the door to such an intense adoration of a teacher that treats him well and takes care of him. I haven’t read a shixiong/shidi book that plays with quite same themes, but I don’t think it would hit me in quite the same way (yuwu goes there a little, but even though the ship is great, it's not THIS kind of adoration). There’s something about ships with this sort of intense codependence that really work for me, and this book absolutely nails that.

But also, the power dynamics in here are FASCINATING to me. Erha is the main point of shizunfucker comparison that I have, which really is too small of a sample size to judge from. But I don’t think I’d like either of these as much if the teacher was also the driving force behind the relationship. I don’t just mean that in a top/bottom way, but more pursuer vs pursuee. And to go with that, I do also like how hard Binghe has to pursue to get anywhere with Shen Qingqiu. I like... suffering XD As long as it ends happily. And this book really delivers. Tgcf is romantic and all, but I can’t personally conceptualize eight hundred years. I have trouble visualizing 13/16 years. But three years, then five years? I can picture that, and it hurts. The dream flashback where Binghe is telling Shen Qingqiu that he can’t go on....... that hit me right in the stomach.

Also too, not canon-based, because even if it’s a standard genre feature, I don’t have much patience for strict gong/shou roles, but... For a character as needy as Binghe, this is a situation where I absolutely have no trouble setting aside what the book says and substituting a different reality. And I do love me a pair of switches. And I also love me a boy who is very enthusiastic about sex, and very, very bad at it, which is canon, which delights me. The neediness in this relationship, and binghe’s CLEAR room for growth make me much more interested in exploring a post-canon relationship than I tend to be for the other relationships (caveat: i am still prodding at new depths of hua cheng’s issues, and am much more interested than i used to be, but binghe still fascinates me more)

And this may sound weird, but..... I love me a manipulative, needy love interest. It’s real easy for it to play badly, and it’s real easy for it to leave a bad taste in my mouth, but bingqiu works really well for me. It adds tasty tension before the relationship is established, and once the relationship is established and Shen Qingqiu is well aware that Binghe will cry at the drop of a hat, I still love love love to see him folding like a damp paper towel anyways. It’s a flaw, but it’s a flaw that adds depth and flavor to their relationship that I really, really adore.

Okay, I’m losing coherence here. But I just have to copy one excerpt, I just. I love them so, so much.

Shen Qingqiu said, “The way you called ‘shishu’ was too insincere. From now on, don’t call him that.”

Resentfully, Luo Binghe said, “When he calls me a little brute or a thankless wretch, he’s sincere enough.”

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t resist laughing at that. His folding fan was sitting beside the couch, and he picked it up to give Luo Binghe a few taps on the head. “Was he wrong? You dare lay your wolf claws on this teacher’s body? If you’re not a little brute, then what are you?”

The words came too smoothly, and he himself hadn’t realized that this was pushing the bounds of propriety. The tail end of his words lifted the corner of his mouth, in a way that was frivolous yet heavy, a bit coquettish, and extremely undignified.

Luo Binghe looked down at him from above. Watching Shen Qingqiu beneath him, he felt some sort of fire beginning to burn wildly in his heart and stomach. He subconsciously moved to place a leg between Shen Qingqiu’s knees, but suddenly afraid he’d be kicked off the bamboo couch, he quickly dropped his head down to let Shen Qingqiu swat him with his fan to his heart’s content. “Even if I am a little brute, then I’m only Shizun’s little brute. Other people can’t call me that.”

[hxroccmplexarchived]

@phantasmaw​ said: A, B, C, D, E, G, H, I, T, V for Cain. Nasty ask for nasty boy.

NSFW headcanons || CLOSED

A - Alone time

      The only time Cain can get off on his own is if he’s home alone (he lives in a one bedroom apartment with Cleodora) and if he can successfully steal his neighbors wifi. Cain doesn’t really depend on his imagination, unless he replays a memory of a porn he’s watched recently or a one night stand. The only toy he has is a pocket p*ssy which uhhh is RIGHT on the edge of falling apart. But will he buy a new one? No. 

B - Bondage

      He’s only been tied up and has tied another person up only twice in his life (and unlife). Cain hasn’t found himself in a situation where his partner wants to be tied up, or where they want to tie him up. Really, it’s a blessing and a mystery if he can get someone to sleep with him at all, with the banged up way he looks. But in all, he doesn’t have strong feelings concerning bondage. If he had to choose, he’d prefer to tie the other person up tho! 

C - Crying

         Maybe when he was first alive and a partner was being rough with him, he’d shed a few tears. But dying and being brought back to life with a demon possessing ur corpse kinda has a way of putting the water works on lockdown. Cain hasn’t shed a turn since he’s been revived, and sex isn’t gonna change that. However, if he can get his partner to cry- that only encourages him more. Tears are definitely a turn on as long as his partner’s also having a good time! Full on sobbing would freak him out tho- cry too hard and he might just kill his partner to make them stop instead before going on his merry way ldkjhkf. ( so i.e. consensual crying as long as it’s not full blown wailing is a turn on! )

D - Dominance

        Cain’s for sure a dominant person. I wouldn’t call him a Dom though, he’d be a terrible dom. He just naturally wants to lead and set the pace during sex, but if his partner wants to challenge him on it- it just gets him more hot and bothered. Cain likes showing other stubborn, dominant guys who’s boss. Pinning them down under his weight, locking their arms behind their backs while he goes to poundtown :/// he’s really not nice during seggs, so when finding a partner, he makes sure he finds someone who can handle it. 

E - Extra info

      Cain’s body is weird. The way he died wasn’t pretty- his friends/band members chopped him up as a sacrifice, so when he was revived, the demon had to improvise. Some of his limbs aren’t his, or if the demon couldn’t find something suitable, they just created something on the fly. And apart of those something’s is his genitalia. Yes i give my supernatural ocs weird genitals, no i will not apologize. He does have a dick, not a typical one, but he has one. He also has a hole he still hasn’t really experimented with, but that’s not to say he wouldn’t ever want to. 

He has a thing for fucking in churches, cemeteries, on status of angels, ect. Anything that is considered sacred and holy. he’s just a creachure, he cannot change this. 

G - Group sex

       He’s all for group sex- threeway, fourway, orgy, u name it. The only problem is trying to find enough people willing to fuck him KJDHFK. He’s not really one to want to put on a show, but he doesn’t mind watching others as a way to get off. Like, I wouldn’t say Cain isn’t confident, bc he honestly doesn’t care that he looks like frankenstein’s monster, but he knows he isn’t for everyone and he doesn’t want anyone changing their mind once they fully get a good look at him. 

If his partner ever suggested adding in another person to their sex life or an orgy, he’d give the go ahead! if they’d only do it every once in awhile it’d be something he could end up looking forward to, but if his partner wants it a little too often, that’s when he’ll start getting jealous. 

H - Humiliation

      He LOVES degrading his partner, but if his partner ever tried doing it back he’d only get pissed off lksjhfk. Dirty talk, even spanking or making them beg gets him ready to go. He’d even make someone lick cum off the floor if they were into that sort of thing. like, cain’s gross, he’s into weird stuff and humiliation is just instinct at this point. Again- he only finds ppl he knows can handle it. 

I - Impact play

      OK YEAH, SPANKING- he loves to slap ass!! he doesn’t have anything like floggers or canes, but if his partner did and they asked him to hit them with it? cain’s rolling up his sleeves and getting to work. he probably likes a little too much, but that’s why there’s a safeword, and even though cain’s a freakish mess, he listens to safewords. But again- if someone tried that on him, he’d be ready to fight. Spanking is a no go, but a cane is something he’d be willing to try for himself. He likes blunt objects way more than objects that sting. 

T - Top or bottom

        This is actually tough to say bc like, Cain’s definitely a top. Or at least top leaning but willing to experiment with bottoming. When he was first alive, he bottomed here and there, so he’s not entirely a stranger to it. But because he’s been revived with new body parts, he isn’t sure how it’s going to feel. 

V - Voyeurism

      Watching people fuck or masturbate is apart of his foreplay; He knew about this kink when he was first alive, but was too ashamed to act on it. But now he just doesn’t care. Anywhere that lets ppl spectate and Cain’s there. But as for people watching him? it’s a big maybe. it’s another thing he’s willing to try out, but isn’t necessarily going out of his way to do it.  

[kinkymagnus]

Do you have nsfw headcanons or just in general about the other Magnus? The one in the other dimension?

you are an ANGEL i was legit about to make a post like “oh... im in the mood for twi magnus porn....If Only I’d Get An Ask About It” *sighs dramatically* 

i dont have any specific ideas in mind right now but i just really love twi magnus? and he deserves to be RAVISHED? 

so im just gonna Ramble.

like ok first of all i like to think that twi magnus is,, hm, kind of sensitive

both bc a) canon magnus is touch starved but twi magnus was like “haha you are like a little baby” and isolated himself almost completely for like a century without even hookups and shit, so like. someone PLEASE give my boy some affection. (i am using boy jokingly do not come AT me) and b) ok this is bullshit im making up but i do not care. magnus’s magic has just woken up and didn’t he like canonically say it was part of how he felt/experienced the world? even if he didn’t it’s canon now, fuck you, and like..... it’s waking up again and he feels like he’s opened his eyes for the first time in years, or taken a breath of fresh air--

oh my god i just had. the thoughts. on like, adhd twi magnus and sensory overload. like hnngngnffffhghhhhh fuck fuck he has moments where it’s all too much and he’s feeling different things and his magic is both soothing/helpful while also making it worse kind of, and like, he can hide under a bunch of blankets or take a long shower and like i feel like there’s more here but its just not coming right now.... although i do want alec to help him thru this bc living vicariously through fictional characters but it’s fine 

anyway ayfkjs back to what i was saying 

twi magnus is pretty sensitive and it’s not like he’s actually inexperienced or really even that shy--he’s quieter, and i feel more flustered and out of practice than canon magnus for sure, but it’s not like he’s blushing deeply at the mention of sex or anything. i love the imagery of twi alec, confident dom, being worried on how he’ll gently ease his sweet soft boyfriend who dresses in modest cardigans and the like into bdsm, if he’ll even like it (oh boy would he look so beautiful in handcuffs, or just tied up and begging and helpless, but obviously alec only wants to do that if magnus would enjoy it)... and then he tries to bring it up and twi magnus, who’s distracted, casually mentions his Sex Cabinet(TM) full of toys and bdsm gear

bc he’s not a prude, he was just like.... isolated. and alone. and kind of frightened. but it’s not like he doesn’t know what sex and kink is, or that he doesn’t enjoy it. 

and maybe he blushes a little when he realizes what he’s juts casually revealed--namely, that he loves to be tied up and spanked and called a slut or whatever (magnus just casually talking without like really thinking about what he’s saying if he’s hyperfocused on doing something else, like brewing a potion or painting a tarot card or whatever, and alec loves to ask him harmless little questions and just listen to him ramble on--adhd magnus!)--but alec is just like not only are you precious and cute, you’re also sexy as hell and the hottest man alive

but really tho alec’s just like :O because magnus’s collection is even more extensive than his, DAMN. not what he expected. but you know under all those cute thick layers twi magnus is still, and i say this with deep love and affection, a total cumslut :) 

also he’s just a deeply beautiful and wonderful person but you know we’re talking about SLUTTIN’ IT UP IN HERE

so like anyway magnus. sensitive. stay on topic this time. alec loves touching him all over and pulling noises out of him, kissing him and teasing him and just generally like... one, taking full advantage of him being sensitive (again this is more jokey and i don’t think alec would necessarily stereotype him like this, but i have this image of twi alec thinking he’s a virgin because he’s so sweet and modest and like, so sensitive, just a few dirty words get him so wet, and alec can get him to cum so fast, so like, their first time with penetrative sex alec is out here giving him the most sweet and romantic first time he can, and like, he would have done that anyway but it does feel weirdly special taking his virginity, even though twi alec, woke bitch, is fully aware virginity is a social construct. and then magnus, in a fucked-out post “just got dicked down so good” haze, says that was the best and biggest dick i’ve ever taken and alec’s like,,,,,,,, ah!) so like

touching him, kissing him, making him cum over and over and over again, and like with magnus’s persmission of course he just loves to fuck magnus senseless and make him orgasm over and over until he’s just a wrecked little mess and he’s all fucked out and whining and incoherent :’)

two, like..... ok idk why but i love the idea that twi magnus at first just... cums kind of fast. like their first time alec slides in (and this is after he’s already eaten magnus out and teased his clit a bunch) and magnus is already coming just from that. and he thinks its embarassing lowkey but alec’s just like 1. you’re cute 2. that was super hot 

like literally alec buried himself inside magnus and he immediately came and looked so gorgeous doing it? alec is DOWN FOR THIS.

over time he builds up a stamina again and honestly it doesn’t take that long but like. just those first few times it’s way too soon and magnus is like hiding his face in alec’s shoulder and alec’s telling him how beautiful he is :’)

also ok canon magnus is a screamer and he’s def like... kind of been taught to hold that back, but generally, he’s still pretty loud in bed and with alec it’s not long before he’s confident enough to let himself be

twi magnus tho... he’s firmly like. idk if repressed is the right word, but he’s not letting himself express himself and he certainly isn’t letting himself make pathetic little noises when alec fucks him so like. he’s always biting back loud moans and stopping himself from screaming

but alec starts getting so good at pushing all his buttons (and that first time he came with alec’s dick inside him he couldn’t help the obscene moan he made and alec loved it so much it was so hot) and like, making him lose control that he starts fucking little noises out of magnus more and more until eventually magnus is barely able to stop the whimpers and whiny breathless moans spilling from his lips as alec fucks him and like 

after much coaxing, alec taking full advantage of how sensitive he is, and a few small emotional talks, like... they do eventually get to the stage where twi magnus’s inner screamer is free to scream and beg all he wants :’)

but it still comes after a lot of teasing usually and (with magnus’s consent ofc) alec just.. ADORES coming up with scenarios where he gets to like, (usually after tying magnus up) drive magnus crazy with teasing and then basically fuck him so good he “”breaks”” and ends up being a loud little slut the way they both like it, even if magnus feels like he has to be “pushed” or “made” to do it in order to let himself. obviously he consented to being “”made”” to do it and all that, but like a) he just really, really enjoys alec’s methods of “breaking” him (im a slut for alec consensually!!! “breaking” him into being a little slut ive talked about this with friends many times) and b) it just feels... more ok that way, with weird brain logic that makes him more comfortable and less self conscious with being loud and embarrassing like that

also lmao “man i feel embarrassed when im loud in bed because of my insecurities and shitty past relationships. i know! i’ll make it part of my humiliation kink” 

i feel like twi magnus has less of exhibitionist/humiliation kink than canon magnus, although he def likes it, especially the humiliation/praise aspect (i feel like those two absolutely have to be intertwined for him to enjoy it tho), which like with. canon magnus it’s like aw, big powerful prince of hell crying and begging like a slut, while with twi magnus he is powerful but it’s less controlled so it’s more about how he’s so put-together and modest and “shy” and quiet but here he is taken apart completely, stripped bare and taking cock so beautifully 

but like twi magnus............let him be wooed..........he deserves it... i feel like he’d just be even more into being wooed and just little domestic affectionate things than canon magnus (again both him and canon magnus are the same person in different circumstances and i feel like generally they like the same things, just at different levels, canon magnus also enjoys domestic romance and wooing) but like twi magnus while i think he def would like humiliation kink (albeit mostly in private--maybe once they’ve been married a few centuries he’d be ready for something more hardcore but i feel like he generally would be more private about this, and eventually he might feel safe enough to do that again but like....mmm you know? idk.) i think he would be more into praise kink, and like, while canon magnus is more “mm humiliation kink with a side of praise :)” and loves the praise but also loves alec wrecking him and calling him a filthy little slut and leading him around on a leash, twi magnus is more “mm praise kink with a side of humiliation :)” and he likes alec calling him a slut still but he likes even more when alec strokes his hair and tells him he’s pretty and he’s being so good, and like, he likes being called beautiful and being kissed all over and yes, he definitely like being called a beautiful messy little slut, and being teased, but generally he prefers gentle and soft. that’s not to say he doesn’t want to be manhandled and fucked sometimes, but you know how it is

hey tho one thing canon and twi magnus completely agree on? Being A Cumslut. as they deserve 

they love their creampies what can i say (just little! pastries! that alec makes specifically for him!) 

but like really tho they both love it 

god tho just the imagery tho like.... twi magnus with his cute lil short hair and like his more just overall soft look? and like twi alec, all confident with styled hair and a suit? let them dance! let alec sweep him off his feet and then carry him to bed and they’re laughing and they fall back on the bed and alec’s on top of him, kissing him, and they’re smiling and magnus just feels so happy and loved and alec is just touching him all over and kissing him eagerly, feeling so lucky he gets to have this beautiful man in his arms, under him, in his bed, and like, alec ravishing him, taking off all those layers and finding silk panties and magnus is a little blushy but also like... daring alec to take them off with his teeth you know like ;) 

like sure he’s blushing a little (just a little! and like god again the imagery of twi magnus in pretty lingerie just a little flushed but still very eager? aaaAAAAA) but also he very much did this on purpose (not that he could have tripped into them and then gone about not realizing but you know what i mean) with every intent of having alec fuck him in them (or having alec take them off immediately, either way) 

also tipsy twi magnus being a giggly affectionate bitch who like has zero restraint and will koala alec without shame. he’s so fucking cuddly. and twi alec, “manwhore” extraordinaire, supposedly the heartbreaker playboy type but secretly a romantic at heart, is just giving him the hugest heart eyes and wrapping his arms around him and cuddling him back (also drunk twi alec just being like canon alec’s wedding vows constantly like just. long eloquent rambles on how perfect magnus is. like, drunk twi alec is just facedown on someone’s couch at a party, monologuing about how beautiful magnus is, while tipsy twi magnus is just snuggled into his side, pressed as close as possible and for once unashamed and not shy at all about this,)

god actually tipsy twi malec--twipsy? lmao--having just super giggly affectionate loving gentle sex tbh, magnus is wearing panties and alec tries to take them off sexily but fails completely and they’re both just laughing and loving the moment and enjoying each other??

also again drunk twi magnus being incredibly cuddly and shameless and loud is amazing to me. he will happily give alec a lap dance, but he’ll also happily just koala him and demand alec be his big spoon. alec is thrilled to see him openly asking for what he wants and initiating cuddles bc he knows magnus adores cuddles and affection but feels like he can’t ask for it, so even if it’s temporary and bc of alcohol he still loves seeing magnus so open about it and like, feeling safe enough to be vulnerable with him on this

also tipsy twi magnus using magic willy nilly and he has a hard enough time controlling his magic normally this is so much worse but luckily he only gets drunk with alec after alec knows so alec is just watching in awe as magnus hums and happily dances around the loft and flowers grow impossibly at his feet

and like also just generally he has trouble controlling his magic like things floating around him absentmindedly, or things changing color, or blue sparks on his hands without him realizing... and like im like picturing alec accidentally startles him and he makes the most adorable little squeak alec’s ever heard and then alec’s knocked back a little so he basically just falls over and not even that hard but magnus is like ohmyGODOHMYGODIMSOSORRY and he freaks out a bit and alec’s like it’s ok sweetheart im fine, i’m not even bruised, and also, even if i was: absolutely worth it for that cute little squeak  

AND THE TIPSY SEX THING LIKE ALEC’S KISSING UP HIS NECK AND MAGNUS IS GIGGLING AND FEELING SO HAPPY AND THEIR CLOTHES ABRUPTLY VANISH AND ALEC’S LIKE...........CONVENIENT! AND DOESN’T FREAK OUT AT ALL like magnus has a brief moment of cold almost sober like oh shit what if ive pushed too far and then alecs like god babe youre so talented

and !!! HIS CAT EYES god twi alec had not expected magnus secretly being an immortal warlock would come with sexy cat eyes (of course his brown eyes were also so warm and beautiful and alec loved them) but like he was thrilled they did and distantly he was like should i be more freaked about this? maybe. but honestly he looks so beautiful and he looked way more frightened than he should ever look that i wouldn’t like them, or worse, and that’s crazy bc they’re beautiful and he’s beautiful and i love them

and also he wants to see them full of pleasured tears LOOK I M A S LU T OK 

but like ok one last go i just..... twi magnus and bondage, as he deserves, 

he like, has been strictly controlling himself and isolating himself and protecting himself so long it’s hard to let go so he honestly really loves it when alec ties him up and fucks him into incoherence, makes him lose control, and like. he gets to be helpless and just let go and feel the pleasure, and alec “”makes”” him scream and beg and take it so prettily, coaxes the sluttiest of noises out of him, and like just

twi magnus looks particularly pretty all tied up and naked bc he’s normally so modest and covered up, so he looks even more gorgeous and slutty legs spread and all tied up, wet and flushed and begging for alec, and alec likes to kiss his little tits and grab his thighs and eat him out until he’s sobbing with pleasure, tease his clit and make him squirt until he’s just achingly wet and sobbing and begging for more, and alec takes pity on him and fucks him nice and hard, fills him up, and just like

again gets him out of his shell, gets him to be loud and shameless and pretty and “broken” and afterwards he’s all fucked out, alec’s taken good care of him and he’s all relaxed and he feels so safe??? and like it feels so good to be vulnerable with alec??? he’s all warm and snuggled into alec’s side and he just. has come a long way. 

[normal-thoughts-official]

I remember reading a fic, it was bottom Alec admittedly, but one of the things that stuck with me was how it mentioned that he didn't bottom often because it was overwhelming. Which then got me thinking about autistic Alec and sensory overload and maybe that's a thing you'd find interesting and put your own spin on? I don't know.

jsbsisnsisnssjdn i love how u guys always come to me and talk about bottom alec like it's the greatest sin you've ever partaken in udbdudndudndid really its fine, i mean its not my preference or hc but to each their own

anyway! i did like this question a lot and i tried to think a little about how autism and kink might intersect for alec specifically

tbh idk if i can give a good take on that because- im a bottom, so jdndudbdidnd. i mean of course I've topped but i think it's fundamentally different to top when thats something that you actually enjoy. like not that i dread topping and just the thought of it makes me cry or something but the pleasure i derive from it is...... way less. and more focused on the other parts of it that arent the act of topping itself

so due to that, i dont really know how topping, like, feels? if it's something that actively gets u hot and that u find enjoyable. so idk if bottoming is truly more overwhelming than topping, like. one of my partners is a Top™ and i think he gets as lost in topping as i get in bottoming, its exciting for him, just thinking about it Does Things to him you know xD and admittedly this partner in particular is a very intense person, with everything, but either way he does seem to feel topping and sex as a top and the pleasure he gets from that very intensely, so idk if it would be accurate to say that bottoming is more overwhelming. i think it depends on a lot of things, including the kind of play ur into - like if ur into denial or overstimulation and the such, definitely, but u dont necessarily are into them just because ur a bottom or even a sub (which, u know, are different things)

and my partners who are verses/switches say that it's different but not really more or less intense. just different

but definitely as a dom you get more control of the sensations, at least touch-wise (not much you can really do about noise, smell etc) so there's that. i also think that for autistic ppl theres frequently that feeling of not having a lot of control over ur life and how ur perceived, understood, etc, so domming can get particularly interesting/pleasurable in that sense. on the other hand, there's also the relief of subbing and getting clear instructions and just completely focusing on the tasks u have. or maybe that's my sub agenda. idk

either way i think being autistic wouldnt really sway anyone in either direction (being kinky or not, top or bottom, sub or dom, being into specific kinks etc) but im not an expert, maybe im wrong lol

but well, if you wanna talk specifically about autistic alec who also happens to be a dom/top and how he experiences that, a few things i think could be interesting:

domspace and hyperfocus: like because everything is so intense, the two can feel kind of similar? you know you get into domspace and it’s like, everything is so centered in the moment, but in like the best way possible? i imagine that for him reaching domspace is kind of even more intense than usual (not in a like... Lost In The Sauce way, where he can’t be aware properly, but it’s just, it’s extra good and it makes him feel grounded and present and like the noise in his head shuts up? he’s just focused on pleasuring his sub everything else kind of melts away and it’s basically just that. great intense pleasure and almost calm feeling, you know? i mean again i’m not a dom but. it’s what i imagine/have heard it feels like i guess)

sensorial issues: adjacent to last one i guess but just like reaching domspace and domming and the pleasure he derives from it kind of muffles the sensorial issues? again because he’s so focused and like, immersed in the feeling it all kind of disappears. also i mean, sex includes a lot of movement so yay to that! especially as i dom i think, if bondage for example is involved. and even if there’s like, a lot of touch and noise and stuff (again, magnus Screams) he kinda has control (again, especially as a dom) of how much stimuli there is and he gets and the fact that he derives pleasure from the noises, touches, etc kind of helps muffle them, if that makes sense? because the inside feelings overpower the outside feelings lmao and it’s like that sensation of floating and domspace and shit makes the actual physical sensations less acute sometimes. at least as a sub i do feel that way sometimes, like the pleasure gets so psychological and great i can’t really feel sensations, just the pleasure itself? so it’s like, id have to focus to be able to tell where exactly my partner is touching me, all i know is that it Feels Very Good. idk if that makes sense, it’s hard to put in words 

feeling in control: i mean i feel like alec feels like he doesn’t have a lot of control over his life (look i know that he’s now in a position of power but even then, like, he’s always having to fight the people above them, you know? and he’s questioned at every damn minute because of his relationship. and for most of his life, he was trained to be a pawn, to the clave and to his parents, and hell, he couldn’t even control who he would marry. most of the time alec is fighting tooth and nail to be listened to, he doesn’t really get easy obedience and i definitely don’t think that he feels like he has a lot of control most of the time, which is why being a dom appeals to him, too. don’t get me wrong i’m not saying he isn’t damn competent and important because if he weren’t he wouldn’t have gotten where he is right now, but he’s not really in a position where everything is in his hands. especially with how much he has to endure and swallow up in his life. i see a lot of meta that’s like “alec’s a sub because he needs to let go of the control” and stuff, and while again, to each their own, i feel like this argument doesn’t really hold up when you look at how much he has to fight to be listened to, and that’s why it’s very appealing to have someone just, obey, and feel like the world is in the palm of his hands, not slipping away? that’s a very long parenthesis. and like not that you need to have a Very Deep Psychological Reason to be into kink but usually those things are linked in some sort of way). and the fact that he’s autistic plays into this, because so much of what he feels just has to be overlooked? he’s always having so suppress and/or deal with overload and the frustration of having to follow a bunch of random social rules and expectations and speak a thousand different languages into one (like body language, facial expressions, etc) and it’s like he always has to be grabbing everything by the seams. plus, obviously, he likes routine and method and predictability. so being a dom, being in control of what happens, being obeyed, knowing exactly what will happen during the scene, having the time to plan it and flesh it out, it just feels particularly good and grounding for him?

and like again im not saying that “wow autistic people are doms” or anything, just talking about how these things might intersect in his personal experience, considering his desires and the specifics of his life, his autism and etc

idk i feel like this answer wasn’t very coherent, or interesting, or good, but it’s what i have to offer fuahfiah thank you for this question tho, it was really nice for me to think about

[ellie-sande]

Euphoria- a dumb bitch’s HOT TAKE

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’m gonna do an analysis of the characters I think are the most interesting (read as fuck McKay, he boring as SHIIIITT), so this shit is gonna be looooong. Y’all better brace yourselves UwUUUU 🥺😝😩😈

The episode: I didn’t really feel a strong emotion towards it??? Like, it was definitely the sloppiest episode by far in terms of the way that everything was edited and the timeline of events. It was visually stimulating and literal poetic cinema, as always, but that’s nothing new with Euphoria. I think a lot of the jumps between characters and scenes were completely unnecessary and honestly kind of agitating?? Instead of leaving us with new unanswered questions, we have the same ones we’ve had the whole season? In my opinion, it would’ve been more effective for them to have fully closed some plot points or at least bring them to a point where I’m still interested (I’m looking at you, Nate and Jules plot). But like, overall it's still a pretty decent episode.  I think the ending was messy because we don’t know how much of it was just a music video and how much was legit part of the storyline which is a BIG DEAL. It just came after one of the best in the season, which made it feel significantly weaker. but tHat’S jUsT my oPINION 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Jules:

I think Jules is the biggest wildcard of the season, and we know so little about her, so it’s kind of difficult to understand what her intention is. I think that’s absolutely intentional by the writers because they want the audience in Rue’s head, y’know??? That’s my way of warning y’all that this shit is LONG  🤷🏾‍♀️

When Jules came clean about everything, she was doing what she thought was best for the relationship, which is open communication. She could tell that her not telling Rue about Nate was ruining the relationship (she said so in ep. 7). There was never malicious intent in her telling Rue about her hookup and Nate. She was just doing what she thought was right, and tbh??? IM PROUD OF THAT DUMBASS. One of her biggest issues is definitely effective and open communication and this is definitely a step in the right direction, y’know??

THAT BEING SAID, when I first watched the episode, I thought that her and Anna still flirting or whatevah and being iN loVE was out of character and went against the arc that I was expecting from Jules. BUUUUUT, I thought about it and here’s my take: I think that Jules just wants to be free from the external pressures in east highland, y’know? This whole entire season, her character did not get a fucking BREAK so I totally understand. There’s so much responsibility and pressure for her to be perfect or act a certain way, and for her, running away was the easiest way for her to disassociate herself from that responsibility. No 17 yr old should feel like the weight of the world and the safety of the people that she loves are on her shoulders. My bby @lameparty made an amazing point in our chat about how all of her actions (being more “free” and open about her issues with rue) are futile attempts at replicating the liberation and nonchalant-ness she felt while she was away. It’s her way of desperately (and unhealthily) bringing home that atmosphere.

i’ve seen a lot of people assume that jules is fully aware of her power over rue and takes advantage of it, uses her, and leaves her before she needs her next fix of attention, but i totally don’t agree??? i think that for the most part, jules has been emotionally supportive of rue and has been there for her when she needed her. i mean she did that LITERALLY EVERY EPISODE EXCEPT FOR 6+7 (for good reason. the bitch was going through the mOST). she never wanted or intended for rue to form a dependency on her, she just wanted her best friend to be sober and thrive because her mom was an addict and that ruined her adolescence (for obvious reasons). so when the people around her kept pressuring her with the weight of rue’s sobriety, she freaked out a bit (and for good reason. no one should be anyone’s sole reason to do literally ANYTHING). she knew that regardless of the severity of her actions, rue’s relapse was inevitable if the relationship continued on like that (i mean, in ep. 5, the bitch said WHEN you hate me, not if because she knows that in rue’s current mental state, a relapse, miscommunication, or a wrong step on jules’s side is inevitable). PLUS, jules is an extremely volatile person. her first instinct is to physically and emotionally escape whenever the going gets tough, so i think she knew that this probably couldn’t work.

Moreover, the bitch is embracing her queerness and as much as I don’t really looooveeee how she’s doing it, it makes sense with her character. I think she uses sex as an escape and a form of validation, so of course this is how she’s going to explore her sexuality. She just wants to be free and have fun and be adventurous atm and the whole Nate thing  + being in her first relationship is not IT for her rn and that’s totally fair. That being said, I think her arc is gonna be about her accepting that freedom isn’t just sex and drugs??? It’s way more than that and comes in different (and way healthier) ways, but that’s what growing is. It’s learning from mistakes and figuring out what you like, so I can’t really be mad at her.

BUUUUUTTTT, my bitch said/did some things that i can’t stand by. she said that she loved rue at the train station, knowing that rue is weak for her and would probably give in and come with her on this wild adventure. that is FUCKING PROBLEMATIC. and prior to that, the bitch said that she THOUGHT THAT RUE WOULD THRIVE IN THE ENVIRONMENT THAT SHE WAS IN. WHAT??? as much as i believe that she had good intentions and she really just wanted to explore the world with her girl, that doesn’t negate the fact that it’s still manipulative at worst, inconsiderate at best, and problematic considering the dynamic that the two of them have. i get that she genuinely wants rue to meet her new friends and anna, but all in all, it’s so reckless for her to even consider it. she’s aware that rue is a recovering addict and she was willing to put her in a toxic environment where she would be surrounded by drugs and alcohol, making a relapse literally SO EASY. and on top of that, jules knows that she’s probably going to hook up with anna and considering that rue is so in love with jules, that would’ve hurt her soooo much, enough for her to probably want to numb the pain, y’know??? but all in all, that’s what growing up is. it’s two steps forward and one step back, y’know? even though jules is starting to see the beauty in honest communication and queerness, she did try to manipulate rue, even if that wasn’t necessarily her intention. 

I think that Anna replaces Jules’s older, non-committal man to pine over. She never really fixed her problem of trying to find validation from the wrong people, it’s just expressing itself in a different form. It’s obvious that Anna is significantly older than her (peep the message that Anna sent about being shocked that Jules is in high school) and I think that just like a lot of people her age, she feels special or validated when she’s liked by someone older and more experienced. The relationship is obviously supposed to be a type of foil to her previous relationship with cis white men. Add the fact that there are facets of Anna’s personality that remind Jules of Rue, the gal that Jules is falling for, which makes them the perfect person for Jules to pine over because the relationship is something that she’s used to (texting, non-committal, toxic).

In summary, I think she loves the idea of Anna (independent, older, experienced, free spirited, and fun) but loves rue regardless of the fact that she doesn’t/can’t provide those things for her. I think that jules also associates Anna with adventure and discovery and as the young ambitious bitch that she is, it obviously is an attractive idea for her y’know??? for her, i think rue is the stability, monogamy and commitment that she might not be ready for yet, even tho she loves rue and wants a future with her. Her relationship with Rue is hard work and maybe a bit heartbreaking, but overall, the connection is stronger and the passion and commitment that she’ll give and receive will make the relationship way more fulfilling than whatever half-assed thing she’ll have with Anna.  Next season, she’ll probably come back either heartbroken, unfulfilled or still in love with Rue, but the question is should rue take her back or nah y’know?? She’ll definitely be pining for Rue when she gets back and rue may not be available or willing anymore. We’ll seeeeeeeee.

Rue:

My bitch is in PAIIINNN and I hate it. I think that her saying no to leaving with Jules even if a big part of her wanted to run away with her is amazing progress for her. She finally chose her family and herself first, not Jules, which will break her dependence on Jules. Like, I’m SOOOOO proud of her and she’s come so far as a character. I’m not sure as to where the music video starts and the season ends, but I have two theories. Either she: never actually snorted that line of coke and we’ll see her progress next season OR she overdosed and came back to life. The fact that the song ended so abruptly means that the season will probably start right where it left off. Unless told otherwise tho, the show ends with her crying and remembering her family and all the shit she’s put them through because that’s a waaayyy more interesting arc (EDIT: JACOB SAID THAT RUE’S DEFINITELY ALIVE!!! I KEEP WINNING FR!!! MY! MIND!) She’s no longer a selfish addict with no reason to live. She’s seeing that the people around her, even without Jules there, support her and have been by her side through the most and maybe that’s good enough atm.

Lexi:

against popular opinion, i don’t necessarily think that the big reveal of her sexuality is that she’s a lesbian. to ME, it seems like they’re setting up that she’s ace and probs bi or homo-romantic??? the average sexual person knows who they want to fuck or kiss, and the fact that she has to ask for advice from her sister I think is foreshadowing that she doesn’t know. Not because she’s shy or because she’s a lesbian, but because she truly just doesn’t want to fuck anyone. and if that’s the case i’m SO EXCITED TF??? i’ve never seen that type of character arc on mainstream media and it’s sooo necessary to show that story in a positive light. i think that the show is waaayyy too intentional and clever to not give proper hints at her liking rue. If they were setting up her and rue, they should’ve done more to portray the pining on Lexi’s side. they’ve set up more of a longing for friendship and comfort than anything else and tbh???? that’s wayyy more interesting and relatable for me??? but that’s my opinion 🤷🏾‍♀️

That being said, i could see her and rue together next season bc the foreshadowing is sooo vague that they can do whatever the fuck they want next season. maude and zendaya need to work on their chemistry then bc iTS NOT CLICKING. i definitely think that rue is going to use her tho, which isn’t fair to lexi. additionally, lexi is a bit too soft to stand her ground with rue, and if rue goes down the relapse route next season, their dynamic is going to be the same toxic dynamic they had up until episode 5. She’s an amazing person that deserves better than being an easy out or second best.

i think that because she was raised in her sister’s shadow with a shit ton less attention and love from literally everyone in her family, she has low self-image, so it would make sense that she wants the intimacy that comes from a relationship. maybe her addiction is just being there for others bc no one was there for her when she needed them??? @lameparty spilt the truth tea bc they said that “she exists for other people right now and she exists in the safe + limiting shadow of her sister,” and i think that rue represents a sort of freedom from that because rue is only hers and rue can’t see her as second best to her sister. as a fellow semi-abandoned child turned mom-friend, this makes total sense to me bc she wants to make sure that everyone around her never feels as neglected as she did her whole life.

Rue and Jules: 

honestly, i’m tired of people blaming rue’s relapse on jules not being there. she literally has had MI since she was a kid. this shit ain’t new. and even if it was new,  the fact that so many of the viewers were angry at jules for not being there during rue’s manic/depressive episode angers me for three reasons. a) JULES WAS DEPRESSED. she legit didn’t leave her bed for the whole week, to the point that her father was worried. b) just like jules, rue probably only told her that she was feeling under the weather and that she missed her. how is she supposed to magically put together that rue is going through a depressive/manic episode??? c) no person should be your sole reason to be happy. y’all want a CODEPENDENCY not a relationship, and like i totally understand wanting to protect rue. she’s the main character and we’re always in her head, but from episode three, it was pretty obvious that her definition of love is really skewed. she said that you know that you love someone when you can’t live without them, which is generally reaaaallly unhealthy.

these two are such an interesting dynamic, and tbh, i think they’re actually really good for each other (not rn, obviously). i think this is a case of right person, wrong time. they’re obviously soul mates/star crossed lovers, but the problem is that neither of them is mature enough to be in a serious relationship. rue is a recovering addict with a dependency issue and jules is an overly eager, ambitious person that’s never been in a loving relationship. one of the biggest issues in their relationship is the fact that these two have different wants and needs from the relationship. rue fell for jules almost immediately, has wanted to be with her ever since, and wants stability, comfort, and monogamy. on the other hand, jules wants adventure, excitement, and exploration. jules obviously pictures spending her life with rue, but the problem is that in the moment, she can’t be with rue without hurting her because she’s still exploring her queerness, which means that she’ll have one foot out the door until she’s gotten her fill.

because of that, i’m really proud of BOTH OF THEM for standing their ground and choosing themselves instead of each other. i have no doubt that both of them had a part of themselves that regretted leaving the other person, but at the end of the day, it was what was necessary. 

even though rue was the person that suggested running away, she became hesitant because she finally thought about her FAMILY. y’all, that’s AMAZING character development because, at the beginning of the season, rue literally walked over every person that was in her life in order to get her fix. she stole from her mom, got lexi to pee for her, yelled at fez when he didn’t give her drugs, etc. up until episode 5 or so, rue was an extremely selfish character with one exception: jules. from the moment she met jules, her only goal was to make her as happy as jules makes her just by being there, and because of that, she has sacrificed her comfort in some situations. this is the exact opposite of her previous issue where instead not caring about anyone including herself, she only cares about one person an exceeding amount. both of these are problematic. more importantly, this allows her to finally break her dependency on jules. rue fell for jules and stayed sober for her because it felt like she was her flashlight in the dark cave that is her life, and now, she has to find that jules isn’t the only light. her family, lexi, fez, the rest of the girls are all there AND my hope is that she finds that she can be her own light and do this for herself. as much as her decision hurts both the audience and rue, this shows that she’s not just a stagnant character and that she’s learning and evolving into an amazing person. i’m proud of jules because she didn’t stay behind out of guilt or worry. that would’ve perpetuated rue’s dependency and overall, probably made jules resent rue.

i think that jules was being honest when she said that she was in love with rue, i really do. there was an earnest and almost shy look in her eyes, which was so cute??? but it’s honestly more than that. jules looks for rue no matter where she is. for her, rue is her home and something that she finds comfort in. it was obvious in episode 4 and 7. in episode 4, jules runs to rue because she finds comfort in her. whenever she’s in rue’s arms, she feels a warmth that i don’t think she’s ever felt with anyone else and when she finds that tyler isn’t real, her first thought is that rue has been there for her through thick and thin and is her safe place. it’s obvious why she gravitates towards anna. she sees rue in her, which immediately makes her feel at ease. add the fake deep convo, their sex appeal and the drugs, and you have a hella messy situation. and then there’s the fucking romeo and juliet passage that jules recites to rue that basically says that she’s in love with rue, but thinks everything is happening too fast and will come crashing down. she knows that given that they had more time/weren’t so eager to get together, the relationship would be beautiful and flourish, but they aren’t giving each other the space to grow, which was eventually the end of their relationship (at least for now). 

Kat:

I’m proud of her. She did the damn thing. NEXT

Nate:

I think that Nate and McKay are not all that different. His breakdown this ep is more or less for the same reasons as McKay’s breakdown after those guys assaulted him in front of his girl which is that he felt emasculated by his dad overpowering him. In episode two, he did the same flexing thing after his workout. I think it’s his way of feeling powerful and masculine. All this just shows that he needs fucking therapy, but he’s not just some sociopath y’know? His character is deeper than that and can feel pain and anguish. I’m honestly so happy that they included that because it both shows the abuse in his relationship with his dad which obviously carries into his relationships with women and grounds him as a character. that being said, nate is an asshole and there’s no better ship on this show than nate + electric chair 🥺😝😩(but, i’ll settle for prison or whatevahhhhh) 

all in all, I think that this show has two amazing themes in it which are: teens are waayyy more resilient than people think and addiction comes in different forms and each of them is problematic and selfish. i think that the show is amazing at getting people to empathize with rue, but i feel like people need to realize that in the grand scheme of things, all of these characters are HUMAN and make a lot of shitty mistakes. no character should be cancelled just because they make a mistake, especially when the characters are supposed to be literal hormonal teenagers????? every character on this show is deserving of the audience's understanding (except McKay. FUCK HIM)

[adecila]

Game of Thrones – 8x04 “The Last of the Starks” episode analysis – or who the fuck ever let D&D write stuff

You know I am pretty much like this dude here –

so I will be the woman to lead this ship or so help me all the old gods and the new.

Spoilers, d’uhh.

Aftermath - but everyone has their wardrobe on fleek, hair looking fab and they even had time to clean the entire field of Winterfell

The episode starts with the funeral pyre and how DARE you make me love Jorah even more and twist the knife in my heart. And did you have to show me Theon, Beric, Edd’s and Lyanna’s bodies??? 

RUDE.

Jon is doing a big speech and it is nice and drove the sobbing further, but I get it this is Jon’s turf so he has to be the one making the big speech. That is such a Dany thing though, and I can’t help to think, when put into perspective with the rest of the episode, that it’s yet again a thing Dany has lost. But more on that later. 

The pyres are lit, sad music, more sobbing from me. OOOPS BUT DID YOU CATCH THAT JONERYS EXCHANGE OF LOOKS? Because I did! I can’t help but think how he looks at her for reassurance and she feels it and she turns and she is just.so.broken. And then she cries and I cry again. 

A feast for crows the survivors 

And then we get a feast and suddenly everyone is happy and stuff… ok, I guess life goes on. Maybe Sandor’s crass remark, under the guise of a funny moment, was meant to make us think on it. But maybe that’s too deep for D&D who the fuck knows. 

Let’s talk about Gendry’s legitimisation. 

Dany does it quite publicly, and small exchange between her and Tyrion makes sense. Honestly, if she hadn’t done it herself then and there, it would have come up at a later point, but with 2 episodes left there’s no time. S.ansa does her shady looks because she throws shade and Bran just stares into the void smh. 

In which I am the Hound unimpressed and eating his chicken. 

Davos x Tyrion

The Lord of Light fucked off into the sunset when he saw D&D’s piss poor writing and honestly same. He probably fucked off when he saw Melisandre was still getting his prophecies wrong. 

Every time S.ansa comes into frame my soul leaves my body a bit more because whY THO. 

Tyrion x Bran the 3ER

Cool beans Bran, that’s how you use you abilities? OMG JOJEN FUCKING DIED FOR YOU–

“I mostly live in the past now” - to me this means Bran has become this empty shell of a man and he just visits the past and checks out cool shit. It’s like a kid who gets access to YouTube for the first time. Heck he can even see his dad or whoever else he misses if he feels anything at all now. Because if he doesn’t even have “wants” then? What was the point of it all? God I swear the writers will not rest until they will have reduced all characters to tropes and empty shells of their former selves.

Tormund and the gang around Jon; Tyrion with Jaime ; Dany alone

This scene right here was the beginning of the end. Remember when Tormund was a dude who was in awe by strong women? D&D don’t. He suddenly is so far up Jon’s ass nothing could take him out. Guess it pays off for him in the end since Jon just gifts him Ghost.

S.ansa just fucking stop OMG PLEASE STOP WITH THE FUCKING LOOKS JFC.

But where was Missandei??? Why was Dany alone? And what the fuck was that look, VArYs?? Someone give Dany a hug because my god the isolation is real. Fuck. STOP. TAKING. EVERYTHING. FROM HER.

Never have I ever… thought the writers would stoop so low but here we are

So it’s all fun and games until it isn’t. 

Poor Tormund. Jaime never deserved Brienne and that’s a fact. 

And the mystery of Willa, the sassy Northern girl has been solved! Bless!!!

SanSan, but with more misogynistic undertones than you ever thought

Yeah you know what, I am not touching this scene. Fuck D&D for daring to say that.

Gendrya - or the moment Gendry decided to pull a Ted Mosby 

I feel so bad OMG they did this ship so dirty. However. Arya saying that was expected. But I call bullshit on her never rethinking her decision. Girl’s got a list and she just can’t NOT try to finish it, I mean, wouldn’t you? After you killed such a big boss as the NK? 

At the same time, they would be trying for faux feminism, pulling a Arya doesn’t need a man to be happy. Guess the sex was just to try it? Wow can you believe they cheapened this ship and that beautiful moment like that? 

I’m so sorry babies, you deserved much better. Guess Gendry was always meant to have his heart broken by a Stark girl once he became a Baratheon. Wow. 

Weirdly enough!!! And spoiler maybe?? Leak? Idk. But I feel like Gendrya will prevail (also because she looks heartbroken to reject him like that…). When asked if Gendrya will rule the 7K, Friki said no, these two aren’t made for ruling anything. For what’s worth, Friki mentioned he does know Arya’s endgame and shebis confirmed alive in the Dragon Pit in 8x06 :)

Oathsex

Uff yeah I did not like that. It felt wrong in the context and it felt cheap and I…. yeah IDK. And then Jaime leaves. He could have at least told Brienne that he is he only one who can kill Cersei or IDK, but not leave her like that. Jeesh dude my poor Knight, she is gutted by him. 

Jonerys makeout and chat and hey who wanted angst? Turn on your location I just wanna chat. 

Sooo flip side: I somehow, for the second time, predicted a thing in my fic. HOWEVER D&D keep only getting half my fics because GURL DID YOU NOT GET THE SMUT MEMO? AND THE FLUFF MEMO?

So Dany goes to find Jon, again, who is tipsy, and Jon suddenly remembers to give Dany some comfort for having lost Jorah… 

The set up for Dany saying ILY it’s a bit .. ehh. But her actual words: “He loved me, but I couldn’t love him back, not the way he wanted it. Not the way I love you. Is that alright?” 

A+ scene. I love how he can’t help himself and as soon as she is in his arms’ range he just pulls her into him, BEFORE she asks “Is that alright?”. 

Uff emo side note here, this scene and this phrase reminded me of this song. Listen and sob. you’re welcome.

On that depressive note, wow that make out tho. Two things I learned from this scene: 1 - Jon is horny drunk, which same; and 2 - Jon is a tiddies guy like he dove in and went for the tiddies, which also same. Am I Jon? Is this why I keep guessing his fucking reactions but D&D won’t give me the rest????? We’ll never know.

And… then Jon stops and pulls back. And I KNOW that in the BTS we are told he is disgusted or whatever along those lines, but to me?? That look means he is CONFLICTED. And listen, if y’all wanted it to make it to mean "disgusted" then you should have made Kit do it differently since YOU KNOW HE WAS FAKE GAGGING TO EMILIA EVERY OTHER MINUTE. YOU CAN’T KEEP ADDING SHIT LATER YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES YOU EITHER PUT IT IN THE ACTUAL  SHOW AND THE ACTUAL ACTING OR STFU.

But I guess to me that rejection was more for the general audience than for us. C’mon he clearly loves her, his dick was so hard he was about to nut then and there. Stop bringing your 21st century considerations into a feudalistic fantasy where you have Royals and dragons. Also FUCK YOU VARYS BECAUSE EVEN IN THE NORTH AUNT AND NEPHEW MARRIED SO FUCK YOU BALDIE.

I digress. Then Dany echoes what Jon himself thinks/said - wishing she would have never known. And then we get something that I felt when she was alone and sad at the feast. “I saw the way they looked at you. I know that look; the same way people looked at me, but never on this side of the sea” - yeah so I need a break.

This here - cemented for me what I think the show is doing: stripping everything away from Dany: her armies, her children, her people and the love her people have for her… then Jon. And I don’t mean that as in the sense of some bullshit fleak. No, I mean it in the context of this episode. Because Jon never says I love you back (and maybe @normalisjustafairytale is right and Jon is afraid to say it after Ygritte), and he rejects her, and he says he can’t NOT tell his sisters, even if Dany begs him not to. So in a sense, for now at least, Jon is being taken away from her. So you have all this isolation and losing and losing and then what does she have left? The only constant in her life? The fucking Iron Throne. Because at the moment there is nothing else for her and she probably feels like she will be nothing without it. Hence why she presses to go and take Cersei down. I won’t lie to you, it is cheap writing and very lame and honestly I have read fics a million times better than this bullshit, but they will, at one point, hit us with the boatie reveal, and when that happens, and when Jon fucking finally pulls through and stands by her side, she will have something else, a different constant in life. Moreover, because she realises that the people here in Westeros will never love her, she will have even more of a reason to bow out, say a big fuck you, take her boatie and her hubs and get to her house with the red door. 

This is not just wishful thinking, it is very much D&D, and they will of course “humble the powerful woman” (I puked in my mouth by writing that). But also, my consolation is that with this episode, heck even the people who weren’t necessarily her fans, are on her side and asking her to burn KL down. Which I don’t think she would, but more on that in a different post. God this post is already long.

*bathroom break*

BAck. Then Dany echoes what I also said in my fic ugh I hate myself what we all know and are thinking: it doesn’t matter if Jon doesn’t want it; it matter that there are people out there (fucking S.ansa jfc this fucking UGGHDGugduzdahidfg) who don’t like Dany and will support Jon immediately over her. She is right and he is stupid for not seeing it. 

I guess I also got my bending the knee from my fic. Kinda. FUCK.ME.

I cannot believe that my Queen had to BEG him and Jon had to be so naive. BOY DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE LESSON FROM YOUR FATHER? Two can keep a secret is one of them is dead, Jonno. Did you not watch Pretty Little Liars??? Why the fuck do you think Ned Stark didn’t tell his wife?? LMAO she would have sold him just like S.asnsa blabbed on you, guess the J___sas were right, it was a bit of a Ned x Cat parallel, probably Cat would have sold Ned also in a fucking instant. Dany is absolutely right. This shit cannot be contained because you don’t know how people would react to it. 

“She’s not the girl you grew up with” … BOOM.

I love how he cradles her face into his hands MY FUCKING HEART MY HEART.

Pause. The part where she begs remind me of this traumatic moment:

… fuuuuck. Anyway.

And I love how she turns the tables on him. But Jon… is still Jon for plot reasons I guess. Maybe he didn’t understand why Ned had to keep the secret for so many years. 

The end of the Northern plot - BYE NO ONE WILL MISS YOU

The Starks can choke. They are cancelled. 

Yeah no. Bye. Fuck S.ansa or Sandra, who the fuck this OOC shitty ass character is. Fuck every single one of them. Wow, emotional manipulation at its finest. I just love how they basically called this episode the last of the Starks because they just character assassinated all of them. Edit: LMAO you know what this is? The shitty family that pulls over one member and tries to break him up with his wife, for the sole reason they don't like her. Because fuck their brother's happiness. Because they are fucking selfish people.  

Jaime x Tyrion x my headache

Let’s add to the list of cancelled people Jaime and Tyrion just for that fucking chat.

“I will pay you double” ex machina, and that’s how the Bronn issue is solved. Just as Friki said, btw. 

Arya x The Hound

So I guess Arya just fucking lies through her teeth now smh, since she was guilt trippig JON JUST MOMENTS AGO and she just up and leaves BECAUSE FUCK FAMILY I GUESS 

Tyrion is suddenly afraid of Dany so I guess we are supposed to excuse Sandra’s petty shady jealous ass 

Sandra is fucking jealous and insane. Littlefinger will be proud. Her face though. This fucking bitch doesn’t like that he is a Targaryen LMFAO she is scheming so hard bahahahahah

She is fucking cancelled. They murdered her character the moment they took her out of the Vale. FIGHT ME ON THIS I FUCKING DARE YOU.

Jon x Tormund x Ghost - say your goodbyes

Hey hey hey so that line where Jon belongs in the North? The real North, which for Tormund is North of the Wall since he calls Winterfell the South? Guess where those waterfalls from 8x01 are?

Jon is the worst dog owner KILL ME.

Fucking Sam Tarly

Jon was like yeah no don’t name your kid after me. Interesting how he could tell from a hug that Gilly was pregnant. Hope Dany starts showing soon *wink wink boatie is still coming*

The IT or Southern plot

Tyrion x Varys

I cannot wait for Varys to die. Like, he is spewing inaccurate information and then, he is suddenly against Dany and suddenly only Jon is a war hero. Just because he has a dick. Fuck D&D and their sexist asses Also VArys keeps talking about the realm LMAO YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE? I see kings dying all around you, and the only constant it’s you. Who is the problem, I wonder? 

Euron ex machina

Makes no fucking sense. But I guess nobody cares anymore.

Yeah I screamed when Rhaegal died. And I screamed again with Dany.

I guess Dany couldn’t just fly behind Euron’s ship and roast them all for plot reasons. 

Dragonstone mess

Fuck you, Varys. And fuck you, Tyrion. Not you, Greyworm, ILY *hugs tightly*

BONUS: FUCK YOU JAIME FUUUUUCK YOU FOR LEAVING BRIENNE LIKE THAT. BYE BITCH GOOD RIDDANCE.

King’s Landing mess & the shitty ass parley that even Captain Sparrow could have organised better

Ew how much time has it passed since Cersei is already claiming to be preggers? 

“So much for the breaker of chains” - is again, a sign they are trying to strip Dany of everything she has and is. 

Tyrion and Qyburn - ew, but also Qyburn has a point, why would Cersei surrender? Oh and I think the point to save Rhaegal from the NK only for him to die at the hands of Euron is to further handicap Dany and make the Cersei threat real, and have a reason to keep Drogon away from KL - HAVE YOU ALL SEEN THE SCORPIONS EVERYWHERE?

Ugh Tyrion stop trying to get Cersei to love you LMFAO she doesn’t. But I know, it is hard to break from toxic relationships and abusers. Tyrion told Cersei “you are not a monster” and she literally went “HOLD MY BEER”.

Missandei’s death made me sick to my stomach and traumatised me for life. We should all collectively agree to NEVER give D&D our attention again and never let them write anything again. 

Missandei hatefully spewing DRACARYS as her last words was so strong it made me start crying because holy shit this was a peaceful person, and for her to show this much hate and rage was so gutting…  fuck me. I am crying again. I think she also meant, besides from the obvious, “there is no reasoning with these people, so why bother. Might as well blow it the fuck up.”

And Grey’s reaction wow - again, I was about to puke, despite the scene not being the most gorey on GoT, but it was so intrinsically and viscerally wrong my mind could not deal. 

In conclusion

Poor Dany, she has lost everything. EVERYTHING. She is literally at her lowest. After the discussion with Jon, she slipped back the Queen mask - like you can pinpoint the moment she does so! And she keeps it on in front of everyone else but her dragons.

I am expecting a very very cold (but very fragile inside) Dany in 8x05. I am expecting her to push Jon away. Oh and at the ending of 8x04 she totally just gets up on Drogon and goes back to Dragonstone. No way she does anything yet so soon.

I haven’t watched any of the BTS and Making of videos, nor have I watched the 8x05 promo. Will do soon.

Stay strong, jonerys is still going strong. I am here until the very end and I still think this will end with jonerys together. Will it be good writing? Nope. But it will end well. As I keep saying. We’re missing the “sweet” in this fucking “bittersweet” shit show. Stop saying it ends badly because of 8x03.

If you need me, you know where to find me. Image of me in the fandom. Except I charge nothing.

Oh and PS: FUCK D&D.

[touchmycoat]

kinktober: day 5

Day 5: Subspace

I’m venturing into the realm of sub!Marco for the next few days

safeword!anon I hear you, and it’s something i’ve been thinking about and planning for and researching on for a while!! so far, this is the closest i’ve come: pre-scene emotional safewording lmfao (I’d really, really love to work out a full concept with actual safewording during a scene tho)

comeplay anon i hear you too i’mma take us there with the rest of this fic

part of the Second Chances verse

(first section is subtitled, “Ace and Sabo have clearly been to therapy, but make questionable decisions anyways”)

//

“Honestly I think he'd cry.”

Sabo blinked, slowly drawing his fingers out of the mess of den den mushi security wires and add-ons, etc., that he'd been absentmindedly working on throughout the conversation.

“In a good way?” he asked, dropping the glibness he tended to favor in discussions about Marco. For that, Ace was grateful. Not that he's ever bought Sabo's preferred facade of cool and crass, but it was still nice to see it fully falling away when it mattered.

“I don't know,” Ace replied earnestly. He too turned his full attention to Sabo, sensing the potential for seriousness simmering in the words between them. Whatever they decided today would have major impact on what happened with Marco, next time they were all together. “I mean, does he even like this stuff?”

“'Course he does.” Sabo sounded certain in the way he sounded when he wasn't. “It's been like, six months.”

“Well yeah, I know we're not forcing him or anything like that.” The words stuck uncomfortably to his throat, but Ace knew he had to get them out. He hadn't been sitting on this, at least not consciously—but he was only now beginning to realize, on this deceptively easy-going afternoon, catching up with Sabo, how much this had been unconsciously bothering him. “But going along with whatever we want? That's kind of his thing isn't it?”

“So you're saying,” Sabo's tone was like gathering storm clouds, while his body language went completely still and precise, like the alignment of a blade-edge, “that his ancient, crusty ass has been wanting vanilla fucking sex this entire time—”

“Okay, he's not a total pushover, I wouldn't go that far—”

“—but that he's probably been holding back and not telling us what he actually wants, out of some misguided idea of letting us explore ourselves or whatever? That sounds possible?”

Ace sat in confirming silence, frowning and letting his palms sink deeper into the bed. Sabo scowled, vicious and protective.

“Ace, your boyfriend's a bastard.”

“What, have you dumped him already?”

“I'll have killed him already. Next time you see him he'll be a decomposing corpse. Ace. Ace. If that's what he's really doing I can't be held responsible for what I'll do to his idiot ass—”

“You know how sometimes,” Ace said loudly, interrupting the tirade, “insecurities get the better of us?”

It was, in fact, something they've talked at length about. Ace could see Sabo visibly retrace his steps to anger, struggling to deflate.

“I mean, how did we even get here?” Ace was retracing the steps himself, trying to process all the sparking under his skin that's making him want to jump headfirst into the nearest bar fight. “We were only talking about the possibility of tying Marco up.”

“You had to get real with the crying thing,” Sabo grumbled. Ace idly kicked at him, boots thumping against his shins and leaving dust marks on his trouser legs. “Fine. Are we being irrational?”

Seriously considering the question, Ace could tell that Sabo read the answer on his face before he even had to say it.

“No,” Ace announced warily anyways. “I don't think we are.”

“We have to talk about it.” With him? Sabo wrinkled his nose. “I'd much rather just beat him up. You hold him, I punch.”

“Well hey,” Ace said, brightening up, “there's an idea.”

“You want to—” Marco was so surprised, he actually pushed Ace away to arm's length. That was probably a good sign, Ace thought. “Really?”

Sabo, draping himself all over Ace from behind the way he knew got Marco all kinds of riled up, grabbed hold of Marco's forearm. Hard. All three of them eyed the point of contact and its obvious part in the play.

“Is it so surprising?” Sabo asked, voice giving none of his underlying anxiety away. It made Ace uncomfortable, keeping something from Marco (particularly something as sensitive as this), but they had agreed this was the only way to truly see what Marco was doing. Besides, it didn't have to go too far. All Marco had to do was say no.

“From you? No yoi. But from you?” Marco turned back to Ace, not incredulous but still generally puzzled. Ace swallowed. “Ace? You really want this too?”

Ace could feel the weight of Sabo on him like reassurance, but he could also feel the warmth of Marco in front of him like... some call to morality, perhaps. It's not like Sabo was pressuring him to do things this way—in fact, this was Ace's idea to begin with. There was just an aura of deceit about this whole scheme, one that wasn't necessarily benign and harmless, that made Ace question his own starting judgment.

And yet, if Ace were to take the question at face value, the answer wouldn't fully be no. If Marco had asked, before this whole mess of insecurities cropped up, the answer still wouldn't have been no. Ace was curious, after all. Wasn't that the point of this whole endeavor, to explore and satisfy curiosities with trusted lovers?

(Wasn't that the shatterpoint of this issue, to be able to trust Marco in their exploration together? Instead, Marco had, unexpectedly, left them unmoored in quicksand, untethered on the high seas with their doubts about the nature of Marco's constant agreement to their requests.)

(No, Ace would go through with this. Anything, really, to get to the heart of this.)

“Yes,” Ace answered, and even Sabo reeled, just a bit, clearly having thought Ace would call the whole thing off. Marco wasn't quite frowning, but that wasn't the expression he typically reserved for Ace either. “I do. But if it's not something you want, Marco, we don't have to do it.”

Marco, clearly deliberating, looked between Sabo and Ace, searching for something that Ace couldn't figure out. Looked down at Sabo's hand.

“Tonight?”

Sabo shrugged, insouciance a total feint. “Why not?”

Say no. We know you don't want this. Just say no.

“Okay,” Marco answered with a shrug of his own, though one of the more wide-eyed variety. “If it's what you really want, that's fine by me yoi.”

Both Ace and Sabo must've done—something with their faces, because at once Marco's expression shifted, and he held out both hands in a placating gesture to pause. Sabo's fell away, leaving a red-rimmed white handprint behind.

“Or,” Marco said slowly, “you can tell me what this is really about, before we break out all the chains and whips yoi.”

“Marco—” When Ace started speaking in a rush of breath, Sabo straightened from his calculated drape, but left a squeeze the back of Ace's neck in clear support. Marco saw the gesture for what it was, and frowned. “We need to ask you something.”

Anything, yoi. That was what Marco's eyes said, but somehow, with great intuition, he said instead, “go ahead.”

“Why would you say yes?” The frustration manifested like kindling catching. Ace's hand moved in a gesture of corresponding feeling, and to his dismay, when he accidentally brushed against Marco, Marco pulled away. “We know you don't want this. How can you just agree to whatever we want to do?”

“Was this a test?” For a moment, Ace thought he saw a flash of anger in Marco's eyes, before they went blank. Maybe the squeeze to Ace's neck that time was a gesture of warning from Sabo, but Ace could hardly deflect now.

“Yes.”

Ah, it hadn't been anger, it had been hurt. Marco had never been overly invested in hiding away these sorts of feelings, and the hurt came across clearly now, as he drew his arms up to cross over his chest. Sabo insinuated a gesture like he wanted to reach out, but a quick warning glance from Marco left it unmanifested. It left Marco closed off, completely apart from them, and Ace instantly felt a wave of regret for not stopping this when he could've.

“And what exactly were you testing for?”

“We thought you might be agreeing to everything we want without actual thought to what you want,” Sabo stated bluntly. It was the bluntness born out of guilt though, the tone of confession before the guillotine came dropping down.

“And what,” Marco asked through gritted teeth, “gave you that idea?”

“Are you kidding?” Ace replied faintly. “It's all you do.”

The silence sat like dust motes in the air, present, but unmanageable. Left to float and irritate with no chance that Ace could catch it in a nervous palm. Sabo's hand too floated away, leaving the three of them islands unto themselves, distinct and disparate bodies occupying the same breathing space. Marco's breathing space, Marco's bedroom. Ace wondered if he and Sabo should get out, got more and more ready to bolt with each passing second.

Which made Ace's flinch all the more jarring when Marco suddenly dropped his arms with a sigh. He still looked guarded when he gestured with open palms at his bed.

“Look, can we sit?”

(cont’d)

[alexredgrave]

Ok this is gonna come off weird and I swear I don’t mean to put down what you like or your preferences or anything like that! I was wondering if I could ask you to list why you like Jason Brody as a protag/character? What’s traits of his you enjoyed regardless if they were redeemable traits or otherwise.

Don’t worry, it’s okay! 😊 I get he’s not the most likeable character and I always love to talk about Jason 👌👌👌Okay, so:

As a character, I think he’s very well written. You gotta look at the intent far cry 3 is written with: to make fun of the recurrent white savior/ridiculously average guy turned hero trope. (Genius gay writer) Jeffrey Yohalem wanted to subvert and condemn stories like that, to unveil the toxic masculinity, sexism and racism inherent in them. He said the bad ending was supposed to be a sort of punishment for people who didn’t “get it”. (It may not sound as anything ground-breaking but it takes a two second google search to see how it went over the head of so many straight male players how Citra was not your usual “woman as a reward”. There is a scene where she drugs Jason and rapes him in front of an audience while he is uncoscious and allucinating and they still see it as a hot scene because her titties out.)

But I’m getting sidetracked. The point is, Jason Brody isn’t a hero, not even a antihero. He’s not only a parody of the hero trope, he’s a subversion of it.

Most protagonists experience a growth; they end up somewhat better, more than they started off. Does Jason grow? No. Actually Jason, who was a bit of an ass from the beginning, turns into a progressively worse person as the story progresses. He gets more adrenaline thirsty than he was, violent, unstable, self absorbed, arrogant, rude. I could go on.

It’s true that he do helps the locals and rescues his friends, but the more you go on, the more it all feels like collateral damage. True, he loves his friends to a degree but ultimately I feel he would sell them all (with the exception of maybe Riley) for a bag of chips. Even when actually helping the locals, you can see by the way he talks to them, condescending when not outright insulting, how little he actually cares (most notable is the side quest when he’s told a lot of people keep disappearing near a lake and his reply is “then like, don’t go there?”; he eventually helps the man but not before calling him an idiot. Also, a recurring line of his is “fuck you”).

What Jason cares about is feeling important. You see, he doesn’t even really care for Citra, he met the chick a few weeks prior, but she tells his he’s supposed to be this Legendary Rakyat Warrior and he likes that concept A LOT.There’s a whole thing to say about this, Jason wanting to feel important, because it’s not really explicitly said but it’s implied that Jason used to feel like a LOSER. His files says he only ever worked odd jobs and got in trouble for doing reckless shit since leaving college. Meanwhile, look at his friends: Grant is a Sergeant, Daisy is a professional swimmer, Keith is an investment banker, Liza is on her way to become an actress, with an important audition coming up and Riley just got his pilot licence. True, Ollie is not doing much but the guy is so rich he won’t have to work a single day in his life.Can you imagine how it must have felt for white middle class american boy Jason being surpassed by all of his friends while he’s still struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his life? It doesn’t matter that many don’t know at 25, society tells you should have everything figured out by then. Especially since the guy had great scores in college (also mentioned in his file) so people likely had HIGH expectations placed on him. No wonder guy felt like a loser, no wonder he was frustrated. And no wonder he’s so relieved and outright giddy when he think he’s found his talent, his vocation (“For the first time I know exactly what I want”, he tells Liza. He also tells Daisy that killing feels “like winning” which speaks volumes not only about his current state of mind but also about his personality. Jason is competitive but not that used to winning anymore).This is good writing, in my opinion: a realistic, truly believable motivation, far better than love or revenge. If Jason had been doing all that to save his friends or to avenge Grant, he would have stopped at Vaas.

He also serves as a sort of mirror to the player. He enjoys the violence in the game as much as you do and, for the first time, he’s not rewarded or praised for it. There’s two possible outcomes to his story: he dies like he lived which is, as a dumb asshole or he tries to do the right thing and he lives but again he has not goals, he compromised his relationship with his friends and girlfriend and, by his own admission, it’s unlikely that he can ever overcome the trauma and readjust to normal life (“I’m a monster, I can’t come back from this”). Whatever happens tho, his dreams of glory are utterly shattered. The fact that he killed Hoyt and Vaas can’t even be considered an achievement because that wasn’t his goal, it was Citra’s. Jason actually walks away with LESS than he walked in with. Sad but also GOOD👌 because he honestly didn’t deserve any better.

So (to me) he is a good character. Well written, organic despite being a little over the top and despite actually having not that many lines. And good character is not necessarily a good person. But, despite Jason having many vices and being overall unpleasant, is he a bad person? Actually, he’s not, he’s just a victim. Jason is 25, insicure, not the smartest and he gets kidnapped, his brother is shot in front of his eyes and dies in his arms, he’s chased through the jungle for Vaas’ amusement and he’s forced to kill to save himself. That leaves him very traumatized. Psichologically, he’s at his weakest, most vulnerable state. And Citra exploits this weakness. She pretends to help him while actually manipulating him through lies, drugs, sex and his own insecurities to get rid of her enemies for her, all the while planning to kill him (while we know she lied about why Vaas left the Rakyat and went to Hoyt, whether she is lying about everything or she actually believes he’s a legendary warrior and even likes him in a way, we can’t be sure. Personally, I think she believes some of it but that’s a talk for another day).

Ultimately, I like him because of how very beliveable, different and refreshing he is as a character, how organic and real he feels to me. And I like that he’s so unlikeable, too 😂

I think there’s stuff I forgot to mention but this post is already super long so Imma stop here. You can talk to me anytime. I know a lot of people dislike Jason and I understand why. I’m okay with that so we can get along even if you hate his guts, ahah 😘

[kinkymagnus]

Do u think after marriage,magnus would try to be good enough for Alec...Whether in sex or in regular life? Would try to be "perfect",not let the "spark die"?:)) would try not be a brat and be good for Alec during sex but for more angsty reasons than kinky?

you are absolutely correct and now i’m crying, thanks pasta

i strongly think that like. after that breakup magnus is gonna be MESSED UP. they don’t really talk about it in the show but alec--for good reasons or not--hit him right in the absolute worst insecurities. and even if he later finds out that alec didn’t leave him for breaking down or being upset or being a “burden” or losing some sort of spark, there was still that long moment (hours? days? even longer? not sure what the piece of shit timeline even is) where he was devastated, crushed, and absolutely certain that all his worst fears were true, and he was unlovable and worthless without his magic, that the worthwhile parts of him just boiled down to his magic and what he could do to help people, that he couldn’t break down or be vulnerable with people he loved because then he was burdening them, he had to be perfect and happy and flawless at all times

that’s gonna fuck a guy up, my dudes! 

so magnus trying way too hard to be perfect and unaffected by everything and do whatever alec wants (it’s not like he suddenly goes into Complete Pushover Ragdoll Mode but like. he’s suddenly a lot more willing to do whatever alec wants even if normally he might banter--like maybe alec wants to order pizza and normally magnus would tease him or they’d debate the pros and cons of pizza versus chinese jokingly, but now magnus is just like “i mean okay :)”--it’s mostly silly things, things that don’t bother him that much, he just.... would rather not risk it. just in case. he tries to make himself more--pliable. likable. his use is in helping and giving, so he will help and give all he can. he doesn’t always succeed because he can’t just Stop Being Himself no matter how hard he tries but he tries. so. hard. meanwhile alec is like magnus is acting a little weird. i hope he’s okay and starts trying to make magnus feel better even tho he doesn’t necessarily know what’s wrong.)

and like if he’s upset he hides it, if he has nightmares instead of cuddling closer into alec’s arms or letting alec comfort him he hides them, or leaves the room (he hasn’t done that since the body swap so you Know it’s serious) because he can’t break down, he can’t burden alec, he’s happy and fine and look! he has his spark! he is happy and fine! haha!!!!!!! he is perfect and there is no need to leave him!!! all alone!! and sad!!!

and then during sex!!! magnus normally likes to be a little bratty, he likes to tease, likes alec to snap and “make him take it” you know, it’s fun for both of them and it lowkey makes magnus feel safe bc he can push and push but alec only ever makes him feel good for it, you know? does that make sense? like he knows his boundaries with alec and knows where they stand, and he knows that when alec “snaps” it’s about making magnus feel good, and he knows if alec was actually uncomfortable or annoyed he’d say something.

but now magnus is afraid to push, he’s afraid to go too far, to be annoying or to upset alec. he isn’t sure of the boundaries anymore, because if he let himself be vulnerable before and then realized he’d misstepped and “burdened” alec, maybe he’s wrong about this, too. maybe alec’s actually annoyed with him. he just wants to give alec what he wants and not push it. 

plus, feeling less assertive in setting his own boundaries--being more likely to go along with something even if he isn’t in the mood, because it’s fine, alec wants it, and it’s not like it will hurt, why is he being such a baby (i feel like alec notices this tho, he’ll be kissing magnus like they’re bout to start taking off clothes and he’ll notice magnus seems reluctant and will just. slow down and magnus is always relieved) 

and just generally he’s so much more eager to please. he already was before but now it’s more prevalent. he just wants to make alec feel good, wants to please him, wants to be good enough.

and if maybe he doesn’t want something, well, it doesn’t really matter, does it?

i do feel like magnus would be in a bad enough state that, especially after a while, he’d be willing to completely ignore his own wants/needs/boundaries during sex for alec’s sake. however, i also think at this point alec would know his boundaries and what he likes/dislikes pretty well, and would notice if he got really uncomfortable, so it wouldn’t turn into magnus having sex he really doesn’t want to have, even if it could from magnus’s actions alone. if that makes sense.

but eventually you know they gotta sort that shit out!! and talk!!! alec noticing magnus is pushing himself too far and never letting himself be upset and being more Agreeable and pliant than usual and being like...magnus....are you okay....?????

idk how this breaks, either something forces the issue (like a “Reveal A Secret Or There Are Consequences” or a truth spell or mind reading/telepathy or dreamwalking or some sort of situation that forces magnus to talk about his feelings or alec to confront magnus) or magnus just snaps (has a breakdown again?) or alec confronts magnus strongly enough that he ends up giving in and hesitantly admitting his feelings, the point is eventually alec Finds Out 

and he’s fucking heartbroken that magnus feels like this, that alec inadvertently broke his trust and made him feel like he can’t be vulnerable around him

and of course, magnus doesn’t blame him (which is partly because he’s way too forgiving of people who hurt him oops) because he understands the choice alec makes, and understands that while he would have wanted alec to COME TO HIM, part of the deal was that he couldn’t and alec would never have forgiven himself if he’d lost magnus’s magic for him forever. he understands logically that alec didn’t leave him for “being a burden” and isn’t using him and does love him, but he can’t help how he feels and what his previous experience have taught him and all the niggling doubt at the back of his mind 

but alec just hugging magnus tight and then they talk and Healthily Communicate and alec is just. trying to get magnus to understand that he isn’t going to leave magnus at the drop of a hat and loves him. obviously this isn’t solved in one talk, but like, alec works on showing his love for magnus Even More and encouraging communication, for magnus to accept comfort and be vulnerable and show when he’s upset, and like. also alec just like. stays. time helps, you know? it’s easier to believe alec isn’t going to leave him when alec has been with him for eight centuries and counting with no signs of leaving :)

just...magnus slowly healing, both just. himself, learning to be confident in that again, and with alec’s support. and like, standing up for himself more (i wanna be clear again it’s not that he’s suddenly become a total pushover who lets people walk all over him. it’s specifically he’s scared alec will leave him, and insecure about being “too much”, and he hides his imperfections/negative emotions and bends a little more to what he thinks will please alec because he doesn’t want to be left alone. it is NOT he’s suddenly got a submissive personality or that he wouldn’t stand up for himself in a serious situation.) and setting his boundaries more (and AGAIN alec isn’t crossing lines, it’s more this willingness to concede them that magnus has that is Sad. and maybe sometimes it pushes it before alec notices or magnus says something, but not like, anything Serious, you feel?) and like, during sex teasing more and starting to push again ;)) 

dgflkhjfgh this whole response feels incoherent and badly worded but it’s fine