#this isn’t even a ship post. yes they flirt if neither of them are romanced and they have fun banter regardless

[revivivivify]

everybody I see complaining about Lucanis and Neve interacting in any way at all or even being in the same room is weak and will not survive the winter

[valenhell]

From the studio that brought you “I can’t find good Byler fics in the ao3 tag”, comes:

"The Definitive Byler fic rec list"

Literally no one asked for this but because I spent the majority of last year (...and 2019, and 2018...) reading byler fics and coping with life, I thought I’d make a list of some of my absolute favorites. 

The other day I was basically starving for some byler fics and the angel @magicalfairy provided me with some of her faves so I thought I’d do the same, because I love reading, and I love all of these fics and I appreciate their writers💗 And fic writers in general, come on!

- This is a mix of long works and one-shots/short stories. - Everything is mostly fluff with a tad of angst and a lot of internalized homophobia conflict.  - Every fic is completed, except for the ones I mention that they are not. - I try my best to lay out the stories in a way that I won’t spoil you the plot but also warning you of some stuff you might don’t like. Either way, all of these fics are correctly tagged by their respective authors/owners, so read at your own risk. For better understanding, in between brackets I denote Rating, Words and quantity of Chapters. - I feel like I should clarify, none of these are narrated in the singular first person. None of that “And I told him...”, no. 

Long fics

a dream always the same (T, 99k, 35 chapters) What happened in those few weeks between the Battle of Starcourt and the Byers leaving Hawkins. Literally a satisfying and very needed fill in of season three, with a good dose of Mike’s thoughts and conflict. Mike’s characterization is specially amazing in this one. The writing style is amazing and I know the author put everything into making it historically accurate, and it was really sweet. You probably read it, it’s by the amazing sevensided here on Tumblr🧡

Spring Break (T, 120k, 14/15 chapters) The slowburn of my dreams. Lots of internalized conflict and conflict with each other. Conflict within the Party (uhh kind of), conflict with Mike and Will. Byers family has moved and the kids are visiting! Chaos. Characterization is on point. Yeah, I know it’s unfinished, but the fourteenth chapter actually serves as a pretty nice ending. 

This is where it starts (M, 148.8k, 24 chapters) Aged up characters. The Party is in college and Will disappears again, but now it’s different. Mike knows he didn’t vanish from thin air, and the discovery he and the Party end up making is pretty insane. Mystery solving/fantasy/third dimension, throw in a bit of D&D and Mike realizing some shit, and you get this marvelous fic. It’s a breath of fresh air. The world building is definitely one of the elements that stands out the most, because it’s very nicely described, it sounds like a dream and it’s completely immersive. Absolute gem of a fic. 

there’s a Starman waiting in the sky (M, 30.6k, 8 chapters) Do I need to say anything? Will is out there living his best life and Mike realizes that wow, umm, maybe his best friend looks a bit too nice with that costume... and wait, is he getting horny? It’s actually really fun and sexy.

The Evening Speaks (T, 23k, 7 chapters) In where Mike is a late-night college radio host and Will is the art student that stays up till late to catch up with Wheeler on the Mic. They flirt through songs y’all, this one is really sweet. 

heads or tails? (E, 24k, 3 chapters) Aged up characters. I know most people don’t enjoy sex in fics and with specific characters but this one is insanely well written. It’s a slowburn that commits to the tension and with every word you are grasping and anticipating their next move. I think you can find the author here on Tumblr as yousaidyes🧡

The Man of Average (M, 56.7k, 5/? chapters) Aged up characters. No but you don’t understand, the writing here is absolute gourmet. The story is exciting as well, it’s super interesting. Weirdly enough, for being very aged up characters, they are well characterized but they don’t feel like teenagers. They are naturally Mike and Will. The author really captured Mike and Will’s essence. I know, it’s unfinished and it’s updated very rarely, but this is the typical fic you can’t believe someone just posted on the internet for free. I will say though, I think it’s definitely not for everyone. Read at your own risk.

Heartstrings (E, 82.8k, 24/? chapters) Aged up characters. By the same author of The Man of Average. A collection of memories, the road to Mike and Will’s happy ever after. And fucking hell!!!!! You’ll cry and get angry, you’ll cheer for them, then you’ll want to crash their faces together because god dammit you love each other!!! But yeah, same thing here. The writing and the way the story is laid out as a nonlinear narrative is brilliant. And I also think this is one of the best Will versions I’ve read. The author might as well be the og creator of this two characters tbh. You can find the author here as mylesimeblr🧡

Sinners behind the walls (T, 1.5k, 1/1) And because I can’t stop recommending this author, a little thing of Mike tormenting himself but also being too deeply committed to Will. 

The Red Envelope series (T/E, 167K, two completed works) Something happens that Will thought was impossible and from there, pure drama and romance. Anything by this author has the potential to become your absolute favorite fic, but this series in particular is amazing. I doubt that any of you haven’t read this, but it doesn’t hurt to put it in this list. I’m pretty sure the author is serendipitous-magic on Tumblr🧡

A New Fight series (T, 91k, two completed works, one WIP) And finally the Star Wars AU that we all needed. But this isn’t your typical “Mike is Han”, “Will is Leia” and “El is Luke”, it’s way more interesting than that, and the author has appropriated the Star Wars world like no other. I’ll admit I’m not a 100% fluent in SW lore but this is amazing to me either way. This author is also on Tumblr, tea-for-one-please🧡

- Yes, most of these are (if not all), in a way, canon compliant/canonverse/canon continuation into fanon. (In a way)

One-shots and short stories

Sundae for Two, Please (G, 4.8k) Steve being the supportive friend and older brother these kids collectively need. (not Jonathan erasure, we love him). Steve is very sweet himself, and this little cute thing through his POV is gorgeous. Yes, it’s byler.

Backstage (T, 10k, 2/2) Jonathan, you forgot to mention to Will how hot your new band’s guitarist is, dude. Now he’s hyperventilating and weirdly flirting with him in the corner. Background Stonathan because why not.

102 Peach Street (G, 3.8k) Established relationship, but not only that, they are married :’’))) PURE fluff. Extreme fluffiness. Diabetes. 

sweatshirts and bottled up feelings (T, 3.2k) Or, Mike thinks that the sweatshirt Will wears looks insanely good on him. And kitchens are for lovers. 

kiss it better (T, 16.3k) Basically one of the best character studies of a few precise moments of Mike and Will’s relationship and feelings. 

will wonders ever cease (T, 11.3k) #i ship will and happiness. Omfg what a beautiful piece of fanfic. Will centric, this kid really deserves all the good in the world.

The Calm After the Storm (T, 1.6k) Tooth rotting fluff, boyfriends in love. Boyfriends being lazy, cuddling, love words, kisses. Boys loving each other’s company... Basically, Mike and Will in their element. What more can you ask for?

neither of us ready to let go (T, 4.8k) That scene from season three, but a bit of a fix it. 

Still in love (G, 1k) Domestic, married life au fluff. Y’all, I’m a sucker for established Byler, even if I can’t find many fics with it. But this is very sweet. It takes place in 2020, but I don’t think there are any mentions of the COVID-19 crisis that I remember.

I Nver Find Out ‘Til I’m Head Over Heels (G, 12.5K) Classic 5+1 fic. If you haven’t read it, where have you been? This is your moment. In where Mike keeps inviting Will to the school dances and Will thinks it’s just a joke until he realizes it’s not. 

Before You’re Gone (T, 5.9k) Will is leaving Hawkins and Mike thinks this is a great moment for a confession. This one I discovered last friday, thank you friend @magicalfairy 💗

You’re weird Wheeler (M, 4.5k) Mike unintentionally starts a tradition of going to each other to talk about their sexual encounters just after they finish. Will keeps getting more explicit with the details he shares, and he makes his best friend interested. This one is really fun y’all.

Out-Of-Town Friends (N/R, 4.6K) It’s not rated. I haven’t re- read it but I’d say it would probably fall in a T rating. So cute!! Will has new friends and sneaks off every friday and the Party doesn’t know where he is going, so Mike decides to follow him and is surprised. 

Snowed Under (G, 1.3k) By the same author of The New Fight series. Mike is spending christmas by himself in college because a snowstorm hits Chicago and Nancy can’t drive to see him, but then he has a surprise visitor. Ahhh just a lil sweet holiday fic. Super cute. 

you love me anyway series (T, 7.1k, three completed works) Literally just the cutest thing ever. Established Byler. Will loves to take pictures and he loves taking pictures of Mike. It’s adorable. 

you wanna be friends forever (i can think of something better) (T, 9k) This one is so amazing. So. Amazing. From Will’s POV, my kid deserves the world and he gets it. 

okay not to be okay (T, 4.9k) Mike is a bit sad but then everything is okay. 

can’t hold out forever (G, 18.4k) Y’all!!!!! 5+1 sweetness. Mike has been falling in love since kindergarten. And it’s long af, you’ll enjoy it. 

even if it takes forever (G, 1.3k) College short AU, they miss each other, they love each other, they promise all to each other. It is sappy y’all.

clear as day (N/R, 18.4K, 4 chapters) It’s not rated, but I’d say it falls in the T category. Strangers to friends to lovers. And also, everyone is pretty gay; we have our dynamic trio Mike, Max and El as disaster lesbians (and gay). Will works at the library and he is also gay. Lucas and Dustin and Will are the best friends we needed. It’s very sweet and the Party is kind of formed here!

I went overboard with the one-shots, so you must have realized how much I love long one-shots and I favor them over long works lmao but they are all amazing!!! If it’s on this list, I probably read it at 2 am, sobbing in my bed. So. Hope you enjoy it☺️🧡

[phoenixyfriend]

Re; Ahsoka and Quinlan being the same age, now I'm picturing Ahsoka, Quinlan, and Rex eventually ending up in a weird sorta thruple where Quinlan comes in and out of the relationship but the door is kinda always open for him? And Rex spends a lot of mornings eyeing the tangle of orange and brown skin on the other side of the bed like he has no idea how he ended up here but he's (mostly) okay with that tbh

Context: Commander Buir in chronological order

YES okay so this is wild to me that people are invested in this but like half the time-travel fics with Ahsoka in the same age-group as Quinlan have me wondering if I should ship them. Let me just. Ho shit.

So, okay, I've explored a lot of possible dynamics but there's something really engaging about how Quinlan, trained as a Shadow before the Sith came back, could react to a War Padawan. Ahsoka isn't really infiltration material yet, she's very much a frontline fighter, but she's got a lot more experience with a kind of consistent dark atmosphere that most Jedi don't. They get exposed to plenty of dark stuff, sure, but not the kind of all-encompassing "this is my life for the last two years" thing that is usually reserved for the long-term field agents like Shadows and Watchmen.

The War Padawans, for all that they were supposed to be just normal Jedi Padawans, were living in the kind of consistently negative environment that's normally experienced by those Knighted Sentinels.

So Ahsoka, while still generally pretty young in these AUs, is a very odd kind of person to be around, because she's spunky and vivacious and snippy and affectionate and snarky and knows how to break every bone in your body from harrowing experience as the only thing standing between death and thousands of brothers.

And Quinlan, I imagine, really likes that about her. She gets it, and she's still an energetic and loving and trying to do her best to be a good person despite everything. He gravitates towards her and she... well, she's not blind. She can tell he's interested. And she's not upset about that.

ANYWAY, ONTO REX

So, Rex is... technically twelve. He hasn't exactly got a whole lot of experience with romance. He is also, up until the point of time-travel, legal property of the Senate and the Jedi Order, which means that Ahsoka, or at least her community, owns him. He was indoctrinated to serve her and that community. She also outranks him, for all that she usually lets him take the lead in the field due to experience. He's older than her physically and maturity-wise, but she's also had a grow-up-faster-than-you-should adolescence, and she has superpowers.

What I'm saying is, the power dynamic is fucked up.

(Unironically I spent hours last night realizing that it balances out a lot more than C*dywan does, which I'm censoring because by god do I not want discourse on this post. I like both ships, and don't want to argue about what's the most problematic. It's Star Wars. The only unproblematic ships are Bail/Breha and Owen/Beru.)

Here's the thing, though, because the main thing people seem to argue here is the age/maturity difference as a problem area:

The age difference in actual time is four years, which is smaller than the two main ships of the franchise (Han/Leia and Padme/Anakin, to be clear). The age difference in maturity is ??? We'll say that the clones started aging normally after they hit twenty, so the age difference in maturity is six years... which is still normal for SW ships.

(This is why I don't have any issues with the ship in a post-O66 context, once they've had a few years to move past the traumas and whatnot. The age stuff all evens out with time, they're a good team, and neither was grooming the other. It's not objectively any more problematic than most SW ships at that point, and I'm okay with that. They deserve to be happy if they want.)

But they get yanked away from all that structure of who owns what, who reports where, who has which rank, who's legally a person in the eyes of the Republic when they end up on Dagobah. Once they've registered when they are, the only remaining complications are:

He grew up in a cultlike environment and was indoctrinated to serve her (but has been replacing that indoctrination with genuine respect and affection for her as a person because they've worked together for two years).

She has superpowers (contextually not a big problem: we see several Force-Sensitive/Non-Sensitive ships that don't consider those powers a complicating element)

He's several years younger than her (canonically less of an issue than it could be: Cut got married and has kids) and has next to no experience with what a normal romance looks like except for hanging out on the edges of whatever the fuck his General has going on with the Senator

She's several years less mature than he is (...something of an issue)

So a lot of this is mostly okay. She feels weird about the fact that she's got more knowledge of romance and all that it entails. He feels weird about the fact that, despite her being older, he looks at her and sees someone that's still a little young, not quite a shiny. Except she is older than him, and he's seen her behead four people in a single move, and they've saved each other's lives more times than either of them can count anymore. He respects her, and the fact that she's babyfaced doesn't change the fact that, in terms of who they are as people and warriors, they're on a level playing field.

She still looks at him and mourns his lost childhood, and he still looks at her and takes a moment to see past the too-big eyes and adolescent proportions.

But they really, really care about each other, and maybe part of them is starting to recognize that there's a bit of a crush before they time-travel, but neither one wants to make a move. There's a lot of baggage on both sides, a lot of "but they're a child" and "but they're (literally vs functionally) below me in the chain of command, I can't take advantage of that" and all that fun stuff. It's the kind of situation where two people circle each other for ages without making a move, because actually making that move is terrifying on account of not knowing whether the other party knows they can say no, on top of the usual "what if it ruins our friendship?" thing.

What happens on Dagobah, though... is very tropey. They're sort of stranded until Ahsoka can fix the ship, and that takes time. The area is also very heavy with the Force, dense and heady with the energy it carries, and it's... actually really not great for Ahsoka. She keeps feeling like she's back on Mortis, and has nightmares from the trigger there, but also keeps hallucinating because she wasn't ready for the thickness of the energy (like Yoda) or still new enough to the Force that she couldn't feel how dense it all was (like Luke). She can't work on the engines as constantly as she'd like to get them out of there, and while Rex is a competent mechanic, he's not as skilled with it as the girl who jumped headfirst into lessons with Anakin.

Rex spends a lot of time holding Ahsoka and wiping her brow with a wet cloth while she's feverish and out of it. Yes we're going full Florence Nightingale romance here, let me have my fun.

They get the communications relay working earlier than the engine, find out the year is wrong, panic a bit. All is well. (It's not, but they're holding it together for now.)

Ahsoka keeps working on the engine when she's lucid. Rex keeps hunting up game and edible plants for them while she does. They cuddle at night, because it's not cold but it is empty of the people they care about, and they kind of want that reassurance of someone they trust and love at their back.

(Morai visits.)

(Daughter shows up in the nightmares, tells Ahsoka that age will not come for her beloved until the time is natural for it. The phrasing is dumb but she does manage to convey that the accelerated aging is no longer an issue, if it even was after they hit adulthood. Ahsoka is relieved.)

And, you know, emotions happen. She takes his hand while they're leaning up against each other. He kisses her forehead while she's having a bad spell. They cook together and tell jokes to keep sane and spar. They hug each other through nightmares and panic attacks. There is much blushing. There is much cuddling.

Once, they kiss.

They break apart, flushing and stammering and being very awkward about the whole thing, and make excuses to leave and panic about the fact that they!! Kissed!!!!!

A couple hours later they find each other again, and have a long and complicated discussion about why they like each other (war makes bedfellows, there's trust and affection and all that fun stuff) and why they're hesitant (age stuff, maturity stuff, prior indoctrination), and make the decision to take it slow. They cuddle, and kiss, and blush a lot because both of them are basically just dumb teens having their first real relationship.

They eventually leave the planet, make it to Coruscant, etc. It takes a bit for anyone except Obi-Wan to realize that something's changed between them. Most people didn't know them before, and Anakin's observation skills are currently at a very low ebb. But they sit together and hold hands, and flirt when they spar, and once or twice people find them kissing (both standard and Keldabe) in a corner while holding hands and then just smiling at each other like loons.

They end up rooming together because nobody has the heart to separate them after hearing about all the war stuff. Like yes attachment's bad, but these two do seem to understand loss of loved ones and recognize that they could lose each other at any time and death is natural and they won't lose their entire shit about it, and if even General Kenobi is anxious as hell about being separated from the people he fought side-by-side with for two years, then maybe it's just... really normal for those two to want each other's company, and everyone can just turn a blind eye to the romance happening.

They share a bed, but they only ever sleep in it. Like, there's some goodnight kisses and cuddles, but everything is very G-rated until they've had time to settle into being true equals instead of just the "well, I guess the power dynamics balance out? Maybe?" of before.

And just... yeah. Rex does not believe that he's in this good of a position whenever he has the time to think about it. He's got a girlfriend! A really pretty, smart, strong, skilled one! Who thinks he's a cool dude! How the fuck did a clone like him manage that? He wasn't even legally a person a year ago, how did he end up in bed with one of the most amazing people he's ever met? He spends multiple nights just staring at her while he tries to fall asleep, asking himself how he got here and just like... marveling at her. She's worth marveling at. He's in love and she's amazing and he has no idea how to handle it at all.

...yeah no I have a lot of feelings now.

[cateringisalie]

My list of bearable Binal Bantasy VII tags is thinning...

But seriously. Being skeptical of Tifa’s narration of past events is not without merit. By the time the Lifestream scene rolls around she has been through three comas and some grevious injuries. The Lifestream scene is as revelatory for her as it is for Cloud.

The new assertion she was in any way actually friends with Cloud is not only in conflict with the OG’s portrayal but counter to Cloud’s development, her development, the growth of their relationship as adults and why (in general) people have them stay together post game.

Its unnecessary, frustrating and further damaging Tifa’s character who is spinning off further from who she was.

That Tifa and Cloud were not actually childhood friends does not mean they do not have a relationship in FFVII. It does not mean they cannot be together. Tifa “falling in love” with Cloud at the water-tower does not for a second make their later relationship any more meaningful.

All this new ship information does is make the relationship have longer longevity than previously assumed. As if whichever relationship has lasted longer is betterer and stronger. As if this should automatically undercut any other relationship Cloud or Tifa can possibly experience.

(in fact - and darkly cynically - this feels a lot more like enforcing that Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith operate in near exactly the same way. The pairs fall in love in record time (two years prior to the Nibelheim incident both times as far as I’m ware), the boys go missing and the girls never move on with their lives. I get the boys have gone missing without a shred of explanation or closure, but now for both of them people are willing to wipe out a quarter of their lives waiting. Teenagers are resilient you know? They will be inconsolable if this happened but they would bounce back a lot faster and cleaner than they would expect. The approval of the never moving on this is purely to keep the shipping uncomplicated. There can only be one pairing for Tifa, there can only be one pairing for Aerith. And if you think otherwise you’re wrong in canon. And who wants to write or read about a non-canon ship? Unless its yaoi/yuri in any case. I am so tired)

Childhood friends incidentally is not, however much some insist, a common trope of the series - unless you stretch it a fair amount and it encompasses a trivial number of the pairings. And none of the big ones (you know; Squall/Rinoa or Tidus/Yuna).

Could Tifa do with more backstory? Of course. Did Tifa’s mother deserve a name? Absolutely! But not like this. Not when Cloud helping round up cats in Remake is now tied to finding Tifa’s cat in a new authored backstory. This speaks again to the constant magpie-ing of existing imagery and moments from older parts of FFVII to feed the present. The retconning in of importance by changing the meaning of otherwise unimportant moments.

Tifa is not and never was under any obligation to like Cloud as a child. She did not bully him, but neither should she expected to involve him in anything she did. I understand the book has muddied this gloriously, but for what effect?

I mean, I know where the desperation to make Cloud and Tifa childhood friends stems from. I know why you want Cloud to have fallen in love with Tifa at like age 5 or something and for Tifa to fall in love with him at 13. And I rail against it all the time that its not necessary. Being first does not mean better.

Maybe I am old, cynical and exhausted, but I kind of like watching Cloud and Tifa grow closer in FFVII. I like watching Cloud and Aeris grow closer in FFVII. I like to experience these things where I can... experience them? I don’t like reading books which assert things in blunt statements that clarify exactly what the writer intended. I certainly don’t have the patience to wait for a later book to clarify what happened on-screen when I have drawn my own conclusions based on my preferences. Especially as this is all contributing to that continued sense that the OG is a smelly, badly designed embarrassment we would rather tiday away for the crime of being graphically inferior (never mind it was championed on its looks on release) and “goofy” (and apparently unable to run the gamut of emotions I remember from serious to comedy, to silly, to tragic, to pessimistic and quietly optimistic and moving).

I’m coming back to this point to stress it - I want to see the relationship growth. Remake gave me that for Aerith and Cloud even if the details aren’t to my taste. First meeting is awkward because hey, random stranger/Cloud is tired. Cloud gets involved and spends more time with Aerith. And the high-five thing is used as a clumsy/awkward/eh but clear metaphor for how their relationship develops over the course of their time together.

To the point that yes, it makes sense for Cloud to want to rescue her. Less sense for Elmyra and Tifa to be “Well they might not vivisect her” and then delay for two full chapters, but the whole thing flows.

And here’s where I get accused of being a fake fan: I don’t like how Cloud and Tifa’s relationship develops in Remake. Flirting. Tifa being mildly fazed by Cloud claiming its been five years. Scared when he almost kills Johnny. Maybe hurt depending on your resolution scene (hey podcast people! No Gold Saucer multiple dates because too expensive? How are there branched resolution scenes in Remake then?). But there isn’t growth. They seem to fit into each other’s lives without worry, bit of flirting, strange super-intense moments jammed into inappropriate sequences (the train roll, climbing the plate, Cloud remembering the promise unprompted, Tifa not actually engaged with Avalanche’s plans). There’s no sense anything has changed between them, the missed five years has done anything to them.

And I’m sure some would take this as proof of correctness. But... somehow Remake is better for realism despite a lot of new clumsy, but this relationship is not dinged for being implausible? No way does that five year gap not seriously impact any prior relationship to say nothing of developing from scratch.

See this was a neat thing about the OG; while Tifa seemed to have an edge over Aerith by knowing Cloud longer, he was in effect meeting them at the same point in his life and more or less starting from scratch with both. Both ships are valid, and even if Cloud is with Tifa come the end, it doesn’t mean he can’t have romantic feelings about both women.

Oh, but Nojima has changed his mind/always intended it this way. And? I can change my mind about liking what he’s written - and my patience and tolerance of Nojima has waned massively since 1997. To the point where his involvement invokes a pained groan from me.

Plus the hilarious attitude that this is from the same people who insisted “the OG will always be there, stop moaning about Remake”. Well guess what? I don’t like Remake and I don’t really want it around. The OG is better.

Yes, Tifa is under-served and sure, it could be clearer about shipping (but the apparent hostility to ambiguity and personal interpretation is deeply distressing. These things can mean something to you and don’t have to mean the same thing to everyone. Interpreting the romancs - again - not a competition).

BUT

I will take the OG version of Tifa where she believed in the cause, where she had friends (again, yes, the relationship between Tifa and the rest of Avalanche is not well depicted, but it was better than actively curtailing it), where she ran a bar THAT ACTUALLY OPENED AND SERVED CUSTOMERS, where she hated Shinra, where she didn’t know how to treat Cloud because she had only really talked to him once in her life and DESPITE THAT that they great closer and spent their last night before THE END OF THE WORLD together over the Remake.

Where Tifa is wary of Cloud for about 5 seconds, twice and then defaults to constant flirting. Where Cloud is near smothering Tifa every second they’re together and she doesn’t tell him to fuck off once. Where she’s allied with Avalanche but hates their methods (and the pacifists are in a shop around the corner and she is not with them because...?). Where she has some absurd contrived plot about medical bills and buying Seventh Heaven for Barret and Marlene.

Which would lead to a whole other rant titled “Marle is the Worst” but this has dragged on quite long enough.

But seriously; if you argue that we can’t hate Remake because OG is always there, then you have to stop applying Remake back to OG and using it as proof. Which is exactly why many people bemoaned the Remake at all. OG is one thing, Remake is another. I don’t care for the latter.

And I know if anyone does read all this it will be about the meanie Cleriths who diminish Tifa for no good reason. And yes, they are indeed acting in bad faith. But what makes you think for a second evidence will convince these people?

In particular, the argument has raged so long and always will because if people do not like a ship they will not accept it as canon (if they care about this as a factor) NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS. Literally. Look at Loki if you want the most recent example of this.

Canon is to many “what I want” and often does not tally with the general interpretation. And you know, if being “canon” or guessing right early wasn’t triumphed as such a vital thing, we might not get these really terrible and pointless arguments.

Canon is a prize but here’s the big secret: fandom - in general - does not care. FFVII is an excellent case example given Sefikura overwhelms the other ships (and I think AZGSC is close?). And that’s not canon. That’s not even in the ballpark of the Cloud/Tifa vs Cloud/Aerith arena (even give that the former is roughly twice the size of the latter, you already won, so please stop?). Canon is only important if you think its important - and you get some more official art of sequences you can gif. And maybe you get kissing/implied sex/marriage/kids, but most of all you get a smug sense of superiority. And the last is why I have no patience with this.

[thewriting-corner]

‘Renegades’ trilogy by Marissa Meyer: review

Welcome today to a post I have been waiting to do for months. I never do entire posts for book reviews, but since this was a trilogy (and one of my favorites I read this year) I decided it would deserve a little more.

Note: I will be doing a spoiler-free review first and then I’ll put a warning before talking about each individual book :)

Synopsis: The Renegades are a syndicate of prodigies—humans with extraordinary abilities—who emerged from the ruins of a crumbled society and established peace and order where chaos reigned. As champions of justice, they remain a symbol of hope and courage to everyone... except the villains they once overthrew.

Trilogy Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I honestly think these are the best books I’ve ever read. The description was fascinating, easy to follow and gave amazing imagery without that heaviness that a lot of fantasy books have (this is more sci-fi/dystipia-ish but still).

The characters felt real and their individual voices were clear from start to finish. I loved every single character, even the ones I hated. 

However, there is one thing that bothered me BUT it does align with their world and that is the lack of accountability certain characters recieve (but I will be talking about that in my Supernova review).

Then the PLOT OH MY GOSH. I mean, it’s superheroes. It’s nearly impossible to be original with a plot that isn’t the same as any Marvel or DC comic/movie/show. And yet Marissa Meyer that such a beautiful job of taking a common conflict (heroes vs villains, villains wanting to take over the world) and turning it into a unique plot with amazing twists. 

I mentioned the world-building before, but I’ll do it again. Third person POV is not my favorite and neither is heavy world building like the one this book needed and had. Still, it was written in such a simple way that I didn’t feel like she was trying to confuse me, it was just a story.

Overall, this series was amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone looking for a fast paced, mind-blowing world building and compelling characters that will make you feel single to the core even in a relationship.

🚨Spoilers Ahead🚨

Renegades ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“We were all villains in the beginning.”

I went into this book with low expectations because I didn’t think I’d like Marissa Meyer’s style and boy was I wrong.

The first few chapters were a bit confusing but the moment Adrian fixed Nova’s bracelet I KNEW this would steer towards romance and it sold me. And then Nightmare making fun of the Sentinel for his comic book phrases and poses was my favorite thing ever. That would be me as a superhero, no doubt.

I really liked the way the plot progressed “slowly” without feeling dragged on. In fact, despite it’s slower pace of the story, the book still felt quick and that just won a million points with me.

Don’t even get me started on the Anarchists. I LOVED them. I like how they weren’t presented as villains from Nova’s POV, just enemies of a totalitarian state. Not even just in her point of view though. I genuinely didn’t think any of them were bad until Ingrid decided to show up at the library and almost killed Sketch’s crew.

And speaking of Sketch’s crew … the minor characters??? Hello??? Who writes side characters that are SO good?? Oscar is my favorite though. He wins. Danna being the only one to question Nova about Adrian’a feelings for her was hilarious, although it stressed me out that Nova put her to sleep. Counterpoint: it was very cute that the only way she could stop thinking of Adrian liking her was by putting Danna to sleep. Very on point teenage reaction. I would’ve done the same thing if only I wasn’t trying to remain anonymous in the organization that indirectly killed my parents. 

The climax, on the other hand, felt a teensy bit rushed but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy Nodrian in their not-date. It was adorable, especially when they stopped at the kid’s party and then Nova panicking over the mere thought of going on the ferris wheel with Adrian. All the carnival chapters where my favorite thing ever and I really wished they hadn’t ended with Nova killing the woman who raised her. But I did like the irony of it being Ingrid who told her she didn’t have the guts to press the trigger and then she died at the hands of Nova’s gun. 

AND THE ENDING WITH ACE BEING ALIVE. That shook me. I suspected it, of course, but it shook me to my core. 10/10 plot twist there.

Archenemies ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“I guess I figured you deserve to have good dreams every once in a while. Even if you never sleep.”

This one gets six stars because somehow I read it in 11 hours and I’ve never read such a large book in one day. The entire story was just fast-paced action, superhero world building and Nodrian flirting and eventually kissing. Best book ever.

I liked how in this book we got a closer look into other character relationships like Oscar and Ruby and then Danna’s suspicions over Nova. I would’ve liked to see more of Danna’s friendship with the team though, since at times it seemed she was only there to send passive aggressive comments at Nova. And the Sentinel’s “death” was amazing. Pure comic book material right there. 

There is this thing though that I mentioned in the general review that bothered me and it’s when they reveal Agent N. This weapon they created using Max’s blood is a great example of how the Renegades had obtained way too much power. It’s when we start to see that maybe Nova and the Anarchists are right. The Renegades are slowly becoming a dictatorship and it’s bothersome that nobody except Nova and Adrian notice. Especially when it was so obvious with things like them using Agent N “against every prodigy who didn’t follow the Renegades code”. Sure, they were criminals, but that wasn’t about arresting them. It was about changing the DNA of people who made one mistake and were immediately deemed enemies of the state.

Back to the good stuff, Nodrian flirting was the highlight of this book. They’re both so awkward and adorable, especially when Nova’s teaching Adrian how to shoot and then when they’re in his room later on. The whole “you want me to ignore everything?” and “you’re not allowed to have girls in your room?” quotes KILLED me. Those were peak flirting moments and I’m immensely surprised by the way that Marissa Meyer manages to write teenagers realistically as an adult and not even having teenage kids of her own. Also, Nova opening up to Adrian was just. No. It killed me. My ghost is writing this btw.

The ending, once again, amazing. I loved it. Not only did it once again show Frostbite’s true colors, show us how much hate Adrian actually held against Nightmare and the way Nova had softened by the Renegades’ influence. And Ace Anarchy’s capture goes into the good things pile.

Supernova ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

“To be honest, I’m not sure there are such things as villains anymore. Maybe there never really were.”

Is it a bad review if I just insert the word “AH” for the next ten lines? Yes? Damn it. I admit that I was expecting something much different, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. I have never cursed and squealed so much by reading and had I not bought the hardcover with my own money, I would’ve thrown that book against the wall. It stressed me out. First of all, getting Nova and Adrian kissing in the tunnels a few chapters before Adrian arrests her for being Nightmare was another level of messed up. Clearly, she did everything in her power to save him from her house’s explosion and he threw it out the window in blind anger. And then the whole execution thing??? That was horrifying and it’s when the Renegades’ incompetence really showed its true colors. They couldn’t bring the people back to their side - because they failed - so they sentenced a broken, dying man and an underage girl who acted under the manipulation of her entire family, to death. If Hugh had ever even attempted to find out what happened to both Artino girls, none of that mess would’ve happened, but instead Lady Indomitable died and he went “WELL, can’t do anything about her last task, can we?” I get he was preoccupied by her orphaned son and the Ace of Anarchy, but it was as simple as going back into the house and searching. In fact, this entire book was just showing how their society was crumbling and in the end they went “we were all heroes”. I’m surprised Nova forgave the entire Renegades organization for what they did because even if it was Ace who sent a hit after her and her family, the Renegades were still willing to overuse their power. 

And once again back to the good stuff before I end up bashing the Renegades even more, I never thought I would be on board with Adrian and Nova’s relationship at the end of the book. I try not to ship toxic relationships in YA because they happen a lot and I wouldn’t like younger readers to think that it’s okay, but I loved how both Nova and Adrian were willing to make a change for their relationship to work. They compromised because they loved each other so much it didn’t matter who had tried to kill the other person and their dad or who hadn’t advocated against the other’s execution, you know, the ups and downs of every relationship. While I do wish we had seen them talking about everything, I get a book can only have a certain amount of words and I was glad just the same with how it ended. Also, Leroy’s threat to Adrian is iconic, just like Oscar proclaiming his undying love for Ruby at the arena were they almost witnessed multiple murders.

The epilogue. Just. Wow. I knew it before because I’m smart and I spoiled it but I NEED another Renegades book. You can’t just end the series saying Evie Artino was Magpie and her being as angry as Nova once was. Like, no. You just can’t. That was a crime against humanity, tbh, but overall the series was amazing and I have never been more grateful to spend almost $80 in books. 

[the-kings-of-games]

Get to know my ship!: Ornithoptershipping (Bruno/Crow)

ornithopter (n.): a machine designed to achieve flight by means of flapping wings.

Character Profiles

Crow Hogan: 5'7, baby brother, father of at least five, a go-getter 

Bruno: a whooping 6'5, garage puppy, tol hunk, very good at building things 

(Note that this post is a bit more mature and suggestive than my usual posts, so please take caution. This ship also goes with my Kizunashipping sheet! They can and will coincide.)

How it happened: Bruno is hot as hell, and Crow Hogan has both eyes and taste

There's not really much romance involved in Ornithoptershipping (at least for me), but after Jack picked him up from that parking garage and Yūsei no less said, "He's our new friend now," Bruno became more familiar with everyone in Team 5D's. Everyone took him quickly, and at the same time, Crow noticed other things about Bruno, namely the things he hid under his clothes. You see, carrying a box worth of tools everyday in his jacket and being so big made Bruno a hunk, and also a very good looking one. Crow, having good tastes, got even more attracted to Bruno after finding out what a nice guy he is, and the bird loves big, nice guys like Bruno. ;)

So he teases and flirts with Bruno who, however, is kind of sense and oblivious to such advantages. That's why the first chance he could—say, when Jack and Yūsei left to see Grieger—Crow pounced, being straightforward (naked apron, naked apron), and Bruno was just . . . swept away because Crow is really cute and very convincing. They broke a table. Becoming sex buddies afterwards wasn't much of a surprise, lol. They really do enjoy spending time together, though Bruno is embarrassed easily if asked about their more adventurous activities. They broke. A table. The dining table.

Handling Conflict: free passes in an otherwise uncomplicated relationship

Bruno and Crow don't get into fights or arguments together; the former is too apologetic to push the blame, and the latter is often very relaxed around the other. I mean, if Bruno actually does something wrong or say something silly, Jack already takes care of that, but Crow is really forgiving towards Bruno in general. 

These two are very supportive of each other, and their friendship is quietly satisfying. :)

Relationship Attitude: friends first, always

As I said before, there's not much romance in their relationship. They don't go on dates or put each other over other people. Instead, there is Romance in their relationship in that they just spark feelings of friendship, amusement, affections, and so on with each other. They don't hold hands, but it's easy for Crow to tell Bruno, "I love you." It's easy for Bruno to feel that he belongs when Crow unhesitatingly accepts his kisses just because Bruno wants a kiss. How easy it was for their worlds to meet up and connect. Crow and Bruno have had deep discussions about things Crow keeps from others, especially his brothers, and often, Bruno learns a little bit about the self that he's forgotten. He can't completely pinpoint everything, no memories returning, but he recognizes emotions he is sure he had once felt before, before everything was just darkness.

Sex is just an added bonus.

Showing Affection: one is often conscious of his action, the other not so much

Crow puts in the effort in being affectionate because he is often conscious of how other people react. He's not as good as Yūsei, but if he picks up a good response to, say, a compliment, he'll use it again. ("You look great, Akiza. Just like you do everything.") It's the same for non-verbal stuff like patting Leo and Luna on the head to calm them down. He is good at doing both and likes doing both.

Bruno, on the other hand, has coding, D-runners, and the WRGP in his mind, not noticing that he does things that bring a smile to people's faces. He kind of just has a smile on his face all the time, and it’s soft. When he gets excited, it gets bigger, and he has a really nice laugh. When someone talks to him, he speaks genuinely, not realizing how much of an impact it can have on others. ^^

Dealing with jealousy: no reason to get jealous, guys

No, yeah, Bruno and Crow are very casual about each other. Maybe Crow is a bit jealous of Bruno because Bruno can talk to Yūsei a lot more, but really, there’s no hard feelings. Crow would never stop people from having other friends, especially ones who can keep up with you. (It’s like your sibling got a pet dog and starts playing with the dog more; that’s the closest example I have for you, and I’m not wrong.) Crow knows how to wait for his turn. :P Bruno doesn’t get jealous either because he can easily just go off doing his own thing, but he won’t say no if someone wants to relax in the same room as him, or ask for a helping hand. 

Crow and Bruno both acknowledge each other as friends and their own person. 

Attachment: cares and support each other

Neither men are the type to be clingy, and they like having their own space. They don’t have to spend time together; they choose to. They’re the kind of people who are together because they can be. Crow, though, when he’s feeling really comfortable with someone, can be a bit needy and get a little childish during those times, so his independence level is a bit less. 

First to confess their feelings to the other: Crow. Jack and Yūsei were gone for a good while, and the bird took the opportunity to pounce. He’s not a bit apologetic about it. Actually, he’s still gloating over it. 

First to apologize after a fight: Definitely Bruno, if he ever gets into fights in the first place. He’s a bit of a pushover and would apologize even for things he shouldn’t be sorry about, lol. 

The more popular/charismatic one: Bruno isn’t that reserved, but as mentioned before, he’s got coding, D-runners, and the WRGP in his mind. He’s very polite and helpful, and no doubt friendly. He’s just quieter in volume and less sarcastic in tone so he can be a bit of a pushover. (No worries, he’s got friends to watch his back.) Crow, on the other hand, can and will make friends with you; sometimes, if you’re an orphan or an old man, he’ll adopt you so he is as much your problem as you are his, and you love him for it. 

The best caretaker when the other is sick: Jack. Bruno has the same issue as Yūsei about losing track of time and forgetting or taking way too long to eat and rest. Crow can do caretaking too, but Jack’s just the best at it. They all live in the same place, they share responsibility. 

Does the cooking: They can both cook, but Bruno’s better at it. Crow likes his cooking, and he was so glad to have someone take over making meals. Crow is more about making sure that people are fed but not much for it having to taste great. (“Bread with soup is good enough.” —Crow) Bruno does a little more with his cooking and enjoys trying new stuff and methods. 

Does the housework: They both do (which I didn’t mark properly on the sheet, lmao). Bruno takes care of cleaning the garage with Yūsei amongst other things while Crow does most of the errands because he’s most likely already out anyway.

Does most of the speaking: Crow because Bruno is most likely to get spoken over if they’re dealing with rude people on the streets, which happens a lot for some reason. (Bruno is a bully magnet, and that’s why Jack hits him.  

The overprotective one: Crow because he doesn’t mind getting into fights and Bruno is a bit of a pushover. 

Designated driver: Bruno because Crow is a daredevil and would try to pull runner tricks with a car. He knows those are two different things, yes. Bruno would be super safe, maybe even hum to the radio on the way home. Why does he have dad energy??

Has good penmanship: Bruno, and that is why taking inventory is one of his responsibilities around the garage. Yūsei used to do it (because he’s better at math), but that boy writes like a chicken. Crow loves his brother, but, “What the hell does this say? Yūsei, are you mad at me?” Bruno is also the universal reader, thank gods. (Jack’s handwriting is a bit too swirling.)

Has more experience with relationships: Crow. He’s been doing things with Jack and Yūsei since forever, and has done stuff with other people too. Bruno isn’t sure about himself, but he may be a bit of a natural. U_U 

Sensitive to subtle changes in their partner: Another mistake on the sheet; they both are subtle. Crow because Bruno is more of the type to hide his feelings because not remembering anything before waking up on the beach made the designer a bit unsure about his emotions and why he feels them. Bruno doesn’t want to make a big deal of anything, which Crow figured out slowly. Bruno notices subtle changes in Crow because the bird is rather expressive, even when he tries not to show anything. It’s a lot less subtle when Crow lets his guard down, and Bruno learns quickly from those moments.

The one who proposes: Marriage is never on either one of their minds, especially Crow who’s probably on the aromantic scale. It’s just enough that they love each other one way or another. Besides, isn’t working together, living together, and caring about each other pretty much the basis of marriage, lol? 

The one who dies protecting the others: Haha, spoilers. 

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Works I’ve wrote with and/or for Ornithoptershipping:

The Distance of Time

Two Fingers Crossed Over Your Lips, Chapter Eight: Domestic

Taking Care of Crow

[professorspork]

ANOTHER BUSY DAY IN THE ANDROMEDA GALAXY

I started the day running errands on Havarl, culminating with finishing off Jaal’s loyalty mission! I took Vetra with us thinking ‘hey, if anyone knows sibling dynamics...’ but then she factored into all of that absolutely 0%, lol @ me. but no matter! Jaal was super flirty as we made our way to the Forge, and it was adorable when he was like “HERE MEET MY FRIEND SO YOU CAN SEE AKKSUL IS WRONG” and bodily dragged me toward his siblings. their fight was absorbing and intense; I LEGIT GASPED WHEN HIS SISTER SHOT HIS BROTHER. LIKE!! the whole confrontation with Akksul felt super weighty and I really enjoyed it-- keeping my trigger discipline to not shoot that dude was really hard! there was a split second there where his bolt was headed toward Jaal’s face and I was like “if I kill off Jaal in his loyalty mission I’ll be so upset” but nope it all worked out, he has a bitchin cheek scar now, and the respect of his people, and I got a forehead touch so y’know. i melted. GOSH. then I died laughing at Akksul’s not-apology email.

now Jaal wants me to meet his mom(s) but Helen said that’ll lock in the romance, so I’ll probably wait just a little longer so I can uh keep having FWB sex with Peebee and ?maybe??? flirt with Vetra at some point? altho I teasingly called her MOM last time we were in Kadara Port so maybe not. (Jaal still hates it there, he’s so grumpy and it’s cute, but I digress)

this one got even longer than usual so doing a cut

one thing that I really like, that the game navigates in interesting ways, is that to the angara, we’re all just “Milky Way people.” like. so much of the original trilogy is about navigating the differences between all these aliens, and like, some of that is here too, esp with the krogan, but it’s actually really neat the way we’ve flattened out. and even with the krogan it’s still night and day-- like. comparing what Tuchanka is like in ME2 when Wrex is still solidifying his status as warlord is miles away from what it’s like for me to wander around New Tuchanka or, especially, just run into random krogan out and about (like the nice water scouts. WHY COULDN’T I JUST GIVE THEM THE WATER? but I’m getting ahead of myself). I know some of it has the Watsonian explanation of, like, only forward-thinking, open-minded krogan would be interested in the Initiative in the first place, and some of it is the Doylist explanation of ‘well people really liked that Charr/Ereba romance so let’s have more sweetie pie krogan’ but like. overall. it’s interesting, and I’m sure there’s more angles I haven’t considered.

I traced more of those comm buoys for Addison and learned that the doctor she’s obsessed with ran away to get pregnant! I definitely read that whole situation as Addison being in love with this lady and tbh it still doesn’t refute it? but I won’t get any more progress until I make a new outpost. the whole idea of ‘the first human baby born in Heleus’ thing is really cool, though, and I’m invested.

then I went to Elaaden! I feel some kind of way about Lexi diagnosing all of these scavengers with Brain Disease, but I can’t put my finger on it exactly-- other than, I guess, my general discomfort with pathologizing criminality. I was glad she said we couldn’t vaccinate people without their consent, but the whole thing smacks as very... self-conscious on the part of the game creators? like they thought people would say “hey it’s a huge plot hole that the Initiative screened every person before putting them on the arks and yet so many of them do crimes, explain that to me” and they were like “oh yeah shit that makes no sense, it’s not like people faced with the existential crisis of being in a brand new place 600 years away from everything they’ve ever known with no way back and not enough resources and multiple things wanting to kill them might just make desperate, risky choices, that’s not good enough, obviously we need to explain it with BRAIN DISEASE.” come on.

I made it to New Tuchanka, where the postings on the terminals are literally my favorite part of this whole game. THE ONE KROGAN WHO WANTS GINGERBREAD. THE ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT TO FOCUS ON CONS AND SUGGESTS A “PRO-VERSATION.” THE ONE ABOUT THE “PROBLETUNITY” OF MATING SUGGESTING WATCHING KRANTT HARDLY WAIT. THE ONE WHO INVENTED BLOOD RAGE FOR GUN TURRETS. but also, the best one, my favorite one of all: KRANTT THE RAGENING LARP. there is nothing I would not give to play Krantt: The Ragening.

I sort of tripped and fell and decided to finish Drack’s loyalty mission even though I intended to do more Elaaden things first, and that was a blast. Vorn is so presh! and also Drack is my dad so there’s that. I loved that Vorn helped save the day with a poison vegetable, and I love that Kesh pretended not to like the flower he got her. it was like-- okay. real talk, I just spent like 20 minutes trying to find proof that there is, in fact, a scene in parks and rec where someone gives April a friendship bracelet and she pretended to hate it until they threatened to take it back and could not find it ANYWHERE and felt so gaslit until I realized that that scene was not about April at all but Louise Belcher so. GOOD JOB ME. anyway. it was like that. kesh pretending her comm was broken when Tann tried to talk to her is the oldest joke in the book but I laughed anyway. 

and then I TOOK SPENDER DOWN FOR GOOD. I’m a little miffed that neither Kesh nor Tann got to be in on that discussion; like, I recognize he was Addison’s underling but given all the bullshit he pulled with the krogan I especially felt Kesh deserved to be there? at one point there was a dialogue tree where I could either say it was Addison’s fault or Spender’s fault, and I picked the latter because I think they both such but Spender sucks worse, but in hindsight I wish I’d stuck it to Addison more because my dialogue was way too nice. when faced with the choice of jailing or exiling Spender, I picked jail despite my desire to defund Nexus Militia because I was scared if I exiled him he’d just come back as a worse enemy because of all his off-station contacts. when reviewing the choice in the codex, though, it narrativized my choice by saying I imprisoned him knowing he “would never survive life on the run from his former associates.” that wasn’t my assumption at all! quite the opposite! I jailed him thinking he’d start a coup from without if I didn’t, and it’s really interesting to me that the game isn’t framing that as a concern Ryder would have reasonably had. anyway, now Brecka has his job, which is good because Brecka is the best.

before leaving I unlocked my last memory, and SURPRISE MY MOM IS ALIVE. WELL. FOR A GIVEN DEFINITION OF ALIVE. i don’t know why I’m surprised; of course my dad sucked that much. but also, the fact that all of that got nestled in with the reaper ‘reveal’ (if you can call it that) felt... very strange? like. this is such a personal, emotional thing for Ryder. obviously for the player harkening back to the trilogy is supposed to be a gut wrench, and objectively, yes, I can see how the knowledge that they might have narrowly escaped certain death is a big deal, but like. the reapers aren’t HERE. they aren’t relevant. my MOM, on the other hand, is and is, apparently! it’s occurring to me I didn’t even try to find her mis-labeled pod, I was so turned around by all the benefactor stuff after the fact. anyway.

swung by Kadara to get drinks with Drack and had an epic bar fight, and then Lexi p much lectured us both abt it because Drack is like 90% spit and duct tape at this point. him talking about raising Kesh giving him a new lease on life was VERY sweet, tho, and his line about how parents aren’t the finish line, they’re the starting line was very good.

went back to Elaaden, which Jaal called “a big planet” while discussing hunting someone down and AU CONTRAIRE, JAAL, IT IS A MOON. wish I’d had Drack with me when I found Annea’s water because I bet he would have had better dialogue than Cora, but alas. felt very weird giving control of the reservoir to the Nexus, but like. Annea being like “you can’t, this is my emotional support monopoly on a vital natural resource” just wasn’t gonna fly with how I’m playing Ryder. I was gratified to hear the Nexus guy at Paradise say we were giving the water to everyone, including krogan and scavengers, because I 100% did not trust Tann not to overrule him with some shitty call.

then I went to the Remnant ship to stop Morda from making a bomb out of the drive core, and it was all going swimmingly until I traced the signal to that cave inside the flophouse and suddenly my triangle button stopped working, making me unable to activate the console. YIKES. a quick google of the issue tells me that this mission is buggy for a lot of people and reloading from an earlier save tends to help, but I tried that and the issue persisted so I gave up for the evening. hopefully a fresh start tomorrow and time for the ps4 to cool off is all that is required. 

[ssa-montgomery]

Requests Are Open!

Hey everyone! Since we’re all stuck inside at the moment and I seem to have found my writing inspiration again I thought I would open up my requests again! Of course if you want to make a request you don’t have to use these so feel free to send me any requests, I just thought this might be fun! 

To make a request just send a number(s) from the list below and a ship or show! You can send me a bit of plot if you have an idea of what you would like to see but if not just send me the number! You can send me up to three prompts for one request :) You can send me the request through a message, a comment on this post or an ask.

The Fandoms I mainly write for are:

Supernatural

Once Upon a Time

Shadowhunters

Hannibal

Merlin

Lucifer

I will write character x character and character x reader as long as the ship is legal! Of course the ship doesn’t have to be a romance ship! It can be friendship/family/enemies too.

I will complete your requests as soon as I can!

1. “You scared me!” “Well, I am naturally terrifying.”

2. “I’m fine.” “You don’t look fine.” “Then stop looking.”

3. “Where is Death when you need her?”

4. “You are all remarkably well behaved tonight. What did you do?”

5. “You look…” “Beautiful, I know. Can we move on?”

6. “Ohh so you think I’m cute when I’m angry? Well, get ready because I’m about to be GORGEOUS!!!”

7. “I don’t give a damn.” “You give so many damns they’re visible from SPACE.”

8. “Tell I’m going to die, tell me the sun is going to explode, tell me the world is ending and there’s nothing I can do about it because if I hear it’s going to be okay one more time I. Will. Scream.”

9. “I hate you.” “Why? I’m lovely.”

10. “Who are you?” “Demon to some. Angel to others.”

11. “Yeah, I have a plan.” “Is it a good one?” “I have a plan.”

12. “You love her don’t you?” “Was it that obvious?”

13. “I hate the sight of blood.” “Then maybe you shouldn’t kill for a living.”

14. “Are you sober?” “I’m moderately functional.” “I’ll take that as a no.”

15.“I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you!” “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it.”

16. “On a scale from one to ten, how bad do think it would be if-” “At least a twenty.”

17. “Well, aren’t you a little ray of pitch black.”

18. “So… I just realized … that I’ve been shot.”

19. “Did you hear that scream?” “Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”

20. “Only a fool would fall in love with someone as deadly as me.”

21. “Excuse me I have to go make a scene.”

22. “I warned you not to hurt his sister.”

23. “How does it feel, my dear? Losing the best thing that has ever happened to you.”

24. “Oh darling, you are so very broken and no cares to notice.”

25. “All that blood looks good on you. It really brings out your eyes.”

26. “I have to go … iron … my cat.”

27. “If I go through with this, I die. If I don’t go through with this, we all die.”

28. “I’m trying my best to be polite, but if you move that knife a centimeter closer to me I will tear you apart.”

29. “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you.”

30. “I’m not completely human anymore. Remember that next time you want to punch me in the face.”

31. “I am either going out for ice cream, or to commit a crime. I’ll decide in the car.”

32. “Don’t think about it too much or your head might explode.”

33. “I’m with him. For better or for worse. It’ll probably be worse. I knew that the day I met him.”

34. “I don’t hate you. I hate them for turning you into this.”

35. “Loving any of us is a death sentence isn’t it?”

36. “All I know is, one of us is right. The other one is you.”

37. “Hold on, you died.” “Yeah, well it didn’t stick.”

38. “Why are they all afraid of you?”

39. “I can’t go back to sleep after that. I need coffee- no. I need a drink, a stiff one.”

40. “Just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up piece of shit heart.”

41. “You here to finish me off, sweetheart?”

42. “Oh. Hello. Excuse all the blood.”

43. “Guess who came back?”

44. “I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I’d say my people skills are improving.”

45. “You keep pointing that gun at me and blabbering on about how much you’ve been wanting to kill me. I’m beginning to doubt your commitment…”

46. “It’s only murder if they find the body. Otherwise, it’s just a missing person. Just saying.”

47. “I can’t do this anymore.”

48. “The worst feeling in the world is knowing you did the best you could and it still wasn’t good enough.”

49. “Because to you I am merely a monster. And in the end that’s all I ever was. ”

50. “And if I asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to name yourself?”

51. “You already know how this will end.”

52. “Don’t you understand? You were her happy ending.”

53. “Lord give me patience or an untraceable handgun.”

54. “Did you actually think you mattered to him? Silly girl.”

55. “You can’t love someone unless you love yourself first. Bullshit. I have never loved myself but you, Oh god, I loved you so much I forgot what hating myself felt like.”

56. “It’s okay. You don’t have to love me.”

57. “There’s someone in my head but it’s not me.”

58. “Foolish child. Thinking the stains of your sins can be washed away by your tears.”

59. “I wanted you to fight for me and you didn’t.”

60. “it’s scary what a smile can hide.”

61. “You had me at “we’ll make it look like an accident.”

62. “Is this one of those times when you want me to lie to protect your delicate emotions?”

63. “I’m surrounded by idiots!”

64. “You gotta stop doing that.” “What?” “Saying things that make me wanna kiss you.”

65. “If you’re going to get in trouble for hitting someone, might as well hit them hard.”

66. “I never said thank you did I?” “For what?” “For… well … everything.”

67. “I’ll find her and bring her home. I promise.”

68. “Dance with me and pretend the world doesn’t exist.”

69. “What are you afraid of?” “You.”

70. “You’re ok. Breathe. Just breathe. Open your eyes. Come back. It’s ok. It’s over now. You’re ok. Wake up. Please wake up. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to me. I love you so fucking much. Come back.”

71. “Can I ask you a dumb question?” “Better than anyone I know.”

72. “If we’re going to get out of here, we’re going to have to work together. After that, we can go back to killing each other.” “Oh fine.”

73. “If it is destroying you, then it’s not love my dear.”

74. “ I never stood a chance, did I?” “That’s the sad part -you did once.”

75. “Eh, screw it. Let’s just blow it up and call it a day.”

76. “Underestimate me. That’ll be fun.”

77. “The problem is, if I kissed, I don’t think I don’t think I’d be able to stop.”

78. “Lie to me again.” “I love you.”

79. “Why are you avoiding me?” “Because … because I think I’m falling in love with you, okay? That’s why I’m avoiding you.”

80. “Whos ass are we kicking today?”

81. “I could strangle you.” “You aren’t tall enough.” “You’ve sunk low enough for me to reach.”

82. “Wait, did you just flirt with me?” “Have been for the past year but thanks for noticing.”

83. “Maybe I deserve someone else, but I always wanted you.”

84. “Darkness. When everything you know and love is taken away so harshly, all you can think about is angry, hatred and even revenge. And no one can save you.”

85. “For God sake! Who have you killed now?”

86. “Please point your gun at me if it helps you relax.”

87. “Tell me not to do something and I will do it twice and take pictures.”

88. “there is not enough salt in the WORLD to protect us from the hell you’re trying to unleash.” “Oh don’t be such a worrywart. The demon and I go way back.”

89. “You wanna know who’s beautiful?” “Aww who?” “Me.”

90. “In my defense, I was left unsupervised.”

91. “Wow can we just pretend, for one second, that you’re not a complete douchbag?”

92. “Are we there yet?” “Get out.” “We’re going 85-miles an hour down the highway in the middle of nowhere.” “Did I stutter?”

93. “Oh, honey, no. I love you too much to let you humiliate yourself this way.” “Bitch please, you don’t think I can beat you at Mario-kart? ”

94. “Fix me up with six cups of coffee and we’re good to go.”

95. “When someone gives you the "don’t pull your gun out of the back of your pants” nod, don’t pull your gun out of the back of your pants!“

96. "Do you feel guilty? Like, at all?” “I don’t have time to feel guilty. and neither do you.”

97. “Hey man nice tattoo.” “I don’t have a tattoo.” “Okay, how drunk were you last night?”

98. “Are you always stupid or is today a special occasion?”

99. “Literally everything about this is illegal.”

100. “I need something that’s more than coffee but less than cocaine.”

101. “Pay me enough, and I didn’t see a thing.”

102. “Sorry I hung up on you, I didn’t mean to answer the call.”

103. “Today I’m wearing a lovely shade of I slept like crap so don’t piss me off.”

104. “Hey, I didn’t kill anyone today!” “What do you want? A gold star?”

105. “Since I met him, he carries more anger and pain than a thousand armies could ever bear. He was betrayed, deceived, hurt. Believe me when I say he had already crossed hell, and the only time I saw peace in his eyes was when he saw you. You are the only reason he’s still alive.”

106. “Touch her, and you’ll learn exactly what’s worse than death.”

107. “I don’t want to look like a princess, I want to look like a formerly evil queen who reluctantly redeemed herself for the side of good.” “You read too much.” “Damn right I do.”

108. “You’re not as evil as people think you are.” “No. I’m much worse.”

109. “No. Not you. Anyone but you.”

110. “One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my love, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.”

111. “It goes away, that ache in your chest when you hear his name.”

112 “I feel like everything in my life has led me to you. My choices, my heartbreaks, my regrets. Everything. And when we’re together, my past seems worth it, because if I had done one thing differently, I might never have met you.”

113. “Don’t go.”

114. “If he cared, he would have made an effort.”

115. “You love him, don’t you?” “He’s not mine to love.” “But you still do?” “More than she ever will.”

116. “This is what, the third time I’ve crashed my own funeral?” “Fifth.” “Really? That many?”

117. “Y’know… that’s not what an apology sounds like.” “Bite me.”

118. “Don’t try to shut me out of this. I’ve been here since day one. I’m more a part of this than you are.”

119.”…. At least the snow’s pretty.”

120. “Don’t give me attitude, darling. I have one of my own.”

121. “I want you to remember you deserve this.”

122. “I’ve lost count of how many times you’ve died in front of me.”

123. “I don’t care if I  don’t get any sleep tonight. As long as I can be there for you.”

124.  “I should have told you a long time ago.”

125. “Letting you go was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

126. “Silly girl,  can’t you see the truth right in front of you? This is his little kingdom, and you’re not the Queen anymore.

127. “If we get arrested, it’s your fault.”

128. “Wow, I can’t believe I said that out loud, please excuse me while I go die of embarrassment.”

129. “How sweet, sacrificing yourself for her, when did you get a heart?”

130.  “Let me go! I can still save them!”

131. “She’s my best friend. That hasn’t changed.” “It’s clear you feelings for her have.”

132. “You made your choice and I made mine. Just because you can’t live with yours doesn’t mean you should shame me for living with mine.”

133. “If someone gets nosy just .. you know … shoot ‘em.” “Shoot ‘em?” “Politely.”

134. “Show me your scars.” “But.. why?” “I want to see how many times you needed me and I wasn’t there.”

135. “It’s okay, it’s over now.” “No it’s not. It hasn’t even begun.”

136. “It’s like you want to ruin men/women for me.”

137. “Look. I’m glad you’ve saved everyone and all that, but it’s time someone told you to take care of you.” “I’m fine.” “No you’re not and furthermore, if you don’t take care of you think of all the people who will need you in the future who won’t have you.”

138. “I want you. Right here. Right now”

139. “Tell me what you want.”

140. “You look so fucking hot right now.”

141. “You say “I hate you.” But all I hear is “fuck me.”

142. “You think you’re the boss of me just because you’re hot?”

143. “You make me feel .. you make me feel and I don’t like it. I want it to stop. Now”

144. “You survived what you thought would kill you. Now straighten your crown and move foward like the Queen you are.”

145. “What I lack in common sense I make up for in sarcasm.”

146. “Because I am the big brother. I’m sorry I wasn’t better at it until now.”

147. “Aw look at ‘em - so young and willing to get themselves killed.”

148. “You’re kind of turning me on.”

149. “Studies show that I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

150. “You alienated everyone you loved , and now? You’re all alone.”

[tinkiisms]

crossover ship wishlist

now, i’ve finally found an rp partner who is giving me the tink/jim i’ve long desired, but last night when i couldn’t sleep i was thinking of the rest of the crossover ships i’ve always wanted but never got the chance to write.

maybe describing my vision for them will convince ANYBODY to consider plotting with me!

in no particular order, i submit for your perusal....the perfect crossover ships w/ tinker bell.

TINKER BELL x PIPS:

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times, this is literally the most perfect conceivable animated crossover ship possible, and idk why it isn’t more popular.

Both characters are sassy and fun-loving, attractive fairies who would certainly take an interest in one another. Pips is quite similar to the character Tink canonically has a crush on (Peter) which being more mature and actually her size/species, as well as Tink having a similar personality to the character Pips has a crush on (Crysta.) Neither ended up with their unrequited loves in their story, so it’s not even like x-over ships with like all the Disney princesses and other characters who found their “one true love” because they’re both SINGLE, READY TO MINGLE, AND LITERALLY PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER

I like the thought of the romantic tension we can have for them because they might both be wary to start anything, having had unrequited love before, but they definitely flirt and vibe with each other.

Also I have already made several edits for them--this is the kinda ship that I’m never gonna stop reblogging inspo for and writing threads, if I only had a partner to explore it with me.

TINKER BELL x CRYSTA

As I said wrt to Tink/Pips, Tinker Bell and Crysta have a similar personality. They’re both curious, easily distracted, and none too concerned with rules--and then their differences in personality just go toward giving them chances to clash and not be the same person.

They would definitely be a good bad influence on each other, exploring and getting into trouble, but helping each other out of it as well.

I don’t have so much to say about them bc Tink/Pips is really where I think the most potential is, but I also refuse to neglect the delightful possibilty of a wlw fairy ship sitting right there for the taking.

TINKER BELL x HICCUP

I’ve seen videos of Hiccup/Fawn--which makes sense on its own bc like, Hic&Toothless + Fawn&Gruff vibes, they're both bleeding hearts--but I’m SHOCKED that I haven’t seen any for Hiccup/Tink?? Let’s discuss:

They look good together, both favor natural color schemes with green. They’re both inventors which is something to bond over. They both break the mold in their respective society, going where none others have gone before/breaking customs that end up making their kingdoms that much better because they have open minds.

The potential plotlines because Hiccup gave a dragon the ability to fly again w/ his wing design, and Tinker Bell broke her wing in one of her films--so let’s say sparkly sister magic isn’t a cure for broken wings, but Hiccup helps her?? I just love it.

The angst, the drama, the romance, the fluff, endless possibilities. Canon divergence is necessary tbh--in general crossover verses I can play Tink as a fairy that can change to be human-sized (like in OUAT) to make for a better match with human characters. But other than that, we have a perfect basis for a x-over ship if I just find a writing partner with the right chemistry!

TINKER BELL x MARIANNE

OKAY ideal fairy crossover ship, yes. 1. Tinker Bell and Marianne have similar character arcs throughout their stories (Marianne in Strange Magic, and Tink from her series of films through the original Peter Pan timeline and then the Disney Fairies books.)

Both start out quite hopeful and sweet, but when their first love breaks their heart, they kinda vow to never fall in love again and swear not to let themselves be hurt like that, they close themselves off from such feelings and develop a tough exterior. Marianne learns to sword-fight, and Tink carries around daggers--fighty couple with each other’s back potential!!

They both eventually open up to love--WITH EACH OTHER. And that would be so sweet oh my god.

The actress for Tinker Bell has done a couple duets with her friend who looks like Marianne and it makes my heart sing.

TINKER BELL x NOD

It’s been a long time since I watched Epic but I remember that Nod was another kind of energetically rule-breaking character who would mesh well with Tink. Again, they look good together. I just want to see how that goes because I can never get my sights off of other tiny-character muses for Tink to cross-over with...

TINKER BELL x TOOTHIANA

THIS ONE WOULD JUST BE SO ADORABLE. Tooth is adorable and Tink is adorable and if they were girlfriends it would be really sweet and perfect, that’s all.

TINKER BELL x HERCULES

I’ve plotted this one out a little bit with an RP partner years ago but we never really got past the first couple replies on our thread to start developing the concept.

I just love the idea of Tink and Hercules being long-time friends even before he realized his lineage, and then when he becomes all famous Tink is like “don’t forget about me” and they both just shine so,

I just think they’re neat

TINKER BELL x ARRIETTY

Here we go. Tink and Arrietty: both little explorers at heart who want more out of life. Both disregard what they’ve been told about humans because they find them interesting and not bad. Arrietty would be fascinated by Tink bc 1. She didn’t believe in fairies though her mom claims to have seen one once in her youth, so meeting her she would be in awe. 2. She wants to be a proper borrower who ventures out instead of keeping the house, and Tink legit lives in nature and makes inventions out of lost human things.

They would just have such an interesting dynamic, like Arrietty fricking running off with a fairy of all things to fulfill her dreams--

TINKER BELL x CORNELIUS

A commoner/royal dynamic I enjoy, because Tink is unused to be treated a certain way. Cornelius is really cute, and together they wouldn’t have as much of a sweet-sweet dynamic as Cornelius/Thumbelina but a little more dynamic and interesting to explore.

I also make edits...

TINKER BELL x THUMBELINA

Tink/Thumbelina would be really cute because imagine them meeting instead of Cornelius meeting Thumbelina, right? She would just see Tink and and be BIG BLUSH over her and Tink would be like “what is this feeling? oh no she’s cute” and I just love it

I already have a temporary tag for them where you can view some art/edits other people have made, but once i find “their ship song” it will get a proper tag

TINKER BELL x ARIEL

One of those things. Um, both fascinated by human junk, both part of a different world, fall in love with someone of another species, but here’s the thing. Ariel is sea, and Tink is sky. The plotting and development that would have to go down to get them both to meet in the middle, on land, is what makes the thought of this ship really interesting to me.

We can basically write our own movie based on the idea of a fairy and mermaid falling for each other.

basically if anyone decides to plot any of these with me, i’m gonna be making edits, playlists, aesthetics and reblogging ship inspo posts & musings bc i have a lot of muse for these potential ships.

i have either currently or in the past written platonic threads with some of these characters, so that’s one thing and good in its own regard but i’m not looking for it with this post lbr.

i’m interested in shipping rn bc tbh i have a lot of random fluff interactions going on but i generaly have a lot more inspiration to reply to things and hold multiple threads with a partner when we develop stronger relationships between the muses. (rather than casual introductory stuff)

like it just keeps me very intrigued in plots when more feelings are involved? & there are more places to go with romance bc you can have every plot a platonic pair can have + additional romantic-feeling based plots. no shame in that...i like ships :s

[cbk1000]

The review I just posted on Goodreads (under a cut because it’s long and contains excerpts depicting child rape):

This review is a warning for any readers who are looking for a cute, lightweight historical romance with a happy ending; you won't find it here. You will, however, find pedophilia and a 'hero' who turns out to be a child rapist. While I wish that were a hyperbolic statement it is not; nor is it open to interpretation: the main character himself confesses to feeling a sexual attraction to the main heroine while she was still a child and he an adult. He also confesses to sexually assaulting her in her sleep. I'm going to quote these scenes exactly as they are, so if you do not have the stomach to read an in-depth description of the assault, this is your warning to turn back now. This is the most vile book I have ever read. The writing is terrible; you wouldn't use it for toilet paper after a bad bout of food poisoning; even your poorly-digested Mexican food deserves better than that. But it's a hilariously over-the-top sort of terrible until the very end, when anatomical oopsies and characters with all the maturity and cleverness of a 6-year-old (and not a precocious one) are exchanged for the author's disgusting romanticization of child rape. I try not to judge a fiction writer based on their material; the manifestations of our imaginations are not generally indicative of our morality. But to write, in all seriousness, a scene in which your main character assaults a sleeping child, and worse, to use this scene as a way to assuage the heroine's fears that the 'hero' doesn't really love her, to persuade her that, in fact, the 'hero' loved her all along, that he never even looked at another woman once she came into his life (at the age of 12), is, to vastly understate my feelings on the subject, profoundly disturbing. The author's bio states that 'Her stories feature heroes who fall so much in love that they go a little batty, acting the way women often wish their lovers would behave.' RAPING A CHILD IS NOT 'A LITTLE BIT BATTY'. DROWN YOURSELF. To provide some context for the following excerpts: Vlad and Mala are married under English law. Shortly afterward, Mala is kidnapped by an unknown horseman who later turns out to be her brother. Vlad sets out for their nearby encampment to confront her family, only to find that Mala has gone willingly because she has persuaded herself that Vlad never really loved her; otherwise, he'd have had them married according to Romani traditions. Even though he has literally married her and pronounced an excruciating number of times (in language laden with the plunder of a thousand violated thesauri), how eternally devoted he is to her incomparable ladybits, she decides he doesn't really love her because these people are all flaming stupid and the author needed to throw in a bit of cheap drama at the last moment. It turns out Vlad has a big secret (that we the readers are not made aware of until the very last second because not being a complete dumpster fire of a human who thinks it's wonderfully romantic to have the hero RAPE CHILDREN isn't enough: the author wouldn't know how to competently tell a story if it crawled, fully-plotted, out of her ass and fucking bit her), and Mala tells him she will not return with him unless he confesses this secret to her and explains why he ran away from her family years ago, so she can judge whether or not he will just throw her over again and vanish. So here we go. This is his confession, word for word: 'I swear to you that I’m no deviant. I’ve never had a sexual interest in children. Never. Well, never until you were twelve and I came to meet your Papa and attend his wedding to my mother. Mother introduced us and my heart stopped. I froze and don’t even recall if I spoke. Then you ran up to give me a hug in welcome and my most private part unfroze with a vengeance.” He paused for breath and to give her a chance to kick him and run away–but when she did neither, he continued. “I was horrified at myself, but helpless against the force of my response. Through the ceremony I positioned myself behind a small shrub of a convenient height and vowed not to so much as look at you. Course, I couldn’t look at anyone or anything else. When the women began dancing around the couple after the vows, I watched your budding breasts jiggle when you kicked and imagined myself…,” A noise in the background halted his words, and he jumped ahead. “That night, around the fire, Tobar gave an amazing, emotional speech, where he said that in marrying my mother, he acquired another son. My blood father hated me for existing as I was a living reminder of his unpardonable lapse of judgment in wedding a damned gypsy. Your father accepted me, Russian blood and all. I couldn’t repay his affection by lusting after my step-sister. I left that night and vowed to stay away until whatever demon that had possessed me was evicted.' He then apparently went on to drown himself in a bunch of orgies, but decides not to tell her that part because she doesn't need to hear it. He continues: '"I thought it possible that I’d exaggerated the event in my mind. I returned about two and a half months after we first met, vowing to treat you as a younger sister. I kept my vow until I spotted you as I rode in, strolling in an area secluded from the caravan by a stand of trees. You were flirting with a lad a couple of years older. He brushed your hair back and tilted up your chin for a kiss he never got. I leapt off my galloping stallion, stormed over and told the brash bastard that if he so much as looked at you again, I’d geld him. I was jealous as hell.” “You were?” Mala asked. “I thought you were acting like an enraged big brother.” “No,” Vlad said. “Hell, no. Despite my every vow and intention, my love, I have never, for a single second, felt like your brother. My obsession with you grew worse, and more obvious. Your father says he saw it and so did Nic, but neither of them had a clue how low I’d sink, how evil I’d become. I kept myself mostly under control that visit, save for a few brush ups with some of the other fellows who had dreams and intentions that I destroyed rather ruthlessly. It was my next visit when my demon overthrew my will. That’s when the true evil started.” “That’s nonsense,” Mala said. “No, it’s not,” Vlad said. “All I can say in my defense is that the first time was accidental. I was away from the tribe, fishing and trying to clear my head and cool my loins. I succeeded only in aggravating the fish. After I packed up my gear, I strolled in the woods for a bit. A splash and a giggle drew my attention, and I stalked to a stand of trees and dense brush and peered through. ‘Twas you, dressed only in sunlight and your golden skin. You were bathing. Your youth, my supposed honor and morality, all of it commanded me to leave and give you privacy. I didn’t. After that, every night, at every campsite, I did it again and again.” Mala blinked. “You watched me bathe? And the other girls as well?” “There were other girls?” Vlad asked. “There are no other girls, Mala. There are no other women.” He steeled himself and continued. “And yes, I watched you, but I did more. I pleasured myself as I watched. I invaded your privacy and desecrated it. I reviled myself for it then and every moment since then. I ordered myself to stop but I didn’t. I couldn’t. I’d leave so I’d have to stop, but I could not stay away. Then came my worst transgression. One winter’s night, your father and brother left with the other men to scout and liberate some horses. They asked me to sleep inside the vardo with you. I tried to do the right thing and made myself a separate pallet, but you complained of the cold. It took pitifully little for me to join you in your cozy nest. You cuddled up to my back innocently, for warmth.” Vlad paused and closed his eyes, but she made a noise of protest so he looked at her again. “My flesh felt every sweet inch of you, and I ate it up like a starving man at a banquet. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep. When I awoke, our positions had reversed. You’d turned over and I spooned you. My arm lay around your waist, but I moved it up until your breasts rested upon it. I jiggled them, slightly, imitating the way I watched them move whenever you danced. You didn’t wake, and I recalled your father and brother’s jokes about how deeply you slept. So I cupped your breasts through your gown, teasing your nipples to pert fullness that I couldn’t see.” “Oh my Great Duck,” Mala said. “I thought I dreamed that. You turned me over, and climbed atop me, didn’t you?” “To my everlasting damnation, I did,” Vlad said. “I hiked up your gown and positioned myself against your feminine mound. I moved your gown off your shoulders to uncover your breasts. I sucked you and humped you like an animal until I found the most shameful, the most splendid release of my life. I was beyond disgusted with myself, so I got up, cleaned up, and went outside to build a fire or kindle it or something.”' He goes on to say that he afterwards fled and “signed on to crew a ship leaving for America. I needed an ocean’s distance to keep me away else i’d return and likely do something even worse.” Keep in mind, this confession is made in front of her father and brother. So they stabbed him a bunch of times, right? Or at least kicked him in the nuts. No. Oh, well, what can you do; some families are extraordinarily shitty. SHE at least stabbed him a bunch of times and then sailed off alone into the sunset with her rapist bleeding to his slow and miserable death, right? That was the happy ending the author promised? No. 'Mala watched shame and love battle in Vlad’s eyes and recognized it as the expression she’d seen there for years. She hadn’t understood it then, but she understood it and him now. ‘Twas with effort that she managed not to dance as she said, “Ask me again.”' SHE'S SO HAPPY SHE CAN BARELY HOLD STILL. He then asks her to marry him once more, her dad and brother are like, “Yay! Let’s get this gypsy wedding on the road”, they have a Romani ceremony, and then the book ends with this scene: 'Vlad drew her close for a kiss, but paused to ask, “Do you finally understand that I’ve loved you since the moment we met, that I’ve never willingly spent a second apart from you, and that I will hold you in my arms, my heart and my life until eternity ends?” Mala was crying too hard to answer, so she nodded as he took her lips with tender intent, feeding her back happy tears, flavored with a taste of forever.' In conclusion: I wish I could Chinese water torture this book. I hope hell is a place where books like this go to burn for all eternity.

[megabadbunny]

if we let go (1/?)

(Even his other self doesn’t get it—are his senses really so dulled? Could he really be so human?)

I.e., Rose gets a choice, even if she has to carve it out for herself. In this chapter, she fights for Donna to get a choice, too.

***

a journey’s end fixit (of sorts), dedicated to @travelingrose ​, who reignited my love/hate relationship with this episode/storyline. (i believe this also fills some rose x tentoo / tentoo day prompts from @doctorroseprompts​ and @timepetalsprompts​ ?) heavy angst, but also lots of flirting, fluff, romance, some adventure, and some smut; sfw versions on tumblr & ff.net, nsfw versions on ao3 and teaspoon.

***

prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3

chapter one: all the survivors singing in the rain

The word Felspoon has just left Donna’s mouth and that’s only the second-strangest thing that’s happened this millisecond, because the TARDIS doors swing open and slam shut and when the Doctor glances over, Rose and his other self and suddenly inside instead of out.

Blood drains from the Doctor’s face, leaving him shocked with cold.

“No,” he mutters, blinking in disbelief. He shakes his head like the motion will dislodge the stowaways from his vision, but his sight is a Polaroid photo and they just come into sharper relief. The Doctor pushes off his coral strut leaning-post, advancing toward Rose before he has a chance to think better of it.

“Doctor—”

“No,” he says, sharply this time, the word harsh even to his own ears. He points to the doors behind her. “Get out.”

Stunned, Rose falters. “What?”

“You heard me,” says the Doctor, anger and adrenaline and fear racing through his veins, because she can’t be here, not after he just sent her away, not after he just made one of the worst decisions in any of his cursedly long lives. “You’ve got to get out. You can’t be here, Rose. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“I’m sorry—you’ve made up your mind?”

“Yep! We both have, actually,” interjects Donna. “Though I suppose we should have known better—he keeps sending you away, but you never seem to stay there, do you?”

The Doctor shoots her a dirty look and she just shrugs. “What? You can’t honestly be surprised.”

“We’re not,” says the other Doctor tiredly.

“Stop it,” the Doctor snaps. “There’s no we in this equation, understand?” Glaring at each of them in turn, he continues, “No we, no us, no I in team but there is a me and that’s all that matters here, just me, and my ship, and my rules that I put in place for very specific reasons, very good reasons—”

“Cos you just get to make the decisions for everyone?” asks Rose.

“Yes!” the Doctor shouts, and everyone in the room jumps.

Rose crosses her arms, staring steely-eyed at him. “Yeah, that’s a problem.”

Huffing in frustration, the Doctor turns on his heel, back toward Donna and the console—he hasn’t got the time for this, Donna hasn’t got the time, and at any rate, he’s got to hold onto this anger, got to stave off the crumbling of his resolve for as long as he possibly can, and the more he looks at Rose, the more difficult that gets.

“Well, it doesn’t really matter at this point, does it?” he asks through gritted teeth. “Too late to turn back—the holes have sealed up properly, no returning now. So I suppose congratulations are in order—you’ve successfully stowed away, against my express wishes, never to see your mother or brother or father again, and you did it just in time to watch Donna die!”

The other Doctor’s head snaps to attention, and Rose’s mouth falls open in shock. An uncomfortable silence settles over the room, thick and heavy, rife with static, the air before a thunderstorm.

Laughing, Donna waves one hand dismissively. “Oh, don’t listen to him,” she says, fiddling with buttons on the console. “He’s exaggerating for dramatic effect. I’m fine. There’s just a little wrench in the works, is all. Just a hitch. A hiccup.” She pulls a switch with a flourish, a cheerful smile plastered on her face. “A pickup. A pickaxe. An axel,” she continues, shooting the new Doctor a wink. “A castle. A passel. A vassal. A vessel. A mortar and pestle. A Nessalemian Chamber floating off the Isle of Baroo. An igloo. A hullabaloo—”

A sharp intake of breath cuts her words in half and she stops, eyes blown wide. Donna looks up at Rose with the ghost of a pleading grin, but the Doctor notices that she won’t meet his eyes—not for either of him in the room. Rose glances over his way, and he can see in his periphery that her gaze is full of concern. He ignores it.

“Donna?” Rose asks cautiously. “Are you all right?”

“‘Course I am,” Donna lies with a watery chuckle. “Never been better. Nice of you to worry about me, though.”

Leaning in, she says, in a conspiratorial stage whisper, “He’d never say it, but he always liked it when you worried about him.”

“And how do you know that?” the Doctor asks.

“Because it’s in your head. And if it’s in your head, it’s in mine!”

He locks eyes with his other self. The other Doctor does not look away; it’s unnerving, the sensation of watching your reflection blink a second out of sync with you.

“And how does that feel?” the other Doctor asks, his voice soft.

“Brilliant. Fantastic. Molto bene!” cries Donna. “Great big universe, packed into my brain. You know, you could fix that chameleon circuit if you just tried hotbinding the fragment links and superseding the binary—binary—binary binary binary—”

The Doctor closes his eyes. Gods, he wishes he could close his ears, too, that he couldn’t hear Donna’s life force draining away with every passing attosecond, her voice rising in pitch as life drips out of her like water plinking from a leaky faucet. She’s a broken record, now, the needle jumping furiously over the same vinyl groove in perfect metronome, regardless of the friction (fiction, fixing, mixing, Rickston, Brixton—)

Donna sucks in a ragged lungful of air. She sounds like she might be sick. “Oh, my god,” she whimpers, slumping over the console.

The Doctor frowns as Rose dashes to Donna’s side, steadying her with a hand to the bicep. “All right,” Rose says firmly. “We’re getting you to the medbay—can you walk?”

“That isn’t going to help, Rose,” says the other Doctor.

“Well, it’s better than just standing here, doing nothing,” Rose retorts. “Come on, get over here and help me—both of you!”

Neither Doctor moves. Looping Donna’s arm around her shoulders, Rose glances between the two Doctors, growing more incredulous with each passing second. “Now!” she shouts.

“Do you know what’s happening?” the other Doctor asks Donna.

She nods miserably. “Yeah.”

“There’s never been a human-Time Lord metacrisis before,” says the Doctor. “And you know why.”

“Because there can’t be,” Donna whispers.

“That’s not true,” Rose hisses. “Or—I don’t know, maybe it is. But whatever’s going on, we can fix it. We just have to try.” She inches toward the medbay, her free hand clasping Donna by the waist as she shuffles along. “Or don’t you remember what trying is?” she shoots over her shoulder.

“What’s the point when it won’t make a difference?” snaps the Doctor. “You’re only delaying the inevitable—either her memories go, or she does.”

“Bollocks!”

The Doctor’s eyebrow shoots up in surprise. “Beg your pardon?”

“You just said it yourself, there’s never been a human-Time Lord meta-thingy before,” Rose grits out, heaving with effort as she half-helps, half-drags Donna down the hall. “So how do you know what’s gonna happen?”

The Doctor looks to his other self for help, hands spread open in a silent plea, but the traitorous half-human just responds with a shrug. “She’s got a point,” he admits, darting over to support Donna from the other side.

“No,” says the Doctor angrily, hands balling into fists as panic rises in his throat. “No, no, no! You’re wasting all the time she’s got left!” he shouts at their retreating forms. “If we don’t extract the foreign elements now, she’s dead—we haven’t got time for anything else!”

“We’re Time Lords,” his other self replies. “We’ll make the time.”

Approximately 3.17 seconds pass as the Doctor, frozen in place, watches the three humans stumble down the corridor, getting further away from him with every labored step. On a better day, Rose and his other self may have fared better supporting Donna between them, but Rose clearly hasn’t slept for days, the other Doctor exhausted from the trauma of regeneration, and progress is slow, stumbling.

They’re not going to get Donna to the medbay in time.

Silently, the Doctor curses them both—they don’t understand, but then, how could they? They aren’t cursed with his gift; they can’t pluck stray timelines out of the air and skip to the end, read how the fairy tale ends; they’ll just follow the breadcrumbs and end up at the gingerbread house regardless, warnings and common-sense be damned.

(Even his other self doesn’t get it—are his senses really so dulled? Could he really be so human?)

From far away, he hears Donna slip and fall, pulling Rose down with her. A scuffle, a curse, a shout, and Rose is yelling for Donna to wake up.

Right on schedule, the Doctor thinks miserably, swallowing the lump of anxiety lodged in his gullet.

“Doctor!” cries Rose. “Help!”

Her voice cuts through him, sets him trembling with indecision. Probably she’s talking to the other one, the one closer to her, the one who so foolishly stepped forward to help like it would actually do anything—the one who trusted her, the Doctor tries not to think—but the thought that she might need him still tugs at something deep in his gut, still sends his body screaming for her.

The Doctor bites his lip so hard he could draw blood.

Damn it. Damn it all.

“You, help me,” he says roughly to the other Doctor as he surges forward, bending down to scoop Donna’s limp body off the floor. “And you,” he says to Rose, voice sharp, “Stay out of the way.”

He only glimpses Rose’s face long enough to see it darken with hurt. “Like hell I will.”

“Yeah,” mutters the Doctor, and his other self rushes to his aid, supporting the unconscious Donna between them, “I know.”

***

Previous: Prologue | Next: Chapter Two

[weasley-detectives]

Brave and Merida in a Trumped up world

It's a little surprising to me that the Disney fandom went absolutely apeshit over the "Disneyfication" of Merida in their merchandise - something Brenda Chapman even spoke out against, calling it a cheap ploy to sell merchandise - yet there hasn't been any commentary on other Brave spin-offs.

Merida's a Disney/Pixar heroine who, in Chapman’s own words, was created to be a different kind of Princess. Now, I don’t think it makes me a good feminist to sit here and pit Disney Princess against Disney Princess; I think popular perception of the “Disney Princess” is a different beast altogether when compared with the actual source material, which has both positive and negative aspects. But when it comes to Merida the writers intentionally set out from the start to try something new. She has a fuller, rounded figure, a nuanced relationship with her mother, and romance plays no part in her story. You could argue there’s evidence of a romantic interest, but that’s not the same thing as a romantic subplot, and it’s not overt enough that you can say with any certainty. The writers admit the original idea was to have Merida walk off into the sunset with Young MacGuffin, the suitor who briefly catches her attention early in the film, but that epilogue thankfully only exists in the artbook and deleted scenes.

And let me be clear, there's nothing wrong with Merida having a romantic interest. In fact, I came to love that Merida is subtly shown to be a little interested in Young MacGuffin. 

I was watching Mulan the other night with a @pale-silver-comb​ (who is 100% responsible for my newfound love of Disney- well, that and the fact I need bright happy escapist animation as the rest of my time is spent neck deep in miserable politics). We were cackling over the scene where Mulan ogles a shirtless Shang and later wound up ranting over how rare it is to see women checking out guys in films. When women do make their attraction known, they tend to run the risk of being framed or labelled as shameless, or worse, sluts. On the flipside, how often do we see guys ogling girls in media? Yeah, exactly. It's a shitty myth that women don't own their sexuality in the same ways men do. That's one of the things I love about Mulan and Merida as heroines - they're not "strong female characters" (god I hate that term, can we please kill it?) just because they kick large hairy man arse. They're great characters because they are so relatable. They're funny, they're giant dorks, they stuff their gobs, they check guys out, they can be crass, proud, and make mistakes. These are all things women do, but aren't shown to do nearly as often as men are in mainstream media.

I’m glad the Brave epilogue with Merida and Young MacGuffin didn't make the final cut, because the story wasn't about Merida finding romance - it was about Merida's relationship with her mother, and the two of them confronting their pride, opening their minds to new ways of thinking, and admitting their mistakes. The epilogue had no place in Brave’s narrative. To have included it would have harmed the message of the story by adding romance for the sake of romance, rather than for any narrative purpose. But at the same time I don't want to downplay Merida showing even a subtle interest because yay women owning their own sexuality. One of the things that has driven me crazy since I was a kid myself is the patronising infantilization of girls. A crush is normal, you can pretty much get them at any age, it does not mean you’re not enjoying your childhood to the fullest. Fuck that noise. I had massive crushes from the age of 4 and still managed to climb trees, get into fights and battle Captain Hook and Shredder on my T-Rex with imaginary best friend Gollum at my side (what? fuck you we had a bond). That Merida might have had a bit of a crush on Young MacGuffin reinforces for me the fact she’s a character who doesn't want to get married because she doesn’t bloody want to, not because the suitors are conveniently horrible people she vehemently dislikes. I actually find that even more inspiring. So yes, Brave is a great film with a pretty amazing heroine.

Which is why it pisses me off when spin-off writers take something so progressive and shaft it.

This isn't a ship shaming post at all - fandom is a ship & let ship space, ship Merida with her bow for all I care, it's all good. This critique is aimed at crappy spin-offs and I’m taking Once Upon a Time as an example. Now, OUAT isn’t all bad. Sometimes it takes Disney canon and transforms it into something really interesting, progressive and original. Or, well, it used to. Recent seasons not so much. The actress who plays Merida is the only good thing about OUAT's Brave arc. The rest is unbearably lazy (HA! pun.) writing. The gravest injustice has to be King Fergus, who looks like he's wearing a wig knitted from a highland cow's pubes.

Don't get me started on his accent. I’m scottish. No Scotsman sounds like that. Not unless they’re squeedging out an enormous post-curry-hangover shit. I love Fergus, but honestly I was relieved OUAT!Fergus was bumped off before my ears could go on strike.

The suitors are also sexist pigs. Dingwall and MacGuffin don't even say anything, they just play the lazy mindless followers/minions to MacIntosh who’s probably the most unlikeable aspect of the arc. Really says something about OUAT when the original animation, aimed at a younger audience, portrays its characters as more nuanced. In Brave, Young MacIntosh is all bluff- he’s a show off, a sore loser and generally a bit of a prick, but there are also glimpses of genuine empathy. He's also the suitor Merida is openly put off by in the film. So yeah, in Brave, Young MacIntosh is a bit of a lanky fucktrumpet, but he's not anywhere close to being the scabby sexist cockwomble he is in OUAT. This would be fine if it had some sort of clever narrative purpose, but who am I kidding, it’s OUAT. OUAT!MacIntosh is a proper dickhead and there’s no reason for Merida to like any of the suitors, because unlike in Brave, they’re all fucking assholes. And yet the OUAT arc still ends with Merida giving him the smitten googley eyes. Because romance or something. cool.

Another Brave novelisation published by Disney Random House ends with Merida confirming to the reader that yes, she did eventually marry. Well thank fuck for that! My frail girlish heart couldn't possibly entertain the idea of Merida never marrying. Thank you book, you've reassured conservative parents everywhere.

In addition to that bollocks is.. probably one of the worst offenders. I recently picked up a couple of the Merida chapter books by Sudipta Bardham-Quallen, again published by Disney Random House. They're for wee kids, but I wanted to see more of @gurihiru​​ 's lovely art which I’m fully smitten with. The writing isn’t great, but the stories involve challenging enough themes for very young readers. To the author's credit there's a bit of an effort made to retain a Scottish feel to them and there’s a nice focus on female friendships as Merida encounters new characters. It’s a bit cutesy-poo BFFs!!, the kind of thing I hated as a kid, but hey, we need more female friendship stories. The new characters are even quite likeable, so thumbs up there.

Then I picked up the second book, The Fire Falls (also written by Sudipta Bardham-Quallen), and cringed. Basically bad Merida and Young MacIntosh fanfic involving some classic tropes like: 'I'm not jealous, I’m just better than all those shameless slags flirting with him' and 'arg he's such an asshole but i'm inexplicably attracted to him though there's nothing to show in the story why I should be!' and my favourite - ‘He’s a bad guy but I can change him!’

Here's my main issue: why is it when a female character shows or says she’s not interested in a guy's advances this all too often becomes a springboard for their romance? Why do these stories have such an obsession with positioning the sexist hyper-masculine asshole as the romantic lead? (I'm sure that couldn’t have any dire implications for the worl-oh fuck). And in Brave's case, when the source material and original epilogue show Merida taking an interest in the big fat guy, why don’t any of the spin-offs build on that? Young MacGuffin also happens to be the only one in the entire film to vocally stand up for Merida’s rights. That’s pretty cool! So why don’t spin-offs celebrate that? The cynic in me says we all know the answer - much like Merida had to be “sexed up” to sell Disney merchandise, the fat suitor had to be swapped out for the skinny. 

Really, in a film that revolves around Merida's frustration that people aren't listening to her, it sort of amazes me that these spin-offs don't realise they AREN'T LISTENING TO HER.

And yeah, obviously I know it seems really silly picking on kids books and OUAT, neither of which are ever going to win awards for great progressive writing, but considering America just elected a vile celebrity as President and populism is on the rise, maybe it’s time we all said screw that academic snobbery and paid more attention to popular media. This stuff is common, these tropes are common, and it’s consumed mostly by young kids who internalise these crappy messages.

I make a big deal of it because these coded messages have a profound effect on us as we grow. These messages tell us to ignore a girl's decision and choice: that when she says 'I'm not interested' what we hear is 'I am'; that the most "attractive" and most "masculine" guy will always be the “natural” choice; that being fat or shy or awkward are inherently negative qualities and will always be overlooked by the loud wanker distracting everyone by waving his tiny hands around.

I'm now a published historian and I plan on publishing children's books in the near future; I work part-time in a bookshop, so I talk to kids about the stories they read, the stories they want to read, and their frustrations with the stories they HAVE read, all the time; I studied child psychology as part of my degree in Social Anthropology: this is why it matters to me and why I know all too well how much these coded messages affect us. I know it from my own experiences as a half-Moroccan kid with a dead father, growing up in a classroom of white kids who all came from middle-class households with two parents. This was all brought back to me when I rediscovered some of my old journals and stories I had written for class where I portrayed myself as being blonde/white and talked as if my dad was still alive, because I desperately wanted to be *normal*. I never got to encounter a character like Merida growing up, and I wish to god I had.

Children's authors and publishing houses have an enormous responsibility to make their readers feel included and heard. They also have a responsibility to challenge toxic ideas - not reinforce them. We have to keep pushing boundaries, not limit them.