#this is....really long.....and i'm rambling and not making much sense my apologies

[winterfromtevinter]

I want to start this out by saying that I love this game a lot. Veilguard has brought me back to Dragon Age, invested in its lore and characters again, in a way I haven't been in years. I think there is plenty that can be critiqued, but that a lot of hate the game is getting is disheartening and I just...don't want to see it. I enjoyed the game! I had fun! Sue me. And yes, I am an OG Origins player and love this universe's lore, but I'll admit to being a Veilguard enjoyer and defender too. So I've been hesitant to voice my own criticisms and have it appear as if I'm inviting all the really negative, unhelpful bashing too. I'm not.

All this being said, I had a lot of thoughts particularly with how the elves are handled here.

Game spoilers under the cut. VERY long and rambly, elf centric talk mostly.

Absolutely bonkers batshit wild to me that when we tell the Veil Jumpers their gods have come back and are very evil about it that their immediate reaction is fear and they just accept that. Now, and I don't know if I missed this being mentioned maybe, but did the Veil Jumpers uncover the truth or were somehow made aware before all of this? Did they discover things this close to Arlathan that contradicted the beliefs they were raised with?

But even so; the reality of the 'gods' and their treatment of the ancient elves is not widespread knowledge. It was this big "oh fuck" twist in DA:I that the gods were actually tyrants, their markings to denote their slaves. It was a slap in the face to any Dalish who had proudly reclaimed that, worse it as a symbol of heritage and pride after coming of age. The elvehn pantheon is still venerated by most Dalish clans to this day. How interesting would it have been to see a divide in the Dalish? I think it was sooooo silly to just have a single line about how the modern day elves wouldn't willingly follow the Evanarius. How would the vast majority of modern elves even know they're evil? And many elves are heavily discriminated against, living on the fringes of society or in alienages, or outright enslaved. They are not a monolith, and they are heavily oppressed in most of Thedas. Nuance and factions here, please!

Just some ideas but: A) these beings are not really their gods, their gods could not be these monsters. So having to prove to Dalish allies that these are the gods in the first place. B) the gods have come to liberate them and will free them from obscurity and this slow death of their way of life and history. Why wouldn't they side with them?

I also think there are quite a few characters who should have come back instead of some of the ones we were given...

You're telling me we have the whole eluvian network thing and no mention or sight of Merrill? Okay. Like Merrill and Bellara tinkering on the eluvians together and interacting wouldn't have been the most interesting thing in the world. I'm tired of Morrigan being treated like the ancient elven expert I'm sorrrryyyy.

Really, really wish we had gotten Fenris involvement with the Shadow Dragons. Speaking of elves, how interesting would it have been had the gods turned to all the elven slaves in Tevinter and used them as part of their army? City elves who know nothing about these beings who claim to be their ancestral gods except maybe very convoluted stories. Elgar'nan whispering in their ear of freedom, of broken bonds, of power and lives reclaimed? You're telling me some of them wouldn't find that appealing?

Fenris and Shadow Dragons racing to free city elves from Elgar'nan's influence, those who want to can then join the Shadow Dragon's ranks...

There's so much more too. But I've said enough I fear LOL.

[lover-of-mine]

Okay, me and @buckgettingstruck have been going back and forth since yesterday and we have reached enlightenment about bucktommy, and I'm here to share. This isn't an anti post btw, this is us trying to make sense of the relationship in the context of the show.

But imagine you're Tommy. You’ve been closeted for most of your life and you recently came out (yeah, recently, six years is not that long). You left your fiance and decided to come out, but since then most of your relationships — friends and otherwise — have been shallow. For some reason, you don't know how to turn off the instinct to keep people at arm's length.

Suddenly you’re helping your old coworkers rescue your former captain and his wife, and in come Eddie and Buck. 

You hit it off with Eddie. He’s very friendly and you have a lot in common, so you're hanging out with him and trying to get a feel for him. Maybe he’s into guys. Hanging out with him is fun, even if you still can’t find any actual reason to open up to him about your life. You go to fights, you practice Muay Thai, you play basketball. You have fun. 

And then there’s his crazy ass best friend — Buck. 

Buck is spinning out about the two of you hanging out for a few weeks for some reason. You kinda assume there’s something going on with him and Eddie and you try to apologize to the guy. Buck tells you that it's not because he’s jealous of Eddie, it’s because he wants your attention. It throws you for a loop (my attention? You two haven’t really talked since he asked for a tour around Harbor), but your interest is piqued. The guy is hot, and he’s cute in a rambly way so you decide to go for it and it works out in your favor. But in the back of your mind, you know that this dude has some very intense relationship going on with his best friend. You had to bring up Eddie’s kid to get him to warm up to you, after all. But for all you know Eddie is straight, and Buck says he wants your attention. You don’t want anything that serious — breaking off the first engagement was hard enough — and you don’t really have anything to lose by just seeing where this goes. You’ve only been out for six years, so you want to explore. Maybe this could be fun. 

The first date is a bit of a trainwreck, and the dude turns out to be too intense. Somehow Eddie showed up with that girlfriend of his he’s never really talked about, and Buck is spinning out. You decide to cut your losses and go home — even if leaving Buck on the curb was a bit of a dick move. But Buck calls you a few days later. You meet for coffee. He tells you he doesn’t know what he wants, but he wants to try with you. He invites you to Chimney’s bachelor party and his wedding to Buck’s sister as a nice gesture and you figure, what the hell? Why not? Maybe it’s a little much, but he’s trying. 

In your head, you're in a fun, casual relationship because you haven't had the conversation about it being serious. Since Buck doesn’t bring it up or ask you for very much at all, you believe he is on the same page. You keep him at arm’s length so it stays that way — when he talks about almost losing Bobby, the whole Gerrard mess. It’s subconscious, you think, but keep it light and surface level. You don't want something that deep, and he is following your lead. You maybe see each other once a week, considering you both work 24-hour shifts and have chaotic schedules. You go to dinner, you go to the movies, and maybe you make out a little. It's easy and it's fun, and you can stay that way as long as the Buck doesn't push you further. It’s been almost six months now, and beyond venting about Gerrard a few times, he hasn’t even nudged. 

It’s a little weird, though, how Eddie’s always there. And you really like Eddie, honestly, but he’s constantly around. Sometimes it feels like you’re the third wheel here. He’s already there when you arrive for Chimney’s bachelor party, dressed in a suit to match Buck’s and helping set up. Suddenly a few months later you’re being invited to Chris’s Zoom birthday party, where Buck looks just as defeated taking the decorations down as the kid’s father. Buck dislocates his shoulder — you didn’t ask why, and he didn’t volunteer the information — and Eddie is there tucked into the guest chair with a magazine and the shitty hospital coffee, asking about Buck’s recovery and return to work. You do get to stay with him overnight, on his uncomfortable couch and falling asleep as he talks on and on about the corpse he accidentally rented (and alright, why did Buck get mad at him for laughing and not Eddie?). When Buck wakes up with boils the next day it’s not even a question for him to call Eddie. Eddie talks him down a lot better than you could, even if the situation is a bit ridiculous. You don’t miss the way he snaps at you for calling him gross — mentioning your cousin gets shingles is apparently a crime — while he tells Eddie to call his appearance what it is and he’ll believe it’s stress if he says so. But hey, getting boils kinda sucks, and Buck is having a rough go lately, so you move past it. But you don’t miss how Eddie seems to sense that Buck’s picking at his face without looking up from his phone when you’re at the hospital a couple days later because of Hen’s kid. You don’t miss how everyone else gets the good news that he’s going to make it through. Everyone except for you. 

You kinda want what Buck has, if you’re being honest. He found a family at the 118, with really intense people on his six, and you’re hoping that when the relationship runs its course you can stay friends. Maybe you can still keep part of that. Maybe that’s still within reach, even if Buck won’t even show you the text everyone else got. 

Buck goes from zero to a million after that, because he finds out he dated your ex-fiance and his next course of action is to thank you for gay rights and ask you to move in with him.

Up to this point, you thought you were on the same page — light, casual, fun. He didn’t push, but then he shoved you both off a bridge and now you can't ignore the thing that's been in the back of your mind for the last six months. 

Honestly, you have no idea what’s going on with Eddie. The mustache is a choice, and he was doing some funny things with that ring pop back at the hospital, but for all you know, he’s a zero on the Kinsey scale. You know Buck has something going on beneath the surface with how he feels about Eddie, whether he realizes it or not. You knew there was an expiration date on this thing when you started, and you didn’t even mind. You kept it fun and light over the past six months. You kept your distance — maybe a bit too much, considering Abby never came up until now. You hoped maybe you’d get to keep some decent friends once Buck figured his shit out. You knew, even if you tried to ignore it. You tried to enjoy it while it lasted. 

You tried to convince yourself it wasn’t there for a while. Buck, as far as he knew, still knew, was telling the truth. He wanted your attention, your time, you. He’s still figuring everything out, and you thought maybe you had more time. Keeping it casual and slow could only go so far, in the end. 

Buck nudges once, pushes you to consider what it would be like to be in a relationship with him that's serious. He’s talking about living together and you’re panicking a little bit as a thousand scenarios run through your brain, but you can’t see an ending that's not him realizing he has feelings for someone else and leaving you. Another six months, a year, five years — it's all the same. 

You didn’t want to get hurt in this situation, but you will be if you stay. You’ve already hurt people by denying the truth before.

So you tell him — I know how this ends.

You didn’t want to. You never really planned on ending it because you figured he would, but you reached the point where you can't come back. He wants more, and you know that would just end in smoke. Not for him, but for you. 

So you have to break this guy’s heart. And you know if you break this guy’s heart, you’re going to become the villain. You lose the entrance to a family you wanted to be a part of. You lose the friendship you had with Eddie, who is just as goddamn weird and crazy about Buck as Buck is about him. You lose the potential friendship in Buck, in them both, in everyone. There’s only one way out of here now. 

Buck’s somehow still endearing as you end things. You try to nudge him for once, talking about firsts and lasts. He doesn’t get it. You throw in some line a parking spot because the second reserved one Buck got with his loft went to Eddie years ago. You step into the hall, out of Eddie’s shadow, and walk away with nothing.

[lucrativesoul]

Welcome Home

summary: you finally graduated college and are home free for the summer, planning to spend as much time as possible with your best friend. what you weren't planning for, however, was the incredible sight of her older brother, Leon, who had drastically changed after all those years. you had never thought you would fall for your best friend's brother.

pairing: leon kennedy (re2) x fem! reader

word count: 9.3k

warnings: smut, bathroom sex, public sex, fingering, dom(ish) leon

a/n: guys, thank you endlessly for 300+ followers, 250+ reblogs and all those likes! i'd like you all to take a moment to read this, apologies... i absolutely love writing. I've been writing for ten years! crazy. i do it for fun, and because i want to put out the content that i want to consume and i want to be that outlet for people who don't write but want to consume, that is just as fair! a while ago, while writing this, my laptop gave me a scare. i'm realizing now that its a 5 year old macbook, which, in apple timeline, means it might be on the way out at the blink of an eye. if you are feeling generous at all, i have created a ko-fi. it is absolutely not necessary, because i'm not doing this blog for money, but if you really love my work and want other ways to support me, it's there. i will never be upset at no donations, but i made it in hopes that i'm on this blog for a long time. so sorry for the rambling, i really hope you guys enjoy this one, and i will be back soon for a fifth fic. love u!

No matter how many young adult fiction books you read, how many love story tropes you think you have seen, there was just one that seemed so unreasonable, it was almost laughable. Because, after all, you spent way too much time with this person to ever even see him as attractive, it had never even crossed your mind. Come on, your best friend’s brother? The boy who was so ungracious, messy, impolite, and had a crude, childish sense of humor? It was just unrealistic.

Until… It was realistic.

For all your life, you looked at Leon Kennedy as the young, bumbling boy who tripped over his own two feet at any given opportunity, ready to make jokes at inappropriate times and constantly worked overtime to barge in when you and your best friend were hanging out. He was only two years older than you, but his personality read the same age, if not, younger. Boys will be boys…

You always knew that college would change a person, and you can’t deny that about yourself, but it was so hard to look at the people you were closest to and imagine that they, too, changed with college. Your best friend was still the same person you knew since middle school, and all those years that you knew Leon, he had never changed, until he left for college himself. You were confident in knowing that when he came back, he would be the same exact person, just… older.

You could not have been more wrong.

“These days could not go by any faster.” Your best friend whined to you over the phone, a daily routine between the two of you. “I need you home ASAP, Leon is driving me crazy. He’s being so loud.”

Yep, that sounded pretty in character for him. “I know, just five more days, and I’m home free, forever. I wish commencement wasn’t even happening at this rate, I’m wasting away here.”

You were finishing up your last days as a college senior at a school that was a thousand miles away from home. The scholarship opportunity was incredible, and you could not say no to this offer. Your best friend chose to stay local, which you inwardly criticized, but would never say to her. You knew her parents could have afforded to send her here, who needs that big of a house for a family of four anyway?!

Commencement was set to happen on Thursday, and it was currently Sunday. Your own parents had flown in to watch you walk the stage, and while you knew your best friend would have dropped everything to come as well, her school chose to hold theirs on the same exact day. Figures.

“I miss you guys. The summers I came home just weren't enough. I have to say, I’m so glad this internship bullshit is over. It feels like I haven’t ever even lived with you.”

You heard her groan on the other line. “I know! It’s so stupid. Why would a program even make it so you could only intern in the summer? Don't they know you are only in your twenties once?!”

You laughed at her remark, gazing off as you continued the conversation. Classes were over and exams were concluded, at least you had a healthy pile of books to go through to pass the time. You decided to worry about the logistics of taking them home at a later date.

There’s something so innocent about getting lost in the world of young adult romance. Some would say it makes their own lives dreary, coming to the conclusion that they could never live out these fantasies in the real world, but to you, it felt real anyways. It only made you happier. It puts some optimism in your life.

The comfy plane read you chose was about a high school girl, absolutely smitten over the five-years-older brother of her best friend. This type of thing, you thought, just seemed too… fairytale, to be real. In no world where you knew someone as a child could you grow up and think they were an object of fantasy. You tried picturing you and Leon in this situation. Never!

Admittedly, you haven’t seen Leon in like 4 years. The last time you saw him, it was right before you left for college, and your major requires summer internships which leave a very small window for home visits. You never crossed paths during those times. From what your friend tells you, he’s rarely home now, he must have migrated to a new group of friends in college and found other passions. Good for him, you thought, you wish you could say the same, but you needed the income from whatever job you landed from your internship.

He was never really a tiny boy in high school, he was of a pretty average build and rivaled some of the football players, but he was not an athletic kid. You can’t imagine him changing that much more, your best friend never talked about him like that, obviously, so, you only had to imagine after the last time you saw him.

From your own personal standpoint, it was just impossible to believe in this best friend’s brother trope. You shut the book and closed your eyes, willing the plane to start moving faster.

As soon as your plane touched down, you whipped your phone out to send a text: As soon as all this shit is put away, I’m coming straight over.

Predictably, less than three minutes later: YES!! All nighter, we’re 14 again. I have drinks in the fridge.

Willing yourself through all the pleasantries of coming home, promising other relatives you would be by in a few days when you are settled, you merely threw your suitcase down into your room before dashing out to your car, knowing the route to your best friend’s house even with your eyes closed. 

A tight, running start hug was the intro you both needed as a fresh start to the summer.

“Please tell me you are home for good now, they aren't making you do any more summer internships?”

You laughed as you followed her into the house. It felt like it’s been forever since you’ve been in this large house’s lived-in walls. “No, thank god. I’m officially done. Except for job hunting, but I’m putting that off for as long as I can get away with it.”

“Agreed.”

As you followed her up the steps to her room, snacks and drinks spilling over your arms, a loud cacophony rang out through the house, coming from the garage. “What the hell is that?” You stopped short, listening to it through the closed door.

“Wow, that’s how I really know it’s been forever since you’ve been here. I’m so used to it now. It’s a band that Leon is a part of. The ‘rents loaned out a car space in the garage.”

Wow, you thought, multiple things to dissect here. One: this has been going on for some time now, and you never knew. You didn’t blame your friend for not bringing it up, it wasn’t weird to not mention a new hobby of her brother’s. Two: Leon apparently knew how to play an instrument. You couldn’t recall anytime seeing him play anything, and he had never expressed an interest in singing, so that was difficult to digest. Three: their parents would give up a car space just for them to do this. They still had two car spaces left in there.

“God, it’s really been that long, huh? I’ll have to get him to spill all about this whenever he comes out.”

You heard a groan from in front of you on the stairs, and you hopped up to be beside her, headed to her bedroom. “If you can even catch him. He’s like a slippery snake. Plus, he’s so private, I don't know what happened to him. Anyway, you should come over tomorrow night and pregame with me and the girls, cause…” 

She droned on, and while you still had half of your brain paying attention to her, you couldn’t help but think about that sentence she just said. Leon’s different now? The slippery snake part didn’t make many waves, you weren’t surprised that a man in his mid twenties didn’t want to be bothered, but you didn’t expect a whole new personality to come out of him. What happened while he was gone? Or, what kind of epiphany did he have?

“Oh, my god, look at this, too. I totally forgot to send you this. I’m so mad you missed it!”

Your best friend shoved a phone in your face, and you took it, grateful for the mental topic switch. It was a group of four girls and five boys, your old friends, standing along a cliffside in bathing suits. You assumed this was the cliff jumping extravaganza you heard about over the phone a couple weeks ago. And, yes, you were also mad you missed it.

“This looked like so much fun, I haven't seen all of them in forever. Maybe we can convince everyone to do it again soon.” You looked up and smiled as your friend laughed. You looked back down to the photo. “Who is this?”

She leaned over you as you zoomed in on a man in the top right, his lower half covered by a girl bending forward for a photo, but you could tell he was incredibly toned. His hair was pushed back with water from the lake below, and a broad smile graced his features. You sensed familiarity, but you had never met this person before.

Your friend scoffs. “Girl, what? That’s Leon.”

“What?!” Has it really been that long since you’ve seen Leon in person? Now that you look at it again, yep, that’s definitely him, but why does he look so different? Thinking back, it wasn’t often you spent time with him around after he graduated high school and went to college. You saw him probably even less than you visited home during your college career, and honestly, it has probably been years since you’ve seen him at all. “He looks so… different.”

“Like I said, I don’t know what happened. Maybe he won’t recognize you either.” You handed her phone back to her. Maybe, you wondered, but you doubted it. Nothing about you changed at all. You woke up every day waiting for a magical overnight nose job and five month glute progress from the gym that you didn’t go to, but it never happened. 

The night carried on, the strange questions about Leon’s college whereabouts pushed to the back of your mind. It felt so good to be back home. The summer was only just getting started, and with the buzz running through your system, you couldn't feel anything except excitement.

“I’m out of water, fuckkk,” You moaned. Your friend giggled at you. 

“Go get some. And don’t fall.” If you were any more sober you would have glared at her for this, reminding you of the time you drunkenly took a tumble down her stairs, but right now, it was only a funny memory as you totally didn’t have an iron grip on the railing as you walked down.

The rest of the house was dark and quiet now. You remembered her saying her parents were somewhere else, so you hadn’t seen them at all tonight, and there was no longer heavy music coming from the garage. You instinctively turned your head that way, like it would magically start up again.

You stumbled over to the refrigerator, yanking it open and hearing all the bottles clink around on the door. It took you a second to collect your bearings, but after a few more seconds, water was located, and you let your eyes readjust to the darkness as you shut the door. A figure in the darkness made you yelp.

“Goddamnit, you scared me!” You placed a hand over your beating heart.

A deep laugh floated through the air at this, but you were still partially blinded. “Hey, you. I’m sorry, I thought you were my sister.”

Leon. 

You blinked hard a few times, willing the night vision to return, and a little bit of your drunkenness away. You took a hard look at the man in front of you, as good of a look as you could. You only saw a silhouette, a dark shirt, hair over his forehead, and he was taller than you, wider, stronger. This was not the Leon you remember from high school.

“Leon. It’s so nice to see you.” You tried your hardest to sound normal, but surely he already knew what the two of you were up to.

“Yeah, it’s been a while.” Slowly, your vision was returning, and his facial features were becoming prominent. Eyes. Mouth. Smile. “Congratulations on graduating, back home for good now?” 

“Yeah, yes. Thank god. Thank you.” You could now tell you were fumbling over your words, and suddenly wanting nothing more than to go back upstairs. “I’ll be here a lot more often now, so get used to me.” You walked around him back to the stairs, listening to that low chuckle that you got out of him. God, you really needed another drink.

The night and next day bore on with nothing too important left to remember about it, as long as you were in the confort of your home town again getting fucked up with nowhere to be, it was a great time as far as you were concerned. 

Though, despite continuing to drink that night and waking up a little unsteady the next morning, you couldn’t shake that brief encounter you had with Leon. You could barely see him in the dark, but you could already tell he looked different. His build was wider than the last time you saw it, he even looked a little taller. He had only ever been maybe an inch above you, but since he disappeared to college, it looked like he went up at least five. Or maybe you were shrinking. 

You were mad it was so dark and you were on the edge of tipsy and drunk to be able to clearly see him. You saw him in the photo of the outing at the cliffside, but you really didn't want to believe that was him. He was almost… sexy.

Which was crazy. You had never thought of Leon like that. Yes, there was some sort of novelty to having a crush on the only consistent older man in your life whom you weren’t related to, but whenever you came face to face with him, it was just normal. You felt nothing, he was just there. 

But this… this could change everything. Was he actually attractive now? God knows you weren’t the best at being normal around people who you thought were attractive, and that could make things infinitely awkward with being around your best friend so often. And your best friend, what would she even think? You can’t confide in her to tell her you might think her older brother is hot. This was all messed up. This is not how you wanted summer to start.

–

A few days had passed with no rift, and your momentary crisis left with no memory. You discovered, though, as much as you couldn’t wait for summer to roll around so you could be free of your duties, your days were much more boring than you had anticipated. With your past summer internships, you were always busy, and had one or two days a week to rest at most. But now, with the summer sun high in the sky and no requirements of you anymore, you were at a loss of anything to do other than sit by your best friend’s pool, baking in the heat.

“They’re having some start-of-summer party going on in one of the campus houses tonight, are we down?”

You didn’t move your head nor open your eyes as your friend spoke to you. “Yeah, sure. It will be more of a time than drinking with just us.”

She sighed. “You can say that again.”

You pushed yourself up off the chair. “I’ll be back, don’t drown.”

You listened to her sarcastic response as you went inside the house, needing a moment to cool down, and to refill your drink. As you slid the glass door shut, you were greeted with the sound of loud instruments, reminding you of the first night you came here once returning from school. Leon must have had his bandmates come over some time while the both of you were outside, as you don’t remember hearing this, or seeing anyone else. You ignored it, and stalked past the door, headed upstairs to the kitchen.

The music stopped, a door opened, and chatter became clearer without the barrier. You didn’t know who else Leon could have here, you didn’t know his friends, and you were suddenly too aware of the bikini you had on. Whatever, you soothed your anxiety, I look good.

“Oh, hey.” You turned around at the strange voice, not recognizing the person standing at the stairway, headed towards the kitchen. “Now it’s a party.”

“Dude, gross.” A more familiar voice followed quickly behind the quip, and Leon’s head became visible as he climbed the stairs. “Sorry.” He spoke now to you, visibly doing his best to keep eye contact with you. Now you could really feel your half-nakedness. 

“Doesn’t sound like you guys are making much progress out there.” You joked, turning your head back to where you were filling your water bottle. You heard Leon’s friend laugh, making a remark along the lines of blaming other people in the band, but you unintentionally tuned him out.

“We’re trying.” Leon was closer to you now, and when you turned, his friend had disappeared, probably into the bathroom. Leon was grabbing drinks from the fridge, and the two of you were separated by the kitchen island, sunlight illuminating both of you.

His hair was a shade darker than you remembered it being, still blonde, but almost brown. It came down to touch his ears, and the pieces of bangs on his forehead were clumped together with sweat. He had on a gray tank, the ones with the arm holes that go down to your ribcage. His arms, god, those arms–

“Doing anything fun out there?” He walked around the island, even closer to you now, getting cups from the cabinets. 

You shook your head. “Just trying to become a leather couch while I’m still young.” You fixed the top of your water bottle back on, but didn’t move from your spot, taking the chance to talk to Leon.

“That’s the spirit.” He placed the cups down on the counter and leaned on it, clearly standing around to talk to you, too. You noticed a bandage wrapped around his right hand as he crossed his arms.

“What happened there? Start scrapping with the wrong people?” 

He lifted it and looked at it, like he just realized it was there. He laughed softly. “This might sound gross, but it's just a callus that burst open the other day. Right when I was used to holding drumsticks all the time.”

You sighed a gentle laugh. “Doesn’t that hurt, still using it?”

He shook his head. “Nah, I just didn’t want to start touching shit and get it all gross again.” He set his hand back down. You took the silence to ask another question. 

“When did the drums start? That was never a thing as far as I can remember.” He looked down, slowly nodding his head, as if trying to piece together memories of what his life was like the last time he saw you.

He sighed. “I kind of picked it up during college. I thought it was a lot of fun. I knew a lot of guys at the time who were in a bunch of different bands, so they had access to all these instruments, and I tried a bunch, but the only one that stuck was drums. I guess it’s easy and I like it only because I still can’t read sheet music for the life of me.”

You smiled softly at his explanation. Looking at him in the daylight, now, you can see the old him in his features. He grew into his face, his cheekbones slightly more pronounced, and his dimpled chin fitting perfectly into his jawline. His eyes were soft, yet tired. Still the bright blue you remember them being.

“Are you any good?”

He smiled fully at this, looking back up to you. “Of course. I know it sounds like ass right now, but we’re trying out some new stuff. But, and maybe I’m just biased, I think we have some really solid potential.”

You shrugged, a grin still present on your face. “I’ll have to see it to believe it.”

Leon stood up now, grabbing the cups and the still tied together 6-pack. “I agree. We’re doing a local show next Wednesday night. I’m always inviting my sister, but she doesn’t like going alone, and the rest of your friends don’t like that bar.” You smiled at this. Sounds typical of your friends. “Maybe she will come if you will. And, uh, if you’re still with that guy, he can come, too.”

Your brow furrowed at this. “Guy?”

Leon shrugged. “Oh, well, she told me in passing that you were with some guy last summer. From around here.”

You paused to think about this, nearly forgetting your whole past trying to rake your brain for a memory. It then hit you. “Oh, shit, yeah, that was definitely just a summer thing. He was…” A douche, conceited, horrible at sex. “Not the best. I’m not seeing anybody. And definitely not while school was in. I was way too busy for that.” 

He nodded, standing up a little straighter. “Well, that’s good. And fuck that guy.” You giggled at his support. “I think you should come. I’d be happy to see you there.”

And, oddly, for the first time ever speaking with Leon, your stomach did a flip that only ever happened when you were talking to someone whom you liked. It caught you off guard, and your words caught on your throat.

You nodded quickly, using the opportunity to take a deep breath in. “Yeah, I’ll be there. I’ve got the time to, now.”

“Cool. I won’t disappoint, I promise.” With that, Leon bounded back across the room and down the stairs, opening and shutting the door to the garage. You sighed deeply. You didn’t like the feeling that was creeping up inside of you.

Putting your newfound conundrum aside for the night, you resolved to let loose and get back to enjoying the summer the way you had intended to. You were almost tempted to stick around and listen once his band got started with the music again as you were on your way outside, but decided against it, as your friend would surely be asking what took so long. 

Part of you wished Leon had gone to this little party tonight, considering he knew all of your mutual friends, but he was never the party type before this, and it seemed that college did not change that much either. It would make sense if he had a gig coming up, they must be preparing, but you didn’t picture him to be much of a perfectionist. Maybe that changed as well.

–

“Why are we going to this again?” Your friend asked as she followed you out of her house, locking the door behind her. She seemed awfully quick to keep up with you for complaining about doing something she doesn't want to.

“I don’t know, it gives us something to do. Leon asked me to come. Now you’re coming with me.”

“What? Why did Leon ask you to come? He doesn't ask me.” The two of you slid into her sleek black coupe. 

You shrugged as you fastened the belt. “I saw him the other day when I was here, I came in while we were out by the pool. We were just talking. And he said he does invite you, by the way, but you never go.”

She was the one to shrug this time. “Maybe he does. You think there will be hot men here?”

“We’re both hoping.” You half-assed the response, but you already knew the answer was yes. You could never tell her you think Leon is attractive now. You had been mulling it over the past few days, ever since you spoke to him, and you had no choice but to confirm it. He really, really grew into his body. You could even push the curiosity aside to wonder what it was about college that changed him like that, you were just thankful it happened.

Your local bar looked just as you remembered, dark and looming from the outside, people filing in and out simultaneously. It was much busier than you had ever seen it, but the show was most likely the reason for the sudden influx in customers.

The crowd was a thick mass, and you had trouble even spotting the stage when you walked in, but once you and your friend had found a nice little corner, vacant of bodies, and conveniently found a third mutual friend to stand by, the room seemed a little less stuffy.

You absentmindedly scanned the crowd, people hoarding in front of the stage, waiting to be the first to break open the mosh pit, presumably, people in the back drinking idly and chatting, almost like they don't even know a show is happening this night. You found yourself looking for Leon. He was in the building somewhere. You wished you could have told him you were there, but what good would that have done? He wouldn’t have come out to say hello, there were preparations to be had back there.

God, shut up already, you willed at yourself, annoyed at the mere fact that you couldn’t stop thinking of Leon.

Admittedly, you thought of that first scene more often than not recently. The muscle shirt, ribcage exposed, thick arms, sweet smile and bouncy cheeks with a strong jawline, the vision came to you during the day, at breakfast, while you were scrolling your phone, late at night, when the moon was your only company. 

You wondered what he would look like tonight. You were so anxious for him to step out on stage. Would he see you?

Your friend stumbled sideways into you, knocking you out of your monetary stupor. People were now starting to crowd in, hence the bump, and you were assuming the start of the set was about to happen.

On cue, the lights went darker, the roar of the crowd exploded, and people rushed on stage and took their places. Your eyes were instantly drawn to Leon, who, from what you could only see from the backlight so far, had on another muscle shirt. It made your legs feel like jelly.

The lights went on, and after a brief introduction from the front man who was holding a guitar, they started. Leon was right, they were pretty good when they weren’t rehearsing new material. You knew this wasn’t the type of music your best friend was into, but to your surprise, she was bopping away with your other mutual friend, both of them holding drinks. That’s probably why.

Turning back, you could see Leon clearly under the lights now, which were strobing in and out, flashing different colors and patterns. His hair was pushed back this time, exposing his forehead, and looking brand new. You liked the way it looked on him, it made him almost look older. Everytime a strong beam of light would shine down on him, you could see the glistening sweat on his skin, his face. He was so focused on hitting the beats, and succeeded everytime, and you were so enticed by it.

This was a side of Leon you never thought you would see. It was so clear, standing in the crowd watching, how much he belonged up there. He looked so confident, every move was made with ease, no hesitation, and you could feel yourself melting.

It was like a headrush, you didn’t think you would enjoy it this much, but clearly, every moment took your breath away. Yes, you were looking at Leon the whole time, but who could really tell?

Soon enough, the show ended, and the crowd was applauding for what felt like ten minutes as the individual members left the stage, thanked everyone, hopped down to talk to others. You were interrupted with your people-watching when your friend grabbed you by the elbow to let you know she was headed back to the bar for more drinks, and you absentmindedly nodded while you turned back.

You caught the back of Leon, dipping behind the stage into the back of the bar. The tips of your fingers tingled with… something, some emotion you couldn’t read… and you let your body take over as you weaved through the crowd, headed to the back.

People bumped you and yelled in your ears as you squeezed in between them, paying them no mind, on a mission of your own.

After a few seconds, you reached a hallway, a few people lingering by the bathrooms, and you spotted someone, you recognized him as the frontman, dipping behind another doorway, chattering loudly to people behind the wall. Times like this, you wished you had decided to down some liquid courage.

You stalked slowly over to the doorway, seeing flashes of shadow as people walked by, unsure if you should hang out or go in. Most likely, you weren’t welcome, it was probably for performers only, but you couldn’t help it, you continued inching closer, drawn in by an unseen force.

As you took another step inward, a figure rushed out and crashed right into you. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, bathrooms are that way if you’re looking for them, this is restricted access.” You looked up at the man you walked into, you didn’t know who it was. 

“Oh, um…” You backed up a step, and though he was making moves to walk around you, he was waiting for a response. “I was actually waiting for Leon… the drummer.” You added in the title, just in case this was a man who worked at the bar with no affiliation to the band. But, to your relief, he nodded.

“I’ll get him, just chill over there, ‘kay?”

You dumbly nodded and backed up again. The hallway was lit with fluorescents, the bright white kind, but it was still dark, with the walls and floors looking slick with condensation. You opted not to lean up against them.

“Hey, you’re still here?” A voice snapped your head back over to your left, and you saw Leon walking towards you. “You didn’t leave with the rest of them?” He must have seen your other friend there as well.

You shook your head. “They’re still here, I think. Just getting drinks.” He nodded. “I told you I would come.” You held your arms out in a here I am gesture. He laughed.

“I’m so glad. I didn’t see you while I was up there, but… I do tend to just tune everything else out when I play.”

“You did great. You were really good.” You spoke, almost breathless for no apparent reason. 

He smiled softly, his eyes holding contact with yours. “Thank you.” His hair was now starting to fall back into place on his forehead, his face was still red with exerted energy. Your eyes wandered, without your permission, his arms were shining under the hallway lights, still sweaty. You looked away, but he saw. “You look great tonight.” His voice was low, and a twist went straight down your abdomen.

You smiled back. You briefly looked down at your outfit, simply a short skirt and loose band tee. “Thank you. It’s nothing.” 

“I like it.” He looked back into your eyes, and you found yourself lost for words. He broke eye contact for a second, turned around and looked into the back room where, presumably, the rest of his bandmates were. He turned back to you. “You know,” He looked down, and took a step forward towards you, slowly, as if to test the waters. You stayed put. “It’s been so long since I saw you last. I almost didn’t recognize you the first night you were at the house.” You grinned at the memory. You were also equally stunned to not know Leon had changed so much. “Not that you weren’t before but… You’re beautiful, now.” 

Your stomach sank at his words, and with his new proximity to you, it caused you to have to look up at him. You felt a strong shiver course up your body.

“I really… I didn’t recognize you. You look so different, too.” You whispered, knowing he was close enough to hear you. “I didn’t even think it was you at first.”

He simply stared at you for a few more moments, taking in your words, and the way you looked in front of him right now. You were suddenly self conscious, but his gaze seemed to tell you that he liked whatever he saw.

“I… don’t want to back you into any corners here…” He looked down, still not meeting your eyes. “But you’re giving me a… vibe. And I’d rather fuck around and find out than never know if I don’t try.”

You stood up straighter, coming closer to meet his face, his eyes finally touching back onto yours. “What kind of vibe?” You had to say something, anything, because you could barely comprehend this situation right now. Leon was catching a vibe from you? Could he tell that you were looking at his body? Could he tell that you thought he became very sexy?

He tilted his head a little further, and his brow bone cast a shadow over his eyes, darkening them. Another shiver down your body. He shrugged. “I think I just… think you are incredibly attractive, now.” His eyes darted down your body for a quick second before resuming their previous place. “And I want to know if you want to just try it out. Just once.”

You took a quick, silent breath in. He must have been picking up your messages, even though you said nothing and only spoke to him once. Was that one conversation that powerful? Was it the hint you dropped about not being with that guy anymore? Was this something he just knew he was going to attempt as soon as he saw you? You didn’t know, and you really didn’t have the time to think it over.

You reached up and placed a hand on his chest, slowly taking the shirt on his body in your hands, pulling him closer, but with no force. His eyes darted up behind you, and he turned his head quickly one more time. He saved you the trouble, and dipped his head down and kissed you hard.

You sighed instantly, fully gripping his shirt and dragging him in closer to you, pushing your body against his as you could feel him move towards you at the same time. You were exploding, you didn’t know what to do with the rest of your body, and could only bring your other hand up to his bicep, where he then palmed your waist. He pulled back after a few seconds.

“Follow me,” His face was flushed, and when he turned around, you were very quick to follow. He maneuvered the two of you through the back room, where people still were congregating, but none of them paid much attention to the two of you. You passed by his other bandmates, and when he turned the corner, he pushed open a door, and ushered you inside. It was a bathroom. “This is the best I can do right now.”

Instead of replying, you simply grabbed his face in both hands and pulled him in. The room was dark, you could tell from under your eyelids as you felt the heat of his face on yours again, and you were at least happy for that, you weren’t too sure you wanted to see the state of the bar’s bathroom at this moment.

His hands found solace again on your waist, thumbs rubbing circles, and fingers teasing along the waistband of your skirt. Leon pressed himself further into you, sandwiching you in between him and the wall, and the stark difference in temperature between the two caused another series of shivers to run up your body.

Leon’s mouth left your lips, now wet and slick with his saliva and yours, and traced them down the length of your jaw, along your neck, nipping at the tender skin, making you sigh and arch your back, increasing the contact of your bodies. Your hands dragged along his sturdy shoulders, reaching around and locking your arms behind his neck, holding him in as he worked your neck, and as his hands started to move. You kept breathily gasping as he bit underneath your jawline, fingertips caressing your jutting hip bone, dipping lower, causing ripples to erupt in your core.

He had positioned his hands now to take purchase on the hem of your skirt, full intentions of pulling it up, when he released his lips from your neck and his face was back in front of yours. 

“Sorry that this is all we have.” His voice was low, and you almost didn't hear it over the static of the bar music softly coming in through the speakers. “We can wait if you want.”

His hand was still positioned on your clothing, and you didn’t let go of him even a little bit. You could only look up, your head already touching the wall behind you. “Where’s the thrill in that?”

Under his shadow, you saw his lips quirk up slightly, he breathed a laugh, and dove back in to kiss you. You threaded your fingers through his hair, slightly tugging, hearing him groan at the sensation. The hand that was ready to hike your skirt up did just that, and his other was gripping your thigh, lifting it higher so he could slide himself right in between. 

He made himself comfortable pressed against you, and you could feel his erection growing through his jeans, giving himself some sort of friction, and you pushed back, earning another groan through your still connected lips. You dropped one of your hands from his hair and traced down his bicep, and into the large hole of his shirt, relishing in every ridge that his ribcage and abdomen had to offer. His skin was so smooth, you knew you would never be able to get enough.

He backed away from the kiss briefly for another moment. “If I never saw you that day you came inside, half naked… in my house looking like that…” He continued to grind himself into you as he spoke, earning noises from the both of you. “Who knows how long I would have to wait?” The hand on your thigh crept upward, leaving a wake of shivers in its path. His palm was flush to your bare skin, reaching the joint of your thigh and hip, and he squeezed the flesh of your hip, digging his thumb into the sweet spot, making you squirm. You clawed at his back, you didn’t even care if it hurt him. You were sure it didn’t.

Leon hovered his mouth over yours, not connecting, but enticing you, and you could only look up at him through a foggy gaze. His hair had now fallen back over his forehead, streaked with sweat, but you hardly minded the way it was touching yours, you wanted him closer. It was impossible how, through the shadow he cast from the light behind him, you could see his blue eyes so clearly, pupils blown, the way he was looking at you made you want to drop dead.

You couldn’t wait any longer, you didn’t even have words to say back to him, you just needed to show him what you thought, how you felt, you just needed him. Your hands came around the front of his body again, not losing contact the entire way, and grasped desperately at his belt, needing to pull out his girth, needing to have his cock in your hands, mouth, in you.

You gasped, trying to form words, but his presence was so dominating, you almost couldn’t. “Leon…” You breathed, and your fingers couldn’t work the clasp fast enough. “Let me…” Finally, it slid open, you pulled the two ends of the belt apart, and made quick work to free his dick from its constraints. Your knees buckled, and you started sliding down the wall.

As you were about to hit the ground, his hands hoisted you back up from under your arms, and you could have whined, the frustration growing, the time only growing in between you getting to have him in your mouth.

“No, I’m sorry,” He grunted as he pulled you up. He put both hands under your thighs, and you gasped as he suddenly picked you up, you wrapped your arms around his neck for balance. “You’re not getting on this floor for me, we’ll save that for another time.”

Another time. Fuck, just those words alone had you melting in his grasp, his strong hands and arms holding you up, walking you around the corner of the bathroom and shutting the two of you in a stall.

“But, you already started this for me, so,” He had you pressed in between himself and the wall once again, one of his arms was still holding you up in the air, legs wrapped around his torso. He tried to separate himself as much as he could to pull his cock out, you reached down in between the two of you to help him, pulling the waistband forward so he could pull them down.

Your breath caught as he pulled it out, a solid, thick length, rock hard, and you were suddenly so mad he wouldn’t let you suck it, because, fuck you would have sucked the life out of him at just the sight of his dick. 

Once he was free, he stroked himself a couple of times, causing himself to moan, and shit, you almost did, too, and he went back to the hem of your skirt, pushing it up over your hips, exposing your small underwear. He eyed them for a moment, humming in acceptance, before sliding them sideways and exposing your aching pussy to the cool air. You, in contrast, were overheating in this bathroom, but now that you were free, it felt so nice, and it felt even better when he ran his fingers along the length, in between your folds, pressing into your clit to watch you squirm again under him.

You sighed loudly, moans slipping out with your breathing as his contact with your heat felt like heaven, your head leaned back and hit the wall, but you didn’t care, you couldn’t feel it, you felt nothing but Leon’s fingers right now.

“Fuck, you’re so wet already,” He was breathing heavily, and you choked out a whimper when he slid one of his fingers in, and it wasn’t stopped with any friction. You also couldn’t believe how wet you were, but then again, you would jump hurdles to be able to suck his dick right here and now, so it must have gotten you worked up. “You feel so good around me.” He mumbled, practically groaned out, sliding in a second finger with ease, the slick sounds becoming louder as he worked you open, and while it felt so good, you just needed him to fuck you already.

“Leon…” You kept whining, unable to say anything else, mind fading, only wrapped around the feeling of him pleasuring you, fingering you, loosening you up for him. “Please, Leon…” You moved your hips, trying to signal to him to pull his fingers out, but he resisted, his hand following the movements of your hips, only going deeper, causing you to squeal when he went as far in as he could.

“Stay still, take it…” Now he pushed himself back against you, finding your lips again and kissing passionately, trapping his fingers inside you, and when you felt them move inside of you, you couldn’t help but squirm against him. His tongue caressed your lips, the inside of your mouth, and your tongue as he was so entwined in kissing you and in fingering you to the edge, his other hand gripping relentlessly at your ass.

After what felt like forever, he backed away, strings of saliva connecting your mouths, his eyes darker than ever, and you, breathing heavily, working to regain composure. He slid his fingers out, a small hiss escaping your lips with the emptiness.

“Fuck,” He sighed, and he looked back down in between you two. He adjusted his grip on your thigh and ass as he used his now free hand to line the tip of his cock up with your entrance, you felt a throb hit the core of your pussy at the mere sight, and you instinctively tightened when he teasingly dragged the tip along your lips, not giving you what he knew you wanted.

You sighed frustratingly, and couldn’t help it but to reach down and wrap your own hand around his dick. The sudden contact made him gasp, but he caught your hand and prevented you from piloting the moment.

“Just relax…” You didn’t need to look up to hear the smile painting his face, and as much as you wanted to protest, you knew he had the upper hand. This time. “You’ll get it, just be patient.” He drew a couple more lines into you, with your hand still trapped under his on his cock, which you could feel it throb every few seconds, and he finally pushed the tip into you.

You whimpered, whole body going slack, and you drew your hand back from his dick to find closure on his shoulder, steadying yourself as he slowly pushed himself all the way in. He had to stop every other second to collect himself as well, jaw tightened, hands gripping bruises into your hips and legs, a long, deep sigh once he was bottomed out.

He brought himself closer to you, relishing in the feeling of you being wrapped around him, unmoving, and he had his face in the crook of your neck, as if to ground himself from the feeling. Your body was shaking slightly, and you could barely breathe with his weight on top of you, but it all felt so good. His skin was slick, sweat coating anywhere that wasn’t exposed to the air, and your hands drawing deep scratches into his shoulder blades.

“Fuck, fuck…” You felt Leon’s lips moving against your throat, and his breath was hot, you could tell he was desperate to move inside of you, but he was still. “You’re so tight, god…” His lips moved up to place gentle kisses along your jawline, and your head rolled to the side to give him more access. He stayed there for a second, teeth grazing your skin, and after a while you were ready for him to start moving.

You picked your head up and turned sideways, forcing him to look directly at you, wasting no time in reconnecting your lips, and, while continuing to kiss you, he slowly slid out, and pushed himself back in.

The both of you were glued to each other as he continued to thrust in and out, your hands gripping impossibly hard on his shoulders, thighs shaking, breaths choppy. His eyes never left your face, he was watching your expressions so closely, you had no control over whatever was happening to you, you could barely breathe, you were so focused on the feeling that Leon was delivering, you simply ceased to acknowledge the setting you both were in.

“God, Leon…” You choked out in between gasps, head hitting the wall over and over, trying to helplessly grind your hips into his when he thrust up, but you had no energy to move against him. He took the initiative, and every time he would plunge into you, he would stay there for a beat longer, and make sure your previously ignored clit was getting the friction it needed, which made you whine even louder.

His breaths were so heavy, spitting out ‘Fuck’, and ‘Oh, shit’, and ‘So good’ every few seconds, letting his train of thought loose as he let himself go, and lost control of the pace.

One of his hands let go of your thigh, and it landed along your chin, forcing your head down to look into his eyes. “How does that feel, hm? So hard to move in you, so tight.” His voice was a broken mess, just breaths, essentially, but it was all you needed to spur you on. 

You simply nodded, knowing the words were nowhere close to coming out right now. Even if you tried, it would be a mess of moans and gasps. You could feel him so deep inside of you, hitting that point to split you open, your pussy was endlessly wet, enough to fuel a whole round or two, and he let you know.

On another thrust, he pushed himself in and sat there for a moment, your moans spilling out without reserve, you both tensed as the unmistakable sound of the creaking door was heard.

Leon took his right hand, free from holding you up, and laced it over your mouth, silencing any sounds of pleasure that you had left in you. 

You were both stiff, eyes wide, and he had his head swung in the direction of the noise. The footsteps approached the counter and turned the sink on. If they were to walk around the corner, they would see Leon’s legs under the door, and could have easily walked in, considering he didn’t shut it all the way, it was just stopped by his body behind it.

He slowly turned his head back to face you, you couldn’t move due to the weight of his hand, and you wanted to writhe under him so bad, feeling his cock throb still deep inside of you while you both were still. Tears were practically forming in your eyes.

He locked eyes with you, and without a sound, mouthed the words Be quiet.

He kept his hand clamped over your mouth, but he slowly adjusted your position so he could slide out of you at a snail’s pace. Your eyes widened in surprise, not expecting him to move, and you used all of your remaining energy to hold yourself together, being overcome by the pleasure while also staying conscious of the person who was still at the bathroom sink. You were glad there was still music playing outside in the bar, and the sink was still running, because if it were dead silent, they definitely would have been able to hear the wet sound of Leon pulling out, and fucking back in. 

He held eye contact with you while he continued to do this, holding you so tightly to make sure nothing made any noise,and a devilish grin broke out onto his face. He was enjoying every second of this. 

He was basically getting off on the idea of pushing you to your limit, forcing you to obey what he asked you to, even if it would benefit the both of you rather than just one. If Leon were shameless enough, he could have told them to fuck off, but instead, he held you here, silenced you, yet drove you to the fucking brink just to watch you fall apart. It made you want to cum right then and there.

After what felt like ten, twenty, thirty minutes (fifteen seconds), the sink shut off, a moment of silence, and the door creaked open again. Leon took his hand off your mouth and you both sighed deeply. While holding you still, Leon leaned back to look through the door to confirm you were alone once again.

“You were barely holding it together, I thought we were going to get caught.” He said on another thrust into you, bringing your faces closer once again. You swallowed hard, instinctively choking back moans now.

“Y-you… you were making it hard…” Gasps, again, as Leon was determined to make everything he asked of you difficult.

He brought himself closer into you, and spoke lowly. “Good,” With swift moves, his free hand was around your throat, holding your head back, and he was relentlessly bouncing you up and down on his cock.

The pressure around your throat and the pressure building in your core at his movements was all overwhelming, your hands were cutting crescents into his bicep from your nails, but he hardly took notice, he was so busy moving the both of you as well as keeping an eye on your face to watch how you were responding to his movements, he was too preoccupied.

The slick sounds coming from your pussy were evidence that the situation was much more of a stimulant than you ever expected, and the sound alone brought you so close to the edge.

“I bet you loved almost getting caught.” He groaned out, his movements stuttering, and you knew he must be close as well. “I bet it was driving you crazy, having to shut up while I gave it to you. You took it so well.” Your eyes nearly rolled to the back of your head, mouth open, you wouldn’t even be surprised if you were drooling at this point, Leon had all the power now.

“Leon,” You whispered, no energy for your full voice anymore. He understood.

“Take it, baby.” He thrust harder and harder, pressing you flat against the wall, the tip of his cock hitting all the deepest points. “I’m almost there, you feel so good.”

“Fuck, Leon,” If you could grasp any harder against his arms, you just did. “Fuck, I’m so close.”

“You got it, come on, cum for me.” He pressed his forehead into yours, grinding into you on the inward thrusts, making you fall apart in his arms. A few more thrusts, grinding a few more times, and a squeeze to your throat had you gasping in a silent scream around him, panting wildly letting your orgasm loose. 

He fucked you all the way through it. “Shit, that felt so good, fuck, I’m gonna cum,” You watched him as he chased his own, sweat beads dripping down his face, his hair coated in it. His hips stuttered one more time, and as he released his seed into you, he buried his face into your neck, whimpering and biting again. 

He pulled out of you, and it wasn’t missed by either of you the way his cum dripped out of you and onto the floor. You cracked a small smile when you heard him breathe a laugh.

“I’m sure that’s not the first time this bathroom has seen that.” He looked back up at you, breathing heavily, arms shaking from holding you up. You tapped his arms, hoping your legs were strong enough to stand on your own. He lowered you slowly, making sure you were stable before letting you go.

“I hope that’s what you wanted. I might have gotten ahead of myself.” He was still standing in front of you, neither of you made moves to leave the stall. You leaned against the wall for support.

“I would have stopped you a long time ago if it wasn’t, Leon.” He smiled down at you, breaths steadying out. He nodded his head.

“Coming to the house any time soon?”

You laughed out loud this time. “I’m sleeping over this weekend.” 

He smiled wider at the sound of your laugh. He leaned in and kissed you again. “Can’t wait.”

[waitsobs]

THE LONG GAME ⋆˚࿔ chapter eighteen!

When popular actress y/n l/n's private account gets exposed, it is revealed that she has a crush on one of the girls from the girl group katseye. y//n tries to de-escalate the situation, but makes it worse, and loses her chance with the girl. The only way she think of winning the girl over is by playing the long game. 

AQUARIUM CONFESSIONS

The drive to the aquarium was pretty quiet for y/n. She never felt comfortable on her birthday. She always had a sense of emptiness that she could never shake.  

Once she arrived, she found a parking spot and walked to the front to find megan. She was really hoping things weren’t going to be awkward between them. 

When she finally got to the front, she saw Megan standing there, smiling, staring in her direction. Y/n smiled back and waved as she approached her.

“So would you like to tell me what we’re doing here?” Y/n questioned, brow raised. 

“What do you mean?” Megan answered smiling. “it’s an aquarium we’re here to see the animals.” 

Y/n shook her head, a tiny smile pulling on her lips. "No, Megan. You know what I mean. Why did you invite me here?”

"Okay don't get upset but Lara told me you don't like acknowledging your birthday." She explained.

Y/n eyes had opened as if Lara had revealed her deepest darkest secrets to Megan . She was going to open her lips to speak, but Megan read her facial expression.

"No, no, no," Megan blurted, shaking her head and holding her hands out. "She didn't tell me why, so don't worry. I won't push you to tell me unless you want to.”

Y/n was definitely going to scold Lara later but she appreciated the gesture of what Megan was trying to do. Y/n didn’t realize she had drifted off into her head until Megan started speaking causing her to snap back into reality.

“I just wanted to do something for you even though you don’t like your birthday.” Megan explained rubbing her palms together anxiously.  “You can totally leave if you not feeling this.”

Y/n inched forward and grabbed Megan’s hands interlocking them to make her stop rubbing them. “Clam down I’m not going to leave after I just drove all the way here.” She smiled, looking into Megan’s eyes 

Megan look down at their connected hands and it felt like volts of electricity just shocked her all at once. She looked back up at y/n who was giving her a thin lipped smile. “Thank you for doing this for me.” She muttered gently. 

“It’s no big deal.” Megan replied, shrugging her shoulders. “Now let’s go inside.” Megan pulled y/ns hand which was still connected with hers hauling her to the entrance.

Megan and y/n had been walking for a while. Every time they came across another aquatic animal, y/n would tell Megan what it was and where it came from.

Megan smiled, "I never knew you knew so much about animals."

"Well we did have each other blocked for like— four months so I could see why plus I don't really talk about so that's another factor." Y/n explained.

Megan scratched her neck, realizing she had never truly apologized. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. I feel terrible, and I probably made you think you did something when you didn't." Megan rambled while glancing away from y/n.

"Okay, Megan, you really need to chill out. Y/n exclaimed, laughing as she turned to face her. I'm not worried about it anymore, we're good."

“Still I just wanted to apologize.”

"And you have—by bringing me here now let's keep looking around." Y/n took Megan's hand and dragged her away to see other animals.

The next animal they encountered were the sea otters. Sea otters had been her favorite since she was little because of her dad. He always got her sea otter related things and told her facts about them. In that moment she payed attention to how the sea otters moved and how they reacted with each other. 

"You want to know why I don't enjoy celebrating my birthday. Y/n spoke out, drawing Megan's attention as she continued to stare at the sea otters. "My dad passed away four years ago, him and I were born on the same day." She added, turning her head to look at Megan.

There was a comfortable silence between the two until y/n began to speak again, pulling her attention back to the sea otters. "I hate my birthday since he's not here to celebrate it with me. It sucks, you know. You've known someone your entire life, and then they're just gone.

Megan was silent as she continued to stare at y/n. In that moment, she knew she had to be there for her. She nudged y/n and extended her arm for her to grab. Y/n accepted her offer, latching onto her arm and resting her head on her shoulder.

"I can't say the same thing has happened to me, but know that he is proud of you. Please remember that you’re an amazing person. Megan expressed as she put her cheek against y/n's head.

Megan's comments sat with y/n as they stood in another moment of comfortable quietness. The two didn't need to say anything to know that they got each other.

"Thank you so much for today Megan, I was an honestly planning on just staying in my room all day and shutting everyone out."

"You don't have to think me, I understand." Megan said as she wrapped her arm over y/n's back, bringing her closer.

And the thing is, despite the fact that the two had never spent much time together, Megan felt like she understood y/n and y/n understood her, but who knows—who truly understands each other nowadays?

masterlist ⭑.ᐟ next

Taglist: @saysirhc @urmom2314 @artrizzler19 @yeetaberry127 @yjiminswallet @lara4eclipze @meiphobic @meizinisnumberone @meganskiendielsbtc @soobnotfound @linnnsworld @1luvkarina @raviolisupremacy @peranoo @vrtualstar @ssamlovr @gtfoiydlyj @firstclassjaylee @kristalag @xochitlisbest  @yazzyminny @esccecvp @snoopyiz @vivilvr @fearnotfearmore @apersonwhowrites @blushmimi | TAGLIST CLOSED

[kanasbinwriting]

REN HANA X AUTISTIC READER

Thank you so much for your request @haleysongtopaz! Sorry that I took so long, I had to do a lot of research concerning sensory issues and autism and I hope I did an ok job.

And thank you, @clancynewmaker (and I thank your sister wholeheartedly) for helping me and answering my questions concerning autism and sensory issues!

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Ren forced you to do many things you didn't want, you've long crossed out the hope that he won't make you do such uncomfortable and usually embarrassing things, so it was no surprise that he would make you wear something more revealing and tight to "make you look even more prettier", he said. The clothes he picked out for you weren't ugly or cheap looking, they suited you perfectly and complimented your body quite well, but you already dreaded the thought of wearing something made out of polyester.

He did notice the discomfort on your face when he presented them to you. Not really understanding why you were acting like this even though he spent almost a month with you, he assumed that you just weren't comfortable in your body and he tried his best to reassure you, but to no avail, because it's not the body that's the problem, it's the clothes that give you discomfort. You know what he was capable of, and you would rather not find out what he would do if you didn't 'cherish' his gift, so you took the clothes, and he happily made his way to the living room.

As you slowly put the clothes on, you visibly winced, "Oh fuck me." whispering under your breath, your skin already felt as if it was on fire. How were you supposed to survive this?! When you finally finished putting the clothes on you felt all of your senses heighten as a shiver ran down your spine. You began to scratch and pick your hands as you looked around the room, sadly finding no comfort wherever you looked. Not seeing a point in dragging this out any further, you finally stepped into the living room. You didn't dare to make any exaggerated movements to not make the clothes rub on you too much as you made your way towards the couch, where he was waiting for you while he turned the volume up. What a great combo. His smile grew as you came into his view "Look at you!" he cooed before his smile dropped when he took notice of how you were scratching your hands and looking around the room nervously. Ren stood up from the couch. "Is something wrong?" he asked, strangely worried, but you couldn't concentrate on what he was saying as the noises from the TV and his footsteps got louder.

Before you know it you feel his hands on you. You flinched when he took your hands in his, and without thinking, you desperately asked, "Please, I can't take this anymore! Can I please take the clothes off? My skin feels like it's burning I'm begging yo-" you stopped your rambling when you noticed that he didn't say anything. He looked at you blankly and then down to your clothes. Fuck. He seemed to be in deep thought, but before you could apologize he quickly turned you around and began to undress you. He gave you one of his fresh-washed shirts and sat you down on the couch. "There, now everything should be fine." He whispered in your ear before he sat down on the couch with you. You didn't want to question his action so you let out a quiet "Thank you" instead. You let out a sigh of relief, but you couldn't help to still feel on edge. Ren's gaze never left you as he cuddled up to you, wrapping his soft tail around you. Your breathing calmed as you subconsciously began to run your fingers in his fur. That's when you also noticed his ears twitch. You began to play with one of his ears with your free hand and he closed his eyes, sighing in contentment.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

On today‘s episode of „moments in the show that confuse me“, s5ep19 has a piece of dialogue that goes something like this

Marinette: (about how Gabe doesn’t approve of her) He thinks I‘m one of those fans who follows you around everywhere, showers you with gifts and knows all your (Adrien‘s) middle name days

Kagami: Isn‘t that what you used to do Marinette?

Marinette: Yeah but I did it out of love

This scene is so odd because it feels weirdly self-aware but at the same time it really isn‘t? To me it seems like the writers sort of admit that Marinette‘s crush was written like a celebrity crush, but then this doesn‘t go anywhere? It‘s basically just „it‘s the same as a celeb crush but it isn‘t actually🤪“

Like what kind of writing is this? I know I‘m again beimg nitpicky but hey I love hearing your thoughts on the show so do you have thoughgs on this?

I'm honored that you enjoy my rambled! And, yeah, I have a few thoughts on this one. To begin, here's the full quote for proper context:

Marinette: Oh, hey Kagami! How are you? Kagami: Hello, Marinette. I'm fine, thank you. Adrien: I'm sorry, Marinette, it's my fault. I just couldn't talk to my father. Marinette: No, don't apologize! It makes sense that you didn't make it work because that's you! I mean, not you, you but you, as in, not me. Your dad doesn't have a problem with you anymore, he's even become super cool, making you pancakes, giving you all the freedom you need. He's come such a long way and that's amazing. But he does have a problem with me. He feels worried and I would be too if I were him. He thinks I'm one of those fans who follows you everywhere, showers you with hand-knitted gifts and knows every single one of your middle name days. Kagami: Isn't that what you used to do, Marinette? Marinette: Yes... except no! I mean, yes, but I was doing it out of love and, besides, I've changed a lot. Kagami: You are correct. Marinette: Really? You think I've changed a lot? Kagami: No. Well, not that much. But you're right to want to talk to Adrien's father.

This is not a terrible piece of writing. There are pieces of media where this would be genuinely funny. I've previously talked about the fact that Marinette's crush on Adrien is written like a celebrity crush and not a crush on a real person or even a proper stalker obsession. In that post, I also discussed media that features a fan getting to date their celebrity idol:

Whenever stories do the thing where someone meets their celebrity crush and actually gets to know them, there's normally a noticeable shift in their behavior as the character mentally goes, "Oh shit, you're real now." They lose the freedom that came with this being a mere fantasy.

That is the type of story where this dialogue would be funny. A story where Marinette started out as a fan or former fan with an idealized view of Adrien, but ended up viewing him as a real person by the time they started dating. A story where her view of Adrien shifts, but the things she does to show affection don't because it's not exactly weird to want to know everything about your significant other or to want to shower them with gifts. The only concerning thing on the list Marinette gives is "following him everywhere", but she doesn't actually do that in the show, so we're going to ignore that one and focus on the actual problem here.

The problem is that Miraculous never gave Marinette a reality check. There is no point where dream Adrien vanishes to be replaced by real Adrien. The Adrien that she starts dating in season five appears to be everything that she's ever dreamed he would be. He is #boyfriendgoals where he only exists to make her happy. He never shows off his more annoying behavior (and let's be real, Chat Noir can be pretty annoying at times) or spouts any bad puns that make her roll her eyes in a mixture of annoyance and amusement. He is perfection and it's terrible. This is not how you write a solid romance. There's no learning about each others flaws or even meaningful personal growth for Marinette.

We spent four seasons watching her struggle to ask Adrien out only for the resolution to be that he asks her instead. She never has to overcome that personal hurdle. After that, her biggest struggle is being brave enough to tell her boyfriend that she loves him even though he has showered her with love and affection, proving that there is literally zero risk involved here. It's a deeply unbalanced relationship that feels totally unfair to Adrien.

To be fair, there are stories where the Marinette-can't-say-nice-things-to-Adrien plot point could work. However, they're stories where a lot of focus is given to Marinette's trauma and her journey to overcome it. Miraculous didn't do that. Marinette's trauma and Adrien's response to it are handled horribly by every metric because of course they are. This is a formula show that can't handle a plot like this with delicacy and grace.

There's also the issue that, for this plot to work, the romance needs to be way more balanced. We need to be shown why Marinette is an amazing partner for Adrien who just has an area where she's struggling. We need to want them to get past this trial and be together. As-is, it's impossible to support this relationship because there's no substance to it. They're barely even friends before they get together. I have no idea why I should want Adrien to struggle through helping Marinette or why I should want Marinette to work through her issues with Adrien. There are other fish in the sea! Now that the identities are out, she can go back to Luka who she had no issues with!

This all feels very badly written YA or New Adult drama and there's a reason that I don't read those! I don't enjoy wildly unhealthy couples whose main draw is their endless drama and baffling sexual tension. I want couples who I love but, at this point, I can't even summon mild enjoyment for the canon love square.

[theshinazugawaslut]

Which girl is suitable for Sanemi, in your opinion? And what kind of character or goals in life?

a/n: my genuine apologies for not being able to finish this sooner!

disclaimer: I will be mentioning things that Sanemi wouldn't be looking for in a partner but this is not to be taken personally.

To start off, I interpret Sanemi as a family-oriented man who would not be interesting in things like partying or hooking-up; he'd date to marry, and would only have sex if he loved you very dearly and trusted you with his life. I say this because Sanemi is a man who isolates himself from everyone he loves but also has a deep respect for women, he wouldn't wish to be like his father (and even without the idea of his abusive father, Sanemi would disagree with ideas like being a fuckboy or making bad decisions). This is not to hate on anyone who does do these sort of things, this is just how I imagine Sanemi to be and what makes most sense regarding his character.

I'm going to split this into little mini-sections with little examples and explanations as well: What Sanemi wouldn't like and what Sanemi would like.

What Sanemi Would Like/Need:

Someone of unshakeable character and a strong moral compass; meaning that the person should be resilient and strong-minded, not easily swayed by others.

Someone family-oriented; this would be incredibly important to Sanemi. He is someone who places great importance on his own mother and siblings hence he'd wish for someone who holds the same importance on their own family as well. This would also play into the fact that Sanemi would want children, so he'd unconsciously want someone who is good with kids and would also want children.

Someone humble, down-to-earth, and simple. Spoiled brats and stuck-up people would make Sanemi strangle someone.

Someone kind-hearted and patient; the most ideal sort of kindness would be someone who is Tanjiro-level. Someone who could calm him down, help him rationalise himself, or help him figure out his emotions during tough times. He'd like someone who is selfless and tender.

Emotionally intelligent. He'd unconsciously need this in a partner due to the fact he is usually unable to express and verbalise his feels so having someone understand him would mean the whole world to him.

Due to his pessimistic nature/thoughts, he'd need someone who can see good in people/things. He's not looking for an overly optimistic, happy person who believes all is good in the world but instead he's looking for someone who can separate right from wrong, acknowledge the darkness of the world and still choose to make and see the best.

Goals-wise — someone ambitious or determined. He doesn't care if your goal is to crochet the world's best handbag or have three kids or open a florist shop, as long as you love it! Someone who rambles a lot would be endearing to him since he likes to just listen.

Feminine. By this, I don't mean someone who looks feminine but someone who acts feminine, someone overall gentle and nurturing, someone he could trust to slice his heart open gently and kiss him so fucking sweet after.

What Sanemi Wouldn't Like/Want:

Somebody who is too social. This isn't to say he wants you cooped up inside the house all the time with no one around you but Sanemi wouldn't be very big on placing a lot of emphasis on friends; he'd rather you and him hang out together all the time so if you dislike clinginess in the sense he will go with you to the gym, shops, salon, your family, then you and Sanemi are definitely not made for each other. So if you're someone who constantly wants to have friends over and go out with friends, he'd most likely find himself bored and slightly irritated even if he won't say anything. He doesn't understand why some people care about their friends so much; if you were hanging out with siblings or parents, he's totally up for it, but he's more iffy about friends. To add to this, Sanemi would really appreciate someone who gets along with family and he'll definitely get along for yours.

People who go partying/clubbing. Sanemi would dislike this because he thinks there are much better ways to spend his time and he overall dislikes the idea of drinking. He probably thinks bars and clubs are immature and a waste of time. He thinks if you can't have fun sober, then you're no fun at all. Overall, he doesn't like the things associated with partying/clubbing culture, and he feels like it's not an overall good place to be. He won't judge people who do it but he definitely wouldn't like it in his own partner.

Hook-up/one-night-stands; Sanemi would never partake in this sort of culture in the first place and I don't think he'd ever go with someone who does. He has different values and beliefs that don't really align with that sort of culture, so I think it'd be very unlike he date/marry someone who partook in it. This isn't for people to get offended but he'd rather someone chaste like himself.

Someone who is always angry. I see this trope in fanfictions a lot but I don't think Sanemi would pair very well with someone who is snappish/brutish like him; he doesn't want you to be a whimpering, pathetic mess, but I don't think he's ever going to fall for someone like himself, he prefers serenity in his partners.

Argumentative. You'll both just end up heartbroken and in a very badly chaotic relationship. It would never work out.

If you don't want kids. He wants kids, he loves them and really wants his own, and you'd probably find a problem later in your life with him if you really don't want kids. He'd never force you or try to push it on to you but he'd feel really sad on the inside.

[lttleghost]

okay I'm like complaining again but I wanna hear other ppls thoughts on this because I'm too impatient to wait until I've gone through all the commentary for BrBa and BCS in search of answers to confirm or deny my suspicions but GOD A FEW THINGS ARE DRIVING ME INSANE and I apologize for this ramble being maybe a lil disjointed in advance

so like, first, this scene-

if I look at this realistically it reads as Jake misinterpreting his and Jesse's parents talking about how Jesse's actions reflect back on them as genuine care, he's young, and I can imagine him having some insecurity in his parents care for him since we do know it is conditional, just Jake is currently meeting those conditions, but sensing that instability could've maybe influenced how he understood his parents talk of his older sibling.

but I just am having a hard time convincing myself that was intended when it was written... and this assessment from me could be unfair because - while I'm not quite sure at what point Jesse was no longer planned to be killed at the end of the first season - this does come from that first season, and I've heard there was a change in how Jesse was written after the first season and throughout the rest of the show there is NO evidence that Jesse's parents like, actually give a fuck about him, they actively make his life worse like when they kicked him out of his own goddamn house, and that all seems like those things have to be intended to make you think "wow Jesse's parents are awful!!!"

but then, not for me to complain about these two scenes in El Camino again but I'm gonna complain about these two scenes in El Camino again -

followed by this not too long after

because while if this movies thing of having blame being squared on Jesse's shoulders was just him talking to his parents it'd be easier to say "oh this is just a kid who was abused in a socially acceptable way not recognizing the abuse he went through and how that really did have a major effect on his life trajectory" but when these two scenes are put so close together it makes it really hard for me to not think that it's TRYING to say that Jesse is responsible for where he ended up even if they don't necessarily want bad things to happen to him

cause like I know, I know the writers are sympathetic towards Jesse but I don't think being sympathetic towards a character like him makes you immune to having harmful beliefs about addicts and criminals when they're so prevalent in wider society, like especially the idea that changing actions taken by individual people is the main problem that needs to be dealt with wrt addiction and crime instead of changing the structural problems that result in addiction and crime, like I've seen this mindset present in the fandom as well

I mean I know I have some evidence that at least Vince's ideas on justice aren't great with this bit from an interview about El Camino (also him having Jesse specifically say "I'm no cop killer" when Jesse would definitely know how cops are just another violent gang, like he could've just said "I don't want to kill anyone" instead of having cops on some higher level of innocence)

like I dunno believing at all that there's a good way to end with Jesse in prison (and not as a way to show how awful prison is either, since he talked about the idea of Jesse finally finding some sort of peace in prison sleeping) is kinda fucked up!!! I do want to fight him for this alone!!! even if like glad he changed it but I dunno the fact that he believes this just makes it easy to believe that he really would!! blame Jesse to at least some extent for what he got into, like I think that he understands Walt manipulated Jesse but I just, I dunno!!! things in BCS kinda bother me too irt just general ideas of crime and drug use ect... but I'm much less familiar with that show in comparison to BrBa so I don't feel as comfortable pointing specific things in it

like... do Vince Gilligan and the writers of Breaking Bad see Jesse’s parents as shit parents who were abusive in a socially acceptable way? or do they really think that they really did their best? is it somewhere in-between? like "they were abusive but they still didn't know any better"? or maybe is it as bad as believing Jesse's parents tried their best and them being rich is supposed to show that he had all he needed to succeed and was just a fuckup (instead of it showing that his parents had all the resources they needed to help him and... didn't) am I just overreacting because I am protective of my girl and the people that I know exist like him and am suspicious of those writing about them if I don't know all their politics behind the subject? I know I've talked to some ppl who have vindicated me w/ some of this but please share ur opinions I want to know the wider ideas on this since I feel like I just don't see it discussed that often

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Hiatus Update

Hey everyone! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season and is ready for the next year!

I'm really sorry that I keep falling into a hiatus status, but I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about some things.

No, this isn't an announcement of canceling my AUs or that I'm dropping Twisted Wonderland! I still love the series very much and I still have far too much in mind with the AUs to stop thinking about them so soon! I just wanted to get that out of the way since I realize my lack of content creation lately seems to have worried a few people, and I'd like to apologize to everyone for worrying you all.

That being said, that brings me to my next point, and...it's going to get serious. No TW, it's nothing like that! Just...me speaking my thoughts and realizations. TLDR at the end if you want to skip the ramble!

I've been writing for this blog for...gosh, I think about three years now? It feels less than that for me, but that's a lot of writing done over the years. So many AU ideas, so many asks, so much love for the AUs I've created that--honestly--I almost didn't even start this blog had it not been for some encouragement from a good friend. And I'm glad I did! These past few years have been some of the most creatively liberating times I've had before I ever discovered Twisted Wonderland (would you believe it was originally Leona that made me want to play it despite Malleus being the one that kept popping up in my feed to the point I had to try and figure out what his name was? XD).

Yet despite all that writing and hyper-fixating, I've come to realize and accept that I'm experiencing quite the huge burnout...and I have been for quite a while without realizing or accepting it.

It's not because of any particular wip fic or art that I've been slowing down. The burnout had been happening for a while and just boiled over, and I think as a result...I started doubting myself over time. Doubting that what I was writing was going to be good, or that I'd be able to fulfill everyone's requests or asks in a way that makes them happy or feel that I put as much effort into the writing as I do with others, feeling like I'd be letting people down if I don't make something as long or detailed as some of my other responses, or making promises of grand ideas and not being able to deliver on it. I didn't feel connected to my writing, that it wasn't meant for me to enjoy or feel like I could be part of.

To put it simply, I put far too much pressure on myself, and the lack of feedback or reactions beyond likes on some fics I spent a lot of time and effort on didn't exactly help my mind's relationship with my own writing. Because of that self-imposed pressure, I'd...forgotten what it was like to love my own writing, to enjoy the process for what it was and to feel like I can just write what I want and feel included in my own adventures. Writing consumed me to the point that most days...I'd only be able to stare at the blank screen or my notebooks, the words and scenes in my mind yet unable to string them together in tangible form and yet I felt terrible NOT sitting there trying to write.

It was a pretty vicious cycle I couldn't break until now.

Lately, I've been focusing more on self-care. Not just physical stuff like hygiene or cooking better home meals (though I am doing that), but I mean giving myself other things to enjoy on my self-care wheel.

This is what I mean by the self-care wheel (link to instagram post ). It puts it in a way that makes sense, and I hope it helps someone else as well! Here's a screenshot of the post for those who don't have Instagram.

I've been watching more anime and other shows on streaming services lately, I've been playing other games like World of Warcraft (which has become my current obsession!) among others, and just...essentially breaking up the routine I had where I did nothing but writing, so I could take a break. And honestly? I've been able to write other things again. But this time for myself.

I feel like I'm able to enjoy the process again.

I love my writing again!

But I know better than to just assume that things are okay now and I can jump back into the blog so soon. I don't want to repeat what I had been doing when I thought my burnout was gone and just silently falling into hiatus again. Healing isn't a linear process no matter what it's for, and things won't get better if I don't start being kinder to myself.

So to bring a long story short:

I'm okay. I'll be okay, I just have to remind myself to enjoy more hobbies and interests in my life to make each day more fulfilling--more rounded. And when I come back to Twisted Wonderland, I'll go at my own pace and remember to write for myself too. I'd still love to chat and ramble about it or even about other fandoms or things to try! I've spent far too long building this blog to let it and the wonderful people who have followed and commented and even sent asks and fanart go away, and I want to connect in a way I feel I hadn't been able to in ages. ;;v;;

Remember to take care of yourselves, and find other things to fill your self-care wheel! It'll take time and effort, but I promise that things will start to feel better the more you realize you've got other things to make life worthwhile. 💝

TLDR: I'm okay! I'm just going to be on hiatus for a while longer and working more on self-care to remember to enjoy life as it should be enjoyed. Writing and concept art will resume at my own pace when I feel I'm able to consistently enjoy the process of writing for the fandom again. Would love to ramble and chat about other hobbies and interests and interact with the community though!

[jaynovz]

So I reblogged a post earlier about how your friends don't secretly hate you or think you are annoying and the way you know that is they're still hanging around after you go on an absolute deranged rant in the group chat and that nobody has the time or energy to put into a con trying to fool me into thinking they actually like me or whatever

And that I know my friends are busy and if they didn't actually like me they would spend more time watching TV than listening to me ramble etc and all of those are very good points!

However something that I think is also important to internalize is that--

Yes your friends and loved ones do you think you're annoying sometimes. It's not the end of the world! Because everybody's fucking annoying sometimes and *you* think they're annoying sometimes too. Even people who really really enjoy your company and like you are not going to like you 100% of the time. That is perfectly fine and normal.

The problem arises when people snip and snap at each other because they're annoyed and don't apologize or acknowledge it, right. There are many times that I am annoyed with my loved ones and so what I do is if it's not some actual big problem that needs to be unpicked I just take a deep breath and go take a walk or disengage and do something else.

You have all made a pact with each other that we like each other enough to move past any of the annoying moments. Again as long as it doesn't become toxic and it's not an actual issue.

Like sometimes I get in a mood and I talk and don't make sense or I'm grumpy or I honestly just talk too much or I talk in circles

I imagine at certain points that can be annoying

Anyway just a revelation that I had that it's fine if you're annoying, it's fine if you're a burden, we're all burdens on each other, that's called being alive and having relationships. Deciding to stick with a relationship and to keep working on it is the commitment we all make and choose to continue carrying that burden. Hopefully it is reciprocal but it will go in phases and cycles it's not going to always be 50/50.

All of that to say, you're allowed to annoy your friends and they're allowed to not always be 100% happy with you and vice versa. It doesn't mean they don't care about you, it means that human beings rub each other the wrong way sometimes and then we all as, hopefully, mature adults deal with it and grow and continue on.

[innxrvision]

So long - pt. 2 𒂭

part 2 of 3 ------------ 𖦹 tags: james hetfield x reader, fluff, smut, best friends to lovers, bet, 80s james, a little angst if you squint ♱ a/n: here's part 2 just like i promised! Also... this got too long again and I had to split once more, I'm sorry. Next part will be the last hopefully! I'll probably only be able to post it on wednesday or thursday tho, but we'll see how things go! Thanks to everyone that has been reading and liking my story, it truly made me happy!

𖦹 part 1 𖦹 part 2 𖦹 part 3

Both of you entered the bar already chatting excitedly, just as you imagined, whatever disagreement that came between you two couldn't last long. You and James' friendship went way back.

"Let's get you a drink." James' playful smile made you smile involuntarily back.

He ordered two beers and raised his glass after you two settled down on a table near the wall, on a spot where the soft yellow light shined right on James' blonde locks.

"To making up!" He said, the smile never leaving his lips.

"If you say so." You shrugged, raising your glass too, but there wasn't any hint of resentment in your voice.

"I really am sorry about what I've said to you earlier. I never wanted to hurt you." He repeated his apology sincerely.

You shrugged again in response, not wanting to make a big deal out of it again.

"What has gotten into you anyway?" You asked genuinely curious before taking a sip.

"I don't really know." He admitted and you could sense some embarrassment coming from him. "I guess my emotions were all over the place and I took all on you. I truly hope you can forgive me."

You just nodded in response, you could easily understand his side.

Soon one beer became two, then three… and before you could realize it, both were a bit too drunk, laughing obnoxiously loud at each other's stupid jokes.

At a certain moment, while James were rambling about his new guitar, your mind wandered as you studied his features under the soft light. The unruly blond hair now gained a different shine, the blue eyes seemed more vivid, and the skin covered by acne suddenly got a different charm to it.

You've known him for years, but, for some reason, the realization that he had grown into a man only hit you now. It's not like you haven't noticed his changes at all, you could admit the boy you knew had gained the charms of a man a long time ago, however, something at that bar made it all become more evident. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Regardless, you just stayed silent, lost in your thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" James' voice cut through your mind, his eyebrow quirked in confusion. "You're looking at me like I have two heads or something." He added, a chuckle coming out of his lips.

You snapped out of it as soon as you heard him, your cheeks heating up in response to his question.

"What?" You laughed nervously "Sorry, just got lost in my thoughts for a moment, go on."

James grinned, finding your flustered expression too amusing to let it go.

"I must really put you in a state to make you blush like that." He took another sip of his beer and kept grinning at you. "What were you thinking about before? I'm curious now."

You tried your best to appear bored and rested your elbow on the table, putting your chin on top of your hand.

"Nothing. Just… Work."

He studied your face and the playful expression he had before turned into a smirk.

"You're hiding something." He teased. "You're a terrible liar."

You rolled your eyes, pretending to be offended by his observation.

"I'm not!" You shot back. "I said it's nothing. You're too curious for your own good."

"Come on, tell me." He nudged your shoulder. "It's not fair if you keep it a secret."

"Not fair? What? Don't you have any secrets?" You scoffed.

"Of course I do. But your secrets are much more interesting to me right now than my own." He leaned closer and raised an eyebrow, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So spill it. What were you really thinking about? Was it a boy?"

You looked at him incredulous, just wishing he would drop the subject.

"You can't be serious." You looked with concern in your expression at him and he laughed in response.

"Oh, I'm being serious. You were blushing so hard, so it must be a boy." He grinned, crossing his arms. It was clear that he was enjoying messing up with you. "So come on, spill it. Is it someone I know? Do you want me to hook you up?"

"No! What? You're crazy." You couldn't believe he thought you wanted him to hook you up with somebody.

"I know you're thinking about someone, just tell me already. Who's the lucky guy?" He pressed again.

"There's... No one!" You were starting to get frustrated.

"Oh, please. You can't fool me, I know you. You were obviously daydreaming about someone." He raised an eyebrow again and you had to take a deep breath in order to control yourself. "Is it one of the guys? Lars maybe? Or... Is it Kirk? I know you two are very close. You got a thing for him?" His voice dripped with amusement, it was clear he was enjoying teasing you.

"What?!" You opened your mouth in shock as he started pointing names. "I've never...! I never liked Kirk! Where did this come from?!"

"I can see the way you look at him sometimes." He chuckled, it seemed like he was testing you. "If it's not him, then who is it? I won't leave you alone until you tell me."

"Kirk is like a brother to me!" You said offended, your cheeks getting hot once again.

"You're protesting a little too much. I know you're hiding something from me." He studied your blushed face in silence for a second "Well, whoever he is, we can play matchmaker and set you up on a date." He batted his eyelashes dramatically at you and laughed.

"Why are you so invested in being my wingman? Who says I need one?"

You were getting tired of this talk. One second of distraction staring too much at him and now you had to deal with James playing guess by himself. He already loved getting on your nerves, but whenever he got drunk that would get worse.

"You've been single for almost a year now." He grinned. "I just want to help you find someone to share your life with."

You couldn't believe he decided to throw that on your face. Ouch. You sighed and looked around the bar for a second, trying to find a good response.

"Why don't you worry about your own love life?"

He chuckled again, shrugging off your comment.

"You know I don't do long-term relationships." He said casually. "I'm more of a one-night-stand kind of guy." He winked and that irritated you.

You looked down at your hands, trying to navigate your feelings. For some reason, hearing that he had been sleeping with other girls made you feel jealous. You tried your best to not seem affected, but James noticed the shift in your reaction.

"What's wrong with one-night stands?" He asked, his tone playful.

"I just think it's gross." You cursed yourself mentally for your childish response.

"C'mon... You're such a prude." He rolled his eyes and teased you, nudging at your arm. "One-night stands aren't gross, they're just casual fun. You should try it sometime, it might loosen you up a bit." There was that smug grin again that made you heated.

"I don't need to loosen up, I'm fine the way I am." You tried defending yourself. "And also, I'm not a prude."

"Sure, keep telling yourself this." He shrugged, that grin only growing wider at your frustration. "But deep down, you're just a boring goody-two-shoes who wouldn't know how to have a good time if your life depended on it." He continued. "Bet you've never even been on a proper date before."

You scoffed. Yeah, he made a habit of teasing you and yes, that would worsen whenever he drunk, but tonight he seemed even more invested in driving you nuts. "Is it just the alcohol?" You asked yourself.

"Of course I have!" You crossed your arms. "I can have fun just fine. I just think the girls you hook up with are gross."

You tried attacking him, but it was clear that your response only amused him even more.

"Gross, huh? Interesting choice of words." He leaned closer once again. "Does that mean you think I'm gross too? For hooking up with random girls?" He waited for your response, staring at you.

"I've never said that." You regretted mentioning his hookups and sighed.

"I know you're judgmental of my dating life." He leaned back and shrugged. "You're probably just jealous that I'm getting some action and you're not." He smiled triumphantly.

"Who says I'm not getting some action?" You tried your best to sound convincing but your attempt only made him laugh.

"Oh, really? With whom exactly? A pillow? A stuffed animal?" You blushed and he caught your reaction. "I knew it. You don't have anyone. Which is why you're so sour and uptight because you're not getting laid." He taunted.

"You're such an ass." You looked away and rolled your eyes. "It's none of your business, maybe? Just leave my love life alone, please." At this point, you had given up winning this conversation.

"Alright, alright. I'll leave your non-existent love life alone." He raised both of his hands in surrender. "But if you need some advice on how to get laid, come to me. I'm something of an expert, y'know?" He winked playfully.

"Like I would take your advice." You laughed sarcastically, seeing the perfect chance to annoy him back. "Bet you don't how to please girls at all." You added, certain that this would drive him crazy.

In response, he just smiled and shook his head. A different reaction that you were expecting.

"Oh yeah? You think I can't satisfy a girl?" He said confidently and leaned closer to you once again. "In fact, I bet I could satisfy you better than any other guy you've ever been with."

You stopped in your tracks, wondering if you heard him right. "He's just trying to get a reaction of me." You thought to tranquilize yourself.

"No way. Bet you take like... One minute." You decided just to keep teasing, trying to give him hell back for being so annoying.

"You think I'm that bad?" He raised an eyebrow with a smile on his lips. He then went silent for a second and something in his expression changed. "How about we make a bet then? If I can't please you better than anyone you've ever been with before, I'll do the dishes at your house for a week. But... If I do a good job, you have to take me out on a date."

"What?" Your mind went blank with shock and you felt a wave of heat from the embarrassment go through your entire body. Everything was all fun and games until now, but now you were just dumbfounded.

James noticed the shock in your expression and bit his lip, realizing he may have overstepped, but it was too late to take back now.

"Just hear me out. It'll be fun, it's just a harmless bet." He said quickly. "We are friends, right? What's wrong with having some fun?" He tried.

You couldn't even look straight at him now. It's true that you've been getting more and more attracted to him, but since you were best friends, you never expected this kind of proposal to come from him. Was it the alcohol? Was he just trying to prove a point? Your thoughts ran a 100 mph, trying to decide what should you do.

"I..." You started, then shook your head in an attempt to clear your mind. "Fine, it's a bet."

[bloodlinemadness]

Abandoned 🩸

Gif from BLasmanis on Tenor

A/N: Something I had written for Wattpad, but I thought I'd post it on here first. This is actually my first fic on here & it is horror & Halloween based. This will be multiple parts. Kinda wish there was something written about Tama on that day, but I'm gonna do him justice! If you're a gamer & a fan of Resident Evil, you might like what's in the end 👀

Pairing: Tama Tonga x Fem! Reader

Characters: Tama Tonga, Solo Sikoa, Tonga Loa & Jacob Fatu.

📸: Gifs & pics aren't mine credit to WWE , BLasmanis on Tenor & Resident Evil.

Word Count: Almost 3k (apologies if it's kinda cringy).

Warnings 🔞⚠️: 18+, Swearing, mentions of sm*t, dirty talk, suggestive, car problems, almost car crash (everyone is ok), paranormal shit, being stranded. Minors DNI! Not properly proofread!

Written for fictional purposes only & does not depict who they are in real life.

Hope y'all like it!

⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚⋆.˚ ☾

It was Halloween night, you & The Bloodline were returning from a house show & heading back to the hotel. Unfortunately, there weren't any hotels nearby so you had to take the long way back. You were in the SUV with Jacob driving, Solo in shotgun, Loa in the middle & you & Tama in the backseat. Just like Paul Heyman was the Special Counsel, you were the same to the new Bloodline & you also happen to be dating Tama 2 weeks after Heyman was kicked out. They replaced him with you & you've been inseparable from them since.

"God, I'm freezing" you said. "Jacob could you turn the heat up a bit, please?" "I gotchu" he said turning the car heat up a few notches. "Thank you" you said, he nodded. "Babe, what do you need a heater for when I'm right here? Cuddle up to me" your boyfriend said. "Okay, Gremlin who needs a fwiend" you smirked earning a groan from him. You cuddled up to his chest as he wrapped his muscular arms around you, you felt the heat radiate from his body making you sigh in content & rest your head on his chest.

You heard someone fake gag from the seat in front of the both of you. "Looks like someone is infamously jealous of us, baby" smirked Tama making you giggle. "Me? Jealous? Never" defended his brother Tonga Loa "I'm cringing at Y/N's sense of dressing, I mean really? A sweater dress? & boots? We're in the single digits of this weather for God's sake. Are you trying to freeze yourself to death?" "Well sorry, I had to grab whatever I could so our Highness Chief doesn't make it late to a show where people don't even wanna acknowledge his ass & I gotta hype it up" making your boyfriend giggle next to you. "I heard thaaat" sang out Solo "I don't caaare" you sang back. You & Solo were like siblings & had your banters & jokes, but when it came to life & work you had each other's back no matter what.

"Tama my right hand man, please punish that woman & make her come to her senses-"God no!" interrupted Loa "please don't encourage them, I already dealt with enough the night before, they were going at it like animals in the room next to me & I couldn't sleep" he rambled, making you & Tama burst out in laughter. "I don't think I needed to hear that information" said Jacob "neither do I" concurred Solo. "I'm just saying, how much longer until we get there? I'm starting to freeze too" said Loa while looking out the window, they were driving up the road through a dark forest, it was pitch black everywhere, no lights. "This area is kinda spooky" he mumbled, but audible enough for you & Tama to hear.

"Aww, little bro, why don't you come back here & cuddle with us? We could really use the heat too. The more people the better" requested Tama. Loa scrunched his face up in response "no thank you, I don't want it to look like Y/N's dating both of us. Plus Shaylee would find me weird for cuddling with my older brother & his girl" he said. "Ah Shaylee, the girl you've been seeing. How are things with her?" asked Solo. "We're good, I had a video call with her before the show. When I get back, I'm gonna take her to the new Mexican restaurant in downtown that opened earlier this month & then take her to an art gallery nearby" smiled Loa. Tama fake yawned "art gallery, boring" he said making you playfully slap his chest "let your brother be happily in love" you said.

"And what are you going to do during your time off?" questioned Loa. "My days off don't include staying stuck at home, fooling around on a podcast & making love to my girl all day" said Loa. "My house is big, maybe you are jealous, we can go anywhere there, and it's not my fault my girl is so beautiful. Ain't that right ma chérie?" Tama asked you. "Stop calling me that, you know how I feel when you speak French" you blushed. "I need to do it more often then if that gets you excited" he smirked tickling you, making you giggle. Loa whined "Are we there yet?" "Not even halfway" said Jacob. "Shit, we better not be lost" he said.

He turned to you both "so what are your plans when you get home, lovebirds?" he asked. Tama scratched his beard, "well, it's gonna be a long day we're gonna get out of bed, depending on how long we can't get enough of each other-"get to the point!" interrupted Loa, causing you to jump & Tama to roll his eyes. "we're going to watch a movie at the theater" he said making you perk up "Smile 2???" you beamed. "The one & only, I know how much you love horror" smiled Tama. You squealed "I love you!" you said hugging him tightly he hugged you back tight "love you more" he said.

"But yeah, after that we're gonna go on a long drive somewhere, dine there, walk around, come home, freshen up & then have our alone time" he whispered burying his face into your neck, "your beard is tickling me" you giggled. "I know other places where my beard can tickle you" he whispered, you gasped quickly covering his mouth hoping Solo & Jacob didn't hear that, obviously his younger brother did which he cringed at. Tama started making his work famous signature noises while nipping your neck, "stop!" you squealed attempting to move away, and he had a tight grip on you holding you in place, preventing you from leaving. "I can't take it anymore!" Loa whined loudly. "Jacob, please stop on the side of the road. Solo! Switch seats with me! Please!" he pleaded.

"Just try to distract yourself from them. Talk to Shaylee" suggested Solo. "I don't know if she's still awake, but I'll text her" said Loa whipping his phone out & checking it. "Huh, it's funny how you say that Solo while we're in the middle of a forest, cause there's no signal!" he snapped. "What?!" he said taking out his phone "I don't have signal either, the hell?" " What the f-ck?! My GPS just shut off!" stressed Jacob. You & Tama both whipped out your phones as well, checking it. You showed him your phone screen indicating that you don't have signal either, he checked his, same thing. "Yeah, no luck on our side either" he said.

"There's no end to this road either" said Jacob, "it feels like I've been driving through this forest forever. I don't know how we're going to reach the next town & get signal" he said shaking his head. "Okay, let's not panic. Just do your best. Let me know when you want to rest & I'll take over the wheel" assured Solo, patting his back calming him down. He said his famous "I love you Solo" "I love you too Uce" he responded. Jacob took a deep breath & drove. There was silence, only the sounds of the car engine running, the faint music on the radio & everyone's breathing were heard.

The song on the radio finished & an intro to a familiar song started playing, Dancing In The Flames by The Weeknd (if you don't like it you can think of another song). Tama smiled looking at you & breaking the silence, "hear that? That's our song" you smiled back & nodded "love this song so much. Our romantic love song" you said running your fingers through his hair & kissing his lips. "You mean, your grinding on each other in the club song?" corrected Loa. Tama pulled away & scoffed in response to what Loa said. "Stealing all your shaving supplies & treats when we get home." said Tama "you can meet Shaylee looking like a bitter ass Chewbacca"

"Y'all nasties grinded on each other to that beautiful song?" cringed Solo. "It was one time! We were drunk!" you confessed. The radio shut off all of a sudden. "Hey!" you yelled. "Solo, what the f-ck?! A good song comes on & you shut it off? Turn it back on!" commanded Tama. "I didn't do that!" Solo said raising his arms up in defense. " I didn't even touch it!" he said attempting to turn it back on, but it didn't work. "It's not working " he said in disbelief. "Great, now we're doomed. No phone signal, no music, we're driving through a long dark ass forest & I got the couple of cringe sitting behind me" ranted Loa, making Tama flick the back of his head.

After a minute, the headlights of the SUV started to flicker on & off getting Jacob's attention; he shifted his head forward to check it out. "What's going on with the headlights?" asked Solo "That's what I'm trying to figure out" answered Jacob. "Is everything full? Gas? Oil? Headlights are new right? Battery?" asked Loa. "It's a new SUV we rented. Everything is nearly full. Filled gas before we hit this road. I don't know what's the problem" said Jacob. The vehicle all of a sudden braked, rear wheels being lifted off the road, shifting it & all of you forward, hitting the seats in front of you & Jacob & Solo hitting the dashboard. The wheels on the end of the vehicle went back on the ground & everything shut off. "F-CK!" screamed Jacob holding his chest. "UGH!" groaned Loa getting up from under the seats. "WHAT THE F-CK IS HAPPENING?" yelled Solo. "OW!" you yelled in pain.

"Is everyone okay?" asked Solo. "We're alive" responded Tama. "You okay baby?" he asked turning his attention to you. "I hit my neck on the headrest" you said rubbing your neck, he carefully rubbed your neck. "HELLO?! Can I get a neck rub too?" asked Loa. Tama waved him over & rubbed his neck, after taking care of you. "Took a hard fall there didn't you?" he asked his little brother, Loa nodded in response. "Alright let's get out" said Solo "it's freezing out there!" you protested. "You can stay, but we need to find out what the problem is with this vehicle" said Jacob. Opening his door & stepping out.

"Tama, we need you" said Solo. "what?" you whined. "You know I was in the Air Force, baby. I was kind of an expert in all this mechanical engineering & reparation. They need me, I'll be back shortly" he said kissing your forehead. "Okay babe" you nodded in understanding, making room for him to head out. He went outside to lift the hood of the SUV & check what the problem is. Solo turned the flashlight of his phone on so he can get a better view. Only you & Loa were left sitting inside.

"Some trip huh?" he asked. "I knew we should've went to the airport after & went home from there. I hate this stupid company for controlling our schedules" you sighed. "Realized it's Halloween, we could've been either out getting all the free candy, going to some party or a haunted house" said Loa. "I didn't realize that" you said "I know Tama wanted to take your nieces & nephews out trick or treating too. Feel bad for them" you sympathized. "Our sis & parents are there, they're in good hands for Halloween til we get back. They're probably trick or treating with their cousins" assured Loa. You nodded "thank you" you said. "Don't mention it."

The boys came back inside, Tama sat beside Loa. "Tried to get a signal outside so we can call someone, but nothing" sighed Solo. "Did you find out what the problem was?" asked Loa. "Nothing, I checked everything & it seems to be in order" answered Tama rubbing his head in confusion. Since the car shut down, it was starting to get cold inside & you all didn't have signal on your phones either to call anybody. There were 5 of you & if you had to spend the night in the SUV there wouldn't be much room to sleep in. "Maybe we should see if any other cars are coming down this road & if they are, ask for help?" suggested Loa. "That sounds like a good idea, let's check" said Solo.

°。°。°。°。°。After 30 minutes °。°。°。°。°。

"ARE YOU F-CKING KIDDING ME??? NOT A SINGLE VEHICLE PASSED BY?!" yelled Jacob. "Maybe everyone's asleep?" guessed Loa. "Still got no signal" said Solo after checking his phone. Snoring was heard, all 3 men turned their heads towards the backseat where you were sitting. You awkwardly smiled at them. They saw Tama laying on your lap, sleeping. "How the f-ck can he sleep through a crisis like this?" asked Solo in disbelief. "Man's snoring like a f-cking hyena as if there's nothing to worry about" said Jacob agitated. "I've grown up with that & I can tell you it has happened many times" said Loa looking over at his older brother, jealousy forming within him watching him sleep peacefully.

"Hey, y'all see that?" asked Solo, looking into the forest. "What do you see?" asked Jacob. Solo squinted his eyes "I see a lit up pathway, it looks like it leads to somewhere" he said. "And why should we believe that?" asked Loa. Solo narrowed his eyes at Loa, "those lights didn't grow on grass, they were obviously man made which leads to somewhere. People have probably walked down that path & if we follow it, it could get us somewhere & maybe we could get some help" said Solo. "So we're all going to get out of car & walk out in the cold?" asked Loa. "We don't know if don't try & it could be better than us freezing our asses here all night" said Solo. "I mean, he's right if anything else goes wrong we could always come back here" said Jacob.

"Alright, let's try it out" said Loa. "Hey, Y/N, wake sleeping beauty up & let him know we're leaving" said Solo. You nodded & shook the man on your lap attempting to wake him up "babe?" you said, he groaned but it didn't faze him, you spoke louder shaking him "Tama?" still nothing. "Y/N, I got this" said Loa stopping you. He went close to Tama "YEYEYEYEYE!!" startling Tama awake & him falling onto the bottom."What the f-ck man???" said Tama. "See? You just gotta try that or just say our dad's here, that'll set him straight" said Loa smiling. "Thank you" you smiled.

"We're still here?!" Tama asked in shock. "What, you dreamt the car magically grew wings & flew us out of here?! Bundle up, we're taking a walk" said Loa. Tama sighed & put his coat on. All of you stepped out of the vehicle. Jacob locked the car, left a red light in the front from his key chain just in case you all got lost & can detect the car on the way back. "What happens if someone tries to steal the car?" you asked. "If we're lucky to even get signal, I'll get notified & if anyone goes near it, hopefully the car will start working & the alarm will blast on which we'll hopefully hear if we're not too far." assured Jacob. You nodded in understanding.

"Okay, stay close everyone" said Solo "we don't want anyone getting lost," everyone nodded. You all walked towards the pathway of lights, Tama held your hand throughout the entire time as you all walked up the lit up pathway. The five of you continued to follow that pathway, there were some strange noises heard on the way which made you hold onto Tama as you walked deeper into the forest & over a small bridge.

After 20 minutes of walking. Solo stopped, making you all stop behind him. You all looked up & were amazed at the view in front of you. It was a large home on a hill, lit up with a waterfall behind it. "Wow" said Solo in amazement, Jacob & Loa looked at each other, same with you & Tama. The place had a gate in front of it. "Are we really going to go in?" asked Jacob. "Well, we have no choice, can't turn back now" said Solo. "I don't know…a house in the middle of the forest, and that being gated too. Do you think these people would be happy to see us on their property?" doubted Loa. "It's a house surrounded by a forest, obviously animals are roaming around that's probably why they kept it gated so they don't get in" answered Solo.

Due to the cold & your outfit, you started shivering & your teeth stated chattering getting everyone's attention. You held onto yourself. "Baby, you okay?" asked Tama. "Yeah, just freezing" you said. "Wear some pants or at least warm leggings next time" said Loa, earning a death glare from his brother. "Here, I gotchu" said Tama zipping open his coat & letting you into it so it could cover you both. You cuddled up to him "better?" he said covering you "much" you sighed in content. He zipped his coat up. "Well, I don't want Y/N & the rest of us to freeze to death here, it's cold as balls we should try knocking & see if they're nice enough to let us in" said Tama. "Alright, let's go" said Solo.

"I still don't think it's a good-hey! Don't leave me!" yelled Loa as everyone walked away from him. He sprinted after them. "Watch your step, we don't want anyone to fall into the water there. The current on that waterfall is pretty strong" said Solo, everyone walked carefully to the front of the gate. Solo inspected it, and tried to open it. "Uce, could you help me open this please?" he requested to Jacob. Jacob nodded, & they both grabbed the heavy iron made gates & pulled it hard, and just like that it opened.

Feedback is appreciated!

[crayonsquadlilac]

I had to scribble out his ending dialogue. I just couldn't lose this image i had in my head, of this poor charachter who tried his best still (for lack of a better word) dying, and not screaming or crying when it's happening but instead saying this and then gently apologizing, like it's his fault, and that's the last he ever says. I think this scene's gonna stick with me for a while.

I'm actually so sick about him like god like "I've wasted my whole life hiding, I think I should try saying hello." God. Me when the character is kind and well meaning and funny and silly and yet tragic by nature. Me when the character never gets the good ending they deserved (in a well written way.). What the Hell. God

Super Ultra Rambling under the readmore if you're curious about my elaborate Thoughts;

Ik is my favorite charachter because he is very silly and my best friend ever in the world but also because of the Tragedies. He's a person used to fear, a people pleaser, who let mr. Sob manipulate him and turn his hotel into something he never wanted, simply pretending it was still the same, who spends the whole game trying so hard to keep you in high spirits and unworried even when he himself is terrified. Someone who cares too much and tries so hard and probably never even gave nearly as much to himself as he did to others. Even at the end, as he describes to you all the horrors that unfolded on earth, he makes jokes and quips and keeps up his goofy manner of speaking despite the information clearly disturbing him.

When he tells you the story of his death, he never once mentions anything about how sad it is, and if you respond with "I'm sorry," he says like basically "oh it's fine," before hesitating with a concerned look on his face. His death may be something he avoids thinking about a lot.

And describing him, i can't help but relate to him, understand him, perhaps that's why I am so Insane about him right now.

I think this game is about, no matter what happens, at the end of it all it will still be the end. It may even end sooner than you'd expect. The human race before dying out solved all their problems and created a perfect world, Ik tried hard to do good and make people happy, Mr. Sob gained his own twisted control over many souls of the afterlife, you the player just kept going onward as much you could, but they all came to the same unceremonious end. I suppose it all matters on your perspective- do you focus on the ending, or how you got there?

When Ik tells you about his death, he describes how he saw the stars, and the view of his town from all the way high up, how he stopped and looked for a long time. But he couldn't stay forever, he had to keep moving. I think that's the part that mattered most. Even in so terrible a situation, he got something beautiful out of it. And like i guess part of the game is, "we can't stop what's coming, there's no use hiding, so we may as well face it with a smile and a greeting." Or maybe more like "the time will pass anyways" type of thing. If that makes sense.

I've seen some people interpret the Morning as everyone is brought to a final resting place peacefully. And of course, it's wide open for everyone to interpret it however, but for me personally I thiiiink Ik was probably right about it being the end of time. The thing seemed a little bit too obliterating-you-type-deal in the final cutscene. All the humans are dead and it's time for their afterlife to go too now. Maybe it's to make room for something that'll replace us, or to start over from scratch with everything, but for all the human souls, it's the end.

Maybe the sole survivor of all existence is Shrimp, in the afterlife, always running from the Morning, wandering for eternity. Which i say to be silly but also that would be really sad actually. He'd be alone... he'd get hungry and there'd be no one there to feed him lounge chairs and tables and glass vases..... poor shrimp..........

I don't know if it would have been better or worse if you could just find his abandoned collar on the ground somewhere before that last lantern. Probably worse actually. Yeah no I'm glad that's not a thing. I'm sorry for saying that.

But anyway, what a damn good game. I'm sad it didn't get more attention when it came out, it feels like such a passion project. I feel bad for only finding out it exists recently. I'll try my best with telling all my friends to play it too though. Cause like oh man. Good god. It made me laugh, it made me scared, and now it's made me cry, drawing and typing this post. It's a thinker. I love existential wonder in media, but this one is more like, existential indifference or something. but it doesn't feel cynical at all, i don't know. I like it a lot. Putting it right up there with my favorites.

also actually nevermind fuck all that noise good ending where the morning never comes and they just wander the woods forever together yippee wahoo!! who needs themes and messages and meanings !!!! when The Characters could be happy !!!!!!!

jtjfjfjdhdjskfskdkdsfdhdhsfjcjdhfhshsfhd everything is fine i am Fine definitely not Crying More why would you think that

[plusultraetc]

I'm gonna NEED you to go on that rant about Shinsou's epilogue look. I'm gonna need that right this minute. (When you get a minute.)

THANK YOU BECAUSE TBH I ALSO NEEDED TO GO ON THIS RANT. It's been percolating for days at this point. I apologize if this is a little (okay a lot) chaotic and disorganized, but I worry that if I nitpick it too much I'll never post it. Hard side-eye @ my inbox, etc.

I should start by saying: I really love Shinsou's epilogue look. Like, enough that I'm already making plans for a second, post-canon shinsou hitoshi expansion pack (current name ideas include: shinsou hitoshi expansion pack ii, 2 shinsou hitoshi 2 expansion pack, and shinsou hitoshi dlc). I love the long hair (he does look darling!! I personally always imaged his older self with shorter hair, but after the first image of him as a pro came out back in August I was sold); his eyebags + eyebrows remain immediately recognizable; and tbh I didn't even realize that he might indeed be wearing some kind of eye mask in that group panel but if he is I love that so much. I know that opinion isn't universal, and that's totally okay!! This is just an emo little ramble about why I personally enjoy a lot of the character design choices made for Pro Hero Nighthide.

Side note: I still can't believe we know his hero name. It was one of the only (realistic) things on my second epilogue wishlist, but honestly I was 50/50 on whether or not we would ever have it confirmed. And yet!! Not only do we know his hero name, but much like @greenhappyseed said in her post, 'Nighthide' reminds me very much of 'Nightwing,' who happens to be my Favorite Superhero Of All Time. So like. That item got two checkmarks on the wishlist. I'm obsessed.

OKAY NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE LOOK ITSELF.

The thing is, it should be gimmicky, shouldn't it? Not only does Shinsou have the same support item as Aizawa, and use the same combat style, and have a similar costume, but the hair? At this point, it feels like the story is leaning hard on The Dadzawa Of It All for a near-comedic effect. And it can be comedic! And also adorable! But it can also reinforce not only a recurring theme throughout MHA, but also Shinsou's own character arc at the same time.

There's a post--or possibly tags of a post--buried somewhere on this blog about how Shinsou's original hero costume is a really interesting combination of elements from both Aizawa's and Midoriya's suits. I've seen & loved posts about how his costume is, like, the perfect 'child of erasermic' costume, but as much as I love a good Mentor Mic moment, he and Shinsou don't really interact in canon. Aizawa and Midoriya are the characters who canonically have had the greatest influence on Shinsou's journey to the Hero Course and beyond. The similarities between his original costume and theirs is in keeping with the MHA tradition of creating a visual link between characters who inspire and characters who are inspired by them--Shirakumo and Aizawa, All Might and Midoriya, and Crimson Riot and Kirishima are just a few examples. That being said, having Shinsou's final hero design lean even harder into the visual similarities with Aizawa just makes sense. It continues the inspiration/homage trend, but it also serves as a reminder of Shinsou's series arc.

A few days ago, I saw some posts on another platform that essentially said that Shinsou's original purpose as a character--to draw attention to and subvert expectations surrounding so-called 'villainous' quirks--had been watered down while he himself was reduced to a mini-Aizawa. And I totally get where op was coming from--there were a lot of potential directions MHA could have taken Shinsou's character, and all of them could have been really interesting, but they all would also have required Shinsou to not be a side character, especially in a show with, like. More side characters than episodes. If we wanted to really delve into quirk discrimination via brainwashing, for example, Shinsou would have needed way more focus that he was just never going to get. THAT BEING SAID, I don't think this means his original purpose was forgotten, or that his taking after Aizawa watered his character down in any way. In fact, I would argue that the exact opposite is true.

Because here's the thing about Shinsou's infamous-to-me, largely-off-screen character arc: it's over in season 5. Obviously, Shinsou continues to be an impactful, important part of the story after the Joint Training Arc, but if you want to get technical about it, Shinsou achieves his aforementioned purpose/goal in as much depth as it will ever be afforded in season 5 when he is accepted into the Hero Course and set to transfer at the start of his second year. Shinsou's motivation is to prove that he can be a hero with a 'villainous' quirk; the concrete way for him to get there is to transfer into the Hero Course, graduate from UA, and become a pro. And in that arc, he takes that first, most important step, from which it is safe to assume that he will continue down the path to success. If we had never seen him again after the training exercise with 1-B aside from the occasional panel to remind us that he's still out there somewhere, waiting to transfer, it would have been both a huge bummer and a waste of his character and quirk, but he still would have had a complete arc. His purpose was never forgotten. It was just fulfilled.

AND YET X2. Shinsou sticks around, big yay, etc. He shows up again with a cool new costume, and then he shows up again again with a new haircut and a cool name post-timeskip. And yes, it's all very Aizawa-inspired, but that's because following in Aizawa's footsteps is exactly how Shinsou achieved his goal!! He wasn't turned into a mini-Aizawa for no reason, or for The Dadzawa Of It All--he was turned into a mini-Aizawa deliberately because that's how he becomes a hero. Shinsou has to approach his goals differently than his peers (see: the Hero Course entrance exam, which they passed & he failed) because his quirk is both viewed differently from theirs and must be used differently, much like Aizawa's. So those visual links hit twice as hard, because not only is Shinsou inspired by Aizawa, but he is quite literally and necessarily following the path Aizawa forged. (The capture cloth is actually a very literal manifestation of this--it took Aizawa five years to master, but he tells Shinsou that it will take him less time because he has someone to teach him. It's the same for every aspect of his hero career--including the social aspect. @bfire92 made a really sweet post about this as well, and I have Many Thoughts and Like Four Drafts about it, but that's a different rant lol)

TL;DR Shinsou looks a lot like a mini-Aizawa, but imo it's a natural continuation of both his character arc and MHA's thematic and visual trends. Also, he just looks cute. That's my son & I'm very proud.

[littlelambscandyland]

hello! I was wondering if your asks were open. If so could I maybe make a request!! It’s for scream (1996)! Like maybe a short prompt or a longer one, or even headcanons! Whatever you prefer of Billy and Stu (or just one if easier) with agere reader? I wouldn’t say forced agere but maybe forced cg if that makes sense? The reader already regresses, but they force their way into caring for reader despite how unwanted it is!! And maybe with masc or GN reader? I’d prefer if it was a bit sillier, until reader finds out about them being ghostface (if you get to that), or it can just be after they know that they both are ghostface! Preferably no diapers and stuff, if possible!! If not that’s okay!!! (˶‾᷄ ⁻̫ ‾᷅˵) just do whatever you wanna do, if you decide to answer this ask. tysm!! sorry for my nervous rambling lol

Hi! I'm so, so sorry it took so long to get to this. My hyperfixations have been kicking my butt and I only just got back into my slashers fixation. I decided to do headcanons and a short story at the end. I hope I do you justice!

Just A Little Forced (Headcanons & Story)

So, let's say for this scenario that you were already a part of their friend group. We can go ahead and assume that this has given both killers plenty of time to study you and learn whatever they need to without stalking too much, even though we all know they still will.

So, let's say they distinctly told you not to come to the party or maybe you regressed and decided not to go, either way you don't go and make it out unscathed. Now let's say that the men got away with all of it, and the next time you see them you're visiting them in the hospital.

After everything calms down you continue to be friends with them. Both seem a bit more intense than before, but you just assume after a traumatic event like that anyone might become a bit more edgy.

Now let's say one of them slips up, most likely Stu, but, oops, turns out they knew about your regression for a really long time. For a second you panic, at least I know I would, and you wonder how they knew or did they think less of you because of it.

Billy is the one to explain it away. Manipulating his words perfectly to make certain situations seem like clear indicators even though they're not. Stu's the one to tell you that they don't think less of you, if anything they think it makes you better!

So, the three of you go on like this for a short time, before the two practically collapse at your feet asking to be your caregivers. Of course, you trust the both of them, they're your best friends, so you say yes.

Good Golly the can of worms you just opened!

If you thought they were intense before you're really in for it now. Billy was protective before, but now he's always hovering and glaring at people. Stu loved getting you and Billy gifts, but now you're no longer given a choice when he sees you looking at something too long.

They're so incredibly sweet in and out of regression. Sometimes, well most times, they will cause you to slip just by acting and talking those certain ways. As much as you try to apologize for slipping when it's "inconvenient" they rebel by coddling you with affection until you forget any guilt.

Stu is amazing at bedtime and playtime. He makes both of them fun and calming. He tucks you in and will read a bedtime story or screw up a lullaby. He really loves anything you want to do, play dress-up, play with dinosaurs, with nerf guns, play video games, or with building blocks, he's your guy. He is also your go-to when sad. He is really good at making you smile/laugh in those moments, not to mention all those silly nicknames he gives you.

Billy is great with mealtimes and calming you down. When it's time to wind down he knows just what to do. He's often the one helping with bath time and making sure Stu doesn't put you in something "too stupid". He is the best at making sure you eat good and get to bed on time. Despite Stu being your go-to when sad if you want some good comfort rather than a distraction Billy is a much better pick, holding you until you're no longer sad.

All in all you're well taken care of for a while. That is until Ghostface comes back. At first you worry about the two and if they may be a target of this copycat, but both men pacify your worries. With their lack of care for this killer you turn to ignore it as well.

Now let's say you were going through one of their rooms. Maybe you lost a stuffie, or a block, or maybe curiosity was just getting the better of you. What you found certainly wasn't what you were looking for. A black and white mask and a bloodstained knife.

After their failed attempt at lying away the items they revert to option two, locking you away. It's not like they can kill you, no, you're their baby, but they can't just let you go either.

It works well for the both of them anyways, they already didn't like you having to leave and do all those "adult" things and now they had a reason to make you stay. Not to mention they can just keep you at Stu's house since the Ghostface killed his parents.

After this they try their best to comfort you. They hate that you're trying to push them away. Not to mention you found everything out while regressed, oh they feel terrible.

Billy practically moves in with you both, but he still has to entertain his father, at least for now. Both men still try to coddle you and occasionally will force their affections on you when you push them away.

Things are much more strained after, but if you can move past the fact that they're serial killers and focus on how good they are at being your caregivers then you'll be as golden as before if not better, now that they don't have to hide that part of themselves anymore.

~~🔪~~~~~~~~~🔪~~~~Story Under Cut~~~~🔪~~~~~~~~~~🔪~~

You ran as fast as you could, stumbling through the halls, and laughing. You made a bet with your Daddy Stu that you could beat him to the bedroom. Of course, not that you knew, Stu let you win, so he and Billy could gather all the snacks for your little movie marathon. It also helped get out some extra energy so they could get you to sleep later.

The two men lingered in the kitchen for a bit longer while you ran to the room. Once in there you jumped on the bed and waited for your daddies to join you. Well, you were going to wait but you accidentally knocked one of your stuffies off the bed. 

You throw your arm down the crack between the wall and the bed that your stuffed friend fell. You search and search for your fluffy friend only to pull out a weird looking magazine, a mask, and finally your friend.

You look at the little hoard you’d gathered from the gap. You found yourself grossed out by the magazine and you already had your stuffed friend wrapped in your arms, so you turned your attention to the black and white mask.

You inspected it closely: the divots and scratches, the stains and the tears. Suddenly you felt increasingly unsafe. Why did this thing have so many red speckles on it? Was it blood? No, no, you Daddies would never do anything bad. It must be fake, for a costume, right? You pushed your hand back down the hole and dug around until your hand hit something hard. You grabbed a hold of it and pulled it out almost easily. Your tiny heart practically stopped when you saw the long blade. Something red clung to the very base of the blade due to poor cleaning. This wasn’t real you thought. 

You went into hysterics crying and hyperventilating as your mind slipped further and further down due to the panic. Whatever big kid part of your brain was still working shut down as you regressed more and more.

Both men were laughing as they entered the room, at least that was until they were made aware of the scene happening right there on Stu’s bed. Stu was quick to spring to action, scooping you up in his arms even as you tried to fight and flail away from him. Billy stood almost statue-like for a moment as he assessed what had made you so distressed, a firmer look grew on his face as he noticed the mask and knife laying out on the bed.

It was like time stopped, and, yet everything moved much too quickly. Billy tried to lie it all away while Stu tried to calm you. Neither worked.

Weeks had passed since the incident, you finding out about their secret hobby. Weeks since they locked you in Stu’s home and didn’t let you leave. Days since you’ve last allowed yourself to relax. Days since you’ve last regressed, not trusting them anymore.

The boys had barely changed. They still acted as loving and as doting as before. The only difference is now you know where their hands have been. You know what they’ve done; what they’re capable of. You’re terrified of them, disgusted, and angry.

You lay here now on the bed of a room they’d decorated just for you. You lay there waiting, knowing they’d be home soon, knowing they would try to make you regress again. You wait because you don’t know if you can fight the regression, not tonight. You need all the time you can get to prepare to remind yourself who those two actually are. Sure, they take care of you, but they’re still murderers.

When they do finally get home Stu calls for you at the door. “Pumpkin! We’re home!”

You can hear the smile in his voice. A part of you wonders what they were doing out there. Were they doing normal everyday things, the child in you wonders if they went to a park or arcade, or were they out doing more terrible things to people?

You listen as their steps get closer. You listen as they open the door. You turn away when they come towards the bed. Tears gather at having to turn away the only people you ever fully trusted.

“Baby, turn back around.” You hear Billy command softly.

“Yeah, c’mon you’re hurting our feelings over here.” Stu chimes in, and you can hear his pout.

You shake your head into the pillow. A shaky breath comes out of you. It’s hard not to regress simply by the way they talk to you.

“Okay then.” Da- Billy says.

You feel the bed dip before you’re pulled roughly into one of their arms. As your heart beats rapidly you’re turned to face him. The second your eyes meet Billy’s you’re pushing him away and crying to be let go.

“Oh, hey, hey! It’s okay. You’re okay!” Stu tries to pacify while he comes over to sit next to Billy.

“No, no! Let me go! Let-” You’re cut off by Billy.

“That’s enough!” He practically hisses.

Your heart drops. He never talks to you like that. Even these past few weeks he hasn’t gotten angry at you. Not until now. You could feel your breathing quicken.

“Look what you did.” Dadd- Stu scolds Billy. “You scared them.” He says rubbing his larger hands down your arms in attempted comfort.

“Don’t coddle them, Stu. They’ve been acting like a brat for over a month now.” Billy argues angrily.

“Jus go away…” You whisper, trying weakly to push either away from you.

It almost hurts, shoving the thoughts and feeling away; the want to be held by them, the need to slip further and further into that child's mindset.

“Oh, come on, angel… You know your daddies just wanna take care of you.” You curl in on yourself as Stu tries again to soothe you.

“We’d never hurt you. We’ve taken care of you so well, haven’t we?” Billy claims while stroking your cheek with his thumb.

Stu leans over and you’re practically pinned between your two caregivers. A part of it was comforting. Like cuddling on the couch, but that wasn’t the situation. Stu sits his head on your shoulder and his eyes meet Billy’s and it’s like they’re talking without saying a thing.

“You know~” Stu starts with a growing smile. “Your daddies bought something for you while we were out.”

Despite yourself, you get excited. The little in you pushing out slowly got incredibly excited at the thought of a gift. Your daddies always got you the best gifts.

Wait, wait, they still aren’t safe… Right?

Stu jumps off the bed and grabs the bag they discarded by the bedroom door. Billy maneuvered you so your back faced him rather than Stu. The taller man finally sits back on the bed holding the bag.

He leans down slightly and whispers with a grin. “Do you want to open it?” 

As much as you wanted to continue to fight, your excitement won, and you nod your head.

“Hear ya go!” He says pushing the bag towards you.

Opening the bag you’re met with something dark green and soft. You grab it lightly and pull it out of the bag. Your excitement grows when you see the face of a T-Rex. You try to hold back the smile and giggle building in your throat.

“Do you wanna see something cool?” Your Daddy Billy asks from behind you.

You nod quickly in response. Without hesitation he presses the dinosaur's foot and the toy comes to life. A loud roar shoots out of it. You can’t hold back any longer and you let a laugh rip through you. 

Both men silently celebrated at your reaction. You press the dino’s foot again and again with a smile. Soon your Daddy Stu takes the toy from your hands and the three of you shift slightly so it’s easier for you to play.

You pause every once in a while, fear creeping in until one of your caregivers pulls you back. Yes, you were trapped and yes you were scared, but you guess it could be worse.

[abrisaber]

How I would Rewrite Stolitz

Listen I know I said I would stop talking about HB and that was mostly true. I'm gonna stop angirly ranting about it. This post isn't going to really dive into what I find problematic in the show, at least I'll try not to do that, this is moreso just a rambling about how I would change Stolitz in a way that makes more sense to me.

This isn't gonna be any kind if script or anything. I'm no professional writer, I do it as a hobby, but I do know what good and bad characters are, and I know (vaugely) ways to fix bad characters.

This post will probably be long and have a ton of errors (typos and things) so bare with me. I'm not drafting this up and editing it. This is just from my mind to Tumblr.

My Problems

If you don't feel like reading my combined wordcount of twelve billion on why I dislike Stolitz, I'll lay out my problems for you here.

Stolitz has progressively gotten worse because it's increasing more and more one sided. In the beginning, we got both Stolas and Blitzo's perspectives on their relationship. Stolas sees Blitzo as some sort of savior, a guy who he can forget all his marital problems with, whereas Blitzo sees Stolas as more of an outlet. Someone he can live out a fantasy with but will ultimately never let in because of his self worth issues. They both have troubling, misguided views of each other, and that comes to a head in Ozzie's when Stolas tries to reach out, and Blitzo shuts him down.

This feels forgotten in the newest episodes, and the main issue is that for some strange reason, the focus has entirely pivoted from Blitzo to Stolas. Stolas is pushed into a sympathetic light consistently when he doesn't deserve it. He's just as much of a piece of shit as Blitzo and if anything should be the one to go on an "apology tour" rather than Blitzo. Because Stolas has only ever acted in his own self interest. Since day one, he doesn't care about other people's feelings, and he never will. He sleeps with Blitzo when he wants and then whines to his daughter when she gets upset. But then he keeps doing it and then goes wah wah wah when she gets fed up with it. He treats Blitzo like trash and then acts clueless and heartbroken when Blitzo calls him out on it. He sacrifices his life to save Blitzo, but not because "Blitzo doesn't deserve it," but because "I don't want to see Blitzo killed."

Blitzo is made to be the bad guy almost all the time, even when he doesn't really deserve to be, but Stolas is just the uwu crybaby that we're supposed to feel bad for and Blitzo is supposed to comfort. And I seriously don't like that.

My Rewrite

The number one main thing about the show I would change is I would have Stolas offer the Asmodean Crystal as an alternative MUCH earlier. My idea is that Stolas is a lot more openly caniving and manipulate but is oblivious to it because he's an idiot, and Blitzo sort of let's it happen but gets progressives more and more uncomfortable with Stolas's actions until they blow up.

During the harvest moon festival, the conversation continues mostly the same, with Blitzo complaining about Stolas needing the book. Then Stolas absentmindedly mentions the existence of Asmoddan Crystals, saying he could maybe "put in a good word with Asmodeus to get you one." Blitzo dismisses it entirely, nonchalantly shrugging it off, and you can see him pull up the photo he took with Stolas after one of their nights together off to the side, and it's basically shown to the audience that he's attached but won't admit it.

So Stolas shrugs it off and calls Blitzo a "little imp," which brothers Blitzo, but he let's it slide because "it's just roleplay." And because he's emotionally attached to Stolas.

What I want to accomplish is making it more obvious that Blitzo wants to stay with Stolas but won't admit it. He was still basically coerced into the whole sex deal, but he had an opportunity to leave if he wanted.

All the while, Stolas himself is starting to feel bad. He mostly feels bad for himself because Blitzo is becoming more distant and he wants him back, but he slowly becomes more and more worried until he finally asks Blitzo what's wrong and why he's acting strange.

Blitzo, who's reached an emotional low after Barbie Wire deflects and insults him, gets defensive and insults Stolas, calling him pretentious or whatever.

Stolas then gets angry and the two go back and forth with each other.

On Stolas's side, he's angry because he believes that he's treated Blitzo with respect, when in actuality he's been treating Blitzo like shit. He's completely obvious to how he hurts people and is always indirectly only thinking of himself. Blitzo can see that, which is why he eventually calls Stolas a self absorbed asshole who doesn't care about Blitzo, just like everyone else doesn't care about Blitzo.

On Blitzo's side, he's become emotionally attached to Stolas and doesn't want to admit that because that would make him vulnerable, and he doesn't want to be hurt. He still deeply craves emotional connection, and does slowly break down some walls, but Stolas's self centered actions and demeaning language make Blitzo incredibly uncomfortable. Of course he never communicates that fact until their argument where he vents about it.

Stolas, still angry, but now feeling slightly guilty, reveals he got Blitzo the crystal and turns to leave. Blitzo shouts back at him saying it doesn't fix anything and Stolas is still a stuck up bitch, but accepts the crystal anyways, and the two officially split ways.

I don't have any more ideas after that, so essentially this is a Stolitz rewrite up until The Full Moon. I hope it was at least a tiny bit coherent and what I wanted to accomplish was communicated well. In my opinion Stolas is still mostly in the wrong in this situation, but I wanted to at least try and make Blitzo slightly less sympathetic. I hope the stolitz fans don't kill me.