#this is your life. your story. you get to decide who you are. how you grow. what you prioritize.

[kira-sucks-lawlipops]

I used to work the front reception desk at a hospital that charged exorbitantly for patient and visitor parking. This was an undercover parking lot with a boomgate at the exit, not street parking as in the video above. It cost $13 an hour, for everyone at all times of the day with no exceptions.

Want to wait for a loved one who will be in surgery all day? That'll be a hundred bucks. Come here twice a week for dialysis? Another hundred, but every week for the rest of your life. The real kicker was that it never reset or expired. We had people who came into the emergency room, ended up getting admitted into a ward, and didn't think to do anything about their car sitting in the parking lot for days on end, racking up hour after hour of fees. Then when they finally got discharged, they'd call us from the garage in tears because the ticket machine was telling them they needed to pay thousands of dollars just to go home.

There was one loophole to this. If a ticket malfunctioned at the boomgate, we could press an override button to open it manually. This was for "emergencies only", so we couldn't do anything from the ticket machine, and we couldn't trigger it without receiving a call from the boomgate.

For five years, anytime anyone asked me any sort of question about parking, I would tell them to ignore the ticket machine entirely, go directly to the boomgate and press the 'assisance' button. And then I would let them out of the parking lot.

I probably cost the hospital more than my salary in parking fees.

Why did I do this? Was it out of selfless love for my fellow human beings? A deeply-seated belief that charging people for being sick is evil? A desire to fight the man in whatever small way I could?

Not really.

Don't get me wrong, those things did apply. I think parking fees at hospitals are evil and should be abolished. But my strongest motivator for always letting people out of the parking lot was because that was the easiest way to solve the problem.

Basically the entire time I worked at that hospital I was always 1) too busy 2) too exhausted and 3) not paid enough to care about dealing with the parking lot. The tickets were buggy, the machine was always malfunctioning and the system was exploitative. Why would I ever make that my priority when I had access to a magic button that instantly made the problem go away?

Now pay attention class. Why have I told you this story?

Because it applies to 90% of people whose job it is to monitor parking lots.

I cannot count how many times I've been in some shopping mall or convention centre or whatever, stuck a ticket into a machine and decided that actually I don't want to pay that much for parking here today. So I just drove to the boomgate and pressed the button to call for help and then was allowed to leave for free. All you have to do is say that you already paid at the machine but now the gate isn't reading your ticket correctly. The person who has to resolve that problem for you will almost always choose to hand you a 'get out of parking jail free' card rather than actually try to deal with it.

The only time I've ever gotten challenged was one guy who told me to reverse and come into the parking office (lol no), but I couldn't recerse because there were other cars behind me so he had to let me go. If you are not one for lying just crumple the ticket up a bit or scratch out part of the barcode. Don't say you lost it (some places charge at the boomgate for lost tickets), say the machine can't read it and then say hello to free parking for life.

May 31 2016 - Collin Kennedy, who is a cancer patient, used expanding spray foam to disable a parking meter at the Health Sciences Centre in Winnipeg where he gets his treatment. He says the fees are a tax on the sick. [video]

[plutoslastwords]

I see lando as a single dad too and I was wondering if you’d ever write daughter!reader when she’s a teenager and is going through, well her first menstrual cycle and he’s so completely lost lol

shark week

lando norris x daughter!reader

summary: lando has no idea how a woman's body works, baby norris doesn't listen in health class. the outcome? chaos.

warnings: your first period?

w/c: 1.5k

a/n: okay so i know that it may be unrealistic that a 12 year old would have never heard of a period but idc. it works in the story. sorry for being so mia!! school is terrible atm 😩😩 love you all!! promise i am working on the requests xx

~~~

Going to high school in Monaco was not fun at the best of times.

Everyone says that surely it must be great! It’s Monaco! But when you don’t speak the language fluently - though you have got quite good after living there for 12 years of your life - and have just transferred to a new secondary school where you know no one, life isn’t great. 

Everyone in Monaco has one or two parents who are rich and famous in some way, meaning you can’t even pull the famous dad card to get yourself some friends. You’re stuck sitting alone at lunch, and being picked last for every team.

Lando hates it. He hates it so so much. He doesn't think he can stand seeing his baby coming home sad every afternoon, and he hates how sometimes he can’t be there to comfort you when life is feeling especially tough. He’s debated many a time just sending you to a boarding school back in England, where at least you could speak the same language as the kids there, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to cope with being apart from you for that much of the year.

Therefore, both you and your dad just have to cope with the unfortunate situations, hoping and wishing that soon enough you’ll find your own feet and make some friends. 

Back to the fact that school in Monaco isn’t great on the best days, school in Monaco is absolute hell on the worst days.

On this particular day, you were sitting in Maths class, your least favourite, how were you meant to be able to understand maths in French when you didn’t even understand it in English. It was whilst the teacher was going on about something to do with algebra that you decided that you’d had enough, you put your hand up and quickly asked to go to the bathroom, you weren’t bothered about this anymore.

You took your normal long route around school to get to the bathrooms, having no intention of going back to your maths class anytime soon. You finally get to the bathrooms and it is there that you learn that you’re going to die.

You know that it is not normal to have blood in your pants. It can’t be normal. You must be dying. You sit there in shock for a moment, before starting to hyperventilate and presume the worst. 

When looking back, Lando knows that it is probably his fault that you got yourself into this situation. You never really listened in your Health classes, as they were all in French, and so it was probably his responsibility to educate you on what was going to happen at a certain point, but he’s still just a young guy, that was not top of his list of what he wanted to talk to his preteen daughter about!

You sit in the bathroom stall sobbing and shaking, surely this is the end, you were practically waiting for the Grim Reaper himself to come and pluck you away. In your disorientated mind the only thing that you can think to do is call Lando.

“Daddy I’m dying!” You bawl into the phone, the words barely coming out through your intense sobs.

Immediately Lando drops everything he was doing, freezing at your distressed tone, his mind going straight to the worst. “Baby?!? What’s going on, are you okay?!?” He practically shouts down the phone.

“No!!” You sob, “I’m dying!!!! Daddy please pick me up I-” You don’t finish your sentence because enough intense sob comes in the way and you fall back into hysterically crying.

Lando doesn’t even think twice before leaping up from his desk and rushing to grab his car keys. “I’m on my way, my angel, you’re gonna be okay, daddy’s gonna look after you.” He tries to soothe, but the worry in his voice is evident. 

When he arrives you’re still a sobbing mess, but you have to drag your tear stained body out of the cubicle and to the front office in order to be dismissed. When you see Lando you immediately jump into his arms, sobs wracking your body.

“Oh darling…”  He says, brokenly, he hates seeing you like this, “What’s happened, my love?” 

You don’t respond, too distressed, he seems to get the message and manoeuvres you to the car, where he drives home as quick as he can, to get you someplace familiar, hoping that that will soothe you slightly.

It works, partially. By the time that you’re home your sobbing has lessened, but you’re still nowhere near stable, still almost shaking with the fear that you’re feeling. Lando sits you down on the sofa with a glass of water, putting an arm around your shoulders.

“Baby, tell me what’s going on.”

“I-I’m dying!! I’m bleeding and I’m dying!” You sniffle.

Suddenly everything clicks for Lando and then his mind goes completely blank. Shit, shit shit shit shit shit. He was not ready for this day, not ready whatsoever. 

“I-uhm-oh.” He stutters, not knowing what to say. “Y-you’re not dying, sweetheart, okay?”

“Yes I am!!! I’m dying!!!”

He has no idea what to do. He was hoping he had a year or two left before today came, but apparently luck was not on his side. He sits there, staring blankly at you, as you continue to cry. 

“Baby, I promise you you’re not dying, why don’t you go change your clothes and I’ll come up to your room in a sec and we’ll chat, okay?”

You shuffle to your room, still sobbing but if you’re dad seems so confident that you’re okay, then surely that means something…?

Lando paces around in a panic downstairs, waiting for his sister to answer the damn phone. There is no way that he can be doing this with no help.

After a horrible phone call, with a lot of him being laughed at by his sister for having a 12 year old daughter and still knowing fuck all about the menstrual cycle, he feels more prepared to actually talk to you.

You’re sitting in your bed, covered in blankets and watching a movie when he knocks at your door.

“Darling, can I come in?” 

You hum in response, tired from all of the sobbing and therefore not bothered to actually speak. He enters, with a shopping bag in his hand.

“How're you feeling, my angel?”

You shrug, curling up smaller in your blanket ball.

“Oh, baby, you’re okay, I promise, it’s all natural, okay?”

“Doesn’t feel natural…”

“It’s your period, angel. It’s your body getting ready for pregnancy”

You pull a face of absolute horror at that, “I’m pregnant?!??!”

His eyes widen and he backtracks immediately “No, no, no, no, you’re not pregnant, absolutely not.” He shudders at the thought, “It’s just so that maybe, at some point in the future, if you do get pregnant, your body is gonna be prepared…”

“So I’m gonna bleed until I get pregnant?”

“No, no, just for a couple days every month…”

“For how long?”

“Uhm, I’m not sure about that… like until your 40? I don’t know…”

“40?!??!?! I don’t want to bleed every month until I’m 40!!!!”

“I know, baby, but it’s just something that all women have to go through, it’s just a natural part of life, you’ll learn to cope with it…”

You pause, taking in his words, before eventually nodding in understanding, but that doesn’t mean that you’re done talking, much to Lando’s dismay, who’d quite like to get this conversation over and done with.

“So why do I need to bleed to be ready for pregnancy?” You question.

Lando knows this one, he practised it on the phone with his sister, “It’s the wall of your uterus shedding-”

“Ew.”

“Because your body got itself ready to be pregnant, and then obviously the egg was never fertilised.”

“So if I did get pregnant then I wouldn’t get my period?”

“Yes, I think.”

“Hm.”

“It’s all very normal, sweetheart, this just means that you’re healthy, okay?”

“Mhm…”

“Good..” He smiles, “You all good?”

“Daddy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“What am I gonna do now..? With, you know, uhm- I don’t wanna ruin all my underwear…”

“Oh! Yes, that..” He reaches into his bag, “So, uh- these will stick on top of your underwear, and like uh- catch the blood, I guess.. And then you throw them away after wearing them for like 5 hours or so… That sound okay?”

You nod, slightly sceptical, but oh well.

Eventually, Lando leaves to go and do his own thing, and you stew in the knowledge of your new life. After getting yourself showered and cleaned up, as well as trying your new items, you shuffle downstairs, just needing a hug.

“Hey, baby…” Your dad smiles, as he sits on the tv, watching some nonsense reality show.

You don’t reply, just nestling yourself next to him, needing his comforting touch. He smiles, wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer.

“My baby… getting so big… daddy loves you, more than anything…”

~~~

a/n: fank you for reading!!11 send in any requests xx

[dailynnt]

FRIENDS WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE

⊹ Summary: Jungkook and you, his childhood friend, live together in an apartment, sharing space as roommates. Your relationship, built on years of friendship, is gradually becoming strained by growing sexual tension. You decide to become friends with benefits, trying not to complicate your feelings. But Jungkook's world is not so simple. When you begin to realize that he is hiding something, you open the veil of his double life - a world of mafia, criminal activity, and risk that could ruin not only your deal, but everything you valued in each other.

⊹ Couple: Jeon Jungkook/ Fem!Reader

⊹ Characters: The Reader, Jeon Jungkook, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, Min Yoongi, Kim Seokjin, Kim Namjoon, Jeon Hoseok.

⊹ 🔞 Age restrictions: 18+

⊹ 👩🏼‍❤️‍👨🏻 Relationships: ⚤

⊹ 📘 Number of part: 29/30

⊹ 🖇️ Tags: best friends, friends with benefits, slow longing, sexual tension, protected sex, unprotected sex, alcohol, drunken sex, inexperienced main character, mafia au, illegal trade, deaths of minor characters, weapons, swear words, scenes of violence, coercion, psychological pressure.

⊹ 👩🏼‍💻 From the author: Hello my beloved armies 💜 I hope you are doing well 😊 I came to you with chapter 29... Um, I would like to officially admit to you that this chapter was the hardest for me to write out of all 29 that I wrote. Maybe 30 will also be difficult to write, but I'm ready for it 🫡 I don't know why, but it's hard for me to evaluate how this part turned out, whether it's worth all the time I spent and yours too, but this is how I see it 💔 Please let me know in the comments your opinion, maybe you don't like something? 🥺 As always, I appreciate and love everyone who reads and loves this story 🫂 You guys are priceless to me 😭💞

⊹ 🫂 Dedication: For you, my love @myjungkookthighs. You are my favorite person 😘🥰 You know that I appreciate you so much and LOVE you🥰💜

⊹ ⚠️ Warning: English is not my native language, so there may be mistakes in the text. Please don't get mad at me too much! Those under 18, please don't read this story!

⊹ 📋Tag list: @myjungkookthighs, @notsevenwithyou, @nikkinikj, @lovelyyylunaa222, @jiminiemanura, @jalexad, @kelsyx33, @bhonbhon, @unholyforjk, @ambiee3, @mianhae-baozi , @someoneelse0109, @medstudentlifestyle, @mskookie, @kooccult, @smokinghotstargirl , @curse-of-art, @curse-of-art2 @wintaemoonjen, @jungkookswifeeeeeee, @someonegoood, @kooko007, @indigomoonchild09, @zeytiable (If anyone wants to be in my tag list let me know)

≣ Chapter Index ↓

Part 29. Saved. 

Jungkook was not himself. He stood on the terrace of the top floor and nervously lit a cigarette. He inhaled the smoke and felt a little relieved. He had to go to Namjoon and his time was running out, but he needed to smoke at least one cigarette to put his broken feelings in order. He literally took puff after puff thinking about what happened and what he should do next.

Jungkook squeezed the cigarette with his fingers, finishing it all the way to the filter. His head was heavy with thoughts, and his heart was beating faster than usual. He replayed in his mind how he saw you in Namjoon's office. It threw him off balance. Angry, he later yelled at you in Jimin's office and sent you home because you had already done so much that you weren't supposed to. You did your part, even though he asked you to stay out of it, and that was the most annoying thing.

You always did everything for him. Even now, when you were pregnant, exhausted, ready to risk your life to get him out of this hell. You played spy games to get him out of the mafia world. You were threatened, but you did it anyway to find out important information and came to Namjoon to exchange it for his freedom.

He never wanted you to get involved in this shit. You were supposed to live a quiet life, not knowing what it means to trade information for survival.

Jungkook rubbed his palm over his face, exhaling the remaining smoke. He knew you wanted a different life for you. A life without blood, without blackmail, without threats. But how? How can he get out?

Once, at the beginning of all this, he wanted to escape. He fought. He tried not to get his hands dirty with what Namjoon made him do. But then he got used to it. And maybe he even started to like it. The power, the influence, the fear he saw in the eyes of others when he walked into a room... All these things made him who he was. And he was no longer sure if he wanted to leave it. So he was in no hurry to take any radical steps. And damn it, you noticed that, and that's why you're in Namjoon's office today. To beg for him.

Fuck...

Before all this, there was this bullshit about selling weapons to the Black Pearl. It's definitely Doohoon's handiwork. Jungkook knows that he did some business with Black Pearl's Sehun, so he definitely helped Doohoon pull it off.

Thanks to their actions, he was suspected of betrayed. Of offshore fraud, of a meeting that was actually trap. He flicked his lighter irritably, though he had no cigarette. He needed to get out of this somehow, to prove that he hadn't betrayed Namjoon.

Jungkook sighed heavily and turned to leave. But as soon as he stepped into the hallway, he saw Jimin. He looked worried.

"Jungkook-ah, I've been looking for you..." - He stopped a few steps away and looked closely at his friend's face. "Are you okay? Did Y/N leave already?" - Jungkook was silent. He didn't want to talk about your fight right now. But he had to say something, so he gathered all his will into a fist and said.

"I screwed up..." - Jungkook says tiredly, hinting at what you had fought about, and that he was set up and looks like a traitor to Namjoon. "And yes, she's already gone." - Jimin frowns. He realizes that something is going on. "Why were you looking for me?" - Jungkook asks because Jimin is lost in thought.

"Namjoon is calling us all together. He asked for everyone to be in the company this morning. And now we've been told that we're all supposed to come to his office. That's why I went looking for you, that we could go together." - Jimin replies. Jungkook nods his head and walks past Jimin, who immediately follows.

"I was just heading that way." - Jungkook says as Jimin aligns himself with him.

"What's wrong, Jungkook? Why is Y/N at the company today? And why were you two fighting?" - Jimin asks. Jungkook expected him to ask about it.

"Y/N came to get free me of Namjoon's hands." - Jungkook says shortly. He walks down the corridor confidently, taking a wide stride to make sure he makes it within the 20 minutes Namjoon has given him. Jimin walks beside him at the same pace to keep up. But when he hears Jungkook's words, he stops. Jungkook notices that Jimin has disappeared and turns around, finding him a few steps behind him.

"Free you? What does that mean?" - Jimin asks. Jungkook exhale heavily.

"That's what it means. She dug up information that the Black Pearl wants to take over Uranium from us. She came to Namjoon to tell him in exchange for my place in the clan." - Jungkook explains. Jimin widens his eyes, wants to ask something, but Jungkook doesn't let him. He turns around and walks away, throwing over his shoulder. "Come on, Jimin, I can't be late."

Jungkook and Jimin entered Namjoon's office in silence. The atmosphere in the room was tense. Everyone was already in place - Taehyung was sitting with his leg over leg, Yoongi was looking at some documents, and Hoseok was typing something quickly on his phone. Namjoon stood by the table, his arms crossed over his chest, and his gaze was as sharp as a knife blade.

Jungkook walked over to Hoseok and Taehyung and shook their hands, because he hadn't seen them yet. They sat down on the couch with Jimin and waited for someone to break the silence first.

"Is Jin not coming yet?" - Jimin asked to fill the silence, which for some reason seemed heavy, although Namjoon didn't say why he had called them. Everyone present, except Yoongi, who already knew the reason, realized that something serious had happened.

"He'll be later, we can start without him." - Namjoon said tensely and pushed away from the table and moved toward the chair. He sat down, put his hands on the armrests, gently squeezing the material of the chair and looked around at everyone in turn. Everyone present looked at their boss, waiting for an explanation. Only Jungkook was staring intently at the floor, clenching his intertwined fingers. "This morning, as soon as I stepped into my office, I received information that there was a rat in the clan." - Namjoon went on to say. The silence became even heavier. Everyone in the office seemed to be frozen, trying to understand what Namjoon meant.

Jungkook slowly looked up, but did not meet his boss's eyes. He could feel the tension coursing through his entire body, squeezing his lungs and making his heart beat faster. How do you prove you're not a traitor with all this evidence? His head hurt worse.

"A rat?" - Hoseok asked, leaning on the back of the couch. He tilted his head, watching Namjoon, trying to read his expression. "What do you mean?"

Namjoon gave a short hum as if he had heard a completely predictable question. His gaze rested on Yoongi for a moment, as if they had talked about this before, and then he turned back to everyone else.

"I mean, one of us has been transferring money through offshore firms, working behind my back with a man I kicked out of the clan a long time ago."

Jungkook didn't even need to ask who he was addressing. He knew. It was about him.

"Do you have any proof?" - Asked Jimin tensely. Namjoon nodded slowly, pointing to the folder in Yoongi's hands. He threw it on the table and leaned back on the couch.

"Of course there are, Jimin, otherwise I wouldn't have gathered you all here." - Namjoon said a little irritated. Jimin picked up the folder and began to look through its contents. Jungkook didn't even look at the files again, he knew what was in them. Taehyung frowned, rested his elbow on his knee, and intertwined his fingers.

"So who do you suspect?" - He asked without waiting for his turn to look at the evidence files. Jungkook looked up at Namjoon, and the latter he said his name directly into his eyes.

"Jungkook." - His name came out of Namjoon's mouth like a sentence. The room fell dead silent. All eyes were on him. Although he realized the gravity of the situation, he felt that he could handle proving his truth.

Everyone was looking at him-some with suspicion, some with doubt, some with indescribable shock. Jimin closed the folder and looked at his friend. His lips were pressed into a thin line, and his eyes were tense. Hosok took the folder and looked at the contents with Taehyung.

"I want an explanation, Jungkook." - Namjoon demanded. Jungkook sniffled and began to speak.

"I did meet this man, but I swear I don't know that he ever belonged to our clan. He called me when I was in the Suwon, I was waiting for a call about uranium. He said it was about a shipment, so I thought he was talking about uranium. And then he said he had samples and if I had time to meet him to examine them. I found this suspicious because I hadn't received any information about the samples. He started rubbing it in that if I didn't come, his boss would contact you and you would be unhappy. I went and when I arrived, it turned out to be weapons. Japanese weapons of good quality. I asked him where he got my phone, and he mumbled something at first, and then gave me a name. I think it was Takeshi Tanaka..." - Jungkook tells how everything happened that day, not noticing how tense Hoseok was. Jungkook had asked him to find out about this Japanese man, but he forgot to tell him that his people had gotten the information. Because of the whole uranium situation, it just slipped his mind. "I said I didn't know this Japanese guy, I said we didn't need the weapons and left. That was it, I never interacted with this man again. Namjun, I did not betray you. I have no reason to do so." - Jungkook finally finishes his explanation. Yoongi tilts his head and then rests his elbows on his knees, looking at Jungkook closely.

"What do you mean there's no Jungkook-ah? Everyone knows your position in the clan. You're not here of your own free will, and you could easily want to go behind Namjoon's back. Here are the facts: we get evidence of a meeting, a money transfer from our company, and it looks like you want to cooperate with the Black Pearl. And then your girlfriend comes in and tells us that the Black Pearl knows about Uranium, about which knew only seven people, and they want to intercept it. What are we supposed to believe?" - Yoongi asks. Jungkook took a deep breath, trying to control the rage boiling inside him. His fingers clenched into fists so hard that his nails dug into his skin. He turned his gaze to Yungi, who seemed to have already passed his sentence.

"Yes, I'm not here by choice, but isn't it stupid to betray your boss, who already has you in a vice grip? Why should I make my situation even worse? It's not logical." - Jungkook defended himself.

"You said that the man seemed suspicious and insisted that you examine the samples." - Jimin interjected. "Why didn't you call me, why didn't you ask me if this was the case or not?" - Jimin's voice sounded protesting. Jungkook deliberately kept silent, saying that he couldn't reach Jimin and Hoseok at the time because they were resting and simply didn't hear his calls, so he went alone to check what the samples were. Jungkook was silent, weighing whether to tell the truth.

"I called you, but you didn't pick up." - Jungkook said calmly. "I couldn't wait because that man was pressuring me, I couldn't not go because if it was really Uranium we would have gotten our asses handed to us by Namjoon." - Jimin's eyes run over his friend's face and realizes that he hadn't mentioned this moment during the story, but now he said it because he was pressured. Jimin cast a quick glance at Hoseok, and he looked as guilty as he did.

"Why didn't you tell us that you went to Suwon, by the way? Why were you there at that time? The photo said twenty minutes past nine in the evening?" - Taehyung asked, holding the photos in his hands. Jungkook shakes his head and barely holds back an exasperated exhale. He has to admit that he went to his parents' house with you to tell them that you two met, because it's his alibi. But he doesn't want you or his parents to be questioned.

"I went to my parents from Y/N. I had some time and so we decided to visit them. However, I did not know that I had to report to you about my every move. There was no need for that before." - Jungkook says, trying to sound casual but not irritated. Taehyung looked away, his lips pressed into a thin line. Namjoon sighed heavily, running his hand over his face.

"The evidence is well faked if it's not real. I asked Jin to find out everything about this evidence, so we only have to wait for him." - Namjoon said. Everyone was quiet. But not for long, because Jin walked into the clan leader's office. He looked as impeccable as ever, with a lingering smile on his face.

"You're all so miserable. Did someone die?" - He asked as he came inside.

"No one yet, but who knows if anyone will die today, it all depends on what you got." - Yoongi replies in an indifferent voice. Jin let out a short laugh as he sat down at Namdujun's table.

This was not a surprise to anyone. All seven men were very good friends and almost like family. Jin was the oldest, so he could afford to behave like this even with the leader of the Ran Noir clan. On paper, Namjoon is the boss, Yoongi is his right-hand man, and everyone else is subordinate, but in reality they were seven best friends who were very close, almost brothers. Even though Jungkook was with them for four years, he managed to become one of them. He has respect for his older Hyungs, especially Namjoon, even though he resisted him in every way possible at first.

Jin opens his laptop. Everyone looks at him intensely.

"Oh my God, Yoongi, what are you talking about? Inside you’re awakened your bloodlust?" - Jin turns his head to the window, peering out into the dusk. "Is there a full moon tonight or something?" - Yoongi rolled his eyes, and Taehyung and Hoseok laughed softly.

"Jin, that's enough, get to the point." - Namjoon ended his jokes. Jin bit his lip, still smiling, and then folded his hands over his laptop keyboard.

"So the evidence we got on Jungkook is overwhelming." - Jin said. He connected the laptop to the display that hung in Namjoon's office and brought up the images taken in Suwon. “But let's take it from the beginning. Jungkook drove there in his father's car. I checked the license plate, and it's his father's car." - Jin flipped through the photos, and everyone looked at them carefully. "Here's a picture of him getting out of the car, and in the next one they're shaking hands. Then Jungkook and this guy go into the warehouse. And in the last photo, where Jungkook appears, he gets into the car and drives away. The time on the photo is 8:34 pm. That is, their meeting lasted about 15 minutes. And there are no more photos. But I am the best hacker Korea has ever had. So I got the video. The video near the warehouse and also in the middle. By the way, I did a little digging and found out that this warehouse belongs to Doohoon’s father." - Jungkook raised his eyebrows at this, his gaze turned angry. This was the proof that Doohoon was involved. He stared at the monitor as Jin opened the video file, and didn't notice Hoseok fidgeting nervously on the couch.

"Well, here's the video. But there's a caveat, it's without sound, so it doesn't tell us much." - Jin said, pressing the play button. The video starts and Jin comments. "We see Jungkook pull up. He got out and stopped. You can see he doesn't shake hands with Hyuwon right away. Then he's obviously inviting our tongsung to come in and evaluate the goods." - Jin turns off the video and turns on the second file. "Here's a video from the warehouse itself. Jungkook is looking at the weapons in the crates..." - He zooms in on Jungkook's face. "Hey Jungkook-ah, you look confused, not like someone who knows there are weapons in the crates." - Jin turns to Jungkook and winks at him.

Jungkook looks at the older hyung in surprise, as if he knows how to prove his innocence. Jungkook purses his lips and nods in appreciation. He glances around at everyone, and they're all looking at the video carefully. Jin plays the video back as it was and stops it when Jungkook leaves the warehouse. Jin goes to the folder where the video files were and Jungkook notices another file. Another video.

"So what? We don't know what they were talking about." - Namjoon says when Jin turns off the video. He smiled and turned in his chair.

"Did I mention I'm the best hacker in Korea?" - He asks everyone. Yoongi rolls his eyes so that he looks like he's seen his own brain, and Jimin huffs.

"Yes, you did." - He answered for everyone.

"I'm the best because I'm good at getting things that seem inaccessible, and I'm good at hiding things that need to be hidden. I had to find out what they were talking about. The camera does not record sound, but there is a program developed by our native Korean IT specialists that allows you to read words from lips. Guess who has access to it?" - Jin triumphantly opens the third file and text appears next to the video. It's a video of Jungkook and Hyuwon standing in a warehouse. "I'm about to save your ass, Jungkook-ah!" - Jin says jokingly. "You can read the text they're saying on their lips." - Everyone reads the running text carefully.

"Who gave you my contact number again?" - Jungkook's line appears on the screen.

"Takeshi Tanaka, you worked with him. He mentioned you and said you'd be interested." - Everyone reads Hyuwon's response. Hoseok interrupts the silence that was caused by everyone reading.

"Is this the Japanese guy you asked me to find out about?" - He asks Jungkook suddenly. He nods slowly. Everyone else in the room looks at them.

"Yes, about him." - Jungkook says softly. Namjoon turns his gaze to Hoseok.

"Did he ask you to get the information about this Japanese guy?" - He asks tensely.

"Yeah." - Hoseok says, a little guiltily. "I had completely forgotten Jungkook-ah. He called me that evening, probably after he met with this man, and asked me to find information about Takeshi Tanaka. I was at the club at the time. And the next day, I instructed my manager to find something on this man. If Jungkook-ah asks me, I know it's important." - Hoseok says.

"So did you find out anything?" - Jungkook asks, looking at hyung.

"I did find something, but with all the chaos with Uranium, I forgot to tell you." - He admitted. "Tanaka has ties to the Black Pearl, but he's not an arms dealer or anything. He's a drug supplier. We have never dealt with him. So it's obvious that this whole meeting is a setup." - Hoseok concludes. Namjoon exhales a deep breath. He seems to be convinced.

"I told you from the beginning that our golden maknae couldn't have done it." - Jin chimes in. "That's why I checked everything carefully. The money transferred through the offshore account that Jungkook allegedly made was made on the day he was in Suwon. Therefore, he could not physically authorize the payment. This required his personal verification code, which he could only enter from a device connected to our closed network. And that was not possible in Suwon." - Jin explains.

"It's obvious that Jungkook is innocent, judging by their conversation and the fact that someone had access to his device, the code that no more than 10 people know." - Jimin summarizes. "Jungkook was set up well." - Everyone is tensely silent. Namjoon runs his hand over his face and exhales heavily.

"Yeah. Now I see that Jungkook was really set up." - He stands up and walks to the window. He puts his hands in his pockets and stares out at the Seoul night skyline. "So there is a rat after all! And he's working for the Black Pearl!" - He says angrily.

Jungkook stands up and gives a grateful look to Jin and Hoseok, who have essentially proved him innocent.

"Namjoon, I know who set me up…" - Jungkook says confidently. "It's Doohoon, I'm sure of it. I know he's been friends with Sehun for a long time, the Black Pearl's makne. They share a common interest in destroying not only me, but you as well." - Namjoon slowly turned around, his gaze even more intense. The room fell silent, everyone waiting for his reaction.

"It's that little shit again. He still can't stop?" - Namjoon asked.

"Yeah." - Jungkook said. "I think it's all his fault." - Namjoon thinks about what Jungkook said.

"But then who is the rat who told the Black Pearl?" - Taehyung asks.

"It's someone who communicates with us directly. I think it could be our managers." - Jimin suggested. Everyone paid attention to him. Yongi sat up straight and spoke.

"Why don't we use the information that Y/N brought us?" - Yoongi suggested. Jungkook abruptly turned his gaze to his other leader and glared at him.

"What do you mean?" - He asked Yoongi. He looked lazily at Jungkook, explaining his proposal.

"We'll arrange everything as shown in the screenshots that Y/N gave to that journalist, but we'll only change the mode of transportation. In a casual conversation with our managers, we'll say that we had to change the transport because Taehyung reported on inspections from the authorities at the previous location. And then we'll find out which manager could be the rat." - Yoongi finished.

"And how will we know which manager was the rat?" - Taehyung asked. "If everyone knows..."

"Let's get the best hacker in Korea to put a tracer and tap on their personal and work phones." - Namjoon said as he walked over to Jin and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Geez, Namjoon-ah, could you think of anything more boring and unbearable for me than following your managers?" - Jin asked, whimpering. Namjoon slapped him on the shoulder and grabbed his collar, forcing him to stand up.

"Get up from my desk." - Jin stood up grudgingly, grabbing his laptop. "You'll need to keep an eye on Jimin's manager, Hoseok, two of Yoongi's managers, and three of mine. Twenty-four hours a day, checking everywhere you can, I need to know who the traitor is, and when I find out, I'll skin him. They have all forgotten who they are dealing with." - Namjoon said menacingly. Everyone fell silent, and Jin stood next to Jungkook and hugged him like a little brother.

"Well, we have a plan of action." - Jimin summarized, getting up from the couch. "I wanted to suggest that we all go to Muse, we didn’t celebrated Seollal. After work at 7:30 p.m., we'll all go to the club. I think after all this, we need to relax a little bit." - He suggested.

Everyone agreed, and gradually the room began to empty. One by one, they left, discussing plans for the evening. Namjoon was sitting at the table, continuing to work, and when Jungkook took a step toward the door, he stopped him.

"Stay a minute." - Jungkook looked at Jimin, who. He stepped in front of him and raised his eyebrows in surprise. Jimin pursed his lips and sent support in the form of a nod. Jungkook closed the door and walked over to the table.

When they were alone, Namjoon ran his hand over his face, as if to wash away the fatigue.

"I..." - He fell silent, then exhaled and looked Jungkook straight in the eye. "I'm sorry." - Jungkook looked surprised, raising his eyebrows.

"For what?" - He asked, not really knowing.

"For doubting you." - Namjoon said sincerely. "I know how dedicated you are, but when the whole situation started to unfold... I really thought you might have betrayed me."

Jungkook was silent for a few seconds before responding seriously.

"I would never do that." - He assured him. Namjoon looked at him and then nodded.

"I know. I know now." - He was silent for a moment and then added. "If anything ever goes wrong, remember that you can come to me. Always." - He said suddenly. Jungkook tensed a little, but then nodded.

"Thank you." - He bowed low.

"I know you're not here of your own free will, and your girlfriend asked me to let you go in exchange for information she brought me. And it's really valuable information, and it turns out I have to keep my word. So..." - Namjoon stood up from his chair and walked over to Jungkook. Jungkook looked at his boss carefully. "I forgive you all of your debt. You no longer owe me anything. You've worked hard for me all these years, so I've decided that you're now free from our agreement." - Jungkook could not believe he was hearing these words. They had been necessary for him at one point, but why wasn't he as happy as he had imagined when the debt was paid off?

"Are you serious?" - Jungkook asked in disbelief. Namjoon smiled sadly.

"Yes, our golden maknae." - He tapped him on the shoulder. "So if you want to leave, I'll understand, but not right now. Please finish the business with Uranium and you can be free." - Namjoon pressed his lips together. He looked like he was going to cry. Jungkook wanted to laugh that a man like Namjoon wanted to cry for him. He would finally be free.

But something in the middle of him was twisting. He had wanted to leave the world of the mafia for years, and now that he was really free, he seemed... reluctant to leave. He dreamed of this moment, of freedom, of being able to just disappear and start a new life. But for some reason, now this freedom seemed empty to him, like something he does not remember, as something unknown to him. But there was you, and you were pregnant. You will definitely be against it if he stays.

Silence hung between them, but this time it was not tense.

"Namjoon..." - Jungkook looked up again at the man in front of him. He looked calm, but his eyes betrayed fatigue and... sadness?

"Yes?" - Namjoon raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Why now? Why did you decide to let me go now?" - Jungkook asked. Namjoon tilted his head slightly, as if evaluating his words, and then exhaled heavily.

"You've always been one of the best, Jungkook. I've seen you as a potential since the first time we met. And I know I kept you here longer than I should have. But after everything... I realized that I don't want you to stay here just because of your debt. If you're going to be a part of this world, it's going to be by choice." - Namjoon said honestly. "Besides, I made a promise to your girlfriend. How can I not keep my word to her, she's so brave and she really loves you to put herself through such a trial." - Jungkook smiled warmly. But he immediately remembered how he yelled at you today. His heart clenched and he felt terribly guilty. Jungkook didn't know what to say. He nodded, as if accepting Namjoon's words, but his mind was also full of questions that he couldn't find the answer to. "You can think about it." -Namjoon patted him on the shoulder. "Now go. You have a lot of work to do." - Namjoon returned to the table, and Jungkook bowed gratefully and turned and left the room. He was greeted by the warm voices of Jimin and Taehyung, who were waiting for him near Namjoon's secretary.

"Well?" - Taehyung asked when he saw Jungkook leave.

"Is everything okay?" - Jimin was also concerned, nudging him lightly with her elbow. Jungkook nodded but didn't say anything else.

Jungkook went into his office and immediately dialed your number. You were out of range. Jungkook raised his eyebrows. Jungkook stared at the phone screen as he dialed again and heard a cold, automated voice: "The caller is out of range..."

He sighed, running a hand over his face. This was suspicious. You rarely turned off your phone, especially now that you were carrying their child under your heart.

He remembered yelling at you. How his own voice cut through the air, and your eyes gradually filled with pain.

"Fuck..." - He muttered, clutching the phone in his hand. You couldn't just turn off the phone. Was you really offended? That would be fair enough... He was being an idiot.

Jungkook leaned back and closed his eyes. Memories came flooding back to him.

He had known you all his life. At first, you were just friends, inseparable since childhood. You were always there for each other, sharing secrets, laughing, quarreling. Then everything changed. You started living together because he offered to save you some money and it seemed convenient, logical, and right at the time.

This offer changed his life forever. He is happy that he offered you and happy that you agreed at the time. He remembers all the fights he had because of those stupid rules you made up. It makes him smile now, but back then it was so annoying.

There was sexual tension between you because you started to react differently to his jokes, to his touch, you were jealous of the girls he brought home back then. On the day you had a big fight and wanted to move out because he specifically did not follow the rules you created, he realized he had to act.

He realized that you seemed to like him and he was right. Soon after that you two became friends with benefits, and the sex with you was so passionate and insatiable that he was just crazy about you. And then... Then he realized that he could no longer imagine his life without you.

Jungkook was head over heels in love with you. He adored you. And the fact that you loved him back was the best thing that had ever happened to him.You had gone through so much in those six months that it seemed like you had been together forever.

Jungkook always knew you were special. Ever since we were kids, you were more than just a friend to him. But he didn't pay much attention to it - it was just something he was used to, as natural as the air he breathed.

He fell in love with you gradually, unnoticed by himself.

First, he fell in love with your laugh. You laughed loudly, openly, without holding back your emotions. He could recognize your voice among hundreds, and as soon as you laughed, his heart began to beat faster.

Then there was your stubbornness. You always had your own opinion, you were not afraid to object to him, to argue, to prove your point. Sometimes it annoyed him, but at the same time, it fascinated him. He loved that sparkle in your eyes when you were passionate about something, loved your confidence with which you challenged him.

And then came the passion.

It was always there between you - even when you were just friends. Invisible, hidden behind innocent touches, glances that lingered a little longer than they should have. He remembered the first time he touched your lips - you were so sweet on his lips, so provocative, and he fucking loved it. He remembers your first sex. How your skin trembled under his fingers, how you squeezed his shoulders as if you were afraid he would disappear.

Jungkook remembered every night he spent with you. How you whispered his name, how you curled up in his arms, how you gave him your trust and tenderness. These were the moments when he lost his head, when nothing existed but the two of you.

But it was something else that captivated him the most.

The fact that after all the passionate nights you stayed with him. He would wake up in the morning and see you next to him - with tousled hair, slightly swollen lips, still sleepy, but so dear. You would hug him in his sleep, looking for warmth, and then he would realize that you were not just his passion. You are his love.

And this love has lived in him ever since.

You had to do was look at him and he would fall back into that whirlpool. You had to say something in your quiet, trusting voice or run your fingers over his wrist and he would lose control.

You were his fire and his calm. You were his temptation and his refuge. His best friend, his love, his universe.

And every time he looked at you, he fell in love all over again.

Jungkook finally opened his eyes. He will work for a few more hours and then go home. About forty hours passed and he dialed your number again.

"The caller is out of range..." - His fingers nervously tapped the table. He looked at the screen and saw that he had already called you four times.

Something was wrong.

Jungkook tried to concentrate on his work, but nothing was working. Thoughts of you were always in his head. He tried several more times to contact you, but it was all in vain. After two hours, he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up decisively, took his car keys from the desk, and left the office.

Jungkook went to Jimin's office and he was talking to someone on the phone. He had to wait for five minutes, which seemed like an eternity.

"Jimin, I came to tell you that I'm going home. Y/N is out of the zone and I don't like it. Her phone has been off for two hours now." - Jungkook said. Jimin got up excitedly and came over to him.

"Don't worry buddy, she probably just got mad at you and turned her phone off so you wouldn't call." - Jungkook shook his head. He thinks so too, but he'll be calm if he comes home and you're still mad at him and he'll do everything he can to make up with you.

"Yeah, I'll go." - Jungkook says, about to leave, but Jimin stops him.

"Hey Jungkook, when you and Y/N make up..." - He winks at Jungkook, hinting at sex between the two of you. "Come to “Muse” and we'll celebrate it together." - Jungkook smiles.

"Okay, Hyung, we'll come. When are you going to go there?" - Jungkook asked.

"I have some things to do. So I'll be there around 8:00." - Jungkook nods and says goodbye with a final "See you at the club".

On the way home, he tries to call you again, but your phone is off. Jungkook starts to get nervous. He arrives at your apartment, goes up to the 7th floor, enters the code to the door, and immediately realizes that you are not home. He looks for you in all the rooms, hoping that you are just lying there upset with no light on, but you are not there. Not in any room. The apartment is empty.

Jungkook is afraid to imagine what could have happened. He quickly goes to the car and gets behind the wheel. He starts the engine and drives to his apartment. Maybe you wanted to be there. To hide? On the way to his apartment, Jungkook dials Jimin.

"I'm listening to Jungkook-ah." - He says cheerfully.

"Jimin, brother, can you please check Y/N's location on her phone? She's not at home."

"Yes, Jungkook-ah, don't panic, okay?" - Jimin immediately felt the tension in his voice. "I'll check the geolocation now. Maybe she just turned off her phone somewhere."

"Please do it quickly." - Jungkook gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"I'll call you in ten minutes." - Jimin said.

Jungkook drove fast and arrived at his apartment, ran out of the car, and quickly went upstairs. He entered the code, opened the door, and his heart went cold. There was no sign that you had come here.

He walked from room to room, peering into the darkness until didn’t beat the wall. His breathing was labored, his chest tightened with a bad feeling. He instantly turned around, ran out of the apartment, and rushed to his car. As soon as he got behind the wheel, the phone rang.

"Well?" - He asked impatiently, answering the call. Jimin paused and then spoke.

"Kid... I don't want to scare you, but her last location was the Panho Bridge, near the Han River. And then the signal just disappeared." - Jungkook felt his chest tighten with panic.

"Wh-what?!" - He compress the steering wheel hard, trying to control himself. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. But calm down. The phone could have just blow off, or..."

"Or it could have been thrown into the river!" - Jungkook growled, nervously running his fingers through his hair. "Oh my God, she's been kidnapped? Fuck Jimin, she's pregnant... I have to find her!"

"She's pregnant? Oh my god! Jungkook, calm down! We'll find her! Just give me a minute, I'll check the cameras outside her house." - Jimin soothed.

"Do that. And please do it as soon as possible." - Jungkook dropped the phone, started the engine, and sped toward the bridge, ignoring the red lights and other drivers' signals. He was afraid that Doohoon might be involved in your disappearance again. Jungkook gripped the steering wheel with a terrifying force. The fucking sucker! He had enough. He's going to kill him if he's found to be responsible for your kidnapping.

The touches of reality come slowly. At first, it's oppressive darkness. Then - a heaviness in the head, as if consciousness is breaking through a thick fog. Your eyes do not open yet, but the sensations... they cut through this darkness, make you feel.

Cold. A piercing, unfamiliar cold that gets under my skin. You smell dampness, and dust hangs in the air.

You open your eyes. You see a dusty room in front of you. Darkness envelops every corner, with only a faint ray of moonlight coming through the dirty window. The air is frozen, musty, as if this room has not been opened for years.

Your body aches. You try to stand up, but your muscles refuse to obey. Your head is dizzy and your mouth is dry.

What did he do? What happened?

The last thing you remember is Doohoon pinning you to the car, the pain of a needle piercing your neck, and then darkness.

You don't know how you ended up here, but you know it's bad. Very bad.

Your foggy mind tries to figure out what's going on, but it fails.

Your baby.

Your heart is beating faster. What's wrong with her? Panic rolls in like a wave. You run your hands over your stomach, as if that can make a difference. What if it hurt the baby? What if...

No. If anything happens to the baby, you swear you'll kill Doohoon with your bare hands.

You turn your head involuntarily. The phone is gone. Your bag is gone. Nothing. You are cut off from the world.

Panic builds like a snowball, but you force yourself to breathe steadily. Now you can't show fear. You can't panic. You need to understand where you are and what Doohoon is up to.

You have to hold out. You have to find a way to escape. But above all, you need to understand how far Doohoon is willing to go.

Suddenly, the silence is split by the sound of footsteps. Heavy, measured, and you freeze. Your heart beats an anxious rhythm in your chest. The door creaks as it opens. A silhouette appears in the moonlight. Tall, tense. Doohoon.

His eyes are dark, shining with something inexplicable. He stares at you for a long time, as if reveling in the fact that you is helpless here, in front of him.

"Are you awake, Candy?" - His voice is soft, but you can hear the hidden tension in it. "Finally." - He closes the door behind him, and you suddenly realize that the trap has closed. It's hard to breathe from fear and pain, but you won't give up. All that matters now is the baby. You have to get through this. You have to endure it. Save the baby. You think about Jungkook and you want to cry. Sooner or later, he will find you. He will find you.

"He won't find you." - Doohoon suddenly says, as if reading your mind. He stops in front of you. He takes a chair that was standing nearby and sits down. He has a strange smile on his lips that you want to wipe away with your fists.

"Doohoon, have you gone fucking crazy?" - You say, your voice hoarse. You're shivering from the cold, your head hurts, and the gap is still spinning.

"Are you cold?" - He ignores your question and asks his own, a damn stupid one. You raise your eyebrows, wanting to strangle this idiot with your own hands.

His indifference only adds fuel to your anger. You're shivering, but you don't know if it's from the cold or from hatred.

"Are you serious?" - Your voice breaks into a rasp. "Doohoon, you injected me with something and kidnapped me, and now you're asking me if I'm cold?" - He sighs, leaning forward a little. His gaze is full of condescension.

"Well, it doesn't mean I want you to be sick, Candy." - He says it so tenderly, as if you were really his precious treasure and not a kidnapping victim. It's disgusting. It's...

You think of your baby. You look down, and almost instinctively put your hand on his. Fear clutches your throat. He notices your movement and squints.

"What's wrong?" - His voice changes, becoming more alert. "Worried about the baby?"

You force yourself to meet his gaze, trying not to show fear. You look at him with hostility.

"What did you inject me with?" - You ask. He does not answer. He just looks at you. Your patience is running out. When he doesn't answer and you feel like you've been waiting forever for him to answer, you can't contain your anger any longer. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME! ANSWER ME, YOU SICK BASTARD!" - You scream.

Everything happens quickly. He flies up to you and grabs you by the hair with one hand and the cheeks with the other. You automatically grab his hands. His fingernails dig into your soft skin, and his other hand clutches your hair painfully. He brings his face dangerously close to yours for a short distance. His face is still beautiful and flawless, but you see only the monster again, not the beautiful man.

"Who gave you permission to raise your voice to me?" - Doohoon says, lowering his voice to almost a whisper. His breath is hot and unpleasant on your skin. His eyes are dark, almost crazy. He squeezes your face harder, making you feel weak, defenseless. "You know I don't like it when you act so rough, Candy." - His voice is almost caressing, but it sounds threatening.

You gasp for air, trying not to let your fear show. His fingers dig painfully into your jaw, but you don't look away. Your heart is beating in a frantic rhythm, but you force yourself to hold on.

"Just tell me…" - You say, holding back tears. He looks at you, letting go of your cheeks. Then he touches your face gently, almost weightlessly, with his fingers. You resist, but he holds you back by pulling your hair, reminding you that you are in his hands.

"You're so beautiful, Candy. Have I ever told you that?" - He asks, his gaze locked on your eyes. You look at him angrily, no you look at him with eyes full of hate.

"I don't need your compliments." - You say, your voice trembling with hatred. Doohoon laughs. He looks at you for a second longer before suddenly letting go. You can feel the pain where his nails dug into your skin. But you don't lower your head.

"You talk too much." - He sighs, as if tired of your disobedience. Then he tilts his head to the side and changes his tone. "Sleeping pills. That's all." - You don't believe him.

"You mean it won't harm the baby?" - He presses his lips together as if thinking, before answering calmly.

"Why would I lie?" - He asks, putting his hands in his pockets. You look at his figure towering over you. Your hands clench into fists.

"Because you're an asshole." - You say through gritted teeth. He laughs. The sound makes you feel even worse.

"You're so outspoken, Candy. That's one of the things I hate about you." - He admits.

"Why am I here?" - You abruptly change the subject because you can't take the tension anymore. He doesn't answer. He hurls at you an irritating view. Doohoon decides that you have nothing more to talk about and walks away without answering you. "Hey, are you deaf? Where are you going?" - You try to get out of bed and chase him, but he's out the door. When you get to the door, it is already locked. You beat on the door with your hands, screaming, calling out to him, but to no avail. You slide down by the door, sitting on the cold floor and crying.

You sit on the cold floor, clutching your knees with your hands, and tears roll down your cheeks one by one. They are hot, stinging, but you do not wipe them away.

You are desperate. You don't even try to hide it - who needs it? You sob, biting your lip to calm yourself down a little. Everything is so bad that you don't even know how to cope with it. Why you? Why do you have to go through this?

His face pops into my head. Jungkook.

His deep dark eyes that always looked at you with such passion and care. His strong arms that hugged you as if they could protect you from the whole world. His voice full of tenderness when he called you by your favorite nickname...

"Jungkook..." - You whisper it barely audibly, as if this word could make him come here. But the silence in the room only proves once again that he is not here. That he doesn't even know where you are.

Pain rips through your chest. You clench your hands, your nails digging into your skin, trying not to cry even harder. But you can't stop yourself. And then your hand, almost instinctively, falls back on your stomach.

You inhale sharply. A baby. Your baby. You're not alone. You close your eyes slowly, forcing yourself to breathe more evenly.

For her... or him. For your baby's sake, you can't let yourself fall apart now.

A chill courses through your body, forcing you to finally lift your head. You take another breath, swallowing back tears, and finally force yourself to stand up. One step at a time. With your palms resting on the floor until you feel your body finally lift. You go back to the bed and slowly sit on the edge.

You're shaking, but you try to focus on your breathing. Take a deep breath. Exhale. Don't be nervous. Don't think about the worst.

You throw your head back, looking at the ceiling. But instead of a white canvas, you see him again. You remember his warm embrace. His chest, which you pressed against and felt so warm. His hands that touched you so gently.

You bite your lip, trying to push it out of your mind. But your heart feels like it's going crazy with pain.

"Jungkook..." - His name escapes your lips again, like a mantra. You want to be in his arms. You want to feel his warmth. You want him to be with you now... But he's not here. Only you are. And the darkness, which seems to be getting denser by the minute.

You climbed onto the bed, wrapping yourself in your coat. It was dirty, covered in dust. You sat staring at one point and didn't know what to do. You didn't know how much time has passed. An hour, two hours... you completely lost track of it. Your head hurt from crying and stress. Suddenly you heard footsteps again. Doohoon was coming toward you.

You tensed up against your will. How you wanted him to disappear to forever.

He enters the room and you notice that the light is on in the corridor. A strip of light makes its way into the room where you are sitting. Doohoon finds you sitting on the bed and flips the switch.

A bright light fills the room, and you put your hands over your crying face, you can't see the light because you're used to the darkness.

Doohoon goes inside and closes the door. The smell of ramen reaches your nose. You take your hands away from your face and see him putting a box of ramen and a corndog on a chair. He pulls the chair with the food closer to you.

You looked at the steam coming off the ramen, the smell of the seasonings should have awakened your appetite, but you didn't. You looked up at Doohoon, who took another chair and sat down next to you.

"You need to eat." - He said coldly. There was no trace of the softness in his voice that he usually showed you.

"I'm not hungry." - You said, looking away. You turned your face the other way so you wouldn't have to look at Doohoon, who you hated.

He presses his lips together, your words irritating him, but he doesn't say anything. He just pushes the food even closer, as if that will make you change your mind.

"Eat." - His voice is sharp, without any warmth.

"I said I don't want any." - You stubbornly turn away even more. Doohoon exhales, as if he's trying not to get angry.

"It's not up for discussion." - His voice becomes lower, more threatening. "You need to eat. You can't get weak."

"I don't care what you think." - You say colorlessly. You hear him smile.

"What? You decided to torture yourself? You've want to starve yourself until Junguk comes for you?" - Doohoon asks. You turn your head sharply toward him.

"It won't take him long to come get you!" - You say in exasperation. His eyes flash with curiosity. Doohoon gets up and walks over to the bed. He sits down in front of your legs tucked under your arms. You keep your eyes on him, as if preparing to defend yourself.

"You do realize he's not coming, Candy." - His voice is almost gentle, but there is only coldness in his eyes. You hate it when he calls you that. You hate the fake calmness in his voice. You hate the arrogant expression on his face as he looks at you now.

"He's coming." - You clench your teeth stubbornly. Doohoon laughs softly.

"He doesn’t care about you." - His next words make you freeze. "Jungkook won’t be getting out of that hole I drove him into anytime soon." - You blink. What? What has he done again?

"What did you…?" - You say quietly. He smiles contentedly.

"I made sure he wasn’t a problem anymore." - Doohoon replies. Your stomach clenches in horror.

"What are you talking about?!" - Your voice trembles. Did he hurt Jungkook again? He’s been everywhere. What kind of person is he?

Doohoon catches your gaze relaxed, enjoying your reaction.

"I set him up so that it would cost him his life." - He says.

"No…" - You whisper.

"Yes. And I tried to make it look very… convincing. It was easy to make him a traitor." - He says it lightly, as if it’s not a human life.

"Do you know Namjoon personally? If not, I can safely say that everyone who betrayed him is long since resting at the bottom of the Han River." - He says with a wide smile. He sits down closer and you tense up even more.

"No..." - You repeat again, not believing his words. And now you realize that this is the case Namjoon was talking about. The arms trade connected to the Black Pearl is the work of Doohoon.

"So I don't think you should go hungry. You should eat and think for yourself." - You were silent. You are breathing heavily, and you are filled with anger. For the fact that Doohoon can't accept Jungkook's existence. For not realizing that you hate him and that you will never reciprocate. For not being able to stop himself in time and making it all go crazy. Doohoon reaches for the box of ramen and hands it to you. You look at the food and then push it with your hand. All the ramen flies to the floor.

Doohoon sees what you did and his patience is over. He stands up and grabs you sharply. Doohoon squeezes your wrist so hard that you scream. His face is distorted with rage, his eyes dark as a bottomless pit.

"You're unbearable, you know that?" - His voice is husky, threatening. He pulls you sharply toward him, forcing you to rest your arms against his chest to keep your distance. You hit him, try to break free, but his grip only tightens.

"Let go of me!" - You scream, wriggling, but he doesn't even blink.

"Stop playing around. You're mine, and it's time to accept it." - He says. He leans closer, his breath burning hot on your skin. His fingers grip your jaw roughly, forcing you to look into his eyes. His other hand goes around your waist, trying to hold you close. Panic flares up in you even more.

You try to pull away, but in vain. In a moment, you find yourself on the bed, pinned down by his body. You look at him with eyes full of horror. If he does this to you, you just won't survive it.

He tries to kiss you, but you turn your head away, and then you feel his lips on your neck. The adrenaline in your blood is going through the roof. You start to resist even more, screaming. His breathing is hot and ragged, and his grip is iron. You pull with all your might, but he doesn't even move.

"Don't touch me! Stop it!" - You scream, your voice trembling with panic. - "Doohoon, don't you dare!"

He just smiles wryly, his fingers clenching your jaw ruthlessly, not allowing you to turn away.

"There's no need to provoke me, Candy." - He speaks in a low tone, his voice laced with irritation and morbid desire.

You can't breathe. He's too close. His weight is overwhelming, squeezing your chest, leaving no room for resistance. But you are not going to give up. He tries to get through your clothes and you're glad you have a coat on.

"Let me go, or else..." - Your voice breaks, but you force yourself to continue. "If you... if you do that, I'll kill myself!" - Doohoon freezes. His eyes darken even more, and this time there is something new in them - anxiety. He looks at you, his breathing steadies, and his fingers weaken. He is breathing heavily, just like you. You are painfully disgusted with him lying on top of you. He looks at your face for a moment longer, then lets you go and sits on the edge of the bed. He runs his hands over his face.

You can only hear his heavy breathing in the room. You climb further up on the bed, farther away from Doohoon. He turns to you, seeing your frightened look.

"You prefer death to being with me?" - He asks, more disappointed than angry. You look up at him, frightened, exhausted, and broken. Hot tears flow down your face from your shock. You hadn't eaten properly for two days and didn't sleep well, and you didn't have the strength to fight him because he is a healthy, strong man. Even if you knew some taekwondo moves, you couldn't use them, you just don't have the physical strength.

You are silent, scared to death. Doohoon approaches again, but he doesn't get too close. Your eyes are pure fear.

"Candy, you'll be mine willingly. You'll see, I'm much better than that bastard. We'll be happy together, you just have to accept me." - He looks at you, and you don't say anything, still crying. He curses, exhaling heavily. "I'll prove to you that you won't be disappointed in me. Just give me a chance." - He says desperately. You shiver from the old age and the cold.

"I'd rather die than be with you." - You say, determination in your voice. "You are a sick bastard who attacked a pregnant woman and kidnapped her." - You say, finally trampling on Doohoon’s hopes of having any kind of relationship with you. His eyes express anger. He raises his eyebrows and looks at you for a long time. Then he stands up abruptly. He turns to you and his voice is colder than the weather outside.

"I told you that you are mine. Whether you like it or not." - He pushed his foot away the chair with the cold corndog still on it. "Jungkook will not find you, and we will leave here very soon. To a place where no one will know you or me. And of course , I won't let you carry his child." - You freeze. It's like you're paralyzed.

"What...?" - You whisper unconsciously.

"Do you think I'm going to let you have of his child in you?" - His face distorts with anger. "I'll take it away, just like everything else."

You clutch your stomach, as if that could somehow protect your child.

"You won't do that..." - You say, shaking your head.

"I've already decided." - His voice is cold. "Jungkook is dead. And his child shouldn't live." - You clench your jaw, feeling the hot tears running down your cheeks in a thin ribbon along the route you've already laid out.

"If you ever hurt my child, I swear with everything I have, I will kill you." - You threatened. And you were one hundred percent sure of your words. You would never have thought of saying such words before, not even in your mind, let alone felt that you could do it.

Doohoon doesn't answer. He turns around and leaves the room, locking it.

The morning greets you with a coldness that penetrates to the bone. You sit with your arms wrapped around yourself, trying to keep warm. Your eyelids are heavy from a sleepless night, but you don't even think about closing your eyes. You can't. Everything is too quiet in this room, and every rustle seems as loud as thunder.

You don't know what time it is, but the sun has already risen high enough that a gray, dim light is shining through the bars of the window. It makes this room even more depressing - the walls seem even dirtier, the ceiling even lower, and your helplessness even more bitter.

You got up several times to stretch your muscles. You went to the window to study the area. There were bars on the window. You tried several times to loosen them, but to no avail. You couldn't make much noise so as not to attract attention. After trying for the third time, you gave up. You closed the window because the room was already cold.

You went to the door and listened. Doohoon's quiet voice was coming from behind the door. You could hear his words broken off: "at the company," "I got rid of phone," "the situation." The only thing you could understand from what you heard was that Doohoon had got rid of phone, but which phone was he talking about? Was it yours or his?

You listened again, but there was silence. You stood at the door, listening intently, but it was still quiet. You exhaled heavily. Your stomach growls, and you are hungry. You glance at the ramen scattered on the floor, and then at the cordon lying on the chair next to the bed. You turn away and go to the bed.

You lie down facing away from the door, curled up in a fetal position to keep warm. You close your eyes and feel terribly tired. You lie there wondering how to escape, what to do next. Is Jungkook looking for you? He should know by now that you are gone.

Your chest is pierced with pain, he is definitely looking for you. Namjoon didn't kill him. He couldn't have. He would've definitely looked into whether Jungkook could've betrayed him first. You think that would have been the case. But what if he didn't? Your blood runs cold at the thought that Jungkook could have been killed. You quickly push away the horrible thoughts that you shouldn't get yourself worked up.

You almost doze off. A cold, unpleasant dream was beginning to envelop you when suddenly you heard a loud bang. You sat up sharply on the bed, frightened. It felt like someone smashed a chair against the wall.

"FUCK! WHY THE FUCK IS THAT BASTARD STILL ALIVE!!!" - You hear Doohoon's furious voice. Your heart is pounding in your chest in a frantic rhythm. He's alive. Jungkook is alive. And he's looking for you. You run to the door, listening to what's going on behind it. "I PAID YOU MONEY TO DO THE RIGHT THING! LISTEN, YOU DUMBASS, IF I GET TO YOU, AND I WILL, YOU'RE GOING TO BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T DO IT RIGHT." - Doohoon is shouting somewhere in the next room and you can hear him clearly. He stops talking and you listen intently to the silence without even breathing. "Is he coming here?" - You can barely hear. A smile touches your lips. Your heart is racing. Jungkook is coming to get you.

But you cannot rejoice for long. You hear quick footsteps and run to bed. You barely have time to lie down on it, turning away, when the door opens. They swing open with such force that they kick up dust in a shock wave. You turn your head. Doohoon bursts into the room, his face contorted with anger, his eyes full of madness.

"Get up!" - He barks. He walks toward you and you notice a rope in his hands. You don't move. "I said get up!" - He shouts again. You look down at the ropes and notice on his wristwatch that it is 7 am.

He grabs your arm, pulling you to the edge of the bed. Before you can resist, he deftly throws the rope and ties your wrists together. Tightly. So hard that you can barely hold back a moan of pain.

"What are you doing?!" - You struggle, but it's no use. He ties you up. Your hands are tied behind your back, in a tight knot, binding them very tightly.

"We're leaving." - His voice is cold. He pushes you toward the door, forcing you to walk ahead. A few minutes later, you find yourself at the car. Doohoon opens the back door and then shoves you inside with a sudden movement. "Don't think about anything stupid." - He warns you. "I'm not an idiot to give you a chance to be free."

He drive for a long time. You don't know exactly how much time has passed. The windows are darkened, and your hands are cramping from the rough rope. You are worried that he has taken you too far. But Jungkook will definitely be able to find you, you are one hundred percent sure. You are sure that his friends from Ran Noir are helping him. They must be helping him.

When the car finally stops, Doohoon pulls you out and leads you inside a building. It's a small motel. The lamps on its sign have long since burned out, and old yellow light bulbs glow dimly in the corridors. It's almost at the end of its life.

"Be quiet." - He orders, stopping you at the threshold. "If you make a sound, you'll regret it."

You walk into a horrible lobby. An old man sits at the reception desk. He looks at you indifferently. Doohoon doesn't even try to hide your tied-up position. His hand squeezes your shoulder so hard that you're sure it will bruise.

"We need a number." - He says sharply, throwing a money on the countere. The old man looks at you lazily, then shrugs and holds out a key.

"Second floor, end of the corridor." - He answers, grabbing the money and starting to count it. You raise your eyebrows in surprise. This old man doesn't seem to care that you are tied up and dirty. Maybe he sees pictures like this every day, or maybe the earnings in this motel are so meager that he doesn't neglect any earnings.

Doohoon pulls you sharply behind him, forcing you to hurry up the stairs. The door closes with a loud click. The room is filled with the musty smell of dampness and dust. The gray curtain is barely hanging on the curtain rod, and there are dark spots on the ceiling.

"Sit down." - He orders, pushing you toward the old sofa. You don't argue. There is no point in it. You just look up at him, not hiding your anger.

"What are you going to do now? Are you going to sit here and watch me until your plan falls apart?" - You ask. The hope that Jungkook will find you soon gives you strength.

"Shut your mouth!" - He growls. "Don't try my patience!" - He warns. You shut up, thinking it's the right thing to do.

Doohoon doesn't sit down. He walks nervously around the room, clutching his phone in his hand. You realize he's nervous.

A few minutes later his phone rings. Doohoon answers it almost immediately.

"Yes!" - His voice is tense. You stare at his face, trying to understand what's going on. But it's not him who gives you the answer.

"Doohoon, I just found out that they've tracked you down. I saw that Jin is monitoring the roads from Seoul to Osan and Cheonan." - The voice on the phone is clear enough. You hold your breath. Ran Noir is looking for you, along with Jungkook. All you have to do is hold out until they find you.

"Damn shit!" - Doohoon curses. "DO SOMETHING! Turn off the lights, turn off the internet. Do something to buy me some time!" - He yells, ordering.

"Yes, Doohoon, I'll do anything for y..." - Suddenly the sound in the phone changes. It's screaming. The man on the other end seems to be choking on his own words.

"What the...?!" - Doohoon doesn't understand what happened. He hears the rustling and screaming. "Hey Insoo, what's wrong?" - Doohoon waits for an answer. You strain your ears. And you hear someone answering.

"Hello, honey." - You hear a familiar voice, but you can't remember who it belongs to. "Hey Doohoon, I think you're in big-big shit." - You catch the jovial tone and realize it must be Jin.

"Fuck!" - Doohoon throws the phone against the wall with all his might. You duck as the phone goes straight over your head. It shatters, falling into pieces. You realize only now that it was not his phone. He was using an iPhone, and the broken phone, the pieces of which are lying not far from your feet, is a Samsung. You don't have time to say anything. He abruptly grabs you, forcing you to stand up.

Doohoon drags you outside. He opens the car and pulls you into the trunk. Once you're in it, panic immediately clamps down on your throat. There is not enough air. There's not enough space. Your head is pounding, but you try not to panic.

You don't know how much time is passing. You were counting the minutes, but then you lost track. You were also ready to remember whether he turned, whether he turned on his turn signals, whether he stopped at a traffic light. But it was useless. You drove straight the whole time, not stopping anywhere.

When the car finally stops, Doohoon pulls you again. Your whole body hurts and you are exhausted to the max. The building he brings you to looks like it should have collapsed long ago. You inhale the dust and metallic flavor. An aluminum factory or something like that?

Doohoon drags you up the stairs, which sway under the weight of his steps. He sits you down on the floor. And he looks nervously out the window, which looks like it leads to the road. You see him reach into the waistband of his pants and pull out a gun. You freeze in horror.

He twirls the gun in his hands as if thinking about something, and then abruptly puts it down on the windowsill, sighing heavily. The room is in tense silence, broken only by the sound of the wind seeping through the cracks in the walls.

You clench your fists, feeling the ropes cut into your wrists. Your heart is pounding furiously.

"Why did you do all this? What have you achieved?" - You ask, your voice hoarse with fatigue. Doohoon doesn't even turn his head.

"You should have been mine from the beginning." - His voice trembles with anger. "He stole you from me, shamelessly, when I told him I liked you." - He turns to you, and his eyes are fierce. "You chose a scumbag. You chose him!" - Doohoon takes a step closer, and you instinctively move away. "And I... I loved you all my life!" - You shudder at his words.

"Love?" - You laugh bitterly. "Is this love? Kidnapping, violence, threats?" - He clenches his jaws, his eyes full of hatred.

"I could have given you everything... You ran to him. To an arrogant, narcissistic bastard who fucked everything that moved! And you took him when he was sated enough." - You look up at him sharply.

"You think you can hurt me with that? Do you think I don't know that?" - You ask. Doohoon grinds his teeth.

"You know…" - He said with venom in his voice. "So that means you just another one on his list. Another Jungkook’s whore!" - Doohoon says roughly and approaches you.

"And you're just another pathetic loser who can't accept the fact that he's been rejected!" - You reply with no less rudeness. His fist clenches. And a moment later you feel a sharp pain as his palm comes down on your cheek with all its strength. Your head falls to the side, your ears ring.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" - Doohoon screaming. You accidentally bite your lip, not expecting a blow, and it starts to bleed. You remain silent, licking your lips, the taste of blood flooding your mouth. "I'll wait for him here." - Doohoon says, grabbing your hair. He tilts your head back and looks right into your eyes. "And this time it really will be over." - He pulls your head back and walks away.

You are left alone. Your chest heaves painfully with deep breathing. Tears are in your eyes, but you don't let them escape.

And suddenly... A barely audible rustle. You raise your head sharply. And you meet his eyes.

Jungkook.

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[szhmidty]

I can never really get over how much of the resentment towards modern art is based purely on some group of art nerds liking art you hate and disliking/dismissing art you like, and being strident about it.

With architecture, I kinda get it. You are forced, in some sense, to engage with architecture. It's funny to me that there seems to be widespread ignorance about the fact that large bricks of steel, glass, and concrete keeping getting made for economic reasons rather than artistic ones, but the distaste and frustration for it makes sense.

You just don't have to go to an art gallery full of modern art, though. Duchamp's fountain is not hiding in your closet ready to jump you.

"But szhmidty, all these hoity-toity art critics say that bullshit, degenerate modern art is supremely important, some of them even insult your intelligence or proclaim you ignorant for not liking a painting with 3 stripes or a "sculpture" that's just a lamp with a barbie doll shoved in the bulb socket."

So? Why do you care? Why do you worry about their opinion? They don't matter! They don't determine the direction of commercial art, and their relevance outside their narrow field is negligible. They don't matter, or they wouldn't if you'd just get over your seething hatred.

Why do you care if this person called you a baby for your art taste? In what way does it affect you? Why does it make you so angry? I truly do not get it.

At a certain point, I need you to realize that you're trolling yourself.

==========

You know what art I "love"? Christian art. Well, the stuff that's well crafted and coherent enough to be somewhat entertaining on it's own merits.

I didn't bother watching God's Not Dead 2 though 46 or whatever, but I thoroughly enjoyed watching the first one. That movie evinces a level of contempt for me, me as a person, me as someone who thinks like I do, in a really pure, unadulterated way.

The studio, actors, and champions of God's Note Dead deeply hate me and everyone like me.

But for the life of me I cannot muster resentment towards that film that comes within an order of magnitude of the resentment towards modern art and it's defenders.

There is, I guess, the unpleasant fact that I share a world with millions of people like that, that such people ultimately decide national policies. I would prefer that not be the case.

But on a personal level I just don't value or care about their opinions enough to be insulted by them. It's like being insulted by a toddler. I would genuinely be more upset if a friend's kid called me a butt-face in anger. At least I want the kid to like me.

==========

I have a similar dynamic with "subs only" anime fans. You have specific cases where the dub is more of an adaptation of the original, where there are strong differences between the sub and the dub, and for those I'll grant that the sub is probably better.*

I'd originally written up a paragraph on subs vs dubs here, but actually it just doesn't matter. I basically never watch a sub unless the dub is genuinely horrible, or the story is wildly different because the dub got censored for american audiences or whatever, or if a dub literally doesn't exist.

There's a large contingent of anime fans who feel contempt for me as someone who defaults to watching dubs. They will openly mock and belittle dubs preferers.

And like. I just can't care. Outside of a personal enjoyment in having arguments and yelling about things I do and don't like, I simply feel nothing when I see contemptuous comments from subs preferers.

*The exception is Ghost Stories. Anyone who recommends the sub over the dub isn't merely a disciple of the holy art of subtitles, they're just delusional. Or they hate the very specific brand of humour that the Ghost Story dub is going for, but if I'm being honest I would not believe the average crunchy roll subscriber if they claimed to dislike it. I've seen what makes them cheer.

==========

There's something of an irony to writing 10 paragraphs dedicated to people who insult me only for me to end each section with "I don't care." Like why would I write so much if I didn't care?

Mostly I'm just trying to look for cases where I might be on the other side of this issue, the side of the insulted, belittled, and demeaned, to put myself in the hot seat, as it were.

You can believe me when I say "I don't care" or not, I don't care.

[flounder9898]

I consider myself a conservative independent and I’d personally think that yes being gay is a sin but I wouldn’t say it to anyone in person or on the internet because we are all sinners and I am not perfect so I will let people live their lives as long as it doesn’t affect me. And this goes with besides trans because it is a completely different thing to me. I think that you are saying that god made a mistake when he created you in his image and I will let you live your life as long as it doesn’t affect me or any child because what most of you don’t know is that you are doing horrible damage to your body and others that you force to transition. If you look it up what the original purpose of these “puberty blockers” were you’d find that they were meant to chemically castrate pedophiles. What you also haven’t heard of is how bad it affects kids. There was a kid in the 1900’s in the USA that was born male and he had something that messed up his genitalia before he was even able to walk so the doctors recommended making the kid transition to be a female and the kid found out not to long after he was an adult and killed himself because the parents did that to him and gaslit him too and when his brother found out about this whole story he killed himself too. Also if you have heard of Jaz Jennings (yes I know that I probably spelled it wrong) I’ll be nice and say she but her parents decided that since they wanted a girl to transition their son into a girl and they did this with in the first year of her life and had her transition very young and she has been having lots of psychological issues lately like she wants to date and get married but no one wants her. She wants to know what sex is like but no one wants to have sex with her. She wants to have an orgasm but because she doesn’t have the female genitalia to have a female orgasm or male genitalia so she can’t have a male orgasm at all and she is developing major psychological issues lately because of what her parents did. We have seen what happens to people that transition and it isn’t good it messes with their brains destroys their bodies and causes many major medical issues so we need to stop this stuff from happening anymore. Being transgender isn’t a good thing it will most likely kill you. Please if you want to be trans be a transvestite and don’t do very harmful stuff to your body. And many hidden studies have shown that people who believe they are trans at a young age are actually either gender confused and realize that they are not trans or they are actually gay or lesbian so please don’t be trans before your 18 and if you believe you are trans see a therapist that will help you through these feelings and if you turn 18 and decide you still want it go for it but I personally think you shouldn’t do it regardless but you are an adult. And the people who ended up detransitioning depending on how far they went might have irreversible damage and trauma. If you decide to be called trans and don’t take any steps to transition then you are one of the lucky ones. But if you start taking medication or have surgery to remove something and decide to not continue you are screwed because you did something that can never be undone. Even taking a testosterone pill to become a man will mess up your body and cause long lasting harm.

If you're gay, Republicans don't want you. I guess you didn't get the memo. They don't care about LGBQ rights.

Literally every slur I've ever gotten has been from a leftist, but go off I guess

[lesbiansforboromir]

I remain fascinated by the sensation that like... the entire emotional plot of Lucanis' narrative was abandoned.

Like okay. There's this assassin right? He lost nearly his entire family in assassin civil wars. Because of this, his grandmother abused him as a child into becoming a killing machine. She didn't want to lose anyone else after the deaths of all her children, Lucanis needed to be the best assassin in order to survive. But it was still torture (Lucanis' words). And he used too resent her for it.

But Lucanis, by his own admission, is incapable of seeing other people outside of the structure of 'family, enemy, contract'. So, barring an extreme change in the status quo, his family was the only source of intimacy or belonging he was ever going to be able to have. That included those other crows close enough to him that they felt like family, but they were all still crows.

So this is a man who suffered massive injustice and loss extremely early in his life entirely at the hands of and because of the assassin order he was then forced to join, as an exemplary member no less! And he had to forgive all of it, because the alternative was to lose everything. If he held onto his resentment to his grandmother it would have been at the expense of the only caregiver he could ever have and probably his life to boot.

And then his cousin betrays him, with Lucanis' death being his intention. But Lucanis doesn't die, and instead is FORCED to commune with a demon of spite. Like, quite literally the most extreme version of the one emotion he is never allowed to feel at pain of abandonment and death.

The emotional themes should have written themselves at that point! Like Spite had to be forced on Lucanis, and even when they were literally living together in the same mind Spite still cannot even touch him. He can rage, he can hurt Lucanis (only him) he can momentarily puppet his body when Lucanis' control slips but Lucanis never allows himself to touch spite, to feel spite and that is tearing them both apart. Lucanis has imprisoned Spite in his head, as well as himself.

But there is a change in the status quo! Or at least there can be if your Rook decides to become close with Lucanis in spite of (hehe) all his walls and distances. For the first time in his whole life Lucanis can have friends who have nothing to do with the Crows. He can experience a relationship that he does not have to bury resentment for.

So surely like... at least one pathway in his questline should have seen him returning to that resentment and anger towards his grandmother and the crows in general right? Seeing them all in a different light, letting go of his need to defend them so avidly when he realises it was to cope with his inability to leave... Like how was the end of this theme just a choice between imprisoning Illario and imprisoning Illario (lite)? How were Lucanis and Davrin pitted together so emphatically and yet the Grey Wardens were the only ones to get a moral and emotional reckoning? (sort of) When Taash wants to train as a crow Lucanis seems actively distressed at the idea of putting them through that. How is there not a version of this story where Caterina once again attempts to force Lucanis deeper into the crow hierarchy and he instead just says no, and fuck you, and I can't do this anymore. I won't be the First Talon, I won't even be a crow, I'm leaving.

And like that should have then had consequences for your playthrough, the Crows are held together by these social pressures and if Lucanis rejects it then what help you can garner from them should have been drastically limited. Like a true choice between longterm good for one vs risking short term harm for the many. And if you chose the other option that is a reasonable descision, you need the Crows, it's the end of the world but that's also yet another confirmation to Lucanis that resentment is illegal and he is nothing without his family which would have longterm consequences for his relationships LIKE! IF THE GAME IS ABOUT REGRET AND LETTING GO OF IT OR SINKING INTO IT, IF IT'S ABOUT MAKING HARD CHOICES AND LIVING WITH THEM... WHAT THE HELL ARE WE EVEN DOING HERE RIGHT NOW? It's just bizarre how so many of these stories SEEMED to be going somewhere themactic and satisfying and interesting and then just take this sudden turn into the flaccid and incoherent. WHAT. HAPPENED!!!

[kabr0ztrousers]

Hiii :)))

I’ve been reading your work for a while now and its. so. fricken. good. 🥵🔥🔥 Seriously, you’re great at writing! Love! Also I have a request for you, I know you have a few on the docket but I wanted to send you one for whenever you have time/if you like it! It took me a bit to decide to send one (i was shy..) Anyway

I have sooo enjoyed your minotaur stories and I love the idea of the minotaur farm. I was thinking f/human + m/minotaur. She applies to work at the farm having a secret lust for the beasts and wanting to become a breeder (she doesn’t end up getting hired as one) BUT obvi she ends up getting bred secretly without her bosses knowing 👀 Some edging/orgasm denial and definitely him dominating the hell out of her!! Also knotting and him being in heat would be so hot… Thanks for taking the time to read this!! Again love your work xx

(hopefully will be submitting again so if the 🪽 emoji isn’t taken yet, just know that’s me!) thanks!!! 🖤❤️‍🔥🖤

Hopefully this is the same 🪽 anon I gave that emoji to before, because I saw that ask before this one!

Kabr0z Writes episode 57: Ranch-hand

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!

CWs: group sex; sharing; mmmf; giving fellatio, including throatfucking; masochism; service top; creampie; size difference; edging; squirting; unprepared anal; hucow mention; alcohol use; coerced alcohol use (kinda); alcohol intox; hair pulling; impact play

A/N: I skirted the line a little here with the CWs, the POV character goes to the location to get aggressively fucked, and I tried to communicate her getting off on hair pulling and impact play, even going so far as to help the first minotaur along. On the other hand, I'm not sure if that'll cross lines for people so that's why you're getting spoiled in the a/n - it's still real good though and I hope you enjoy

########################################

You'd first applied for a job as a cow. You knew the ranch kept human livestock, they weren't the most subtle about it, and you'd had more than enough of the office 9-5. Of course, you didn't get the job. It's not a job you apply for, and it's definitely not something you'd find on anyone's CV.

Whatever. You'd gotten over it and quit your shitty desk job anyway. Who knows, you might be able to make a living selling pictures of your feet. Your phone pinged. An withheld number texted you. No name, just a time and the address of the farm. What did you have to lose?

You knew the way already. The minotaurs who ran the place seemed not to understand the concept of aerial photography, so allowed the women to graze, stark naked, on the field away from the road. Sure, you can't see it as you drive by, but if you know what to look for it really stands out on the LandSat data. The drive wasn't even far, though it's a little strange to be wearing so little on the way. You'd decided to only wear a skimpy nightgown, so your bare legs were sticking to the faux leather seats of your car, to say nothing of the snail trail coming from your slit. It's funny, if you're right, you're going to a life somewhere between monastic ascetic and sexed-up hedonist. Despite hoping to never see your clothes again, you'd still dressed in something you wouldn't care if it got ruined.

You turned off the main road. It's still about a mile of field until the farmhouse, but the road here isn't paved. Your tiny Vauxhall bounced up the path, snaking up switchbacks until halfway up the hill you arrived.

The house isn't large. Despite the three minotaurs living there and working the ranch, the building was about as large as your home (former home) and you wondered how they managed it.

You opened the door of your car. The cold predawn air made your nipples stand on end, pointing out of the almost-translucent fabric of your nightie as you walked barefoot to the door and knocked.

No answer.

Not even a peep. You wished you'd brought your phone to check the text, but knew better than to take a tracker with you to get semi-kidnapped into an illegal fuck-slave ring. That just seemed like a no-brainer. You knocked again.

Still nothing.

You tried the handle.

It opened. You stepped in, the front door went to a vestibule where you wiped your muddy feet before going further into the house.

Now the living room. A couple of well-worn sofas, a pile of beer cans in one corner and the remains of a takeaway littering the coffee table. The kitchen looked to be in a similar state, empty bottles of vodka and other cheap spirits on the counter, the fridge door ajar.

Someone had a good night

You padded up the stairs. The warmth of the house causing your goosebumps to settle down, but your nipples still stood out as you explored the house.

Four doors at the top of the stairs, the bedrooms and the bathroom, each opening onto the windowless landing. You picked at random. Snoring echoed through the upper floor, these minotaurs weren't light sleepers, especially after putting away enough booze to hospitalise a baseline human. You pushed the door, the latch clicking lightly as it opened and the smell of liquor hit you. The minotaur lay in his bed, mostly naked, still clutching a bottle of supermarket-brand whiskey.

You turned, meaning to leave the tiny bedroom, mostly filled with bovine beefcake. A hand grabbed your face. The smell of the liquor and last night's curry filled your nostrils.

"What you doing here?"

"Mmmmph!" You tried to speak through the hand over your mouth, but couldn't make a sound.

The minotaur pulled you into the dark room and forced you back onto his bed. The neck of the whisky bottle was at your face. The hand over your mouth moved, you opened and he poured the cheap spirit into your mouth. Great gulps went down your throat as the rest covered your face. The smell of the alcohol filled your senses, drowning out the smell of the man gripping your face. Your head started to spin as the alcohol hit you, filling you with warmth.

Even semi-hungover, he looked good, and this is why you came here, after all.

You were staring at each other. He looked puzzled. His thumb was next to your mouth. You opened a little wider, letting it slip in as you angled your head to suck on it, tasting the warm liquid on it. Slowly, he was getting the message as you held his hand to your cheek and slid off the bed onto the floor.

You yanked off his boxers, leaving him totally naked in front of you as you knelt on the pile of clothes next to his bed. You looked at his sheath, using one hand to rub it, marvelling as the flared head of his cock rose from it.

You licked the end, kissing it and rubbing your face on it. The hand on your face had softened already, feeling you rather than holding. That wouldn't do. You took his hand gently and put it on the back of your head, curling his fingers into your hair as you bobbed your head. His fist tightened, you felt your cunt twitch as he pulled on your hair.

You took his cock deeper in your mouth. You needed to encourage him a little, but he was pushing you down on it now. You helped him push himself past your throat barrier, forcing the thick cock down past your tonsils, feeling the flare pop in, out, in, out.

One hand juggled his balls, each one the size of a duck egg, the other slipped up your nightgown, one slender finger teasing your leaking hole.

You could hear him groaning, the sound mixing with your lewd slurping and moaning.

A hand banged on the door

"Jim! Turn off the sound! Fuck sake!"

"S'not a video" your minotaur groaned out

"The fuck?" The door opened. Another minotaur stood in the door, looking down at you

You saw him grin. He slipped off his sweatpants and started grasping his sheath, the cock rising in his hand.

They lifted you to the bed. Jim sat in front of you, his cock in front of you, glistening with slime from your throat, a strand of your spittle linking the twitching end with your lips. The other cock was behind you, pressing gently against your cunt. Your arms were being held behind your back, one huge hand keeping both wrists in place. You let your tongue dangle, eyes locked with the minotaur in front of you as both his hands gripped your hair.

The cock behind you sank in. Your eyes crossed

"Oh, yes, give it to me" you moaned

Neither of the minotaurs held back. The one behind you hilted himself in you as your throat was filled again. Every inch of his cock was being used, pulling almost out of your pussy before that flared end slammed back down into you, his hips hitting yours and hammering your face another inch down his brother's cock. Again and again, he pushed you forwards, each time the cock got deeper down your throat. Your eyes watered, the alcohol was keeping your gag reflex down, but he still hurt going this deep. You could feel it in your cunt, oceans of wetness lubricating the cock claiming your nethers. You felt yourself starting to clench, to twitch. You rode his cock even as he abused your hole. You're nearly there...

He pulled out. Your cunt clenched against nothing, the throbbing ache running down your legs and up your belly. Your hands were still pinned to the small of your back as the cock in your throat started to pulse. The one behind you slapped your ass before stuffing three fingers into your cunt, twisting them, massaging your hole as his brother spurted hot, thick, salty cum down your throat. There was so much, if it wasn't for the wide flare sealing your throat off you could feel it would be squirting out of your nose. As it was, you swallowed it down. Your swallows pulled him in further, your body trying to force the foreign object down. He pulled out instead, flare popping out of your mouth as he rubbed the blunt end of his cock on your face, mixing his cum in with your throat slime and tears.

"Gonna take a shower. Give Jack a turn" Jim left the room, sidling past his brother as he kept sliding his fingers in you

"You'd like that, huh? Have all three?" He snarled at you, thumb brushing against your clit

"Please?" You're still drunk, you just wanted to cum all over this beast behind you

"All right then" he snatched his hand away from your cunt, wrapping it around your torso and listed you so you faced him. Your tits pressed on his front as you held on. His cock was at your open cunt. You tried to push it in, but he held it just at the entrance. You rubbed against the tip as he walked to the end of the hall

"Jack! Got a surprise!"

"Fuck off, John!"

John pushed the door open with his back. You saw the last minotaur on the bed. He saw you too

"So that fuckmeat came after all"

"You know this bitch?" John sounded amused, using one hand to slap your ass again as the other pinned you to him "I just thought Jim pulled somehow"

"Yeah, she's a wannabe cow" Jack grabbed a handful of your hair. You whined as he pulled it

"Fuck, if only there was more of her..." His cock was at your asshole now, next to his brother's still grazing the entrance of your cunt "real painslut, aren't you?"

You nodded

He pushed.

Your asshole clenched as the cock forced its way in. John pressed you down, his cock impaling your cunt as the other barged into your unprepared asshole.

The tip slipped in. John fucking you was spreading your juices onto his brother's cock. It wasn't enough to stop it hurting as he forced it up you, but it helped.

Both cocks rubbed against each other, you felt them inside you, driving up as you fell down. The men sandwiched you, keeping you upright, stretched out and stuck on them, legs dangling off the floor as they fucked themselves with you.

Your head spun. The cock in your ass didn't hurt any more, or it did, but it was getting you off so you didn't care. Your moans and whines filled your head, getting closer to the edge as they rutted into you.

"What? You wanna cum" John growled into your ear

"Yes" you whined

"Yes what?"

"Yes, sir"

"You gonna be our cumrag?"

"Yes sir"

"Ok then, you can cum"

John grabbed one of your arms, pushing your hand between you and him. Your fingers rubbed your clit. Your eyes streamed as you wailed into his shoulder, cunt squirting onto the floor.

Both of your abused holes clenched and pulsed, the force of your finish milking the beasts as they railed you.

John came first, his cock hardening even more in you as he buried it, hot cum streaming out into your womb as you held each others bodies. You felt Jack slam his hips into your asscheeks, squeezing your hips as his flare expanded in you, seed pumping into your rear.

Both men held you there, enjoying the three-way embrace as they softened in you.

The shower came free, they let you go first on one condition:

You'd move in with them, to do this again and again

########################################

I just realised that if I catch up on Sunday, then that'll be early March... The question is, do I move to Volume 2 on Saturday with the calendar month, or at 60 episodes?

Doesn't make a difference to the day-to-day pornographing, only the contents pages, but it's a decision I wasn't anticipating...

[itwasntimethatdidit40]

This is all I've read this month, in chronological order. Every month I always think it's too little but unfortunately it's the best I can do.

Please give love to these writers, reblog and comment because they are very talented and deserve so much.

As for me, you won't see me posting for a while. I'll be back sooner or later but I can't say when. Writing has always been a joy for me but I haven't felt well lately and I don't even feel like opening my wip files (stuff that nobody needs anyway so who cares, I’m just another stupid voice in the chaos), let alone finding an idea that doesn't make me gag.

If you need to ask me something for my challenge I'll be here for you but for the rest I probably won't be that active, sorry.

Please mind the tags and warnings to make sure a story doesn’t trigger you and makes you uncomfortable, I’m not responsible for what you choose to read, only you are.

Biting down - @psychedelic-ink

Joel Miller x f!reader

you finally go and get your nipples pierced.

Give me Hell - @aurorawritestoescape

Stepdad!Joel Miller x f!reader

you come home drunk and Joel isn’t happy. He decides to teach you a lesson.

Yes Sir - @probablyreadinsmut

Dave York x f!reader

Drabble, gun smut

Untitled - @mybvalentine

Joel Miller x f!reader

(Un)faithful chapter 2 - @probablyreadinsmut

Javier Peña x f!reader

After Javier takes a bold step into the bathroom, your friendship dynamic takes a dramatic turn.

Finite eternity - @sizzlingcloudmentality

Professor Reed Richards x f!reader

after getting your phd you return to your former professor to thank him. he says some nice things and you get a "you're coming" guarantee. coming to dinner that is.

Love me like a loaded gun - @joelmillerisapunk

fuckbuddy!Javier Peña x f!reader

Javier Peña is a man who never stays, but that doesn’t stop him from showing up at your door, seeking solace in the only way he knows how.

-or-

my interpretation of Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey if it was a Javi fic

You oughta know - @yxtkiwiyxt

Joel Miller x f!reader

You and Joel return from a double date, and you find out he’s jealous of your colleague, Frankie  

Going down - @aurorawritestoescape

Joel Miller x f!reader | Frankie Morales x f!reader

you have a hot boyfriend and a hot ex who’s still obsessed with you. Why not get the best of both worlds?

BDSMaid epilogue - Series Masterlist @mountainsandmayhem

Joel Miller x f!reader

After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.

Untitled thigh riding - @probablyreadinsmut

Javier Peña x f!reader

What happens behind Buc-ees stays behind Buc-ees - @probablyreadinsmut

Joel Miller x f!reader

56 year old Joel Miller spends his days as a blue collar contractor busy on the job site, though his idea of being 'busy' involves standing around cat-calling ladies all day long. One day he tries his luck with you and he gets more than he bargained for in the process.

Naughty thoughts - @aurorawritestoescape

Professor!Joel Miller x f!reader

you’re failing Prof. Miller’s class and he finds a punishment for you.

Owned Collection - @milla-frenchy

Joel Miller x fem reader

Family time - @greenwitchfromthewoods

Frankie Morales x f!reader

you came back from your parents in a really bad mental state

What If We Kissed In The Buc-ee's Bathroom?

CatCaller!Joel Miller x F!Reader

Ol' Joel has done goofed, he's let you into his life and now you've completely turned it upside down. Oh and we're doing more than just kissin' it that bathroom ;)

Girl Dinner part 4 - Masterlist - @slimybeth69 Dead Dove Do Not Eat

Joel Miller x f!reader

After the civilized world you once knew came to an end-- the men that survived... well they just take, take, take. Growing tired of having things taken from you-- you have a hankerin' to take somethin' for yourself... and make him perfect.

Perfect Match - @aurorawritestoescape

Dieter Bravo x f!reader x Marcus Pike (lactation kink)

Dieter becomes a face of a dating app and meets you and your husband while shooting an ad for it. Feeling an immense attraction, he invites you both to his penthouse, planning to enjoy the night and you to the fullest.

Untitled - @letsgobarbs

Kermit (Pedro Pascal Close Encounter 50th) x AFAB!Reader

PWP with Kermit

Hold my hand - @aurorawritestoescape

Clint x f!reader

you have good news for Clint and it seems that you two are ready for another big step in your relationship.

The Senator’s secret - @baronessvonglitter

modern!Oberyn Martell x fem!Reader x modern! Senator!Marcus Acacius

An old flame invites you to be his fake girlfriend so he can spend the evening with his new secret lover. It doesn't hurt that the three of you are attracted to each other..

Shameless - @milla-frenchy

Lucien De Leon x fem reader

you ask Lucien to come over and he does exactly what you need him to

Vices - @baronessvonglitter

Din Djarin x OFC x bi! f!Reader x OMC

You're not one to be shy of your vices, but a night with a mysterious woman has you and your work partner Din chasing new highs.

Visitation - @gothcsz

Javier Peña x f!reader

Javier visits you in prison after putting you in there.

(Un) faithful - @probablyreadinsmut (Chapter 3)

Series Masterlist

After an admission from Lorraine, you and Javier take some time to think about what you both want, but after a tortorous round of golf with Randy and your husband, the writing on the wall becomes visible for both you and Javi.

Bottoms up - @joelmillerisapunk

bfd!Joel Miller x bfstepdad!Arthur Morgan x f!reader

a threesome sex pollen fic where two men kiss

Iron hand - @thundermartini

Arthur Morgan x f!reader

Back in Saint Denis to recharge after a bounty, Arthur makes an unforgettable encounter. Fate makes you cross paths again months later.

Dark Room - @gothcsz

Javier Peña x f!reader

Accidentally getting locked in the photo developing room with Javier.

For you I’d steal the stars - @gothcsz // Drabble

Marcus Acacius x POC f!reader

The afternoon - @frannyzooey

Joel Miller x f!reader

Preciosa - @lotusbxtch

Pero Tovar x f!wife!reader

You would have never predicted that such a delicate thing would be Pero Tovar’s undoing.

Last Call - @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal

Joel Miller x f!reader

After you breakup with your boyfriend of 6 years, you head to the bar to wait while he packs up his shit at your place. Joel is a bartender in the bar you randomly picked. Will fate bring you together? tldr: Joel talks you through it.

The Condom - @toxicanonymity / Drabble

Javi P x f!reader x Steve Murphy

Good Boy - @sp00kymulderr / Drabble

Joel Miller x trans male reader

We shouldn’t have done that - @yxtkiwiyxt

dbf! joel miller (or maybe it's just dad’s buddy) x f!reader

It's been a while since you've seen Joel, not since that 'moment' that happened between you two. Now, you have to face him when Sarah calls you in a panic, asking for a ride from a party because her friends are too drunk to drive.

[jeongteen]

MY FAVORITE MODEL

Hyun-ju x gn!reader

Notes : I was playing around with that "relationships headcanons" website and had a prompt about one person loving to take pictures and the other one hating to be on camera, decided to write a little story for my lovely Hyun-ju (also I feel like we're getting less stories about her nowadays, I needed to react!) My requests are open for Hyun-ju and several other characters, just check my pin to see :)) Keep in mind English is not my first language so my apologies for any mistake <3

CW : low self confidence, fluff, comfort (let me know if I missed anything)

Summary : You love taking pictures of your lovely girlfriend Hyun-ju, she doesn't seem to appreciate it as much.

Words count : 505

It's a sunny afternoon. The kind of afternoon that makes you want to spend the whole day outside, surrounded by nature. And that's what you decide to do today. Hyun-ju loves these moments between the two of you, she can forget about the heaviness of life for a moment and just enjoy the warmth of the sun with her lovely partner.

In these moments, you love having your camera with you to take some photos. You love capturing the beauty of things all around you. You take photos of flowers, the sky, everything around you.

Your favorite subject is your girlfriend, Hyun-ju. Since the day you met her, you've been blown away by her beauty. Everything about her is so perfect. The way her hair perfectly falls on her shoulders, her little smile whenever you compliment her, her soft looking hands with her black painted nails, the way she dresses, the way her pupils dilate whenever she lays her eyes on you... Everything.

Unfortunately, Hyun-ju doesn't see herself that way. She has a tendency of dismissing her own beauty. No matter the amount of time you're telling her she's the most divine woman you've ever met, she won't believe it. Not that she thinks you'd lie to her, but she just won't allow herself to feel like that.

You absolutely love taking photos of her, but she doesn't like it as much. She will let you take 1 or 2 photos here and there because she knows how happy it makes you, but soon enough she'll hide her face with her hands, will gently ask you to stop or just turn away.

This makes you so sad, such an unconfident beauty. Sometimes you wish she could see herself the way you see her.

As you take another photo of your lovely girlfriend, she reacts.

— How about you put that camera down for a few seconds? She says that with a light chuckle because she doesn't want to offend you, but you know her too well and can sense she's starting to feel bad again.

— But why?

— Come on... We've talked about it already... She sounds so sad, you can't let her in this state of mind.

— Hey, Hyun-ju, look at me. You grab her hands in yours, caressing them softly. You look gorgeous, this dress compliments your body so well. I know you don't see yourself the way I see you, that truly saddens me. But you also have to know that no matter what happens, you'll always be the most divine goddess I ever laid my eyes on. If you don't want me to take more pictures today, I won't. But I'll keep on staring at the most gorgeous woman this world has known, because that's who you are and I love you.

You can see her blushing a little, she always does when you give her compliments, especially when she's not feeling herself.

— I love you. The way her whole face seems to relax while saying this... You truly are her safe place.

[lvrrgirlll]

Currently thinking about semi-arranged marriage!patrick x wedding planner!reader…

Patrick wasn’t ever really keen on the idea of marriage. He always thought it was something that just wasn’t for him. He still thought that, actually. But his parents didn’t.

He had taken some time off the tour to visit his parents after years of struggling to really get where he wanted to go. Both he and his parents knew why he was really there, though. They had frozen his trust fund.

Long story short, they gave him an ultimatum: either get married and settle down or lose access to the trust fund. And if the couple months he’d gone without the trust fund had taught him anything, it was that he only had one skill in life, and he was barely good enough at that to stay afloat. That’s how he ended up meeting you.

His fiancé, a nice yuppie who his parents had set him up with, had hired you, a wedding planner, to plan the most elaborate wedding money could buy for the two of them. Unfortunately, though, (or fortunately —depending on how you look at it) she was far too busy between wedding dress fittings, long days at the office, regular gym sessions, and shopping outings with her friends to ever actually show up for your meetings. She would always just tell Patrick what she wanted, and he would show up.

So over the months of planning the wedding, you two grew a lot closer than he felt with his own fiancé. After all, he was only marrying her for his trust fund and she was only marrying him because she was scared she was getting too old and decided it was time, no matter who it was with.

You had told yourself that whatever you felt, it would never come to the surface, but you couldn’t help all those little moments when it almost felt like you could be playing your wedding with him. Like when you two were at the cake tasting and he got a little frosting on the corner of his lip and you wiped it off. Anyone would do that though, right? Or when you two were touring venues and didn’t even realize you had started holding hands. It was a mindless thing, of course…

The worst one was when you were sampling different brands and types of champagne. His fiancé had told him to make sure he really tried them all because she only wanted the best. And somewhere in all of the tasting, you two both got a little tipsy. And maybe while you were tipsy you two kissed, which turned into making out in your car. You were both too sober to call it some drunk mistake, but you both called it one anyways.

“So what’s it like being a wedding planner,” he’d asked once, when you two were at a florist looking at different sample arrangements.

“Fun. Y’know, you help plan the happiest day of some people’s lives,” you responded simply.

He chuckled dryly. “Happiest day of their lives, huh…” he repeated under his breath, a sort of bitter, contemplative tone lingering. “And it’s not… lonely?” He’d noticed the lack of a ring on your finger long ago, when you two had first met to start planning.

You froze for a moment, trying to brush off whatever feelings his comment stirred up. “Well… yes. Sometimes.” You cleared your throat, avoiding eye contact with him as you messed with the flowers in front of you. “I mean, of course I hope to plan my own wedding someday, instead of someone else’s.”

When you two leave the florist, onto the next project, Patrick stops you for a moment. He wordlessly fiddles something out of his pocket, a small flower he must’ve taken from inside. He’s tied the stem in a ring. “Here.” Offering a smile, one of pity and longing and a sort of… sorrow, perhaps, he slips the dainty flower ring onto your left hand ring finger. He proceeds walking then.

“C’mon, our wedding’s not gonna plan itself,” he reminds you. But when he says “our wedding” you have to remind yourself he doesn’t mean yours and his. He means his and hers.

[zsakuva]

I'm sure this has been asked, but I had found your stuff recently and absolutely love how the different characters are with each being just as charming as the next. My question is what is the thought/writing process? I am wanting to be better at defining my ocs and characters without falling into the same trope and behaviors the characters have exhibit. Obviously there are different methods for different people, but I'll like to know a little bit of the process for you. Do you have any tips to make the voices distinct and consistent through out a piece of writing?

Thank you!

For me, because I have a proclivity for world-building (meaning I am absolutely obsessed and must know the lore before I do anything), I like to understand the path a character has chosen. Their past experiences and upbringing have a dramatic impact on how they shape their own life, and that informs me of how a character acts, talks, and how they both see and react to the world around them.

I'll use Isaac Rhoades as a brief example (I wrote brief but this is not brief at all, my bad xD).

From the beginning, Isaac was written with a sealed heart and a cold personality. He's an articulate and smart man, a workaholic, but he lives in solitude.

I always ask myself how and why a character is who they are, and what decisions they made/experiences they've had to bring them to this point.

For Isaac, his background paints quite the picture:

Born to loving parents, and his grandfather is a successful private investigator — The early part of his childhood nurtured love and care. His mother in particular showed him what it meant to love unconditionally.

His parents are murdered because of his grandfather's choice — Isaac was taught that even the people you love can hurt you, and that nowhere is a safe space.

Learning under his grandfather — Because of his vast portfolio and cases, Isaac is taught more about the workings of the world, and how to stay cautious. There was no space for fun or games; his only objective was expanding his knowledge in many subjects that his grandfather deemed worthy.

Getting stabbed by the maid — This reinforced the thought of a perpetual threat and the need to stay vigilant. It instilled paranoia in him to trust no one.

University in England and Andrew — Here, he remembers the love of his childhood, but also the threat of losing someone else because of his own decisions, taught by his grandfather.

Learning the reason of his grandfather's decision — Isaac was taught that there is always more to one person, for better or worse, as taught by the maid. Due to this and what he's learnt thus far, Isaac decides to seclude himself so he's never forced to make that kind of choice.

Succeeding his grandfather — Being a private investigator opened his eyes to humanity's extremes: the lengths they would go for their own desires at the detriment of others, and the yearning others had to better the world. His work reminds him of his life experiences, and these beliefs constantly clash.

Isaac is distant and cold at first because his life taught him not to trust anyone—even the unassuming—and he doesn't want to let anyone in; they could either betray him, or he could lose them. And yet, despite that, his mother's teachings managed to peek through when he saw Pickle in the alley, alluding to his true nature. Through Isaac's story, his internal struggle begins to rear: desperately wanting to feel love again, but knowing the cost if he does give in and the inevitable choice he might have to make if he opens his heart again.

Isaac is articulate and smart because of his grandfather's teachings. One can assume he stayed in that house for the rest of his teenage years until he left for university, so the only person he really interacted with was his grandfather. Because of this, he's factual, precise, and seldom makes jokes because mostly every conversation had been connected to work in some form. Small talk is a waste of time, and he doesn't indulge others unless there's a reason for it. He's meticulous with when to speak and when to listen.

Isaac is a workaholic because that is what his life has been shaped to be, also likely influenced by his grandfather. He has money, but continues to work. Why? Perhaps it's because he'd be without purpose otherwise. Or is it because he feels it's his duty to continue in his grandfather's footsteps and find the one thing that matters in the ocean of bullshit?

All of this shapes who Isaac is. It wouldn't make sense for him to have the same disposition as Andrew. Though they are similar in ways (articulation, education, work addiction), they take different forms and stem from the unique experiences they've lived. Where Andrew can engage in small talk (he had a freer childhood, a rebellious and fun twin brother, and more public school education/social interactions), Isaac can't. And though they both carry the weight of their own regrets alone, Andrew chooses to live with what he has, but Isaac chooses to endlessly bear the weight of the world and live up to his grandfather's bravery.

SO. With that being said, a suggestion I can give is to constantly remind yourself who your character is with every decision they make. Is it true to them? Does it make sense for them? But remember, humans are also notoriously contradictive, and one is not the same as another. We experience and react to the same conditions in completely different ways; who you are and what you've been through can determine the outcome.

I hope this has helped in some form of way!

Again I apologise for this monstrous post have fun writing aaaaa-

[oneofthosecrazycatladies]

What are your thoughts on DEI and how it’s implemented outside of the work environment, (school, every commute, etc)? I’d love to hear your opinion on it.

Well, as a disabled queer woman I might be biased here but I think giving minorities better opportunities is a good thing.

Also, as a historian, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that most of our institutions were built explicitly to discriminate against minorities of all kinds. When the Founders were discussing the constitution in the 1780s, Abigail Adams wrote to her husband, John Adams, urging him to include women (she famously said “remember the ladies”) and his response to her was basically oh you’re so funny obviously we can’t include women, don’t be ridiculous. From the 17th to the 19th centuries, numerous laws were passed explicitly to exclude free blacks from society. Don’t get me started on the way disabled people were institutionalized well into the 1980s. Or the actual ethnic cleaning of indigenous peoples.

And…I shouldn’t have to say this but apparently I do…there have never been laws (at least in the US) to oppress white men. Like, that has just never been a thing.

So the US claims to be a society built on the idea that all humans are created equal. But if you’re building your institutions to exclude 99% of people, that’s not equality. Which means, if you want the institutions to become more inclusive, you have to take action to encourage that inclusion.

If you own a store and you say okay only people with red hair can come inside my store and you set up cameras and monitors to make sure only people with red hair are coming into your store, then anyone who doesn’t have red hair just won’t even bother trying because what’s the point. But then one day, you decide, you know what, I change my mind, I want to let brunettes and blondes into my store. Except the brunettes and blondes know that you’ve previously only let in redheads so why should they bother coming to you now? So in order to get more blondes and brunettes you have to go out and find blondes and brunettes and say hey I’ll let you into my store now it’s fine.

That’s what DEI is. It’s realizing that the institutions were built to be unfair and trying to make them more fair, but also realizing that the people who have been shut out of these institutions need to be assured that they won’t be shut out anymore.

One problem that can happen when you start to free historically oppressed people is that sometimes people can over-correct and take it too far in the other direction. But the people who have over-corrected with DEI are largely in the minority.

But now, white supremacists, who just fundamentally don’t believe that any kind of diversity is ever a good thing, are trying to over-correct the over-correct and claim that DEI is somehow white oppression.

You asked my thoughts on DEI? Well, long story short, it’s hard for me to not think of it as an overall net positive. To give you a more personal example, I’m legally blind. I am not physically capable of reading a regular print paperback book like sighted people can. Does that make me stupid? No. I have a medical condition beyond my control and all I need is some special equipment and I can read all y’all under the table. I’m able to get that special equipment because of DEI initiatives.

Just because there are a few over-correcting bad apples doesn’t make the entire tree rotten.

“DEI” has become this weird buzzword, but let’s not forget that it’s actually not a word, it’s an acronym. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.

Diversity. Would you rather eat the same thing for every meal every single day for the rest of your life? Or do you like to switch it up every now and then and eat something different? Yeah? You like a little diversity in your diet?

Equity. Do you like pie? You know when someone makes a pie and they’re cutting it up to serve and everyone else gets a massive slice and you just get a little sliver. That’s not fair right! You should all get equal amounts of pie!

Inclusion. We all like chili don’t we? But chili without beans is just an abomination. You gotta include those beans or else it’s not really chili is it?

That’s my thoughts on DEI.

[drdemonprince]

hi! i just wanted to say that as a very traumatised autistic person, your piece An Autistic Social Butterfly's Guide to Making Friends has brought me close to tears. i have faced ostracism my whole life, from early childhood, when my parents were physically abusive, to primary school age, where i was regularly bullied and isolated, to high school where i started dealing with heavy mental health issues as a result of continued ostracism, including suicidality, depression and anxiety. my whole life i’ve been told that whatever i was facing was something of my own creation, and despite my autism diagnosis at 13, my parents never ceased this mantra. when in high school i met a group of queer neurodivergent people at a very vulnerable time in my life (i had just been unceremoniously removed from my turbulent friend group and would spend days at a time at school not speaking to anyone) i immediately decided to shed my more outspoken personality that would complain if someone did something i didn’t like, and allowed these people to cross my boundaries again and again, because to have friends, even if they were awful to me and made me feel like a burden for struggling, was better than being alone again. very long story short, 5 years after meeting them, i completely cut them off in 2024, but as they were my only point of social connection, i found myself becoming far more of a hermit than i ever wanted. but because of my history of constantly being harmed by people i met, i decided that friendship wasn’t worth it and that i didn’t want to get to know people if this was how i was going to be treated over and over again. i’ve been ignoring my own social needs for over half a year, trying to heal from the immense amount of pain caused by being ignored by my ‘friends’ whenever i clearly stated that i needed attention, i needed help that wasn’t going to end with me in the psychiatric ward (i have been forcibly incarcerated in the psychiatric ward and drugged upwards of 10 times). but your article, and my own self exploration with being a trans ? who likes to wear dresses and also loves being hairy and giving head to men is slowly reminding me that i can find people i care about again and who care about me, and your article has given me practical steps to do so. the realisation that i don’t have to orgasm to enjoy sex, or receive mutual physical stimulation from my partner has taken a burden off of my shoulders that i didn’t know was there. from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

wow thank you Anon. I have been through the ringer too and I understand those waves of isolating to protect oneself after having been subsumed by friend groups in the past and how impossible it can feel at times that youll ever find people you can really be open and yourself with. but they are there. oh my god are all the freaks out there each one a unique baffling configuration and you can find them and connect to them and build something for yourself from all those relationships and do your own thing and it can be great.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Happy 28th! Here are the fics I read in the last two months:

If you stay | kingofthefridaynight | [66k] “I might not look it, but I do know what hard work means.” Looking at him, Louis couldn’t help but wonder how in the world he would, with his soft curls, preppy hands, and the beautiful dress around his waist. Nothing about Harry screamed hard work; everything about him screamed sheltered, rich, and worst of all, spoiled. Just as he was about to leave, Louis couldn’t help but say, “Fine, but I won’t teach you to ride in a dress.” “You’d be surprised how well I ride in dresses,” Harry said with a smirk. Or, the one where Harry stays at Louis' ranch to escape the spotlight, there are chickens on the loose, disastrous riding lessons, baby lambs to play with, and a whole lot of falling in love.

Rogue omega | Loretheloner | [38k] Written for prompt 6 of the 1DAngstFest 2025: Louis is a rogue on the run from his birth pack, who want to kill him because he's a male omega. He ends up in the Styles pack's territory, trying to get away from his hunters. But it's too late--the alphas surround the exhausted omega and attack him. The last thing he sees, before he passes out, is a huge black wolf with green eyes. What a sight to die to. A story about prejudice, prophecies, and rejection. Also a story about kindness, resilience and soulmates.

Zero Complications | galactic_larry | [8k] Harry and Louis have only been on two dates so far, but things seem to be going great between the two of them. What happens when the third date ruins everything?

Too Young | jaerie | [18k] “Do you think it hurts to get a bond mark?” Louis asked one day. Harry shrugged. “We could bite each other to see what it feels like?” “Yeah, I want to know,” Louis nodded as he pushed himself back and forth on the swing just enough that his feet never left the ground. “Do you?” Or accidentally bonded as 8 and 10 year olds, Louis starts resenting Harry once they were old enough for him to realize what had been taken away from him and now they're roommates who fuck out of obligation

no matter where you are (no matter how far) | ceaseandexist | [35k] "You kind of have to be a little bit dumb to decide to climb Everest, I think,” Harry says. “Like at some point you should probably say to yourself, ‘Hey, this is really dangerous and expensive and stuff, and maybe I should just, like, become an architect or something.’” Louis cocks an eyebrow. “An architect, Haz? Is that your secret dream? You want to build --” “Shh,” Harry says, holding a finger up to Louis’s lips. “I’m trying to make a point. Just that, like, at some point, we all make a stupid choice to put our lives in danger, but that’s just part of why climbing this mountain is such an accomplishment, right? Because most people aren’t dumb enough to try.” Or: An Everest AU where Louis sets out to climb the tallest mountain on the world and meets a curly-haired guy named Harry who worms his way into Louis's life. It's not long before reaching the summit becomes the least of Louis's worries.

Tattoos and Temptations | refusethyname | [67k] “Love,” he drawled, the word dripping with sinful allure, “I’ve got tattoos that are older than you,” he murmured, his voice a rough whisper, his breath warm against Harry’s lips. Harry tilted his head, a teasing smirk of his own tugging at his mouth despite the rapid beat of his heart. “What can I say, I like experienced men.” Louis chuckled low in his throat, a sound that sent heat rushing through Harry’s veins. “Cheeky little thing, aren’t you?” he murmured, his hand sliding up Harry’s back to tangle in his curls. He tugged lightly, just enough to tip Harry’s head back and expose more of his neck. “You’re the one winding me up.”

Over-the-Ocean Love | blessin_n_curse | [30k] Harry is a single omega who has dedicated his life to teaching psychology at Oxford University. Louis is an alpha who left his life behind when it fell apart, only to start a new one with his daughter in rural Italy, where they both run a B&B. Prompt: Harry needs a change - a change of scenery and a change of luck. Ditching his place and items, he books an airbnb of his dreams for 3 months while he figures himself out. Louis owns the airbnb and tries to be respectful, but he can’t ignore the amazing omega that has come into his life so randomly. Especially when they start to chat in the evenings on the back patio, watching the sunset. Maybe the change Harry needed is right in front of him.

Your Fingers Read Me Like A Headline | paradise_is_getting_closer | [3.5k] Harry is very picky when it comes to people in his inner circle. Especially for jobs that are very...hands-on, so to speak. That's why he's more than a little surprised when his PA informs him they've found the perfect person, only shortly after the job advertisement was placed. or The one where Louis has a surprising mix of qualifying features for a job that's close to where Harry's heart is. Or maybe where he's hardest?

Touch Me (Like Nobody Else Does) | goldensweetmemory | [11k] Prompt: A/B/O - strangers snowed in for an extended period of time and the omega starts to get touch-deprivation xx The alpha’s grin returned tenfold, deep dimples popping into his cheeks. Holy shit, he has dimples. “No, I don’t mind at all. I know where to find you when I need it back,” he said with a chuckle before leaning back into his seat. Louis let out a small giggle before nodding. “I’ll be sure it gets returned to you…?” He trailed off, one eyebrow raised at the other man. “Harry,” he replied, amusement still shining in his eyes. “And you are?” “Louis,” the omega responded before leaning back into his seat averting his eyes once again. “Thank you, really, for the charger. You’re a lifesaver. I’m not sure how I would’ve made it through without my Netflix.”

can't even think straight | shimmeringevil | [34k] His eyes are blue. Sharp cheekbones, long eyelashes and a doll-like face, pretty features contrastingly set in such arrogant disdain. Harry can’t stop staring at him. “Straight,” he blurts out when his eyes drop to the man’s mouth. “I’m straight.” “Thank you for sharing,” the waiter says dryly. The captivating movements of his lips form an even more captivating voice. “Y’alright if I grab your wallet for you, or is there anything else you’d like to get off your chest?” “No, um—no. Sorry. I mean, thank you. Thank you and sorry.” — OR — Harry is definitely straight, even if no one seems to believe him when he tells them. Things change when he meets a pretty stranger who patiently waits for him to figure it all out.

Always Lou | Darling28 | [101k] Ten years have passed since Harry and Louis lost sight of each other. As teenagers, they wrote letters to their future selves via 'FutureMe' - filled with dreams and secret hopes. But life led them down different paths - Louis is about to get married to his girlfriend, while Harry has never been able to forget his deep feelings for Louis over the years. When their paths cross again, the two are confronted with their past and their unspoken feelings. While Louis rediscovers his own identity and sexuality, Harry lovingly stands by his side. Together they have to find out if what they once shared as childs & teenagers could be the key to their future together.

from underneath your glow | outropeace | [53k] With years of bitter experience and a tuition debt that would outlast three generations, Louis did what anyone in his position would; he developed an almost flawless five-step system for scamming alphas. Step One: Find the target. The scummier the alpha, the better. Step Two: Find the target’s soulmate mark. This part could take either a day or sometimes months of stalking every single social media the target have. Patience is key. Step Three: After learning about their hobbies and activities, mold your personality to the target. There’s nothing more irresistible to alphas than to date their mirror. Step Four (and the most important one): Plan the exit route. This will mostly depend on the target. There are alphas who’d pay to make a soulmate disappear from their lives forever, but some took a little more work. The trick? Simple, break their little fantasy. Show them traits they wouldn’t stand. If they like red, suddenly you are all about blue. If they like going out, you start craving nights in. Speak your mind freely—honestly, they hate that. Becoming clingy or basically having any type of need outside theirs also helps a lot. Step Five: Disappear.

[thedeskofaltoclef]

autisum infodump about victor I'm bored as fuck and I need to character design somthing for my portfolio or I will simultaneously implode and explode

Victor/Viktor depending on how I feel like spelling it at the time is a homebrew element that I have added to Alto Clef. Victor's name comes from his stand in 'Violence In Clef' that I used as a name during the outline phase and just eventually became Vic which became Victor/Viktor (because Ks are edgy)

The Deskverse follows the D.I.D. cannon representing Agent Ukulele and Alto Clef as alters of Francis.

With some assistance of some friends I have met who have D.I.D. I worked on my own alter to add to the character.

It was explained to me that there or roles that some alters can take which is how I found out about the 'protector' role. This, i believe, is represented via Francis creating Clef. The protector of Francis and Ukulele.

To go into better detail here is some other lore that leads up to it.

In 4231 Meri is originally held at the foundation and to close the plot hole with her escaping along with Ukulele and Francis being active at the time of Cornwall I created the lore that they can split into two people if need be. They are reality benders after all. The original goal of the Deskverse was to make a complete timeline of events and patch up any holes that could stop creating a full cannon inside a world of no cannon. Granted I decided to take another road and just go multiverse because its easier. The most Alto Clef thing you can do is say FUCK YOUR 'THERE IS NO CANNON'! EVERYTHING IS CANNON NOW!

Though I digress.

Ukulele was originally the protector of Francis and after Francis was taken in to the foundation as a SCP and being tested he was able to split himself again and get less-than-a-day-old-meri to the nuns VIA Ukulele while he stayed to be a distraction.

At this time Francis was alone again, for the first time in a long time, and with that a new alter began to form. Tough was good but he had lost so much. He cant lose anymore. He needs to be tough, vile, disgusting. He needs to be everything he hates. He needs to be everything everyone else hates and thus Alto Clef was born.

As time goes on in the Deskverse Ukeulele and Francis refused to front. Spoiler reasons. However one day I was thinking, "Who protects the protector?" and it really kept with me. What would Alto Clef, from my experiences with the character, create to protect him?

This had me thinking of every video, 'explained', off site story or suggestion where Clef is damn near always depicted as a violent blood thirsty monster. He only exists to kill! SPOOOOOKY He only hates and fights... SCAAAARRRYYYYY. And as anyone who is an actual fan would know that really isnt the case. The unfortunate amount of knowledge I have on the character I can also say that isnt the case.... So I made that him.

Victor is pure violence. Victor is that version of Clef that you see laughing and cackling as he does go on a balls to the walls murder spree. Victor's job is survival of the system and when every alter has had their whole life shown to them that 'Violence is the answer' Victor is what you get. He is feral. He is Primal.

Mentally he's kinda like Hulk. Hes there, hes present, but hes angry. He doesn't think. He is the definition of fight or flight. For his intelligence I like to equate it to a more advanced cave man. He growls, he grunts, he snarls and drools. He is just a monster.

A thing with me, though, is when I make a character I need to give them flaws. I hate power scalers and its hard to say that when you are this closely connected to a character that is the definition of a Mary-sue. Oh, this problem cant be fixed? Throw a clef at it. Hes basically SCP duct-tape for writers block. One of these flaws is when in this state he doesn't recognize people to well. He can only focus on one task at a time and like I said earlier he is only there during 'fight or flight'. It basically has to take Clef losing absolute control for Victor to come out. With that, however, part of Victors flaws is that he has no clue who Meri is. This goes back to the intelligence. His job is to kill the thing or escape the thing. Thats it. That is all he is. Meri is not part of that. Meri does not matter to him. Yes, this does come up in one of my tales.

Within the Deskverse I use Heterochromia to depict each alter. The Blue eye is a representation of Francis, the hazel eye is Ukulele, the green eye is Clef. Three men active in one body all represented. They are all always active and always communicating with each other.

little lore bonus. Tears only ever come out of his blue eye for some reason. *internet shrug*

Vic on the other hand, well, hes not represented by an iris. He is represented by busted blood vessels in the whites of the eye. He is a much stronger presence than the other two and by, for a lack of terms, letting him out he takes full control. The blood vessels in all three eyes is how I represent that.

The elder has his own eye pattern as well but no one ever asks about him.

----

and after that dash was like 30 minuets because I got distracted and probably left stuff out. So, yeah, thats a chunk of Vic. Hes a feral animal that is there to preserve the system by any means nessacary. He likes murder, he likes blood, hes what the offsite-offsite thinks clef is.

Again, sorry, I got distracted and lost my flow hahaha

[sieglinde-freud]

oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng