#this is why writers stop writing you absolute moron

[lizpaige]

private your bookmarks you idiot

[luverz-exe]

Hey, I was wondering if maybe you could do yandere headcanons for The Riddler from arkahm city? I rarley see anything about the arkahm games. However, If not it's fine, have a nice day or night!

Yandere Arkham City! Riddler Headcanons

...Uh, hi. I'm back. sorry for the prolonged hiatus, I've just been...dealing with a lot at the moment. I'm glad to be back. I'm not gonna be making a full blown post for it, so imma just say my piece here. Don't worry Anon, I'm gonna get to your request soon- just wanna talk a little bit. Requests will be off for awhile, how long, I'm not sure. Going to finish the requests I can, I won't force myself to do them all- because if I can't write it, then I realize I'm not obligated to. A reason that I quit was because I was so overwhelmed with stuff. But that was any of your faults! I am absolutely astounded that I have so much support! Just that sometimes I need to realize that I can't do everything there is out there, because I'm still an amateur writer, there's a lot I can't do and even more that I have yet to get good at. Sorry for rambling, here's your request Anon!!

Slightly suggestive near the end, oopsie doopsie guys. Oh yeah, and he says some really mean words, guys- an absolute shocker 🤯

Here's the thing when it comes to Edward. He's an asshole- a smug, insensitive asshole. Of course, we all know this by now. But this snarky self-absorbed piece of shit is slowly starting to decay, inside out. His mental state fluctuates, and it really is straining on your "relationship". He believes in more practicality, you're here to be his assistant, and he's here to protect your primitive brain (though, less than your peers, just enough for him to take you under his wing and truly try and help you flourish) from combusting. He can make you smarter, you know. You have so much potential, enough to be second best...Just watch, and learn. It's not like you'll have a choice.

Yeah...The first few weeks-months will be tenuous- it's likely you didn't join this relationship of your own volition. And even if you somehow did, it's not going to be any better. He's making you go no contact with the outside world. While you call it a fucked up form of house arrest, he prefers to call it a more civilized form of rehabilitation. Sorry, not sorry- those idiotic, moronic, brain-dead louts would taint you again. No wonder you're so much dumber than him, all your life you've been surrounded by bad influences (so was he, but he's a prodigy, and you're just smarter than average- it's different). You have to stay away from them because any smarts he's been giving you might be sucked up by those braindead leeches!

Good news though- free range of his living space (if you can even call it that)! While he's still keeping his appearance semi-clean, his space hasn't, as he's slowly beginning his descent into the Arkham Knight version. But hey, how about you be a good helper and pick some stuff up- keep you occupied short-term. Because, you try and talk to him, it's going to be a lot longer- and you might want to take notes because he is going to test your knowledge on it later.

"Why are you bothering me? ..Cleaning? No, no, you stop that. If you're going to keep your mind occupied, then I recommend you grab the 11mm crowfoot wrench and get over here." When you didn't move, be it you didn't know where he stored those or a genuine lack of knowledge about wrenches, he peered up from his work. "..What, can't even do that?" He signed, furrowing his brow, but prevented himself from badmouthing further. It wasn't their fault for having an idiot society teach them about these things. "..Just- grab the flashlight, over there on the counter, I'll get it myself- and you better pay attention. This mistake will not be made more than once, I assure you of it."

Pity is a common occurrence, but his sympathy isn't. Oh, your poor pitiful shrunken brain, rotting away from all the bad people in your life. But you should've taken one quick look at him, realized he was your intellectual superior and asked for him to bring your brain to a normal size and to ditch everyone else in your life. That's your fault.

Now, it isn't all bad! Look on the bright side, learning is now your full time job- with him as your teacher (in a non-sexual way, because god-damnit if you think you can get out of learning about the proper ways to build one of his puzzles by giving him a handjob (you can, and probably should to avoid what would be considered a 5 hour lecture over the course of the day)). He enjoys teaching you all that he knows, and he expects you to share that enthusiasm, especially when he talks about batman. When he starts talking about the flying rat that plagues his life, you better listen. You're going to be his assistant someday with all of this 'killing Batman' thing, so you better hop on that train early.

While he does call you an idiot, he's just self-projecting his hatred of Batman (and himself) onto you. No, it's not your fault- it's 100% his own and he won't apologize or acknowledge it in a meaningful way. It slowly dissipates the more your 'nasty' attitude does, but even then it never fully disappears. Depends on the day. He'll never get better, though, not fully. And once you see how bad he becomes in Arkham Knight, you'll realize this isn't as low as he can go.

"You idiot! Can't you do something right? When I talk, you listen! Why do I even keep you around?! You're an absolute buffoon, you know that?...Of course you don't, you see? If you were with me sooner, you wouldn't be like this. We'll get you to the intelligence level you should be, don't you worry, but clearly we're going to need to change tactics if I'm going to get it through that thick skull of yours."

[autumn-foxfire]

Alternative title for this rant: Gosho is a misogynistic writer and I am going to scream.

Time for the case where someone changes their face to Shinichi's! I have mixed feelings about this case. I do enjoy it but the romance aspect of it is once again really, really bad, but I'll be getting into it when it happens.

...And it's already time for me to complain. Can they just inform Ran about the aspects around the case instead of leaving her in the dark? It's so shitty of Heiji to constantly get Ran's hopes up about Shinichi showing up when he KNOWS he can't. This has happened so many times now and I hate it, especially when he's the one who is all for Ran knowing so why taunt the duo like this?!

Okay but will the opening address the symbolism they put in it, with Ran putting the glasses back on Shinichi because to her he's Conan, her little brother, not Shinichi her terrible, gaslighting, absent love interest? It won't but I think it's pretty important symbolism, as this also happens in this case though Gosho tries to spin it as something romantic in nature instead when it's really, really not.

It's a miracle Shinichi survived this case, considering he transformed in water. The transformation is already painful for him, and now he has to worry about not drowing too, while his throat is still extremely sore from the cold he has which would make it even more painful.

I know this isn't Shinichi but he looks like him and he looks good in these clothes.

"Ran cares more about the 7-year-old boy in her care who has gone missing than her love interest who suddenly appeared out of nowhere after a long time of avoiding her so that must mean something about this Shinichi!" It means that Ran is a good person who cares a lot about her little brother who she has been helping raise and I fucking hate this plot with a passion because it's so goddamn stupid T-T

Poor Shinichi, though, everyone hates him because of he wanted to protect the child of the mayor from the truth about the reason for the murder suicide.

I'm going to say it, Ran has no reason to be suspicious of this version of Shinichi and it speaks very badly about her character that the moment he doesn't behave how SHE wants him to behave, she writes him off <.<

Shinichi should have been a drama student as well, he did not need to put on the wig but he did because he needed to fit the theme of the monster in the forest.

Is it bad I don't find the reporter lady to be that bad? Yeah, she's a bit annoying but she's only trying to find the truth about the situation that Shinichi purposely kept hidden.

Ran: Should I be upset that Shinichi has lost his memory?

Kazuha: Of course you should be! I would be!

Ran: I don't feel anything, though.

Gosho a moron: Because it's not Shinichi and she somehow knows even though she shouldn't but I'm just making bullshit excuses as to why she does!

Me an intellectual (delusional): It's because she doesn't love Shinichi.

Heiji is a true bro, though. He saw his boy has stabbed someone, still believes he's innocent and goes out of his way to protect him.

Kogoro, Kazuha and Ran are so bad at lying T-T

And Gosho loves to make Ran an absolute idiot because he has no respect for her at all <3

Ran: Please make his boy the real Shinichi, the person I believe him to be!

Me: Ran do you even like Shinichi at all. Or do you just like the version of him you've made in your head?

We don't speak enough about Shinichi's talent at acrobatics as well. We see it often with Conan but not as much as Shinichi but he was impressive jumping from tree to tree.

Oh this case also reminds me of how much of a doormat Ran is due to Gosho. "Shinichi, don't go!" CHASE HIM RAN. INSTEAD OF ASKING HIM TO STOP BEING WHO HE IS, FOLLOW HIM YOU ABSOLUTE MORON!

Why can't he just give Ran's character basic fucking respect?!

And Heiji uses logic to come to the right conclusion, a curtesy that he can't be bothered to give to Ran because Gosho has absolutely no respect for his women characters and I'm tired of pretending he doesn't <3

This is why I am so angry about the canon ships. They're incredibly misogynistic in nature and this fandom turns a blind eye to it and pretends that people like me who also have other ships for the characters just believe so because we ship something else. I have NEVER cared about canon so Shinichi and Ran being canon does not bother me, what does bother me is how disgusting the writing behind the canon ship is.

Shinichi is crying so that must mean he isn't her Shinichi because Ran's Shinichi is a "macho man" who doesn't believe in emotion. I. Hate. This. Plot. Go fuck yourself Gosho.

I am angry. I am so goddamn angry. I am going to write Shinichi crying in front of Ran and I am going to make her have normal emotions about it because fuck that "this isn't Shinichi because he's crying" bullshit Gosho wrote the misogynist toxic masculinity prick of writer.

This isn't even the worst case for the canon ship. The worst one is the London one T-T

AND AGAIN SHINICHI HAS NO RESPECT FOR RAN TELLING HER TO STAND BACK WHEN SHE IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS SELF DEFENCE. FUCK.

Heiji: Ran has no interest in Shinichi when he lost his memories so that must mean that it wasn't him.

Me: I am going to punch someone.

This poor guy though... All of this happened because he was too in shock to hear the truth.

I really don't know how everyone isn't terrified when Shinichi starts to bend over in agony. Also we should discuss how he always grabs at his heart, you can't tell me it doesn't put a lot of stress on that organ.

Shinichi: If I turn back into Conan in front of Ran-

Me: What? What will happen? Will she be pissed off you've lied to her constantly? Made her reveal secrets about herself to her brother that she never intented for you to hear? That you've seen her in a state of undress so often? That you gaslit her constantly about your identity and don't trust her at all? So romantic.

Ran just isn't all that concerned that Shinichi let out such a terrible scream of pain. Just shouting his name casually like it's normal when if I was in her situation and my boyfriend did something like that I would rush to him immediately.

So romantic <3

Ran he's seen much more than what you wanted him to see. Kogoro, I don't like you most of the time but please do give him a judo throw.

Oh Shinichi is shorter than Heiji, or at least he was in that shot.

She actually chased after Shinichi for a change. What a surprise :o

And this isn't romantic, Gosho. It's Ran once again being told to stop chasing Shinichi and her being a doormat and backing down because he told her to be so :p Also I've said it before and I'll say it again, it is incredibly cruel of Shinichi to make Ran wait without telling her the truth. A comedy show did this plot better than Gosho does and it's so embarrassing. The man gave up on his wife because he didn't want her to wait indefinitely for him as he didn't know when he would return. Also she was completely aware of the situation he was in and she made her own decision of whether she actually wanted to wait for him. Meanwhile Shinichi just strings Ran along with false promises because she is his possession and only he is allowed to have her.

Kazuha: Lets go!

Ran: But Shinichi told me to wait! I'm a doormat!

Kazuha: No you're fucking not.

Kazuha has more respect for Ran than Ran has for herself. Typical.

I really don't get the framing to make Ran a nuisance to Shinichi and his secret. I don't get why his lack of trust in her and respect for her is considering romantic. I don't understand how people enjoy this ship in canon. Fanon I can understand, but people actually defend the canon for some reasons I'll never understand.

This is the only romantic thing Shinichi has done for Ran, not letting go of her hand because she said she didn't want to. That's it. And I think it's terrible and Ran deserves so much better.

[mell0bee]

YESSSSSSSSS WRITING TAG TIMEEEEE EHEHHEHEHEHHEHEEEE

1, 5, 12, 16, 19, and 20

P.S: check more of your asks!!!! >:3

YIPEEE thanks kiki sorry it took me a bit to do this

1- the last sentence you wrote

“Oh my god, her voice must have risen like, three octaves when you smiled at her. “

some luz dialogue from luz & hunter’s guide, talking about willow to hunter, lmao

5- first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unfinished wip

“The gods of the pantheon seem to have their doubts, not seeing the greatness his uncle does in him.”

wow i had to pull this one from the VAULTS. i don’t actually have any current wip drafts (just a ton of loosely planned ideas) so this one is from like 2022. it’s an owl house mythology au loosely based off of hades (the video game) in which the golden guard gets reincarnated over and over and tries to escape. i like the concept but have no idea what the plot would be so on the shelf it will sit until i figure that out

12- a trope you’re really into right now

hmmmm not really a fanfic trope but ive been thinking a lot about crouching moron, hidden badass. specifically the variant where a character is deliberately hiding how badass they actually are by acting like a moron, at least partially. invoking this trope is like, how to make that character my favorite character 101.

as for fanfic tropes. uh. a favorite of mine that never gets old is childhood friends to enemies to friends to lovers. so many of the ships that have been giving me brain worms throughout the last 5 or so years fall in this category. *cough* sashanne *cough* narumitsu *cough COUGH* catradora. it’s the layer of being previously childhood friends and having that past pure and unconditional friendship. and then having that all torn apart and then rebuilt again. S-tier drama.

16- favorite place to write

99% of my writing is done in my bed bc im paranoid that if i wrote at my desk my parents would be able to see because they tend to randomly barge into my room. when im at college i tend to write a lot less but at least i can do it at my desk lmao

19- the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

for ‘the girl, the cat, and the black hole calamity’ i went down quite the rabbit hole of archaic and modern physics concepts like entropy, black holes & atomic decay. it was very fun and absolutely none of it ended up in the fic because i was like. why would 13yo anne care about this nerdy physics stuff lmao

i also have researched a lot (A LOT) of archetypal literature, historical figures, jungian psych, & various myths (specifically irish myth) which is on paper for the persona 5 swap au fic that im never gonna write buuuuut mostly was out of my own curiosity. when i was first learning how to write i read up on archetypical literature and campbell and stuff quite a bit so it was very fun to revisit. also this swap au lives in my brain rent-free. it would theoretically be a longfic covering the events of the entire game but i can’t do that. but im gonna have to do SOMETHING with it considering the sheer amount of effort ive put into the planning and reworking all of the main cast’s personas to the point where im pretty sure ive put more thought into my picks than the original p5 writers lmao

20- in what year did you publish your first fic?

cannot be bothered to find the exact year but i know i was 13 so probably 2016 or 2017. yknow what’s funny is i spent most of middle and high school thinking that when i got to college i’d stop writing fic and doing fandom stuff in general and yet here i am, going into my senior year of college, still on the same fandom clownery that i was 8 years ago. lmao.

[thestrangestthing89]

The way that people talk about the Duffer's sometimes is rude af. I'm not claiming they are perfect writers, but some of you need to realize that just because this process is collaborative doesn't mean they are morons. They came up with this idea and are writing most of it and are in charge of it. If you're watching their show you clearly like their work so show some respect. If you don't like the show why are you here?

You can really tell that some of you were the shitty group project member. You're supposed to work collaboratively with people. It should not just be on them to do all of the work. It's part of what makes the show so successful. They listen to other peoples ideas instead of acting dictatorial about it. It doesn't mean they suck at their job. And just because you don't understand a plot point doesn't mean they didn't write it well. It means you don't get it. It's you.

Edit: And just because they aren't on social media documenting every move they make for you to approve/disapprove of, doesn't mean they aren't supporting the strike. Calm the fuck down and stop passing judgement. There are very likely a lot of legal reasons why they haven't said anything and some people are feeling morally superior for absolutely no reason. You don't know what's going on behind the scenes. You don't know them. Don't make assumptions. The most judgmental people are very likely doing nothing to support this strike but reblogging posts and have no right to act like they know better.

[forawkwardgirlsonly]

I rarely comment on takes I dont agree on but yours is so bad I need to say smth... I am SOOOOOOOOO so glad we have show runners and writers who get what Vampire Chronicles are about. if we had someone who thinks like you we would get yet another modern day moronic stupid teen vapid CW show. you want simpler things and generic good guys bad guys? go watch your Twilight and Vampire Diaries. Leave Vampire Chronicles to those who appreciate more nuanced writing and multifaceted characters in a great gothic horror. clearly you dont know how to appreciate it. and no one is building up characters to the detriment of others. they all have different faces. if you took a step back and stop winging because your fave is not absolute saint you would see that. Louis can still be heart of the show, with all his good and bad. he's an amazing character. you just can't handle it. and no one is building up Armand wait till the season ends Armand has done worse shit than Louis ever has lol... it's just your limited brain that has to constantly jump between black and white and can't understand gray... so yes pls.. stick to Twilight!

"wait till the season ends Armand has done worse shit than Louis ever has" Then why is the show trying to protect him so much right now. And btw, I know exactly what Armand does in the books.

"go watch your Twilight and Vampire Diaries. Leave Vampire Chronicles to those who appreciate more nuanced writing"

These CW stories you look down upon (Gilmore Girls, Supernatural, One Tree Hill) lasted several seasons. And Twilight is a billion dollar franchise. So I guess they did alright in my book...while we need to pray that IWTV gets a season 3.

"so glad we have show runners and writers who get what Vampire Chronicles are about."

The writers are so good, that the ratings are down and we can't seem to maintain the audience that we had in the first episode of this season.

[thunderheadfred]

❄️Todoroki HC's🔥

Aged-up pro hero Shouto. NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - -

General

Might as well be tied with Bakugou for the #1 pro hero spot; they seem to pass the crown back and forth every other year. Everyone knows about their intense frenemies uber-rivalry. Well. Everyone but Shouto.

He's asked to speak at a lot of charity events. If he has time to prepare (and hire a speech writer) he is capable of stirring crowds to standing ovations. But if caught unawares... he gets cornered into hilarious on-the-spot interviews. He's been memed. Mercilessly.

He's an OP character, but unfortunately he rolled -500 in fashion sense. Eventually he wises up and hires a stylist. When he finally cuts his hair a slightly different and even more flattering way, it's a national event. People faint in the street.

Does god-awful sleight-of-hand magic tricks when he meets young fans, even though nobody asked him to. The second-hand embarrassment is palpable. But he keeps doing it. God, why does he keep doing it?

Has hovering arm syndrome in every fan photo.

Super into pop music. Not a fan of any particular group or artist, couldn't tell you the name of a single song. But every time he turns up the volume on the radio it's like... really? THIS? Probably pumps that shit through his hero agency to keep up morale. Has no idea what you mean when you tell him his music taste doesn't match his personality.

Similarly, he enjoys brainless romantic comedies and old silent movies. Doesn't laugh at jokes but loses it over physical comedy. Thinks Buster Keaton and Harold Lloyd are the funniest people who ever walked the earth.

He's long and limber. Runs practically a hundred miles every day just to "relax." Doesn't even get sweaty doing it. A filthy yoga addict. He'll probably live to be 200 years old.

He can regulate his body temperature for quirk use but in everyday life he's always half a degree outside the Goldilocks zone. It drives him quietly insane; he has an epic love-hate relationship with his thermostat.

Has a therapy animal pet. Doesn't matter if it's a dog or a cat or a bird or an iguana or a teeny tiny rodent. It's the best-behaved animal in the country and speaks more languages than you. It has its own room and an instagram account with millions of followers.

Lives in a traditional Japanese estate that doubles as a national treasure. Probably has government-appointed snipers at the gate, and he's just like, "don't worry about it." You are afraid to touch anything. Fuck, don't even look at anything, just to be safe.

Has an outstanding personal chef who only gets to cook five things unless (thank fuck!!) company comes over. Impossibly picky eater. He rotates between a few "safe" foods and suspiciously side-eyes everything else. If you cook something unfamiliar for him it will be the most awkward meal of your life, because he'd never tell you he doesn't like it. But oh lord, just look at his face.

This clashes directly with his love of traveling. Frequently uses his hero earnings to visit exotic foreign locales over long weekends... but rarely tries the food.

- - -

Dating

A grey-ace demisexual disaster. You could count the number of people he's been attracted to on one hand. He falls madly in love every time and always gets his heart smashed to pieces when his crush can't magically intuit the meaning of his frigid longing glances and generically courteous romantic gestures.

Which is stupid, because he gets propositioned constantly. He can't walk out the door without being flirted with. People keep slipping him their phone numbers and he always directs them to his agency like a moron. It's a good thing he will never understand how attractive he is because that's the only thing keeping him from total world domination.

Conventional attractiveness does not compute. Shouto doesn't have a type, doesn't care that he's an eleven whilst you are merely mortal. He will fall for your personality above all else.

Probably falls head over heels because your schedules overlap in a completely ordinary way and he witnesses you doing something endearing or brave or most likely: utterly mundane.

Pick a favorite, because you're his favorite coworker, or his favorite barista, or his favorite random bystander in line at the grocery store. You made him smile once; then he spent the next three months daydreaming about your future together before you accidentally stomped on his foot, initiating your first real conversation.

He's big on healthy communication. HUGE. He goes to therapy and it shows. Will talk through literally everything to the point of delirium. Sometimes his dedication to resolving every issue right away can get overwhelming; sometimes you just need some frickin time alone. But it pays off, because the two of you have practically never have a "real fight." There's just no way for bad vibes to fester.

STILL, his family wasn't exactly... erm... verbally or emotionally supportive, shall we say. For that reason, he might not give you all the compliments you deserve, because it simply doesn't occur to him to do so. He assumes you know how he feels. If you're self-conscious or insecure in the relationship, it might take him a while to notice. But when he figures it out (or even better, when you tell him directly) he will make it up to you with enthusiasm.

Will take you on lavish dates. Spoils you rotten without actually intending to. He's clueless about money. If you wanted a sugar daddy, you just hit the fucking jackpot. But if the word valet makes you uncomfortable, perhaps suggest some romantic picnics instead. He can still go all out with the food and five-star location without making you see cartoon dollar signs.

Chronic Insomniac. Stays up too late watching YouTube every night. His viewing history is an incomprehensible blur of k-pop music videos, serial killer icebergs, and super girly crafty ASMR channels. When he's watching a video, he is unreachable. Please call back later and try again.

He's disgustingly cute when he sleeps. Doesn't snore, but drools. Sometimes the drool freezes and leaves frost trails on his face in the morning. Still sleeps with the giant stuffed cat pillow that his mother gave him when he was like, zero. He'll inadvertently suffocate you with it, and you will welcome death with open arms because awwwwww!!!!!

The first time he tells you he loves you will be after your traditional Japanese shinto wedding. You won't hear it again until you start a family. Honestly, it's a good thing he doesn't say it often and is always holding you when it happens. It's a knee-buckler.

- - -

Icy-Hot

I don't even need to say it. Shouto is as old-fashioned as they come. You will never open another door or pull out another chair for yourself as long as you live. He will ask before he holds your hand. He will ask before he kisses you. He will stop and check in if you so much as breathe funny during sex.

If you don't orgasm at exactly the same time while staring into one another's eyes, he'll consider himself a failed lover. God forbid you want him to pound you into the futon... cause you are going to have to present that scenario to him in writing first.

Physical intimacy rarely leads to sex. He loves cuddling, craves physical affection. He'll sprawl all over you and turn into goo while you hold him close. He's an amazing, astounding, phenomenally good kisser. And that's... nice and all... but sometimes you have to grab his face and say, "Shouto, I'm horny," before he's like so that's why you're currently dry-humping me?

Even if he isn't technically a virgin the first time (or the millionth time) you sleep together, you won't know the difference. He's a blushing violet. Every. Fucking. Time. This doesn't mean he's a bad lay, oh no. But there's always ten minutes of confused bumbling before he hits his stride and remembers oh yeah, I DO know how to fuck good.

Absolutely silent during sex. Focused. Intense. Sometimes you have to push him a little to make any kind of noise at all, just so you know you're pleasing him (oh don't worry, you are).

His cock is Just Right. Not to big or too small. Perfectly proportioned and symmetrical. Somehow pretty. Like a fucking factory prototype. It truly is not fair.

Gets handsy and restless at night, even if you both have work the next day. Seems to crave sex at three in the morning. You've given him more than one exhausted handjob.

Gets offended if you don't cum. Will go down on you for hours. Of course he uses his quirk to tease you. He doesn't typically use it during actual intercourse, but he's all about foreplay, and he'll use every tool in his arsenal.

His sex drive is completely fucking unpredictable. Sometimes he's all over you, other times he's an icy slab. His line of work leaves him busy and stressed on a near-constant basis, so you can't entirely blame his personality for this one. Just give him some time and help him take care of his basic needs. He'll come back around soon enough.

[balillee]

my unpopular dsmp opinions, some of which genuinely should be popular

c!dream has crossed the moral event horizon and is irredeemable. once you cross that threshold, you're no longer a 'morally grey' character.

pre-recorded, heavily produced lore killed the lore. it was cool, sure, but you completely misunderstand the magic that the smp had when people watched it initially. the story is improv and that's how we like it. we can tell the cc's have lost interest in it, you can admit that to us, we'll understand, just stop lying to me.

c!dream's pov isn't necessary to understand his character or his motivations. if you've watched literally any c!primeboys stream he's basically spelled it out for you.

i don't understand how fans can dislike l'manberg or have claimed to be against it since the beginning. i honestly don't get it. what's so bad about wanting your own spot where you make your own rules and skirt accountability that has been used to technically oppress you before - and, before someone who never saw the earlier streams tries to disagree with this, the og l'manberg crew were imprisoned for shit that everyone else on the server was practically encouraged to do. also, what do you have against fun and happiness?

i think some of you forget that 'hybrids' aren't a thing, discounting c!ranboo. there's no piglin hybrids, c!techno is just a pig. there's no avian hybrids, c!phil is just a man with wings. there's no creeper hybrids, c!sam is just a creeper who's indecently exposed from the hips down. canonically there's no hybrids, and therefore no hybrid discrimination. people ran with that concept too much.

the loss and the fanon rewriting of the early lore up until pogtopia has ruined fandom perception of c!dream and the og l'manberg boys. c!tommy is more morally white than you think he is, and c!dream has always been a villain - he massacres and he kills and he destroys and he schemes and he always has broken his own rules. no wonder the boys wanted their own space after how they were treated.

i think ranboo oftentimes forgets his own lore. he brings stuff up that c!ranboo may have done, such as exploding the community house to frame c!tommy, holding onto Cat, and it goes absolutely nowhere. we've gotten all of these developments in his story but they have never been expanded on, and we're nowhere closer to figuring out his relationship to c!dream and what his other side is and honestly i see no hope that we'll be any closer to knowing even by the end of the year.

your characters don't all have to be morally grey for the story itself to be morally grey. this is fiction - some people can be nothing but evil and others can be nothing but good. being purely good or evil doesn't mean that you're one dimensional, either.

c!dream apologists have ruined c!dream for me. he's not a good person. how about you let me enjoy a villain for who he actually is, rather for than your percieved woobified ragdoll you pass off as c!dream.

the story was better when there was a central writer. it was brilliant back when wilbur wrote it to be that the environment drives the characters and the story, and it was really good in early s2 up until techno's execution day when it was more character driven. since then, the amount of autonomy people have over their characters without any central 'director', as it were, has been a detriment to the story overall. there needs to still be one overarching figure or director or writer.

not everyone is a main character. just because they have a pov, doesn't mean they're a main character. some characters have such little impact on the overall plot and describing everyone as a main character oversaturates the story and makes some characters seem more important than they are.

the egg lore had so much potential up until it didn't. all that built up threat that we were expecting and we still don't even know what the egg wants really other than just controlling people. does it hatch?

genuinely, if there's no major plot developments by the end of the year (and let's be honest, it's a very big possibility at this point), a few of the more prominent members of the server should do a podcast style stream talking about where the story would have gone, because at least then we would have gotten somewhat closer to a conclusion.

c!techno is a villain and an asshole and a bad person. he stops caring for people once their interests don't align with his or if they look at him funny. he makes meta-jokes about his own tyrannical and oppressive nature. stop taking that away from him. he's a bad person. cc!techno does a fabulous job portraying that in a comedic manner and the balancing of him being a deeply flawed person with deeply flawed morals and ideas with his comedically-portrayed stubbornness and lack of willingness to hear out opposing viewpoints is incredible. i want to like characters who are arseholes for the sake of being arseholes, and who refuse to take into account the hurt they've caused either out of self-righteousness or because they don't care, so let me. he's the anti-peacemaker, LET ME HIM ENJOY HIM FOR THAT!!!!

i think tommy and wilbur's way of doing lore is my favourite. relies heavily on improv, voice acting, sprite acting and facial expressions. really shows off the acting props and they pull off the emotional moments well for the insanity of the creative medium.

i'm not a fan of fan-music. i find songs about media i'm into difficult to listen to. coincidentally i'm also not a fan of shit like slam poetry or live music/musicals/pantomimes.

the death of l'manberg killed people's motivation to go on the server casually. i've talked about it more in depth before, but destroying what was a central, driving environment for the story killed momentum and motivation. imagine in an episode of she-ra, the princess alliance just nuke the freight zone and all of the members of the horde just have to deal with it. that would be shit.

until season 3 has some momentum, i'm counting the end of the smp as january 20th. that had a conclusion. season 3 has... whores, technoblade and tommyinnit. that's about it.

i wasn't a fan of the development of c!tubbo joining las nevadas. i preferred snowchester and the walled city conflict. give c!tubbo some backbone and some badassery. also tubbo where's the fucking nuke bro if you're shelving that plotline just tell us on like an alt stream what the plan was i beg

add like 2 or 3 new people to the server so that michael mcchill has someone to talk to and so that there's something always happening on the server. it gives the og's more motivation to return if things are happening in and out of canon and it'll help with momentum, and who knows? maybe they can write their own story/stories.

i really think that c!sam is an underrated character. he's multilayered, extremely interesting, and the dichotomy of his loyalty to his job and how far down the rabbithole that's taken him versus the genuine love he has for his friends that drives him to do what he does out of wanting to do right by them is brilliant. i don't talk about c!sam enough.

STOP HAVING FUCKING VILLAIN ARCS!!! I'M FUCKIN SICK OF IT!!!! i want to see more characters who see everyone else being absolute selfish, abhorrent cunts and go 'if nobody else is going to be a good person, i fucking will'. GIVE ME SOME MORAL WHITENESS!!! IT'S INTERESTING AND MORALLY GOOD CHARACTERS ARE FUN!!!

let tommyinnit build cobblestone towers. everyone bullied him too much for how ugly they were and the one he built outside of the prison looked genuinely really nice. it gives the boy something to do.

i'm a fan of the revive book and the canon lives system. don't ask me why, but i think it might just be the morbidity of it. it adds to c!dream's god complex persona, and i think the fragility of death itself is a really fun concept. not enough fan cc's have made connections with that and c!mumza, and it could make for cool fanfic.

ranboo your house is fucking ugly. it's an eyesore

c!niki, and to some extent now c!jack and c!fundy, are boring me and ruining my mood. i think c!jack is the closest to being an actually interesting sympathetic villain, mainly because nobody else seems to realise that c!niki is a villain. not a good one imo, but she's a villain. c!jack just has the problem of starting a new project over and over and over and over again and because of the slow in momentum for the primary cast, there hasn't been a lot of recent development for him.

not really a dream smp opinion, but if philza went full geordie accent, i would love it. i want him to, in canon, say shit like 'me n ye' instead of 'me and you' and use geordie dialect. i want him to be physically unintelligible because it's funny.

i don't really know what's up with c!foolish but i think he's a dumbass. he had a while to think about c!q's proposal and then changed his mind about joining the guy to admitted to letting him die just because. moron

i wish there was more c!eret lore. i wish he was an actual king with an actual kingdom and actual subjects and royal advisors. c!eret is far too fucking cool to be the king of nothing and nobody. fatten up the kingdom and the castle with people who work with c!eret, and don't just make it tyrannical and dictator-y to prove the point of the server's 'anarchists'. make it a healthy working environment, please - if you want moral greyness, have 'anarchists' who claim to care about the welfare of the server oppose a kingdom of happy people under a fair and just ruler because their ideologies clash.

the server needs more characters who oppose anarchy in more peaceful ways, or passively wish for systems to be a part of. i think a chaos vs order conflict ending only in mutual understanding where everyone understands that they should just leave each other alone would slot nicely into the story that's been created so far.

you need to have watched all of the previous arcs to understand the story. i've seen people argue that they don't need to know about earlier lore to understand the prison, but that's the equivalent of only watching the final season of pretty little liars and expecting to understand the context of what's going on.

some characters aren't that morally grey. some characters, take c!tommy for example, are definitely on the whiter side for the morality scale, he's just an asshole. he's abrasive and rude and a dickhead but he also doesn't agree with terrorism, he's patriotic, he strives for a better world, he's apologetic, but he's also a fucking BITCH.

you can add onto this if you want, but not if you're a c!dream apologist. nobody likes your opinions

[anotheranimestan]

Heyooo I legit just found u bc of the bakugo series, and then I went on a spree reading your account- ugh I’m in love!!! Do you think you could tag me when part 3 comes out?

Ahhh! Thank you so much! ❤️ You guys have no idea how much a few words of encouragement means to writers 😭.

No need to tag tho because here it is!!!!! 😃

Sorry it took so long. I wanted to write it as best as I could! I don’t want disappoint anyone who’s been enjoying so far. ☺️

~~

All Bark No Bite (pt. 3)

(Final part)

Bakugo angst + ~sexual tensionnn~

Please, children avert your eyes. Things get a LITTLE inappropriate here 😳

Read part 1 and part 2

wc: 2.4k

He’s an asshole...but he’s a HOT asshole 🤤

You’d never seen his room before. It was much different than you’d imagined. You’d expected burn marks all over the walls or blown up debris of things scattered about. Maybe a bunch of mirrors so he could look at his self-confident, conceited ass all night. But actually it was kinda of nice. Pretty neat. He had some posters hung up and some books laying around. Black sheets and blankets. And it smelled oddly sweet in here, sort of pleasant believe it or not.

You’re so used to him yelling and exploding so it was weird seeing him so relaxed, in his natural habitat. Doing normal things. Like eating a snack, tapping his pencil in concentration, fidgeting with his hair. He even spun around in his rolling chair a few times mindlessly. He was acting sort of...cute? It was unnerving being attracted to him like this.

But as soon as he noticed you watching him it was all over. You were making him self conscious. He didn’t even realize he’d let his guard down like that.

“That makes absolutely no sense, dumbass.” His voice was bored and over it.

“What are you talking about!? I’ve explained it three times!” You retorted indignantly.

“Exactly. I thought you were smarter than this...” He jabbed before turning around and flipping his notebook shut.

You’d spent twenty minutes attempting to teach him what he’d missed in class earlier today but he was insufferable. Easily the worst student on the planet. Every time you explained something he’d tell you how to teach it better. Who does that!?

“Whatever moron. I didn’t come up here to try and teach your pea brain. I—“ The words were harder to say than you’d expected. Painful actually. They really didn’t want to come out. “I just wanted to say sorry for getting you—“

He whipped a pencil and it hit you directly in the forehead.

“Ouch, what the fuck?” You hissed, rubbing the sore spot. How’d he get so much damn power behind that thing?

“Don’t apologize. It’s weird.”

“What!?” You threw the pencil back but only managed to hit his shoulder.

“Anyways...” He ignored you, completely unfazed by your assault.

“You’re easily the most—“

“Anyways...” You swore if he cut you off one more time you were going to smack the shit out of him. “Aizawa thinks you’ve lost your mind.”

The unexpected information took you aback.

“He saw you try and get yourself blown up in class yesterday... No sane person is stupid enough to pull a move like you did.”

Ah yes... he meant the time you wrapped the man’s hand around your neck, tauntingly, in front of like 20 classmates and two teachers. You’d been trying to avoid asking yourself the question of why you did that. You claimed it was the best way to shut him up....but there were other ways to do that. More reasonable ones. You wouldn’t admit you’d daydreamed of doing it before and subconsciously took the opportunity. Red embarrassment flashed through your body again. God knows what they were all thinking when they witnessed that. You desperately wished people would stop reminding you.

Suddenly the need to defend yourself bubbled up. “I—I only did that because I knew you wouldn’t do anything.”

He scoffed. But didn’t deny it. “If you’re going to try something stupid. At least do it right.” He chastised.

Your body froze as he stood up and walked over, crouching down directly in front of you.

“If I wanted to choke you. I’d do it like this.”

He wrapped his hand around your neck. Demonstrating the best way to actually cut off someone’s air flow. But he did it so gently you barely even heard his explanation. You were just flashing back to last night. Instantly your entire body lit on fire. Replaying this scene in your head was strong enough. But reenacting had you completely out of sorts. Kissing him again but this time going full out. You wanted to bite him, just to hear him make that deep moan into your mouth again. Just imagining it was making you flutter. Aching to have him pressed up against you like that, relieving some of this pressure that was building up in your body. You felt yourself unraveling. About to pounce.

But he interjected with something that stunned you once again. “The way you did it would be better for...other forms of choking.”

Dear god. Surely he knew what he was doing to you. If he kept this up any longer your heart or your lungs were definitely going to give out.

But you mustered up your last two brain cells that weren’t absolutely losing their shit over him and carried on with your normal banter.

“Yea yea, I get it. You can stop now.”

He didn’t budge. His hand still snug around your throat. You obviously didn’t mind it there but it was incapacitating your brain function.

You gently pushed it away and he didn’t resist. But where he put it next was no better.

He traced the side of your cheek and along the outline of your lips. Just staring at them, eyes lost like he was thinking deeply about something. He wasn’t giving you a moment of a break. No room to breathe.

Your nerves were through the roof, your heart was beating so loud you could hear it in your ears. Desperately you tried to change the topic. “So is this your attempt at being nice? Advice on how to murder someone?” It’s amazing how your mouth just spewed shit out even though your brain was actually dead.

“Sure.” Now he was tugging at your bottom lip. Completely unbothered by you baiting him.

“Ah. A nice Bakugo? I must be having a dream. I guess now that you’ve lost to me your whole tough guy persona has been killed.”

That snapped him out of it. But now he was looking just as intensely, directly into your eyes.

“Don’t push it.”

“Or what?” Faking composure was coming so easily much to your relief.

“Do you want to find out?” He growled.

“You’re not scary.” You said rolling your eyes as hard as possible.

Something snapped in him. He couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Within a moment he had you on your back. Your body didn’t even have time to process. Even if it did, would you have stopped him? He trapped both your wrists on either side of your head and your feet under his ankles. His arms looked glorious as he held up is body weight.

“How about now?” His voice was deep and savory.

There he went. Invading your mind again. His scent. That lust-filled look in his eyes. The way he was thoroughly enjoying being on top of you. The adrenaline was coiling through your body. He had you right where he wanted you. He could do anything he wanted to you. But that “annoying little mouth of yours” wasn’t done quite yet.

“Whatever. You always do this. But you won’t actually try anything.”

“You think I wouldn’t hurt you at all? I literally want to kill you sometimes.” He had a smug little grin on his face. But his eyes couldn’t pull themselves from your lips. After experiencing them once he could barely stop thinking about them.

“You’re telling me? I fucking hate you.” You lied.

It made his smirk form into that wicked, shit-eating grin he always wore. The one that gets deep under your skin and makes you want to punch him in the throat and yank him onto you at the same time.

“Kissing someone is a weird way to tell them you hate them.” He was really cutting into you now.

You hissed. “Hey. You kissed me.”

“You kissed me back.” He raised an annoying little eyebrow.

Your brain wanted to choke him (the murder kind) but your body was screaming something completely different. The emotions swirling around in your chest was so overwhelming. Finally you burst.

You trapped one of his arms and corresponding leg and threw your weight to roll on top of him. One of your favorite moves from self-defense class that you knew would come in handy. Now you straddled him and using every ounce of your weight tried to pin his wrists down.

You expected him to fight you like the vicious little monster he is. But instead when you looked down he was just staring back at you. You were stunned at how good he looked at this angle. Did he have any bad angles?

“Finally. You made a move.” He said pretending to sound impressed. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“Yea well...” You scoffed proudly. “you think you’re so fucking tough. Now looo—“

The words flew out of your mouth and you were tumbling again. This time he just grabbed your waist and tugged you with brute force. No technique needed. He easily overpowered you.

“Yea, that wasn’t going to work out. It was a cute try though, Little Bite.”

He laid directly on top of you now. Your legs spread as he rested his hips between them. His full weight pressed into you making it flutter. Your arms had somehow wrapped themselves around his neck and rested on his back.

The tension in the air made it difficult to breathe. But you were fully unconcerned with getting oxygen right now.

Nose to nose now he said “We’ll just count this as my rematch. Clearly I won.”

“You suck at flirting.”

Flirting? Where’d that come from?

“Seems like it’s working pretty good to me.”

That smug fucking face again.

“You’re such an ass.”

He bit his lip.

“Fuck...I love when you insult me like that.”

A beat passed and that was all it took. You smashed his lips onto yours. Wrapping your legs around him and squeezing. Too close wasn’t close enough.

He kissed you like he wanted you bad. Like you were his favorite meal and he was absolutely famished. It was so intense and passionate that neither of you could catch any air. Every insult, all the bickering, every jab had built up to this moment and was fueling it like gas to a forest fire.

His warmth was overtaking you. His body was so heavy, crushing you just liked you’d been daydreaming about all this time.

Your mind shut down all functions except desperately trying to use all five senses to their max capacity and commit every bit of him to memory.

He felt you pawing at the edge of his shirt and sat up. He peeled it off slowly. Letting your eyes adjust to every inch of him.

Your hands were instantly stroking every one of his muscles starting at his shoulders and trailing down his soft skin slowly...slowly to the edge of his jeans. Your index finger sat teasingly on the front button as you admired his perfectly toned body.

But before you even had time to think about what you wanted to do next he took your wrist and secured it down above your head again.

He dipped down and went straight for your neck.

Greeting it with a warm wet kiss from his tongue, his lips wrapped around your skin and sucked gently. You felt the blood pooled with pleasure rushing to the area. His other hand started exploring your body. Finally he was getting to put his hands on you the way he really wanted all along.

After you started tugging on his hair, desperately trying to avoid any scandalous hickeys he rolled you around again.

Letting you on top to straddle his hips. Giving you only a little bit of freedom though, as he locked one arm around your waist and the other started caressing your thighs slowly working his way north.

After squeezing your ass until his heart was content he clamped down both hands on your hips. You couldn’t bare it anymore. Your hips started gently grinding against him and you bit down on his neck all at once. You felt the angle of his pelvis rubbing into you creating little rumbles of pleasure.

“Fuck y/n..” he muttered under his breath.

You both were getting more and more bothered and aroused. His hands never stopped grabbing and tugging at you. His moans growing more fervent as he whispered into your ear.

He was just toying with the idea of peeling off your shirt when...

“THIS IS THE POLICE! COME OUT!”

Your soul practically rose out of your body as a loud bang almost broke the door down. Bakugo’s hand slapped over your mouth. You’d screamed without realizing it.

Kaminari’s laugh sounded through the door. “Oh my god Bakugo! You scream like a girl!”

Mina shrieked. “No, stupid! Y/n are you in there!?”

Your life was ending.

“Get the fuck out of here before I come out there and break your skulls!” Bakugo barked at them.

They didn’t say anything but you heard their quick footsteps as they ran down the hall still shrieking like banshees.

“Oh god..” you groaned as you tried to roll away from him, using his bare chest to push off.

But he wouldn’t let you go. “Where are you going?”

“Aren’t you going to go hunt them down and threaten them or something.” Typical Bakugo behavior.

“No, I’m busy.”

You had to stop your mouth from falling open.

“They’re probably going to tell everyone.” You prodded. Expecting his temper any second now. Like he was a bomb about to go off. You pulled away again in preparation, sitting fully upright now.

“I’ll deal with them tomorrow. I’m dealing with you tonight. Now get back over here before I get mad.”

You shrieked as he muscled you back into his arms. He bent you back around him as snugly as he could. Moving your chin to the side, he kissed your neck, sweeter this time. Instinctively your hands ran through his hair. Fuck the rest of them. You could get lost in this hot head all night. And you were as he started gently sucking on your soft spots again.

But he pulled away abruptly. Like he’d just realized something. “How are you gonna become a pro hero if a moron like Denki can scare you like that?”

You smacked the back of your idiot’s head lightly. “Don’t fucking ruin it.” You groaned.

“Fine.” He grinned as he went in for the kiss that started the rest your next piping hot and sticky couple of hours together.

~💥💥

TADAAA! What did you guys think?? What was your favorite part overall?

I’d love hearing your thoughts and opinions 😃 makes me a better writer

Also special shout-out to @jennammaee ! Pt. 2 of this series has been my most successful post yet, so thanks for encouraging me to write it!!

Tags: @sweetsailor000 @yumxmii @fullsundear @frosted-flakes @marloalmore @aprilbouz01 @deneuves @softestparker @davidbowiehotashell-blog @mocha-focha @piii-chan @v0dkadaddy @xxjosiexx

[nottheweirdest]

For the ask game: 2, 7, and 9 please! ☺️

Absolutely!! :-D

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

I am itching to do the one bed trope!! I'd probably do it over an extended period though, drag out the initial tension until everyone just explodes hehe. Ahhh that'd be fun. Once I get out of angstville with Clean Slate maybe! :-P That could be my reward!

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

This was tough, but here's one off the top of my head from Winter Song (rated Teen).

Maria reached her hand under Shadow’s arm and laced their fingers. “I need you to know something, Shadow, and to really hear me.” She turned to face him, making sure she had his full attention. “My death was not your fault. I chose to save you. I wanted to save you. You’re my best friend. You’re like a brother to me, and I see so much good in you, Shadow. I see everything that you fail to see yourself. You think you’re a failure, because Grandpa created you to save me and I’m dead, but don’t you see? You did save me. All those years I spent alone, hurting, not able to be a kid on earth, or a kid on the ARK and then you came along and suddenly, I wasn’t alone anymore.”

Maria paused and squeezed his hand for emphasis. “You made me feel like I belonged, like you and I were our own little family. Apart from everything and everyone else, but we had each other. You think you didn’t save me because my physical body died, but Shadow, I’m telling you, you saved me the day you came into existence and every single day after.”

Shadow bit his lip, tasting blood as he tried to stop the tears that welled in his eyes, but Maria pointed her finger at him adamantly. “Don’t you do that. Don’t hide your feelings. Feel them. You want to know why you hurt so bad sometimes? It’s because your heart is so big. You are full of love. More so than any person I’ve ever met, except for maybe that guy over there,” she said, jerking her head toward Sonic who lay making snow angels in the distance.

Shadow twisted his head to follow her gaze and shook his head. Moron.

I'm proud of it because I think it's something that's relatable to a lot of people. It touches on self perception, guilt, trauma response, etc. I think a lot of people could read that and have it hit home in some way.

And then I threw some humor in at the end because.... I am me lol

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Hands down Clean Slate for a number of reasons, but it's just dense. It's a lot to keep track of as far as the plot and planning goes, plus it's working through A LOT. It's not a lighthearted fic, it's angsty and emotionally and mentally exhausting to write sometimes. I spend hours and hours on each chapter, writing, rewriting, editing, more editing. It's been a HUGE undertaking but it's my first big fic and I'm real dang proud of it :-D Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[recurring-polynya]

I have to say I knew that at one point renji, ikkaku, yumichika and iba were in the same squad with kenpachi but good god you managed to paint a beautiful picture for me. I simply assumed that for them it was simply party time all the time along with a few bald jokes but this is much better. Emotionally healthy squad 11 which still love fighting more than anything. I always cringed when someone would just describe them as hooligans that do nothing but fighting. I mean they do that too but I love the idea that they are all emotionally healthy and mature, a loving and supportive family to their own - in their own wakka doodoo kind of way thats endearing - and of course they are in my opinion they single capable force against sexisim. Because they don't care about anything else - gendere, sexuality, gender performances, race, mentality or anything - other than if you fight good you respectable and if you fight good in squad 11 you family. ( like when kenpachi just became captain he made yachiru his lieutenant and no one was against it no one thought it was beneath them, sure thru nag at her sometimes but that's mostly in a banter like way because she call them stupid nicknames but no one hates her for being unrightfully their superior. One day they got a new captain and a new lieutenant that's a child and they just went with it.) I admit their disdain and disrespect to squad 4 is still frowned upon but I do believe some squad 4s can handle their own, it's just that we saw the really peaceful ones. Anyways sorry for ranting. Just wanted to say that yeah, I really like how the past squad 11 with iba and renji in it was a great place in general. I think if they found out some one was being sexist - for whatever reason - they would be there right next to nanao - or iba's mom protesting. Kenpachi and yachiru as well. And that makes me want to be squad 11 ,despite not being much for fighting, so bad.

So, for starters, thanks! I try to have fun whenever I write Squad 11, and I’m glad you enjoy my take on them.

My Squad 11 is just... really not very canon, though. Canon Squad 11 is actually pretty gross and sexist. Yumichika is transphobic, Kenpachi makes homophobic remarks about Yumichika, they bully Squad 4, there’s a filler episode devoted to a guy that Ikkaku bullied for, like 100 years because the guy lost his reiatsu saving Ikkaku’s dumb ass.

When you write fanfic, you occasionally run into these more problematic aspects of the source media, and you can choose to dig in and analyze them, or just... remake them in your own way. Take for example, Gin. If you read fanfic about Gin, there are some people who will peel away the layers of him and his fears and insecurities and still make him be a horrible gremlin, and it’s really stellar writing. Other people prefer to write him in an AU where maybe less bad stuff happened to him, and he’s more mischievous than sociopathic, and this is a less meaty interpretation, but it’s also more fun. Sometimes fanfic is a meal and sometimes it’s candy. It fulfills different needs and different fantasies and all of it is welcome.

Yumichika, who for me is the fulcrum of Squad 11, presents this problem. I really don’t like the way his “appreciation for beauty” plays out in canon. He doesn’t actually appreciate beauty, he just likes telling other people they’re ugly. I don’t think he’s ever pointed out beauty in anyone else aside from himself or his zanpakutou. I remember the first time I watched his fight with Charlotte and it struck me as so off -- why wouldn’t he find her beautiful? I mean, I know it’s a transmysogynistic joke, that’s why, men dressed as women is funny, hurr hurr, but Yumichika is gender nonconforming himself. This was an opportunity to make a cool character point, and Kubo took the cheap laughs road instead. Going back to what I said last paragraph, a skilled writer could, in theory, write about his insecurities and his brittleness and meanness and write a pretty compelling story, but a) Kubo certainly doesn’t, and I have never actually found a Yumichika-centric fanfic of this nature, and b) this doesn’t fit the role I need him to play in my stories. I am rarely really interested in writing about Squad 11 for its own sake. I like to write them as a backdrop for the period of Renji’s afterlife where he hit absolute rock bottom and bounced back up again. We already know the role Ikkaku played in this, except that Ikkaku is a complete moron in terms of mental health, and I really, really felt like this is where Yumichika needed to come in.

I like to massage Yumichika’s character a bit, but I do want to keep the flavor of some of his character flaws-- he’s still shallow and mean and judgy, and I love that for him, but I like to add in a positive side to his appreciation for beauty. Having Yumichika make fun of Izuru’s pores is funny but it’s even funnier if he’s just given Renji a compliment on his hair first. The idea that a Yumichika compliment is attainable makes all his drags the more vicious. Yumichika also judged people by their beauty instead of their moral character, which is humorous to me. He dislikes Byakuya as a person, but is obsessed with his haircare regime. I like to have him treat Rangiku as an equal, beauty-wise, and a person whose opinion he respects based on her aesthetic. Rangiku is actually a pretty savvy and very emotionally intelligent person whom many people write off because she likes to present herself as a lazy airhead, so in an extremely convoluted way, this all works out. I like to think that Yumichika’s ideas of beauty are also caught up in boldness and risk-taking and having one’s outward presentation ring true to their inner self. To me, this is the core of why he loves Ikkaku. To him, Ikkaku’s devotion to doing the most Ikkaku thing at all times, no matter how stupid, is irresistibly sexy. 

Aside: At some point, I decided that the fact that a lot of people in Bleach have colorful marks on their faces and elaborate hairstyle and accessory games implied that make-up in Soul Society is gender neutral. I like to think there is actually more of a divide between the nobility, who like their make-up to follow rules and be classy, and, well, Squad 11, who like to get make-up ideas from Jem and the Holograms. I don’t even wear makeup (I don’t know how and it’s expensive and I am ashamed of myself, we can talk about my own gender presentation later) but I like to write about both my male and female characters wearing make-up. I don’t actually know how my readers feel about it, but it just falls under the “Is that what people want?”/“It’s what we do” philosophy of all my writing.

I think one of the theses of my writing is that middle management is more important to the character of a squad than the person at the top. Captains sort of act as ideals to strive for, but they are generally unapproachable for one reason or another. Yachiru is more like her captain in this respect (which makes sense, since she is, in fact part of her captain). Ikkaku and Yumichika present this dual idea that 1) strength is awesome, fighting and being the best is awesome, and 2) part of strength is presenting yourself to the world in a bold and confrontational way. (The fact that both of them are hiding huge parts of themselves is laughably ironic). Kenpachi and Yachiru are shining examples of Do Whatever You Want and Be So Strong That No One Can Stop You. 

What really makes this work is that you need someone one layer down-- does anyone actually subscribe to this nonsense, and that’s why Iba - Abarai Squad 11 is Best Squad 11. I really, really enjoy the genre of Reddit posts where a total bro will find out that his girlfriend is trans and react by becoming a vehement advocate for trans rights. I love the bodybuilders typing encouragement to each other meme. Our world is flooded with disingenuous messages from concern trolls trying to tell us why being kind and inclusive to one another is bad or that you should reject help because struggle makes you stronger and the idea of a Himbo looking at something like that and saying “that seems dumb" is delightful to me.

I actually feel like there are a lot of awful people with bad ideas in Squad 11, it’s just that Renji and Iba don’t put up with their shit, and over time, that becomes the culture of Squad 11. I think that Squad 11 has incredibly turnover, but the ones who stay are the ones who subscribe to the ideas you mentioned-- fighting is what matters, if you wanna go argue about shit, go join Squad 5. In the IkkaYumi story I wrote, which happens shortly after Zaraki takes over, a ton of people leave. The Bount Arc (which I know a lot of people skipped) features a dude who was extremely pissed off because he had liked the old Kenpachi and thought Zaraki sucked and was so mad about it that he betrayed Soul Society. You might think that this arc would feature Zaraki caring about this in some way shape or form, but he really didn’t. So, I think there are a lot of Soul Reapers that took issue with serving under a little girl as a vice captain, they just aren’t in Squad 11 anymore.

Oh, one last note on Iba’s mom. I am of an age where a number of my friends have mothers who were Second Wave Feminists. The moms in question are a real mixed bag, because they Came From a Different Time, and on one hand, you have to respect what they went through, and on the other hand, they are very difficult to get along with. I liked the idea that Iba has always chafed against his mom and her big personality, and then Renji comes in, and is like, “hey, your mom is strong as hell and she has a lot of ideas that I never thought of but they make sense” and Iba realizes that, even though she’s still a huge pain in his ass, his mom is the person who made him who he is. Moms are complex.

Uhhhh, I have definitely lost the thread of wherever I was going with this post. Thank you for enjoying my Squad 11, which is nothing like canon Squad 11. Hopefully maybe this year, I will actually finish my Squad 11 Self Care story, where Renji stops being a drunk disaster person after Yumichika teaches him how to fill his brows; I got stuck on a part where Rangiku gives Renji a talk on ethical sluttery.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

So I guess now is a good time to start a new series of (re)watch posts, amirite?

May I present you the official start of “Previously, in season 4 (re)watch...”?

Dog butt!!! They really recast Buddy and Beth this season, huh?

WHY DOES EVERYONE IN AMERICA SEEM TO HAVE ADHD FFS?????

WHY DID HE SHAVE???? WHY???? Honestly Josh's beard was literally the only thing that made him remotely fuckable, now he looks like a grumpy Jake Peralta on a bad day and it's NOT a compliment...

I don't understand why Annie keeps booking therapy session with Josh while their dynamic is getting unhealthier by the minute...

So these morons are now cannonically quizzing each other about the days of the week. It's more official than ever, they're idiots.

"So you do understand the concept of time"  @sothischickshe​ WERE YOU A CONSULTANT ON THE SHOW?????

"Kind of like being almost pregnant" Okay I have SO MANY questions here. Did Rio find out about the pregnancy lie??? How? WHEN? Why didn't we get to see him reacting to the news? I -- what -- NBC YOU CAN'T DROP A BOMB LIKE THIS AND EXPECT ME TO KEEP QUIET OKAY

Lowkey expected Rio to make a sexual innuendo in response to "don't touch that it's still wet" tbh...

Okay so, so far we've got: fart jokes. Unhealthy therapy session. Idiots reciting the days of the week. If that's announcing the general level of the season, oh Lord, have mercy

ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! BETH IS SERVING INDUSTRIAL COOKIES IN HER HOUSE, I REPEAT, BETH IS SERVING INDUSTRIAL COOKIES IN HER HOUSE

Wait. So Beth signs up on Phoebe's class because of her faint, right? HOW could Phoebe anticipate that? Sounds like a lot of efforts put into a plan that wasn't likely to work in normal circumstances... Also, how did Phoebe recruit all these people???

I love that Beth's incentive to get Dean to do anything is mentioning Rio. And that it's enough.

Dean x Eric is my new ship goal. Derrick. Gosh I love this splashing scene!

Can we all agree that this Boland Bubbles logo is absolutely ugly?

gotta say, it really takes an idiot to paint OVER a sprinkler...

Is it me or is this a Beth x Phoebe (x squats) sapphic vibe?

So, um, not only are Beth and Dean under A LOT of suspicions, but they thought that bribing an official representant of the authorities was a good idea???? Is everyone really dumb in this show?

Honestly I don't think the writers would have made Rio say canonically that he owned the place if it hadn't been such a popular headcanon in the fandom. I'm growingly convinced that one of you mutuals is Bill Krebs and I want to know WHICH ONE

Actually it's not a bad thing that Rio owns the bar given how loudly Beth describes their criminal enterprise in it...

Also can we talk about how Rio casually brings up the concept of dropping panties? To Beth?? In a BAR????

LOL at Beth not knowing any drink without caffeine or booze! Also LOVE Rio's little shocked head-tilt at this

Okay but WHAT other stuff Emo Boi has on his mind?? Is he just being dramatic or are we bound to see his nun cosplay soon??

OMG this man has absolutely no notion of personal space. Not that we didn't already know that. But DAMN

Beth's face and incredulous "I am?" when Rio tells her that she was right is absolutely GOLD

What an EXCELLENT idea to write and sign an incriminating letter right before the cops interrogate you. Also, I seriously doubt Dean will ever think about looking behind the family picture. His interactions with it will probably be limited to covering it with a shirt while he'll screw his secretary on the desk

Beth's handwriting is as bad as Rio's tbh

Okay I have to admit that an Annie x Mick scene wasn't something I thought would ever happen in canon. How does she have his phone number though? Do they really have a group chat? *gasp*

Also there's only one car in this parking lot. Did Mick pick Annie up somewhere? And stopped for Chinese without offering her something to eat? I have so many logistic questions

WHY IS EVERYONE ON THIS SHOW OBSESSED WITH PARENTHOOD??? Seriously, being a parent doesn't suddenly make you a good person

Hahaha, I love that Mick's beard has apparently magic cleaning skills since there isn't an ounce of sauce on that

YOU SOUND LIKE YOUR SISTER!!!!!

Ugh, another picnic table in the dark Brio scene... Honestly I feel like I've seen this scene ten times already? Could we change settings a little?

Did she seriously call him a tiger???? Are they petnaming already?

I'll never get over any scene where Beth overdoes cooking in a WILD fashion

Beth mentioning Rio dying of old age gave me THOUGHTS...

So, um. Last season I was definitely open to the suggestion of a Beth x Fitz storyline, I thought that there really was a potential and some sexual tension in the air, but then you give me this??? No build-up?? Just a creepy guy a la Trent from Crazy Ex Girlfriend (he's just a boy in love, but STILL)? Also, why is everyone in town hitting on a MARRIED woman? Not that I give that much importance to the institution of marriage, but like, everyone is hitting on Beth like some fanfic Mary Sue at this point...

This crying scene is so weird

OH MY GOD THEY'RE BUSTING DEAN, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT, WHAT A CLIFFY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Nah, just kidding, I don't give a shit...)

Bonus: FINALLY someone is asking the good questions

[gra-sonas]

Ok thank you to Danny for all that info!!!! I also hope that gives some comfort. I saw after s4 got announced some worried the show would then put off malex longer. And while I didn’t think they’d do that no matter what, now it’s even more clear that they’ve been done with the writing of the season for a while. Maybe final editing sure, but this season has been done being planned out (and written) for a while.

It’s nice that we finally got some kind of explanation why the RNM Writers Room account on Twitter’s pretty much dead atm. Although it doesn’t explain why they stopped posting in November already. 

At the time the writers were not on hiatus yet. I get that they are all very busy people, but you can’t tell me that out of the 10,080 minutes a week has, none of them found even one minute every two weeks to tweet a pic of a new script??? Initially it was also Chris’s assistant who tweeted stuff. 

Oh well, at least I won’t expect more coming from that account any time soon.

As for Malex in S3 vs dragging Malex out until S4

If the writers had never talked to any of the actors EVER (esp. Jeanine, Vlam and Tyler), and would actually be that clueless and incapable of “reading a room” [during and after S2] that they’d delay Malex until S4, then the show’d deserve to tank and never be heard of after S3. Bc that’s what would happen if it’d be yet another entire season of them getting nowhere. 

Ratings (live TV ratings anyway, 3+ and 7+ streaming ratings will hopefully improve the numbers at least a little bit) this season will be abysmal either way  bc airing new episodes during the summer months is just the most ungrateful thing, but fandom would most certainly be dead after another “fruitless” season. 

Bc lbr, it’s not “casual viewers” who have made Vlamburn’s MalexForever merch the most successful drop yet. It’s not “casual viewers” who tweet or post about the show on Tumblr or IG Every. Damn. Day. It’s not “casual viewers” who interact with the cast and the occasional official social media posts.

WE are the people who keep that tiny flickering-for-dear-life RNM spark alive during an endless hiatus. WE are keeping fellow fans entertained and rope in new fans by creating gif sets, drawing fanart, or writing fanfic. 

I know, we’re a laughably small group of people (compared to many other fandoms), but man, we’re drumming up interest and we are the people engaging with the content for longer than just 42 minutes a week while the show’s on air. They can’t afford to completely ignore us.

And we’ve been VOCAL about being TIRED and FED UP with all of this BULLSHIT. S2 was a disaster (and not just in regards to Malex), and they know it.

There’s also Tyler, who’s been VERY clear about what he wants to see in S3, and there’s Vlamis, who’s BURNING to see Malex happen (and who’s also a writer himself and clearly sees that Malex are the Golden Goose of RNM - no offense to Echo, they are great, but lbr, they don’t create the same kind of “buzz”). 

He wasn’t kidding here. Not really. 

Since I don’t deem the writers (and especially Chris) morons, I doubt that they will ignore ALL of the above. Maybe The CW or some higher ups at WB would’ve wanted to drag things out, but I’m like 99.999999999% certain that we will get Malex this season.

Not right away, but around halfway through the season. That’s my prediction at least. Maybe not full on relationship yet, but there’ll be something, and I’m fairly certain, that they’ve already kissed at least once. 

I mean, could I be absolutely and completely wrong about this? Sure. I just don’t think I am. Maybe I’m wrong about the “halfway through” thing. Maybe I’m wrong about the kiss (at this point). I’m still convinced that we’ll definitely get Malex this season.

The misery driven show runner’s gone and the dude with a romantic heart the size of New Mexico’s taken over. There’s a bunch of queer people in the writers room, one of the actors portraying half of the ship is queer. Jeanine is ROOTING for Malex, the entire cast is rooting for Malex. 

Dragging this out any further would cost them so much more than it would gain them.

Nah, I believe in Malex happening in S3 (and I say this without any 🤡 make up or costume on).

[misterbitches]

i keep thinking about this and coming to more conclusions like both as an artist and me. 

we always think first about the aggressor and not the victim. so, for example, with history 4 and yong jie what will their relationship look like now given the trauma? if they have no interest in fleshing this dude out and having him just be an annoying clingy little ugly bitch then acknowledge that pain and how it will affect them. it’s so easy for xing si to get over being raped? what about xing si’s relationship with his mother? what about the fracturing this does to the family when there’s an intense violation that was aided and abetted by the mother?

that would be far more fascinating trying to figure out and they could still have them be together if they so desperately need it but they can’t ignore everything. that means the trauma will permeate through every part of your life. it’s hilarious that so many fans say the portrayals are realistic because they are not. these shows do not have the time and many of the writers or producers do not have the care or prowess—or will have to cut things to please the state—to execute this. they expedite the healing process but we are left reeling. 

in film school one of my teachers was always like, “what happens in the world when the film ends?” and this is something to ask. are we approaching it from: a man falls in love with his brother who raped him and the mother encouraged it and the shock and taboo of that or are we approaching it from a man is forced and trapped into a rship and stockholm syndrome and how that plays out. even if they stayed together even so it would give us more reason and understanding and then we see and know the foundation is built on nothing but darkness and may never recover. after this chapter ends  there may be destruction; it’s possible because that’s how it all started.

but after this story ends, in the way it is presented, what will happen? it’s not just entertainment and that doesn’t mean it’s as big of a deal as i think it is even as i write these things. these are just things to keep in mind and things i think the younger viewers absolutely need to see. for themselves like as creative people and enjoying the media they consume and seeing what works and what doesn’t especially when a work serves a purpose. nothing is made for no reason so don’t expect it to be. to me i’m like: why was this made and what could have been better? 

there is NO improvement which is why we run around in the same circles. the way to untangle that is being clear about the message and its faults. the audience can’t be clear about it if the show isn’t doing its job for a team of professional fucking writers trying to entice people by poorly approaching topics and leaving them empty handed. life is not as hollow as these things make it and yet we eat it up hook line and fucking sinker. 

time and time again we see what these things must establish and how far they can push themselves. it isn’t until the material world gets better that we see a turn in the media but time isn’t linear. sometimes things are worse in years, sometimes things are better. these tropes last because they are a direct reflection of life and the failures in society. so of course it’s about the perpetrator and how they can get their prize but not how we can manage these things when there is a clear victim and we pretend like it isnt there under some sense of potential reform. 1. people do not need to be reformed in a story and that isn’t what this needs 2. is that compelling? 3. yes morally grey things exist but this is not morally grey when it is a violation adn that person’s action was not morally grey. there was a victim and he neeeds to be away from that victim. if he is going to stay we need to see the affects of him being there as real things and there is nothing realistic about that. in no fucking world would someone like xing si a grown adult fucking man be able to temper things that quickly as in the show. NONE. that shit lasts forever but we are supposed to see them kiss and be liek “aw wow morally grey” like what about him is morally grey in relation to xing si? specifically. whihc is the personhe will be with forever.

no it’s how do we get ourselves to see him and engage with him. you can engage with him or be enraptured sure but that doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t mean the writers are even doing anything with it! i’m glad eveyrone can garner there own idk ideas or get what they want out of a work but what about the victims? what about the relationships? what happens when the story ends? what are dinners like? cos their lives don’t stop when it’s not being recorded (as in these worlds we are shown are always going to exist so they continue on even without us seeing it. so the characters don’t have a stop point we just usually see their happy ending and many times with shitty relationships it’s like why are we here now?) at this point it’s comical and it’s boring. 

there’s a film i like with cameron diaz where she falls in love with someone who kidnapped her for a job. there’s no perosnal connection which really helps as well. he did it for a job, doesn’t know her, they fall in love. they get together at the end. that still affects her but it’s also way less psychological trauma then somoene stalking and grooming you and violating you and trapping you by direct action and constant manipulation. there’s no way to turn that around and it’s even worse when you try to with literally no other explanations. like who are these fucking characters and why should we even want them to continue to be here? yong jie could have even been a vehicle to help xing si like idk unpack everything in his brain in a helpful way even through his violation. they chose none of that lmao i could write a better fucking script and im a moron

why should we believe in their love? why should we believe in yong jie? why should we believe in any of these people when they don’t prove shit to us. they just exist. why is that interesting? why do we root for them? that’s certainly not something they even asked themselves cause they sure as shit don’t know. the writing here cannot make up its mind on its own morality and i think the idea of morally grey only works if you have a fucking idea of what you want to do not just throwing shit at a wall. and we feel something for these “morally grey” characters—frankly this term is also a mistake because it’s so much about good/bad and ignores history and peoples lives and what leads to events and it is a super WASP-y concept in its current iteration anyway with a belief that punity is justice when it is not. that is why i say get the fuck away from this dude instead of going to jail. we could see yong jie grow but FUCKING OUTSIDE OF XING SI.

aey from lovely writer is one where im like wow i feel so bad 4 u i think ur gonna like kill urself someone get this messy ass bitch some help. people hate this kid and they totally can! i feel bad for him! dont love him and maybe i wont even want the best for him but rn im like “omg i dont want u 2 die sir.”

i dont feel that way in many other shows. i feel fucking nothing for these men. not yong jie and not even the old guy from modc im just like ok you exist and i’m going to ignore you. there is nothing in my chest lmao. i look at them and feel cold, couldnt be drier, cos it’s stale and boring and trite and nothing new at all. it’s not realisitc and it’s not even entertaining. it’s just...there. 

i mean it’s there with the reminder of “oh man i am not interested in your love story also isn’t your boyfriend like 40 and you’re 17? why do you like each other again? does this kid have parents? Wait, what’s happening? uhhhh am i supposed to like this? where are his parents? what’s gonna happen when he turns 23 and realizes how fucked up that shit is? can we see that?” and before u know it the sex on screen is over so that was just unpleasant all around.

and i cannot give u a single reason for so many couples why they like each other. like literally what on earth is there for the two of these people to be attracted to. at least one is being swayed by power but what’s the other one doing? oh nothing he just sucks? ok got it.

if we don’t approach it from a “how do we get people to like a shitty person or a person who does things that harms others” it continues on like this. questioning questioning questioning the comfortableness and never thinking about what the fuck the victim can do, what the fuck is even going on in their heads. and if they can’t do that then we go back to the question: what is the purpose of it? if the answr is “just because” then you have a failure on your hands and a lot of annoyed people. sorry not sorry 

[gildedmuse]

Sora: Warrior Of The Sea

(A RedHawk Production)

Cavendish's constantly flirting with Law, because hey if it gets him a bigger role....

Zoro isn't sure why exactly, but he wants to punch Cavendish in the face. He's suggested (to Luffy, in private) that his character gets to do so multiple times. Luffy thinks it's hilarious. Of course Zoro wants to punch Cavendish.

Zoro: No, I mean our characters...

Luffy: Shishishi that doesn't make sense, Zoro. Why would Daichi punch Cavendish when Torao isn't even in the show.

Zoro: *grumbles* It had nothing to do with Torao.

Luffy: Unless---!!! Did Torao put himself in the next show? Who does he play? Does he have a costume? Is it awesome?

Zoro: What? No, of course he didn't -- You know you can read the scripts, right?

Luffy: That's boring. I'd rather see what happens. Although I'll bet I know what part Torao would give himself if he did!

Zoro: Someone with puppet string powers so he could force Ace and I to act more like the manga?

Luffy: Shishi, Zoro's always so funny. Noooooo, stupid. *Beaming up at him, like he knows a secret* I know what Torao would do. Torao would play a character that got to kiss Daichi! Shishishi.

Zoro: W-what?! *Under his breath, as if anyone cares about their conversation enough to listen in or would be surprised by this* Stop messing around, Luffy! Idiot! Why would you say something like that?

Luffy: Cause then he'd get to kiss ZORO. And in front of everyone, too, just like he wanted to- mmfff!

Zoro: Luffy! *jolts forward to cover Luffy's mouth* H-he does not want to--! No one wants to--! *Sighs, letting go before Luffy gets bored and starts licking his palm. He totally knows him too well* What a stupid thing to say.

Luffy: *Pouting beacuse it was NOT a stupid thing to say and he doesn't understand why Zoro is being so mean and weird when Luffy is being so helpful!* No it's not! Torao watched all - *Makes a longing sort of face, but tries to glare as well, the way Law does* - when Ace and Zoro kissed at the party last year. *Frowns at the memory, pointing an accusing finger in Zoro's face* Zoro is the stupid one for making Torao spend the rest of the party pouting in the back. He wouldn't even come watch me and Carrot have an eating contest and that was super fun!

Zoro: *Eye twitching* You moron, that's not the reason Law didn't want to watch you two eat. Anyway, he's always like that. He probably didn't even want to go to that stupid party in the first place.

Luffy: Everyone loves parties. Torao was probably having tons of fun until Ace and Zoro kissed, and it's worse because everybody saw!

Zoro: *Starts to ask why that’s so important but stops because Luffy logic* What does it matter? It was just some stupid party game. And Torao didn’t seem to mind when Cavendish kissed him earlier! 

Luffy: But Torao didn’t go all red after and tell everyone how good at kissing Cavendish is. 

Zoro: *Flushes all over again just at the memory. He might have been slightly tipsy. and as luck would have it Ace IS a really, really good kisser. In a way Zoro had not been expecting,*

Luffy: *Eyes go wide* That's why Torao wants to kiss Daichi! Then maybe Zoro will think Torao is an even better kisser than Ace AND everyone would see it so then they’d all know that Zoro belonged to Torao and likes Torao more! 

Zoro: *Knew that he’d regret learning Luffy’s logic behind the importance of everyone seeing him kiss someone* That’s not how tha-- Wait, no. *Shakes head, not believing he’s been dragged into this* I told you, Todorao didn’t write himself in the show. And if he did, he wouldn’t make a character who kissed Daichi. It wouldn’t be “like the original”. I, uh, flipped through the manga just to see if there were some better fights coming up. *Will die before he admits he read the whole series because Law seemed so upset he’d heard of it before* Daichi already has a love interest. It’s....*Shudders* Poison Pink. They even kiss this episode. *Looks like a man condemned at the thought that he’s going to have to kiss Perona of all people.* See it's right.... *Skimming the script, frowning when he can't find the page.*

Luffy: Shishishi. Only Zoro could lose his way inside a script!

Zoro: I didn’t get lost! It was here in the last draft I swear. *Flushing less out of embarrassment more of anger* Perona made me practice. Apparently my kissing isn’t “cute” enough for the princess. 

Luffy: Hmm.... *Thinks about Perona threatening Zoro to practice so he doesn’t gross her out while everyone is watching* 

Luffy: *Thinks about Perona being all gleeful cause she gets to boss Zoro around, even if it’s just telling him how he should kiss her. She’d probably make him do it again and again just so she got to keep bossing him around.* 

Luffy: *Pictures a mini Law peaking into the dressing room and seeing Perona get kissed by Zoro* 

Luffy: You should practice the kissing scene with Torao! *said loud enough that any crew member that hadn't picked up on the tension definitely knew now*

Luffy: *Pictures Law at a typewriter angrily slamming down  on the keys, furiously rewriting the scene*

Zoro: *an interesting shade of red* Wh-what are you talking about! And keep your voice down!

Luffy: Well, usually I help you remember your lines, because you're terrible at it.

Zoro: I am not! They just change too much that's all!

Luffy: But what if I couldn't help with the kissing scene because.... Hmm.... Because I was busy helping Ace!

Zoro: *Sweatdrop* I'm not sure that sounds right.... You should probably just say you don’t want to.

Luffy: So you'd have to ask Torao!

Zoro: Why would I--!! And besides *Shakes script in Luffy’s face* the kissing scene is gone. *So fucking relieved* 

Luffy: Oh, right.... Oh,  I know! I’ll bet Shanks would put it back in if we asked!

Zoro: No!

Luffy: But then you'd have a reason to kiss Torao! Though I guess you’d have to practice where everyone could watch, but we practice out on set all the time so just so that. And you wouldn't have to punch anybody!

Zoro: ...... I'd still want to punch Cavendish.

Luffy: Hmm… Well, maybe you could kiss Torao then punch Cavendish.

Zoro: *Doesn't reply, because this seems like a pretty good deal*

There's one time Luffy convinced Law to give in and try on the Sora costume. Bon Clay adores Luffy so it's not at all difficult to talk him into letting the two of them borrow it. Admittedly, Law feels a little ridiculous about how excited Luffy gets over playing dress up, but also.... He /does/ kinda want to try it on. Just to see. Still, he's determined to be seen as professional and not like a total fanboy at work so he makes Luffy swear not to tell a soul and promises himself he'll only try it on for a minute.

So naturally the second he's done up, Luffy runs off to get Zoro so he can see how cool Torao looks as Sora. Zoro gets pulled out of his trailer half dressed in his own costume - he's used to Luffy grabbing him and dragging him places with no explanation - only to be shoved into a small dressing room with a very flushed, embarrassed looking Law all dressed up like his childhood hero.

Luffy has to prompt him to tell Torao how badass he looks, seeing as Zoro is just /staring/ at Law. Not even at the costume, just at Law. That's wrong and boring as far as Luffy's concerned so he finally jumps in telling Zoro what to say. Which Zoro still managed to screw up by replying to, "Doesn't Torao look totally cool as Sora?" With, "Mmm, so cute." Before realizing, shit, said that outloud

Fellow writer Robin just happens to peek into the room while looking for Law in that moment and catches Zoro stuttering a correction while Law goes from embarrassed to full on smug, leaning closer to Zoro and flirtatiously asking "But what do you think of the costume?" enjoying the way Zoro's skin goes all flushed.

Robin decides she doesn't need Law that much at the moment, but she does secretly snap a photo on her phone. She's a total Daichi/Sora shipper. She has a secret account online where she writes fanfic of the two. She somehow managed to get a picture of Ace and Zoro in full costumes making out that no one can explain.

She watches the two of them for a moment before quietly backing out, smiling the whole time. She has so many plans for these two now.

I feel like Zoro would not care about awards at all, but notices that Law gets a bit more bitchy when award season comes around. Which means it does matter to him (even though he hasn't cared about them with past projects, the Sora show is very important to him. He just wants to see it get the recognition it deserves). So when there is a surprise upset and Zoro ends up winning Best Supporting Actor In A Drama Series, he doesn't even give a real speech but whatever. But when they end up landing Best Drama Series and all his co-workers erupt in excitement, Zoro can't help getting caught up in Law's barely hidden gleefulness and without thinking grabs him, pulling him in for a kiss.

Not even like a /good/ kiss. Less "I'm going to absolutely devour you", more "I'm so happy for you" mixed with a touch of, "God you're so cute when you get all over excited you dork". He has to lean down two rows, over Luffy's head, to grab Law by the back of his jacket just to pull him in for a quick, sloppy kiss. But it still managed to shock the fuck out of Law. He's so used to being the one to flirt with/tease an embarrassed Zoro that the kiss is more surprising than the win.

Luffy totally gives him a thumbs up of approval and well done high five that Law does not remember at all. Luckily for him, he accepts the award alongside Mihawk, Shanks, Hiyori, Jinbe and Benn so he isn't actually expected to speak at all. Which is a good thing, because even by the time backstage interviews start he's still a little lost. Not helped by reports straight up asking him about the kiss.

Thank God Shanks can talk about anything for forever. Benn mercifully removes Law from in front of cameras and let's Shanks dazzle/annoy them with another "When RedHawk Productions was just starting out....." story that he has an endless supply of

Corazon - the show runner from the first show Law ever worked on, who took Law under his wing - finds Law almost immediately and pulls him into a hug. Law finally starts to shake out if it and thanks Corazon for his support and believing him, congratulating him on the success of his miniseries Dressrosa, etc.

Corazon is immediately in there with, "Why didn't you tell me? Who is that boy? I mean I know who the boy is. Why didn't you tell me you were dating Roronoa Zoro!? Oh my God, is what they said about him and those two actresses true!? Is he going to do that to you? How could you not tell me!"

@randommouseclick

Law: Boa's trying to get into Mugiwara-ya's shorts, Perona's along for kicks and Zoro's a fucking himbo who's interested in neither.

Law: Do you REALLY think I'd let him get away with that shit, if it WAS true?

@gildedmuse

Corazon just WORRIES. Law is so innocent in certain ways. Cora doesn't want him to be taken advantage of.

Anyone Who Has Ever Met Law: Umm......

Corazon, Prior To Meeting Zoro: Anyway, *lights a cigarette while calm and collected* I'll speak with him first to make certain. No point getting attached to a bad element.

Corazon, Upon Meeting Zoro: Oh my God! *Pulls Zoro into a hug, tears streaming down eyes* Thank you so much for loving Law! I'm sure you two will be happy together for the rest of your lives.

Corazon making some poor camera man take pictures of the two of them like it's fucking prom.

Nami is Zoro's agent. Switching from representing a Stunt Coordinator/Performer to an actor with a starring role in what eventually turns out to be a hugely popular series had not been in her plans. On the one hand, her cut just went from 6 to 10 percent, and on top of his general pay raise that makes for a rather good take away. On the other hand, her job just got way more complicated. Stunt guys rarely have whole sections of the internet dedicated to them. They certainly don't end up with their picture in the trades alongside names like Boa Hancock. She's definitely had to earn that additional 4%.

Her main goal is to convince Zoro to keep taking similar (paying) roles while keeping him as far from the press as possible. Because every time you put this boy in front of a camera without a script it's a goddamn disaster. If he somehow managed not to piss off the media establishment due to him not giving a fuck then his fans - when the hell did Zoro get fans? She took this kid on as a favor! It was supposed to be easy - are probably throwing an absolute fit.

When this phenomena first starts happening with Hancock she calls up in a panic. WHY is Zoro always being photographed around her? Please don't say he's trying to hit on Boa Fucking Hancock. Do you know how fast that woman could sink his career? Possibly even Nami's!? That's how powerful this woman is and for god's sake won't Zoro just stay away. The press is having a goddamn field day wondering what their relationship is and Nami is shocked Hancock's personal security hasn't escorted him off the set of his own TV show.

By the time he kisses Law, Nami has learned to just roll with the punches. She's watching the ceremony live. Less than thirty seconds after it happens her phone blows up. This time it's the fans who are wondering who this mysterious sexy stranger is (a question that is answered literally less than a minute later when the show introduce who will be accepting the award, but that doesn't stop the topic from somehow trending), freaking out about Zoro maybe being gay, and theorizing about Hancock and Perona helping him stay in the closet by manufacturing all that drama. This is almost three years since he was hired for the show so by now Nami just shoots him a text like, "You're probably going to be asked about kissing that man since you did it on camera in the middle of the award show".

She is a little afraid when she gets the reply "laws realt cute when hes all happy huhh??" But only because it means Zoro's drunk. She's never actually seen Zoro drunk. She's not sure how much alcohol it would have taken. But she just texts her friend Robin to let her know if Zoro dies of alcohol poisoning and then heads into bed. That's how chill she's gotten over the last three years (also it's 12% now that he's won an award).

[mermaidcashton]

i hate to admit it

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship: michael clifford/reader prompt/AU: this is a gift for the wonderful @h0tsos who wanted soft, subby Michael in an enemies to lovers capacity (and i snuck some coffee shop!au in there as well, and some weebness because, well, it’s Steff and Michael) wordcount: 4k+ warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (which was a gift exchange this time around) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘this means war’ by mariana’s trench • ‘my hero academia’ is a manga/anime series. there are references to it and a few of the characters in this but you don’t need to know anything about it to understand what’s going on.

i hate to admit it *** “So, they’re like...superheroes?” 

Luke sipped on his glass of rosé, nodding like he understood whilst making a face that showed he absolutely did not.

“Yeah, dude, pretty much!” Michael nodded along with your co-worker with so much enthusiasm he looked like one of those dogs people put on their dashboards. Except less cute. Wait, no - not cute. Definitely not cute at all. Good save, you. Couldn’t have your own internal monologue thinking you felt anything for the moron you were forced to work with 3 times a week was anything more than an annoyance you had to endure. With a butt that wouldn’t quit. Dammit, self! 

Michael took advantage of Luke showing an interest in his (and yours) favourite anime, and began bombarding him with half baked theories, predictable favourite scenes and shitty character analysis. He nearly knocked his own hat off as he flailed his hands around in an attempt at explaining the dynamics of a battle from the second season. Luke smiled politely. 

You snorted into your drink as you drained the last of it; you were definitely going to need another. If Michael started fanboying over Deku again, you were going to scream.

As you placed the empty bottle onto the wood of the coffee table, you took another glance around the apartment you were in. You’d never been up here before, despite spending a minimum of 20 hours a week in the coffee shop downstairs. But after this evening’s staff meeting tackling such issues as ‘who forgot that milk needs to be kept in the fridge overnight’ (Luke), ‘who is putting too much whipped cream on hot chocolates’ (Michael), and ‘who wrote ‘THIS COFFEE IS HOT, BUT U R HOTTER ❤ ) on a customers caramel macchiato’ (Luke again), Ashton had invited you all upstairs for a ‘employee chill’. You had been surprised a week or so into your employment when you had found out that the manager was also the owner who lived in the apartment above Screamin’ Beans; he was only in his mid twenties, but the more you’d experienced his drive and determination, the more your surprise had dwindled. Ashton really was a great guy, with one big flaw; Michael. They had been best friends for years, hence him moving into the apartment when he came back into town and the job Ashton had given him; which in your humble opinion was the equivalent of setting a monkey loose on the milk frother.   

Michael had sealed his fate with you the same day he’d started work. He arrived 10 minutes late (from upstairs), sleepy eyed and shy smiled. His fluffy blonde hair was spilling out of his beanie, and he kept biting his very pink lip bottom with sharp little teeth. The way he pronounced your name was adorable. You’d burned your hand on the espresso machine. Strike one. Things unravelled quickly after that. He was ‘too shy’ to take orders and work the register so you were stuck there all day talking to goddamn customers about why it wasn’t a good idea to have 3 pumps of every syrup while he hid behind silver machinery and dirtied way more jugs than you deemed necessary. Strike two. And then he’d dropped a latté into that ladies bag - sorry, very expensive bag. Michael had let out a ‘uuuhhh’ sound like a malfunctioning robot without moving for so long that the furious customer had stopped trying to yell at him and focused her rage on you instead. When he had eventually come to whatever passed for his senses, Michael had power walked into the employee bathroom and didn’t return until Calum arrived to join the shift and assured him the woman had left, twenty minute later. You were beyond strikes. You’d been so sure you could talk Ashton into scheduling you together as little as possible. There was no reason to put you down to work nearly every shift together, especially shifts where only two staff were on! Except, apparently there was because he kept fucking doing it. Every time you pressed Ashton on it, he’d say something about how he needed Michael ‘trained by the best’, or ‘matching availabilities’, or he thought their ‘energies combined well; auras are meshing, y’know?’ The one might have been on you for catching him as he was returning from his Vibe Check Yoga class at the studio down the street. 

He’d also emphasised that Michael needed more friends now he was back in the city, and you two had loads in common! You both liked pop punk! You’d rolled your eyes. And Italian food! A ‘tch noise. And anime! Okay, you’d bite. 

The next time you’d gone into work, you’d engaged Michael in a conversation about ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and recommended ‘Demon Slayer’; things started to pick up. You didn’t fantasise about locking Michael in the walk-in fridge the whole shift. And then…

“You watch ‘My Hero Academia’, right?” “Uh, yeah! I love it.” “Me too! I just ordered a Todoroki tee yesterday. And another Deku one, of course; gotta rep my main man!” “Oh..cool! He’s your favourite?” Of course Michael was a basic bitch. But hey, that’s fine. Deku was fine. He was the main character, after all. And he’s a little less whiny in the recent manga issues, you guess. And the way Michael’s face was right now - open, comfortable, lit up like the 4th of July? That was good, too. His eyes were so green.  “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character?” “Well, I would die for a bunch of ‘em, but I’m a Bakugou girl at heart.” You laid a palm flat on your chest, choosing to ignore the feel of your heart beating faster than it had been five minutes ago beneath it.  Michael wrinkled his nose. “Bakugou? But he’s like...he’s so mean! And angry!”

Oh no. You’d had this conversation before. You locked eyes with Michael, hoping he could see the warning in your eyes. Don’t do it, ho.

“Like, he’d probably make a better villain than hero!”

“You okay, boo?” Calum slid into the space on the couch beside you, holding out a fresh beer for you to take. “You look deep in thought.”

You hummed and accepted the bottle from him, letting go of your train of thought as you caught sight of Luke trying to prove he could get his overly long leg behind his head. Michael and Ashley F. were both actively trying to avoid getting kicked in the face with a sparkly boot, whilst Ashton was just monitoring the situation very intently; you’re not entirely sure when he last blinked. 

You snorted again as Luke’s foot slotted into place in a position you were 85% sure he would not be able to get out of again without assistance, possibly from the emergency services.

“I’m fine. Gotta be one of us capable of thinking here, y’know.” You teased, looking sidelong at Calum. He laughed, rubbing a hand over his freshly shaved hair; he’d always been as easy to get along with as he was obnoxiously handsome. “Hey! You’re lucky I know you’re talking about the human pretzel over there! And I guess, your boyf-” Big brown eyes glittered at you over the hand you’d slapped over his mouth. “-fwendth.” Narrowing your own eyes at your friend, you hissed. “Shut up! I would rather die.” Calum waggled his eyebrows incessantly at you until you relented and dropped your hand. “You knew who I was talking about, though.” Ugh. Smug was not a good look on Calum. “You know, smug is not a good lo-oh fuck, is that the time?” The clock behind Calum’s head showed 8:58; your auction ended at 9:00. You fumbled into your bag for your phone, unlocking it and flicking straight to the app you needed. Phew - still the top bid. “Whatcha doin’?” Calum hooked his chin over your shoulder, blowing your hair out of his face before settling down. 

“Bidded on a really cool, limited edition figure. One of my all time favourite anime characters. The auction is about to end.” You explained,  making sure Calum could hear you other the cacophony of sounds associated with Luke trying to get his other leg behind his head. You both watched the seconds tick down, your username sitting securely by the words ‘Winning Bid’. At two seconds to nine, the page refreshed, then refreshed again; it was over.

‘Winning Bid: BIGRED69’ “Uh...what happened? That’s not you, right?” Calum asked, tilting his head to look at your face, and the rage it contained. BIGRED69. He’d done it again. 

“Uh oh, Y/N - what’s wrong?” Ashton’s voice pulled you out of your internal screaming, and you looked up at him. 

“She’s losing her weeb shit at a heavy eBay loss” Calum answered for you, nodding solemnly as he pulled away from you, giving you room to bonk him with a cushion. “Oh! That’s too bad, but that’s another thing you and Mikey have in common!” Ashton beamed. “Mikey!” Oh no. Oh no, no.

“Yeah?” Michael sloped over, getting his black boot caught on the corner of the leopard print rug as he did. Ashton caught him with an ease you suspected (knew) came from practice. “Why don’t you take Y/N to see your anime dolls? She collects them, too!” Ashton looked so pleased with himself and his suggestion for further ‘bonding’ for you and Michael, and Michael looked like he’d been force fed raw lemon at the phrase ‘anime dolls’, so you let it go on your own behalf. Except now Michael was waiting expectantly for you to follow him to his room and Calum was shoving you off of the couch to get you moving. Fuck your life. You sighed as you got up and started walking. “Fine, let’s go; you can show me your Todoroki body pillow and then we can get on with our lives.” Michael let out a small hiss like an angry kitten, his cheeks colouring a pretty pink. He spared a glance at everyone left in your wake. “I, um, don’t have a body pillow, you guys.” “Suuuuure!” You rolled your eyes, waiting for Michael to enter his bedroom so you could follow. The blonde flicked the light on and moved slightly further in so you could pass him, before shutting the door with a small ‘click’. You decided not to comment on this action, looking around at the posters on the walls and figurines on the shelves instead. You were undecided on whether or not you were going to comment on how cool a lot of Michael’s shit was. A ‘Full Metal Alchemist’ poster over his bed, a full shelf of Funko Pops from movies you loved, framed prints of album artwork by Waterparks and The Maine. Fuck. You were really aware of Michael staring at you with an almost hopeful (?) look on his face as you let your eyes travel around his room before he could show you his ‘anime dolls’. Fuck. Your stomach felt fluttery, and you thought you might have a serious problem here, before you caught sight of a very different problem on Michael’s desk. 

A rare Kirishima Eijirou statue - box signed by the voice actor - you’d been outbid on last month. By BIGRED69. What were the chances a different one was sitting by Michael’s laptop?

“So,” You said, trying to keep your voice neutral and non-murderous. “Where do you get your collectibles from?” “Forbidden Planet, Tokyo Toys, eBay…” Michael rattled off, until you interrupted him. “Where did you get that one? Looks rare - it must have been difficult!” 

“Oh! eBay! It was, but I have an app for it, so…” Michael grinned, looking pleased with himself. An app? “An automatic bidding app? You sniped me?! That’s cheating!” You squeaked; you could not believe this. It was unbelievable.

Michael blinked at you, head empty. “BIGRED69?!” You managed to make the world’s stupidest screen name sound like a terrible accusation. Which it was.

Comprehension dawned on his stupid, beautiful face all at once. “Oh my God! That was you that I’ve been fighting for this stuff? No way! But you didn’t know it was me?”

“Why the hell would I know it was you!” You threw your hands up, and Michael just stared dopily back at you.

“‘Bigred69?! Obviously I assumed you were 12!” Michael let out a squawk of protest, before folding his arms defensively across his chest.

“Clifford!” “What?” Michael’s tone became more insistent. “My last name! Clifford!” You pulled an exaggerated ‘so?!’ face, throwing your hand in the air again. 

Michael had the unmitigated gall to huff, like you were the biggest idiot in the room; like he wasn’t always the biggest idiot in every room, all rooms, ever, in the history of rooms. “Clifford the Big Red Dog!” He said, insistence heavy in the words.

You often swore you could almost hear the old internet dial up tone trilling inside Michael’s brain when customers at the coffee shop asked him such difficult questions as “What dairy alternative milks do you carry?”, “Where is the bathroom?”, and even once - you swear - “What’s your name?”. In Michael’s defence, that last one had been asked in more flirtatious-than-not tone by a brunette who clearly had some kind of vision problem (he’d been dressed more horrendously than usual that day beneath his uniform apron; was that a utility vest?!), but had fluttered her eyelashes at your idiot colleague so hard, for so long, you’d been concerned she’d be leaving without what little vision she’d arrived with. But still. Idiot. Michael, not you. And yet, now it was you with your brain puttering through the information you had with the shrill electronic sound of the 90’s in your head. “Clifford the- are you for fucking real?” This could not be real life.

“It’s totally clever!” Michael asserted, continuing in earnest once you scoffed in reply. “No, listen! Because of Clifford, and also, I had red hair when I made it, and 69 is funny - it is! - and, well-” His face flushed slightly before he puffed his chest out a little, apparently deciding to commit to his defence of his screen name. “I’m big, so it works on like, loads of levels!” 

This could not be happening to you. You were decidedly not standing in the bedroom of a coworker you simultaneously couldn’t stand and also couldn’t stop thinking about kissing as you restocked the counter fridges in the evenings, as he explained that his auction site handle was a combination of a previous dye job, an insinuation about his dick and a massive fucking dog. You could not let Michael have the upper hand here, but you were floundering. So you fell into more familiar, more pathetic territory. 

“If you were called something like ‘deku-loving-loser’, then, sure - I would have known it was you!” “Who’s 12 now?!” “Uh, still you!” Okay, so this wasn’t your finest moment, but you were in it now. And you’d really wanted the Kaminari figure tonight. Michael didn’t even like him that much!

“The point is, you totally sniped me! And you get stuff about basic canon wrong! And your understanding of the characters is one dimensional! And, and...your hat is stupid!” Well, shit. In your defence, Michael’s hat was stupid. You could feel how hot your face was, and Michael’s eyes looking right at it was only making it worse. You couldn’t read his expression at all; he looked like he was searching for something, and you didn’t know what it was, or if he’d find it. You could only assume he had when he took the most decisive steps you’d ever seen him take, reaching you in two huge steps and cupping your face with both hands. Michael kissed in a way he didn’t do anything else; he felt sure and certain as he pressed his lips to yours, moving them with intent. Your brain became overtaken with television static almost immediately as you moved your mouth in time with his, opening your mouth immediately at the questioning press of his tongue. You had enough of yourself left aware to yank his stupid fucking hat off his head as you tangled your fingers in his blonde hair, Michael’s hands sliding down to clutch at your waist as you swayed with the kiss. As Michael pulled back ever so slightly, you took the opportunity to press your teeth into his plush bottom lip, the way you’d thought of doing in afternoon slumps on shift. The whine that came from deep in Michael’s throat made a split second decision for you. 

You pulled back further from Michael, yanking your top off in one go and starting in on the buttons of his black shirt before he fully registered the sight of your bra and the top of your full breasts.  

“Shit, Y/N, are you…” Michael trailed off as you pulled his sleeves down his arms, and the shirt off this body. Your eyes met his as you popped the button on his black jeans and placed your hand on his zipper. “Do you really want me to overthink this, Michael?” A moment’s pause, then he shook his head vigorously, leaning down to pull his boots off once you’d yanked his jeans to his knees. By the time he was left in his (funnily enough, black) boxer briefs, you’d discarded your own jeans and were knelt at the foot of his bed in your soft, lilac underwear. Michael’s breath hitched as his gaze drifted down your body, taking it all in under the artificial light of the room. “Get over here, Clifford…” You teased, trying not to second guess what was happening. Michael broke out of his trance and more or less threw himself onto the bed, settling his head on the pillows and pulling you on top of him for another kiss, and then another, and another. By the time you pulled back to catch your breath, your head was spinning. You braced yourself on your forearms on the bed, taking the time to admire Michael’s body beneath you. 

You’d seen the tattoos on his pale, strong arms before, but they looked different in this context; the contrast between the milky skin and dark ink made your stomach swoop. The blonde hair on his head is also a contradiction; to the dark hair on his chest and the hair trailing down his stomach and disappearing under his waistband. Your mouth felt very dry as you let your gaze continue downward, to the straining bulge beneath the fabric.

You flicked your eyes back to meet Michael’s in question, your fingers suddenly resting on the waistband of his underwear. Michael swallowed thickly, and then nodded once before fixing you with a gaze of pure anticipation. 

No use waiting around. You propped yourself up onto your knees over him and pulled on the fabric decisively, not stopping your motion until his underwear bunched up at his ankles. Holy shit.

You always knew Michael had to have at least one redeeming quality, and you’d finally found it. His cock was huge, hanging heavy and hard between his fuzzy thighs. The head was flushed the darkest pink you could ever remember seeing, and the slit was already shiny with precum. 

If a voice in your head that sounded unfortunately like Calum pressed that Michael had lots of qualities you secretly found redeeming, you ignored it in favour of getting straight to business.

“FUCK! FUCKIN-” 

Apparently, Michael hadn’t been prepared for you to take half of his impressive length into your mouth in one go. You sucked with intent, casting your eyes up to take in the sight of him. His pupils were already starting to blow, and you’d barely done anything. God, that was so sweet.

But then Michael threaded his fingers through your hair, his hand pressing ever so slightly into your scalp. The blonde wasn’t pushing down, but his grip was firm. You could feel the weight of his hand on the top of your head as you held his cock in your mouth, and that shit? Would not stand.

You grab the wrist brushing your hair a second before your other hand finds his idle one, fingers twisted loosely in the sheets. Once you��ve captured both wrists, you guide both to the same point above Michael’s hips, before slamming both into the mattress with purpose. 

If you’d had time to think about it, you’re not sure how you would have expected Michael to react. He didn’t really put out the energy of a man who’d properly fight you for control, either in a domineering way or with more of an air of fragile masculinity. Perhaps a bit of questioning but ultimately compliant as long as he got his dick sucked. But the wanton moan that kicked out of Michael’s chest as you settled into a tight grip on his wrists where you had them pinned on the sheets with intent? That was unexpected. That was interesting.   

Your mouth had remained still on his cock whilst you got his wrists pinned down, more cockwarming him than blowing him. But now you had him so pliant and under your control, it was go time. You pulled back up his cock, wrapping your lips tightly around the head of Michael’s cock, and sucked with gusto. Another groan from above you. You worked your tongue all the way around the head before pulling back enough to flick it into Michael’s sensitive slit. “Oh my fuuu- Y/N, God, I-” Michael was starting to writhe, his hairy legs rubbing into the sheets beneath you. You could feel his wrists moving along with the rest of his body, but you knew you’d made it clear you’d wanted him pinned, and he made no move to get his hand free. Good boy. You sank steadily back down Michael’s length, at least to the six inch mark, before pulling back up, hollowing your cheeks as you went. Back down a little further, then up, back to teasing the head, using your tongue. Michael couldn’t predict what you were going to do next, and it was clearly pushing all of his buttons. You could taste the precum that his cock kept kicking out into your mouth and throat, and see the flush spreading down his neck. By the time you’d pulled, drool beginning to build at the sides of your mouth, Michael was a mess, moaning as much as he was breathing. This could get addictive, you thought to yourself as you let your mouth drop to his balls, and your thumbs press into the pulse points on his wrists. You hummed before you released his left ball from your mouth with a wet pop, and that’s when Michael started begging. “Please, please, Y/N, I wanna-” he panted, cutting himself off over and over. “You’re so beautiful, lemme- God, fuck, it feels so amazing, you’re- I’ve been good, I’ll do anything, please…”

You pretend to consider his pleas as you dragged your tongue over his right ball, dipping into all the creases and leaving them wet behind you. Drawing back up onto your knees, you released one of his wrists so you could push his sweaty blonde bangs back from where it was plastered to his forehead, drinking in the vision before you. His green eyes were nearly completely black, blown out with arousal. The sheen on the skin of his face and body made him glow. His lips were chapped from his teeth tugging on them, and the pink of the matched the flush spread from his cheeks down his chest. And the wrist you were no longer restraining hadn’t moved a centimeter, still pressed firmly to the mattress. Michael was a good boy. And you knew how to treat good boys. With no preamble, you took Michael back into the wet heat of your mouth, relaxing your throat and not stopping until your nose was buried in the soft thatch of trimmed hair on his crotch. You took a moment to situate yourself and enjoy the deep whines bursting out of Michael’s throat into the quiet of his bedroom, before you began to move again, swallowing around his cock. You saw his thighs begin to tremble to the side of you before you heard him speak. “Fuck, fuck, Y/N, please, I’m gonna-” You hummed as hard as you could, pushing Michael’s wrists with that little bit more force into the bed as you did. Michael let out his loudest whine yet - bordering on a sob- as he came, shooting down your throat as he writhed beneath you. 

You swallowed everything he gave you, and when you were sure he was finished, you pulled off slowly, and gently, releasing his wrists as you stood back up on your knees.

Michael looked blissed out, staring dreamily up at you with bright, adoring eyes. He still was yet to move his hands. “Hey.” “Hi.” You smirked down at him. “I believe I heard something about you’d ‘do anything’?” You shot a quick glance at the figurine on his desk, and down at yourself. “I had some ideas…” 

collab masterlist • my masterlist