#this is why no one likes garleans

[fell-court]

The team is all here together at last, for what feels like one of the first times ever!~

From screen left to right: Omen (@ex-garlean), Lorenza (me, @fell-court), S'ria (@snow-system-wol), K'pheli (@crystal-verse), and Nimda (@soothingmind)!

[fooltofancy]

hate him.

[meowww-ffxiv]

I make a single OC who's 100+ years old and I'm already oooo oooooo we can fit so much shit into this guy.

I think vieras who lived among other races and who outlived many of them would develop a kind of strange in-between of being a tired old person and being...well, their age, in viera years. And then if they had partners who passed before them...

Cooking, cooking.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

oh also i started playing ffxiv again. had 2 keep myself sane while i argued over email with these people. anyway they did NOT have to ramp up that hard in the last two expansions but i'm confusedly clapping i guess??

[blossom-of-kaleidos]

welp i've got a genshin url ready to go if this new hyperfixation really has dug its claws into me that deeply

[windupaidoneus]

now some people may not like to hear it but even the worst people who exist are still people & there is no human being who has More right than others to decide whether others deserve to live or die (does not mean i personally condemn murder in self defense or anything of the sort or killing fascists or whatever i'm just saying as a baseline This Is How it Is) & this is why the death penalty is not a good thing no matter how good & trustworthy the people in any government might be. people on average also deserve the chance to learn to do better. & no, someone who's been forcefed propaganda their entire life will not let go of that deeply entrenched mindset so easily, it's not particularly unrealistic & it absolutely sucks to deal with but in the context of tangibly working toward world peace it's also not an issue to try & help such people both in material ways & in helping them learn better rather than cut them down or abandon them to a grim fate. all this to say that's why i don't think garlemald is written badly, as unpleasant as the experience might be. walks off the stage

[desertdragon]

The saddest thing whenever I visit Forgotten Springs is how uncomfortable you can tell most U Tribe are having their isolation disturbed and their land forcibly opened by outsiders, "put up with their grasping ways" as U'mollpa says, and then in the distance of the skybox is the giant Saucer casino that they don't even see profit from despite it being on their ancestral land

[astrxealis]

i love zenos so much

[picaroroboto]

Do you remember that NPC in Garlemald who, when you approach them, seems to have war flashbacks to the WoL killing dozens of their fellow soldiers at the Praetorium? I don't understand why some people make light of this moment, or brush aside the fact that in canon the WoL has killed a lot of people. Yes, it's usually Garlean soldiers or Beastmen or others who intend to harm others, and it's almost always in the name of justice, freedom, protecting others, the greater good, etc. But they do still take lives.

Chances are some of those soldiers they've killed are ones who believed the Empire's espoused goal of controlling the world in order to protect it from greater threats like Primals and Ascians. It's a disgusting and patronizing idea, but if you're someone who's grown up in a war-like nation you might have no reason to question it. Hell, Varis believes it wholeheartedly even though Emet-selch repeatedly tells him that he founded the Empire only as a trigger for Calamities and Rejoinings. The thing is that the Garleans believe they're doing the "right thing" too. So do the Ascians, if only for the "greater good" of their own people to the exlcusion of everything and everyone else. And everything that the Garleans and Ascians did in the name of their beliefs and greater good is wrecked by Fandaniel and Zenos, who proudly claim not to believe in anything and scorn ideas of right and wrong.

In the end, what makes you "the hero" and them "the villains" - what, if anything, makes you better than them? It's not that you don't kill or harm people, because you do. It's not just that you kill presumably less than they do, because measuring lives as numbers is a disgusting thing. We could say that it's simply because the narrative always sides with you in the end, but that's a really boring and unsatisfying answer.

The answer for me and my WoL at least, is to understand that he's not so different from his enemies. Having a "good reason" to kill doesn't make you justified, and believing you're on the right side of history doesn't make you the hero - that understanding itself is what makes sure that he won't make the same mistakes as the villains.

[uldahstreetrat]

Im trying to take note of real world influences in XIV for some projects going forward, like languages used in areas (French names in Ishgard, Roman terms in Garlemald) or like in aesthetics I suppose (like Radz-at-han in particular reminds me of Istanbul), and I'd like to hear others' thoughts about those kinds of influences that they've noticed

(little more context on things im working on under the cut)

right now this has a lot to do with things like stamps lmao I have in fact gotten kinda into stamp collecting now and I'd like to design some for XIV areas based on similar irl counterpart countries? like regular stamps and stuff like a sort of Garlean version of US postal war savings stamps? so having irl countries to reference for stamp styles would be helpful to like figure that stuff out

and honestly all of this is just part of making a physical copy of Q'ihnn's journal more complicated than it needs to be but never let it be said that I dont have a love of unnecessarily dense world building

plus by having a list of reference countries I can also build out other kinds of like, souvenirs? in the journal from the places visited across msq - a lot of things I see people keep in journals, especially travel ones, are stuff like wrappers or other packaging, pieces of maps, receipts (that's its own rabbit hole ive gone down), ticket stubs, and other various little paper things along with photos and drawings (which are much easier to manage in comparison)

cause a lot of this shit doesnt extensively exist within the game often beyond a mention in a stray line of dialogue or two so there's advantages to having irl cultural and historical reference to make something that feels real - plus im often off in lala fantasy land in my head because im stuck at home a lot, im not exactly well traveled, so im sure its easy for me to miss especially like language use in certain areas (I didnt even notice how French Ishgardian names were until someone else made a joke about it, it just doesnt occur to me)

like some of these influences are fairly obvious, right, like Doma and Kugane being Japanese inspired and Greek influence around Sharlayan (which the Greek/Roman dichotomy that Sharlayan and Garlemald have going on is its own whole thing I could go into btw they're so similar yet different in such interesting ways) - but places like Ul'dah?? not a clue. Ala Mhigo? no idea. The Crystarium and Eulmore in the first??? oh I'd put my head through a wall trying to thing of a real world counterpart for reference

granted now having said that someone is going to point out something obvious that I just entirely missed some way or another lmao but like that's why im asking, right? anyway if you have nerd ass thoughts too just hit me up

[eemamminy-art]

You have turned me from a Zenos hater into a Zenos ambilaventer keep posting and you might manage to turn me into a Zenos lover

If you already hated him though is me drawing him really going to make that big of a difference? 😩 Like I know I give him a fat ass and extremely delicious nose in my artwork but now I feel compelled to give you my tedtalk on why I like zenos lmao

This is about to be really long and also contains spoilers for stormblood, shadowbringers, and endwalker

This might surprise you but I like Zenos for his characterization and storyline in the game itself! The fanart is just kind of a bonus. He's one of many examples in Stormblood of a character that is shaped by their experiences, though I think it's not told as successfully as it is for like, Fordola, Arenvald, or Yotsuyu, because a key part of his backstory was locked to a short story in a print-only book (which I think is out of print now). The most you see of it in the actual game is this blink and you miss it line from Lyse at the very end of 4.0:

(Dialog from the quest "Stormblood", patch 4.0)

What really, really appeals to me about Zenos though, is that he is the personification of depression and that really resonates with me. He has anything he could possibly want, he has accomplished a great many things, but he feels completely hollow inside. He's miserable. He slaughtered countless Domans including their leader and felt nothing, commanded to do it by his father because (as shown in that short story) he only ever was acknowledged to even exist to his father when he practiced violence. So it's a given now, that's what's expected of him and that's all his life is. He's completely desensitized.

He finds one thing that makes him feel alive, that is the warrior of light challenging him, and it becomes his sole focus. Nothing else matters but chasing that high, because every single other thing is a low. After being bested by the warrior of light for the very last time, faced with probably prison for his crimes, he decides to die by his own hand on that high note rather than go back to the drudgery and misery that is everything else.

It's why in endwalker he can be swayed to do something good at the very, very end. He doesn't have a moral compass because he was shaped into an attack dog by his father, he sees "righteousness" as an excuse for war. Because I mean, what else is Garlean propaganda but righteousness from their twisted perspective? He asks Jullus if he would be happier had he a good reason to kill so many garleans after killing his own father— he makes it plain that death is death and there is no justice or good or evil in his eyes. He did have a reason, and it was that his father's use of black rose would likely kill the warrior of light, the only person or thing that gave Zenos any joy in life. Later, it was that Fandaniel dangled the idea that the warrior of light would be attracted to the slaughter and would come running to stop him so he killed more people during the civil war after the emperor's death. But he doesn't need to say that that was why. The reason doesn't matter, he knows the action would not change no matter how it was justified. Even if it was a "good" reason, death is death.

(Dialog from the quest "The Time Between the Seconds", patch 4.0)

(Dialog from the quest "As the Heavens Burn", patch 6.0)

I often see people take Alisaie's part in that scene as her convincing him to be a better person but that's really not what happens. He knows if he takes that action that others perceive as good and helps to stop Endsinger, he could have that high again in facing the warrior of light one more time. He could find joy and meaning, even for a fleeting moment. Then once again end it all because he fears returning to the low monotony of life. It's all over his dialog, especially in Endwalker. The dialog at the very end where he asks the warrior of light if they feel fulfilled, I know is meant to be a bit more of a meta question toward the player themselves, but I'd like to think it's Zenos comparing how different his outlook is to the warrior of light's. The warrior of light has many things keeping them going, whereas Zenos is drowning in despair with only one bright spot that he is constantly chasing time and time again.

(Dialog from the quest "Friends Gathered", patch 6.0)

those three tiny lines can hold so much zenoswol yearning in them AAAAAAAAAAAAA I AM not well

I personally still feel like there was room for him to survive that and to be gently guided into more and more good and try to undo some of that conditioning but I think he might be too polarizing of a character for him to become a permanent ally in canon. Much as I would love to see that! I have to wonder if the mentions of him in the 6.X patches that bounced between positive and negative were testing the waters, but I will leave my tinfoil hat aside because this post is already WAY too long lmao

I understand why people dislike him: they think he enjoys murder because he does it without "a good reason", they don't like how obsessive he becomes toward the warrior of light who is an extension of the player themselves, they don't like that in Fandaniel's scheme in "in from the cold" Zenos is the one inhabiting the warrior of light's body. Totally get it, totally understand.

I'm just saying I see the complexity to him and I find it compelling. Just as I found the overwhelming grief and despair that motivated Nidhogg or Emet-selch or Elidibus to be compelling. I think what people miss though when you like an antagonist is that feeling empathy toward them means you don't feel empathy toward the people they harmed, or that you somehow agree with what they did. But really, I just love seeing these characters that are faced with such tragedy or misery that they start to lose sight of right and wrong. They're driven entirely by emotions. For a story where emotions are literally power, I think it's a really interesting angle to take with the antagonists of that story.

Man, where was I going with this? 😂 I just love Zenos... I don't think I will be convincing anyone to like him who doesn't already, and that's not at all my intent. I just thought I'd share my perspective a little bit after getting this ask!

[rainofaugustsith]

These lines right here sum up why I feel FFXIV has much more superior, nuanced writing than the Star Wars franchise.

Star Wars has you believe that one side is right regardless of what they do, and the other side is so evil, rotten to the core in every way that their entire people, planets. culture, language, religion - everything - should be permanently erased if they can't be converted to an entirely different culture, language, and creed (And don't get me started on how they conveniently made the Sith alphabet - again considered terrabad - virtually identical to the Hebrew alphabet). It's a very black and white, dogmatic view that IMHO hearkens back to the evangelical belief that only one point of view gets to go to heaven, and if you don't believe that, resist converting and want to hang onto your identity, you're going to hell. And you're certainly going to hell if you point out anything questionable the other side has done.

What you discover in FFXIV is nuance.

Every single job can be used for good; every single job can be used for evil. The heroes of one story are the villains of another. Every heroic gesture comes with a very real price. Nobody is beyond reproach, and that includes the player character. Actions one person takes for the greater good can lead to devastating damage for others.

The "get back to nature" white mages rule a city-state where xenophobia rules the day and the elementals run a reign of terror. White magic executed without proper training can be fatal.

The black mages who congregate in a hall for the gods of the dead have an alliance among the marginalized tribes that spans all three city-states and saves Eorzea from calamity. Black magic executed without proper training can be fatal.

The Dark Knights dedicate themselves to protecting those who need their help, and teach that one's dark side isn't something to vanquish, but something to hear, acknowledge and make peace with.

The Dragoon story shows that one's archenemy can become one's ally - or consume them.

The fearsome reapers who treat with the dead are actually helping the downtrodden.

The community working hard to keep the peace and move forward in a productive way are ex-pirates.

And so on. Nobody is expected to forgive those who have wronged them. Atonement is seen as something that involves work on the part of the perpetrator, not the participation of the survivors. But atonement is there and in several cases characters do better.

Any thoughts that any group in Eorzea needs to be eliminated are eventually dispelled completely. Marginalization of various groups is something that eventually does need to be answered for, and is presented as a problem, not a necessity. When Eorzea finally marches on their nemesis, the Garlean Empire, it is on an aid mission, not conquest. There are no attempts to convert. Just to help.

Both Garlemald in Endwalker and Ziost in SWTOR deal with the issue of murderous possessed people. In SWTOR, the Republic - remember, our "good guys" - response with Saresh is to send an invading army to increase the hurt. In FFXIV, the Alliance's response is to send an army to help, with Scions striking out into the snow and into the smoldering ruins to rescue anyone they can.

If you asked me if I would live anywhere in a Star Wars universe, it would be an emphatic HELL NO. But FFXIV? I feel like they are at least striving for better, with common ground and peaceful co-existence, and everything is nuanced.

[xenodile]

On the one hand, I definitely get the perspective some people take of "the actual adults involved let Alphinaud down" in regards to the Crystal Braves, but I don't like it because it feels like it's trying to minimize Alphinaud's wrongdoing or absolve him of responsibility, and it's kind of insulting to treat him like he's well, a stupid kid that was in over his head.

Like don't get me wrong, he was up to his ears in the politics of Ul'dah and that's definitely a lot to put on anyone, especially someone as young and inexperienced as him, but the reason he was able to get into that situation at all is because, for the purposes of the story, Alphinaud is an adult. Like I see all the time the sentiment "why is this teenager allowed to do all this" and the answer is that in the setting, that's old enough to have independence and make important decisions! As far as everyone else in the setting is concerned, Alphinaud's a grown man that is just as qualified as anyone else to be doing the things he does! If he was just a loud mouthed kid, he wouldn't have the ear of Eorzea's military leaders or the Scions.

Whether you agree or not with the narrative decision to have 16 be the age of adulthood aside, the point is that Alphinaud should have known better. He is genuinely very smart, he knows politics and strategy, he SHOULD have anticipated his enemies trying to sabotage his plans. The Crystal Braves happened not because Alphinaud was ignorant, but because Alphinaud was arrogant. There WERE people telling him something was fishy, Riol was looking into it, the Monetarists' investments were brought to his attention, but Alphinaud didn't do anything about it because he was convinced he was invincible. He believed that if anyone tried anything, his troops were fanatically loyal to him and his enemies couldn't touch him. He had it in his head that he had solved the Primal Problem and created the weapon that would enforce Eorzea's peace forever, and he convinced himself that the Warrior of Light was his personal attack dog that would be there to kill anyone that got in his way. And worst of all is that no one could dispute this! His agents found a Garlean spy in the Immortal Flames, his personal action found Cid, saved the Scions, and turned the tide against the XIVth Legion. It would not have mattered if everyone around him was warning him about the coup, he wouldn't have believed it. The reason it hits him so hard is that he was so deep in his own ego as the savior of Eorzea that he started ignoring the corruption around him, and forgetting that his decisions affected the lives of dozens if not hundreds of people.

Taking that responsibility away from him to blame Thancred or Y'shtola or Minfilia or whoever just because they're older than him does a disservice to his character and the story of XIV as a whole.

[sealrock]

01. steer

cw: graphics depictions of injury and death word court: 744 words

The droning blare of the car horn seeped into the darkness of his waking mind. Slowly, the boy registered intense, blooming pain throughout his body. His left eye, or what remained of it, was nothing more than an orifice for free-flowing blood, the sticky warmth caking onto his mangled, cold face.

His tongue was heavy, the taste of copper staining his teeth. A shard of glass, most likely from the windshield, flew directly at him during impact, his jerking frame landing sideways for the shard to strike him on the left side of his face, embedding itself within his young flesh. The boy could only cry out in pain the more he wiggled about, unable to free himself from this prison of metal and burning ceruleum.

It was freezing outside, the silent snowfall of the night drifting into the gaps of what was once the humble and somewhat rickety family car, a "fine piece of homemade Garlean steel," his father once quipped, meaning it was all he could afford on his meager salary. Where was he going… He couldn't remember. His nose picked up a scent of growing decay, and the boy realized he wasn't alone. In the dimly lit interior, thanks to the soft glow of blue flames from the engine, he could see silhouettes of his mother and father—their bodies frozen in place. His father, once a tall and proud man who loved to carry him atop his shoulders, lay wrapped around the steering wheel, his torso halfway through the windshield. The boy smelt the tinge of burning hair. His mother's crumpled body was stuck on the dashboard, her unbound russet locks stiff like she was.

Try as he might, the boy couldn't manage a single word that wasn't choked with pain. The right side door was busted, the lock jammed and he had not the strength to force it open. With great effort, he wriggled out of his seatbelt, not taking a moment to realize he was crawling on top of the bloodied corpse of his younger brother, the weight of his hand pressing into his pale face decorated with cuts and bruises. He looked as if he was sleeping, his dark hair tousled and spattered with blood.

His ears were ringing. His ears were bleeding. He couldn't breathe. His neck hurt. He was partially blind. He had no feeling in his legs. How long did he stay there unconscious? Why was he the only one to survive?

Falling out of the car door, the snow-covered ditch met his bruised hands first as he braced himself. Images flashed through his head then: panicked screams from his parents, the screech of the car tires as they braced for impact, the sight of the large oak tree in front of the headlights, and the explosion of glass and the sickening crunch of metal before he blacked out came rushing back to him.

On this desolate stretch of road, cloaked in darkness and blanketed in white, the boy could only stand there in shock, gripping onto his torn overcoat gifted to him by his mother as a lifeline. He caught a glimpse of his father's lacerated face, a snapshot of terror in his final moments. Eyes wide and unblinking, his jaw locked open in a perpetual scream, arms splayed atop the hood of the car. The boy couldn't look away. He wanted to. But he couldn't. Something compelled him to continue staring at the last remnants of his family, knowing that he'd never see them whole and hale again. No boy his age, just ten winters old, should witness this.

His ears picked up sounds from the main road, shuffling footsteps crunching the gravel above and the slam of car doors. Torches shone down on the wreckage, blinding his one good eye as he tried to gain his bearings. Shielding his face, he could only see outlines of bodies covered with insulated coats, the light obscuring their faces. One made his way down the ditch with little effort, and the boy could see he was a soldier. What would the military be doing out here?

Without warning, the man grabbed his arm and began leading him back to the others. Unable to form words, panicked shouts and whines fell from his mouth. He walked into the light, but it had no warmth. It wasn't gentle, it was harsh and judging. He came to fear the light since then, for all he experienced was pain.

[autumnslance]

FFXIV Write 2024: 1 Steer

“Steer clear of that one,” their fellow merchants said, watching Aeryn scowl as she tried to study in a crowded room. “She’s got a temper like a penned guhasaya, and it’s set off by the strangest things.”

“People teasing her friends or younger cousins isn’t so strange,” her stepsister said dryly. “Nor is being annoyed by being pestered while she’s busy. Haven’t you anything better to do?” And she shooed them away, giving Aeryn’s shoulder a squeeze.

It was nice to have the support, but Aeryn still bit her lip to hide how it trembled. She wasn’t all that bad, was she?

-

“Steer clear of that one,” the young men sneered, watching another try to flirt with Aeryn, who had missed it entirely. “Clueless as a hamsa, even if you can get her to notice.”

“What can one expect, when she was born in Coerthas? Frigid as her mountain goddess—”

Aeryn slammed her book on the table where the boys were joking. “A war goddess,” she snapped. “An aspect of Asura and patron of my birth. And what girl wants to kiss you, Rushid, with your breath like an asvattha? Go swive each other if you care so much!”

She whirled and stormed away, ignoring the attempted jeers as they tried to regain their swagger.

That two of them were boys who had gotten her notice, that she had kissed—and more, with one—because she had tried, she had, but she still did not understand why this was such an issue.

To the hells with all of them. She had studying to do and her mother to help.

-

“I’d steer clear of that one, if I were you,” the smarmy scholar said, a wicked grin playing on his lips as he leaned on the bar near the chattering adventurers.

The miqo’te woman snorted and rolled her eyes. “Why, you tryin’ to charm her tonight, Waters?”

He scoffed and raised his mug. “She’s out of my league. Out of yours, too, when it comes to the sort of jobs you lot take on.” He swallowed the last of his ale. “Unless you’re looking to be carried through jobs given by the Sultana’s offices, but I thought you had more pride than that, P’anaela.”

She snarled, tail puffed and ears flattening, but Thancred ignored her and her comrades to watch as the adventurers he had pointed Aeryn’s way stood with her, agreeing on where to meet to handle this mine issue Papashan had.

Aeryn gave him a disgruntled side-eye as she passed, having apparently caught some of the conversation. He gave her what he hoped was a disarming smile and a small salute. There was something familiar in that glower that had him on edge and also strangely sad, but that was a concern for later.

If this job turned out half as well as they hoped, anyroad.

-

“Steer clear of that one,” the Garlean soldier said, voice a mix of fear and anger. “That’s the savior of the savages, the one they call the Warrior of Light.”

The other soldiers exchanged looks, postures stiffening. The one who had been reaching out for the supplies Aeryn offered dropped his hand.

She sighed. “We’re not enemies now. I’m here to help, like the rest.”

“We don’t need your help!” the soldier spat. Her face was pinched from lack of food, and she shivered from the cold, her uniform worn and patched, as night fell and there weren’t enough working heaters.

Aeryn counted internally, biting back the sharp retorts that sprang to mind. “Right. I’ll just leave this fuel and food here. You can decide what to do with it, or not.” She set it down carefully and backed up a couple yalms before turning and striding away, head high, steady and certain.

At least until she was well out of sight, taking a chance to sag against a wall and rub her face, aching from more than the cold.

-

“Do try to steer clear of trouble,” Ameliance teased, grinning as she handed Aeryn a farewell treat pack, the same as she had for the twins.

“That’s the problem,” Aeryn admitted, grinning in return. “It finds me anyway. But usually not right away, at least.”

Ameliance tilted her head, considering for a long moment, until Aeryn finally asked, “What?”

“If I had to guess, you enjoy going to new places not only for the thrill of new exploration and adventure, but the relief of anonymity.”

Aeryn smiled sheepishly, shrugging. “That is the nice part of going to new places; most of the time, even if they’ve heard some stories, they don’t know who I am. It never lasts, but...It’s fun, for a little while, to leave the past behind and have no expectations or impressions. And it’s a way to learn about people, how they treat a random newcomer.”

“But mostly it allows you to explore unhindered, and find that trouble that always comes your way,” Ameliance’s tone was light, but her gaze was as sharp as ever.

“Something like that,” Aeryn said. She looked over her shoulder as the sailors called out. “Looks like it’s time to go. Take care.”

“Of course, you as well,” Ameliance said as they hugged. She turned to her children, spending time fussing and kissing and otherwise embarrassing them properly with all the emotion their father stoically held back until they could return to the privacy of the manor, where he could safely have his fit of worry.

She offered her own quiet prayers to the Twelve for a safe and pleasant journey, for her children, for their companions...and for the quiet, temperamental woman who sought both adventure and anonymity.

[hazelkjt]

"I snuck out often as a child and teenager, covering my forehead in a worn, old headband. Never got along with the other Garlean kids, too stiff and uptight for me to make friends with. So I tried my luck in the lower side of the city, hiding who I really was from the Ala Mhigan kids. Didn't matter though, they figured me out pretty quickly. Most of them kept their distance...except two that didn't seem to care at all. Ashe and Denrick Harker were their names, brother and sister from an Ala Mhigan mining family. They were my only real friends here, made everything worth it for me for years. And yet at every turn I was told not to."

"But why? What makes them so different from us? They can laugh, they can cry, they have dreams, can get happy, be sad, everything. What made us different, what made us 'better' than them? No one would ever tell me why. Why were they the ones called 'savages' when we were the ones who thought of them as less than nothing? We were the ones who beat them on the streets, in broad daylight...and the people cheered for it. People were dying right in front of them, and no one cared. Even my own mother and father, my family, just told me to look the other way. To let the guards 'clean up the trash' and ignore them...that they didn't matter."

"Sometimes I get the urge to rip this damn eye out of my head, but what would that accomplish? It wouldn't bring them back, it wouldn't change what I am. So it stays, as a reminder. I don't like to remember, but I can't ever let myself forget. I can't bring them back, I can at least help set their home free...it's the least I can do. I don't care what happens to me after that, at least I'll know I did right by Ashe and Denrick one last time."