#rain talks ffxiv

[rainofaugustsith]

These lines right here sum up why I feel FFXIV has much more superior, nuanced writing than the Star Wars franchise.

Star Wars has you believe that one side is right regardless of what they do, and the other side is so evil, rotten to the core in every way that their entire people, planets. culture, language, religion - everything - should be permanently erased if they can't be converted to an entirely different culture, language, and creed (And don't get me started on how they conveniently made the Sith alphabet - again considered terrabad - virtually identical to the Hebrew alphabet). It's a very black and white, dogmatic view that IMHO hearkens back to the evangelical belief that only one point of view gets to go to heaven, and if you don't believe that, resist converting and want to hang onto your identity, you're going to hell. And you're certainly going to hell if you point out anything questionable the other side has done.

What you discover in FFXIV is nuance.

Every single job can be used for good; every single job can be used for evil. The heroes of one story are the villains of another. Every heroic gesture comes with a very real price. Nobody is beyond reproach, and that includes the player character. Actions one person takes for the greater good can lead to devastating damage for others.

The "get back to nature" white mages rule a city-state where xenophobia rules the day and the elementals run a reign of terror. White magic executed without proper training can be fatal.

The black mages who congregate in a hall for the gods of the dead have an alliance among the marginalized tribes that spans all three city-states and saves Eorzea from calamity. Black magic executed without proper training can be fatal.

The Dark Knights dedicate themselves to protecting those who need their help, and teach that one's dark side isn't something to vanquish, but something to hear, acknowledge and make peace with.

The Dragoon story shows that one's archenemy can become one's ally - or consume them.

The fearsome reapers who treat with the dead are actually helping the downtrodden.

The community working hard to keep the peace and move forward in a productive way are ex-pirates.

And so on. Nobody is expected to forgive those who have wronged them. Atonement is seen as something that involves work on the part of the perpetrator, not the participation of the survivors. But atonement is there and in several cases characters do better.

Any thoughts that any group in Eorzea needs to be eliminated are eventually dispelled completely. Marginalization of various groups is something that eventually does need to be answered for, and is presented as a problem, not a necessity. When Eorzea finally marches on their nemesis, the Garlean Empire, it is on an aid mission, not conquest. There are no attempts to convert. Just to help.

Both Garlemald in Endwalker and Ziost in SWTOR deal with the issue of murderous possessed people. In SWTOR, the Republic - remember, our "good guys" - response with Saresh is to send an invading army to increase the hurt. In FFXIV, the Alliance's response is to send an army to help, with Scions striking out into the snow and into the smoldering ruins to rescue anyone they can.

If you asked me if I would live anywhere in a Star Wars universe, it would be an emphatic HELL NO. But FFXIV? I feel like they are at least striving for better, with common ground and peaceful co-existence, and everything is nuanced.

[rainofaugustsith]

Rigel Dragoi - Rigel is a star in my favorite constellation, Orion. When I made my WoL I had already decided she would be a reflection based on my SWTOR main (which of course works considering, just saying). And I did name my game character after my SWTOR main OC, but soon discovered that the WoL was pulling away to be her own person very much, and that I wanted to write about her too. I had a hard time coming up with a name for her but when I was browsing some astronomy maps it struck me - Rigel. In headcanon she has a deceased twin brother, Saiph, which is the star that forms Orion's other foot directly across from Rigel. I've left the last name from my SWTOR version, which is Dragoi. No, it's not "lore accurate" ie, in line with naming conventions at all for Seawolf Roegadyn, but my feeling is that it's not uncommon for people to stray from their group's naming convention. Rigel's parents were goldsmiths who went back and forth between Thanalan and Limsa Lominsa. One of her grandparents was Elezen. She had no connection to any large groups of Seawolves. So her parents had names that were not conventional and so did she and her brother.

WoL QotD: What made you choose your WoL's name? Does it have any important meaning or did it just sound nice?

Follow up: Is it lore accurate? If it isn't, why not?

[sezja]

Imagine if the new extreme primal mounts are alpacas

[candycryptids]

Are you also doing the glamour plate asks? Gimme a 16 of whoever you'd like!

Hiii~ Ok so technically I didn't reblog it but I'll take any excuse to blorb post in the precious time before Dawntrail LMFAO And while I was poking my last-second Pre-DT Prep Before Maint stuff... I realized that Chuu and Tue actually have matching plate 16's... this wasn't even on purpose.

Technically, that's Tuesday's Fishing Glam, but he'll also wear it in the Enclave and anytime we go to Kugane, because he likes to blend in. Same with Chuu, but this was also because I got this outfit as a present last year during a sale I think? so it's become her Samurai and Bard glam sometimes too... Mostly it's for dates tho owo

[newty]

How could I not? lol blue light new 💎

@asamis-jodhpurs also asked for this one! it's is also a refresh of something much older. i mentioned it in my 2023 writeup under a 'shame' line, but the draft is called 'blue light' bc eli encourages nol to kiss him so nol pushes him into a stained glass window and they make out. i'd always intended for them to walk away from that glass and have sex, but since its their first time its just so. so so goddamn complicated. my wip is very all over the place.

there's a LOT of up and down in nol's disgust and joy (before we even get to the bed) with the disgust being very internal and the joy being more external--so elliot doesn't immediately see that nol is going thru a p extreme self-hatred episode (lbr what's new)

so i didnt want to write something that was uncritically 'i hate my body (it hurts & wont let me die), my appearance (ugly burn scars everywhere), my life (god hates me & war sucks), and my sexuality (sex is bad, sex w men is worse)' without balancing it with SOME levity jfc nolanel

For a moment he wondered how life could come to this: his chest beating against another, a tongue like holy fire in his mouth, love spoken in soft moans. A murky shame trailed through him, indefinable and weak, and he dismissed it by freeing the word in his heart. "Yes," he said, as candid as a prayer.  Elliot leaned against Nolanel and softly pushed him into the shadows. He separated his body from the blue gleam and offered it to desire.

i think i use sex too often as a catalyst moment for a perspective change, and im not beating that allegation here, but nol really needs it LMAO in the end i think ill weight the next morning with the bulk of nolanel's meltdown. he's going back to war and there's no way brucemont is gonna let him get away w positive character development after a few days home.

ive written two things already that stand under a similar conflict, ie 'is while getting off rly the time u should be contemplating guilt & social responsibility,' and one is ch2 of "the light i hear" (i made a joke abt this fgjdhfjg). the other is "will it rain," which is still a fav of mine:

[rainofaugustsith]

There are things I'd change about the FFXIV housing system, but two things in its favor not mentioned here: 1. Every character gets their own entirely FREE island after Endwalker. As in, an actual tropical island with waterfalls and beaches and caves you can poke around in, and tame critters on, and release your own minions to run around the place. If you do some gathering and crafting tasks you get a free house and a choice of other buildings. Your island never goes away, and if you choose not to go there for a while you can hire mammets to feed your critters and farm for you. 2. Square Enix is really quick to suspend housing demolition when there's any issue of national or local importance, such as wildfires, hurricanes, wars, etc. Right now it's suspended for North America due to the wildfires.

[moximous-kay]

To absolutely nobody’s surprise another Scug. This time one I just made up.

[ferrocyan]

ffxiv write day 3 - tempest

"the waves crashed against the port, seafoam spraying our faces every second, but me and kishe held tight onto the ropes. i climbed first and he followed close behind, we were pretty much crawling to get up to the mast, it felt like aaaages i was clinging to the rigging," renda drawled as she drew on her story. she looked over her captive audience, branden had long since fallen over to his side, nyelbert not far behind now murmuring nonsense into his cup, and lamitt and cylva were up to their own quiet talk behind her back. only ardbert was trying his best to stay awake, so renda leaned closer to him, "so then... uuhh, where was i...?"

"up on the mast...?" ardbert had the look of complete bewilderment which made her giggle. she was way past tipsy, too. that made it hard to think.

"ohh yeah. so we fixed up the sail.. or something. but then i looked up, at the clouds--and even though it was s'posed to be totally dark, i could see a star. just one prick of light in the middle of the storm. and i thought... i thought, oh, it's gotta be over soon! we just had to go west, where the star was. i could just tell somehow. so i went down and told--"

lightning flashed, then thunder ripped through the air. renda flinched and lost her balance, tipping back until she bumped into cylva. they were all crammed close together in the one tent they had, under the torrent of rain, their noisy bunch of ragtag adventurers. renda felt cylva's arm hold her steady and grew warmer.

lamitt used the lull to tell the two of them to settle down, already, and ardbert protested that renda had to finish her story. "you--you did get out, after that," he asked, "right?"

"'course we did!" said renda. he cheered, earning a kick on the shin from nyelbert. she told him the star had been the torch of a lighthouse, and her family reached a safe harbor at the end.

she left out that in doing so her uncle tistt had fallen overboard and drowned. that part wasn't fun, and renda was used to leaving out the bummers out of her stories. otherwise she wouldn't get cheers like this.

as lamitt fussed over ardbert and the others drifted off to drunken slumber, renda leaned onto cylva and looked up to the roof of the tent. she wanted to go outside right now and look up. see if she could see stars behind the stormclouds again.

[blackoutsys]

Introductory Post

Hi. We're The Blackout System.

We had a blog here some years back but ended up deleting it because we weren't sure if we were actually plural. But we're back at least until doubt overwhelms us again.

The large majority of us are non-binary or agender. So they/them pronouns are usually a safe bet.

Our body is 19, and we are POC, autistic with ADHD. On a general level we identify with the term alterhuman.

Keeping the rest of our blogs or other socials/outlets private for the sake of not being bothered, but we may post art here on occasion.

Our system name is a reference to one of our favourite games of all time.

We do not owe you descriptive information on our system, or any one of us. We will also not participate in syscourse as we have better things to be doing.

No we do not know what tags we should be using. We may only post here very infrequently, as this is just a sideblog to our main.

Do feel free to interact with us, however. We are fine with speaking to others and talking about our own experiences, and are looking to make a few more friends.

Our interests are:

Hobbies: Digital Art, Webdev, Gamedev, Embroidery/Sewing, Music Transcription, Divination

Games: Secret Histories Games, Who's Lila, Warframe, FFXIV, Fields of Mistria, Risk of Rain 2, Splatoon 3, Hollow Knight, Rain World, VTM: Bloodhunt

Digital Media: Vita Carnis, Midwest Angelica, Interloper ARG, Chainmail Chasers

~ ✨K

[joiedecombat]

What was the first thing you decided on, the character's name, appearance, personality or their role in the story?

And reverse, which one of the four things did you struggle with the most?

For Meiyi, please!

As I've already mentioned, Meiyi started off as the Spirit Monk for my Let's Play of BioWare's Jade Empire. So... there's some layers to the answer to this question.

Her development for Jade Empire was something I more or less made up as I went along.

The game offers four character types, each with its own preset visual design for the player character. One of those is male-only, so I had three looks and play styles to pick from, and I went with the above both because it seemed best suited to my gameplay habits and because I liked the look best. So appearance was first.

The name was second: "Heartbreaker Meiyi" was the result of rolling the randomized name suggestions until one popped up that amused me.

"If there's anything that Master Li has taught me, it's that defeat is something that happens to other people."

The first parts of Jade Empire show the player character as being fairly obviously held up as the favorite student of their teacher and parental figure Master Li, and raised on hints of some grand destiny awaiting them. Based on that, one of the first things I determined about Meiyi's personality was that she'd be extremely self-confident, if not to say arrogant, while also having the busybody tendencies and care for the well-being of others that go hand in hand with being an RPG protagonist.

The rest of her personality grew into place as I played through the game, and Meiyi as a character also experienced a good bit of personal growth from her in-universe experiences. Most pertinent to the version I play in FFXIV, the way Jade Empire's story and its mechanics for character ability growth dovetail led me to conclude that she was an extremely quick study, able to pick up and master techniques after seeing them demonstrated once.

I've since used Meiyi as a semi ready-made player character for a few other games where the protagonist is left for the player to define - mostly romance game routes that seemed like they'd be entertaining to imagine her brand of absolute self-assurance and her mastery of martial arts in. She also became my Bounty Hunter for Star Wars: the Old Republic, though that version quickly became her own thing and has little bearing on FFXIV Meiyi.

Meiyi in FFXIV came about when the game added the Dynamis data center, and a group of my friends made alts there. I'd played through all the available MSQ with Raine and wanted to be able to team up with those folks; re-using the familiar character, one with a very different personality as compared to Raine, promised to be a fun way to revisit FFXIV's story from a fresh perspective.

I knew from the start that she'd be the Warrior of Light - Meiyi is not a character who will settle for less than the lead role. I seem to recall I settled on making her a xaela pretty much immediately; the Dotharl, with their beliefs about reincarnation and persistence of the soul, recommended themselves as something adjacent to Jade Empire's concept of the Spirit Monk as an order of martial artists connected to the Water Dragon, goddess of rebirth and custodian of the cycle of reincarnation in that game.

Thus, Meiyi became a Dotharl warrior who's been hearing all her life about what a mighty and skilled warrior she is, and was raised with a typical Dotharli assurance of her own immortality. I've been building on that, adapting the character to FFXIV lore and adding in little bits and pieces of her Jade Empire backstory where I can fit them (I talked about Smiling Mountain and Dawn Star in another post, though neither plays much of a role in Meiyi's road through MSQ so far).

The element I've struggled with most for FFXIV Meiyi is probably her appearance, specifically her skin tone. With her being a Dotharl and a steppe xaela, and given that Raine is white as milk, I wanted Meiyi to have a more melanated skin tone, but I've yet to dial in that particular part of her look despite adjusting it several times. Currently I feel like she's still too light-skinned, but I also like the contrast of the dark xaela scales, which tend to disappear a bit on darker skin. I'll figure it out eventually. (Or I'll bleach her scales when she gets to the back end of Shadowbringers.)

Thank you for the ask!

[cylleona]

when it rains it pours

job is good. I should have no complaints about the work itself but the stress snowballs every issue i have into one.

i think I'm struggling with having more independence. I think I'm coming to terms with how much an anxious, neurotic, helicopter parental unit and absent parents have fucked me up because I have no life skills or basic knowledge on how to actually Live. I'm afraid to leave the house by myself, I'm afraid to drive, I'm afraid to deviate from a routine I've had to practice.

Despite my fear of looking ignorant I am the stereotype of a millennial not knowing how to read analog clocks.

It's just small things at work that I'm told to do (usually involving numbers) that are very elementary and easy to grasp for everyone else but I can't understand them or I mess them up and cause problems.

I can't even raid in FFXIV because everyone else understands the mechanics but I don't and keep wiping the party.

I think 'I should look for a different job' but I'm so fucking stupid and not qualified for anything else so I think I have to stay here. Manual labor is the only thing I can do. I'm doomed to be tired, exhausted, swollen and in pain. I'm just stuck.

I have to hear my coworkers talk about how they juggle college and 2 jobs and i can't help but compare myself to them. I wasn't able to graduate. I was too much of a coward to look for an internship and they talk about it like it's nothing. I wasted so much of my life doing absolutely nothing. I couldn't even handle college by myself. I had to be driven every day by someone else. So fucking embarrassing.

What's even the point of living? 'Being happy,' you say. I'm not even good at doing that. I want to die but I can't even do that because I'm scared of that too.

[rainofaugustsith]

Who is a shard?

Just for fun, I keep a running list of everyone I think may be sundered in FFXIV. Best guesses right now.

Warrior of Light (S) - Ardbert (F) - Zero (13th) OR Warrior of Light (S) - Ardbert (F) - Golbez 1.0 (13th) 

OR BOTH 

If the Warrior of Light IS a Golbez, I believe it's the one who was in the memoria crystal and became Zeromus. 

- In the First, the Warrior of Light barely escapes succumbing to the Light and becoming a Lightwarden. - In the 13th Golbez 1.0 succumbs to the Darkness and does become a voidsent. We have a parallel there. 

Golbez is also recognised by passerby in much the same way as the Warrior of Light on the Source. In the Lunar Subterrane dungeon, passerby seem to recognize the Warrior of Light as Golbez. 

However: 

- The Warrior of Light's personal crystal from Hydaelyn resonates with Zero.  - Zero has an extraordinary trust of the Warrior of Light.  - Zero's dialogue in the last sequence is very Warrior of Light-esque.  - Zero as a reaper avatar did not voluntarily work with Zenos. If she shares a soul with the Warrior of Light, it would explain why Zenos wanted her. He's obsessed with the WoL, after all. 

- Zero was thrown into the rift to avoid being killed, exactly like the Warrior of Light before ARR. 

During the final dialogue between Zero and Golbez 2.0, the Warrior of Light is not seen, and there seems to be an Echo flicker. Zero also finds the strength to regain her form as a paladin. It could possibly be because the Warrior of Light lent her strength to Zero and briefly merged with her. 

I feel like there's a possibility an Azem shard from another reflection somehow ended up being filtered to the 13th - perhaps as an attempt by Hydaelyn to give them help and avoid destruction. Hydaelyn would have been at her most powerful and we know that even after Shadowbringers she has enough power to bring Minfilia and Emet-Selch's souls back to the aetherial sea on the Source. So this would have been simple for her when the 13th was going downhill.  The names Zero and Zeromus are very similar and we know SQEnix doesn't choose names randomly, so maybe this is meant to pull the player toward realizing both are Azem shards.

Minfilia (S) - Ryne (F) - Golbez 2.0/Durante (13th)

Minfilia and Durante both have the same braids on the sides of their heads - just opposite- the same hair color and the same eyes. -

In Shadowbringers, Minfilia refers to the WoL as her "dearest friend" and is very affectionate toward her even after they've just met in ARR.

If your WoL has carried over from 1.0, Minfilia remembers the WoL clearly when nobody else, including those with the Echo like Papalymo, does not.

Minfilia, as Antecedent of the Scions, is also really successful at bringing together a lot of disparate recruits.

In addition, while Minfilia in the Source is not a fighter, she does stop the entire Flood of Light on the First with the Warriors of Darkness' help. Also, her numerous incarnations in the First all are documented to have fought very successfully against Sin Eaters. 

Minfilia in the First stops the Flood of Light. Her shard in the 13th causes the Flood of Darkness. It really makes sense and brings things full circle. 

Yotsuyu (S) - Barbariccia (13th)

Zenos (S) - Vauthry (F) - Cagnazzo (13th)

Cagnazzo is depicted as being someone who gets off on fighting, believes in no one, and is searching for the perfect fight to fulfill him. That forms the core of his identity. I don't think they could make this any clearer. 

- Vauthry was turned into a monster by his parents and Emet-Selch; Zenos was turned into a monster by his father and Emet-Selch. 

- Vauthry controls those in and around Eulmore by feeding them meol, which when activated turns them into his unwilling servants. Zenos controls those in and around Garlemald with his towers, which when activated temper anyone who isn't protected and turn them into his unwilling servants.  - Both the towers and the meol are made with body parts of the dead.

Both think of absolutely nothing but their own gratification and see those around them as mere tools to be exploited. 

Hautdlong (S) - Traynor (F) - Rubicante (13th) OR  ???? - (S) - Nyelbert (F) - Rubicante (13th) Hautdlong (S) - Traynor (F) - Unukalhai (13th/F)

Rubicante is a noble mage who watches his friend die and mourns for him forever. That's the story of Traynor and Nyelbert exactly. Traynor and Unukalhai are obviously kindred spirits - when U. comes to the First, Traynor comments that he can work with U. like he's known him forever. As though he's Nyelbert's shard.

Urianger (S) - Cyella (13/F)

Both are Elezen with grey hair and questionable pasts. - Cyella betrays her friends to try to save her world, but make amends and saves them in the end by rescuing their bodies from possession as the Cardinal Virtues.   - Urianger betrays his friends to try to save his world, but makes amends and saves them from being defeated by the Warriors.  - In the scenes where the Warriors of Darkness fight the Scions, Urianger appears as the sixth "Warrior," in the spot Cylva occupies with the WoD on the First. 

Haurchefant (S) - Ser Tolas (F) Both are noble Elezen knights who are fast friends with the Warrior of Light/Darkness. Tolas is more contemplative, perhaps, but he also gets the Warrior of Darkness to go sit in the spa with him after just meeting them, as though they're really comfortable and get along well.

Lalai (S) - Lamitt (F)

The most obvious of the parallel souls they show with the Warriors of Darkness. - They look almost identical  - Both leave their homes in search of forbidden knowledge and have to more or less teach themselves - Both are seen as pariahs by their peers - Both are possessed - Lamitt's body by the Cardinal Virtue (evil); Lalai's body by Shatotto (good).  - Both have a very significant unmasking scene - Lamitt has an unrequited crush on someone.  - Someone has an unrequited crush on Lalai.  - Lalai: black mage - Lamitt: white mage - Lamitt: cast out and finds found family - Lalai: accepted and finds found family

Solkzagyl (S) - Branden (F) Leih Aliapoh (S) - Renda-Rae (F)

Gerold (S) - Grenold (F) Rowena (S) - Mowen (F) Drusilla (S) - Lorathia (F)

[waffliesinyoface]

Initial opinions on FFXIV starting cities:

-Ul'dah: love the design, it makes me think of Mor Ardain/Alba Cavanich from Xenoblade 2. Love me a good desert level. That said, it's also a fucking nightmare to navigate because half the city is inside a building. -Gridania: I'm biased against it because it was raining the entire time I was there. It's fine, I guess, but kinda bland. Elves sure do love to live in trees -Limsa Lominsa: hell yeah pirate towwnnnn. Seemingly the only place where people talk normal. Only downside is that half the NPCs have keymashes for names, and the other half are welsh, which looks much the same.

[staring-at-a-blank-pagee]

hello and welcome!

ao3 • artfight

☆ you can call me blank or tiri! i default to he/they but pretty much any pronouns except she/her are fine with me, honestly. hell, if we're close, you can feel free to go wild with it (/lh). more info :))

☆ i use tone tags a lot and am generally bad at understanding tone so i apologize in advance if i read yours wrong!

☆ the main fandoms you can expect to see from me are up above, but here's the full list anyways: kirby, linked universe, legend of zelda, rain world, super mario, ffxiv, ffxvi, ffxii, lord of the rings, miraculous ladybug, baldur's gate 3, stormlight archive/the cosmere, star trek, celeste, undertale, google doodle-verse, persona 5, good omens, animal well, bored (vldl), hermitcraft/life smp, and uhh possibly more but those are the main ones

☆ i am strictly anti-censorship. if you don't like something, don't look at it - i refuse to support censorship and the harassment and bullying of creators who happen to have made something you don't agree with.

☆ i may be sort of awkward and also forget to message people back for weeks to months on end (im working on it okay i promise/srs) but i love making friends here so don't be afraid to come say hello!!

art tag • talk tag • writing tag • asks • starry dee

☆ aheem heem i also have imaginary friends because why not you should come say hi to them as well guys im so normal i swear- /lh

☆ if you're here from the kirby oc tournament, asks for starry dee are still open... I'm just being very slow about answering them, unfortunately!

anyways folks, that's all!! hope to see you around!

[trbotunnel]

hihihi im parker, im an adult, n i use he/it and im like if a dog were a guy :3

i just wanted to rework my pinned to look nicer and be easier to browse my blog from.... and also to help me remember all my tags for stuff :p

im pretty rb heavy but when i do post myself, i tag it with my personal tag, trbotunnels trbomouth :3

i also now have a therian sideblog @poplarbark :p

GENERAL TAGS FOR ... my art, my fics, fic ramblings (when i talk about writing my fics), my graphic design stuff, my ocs, asks, poppy my cat

things labelled in green are my most liked interests, and things in red are current hyperfixations

BOOKS AND SERIES !! the stormlight archive, mistborn (era 1 and wax and wayne), cosmere, the little prince, warriors, not even bones/market of monsters, lotr, the spear cuts through water, the locked tomb (havent read yet!!), hitchhikers guide

GAMES !! red dead, darkest dungeon, the binding of isaac, bg3, hollow knight (and silksong!!!), splatoon, rain world, caves of qud, hades, fnaf, battletoads, animal jam, disco elysium (havent played yet!!), ffxiv

ANIMANGA !! monotone blue, dungeon meshi, mob psycho, girl from the other side, castlevania netflix

MUSIC !! glass animals, kiltro, amigo the devil, this is the glasshouse, carseat headrest

MISCELLANEOUS !! furry stuff, therian stuff tag (therian sideblog is @poplarbark), werewolf stuff tag, jerma, art rb, graphic design

line divider credit: @/cafekitsune :3 — last edited: 2024/10/19, 11:33 am

[foxoftheninetails]

You sly dog, you got me monologuing!

Why not?

So I've gotten back into FFXIV pretty hard since I tried it last year. A few friends really pushed me, and I'm enjoying it. Good story, good music. The combat still feels a little bit wonky, but I'm an old school FF player and this is my first MMORPG.

The best times are when my friends aren't busy and they can run dungeons with me, or we explore areas they've seen 100 times and as I explore this new place they tell me about it's history and memories they have of it.

The game is mindblowingly gorgeous. Every time I revisit Gridania and sneak back to my favorite perch at The Hawthorne Hut, I am entranced by the leaves flowing in the wind, the rain falling on a roof, or the ridiculous amount of stars shining in the night sky.

(I know, anyone who's played already knows this, sue me; I am sprout.)

A couple of weeks ago we ran the Alexander raids together, and it was an absolute joy to watch experts play and simultaneously nurture their adopted sprout. Yesterday we visited Ivalice, and I was able to fall in love with the FFT soundtrack all over again and see old friends.

The community has been extremely kind. When my friends are busy, or trying to find some peace for themselves (or hitting the new expansion hard!) and I am left to my own devices, I have come across almost universal support. New job class and running a dungeon for the first time? They'll give you tips, let you run at your own pace, and when you screw up? They pick you up, dust you off, and encourage you to try again.

An unintentional side effect of immersing myself in another FF universe is RP. And no, not ERP. Although that exists, I have not had an opportunity to explore it. (I'm 100x more shy in a video game than on Tumblr, go figure)

We go to a quiet bar, torment ourselves with exotic food that we don't get to eat and drinks that sound terrifying or delectable. Sometimes both. And we talk. We talk to each other, as our characters. Intricate backstories that span a whole game and four expansions, almost 1000 primary quests. These folks have spent years perfecting their characters story.

Now, I had no concept of how in depth this was when I walked into that bar. A simple question about where you're from can spawn conversations that run for hours, with everyone having an opinion on the country you're from. Just don't be Garlean. My first night, I was asked what I do for a living. I said adventurer, because that's a fairly typical answer. I was immediately swept under their wing, to be given tips on how to clear Copperbell more efficiently, what weapon I should be carrying, where to find the cheapest gear that will protect you and look good.

My god, the clothes in this game. Hundreds of articles for each portion of the body. There's a whole website dedicated to picking out the perfect outfit for your gunslinger or white mage.

The best trick? Have loving friends who send you the really sick Converse/Vans, despite your protests. When you push them for why? Because I wanted them. (For reference, decent boots run 30k gil on the market board, the Converse/Vans run 750k because the materials are hard to come by. Needless to say, I have run the last 28 levels wearing orange sneakers, and I look fucking good doing it.

So back to the RP, the original point of this post. Last week, I was sitting in the bar talking about places I wanted to visit (in character, I have already been there for the quests). Mor Dhona was mentioned, as it's the site of on of the most pivotal moments in the story: The Calamity.

When it was recommended to me, my character pulled out a worn leather journal and wrote it down. An innocuous but important detail, to make the immersion feel deeper. The journal was passed around, returned to me, and eventually put away. Not even a physical thing, it spurned a long conversation about the adventurer's life, and the trials they undergo.

Then, my brain said something to me a couple of days ago. What if the journal was real? Tangible, physical, something detailing my characters adventures as that happen, stuffed with "drawings" (my character can draw, I cannot. At all. I have an ink jet printer and an app that converts jpegs into very convincing sketches) and souvenirs from his adventure's?

Sounds a bit silly, but it would be an easy way for me to track the details of conversations, and giving me a little arts and crafts project, as a treat.

So I did it. I bought a (frankly overpriced) leather journal with a compass rose sewn onto the cover with black thread. Beautiful sturdy leather and crisp cream pages.

Then I set about bringing it half way to destroyed. A leather journal carried in the field, through the rain and rivers, into combat, through the snow and up mountains does not stay immaculate for long. My character has had the journal for about 4 months, so I needed to beat it up and give myself a head start. Scuff the leather, soften the edges, curl the whole thing so it never sits flat. Drip a little bit of sealing wax on the cover, put small punctures into the back and knicks out of the corners.

The pages? Some got the tea treatment, to try to age them. No dice, this damn modern paper is resistant to stains. Water stains are forthcoming, but I am an impatient being and already started writing in it. Then a revelation came to me.

I am an absolutely massive fan of FFVIII. Obsessed with it. I know the names of every song in the OST and where each song is used, I have the Lionheart necklace and ring, I have beaten Omega on multiple occasions for fun. Anyone who knows me know I am an FFVIII nerd, and I ain't sorry.

So when I was designing my character last year, the face has scar options. Well, what better choice than Squall's scar? I'll have some of that I said.

Well, my character is from a small, relatively peaceful fishing village. Where the hell did he get that ridiculous scar?! The first job he took, of course! But alas, he was carrying his journal with him when he was injured, and it seems it soaked up quite a bit of blood. Some recommended beet juice. I tried raspberry tea, cherry juice, pomegranate concentrate. Nothing. Oddly, the tea dyed the test page blue.

What time of the year is it? Halloween of course! So we buy some fake blood and I'll be damned if it doesn't look like the real thing. It stains the pages, and the rough parts of the leather.

Now, just 4 or 5 days later, it has a leaf from Gridania from the day my character arrived there, drawings of the aetheryte station, some of the people he's met along the way and some of the more impressive geographic features (the ones that coincidentally took my breath away), and even a Triple Triad card. There are plans to visit the Sea of Clouds and meet the Vanu Vanu, so we'll be tucking a feather into the pages. So many other things await.

This has become a (probably for you, dear reader, painfully) long post about my current autistic obsession. I am particularly proud of this journal. While I was inspired by another persons comment, the execution was all mine. So, having gotten to the bottom of this essay, either by scrolling or reading, I have but one question: Do you wanna see the journal?

edit: it will literally only take one person saying yes.