#this is why it saddens me to see like. 25 year olds worry about how theyre getting old

[skenpiel]

uuuu. havent seen conscience of the king in a long time but i remember the episode being very good overall. but kirk hitting on a 19 year old is creepy as fuck right. like. thats not just me, right.

[shuitoji]

Yuuji stares out the window contemplating leaving now but he had to wait one  more hour, he had agreed  the time with Megumi anyway. After the call, his uncle  there were twenty more and 25 messages which always ended with “you ungrateful brat”.

Maybe Yuuji was being selfish, but maybe it wasn’t that bad. He's never really got the chance to just care about himself or be selfish. His whole life it was always what Sukuna wanted.

Yuuji decided to kill time by playing some of his favourite songs to relax, 505, softcore ect. He hasn’t really got the chance to relax the past few days and the trip will be a chance to destress.

He’s looking forward to seeing some of his old friends, mainly Nobara. He hasn’t seen most of his friends since he was 15 and he was whisked away to the usa, at least megumi was there with him. Anyway, Nobara was looking forward to seeing them again, they’re planning on meeting up at a cafe. 

After a few more minutes Megumi finally texts saying the car is outside and ready to go.Yuuji picked up his suitcases and headed to the elevator

When the elevator door shut, he suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. His surroundings felt smaller and it felt like his chest was getting tighter, everything around him felt blurry and time seemed like it was passing slower. Until the elevator door pinged open. 

Yuuji ran through the door as he tried to relax his breath, he didn’t want  anyone to see him like this, he felt vulnerable and that's one thing his uncle taught him not to be. He relaxed his breathing eventually and walked out the building like nothing happened. 

Yuuji never told Megumi how he’s been feeling the past few days but he knows Megumi is worried about him. If he wasn't, why would he be texting Yuuji every thirty minutes just to ask him if he’s okay.

“Hi Yuuji” megumi says while leaning on the black porsche “you ready to go” he opens the door.

“You really don’t need to open the doors for me,” Yuuji says while getting into the car. 

“I’m your assistant” Megumi responds by taking the suitcase from Yuuji’s hand and taking it to the boot of the car.

“Not right now we're going on holiday,” Yuuji says relaxing in his seat.

“Not what the contract said” He responds by getting into the driver's seat.

Yuuji chuckles a bit but he’s saddened by the fact Megumi is driving instead of sitting with him. He wanted to spend every minute with his best friend but he didn't want to continue with a debate he wouldn’t be able to win.

A few minutes into the drive Megumi asks “any way why are we using Sukunas’s private jet, knowing Gojo he probably offered one of his many jets”

Yuuji chuckles awkwardly “no reason” he responds.

There was a reason one of Sukuna’s messages ticked him off a bit too much and he knew all the things He chooses to eat and drink on there come straight from Sukuna’s bank account.

“Right” megumi says clearly not believing him.

*************

On the jet

Yuuji never really liked schedules, he tended to do things when he wanted to. If he wanted to sleep he’d sleep, if he wanted to play video games he would, but that all changed a year after his uncle adopted him and Sukuna wanted Yuuji to follow in his footsteps as a world famous boxer. 8 years later Yuuji got there. But it didn’t feel worth it, all those diets, all those hours he spent training that he could’ve spent playing with other kids, just for him to collapse before his big match and flee the country to his home country just so he could avoid his uncle.

“I feel like a failure,” Yuuji mutters, leaning back into his seat.

“Your not a failure” Megumi replies in a calming tone “ your just having a couple of bad days”

Yuuji nods in agreement “I guess but when my uncle finds out he's probably gonna kill me” he drags his thumb across his neck to emphasise his point.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have used his jet then” megumi responds “also if he was going to kill you he would have done it by now”

“Stop thinking” megumi says while getting out his laptop and opening it. “ how do you know i was thinking” Yuuji says “can you read minds now” 

Megumi chuckles “no you just look like you're in pain every time you think” he says jokingly “you’ve never been that bright and being hit so many times in your head is probably the reason why thinking causes you pain”.

Yuuji pulls a face that makes him look both irritated and amused “be careful i can fire you” he spat.

“But you wont you never will” megumi mutters changing his focus back to his laptop.

“I know,”Yuuji whispers, taking a magazine and opening it.

[bechloeislegit]

25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020

Day 23 - BFFs or Something More?

Author's Prompt: Beca and Chloe have been best friends since they were two years old. They are going into their Senior Year of High School, and things change. Beca is left out while Chloe is suddenly hanging with the cool kids. Will they remain BFFs? Or is this the end of Beca and Chloe?

Seventeen-year-old Beca Mitchell sat on the top step of her porch staring at the house three doors down on the other side of the street. She was impatiently waiting for her best friend, Chloe Beale, to arrive home from her grandparents, where she had spent the past three months.

Beca missed her best friend and couldn't wait to start their Senior Year together. Beca hoped this would be the year Chloe became more than just Beca's best friend. Beca has had a crush on Chloe for a while now, but Chloe didn't think Beca liked her the way she said she did. Beca is hoping to convince Chloe that her feelings are real.

During their time apart, Beca and Chloe had kept in constant contact on Skype and Facetime, but after a few weeks, Chloe had put a stop to those and insisted they call or text only. Beca was saddened that she couldn't see Chloe even on her phone or computer screen, but she would do anything that Chloe wanted.

Beca heard a noise and looked to see the Beales' car pulling into their driveway. Beca jumped off the steps and ran to her car. She practically squealed her tires as she pulled out of her driveway and made the short trip to Chloe's house. Chloe and her parents all looked over when Beca stopped the car in front of them.

Beca's jaw dropped when she caught sight of Chloe. The girl standing with her parents is not the same girl that left three months ago.

"Wow!" Beca muttered to herself before getting out of the car.

"Beca!" Chloe squealed as Beca rounded the front of the car and made her way over to Chloe.

Chloe grabbed Beca in a hug. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too," Beca said, pulling back to look at Chloe. She smiled and said, "There's something different about you. Did you cut your hair?"

Chloe smiled and turned to show off her body. "Do I look amazing or what?"

"You always look amazing to me, Chlo," Beca said.

"Stop," Chloe said, blushing as she smacked Beca's arm. "You have to say that 'cause you're my best friend."

"Doesn't mean it's not true," Beca said.

"Come on," Chloe said, grabbing Beca's hand. "We need to catch up."

Chloe dragged Beca into the house and up to the stairs.

"We'll be in my room," Chloe yelled to her parents as she and Beca ran upstairs. "When did you get that car?"

"It's a super early birthday gift from my dad," Beca said. "More like a bribe, so I don't say anything to my mom about his cheating."

"Doesn't your mom know about his cheating?" Chloe asked.

"She does," Beca said, smiling. "But he doesn't know that, hence the car. Plus, this way, he doesn't have to waste time away from Sheila to drop me off at school every morning. He thinks he's slick, but my mom has been on to him for a while. I think they may be heading for a divorce."

"Oh, Beca," Chloe said. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Beca said. "Enough about me. Let's talk about you."

Chloe blushed slightly, and Beca made a big show of looking Chloe up and down, smiling as she did so.

"How did you lose the weight? You've tried every diet you could think of. What worked for you this time?"

"Well, you know I went to visit my grandparents," Chloe said. "What I didn't tell you was they bought a farm, and they only eat what they can grow. Plus, they're like twenty miles from the nearest pizza shop, Taco Bell, and ice cream shop. It was easy to lose weight when all your fat-inducing foods are nowhere to be found."

Chloe chuckled, as did Beca.

"I'm so proud of you, Chlo," Beca said, hugging Chloe. "So, does this mean no trip for our annual back-to-school banana splits?"

"Oh, we'll totes be getting ice cream," Chloe said, standing and holding out her hand to Beca. "I'll just be getting a single scoop cone instead of the banana split. I want a ride in your new car, so you drive."

"Fine by me," Beca said, leading Chloe out the door of her bedroom and down the stairs.

"Mom?" Chloe called out as they reached the front door.

"What's going on, Chloe?" Charlotte Beale asked as she came out of the kitchen.

"Beca and I are going to get ice cream," Chloe said.

"Okay," Charlotte said. "Don't stay out too late; you have school tomorrow."

"Don't worry, Mrs. B, I'll have her back by curfew," Beca said. "Can we bring you some ice cream?"

"Could you bring me a pint of Fudge Ripple?" Charlotte asked. "And a pint of Butter Pecan for Mr. Beale?"

"You got it," Beca said.

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

An hour later, Beca was back at the Beales' house without Chloe.

"Beca?" Charlotte said when she answered the door to find Beca standing there alone. "Where's Chloe?"

"She went to the movies with Chicago Walp and his entourage," Beca said. "Here, I brought the ice cream you wanted."

Beca handed Charlotte the bag with her ice cream and turned to walk away.

"Beca, wait!" Charlotte said, causing Beca to turn back to her.

"Yeah?"

"Please come in," Charlotte said. "Tell me what happened and why Chloe didn't come home with you. She didn't call to tell me she was going anywhere else."

"Chloe should be telling you this," Beca mumbled as she followed Charlotte into the kitchen anyway.

Beca stopped just inside the door of the kitchen and leaned her hip against the counter.

"So, tell me," Charlotte said. "Isn't Chicago one of the guys that used to call Chloe and you all kinds of names? And bullied you both endlessly the past couple of years?"

"Yes, he is," Beca said. "But, he's also one of the cool kids, and he came over and started flirting with Chloe, and she apparently liked it." Beca scoffed as she added, "He didn't even know who she was at first."

"What else happened?"

"He asked Chloe to go to the movies with them, and she said yes."

"Did they ask you to go, too?"

"No," Beca said, looking down at the floor. "I'm not one of the cool kids, so they didn't include me. And Chloe just left me sitting there without saying a word to me."

"I'm sure she'll come to talk to you tomorrow," Charlotte said. "She'll apologize, and everything will be back to normal."

"I don't think so," Beca said. "She's been inducted into the cool kids club, and I am definitely not a member, nor will I ever be. I should go; it's getting late, and school starts tomorrow. Have a goodnight, Mrs. B."

Beca quietly left the house.

Charlotte waited up for Chloe to return home. It was past eleven when she heard a noise at the door and opened it to find Chloe kissing some boy she assumed was Chicago.

"Oh," Chloe said, quickly stepping away from Chicago. "Mom, this is Chicago Walp. Chicago, this is my mom."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Beale," Chicago said, with what he believed to be a charming smile.

"Mm-hmm," Charlotte said, obviously not impressed. "Chloe, it's past your curfew, and you have school tomorrow. Come inside."

"Mo-om!" Chloe whispered, her cheeks turning hot. "You're embarrassing me."

"I don't care," Charlotte said. "Get inside, now!"

Chloe ducked her head to hide her pink cheeks and stepped inside.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow, Chloe," Chicago said as Charlotte closed the door in his face.

"Mom," Chloe said. "That was rude!"

"Not as rude as leaving your best friend sitting alone while you went off with the guy who bullied you and her for the better part of the past three years," Charlotte said. "And we have a rule in this house that you call if you plan to be out past curfew. And we'll talk about that later. For now, tell me why I had to hear about your change of plans from Beca?"

"What did Beca tell you?" Chloe asked.

"Just that you were invited to go to the movies with that boy and his friends," Charlotte said. "And you left her sitting by herself when you went off with them. She didn't say anything, but I know she was hurt by it. You need to apologize to her tomorrow."

"I'll text her before I go to sleep," Chloe said quietly. "And, I'm sorry I didn't call to tell you where I was."

"Go to bed," Charlotte said, pulling Chloe into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Chloe said. "Goodnight, mom."

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Chloe went to her room. She was feeling bad about ditching Beca and sent Beca a text.

Chloe (11:20 PM): I'm sorry about leaving you sitting alone. Will you still give me a ride to school in the morning?

Beca was still awake, listening to music when she saw Chloe had texted her.

Beca (11:25 PM): I'll pick you up at 7:40; don't be late.

Chloe (11:27 PM): Awes! Goodnight and I'll see you in the morning.

Chloe snuggled under the covers with a smile on her face. It wasn't long before she fell asleep, dreaming of the kiss she shared with Chicago.

The next morning, Beca awoke to her alarm and got ready for the first day of Senior Year. She re-read Chloe's apology for last night as she grabbed her keys and backpack. Beca hurried down the stairs and went to the kitchen to grab some toast before heading out to pick up Chloe.

"Good morning, my scrappy little Senior," Sarah Mitchell said as she entered the kitchen.

"Morning, mom," Beca responded as she bit into her toast. "Where's dad?"

"I don't know," Sarah said, shrugging her shoulders. "He probably spent the night with his girlfriend."

"Why do you still put up with that shit?"

"Watch your language, young lady."

"I'm sorry," Beca said. "Please don't tell me you're staying with him just because of me. Kick him out. You'd be better off without him. We'd both be better off without him."

"I've already talked to a lawyer," Sarah said, looking at Beca. "I'm just trying to get some things situated before I take the plunge."

"I'll stand by whatever you decide," Beca said, standing to hug her mother. "Just let me know when you make your final decision, okay?"

"I will," Sarah said. "I promise."

"Okay," Beca said. "I have to go. I'm giving Chloe a ride to school."

"Have a good day," Sarah said as Beca headed for the door. "And drive safe."

"Always," Beca called back over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

Chloe started apologizing to Beca as soon as she got into Beca's car.

"Stop it, Chlo," Beca finally said. "I get it. You got swept up in the fact that the cool kids wanted to be with you."

"That's not it at all," Chloe said, pouting at Beca.

"It's not?" Beca countered. "Then what exactly was it if not that?"

"I, um," Chloe stammered. "It, uh-"

"It's exactly like I said it was," Beca said. "To be honest, I would have probably gone with them, too. But I would have invited you along instead of walking away and leaving you sitting there all by yourself. It really hurt when you just left me sitting there alone, Chlo."

"I'm really sorry about that, Beca," Chloe said earnestly.

"I know you are," Beca said. "Doesn't make it hurt any less."

"I promise I'll make it up to you," Chloe said. "I know, we'll do laser tag for your birthday, my treat. Just the two of us. How does that sound?"

"Well, look at that," Beca said with a grin. "I'm feeling a lot less hurt now."

Chloe giggled as Beca pulled into the school parking lot. Beca found a space, and the two friends grabbed their stuff and got out of the car.

"What are you doing after school?" Beca asked.

"Chloe!"

Beca and Chloe both jerked their heads around to see who called out to Chloe. Chloe smiled at seeing Chicago coming toward them. Beca frowned and slammed her car door closed.

"I thought I could walk you to your homeroom," Chicago said when he reached Chloe.

Beca didn't want to be a third wheel to Chicago walking Chloe to class, so she walked off as soon as she heard Chloe tell Chicago she'd love to have him walk her.

"See you at lunch, Becs," Chloe said, looking around expecting to see Beca. "Beca? Where'd she go?"

"She's right there," Chicago said as he pointed toward the school's entrance.

Beca entered the school without looking back at Chloe; she hurried to her homeroom, so she didn't have to see Chicago and Chloe together.

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca didn't see Chloe again until the third period. She was surprised when Chloe walked in with Aubrey and Stacie, two of the cool kids, but sat next to her.

"How are your classes so far, Beca?" Chloe asked as she sat.

"Okay, I guess," Beca said. "How were yours?"

"They were pretty good," Chloe responded with a smile. "Chicago is in both and sat next to me. I forgot to tell you; he kissed me when he took me home last night."

"Congratulations," Beca replied. "Good for you."

"What were you going to ask me earlier?"

"I was wondering if you were free after school," Beca said. "I really wanted to talk to you about something."

"I'm sorry, Beca, but I already made plans with Chicago," Chloe said. "He offered to take me home, and we're going to study. Can we talk at lunch?"

"You know what?" Beca said, turning to face the front of the room. "Never mind, I'm good."

"Becs?" Chloe questioned, looking at Beca.

"Okay, class, settle down," their History teacher said from the front of the room.

Beca would not look at Chloe. Chloe sighed and faced the teacher.

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

It was nearing the end of November, and Beca felt like a terrible friend. She tried to keep her friendship with Chloe going, but Chloe was always doing "something with Chicago" or Aubrey or Stacie. Chloe had become entrenched with the cool kids, leaving her not-so-cool friend behind.

Beca was hurt; she thought she and Chloe had something special. For a while, Beca felt like they would be a couple. Now, they were barely talking and only saw each other in school. Beca hated how much she missed Chloe.

It was nearing Christmas, and Beca's birthday was coming up. The day before Christmas break started, Beca got excited because it looked as if Chloe hadn't forgotten about her best friend after all. Beca had woken to a text from Chloe about her birthday on the twenty-third. Beca responded that she was looking forward to seeing Chloe outside of school and kicking her ass at laser tag. They made arrangements to meet at the Sports Complex on Beca's birthday.

Beca and Chloe didn't speak or text again until Beca's birthday; Chloe was still doing other things with her new friends. Beca continued to hang out with her friends, Fat Amy, Jessica, and Ashley.

Beca's birthday rolled around, and Beca texted Chloe to see if she wanted Beca to pick her up.

Chloe [9:15 AM]: That's okay, Beca. Chicago is driving me.

Beca [9:16 AM: What? You're bringing a date?

Chloe [9:20 AM]: Not a date. Just a few friends who wanted to do laser tag.

Beca [9:21 AM]: Fiends? Like who?

Chloe [9:26 AM]: Just Chicago, Stacie, Aubrey, Tom, and Bumper.

Beca [9:33 AM]: They're not my friends.

Beca threw her phone down and immediately heard her text notification go off.

Chloe [9:35 AM]: Don't be like that, Beca. It will be fun, you'll see.

Beca [9:37 AM]: No thanks. Enjoy YOUR friends. I'll celebrate with MY friends elsewhere.

Chloe [9:40 AM]: But we made plans months ago.

Beca [9:41]: That was when you were my friend.

Chloe [9:42]: I'm still your friend, right?

Chloe [9:45 AM]: Beca? Answer me!

Chloe [9:50 AM]: Beca? Come on. Please, don't be like this.

Chloe [10:00 AM]: Chicago's here and I have to go. Please meet us at the laser tag center. I'll see you there, okay?

"Not gonna happen," Beca muttered as she read the last text from Chloe.

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

"Beca!" Sarah called upstairs. "Amy and Jessica are here."

"I thought you were going to do laser tag with Chloe for your birthday," Fat Amy said when Beca joined them.

"She's going with her new friends," Beca said. "They're not my friends, so I decided to spend my birthday with my real friends."

"Are we going to play laser tag?" Jessica asked. "That would be fun."

"I don't want to go where Chloe is," Beca said, pouting. "That was supposed to be our thing for my birthday. Just the two of us."

"Let's go to a movie," Amy suggested.

"That actually sounds like a good idea," Beca said.

Beca drove them to the Mall, and Jessica and Amy treated Beca to lunch before the movie. Beca had a nice time and returned home to find her parents sitting in the living room. Two suitcases were sitting by the door. Beca looked at them and then looked to her parents.

"What's going on?" Beca asked.

"Come sit down, Beca," Sarah said.

"Just tell me," Beca said, remaining by the door.

"I'm leaving," Warren said. "Your mother and I are divorcing. I'm sorry, Beca."

Beca opened the door and grabbed both suitcases. She took them outside and set them on the porch. She came back inside and yelled, "Goodbye, dad!" and ran upstairs.

"Beca!" Sarah yelled after her. She turned to Warren. "Just leave, Warren. I'm sure Sheila is waiting for you."

Warren didn't say anything; he just turned and walked out the door, picking up his suitcases as he went.

Sarah let out a heavy sigh and went upstairs to Beca. She entered Beca's room to find Beca lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling.

"Some birthday, huh?" Beca said as her mother sat on the side of the bed. "I lost my best friend and my father all in one day. Happy fucking Birthday to me."

"I'm sorry," Sarah said. "I tried to get your father to wait until after Christmas, but he wanted to spend Christmas with Sheila."

"I'm sorry, too," Beca said.

"On a happier note, I invited the Beales over for a birthday dinner and cake," Sarah said. "I hope that was okay."

"That's fine," Beca said. "It will be good to see Mr. and Mrs. Beale."

"What about Chloe?" Sarah asked. "It will be good to see her here again."

"Don't count on her being here," Beca mumbled. "I'm sure she's still busy with her new friends."

"I'm sorry she won't be here," Sarah said. "I miss having her around."

"It is what it is," Beca said with a shrug.

"Come on," Sarah said, standing and holding her hand out to Beca. "You can help me with dinner."

"But it's my birthday," Beca whined.

"You're eighteen and considered by most to be an adult now," Sarah said. "Start acting like one."

"You're not supposed to be mean to me on my birthday," Beca said, pouting as she followed her mother to the kitchen.

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca, her mother, and Mrs. Beale were sitting at the dinner table. Beca pushed her food around on her plate without really eating anything. She was still hurt over Chloe inviting her new friends to Beca's birthday get-together when it was supposed to be just the two of them.

"Carl is sorry he couldn't make it to dinner," Charlotte said. "He has his bowling league tonight. He asked me to wish you a happy birthday for him. And I'm sorry Chloe didn't make it; she's out with Chicago again. I swear I wish she'd dump that boy. He's just too into himself. And he is as fake as the day is long. I don't know what Chloe sees in him."

"He's her first boyfriend," Sarah said. "I know I went gaga over my first 'adult' boyfriend. His name was Gary. I met Warren and broke up with Gary because I thought Warren was a better catch. Look how that turned out; I ended up with a cheater who left me for his mistress. And she's older than I am!"

Beca couldn't help but smile at that. "Dad doesn't deserve you, mom."

Sarah leaned over and kissed Beca on the temple. "He doesn't deserve either one of us, sweetie."

"I always hoped Beca and Chloe would become something," Charlotte said, causing Beca to blush.

"So, did I," Sarah said. "I know Beca would have been happy about that."

"Mom!" Beca said, blushing more.

"I think you should go for it, Beca," Charlotte said. "I know you'd treat her better than Chicago has."

Beca started to say something more when her phone vibrated with a text. She glanced at her phone and was surprised to see it was from Chloe. She ignored it and looked at her mother.

"What kind of cake did you make me?"

"Your favorite," Sarah said. "German chocolate."

"I do love German choc-"

Beca's phone buzzed again with another text from Chloe. Beca furrowed her brow.

"Is something wrong?" Charlotte asked.

"You know that old saying, speak of the devil?" Beca asked. At Charlotte's nod, Beca added, "It's Chloe. She asked me to call her."

"Maybe she wants to make amends," Sarah said. "You should see what she has to say."

"I don't think I'm ready to talk to her yet," Beca said.

"I can't blame you for that," Charlotte said.

Beca's phone rang, startling Beca and causing her to drop the phone; Sarah picked it up.

"It's Chloe," Sarah said, looking at the caller ID.

"I'll answer it if you'd like," Charlotte said.

"That's okay," Beca said, taking the phone from her mother and answering the call. "What do you want, Chloe?"

"Be-Beca, I need your help," Chloe said, causing Beca to sit up straight in her chair. "Please?"

"Chloe, what's wrong?"

"I know you're angry with me, but could you come pick me up?"

"What happened? Are you okay?"

"Is Chloe okay?" Charlotte asked.

"I don't know," Beca said, holding the phone away from her mouth. "She's crying and asked me to pick her up."

Beca got back on the phone. "Chloe? Where are you?"

"Makeout Point," Chloe said, and Beca rolled her eyes. "Chicago got mad because I wouldn't have sex with him. He kicked me out of his car and drove off, leaving me stranded."

"I'll kill him," Beca mumbled, standing from the table as Chloe continued talking.

Beca was halfway to the door before Chloe finished talking. "I'm on my way, Chlo," Beca told her. "Are you somewhere safe?"

"I th-think so," Chloe said. "Please hurry. It's dark and I'm scared."

"Beca!" Charlotte called out, causing Beca to turn toward her. "Is Chloe okay?"

"She's a little scared, but otherwise okay," Beca said. "Chicago left her stranded. I'll get her and bring her back here."

"Should I go with you?" Charlotte asked.

"No, ma'am," Beca said. "I'm sure she would have called you if she was in any real danger. I think she called me so we can talk about what happened between us."

"Okay," Charlotte said. "Be careful."

Beca rushed off and jumped into her car.

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

Beca made it to Makeout Point in less than ten minutes. She looked around and saw Chloe standing by a tree, so she drove over to her. Chloe jumped into the car and threw herself into Beca's arms. Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe and held her.

"Are you okay?" Beca asked.

"I am now," she said, her voice muffled against Beca's shoulder.

"Your mom is waiting for you at my house," Beca said. "Let's go."

"Okay," Chloe said and sniffled. "Thanks for coming to get me."

"I'd do anything for a friend who needed help, Chlo," Beca said as she started driving. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"It all started when I asked Chicago to take me home after we finished laser tag," Chloe said, tears falling down her cheeks.

Chloe was upset because Beca didn't meet up with her. She didn't blame Beca but still held out hope that she'd be there.

"We're going to get something to eat," Chicago said.

"I'm not hungry," Chloe said. "I just want to go home. I need to talk to Beca and apologize."

"Why are you even friends with her?" Chicago asked. "She's a loser. You're with me now, and I can't have my girlfriend hanging around some gay chick all the time."

"I'm not your girlfriend," Chloe said, looking past Chicago to where Aubrey and Stacie were coming up behind him. "Aubrey, would you take me home, please?

Chicago turned and glared at Aubrey.

"I'm sorry, Chloe," Aubrey said, seeing the look in Chicago's eyes. "I, uh, I can't. Stacie drove me."

"Stacie?"

"I have to get home, so I can't take you either," Stacie said, looking down at the ground.

"Come on, Chlo," Chicago said, smiling as he turned back to face Chloe. "Let's get something to eat, and then I promise I'll take you home."

Chloe thought about her options. It was a half-hour ride home (and a much longer walk), and she knew her parents were busy and couldn't come to get her. Realizing she didn't have any other choice, Chloe agreed.

After eating as fast as she could, Chloe and Chicago left the diner and drove off. A few minutes later, Chloe noticed they weren't going toward her house.

"Chicago?" Chloe said, looking over at him. "You promised you'd take me home after we ate."

"I have to make a quick stop first," Chicago said.

"I'd rather go straight home," Chloe said.

Chicago ignored Chloe and turned off the main road. It was at this point that Chloe realized where he was taking her. Her jaw dropped open as Chicago parked and turned off the car.

"Makeout Point?!" Chloe yelled. "Are you kidding me? I am not making out with you, Chicago."

"That's not exactly why I brought you here," Chicago said, leering at Chloe. "We've been dating for three months, and it's time for you to give it up."

"Give it up?" Chloe screeched. "I am not having sex with you, either!"

"You either give me what I want," Chicago said. "Or you can get out and find your own way home."

Chloe glared at Chicago as she unfastened her seatbelt and got out of the car. Chicago was screeching away before Chloe could close the car door.

Chloe stood and watched as Chicago drove off, leaving her stranded.

"I didn't know what else to do," Chloe said, wiping at her tears. "I knew my dad was out, and my mom was going to be at your house, so I called you. I'm just glad you answered because I really didn't want a lecture from her; she's never liked Chicago."

"I can't say as I blame her for that," Beca said.

Beca didn't say anything more as she pulled her car into the driveway; Charlotte and Sarah had been watching for them and ran out to the car. The girls got out, and Charlotte grabbed Chloe into a hug. Chloe let out a sob and buried her head in her mother's shoulder.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" Charlotte asked.

"I'm okay, mom," Chloe whispered.

"Why don't we go inside?" Sarah said. "We can have Beca's cake and end this night on a bit of a high note."

"Can we, mom?" Chloe asked. "I really want to celebrate Beca's birthday."

"Thank you, Sarah," Charlotte said. "We'd love to stay for a bit."

~~ Day 23 of the 25 Days of BeChloe Christmases - 2020 ~~

After they were done eating cake, Chloe turned to Beca.

"Beca, can I talk to you? In private."

"Why don't you take Chloe up to your room so you can talk," Sarah said. "Charlotte and I will visit for a bit."

"Sure," Beca said. "Come on, Chloe, we can talk in my room."

Chloe stood and followed Beca out of the kitchen and up to her room. Beca stood near her dresser and looked at Chloe.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Beca asked.

"I'm fine," Chloe said. Seeing the skeptical look on Beca's face. "Really. I am. Okay?"

"Okay," Beca mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Chloe blurted out. "I'm sorry for becoming one of them. I'm sorry I let them take over my life. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Chloe was in tears, and Beca stood looking at her.

"I'm just so sorry about everything that's happened in the past few months," Chloe said. "Can you ever forgive me? I miss you; I miss us."

Beca reached out and pulled Chloe into a hug. Chloe fell into the hug and buried her face in Beca's shoulder.

"I love you, Chloe," Beca said. "Of course, I can forgive you. Plus, we're best friends for life, remember?"

Chloe let out a small sob. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."

"So, um, your mom said something interesting at dinner tonight," Beca said. "Something I'd like to explore when you're ready. I mean, if you want to."

"What did she say?"

"She said she had hoped that we would become something more than friends."

"I can't believe she told you about my crush on you!"

"I swear she didn't say anything about a crush. Apparently, she thinks I'd take good care of you."

"Wait! You said it was something you'd like to explore?" Chloe asked. "You mean you like me as more than a friend?"

"Yes," Beca said. "I've always liked you, Chloe. You just never believed me when I told you."

"I, um, I didn't think you could like someone like me," Chloe said.

"Someone like you?" Beca asked, looking at Chloe. "You mean, the sweetest, kindest person I've ever met? How could I not like you?"

"But, I was fat and not attractive," Chloe said, not believing Beca.

"You were always pretty to me, Chlo," Beca said. "And you deserve to be with someone who treats you right no matter what. I'd like to be that someone if you'll have me."

Chloe smiled as the tears were falling down her face. "I would definitely like that."

"Good," Beca said. "We'll talk later and make plans for our first date. Okay?"

"Okay," Chloe said. "Can I kiss you before we go back downstairs?"

Beca responded by leaning in and kissing Chloe.

"Wow," Chloe said, pulling out of the kiss with a smile. "I could get used to that. I can't wait to tell my mom about us."

Beca smiled and took Chloe's hand. She led them downstairs to find Sarah and Charlotte hurriedly rushing to sit on the sofa.

"Were you eavesdropping?" Beca asked, looking at the two women.

"No," Charlotte said. "But, I'm so happy for you both. And, I guess this means you and Sarah will be spending Christmas with us?"

"It does," Beca said, smiling at Chloe. "It most definitely does."

"It is tradition," Chloe said, reaching over to pull Beca into a kiss.

"Happy birthday, Beca," Chloe whispered.

"And Merry Christmas to you," Beca whispered back.

A/N: I know it's kind of long, but the words kept coming (sorry, not sorry). Thanks for sticking with me to the end.

[shreddedparchment]

Merry Christmas, I Love You

12/25/2019

Pairing: Bucky x Reader          Word Count: 6,670

Warnings: Language, violence, blood, angst, pining, jealousy, fluff

A/N: So this was initially supposed to be a Holidays-non-specific fic...but as I kept writing, it was feeling forced so I turned it into a Christmas fic because it felt better that way for writing. I’m so sorry! Anyway, I hope you like this one. I always enjoy writing for Bucky. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! xoxo

Things have never been easy for you. Family. Friendships. Relationships. Nothing, except for work.

Somehow, you’ve been able to come in, day after day, with a smile on your face, no obstacles set before you that upset the delicately crafted balance here at the Tower.

That is until the morning you walk in and something terrible—something that you could never have anticipated—is sitting on the edge of your desk wearing rough deep-sea colored jeans, organically weathered around the nicest, most bitable ass you’ve ever seen.

Okay, so maybe it’s been a while since you’ve gotten any and any semi-attractive person now-a-days seems to get your engine revving, but this guy…this man is sin incarnate and you nearly lose your step as you slide to a halt by your office door.

“What are you?” You ask, sputtering the words out senselessly only to have the Sin turn and look at you with clear blue eyes. Ice blue. A little gray. A little piece of heaven staring at you out of a brooding face, topped with what looks like freshly cropped burnt chestnut hair.

You’ve seen it long. You admired it from a safe distance. Now it’s gone but in its place is sheared perfection. He looks like a new man.

“Sorry?” He asks, his voice like chocolate fudge, slow and oozing and coating your insides with thick, sweet…oh man, you’re a goner.

“Um…” You shut your eyes, shaking it lightly to clear your head.

Not looking at the hot man helps.

Wait…you’re stupid. You know exactly who this hot man is. You just didn’t expect to ever see him this close and, in your office, sitting on your desk casually lounging around like some beefed up supermodel.

“I-I meant, what are you doing…here?” You clear your throat, clutch your legal pads a little bit closer and finally open your eyes.

He’s standing now, hands shoved into his pockets, muscled chest straining against the black t-shirt he’s chosen to torture you with, the burgundy leather jacket doing little to hide his muscle.

Who the fuck dressed him?

“Oh.” He says. “I’m working here. With you.” He explains and you nearly choke.

You start coughing again, hacking up a lung as your face burns and your chest nearly caves in.

Bucky because you know very well who he is, hurries towards a small bottle of water you keep handy on your desk and takes it to you.

You take it, try to wheeze out a thank you but cough harder. You gasp, then take a drink as he stares at you, eyes narrowed with polite concern.

“Fighhhne.” You wheeze, waving a hand at him gently to reassure him. “I'm fine.”

He nods straightening up. Just noticing how tense he was, you feel your neck burn.

Suddenly it’s way too hot in here.

“Are you hot?” You continue to wheeze, breathless with embarrassment and a strange and sudden desire. “It’s hot in here.”

Moving around him you move to the window behind your desk, a large glass panel in the glass wall of your office. You slide it open and a rush of chilly New York winter air nips at your skin.

Finally, your head is clear. Sharp. Your wits back in place. You turn to him and he’s shifting awkwardly from one foot to the other.

“What do you mean you’ll be working here?” You ask, a need for clarity rising.

“Fury sent me here.” Bucky shrugs. “I guess Sam’s got the go ahead to start up a team and he wants you to head home base.”

You let that sink in, trying to wrap your head around going from administration duties to somewhat field duties.

“You’re gonna be my handler.” He nearly whispers, voice dropping a bit. Why is he telling you this like it’s a secret?

“Oh, just your handler?” Another voice quips but you don’t have to wonder whose it is. This voice you know.

“Sam?” You call and he comes around the small partition in front of your door.

With that charming smile, the one that has all the ladies in accounting falling to pieces with its easy confidence and promise of romance, Sam gives you a nod and stops beside Bucky.

“Hey, Y/N. It’s good to see you again. You look good. How’ve you been?” He asks, eyeing up Bucky who looks at him and shrugs.

“I’m fine.” You nod, tempted to smile. “Thanks. So, you’ll both be under my umbrella?” You nod.

“There’s a few more but yeah, it’ll be mostly me and Buck. Who best to watch over us? I thought we’d be safest in your capable hands.” Sam flirts.

“Sam…” You huff a small laugh, relaxing a bit now that there’s a buffer. Not that he’s much of a buffer. Sam is fucking hot too and if the window weren’t still hurling frozen wind at you, you’d be overheating.

Sam chuckles-“What?” Sam says—and you look out the window. There’s a small smack but when you look back up at them, nothing has changed much save for Bucky standing with his arms crossed instead of his hands in his pockets.

“…that is my name.” Sam insists, his lips curled up into a playful smirk while the man beside him broods a bit more.

“Well, first off, if I’m going to be your handler, I’m gonna need you to be a bit more professional.” Smiling you move to your desk and deposit your notepads, running a finger across the notes from your latest office meeting.

You won’t need these anymore.

“I’ll do my best, but it’s hard to concentrate on work when my handler’s just so pretty.” He teases.

You huff a small laugh, shaking your head. “You don’t change, do you?”

Sam looks down at your desk, his eyes suddenly darkened by sorrow.

You feel bad but you won’t linger.

“I’m glad.” You assure him. “Sometimes I forget how to laugh.”

And like a switch has been turned, Sam’s smile is back.

“Don’t worry. Together, I think the three of us can give the world a few reasons to smile again.” Sam nods, sincere.

You look at Bucky who stands with a frown twisting his handsome face.

“I look forward to working with you, Agent Barnes.” You offer a small smile, hoping to ease his grimace.

He looks up at you, startled, as if he’s just realized you’re there. Great. There goes that crush. Another one that doesn’t know you’re there.

“Bucky.” He says. “Please.”

“Okay.” You smile a little wider and his eyes finally focus. “Bucky. I look forward to getting to know you.”

He stares at you and he sizes you up. That small frown never leaves his face which only makes you wonder whether he disapproves of what he sees.

~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck.

This is not good.

As Bucky looks you over, from the tips of your red pumps to the collar of your soft gray business suit—a silk red camisole peeking out from underneath—he knows that he’s fucked.

The moment you smiled, frazzled by Sam’s stupid flirting, he knew that you’re trouble.

That look of curiosity on your pretty face…what is he getting himself into?

Bucky likes you.

He likes you a lot.

“Bucky?” You call to him, your voice wrapping around his name just so that it makes his heart pound.

“Do you even have any training in the field?” He asks, kicking himself internally that he’s on the defensive now but he wasn’t expecting this.

He wasn’t expecting to come in here to find you, a beautiful woman, clumsy and real. There’s nothing fake about you so far and Bucky can see the goodness that you radiate. He wasn’t expecting Sam to come in here, flirting shamelessly, making you laugh.

Rude bird.

You blink, slightly taken aback.

“She’s not gonna be out in the field, Buck.” Sam defends you, and that grates Bucky more.

“It’s still something she should have.” Bucky argues stupidly. Why can’t he shut his mouth up?

“I-” You begin, sounding saddened and Bucky could leap out of that window behind you if it would end this inescapable awkwardness he’s dredged up. “I don’t.”

You shake your head then bite your lip. Thinking hard while Bucky fights the urge to touch your mouth.

“I’m actually not sure why Fury sent you to me. I’ve never…I mean, I did go into training for S.H.I.E.L.D. when I first started here a few years ago but I failed out of the academy. I couldn’t get myself to do what needed doing and I—this was a better fit for me.” You bristle. “So, no. I don’t have any field training. But I’ll do my best.”

Before he can open his mouth and make this worse, Bucky sighs, exchanged a look with Sam, then turns and leaves.

As he pushes your office door open, he can hear Sam reassuring you.

“Don’t worry, Y/N. He’ll come around. We’ll make a great team.”

“Thanks, Sam.” Your voice is flooded with gratitude.

Fucking Sam.

~~~~~~~~~~

You watch from your seat in the old crumbling building on two ten-inch displays as Bucky and Sam rush into the abandoned bunker. It’s not so abandoned now, filled with a terror cell known as the Maw. They’ve killed sixty people in four days and there will be no taking of any prisoners today.

“Are we sure he’s here?” Bucky asks, the feed from his body cam shows him sliding along the floor under a small break in the outer wall. Immediately inside there are five enemies.

As he stands, they fire, and you grip the edge of the fallen and splintered door that is your makeshift desk until he’s taken the entire group out. Not one left alive.

“Yes.” You answer, remembering his question. “He’s here.”

As Bucky breaks into a run down a long dark hallway, you focus on Sam’s cam and watch as he circles up over the building.

“Sam, do you see anything?” You check, knowing that he must be running his thermals.

“Just a whole bunch of cowards.” He quips. “There. Bucky, third basement down. There’s a wall weak enough to break through right behind them.”

You look at Bucky’s cam and it changes position. He’s running faster, sliding from doorway to doorway before he throws himself within one as gunfire rains down on him from an open door at the end.

You slide the big heavy laptop you use for recon over and pull up all the schematics of the bunker you’d found in your research of the building.

“Y/N, find me a way down.” He grunts, returning fire when he can.

“Already on it.” You inform him, sneaking a glance as he slides out from his hiding spot to one closer to the shooter.

His hallway ends in a T and he’s on the left-hand side.

“There.” You say, “Down that hallway to the right, straight ahead. There’s an elevator shaft that should be non-operational. You can slide down straight to the third floor and round back towards the wall Sam saw.”

Bucky is already running. As he approaches the shooter, he holds up his metal arm to block three bullets. There’s a click—an empty clip—then Bucky pounces, twisting the man’s arm to break it then he practically throws him into the wall. The man falls to the ground, but Bucky doesn’t stop.

He’s sliding on the ground towards the elevator shaft as he approaches and throws his metal hand out to dig his fingers into the wall. He slides down one floor before he releases and freefalls, then at the last moment he grabs the top lip of the floor he’s going to and swings himself in.

“Down the hall, two rights, and you should be against that weak wall.” You tell him. “Sam, status?”

You look at the other display and watch as Sam dips and dives, gunfire lighting up his cam. He throws his shield and it bounces off one thug to hit another then magnetically flies back up to Sam.

“There are civilians in that holding cell.” Sam realizes, and without a second thought he flies for it. “Six guards. I’ll take them out quick.”

“Get them to safety. I’ve got these guys.” Bucky says confidently as he rounds the last right and races for the back wall to the inner room of the final floor.

“Bucky…” You begin, fear taking root in your heart as you think about the fact that Sam will be too busy with those civilians to come quickly.

This isn’t your first time out with them. You, Sam, and Bucky have been together for a year now. One whole year.

Somehow, you have been an asset to their team. Sometimes Sharon comes along, sometimes there’ll be a few others. But at the end of the day it is always you, Sam, and Bucky.

You’ve been there when Sam broke his arm. When Bucky dislocated his shoulder. When they were both shot. When Sam wouldn’t wake up for three days. You’ve been there for every after mission dinner. You’ve been there for every holiday spent in safe houses and hospitals.

Bucky and Sam had even bought you a cake when your birthday came around and all three of you ate it on the tower roof, both men still in mission garb, sitting on the ramp of the jet.

Through it all, though you always worry, there is only one thing that makes you lose focus. One thing that has brought you to Fury’s office several times to resign because you can’t do this job. Not like this. Not when you’re this distracted half the time.

When Bucky’s in danger, your heart stops. When he’s injured, you’re nearly in tears. You’d cried that first time he was shot, but luckily Sam was shot too so really, you managed to pass it off as sorrow for both of them.

The time Sam wouldn’t wake up, those tears were just for Sam…but Bucky was pretty torn up about it and you’d offered what comfort he was willing to accept which wasn’t much.

Bucky has kept you at arm’s length this entire time. Welcoming enough to make you feel like part of the team, but far enough that you’re pretty sure he still think you’re absurdly underqualified for this job.

You’ve watched him with his other teammates, even the ones that randomly come by, and he’s not with them like he is with you.

Watching him team with Sharon or T’Challa, you can see the difference.

He likes them. He doesn’t simply tolerate them.

Despite this disappointment, it does not fail. Every time that he’s taking on too much, your focus goes straight to him.

You pull his cam footage closer just as the wall in front of him explodes.

Cement and iron rain down on him and the hallway, rumbling as the building groans with the loss of support.

You stand, pushing your chair back hard as you clutch the display closer.

“Bucky!” You call, seeing nothing but darkness. “Bucky? Get up.”

Voice rising with panic, you blink hard, trying to see through the cloud of dust in the darkness in the screen.

“What happened?” Sam demands, returning fire at the thugs he’s facing.

“The wall exploded out.” You say, quiet because you can’t breathe.

There is no movement. Bucky isn’t moving.

You don’t give yourself enough time to think.

“Is he okay?” Sam asks, but he’s too busy to do anything about it.

So, you do.

Flipping open your bag, you pull out the handgun you’d been issues when you took this job and run. Down along the stairwell from your safe room. Across the street towards the bunker, along the small alleyway beside it to the back where the original entry point had been made.

You keep an eye on the display you’ve brought with you and watch as the rubble shifts. You see a gleam of dark metal and see that it’s Bucky pulling himself out of the pile, but then there are more glints of sleek black metal.

Guns. At least eight of them, all pointed at Bucky.

“Fuck.” You push yourself faster, ignoring the way your legs protest.

Your tac pants tear as you finally enter the building, catching on exposed reinforced metal piping and wood.

You’re not even careful about your running. You don’t look around for enemies. You don’t care. You have one goal and that’s all that matters.

You enter the T and race for the elevator shaft. A final glance at your display tells you that they’ve got Bucky kneeling in the rubble he’d been buried under. All of the other thugs in that room have their guns pointed at him, one man stands a little taller than the rest. No gun in his hand, but a long serrated knife. He’s talking, smirking down at Bucky as he squats down before him to run that knife’s point along the seam of Bucky’s metal arm.

Dropping the display, you reach for your belt hoop and pull from it a compact grapple. You shove it into the floor by the open elevator shaft and throw yourself down without hesitation.

You fall quickly, reaching the third floor in less than five seconds.

You have to release the cable in order to stop and you use the momentum of your fall to swing yourself into the doorway.

Landing hurts but you’re on your feet, racing down the hallway as fast as you can.

Instead of taking two rights however, you take one right, then a left.

They aren’t expecting you to barrel in through the door they’d been facing. Their only defense had been on the wall Bucky tried to go through.

So, when you shove the door open, you aim and kill one, two, three guards with quick precision shots.

That’s when they turn, and you run to take cover behind a tall steel shelf.

Bullets bounce off the metal as they land near your head.

On the other side, in the room that you can no longer see, you can hear Bucky fighting. His metal arm deflecting bullets and slamming these thugs into the floor.

The shooting at you stops so you peek out and aim. You get one of them in the leg, the other in the gut. You’re about to fire again, killing a fourth, when a loud pop and a burning sensation pierces your arm.

You cry out, and duck back behind the shelving out of sight.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouts, the scuffle between him and his enemies increasing in pace.

There are fewer grunts and they’re moving closer.

You groan, holding your hand over the wound in your arm but force yourself to peek out again, this time aiming where the shot that hit you came from.

Distracted by Bucky’s approach, the man behind the name of Maw doesn’t see you aiming at his head.

Before you can fire, your arm falls, losing strength and the shot goes through his neck.

He sputters and chokes on his blood, falling to his knees just as Bucky finishes with the last of his goons. He moves to the man and with one swift flick of his arm, the man’s neck breaks, and he falls to the ground, unmoving.

Your eyes are on Bucky, scanning him for injury as you press your hand harder against your own wound.

He’s okay. You gush stupidly. He’s not hurt.

A small scratch on his cheek. Otherwise, he’s fine.

And he’s suddenly at your side.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” He asks, voice hard and angry.

“No.” You tell him.

“Let me see.” He pushes your hands away and stares down at the hole in your arm.

As blood gushes out, he reaches down to his belt to pull a heavy but thin cord that he begins to wrap high on your arm. It hurts. It pinches. It’s too tight.

“Ow.”

“No shit.” Bucky growls at you. “Sit still.”

You do, not having realized that you were squirming.

“What the hell did you come in here for?” He demands.

“You were in trouble.” You explain, leaning your head back to watch him finally tie the tourniquet. “And Sam was busy.”

“I coulda handled it.” He’s clenching his jaw, flexing the muscle in his anger as he reaches down to pull what looks like a small syringe from a small pouch on his belt.

“It’s okay to need help.” You tell him calmly, loving the way his brow is furrowed in concentration.

“I don’t need your help. Not here.” He chastises, pushing the tip of the syringe into your wound to press in what looks like powder. It hurts but you’re starting to not feel much of anything.

He tosses the syringe away and begins to wrap up your wound with a small roll of bandage.

“This isn’t the right kind. We’ll have to get you back to the Tower quick.” Bucky sighs.

“Why don’t you like me?” You ask him, feeling woozy and finding that filter that you usually use strange absent.

Bucky frowns, then gets up and reaches down to help you up.

He tucks you underneath his arm and supports most of your weight as he leads you out, refusing to answer your question.

“Y/N okay?” Sam’s voice filter in through your comms.

“Yeah, she’s fine. Lost a bit of blood though. Faster we get her back the better.” Bucky says, cutting you off before you can answer.

“Just getting these last few civilians out. I’ll meet you at the jet. Two minutes.” Sam promises.

The trek up the stairs is exhausting. You’re dizzy and tired. The adrenaline is wearing off and you find yourself leaning against Bucky more and more the higher you climb.

When the freezing air hits you outside, your head clears for a moment and you remember that you ran out here without your coat.

It’s freezing.

You look up with your mouth wide open. It’s snowing!

“It’s snowing.” Way to go, brain.

Bucky frowns as he looks up and with you struggling to keep up, he stops. He wraps his arm more securely around your back then with his other, quickly dips to pick you up.

You groan when the movement jostles your arm but lay your head on his shoulder anyway.

“I like it here.” You whisper, stupidly talking without thinking.

You place your hand on Bucky’s chest where you can feel his heart pounding. Absolutely thrumming against his ribcage.

“Were you scared?” You ask him, wondering if Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier, can really get scared.

For a moment he says nothing. Then, “Yes.”

You nod. “It’s okay.”

“Stop talking.” He chastises, just as your body is engulfed in warmth.

Not even two second later, your entrance into the jet is followed by the soft whoosh of Sam’s wings and then his feet as he climbs in and moves towards the pilot’s chair.

“She okay?” Sam asks, glancing at you as Bucky settles you into a seat and straps you in.

“She’s a little delirious but she’s okay. Should be fine as long as we get her back soon. She needs stitches. Bullet went clean through.” Bucky says, focused on your arm as the jet pulls away.

“I like you.” You tell him. Blinking slowly as his fingers stop fumbling with your bandage.

He looks at you, ice sapphire eyes burning into your own with a million unasked questions.

“Why do you hate me?” You wonder, feeling sleepy.

“I don’t hate you.” Bucky explains, brow furrowed with subdued anguish.

“I like you.” You tell him again. “I want you to like me back.”

Bucky opens his mouth but shuts it again, looking over at Sam who seems to be intentionally ignoring the two of you.

“Sometimes I think about what it would be like to kiss you.” You continue, words slurring together as the shock of being shot catches up with you. “Kiss me.”

You see him leaning up towards you just as your vision turns black.

~~~~~~~~~~

Recovery is a bitch.

You hate having to wear a sling. Especially because you’re decommissioned from field duty for a while. Bucky and Sam don’t stick around. They make sure you’re okay and then they go off on their next mission.

Sharon is brought in to help. She takes your job.

You watch two days later as they come into the small shared space in Tony’s old lab where you had set up home base for them. They walk in and head straight for the mission board—a high tech computer screen with touch—and sift through a few open cases.

They don’t seem to see you sitting on the sofa by the kitchen, wrapped up in a blanket, sipping hot cocoa.

You watch them, taking in their dynamic. Sam is just as playful with Sharon as he is with you. They seem to have a deeper connection though. A shared sorrow. All three of them do.

The biggest difference is Bucky’s demeanor. He smiles more. He’s laughing at something Sharon said.

Your chest aches. Wondering if maybe this is what’s for the best? He seems to be more at ease with Sharon there to support them in their missions. She’s got the skill.

You’ve read her file. Part of it. The parts you were allowed to read.

She’s amazing.

Much more qualified.

“You’re coming, right?” Bucky asks her, watching her as she stares at the board.

“To what?”

“The Christmas party.” Bucky tells her. “It’s tomorrow night. We should be back by then.”

“Why would I come to the Christmas party?” She asks, a laugh in her voice.

“Because it’ll be fun.” Bucky reasons, then turns to Sam and nods at her. “Right?”

“Yeah. Pepper’s got Happy planning the whole thing. We might have to surrender our IDs when we come in and consent to a pat down but there’ll be plenty of booze. Music. Dancing.” Sam teases her the same way he teases you.

She laughs. “I’ll think about it.”

“It’ll be more fun if you come.” Bucky continues, reaching out finally to pull on her sleeve. “Come.”

You curl up a bit more, shrinking into the cushions of your seat. Hating the way your chest feels like it’s caving in.

Of course, he’s going to like her. She’s Sharon Carter! Great niece to Peggy Carter. A legend in her own right.

This must be why he never brought up what you’d said in the jet. You were slurring and mostly out of it, but you knew what you were saying.

You’d finally told him. You like him. You do.

And he hasn’t said anything about it.

You shift too far to the left and your arm grazes against the cushions beside you.

You gasp, shocked by the pain.

“Y/N?” Sam’s voice calls out.

No.

You blink hard, hoping they look clear and not like you’re pining for Bucky Barnes.

Sam rounds the sofa and smiles down at you.

“Why are you hiding out here, making no noise? One gunshot wound and you think you’re a world class spy?”

You say nothing. You’re in hell. You just look up at him.

“Hey, you okay?” He asks, moving to sit beside you.

“Y/N is here?” Sharon asks, moving towards you.

Fuck.

When she comes into view, you can see she’s wearing a standard S.H.I.E.L.D. body suit. Winter edition so it’s a little thicker. White pants and top. Gray straps to holster her guns. That’s empty right now.

“Hey, long time no see.” She smiles at you kindly and you force a smile in return.

Sharon is nice. You’ve always like Sharon. She’s kind and friendly.

“Yeah.” You say stupidly because it’s the only thing you can get your throat to work out.

“Heard you were shot saving Bucky’s ass?” She offers, looking over her shoulder at Bucky who finally moves towards you.

You shake your head once, that smile still plastered in place.

“Are you not feeling well?” Sam asks, reaching out to place his hand on your back.

You shake your head, letting the grimace that your poor heart is feeling seep out as discomfort in your arm.

“I’m gonna go…” You tell him, voice quiet and strained.

As you get to your feet, Sam helps you. You don’t see Bucky.

You know that he’s there, standing somewhere behind you, but you don’t want to turn to see him. What’s the use?

“You need help getting to your room?” He asks, but you shake your head. “Okay.”

You move past him and don’t look back. You don’t stop until you’re in your room, door shut behind you.

Moving into the bathroom you wash your face with your one hand, trying to clear your mind.

As you shut off the water you hear your bedroom door click shut.

“Sam?” You call and follow the sound back into your room.

But there’s no one there. It stands empty, just as it was when you came in.

As you move to take a seat on your bed, your eyes spot a small bottle of pills on your bedside table.

You grab them, quickly reading the label because these are not your pills.

Take two tablets every eight hours as needed for pain.

Rising to your feet, you move for your door, throw it open and look down the hallway to catch Sam to thank him before he can get too far but your voice catches in your throat as you watch wide shoulders and a glinting dark metal arm walk away from you.

With his delivery done, Bucky leaves you without a word.

~~~~~~~~~~

Wincing you slip off your sling and reach down to straighten your dress. It’s short. Shorter than you’d thought it was, but it’s pretty, with long loose sleeves that cinch at the wrist. Dazzling white with silver sparkles stitched into the soft fabric.

You’d seriously considered sitting out this party. You aren’t exactly in the mood. Not happy. Not comfortable. Not in the Christmas spirit.

Rejected, your mood has taken a sour turn. You’re mostly sad all the time which is hard enough but with the pain in your arm, it feels worse than it actually is.

However, you’ve never missed a Christmas or Holiday party since you’ve started working here and you’re not about to start now.

When you finally arrive, the party is already in full swing.

Pepper and Happy have outdone themselves, turning the largest ballroom in the Tower into the prettiest winter wonderland that you’ve ever seen.

All the tables are covered in gleaming silver and white tablecloths, decorated with assorted bobbles in silvers, whites, pale blues, and grays. White lights are strung up along the ceiling and left to dangle in carefully placed icicle patterns, more clear baubles with shining white lights at the center adorn the spaces between the tables where people chat and eat merrily with golden forks, knives, and spoons.

There is no red holly or green garland, but all around the room you can see the soft green and white splash of mistletoe hidden in small nooks and over random spots in the room.

“Y/N!” You hear Sam’s voice before you see him and search the room for him. “Over here!”

He waves at you from across the room near the large metal door that leads out into the hallway that’s lined with an endless stretch of conference rooms.

He looks dapper in a velvet black tux, silver bowtie around his neck.

You smile at him and move towards him but as you cross the table comes into full view and you see that Bucky is sitting beside him to his left—looking sinfully good in a navy tux, white dress shirt, and a black bowtie. Beside Bucky sits Sharon, in a red satin dress with capped sleeves and a round neckline.

Her dress, as you approach and she stands, you can see if floor length and she looks absolutely beautiful.

“Wow.” You tell her. “Sharon, you look amazing.”

Sharon blushes. “Me? Anything looks good when all you wear is tac gear. Look at you! You’re stunning!”

You almost look at Bucky but stop yourself just as your head tilts.

“Have you eaten yet?” Sam asks, moving around the table to pull out your chair, sitting you right across from Bucky.

“No.” You admit.

“I’ll go get you a plate.” Sam says.

“You don’t have to. I’m not really hungry.” You tell him.

“You have to eat.” He chastises. “I’ll be right back.”

He leaves you, disappearing into the crowd as Sharon scans the crowd.

“I’m not hungry.” You repeat to no one in particular. Just talking because you’re nervous as hell and you can feel Bucky’s eyes on you.

“You have to eat.” He says, and finally you look at him.

He’s watching you, those blue eyes more ice-like tonight because of the décor that surrounds him, but for once he doesn’t look like he’s angry. His face is carefully controlled. A small curios tilt of his head as you stare at him and say nothing.

“Bucky!” Sharon exclaims. “Pepper’s here. Let’s go say hi.”

She smacks his arm and moves around the table to head over towards Pepper, escorted by an adorable Morgan wearing a bright red dress with tulle for days. She doesn’t look happy about it.

“I’ll be right back.” Bucky tells you, and you turn to watch him get up and refasten the button on his front and move after Sharon.

Left alone, you feel yourself beginning to relax. Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all, right? Bucky doesn’t like you but he’s not hating you either. Sharon is as nice as always and Sam as attentive, but you know he’s only fussing because you got shot.

You’re beginning to wonder why he’s taking so long with that plate of food—not that you want it but you’re getting lonely over here—when you look around towards where he disappeared to and spot him chatting up one of the girls from accounting.

She looks absolutely flustered and it makes you smile. Good for her.

You scan the crowd, looking for Sharon and Bucky to see if they might be on their way back and find them standing with Pepper, Morgan in her arms.

They’re chatting pleasantly for a moment before Happy leans in to say something to them.

Sharon looks confused, Bucky a little nervous.

Happy points up above their heads and your heart drops.

Sharon and Bucky look up to find a cluster of mistletoe strung up above their heads, nestled between two large silver baubles.

Happy holds out his hands, shrugging, but clearly enjoying himself.

Pepper is also smiling, all of them finding the moment utterly entertaining.

Look away, Y/N. You try to tell yourself, but your eyes are glue and your heart is pounding.

You try to swallow but your mouth is too dry, and your throat is clogged up. A lump the size of your fist settled right within it.

You watch as Sharon grabs Bucky’s bicep and leans in towards him. He leans in too, faster and much more eager.

They kiss.

You’re shattered.

As they pull away quickly, Bucky reaches up to wipe at his lips with his fingertips and cautiously seems to glance your way.

He sees you watching and stands up straighter.

You look away, rising to your feet as quickly as you can and move around the table to head straight for that metal door.

“Y/N!” Bucky calls but you can’t stop now. Not with your heart in your throat.

The quiet of the hallway is welcome and you hurry towards the first door you see and pull it open. Inside the conference room, the blinds are drawn, and no one will be able to see you in here. The long black glass table and the sterile silver rolling chairs that line it are familiar, but you really wish you were in your room right now.

This place gives you no comfort.

You look up, spot another set of large glass doors and sigh, knowing that there might be some comfort out there.

They lead to a balcony, a small one, and as soon as you move out onto it, cold winter wind freezes you.

It bites at your skin, harshly drawing your attention away from your aching heart pain.

The wind whips your hair, making a mess of the careful style you’d tried to put it in.

Shutting your eyes, you sigh once again, hoping that this ache…this broken heart will mend quickly.

All of this started as a lusty dream. A quick bit of desire conjured up when you’d walked in and spotted Bucky sitting on your desk.

How had it grown into something more meaningful? Why do you have to like him?

The sound of the door opening turns you around and you see Bucky look inside. He nearly turns to leave when he spots you on the balcony outside.

He stalks towards you, feet stomping on the floor. He throws the balcony door open and lumbers towards you with intent before wrapping his right arm around your waist to pull you tight against his body.

His metal hand takes hold of your bicep and he pulls you to him roughly as he leans down to kiss you hard.

Startled, for two seconds all you can do is stand there as his lips move against yours, warm and wet. When his tongue slides along your bottom lip, you melt into him and shut your eyes to finally return his kiss.

His metal hand tightens, and you pull back, “Ow.”

Confused, he looks at you, then his hand as you curl that shoulder up.

“Shit.” Bucky exclaims. “Sorry. Fuck.”

You laugh. “Ow…”

He releases you and looks at the spot where you’re shot and watches as a small patch of red begins to grow.

“Damn it. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I…I forgot.” He explains.

He meets your eyes and he seems to regain whatever determination made him pull you to him so hard.

“It was mistletoe.” He explains. “That’s why I kissed Sharon.”

“I know.”

“Then why did you run?” He demands.

“Because it sucked.” You explain. Duh!

“I’m sorry.” He sighs. “I’ve wanted you for so long, Y/N.”

“Me too.” You nod.

“I only want you.” Bucky sighs, reaching up to caress your frozen cheek.

“Me too.” You smile.

The side of the Tower suddenly flares to life with millions of tiny Christmas lights, bathing the two of you in warm yellow light.

You both admire the sight for a minute, appreciating the beauty.

“Merry Christmas.” Bucky says, drawing your eyes back to him as he wraps his arm around your waist tighter.

“Merry Christmas.” You tell him, smiling as you lean in to kiss him again.

“I love you.” He sighs, stopping your advancement as your heart nearly bursts through your chest. “Be mine?”

You laugh once, giddy beyond belief. “Yes.”

Bucky smiles.

“I love you, too.” You promise, and he pulls you in for a kiss, this time carefully avoiding your wounded arm.

“Well it’s about damn time!” Sam says, both you and Bucky stopping with your lips barely touching to look over at the large balcony doorway.

“No kidding.” Sharon says, smiling at the two of you with a smug little smirk. “Good call on the mistletoe.”

Sam smiles proudly. “They needed the push.”

You glare at him, feeling a little spiteful at the hell you just went through to find this heaven.

“Excuse you?” You warn.

“Oof, I mean, dance, Agent Carter?” Sam asks, offering Sharon his hand as he selectively avoids your angry gaze.

“Uh…yeah, good idea.” She takes his hand and lets him lead her back inside.

Bucky chuckles but reaches up to take hold of your chin and turn you to face him once more.

“I’m gonna have to buy him a better present.” He laughs, then leans down to kiss you silly.

The end.

[elle-smells]

Birthday Kisses -- one shot

20:03

Robbe had been waiting all day. 

The two hands in the old living room clock seemed to be moving slower than usual and that just wasn’t going to do it for him. There wasn’t a word in any language that could describe the way he felt right now. After all the birthday wishes and cake and blowing out candles all the newly 17 year old wanted was his boyfriend; the same person who was running late. 

Not that Robbe is an impatient person, he prides himself in being able to not stress when things run a little behind schedule, but Sander had promised him he’d be here tonight to celebrate with Robbe and yet every time someone passes by his mama’s house it’s not the person he’s expecting.

“Dude, chill, you staring at the clock isn’t going to make him appear out of thin air” Jens teased as he took as seat next to his best friend who grew more anxious by the minute. 

Robbe sighed, “I know but it’s been a long time since he last texted”, Sander had been spoiling his Robin all day with sweet messages complimenting him and others that were a little more suggestive and made Robbe blush more than he’d like to admit. “I just want to make sure he is coming, you know, so I can... save him a piece of cake...”

“Cake?! There’s some cake left?!!” Aaron suddenly spoke from where he was playing video games with Moyo.

“Can I have more, pleaseeee”

“No, it’s not for you, it’s for Sander” Robbe got up to cut a slice before he muttered “If he ever decides to show up.”

Robbe served the cake on one of the plastic plates his mama had bought the day before and sat back down grabbing his beer from the living room table. 

“I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation, when has he ever dispapointed you- oh wait, never mind”

“Jens!” Robbe hit his best friend on the shoulder “That was a long time ago! And of course I trust him, I’m just a little confused as to what is taking him so long, that’s all”

Reluctantly Robbe decided to let it go. Jens was right, Sander wouldn’t be late unless he had a good excuse. He’ll just have to be more patient...

21:21

He’s starting to get little more worried now.....ok, he’s REALLY worried. I’ts been over an hour and Sander is still a no show. Robbe looks at the time, 21.21. He feels a smile forming on his lips. Once, on a rainy afternoon during a day-long cuddle session, Sander had told him that was the time they got together for real. That exact time stamp is when Sander told him it was them, 100%, in every universe. Of course, Robbe knew it was nearly impossible for the art student to know one of the most special moments in their realtionship happened at such a specific time. 

However, he didn’t dare question it out loud, because as soon as Sander said it, the words felt more right than Robbe could’ve ever imagined. Like it was bigger than them, their love or even the universe they were so glad to live in with each other. That day they decided 21:21 would be like their 11:11 (but much more more meaningful than those weird tumblr posts everyone used to quote). Sometimes the couple would send texts simply whishing their lover a “Happy 21:21″ 

It felt perfect. Which is why Robbe couldn’t help but feel slight disappointment when Sander didn’t walk through the door at exactly that time. 

The Broerrrs were one drink away from reaching their “limit”, which basically meant that they were one drink away from not being able to stand, and kept asking Robbe to join them. “It’s your birthday! Come on, you only get turn 17 once!” Robbe hated to admit it but his friends were right. He invited them over to have fun, and that’s exactly what the were going to do. 

25 mintues later...

He was having the time of his life. Seriously, after going so long without proper partying, dancing like an idiot with his friends was exactly what he needed. It was almost enough to make him forget about- oh....

Robbe had pretty much given up at this point, though he didn’t exactly know how much time had passed since he last checked he had almost fully accepted that it was way too long and maybe his boyfriend wasn’t coming. It saddened the brown haired boy to the core. He wanted those birthday kisses, cuddles, giggles and everything he had always secretly hoped for while he was still hidding a huge part of himself. 

One thing was for sure, Robbe was expecting one hell of an explanation-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“I’ll get it” Robbe dragged his body to the door trying, and failing, to not get his hopes up. He slowly opened the door and his heart sunk yet again when he realised there was no one there.... and then he saw it; the drawing.

It was of a day Robbe remembered well. There was some stress with his mama and he had stayed up with her all night. He loved her very much and would do anything to make her comfortable, but he was human after all and his body had limits too. Sander had noticed the purple bags beginning to form under his eyes and practically begged his boyfriend to get some sleep, god knows he needed. He remembers waking up however many hours later to the sun hitting his eyes with so much intensity he felt like never opening them again. And then a giggle, and then a soft “Don’t move Robin, you’re gonna make me mess this up, it’s a good one”. 

There it was, a sketch of him peacefully sleeping into the late hours of the morning with a white comforter covering everything below his hips, leaving his bare back completly exposed. It was beautiful. There was no mistaking who the artist was, Sander.

Robbe felt his phone buzz in his pocket, he pulled it out and saw a notification for a single text, “Look up ;)” 

His boyfriend was standing a little to the right of the door almost as if he had been hidding. Wearing a simple white graphic tee and black jeans, Robbe thought Sander had never looked so gorgeous. 

“Happy Birthday Robin” he said with an easy smile that perfectly translated into the way he was looking at the birthday boy. Robbe forgot all the frustration he felt throughout the night and jumped into his boyfriends awaiting arms. Like always, it felt like coming home. 

Sander held him as tightly as he could while whispering countless “happy birthdays” and “I love you so much” or “you are so beautiful”.

When his lover finally placed him down on the pavement Robbe looked at him with gentle eyes and asked “What took you so long?”

“Hey, I’m sorry I wasn’t here earlier but setting up your surprise took longer than I thought it would”

“Surprise?” Now the older boy had Robbe’s full attention

“Come, you’ll see” Sander grabbed Robbe’s hands and led him to a small green area right next to where he lived. The brown eyed boy couldn’t believe it. Sander had set up fairy lights all around a triangular white tent big enough to fit the both of them. There were pillows, snacks and a small speaker that would most likely end up playing something by Bowie soon. 

Robbe felt arms wrap around his waist from behind, “So, do you like it? Is it too much? fuck I knew it was too much, I´ll just take it down sorry-” 

At those words the birthday boy immediately spun around and gently grabbed his boyfriend´s face “Sander stop! It’s perfect, you’re perfect I love this and you so much” he tilted his head up to join Sander’s lips with his own in a reassuring kiss. 

“Look, honestly, I was a little upset that you took so long to get here but it doesn’t matter. You’re here now and that’s all I wanted”

Sander’s smile was so big it took up half his face, his brown hair had grown out a little since he cut it and now it was long enough to have a messy look to it. Robbe has never felt so lucky.

“So what you’re saying is that I’m the best birthday present you got today”

Neither could contain their laughter as they kissed once more, this time with all the passion and love they had built up inside. The broerrrs won’t mind if Robbe disappears for a little while, and if they do then at least he had this moment with the best thing that ever happened to him.

Eventually they do notice Robbe's absence and join them outside making the obvious kissy faces and "oohh" sounds which got them a glare from their best friend in love. They all walk around as far as their tired and almost sober bodies will take them without a destination in mind. The cool late night air makes everyone shiver and yet Robbe has never felt so warm, so loved.

Yup, this was defintely the best birthday ever. 

[worldcakecakecake]

Feliciano and the King of Hearts

Chosen by the gods as the Queen of Hearts from the moment of birth,  we follow Feliciano’s story as he grows into royal life, learns to rule,  go against age old customs, and his relationship with his husband to  be, the King of Hearts.

Chapter 1 I  Chapter 2 I Chapter 3 I Chapter 4 I Chapter 5 I Chapter 6I Chapter 7 I Chapter 8 IChapter 9I Chapter 10I Chapter 11I Chapter 12 I Chapter 13 I Chapter 14 I Chapter 15 I Chapter 16 I Chapter 17 I Chapter 18 I Chapter 19I Chapter 20 I Chapter 21 I Chapter 22 I Chapter 23 I Chapter 24 I Chapter 25 I Chapter 26 I Chapter 27 I Chapter 28I Chapter 29 I Chapter 30 I Chapter 31 I Chapter 32 I Chapter 33 I Chapter 34 I Chapter 35 I Chapter 36 I Chapter 37I chapter 38 I Chapter 39 I Chapter 40 I Chapter 41 I Chapter 42 I Chapter 43 I Chapter 44 I Chapter 45 I Chapter 46I Chapter 47 I Chapter 48 I Chapter 49 I Chapter 50 I Chapter 51 I Chapter 52 I Chapter 53 I Chapter 54 I Chapter 55 I Chapter 56 I Chapter 57 I Chapter 58 I Chapter 59 I Chapter 60I Chapter 61 I Chapter 62 I Chapter 63 I Chapter 64  I Chapter 65 I Chapter 66 I Chapter 67 I Chapter 68  I Chapter 69 I Chapter 70 I Chapter 71 I Chapter 72 I Chapter 73 I Chapter 74 I Chapter 75

                                                   Chapter 76

The next two days somehow blurred to Feliciano. He felt like he had been stuck in the same place…when he had only been there for perhaps only an hour, breathing and hoping this ease could bring hm an answer. He laid his feet upon the surface of this canal, sometimes starring off into the blur of this other island. It was the German one they had told him several times, boats occasionally coming here to pick up anyone who wanted a visitor…yet the last few times he had denied the passage still trying to think, trying to piece as time passed.

 Yes, it darkened and lightened here in the usual day and night cycle, the night a splendorous one of black, purple, blue and infinite of stars that sparkled elegantly on the waters. One lived here like any other regular life, with the same pass times and leisure, easy to forget that they were dead and only waiting for a mourning to pass so they could enter the third realm. Everyone reverted to the colors of their life, only glistening, and brightening, for, as someone had told him, you have shed your magic and your spirit can shine straight anew. But indeed, since all your magic was drained in the first realm, you had no power here, but it didn’t disturb from the utter peace and felicity. People went on, Feliciano wondering if they had forgotten they once could possess such force.

 For some reason he had kept his own magic…but he preferred keeping it hidden. He didn’t know what it meant, how the people would react to it and what the angels would say. So, he settled to himself that if he had to use it, then small things that can fit in the palm of his hand.

 The angels only came when new people entered or when they had to pick someone to lead them in their entrance to the third realm. He never saw the full process, he would only see as the angel would come to someone, talk, lead them deep into the most darkened street in the town, disappear between and that person never came back. They always went alone, no matter the family household they made in their time in the island.

 They had established these families to make the settling easier, to have a group to count on and spend your time until you were called. Feliciano had found it with a group that called themselves Galdi, the one to which the little boy he had met belonged to.

 His name was Timoteo…only five years old when he passed. He was from Ragusa, at the south of the peninsula and thus very far from Barga. He had been heavily sick with an immune problem that he suffered from since birth. The youngest of three siblings, his parents working with the governance of the town. The four of them had tried hard to deal with his disease, but the war cut the route of medicines and the healers that helped. His eldest sister left to fight in the war, the sadness taking the largest toll that eventually led him here.  

 When Feliciano had heard the story, he broke and put on himself more blame for the occurrence of the war, so many times apologizing and wishing he could grant the boy his life back. Timoteo forgave him, smiling and mentioning how he suffered no pain, in a wonderful place with just as great people and had even met the Queen of Hearts.

 Yet it didn’t heal the fault, it still added to the weigh of what he was supposed to do. This tension always lay with him, grasping as he did now the edges of his seat as he forced himself more the words he had gotten to.

 The four stances…could be so many things. Care, Devotion, Empathy, Belief, Force, Magic, Openness, Knowledge…and on and on with countless of words that piled and yet none shone out to him as the intended. He needed a way to make them clear, so when he worked on showing it…he wouldn’t be doing the wrong one.

 Okay, um… Intent, Loyalty, Calculation, Anger…he spun on words, twisting them around himself, hoping they could show.

 Wish, Leadership, Serenity, Force…another sigh in his anguish, just as Timoteo took the sitting right next to him, by now knowing Feliciano’s concentrations on this, remaining silent, gazing up to him wondering if perhaps this time he had something. He knew Feliciano had given up when he moved his gaze away from the waters, up to the distance that gave him the next coming island.

 “I asked Giancarlo if he had any ideas this morning, and he suggested you asked Augusta.”

 Oh…if only it was that easy. “Augusta won’t answer me…” he tried to control his exasperation, no worth being shown to a child.

 “She lives within you…shouldn’t she…shouldn’t she help you.”

 Feliciano rolled his eyes and wished he could tell her that as well. “Timoteo…she might want me to learn it myself. After all, I’m Queen, I should know this by nature…yet I don’t…she might also be disappointed because so.”

 “No…maybe she’s just making a game,” he had thought like the child he was and Feliciano chuckled and blessed that he was there with him.

 “Wouldn’t that be fun?” He raised his legs to himself, now taking a break, thoughtful and only one person in his mind, his gaze now more intent than ever on that specific canal that connected. Timoteo knew…and he waited and even expected Feliciano’s decree to row forward…yet silence continued between them.

 “Why haven’t you gone to the German island yet?” He asked, slow as to not cause any more distress…he could tell Feliciano was hesitant. “King Ludwig is supposed to be there…right? Maybe he can help you.”

 “Yes…he is supposed to be there…but…” he sighed and saddened like he could melt to the floor in it. “It was as the angels said…if he were here then they would have known…a message should have arrived there of my presence… if Ludwig would have heard it…he would have come as quick as possible…but it’s been two days and there’s been nothing of him.”

 “…the angels suggested you could still check,” he wanted to believe.

 “I could but…I’m afraid of what I can find out…you know the real story of Augusta and Romulus don’t you?”

 He nodded excitedly, attentive, and glowing ready to hear the tale all over again.

 “When Romulus passed by Khaos’s hand…he didn’t come here…for the longest time Augusta thought he had completely disappeared…lost and truly left without a chance to see him again…” what dreadful things, what misery…he shouldn’t be telling this to a child…yet Timoteo continued to gaze up to him with big innocent eyes, unperturbed by the words.

 “And you’re worried that the same thing has happened.”

 And the very words he had been thinking, not daring to say out loud, were whisked into the air by the young boy. “…he…was killed by Khaos…I doubt he would be so merciful.” And he turned away, not wanting the island to give him false hopes.

 Yet despite how everything seemed so unlikely…Timoteo wanted to keep that hope. “I can go with you if you want, so no matter what you find…I’ll try to help you and…we can figure something out.” He didn’t know what…but he wanted to keep Feliciano faithful to the chance of seeing Ludwig again…even if it meant not in the Interludes…even when there wasn’t a single way.

 Feliciano sighed, straightened up and there was intention in the way he gazed that made Timoteo know they were meant to take the next coming boat.

 The Queen realized that the boy had truth in discovering more of what this could be. No matter what he would find out…he was sure it would not stop him from searching a way.

  The sailor who was in the boat that transported Feliciano and Timoteo couldn’t stop stuttering his words, wouldn’t stop bowing…or staring intensively at the Heartian Queen. Feliciano giggled and tried to give him as much ease as he could on the journey…a half hour one with a lot to witness in these waters as they crossed.

 Despite how these boats could hold the weight of bringing about twelve spirits, only one person rowed, their oars the only thing in this realm that trespassed the water reflection under them to push. From what Feliciano had learned, these rowers were not angels, but spirits who had lived themselves long ago, had passed all four realms, lived with the Aces and were granted this job once there. They either wished it or it was given as a sort of punishment for wrong doings they did in their past life. They were knowledgeable in the map of this world, their rower pointing and naming the other islands they witnessed from afar. But each soul was limited specific routes, and this one in particular could not go further to the islands they couldn’t see or the ones from other kingdoms.

 With each paddle forward, Feliciano became heavier, his expression more fallen, the sailor and even Timoteo distracted in the conversations of other passengers to really notice. The island began to come clearer, with building of stone and wood that showed the clear artistry unique to the German province. It was a mix of old and new, of city and country, and it reminded Feliciano of one of the inner streets of Berlin. The beauty made him blissfully forgetful, ignorant to a crowd of people that were surely awaiting friends or even loved ones. The surprise was soon quickly spread as they witnessed him. The usual whispers Feliciano had now been used to arose, but he didn’t bother to listen or give attention at first. He rose out of the boat, helping Timoteo to stand at his closeness, making sure they were both well suited in their arrival before Feliciano could turn to the crowd…taking a deep breath and preparing himself for the answer he would get.

 “Greetings,” he started and continued in German, “despite how it might seem, I am not really dead.” He went on with the usual information of his journey until all could understand the circumstances to not create a massive panic.

 “We understand well, your majesty. But why come to our island?” A man had wondered for all.

 “I…” and here it would come, his voice coming into a shake, gripping his hands, and biting his lips from not showing more this weakness. “I’m looking for my husband.”

 Startlement, all exchanging confused glances, then searching between one another, wondering if simply they had missed him.

 “King Ludwig?”

 “Yes, is he here? If so, then please, take me to him! I have to see him!” He begged, his eyes watered now, a reaction the men and women moved back from…not understanding what to do, what to say. Timoteo took a stronger hold of his hand, easing him, reminding to be patient and attentive.

 “Your majesty, we know our dear king was taken…but…”

 “We…believe he’s already in the third or fourth realm…maybe with the Aces…” one tried to alight.

 “No…it doesn’t make sense. With the amount of time Ludwig has been dead…he should be here…I know he should be here…” Feliciano insisted, thinking they were only hiding him, ready to dash forward and look for himself.

 “Your majesty!” One woman told the loudest, taking well his attention as she stood high and mighty in the crowd, understanding well…Feliciano could tell that currently she has been the longest there, perhaps only hours to be chosen for her path to the third realm. “Ludwig is not here…and he hasn’t been here…” harsh words, enunciated and sure that Feliciano had no way to denying. The tears fell and his breath began to hitch.

 “Emilie, be reasonable, perhaps-” one tried to alight.

 “I’ve long been here…and no king has come…and none of the people I was with at the beginning mentioned such a presence.”

 Timoteo’s heart hurt for Feliciano, who now began to shake in his hold, and he looked up to him vastly worried. Even with his grasp, Feliciano looked lost, ready to suffocate at the harshness his breathing increased in.

 He should have expected this…he shouldn’t be surprised, it shouldn’t be suffocating him like this.

 “Not here…not here…” Feliciano repeated in anguish.

 But he did have hope…his heart truly believed he would be there so everything could be the same as it was…but now…no…such a chance was never to occur again…Ludwg suffered the same faith as Romulus…he was gone…he was gone…gone…gone…

 “I’m so sorry, your majesty…we would love to know what’s going on also and help…but…there’s nothing we can do…” someone tried to come close to give whatever comforts, but no matter, Feliciano began to loose focus, sweating from the harshness it took to breathe.

 “Feliciano…Feliciano?” Timoteo tried to call, but it was like he was slowly disappearing from his vision.

 So many began to try and call for him, but he gave none an answer as his breath overcame everything else.

  Roderich was surprised he could run this fast, could even let his legs raise him as he went across that ruined expanse. He was heavily bruised, blood coated his armor, yet he still managed some force to keep up with the other two.

 “Ready?” An Oralee called, reminding him of the mission.

 “We’re even!” a Whitean joined.

 Yes, the three of them were perfectly aligned, amazingly so as the ground crumbled underneath them, as ribbons of darkness danced about them, the feet of Khaos menacing ever closer with stomps that could have swallowed them all to be forgotten. But no…they were determined that this wouldn’t be their end. With grimaces, with pain in every single one of their bones, they extended their hands in a perfect balance, a beam like rope being formed. They began to move apart, expanding the distance, sometimes wobbling as one jumped or dived to avoid a ribbon. Soon enough they had what they wanted, a perfect space, the three moving until it was targeted like a large bow.

 “Fire!” Roderich shouted and they released just as they would an arrow, a field running up, the end a large shard that fell and pierced into Khaos. A scream, chilling and painful to hear, especially being this near. The monster began to bend in a nearing to the ground, to fall. The three smiled at achieving this, one of the rare times, but it was quickly vanished when they noticed it was ready to fall on them. From their awe, they had to dash at whatever space they could find.

 The ribbons were coming at them fiercer, messed, and dangerous without control. They didn’t think it would be possible to pass through, closing their eyes and expecting the soon taking. But then came the insisting voice, along with the call that was unique of a specific kind of deer bread for the use of war as this. They were tall, imposing, fast and with antlers capable of taking many to death at a time.

 “Come on! Come on! Come on!” Came the shout of the Jack of Diamonds, ushering them forward to him, all taking a grasp of the animal, safe and secure before it hasted away to the safest ground they could reach, the top of a mountain that they made their center of operations and health when it was not moving and possible. João was there to greet them, pen and scroll in his hand ready to write the next commands and messages.

 “It worked…” the Oralee told, trying to catch her breath, “…but I don’t know how much time it gives us.”

 “We got him to fall…it’s more than what we hoped for,” João told them in gratitude.

 “We can’t waste anymore time. Hurry with the next part! There are still some towns here that need to be evacuated!” Vash reminded them all, with his deer, heading over to continue helping these people. The others went ahead, only João and Roderich remained, both to stare at both sides of the view they had.

 The side were Khaos was wallowing in was filled with darkness, once such greet greens and rivers now in greys, smoke and only but cracked earth. Only some soldiers remained to fend and attack as continuous, preparing, swallowed and surely tearful with fear and mourning for their land. Roderich especially hurt…seeing his kingdom driven to this, a weeping he needed to hide…not now when there was still much to do, with Khaos still undefeated.

 They turned to the other side, these mountains doing well to hide the towns and even city in the distance that needed to be hurried out and emptied this instant. What gave them more panic was the fact that they could see the Spadian border from here, flags raised and armies ready to begin the defense and attack they had planned…what they had called new people for, begged for new plans and weapons.

 “Go and join the rest with the help in evacuating whose left, I’ll stay here and send messages if anything else happens,” João suggested, hiding his own turmoil by focusing on the writing he had to do.

 João would be alone then…something that didn’t sit well with Roderich. Now they needed to be together, to help and aid…

 ”Roderich!” He turned to see Elisa, ruined and panic in her eyes, “some people won’t leave unless it is by your command. You have to hurry! They believe that you’ll manage everything, and their towns won’t be destroyed!”

 Roderich decided on hurrying instead, only being able to send João luck.

  “Khaos is right at Spade’s doorsteps!” Louis announced the contents.

 “I’m writing the commands to begin and act!” Arthur exasperated, not liking to be reminded.

 In this array, in this action and load of continuous working, Elizabeta couldn’t bring herself to go on, heavily bended on her desk, trying to hide her expression of dread. Currently, Kandake was the only one that could grant her comfort, a hand soothing on her back, telling her a mantra to keep breathing.

 “All of Clubs is destroyed…everything is gone…” Elizabeta went on to whimper and mourn over the loss of her kingdom, under her reports on how every single province had suffered a darkened poison, all her population left without a home, runaways in other kingdoms she didn’t know could last and the rest…dead…gone, a pain adding and only sinking her more in this position. Others could only stare, not knowing what reach they could make at such a happening…one that would surely befall on them.

 Aldrich sighed and turned from all to stare back at the pool…hoping for some new hope from Feliciano’s body, still suspended and drifted…no changes. It had only been a couple of days since they began mourning…they shouldn’t be expecting anything for the coming weeks. Pookie was the only one that sat and took watching next to him, patient and still for his master’s return. Aldrich gripped the latest letter that arrived…not finding it in him to read aloud and worsen the air.

 As the Spadian border was spotted and was ready for the onslaught…the Hearts border was preparing itself for the same faith.

  Herakles walked the line all the time, one end to the other, sometimes using ferries, even serpents that lived in these waters and offered their help. He wanted to believe it stood powerful, everybody armored, ordered in precision, men and women from different parts of Hearts…even other Kingdoms, ready to face off this monster.

 A particular shout made many gasp out of order, for Herakles to see the shake clear in many of their eyes, their grips tightening around their weapons, some making clear sound. Over in the distance, a haze yet still on those hills of Clubs, above it all stood the rage of Destro, the armies there dealing what they could in their battle, the shines of their spell alighting the darkness of this monster. They were all small, like nothing…none of this was working.

 Soon…once the monster could take his passage through the mountains, it would cross the sea, blacken it and then it would be a battle of their responsibility. It would touch ground in Hearts for the first time and begin its ever approach on Berlin.

  “Feliciano…Feliciano!” All it took was just the right shout, to make his vision clear again, to halt his breathes enough so they could slowly settle at their usual pace. “Remember… we’ll figure something out…we’ll find a way…” The boy seemed to lead him back into place, back into his position, into realizing where he was, to the plans…to thinking. Feliciano gave a half smile, turning to the others to nod and make his way elsewhere in the town…somewhere where they could be alone to think…and realize what it was they should do next. They chose a forgotten corner where no one came to bother them, the water reaching at the steps there, Feliciano meeting for that same relax, that sign to head into his mind and let words wander again. It was also a moment to truly let his breaths go back to their usual rhythm…and to try and forget about the scene he just created. He looked back, noticing that the crowds went to focusing on other things, on those who came new here…Feliciano intended to apologize once it was time to leave.

 “If he’s not here…then, he’s not really dead,” Timoteo alighted, sure and positive.

 Feliciano couldn’t join in it…for his mind only repeated that he was gone, out of a reach that they couldn’t hold to anymore. “Timoteo, I know you want to help…and I know you want to believe that Ludwig is out there…but it’s just-”

 “What happened to Romulus?”

 It was so sudden that Feliciano took some time to settle on the new question. He thought to all the stories, all the readings, new and old…that letter Ludwig had received from him…that tearful confession on the past field long ago. “Augusta had thought he was gone…”

 “But she kept hope didn’t she! What was it that she thought that she desperately tried to believe in? The reason she hid her own importance, erased from history all together.”

 “Because…she thought Romulus’s soul was still alive somehow…even if not in the Interludes…and if it was given enough attention it could come back…” Slowly the mechanics in his mind started to turn, started to fall in their place to give it more thought. The letter…the letter. “She was…partially right. Romulus’s spirit did survive…it was just…Khaos kept it…he tainted it with darkness and gave it to the Beilschmidt line to pass through…like Augusta was passing through mine…” he stood as it came clearer in his mind like water. “Like Khaos, like me…Ludwig was going to go through his own surge…he was going to…” His mind headed in that darkness, the one he had learned from Ludwig, to understand, to read out the answer, like runes, like monsters, screaming and avenging in nightmares, now in their world come to life. “Khaos…captured him…tainted him…” He paced in anguish as the reality became surer, trying to escape, seeing if perhaps there was something he missed. When there was really nothing else…he suddenly stopped and froze at what it meant. “He was…” he shook, he saw, right before him as if ready to swallow him all. “I know…oh no…I know…”

 Timoteo came up and tried to reach him, “what? What is it?”

 Feliciano turned, horror in his eyes, “I know what happened to Ludwig…I know where he is.”

[timeaftertime-chriscornellfanfic]

Chapter 24 - Realize, Sweet Babe, We Ain’t Never Gonna Part

Seattle Washington, April 9 1990

(Andi is 20, Chris is 25)

ANDI: I wake to the bright July sun as it pours through the tall window of our bedroom. I open one eye and lift my head glancing at the clock to see that it was only 7:30am. Why does it have to be so bright so early in the morning? I groan and smush my face back into the pillow, my curls covering whatever the pillow wasn't and hear the bedroom door slowly open. I can hear Chris enter the room as the old hardwood floor slightly creaks. I keep my eyes closed, attempting to fall back to sleep but I feel him climb up on to the edge of the bed, playfully pulling the black sheet down over my body, revealing my black lacy panties.

"You awake beautiful?" He asks, his voice raspy from his performance at The Moore Theatre last night. It was his first gig since the European tour and it was fucking amazing. The only thing is that he and Jason were fighting the entire time, and Jason fucked up a few times but other than that, Chris was just 'on ' you know?

I let out a muffled groan as he moves over top of me, his rough fingers brushing across my back, moving my curls out of the way and places his lips between my shoulder blades, his morning stubble prickling me .

"No, I'm not awake... so sleepy," I say into the pillow and I hear him chuckle as he places sweet kisses up to the back of my neck.

"Well I hope this will wake you up," He says in my ear and as I turn to look up at him, pushing my mess of curls out of my eyes, I see him holding a small simple diamond ring between his fingers.

"Chris?" I say, my voice still full of sleep. I sit myself up, using the pillow to shield my bare chest as he holds the ring out to me kneeling in just his blue plaid boxer shorts, his curls messy from sleeping, falling across his gorgeous blue eyes.

"I know it's not much... it's pretty much all I can afford right now but... If you're going to be my wife, you need a ring so... " He trails off as he looks down at the ring and then looks back at me.

We still haven't told anyone that we're engaged because he wanted to keep it a secret. I think I know why he did now that he is holding this beautiful ring out to me.

"You still wanna marry me right?" He asks raising his eyebrow at me.

"Yes, Chris," I laugh. I hold my hand out to him with an excited smile on my face and he slips the ring on my finger. I then move the pillow from my chest and practically fall into his arms, threading my fingers through his curls and pressing my lips to his. He chuckles against my lips but then deepens the kiss as I flip him over so that I'm on top of him.

"Good, Now I can go pee," I giggle as I pull away from his lips and push myself away from him as he gives me a bewildered look.

"Hey, wait a minute, " Chris laughs reaching out for me as I quickly climb out of bed laughing, my curls falling across my face.

"I'll only be a sec - "I giggle as I make my way to the bedroom doorway but without warning, I am instantly slipped into another time and place once again.

*****

CHRIS: "Babe?" I call out as I see Andi disappear before my eyes, the diamond ring bouncing on the hardwood floor making a high pitched dinging sound before landing on the lace of her black panties. I sit up and run my fingers through my roots saddened and worried about where and when she has slipped to this time. I know I always say this but I will never get used to this happening. I just hope she comes back to me soon.

I let out a long sigh and slowly climb out of bed, walking over to where the ring was laying on the floor and shining so brightly. It didn't even occur to me that she wouldn't be able to wear it without possibly losing it if she happened to slip at some point - which is exactly what happened. I pick it up from the floor and walk over to her dresser that sat beside the full length mirror, placing her ring on top.

"Oh baby... whenever you are... I hope you're ok,"

*****

Houston Texas, July 20 1994

(Andi is 20 and 24, Chris is 30)

ANDI: "No.. no, no, no..." I say as I find myself on a cold tile floor of a bathroom trying to sit myself up and figure out just where I am. I have no idea where or when I am but I'm guessing it's in the future, since the air feels a little different. I definitely do not recognize anything about this bathroom. It's small and very white with only a shower stall, the sink vanity displaying a bunch of different miniature shampoos and lotions and white bath towels hanging off the rack with a logo imprinted down at the bottom.

"Holiday Inn?" I say and realize that I'm in a hotel bathroom.

I gather myself up, hanging on to the sink vanity to steady myself , grab one of the towels from the rack and wrap myself in it just in case there was anyone in the room. I push my curls from my eyes and open the bathroom door. I then slowly peak my head out into the room and see that there is no one here but I do see a couple of luggage bags beside the Queen size bed. I also see 2 guitar cases sitting beside the luggage bags and I somehow recognize the one that has an Aerosmith patch and a Black Sabbath patch on it, along with a bunch of other bands - a lot of them I haven't ever heard of. The Aerosmith patch is in exactly the same spot where I sewed mine on to just yesterday before Chris's concert.

I take one more look around making sure no one is here and step further into the room over towards the guitar cases and pull the zipper down revealing my '90 silver sparkle Gretsch Duo Jet with the leather guitar strap that Andy got me for my birthday.

"Ok... this is my room?" I say somewhat confused and unzip the second guitar case revealing a Cherry Burst Gibson with a Soundgarden decal sticker just below the pick guard. "...our room I mean?" I chuckle and I suddenly hear someone outside the hotel room door. I quickly zip up the guitar cases and run back into the bathroom just as the hotel room door opened.

"Babe is that you?" I hear Chris's voice call just as I make it back into the bathroom. My heart started to pound and I had no idea if I should answer or just stay quiet. I hear his footsteps walking up to the bathroom door and just as he opens it I jump, startled that he caught me in here, though it wasn't like I was desperately trying to hide myself since I really don't know where or when I am.

"How did you get back here so fast?" He laughs as his blue eyes glance at me up and down, wearing a white loosely fitted tank top and black baggy shorts with his Doc Martins .

"I uh... um... well..." I stutter as I am unable to take my eyes off of how different he looks. He cut his hair. He has it kind of messy curly but it's so short. He also grew a beard. He looks so different that I have no idea what to say

"Oh I get it... is this like, part of my birthday present?" He raises his eyebrow and smirks.

Birthday...ok... so at least I know it's July 20th... just wish I knew the year though.

"Um... yea, yea it... is," I try to sound convincing but I honestly have no idea what I'm doing. I place my hand over my chest holding up the towel as he steps towards me. I give him a half smile as he leans down to me, placing his lips on mine.

His lips feel incredible as he cups my face in his palms, deepening the kiss, as his tongue plays with mine. I suck his bottom lip like I always do, completely caught up in the moment and he pulls away touching his forehead to mine. He then attempts to take the towel from me and as he glances down to take my hand that was holding up the towel, his expression changes to confusion.

"You're time slipping aren't you?" He asks, his eyes looking into mine.

"Um... yea" I say sheepishly and suddenly the hotel door opens.

"Chris, are you here?" I hear my own voice calling out as Chris's eyes grow wide with panic.

"Chris?"

I then see myself appear at the bathroom door and though this has happened only a handful of times before, it's still disorienting to see yourself in two places at once. Chris turns from me to see the other me standing in the doorway and then glances back at me and I can tell the wheels are spinning in his head.

"Well um... this is..." Chris starts and I just give him a little smile. I glance at the other me and see that I look pretty much exactly the same. My long dark curls well passed my shoulders, wearing a pair of high waisted ripped black leggings, my Doc Martens and a band shirt that was cut up into a crop shirt, showing just a little bit of my stomach - which doesn't seem like me at all - and had the name of Pantera across the front in white blocked writing.

"Andi?" The other me says and I nod, still feeling awkward that I'm standing in a towel. She then walks over to me placing her hands on either side of my arms and gives me a warm smile, then pulls me in to hug her. Once again it was that moment where my future self and my present self immediately gain the memory of this, as if it was there all along.

"So um... is it considered cheating if I was just about to have my way with you in the shower?" Chris says and we both laugh.

"Ok that's just way too weird to hear you laugh at the same time in the same way," Chris says as we continue to giggle and he walks out of the bathroom.

"You think he would be used to this kinda thing," I say and the other me laughs.

"C'mon, you honestly think that?" She giggles.

"No," I say and she smiles at me.

"C'mon... I'll get you some clothes," She walks towards the bathroom door and I follow to see Chris sitting in a large reading chair across from the bed, pouring himself a shot of Jack Daniels.

"Here, these will work," She says and closes up one of the luggage bags, walking over and handing me a band shirt and ripped jeans, some panties and a pair of black and white Chuck Taylors.

"No it's ok, I'm not sure how long I'm gonna, you know... be here," I say but she still hands them to me.

"Andi it's fine, you can't sit in a towel the whole time," She smiles and she's right. I take them from her and glance at Chris as he downs the shot of Jack Daniels, he winks at me and I smirk, and head back into the bathroom to quickly change. Once I do I come back out and Chris looks back and forth at me and the other me and pours another shot.

"Damn... it's just so fucking... weird," He chuckles and downs another shot.

"Hey there birthday boy, don't drink too much yet. We still gotta get into the club," The other me giggles and Chris just shrugs.

" So um... what year am I in?" I say.

" '94" She says.

"What year are you um... slipping from?" Chris asks as he leans back in the chair.

" 1990... June 1990" I say.

"Well I must look completely different to you then," Chris chuckles.

"Not completely but, yea a little different," I smirk and he smiles at me.

"Ok I remember, oh wow this is weird, I remember you gave me that ring and like a few minutes later I slipped... remember?" The other me glances at Chris.

"Yea.. I do... I remember feeling like an idiot that I didn't think about the fact that you couldn't wear a ring because you would lose it," Chris says pouring another shot.

"Wait... are we married?" I ask glancing between the other me and Chris.

"Uh huh... since September 1990," She smiles at me.

"Don't... tell me anymore... I - "

"Wanna be surprised?" She finishes my sentence.

"Yea," I smile.

"Well the only thing I'll tell you is don't be so nervous when you step into the tattoo studio. I really would hate to have the whole time slipping experience happen again in the middle of it," She giggles.

"What?" I ask confused. She then holds up her left hand and points to her ring finger - my ring finger - and I see a tattoo where a wedding band should be. I take her hand and look at the design, then look back at her.

"It's the only thing that I could do, so that I could keep him with me no matter what," She says her eyes welling up just a little bit. Just as I was about to hug her again - cause I can't stand seeing myself cry - I hear the extremely loud ringing in my ears again and I stubble backwards.

"Shit, baby?" Chris says as he leaps up off the chair to catch me.

"I'm sorry... I - I'm... I-" I stutter and begin to feel myself fade.

"It's ok baby," His voice sounding like a faint distant memory as I find myself back in our bedroom, on the bedroom floor trying to catch my breath.

*****

Seattle Washington, June 5 1990

(Andi is 20, Chris is 25)

ANDI: "Baby, holy shit... that was fast. Are you ok?" I hear Chris's voice as he crouches down to me on the floor while I sit myself up coughing just a little.

"Yea, yea I'm ok," I cough. He then takes me in his arms and holds me like he always does and I love how he feels so warm and comforting, ready to save me every time I come back to him.

"Where did you go?" He asks as I rest my head on his bare chest.

"I went ahead this time... um... 1994" I say in between my breaths.

"Holy shit," He says, his voice vibrating through his chest.

"Yea, holy shit," I giggle.

"Is everything ok?" He asks and places his lips on top of my head. I then lift myself away from him looking into his eyes as he brushes a few curls out of mine.

"Everything is fine. I um... I have an idea on an engagement ring that I won't lose, you know just in case I slip again," I say and he raises his eyebrow at me.

"Oh yea? What's that?" He chuckles.

"How do you feel about tattoos?"

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Routine

Keanu Reeves x Reader (A/n- Just a fluff fest that I conjured up whilst wishing I could spend a lazy day with Keanu. Even if we might not be able to, lets live vicariously through writing) (A/n 2- Idk why this took me so long to write, laziness at it’s finest right here guys.) Warnings= Implied smut......I guess

6:43 am

There’s a tickling in the crook of her neck and a strong arm has wrapped itself around Y/n naked waist. As she blinks herself awake, the sun has almost completely risen and warm rays are filtering through the glass balcony door. For just a second, Y/n pretends that she’s still asleep, waiting to see how far he’ll take his ministrations. Keanu’s kisses on her neck start growing longer and she gets the feeling that he’s trying to leave little marks that will remind her of him when she tries to cover them with make-up. No doubt he’ll be successful, he always is. Suddenly his flattened palm on her stomach travels downwards to her womanhood and he dips his fingers between her bare thighs. Surprised, Y/n gasps, giving herself away.

“Good morning,” Keanu greets accompanied by another kiss, this time reaching over to her cheek. 

“It certainly is, isn’t it?” Y/n giggles quietly, scooting herself closer to him, feeling his arousal against her back.

Keanu hums in agreement then encourages her to turn around, finally they’re face to face, “I had a dream about you,” he muses with a giddy smile plastered on his handsome face.

“A good one I hope,” Y/n’s hand travels up Keanu’s chest, settling at the edge of his jaw.

“If they’re about you they’re only the best,” Keanu tries to pull her closer and their lips meet.

For a second, Y/n groans in protest, “I haven’t brushed my teeth,” she presses against his firm chest but eventually gives in.

“Neither have I,” Keanu mumbles against Y/n lips.

Bursting into a fit of laughter, “You’re gross.”

“You bring that out in me,” Keanu teases back and Y/n scoffs, feigning offense.

In one fluid motion, Keanu throws a leg on the other side of Y/n and rolls them over so he's on top, his weight supported by his elbows sunk into the mattress. He leans down to her and Y/n brings her hands around Keanu’s neck and soon enough, they become a tangle of limbs.

7:35am

Keanu hurries down the stairs, following the smell of coffee and pancakes in the frying pan. When he reaches the kitchen, Y/n is standing at the stove, wearing his shirt from the night before. The sleeves are rolled up at her elbows and she looks smaller that she usually does, the dark fabric swallowing her up. Next to her, on the counter, is the bowl, still half filled with batter, along with her favorite mug. Upbeat music is playing softly from her phone on the island and Y/n sways her hips in time with the beat. 

Instead of announcing his presence, Keanu lingers in the doorway, admiring Y/n. It’s usually in moments like these, when she isn’t aware that he’s looking that he finds himself wondering how he got this lucky. The optimum of perfection, beauty and everything good in the world, right here in the kitchen, the same one that used to feel so empty just a year ago. She’s everything he could have dreamed of and more, gorgeous, smart, witty and in love with him.

Turing around for a plate, Y/n jumps a little when she see him standing there, a small smile twisting her lips, “How long have you been standing there?” She blushes, realizing that she must have looked ridiculous dancing. 

“Not long enough.” Keanu strides up to her, taking her in his arms, pressing his lips to hers, “I like it when you dance.”

“Yeah?” She giggles, then begins swaying again, her front brushing against his. Y/n throws her arms around Keanu’s neck, tangling her fingers in his drying hair, toying with the edges as he starts to dance with her. His hands travel to her the curve of her backside, slipping under the he of the shirt. Easily, Keanu lifts Y/n off the floor, resulting in squeals of delight. “Keanu!” She giggles and he nibbles on the edge of her jaw, “Come on, the pancakes are gonna burn.”

He doesn’t relent though, instead, he tightens his grip on her with one hand, using the other to turn off the burner, “Problem solved,” he mumbles against her lips, walking them over to a chair at the kitchen table. “Now, where were we?” They both smile as his hands travel to her front, groping her breasts through the shirt before quickly undoing the buttons, tossing it to the floor.

8:22am

“I really need to start getting ready for work. I have a meeting for nine,” Y/n tries to wiggle out of Keanu’s grip but the more she tries to move the more he seems to want her to stay.

“Call in sick,” he counters, pulling her down into his lap so his lips can find her neck. Feeling him on her skin, Y/n relaxes, submitting to his touch, moaning a little. It isn’t even nine yet but she’s already growing a little sore between her legs. “Stay here with me today.”

Y/n smiles at his request, “I can’t. What’s gotten into you?” She laughs, trying to playfully swat him away. “You’re insatiable this morning.”

“You’ve gotten into me,” he lets her go, trailing behind Y/n as she heads up to the bathroom. When she turns to look at him, her face more serious, he frowns, “I don’t know, I just don’t want you to go. Can’t we just spend the day together, I promise it’ll be fun,” Keanu hold his hands out to her.

Y/n’s shoulders slump and she’s finding it extremely hard to say no to his offer, “I guess it has been a while since we spent an entire day together,” she sighs watching his grin grow, already knowing that she’s going to give in, “Fine.” 

Keanu pulls Y/n in, “I love you,” he mummers against her lips as they move along with his.

“I love you too,” she says softly. When they break she pulls away, shrugging Keanu’s shirt that hangs loosely on her shoulders, “I’m going to take a shower.” As she’s tossing the shirt to the laundry hamper, Keanu saunters through the open bathroom door, sans t-shirt. “What are you doing?” Y/n rolls her eyes as he closes the distance, leaving her pressed the glass shower door.

“I thought you’d like some company, maybe some help,” Keanu’s hands find Y/n’s waist, his fingers pressing lightly into the smooth skin there. His teeth graze her earlobe and she moans quietly her fingers gripping the elastic waist of his sweat pants. “Is that a yes?”

Her eyes shine with mischief as Y/n pushes the door open and walks backwards into the large walk in shower, pulling Keanu along.

2:35pm

After about an hour of lounging at the poolside, dark clouds cover the sun, and the air cooled but Y/n and Keanu thought nothing of it until a light drizzle turned into a full on shower, accompanied by thunder and lightening. Now, they’re in the living room, cuddled together on the sofa with the television playing an old romance. “I’m glad you decided to stay home today. I would have hated for you to be caught in that on you way home,” he quietly breaks the silence, referring to the torrential downpour outside.

Y/n smiles beside herself at his concern, “You worry too much,” she turns in his arms to press a kiss to the side of his lips, his scruff rough against her smooth skin. “It probably would have died down by the time I got ready to leave.”

Keanu frowns slightly. Y/n always seemed to have a hard time understanding his worry, but he knew that she tried, “I’d have still been worried. The road is dangerous when it’s all wet.”

This time, Y/n doesn’t dismiss him, instead, she spins her body completely, gabbing his face in her hands, “Listen mister, no matter what, there could be a 100 slippery, wet roads, I’ll always find my way back to you. I promise.”

Keanu smiles, caressing her face adoringly, “I love you Y/n, don’t ever not come home, please,” his smile saddens and Y/n repositions herself again, kneeling in his lap, feeling the familiar roughness of his beard in her fingers. 

Her subtle smile matches his and between sweet kisses, “I promise, besides, I’ve got no where better to be. And I love you too.”

After a while, innocent kisses turn heated and Keanu easily flips them over so Y/n is sprawled out beneath him, clad in only his t-shirt and her bikini from earlier. “You’re so sexy,” he compliments when he finally rids her of the clothes and Y/n’s cheeks burn as if it’s the first time he’s ever said it.

Biting her lips, her hands travel to the elastic waist of his pants, slipping beneath the material. When she cups his erection, giving a playful squeeze, Keanu groans, thrusting involuntarily into her hand, “Is this how sexy you think I am?” Her words are a breathy whisper.

“Baby, that’s just half of it,” Keanu manages, burying his face in her neck, removing her hand so she can him out of his remaining clothes, “Let me show you what I really think,” he mummers, kissing his way down her body, making her squirm under him, losing herself in his touch.

11:25 pm

“Ugh, it’s so late,” Y/n moans as she gets under the covers, pulling them up to her chest the minute she’s in bed. “And it’s cold.”

After a couple minutes, Keanu struts out of the bathroom, shirtless, with a pair of sweats sitting low on his hips. “You’re so whiney,” he teases playfully, turning off the overhead lights and checking the windows one last time before sliding in next to her, “It’s not even that cold.”

“Speak for yourself,” she grumbles, rubbing her hands up and down her bare arms, maybe tonight was the kind of night that called for more than just her boyfriend’s t-shirt as pajamas. Huffing, Y/n starts tosses the covers aside, ready to go rummage through her drawer for something warmer, when Keanu grabs her wrist, encouraging her to get back into bed. “What?” She giggles.

“Come here,” he reels her in until their laying face to face, her leg draped over his side, wrapped in his arms, “Let me keep you warm,” he smiles.

“Oh? What did you have in mind?” Y/n’s arms wound around his neck, trying to close the inexistent space between them. Keanu mumbles are response that Y/n doesn’t hear, but she quickly gets the idea when he encourages her out of her panties and loses his sweat pants.

12:03 am

It’s just past midnight when Y/n falls asleep, curled against Keanu’s chest with just the comforter and his embrace to keep her warm. They exchange sleepy goodnights and she’s soon lulled to sleep by the steady sound of his heartbeat.

Keanu doesn’t stay awake for much longer either and soon, his breathing slows as he succumbs to sleep, contented with Y/n in his arms, knowing that even when he leaves her in wake, their love will follow him to his dreams.

[thegoldenembers]

Reunion of the Embers

Rayn Atkascha crossed her arms tightly, nerves starting to shake her voice. "Luquelot, you realize I can't go off on my own to try and gather the materials I need... I need some sort of companion to help me through this forest!" Her voice quivered. The elezen sighed and pat the chocobo beside him. "Sorry Rayn, but you know I can't issue you any chocobo without the proper license. You have to have papers from one of the Grand Companies." With a sigh and a small kick to a rock, Rayn nodded...

Rayn Atkascha: "I understand that... but.. I just don't see why we can't.. sign something and make this work!" The man nodded awkwardly and cleared his throat. "I can't afford any sort of mercenary to come protect me.. a chocobo would do fine, I would think.." She said with defeat.

Eanrin Farthestshore nods and accepts the payment from Keitha and smiling brightly. "Your chocobos should be safe from those wandering Diremite.  Please send me a note if more find their way north."

Eanrin Farthestshore turns and pockets the funds with a small sigh, running his fingers through his bangs, and frowning at them.

Mallo Ra'ri: "It never fails... Despite me being the one crypt diving around dusty places, you're the one that comes out looking worst for the wear." Mallo sighs, pulling leaves from the grey Chocobo's feathers, " One would think you were the one doing the treasure hunting, not aimlessly wandering around outside. But still, I wouldn't be anywhere without you. I'd say you earned some Gyshal!" Mallo smiles and scratches the chocobo's neck, getting a excited 'Kweh!" in return. With a sigh, the man put both hands on his hips and frowned. "Again, there isn't any way I could. You know perfectly well I'd get in a heap of trouble if I just gave you a chocobo. Twelve forbid it got spooked, and you couldn't control it and ended up hurt! I can't let you, Rayn, I'm sorry." As he turned away, the miqo'te girl threw a hand to her head in frustration. "What am I gonna do..?" She whined softly, turning around to sit on a bucket filled with grain, not even bothered by them getting throughout her skirt and about her shoes.

Eanrin's ears twitched a second time... like they were trying to tell him something.  He'd taken refuge in the shade, working on peeling a La Noscean Orange while mentally ticking a mark off his list.  It was the miqo'te's distressed voice that finally drew about 25% of his focus off his meal.  He caught the last of the exchange, and his mind and ears ticked again at the name of Rayn.

Mallo accepts the small sack of freshly picked gysahl and forks over gil before a drip of rain on his ear startles him. He glances at the stable, takes the reigns in hand and leads Marsh over after giving a quick thanks to Margault. " Can't have you getting dirty AND soaked."

After sulking for a little moment longer, Rayn looked out beyond the stables and frowned deeply at the sky. "And now it's drizzling.. great! That's exactly what I need! I don't even know how to get back to the inn and now it's starting to drizzle?!" She exclaimed angrily at no one in particular. She hung her head in defeat once more, whining just a tad bit longer.

Eanrin's mind was still grinding at a name he hadn't heard in 11 years.  But... honestly... what were the chances there was another blonde female miqo'te named Rayn?!  He stole a glance at the "damsel in distress,"  grinning a little ruefully at her predicament.  But he wasn't sure, and it had been so long.... he bit a small corner of his lip as he resolved himself to help her.

Over the gentle kwehs of the chocobo and the rain picking up outside, Mallo's ears perk up at a voice. A familar one at that. He took a few steps a little closer towards the voice, curious at who was so distraught and what they could be distraught about.

With a small thoughtful breath, Rayn's hands balled into fists in her lap. "Okay. Okay... I can do this.. I can find my way back to the inn.. it was just.. past all those trees." She said with a nervous determination. Standing up, she pat the back of her skirt off and looked out to the open space once more. Eyeballing the rain falling down heavier, tears started forming in her eyes. "There's so many trees..." She whimpered, putting a hand to her cheek. "What am I gonna do..?" She whispered.

Eanrin's heart broke a bit for the look on the girl's face.  Stuffing the remains of his dinner away, he made his way over. "I hate to see such a look on a girl's face."  He grinned brightly.  "You hardly look the adventuring type.  Are you lost?"  He mentally kicked himself, but stuck to his phrase.  Gotta be confident, and try and hope the kindness is seen... but he almost expected to be kicked in the shins.

The familiar voice was clearer and as the young woman stood up and became visible from behind the stable railings, Mallo immediately placed who it was. " Rayn?" He excitedly weaved through the stable, dodging chocobos and careful not to step in anything...unfavorable as he made his way to her. "Is that you, Rayn?" His white ears stood up in surprise, " It's been years, what the heck are you doing so far from Limsa?" He studied her sadden expression, then his attention turned to the taller miqo'te before her. There was something about him that the smaller Miqo couldn't put his finger on, but his eyes darted back to his friend quickly, " Is everything okay?"

"I-I.. I don't.. I don't know how to get back.." Rayn whimpered softly. Her eyes hadn't even left the sight of looking out to the rain. Anxiety filled, she took very small breaths, all while trying to not show her dismay outwardly, and failing to do so. Wiping a premature tear from her eye, hearing her name brought her back to reality. Lazily she looked around and saw a shorter miqo'te boy making her way through the crowded stables around chocobos. "Mallo...? Wait, what are you doing here?" She seemed a bit stunned at the sight of her old friend, not knowing if it was just her mind playing tricks on her, or if it was actually so. She blinked and rubbed her eyes aggressively, trying to recognize the face with the more mature miqo'te boy. Eanrin was reeling now.  How in the hells?  He knew there was no coincidence now, and was struggling to match the faces of his closest friends to the ones standing before him.  Suddenly he was super nervous.  A sensation he hadn't felt in a LONG time.  There was a little fear in there too... her face was similar to the day he had left....  Tongue tied, he dropped his arms to his sides, and remained in the background of the current conversation while his heart and mind roared inside.

"I just finished a small treasure hunt but that's not important..." Mallo pushed aside the fact that his treasure hunt rewarded him with nothing but weird and probably useless handful of carved stones as he frowned and tilted his head to the side in worry, " How did you get to the Shroud all the way from Limsa? Did you get lost or something??" Mallo bit his lip in worry at Rayn who stood there looking so miserable.

Rayn looked over the two miqo'te in front of her, still trying to process. "I uhm.." On one hand, she had her childhood friend standing right there in front of her. On the other... possibly the same? She leaned in naturally to give Mallo a big hug, all the while looking at Eanrin, and studying his face. Scars aplenty across the golden man's face, some fresher than the rest. He looked so familiar, and yet something was different. She found herself staring at the monochrome eye longer than would have been polite. She shook her head and smiled weakly over at Mallo. "I-I came to the Black Shroud to try and pick up a new trade..." She said meekly. "But I don't know how to get back to town... I just wanted a chocobo, but I'm no adevnturer.."

The smile never leaving his face, Earnin watched the two.  Knowing he needed to say something... ANYTHING... He scrubbed his hand against the back of his neck as he blurted "And you're not part of a Grand Company, I'll bet.  Dear girl, I admire your moxy... venturing all the way out here from town but..." With a small sniff he shook his head and smiled at Mallo.   "Mallo, my friend, shall we return the miss to Gridania?  She's probably fretting over missing dinner.  Or worse, a stitch."  He said this past often repeated saying with a bit of emphasis. Hoping it would jog a bit of recognition without him outright guffawing, GUYS, IT"S ME!  THE JERK WHAT RAN OFF -eleven- years ago!"

Mallo had returned the hug, hoping it'd offer some kind of comfort to her, but upon hearing the older Miqo'te speak the way only an old friend would speak and could only step back in shock. He gazed at him and then squinted. Golden hair, check. Golden eyes (Well... eye, now), check.  That demeanor, check. "Eanrin..?" He could only fumble out a slight whisper. A familiar phrase sent a chill down Rayn's spine. She looked back over at Eanrin, and then back between the two men in front of her. Was this just a whole flashback right before her very eyes? No, it couldn't be! These two are older! And.. taller! Much taller! "Ean.. Eanrin?" Rayn rubbed her eyes once more and looked back and forth again. She let out a happy sigh and grabbed each of their arms. "Mallo?.. And Eanrin? Both here?" She could hardly get her words out right before tears actually began running down her cheeks. "This.. this can't be real. This isn't real." She squeezed both their arms gently. "How is this possible?" Eanrin Farthestshore grinned, shedding a couple tears of his own.  "Your guess is as good as mine.  Winds know, I've hoped I'd find either one of you again on my visits through Limsa. And then I run into the both of you -here- of all places.... "  He stared down at his feet in shugrin before looking back up at Rayn and Mallo. "You still mad at me for leavin' you guys?   I just... had to do something better with my life than stealing."  His face was a mixture of joy and consternation.

Mallo felt a tinge of sadness at remembering how one day Eanrin just...vanished without a word. But Mallo was just a kid back then and couldn't understand. But this was now and seeing how he left Limsa on his own after becoming an adult as well, he couldn't be mad. He gave a knowing smile and shook his head, " I'm not mad...I'm stunned that after all this time, here we are. Together again. What are the chances?"

Rayn Atkascha smiled even while the tears streamed down her face. A giggle came out even, as she wrapped her arms in a tight hug around Eanrin, unable to let go for a moment. He was different, and definitely grown, but still the same. She felt saddened, seeing them both and remembering the pain of them each leaving off on their own. But joy quickly overshadowed that pain. "I'm so happy to see you..." She finally got out, releasing the hug momentarily before she weaved her arms between both of theirs to lock them on either side of her. "I'm so happy to see you both..."

Eanrin Farthestshore nodded and genuinely smiled, looking at his two friends.  "I don't know the odds, but I'll wager they're high and I just lost my chance at the Jumbo Cactpot!"  He laughed brightly.  "But, the matter still remains that our Rayn is once again lost.  How about we find someplace a bit cozier and you can tell me what exactly inspired the two of you to wander off on your own adventures without me."

Mallo nodded and used the clean side of his glove to wipe at his eyes. "Y-yeah, can't have Rayn wandering around like this. We got your back!" Mallo nodded at Rayn, then shot a smile to Eanrin as couldn't help but be starry eyed at his old friend, " And you have to tell us stories of your grand adventures, too. I bet you have so many stories to tell!"

Eanrin Farthestshore smiles warmly, then sniffs the air, tilting his head.  "As much as I love the smell of chocobo, let's head back to Gridania.  There's a ferry this way, and we can chat while we wait."  Laughing truly, also a thing he hadn't done in a long time, he skipped a small fraction and led his friends arm and arm down the road.

With a loud sniffle and burst of laughter, Rayn turned bright red in pure joy. "I honestly never thought a day like this would ever come again. How long has it been?" Her question had not a drip of sadness any longer. Just the three of them all in perfectly timed steps, arm in arm, brought so much joy to the naive miqo'te's heart. "Gosh it's been ages... and you guys have gotten so much taller! Look at this!" She wiggled her elbows to try and show the lack of similarity in height. "You both have changed so much.." She trailed off. If she didn't stop somewhere, she'd probably talk their ears right off.

Eanrin smiled at the linked arms.  "We've all changed.  Aye. I could hardly believe the pretty miqo in distress was my dear Rayn.  And then a giant Mallo arrives on the scene... if not for your names, I fear I may have not recognized you at all!"

" The golden hair and eye...s..." Mallo bit his tongue, and trails off, not knowing if the now grey eye was a sensitive topic, but then continued, " Those gave me that familar feeling, but the way you talked... It was like back when we were younger. But geez, you've gotten so much taller." Mallo laughed, then his gaze switched to Rayn, " And even though it's been just a few years, you've grown too. ...I hope I've grown some." Mallo stands on his tippy toes a bit, fighting back a groan before laughing, relaxing. " All those years and time apart suddenly don't feel so long with you guys here now."

Rayn beamed brightly at the familiarity between the two. "Hey now, I haven't changed that much, have I? I mean.. I might have gotten at least a little bit more mature looking, right..? Mama and Papa said so!" She puffed up her cheeks at Eanrin and then burst out into laughter. "Maybe not!" Releasing the link between them, she turned to face Mallo and put her hands out in front of her eyes, as if framing Mallo's face. "Let's see here..." She gave a series of 'hmm's and 'uh-huh's while randomly moving around him and in different directions. ".....Mmmm.. yup! I'd say you're definitely not a young one anymore! Look how handsome you've become!" She poked his nose and then ruffled his hair. "And you're almost as tall as I am!" The giggles continued as she turned toward the golden miqo'te and leaned into Mallo. "Ya know, maybe he could have shared some of his height with us.." She grumbled over to Mallo, all while giving Eanrin a sly grin. Eanrin felt that if his smile were to be any larger, the corners of his mouth would reach his ears.  Something inside his chest ached so badly, it broke but he found himself laughing.  Laughing like he hadn't in a really, really long time.  "My height is all mine, I tell you!  I worked hard to get it."  He crossed his arms in a mock/mean manner, his eyes glinting.  He reached out and clasped Mallo's shoulder. "I really can't believe how much you've grown. He smiled, then nodded his head towards the gazebo.  "I'm sure we have a thousand questions... shall we ask them while we enjoy some comfy seats?  I'll start!  Are you a treasure hunting adventurer, Mallo?"

"You sure you don't wanna share? I could sure use a bit more height." Mallo squinted jokingly at the taller Miqo'te before laughing. " I did become one! Selfproclaimedanyway..."Mallo caughed the last part of the sentence before going on excitedly, " I've made some nice gil here and there! ...Still got that dream of having my own cafe, ya know! And what about you? I'm sure you have all kinds of adventures and battles under your sleeves. I need to hear all of them." Mallo blabbers out as he leans forward excitedly, never losing his wonder and love of grand stories.

Rayn Atkascha: A smile never left her face as she watched the two boys go on and on about their adventures. Sitting here listening to each of them go on excitedly sounded so much like the times they shared many moments like this in their childhood. "Man I wish I could come up with some gil." She tilted her head, thinking and jokingly. There was something odd and different about her friend sitting in front of them, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Rayn's eyes followed each of the scars tracing his face until finally it came to her. Why was his eye such a dull color? What happened to him that he lost the color in his eye? Even in the midst of all the happy chatter, she couldn't help but feel worry for her friend, and her face probably showed it.

Eanrin smiled. "Self proclaimed is pretty much how you start out.  Then you work your way to a Legend!  I doubt you've heard of the great Bard Eanrin,  but rest assured, someday I'll be a household name... even if it's only among the chocobo breeders."  He chuckled and then launched into a  brief story describing his own wondrous act of eliminating a few stray Diremites earlier in the day.  "But that was nothing like the dragons I faced in Coerthas."  His eyes began shifting between Mallo and Rayn.  His story winding to a conclusion, he locked sober eyes directly on Rayn.  With a deep breath he tilted his head a bit to the side.  "Something troubling you, miss?"  His expression was equally sad.

A twinge of shock hit Rayn fast when she noticed the turn of the conversation. Darn her and her face being so transparent! "I, uh.. huh? Troubling me? Oh no no!" She smiled nervously and waved her hands in front of her. The last thing she wanted to do was bring up a touchy subject. But her heart sank thinking something bad must have happened to her dear friends. Having just found them again, there was no way she'd want to lose them again. "I think I must have just gotten a tad bit tired from such an exhausting journey. And then what an emotional surprise!" She quickly masked her disheartened feeling while a genuine smile. "I still can't believe you're both here in front of my very eyes.."

Mallo frowned and his ears flattened against the top of his head as he judged Rayn's face. Trouble was written all over her face, and even though he wasn't 100% what was wrong, he had a feeling he knew what. He avoided looking back at Eanrin because he knew his gaze would return on that discolored eye. He cleared his throat, " Speaking of journey... Why are you out here, again?"

Rayn followed suit in clearing her throat. "Well, I uhm.. Mama and Papa were saying that they'd like to someday retire. And I was listening in on their conversation, and they caught me," She said with annoyance; as if she could really sneak around and not be noticed. "But we talked a long time about how I could help, and I told them I wanted to try and bring more crafts in from around Eorzea. Maybe that way we could make more gil and Mama and Papa wouldn't have to work so hard anymore..?" The end of her statement turned more into a question filled with uncertainty. "I thought I could do it no problem now that I'm older... you both always sounded so strong when talking about your dreams of adventures and.. I guess I'm not cut out for it like you both are."

Eanrin Farthestshore: He noticed the exchanged glances, and the tension... twitching his ears, he fretted they were uncomfortable around him... but then thought to himself, "Well it has been 11 years... maybe they worry you've changed.  And... you have... but not for the worst..."  That last had him spiking back into fear.  This scarcely traveled emotion still baffled him so he mentally shook himself.  "Rayn, you put up with us all those years.  You are more than cut out for anything you put your mind to. He smiled brightly.  "And now that I've found you both again, I hope... perhaps we can help each other again. With the Golden Embers loose upon the world again, nothing could stop us.  Nothing could back in Limsa."  His grin morphed to dashing and optimistic.

Mallo nodded, his ears perking back up. " Yeah! I remember how Eanrin would hoist me up on narrow ledges as we roamed around Limsa, and how my clothes would get snagged and ripped and you would use the weaving skills you learned to stitch them back up. You need to give yourself more credit, Rayn." Mallo leaned over and gently nudged Rayn's arm with his,"  We wouldn't have been the same without you! Hehe... Makes me happy to think about it. The Golden Embers is still a thing, even after all these years..." He smiled, his tail flickering about like a feather duster out of control behind him. And as quickly as it started, his tail stopped as he looked towards the ground, " I...want us to be able to help each other again, and not...lose each other again."

Rayn Atkascha: It was like her heart was being plucked through fifty thousand emotions all at once. So much happens all at the same time! Tears flooded her eyes once more. "You.. you guys really think that the Golden Embers can still continue on?" Her lips quivered at the thought. "I thought we lost that all those years ago when we seperated..." She rushed to brush tears away. The thought of having her friends.. no.. her family back together again was more than she could imagine. And yet.. "You both wouldn't.. l-leave again, would you..?" Rayn asked softly while turning her face from them both. Gosh, she was such a crybaby. Eanrin's ears drooped slightly as he listened to his friends.  Knowing he was a root cause of the mess; he had done what he had to.  He couldn't undo his choices, but darned as he wasn't going to try his hardest not to burn what little was left.  He clutched this "golden" opportunity with a death grip in his heart, he outwardly turned and rummaged in his travel pack. His ears remained droopy, his eyes were a little misty, but he presented the two with linkshells. "You can contact me at -any- time, and I swear I will come to your aid as soon as I can." He glanced to Rayn and Mallo. "Do you have a place to stay?..."  At this his ears perked a bit and he chuckled.  "We're grown up, we could make that clubhouse we always dreamed about a reality..."  His voice trailed off as he glanced over towards the ferry.  The wheels a-turning.

Mallo Ra'ri: His tail went into instant feather mode again as he accepted the linkpearl from Eanrin, " We can really stay in touch? We...really could make it a reality. No more drawing silly little clubhouses on scraps of paper?" Mallo couldn't believe it. Not only did he have his friends back, but their 'club' would become something more? His gaze followed Eanrin's toward the ferry. " What do you say, Rayn?"

Eanrin Farthestshore: He was on a roll.  Turning towards Rayn he pointed at her, then sweeping his arm as he spoke to return it to the floor he excitedly jabbered.  "I have some connections with the Adders and the Maelstrom.  They -will- give you a chocobo license."

Rayn Atkascha: She reached over with still blurry eyes and brought the linkpearl closer to her face to try and better examine it. "W-Well.. it would be better than wasting all our gil on a dark room at the inn... w-which I don't know how to get back to anyhow.." Holding tightly to the pearl, she wiped her eyes better and looked up at Eanrin, and then over again at Mallo. "We're the Golden Embers again... finally." She smiled happily. "We need to make this a reality sometime! And it's *about* time!" She exclaimed, rising to her feet and putting out a hand toward Mallo to hold, and sticking out her free hand to help Eanrin up from the ground. "Together?"

Eanrin Farthestshore: He grinned brightly and clasped her hand.  "Together."  He nodded resolutely, standing on his feet.  "And I'll make sure they give you a chocobo what knows where it's going."  He grinned, his ears twitching happily as he turned and dashed for the ferry.

Mallo chuckled and ran after Eanrin excitedly, turning around to gesture to Rayn. This image in his mind was just like when they were kids and he couldn't be happier. " Last one to the ferry is a rotten egg!"

Rayn Atkascha: Still dazed from all the excitement, she finally caught on to Mallo's antics at the last second. "Oh, come on! Not again!" She yelled out after him. "Why is it always me?!" Rayn whined playfully and giggled as she trotted after them.

[moustacheimpossible-blog]

Smoke and Mirrors (Ch.1)

P.S. Thanks to those reading me! I just would like to add that English is my second language, so I’m trying my best to write without too many mistakes! Thanks and hello to my new followers :D

When Special Agent Charlie Callaway from the CIA goes Rogue, Erica Sloane sends her Top Agent August Walker after the Rogue woman with the obligation of bringing her back to Washington. Walker's new mission isn't something he had expected to be easy. Even though the young agent gives him a hard time, Walker isn't ready to give up on his mission yet and has more than one trick up his sleeve to catch the young rogue agent.

CHAPTER 1

Erica Sloane tossed a secret file on Special Agent Walker's desk, before putting back her hands on her hips.

"You've got a new Mission Walker! Open the file!" She ordered him with a firm tone. Walker grabbed the file and opened it. A confused gaze grew on his face as he recognized the young blonde agent. Not that he had worked with her in the past, but he had seen her several times at the CIA headquarters in Langley, he even knew where her residence was located. She even had a twin brother named Dave Callaway.

"Agent Callaway has gone Rogue... We don't know why, and we think she could be under the control of a man named Gael Hayden, but like I said we don't have much more information than this. The last time the 32-year-old agent was seen was a week ago. She was seen in London having lunch with a mysterious man. Probably Gael, but we weren't able to take a clear picture of his face."

As Erica explained to Walker what was the deal with Agent Callaway, August kept looking at the pictures found in the file. Most of the pictures were shots taken from afar, there was even one of Agent Callaway in a bathing suit on a popular European beach resort. Agent Walker couldn't help snickering when he observed the picture of Agent Callaway dressed in a bathing suit, obviously posing for someone, probably for the man taking the picture.

"I'm very serious Walker! There's nothing to laugh about in here. Special Agent Charlie Callaway was supposed to land back in Washington a month ago, and she's out there by herself. She's a precious Agent and I want her back, alive.

Walker scrubbed his stubble before raising his blue eyes to Erica.

"Why me? Don't you have other Special Agents already in Europe?" Erica sighed, and Walker understood that she wasn't in the mood at all for joking.

"I've chosen you because once Miss Callaway would've returned in here, she'd have joined you for a mission. Alas, this mission has been given to someone else since Agent Callaway hasn't returned. She would've been your new partner, charming isn't it Walker? She knew it, therefore I do assume that she was already trusting you! I only told her good things about you Walker.

Walker pushed his tongue against his cheek, looking at the pictures one last time. He found interesting that this Agent would've joined him for a Mission, something no one had told him about before.

"Fine, I accept your mission! It's not as if I have the choice at this point... Where do I go now?"

Erica finally displayed the hint of a smile as Special Agent Walker accepted the mission.

"First you'll have to pack your stuff and you'll stop at her residence, she does share her place with her twin brother. We weren't capable of reaching for this man because he was away on a trip, but he's back home now, perhaps he'll tell you things that could help us with understanding her change of mind. Then, I'll give you your flight tickets for London, this is where Gael Hayden is based, so she shouldn't be far. At this point, it will be your job to find her..."

Walker sighed, wondering why this young agent had decided to go Rogue... Was she in love with someone? Was she kept against her will? He didn't know and to be honest, he felt like this one wouldn't be an easy task.

"Alright!" He stood up from his desk and departed his office with the secret file held in his right hand. He headed home, took a shower and packed his suitcase with every item he'd need for his new Mission. He chose a classic blue navy suit, with a white shirt fitting with his dark tie. He dressed and grasped his Dolce & Gabbana perfume in order to feel neat. the Woody and masculine fragrance applied on his neck slowly filled the air of his bedroom. Knowing well that he had a long flight ahead of him, he didn't want to smell bad during his trip and decided to pack in his suitcase this new bottle of perfume he had recently purchased as a female friend suggested him it would fit him well. Ready to leave his house, Walker made sure his place was secured and placed his suitcases in his black Range Rover SUV before hitting the road.

It took around 25 minutes for August to reach the home of Charlie Callaway, luckily for him her twin brother was outside mowing the lawn. Walker parked the SUV on the side of the street and stepped out of the luxurious vehicle.

"Hi, I'm Special Agent August Walker!" He displayed his badge to the short blonde man standing near him.

"What do you want?" Asked the young man to Walker. August could tell he was worried for his sister.

"Don't worry, I don't have any bad news concerning your sister, but perhaps you could tell me more about her. Did you get any of her news since she decided to go rogue?"

The blonde man stopped the lawnmower and glanced at Walker with desperation.

"She called me a month ago and she told me how she had enjoyed two days at the beach in Europe."

August attentively listened to the man, cocking his head to the side when Charlie's brother mentioned that she had spent two days at the beach.

"Do you know if she was alone at the beach?"

Dave ended up snorting at Agent Walker.

"Charlie is... How could I explain it? Yes, she told me she had met someone over there. A man in his early 40's I think. Charlie is the kind of woman to fall in love quite rapidly, and she doesn't always fall for the right ones... But I doubt that she would've given up her whole life for a man though..."

Walker blinked his eyes rapidly, wondering if an Agent like Callaway could have really fallen in love with a man to the point of going rogue.

"Did she tell you who was this man?" The young man sharing a resemblance with Agent Charlie Callaway gulped loudly at the question asked by Walker.

"Nope! She didn't tell me anything, she just sounded in a hurry when she called me a month ago. I didn't really pay attention to it, I just convinced myself that she perhaps had met the love of her life and that she was just taking some few days off with him, but when I arrived today and found out that my twin sister wasn't in here, I couldn't help calling the headquarters and this is when Miss Sloane informed me that Charlie had gone rogue."

He was indeed saddened by the turn of event, and Walker didn't blame him at all.

"Alright Mister Callaway, I think that'll be enough for today. Erica has your phone number, so I'll try to keep you updated with your sister. Hopefully, I'll find her as soon as my contact will inform me of her location. I'll bring her back to you!"

He nodded at the young man and returned in his SUV, but just before driving away from the Callaway's residence, the twin brother knocked on the window on August's side. Walker lowered down his window to hear what he had to say.

"If you find her and can't convince her to come back, tell her that our grandmother is very sick. She wouldn't forgive herself if her grandmother was passing away before she could see her one last time."

Walker couldn't help snickering when the young man obviously had no idea what his job was.

"Don't worry, I won't even need to convince her. That will be quite easy to bring her back my friend!"

Walker's SUV was then seen speeding off the residence, leaving the twin brother back to his lawnmower...

He drove off to the airport where he encountered Erica Sloane that was waiting for him near the Airport Check-In. She had his flight tickets ready...

"Any news concerning our blondie Agent?" Walker narrowed his blue eyes as Erica focused on the fact that she was blonde. It was rare that Erica was being familiar with an Agent, he didn't think that Erica was this close to Charlie, but he knew that Erica had helped Charlie at some point in her life, which probably explained why Erica wanted Charlie to be back and safe as soon as possible. She must have considerate Charlie like a daughter thought Walker.

"I spoke with her twin brother, and he told me that she called him while she was relaxing at this beach resort in Europe. He also told me that Charlie had met a man and that she was apparently in love with him. That could explain why she went rogue."

Walker quickly caught Erica's eyes turning into narrow slits, not appreciating what she was hearing at all. If looks could kill, it'd be the one trapped on Erica's face by now.

"I hope for her it wasn't a one night stand, she will have to explain herself when she'll be back in Washington, she will realize that her little escape with the love of her life has a price!"

Even though Walker found the situation funny, he knew better than laughing in front of a preoccupied Erica. He also knew that she was caring about this young agent, but at the same time, he could tell that she was disappointed by the way things had turned out.

"No worries, I'll find her and I'll bring her back." Walker informed Sloan that he'd do anything in his power to find the young woman.

"Do whatever you have to do Walker, even if you have to kidnap her against her will, I don't care, I just want her alive in front of me!"

Walker nodded his head and grabbed the tickets as Sloan held them to him. He caught his flight and slept throughout the whole trip from Washington to London in order to start his mission without any delays.

Also Available at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15583413

[samanthaknopper-blog]

Salkantay Trek / Rainbow Mountain After Thoughts

I was going to make a video but basically since i have been back in Colombia i have been extremely tired and then i got the flu. I haven’t really had much of a voice for 3 days and it still isn’t great, and i often have coughing fits so i give up lol and will just go back to the old school typing way. 

So... Salkantay Trek to Machu Picchu 

1st.... It was the most difficult thing i have done ... ever. And yes for the people that know...I did walk the Camino de Santiago which took me around 3 weeks across ~500km. The Camino was hard and i was in pain every single day. Salkantay was a whole different game. The high altitude really effected my muscle stamina especially on the up hill stints. I was always at the back of the pack. 

* guess i should explain the pack i was in. There was 10 of us ( well level with the guide) 2 women from USA,  A couple form Denmark, a couple and another guy from The Netherlands, A woman from England, A guy from Australia and me and our Guide, Wayna. I was the 2nd oldest. Most of the were on the good side of 25 years old :/  

Ok back to it. 

So i was always at the back going up hill, especially, when it was on a super steep incline. The others just seemed to not slow down at all and not be effected by the lack of oxygen 4000+ meters above sea level. I would try to keep up with them but they just powered ahead. I would arrive 5 mins or more after them at stopping points dripping in sweat and they would be all laughing away eating snack looking like that were on a stroll in a park. Super helpful in the endless mental battle that is hiking. 

When we went down hill i was usually in the middle of the pack, i could descend faster then some. It became quite painful going down hill as it was pretty steep and my knees were taking a hammering. But i can push through pain ( thanks to the camino) doesn’t really stop me much. Also, the help of gravity pulling me down was awesome. On flat ground i was usually at the front, but i was having to really walk super fast. I didn’t really enjoy the group speed. They were trying to break some sort of time record for completing each day. Every day Wayna would give us an estimate of how long it usually takes groups to finish the section and they would be like we can do it in half. I definitely am a slow walker and prefer to plod along at my own pace then be forced to rush at a super fast pace. I could barely even enjoy the view of where we were as i was so worried about my feet placement (especially downhill) and i would have to risk stopping to look around and enjoy it or take a photo and then try to walk faster to make up for the lost time of stopping.  

I won’t go into the specific of the hike like for each day. The food was pretty good, and they fed us really well. I got alone well with pretty much everyone, but like didn’t really connect with anyone specifically. My shared a room every night with the chick from England and we chatted nicely at night, but it didn’t turn into some amazing connection through a hard experience, because i feel like she skipped up the mountain lol. I don’t generally think of myself as an unfit person, because generally my every day life is fairly active. However, my lifestyle in colombia is prettt sedentary. Just because I don’t have money to go places, i dont feel super safe just walking around the neighbourhood and my apartment is so small everything is with 10ms of my bed. On a good day i can maybe get 5000 steps if i purposely go out of my way to do more steps, but normal is around 2500 steps. Compare that to the, on average ,35,000 steps a day i was doing on the hike it was a big jump. That could be a major factor to while i was struggling a lot. I was exercising 30 mins 3-4 times a week to increase my heart fitness but obviously the step count matters more. I also think the basically lifestyle of the Danish and Dutch people gave them a huge advantage. They all rode their bikes to work everyday. Just the leg strength would have been extremely helpful. Advantage Europeans. 

Anyways, when We finished my knees were so done especially after the 2000+ steps to get up to machu picchu and then walk around the city. It was super impressive and i dont know how the heck they can build stuff like that back when there was no real machines helping. I would not want to lug rocks up there. 

There are 2 mountain options that you can climb to get like a more overall view of the city. One is a shorter, scarier walk that takes 45 mins and the other is like 2 hours up and 2 hours down. You have to pay extra.... but you have to pay like months in advance. No one mentioned that maybe you will be tired or have sore knees after the 5 day walk... and so most of us had purchased the extra ( including me) but not one of us did it. Everyones’ knees were done and couldn’t not mentally fathom walking up a mountain purely to get a better view of the ruins. Now,  that i think of it... i don’t know why i wanted to do that. it was only $USD 25 so not a huge loss to take. 

Most of us took the bus back down from the mountain as 1900 steps down didn’t sound nice. I totally fell asleep on the bus down ( it was only 20 mins) then we just hung around the town, Agua Calientes, until it was time to get our train back to (some place) and then we got a van to our hotels in Cusco. 

The train was an interesting 1.5 hours. There was some random dudes doing dances in crazy masks and then there was a fashion parade of clothes made from alpaca wool. I assume the fashion parade was so people could see the clothes and then buy them. 

When i got back to my hotel, i had a really long hot shower and then passed out. I had to check out of my hotel the next morning at 9am and then move to another hotel as that first one was with the package of my hike. I had a full days break and then i was going up Rainbow mountain. Was a bit of drama before that happened. I got to my new hotel at like 11am and they didn’t have my reservation. I had it printed out and they didn’t know what to do. PS these convos i had were all in spanish as they didn’t know spanish well. They seemed to have a paper system and me booking online didn’t seem to carry over. Luckily they had a room available, so i just took that. We then had to renegotiate the price as they thought the price i paid on the internet was to cheap and i was like well that was the point, it was a deal with my airline ticket. Anyways we made an agreement we were both happy with and i went into the room. I lay on the bed for a very long time not moving and then went to find food. Found a good vego restaurant and had a massive veggie burger and chips and orange juice. It filled me up for like 15 hours. I didn’t eat again until 6 am the next day when i was on my way up to Rainbow mountain. 

So, my hotel room was a bit of a boom. When traveling in a hiking pack you basically need to empty it to get access to everything. I was planning to washing some of my socks and stuff just because i could. I normally do it in the shower with me... but as i was saddened to find out... there wasn’t really hot water at the hotel. Which was some what disappointing as the temperature outside at night is -5 meaning the pipes are gonna be freezing making the normal water super freezing. There was some sort of electronic thing at the top of the shower head which i guess was like an electric heating contraption that was heat the water as it passes through. I felt like it was a bit unsafe have electricity flowing and having water pass through the gadget. It was on and was live. I found that out the hard way when i was fiddling with it drying to make it work when i got a little electric shock. To be totally honest... when i turned it off at the wall there was a difference in temperature from freezing to ... mildly freezing. I am use to cold showers here in colombia but this was a whole different level. I just quickly soaped up my body and rinsed of before i got frost bite and then layered up and got into my bed. I didn’t wash anything as i thought i would be to cold for anything to dry. 

So the next morning i wake up at 3am as my pick up time was between 3:30 - 4am to start the 2 hour drive to breakfast and then another hour drive to the start of the walk to the summit of rainbow mountain. So i go out of my room at 3:30am and walk to the road where they are gonna pick me up. I wait and wait... a few people are stumbling back from the clubs. It was super light in the street so it wasn’t really scary or anything. Heaps of people are out and about because a lot of hikes leave super early. One guy stumbled along on the other side of the street and was trying to open a door for maybe 15 mins and ended up napping against the wall. Was a bit entertaining to watch him. It got to 4am and i was like ok these people are late. I went back inside and started chatting to the lady and asked her if she could call and find out where they were. She called and they said 5 mins. Then she asked me if i was checking out and i’m like no i have one more day.. she says on the book there is someone checking into the room after a bit of back and fourth... we came to the conclusion that i had to get my stuff out as i only had it for one night. At that moment the guide rang the door bell for me to come out. I quickly rang back into the room and shoved all my stuff into my pack and then gave it to the lady who would hold on to it for me until i got back that afternoon. Then the whole 2 hours to breakfast i was thinking how the heck i am gonna get a hotel, and having not internet on my phone didn’t help. 

We got to breakfast, which was a weird soup thing with meat and then fruit. I just had a couple cups of hot tea as my throat was killing me and some bread with some sort of honey / caramel spread. We drove the next hour and arrived at start of the walk. It took us maybe an hour and a half to get to the summit and again i was struggling. We were only a group of 6 including the guide and it was a bit of a slower pace. But again i was struggling with the altitude. This time we went up to around 5200m and it is crazy how little energy your muscles have. It is really amazing how the mountain just naturally has different colours. When i got to the top i kinda of collapsed on the ground and just sat looking out on to the other snow capped mountains. A black dog came up to me and sat next to me and rested his head on my legs. It was a bit cute. Also was very warm. It was freezing up the top. Any natural water that would have been flowing had frozen along the path. It was also super windy so that made it super icy cold. We stayed up the top probably for almost an hour, just looking around and then taking photos. We walked back down and then started the drive back to the restaurant where we would have lunch . Along the way kids would run along into the street and up to the car. The guide would give out extra snacks ( oreos and fruit) that we hadn’t eaten. The kids were super excited. Its crazy the small little kids that just run around free in the paddocks of the mountains, no parents in sight. The helicopter parents would be having a freak out. 

Lunch was fairly basic again i ended up just having rice and some water. I slept most of the 2 hours back to Cusco. There was no head rest so it was a slumped head bench backwards over the back of the chair, my neck was sore for a few days after. 

When i got back to Cusco i headed to Starbucks and bought a drink and then got the wifi and searched around for a hotel in the same street for a reasonable price but one that would guarantee me scolding hot water and a heater in my room. As it was my last chance for a hot shower for the next 3 months i wanted it to be definite. I found one for like $70 bucks in the same street and checked in. Again i had to come to an agreement with the reception as they thought the website quoted to cheap, these internet sites need to be better at giving discounts that the hotels will actual honor. I moved my stuff in after i checked in and then had an extremely long shower, hot water is so amazing and really makes washing your hair a pleasure instead of a mental challenge. I went back to the same vego restaurant and then snuggled into bed ready to leave the next day. 

The hotel had the added bonus of a free buffet breakfast. I checked out at 9am and then grazed in the buffet until it finished at 9:30am. I then sat in the sun at the main plaza and there was a big parade for some reason. Went to starbucks again and had my last chocolate frappe for 3 months even though my sore throat was not advising it. Headed back to the hotel and picked up my bags then waited for my transport to the airport. 

Overall the trip was a good experience. Definitely not relaxing or like super fun. But it gave me some amazing chances to see nature at it bets. I would not advise doing the salkantay trek for older people as a lot of people were struggling with altitude and had to take horses ( which cost more money). You can just catch a train or bus to Machu Picchu if you want to see it. Which does seem more logical but the experience you get in the mountains is pretty amazing. 

I have 1 more week free and then i start the 2 week teacher prep before the students start at school. I am hoping my cold is gone within the next few days, i have been eating a lot of raw garlic which helps but my diet is not the best so the process is pretty slow. I’ll upload some pics on here of the mountains. 

[i-write-about-anything]

Little Beta(s) Chapter 34

Prompt: Liam get’s turned at an early age and he looks at you as his guardian/parent. Plus you’re dating Scott who’s always trying to look after him. (10 year gap between Liam and reader)

Pairing: Liam Dunbar x Reader (platonic) Scott McCall x Reader, Derek Hale (younger and platonic) x Reader

Chapters:

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20- 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 -25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33

Reader’s POV

Standing in the driveway of our soon to be old home was emotional. This was where we raised Liam, where we created ourselves a home, where we invested all out lives too and just to be ran off as if we were a pack of rabid animals. I couldn’t help but to think about the first time we brought Liam here, how excited he was to have his own room in our home. I walked in one last time, everything was gone now, the couches were out, our photos were gone, the only thing inside were a couple of papers on the floor. As I walked through the house one more time I couldn’t help but notice the kitchen doorway where we had measured Liam’s growth, he had grown tremendously in the past years and it’s stuff like this that I would miss. Walking into Liam’s room was even harder as flashbacks of his first arrival flooded into my mind.

_____

Flashback:

“This will be your room.” I looked down at the small boy who hadn’t stopped crying since his bitch of a mother dropped him off. 

“I get my own room?” He looked up at me with his bright blue eyes. 

“Of course you do honey.” He smiled at me before hugging me tight and running to the bed in the room. It saddened me to know that he hadn’t had his own room but I was happy to see the smile on his face when he climbed up his new bed. Scott wrapped his arms around me as we looked at the small boy jumping on his new bed. 

“Be careful.” Scott spoke and Liam stopped to look at Scott. He immediately got off his bed and ran to Scott hugging him tightly. 

“Thank you.” I smiled at Scott who’s eyes moved from Liam to me. 

“Hey, don’t cry.” Scott’s arms unraveled from my waist as he squatted down to Liam’s level. “Why are you crying?” Scott’s thumb wiped Liam’s tears and I couldn't help the smile on my face. 

“I’m just really happy to here with you guys.” Liam sniffed as his arms wrapped around Scott’s neck. Scott looked up to me and smiled, no doubt in my mind this was going to be one of the best decisions of our lived.

End of flashback.

_____________

I wiped a small tear noticing how emotional I was getting over something so small. I walked through my own room where I had my ups and downs with Scott. Noticing the small claw marks on the wall. I remembered that night as if it was yesterday, we had gotten into a stupid argument about Liam not being able to control his shift and how he had scratched me with his claws. I hadn’t noticed until we were in our room and Scott was threatening to kick Liam out. Sure he was heated and he didn’t want to see me hurt but I hadn't even realized the small scratch marks on my arm until Scott’s hand brushed over it. He had yelled at me I wasn’t going to lie, it scared the shit out of me. He stormed out the room leaving the claw marks on the wall and he didn’t return till the day after. Liam had ran into my room crying and apologizing but I quickly calmed him down. “Are you ready?” Scott spoke from the doorway breaking me from my memories. I looked over at Scott as my fingers ran through the claw marks and I sighed. “That wasn’t my best night.” He gave me a weak smile as he walked over to me and I couldn’t stop the tears that rushed out when he hugged me. 

“This is what made us, all of the ups, all of the downs, they’re all being ripped away.” I sobbed out and Scott’s hand rubbed against my back. 

“I know baby, I know. But we’ll make new memories, we have two boys now, we’re better off out of beacon hills.” I sighed and wiped my tears when I pulled away. “Let’s get going, yeah?” I sighed and nodded as he took my hand. As we walked out of the house I couldn’t help but look around one last time. I stopped at the front door looking at it once more seeing Scott chasing Liam all around the living room, seeing Derek and Liam push each other away from the remote. Every memory I had of this place rushed into my mind and I let our a few tears before closing the door for the last time. 

“Are you okay mom?” Liam’s voice turned me around and I quickly wrapped my arms around him. 

“How are you holding up?” He sighed and wrapped his arms around me putting his head on my shoulder. 

“I think this is what’s best for us, what’s beacon hills ever done for us?” He pulled out of the hug to give me a smile and that’s when I realized I was the one that was going to miss this place more than anyone. 

“Come on, we have a long drive.” Derek groaned from the car and I wiped my tears. 

“Geesh someone’s eager to get out of here.” I smiled at him as I walked towards the car and so did Liam. I got in and looked at Scott when he gave my hand a tight squeeze. We drove away from the house that was never going to be ours again and I let out a final tear. 

_____________

It had been eight hours. Eight hours of Liam and Derek bickering about the headphones. Scott had switched me spots and now I was driving. “Mom, please tell Derek to give me the headphones.” Liam growled looking at Derek and I rolled my eyes. 

“Will you guys just calm down, take a nap or something.” I spoke looking over at Scott who had been sleeping for the past hour. 

“I can’t sleep.” Liam spoke and I groaned. 

“Derek, please.” Derek sighed and Liam smiled as he took the headphones in his hand.

“I’m just gonna take a nap.” Derek smiled at me and I smiled back. I focused my eyes on the dark road thinking about our new home. Would the boys like it? How would Liam like the school here? Would anyone know they’re werewolves? Mt mind flooded with questions that I couldn’t answer and I didn’t like it. Derek’s small snored were the only thing I could hear and I didn’t know why the hell I didn’t have the radio on. Derek had fallen to his side and Liam groaned when his head landed on his lap, I couldn’t help but giggle as he gave me a glare. After another three hours of driving both Scott and Derek had woken up and the bickering had started once again. “Come on you had them for three hours, it’s my turn.” Derek tugged at the headphones. 

“They’re mine, if I don’t want to share, I don’t have to.” Liam spoke and Scott looked at me before rubbing his eyes, this ride was going to be longer than I expected. 

___________

Liam’s POV

After what seemed days we finally arrived to our new house. It wasn’t as nice as the one we had but it was better than not having a home at all. Mom and dad had yelled at me and Derek after we almost ripped each other’s throats out for the stupid headphones, we ended up ripping the headphones and sitting in silent as mom hissed at us if we made any kind of noise. Being trapped in a car for hours wasn’t something I was good with which is why I was happy to be at our final destination. I noticed mom wiping the tears out of her eyes as dad took her into her arms. She hated that we had to leave everything and come here where we knew no one, I hated leaving my only friend but I know this was best for us, all of us. “Okay we’ll get the rest of the stuff out of the car tomorrow, I had all our beds installed already, let’s get some rest, shall we?” Dad spoke as he patted both mine and Derek’s back. We started to walk into the house and almost immediately I could smell the fresh smell of cherries. 

“Where’s my room?” I asked dad as he closed the front door and locking it behind him. 

“About that.” He sighed and walked towards one of the three doors in the house. Once he opened it I noticed two beds, one of them being mine. 

“We have to share a room?” Derek spoke. 

“Please, save the arguing for tomorrow, I'm tired and I just want to go to bed.” Mom rubbed her forehead and I looked at Derek who smiled at me. 

“I call the bed by the window.” He ran into the room and I followed close behind. 

“Take it, I like this one better.” I stuck my tongue out at him and he threw a pillow at me and I laughed. 

“Are you guys okay with this?” Mom spoke lightly from the doorway and I smiled at her. 

“I don’t mind.” I gave her my best smile and it was the truth, I didn’t mind, sure I wasn’t going to have my own space but maybe this is what me and Derek need to get along with each other. 

“Neither do I, plus we don’t have to argue about which room the xbox goes in.” Derek chuckled and I threw a pillow at his face as I chuckled. 

“Alright.” Mom smiled before coming over to kiss my forehead and doing the same to Derek. “Get some sleep, we have a lot of unpacking to do.” She left the room and I sighed laying down. 

“It’s going to be okay, we’re going to fit in.” Derek spoke and I looked at him. 

“It’s not us we’re worried about.” I spoke and he nodded as his back hit his own mattress. This was either going to be the best decision we had or the worst, only time could tell. 

______________

tags; @leslieandjensen @hirafth @neptuneluek @lydiasbxtch @adellyhatter-blog @nxthing-lasts-fxrever@letmebecomeataboo @cloudchaserr @nerdyowlbookfreak @xcastawayherosx @k-baileyy@scotttstilinskii @therealmrshale @thesuperkpopfan @queen–glitch @my-body-is-not-a-temple@mutifandomgirl @moo0803 @hautedbybieber

[kerishaharris]

Going, going, (not quite but almost) gone: the sad state of local newspapers

True story: As a young, would-be journalist, I applied at the behest of my high school journalism teacher to the Hugh N. Boyd Minorities in Journalism Workshop. The program was a two-week intensive workshop open to high school students across New Jersey with an interest in journalism. It promised to provide the 15 or so selected participants with real-world experience in the field absolutely free of charge, as local newspapers across the state sponsored the event, covering all expenses for selected students. Having always been rather introverted and somewhat shy, I didn’t think my writing was good enough to make the cut. But to my surprise, I ended up being selected and was sponsored by my hometown newspaper, The Record of Bergen County, aka The Record (or, so it was called at the time). The experience was transformative for me, and gave me my first insight into life as a journalist. I’d go on to study journalism as an undergraduate student at the University of Florida, starting off in print but switching to broadcast, and working professionally in the field for more than a decade for CNN, NBC, ABC, Univision, and more. And for a time, I briefly took a job as the lead social media editor for none other than the local newspaper that helped give me my start in the business: The Record of Bergen County.

(fun fact: The Record broke the 2013 George Washington Bridge lane closure scandal which made national and global headlines) This week, I chose to take a closer look at local newspapers, and in doing so, briefly examine why they’ve struggled to remain relevant in a changing industry (I’ll only scratch the surface, because I could probably write an entire dissertation on this topic). It’s actually quite sad, as I firmly believe that local newspapers and beat reporters are critical to freedom of the press and unbiased, balanced, and fair reporting. Sadly, the digital age has done irrevocable damage to this industry. And I hate to say it, but digital and social media are almost solely responsible for the demise of newspapers, and sadly, I’m a part of that problem too. As a tail-end millennial who came of age with the internet, if the news isn’t on my smartphone or easily accessible via an app or a free website, I quickly lose interest and seek my information elsewhere. I can’t remember the last time I had a newspaper subscription, or even purchased a newspaper. I recognize how important they are, I just have so many other options for news consumption now that I just don’t turn to newspapers anymore. Freedom of the press

Local newspapers have been part of the fabric of this country since as early as the 1600’s. Every journalism student remembers studying the great circulation wars of the 1800’s between Joseph Pulitzer and William Randolph Hearst. If not, everybody remembers how fun it was when instead of class, our teachers took a day off from teaching and instead showed “Newsies” on VHS in history class. It never gets old. 

(truer words have never been said, Jack Kelly) But the rise of television news, and eventually digital and social media, pushed local newspapers aside, as audiences had a quicker, easier way to access news on-demand instead of waiting for the morning paper. According to a recent report by researchers at the Hussman School of Journalism and Media at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, 300 more newspapers failed since the fall of 2018 bringing the death toll to 2,100. That’s 25 percent of the 9,000 newspapers that were being published just 15 years ago. It also noted that there are about 200 “news deserts,” or communities without any local newspapers. Most of those news deserts are in economically challenged rural areas, but more and more, even the economically advantaged suburbs are feeling the pinch too. 

(via UNC Hussman School of Journalism and Media) The danger here? Local papers highlight and elevate local stories we might not otherwise know about, but we absolutely need to care about. What’s going on in our schools, with our local elected officials, within our communities, local zoning and budget decisions that impact our daily lives. They provide a micro-level guide to the things that impact us every single day. So if nearly all of your news is coming from social and digital media and their sometimes questionable algorithms, or television news that’s almost undoubtedly biased (at least in the U.S.), you really have to question whether you’re receiving fair, unbiased coverage. Dying, but not (quite) dead It was encouraging to see that while the industry is undoubtedly suffering, there are still some people who often consume their news via local newspapers. According to the Pew Research Center, people aged 65 and older account for most of the existing newspaper audience, roughly four in 10 of whom say they still often get their information from newspapers. This is about what I would expect from the older generation, but this sadly doesn’t say much for younger generations and their newspaper consumption. Only 18 percent of people age 50-64, 8 percent of people age 30 to 49, and a mere 2 percent of people age 18-29 say that they often get their news from newspapers. 

And even among those 65 and older, newspapers are a pretty distant second in terms of the source they visit most often for news, as 81 percent of people in this age group cite television as the source they often use for news.

If you can’t beat them, join them In my brief time as social media editor for The Record, it was obvious to me that the paper was trying hard to adapt to a changing world, opening themselves up to methods they’d never had to use before. The same was true of most newspapers, even national newspapers like the Los Angeles Times and the New York Times. It has been interesting to see the ways in which these newspapers have branched out into new forms of media to adapt to the way people consume news today. I highlighted this in a previous post, but I’ve been impressed by the NYT’s foray into LinkedIn Live, creating immersive, engaging conversations on key stories, and giving the audience the chance to actively participate with the media. At its core, I’ve always said that the best thing about social/digital media was that it took what were always one-way conversations, and made them into two-way experiences for the audience and the content creator. And speaking of the Times, their efforts on Instagram are among my favorite. Beautiful portraits that would once only live on paper are now shared in a beautifully curated feed that is always so pleasing to the eye. Often, these are stories that wouldn’t typically make the front page of the paper, but the visuals are so stunning that they tell a story in and of themselves.

(via the New York Times on Instagram) Using local newspapers as a communications professional

Part of my renewed interest in newspapers came about when I was a communications manager for a small nonprofit organization. Our primary goal was to engage in state level advocacy on behalf of the state’s charter schools. Effectively that means, catch the eyes and ears of lawmakers and state your case so that when budget time comes around, they’ll make sure to enact a budget that ensures the survival of these schools. I learned that these lawmakers and influencers pay close attention to newspapers, perhaps even more than other forms of media, and so getting our agenda into the local newspaper was a large part of the work that I did. I would write (well, ghostwrite) opinion pieces for senior leadership, students and parents, and pitch them for placements in the local papers in the districts of the lawmakers we needed to reach, I would develop relationships with local education reporters, invite them to press events, give them quotes for their stories, organize editorial board meetings and more. Newspapers became a critical part of the work that I did, as were the relationships I built with members of the newspaper industry, and I’d imagine the same is true for other communications professionals. Much to my (pleasant) surprise, there are still some brands doing important work with traditional print newspapers. According to FORBES, “MasterCard placed a two-page spread in The New York Times, almost unheard of these days, to articulate its support for the LGBTQIA+ community and MasterCard’s support for GLAAD’s NEON Legacy Series, a photo and video collection produced by Black LGBTQIA+ creators. The ad states MasterCard’s commitment to equal treatment, equal opportunity and equal rights. The ad features both the MasterCard logo and the GLAAD logo.” I can’t find a photo of the ad anywhere, but I’m sure it was great! Of course, this is very different from the way the general public engages with newspapers, as they’re looking for unbiased updates on what’s going on in their communities. But it’s still nice to know there are still some communicators out here tapping into the power of local newspapers to promote their brands, and I was one of them.

(sigh. a beautiful sight)

A sad future for local newspapers Sadly, none of the statistics point to a revival of newspapers anytime soon, although I’m holding out hope. With fewer local papers, and increased reliance on (often biased) television and (often wrong) social media for news, I worry that this is just one of the unfortunate ills of the digital age we’re living in. Sadly, many local papers are unable to stay afloat despite employing every possible adaptation in the book, often succumbing to major buyouts by huge conglomerates, resulting in newspapers that are controlled by corporate interests and offer no true local, unbiased reporting. 

And as for The Record? It suffered a similar fate in 2016 after it was ultimately bought out by Gannett, the nation’s largest newspaper chain. For folks like me from northern New Jersey, it was the end of an era. I still remember being saddened when I learned the news, even feeling a tad guilty that I didn’t stick around long enough to perhaps contribute to a more favorable outcome. While my time there was brief, I worked alongside some of the smartest, most passionate and hard-working people I’d ever met. They lived and breathed northern New Jersey, and they put their heart and soul into every letter of every story that went to print. But what happened with The Record has sadly happened to so many local newspapers with no signs of slowing down. As communications and marketing professionals, we certainly can play a role in trying to help revive the industry, but my fear is that any efforts we make would be too little too late.

[unkindnessofone]

Primal PT 2

Part One is here. It’s always nice to hear what you all think. Please enjoy.

They were both sweaty messes. Despite going to yoga since her Mommy/Daddy and Me classes when she was three, Molly still hadn’t discovered the secret to leaving the studio with a healthy glow on her face instead of a waterfall. As Ashton and Molly made themselves comfortable at their small wooden table in one of their favorite local spots, Ashton adjusted a grey blue beanie over his head. It was all he could do to hide his now greasy, but very zen locks. 

“She was tough.” Ashton noted, pushing the menu away to the side of the table. It had been a while since he was able to join his daughter at a yoga class, but whenever he did, they would go to a nearby Vietnamese place and order Mushroom Pho. It was a routine he rather enjoyed especially since it made the fifteen year old so happy and he didn’t know how much longer he would have that power. Ashton was always waiting for Molly to wave him off in favor for literally anything else.

“You just got to fly in on Sundays so we can go more often.” Molly joked lightly while tightly tying her own wet locks on top of her head in a frizzy bun. It would have to do. She ordered them both their meals and two teas. Lemon, for Dad, and jasmine for herself. While she answered the server’s questions about how she was doing in school, Ashton took a moment to check if he had missed any messages or calls while he had been tied up in different positions. It turned out his wife had desperately trying to get a hold of him. Instantly, he worried. It didn’t matter how often they were apart. Ashton would always worry when she was gone for work without him. It wasn’t as if he could get to New York, where she was, quickly. 

“Everything okay?” Molly checked in as soon as their sever left. She could read her dad’s face like it was a Babysitter’s Club novel. 

“Actually, yeah.” He rolled his head over one shoulder and handed his phone, screen up, to Molly. “Your mom wants you to pick a dress for a winter formal at your school…” It was the first he had heard about it. Simone had went about six pictures for their daughter to choose from. 

Losing an inch, Molly slouched in her chair at the first sight of the first dress, a pretty silk number with long sleeves. She knew with a mom as connected as hers that she was kind of a waste as a daughter. She had no desire for anything brand name or fancy. Molly could tell the dress was beautiful, but it made her uncomfortable just to look at it. 

“I don’t know why she sent those.” Molly handed her Dad his phone back and shook her head to politely decline through him. “I already told her I wasn’t going to go." 

"Why not?” Ashton inquired before tapping out a response to his wife, trying to gently say no to all the pictures. 

Molly shrugged a simple “no” that she wasn’t terribly interested in, “I just have no interest in going.” She never really was one for dancing. She was always the one standing still at her dad and uncle’s shows while everyone else was flailing around. 

“Are your friends going?” He didn’t know why he asked. He trusted Molly in her decision making.  She always had a strong head above her freckled shoulders. 

“Probably. I’m not sure.” She had very few people in her life that she considered friends. It wasn’t as if she had been labeled an outcast or social pariah, but Molly had always found relating to others to be a challenge. It wasn’t natural for her to confide in others or want to share experiences. She never did anything because someone else or everyone else was. Some might consider it a problem, but Molly didn’t seek comfort in other people. “It really doesn’t interest me." 

"I get that. I wasn’t the dance type.” Ashton admitted even though it didn’t surprise Molly very much. She knew he still went. “Just don’t want you to have any regrets, you know?" 

"If I graduate high school and wish I had gone to dances, I’ll just become a bar star in my twenties. How about that?” Smiling to herself, Molly horrified her father with her a joke of a compromise.

“I would just come with you and embarrass you.” Ashton teased back, jokingly reaching out his arms and pretending to do the sprinkler dance move right at the noise. 

Instantly, Molly burst out laughing as their tea arrived piping hot to the table, “You don’t embarrass me, Dad.” Molly admitted through her grin while wrapping both her hands around the warm ceramic cup. “I like hanging out with you." 

Ashton already knew that, but he still felt lucky that his teenage daughter didn’t insist on walking a mile ahead of him or roll her eyes in annoyance at everything he did. Ashton had to admit, even if it was just to himself, he truly won the lottery with his kids. 

"One sec, honey, I’m just letting your brother know you didn’t murder a dolphin.” Without looking up from her laptop set up on the hotel bed, Simone told her newly released daughter. She heard the room door open and close, signalling Molly’s return from the hallway where she had tried to call a friend she had been arrested with.

“Where’s Dad?” Sitting down at the bed’s edge, Molly asked, looking over her shoulder. She was still in the clothes they had picked her up in and still hadn’t washed the stench of being tied to a tree off her body. 

“Balcony.” Still concentrating on the screen in front of her, Simone merely pointed to the large windows and their open curtains, framing a tired Ashton with his arms over the rail. More and more, he regretted giving up smoking. “He is taking cleansing breaths.” Grinning to soften the tension that hadn’t left the air since the station, Simone looked up from the screen and informed her animal lover. 

“I’ve never seen him like that.” She began to take her braided hair out, sounding saddened by the situation. She didn’t really care about being arrested, but she did hate how disappointed her father was in her.

“I have.” Simone mused as she typed at light speed on her laptop, shooting off a quick email. “When we first started dating, he almost ripped a guy’s head from his neck for spilling a drink on me.” She raised her eyebrows while recalling the memory from many, many years ago. While she remembered being embarrassed by his reaction at the time, Simone also recalled having feverish sex with him that same night that was still in their Top 25 times. For Molly’s sake, she left that part out. “It’s rare, but your dad can get enraged.” Simone noticed nothing she was saying was changing the frown on her daughter’s dirty face. “Molly,  it will be fine.” She closed her laptop and slid down closer to her on the bed, instantly running her fingers through her hair - or trying to. “He will move on from this. This was just…it wasn’t expected." 

"The arrest or Flynn?” In her defense, she hadn’t asked for them to come down to Canberra to bail her out. If it had been up to Molly, it wouldn’t have made national news. 

“Both.” Simone wiggled her fingers out from the blond tangles and pat her knee. “He’s never had to share you before. He’s used to being the hero.” Looking off at the window, watching Ashton itch with irritation at his chin, Simone tried to help Molly understand.

“Connor has had about nine girlfriends since middle school. It’s never been an issue.” She argued.

“It’s not a sexist thing, Molly. He had no idea you were dating anyone. I’ve never told him about that other guy. Which, by the way, what happened to that guy?" 

"It just never amounted to much.” Molly shrugged. She wished she hadn’t mentioned anything, but she couldn’t go back in time now. "This whole day has been one surprise after the other. Why don’t you have a shower? That always makes a person feel better.” Simone suggested just as she had been doing to her kids since they were about nine. According to their very stylish mother, there was nothing a hot shower couldn’t improve. 

Behind the two Irwin women, Simone’s phone became to ring. It almost sounded urgent in its very generic ring. She leaned in order to reach it and, with a single glance of the screen, she stood up. 

“I really need to take this.” She explained a second before answering, wandering over to the door to do so. 

Molly stared at her Dad, sighing internally as she tried to read his face with his back to her. She remembered that he was still the guy who had been there for her whole life no matter how many miles were  between them. Surely, he was not going to be cross with her forever. Molly tied her hair back in a very messy bun and moved from the bed to window. She didn’t want to let any more time go by. She inhaled in preparation and slid the balcony open just a smidgen. 

“Is there room for me out here?” She checked. Maybe, he just wanted to be alone. She watched him barely look at her before nodding her closer with the end of his chin and without a word. “Hi Dad.” Breathy like the wind above them, Molly spoke softly. She leaned her side into the cold rail, studying his mood from his profile.  “I feel horrible that I’ve disappointed you - “She started, releasing her breath that almost choked her on the way out. Molly felt her ribs tighten as she tried to speak again. These were words she never imagined having to say at all especially not to her Dad. Thankfully, he cut her off.

“Molly, I’m not disappointed in you.” Sighing into himself, he admitted and turned to finally face her, his elbow resting steady on the balcony rail. “When we were waiting at the police station, I just wanted to see you and give you a hug, alright? I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I know you have a passion that you’re going to do great things with.” Ashton had always been confident about that. “I know people aren’t always going to get it. I just lost my cool because…” Now it was his turn to struggle with getting words out. Ashton hated admitting that he could be petty. He hated being wrong. It was childish, but it was a trait that he never quite outgrew. “For a second, I didn’t know you best. There was someone else that you called, that you wanted there. That’s hard for me, kid.” She may have been an adult, but she would always be his little Molly reading National Geographic instead of picture books. She would always be the little person who hated when someone blew raspberries on her tummy, but loved to be tickled under her knees. There was a distance growing between them now that she lived out in Gold Coast and all he was left with was memories of someone she wasn’t anymore.

“I just have my own life now.” She reasoned, both her palms open and facing him as if they could help both of them understand. “I thought you would want that. I don’t live under your roof anymore.”

“I know, but I miss - “ Ashton started.

“If you got arrested, you would call mom, not grandma.” Molly argued even though he wasn’t fighting back. He was too tired to put up a fight. All Ashton wanted was to spend time with his daughter after being terrified  for hours she was in serious trouble.

“Molly, I know you don’t get it,” It was a strange thing to say to someone who was always the smartest person in the room. “but I’m your Dad. I’m your warrior, I’m your keeper. You might not need me in that role anyway, but I can’t just hang up that uniform. I don’t care that you’ve got some big burly dude,” He grimaced as he described Flynn O'Malley. “in your corner. I’m going to be your guardian for all of my life.”

She melted. Molly couldn’t try to make him understand anymore when he was being so forthcoming with her. She took down her hair and knocked her head to the side, letting it all rest on her shoulder as she breathed in the fresh air. Like a tub of butter out from the fridge, she softened before him and moved forward to wrap her arms around his neck, breathing him in as she squeezed tighter and tighter.

“I’m sorry, Dad.” In his ear, she whispered before loosening up as he hugged her back. She felt one of his strong hands grab her dirty hair and hold her head tightly as he kissed her cheek.

“Don’t keep things from me, Molly. I want to know you. You’re so important to me.” Firmly, he instructed as they pulled away from one another naturally.

Molly turned to stare down at the slow moving traffic below them, her father’s arm hanging around her shoulder while his fingers crunched at her frizzy split ends.

“We’ve never had a hard time talking to each other. Let’s not start.” Ashton continued.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you about Flynn.” Molly murmured begrudgingly. She was not enjoying having to apologize this much. It wasn’t common for her. “We’ve only been together for six months.”

“Only six months?” His face wrinkled as he looked at Molly like she was spewing nonsense at him.

“Look, Dad,” Molly threw her hands in front of herself and inhaled sharply before speaking. “I’m not as fun as other girls. I don’t like going out, I’ve never been good at small talk, I don’t even get a lot of what seems to be universally funny, but Flynn likes me anyway. No,” Shaking her head at herself as Ashton listened to her, completely captivated. “He doesn’t like me.” Molly corrected herself. He literally believes the worst parts of me are better than the best parts of everyone else. He looks at me like you look at Mom when she enters a room. I’m protective of that.”

“Even from your Dad?” As if he was saying ‘Come on’, he lifted his brows and challenged her.

“From everyone.” She had become more secretive since going away to University, holding everything and everyone she loved close to her chest. “There was probably a time when Uncle Mike and Aunt Grace felt the way I do right now and, somewhere along the way, they lost that. I don’t want to lose this.”

Ashton had never heard her this way over someone. Molly only talked about the ocean and it’s animals this way. He was sold that this guy had to be okay if his very intelligent daughter accepted him and cared this deeply. Everything with Molly was always scientific. Everything had an algorithm. Letting go of some of his frustrations from the day with a long exhale, Ashton decided to trust her just like he always had before.

“Let me back in, okay? I’m always on your side.” He cupped both of her shoulders and gave her a playful shake. “I will apologize to your…your friend…” He started only to be stopped by narrow growling eyes from Molly. “Boyfriend?” Reluctantly, he tried to give i

“Partner.”

“Partner.” Ashton could live with that. “I’ll be nice,  but if he tells me his mom was a big fan of Five Seconds of Summer, I will throw my beer in his face.”

“That’s fine. I’ll warn him.” Molly laughed while reaching out to shake her Dad’s hand. She already knew Flynn’s mom was even if she hadn’t met his parents yet.

“Molly!” Interrupting their mutual forgiveness, Simone’s sharp English accent cut between them. They were too focused on one another that they didn’t even hear the sliding door open again. Both Ashton and Molly turned to look at her as she just dragged her eyes up and down Molly. “I told you to shower. I’m getting very hungry and I will go alone to dinner with a rugby player, don’t think I won’t.” She teased in her most serious manner. “Also, I packed you a change of clothes. They’re on the bed.”

“I’ll be fast.” Smiling at her Dad, thrilled they were okay, Molly promised as she snuck by her mom. She tapped her head on the way in, always finding it amusing that she had grown so much taller than her.

“You two seem better.” Simone observed, stepping out onto the balcony and crossing her arms over her chest. She still had her cell phone clutched in one hand, letting it hang by her side.

“We’ll be fine.” Ashton confirmed. He couldn’t have been more grateful for that.

“We’re going to meet her boyfriend for dinner.” Letting her eyes grow, Simone mused.

“He seemed like a good guy. She really cares about him.” Ashton told himself more than he did his wife.

“Molly O'Malley. It’s very cute.” Shimming her shoulders, Simone sang out to him. She couldn’t resist ribbing Ashton even after all the years.

“Stop. That’s not funny. I’m not that cool with it.” Ashton warned causing her to erupt in her usual laughter that reminded him of the kind of music a person enters a circus to. It was the joyful song that sang him to sleep in all of his happiest memories. He pulled his wife in by the side and kissed the top of her head, shaking his head at her as he did. The day had gone from Hell to happy even if it took a few loop-de-loops along the way.

[afictionalattraction-blog]

Harry Hart x Reader

Contains some swearing - but they're quotes from the film. Also Tumblr deserves more than just a link so here’s its own copy as well.

Eggsy, Merlin and I were the only remaining members of Kingsman. If I'd been at my house at the time the missiles struck Kingsman property I'd have been dead. Thankfully, Merlin had invited me over for dinner to discuss gifts for Eggsy. His first year of being at Kingsman was about to come to a close and I had figured that, because he'd been fairly close with my husband Harry and also happened to be a friend of mine, a gift might be nice. If he hadn't have done that I'd have probably been dead.

"Eggsy... darling there is only one thing we can do."

"What is it?"

"We go shopping." Merlin finished for me. I gave him a small smile before I take both Eggsy and Merlin by the hand. Both men with a look of confusion on their faces. I know that I should be upset also, but I had to be strong for the both of them. I hate to even think about it, but if Eggsy and Tilde had waited another night to have dinner with the family, and Eggsy hadn't moved out, he would've lost everything... Everything like I had. Harry was my everything.

I was overseas working off the grid trying to get information about a biochemist designing a new bioweapon to use against the world. Wiping out billions of people in order to 'save the world', it reminded me of Harry. It was his last mission, and quite frankly I couldn't bear to think about it. I'd spent countless hours of trecking through the wild, manoeuvering my way around countless security cameras and wildlife; only to hear my husband's soothing voice be interrupted by the all-to-familiar crack of a gunshot. All of the other Kingsman agents had taken his death well but I hadn't. I'd spent practically my entire life with him, and to lose him all too soon killed me. I knew that if I was in his shoes, he'd never be able to live with himself; and neither can I. To my surprise, I've never seen my suit practically change colour like it had that night... I just hoped it could be washed and look like new or else Merlin and Carter would kill me.

"Y/N?" I turned around and looked at Eggsy. "Look I know that look, you've got to stop thinking about that day. Don't try to deny it either Y/N. Look, I just wanted to say that we're here for you... and we've also arrived at our destination. Merlin just wanted to make sure you were with us before we went inside." I gave the two a nod before walking through the door Merlin held open.

After about three hours of drinking away our problems, Eggsy notices our logo inside the bottle of Statesman Whiskey. I down my glass while Merlin mentions something about chicken. I let out a giggle before I start feeling sad again. Oh, how I wish to drink one more drink with my loving husband Harry. Eggsy and Merlin look over across the table at me again with saddening eyes. They know that when I get drunk enough, I lower my guard and those bittersweet memories would resurface.

H

Never in all my life did I ever think that I would see him again. The love of my life. My ties had already been cut and I sat there; on the plastic chair watching my husband through blurry vision, throw himself off of Eggsy. It was only at that moment that I realised it was real. That this wasn't a dream. I raced into the room he was in and slowly made my way towards him. He looked at me and smiled, embracing me in a hug. When I'd been told that he may not remember anything, I was shocked that he'd remember me... but how much of me he remembered was a question I dreaded asking.

"Harry..."

"Y/N! I thought you were going to Scottland to see your grandparents. Why are you here?" My heart shattered again into the tiniest of pieces when I heard this. He didn't remember... He'd forgotten everything that's happened over the past 25 years of being together. Harry then looked down at my hand and saw the gold band that decorated my ring finger. "Why didn't you tell me you'd gotten married?" Eggsy and Merlin exchanged a look before Merlin said something about needing to have a private word with Eggsy. I sat down on Harry's bed and motioned for him to join me.

"Harry... how much do you remember?" I couldn't bear to look at him right now. Believe me, I love Harry, but I can't see the shell of the man I've spent the past 25 years with knowing he can't remember any of it. "I know you're trying, but I refuse to force you to remember anything if you can't." I see him look down at his feet and I can't help but feel like it was all my fault. I take Harry's torso and bring him towards me and plant a kiss on his head. "Hey Harry, can you tell me about some of your most favourite butterflies?" I ask with a smile.

H

I'd spent the past few days with Harry, keeping him company like a loving spouse should. Obviously, I couldn't publically show more affection towards him; other than that of a friend. That was all he sees me as. A friend. Nothing more, nothing less. He has the mindset of someone who's in their early twenties. A year or two down the track he joins the army, then Kingsman and it was on his two year anniversary of being Galahad that he proposed to me. It seems like a lifetime ago now that I think back to it. I couldn't watch when Merlin and Ginger put him through one of Kingsman's most iconic tests. Filling his room to the very top with water in hopes that his instincts would kick in. Sadly, they hadn't succeeded.

"I've got something that I'd like to try... but you're not going to like it."

"What is it Eggsy?" The second I said those words I regretted them. In his hands was a Cairn Terrier puppy. I knew what he was going to do and looked over at Harry. He was peacefully sleeping, his chest rising and falling in a rhythmic fashion. I nod my head and turn away from his resting figure, not wanting to see Harry go through losing his beloved Mr Pickle again. I stood there, listening to the yelling come out of that room, fighting back tears and I silently prayed for the return of Harry. My Harry. Then everything stopped. At first, I thought I'd zoned out, but then realised I hadn't when I saw a certain pair of arms enclosed in a grey sweater and the soft hum of our wedding song float into my ears. I turned around and cried into his chest. I knew then that I had my husband back.

I pulled my head out of his chest and kissed his lips for the first time in over a year. Longing for him, I couldn't care less if the entire world was watching. All that mattered to me in that moment was that I had my Harry back. No words could explain how happy I was. None at all. We stopped for a moment and just cherished the feeling of being together again. Pulling my forehead from his, I looked over towards Eggsy who held the puppy in his hands, smiling at the two of us; silently fighting back tears.

"Thank you Eggsy, for keeping me company the past year... and for bringing him back to us." I smiled as his smile grew even more. "Thank you as well, Ginger, for looking after him over the year." She gave a small smile and nodded her head. "And Merlin, thank you for trying... but most importantly, for keeping me sane."

"Not a problem Y/N, besides you'd lost more than we all did combined." Eggsy nodded in agreement. I looked up at Harry as his hand went further around my waist. I put my right hand on his chest while my left was around his own waist. I stood up on my tip toes and kissed his right cheek; then I buried my face in his chest. Now conscious about the audience in the room I smiled knowing that a dust of pink covered Harry's own cheeks as well of my own. Never had I ever thought I would be as happy to see my husband as I was today.

H

Harry's Point of View.

I jumped out of bed at the sound of my door opening. I saw that it was only Eggsy, saying that he had a leaving present for me. In his arms sat the most adorable puppy I've ever seen in my entire life. I took a hold of him in my hands, smiling as I watch his nose and ear twitch. When Eggsy pulled a gun to its head and asked if he should shot him I lost my mind. Running around the room yelling that he'd have to shoot me instead. Only a madman would shoot a puppy.

"What about you Harry? You were sick enough to shoot a puppy. Do you remember?"

All around me, the drawings on the walls came to life, flying all around the room. All different colours, dancing around the place like it was an open field, with luscious green grass and a bright and warm sun, basking the entire area in a warm yellow glow. Then everything changed. I was in my bathroom, the walls were filled with framed butterflies, and right in the centre was Mr Pickles; Moving his head and looking at me. I remember shooting him, only to be beyond relieved when I realised it was a blank. I relived Valentine shooting me in the head. Me saying my vows to my beautiful/handsome spouse. Saying 'I Do' and beginning life with them by my side. I remember everything.

"It was a blank."

"Yes, Harry."

"It was a fucking blank!"

"Yes! Yes, Harry!"

"I'd never hurt Mr Pickle!"

"Yes, Harry!"

"He lived to a ripe old age and dies of pancreatitis." Eggsy lowered the standard issue Kingsman pistol as I looked down at the puppy in my hands. "You're not Mr Pickle." I looked up at Eggsy and smiled. He came in for a hug and I couldn't do much to return it without dropping the poor puppy. "Valentine has to be stopped. He has the device."

"It's alright. It's sorted. Don't worry. We have a lot of catching up to do." Eggsy said, reassuring me that it had been taken care of and that a debriefing was headed my way.

"Where's Y/N?"

"The other side of that glass." I handed Eggsy the puppy and walked out the door, seeing only the back of my love. I would never say it aloud to anyone but her/him, but their arse was spectacular. I walked over to Y/N and wrapped my arms around their waist; gently swaying from left to right while humming the song that played during our first dance as a married couple.

Y/N spun around quicker than lightning. Y/N cried into my chest while I rubbed their back and kissed the top of their head. I rested my chin on the crown of her/his head while I waited for the episode to end. The second that happened I wasted no time bringing my lips to theirs, enjoying the feeling of being myself again.

Word Count: 1931

[swoonnu]

Lotto - Two (M)

Character: Chanyeol x reader Genre: Angst Warnings: Strong language, implications of sex Words: 3701

Three years, 36 months, 1095 days and 26,280 hours. That is how long it has been since you have seen him.

Three years ago, you married a man you did not love for the sake of your family and today, as you watched that man cook you breakfast, you felt a surge of love settle in the pit of your stomach. Over the 26,280 hours of being married to Junmyeon, you had grown to truly care for him. He was a beautiful man that did not belong to the family he was born into.

Your father died last year around New Years, leaving you the sole heir to his fortune. Junmyeon was there to hold you when the cries threatened to break your bones. When the sadness threatened to destroy you, he brought you temporary peace. The mourning had become the most painful experience of your life and he was there to put you back together. Yet, you could not provide him a child. For 3 years, you had tried but to no avail. You felt broken and useless. As a woman, that was your duty; to provide your husband a child and yet, you couldn’t do the one thing you were designed to do.

So instead, you found comfort in your newly found career. For the 25 years of your life, you learned everything your father took the time to teach you. You wanted to make him proud and this was the only way you knew how.

Your office, his office, sat on the top floor of the casino and hotel. It overlooked the city at the most beautiful point. Sunsets from the 34th floor made your heart swell. Your marriage was content; your career was easier than you expected and your life was simple but you felt restless. While you had grown to love Junmyeon, you heart earned for more and as the reason for your recent heart ache walked into your office, you were reminded why you suddenly felt restless.

Chanyeol had returned to your business after your father’s death. At first, you were hesitant to allow him to return to your life but after he showed his willingness to help, you allowed him.

Black adored your figure, an overwhelming sadness filled your lungs. Your husband sat next to you, stroking your hand gently. The room filled with people you did not know but all offering their deepest sympathies. They said the roads were icy and the driver couldn’t control the car. The night you received the call, your entire world fell apart. The world became the most suffocating place and you wanted to hide away.

The tears threatened to spill like an overflowing swimming pool but you held them back, for the sake of keeping face. You weren’t allowed to break down.

“It is okay to cry, darling.” The loving gaze of your husband did little to comfort you but you accepted the attempt with loving arms.

“Excuse me, but you have a visitor. He said he is an old friend.”

Before you could respond, his tall frame came into view. His sudden appearance forced the once held back tears out. On instinct, you stood and folded your arms around him in an attempt to crush the sadness from your bones.

“Y/n, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

The words repeated like a prayer against your hair, crashing into your nervous system. “I should have been here sooner, I’m so sorry.”

Your eyes finally met his and he was just as beautiful as the day he left. Your heart hurt, hurt for the loss of your father, for the man standing in front of you.

“Why are you here?” Your husband’s sudden voice brought you back to reality and you dropped your embrace almost immediately. You suddenly felt embarrassed for your heart aching for the loss of contact. All you wanted to do was reach out and be held by him. All you wanted was for him to suffocate the pain that you felt behind your rib cage.

“I’m here because even after everything, I was her best friend and she just lost her father,” Chanyeol spoke clearly and you felt your heart swell a bit more.

“She doesn’t need you.” You weren’t sure if he was jealous or if he was trying to protect you. Either way, you looked at Junmyeon with confusion written onto your face. He was attempting to push away the one person your heart wanted comfort from.

“Don’t do this here, please. He can be here, it is fine. I cannot deal with this situation and everything else. If you’re going to cause a problem, you can leave. If not, you are welcome to stay. I need to be alone.”

As you walked from the two men, your tears began to fall and you wanted to run as far as you could from everything. So, you did, you ran to the only place that made sense to you. The city lights speckled across your tear strained face. The sadden galaxy written into your soul as you sat in your office.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

Your eyes diverted themselves from the scene to the man standing at the entrance of your office.

“I told you to stay away. Why’d you come back?” Defense was the only emotion you could comprehend. Your heart ached for him but your senses told you to push him out. “Y/n, I heard about your father and I knew you’d need all the love you could. I wanted to be here for you.”

“I don’t need you Chanyeol. I have my husband for that.” Your voice spoke with more strain than you bared to admit. While the truth was, you did have your husband for that, you knew it wasn’t enough.

“Look, I did not come here to cause you any more pain. I came here as a friend and because, well, I wanted you to find out from me before you found out on Monday.”

“Find out what Chanyeol?” The anger in your voice became evident.

“Your father gave me a place back in the company before he died. He called me about two months ago. I had been running my own company abroad and he liked what I was doing. So, he asked me to come and work for him again. I hesitated because of you. I did not know how I would be able to handle it. And then I got the news that he died and well, here I am. I came here because I wanted to see you, I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. For everything.”

The anger threatened to spill from the pit of your stomach, you stood before you even realized it. “He did what? What position? My security again?”

He laughed and you realized in that moment how much you missed his laugh, “Chief Finical Officer. I am pretty sure you don’t need a security detail; you can take care of yourself.”

Now it was your turn to laugh, “CFO?! He never needed that position before, why now?”

“He said he wanted help, he did not go into detail but he always knew I was good with business choices. I’ve grown a lot over the years and I am very good at running a business. He asked if I’d be content with working for him and watching you with Junmyeon and I said yes.”

“Fine, whatever. I can’t deal with this anymore. I’ll see you Monday.” And with that, you walked from your office.

Junmyeon had been the support system you needed. After the death of your father, Chanyeol attempted to console you but you denied his attempts. Unless it was business related, the two of you did not interact much. He made your heart yearn for me, your body reacted to him from memory you were too afraid to let go of. He had created a home within your heart long ago and time did not erase it. Your attempts to build a permanent residence for Junmyeon were crumbling foundations the moment Chanyeol returned.

As he sat opposite from you, listening intently to the meeting you seemed to make no mind to, you were reminded of the times you two spent together all those years ago. Working alongside him had made your heart restless. The moment he returned, you were sure you still loved him. But you were still married and he had done the one thing you wished of him, he moved on. He no longer fought for you, he no longer attempted to steal glances from you that held all his hopes.

The meeting ended without a word from you, no one seemed to mind. The board members addressed you like you were a child, they heard your voice but did not listen. No one seemed to care what you thought, except for Chanyeol. There was a time when you’d raise hell and demand them listen but now, you were quite sure where that woman fled. The day your father died, he took the person you were with him. As the rest of the board members left, Chanyeol stayed behind.

“What’s going on? Something’s bothering you, I know it. This plan will work, don’t worry. We’re going to get the funds to build it. I promise you.”

“Yes, I am aware how sound this plan is and I am fine.” The last few weeks you had been annoyed by his presence, you could not explain why but you felt like you needed to run as far from him as possible. “Y/n, I know it’s not easy but let me help you. Please. As your business partner and as your friend, I am here to lend a hand.”

“You’ve helped enough, thank you and I’ll see you in the morning.”

The way he was looking at you threatened to force your lips onto his. Your eyes lingered on his plump lips longer than you wanted them to, internally you hoped he did not notice.

“Y/n, I am not here to hurt you. I want this business to be what your father hoped it would be. Even with our past, your family helped me in more ways than I could ever repay you. Your father gave a stupid kid a career and you, well you gave a stupid kid a reason to live. You know your father contacted me after the wedding. He told me he believed more in me. You probably don’t know this, but he offered to pay for my college. He wanted to see me succeed. He knew how much I was hurting and he honestly wanted to help me. He explained to me why I could not be with you and that my life was meant for more but he told me he understood the love I have for you more than anyone knew.

Have. Present tense. That is all your brain understood, have.

“He was a hopeless romantic.” You laughed at the memory of your father, always writing love letters to your mother. Even though he would force his goons to hurt others who interfered with his business, to his loved ones, he was the kindest man you had ever met.

You two stared at each other silently, neither knowing what to say or do. Your eyes lingered to his lips once more, this time he noticed. You watched as his tongue danced across his bottom lip. You held your thighs together in an attempt to suppress the feeling that was washing over you. Your palms felt sweaty and your heart threatened to beat out of your chest.

“You still affect me in a way you shouldn’t. The moment you walked back into my life, I wanted you. My heart is betraying me. I married another man, I pushed you out of my life. And now, all I want to do is fucking kiss you and I am so annoyed. Chanyeol, you should leave.”

But he didn’t. He moved closer to where you were sitting, “Do you really want me to?” You shook your head, the only response your body could make. “Y/n..” He spoke softly as he pulled you from your chair, “Tell me to stop.” His lips parted as they inched closer to yours. Again, you shook your head as his lips crashed against yours. It was as if the last three years did nothing to silence the screaming that was now taking place in your heart. Your lips molded against his, the memory ingrained into your system. His tongue swept across your bottom lip, awaiting permission to enter. You allowed him as your tongues melted against each other, each aching to make up for the lost time. It was only when you needed air that you pulled away.

 “You should have stayed away.” He smiled and nodded, “Yes, I know.” Again, his lips met yours but this time it was less heated than the last. This kiss was sweet and soft, his way of telling you he was still in love with you. “Chanyeol…” Your voice broke as you whispered his name across his own lips, sending a shiver down his spine. “Take me.” He looked at you with wide eyes, “Here? Now?” You could not suppress the laugh that bubbled in your stomach, “Please.” You sounded more desperate than you wanted to but as he wrapped his strong arms under your body and placed you on the conference table, you did not mind. “Wait.” The break of contact made you whimper but as you watched him lock the door, you were welcomed with his hands onto your flesh.

The way his body molded against yours made you want to cry as if the three-year absence had not taken place, it made your restless heart settle. Your body strung over the table, your clothed breasts against the wooden surface. The world seemed to disappear as you felt him soothe your sadness away. Broken promises and breathy whispers across your back as curses left your lips. You felt euphoria burst at the seams as white flashed across your irises, stars dancing themselves in your line of vision.

“Chanyeol..” Was the only word that left your lips, like a mantra that threatened to ruin everything. You felt him slow his movements, his high chasing yours. He stilled for a moment, heaving breathing against yours back until he reluctantly pulled himself out of you. Your legs felt too heavy to move, all you could do was sit back in the chair and look at him. He looked beautiful, his hair a mess, his lips swollen and pink from friction.

“You should leave.” The words left your mouth before your mind registered what you had said, he looked at you with soft eyes as he pulled himself back into his slacks. “Please, just go.”

“Y/n, I still love you. I never stopped. I tried. I met people, I dated. I even bought a ring for someone. I never gave it to anyone, I sold it and broke up with her. Because you were still there, in my thoughts. I buried myself in my work, that is why my business became what it is. I had no other choice but to find something else to occupy my thoughts because you dominated them. I thought of you with him, having his children and being happy. I wanted that for you but I wanted that with me.”

You stood to straighten your clothes out, “I can’t have his children.” The response was not what he expected from you. “I’m broken.” You pulled a compact mirror from your desk, in hopes of remedying the mess he made of your makeup. “You can leave now.” He shook his head, “You are not broken but you are still just as stubborn.”

A knock on the conference door brought you two out of the wordless stare that occupied your faces. He unlocked it and left without a word.

The following days brought little-to-no interaction with Chanyeol and yourself. He stayed in his office, you stayed in yours. Work had done little to distract you from the urge to touch him whenever you two were in the same room. Fate had decided that your soulmate would never be yours. That you belonged to someone else. Someone that you had grown to love and care for but someone who was not meant for you. You had not thought of the consequences of your encounter with Chanyeol until Junmyeon turned to face you one night in bed.

“I know you still love him. I know your heart belongs to him, always has. I am not a blind man, Y/n.” His sudden outburst made you drop the book you were reading, “it’s okay, I understand. I’ve always understood.” Before you had a chance to respond, he turned his back to you.

Four months later, you caught her in your home. You came home early in hopes of avoiding Chanyeol. To your surprise, Junmyeon was already home but he was not alone. She was beautiful, you had to admit. He attempted to defend the scene you had walked into.

“No, Junmyeon. It is okay. I’ll leave you two alone.” Your eyes met his, the look he was giving you was unreadable.  You packed a small bag and drove back to your office. You had no place to run, so you stayed the night in the penthouse suite. For weeks, you lived between your home and the room at the hotel. You would return home to get more things before returning to the hotel. You occupied your time with work.

“Y/n, can we please talk.” Junmyeon’s voice broke through your concentration on the 20th day of you two not speaking. “Listen, I am sorry for everything. I did not mean for this to happen.”

“Stop, it is okay. I understand. You deserve to be happy. I don’t make you happen, I haven’t for a long time. It is okay, my father is not here. We can get a divorce so you can be with her. I think she suits you well.” “I did not mean to hurt you.”

The next day you brought him divorce papers. The divorce was amicable, the business relationship between the two families depended on that. You were not hurt as much as you should have been. You simply thought of it as an end to a chapter, not the end of your life. You had not seen much of Chanyeol since the day in the conference room months ago. He had made no attempt to speak to you unless it dealt with the business. But you had finally worked up the courage to face him, to love him.

Your fingers trembled against the door to his office, hesitating much longer than you wanted. After a while, you finally let yourself tap against the wood.

“Come in.” As you let yourself in, you noticed he was not alone. A woman accompanied his side, “Oh, I did not know you had company. I am sorry.”

You hurried to let yourself out but before you could exit he was standing next to you. “What is it Y/n?” The look on his face made you want to kiss him, he looked happy. Content. As your eyes met his briefly before moving to the woman that sat by his desk, you noticed the reason for his happiness. A small silver band sat on the ring finger of her left hand. Attached to the band sat a single, simple diamond. She was too busy looking at something on his computer to notice you were staring, but he did. “This is Bora, she is my fiancé.”

She stood to give you a small smile, “Nice to finally meet you Y/n. I have heard so much about you from Yeol.” You smiled as you shook her hand, “Nice to meet you as well.” Your eyes finally met his, this time hurt had attached itself to your features. “I am so sorry to interrupt. I will be going now. It was not important.”

As you turned to leave, you felt his eyes fixed on your back. You grasped the letter in your hand firmly as the door of his office shut behind you. Your hands fumbled to crumple the piece of paper before it was forced into the trashcan in the hallway. You felt your lungs burn, your heart began to race as the tears strung themselves onto your cheeks. You wanted to run, to run as far from the building as you could. But, you had nowhere to go. You had no home, you had no one to comfort you.

Chanyeol stepped from his office as you disappeared into the elevator. He reached into the trashcan and pulled out the paper you had tossed away.

Dear Chanyeol,

I have spent my entire life preparing myself to be his. I was told from the moment we were children that Junmyeon would by my husband. It was our destined path. I felt content with that choice made for me. Until I found you. The moment you kissed me, I knew my life was meant to be with you. I remember the night my father threatened to murder you. You were so stupid back then, thinking you could take from him without harm. Little did he know; you took his most precious thing, me. I remember the first time you made love to me. You had made yourself home inside my bones that night. I knew I loved you then. I wanted to marry you, I always wanted you. I begged you to be happy without me, I regret those words now. I am so happy you came back into my life, I finally feel home again. My divorce was not painful, it freed me to love you fully. I want us to be together like it should have been from the start. If you’ll still have me, please accept my apology for attempting to let you go. I love you, I always will.

 Bora grabbed at his elbow, pulling his gaze from the paper. “Are you alright darling? What is this?” He pushed the paper into his pocket, “Nothing. Let’s go home.”