#this is why i have hope anon <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[fluffypotatey]

The thing with shadowpeach that makes me sad sometimes is that it can feel one sided …

I’m pretty sure it isn’t, but we don’t have a confirmation

not verbally, no

[chanstopher]

Bang Chan ✧ Case 143 Relay for anon 

[its-short-for-jackalope]

Drawing request drawing request! If u’d like, can u do Holloduke/Holloweane? If not that, then maybe Chumby, the Hatchetfield Ape-Man with Willabella Muckwab. Put ‘em in a room together and see what happens haha!

Just run away with me, [I] won't feel so alone

[anigst]

Detective Conan - Ep 323,324

[okiroash]

what do you think were red's motivations for leaving to mt. silver?

A lot of reasons,,!!!! I'll list them..

The fame that came from being a champion, becoming that of a young celebrity... having the media follow your trail, tracking everything you do, trying to get their chance to have an interview with you (even when you're in your own home)... borderline stalking, it's terribly scary to happen to someone.. let alone an 11 years old kid who isn't much of a people person

A headcanon I have is that red had been bullied and left out from groups in his early childhood, the feeling of alienation never left him, turning into a champion has completely make him feel even lonelier than ever before... the way people would hail him as a legend, some sort of- concept of strength.. a figure to strive as, a hero who can never show struggle or much emotions, pretty much dehuminizing him.. (this is.. based off the adoration from the ingame dialogues + how a lot of irl fans treats him)

So when he shows a side that's different from people's idealized version of him, bad rumors spread and it's just awful, to be hearing that in whispers as you walk pass them

Another thing is champion's responsibility... because the previous champions have been adults they can do league work just fine, but red's a kid so... while good thing he doesn't have to do most of the work, he still have to attend meetings (which he hates it because he ends up learning about corruption and shit about kanto) he also have to be on standby within the champion room- for far too long than he would like.. makes him feel like he's inside an enclosure, nothing new ever comes, not even a window to look out

The third reason as to why he left is.. to protect the people who are close to him... his mom has to constantly deal with refusing down intervierwers, leftover team rockets grunts have a grudge against him and he have seen what they're capable of.. he cares about his family a lot..

And.. lastly.. the face blue made when he defeated him in the last battle... oak coming to the room to scold him only made things worser.. it never left him, red felt so much guilt

You can see how red doesn't feel at home anywhere anymore.. not with the media.. not with everything.. can't take a proper break, after numerous overwhelming days he took off to mountain silver in the middle of the night..

[inkykeiji]

DAZAI AKU AND READER DYNAMIC AGAIN 😧 not a request but i’m wondering how dazai would punish aku and if reader would be involved like forcing aku to watch as he touches them or only allowing aku to eat the come from readers 🐱 after he nuts in it. 🥱

anonnnn thank u so much for this i have SO much to say oh my gosh

tw: mentions of caning + physical assault, daddy kink, overstimulation, noncon, cuckholding kinda???, orgasm denial, dacryphilia, toxic relationships, cum eating, honestly Daddy dazai is just brutal. 

words: 1.1k

SO! the punishment that i had in mind at the end of that piece specifically was actually purely physical—it was caning! really fucking brutal caning that borders on physical assault. i’m not gonna talk about it much tho because HEHE between u and i, i am currently writing a lil piece that deals with like,,, the aftermath??? and the punishment itself is kinda gotten into in that oneshot so c: 

BUT I LOVE BOTH OF THESE IDEAS SOOOOO MUCH and i could totally see Daddy dazai definitely using either of these as punishment so let’s get into that because i have many Thoughts!!! 

okay first of all forcing akutagawa to eat reader out only after dazai has cum in her/you is so sick and sadistic i love it SO much oh my goddd especially since you know he’d be more than eager to do it, to please Daddy, to receive that precious praise dazai is so goddamn stingy with giving him. so he’d be so fucking enthusiastic as he sucks and slurps Daddy’s thick cream from your cunt, making a real mess of his face, cheeks and chin glistening oh-so-prettily with your and Daddy’s combined essence, tongue unfurling from his mouth to clumsily lick at his own stained skin, anywhere and everywhere he can possibly reach, slick muscle flexing as he stretches it as far as he can, desperate not to waste a single drop. 

and he’s holding your thighs open with such force that his fingertips are sinking into your flesh, nails carving deep crescents in their place, bruises blossoming beneath his grip, sowed deep in the tissues. your muscles ache from how unbelievably wide he’s stretched them, but he won’t let you close them, won’t even allow you a moment of rest at all, a man on a mission—your comfort doesn’t fucking matter, not when Daddy has a demand that needs to be fulfilled.

he eats you out until you’re fucking spotless, not a single ounce of Daddy’s cum anywhere, not even splattered on your inner thighs, because akutagawa, good boy that he is, sopped that up with his tongue, too. he’s almost obsessive with it, eating you until you cum again, until he’s sure your juices have flushed every last bit of Daddy from your body and into akutagawa’s tummy, safe and sound and where it should be. he’ll get in trouble for that, too, of course—you were never supposed to cum, he was never supposed to make that happen, and it’ll be his fault for allowing it, for procuring it, no matter how he tries to spin it. he knows better to argue with Daddy once Daddy’s made up his mind, but he just can’t seem to help it when it comes to situations involving you, whiny complaints spilling from his lips before his brain can even sift through them, voice stringy and thin as he cries about how it isn’t fair! and she should’ve stopped it herself! and it isn’t his fault she can’t control herself! 

at the end of it all, though, he’s proud of himself irregardless, proud of the stellar job he did eating you clean. and even though he scolds him callously, Daddy’s proud of him, too <3

ON THE OTHER HAND, i also really love the idea of Daddy dazai fucking reader over and over and over again and not only making akutagawa watch but also instructing akutagawa to not touch himself at all, in any way (and yes, this includes not shifting and twitching his hips up, rolling them into the air in tiny, pathetic little motions so the head of his cock grinds against the tight denim of his jeans). i love it, because it’s a double whammy in so many ways: in addition to the obvious, he also has to watch as his Daddy fucks the favourite, he has to watch as his Daddy plays with his toy, feeling left out and neglected and lonely. he has to watch as Daddy pushes his toy well past the point of pleasure and into a whole ton of pain, easily reminding akutagawa in that infuriatingly charming, slightly breathless voice that your pain is his fault (v touya-nii of him LMAO).

at first, he acts as if he doesn’t care, and he tells Daddy so, the words spit from his lips with such derision it sours his face, features screwed up tightly. it doesn’t matter to him, he says. he doesn’t give a fuck if she’s in pain, he swears. 

except by the third orgasm you’re sobbing out his name, dainty fingers grappling for him in cute little claws that scratch at the mattress in their haste and leave little divots in their wake, sheets ripping audibly, and ryuu! ryuu, ryuu, it hurts, make Daddy stop! 

but this, this pure emotional torment, is a part of his punishment, too, he realizes. 

because then Daddy’s shushing you, gentle and sweet and all of the things he never is with akutagawa, large palms cushioning your sweaty cheeks as he murmurs to you, voice silk and syrup. 

you can do it for Daddy, can’t you, sweetheart? you can cum one more for me, right? you want to be good for me, don’t you? 

and that hurts, too. watching Daddy be so fucking nice to you, watching daddy dole out praise to you the way he doles out punishment to akutagawa. it isn’t until dazai’s sure he’s fully broken akutagawa in every conceivable way that he finally stops, takes the shivering, snivelling man into his arms and onto his lap, akutagawa’s chest shuddering beneath the force of the sobs he keeps trying so desperately to shove down, long lashes scraggly and weighted with fat tears.

you did good, baby, he’s whispering as slim fingers pop the button of akutagawa’s jeans, hand wiggling beneath the material to pull his cock free a moment later. Daddy’s good baby boy, so precious, so fucking pathetic, aren’t you?

yes, yes, yes, he’s sobbing into dazai’s neck as Daddy strokes his aching cock, hard and fast right at the top, thumb grinding little circles into the slit. his words are nothing more than tangles of spit oozing all over Daddy’s skin as they leak, uncontrollably so, from his lips, but that’s alright, Daddy doesn’t mind the mess today, humming out condescending coos into inky strands as he encourages akutagawa to cum all over Daddy’s fist.

and, oh, he’s so fucking hopeless for his Daddy, cumming after a mere three pulls of his cock, thick and sticky and so much, it’s so much for such a skinny boy, almost embarrassingly, disgustingly so, don’t you think ryuu-kun? 

of course. of course it is; he’s disgusting and deplorable and so fucking desperate, but he did it; he’s Daddy’s good boy, and that’s all that matters <3 

[0vergrowngraveyard]

Question. I think Sonic and Tails are just good friends. I don’t believe Sonic raised Tails, and I don’t believe Sonic and Tails have a sibling or father son type bond. Am I allowed to say that? With how many people on this site seem to cheer “the brothers ever”, “they’re brothers your honor”, and “unbreakable bond”, I get the feeling that I would get internet crucified (or real life crucified, idk) for saying anything that doesn’t run parallel to this strongly held belief. So, can I say that I think Sonic and Tails are just good friends and that your opinion is also valid? Or am I going to suddenly suffer a stroke after you read this from you killing me with your mind?

i don’t care. block me if you don’t like them being portrayed like that

[ray935sworld]

Beznaia forcefully, please?

Sure thing! Thanks for the idea! So this was intresting to write. I hope you'll like how I wrote it, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. It got a little more possessive and jealous as I expect.

(Potential dub-con but everyone is happy about making out and consents to it so not actual dub-con. More lack of discussion) And allusions to NSFW content

"Satisfied" Marco Bezzecci x Pecco Bagnaia - forcefuly - 1.8k words

Sure. Pecco was definitely calm. He was known to be mostly calm and collected – if he wasn’t being irritated.  There was no anger buzzing with the same rhythm as the loud music. Why would there be? He had won the championship for the 2nd time. His veins weren't flooded with frustration. He was the king of his sport, wasn’t he? No need for frustration when his holidays had only just started. His hand definitely hadn't gripped his drink just slightly tighter as he watched Bez basically being publicly fucked on a dance floor in Valencia.

Bez was dancing with good 5 centimetre space between them, a stranger. He looked like a local men, his body tanned and his hair black. He seemed to be around their age. Maybe older. And there was no denying that the other was very hot. He was taller than Bez, a little bulkier with handsome features.

Pecco continued to watch him while drinking his vodka. The alcohol burned his mouth. For some reason he had decided to keep it in just for a few seconds longer. He felt the drops burn his cheeks from the inside. He felt the heat radiate under his tongue. Then he swallowed.

He felt it ran down his throat. It felt like daggers stabbing him from the inside. Even his stomach felt like being ripped apart. He closed his eyes for a seconds and shacked himself to made the feeling go away.

He had done it. For the 2nd time. In a row. He had won motogp. He had won the 2023 titled and therefore reclaimed his victory from 2022. He had archived what they all - included Bez - wanted. He had fulfilled his childhood dream not once but twice.

And still he felt angry. Dissatisfied. There was a pinch in his chest that wouldn't go away, no matter how many wins he got. Even winning the championship by winning the race had done nothing to make it go away. He still wasn't happy.

It wasn't the same as last year. Last year he had felt like the king of the world. Last year he felt like he could do anything he would set his mind to. He had been undefeatable. He had felt like a winner . He had been fulfilled.

But something had changed. Something had changed him since last year.

Cause now he felt like he could only get a quarter if what he actually desired. When he found the second glass of vodka in his hands, he wondered why he had even bothered ordering lemon vodka. The stuff tasted all the same to him. Maybe some people could taste a difference. But he couldn’t and he didn’t really care.

It was way past 2am. Maybe even 3... Or 4?  He had lost track of time. At some point Vale had insisted he should stop drinking. He did. For a few hours. He had water and lemonade and cola - more than he ever did in his life. But nothing seemed to help. Not even when he and Bez, Vale, Luca and some of his friends  had taken a midnight McDonald's break when changing clubs. The feeling stayed in his veins.

He hold the liquor in his hand as he watched Marco. His dark brown curls were shaking. He was throwing his head back, his neck exposed. The skin looked soft. Perfect to place a hickey there. It’d be a shame not to. He saw the sweat reflecting the damp light of the club. He felt his blood shoot up.

Yeah… He wanted to know how the Italian would taste. He wanted to know what his naked skin would feel like if he sucked it enough to create a violet colouring and present the world the evidence of what they had done together. He wanted to make him sweat like that.

He watched his best friends smiling about having the hands of another man around his neck. Seeing the scene unfold as careless as right now, made the unplaceable feeling in his body grow. He was angry. On the day - or night - of his 2nd MotoGP championship, his 3rd overall, all he felt was rage. And he hated it. Shouldn’t this be a great night? One of the few when he could get it all.

But he didn’t had it all. He fucking didn’t. Because he wanted Bez. There was no denying it anymore. He had decided on him. Maybe it had happened today or last year. Or maybe when he had cursed himself as a teenager for having a crush on the new boy in the academy and he had promised himself that it wasn’t love, just a friendly adoration for the newcomer.

Instead of him, that fucking stranger had what he wanted. Why even him? If it'd be Cele, he wouldn't feel this way. Pecco was sure about that. He had seen the two friends flirt many times and dance together. As friends. But this stranger? He could smell his attention from over here and he wouldn’t let him get away with it.

He felt the glass on his lips. The burning sensation that hadn't really left, returned. He drank again.

Then he saw Bez putting his hand on the other man's cheek. And he lost it. With a loud stomp he smashed the glass on the table. He stood up, paying the bartender who gave him a judge look. She obviously wasn't a fan of the way he treated her glasses. As a silent apology he gave her an extra tip. She hadn't done anything after all.

Then he went for Marco. All the anger, all the emotion took form. The rage in his eyes were unmatched. He went straight for the curly hair rider.

Bez spotted him before he even approached him. He gave him a short smile but his hand continued to rest on the other man's hip.

„Please excuse us" Francesco hissed at the stranger, giving him an angry look. He hoped to shoot him a clear message as he forcefully took Bez hand - the one that had rested on the other man's hip.

He pressed himself between the two as he pulled the younger rider towards the other side. As he did he whispered an audible „Bastardo" to the man. Just for good measure. He had to make sure he wouldn't try that again.

He felt Bez tugging at his hand. „Pecco!" For a moment the Italian felt like he was being scolded. Marco had apparently heard the insult and was now a little too hesitant to follow the other for his liking.

He turned around to see Bez look at him questionably. „We need to talk. Now." he hissed against the loud music. Before the other could answer, their fingers let go of each other and he instead felt Peccos arm around his lower back. He was basically now pressed towards the other side of the dance floor.

Bez decided to obey. Mainly cause he was curious what was going on in Pecco's drunk head and cause he didn't want to annoy anyone around them.

Like that, they went towards the exit.

They left the club and Bez felt the coldness of the Spanish night hit him. He smiled, happy to get some fresh air in his drunk mind. He was still able to think enough but he felt tipsy.

Pecco on the other hand only felt one thing. Hate. Desire. Anger and love. Admiration and rejection. Everything was mixed in his body and he was unable to tell one from the other.

Before he could stop himself, he acted. He  grabbed his best friend by the waist and pushed him back. He pushed him against the wall of the club and placed his hands on his shoulders. He felt his muscles. He felt how tense his whole body suddenly was.

If he had been sober enough he would have realized that it's a sign of fear. But he wasn't sober enough. Instead he just realized that this might be the only chance he ever got.

His other hand caught Bez chin. He hold it up, making him look at him. There was a weird look on Marcos face. Confusion. Fear. Maybe a hint of arousal. All in one. Not that a drunk Pecco had the brain capacity to realize that.

Instead he just kissed him.

He pressed his lips against Bez. For a moment he felt the other move his body. Without hesitation he fixated the younger one more against the cold stones. His frustration was boiling to the top. He was so close to finally getting what he wanted. He wouldn't let him slip away now.

There was a roughness as he moved quickly and demanding. He stepped even closer, close enough for their whole body to touch as he adjusted the other's jar slightly.

He had a new angle that gave him more access to those plumb and full lips that had started to move according to him. In a way he wished. He could make them move like he wanted. It wouldn’t even be complicated.

Marco has just obeyed. He had accepted being taken like that. And when he did, when Pecco forcefully kissed his best friend like they would both die any seconds, he moaned quietly against him.

Fransceso took that as an encouragement. He was determined to get that sound out his best friend once more. But more intense. More desperate. More everything. He needed it. He wanted to make him feel the same rage and frustration he had felt the whole evening.

And he started at his mouth.

All it took for Pecco to get full access was to slightly open his mouth and Marco did the same. He groaned as he felt the other ones tongue against his own. He had always thought a kiss like that might be weird, even disgusting but this feeling was nothing like that. It was everything. It was full and made him feel powerful.

He couldn’t help but wonder what that mouth might feel like if explored. Marcos breath was already hot. His whole mouth must be as well. His mouth must feel hot and wet, reaching perfection with his skilful tongue. He needed that mouth around a certain part of his anatomy. As fast as possible.

Then he let go of Marco. Both men were breathing heavily, trying to catch their breath after being unable to gain new oxygen for some time.

They shared a look. Both unable to really react. Both unsure what to say. So instead, Marco rested his forehead against Pecco's head.

„That was hot" he whispered. „You wanna continue, bello?"

Pecco let out a laugh he hadn’t noticed he was holding in as his arms found their way around Marcos waist. The hate was gone. The anger had disappeared. The knot in his stomach had been uncurled. He felt satisfied. Well… Almost.

„You really think I want to stop now?"

But he knew there was a way to make him fully satisfied.

[fatuismooches]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA yippe!!!!!! its christmas!!!! i got another cute scenario i have to talk about or else ill wither away into a raisin...

imagine the first year u meet dottore at the akademiya... on christmas day reader happily gives him a present and he's all confused cuz he's probably never been given a present before so he gets super flustered and is like "hmph i have no need for such a thing." but when reader says they can return it he suddenly stops them and insists he will have it anyway because they already went through the trouble (hes secretly super giddy with joy like a school girl) avusugdviibsibkbs i love tsundere dottore.... He acts like he don't care but he do 😊 he looooves reader.... ehehehe :3

I love akademiya dottore!!!!!!!! I NEED MORE OF HIM 😭 aaaaaoooagghh *I explode into a million pieces*

- 🐓

UGH YES,,, Teehee Akademiya Dottore who definitely despises all holidays, not just Christmas... he was never included or appreciated on such days (on any day actually </3) so it leads to resentment for them, as well as a general annoyance whenever he sees anyone celebrating. Unfortunately, you didn't know his exact reasoning for hating the holidays (just assumed he was very grumpy) since this is only your first year together (he is very guarded) but you still want to give him a gift to show your appreciation!! He may be irritated and mean to you sometimes but you still care about him very much!

It's no surprise that Zandik is a difficult person, even more so when you're trying to be nice to him... you present him with a very nicely wrapped gift, name tag and all, to which he just stares at you... opens his mouth and then closes it, then opens it again and rolls his eyes... going on about how you wasted your time/money/effort/whatever on doing this and that he finds the whole 'gift-giving' thing stupid... after a bit of back and forth of you trying to force him to take the gift you just huff at his difficult ass and give up... you try to play it off but you can't lie that you are a bit sad your crush friend couldn't accept your gift.

But then Zandik just snatches it out of your hands and acts as if he's doing YOU a favor by accepting the gift... saying that he'll accept it just this once, since everything is all done and said. Despite his usual expression of annoyance, his heart is beating a lot faster than he wants to admit!! Because despite all his eye-rolling and tongue-clicking of all the holidays, it feels nice to be noticed on one. To be appreciated. To be seen as a human and not a monster. In the shared dorm room when you're not there, he opens the gift (very carefully i must add, he keeps the perfect wrapping paper that has no rips) and just... stares at the gift. He... likes it a lot.

The only question now is, does he make himself a fool and try to gift you back something as well...?

[fullsunstrawberry]

https://twitter.com/haecful/status/1739601208229421149?t=WTQM42b6hcwxHLc0TM2tFQ&s=19

😭😭😭😭 i cant even talk when i saw this. I just copied the link immediately and thought of you.

- 🍔

HE DID THAT ON PURPOSE HOW DARE HE OMG IM GONNA GO INSANE THAT UJFSGSFijgafi

[fumifooms]

You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.

[seamsterspell]

Why do you think Levi only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange?

What a surprise! Hello there anon!

Oh, I actually like this question very much >:D I’m sure there are many explanations out there by all the amazing people in the fandom regarding this topic. However, since you asked for my opinion, then I will gladly give my two cents regarding this topic.

Let's see if I can put my psychology degree to good use.

Disclaimer: since I'm a levihan slut, I'm sure you know what to expect from this. Also, English is not my first language, so please forgive me if you found any mistakes :D

First of all, we know that Levi had never said “Dedicate your heart” before (as suggested by Hange). 

If that’s the case, then why did he never say that before? Well, I think it’s because he wasn’t your typical by-the-book soldier. Unlike most people in the corps, Levi joined under a special circumstance. We know that he didn’t voluntarily enlist himself as a trainee so he could join the Survey Corps and heroically save humanity from all the titans. Instead, he joined the corps because Erwin personally scouted him. Because of that, he didn't have any particular or specific reason to join it in the first place (unlike let’s say Eren or even Hange), he even planned on quitting the corps at one point. His reason for staying in the corps—other than his belief in Erwin—was just as simple as: “I like the fresh air of the outside world.”

EDIT: Okay, I just want to make myself clear. I'm not saying that his motivation in joining the corps was so shallow or even implying that he does not care a bit for humanity. He cares obviously, if he didn't then we would not have Captain Levi in our SNK story. What I meant by my statement above was to highlight how simple he was as a soldier. Like, he didn't need a grand motivation to join in the first place, because he just knew that staying in the corps was the good thing to do. He risked his life everyday in battles just for a simple wish of breathing the fresh air. He wanted the people in the wall to be free from the stinky air, because for him freedom is in the mundane things in life. To quote my other post: "His simplicity is what makes him kind."

Also, I made a follow-up post regarding my interpretation of Levi's character here. You don't have to read it, but if you want to know how I see Levi as a character, I hope that post can help.

But anyway, since he was scouted under a special condition (as well as having enormous strength as a soldier), I think he somehow had a privilege in the corps to fuck around and be as “disrespectful” as he wanted to be. Not to mention Erwin became a commander around a year after Levi joined, so my man was probably living his best nepotism/VIP life. Therefore, I would think that Levi wasn’t as strict with the rules as other soldiers. He wasn’t the kind of soldier who kept preaching about "dedicate your life" to others. He just came to work, did his job, and went home (just like me fr). I’m not saying he doesn’t care about humanity (he cares obviously) it’s just he doesn’t express it in a traditional soldier way.

No wonder we all were so surprised when he did say THAT WORDS to Hange. It wasn't like him at all. Even Hange was caught off guard by him saying it, right?

But then, this raises another question, why is it when he finally said it, he only said it to Hange? Why, for instance, he didn’t say it to Erwin? I mean, both Erwin and Hange went on a suicide mission. Moreover, out of all the people that we know in the story, we can see that Levi shares many significant moments in the narrative with these two. If that’s the case, then why did he say different things to each of them?

For me, the answer is quite simple, it’s because Levi is an empathetic person. Both “Give up on your dreams and die for us” and “Dedicate your heart” that he said to Erwin and Hange respectively were something that he believed they needed to hear at THAT moment. It was his last words for them right before they died, his last comfort.

He told Erwin to give up on his dreams and die because at that moment, when their troops were cornered by the beast titan, Erwin showed his vulnerable side to Levi. Erwin admitted that he actually had a plan (albeit a suicidal one for him and the rest of the soldiers) to defeat the beast titan but he withheld it at first because: 1) he didn’t want to die because he wanted to see the basement; and 2) he didn’t want to send any more soldiers into their death because he was being haunted by the ghost of the past soldiers who had dedicated their heart to his plan.

Therefore, Levi, out of his compassion for Erwin, took the burden of making that painful choice from Erwin’s hand. He even made a promise to kill the beast titan, as if to say that all of their death wouldn’t be in vain. He said it to make Erwin feel better, which is why Erwin smiled after Levi said that. 

I think the same explanation can be said for Hange's situation. However, to understand why he only said “Dedicate your heart” to Hange, I think we need to talk about the nature of their relationship first. First of all, they were close friends, that is obvious. They had known each other for quite a long time and they had gone on many missions together (and survived), so their bond was strong. To quote Moblit from that one Smartpass AU he shares with Levi: “[Levi and Hange have] a special kind of bond from spending many years together. It’s something that Moblit didn't have with [Hange].”

Speaking of Levi, one of the things that I feel people tend to overlook from Levi is his caring nature. He cares for his squads, for humanity as a whole, and especially for his trusted comrades (e.g. Erwin and Hange). However, since he isn’t exactly a very eloquent person, he has a weird way of showing his affection, like when he told Erwin that he would break his legs so he didn't have to join the dangerous operation to retake Shiganshina. Fortunately, since Erwin knew Levi’s character, he understood the meaning behind his words. Although for most people, it was probably hard to tell. 

Other than Erwin, the other person who could see Levi’s kindness was of course Hange—who also received a lot of care from Levi. It might be because of the nature of her job (getting too close to titans for her experiments + her role as a commander later) and because of her tendency to be a little bit reckless as well as forgetful of taking care of herself when excited (which was why she had Moblit by her side) that made Levi feel the need to pay a lot of attention to her.

And by a lot, I mean A LOT. 

This is just my opinion, but in the canon, I noticed that Levi is actually the one who expresses or initiates a lot of actions toward Hange (believe me, my man is working overtime):

Asking about her new “hobby” in rocks (after Annie’s capture).

Noticing her distress after Pastor Nick’s death and trying to lift her spirit up.

Calming her down when she was upset at Keith Shadis when he finally told the truth about Grisha's past & his reason for leaving his commander position in Survey Corps.

Thinking about Hange’s safety during missions (after Bertholdt’s transformation in Shiganshina and when she was attacked by one of Kenny’s men in the Reiss Chapel).

Telling her to not touch some random things at the beach.

Telling Moblit to take care of Hange because he can't be always by her side (Smartpass AU)

Knocking Hange out to forcibly bathe her (Smartpass AU). Also, the way he worded it in a way that "yeah I don't like her filthiness when I'm off-duty, so I took it upon myself to clean her." I see you...

Levi saving Hange from being hit on the head by a bunch of books + telling her to change her wet clothes (Smartpass AU)

Well you get what I mean. Anyway—at least for me—he doesn’t seem to do this solely because of Hange’s lack of self-care. I think he shows a lot of care for Hange because she’s important to him, which is of course exacerbated when they became the last two veterans to survive after the operation to take back Shiganshina. After so much lost, he clearly saw her as the last person he’s close to. I mean, in one of the Smartpass AU, she was the first person that came to his mind when he was asked about his family.

Not only that, I think he generally likes Hange as a person because she saw him for who he truly was. Like, remember their first meeting, Hange was the only one who was willing to approach Levi (while everyone was sceptical of him) and she did it purely out of admiration. She genuinely was impressed by him and wanted to get to know him better. A gesture that might be alien to Levi, which explains why he was unsure at first about Hange, but it seemed after many missions together, Hange was eventually able to earn his trust. Hange became a person who could freely tease him (him being a clean freak + their poop jokes) as well as became a walking dictionary for him (the way she translates Levi's words to Eren).

On the other hand, contrary to Levi, I noticed that Hange tend to be more neutral with Levi. I’m not saying that Hange did not care for him. I mean, when she found his injured body, she became so protective of him that she willingly risked her life by jumping into the lake so she could save him.

There was also this one scene of her trying to comfort him when he learned that titans was actually a human. Moreover, she also considered him to be her closest friend in the Survey Corps.

I believe she rarely showed her caring side to him because she knew that he is a capable fellow, and so she didn’t think he needed her help in particular. I don't think she had ever think that this man, the strongest man in the world, would ever sustain a horrible injury or even die. Sadly, she thought wrong. When she found his injured and dying body (chapter 115), Hange had to face a horrible realisation that she could actually lose him.

Then, in chapter 126, we finally saw Hange taking care of Levi. She killed two soldiers to protect them. She also tended and healed his injury with so much care. In my opinion, being confronted by the mortality of the only person that she had left in the world, Hange most likely learned—the hard way—about how important Levi had actually become to her. Thus she was willing to do anything for him.

When this realisation mixed with her exhaustion from the war, she finally reached her breaking point. With no one but an unconscious Levi by her side, the passionate-happy-go-lucky researcher and the ever-so-composed commander of the Survey Corps found herself gradually letting down her guard to show her weakness, her feelings. In her vulnerability, she weakly expressed how she would rather live with him in the woods, away from the chaos outside. Like, can you believe this Hange, who always fought for humanity’s sake said, “Humanity be damned, I would rather spend the time I have left with you.” 

I think this explains why her confession in chapter 126 caught us (the fandom) off guard, because not only it was out of character for her, but also for the first time, she showed her feelings to Levi.

Later we know that Levi heard about her “confession” but since he also knew that Hange would never ever run away, he instead encouraged her to do the things that she believed in, and that was to stop Eren from committing genocide. However, I think her words had never left him, even after they left the woods. Because as you can see in chapter 132, he somehow made a seemingly random remark to her about how her feelings are not always unrequited. As if he knew which feelings of her that is requited. 

Consequently, we finally came to the big question. We see in chapter 132 that before Hange embarked on her suicide mission, Levi did something that was so out of character for him. He touched her heart and said, “Dedicate your heart”.

Why did he do this?

To repeat my answer above, it’s most likely because he knew that it was exactly the things that she needed to hear the most. So he said it out of empathy. But isn’t it too short or even too formal for a goodbye between two close friends? Well, we have to take into consideration that Hange could read Levi like a book (remember their iconic telepathy?). She could easily translate his roundabout words and expressions, thus he didn’t need to write an essay for her. Which is why “dedicate your heart” was more than enough for both of them.

Moreover, I also infer that the reason why he never said “Dedicate your heart” while he was a soldier before was because he probably thought that he didn't necessarily have to give his heart to the corps and humanity. Again, he didn't have a grand reason to fight in the first place, and so he just wanted to do what he thought was good: to lend all his strength to help humanity. Therefore, by saying it for the first time in front of her, he seemingly wanted to show her how important and special she was to him. As if he was saying that he wants to dedicate himself only to her.

Hence, his gesture and words to Hange combined with all the preceding events (especially events in chapters 126 and 132), I could say that behind those three words, he was actually telling her: “Hey, the things you said in the woods, it was not unrequited. I actually feel the same way as you. I want to live with you as well, which is why I don't want you to go. However, I know I can't stop you because you’ve dedicated your heart to the freedom of humanity. So, I’ll let you go, but before you go I want you to know that you’re the only person I’m dedicating my heart to. My heart is yours.”

I'm not Hange so I don't think my translation is accurate HAHA but that's how I see it.

In conclusion, Levi had only ever said Dedicate your heart to Hange because: 1) he knew it would make her feel better/happy and special; and 2) it was also his answer to her soliloquy in the woods (it was his way of telling her that they share mutual feelings).

-----

So yeah, that’s my opinion. I hope I was able to express myself clearly :D

Also, I can't believe you are asking me this, anon. No one ever asked me about my opinion before. Usually, people come for me for my silly fanfic(s) xD 

ANYWAY, your question is very much appreciated! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to share my thoughts regarding Levi, especially his relationship with Hange. This was fun to write (and research!), I really enjoyed the process!

Although it was a bit painful too tbh because I had to reopen my old wound by rereading chapters 126 and 132 :') You did it anon, you made me cry... at 12.30 AM T_T)b

[camelspit]

Biana, purple?

this is actually part of a larger wip but 👍 havent posted art in a few days so 👍 have the biana

@skylilac @gatekeeper-of-the-lost-cities @arson-anarchy-death @steal-nightmares-leave-dreams @abubble125 @purplesoup-lad-le @gay-otlc @thefoxysnake @keeper-of-the-lost-dadwin @aesthetic-screeching @kamikothe1and0lny @you-have-been-frizzled @presidentroarie @cowboypossume @even-if-in-another-time @that-glasses-dog @nyxpixels @sofia-not-sophie @slozhnos @treehouse-arson @lemon-girl-in-devil-town @three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat @purpleunicycle @raeny-nights-and-faery-lights

[kimbapisnotsushi]

you seem to have a good read on HQ and your takes are great, so i have a question...and if you'd rather not go there, please ignore this! but i see oikawa get called "arrogant" quite often and i'm curious, would you say he is? what is it that makes people think that? imo he has a plenty of flaws, but i truly don't think arrogance is one of them. self-centered, sure, but not arrogant i think. i'm open to being wrong, i'm just legit so confused by that particular criticism, it makes me doubting my reading comprehension. i feel like that one post that's like "free my man, he didn't do that. he did a lot of other stuff tho" LOL. if you do answer this, then thanks for your time!

oh, dear anon. this is a very very big question and i'm honored you think i am capable of providing an answer that does it justice!! i don't consider myself an oikawa expert by far, but i'll do my best because he's still very beloved to me, and i hope whatever i say helps!

(but also - maybe take what i say with a grain of salt LMAO)

anyways, to get the main point out of the way: i completely agree that oikawa isn't arrogant! i actually haven't seen any commentary about that myself (bless!!!), so i can't say for sure why some people might think that, but my guess is that they think his pridefulness = arrogance — they think that the confidence he has in himself and seijoh contributes nothing to their actual power and is utterly meaningless if they don't win, especially in the face of ushijima. which, like, come on. what kind of captain would he be if he wasn't confident in himself and his teammates? is he supposed to tell them that they're going to lose??? is he supposed to discourage their hard work and effort???

or maybe it's because oikawa acts like he's all that, but doesn't have anything to show for it. who does he think he is? what does he think his pride is worth? what right does he have to go around making grand declarations when he has nothing to his name?

(which isn't entirely true, either, but we'll get into that, promise.)

now, do i think that he can, occasionally, be flippant, shallow, and/or petty? yeah, sure. he's got one hell of a personality about it. even iwaizumi says as much. oikawa is great at being a little shit. it's one of my favorite things about him!

but is oikawa genuinely arrogant, or self-centered? well . . . i don't think so.

see, here's the thing about oikawa: he knows he's good, but he doesn't think he's good enough. i think it'd be easiest to really explain what that meant if we broke this down into two separate parts, so let's give it a go, shall we?

(buckle up, friends, because it's about to get LONG. also: TIMESKIP SPOILERS!! and there's a tldr at the start of the tags because. WOW.)

so, first things first: if people are calling oikawa arrogant, then i'm like 99% sure that they don't actually know what the word "arrogant" means.

"arrogant" is used to describe someone full of themselves. it's used to describe someone conceited and pompous. it's used to describe someone so assured of and invested in their self-importance that they don't care for other people, and if it seems like they do, then it's usually wildly off the mark and still serves to inflate their own egos.

oikawa has never once been like that. he's been pretty much the exact opposite, in fact.

and yeah, sure, by his third year of high school, he knows he's good at volleyball, and that's fine! it's perfectly all right to claim you're good at something if you have the skills/experience to back it up. confidence is healthy as long as it isn't in overabundance, and we actually see a lot of this throughout the series!

(not to mention that this was where ushijima fell short. he was overflowing with confidence. he did not believe, for even a single second, that hinata shouyou and his meager, scrappy little flock of crows could beat him.

but oikawa? he knew. he knew what it looked like to make something bloom.)

the key to oikawa's confidence that made him better was that he could pinpoint others' strengths and weaknesses just as well as he could with his own. and (bear with me, please, i might get kind of boring here bc it's nothing that hasn't been said in the manga before) i don't mean it in the way we see the coaches or more analytical players do, as observations to be taken advantage of by everyone else; i mean that in the sense of how vital it is to his position as a setter. that was always the biggest difference between oikawa and kageyama: no matter how much more raw talent kageyama had, no matter how much better oikawa believed him to be, kageyama, especially in the beginning, struggled to do what oikawa could with a team. kageyama struggled to bring out the best in each player. and it wasn't because he didn't know how -- oikawa freely admitted that kageyama had the skill for it, that kageyama, once he got his shit together, could win against him -- it was because kageyama didn't have that same confidence in himself.

(not until much later, anyways. but that's another story, for another time.)

so, oikawa's confident. he knows he's good. he can bring out the best in each player. he's got a killer serve (and a killer smile!), a mind for tactics that borders on machievallianism, and cherishes the trust he is given like it's something precious. his coaches let him lead without leaning on them. his team has the utmost respect and admiration for him. he has a reputation. from karasuno to shiratorizawa to the whole of miyagi -- there is not a single character who knows oikawa tooru and would believe that he is, in any way, bad at volleyball.

but it's not enough. despite all of that, oikawa still doesn't think he's good enough. and that, friends, brings us to the second point.

oikawa tooru is nothing if not passionate.

so were the others, of course. kageyama kept going after his grandfather's death. hinata kept going while being a nobody from nowhere with no one to back him up. atsumu kept going while osamu didn't. it's not even about just those who went pro -- kenma, kuroo, noya, and everyone else found things that they were passionate about and kept going with it. the entire story revolves around loving what you do and trying to keep that love alive, and, sometimes, that can be really, really difficult when it seems like it doesn't love you back.

oikawa was so insecure over kageyama to the point where he nearly decked the poor kid. oikawa got crushed by ushijima-- who kept telling him that his team was not good enough, that his choices were not good enough, that there was nothing good enough to be proud of -- for years in a row. oikawa was taught that there would always be someone better than him no matter how skilled he was, but if he let that stop him then he didn't fucking belong on the court in the first place.

oikawa tooru is intimately acquainted with not being good enough, but he keeps trying to be. he keeps going. he tries to keep the love alive even if he's not loved back. he pushes and practices and takes a plane far from home to become even better. even if he doesn't have the skill, even if he doesn't have the talent, even if he doesn't have the love -- he still has his pride. and what does that mean, in the end? how far does that take him?

in the end, oikawa tooru walks across a world stage and sees people who believed in him on the other side and calls it a family reunion. in the end, he gets to play the volleyball that reminds him of why he loves it and how it gives him so much love back. in the end, his pride is unyielding and unbreakable, a product of the forge. he molded it with his own two hands. he will not let it falter so easily.

arrogance would not have taken oikawa tooru this far. i hope this has proven that he is anything but.

remember: instinct is something you polish. talent is something you make bloom. and never, ever let anyone else tell you what your pride is worth.

[teddybeartoji]

hey *sexily*

DANIDANI OHMY GOD IT'S DANI IT'D DANI OH MY GOD IT'S DANIIIII:33333333333 HI ANGEL HI MY LOVE!!!!!!!!! WAHHHH I'VE MISSED YOU SM WE HAVE TO MAKE OUT NOW!!!!!!!!! ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rouge-fauna]

I think you’re talking about these posts [here & here], I don’t know if there have been others.

I'm not gonna say what I did was right, you are correct I should probably just not respond to asks getting me to talk about other people. I will say for these two posts those people had already blocked me I’m pretty sure, so it’s kinda hard to talk directly to them in that case. And I was not doing so anonymously and had not blocked them so I wasn’t hiding what I was saying. I did not follow them, I am not part of the innitor community, and not that that makes it right but I do think it is kinda different. Though you make a good point, perhaps we should stop this pattern of responding to asks about other blogs and such.

Still, the biggest thing to me I realized, back in elementary school when I first dealt with this, was that honestly all the time we talk about people behind their back. Talking about people when they aren’t always in the room is kinda just inevitable and part of socializing, however I think the important part is how you are talking about other people. It’s when you are insulting them, talking negatively about them to people they know, spreading false information and so on that it becomes not okay. Hopefully that makes sense.

In these cases I merely focused on the lore. I didn’t insult them or talk shit about them, as a person, as a blog or say their takes were stupid or they are stupid or speculate about their trauma or mental history. I just talked about reasons why I disagreed, or saw things differently and why we might see things differently. They were also not the only ones I saw to say similar things so I think in my mind I was making more of a general discussion, not trying to target them specifically. I didn’t post beyond that about them. But you are right, regardless it was probably not the right way to go about things.

But just to be clear, if I am a hypocrite it is not my intention. I haven’t vague blogged anyone or meant to vague reblog anyone. I think this week is pretty much the first time I’ve ever been not naming, passive aggressively talking about blogs, and even then I’m not trying to insult them, trying to cancel them. I’m just expressing that before you go off about how I’m stupid and unable to have a discussion about it, the very least you could’ve done was give me an opportunity to try.