#this is why i fucking love liminal spaces

[witchofthesouls]

It's tiny writing, so it's from Walk With Me Tim on YouTube. My friend in rl absolutely loves this guy since he does a lot of in-depth reviews of a variety of travel spots and transport: hotels, trains, buses, airplanes, cruises, hot spots, and strange ones across the world -luxury, budget, gimmicky, and absolutely bizarre sites. He got something.

My guilty pleasure right now is watching luxury hotel reviews and I found this british guy who keeps accidentally clipping into the backrooms.

He's unintentionally making the best liminal horror content on youtube

[nevermindigotthis]

So my city has a University Hospital. It is an incredibly industrial looking building, from the outside it‘s all concrete and steel, huge pipes running around it and rust coloured metal railings before floor length weathered looking windows. It looks like a factory or some big industrial complex.

From the inside… well first of all the carpets are glaringly green. It‘s build in this 70ies style with striped green carpets, green, orange and yellow accent doors and wall panels. It has low ceilings, like 2.3 meters but the lights hang on metal pipes at like 2.1 m high max. It is such a mindfuck to walk through this building, it has a weirdly comforting 70ies vibe, but also the repeating corridors all look the same, the building is gigantic, there’s several inside courtyards that are also all the same, there‘s people everywhere but all of them are always going somewhere. It‘s such a liminal feeling to walk around in this hospital and so easy to get lost.

Anyways, If I was a game dev, I would make a back rooms style horror game set in this hospital. Imagine: You come to the hospital to visit a relative. When you enter, the hospital is like it normally is: 70ies look, people, doctors, nurses, maintenance workers… You find your way to your relative‘s room (already kind of challenging), NPCs help you find your way when you get lost and there’s signage. Then you meet with your loved one and something strange happens while the doctor is talking to you both. The light flickers, you seemingly black out for a moment and get called back by your loved one. You open your eyes and the doctor is gone, your loved one is asleep on the bed. You go to take a walk, get some food, find the doctor. Everything seems normal, but the corridors go on and on. You can‘t quite remember the way back to the cafeteria, and somehow there‘s no signs. You decide to follow the signs to the exit instead, but they keep leading you back to your loved one‘s room. The hallways are weirdly empty and when you knock on a random door to find help you only hear the beeping of medical machines.

Cue a game that‘s full of „not quite right“ things, the signage has letters changed, three right turns no longer lead to the same spot, the elevator goes up 6 floors, but once you‘re up there it only goes down 2, you explore the never ending corridors and find supplies in laboratories, you enter lecture halls, operating rooms, offices, maintenance rooms, patient rooms, …. All to find your way out of the hospital eventually and back to your loved one.

The hospital in question:

(Believe me, it‘s way more claustrophobic and disorienting in person)

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | January 20th-26th 2025

On time this week, woohoo! And less thsan 40 days until season 8B !!

Special mention to all of @tizniz's drabbles that I've been reblogging, which you can find on her tumblr or on ao3 at E & E: A Buddie Drabble Collection !

Let me know if I'm missing a tag for someone!

Complete

home is where you've called my name by atlasblue85/ @atlasblue85 (Post-S8E8: Wannabes | 3K | General): Buck plays a game with himself. It goes something like this: for every house Eddie outright rejects, he adds an item to his list of why Eddie shouldn't move to El Paso. He doesn't know what the threshold is, that magic number that will make him finally speak up and express his thoughts to Eddie, but until he finds it, this is how he's coping. They're up to nine so far. Nine perfectly good houses, nine reasons Eddie shouldn't go.

you're a dog (i'm your man) by withmeornotatall / @chronicowboy (Dog Shelter AU | 3K | General): "Hey." He turns around, leans against the doorframe, tries to look casual. "Maybe, only if you're free of course, you could come round and let Chris pick out a band aid for you tonight. Don't want you bleeding out before you can get your Spider-Man band aid." Buck lights up like the fucking sun. Oh no. Eddie has one rule: never take a dog home. But he thinks Buck might be worth the risk. (OR: eddie is a dog trainer with patience, buck is a shelter worker with more bark than bite)

🔥 My Mouth Don't Move When I'm In Too Deep by taegyungie (PWP, Semi-Public Sex | 7K | Explicit): But here’s the thing: Eddie’s taken giant mouthfuls of life and chewed every last one of them up. He’s taken enough, he’s still taking enough - he doesn’t want to be the one to ask for it. All he can do is offer himself up, over and over, and hope that Buck will finally get the hint and dig his claws into what’s been his from the very start.

🔥 Five Years by aubrey_writes (Blip AU | 8K | Mature): Buck gets blipped. Eddie's left behind. A love story told through what Eddie did in his absence.

Liminal Space by ameliahart (NDE, Getting Together | 8K | Teen): Eddie Diaz dies on a sunny afternoon in January. It seems fitting, he thinks, that it should happen like this: trapped beneath three floors of a collapsed apartment building, a piece of rebar through his right lung, and his eyes on the love of his life. Because of course Buck is here with him, watching horrified as Eddie’s love and life bleed out around him.

Buck, Bedbugged and Bewildered by writedontfight (Post-S8A AU | 8K | Explicit): Buck gets bedbugs, so he's staying at Eddie's until they're gone.

🔥 everything you need (put all you need in me) by jaekyu (PWP, FWB | 9K | Explicit): Eddie imagines it. The faux-domesticity of grocery shopping with his best friend and full-time fuckbuddy, filled up with come like a jam donut or something. It would be kind of ironic. It would be definitely, wholeheartedly, totally erotic.

My boy only breaks his favorite toys by paleredheadinascifi (Amnesia, Post-S8A | 10K | Teen): Eddie wakes up five years in the future. It turns out five years is all it takes to ruin a friendship and run your life into the ground. Or, Eddie gets hurt and his apparently now ex-best friend Buck hops on a plane to El Paso. They figure out what the fuck happened together.

🔥 Firelight by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Post-S7, Monster Eddie, HOH Buck | 61K | Explicit): When, in the worst of missing Christopher, Eddie suddenly finds himself having literally turned into a monster, Buck - who is also dealing with a newfound hearing loss diagnosis - is willing to do anything to protect him. Even from himself. OR: Eddie is a creature from Swedish folklore, feat. HOH!Buck

WIP

Kiss Me Once Cause You Know I Had A Long Night by I_still_dont_understand_13 / @sherlockcrossing (Prompt collection | 35/? | 23K | Teen): 100 kiss prompts.

35. 44. A goodbye kiss, but neither of you can quite let go 

🔥 An Angry Blade by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-8x05: Masks, Cursed Buck | 1/6 | 8K | Mature): Buck finds out that the curse of Billy Boils is VERY real, and far more complicated and dangerous than he could have expected.

🔥 Gentle On My Mind by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, Shannon Lives, Buck/Eddie/Shannon | 12/? | 76K | Explicit): In which Shannon lives, tells a lie, and sends hers, Eddie's, and Buck's lives down a very different path.

🔥 Doe & a Drop of Golden Sun by ohstars/ @oh-stars (Canon Divergent, Dad Buck | 8/? | 37K | Teen): Buck doesn't mean to keep secrets from everyone, but he also can't talk about the pain he experiences on a day to day basis. With his nine-year-old living across the country and his custody limited to one monthly visit, Buck doesn't know how to share this part of himself. How does he tell his team of six years that he's had a kid this whole time? How does he tell his sister? How does he tell his Edd-- best friend? It's fine. The universe isn't going to give him a choice in the matter when the worst thing imaginable becomes his reality.

Podfic

Sunlight is Fire (Burning is a Matter of Degrees) by Favourite_alias // fic by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Incubbi Buck, FWB | 1-1.5h | Explicit): In the wake of Buck's leg injury, Eddie learns that his friend needs some unusual methods to help him recover. Eddie's willing to do whatever it takes to help Buck, and it's not like this could make his quiet pining any worse, right?

Bed Sharing Concerto in Monsterfucking No. 3 by Favourite_alias // fic by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Werewolf Eddie, Human Buck, Only One Bed | 10-20min | Explicit): Buck has the worst fucking luck. His only consolation here is that Eddie’s with him, so at least he’s not alone in a cabin with no Wifi, no central heat, no cell service, and no proper winter gear. The water works, the pipes haven’t frozen (yet) so at least he can get briefly clean. He’s so focused on scrubbing the day away that it’s not until he gets out and heads into the bedroom that he realizes— There’s only one bed.

A Chorus of Howls by Favourite_alias // fic by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Werewolves, PWP | 10-20min | Explicit): Buck is running through the woods. He’s on two feet, four, two again, dodging around trees, kicking up dirt, leaping and landing hard. Behind him, sometimes, he thinks he can hear another set of feet—a glimpse out of the corner of his eye, black on black, shadow on shadow— There. There. He can smell his pursuer’s blood and he runs faster, fast as he can. He’s not going to lose. His blood is up and running and so is he.

Duet for Two Monsters by Favourite_alias // fic by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Werewolf Eddie, Succubus Buck | 20-30min | Explicit): Buck’s been meaning to tell Eddie for a while, now. Especially now that they’re both single again. He needs to tell Eddie, because he’s pretty sure—he thinks he’s sure—that Eddie loves him back. And he won’t be intimate with Eddie without telling him. Of course, it’s a bit hard to start that conversation, on a logistical level. Hey so I have horns and a tail and feed off people’s orgasms, fun, right?

🔥 [Podfic] Buddie, It's Cold Outside by diazaster287 // fic by terranobis (Christmas, Hallmark AU | 1-1.5h | Not Rated): Big City businessman Evan Buckley travels to a small town Christmas Village in an attempt to save his personal and professional life, but when he meets the local father Eddie Diaz, he finds that he just might get the greatest present he could ever ask for.

[batbirdies]

What are your top fanfic recs for 2024?

aha!! I am late answering this as usual but I went through all of my bookmarks made in 2024 to pick out my favs and I saved the links in an email draft and then when I went to make this post it was poofed gone so then I abandoned the idea but am back, recollecting links here and half rereading them as I go lol.

So these are some of my particular fav fics read and bookmarked in 2024, not necessarily that were published in 2024. (Though I think most of them were)

Also I don’t know if most of these authors have Tumblrs or what their handles are if they do, so if you recognize one and know it please tag them! Or let me know and I’ll edit in the tag.

So:

Ground Control to Jason Todd by TheThoughtsThief [22,520 words]

Jason died at fifteen years old. He recalled a light, searing and white against the expance of a black sky and the nothingness of space. He recalled a star, speaking to him with a morose calm. Then, finally, he remembered the universe giving him a second chance at life. A few years down the line, he goes chasing after myths to figure out why.

Or, a Dick and Jason space road trip au featuring Japanese death poems, Shakespearean tragedies, and Abba's greatest hits.

My first bookmark of 2024! This fic is super unique. I’m not usually big on AUs but road trips are my jam so I gave this one a shot and the ~vibes~ are impeccable. It’s soft and flowy and the recurring poetry and the relationship between Dick and Jason and the willowy liminal space experiences… so good.

Hope is the Thing with Feathers by TheSilencer [13,106 words]

"Oh." Nightwing said. "It's your first time."

"My what?" Jason said.

"It's like 'The Time Traveler's Wife.' Except I'm not your wife. Not that I'd be a bad wife, but not for you. That'd be gross - Wait, is that movie even out, yet?" Nightwing rambled, and Jason stood up on wobbly legs. "Shoot. I guess it doesn't matter. Not relevant -"

Or Jason Todd is a time traveler, and Dick Grayson is always his destination. 

A story about brothers doing their best.

Basically what it says in the description. Jason randomly moves through time throughout his life, always landing where Dick Grayson is. sometimes Jason needs Dick, and sometimes Dick needs Jason, and neither of them ever really has the full picture of what’s going on. But they do their best for each other<3 they’re brothers your honor 😭😭

Still hurts underneath my scars by valkyriered [2,928 words]

“Stop.” The man in the purple suit says, and Jason freezes.

“Stay there.” He says. “Don’t move.”

Jason tries to lurch forward, has some half-prepared snark about being told what to do, and he finds that he can’t. He can’t even move his arms. His eyes dart around the empty warehouse. Fuck. “Who are you?” Jason demands. “What is this?”

The man doesn’t even look over at him. “Stop talking.” 

I’ll warn, this fic says “no archive warnings apply” but there is heavy implication of previous sexual assault. No direct references but it’s definitely there.

The use of Killgrave in this is stellar, I still find him one of the most terrifying villains I’ve ever watched or read about in anything I’ve seen. The moment is small and doesn’t even seem that bad on the surface but the writing puts you in Jason’s head and you can feel how frightening it would be, and how scared Jason really, really is. Has made me think about using Killgrave in a fic sometimes cause it truly has some juicy potential.

There is comfort, and Selina is great in this, but it is from Jason’s POV and he is still pretty Not OkayTM when it ends, so just, you know, be careful with yourselves. It’s very well written and Jason is well taken care of by his loved ones in the end but it’s a hurty one.

Displacement by @imbecamiel [21,244 words]

“He’s dead,” Tim said, blankly.

“Look at me.” Jason ducked his head to catch Tim’s eyes. “Hey, look at me. You didn’t kill him. You just shot him. No big deal, right? You’ve injured lots of people. Just part of the job. Doesn’t matter it was with a gun this time. Doesn’t change anything. I’m the one who killed him. You’re fine.”

Loooove this fic. Tim accidentally fatally shoots someone in self defense. Jason is there, sees Tim panicking, and finishes the job himself so he can take the blame.

The relationships in this fic are so good, and the CHARACTERS are just SO GOOD. I started to say a lot more but then I just started summarizing the whole thing and spoiling it. Just know that Jason and Tim’s interactions in this are great, and Bruce and Jason have SUCH a good and satisfying end to their arch in this, which is so important to me and can be hard to find.

A Sad Song With Nothing To Say by WakingNightmares [14,805 words]

It starts with the Make A Wish foundation, and ends with a funeral.

Which, Bruce supposes, is unfortunately how things involving the Make A Wish foundation usually work. But what happens in-between catches him completely off-guard.

Ok, know first that this fic isn’t really my usual fair because it’s heavy on the hurt and light on the comfort. Be prepared if you decide to read this one.

A young gotham boy dying of cancer uses his Make A Wish Foundation wish to meet The Red Hood, more as a joke than anything, not expecting it to actually happen. The boy has no one else, he’s dying alone and in pain, and Jason can’t do anything about the pain but he can keep him from being alone. So he stays with the kid, whenever he can, and soon the other bats start helping, so he’s not by himself. But Jason grows attached, and Bruce knows, they all know that it is not going to end well. That the devastation this is going to wreak on Jason will be no small thing. But no one really has the heart to do anything but help.

Like I said this fic is damn well agonizing but it hit me in such a cathartic way. Because it’s devastating. The story is so painful, but everyone is helping. Everyone is there. There is so much love in this fic and as much comfort as can be offered even if it is not nearly enough. And when it ends—Bruce is there.

Open Line by @lurkinglurkerwholurks [2,140 words]

Dick pinched the phone between his ear and shoulder as he pulled the crate down from the top shelf. The line rang twice before connecting.

“Hey, you busy?” Dick stepped down from the stool and carried the crate to the table, popping the top and flipping it off to the side to reach inside.

“Everything okay?” Bruce asked. His voice sounded close, like he was in a small space.

Dick is dealing with some unexpected grief and Bruce is a good dad. That’s all you need sometimes, you know?

Eat Your Heart Out by Lishalalalala [35,527 words]

What people don’t expect of Bruce Wayne is his ability to love in such a detailed way. What people absolutely expect of Jason Todd is his ability to show up at the worst place, at the worst time, every damn time. But not all late-night calls from the hospital are bad, not all galas are bad, and not all of Bruce's culinary attempts are bad. Featuring food; Jason's self-esteem issues, his complicated relationship with food; and the different ways confidence can be filled. Also featuring one Bruce Wayne trying his best.

(Endeavoring to grow up shouldn’t have been this hard considering it’s the second round for him. )

A story of Bruce and Jason revolving around each other, pinging off in different directions when things don’t go well. Of love shown through food. Of Jason’s skittish and slow acceptance of that love.

Each chapter is its own scene, little time skips between, building on each other to craft a very soft picture. This fic makes me ache in such a way. It’s poetic, it manages to make sweet, nostalgic moments stab you in the heart. Very recently completed, and I still need to leave a comment on the final chapter, whoops.

Also gives a well thought out and reasonable explanation for Bruce’s poor cooking skills lol.

Thats all from 2024, but im gonna cheat and also add one from this month cause I read it yesterday and have been gushing about it since and there’s so little Steph and Bruce fic out in the world, it needs more love.

If they could only remember/which one is you and which one/the source of all fire by @luvo27 [9,086 words]

When she’s not with him on patrol, he knows she’s often patrolling on her own. When she’s not patrolling on her own, he knows she’s wandering around Gotham. She doesn’t spend a lot of time at home, not even after her father died. She seems, Bruce thinks, like she’s lonely. He clears his throat. Stephanie looks up from her phone. Bruce can read the screen upside down, she’s still looking up solar eclipses. An idea starts to form in his mind. He starts to ask, “Do you…would you—the path of totality crosses over Vermont. Or the state of New York.” “Yeah,” Stephanie turns her phone to face him. “I was looking at the maps.” “That’s a little over seven hours away by car,” Bruce says.

Or: Stephanie and Bruce take a road trip to see the solar eclipse, featuring: Stephanie Brown and her Stephanie Brown-ness, Bruce Wayne and his Bruce-ness, and grief.

Bruce’s POV throughout. Stephanie is Robin, Jason is dead, and Bruce can see so much of Jason in Stephanie that he can barely look at her. But even in his grief he can’t stop caring, can’t stop wanting to help her. Can’t stop being terrified that she will meet the same end that Jason did.

Bruce is messy and he’s not doing amazing but he’s trying very hard. Stephanie is also messy and not doing amazing, but she is trying very hard. Has a soft ending but deals pretty heavily with grief, so be aware.

Hope you enjoy these!!

[axuanmii]

the struggles of kaeluc is that its actually one hundred percent completely fucking fine (and if you read any danmei it makes a lot of sense why, like not even in a incest fetish sense just. genuine love.) but nobody will listen to you because they lack media literacy and choose to attack and block you and call you a freak for liking it instead of like, accepting that maybe the english version of genshin is not perfect and doesn't convey the complexity of some characters' relationships that well than it does in chinese.

like this reddit post sums it up better than i ever could and i go insane every day knowing that people can't publicly like kaeluc in western online spaces without being ostracized and blocked by other people in fandom. and all of it comes from a side-along misunderstanding.

now genshin's not done and they could totally either make kaeluc get married or cut it all out by straight up having them call each other brothers in the future but for now. in this liminal space. i will exist sadly.

idk, i find it very annoying to see people shit on kaeluc/luckae. tumblr is okay though i think.

addendum

[localplaguenurse]

I am so in fucking love with the stairway to heaven animation and the only ways I can express that is to either say I am bricked the FUCK up, or I give in to the uber instincts of my uber autism and write an essay on what I THINK are some of the references/inspirations used in the animation. I chose the essay because I need people to know why I am "bricked up."

I am fully willing to accept if I am wrong/reaching for some of these but even then, I think it's cool that I can still connect certain moments with things I enjoy. With that out of the way, behold my analysis/breakdown of Stairway to Heaven!

Spoilers below the cut not just for the animation, but also minor spoilers for Kane Pixel's backrooms series, Liminal Land, Skinamarink, and Mandela Catalogue. Also just a warning for the incoherent ramblings of a guy who's abnormal about analog/indie horror. Please please please please PLEASE go watch the animation if you haven't.

First, "subject 087" is in reference to SCP-087, the never ending staircase SCP. I actually didn't even catch that the first time until I scrolled down to the comments lmao. In my defense, when SCP was blowing up in the mid 2010s I wasn't really old enough to appreciate it or find the format interesting (and honestly it is still hard for me to really get into it, but that's more of a me thing. Conceptually a clinical approach to horror like with SCPs or in All Tomorrows is fascinating, but it can be a bit of a slog for me), so I only knew the main three's numbers. (173, 096, and 682).

"Motion detected" has been used in just about every analog horror series now, but Mandela Catalogue is probably the main series that popularized the trope when analog horror first started getting popular.

The backrooms is, obviously, the backrooms. You can probably assume it's Kane Pixels' backrooms because his version really blew up but it feels more like early days backrooms before we got all those monsters and almond water stuff. (Which btw it's so funny we got "almond water" from whoever the first person to say the air smells like almonds was. For reference, almonds smell like cyanide. OP was trying to say the air smells toxic, not that almonds are the safest thing to consume in the backrooms.)

This shot just reminded me of The Oldest View, ALSO from Kane Pixels. Tbh that's probably just me but I thought it was neat.

Next up, the door. Aside from the obvious 333 angel numbers which also appear very prominently in Mandela Catalogue (this series is going to pop up a lot, I'm sorry), but for some reason it reminded me of the Silent Hill 4 door. Again, that's just the tism probably.

Skinamarink ahh shot, was honestly expecting the door to just poof, disappear.

Next, the shot with all the houses. While KP's Backrooms do have that creepy neighbourhood, this exact shot and set up feels closer to H.O.M.E. from Liminal Land.

And then our most darling biblically accurate horror icon Columbina would make False Gabriel proud, and just... she is so fucking cool and creepy in this and I love her so much.

This whole sequence was for one absolutely horrifying and beautiful, but what caught MY attention were the settings and locations shown. These are standard creepy liminal spaces and analog horror gore censorship, yes, but they also reminded me of the locations Trevor Henderson uses in his art pieces, so suffice to say I think Columbina looks RIGHT AT HOME regardless of how you wanna look at these shots. And the animation on her face opening up into wings and eyes is just an absolute chef's kiss moment. Props to the animators, man.

This trope, the whole main character monologue overlaying the screen moment, very common in analog horror but for me, again popularized by its use in the Mandela Catalogue.

The smudged picture is a reference to one of the ending shots in Skinamarink, where it pans over the childhood photos only for their heads and faces to now be missing, which most agree is the movie's way of saying these kids were trapped her for so long they eventually just stopped existing/faded into nothingness.

And finally, the classic ending scene of KP's first Backrooms video.

I know for a fact there are probably other references to liminal spaces/analog horror that I either missed or they're like general concepts/tropes used in analog horror. I did almost mention the mill in petscop because of Columbina's "two in the mill, one taken, one left" because that phrasing felt really specific, but it doesn't quite fit the vibes of all the other references. Also her only being seen in the camera is a trope used in all manner of horror media. My first thought was the forest scene in VHS (2012) where the murderer could only be seen in the film static.

I just wanted to get the especially cool/unique moments out there. I didn't even touch on the storyline but that's because it seems pretty straightforward. I'm also aware not many people are gonna read my red string corkboard ramblings, which I'm fine with. I just needed to get this out of my system, but I do appreciate those who did take the time to indulge my ramblings!

That's all for now, back to whatever the hell I had planned for today.

[harlotofupdog]

This was meant to be a groveling apology post but it turned into a rage meta post.

I have so many fics that I want to read or finish reading from writers whose work I truly adore, and so much art that I want to stare at and squeal about, and I just haven't got to it. There are fics that I am so in love with and I just… I can't open AO3 until I can just sit, y'know?

I know that literally no-one is counting on me for this stuff because I am a tiny wonker, but I feel perpetually awful about it nonetheless. I also have a bunch of fic stuff (writing and beta) that I never get to, and I'm now at the point where I'm so overwhelmed by all the things I need to do that I'm paralysed by procrastination. There's probably a few topsy-turvy chonkadonks of recent news that haven't helped, but the main thing is…

FUCKING HOTEL ROOMS.

I spend so much time in hotel rooms. I used to love hotel rooms. It felt like a little treat every time I stayed in a nice one. Bright white sheets, little sachets of tea and shitty instant coffee, minibars, dressing gowns, inconvenient power outlets, unflattering mirrors - I loved it all. But now I fucking dread them. They are my ultimate (bad) liminal spaces - just fancy transit points between the airport or the train station or the closest fucking McDonald's where I can eat a zillion nuggets until I feel better.

I've tried to be productive in hotel rooms, I really have. I bring my laptop, I bring my sketchpad. Sometimes I have a couple of free hours in the evening, and god, why don't I use them? Instead, I sit and think and scroll while I drink all the shitty tea and shitty coffee and sometimes an entire bottle of red or whatever tiny booze they have in the minibar.

It occurs to me, after 6000 years of fucking hotel rooms, that they are… Heaven. They are, right? Crisp, light, bright, stifling. There's the concierge in their nice suit, the fancy faux marble foyer, elevators that sneak up from behind and then DING as if you're the arsehole for facing the other way, mirrors fucking EVERYWHERE jump-scaring you with your own face, the end of the toilet paper folded into a little triangle... (whose bum needs that? A tiny triangle before the rest of the paper? No-one's bum needs that!)

And Heaven is always watching, isn't it?

The binful of teabags, the crumpled up packets of crisps-for-dinner, the empty bottle of wine - they will all be SEEN, along with the sanitary bag and the snotty tissues and the laddered stockings that I've wrenched off in a rage because now I have to go buy more. (WHY DID HOTELS GET RID OF BIN BAGS?)

We haven't even made it to the mortifying ordeal of ordering room service as a solo business traveler. I order the club sandwich, because that is the first thing you should order in a hotel, always - this is a rule. I eat it, it's fine. Club sandwiches have probably hauled me back from the edge of madness/chicken nuggets at least four times now. The next night, though, I don't want a club sandwich. I want something else.

A pizza.

There is no option to order a half pizza, and if I order a whole pizza, I will eat the whole pizza. So I order a whole pizza, obviously. I eat the pizza, because of course I do - it's not great, but it's kinda okay and it's something to do because I can't do any of the other things like live or breathe or exist in regular human form.

But when the pizza is gone, I look at the empty tray sitting on the slimy glass-topped desk and the realisation hits: they will know I know they know that I sat on my pristine bed, shoving melted cheese and prosciutto into my mouth, probably in full view of some late night meeting in the next building over, while staring at a wall and fervently wishing I were elsewhere.

There is probably sauce on the sheets and a bit of rocket on the floor that I can't find, and the TV remote is greasy af. It's basically a murder scene and I will feel guilty for the next millennia and a bit.

In conclusion...

Heaven is a panopticon and so is the Hilton. But Azi showed up for it, and so will I. Hopefully we can all make it back to the comfy, dusty book-filled spaces for good one day.

[bisnes-socks]

i love kot kot. i've always loved kot kot. and i'm gonna tell you why.

i think it's a beautiful song, i think it's a banger, i think it's a nostalgic sound, and i think it's an incredibly sad song.

musically, i think kot kot sounds like a summer night in finland. the contrast between the melodic, soaring chorus and the darker, harder verses sounds like walking back and forth between the bright light midnight and the dark clubs or bars or restaurants or something. going from the first verse into the chorus again feels like stepping out from a dark venue and it's 2 am but the light outside is the same as it was when you went in hours ago. it's actually super eerie the way time doesn't seem to move at all during the height of summer in finland. it's a sort of a liminal space that can feel either like never ending horror or an addictive state of true living, depening on how you deal with endless light. 

this is a summer song to me.

i love love love the free flying chorus.

i love love love the old school sound of the verses.

the chorus is beautiful with it's long soaring vowels and lines. the verses are mega bangers that remind of early 2000's music. the echoes of like old school drum and bass, breakbeat etc. are super nostalgic to me and have sent me down the rabbit hole of music from my childhood multiple times since the song came out. and i personally love the contrasts and different sections in the song. i think they go together well, i don't think they clash.

i think jurek and allu have composed a clever song. and honestly allu deserves more recognition across the board i am sorry i've been slipping in that department.

now. to the sad part.

i always felt like the chorus was sort of... wistful and melancholic. but the album puts all of that in a different context. he's not just mr. lonely. he's fucking terrified of being alone. 

"pelottaa, ettei jatkopläänit ehkä osukkaa, kuumottaa tosissaan, osote ois saatava, poket tos jo hoputta siis vastatkaa nyt saatana" meaning "i'm scared that after party plans will fall through, seriously getting jittery about it, i need an address, bouncers are on my case, somebody pick up the phone" like with the context of the full album now, it's really painting a picture of someone who does not want to go home and face being alone with his thoughts.

i remember when the song came out and people had all sorts of headcanons and ideas as to why the second time round the voice on the phone is in english - things like maybe he's making an international call or something. well, the truth is that in finland, that message is always played in three languages: finnish, swedish and english. so why is it in english the second time? honestly in all seriousness i think it's just a little nod to his international fans or something, like i don't think there is a real story reason for it. but if there was.. well, if anything, to me it suggests that he must have stayed on the phone, listening through the whole litany: valitsemaanne numeroon ei juuri nyt saada yhteyttä, kontakt med numret ni har valt fås ej, the number you have dialed cannot be reached. to get to the english part he has already been told twice in two languages that there is no one there, nobody is picking up, but he's still there.

honestly this song more than anything feels like the true pair of autiomaa, because to me, this song is someone trying to avoid feeling exactly the way autiomaa describes. feeling empty, feeling nothing, feeling alone. he says as much: "tää klubi on yht tyhjä ku sen katsoja" meaning this club is as empty as he who is looking at it. he's empty and finding other people to party and hang out with is the only way out of feeling empty, the only way to distract himself from the fact that he is lost.

and so for skit and autiomaa to come right after this? he has reached a breaking point and realised he has to face the nothingness inside.

and again, like with takavoltti, i think this song represents that long standing finnish tradition of writing funny lyrics about difficult subjects. it's also very very typical in finnish culture to make songs that seem to be about drinking on the surface level but are actually not about that. this song builds a lot of very comedic images: him vibing to celine dion alone in a club and refusing to leave, fighting with bouncers etc. and then of course there is the whole chicken thing with kot kot kot. it's funny - except it's not funny at all.

but the thing is, it's okay to find things funny in the song. they both are and are not funny at the same time, because isn't that what life is. i don't think the intention of these songs is to make you feel one specific way, it's just a matter of perspective. and that can change from day to day. so i think it's okay if one day the song breaks your heart on behalf of the käärijä in the story of the song, and on another day you just want to belt out the chorus and dance through the verses. it's all okay, it's all good.

and that's pretty skilled song writing.

[pendragonsclotpole]

I need to preface this post with the fact that I’ve been aware of Supernatural for as long as I’ve known what the terms fanfiction and fandom mean. It’s one of those pop culture moments that’s existed on the periphery of my mind as something really beloved and bemoaned about by people on the internet, but it’s never been something I really cared about outside of some iconic memes.

For the past four days, I’ve been watching Supernatural non-stop in my free time. I think I sat through eight episodes straight on one of those days, and I just have to say, the show is phenomenal.

I don’t know where to start, I could make a dozen of these posts about various points throughout the first two seasons and it still wouldn’t be enough. I’ve now taken a break at episode one of season three, because now that it’s a weekday I have work and can’t dedicate the time I could on the weekend.

First, Jared Padalecki’s acting is so beautiful and poignant and emotional. He really makes Sam Winchester into the bleeding heart of the whole show, and the entire time he’s on screen I worry about Sam. His portrayal of Sam’s heartbreak and desperation at Dean’s impending death after the car crash, as well as Sam’s horror at the reveal of what John told Dean before dying held a tragic desperation and denial that really embodied what the character represented in the first two seasons. Even as a hunter and with his special abilities, Sam felt like a quasi self-insert for the audience. I don’t mean that in a bad or overly tropey way, but in the way that he felt robbed of a proper childhood in favor of his father’s crusade. Sam is the angry, indignant younger sibling who never bore the brunt of responsibility like the older sibling did and it shows. In some ways, it makes him more entitled—I don’t mean that Sam does not have the right to be angry with John Winchester. He does. Fuck John Winchester. I mean entitled in the unintentional, coincidental way that your little brother or sister always demands the things you never had or rebels against the authority of the parent without ever dealing with the consequences you did as the older sibling. It reveals the veneer of freedom he had and the protection he received by virtue of his place in the Winchester Family. For me, it made him unbearably real, and this feeling of realness was made worse by the genuine naivety and innocence he keeps even as he continually gets screwed over by the demons. There’s a steadfast belief in the goodness of others within Sam that often conflicts with the sense of goodness he believes he lacks.

Sam trusts so easily, but he understands people in ways that should be antithetical to his upbringing. It took me forever to reconcile why he seemed so familiar, until I realized that Sam Winchester, for all that he was one of John Winchester’s son, had received the unconditional love of an older sibling for his entire childhood.

I don’t mean the perfect, kind, healthy love that often exists between fictional siblings. Too often I’ve watched media that makes me wonder how siblings like that even exist, or conversely, made me glad my siblings weren’t so fucked up.

I mean the kind of platonic love that exists between siblings living in the liminal space of love and hate thanks to the single fucked up connection that draws them back together continuously out of some sense of duty or commiseration or the need to be understood.

I mean the kind of love between siblings that would wither away when in a perfect world that does not stake their survival on their codependence of each other, but that in an imperfect and real world is equated to familiarity. Sam and Dean against the world—against John Winchester.

Out of all of the episodes I’ve watched in the last day and a half, perhaps the one that struck me most was episode 20, Season 2. What is and What Should Never Be. Not only was the title a bit of emotional whiplash—the juxtaposition of Should and Never lending a finality or a sense of wrongness that can’t be replicated by the words “Could Never—but we see Dean and Sam in a world where their one connection, hunting, has completely vanished and at a high cost to all the people they’ve saved, but mostly to Sam and Dean themselves. They’re connection as ride or die brothers is gone, replaced by an ostensibly better, healthier, more normal future liberated from the expectations of the rest of the world.

Without the death of Mary Winchester, Dean and Sam are no longer Dean and Sam. They’re just two people, connected by the two people that raised them, and likely to drift apart after that connection dies—frayed ends of a tapestry pulling apart and unraveling. Dean gains a mom and a normal life, but metaphorically loses a brother and a sense of purpose. Who is Dean Winchester if he’s not a hunter and Sam’s brother? And the sad thing is, neither of these are traits Dean ever chose. They are conditions foisted upon him, perhaps not intentionally, such as in the case of Sam, but ultimately placed on his soul until they tethered themselves to the very core of what being Dean Winchester is supposed to mean. The end of the episode, and Dean’s choice to return to the real world, regardless of Sam waking him up, is Dean fully giving up his dream in order to save Sam and be a hunter. The fallacy of the episode is in the choice Dean makes, which the more I think about it, feels less like a choice and more of an inevitability but one compounded by Dean’s readiness and willingness to go with it.

This is where I get to the crux of my surprise with these first early seasons of Supernatural: Dean Motherfucking Winchester.

I don’t know what I was expecting from early seasons of Supernatural, especially with the context of the later seasons. Maybe an overly cheesy, early 2000s ode to roadtrip Americana with a self-reverential take on the classic gun slinging frontiersman of the Wild West and bad supernatural CGI. Not to say it isn’t that (shout out to Sam’s comment on Dean’s particular brand of butch), but what surprised me was how real the connection between the characters was manifested on screen and how much good will the show built up in the audience. There came a point where I sided with Dean so much in the events of the show that I felt like I was riding shotgun in the impala. I saw it with every compliant “yes, sir” he gave to John, with every teasing comment he threw at Sam, and with every act of selflessness he exhibited by protecting other people. This isn’t to say that Dean is perfect. Sometimes he doesn’t take things seriously enough, or he’s willing to sacrifice people for some misguided greater good, or he’s obsessed with saving Sam even when he wouldn’t be if it were anyone else, but Dean has a conviction so many people lack. He has the capacity to love at a great cost to himself, either because he believes himself unworthy of being loved or because he’s not used to anything else.

Jensen Ackles does such a good job at this portrayal and with such a different technique than Jared Padalecki. Ackles embodies the desperate need for self-assuredness that Dean breathes, as well as the genuine fear he has of being seen. I love laughing with Dean as much as I love screaming at him for how stupid he’s being. If Sam is the self-insert, then Dean is the tragic hero, although that comparison feels like a poor facsimile for what Dean Winchester truly is because I don’t particularly feel an overwhelming sense of pity at his state or at his hinted downfall with that demon deal. If anything, I feel a sense of indignation mixed with understanding and frustration that Dean can’t catch a break but at the end of it all, is just how he prefers it.

It shouldn’t be a shock to admit that even without knowing what happens from seasons 3 to 15, I know how Supernatural ends. Just thinking about the ending makes me wonder if I should even continue it past season 5, but that’s a decision for another time.

For now, there’s something unbearably tragic in seeing Dean Winchester so close to a chance of a normal life and apple pie happiness (something he really seems to desire no matter how much he denies it) and then having to give it up, not just because it’s not real, but because he believes it should never be real.

Dean Winchester deserves better.

[rayofmisfortune]

Hey so, I know literally nothing of how Rodimus gets the matrix or even if he does. But- I've read a few fics where he gets the matrix during the functionist (?) era and idk, something about how the writers make the story and progression flow rubs me the wrong way. So ofc I have to ramble about my own ideas

I don't know that much about how the political jargon works in idw or whatever the fics I've read use as a basis. Guessing it's idw. But one of these fics went about Rodimus stumbling upon the Matrix in like a weird ahh liminal space kinda way? I worded it wrong lmao but anyway after he got the Matrix he immediately goes to the senate. I- that part just.. I dunno, not vibing with that. Idk. but how I'd go about it is the Matrix appearing to him (vaguely, lmao idk how, the liminal space thing is kinda cool lmao) but the idea of the matrix just randomly spawning in his berthroom is higher on my list of matrix acquisition. It would be funnyyyyy. Also- I would be a lil fuck and make it huuuuurt, angst brain yada yada, screw me yea, anyway. Yea what would I make hurt? The whole "transforming into a prime" dealio. (People describe the process as "beautiful" and "amazing" and yea changing frame types doesn't appear to be painful but I'm me and I love putting characters in pain /aff) Rodimus gets to pass out as a treat 🫶 and have vivid hallucinations of the Primes. Would he believe anything that he's been told in said vivid hallucinations telling him he's the new Prime? Half n half lmao well at least until he woke up sprawled on the floor of his berthroom for some reason. (Does Rodimus get taller after getting the Matrix? Cuz, idk mates I'm not that knowledgeable kekw but if he did it would be hilarious to have him get up on too long limbs and have one of those "everything was moved slightly to the left" moments except everything is a little smaller/shorter than when he stumbled his way to berth last cycle)

... also I just like the idea of Rodimus hiding his newfound Primeness. Not going straight for the leadership, but realizing that something is very very wrong, why did the matrix come to him? What happened to the last Prime (Nominus???? I dunno who dat is, but peeps used his name as the last Prime in the fics I've read, weh). Coming to the realization "Oh frag, the senators murdered him." after being subjected to visions from the last Primes in his recharge. ... y'all this is just me trying to validate a Prime working from the shadows to overthrow the government. All the authors stressed that Rodimus was a lowercaste bot so- a Prime who was originally lowercaste would know how the system treated bots like him, right?

Or maybe going straight for the big man spot is something Rodimus would do and I just don't have that much of a grasp of his character. But honestly I don't see him as someone who enjoys any leader positions where he needs to be the responsible one. Hiding away and keeping a low profile, working from the shadows. I feel like becoming a Prime is more of a burden than a blessing for someone like Rodimus. Running from his problems 👍 Fake it till you make it as they say.

Also- like... The Senators introducing a new (fake) Prime on live broadcast across cybertron. The guy having this whole speech about how the Matrix had chosen them and how sorry they are for the fate of their predecessor and how grateful they are for this chance to make cybertron better. While Rodimus watches it on a billboard or hologram or whatever along with a few other bots and thinks "yea right, this guy's full of slag." Yea he ain't gonna be going to the Senators any time soon.

[loubouskz]

strange things happen

han jisung x thick!fem!reader

description: tour just ended, and they were going back home. jisung should be happy and excited but can't help but be in his head. when he's told about the backrooms, he didn't really think he'd end up there, nor did he think he would meet a girl too. but then again, the strangest things happen to good people.

genre: strangers to lovers, the backrooms

warning: SMUT!, pov changes a few times, foggy in head space, anxiety fear, mentions of meditation, insomnia(in text but not mentioned), crying, panic attack, passing out, body insecurity, jisung being a sweetheart, somewhat fear of water, yelling, overthinking, kissing, making out, slight marking kink, oral(both receiving), the smallest bit of dirty talk, creampie

wc: 8.8k(somewhat proof-read)

a/n: idk why I wrote this!🤣 I just couldn't shake the thought of it, so I had to write it and now I absolutely love it. I tried my best to explain the levels they were in, basing it off the game: The Complex: Backrooms Found Footage. I think I did okay. tho choosing what skz member to write it for was hard but ended up choosing jisung. anyway, I hope you enjoy this! I would love to hear your guys feedback!❤️❤️

taglist: @hgema @jisunglyricist

--------

“what? you two honestly don’t believe in that stuff, right?” minho asked, placing his drink down. jisung hadn’t been listening to the conversation and looked around the dinner table. he saw everyone laughing and enjoying dinner while he was off wandering around in his head. the hyung line(besides minho who was sitting next to jisung) were finished eating and up and doing their own thing. while the maknae line were still sat at the table. they had just finished tour and were having a celebratory dinner party with the whole staff and crew.

“you never know what could be real minho.” jeongin said, shrugging his shoulders. jisung scrunched his eyebrows. “what are we talking about?” he asked, looking around the table. “the backrooms.” felix answered, leaning into the table. “what’s that?” he asked, poking around at his food. jisung didn’t really feel hungry, just more tired than anything. all he wanted to do was go to the hotel and sleep. 

“the backrooms are like an urban legend. its were you noclip out of our everyday world filled with people to a liminal space. there’s different areas or levels. the most famous one being this.” felix said, showing jisung a photo. an open room with yellow wallpaper and fluorescent lighting. “there’s been a lot of short films and documentaries to come out recently about it.” jeongin said. “but they’re fake.” seungmin cut in. “we don’t know that.” jeongin said, turning his head to seungmin. “basically you end up there, and you go through the levels to find a way out.” felix said. “that’s creepy.” jisung said as the two boys continued to show and tell him more about the backrooms.

the more felix and jeongin talked about the backrooms, the more fear set in jisung’s head. minho was starting to worry about him. “okay boys! i think that’s enough, let’s go enjoy this party before everyone gets too tired.” minho said, pushing his chair back to stand up. giving the two younger boys a stare, basically to say. shut the fuck up right now. everyone followed minho to the dance floor and processed to have a fun night. dancing the night away.

jisung could feel his body dancing to whatever song was playing. but he kept going back and forth in his head and being present while dancing. his brain had felt foggy for the last few days. even more now since the idea of the backrooms being real. he knows he shouldn’t believe it, but he can’t help it. the idea of being stuck and alone, going in endless loops, trying to find a way out…it scared him.

the party seemed to end quickly. though two hours had passed, it felt like six minutes. everyone cleaned up the areas that were messed up, and in a blink of an eye, jisung was in the van on the way back to the hotel. he doesn’t remember getting in the van and doesn’t even try to either. jisung took a deep breath and looked out the window. seeing the bright lights of the streetlamps and neon signs for the clubs, bushes and trees blurring at the speed. jisung just wanted to sleep. that’s all he needed. it had been a very long day, and he was ready for it to be over.

once in his shared hotel room. jisung took a long hot shower to relax his nerves. though he really didn’t do anything during the shower. he just stood under the water, forehead pressed against the cold wall till the water ran cold. jisung looked at himself in the mirror as he brushed his teeth for the night. he felt like he was seeing himself in third-person, and his body felt like a shell. he couldn’t understand why he was feeling like this. he’s been taking his medicine, never missing a day or night. jisung turned off the light and exited the bathroom. he removed his towel and put on a pair of boxers and his pajama pants on. not bothering to put on the matching shirt. 

he climbed into the bed and turned off his side lamp, ready for bed.  “you okay ji?” he heard minho voice ask. jisung turned his head and smiled at minho. “yeah, i’m fine man. just really tired and ready to sleep. can you turn off your light as well?” jisung said to him. minho gave a worried face but did what jisung asked with a nod. “if you need someone to talk and listen to you, you know you can talk to me. right, jisung?” minho asked out in the dark. jisung nodded his head, then remembered the lights were off. “i know. nothing’s wrong. i promise.” he said out loud before yawning. “night minho.” jisung said in a tired voice. “good night, jisung.” minho responded back.

why wasn’t sleep coming to him. jisung laid awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling. his arms under his head. his mind and body had felt tired. he wanted to sleep, so why wasn’t it coming to him. he didn’t want to toss around too much, scared that he would wake up minho. the one thing he didn’t want to do was worry him even more. so jisung stayed still and waited for sleep to take him. but it never did, he watched as the sun came up and heard the city become loud and full of life again. he heard minho starting to wake up. jisung turned over and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep.

he heard minho get out of bed and walk over to him. shaking him to wake up. “wake up. we have to get to the airport.” minho said. jisung pretended to stir awake and sat up. “what time is it?” jisung asked. “6:43am. now come on and got to get dressed and packed.”

just like last night everything seemed to move fast but slow at the same time. jisung was dressed in his outfit for the day. a white loose fit tee, his black jacket, black baggy pants with his sneakers, dad cap, and face mask. when he blinked and looked up he at the international airport, everybody was ready to go home. he waved to the flashing cameras and stays that were there.

the group made their way through the airport, doing everything they needed to do to get to their gate in time. once they were there, got their tickets scanned and passports looked at. jisung was the last one. when he looked up to continue to board the plane, everyone was so far ahead of him. he doesn’t want to say he freaked out a little, feeling like he was getting left behind even though they were all on the same flight. but that is exactly what he felt. like his flight or fight response kicked in. he secured his carryon and jogged to catch up to the rest of his members, but the more steps he stook, the further they got. “hey chan wait up!” jisung called out to his leader, then he tripped and fell down. 

jisung closed his eyes and waited for the impact of the floor, but it didn’t come. he felt the wind starting to pick up. he opened his eyes and being to panic. this has to be a dream. jisung was free falling in the sky. he couldn’t do anything but scream and cry as the city buildings got closer and closer. he closed his eyes once again, waiting for death to hit him.

then he hit a carpeted floor, but not hard but definitely enough to make a thud sound…like he tripped and fell. jisung pushed himself up onto his knees and saw where he was. just like the picture felix had shown him.

open room, yellow walls, and fluorescent lights. he was in the backrooms.

no no no no this cannot be happening. “i’m dreaming. i must be dreaming.” jisung said as he did everything he could think of to wake himself up. he pinched his arm. hit his leg. slapped his cheek. hell, he even stood up and ran into one of the walls near him and fell down. “ow.” jisung said. falling onto his butt with his head hurting. jisung didn’t know what to do. he busted into tears as he ran. ran and ran. he felt like he was going in circles. everything looked the same! this can’t be real. he stopped and thought for a quick second where he should go. he yanked his face mask off. took a deep breath and continued to run. it doesn’t make any sense of how he could have ended up here. he wanted to be with his members. on the plane. going home. the tears blurring up his vision to the point where he couldn’t see. it felt like everything was closing in around him. he started to sleep black dots. everything went dark.

opening the journal in hand, going back to read what you wrote so you wouldn’t go insane and forget who you are. saying the following words aloud. what your name was. how old you were. your birthday. what year it was. the date it was when you got here. where you are from and currently living at. family, friends, and pets. what you were studying. etc. anything. you didn’t want to risk it even if it wasn’t going to happen. 

once you were done, you placed the journal in the pocket of the hoodie you were wearing. continuing down the nevering-end yellow halls. you don’t know how long you’ve been here, but it felt like years at this point. you don’t know how you end up here either, what this place was, or how to get out. the feeling of someone watching you never going away, even though you knew you were alone.

you turned the corner and physically jumped out of your skin. freezing at that moment. just ahead of you, was a person. a man lying on the ground. he looked to be passed out. you didn’t know whether to go up and shake him to see if he was okay or run. after debating with yourself, you decided to see if he was alive. you slowly walked over to him, taking quiet steps.

once you were right next to him, you squatted down. now seeing his face. you could see he was asian and around your age. his cheeks puffy and red with swollen eyes. you felt a sting to your heart. he must have just shown up here and most likely completely terrified. 

“hey are you okay?” i asked, shaking him on his shoulder. he groaned as he started to wake up. “come on, get up.” i said, shaking him a bit harder. his eyes fluttered open and saw me. i could tell panic set in. he quickly flipped over and scooted away from me. looked around and made a face before looking at me again. “i’m not going to hurt you.” i said. “how do i know that?” he said back. “because we are in the same boat and trying to get out.” i told him. he brought his knees up to his chest. “my name is y/n. what’s yours?” i said. “i’m jisung. han jisung.” he said. “well it’s nice to meet you, jisung.” i said with a smile. “do you know the way out?” he asked.

i stood back up. “no i don’t. sorry. if i did, i wouldn’t be here…where ever i am.” i sighed out, looking around at the yellow walls. “you’ve never heard of this place?” jisung said, looking up at me. “no. have you?” i questioned. he nodded his head slowly before standing up. “just last night, my friends were telling me about this place. it’s called the backrooms.” jisung said, “it’s where you clip out of our everyday world and you’re here.” jisung looked around the room with a scowl. he’s crazy. 

he brought eyes back to me and saw the look on my face. “you don’t believe me..” he said, taking off his cap and running his fingers through his hair. “no. that sounds too insane.” i told him. “there’s this place, a warehouse, a maintenance hall, pool area thing, house, and a lot more.” he said. “i’ve never seen any of those places you’ve mentioned besides this one.” i told him. jisung’s cheeks started to turn red. probably out of embarrassment. i breathed in, “how about we just stick together and find a way out.” i said. he nodded, “good idea.” so we began to walk the eerie room. 

“so…” jisung said, making me turn my head to him. “what do you do? i mean like in our world.” he asked. i smiled, “i’m studying at my dream university while doing part-time at a music shop on the side.” i expressed with happiness. “you?” i directed to him. “oh i’m a k-pop idol. i’m in a group called stray kids. have you heard of us?” he stated. “no sorry.” i said, shaking my head. jisung was telling me about himself and telling stories about his members. which i’ve learned that there is eight of them in total. “we recently just started getting really big these last two and half years. then covid came and we were stuck at home all of 2020.” jisung said. i stopped in my tracks. the fuck? 2020. have i been in here for that long? “my group and i just finished our tour called maniac.” jisung said, turning his head to look at me. when he didn’t see me, he turned around. 

“you okay?” he asked, walking back to me. “2020. it’s 2020?” i exclaimed. he shook his head, “no it’s april 5th 2023.” jisung hesitated to say. he furrowed his eyebrows, “what year did you think it was?” he questioned. “2019. i showed up here on june 9, 2019. i didn’t think i was in here for that long.” i cried out, feeling tears welt up in my eyes. jisung’s eyes widened. “hey hey, don’t cry y/n. we’re gonna get out of here. i promise.” he comforted, placing his arms onto my shoulders. a few tears fell to my cheeks. “none of that.” he said, quickly wiping them away with the knuckle of his pointer finger. “we’re going to get back home. alright?” he said. i nodded and sniffed, “okay.” i told him. jisung gave me a bright smile. “okay then, let’s get a move on.” he said, holding out his hand to take. i placed my hand in his and we continued on our way, trying to find the exit.

turning left and right, going straight. all of it seemed to be the same, the same damn yellow walls with every turn and move. the quiet noise of the fluorescent lights buzzing. 

“i feel like we are going in circles y/n.” jisung said out loud. “i don’t think we are?” i said, more in a question sense. we did another left turn and were met with a dark dead-end. there was a crawl space giving off light. “should we go through it?” jisung asked, squatting down in front of it. i looked at the size of it and looked at my body. 

i was on the thicker size. a tummy, thick thighs and hips, big boobs and butt. i became overly aware of my size. starting to feel small and insecure. “umm, i don’t think i can fit through that.” i quietly told jisung. he looked up at me, eyeing me up and down then back at the crawl space. “i think you’ll get through. plus you won’t know unless you try.” jisung said in a nice tone. “will you try?” he asked. my head came up with a million and one thoughts in one second on why i shouldn’t do it. “as long as you won’t look.” i said, avoiding eye contact. “i can do that.” jisung said while nodding his head.

jisung stood back up and took a few steps back. i walked closer to the crawl space and got on my hands and knees. i looked back at jisung and he had both of his hands covering his eyes and turned to the side. i turned back to the crawl space and started to make my way through. my upper half made it easy, it was a little snug at my hips- but i got through. i stood back up and called out to jisung. 

“i made it!” i said loud and proud. “great!” he said. soon enough, jisung crawled through and was standing next to me. we looked around and the yellow walls were starting to fade into gray metal like material. “i guess this is progress.” i declared, walking ahead. “yeah.” he said, following by my side. as we walked further into the gray walls, we heard a ding. “what was that?” jisung asked. we looked all around us till my eyes landed on an elevator to the right of us, tucked away in a cornered with the doors open.

“jisung there’s an elevator.” i said, making my way over to it. jisung quickly followed. it was a small elevator, but both of us fit with a comfortable distance between us. jisung looked down at the button panel. “well there’s only one direction to go.” he joked. i looked at the panel and sure enough, he was right. we could only go up. “let’s get out of here.” i said, nodding my head. jisung pressed the up button. the elevator doors quickly closed and we started heading up.

“i just thought of something.” jisung said, leaning his back against the wall. “what is it?” i mumbled. “if you’ve been in here since 2019, how are you still alive? there’s no food, no drinkable water. have you even slept?” jisung asked. i looked at him with wide eyes. “i. i honestly don’t know. it doesn’t feel like i’ve been in here that long. maybe a few days or weeks? and i’ve slept, but it was to take a break from walking. not because my energy was low and i needed sleep.” i replied, trying to understand it myself. “wow.” jisung said in pure awe. “i hope you’re not here for as long as i’ve been.” i added, just as the doors opened up. “i hope so too, but then again. i think we are going to get out of here. a lot sooner.” he said with a smile as he exited the elevator.

i followed behind him and to my surprise. we were in a completely different place. the walls were now white tiles, our shoes echoing throughout the hall. soon we came out to an open room with water. “this was the pool area i was talking about!” jisung exclaimed, giving me another one of those big smiles. i felt butterflies dance around in my stomach. god, does he have a killer smile. wait no, don’t think like that y/n. just because this is the person, especially male. does not mean you can form a crush on him.

jisung walked over to the railing and looked down to the right. i came up beside him and looked the same way. he turned his head to me. “do you believe me now.” he said, more in a statement. i could only nod my head. he pushed off the railing and walked behind me. “someone was here.” jisung said. i turned around and looked to see what he saw. there was a blanket on the floor. “so we’re not alone?” i asked. “either we’re not or that person already got out.” jisung said, “but if they are still here, let’s hope they’re as nice as you.” he added, turning around to face to water again.

“i think we are going to have to walk through the water.” jisung stated, going to the steps into the water. i slowly walked over to the steps and watched as he got in. “does it get deeper?” i asked. jisung brought his eyes to mine. “can’t swim?” he asked. “i can doggy paddle, but that’s about it.” i said. jisung rose his hand from his side. “don’t worry.” he said. i made my way down the steps and put my hand his. his hand was so soft and warm. i looked up at him. “i won’t let you go.” jisung promised.

the water covered the bottom half of our legs. deep enough to slush the water around but shallow enough to walk in. as we made our way through the water, there was an opening on the right but there was also another crawl space. jisung turned to me and i shook my head. “not that one.” i pleaded. “we don’t have to.” jisung responded, squeezing my hand. so we took the right hall, which was a little dark considering there was no light other than the sunlight at the end…if you could even call it that. whatever it was.

we slowly made our way to the end of the hall where there was a big circular column and a set of curvy steps out of the water. we quickly started up the stairs to get out of the water, jisung letting me go first. once i reached the top, there was another elevator. “if the rest of this easy to get out of, we’ll be home in no time.” i said, looking back at jisung. jisung looked back down at me and smiled. i glanced down at his lips and back up at his eyes, seeing he did the same thing. “yeah.” he whispered, a ding from the elevator made us jump.

jisung cleared his throat and guided out his hand to let me enter the elevator first. once we were both inside, i pushed the up button this time and watched as the doors closed once again. there was a bit of awkward silence. “tell me more about yourself, y/n. about things you want to do and achieve in life.” jisung said, looking down at his feet. i thought about it for a second and then told him a mini version of my life story and my goals and dreams.

jisung was laughing his butt off by the time the elevator doors opened, making me giggle. we looked out the doors and saw a mall, our laughter dropping at the slight of it. we stepped out and carefully eyed our surroundings. there was an empty fountain, newspaper and random magazines scattered around the floor, dark and quiet like every place has been.  just our shoes making the most noise. we made our way forward, jisung noticing a map hung on the wall.

“do you can this will help us?” jisung asked. “i don’t know.” i said, trying to read the map. “i can’t tell what it says.” i added, looking at jisung. “me neither.” he sighed out. we walked around, not really finding anything. just more dark, dimly lit halls and rooms and rarely stuff in them. besides a chair or two.

we entered the last hall, leading us to something different. “at least we can kinda tell where we are. better than the yellow room.” jisung said, making me smile, “yeah, you’re right about that.” i replied. then my eyes caught a glimpse at something ahead of us. “is that a red light?” i asked, picking up my pace a little. that’s new. we looked at the little hall where the red light was coming from, but it lead no where.

so we just continued walking forward. making turns left and right whenever we felt like it, unless it lead us to a dead-end. to help pass the time we came up with jokes and telling embarrassing stories. 

it was easy talking jisung, even if i had just met him. it felt like we had been friends for awhile. for once and surprisingly, i was happy i was stuck in here and that this happened to me. because i would have never been able to meet han jisung and get to know him for him. as terrible as it is. having someone with me, him with him, made me feel a lot better. 

“hey y/n!” jisung shouted, “come here, i think i found the way to the elevator!” i quickly turned around and followed jisung down a narrow hall with random turns. it opened up to a small cafeteria thing with the elevator on the left wall to the back. 

“we are making so much progress!” jisung said happily and ran over to the elevator. bouncing up and down like a little kid. i laughed as i made my way over to him and stood next to him. “how many levels are there?” i asked him as the elevator dinged. “i don’t know, but hopefully not too many.” he said as we stepped in the elevator for the third time. 

the doors opened up to a hotel with chairs thrown everywhere, lit up by the wall sconces. “well this level it a bit more creepy.” i stated out loud. we left the elevator and went to the right. “it says there’s a dining hall, maybe there’s food there.” jisung said. “are you actually hungry?” i questioned. “no, but it would be nice to eat something right now.” jisung said with a smile. soon enough, we came into the dining hall. 

“shit there’s nothing in here.” jisung whined. i walked over to the crawl space and looked in. “no where to go in there.” i said, turning back around. “dead-end?” jisung sighed. “dead-end.” i said back to him. he groaned as we pushed our way back the way we came to go down a different hall. we came across a small gap in the wall. jisung looked at me. “should we try it?” he asked. “sure why not. we have all the time in the world.” i answered with laugh. 

jisung fit like it was nothing. for me, it was a bit of a squeeze, but bearable. it was just another long hall, just very small and dim. eventually, it opened back up and the elevator was right in front of us and already open. “luck seems to be on our side, we’re going to get home in no time!” jisung said as we entered the elevator.

the doors closed and we only went up for a few seconds then stopped. there was a tap on the door. we both looked at each other. two more taps, jisung stood in front of me in case there was actual someone there. four more taps against the door before the finally opened up. chairs were blocking the exit the leave, the room completely red. we couldn’t get out.

“are we suppose to get out?” i asked, jisung slowly shock his head. he quickly pressed the button to go up so the doors could close again. slowly but sure the doors closed and we started going up again. jisung spun around to face me. “i feel like we are getting closer to go home.” he said with a smile. the doors opened back up and saw the yellow wallpaper. “why the hell are we back here?” i said, pushing past jisung. yellow walls, carpeted floors, fluorescent lights. I turned back to jisung to had a defeated look on his face. i felt my eyes starting to burn. “you’re a fucking liar. i knew i shouldn’t have trust you.” i felt my voice cracking in the sentence. jisung jumped at the sound of my hurt voice. “y/n.” he said, stepping towards me. i back up and shook my head. “no.” i said, before turning around. i walked over to a wall and sled down. crying and feeling hopeless. 

“there’s no way this is the same.” i heard jisung say. he heard him jogging around, i couldn’t even bring myself to look up to see where he was going. i’m such an idiot for thinking i could get out of this place. there’s no way out, just endless loops of different rooms all feeling the same way. hell it’s been five years since i got here. everyone probably thinks i’m dead by now. my family, my friends, my two roommates, everyone who knew me. thinks i’m dead. what’s the point of trying to get out of here when they think i’m dead and gone.

i felt a pair of hands grab my cheeks and push my face up. i saw jisung’s face with tears and a light smile. “it’s not the same y/n.” jisung said, he grabbed my hands and pulled me up. “come on, all we have to do is follow the beeping.” he said, dragging me along with him at a fast pace. we turned a couple a corners and i was first it wasn’t the same. just the color of the room. instead of there just being rooms entering rooms, there were also columns now and more space going up. i hardly had time to process what was happening, jisung just kept pulling me with him. stopping every now and then to listen. 

“what are you liste-” jisung shushed me. then i heard the beep he had been following. “it’s this way.” he said, making a left turn, then a right. the beeping continued to get louder and louder as we got closer. we turned around corner and was greeted into a big room with the elevator. the next part happened so quickly. jisung turned around, placed his hands on my cheeks again and gave my a hard kiss with passion. i yelped as i wasn’t expecting that to happen. i recovered fast and kissed him back, placing my hands on his chest which made jisung smile into the kiss. he pulled away, leaving his forehead on mine.

“we’re going home like i promised.” he said just above a whisper. i looked into his soft brown eyes. “i’m sorry i yelled at you.” i apologized. he shook his head, “no i understand, you want to get back home as much i as i do and when you saw the yellow walls again you felt lied to. i understand, i would have felt the same way.” he told me. jisung removed his hands from my cheeks and down my arms. grasping my left hand with his right. “let’s keep going.” he said, to which i nodded to.

we entered the elevator once again, pressing the up button. the door closed once more, the elevator moving up once again. jisung squeezed my hand, making me turn to him. he leaned in for another kiss which i gladly accepted. it started out as a sweet innocent kiss but became more heated. jisung pushed me against the wall, pressing his body to mine. making me moan into the kiss. with that small opening, jisung slid his tongue into my mouth. exploring every nook and cranny. he tasted like a muted minty flavor. i ran my hands up his body and to the back of his neck, playing with the hair poking out of the cap. jisung groaned into the kiss, rolling his hips into mine. i whined, pushing my hips to his. feeling his erection growing by the second.

“god, i want to fuck you so bad.” jisung said, once he pulled his lips away. my body feeling tingly, goosebumps forming on my skin. i shivered at his words. i went to respond but the elevator dinged and the doors opened back up. “if we can find a not so creepy area, i’ll let you fuck me.” i said to him, looking dead in the eyes. he groaned and gave me another sloppy kiss.

he interlaced our fingers and pulled me out of the elevator. we only made it a few steps before stopping, realizing how dark it was. we could hardly see each other. we continued walking but very slowly, not knowing what was ahead.

just a few more steps forward, a loud snap echoed in the room we were in accompanied with red lights shining the area. we were in the middle of a street with few houses following the side. at the end of the road was a tunnel with the elevator in the center of the tunnel. i looked around at the lights. the redness gave the feeling a not welcoming feeling, like more eyes were on us then the last time. we listened and watched out for any nobody that could be here, but there was no one. not even in the houses. we continued to the tunnel and made our way inside the elevator.

the doors opened to a clean white wall with oak wood floors. nothing on the floor, but a blanket up ahead in front of a window. jisung bent down to it and felt it as i looked out the window. “it’s completely cold, whoever was here hasn’t been here for awhile.” jisung explained. “i think we’re in an apartment complex.” i said. i remember that being one of the places jisung said we could turn up at. jisung stood up and looked at the window as well. just looking at it gave me an uneasy feeling. it was dark ‘outside’, only light coming from all the windows and maybe one of two lamps. jisung turned to me, “let’s keep going.” he said, nodding his way down the hall.

turn after turn we were just greeted by more dead-ends. coming back out of one of the last halls. before we could even make it fully, we stopped in our tracks. there right in front of us was a an opening. like the building had been cut in half. 

we got closer to it. “that would be a long fall.” jisung said as he looked down. i nodded my head. “yeah it would be.” i said. jisung looked at the other opening his could see. “do you think i could make that jump?” he questioned. my eyes widened. “please do not try to make that big ass gap han jisung.” i raised my voice at him. he turned to me, wide eyed. “yes ma’am.” he said giving me a smirk.

we headed back to where the original hall connected to the hall we were just in and the elevator door was right in front of us. like it just appeared out of no where. “well that’s new.” i said as we walked up to it. “yeah, let’s hope that doesn’t happen again.” jisung laughed out as we got in. “on the next stop do you think we can sit down and take a breather?” i asked him. “yeah sure. i don’t mind taking a break at all.” he answered back. 

the doors opened up again to flat land and a singular house. we seated out, taking in our surroundings. it was like we were on a small planet, you could see a slight curve where it circled down and around. the sky was painted in a dusk night with the sun already gone and the stars starting to pop up.

“you picked a good one, y/n.” jisung pointed out as we made our way to the house. the front door was open and a room directly the right of us. a chair and a blanket on the floor. we walked a little further into the house and right there in the corner to the left was the elevator. in front of it on the other wall was a door but it was closed. jisung grabbed the door handle and twisted the knob.

“it’s locked.” he said. “did you still want to rest or did you want to just go since the elevator is right here?” he added. as much as i wanted to go, i couldn’t stand the feeling in the pit of my stomach anymore. i wanted him. right here and now. i walked up to him and placed my hands on his shoulders. i leaned my face close to his, lips barely touching. “did you forget what i told you earlier?” i asked, never breaking eye contact. i could feel his hot breath on my lips. “no.” he said, stealing a look at my lips. 

i leaned in and crashed my lips onto his, him groaning in the process. jisung’s hands went for my hips before dragging them down and to my ass. giving it a hard squeeze. i moaned into the kiss, right before pulling away with jisung chasing after my lips. i giggled and grabbed his forearm, pulling him the first open room we saw. i pressed him against the nearest wall, connecting my lips to his neck. i pushed off his jacket as i left marks on his body. i bit his collarbone, getting my hand under his shirt and pushing it up. jisung quickly threw his cap off and slid his shirt off his body. i kissed down his chest and got on my knees. unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them. i pushed them down his thighs along with his underwear. 

his cock was already halfway hard. i spat on my hand and gripped him. jisung moaned, throwing his head back onto the wall. i ran my hand up and down, my mouth watering at the sight of him. i placed the tip of his cock on my tongue and licked up the bead of pre-cum coming out. jisung looked down at me and brought his hand on the top of my head. i opened my mouth and shoved him in. taking as much as i could. 

“oh fuck y/n.” jisung said as his body tensed up from the feeling of my warm mouth. i bobbed my head back and forth, loving how heavy he felt on my tongue. i moaned around his cock. i moved my hand to his balls and played with them. jisung thrusted his hips forward, making me gag.

“sorry.” he said, pulling his cock out of my mouth. he placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head up. “you aright?” he asked with worried eyes. i nodded my head and smiled. “yeah i’m okay.” i said. “good.” he stated as he got on the floor then kicked off his shoes and pants. jisung grabbed his clothes and laid them behind me. he gently pressed me back to make me lay down.

jisung climbed over me and kissed me as he ran his hands up my body and under my shirt. i froze and grabbed his wrists, making him freeze. “you wanna leave it on?” he asked when he pulled away. “just my shirt, everything else can come off.” i shyly told jisung. “that’s fine.” jisung said with a smile. jisung sat up, running his hands down my body to my sweats. “just so you know, i think you look beautiful.” he said, admiring every curve and roll on my body. i blushed at his statement. he pulled down my sweats and off my legs, taking my shoes off too.

jisung groaned at sight of my underwear, seeing a dark patch on the material. he made eyed contact with me as he laid down. coming face to face with my cunt. jisung placed a kissed right on top of my clit then gave a bold lick, sending shock waves though my body. he hooked his finger around my underwear and pushed it to the side.

he immediately dived in and started eating me out. i threw my head back as i ached my back. my hand found his hair and tugged at it hard. the sounds of his groans vibrated my body. i whined as he pushed his tongue inside my wet hole. I clamped my thick thighs around his head.

“god, you taste so good.” jisung said, spitting on my mound. he ran his finger up my slit before pushing it in. “gotta stretch you out for my cock baby.” he said in a gravely voice, setting up a decent speed. “want you to cum all over my hand.” he said before diving back in. his tongue playing my clit again. “oh jisung!” i yelled out. my breathing picked up as his added a finger, making me clench around him. “curl your fingers up.” i whined out. jisung did exactly what i told him to do. finding my g-spot quickly. i ached my back and angled my hips even more as i felt my orgasm getting closer. making me curl my toes and my legs start to shake.

“harder.” i pleaded, needing more pressure to help me release. jisung pounded fingers hard into me with every pullback curling them up. his tongue danced around my clit as my legs started to shake. “oh fuck, i’m gonna cum!” i moaned loudly. he wrapped his lips around my clit and hummed, which sent me head first into my climax- nearly screaming jisung’s name from my lips. he slowly removed his fingers. patting my clit a few times, making me jolt.

“i love how you scream my name.” he said, sitting back onto his knees. “want more.” i said, spreading my legs out. “i want you inside me, please.” i whined. “fuck, i love that even more.” he said, scooting up so he could line his cock up with my opening. slowly pushing in as he rubbed my sensitive clit. i closed my eyes, running my hands above my shirt. gripping at my boobs. we both moaned as he bottomed out. jisung steaded himself before placing his arms under the back on my knees, holding my legs. he slowly pulled out halfway and slammed back in. 

“fuck.” i whispered. jisung’s eyes never left my body as he began to keep up the pace. watching every closely at my body and how it was jiggle and moving with each thrust. “shit, i’m not gonna last long.” he whined out, gripping my legs hard. i clenched around him at how whiny he sounded. just the sound of our skin hitting the walls of the room and loud moans from the both of us. jisung let go of my legs and laid on top of my body. his hot chest moving against my hoodie, making it come up a little. placing his hands neither side of my head. his hot breath fanning my face.

“you look so good under me. don’t wanna stop fucking this tight little cunt.” jisung said, punching a hard thrust. i wrapped my legs around his waist and arm around his back, burying my head into the crease of his neck. from this angle the pubic bone grazed my clit perfectly. i moaned feeling my second orgasm coming up fast. “gonna cum.” i whispered as i dug my nails into his back from the pleasure. jisung’s thrusts became sloppy and more rough. “me too, where should i cum?” he moaned. “inside. cum inside me, i wanna feel how much you fill me up.” i cried out, he shivered. he wrapped his right arm around the back of my shoulders, pulling my upper half even closer.

“cum with me baby.” he whined, sending a handful of hard thrusts with him pulling almost completely out, only leaving the tip in. slamming his cock deep inside one more time, shooting his hot seed around my walls. triggering my own climax, clenching around him harder than before. he rutted against me, my body feeling like pulp. i slowly released him from my grip, jisung helping me lay down my upper half. 

he sat up and grabbed his soften cock, easing it out of my sensitive hole. both hissing at the feeling. i closed my legs as jisung laid next to me so we could actual catch our breath. i looked over at jisung who was already looking at me. we broke out into smiles and laughter. he rolled over placing his arm loosely around my waist.

“when we get out of here, i wanna take you out of a date.” jisung said with a big bright smile. i felt my eyes widen and cheeks become red. “really?” i asked, making him nodded. “are you sure you want to be seen with a girl like me?” i questioned, glancing down at my bigger body. “i don’t care about that. just the type of person you are and from what i’ve learned so far. you seem like a great woman that i want to get to know more.” he said, making me blush even harder. i smiled at him then had a thought.

“what if when we get out of here we’re not together.” i said. jisung took a deep breath and placed his hand to my cheek. “then i’ll find you.” he said quietly before leaving a gentle kiss on my lips. jisung pulled away and laid back down. “come here.” he sai, opening his arms. i smiled and cuddled into him, laying my head on his chest. 

after a few minutes of cuddling, we got up and put back on our clothes. we were standing in front of the elevator. jisung turned his head to me. “ready?” he asked. “ready as i’ll ever be.” i answered back. we hopped in and watched as the doors closed. “where do you think we’ll go next?” i asked him. “well from what i remember my members telling me. we could end up in a long straight hall and a warehouse. other then those two, i don’t know.” jisung said.

the doors opened up but we weren’t completely on the level we need to be on. jisung and i looked at each other with questioning looks on our faces. jisung looked out to see what the level was. then the elevator cart jolted down a bit. jisung stumbled back into me. i grabbed ahold of his sides as we both looked at the doors. then the cart started falling, making loud screeching noises and lights going off.

“jisung!” i shouted. fear filling my body, heart pounding in my chest. jisung grabbed ahold of my arms and tried his best to face me. “grab onto my forearms y/n!” he yelled over the loud sound. i did what he said and held on tightly. “we’re going be okay!” i heard jisung said. i didn’t know what to do but scream as tears ran down my face. i tried to take a step to jisung but my body didn’t move. that’s when i realized had i closed my eyes.

i snapped my eyes open and saw that we were no longer in the elevator. i screamed out jisung’s name as i panicked. jisung opened his eyes and saw what was happening. i felt my grip of my left hand loosening and sliding down jisung’s arm. “don’t let go!” jisung screamed. “i’m trying!” i cried out as the wind started blowing faster and faster. then the wind hit us from the side, making us spin. both my hands were now at his wrists. jisung digging his fingertips into my skin.

i kept slipping from his grasp, hands to hands. jisung was using all his strength to pull me towards him the wind kept picking up. i looked at him with teary eyes the best i could. “you’ll find me!” i called out. “i promise!” jisung yelled back with tears in his eyes as well. the wind hit us once more from the other direction, making us spin hard.

that time, i lost the grip on jisung. “jisung!” i screamed. “y/n!” he screamed back but he sounded so far away. i kept spinning as the wind took me where it wanted. once i’d stopped spinning i realized i was headed straight to the ground in an alley. nonono. i closed my eyes, not wanting to see the ground getting closer. i landed on a big pile of trash bags, tumbling down them onto the concrete. landing on my side. 

“ow.” i said, looking around me and it was dark. that’s when i heard it. a car. people. a town. i shot up and looked in front of me, just to see a car pass by. “holy shit. i’m back.” i whispered. i got up from the ground and made my way out of the alley. i looked both ways before deciding to go right. i went into the nearest store and asked where i was. i’m home.

i sat in the police station waiting for my family and roommates to arrive. jisung was right about it being 2023. everything. i wouldn’t have made it back here if it weren’t for him. thank you han jisung. i can’t wait to see what you've told me about you and your group.

“y/n!” i heard my best friend called out. i looked up to see them all entering the station. “oh my god!” i said under my breath as i got up and ran to them. i hugged everyone so hard with them asking a million and one questions but being grateful that i was back and safe. “let’s go home first. what i’m going to tell you is crazy.” i told them.

later that night, in my soft bed. in my bedroom. i looked up han jisung and stray kids. jisung described them perfectly. treated each other like brothers. i listened to their music as i fell asleep.

jisung hit the trash bags, landing straight on his back. he groaned in pain of the sun as he removed himself from the stink. he looked around a saw he was in an alley. walking to the end where the street was, he saw that he was back in korea. just outside of jyp entertainment. i’m back! he ran inside the building greeting everyone who had shocked looks on their faces. but he couldn’t care less. he wanted to see is members. he ran to the elevator then stopped, turning around and heading to the stairs. he pushed himself through so many flights of stairs. he opened the hall door and ran down to the practice room, hoping his brothers would be in there. passing all his peers, like members of twice and itzy. 

he nearly broke down the door when he opened it. making everyone inside jump and look. the boys had stopped what they were doing and quickly ran to jisung, hugging him tightly.

“are you okay!”

“you’ve been gone for a full week!”

“what happened to you!”

“did someone kidnap you!”

“we were so scared!”

“one second we were behind us, next you were gone!”

“where have you been!”

jisung just cried being home again. “you’re not going to believe me when i tell you.” he said. explaining the full story, leaving out the sex part. felix and jeongin’s eyes were about to pop out of their head. “jisung, don’t lie.” minho said, rolling his eyes. felix shook his head. “how would he know about the the falling out of the sky! we never told him that.” felix explained. “or elevator failing when you come back!” jeongin added. “if you really did show us the girl.” seungmin said. “i need my phone then.” jisung said. chan quickly got up and ran over to a table, grabbing jisung’s phone.

once in his hands, he unlocked his phone and went straight to instagram. he typed in her fist and last name and she was the second account to pop up. jisung tapped on her icon and went to her profile. he clicked the first photo and noticed that it was posted just a few minutes ago. i scrolled down and looked at the date of the last photo. june 1st, 2019 was her last post. 

jisung showed the boys the proof with the photos, old comments, the article from when she first went missing, where she lives in the world, and even read the caption on her newest photo.

‘i’m back home! i won’t explain to here because it will most likely be on the news. but i can’t help but so grateful to the person i met who helped get me out. thank you so much h.j. i hope that you’re back home and safe as well and hope that we’ll meet again soon.’

after that, the boys believe him. they spent hours talking, completely forgetting about practice. just wanted to be with jisung with the rest of the day. we went out and had dinner. everyone went back to 3racha+hyunjin’s apartment, played games, and watched a movie or two. before finally calling it a night.

jisung laid in bed, staring at his phone. instagram was open once again, but this time he was trying to figure out what to type to y/n. fuck it he siad in his head.

hey, it was easy to find you. we still on for our date?

a few minutes passed before he saw someone typing…

date, time, and where.

[zombocomme]

🔮🔮Please, interact with us, our music cues will be highlighted for your convenience🔮🔮

🔮🔮[Spoksonat plays: https://open.spotify.com/track/5CYSsZzgetDRxyIs5zOVBP?si=-jrztZqXQEuNvCCouE5CUQ

Zombocomme: Hello and Welcome back! Oh I am so excited folks, for I have the privilege, to officially, and proudly, present our show’s first, that’s right,ever first, “COMBIVERSE”

✨️Double⏳️ Feature ⌛️ Episode!✨️

*cue audience clap* 

Zombocomme: what an exciting evening, finally putting our collaboration projects together, brought to you by our lovely Ghesties out there, hello dears!.. Hello!

Well, I won’t keep you waiting…much to do, much to see on MinistryTV!

To commemorate our first

✨️⌛️🐦‍🔥Combiverse🦋⏳️✨️

Episode, we'd like to harken back to our first roots and how we found the creativity to make the magic happen... as it always began with music...

🔮🔮Please, interact with us! Our music cues will be highlighted for your convenience🔮🔮

We hellishly thank @sadistic–cardinal for blessing and support, and praise your creative genius! We at MinistryTV look forward to your work. Everyone, go follow them, they deserve it!

*cue audience clap*

And Now, Ministry 📺TV presents.

Featuring @sadistic-cardinal

SC:

✨️🐦‍🔥Combiverse🦋✨️

Double Feature Episode: 

🐦‍🔥I brought you Back Wrong🐦‍🔥

https://www.tumblr.com/sadistic-cardinal/768327747780149248/i-brought-you-back-wrong-sadisticcardinal?source=share

✨️🔮✨️

🦋Fixed, doesn’t mean Broken🦋

https://www.tumblr.com/zombocomme/771259673010634752/sc?source=share

Enjoy

Terzo stirred awake and his eyes went wide. He couldn't move. He couldn't speak. Eyes were open, staring on a fixed point and he could feel himself panicking. Trying everything he could to spasm his diaphragm into a different rhythm, to wake up. 

Wake up! Wake up! Wake Up! 

Rearing its ugly head, the sleep demon pressing on his chest, he could only imagine, but he knew

He knew! He Knew!

*The suffocating feeling was caused somehow in the night, as he had scrunched up against the pillow and headboards. Surely he would die! They would find purple fibers from the pillow case in his nostrils! And Omega, where was his Omega…*

Where *was* his Omega?

He felt tears leaking on his face adding to the cacophony of sensations screaming alarm bells in his aging brain. His Omega he..he felt like he should know him to be here. 

*A moment ago he was somewhere else and now he was awake and paralyzed like this. As real as you or me sitting in a normal place, talking to our usual people, and suddenly you blink. In the middle of somewhere else, some other reality, surely!* 

Surely you must be dreaming, 

*Conjuring up the nightmare of uncanny valleys and liminal spaces*

 Though you don't remember where you were in one that felt so

 painful, so 

confusing,

 ripped constantly ,

from one time and place to another.

 *Like his mind was just hard resetting over and over. It frightened him. And he wanted to cry*

As Terzo's stomach fluttered with panic he knew  he was wrong, something was wrong!  

Ombra 

Would have been here already!*

His his ombra! His ombra!

Would have been here, would have been here!

*Saving him*

 Why couldn't anyone save him! Why was no one coming?... Why is no one saving him! Why was no one coming?...

*He was scared, by himself, like a child with no one to hold his hand, no one to curl into, and no one to hold his racing heart. And Terzo knew it. Something horrible must have happened if the Quintessence Ghoul, his undying heart, was not coming to fix him, to save him*

Fat tears dribbled from his eyes as they held open,  straining to look elsewhere, anything familiar in this raging storm to hold stead-fast to, until.. Until…

Until something else happened

…Something perhaps more frightening than the last, but at least he would be able to fucking breath!

"Nnnnn.. hrnnn.... hmrnnnn-... nnn!"

Was all he could manage, unable to make sustained noises or raise their volume in alarm, or even in just his helplessness, cry for help. 

*For this torture to end!* 

Where was the help? Who was the help? Where, who? Where, who? 

He recognized no one, he recognized nothing…

*It was like those pictures meant to mimic the imagery one sees while having a stroke. Everything familiar, nothing identified, a cruel game of guess if this is real,guess if this will disappear anyways… He prayed it wasn't real. This world where everything felt out of body. Everything felt fake. People looked at him the way he had deeply, always, feared to be seen like…serving platitudes and sly their saccharine smiles or worse, gaze on in fear... 

*Of course, he would fear, when everyone looks at you like a monster, recoiling in thinly veiled horror at his very presence… an insect in a glass prison, under scrutiny, ever watched and ever ridiculed…* 

He couldn't remember. He knew he couldn't. He couldn't remember. He knew he couldn't

He knew nothing half the time, only that everything felt "not right" and the constant plague of that was an all encompassed maddening maelstrom, choking his spirit. And now he was helpless, paralyzed, alone, and suffocating in a stranger's bed... 

*Oh well. At least it was the beautiful color he liked*

The name, what was it? Did it matter? Ombra? What was it? Did it matter? The color’s name…

*He was sure he was dying…*

Omega returned to the room. Dark circles bruised his eyes, red from crying, jaded expression smeared on his face. Terzo looked asleep and he knew no better. 

Except the soft breath of sound that sounded horribly off. Something wasn’t right.

The Ghoul rushed to Terzos' side seeing the tears and his limp rigor. 

"Oh dear, oh, don't worry Papa, I'll help you, I’ll help you!" he said trying to move gently and quickly, though he knew Terzo’s perspective of him likely was that, a strange ghoul, large and crazed looking was rushing him, putting hands on him, pushing him around and the constant "HNNN! HNNGGNN!' the man clenched, did everything but snap Omega's mind in half. 

He was overwhelmed, heart broken...a horrible thought crossed his mind that made him nearly drop Terzo in the shock of his unfiltered mind, free of Quintessence and so severed in connection that he could think it....

*Would it be better to put the frail human out of his misery…He was always angry, frightened, unsatisfied, unhappy, uncomfortable, miserable, and  certainly not himself at all, not his old self at all, and the man was even wicked, when all Omega wanted to do was help. To love him. To love him so far  and so hard that maybe, maybe… it would fix his poor Terzo, who was literally coming apart

At the seams.

As Omega moved to sit behind Terzo propping the limp form up he spoke gently, holding Terzo’s hand, the other circling to cover his shoulder on the front side where his racing heart shot violently across and down Terzo’s arm, the pain of the angina, blinding. 

What’s more, Terzo couldn't stand the touch of a stranger and here Omega was, both restraining and supporting him.

The Ghoul  braced for the string of insults and irrationalities that would surely be hurled his way but, as Terzos breath hitched, and the sleep paralysis finally began to wear off, he leaned back into Omega, his hand squeezing omegas, for the first time in, so…so damn long…

Omega kept his distance to arms length though he desperately wanted to encircle them around his long lost love and cry in the crook of his neck, but it would frighten the frail human...

But blessedly, as Terzo squeezed his eyes shut, hiccuping his sobs of overwhelm and fear, Omega, his voice shaky, brushed his thumb in small circles over the spot he knew Terzo was feeling pain because he had seen it before…despite the man’s feeble struggling and squirming, despite the aid being so lovingly rendered, even if it was killing omega everyday Omega tried again….

Music and memory amore... music and memory...

He had tried before and felt the pain of failure, but even in this suffering he would try again, if only on the off chance it worked at least Terzo, though he wouldn't remember it at all, would at least right here and now, feel some relief in his shattered mind and broken body...

"Can you hear me say, your name

Forever... can you see me longing for you, forever" 

Omega faltered, his voice thick and his body trembling holding back the tears.

*it wasn't fair goddammit! It wasn't fair...*

"Would you let me touch your soul forever.Can you hear me say your name forever?

Can you see me longing for you forever?"

Terzo groaned and squeezed ,pushing back against the ghoul, like he was fighting the invisible demons that plagued his poor soul, up front, and jerky movements trying to bring life back into his limbs pushed away at the same time because well…

It wasn't right. He didn't belong. A stranger in *his own life.

 Omega kept his tone kind and gentle, even though it was so fucking hard to do especially  when Terzo was lashing out, scratching, hitting, biting, kicking.

*Who was this stranger breathing behind him, he had been dying he knew it! And for all he knew the brute behind him was going to let it happen!*

"Can you feel me longing for you forever, forever?"

Omega focused his mind… satan below, it was so hard.

*Even Terzo was calm sometimes between the wandering that made omega sick with worry because Terzo could be napping on the recliner and omega could glow to the kitchen, fill a glass, come back, and Terzo was already, "going to go get ready for his sermon"...*

*It was nonsense saying “you don't do those anymore, no the place you were in is your home now, papal rooms are for someone else, no you're not a papa anymore, no you're not you any more. No,no, always no, that never worked...Redirect. Keep calm and redirect.

“Ok Papa, there's renovations in there, lets go but after we put some shoes on you, your feet will get cold on the stone on the way there hmm? You’ll catch a cold and won’t be able to get through your sermon without the sniffles, goodness no, let's cover those feet, and we’ll go straight there:... until something else happens. And not always harder or easier than the first…*

“I know the light grows darker down below

But in your eyes it's gone before you know

This is the moment of just-.... just...-"

Omega closed his eyes, willing the universe to remember him. Not himself. HIM. The love of his life.

Those long years he had lost Terzo and wept over his grave... and then to weep ever more, the body here and the person still lost to him. His salted tears burning the ground with infernal suffering...

 But he wept not for himself... 

No. No. No...always no...

It was because he begged the indifferent stars that they ease Terzos suffering. That they give him anything, anything, boon, blessing, to let Terzo know he wasn't alone. He was safe. And he was LOVED!!!

 Omega stifled the sobs, beginning again, opening his eyes to look down on that beautiful raven head, covered in silver like starlight 

"This is the moment of just-.... letting go"

"*-go'*" Terzo mumbled.

There was a pause, it lasting one skipped heartbeat

Omega's eyes widened as he picked up gently, and sang still in the memory of the night they had truly, honest-to-god, devil-be-damned, fallen in love all over again in the recording studio. 

*Terzo had begun writing something that was sorely cut from the Meliora album...and after he hd been killed, his sweet brother Copia had to take over,. Resurrecting the music he included it on the next album as a beautiful "Fuck You" to the clergy thay had taken Terzo’s crown from him, as well as his head... And somehow Terzo had remembered that fleeting moment in that recording studio so strongly… it was a memory that Omega had once latched on to,to bring some peace to his own heart, a hymn to his weary soul...

…But that also meant, that singular memory, where it was just Omega and Terzo plucking on strings and keys, a pen in one mouth and another kissing a cheek... Terzo was remembering something unique. Something only, for Omega to remember...*

...When terzo was really singing to his love. And where Omega played for his muse, his goddam world...

"She said

"*she, said*" echoed

A tear blinked from Omega's eye.

*"*If you had life E-Ter-Nall...*"* together

🔮🔮[He Is plays: https://open.spotify.com/track/3qTx27TBmkedqbdpB7VfdX?si=anyj9heTR_ev9ZojHtHmfQ

Terzo hummed softly in contentment, his eyes closed , having fluttered shut to more closely hold fast to the remembering… knowing this very emotion within the every fibre of his being!

"Mm...Omega, it is nice to hear your voice Mia Ombra. Please, don't stop...don't stop..."

The beautiful smile, proudly displaying the wrinkle lines of his face having lived such a life as to smile like that, to etch it forever in his aging face. And yet he still was the most beautiful creature Omega had ever, ever seen…

"Of course, mea stella" he said warmly, wrapping his arm around Terzo, hugging him from behind. "What shall we sing?"

 Terzo smiling wrapped his own arm around his long time love, the Ghoul whom he had given his whole heart...

"’He is’, Si? We like that one! Hm…" he hummed again, as if drowsy...

A wet crooked smile spread over Omega’s face, his mind, his heart, his soul.

"Of course, mea stella. As you wish..."

"Al-ways, caro." Terzo said, the little smug reply something he did automatically. A gesture he sang with his "Mia Ombra", his Omega whenever they were together.

Omega sighed with relief for the few minutes this blessed moment of reprieve would grant them.

 Even finite, Omega realized he was the blessing, the boon, he was what Terzo needed. And his face scrunched with sweet tears of joy blooming with a familiar warmth, like a faithful candle that had never gone out between them...

 *For in this moment Terzo knew. He wasn't alone. He was safe. And, he was LOVED...*

And so did Omega.

*"He is…" They sang...

Enjoying, together at last, the same plane of reality, remembering that moment because truly they had lived together, on and off the stage. 

Ah, the crowds create such a heavenly chorus..

 Terzo's song had shone like a light forever, the beauty of that night, forever etched in Omega's own smile...

*The shining of the light without whom he could not see...*

🔮Listen until 

And ever after, though Terzo may get lost, maybe even confused or afraid, his Ombra, he knew was always there… even unto the very end…indeed, he was…

“El Fine”🔮

*montage of Omega and Terzo on stage at this concert. Forever remembered this way, like the ending of a film*

✨️🐦‍🔥Fin🦋✨️

[richeeduvie]

why can I see Lalo taking Princesa to one of those forgotten-liminal space department store areas and fucking her on a brand new mattress and bedding set that his ass doesn’t even pay for after ruining it

February brain rot

He makes sure it's, like, thirty minutes to closing, so no one's there. Lalo likes the idea of someone coming in, watching him take what no one could have. But at the same time, he just wants to make love with Princesa anywhere and everywhere without anyone "imposing" on them. You know the woman will do whatever he wants, and then she ends up wanting it more than him.

"You like the chance someone could come in and see you bent for me, huh?"

"Uh-huh."

Princesa's back arches for him. Lalo slows in his thrust.

"Really?"

"Uh-huh?"

Well, he doesn't know what to say to that.

[necromancers-incorporated]

TMAGP Thoughts, Ep8

EPISODE EIGHT: RUNNING ON EMPTY

1. Course work? Hm? Terrence why was your work late?

2. Medical trauma? Oh?

3. Okay, psychologically disturbing architgeture. Spiral anyone?

4. Liminal spaces, that sounds horrible.

5. Brutal liminalism. Your own experiences?

6. IM SORRY ARCHITECTURAL HUNGER

7. Time distortions

8. Sentient buildings, oh okay.

9. Folton services

10. BIG TOWER BIG TOWER BIG TOWER PENINE TOWER FUCKING PANOPTICON ANYONE

11. HELEN!?

12. Spiral stranger and lonely combo?

13. The vast too now?

14. Bring in the flesh why don't you. Fucking Cannibalism

15. Alice bullying Gwen love this

16. Colin on mental health leave? Good for him

17. GERRY FUCKING KEAY GERRY FUCKING KEAY

18. Why does he sound happy and full of joy it's so wrong

19. FUCKING GERTRUDE WHAT THE SHIT

20. GRANDSON!? GG? WHY AND WHAT

21. Magnus Institute!

22. CHILDREN'S PROGRAMME!?

23. Fuck off. No. I can't.

24. CELIA WHAT

25. TIME TRAVEL AND OTHER DIMENSIONS AND TELEPORTATION

26. She's on a podcast

27. GEORGIE!? IM SORRY WHAT

[antirepurp]

First time experiencing liminal space was ShTH in the ark mission with Maria. Why the fuck was everything built like at? After you kill everything, it just turns so empty

ohh bro you're gonna make me love this game even more because those ARK levels are absolutely shaped all fucky like that. especially the doom, it might be the one you're thinking of because the stage model looks like this from top down

like. it's a video game level, of course it's not going Make Sense. these games have highways with loopty loops that float in mid-air, and it's fine because it's a video game. but that also ingrains this kind of liminality to them that's very unique and hard to see unless you choose to engage with it. the doom is perfectly fine in the context of being a video game level, but makes no sense as a segment of a space colony inhabited by people. this is all corridors and small interconnected rooms, with some larger halls in-between to break things up, none of it was designed to really Make Sense. when you're just playing the level as intended its fine and you don't really think much about it, but if you linger it reveals how strange everything feels and it is. so beautiful actually. i am holding this game in my arms again ah

[whoiwanttoday]

Happy Easter everyone. I could try to twist myself in knots explaining why Joey King is appropriate for Easter but I won't because I don't think it will go very productive directions, let me just give you the cliff notes of where my brain would go: antisemitism is probably the most widely accepted and prevalent form of bigotry in the sense that it is the one that has always been bipartisan and is readily accepted everywhere I have seen in my life, it is persistent for about 2000 years, and actually Pilot was the bad guy and the narrative that he was this poor dude who had no choice is bullshit since the historical record makes it clear he was a very oppressive governor who did lots of shitty things to the local populace. So there you go, the Romans killed Jesus, deal with it. Anyway, Joey King is promoting something in New York and I am not sure what but she has been at a lot of shows and stuff and she has looked fantastic leaving her hotel and showing up at shows and I have been waiting for better pictures and they are not coming. The thing is, she has dressed so well I couldn't not post her so here she is on her way to other places. I know the kids love their liminal spaces and they use that word to mean spooky but actually these are liminal spaces I in the more literal sense, in that they exist for her to transition from one place to another. Enjoy your Easter Liminal Spaces guys. Today I want to fuck Joey King.