#this is why endverse cas is drugged

[rubyrubyrubytuesday]

it's always so funny to see a hate post for a ship that somehow perfectly encapsulates why i ship it

[valleydean]

The Beginning

Story by: valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) Art by: sidewinder @hawkland

Rating: Explicit

Word count: ~118k

Tags/archive warnings: endverse, zombie apocalypse, graphic depictions of violence, blood and gore, drug use, animal death, Dean POV, Cas POV, Castiel's loss of angelic grace, newly human Castiel, jealous Dean, fear of abandonment, angst, rough sex, body horror, internalized homophobia, denial, minor Cas/OC, drugs as a coping mechanism, sex as a coping mechanism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn, slow build, codependency

Summary: One year ago, soon after Lucifer was freed from the Cage, Dean and Sam parted ways. Since then, Dean has been hunting on his own and, along with Cas despite his declining grace, searching for a way to prevent the apocalypse. When the outbreak of the Croatoan virus begins, Dean and Cas head to Bobby’s to plan their next move. On the way, as the contagion rapidly spreads through America, they must contend with the rabid infected, martial law, and humans who will do anything to ensure their own survival.

Preview:

Cas stepped to the other side of the door and turned around to face Dean. Dean stopped walking, looking forward at Cas and waiting for him to say anything at all.

When he did, it was, “In there.”

Dean pulled his brows together, his eyes flashing to the dark window panel in the door. The directional light of his flashlight bounced off of it, obscuring whatever was inside. The glass was a deeply black mirror.

His gut clenched, feeling like someone had shoved their hand into his intestines and was trying to rip them out. He slowly brought his face closer to the window. His transparent reflection stared back pensively. He looked beyond it, squinting and refocusing his eyes.

There were bodies in there—maybe three of four. He couldn’t really tell. Some of them were in pieces. Pools of blood soaked them, glinting like a knife in the moonlight that fought its way through the dirty windows.

Dean opened his mouth, about to ask what the hell happened.

Something slammed against the other side of the glass. A bloody hand. Dean jumped back, his shout echoing down the hall. It shattered the bubble of silence—so, too, did the banging on the glass as the man inside tried to beat his way out of the room. His dripping red fists pounded incessantly, leaving smears on the window. He was giving off animalistic grunts and hisses.

“What the…” Dean said, his heart still in his throat. He looked at Cas, demanding an answer. Part of him wanted to blame Cas, to ask him why the hell he slaughtered people and left them in a room. But maybe they weren’t people. Then, what? Demons? Monsters?

Something didn’t add up.

The man kept doing everything he could to bust through the glass. Dean noticed the paring knife clutched in his fist.

Cas didn’t kill those people.

“I led them here and locked them inside,” Cas said, as if he’d read Dean’s mind. “They killed each other.”

The lines of Dean’s forehead bunched up when he lifted his brows in surprise. There was something he was missing. It felt like a forgotten word on the tip of his tongue. A distorted memory from a faded dream.

“You’ve seen this before,” Cas supplied. “The Croatoan virus.”

The words hit Dean like a truck. Blanching, he said, “Croatoan? You mean, the thing that turns everybody into Jack Torrance?”

“No, the demon virus that triggers murderous actions in anyone who contracts it,” Cas corrected, and Dean was still too busy freaking out to tell Cas they pretty much said the same thing. Pressing his lips together, Cas turned his gaze on the door, and there was a subdued kind of despondency in them, like he was trying to control how much emotion he showed on his face. “It’s one of the signs of the apocalypse. This is Lucifer’s doing. He unleashed the Horseman Pestilence.”

“Pestilence,” Dean echoed, the word taking a long time to process. He remembered, thirteen months ago, when he and Sam cut the ring off War’s fingers. That had been the day he and Sam parted ways. Dean hadn’t seen his brother since. He’d only talked to him once on the phone, when Sam called him a few weeks later to tell Dean that Lucifer wanted him as his meatsuit.

Dean rattled his head, trying to shake loose any thoughts of Sam. He focused on Cas saying, “The entire town’s been infected.”

Dean remembered how quickly the virus spread—and how it spread. An infected person had to bleed into someone’s open wound. Once the blood mixed, that was it. Soon after, the victim would turn into a one-track-mind, bloodthirsty monster.

He glanced back at the doorway. The man was still standing behind the glass, looking at Dean like he was lunch, but at least he’d stopped pounding on the window.

“It isn’t the only one,” Cas continued. “There are pockets of the virus across America—possibly the world.”

How hadn’t Dean heard about this? His chest felt too small, like his ribcage was shrinking around his heart and lungs. “Where’d it start?”

“I don’t know.”

Coming this October to @deancashorrorfest

[funkytownwinchester]

SPN Gif Masterlist

Parallels

Jack and Cas - "I love you. I love you all."

Sam and Dean - "I can't do this alone."

Dean - S01 vs. S12

Misc (Actors)

Jensen and Jared pose for the camera

Jensen and Jared dancing/striking poses in blooper reels

Jensen's smile

Jensen winks at the camera

Jensen laughing in bloopers - part 1

Jensen laughing in bloopers - part 2

Jared laughing in bloopers

Misha laughing in bloopers

Jared looking good

Dancing in the cage

"I've got dialogue."

Jared's social media joke

Jensen squishing Jared's arm

Jensen throws a bottle at Jared's head

Misc (Characters)

Out of context reaction images

Sam helping Dean through moments of anxiety

Dean cradling Sam's face

Dean's nicknames for Cas

Crowley poses

Dean opens Sam's beer

Cas flirts with the camera

Dean's little wiggle

Cas and Dean dancing

Smiling family

Dean fights a pillow

"Why were you praying to him?" / "'cause he's my friend."

Dean eating a powdered donut

Dean clings to Sam

Dean's knees stop working

Dean in a vest

Dean tackles Sam

Click 'keep reading' for a list of all my gifs, separated by seasons.

Season 1

S01E01 - "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole."

S01E01 - Sam and Dean interview two girls in a cafe

S01E01 - Dean's boobs

S01E05 - Dean smashes the mirror terrorising Sam

S01E14 - Dean being a big brother to Sam

Season 2

S02E03 - "Lighten up, Sammy!"

S02E04 - Sam and Dean, the grief counselors

S02E09 - Dean refuses to let anyone hurt Sam

S02E10 - Ava attends therapy

S02E15 - Conjoined twins

S02E19 - Dean gets his mugshot taken

S02E19 - Dean and Sam bicker in front of Deacon

S02E20 - Dean escapes his djinn-cursed reality

S02E22 - "You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Season 3

S03E03 - Sam loses his shoe

S03E06 - Dean loses it when Bella has his car towed

S03E07 - Dean gets fed on and tossed around

S03E11 - "Rise 'n' shine, Sammy!"

S03E11 - Dean asks if a bra he found is Sam's

S03E11 - Sam makes it to Wednesday for the last time

S03E14 - Dean's little eyebrow wiggle

Season 4

S04E08 - Dean says 'please'.

S04E10 - Alistair chokes Cas

Season 5

S05E03 - Cas calls Raphael a little bitch

S05E07 - Dean's happy dance

S05E08 - Son of a bitch

S05E14 - Endverse!Cas laughing at everything that pisses endverse!Dean off

S05E17 - "Don't ask stupid questions."

S05E22 - Cas, the little angel

S05E22 - Dean's not gonna let Sam die alone

Season 6

S06E03 - Dean prays to Cas

S06E11 - Bobby's suicide joke

Season 7

S07E02 - Dean talking Sam down during hallucinations

S07E09 - Dean gets drugged by a sandwich

S07E21 - Cas giggles

S07E21 - The aftermath of Cas taking on Sam's trauma

Season 8

S08E04 - "Do I really say awesome a lot?"

S08E05 - Benny bickering with Cas

S08E10 - Cas is tormented

S08E20 -Dean asks Sam to punch him

Season 9

S09E05 - Dean hopes to interrogate a canine witness using a spell that lets him speak with animals

S09E11 - Sam the guinea pig

S09E11 - "It's the bloody mark of Cain!"

S09E15 - Thinman tries to kill Dean

S09E16 - "You don't know what it's like to be human!"

S09E22 - "I got this."

S09E22 - Cas and word play

Season 10

S10E02 - Demon!Dean looking hot.

S10E05 - "I'm gonna Barbra Streisand this bitch."

S10E06 - Murphy's law

S10E08 - Dean's pretend job

S10E14 - Dean collapses on Sam's shoulder

Season 11

S11E03 - Cas collapses from the attack dog spell

S11E16 - Bobby asks if Rufus has ever been nice

S11E16 - Sam holds Dean

S11E19 - Dean teases Sam for smoking in college

S11E21 - Dean informs Sam that he's babbling

Season 12

S12E09 - Cas doesn't regret saving the Winchesters (part 1)

S12E10 - Cas doesn't regret saving the Winchesters (part 2)

Season 13

S13E08 - Someone insults Sam in front of Dean

S13E18 - Ketch cares for Dean

S13E16 - "Be like Elsa; let it go."

Season 14

S14E03 - Dean makes fun of Sam's beard.

S14E04 - Sam's messed up childhood.

Season 15

S15E01 - Dean tells a joke while cleaning Sam's wound

S15E08 - Cas being sarcastic

[wanderingcas]

ok oh no the reverse!verse idea i thought of yesterday is starting to break my brain a little. dean as an angel. hasn't been tortured in hell or lost his mom in a fire, instead has gone through millennia of seeing humans go through hardship and comes out the other side. loves humanity for that, so when he sees cas, who has had every bad deal handed to him, persevering even when things seem bad, he's charmed by him. cas as a human hunter is more endverse-tinged, smokes and does occasional drugs to take the edge off because he's gonna die young anyway, why treat your body like a temple, hunting beside anna his older sister he'd do anything for. blah blah blah, canon parallels, cut to when dean made an empty deal to save his almost-kid emma who was born as the literal antichrist and he and cas are trapped with billy coming for them and he says the confession, in his own way, and leaves cas empty and broken. but instead of saving the world - cas says fuck the world, actually. i'm getting my angel back. and he does everything he can to get him.

[youchangedmedestiel]

omg please tell us about your endverse Cas and Stanford era Dean WIP!!

I'm so happy you asked about this one. The idea came from this art and the ficlet that goes with it on the link above. See for me it looks like Endverse Cas and Stanford era Dean. Probably because Dean looks younger since he doesn’t have a beard. So I worked with that.

And then, I wrote this:

What if, Endverse Cas ended up somehow in early 2005. Just before everything went sideways, because despite acting all defeated, he still has hope to save Dean. Because this is what this is all about. He loves Dean and wants to save him from being hopeless and helpless after Sam said yes to Lucifer. He wants to avoid him that nightmare.

So, he finds a way.

He meets Dean in a bar, drinking alone. His father out on a hunt somewhere and Sam in Stanford.

Cas talks with him and buys him a beer. He tells him he is a hunter, lies about knowing John Winchester to gain Dean’s trust. Because what does he have to lose?

He knows Dean so well. He recognizes him so easily. He changed but not really. He is still him. Still the most loving human being he knows. Still beautiful, still Dean Winchester.

They exchange about hunt stories and Dean just confesses about the current case he is working on. Cas lies that this is why he is here, to work on the same one. And Dean offers to join forces. He invites him in his motel room, because Dean is not as wary as he became, because Cas didn’t betray him yet and he is still young.

They work that case together. Cas feels almost like an angel, it’s like he can fly again. He doesn’t want to leave Dean’s side, he’s got to make sure he is safe.

Dean accepts his help, that’s not the first time he worked with another hunter that is not his family. Plus, the guy knows how to use a gun, and a blade. He is surprisingly good at it for someone who is on drugs all the time.

One night, he settles in his queen bed, next to Dean’s, his joint in his mouth. Dean approaches to take it out of his mouth, mumbling something about the smell being so strong he feels like it never leaves his clothes. But Cas grabs his wrist before he can do anything and pulls him on top of him. Dean obviously falls on him, surprised and struggling. But Cas’s hands on him are so gentle and so careful. The kind of touch he never received from a man. Especially not his father.

So he melts into it. He closes his eyes, when fingers snake between his locks. He gasps when soft lips brush his. He just lies there, when a hand strokes his back.

When Cas kisses Dean’s neck, his stubble scratches Dean’s throat.

Maybe Cas took too much drugs, or Dean inhaled a lot of it, because at some point Cas offers Dean to ride him and Dean accepts. They both strip and settle back on the bed.

[what-if-i-just-did]

Destiel Prompt List 16. Endverse!Cas confuses Dean by flirting with him.

Trigger Warnings: very direct and sexual flirtations, lots of mentions of seks, implied drug-addict, mention of suicide

This isn't Cas..

"Well, I uh, I don't suppose you'd care to join us, then?" Cas.. not-Cas says. Dean looks around. "You mean- the girls- the.. you want me to what?" He totally glitches. What? Not-Cas laughs. "Oh yeah... ahh, I miss you, you know. This.. version of you. I miss when you cared." And that, that makes sense, because from what he can gather, this Dean seems to be an asshole. "I miss when you cared about me. "We'll find a way to make you an Angel again, Cas, don't worry", "Don't drown yourself in drugs, Cas, they won't help. They're not real. I'm real.", "You can't do that, it's suicide!"... You barely even look at me now, you know. Only ever for orders, and then you look away. I miss when we'd just stare at eachother, you know. Do we still do that in your time?" Cas says, and he's taken several steps closer, and he's looking at Dean's eyes now. Dean holds his gaze without even thinking about it, but he doesn't realize how sad he looks. Oh Cas, he thinks. How could I ever do this to you? Underneath that, though, lies why is he talking like that and why is he standing so close and are we..? we can't be and if we are and this is how I treat him, I'll kill myself.

Then Cas looks him up and down. "Wellll..." he draws out. "You're definetly looking good as ever. How are you feeling, Dean? You know, seks really can help you feel relaxed, you really should join us... or I could just call off the girls, we can just have.. fun.. together.." And he walks closer to Dean and his fingers are dancing across Dean's chest, and he's still wearing all his clothes but he feels incredibly naked. "Uhm- what?" he blurts. Dean's entire brain's short-circuited. He can't even think anymore. Because Cas is standing right there, touching his chest like that and asking Dean if he wants to have seks and the smug bastard knows it too, you cal tell, but it isn't Cas, not really, it's some kind of messed-up, high, version of Cas and Dean doesn't want that but he wants this even if he hasn't admitted it to himself but what exactly is he supposed to do now?

Not-Cas eases off. "Or not." he says, and he ducks his head, but Dean's still too far gone to tell if he's hiding smugness or dejectedness or something else, and Cas takes a few steps backwards. "I think you should probably go find Dean. We'll figure out how to get you back, I guess."

[roachingurcoach]

“So spare me your contempt Castiel, the self-hating Angel of Thursday. You know what every other version of you did after ‘gripping him tight and raising him from Perdition?’ They did what they were told. But not you. Not the one off the line with a crack in his chassis."

Chuck was a lying liar who lies, and here's why:

Apocalypse!verse Castiel was scarred and insane. You could argue that the scarring perhaps had something to do with his alternate Jimmy Novak, who was still his vessel, or maybe excessive battling in the war they were in the middle of (and all the wars that came before), but there is a very high possibility that his mental state and appearance were due to frequent 'reprogramming' (a.k.a. brainwashing involving extreme torture). In season eight, we are shown scenes of Naomi torturing Castiel in order to get him to comply with her commands with a device that is needle-shaped and drill-like, involving puncturing mainly the face and very close to the eyes. Apocalypse!verse Castiel's face and eyes are heavily scarred-- to me, this implies that he had to be 'reset' so many times that even his grace couldn't keep up with the healing needed on his vessel, and damaged his mind to the point of being unrecognizable as who we know of as Castiel. He fought to rebel and go against Heaven and Chuck's chosen narrative for his universe (though he likely didn't know about that) so many times that he lost his mind and his capability of performing free will through excessive torture.

Arguably, this Castiel didn't have a Dean, and therefore must have been compliant, because he had no catalyst to not do what he was told. While he didn't have a Dean to encourage him in this universe to rebel in the large way he did in the mainverse, we know that Castiel rebelled before, though those rebellions were smaller, and the 'corrections' made of him weren't escaped. Multiple times throughout the show, other angels derisively remark about Castiel's rebellious nature, even before we see them interacting with him regularly, and before he's committed multiple acts of rebellion on screen after meeting the Winchesters, mainly Dean. Further on, angels admit that Castiel has been brainwashed before (as seen when Castiel tells Dean he 'doesn't serve man, and certainly doesn't serve (him)' (paraphrased) after previously being friendly to Dean and assisting him, exhibiting a strange behavioral change after he returns from Heaven), also implying that his memories of said events have been wiped (he doesn't know he's being controlled by Naomi until the crypt scene in season eight, and considering he didn't know who she was when she was so familiar with him, his memory must have been altered). While some of these things may have been throwaway detailing, later down the line they were built upon, and grew to indicate that at heart, Castiel actively pushes to achieve free will and do what he believes is right.

Endverse!Castiel was still partially recognizable as our Castiel, and for what we had seen of him at that point in time, he behaved understandably for someone who spent most of his existence angelic and fully-powered with constant access to his trueform and a supply of grace: he drowned himself in various chemicals through sex and/or drugs in order to avoid focusing on his near-humanity and his powerlessness when he used to be able to perform feats no human could ever top, escape from fights without a scratch, and maybe even just communicate with other angels and his friends(?) in Heaven, who had by that point abandoned him for staying behind. With Dean. Who was even more of a dick to him, and Castiel still stayed by his side, even if they no longer got along.

In this universe, we also see Chuck, who could have been (and most likely was) included there as merely a familiar person, but in retrospect, one of his lines and his very presence can be taken to mean something else.

"Yeah. I don't think Cas is going anywhere." (Chuck Shurley to Past!Dean Winchester in The End)

This line is said with a smile on his face, and a kind of what, are you kidding? look at Dean. Partially because Dean should know where Castiel is, and partially because Castiel is. Not. Leaving. In the future, we know that Chuck is god, and very likely, that means he has been god for a good long time. This means he was present and 'managing' the Endverse, whose timeline was slightly ahead of past!Dean's universe (which we know is possible with Chuck making a claim about what every other Castiel did (in the past tense)).

Knowing that he was/is god, and knowing that he liked to interfere when a 'story' didn't go the way he'd planned or wanted, Chuck's statement about Castiel not leaving and the expression on his face when he said so implies that he has tried to make Castiel leave, and every time, Castiel has found some way to thwart this, even unknowingly, and that Chuck has at this point resigned himself to his (yet another Castiel) not complying, even subconsciously, and has molded this world and Castiel in a way that he considers a compromise: he gets an ending where everyone dies in a way he sees fit. Both brothers are killed by Lucifer, and Castiel dies separately from his closest companions in battle for a borderline meaningless cause. Further reinforcement of Chuck having interfered with the Endverse and specifically Endverse!Castiel is when he tells Metatron (correct me if that's not who he says this to) that he doesn't even remember how many times he's reset or brought Castiel back, which indicates that Castiel has deviated from his written path many times before his more current ones in the main universe, and in all of Chuck's other universes with all of his other Castiels.

You may not agree with my takes on the validity or reality of the alternate worlds we were shown (e.g. the Endverse potentially being constructed fictionally by Zachariah in order to convince Dean to agree to being Michael's vessel), on characterizations of the AU!Castiels, or on when Chuck was god, but despite my potential inaccuracies, my various statements hold up as examples of Castiel being so very devoted to rebelling and/or staying with Dean Winchester that he required constant altering and monitoring in order to get him to stay in line and die when he was supposed to in Chuck's narrative in every single universe he exists.

Castiel rebelled in every universe, and in most of them, he was finally broken free because of Dean. They may not have won in those universes, but they were a thorn in Chuck's side that lead to his defeat* in the main universe.

*if you believe that Chuck didn't win in the mainverse.

[nym-wibbly]

I'd just about kill for the canonical backstory on this statement. 2014 Cas was so different, so damaged - so differently damaged to his timeline-equivalent Dean, who's all hard edges and cold purpose. Yet the episode implies they've made the journey together.

What left Endverse!Cas soft and bleak and open and emotionally articulate? Did he crawl through broken glass hell to get here, dragging himself up from nowhere to achieve this level of function and resignation, or has it been a slow, blurry slide from grace into decadence with the bumps softened to meaningless by drugs, booze, and orgies? Why does he package the last one with the 'love guru crap' as if there's still a point to existence, a meaning beyond the moment, then act with Dean (both Deans) as if there isn't? And when did 2014!Dean stop looking at him the way 2009!Dean does?

THE END (5x04)

[amemipiacitu]

Me: Lord please, why can't I have a in-real-life Castiel for myself?

The Lord: you mean a drug addicted who'd cheat on you with any living being like Endverse Cas?

Me: well, no, not again, please...

The Lord: oh, what was his name?

Me: nevermind.

The Lord: ok, so what about a narcissistic mofo who believe he's God and want you to be his servant like season 6 Castiel?

Me:...

The Lord: you had that one already if I recall correctly.

Me: yeah, I did. It didn't work, thanks!

The Lord: Gotcha! What about a regular Cas?

Me: Yes! Exactly!

The Lord: ...too busy with his war, trying to get you involved, sometimes lying to you in order to have things his way...

Me: ...damnit.

The Lord: we tried that too, didn't we?

[deancasbigbang]

Title: And you're the sky

Author: Desirae

Artist: Caduceuzs

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Dean/Cas, background Gabriel/others

Length: 28000

Warnings: n/a

Tags: Pilot Cas/Chef Dean, mutual pining, roommates, insecure Dean, Castiel has endverse vibes, romcom, jealousy, recreational drug use, boys in love, happy ending

Posting Date: October 5, 2022

Summary:  Pilot, Castiel Novak left home, and the family business, more than a decade ago, after a falling out with his late father. But now, a desperate call for help from his brother has him returning home. Gabriel has been grounded from flying due to hypertension and needs Castiel to fill in for him until he is cleared to fly again. Refusing to stay in the family home, Castiel is invited to use Gabriel’s best friend’s spare room; only when he arrives, Castiel is shocked to discover that his new roommate is a former one-night stand; one that he had thought of many times over the years. Dean Winchester, a man with his own demons, and didn’t let them define his life.   Falling into a routine— talks with Dean over morning coffee, reconnecting with his brother, and flying the route he’s known like the back of his hand since he was a kid— is easier for Castiel than he ever imagined. It was everything he always wanted.   Dean was everything he ever wanted. All Castiel needed to do was stay.

Excerpt: “Alright, Gabe, pull up a stool and tell me why you've been acting like a toddler with a sugar rush?” “These stools are bolted in-”  “Shut up and sit down. What's going on with you?” Dean studied his friend, even more concerned now when his usually bright golden-brown eyes looked downright miserable. Gabriel sighed, and it was a defeated sound. “I've been grounded.” Dean’s brows rose. That wasn't what he was expecting. " Until I can get my blood pressure under control, I can't fly,” Gabriel continued, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser and shredding it agitatedly.  “And I know I have Kevin, but he's a junior pilot; he can't fly all the hours. His mother would kill me.” Gabriel had that right. Linda Tran was a force to be reckoned with and was already pretty upset that Kevin had given up going into politics to become a pilot.  “I’ll have to put out an ad, and who knows how long that could take. If I don’t get another pilot soon, I could go under." Dean chewed on his cheek, debating about whether or not to say something, then figured why not. The worst Gabriel could do was shoot down his idea. “What about your brother? He's a pilot, too, isn't he?” It was a testament to how off Gabriel was that he didn’t end the conversation right then. “Things are complicated for my brother. I don’t know if he would even return my calls.” “Do you not speak at all?” “Cassie, he… he was my best friend. Dad fucked him over pretty bad. I’m not going to get into why; it’s not my story to tell, but when he left, he said he’d never come back. Not as long as Dad was still on the island.” Dean regarded his friend,” Well, he isn’t here now,” he said gently. “And if you and your brother were as close as you say, maybe he’ll be grateful for the chance to come back and help you out.” Gabriel looked doubtful but gave a half-hearted shrug.  “I’ll think about it.” “You will?” Dean asked, brow raised, and Gabriel sighed again. “Yeah. If I can’t find someone by the end of the month, I’ll call Castiel.”  

DCBB 2022 Posting Schedule

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2022 | Day 26 | Angst with a Happy Ending

pygmalion | googolplexbrown (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,448 Main Tags/Warnings: Artist Castiel, Model Dean, Arranged Marriage, brief infidelity, Minor Character Death, Suicide mention, Implied abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Castiel is a master artist with marble. Some claim he's a bit too much like the stone he works with. Cold, unfeeling, hard. Michael, a rich and powerful man in town, commissions a statue of his husband Dean.

parlor trick | googolplexbrown (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,672 Main Tags/Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Witch Cas, soldier Cas, Familiar Dean, Nonbinary Cas, Nonbinary Dean Summary: Having been trained as a soldier in their family's compound all their life, they never thought of magic being as magical as those children's books always made it sound. Until they met their familiar.

A Second Chance | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,267 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Inspired by A Christmas Carol, Christmas, , Implied/Referenced Character Death, Family Drama, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Second Chances, Ghosts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff Summary: When Dean pushes Castiel away for what is actually the last time when his father dies, he ends up seeing a younger version of his then-best-friend Castiel Novak in ghost form. He claims to be the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Kintsugi | leviarty (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,384 Main Tags/Warnings: Grief/Mourning, Bittersweet with a Happy Ending, Found Family, Post-Inherit the Earth (with some changes) Summary: One year. The longest year of his life.

A Sip of Wolfsbane (WIP) | @envydean

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9,124 Main Tags/Warnings: Werewolf Dean Winchester, but he doesn't know it, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst, Fluff, , graphic transformation, Wolfsbane, good dad john Summary: Dean is pretty sure he's sick but something tells him that a doctor isn't going to help. The medication he usually takes has run out, and he hasn't even told his fiancé, Castiel, why he takes it. Soon enough, Dean's idyllic life in their new house comes crashing down.

Smucker‘a & Shakespeare | @Sinelaborenihil

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,045 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Internalized Homophobia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel/Dean first kiss, Castiel/Dean first time having sex, Fluff & Smut, Porn with Feelings Summary: Following the events of Season 12 Episode 23 "All Along the Watchtower", Dean grieves the loss of Castiel until, impossibly, his angel is returned to him. Will Dean take this second chance to tell the angel with whom he shares a profound bond the truth of how he feels?

The Hunter's Oath | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 19,898 Main Tags/Warnings: Cabin Fic, Supernatural and Magical Elements, Fantasy, Slow Build, Angst, Isolation, Dean and Castiel Have a Profound Bond Summary: Tasked with the important tradition of fulfilling an Oath to a celestial being, Dean is feeling the weight of loneliness more and more, after years of isolation on the mountain. Until one night, he is gifted a surprise: the god himself shows up with the desire to explore their bond for a time. Dean goes along with it, having no choice, and prays that nobody notices he might have failed to keep the mountain undisturbed. When he learns more about his new companion and the truth behind the legend, however, Dean finds himself picturing a different kind of life. One that isn’t as solitary. And perhaps, even more peaceful than anticipated.

Unlocking The Circle (Размыкая круг) | EtoMaj (AO3) & Shoal_Man (AO3)

Rating: Mature Word Count: 20,545 Main Tags/Warnings: Endverse, Character Death, Orgy, Drugs, Happy Ending, Unhealthy Relationships, Fix-It, Time Loop Summary: Dean gets occasionally trapped in the End Of Time. Everything is wrong here, even Cas. Dean has to live the same day over and over again until he finds a way to fix this sick world. He has to become the wind of change or he`ll never get back home. (The text is in Russian)

But Water's Wider | @li-izumi

Rating: Mature Word Count: 29,622 Main Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Depression, suicide ideation, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel Whump, Found Family, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed, then some not platonic bed sharing and cuddling, Love Confessions, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Dean/Cas Big Bang 2019 (Supernatural), Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega Summary: Without his wings to guide his descent after he was banished by the intruder in the Bunker, Castiel crashes into the ground, leaving his body nearly as broken and bruised as his heart. Only his promise to Dean to protect Sam compels Castiel to stand up again. After days of dragging himself back to the Bunker, Castiel discovers that Sam is all right and Dean is alive! What should be a joyous reunion is marred by Castiel’s self-doubts. If the Winchesters don’t need him, and Heaven doesn’t want him, where does Castiel belong? [Canon divergent from the end of 11x23 Alpha and Omega]

A Thrill of Hope | @lotsofquestionslimitedanswers

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40,262 Main Tags/Warnings: Time travel, angst with a happy ending, implied/referenced child abuse, head injury, temporarily human Cas, Christmas fic, canon-typical violence, touch-starved Dean Winchester Summary: 2021 Castiel gets sent back in time and can only return to his time when he convinces Dean that everything will be okay. Easy; right? No. Because the Dean Castiel is sent to visit is twenty-two-year-old Dean whose brother just left for college and his father has ditched him a few days before Christmas.

Any Other Day (WIP) | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Mature Word Count: 118,523 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Compliant, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Domestic, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Caretaker Dean, Sharing a Bed, Grace Sex Summary: Victor just wants to finally enjoy his weekend. But when weird reports of a man in a trench coat having been arrested for murder in some small town in Colorado are coming in and the names of the Winchester brothers are all of a sudden mentioned for the very first time in almost a decade inside the FBI building, Victor needs to kiss his free time goodbye. So instead of spending his days on the couch, eating all the takeout he can find and watching crappy movies, he all at once sees himself confronted with an unstable angel, incapable of controlling his powers, a hunter missing from the scene, nowhere to be found, and the other one worried out of his mind about his family. Yeah, that's not the quiet weekend Victor had been hoping for. At all.

Bacon And Morning Afters | @destielblamscilesinfinity

Rating: Mature Word Count: 143,528 Main Tags/Warnings: Rape, Non Con, Major Character Death Summary: Dean hooks up with Cas after a night of being drunk. It turns into the best relationship he's ever had. They progress quickly, due to Dean's heart disease. Lots of angst, but ends happy.

[holylulusworld]

Hostile takeover (1)

Title: Hostile takeover

Square Filled for @spnaubingo​: Apocalypse AU

Square Filled for @spnabobingo​: Leather/Anise/Gunpowder

Square Filled for @spnquotebingo​: Quote: (“If I have to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.” - The Witcher)

Square Filled for @spnmixedbingo​​: Hiding an injury

Square Filled for @j3bingo​​:  Same presentation pairing

Pairing: Alpha!(Endverse) Dean Winchester x Alpha!(fem) Reader

Characters: Sam Winchester, Endverse!Castiel, Rufus Turner

Warnings: angst, language, violence, a hint of blood, a/b/o, a/b/o territorial behaviour, fighting, scenting, mentions of groping, mentions of sex, Dean is a confused alpha, he’s into the reader even though she’s an alpha, mentions of drugs/group sex (no description and it’s Endverse!Cas)

Summary: An alpha wants to take over your pack.

Word Count: 2,3 k

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​

Part 1/?

You don’t know how you ended up in the dirt. Hands and face bloody, body aching and at least three ribs broken.

One day another alpha came into your territory, tried to take over leadership, and decided you must step back. He gave you choice, offered to take over your pack peacefully. 

How very merciful…

Of course, you didn’t agree. Why would you? No one would give up their pack on free terms. You swore to always protect the men, women, and children trusting you with their lives.

At first, you offered to give him resources and asked him, very politely, to fuck off…

As you can imagine, it didn’t go well. He was the kind of alpha making your skin crawl. Cocky, overly self-confident, scent overwhelming.

Three weeks later he came back, the same offer, the same answer. Only this time, he wanted a fight for dominance.

You agreed, telling your pack to stay back and not step in. Fighting was always your last resort, sadly most of the other alphas out there don’t follow your example.

The alpha agreed to your conditions, knowing you will never take him down.

“Listen, you should just give up,” the alpha lands another punch. This time your legs give in, and you drop to your knees.

He’s strong, you give him that. What he lacks in manners he makes up in strength, speed, and endurance. That alpha attacking you is all you’ll never be.

"This is my pack and I need to defend them," you pant, struggling to get back up. Blood runs down your forehead and you know, one more hit, and you are done for. It almost seems like he hates to hurt you.

"A stronger leader," slowly getting back up on unsteady legs you glance at your pack. They already sniff in your opponent's direction, lowering their heads in submission. "Why?" you can't believe your pack doesn't have your back.

"We are sorry, but we are old and weak. Y/N, we need a strong leader, a merciless one," Rufus says and your heart drops. You always believed he would have your back until the end of the line. "You should give up and leave."

"Leave," unclenching your fists you lower your head, nodding silently. "You win. Why fighting for a pack not having my back? Maybe you are the better choice. You defeated me after all," you fight the sobs bubbling up your throat. “Be good to them, please.”

"I don't want you to leave," the alpha holds out his hand to shake yours, "I'm Dean, Dean Winchester and that's my pack. We have a safe place and I'd like your pack to join us."

"Why? You won and I must go. Those are the rules," he steps closer to press a bandana to your bleeding forehead, looking you all over. “What are you doing?”

"This wasn't about winning, alpha," he uses your presentation on purpose, shows you respect. "I want to strengthen my pack and with you by my side, it will get stronger."

"OH—" you can’t fathom why the alpha wants to keep your around. “It’s just, you won. Shouldn’t you celebrate your win? Every other alpha would do so.”

“Well, sweetheart,” he checks on your swollen face, wincing when you flinch away, “I’m not like any other alpha. If you want to, you can stay and help me protect our pack.”

“I took over the lead as they were desperate. No alpha was strong enough to help the pack and their alpha died in yet another fight. Sadly, the alpha killing their leader wasn’t interested in the pack. He only took two young omegas with him and left Rufus and the others.”

“Sonofabitch, that bastard shouldn’t be allowed to call himself an alpha,” you press one hand to your ribs, examining your broken body while the alpha steps closer to you.

You flinch away, try to bring distance between you and your opponent. “You won and I will leave—” voice cracking you look up at the much taller alpha. “Just take good care of my pack.” it’s the least thing you can do for your pack. Leave and beg the new pack leader to shelter them.

“Fine,” he steps into your personal space, looking down at you, eyes shade of dark emerald now. 

“I’ll pack all my belongings and will be gone,” his teeth grit and you shriek when he’s in your face seconds later.

“If you don’t stay on free terms, I will make sure you will not leave. I won, that’s right and this means I can do whatever I want,” you feel his hand grasp for your left arm. He roughly shoves you toward one of the cars, ignoring you whimper in pain. “Get inside my car and be still.”

“Cas, make sure the others pack their shit. You—” jerking his head toward Rufus Dean grins, “wanted her gone so you will pack her shit too.”

“I didn’t want her gone, only to not get herself killed to protect us,” Rufus grumbles, watching you wobble toward the car. “She fought too many battles for us. Y/N deserves better.”

You almost dozed off when the alpha defeating you enters the car, slamming the door shut. “Morning princess,” he smirks when you jolt up in your seat. 

A wave of his scent hits you with full force and you shudder, hating the alpha dominates even your sensitive nose.

“It’s leather and gunpowder, sweetheart,” he looks you up and down, frowning when you move away from him. “At least that’s what the omegas told me.”

“What?” confused you look at the alpha. Not so long ago he tried to kill you, threatened your life and now, he seems to flirt with you. 

“My scent,” he says, starting the engine to let it roar. “The omegas like the mix of leather and gunpowder. Makes them all tingly and wet.”

”I still don’t know what you try to tell me,” you glare at the alpha, squaring your jaw. “You know that I’m an alpha too, right?”

“I know,” he sniffs in your direction, inhales your scent deeply. “Anis and chamomile, and there is lilac too. We should head out; the camp is a little far away from this place. It’s a miracle you made it for so long.”

“We tried to find a new place,” you mutter, glancing out of the window when someone opens the door to the backseat. 

“Everyone is ready, Dean,” a tall guy says, glancing at you in the passenger seat. “We should go. Cas said more Croats are on their way. I think this was last minute.”

“What can I say?” Dean shrugs, looking at you next to him. “Their alpha was a stubborn little princess. She refused to follow my lead and I had to put her in her place.”

“I’m not a princess,” growling at the alpha you ball your hands into fists. “And I didn’t want to follow you as I do not trust you.”

“I gave you choice,” he muses, watching you make a face. “You could’ve stepped down and let me take over your pack without violence. There was no need to get hurt.”

“If I have to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all,” you retort, huffing when Dean shakes his head.

“I hate to break it for you, sweetheart, but you chose,” Dean grins before guiding the car onto the old street you know so well. “Your camp, it wouldn’t have made it for much longer. Believe me, I was your best choice.”

“I didn’t choose you, asshat,” crossing your arms over your chest, hiding the pain shoot through your body when you shift in your seat you snap at Dean. “This was my pack, and I would’ve defended them.”

“Against an army of Croats,” the man in the backseat huffs. “I doubt that.” You don’t like the guy, so you growl at him. “Dean, why did you bring her again?”

“I have—” Dean hits the breaks when a Croat storms toward the car. “Fuck, they are already here. That’s one of their scouts,” he jumps out of the car to shoot the Croat, looking around the area to find out if there are more to come. “Sammy, we gotta go. He won’t be the only one…”

“See, that’s why we had to bring you here,” Dean paces around the cabin he brought you to. “Did you see the Croats? They would’ve overrun you and your pack.”

“Just leave me alone, will ya,” you hiss while running one hand over your bruised ribs. “You are giving me a headache here. Can you not just enjoy you were right and defeated me? Do you need me to stroke your ego?”

“What’s wrong with you?” he steps closer to you, pushing your hand out of his way to check on your ribs. “Fuck, you’ve got at least two—” he moves his hand over your ribs again, shaking his head, “no three broken ribs. Why didn’t you say a thing?”

“Didn’t think you care,” biting your tongue you try to suppress a whimper when Dean lifts your shirt. “Don’t touch me!” you try to slap his hand away but he growls and you submit to him, tilting your head.

“I won’t hurt you, Y/N. You fought like an alpha and took your defeat like one,” he murmurs, carefully running his fingertips over your broken ribs. “I’ll tell Cas to help you bandage your ribs and to check on you for more injuries. Never hide an injury from me again, got it?” he breathes in your face, eyes narrowing. 

“Got it!” Dean makes it hard for you to hate him. After he defeated your sorry ass, he treated you like an equal, and, to your shame, you have to admit he was right. Croats would’ve killed all of your pack. “Where can I sleep?”

“My place,” he grunts, dropping his hand. “I’ll be out and take care of—” he shakes his head in confusion. “I need to release some steam.”

“Okay,” there is a change in the air when Dean storms out of the cabin to slam the door shut. “Odd…”

“I mean, she’s a fucking alpha Sammy,” Dean paces back and front, frantically gesturing toward his cabin, “still I want to rail her like there is no tomorrow. I—I only agreed to that stupid fight to force her to submit to me, but...”

“She’s not an omega?” Sam smirks, watching his brother move closer to his cabin again. “I heard of bonds among alphas, Dean. It’s not uncommon, you know.”

“But—” his head snaps toward his cabin as Castiel leaves his cabin. “Cas, how is Y/N? Did I cause more damage? I mean, is she alright?” 

“I fixed her ribs and taped her eye. She got a bruised ego but should be alright. Just make sure she doesn’t move too much or lifts heavy stuff,” the former angel says, giving Dean a stern look. “If you wanted to impress her, you could’ve chosen a better way, a less painful one.”

“Gosh, don’t give me that new age crap again, Cas,” Dean waves his friend off, grumbling under his breath. “I gotta check on her myself and make sure that stubborn alpha gets the rules.”

“Remember she’s not an omega, Dean,” Sam laughs. “Just saying, don’t give her orders. Y/N is an alpha, a strong one.”

“How do you feel?” he asks, stepping back inside the cabin, looking at you. “Cas said he bandaged your ribs.”

“That pervert tried to feel me up,” glaring at Dean you dare him to try the same. “I guess he forgot to tell you I backhanded him.”

“Cas is,” Dean laughs, shaking his head. “You must know, he was an angel before the world ended. Now he’s into new age and group sex, massages, and half of the time I find him high on something I can’t even spell.”

“That’s no excuse for groping me, alpha,” you step toward Dean to jab your index finger into his chest. “It’s your job to make rules and protect your pack. Good thing I’m not a submissive omega.”

“Wait, he would never—,” Dean swallows thickly. “I will talk to him tomorrow and tell him it’s not okay to touch or grope anyone. 

“You should see your face,” you smirk, holding back a chuckle when Dean tries to find a way to make things up to you. “If you want to be the alpha of our pack you should learn to see through a lie.”

“Sonofabitch, you tricked me. I was close to yell at my friend. That’s not funny and against the rules…”

“Rules #25, this place is mine, but you can have the spare bed if you can behave. There will be no omegas in here or something,” Dean explains whilst you try to keep your eyes open. You lie on the spare bed to shelter your broken ribs. “We have no spare cabin at this moment, so we will share mine.”

“Why can’t I share with one of the women,” lifting your head you frown at Dean’s angry expresssion.

“You will not touch the omegas, Y/N,” he exhales deeply. “No mating our omegas!”

“I’m not into women, asshat,” you retort, “I think I’ll have a closer look at your brother when I feel better. I bet he knows how to handle a female alpha.”

“What? NO WAY!” the alpha growls. “You will not lay hands on my baby brother. If anyone gets his hands on you it’s me!” Dean bites his tongue, stepping backward, shaking his head. 

“What?” you squeak. “Did you just say that?”

Dean runs toward the door, groaning your name. “What are you doing to me?”

>> Part 2

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[valleydean]

The Beginning

Story by: valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) Art by: sidewinder @hawkland

Link to fic Link to art

Brought to you by @deancashorrorfest

Tags/archive warnings: endverse, zombie apocalypse, graphic depictions of violence, blood and gore, drug use, animal death, Dean POV, Cas POV, Castiel's loss of angelic grace, newly human Castiel, jealous Dean, fear of abandonment, angst, rough sex, body horror, internalized homophobia, denial, minor Cas/OC, drugs as a coping mechanism, sex as a coping mechanism, suicidal thoughts, slow burn, slow build, codependency

Summary: One year ago, soon after Lucifer was freed from the Cage, Dean and Sam parted ways. Since then, Dean has been hunting on his own and, along with Cas despite his declining grace, searching for a way to prevent the apocalypse. When the outbreak of the Croatoan virus begins, Dean and Cas head to Bobby’s to plan their next move. On the way, as the contagion rapidly spreads through America, they must contend with the rabid infected, martial law, and humans who will do anything to ensure their own survival.

Preview:

Cas stepped to the other side of the door and turned around to face Dean. Dean stopped walking, looking forward at Cas and waiting for him to say anything at all.

When he did, it was, “In there.”

Dean pulled his brows together, his eyes flashing to the dark window panel in the door. The directional light of his flashlight bounced off of it, obscuring whatever was inside. The glass was a deeply black mirror.

His gut clenched, feeling like someone had shoved their hand into his intestines and was trying to rip them out. He slowly brought his face closer to the window. His transparent reflection stared back pensively. He looked beyond it, squinting and refocusing his eyes.

There were bodies in there—maybe three of four. He couldn’t really tell. Some of them were in pieces. Pools of blood soaked them, glinting like a knife in the moonlight that fought its way through the dirty windows.

Dean opened his mouth, about to ask what the hell happened.

Something slammed against the other side of the glass. A bloody hand. Dean jumped back, his shout echoing down the hall. It shattered the bubble of silence—so, too, did the banging on the glass as the man inside tried to beat his way out of the room. His dripping red fists pounded incessantly, leaving smears on the window. He was giving off animalistic grunts and hisses.

“What the…” Dean said, his heart still in his throat. He looked at Cas, demanding an answer. Part of him wanted to blame Cas, to ask him why the hell he slaughtered people and left them in a room. But maybe they weren’t people. Then, what? Demons? Monsters?

Something didn’t add up.

The man kept doing everything he could to bust through the glass. Dean noticed the paring knife clutched in his fist.

Cas didn’t kill those people.

“I led them here and locked them inside,” Cas said, as if he’d read Dean’s mind. “They killed each other.”

The lines of Dean’s forehead bunched up when he lifted his brows in surprise. There was something he was missing. It felt like a forgotten word on the tip of his tongue. A distorted memory from a faded dream.

“You’ve seen this before,” Cas supplied. “The Croatoan virus.”

The words hit Dean like a truck. Blanching, he said, “Croatoan? You mean, the thing that turns everybody into Jack Torrance?”

“No, the demon virus that triggers murderous actions in anyone who contracts it,” Cas corrected, and Dean was still too busy freaking out to tell Cas they pretty much said the same thing. Pressing his lips together, Cas turned his gaze on the door, and there was a subdued kind of despondency in them, like he was trying to control how much emotion he showed on his face. “It’s one of the signs of the apocalypse. This is Lucifer’s doing. He unleashed the Horseman Pestilence.”

“Pestilence,” Dean echoed, the word taking a long time to process. He remembered, thirteen months ago, when he and Sam cut the ring off War’s fingers. That had been the day he and Sam parted ways. Dean hadn’t seen his brother since. He’d only talked to him once on the phone, when Sam called him a few weeks later to tell Dean that Lucifer wanted him as his meatsuit.

Dean rattled his head, trying to shake loose any thoughts of Sam. He focused on Cas saying, “The entire town’s been infected.”

Dean remembered how quickly the virus spread—and how it spread. An infected person had to bleed into someone’s open wound. Once the blood mixed, that was it. Soon after, the victim would turn into a one-track-mind, bloodthirsty monster.

He glanced back at the doorway. The man was still standing behind the glass, looking at Dean like he was lunch, but at least he’d stopped pounding on the window.

“It isn’t the only one,” Cas continued. “There are pockets of the virus across America—possibly the world.”

How hadn’t Dean heard about this? His chest felt too small, like his ribcage was shrinking around his heart and lungs. “Where’d it start?”

“I don’t know.”

[omniscientoranges]

Tbh I don't think Cas actually fully felt he needed to "atone for his sins" by staying in purgatory. I think that's what he told himself (and there might have been a small part of him that did feel that way) but I think there's a bigger part of him that stayed there because he was depressed and afraid to face the consequences of his actions (insert "I'm afraid I might k*ll myself" hunteri heroici convo here). Like, a lot of the things Cas does, from my understanding, stem from his tendency towards escapism that are often (but not always) wrapped up in doing something "for the greater good".

Like, okay, I have a few big choices of his that I interpret this way.

putting this under a cut for ease of scrolling by

First (chronologically), taking on Sam's lucifer trauma, while selfless, might've also been done because he thought it would allow him to just. peace out? I'm sure while Cas was deciding to do that there was a part of him that knew he probably would either die or wouldn't be in his right mind afterwards and maybe he kind of wanted that? Like he wanted to not have to deal with the majority of the fallout from his s6/godstiel stuff (I say the majority since in doing this he did try (and I think succeed in) doing something to make up for breaking Sam's mental wall, so he does run headfirst into fixing that mistake particularly). So he took on Sam's pain as a way to both do something good and to be able to avoid having to deal with other consequences.

(also to try and up the reading comprehension on the above paragraph I'm talking specifically about his decision making process I'm not saying him being mentally ill for that period was ~avoiding responsibility~. Like I think the choice was made with some of the intention that he wouldn't have to deal afterwards for whatever reason.)

And in s11 where he said yes to lucifer he was trying to help, but he also was really deeply depressed before that (and also still doing some escapism by watching tv 24/7 which, relatable). So saying yes to lucifer was a way for him (in his mind) to both 1) try and do something good for once and 2) kind of not have to sit and deal with his emotions and with the way things were.

Also. 15x18 like yes the confession was ultimately selfless. But also it was very much a risky text and he said all that stuff only when he knew it would save Dean (i.e. do something good) and allow him to avoid anything that would come out of having that conversation (since in Cas' mind there was no outcome of it where he wouldn't get his heartbroken in some way).

(And I'm adding endverse in here as a note just because like, I think he used drugs a lot there to distract himself/escape from the fact that it is the apocalypse and they're well and truly screwed. Like I also think he used them because they're fun lmao, but I do think there was an undercurrent of "I don't want to deal with this so I'll do something that will let me not have to" in there too.)

And all that's not to say the things he did aren't good things! And I'm also not saying he never ever reaps what he sows or deals with stuff (because he Deals With Stuff all the time). Or that the outcomes of the sacrifices he's made are somehow bad or tainted because of the presence of some other motives that aren't purely altruistic. Like, I'm not saying that having escapist tendencies and not wanting and avoiding fully dealing with the consequences of your mistakes or your emotions surrounding them is like, a bad evil horrible thing (because like, vine voice. "I do that"). It's actually a very human thing, because at it's core facing consequences for your choices requires there to have been a choice in the first place - which of course requires acts of free will.

And that's kinda the whole point, because Cas never had to deal with consequences (or mistakes, or emotions) before because he'd never actually made a real choice before we met him (insert 4x18 "you understand why I can't help" first act of free will in the show my beloved). It was always heaven (Naomi, and broadly Chuck) pulling the strings for the angels, so it makes sense that Cas experiencing the feeling of making choices and mistakes wholly his own for the first time would fully freak him out and continue to freak him out for the next like, decade (because comparatively he has not had a lot of time to adjust to having free will that isn't instantly lobotimized out of him).

Idk maybe this is incoherent/worded poorly and also obviously this is just my interpretation of some of Cas' actions but idk, I think that angel is allergic to consequences and uses escapism to cope and it's deeply interesting and I love him for it send post

[wellofdean]

Endversetober Days 14, 15 & 16: Fire, Cigarette, Secret

I got a bit busy the last few days and ran out of time a bit, so I had to combine a few days of prompts. In this episode:

Cas takes a new interest in matches and finds out Dean's been thinking of him.

Cas is high as a kite, he can't sleep, and it's been 11 days since he made Dean come. Dean's made sure they haven't been alone for a single minute since then. Meanwhile, Cas has tried in a million different ways to articulate to himself what desire feels like, and he's settled on something like the sudden, bright flare of a struck match.

Dean smokes now, by the way.

Cas dislikes the acrid smell, and especially the way it lingers around Dean, but he loves to watch Dean light a match, put the cigarette between his lips and suck in the first pull. Cas loves the way Dean's chin tips up, his eyes fall closed and his cheeks hollow out, and then, of course, the O of his mouth when he breathes out the smoke. The fine hairs on his hand and wrist. Every time he's in a room with Dean it leaves him feeling like the shriveled end of a spent match, nothing left but brittle ash.

The thing is, Cas can still feel the way Dean's cock pulsed in his hand, and spilled warm and wet over his knuckles. He squeezes his fist tight, shakes it out, but the feeling is still there in his palm. It's like he's being haunted. By Dean's cock. And, yes, he is just human enough to be aware of how pathetic that is, not least because it's imminently clear that Dean's cock is no ghost, but seems to be alive and well, judging from the sounds emanating from the backseat of Dean's erstwhile Baby.

The Impala has been up on blocks for about a year at this point. It had first been impractical and then impossible to keep it running, and Dean had finally abandoned 'her', grimly, without saying a single word about it. Dean never explains himself at all and brushes off any overture to plumb his emotional depths with a 'fuck around and find out' set to his jaw, so literally no one would dare to push, but Cas doesn't need to push. He knows why Dean gave her up. The Impala is haunted, and all the ghosts are from a life that can only ever be in the rearview.

Anyway, Dean's in her now. Cas knows Dean goes there when he can't keep the past at bay, when something hurts, and he wants to feel it. It usually involves, as far as Cas has observed, drinking alone and staring stoically into the night. It's maudlin, really, but Cas supposes Dean has a right to it. He's been through some shit, as they say.

Solo drinking and stoic staring into the abyss don't seem to be on tonight's agenda, though, and Cas can't think of many explanations for the harsh breaths and muffled groans coming from the back bench of the Impala that don't involve Dean's cock sliding through Dean's hand.

And then there it is again, like a struck match: a sudden, bright, consuming flare of want, burning Cas up from the inside out. And, that's before he hears Dean breathily huff out his name, and he learns something new: desire is not just a sudden, short-lived flare. His stupid human body can also support a sustained burn.

Cas closes his eyes and stands stock still. Then, he turns and walks back to his cabin. Maybe a little lighter.

It's nice to know Dean's thinking of him.

Here too:

Endversetober 2022 (5708 words) by unreconstructedfangirl

Chapters: 6/?

Fandom: Supernatural (TV 2005)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Characters: Endverse Dean Winchester, Endverse Castiel (Supernatural)

Additional Tags: Endversetober | Endverse Inktober (Supernatural), cocks vs hands, Feelings, References to Croatoan/Endverse (Supernatural), suggested misuse of a gun, angst and sadness, magic mushrooms, Origin story for Endverse!Cas, Cas is a medicine man of love, Group Sex, Shame, alcohol and drug use, Cigarettes, Mutual Pining

Summary:

Short fics and drabbles in response to Endversetober prompts that focus on the relationship between Endverse Cas and Dean, and how they got that way. The chapters don't follow each other in a linear way. Events are our of order.

[bedlund]

OKAY! what was all that then!!! how are you gonna say cas obliterates himself with drugs and booze and numbs himself with orgies but he remains dean's partner and like. i was gonna say his second in command but this dean doesn't exactly share power. i hate this. the sheer devotion has me reeling. like there's no reason for him to be that involved or that high up. he calls himself useless and hapless and hopeless but then WHY be part of the inner circle or whatever. why be on dean's final mission. im also pretty sure that he knew dean was lying and he was gonna sacrifice everyone. i think he knew from the discussion with the map and everything.

also 2009 dean saying youre gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? cas too? like hello why is cas separate from friends. are they not friends. are they frenemies.

5x04 the end is so... dean becomes hard and he pulls in. he hardly makes a joke the whole time. cas loses his rigidity but not his devotion, which is the thing that is most likely to harm him in the long run. also let's talk about sam! i missed that bitch! at least they let cas talk shit abt dean in his absence. god.

the cut lines are so. i was watching the scene in the car and thinking about the intimacy of it. cas likes past dean. he wants to 2009 dean to ride with him. dean doesn't trust 2014 him, and he doesn't get this cas, but he's looking for context there instead of from himself, bc dean shuts himself out and in (i know your lying expressions ive seen them in the mirror).

overall i feel insane. ben edlund be my best friend im tattooing bedlund 5:4 on my ass

i wish i was smart and could write meta to answer this properly but alas. YES it’s insane like dean at that point has known cas for like a few months, he’s a weird dorky dude, he doesn’t know personal space and they become allies and they start to become friends (let’s not forget the previous episode is free to be you and me where they have their first genuine moment of connection, up to that point they always meet when it’s some big cosmic stuff happening, dean needs cas’ help, cas needs dean to obey heaven’s orders etc they never up to that point spend time together as just friends) AND THEN bam next episode dean sees the worst version of himself (torture? classy) who’s in a horrible toxic relationship (however you interpret the nature of that relationship) with cas and they ruined each others lives but they still won’t be separated. also re the second in command thing, Exactly like cas isn’t in that meeting to help dean, (perhaps this is a bit too dta but i can’t separate it from endverse in my mind now) cas pretends to be the ‘cult leader’ with his psychedelic orgies but it’s dean the ‘fearless leader’, who could kill someone in full view of the camp with nobody even batting an eye, you can bet cas is the Only person in that camp who would to say anything to counter him in that meeting.

i can’t talk about endverse cas at all without it devolving into talking about dta cas so i won’t even try.

and then there’s so much hidden stuff to unpack! ben edlund’s original idea for endverse cas (in a catatonic state sitting in a corner killing and resurrecting a cockroach over and over again), the “what? i love like past you”, THEE cut line (unadorned sincerity) which confirms that cas knew it was a suicide mission and still went along simply because dean asked/told him to. LiTERALLy all they have left is each other (HEAD IN MY HANDS) if dean is going to die why would he want to keep living (sigh. hello mountain goats fandom)

anywaysss if you are interested in more endverse may i suggest a little fic called down to agincourt, the writer sure had a lot of thoughts on the matter :)