#this is why I keep this sideblog

[hipsternumbertwo]

Favorite Angela Moments 36/∞: Give it up for my band tonight

[thousandbuns]

Branching this off to the sideblog so I can do an extra bit of late-night weirdo-screaming in peace.

Like... I get it. I do. I’m not an anti-shipper with reading comprehension that’d shame a literal child (even if my brain sometimes dips into a rotisserie chicken mode because I’m kind of dumb by default and prolonged exposure to social media only made it worse). I sometimes joke about my own 40K characters, and for the vast majority of them I’d have to mark “(Chaos) Space Marine” on GW’s faction census. I call them silly little things like “dad who stepped up” (for a renegade Iron Warrior sergeant), “sweet cinnamon bun too pure for this world” (for a Khorne-influenced ex-Space Wolf) or “sopping wet little meow-meow” (for a Thousand Sons exile turned Tzeentchian Sorcerer). But that’s just that, a shallow little personal giggle I’m having while remaining acutely aware that it’s, at best, a very superficial and quirky-fandom-shitpost reading. And if you ask me to actually go into details (or somehow patiently wait for me to stop faffing about, do my “research” and actually start writing My Big Dream Project instead of just doing more out-of-context-who-the-hell-cares rambling on social media), I’ll talk your ear off about toxic masculinity, fascism, destruction and exploitation of human emotions and bonds, cruelty and pointlessness of war, inability to break out of broken systems, imbalance of power, generational trauma, systemic abuse etc., and how all these things coalesced into some utterly fucked-up and largely amoral people.

Because you can’t really be a good person as an Astartes, no matter how hard you try to be or claim otherwise. You wouldn’t even exist as an Astartes, loyal or renegade, if a fundamentally and irredeemably evil empire wasn’t first raised on a galaxy-wide mound of corpses using your forebearers as a vital part of its murder-machine. You’re a child, a teen at most, torn away from your family and transformed into a living weapon. Your humanity is at best a tool to control you, and otherwise a defect - an undesirable flaw, or even a source of your damnation. You’re a victim. You’re also the perpetrator, and the suffering you’ve inflicted may surpass your own thousandfold.

But just because you’re meant to be a crude, obedient tool of oppression doesn’t mean you lack depth. There are layers and nuances to you, to how you spiral downwards or fight to stay afloat, how you cling or let go of your humanity and how your personal agency aligns or clashes against what seems to be the hand of Fate itself. You’re a broken, messy thing caught in a dysfunctional system that feels too large to tackle on your own, and that means there are many parts of you scattered around that someone may be inclined to collect and piece back together.

The issue isn’t with relating to and obsessing over borderline-conscience-free lumps of personal hangups that conduct themselves in ways that lead to a death toll in the hundreds every other day. It’s with taking that shallow, or even a joke read - often steeped either in the universe’s own propaganda or skewed fandom interpretations - and treating it as the text, the body, the core. It’s somehow buying into the idea that Primarchs were “kind fathers” because they felt sad for all of five minutes over hundreds of their child soldiers dying while conquering another worthless rock for the sake of painting some distant corner of a galactic map gold - and ignoring the fact that the existence of said soldiers was precluded by deaths and mutilation of countless other children. By conquest of another planet, subjugation of another society, and destruction of some part of its culture, be it by force or through extreme propaganda. That even a “peaceful” and “enlightened” society, like that of Prospero - a society formed by outcasts fleeing from injustice and persecution! - was made to agree to surrender hundreds, if not thousands of young boys to feed a giant machine of colonial destruction that existed by and large only to tickle one man’s oversized ego.

I’m not saying you can’t dig into (to continue with the above example) the Primarchs and find something that will resonate with you. You can enjoy them, and you can joke about them, and treat them with as much spur-of-the-moment levity as I do my characters whenever I sit in this corner to gurgle something about “cringe-ass gay nae-nae baby Khonsu”, or whichever else byproduct of my maladjustive daydreaming I happen to be fixating on this week. Just... remember to take a step back once in a while, give yourself a tap on the shoulder and do a little reality re-adjustment. It’s not meant to be patronizing, by the way - it doesn’t mean you’re low on reading comprehension or anything, just that even fictional propaganda can be very insidious and human brains are illogical things that love to entrench themselves around things that feel “right” or “pleasing” to them (even if they are neither of these - like certain persistent thoughts plaguing many depressed people, myself included). And unfortunately in the case of 40K, the in-universe narrative also swings dangerously close to violent IRL ideologies and bigotry - so a good dose of self-awareness and caution is all the more advised, as this punk bar is already full of skinheads.

We've talked a lot about the primarchs but in general who in 40K is the best parent? Grandfather?

We talking actual named characters or generally? Because Nurgle is an asshole, so not him. Probably one of the Eldar gods, most likely Isha. She is, by all accounts, actually just nice and did a lot for her children, based on her domains.

If we go overall, then it’s absolutely some random single parent on a factory world, slowly dying from seven kinds of miner’s lung but still using their work pittance to buy their kids decent food and tell them fun bedtime stories every night.

Got a bit bleak, didn’t it? Ough

[salthien]

At least two people who reblogged your post about Third Life who are Dream fans got hate messages and suicide baited, being told to walk into traffic or kill themselves. It's OK not to like people but that sort of thing isn't OK.

oh good fucking christ you are not going to drag me into the sea of teenage drama that is that slap fight. i am twenty eight entire goddamn years old and have better things to do than send anon hate to fifteen year olds with shit taste on the internet. whatever is going on there I'm not touching it with a forty foot pole and i will not be held responsible for the actions of literal children who do not follow me and I have not interacted with

[faithfromanewperspective]

hot take but I maybe think the whole ‘no reaction when seeing bodies of dead poc babies’ isn’t actually that people aren’t having a reaction. it’s hopelessness and overwhelm we’ve learned to mask and it looks like we don’t care. but most people do. they just feel stuck as if they don’t know how they can help. outrage requires novelty otherwise it literally becomes a mood disorder

[goldensmilingbird]

👇 SCAMMER

Be careful and report

[lynaferns]

I would like to set up boundaries regarding my AUs and designs.

Please, don't make sex/romance insinuation comments under my posts about my AUs or designs.

Like how you'd like to kiss them, like them to take you, how much you desire them. It makes me uncomfortable, I read all the tags and comments under my art posts, I don't feel any good reading that type of comments.

I'm not going to do anything about old posted art (as I've been quiet about this all this until now) but from now on I'm going to hide any of these types of comments and if someone keeps pushing it I'll have to block them.

I had this in a draft because I didn't have many of these kinds of comments but I've been told that I should post it to prevent it from happening and to let people know, which... it's logical...

[arcane-hotties]

Actually I'm having fun!

[potoodevil]

[disastress-i-guess]

Entering 2024 with this energy.

[purgemarchlockdown]

Hm...

[pink-lightsabre]

cerrit "my friends call me pinch" argupnin. who gets called pinch once in the entire series. by his coworker. and not at ALL by any of his best friends.

makes me crazy.

[silvertsundere]

sometimes you got a bad feeling about doing something but you gather the will to power through and do it regardless, only for said bad feeling to prove true very fun

[curarems]

My sister is reading Men at Arms in Slovak and they evidently translated Havelock Vetinari to Maximilián Vetinari. Why would you do that

[orphyd]

i wont lie...i am tempted to make that SDV sideblog

[therealbrigeedarocks]

"people should make separate blogs for their interests so others can follow for specific things"

my dude

my guy

my pal buddy friend o'mine

once upon a time my main blog was supposed to strictly be for my art and art alone

and that shit went off the rails almost immediately

cuz the idea of having to cultivate that much made my brain ache

[brown-little-robin]

🥱...