#this is why I dont hang out with people that often
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im poking around my google doc like I might possibly get some writing done tonight, I have not a single bit of energy left my battery is completely empty. Nothing else is getting done tonight
#im so exhausted in every way possible except physical#rambling#phever dreams with phantom#this is why I dont hang out with people that often#it drains me completely#so many better things I couldve done with my time#so many better things I COULD be doing now with my time#but I cant because I dont have the energy
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every time i think i know what worm is about i see a post like "did [character ive never heard of] effectively utilize girl power when she [horrific human rights violation]?" and I have to try to figure out how tf that fits into anything
#from what ive gathered#its about a girl with bug powers who wants to be a superhero but semi-accidentally becomes a supervillain instead#her hometown is full of gangs#i think she ends up taking over and/or destroying most of the gangs?#every so often giant horrific eldritch monstrosities attack and everybody with powers has to team up to fight them#theres at least one shady government(?) organization giving people powers that turn them into monsters#the multiverse is real and they sometimes import media from a universe where superheroes dont exist#theres a group of government sponsored teen heroes just sort of hanging out#theres a gang of serial killers led by the joker if editorial mandates were a canon superpower#theres a family of superheroes but the girl with healing powers has serious issues and i think goes evil?#also all of these people get powers by being traumatized which means theyre all wildly unstable#(this is deliberate)#the main character changes her codename at least once possibly twice im still not sure if the second one is a name or a title#i think a few people change their codenames actually#i still dont know why its called worm#i also dont know whats spoilers and whats just information presented up front when relevant
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it becomes more and more obvious to me as I get older that I really can't tell when people genuinely like me
just had a coworker text me to tell me that another one is distraught that I no longer work wednesdays and that she's been complaining to other people that it sucks that I'm not there ... like people think about me positively and want me around??? impossible
#[static]#i know that people are friendly and i do know that i have friends but even then it takes months or sometimes YEARS before I truly know#like even the ppl im playing dnd with biweekly (and maybe soon to be weekly) ... im still kind of vaguely shocked when they say nice things#or like when one of them wanted to hang out for lunch and offered to drive but then didnt actually end up getting lunch ...#they just wanted to hang out and spend time with me to chat. when i thought that they were just going to the same place to eat#ive dont really verbalize it ever that i function like this but i think it's why i tend to hold people at an arms length#or that i struggle when they say positive things about me to my face#i literally have written documentation that indicate people actively look to me for help and leadership because they trust me and like me-#-but i still often believe that it's one sided (from my side) or that people are just being polite but i have evidence to prove otherwise#idk i dont think i'll ever be able to figure it out but im always trying!
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canon dainkae has such good angst flavour and im never gonna shut up about this dainsleif really took one look at kaeya and went i don't trust you because of who your ancestors were and kaeya is like oh? my, how unfortunate. i suddenly need to leave but join me for a drink sometime~ and then he hightails out of the entire msq storyline
first time seeing another living khaenri'ahn and they already don't trust him how about y'all leave my boy ALONE
wait even worse what if diluc and dainsleif strike up a friendship based off watching kaeya, technically both just want the best for him and to make sure he doesn't 'stray' from the path of mondstadt and meanwhile kaeya who is full aware of their surveillance and full aware it's because they don't believe him.... its nothing less than what he expected or deserves, of course, but that doesn't mean his heart doesn't ache from the knowledge that he was right all along, that if anyone was to know his past, to discover who he truly was it would irrevocably destroy any relationship they had.
ITS KAEYA ANGST HOURS ALWAYS
#genshin impact#genshin 3.5 spoilers#kaeya alberich#my phone has stuck pixels so im trying to fix it#and in the meantime im using my older nearly broken phone#i keep looking over to see if the pixels are fixed they arent and also#im getting headaches on account of all the flashing on the screen when i check it lol#ANYWAY i kinda feel bad for kaeya because usually when i think about him in scenarios#its often hurt no comfort i love me some whump#thats why he should hang out with zhongli instead#zhongli would immediately clock him but at the same being so much older and wiser#he knows kaeya is sincere in his love for mondstadt and its people#and its an easy sort of acceptance that kaeyas never dealt with before outside of rosaria#bur even she doesnt know everything about him not like zhongli apparenrly does#(this isnt zh*ngkae i dont ship them but they ARE my favs so my god will they hang out.)
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maybe i just need to start fainting dramatically in front of my friends to earn their sympathy
#i am not doing this. but mostly bc i fight tooth and nail not to faint in public#i don’t know i just want people to see why i’m struggling so much i don’t know#this is a joke obv but i do wish i could be taken care of a little#my ex would do it but she’s also not doing the best and i often dont have the energy to help her too#and not that he requires that of me. but if i’m around him of course i want to be a support too#i just don’t have any more support to give#and they don’t have the time to do much anyway#it was nice to hang out tonight tho#and i’m going to miss everyone so much over the summer too. tbh. that’s gonna be rough too#esp bc i don’t get to see them next semester. and then some of my friends will be graduated. and so i just won’t see them at school ever#- again on top of the graduating seniors#so many of whom are my closest friends rn :(#so it just sucks that this is the semester when i am struggling the most physically bc i’m missing out on being around them fully#ted talks
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my ancient curse is that im a hard person to hang out with because i keep wanting to do different activities every 10 minutes to maximize the fun per minute ratio. if u even care
#JOKE POST im just frustrated because i have complicated feelings over hanging out w classmates outside of school#seriously this is why im terrified of ever having to hang out w mutuals in real life. i would literally stand in front of you for 20 minute#strying to decide what activities we can do and never committing to one for more than an hour#unless youre cass and i see you about 6 times every couple of months and id feel relaxed enough to do w/e bc we see each other so often#I WANT TO DO ALL THE THINGS. GAH#the only way youd get me to sit still was to take me to a movie. perhaps sonic the hedgehog 2#and i dont hang out with people as much as i would like to. so automatically i want to do as many things w them as possible#ghhh cant i just talk to you on a video call while playing phantom hourglass. why this#yapping
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Save me distractions........distractions....save me.......
#feeling the horrors tonight my friends#i know i cant trust my thoughts/feelings rn because between my hunger & my migraine im sure thats why im in despair#but fuck man this shit sucks#people always like me enough to flirt/hang around and soak up my light but never enough to actually want me lmao#i guess T is the exception right now but theyre not really looking for a committed relationship rn & we dont get to hang out often#im just lonely man. like truly. im so tired of being the lonely person that waits around for any sort of attention#im so tired#fuck#delete later#idk#emma rambles#just down/in my head rn#personal
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im stupidly selfish sometimes i think
#two of my closer friends are almost constantly making plans in a giant group of people i dont know as well#and the last time i told them id prefer hanging out jsut the three of us at least some of the time one of them was like#well i like the group more............#its incredibly stupid that i keep gettning mad abt it#and i could just dm them about it but they dont ever answer me unless its in the giant ufcking group chat#i dont know why i get upset abt this so often#i actually have friends now when ive been lonely for so long and im being trivial#cade barks
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hmmmmmm rotating idea for a new skyrem character......
#i've been itching to create a new oc lately. not vibing with most of the current ones. idk why but it'll pass im sure#anyway. last night in bed while trying to sleep off a migraine i started thinking abt isabeau#and wondering if she should be the dragonborn after all#like shes already a criminal mastermind and (in my homebrew timeline) by 4e 201 which is when the main plot takes place#she has restored the thieves guild's power and influence and expanded her criminal network across the whole province#add to that the dragonborn thing and being basically a demigod destined to save the world n all. its a bit much innit#dont get me wrong i like my silly little viddy game ocs ridiculously overpowered every now n then. its good for the soul#but still. i remembered this nord character i had ages ago for like two weeks maybe. named vigdis bear-arm#very textbook stereotypical dumb muscle heavy armor wearing greatsword wielding nord#i wanna remake her as the dragonborn... with some tweaks... she will still be a heavy armor wearing nord but also a spellsword mayhap#oc: isabeau#oc: heidrun#the original vigdis did not use magic at all but i already have isabeau who does not use magic at all#and its like a Big Part of her character so im not abt to change it#also it creates a funny contrast between beau and vigdis.#beau whose people are known for their natural magical talent doesnt understand jack shit abt magic#and vigdis whose people often mistrust magic is fine with it and a talented spellcaster 😌#i also Need to reinstall that game i miss it so much !!!#OH also i wanna try out the gore follower mod. i never had any followers with isabeau bc i just cant see her hanging with any of em#but. based on what i know of gore i think he would work well with vigdis.. hm... hmmmm
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jjk men and their red flags
a/n: i'm feeling problematic :> tell me what u think (agree/disagree/add more?) this is all for shits n giggles !! non sorcerer au kinda
kento nanami — (over)protective
but like... to the point where it feels like he's treating you like a child! he doesnt like to see you sweat or even work at all for that matter. he loves it when you cook but has bought covers for all the knifes. if he sees a burn on your hand get ready for a 10 minute long lecture. if you accidentally fall he wont let you get up for atleast 3 days to help you ""heal."" it's almost like he doesnt trust you to take care of yourself :') he probably has like 3 separate first-aid kits everywhere.
suguru geto — emotionally unavailable
i feel like this is explainable to his character (sort of.) i dont think that he'd make you feel isolated at all, he's be an amazing listener and probably memorizes every word you say. he listens to you rant and even trauma dump with insane patience. but at some point it feels as though you hardly know him. he's talk to you a lot but very little of it is personal and you hardly know what he's thinking because his ass is not tell you. he also unintentionally distances himself from people from time to time. this applies to you too and you can feel him getting emotionally distant sometimes. it isnt something he does knowingly but it sure ass hell bothers you.
satoru gojo — very clingy and needy
this nigga. he is so utterly clingy. and at first it's perfectly fine, even appreciated by you. you still love him like crazy of course but it is just overwhelming. he is like a child most of the time, he need you around him and is always accompanying you wherever you go, and he expects you to do the same. he also doesn't believe in "me time" because why would you feel better when you're away from him: (? want to hang out with your friends? what do you need them for: (? he's right there. he is also physically incapable of listening but boy is he good at making up.
toji fushiguro — controlling
he is so controlling omfg. it's usually subtle but sometimes he will outright just say no to things he doesnt like, not caring if you like them. it gets to the point where he actually starts to change your personality. he is very caring and that's his justification for this typa stuff. it is usually harmless stuff but he gets paranoid often. he doesnt let you wear miniskirts out if you're not with him. he doesn't let you befriend people he thinks are into you. he barely lets you buy stuff on your own, he usually gifts you whatever it is youre into at that moment. borderline turned on by fear and you being dependent on him.
choso kamo — has no social life outside you
pretty self explanatory. he doesnt have many friends outside you and isn't interesting in making them either. total loser. so taking him out to events, he probably doesnt interact much and chooses to look at you the entire time, which annoys your friends. he answers their questions pretty bluntly. he's never down to have people over and lowkey hates when you are.
hiromi higuruma — workaholic
also self explanatory. he leaves early, comes home late. you barely see him on the weekdays. sometimes he goes as far as ignoring your calls when in between cases. he calls you periodically but has to have an alarm set to remind him. he loves you very very deeply but is just used to working non stop T_T
#jjk#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk ^ ~#multi :>#jujutsu kaisen smut#choso kamo smut#choso x reader#choso smut#geto suguru smut#geto x reader smut#gojo satoru#gojo satoru smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo x reader#jjk x reader smut#gojo smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#geto smut#choso kamo#gojo#geto#choso#toji smut#nanami smut#toji x reader#nanami x reader#geto x reader#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen x you
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PSA: If you are depressed and/or suffer from a chronic illness for longer than a short amount of time,peole will grow tired of you and leave you. So you either have to fake being well or die of loneliness :)
#currently living option b and i am hanging on a fucking string#god life is so hard when you have little to no friends especially during summer holidays#at least i have a job now#like so often i find myself in the situation that i want to go out with somebody and then i remember oh i dont have anybody to do it with#i know i should be happy that i dont have these toxic people in my life anymore#but i miss having a big friend group#because actually i am an extroverted person who can be the life of the party if she wants to#but yeah i think too much and i have trust issues#thats why i cant have a boyfriend#my boyfriend that i had 2 years ago was actually really caring and tried to understand me but i felt like a burden so i pushed him away#i push everyone away even my therapist says this#late night thoughts#it is 3 am and i cant sleep#so i am writing this really long text that probably no one will ever read but thats okay#i must come off as attention seeking#but you know what i am i crave attention and affection#okay i will try to sleep now
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random astro observations part 13.✨
✨just for fun im just talking random ass shit based on PERSONALL observations..✨
PART TWELVE. 📀
virgo risings and people getting intimidated by the way they speak (scorpio 3rd house). But then when you get know and befriend them theyre so sweet (pisces 7h, cancer 11h). My virgo rising bestie & when i first met her in college she was speaking in class and i was like woah shes smart asf and intense 😭
or sag risings and them speaking to people in a direct yet still obscure manner! or sometimes even cold in a sense.. like girl what do u really mean fr 🤨 (aqua 3h). But then you get closer with them and they love to chat with you (gemini 7h) and make anytime u hang out a pleasant and nice time (libra 11h). my sag rising friend throws the best parties (going all out with the decor, presentation of food, having a theme & ofc taking nice pics after… real libra 11h shit).
taurus risings and them communicating in a very soft, comforting manner (cancer 3h) and as you get closer you notice their intensity in their relationships with people (scorpio 7h) and their giving, helpful nature in their friendships (pisces 11h).
another thing about taurus risings, you can bet they are getting FREAKYYY with their partner with that scorpio 7h 😭they are very private with their relationships and rarely reveal personal details about it unless they trust you. my taurus rising cousin and she never shares anything about her bf (whats mine is mine you dont need to worry about it) energy. and she also has mentioned she doesnt need to give ppl a reason to try to found out for themselves what a great time shes having lmfaooo
also my taurus rising coworkers and one time we all went out for drinks and one of our coworkers was complaining about how women always have a shit time when having seggs with men and my taurus rising coworker was like “wellppp cant relate.”.. and i oop 🙈
the 2nd house rules the vocal chords and as an aries 2h sometimes when im excited or even mad i sound like a 12 year old 😭 like naruto when hes giving one of his NEVER GIVE UP NEVER BACK DOWNNN speech. I also feel like if you have scorpio or aries 2h people always think you're mad and want you to "calm down" when you talk. like no im not mad have you ever heard of being fucking passionate? hmmm?
In general, aries placements could also find they get a lot of patronizing comments or aries women could even find that men often try to "mainsplain" them. just bc aries are being assertive doesnt mean theyre being reckless or not seeing the big picture.. its all a balance. Aries DOES have this youthful /bold energy, but that doesnt mean they cant be wise people who prefer to learn by doing, even if others mistake their approach for inexperience..
we know plutonians can be seen as having this “abrasive” energy to other people. it can throw them off or make them be like “oh i dont like them.” but pluto doms recognize other plutonian people its that silent understand lmaooo its giving "real recognize real😎 " overall tho pluto dom ppl try to give others the benefit of the doubt (not necessarily bc they like them but just bc they wanna feel the energy on their own). like if people are talking shit about someone pluto doms might sit back and stay silent about it. they do their digging on their own. theyre not gonna let the crowd influence how they feel about someone. plutonians will be DOING THEIR DIGGING FIRST no matter what.
I remember a time when my cousin, who’s a Scorpio rising, asked me if I liked one of her friends (not in a romantic way). I said, 'Yeah, why?' and she replied, 'Oh, just asking because she said she feels like you don’t like her, but I knew she was overthinking it.'" We moved on from the conversation, but later, I realized that was such a typical Scorpio rising move. Instead of just telling me, 'Hey, my friend feels like you don’t like her,' she asked me that question first to confirm or deny it. I felt like she did that on purpose to make it harder for me to lie, even though I wouldn’t have lied in the first place. It annoyed me because, like, why would I lie about something like that??? But then I understood it’s just her nature. Scorpio risings ask questions in a detective ass way because they want to dig for the truth and feel out people’s responses.
plutonians and scorpios do that shit all the time, tilting their heads like little cats, squinting, being all like "oh..hmm, why do you think that?" like no im about to do this shit with u rn sherlock fuckin JONES u know WHYYY
in my moon aspects post ppl asked me if it still applied with “harminous aspects” and yes. it still does. just bc u think its easier doesnt negate the energy. for ex i have moon trine neptune and my mom (moon) has always been in her own world (neptune). and other family members find her energy “endearing” or ask me to “be kinder to her” but its also hard when your mom often times cares more about the world of what ifs in her head more than the real world with her daughter ... also my moms way of coping (moon) at times would literally be by saying in front of the family as soon she got home that she hates her life and wish she could “grow wings and be somewhere far away from everyone ” like delulu was always the solution for her 😭….
but also i wonder if people with moon-neptune placements feel confused (neptune) about motherhood (moon) in general. i use to say i didn't want kids but as ive gotten older i do like the idea of it. it just feels very....… [static noises]
nui.views on instagram reminds me of the aries-libra axis so much. Most of her videos have titles like “how to be soft and direct” or “how to balance sharp and soft expressions.” usually titles along those lines. We know theres always time to read the room (libra) but also knowing when its time to stand up or speak up! (aries) and nui.views basically says it’s possible to do both.
12h moons & their moms being their biggest enemyyy is crazy!! 🤨 the passive aggressive behavior, entitlement, hating from the sidelines. AND the expectation of the 12h moon child to “repay” or be “grateful” mother for all they did. my ex had a 12h scorpio moon and brooo anytime they got a good thing, mom would make it all about her (for ex they bought a new car, mom was LIVIDDDDD). the moon can show how mom takes advantage. for ex: scorpio moon in the 12h and mom (moon) is possessive about the resources (scorpio) you have or over you in general. taurus moon and mom (moon) is possessive about your money (taurus) or maybe even holds over your head that “she feeds you.” i have a coworker with a 12h taurus moon and her mom constantly borrows money from her or literally steals it and never pays it back. capricorn moon and mom may feel like your accomplishments belong to her or “you wouldn’t be successful without all i did” energy.
^ their can be a lot of enmeshment with the mom with this placement (especially if their is a moon-pluto aspect) but its something the 12h moon person has to decide to sever or break from on their own and on their own time. this placement has to deal with the “mother always knows best😊😊😊😊” energy
12th house Moon women and other women (Moon) being their hidden enemies (12th house) is so real! I remember at my old job, one of my coworkers had a 12th house Aquarius Moon, and all the women would talk so much shit about her behind her back. (To be fair, she wasn’t doing her job well, but their comments were just unnecessarily nasty.) I used to feel bad for her in meetings because everyone would act normal to her face. I wasn’t at that job long… With this placement, it's common for other women (whether friends, family, or acquaintances) to secretly harbor resentment, jealousy, or animosity that isn’t obvious on the surface. Plus, with 12th house placements, if the person is genuinely doing something wrong or needs feedback, instead of being honest, people often use that as an excuse to bring up unrelated complaints or things they don’t like, turning it into something bigger than it is!! Like girl how did you go from talking about her customer service skills to talking about her haircut be fr!
how do you guys feel about people who plan their pregnancies to get a sign/ birth chart they are compatible with for their child? not gonna lie I use to think that shit was crazy but then I think about the 12h synastry and squares I have with my mom and im like... this shii couldve been way cuter...
gemini placements are the people that wake up in the middle of the night to google a random fact. its a itch they gotta scratch 😭 me with my chart ruler gemini jupiter in the 3h. trying to do type a paper for a class in one sitting? well no i got sidetracked reading about how to defend yourself against bear attacks which led me to bear survival stories on reddit which led me to reading about polar bears which led me to finding an article about the farmer that got attacked and eaten by his own hog named teddy and then… boom . its 3am.
Its so hard though like we know the "jack of all trades" label that comes with mercurial energy but damn what if I just wanna be a jack of one trade and be really good at that one thing? I bounce around from thing to thing because im always getting these diff ideas but im really working on finishing something once I start it. its just hard.... sometimes I b having a lot to yap about, ya know? (ive had many diff hobbies, writing fan-fiction, painting, making candles, crocheting, LMAOOO its just chaos sometimes)
sometimes aspects can be very literal. im spilling some family tea sorry tia but for ex my aunt has venus conjuct pluto in the 10th house and her relationships (venus) are known for (10h) being taboo or just frowned upon (10h). She dated her besties ex-husband and it caused A LOT OF drama and then he fucking died bro...like?? Being known for (10h) her lovers (venus) dying (pluto)?????? im not trying to be a judgmental asshole but also its so disappointing though when people use aspects like this for evil? fucking ur besties man as soon as they get divorced? with that venus-pluto in the 10h she could've found herself a successful ass business man!
my bestie is a teacher and she was telling me about how the kids were sharing about what they wanna be when they grow up and when it got to this one girls turn she said she wanted to be a basketball player or some shit like that (the point is it was a very 5th grade response similar to her peers) but then like the kids started clapping when she said hers??? LMAOOOO and to me that is the most sun-venus SHIT EVER. and then she told me all the the 5th grade tea, how some of the boys have a crush on her haha. shes admired and well liked (venus) just for being who she is (sun)!
moon-venus is different. my experience with venus-moon aspect has consisted of women always feeling comfortable enough to confide me, me feeling more comfy with women around, children loving me, children in my family venting to me (im that one cousin the babies reach out to first to get picked up ejeje). the moon is about the inner self, privacy, and our home life. A moon-venus person might be very well-liked, but often in a more low-key, intimate way. They're the type of person you confide in or feel safe with, rather than someone who shines in the spotlight or dominates a social scene the way a sun-venus person would. both aspects make a person likable, but in different way. sun-venus is more about being confident and noticeable, while moon-venus is more about being caring and emotionally connected with others.
btw doing personalized astro observations in the style of the way i usually write my random ones but instead based on your birth chart 😙🥰
#astro observations#astrology notes#astrology observations#random astro note#random astro#rxmxa#mars#aries#pluto#scorpio rising#sun-venus#moon-venus#virgo rising#saggitarius#gemini#12th house moon#astro notes
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(dom) stoner!kinich high sex pretty pls.... ‼️😣
i dont know what being high is like so pls forgive me if this doesn't make sense :3 fair warning this is kind of over 1k words (I think) +mostly smut
dacryphilia if you kind of squint, gn!afab!reader (no specified prns)
kinich often got high, and always offered you some. but obviously you never obliged, wanting to stay clean for the rest of your life.
you were there every time he did something, anything related to it—and you've always said to stop, yet he simply nods and continues doing it anyway.
he says it's for relief, and other times he says it's for fun.
but one night you get a little curious.
"kin'." you poke at him as he hangs his head back, manspreading into the chair, brushing excess dust away from his nose.
"mmm?" oh he was definitely into it. clear in his voice—a much more different tone was laced, yet he was still coherent, and able to reply. he wasn't the type to take too much of it anyway.
he took a drag from the white powder-like substance on the table- it was cocaine, as well as a quick puff from his cigarette, watching as he let out the huff of smoke away from you. he knows you don't really like it, which is why he was stunned at your sudden question.
"can.. can i try?" your voice was light, with a sense of curiosity. "oh, pretty, you know that curiosity killed the kitty right?" he let out a deep chuckle, you could hear the smokiness in the rasp of his voice. he had offered you a few times before, but seeing your clear distaste for such matters, he didn't try to push it any further.
"please? just once." he let out a laugh at your silly little pleading. "you sure, kitty? this seems to be a bit strong for people who are new to it." "just lemme try some!"
he reluctantly lets you near him, letting you sit near him so he can briefly put it into your mouth. at first, you sneeze at the sudden smell of tobacco. kinich can't help but let out a raspy chuckle at your cute reaction. "too strong?" "no, I'll... I'll take it!"
as you take in your first puff, it definitely felt a lot different than what you imagined. your emotions felt so... enhanced. emphasizing specifically lust, is it possible to lace a cigarette with an aphrodisiac?
well, whatever was inside it got his head buried between your thighs, while your fingers threaded, and grasped at his hair. your drunken little moans definitely only got him more pussy drunk, and drowsy. he couldn't tell if it was the tobacco smell in the air that influenced his taste, or if your essence just tasted that good.
whatever that cigarette was, it definitely enhanced whatever he felt, as well as yours. you could feel his determination to suck you dry with the way his tongue glided over every sport, fuck he hit everything alright...
he held your hips close, not letting you go just yet, no he had to get every little crevice, every little drop he could. he didn't know what the hell was he tasting but archons was it close to celestia. whatever that was.
you couldn't help but spew out pathetic mewls, it was your own fault you took the silly little dust into your system. even as you came right onto his face, you still wanted more.
fuck, squirting into your best friend's mouth like this, it was unethical! so dirty, and naughty, why were you still entertaining these stupid fantasies you had, finally letting these dreams come true.
before you knew it, he was already flipping you onto your back to fuck your tight entrance into oblivion!! he circled his finger around the very rim of your entrance, aching- almost asking for more.
it throbbed harder as you felt him enter with one digit. clenching harshly onto kinich's fingers, he let out a groan. "s'tight... and it's just my fingers..." your back instinctively arched against them, how he was obviously curving the tips of his fingers into that one spot you loved so much.
before you knew it- you were already creaming onto his very palm. the overstimulating feeling from just reaching your peak about five-ish minutes ago by his talented tongue, and now by just as talented fingers.
gosh it's always him and his heightened senses that mixed well with his excitement. his hurriedness almost shocked you frozen—yet your eyes continuously rolled to the very back of your pretty little head, his digits only fastened the pace.
his tongue licked a long stripe all over your nape as a way to tease you, as you slowly calmed down from the exhilarating feeling you had just experienced—but he didn't want you to rest just yet.
his hand leaves the ripe, soft hole. looking back up at him as if to ask for more, and oh would you be getting more.
as if dragging your hips to attach to his, he believed your legs weren't spread far enough; lifting up one of your soft legs onto his shoulder for support.
you were almost already accustomed to his wildness and let your arms go numb beside your head, as his slowly started to enter inside.
you didn't know what to do- but it felt like you had to hold onto something—now wildly grasping onto the sheets below you as your head buried further into the mattress. fuck you felt like you were being split apart right then and there!
"ahhh- kin'- fffuck it hurts..." with you eyebrows knit and a loud wail comes from your throat, he leans down to whisper how he knows that you can take it.
"c'mon I promise it'll feel good once I'm in, pretty..." each word he said, an inch entered inside you—fffuck he loved how you stretched over him so well.
"damn, you're so tight baby- ahh sssshitt..." he stops midway just to admire the little tears that trickled in the edges of your eyelids, and how your hands flailed everywhere, you yourself didn't even know where to place your fingertips on, his neck or the bed itself.
his loud groan didn't help as he pushed the last few inches into, making you shudder- your back ached as it arched once more. almost screaming his name, and lands one of his hands onto your mouth—a finger over your mouth.
"you remember we have guests over, yeah? not too loud now, baby." cold fingertips wipe your tears away, a smirk grows on his expression.
working himself in and out of your hole with a calm pace, knowing that you weren't too used to him—not to mention his size. your little mewls, shit are you begging him to rearrange your insides right now?
he admits that he had fantasized this before, and for as much as he wasn't a virgin while doing this with you right now—he can admit all the girls he fucked he only thought about you the whole time.
and not to mention how turned on he was right now- the mix of getting to fuck you and the drug he took, actually no aside the actual drug, fucking you was the drug.
he'd overdose on it if he could. if he always got to see how you would furrow your brows, your cute little eyes roll to the very rear of your head, and getting to feel your soft skin on his.
the sound of skin slapping against each other was loud, and vulgar, and probably enough to get the attention of your guests outside. even so, you still attempted to hide your wails of pleasure.
before you realize it- you've came onto him for the third time this night, as he finishes inside you as well. squirting everywhere— some of it getting onto his chest, and a bit on his face. his own head throwing back in pleasure, barely holding in his own noises, attaching your hips to his for a bit.
"f- fffuck... never seen anyone squirt like that before. y'wanna do it again?"
#──── resin: performances#genshin impact x reader#genshin drabbles#genshin headcanons#genshin fanfic#genshin x reader#genshin impact scenarios#genshin impact imagines#genshin imagines#genshin impact#genshin impact fanfiction#genshin impact smut#genshin impact x you#genshin smut#genshin x female reader#genshin x you#x reader#smut#kinich smut#genshin impact kinich#kinich x reader#genshin kinich#kinich#kinich x reader smut#kinich x y/n#kinich x you#x you#cw sex mention#cw drugs#cw dacryphilia
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smoking weed and then stoned sex with art plssssssss
been thinking about this for days because i feel like you know art in college, assume that since hes a student athlete and very serious about his sport that he doesn't really partake in drugs and/or alcohol. but you're surprised to learn that he smokes pretty frequently.
leaving a party with him because he's over it and doesn't want to be around a bunch of drunk people. he takes you back to his dorm and you're surprised to see him open up his window and sit on the shitty radiator by the window and offer you a hit of his joint.
you're not used to this, you haven't smoked very often--but you want to stay with him. want to seem cool. even though art would always think you're cool.
so you take a drag. art realizes you aren't used to smoking when you start to cough up a lung. he thinks it's cute. rubs your back as he gives you his water bottle to sip from.
"you didn't have to smoke. i just wanted to offer." he wipes a tear from your cheek.
the reality is that the enormity of your crush on art would lead you to the ends of the earth. but you fear he doesn't feel the same. you're nothing like him--you don't play tennis, you dont think youre extraordinary like those girls on the team with him. but art thinks youre perfect. and twenty minutes later, the effects of the weed start to kick in. you're giggly and touchy and art's eyes look bloodshot but his smile is so easygoing and god he smells so good.
art asks why you don't hang out that much.
"i don't know." you say lowly. "i'd hang out with you everyday if it were up to me."
art leans in closer, wipes the potato chip crumbs from his hands. he's still chewing which makes you giggle. but he agrees with you. "me too. seems like it is up to us. what's stopping us?"
"i dunno. fear of rejection?" you say.
"only the stupidest man in the world would reject you." he rests on his palms, leaning forward. you stand up and sit on his bed, motioning for him to come over. he does, immediately.
"can you help me?" you ask. it's stupid but you're so bad at making the first move. "my mouth is dry."
art smiles, running his thumb over your bottom lip. "is it?" he leans in and kisses you. first it's slow and loving and meaningful. and it doesn't become less meaningful, of course, but he starts to move faster, cradling your head in his hand and leaning into you, pushing his tongue into your mouth and licking yours. moaning as his spit intermingles with yours. he tastes like tobacco and marijuana, like peppermint gum and art donaldson.
he lays you down on the bed, rutting his clothed cock into your cunt, only covered by your thin panties which are exposed from your skirt riding up.
"oh my god, you're fucking perfect." he groans. he is embarrassed by how much he gets off on just grinding against your little pussy, watching how your mouth falls open when the friction stimulates your swollen clit.
"i wanna fuck you." he whispers against your mouth. you've barely heard art cuss. this sounds vulgar coming from him.
"then do it."
he pulls your legs over his shoulders. the stretch hurts but it feels so good to know he'll be fucking into you soon enough. his cock is hard and leaking and there's a wet spot on his boxers. he shushes you as he pushes the head of his cock against your entrance, his thumb rubbing your clit.
"i think my roommate's gonna be back soon."
"then you're gonna have to fuck me hard, aren't you?"
art's cock rests heavy against his stomach. "gonna be a slut for me? lay on your stomach then. i'll fuck you hard."
you obey him and look back over your shoulder as he props your hips up. covers your mouth and pushes in inch by inch by inch.
"pussy's so fucking tight." he gasps as he bottoms out. he leans in and moans against your lips to muffle your whines as he fucks you deep, his balls slapping against your ass. "my mouth is dry now too--get it wet for me?"
you kiss him, spit in his mouth, claw at the hair at the nape of his neck, wet with sweat.
"fuck yourself back on my dick." he nods. it's a whole different side of the sweet boy who shares homework answers for you and saves you half of his clementines for study breaks.
you arch your back and move your ass in tandem with his thrusts, but its not fast enough for him. his fingers dig into the fat of your ass as he slams into you. your legs shake for him. all you can muster is please, please, please--but you don't even know what you're asking for.
art hears his roommate coming down the hall. the thrill of being caught makes his cock twitch, and mixed with your tight little cunt choking his dick--he cums. you muffle your moans into his pillowcase; it's covered in your drool and faint lip gloss marks.
you and art situate yourself before his roommate opens the door.
"did you guys smoke in here?" he asks.
art is shirtless, sitting on the edge of the bed. you're under the covers, pretending to sleep. art's chest is covered in cherry lip gloss, his hair matted with sweat.
"yeah, sorry man, we tried to aim out the window."
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when will we get ur pnf yaoi vs yuri enjoyer list, which I assume u also have
alright. i feel like i probably dont have to explain these to you but other people may benefit.
stacy: you know she loves that girl best friend stuff vanessa: shes a feminist gretchen: i think shes a tumblr lesbian if we're being quite honest and i feel like anyone who has watched enough phineas and ferb episodes to have an informed opinion on gretchen will intuit why i believe that.
perry: self explanatory doof: also self explanatory candace: canonical avengers fan. i guess she could maybe be one of the pepperony girls but honestly i dont see it. i think she was in on the captain america yaoi train. which one? i dont know enough about the avengers to say that, thankfully carl: canonical furry. baljeet: i do think he is EXTREMELY embarrassed about this one though. i think its one of his deepest secrets.
ferb: i know he's cultured. i know he has taste. i know he's the person you go to for incredibly deep cuts within just about any genre of anything. i know he's curated that shit. norm: i think he just donwloads entire chunks of the internet when he's bored. really mixed bag in there
isabella: we know shes got that dog in her buford: critically i think he's reading shit like wuthering heights
phineas: unbothered. in his lane. likes it when everyone on the tv is hanging out and having a good time. jeremy: i think jeremy's media taste is often stuff like Sports or the great british baking show
#major monogram is not on here because i TRULY searched deep within myself#and could not come to an answer i was fully satisfied with#pnf
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The lilithian experience (lilith dominant chart)
Personal experiences w having heavy lilith influence
- Older people being creepy subtly or overtly, but usually subtly with certain looks or touches or comments, especially strangers in public or distant family friends
- Being told Im scary or intimidating, or that I look mean (a girl once told me she thought I wouldnt want to hang out w her and her friends because I looked 'too pretty and kinda mean') [this is esp w lilith/asc harsh aspects]
- Lilith square asc culture is walking into a room a little pissed or in a hurry and everyone shutting up (also works for mars/pluto)
- Now Ive never heard anyone else talking about this but as a lilithian woman Ive always been disgusted by the idea of having sex with a man because in our culture a woman who has sex w a man is seen as having been dominated and degraded by him ("I fucked her" "I hit that" "I scored") also the act itself is very power struggle-ish like no *I* want to bend over a man and make him suck *my* dick
- Being hyperaware of people looking at you (even if youre dressed extremely modestly or without makeup)
- Lilith/moon aspects 🤝 your mom making inappropriate comments about you and your body
- Lilith/sun aspects 🤝 your father insulting you or making weird comments (more subtle w soft aspects so you might brush it off but its still not okay girl)
- People thinking youre flirting with them or others (esp men) but youre just hot and talking, and you cant help that ppl have strong reactions to anything you say really
- Loving eye contact <3 (w the right people)
- Lilith square saturn culture is not being afraid to stand up to authority <3 and having to quite often because they have a pick on you and try to tear you down
- also w lilith square/opposite saturn grown ass adults will have beef w you when youre a kid, esp those w authority over you like teachers, coaches etc
- Lilith/asc harsh aspects and overthinking whether a fit is too revealing or not (because you dont want to get harassed and looked at again) (but then youll grt harassed even if you go out in a priests suit so 🤩)
- People (esp men) trying to use you for sex
- Always being the one guys want to be friends w benefits with while theyre crushing on another girl
- "I dont like what you do to me" - most men Ive interacted with for a while
- A guy told me he liked me for who I am but he couldnt stand "the effect I have on him"
- lilith in 4th house culture is attracting men w mommy issues and being looked at by guys in relationships
- lilith/mercury and needing to know all your friends bdsm test results
- People liking when youre mean 2 them
- People who hate you often want to have sex w you
- Ive had so many guys in my class literally have to gather up courage to talk 2 me, even for basic things like asking me to help w something, they approach me looking all tense and worked up like Ill slice their head off for asking me to help them with their math lmao
- A classmate (and friend, apparently) of my friend once didnt want to come out and meet me when I went to my friends school to give her something because she thought Id beat her up (for context I found out she said some nasty things to my friend and was not happy about it)
- Being told by ppl (esp men) that I remind them of characters who are villains
- People esp girls not liking me for no reason or being rude
- Guys in relationships being extremely cold and rude to me or even shittalking me to their gfs (you can guess why)
- People trying to 'put you in your place'
- Recognizing other lilithians immediately
- Being insecure about your private parts, your body in general and your appearance
- Sex obsession since a young age
- Sexual harassment unfortunately
#lilith#astro observations#astro placements#horoscope#plutonian#astrology#lilith square ascendant#lilith astrology#lilith aspects#pluto placements#tw mysoginy
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