#this is where comedy peaked

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[mistress-riddle]

"i could fix him" "i could make him worse" i could put him in really uncomfortable situations that are literally normal to everyone else but torture to his unsociable and unaffectionate ass.

[chirpsythismorning]

Mentally I'm here (wait for it…)

[tofufei]

[kalashnikovlobotomy]

nonsense au of a pretty good romanian movie about 6 people's lives intertwining before the communist revolution

[wolvesandshine]

Time passed differently in Azkaban.

Or maybe that was just Barty losing his last remaining brain cells. Either way, he was beyond caring.

Evan was dead. Dorcas was dead. Regulus was dead. Pandora was forever lost to him - locked up as he was in Azkaban.

So really, Barty doesn’t bother to acknowledge his new cell mate.

Whatever he’d done, he was no threat to Barty.

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Barty blinks. That voice. It sounded so similar but it couldn’t be -

Barty turned to see the new comer, seeing black hair and grey eyes, his heart beat picking up.

He was alive, he was alive - and -

Oh. Barty slumped, as he realised the person in front of him was not in fact, Regulus arising from the dead.

Sirius, the objectively worse brother, was still ranting. “He’s a fucking death eater and - “ Suddenly he cuts himself off and then starts laughing mumbling something about how he’d join the club. As if Sirius Black would ever become a death eater.

He sounded deranged, unstable, even to Barty’s ears.

The auror seems horrified and without much more effort dumps Sirius in the cell and hightails it out of there.

“If I had known all I had to do to get them to leave was laugh I would have done it ages ago.” Barty muses and Sirius suddenly stops laughing, turning to him.

“You.”

Barty simply stares back.“Yes. Me.”

Sirius ignores him. “What did you lot do to Regulus.”

The name turns Barty cold. “Why would you care? I thought you didn’t have a brother.”

At this, Sirius visibly flinches and Barty stares, shocked. The Sirius Black he knew never displayed any emotions, especially with regards to Regulus that wasn’t blatant disinterest.

Sirius stares at him. “I.. Look.I need to know. I just.. I need to know.”

Barty hears it the familiar heartbreak. That’s the thing isn’t it? He didn’t know either. He had assumed that the order had somehow got their hands on Regulus but well, it was foolish to assume so anyways. Regulus was much too smart to be caught.

“I don’t know.”

At that Sirius intakes a quick breath, “So he’s alive then? There was no body so he could have run away- “

“Regulus was many things but he wasn’t a coward.” Barty cuts in coldly. Regulus wouldn’t just leave them. At least not without informing first.

Sirius just slumps, tears filling his eyes. Good. Barty thinks. Sirius had caused Regulus enough pain. Maybe it was sadistic but it felt good to know that Sirius was also hurt by Regulus.

Finally when Barty thinks that’s it Sirius adds. “He was always one to keep things close to him.”

Barty couldn’t help but bark out a laugh. He had been Regulus’s friend for 7 years and at most he could say he knew 5 facts about him. “Understatement of the century.”

And then they both look at each other and laugh, a harsh sound that comes from grief for the boy they both loved but couldn’t save.

[diana-daphne]

The door bell playing the opening to scenes from an Italian restaurant over and over again took me OUT

[wutheringmights]

(and it did make em worse, womp womp)

they’re toxic yaoi to me

[izzyzalezbian]

Working on a crazy, spectacular, never before seen fic idea. Y'all wouldn't get it. (Obey Me, Home Alone AU)

[vonlipvig]

a little gift for my friend eleanor @bagadew who wanted to see thee girlboss of the skies herself, carolyn knapp-shappey from cabin pressure! i had a lot of fun drawing her and reminiscing about this great radio show (man, i should really relisten to it!), i really hope you like it!

[respectthepetty]

Me looking at my long list of wild ass theories for Dangerous Romance and trying to figure out how they will all fit into the last four episodes:

I still need a dad shot

A house robbed

And Name to weasel his way into that house

Kang and Sailom are about to go on their little honeymoon spending all of daddy's money, which I was hoping would be episode 8.

Because that means the house isn't getting robbed until the end of episode 9 or not until episode 10 now?! Which will put all the angst in episode 11?! Don't panic. Deep breaths. DEEP BREATHS!

I'm not upset because the dad has not been shot yet. That makes me seem evil. I'm just getting teary-eyed thinking about how lovely it will be when after spending all his dad's money and telling his dad he'd rather not have him as a father and his father hitting him, the dad gets shot. *smiles like the Grinch*

Especially because Saifah will be blamed for it (WHERE ARE YOU, NAME?! I NEED YOU TO CAUSE TROUBLE!) after the grandma said she trusted him.

I still have faith in my wild ass theories because if these two are erotically and aggressively feeding each other, anything is possible.

Hashtag Daddy Gets Shot Episode 9?

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[bruqh]

best thing about dropout is that every single piece of content they put out is better than the last

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Last night on Discord, I was talking about how funny it'd be if Ford came across that little 'I'm a Preteen' blurb in TBOB, and was like "Okay, well, he's OBVIOUSLY lying. Except...he was in the Nightmare Realm for a trillion years. A crumbling mess of chaos with no rules or logic...And Dipper and Mabel told me that Mabel's bubble had the ability to make summer last forever. Would it...be a stretch to assume it came from a place with similar abilities? No, that's silly...right?"

Cue the rest of the family walking in on him the next morning with a whole red yarn conspiracy board, as he tries to figure out if he was actually acting as some interdimensional demon's babysitter for the past thirty years.

[haleyusesherwords]

How Tango intended the Dungeon Lackey would be used: I’ll help players survive the dungeon! They’ll have more successful runs! Maybe they will try for better artifacts or learn new secrets of the dungeon!

How Dungeon Lackey is actually used: Artifacts? Who needs those, these shenanigans are comedy GOLD

[ribbittrobbit]

u kno what, i fucking love that people on dropout are normal people with normal bodies, all different and wonderful and beautiful

fuck uniformity