#this is what social history does to a person

[rottenpumpkin13]

please how does friendsgiving go for asgzc??

• Sephiroth spends three weeks researching "typical family Thanksgiving dynamics". His primary conclusion: family gatherings are less about gratitude and more about emotional warfare. He decides he will replicate this to get the most authentic experience possible.

• Angeal assigns everyone designated dishes through a groupchat he forcibly created titled "ain't nobody help last year"

• Texts sent to the group include "Genesis, you're on pie duty, and I swear to Gaia if you bring apple pie instead of pumpkin pie ,I'll personally escort you back to the goddess with a wooden spoon inserted in an unkind place."

• Sephiroth walks through the door and immediately starts asking everyone who they voted for in the last election.

• Cloud is assigned potatoes. He brings yams. Angeal is confused. Cloud is confused. Angeal just pats him on the head and tells him to go sit down.

• Zack is banned from bringing anything requiring actual cooking after the time he tried to "speed up" the cooking process with fire materia and singed off Angeal's eyebrows. He's now only allowed to bring drinks and plastic utensils. Still manages to bring paper plates that dissolve on contact with hot food.

• Sephiroth sees Zack and Cloud having a friendly talk and decides to bring up Aerith and his opinions on who's a better suitor for her.

• Angeal starts stress drinking in the kitchen as soon as Genesis walks through the door with an apple pie and his sword to defend himself.

• Zack gets effectively banned from the kitchen because he keeps picking at the food and eating it. Angeal tried the wooden spoon as a method of discipline, but the spoon had gravy on it so Zack kept trying to lick it.

• Sephiroth hones in on Zack as he's leaving the kitchen.

Sephiroth: So how are your career aspirations progressing relative to statistically average performance metrics for individuals of your demographic? *Zack starts crying*

• Cloud brought Banora White apples instead of the bread rolls he was assigned. When asked about this, he says Genesis told him bread rolls were "cancelled" and he had to bring apples instead. Angeal has the type of breakdown where he's on the kitchen floor, laughing with a wine glass in hand while having a conversation with the turkey in the oven.

• Angeal posts an aesthetic picture on his social media with the whole group smiling. He captions it "Grateful for friends ❤️" but the reality is that he yelled at them two minutes before the photo was taken because no one remembered to bring drinks.

• Three different music playlists compete for dominance: Genesis' orchestral versions of Loveless: the musical, Zack's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" on repeat, and Sephiroth's documentary podcast about the history of cutlery.

• There's a photo of Sephiroth on Zack's camera roll where he's dissociating while eating a turkey leg ???

• Cloud and Zack have a fallout because the way mac n' cheese is made in Gongaga vs. Nibelheim is a serious cultural divide.

Zack: In Gongaga, we add tomato sauce! Cloud: In Nibelheim, we add breadcrumbs! Sephiroth: Mac n' cheese is not native to either regions. *unintelligible yelling from Zack and Cloud*

• Genesis is asked to lead the group in prayer before the meal.

Genesis: Our goddess who resides within the Lifestream, when the war of the beasts brings about the world's end— Zack: NO.

• They all go around saying what they're thankful for.

Zack: I'm thankful for my best friend Cloud!

Cloud: I'm thankful for the opportunity to be here with you guys.

Genesis: I'm thankful for poetry.

Angeal: I'm thankful for patience and wine.

Sephiroth: I'm thankful that statistically speaking, all of us have unresolved childhood traumas that directly stem from our inability to process emotions, form healthy attachments, and keep secrets. For example, Genesis broke Angeal's favorite mug.

Genesis: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL!

Angeal: THE GREEN MUG?

Zack: WTF YOU TOLD ME THE YELLOW MUG I GAVE YOU FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY WAS YOUR FAVORITE!

Cloud: YOU GAVE ANGEAL A MUG BUT GOT ME A KEYCHAIN?

*they all start yelling at each other*

Sephiroth: Thanksgiving feels authentic now.

[inkcoffinz]

A brief (yes, this is brief) collection of my thoughts about Scotland- Or Alasdair Kirkland: his motivations, backstory, personality, and all that jazz! I will be taking from both a historical and comic canonical aspects mixed with my own headcanons and interpretations.

Enjoy the read~

Starting off strong with a basic understanding of Alasdair’s personality. While he doesn’t have a lot of screen time, we have enough to gather a basic understanding of what he is like. On the surface, Alasdair is a seemingly stoic individual, often carrying a neutral face and reacting to things with an impassive demeanor. This is only really half true though, as a lot of the times we see these kinds of reactions are almost always strictly with his brothers alone. When he is around people he’s less comfortable with, especially one’s he desires a bond with, Alasdair takes on both a more outwardly aloof personality, but also a noticeably more stressed one.

This leads me to my assumption that Alasdair likely has some sort of social awkwardness or social anxiety. It’s likely that he doesn’t interact with other nations outside of his brothers (especially since England is the only one of the four who go to world meetings). This leaves him with a sort of stunted social understanding and a struggle to be in control of his emotions in situations that he is unfamiliar with.

Alasdair is also likely autistic. Not only does he have this struggle with his emotions and anxiety around situations he has less experience with, but he also shows a lack of understanding of social cues on a few occasions. A good example is when Macawn (wales) starts proudly talking about King Arthur and his pride with how he was welsh and Alasdair interrupts him with an article of how King Arthur was actually Scottish. He continues talking about it even with Macawn being visibly upset at the thought and having such an attachment to King Arthur. You can see in Alasdair’s expression and mannerisms that he truly meant no harm sharing the information but didn’t notice the cues around him to not bring up such a sore subject around his brother. This is also more evidence on Alasdair’s struggle with social interaction.

Against popular belief (and fanon headcanon), Alasdair is a very sweet and loving man, caring for others outside of himself- especially his brothers. While, yes, he does pick on Arthur (England), he honestly has very good reason to. In fact, Alasdair loves his brothers so much that he actively gives up his own desires and wellbeing for their happiness and safety. In the Brexit arc, Alasdair wants to leave the uk because being in it is actively hurting him, yet he gives that idea up when faced with the thoughts of what his younger brothers would do without him.

He loves his brothers more than anything- even if he lovingly makes fun of them from time to time. (But who doesn’t do that with their siblings.)*

*this is especially why I hate the fanon idea that Scotland is some sort of abuser- especially toward England- because in actuality he is the complete opposite.

((I will be getting more in detail about Alasdair and Arthur’s relationship later))

I will now shift my thoughts over to his backstory and how Alasdair’s childhood- teen years helped shape him into the man he is today.

Alasdair is a really interesting dude in the fact that, similar to Scottish history itself, he’s full of contradictions. He was raised practically in war- being likely born during the Roman invasion of Britannia, his teenage years being filled with Viking raids, and his adulthood of wars against England (and to an extent- internal disputes). To put it simply, he was raised a soldier. From the way that he acts in the comics- being very quick to act for the group’s self interest rather than self preservation and the fact he is prone to quick violent defense when threatened, it’s likely he still keeps a lot of the mindset that he would’ve had on the battlefield with him. He yearns for his freedom from his brothers and is aware of how much it hurts him staying with them, yet at the same time doesn’t want to leave them to fend for themselves and takes their happiness and safety into his own hands.

Canonically, he is the eldest. He was the one who had to help raise his brothers and watch what they all grew into with his own eyes. With this intense desire to keep them safe, I think he carries quite a lot of unshown guilt over a lot of things. I see a few people writing Alasdair like he is in denial of the monster Arthur became and doesn’t want to see the truth, which I think is actually the opposite of what’s likely happening. Alasdair out of any of them would be the most aware of Arthur’s descent and likely have a lot of guilt over it that he tries not to dwell on. I think his bullying of Arthur is both as an act of defiance to him and also an outlet for him to relieve his anger about how things turned out. He can turn that guilt into anger and direct it at England.

On the topic of his relationship with Arthur, combined with the topic of Alasdair’s contradictions, we come to the British empire. Do I think Alasdair hated what Arthur and the British empire were doing? Yes, do I think he was lowkey a coward and never really stood in true defiance against him? Also, yes. When it comes down to it, Scotland benefitted from the British empire- they helped create it and Scottish people also caused a lot of colonization by their hands (Northern Ireland being a good example) Alasdair wanted to stand up to Arthur.. but why didn’t he? I think to an extent he did.. but I think that lowkey.. Alasdair is just a pushover. I think he is. We can even see it in the brexit arc- he was very outwardly against the idea until they all said they wanted to and he went along with it because he didn’t want to split up the family. He loves his brothers to the point where he inadvertently ignores their mistakes and atrocities because he doesn’t want to truly hurt the only people he calls his family. His cowardice is also important because along with it comes his denial of that aspect of himself. He doesn’t want to be a pushover and a coward- he wants to be the strong warrior that he wanted to be when he was younger and had to fight for himself. He wants to protect people and the ones he loves and hates how easily he folds into negativity.

A really important relationship that I want to bring attention to (and often do a lot on my page) is Scotland’s relationship with Northern Ireland. A really interesting thing about Alasdair is his implied affinity for Logan (Northern Ireland ). I have a few explanations for this- an obvious one being that Northern Ireland was mostly settled and colonized by lowland Scots so ofc he has affection towards him, BUT I like to take another approach with the fact that Northern Ireland is likely the one brother that Alasdair really has a connection with. Arthur and Macawn are obviously quite close and are often seen agreeing with eachother or having a general connection that you don’t really see with Scotland. Alasdair is lowkey the outlier of the family and likely clings to Logan cause he’s the other ‘weird’ one.

Tldr- Alasdair is lonely. I really think he is. Even amongst his brothers, he has a loneliness that he can’t really fill. I think this is why he tries so hard to make friends in the story and why it lowkey upsets him so much when it fails

It is 3 in the morning currently so I will end this here, but I will likely have more soon. Thanks for reading!

[sanyu-thewitch05]

Me watching the LGBT community who almost never rarely gives black women and girls, asexuals, or aromantics genuine respect, pretend we’re all friends and have always treated us right the minute it’s June 1st and want to use black women(mainly darkskinned) and girls as their little poster girl:

[mountmortar]

went to grab a bottle of water and saw how bright the full moon was in the sky and started looking at it and then got hit with the absolute gutpunch of a realization that the full moon i'm looking at is the same one that shone down on every life form that has ever come into being on this earth

[lemonhemlock]

https://twitter.com/Targ_Nation/status/1611158240359759872?t=bfo77HLITj21KBLCUKx6fA&s=19

Seeing all those likes took years off my life

i don't even know where to begin............

"centrist bs" - the concept of left and right doesn't exist in a medieval setting ...................

where was this energy when cersei was committing abuses left and right and placing her bastard children on the throne? why didn't "the modern audience" "almost unanimously stand by the side of the woman being usurped of her throne" back then? 😵

but this isn't even about one side being more wrong than the other or both sides being awful or war being horrible as a rule or the smallfolk always paying with their lives and livelihoods when the high lords play their game of thrones

that entire tweet is predicated on not grasping the basic principles of the polity they are operating within 😫 you cannot define usurpation based on absolute primogeniture when that society relies on male primogeniture for inheritance, in that context it literally means the opposite

words don't somehow gain whatever meaning you want based on what you think is fair, same how laws don't materialize into existence just because you say so. any kind of law is a social construct, doesn't exist outside the confines of society and requires a certain kind of framework in order to be accepted & enforced. if proposed laws are not accepted by the majority and cannot be enforced, they only exist on the astral plane

there aren't even any proper institutions in westeros. literally the only ones i can identify are the crown and the small council, which serves as a kind of proto-government. there's no parliament, there's no proper justice system, no magna charta. the only courts that seem to operate are Faith-based courts and your liege lord's judgment. medieval-style legal systems and law enforcement are headache-inducing as a rule anyway, but feudal monarchies generally involve constant negotiations and power leverages between kings and their vassals

a more apt characterization of the Dance would be what exactly and how much can the targaryens get away with now that they've decided to impose themselves as rulers of a unified westeros. so far, they had to accept the religion of the land (aegon the conqueror was anointed by the high septon) and were forced to renounce polygamy. they got to keep practicing incest as a result of jaehaerys' successful doctrine of exceptionalism. see? negotiation. now the question remains - are they going to respect succession laws like a normal person (i.e. Andal Law) or are they going to resort to this ridiculous circus every time a targaryen monarch dies? because at the point of the dance, there had hardly been a straightforward transition of power since the conquest

for the internal coherence of this fictional world to be maintained, the nobles should be pushing Andal inheritance rights like crazy, because their own succession is decided on the basis of that and they would be directly interested in not fucking it up for themselves or their descendants by having weird precedents set by the royal family. a lot of these lords, if not most, have bastard siblings/children of their own, as well as elder sisters/daughters. it doesn't make sense for them to threaten their own stability for the sake of rhaenyra of all people, who isn't even good at her job and has done absolutely nothing to endear herself to them. what could they possibly gain by supporting her?

the question of the monarch imposing a law is much more believable in a centralized state, which westeros most definitely is not. imposing laws can also be done via force, of course, as long as """the state""" retains the monopoly on violence. the targaryens' v effective military superiority has so far been conferred by dragons. but rhaenyra's side isn't the only one that has dragons anymore. the opposing faction, i.e. the side who'd perpetuate Andal law, also has them now, as it happens. ergo war.

this situation is absolutely not similar in any way to today's democracies where laws are voted by parliament and the rest of the country have no choice but to abide by them or else the police come knocking on your door and hand you over to the our modern justice system, where your punishment is set by objective specialists & not decided by crazy stunts like trial by ordeal or the whims of your liege lord

tldr: there is no incentive for westerosi nobility to break andal succession law for rhaenyra, since it would be legal self-sabotage by setting a precedent that could come to bite those very same people in the a*se. rhaenyra is NOT an only child - by having trueborn brothers, the only way she can ascend is by breaking the laws & customs of the land. ergo disgruntled lords will inevitably flock to alicent's sons to form covert alliances & subversive power centres that, in time, will erupt in open rebellions. real-world historical examples attest to this happening with or without the consent of their respective figureheads (eg. lady jane grey) - i.e. it doesn't matter if aegon/aemond/daeron play happy families or not. in turn, the only way rhaenyra can prevent this is by executing her brothers/their male descendants. the greens don't want to die => the only way of achieving security for them is by claiming the throne.

alternatively, rhaenyra's life is not in danger as long as she bends the knee, as no-one in-universe would take her claim seriously with 3 living brothers. rhaenys also bent the knee to viserys after losing an election and is still alive. i'll say it again: it is not in the lords' best interest to support rhaenyra in the first place. if we are to go by any logic - what would they gain, should they flock to her? they would destabilize the line of succession for themselves for a (pretty terrible) queen, a reviled king consort and a bastard heir. but, as far as advantages and favours are concerned, what would they be, specifically? in order to outweigh the above-mentioned disadvantages?

you should all blame viserys for getting remarried and fathering sons, because had rhaenyra remained an only child or had only sisters, none of this would be happening & she would have become the first ruling queen of westeros

[uxbridgeenglishdictionary]

My period for food is late Elizabethan, but I think I might be able to shed some light on "10 August" and the "severe tea" due to a keen interest in historical English menus. If you just want my recommendation for what to eat, here you go:

"white bread finger sandwiches filled with water-cress and radish with whipped butter"

But if you want to go down the rabbit hole with me and learn about severe teas, or to see a full menu - click that read more button babeyy.

A disclaimer: Some generalisations will inevitably be made; I'm not working this up for publication. If in doubt as to sources, I'm working off Erika Rappaport's published works or Mrs Beeton.

Severe here does serve as an intensifier of quantity, not quality. To put the taking of afternoon tea into some kind of context, it was a relatively new meal. You said something about yourself by taking afternoon tea: it was daring and fashionable, but also a strong statement of support for the Empire! and at the same time a Temperance movement reaction to all that booze ppl were necking.

Tea as a meal isn't just the light and fussy finger-sandwiches and cream scones that most 21st century people would imagine. Tea could be taken at-home (less formal! even eaten standing up!), as a high tea (extremely formal! high quality tea leaves! maybe even some wine!), as a meal to tide you over between lunch and dinner (not supper though, we can't get into that right now), etc etc. There are entire books written about the competing tea cultures between classes and localities... Mina and Lucy have a class difference, so I'm going to default to higher-class/higher-society options.

ANYWAY:

If you're ever in doubt as to what would be eaten at a particular meal during the Victorian era, I recommend checking out Mrs Beeton. She was writing for the edification of middle-classes rather than the truly posh toffs, but it can serve as a corner-cutting exercise if you're looking to cosplay (cos-eat?) a Victorian meal rather than Historic-England-approved reenactment.

Beeton states that, if the hostess was providing said afternoon tea at home, she should ensure:

"fresh supplies of it, with thin bread-and-butter, fancy sandwiches, sweets, cakes, etc., being forthcoming as fresh guests arrive."

SO - SANDWICHES:

For Mina and Lucy, the fancy sandwiches should be:

"left perfectly plain on the outside, but when they may be eaten with a fork, some pretty effects may be produced by decorating them with variously-coloured chaud-froid sauces. Or they may be decorated with cold aspic jelly, and garnished with lobster coral, Krona pepper, parsley, hard-boiled egg, etc."

Fillings-wise, Beeton recommends water-cress and radish with whipped butter. Hence my recommendation at the top of the post. Remember the top of the post? Good times.

Now if you're REALLY hungry or want to have a severe tea a la Dracula, Mrs Beeton says:

At the usual high tea there are probably to be found one or two small hot dishes, cold chickens, or game, tongue or ham, salad, cakes of various kinds, sometimes cold fruit tarts, with cream or custard, and fresh fruit. Any supper dish, however, can be introduced, and much more elaborate meals be served, while sometimes the tea and coffee are relegated to the sideboard, and wine only, in the way of drink, put upon the table. In summer it is not unusual to have everything cold at a high tea.

I can hear you say "Uxbridge, just get to the full menu please".

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I live to serve (tea):

Menu (easily accessible and can be made at home without cracking out the aspic and the jelly molds):

Food:

Watercress and radish sandwiches

Cold ham

Strawberry and cream tart

Pears

Thinly sliced white bread

Whipped butter

Jams (if you can get marmalade even better)

Victoria sponge cake

Potted meat/sardines

Hardboiled eggs

Cold chicken, parsley, and apple salad

Drinks:

Indian/black tea - ideally loose leaf, served with cream or milk, and white sugar

Coffee - also served with cream or milk, brown sugar

A red wine, ideally French

Thanks for reading this long-ass post.

As to the great quote found by @thethirdromana in the Churchman's shilling magazine:

a severe tea... "implies coffee, tea, and muffins, with substantials".

Victorian muffins were made with potatoes - which was mildly unnerving to learn today. Substitute with scones or American style biscuits. Substantials basically means that the dishes should be plentiful and filling!

Mem., get recipe for Mina: a food guide to Dracula Daily

Inspired by There and Snack Again (in which you eat along with the LOTR movies), this is your guide to eating and drinking along with Dracula Daily.

All under a cut because there's no way I can do this with extensive spoilers. I strongly recommend not reading this unless you already know what happens in Dracula. Also only if you're comfortable reading about alcoholic drinks - there's a lot of booze in this novel.

Let's eat!

2 May We start with the famous paprika hendl. Google "chicken paprikash" and choose whichever recipe most strikes your fancy.

3 May For breakfast, choose from mamaliga (cornmeal porridge, similar to grits), "impletata" (vânătă umplută - stuffed aubergine) or anything with more paprika in it.

4 May For dinner, Jonathan has robber steak: "bits of bacon, onion, and beef, seasoned with red pepper, and strung on sticks and roasted over the fire".

5 May Slivovitz, if you'd like it (Jonathan declines). Then, for dinner, Dracula serves up roast chicken, with some cheese, a salad and a glass or two of Tokaji wine.

6 May "A cold breakfast" for Jonathan. In Romania a cold breakfast might include boiled eggs, telemea (sheep's cheese), franzela (bread) with assorted spreads, sliced cucumber and tomatoes, and sunculita taraneasca (sliced smoked pork). Jonathan also has "an excellent supper", but doesn't tell us what that includes.

16 May Would it be too bleak if I suggested eating a symbolic Jelly Baby?

26 May A glass of wine as Quincey and Jack congratulate Arthur and drown their sorrows.

18 June There's a kind of Scottish fruit slice called "flies' graveyard". That might make a suitable snack given Renfield's meal today.

24 June I guess a gingerbread woman, for the wolves? IDK, it turns out doing this for a horror novel is a bit grim.

8 July Thankfully the internet has hundreds of ideas for spider-themed cakes so you can eat along with Renfield.

18 July The voyage of the Demeter begins! Celebrate by eating like a sailor: have some salt pork, or make ship's biscuit.

20 July Renfield has just eaten several sparrows. Provide redress by feeding birds near you, bird flu guidance permitting.

24 July Imitate the "feet-folk" from York and Leeds by drinking some tea or eating some cured herring.

10 August Lucy and Mina enjoy a "severe tea". There are lots of severe teas in Victorian literature, but few writers actually describe what's in it - e.g. the Churchman's shilling magazine, 1868, has a story with a severe tea "which implies coffee, tea, and muffins, with substantials". What are substantials? I have no idea, but that's what you should eat today.

11 August Dracula has a little nibble on Lucy. I don't suggest doing this for every vampire bite in the novel, but given this one is particularly significant, how about marking the occasion with some black pudding?

30 August No food details for a while, but in this entry, Lucy notes that she "has an appetite like a cormorant" and "Arthur says I am getting fat". Celebrate with some cake.

3 September Van Helsing has been! And surely he wouldn't have come all the way from the Netherlands empty-handed? Acknowledge his visit with some gouda or a stroopwafel.

4 September Eat some sugar, which Renfield has requested for his flies.

7 September To stay in line with what the characters actually eat and drink, have a glass of port (though ideally not if you've just given blood). But for the real spirit of the day, consider a corn-on-the-cob.

9 September Free space! Jack has "an excellent meal" but doesn't say what it is. Dig into your favourite dinner.

10 September A sip of brandy, with which Van Helsing wets Lucy's lips.

11 September The garlic flowers arrive. There's lots that you can make with wild garlic - personally, I like it in risotto.

17 September A boxful of garlic flowers arrive for Lucy every day. Time to make chicken with 40 cloves of garlic. Other options for today include more black pudding (in honour of Renfield lapping up Jack's blood) or sherry.

18 September The Zookeeper enjoys a teacake, and so shall we.

20 September No food, but the labourers have "a stiff glass of grog". This is rum diluted with water, but you could also add lemon or lime juice, sugar, and/or cinnamon.

25 September Nibble another Jelly Baby for the Bloofer Lady.

29 September A lot happens in this entry, but there's not a lot of food. There are thirsty labourers, however. Maybe have a beer?

30 September Mina makes everyone a pot of tea. Also, we don't know what they have for dinner, but they eat it at 7pm, if you'd like to time your evening meal accordingly.

1 October More tea! Since this is being gulped down by a working man, make it builder's style - strong, sweet, lots of milk.

2 October Jonathan visits the Aërated Bread Company. He only has a cup of tea, but you could have whatever you like best from their menu:

(source)

3 October Dracula forces Mina to drink his blood like "a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk". You could either have some more black pudding, or drink a glass of milk in solidarity with Mina.

15 October The Crew of Light aren't focusing much on meals any more, but they have travelled on the Orient Express. Here's the 1887 dining car menu.

(source - I can't vouch for the accuracy of a random person on Twitter but it looks plausible)

29 October No one is thinking of food in this bit of the novel (though Mina makes yet more tea), but as they're heading to Romania, have some sarmale. These stuffed cabbage rolls are the Romanian national dish.

31 October Mina and Van Helsing have "a huge basket of provisions". Have a picnic in their honour, if it's warm enough where you are.

1 November Mina and Van Helsing have "hot soup" into which the local cooks have put an extra amount of garlic. Consider having a truly extra amount of garlic with this 44-garlic-clove soup.

7 November The Crew of Light return to Transylvania. No details of food, but in honour of their journey, I would suggest a final round of chicken paprikash, to bring us back to where it all began.

[nomairuins]

and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do

[whirlybirbs]

— CAN'T WE BE SEVENTEEN? ; shoto todoroki ; 焦凍

summary: he's loved you since he was seventeen. pairing: f!reader x pro hero!shoto ; reader was a 1-A student tags: mutual pining, heavy make-out, thinly veiled sugar daddy shoto, reader does not go pro, touya might be a dick but he's a hero now, shoto is bad at feelings wordcount: 5.6k a/n: i do not fucking know what came over me, enjoy your food my little todorokinas. yes the title is what you think it is. no i will not elaborate.

You never did go pro.

Truthfully, you thought there would be more pushback when, in your senior year, you announced your plan to pursue a degree in early childhood education with a focus on non-conforming quirk development. 

The War changed a lot. It changed you, your classmates, and the world. But, through it all one thing stuck with you:

What if someone helped Tenko Shimura?

How different would his life have been? How different would history have spun? 

You graduated at the top of your class and joined the faculty at Chiba Prefectural Preparatory School for Quirk Specialties two years ago. 

Chiba Prep was opened eight years ago in response to a societal cry for more infrastructure around what was dubbed "non-conforming quirks": a nice way to say quirks that can injure, maim, or kill. Maybe even all three on a bad day. Some parents still see their child being labeled as a non-conforming quirk user in the national database as akin to social suicide. 

You see it differently.

Your quirk allows you to manipulate emotions — anger, sadness, betrayal, love, hatred. If you can feel it, you can sink it into another's psyche deep enough to drive them to act. You can even imbue things with feelings. For example, a cup of warm milk can transform into more than just a simple comfort, now it can hold the feeling of home and safety, or even exhaustion strong enough to put even the biggest foe to rest. 

You could easily use your quirk with nefarious intent. 

You could steep hatred in someone's bone so deep it drives them to harm themselves. You could sew fury so solid into someone's mind it drives them to violence. 

Just a touch and you can control others with something so intrinsically personal it only exists within themselves: their feelings.

What makes you any different from little Asuke, a shy little girl with a quirk that allows her to see people's greatest fears, and then manifest and control them? You're convinced she can use this for good, if only with practice. In your mind, her future is bright and glimmering. Perhaps she will become a therapist, focusing on exposure therapy? Or, maybe the most prolific horror novelist in their time? 

Or, bright and sunny Tao — a transplant whose parents sought out Chiba Prep's specialized education — whose heteromorphic quirk makes his bodily fluids, namely saliva, eat through nearly anything but his own biologics. A sneeze is quickly the most dangerous thing in the world for the cheery, lizard-bodied class clown. 

He's just a boy given a quirk that needs more care. 

He isn't a villain-in-training. 

None of them are.

It's important to teach them that young — and as their teacher for Year 3 of their elementary schooling, you aim to hammer that in as much as possible. They deserve to feel normal. To feel loved and supported. They aren't scary, they're children. 

So, you take it upon yourself to insist on pushing for privileges like field trips. There aren't many public spaces that welcome the classes of Chiba Prep with open arms. Over the years, there have been plenty of incidents. But, a day trip into the city to visit Tokyo's Hall of Heroes is green-lit with bubbling excitement from both faculty, the children, and their parents. 

You usually keep your history as a graduated member of Class 1-A quiet. 

After all, you never did go pro.

And even still, Shoto Todoroki never stopped thinking about you.

He remembers that weekend everyone moved back in for their last year before graduation. He remembers you smiling at him, and helping him drag up a duffel of luggage from the common room to his dorm. You made a joke about how you're sure he got taller over the summer, and how his hair is longer now. You said you liked it. 

It was the beginning of the end, then.

His crush was a silent, smothering thing. It made it hard to think. Shoto had enough on his plate thanks to Touya's acceptance into the Villain Rehabilitation Program and his father's insistence on staving off retirement. Not to mention his parent's divorce — no matter how amicable, it was still a separation. Add on training, tests, studying, finals, and j-term classes... And a desperate, writhing, burning crush on the nicest girl in class? 

Touya's elbow digs into Shoto's side.

It drags him back to reality — to the stifled quiet of the historical Hall of Heroes. 

Suddenly, the doors to the wing squeak open, and a tour guide ushers in the elementary school class. The buzzing excitement and wonder are visible on each of their faces as the attendant — one of the HoH's lead tour guides — excitedly explains the newest, in-progress addition to the Hall:

Endeavor's wing. 

There's a whisper of awe that ripples through the children as their teacher and co-teacher follow, and as the class moves through the large, open space. They're staring up eagerly at the gilded statue in the center of the room. It's larger than life and intimidating. Years ago, Shoto might have had to fight the odd tremble in his knees at the reminder it brings: to be small in his father's shadow again. But, things are different now. 

Very different.

Touya scoffs. "I thought this wing wasn't open to the public yet."

"They're just children," Shoto hums, turning his back on the gaggle across the way to inspect the large mural winding along the back end of the installation, "I'm sure it's—"

"Oh, ho, no way!"

Shoto quirks his brow at his brother's outburst. His elbow digs into Shoto's ribs again. 

"Ain't that the pretty girl you never got the balls to ask out your senior year?" comes the rasped drawl of his older brother's voice. Touya is clearly amused, his white hair hanging in his eyes as he leans forward to squint, "She is cute, Sho'—"

"Shut up," Shoto grits, turning his head over his shoulder; he tries to bite back the flurry of nerves that ignite in his gut, "Stop talking."

It is you.

You look... good. 

Happy. 

You're crouched by a small, timid girl in the back of the crowd. Your hand is in hers, and you're pointing upwards at the large paneled screens replaying Endeavor's most historic fights. You're explaining something to her, your knees bent as you squat. You look... the same. As if in the six years since they graduated, you sat still in time. 

For a second, it's like he's seventeen again.

It's his senior year, and he's stuck at the corner of the gym's edge with a half-empty glass of punch in his hand. The lights are low, and there's slow music playing. His tie feels too tight. Bakugo keeps telling him to 'ask her to dance already', and Kirishima is considering bashing his head through the wall. Even Midorya is trying to persuade Shoto. 

"It's prom, man! C'mon, this could be your last chance—"

Touya is about to be a real pain in the ass — his favorite pastime — and make some comment about your ass, but when he turns to lob the one-liner at his baby brother, Shoto's gone.

Shoto is on the move.

The crescendo of gasps draws your attention first.

Then, the cry of "WOAH, IT'S SHOTO!" leaves you dumbfounded. The rippling murmur of excitement bleeds into the children as their eyes — and the eyes of the tour guide — widen at the sight of the approaching Pro Hero. 

Shoto Todoroki.

He looks... good. 

Really good.

He's a bit older, and a bit more filled out than when you were both teenagers. You can see the strength in his arms and shoulders — it's a distant echo of his father's physique, though Shoto is so much more elegant and much... prettier. He's always been.

For a second, you're seventeen again.

It's your senior year, and you're sprawled across Momo Yaoyorozu's bed.

They had finally wrangled out of you who your crush was: something they hadn't been able to do in all their years as classmates.

There's a sticky, Miss Midnight-themed face mask clinging to your expression as you try to flip through the large magazine in your hands as nonchalantly as possible. Mina's voice, as she paints Ochaco's nails a bright pink on the floor, is sweet and saccharine as she looks up at you.

"I think you and Shoto would be, like, the cutest couple ever." 

You're still crouched when the tour guide nervously — like she was caught doing something naughty — introduces The Pro Hero Shoto to the already-aware crowd of elementary school students and their teachers. It's like igniting a match; the uproar of excitement leaves you laughing as three of your boys push forward to bombard him with questions about his quirk. 

Asuke is smiling shyly, now. That's a small win. She's intrigued by the appearance of a real hero, not the "scary statues" — and her big, fat tears stopped rolling the moment you laid a gentle hand on her to quell her anxiety over the new environment with a push of comfort through your quirk. She unhooks her pinkie finger from yours as you guide her towards your co-teacher. 

"Boys," you call with a crisp air of authority as you stand and lead Asuke toward the bulk of the field trip group, "What have we learned about personal space?"

"It's fine, really, Insight," comes Shoto's voice; as warm and placid as you remember. 

"Insight?" mutters your co-teacher at the presumed hero-name; a look of confusion plasters itself on her face, and her big, feline ears perk up. She leans in to whisper in a way that borders on conspiratory, "Do you two know one another?"

"Old classmates," you confirm, not daring to get into the finer details.

Shoto's attention is entirely rooted in the way you manage the kids. There's something beautiful about the ease with which you handle the bouquet of students; you quell the excitement into a manageable decibel like it's as easy as breathing. 

"Shoto," you start as you gesture to him, "Has a very special quirk — Toyamai, he has ice like you. And, fire like Tojiro. He can regulate his temperature. Can anyone tell me what that means?"

There's a wave of hands shooting up, a few me, me, me's rise from the gaggle. 

You're using him as a teaching moment.

Shoto's smile is soft.

You nod at Ogomi, excitedly nodding as the reserved child speaks up. Normally, he hates public speaking. But, recently, he's started working with the speech pathologist during lunch. The boy bounces a little as he answers. "He doesn't g-get too hot, or too c-cold."

"Exactly! Isn't that cool?" you grin at the lazy attempt at a pun, "This is why it's important to learn about our quirks as much as we can!"

Touya thinks this whole thing is just too cute. 

You're different than he remembers — but, granted, things were sorta different last time he saw you. He was a little too busy tryna kill his old man and lil' Shoto. He's different now, too. A changed man! A real licensed hero. Support items and all. 

He hangs back. 

He... I mean, he is a jack-ass but he isn't gonna ruin this for Shoto. 

...It's kinda cute.

Just about as cute as Fuyumi said it was. 

Apparently, Shoto had opened up to her and Natsuo about his feelings after graduation — about how he regretted not doing anything about it. Fuyumi then told their mum, who then off-handedly mentioned it to Touya... and well Touya dug in because, duh, he is a whore for good gossip. He might be the family's black sheep, but Shoto is the glue that binds. 

And he deserves to be happy.

Your co-teacher is ushering the kids to the next installation — a viewing of All Might's Legacy, a new documentary following the retired pro's teaching career. It will be a good wind down for them, in comfy seats and the dark. It's hardly the sort of content an elementary school student would find riveting, but it is All Might. And they love him.

You hang back. 

Shoto's heart is hammering in his chest.

"Hey."

"Hi," you greet back, closing the door to the theater and stepping forward as you weave your arms around you, "Long time no see."

"Yea," Shoto breathes, his hands in his pockets as he meets you halfway across the museum's marble floors, "I... I see you're teaching."

His eyes are as pretty as they were back then. Slate grey and piercing turquoise. "I'm in my second year," you confirm softly, fiddling with the material of your sweater, "Congrats to your old man."

You gesture up at the statue, then wave around to the rest of the installation.

Shoto inhales, then nods; he's staring at your face, blissfully realizing you're just the way you were all those years ago. Kind. "I'll pass it along."

"How's he handling it?" you ask, your eyes raking across his expression and trying not to stick to the sharp slope of his jaw, or the bob of his Adam's apple, "Retirement, I mean."

"He's happy, I think. Touya and I are working together and... things are...  good."

Last month, Endeavor finally retired. He cited his age, and his dedication to passing his legacy to his two sons: Shoto and Touya. Shoto has planted himself firmly within the Top Ten in the last year or so, and shockingly, Touya isn't far behind. People love an underdog's redemption story, you suppose. 

And the underdog in question can read a room. 

This is getting a little too sexually tense for even him.

"Heeeeey, girl," he rasps out, staggering backward with a thumb over his shoulder, "Nice t' see ya. I'll let you two catch up, yea? I'm gonna go pop my head into the theater, see how the kids are handling the snooze fest on screen—"

You jump.

How long has he even been there?

"Hi, D— Touya," you strain, wincing a little; the rehab'd villain doesn't seem to mind.

"Hi, teach'. That cool with you?" he asks, wobbling his thumb and quirking a pierced eyebrow; it's comical, like he's trying to disarm you with humor, "Don't want you thinkin' I'm corrupting your youths—"

"It's fine," you breathe, ignoring the sting of age-old mistrust. You know better. Shoto wouldn't be here, with him, if Touya Todoroki hadn't changed. Endeavor wouldn't be entrusting his legacy to the ex-League of Villain member if he didn't believe in his capacity for good, "Just don't be disruptive."

Casting judgment on someone whose life was nearly destroyed by his own non-conforming quirk would go against everything you taught the kids anyway.

"Touya's whole thing is being disruptive," Shoto grits as his oldest brother slips silently through the doors, "I apologize for him—"

"No," you wave him off, laughing a little, "Don't. It's... nice to see you two together."

Shoto's expression is soft as he wanders a little closer. "It took time — and a lot of therapy — but we've all managed to come out the other side."

"That's great to hear, Shoto," you breathe, your eyes flitting across his face, "I'm really happy for you."

There's a long silence, then — and you can't help but ignore the roil of butterflies in your stomach. The eye contact is heavy with some unspoken thing, and both of your tongues are weighted by secrets-never-turned-confessions. 

It's like finally this dance you've been doing around one another for years breaks — and the two of you throw caution to the wind at the exact same moment. 

"Would you like to—"

"Are you free—"

Hesitant, slow grins bloom on both your faces.

"Dinner?" is all he manages after a sweet moment of soaking up your soft smile, "If you're available...?"

You make yourself available.

Yaoyorozu almost dies when you call her that night — winded from tearing through your entire wardrobe. You explained you had nothing to wear a-and you needed something nice, and you only have an hour to get ready, because Todoroki — yes, stop screaming, Todoroki — is picking you up at 8pm.

Little bro is nervous. Touya can tell. 

From his spot on the sofa, the white-haired ex-degenerate scoffs. Natsuo is digging around for some cufflinks in Shoto's dresser.

"Seriously, Sho'? A suit?" 

"It's a nice restaurant," his brother says tightly, adjusting the collar of the black button-down, "I booked the upstairs dining room for privacy." 

"Who the hell told you t' do that?" Touya quirks a skeptical brow.

"Father was the one who suggested it."

"...That old dog." 

Natsuo rolls his eyes at the exchange before throwing his hands as he emerges from the closet. "Do you have any links that aren't emblazoned with U.A. High School's crest?"

The ones in Natsuo's hands have his graduation year on them.

Shoto winces.

"Want me to ask dear ol' dog of a dad?" Touya snarks from the corner, his posture becoming less and less upright as he scrolls on his phone.

"Already did," comes the soft voice of Fuyumi; she's smiling, padding into Shoto's room with a velvet box, "He offered up his nicest pair. He also says not to screw it up with Insight. He likes her."

Of course, he likes her. You worked under Endeavor for a brief work-study period during your third year. Shoto remembers hearing grumbled praise over dinner one night about your talent for de-escalation.

"You told him who I was seeing?" Shoto asks incredulously, taking the box and working the cufflinks on. He's starting to feel exasperated.

Fuyumi nods, popping down beside Touya. 

"He asked. I'm not gonna lie to him."

"Did y' tell ma?" Touya rasps, peeking up over his phone to inspect Shoto's outfit. Not half bad, honestly. He looks good in all black. A man after his own heart, "M'sure she's gonna be real excited—"

"Yes," Shoto grumbles, "I called her earlier—"

"Chiba Prep is a really good school, y'know," Natsuo buts in as he tries to find a tie that matches Shoto's outfit. Ultimately, though, the middle brother decides against it and tosses the options over his shoulder, "They're, like, on the leading edge for quirk therapies."

"Hey, nerd? Quiet down. The big kids are gossiping," Touya shirks, turning back to Shoto, "What did mum say?" 

"She wants me to call her after—"

"One, you're gonna call mum the morning after," Touya raises a finger, "Because if you don't get laid, I'll be so fuckin' disap—"

Fuyumi slaps Touya's chest. He lets out a pained yelp at the solid smack.

"Uh, ow," he rubs his sternum. "An' two, take a deep breath. You look like you're gonna shit yourself. Those are my pants and they're expensive."

Shoto lets out a long breath. 

Fuyumi's smile is sweet like honey. "Aw, Sho'! It's gonna go great. You two have known each other for such a long time, and catching up is going to be amazing. Just be yourself! Confident and kind—"

"—Hold the door open for her, and pull her chair out," Natsuo adds as he adjusts Shoto's collar for him, "Car door, too—"

It's Touya's turn. He's dead serious. "—And do not chicken out on kissing her at the end of the night. I swear to god."

Easier said than done.

You never did go pro.

Those years of hardened battle instincts have lost their edge. You try to remind yourself this is just Shoto, not The Shoto — but you're a little lost in the whole celebrity of it all when he picks you up in a very nice, sporty little car with ENDVRplates. 

You answer the door and he forgets how to breathe.

He has flowers for you. They're blue and blooming and beautiful. 

Fuyumi's contribution. 

You settled then you were going to kiss him at the end of the night.

The restaurant is... nice. Really nice. The sort of nice you could never aspire to experience on your teacher's salary. Even the valet is a concept that has your head spinning. But, Shoto handles it all with cool ease. The entire time, his hand is settled on your lower back. 

It feels like you've been lit on fire.

You're glad Momo was able to create a dress fitting for the occasion. It's sleek and black. Comfortable, too. Not much can be said for your heels on that front, but it's fine. 

Somehow, Shoto managed to book the entire upper floor of this place in all its glimmering glory — it's just the two of you alone in a sea of tables. 

The waiter is pouring you a glass of the chef's suggested pairing of sake.

You thank him, smile, and take a sip as Shoto unbuttons his suit jacket and watches you. 

For a second, you're seventeen again.

Sero and Kirishima were always in cahoots when it came to parties back then — somehow, between the two of them, they always managed to smuggle enough booze onto campus to obliterate any semblance of promised sobriety from even the most stoic members of 1-A. 

You remember one night, after a lot of hounding, you finally gave in and joined a few of your classmates on the back lawn for a few drinks. 

A few beers turned into a cup or two of wine, and then another big gulp of whatever deranged jungle juice concoction Kaminiari managed to cook up. It tasted terrible, but you were too drunk to really care. Shoto was no better. He was nursing his fourth drink of the night — a rarity he was even drinking at all — and seemed completely fine with the way your arms brushed as the two of you sat close in the grass. 

He was always so nervous around you. Now, he just seemed... happy. 

"I can't believe there is only one week left until graduation."

Graduation day was the last time you saw him. 

Until this morning, that is. 

You smile into your drink. 

"What?" you ask when his eyes never leave your face.

His fingers twitch towards his own glass. Shoto blinks, then rolls his jaw. He was caught staring. He clears his throat, looking a bit shy. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" you press playfully, cocking your head to the side.

"You..." he starts, then bawks. You're stunning, and it's making it hard to even think straight. He thought these feelings might have mellowed out over the years but seeing you again has just reignited everything. He feels like a hormonal teenager again, "You look beautiful."

Your expression falters into something lovesick. You chew your lip. "You're not so bad yourself, Todoroki."

He manages a half-smile. "Touya had me worried the suit was a bit much."

The idea of Touya offering him advice on his outfit strikes a chord in your heart. It makes you smile even bigger than before. "Well, you can tell Touya that I like it. A lot."

You rake your eyes up and down him. On purpose.

He notices.

Shoto's face feels hot. 

He tries to shake the bone-deep want that has swept his entire body up in its grip, but it's difficult when every single word out of your mouth reminds him just how in love he was with you back in school. You explain, excitedly, why you chose to teach at Chiba Prefectural Prep and catch him up on where you've been living since graduating. He's pleased to learn you're still in the area, living in the city, and decidedly in love with the commute to the school. 

Shoto's always been a good listener — but you can see how much he's changed when he begins to speak about his career. He seems so much more sure of himself than he was all those years ago. It wasn't that he was... unsure... but, no. He was shy. Quiet.

Now, less so. 

It's adorable. 

Dinner comes and goes with conversation over sushi that is far too good for you to even process. It's easy talking to him. It was easy talking to Shoto back, then, too but... Things are different. You're both different. Not in a bad way, but in a way that feels like coming home. 

While you both wait outside for the valet, Shoto shrugs his jacket off and puts it over your shoulders without a single word. Suddenly, you're cradled in a warmth that's very Shoto — his cologne clings to the collar and you bury yourself a little deeper into it. 

Shyly, you step closer and steal his hand. It's calloused and warm. He laced his fingers with yours as if practiced. You bite back a grin. You give his hand a little squeeze when you spot the car coming around the corner.

His silence is calming — and he squeezes your hand back. When you look up at him, you realize he's already looking at you. 

His face is close. It's so... intimate. Very. Nearly better than a kiss. 

But, you've wanted to kiss Shoto Todoroki since you were seventeen. 

The valet driver interrupts the moment with a respectful call of Shoto's name and offers the keys with a shake of the hand. With a little bit of hesitancy, Shoto remembers the thing Natsuo said — the car door, too — and moves around the passenger side to open the door for you. 

It's sweet.

Really sweet. 

The car ride back to your apartment is punctuated with easy conversation — you ask him about Bakugo and Midorya, and you're pleased to hear they're both doing well. He asks about Momo, and if you still keep in touch with Mina and Ochaco. He smiles to himself when you admit you did call Momo for help with an outfit. 

"She did a beautiful job," Shoto breathes, a palm moving from the gear shift to brush over the dress' fabric on your thigh.

His hand settles there. 

Your stomach does a flip. 

You chew your lip, swallow down a sudden burst of nerves, and let your hand rest over his. You squeeze it. Shoto tries to focus on the road. His gaze drifts for a moment at a red light, his heterochromatic eyes dancing across your figure. 

Keep it together. 

He isn't seventeen.

He's twenty-five. He's a Professional Hero. One of the Top Ten in all of Japan. He's more than capable of keeping it together in the face of physical touch from the woman he's dreamed about for years. 

...Right?

Green light.

His hand is still on your thigh when he pulls up to your apartment. 

The touch is relinquished in favor of putting the sports car in park. 

It makes your chest ache.

Shoto swallows thickly.

Do not chicken out on kissing her at the end of the night.

He'll never forgive himself. But, admittedly, he's bad at this. He's not good at reading body language, or even knowing himself enough to realize he looks mildly terrified as you blink up at him in the passenger's seat. His heart is hammering a mile a minute.

What if you don't want to kiss him?

When would he even kiss you? Now? Or at the door?

Why does he feel like he's going to die?

"This was really... Shoto, are you okay?" you ask as you unbuckle your seatbelt; you pause, your brows knitting tightly. 

"What?" he asks, blinking back to the present moment. The look of fear disappears, "Sorry. Yes. I'm fine."

You're working his jacket off your shoulders, gently leaning to fold it neatly in your lap. Your voice dips low, into something playful. "You didn't look fine..."

"I—" Shoto clamps his mouth shut as he leans an elbow on the center console, "Sorry. I suppose I'm just nervous."

"Nervous?" you grin, a little giggle punctuating your words as you wriggle in the red, leather seat, "Why?"

Your expression makes his expression crack. He ducks his head as he huffs out a laugh. You continue to egg him on via expression alone. "I... Stop it."

"Stop what?" you push some more, your back pressed to the door as you face him in the car, "You're the one being weird—"

"I'm not being weird—"

"Then what's wrong, Shoto?" you tease in a sing-song voice.

"I'm nervous because I want to kiss you."

His words are punctuated by a slow look that takes in every inch of your face. Butterfly wings kiss your stomach walls. And your knees. You feel a little tremble in your chest. 

It feels like someone has sucker punched you square in the sternum. Shoto's no better. He isn't entirely sure what the expression on your face means. Is that... good? Are you happy?

Your voice is a little quieter now. You duck your head and fiddle with his suit jacket as you lean back against the seat, a little closer now. 

"You don't need to be."

Shoto's breath catches at that.

So, he makes his move.

His hand comes first — his calloused palm settles nicely against your face, his thumb brushing your cheekbone as his pointer finger brushes the underside of your jaw. Shoto is slow. Methodical. It's like he's trying to ground himself in the moment. 

Truth be told, he thinks he might be blacking out.

Your eyes flit up his wrist — a dark leather band around his wrist with an expensive watch face, a dark dress shirt with glimmering cufflinks, strong arms and a broad chest, and you can see the dip of his collarbone where the top two buttons of his shirt remain undone. 

He looks so damn handsome with his sharp jaw, pretty eyes, and his trademark white and crimson hair. Even his scar is beautiful. 

The touch pulls you in like he's got his own personal orbit.  

Your elbows are braced along the center console, your eyes flicking across his face as his fingers continue to brush along the soft expanse of your cheek. You wring your fingers together. 

Then, his eyes stick to your lips.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispers, his breath fanning across your face. 

You never did go pro.

But, Shoto did. 

It shows. 

Because, at this moment, all you can do is nod feebly before you're swept into the sort of kiss people go to war for. It's the sort of kiss that sticks to your ribs, that feels like warm, fresh food. It's the sort of kiss that would drive you to the brink, that would make you nod and agree sure, let's get married and have three kids, let's name one after your father, and paint the house blue like your mother's favorite flower—

His mouth is eager, but not in an overbearing way. It's gentle. Slow. As if he needs to remind himself this is real and not some midnight fiction that leaves him aching and alone. Shoto reminds himself to be tepid, pliable, and easy, which is easier said than done when somewhere deep inside of him there's a seventeen-year-old screaming in victory. 

It's better than anything he could have ever imagined. 

And then you whimper. 

It's a sound tied between bliss and relief and it's muttered against his mouth as you lean in and let your fingers brush the fabric of his dress shirt. The tips of your fingers brush his abdomen and he flexes, the feeling foreign and warm. It warrants his other hand to drift to your face and you break for a breath; he doesn't care that there's lipstick smeared across his mouth. He's kissing you again — this time a little bit more feverish, a little bit more aching. 

You melt against him, this time your hands trembling to grip his wrists.

He needs to slow down.

He is not having sex with you in his father's car.

That's shameless.

He needs to slow down.

He has to, or he'll lose himself in this and he refuses to fuck this up. 

Shoto's breath is ragged when he finally peels himself away, his lip parted and eyes half-lidded. His grip on your face is still so soft, so gentle. It's very him. 

You're glad you didn't do this when you were seventeen.

It would have permanently altered your brain chemistry, you're sure of it. How could you ever kiss someone else again after that? 

He's rubbing your cheek with his thumb. You swallow, and try to level out your breathing. It's hard when he's still so close, when he's so... perfect. 

"I've wanted to do that," he murmurs against your cheek, "Since our last year at Yuei."

A well-kissed smile breaks across your face. You reel back, your nose wrinkling as you shake your head in disbelief. Shoto is smiling. A real smile. The sort that's so rare you can count on one hand the amount of times you've ever seen it in person. 

"Are you serious?"

"Very," he says, chastely pressing another to your other cheek as he leans back.

"Me too," you admit shyly, "Can we... do it again sometime?"

Shoto's eyes widen incrementally. Then, his smile eases back onto his face. 

"Are you free this weekend?"

"I can be," you reply easily with a honeyed look, "And I will be. For you."

"I get off patrol on Saturday around seven," he explains before asking timidly, "We could... do dinner again?"

"Works for me," you breathe as you move for the handle of the car door, "After all, I never went Pro. Weekends are free."

Shoto scoffs. 

Then, as you open the door and swing a leg out:

"Oh, and tell Touya I thought the suit sexy."

Shoto's laugh is dry. You leave his jacket on the seat and scurry into your apartment with a lovesick wave. He swears he sees the silhouette of a familiar ponytail greet you at the door, but he doesn't dwell on it. He waits until you're inside and the lights to the front door are shut off.

Then it hits him. He has another date with you this weekend. 

Not so seventeen anymore, Shoto Todoroki. 

[triviallytrue]

Link

This is a well-known Palestinian user and vetter explaining that they are completely confident that the pornbotlike ask sent by an account with a verified fundraiser was a result of "embarrassing behavior/a mistake in online interactions."

This would be more plausible if it was a one time occurrence, but this blog sent the exact same ask to (at minimum) three separate accounts:

Link

Link

Link

These asks are all identical, to the letter - that's how I found them. This is, needless to say, very strange for any person to do on tumblr, least of all someone who is raising money to try and protect their family from a genocide. glitzyboo, for example, does not post images of themselves or reblog anything remotely close to NSFW, so it's very very odd behavior for someone to tell them they are "pretty enough" for anything. It is even more suspicious when you consider the very long history of porn bots sending sugar daddy scam asks on this site.

I don't know what is going wrong here - who is mistaken about what, what part of the process is breaking down, but the story told in the above post, that this was an embarrassing social faux pas that happened one time and was sent by a real person who was horny, does not hold up to scrutiny.

[spevvy]

One specific bloodline???

You ummm. Don't know a lot about the British monarchy do you?

Okay, here's my idea:

The British should put a time limit on the Monarchy.

Not like declaring a republic tomorrow, but deciding on a date in the future that ends the British Monarchy.

And there's a perfect date for it coming up!

October 14th, 2066.

A thousand years since the Battle of Hastings. A thousand years of this one specific bloodline ruling England.

Call time on the Monarchy after exactly one thousand years. Nice, and neat.

Even better: Charles isn't living 44 years. He'll be gone in about twenty. Now William? He's what, 40? Yeah, he can live another 44 years. His great grandmother was over a hundred, his granny was 96, William can make it to 84 barring accident or assassination.

So on October 14th 2066, William the Last steps down a thousand years after William the First won the crown.

Nice, neat, and fair. William gets the crown he's been waiting forty years for already, but ten-year-old George grows up without expectation of it.

Have a nice big abdication ceremony, even.

[inky-duchess]

Fantasy Guide to Building A Culture

Culture is defined by a collection of morals, ethics, traditions, customs and behaviours shared by a group of people.

Hierarchy and Social Structures

Within every culture, there is a hierarchy. Hierarchies are an important part of any culture, usually do ingrained that one within the culture wouldn't even question it. Hierarchy can be established either by age, gender or wealth and could even determine roles within their society. Sometimes hierarchy can may be oppressive and rigid whilst other times, ranks can intermingle without trouble. You should consider how these different ranks interact with one another and whether there are any special gestures or acts of deference one must pay to those higher than them. For example, the Khasi people of Meghalaya (Northern India), are strictly matrillineal. Women run the households, inheritance runs through the female line, and the men of the culture typically defer to their mothers and wives. Here are a few questions to consider:

How is a leader determined within the culture as a whole and the family unit?

Is the culture matriarchal? Patriarchal? Or does gender even matter?

How would one recognise the different ranks?

How would one act around somebody higher ranking? How would somebody he expected to act around somebody lower ranking?

Can one move socially? If not, why? If so, how?

Traditions and Customs

Traditions are a staple in any culture. These can be gestures or living life a certain way or to the way a certain person should look. Traditions are a personal detail to culture, they are what make it important. Tradition can dictate how one should keep their home, run their family, take care of their appearance, act in public and even determine relationship. Tradition can also be a double edged sword. Traditions can also be restrictive and allow a culture to push away a former member if they do not adhere to them, eg Traditional expectations of chastity led to thousands of Irish women being imprisoned at the Magdelene Laundries. Customs could be anything from how one treats another, to how they greet someone.

How important is tradition?

What are some rituals your culture undertakes?

What are some traditional values in your world? Does it effect daily life?

Are there any traditions that determine one's status?

Values and Opinions

Values and Opinions are the bread and butter of any culture. This is the way your culture sees the world and how they approach different life hurdles. These may differ with other cultures and be considered odd to outsiders, what one culture may value another may not and what opinion another holds, one may not. There will be historical and traditional reasons to why these values and opinions are held. Cultures usually have a paragon to which they hold their members to, a list of characteristics that they expect one to if not adhere to then aspire to. The Yoruba people value honesty, hard work, courage and integrity. Here are some questions to consider?

How important are these ethics and core values? Could somebody be ostracised for not living up to them?

What are some morals that clash with other cultures?

What does your culture precieved to be right? Or wrong?

What are some opinions that are considered to be taboo in your culture? Why?

Dress Code

For many cultures, the way somebody dresses can be important. History and ethics can effect how one is meant to be dressed such as an expectation of chastity, can impose strict modesty. While other cultures, put more importance on details, the different sorts of clothes worn and when or what colour one might wear. The Palestinian people (من النهر إلى البحر ، قد يكونون أحرارا) denoted different family ties, marriage status and wealth by the embroidery and detailing on their thoub.

Are there traditional clothes for your world? Are they something somebody wears on a daily basis or just on occasion?

Are there any rules around what people can wear?

What would be considered formal dress? Casual dress?

What would happen if somebody wore the wrong clothes to an event?

Language

Language can also be ingrained as part of a Culture. It can be a specific way one speaks or a an entirely different language. For example, in the Southern States of America, one can engage in a sort of double talk, saying something that sounds sweet whilst delivering something pointed. Bless their heart. I have a post on creating your own language here.

Arts, Music and Craft

Many cultures are known for different styles of dance, their artwork and crafts. Art is a great part of culture, a way for people to express themselves and their culture in art form. Dance can be an integral part of culture, such as céilí dance in Ireland or the Polka in the Czech Republic. Handicrafts could also be important in culture, such as knitting in Scottish culture and Hebron glass in Palestine. Music is also close to culture, from traditional kinds of singing such as the White Voice in Ukraine and the playing of certain instruments such as the mvet.

Food and Diet

The way a culture prepares or intakes or treats certain foods are important to a culture. In some cultures, there is a diet yo adhere to, certain foods are completely banned. With Jewish culture, pork is prohibited along with fish such as sturgeon, along with shellfish and certain fowl. Meat must also be prepared in a certain way and animal byproducts such as dairy, must never be created or even eaten around this meat. This is known as kosher. The way one consumes food is also important to culture. In some cultures, only certain people may eat together. Some cultures place important on how food is eaten. In Nigerian culture, the oldest guests are served first usually the men before the women. In Japanese culture, one must say 'itadakimasu' (I recieve) before eating. Culture may also include fasting, periods of time one doesn't intake food for a specific reason.

What are some traditional dishes in your world?

What would be a basic diet for the common man?

What's considered a delicacy?

Is there a societal difference in diet? What are the factors that effect diet between classes?

Is there any influence from other cuisines? If not, why not? If so, to what extent?

What would a typical breakfast contain?

What meals are served during the day?

What's considered a comfort food or drink?

Are there any restrictions on who can eat what or when?

Are there any banned foods?

What stance does your world take on alcohol? Is it legal? Can anybody consume it?

Are there any dining customs? Are traditions?

Is there a difference in formal meals or casual meals? If so, what's involved?

Are there any gestures or actions unacceptable at the dinner table?

How are guests treated at meals? If they are given deference, how so?

[harmoonix]

S T A R G I R L

ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ᴀꜱᴛʀᴏʟᴏɢʏ ᴏʙꜱᴇʀᴠᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱ

🧊 Those who are ruled by Jupiter or have Jupiter as a dominant planet have it easier in life since Jupiter grants luck, happiness, prosperity. This depends also if you have good aspects to Jupiter

🧊 if you are favored by Mars (Having Mars in a good sign like Aries, Scorpio, Capricorn) there is a chance to have less fights/arguments/drama in your life, depends on the aspects of your mars

🧊 Saturn ruled natives have dark aura, dark does not equal bad, is just darkness, their beauty relise in the dark, is always secretive and mysterious

🧊 Lilith aspecting the ascendant can be prone to attract toxic people, some people can also think that you can be 'toxic' or 'bad' with these placements

🧊 Mars can feel more lazy when is around an earth sign/house or degree, it moves more slowly than usual

🧊 Pluto/Moon or Neptune in the 9H can be attracted by occult, magic, withcraft, tarot, etc. These placements are also called 'bewitched' in this house

🧊 I find natives with Pluto or Saturn in the 11H to be very secretive around their friends and social circles, like nobody knows them truly

🧊 If Pluto is in the 10H and badly aspected can indicate 'power - hungry' doing anything to obtain what they want which is not good in most cases

🧊 Jupiter aspecting your ascendant can bless your appearance and looks, something about you is beautifully written in the stars

🧊 I know people who have lots of Virgo Placements that would like to work in fields where they can help others, like a therapist, a doctor, etc

🧊 If you have no aspects or empty North Node, it can indicate that your life is not that much impacted by things, like going flawlessly with your life

🧊 If you have Lilith aspecting the Sun, you can end up being blamed for things you never did, Lilith usually takes the bad part of the sun which represents the ego and turns it against others

🧊 I know by a fact that air and water placements can get influenced by the weather, it can influence their mood the most

🧊 Neptune/Chrion/Sun in the 12H/1H can make the native to be moody in a sense of getting into a depressed state easily than others

🧊 People with their Moons in Sagittarius or Pisces may like to sugarcoat others, in a way to be more 'indulgent' to others and to keep their hopes high both being ruled by Jupiter

🧊 I don't usually talk about synastry but looking at the Venus in a couple synastry chart can show how your partner gives/offers love to you

🧊 Venus in Sagittarius, Gemini, Aquarius can have the best luck in finding partners who will give them freedom in a relationship, since your Venus can show 'lovely' things your spouse can do for you

🧊 Saturn conjucting Lilith is one of the most painful placements to have in a chart. Everything that Saturn touches it becomes strict. It can strict yourself from your sexual energy

🧊 Lilith in your 4H can talk about breaking bad things from your family, like habits, addictions, trauma

🧊 I deeply wanna talk about Scorpio and Cancer Lilith because both of these have issues with their emotions, feeling safe/secure comforted, lacking love from parents or partners, both signs struggle in these areas and these are not easy signs to have Lilith in, especially if you have a traumatic history

🧊 Uranus and Moon in the 6H are planets which pay a lot of attention to their mental health, they always prioritize it

🧊 Libra Moon/Venus/Eros/Juno will feel dissatisfied in life if they don't have a sensual/romantic connection with their partners

🧊 a Scorpio moon/8h moon will value intimacy a lot in their relationships, beside being important, is also a healthy way to express themselves

🧊 Saturn in Virgo or in the 6h, or at 6° 18° may struggle with organization, finding an order in their lives, can be chaotic and the person may find peace in a chaotic environment with this placement

🧊 Saturn in the 12H/Pisces/ at 12° 24° makes a native to be confused, about their life, their career, job, family, relationship. Is like you live in a fog and you can't see the things you have around so these things can confuse you

🧊 Mars is a cruel planet, is not a sweet candy and will not stay to sugarcoat nobody in life, Mars will put action in your life

🧊 Sun harshly aspecting the Neptune can indicate 'hiding' yourself from the world, you can be anxious around others, not wanna be seen

🧊 Your 4H can talk about your home and the way you take care of it, having harsh aspects to your 4H ruler can indicate having a hard time to take care of your house

🧊 Scorpio Venus can be invested in their partners sexual life, your partner may not give the same energy back to you while you may crave it

🧊 Earth Signs in the 12H may deal with their subconscious more harshly, they can constantly judging themselves and being critical which is a pain for your subconscious. Give yourself a break from all the negative things

🧊 Jupiter and Venus aspects match so good if you're looking for a partner or a relationship, you can be blessed with a good marriage as well

🧊 I heard that a good time to look for a relationship is when you have your Jupiter Return or that most people find their love during one

🧊 Saturn in the 8H/Scoprio or at 8° 20° can struggle with their sexuality, in a way that they may feel shameful to be sexual or to be more opened about these topics

🧊 Capricorn Risings usually have better years with the time, you can actually observe that the next year can be better than the last one

🧊 Chiron in the 7H have the power to heal their partners and their relationships/marriage

🧊 Every time Mars has a transit in your 10H you may feel like people have something against you or that you may feel everyone around you is angry on something

🧊 The sad thing that comes with a Venus in the 6h/10h in a relationship may be that either you or your spouse may overwork and you will not have that much time to spend with each other, someone will always be more focused on work

🧊 'All night you gave me mad love' is an Aries Mars/Venus/Eros/Juno melody line, it fits with the Aries behavior

🧊 Pluto conjunct Lilith can make the native sexually powerful, your sexual energy is everything!

🧊 Aquarius Risings have an inner magic that not all the people can see, you need to be close to them in order to see their energy

🧊Aries/Scorpio/Mars/Pluto/Capricorn/Saturn in the 3H wont hold back from calling peolpe out, talking dirty, cussing, malefics are more in anger in the house of communication

🧊Earth Suns are so classic, so sophisticated, their fashion style is extremely beautiful, you should wear more gold to be in more earthy energy

🧊 I do not trust any uranus dominat/aquarius placements natives who are racist, sexist, homophobic, you know all these against the human right. (Usually i dont stand any people who are like this)... Like Uranus and Aquarius stand for being humanitarian and you are against it? JAIL and GOODBYE

🧊If you are Saturn dominant make sure to wear more black or dark colors because thats how saturn feels more appreciated by you, can bring you more benefits

Have a blessed day for everyone reading my astrology observations 💙💙💙

Harm💙💙nix

[barbarastreisandof]

Blocking out her name and picture to protect her from harassment, but this is a Palestinian journalist reporting out of Gaza who I've personally had contact with through Twitter.

Money and aid is not getting through. Crowdfunding is not helpful. Ordering things is not helpful. Buying keffiyehs that say the money goes to Gaza is not helpful.

Gaza is a concentration camp - nothing is getting in or out that Israel does not approve of and right now Israel wants people dead or dying.

Most of social media, and tumblr is no exception, skews toward "taking action" being things that put you at zero risk and only ask for money or bits of time, or sometimes just doing nothing and calling it a boycott. "Call your rep!" "Buy this thing!" "Share this link!"

The reality is that you get out what you put in and if it was easy and low risk and comfortable for you to do it, then that is the level of impact it is having - low, comfortable to ignore, and flimsy.

Palestine, Gaza and increasingly the West Bank, NEEDS real help and the reality is we do not have the power as individuals to give it.

We DO have the power to band together and influence things collectively and the best way to do that is to loudly unequivocally express our anger and clarity of purpose.

So that does mean calling reps and being polite and firm and brief and giving your real address because otherwise they can't confirm you're a constituent and they'll ignore you. "Hello, my name is ______ and I am calling as a constituent to demand representative/senator _______ support aid to Gaza and to call for an end to support for all support to Israel."

It is important that your support for Gaza include opposition to Israel - there is no supporting Gaza while supporting Israel, it genuinely is one or the other.

Tear down pro-Israel posters. Tear down those fake kidnapped propaganda posters. Show up to rallies and marches where you can and if you can't, find out who's organizing them and get in touch to offer your support and help. Talk to family and friends. LEARN! Read up on these things and teach yourself history so you can better advocate and push back on propaganda.

Be willing to have people not like you. Losing friends over this is, and I don't mean to be cold here, nothing. It doesn't matter. Fuck em. If advocating against genocide costs you friendships and gets people calling you antisemitic, fuck em, good riddance. Privately process the loss of those relationships if they really matter to you, but publicly don't give it air because this is not a time to be focused on the feelings of people who cannot bring themselves to oppose ethnic cleansing.

The culture is shifting, support for Palestine is growing and it NEEDS to continue and we have the power to make sure it does.

[blackknight-100]

Again, I think we fundamentally misunderstand each other. This is not about what Valmiki or Tulsidas wrote, or which is the most original version and which is an interpolation. These are certainly important discussions to be had in a context of true sources vs those modified to suit history, but when talking about the subject of OP's post, one cannot divorce literature from its socio-cultural impact and/or source on the basis of when it was written and whether it is the true text.

You may have noticed I kept mentioning versions in my previous reblog, and because of this very reason: yes, the older versions did not have many things the newer ones do. But that again is something you see in most literature from that period, because these were largely passed down by word of mouth, at least among the common people who did not usually have extensive access to education or books. Today you and I can read up anything on the internet, but books were hardly so widespread previously.

The point is, someone, at some period in history, felt comfortable with characterizing a cultural hero in such a manner, and enough people were willing to accept and propagate the story of the torment of an innocent woman at the hands of a righteous king. The point is that enough people accepted and propagated the idea of an abducted woman undergoing "purification", whether she was assaulted or not, in order to rejoin her husband's household. Which is not so strange when the text was written - we expect older generations to be less open-minded (ironically that isn't always true) - but is definitely strange as a phenomenon today. Enough people today think that the purification was justified, and enough people repeat the 'shadow Sita' story as a misguided attempt at preserving Sita's chastity. A frankly bewildering number of people appear to consider the fact that Sita was too pure for Ravana to touch as her crowning glory. You can do that, of course, but there is a very fine line between that and insinuating that Sita would have deserved everything that came her way if Ravana lay with her, and these people use it as a jumping rope. Enough people believe she would have burned herself to protect herself from Ravana, which is amazingly powerful characterization, but a lot of these people also believe she should burn herself if Ravana tried to touch her. This is similar to how a lot of people treat historical self-immolation by queens: she was powerful and brave to do it, yes. But that she would have been wrong not to burn herself? A painful number of people believe so. It's like that one line in the AS Ramayana show: if a woman is to be molested, she should jump into the ocean. It is an expectation instead of a choice, and that itself is very telling.

And lastly what you said: yes, exactly, that is the whole point. Someone in the society believed that Narayana and Lakshmi would bow down, however temporarily, to the cruel and unjust rules of society instead of fighting against it for each other and the good of the people, and that too is a big part of the problem.

On your tags: regional stories are religious beliefs. It is not the text only that makes Ramayana a religious scripture, a lot of people can write long stories, but it is people's faith that makes them religious. And the fact is, most local beliefs don't give a whit about the Valmiki Ramayana. My mother, my grandmother, and my father are all very religious people, and the ones to introduce me to these stories. They told me the local versions, and it was not until I was old enough to get internet access that I found out others exist. And as much as I love the Valmiki or Tulsi Ramayana, my father's stories will always remain the "real" Ramayana to me and my people, because this is a part of my culture. My culture worships Lakshmi and Saraswati as Durga's daughters, which is not something all mainstream texts agree with, but again, it is my culture and I continue to value it above the texts because it is a part of my history. So when you are talking to someone about the Ramayana irl, it is most likely that they are speaking of the Ramayana in they grew up with, and you are the one talking about the Valmiki Ramayana.

I hate how patriarchy has even ruined Hindu mythology so specifically to benefit the men.The casual jokes on family WhatsApp groups about how Mahabharat and Ramayan, the worst wars of all time, were fought because of a woman and how women bring ruin everywhere they go,as if they are the root cause of all suffering. Where in fact the women were LITERALLY the victims, one was publicly humiliated, the other kidnapped.The men have misinterpreted the stories so badly that it physically pains me, god went to war not because of women, they went to war FOR them.Because what happened to the women was WRONG,they weren’t to blame, the ones who wronged them were.

I also see a major polarisation in how a huge section of Hindus treat Sita and Draupadi, and it reminds me of the quote “a woman has to do everything right for her to be a victim and a man has to do everything wrong for him to be a culprit.”It breaks my heart at the number of times I’ve heard men say “well Draupadi shouldn’t have disrespected him,aise toh hona hi tha na fir”,first and foremost,that’s an inaccurate narrative promoted by wrong retellings who need to constantly find a reason to blame the victim,she did no such thing and you can find pretty much evidence for it everywhere.But even if she had, it does NOT make it okay for them to publicly disrobe her.This is one more example of the victim blaming culture that I see deep ingrained in the minds of so many of these dumbfuck Hindus who have absolutely no respect for their culture.So next time don’t go to ram mandirs and krishna mandirs if you can’t even truly understand and respect the relevance behind their existence.

[euqinim0dart]

Some positivity in these turbulent AI times

*This does not minimize the crisis at hand, but is aimed at easing any anxieties.

With every social media selling our data to AI companies now, there is very little way to avoid being scraped. The sad thing is many of us still NEED social media to advertise ourselves and get seen by clients. I can't help but feeling that we as artists are not at risk of losing our livelihoods, here is why:

Just because your data is available does not mean that AI companies will/want to use it. Your work may never end up being scraped at all.

The possibility of someone who uses AI art prompts can replace you (if your work is scraped) is very unlikely. Art Directors and clients HAVE to work with people, the person using AI art cannot back up what a machine made. Their final product for a client will never be substantial since AI prompts cannot be consistent with use and edits requested will be impossible.

AI creators will NEVER be able to make a move unless us artists make a move first. They will always be behind in the industry.

AI creators lack the fundamental skills of art and therefore cannot detect when something looks off in a composition. Many professional artists like me get hired repeatedly for a reason! WE as artists know what we're doing.

The art community is close-knit and can fund itself. Look at furry commissions, Patreon, art conventions, Hollywood. Real art will always be able to make money and find an audience because it's how we communicate as a species.

AI creators lack the passion and ambition to make a career out of AI prompts. Not that they couldn't start drawing at any time, but these tend to be the people who don't enjoy creating art to begin with.

There is no story or personal experience that can be shared about AI prompts so paying customers will lose interest quickly.

Art is needed to help advance society along, history says so. To do that, companies will need to hire artists (music, architecture, photography, design, etc). The best way for us artists to keep fighting for our voice to be heard right now is staying visible. Do not hide or give in! That is what they want. Continue posting online and/or in person and sharing your art with the world. It takes a community and we need you!

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

view all comments

user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

view all comments

user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

view all comments

user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

view all comments

user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X