#this is what love feels like

[indubioprocoffee]

“So you’re human now?” Dean asked.

Cas gaze drifted through the bunker as if he was seeing it for the first time. Maybe he really was. It reminded Dean of a newborn; they also had this curios glance in their eyes.

“I suppose so.”

Dean nodded absently, unsure, what to say.

“I didn’t know …” Cas added. “I didn’t know it was this colorful. Everything is so … vibrant.”

“What was it like for you … before?”

Cas shrugged. “It’s difficult to explain. Numbed, I would say now for sure.”

Dean nodded again. “You gonna be alright, Cas?” His voice sounded more concerned than he wanted. Damn it.

The wandering of Cas’ gaze stopped, finally focusing on Dean. “Honestly? I don’t know. It’s all so new. I thought I knew what it meant to be human, but now … I guess I don’t know the first thing about it. There is this longing in my stomach …”

Dean chuckled. “It’s called hunger, Cas. Have you eaten since you became human?”

“No …”

“Well then, let me introduce you to PB & Js.”

They talked for hours. Cas had so many questions. Things, Dean never even thought about, like goose bumps. It offered him a completely new perspective on his existence, it was nice, refreshing.

It was getting really late, morning was getting close and Dean was getting tired. Cas didn’t seem to feel tired at all. All these new experiences, as overwhelming as they probably were didn’t seem to tire him at all, in the contrary exhilarated him. But after a while Cas became quiet and thoughtful. Concern showed on his face.

“Dean … I don’t even know what love feels like.”

“Huh? Where did that come from now?”

“It’s important for humans, right? It’s all the poets talk about. In all these centuries, it was the main topic for you humans. It’s important … It’s important to know,” Cas declared anxiously.

Dean tilted his head, watching Cas silently panicking more and more. The grip on his beer bottle got tighter, a nervous flatter in his chest.

“Cas …” he slowly said. “You know what it feels like …”

“What do you mean?”

Dean sighed. “Cas, you idiot. It feels like this.”

Cas squinted as if not quite following.

“You … Me. You know? This is what it feels like.”

[nomorenightingaless]

HAM JEET GAYE HAM JEET GAYE HAM JEET GAYE HAM JEET GAYE HAM HEET GAYE

[alaraxia]

was able to draw a bit today without pain and my heart is so full :)

[esorabb1t]

tear me open and hold a vibrating wand against my heart <3

[badgal-noriri]

I wrote a good omelette. Nikki Giovanni

[cowboylikedean]

it's amazing. sweetheart woke up and told me he loved me and my anxiety and grief just got smaller.

he really is just...... salvation

[dollvein]

[hollyhumbrstone]

you're in the kitchen humming all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[wasabi-gumdrop]

local ladies man’s signature move totally useless against autistic monster enthusiast. more on Kabru’s fumble era at 6

[traggalicious]

ouaurgh.. i hauve a math quiz rn and i only Just learned how to calculate group mean on my calculator lmfao

[crabussy]

IM GOING TO PUNCH A HOLE IN SOMEONES CAR

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I am incredibly serious right now when I beg you all, please, and if you have Twitter or Tiktok or whatever to please spread the word: click on an author's profile on Ao3.

You want to know if an author has written more? Want to know if they're still writing? Want to see more from them? Want to know if they've written a trope or kink or sex scenario you enjoy?

Click on their name. And look at their profile.

I cannot tell you how many times in the last six months someone has read a new or newer fic of mine and said they (a new reader who has read nothing else I've done) "can't wait to see what you do next!" I've written 50+ fics and over a million words already.

"I don't know if you're still writing..." click on my profile. I am. I literally wrote a 128k+ fic for that ship last month.

"Would you ever do X?" "Please do Y!" I already did. Click on my name and look at my works.

Archive of our Own is a library. It's an archive. Not social media. It is your responsibility to fight back against the laziness that corporate algorithms have trained into you.

Click my author name. Just click it. Just click it.

Before you demand more, or ask if a writer will do XYZ, or wonder if the author still writing, or anything - click on their profile. Click on the author's profile.

I'm not trying to be mean or condescending or anything like that. I'm just exhausted. It's disheartening and frustrating to repeat myself ad nauseam, because someone couldn't take thirty seconds to do the tiniest bit of work to see if I've written lately, if I've written more for their ship, or scan my works to see if I've written what they're asking for. Please. Please. I'm begging.

Click the author's name, and explore before you ask.

[hum-suffer]

Utho anarkali new song recommendation just dropped

[andi-o-geyser]

a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind

[chloesimaginationthings]

The aesthetic in FNAF 4 is unmatched..