#this is what happens to anyone in my vicinity. I drop therapy lore on them. and brother i have over a years worth

[doomdoomofdoom]

I understand the struggle so hard. So I'm gonna dump more of my therapists advice on you. open source therapy.

I remember two exercises we talked about, one that didnt work for me and one that did:

Child in a grocery store: Required: Floor. Lay on the floor, scream and cry and kick your legs and twist around and slam your arms, like you're a toddler who got denied a chocolate bar. Repeat until satisfied. Throwing a tantrum like this is one of the first ways we learn to release negative emotions, so it usually comes the most natural to us.

Wood chopper: Required: Couch, Bed, or other cushioned surface of similar height. (Alternatively, chop actual wood but few people have that available.) Stand in front of your (soft!) target. Raise both arms and combine them over your head into one mega fist. Then, while bending your knees, slam your mega fist down onto your target with all your strength and rage. Your furniture is sturdy enough to take it. A loud yell with every smack is optional, but helpful (and helps regulate your breathing!) Repeat until satisfied. This exercise lets you release your anger in a more controlled fashion and you get to larp as a buff lumberjack if so desired.

Want to scream but worried about the noise? Don't want to upset your parents/neighbors/pets? A pillow to the face muffles screams very effectively. Any other sound playing at the same time like music or a TV will cover it up completely.

And one final piece of advice that I'm still chewing on: Anger isn't a shameful emotion. (No emotion is shameful.) It's one of our core emotional reactions. (According to my therapist, the others are Joy, Grief/Sadness, Surprise, Fear, and Disgust) Just like any other emotion, it needs to be felt, and it needs to be processed, or it will build up and make you miserable. The purpose of anger is to react to a negative thing by making you feel big and strong enough to confront it, but these days we rarely have a source that's easily confronted, so your options are either to channel it into productivity (i have written some of my best papers out of sheer spite) or to release it somehow, since redirecting your anger isn't always easy.

I am so fucking angry right now. I want to hurt something but there's nothing in my sphere of influence I want to see get hurt. You understand my struggle