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early20sfailingplenty · 3 years ago

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I don't want to be afraid of you anymore // Bo Sinclair x reader

When I first watched HOW, Bo scared the everloving shit out of me. I know he's meant to, I get that, but it took weeks for me to move past it (shout out to @aggravatetheaxe for reminding me that Bo is, above all else, a person, which seems obvious but it was the conversation I needed to begin to see him in a new light. I quickly fell in love soon after so I guess I just needed a little nudge🥺🤣). It was the loud noises and shouting which scared me more than anything else he did (lmfao my priorities are a bit messed up, huh?🤣) and I wanted to try to capture what Y/N would have done if they decided they didn't want to be scared of Bo anymore (read: I write down my daydreams and change it into a blurb🤣)

Summary: Bo is the only Sinclair you're afraid of... until you decide to try otherwise. Much to your relief, and Bo's, oddly enough, it's easier than it looks once you approach him. He's only human, after all, just like his brothers.

TW; canon typical darkness & violence, reader is one of Bo's victims who somehow manages to stay alive and live in the Sinclair household (I'll let you make up this backstory), unhealthy dynamics (power imbalance because reader is scared of Bo and the man in question knows it and plays up to it when it suits him and same with Vincent, though he uses fear tactics such as very real death threats he implies but otherwise doesn't make known to the reader. It's implied also that reader knows it, though, and reacts accordingly), depictions of fear, Vincent is soft!dark, smoking (Bo), the twins manipulate the reader by orchestrating a scenario to retrieve information - why the reader is scared of Bo. Reader doesn't know Bo was in the room too.

GENDER NEUTRAL READER, NO CODED LANGUAGE, "YOU" AND Y/N USED. Vincent's dialogue is like "this."

Unedited & written in one sitting so apologies for any typos!

Word count: 2, 749.

Vincent had been the Sinclair to decide to 'keep' you around; he was wary and distrusting of strangers, but the fact that you were still alive after being in Bo's garage basement for four days said everything that it needed to, and his twin had only needed a little nudge from Vincent to decide to get you out of there and into their house.

Similarly, it was Vincent now who once again intervened and demanded to know why you avoided Bo like the plague even after being in Ambrose for several weeks, the various cuts and bruises you had sustained having long since healed and faded into minor scarring. If Bo entered a room you were in, you tensed up and left at the earliest opportunity presented to you. If Bo asked you a question, you gave him the smallest answer you knew you could get away with and your voice was quiet. You never made eye contact with him, you never stepped within three feet of him, and you genuinely avoided him as much as possible. It was making life very uncomfortable for Vincent and Lester, and though Bo seemed unbothered by it, his brothers knew that he was starting to feel hurt by it. Every time you fled from him, it was yet another personal slight.

Lester was initially very understanding of your fear of his eldest brother and Vincent was sympathetic, gaining a deeper understanding of you and your inner workings quicker than his brothers due to the way he had medically checked you over and nursed you back to health, but even they were beginning to tire of it. They could only say the same things to Bo so many times before words and sentiments ran dry from overuse.

They understood your fear and they were willing to give you time, but Vincent put his foot down three weeks to the day that you had become a permanent resident in Ambrose. He couldn't stomach seeing the look of growing hurt and rejection on his twin's face one more time. You may have been given the opportunity to stay, but no one hurt his twin and lived to tell the tale.

No one.

If Vincent couldn't nudge you in the right direction with the tentative bond you shared, then no one would be able to.

The intervention was staged, though you didn't know about it. All three Sinclairs were aware that you tended to clean up the kitchen after breakfast, so as you turned the tap on and let the water run until tendrils of steam gently curled around one another before dissipating entirely, Bo made his exit and you stared after him with an odd look on your face. To Vincent, who was watching you carefully from the table, it looked very much like curiosity, guilt and something else he couldn't quite place. He knew you well, but not that well. Not yet.

He rapped the knuckles of one hand just once on the wooden surface of the table to catch your attention and when you turned around to look at him quizzically, he pointed in the direction Bo had left in with a tilt of his head. Despite how casual he was being, you could see the rigid set of Vincent's shoulders and jaws. You remembered all at once that Vincent was arguably even scarier than Bo was, and yet you had had no issues warming up to him, so why were there issues towards Bo? But then, Vincent didn't shout, scream or make sudden movements which scared you so badly you couldn't breathe for a few seconds until you took active steps to calm yourself down.

Truth be told, you knew why you were scared of Bo, but you didn't fully understand it, given how fond you were of Vincent and Lester. They were cut from the same cloth, after all.

This wasn't the first time Vincent had asked you about this, but it was the last time, and something within you knew that. So, with a forehead that was beginning to heat up from the inside, you said, "He scares me, Vincent." He put his arm down once he received an answer, content that you were speaking with him about this (not that he had given you a choice in the matter). You turned around to begin washing up, thinking you could speak candidly if you could only feel, rather than see, Vincent's penetrating gaze, but he rapped on the table again, harder this time, and pushed the chair adjacent to him out with his boot.

The message, given so firmly it was practically an order, was obvious:

Sit.

So you did. On somewhat unsteady legs, you made your way over and practically collapsed into the chair. "I don't know why, he just does. I mean, I know why - " You were rambling now, out of nerves and fear, "It's because he makes loud noises and he shouts and I... I don't deal with that very well. You and Lester are quieter and I never really feel like I'm gonna get jumped every time I'm near the two of you. I'm scared he's gonna yell at me or hurt me if I do something wrong, and I don't - "

Vincent raised one hand at you, palm up, interrupting you smoothly. Then, he moved so that you could see both of his hands and with movements so firm you read him in a clipped tone, he signed, "My brother is a human, Y/N. Not a monster. Don't forget - human."

"Of course Bo's a human, Vincent!" You sounded almost indignant, or like you were dismissing his words. Your tone made Vincent bristle and he straightened up his posture, but then he caught the epiphany dawn across your face and he settled back down. Well, then. That was easier than he expected. The knives he had brought with him if this went south seemed redundant, now, though he was grateful for the security they gave him. "Oh... Ohhhh," You trailed off, looking at Vincent with a gaze so distant he knew you weren't really seeing him. "Bo's... Bo's a human. He's a person."

Vincent nodded, as if to say, "obviously." He leaned forward and reached out for your hands. You gave them to him instantly, confused, and he laced your fingers together. The grip was tight, nearly bruising, but you didn't pull away. You couldn't have, even if you had wanted to, so it was just as well. Vincent's one blue eye remained on your face and you held the eye contact as steadily as you could, your mind racing as you tried to figure out whether he was holding you down or... or trying to comfort you. Your question was answered when Vincent squeezed your hands and then let go to sign, "Bo is my brother. Mine. And Lester's. Do with that what you will." He stood up, then, walked around the table to you and put his hand atop your head on his way past. Comfort, then.

"Vincent!" You called out to him in a panic, your thoughts beginning to take you over, and he turned to look at you impassively. "I'll try, I promise." You paused when he tilted his head at you, his long dark locks hanging over his mask, and then you said, "thank you."

He nodded and then signed once more, "human." and left you to it. His job was done, and it was all up to you now. He hoped you could move past your fear; you would never fully settle into Ambrose if you didn't, and truly, it was gut-wrenching watching his brother crumble a little more every time you ran away from him - sometimes literally. Vincent understood you, but that didn't mean he liked it and no matter how fond he was of you, Bo and Lester always came first. Always. They hadn't survived like this for so long due to opening ranks, after all, and you could either accept all the Sinclairs as they were, or your corpse would be shown the gore pit. Your choice. Vincent hadn't told you that, though, because he wanted you to come to your own decision without yet more fear hanging over your head. But if push came to shove, you would be dead so fast you would never know what had hit you. It was all three or none of them, plain and simple.

Hours passed and you were deep in the thoughts Vincent had left you with while you cleaned the kitchen and got on with your day. Bo hadn't come anywhere near you since breakfast, after you had shied away from him, and you suspected that all three brothers were actively keeping out of your way until this was resolved. It wasn't a big deal until it was and you kept putting yourself in Bo's shoes, asking yourself how you would feel if someone was scared of you. You had a reason and a right to be scared of Bo, it was true, but you had accepted Vincent and Lester knowing full well who they were and what they did, and you kept repeating one sentence to yourself:

Bo is a human.

You were coaxing yourself into being brave and you wondered how best you could show this to Bo. As early morning turned into early afternoon, you came to a decision and you knew what you wanted to do. But first, you had to seek out the man at the core of all of this, so that in all ways you could face your fears. Your physical wounds had healed a while ago and now you needed to take active steps to healing your emotional ones, too.

You found Bo in the garage, where he spent a great deal of his time. To soften your appearance, you took him some lunch (having dropped Vincent's off beforehand and leaving Lester's in the fridge with a note for him) and a new pack of cigarettes. The packet was bright yellow - his favourite brand. You put them and his lunch down on the counter next to the fake cash register, and the way Bo stiffened from where he was underneath a car before he rolled out told you that he somehow knew it was you. It was probably your shoes, or the gait of your walk. Or maybe it was his sharp hunter's instincts. You didn't want to think about it too closely or you would lose the little nerve you had built up over the last few hours.

"I - I bought you some lunch, Bo. Figured you'd be hungry." You winced at how weak your tone was and cleared your throat, focusing on what Vincent had said - Bo's a human.

Bo's icy blues ran over your body. Analysing you and your body language. Trying to work you out. He didn't know what Vincent had said to you in the kitchen earlier, but he had heard you and it hadn't surprised him - it wouldn't take a genius to see that you were scared of him. It practically rolled off of you in waves, though Bo hadn't realised it was because he was a bit more volatile than his brothers were. He wanted to make a sarcastic comment, to spit the venom at you which you expected, but he didn't want you to be scared of him anymore, so he took a deep steadying breath and said, "Uh, thanks."

You nodded, your eyes darting around the room. You went up on the balls of your feet and then came back down several times, chewing on your lip. Your eyes glazed over slightly and Bo scoffed and turned his head away from you, a lump in his throat and his eyes stinging. What had he been expecting? No one had ever been able to accept him, apart from his brothers, and you were clearly no diff -

"Bo?"

His head snapped around so fast that he felt something in his neck twinge and he said, "yeah?" in a somewhat clipped tone.

"May I - I mean, that is - " You took a deep breath and Bo felt a smirk dawn across his lips. What had his brother said to you? This was the longest conversation the two of you had ever had, which didn't say anything good about the current state of affairs. But still, it was progress. "May I try something, please?"

"Depends," Bo chuckled, "S'gonna hurt?"

Your eyes widened and he could almost visualise the heat flooding through your body as you visibly cringed and stepped back, making that lump in his throat deepen.

"Ah, hell," He cursed. Given what he knew from the way he had eavesdropped this morning, that wasn't the... smartest thing he could have said. "M'jus' messin', Y/N."

You nodded and smiled tightly in an attempt to dissipate the tension you could feel building up within you. You took a step forward and then another, and another... Bo's gaze, like a hawk, took in your every move, and before you knew it, you were so close that you were practically chest to chest with the eldest Sinclair. It was the closest you had been ever since he had gotten you out of his chair three weeks ago. Bo stared at you, his dark brows furrowed, his jaw and fists clenched alike.

Slowly, oh so slowly, you brought a hand up, up, to rest against Bo's chest. You could feel his heart thumping against your palm and you pressed down hard, making the man sharply inhale. "You're human," You murmured to yourself, staring at your hand.

Bo's own came up to rest atop yours, slowly as he mimicked the pace of your own movements, and laced your fingers together. His grip was as bruising as Vincent's. You expected to feel fear at his touch, for never had he been kind to you, but you didn't. You felt... almost at peace with the way the heat of him sunk into your skin. He smirked wryly, "Last I checked, yeah."

You smiled and Bo felt his breath catch in his throat. He wanted to make you do that again. And again. And again. You kept your hand on his chest - not that you could have moved it away even if you had wanted to, so alike was he to Vincent (or was Vincent more like Bo? You hadn't been in Ambrose long enough to find out, but all at once you found yourself wanting to know things such as this) - and wrapped your other arm around him in a hug.

Bo's breath audibly caught again and you made it a point to step into him. Bo let your hands drop and he wrapped his arms around you solidly. The last time he had done this to you, it had been in a tackle, with the clear intent to cause you serious bodily harm. But this? Oh, this was a reconciliation, two tried and tired souls wanting to choose a new path, to forge a new bond. Bo felt you relax in his arms as you brought the arm he had dropped up around him, too, and he rewarded you - to his thinking - with a tighter hold. He was the last Sinclair you got to hug for the first time, and you quite decided that he was your favourite to hug, too.

"For what it's worth," Bo was almost whispering, "M'sorry."

You shook your head and bravely nuzzled your face into his neck, which made him sigh quietly as he tipped his head down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. The apology was almost redundant - you knew he would never change and you weren't sure that you wanted him to, either. You had been so brave for so long in this and you were tired of having to constantly question what you said, what you did, when and why. You just wanted to stay here with Bo, knowing firsthand what he was capable of but trusting, perhaps stupidly, that he wouldn't do it to you again. The same arms that had caged you threateningly three weeks ago were now wrapped around you like a blanket, and you decided that you preferred it like this. "I don't wanna be scared of you anymore," You mumbled.

"So don't be." Bo shrugged and you smiled, your face hidden from his view.

Could it really be that easy?

The longer Bo held you, the more certain you were that it was.

#bo sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair imagine #bo sinclair x you #house of wax #house of wax imagine #house of wax 2005 imagine #house of wax 2005 #slasher community #slasher imagine #slasher fic

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mercyisms · 2 years ago

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Niche Nona Liveblogging: Day Five - Ch. 26

All right, baby. It’s time. It’s time to unhinge the whole mind. Rip those hinges right off. Let the brain flap in the wind. Et ceterea. Spoilers until the very end of Nona the Ninth. Previous and future liveblogs are here. Apologies for unedited typos and mis-transcriptions are right here, at your feet, take them. Some comments will be in vaguely chronological liveblogged spurts, but I think I’ll group certain other observations together under their coalescencing themes and my baby thoughts about them. Just kidding, this felt too long already, so we’ll put thematic observations in the next and final post?? This liveblog now goes until Chapter 26 or page 375 in the hardcover. Also. I’ve stopped climbing the walls. I’m on the ceiling now. I’m never coming down.

“as though others were more deserving than Nona, the most deserving person on the planet” and she’s right! “But I don’t want to be redheaded. I do not think of myself as redheaded.” “She was probably quite a bit older than Pyrrha, with strongly marked features and an aristocratic, slightly hooked nose, and her face was marked with lines that showed even beneath a light layer of powder and make-up” + “She was starting to perk up, by We Suffer standards, which meant her eyes had narrowed a bit.” Sorry to be me, but We Suffer confirmed h*t. I knew it. I knew it. Hooked nose! I knew it. “meeting up with the Messenger, whom you call the Angel… we may actually survive it” fascinated by this but also as the Angel becomes a confirmed Blood of Eden / Merv wing agent, I am once again tapping the NGE mech asking if it’s ready to go… “The Angel is Blood of Eden.” (294) “Corona can’t lie to her.” (296) cf. Crown/Corona’s belief, as disclosed to Nona anyway, that she can. It is very clear which Tridentarii Camilla, anyway, thinks is ascendant. We’re also noting that “Violabeth” is such a name. (Also matriarchal lineage on the Third or…?) You know, I twigged, of course I twigged at the “very obviously dead person with fashion hair” – but I really did not piece together, until the reveal, that Ianthe was puppeting Babs’ dead body and self-styling him as a vessel for princedom. In-cred-i-ble. Everything happening here is off the charts and I would expect nothing less from the Tridentarii, evil kings and princes and girls that I love. Also unhinged and again I am obsessed that Nona mistakes Ianthe-in-Babs for Crown/Corona’s boyfriend and Palamedes is like “yeah, well. Honest mistake.” “You think we’re fighting you on Antioch.” Not our first mention of Antioch, but the first that there’s a different threat. I’m putting my chin in my hands, I’m twirling my hair, I’m asking Ianthe to tell me pretty please. “Get the fishhook out of the fish.” At which point I went, ah yes, code word, and immediately had to flip back.

“[Blood of Eden owns] things in common, we share responsibilities and resources in common. [Wake] could’ve moved those resources at will.” Good tie-in to As Yet Unsent and Judith being mystified over their slightly more lateral chain of command. “It even scared A--. He was all, Matter doesn’t play by these rules! You’re doing bone parthenogenesis! I told him his mum did bone parthenogenesis. A—told me he’d kill me one day.” No commentary. “M—‘s nun of all people was convinced that [the soul] was the element I was missing, and that finding it… would bring us closer to God.” Sweeps Cristabel Oct crumbs into my hand and kisses them all goodnight. I cannot believe I was hoodwinked into being obsessed with a nun. “He never knew how to pick between me and P—” G1deooooon. Gideon, Gideon, Gideon. I’m gratified for each any every bit of characterization, which I think goes a long way in giving G1deon a slight degree more of agency post-HTN. “Absorption through the eyes is worse than the brain.” Cf. Augustine’s something to the effect of “That dolt. [Mercymorn] knows not to look at [RB7] directly.” Neither of which confirms whether Mercymorn actually looked at it or just knew to fake she looked at it. I’m sure she did just look at it. Even HTN is not that complex, but I remain stuck on that scene, huh? “Do you know, I miss Harrow terribly.” Nerds (bullying emoji). Nerds who are friends (teary emoji). “I have very often not had to shoot myself.” Once again, We Suffer is hot. ALSO, for that matter, so is Pash and her blue hair. Icon. Angry legend. We love them all. “Crack the sky, Troia cell.” Back in the days of 8tracks, I had a mildly successful Lin Beifong themed fanmix called break the sky, which was named after the Hush Sound song of the same name. These are just some of the fun, personal facts about me you get from sticking around. (All cops? Terrible. But I’m making allowances both Nepotism Chief Beifong and Necrotism Chief Pyrrha Dve. Unfortunately.) “[Crown] had her big beautiful hair down around her shoulders in a profusion of smoothed, rippling curls, and she was wearing a lovely pale yellow slip that left her golden shoulders and throat bare. The dress was slit all the up to the thigh and she wore soft black leather trousers beneath it…” Slit-skirt over trousers, Coronabeth is single-handedly bring back to 00’s. But also we can note the gender and Corona skewing more traditionally feminine again, now in the presence of Ianthe. Throughout, Ianthe makes several comments about Coronabeth’s hair, a fixation that seems in-line with Ianthe’s force-growing of Harrow’s hair / attempts to cast Harrow as more traditionally feminine than Harrow seems personally inclined. Now is, maybe, a good moment to also reflect on Harrow’s gender presentation versus Nona’s. Again, the hair. The hair. And Nona’s attachment to her long hair. (Which… given what John tells us later… but we’ll get to that!!!) “Teacher assumes [the Sixth] melted as result of a little domestic drama, which sets him off wallowing again.” Getting over a polycule murder-break-up is hard. “This is the last thing he needs. If he hears that yet another of his duplicitous sluts betrayed him.” I am kissing each of the duplicitous sluts on the head. I love them. I love them all. I love the broken polycule. “Cassiopeia the First left us instructions years ago… We left for a Lyctor.” At which point we were, as they say, hooting and hollering. I think it was a well-documented theory that Mercymorn’s account of Cassiopeia’s death did not feel complete and left room for doubt but yes, give me another hyper-competent mean lady. Give me the lawyer-librarian. I am rubbing my little hands together. I am desperate to learn her Homestuck typing quirk. What will be her punctuation of choice, I beg of you. Also Tamsyn, you cannot tell me the guy named Ulysses (WHERE did his soul come from?? Who IS he???) is not also returning. So like. Yum. Delicious. I want to collect two new duplicitous sluts in Alecto, pretty please. “But we’re closer to the goal than ever before.” When Ianthe DOES reveal her endgame, I am going to be absolutely wild. “Every single dead soldier’s fingers twitched.” Someone call Santa Claus from Chainsaw Man bc Ianthe’s about to crush them to the ground in a PVP puppeteering fight. “Oh, darling, you’re always everyone else’s girl.” !!!!! “It was like the scream was made of her insides” Again, filing the scream away for future purposes (338). I would very much like Nona to get into heavy metal. I think that would be nice. “and maybe [Judith’s father will] stop moaning about supply lines” again, simply attentive to who is doing what portions of the day to day management of the war efforts and general empire-running. “You challenged the Sixth for its keys” – At which point I screamed for the callback. Also, God. It was only “over a year ago”? Death comes at you fast. “… between Naberius and me, there are no more weaknesses. I took those away… and now he is perfect.” (342) Frankly, did not expect this book to be a big win for the Babsheads, but I’m really happy for them. Ianthe’s ideas of perfection and perfect lyctorhood are emergent here and relevant in contrast to Palamedes’, but we’ll touch on that later. “As poor old Augustine used to say, It’s impossible, and what’s more, it’s improbable.” (342) At which point my mind began to gurgle, but God we note the poor old Augustine mirrors Augustine’s own constant refrain of poor little Cyth. There’s an intriguing way in which Ianthe is mimicking Augustine here and through actually taking up smoking later (I wonder if we can do a certain gender thing here). But I admit my first thought was really wow, Saint of Patience completely bodied. She truly felt nothing for him, she thought he was small and old, and I cannot believe Augustine thought Ianthe would side with him over God. I know I tweet this like five times a year but truly every time I remember Augustine is canonically blonde, it really does feel like an injustice to me personally. ALSO that he’s like, what, canonically 40ish and not played by Jeremy Irons?? Ridiculous. CW // Suicide mention in the next section // “’I wouldn’t get hurt. I’d just die,’ said Crown, her bronzed throat working against the barrel. ‘You’re not all-powerful here. All you have are wards and puppets. I shoot, the bullet goes through my palate and into the brain, and then you’re the Crown Princess of Ida… like you never wanted.” (343) A fascinating threat of sovereignty and !!! “’I’m going to shoot myself and you’re going to watch,’ said Crown, with deep satisfaction. ‘Like when we were teens, but this time I’m really going to tie the rope… really going to drink the poison…’” Corona’s history of suicidal thoughts adds a riveting new dimension to her expectation/desire that Ianthe would eat her (“My heart’s own… my necromancer” !!). Mmmm Tridentarii and their psychodramas. I’m leaning forward in my side. // End CW “You’ve been training with someone who knew what they were doing.” Augustine or Gideon? Both? I cannot believe Palamedes had to pilot Naberius’ body and I would pay money for that Freaky Friday AU. “Personally? She’s the last thing I have left of a woman I tried to trick into loving me, and got played myself.” I cannot believe this is the off-screen romance. God. God! I am eating the ceiling tiles. Pyrrha/Wake Spy Vs Spy asshole edition. Pyrrha/Wake idk Mr. and Mrs. Smith only I think maybe in reverse? I haven’t seen that movie since I was a child. (ft. “Let’s not get too cute about it, though. My best friend and I punched her out an airlock. Apart from that, I was ready to commit.”) Also the incredibly me note that “Well, you’ll probably start visiting clubs and trying to hit on the dancers, and going from relationship to relationship not really being able to commit” (357) that this in did make my soul long for a single, single Augustine/Pyrrha interaction. God. What that must have been. “Talk about being the mother’s daughter… She’s him in the eyes and brows… amazed Mercymorn didn’t see it. But she wasn’t looking for it, I guess.” (361) Mercy, you beautiful fool. Also very crucial Gideon food, truly.

We’re filing away all comments on Gideon, and Gideon’s body, and where we find her for the end but god “a big purple bloodless puncture wound, with white teeth peeking out coyly from within” (366). Explain the teeth! Please explain the teeth! Why does necromancy lead to teeth!!!! What is up with the stoma!!! “I’ve never much seen the allure of an evil cougar.” (368) Your loss, Sextus. Cytherea ): Gone but never forgotten ): ): ):

“Judith Deuteros for some reason” is a great laugh line. “Those are my speed holes. They help me go fast,” is an abomination.

Gideon. Last stretch will be here soon. I am still on the ceiling.

#nona the ninth #ntnspoilers #nona spoilers #nona the ninth spoilers #the locked tomb #m: nona liveblogging

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study-coffee-chicago · 3 years ago

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Titanic AU (Jay Halstead + Halstead Sister + Upstead Imagine)

A/N: The last like 1.5k words are unedited because I wanted to get this out to you guys, so if there are any typos, I apologize in advance. Please remember to reblog and comment as I love hearing what you think! Enjoy!

April 10, 1912

"A kitty!" you yelled excitedly and pointed to the cat walking down the gangway with a kitten in her mouth. "She has a baby, too!"

You made a move to chase after the mama cat and her baby when Jay quickly grabbed your hand.

"Y/N, what did I say earlier?" Jay asked sternly. He couldn't have you running about with this many people around. Plus, if you ran around who's to know when he'd find you, and by then, the ship of dreams could've left and you and he would have to wait around for another ship to go see Will in America.

"Stay by you," you answered, while still longingly looking at the cat as it trotted away.

"Exactly. So, you stay with me. I know you want to see the cat, but we can't right now, okay? You'll probably see them in New York anyway."

"They have kitties there? Where Will is?" you asked, looking up at your big brother with wide, curious eyes.

"Of course, they have kitties in New York, silly. They have kitties everywhere."

"Cat runnin' off the ship," a man said from behind you and Jay, "that there's a bad omen."

"What does that mean?" you asked. "Are- Are we in trouble?"

Great, now he's done it, Jay thought to himself. "No, pumpkin, it's just what some people think. Me and you don't think that. We're not in trouble and we're perfectly safe."

You nodded and then continued to take in your surroundings while you took a step forward in the line.

"Sorry about that," the man said from behind Jay. Jay turned to look at him. "Didn't know you had your daughter with ya or else I wouldn't have said anything. Didn't mean to scare the little lady."

"Appreciate the apology," Jay said. "And, she's my sister, not my daughter."

The man nodded. "I'm Adam. What stateroom ya in? I'm in 28."

Jay glanced down at his and your tickets. "We're in 28 as well."

"Looks like we'll be bunking together for the time being. And don't worry, I'll be totally civil since there's a child."

Jay was about to say something when you pulled on his sleeve to get his attention and started pointing. "Jay Jay, look! There's a car in the air!"

Jay looked where you were pointing and chuckled. Sure enough, the crew was using a system of ropes of pulleys to get a car--no doubt someone's from first-class--onto the ship.

"I see that," he said.

Then, you continued pointing things out that were interesting to you that were getting hauled onto the ship.

"Why they gotta look through our hair, Jay Jay?" you asked once you were almost at the front of the line for the health inspections.

"To make sure we didn't have bugs in them," Jay answered.

"I don't have bugs in my hair!" you protested. "I didn't even play outside today and you helped me wash my hair yesterday!"

Jay chuckled at your response. "I know that. But, they just gotta be sure. They don't want anybody getting sick."

"Oh, okay." Then, you started to watch the first class people walk on the ship, the women wearing very pretty dresses. This kept you occupied until you and Jay got to the front of the line for health inspections.

***

"I don't understand why we can't bring our own liquor on board," Thomas Upton complained to his wife and daughter.

"For the last time, Tom, they'll have some on board," Irene Upton explained. "And don't get your knickers in a twist. You don't have to pay for it since it's included.

"Don't you dare talk to me--" Remembering there were people around, he lowered his voice. "Don't talk to me that way, you hear. Of course, I remembered the liquor is all-inclusive."

"So you can drown yourself in it as usual," their daughter, Hailey muttered.

"What did you say?"

"Just said the trip should be business as usual," Hailey lied as her blonde hair rippled in the April breeze. "Get on, relax, and then get off in New York."

"Yes, right, and then we'll take the train home to Chicago."

Hailey wanted to say that she wasn't going back home to Chicago with her oh so dear parents (more like her oh so dear mother; she hated her father), but rather, she was going to stay in New York and try to go to university to study and become a lawyer. She knew that women weren't allowed to take the bar exam federally (but, state law still mattered), but she hoped that this law would be overturned by the time she finished her studies. She knew that in New York women were allowed to take law classes, and fifteen years ago, women were even permitted to take the bar exam there. A Women's Bar Association had even been established in Brooklyn, New York a year ago. Although she could still study law and take the Illinois state bar exam, she wanted to go to university in New York, seeing as there were better schools there than in Illinois. That, and she needed to get away from her father.

Thomas Upton hadn't always been a drunk. Once, he had been a good father to his three sons and one daughter. That was until he lost one of the three bars he owned. Then, he started drinking and kept it up. After all, it was fine to drink that much alcohol because that meant that he wasn't drinking contaminated water (in the days he grew up, sometimes it was safer to drink liquor than water if someone near you had gotten sick since it could be due to the community well). But, then, since his sons were old enough, they figured out a way to reopen the third bar.

During that time though, he had started grabbing onto his wife and daughter harder than he probably should have. But, who would they tell? The father had authority in the house, so therefore this was fine.

Hailey on the other hand thought differently. Her mother just took the abuse. Hailey did, but she didn't want to. She followed the suffragette movement and hoped one day that women get the right to vote and that men would stop being such scum. She hoped that one day women would be able to do the same jobs as men and get as much respect as men. And then, maybe men wouldn't think it was okay to hurt their wives and daughters just because they could since men were "chosen by God to be the superior sex". Hailey thought that was horseshit, but she'd never tell her mother and father that.

As Hailey was thinking about her plan to become a lawyer in New York and leave her family behind, she walked up the gangway and onto what everyone deemed as an unsinkable ship.

***

"Sir, unless you have a family, you're going to have to go down there," a third-class steward said to Adam.

"My ticket says room 28," Adam protested.

"Well, there must be some mistake. What's your name, sir?"

"Adam Ruzek."

"Right, Ruzek...Ruzek..." the steward muttered as he ran a finger down the list. "Ah, yes! Says here you're in stateroom 82. Must've been a misprint with the ticket office, I'll be sure to pass it along to them."

"Alright, thank you."

"But, Adam said he was gonna teach me how to play the pigs game," you whined.

"Don't you worry, little lady," Adam reassured. "I can bring Pigs in a Clover to the general room and teach you how to play."

"You promise?" you asked while holding Jay's hand.

"I promise," he replied with a wink. He held out a hand to Jay. "Nice meeting the two of you. I'm sure I'll see you soon."

Jay shook Adam's outstretched hand. "I'm fairly certain of that since I'm sure this one will want to see you again. Best of luck to you."

"You as well."

"Alright, pumpkin, ready to go see our room?"

"Yeah!" You gasped. "You put Teddy in the big bag, right? I need Teddy."

Jay chuckled. "Of course, I remembered to put Teddy in the suitcase. I couldn't forget him now, could I?"

"No, or else you would be in trouble."

"Would I now? And what kind of trouble would you do me in for?"

You scrunched up your face in thought. "No more Y/N hugs."

Jay gasped. "No more Y/N hugs? That's terrible! But, that would mean you don't get anymore Jay Jay hugs."

Now it was your turn to gasp. "I love Jay Jay hugs. You don't get in trouble. I would just be very sad."

"I know you would, pumpkin. And that would be punishment enough for me. Now, let's go see our room for the next couple of days."

You nodded excitedly and walked with Jay while happily swinging your joined hands back and forth.

"We get bunk beds?" you exclaimed excitedly at the sight of your stateroom.

"Yes, we do. But, I think it would be a good idea for you to sleep on the bottom bunk since there's no ladder to help you get down if you need to use the bathroom at night."

"But I want the top bunk!"

Jay sighed. "I know you do. But, how about you can come up with me sometimes during the day to read a story, okay?"

"Okay."

Jay set the suitcase on one of the bottom bunks and flipped it open. You quickly grabbed Teddy seeing as he was sitting on top.

You looked up at the doorway just as a woman walked into the room.

"Jay Jay," you whispered. You had never seen this lady before.

"Hi, I'm Vanessa Rojas," the lady introduced herself.

"Jay Halstead," Jay said and stepped forward to shake her hand.

You hid behind Jay's legs. You didn't know who this strange lady was!

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Halstead."

"Please call me Jay." He paused. "And, the little girl hiding behind my legs is my little sister, Y/N."

"Hi, Y/N," Vanessa greeted. "I won't bite. I promise. I might even have some sweets in my bag if you want some."

That got you out from behind Jay's legs.

"You have candy?" you asked timidly.

"I do." She looked back up at Jay. "That is if she can have some of course."

"I think a few pieces should be fine," Jay answered.

Vanessa sat on the bottom bunk and opened her purse. She took out four boxes, each the size of a field notebook and the depth of half a ruler. "Alright, we have candied orange peels, turrón, tortas de aceite, and churros."

"What are those?" you asked quietly.

"These--," She held up the box of tortas de aceite. "--are like sweet bread with cinnamon. These--" She put down that box and picked up the one with the churros "are like the ones I just showed you but sweeter. And these--" She held up the tin of turrón. "--are sweet and they have almonds and uh, this sticky sweet stuff called nougat inside."

She let you try the candied orange peels first, which you liked. They tasted like the ones you'd always have at home during Christmastime. Then, she had you try a torta de aceite. You got one half and Jay got the other. They did taste like sweet bread and were super crunchy! Then, you tried a small churro.

"They taste like elephant ears!" you excitedly said to Jay. "But these are better!"

Vanessa smiled and then handed you a piece of turrón. You were skeptical about this one because you had never seen anything like this before, but everything else she gave you tasted good. So, you tried it. And, like everything else she had given you, it was sweet and delicious.

"These are delicious, thank you," Jay said.

"Thank you!" you piped up from where you were sitting on the bottom bunk and licking remnants of nougat from your fingers.

"Where did you learn how to make these?" Jay asked.

"My mother taught me," Vanessa replied. "I took her original recipes, gave them a little more sweetness, and ¡buen provecho! I started my own little bakery, which grew into more. Turns out they want one in America."

"Wow, congratulations," Jay said.

"Yeah congra-lations," you agreed, causing both Jay and Vanessa to laugh at your pronunciation for a split second.

Once you were unpacked, Jay suggested that you and he go explore the rest of the ship. He invited Vanessa, but she said that she had a long journey to get here and desired a nap. So, it was just you and Jay off to explore the Titanic.

***

It was dinnertime and Hailey was sitting in a giant dining room with fancy tables. God, she hated this. Having to be all prim and proper and respect her father when she and her mother didn't get an ounce of respect in return. That's why she hated fancy dinners because she always had to act like the perfect daughter. The perfect daughter who had the perfect family because her perfect father was rich. But that's not how this was. It's not how it had been for years.

She doesn't remember when it started really. She thinks she was just born into it. There was never a specific day it happened she's always remembered liquor bottles.

She didn't care if she was on the ship of dreams. She didn't care that she was probably having a fancy meal that people would die for. All Hailey wanted to do was get to New York and get out of this life.

She wanted to yell at her father and expose him in front of all these rich people. Maybe they'd take him to the brig and lock him up in jail cell once they got to America.

"I need some air," she said and abruptly pushed back her chair and started out of the dining room and to the deck.

***

"What's that one?" you asked Jay as he held you on his hip and you pointed at the constellations.

"That one is called the big dipper. See? It looks like I giant spoon."

You scrunched up your face. "That's a strange spoon," you said and looked at him. "You think Mommy and Daddy are up there?"

"I hope so," Jay answered. "They're watching over us and making sure that me and Will are the best big brothers to you and that we keep you safe."

You nodded. "You both are the best! And- And Mommy and Daddy are watchin' over me makin' sure I don't sneak cookies before dinnertime."

Jay chuckled. "Yes, that too."

Jay walked along the poop deck until he came to a staircase. He knew you couldn't go up there since that led to the first-class promenade deck.

But then, he heard yelling.

***

"Do you even want to be a part of this family?" Thomas Upton roared on the promenade deck. Luckily, no one was around.

"You want the truth, father?" Hailey asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I'll take that as a yes, then! If you want out of this family, then do it! But I will not be giving you a cent once this ship docks in New York. How will you get by? A single woman on her own?"

Hailey scoffed. "I'll figure it out."

"Sell yourself like a cheap whore?"

Hailey gasped. "You know, I always wondered why mother married you! Was it for money? Because you are one abusive bastar--"

Hailey was cut off by a slap to her face.

"You don't ever, ever speak to me like--"

"Hey!"

A man sprinted over to Hailey and her father and quickly stood between them.

"Did you just hit her?" he asked. Thomas Upton said nothing. "I asked you a damn question! Did you just hit her?"

"If I'm not wrong, scum like you aren't allowed on this deck," Thomas said. "You'd best be going before I call a steward and have you thrown in the brig."

"I'm sure they'd much rather throw you in for hitting a woman."

He scoffed. "I'm going back to the dining room. I'd suggest you leave before you make more trouble for yourself, young man."

Then, he walked away.

"Jay Jay?" Hailey heard a small voice ask. "Is the angry man gone?"

The stranger's tone softened. "He's gone, pumpkin. You can come out now." He turned to Hailey. "Are you alright? I'm sure there's a nurse on board if you need one."

"I'm fine, thank you, uh..." she trailed off, not knowing this kind stranger's name.

"Jay, Jay Halstead."

"Pleased to meet you, Jay. I'm Hailey Upton."

"Nice to meet you, Miss Upton."

"Please, call me Hailey."

Jay was about to say something when he felt a pair of arms wrap around his legs.

"Are you okay?" you asked once Jay had picked you up.

The lady smiled. "I'm okay. And who might you be?"

"I'm Y/N. Jay Jay's my big brother."

"I'm Hailey. Nice to meet you."

"Your dress is pretty," you complimented. "Jay Jay said we couldn't be up here but then we heard yelling and he said he needed to help."

"Well, that was very nice of him."

"He said Mommy told him and Will to respect ladies," you explained.

"I like that rule," Hailey agreed. She turned to Jay. "Let me at least buy you and your sister something at the Cafe Parisien to thank you for your kindness."

Jay waved his free hand. "It was nothing. I was just doing what any decent man would do."

"I insist," Hailey said. "And, I'm sure she'd enjoy one of the pastries they have there."

"Pastries? I like those!"

Jay sighed. He couldn't say no now that you had heard that. "But, how will we be allowed up there? We're only third class."

Hailey smirked. "Leave that to me. What's your stateroom number?"

"Stateroom 28 on D deck," Jay answered.

"Two-eight on D as in dog!" you agreed, repeating what Jay had taught you earlier in the day just in case you got lost on the ship.

Hailey laughed. "I'll be at room 28 on D deck as in dog tomorrow at two o'clock in the afternoon. I'll bring the clothes with me."

"Clothes?" Jay asked.

"Yes, clothes. Don't worry. I'll make sure you two look like first-class passengers."

***

"And now we get to see her tomorrow, too!" you told Vanessa excitedly after you had met back at your stateroom after yours and Jay's little adventure around the ship.

"How exciting!" she exclaimed.

"Do you think we can bring Vanessa back something from the caf... caf..." You furrowed your eyebrows trying to remember the name of the place.

Jay laughed. "Cafe Parisien, pumpkin."

Vanessa's eyes went wide. "The Cafe Parisien? But that's only for first-class passengers!"

Jay laughed again. "Very much aware. But Hailey said she had it figured out and would be here at two o'clock in the afternoon tomorrow."

Vanessa nodded, impressed.

"Do you think she's pretty, Jay Jay? I think she's very pretty," you said.

Jay smiled. "Hailey's pretty, pumpkin, very pretty."

Vanessa shook her head. "Amor en el barco. Que romántico y maravilloso." (Love on the ship. How romantic and marvelous.)

"Sorry, what?" Jay asked.

"Oh, nothing."

***

April 11, 1912

At 2:00, Hailey Upton knocked on the door of stateroom 28 on D-deck.

You whipped open the door. "Hi, Hailey!"

"What did I say about answering the door?" Jay admonished.

Even though the room was small, you were just a few feet closer to the door and able to reach the handle before he could. Of course, you didn't check the peephole to see who it was.

"Oops, sorry." Then, you turned back to Hailey. "We gonna go eat now?"

Hailey smiled and crouched down to your level. "In a minute, but I need to come in to give you some fancy clothes to change into. Does that sound alright?"

You nodded excitedly and moved out of the way and she came into the stateroom.

"Only two of you in the cabin?" she asked curiously.

"Well, there's Vanessa, too. She's the other person in our room," Jay explained. "A candy shop owner from Spain who is starting a shop in America as well."

"Her candy's really good!" you exclaimed.

Jay laughed and agreed. "So, Cafe Parisien? How do we go about this?"

"Well, I brought you this." She handed him a garment bag. Inside was a fancy suit she had stolen from her father. She had put a small dress in there, too. It was one her mother was planning to give to Hailey's niece once they arrived in New York. She figured she wouldn't even notice the dress was missing since they had bought her so many. "There's a suit for you and a dress for Y/N. You should blend in as first-class like that."

Hailey handed Jay the bag and he unzipped it. He pulled out his suit--tie, jacket with coattails, the lot--and then he pulled out the dress that you were to wear. It was a pastel pink with frills on it.

You gasped. "It's so pretty!" Pretty seemed to be the word you were using to describe everything as of late.

"It is!" Jay agreed, matching your enthusiasm. "How about I help you get changed and then I'll put mine on?"

You nodded and Hailey turned around as Jay helped you undress and then slid the dress over your head. Once it was on, you spun around and around. You loved watching the dress flair out around you. You felt like a princess in those stories that Jay would always tell you before you went to sleep.

Jay began to change as well. While he was doing that, Hailey snuck a peek over her shoulder. Color rose to her cheeks when she saw the muscles bulging in Jay's back before he put the white shirt on. She quickly turned her head back to its previous position. She couldn't risk you seeing the color in her cheeks because if she had learned anything from her brothers' children, it was that little ones said anything and everything that was on their minds.

"You can turn around now," Jay said.

Hailey turned around. He looked quite handsome.

"There. Now both of you look like first-class passengers."

"Thank you for the princess dress!" you exclaimed.

Jay laughed as Hailey said you're welcome. "You don't get to keep it, pumpkin."

"Oh. I still like it," you said and spun around once more, causing Jay and Hailey to both let out a laugh.

Their eyes met and Hailey quickly turned away as her cheeks filled with color once more.

***

"I- I dunno what to get," you said quietly as you stared at the case of pastries in the Cafe Parisien. All the choices were overwhelming. You wanted all of them, but you didn't want to pick the wrong one!

You stayed glued to Jay on the walk up here and were now still attached to his side. In fact, when he moved to go around to look at something, you quickly grabbed his hand to keep him from looking at it. This was all so new and strange to you that you continued to hold on to either Jay's pant leg or his hand.

Hailey bent down. "How about this," she started, "how about you choose the three that sound the best and then we all split them, hmm?"

"Hailey, I can't--"

"Okay!" you quickly cut Jay off. "I choose all three?" you asked and held up three fingers.

Hailey nodded and then you decided on your three.

A lemon pastry, a strawberry pastry, and a chocolate pastry.

"One lemon pastry, one strawberry pastry, one chocolate pastry, two coffees, and one hot chocolate," Hailey said.

The man repeated the order back to her and then she gave him her room number and said that it would be charged to her room and that she'd pay for it at the end of the voyage.

The three of you sat down at a table and Jay cut all three pastries. He also warned you to blow on your hot chocolate because it would be very hot if you took a sip of it right now. Jay placed a slice of each pastry on everyone's plate.

After trying all three, you decided that you liked the chocolate one the best.

"Of course," Jay laughed. "Which one do you like best, Hailey?"

"Hmmm," she said and then pursed her lips as if she were deep in thought. "Strawberry. Yours?"

"Mine's strawberry as well," Jay agreed.

"They should make a chocolate and strawberry one," you suggested.

"I think mixing our favorites would be a great pastry idea!" Hailey agreed. "Maybe you and Jay should write the White Starline once we get to New York, hmm?"

"Or, we could tell Vanessa and maybe she could make a kind of strawberry chocolate candy," Jay suggested.

You gasped. "Yeah!"

The three of you chatted while you ate your pastries and drank your drinks. During this time, Hailey suggested that tomorrow, she meet you at the same time and give you two a whole tour of the first-class areas.

You nodded excitedly while Jay tried to turn her down, but Hailey insisted and Jay relented. You were just excited because you might get to eat more sweets!

***

April 13, 1912

Yesterday, Hailey took you and Jay to explore the first-class areas of the ship. You did get more hot chocolate and pastries and you even ate some cheese and grapes. Everything was so good! It was better than a third-class dinner!

Tonight, Jay insisted that it was only fair if she come to a third-class party because he said that those would be more fun than the dreary conversations she described having the past two nights in the first-class dining room.

"You'll be fine," Jay reassured. "Any man looks at you wrong, I'll knock his teeth in."

"Mommy said no hitting, Jay Jay!" you told him.

"That's alright," Hailey butted in. "Surely I can handle myself in there."

Jay just smiled and shook his head. This woman was something else alright.

"Just in here," Jay said as he led the way and the music got louder. It was a sort of an Irish jig that was playing.

"Halstead!" Adam yelled over the music.

"Adam!" you yelled back and ran towards him.

"Little lady!" Adam said once you got to him and he picked you up and threw you up in the air and spun you around.

"You bring the pig game? You promised you would bring the pig game!"

"Y/N," Jay scolded. "Remember your manners. Mommy taught us those, too."

"Oh. Did you bring the pig game, please?"

Adam laughed at how you said that but answered anyway. He settled you on his hip like Jay always did. "I did. Mind if I steal your dancing partner from you, Jay?" he asked.

"Y/N!" Vanessa said as she made her way through the crowd. "I thought I heard your giggle!"

"You wanna play the pig game with me and Adam?" you asked. "He said he'd teach me!"

"I'd love to!" She turned to Jay and Hailey. "And, is this the famous Hailey I've heard about for the past two days?"

Hailey nodded. "Yes, and you must be Vanessa, the famed candy maker."

Vanessa smiled. "I wouldn't say famed quite yet. But candy maker, yes."

"Well, either way, pleasure to meet you, Vanessa."

The four grownups chatted until you bugged Adam enough that he took you and Vanessa over to a table to teach you how to play Pigs in a Clover.

"Would you like to dance?" Jay asked and held out his hand to Hailey.

"I would love nothing more."

***

After fifteen minutes, you had caught on to the game. It was a sort of circle maze where you had to get the marble to the end. You looked over at Jay and Hailey and gasped.

They were kissing.

"Adam! Vanessa! Look!"

You pointed at Jay and Hailey.

"Aw, hell," Adam groaned and covered your eyes.

Jay pointed to the door, then to him and Hailey, then to you and Adam. He mouthed "watch her" and Adam gave him a thumbs up and Jay and Hailey walked out of the room hand and hand.

***

"Where's Jay Jay?" you asked half an hour later. Adam had been teaching you how to go fast at the game. You looked up to look for Jay and you couldn't find him. And, you were starting to get worried.

"He's uh..." Adam trailed off. He wasn't about to explain sex to a little girl.

"Hey, pumpkin!" Jay exclaimed and ran up to Adam, Vanessa, and you.

Adam held back a laugh as he looked at Jay's shirt. The button was buttoned one buttonhole too high.

He leaned in to whisper in Jay's ear after he had set you back on the ground.

"Your shirt's buttoned wrong from uh...consummating the voyage," Adam whispered.

"Shit," Jay said and quickly fixed his shirt. He turned to you. "Alright, pumpkin, wanna dance with me and Hailey?"

You grabbed one of Jay's hands and one of Hailey's and made your way to the middle of the dance floor. You hoped you'd see more of Hailey when you got to New York.

***

April 14, 1912

"Your room's so pretty. The bed's so soft," you said yet again as you laid on the bed in Hailey's stateroom.

Hailey had decided to show you her room once the three of you chose a book to read.

You yawned and rubbed your eyes.

"Sleepy, love?" Hailey asked.

You nodded.

"Alright," Jay began, "I think it's bedtime for you, pumpkin. Back to our cabin we go."

"No," you whined. "Comfy here. Warm here."

"I know, I know. It's a lot better than ours," Jay said. He reached down to pick you up, but you rolled away from him. "We can't sleep here, pumpkin."

"You know," Hailey started, "she could sleep on that single bed there." She pointed across the room. "Or you and her could take my bed and I could sleep on the single."

"Hailey, we can't--"

"I insist. It's just one night."

You gasped. "I- I can't sleep without, Teddy!"

"Okay, okay," Jay said. "I'll be right back. I'll grab Teddy and I'll grab her nightgown and be right back."

"That's right. Can't change out of the suit or they won't let you back up here," Hailey said.

He quickly kissed her on the cheek. "Be right back."

***

Four hours later

You jumped awake at a loud knock on the door. Teddy was still clutched to your chest.

"It's okay, it's okay," Jay quickly reassured and sat up in bed.

Hailey jumped out of bed and answered the door.

"Life vests, miss," the steward said and handed her a life vest.

"What is the meaning of all this?" Hailey asked.

"Just a drill, miss," he replied. "Only a drill."

"Well, I will need two more life vests in that case."

"I'm sorry, miss. I thought it was only you in this stateroom."

"That's alright. It's a common mistake. My husband and my daughter are here as well. You see, they get seasick very easily so they stay in here and get dinner delivered most nights," she lied.

"Very well." He handed over two more life vests. "Again, just a precaution."

Hailey nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

Hailey walked over and handed a life vest to Jay and one to you. You got out of bed, still holding Teddy.

"Why do we need this?" you asked.

"They told us to put it on, so we listen to them," Jay said as he was tying his. "Here, I'll help you put yours on." He helped you with your life vest. While he was tying it, he looked at Hailey. "So now I'm your husband, huh?"

"Just this once," she answered with a smirk.

***

One hour later

There was another knock on the door. For the past half an hour, you had been sitting on the bed between Jay and Hailey, listening to them read you yet another story. You were scared. You didn't know why you had to wear these and Jay Jay didn't have an answer for you! You thought Jay Jay knew everything!

Hailey stood up and answered the door again.

"All of you need to put on your warmest clothes and then make your way up to the promenade deck immediately," the steward said.

"Why? It's the middle of the night and I have a young child with me who should be sleeping right now! What is the meaning of this?" Hailey asked.

"It's only a drill," he said.

"In the middle of the night?"

"Yes, miss. I'm sorry. But again, please just put on your warmest clothes and make your way up to the promenade."

Then, the steward moved on to the next door.

"I'll give Y/N one of my shawls," Hailey said and began rummaging through her closet. "Jay, I don't know--"

"I'll figure something out. Just, make sure she's warm," Jay said.

But, then he remembered what Adam said, about the cat coming out of the ship when they got on.

A bad omen.

***

"What's happenin', Jay Jay?" you asked as you clutched his coat when you walked onto the ship deck and into the frigid April air in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

"I dunno, pumpkin. But, we'll be okay." He knew that something bad was happening; the best ship to ever be built wouldn't have lifeboat drills in the middle of the night unless something was very wrong. They wouldn't want everyone to get to shore and give the Titanic and their captain and crew a bad reputation. Something was wrong.

"Sir, what's going on?" Hailey asked the nearest crew member on deck.

"Just a precautionary drill, miss," he answered. "We just wanted everyone out to practice in case something were to actually happen."

"Well, if we are treating this like the real thing," Hailey began, "then I will need someone to fetch my maid, Vanessa Rojas from third class. I gave her permission to leave for the night to go to a party down there. Please go get her for me if you'd be so kind as to do that."

"Miss, I--"

"Did I stutter? I need my maid this instant, sir! Last I checked, me and my family are first-class passengers and we are paying good money on the voyage, probably paying for your wages, as well. So, I suggest you go and get her for me this instant."

"Yes, Miss. Very well, Miss. Vanessa Rojas it was, Miss?"

"Correct."

And then the crew member was off.

Jay chuckled. "Didn't know you had it in you to be that bossy."

"Wasn't being bossy if I was trying to save a friend that your little sister has become very fond of."

"We getting Vanessa up here for the- the drills, too?" you asked as your teeth chattered despite the heavy coat you had on.

"She'll be here soon."

The lights flickered and you jumped in Jay's arms.

Jay and Hailey shared a look.

This was bad. Very bad.

***

One hour later, 12:45 am April 15, 1912

"Women and children only!" a crew member yelled. "Women and children only!"

"Take her! Take her!" Jay yelled and tried to hand you over to Hailey.

"Jay! Hailey!" Vanessa yelled as she sprinted down the deck.

"Nessa!" you yelled back.

Once she got up to Jay, she whispered in his ear, "It's bad. It's bad. Some of the third-class areas have already begun to flood."

Jay sucked in a breath and tried once more to hand you over to Hailey.

"No!" you screamed. "I wanna stay with you!"

"I know, I know," he reassured. "But, for now, I need you to go to Hailey because if- if this was real, you'd have to go with Hailey because she's a woman and you're a child."

"I'm not a child, Jay Jay!"

"I know, I know," Jay said quickly. He glanced over to the lifeboats which women and children were reluctantly getting into. "But, I need you to go with Hailey and Vanessa, alright? I'll see you soon."

"But I want you to come, too!"

"I know, I know you do, pumpkin," Jay said he held back his own tears. Tears began rolling down your cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumbs. "But for now, I need you to go with Hailey and Vanessa. Just for a little while, alright? I need you to be a big girl and a brave girl for me. Can you do that?" You nodded and allowed him to pass you over to Hailey. You clutched the collar of her coat, but your eyes were still trained on Jay. "I love you, pumpkin."

"I love you, too, Jay Jay." You blew him a kiss.

"I'll- I'll..." he took a deep, shaky breath to calm down. The last thing he wanted to do was scare you and make you worried. "I'll see you soon, alright?" He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. "I love you, pumpkin. Never, ever forget that."

"I remember," you said. "You get me Teddy, too?"

He smiled. He knew he probably wouldn't make it out of this alive, but he'd do anything to reassure you. "I'll get Teddy to you. I promise."

"Women and children!"

"Go!" Jay urged. He leaned in to whisper into Hailey's ear. "If I don't make it out of here alive, look for my brother, Dr. William Halstead in New York City. He'll take care of her."

Hailey nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek. After all, this might be the last time she'd see the man. Then, she took one more glance at Jay and grabbed Vanessa's hand. Then, they ran towards a lifeboat.

Hailey, Vanessa, and you got into the lifeboat. You clutched Hailey's dress and closed your eyes as you were lowered down into the sea.

"Hailey, Nessa, I'm scared!" you cried. "I miss Jay Jay al- already!"

"I know, Y/N. I know you do," Hailey said. "But he'll be here soon, remember?"

You nodded. But you were still scared. It was so dark in the water!

"You know," Vanessa began, "mermaids are the ones who carry us out. They help us row. They make us go faster."

"Really?" you asked excitedly. Jay had always told you stories about mermaids and maybe you'd actually get to see one tonight!

"Here," Vanessa said and handed you two candied orange peels with something in between them. You didn't know what was between them, but you liked Vanessa's candies, so you took it.

"Thank you," you said politely.

"Now, close your eyes," Vanessa instructed. "They always taste better when your eyes are closed."

You nodded and closed your eyes.

Within five minutes, your breathing evened out and you fell asleep. You hoped you'd see a mermaid when you awoke.

"What was in that?" Hailey whispered.

"Sleeping pills," Vanesa answered. "I figured if I had to go down with the ship that I'd much rather be asleep while it happened, so I pocketed the candy and sleeping pills. But, seeing as we're on a lifeboat now, I figured she might need it more."

"You're a good woman, Vanessa."

***

"Halstead!" Jay heard and quickly turned his head as he watched the lifeboat with his precious little sister go off into the dark of night and towards safety.

"Adam!" Jay yelled as he saw the man.

He ran to him.

"Where's Vanessa and your sister?" he asked.

"Already boarded a lifeboat with Hailey."

They felt the ship dip once more.

"Hate to say this, man," Adam began, "but the only way out of this is to jump. The minute this ship goes under, we get sucked under with it. We need to jump if you ever want to see your sister again."

"You're sure?" Jay asked.

"I'm positive. There are no boats left on this side. And, if there are any on the other side, they sure as hell aren't taking men."

"Right." Jay took a few steps forward.

"What's you got shoved in your trousers?" Adam asked. "I see an ear sticking out."

"Y/N asked me to grab her teddy bear and it didn't feel right lying to her. Ready?"

Adam nodded. "One..."

"Two..." Jay said.

"Three!" Adam yelled.

Then, Jay held his breath as he jumped into the frigid waters of the Atlantic.

***

Jay let out a scream as his body touched the water. It was the coldest thing he had ever felt in his life.

"Shit! Shit!" Adam yelled.

Jay took a deep breath. "We've gotta swim for it!"

"Where? We can't go to that overturned boat over there because it's gonna sink if one more person tries to get on it!"

"Any piece of furniture you can find to hang on to. And we've got to do it fast because in this water we'll freeze to death. Swim!"

They started to swim until they found two overturned deck chairs floating in the water.

"G-God," Adam stuttered. "Wish my coat was as thick as yours. Should've found me a first-class girl."

"It's not helping much," Jay answered. It wasn't. He was still chilled to the bone.

"You've gotta hang on until one of them boats comes back for ya," Adam said.

"Me? What about you?" Jay asked.

"I haven't got a great relationship with my family. You've got your sister to look after. If it comes down to one of us or the other in a lifeboat, promise me you'll take it, Jay."

"What? Adam, I can't promise that."

"Yes, you can. Now, we just try to think of anything other than the cold."

"Fat chance of that happening," Jay replied. But, he tried anyway.

It was three years ago. Your dad had died a few months ago and you had gotten ill with a fever. Jay and Will were both taking care of you at this time. Will had to go get some antibiotics and more ice since you were running low and Jay was currently sitting by your bedside, clutching your little hand. There was a wet rag on your forehead, a lame attempt to try and cool you down.

"God, kid, if you make it out of this alive, I'll do anything you want. We can go see princess castles or anything else. I don't care. But I need you to stay alive. Mom didn't die giving birth to you just so you could only live three years. C'mon, Y/N."

Will ran back into the house and into your room. "She awake yet?"

Jay shook his head.

"I've got smelling salts and antipyretics. Hopefully, the salts will wake her up, and then we'll give her the antipyretics and some water. Hopefully, those will lower her fever in a day or two."

Jay nodded and Will opened the vial of smelling salts and put them under your nose. After a few seconds, you jerked awake.

Tears formed in both your brothers' eyes.

"I'll go get her some water," Will said. He didn't want either of his younger siblings to see him cry. After all, he was the oldest, so he had to be the strongest.

"Why you cryin'?" you asked groggily when a few tears rolled down Jay's cheeks.

He let go of your hand and wiped his eyes. "I'm just so happy to see you."

"I happy see you, Jay Jay," you said back.

Jay laughed at how cute you were.

And two days later, when the fever finally broke, Jay knew he was going to take you to see a castle one day.

He just didn't know then that going to see a castle in Europe and riding back to New York on the Titanic might just cost him his life.

***

Jay was at the end and he knew it. His eyes kept feeling heavier and heavier. He had to close them. He had to...

He was seeing the light. Hopefully, death wouldn't feel so bad. He moved his numb down to his trousers and grabbed onto your teddy bear which he had put in there. At least he'd go into death holding a piece of you, despite not being able to feel it.

The light was coming closer. This was it...

"Hello? Is anybody out there? Anyone?"

What? He didn't think there'd be yelling when he got to the pearly gates of heaven.

"Anyone? Call out!"

Jay focused his eyes on the light. That's when he realized that it wasn't just a light, but a light above a lifeboat.

"Help!" he yelled with all the strength he had left. "Help!"

The lifeboat drew nearer.

"There! There's a lad right there!" one in the lifeboat said.

"Help!" he yelled again. But, he couldn't;t help but think that there should be two.

He looked over to see where Adam was.

"Help us! Help!" Jay yelled again.

He reached his hand over to try and feel for Adam's breathing. There was none.

"Grab on, lad!" An oar came in the water to the left of Jay.

"Thank you," Jay said. "May you go peacefully until we meet again," he whispered to Adam. He remembered his dad saying that to his mom when she took her dying breath and it seemed fitting to say here.

Jay grabbed onto the oar. Hands from the lifeboat reached down and pulled him into the safety of lifeboat number fourteen.

***

"Where's Jay Jay?" you asked once you awoke. You were wrapped in a blanket on the Carpathia, leaning your head against Hailey's shoulder which you had used as a pillow. You didn't remember this because you had essentially been dead to the world because of how many sleeping pills had been squished between those two candied orange peels.

"Love, I--"

"Hailey! Hailey Upton!" Jay yelled out as he raced across the deck trying to find her, Vanessa, and you. He hoped you made it out of the lifeboat and to this ship.

"Jay?" Hailey muttered. But that's impossible.

"It's Jay Jay!" you yelled. "It's Jay Jay!"

You quickly stood up and ran to him.

"You're all wet!" you exclaimed as you hugged onto his pant leg.

Jay gave Hailey a confused glance. He thought you'd be freaking out.

"I snuck some sleeping pills between two candied orange peels," Vanessa said.

Jay was glad for this because now this meant that you wouldn't remember this harrowing event that would no doubt change history forever.

"Sir here's blankets and soup," a woman said and handed him the blanket and soup.

"Thank you."

"You bring me Teddy like you promised?" you asked Jay once he sat down next to Hailey and wrapped the blanket tightly around his shoulders.

He set his soup down and reached into his trousers and pulled out your sopping wet teddy bear.

"I promised, didn't I?" he asked and handed you your bear.

Because even in the face of death, you knew that Jay Jay never broke his promises.

And, Jay never broke his promise to Adam about getting on a lifeboat to get to you, Hailey, and Vanessa. So, years later when Hailey and Jay had their first son, they named him Adam in honor of the man who convinced Jay to hold on.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this historical AU! Please remember to reblog and comment!

taglist: @theambracer88@virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07@thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88

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joonsdragoneyes · 4 years ago

Text

We’re live [Gamer!Jungkook x Reader][M]

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Warnings: Smut, profanity, semi-public sex, protected sex (reader is on birth control), mentions of reader needing reading glasses, oral m receiving, drooling, handjobs, orgasms male and female, f and m orgasm denial/edging, big dicks, body worship (kinda), tattoos/piercing's, mentions of sex in other locations, minor hair pulling, mentions of disapproving families/hiding things from parents, mentions/descriptions of reader having a large chest, reader is kind of bratty, usage of the word cock, voice kink if you squint

Genre: Smut, some angst, streamer/youtuber au, college au if you turn on a blacklight

Word count: 4.7k

Summary: You and Jungkook have been living together for a little over a year now, a big decision after your previous several years of dating. He, of course, brought his job with him- a full gaming set up, which you happily let him set up in a spare room. Your boyfriend was a pro-gamer. This job usually kept him busy, his focus on his screen rather than you for a majority of the day. You normally didn’t mind this at all, since you were usually out during that time anyway. Today, however, was different. You were home, attempting to study as he worked in order to give him the space he needed. Except, you were missing him in a way you hadn’t in a while, and the only way to get rid of this frustration would be to get him away from his work.

{A/N: This work is completely unedited, so apologies for any typos.}

----

You could hear him yelling through the door.

The laptop sitting in front of you was beginning to dim from lack of use, the loud shouts from the room a bit down the hall further ruining your already destroyed concentration. Your glasses slid down your face as you lifted, the feeling causing you to pull them off. Flopping tiredly against the back of the chair, you took one final look at the multiple windows you had open on the screen as the screen finally went black, leaving you with nothing but your reflection on the screen. Your hair was messily tied back, strands and chunks falling around everywhere from where they escaped from your hair tie. You looked away from the sight of your own face, burying your face in your hands as your elbows came to rest on the shiny, hardwood table; you slamming the device shut as your hand lowered, your fingers pulling the skin down along with it. You sighed in frustration, letting your head flop back against the chair as you slid down, your butt now hanging off of the seat.

His voice practically bounced off the walls, each full-concentration shout of sudden frustration ringing through the house. Each time caught your attention, snatching you quickly from your exhausted daze. He seemed to be having fun in-between moments of what you assumed was either interacting with the chat or moments where it sounded like he lost- or rather, almost lost. You could already hear him coming out in a few hours, bragging about he remained undefeated in a game you couldn't remember the name of, a large, bright grin present on his face, his own pulled back hair messily sprawled in every possible direction.

You sometimes watched his streams and videos while you worked, at least you used to. It always ruined your concentration when you did, as it was now, but they were admittedly entertaining. He never knew you did, you showed little interest in his job, and you'd rather keep it that way.

Sitting up, you lifted your hands to adjust the straps dangling uncomfortably down your shoulders, adjusting the rest of your top in the process, pulling it up from where it slid down, at this point revealing almost everything. It appeared to have shrunk given how tight it was and how easily it slid down, but it wasn't like it would be anything your boyfriend hadn't seen before in the instance you failed to notice and flashed him. The tank top you had on usually did well with covering everything, but knowing that lately, for some reason, it wasn't, made you frown. It was comfortable and nice to wear around the house; you just felt irritated adjusting it constantly.

You stood up, moving toward the various loud sounds coming from the room. The door clicked as you turned the knob, pushing the large wooden object open, the many lights strung on the walls greeting you as you stepped inside the large room. The whiteboard he had hanging on the wall was full of writing and multiple expressive doodles- a few piles on the floor from a few other random activities. It was dark aside from the many lights hanging from the walls and ceiling, your boyfriend well illuminated by the glow from the multiple monitors sprawled in front of him.

Turning to face him fully, you closed the door behind you, leaning against it for a moment as you paused. He hadn't noticed you yet. You felt odd about walking in like this. You had never interrupted him while he was working unless he needed something, in which case he usually just came to get you. You honestly didn't even know if any of his fanbase knew he was in a relationship at all-; you both usually just kept to yourselves. Aside from him eventually coming upstairs to meet you in bed to sleep, coming out to eat, or the occasional 'date'- which was just running errands together or him coming with you to watch a movie you were pretty much already leaving for- you both didn't really spend a lot of time together. At least you hadn't recently.

The sight of his wide eyes and pouty expression made your heart melt, and you couldn't help but smile. He was sitting in his much-bigger-than-him gaming chair, his legs crossed with his knees near his chest as he leaned forward, his expression serious despite the generally cute nature of everything else about him. His way too big shirt swallowed him easily, and it was only at this moment that you realized he had borrowed one of your hair-ties. The pale purple band was more than familiar, and there it was, tightly holding his long black hair neatly in place.

"Jungkook-" You started as you moved close, his head instantly lifting in order to meet you, his serious expression quickly growing soft. He seemed a little confused seeing you in here but still happy about it nonetheless.

You suddenly panicked slightly, watching the screen nervously in the hope you didn't appear in the camera too much, mostly attempting to keep your face out of frame. Gently, you leaned against the back of the chair, his teeth quickly appearing in a wide, excited grin. "Do you need anything?" He asked, his bright, wide eyes meeting yours. You could feel the excitement radiating from him, his lips and cheeks pink in the light from the lamp as he spoke. "Just missed you." You admitted, crossing your arms against the back of the chair as you leaned slightly forward.

The chat on one of the monitors suddenly sped up, you noticing it from the corner of your eyes. A loud mix of emotes and words in all caps filled the screen, zooming by before you could read any of them. You watched Jungkook slide his headphones off, letting them rest on his neck as his legs uncrossed, his socked feet flopping against the carpet. "Here, you can sit with me and watch." He chirped, quickly pausing whatever game he was playing and scooting over to make as much room as he could. You shook your head.

"No, I..." You trailed off, pouting a bit as you lift your arms, moving your hands around your face in a way you hoped emphasized your unwillingness to be on camera. You knew they could see your body just fine, but you were on your computer all day and hadn't slept well, so showing your face was definitely out of the equation. Jungkook simply let his head fall slightly to the side in confusion, letting out a small "But you look fine.".

You pouted, watching as he quickly stood up, the chair rocking slightly as he slid out of it. "Here, I know just the thing." He quickly shuffled near the back of the room and over to the closet doors, pulling them open. You watched quietly as he began to shuffle through a box, the already present pout on your face growing stronger. You recognized that box. That box was from your senior prom. You already knew what he was looking for.

He quickly pulled out a black mask, the very one you had worn years ago. Why he had kept it this long, you didn't know, but you still found yourself sighing as you realized it would still work. You didn't really want to remember that masquerade themed prom, especially considering neither you nor Jungkook had fun during a majority of it. It had its moments, but you had hoped you wouldn't have to go near that specific costume again.

"Sorry, it's all I've got." He whispered, gently placing it in your not-very-eagerly awaiting hands. Taking a deep breath, you slid the mask onto your face as Jungkook scoot past, flopping once again into the large chair, his voice loudly sounding as he began to interact with the apparently very excited chat.

Once again adjusting your top, you moved over to where your boyfriend was sitting, plopping down next to him as one of his muscular arms wrapped around your waist as you settled against him, your thighs touching. You shuffled, wrapping your arm around his waist as well, your legs bouncing from where they hung off the seat as Jungkook pulled the chair forward. You felt the tension in your crossed legs relax as you realized you'd only be seen from slightly above your waist.

His hand slid around you, grabbing onto the controller resting on his thighs. Your arms flopped to the side, resting against your boyfriend's thighs in an attempt to keep them out of the way. Your fingers gripped tightly onto his sweatpants, your head coming to rest gently on his shoulder. Jungkook grinned, his teeth shining through his lips the more comfortable you became.

You could feel his voice vibrating against you as he spoke, the sound making you feel warm inside, a soft tingle running from your head to your thighs. "What're you playing?" You questioned, leaning against his strong shoulder, enjoying his warmth. His face slowly contorted slightly in thought, a pout forming on his lips as he noticeably racked his brain for the answer. "Astrotech." He finally responded, his expression moving quickly back to the way it was, his cheeks noticeably a bit pink.

Various loud booms and screeches flooded from the headphones around his neck, which he had turned up for you to hear. You didn't know what was going on it, but the sight of him expertly doing whatever objectives or maneuvering the obstacles in the game was somewhat fascinating to you.

He suddenly squirmed under you as you adjusted yourself, the sudden movement surprising until you realized your hand had just accidentally rubbed along his thigh in the process. Your lips pressed together in thought, realizing just how sensitive he seemed to be. Deciding to see if that was truly why, you cautiously ran your hand along his thighs, feeling him once again squirm under you. The barely audible groan of protest as you slightly ruined his concentration made something in your brain just click.

You knew why you were so distracted earlier.

Slowly, your hand moved along his leg before sliding inwards towards the warmth where they met. Before he could squirm again, you gave a soft squeeze to his strong thighs, enjoying the slightly surprised noise that escaped. He seemed annoyed that you were attempting to distract him, but his lack of any indication for you to stop or any sort of 'no' from him gave you the willingness to continue.

Your hands moved further up, sliding along the space between his legs and up towards his stomach. He had stopped moving aside from the slight tremble of his thighs as you made your way along. His legs slightly parted, allowing you to continue on your way, the outline of the package you were searching for soon starting to appear in his sweat pants. You licked your lips gently, tracing the outline with your fingers, enjoying the sighs you heard from his weak attempts to keep quiet.

"Alright, well, I guess I'll see you when you're done." You suddenly spoke. "I just came to visit because I missed you, but you seem pretty busy with work." You added, pulling your hand away as you stood, sliding out of the chair as you moved quickly towards the door. Thoughts ran through your brain as your hand grabbed the doorknob, opening it before gently shutting it immediately after. You turned to look at your boyfriend still sat behind you, biting your bottom lip in thought.

Slowly and quietly, you dropped down to your knees, crawling on the ground over to the desk as you swiftly slid under it. Leaning forward, you grabbed the tops of his pants, slowly pulling them down as you felt your eyes grow wide at the sight. You had seen it before, but it was still a pleasant surprise each time.

Your hands moved along his legs, swiftly grabbing the still mostly soft length, pumping them quickly as Jungkook once again squirmed under you, his legs spreading. You could feel him continuously growing under you as you moved, the sight and feeling causing your thighs to tingle.

Licking your lips, you moved forward, licking the tip of his eagerly awaiting cock, listening as he tried to stifle a pleased hum. Before he could fully react, you took the full length in your mouth before sliding down, bobbing your head with vigor, enjoying the soft noises that escaped as a result of your movements. Your hands continued to slide quickly, making up for what you couldn't reach.

Your boyfriend sighed above you, doing his very best to act as normal as he possibly could. The soft clicking and tapping from his controller continued, you only drooling as your head continued to lower, taking in as much of the steadily hardening length as you possibly could. Pawing at him for the bit you had the chance to seemed to work, not quite in the way you had hoped, but you were fixing that just fine. A soft slurp sounded as you suddenly lifted your head, the noise causing you to pause as you hoped no one had heard the sinful action going on under the desk. The conversation between him and the on-going chat seemed to be normal despite his occasional deep sighs. His fingers ran through your hair, giving a slight tug as you continued, closing your eyes as you attempted to savor the moment- still being careful to make as little noise as possible.

A sharp tug to your thick hair pulled you upwards, your breasts practically in his lap as your arms lifted, grabbing onto his thick black hoodie in an attempt to keep yourself steady. You hummed a bit in surprise, the action causing his strong hands to increase their grip on you as your head only continued to bob. He was gasping now. Loud pings and sound effects rang from the screen from what you assumed was possibly the hundredth donation of the night. You increased your speed, enjoying the strong but more gentle tug that followed with each movement of your salivating mouth.

You were only wondering how he was managing to hide this so well.

Your gaze slowly moved upwards, checking his expression. His face was flushed, his teeth on display as he bit his lower lip in a last attempt to keep quiet. His expression was otherwise unchanged aside from his noticeably dilated pupils, his face still stern with concentration.

With a loud pop, you finally pulled away, quickly using your knuckles to wipe away the strand of saliva that followed. Swiftly pulling his pants back up, you shuffled from under the desk and over to the door. That would be enough for now. After all, you didn't actually want to get caught.

You could feel him watching you as you stood up and quietly opened the door. How upset he was that you didn't finish could be felt from where you stood, but you knew he'd get you back later. He always did. It didn't matter if you just ate his food or if you pulled a small prank, he always got you back, and this time you could say you looked forward to it.

---

The door flew open with a loud bang, you jumping with surprise at the sound, nearly dropping your phone in the process. Your head lifted to meet the sight of your boyfriend standing in the doorway, his hair messy as he loomed over you. "What was that about?" He questioned, his eyes darting to take in your form.

"What was what about?"

"You know what."

You felt your cheeks warm but decided to continue pretending you didn't have a clue what he meant. "No, Jungkook, I don't know what."

His lips pressed together, his eyes narrowing. He stepped forward, closing the door behind him, a soft click sounding as he slowly locked it. You watched quietly, biting your lip as you knew what would happen next. He wasn't usually this quiet.

"Thankfully, I was able to continue normally without much issue." He plopped on the bed next to you, the weight of his larger form causing the mattress to sink under him. The force was almost enough to cause you to slide along with it.

"But you must think I'm a fool if you think you'll get away with sneaking under the desk like that."

By then, he had leaned close, his voice low as he spoke. His tattoos could be seen poking from under the dropped neck of his shirt, your eyes slipping down the closer he leaned. You flopped forward, your gaze meeting his as your hands came to rest on top of his own. "And what are you gonna do about it?" You teased. This wouldn't at all be your first time with each other, and it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"You're not even ready. I could hear you taking care of it yourself before you came up; you're not as quiet as you think."

His hand lifted quietly, curling under your chin as he held your head still. "Alright, smartie, what're you gonna do about that?"

"You're usually the horndog in this situation. What am I gonna do about it?"

You were suddenly shoved against the bed below, the thick blanket warm under your body. He placed a soft kiss on your lips, his hair draping around his face as he leaned over you. "You'll have to wait to find out, huh?"

"Damn, you must really be upset." You teased without even a second of hesitation. "Man, I really wonder what you'll do. Oh, how long must I wait? Forever? Years; Centuries of waiting just to punished in the end! Just end me, as waiting is its own punishment." You whined dramatically under him, your arms lifting as your hand sprawled against your forehead, your eyes closing as your head flopped back in exasperation against the mattress below.

Jungkook laughed. "No, you won't have to wait very long. You know I wouldn't do that to you." He grinned, his teeth bright and shiny behind his lips. "Remember when we were younger, and I still lived with my parents, and you came over to study?" He asked, his noticeably strong hands trailing over your body, their attention quickly focused on your chest. You opened your mouth to speak, only to get interrupted as he continued.

"We waited until they left to run some errands, and we decided to try and be super quick." He paused to laugh to himself, you barely listening as you bit your lip, your nipples beginning to poke through the fabric his hands continued to glide over. "We started getting way too loud near the end and almost got caught because we didn't hear them pull in. The only reason we were able to clean up and everything was because you happened to finish before they walked in and could hear what we were doing. Man, what an adrenaline rush that one minute was as we scrambled around listening to them slowly come up the stairs."

By then, you were moaning under him, the fabric rough against your extremely sensitive chest. His strong fingers continued running along, teasing the hardened nubs as he moved on with another story, seemingly unaware of what he was doing. His hands snuck under your shirt, his hands warm as he grabbed as much of your breasts in his large hands as he could. "Sorry, I was talking." He apologized, taking the moment before you responded to swiftly yank your shirt over your head.

In your moment of distraction, you had become so hot and bothered that you hadn’t even noticed how long he had been rambling. You could hardly hear his reminiscing over your increasingly more desperate moans. The feeling of the cold air hitting your already erect nipples made you squirm slightly, you only coming back to reality to a soft warmth on your neck. Your hands lifted, gripping with white knuckles tightly onto his thick hoodie.

You lowered your gaze, the sight of his face resting on your chest greeting you. His hair messily covered his eyes, the deep brown underneath shining in the light of your bedroom. His lips were pressed softly together into a pout, his tattooed arms lifted to lay across your shoulders, wrapping under your head. “You’re not paying attention!” He whined, continuing to pout as he shuffled to lean over you, the mattress squeaking ever so slightly as his knees rested on the bed.

He paused to pull the thick fabric free from his body, letting it thump to the ground as he leaned over you once again, the thick ink on his arms dancing as his muscles flexed in the process. Your eyes widened as his face approached yours, your noses quickly touching, the pout still present. “You didn’t hear my story.” He whined again, softer this time, the shine still present in his wide eyes despite the shadow he was casting over you. “You weren’t even listening.”

“Honey, you were rambling.” You responded, hoping he couldn’t feel your racing heart. He flopped down, his hips straddling your own as he sat up, his strong arms causing the bed to sink in as he continued to lean over you, your thighs tingling at the slight bounce that followed as he grew comfortable on your hips.

“I was telling a story.”

He lowered himself, his lips coming into contact with your own, your hands lifting to grab on the thin white t-shirt that remained. His teeth ran softly over your lips as he pulled away, his hands once again moving to slide under your head. Your thighs burned and tingled with each movement he made.

You were beginning to sweat as you continued gripping him tightly, your hips wiggling to wrap your legs around him. His lips once again moved into a pout, the shine is his eyes disappearing as his head came to rest on your chest once again. He definitely felt you move.

His legs slid around you, his knees moving under your hips to lift them up, pressing his now noticeably tight sweatpants against your shorts. He once again lowered to kiss you, more gentle this time as his hands lowered to remove his sweat pants, leaving nothing between you but your shorts- which already barely covered anything. Your own hands lowered, grabbing onto the hard length poking between your legs, pumping slowly as he sighed into the kiss. Your shoulders ached as his hands pressed against your shoulders, pressing you into the mattress. You sped up your wrist movements, listening as he groaned into the continued kiss.

Suddenly, his hands shot down, levering your legs open and lifting his hips to practically rip your shorts free of your body as he finally broke the kiss. His legs slipped off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thud, swiftly yanking you close to the edge. His fully flexed arms caged you in, his lips coming into contact with your exposed neck, his breathing soft and warm against your skin.

“Roll over.” He huffed, moving to kiss along your chest and shoulders. His face was now a soft pink, lifting to watch you intently as you rolled onto your stomach, letting out a noise of surprise as you were yanked yet further off of the bed, your feet now touching the floor. Kisses once again returned to your neck, an occasional moment of cold causing you to shiver with delight as his tongue traced over your warm skin with each mark he left behind. Your still erect nipples dragged softly over the sheets under you, the cool mixture of the sheets and his tongue piercing causing you to moan loudly under him.

Your face slammed softly against the mattress below, his strong arms pressing against your shoulders to hold you in place, your hips lifting in the process. Of all the times you’ve done this, he wasn’t usually this rough, but you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t exciting.

“Fu-” You moaned, burying your face in the mattress at the stretch that followed. “-ck.” Your hands gripped onto the sheets, the feeling of his teeth and tongue reaching every inch of your neck making you whimper. He had always been taller, but it wasn’t until now that you realized just how much stronger- and bigger than you he was. You could hardly move with the grip he had on your shoulders, your head the only thing able to move freely. He had you where he wanted you, and it’d probably be a while before he’d free you.

Each thrust ruined your hopes of being quiet, drool beginning to fall from your lips as he continued- each thrust more intense than the last. Your eyes were soon rolled back, your mouth open as saliva dripped from your parted lips, the sharp tugs to your hair adding to the overall ache. Your legs, hips and shoulders were growing more pained with each lewd slam into you, each second bringing you closer to the edge. You were silent, the ache taking your breath away, a loud gasp escaping as he freed your shoulders, yanking you upright by your hair.

His arms wrapped under your chest, freeing you from the bed entirely as he held you in place, your arms contorting behind you to hold onto his now moist t-shirt. You were trembling, your chest burning as you gasped for air. “Jungkook...” You managed, your voice hoarse as your head flopped backwards against his muscular shoulders. You could feel the mess you were already making in your excitement, awaiting the finish you were mere seconds away from, only to groan as you felt him stop, your chest bouncing as he adjusted you.

“No...” You whined in complaint, taking the time to catch your breath only to catch yourself moaning with each exhale. You continued shaking as he kissed along the back of your shoulders. “Don’t stop...” You continued, wiggling your legs slightly to get him to continue. He groaned with your wiggles, grabbing your thighs to keep you in place. “Stop moving.” His voice was soft and gentle, your head rolling around on his shoulder as he placed another kiss on your aching neck.

“You’re so pretty.” He complimented, letting you fall forward with your hands hitting the mattress, his arms firmly gripping your thighs to stop your hips from moving from their position. The little eyeliner you had on had started to run, your hands gripping the sheets in anticipation as you wondered what about you with messy makeup was pretty.

You cried out, your voice still hoarse as the edge approached faster than before. After a minute you were trembling under him again, the ache returning as you tipped closer and closer to the edge. You were reduced to a shaking, squealing, moaning mess in a little over a minute, your legs struggling to hold onto him as they shook.

Your face once again slammed into the mattress, a loud groan felt against your back as his hips sputtered slightly, his large hands grabbing onto your hair once again as he attempted to keep himself steady as he finally tipped over the edge. His breaths were rough and quick against your back, you too busy attempting to catch your own breath to notice his hands had lowered.

You gasped, pleasure coursing through you once again as his fingers moved with renewed vigor. “Ju-Jungkoo-” You pleaded, struggling to even get his name out as his strong hands made quick work of your clit, you finally reaching your release with a sudden, violent shake. He pulled away, the emptiness that followed allowing you to fully fall against the bed, your legs weak as you attempted to stand. His arms wrapped around you, gently laying you down.

“Too much?” He questioned, taking in your exhausted form, his voice dripping with concern. His eyes widened slightly at the black smeared along your cheeks, pouting as he gently wiped it off, not seeming to notice his still wet fingers. “Too much.” He lowered to place a gentle kiss on your forehead, running his fingers through your messy hair. “Definitely too much.”

---

[A/N: Sorry that this came out so much later than I promised. Hopefully it was worth the wait.]

#bts #bts jungkook #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #gamer jungkook #jungkook au

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ponderinqs · 3 years ago

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Pushed Away || JJ Maybank

pairing: jj x reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of abuse, underage drinking, angst, gun usage, SLOW BURN!!!

word count: 3.3k

summary: you’re best friends with jj, but something happens one day, leaving you and the rest of the group confused and worried about him. what happened to him? did you do something to hurt him? or maybe, there’s something rather... emotional going on inside him. something he’s never felt for anyone before in his life.

a/n: here’s me apologizing for not posting this WAYYY sooner. listen,, i got huge writers block for a very long time, and i wasn’t feeling up to anything obx. but now that season 2 has come out, and the fact that i’m at the beach right now (approximately 2 hours away from where they film outer banks), i finally have some motivation to write. soooo yeahhhh. hope you enjoy LMFAOOO. also, read the other parts if u haven’t already!

unedited. please excuse any typos :)

comment if you want tagged !! :)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

—————————

It’s been about four days since your friends found out about your past. A week since you spoke to any of them.

When you came home that night after seeing Rafe, you and your mother got into a screaming fit over how she needs to stop trying to change you back to who you used to be.

“You don’t get to tell me who I am! I get to choose that!” You yelled, finger pointed at your mother.

“Excuse me?! I am your mother! I can do whatever I need to do to get you to stop turning into someone you’re not!” Now your mother was screaming at you, probably waking the neighbors.

“Life was better when dad was here! Now you’re just a pathetic excuse as a mother!!” You felt regretful for the words that left your mouth, but in the heat of the moment, it felt like the right thing to do.

You felt a hand come across your cheek. “You don’t get to talk to me like that, young lady!”

She left the house shortly after you two fought. Your mother has been gone for a few days, which left you holed up in your room, alone, letting the nasty thoughts fog your brain.

You groaned as you got out of your bed, trudging to the bathroom to see how awful you looked. Your hair was disheveled and you looked like absolute shit. “God…” You whispered, letting your fingers graze your cheek. You winced as you felt a slight sting from the movement. It was still sore, and even if there wasn’t much of a mark anymore, you could still see a slight red tint to it.

You finally decided it was time to leave the house. The sun was beginning to set, but you didn’t want to be holed up in your house for another day. After cleaning up and looking somewhat normal, you walked downstairs and went to open the door, but someone was at the door, just about to knock. It was Pope, looking frantic and scared.

“Y/N! Hi!” He pulled you into a quick hug. “You gotta come quick, there’s something wrong with JJ.” He looked at you, scanning your face for any response, when he saw the slightly reddened cheek mark.

“Who did that?” He spoke softly, his finger touching the mark lightly. “My mother.” You sighed. You didn’t feel like worrying everyone, but it was already happening.

“We can talk about this later, okay? But c'mon, we gotta go.” He nudged his head to his car as the both of you made your way over to the car.

“Is he okay? What’s wrong with him?” You spoke after a few minutes of pure silence while Pope drove. “I really don’t know. He went back home last night and something must’ve happened there. You’re like the only one that can get him to calm down.” He smiled at you as he pulled into the Chateau.

You both got out and walked towards the front, where JJ was seen pacing back and forth, Kiara and John B just watching him. They both saw you and stared, not saying a word.

JJ turned around and saw you, the two of you making eye contact. He stopped pacing, and you saw the sun shine through his beautiful hair, but you also noticed more cuts and bruises scattered around his pretty face.

You approached him with caution, looking into his ocean blue eyes the entire time. The two of you didn’t speak any words, but somehow you still calmed JJ down. You grabbed both of his arms as you looked at his face, examining each and every cut and bruise.

Instead of speaking, you hugged him. You wrapped your arms around his torso tightly, resting your head on his chest. He was hesitant at first, but he also wrapped his arms around your waist, burying his head in your neck.

You felt wetness on your skin, making you hug him even tighter. JJ let out a choked sob, still holding onto you as if you were the only thing keeping him from completely losing it. You stroked his back, your eyes watering as you listened to him cry into you.

“I can’t do it.” He mumbled into your neck in between sobs. Your heart broke for what felt like the hundredth time this week. And again, you couldn’t do anything to help him, which made you feel helpless. All you could do was stand here and hug your best friend, hoping something would make everything stop hurting.

JJ went limp in your arms as the two of you fell to the ground, JJ covering his face with his hands and he continued to cry. “JJ..” You whispered softly, grabbing him and holding him to your chest. You ran your hand through his hair a few times, trying to get him to calm down.

You looked around at the other Pogue members, signaling that they need to give you two a minute. They understood and nodded, walking into the Chateau and closing the door behind them.

After they were gone, you moved JJ away from you as you pulled his hands away from his face. Your foreheads rested against each other’s, the two of you not daring to break eye contact.

His eyes were red and puffy, tears still streaming down his face. He looked at you with his sad eyes as you felt raindrops beginning to fall on the top of your head.

Soon it was beginning to rain even harder, but the two of you just sat outside, staring at each other and not speaking a word. “I can’t deal with him anymore..” JJ’s voice cracked at the end, letting out another choked sob.

You cupped his face with your hands, kissing his forehead lightly. As you pulled his face away, he noticed the faint cheek mark on your face. “Who.. who did that?” He said quietly, his hand coming up to touch it.

Shivers went down your spine as you felt his touch, along with a slight sting. “Shit.” You hissed, looking down at the ground.

“It was your mother, wasn’t it?” He moved his dripping wet hair out of his face, looking into your eyes.

You nodded slowly right as a bolt of lightning cracked in the air. Thunder boomed through the atmosphere within seconds, and the two of you shared the same look. “Let’s go inside, okay?” You grabbed his hand and helped him stand as the two of you went inside.

The three friends looked up at the sound of the door closing, seeing the both of you drenched with your hands still intertwined.

You squeezed his hand, leading him to the extra bedroom. You watched the fragile boy lie down on the bed, turning his back to you.

You turned around and went back out to the rest of your friends. “Um, we’re gonna stay here tonight.” You shuffled your feet.

“Everyone is staying here. The hurricane is coming through right now.” John B sat on one of the couches, finally looking up at you.

You nodded. “He’s gonna be okay, Y/N. Just give him time.” Kiara looked up at you, giving you a slight smile.

You sighed and made your way to the bathroom and grabbed a few towels before you returned to the extra room, seeing JJ in the same position that he was in when you left him.

“Hey, I got some towels so we can dry off.” You got onto the bed and set the towels in front of you. JJ turned around and sat up, grabbing a towel and drying off his hair.

“Do you have extra clothes here?” You asked, and JJ just simply nodded, pointing to the worn down dresser across from the bed. You stood up and walked over, opening it and finding some random clothes for you and JJ.

You tossed JJ a random marina shirt, and a pair of shorts. You found a blue shirt and some sweats, and put them onto the bed. “Well, close your eyes.” You grinned at him, and JJ smirked before covering his eyes with his hand.

You stripped from your wet shirt and tossed it to the corner of the room, making a note to wash it tomorrow. When you looked at JJ, he was peeking out of his hand. “Maybank!!” You giggled as you hurriedly put the shirt on.

“Well, I like the view.” He commented, making the heat rise up to your cheeks. You shook your head and pulled off the drenched pants you had on, rushing to put on the sweatpants.

“Keep em off.” He smirked, his hands now completely away from his eyes. “Oh, shut up.” You finished changing and got into bed, JJ now getting up and changing. “Do I need to close my eyes?” You spoke as if you were a little child.

“That’s up to you.” He smirked again. You decided not to as you watched him slowly peel his wet shirt off of his body.

Without realizing it, you were biting your lip and staring at his defined torso. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” JJ laughed, pulling the dry shirt onto him and then taking off his drenched shorts.

Seeing JJ in his boxers was something you never thought you would witness, but I guess it had to happen sometime, right? He slid on his shorts and got back into bed.

Rain pattered against the window, along with the occasional lightning strikes and thunder. The two of you sat in the darkness for what felt like hours.

“Why did your mother slap you?” JJ spoke, the air thick with something you couldn’t quite explain.

“I called her a pathetic excuse for a mother. So she slapped me. Then she left.” You turned to face JJ, your faces inches away from each other.

“Why didn’t you come to see us? You were gone for a long time, or at least a long to the three of us. We were all scared and confused.” JJ’s hand moved to rest on your cheek, staring at you. Even in total darkness, he could make out your features.

“I didn’t want to. I thought you guys hated me.” You relaxed into his touch, sighing.

“We don’t hate you, Y/N. We are all just a little disappointed that you never told us.” He moved a piece of your hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

The tension was thick, and it scared you. You’ve never been this vulnerable to each other. JJ never let his guard down, and neither did you. The time you shared outside was something that has never happened before.

“Do you feel better?” You spoke softly, wondering if that was the right thing to say. You didn’t know if you were overstepping any boundaries the two of you had. A lightning bolt lit up the sky, followed by a large boom of thunder as JJ began to talk.

“Yeah.. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” He shrugged it off and pulled the thin blanket up to his chest. You gave him a confused look. “JJ, I will always worry about you. That’s what friends do. We always look after each other and make sure the other one is okay.” You scooted yourself closer to him. You felt him shiver as your arm grazed his.

“Just don’t bother worrying about me, okay? I’ll survive.” His finger reached up to his face to touch the multiple cuts and bruises on his face. You heard him wince as the wind picked up outside.

Rain began rapidly pattering against the window, wind shaking the trees and scraping up against the side of the shack.

“JJ look.. I’m sorry for going full ghost on you guys for that long. I should’ve let you all know that I was okay.” You whispered, your hand resting on his shoulder as you laid your side to look at him.

“Nah I get it. I do it too.” JJ shrugged. You stared into his blue eyes, trying to figure out what was going on inside of that beautiful brain of his. He was too focused on the storm outside to realize that you were staring at him. When he finally made eye contact with you, your heart seemed to have skipped a beat.

“What?” He asked, his voice soft and caring. “Nothing.” You mumbled and laid down, getting comfortable with your pillow and the blanket you were currently sharing with JJ.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” JJ said before he turned on his side and tried to fall asleep. You were facing his back, your eyes glued to him. Slowly but surely your eyes closed and you both fell asleep to the sound of the wind and rain outside.

When you opened your eyes the next morning, you felt a heavy weight on your chest. Looking down, you saw JJ sleeping on you, his hand draped across your stomach with soft snores emitting from his mouth. You smiled and brushed some hair out of his face. You inspected his small cuts and bruises on his face, your index finger grazing each and every one of them.

Soon JJ’s eyes peeled open and he looked up at you. “What are you doing?” He mumbled, his eyes darting to your lips and then back up to your eyes.

“Oh, nothing. Good morning.” You replied, moving your finger away from his face. JJ rolled himself off of you and got out of bed, mumbling a ‘good morning’ before he exited the room and went to find the others. You followed him shortly after, finding no one in the living room.

“Uh.. guys?” JJ questioned, walking around the small boat house as he tried to find his friends. You then spotted John B outside, along with Kiara and Pope. “JJ, they’re outside.” You spoke before walking outside.

You looked around at the damage the hurricane had caused. Branches and twigs were scattered around the yard, along with a lot of random debris covering most of the grass. “Holy shit. She really did a number.” JJ admitted, walking around the yard, stepping on some twigs and picking random stuff up.

“Yeah, no kidding.” John B replied, his hands on his hips as he looked around at all the damage.

Surprisingly, the Chateau didn’t take much damage. You had noticed a bucket sitting on the floor earlier, so there must be a leak. Other than that, there wasn’t much else that needed repairing.

Suddenly, your phone in your pocket started to ring. Grabbing it, you saw the caller ID and it showed that it was your mom. “You have to be kidding me.” You muttered under your breath.

Catching your friends’ attention, they all turned to look at you. “Your mom?” Pope asked, wincing to himself once you nodded.

You answered the call and put your phone up to your ear. “Y/F/N Y/L/N, what in the hell do you think you’re doing?!” She screamed through the phone.

“What do you mean?” You kept your voice calm and controlled, because you knew if you raised your voice this phone call would be a lot worse than it already is.

“Leaving the house when I’m not there?! Doing god knows what with those low life’s?!” Your mom responded through the phone, her voice getting increasingly louder by the second.

“First of all, you left me!! What the hell was I supposed to do holed up in that house?! And I have told you this time and time again, they are not low lifes!” You retaliated back, making sure that your mom knew that she was in the wrong.

“That’s what you think.” She responded flatly. You just scoffed. “You make me sick, mom. You really do.” You responded, beginning to walk around in circles.

“You need to come back home. I mean it.” Your mom responded sternly. She could do anything, but nothing would tear you away from your real family.

“No. I am not coming back home for a while.” You shook your head, making eye contact with Kie.

“Excuse me? Yes you are. I will send the cops after you if I have to.” She responded, now raising her voice yet again.

“I cannot believe how disrespectful you are right now, mom. No, I am not coming home. You have given me so many reasons to not come home. I am going to stay here where I am more loved. Fuck off.” You yelled and ended the call, not caring about what she had to respond with.

“God, Y/N, I am so sorry you have to deal with her. That’s horrible.” Kiara walked up to you and gave you a hug. You hugged her back, resting your head on her shoulder.

The rest of the Pogues soon surrounded you and hugged you. You smiled as everyone hugged you.

About 30 minutes later, everyone was standing around a large fire that had started to burn all the twigs and branches scattered across the yard, when a Range Rover pulled up next to John B’s van.

You were not surprised when you saw Rafe get out of the car. “Oh hell no..” John B scoffed, walking over to Rafe.

“John B.. John B. Relax. I’m just here for Y/N.” Rafe smirked as he looked over at you, holding his hand out to stop John B.

“Rafe. Get out of here.” You told him, staying near JJ just in case he tries to do something.

“I got you, I got you.” JJ whispered in your ear, placing his hands on your hips as he held you close.

“It was your mom again.” Rafe’s voice got louder as he started to walk closer to you.

“I don’t care about her. Now leave.” Your heartbeat began to rise as he got closer and closer.

“Nah, I don’t think I will do that.” Rafe was now four feet in front of you.

“Hey, buddy, back it up!!” JJ yelled, staring at Rafe to make sure he doesn’t make any sudden movements.

“Aw look, you have a bodyguard. How adorable. You know, Y/N, me and you had history. I used to be your bodyguard. Isn’t that right?” Rafe smirked at you.

Before anyone could react, Rafe grabbed you by the arm and pulled you towards him. He held you close to his back, his arm locked across your chest.

“You dickhead!” JJ screamed and ran over to grab you.

Suddenly, Rafe pulled out a gun, causing everyone to stop in their tracks.

He clocked the gun at you, the barrel sitting right on your head. You gasped, tears trickling down your face.

“Tell them, Y/N. Tell them what we were.” Rafe said, smirking as he looked around at the group.

“Put down the gun and I will!!” You yelled, only causing Rafe to push the gun onto your head more. You let out a yell.

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I think you just better tell them now.” Rafe looked down at you, smirking.

“Me and Rafe,” you sniffled, looking down at the ground. “we had.. history. More than what I have told you. We… we dated.” You let out a choked sob.

Rafe slowly moved the gun away from your head. “See? Wasn’t so hard, was it?” He grinned, stilling holding you close to his body.

All of the Pogues looked at you in disbelief. You couldn’t even find it in you to look at JJ.

“Cmon, Y/N. Let’s go.” Rafe gave your friends a little wave before he walked over to his car with you and shoved you into the passenger seat.

You were unable to fight him. You gave up, just staring at the floor of the car.

As Rafe started the car up, your friends started to run after you. Rafe quickly backed up out of his spot and peeled away. The last thing you saw out of the passenger side window was JJ, looking scared and very upset.

#jj #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jjmaybank x reader #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fluff #outer banks netflix #john b routledge #john b #pope heyward

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let-it-show · 2 years ago

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Just Be

A little thing, a sweet thing, where Elsa is being reminded she doesn’t need to exhaust and push herself to be loved and accepted. Anna always knows what to say and how to say it - for the most part. It’s unedited so apologies for any typos! **~~~*****~~~~ She could do so much that at times, she was sure she appeared unstoppable. Rain would fall from the sky, and Elsa would make an umbrella of ice. An icebox broke, and she could replace it to keep the goods inside from spoiling. Children wanted giant ice playgrounds and she could conjure them up with giant waves of her hands with a twinkle in her eye. The heat came in suddenly, and it struck with a force. The weight of the air brought great difficulty anytime anyone tried to get to their feet. Simply walking down the lovely streets of Arendelle was a sweaty endeavor, and many families sought the cool shade of the surrounding forests and rocky cliffs. Not everyone could do so, however – work still needed to be done, whether it was repairs on homes, the feeding of livestock, or the making of delicious chocolates while also preventing the immediate melting of said chocolates.

And so, Elsa was put to task again, despite the reminders from her fellow queen and sister to be careful. She smiled at Kristoff's offers to bring greater ice deliveries from the mountains and an overall push to harvest more blocks. Sven would pick up the reigns for the sled in his mouth, but Elsa could have none of it. Putting her friends to harder work in the dire heat was off the table. “I will use my powers to help our people, as I always do. I must,” Elsa claimed as she had left the great hall. “Don't push yourself, Elsa!” Anna urged. “You can only do what you can do. Our people love you whether or not you have powers,” Anna reminded her. Elsa knew that, and yet, it always gnawed on her that they didn't know her without her powers, so how could it be a fair statement? The only one who ever knew her without powers was Anna, when she spent years upon years not remembering Elsa had them. Regardless of that, Anna had loved her, and loved her so very much. The town never had a real memory of her before her powers were revealed, as she was shuttered in at such a young age. And so, she found herself doing exactly as she had been told not to do, because how could she not? Elsa rarely felt vulnerable to her people, as it was, they never threatened her or told her to leave. Old insecurities died hard and sometimes they were still alive and twitching just that much. A great wave of her hands and a large, whirling ice fan rose from the waters of the fjord. Flat, icy blades propelled the air off the water to the town. At first it was too fast but Elsa had no trouble slowing it down. She set the fan to maintain a moderate speed, sending chilly air where it was needed – partially. One gigantic fan would be too much, but simply a huge fan was too little. And so, another rose, and a third, and another as tall as the castle and beautifully slim with spiraling, glittering ice crawling up the frozen bases. Elsa let her hand fall to her side as a great exhaustion crept over her. Sometimes her creations were easy, and sort of took care of themselves. Olaf, Marshmallow and the hundreds of tiny snowmen in the ice palace had somehow formed little souls, and their own energy; Elsa didn't have to maintain them. The fans, and other ice structures Elsa had set about her kingdom to keep comfort and health under the blazing sun took a little more effort. Everything had to be set just so, with a perfect layer to fend off melting and enough thought to work correctly. When the sun finally left the sky and bright stars twinkled, Elsa lay exhausted on her large bed, stripped of all her clothing as she tried to cool down, the heat from the day having preyed on her at every chance. She was able to stay relatively cool but as she was also still human, the heat had ways of piercing through her defenses and leaving her with a cool cloth pressed to her forehead. “I told you not to go so hard,” Anna whispered to her as she joined her on the bed just as naked. Her body was warm but not in a way that contributed to Elsa's situation. It was a soft warmth, a welcome warmth. She laid along Elsa's side, her fingers pressed against Elsa's cheek. “I had to, Anna. We haven't seen a wave of heat this strong in years. I can't have our people feeling unwell and unable to do the work they need to.” “I'd disagree that you needed to exhaust yourself making giant structures. Some ice here, and there, maybe an ice...cooling pad...area...” Anna struggled to get the words out, evidently not sure of what idea she even wanted to convey. “And now you're so, so tired and you don't feel good.” Elsa knew, realistically, she didn't have to do so much. However... “Ever since the forest, they all know my magic grows and is capable of so, so much. How would it be for me to hold back and not give my all?” “You are capable, but it doesn't always come without a cost. You're still mostly human...as far as I can tell. You look human, feel human...” Anna stuck her nose into the crook of Elsa's neck. It tickled and Elsa let out a giggle with a squirm. “You smell human.” “Anna...” Moving quickly, Anna met Elsa's lips with her own, her tongue devilishly slipping between them. Anna's fingers slid into her hair and dug slightly at her scalp. Elsa closed her eyes and was unable to suppress a little moan while Anna kissed her, fully enjoying the attention. She wished she had the energy to pull her beautiful queen on top of her. When Anna pulled back, she licked her lips. “You taste human and you sound human,” she finally added. “So...” “Hmmm?” Elsa gazed at her, her cheeks red and hot but once again – a different kind of heat than the one pulling her to the bed and ordering her to rest. “So...act like it!” Anna said suddenly, sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry at Elsa like a child. “Anna!” Elsa laughed, joy flowing through her. Anna made her points in the most creative and strangest of ways, sometimes, and she couldn't argue against them. “Tomorrow, no more. You've made the fans, and additions to Kristoff's sled to help with his journey to the mountains. You rest. You relax. You...” Anna paused, then she offered sort of a sly smile. “You let me take care of you,” she purred, trailing her fingers down from Elsa's head to her shoulder, arm, torso, and resting on her lower belly. “You've done enough.” “I will rest as long as it doesn't get hot-” “It'll get hotter,” Anna cut her off. “But not, like...you know, outside and stuff” she addd and her smooth flirtations lost their way. She didn't appear bothered. “Please Elsa. Rest. The kingdom doesn't need you sick from overdoing it. Our people love you, whether or not you use your powers to solve every singly problem yourself,” Anna told her, as she had told her before many times. She was right. Elsa knew that. “I know. I-...I know,” she said, surrendering. “But I can't just sit around all day, even if I do need to rest.” Then Anna took on that sly smile again. “You won't be. I'll have some, ah, some work for you to do, and for a lot of it you don't even have to leave the bed,” she promised, kissing Elsa's shoulder. A pleasurable shiver ran through Elsa as she thought about Anna's words. “Mmmhmm, I can imagine. I can even do some work right now if-” “No!” Anna reached for Elsa's hand, squeezing it. “I...no. I want you to cool off, and sleep right now.” “Is that all you want?” “Yes,” Anna confessed, honesty in her eyes. “You don't have to do anything, for me or anyone. Just be, Elsa. Just...exist, right now, that's all I want and need from you, no more. You don't have to prove yourself or earn anything.” Elsa blinked, not entirely expecting Anna's serious words from the way she was acting. Her younger sister was a bit all over the place, really, but in the best way. “Oh.” “Let me love you for no other reason than I want to. Take, for once.” There was that true and unconditional love that always spoke to Elsa's heart and reminded her of who she was, and how she felt. Anna knocked, and Elsa opened the door knowing there weren't expectations and conditions to be met. Sometimes she really could just accept what she was given, and it felt as a weight lifted from her shoulders when she finally answered Anna. “Okay.”

#Elsanna #fanfic #Elsa #Anna #fluff

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comphersjost · 3 years ago

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To Love is to Hurt | 4 ➸ Obi-Wan Kenobi and Commander Wolffe

liSTEN im sorry for how long this has taken, and that this is sort of a short chapter, it’s been a very difficult few months (im recovering from mono as i post this) so its taken me a while fskkfd

You continue to hide your rekindled relationship with Commander Wolffe, while your master begins to show you a random burst of affection.

warnings: angst?, making out, one (1) sleepy kiss, kind of manipulative obi-wan lol, jealous obi, unedited pls ignore any typos

word count: 2.4k (shes short i know im sorry)

masterlist

part 1 part 2 part 3

“You should...have paid...attention...to the debrief.”

A giggle escapes you as you press kisses to Wolffe’s mouth, unable to take his scolding seriously as he winds his arms around your waist and pulls you close.

“Well I would have if you weren't such a big distraction,” you tease, burying your face into his neck and continuing your trail of kisses. “Besides you have it all memorized anyway.”

“Me? A distraction?” he protests incredulously, even as he lifts you to wrap your legs around his waist and presses you into the closed door. “If anyone is a distraction here, little one, it's you.”

You snort skeptically as he winds his fingers through your hair, tugging it so that you lift your face from his neck to look at him. His expression is soft as he looks down at you, warmth flaring in your chest at the knowledge that you're the only one to see him this way.

“Wolffe…” you murmur, before he cuts you off with the gentle press of his mouth against yours. A soft noise of contentment escapes you as he presses you further into the door, lips moving softly on yours.

Wolffe kisses you with a reverance, one of his arms staying wrapped around your waist, cradling you to him, while the other hand cupping the back of your head.

“Missed you,” he mumbles into your mouth, “Missed this, missed you so much.”

You whine softly and cup his face between your hands, pulling him impossibly closer. Wolffe hums softly and rolls his hips into yours, his hand slipping under your tunic and rubbing gentle circles-

Beep!

Wolffe breaks away from your lips with a sigh, murmuring a soft apology and setting you back down on the floor. You ignore him as he speaks into his comm, peppering soft kisses over his collarbone. Wolffe inhales sharply when you slide over your tongue over his pulse and stutters, grip tightening on your hip.

“Y-yes,” you vaguely hear him say, voice tight, “I will be there shortly.” With another beep, the conversation seems to end, and a hand comes back to cup your jaw.

“I…have to go,” Wolffe murmurs reluctantly. You pout up at him, but your smile gives you away, understanding the duties that you both have to the Republic above all else.

“I know,” you reassure, pressing your face further into his palm. “Go, I’ll see you on the ship, if not before then.” Wolffe glances down at you fondly for a moment, before stealing a kiss and disappearing down the hallway and through the door.

“I can hear you overthinking.”

You gasp incredulously at the sharp flick to your temple, causing you to open your eyes. You glare up at Obi-Wan for a moment when he gives you a playful smile.

“Right,” you say quickly, straightening your back and adjusting yourself on the floor, “Sorry.”

“It’s alright, young one,” he assures you with a sigh, “Are you alright? You seem distracted.”

You tense at the question, avoiding Obi-Wan’s piercing gaze as he waits for an answer. Your Master smoothes a hand over your back in what’s meant to be a soothing motion as he sits beside you.

“Is it your trials?” he probes gently, “You still have a few more months before you have to take them, and I am more than confident you will pass. You are…one of the brightest students I’ve had the privilege to come across, as well as teach,”

You look down at your hands, a flush creeping up your cheeks at the praise.

“Master,” you murmur shyly, “I…I don't know what to say.”

“Don't say anything,” Obi-Wan reassures, a smile playing upon his lips, “you should focus on meditating properly.” You let out a short laugh, readjusting yourself once again and taking a deep breath.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I will,” you laugh.

Obi chuckles softly, giving you a fond glance as he takes your hand. You look back at him again, shifting nervously under his piercing gaze.

“Y/N…” His other hand comes up to brush a strand of hair out of your face, heat rising to your face at the action. You resist the urge to look away, breath hitching as his gaze roams your face. Obi-Wan’s hand remains on your face, his palm warm against your cheek as you can't help but press into it, eyes fluttering shut at the sensation.

“I'm sorry,” he murmurs softly, “if I've been harsh on you.”

Your heart clenches painfully at the sincerity in his voice, the pang of guilt in your chest quickly forgotten with the way he’s so soft with you. He hasn't treated you like this since Satine’s return into his life, and you greedily take all the affection he'll give you.

“It's alright,” you reassure softly, letting your head drop fully into his palm as his thumb strokes your cheeks. “You just wanted to protect me.”

“I did,” he whispers as you open your eyes, “I do.”

His piercing gaze locks you in place, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows almost nervously. In that moment you can feel your bond through the Force begin to strengthen once again, the warmth of his signature entangling with your own in a way that it hadn't in too long.

You can't help the tiny smile that pulls at the corners of your lips, nor the way you lean into Obi-Wan as his arms snake around you. Somehow finding yourself curled into his chest, head tucked under his chin. You take a deep breath, relaxing into your Master’s embrace for the first time in a long time, the soft smile still playing on your lips as his grip tightens.

“Master, I might fall asleep like this,” you murmur into his chest, drawing out an amused snort from Obi.

“That’s alright little one,” he assures you quietly, “I just might as well.”

A soft giggle escapes you, in turn drawing a chuckle from deep within his chest that vibrates against your temple.

“What about meditating?” you tease sleepily, energy leaving you with every second.

“You could use the rest,” Obi replies, “We all could with the way this war is going. It’s alright, little one, I’ll take you back to your room.”

You hum an unintelligible agreement as you bury your face deeper into Obi-Wan’s chest, the exhaustion hitting you all at once. You're vaguely aware of his arms finding their way under your back and knees, but by the time he's standing up with you in his arms, you've already fallen asleep.

Obi-Wan can't help but glance down at you every few moments as he makes your way to your quarters, a peaceful expression on your sleeping face that he feels he hasn't seen in months. A pang of fondness shoots through him every time he looks at you, accompanied by a flicker of sadness and fear at the thought of your trials being so soon.

You were found late, and started your training late, making you a special case in the eyes of the Council. Yet they still allowed him to train you because of your closeness in age with Anakin, the companionship having been proven to help you even when Anakin had passed his own trials.

What Obi-Wan hadn't expected was the fondness he would feel for you, your Force bond forming faster than anything he’d experienced before. The fear he felt when he felt the distance you'd put between you made him nearly sick to his stomach, forcing an internal struggle as he grappled with his loyalty to the Code and the Jedi Order and his desperation for you. The return of Satine into his life made it all the more difficult, old feelings and infatuations rising up again until he no longer knew what to focus on.

But now you were back here in his arms, content as you curled deeper into his warmth. He takes his time during the walk back to your quarters, not willing to let you go quite yet.

He's almost too distracted by you as he rounds the corner that he nearly misses the two clone commanders walking towards him.

“General!”

The sound of a voice brings him out of his trance, looking up from your sleeping face to see Cody and Wolffe walking towards him. Subconsciously, Obi-Wan’s grip tightens around you at the sight of Wolffe, and he has to fight to keep his expression neutral. Neither of the clone commanders is wearing their helmets, exposing the miniscule changes in Wolffe’s own expression, his eyes widening the slightest bit and his eyebrow raising at the sight of you in Obi-Wan’s arms.

“What's happening here?” Cody asks, tone dripping with amusement at your passed out form.

“She fell asleep during meditation,” Obi-Wan explains with a chuckle, “She needed the rest anyways, I thought I might take her back to her quarters.”

Wolffe tenses at the words, fist flexing at his side as he avoids looking at Obi-Wan. His eyes flicker to you when Cody laughs, saying something or other about how he was never this soft on Anakin.

Obi-Wan chuckles again, readjusitng his grip on you so you were pressed more tightly against him. Wolffe gulps as his gaze meets Obi-Wan’s briefly, while Cody remains blissfully unaware of the tension.

“I…will drop this one off in her quarters,” Obi finally says, beginning to step around the pair of commanders, “Cody, I will catch up with you later.”

Cody mutters something in agreement, but Wolffe isn’t listening, focused on watching Obi-Wan’s back as he walks away with you in his arms. A pang of bitter jealousy flashes through his chest when he catches sight of Obi-Wan’s head dipping for a moment to nuzzle against your temple.

Wolffe’s hand curls into a fist, and he has to turn and walk away before he does or says something he’ll regret. If Cody notices his lack of responses as he chatters on, he doesn't mention it, and Wolffe is grateful, conflicting emotions warring inside his head at what he'd just seen.

By the time Obi-Wan is approaching your room, you've started to stir the slightest bit, almost as if you could sense where you are. Obi punches in the code to your room, smiling softly when the combination of yours, his, and Anakin’s Name Days unlocks the door with a hiss.

He hasn't been to your quarters in a while, gaze roaming around the room as he takes it in. There's a stack of books on the desk, and a few more strewn across the room. The door to your closet is slightly open, exposing the more than usual amount of your clothes missing from inside. Obi frowns slightly, but his attention is drawn away when you mumble and stir in his arms.

“Shh, it’s alright,” he shushes you softly, making his way to your bed as he deposits you gently. He frowns slightly as he peels back the sheets to manuever you under them. Your bed has been perfectly made, something out of character for you.

Why make your bed when you wake up when you're just going to get back into it at night? you’d argued months ago.

He gently tugs the covers over you, watching fondly as your body relaxes into the warmth. Obi-Wan can’t help but brush your hair out of your eyes again, fingertips dragging along your temple when you stir at his touch. You mumble something unintelligible, making Obi’s brows furrow for a moment as he bends down closer to you. “Hm? What was that?”

“Stay, please,” you repeat, words slurred and eyes blurry as you reach for him weakly. He let's you catch his hand on his own, glancing between your linked fingers and your face. He knows he should, but Obi-Wan can feel his resolve weaken as you blink slowly up at him.

He almost - almost - manages to pull away and tell you he’d see you tomorrow, but your grip tightens on his hand, and his willpower splinters.

“Alright,” he murmurs soothingly, “I'll stay, little one, give me a moment.”

You make a soft, content noise at his answer and let your hand drop from his. Obi-Wan shakes his head with a soft smile, fingers undoing the ties of his robes as he walks towards the couch chair in the corner of your room.

A pile of dark fabric catches his eyes as the robes slip from Obi’s shoulders. He drapes his robes over the back of the chair before reaching for them, feeling the material for a moment before picking them up.

GAR issued blacks.

Commander Wolffe’s most likely.

Obi-Wan scowls, swiftly walking to the closet and sliding open the door and tossing the blacks messily onto the closet floor, before closing it once again. He tries to crush the bitter spark of jealousy in his chest, and possessiveness over you from the commander. He knows what he's feeling is wrong, he knows it's against the code, he knows that you’re his Padawan for kriff’s sake, but he can't help his resentment towards Wolffe for the way he’s touched you, been with you.

A quiet mumble from you draws him out of his thoughts, jealousy mostly forgotten as he climbs gingerly into bed beside you. You turn over when he slides under the covers, pressing yourself to Obi-Wan as soon as you can. You squish your face into the junction of his neck and shoulders, clinging to him needily as you seek warmth. Your arms wrap around him sloppily, your hand cupping the back of his neck to keep him from moving away from you as you cuddle into him.

Obi-Wan startles as you glue your body to his, your desperation making him swallow and take a shuddering breath. He let's you hold onto him, not planning to move after his initial shock. In fact, he embraces you, his hold tightening as if he could possibly get you closer. You hum happily at the squeeze, nuzzling into him as you squish your nose against his jaw.

He can't help but glance down at you, the movement putting his mouth far too close to yours. He should move, he should pull his gaze away. But then you - lovely, sweet, doe-eyed you - nudge closer, half-lidded eyes blinking at him when your lips slot together. He doesn't fight it - he can’t - and neither do you, warmth spreading through your entire body at the feeling of Obi’s kiss.

It isn't long, maybe a few seconds, but it’s enough to shake Obi-Wan to his core. If you were more awake, it might have shaken you too, but then your mouths separate with a soft noise, your face dropping back to bury in his neck.

When Obi-Wan’s eyes flutter back open, you're already asleep.

#vibe #my writing #tlith fic #commander wolffe #obi wan kenobi #star wars #the clone wars #tcw #commander wolffe imagine #commander wolffe x reader #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan kenobi x reader #clone x reader #tcw imagine #the clone wars imagine #star wars imagine

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aristwrites · 3 years ago

Note

You wanted requests and I wanted content ummm could I request soft gentle dom Wilbur x sub reader.

If you don't do smut then can I request camerawoman reader and Wilbur recording Lovejoy MVs?

Ty!! I hope your having a great day!!!

thank you for the request! i’ll do the sfw one right after this!

there’s also slightly bratty reader because i myself am a proud brat, and this is very fem reader leaning i hope that’s alright

this is unedited so there’s probably typos i apologize

—————

nsfw

You were currently lounging around in the bedroom you shared with your boyfriend, waiting for him to end stream. Draped over the bed switching between tiktok and twitter wearing nothing but a pair of shorts and his sweater. You were to busy commenting on your friends’ posts to notice him enter the room. He sure noticed you though.

He took a moment to stare at you before climbing on the bed behind his love. You let out a small huff of amusement when the familiar weight of his head rested on your lower back, his arm coming up to fiddle with your sleeve. Despite the small laugh you gave you ultimately decided to ignore him for now. If you had to wait for his attention he could wait for yours.

A cold hand pushed its way up under the sweater to rest on your contrastingly warm waist. Other then a small shift he didn’t get any response out of you. He groaned and moved his hand up your arm to your shoulder.

“C’mon love, I don’t even get a kiss?”

He gets silence in return. A small, barely audible giggle leaves your lips which he somehow hears.

“Really darling this is how you wanna play this?”

He laughs softly and pulls your phone from your hand, turning you over and pulling you down by the hips so your directly under him. Leaning down he starts to pepper soft kisses all over your face and lips. Quickly he moved in to kiss you properly, sweet and passionate. When he pulls back he sees the light blush dusting your face and grins.

“What’s up, huh?”

His tone was still joking but his eyes shone with sincerity. There was a small hint of worry even.

“Missed you”

You mumble.

“Aww so that’s what this is about. How about”

He presses a firm but gentle kiss to your lips.

“You show me how much you missed me, yeah?”

With a small whine you nod and pull him down by the shirt, into a deeper kiss. It quickly turned from passionate and loving to desperate and needy on your end. His large hand pushes you down by the chest. Wet open mouth kisses are trailed down your neck until he reaches the sweaters neckline. He pulls on the hem and you nod, lifting yourself up slightly to help him pull it off. Your shorts are soon to follow with your panties coming off last.

He moves off you to sit back against the headboard, holding an arm out for you. Taking the hint you move to sit on his thighs. He watches closely as you settle yourself down comfortably before you set a hand on his pants in silent question. When you receive a nod in return no time is waisted in unzipping the jeans and pulling his cock out of his boxers.

His hand weaves into your hair and softly pulls you downwards. You adjust your position quickly and lick a bold stripe from base to tip, making him groan lightly. You take his tip in your mouth before bobbing up and down slightly, hand twisting his base to help him harden up. It doesn’t take long. The sight of you naked in front of him is enough to make him fall in love all over, getting hard was no problem around you. Unless you count the bulges he would hide that came from you just being in his presence.

You let your hand fall to his thigh and take more of him in your mouth. When he finally hits the back of your throat you gag slightly, making him moan from the sensation. He pulls you off by the hair. Moving forward to hover over his lap he slowly pulls you down, his hands holding tight to your hips. Your mouth falls open in a silent moan as he fills you up so perfectly.

“Good girl, taking my cock like this. You look so pretty right now”

You moan at the praise. His hands begin to guide you up and down on his length gaining speed with each little sound you make. They’re slipping out of your mouth as he bounces you on his dick until you let out a particularly loud, whine filled moan. One of his hands moves up to grip your throat gently. Pulling you forward he kisses you roughly, squeezing the sides of your throat gently.

“Holy fuck love. Your so beautiful, so unbelievably goddamn beautiful. My good little girl” He muttered against your lips.

Soon though you have to pull away from the small make out session.

“Please~ Sir can I- I cum. Please let me~”

Your cut off by a moan as he speeds up.

“Cum for me my love. Cum for sir”

The knot that had been building in your stomach snapped as soon as you heard him.

“Oh god Will~”

Your loud moans filled the room as he slowed down. With only a moments rest he sped right back up again. You collapse forward into his arms and let out moans and whimpers, soon feeling him twitch inside you. He pulls you off him quickly and wraps a hand around himself as he cums. Strings of white paint your stomach and thighs as you kiss his neck gently.

“You did so good for me darling. So so good, I love you so much. Good girl huh, let’s get you cleaned up”

He cleans you both of with a damp washcloth before helping you change into a pair of boxers and a nightshirt, kissing your forehead and changing himself before climbing in bed with you. After having you drink some of the water on the nightstand and promising you a big meal in bed when you wake he cuddles you to sleep. After one final kiss on the cheek he snuggles into you and allows himself to drift off finally.

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buddha-in-disguise · 4 years ago

Text

I've been around fandoms for several decades now. Both before the internet, through the earliest days of internet fandom, to the present day.

I can genuinely say, the way Supergirl treats its fans, especially the LGBTQ or BIPOC fans as a whole, has been the worst by some margin. Particularly in regards Supercorp in terms of queerbaiting.

Whether those involved in the production of Supergirl want to admit it or not, Supergirl as it stands has been queerbaiting a large portion of the audience. Without a doubt, in terms of a ship, the largest core group of fans there is for Supercorp, and by some margin.

Have there been some fans who have taken things too far? Absolutely. And every good SC fan I know recognise and understand this, and constantly say this.

Yet somehow, an entire fandom gets tarred with the same brush continually.

But worse still, when anyone tries to address the queerbaiting that has gone on with someone who works on the show, other than the women in general, Jon Cryer (who could teach those BTS of SG a lot on how to engage with fans on SM, and not piss off swathes of fans), and Jesse, there are few instances I can think of where it then hasn't resulted in SC fans getting dumped on, or called delusional, or basically saying it isn't there.

Here's the thing.

As LGBTQ fans, the majority of us - especially the older ones like myself - know exactly what queerbaiting is. How do you think it even became recognised as a problem?

Because we called media out on it. The LGBTQ audiences defined it, via our experiences. So we know exactly what queerbaiting is thank you. We don't need to be told it isn't there or isn't something going on - because we are the ones who wrote up the damn definition!

In all my years of fandoms, never have I seen queerbaiting on the scale Supergirl use. Season 5 - especially 5a - brought the queerbaiting to a whole new level.

So many of us now dread S6, because S5 was so bad in a multitude of ways for the LGBTQ audience, including but not exclusively Supercorp queerbaiting.

And I don't speak for all SC fans, but I do see a lot like me are caught in a conundrum. We all love the majority of the cast. Particularly the women. Sure we all have favourites, but also as a whole, the female cast is loved and respected.

Here's my dilemma. I want to support the female cast. Hell I was a Chyler, Katie and Azie fan long before Supergirl, and have grown to love Melissa, Andrea and Nicole particularly. Nicole as a transgender women especially holds a place dear to us. I will support them all beyond Supergirl.

As S6 will begin filming, I want nothing more than to show them I love, support and care for them. But then I'm at the point where I want to just tell the show to go jump, because they've sucked all the enjoyment I had out of it for me. When you actually dread what the next week might bring, that is not what any show should be about. Yet here I find myself dreading what the show might bring.

I also am questioning do The CW even care about Supergirl any more, especially as they finally got Superman, which they've coveted for years, and made no secret of it.

They seem to forget that Supergirl and Superman have two pretty distinct fans. I like Superman, but I love Supergirl. I'm also just a little bit done with all the iterations of Superman we've had on screen.

Supergirl has always struggled on the social media side of fan engagement as well. Not once have I seen a showrunner actively engage with the audience. Or at least, if they have it was a long time ago. The current showrunners definitely haven't. Hell, one doesn't even have a SM account.

But even if a showrunner or others involved in the show don't engage, when others do, it becomes a nightmare. The last 6 or 7 hours are a case in point.

Again, yes some fans take it too far where Supercorp is involved. Yet, once again, rather than just stepping away, a writer got embroiled into something that didn't need to happen, because they gave out conflicting tweets on replies to fans over Supercorp, and then began blocking fans who were polite and respectful and did absolutely nothing to warrant a block.

Then they also liked a post that called SC fans dicks.

Yet somehow again, we are all the bad guys.

I've no doubt that they felt overwhelmed on how the reactions went. I truly do. But I really don't understand why anyone doesn't just step back. Put out a polite post saying it's all getting a bit too much, and they need to disengage. I think each and every decent fan would understand and respect that. I know I would.

But here's the thing.

Ultimately the writer shouldn't be in that position of trying to answer fans on it all. Nor should they dismiss fans who say it is queerbaiting, if they're not LGBTQ themselves.

The problem is Supergirl social media is so lacking, it places a higher burden on writers and others instead. That is on the show. Entirely.

I also have to question just how diverse is the writers room? Having a number of women, if they are White and cis, when you have a cast of characters who are LGBTQ and/or Black or POC, is not having a good diverse writers room. And it shows.

If you say there is no queerbaiting, but not LGBTQ, you need to stop trying to redefine what is accepted queerbaiting.

If someone says it is a gay agenda, you need to stop with that, because that is homophobic. End of. That's no different that being racist if you write it is a Black agenda.

Supergirl put themselves in this position.

I've had family watch Supergirl with no preconceptions on characters suddenly say: I see something between Kara and Lena. Are they together? And being astounded when not only do they realise they're not together, that they actually have 4 seasons of this and counting.

This has come from straight family. Or my very gay, very into men brother in law.

If others see it who aren't involved as Supercorp fans, who might even be straight - that is queerbaiting.

But here's the thing. It shouldn't need us to say others see it too. If a large segment of audience see it, say it is there, pull out receipts to show why they are saying that time and again, that should be enough.

Yet it isn't.

As much as it pains me - I sense now The CW has Superman, they're going to let Supergirl go by end of S6. I'd be more surprised if they announce a 7th season than not.

Whatever decisions on the shows future they might be making, one thing is clear.

If they don't allow Supercorp to develop, and don't get rid of whatever homophobic block is going on for the show, Supergirl will be left with a legacy of being probably the worst example on queerbaiting your audience ever.

The 100 are still panned to this day over Clexa by LGBTQ fans.

Supergirl still have a chance, a choice to pull it around.

Sadly I doubt that will happen.

In the meantime, I'm stuck on wanting to stop watching the show, but wanting desperately to support the cast. That's the conundrum many of us now face.

The legacy Supergirl will leave is not going to be about empowering women if they don't change significantly for S6.

It will be how they queerbaited, how they dismissed the only full cast Black woman, worse still, who played an LGBTQ role. How they dismissed the LGBTQ as a whole.

Those are legacies that will not die away for LGBTQ fans. The CW in general has tainted itself with the LGBTQ audience in more than one show.

What a mess.

And it really wouldn't take much to avoid all of this. That's what is so disappointing. It is an easy fix.

Apologies for any typos/mistakes as I'm posting unedited.

#supergirl #kara danvers #lgbtq #katie mcgrath #melissa benoist #supercorp #chyler leigh #lena luthor #alex danvers #azie tesfai #kelly olsen #nia nal #nicole maines #queerbaiting

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winchester90210 · 5 years ago

Text

The BH 90210 Rewrite. 1x14: East Side Story

Rewrite Masterlist

Read the previous chapter here!

Chapter Summary: A new arrival at West Beverly has the reader a little on edge.

Warnings: swearing, jealousy, partially unedited writing.

Words: 2,900

My work is not to be reposted and/or edited without my expressed written consent. (Reblogging is fine and encouraged!!!)

Feedback is incredibly appreciated!

A/N: Hope everyone enjoys it! I feel like this is definitely more of a filler chapter, but it's fun nonetheless! Next week…Palm Springs Weekend ;)

“M.C. Hammer’s office.”

“Hi, how are you? Is he in for David Silver?” David’s voice sounds out through the school as he speaks on the phone and into the radio system.

“For who?”

“David Silver broadcasting live and direct from the tree-lined campus of West Beverly High!”

“West Beverly High?” The woman sighs, frustrated, “Does Mr. Hammer know who you are?”

“Not yet! But he will once you put the call through… Hello? Hello?”

“Man, David Silver has totally lost it,” you giggle as Brandon greets you in the hallway with a kiss.

“He’s not that bad,” he shrugs. He intertwines his fingers with yours as you trot to first period together.

“I’m sorry, but you wouldn’t be the least bit concerned with my well-being if I started calling up Madonna?” You raise an eyebrow inquisitively, “It’s not that he’s a bad kid… he’s just a little bit of a pest sometimes, y'know?” Brandon smiles as you continue, stopping at his locker and twisting the combination.

“Moving on from the thrilling life of David Silver,” he swings it open, piling book after book in his hands. “How are you and Kelly?” You sigh dramatically. “Still not good, huh?”

“She’s still not talking to me and I’m still not talking to her… I just don’t get it. Brenda forgave me, Brenda forgave her, we traded apologies, we had a group hug, everything was fine… if not a little weird,” you huff, leaning against the cold metal lockers. “She thinks Brenda wasn’t harsh enough with me for the whole Dylan fiasco.”

“And what do you think?”

“Well, for one, I think it’s ridiculous. If Brenda’s not mad, why should anyone else be? And what she did was way worse than what I did! But it’s fine. She’ll talk to me when she’s ready to talk to me. I’m just… a little aggravated.”

“Well, then I’m just gonna have to put in a little extra effort to relax you,” he propositions.

“I’d like to see you try, Walsh.”

“Do not tell me the printer broke again,” Andrea organizes the papers at her desk, sighing. Man, was negativity in the air today or what? You stand at the front of her desk, Brandon standing patiently behind you.

“Okay, I won’t,” you agree, “it’s the fax machine.”

“This school is falling apart right before my very eyes!” She criticizes melodramatically. “Can I help you?” She peers past your shoulder to the person behind you.

“This isn’t the new building, is it?” You turn back to face the girl, and what you aren’t expecting is… someone that pretty. Long gorgeous brunette curls fell down her shoulders. She smiles nervously, which draws attention to the dark cherry lipstick on her lips. Beverly Hills never falls short on pretty girls, does it?

“No. You have to go back out through the quad and past the science labs,” you tell her.

“Which way is that?”

“It’s through the double doors,” Brandon is standing with his back to her, studying the revised paper in his hand, “I’m going that way. I’ll show you.”

“And stick Andrea and I with your typos?” You tease, looking up at him as you sit down on the edge of the wooden desk.

“What typos?”

“You forgot an A in recreational and you failed to capitalize Sacramento,” Andrea indulges.

“And you have the guts to call yourself Sports editor?” You denounce him facetiously.

“Maybe Sacramento doesn’t deserve a capital,” he retorts.

“Hey, cheap shot! I was born in Sacramento,” the mystery girl pipes in.

“We’ll try not to hold it against you,” you joke. You hold out your hand for her to shake, “I’m Y/N, one of the reporters for the school newspaper. I do Lifestyle, Opinions, Entertainment. That sort of thing.” She shakes your hand and you notice how freshly painted and perfect her nails are.

“I’m Carla Montez–”

“Carla?” Brandon jumps in. Wait. This was Anna’s Carla? He had mentioned her earlier today but… this had to be her? “I’m Brandon Walsh. Y'know… Jim and Cindy Walsh?”

“Hello, Brandon.” Well, this was going to be fun.

And boy was it. As the day went on, you not only discovered she could speak in flawless french and could debate an English novel like no one’s business, but she actually knew something about computers and robotics. This totally blew. You don’t know why exactly, but it did. You were sure of it. And not only was she gorgeous, smart, and good with computers, but Brandon was at her side all day, showing her the ropes. Although you had a hunch she would’ve been just fine without him.

You walk through the Peach Pit doors with a relieved sigh as you’re met with your friends’ faces. “Hi, Brenda, Hi, Donna, Hi…” your words trail off as you get to Kelly, who’s actively avoiding your gaze. Without another word, you sit down at the counter next to Brenda and as far from your aggravating blonde friend as possible. Hey, at least Carla wasn’t here.

“Hey, Carla’s here!” Steve shouts out, standing behind you with a hand on your shoulder. Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit.

Brandon’s head pops out from the depths of the kitchen to check on the tables, but as soon as he lays eyes on you he lights up.

“Hey! I didn’t think you were coming along,” he greets you, bending over the counter to give you a quick peck. “Hold on a second, hey everyone. I’d like you to meet Carla. And Carla, this is Kelly, that’s Donna, the guy back there is Steve, this is my sister, Brenda, and Y/N, who you met earlier today.” Brandon goes down the line of his friends sitting at the counter, “and this handsome devil is Nat, Mr. Beverly Hills Chi-Chi himself.”

“He might be ugly, but he serves great pie,” Steve cracks.

“It’s an old family recipe. Right out of the box!” Nat guffaws, disappearing into the depths of the kitchen. You look over to Donna and right past Kelly, who’s flipping through a Chick Schneider catalog.

“Brenda, are you sure we can have anything we want?” You ask as Donna passes her extra magazine down to you. You start to go through it, the shiny pages adorned with tons of cute, fashionable, and unreasonably expensive clothes.

“Yeah! Just tell me the color, the size, and it’s yours.”

“God, these baggies are so trendoid,” Kelly giggles.

“Hey Bren, do you think Carla could place an order too?” Brandon shouts, a little further down at the counter with Steve.

“Sure, if she likes Chick Schneider’s stuff!”

“I love Chick Schneider… who’s Chick Schneider?” Carla jokes.

“Thanks for the ride home, Steve,” you unbuckle your seatbelt as he pulls into your driveway

He nods nonchalantly.

“Anytime,” he offers, “you alright? You seemed pretty rattled today.”

“I’m fine,” you assure him, “Hey, it didn’t rain, no electronics were destroyed, the interior of your car is still in good shape– I’d call this a good day.”

“Don’t change the subject, Y/N/N. Is this about Kelly?”

“This has nothing to do with Kelly! I couldn’t care less about the Kelly thing right now.”

“So it’s Brandon? I thought you two were in chastity belt heaven right now.”

“It’s not him it’s–” you stop yourself short, “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“This is because of that Carla chick, isn’t it?” It isn’t until you shoot Steve a death glare that he knows he hit the nail on the head. “I knew it!”

“No, you didn’t–”

“You don’t have anything to worry about. You’re way hotter than that valley girl and if Brandon has any sense, he knows that too.”

“M.C. Hammer’s office.”

“Hi, M.C. Hammer please.” Another day, another desperate reach for M.C. Hammer.

“Who is this?”

“Well, if I tell you, do you promise not to hang up? Hello?”

“Hey, Scott!” You call out to him, waving him over to your locker.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s up?”

“What’s going on with D.J. David and M.C. Hammer?” You inquire playfully.

“David wants him to play at the prom,” he snorts.

“There’s no way M.C. Hammer would ever play at a school dance.”

“You know that and I know that. And M.C. Hammer knows that. But unfortunately, I think somebody forgot to tell David.”

You lean against your table in the Blaze’s workshop as Brandon struts in.

“Oh, hey, I need to ask you something!”

“Shoot,” he prompts you, slipping his hands from your waist to your lower back, pulling you close.

“What’s going on with Carla?”

“Y/N.” He removes his hands from you and begins to pull away.

“Not like that, okay? I know there’s nothing going on there. I-I jut5 happened to be in the Register’s Office dropping something off and Carla’s file just happened to be on the counter with her address showing.”

“Y/N,” he stresses.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I’m a little nosy, okay? And– and you know what? I’ve already forgotten what I saw. I know nothing. Who’s Carla?” He chuckles lightly at your joke.

“I’m glad,” he nods. You tap your fingers against the desk for a moment, pondering.

“Is she living at your house?”

“What do you think?”

“I think you need to be careful, Brandon! One person getting caught could spiral a major chain reaction. First Carla, then Andrea, then you and I have to duke it out to see who becomes editor-in-chief and I’m sorry but I just don’t think our relationship is strong enough to withstand a battle to the death for that editing position!” His demeanor changes as you finish your facetious rant and he laughs softly into your fist as he raises it up to his lips, kissing it.

“We’ll all be careful, Y/N/N.”

“That’s all I ask, Walsh.”

You nurse on your chocolate milkshake as Brandon walks up to your spot, smiling at you with the sweetest look he can muster.

“Have I mentioned how absolutely radiant you are today? And every day?” You roll your eyes at his saccharine grin.

“You want some of my milkshake, don’t you?” He nods. “I cannot believe you!” you laugh, “You get a discount, I have to pay for mine.”

“Nat puts extra chocolate syrup in yours,” he reasons. You roll your eyes for the second time and lift your cup up to him.

“One sip,” you giggle. He raises the straw up to his lips but stops just shy of them.

“Actually…” In one swift motion, he leans down and brings your lips to his in a soft yet deep kiss. You moan softly as his tongue gently pushes into your mouth, and just as soon he’s pushing away. “I was right. It tastes better that way.”

“Guys, please. I just want to eat my eggs.”

Steve’s voice cuts you both out of your trance, a disgusted, slightly amused look on his face. You have to fight to hold back your laugh as Dylan enters.

“Well, if it isn’t Dylan, the wild surfman!” Brandon greets cheerfully. Dylan’s hair is soaked, but the rest of him is dry as he parks himself next to you.

“Don’t tell me it wasn’t cold out there this morning,” Steve inquires.

“Oh, no, man. It was happening, waves were breaking,” Dylan responds, then he looks pointedly at you, “they missed you.”

“The waves have been totally needy recently, I told them to back off but they just keep calling me,” you do your best valley girl accent as a rebuttal.

“Ha ha ha,” Dylan deadpans a fake laugh, but interrupts with a smile he tries to fight off.

“Hey, that’s the same shirt I ordered from Brenda’s catalog!” Steve notices. Dylan messes with the neckline of his shirt delicately.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to get some baggies tonight. The party’s still on, right?”

“You mean the social event of the season?” Brandon raises an eyebrow, taunting the nature of the event.

“Hey, any event where I can get free designer clothes is an event worth rooting for,” you point a finger at your very accommodating waiter. He kisses your head before picking up your empty plate and moving onto a different group of guests.

“What do you mean I can’t go?!” You shout at your father, who’s sitting on the living room couch with a Reader’s Digest in his hand.

“I mean Jim Walsh is a crude and unfair individual. I will not have you fraternizing with that family!”

“I don’t even know the Walshes! I probably won’t even see them, let alone fraternize with them.” You tap your foot impatiently, “Besides, Steve Sanders invited me. I’ll be hanging out with him all night anyway.” Your father perks up at his name.

“Well…” he flips the tiny page in his book, pondering. “You can go. For an hour. Stay close to Steve… avoid that bastard accountant.” You don’t know what’s worse– your dad trusting Steve or the fact that you could now only refer to Jim Walsh as the “Bastard Accountant.”

You slump against the wall, a fruity mocktail in your hand. You’re watching Brandon talk to Carla in the living room as she flips her hair and gives him a smile. She has a great smile. That makes you sick. You take a swig of your brightly colored drink, trying to let the sweetness of the beverage soothe the built-up frustration in your stomach.

“Y/N and Brandon have been on top of each other non-stop lately. You know, for a couple of virgins, they’re the biggest horn dogs I’ve ever met,” Steve bites half-bitterly, half-jokingly.

“He’s really flipped for her in a major way, huh?” Dylan leans against the fireplace, setting down his soda with a metallic clank. He glances over to you, watching you nurse on your drink as you watch someone else. Every cheesy laugh she gives Brandon makes you just a little bit more nauseous every single time. No one was that funny.

“Definitely.”

Carla gives Brandon one last cheeky smile and it’s your breaking point. You practically slam your martini glass onto the nearest table, turn on your heel, and stomp your way upstairs. Dylan jumps forward, about to follow you up there, but Steve stops him with the back of his hand as he sees Brandon zoom past him.

“He’s got it covered.”

You can hear the rapidly approaching footsteps as you lie on Brandon’s bed, watching the fan swirl around and around and around. You hear the footsteps skid to a stop as he reaches for the door, takes a moment to compose himself, and swings it open.

“What’s goin’ on, Y/N/N?” He sets himself next to you as you sit up, brushing your hand through your hair. As you sit in your total mental breakdown, you can’t help but think how good he looked in that white sweater, how good he always looked. You stare at your feet, and while they looked good, they hurt like a bitch. Time to make the switch to flats. “C'mon, Y/N/N. Talk to me.” You groan.

“Carla follows you around like a puppy and I want to scratch her eyes out.” You indulge bluntly.

“So that’s what this is about? You’re jealous of Carla?”

“You say that like I’m being ridiculous, Brandon, she follows you like a puppy and she’s insanely gorgeous and so smart and y'know, it’s not like I have anything to be jealous of! We never agreed on being exclusive so–”

“Y/N.”

“As far as I’m concerned you’re fair game and–”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“You want to know why I think you being jealous of Carla is so ridiculous? Because she’s never going to be you, Y/N/N. When I said I wanted to be with you I meant it. I don’t want Carla, or Kelly, or Farrah Fawcett, or anyone else for that matter. I just want you.” Well, if you weren’t in love with him yet, you were now.

“I wish it could be like this with everyone,” Brandon smiles as you walk into the newsroom, hand in hand.

“Like what?” You ask.

“You know, how we are with each other. Easy, comfortable. Effortless.”

“You’re making our relationship sound like a car rental service,” you tease, “besides, being with you?” You turn your head and give him a chaste kiss, “such a chore.”

“Okay, don’t hang up, just don’t hang up! Now, this is David Silver, the voice of West Beverly High and I really don’t care that he doesn’t want to come to our homecoming dance. Or that he’s one of the top recording and video artists in the world. But at least you could put my call through one time without hanging up! So… having said all that could I please talk to M.C. Hammer?”

“M.C. Hammer? Sorry. Think you have the wrong number.”

You stifle a laugh as to not disrupt the rest of the room, “Anyway… where’s Carla?”

“She went back home, I guess whatever issues she was having were cleared up.”

“Oh,” you feign sadness quite awfully, “That’s… that’s too bad… do you want to go to the movies tonight?”

Taglist: @be-patient-be-good @mpmarypoppins @bevelyhills90210 @blueoz @harleylilo88 @princess-ghost-alien @hueycat2004 @l4life @keepcalm-and-beyou

#beverly hills 90210 #bh90210 #bh 90210 #90210 #brandon walsh x reader #brandon walsh #jason priestley #dylan mckay #steve sanders #brenda walsh #kelly taylot #jason priestley x reader #the bh90210 rewrite #east side story

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katieswinforddiaries · 6 years ago

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Every Other Weekend: A Matt Murdock One Shot

Summery: The reader was Matt’s girlfriend in law school who was pregnant when he left her for Elektra. Years later while sharing custody of their son both of them are struggling to not admit that they still have feelings for each other.

Author’s Note: So I had made a imagine of this (Which can be found here. http://katieswinforddiaries.tumblr.com/post/181969859888/imagine-having-shared-custody-of-your-children ) and wanted to write this one shot for quite some time now. I am just finally getting around to it. I know I’ve been absent lately. I’ve just been being a hot damn mess moving and starting a new job. Also yes I can utterly see Matt having a son named after his father. Also this is the raw unedited first draft cause I really did not feel like editing all four pages of this tonight. Lol So sorry for any typos or if it sucks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk6DK3h9lC4

Rating: T

“Daddy!” Matt grinned as he looked up hearing the squeal of delight as his son ran into the Nelson and Murdock office.

“Hey buddy.” Karen told him with a big smile.

“Hi Auntie Karen.” Jack giggled.

“There’s my favorite nephew.” Foggy said as he walked up. When you spoke Matt could swear his heart skipped a beat.

“Hey guys. Hey Matt. Is now not a good time? I can bring him by later.” You offered.

“No!” Jack screamed in protest just before Matt felt him rush over and climb up into his lap. You began to scold before Matt cut you off.

“Jack Edward Murdock, you do not yell at your mother.” Matt scolded firmly making him look down in shame. “Tell her sorry.”

“I’m sorry mommy.” Jack muttered.

“It’s okay bubby I forgive you. But you have to remember your manners.” You told him.

“And he’s fine (y/n).” Matt promised as he hugged Jack tight. “Besides my best helper is always welcome at the office.” He added before turning his attention to to his son. “Hey buddy. I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too daddy.” Jack told him as he cuddled close.

“We’re almost done here. Just waiting for you while we finish up and grab dinner.” Foggy admitted.

“Awesome. Thank you guys for helping out so much.” You replied.

“Of course. You guys are family.” Foggy promised.

“I will come by Sunday night and pick him up.” You told Matt.

“Well be ready.” Matt promised already planning on cherishing what little time he got with the two of you.

“So… why aren’t you and mommy married?” Jack asked several hours later at dinner out of the blue.

“I’m sorry what?” Matt asked nearly doing a spit take at his son’s question.

“Well other kids at school their mommies and daddies are married. Why aren’t you and mommy?” He asked.

“Because little man you dad is an idiot.” Foggy told him without missing a beat.

“Hey now!” Matt exclaimed.

“No he has a point Matt. (Y/N) is amazing.” Karen agreed.

“Daddy!” Jack whined obviously still waiting for his answer.

“Well buddy. Uncle Foggy is sort of right.” Matt admitted with a sigh. “A long time ago your mommy and I loved each other very much, but I made a mistake that hurt her really bad. So now she doesn’t love me the same way anymore.” He explained.

“Oh” Jack said. “Did you tell her you were sorry? Because you should always say you’re sorry when you do something bad.”

“Sometimes sorry isn’t enough little man.” Foggy admitted. “Now eat your food or I’m going to steal it” He teased making Jack squeal and giggle.

“Hey are you right?” Karen asked once Jack was distracted.

“I will be he just caught me off guard.” Matt told her not wanting to admit even to his closest friends the obvious feelings he still had for the mother of his child.

Over the next several days Matt could not get you off his mind. He had known for a long time that he still had feelings for you, but Jack’s question had made him realize that he had never really made amends for how much he had hurt you leaving you for Elektra. He couldn’t help imagining what your life might be like now if he had never done it. When even going out as Daredevil didn’t help to take his mind off of you he finally gave in and made his way to your apartment. He knew Jack would be in bed and he really needed to talk to you.

“Matt… my god what happened to you?” You asked when you opened the door and noticed several bruises and scratches on his face.

“Can we talk?” He asked you feeling more and more anxious by the minute.

“Yeah. Are you going to answer my question? “ You asked.

“No.” He admitted. “Listen I know you probably still hate me for what I did to you all those years ago and that you really just endure me for Jack’s sake…” He began before you cut him off.

“Matt you’re rambling. And what are you talking about? If it’s that thing with that girl you dumped me for back in school I saw you after she left you. I think that was payback enough for you.” You chuckled.

“No it wasn’t. I hurt you and that wasn’t alright.” He replied.

“So you came all this way to say you’re sorry?” You asked.

“No. I mean yes, but not just for that. This weekend Jack asked me why we weren’t married and when we tried to explain he asked if I’d apologized and ever since… I can’t stop thinking about us. What life would be like if I hadn’t hurt you.” He admitted. “I guess I just. I… I can’t keep pretending that I don’t have feelings for you. Sure I’ve thought about what it would be like to have you back, but never like this.” He admitted.

“You… still have feelings for me?” You asked.

“Yeah. I know it’s stupid and you probably hate me but, …” Matt began to say before you cut him up placing a finger to his lips.

“Matt Murdock, you oblivious idiot, I’ve loved you since the first day I met you and I never stopped. I just assumed you weren’t interested in being in my life outside of Jack.” You admitted. “I accepted a long time ago that he was the little piece of you I would ever get to keep.”

“Then… Would you consider giving me another chance?” He asked.

“Of course I would. Just don’t break my heart this time Murdock. I couldn’t handle going through that again.” You told him.

“I promise I won’t.” He replied. “ I promise.”

#katie swinford diaries #Matt Murdock #Matt Murdock One Shot #Daredevil #Daredevil One Shot

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writings-of-a-narwhal · 6 years ago

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Soft BFFs AU - Broken Thrones & Paranormal Priest

So.... @abalonetea and I agreed that our kids should meet and now...I wrote something for it!! This part is about 1600 words and completely unedited! Enjoy all the typos and cringey conversations!! :D

Rosar pulls her jacket tighter around her as a chill creeps up her spine. The sun must’ve set. The sounds of cars rushing by drown out the tapping of her cane on the concrete. She's nearing a corner; she can tell by the sounds around her. The noise of traffic is coming from her right and in front of her.

They said to turn right at the corner and the church will be right there, doors unlocked. The safest place for her to go on the block, especially with nighttime creeping upon the city. The ground under her feet changes a little as she walks on the path leading, hopefully, to the doors of the church.

The end of her cane hits something in front of her. Taking a breath, she reaches out and opens the door with a shaky hand. She steps inside the building, door slamming shut behind her. She winces at the loud echoes. Her hands, slick with sweat, curl tightly around her cane.

“Hel- hello?” She calls, her voice coming out as a squeak. Clearing her throat she tries again. “Hello? Is anyo-is anyone here?”

“Yes, hi, welcome to the Our Lady of Victory Church. I’m Father Emiliano. Can I help you?” His voice is not loud like other preachers she’s encountered. His voice is...gentle.

“Uh, I am los- I am lost. I just moved into town with- with my sisters and I was trying to find my way around by my- by myself while they were tending to their responsibilities. I’m pretty sure my phone is dead and the sun is going down...could you- could you help me? Please? I don’t think it- I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to go back on my own and some ni- some nice people directed me here to get help...” She chews on her cheek, hands curling even tighter around her cane.

“Don’t apologize. I’ll help you out. Where do you live?” He asks, voice still gentle.

“Uh, my sis- my sister goes to a college ne-to a college near here. Har- Harvard.”

“Right. I can help you get there. Just give me a moment.”

His footsteps fade as he leaves the room. However, they get louder as he walks back into the room and back to where she is. She can smell something...pasta? She won’t ask.

“Alright. Let’s go.”

Rosar follows as he walks towards the door, him holding it open for her. She mumbles a thank you. She shivers as soon as she steps outside. Fumbling for a second, she zips up her jacket. Maybe wearing a sundress wasn’t the best idea. She walks beside Emiliano, her cane gently tapping the concrete in front of her. The traffic rushes by, now on her left, but Emiliano is between her and the street.

The air between them is laced with awkwardness. She’s a stranger to this preacher, of course it’s going to be awkward, yet here he is, willing to take her home. He’s amazingly kind, just like that couple from earlier said. She should try to at least make this walk more pleasant. She just needs to come up with something to talk about…

“You said your sister is going to Harvard, right? What’s she taking there?” Emiliano’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts. Well, at least she doesn’t have to come up with something to talk about.

“Yeah. My siste- my sister Eira is doing a double- doing a double major in Peace-Conflict studies and economics. With a- with a minor in psychology.”

“That’s a lot to take on,” he murmurs.

“Eira tends to take- to take a lot on. Bury her- bury herself in her responsibilities.”

“I can kinda understand that.”

She nods. “It just seems- it just seems like a lot to take on to me. Way too much stress. Of course, I tend- I tend to get stressed quite easily.”

“I get that, I get stressed a lot, too.” His voice is sincere.

“Really? I figured you’d...rely on your god and not worry about- not worry about things the way everyone else does.” Immediately she flushes, regretting what she said and hoping that she didn’t just offend him.

A soft almost-chuckle, the amused breath people release when they aren’t quite laughing. “Just because I’m a preacher doesn’t mean I don’t get stressed. I’m just like everyone else.”

“I suppose- I suppose that makes sense. I apologize if I assumed- assumed too much.”

“Don’t apologize,” he pauses. “Did I ever get your name?”

“Oh! No...I never introduced myself. I- I’m sorry. My name is Rosar. Like the- Like the flower, but with a little twist.” She smiles. “Is there a flower sho- flower shop or someplace similar around here? That’s still- That’s still open, that is.”

“Uh, yeah, I think so. There’s a supermarket with a flower display nearby.”

“Can we- can we stop by there? I’d like to buy- to buy some flowers.”

“Sure, I’ll take ya over there.”

Rosar’s smile gets bigger and there’s now a little spring in her step. She ignores the chill of the night wind, too preoccupied with the idea of picking out flowers for her sisters. That will help make this new city seem more like home. She’ll just need to be able to find a nice park or garden to visit during the day so she can smell fresh flowers on a regular basis.

Emiliano takes her down a path she’s pretty sure she didn’t take ono her way there. Or maybe she did and doesn’t remember it very well. Either way, they walk into the store together, the automatic doors opening with a funny little noise. Emiliano gently directs her to the flower display, saying he’ll be back in a minute.

She walks over to the display, a soft floral scent washing over her. She reaches out to it. Her fingers brush plastic and then the softness of flower petals that she loves oh so much. Gently, she runs her fingers over each bouquet, searching for the perfect one. She stops on the second-to-last bouquet and picks it up. The familiar smell of roses gets stronger and makes the smile on her face even bigger.

Rosar turns around, the bouquet laying gently in her right arm, the left hand holding her cane. She makes her way over to where it seems the checkout lanes are and stands behind them, not wanting to rush him in whatever he’s attending to. So she listens. Not to eavesdrop, but to figure out where he is. Though, listening without being in on a conversation is eavesdro--

“-ay, Milano, yer gettin’ more o’ them cookies, aren’t ya?” Is he….Irish?

“Yeah, I’m getting some more. Brought someone by and figured I’d stop and get some more.”

“Ya brought someone by?”

“Yeah, she’s….right there.”

Rosar grins at them and waves with her left hand, as best she can with the cane in her hand. Oh. She wasn’t supposed to be eavesdropping. Now they know she was listening to what she was saying. Oh no…

She doesn’t hear what they say as they walk towards her, her heart pounding so loudly she’s sure it’s echoing through the whole store.

“Tommy, this is Rosar. She’s new around here. Rosar, this is Tommy. He’s an assistant manager here.”

“Nice t’ meetcha lass.” He doesn’t sound upset. Maybe she’s okay.

“Nice to mee- nice to meet you, too, Tommy.”

She walks next to the two of them as they head to the checkout counters. Emiliano first, buying his cookies. Then Rosar with her bouquet of roses. She listens to the conversation Emiliano and Tommy are having, not wanting to intrude by adding her two cents. One thing she does notice is that Tommy keeps calling Emiliano ‘Milano’. Aren’t those cookies? Oh! Maybe those are his favorite cookies! The ones he just bought! She’ll have to ask about that.

After saying their farewells to Tommy, they leave the supermarket and start heading down the street again, Emiliano once again between Rosar and the road.

“So, is Tommy an old friend of yours? And...he calls you Milano?” She eventually asks, her voice anything but demanding.

“Yeah, he is, and he does. I, uh, buy a lot of those Milano cookies, so he started calling me Milano…” She can hear the rustling of fabric as he talks, and not just the basic sounds from walking.

“He sounds like a nice friend- like a nice friend to have. I...was never one to make friends easily, so I’m glad to hear- I’m glad to hear that you have a good friend! Everyone deserves one.” She bites down on her cheek. “That’s not to say I’m all on- all on my own, I have my sisters. Any-anyway.”

“It’s nice to know you have your sisters.”

She gives a small smile at his kind voice and words, but her insides are bursting with nervous energy. Why is she telling this guy so much? She just met him. Yeah, those people she talked to before said he was nice and trustworthy, and he has been very kind thus far, but who knows how long that’ll last. A shiver goes down her spine. Maybe she should’ve stayed back home...father said she was going to regret coming out here….

“You alright, Rosar?” Emiliano’s voice is laced with worry.

She must be showing her nerves. She forces a smile on her face. “I’m- I’m fine, thanks. And you can- you can call me Rosie, every- everyone does.”

“Alright, then you call me Milano.”

She turns her head towards him, a real smile taking over. “Alri- alright, Milano.”

#the narwhal's writing #soft bffs au #i hope this is good kldhfaksjdhglk #please tell me if i did your boys good katie #tommy is only in there a little bit but still #all of this feels super awkward to me oops

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victoria-seaberg-blog · 7 years ago

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C1 - etiquette lessons

[HELLO! Here’s my fic for challenge 1. Thanks everyone for the rps @nathaniel-schreave @ladyvenusvale @ladyaadamaier and @aubree-gram and mentions of @phaniecastello @camille-marshall and @claraeclair you’re all amazing! PS this is unedited, so please ignore typos. I will post another fic later with the remaining rps in them but that won’t be part of challenge 1. Thanks to everyone who rp’d with me :)]

DAY 1: you’re too much of a drama llama

I wake up to the sound of my maids opening the curtains. Today is the first proper day of the selection. I can’t really explain what I’m feeling, it’s more of a mix between excitement and uncertainty. But there are also some nerves there. The morning is packed with activities. First we have an etiquette lesson, after that an interview with the Prince and then breakfast. The afternoon is free, so we can do whatever we want to.

My maids help me get ready. Nilje does my makeup as the other two straighten my hair. I still have to get used to the length of my hair but I couldn’t be happier with it. It looks amazing on me, if I say so myself. My dress today is a gorgeous light grey one with long sleeves and a deep V-neck. I don’t know if my maids are aware of this, but my dress yesterday also had a deep V-neck. Maybe it’s just a coincidence. Or they really want me to make an impression. The grey dress is gorgeous though, the embroidery makes it an immediate eye-catcher which is exactly what I need for the interview with the Prince.

I walk around the room, trying to find my name tag. Immediately I spot Stephanie. I can tell someone tried to tame down her hair, but I can’t say they’ve succeeded. Please let my seat be at the other table. No. And to make things worse, her seat is next to the girl across me. But let’s focus on the positive things for a second, my seat is right in front of the Queen and the two Princesses.

Some of the other girls are nervously chattering to one another. Thankfully they shut up when Lady Collette, our etiquette teacher, enters the room. I have heard stories about her from my maids, they seemed to be scared of her. Apparently she is very strict and intimidating. We will see about that.

“Good morning, ladies, I trust you all slept well.” She nods towards all of us. “My name is Collette Bennett and I am the royal planner. My job is to instruct you ladies on the proper etiquette for your stay in the palace. There will be no back talking, no obedience, and absolutely no unladylike conduct. This includes sabotage and gossip. If you respect me and listen to what I say, we will not have a problem.” My maids were right, she is strict and intimidating. But that doesn’t scare me, on the contrary it makes me respect her.

Lady Collette continues with her lesson. “Now, I am going to teach you all a proper curtsy.” She demonstrates a perfect, elegant curtsy. “You will do this as you greet a royal or anyone of importance. Prince Nathaniel will call each of you one by one for a short interview. You will address him as ‘your highness’ and curtsy, unless he says otherwise.” I make a mental note of that piece of information. Don’t forget this, Vic!

“After you’ve learned your greetings, we will get into the dining portion. Now, let us begin.”

The lesson is over before I know it. Before Lady Collette leaves she reminds us again about the curtsy and the right way of addressing the Prince.

As we’re waiting for the Prince to come, scan the girls sitting near me. To my left, there’s a girl with blonde hair. “Lady Clara” her name tag says. Across from her is Stephanie, who looks a bit awkward. She is exchanging some words with the girl across from me, I believe her name is Lady Camille but she prefers to be called by her last name. She has a certain look of responsibility over her.

Something hits me on the head, snapping me out of my thoughts. I sigh and turn around. Venus has a guilty look on her face. Of course it was her. Why god why? Her head makes me feel even more annoyed, “excuse you!” I exclaim.

The guilt in her face disappears, a smirk forms, “you’re excused.”

With my right ear I hear Stephanie laugh, which makes me more annoyed. However, I am not stupid. I know it’s not clever to start a fight with her right now, when I need to put Venus in her place.

“I don’t know what you’re doing, little Vee. But maybe you should pay attention to what Lady Collette just said, you obviously could learn a lot.” I know the comment made quite an impact on her because she rolls her eyes, “back on that high horse I see. I know plenty.”

I sigh, “What’s your problem?”

Venus raises her voice, “My problem? You keep acting like you’re better than me! Let’s face the facts, you’re just like the rest of us.”

That comment hits me hard, I have never acted as if I was better than anyone else. Why on earth would she think that? “Says the one who acts like she is this famous superstar.”

That’s when a third person decides to jump in. “I can tell you what you’re both acting like and it’s not ladies.” The blonde girl shifts her eyes between me and Venus, “you’re behaving like absolute children.”

Who on earth thinks she can get involved in my business? I shoot her a deadly glare, hoping that she realizes she has to stay out of this and leave me alone.

Venus on the other hand is not stepping down, coldly she says “you did not just call me a child, Aada. I don’t care for that tone.”

This is when I notice the other girls are all looking at us. Some look particularly scared, while others seem desperate for some drama. Some girls try to calm Venus down, telling her that they don’t want her to be send home for this.

“I do not act like a superstar.” Venus shifts her attention back to me again.

“Of course you don’t.” I say and roll my eyes. I’m done with this fight, so I turn around to face my own table again.

It has come to my attention that not one of those girls tried to calm me down. Not one. Until someone reaches for my hand, “hey, don’t act stupid.”

I fight the urge to pull my hand away and scream at her to mind her own business. But she does try to calm me down. Why Stephanie, out of all people?

I offer Stephanie a small smile, “I won’t.” God, a smile for Stephanie. Will never happen again. In the mean time the arguing of Venus and the blonde girl turned into a fight.

“Someone needs to calm Venus down though,” quickly I add, “I’m not the right person for that.”

That’s the cue Marshall needed, she raises her voice to an authoritative tone, “there isn’t gonna be any fighting, for anyone.”

It’s probably the wisest for me to keep my mouth shut. Someone behind me tries to tell Venus some loving words. But apparently it doesn’t help because Venus gets up. She mumbles an ‘I’m sorry’ before she leaves. From the corner of my eye, I can see the blonde girl following Venus.

“Oh my god, Aada, you’re one of the last people I want to see.” Venus exclaims.

So blonde girl’s name is Aada, that’s important to remember. I will come back to that later.

A few minutes later, the first girl is called out for her interview. I can’t help but feel a little nervous. I keep telling myself that he is just a person. This helps me to push my nerves far faraway.

Then it’s my turn. I get up and walk as elegantly as possible to the place where I’m supposed to be going.

As soon as my eyes meet his, all my nerves disappear. His face is handsome and he seems friendly. The way he is sitting there, I can’t really put my finger on it, but it is kind of homely and reassuring.

When I get close enough, he gets up and bows, “Hello Lady Victoria, I’m Prince Nate.”

I make a small curtsy, trying to remember what Lady Collette’s curtsy looked like. Feeling proud with the result I say, “Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Before I know it my time is up. As I walk away from the Prince, I can hear him laughing at my last comment. It makes me smile.

God it’s the first day, stop smiling. I’m not the easy-going, always-happy kind of girl. I find my seat again, whilst trying to get my resting bitch face back. This will be an interesting ride.

I’m walking around the palace a bit when I spot the blonde girl from earlier in the garden. I have to set the record straight, show her not to cross me again.

“Hey, you’re Aada right?”

The girl looks up, “yes. I don’t remember your name, sorry, but I do remember you from this morning.”

“I’m Victoria.” A fake smile comes to my face, “and don’t worry about not remembering my name, I’ll make sure you’ll never forget it.”

Aada gives me a small smile, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m sorry about this morning by the way.”

Is she really trying to be all nice right now? “I appreciate your efforts this morning, but for next time don’t get involved in my business.”

“I wasn’t trying to. I just didn’t want either of you to get sent home.”

“How sweet. Don’t call me a child ever again.”

My statement obviously made her realize I am not going to back down. Therefore she drops the act of kindness. “There’s a difference between being a child and acting like one. However, if you’re going to get hung up on something so trivial perhaps we shouldn’t be speaking. I’m genuinely sorry, but you seem to not want my apology.”

When are people going to realize that I won’t back down without a fight. “Oh sweetie, I just wanted to make sure you know that you should not cross me.”

Aada might seem nice and innocent, but she definitely is not. “You know, I didn’t understand why Venus didn’t like you, but now I do.” She continues, “one of you has a decent chance to end up the next queen of Illéa. The other? Well, she’s standing right in front of me.”

Every muscle in my body tenses. “Wow, you really are a know-it-all. It’s interesting that you dare speak to me like that, where are your manners?”

“Well, meine Lieben, I have manners. I just don’t have respect for you.” Does she really have to throw in some German words? Annoying.

I offer her a smile, a sarcastic one indeed. “The feeling is mutual.”

“Oh, Bärchen, I don’t care about your opinion, so I don’t need your respect.” She smiles back condescendingly.

I really want to throw a chair in her face, “wow you keep surprising me, you seem so sweet but your personality isn’t that pretty.”

“I was raised by a woman just like you. I know a spoiled brat when I see one. You’ve never had to work a day in your life. Honestly, you’re probably shocked that you’ve been here nearly a full day and you don’t already have the crown on your head.”

Where’s a chair when you need one? “You’re cute, acting like you know me.” a fake smile spreads across my face, “guess what? You don’t know me. And you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“If I don’t know you then why are you getting so defensive? I feel sorry for you. Everyone deserves happiness. But it seems you still have quite a bit of searching to do.” Aada gives a small, but perfect curtsy and turns to walk away.

CHAIR!? “Because you’re attacking me,” I wave at her as she walks away, “see you later.”

Aada turns around for a moment, “perhaps you shouldn’t threaten people. And I don’t think we’ll be seeing one another. Best of luck.” At that she turns back and heads back towards the palace.

I sigh out of relief, that one won’t bother me anymore.

I walk back to my bedroom, where I find my maids. They look a bit awkward, something is off. “What’s wrong?” I ask.

They exchange a brief glare between each other. Wilda opens her mouth, but Nilje is faster. “We heard about your fights.” she blurts out.

That surprises me, I didn’t think word would spread around here so quickly. Before I can ask anything, Wilda jumps in “it isn’t our place to speak about that.” She shoots Nilje a warning glance. It obviously makes an impact because Nilje quickly turns around and starts organizing the little coffee table.

“You’re dismissed,” I say, “except for you Nilje.” Wilda and Aeki quietly disappear, I’m now left with Nilje. The girl’s face has gone pale and she looks as if she could start crying any moment. What kind of monster does she think I am?

“Don’t worry, nothing will happen,” I try to reassure her, “just tell me everything you’ve heard about my fights.”

Nilje looks confused, but then starts telling me everything. From the fight after the etiquette lesson this morning to my recent battle with Aada. She had overheard guards talking about. Good god, if the Prince finds out I will be kicked out immediately.

“What do I do?” I ask her, not sure if she knows a way to help me.

Nilje thinks for a moment, “stay out of fights, no more drama. And try to be nice to the other girls, it could be helpful to have some allies here.”

I nod my head, I know she is right. Who would have thought one of my maids would be the one to make me realize I need to change in order to have a fair chance in this selection.

After that I need some time alone to think.

A knock on my door startles me. Perhaps my maids forgot something. Or it could be a guard telling me I have to pack my stuff and leave.

My heart is beating a little faster than usual as I make my way over to my door. But when I open it, I’m surprised by who I see. Another selected. It’s Aubree Gram, I recognize her from some magazines. “Yes?” I ask, unsure of what she wants.

She walks into my room. “Hey sweet-cheeks, I have some horrible news for you. I was just torn over if I should tell you or not.” She sits down on my bed. Go ahead and invade my privacy. “On one hand hearing it may hurt you, but then if I didn’t tell you I’d be lying.”

Aubree is a toxic one, I can tell right away. “Like you care I something hurts me or not.” I sigh, “spill it.”

“Please I care about all of you girls. I’m such a major #feminist. I heard Addison and Fleur talking shit about you with Venus. Honestly, sometimes girls can be such condescending back stabbing bitches.”

Just like you. “And what makes you think I would believe anything you say?” I cross my arms.

“You don’t have to believe anything I say. I’m just a fellow selected trying to help a girl out.”

What’s wrong with me? Why is the drama always coming to me?

“How nice of you. What did they say about me then?”

Aubree has such a smug look on her face, like she is amazing. “They were talking about how you’re too much of a drama llama and shouldn’t have been so pissy over just a note. They’re embarrassed to be associated with you now.”

“And why would this hurt me? I couldn’t care less about them and their opinions.”

“I just thought you girls were friends. Suppose I was wrong.” She gets up to leave but stops right in front of and pats my head. I want to smack her hand away, but I have to remain calm. Don’t show any emotions. But then she says, “sleep well friendless.”

Thankfully she leaves right away, but that final comment stings. Nilje was right perhaps it would be convenient if I had some allies here.

#challenge one #victoria ryllie seaberg #selectionoc #c1

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