#this is very frustrating and to my trans friends and followers i am sorry this has happened?

[faun-the-fawn77]

could i request some insecure transmasc reader x angel dust where he tells (and shows) them that they don’t need a dick to make him feel good (he gets enough of that at work lol)

♡"𝒥𝒰𝒮𝒯 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒲𝒜𝒴 𝒴𝒪𝒰 𝒜𝑅𝐸"♡

Angel Dust x FTM!Sinner!Reader

Genre: Spice and Fluff

Word Count: 593

Warnings: insecurity, almost panic attack, angel being so sweet it hurt my teeth

Desc: Angel and Y/N had been dating for a few months now. On their anniversary, Angel had planned something special and hoped to get his boyfriend in bed with him. That seemed to backfire when insecurities from Y/N were brought to the surface.

Note: Oh boy lets see... I hope and pray that I have portrayed this right😭 I've never met a trans person in my area considering I live in Mormonville(no hate to those who are, I just get frustrated with them sometimes) and I don't know very much about them but I will try my hardest to write them out and try to understand their insecurities when it comes to this sorta stuff for fics!

Also! Be sure to check my pinned post! It has links to other things and tells you what I will and will not write! It also has a list of fandoms I am in so if you want more than just Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss then check it out! Here is the link: Faun's Forest

You would think that being with someone like Angel Dust would mean that sex was the reason the two started dating. That the sex was just so good that Angel wanted to have this demon for himself. That wasn't the case.

Y/N wasn't your every day sinner. He was shy and very much protective of his friends who he now considers his family. When he saw Angel storm off and out the doors one night, Y/N couldn't help but follow after the spider demon.

That night was what made Angel Dust open his eyes to this strangely nice sinner who had thought Charlie's redemption hotel worked. The two had quickly grew from friends to lovers within the span of a few months.

Today marked their third month anniversary and while Angel Dust was trying to go at his boyfriend's pace of the relationship, he couldn't help but notice that Y/N was holding something back. Angel wanted to find out what it was so he had planned a nice dinner and had made sure to purchase the sexiest lingerie for tonight. His plan was to seduce the information out of his boyfriend.

Y/N had genuinely enjoyed the dinner with Angel and was excited to see what else Angel had in store for the rest of the night. When thay had gotten back to the hotel, Angel ushered him up to their shared bedroom.

"Alright toots, I want you to turn your pretty ass around and wait till I call for you, kay?" Y/N nodded slowly and turned away from his lover. The rustling of clothes could be heard. Y/N sucked in a breath when the thoughts of being intimate with his lover rushed to mind. His hands started to shake and he could feel his chest tighten.

"Are you ready, handsome?" Angel placed his top hands on to his lover's shoulders and purred into their pointed ear. When the trembles vibrated through Angel's hands, he turned them around and saw the tears threatening to spill from his lover's eyes.

"Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Angel was worried. He's never seen Y/N like this. It was like he was on the verge of a panic attack. Angel brought his top hands up to cup his lover's cheeks and had his lower arms wrap around Y/N's waist.

"I know you said to take things slow and I promise I am. I just wanted to-"

"I'm sorry..." Y/N's voice was quiet, so quiet that Angel almost didn't hear him. He lifted Y/N's head so they made eye contact.

"Why you sorry? You have nothi-"

"I do! I don't... I can't please you with what I have..." Angel froze. He watched as Y/N curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around himself as if to appear smaller.

"Please me? Honey, I don't care if you have a dick or a vagina! I love you for you. I get enough of a dick down at work anyway!" Angel chuckled a bit at the last part and he could feel his boyfriend's body stop shaking. He pulled him into a hug.

"We don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to but, I want you to know that no matter what you have going on down there, I will love you always and will definitely find the pleasure I want from the person I love." Y/N sniffled and cuddled into the fluff on Angel's chest.

"Thank you... I love you too..."

Guys...not gonna lie, this was a tough one but I hope you enjoy! Another request fulfilled and hopefully many more to come!

Edit: Reqs for Hellaverse are closed:)

[tanihanya]

Please don't use pro voting rhetoric for the US election. The person you are asking people to vote for is a terf who wants to commit genocide.

Heya, sorry i've slept on replying to this for so long, but it's was difficult to know where to even begin. I will never not use "pro voting rhetoric" for any election. I understand who Harris is, I understand how the democratic party acts and how it has acted, I understand that voting in the democrats is just the same as voting in another middle-of-the-road conservative party who are going to continue horrific and atrocious policies, aren't going to represent their voters on protecting the middle easy, and aren't going to help minorities in any meaningful way. I am not pretending not to know this. I am not pretending that I like Kamala Harris, or want her to be the president of the US.

However, I do know that Trump is a lot worse. Trump follows all of these same issues but is more radical and further right than the democrats on all of them-- You know this, I'm not gonna waste time talking about how awful another trump administration would be, not just for the US, but other countries like mine, too.

I'm not asking for anyone to vote for someone they like--- Voting has never been about choosing the perfect or ideal candidate, very rarely do people actually vote for a president that they would support in any other circumstance, because that's how this system happens to work. Stop envisioning every election as a summary of your ideology or political viewpoint, and see it for what it is- Damage control. Voting is a bare minimum, and so much more needs to be done outside of voting in national elections alone. Not voting achieves nothing. We've seen how the democrats act-- if they lose this election, it won't punish them, in fact-- They'll just move further to the republican-created centre like they always do. No. If the democrats lose the election, they don't suffer- You're not hurting them- You're hurting the minorities that live in utter fear of another trump presidency. you're hurting the people of gaza worse than the slightly-preferable Harris administration

and yes!! this is awful!! This isn't okay at all!! it's okay to be really fuckn frustrated and angry at the fact you have to vote for genocide or genocide lite, but holyshit it is VITAL that you do!! Much more change is needed, but that is action to be taken outside of elections AS WELL AS within them. you can't just wait around for a revolution to happen-- nothing will change if you don't make it change, and Voting is the bare minimum for creating change. I do not claim it will make any more than negligible difference on it's own, just that in order to make any meaningful change, you have to at the very least be prepared to vote for someone awful over someone even worse. Don't accept the system given to you. don't accept the two terrible choices you are given. I agree with this. But not voting isn't doing that. It's just keeling over for the worse option. You're not leaving the game, you're just skipping your turn. Please, I beg you, vote for Harris next week. Vote reluctantly and do whatever you can before the next election to make the next candidate even a little more desirable. But still vote. Voting for Harris unfortunately doesn't mean that things will get better, but less minorities will end up dead. Voting is a tool, not a summary of your politics. Please Remember that. Please Vote. I'm begging you for my trans and black friends in the US. I'm begging you for my friends in my country, which US policy influences so deeply. I'm begging you for at least a chance of- not things getting better, but rather things not getting worse. Vote Now. Campaign and Protest and Riot, Later.

[frozenjokes]

i continued being unable to sleep so i continued shoving as much of your writing into my brain as possible, by which i mean i just read alllll of the mumbomaid au pretty much at once and am being Normal about it

i love them all, i love all of them so much, i'm very invested in their shenanigans, i love how almost nobody understands gender and they all misunderstand it differently

i am ALSO aro in the "no i don't have feelings for anybody, yes i would date basically any of my friends" way and everything surrounding scar's aromanticism is so well done, i kept being soo exasperated with grian and the like. the incredibly allo misunderstanding of aromanticism, and not listening when scar and cleo try to tell him he doesn't get it, i have friends i've had almost those exact conversations with (but slightly less messy because of varyious factors including but not limited to Not Being Desert Duo, Thank Fuck) just ajfhdjdhjshdjfsk

also also i love textbook monsterfucker scar and i'm convinced bdubs thinks etho grew up in a cult or some shit (i'm throwing words at this ask box like spaghetti)

anyway uh. i'm probably gonna keep wanting to say words about your fics as i keep reading them and the ao3 comment section scares me so. i will probably be back, feel free to tell me to buzz off if this is not a preferred communication method

-guy that said mapleshade=p!scar (maplescar? scarpleshade? there's gotta be something here, did i mention the sleep deprivation sorry if this is all insane rambling lmao)

maplescar is a really cool tortie kitty name I like that a lot. maplescar would go crazy. ALSO PLEASE KEEP SAYING WORDS!!!!! say words FORWVER!!!! spam my ao3 comments and I will respond to them 9/10 ten times!!!!!!! I love talking I love when people talk to me THANK YOU!!!!!! you could send me an ask every single time you finish a chapter and I would kiss you on the lips each time but my followers might be killing you with hammers so. Pick your poison.

yeah my favorite part of mumbomaid is that no one knows what a gender is and they misunderstand in all different ways you put it 100% perfectly. I also find Grian to be frustrating but he’s also a vessel to explore More Feelings and in his defense a little outside of complicated aro/allo interactions scar is a bit of an asshole. They are both assholes. Two guys they Will have their cake and they Will eat it too and they are exploding because of it. I too thank god every day I am not desert duo I! hate them. Generally though I do not feel bitter about allo misunderstandings of aromanticism because I spent 21 years of my life also not understanding. Which. Is the fault of a normative society. However. It is deeply difficult to understand the internal experience of someone who functions differently than you on a chemical level. This is a bit of a tangent but my mom and I’s ability to communicate has been drastically improved by the acceptance that I am autistic. She sees me and we reflect on my life together and it makes Sense that the way I experience the world is Different so whenever we talk about something my mom doesn’t understand in relation to me her mind is so open because she knows my perception of the world is not the same as hers. neurodivergence isn’t entirely related to queerness but it has genuinely opened up so many doors for our communication. she goes aromantic? oh yeah that makes sense. I think she catalogs it with the autism which is correct because to me autism and Every Other Way I Experience The World is related. This is say I have a very amusing experience with one of my trans friends where he was like: …so you’ve never questioned your gender,,, like…. Ever..? and I said nope. and he like couldn’t believe me. He did obviously but it’s the idea that our experiences are so integral to the people we are that it’s extremely difficult to imagine it any other way. can you tell I’m a psych major yet. what was I talking about.

I haven’t thought of exactly what bdubs thinks about etho’s past but it’s probably something like that. Deep down, it doesn’t really matter. Bdubs just wants to protect him. He’s so worried, but he just wants etho to feel safe.

lightly suggestive under the cut bc I talk about the monster fucking a little bit and I don’t know your age/if my elaboration is unwarranted I’m just talking. I’m here for a silly time not a sexy one.

monsterfucker scar is dear to me. extremely important. Grian will never be able to do to him the, frankly, deranged things he fantasizes about. they can try but the mood is going to be ruined when scar is like :( your tentacle dick isn’t real. and Grian is going to sigh with his dumbfuck strap and the blue curtains and lights they hung up to make it look like they were underwater. Their entire experience in the bedroom is going to be a series of extremely comedic extremely unfortunate events to make up for the fact that scar is never getting any fish pussy 😔 scar will be put off the mood because Grian just isn’t Convicning enough like COME ON if I don’t believe I’m going to die THEN what’s THE POINT??????? their home life is just increasingly deranged. grian has accepted that he will never be able to compete with the horrors of the ocean and you may think that’s a ‘but he’s still a little jealous though..’ but he’s not. He’s accepted it. Full acceptance. The kind of worn down you get from fishing for a mending book for weeks on end but without the agony and more just. Amused. goodtimeswithscar is going to die young and by drowning but you’d better believe he’ll do it in ecstasy.

[royall-ass]

sorry but i get so PISSED whenever people post videos to the “am i weird?” “yeah but so what everybodys weird” audio and theyre very clearly someone that isn’t considered ‘weird’. if i were to post that and then follow it up by one of my friends, sure maybe people wouldn’t immediately consider me weird because i do field hockey, but the people that do know me and have been assholes to me would agree!!! when i thought i was trans in seventh grade and got bullied for it so hard that i was embarrassed and decided to tell everyone i lied, even though i did think that was who i was (i realized im not but still!!! didnt have to be assholes!!!)? or what about when i had a ninja turtle keychain on my backpack and got teased about it for a week? i bet you all of the basic white girls that post those videos just talk a little bit and consdier themselves weird after they get praised by half the fucking ppl in their comments.

im sorry if im coming off as insensitive and if anyone that could be considered basic is posting it for other reasons, again, sorry, im just. frustrated. esp when its ppl that make fun of me for being weird that post shit like that.

[katyspersonal]

Answering some asks in a bundle

...........off to a terrible start, I see...

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Pfffffttt gdfgfd Well, congratulations on "winning", I guess? xD Again, it is really sad how even since the DLC for Elden Ring got announced, fandomry and theories turned into sort of 'betting on a horse' rather than genuine fun and just doing your own thing. 🤦‍♂️

But when it comes to this, I personally like it better when the weaker side, or the side that deals with more toxicity, finally gets vindicated! In this case, people wanting any kind of not-so-kind Miquella, people wanting more charitable justifications of Mohg and.... yeah, Radahn fans. All of which contradicted my own analyses and headcanons, but considering what kinda shit all of these guys had to put up with in the fandom.... yeahhhh, I've never been happier to be wrong! xD *says a person who had two weeks long crisis over Miquella ACTUALLY falling from grace fhhsd*

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August 23rd?? Anon, this ask turned out to be eerly prophetic, because... well, you probably saw why. 🙄

Okay if not, long story short, my friend @val-of-the-north made a based post against people approving of Hornsent genocide that had to touch upon "savagery and evil Marika did in the base game" collaterally, one person wanted to excuse not only Hornsent genocide (saying maybe it was all an attempt to stop the Omen curse) but ALSO Fire Giants genocide for a good measure (saying they were territorial aggressors and war criminals anyways), a blog that has more followers than there are gamers mad at inclusive customization option in videogames reblogged with passionate agreement and added that Fire Giants being killed also was a mercy because they were just slaves to Fell God anyway.......... ( x )

Also yes, you are ABSOLUTELY correct! I DO think that it was a good thing that SOTE revealed many people's true faces regarding some topics! I am always up and supportive for truth showing up, even if it is ugly, even if you might yearn for previous ""peace"" in the fandom and gone illusion of decency of fellow fans! Would you really want things to go back to how they've been before SOTE? To cheerfully coexist near the people that think extermination of """savage races""" is """net-positive""" and not know?

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The fact that these asks appeared just when I went on hiatus?! And this previous one with anon not liking someone's take on Messmer cursing Marika?! What did I miss?

Okay fine, I suspect all three are from the same person, you xD But yeah, I could have imagined, I guess? I assume something similar could be happening with Ranni fans - taking someone hating her as "god forbid women do anything" matter!

It is really frustrating how it happens with every other war criminal female character! See, people will insist that existence of a female character who has done awful things or even war crimes is some powerful statement for feminism, and so, if you are not celebrating the very fact that female character did a bad thing then you are the WORST because you are not contributing! >:( Like, girls, don't worry, I have NOT forgotten that women ARE capable of doing evil...... not around toxic women like YOU!

Sorry fsdjdfshhfds People should stop treating someone disliking a fictional character as a personal attack on all their values and struggles. See, some are SO preoccupied with perceiving a character as a +1 in problems of feminism, inclusivity and representation, that characters who are female/not white/gay/trans/etc are no longer characters to be analysed and criticised. They are "statements". 🙄 🤦‍♂️

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Pffffffttfdt @cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme

I am happy that my posts instantly captivate you! xDDD But you don't need to JUST focus on me! Other people also have very interesting things to say! For example, I am sure @heraldofcrow has many interesting essays and analyses to share.... unless they're about Sephiroth because then I am NOT reading that fdghfgsdf

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It looks worrysome, is this another Sephiroth trolling? No, I really don't think they've gotten so unoriginal as to send me videos...

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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@mushroomwithsomeink THESE ASKS ARE STILL COMING!!!!!!

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Awwww @fantomette22 Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts! I am not in the mood for the ask chains for now, but same to you too! Your blog is such a good presense in the fandom, always having such genuine humor and passion for everything! And I swear you have the biggest academical and historical knowledge out of the whole Lore Council! I don't know how you always capture the characters so perfectly, every time you write someone they kind of leap off the page x) Also I am really glad that I am not the only one frying my brain trying to draw the characters in the way that includes EVERY detail of their stupid elaborate designs fhhfdhfsd

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Thank you for the warm welcome @velvet-apricots! And I was glad to see that you still like Midra and Ansbach month later! XD

Unfortunately, I am still not quite ready to come back! I am working much more than I used to for the same salary and there is no way to change that in the near future.. My mental health got better, but physical not so much, so I have to choose what I allow to stress me very carefully! It is like if in a videogame I ran out of healing items but it was eternity until the next checkpoint, so I can't JUST run around and attack ANY enemy! However, attempt to ratio Val's based post as "just another poorly researched Marika slander and hate" earned me crawling out of the safe spot for a bit, so why not also post something else? XD *voice of a guy that had to cry over Messmer*

It is okay though, I am sure I'll be in the better place in life, but only if I struggle through this hard path. I miss being autistic online! Also fun fact: the first thing I received when I logged back was a bot offering me to buy drugs. Come onnnnn, it should be obvious from my lore posts that I've already had enoughf hfhdgfsh

[cuntyglam]

hi! sorry in advance if this is bothersome, like fr feel free to just delete if you’d like, but for some reason your ask box seems like a good place to go to talk about this? anyway, that “lovingly help her transition” post has me thinking about transfem butch zoro again & just, like, yes sexy muscle woman blah blah but also honestly it just adds several really interesting layers to zoro’s relationship with women, as well as her relationship with strength itself that don’t really get discussed in conjunction with that headcanon & it’s a travesty fr. like, the way she hears kuina- a girl who will come to be the baseline for zoro’s view of strength for the rest of her life in someways- struggle with internalized misogyny as a result of their environment goes from something that frustrates zoro as it relates to his own strength to something that frustrates her on a much more nuanced level because, though zoro may or may not be aware she’s trans yet, if she can’t beat kuina, & kuina can’t be the strongest because she’s a woman, then what hope does zoro have? & that’s not going into the ways that the rhetoric placing any win specifically on zoro��s body rather than skill could be a huge source of dysphoria, & honestly i think that both of those would follow zoro for quite a long time in the context of her being transfem? but it also adds another layer to her taking on kuina’s dream as part of her own- like it was meant to be a pair of women fighting for the title & now that it can’t be zoro would feel like a more gendered? ig? responsibility to take the title on top of just the more directly interpersonal stuff. & it’s also a reading that i think has a very interesting impact on her whole thing with tashigi because i think both in canon & in this context part of what frustrates zoro so much about her is, for all she looks like kuina, she in many ways lacks kuina’s resolve or desire to prove her own strength. for all tashigi is very clearly (rightfully) outraged by the misogynistic expectations placed upon her, we very rarely see any desire from her to better herself for her own sake or in spite of those expectations (though the scene at the end of alabasta is a noteworthy exception) & like where in canon i think zoro tends to fuck with her because of it in a way that’s a tad more spiteful & demeaning, i think in a transfem reading of zoro it’s a bit more like… genuine indignation over how much of her ability to move through the world tashigi is willing to give up as a result of those expectations in comparison to her actual capacity. like it goes from “you wear the face of my dead friend who has come to be definitional to my person while in some ways being antithetical to her existence, & so i am fine talking down to you” -> “you are allowing the expectations placed upon us as women to hold you back & wasting the chances to do better never knowing when you’re gonna die & you can’t even see it. my best friend was willing to fight for it as a very young girl before death caught her, i’ve had to fight for it my whole life, what the hell are you doing to yourself?” & then there’s tashigi’s insistence on zoro’s disconnect being a result of being biologically male… like tashigi goes from irritating to triggering for zoro in a way. & with strength it’s like… kuina defined both strength & girlhood for zoro in a way that is incomparable to any impact anybody else has ever had on her, but the blueprint was cut off before completion, & now zoro is having to figure it out all on her own. & her commitment to being herself takes on a role that’s just as large as her commitment to strength, if not outright merging the ideas in a far more direct way than canon itself. to be the strongest swords(wo)man she has to be a woman who is herself who is able to carry the people she loves for the girl that taught her all this in the first place, yk? plus it just adds a cute layer of solidarity to everything going on with zoro & okiku. anyway sorry if this is too long or irritating or incoherent, just wanted to say butch transfem zoro rights!

oh my gods this is fantastic you need to write an essay NEOW. i’ve always headcanoned zoro as trans masc just because they feel very trans masc to me, and i’ve also headcanoned kuina as someone who may have been trans masc if they were able to grow up, but i really love this interpretation !! it’s just so fantastic, and i really love it. you could do debates or something fr. while i’ve always interpreted their relationship with women and misogyny in a transmasc light it’s so cool to see that reflected on a transfem zoro. i don’t know why i’ve never thought about it but i adore it !!

[the-rodent-of-shalott]

@grungekitty-77 I have a story that I think relates to this, and tangentially to another post about how calling out members of a community / minority doesn't actually mean you think EVERYONE in that community is bad.

Long rambling post ahead, sorry! My apologies to the OPs in question if this reads as unrelated rambling - your posts just gave me the language to fully process and reflect on this hobby space anecdote.

Anyway - the preamble. A few years ago I found myself being bombarded with polarizing posts and videos of all sorts of topics with different sides yelling at each other on social media, everything from 'are vegans evil, are omnivores evil', to 'interracial relationships are wrong, interracial adoption is wrong', and the ever-ready 'white people are demonic and should pay reparations because slavery happened'. This was (and is) very disheartening to witness, so in my frustration at the time I put together a DNI for my tumblr description which stated that I do not want interaction from anyone who proposes that caucasians are racists by default, that reparations should be a thing, if you think men can't be victims of domestic abuse, non-vegans hate animals, media and fiction should be censored etc ' It was pretty much a blanket DNI for radical beliefs and discourse of any kind to protect my mental health, and it sat there peacefully for three years.

Until I ended up on a roleplay drama confessions blog in the roleplay community here on tumblr (yes, I know, old woman with hobbies, haha). At the time of me following, I at first had the impression it was a relatively peaceful blog for getting things off your chest related to this hobby, however I soon realized that was not the case once I saw that every reply to every confession gets posted, having the blog quickly descend into petty flamewars and witchhunts over which roleplayers, opinions and ad blogs are bad, don't post quick enough or post the wrong things, the use of epithets in writing, the morality of monsterfucking...Pretty much every day was a new drama and followers openly, repeatedly admitted they enjoyed it being that way. I once stood up non-anonymously for a friend of mine who was getting hassled, because I wanted her to have encouragement during a hard time in her personal life, and to see that people are willing to defend her. This put a target on my back. I was now 'cringe' for protecting a 'cringe' friend and, of course, people also found the DNI on my blog. I was suddenly an 'ugly racist', and blocked by more people in a space of days than I have been in over a decade of being on this site. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but if you think ALL people of color are ALWAYS right about everything no matter what and ALL white people are ALWAYS wrong (and that even monsterfucking is racist and I am DEFINITELY racist for agreeing with a user saying it isn't), then you are the problem and are indirectly contributing to the racial divide and the ongoing anger of the far-right. I understand not wanting to discriminate and think it's admirable. But -

I'm disabled. If we apply the 'disadvantaged / minority peoples are always right and should be believed and not questioned', then by that logic you should also not be able to question me - because I'm disabled. But that is the wrong conclusion to draw. You should be able to question and dislike me. I DO think that white guilt, opposing interracial relationships and adoption and any such adjacent rhetoric dangerously advances the racial divide, and I DO think people should be judged by individual merit rather than statistic markers like race, gender, nationality, economic standing, etc etc.

Where has moral judgment based on these external markers led us before? ''Who's going to believe you, you're a man [for male victims of abuse] woman / child / poor / black / a jew/ trans / disabled / mentally ill?'' We've been there before, we are largely still there now in varying degrees across the globe - do we really want the pendulum to swing all the way back around? The way forward is in unity, not division. Otherwise, what natural conclusion is the 'white vs black' rhetoric going to lead to? Happy interracial couples breaking apart underneath the weight of ''morally right'' white guilt? Adopted black children being taken away from loving white parents and returned to the foster system? Furthermore, the idea that people of color are always right is, in itself rooted in racism. Black people / mixed people / Asians (and the LGBTQ, disabled etc) are not a monolith all sharing one thought and experience, and to default assume a black or gay person's opinion and / or devalue it as 'wrong' if it somehow differs from X, Y, Z other opinion, is, in itself, racist. So which POC / gay person has the ''correct, good'' opinion among the natural multitude of opinions? We've reached a point of ''social quick consumption'' in which a person's appearance often quickly creates assumptions about their character and beliefs - something completely antithetical to racial equality as it's basically racial profiling 2.0. It's all too often that I've seen and heard about minorities receiving vitriol and accusations of bigotry online and in traditional media (including from other POC!) because their opinion does not fit the current mainstream in some way. You can't shame someone into being [your idea of] a good person, and sometimes people are just dicks, and sometimes the dick person is a minority. I love people of color - that doesn't mean I love every person of color [or insert other group / community here] - and that should not be a controversial take. Cancel culture and the fear around it [cancel or be canceled, and be thought of as a bad person] has become a death march to nuance, but don't let it be the death toll of critical thinking skills.

Everybody can be a dick! I'm a dick sometimes too! Everybody can be great! No one is, or should be deemed to be right or wrong by default every time all the time! That's equality!

As for me, I've gained insight on what kind of hobby spaces I'd rather avoid, and perspective that has made me realize my frustration from years ago perhaps made the DNI on my blog sound too needlessly oppositional and hostile. :)

And yes, by all means, you can still dislike me!

Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.

It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.

Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.

Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.

Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)

Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!

You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!

If you want it in a simple phrase:

You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.

[hjellacott]

I can't tell you how to BE a woman I just AM?

Like, I keep reading all these pople (mostly trans) saying what it means to be a woman, and I've had trans friends asking me how to be more of a woman but I just... For example, let me ask you, how are you able to see? We all have eyes, but some people can see, others can't. Why? How do you do it? How do you look at your garden and perceive colours? How are you not colourblind? Well, if we don't go into full scientific answers, the only answer you could give is, I just do. I just am. It just happens, right?

The same for women. When you ARE, you don't need to put effort into BECOMING. And there's no clear recipe for womanhood. Some women wear make-up, others don't, some have long hair, others don't, some have jewellery, others don't even use earrings, some like dresses and heels, many prefer trousers and sports shoes, some are curvaceous, some aren't, some have breasts and ovaries, some don't.

We can become more femme, more butch, more androginous... but women, we just are. And there are lots of scientific reasons for this (for example, having ovaries means your ovaries are going to release certain hormones that are going to make you function differently, but also there are countless others, including, as scientists have shown, differences in the very BRAIN), but if you don't want to get into the science, the answer is simply, I am a woman, because I am. Because I can't be anything else. I don't know how to be anything else. I wasn't born as anything else. I wake up in the morning and I'm a woman, and I go to bed, and I am a woman. And this happens even if I ever get annoyed for being a woman (and I will when I'm bleeding on my period and getting frustrated AF) and wish for a simpler life. Like, my body is not going to ask me for permission to be a woman, it'll just be. And trans women are trans women precisely because they can't just wake up and be women, they have to go long lengths to look in a way they can identify as their own version of what a woman is supposed to look like.

So what I say to my trans friends is just, wear whatever makes you happy. If you've been dreaming with having a long hair and make-up and wearing heels all the time, fine, go on, but like... Sometimes if all of us girls are going out, the MtF will be the ONLY one looking like that and the rest of us will just be in jeans, sweatshirts and sports shoes or sandals. And I get it frustrates them because they're trying to find a uniform to be a woman and then they go with what they think will do it, and the rest of us don't follow, but unless we pre-agree on our outfits in advance, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do but to say, wear whatever you're comfortable wearing.

Trans women get judged because we see a PORTRAYAL of woman, much like playing a character that we know well and love, and then this person comes and interprets it in a whole other way that we might not like, and that's when we're like, hold on, are you fetishizing us? are you having completely wrong ideas of what a woman is? are you just excited to be able to touch your own boobs? Like, one of my trans MtF friends, when she identified as a gay man, she used to like to touch our (cis female friends) boobs, and now she touches her own. Whereas women are never going to question how much of a women fellow cisgender women are, because none of us is portraying, "passing", "acting"... We're just behaving in our most natural, normal way, and we understand our fellow women are doing the same thing.

I feel like that's why whenever I read about MtF getting excited about their new women bodies after surgery and hormonal treatments, I get very uncomfortable. Because I'm not looking at a friend saying "my God, I'm pretty". No. MtF will talk about their excitement touching their breasts, playing with them... And that's insanely sexual, so of course it makes us uncomfortable. When you treat bodies that... Well, that are our bodies too (in the sense of having similar features, such as breasts), in such a sexual way, we're seeing how YOU see US, and we obviously feel like mere sexual objects. And that is not a comfortable experience.

So to be clear, specially since a male friend asked me about what it feels like to have breasts: we (cis women) DO NOT make a big deal out of having breasts. They're there, we're aware of their existence, and we only touch them when we want to have an orgasm (and only if we feel like it), or when we're washing up or putting a bra on. Sometimes we look at them and think "ok, nice", but often times we're just like "fucking hell, I just bought you this bra, why won't you like it any more?". But that's about it. Like, I don't know, do you think a lot about your earlobes? probably not. Well, that's the same for women, we lost our fascination for breasts about two minutes after we got them.

This is not to say that we don't admire our bodies and our looks. Of course we do. I'd be lying if I pretended like I don't sometimes stare at myself naked with some kind of pride. But you won't see me writing a post any-fucking-where commenting about how I enjoy touching myself. And although I can understand MtF getting excited about the novelty... please, at least if you're talking to us, consider for us boobs and other body parts aren't toys, uh? Like, imagine trying to pretend to be black just for aesthetics or something. You can imagine actual black people would take offence in you using their colour, for which they get marginalised and sometimes, murdered, as a fashion trend to have fun with right? Well, similarly, we might take offence if our breasts, for which we're often subjected to harassment and sexual abuse, are perceived kind of like as exciting new toys.

[gayzuko]

ok i know i joked in the tags of the ask mel got but i’m actually upset by it and hate the idea people think that way about me so i guess i should clarify:

i am not a terf. trans women are my sisters, i love and respect them and believe they are essential to feminism. trans liberation is very important to me.

i think where people have got confused is that i do also talk about and agree with a lot of (trans inclusive!) radical feminist theory. i think it’s really important to acknowledge radical feminism’s trans inclusive past. i don’t think it’s productive to use terf and radfem as synonyms when historically and currently they absolutely are not! many many many radical feminists have been fighting for trans rights for decades and i think it’s super diminishing to their (incredible) achievements to act like trans exclusion is inherent to radical feminism. the term “terf” was coined in the first place by radfems to distinguish transmisogynistic radical feminists from trans inclusive radical feminists, who actively condemned trans exclusion. i will add some sources when i’m on desktop, or if you want me to expand on this feel free to drop me an ask.

this is something i talk about both irl and online because 1) it’s important to me, as a trans ally and feminist and 2) trans inclusive radical feminism is a huge part of my masters dissertation, so i am currently researching and writing about it a lot, and therefore thinking about it a lot

but basically - if you assumed i am transphobic because you’ve seen me talk about radical feminism (or, more likely, seen me reblog from people who talk about radical feminism (who are also, btw, actively and passionately trans inclusive)) - that is not the case - my feminism (and all of my beliefs) are 100% inclusive of trans women.

[notabled-noodle]

Hello, sorry to bother

This might upset you! Don't read it if you're having a bad day.

I'm not comfortable stating my disability but I struggle with lots of things that are easy for normal people

I read your post* about neopronouns (from June 7th) and it made me cry. (In a good way!!) I feel terrible about my disorder already for so many reasons, it's not one that's easy to understand. Most of my close friends don't understand it, but they respect it, and that's all I think I can ask from them.

In summary though, I can't do a lot of things that are easy for most people, and what I can do that is easy for most people I usually have to do differently.

I'm sorry for saying so much, I just want you to understand.

Anyway, I was wondering what I can do in situations where people only use neopronouns? I follow many blogs with people who do and I really like them, but they often get angry because of people who don't use them. Which I understand, I am transsexual myself.

I just don't know what to do. If I ask for others, they get mad, if I call them by just their names, they get mad. I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't know what to do. And I don't think it's their fault, I get being mad about that sort of thing, growing up I was bullied for being trans too.

I try really hard to do everything well, especially online, because online people won't be able to tell something's wrong with me very easily. This is something I just can't do. I can't read full books. I have to have a teacher explain what most phrases mean when we read short passages. I struggle with comprehension and processing and a lot of basic English. I can't do better here and I feel awful about it.

I feel like explaining that I can't because I'm disabled will make them angry or I've had two say that they're disabled too and they can still do it. I'm frustrated and upset.

What do I do? When ever I ask for advice it's something I've already tried (above) and I feel like you'll know.

I'm sorry to bother you, again. I hope you have a really good day.

If this ask made you angry please don't post it to yell at me, just delete it and move on.

* The post basically said "some people can't understand neo pronouns because they're disabled and that's okay"

hello! firstly, I want to reassure you and anyone else who may be reading this that I would never answer a good-faith ask just to yell at the asker. I also want to say that anyone who struggles with neopronouns is not a bad person. you’re allowed to struggle.

most neopronoun users have auxiliary pronouns. if you’re a neopronoun user who is reading this, I urge you to think about what your auxiliary pronouns are — what’s your preference for if someone can’t use your neopronouns?

back to anon — it isn’t disrespectful to say “my disability makes language hard and I don’t understand neopronouns. do you have alternatives?”. if someone gets mad at you for that, they clearly don’t understand the complexities of disability. that’s on them, not on you.

I also don’t think it’s disrespectful to just… not? as in, a lot of the times when I’m communicating with someone online, I don’t use their name or pronouns at all. if I’m talking to them directly, I can usually say “you”. if I’m talking to someone else about them, it’s usually fine to just use the person’s name. I really don’t see how someone could get mad about that.

I know that’s basically the same as what you’ve already tried, but beyond that I’m stumped! it’s a really difficult thing to navigate! (and once again, I ask neopronoun users to try their best to be polite to disabled people!)

TLDR; I’m really not sure, but I don’t see why someone should get angry if you just use their name or if you ask about auxiliary pronouns politely

[tendercoretroglodyke]

... I’m interested in legitimately gay Reese (I assume one piece of evidence is “look at what they’re doing and tell me you’re not gay”)

okay this is like 2 days late but this is why reese malcolminthemiddle is legitimately gay:

(side note: did anyone need a queer media thesis paper or something... I am willing to share lmao)

so none of this is like... rock solid evidence or anything but I need to believe at least one main character of a show is gay and/or trans to maintain interest and reese is the most plausible gay character. also it’s early 2000′s so he just gets a lot of vaguely homophobic jokes lmao

first of all, yes, the biggest piece of evidence he’s gay is those lines from that episode I quoted the other day--thinking malcolm is gay, he tries to show his support by giving him a gay porno: “’Naught Pool Boys 3!’ I watched 10 or 12 of these, and this one seems to have the most stuff you guys like.” and when malcolm says he isn’t gay, reese responds “Malcolm. Check out what those guys are doing in that movie, and THEN tell me you’re not gay.”-- so, 1) reese sat down and watched like a dozen gay porn movies to ““find a good one for his gay brother”” and 2) he thinks malcolm would reconsider his heterosexuality if he watched what was in that movie, implying that HE reconsidered his sexuality after watching that movie, or at the very least found it hot

in the same episode, the character tricking malcolm into thinking reese is gay lists the following as evidence: he obsesses over his hair and his looks, loves his gourmet cooking, has a bunch of magazines covered in comically muscular men, and that he’s angry and acts like a jerk because he’s “dealing with something weird and confusing.” now obviously, the obsession with hair/looks can be chalked up to the fact that he’s a teenage boy, and there’s nothing inherently gay about enjoying cooking. the dozen magazines of muscle-bound men could certainly be taken as gay evidence, though, and it IS established in the show that his entire bully persona is his way of masking his inner feelings and insecurities. there’s literally a whole episode where he & malcolm realize they have no friends because they act like little shits to push people away because they’re afraid of rejection and/or abandonment from their peers. they ostracize themselves before they can be ostracized by the other students at school. I could probably write a whole other essay on reese’s psyche tbqh lmao there’s a shocking amount there!!

of the brothers who are actually old enough to be attracted to girls (reese, malcolm, and francis), he shows the least interest. now bear with me here. you might be thinking, “well, yeah, it’s malcolm’s show, we’re not gonna see things from other people’s perspective!” but that is actually surprisingly untrue, the show is very much equally shown from each family members’ perspectives. starting about s2, when malcolm is in early middle school, he starts getting crushes on girls and pursuing them. francis goes after a few women in the first couple seasons and then marries a woman we see a lot throughout the show. 

in the roughly... 130?? episodes I have watched so far, nearly all of reese’s “interest” in girls involve either: competition with malcolm, genuinely just liking her as a friend, or some completely ulterior motive. the only exception to this I can think of is in the early seasons where he has a crush on a cheerleader and tries to get on her good side by joining the cheerleading squad, which the writers clearly set up as a way to make gay jokes about reese. let me give you a few examples of his relationships with girls

the first relationship we see him in is with a “stupid girl” that malcolm tried (and failed) to date, and the main reason they get together is that they think on the same wavelength and genuinely seem to enjoy hanging out. they take breaks from their bro chats to make out every once in a while. eventually he gets her to break up with him because he doesn’t want to go to the school dance with her (he doesn’t want to go at all). years later, he’s dating some girl we meet for like 5 minutes, before he goes to confess to her that she’s the first girl he’s ever loved. she then breaks up with him. he’s sad, but taking it fairly well. he’s about to leave when he sees malcolm hiding under the bed, and learns that he stole his girlfriend. he then runs away to join the army. he was clearly MUCH more upset that his brother stole his girlfriend than he was that his girlfriend broke up with him. there are many more instances of him and malcolm competing for a girl’s affections, and he seems mostly motivated by the competition itself.

in addition to “stupid girl,” he also manufactures an “attraction” to his female army buddy in the last season. the premise of this episode is that his old army buddy (a girl he play-wrestles with and insults like he would his own brothers) comes to visit him, and malcolm convinces reese that she’s attracted to him, and that reese’s nervousness at learning that fact is proof he’s in love with her. there’s a misunderstanding where reese asks her if she has certain “feelings” and she says she does, but what she ACTUALLY means is that she has a crush on reese’s MOM. she’s a lesbian. reese later propositions her (saying he’s saved his virginity for this--he’s probably about 18 here), and when she says omg no im gay, he is HUGELY relieved they can go back to being friends. CLASSIC mlm/wlw friendship moment. 

there’s an episode where these cute girls pick up reese (& nerds) to kiss in front of their boyfriends to make them jealous. reese is all for it, and when malcolm argues that it’s not worth his dignity and the beating he’ll get from the girl’s boyfriend, reese counters that that’s WHY he wants to do this--he’s completely invisible at school, and thinks getting beaten up for kissing some guy’s girlfriend will at least make him known around school. at no point does he indicate he’s actually attracted to this girl, and when it comes time to kiss her, he finds the weakest excuse to run away at the last minute. 

im not gonna list all of these but there’s more lmao

the following is a random assortment of one-off gay jokes and out-of-context lines with gay reese implications, often homophobically bc its early 2000′s writing:

says “I’m gay” to a girl to give malcolm a better shot at her

(again in competition with malcolm) tries to flirt with a girl by spraying milk in her face as the punchline to a joke, which is. well. hm. self-sabotaging, to say the least!!

Reese: “Do you think it’s right to totally change who you are and turn your back on EVERYTHING you believe in, just to impress a hot guy??” [his dad gives a long, blank stare, before asking:] “...Burt Reynolds hot, or Sting hot?”

“YEAH I like clouds! I call them sky kittens :)” (I just think that one’s sweet!)

“Look, Christie, here’s the thing. When I first met you, I was just messing around. But we’ve gotten so close that, now... I really like you! I can’t keep this up anymore. I’m not the person you think I am. I’ve been pretending since the day I met you. It’s so hard having to constantly cover my tracks to keep my story straight... and I don’t WANT to anymore! I’m tired of living this lie! I’m done with it. I’m sorry.”

he catfishes some guy to blackmail him, but is implied to continue the flirtation even after the catfishing/blackmail is revealed

reese is, technically, married to a man. this particular plot point is played as a joke and manages to be both racist and homophobic, so I won’t go into it. but I believe he is still married to that man. technically.

reese takes care of a huge box full of caterpillars until they pupate and become beautiful butterflies. I feel like there’s some kind of gay coming out metaphor here somewhere.

I think there are a couple other times where he comments on a guy’s attractiveness but I couldn’t find specific instances.

In conclusion: Reese is a deeply repressed gay kid who was socialized SO thoroughly as an early 2000′s straight boy that, despite his attraction for men and his obvious compulsory heterosexuality, he still cannot admit to himself that he is gay even as he enters adulthood. Furthermore, his subconscious frustration about this fact is turned outward to form the “schoolyard bully” costume he uses to mask his insecurities and keep others from getting too close to him. 

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. I could be convinced to come back for another talk about how Dewey is trans or about how each and every member of that family is neurodivergent in entirely different ways. Assuming anyone has read this far in the first place!!

[with-my-murder-flute]

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about.  Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof.  I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia.  Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted. 

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences. 

I wish this could have worked out differently.

[gremlin-writes-angst]

The Three Kingdoms

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

TW: Homophobia, internalized homophobia, implied transphobia(very brief), religious trauma

If I missed a trigger or if you spot a spelling mistake, please let me know. Feedback is encouraged.

Click here if you want to see more of my work and follow me for even more!

There was so much going on and yet it wasn't overwhelming, it was almost perfect. There were sounds of people happily chatting, wedding bells, and songs slightly louder played in the distance. The colorful glass from the church window shined on the people in the church. The church was packed for a royal wedding and at the altar, there was prince Kaminari but instead of a beautiful bride opposite him, there was a handsome knight from the enemy kingdom. The priest started the ceremony, the two grooms said their vows and kissed. It was anything less than magical. The priest began to announce the kingdoms’ new rulers.

"Lady's and Gent’s I introduce to you, your new Kings. King Denki Kaminari and King Eijiro Kiris--"

Before the priest finished his announcement the large church doors were opened and the...priest who was previously standing next to the kings, had teleported to the church’s entrance.

" I will not follow the rule of sinners like you" 

Suddenly all the happy wedding goers disappeared and reappeared behind the angry priest, joining him in ridiculing of the two kings

"We will not follow the devil"

"Our prince has been tainted by the devil"

The priest raises his hand and the crowd quiets down, Denki questions the priest

"What are you doing? You were just announcing us as the new kings and know you're over there protesting our marriage? YOU’RE THE MARRIAGE OFFICIANT?"

The priest ignored his King’s questions.

" Denki listen to me, the thing you married is the devil, he used his powers to make you believe you love him, but I know that you could never fall for another man. I can help you, just come to my side and I can exorcise that demon." 

The priest offers his hand out, then the rest of the people behind him do the same.

" Denki, they're lying, you know that they are trying to get in your head. I do love and you love me." 

Kirishima stood closer to Denki, also offering his hand to Denki. Denki looked between the two choices, he looks at the priest’s group, he sees his friends and family inside the crowd, telling him that the love of his life is the devil and he knows that they'll leave him if he stays with Kirishima. Could they be right? Did he love Kirishima, or was it just a trick? He meant every word of what he said in his vows, he spent days on his vows, he wanted to make sure Kirishima knew how much he loved him.  So they were wrong, he did love Kirishima, their love for each other was no trick. But if he chooses Kirishima he’ll lose all his friends, family, and his whole kingdom. Denki stressed over who to choose, the mob became louder and more aggressive while he thought but before he could make a choice, Denki woke up.

A dream? A nightmare? Why was I getting married, to a man, to a knight from the enemy kingdom? Why was I married to Eijiro Kirishima? It was a stupid dream, I would never marry a man, the kingdom was right, Eijiro Kirishima was the devil, the dream must be a warning to avoid the knight in the cellar. It can't be that hard, he’s just in the cellar that's in the basement dungeon, the key to said dungeon door was on the wall and the guard was always asleep. Ok, this was going to be hard, it's just too easy not to visit the Red Riot.

The day goes by quickly, but then night falls and I remember how easy it is to get to the cellar, how my dream is just a dream. How handsome the knight is. How sweet his voice is. How he waits up for me. How he stopped me from hitting my head. Before I knew it I was in front of the dungeon door with the keys in hand, but the thought of losing everything I know stopped me from going down. I silently returned the keys and went back to my room and slept, the dream repeated that night, and yet the pressure to choose felt even more stressful.

It was dusk again, I don’t remember the hours before now, but I was back at the door with the keys. I stand there for a while until eventually, I think

“It was just a dream.” 

So I unlock the door and descend down the stairs. Every step I take makes me more anxious, I repeat to myself that it was just a dream, my friends won’t leave me, I won’t be banished. I mean it doesn’t even make sense, I would never marry a guy, especially that brute in our dungeon, I barely even know him, and it's sinful.

“Then why are you going to see him?”

It’s a question in the back of my mind, and I don’t have an answer. It’s definitely not because he has a smooth husky voice or his muscular body, and it has nothing to do with his caring words that match his action. I am broken from my thoughts when said husky voice speaks

“If you keep walking you’ll end up hitting the wall”

I must have been so caught in thought because he was right, I walked right past him and was about to walk into the wall. I stay facing this wall, I wasn’t ready to face him, I mean I married him twice in my dreams, it is disgusting.

“Thanks, I guess”

“ No problem but are you going to turn around, I mean it’s kind of weird talking to the back of your head, especially when the front is so beautiful.”

I forget about the dream and why I was reluctant to turn around and l whip my body around and march towards his cell while accusing him of my dream.

“It’s your fault, you’re the reason, I’m not the evil one, it’s because you’re the devil. You sit there and you spew compliments at me, another man, from a rivaling kingdom, such words should be said to a woman!”

“ Sorry if I offended you, I was just telling the truth and if it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop but I thought it was mutual” “What in the hell gave you that idea”

“uh the lustful gaze you keep giving me”

“Lus-lustful gaze, I do no such thing, and especially not to you”

“So then what was that look on your face when you heard my voice, why did you constantly look at my arms like they were turkey legs”

“ it -it - it was ugggg”

“Because that’s the same look the women give me…which is unfortunate for them because I’ve only ever looked at men with such a gaze.”

“ But that’s sinful, you are tainted, I should leave and never return.”

I walk to the stairwell with the full intent of doing what I just said.

“That won’t stop the feelings you are having”

I turn back around, full of frustration, I reach through the bars and pull the hunk closer to me.

“Then take your stupid spell off, I can-cant be . . . I can’t be like you, I just can’t, you understand right. Even as the devil you have to understand what this will do to me, I don’t deserve that, I don’t want god to hate me or my family or friends. I deserve to love who I want without feeling like the worst human in existence!”

I pause and quickly whip the tears off my face. I look up at the knight, his face is full of sorrow, he looks sad . . . for me. I let go and fall to my knees, replay what I said, I try to find justification for it, I think of the dream. I was happy, I was loved and I was loving someone else. What if I am like the knight? The knight leans down

“ I can’t say I understand the mental fight that’s happening in your brain because I came from a palace where this wasn’t something I need to worry about but listen.”

The knight’s hand slowly reaches for my chin, his hands are calloused like most knights, yet his hands are still comfortable and somehow soft. I let him lift my chin up so I’m looking into his eyes, there like rubies, or sapphires

“Or like the pits of hell”

I ignore the thought and continue to stare into the knight’s eyes as he tries to comfort me.

“ The person you love isn’t a choice, it’s fate, and if God hates you for what you can’t control, then he isn’t manly nor does he deserve such a title. Hate is a choice, love isn’t.”

I get lost in his eyes for a little bit, but when I realize it I turn away, a little more aggressively than I wanted to. I move away and take a seat on the bench that is meant for the guards, I don’t want to leave but I can’t find it in me to talk, even though I hate the silence. I sit there staring at the ground feeling awkward, the knight must have felt the same way about silence because he started talking.

“ um back at my kingdom, the Toyomitsu kingdom, there real accepting of such things, like I’m our queen was born a prince”

I’ve heard of a man loving a man or woman loving a woman but this wasn’t something I had heard of. With my eyes still planted to the ground, I asked.

“ What does that mean?”

I could hear shifting from the cell but I refused to lookup 

“Oh uh sorry, I forget that our kingdom is more progressive and more diverse. So basically our queen was born like us, she had our body parts, but she wasn’t.”

“I still don’t understand”

“Ugg this is hard, so she felt like her brain and body weren’t the same, like her brain said, ‘Your a girl’ but her body parts were male parts.”

“So she is a girl but had a body similar to ours”

“ Yeah exactly, but she’s better at explaining it because, well she lives through it.”

“ So she’s your queen, what about children, whos going to take over the throne”

“ Oh her and the king have a kid, he’s just adopted but he’s still their son and still the rightful prince, he's gonna be a great king. Oh, anyways I was gonna say that our kingdom is really accepting and if you need they’ll probably let you in if you ever wanted to leave here.”

In shock, I lift my head for the first time since I sat on this bench

“Even though I'm the prince of the rival kingdom?”

“ We don’t care that much about this rivalry. So yeah you would be fine”

“ If they don’t care why are you here?”

“ Well because our kingdom is so diverse and recently outside kingdoms have discovered that the queen is trans, which is the term for that situation, by the way, I think I forgot to mention that. Anyway, the King is worried about future attack’s so he sent out multiple knights to different kingdoms.”

“Oh so we’re not your only threat”

“Your not even a threat, your kingdom is crumbling”

“Oh wow thanks, I’ll remember that when I become king.”

“ You mean IF you become king”

“What is that suppose to mean ‘Red Riot’”

For the rest of the night, I joked and listened to Kirishima’s stories. I wish to see his home kingdom one day it sounds pretty cool. Before I knew it I was asleep and having another dream. It was different, there were no choices or stress. It was just Kirishima and me out on a hill having a picnic, eating food together, he fed me strawberries and the dream ended with a kiss, maybe falling for the knight wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Maybe my wedding dream was a warning about my kingdom and not Kirishima. I woke up and realized I was still in the dungeon, and that it was almost time for the guards check up on Kirishima, so I started to sneak back up to my room, I successfully avoided the guards on my way there, I acted as if nothing happened, I’m a pretty good actor if I do say so myself.

In the king’s throne room, a royal knight is kneeling before his king, he comes with important information.

“Lord Kaminari, I found the dungeon door unlocked and the keys on the guard bench this morning”

“ Well don’t leave them there”

“ I didn’t sir, I believe someone is sneaking into the dungeon at night.”

“ How would that be possible, we have Shinsou guarding the keys at night?”

“ I believe that he may have fallen asleep on duty.”

“ Well we can’t afford to get new guards or to switch any of the guard’s jobs, just move the keys to a new location along with Shinsou, Shinsou will continue to guard them. I want you to keep an eye out for anything suspicious.”

“Yes Sir”

“You are now dismissed Monoma.”

All characters belong to Horikoshi and his series Boku No Hero Academia

[nerdygaymormon]

I’m sorry if this has been asked before, but- can I, as a gay person, go to heaven? I was reading in 1 Corinthians 6:9, which says “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,” and the footnote on ‘abusers of themselves’ states that this means homosexual behavior. It just makes me really sad and scared. Do I have to change to receive the blessing of god? Am I not a whole person worth of his kingdom? I just feel so lost and hurt.

Let’s first look at the scripture in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

All of the terms in Paul’s list, except for the first and last, appear to have been intentionally paired together: 

idolatry was often associated with adultery in the Old Testament 

makakoi and arsenokoitai

thieves and coveters both passionately want what belongs to others 

drunkenness often leads to reviling (slander)

There’s some question over the proper translation of some terms in verse 9. 

The Greek word makakoi means “soft, delicate.” 

Arsenokoitai is a compound noun, joining arsen (“male”) and koite (“bed,” inferring sex). Paul seems to have invented this word.

Since they are paired by Paul, the translators let arsenokoitai determine their word choice for makakoi. Other English translations of the Bible generally use words to indicate male prostitutes or young call boys for makakoi.

Modern scholars have interpreted makakoi and arsenokoitai generally as young (effeminate) male prostitutes and the men who bought their services. The scholars also interpret these words as the passive and active partners in same-sex activity (”bottom” and “top”). It wasn’t respectable for a male Roman citizen to take the women’s role in sex, so they were expected to be the “active” partner. Rather than homosexuality, the footnote could just as easily mention pederasty, pedophilia or prostitution as possible meaning of these words.

Following this list of vices, Paul discusses prostitution at some length (1 Cor 6:12-20), talking about “fornication” and “harlots." Paul has sex outside of marriage on his mind.

Paul is talking about a way of life in which we allow ourselves to be governed by worldly appetites rather than by the Spirit. He’s speaking against prostitutes or random hook-ups, where sex is being pursued for sex’s sake. Yet no one believes he is condemning sex between heterosexual married individuals. We likewise shouldn’t assume he’s forbidding relationships of commitment and love and trust between people of the same gender. That would be an inconsistent way of applying scriptures.

————————————————————

There’s some new Mormon folk doctrine being created about LGBTQ+ people because we don’t fit into the Plan of Salvation, or at least not the version of The Plan the church has. 

Because the church sees no gay people in The Plan, the church used to say that no one is gay, and leaders give all sorts of reasons that might make someone have these attractions (overbearing mother, absent father, lack of faith, masturbation, and so on). The church also taught that anyone who experiences these attractions can change and become straight. 

Several church leaders even taught that if gay people couldn’t change, that would frustrate God’s plan. Therefore God wouldn’t make it so people couldn’t change while also forbidding them from getting married. 

The church was wrong.

The church now says it doesn’t know why anyone experiences these attractions, but acknowledges people have same-sex attractions. In General Conference several times it’s been said we don’t expect these attractions to change. A few years ago the church ceased conversion therapies which tried to turn queer people straight. 

Yet the church hasn’t addressed the idea that God wouldn’t make people this way and forbid them from getting married. 

To get around this problem, some in the church are now saying that gay people will be changed to become straight after they die, and then they can get married and have all the blessings. 

That’s certainly inventive, but I don’t know any scriptures that would support this idea that someone undergoes a complete metamorphosis of who they are to someone else.

I have serious concerns about the Church saying to stay in church and remain alone and you’ll be blessed. If this is God’s will for us, why don’t we have resources to help us do this? We aren’t given ways to do this in a healthy way. In fact, this sort of path is usually accompanied by many negative impacts to our mental health and quality of life. 

Think about single cishet members of the church. They have leaders assigned to them to be aware of their concerns at the ward and stake level. There’s activities and groups arranged for them so they can meet and socialize and study the gospel together. Their ministering brothers & sisters are asked to be especially sensitive to them, to be available to give them blessings, to make sure they feel welcome to church activities. No such care is given to LGBTQIA members. 

————————————————————

The best advice I can give you is to trust yourself, listen to your feelings, pray and ask about your path in life, the next steps. 

If the Spirit says it’s okay to date, to pursue a relationship, then you know that this is approved by God, no matter what the church thinks about it. 

When I date a woman, try to hold her hand, it’s just, idk. It’s a chore. Yes, I can like her as a friend, but that’s it. I don’t feel any spark or deep connection. But if I’m on a date with a man, I feel a little giddy. Holding his hand is exciting, a kiss is electric. I feel things I don’t with women, I feel complete, whole, it feels so natural and right. All the love songs suddenly made sense. 

When I envision what an ideal life for me would be, I see me with a husband in a loving home, going to church, and doting on grandkids. Why do I feel such warm feelings when I picture this when the church says God wouldn’t want this for me? This may not become my reality, but there is a part of me that yearns for it.

————————————————————

Will a gay person go to heaven? I don’t know, I can’t answer that. I don’t know what a post-mortal life looks like. And frankly, no one else does either. If anyone claims they know, ask them what a typical day in heaven is like, what do people do? They can’t answer that.

What I will say is that God loves LGBTQIA+ people. God doesn’t respond to fervent prayers to “fix” us because being gay or trans isn’t “broken.” God intends for us to live our lives as queer people. God also wants us to have joy in our existence, and one way to do that is having a very close, intimate relationship with another person whom we love and who has our back. 

I also don’t think any of us are powerful enough to thwart God’s plan for us. The longer I live, the more I think we don’t have a blueprint to follow, but instead we co-create our path forward in life with God.

Some LGBTQIA+ people feel called to stay in the church, perhaps just for now or perhaps for all their life. Others come back to church after their spouse dies. Great. I’m not saying there’s one path for all gay or queer people. 

In a sense, we have the opportunity to use our agency, our ability to make choices, in a broader sense than other members of the church because they have so many rules and policies and advice given to them. They choose whether to follow the path the church gives to them, we have to imagine what possibilities are open to us. 

[la5t-res0rt]

this was written several weeks ago in response to asks i was receiving i am posting it now it is very long the longest i have ever made and it is not very well edited but here it is in this final essay i talk about how shitty rae is about black people in her writing as well as just me talking about how her writing sucks in general lets begin

hello everyone 

as you may know i have received a lot of anons in the last week or so about issues of racism in the beetlejuice community both just generally speaking and also within specific spaces 

i was very frustrated to not be getting the answers i wanted because i typically do not talk about what i do not see but in an effort to be better about discourse i went looking through discourse from before my time in the fandom and i also received some receipts and information from my followers and from some friends

keep in mind that the voices and thoughts of bipoc are not only incredibly important at all times but in this circumstance it is important that if a bipoc has something to add you listen and learn and be better

i admit that when this happened i wasnt aware of the extent of what occurred and im angry at myself for not doing more at that time and i want to work harder to make sure something like this doesnt go unnoticed again

im a hesitant to talk about months old discourse because i have been criticized for bringing up quote old new unquote but this is very important and i am willing to face whatever comes from to me

lets talk about this

content from our local racist idiot that may be months old but its important

putting my thoughts under a cut to spare the dash but before i begin obviously this is awful

lets fucking unpack this folks

right out the gate op states that she supports artistic freedom but then within a couple words she goes against that statement

being entirely canon compliant isnt artistic freedom and even so if this person has so much respect for canon they wouldnt be out here erasing lydias obvious disgust for beetlejuice in the movie or ignoring lydias age for the sake of shipping that shit isnt canon either 

also we love the quick jab at the musical there hilarious we love it dont we because god forbid a licensed and successful branch on a media have any standing in this conversation but whatever

now lets scroll down and talk about the term racebending

the term racebending was coined around 2009 in response to the avatar the last airbender movie a film in which the east asian races of the characters were erased by casting white actors in the three leading roles of aang sokka and katara 

whenever the term racebending is used in a negative light it is almost always a case of whitewashing like casting scarlett johansen in ghost in the shell or the casting of white actors of the prince of persia sands of time instead of iranian ones

this kind of racebending erases minorities from beeing seen in media and is wrong

all that being said however racebending has also been noted to have very positive after effects like the 1997 adaptation of cinderella or casting samuel jackson as nick fury in the marvel movies nick fury was originally a white guy can you even imagine

i read this piece from an academic that said quote writers can change the race and cultural specificity of central characters or pull a secondary character of color from the margins transforming them into the central protagonist unquote

racebending like the kind that rae is so heated about is the kind of creative freedom that leads to more representation of bipoc in media which will never be a bad thing ever no matter how pissy you get about it

designing a version of a character as a poc isnt serving to make them necessarily better it serves to give new perspective and perhaps the opportunity to connect even more deeply with a character it doesnt marginalize or erase white people it can uplift poc and if you think uplifting poc is wrong because it tears down white people or whatever youre a fucking moron and you need to get out of your podunk white folk town and see the real world

the numbers of times a bipoc particularly a bipoc that is also lgbt+ has been represented in media are dwarfed by what i as a white dude have seen myself represented in media is and that isnt okay that isnt equality and its something that should change not only in mainstream media but in fandom spaces as well

lets move down a bit further to the part about bullying straight people which is hilarious and lets also talk about the term fetishistic as well lets start with that

this person literally writes explicit pornography of a minor and an adult are we really going to let someone like that dictate what is and what isnt fetishistic

similarly to doing a positive racebend situation people may project lgbt+ headcanons on a character because its part of who they are and it helps them feel closer to the character and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that

depicting lgbt+ subject matter on existing characters isnt an inherently fetishistic action generally things only really become fetishistic when the media is being crafted and hyped by people who are outside of lgbt+ community for example how young teens used to flip a tit about yaoi or how chasers fetishize trans people

but drawing a character with top surgery scars or headcanoning them as trans is harmless and its just another way to interpret a character literally anone could be trans unless if their character bio says theyre cis and most of them dont go that deep so it really is open to interpretation and on the whole most creators encourage this sort of exploration because it is a good thing to get healthy representation out in the world

as for it being used to bully straights thats just funny i dont have anything else on that like if youre straight and you feel threatened and bullied because of someone headcanoning someone as anything that isnt cishet youre a fucking idiot and a weak baby idiot at that like the real world must fucking suck for you because lgbt+ people are everywhere and statistically a big chunk of your favorite characters arent cishet sorry be mad about it

lets roll down a bit further about the big meat of the issue which was when several artists were drawing interpretations of lydia as a black girl which i loved but clearly this person didnt love it because they have a very narrow and very racist and problematic view of what it means to be a black person

and before i move forward i must reiderate that i am a white person and you should listen to the thoughts of poc people like @fright-of-their-lives​ or @gender-chaotic it is not my place to explain what the black experience is like and it certainly isnt this persons either

implying that the story of a black person isnt worth telling unless if the character faces struggles like racism and prejudice is downright moronic 

why use the word kissable to describe a black persons lips now thats what i call fetishistic and its to another extreme if youre talking about a black version of lydia on top of that

the author of this post says herself that shes white so clearly shes the person whos an authority on the black experience and what it means to be a black person right am i reading that right or am i having a fucking conniption

how about allowing black characters to exist without having to struggle why cant a black version of lydia just be a goth teenager with a ghost problem who likes photography and is also black like she doesnt have to move to a hick town and get abused by racist folks she doesnt have to go through any more shit than she already goes through and if you honestly think thats the only way to tell a black persons story you need to get your brain cleaned

you know nothing about the complexities about being a black person and i dont either but you know wh odo black people who are doing black versions of canon characters they fucking know 

lets squiggle down just a bit further 

so the writer has issues with giving characters traits like a broad nose or larger lips if theyre a woman but if theyre a man suddenly its totally okay to go all ryan murphy ahs coven papa legba appropriation when approaching character design like are you fucking stupid do you hear yourself is that really how you see black men like what the fuck is wrong with you

none of the shit youre spewing takes bravery it takes ignorance and supreme levels of stupidity

do you really think you with your fic where a black lgbt+ woman is tortured and abused where you use the n word with a hard r to refer to her like that shits not okay its fucking depraved and yeah we know you love being shitty but like christ on a bike thats so much 

can we also talk about this

what the fuck is this fetishistic bull roar garbage calling this black character beyonce dressing her up in quote fuck me heels unquote are you are you seriously gonna write this and say its a shining example of how to write a black character youre basically saying ope here she is shes a sex icon haha im so progressive and i clealry understand the black experience hahahaha fuck you oh my god

on top of that theres a point where this character is only referred to as curly hair or the fact that the n word is used in the fic with the hard r like thats hands down not okay for you to use especially not in a manner like this jesus christ

oop heres a little more a sampling for you of the hell i am enduring in reading this drivel

oh boy lets put a leash on the angry black woman character lets put her in a leash and have the man imply hes a master like are you kidding me are you for real and what the fuck is with calling her shit like j lo and beyonce do you actually think thats clever at all are you just thinking of any poc that comes into your head for this 

also lydia fucking tells this girl that she shouldnt have lost her temper like she got fucking leashed im so tired why is this writing so problematic and also so bad

hold up before i lose my head lets look at some of her own comments on the matter of this character and what happens to her

hi hello youre just casually tossing the word lynch out there in the wide open world as if thats not a problem that is still real like are you fucking unhinged there have been multiple cases of this exact thing happening in our firepit of a country in the last five months alone like how can you still have shit like this up for people to read how can you be proud of work like this in this climate

and also what the fuck is that last bit 

what the actual fuck

i dont speak for black people as a white person but you do!? im sorry i had to get my punctuation out for that because wow thats fucking asinine just because one black person read your fic and didnt find the torture and abuse of your one black character abhorrant doesnt mean that the vast majority of people not only in the fandom but in the human population with decency are going to think its okay because its not 

i started this post hoping to be level headed and professional but jesus fucking christ this woman is something else white nationalism is alive and well folks and its name is rae

if you defend this woman you defend some truly abhorrant raecism

editors notes 

in order to get some perspective on these issues more fully some of the writing by the author was examined and on the whole it was pretty unreadable but i want to just call back to the very beginning of this essay where the person in question talked about holding canon in high regard but then in their writing they just go around giving people magic and shit and ignoring the end of the movie entirely like are you canon compliant or nah 

the writing doesnt even read like beetlejuice fanfic it reads as self indulgent fiction you could easily change the names and its just a bad fanfic from 2007

also can we talk about writing the lesbian character as an angry man hater like its 2020 dude and als olets touch on that girl on girl pandering while beetlejuice is just there like here we go fetishizing again wee

i cant find a way to work this into this already massive post but

im going to throw up

okay so thats a lot we have covered a lot today and im sure my ask box will regret it but this definitely should have been more picked apart when it happened

please feel free to add more to this i would love more perspectives than just my own.

[bisluthq]

in the last week i've seen so many ppl in their teens and early 20s talking about how following you know who affected them negatively when they were younger and idk if it was Kickstarted by ttb4 or someone else before them but its been eyeopening to see. on gaylor twitter on debunking ttbs blog and on other gaylor blogs. and imo I think this is why straight woman shouldnt be given a leader role in lgbt fandoms. they accidentally mess lgbt teens up cos they dont understand how to handle stuff pro

Yeah it’s heartbreaking. Like genuinely. I’m so sorry for every kid who has felt like they were not enough for questioning themselves and going back and forth, or for not coming out, or who second guessed if they “looked” gay in pictures if they were closeted for safety reasons. I’m also sorry to every convert who wondered if their conversion was valid, to every Jewish kid who was told if they wear a crop top or pose with a Christmas tree they are bad Jews, to every single kid whose identity was dismissed or brushed aside. I’m so, so sorry and I want to tell every single one of these young people that they are fucking valid and enough.

But this is also where we can learn a very valuable lesson about staying in our designated lanes because I don’t think TTB is a bad human being. I think she is fundamentally good - just like I think most people are fundamentally good. Like I like do poke fun at her but it’s out of frustration, not because I think she is actually evil. No person is ever truly evil, IMO. But I’m frustrated with her because people have been saying and saying and saying to her that she’s hurting them and she hasn’t fucking listened. She has talked over them and erased their experiences and... well, and that’s where we can, as I say, learn a very valuable lesson.

Because what I think happened was TTB saw two very hot women and decided they’d make a very hot couple (which... fair). It’s not like you can’t stan queer people when you’re straight. We need allies, right? There’s absolutely nothing wrong with stanning Kaylor - or some other queer couple - as a straight person. But you shouldn’t try and be the leading voice on the issue because you’re bound to get stuff wrong. And if you’re willing to learn, like, fair. If you’re genuinely just interested and wanting to hear about the person or people you love, I have no issue with that. Like every Karlie or Dianna blog I’ve ever interacted with and corrected on issues around Judaism, has been extremely cool about it. Because they love Karlie and Dianna and they want to get it right. Which like fair. You don’t need to be Jewish to fangirl over Karlie or Dianna Agron or Bar Rafaeli or whoever. But if you talk over marginalized people? Not cool.

Like there’s, as I say, a super valuable lesson here and it applies to everyone like it’s not that I’m above it. So for example I love Megan Thee Stallion. I think she’s so hot, and so fucking funny, and her music is banging, and she is so smart and witty and I like... love her. Truly. Deeply. Should I run a blog on Meg that attempts to be The Meg blog? (For the record I don’t want to be The Anything blog I’m just fucking about and having fun rn but obvi we have a Tay Swift focus - but this shouldn’t be The Taylor blog lmao because I’m a clown). The answer is a resounding no. No, I shouldn’t. Because I would get stuff wrong. Not because I’d want to. Not because I’m not an ally. I am. But I’m not a Black woman and I don’t have that experience and it would be exhausting for Black women to have to keep educating so it wouldn’t be a fair ask - even if I were to listen (which I would but it’d still be taxing af). I LOVE Elliot Page in every thing he’s ever done since Juno. I was fucking obsessed with that movie. Should I attempt to become an authority on him and his life? No because I’d get stuff wrong and it would be exhausting for trans people to keep teaching me.

Now is there anything wrong with me stanning Black women? No. Is there anything wrong with me stanning trans people? No. But should I attempt to be the loudest voice on these people? No. Because I’ll get stuff wrong. And it will, as I say, become exhausting to folks who correct me and will be harmful to young people who look to me as an authority. So it’ll become a problem. Which is what happened here, right? Like I say this is a very very valuable lesson that I hope everyone - especially my younger readers - takes away from this mess.

And honestly, again, I don’t think TTB is a bad person and I wish she would just listen to what we’re saying instead of what she wants to hear us saying. Like I wish she’d take a deep breath, listen to understand and hear and not to respond, apologize to the marginalized folks she hurt and come back and just... have fun. Yet again let me reiterate that I had nothing to do with TTB’s deletion and I didn’t ask any of these kids to come forward - but I’m so proud of them and glad they did. I think TTB is probably a lovely person and a good friend to the other hard Kays. She’s welcome to come clown 🤡 but she must first do the work.

And to do the work she must sit down and hear what people are saying. And apologize.